#w: Mr. 100% Perfect

[sweetcherrybmb]

BY THE BOOK//MV1\\

pairing: max verstappen x student!reader

description: college is hard... senior year is harder... the final week is hell... all of that, along with media attention, makes for an interesting time...

faceclaim: various pinterest girls

y/username

liked by maxverstappen1, user1 and 44,645 others

y/username closing in... one month to go!

maxverstappen1 a month till i have you all to myself

y/username ugh cant wait either

user1 ugh, she makes learning look hot

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y/username

liked by maxverstappen1, carmenmmundt and 46,565 others

y/username one subject taken off the roster, like a million more to go...

carmenmmundt aaaaah, can't wait to see you!!! good luck w school bby

y/username me either!!!! thanksss <<33

maxverstappen1 look at my pretty girl being smart <3

y/username 🥺 love you maxiee <<33 maxverstappen1 <3

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y/username

liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe and 46, 546 others

y/username And another one!

lilymhe pookie looking fire as always!!

y/username thank you pookie maxverstappen1 huh? y/username for someone our age, you are beyond confused and it sometimes concerns me lilymhe come to me bbg, i know it all y/username sorry, but alex aint letting me alex_albon damn right im not, back off my girl

user2 those 100% are calling me stupid in every language

user3 like fr, she's putting my A's to shaame

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y/username

liked by maxverstappen1, y/bro/username and 57,632 others

y/username more studying, feat. lil bro cause he wanted coffee and the pic was nice

y/bro/username the coffee was good... the fact i didn't pay for it... even better

y/username wow, really mature, mr. im yoUng ANd have mY oWn moNEy y/bro/username yeah, i said i had money not that i spend it user4 a whole mood tbh

maxverstappen1 @y/bro/username my gf is not your ATM, love you tho little man

y/username tell him maxie!! y/bro/username sorry max, wont do it again

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y/username

liked by maxverstappen1, user5 and 64,258 others

y/username its the final count dooown ft. maxie cause he got some time off 💃🏻

maxverstappen1 put your phone down and come over

y/username 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ user6 so real for that

lilymhe @/carmenmmundt she fr chose him over us

carmenmmundt i mean, thats criminal y/username you girls know you'll always be my no.1s maxverstappen1 ?? im next to you y/username 👩🏻‍🦯

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maxverstappen1

liked by y/username, redbullracing and 561,207 others

maxverstappen1 the only right way to spend my break <3

y/username love you, baby

maxverstappen1 love you too, cutie <3

user7 imagine being picked up with flowers and coffee, i'd die tbh

user8 the matching pj's, soo cute

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y/username

liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe and 64,115 others

y/username did yall think he didn't bring the children??

maxverstappen1 send me that pic rn

y/username way ahead of you, check your messages

user9 im, sorry, he brought the cats with him, they're watching friends and eating in bed?? your honor they're perfect

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maxverstappen1

liked by y/username, redbullracing and 664,879 others

maxverstappen1 forcing her to take a break <3

y/username you know i cant deny your eyes <3 user10 so real for that

hater1 them dating for like one week a year is so annoying

user11 you being single is so annoying user12 omg right? like get a life

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y/username

liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe and 64,513 others

y/username i graduated or something, idk

maxverstappen1 congrats my love!!<<33

y/username mwah <3

lilymhe omg, congrats beautiful!!!

y/username thank you pookie!! alex_albon congrats professor, hope you can teach max some anger management!! y/username i honestly think yall are the problem cause hes a sweet baby angel around me landonorris uh-hu whatever you say... congrats tho!! y/username yall are getting on my nerves...

carmenmmundt congrats love, can't wait for dinner tonight, georgie is already stressing over his suit!!

georgerussell63 its the wrong color, its not gonna match your aesthetic😔 y/username dont worry georgie, its gonna be fine whatever you wear, also thank you bby

lewishamilton congrats little lady!! rosscoe is ready for dinner, bowtie and all

y/username thank youuu, i just know he will be the best behaved guest of them all

redbullracing Congratulations, professor!

y/username thank you!!<3

fernandoalo_official congrtulations little lady!!

y/username thank you old man<<33

sebastianvettel congrats shatzi!!!

y/username dankeschön!!!

user13 mother is mothering!! congrats!!! liked by y/username

user14 ugh i cant wait for the dinner pics

user15 and the drunk pics hihi liked by y/username user15 MOTHER LIKING!!?? liked by y/username

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y/username

liked by maxverstappen1, josko_gvardiol and 661,156 others

y/username an amazing night; featuring all of my favourite people and josko who said he couldn't come

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TAGS

@yllomhej @walldemons @shelbyteller

if anybody else wants to be tagged, send me a DM or an ask!

[luvtak]

mr. sandman, bring me a dream

✧ pairing 7 dream x reader

✧ genre/tw fluff fluffy fluff fluff, what i think dating them would be like <3 an embarrassing amount of run-on sentences i'm sure.... the dreamies being the most perfect boyfriends to exist, mostly unedited

✧ w/c 2293 (about 300 words each!!)

✧ a/n back to my roots writing for nct... also,,, not the dreamies being my ult group but my last group to do these headcanons for :/ i have so much fun writing these little ideas and dreams about them let me know if you want more!

MARK truly the definition of wrapped around your finger… tells everyone about you every day of his life. Smiles at everything you say and calls you the cutest names. Makes sure everyone knows that you’re taken for life–no ifs about it. Tells you about his whole day, down to the most unimportant details. Kisses you all around your face and gets red seeing you so flustered. Constantly saying the worst pickup lines. Always always makes time for you even with his busy schedule. Talks to your family on the phone and becomes best friends with your siblings. Lets you win during video games and pretends that you’re just so much better than him. Never comes empty-handed–if you invite him over he’s bringing some sort of present he can’t help it. Wraps you up in at least three layers when it looks a little cold outside. Starts bringing up ideas for a Halloween couple’s costume in January. Celebrates your birthdays and accomplishments like his own. Holds you close to him in any moment of rest, the members are around? He’s only bringing you in closer. I’m sorry to say this, but he is definitely one of those people who refer to you as a “we”... “we watched that movie last week!” or “sorry, we can’t come, we have plans.” Would never even think about fighting with you and when it can’t be avoided, he is always the first to apologize. Walks around draped over you, his neck falling onto your shoulder and clumsily shuffling you along. Steals your phone to take silly pictures of himself, and you end up having 500 selfies of Mark making the same five kissy faces. Fixes your clothes/jewelry/hair as the day takes its toll. Kisses your wrist whenever you hold hands. Lovely and forever committed to giving you the sweetest existence possible.

RENJUN  My angel boy<3 would be the most loving boyfriend if you’re able to get past him giving you sm attitude. Lovingly scolds you 24/7 365. Pouts if you don’t say you love him back or forget to kiss him before you leave. Steals your sweaters and jewelry. Makes you laugh so hard you cry, then kisses the tears away. Has the worst case of cute aggression when he see’s you like he can’t help but take a bite out of you. Whenever you ask him to do something he’ll roll his eyes and scoff but still gets up to do it anyway. Says your name so sweetly and with so much love it could be a term of endearment. Sings to you when you’re sad. Holds you so tight when you sleep, like he could absorb you into his own skin. Carries a picture of you in his wallet everywhere he goes. Gets genuinely annoyed when other people know something about you that he didn’t–wants to know everything, especially the embarrassing stuff. Acts of service king, does things for you and expects nothing but a kiss in return. Gives you the first bite of his food. Forehead kisses 100% of the time. Extremely tenderhearted, wants to be loved and love in return with nothing holding him back. Knows your schedule down to a T. Shakes his head at every joke you tell, but still grants you a laugh. Kisses you slowly and earnestly even if theres people around. Drops the most earth-shattering confessions of love at random moments and just expects you to move on. Matching accessories are a must!! And he will be ready to break up if your forget it one day (we have seen how he is with the dreamies friendship rings). Wraps himself completely around you when no one is around, and stays that way until one of you has to get up. Loves completely and wholeheartedly and is a perfect perfect boy. 

JENO Shy and perpetually flustered, cannot believe he got you fr. Alternates between the cockiest boy you’ve ever met and the most oblivious creature around. Is so in awe of you, cannot get over you choosing him. A big baby of a boyfriend. Body slouched over yours at all times. Tells everyone it isn’t obvious how unbelievably whipped he is for you than giggles when you call him a pet name. Loves when you fawn over him lol, would feel so good about himself when you laugh at his jokes or wear an outfit because he said you looked pretty in it. Definitely the kind of boy who gets you a necklace with his initials on it. Is somehow even more smiley when you’re around. His love language is 100% acts of service–helping you with chores and making dinner, he desperately wants to wash your hair and help take your makeup off. Always takes you home himself and makes you call him before you go to bed. Kisses you all over when you’re sad and squeezes you so tight you can’t breathe. Puts his lips right over your ear and whispers so you can hear him in loud places, sometimes telling terrible jokes to see you laugh. Constantly on the phone with you–will get yelled at by his members and staff to focus on his schedule. Takes you on long drives and lets you have the aux the whole time, smiles even when he hates the song.  Snuggles up to you and has you in an iron grip all night; wakes up periodically to tell you to stop wiggling. Literally a broken record of “oh my s/o would like this!” and “you would never believe what my s/o told me…” Tucks you into his sweater when you’re cold and always carries extra clothes because he knows you’ll forget. Could never hide his feelings for you, it’s written all over–hairbands and your favorite snacks in his cabinets. Is so so so in love with you, and would never even think about being embarrassed of it. <3

HAECHAN Sweet as cherry pie. Silly and charming and the kindest boy you know. Lives his life attached to you, hands on your hips and kisses pressed everywhere he can reach. Never goes a day without telling you he loves you in the most sickeningly sweet ways possible. Listens to every word you say, goes as far as telling other people to be quiet so he can hear you better. Serenades you with the most obnoxious renditions of love songs and coos when you make faces at him. Teases you endlessly–tickles and jokes and ridiculous nicknames, but would never let anyone else make a joke at your expense. Sleeps fully on top of you, head pressed under your chin and hands slipped under your sleep shirt. Celebrates you and your relationship with all of him, always the loudest voice singing happy birthday and the prettiest flowers congratulating you for an achievement at work or school. Speaks to you so softly and with so much compassion you almost get whiplash when you see him around the dreamies. Brings home sweet treats and little keepsakes from his day out. Will watch a movie or listen to a new song and note all the parts you’d like so he can play it for you later and speak to you about it. Unbelievably protective, not in a toxic way, but he wants so much to be able to take care of you and keep you safe–hand pressed on your back while you walk through crowds, and his hand protecting you from hitting your head as you get in the car. Has lists of important days in his notes app, cataloging gifts he could get you and your order at all your favorite restaurants. The perfect silly boyfriend, caring and lovely and everything you need

JAEMIN Marry this man. Has been committed and steadfast in his dedication to you since you met. Extremely serious when it comes to your heart and your feelings. The first to say I love you or to apologize after a fight–would never raise his voice at you or say things he didn’t mean. Is always feeding you, either a complete meal that took him an hour to make or the most perfect bowl of ramyeon you’ve ever had. Constantly sending you pictures of the cats. LOVES pda–kisses you in front of everyone and laughs when they groan, cuddles with you on the practice room couch, and rolls his eyes when the dreamies gag. Always kisses you with soft hands on your cheeks and the prettiest smile. Buys you a keepsake from everywhere they go on tour and gives it to you in a huge suitcase and will not feel ashamed in the slightest. Somehow finds out how to bring you up in every conversation, “oh they really like this song” or “thats actually their favorite movie you know…” you would truly never have to worry about anything with this man, he’s gonna take care of everything, a future airport dad if i’ve ever seen one. Sends tiktoks of cute animals and pouts if you don’t like them right away. Buys you silly sweatshirts and phonecases and demands you wear them proudly as a symbol of his everlasting love. Out of all of the boys, I feel like he is the most likely to give you a promise ring, and in my heart, I know he would have his name engraved on the inside–a quiet confession only the two of you know about. Sleeps directly on top of you, I just know it… holds onto you in every crowd. So many conversations between little kisses and I love yous. Always carries your things, whether it be a bag or shoes that got too uncomfortable his hands are open and ready whenever you need them. The most perfect boy in the world, and whose surprised? 

CHENLE truly your best friend in the entire world, f2l in its entirety… would roast you every minute of every day but if anyone else even dared he is shutting that shit down right away. His arm has a permanent residence on your waist. Giggles at you when you’re annoyed at him but apologizes anyway. Makes you watch him play basketball at 11 pm and laughs when you say you're cold and sleepy, but takes you home right away. Will kiss you in front of anyone–loves it when you get all shy and flustered. Always trying to give you expensive presents and rolling his eyes when you tell him to reign it in. dog dates with Daegal!!! Talks about you so causally that the dreamies didn’t realize you were his girlfriend until he kissed you goodbye, and they were all so dumbfounded. Will watch anything if you like it and will tell you it sucked with a smile on his face before kissing you as an apology. Huge bouquets for any anniversary or birthday. Wraps his arms around you and rocks you around, whispering sweet words that he’d deny if you told anyone about. Stares at you 24/7 and gives you his 100-watt smile. Goes out of his way to help you–buys your groceries, helps wash your hair, picks you up, and takes you wherever you need to go–but always denies it. Begs you to wear his clothes, bonus points if it’s something that has his name on it, or some nct merch. Has an iron grip on your hand at any given point and giggles when you try to get free. Will listen to literally anything you tell him. Smiles into kisses and sighs when you pull away. Is so domestic and lovely in everything he does, even if sometimes he is the biggest menace. 

JISUNG so so so shy, truly does not know how to have a s/o in public lmao. When you’re alone he’s the cutest most confident boy in the world but as soon as there is another person around he does not know you. He makes it obvious that it's just because he’s awkward, but sometimes you definitely do have to tell him to stop being a weirdo and to hold your hand. Constantly makes fun of people with you and is always ready to hear some hot goss. Is always listening to you–even if everyone in the room is talking over you, he will be looking at you with his full attention and urging you to go on. Laughs at everything you say even if it's not funny. Kisses your cheek every morning first thing, and thinks you look so cute cuddled up into the covers. Piggy-backs you everywhere: you drank a little too much or it's too early… up you go! You being comfortable and happy is his priority in any situation, and if anyone including himself is disrupting that he is dealing with it immediately. Whether that means complaining to one of hyungs to help him or going straight to the source of the issue, he’s going to try and help you, even if it’s not like him to speak up for himself–you’re the most important thing to him. Tries to teach you nct dances and gets unbearable secondhand embarrassment when he sees you mess up. Almost exposes your relationship once a month. Is wrapped around you every single moment you’re alone, even if it’s just for a second–someone leaves the room? Jisung is suddenly fully enveloping you. Thinks pda is so embarrassing but would try so hard to be more openly affectionate with you. Blushes to his roots when you sweet talk him no matter how long you’ve been together. Kisses your hands when it’s cold outside and wouldn’t even think about giving you anything of his if you needed it. The sweetest, shyest boy, and so wonderful–loving him and being loved in return would be the loveliest gift.

© LUVTAK

[https-milo]

I didn’t see him on your list of characters guide but would you ever do Fatgum for the Instagram series? If not feel free to ignore this! I just love him a lot!

I NEED TO UPDATE MY LIST OF CHARACTERSSS I SWEAR!! THIS IS LIKE THE SECOND TIME SOMEONE'S REQUESTED SOMEONE WHO WASN'T ON THE LIST BUT I DON'T MIND DOING :,((

anyways! thanks for the request!!

DATING TAISHIRO TOYOMITSU(FAT GUM) INSTAGRAM!

details!

instagram posts w/ comments while dating Taishiro Toyomitsu(Fat Gum)!

a/n OBVIOUSLY these are just pictures off of pinterest, reader can be however you imagine!

main m. list / instagram m. list

y/nbakes · 13w

5.1k likes Liked by bmi.fatgum, t.amajiki

y/nbakes new bite-sized pies at the bakery! come on down and let me know how they taste! :D Tagged: sugarcoatbakery

t.amajiki /bmi.fatgum you wanted a new bakery to visit, right? bmi.fatgum t.amajiki wow amajiki! this is great! if only you could speak out like this during work hours, huh? t.amajiki bmi.fatgum you're so mean. this is workplace harassment

bmi.fatgum THOSE LOOK SO GOOD! I'M RUNNING! y/nbakes bmi.fatgum UH HELLO? I'LL SEE YOU SOON THEN, MR. FAT GUM!

bmi.fatgum · 10w

21.7k likes Liked by t.amajiki, redriot, y/nbakes

bmi.fatgum I've been going to sugarcoatbakery every day for two weeks now, they never miss! The food is so good!

Tagged: y/nbakes

y/nbakes AHH OMG! HELLO?? Thank you so much, Mr. Fat gum! I'm glad you enjoy the food my staff and I make! bmi.fatgum y/nbakes ANYTIME! YOU'RE SO TALENTED! y/nbakes bmi.fatgum you're too sweet :,) <3 bmi.fatgum y/nbakes I should be saying that to you, considering you're the baker! :D y/nbakes bmi.fatgum well, you're the one that eats all my sweets! you inhale everything sweet, sooo YOU are sweet! ^-^ bmi.fatgum y/nbakes whatever you say ;)

redriot OH HEY! That's the place you took Amajiki and me to! t.amajiki redriot yeah... I showed it to him and he's obsessed with goin now. only when the owner is working though bmi.fatgum t.amajiki AHAHAH WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN, TAMAKI!? t.amajiki bmi.fatgum I feel your glare through my screen and it's scaring me. I wanna go home.

INSTAGRAM DIRECT MESSAGES!

bmi.fatgum replied to your story: we should do that again buttt without Tamaki and Kirishima!!

y/nbakes: I would love to!! that'd be so fun :D

bmi.fatgum: sooo it's a date? Read 18:26

y/nbakes: SORRY I WAS FREAKING OUT Sent 18:32

y/nbakes: UH YES PLEASE! JUST LET ME KNOW WHEN???

bmi.fatgum: of course, I'll pick you up Saturday?

y/nbakes: YESYESYESYEYSES

INSTAGRAM DIRECT MESSAGES!

bmi.fatgum replied to your story: making me look big and for what :(

y/nbakes: taiiii you realize you eat my entire inventory during your patrols right ^-^

y/nbakes: no offense, but it is also kind of a part of your quirk!!

y/nbakes: besidesss it makes you strong, right? but I think you're already strong, skinny form or hero form!!

bmi.fatgum: you think im strong?

y/nbakes: well duh! why wouldn't I?

y/nbakes: you're not #58 for no reason, y'know? bmi.fatgum reacted "❤️" to this message

bmi.fatgum: thanks y/n :)

bmi.fatgum: are you interested in going out again?

y/nbakes: 1000000000%!!

y/nbakes: tonight was so fun <3

y/nbakes: thank youuu

bmi.fatgum: anytime! :DD

bmi.fatgum: how about a restaurant this time?

y/nbakes: id love that!

bmi.fatgum: great! I'll pick you up Tuesday night? y/nbakes reacted "❤️" to this message

y/nbakes: sounds perfect :)

y/nbakes · 9w

6.3k likes Liked by bmi.fatgum, t.amajiki, redriot

y/nbakes me and the newly-appointed boyfriend had an amazing dinner <3 (the flowers smelt soooo good!!)

Tagged: bmi.fatgum

bmi.fatgum our past few dates have been so fun, I'm so glad we're together!! <33 y/nbakes bmi.fatgum me too!! I'm super glad you came into my bakery and ate all those apple pies a month ago ^^ bmi.fatgum y/nbakes I'd do it again 100 times y/nbakes bmi.fatgum for me or the pies? bmi.fatgum y/nbakes both!! 🥰🥰

redriot wow, I dont think i've seen Fat Gum with portions that small y/nbakes redriot don't let the picture fool you!! (he ordered 6 different meals and 2 whole cakes) redriot y/nbakes sounds more like it! 😭😭

© https-milo. please do not repost, steal, copy, or modify my works!

Thank you so much for reading <3

me after adding variety for the insta posts: 😁😁

how do we feel about the story posts? :P

[peterm4rker]

from the rooftops || m.l

three. or so he thought (written)

🕸🕷✮⋆˙ wc. 1.5k w. curse words, very mild villain attack! ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

the morning was more frantic than usual at apartment 16.

four people sat around your room, munching on their bowls of fruit loops and almond milk as they watched their dear friend pace around her room. there was an enormous pile of clothing sitting on your bed, different outfits sprawled around as they waited to be chosen.

“okay, so, which one do you all like best between one and five?” you asked, looking at your friends expectantly. 

“four, that skirt looks amazing on you” yujin spoke, hand over her mouth as she continued eating

“agreed, but maybe with the shoes you chose for two” chanhee added, younghoon and rei nodding along.

“are we sure? 100%?” you triple checked, earning a loud and exasperated “yes!” from rei as she threw a pillow at you, urging you to go to the bathroom and change.

picking an outfit was never much hardship in the morning, as long as you looked decent and felt comfortable everything was perfect. but today was different, because you had an unofficial first date with mark and you had to blow him away. you got dressed as quick as you could after glancing at the time, knowing that younghoon would murder you if you made him late to class again. 

you left as quickly as you could, parting ways with the group once you found yourself in your destination, each heading to their respective classes with goodbyes and enthusiastic goodlucks. the hours between lectures ticked slowly and painfully, your patience running lower than normal as you kept thinking of the cute boy that would hopefully be waiting for you outside of your last class.

the clock hit 1:30 just as mr. hong finalised and dismissed the class, allowing you to fling your bag over your shoulder and exit the classroom as fast as you could. you stopped in your tracks at the door, breath catching in your throat at the sight of a slightly nervous looking mark lee. he stood to the side, leaning on the wall as he played with his fingers. cute.

you walked towards him with a small smile on your lips, gently tapping his shoulders to get his attention. his eyes widened slightly and his lips mirrored yours as he raised his hand on a small wave.

“hey, yn” he muttered. he seemed shyer than what you had initially thought, and it was incredibly endearing.

“hey, mark, thank you for waiting for me” you gave him a bright smile and he could’ve sworn his heart skipped a beat.

mark shook his head before replying “don’t worry about it, you ready?”

you nodded and you both began making your way to the cafeteria, comfortable but uncertain silence surrounding you. you ordered your usual coffee and sat on a table outside, pulling out your computer and looking up at him.

“thank you for doing this, by the way, i hope i'm not too much trouble” you spoke, and mark knew it was the sweetest sound he would ever hear.

“not at all, thank you for showing interest” he bowed his head in politeness, causing your heart to melt a little bit.

“of course, now tell me what this is all about” 

and that's how you spent a good hour, listening to him explaining complicated biochemistry concepts as your brain struggled to take them in and write notes about them at the same time, not completely comprehending how a person could talk about the subject so fluidly. mark spoke as if he was talking about his morning routine, with such naturality and comfortability that he made it sound easy.

but it wasn’t, not at all.

“so what you’re saying is basically that In high-temperature conditions, shifts in microbial composition may reveal a pronounced reduction in mesophilic organisms, with a concurrent increase in thermotolerant and potentially pathogenic taxa?” you asked, a frown decorating your face as you read what you had written out of his explanation.

“uhm, yeah, that’s a part of it” he chuckled at how confused you looked. his words made your eyes widened in surprise.

“part of it? how do you even do this every day?” you groaned as you let your forehead fall onto the table, causing mark to laugh once again.

“it's really interesting once you understand it, i promise” he smiled as he caught your eyes when you looked back up.

“i'm sure it is” you sighed, rubbing your eyes under the glasses you were obligated to use by the impending light of your screen.

“wanna move on to proliferation of anaerobes?” he asked, the side of his mouth curved in a small amused smile as he watched your exasperated expression.

“sure, go ahead” your unenthusiastic tone earned you a chuckle from his lips, causing you to smile before attempting to focus back as he began to speak again.

another hour passed as he continued to explain, helping you write key points of the article. you noticed a frown appear on his face as he looked up to the clock on the wall, to which you tilted your head in question.

“i  have to head out, i have a class” the boy commented, opening the way for disappointment to set on your chest. 

“that’s okay, i’ll stay for a bit to finish up” you gave him a reassuring smile as he put his stuff away.

“it was nice to hang out with you, yn, we should, uhm, do it more often” he almost stuttered, his ears turning a soft pink.

“definitely, i'll text you” you nodded with a smile. he waved at you one last time before turning away and walking out of the cafe. you watched him until he was out of your sight, waiting until you were sure he was gone before hiding your face in your hands to muffle a squeal.

★🕷️⋆｡ °⋆

mark walked with a pep on his step.

he had just spent a good two hours with the love of his life, even if she didn’t know that she was. he had made her laugh many times, as well as shown off his brain. literally nothing could ruin the marvellous afternoon he was having.

or so he thought until he felt a familiar dizziness, a tingle on his body that never brought good news. his body reacted out of instinct as he looked for the nearest place to change, finding one of the inhabited buildings and booking it towards it as sneakily as he could.

his suit was on faster than he could even think, and he climbed to the tallest ceiling the moment he was ready. nothing looked suspicious from there, but he knew something was wrong.

his suspicions were proven right as he heard a loud scream coming from the humanities building.

the humanities building.

he reacted as fast as he ever had, swinging towards the sound with his heart beginning to race. he looked for you frantically as he moved, attempting to identify the threat and more importantly, make sure you were safe.

It didn't take long to find who was wreaking havoc at such early hours. the “villain” (if you could even call him that) looked like he was losing his mind. his eyes were open wide and bloodshot as he laughed maniacally. he didn't seem to have any type of weapon, he was most likely harmless compared to others mark had defeated before.

spidey’s thoughts were interrupted by a loud echo that he barely physically dodged. soundwaves.

he moved as fast and sneakily as he thought, wanting to minimise the damage that could happen if the villain realised he was there. he knew he had to apprehend his hands first since they were seemingly the sources of the sounds, so he moved to be able to approach him from behind.

the next moments were a blur. the level of hyperfixation and awareness mark experienced when fighting always led him to act by impulse, ending up in blurred images and, more frequently than not, painful reminders of what had gone on.

the adversary was defeated quickly enough for no one to get hurt, mark making sure his hands were completely wrapped in webs before tying him around a lamppost for the police to take when they got there. he moved on to make sure there were no people harmed, his eyes finally finding the ones he seeked the most.

“mam, are you okay?” he asked, doing his best to change his voice as he looked at you. your eyes widened with surprise, your head moving up and down quickly in affirmation.

“yes, nothing happened to me” you reassured, stare still fixated on the figure in front of you. you were talking to spiderman. spiderman was talking to you.

what the fuck.

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© peterm4rker, 2024

[waffledforbreakfast]

Receiving Love Letters - [MUTI! BLLK X F!READER] (pt2)

(SEPARATE)

Staring: ness, otoya, karasu, Reo

pt1: rin, sae, shidou, niko, kaiser

[ BLLK Scenario Masterlist ]

TW: heavy ooc, bad grammar, bad spelling, bad formatting, cringe, scuff, etc.

>Ness

Ness had put a bit too much effort into his letter, spending every hour of every day working on it

Kaiser had to drag him out of his room if he wanted to go anywhere

And finally came the day that Ness finished it, now it was time to deliver it to you

But he started doubting himself, and was about to turn back around to redo it, worried that it wasn’t good enough for you

But Kaiser pushed him into you, giving Ness a semi-encouraging smile (but really he was thinking smt like “cmon Ness, just get it over with…”)

Poor Ness could not stop stuttering, with every second his face grew hotter

“I- HERE.” he bowed before shoving the letter in your face and running off

He basically melted once he was out of your line of sight

“ahhhHHHHH KAISER I DID ITT. DO YOU THINK SHE THINKS IM WEIRD?? AGHARG”

“Ness, stop freaking out, it’s literally over-”

“Kaiserrrr, what if she hate’s meeeeeeee ;n; ”

“...cHILL-”

You opened the letter, interested by what he’d write

“Mein Engel, I love you so so much, much more then you could ever believe, I’d do anything for you ♡ Please go out with me? I beg you, I’ll even get on my knees if you ask, please please go out with me. It’ll make me the happiest guy in the world, I’ll be so lucky if you do. I find it hard to believe you like me at all, but I promise I’ll be perfect for you ♡♡♡ Please, just one chance?”

You giggled as you put the paper away, looking forwards to hanging out w/him more

>Otoya

Otoya didn’t see the point in beating around the bush, so he approached you after school one day

“Hey, so you do like me, I was right!” He smirked with a smug face as he put his hands in his pockets

You hesitated, you should’ve expected that he’d be so direct and cocky. “If you’re just here to make fun of me you can go…” you mumbled, slightly embarrassed, and regretted sending the letter

He laughed “No no that’s not what i’m here for. I actually came to ask you out.” Otoya smiled, it seemed genuine, but who knows

“...Huh-?? You fr??” you were understandably skeptical, this man plays around with every girl

“Yea, 100%. I even stopped talking to other girls just for you, so you better accept.” 

“Wait you what-??”

“WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY- is that I like you and we should go out.” He said, smiling, but his face was starting to flush

You notice this and found it quite amusing, “Alright alright, I’ll go out with you, Mr. F2ck Boy” you teased

He laughed, and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, “Great, I’ll dm you the details” and with that, he left

Internally he was so happy, you actually agreed! He smiled to himself, looking like an idiot

Meanwhile, Karasu, Yukimiya, and Hiori watched from afar, silently laughing at him

>Karasu

In typical Karasu fashion, he felt the need to one up you. So he encrypted his letter as well, challenging you to decode it

He put the letter in front of you, and sat down on the other side of the table.

He had asked to meet with you, so you weren’t that surprised. You looked at the letter then back at him, “You sure you want me to read this in front of you?” you questioned

“Go ahead and try, this is the hardest one yet.” he sounded proud of himself for coming up with such a complex code

“Alright” you shrugged and picked up the paper.

You glanced through the paper, comparing the patterns and symbols. Karasu may’ve been proud, but this type of cipher was actually incredible common 

“Got it.” You looked up at him, only having stared at it for a few seconds 

Karasu’s jaw dropped “No you don’t- there’s no way you figured it out that quickly!”

You laughed “This is one of the most famous codes used in WWII, you know that right?”

“...”

You gave him an amused look, before reading his letter aloud to him “Dear [Y/N], I actually really like you too-”

“AHHIUSHEFLIUAGE;F- SHUT IT-” he stood up suddenly, embarrassed

You burst out laughing, “What’s wrong? Thought you were okay with me reading it in front of you?”

“YEA BUT NOT ALOUD-!!”

You continued to laugh, before gathering yourself as you read the letter while Karasu sat back down, burying his red face into his arms

You finished reading the letter with a smile, and tapped him on his head

He looked up at you, face still flushed, “So, whatcha say?” Karasu asked, barely louder than a whisper

“Sure, I’d love to” you responded, smiling

>Reo

“Reo, you should really try to focus more…. And i’m saying that-” Nagi commented. 

Reo had been spacing out for all of practice, and would occasionally groan or cry in embarrassment. He and Nagi were dropping off his love letter earlier that day, and you had caught them in the action. Reo froze up for a few seconds, as Nagi just watched, eventually having to drag him away and run

“ahHHHH NAGII IM SO STUPID” Reo cried, falling to his knees

“Yea I know, but seriously chill out…” 

“ :((( “

“...”

You were just about to grab your things from your locker to go home when you saw Reo sliding the envelope through the slits in the door. You just watched him, slightly shocked as he continued. 

Finally he stood up and turned around, making eye contact with you. 

Reo’s eyes shot open, his mouth slightly agape. He did NOT plan for you to see this- 

You both stood there for a second, before Nagi dragged Reo away, leaving you there to process what just happened.

You shook it off, and opened you locker, then the letter

“[Y/N], I love you, thank you so much for giving me a chance. I promise I’ll be the best man for you, would you like to join me for dinner?”

Despite the actual letter being pretty short, he had a whole speech on how much he loved you, prepared for when you two went out. He had also slipped a few $100 dollar bills in there, just for good measure ;)

Please go out with him, he’s gonna go emo if you don’t :( 

A/N: Im not sure if i should be putting pt2 in the title, but maybe it helps with navigation so ill try it

[narwhalandchill]

spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol

like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?

like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao

like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀

like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk

like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable

like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao

like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀

Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you

AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .

(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)

like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.

but then theres teucer.

And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All

Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????

yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....

like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.

like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up

hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭

A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap

[dianadragonfly]

So, I was thinking about different fandoms and the fics that I love. What makes a good, satisfying fan fic? I realize it has 100% to do with the canon.

Take BBC Sherlock. I struggle so much with AUs where their beginnings are different. Sherlock is an astronaut, assigned to work with scientist John. (This is an example, not a dig at any specific fic). I can't. I can't. I realize BBC Sherlock is also an AU from Doyle, but BBC Sherlock and John are so fucking tied to "A Study In Pink" and John handing his phone to Sherlock that everything else seems false. Fun premise, but not the Sherlock and John I know.

A satisfying Johnlock fan fic needs to change the ending of the BBC canon. To think of these two men, who love each other so much, just continuing their parallel existences, never becoming anything more than crime-fighting buds, is just. . . it doesn't fit. It doesn't fit the show. It doesn't fit the characters Moffit and Gatiss created, even if they decided to not make it happen (as a special 'fuck you' to their fans). It's heartbreaking.

My favorite fics are fixits -- many of them deal with the aftermath of Euros and Mary, or some do "canon intercepts" and deal with Seasons 3 and 4 differently. Still, anything but John and Sherlock raising Rosie together as partners/lovers/husbands in 221B with Mrs. Hudson downstairs feels like a lie. (Some canon intercepts write out Rosie completely.)

If I had to write sequels to BBC canon, I'd pick "Drawn to Stars" by @totallysilvergirl or "Never Turn Your Back on the Sea” by @discordantwords . There's a thousand other ones, but those ring the most true to me.

"Heartstopper" fics don't have a lot of room to mess with the ending. Anything other than Charlie and Nick happily growing old together is so far out of canon and out of character that it doesn't even seem like it's worth exploring. There are a handful of ones that have one character or the other dying, but mostly, we understand right away that Charlie and Nick are endgame. We are 100% aligned with canon and creator on this.

Anything that isn't true to this ending rings as false as anything that isn't true to Sherlock's beginning. Fun to read, but not our characters.

With Nick and Charlie being so young in canon, their beginnings are so much malleable. Sherlock and John are tied to that lab. Nick and Charlie? not so much. They meet in grammar school. They meet in University. They meet after a hot hookup at a club in their 20s. They meet after broken marriages to Imogen and Ben. They meet during Nick's rugby career or as fellow teachers. They meet at gyms, at animal rescues, at psychiatric hospitals. They are single parents, University professors, rock star drummers, hot shot authors and academics. Their beginning isn't fixed. But the end always is.

I have so many favorites but I just re-read "Lavender Fields" and I think it's a perfect Nick and Charlie meeting up in their 30s fics. There's a ton of University fics too.

I haven't read nearly as many fics from other fandoms, so I don't know their quirks. I'm finding that fandoms that don't have a m/m pairing are hard to find a lot of fics for. (That's a whole 'nother post). But other m/m fandoms seem to have canon-compliant extra scenes. (Wanna see Achilles and Patroclus get freaky in a tent somewhere? Here ya go. That being said, there's one about Achilles waiting for Patroclus in the Underworld that breaks. my. damn. heart.)

Anyways, I need to do a serious look-through of other fandoms to see how this plays out.

I should add the links here to the fics I mention, just because.

[dufferpuffer]

First of all, I need to express my love for you and how grateful I am for your deep understanding of Lupin and Snape's characters. You're the first person I see that loves them both while also acknowledging their flaws and not trying to sugarcoat Lupin's toxicity (again, thank you)

Secondly, it is because of your great comprehension towards them that I'd like to see your opinion on this. We don't talk enough about Lupin's shitty and completely uncalled for behaviour towards Snape during PoA (and just how well Snape handles it, because God knows most people would have snapped, and he had more reasons than anyone to do so, but only intervened when CHILDREN'S safety was compromised)

What do you think would've happened in a world where, instead of taking Lupin's bullying and mocking during PoA, he returns it just as smoothly and doesn't just let the man walk over him? What of an alternative universe where Snape just says "you know what? Fuck it, I'm a loser but you're no better" and despite still being terrified afraid of Lupin, he also resents him and subtly puts him back in his place every time he pulls the usual shit? (While also keeping his distance because he doesn't want that man anywhere near him)

Would have Lupin gotten angry? Would he get cold feet and keep the distance too because he can't handle Snape actually fighting back? Would this turn into a toxic asf enemies to lovers dynamic with all the passive-agressive exchanges, backhanded compliments and constant fight for dominance in the situation?

Seriously, love your blog 💕 Hope you're well and thriving

Thankyou for the love :') I love the boys, and without their complex layers of toxicity and trauma the boys just wouldn't be The Boys anymore. Lupin's softness is nothing without his sharp edges after all. Its been awhile since I read PoA. Its the next one i'm reading to my boyfriend. But this is a really interesting fic idea!!! Such a small change - but potential big consequences...? Remus is a coward, but in PoA he was spoiled with getting his own way - and things generally went really well for him. I flicked through some of the chapters where they interact, so this isn't perfect - but what if Snape did snap back every time Remus tried to press him...? He was told to keep the werewolf's secret - not to allow himself to be bullied again. ((This this turned into a looooong look into their dynamic. Oopsy.))

Remus Lupin and the Nasty Man who Wont Let Things be Easy for Him

Chapter 7,

Remus arrives ~fashionably late~ to class so he can surprise the kids: 'only bring your wands (no lame textbooks) for a practical.' He is confident, a little playful - dealing with Peeves effortlessly. (His father specialized in things like poltergeists and boggarts, after all.) The kids think he is cool! He already knows all their names! He is glowing with pride just to be there. So adorable I love him. He has 100% been bouncing on his heels with nerves and excitement to teach this lesson. There is no way he was ACTUALLY late - he just wanted to appear aloof.

He wants to be cool - and fun - and comforting - and safe: Why else have the first lesson be getting the kids to face the scariest thing they can imagine under HIS warm protection...? Albus is definitely his role model - they have the same manipulation tactics. Very different to Snapes 'get it right or else' lesson beforehand. He is safe. He is SO safe. He is The Safest Man. He's learned all their names already, isn't that nice of him?? Now he can learn all their fears, too - and he can soothe them!!! How well planned, Mr Lupin… Warm, soft, fluffy Mr. Lupin. So capable and so sweet… He could NEVER be a monster! Nobody will EVER suspect he is a monster...

As Professor Lupin came in and made to close the door behind him, Snape said, ‘Leave it open, Lupin. I’d rather not witness this.’ He got to his feet and strode past the class, his black robes billowing behind him. At the doorway he turned on his heel and said, ‘Possibly no one’s warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear.’ Neville went scarlet. Harry glared at Snape; it was bad enough that he bullied Neville in his own classes, let alone doing it in front of other teachers. Professor Lupin had raised his eyebrows. ‘I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first stage of the operation,’ he said, ‘and I am sure he will perform it admirably.’ Neville’s face went, if possible, even redder. Snape’s lip curled, but he left, shutting the door with a snap.

Though Snape was still being nasty about the previous lesson - this was a HELPFUL comment more than it was a jeer at Neville. He almost didn't say anything at all - but turned on his heel at the last second. He knows Remus was irresponsible with danger in his youth and is new to teaching. So he gives him a tip: 'Longbottom is difficult to manage. Granger is capable and trustworthy. Pair them together if you must.'

...Honestly he was basically setting Lupin up to look good. Anything Remus said would have seemed lovely, even a terse "Yes, well, thankyou Professor. We will see about that." ...But Lupin politely and confidently spat back. Always politely. He wasn't rude to Snape, but the meaning was clear: 'Back off, Severus. I decide what my students can handle.'

Snape's lip curled. (That's his version of a sneering little smile) 'Oh yeah? Good luck with that.' The amount of body language these men talk through, both masters of hiding their intentions and emotions with masks - they fence with words and actions.

How could Snape snap back without seeming like he was lashing out...? Remus bullies by asserting dominance in a way that makes others seem like they're being mean to gentle widdle Wupin if they retaliate, or are being silly if they defend themselves. Remus is desperate for his students to have confidence in him. To think of him as their sweet savior. To soothe his worries of posing a danger to them, of being rejected, of being suspected…

Snape’s lip curled. "…Then I wish you good luck, Mr. Wolf." he drawled as he left, shutting the door with a snap.

…Maybe that treads the line of what he is allowed to say. Remus would scramble to Dumbledore's office in a panic, to get him to warn Severus not to play silly games... but he would have to do that later, in secret - away from the kids. In the immediate - he would stammer to remind them: "Of course, Lupin means 'Wolf' in French… Snape is just making a little joke!" But god, what a way to knock him off-balance-!

I don't think it will change how the lesson goes. If anything, Lupin will be more keen to push Neville to humiliate Snape via his Boggart. Especially knowing he will soon be seeing Snape's lip curl in triumph as he gets told off by Dumbledore - because Remus snitched. How humiliating, getting a 'teacher' involved. (They're little boys at heart.) There is nothing Snape likes more than humiliating a bully. Every time 'Boggart' is mentioned Snape has the sweet memory of seeing Lupin look so pathetic in-front of Dumbledore, his role model. Every time a kid calls him 'Mr Wolf' as a joke... Remus will have to pretend he 'doesn't mind much', but gently insist they use his real name, please. He will know to tread carefully around Severus.

Chapter 8,

Harry is at a low point emotionally. He is having a good chat with Lupin, who seems to understand him better than other teachers. Though, Lupin is still speaking vaguely, making allusions - much like Dumbledore.

'Sit down,’ said Lupin, taking the lid off a dusty tin. ‘I’ve only got teabags, I’m afraid – but I daresay you’ve had enough of tea leaves?’ Harry looked at him. Lupin’s eyes were twinkling. ‘How did you know about that?’ Harry asked.

If it didn't say 'Lupin' you'd 100% believe Albus said that - complete with twinkling eyes and an awestruck Harry. ((This is making me wanna do a whole thing comparing how Albus and Remus act)) Anyway - In this cozy atmosphere, where Remus is enjoying being the object of Harry's awe, and not telling him he was his parents' close friend...

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. ‘Come in,’ called Lupin. The door opened, and in came Snape. He was carrying a goblet, which was smoking faintly, and stopped at the sight of Harry, his black eyes narrowing. ‘Ah, Severus,’ said Lupin, smiling. ‘Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?’ Snape set the smoking goblet down, his eyes wandering between Harry and Lupin. ‘I was just showing Harry my Grindylow,’ said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank. ‘Fascinating,’ said Snape, without looking at it. ‘You should drink that directly, Lupin.’ ‘Yes, yes, I will,’ said Lupin. ‘I made an entire cauldronful,’ Snape continued. ‘If you need more.’ ‘I should probably take some again tomorrow. Thanks very much, Severus.’ ‘Not at all,’ said Snape, but there was a look in his eye Harry didn’t like. He backed out of the room, unsmiling and watchful. Harry looked curiously at the goblet. Lupin smiled.

Aka. Severus walks into the beasts den and finds a pup. Have you ever seen Severus act so polite? So appeasing? So... dare I say... submissive? Even Harry knew something was up - worried Snape was acting meek because he was trying to POISON Remus. (Only in his dreams.)

And Remus-! All smiles! Harry is looking into the goblet? SMILE! 'I was showing HARRY, who is here in my office with us RIGHT NOW, my Grindylow! ...Oh, 'my' potion? Yes, yes... how kind. Lovely. Marvelous. Please and Thankyou and GET OUT.' Antsy. On edge. Calm twinkling eyes are now jaw-clenching smiles.

Lupin drained the goblet and pulled a face. ‘Disgusting,’ he said. ‘Well, Harry, I’d better get back to work. I’ll see you at the feast later.’

'How lovely Severus is to brew this innocent potion! I shall drink it now! Teehee, its a bit yucky~ Anyway Harry YOU SHOULD LEAVE.'

He just made the boy some tea, ready to have a heart-to-heart... and because Severus came in with his wolfsbane: screaming internally. On any other day, with any other person, Severus would have struck his pitchfork right into his chest and turned him over like hay. They are both defensive here. Cats circling each-other. Severus is SO spooked due to it being close to the Full Moon, entering a private room with Remus - and now having to speak carefully because The Lad is there - he just allows Remus to be the boss 'Yes, sir - on the desk? Of course...' He just wants to leave. No waxing gibbous werewolf temper. Adios.

...What about a Severus that see's Remus' fear of not being in control of the information in the room - of having Harry ask questions? How about he uses his own discomfort to fuel being a little bugger?

‘Come in,’ called Lupin. The door opened, and in came Snape. He was carrying a goblet, which was smoking faintly, and stopped at the sight of Harry, his black eyes narrowing. ‘Ah, Severus,’ said Lupin, smiling. ‘Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?’ Snape walked up to desk, his eyes curiously wandering between Harry and Lupin. ‘I was just showing Harry my Grindylow,’ said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank. 'Right here would be marvelous.' He patted the the edge of the desk furthest from Harry with his fingertips. ‘...I rather think you should drink it now.’ said Snape, ignoring it completely. ‘Your little chat can wait till you recover, surely.’ ‘Yes, yes, I will-’ Lupin seemed a little flustered. His eyes darted to Harry's, and for a moment he thought he could see fear. Harry's stomach dropped a little as he peered curiously at the goblet. ‘I made an entire cauldronful,’ Snape continued. ‘Since you will be needing more than this for your... particular condition-’ ‘Yes, Thankyou, Severus.' Lupin spoke firmer now, cutting him off. Harry had never seen his gaze look so sharp. 'I'll take more tomorrow, then.’ There was an odd standoff between them. Snape's head tilted as he opened his hand for the goblet, but kept his distance. The edge of Lupin's smile strained for a moment before he tipped the strange, steaming brew back and started to drink. Harry had a mad urge to knock the goblet out of his hands. ‘Ugh... Pity sugar makes it useless...’ he almost choked taking one last hurried gulp, leaning to hand the smoking goblet over. ‘Indeed. A pity.’ said Snape, lip curling into a smug hook. There was a look in his eye Harry didn’t like. 'Potter - I highly recommend you leave the Professor alone now to rest.' He turned sharply, cloak flowing behind him as he left. The smoke left a funny smell in his wake. Harry looked to Lupin. There was so much to say he was tongue tied! Does he warn him that Snape wants his job? Does he ask about the potion? A part of him even wanted to comfort his teacher. Adults didn't usually have this much trouble with Snape... ‘Well, Harry, he is right - I’ve been feeling a bit off-colour recently. I’ll see you at the feast later.’ Lupin stood quickly, gesturing him to leave. ‘...Right,’ said Harry, putting his empty teacup down.

I think, if anything, Harry being there would have made Severus bolder. Remus, at the end of the day, can't bring himself to start fights. To refuse to drink the potion would make him look like a child. Rather than seeming like he has a foot up on Snape he now seems a little... pathetic. Infront of the boy he wanted to impress.

Severus is cornering Remus to drain his confidence. He isn't threatening to out him - but he is speaking as if he might, keeping Remus on his toes while staying completely innocent. He is playing Remus' game against him, and is better at it. He has the advantage of far less to hide - and far less to prove.

Chapter 14,

This is the one where Remus and Snape have their grand sparring match about the Marauders Map, but I wanted to add something to what Snape says to Harry beforehand:

‘What did you say to me, Potter?’ ‘I told you to shut up about my dad!’ Harry yelled. ‘I know the truth, all right? He saved your life! Dumbledore told me! You wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for my dad!’ Snape’s sallow skin had gone the colour of sour milk. ‘And did the Headmaster tell you the circumstances in which your father saved my life?’ he whispered. ‘Or did he consider the details too unpleasant for precious Potter’s delicate ears?’ Harry bit his lip. He didn’t know what had happened and didn’t want to admit it – but Snape seemed to have guessed the truth. ‘I would hate you to run away with a false idea of your father, Potter,’ he said, a terrible grin twisting his face. ‘Have you been imagining some act of glorious heroism? Then let me correct you – your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn’t got cold feet at the last moment. There was nothing brave about what he did. He was saving his own skin as much as mine. Had their joke succeeded, he would have been expelled from Hogwarts.’ Snape’s uneven, yellowish teeth were bared.

I think Snape would actually be surprised that Lupin hadn't told Harry anything about his father. That HE had told him more about James than ANYONE else had bothered to! He would have expected Harry would now know all sorts of stories where they humiliated him... Unless maybe that was part of a deal? He doesn't talk about werewolves - Remus doesn't talk about his past...? Regardless - I don't think Snape would think it too revealing to say this:

'I suppose your new favourite teacher's painted a very different image of your father. All the better to win your precious trust.'

I think he would be confused that Harry was confused - before getting him to turn his pockets out. It would plant a seed of doubt in Harry's mind: Lupin was keeping BIG things from him.

He strode across to his fire, seized a fistful of glittering powder from a jar on the fireplace, and threw it into the flames. ‘Lupin!’ Snape called into the fire. ‘I want a word!’ Utterly bewildered, Harry stared at the fire. A large shape had appeared in it, revolving very fast. Seconds later, Professor Lupin was clambering out of the fireplace, brushing ash off his shabby robes. ‘You called, Severus?’ said Lupin mildly. ‘I certainly did,’ said Snape, his face contorted with fury as he strode back to his desk. ‘I have just asked Potter to empty his pockets. He was carrying this.’ Snape pointed at the parchment, on which the words of Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were still shining. An odd, closed expression appeared on Lupin’s face. ‘Well?’ said Snape. Lupin continued to stare at the map. Harry had the impression that Lupin was doing some very quick thinking. ‘Well?’ said Snape again. ‘This parchment is plainly full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, Lupin. Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?’ Lupin looked up and, by the merest half glance in Harry’s direction, warned him not to interrupt.

First of all: "A large shape had appeared in it, revolving very fast." Excuse me? 'Revolving very fast?' What direction?? That's fucking hilarious

Severus knows that Lupin made this parchment. He recognized the nicknames. Snape is better with Dark Magic than Lupin, Harry especially suspects Snape is keen on Dark Magic - it is ridiculous to call Lupin there to inspect the map, and everyone knows it. Snape wants to corner Lupin (for once) and get him to slip up about letting Black into the castle. Remus, of course, puts on another mask so he doesn't react to anything - and shoots Harry an 'I've got this' glance. Which is all very well and good for a confident Remus that's had Severus under his heel all year... But OUR Severus? The Severus that's made Remus look (and feel) wimpy? ...I think they're both going to get a shock.

‘Full of Dark Magic?’ he repeated mildly. ‘Do you really think so, Severus? It looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment that insults anybody who tries to read it. Childish, but surely not dangerous? I imagine Harry got it from a joke-shop –’ ‘Indeed?’ said Snape. His jaw had gone rigid with anger. ‘You think a joke-shop could supply him with such a thing? You don’t think it more likely that he got it directly from the manufacturers?’ Harry didn’t understand what Snape was talking about. Nor, apparently, did Lupin. ‘You mean, from Mr Wormtail or one of these people?’ he said. ‘Harry, do you know any of these men?’ ‘No,’ said Harry quickly. ‘You see, Severus?’ said Lupin, turning back to Snape. ‘It looks like a Zonko product to me –’ Right on cue, Ron came bursting into the office. He was completely out of breath, and stopped just short of Snape’s desk, clutching the stitch in his chest and trying to speak. ‘I – gave – Harry – that – stuff,’ he choked. ‘Bought – it – in Zonko’s – ages – ago …’ ‘Well!’ said Lupin, clapping his hands together and looking around cheerfully. ‘That seems to clear that up! Severus, I’ll take this back, shall I?’ He folded the map and tucked it inside his robes. ‘Harry, Ron, come with me, I need a word about my vampire essay. Excuse us, Severus.’

To Harry - Lupin didn't seem to know what Snape was talking about. He is stunned as the teachers have their little battle - as Severus tries not to say too much, and Remus lies through his teeth about things he doesn't need to lie about. His name is written on it. Dumbledore would know who 'Moony' is. Given the chance to defend Lupin, Harry and the Weasleys would come clean on how they got it. But OUR Harry? He knows Lupin is keeping secrets. He cuts off conversations when he feels stressed, he stammers excuses for odd behaviour - and now Snape has suggested he knew James more intimately than just 'being friends at Hogwarts' - yet has told him nothing of note. He might be a little protective of Lupin, but he has never trusted any adult fully... and he is starting to smell the lies.

‘You mean, from Mr Wormtail or one of these people?’ he said. ‘Harry, do you know any of these men?’ ‘No,’ said Harry quickly. ‘You see, Severus?’ said Lupin, turning back to Snape. ‘It looks like a Zonko product to me –’ 'But you do, right? Professor?' Harry cut him off. The silence was palpable. Remus' soft smile was missing at he stared back, wide-eyed. Snape was just as speechless. He realized, with a sickening drop in his stomach, he had essentially just come to Snape's defense. Before anyone could say anything more, Ron came bursting into the office. He was completely out of breath, and stopped just short of Snape’s desk, clutching the stitch in his chest and trying to speak.

Harry does what Severus has done all year: Snapped back at Remus' attempts at bullshitting. It's Remus' fear: his student is suspicious of him. Severus is just plain confused. He never thought James Potter's son would jump in to take his side on anything... he hasn't had anyone on his side all year, either. Not that thats unusual. Is this history repeating? A Potter defending Severus from Remus...? Nah. Not quite. (Not posting the original quote - because it's long. Remus says he met the mapmakers, and that they would have wanted to lure Harry out - but otherwise just tells him off like a good little teacher - leaving Harry feeling guilty.)

Harry didn’t dare look at Snape as they left his office. He, Ron and Lupin walked all the way back into the Entrance Hall before speaking. Then Harry turned to Lupin. ‘So you do know them.’ Harry asked directly. 'That's why Snape called for you. Your name is on it.' Lupin looked pained for a moment, like he was sucking on a sherbert lemon. ‘That is correct.’ said Lupin shortly. He glanced around the empty Entrance Hall and lowered his voice. ‘I helped make the map. It was a long time ago. Last I knew of its whereabouts it was confiscated by Mr Filch.’ he said not looking any less pained about having to say it. Ron looked amazed, but Harry's expression hardened as Lupin continued. ‘I don’t want to know how it fell into your possession. I am, however, astounded that you didn’t hand it in. Particularly after what happened the last time a student left information about the castle lying around.’ Harry was too keen for explanations to let him continue. ‘Why did you lie?’ Harry asked sharply. 'If Snape knows one of the names was you, why lie about it?' ‘Because …’ Lupin hesitated, for longer than was comfortable. ‘because... I didn't want you thinking I was suspicious.' Lupin smiled, chuckling slightly as he continued. 'Theres a dangerous man about, Harry! One who wants to lure you out of school-’ ‘One of your friends.’ said Harry, correcting him - and getting more indignant. 'Is his name on the map too? What about my father?' ‘...You're quite sharp, aren't you.’ he said slowly, his smile falling as he looked at Harry more seriously than ever before. 'Yes, they are. It was a long time ago, as I said.' 'Give it back.' Harry snapped, reaching for the map - but Lupin snatched it away. 'I can’t let you have it back, Harry.' Harry's jaw stiffened. Ron looked almost disgusted. 'You said his dad's, yeah? He has a right to it!' ‘I have a right to it too, as one of its makers!' Lupin stopped himself, as if catching that he sounded ridiculously petty. '...I covered for you, Harry - at risk to myself. You can't expect me to do it again. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the Dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them – gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks.’ He walked away quickly, leaving no room for a response. Harry felt far worse than he had at any point in Snape’s office. 'Sounds more like he was covering for himself...' Ron mumbled, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder.

I wanted a Harry hurt by Remus' lies. Harry never quite see's his teachers bad qualities while he is at school - because he is only 13. But if Snape being a snappy little bugger has one consequence: It's eroding Remus' projection of a confident man without secrets. Harry can sometimes ignore things he isn't directly interested in, but he is interested in both Remus and Snape. He wouldn't miss that. With some added defensive Ron, because Ron is a good lad.

There are many ways to spin this to be more overt, I took a very soft-handed approach that hasn't ended up changing too much. Baseline, I think: Remus would bend the knee to Severus more often than not. His one true goal is to look good - and Severus' goal is to not let him do that. Snape is BETTER at these games than Remus is. Remus has Dumbledore on his side to stop Snape from getting too loose-lipped, but we all know Snape is clever, witty, petty and vindictive. He finds ways around the rules and does his best to get information to the children that will keep them safe. The only thing holding him back is a slight fear of Lupin. If Remus were to confront Snape, beyond dragging him into a Dumbledore meeting, it would be a 'pretending to be nice, full of backhanded-compliments and cheeky remarks' argument in private. In Snapes office, so Remus can leave rather than have to demand Snape leaves. Because the moment Snape actually becomes angry he would leave - with one last biting remark, so he can feel like he had the upper hand.

....Is this like.... what you wanted? I sorta fell off the deep end... I feel like I've been on some sort of bender...

[wallterwall]

POSTAL

(2007)

By Uwe Boll

MAN:

Tower two.

Stand by.

[ speaks indistinctly ]

That's affirmative.

Congratulations, Nabi.

We are at the doorstep

of our martyrdom.

Praise Allah.

Praise him!

Soon we will be greeted

by Allah, the one true god,

and by the cheers

of our forefathers

and by 99 perfect virgins

who will worship us

for all eternity!

I thought it was 100.

What's that?

they promised me 100.

what's the difference?

If they're telling you one thing

and they're telling me another,

maybe they don't know

for sure.

Maybe.

Maybe the exact number

of virgins is not precise.

I mean, if it's in the 90s,

I can live with that.

Or 75.

Hey, I'm not greedy,

but what if it's 10?

Well...

What if it's 10, but we have

to split them between us?

Then you'll have

five more virgins

than you have right now,

right?

We're talking

about eternity here!

How long will five virgins

last you -- maybe a month?

They're not going to be virgins

for long, right?

Look, would it make

you feel better

if we called the big guy?

Yes.

Take the stick.

- Okay.

It's ringing.

Osama, yes, it's Asif.

No, we're on it.

It was fine, but security

takes forever, you know?

What are you going to do?

Anyway, look,

Nabi has a question.

Will you talk to him?

No!

[ mutters indistinctly ]

You do it!

Hello!

Yes.

Uh, it's about the virgins.

Really?

It was 100 when I signed up.

[ sighs ]

He said

it's not that many anymore.

Too many martyrs

in the first go-around.

You've got to be kidding me.

Does he know where we are here?

Give me the phone.

Take the stick.

Osama, it's Asif.

Right now, can you tell me

the number, absolutely,

that you can guarantee

Nabi and myself,

as far

as virgins are concerned?

[ pounding on door, indistinct talking ]

No, that's fine.

MAN:

Do it!

Come on, man!

He can't guarantee

more than 20.

MAN #2:

Open the goddamn door,

you bastards!

MAN #3:

We're gonna f***ing

kill you, you motherf***er!

MAN #4:

Lying pieces of sh*t!

MAN #5:

Open the door!

MAN #6:

- Open this f***er!

Screw this, right?

I'm glad you said it first.

Okay, get on the intercom

to the passengers.

We are changing course

for the Bahamas.

Bahamas!

Aah!

[ indistinct shouting ]

We're going to the Bahamas!

[ indistinct shouting ]

Aah!

[ whistling ]

[ gunshots ]

MAN:

...Has again expanded

the definition of marriage,

this time to include any union

between a man and a woman,

a man and a man,

a woman and a woman,

a man and a collie,

or a woman, a polish sausage,

and a long weekend.

The standoff with Mr. Cruise

Has now stretched

into its eighth day.

Cruise continues to insist

that police are violating

his parental

and religious freedoms,

citing human sacrifice

as essential...

Today on

"Good Morning Paradise,"

mayoral candidate Eugene Wells

joins us to talk about

the new political landscape,

and the newest toy craze

of the year --

Krotchy dolls.

Stay tuned. It's gonna be

a super-dupe show.

Turn down that f***ing TV!

I can't hear my show.

[ indistinct shouting on TV ]

Yeah,

nothing's good on anyway.

Just, uh, preparing

for my interview.

Fight!

Aw, you fight like a p*ssy.

No one's gonna hire

your sorry ass.

Why don't you go suck up

to your Uncle Dave already?

[ gagging ]

God damn it!

What the hell

is going on out there?!

Ugh.

Nothing.

Make sure you pick up

that welfare check!

Kiss, kiss,

sweetie pie...

[ speaks indistinctly ]

[ squishing ]

Come on!

Come on!

No.

Bad boy.

Bad boy.

I told you --

no poopies in our yard.

No poopies in this yard.

You only poop in

the next-door neighbor's yard.

[ gunshots pinging ]

Feces in the yard.

[ sighs ]

That's a violation

of trailer-park

ordinance number 101-40.

Stop eating the poop.

I'll add that to the list.

Th-the list?

The list. Great. The list.

W-what else?

What else

you got on the list?

Ordinance number 143-11.

Yesterday around lunchtime.

Now, I don't care what you two

do in your own bedroom,

but ordinance number 143-11

says if I hear your lewd

lovemaking after 10:00 a.M.,

I get to file a grievance

against your sorry ass,

which is

exactly what I'm gonna do!

Oh. Oh.

- Oh, okay.

Well, at least I wasn't boning

my sister, you inbred hick.

Oh, for your information,

hillbilly,

I wasn't even here

yesterday afternoon.

[ laughs ]

[ sighs ]

I hate this town.

Matt!

- Whatever!

This f***ing sucks.

And NASA,

The National Aeronautics

and Space Administration,

does not exist.

All the space missions

that we've heard about

since we were little kids

in school --

creations of Hollywood.

We did not land on the moon.

There is no John Glenn.

Well, there's a John Glenn

who's a Senator...

Hey, hello?

You, professor.

What is this,

a reading library?

Yeah, yeah.

Two minutes, buddy.

Ah, no "two minutes" now.

You buy now, or bye-bye.

Bye-dee now now.

Ah, go on, bye-bye.

Go on.

Bye-bye.

You bye-bye.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

- Hey.

Don't let the door

hit you on the way out.

Daddy, Mohammed says he needs

to talk to you again.

What about?

What else?

Okay, so, what did she say

about me exactly?

That slut.

# killer, yeah,

and rhyme till I die #

# with an AK-47

from side to side #

# jihad killers #

# man, it's hot in here #

# you just to stake that

out of this atmosphere #

# jihad killers #

My brother.

Any police come around today?

Anything suspicious?

No, nothing, Mohammed.

Trust me...

you are safely hidden here

for as long as you want.

Well, that may not

be for much longer.

Oh?

We have news

from Afghanistan.

News? Oh.

It is all coming together.

The shipment

left three days ago.

Oh.

Praise Allah.

When, uh, will be it here?

Tomorrow!

The time has come for us

to place our swords

to the genitals

of the infidels.

[ exhales deeply ]

Whoo-hoo!

[ chuckles nervously ]

[ groans lightly ]

[ keys clacking ]

Gah.

I see

you noticed the heads --

motivational.

Those are

every f***ing bastard

that I had to climb over

to get this job.

Jesus.

[ laughs ]

Foul.

They're paper-mache.

They're --

he thought they were real.

[ chuckles ]

Sit down.

Let's get started.

So, I hope you don't mi--

I hope you don't mind

the recording.

Uh, we're gonna use it

as training later.

Ready?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

It's good.

What the f*** is wrong

with you?

It's, uh --

the chair is actually --

All right,

we're on a time clock,

So let's get started,

shall we?

Yes, sir.

Good.

Well...

Um, so, I'm here

for the job, sir.

Right.

You're a factory worker.

I was.

I was a factory worker, but

the factory got closed down,

so I got laid off, and --

I've interviewed 15 other people

for this job.

What makes you think

you're better than them?

Well, I don't know

if I am better than them.

Well, god damn it, pal.

If you want this job, you better

reach out and grab it.

You better put

those f***ing heads on the wall.

You know what? F*** it.

Let's go to the questions.

What is

your greatest strength?

Um...

I'm a really good team player.

Wrong.

[ keys clacking ]

What is

your biggest weakness?

Um, I'd say I work too hard.

Wrong.

How would you move a

mountain using only a spoon?

A spoon?

If you were in a box,

how would you think outside it?

I bought all these goddamn English CDs

For you

to say f***ing "glass"?

It's "glasses."

You f***ing foreigners

come over here,

and you f*** up

the language,

and this b*tch

is f***ing up the traffic!

Come down, Greg.

You f***ing calm down!

This flat-ass b*tch

comes over here,

she takes over

the convenience stores,

and they eat up

all our goddamn dogs!

Go and help her.

Come on.

WOMAN:

What's the holdup?!

You're right.

I'm trippin'.

I'll just get out of the car

and make sure she's doing okay.

She's an old lady.

[ sighs ]

I feel bad now.

[ woman shouts indistinctly ]

Hi.

The light is green.

[ speaking native language ]

The light is green.

You could have

went through the light.

The light turned gr--

what did you say?

[ speaking native language ]

What'd you say, b*tch?

Aah!

Why don't you stir-fry that?

[ man laughing ]

WOMAN:

Holy f***!

MAN:

Damn!

Yeah, that'll get her moving!

Man.

What happened over there?

B*tch called me n*gger.

[ indistinct conversations ]

Ooh.

Whoa-ho-ho!

Did you see that?

Yeah.

[ chuckles ]

One date with me,

she'll look like she's been hit

with a mayonnaise truck.

[ both laugh ]

That's right, Mr. Stickum.

[ both laugh ]

Yeah, I hope she comes back.

You got to hold it.

[ whimpers ]

Thank you.

Okay.

All set?

- Yes.

What do you got?

- I will have a medium...

[ inhales sharply ]

[ squeaking ]

No, you know what?

I'm gonna have a large.

I'll have a large mocha.

Okay.

No.

No, you know what?

Maybe a -- maybe a vanilla.

Okay.

W-w-what do you think

goes better with bagels?

Unh!

You had 10 minutes

to make up your f***ing mind!

What is it with you people?

Can somebody please tell me?

I mean, we sell coffee.

That's it, nothing else.

You're not buying a car,

I mean, right?

Make a f***ing decision, huh?

How about it?

I know.

Here we go.

You're gonna have

a regular coffee.

Careful -- the beverage you're

about to enjoy is extremely hot.

Next?

Uh...

What?

I, um --

Two lattes,

no foam, please.

[ rock music plays ]

I can't believe

this is the first time

you've ever been here.

Huh.

I mean, all these f***ing idiots

calling me Uncle Dave,

And here I am --

I actually am your Uncle Dave.

[ chuckles ]

Yeah.

So, when was the last time

I saw you?

The bachelor party,

right before the wedding night.

Oh, f***, yeah, right.

That was fun.

I wonder

if that donkey survived.

[ inhales deeply ]

Well, what do you think

of the place?

Ah, it's -- it's amazing.

Yeah. I kind of owe it

all to you, you know?

Me?

Well, we always talked

about running a con like this, right?

- Yeah.

[ why did you have to send like seven of these ]

[byfulcrums]

*shows up twp weeks late without Starbucks*

I would love to hear why the Lantern Corps and the Jedi would hate each other.

showing up late w/o starbucks is basically my life history lol

idk that much about gl, i'm still reading the comics, so what i say might not be 100% accurate!!

an important difference between the jedi and the corps, is that one of them has control, and the other doesn't. the jedi are all about peace, the guardians are the ones who care about control

the guardians are basically in charge of everything. almost everything. they're the all powerful and mighty ancient ones who created the corps to keep the order in the galaxy (and lowkey control it). they care about themselves more than anything. when a gl doesn't act the way they want them to, they kick them out. as hal pointed out in emerald dawn 2 --- the main difference between sinestro and the guardians is the extremes they go to. sinestro forced his planet to revere him, but the guardians did that too, so it's a little hypocrital of them to kick him out, right?

well. the guardians might be controlling, but at least they don't force the ones below them to chant their names everytime they show up!! right...?

anyway!!

the jedi are not in control. they are peacekeepers forced to fight a war. they care about the universe being in peace (can you really blame them for that, if they can literally feel the galaxy's pain at all times?), not about controlling them. they're the ones being oppressed, in this case. sure, they're not perfect and they mess up a LOT (see hardeen and ahsoka's trial), but the good jedi (jedi that aren't like anakin specifically) are more good than they are bad. when a jedi doesn't act the way the council wants them to, they merely show their disapproval, and maybe remove them from the battlefield if it happens during the war and the-one-they-don't-like's actions lead to others getting hurt

the guardians left oa when it was attacked and basically left the lanterns to fend off for themselves. the jedi mostly, only, retreat when it's clear that they can't win the current battle and they need to plan a counter attack. the jedi are also not that good at war and strategy, because they were never meant to fight a war in the first place

the jedi have shown "resentment" towards the ones "in control", like palpatine and the senate. they can tell that being in control of everything is quite fucking stupid, and that the goverment's need for control is only harmful for everyone else. however, they cannot do anything, because its the goddamn goverment and they can't just go and become criminals

besides, there was a war happening. so, more important things

(also,,,,, ik that in the ot they overthrow the goverment. but there is a very clear difference between a corrupt goverment and a dictatorship. the republic wasn't good, but the empire was worse, and no one doing anything about it led to billions of people dying)

and!! their views on emotion!!!!

the jedi are meant to be in control of their emotions. this does not mean they're not allowed to feel them. the thing is,, that one badly controlled, strong emotion can lead to a jedi turning dark, and one jedi-turned-dark can quite literally destroy the entire order, as we have seen with mr skywalker over there

it's hard, yes, and often unfair, but if the jedi aren't taking care of their emotions and how they feel + react to them at all times, many people may die

"no, we don't want ppl to not feel emotion we just want them to not kill over them"

they have amazing power. if one of them goes evil, it all goes to shit. we have seen that many, many times

the guardians tell their gls to just, straight up not feel and use their logical thinking in every situation. feelings are important too!!! the jedi recognize this!!!!! but the guardians want their gls to be soldiers, not people, just robots that do their bidding without second thoughts

there is also the cult mindset of the corps VS the way being a jedi means having a very, very big family. ppl are allowed, and sometimes even encouraged,, to leave the jedi. they let dooku hang out post-resigning b4 he became a sith lord!!

the guardians, meanwhile, see leaving as betraying. i think there isn't anything else i should add for this, it's pretty obvious how bad it is

basically what i'm saying is that the guardians are super controlling and all, while the jedi just want to leave in peace

they wouldn't hate each other, but their morals and ideals are wildly different, so their opinions and actions would often clash

bonus: anakin and hal, and luke and kyle. it all depends on how and when they meet, because if their first impressions on each other suck, they Will Not Get Along. the parallels, though.....

[samasmith23]

The dualistic rivalry between Wolverine & Mystique, as portrayed by Jason Aaron

While the majority of X-Men fans have listed Sabretooth (aka, Victor Creed) as the perfect rival for Wolverine (aka, Logan), I've personally always considered Mystique (aka, Raven Darkhölme) to be a far superior dualistic foil to the fan-favorite Canadian berserker-rage mutant.

My fondness for the rivalry between Logan and the blue-skinned shape-shifter can be primarily attributed to the 2008 storyline Wolverine: Get Mystique by writer Jason Aaron & artist Ron Garney, published across Wolverine (2003) #62-65. In this arc, Wolverine is, determined to get revenge on Mystique after she betrayed the X-Men to Mr. Sinister during the Messiah CompleX crossover event (Mystique had briefly become a member of the X-Men before betraying them), tracking Raven down to the Middle East where the two engage in a deadly game of cat-&-mouse pursuit.

What elevates Get Mystique beyond a standard chase story is that Aaron uses the premise to intricately explore parallels between the two characters that had not yet been explored by previous writers. Throughout the 1980s-2000s, it was heavily implied that Logan & Raven had known each other for a long time and might have even been romantically involved at one point, which does make sense since the two are both over 100 years old. This past connection between the two characters is discussed in an interview with Aaron from Marvel Spotlight: Wolverine, in which the author stated that he "played off of what had been hinted at or mentioned before that... [giving] them a real love/hate relationship."

Subsequently, Aaron frames the present-day chase & rivalry between Logan & Raven throughout Get Mystique in juxtaposition to a series of flashbacks showcasing the two characters' first encounter with each other back in the 1920s. Specifically, it is revealed that Logan & Raven seemingly met each other by sheer coincidence when they were both scheduled to be executed by a firing squad in Mexico. The two escaped execution, however, with Raven offering Logan to join her gang of two-bit grifters up in Kansas City where he would serve as their muscle and protection.

During these flashbacks, Aaron repeatedly emphasizes Logan's reluctance towards the idea of settling down, rejecting Raven's offer of the prospect of a found-family through her criminal gang. Similar to Raven, Logan's mistrust is derived from his status as both a mutant and a societal outcast, believing that trusting other people inevitably results in death and betrayal. The uneven partnership between Logan & Raven soon comes to a head when the latter's gang attempts to rob a high-security Federal Reserve bank, with Raven suddenly fleeing during the middle of the heist due to having allegedly sold out her gang to the police, who subsequently gun them all down. When the police surround Logan, however, it is revealed in a dramatic that he was actually the one who sold out the gang instead of Raven. Essentially, Logan concluded that Raven had been lying to and manipulating him the whole time, even though his only evidence to support this was the fact that Raven wasn't bribing the cops like she originally told him.

Although it's heavily implied that Raven was planning to eventually discard Logan after successfully manipulating him for her own ends, Aaron leaves the question of whether or not she was deliberately ambiguous as to be left to the reader's interpretation. This ambiguity effectively serves to establish a common ground between Wolverine & Mystique as rivals, demonstrating how the two characters are eerie reflections of each other from a morality perspective.

The flashbacks to Logan & Raven’s first encounter during the 1920s are juxtaposed against the two’ present-day chase in the Middle East, wherein Wolverine has taken Mystique’s most recent betrayal of the X-Men on a personal level since he views the team as both a family and a chance to atone for his past sins. As Wolverine & Mystique engage in their deadly game of cat-&-mouse, Aaron further establishes the dualistic relationship between the two. Both characters are mutants who have lived longer life spans due to their healing factors and have learned not to trust others through their experiences, often ending in betrayal or death. Despite these parallels, however, Aaron simultaneously emphasizes how Wolverine & Mystique are also very different from each other. While Logan acknowledges that he is flawed, he attempts to retreat from his inner demons, finding sanctuary with superhero teams like the X-Men since he feels that their cause allows him to become something better than himself. Conversely, Raven does not deny and even openly embraces her sinister nature, utilizing her shapeshifting abilities to manipulate, deceive, and murder others to survive and fulfill her own agendas.

The parallels between the two characters are made further apparent when Wolverine accuses Mystique of cowardice due to her repeatedly hiding behind & sacrificing the lives of innocent civilians simply to avoid a confrontation. These words deeply anger Mystique since she views Wolverine as a hypocrite who is too afraid to admit and come to terms with his past sins. This results in the chase culminating with Mystique stealing a U.S. military truck and deciding to fight Wolverine to the death in the Syrian Desert, completely naked (albeit appropriately shadowed).

On a surface level, Mystique stripping off her classic costume via shape-shifting leans into both fan service and duplicitous femme fatale tropes, as well as emulates the character's then-recent portrayal by supermodel & actress Rebecca Romijn in the live-action X-Men film trilogy. From a characterization and thematic perspective, however, Raven's decision to fight naked conveys the mutant terrorist's unashamed resolve & confidence. Despite being a shape-shifter who utilizes her powers to deceive others, Mystique is ironically honest & straightforward in her actions. She finds a sense of liberating power through her refusal to hide who and what she is, effectively accepting her status as the villain. This conviction is evident in Mystique’s words as she disrobes, stating to herself that Logan “doesn’t have the guts to face up to who he really is,” whereas she’s “not ashamed of anything [she’s] ever done. And [she’s] certainly got nothing to hide.”

Additionally, Raven's characterization in the Get Mystique arc heavily draws inspiration from her aforementioned live-action film counterpart. Essentially, Rebbeca Romjin's portrayal of Mystique as being in a constant state of undress highlights the mutant terrorist's unashamed pride in her identity & actions. This idea of Romjin's Mystique finding power through her sexually provocative appearance is supported by Nimona and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) creator N.D. Stevenson. During a 2015 interview with The Hub as part of their One Thing Leads to Another series, Stevenson discussed how as a trans-man assigned female at birth he admired Mystique’s confidence & fluidity growing up, emphasizing that “she couldn’t be trapped in a single form… she was so confident she didn’t even wear any clothes and I was transfixed… shapeshifters became a shorthand for the kind of power I wanted… to switch between any number of bodies in the blink of an eye while keeping my real self safe.”

While the queer-coding of Mystique's villainous behavior has the potential to lean into harmful stereotypes, this characterization has simultaneously resonated with individuals like Stevenson who view Mystique's status as an ostrascized yet unashamed antagonist to be transformative & liberating. to be Furthermore, Stevenson's words about Romjin's Mystique "keeping her real self safe" are reinforced by the films themselves. Most notably, during the scene from X2: X-Men United wherein Mystique responds to Nightcrawler’s question of why she refuses to use her power to disguise her true appearance with the answer, “Because we shouldn’t have to.”

In essence, the climatic & bloody showdown of Aaron's Get Mystique storyline effectively draws influence from Rebecca Romjin's live-action portrayal of the titular character. Mystique utilizes her naked body as a means of communicating her audacious refusal to disguise her true self, taking pride in her villainous deeds instead of denying them while simultaneously criticizing what she perceives as hypocrisy from Wolverine due to his similar past. When Raven questions Logan's motivation of simply wanting revenge for her betraying the X-Men multiple times over, arguing that Logan's anger over her most recent betrayal is instead derived from his desire to understand Raven's refusal to seek redemption through the team. This results in Raven ruthlessly tearing apart Logan's very identity as an X-Man since he too has berayed & killed for the sake of his own self-preservation. She boldly declares to Logan:

"I've used the X-Men whenever I've needed to, but they’ve never been my family. Much as you want it to be true, they’re not your family either. People like us don’t get to put down roots and play nice. I betray the X-Men because it’s in my nature, and someday, Logan, whether you want to admit it or not, you’ll do the same damn thing. You’ll turn your back on them because that’s who you are. Oh, don't act so offended, honey. After all, we both know you've done it before."

In addition to Mystique's words alluding to the 1921 Bank Heist wherein Logan sold both her and the rest of her gang out, this scene ultimately forces Logan to confront the come to terms with that he is ultimately no better than Mystique and is, therefore, just as undeserving of developing familial bonds.

While Mystique's aforementioned statements of "people like us" not having a family or "putting down roots" can be perceived as contradicting the previously established relationships with both her wife Destiny (aka, Irene Adler) and adopted daughter Rogue (Anna Marie LeBeau), they effectively underscore the inherent nihilism surrounding Raven's embracing of her villainous behavior. In addition to Destiny having been killed in battle several years prior (Destiny would not be resurrected until the modern Krakoa Era), during the Messiah CompleX event, Mystique deliberately shoots Rogue to subdue her when she outed herself as a traitor to the team. Rogue was already dying from the mysterious Strain 88 virus, which caused her mutant powers to go haywire and made skin-to-skin contact with other people instantly fatal. Adhering to the prophecies inscribed in the late Destiny's personal diaries, Mystique believed that both Mister Sinister’s resources and the infant Hope Summers (the first mutant baby since M-Day) were capable of curing Rogue. Mystique not only murdered Sinister by pressing his face against Rogue’s but also risked the baby’s life in the exact same manner in an attempt to heal her foster daughter. While Hope fortunately survived, Rogue was still deeply angered by Mystique's endangerment of the infant and effectively disowned her foster mother by attempting to kill Mystique with her touch (though she only renders Raven unconscious due to Hope's touch curing Rogue of Strain 88).

With both Mystique's wife dead and her foster daughter now wanting nothing to do with her, Aaron's Get Mystique storyline effectively builds upon the foundations of the self-destructive nature of Raven's actions by having her actively dismiss and demoralize Wolverine's familial bond with the X-Men. Aaron underscores how, despite Raven's audacious confidence her success is undermined by the belief that she is unworthy of both redemption & companionship. Subsequently, Raven's hatred of Wolverine is primarily derived from her envy towards the rest of world viewing Logan as a hero despite him having committed similar crimes to herself. While these motivating factors are subtextually inferred within the text of Get Mystique, they are made explicit in both Mike Carey & Michael Ryan's Kill or Cure backup story from the X-Men: Manifest Destiny miniseries, where Raven laments to Iceman in over Logan's words that "she'd die alone because she's lived alone, never [letting] anyone get close to her," as well as by Aaron himself along with artist Aaron Kuder in the pages of Avengers Forever (2023) #13, where an alternate-future version of Raven tells Logan that "somehow the world always serves [him] lemonade while [she's] left holding the lemons."

The portrayal of Mystique as a contradictory chameleon who is simultaneously honest & brazen in her duplicitous nature, as well as embittered about her status as an outcast even among fellow mutants, is what ultimately makes her such a well-rounded & nuanced character. Furthermore, it is these inherent contradictions in Mystique's ideology that Aaron uses as the basis for what ultimately distinguishes her from Wolverine: the hope and willingness to change. A sentiment that is best reflected through Logan's acknowledgment of his past sins after defeating Raven in the desert. In a deliberate parallel to Raven's earlier psychoanalysis of Logan's motivations during their fight, Aaron has Logan counter her denouncements against his character by stating:

"I'm not like you, Raven. I want you to die knowing that. I've made mistakes. Sure. God knows that I've made more than my fair share. And a lot of those involved somebody dying who shouldn't have. But I spend every moment of every day now trying to make up for those mistakes. You've just kept on making the same damn ones."

Although the Get Mystique arc concludes with Logan stating his desire to make amends for the sins of his past, Aaron still emphasizes Logan's present-day failings, which consequently negatively impact Logan's character throughout the rest of Aaron's run on Wolverine. Specifically, after Raven is mortally wounded during her battle with Logan, the latter leaves her to die alone in the desert with nothing but a pistol (in case she decides to take her own life), telling her to reflect on her life decisions while stressing that he now has a family in the form of the X-Men, whereas she's all alone due to the decisions she's made. This ending continues to be controversial with both readers & critics, who argued that Aaron's refusal to kill Mystique was emblematic of Marvel's inability to commit to permanently kill off its characters, as well as made Logan look hypocritical & unlikable for denying Raven the mercy blow.

Within the larger context of Aaron's Wolverine run as a collective whole, however, the author frames the controversial ending of Get Mystique as ultimately serving as the foundation his Logan's undoing. In addition to later issues revealing that Mystique somehow managed to survive her injuries, during the Wolverine Goes to Hell arc in particular Raven aligns herself with an organization known as the Red-Right Hand (a cult comprised of various individuals whose loved ones died by Logan’s hand) to get her revenge on Logan. This results in Raven luring Logan into a trap where the Red Right Hand banishes his soul to Hell, while his physical body is possessed by the demon known as "Hellverine." Immediately after assisting the Red Right Hand though, Raven ends up betraying the group when they inform her of their true plans for Logan's soul to eventually climb his way out of Hell and reclaim his body before attempting to get revenge on them, only to have him slaughter several of the organization's elite assassins who were secretly children that Logan had unknowingly fathered over the past century.

The group's plans turn out to be too horrible even by Mystique's standards. While Raven openly admits that she's not sorry for helping banish Logan’s soul to Hell, once again stating that "[he's] no better than [herself]," she still tries to warn him about the Red-Right Hand's true agenda out of respect for Logan's friendship with her then-deceased son Nightcrawler (who was briefly killed off during the X-Men: Second Coming event). In essence, Aaron demonstrates that despite Mystique being a remorseless & self-centered murderer, she's not a heartless monster who's completely lacking in empathy. Unfortunately, however, Logan ultimately ignores Raven's warnings & fatally cuts her down (Mystique was resurrected by The Hand ninja cult a few issues later in Aaron's run), resulting in Logan fulfilling the Red Right Hand's plan unknowingly killing his own kin in a futile effort for revenge, nearly breaking Logan's spirit in the process.

This brutal plot twist with the Red Right Hand further illustrates how, under Aaron's pen, Mystique functions as a multifaceted & nuanced individual. Despite leaning into her overtly villainous persona, Mystique sometimes possesses greater knowledge & wisdom than her heroic rival, Wolverine, specifically because she refuses to hide from her true self. Conversely, Aaron highlights how despite Logan's legitimate resolve to make amends for all of his his past sins, he still needs to gradually come to terms with and accept himself in order to truly change. It is this revelation that subsequently leads to Logan forming the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning in Aaron's Wolverine and the X-Men series, wherein Logan becomes a teacher dedicated to educating future generations of young mutants, as well as preventing them from suffering the same pain or making the same mistakes as him.

Overall, Jason Aaron's Wolverine: Get Mystique and subsequent storylines effectively forge a dualistic rivalry between Logan & Raven's Darkhölme that frames them as similar yet contrasting mirrors to each other. In a sense, one could argue that if Destiny is the person whom Mystique loves the most, then Wolverine is the person whom Mystique hates the most.

Honestly, the writing & storytelling of Jason Aaron is what helped elevate Mystique into becoming my favorite comic book supervillain of all-time! By portraying Logan & Raven as very similar yet different foils to each other, Aaron crafts a fierce & compelling rivalry that further informs both characters. From my perspective, Mystique serves as a far more interesting & nuanced arch-nemesis for Wolverine than even Sabretooth!

[bunnybea33]

hi friends! ive gotten quite a bit of followers recently from different fandoms that aren’t really my main interests

still i wanted to share my actual main interest…. 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁 BL WEBCOMICS! 🤗

sigh. yes unfortunately i am a fujo, like many of the people on this app. still i dont really talk abt the manhwa/ manga i read too often bc fujoshi spaces scare me.

but uhh here’s list of some of my fav comics (in no particular order)

heesu in class 2

player <3 player

sweet spot (18 + scenes)

kisses x kiss x kisses

killer crush (18+)

mr 100% perfect (18+)

bongchon bride (18+ AND SAD 💔)

can u tell i love when kinda average kinda cute kinda loser dudes bag the handsomest most popular guy on earth

also here’s a list of my absolute least favorite comics

bj alex

jinx

love jinx

love or hate

PASSION

like genuinely dni w my account if u like these or anything w a similar vibe

[abiiors]

tv show recs:

something 2015ish (means 22 episodes, 40ish min log) -> limitless tv show (continuation of the movie), kind of white, mc is manic pixie dreamboy but he wears the coolest sweaters, fun times. i would take that drug.

if you are good with horror and have not watched mike flanagan's stuff id rec it. if you are not good w horror i would still rec haunting of hill house because it is heartwrenchingly beautiful. but ya it has scary points.

i watched mrs davis recently and the tv show is bonkers, but episode 9 pays off bcs the reveal is great. perfect if you are like a person who has worked with code and programming. also there is jesus there and he lowkey hot.

fisk on netflix (australian and funny af)

succession (my top 3 ever) if you havent seen it - billionaires are horrible people but the dialogue slaps. no but fr this show is so high in quality

love death robots

mindhunter (fincher is cool, interesting topic, leaves you wanting more imo)... also about serial killing and all so if u dont like that oops

DIRK GENTLY HOLLISTIC DETECTIVE AGENCY (forget everything else, give this a shot, but like just... it's a tumblr insane show)

anne with an e - perfect for fall vibes! also anne would have had a tumblr

if you like animated stuff i enjoyed final space so much, it's a cute lil animated series

also archer, which is less cute and more satirical

the boys and gen v on prime are fun (if violent and gory)

the white lotus - again horrible rich people, some karma

or go with an old classic: buffy the vampire slayer (though that has a lot of seasons)

omg omg so many suggestions, thank you!!! i obviously must answer them point by point haha

i did not know there was a limitless tv show haha. would also 100% take that pill PLSSSS i would be unstoppable

i asked for tv shows because i just spend weeks binging all the mike flannagan shows haha. i really likes hill house but i don't think anything is going to top midnight mass for me (which was my first flannagan that i watched last year!)

oh i'd never heard of mrs davis but it sounds cool!

same with fisk

i have seen literally everyone and their mother talk about succession and how good it is but i'm just a bit scared that it would end up being overhyped haha. regardless, it's on my list so thanks for reminding me of that

love death robots <333 i love that show!!

same for mindhunter!!! i will not forgive david fincher for abandoning it like how dare he (me when i abandon fics)

oh oh, a while ago i worked on a book based on dirk gently an the author hyped it so much that i ended up watching it haha

anne with an e <33

not super into animated stuff unfortunately!!

and i have never heard of the rest of them except the white lotus

LOVEDDDD white lotus, can't wait for s3. justice for jennifer coolidge

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

I WAS LISTENING TO MR PERFECTLY FINE BY TAYLOR SWIFT YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW WHY ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS GOJO SATORU IN ALL HIS PERFECT GLORY BREAKING UP WITH READER BECAUSE THE READER DIDNT KNOW ABOUT HIS POWERS AND SHI AND WAS A NON SORCERER HERSELF SO HE DISTANCED HIMSELF FROM HER TO NOT INVOLVE HIS PRECIOUS, SWEET AND AWFULLY FRAIL LOVE IN HIS INCREDIBLY TRAGIC LIFE AND FEW MONTHS LATER THEY MEET AGAIN AND IDEK THE READER IS NOW A FAMOUS ARTIST OF SOME SORT(WHICH SHE ALWAYS TOLD SHE WANTED TO BE) AND SHE WROTE THAT SONG ABOUT HIM I-

OOOHH THIS CONCEPT ……… it’s so tasty 😵‍💫😵‍💫

no because this is the only scenario in which i can see gojo breaking up w reader tbh …. because he doesn’t wanna endanger them 😔😔 i think he would still keep an eye out for them though!! not in a stalkerish way, just checking up on them now and then to make sure they’re safe (and bc he misses them :’3) AND AND AND i think that if reader made it as an artist he would be sooo fucking proud and would 100% go to the concert in a shitty disguise because he wants to see them ……

but then he realizes who the song is about. and it’s soooo bittersweet yk?? ”you said you’d never go away”… i think he would cry a lil tbh :’3 after the concert. just a tear or two. he’s both happy and sad because on one hand reader is moving on, they’re doing better, they’re dealing with the breakup … but on the other hand the idea that they think he’s ”perfectly fine” would probably hurt him a lot. it’s for the best, but he can’t help but feel a pang of ache because of course he isn’t doing fine…. he wants to be with them, he just doesn’t want them to get hurt :(( ….

probably sends you an anonymous message to praise you for the concert afterwards… maybe signs it off as mr perfectly fine for dramatic effect LMAO but honestly i think he’d prefer to leave his s/o alone :’3 doesn’t want them to know he still loves them…… it’s better to listen to their songs, check up on them every now and then. he tells himself it’s for the best, but it doesn’t stop the ache.

….. gojo angst scenarios rlly make me sad LMAO i want him to be happy so bad T_T …. BUT THIS IS SUCH A TASTY LIL THOUGHT TYSM FOR SHARING <333

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Open Heart - Chapter 1

The Doctor Is In

Small, private room in modern house. Ground floor, between the living room, kitchen, and right in the middle of everything. At a bargain of $100 p/w, this room is perfect for the working modern millennial!

Matthew was never taking anything offered to him on social media again. The ‘small, private room’ was a cupboard under the stairs. He turned to the landlord, a forty year old man with slick brown hair, dressed in a sharp suit complete with a gold wrist watch.

“Sorry but….is this a joke?”

“Excuse me?” The landlord – his name on social media was Tim Silverstone – appeared almost offended. Matthew attempted a friendlier attitude.

“Tim, I’m six foot one, I won’t be able to fit in this cupboard. You advertised a room…”

“A small, private room and you can’t get much smaller or more private than this!” Tim was positively aghast. “Look, Matt…”

“Matthew.”

“You’re not from around here, so let me explain. Boston is expensive. Some places charge up to $3,000 for one room. This is a deal! A small space of your own in a decent house in the city centre for a tiny sixty bucks per week! People will be desperate for a place like this.”

“I think this is false advertising, Tim.”

Tim glared at him coldly. “Maybe do a bit more research if it means that much to you, but none of the pictures I posted were edited. And it’s Mr Silverstone to you. I’m you landlord, not your friend.”

Matthew’s jaw dropped. Tim (Matthew didn’t feel like calling him Mr anything when he insisted on shortening Matthew’s name) was scrolling on his phone, looking for Matthew’s application. When he saw it, he spluttered.

“I don’t even understand why you’re making such a big deal! You’re working at the hospital, you won’t even be in the room most of the time.” He tucked the phone into his inside pocket and made a big show of checking his gold watch before giving Matthew another contemptuous look. “You ought to be a little more grateful. Since my medical bills will be paying your salary and all…”

He tossed Matthew a keyring – just one front door key, there was no lock for the cupboard – and strode away. Matthew turned back to the cupboard, fuming. He had been warned about silly comments about tax dollars and bills paying his salary, but how on earth could you advertise a cupboard as a room and then get offended when you were called out on it?

He growled under his breath. He had just spent seven hours on a plane from Colorado to Boston, heaving his suitcase around, contending with Boston traffic, nervous for his new job, leaving behind everything he had ever known, and now he was faced with…this. Matthew brought up the ad on his phone and examined the pictures: the front of the house (a gorgeous classic townhouse), the kitchen and living area, the hallway, a photo of each bedroom, and a few artsy shots of the pillows against a bedframe. On closer inspection, this was a picture frame cleverly placed over the pillow. Matthew had assumed the ad was referring to the smallest bedroom. He hadn’t had the time or money to travel to Boston to check the room out before taking it.

A text came in from his mother:

-Holly Valentine: Have you arrived yet?

-Matthew Valentine: Yes, all good. Just reached the house

-HV: How’s the room?

-MV: Smaller than expected

-HV: Oh dear. Send me a pic?

-MV: When I’ve unpacked! Love you xx

Matthew put his phone into his back pocket. Holly had been through a lot; Matthew’s sister died and then his father left them both. Matthew had been apprehensive about moving to Boston but she was adamant he follow his medical dreams to the fullest. Still, he drew the line at revealing the truth about his less-than-ideal living situation. Besides, what he needed right now was a shower and a chance to unwind.

The bathroom was at least clean and provided hot water, though Matthew caught a strong smell of weed from one of the bedrooms and had to take a stroll around the block to clear his head. The evening air helped and Matthew felt a little better when he got back to his cupboard.

He had to open his suitcase in the hallway to prepare his clothes for the next day – just jeans and a t shirt, he would change into scrubs anyway. He kept his toiletries and valuables in his backpack and decided they would stay in there. He suddenly didn’t trust a cupboard that couldn’t be locked from the outside.

Unfortunately, sleep proved impossible. Even if he weren’t about to start a new job, even if he could get comfortable, someone seemed to run up or down the stairs every hour and it shook the entire space. The door rattled in its frame. At one point, a couple upstairs started screaming at each other and then one of them stormed out, slamming the front door which caused the sound to echo around him. Matthew suddenly thought about his stuffed pig, the comfort toy he had had when he was little. When his sister was sick and his parents would argue, he would hide under the covers and hold the pig over his face. He hadn’t brought the pig to Boston; it was on his mother’s dresser next to his sister’s old monkey.

A light flicked on under the door as the pot heads stumbled down the stairs, laughing loudly. Matthew checked the time and cursed: 4am. Four hours until his official start at Edenbrook. It all came down to this.

Years of studying, research, focusing on nothing else except his future career in medicine. Driven by a fascination of how the body worked, combined with knowing how much even the healthy family members could suffer, and he was determined to help every single person who was in his power to help. And then there were the illnesses without cure…

The braying laughter of the potheads made Matthew jump. Realising that sleep would be impossible, he reached into his bag and took out Diagnostic Principles by Dr Ethan Ramsey. Out of all his medical textbooks it was the most battered, with plenty of notes scrawled inside. He had picked it up during his last year of high school and was instantly hooked, amazed by the level of research and practises and thoroughly impressed by the clear dedication to his science. He was also impressed by Dr Ramsey’s admiration for his mentor, Dr Naveen Banerji, who had been referred to several times in the text as well as being the first person in the list of acknowledgements.

After reading the book cover-to-cover, it was a no-brainer. Matthew would apply to Edenbrook and learn where Ramsey had started and now taught. And here he was, about to start the whole thing.

Excitement stirred in his chest as he showered and dressed. He planned to relax in the living room but stopped short when he realised the couches had been removed and replaced with wooden dining chairs, the kind for sitting at a dining table, not relaxing. Not wanting to join the potheads in the kitchen, Matthew grabbed his backpack and stepped out into the city.

He took the time to admire the sun rising above the skyscrapers. When he was a child they had lived in a high rise apartment and he loved looking out over the city on a clear day. After the divorce, he and Holly had moved to Carbondale where they lived with her brother before a small house had been built for them. Matthew had forgotten the noise of the city. It was a little overwhelming and he shrunk into his hoodie.

He stopped in at the first open coffee shop he could find, which was mostly empty apart from a few other early risers. He sat at the window bar as a waitress placed his coffee in front of him with a tired smile. He glanced over when a group of doctors came in, wearing orange scrubs but he didn’t recognise the hospital logo on their coats. He turned away again as the doctors collected their orders and walked out without a glance in his direction. They probably just wanted to sleep, probably in big, comfy beds in proper bedrooms. Matthew suddenly remembered what the landlord had said about spending most of his time in the hospital and wondered if he might be able to stay overnight in an on-call room, just until he could find a proper place to live.

It took him a while to find the hospital from where he was. Daylight had risen as he crossed the parking lot toward the entrance. He was nervous but also had a spring in his step, which was an odd combination but it didn’t matter as long as he appeared put-together. Upon entering the pristine atrium, Matthew looked around wondering where the interns were supposed to meet…

“Hello there! You look lost!”

Matthew turned to see a small woman with a round face and a lot of very curly hair smiling brightly at him.

“Let me guess, first day of medical residency?”

“That’s right. Matthew Valentine.”

“Just step over here and we’ll prepare your ID badge.”

The woman snapped a few pictures of Matthew – he wished he had thought to bring his hairbrush to the hospital but his hair was naturally scruffy it wouldn’t have made a difference – before feeding it through a computer and printing off an ID badge. He clipped it to his collar and she promised him he looked good and pointed him down the hall with another big smile. Her positivity gave Matthew a confidence boost; at least this place had at least one friendly doctor.

As he headed in the direction she had pointed, there was a sudden choking and a muffled thump as a woman in the waiting room fell out of her seat and writhed on the floor, gasping for air. Surrounding patients jumped up, some asking what was wrong, as panic started to rise around the room.

“Doctor!”

Matthew jumped when a young Asian man, around his age and dressed in purple scrubs, tapped him on the shoulder. “We need your help.”

“Oh…right…”

Matthew gulped as he hastened to the woman’s side where a tall, dark-haired attending was already at the scene. He glanced at Matthew long enough to notice his medical ID, which Matthew now wished he had stowed in his pocket.

“Rookie, check her blood pressure. What had she come in for?”

“I don’t know, she had just come in.” That was the young Asian man.

“Well if we don’t figure it out fast she’s going to die here.”

Matthew’s hands started to shake.

“Her blood pressure’s plummeting,” he reported. “She’s hypotensive. We’ve got to get fluids in her…Doctor, this bruise!” Matthew pointed out the bruise that was now rapidly forming on the woman’s elbow. “It wasn’t here a moment ago.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive. She’s a hemophiliac.”

“Good catch.” The doctor nodded smoothly. “Take a listen to her lungs.”

Matthew listened to her struggling right lung. He could hear nothing on the left side.

“She’s going to suffocate!” Panic rose in his chest.

“Nurse, we’ve got a code blue.” The attending stayed calm and started pumping air into the woman’s lungs. He looked at Matthew again.

“You know what it is, Rookie. Consider the clues.”

Through its panicked haze, Matthew’s mind turned. Hemophilia…low blood oxygen…no lung expansion on one side…

“It’s a hemothorax!”

“Precisely. A ruptured blood vessel is filling her pleural cavity…”

“Blocking her lungs from expanding! But we can’t repair it here…”

“Nurse! I need an emergency thoracotomy!”

The young man thrust a chest tube and scalpel into Matthew’s still shaking hands.

“You need to do it now or this woman’s life is on you!” The attending snapped as he exposed the patient’s rib cage. Matthew gulped, readying the scalpel. If only his hand would stop shaking…

“Hey.” He looked up at the attending who looked back at him with calm determination. “You can do this.”

Matthew forced himself to take a breath, focusing on his hand and the attendings voice. The shaking stopped. He cut through the patient’s skin steadily and the attending nodded in approval as he helped Matthew feed the tube through the incision. After a second, the woman took a big gasp of air. Matthew’s knees went weak with relief. Onlookers were applauding. The attending confirmed she was going to make it as another two nurses loaded the woman on to a gurney and wheeled her down the hall.

“Doctor,” Matthew said, breathless with adrenaline. “That was absolutely incredible.”

“You’re right. It’s incredible that you didn’t get her killed.”

Matthew blinked. All traces of the calm teaching mode had gone as the attending glared at him.

“You’re examination was slow and superficial, your scalpel technique amateur at best…”

“I’m sorry, Doctor, it’s my first day…”

“I’m sure that excuse would have been very comforting for her family…” he narrowed his eyes as he read Matthew’s name. “Dr Valentine.”

Matthew was at a loss for words as the attending stalked away. Five minutes on the job, before he’d even officially started, and he apparently was a terrible doctor. But he wouldn’t be for much longer, right?

“Hey, you’ll want to change into scrubs before orientation. I’ll show you the locker room.”

The male nurse led Matthew in the opposite direction from the attending with a sympathetic smile.

“Don’t worry about Dr Ramsey. He’s like that with all interns.”

Matthew stopped in his tracks.

“Dr Ramsey. As in…Dr Ethan Ramsey?!”

“Yeah. I take it you’re a fan?”

“I am! I’ve read all his research and it’s basically why I chose Edenbrook! Looks like I’ve screwed all that up now,” he groaned, wishing the ground would swallow him.

“There’s no way you’ve screwed everything up,” the nurse grinned. “Look, I’ve worked with him for a while and believe me, he was impressed just now. He just very much believes in tearing down to build back up.”

Matthew wasn’t sure it was effective.

“Look on the bright side, you have plenty more chances to impress him.”

The nurse at least seemed nice. As they chatted, Matthew learned his name was Danny, he was twenty seven, and had just started his fourth year working for Edenbrook. His family had moved from Manhattan to Boston when he was ten.

“Anyway, here’s the locker room. You can get changed, charge your phone, there’s washroom facilities, oh, and you can eat and drink in there, provided you clean up after yourself.”

“Thanks Danny. Hope to see you later.”

“Sure thing,” Danny smiled. “Good luck!”

Danny walked away as Matthew entered the locker room, only to come face-to-face with a gorgeous woman in her underwear.

“Holy crap, I’m so sorry!” Matthew spluttered, turning away and straight into a gorgeous man in his underwear.

“How did you make it through med school without ever seeing a bra?”

“Go easy on him, Jackie, it’s the first day for all of us.” The man patted Matthew’s back with an easy grin. “You’ve gone quiet. Hope Jackie isn’t scaring you off already.”

Matthew smiled back. There were worse ways to start a shift than meeting with two hot people at once.

“Don’t worry about it, I don’t scare easily.”

“Quiet but fierce. I respect that!” The man held out a hand. “Bryce Lahela, AKA your new favourite surgical intern. Pleasure’s all mine.” He winked.

“Matthew Valentine, internal medicine.”

“Looks like you’re with me then.” Jackie examined his blood-spattered scrubs. “Gonna change before orientation or what? And Bryce, how about you put clothes on for a change?”

“Hey, if you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

“And you don’t have it, so why bother?”

Matthew laughed as he changed into fresh scrubs. The shock of the thoracotomy was starting to wear off. The sweet woman who had welcomed him in, Danny’s friendliness, Bryce and Jackie’s easy chatter…maybe things would be ok here after all. It was a shame about Dr Ramsey, but then people did say never meet your heroes…

The three of them joined up to the group of interns listening to a stunning statuesque woman.

“Who’s that?” Matthew whispered.

“Did you learn medicine in the woods or something?” Jackie gasped.

“That’s Harper Emery, the hospital’s new chief. She’s so badass, world famous head of neurosurgery before she got promoted.” Bryce was looking positively star-struck. “Guess she’s just a scalpel jockey too, huh, Jackie?”

“She’s the exception that proves the rule,” Jackie said, loftily.

“More will be demanded of you than you’ve ever experienced,” Chief Emery was saying. “Most of you will buckle under pressure. Some of you will quit. But some of you will thrive.”

“Damn,” Matthew muttered. “Is it just me or is she terrifying?”

“I know,” Bryce was drinking in Chief Emery’s every word. “It’s kind of hot.”

“As if you’d have a chance, scalpel jockey.”

“Please. I’m everybody’s flavour.”

It was really quite ridiculous how many beautiful people he had run into already. Matthew felt out of his league. At least he could focus on his career; he wasn’t here for a partner.

Chief Emery finished her speech with a reminder of their sacred duty to every man, woman and child who entered the hospital, and the interns broke into applause, meeting her smile with excited smiles of their own. All except for one intern at the back. She was scowling, the only intern not clapping.

“Try not to miss me too much!” Bryce winked as he split off with the surgical interns. Matthew and Jackie turned to the notice board for their assignments. Matthew yawned. Jackie gaped at him.

“You’re tired already? Sixty seconds into a fourteen hour shift?”

“I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. The ‘room’ I rented when I moved to Boston turned out to be a closet under a very busy staircase. And don’t get me started on the landlord…”

Matthew stifled another yawn as Jackie scanned the list for her name and partner.

“Dr Greene?”

“That’s me!” A Black man in a wheelchair rolled forward and held out a hand for Jackie to shake as Matthew read the list.

“Dr…Emery? Huh?”

“As in Chief of Medicine Harper Emery?” A small man with tightly curled blond hair was looking at Matthew in awe.

“No,” said a cold voice that made the curly haired intern jump. “As in medical intern Aurora Emery.”

“Are you…related to Harper Emery?” The curly haired intern asked nervously.

Aurora squared her shoulders.

“She’s my aunt.”

That caught the attention of several interns, including Jackie and Dr Greene, who had been about to head down the hallway. Muttering ran round the group, some of it admirable, some of it suspicious.

“Now we have to compete with a pedigree.” That was Jackie, who didn’t even bother to keep her voice down. Aurora gave her an icy glare but Jackie merely lifted her chin, challenging.

“Do you think…”

“Yes, I could get you a meeting with her, but I won’t,” Aurora snapped, addressing the group as whole. “Nor will I tell her how you think she’s the ‘greatest surgeon of her generation’ either.”

“She actually is though,” Dr Greene said, earning himself a withering look.

“Sounds difficult,” Matthew said…and for the tiniest second, surprise flitted across Aurora’s face before she hardened again.

“Did anyone ask what you thought?! Let’s just check on the patient, if you’re done with the pleasantries.”

Aurora marched down the hall and Matthew hastened to keep up, mouthing ‘pleasantries?’ at Jackie as he passed.

Matthew kept pace with Aurora, even though she seemed determined to walk ahead of him. He tried not to look too baffled at the seemingly endless corridors and patient rooms. Aurora had probably already received a private tour. Did everyone else know more than Matthew did already?

“So, shall we talk about how we’re going to approach the case?”

“No need,” Aurora kept her head up, not looking at him.

“Aurora, all I care about is the patient. You don’t have to like me, we certainly don’t have to be friends, but I’m going to do everything I can to make my patient better.”

“Suits me just fine.” Aurora sped up.

Matthew rolled his eyes as he caught up with her, but they had already reached room 532. Aurora knocked once and opened the door, revealing a young woman, not much younger than Matthew, with long fair hair, sitting up in bed. She seemed nervous but gave a brave smile.

“Are you my doctors?”

“We are.” Aurora had done a 180, giving the woman a warm smile and speaking kindly. Matthew tried not to look too surprised, checking the woman’s chest as Aurora introduced the two of them.

The patient’s name was Annie Wood, twenty four years old, and had been admitted for headaches, nausea and vertigo.

“Is there anyone we can call for you?” Matthew asked as Aurora prepared a blood pressure sleeve. “Being in hospital can be less scary with someone by your side.”

“No. I just moved here for grad school but my family’s on the other side of the country, and…well, I don’t really know anyone just yet.” Annie’s face fell.

“I know how you feel, I just moved here too,” Matthew said sympathetically. “Maybe we can look out for each other in the meantime.”

“Sure,” Annie smiled as Aurora measured Annie’s heart rate. Annie kept scratching a marbled patch of skin.

“Do you often suffer from itchy skin?” Matthew asked as he took a closer look.

“Not really, just the past few days.”

“And the headaches and vertigo?”

“Never had those before. Oh, and my palms keep cramping up. It really sucks, I had to cut my vacation to Indonesia short because of all this.”

“You did the right thing. Vertigo can be dangerous, especially in an unfamiliar place,” Aurora reassured her. Indonesia would still be there when Annie recovered.

“How long will I have to stay here?” Annie asked, looking unhappy.

“We’ll do our best to make it quick. For now, just relax.”

Annie nodded. She did seem reassured by Matthew’s confidence.

“Sorry. I just panic really easily when I’m stressed out.”

“Nothing to apologise for and there’s no reason to worry. Your health and well-being are our first priority.” The reassuring tone came easily to Matthew. Patient care went well beyond the physical ailments. Meanwhile, Annie readjusted her position in bed, exposing her ankle for a second.

“How did you cut your ankle?” Matthew asked. The jagged gash looked deep but clean and hadn’t required stitches.

“Oh, I just cut it on some coral when I was scuba diving.”

“You’re a scuba diver? That’s cool!”

Annie smiled but shook her head. “I’m still learning. I went for my licence on my trip.”

Matthew nodded as Aurora examined the cut.

“One last question,” Matthew said. “Any allergies to medication?”

“None that I know of. Thanks Dr Emery, Dr Valentine.”

They left Annie to get some rest. Matthew broke into a smile when they closed the door.

“Dr Valentine…I don’t think I’m ever going to get tired of hearing that.”

Away from the patient, Aurora’s kindness had frozen back to her no-nonsense attitude.

“I’m already tired of hearing it. Anyway, Annie’s vitals were good but we should run a full work-up.”

“Let’s order a screen too, she might have picked up a virus or bacteria on her trip.”

“Not the worst idea…”

Matthew couldn’t help wondering if he’d imagined Aurora’s admittance when an announcement came over the tannoy.

“Paging Dr Aurora Emery to Chief Emery’s office…”

“And I guess that means you’re doing it.”

“Hey!”

But it was too late. Aurora was already bustling down the hallway, leaving Matthew with the grunt work. Matthew cursed under his breath…but he hadn’t exactly been left with a choice. The patient was his number one priority and Matthew would die before he forgot that.

His other patients kept him busy for the next several hours. He found out the curly haired intern was named Landy Olsen and was as big a fan of Dr Ramsey as he was. He was envious that Matthew had been there to help that morning and dismissed that Ramsey had torn Matthew a new one.

Another intern – a woman with long auburn ringlets – seemed to care much more about working what it was like working with Aurora. She was so dazzled that she almost forgot she was taking a blood test. Matthew was starting to wonder if there was anyone who actually cared about patients rather than the medical celebrities, but he was reassured when he spotted a petite intern with a long brown braid comforting a little girl whose mother had been admitted.

Matthew took a chance to lean against the wall, suddenly realising he hadn’t sat down for hours. One of the older nurses approached him.

“Dr Valentine?”

“Hi…Marlene, was it?”

“That’s right,” she smiled. “ I have the results from your patient in 532.”

Matthew nodded and read through them. Annie had picked up an uncommon strain of bacteria.

“Let’s start with 200mg of cefpodoxime antibiotics every twelve hours and see how we go.”

“Got it,” Marlene nodded and gave Matthew a smile. “Hang in there, Dr Valentine. You’ve got this.”

Matthew went back to work feeling a tiny bit lighter.

When he went back to check on Annie, she was curled in bed, playing on her phone.

“Hi Annie, how are you feeling?”

Annie blinked at him.

“The same. The nurses gave me some medication just now, though.”

“Antibiotics. It’s too soon to see an improvement yet, but hopefully you’ll feel a bit better soon.”

He turned to leave but Annie called out to him.

“Actually could you…if you can, would you stay a while? It’s kind of lonely being here on my own.”

“Of course!”

Annie beamed as Matthew settled into a chair beside her bed.

“Thanks Dr Valentine.”

“Thank you. I haven’t been off my feet in six hours!” Matthew sighed in relief. “So, what are you studying?”

Annie blinked, her head nodding. Matthew frowned.

“My m-masters…in E-English…but…”

“Annie, are you feeling OK?” Matthew asked urgently, jumping up, but Annie’s head slumped and she fell back, unconscious against the pillow.

[unplanned-parenthood]

I WANT TO HEAR YOUR AMBER LORE SOOOO BAD. she is my everything i agree with all of your takes on her so so so hard you put it into words

i was definitely exaggerating when i said Amber Lore but i do think abt her past a lot....most of it is related to her upbringing (shocking in the show where absolutely everyone has smthing going on w their family) AND her being a lesbian because lesbian amber is so real to me. this is very messy and barely coherent but. you asked so you shall receive. under the cut though bc its like. a lot

born and raised in boston (thanks mrs. dunnek for being born there) by her mom, really good relationship with her but they didn’t /see/ each other too often bc mamalakis worked a pretty demanding corporate job (she is just as ambitious as amber, yeah, except she worries about how others see her quite more, aka she Will play nice to get what she needs) so amber was by herself a lot since a very young age. she has no siblings and no connection with her immediate or extended family (neither from her mom’s or dad’s side, dad’s mostly because he was never in the picture)

her mom being a very successful and hard-working woman certainly made amber internalize lots of stuff and add lots of expectations to what shes supposed to be slash what shes supposed to do and mamalakis was never demanding or strict w amber but amber 100% was with herself and she was definitely one of those kids who cried and threw up when they didnt get perfect marks LOL

she has always been very blunt + obsessed with being right + smarter than anyone else so she was pretty much by herself even outside of her home but she spent a lot of the time in the local library. she read pretty much everything available and the only ones that didnt bore her were medical books (i can perfectly imagine a little amber liking how grotesque some of the graphics/pictures were lol…my princess)

adding onto the ‘mostly by herself thing’ she pretty much did not have friends for most of her childhood/teenhood but she had a small group of girls she used to hang out and go shopping with during hs, they were all pretty fake and disliked each other though. amber knew that but she didnt care, she just took advantage of it so she at least had someone to drag with her when there were group projects and stuff (if she was going to be gifting away perfect marks she would much rather it be a known evil, you know)

she did her undergrad, premed, um whatever its called in boston uni. last time i did research i settled on biomed, i think? but i could also see her pursuing something in the psychology field…

in uni is when she deliberately started trying to get boyfriends and stuff, even if she knew she didnt need a boyfriend or anything bc her mom didnt have one and she was fine but she still went out of her way to date like every boy out there. just to feel something and like prove herself she could, and maybe just become the image of the perfect daughter her mom deserves (the one who her mom definitely would never push her to become but rather the one amber made in head. she really put her mom on a pedestal A Lot) she didnt like any of the guys she dated though, and most of them werent very Nice either (plays the love and respect scene over and over in my brain) but she just shrugged it off at the fact that maybe relationships just werent for her

but she was like Very Wrong bc while she was out there having meaningless relationships w guys she was growing closer with her roommate lol…who was pretty much her first Real friend and whom she didnt get along very well at first bc she slacked off a lot and was constantly asking for her help but she was also very sweet, had a nice smile and took care of amber whenever she was sick (which was a lot, i think she has seasonal allergies and gets lots of colds) also completely unrelated but she did have brown hair and dark brown eyes :) (you see where this is going) they never dated although her roommate definitely liked her that way but also comphet is a bitch and when amber realized she might actually want to pursue something w her she started dating even More Guys and started avoiding her roommate and everything. she realized somewhere along the 3rd year or so of being roommates (they stuck together even after their freshman year, yeah <3) that she liked her but it wasnt until her last year there that her roommate confronted her about it and it was a whole fight and everything. amber might or might not have said that their friendship would never last bc she didnt want distractions once she started med school and...it was Bad. after that amber stopped dating altogether up until��you know who. absolutely not a coincidence she ended with the one guy who is absolutely repressed and dealing with the comphet demons too (i do think they loved each other though, as much as they could. but they were both trying to fill the gap of the one thing they could never have. and as i have said lesbians and gay men will always literally go and have the most tragic romances in TV)

and. well. after that it pretty much went downhill for my princess. she moved to missouri for med school (canonically WUSM!) and…her mom died, car accident, um. the narratives im so sorry. it was Bad she struggled a lot and she was now by herself for sure but she worked her ass off to get her degree because she knew her mom wouldnt have wanted to see her giving up. then she moved to NJ to do her residencies (a little closer to what she used to call home, but not close enough to make her depressed) and then pretty much what happens in the show :-) 

in a happier timeline she comes to terms w her sexuality and tries to connect w her old roommate again and she is like head of radiology in some prestigious hospital. or maybe head of the second diagnostics department to ever exist. she deserves it.