#w it or like .. Wanting to put in more effort in a way i never rly have before
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senascoop · 1 day ago
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☁︎ . , BETTER THAN HIM? , P.SH & S.JY 18+
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PAIRING: bf ! sunghoon × afab reader × bf’s best friend jake. SYNOPSIS: you didn't know how you ended up in this situation with your boyfriend and his best friend, maybe they planned it... maybe they didn't.. but you didn't mind it now. GENRE: basically a threesome short drabble, started with jake commenting how y/n would prefer his cock better. WARNING(S): NSFW, MDNI, unprotected sex, fingering, blowjob, jealousy, nipple play, licking precum, creampie, the reader has consented to!! WORD COUNT: 1.4k [LIBRARY]
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The wet sound of Jake’s fingers sliding in and out of your slick cunt fills the room, mixing with your muffled whimpers. Your thighs tremble, tightening around his wrist as he pushes you closer to the edge. The sheets beneath you are soaked with your essence, the heavy scent of sex hanging in the air.
Jake’s smug smile grows wider, his fingers shining with your arousal as he raises them for Sunghoon to see. “Damn, she's really soaked,” he mocks, his tone oozing confidence. “Is she always this wet... even with you, Sunghoon?”
Sunghoon’s jaw tightens, his hands clenching into fists, knuckles white from the effort to hold back. The desire to wipe that irritating grin off Jake's face, to make him pay for touching what belongs to him, is nearly unbearable. Of course he doesn't want this. Of course you're not usually this wet. This eager, this desperate for anyone's touch but his. Not with him. Never with him.
So why now? Why with Jake? The question eats away at him, shaking his confidence. Is Jake just better, more experienced? Does he know something Sunghoon doesn’t? The thought makes him feel sick.
You lie there, lost and overwhelmed, your mind spinning. You can’t grasp why Sunghoon brought Jake here, into your bedroom. Into your bed. You bite down hard on your lower lip, trying to stifle the moans that threaten to escape as Jake adds a second finger.
A single tear slips down your cheek, and Sunghoon is immediately at your side. He gently wipes it away, leaning in close. “It’s okay,” he whispers, his breath warm against your ear. “You can let go. Feel it. React.”
Sunghoon’s teeth grazes your sensitive nipple, sending jolts of painful pleasure through your body. He suckles roughly, tugging and twisting the other peak between his fingers. It's a stark contrast to the gentle, worshipful way he usually touches you when it's just the two of you. It feels like he's trying to mark you, claim you, and assert his territory against Jake’s bold advances.
The dual sensations of Sunghoon’s mouth on your breast and Jake's fingers pumping in your dripping cunt are almost overwhelming. You arch off the bed, a long, keening moan escaping your lips. But neither Sunghoon nor Jake lets up, working you from both ends with relentless focus.
“Can I put it in?” Jake asks Sunghoon, his voice low and rough with lust. Sunghoon just shrugs, deflecting the question.
“Don't ask me, ask her. It's her body.”
Jake turns to you, his eyes dark with desire. You bite your lip, torn between the conflicting feelings of shame and arousal. You glance at Sunghoon uncertainly, but he's busy biting and sucking at your tits, your fingers tangled in his hair. The sharp sting of pain mingles with the pleasure, making you gasp.
You hesitate, giving a small nod, unsure if you can trust your voice. Jake flashes a grin, quickly pulling down his boxers and positioning himself at your entrance. You're so wet and ready that he slides in with hardly any resistance, stretching you around his thick length.
“Wow, this feels amazing,” Jake groans, his eyes rolling back in pleasure. “I can't believe you’ve been enjoying this for so long. What a lucky guy.”
You let out a whimper as he begins to move, each thrust dragging his cock along your sensitive walls. It’s not that Jake is necessarily bigger than Sunghoon, but he’s in great shape, his muscles flexing as he drives his hips.
Your mind spins as Jake and Sunghoon work together, their cocks stretching you to the limit from both ends. One thick shaft pistons in and out of your dripping cunt, while the other fills your mouth, muffling your desperate whimpers. It’s almost overwhelming, the fullness, the wet sounds of their coupling.
Sunghoon grips your hair, guiding your head as he thrusts gently between your lips. “That’s it, baby” he breathes, his voice thick with pleasure. “Such a good girl, taking both of us like a champ.”
His words send a shiver down your spine, and tears begin to leak from the corners of your eyes. The salty taste of pre-cum coats your tongue as you swirl it around Sunghoon's length, hollowing your cheeks to take him deeper.
Jake sets a relentless pace, his heavy balls slapping against your ass with each powerful thrust. The lewd squelch of your sopping wet pussy being pounded fills the room, mixing with the sound of your wet gagging.
It's filthy and degrading, everything you never knew you craved. The taboo thrill of being used like this, sandwiched between two hard, pulsing cocks, sends you hurtling towards the edge embarrassingly quickly.
Your inner walls flutter and clench around Jake's thrusting shaft as your orgasm crashes over you. You moan around Sunghoon's cock, the vibrations making him groan and tighten his grip on your hair.
“She came too soon...” Jake chuckles breathlessly, his thrusts never faltering. “Guess we know who the real stud is, huh Sunghoon?”
Sunghoon's jaw clenches, his ego bruised by the implication. He bucks his hips, driving his cock deeper down your throat until you gag and splutter.
Sensing Jake about to cum. Sunghoon yanks his throbbing cock out of your mouth, his face twisted in a scowl as he roughly shoves Jake away from you. “Told you not to cum inside her,” he warns, his voice low and dangerous. “Only I get to do that.”
Jake holds his hands up in surrender, nodding quickly. “Understood, man. My bad.” He steps back, giving you both some space as he watches Sunghoon line up his cock and plunge into your dripping cunt.
You moan wantonly as your boyfriend's familiar length stretches you open, your tongue darting out to lap up the glistening strands of pre-cum that dribble down your chin. The taste is intoxicating, salty and musky, and you can't help but crave more.
Sunghoon grips your hips tightly, setting a punishing pace as he pounds into you. The wet, obscene slap of skin on skin fills the room, intermingling with your desperate whimpers and moans. “Better?” he pants, his voice strained with the effort of holding back.
“Mmm... you always feel better than anyone...” you murmur breathlessly, and it's not even a lie. No matter how good Jake felt stretching you open, nothing compares to the way Sunghoon fills you up, hitting all the right spots with each powerful thrust.
Sunghoon's eyes darken with desire at your words, his hips thrusting forward with renewed intensity. “Yeah? You really mean that, baby?” he breathes, leaning down to capture your lips in a passionate kiss.
Your response is lost in a moan as he drives into you particularly deep, his pelvis grinding against your sensitive clit. The added stimulation sends you spiraling over the edge once more, your inner walls tightening around Hoon’s thrusting cock.
“Fuck, I'm gonna... gonna...” He groans, his thrusts becoming erratic as he nears his own climax. With a final, guttural moan, he buries himself deep inside you.
You watch through half-lidded eyes as his hips stutter and jerk, his cock pulsing within your fluttering walls as he reaches his peak. Thick ropes of cum fill you, marking you as his, claiming you in the most primal way. The sensation of his warm seed filling you sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body, prolonging your own orgasm until you're both left breathless and panting.
As Sunghoon collapses on top of you, his weight pressing you into the mattress, you catch a glimpse of Jake from the corner of your eye. He's standing there, his hand wrapped around his own impressive length, stroking himself with a look of pure fascination on his face.
“Wow, that was something else,” Sunghoon whispers, placing a gentle kiss on your sweaty forehead. “You were amazing, babe.” You can only nod faintly, too exhausted to speak. Your body feels like jelly, every muscle relaxed as the aftershocks of pleasure wash over you. His softening member slips out of you with a wet sound, a small trickle of his release following behind.
Jake clears his throat, breaking the moment. “Well, uh... I guess that answers it. You definitely prefer Sunghoon’s cock,” he says with a light laugh, though his tone is more impressed than teasing.
Sunghoon smirks, rolling off you to lie beside you on the bed. “You know it. What did I say?" He reaches out to give your ass a possessive squeeze, causing you to squeak in surprise.
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yayll · 2 days ago
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heyyy! I just read ur rockstar!Dazai fic and it honestly reminded me of this idea I had!!! (loved the fic btw!) Are you able to write an actor!dazai x fem!actor reader and they r fake dating while secretly being rivals ?? (I’d like 2 be known as 🦎-anon!)
hiiii 🦎 anon hehe
i'm sorry this was quite the wait, i LOVED your idea and i wanted to write it properly and i kind of took some liberties so i hope you enjoy it regardless? thank you for trusting me w your fic idea actor!dazai now haunts me actually dazai in any like, imagine just fucks my shit up that man is a menace in any story i put him in and i'm so glad others agree. i love u baby mwah u get so many ivy kisses
~ a little something about you and actor!Dazai keeping up appearances ~
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"You're choking meee!"
"I'm just fixing your tie, Osamu-"
"It's babe, actually."
"It's whatever I want if you want me to keep holding your hand in public, jerk."
He pouts at this. What a cute little meanie you were! Always scolding him and spewing empty threats as if you were hot shit. You were hot shit, and that was only the beginning of his problems... The biggest one right now being backstage with you while attending the hottest awards show of the year.
Just before he can respond, the curtains are drawn and it's a stagehand whisking you two away to present the next award infront of thousands of fans. You're walking side by side, your heels clicking with each step when Dazai leans in to whisper something.
"You should stand on my left, my right side is more attractive."
"We're both facing forward, does it matter?"
He raises a brow and huffs dramatically in typical Dazai fashion. You two had been 'dating' for a year now, everyone was invested in this blooming romance ever since you both started in that drama together, now it's nothing but red hearts for you two.
It wasn't planned, it just kind of happened... It also wasn't completely awful, but it was the goddamn ego on Dazai that really made you want to strangle him sometimes. He knew he was pretty and desired, and what a threat you were with such an iconic streak in all of your latest projects. No wonder you two had to be paired together, on your own you were both dynamite. An unstable formula that needed to be stabilized by combining it together. Thought could that make it worse?
You present the award holding hands the entire time, an act highly encouraged by the need to convince, and yet when it's you two doing it it never feels as forced as you'd like it to be. There is a comfortability in the role of this relationship, you've come to realize yet supress. You'll hold hands for so long you begin to get clammy, and it's certainly not because he dotes on you almost every time he speaks! Which he hates doing... It's just a script, after all. Duh.
You're both making your way out of the venue towards the car that awaits to drive you to the after party when you're ambushed by interviewers and hundreds of flashes that yell out speed questions.
"Does the beautiful couple have time to stop and answer a few things for us tonight!"
Dazai loves that shit. Of course he has the time, he doesn't care if you don't. He has to sell it, obviously, since you don't put in the effort according to him. He flashes the interviewer that sardonic little smirk you hate and speaks innocently.
"Why, us? Sure! Right, honey?"
He turns to you and the crowd loves it. You hold back how badly you want to roll your eyes and simply smile, holding yourself high with grace and a ton of media training.
"We'd love to."
The interviewer is overjoyed as she looks between you and Dazai, taking in that affection that radiates from your false words. She grins as she goes along to ask her question.
"So, I think a lot of the fans are wondering..."
You and Dazai perk up, not even realizing that you're clutching the bottom of your dress so tighty that your knuckles are white. The interviewer looks directly at you.
"The two of you have been the most stunning couple the industry has seen in a while. Any plans for the future?"
You freeze. Ugh, not this again. You shake your head, smirking to yourself at the absurdity of the concept alone.
"Thank you, but honestly we're just taking things day by day. There's no rush between us, we have all we need right here and now."
The journalist smiles again and nods, seemingly impressed by your laid back attitude. Dazai snorts and suddenly interjects, clearly having a cheeky response to give to the crowd of journalists.
"We'll have tons of kids in the future, actually~"
Your panic is so instant that you literally laugh out loud, yet recover quickly by turning your shock into a playful glance at your lover. You manage a more sweet giggle and smack him on the chest a little harder than people would guess.
"Ooh, he's joking, of course."
The journalist rejoices, finding your banter and your overall interaction as a couple cute. The ideal power couple! Dazai grins and turns to you again, leaning in to tease you, his narrowed Hazelnut eyes piercing into you like a promise.
"Not joking. One day we're going to have a massive pack of little kids running around. And it's going to be your fault for being sooo cute~"
And with that, he leans in all the way into a million dollar kiss on your confused and parted lips. You're taken so offguard you almost fall back and of course grab onto him a little tighter... and run your fingers through his disheveled hair you forgot to nag him to cut... As the cameras go off like crazy, you wonder if it's worth ruining your public image for a while just so you can slap him harder than you ever have before.
Everyone's cooing and you're fuming, so you settle for a quick thank you and goodbye as you drag Dazai off the red carpet and into the car. He's giggling the entire time, of course. As soon as the door shuts out the screaming fans watching you drive off, you turn to Dazai and whisper ardently.
"What was that all about?! We didn't discuss this prior to-"
"... You liked it."
"Huh?"
"You liked it when I kissed you."
You scoff, though it sounds like you're choking.
"I did not. I just did what I had-"
"... And you want to have my babies. That's adorable, how devoted of you!"
You smack him on the arm but he's smiling like a cat who's had too much catnip, too far gone into his delusions to care about the repercussions. Love is love, after all...
"I think we should break up, like officially. You're nuts. The press won't let that go, Osamu."
He perks up, snapping out of his stasis and crinkles his nose in disapproval. He shakes his head, his hand on his chin as if in deep thought. Dazai mutters, barely above a whisper.
"... We won't actually break up, though."
"And why not?"
"Because in about 60 seconds we're going to kiss again and you'll be clinging onto me the entire night."
You snort into a laugh, tilting your head in disbelief. The car slowly comes to a halt as you arrive at the after party where a familiar roar of the crowd awaits to greet you once more. You begin your futile argument yet again.
"I don't see why I would do that."
At such a silly reply, Dazai softens his voice, looking at you like he first did when you both met on set a year ago. A lifetime ago. You're so cute when you're playing dumb. He shrugs, carefree.
"Neither do I, which is why I want to know too. I want to know what you're thinking about, if it's me."
You hate the way he sounds so sincere, like a real boyfriend would if he were trying to convince you you're just as into him as he is into you. Mind games is what it is, or at least you hope so. You really hope so.
You sigh, suddenly over the conversation as you open the car door to begin climbing out. Dazai follows suit and the roar of the crowd makes your chest feel tight as overstimulation takes over. You want to be anywhere but here and you wonder if you're having some sort of panic attack, but it just doesn't feel describable.
You turn wildly, disoriented by the camera flashes and instant fuss of the press, only to be faced by your one and only savior: the omnipotent Osamu Dazai. You don't know what it is about him in that moment, you just glide into his arms and complete the prophecy as you hook your arm with his, taking deep breaths as you finally ground yourself. It feels like the right kind of wrong, and you don't care to question it.
You feel a squeeze and a soft velvety voice whisper to you once again, you don't even have to look at him to know he's as smug as ever. But amongst the teasing, there's affection there too...
"So, am I?"
"Are you what, Osamu?"
"On your mind."
"At this point you're practically a permanent resident."
You hear him hum, a smile still present on his lips, the world simply frozen for him to continue his private conversation with you in public.
"Hmm, remind me to have you repeat that to me later."
This causes you to squeeze his arm back and murmur in genuine curiosity, finally daring to face him. He's already looking right at you, so devilish and angelic at the same time that you can't even look away.
"Why?"
"Because your time's up. 60 seconds, remember? Now come and kiss me already, the camera's are waiting~"
The photos of you two that night were the envy of couples everywhere. If only they knew how the ride back to the hotel went, it would be a scandal! Or simply the next step in your future?
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otomiyaa · 2 days ago
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Day 21: Horns/Fangs
Sariphi x Leonhart
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[Miya & Mia’s Tickletober 2023] - Reupload of one of last year's tktober fics that died. So niche no one reblogged it to keep it around, but guess what, it's back hehehe 😇😈
Word Count: 1K
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“Y-Your Mahahajesty! Nohoho! Not agahahain!” 
Sariphi loved that she could laugh a lot by Leonhart’s side. He was cute, sometimes funny, but ever since he discovered that Sariphi was quite ticklish, he had been looking for ways to make her laugh as loud and as much as she could.
From soft scribbles with his fingers on her sides or belly, to playful licks and nuzzles in her neck, Leon was quite the fluffy tickle monster. And sometimes, he was really merciless.
“I cahahan’t breathe! Hehehe plehehease stop!” 
“Sariphi, I apologize.” The transition from Leonhart the tickle monster to the sweet and caring king he was, Sariphi loved it so much that she spread her arms wide to welcome him for a cuddle.
“It’s okay,” she said breathlessly, petting him when he lifted her in his arms for a very nice hug. Sariphi pouted when she wiggled her fingers against Leon’s fur. She had tried it before, again and again, but it was as expected. Her tiny fingers did nothing to his beastly body. Not his neck, not under his arms, not his tummy.
“Still not working?” Leon said when he noticed she tried to tickle him back. Sariphi nodded. 
If only Sariphi had the guts to try and tickle Leon when he was in his human form. But everytime she saw him like that, she was just so wonderstruck by his beauty that she forgot about it. Leonhart as a human was almost intimidating. More intimidating than his beast form maybe. So up until now, Sariphi still never heard him laugh like she wished to. 
“Did I take it too far?” Leon asked when Sariphi continued to catch her breath in silence. Sariphi shook her head and rubbed the places where he tickled her. She still felt tingly, but in a pleasant way.
“Not at all,” she said, and she gazed at his beautiful eyes. Then she looked at his horns, and she realized something she didn’t try yet before…
“Your Majesty… Leonhart,” Sariphi whispered softly, and she reached out for him, inviting him to come even closer with his head. Thinking she simply wanted to give him a kiss, Leon moved closer, and Sariphi first cupped his cheek. She then moved her hand up and lightly trailed her finger against his horn.
“Oh.” A soft sound came from Leon, and he twitched. Sariphi held on to her curiosity and tried it again. She lightly tested the sensitivity of his horn by tickling it softly, and there was definitely a reaction.
“W-what are you trying?” Leon asked her the obvious. Sariphi smiled merrily.
“Maybe your horns are ticklish. I would like to give it a try,” she admitted, and before Leonhart could answer, she literally climbed him until she could sit on his shoulders, as if His Majesty was going to give her a piggyback ride. Then, making sure she was steady, Sariphi started to tickle both Leon’s horns in this position. She scribbled her fingers lightly against them, and ooooh bingo. Finally!
“Sahahariphi, t-that feels reheally strahahange,” Leon laughed in the most beautiful, deep and charming voice. Sariphi giggled playfully and continued to tickle him.
“Does it tickle, Your Majesty?” She felt how much Leon was controlling his reactions so he wouldn’t throw her off him. He shook with held-back laughter and reached for her legs, trying to get her to move off him.
“Ahahalright, a-alright hahaha y-you found m-my tihihickle spot,” Leon laughed, but Sariphi was determined to tickle him a little more.
When he started to put more effort in getting her to move off him, such as by tickling her bare feet and legs, Sariphi laughed and dodged his attempts. She held onto him and tickled his horns mercilessly in a way she never thought horns could be tickled. She experimented with soft scribbles, and the use of her short nails up and down the length of them, and when she focused on the base of the horns… Precious.
“Hehehe Sariphi okahahay you win! You win,” His Majesty laughed breathlessly, his voice sounding different and more beautiful than ever before.
Sariphi felt shy and embarrassed by how much the ticklish King affected her, and as the feeling distracted her, she felt how Leon finally managed to pry her off him, and he pinned her back underneath him again. He hovered over her, still panting and breathing heavily, and she gazed up at his flustered expression.
“Did that tickle?” Sariphi whispered playfully, and she smiled. Leon sighed and slowly took the hem of her dress and moved it up, revealing her bare legs to him, and her panties, and…. Sariphi blushed like mad by how bold Leon was, but as soon as her bare tummy was in sight, he stopped, and she could see the mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
“You asked for this, Sariphi.” He then put his lips to her tummy and instead of kissing it like she expected he might, he gave her the one thing Sariphi had only heard of and read about in books, but never knew what it was like: a raspberry. And boy did that tickle.
“LEHeheheon! HAahahaha I’m sohohorry! Ahahahah!” Sariphi squirmed and struggled, but combined with some soft nuzzles, Leon once again tickled her until she couldn’t breathe. By the time he stopped, they were back in each other’s arms, resting peacefully after the playful struggle. Sariphi gazed at his horns again, and finally said what she had been wondering about.
“N-next time, I would like to see if you are ticklish anywhere else… in your human form,” she said.
“Oh?” Leon shook his head. “I guess not, but we can try,” he said.
“At least you will still have your horns. Which are very ticklish. And the tickle fight would be more fair, wouldn’t it?” Sariphi giggled. She yelped when Leon playfully poked her side.
“You are very small and ticklish compared to me, but you definitely found a way to tickle me back. So I say, it is already fair,” he argued. Sariphi pouted.
“I don’t think so! You should let me tickle you when you are a human!”
“I will let you try.” 
And although duty was awaiting them and the palace was as busy as always, that day Sariphi and Leon did nothing else but enjoy each other’s presence, having fun with their silly tickle fights and giving each other their love. 
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mean-scarlet-deceiver · 1 day ago
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I agree with you on a lot of points here. The RWS narrative does Gordon dirty in some ways, and I don't think he's being rude or mean every time he's painted as such (although sometimes he really is and I don't want to minimize that).
And Gordon definitely comes to see himself as a protector or sort of alpha leader to the rest. I don't think he fulfills that role as quite well as he thinks he does, but he does frequently make the effort and his willingness to see himself as part of the group (even if it must be as the leader) is a definite and huge improvement from his initial role as a not-really-malicious but as a hilariously egotistical engine who had not one thought rattling in his smokebox except "meee! meeeeee! MEEEEEEE!" So, growth. I respect it.
"[W]hen big things happen, especially to "his people" and they are no longer in a position where he can look out for them, he feels irritated and upset" <- I think this is very rosy, probably gives him too much credit! He doesn't like being separated from "his people" because they are his friends and he feels bereft when they're gone. He seems to have a hard time expressing that, normally finds some excuse that (as you say) allows him to claim irritation instead of vulnerability. (He doesn't miss Thomas, he's overworked. He isn't overwhelmed and homesick and just doesn't wanna, it's that the trucks are uncouth and the job is impossible. He isn't hurt that Henry now has a different shape and they can't be mistaken for each other anymore, he's irritated that Henry is so noisy.) But even Gordon himself has never tried to excuse his vulnerability as concern for his friends' safety or well-being! His reaction to loss and change is totally human and understandable, but not noble. He just needs the support of familiar faces and his usual routine as much as anyone, indeed more than most. Gordon's a bit high-maintenance.
We can only guess on Annie and Clarabel's respect for him. I have a feeling it's simply because Gordon's at the top of the railway hierarchy and that's what they respect. They don't share Thomas's gadfly delight in thumbing his nose at that hierarchy, his shining confidence that he's worth infinitely more than "his place." I don't think Annie and Clarabel, as branch line coaches, necessarily know much of Gordon's character; they're just nice conventional old ladies.
I agree with you that I don't think "Hullo, fatface!" would have got lodged quite so deep in Gordon's smokebox if it hadn't come from Henry! It is kinda fascinating. Like, Gordon doesn't normally overreact to insults or teasing. He ignores it if he thinks it's beneath his notice (like the first howevermany times Thomas called him "lazybones" and ruined his nap, lol!) and if it merits a reaction he plans a very targeted punishment to get his own back (dragging Thomas on the Express, blocking Duck from the points to the shed the way he did to the big engines, etc.) But yes, Henry says that and he starts to immediately stew and spiral. I once wrote a post that included an analysis of how Gordon seems to regard most engines (including James) as "little" - he can patronize and condescend to them. One exception is Henry (the other is Edward). Which is all just to say... yeah, it's very interesting. Henry really pushes his buttons there - but Gordon lets him. He doesn't start thinking up a plan to punish Henry and put him in his place. Best he can do is retreat to self-aggrandizement, lol.
Oh, Gordon... I think he is a great representation of how the word "condescending" has changed in connotation over the course of the 20th century 😉 He clearly is of the old-school upper-crust view that condescension is a virtue!
Forever and Ever... Even in the 1920s-1960s
Started going down a long digression in the 2+4 essay. Gonna follow this breadcrumb trail over here instead...
One of my arguments is that Gordon actually behaves well and graciously way more often than he is usually given credit for (and starts doing this way earlier than often credited, too).
Along the way, I realized that his spots of bad behavior are not random. When he starts acting all Ass, it's almost always in the period of some sort of major change in his life:
The Three Railway Engines - *waves hand vaguely* all of it -> he's just transferred from the GNR to Sodor
Troublesome Engines - *waves hand again* y'know, all of it -> Thomas moved away :(
Henry the Green Engine - harrumphing about how Henry has let the side down in like three different ways directly after Henry's major reconstructive surgery -> the horrible wreck where Henry, his best friend, could have died, and instead was in hospital the rest of the damn winter
Gordon the Big Engine - "Mind you keep on the rails today!" and then, when he gets pushback, retreating to old friend "boasting" -> is he mother-henning Henry?? he's explicitly referencing the Kipper accident! I would not be too shocked to learn that Gordon gets twinges of unease that he never examines every so often whenever he sees Henry with a train
Percy the Small Engine - "Quack quack quack!" and trying to bully Duck (lol. lmao, even) -> Percy is gonna move away :(
Main Line Engines - getting on his high horse about "Branch Line Diesels" and then getting into a huge spat with Edward that results a brand-new beat-down of a dead horse named "Edward is Weak and Useless" -> We learn in "Wrong Road" that his fireman is new. Presumably his old fireman advanced to fill the role, leaving the vacancy... which means that Gordon recently lost his old driver to retirement.
You might be thinking "well yeah, stressors are stressful, most people's outbreaks of bad behavior have to do with some sort of Big Life Thing" - I certainly thought so, for a mo'. But this isn't true of the other major characters? James's worst behavior in the Wilbert books comes when he is slightly delayed sometimes during his work day and when Toby just, erm… exists. Thomas's worst behavior is because he… doesn't like his snowplough, and has a careless cleaner.
No, only Gordon's poor behavior can so consistently be linked to big changes. Indeed, not many RWS characters have been seen with quite as much of an interior life as we learn Gordon has in "Tenders for Henry." By that point, Gordon has matured enough that he doesn't express his feelings in this emotionally-stupid make-it-everyone's-problem sort of way. But we can see clearly that the end of steam seems to affect him more deeply than anyone else at Tidmouth.
So yeah, I think there's something real and insightful in the above pattern. Once again, my friends - Galloping Sausage with Feelings.
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lemongogo · 1 year ago
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< 2023 trgnz
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sundial-bee-scribbles · 5 months ago
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youtube
hai guys :3
#my video lol#my audio lol#vocaloid cover#synthv cover#synthesizer v cover#genbu#genbu synthv#evil food eater conchita#i am forcing everyone to look at this. look at my guy ehehehhkjnjkhgmlb AFTER TWO WHOLE ASS YEARS FINALLY#i couldve probably put more effort into this but ITS BEEN IN HERE FOR 2 YEARS i wanna be done w/ it already 😭#so regardless if it kinda sucks a little bit; its wayyy better than the covers i made like ~4? years ago when i was first starting out#was the iku drawing i posted before this foreshadowing?? not necessarily but its rly funny to think abt in hindsight#also rip genbu in a dress that i was gonna draw for this originally 😔✌️ i'd really love to draw more stuff for these covers i make#but it usually never comes out the way i want it to and i figure editing some sorta visualizer like this is better#than keeping some things trapped in my files for so long purely bc my extra ass wants a cool pv. some day maybe but not now#some sick fuck unsubscribed from me after i posted this BYE BITCH i dont miss you at all. live laugh love genbu in this house /j#im not the most obnoxious genbu stan i'd say but you WILL respect him in my house i do not tolerate genbu slander i love that man your hono#yes im extremely based bc he (and eleanor) were THE very first vsynths i ever actually fucked around w/ programwise#but WHATEVER!! idc he is so dear to me i do not regret buying his full version at all (it was impulsive)#the only synth i'd actually consider myself kinda good at tuning LMAO ik people hate how he sounds and have issues w/ him but not me...#these tags are too long girl stfu. anyways tldr; look at silly thang i made w/ my silly man#i love genbu and i love songs about cannibalism <3#Youtube
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sydmarch · 5 months ago
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no interest in any of my hobbies next to no concerts going on all summer feeling abandoned by the majority of the few irls I still have no idea where to meet new people to replace them now that I'm not part of the highly social hard partying sales culture I spent basically all of my post college life in anymore literally what reason is there to keep trying
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luminarot · 6 months ago
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ONCE YOU’RE STRIPPED CLEAN, WHAT IS AT YOUR CORE ?
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cauterizing rage.
the house has burned around you, and you’re the only one left standing. is it gratifying to be the survivor? fear and anger are weapons in your capable hands, used only to serve your agenda of fighting back when deemed necessary. you're a powerful person, built from the ashes of your despair and your family's mistakes. with time, you'll bloom into someone softer, like the full blossoms that grow each spring and wither away with the leaves in fall. they won't disappear if you take your eyes off of them. you're enough.
tagged by: @dcwnthercbbithcle tagging: @mehrcedita , @lessluck ( for Any muse across all your blogs tbh!!<3 ) , @princetorn + anybody else who would like!!!
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theghostofashton · 10 months ago
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#the genre of posts that's like 'stop being so demanding about people pronouncing foreign names our mouths can't move like that' is just so.#like i'm sorry but this is not a real problem#it truly is not a real problem that people are too mean about wanting their names pronounced correctly#as if that's been a demand forever and not something that's just becoming more of a thing as of the last few years#the default for decades has been putting up w anglicization even when we didn't want it or it butchered our languages#because that's easier and how dare we ask people to put in the effort#so now that people are pushing back and being like no this is how my name is pronounced we end up being told we're demanding#and we're all just assholes looking for ways to be mean to the poor english speakers who can't say them right#we can tell when you're trying and we can tell when you're not and the idea that the former is more common is literally ridiculous#the most regular occurrence for me is people pronouncing my name correctly at first and then suddenly anglicizing it for no reason#they have demonstrated that they can say it correctly. they just choose not to.#that is the default#not to mention poc not being able to pronounce english words correctly or not knowing how to pronounce them get way more shit lol#idk like i am never trying to be mean#i have so much respect for the people who try because most people do not#and it is so endlessly frustrating to see this framed as us being assholes when we're simply tired of putting up with this#sorry i saw a post that made me mad lol#delete later
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perenlop · 2 years ago
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kudos to the xy anime at least for a) using zygarde in a genuinely really interesting and fun way and b) not trying to be like “ohhhhh lysandre has a point thoughhhhhh hes just extreme about itttttt”
#the world if we got pokemon z#which ig the anime did give us in a way so.#xy hurts me personally bc like its so close to being fantastic and a really good expansion of the games w a darker tone#but its held back by the fact that the anime will never really get as dark as it wants to its ''dark'' moments come across as forced#the time it felt the most natural was during the flare arc which felt appropriate bc they finally set up that people were going to die#and there were massive stakes at hand instead of. ''oh boo hoo ash lost a battle''#quoting dante but like just read pokespe xy it does a much better job at being a darker adaptation of the game and expanding on it#also personally just dont like it when media is like ''oh!!! oh!!! we're ADULT actually!!!!!! look at us reference porn!!! and DEATH!!!!''#and it puts no effort into actually being a more mature take. especially when we're talking about a kids show#like. gravity falls is mature in a way thats palatable to kids still while still being enjoyable and tense for adults#because it does talk about death and family estrangement and drama and focuses on that stuff#it takes the time to dedicate itself to those moments#and thats why the flare arc is so good to me and not the rest of xy. flare arc is able to focus all of its energy into the emotional stuff#bonnie's song is hands down my favorite xy moment tbh like the buildup for that througout xyz was phenomenal#its just that to get to that i had to sit through ''ha ha this scene looks like ash is begging serena for sex'' and ''ha ha snake kink!''#echoed voice
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dutybcrne · 3 months ago
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Okay Sc.arveh has been replaced in my mind as resident silly crack crossover ship potential of clashing personalities.
Ly.cae is now my new best friend
#//Jkjk#//Nothing could match the disaster that is Sca.rveh. Bc ERRBODY comin outta that ship worse & that is delightful to me#//But there is certain je ne sais quoi abt Kind w a Bad Past Housekeeper Wolfman & Mr. 'Anti-hero with attitude problem' Cavalry Captain#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//For starters; that wolfman could outcharm Kae I'm afraid jdkngd#//And do so so naturally; he'd make Kae IMPLODE#//Mans could just be being courteous as per regulation; and Kae'd STILL find himself feeling los dokis in spite himself#//Esp with his combat style and how perfectly composed he seems; that rich voice and impeccable presentation#//Would make Kae a lil but obsessed as a result; wanting to see if he could fuck up Lyc's rhythm & MAKE him lose composure#//Kae would SWOON whether successful or not#//Tho Ly prolly wouldn't find it all amusing esp IF he's successful kjhbfgfgh#//The one thing that would throw Kae SO fucken hard would be Ly.caon genuinely coming to see him as someone to care for/dote on#//Like in those interactions with pr0xy; like the Moonwatching bit for instance sjdbhfkdrg#//Even if it was meant out of duty; Kae would still balk SO hard to be treated so sweetly#//But he'd also prolly trust Lyc to be serious abt/with any genuine feels far faster than anyone else BC of how sincere he is#//I do love the idea of Lyc getting to see more of Kae's noble side; past the facade he gives everyone else. Prolly would be the only perso#to really get Kae to accept some of the credit for the nice things he does/the efforts he puts in for others; even if just between them two#//Not to mention Lyc will find Kae's genuine willing to accept any and every part of him without qualm. ESP the unpleasantness#//Bc in a way; it would deffo comfort Kae far more to see shit like his more feral sides; even if bared at him#//That; and Kae can never resist a good dogboy type kjdbfgfdg#//Literally in this case as it may be lololol#//The absurd amount of doting and care kae would put into helping him maintain his fur silky soft & cooing & praising him for a good job#//And then just#//IMPLODE if Ly offered smth similar back khjdbgfkhg#//Fr tho; bet his claws would feel SO nice gently brushing along your scalp while he combs your hair- >.<
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exopelagic · 10 months ago
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A list of things I’m frustrated by:
#1. my right skate won’t fucking tighten right it’s being stiff so I can’t skate properly again. they don’t fit right but I can’t do shit now#2. I’m not enjoying ice hockey as much right now bc of that and the people being. not annoying but. I’m disconnected from them#3. feeling disconnected from everything because of the residual barriers I put up but also the ones are just There bc of outside forces.#4. of them the disconnect that comes from not like loud music/crowds/drinking when you’re at uni.#5. the fact that the friends I have most access to I largely don’t like that much bc half are straight and southern and rich and annoying#6. the fact that a different group of friends basically just stopped talking to me and honestly didn’t really want me around that much anywa#7. the fact I don’t care that much about that. any of that. and I’m not Cool with not talking to them anymore but it’s just Happened yknow#8. the fact that’s a significant portion of the queer people I know here. and the others aren’t people I’m anywhere near as close to.#9. the way it’s my third year here and a bunch of people are graduating and opportunities to meet new people went to hell like two years ago#10. i Can meet new people and in fact am even now but everything is so much effort#11. how that’s probably how it’s gonna be the rest of my life bc being an adult sucks. I’ll get Maybe one more shot at meeting a bunch of#people quickly if I do a phd and move but that’s hellish for other reasons and I lose a lot in doing that. but I lose a lot no matter what#12. graduating sucks and so many of my friends are doing it this year. I’m not but next year will suck bc of flatmates and everyone missing#13. feeling on the edge of hockey friends bc they’re fucking hockey players and make dumb fucking jokes. and how I can’t do that#14. anxious isolated gay boy I was never gonna be cool with that and there was never any way I could’ve been on the team#15. the fact I decided not to go for the team partly bc of that and the fact I dont regret that decision. bc I like ice hockey but I couldnt#17. knowing the answers to most of my problems bc I’m at That point where I have the self awareness and maturity to some extent to see#exactly what’s going on and what’s up with it and the right way to go about things. and still feeling the fucking feelings anyway#18. the weird fucking position I occupy both w queerness and the north/south thing weirdly where I’m gay+northern + surrounded by Not#and neither feel like they belong to me. distinctly Other but not in the right way and both sides see that. always a little off#19. being socially aware enough to see exactly where things are awkward or done badly but not knowing in the moment how to make it Not#20. the way the shit The Asshole said abt my anxiety has stuck with me so much and I still think abt it all the time#21. the way he was my fucking first. a lot. and then did That to me and there’s been nobody since and that’s fine but see point 17#22. the way shit is slow to fade both with Him and current guy (very different things that are fading) even though both are fucking dumb#23. current guy being the fourth and should know bettering and knowing that’s bullshit too and I hate it. gonna start biting#24. not having the means time or opportunity to meet other people instead. and feeling dumb abt wanting to. and abt not doing some stuff#25. the fact this list is long enough that I’m gonna run out of tags and there’s still more but it’s 4am and I’m done#luke.txt#I’ll be fine once I’ve slept on it all. I should do something abt this probably but idk what right now and I should sleep mostly so. night!!
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sister-lucifer · 9 months ago
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hcs 4 toby giving bj 4 first time :3
Toby’s First Time Giving/Receiving a Blowjob Headcanons 
Ticci Toby x Gender Neutral Reader 
A/N: I know you probably meant Toby giving a blowjob for the first time but I wrote both because i can. enjoy the double feature
Genre: Smut headcanons 
Content/Warnings: Oral sex (obviously), Toby likes praise, face fucking, Toby gets a bit rough in his excitement but he doesn’t mean it, he’s just a feral, excitable horndog, scenarios for both AFAB and AMAB readers are included, use of dick, cock and cunt to describe genitalia
Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!
Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out 
Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)
Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!
Giving 
Oooohhh boy okay, listen 
He’s not exactly experienced 
Most of the people he went to high school with were incredibly put off by him and the like two who weren’t never went past making out 
He has no idea what he’s doing, you’ll have to teach him 
The good news? He’s very eager to learn 
If you have a dick he’ll try to deepthroat it IMMEDIATELY, regardless of the fact that he’ll choke like a fucking idiot, and you’ll have to practically yank him off of you 
If you have a cunt he’ll do the same thing except latching on way too fast and way too rough in a clumsy but genuine effort to pleasure you
Just hold tightly to his hair to keep him from ducking back down and gently instruct him to start slow 
You’ll have to be very detailed with your instructions, and he has no shame, so expect a lot of really specific questions 
“Should I-I keep flicking your clit with my tongue like th-that?” 
“Do you like w-when I circle your tip l-like that?” 
Etc, etc
And he’ll say it with 100% sincerity, because he really does want you to enjoy this
It takes him a minute to get the hang of it, but once he gets his rhythm he won’t stop until you’re begging him to 
It’s fun for him to watch you squirm and moan, it brings him just as much pleasure as it does you 
You can encourage him to keep going by scratching his head, running your fingers through his hair, and giving a little tug when he does something you particularly enjoy
Speaking of which, he responds very well to verbal feedback (re: praise) 
You can see his eyes light up when you call him a good boy or tell him he’s doing well 
And he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get him praise
Basically, he’s easy to train
Just keep telling him how well he’s doing, and be clear about what you enjoy 
He’s more than happy to comply 
Plus, it’s kinda hot to watch the drool and cum leak from the gash in his cheek as he eagerly laps up everything he can get from you
Receiving 
Well your first challenge will be getting him to sit still
He’s a hyperactive bastard and his excitement will manifest as restlessness 
It’s best to have him lying on his back to reduce the risk of possible injury, but he will still shake his legs and fidget with his sleeves as he watches you position yourself between his legs
He’ll try not to touch you at first because he’s not really sure what’s acceptable or not, instead opting to fumble with his fingers and gnaw on his knuckles 
He’ll be breathing heavily and mumbling to himself the whole time, before you’ve even gotten his cock out 
“I-I can’t believe you’re doing this for-for me��Y-You’re so nice to m-me…I-I don’t—fuck!—I don’t k-know what I’d do with-without you…”
And he’ll go on and on like that until you’ve sucked him so good he can’t talk 
He’ll forget his manners the closer he gets to cumming
He’ll get more and more needy and he’ll start to grab at your hair 
Unless you stop him, he’ll get rougher and rougher until he’s practically fucking your mouth, pulling and pushing your head back and forth by your hair and thrusting into your mouth 
He’ll have drool running down his chin and he won’t be able to keep his mouth shut, just completely desperate and messy
The best part is the way he’ll shamelessly beg to cum down your throat 
“Pleeeaaase, please, please, fuck—! I-It’s all I want, just let me—let me cum in your m-mouth, I need it! I-I’ve been a g-good boy, haven’t I?!”
If you don’t say yes he’ll literally cry 
But if you do, the absolute euphoria that’ll cross his face is more than worth it 
He’ll force you down on his cock as he releases down your throat, his back arching in an almost violent manner as he forces you to take everything he has to give
And he won’t let go until he’s completely done 
When you’re finally released from his death grip it’ll be because he’s gone limp, completely spent and barely conscious 
Give him a quick kiss before you go to clean up, he’ll lick your lips clean for you 
He’ll be riding that high for hours 
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loganspr1ncess · 25 days ago
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Ny’s favorite works ᥫ᭡
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[ Logan Howlett / Hugh Jackman edition.]
- god I need him so bad. these recs include one-shots, drabbles, series, etc. all are 18+ mdni. ꕤ=fluff ꩜=angst
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Logan Howlett
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Logan realizing he’s a Dom through taking care of you @tojigasm
Being babied by Logan @tojigasm
Logan letting you see his claws up close @tojigasm
Imitating Logan’s cat ears ꕤ @tojigasm
I don’t know why I bite ꩜ @not-neverland06 - You've tried for so long to get Logan to accept you the way he does the others. You want so desperately to be someone who means something to him. But he doesn't want you, maybe he never has. And you both seem to be stuck in this loop of hurting each other.
Practice [L.H] @selfcarecap - your roommate Logan lets you practise giving a blowjob on him for your date with another guy.
Manipulative best friend!Logan with a corruption kink @selfcarecap - naive/innocent/inexperienced reader
Cat & Dog [L.H.] @selfcarecap - logan rescues you, a kitty hybrid, on a mission and you become infatuated with him.
Hickey Drabble @dollfacefantasy
Logan with a pillow princess girlfriend @dollfacefantasy
Dig Your Claws Right Into Me @dollfacefantasy - logan hurts you when he has a nightmare. now you both have to deal with the fallout.
Make Him Do What I Say @dollfacefantasy - you and logan make a little bet. who can last longer without sex? as much as he wants to deny it, he's starting to think the answer might be you.
Nasty @logansbaby - like the title says, it’s nasty, no other explanations needed
Guilty as Sin @logansbaby - the entire time you’ve known logan howlett, you’ve tried to keep your longings locked. then, one night, all that effort goes to waste when you’re confronted about your feelings.
The Honda Odyssey @coweye - The car fight reimagined and it only needed to be like 10% more erotic than the original.
baby fever @silverskyeline - after your first baby is born, logan realises he doesn't want to stop at just one.
mean!logan fucking his girl while holding her in a headlock @ddejavvu
lessons learned @nymphoniah - logan fucking you from behind, keeping you in a headlock, squished between his biceps
princess treatment w logan @born222late
lumberjack!logan @born222late
grinding on logan's happy trail @ddejavvu
Old Man Logan
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Can't Get Started @dollfacefantasy - logan can't get it up one night and is humiliated. but that just means he'll have to prove he can still satisfy you.
animals @rqnarok - old man!logan catches you trying to finger yourself on his bed
glory box @rqnarok - calling old man!logan daddy for the first time ever...
old man!logan fucks while still wearing his glasses @rqnarok
old man!logan gets grumpy when you tell him he can't keep up @rqnarok
make up sex with old man!logan @rqnarok
dark!old man!logan @rqnarok
dbf!logan ‘just the tip' howlett @rqnarok
old man!logan's breeding kink @rqnarok
old man!logan obsessing over his pregnant wifey @rqnarok
being old man!logan's housewife @rqnarok
Fix You @logansbaby - Logan Howlett is dying. You both know it, but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept.
Meet-Cute Ch. 1, 2, 3 @mistyorchid - Failed talking stages inspire you to meet someone irl. Riding an older man in the backseat of his limo makes you forget about the immature boys who ghosted you on Hinge.
Wicked @thinkinonsense - old man!logan howlett x young fem!reader
call me if you're lonely @thinkinonsense - old man!logan howlett x phone sex hotline worker!reader
old!logan and his obsession with the cute diner girl @thinkinonsense
Hugh Jackman
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sneak away with me @pedroscurls - you sneak away with hugh during a party.
secret crushes @pedroscurls - you've known hugh for years, having not only a personal friendship with him, but also a professional one. then, ryan decides to play matchmaker unbeknownst to you or hugh.
—ᥫ᭡
disclamer! all credit goes to the authors! i just wanted to put a list together of all the works i’ve enjoyed so far after joining the fandom :) i appreciate everyone putting their time and effort into letting me do every position with him, front to back, left to right. you guys deserve a million kisses and booties munched.
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odoraful · 1 month ago
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𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘 𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄
brushing up on physical intimacy might be hard for an adeptus like xiao. however, he's willing to put in the effort for a romantic like you.
⟡ content: xiao x gn!reader; sfw; fluff; xiao is ALWAYS serious about wanting to learn more about you :') ; 1.5k words
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You froze in shock hearing what Xiao had just asked.
“Do you want to kiss?”
The words reverberated in your head. Did you need to schedule a visit with Baizhu to have your ears checked? Or did your serious-minded adeptus actually initiate wanting to kiss you? If it was any consolation, Xiao seemed an equal measure flustered by his own request.
You had just begun to unwind for the night at Wangshu Inn—Xiao pouring out tea, and you folding laundry to be put away—when he spouted the question.
Seeing your wide eyes barely blink, Xiao blurted out, “You kept talking about the opera we watched”—he cleared his throat—“and about how romantic the kiss was.”
You flushed.
The romanticist in you couldn’t help it though. At Liyue Harbour, the Yun-Han Opera Troupe had just performed a story of forbidden romance. It was a tale of two lovers who had been banished to opposite sides of the night sky. For only a single day out of a year, birds would form a bridge to help them reunite. And when they met, they shared a passionate kiss beneath the heavenly skies dotted by milky stars and galaxies. You had almost been moved to tears. Believing that Xiao was unaffected by such things, you freely chattered about it the way back to Wangshu Inn after the performance. Gushing endlessly about the magic of it all.
“It was! But, that doesn’t mean that I want to”—
You sucked in a breath, cutting yourself off.
Well, you didn’t not want to kiss Xiao. You just weren’t prepared at all for this.
“It’s just that you said it so suddenly!” you said, shaking out a blouse that matched the shade of pink that spread across your cheeks.
Affection came in many forms between the two of you—heartfelt conversations on moonlit nights, swims in Yaoguang Shoal when the weather warmed up, exchanging trinkets from one’s adventures—but neither of you had engaged in anything physical. It seemed like an invisible line not to be crossed. Shoulders side-by-side, but never touching. Hands brushing, but never holding.
You stored your small pile of clothes away, staring aimlessly into the open drawer trying to figure out a reply. He sounded so genuine in his offer, how could you turn it down? Resolute, you shut the drawer and swung around.
Betrayed by his tendency to blush easily, Xiao fought to keep a calm expression on his face. He rested his elbow on the arm rest of the wooden sofa, hand covering his mouth. His words came out muffled.
“Forget I said anything.”
No, no, don’t backtrack! you thought.
You needed to salvage this situation. Though, your mind drew a blank. Quickly, your dug around your memories and all the romantic stories you’ve read, featuring love interests timid, bold and everything in between. What was the perfect move to woo someone the fastest? A move that would be impossible to refuse?
You crossed the floor of the room with an unfaltering gait. Xiao’s eyes followed your movement, curious as to your intent.
With little hesitation, you sat on his lap.
Every hair on Xiao’s body raised. His heartrate thundered in his ears, faster than in any fight he had been in. The curve of your body against his thighs was a foreign, yet oddly comforting, sensation.
“W-what are you doing?!” he spluttered, flabbergasted.
Your boyfriend was in the most embarrassed state you had ever seen, his face as red as a jueyun chili.
“You asked if I wanted to kiss, right?” you confirmed, trying to keep your voice even. “Well, here’s my answer to that.”
A fuse short circuited in Xiao’s brain.
He didn’t even know where to look. At your eyes? No, they held too much bated anticipation. At your lips? Certainly not. Even staring down into his lap meant acknowledging the vulnerable position you two were in.
He couldn’t do this. He definitely couldn’t do this. Why had he even asked you in the first place? Because he could somehow act like a prince charming? Hold the back of your neck and sweep you off your feet with an expert kiss? However, beneath his panic, the temptation he felt was undeniable. Yet, time and time again, his desires were drowned out by the alarms blaring in his mind.
You laid your hands on his shoulders. The air around him sweetened, the perfume on your wrists enhanced by your closeness.
As you drew nearer to him, he was forced to look up at you. The panic stilled. All he could focus on was you. The steadiness of your breathing, and the tensing of your legs. Every little texture on your face, and each blink of your eyes.
Xiao wanted to try. Try to fulfil those romantic fantasies you spoke so fondly about. Maybe, just maybe, he could make you just as giddy and lovestruck.
The unexpected passion in his gaze was too overwhelming for you. Unable to hold eye contact with him anymore, you turned you head to the side,
Xiao knew to strike when enemies left an opening in their defences. Whilst you were the farthest from an opponent to him, it was those same instincts that pushed him to move after the perfect opportunity you gave.
Your mouth parted with surprise at his lips pressed against your cheek. Though it only lasted seconds, the softness of his kiss lingered behind, your skin tingling with elation. Outside, past the balcony of your room, the stars seemed to twinkle a magnitude brighter before he pulled away. You turned back to him, an incredulous smile plastered on your face, practically beaming.
“I-I know it wasn’t like how it was in the opera…” Xiao’s voice trailed off, hands fiddling at the fabric of the cushion beneath him.
You shook your head in strong disagreement. “I thought it was even better than the opera.”
Interlocking your fingers behind his neck, your voice filled with mirth, “I should tell Yun Jin about it so she can incorporate it into her next performance.”
“Do not tell her.”
“I’m joking! Well, only about the telling Yun Jin part that is.”
Up close, he could see exactly the way your eyes creased and your lips curved when you laughed. Had he done that? Been the one to provoke such cheeriness for you? The previous fears he had subsided, and it boldened him to ask you a question.
“Why is it—” his voice grew small—“you never ask me to do things like this with you?”
His sincerity both gladdened you, and twinged you with guilt.
“To be honest, I always assumed that you didn’t like to do these sorts of things,” you admitted, downcast.
“It is hard for me due to my… inexperience,” his face scrunched up slightly as he paused. An endearing habit of his when he let his thoughts collect itself before replying, “but if it’s for you, I’m willing to try.”
Hesitatingly, he brought a hand up to cradle of your face. His touch was feather-like, leaving a gap of mere millimetres against your skin.
“Just… don’t move so fast.”
Xiao examined your reaction, hoping that his words made sense.
“I understand,” you reassured, “I want us both to feel comfortable too, so we can take things slowly.”
Comfortable… Once again, he was conscious of your position.
He coughed, a slight awkwardness to his tone as he spoke.
“Then, does ‘taking things slowly’ involve sitting in my lap?”
“Ah!”
You almost jumped out of your skin realising the position you had put him in.
“I’m so sorry! I don’t know what I was thinking. It was just something I’ve seen happen so many times in the light novels I read, and I thought I’d try to do one on you.” You were rambling at this point, spouting anything out of your system.
Hurriedly, you got up, brushing the sweat from your palms on the fabric of your pants. You sat beside him on the sofa, willing the heat away from your cheeks.
“I-I didn’t dislike it,” he said, gently. “I would prefer if you asked next time so I’m prepared.”
You nodded. The corners of Xiao’s lips twitched at your sulk. He knew well enough he should change the subject to dispel the embarrassment radiating off you.
“You spoke of light novels? What are they?”
“They’re a type of literature from Inazuma.” As you continued, your composure renewed itself. “Wanwen Bookhouse has been supplying lots of new genres recently, specifically romance,” you added, somewhat sheepishly.
He hummed with interest. “Could you… share them with me?”
“You want to read some?” You brightened at his curiosity. “But, why?”
Xiao’s expression fell into seriousness, as if calculating a decisive move in a battle.
“I want to understand your likes more.”
His words landed a direct hit to your heart, causing it to flutter. It was a different feeling to when you read your novels. It was far more intense, and infinitely more meaningful.
He smiled softly.
“These stories will be good study for me.”
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azullumi · 10 months ago
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trying different types of kissing with scaramouche?💔 like forehead, neck kisses, hand or anything at all....
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“say yes to heaven” ; wanderer/scaramouche
summary — ultimately, he really does just want to be loved, behind the many layers of him to hide all that yearning and longing. but how can he say it when love, for him, was a synonym to forgiveness; alternatively, different kisses with him, with each one signifying a progressing relationship.
pairing — scaramouche/wanderer (w/ gender-neutral reader) ; could imagine this with either but i wrote this with wanderer in mind
tags — established relationship, fluff, a little bit of angst, not proofread, 1.1k ; ficlet
note — i needed an excuse to write a fic that is just all about kissing him and also comforting him (but still, i hope u like this nonnieee!!)
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i. hand
You hold his hand and press small kisses on his knuckles, a little bit ticklish it was for him but he doesn’t retract. The feeling of it makes something in his chest ache with an unfamiliar sensation, and he knows it’s not his heart because he never had any.
You kiss the back of his hand, an intimate gesture, like devotion, like he was something—or someone—that should be adored.
“I am no god.” He was no deity to be worshiped so why are you so gentle to him? He wasn’t made of glass nor is he fragile; he was born from ashes of a burned home, he was carved out of war and winter storms and everything that you could ever pray against, he was a symphony composed of nothing but bad luck and conflicting melodies—he was not the kind people would choose to be around, much less adore.
And as if you bear a part of him in your mind, you understood what he was trying to say, could hear the questions that tormented him, could see the conflicted look on him as he looks at you with a gaze that seems to scrutinize your being when only he is looking for an answer. He tries to look for a crack, a gap in your expression, so that he can look through it and see what you’re really thinking.
“You don’t have to be one to be loved.” You press one last kiss on his hand just as you finished speaking, looking up to him. Indigo blue orbs met yours in a gentle gaze, eyes filled with affection only for the other to drown in. If he could put all that he was feeling, all that he was asking and seeking an answer to, into a simple word, it all condenses to: why?
“Do you still have doubts?” You ask, despite knowing the answer. He opens his mouth only to close it again, looking for the words that he should say but chose to be silent instead. And you smile—not a beaming grin nor a subtle paint on your features, but something gentle and comforting as if you’re assuring him: it’s okay, I understand you. I know you.
“You’re not unloveable.”
Loving him wasn’t the hardest thing to do, it came to you naturally as if breathing but the man thinks otherwise. A burnt child who loves the fire will only hear the fact that he is loveable, people just choose not to.
“How do you know that?” You know him well enough to hear the way his voice trembles at the effort to allow himself to be vulnerable. Long was the fall of the tall and formidable walls that he built around him.
“You’re not unloveable.” You repeat, taking hold of his fingers to kiss his hand once more. “Am I not enough proof of that?”
ii. forehead and cheeks
You cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead, an unspoken language of tenderness in which he took a long time to understand. When love and affection has finally been given to him after decades of yearning, he’s unsure of how to hold it in his hands—does he gently hold it with both? Every bit overwhelms him to the bone, the gratifying yet intense feeling seeps through his being and settles inside of him in a way that it slowly consumes the crevices of his mind, until all that is left of him is nothing but a starved man who only longs for the feeling of your skin against his own.
There was a flicker of warmth in his expression and he closed his eyes as he relished in your kindness, your hands cradling his cheeks with warmth that coaxed his entire existence, your lips pressing against his forehead softly. Then, you started to pepper his face with small kisses and the man could only surrender to your touch, a dance of vulnerability and intimacy as he crumbled into your hold.
No one has ever come this close to him (a closeness that was a stranger to the pages of his past, a tender note composed solely for him), no one and nothing.
You spoke, murmuring against his skin and close to his lips: “Sunshine.” Humor weaves through your tone, teasing the absurdity of the mismatched title and the man who wears it with subtle grace.
“Don’t call me that.” He snarks yet no bite. It’s ironically funny how you use that nickname on him despite him being the complete contrast of it; he stands as the living paradox of the word itself.
The sound of laughter bubbles up in your throat and you answer, “Why not? It suits you perfectly, don’t you think?”
What else should you call the man who grasps the warmth and tender light in his chest only the sun could give? To be with him was to sit in the autumn sunlight, to sleep in the comfort of your sheets when the rain patters against your window, to walk barefoot on the sand even if it feels like shards of glasses against your sole, to be with him was to simply exist; you’ve never met anyone who had the sun for a soul and he has never met anyone who had the stars in their eyes, and while you had the universe etched on the palm of your hands, he has your name engraved on his.
iii. lips
Your lips ghost against his own, albeit in a tantalizing manner, teasing and quite slow—but he wasn’t a patient man.
“Are you going to kiss me or what?” He whispers and you don't waver at his straightforwardness, having been used to this note. There was no hostility in his tone, just pure and raw desperation and desire to feel you.
You could imagine the eye roll he would give you had he not had his eyes closed at the moment, could imagine the frown on his expression while he spoke and could imagine it faltering soon when you finally kissed him, slow as if to savor the softness of his lips and how it reminds you of spring; he could not properly express the warmth on his chest at the thought of how you love him when he still tasted of heartache and war.
You part from him but remained close, foreheads pressed against one another, breathing heavily, and looking into each other’s eyes. You wanted to tell him that you will find him in every lifetime, but the silence between you two was enough to convey such strong affections that you could hear him respond: And I will love you in each one.
(And he somehow finds himself thinking at the same, this is what he deserves. He’d do these, these vulnerable moments where he lays himself bare for you to touch and hold even if you’ll see the scars and cracks on his skin, the falling and getting hurt despite the fear, the burning and constant searching for something, he’ll do it all over again—if it’s you.)
If someone were to ask him what forgiveness tastes like, he would utter your name—everything that he has ever longed for came in the form of you. And he fears that this longing will last forever even while you’re here, that this longing will grow even when he crumbles to dust, that this longing will outlive this body and weave life into the earth that swallows your existence.
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© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.
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