#talk anyways. why does it seem like even if it isnt easy for everyone else it seems like its at least POSSIBLE people will tell me oh that

[sydmarch]

no interest in any of my hobbies next to no concerts going on all summer feeling abandoned by the majority of the few irls I still have no idea where to meet new people to replace them now that I'm not part of the highly social hard partying sales culture I spent basically all of my post college life in anymore literally what reason is there to keep trying

[vtori73]

I don't like being a part of fandoms... a lot of them are annoying and seem weirdly entitled, and/or don't understand the actual thing they are consuming and make that everyone else's problem. I can't look at fandoms reactions to JJK too much, it annoys the PISS out of me. Even some critiques I've seen have been piss poor, someone literally said the female characters contribute nothing to the story and if you removed them the story wouldn't change and while I agree they could have more significance to the entire overall story that's NOT remotely the same as having no contribution to it whatsoever! A lot of things would be different story wise without various woman characters in it.

I also wish more people would recognize that it's entirely possible or even most likely that Gege is probably being censored by editors and such as well. My sister once mentioned to me how Jojo ba creator was actually trying to have a female lead sooner and one in particular (Giovanni) was actually supposed to be a girl but they wouldn't let him. So, taking that into consideration and the whole Maki ark I wouldn't be surprised if they basically were like "okay that's enough, focus on the men now," ESPECIALLY considering Gege doesn't really do fan service and how much shonen LOVES sexualizing female characters.

But, anyway, going back to the above, the story would actually be pretty different without some of the various female characters and I'm going to write out how and why here. First the big one being Maki, without Maki the Zenin clan would be alive still and that wouldn't be a great thing for the JJK world if they were and Naoya and curse Naoya wouldn't be dead either (technically her Mom killed human Naoya but still counts since you know, her mom is a woman). Without Nobara Mahito wouldn't have been as easy for Yuji and Todo to deal with, Mahito literally talks about how Nobara was a big threat to him and how she weakened him and if she hadn't who knows what would have happened to them (and no it hasn't been confirmed she's dead). Nobara had also become a big part of Yuji's life, she is one of the many people who has effected Yuji's state of mind and resolve (and before anyone goes " boo, girl character dying for boys character growth..." be honest you fuckers she is literally maybe the only female character thats "died/dispperaed for Yuji sake" while so many others have as well and are boys/men and so the critique doesn't really hold up anymore). Shoko is pretty important to the school and people around her due to being a healer (and that being a very rare skill) and a doctor, she isn't shown a lot and her role isnt as important to the story specifically but it would be a lie to say she isn't important to the characters around her and things would be change a bit if she wasn't there, I would need to reread her parts though to go into more detail. Mai also has a significant role to play in Maki's story and if she wasn't there I don't think Maki would exist as the character she is now. Mai dying for Makis story is not at all equivalent to the trope of woman dying for boys/mens character development because for one thing Maki is a girl (obviously), but it also important to note that if the gender of Mai was changed to a boy the whole story around them would have been drastically different and wouldn't work to the same degree if does with Mai. Sure some would probably like to have seen a brother sacrifice himself for his sister but the reason for it being due to a misogynistic household and her killing them all in revenge and as a promise to her sister would no longer be an event in play and thus not as strong an impact to the reader & story. Some might say, well maybe Maki could have just done it for herself instead of for her sister and... sure she could have but then that's a completely different character.

I could go on but I don't really feel the need to and also I'm getting tired of writing this. Anyway, the point is if you HONESTLY honestly think the girl/woman characters could just disappear from the story and we would still somehow get the SAME story I... I don't know what to say besides you obviously haven't actually read the story you supposedly are/were a fan of and maybe should just read something more simple next time (and maybe also stop reading comics aimed specifically at boys while ur at is as well).

Also, yeah I don't actually read/watch a lot of shonen because I don't expect manga/anime aimed at boys to appeal to me and it often doesn't.

Also, also, sort of related but I do find it funny that people still get upset enough to hate the story/creator or even just drop it when characters die or something even though this has been an established theme and story element for a while now. Again , fans are just too entitled and should just calm the fuck down.

And.. no, I will never claim JJK is progressive or feminists because it could do better BUT I also don't think it is nearly as bad as some people try to make it out to be. It's at best neutral to me and I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing, honestly I think it's all we can expect from a shonen tbh because of how censored they can be about not going over a certain line because it has to specifically be aimed at boys. And, look, maybe it's not censored but I have a hard time believing it hasn't been to some sort of degree when it comes to the woman characters considering all I've heard about how the editors and such are about girls/woman in general. Also, I know people want to be nice about it and even some will go so far as claim that it is racist or something to say Japan is uniquely sexist and while, yes, the world in general is sexist it's not wrong at all to say or point out that Japan DOES have a pretty big misogyny problem (like im talking about statistics/data). A lot of people just want to partake in Japanese media without actually having to critically think of where specifically it's coming from and what that might mean.

And, honestly it doesn't help that something I've noticed recently is how many aren't willing to acknowledge the possibility that a LOT of y'all fetishize Japan and Japanese culture (specifically in this case the manga/anime) similar to how kp0p fans are with their fav singers and such. But that's not the main point of this so I'm just going to stop there.

[wetmithrun]

Elaborate more on that Kakyoin Polnareff Jotaro dynamic? Esp Polnareff and Kakyoin. I love seeing a teenager bully an adult man

hi im so sorry this took like 2 business days i kept forgetting i got asks. i have dementia (editing to add . im sorry this kind of became a kakyoin analysis and thats really funny because hes actually my least fave in canon :') )

(another editing to add. this aint even a kakyoin analysis this is a life analysis . of everyone . holy shit. oh my god)

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnngg post below ;vv

anyway this is quite literally one of my favorite dynamics in jojo so far (these 3 but namely kakyoin and polnareff). i'm not a kakyoin or a jotaro expert but i like to think i am well versed in polnareffisms.

so as we know kakyoin never really socialized much growing up due to being a little freak weirdo who has a green monster. no hate 2 kakyoin but basically this means, in my opinion, he never developed a "real" personality because he had no one to reflect off of as a child and develop himself. and since we know that video games are one of his hobbies (and hes spent many hours playing that one particular racing game), i feel like he based some aspects of his personality on video game characters so often the shit he will say or do comes off as really uncanny and seems like something No Person In Real Life Would Ever Say Or Do

as a result he doesnt know how to talk to people or what's correct in social situations, ie when to be nice or when sarcasm is appropriate, or when to cry and feel sad etc. dont get me wrong, he understands sarcasm perfectly fine; in fact he got to fine-tune his sarcasm and rebuttal skills thanks to being one of dio's minions and living in that mansion where you have to be sharp as fuck or else the meanies are gonna tear you to shreds and not give a shit. another side effect of being a minion of dio, kakyoin also kind of became mean as hell. thats what happens when ur evil and also surrounded by mean evil people. once again, since he had no influences really growing up, he saw these people and became a social sponge and absorbed the way they talked to each other.

in short what im trying to say is, the little green booger is mean, awkward, Very strange, and still fumbling his way around relationships with other human people.

polnareff, on the VERY opposite end of this spectrum, grew up well socialized and very extraverted. he treats basically everyone like his friend as long as you dont insult him or hurt his feelings (which is amazingly easy to do) and in that case he'll either fight you or cry. it depends. or maybe both!

hes very in touch with his emotions and not afraid to express them; as a result whenever he Does experience a feeling he displays it Loudly and Dramatically. probably also because hes french.

as well as emotionally loud hes vocally loud. hes got a big mouth and a big voice and a big chest for it to resonate and echo around in. this was also very helpful for the environment he grew up in.

i personally headcanon that he grew up on a farm in rural france as sherry's sole guardian. they weren't in the meat business but rather animal products and crops. so think goats, cows, sheep, chickens- except they really didnt have all that much, because they grew up fairly poor. maybe 3 chickens and a rooster and like 2 sows (the pigs were used for truffle hunting if yall were wondering).

anyway this isnt a backstory post (but i can make one if wanted) so ill continue on with the social aspects.

another headcanon of mine is that jean's parents died when he was fairly young, somewhere between 12 and 14. so he had to take on the responsibility of a farm as well as raising sherry pretty early. subsequently, alongside being silly and flamboyant and easygoing, jean is always looking out for his friends and taking liabilities and feels responsible for nearly everything that happens. its why he was so hard on himself when something would go wrong during the trip to cairo; hes so used to being the caretaker, the one whose shoulders everything rests on, that when a disaster happens he gets in his own head about how he could have prevented it and its his fault for not doing so. (he took the deaths really hard.)

relating back to how emotional jean can be, hes also kind of like a Feelings Sonar. basically an empath supreme. he feels and reflects the energy of the people around him tenfold, which really sucks for him because the people hes around dont know how to be anything other than stressed out.

to kind of alleviate this he takes it upon himself to lighten the mood - nothing makes him feel better than making other people happy. so maybe he plays things up a little, acts a tiny more dramatic, gestures a little more, says off-color things at the wrong times. his antics almost never fail to at least get a grin, or even an eyeroll or a groan - hes content with that too.

he has a problem with boundaries though (both physical and emotional) so sometimes he pokes and prods too much, too far, anything to get a reaction; when someone snaps at him (usually nori) hes quick to escalate and take things to the extreme. (yea he experiences a wide range of emotions but no one ever said he could Control them or is even mature enough to try) its not uncommon to find nori and pol arguing with each other about something that started off as a joke, or even physically fighting (it usually doesnt get too bad, mostly shoves or 'roughhousing' but nori almost always wins because of hierophant) but sometimes if hes feeling silly or pathetic he'll hit nori w/ this face

and that usually (USUALLY) de-escalates the situation and they go back to being literal worsties.

also, honestly i think jotaro just doesnt care anymore. he finds pretty much everything annoying, those two especially. he doesnt quite get how or why theyre friends, or if they seem to hate each other so much, why do they still talk to each other.

speaking of jotaro. our very own mr kujo is somewhere in the middle between the two, emotions-wise. he often seems to be neutral to everything (on a good day), maybe even leaning towards annoyed or kinda pissed. something he would rather die before admitting though is that he actually does feel things, and hes not an apathetic monster of teenage hormones with the most serious resting bitch face since dio died.

usually his emotions are quite muted, even when he doesn't express them. physically, he might grunt, or his lips will twitch a millimeter, or he'll huff and sigh, or do that 'tch' thing or go yare yare and cross his arms. sometimes his face betrays him and thats what his trusty hat is for - he can easily pull the brim down over his face to hide any semblance of emotion cause he cant have bitches thinking he feels anything. (small note: polnareff has been forcing him to go hatless so he physically cannot hide his face. hes evil)

inside his head, its about the same. due to his quiet and reserved nature, he didnt talk about feelings or anything growing up and still doesnt now, so often when he feels something he cant figure it out or understand it, so he tends to bury it beneath apathy so he doesnt have to deal with something new - because that scares him. but jotaro cant be afraid, of course not, thats not allowed. if hes afraid, then what does that mean for everyone else?

aside from not being able to express himself properly, his emotions are hidden due in part to fear of vulnerability and being pulled apart, dissected like some kind of creature he took a scalpel to in middle school. (he went home and cried to holly that day.) mocked, ridiculed for being human and feeling things. anger, mostly, just anger. but that's something everyone feels, something men feel, so it's okay to get pissed off at the smallest things. that makes sense to jotaro at least.

as for his relationship with polnareff and kakyoin, they've helped him tremendously in his ordeal with emotions and expression. kakyoin's seemingly unafraid to be weird and bitter and sarcastic and uncanny (or maybe feels ... comfortable?) and jean's feelings, regardless of what they may be are always being aired out, conveyed in such intensity that even a stone wall like jotaro cant help but resonate in some kind of way.

the way polnareff and kakyoin so unabashedly dote on each other, hate each other, poke fun at each other, and encourage jotaro to do the same - well, maybe it has him coming out of his shell a bit. maybe sometimes he'll make a snide comment and catch polnareff off guard and flounder, or maybe sometimes he'll contribute to kakyoin's long, long rants about something he likes, maybe even chime in with more than a few sentences about his own interests.

........... so erm.

needless to say i think this is one of my favorite relationships in jojo ever and theyre all very healthy for each other. three weird kids who complete each other in almost every way and somehow manage to not kill each other in the process (though theyve come close)

so......... SO sorry about. all of that. let me know if you want me to elaborate on anything, dont be afraid to send another ask ;>>

[nibeul]

Ok, I know this will take a great deal of your time, but I was startled to see that socialism wont be able to benefit POC like us. I dont want a capitalist society, and socialism sounded appealing, but it seems like that isnt the case. I would always like to learn and understand more. If it's ok with you, are there any sources or posts that discusses this?

alright, it’s early morning hours and I’m tired but I’m up working anyways so I might as well answer this. I don’t have any linked sources atm because it’s actually not a topic that’s talked about a lot, though I’ll be grabbing some basic definitions from the dictionary and such. for the most part, I’ll be running with my own thoughts.

socialism and communism are political and economic theories. communism is the ultimate goal for a lot of people while socialism is the stepping stone to get there (aka socialism is the halfway to communism, in a broad sense). Below are your definitions for easy access:

now I’m going to assume that we’re talking about the US specifically. As of now, we know that the US is a capitalist society, I.e., market is controlled by private owners for profit instead of by the state. Surprisingly, China is also technically a capitalist society that is controlled by the communist part just in the way that it functions market wise (this is a broad generalization however, it’s a bit more complicated than that), so the argument that communism is bad because of countries like China, or that socialism is bad because of unions like the USSR (which.. also isn’t really socialist? it’s run by a communist party similar to China but it’s honestly authoritarian under the veil of “socialism”) isn’t really founded in fact.

(I apologize if you already know this information, I’m trying to make this as informative as possible so please bear with me) Imperial powers have actually intentionally meddled with growing socialist countries—I believe Brazil and Cuba are two examples of this, though again, it’s harder to find discussions on this because the US does a lot more censoring of its history than we’re led to believe/it just isn’t talked about as much thanks to propaganda/intentional framing—which has resulted in destabilization and makes the argument that socialism is inherently bad easier to make. That being said, communism and socialism aren’t the miracle “fix it” for all the issues the US has right now.

Now, I’m not going to claim that I have the end all know all on political/economic theories. I haven’t done extensive reading on these topics/systems and I’ve made some broad generalizations in order to get my point across in an err.. digestible manner? I don’t mean that in a condescending way, more so that if I tried to get into the nuance of everything I would confuse myself and probably everyone else reading because there’s a lot. With that cleared, socialism and communism are going to sound a lot more appealing than what we have going now (which is valid). That being said, capitalism is heavily engrained in US American society, and it’s going to take years to move toward that, assuming that it even gets to a point of acknowledgement with the higher ups.

The thing is, that’s probably not going to happen anytime soon. Why’s that? Because the US political spectrum actually leans heavily right. The biggest lie of the two party system (which I do not like at all, and I think a lot of US Americans actually share that sentiment) is that it shows the full scope of political ideology when in fact we have one of the smallest political scopes in the world. Most countries have multiple parties (Ireland is a pretty good example, it has its own problems but it’s definitely more politically diverse) but the US is unique in the fact that we only have two, which forces you to mold yourself to its constraints (which is a whole other issue). I don’t want to get too far into that, but you might be familiar with this image:

which I won’t flat out say is a clear cut, accurate representation of the current spectrum, but it does give you the general idea (it should come up if you search on Google). We are nowhere near being able to convert to a socialist or communist system, much less function properly with one because of our current political spectrum. That is the first issue to kinda clear because a lot of people assume it is just a shift that will happen? Which is definitely not how it will work, sorry that it took me a bit to get here but I wanted to clear some background information before making conclusions.

Now to get at the core of your question, why doesn’t socialism and communism benefit us (in a broad sense)? The simple answer is racism functions separately from capitalism and can survive on its own, hence why converting to socialism or communism doesn’t actually address the problem. Here’s another issue: white leftists are just as racist as white conservatives, they’re literally just more deceitful with their racism. When a good chunk of the people backing the movement are ignorant of their own biases, you encounter yet another problem. Communism and socialism do not fix racism, as much as people want to believe it does, changing the political and economic system a country functions with does not address the core root of an already inherently racist system. My end goal is the dismantling of the current system of white supremacy, and communism/socialism are not going to suddenly get us there.

[probably-haven]

after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

-

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 

Venti’s response to this: 

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 

-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 

-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

[standingappablog]

I have theories I would like to share with y’all:

-We are left not knowing the fate of Marty and Nora, so I have some ideas of what could have happened to them.

Nora:

1.The most obvious theory, and probably the most likely is that she is in fact dead. With Rachel talking about her in the past tense and wearing her old runners it seems like she died saving her in the shark attack. Rachel also mentions that “their story” doesn’t end well. She also references at the beginning of her interview about how she treated Nora. Perhaps she felt guilty about how she treated her in their last few weeks together.

2.Now this one I know seems like a reach but, the shark attack was staged by gretchen to get Nora off the island so the experiment isnt exposed to the girls. Nora “dies” in the attack, therefore Leah has no way of blaming her. So to everyone else Nora is dead, which is why Rachel speaks of her in the past tense. (Again I’m leaning towards the her actually dying in the shark attack)

3. Or Nora could be completely fine and wasn’t interviewed because she was an informant.

Martha:

1.Now really we don’t know what happens to her. (So what I’m about to say is complete speculation) The only hint that we get is Agent Young going through her things in an attempt to find blackmail against her family. This makes us assume that she is either dead or in critical condition. Out of all of the girls towards the end of the season, the two who seem to be struggling the most are Leah and Martha. Shaken up by killing a living creature and facing the reality that she was abused as a child, makes me think Marty may have tried hurting herself. Probably towards the end of their stay on the island. Marty’s parents presumably signed her up for a relaxing time away with her best friend. So Gretchen, needing blackmail against the family so they wont sue her for whatever happened to Marty, makes me believe something like this happened to her.

Or

2. Marty’s death could have been an accident like Noras and Janettes, how? There is many possibilities, I mean they are surviving on an deserted island so exposure, sickness falling from a high place..getting lost. Ect.

Shelby:

We are left with a lot of questions about Shelby.

Her ankle:

1. The First shot we see of her in the facility is her ankle, so when I finished watching the first time, I assumed she must have ran after Nora to help save Rachel, this one is easy to believe but her leg doesn’t look like it was bitten by a shark, there isn’t any visible wounds, so I’m doubtful of this possibility.Also her injury seems fresh enough and the girls where supposed to be on the island for three months, so I doubt she got it in the shark attack, which took place three weeks into their time on the island.

2.We know that Shelby was suspicious throughout her interview, so maybe she might have tried escaping the facility beforehand and was tackled?Or she fell? So this happening before hand could explain why the investigators mentioned they weren’t going to go easy on her in her interview. She was also described to be in a pretty fragile mental state, and they didn’t know what version of her they where going to get.

3. Shelby hurt her ankle trying to save Martha. Like I mentioned before Marty may have died or got badly injured by hurting herself. Maybe Shelby was there and tried saving her, somewhat similar to the situation with her friend Becca.

4.Another theory I saw was that Toni may have accidentally hurt her like she did Reagan. There has been a lot of speculation if Toni and Shelby are on good terms or not. Maybe Marty’s death/ injuries become a conflict between them since she was present. Or a conflict about something entirely different could have cuased her ankle injury

5.Or simply she could have just fallen before her rescue from the island lol. Though her ankle is the first shot we get of her in the facility. That’s what makes me think it’s significant.

Her hair:

1. The two possibilities that I could think of is that, her hair was just so matted and unkept by the end of the three months that there was just no salvaging it so it was shaved, or:

2.Shelbys hair seemed to be her form of releasing her frustration. We know that her mental health declines after the shark attack, so she may in upset/frustration cut it all off or continues to take chunks out of her hair as a form of release.

Leah and Shelby (+possibly Dot and Agent Young)

Leah:

1.After the shark attack, if Nora does die I think Leah will have a difficult time convincing the others, especially Rachel that Nora is some sort of agent.

2. The groups friend just died, so hearing from Leah that Nora was in on whatever is happening to them won’t be taken well. Certainly not by Rachel, I can imagine Leah saying this about Nora would make her furious. They will probably assume that she is once again having a mental break, and won’t listen to her.

3.Even if Nora doesn’t die, she was told to do as much as she can to keep everyone in the dark, so I wouldn’t put it past her making Leah look like she is going crazy.

Shelby:

1.At first I don’t think Shelby will believe Leah, but she will probably slowly begin to suspect things like Leah did. The two have an understanding, as we where shown, Shelby knows what it feels like to breakdown, and have everyone think they are crazy. But she knows in that moment she isn’t crazy, and neither is Leah. So when she is rescued and quarantined in the facility it will probably convince her completely.

Anaphylactic shock:

1.Shelby going into anaphylactic shock. How did she even go into anaphylactic shock? Where they given food in their rooms and Gretchen would have to have known that she is allergic. Right?

2.I think Shelby left a time on the note to Leah for her to escape. She maybe was able to order shellfish to her room, and then would eat it during the time Leah was going to escape.

Or:

1. I think MAYBE Shelby and Dot figured out what was going on before being rescued. We see that Dot orders a plate of seafood, which she barely touches. What if somehow Dot got the seafood to Shelby, maybe by leaving it underneath the table and shelby taking it back to her room after her interview. So when Leah tries to escape she eats the seafood, which sets off the alarm and distracts the guards. And with Shelby leaving a time on the note for Leah to escape, she would know when to eat the Seafood. (Another reach I know)

And:

-Agent Young could also have helped them. We saw that he sympathised with the girls and that he was the one keeping tabs on all of them. Maybe he knowingly let the girls do this without telling anyone, making it easier for them to pass notes and for Leah to escape.

They all know:

-Another possibility is that Leah somehow convinces the others that something is going on. And plan out how to figure out what really is going on. All of the girls get their stories straight, and they purposely leave out parts that could be used against them. Playing the investigators. I’m less inclined to believe this one since Shelby gave the note to Leah telling her she was right all along, why would she do that if they all knew anyways?

Toni and Shelby:

I think a lot of us suspect that the twos releationship is a little rocky by the time they get to the facility. (I have another post explaining why I think they aren’t on good terms currently)

1.Like I mentioned before Toni and Shelbys conflict may involve Marty, with her dying or hurting herself, Toni who we have seen can have huge outbursts when she is upset, could blame Shelby for not doing enough ,because maybe she was present when it happened. So maybe Toni irrationally blames Shelby for whatever happened to Marty.

2.This irrational anger could also be the cause of Shelbys ankle injury. Of course I don’t think Toni would ever purposely hurt Shelby, but she could accidentally, just as she did with her previous girlfriend.

3.A theory I’ve seen suggested a few times is that, they staged their break up to protect each other. If they seem like they aren’t together anymore to the investigators, they can’t be used against one another. (I personally think this one is hella cute)

4. Another possible conflict is Tonis anger issues affecting their relationship just as it did with Reagan, Tonis outbursts may be too much for Shelby and that may become an issue.

5. Shelby not being able to come to terms with her sexuality. This one isn’t as likely, because as far as everyone is concerned they are stuck on the island for god knows how long. The idea of not going home any time soon only seems to make Shelby want to explore herself more. And everyone I feel like would be completely supportive.

Although:

-Martha may have an issue, not with the fact that they are together but more that when they found food instead of taking it back to everyone, they hooked up. Leaving Martha to kill the goat by herself, when she really didn’t need to. Maybe this could lead to Toni having to choose who’s side to take, her girlfriend or best friend. (Martha has “you and us” mentality with Shelby after her homophobic remarks. Toni also has told Martha “since when where there sides?”)

Annnnnnddd that is all, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I felt like typing it all out, I’d love to know what everyone thinks and your theories!

[antiloreolympus]

13 Anti LO Asks

1. ok but thats seriously what bugs me so much about LO, it never actually lets serious moments be serious, it's always lampooned by rachel's insistent need to force in her juvenile "humor" and never actually depicting how pressing things are. even the following moments from persephone's r//pe was undercut by hades making stupid puns! i understand if rachel cant write something more serious than "[x] is bad" but if thats so, then dont try it? because thats how you end up with this pretentious mess.

2. since when did lo hades have earrings??? i legit do not remember this ever being a thing??? is he trying to be hip with the kids 😭my man you still look like a crusty old man the earrings arent helping 😭

3. lo hermes looks and acts like flaky from happy tree friends and no thats not a compliment (TW for gore, blood, and violence if any of you google it)

4. Even though the earlier art style was better there are still some cursed panels from the earlier pages that still haunt me. Especially the way Persephone was drawn differently in so many of the panels.

5. lo hades has such "how do you do fellow kids" energy and im not sure why

6. im also confused on the fertility goddess stuff because how stupid is persephone if she didnt notice? she can create life and nature without even thinking and shes implied to be a genius in biology, so how would she not even notice this? if RS really wants to go with this plot, then why have her professor bring it up in class? why not show persephone going to her uni's library to research the topic and pouring over it? that's an easy way to show persephone's intelligence, yet LO doesnt even try.

7. What I wanna know in LO was how Demeter and Hestia were compensated after the war. The three brothers got to be kings and Hera is queen, but what we know of Demeter is that she had a millionaire dollar business that’s probably made it on its own (unless she was helped out) and then Hestia all we really know about her is that she runs that TOGEM and idk if there’s only 4 of them, Hestia really had a group by herself for a bit since Athena is Zeus’ (assumed) daughter, Artemis (Zeus’ assumed daughter) and persphone (newest member) which seems shitty since they won a war together

8. I think what happened with LO’s art style was RS got “lazy” (I’m lacking the right word). I feel like without the colors all of the men in LO have the same body type, and Hermès and Apollo may even have the same face if they smile the same. So to compensate for that lack of body diversity, RS doubled down on Hades’ features to make him stand out more to really show he’s the male lead. However, even in her own words he looks like Persphones’ “dusty ass dad”

The women use to be a little different but they’re all starting to blend with body types. Her was small, but now she’s short and busty like Persphone. RS makes Persphone look short and busty all the time but almost childlike. Minthe was skinny but her last moments she was busy. Aphrodite I feel was just busty but then tried to make her look small also with Ares and Hades beside her. Hestia stayed the same but is still small and busty. Athena was tall and thin (?) but now she’s tall but busty (and her relationship with Hestia looks like it mirrors HXP). Idk I just feel like the longer screen time the female characters get the more they start mirroring Persphone’s look. Like even Artemis was getting empathized on being small next to her brother Apollo. Like all the girls gotta look small but curvy as the story goes on. 

9. Demeter: watched her friend get ripped in half. Watched her friend get continually cheated on, paying the price for not hiding a mistress , watched metis get eaten, her back clawed, fought in a war. Later made a daughter who’s a fertility goddess (probably an accident) and now has to raise her. That same daughter then went on a rampage and isn’t really remorseful

Fans: Demeter is such an overbearing mother who gets in the way of our ship.

10. on regards to ace characters, asexuality is a spectrum like everything else, so a lot of asexuals actually do enjoy and have sex, so the maidens doing so isnt inherently a problem, its the fact rachel is clearly viewing it through a strict binary where she assumes asexuality is something that can be "fixed" over time/when the right person comes along. its also a bad modern reading of it, as "virginity" in an ancient sense meant via marriage, not via sex, but I doubt rachel cares to factcheck it.

11. Imagine an elf is given a job to do at a human institution. The humans think elves don’t need bathroom breaks, since they know they can hold it for days, but this elf has been traveling to reach their job, and has already been holding it to the point they are in pain. They ask for a break, but their job is important and time sensitive, so they admit they can still hold it when asked. After a full day of work, the elf tries to reach the bathroom in time, but they were never told where it is.

From OP: I think this might be a nymph allegory? Anon never specified so I'll put this here anyway.

12. ya know if hades has to lie to make apollo seem worse (who does not need much in this comic) its like??? why is he persephone's lawyer then?? lawyers are literally told not to lie, this is basic law 101. thats why they dont want their clients to mention to them if they actually did the crimes because then the lawyers have to say it in court. if hades lies so casually just to keep persephone away from justified punishment, then thats bad actually!  both in being a decent person and as a lawyer!

From OP: Hades didn’t lie but he was definitely out of line. RS liked a tweet saying that the wife thing was “subconscious” so it probably was. (Still doesn’t make it right but I doubt he’d say those things on the stand.)

13. I know Minthe was written in a way she was suppose to be unlikesable, she’s rude, she yells and she doesn’t hesistate. HOWEVER RS wrote her character badly. Minthe is so unliked? How was she able to be a bad gf to hades and Thanatos? Like yes it’s an affair but how was she able to pull 2 gods?! We don’t hear Hades or Thanatos say what they like about her BUT they both still had a fling with her. (Honestly I feel it’s cause RS can’t bare writing one nice thing about the female anatangoist without trying to make Persphone look good)

The other thing bothering me was everyone knew about her relationship with Hades after she put it on fatesbook, but everyone talked about the kiss in such a positive light IN FRONT OF HER. Aren’t they suppose to be scared of her? Why did the girls in the yoga class/dress shop had so much to say about that kiss? Because they knew persphone? Did they know every other detail too? What was their actual beef with Minthe?

I feel like realistically some more characters would have sympathy for Minthe if they didn’t know her that well because of Hera. Everyone knows Hera is a pill to deal with and she’s the goddess of marriage who hasn’t really tried bringing Minthe and Hades to the alter. That right there should let everyone know that Hera probably doesn’t help the situation.

Idk, I feel like RS could have gone deeper and made the character not such HXP shippers cause most people wouldn’t cheer for cheating nor an old ass guy getting with a 19 year old. (Idk how fast the news of the slap spread, but I doubt it made it to every place in their fictional world)

[yoichichi]

Pretty People Supremacy Playlist 🖤

for my angel @1010andneji , I hope you love it 🖤

disclaimers: fem!reader, because this a request for someone with she/her pronouns, I believe the reader is referred to as she/her a few times, Kenma is aged up and this is based in him attending University just to be clear‼️

warning: it gets a little saucy in the make out department ?

gif not mine, credit to owner

a/n: ahhhhh!!! I’m sorry this took so long and I really hope you like it and you felt like it was worth the wait! Please let me know if you need me to change anything ‼️ i luv you bae 😔✊🏼 also thank you to my wife @ikigaitooru for helping me choose your matchup here! I was stuck between one other person but we ultimately decided on Kenma, we both believe he exhibits prime quiet himbo energy :) also I kind of went off and wrote a lot on this one 😶 sorry I think? Regardless, I hope you enjoy!!!

Relationship Headcannons

Ok so ultimately, I paired you together NOT just cause you thinks he’s pretty but I think you guys would be so good together!! Like you would be so good for him

You guys would balance each other out socially and just be the best pair to hang out with pleaseee

He knows he can be stupid and chaotic with you and you know you can let yourself wind down with him!!

Kenma CAN be blunt sometimes so I’m sure he’d have to catch onto your sensitivity at first, but he’d be so sincere if he ever accidentally said or did anything that made you feel some type of way

And once he is aware of your sensitivity he’s constantly reassuring you in little ways, not only that he understands and is trying to comfort you but just to reassure you he loves you, for example :

HAND SQUEEZES

I know some people have mentioned that he wouldn’t be into PDA but I disagree! It’s just not in the conventional let me be all over you types of PDA

I feel like it’s just not a big deal to him cause he’s like 🤨 what do I have to be embarrassed for?? This my mf baby and I’m gonna hold her hand if I want to ??

Like, I see him as a big hand holder frfr

He would just see it as such an easy way to be physically close to you and even if that’s just holding pinky’s he’s down!

It would also help him if he’s feeling anxious!

Like he’d fiddle with your hands and fingers if he’s feeling particularly antsy or nervous

OH

You guys are out and he wants to go in a different direction? He’s definitely bringing your hand to his lips to give a quick peck and pull you along

“C’mon, let’s look over here”

AND HES SO NONCHALANT ABOUT IT TOO LIKE HE JUST DOESNT QUITE REALIZE THE EFFECT HE HAS ON YOU WHEN HE DOES THAT (he totally does but he likes to be slick and act like he doesn’t 🙄)

He would also DEFINITELY let you play with his hands if you’re nervous or bored or whatever reason honestly, he’d find it soothing and knows it occupies you or fills a need (and you get to look at pretty Kenma hands c’mon now)

ANYWAYS there are other little ways he’d reassure you too besides hand squeezes and holding

Definitely the type to leave you little notes in places for you to find them and they’d always say such simple things like “hi- kenma <3” LMAOOOO PLS HES TRYING HIS BEST

I think the final biggest way he’d love to reassure you would be words of affirmation (this is definitely a private thing)

I think he’d still deliver them in a blunt manner but that’s how you know he’s sincere!

You two would just be chilling at his place and you’d do something simple like, ask how much water he’s drank today or play with his hair and tell him he shouldn’t overwork himself and he’d just look at you so seriously and be like, “I really appreciate you, you know that?”

And it’d be sort of deadpan but like !!!

And he’d just kiss your hand after - always the palm - and then he’d just press his cheek into your hand before kissing it one more time and moving on like that literally just didn’t happen KENMA KING OF HAND KISSES

Okok moving on before I get stuck on his hands again anskdkdksiaj

So we don’t talk about himbo Kenma enough!!!! Like ok

He’s NOT big and ripped like ya know Bokuto and he seems super smart but I’m telling you this man is a quiet clueless himbo ‼️

You can’t tell me you’d be talking on and on about biology or something and he’d just have this little lost look in his eye while he’s nodding along and smiling softly listening to you talk and you’re like ,,??

“Wait, do you even understand what I’m saying?”

And he’d really just be like no :)

“but your eyes are really pretty and I like watching your lips move while you talk :) (this man is also a king of innocent flirting and you can’t tell me otherwise!!!)

OMG and if you’re even the slightest bit flustered by his comment he WILL notice and he’ll do his best to hide his sly little smile and just grab one of your hands and squeeze it and be like, “keep going, I’m listening”

KENMA HIMBO NATION RISE

Ok ALSO you two would literally just be such a pretty couple? Just like so pleasing to look at????? Like you’re both so pretty it’s unfair! And your style OMG

Like you’re just so soft like the epitome of 🦋✨👼☁️☺️ girl and 🎮🎱🖤👾🌙 boy ykwim???

and his long hair PLS Kenma man bun supremacy 🙌🏼

I can’t stress enough how pretty you two would be it would just make sense seeing you two together ugh

UGH you dying Kenmas hair for him?? And he’d just sit cross legged in a chair while you do it and he keeps leaning and moving to wherever you are around him cause your hands are in his hair and it’s so soothing!! What’s he supposed to do??

“Kenma, stay still you’re gonna bet bleach on my shirt!”

“But didn’t you wear that in case bleach did get on it?”

“Kenma-“

“I’m just saying if that’s the case then I don’t understand why I can’t hug you while you bleach my hair? 🤨”

“😐”

“Ok so-“

“Kenma.”

“😒”

Yeah queue pouty Kenma acting indifferent 🙄✋🏼

Just give him a kiss on his nose and he’ll get over it even though he’ll feign his grumpiness to get treated like a baby a little bit longer

UGH PLS I GOTTA STOP I COULD GO ON FOREVER

Bottom line, Kenma’s your quiet little himbo and you’re his loud soft girlfriend, and it’s one of the most adorable things ever

Ok, so we’re finally to what you came for LMAO, your playlist!

OKOK so similar to the first one I made, there’s no theme besides music taste so I tried to make this like a soundtrack of your guys relationship if that makes sense?

I really hope you enjoy and please let me know if you need any changes or would like to be paired up with someone else 🖤‼️ Without further ado, your songs and explanations!

1. Siren - Kailee Morgue: ok I think this one still kind of fits the vibe you’re looking for but you can’t tell me Kenma didn’t see you as some bewitching vixen who’s caught his attention LMAO like he’s just like 👁👄👁 she’s so pretty and entrancing help me! and he’d try to be like haha I’m cool I’m cool I’m fine 😎🥴😎 but it’s so obvious he likes you too (you’d kind of be able to tell with the way he looks at you and how it took so long for the blush to leave his neck and ears whenever he’d talk to you) but he just really decides he has no choice in the matter, he wants you so bad LMAO

2. Juice - iyla: more off the first one, the way you just appeared into Kenmas life LMAO like he saw you and just 😳🥴😍‼️ and once he started to feel real feelings he’d be so 🏃‍♂️💨 WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE COME FROM??? But he wants you so BAD he can’t do anything about it, and now not only does he just want you 😳 but he wants you and he wants to be yours , pls he has it hard

3. See You Again (feat. Kali Uchis) - Tyler, The Creator: ok this is like THE song to your guys relationship just UGH I know you two would have such pining. Kenma would DEFINITELY be nervous to even talk to you at first cause he’s definitely like 🥴 she’s prettt hhng and he’s so shy and you just have such HEART EYES over him and you don’t even hide it that well LMAO (“it’s them rose colored cheeks yeah it’s them dirt colored eyes 😔😩”- u @ him) and it just makes him so NERVOUS!! But you two would definitely dance around it for a bit like you’d just be so 😍‼️ He’s pretty and shy hehe I like him gimme gimme 😍 and he’d be so flustered by it at first until you guys FINALLY get over yourselves (when kenma stops being a baby LMAO) like you guys jus wanna kiss so bad and literally everyone’s like JUST FUCKING DO IT, SHIT it’s adorable really

4. Doves In The Wind (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - SZA: ok I know this song is kinda saucy an idk if it’s overplayed but listen YOU CANT TELL ME THIS ISNT KENMAS FUCKING ANTHEM!! like he jus absolutely jams to this song definitely a sza stan and loves playing vibey music like hers during his gaming sessions but like the way he would worship the ground you walk on and be like mf im HERS do not get it twisted, in no way does she belong to me buT THE WAY I BELONG TO HER WHEW ‼️

5. Moment - Victoria Monét: ok why do I feel like most of the songs I added on here are vaguely steamy LMAO but ok this song? Yeah whew 💨 this is definitely one of those songs that play while you two would be lazily making out with those little led lights on (you just know kenma has those) and you two would just be laying there and know this is one of those moments you guys are never gonna forget. Your hands are just roaming and caressing each other while your lips are locked and you guys are so breathless and it’s just wow, you guys must have manifested each other cause this moment is so perfect between you two. And even though it’s a little sloppy it’s so intimate and you both feel like you’re living in a dream. messy hair flushed Kenma whos breathing heavy? Yeah I think so

6. Deep Cuts - Healy: Kenma is always trying his hardest to be the best he can when he loves something. We know this we’ve all seen him and Tora when it comes to volleyball and the way he gets with Hinata. And this wouldn’t change when it comes to your guys relationship, he is constantly going to be putting in his best effort to get to know you better, be the best boyfriend he can be to you and make you feel as loved as he can. He’s memorized everything there is to know about you and sometimes he gets lost in that and it makes him insecure about himself from his overthinking (you can’t tell me he’s not a chronic overthinker) and he’d forget to just enjoy himself sometimes. Like Kenma stop stressing, you can relax when you hold her hand. But he’d reach this point with you when he’d probably be being a bit difficult and you’d just make him feel so loved. He had been overworking himself again, which you HATED. You could tell from the bags under his eyes and the way his hair was messily pulled back into a low bun and the way the neckline of his hoodie showed he wasn’t even wearing a shirt underneath. But it was date night!! So what if he was tired and overworked quality time is important to you!!! I mean, that’s what he’s thinking. But you would just pull him into a hug and kiss his forehead and start to undress into comfy clothes and he’d be so confused like ?? Uhm, date night?? And you’d just pull him to your shared bed by his sleeve and under the covers and into your arms while you just kissed the top of his head. You’d take his hair out of his bun and run your fingers through it getting rid of some of the tangles and just be so CARING to him. “Let’s just stay in, you’re tired and I’d rather lay with you while you get some sleep, we can always go out another time.” Yeah he’s in love that’s it ‼️ you make him feel like he’s exactly enough for you as he is and that’s all he wants pls tbis is so long and for what??? Like this could be a Drabble in itself??? Anyways

7. Easy - DaniLeigh: you guys are definitely an exclusive couple but you really show Kenma what it means to just take it slow and relax! After the date night (deep cuts) he knows it’s ok to just relax into your guys love and he doesn’t have to force or rush anything cause it all comes naturally. Secondly , the WAY THIS BOY MAKES YOU FEEL - he just always looks at you with these deep eyes that hold so much love and it makes you feel so exposed every time cause he just loves you so much and it’s so intense l. It makes your face heat up cause he so clearly thinks your perfect. Also, this just gives total late night ride vibes. Kenma would definitely be driving on the freeway and this song comes on and he just places his hand on your thigh while he’s driving and he’s humming along to this song and he can feel you staring at him so he just casts you a quick side glance and goes “hmmm?” And you’re like 👁👄👁 nothing (Kenma is the king of late night car ride music fr)

8. CPR - Summer Walker: ok I don’t even need to explain myself with this one, the song is so self explanatory! You just make each other feel so at home. Point blank ‼️ like Kenma will just think back like 😇 where would I be without this bitch the thought makes him truly sad and he likes to avoid it at all costs

9. Rain - Lucy Park: pls this song is so soft (I hope it fits the vibe ahhh!!) but this is just more of kenma being an absolute softy for you LMAO. He’s not very good at taking care of himself sometimes and you’re always there to be like 😡‼️ NO‼️ and it makes him so soft he can’t help it, it’s not that he does it on purpose cause that’s insane but the fact you know his limits when even he doesn’t sometimes blows his mind and he’s never felt more loved than in those moments (let’s bring up Deep Cuts again 🙄✋🏼 pls this boy just needs someone soft to put him in his place LOL)

10. moonlight - dhruv: ok but when Kenma knows he’s in love with you, he has to tell you. And what better way to tell you than, well, tell you. He’d definitely try to plan it in his head to be perfect like ok what’s her favorite place? Where’d we first meet? Should I tell her there? Should our song be playing in the background? Kenma, your himbo and over thinker tendencies are showing, just tell her already! It’d be early in the morning, and you two are making breakfast together while he’s listening to you ramble on about the recent events of your favorite show and he’s just smiling and nodding, doing his best to recall the other plot points that have happened. And you, distracted with your ranting, go to take a bite of your freshly made breakfast- which is still scalding hot. You IMMEDIATELY start panting and drop your fork, running over to the faucet and shoving your head under it doing your best to soothe your mouth with the cold water. And Kenma feels awful, but this is fucking hilarious. So sure he’s holding your hair back so you can really get that water but he’s dying in the process. Almost keeled over and gripping at his stomach type laughter and you’re swatting at him to no avail and he just can’t help himself, “oh, fuck I love you.” He said it between his gasps of air from laughing and didn’t even realize it. Not until you stood up fully with water still dripping off your chin just looking at him. This idiot immediately started apologizing like omg this isn’t how I wanted to say it ahhhh but you assure him this was perfect, and that you love him too (pls love this man he can’t help but love you too)

11. Easily - Bruno Major: does this count as angst? ok call back to Kenma being an overthinker who overworks himself and probably overlooks his own needs at times, there’s bound to be some tension between you two at times. You’re concerned about his health and he insists he’s fine but you know he’s not, and while I don’t ever see him blowing up on you I could see little arguments about his self-care habits. Sometimes he stays up too late, or he’s stressing himself over something that doesn’t need that much thought! Regardless, he knows you just love him and he does the same thing for you and he just needs to get better at not being so stubborn when it comes to taking care of himself. And he just hopes that you know he loves you and appreciates what you do for him even though it doesn’t seem like it all the time, and that hopefully you won’t give up on him.

12. Streets - Doja Cat: ok I added this one mainly for the vibes but like you can’t tell me Kenma isn’t pined over in university LMAO. Like he’s pretty and polite but also indifferent, mentally ill bitches eat that shit UP; and there’s PLENTY of those in university LMAO. And like you aren’t a toxic possessive person don’t worry but MAN he’s fighting these girls off with a stick at this point LMAO and he just doesn’t get it pls, like he’d definitely be the partner in an assignment who just comes prepared and is kind of quiet to a fault but is so nice and just gets his shit done. Would also offer a pencil if you forgot one and maybe I’m just a whore but that gets me everytime 😌

13. Kiss U Right Now - Duckwrth: ok mainly for the vibes but !!! You and Kenma in the kitchen cooking and this song comes on and he comes up behind you and turns you around and your faces are all close and he keeps singing “I think I wanna kiss u” and smirking but he’s just ghosting his lips over yours instead and moving his head back every time you try to kiss him and giggling before doing it all over again! giggly Kenma supremacy

14. Butterfly - UMI: ok we been talking about how much Kenma would be devoted to you, but like you wouldn’t be the same!!!! Kenma means so much to you and you do your best to show your care and all you wanna do is see him happy as much as he wants the same for you, omg you guys are so in love it’s gross 🤢

15. Pick Up Your Phone - Hojean: what more can I say!!! You guys just love each other and love spending as much time together as you can!! (I like ending these playlists with a really happy mood :) )

——————

Here it is! Thank you for being so patient and I really hope you like this! I always get nervous posting for my baby’s 🖤 love you cutie!

-🐇out

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

[practicalmagicintuitions]

Here is the Chris Reading for the anons asking for it:

I’ve placed a whole bunch of things down for this one. You guys wanted general, so until I could hone in on something, I had to just test the waters on all things. (I’m not following him so I don’t know what’s going on at all) if you guys notice something in this reading that you think could be symbolism for something you actually know of in his life, let me know! :)

I was asked for General, how he feels about relationships, how he feels about marriage, career? And love life.

1. I put down Chris

2. Being in a relationship” second. BIAR Wanted to be in front of Chris, Chris also wanted it there

3. Career was confused where to go, Being in a relationship was in the way. Career decided it’s gonna jam itself between them. (Already this is super telling.)

4. Being Single - single was attached to career, it wanted to stay with career it wouldn’t move elsewhere

5. Family are right behind Chris, (good that’s where they should be. Doesn’t look like any animosity atm)

6. Strangely, marriage wanted to be in front of in a relationship……..? That’s gonna be a fun one to figure out.

7. “Having kids” is behind him, past family and on the left (it’s the furthest placement away so far”

Chris is staring ahead at Career, single, BIAR and single. They’re all in a line.

Chris is staring straight at career. I can’t feel anything from him besides the fact that this big brick wall called a career is in front of him. I see nothing past that. “Single” though, rather than seeming as big as career, seems to represent itself as a little flag thats just been pressed into the side of the brick wall, single isnt giving me any feeling either.

That being said, the career brick wall is not intimidating. It’s just more like he’s looking up at it like, “huh. Big guy” he has the need to climb over it.

Yeah, listen this wall is a wall but he’s not trying duck his head to the side and see past it, he just has the need to jump over this brick wall. The wall is maybe 7 foot tall, so in comparison to himself and how big he feels in this scenario (he feels his normal 6 foot self) he absolutely could. But it’s just interesting that what I’m seeing/feeling is a brick wall that’s like 5 foot in length and yet he has no desire to just bypass it and go to the side, he wants to climb the fucking thing?

Chris stans, tell me what the HELL that is about. You know him better than I. Does he like the competition or accomplishment? Does he feel he needs to prove himself the hard way?

Anyway, he’s pretty confident he can jump this wall. And single is not even a thing to him in its current position.

He’s thinking very hard about how to jump this wall. Like he knows how, you lift yourself up and jump over it I can see that image in my head very easy, but he’s struggling to actually DO it?

Nope, ok he doesn’t want to.

He knows he can jump it, he knows it’s blocking everything else, but I go to take an action for him and he’s like “nah I’m good tho”

Seems a fitting time to put in “anxiety.”

I laughed out loud when I had to place anxiety. Take a wild guess where it felt it needed to be?

You bet chya, it’s on the wall.

And then it couldn’t make up its mind. Officially I’ve placed it on the wall together with “single” and “career” but the energy for anxiety is actually that’s it’s jumping in front of the wall, to on the wall, to behind the wall and it keeps doing that. Just back and forth.

Makes total sense as to why he can’t cross this wall.

Now that anxiety is there he doesn’t want to look in its direction at all.

He’s gotten a bit warm and a bit of a headache too now, and a bit dizzy. The headache is real present.

The good news is in these situations where someone can’t move due to anxiety or otherwise, it’s always a good time to place supports, so the person can feel supported to do the thing they want and move forward. Luckily, his family are already placed behind him, they seem to really love him, so it’s just about me utilising that now.

This part I’m going to do more privately (as in I won’t type it) cause this would be a personal thing (maybe even generational thing) that he needs to move through with his family in order for them to feel that support. His anxiety didn’t come from nowhere. That being said I’m also not going to do a whole ass constellation with him cause 1. He’s not here and 2. It would take hours.

All I’ll say is his mum is a MASSIVE support for him, and also……. 😬 kinda swamping him a bit. He doesn’t mind it, it’s actually very comforted, but she truly is just physically in this reading SWAMPING him. An outsider could see that she’s maybe a bit too involved with his life.. which isn’t great for a fully grown man. But, he finds it comforting, what are ya gonna do. Clearly he doesn’t want it to end… :/

(For reading purposes So it’s not just jumping, I took about 5 minutes with him and his family to help move past anxiety, his family love the crap out of the guy it’s real cute.)

I thought this was important to note:

What Career feels in relation to CE:

Very big, bulky, serious. Reminds me a bit of Wilson Fisk from into the spider verse. Just very big, bulky, serious a bit of a bully. Not gonna move. You’re gonna do what I tell you. Restrictive. That kind of energy. It doesn’t HATE him, but it has rules. And Chris is gonna follow them. (That’s a threat) it also feels like within career is actually a powerful male that kinda owns his ass? Not sure who that could be, once again CE stans, gimme the tea.

For the next part I might… get in trouble. I know that when it comes to the talk of relationships no one likes to hear it. Don’t kill the messenger here you guys:

he has his back TURNED from “single”

I could encourage him to look everywhich other way for any other representative, but single? Back turned.

Doesn’t wanna look at it.

Single on the other hand is kinda looking at him like a little kid like :) hi Chris look pls. Chris! Pls :) Chris look at me Chris pls :) Chrissy! Take a look!

For whatever reason “single” in this reading is feeling very adolescent. Maybe he feels that being single isn’t a grown up thing to do anymore? (I forgot to mention, the things in the field take on the energy of the person it’s focused on, not necessarily how it is perceived by EVERYONE in the world, only how it’s perceived or how it acts in relation to the client. Single to ME might be a knight in shining armor that protects me, Single to Chris seems adolescent.

So, Chris is looking at both “marriage” and “being in a relationship” he’s not feeling particularly drawn towards either, but he is giving a lot more attention to “being in a relationship” than marriage.

Which is weird, cause if you don’t want single, yet you don’t want relationship, what do you want?

I have now brought in “situationship” “flirting w/ someone” and “fwb”

situationship is closest, but doesn’t have his full attention, as it’s to the left side of him at an Angle. FWB is just behind situationship but more aligned to be in front of his eyesight, and flirting with someone is on the right from him, at an angle and is the furthest of the three.

Ok, FWB feels the most comfortable for him, he actually took a step towards it. He’s not feeling super fond of any of the three in any way, but FWB is nice it’s comforting, he’s.. semi happy? It’s not even really happy… it’s just like “doing ok!This is ok! This is comfortable.”

He’s side eyeing the shit out of “situationship” though and is anxious at how close it is. He doesn’t actually want the situationship there, but it’s close now and it’s not moving, and he’s having a bit of anxiety about it. He can’t stop looking at it though. FWB is immediate comfort, situationship is SO ANXIETY INDUCING but it’s also more interesting to look at?

(Chris get therapy 🙄)

Flirting with someone is out of the picture, been there, done that doesn’t care about it. (Could be that he’s already gone through the flirting stage with someone that’s why it’s of no interest to him)

Now that he’s finding situationship more interesting, he’s looking past FWB and to “being in a relationship” which he also finds nicer to look at. The thought coming up is “that would be nice” but in a wistful way.

Marriage is still right out, we’re not looking at marriage.

I’m gonna move relationship closer to situationship to see if he feels better or worse.

Lmao ok, I put them both together and imagined situation ship and relationship being close, like they’re holding hands. In his mind, situationship is a cute little brunette that’s like 5’4 and “being in a relationship” is built like an Amazonian 6’5 goddess and he’s both in awe, yet intimidated a bit, but also not hating it, but the only thought that came up was “ahhhhh…. Fuck.”

Two thoughts came up but they both got crossed out before he could finish it.

“I don’t want-“

“I’m not ready……..-“

And now he just keeps hesitantly saying relationship over and over again but he’s saying it like he’s brand new to the word, like he’s trying to find the word for the word - yet he’s already speaking it??

And now it’s just a flatlining “😐 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……”

Sat with this for a while and didn’t have much movement so time to move to:

Question time:

Q: Chris.. are you in a situationship?

I don’t know what I’m in

Q: Ok. Are you… sleeping with someone

Yeah

Q: Are you FWB?

He’s hesitant? Like he’s not sure. That word doesn’t seem to fit what he’s up to atm. He seems very confused about what he’s in.

Q: Are you going on dates with someone?

I’m going on dates

Q: With many people or just one?

Just…. One… (not sure why he was hesitant about telling me, but I feel like I’m starting to cross on something I’m not meant to talk about, so I’m ending it here. If he wants to keep it to himself, he is absolutely in his right to do so)

I will say when He said just one, a person did show up: brown hair, she’s shorter than him (but that’s obvious) and she’s slender and kinda perky. When I see her she looks like she’s fun! I saw her dancing around a bit. I liked her energy.

Sound like anyone you guys know?

Note: this is where I’ve ended it. Wasn’t gonna push on it he was getting more and more hesitant it’s not my place to push anything that he doesn’t want me to access. Now that we’ve created the focus though it will be easier to go from there :)

Hopefully that covered it for the anons that asked :) I’m over @energyanon to anyone that needs anything clarified.

Thank you for doing this @energyanon ! Your gift is amazing and thank you for your dedication!

[ectora]

REVIEW 311

Screen time

Macy : 23m26s

Maggie : 20m07s

Mel : 18m25s

Harry : 13m20s

Abigael : 5m02s

Jordan : 4m28s

Here is a table with the details of the time shared

Opinions

In a general manner I enjoyed the episode. It was entertaining and well passed. I don’t think it was their strongest episode so far but it was an entertaining one. It finally started to connect the other characters to the main storyline but also felt almost like a filler for the sisters. I also think the show should have maybe showed more consequences and different good things for the sisters. Because except for Mel (and I’ll come back to that later), the good things that happened to Maggie and Macy are pretty normal. It’s not like Maggie didn’t work for that internship. It’s not like a free legal clinic would get bad press. Or that it can’t happen to be upgraded in a hotel. Like yes what happened to antonio and that old man was really bad but at the same time it just didn’t feel like the sisters were gaining that much from it. Maybe if they had sticked to only it being the consequences of what they had to do to get the allergy off or something, rather than good things that could have normally happened, happening. I’m not sure that nakes sense but well lmao

Positive points:

The perfecti. They’re actually really entertaining on screens and are just funny. I think they were a great idea and a good addition to the story. And I’m genuinely excited to see more of them and how they’re story is going to unfold.

Josefina getting her powers. I’m glad they ended up giving her her powers with “wakening spell” similar to the one the sisters needed when they became witches. I really like her powers as well it’s so fitting.

Macy smiling. I have my issues with how the whole thing happened and I’ll take about it later but I’m glad she was finally able to catch a break. The show is often giving her storylines without a lot of time for her to just breath and I’m glad she finally got the opportunity to do so.

Abigael and Jordan. Listen, I just have a soft spot for their friendship. I just enjoy watching them. Tbh they both have easy chemistry with everyone but these two together just gives me good vibes. I just like them together on screen. I also liked how absolutely soft he was with her. And how she easily recognise his qualities. I just love them individually and together.

Maggie finally getting some therapy. I’m glad they’re finally giving that to her. Now can they extend that to like ... literally every single one of their main characters cause they all need it.

Josefina and Mel. As always their scene were really enjoyable. I think it’s always nice to see Mel show other people magic isn’t their only power. And I like how it shows how understanding and empathetic Mel really can be.

Mel and Maggie. Once again, their bond is so sweet and feels very natural. I just love seeing them share normal sisterly moments.

Negative points :

those are only going to be the actual negative points I have. Others that are more like annoyance, I’ll put them with the remarks.

Ruby. I’m just tired of this show giving zero effort to that relationship. I’m a big time abimel shipper but the treatment they give melby is just disrespectful at this point. They had one little moment where they said “oh she isn’t here” and then that’s it. Not even pretending to be on the phone. Or a text message. Nada. This needs to be fixed. Either get on it or get rid of it. But enough. Especially when you compare it to how they treat the straights.

Abigael’s story. Apparently some people don’t make the connexion with self harm, but to me said connexion is pretty obvious. More and more obvious especially after last episode where they showed us Abigael hurting herself directly. It was graphic and kinda unnecessary imo. I think the story itself, of having Abigael’s sides fight each other is interesting but the way they approached it was very careless and if they continue being so adamant about showing us how broken abi is, they need to actually be careful how they handle this.

Things that just don’t make sense:

Did no one tell Maggie about Jordan being cured ? I’m so confused 😭

Mel. Again, is no one ever going to talk about the fact she never finished her phd in season 1 ? Or didn’t have any teaching experience. I know it’s a small things that’s probably never going to be brought up but it’s been nagging me djdhd

At the end of the episode when they go back to putting the egg, suddenly the air isn’t toxic anymore and it’s small but i realised right away and just haven’t been able to get it out of my head.

Same with Josefina and the book. Mel was right there. Couldn’t she have taken it ? 😭

Why did Harry and Macy took the portal to Paris ? Why just not orb.

I’m still confused by the whole demon trying to kill the witch side of Abby to be honest. Like I’m not sure how hurting her physical body is going to do anything ? Isnt her demon part gonna die too then ? Parker’s made more sense because it was like a sickness, you could say the magical cells were killing he humans ones or something. But here ? I’m confused.

Talking about demon abi, ... why this ugly ass dress. I understand the reason for different noticeable clothes but why does it need to be this ugly. Abigael Jameson-Caine is too fashionable for this.

The entire book of shadow thing like ? Did we just forgot Mel presented the book to Josefina the episode before ? Are we just erasing that from our memories ? What’s happening.

How they gonna freeze the therapist and then just leave a note like is she not supposed to unfreeze ? Maggie is just gonna be gone ? And with a sudden note on her laps ? What.

Remarks & speculations

Hacy. I don’t dislike the couple don’t get me wrong. I think they’re sweet. But the show focuses too much on that relationship. Macy barely feels like she has a story outside of it at this point. At least Harry has the whole white lighter thing but again the reason he wants to be mortal is Macy so ... if just feels like the show continues to centre these two characters toward each other first. However it was great to see Macy happy. But again like The sisters had one hug and then that was if.

I’m really sad we didn’t actually see Macy and Josefina interact. Or that we won’t see her reach them a bit more about her magic and the whole new side they don’t know about.

My babies in the tomb. I’m just really wondering what the deal with the perfecti. Are they so big on duality, good and bad that it’s to an extreme that is dangerous ? Abigael in some ways I can understand. She’s the demon overlord. She’s powerful. Her demon form tried to go after TCO. But Jordan ? Was he just a collateral damage ? Did they judge him bad because he was with abi ? Because he was cursed ? Or is it a plan they have that involved isolating TCO ? (I doubt it but still a possibility). I mean he was probably out there cause he was helping abi but then it being strong questions about the perfecti’s moralities and visions of the world. Cannot wait to see more.

Abigael was ... broken to say the least. Kudo to poppy for that, Abigael looked absolutely exhausted. You could feel the fear and exhaustion in everything she did. And I feel bad for her because she’s not only mentally exhausted but physically too. She can’t sleep safely. And I don’t know if everyone realised the level all this must have reached for Abigael to be ready to give up everything. Because she is different from the sisters on this, she grew up as a magical being. That has been her entire life. What has been defining her since birth. For her to be so ready to give everything up so she could finally just find some peace ... she’s literally at her limits.

Talking about abi. We know the sisters are gonna try to help Jordan in episode 13 but does that mean they don’t realise Jordan is gone until then ? So it’s easy to assume 312 will also have abi/jordy mostly and in the tomb. Speculations - if the synopsis of 312 is indeed about saving Jordan from the tomb and not something else - is that they’ll realise on site than Abigael is stuck too and will help her as well. Unless she does something good to help jordan and because of that they decided to get her out too. That could connect both story and have a start on the redemption.

Also while abi is gone are the demons just gonna wait around ? Like the fact they all just willingly followed her rules doesn’t seem realistic but even less when the girl is no where to be found.

I just want Mel to get a proper storyline. And Macy too. Maggie I feel is actually the best written one development wise out of all of them.

I think they brought the storyline of Harry being worried about his age and waiting to be mortal too early. He has a good ten years on Macy anyway. And they barely started dating. There are already a lot of things going on and I genuinely feel like they should have left that for next season at least.

Highlights

Maggie in therapy. “You seem like you have a lot of demons” “are you under a lot of stress” was genuinely funny. Maggie is so naturally funny I really love her for it.

Mel saying there isn’t another shoe to drop and demon Abigael saying hold me beer.

The dogs that does math. Don’t ask me why it’s just funny.

Josefina using her powers after realising she still has them

Macy’s face when Harry told her about becoming mortal as if he isn’t constantly talking about it djdhd

Abigael’s soft “jordy”

Celebrating later, running now

The entire witch ceremony at the end.

[dyketubbo]

How to Use an Axe as a Shield (and vice versa)

(or, a collection of tubbo poems/minifics, because I think about him a lot. please god reblog if you read/like any of these just liking doesnt do anything /lh. heres one to tide you over, and three more under the cut)

Heartless (homeless)

TWs: Death, Injury

•

If home is where the heart is, what are you supposed to do when both are turned into war zones? (Canon Compliant)

home's where the heart is (but both of yours are exploded, so where does that leave you?)

declarations of war are made with the burnt crisps of your house

(you were proud of that. you really were)

a statement of betrayal is first marked with a sword through your heart

(and you wonder how fucking unlucky you must be to be the first life lost)

you're shot twice with blinding lights (and they really were blinding, because you lost an eye because of it)

during the small period where you can't feel your heart beat you wonder if you lost that too

(you almost wish you did, because it hurts to pretend like you don't care while wearing an executioner's hood, but every time you've cared about something you lost it)

..

(and yet you lose even when you stop caring, and you wish you lost your heart, because somehow losing a heart seems better than losing a home all over again)

A President's Legacy

TWs: Cannibalism, Death, Underage Drinking

•

Quackity, Fundy, and Tubbo, and the things inherited from two men who stopped caring about them (they haven't quite gotten the hang of not caring about the two men back, but damn if they have a bad view on what it means to care about themselves now) (Canon Compliant w/ HCs such as Tubbo wearing a ram/Schlatt's skull for intimidation)

the opportunistic ex takes a bite of the dictator's heart, before eating it all (before then, he took the advice of a man who spiralled, and its no wonder the doctor isnt a real one, because someone really should've warned that cannibals get hurt by their habits too)

the abandoned prodigy takes the dictator's sword and calls it a family heirloom (the prodigy is disowned by the father he truly wanted, so who can blame him when he turns to the only people that want him, even when they're his enemies)

the gunpowdered mentee dons the dictator's skull, mirrors his ears and horns and tail and takes the berating and bottles and drinks (and drinks and drinks because maybe he can replace the tearstains in the dead husk of a man's old suit with beer stains and pretend that he's following in the footsteps of a heartless ram and intimidate everyone into not finding out that he's really mimicking the spiral of a brother that didn't want the heart he was given)

the ex destroys his "child" and makes a better country in its stead, promising himself he'll never be pushed to the side again (he breaks his own promises to not get attached but can't bring himself to stop smiling)

the prodigy resolves to better himself and makes a play pen for his son as he tells himself he's loved and wanted and no one can tell him he's not (he accepts friendship as a payment and laughs as he learns to have fun with his body again)

the mentee breaks from his roles and stores up power as a defense as he keeps his son safe and assures himself that he'll never let his loved ones get hurt again (he hasn't counted himself as one yet, but he twirls a flower around in his hands and believes that it'll all be okay)

(a ghost of a dictator cackles to himself as he flicks poker chips at the crying husk of a zombie whose heart hasn't learned how to beat again yet)

Runny Yolk (Bloody Folk)

TWs: Gore, Death, Rotting, Talk of Organs, Suicidal Ideation, Memory Loss, Manipulation, Overstimulation, this one is rough ok

•

Tubbo thinks red is starting to suit him. (Eggbo AU)

your guts are being replaced with vines

they twist and turn and there are leaves in your socket and your eye is turning red

crimson is flooding through your head, your mind, your soul and conscience and veins and heart and oh, you know why they're called blood vines now

they tell you it's apart of the process. they seem to wince a little and clench their fists a little harder

so you don't feel too bad when you vomit into the lava. rather easy to get overstimulated from being invaded by a parasite, really

it showed you dead families when you first touched it, and at first you didnt really know why

eventually though, you remember how happy ghostbur was

you suppose death isn't so bad, if that's how dead people end up

it would be nice for everyone to be happy

(it would be nice if you were happy. suddenly, this all feels rather peaceful and you're not really registering that you're vomiting too much because for some reason it's not hurting anymore)

it doesn't take too long for ponk to quietly go "i don't think that's apart of the process"

he repeats it louder again as you sway and you hear concerned shouts as your consciousness fades

you wake up to whispering in your head

"you can't leave yet, bring everyone with you. don't worry, i won't make it hurt"

you get up rather quickly, and think about how this is what painless and colorful feels like. you smile, and let yourself forget what that even meant to you in the first place

Ding! Breakfast Is Ready! (why do ghosts need to eat anyways?)

TWs: Suicide, Death, Memory Loss, Overstimulation, Panic Attack

•

Toast thinks about the (not so) fun fact that matyr sounds like murder if you have a funny enough accent. He tries not to think about what everyone else thinks of the very not fun fact that the murderer of Tubbo was himself (Tubbo uses the Dead Man's Switch AU, not too canon compliant i just think about toast a lot. this one turned more into a minific but i still like it so here)

it's a bit easier to get food when you can float, a fact that toast uses to his advantage rather often

he thought the name was cute really, and he giggled about how he was burnt to a crisp just like toast!

tommy shouted at him though, and ranboo's voice shaked as his words failed to really pick up

toast couldn't hear very well

that's what happens when you blow yourself up with a nuke, he guesses

he thinks his life was pretty nice, really! he's not sure why he wanted to blow it all up (not that he really judged the decision much, he knew it was probably for a good reason)

he helped found a country, got elected as president (somehow? he could tell there were gaps), met a pretty hybrid, got a cool compass!

he especially likes to think about how fun it was to make nukes, even if he doesn't remember why

and of course, his memory is filled with little bits of his married life with a son, and he could never forget how it felt to be a brother to tommy, or an uncle to fundy

tommy looks like he's about to break when toast mentions picking flowers with technoblade, so toast resorts to not talk about his memories around tommy at all

michael likes to listen to him though! toast teaches him sign language, and claps with glee the first time michael gets out a sentence

the clap makes him think of concrete for some reason, and for a second he remembers technoblade pointing a firework at him

his scars burned then. he doesn't clap anymore

the food falls down and makes a clang (turns out, getting lost in memories means losing his physical form) and toast is out of reality for a second and the toaster dings and suddenly there's so much noise that toast sinks down and panics even more when he realizes he needs oxygen to hyperventilate

eventually, it all quiets down (or at least, it's quiet enough that toast is unable to hear it)

for a bit, it's flooded back, and he remembers that he's not tommy's brother or ranboo's husband or fundy's uncle or michael's father or technoblade's friend or anyone at all and especially not tubbo himself

because tubbo's dead. and he killed himself. and now all they have left is a ghost of someone they'll never have again, because tubbo took out dream too.

tubbo wasn't one to cry. but toast isn't tubbo, so he sobs and hopes his tears burn enough for him to die too (tubbo had such a brilliant death suited for such a brilliant boy, so toast only felt it was deserved to die pathetically and drawn out, so he could never again convince himself he was amazing as he thought he was)

(he doesnt die, and being unable to remember what upset him in the first place is only frustrating him further, so he curls up and pushes his head into his knees and hopes that if ghosts can eat they can fall asleep too)

[arthurflecksgirl]

<3  *Arthur imagines his first date <3

* Lost diary pages*

Arthur writes about how he imagines his first date to be, rips the pages out of his diary and sends a message in a bottle :-)

Some cute fluff for you all :-)

It`s a cold evening in Gotham city. Its feels like the dead of summer. You walk though the park, kicking the fallen leafes beneath your cold feet. It has been a long day. A long month, year. Life even. You feel tired, trying to understand why you are even here in this city full of ignorant people. If only you had someone on your side that understands how lonely the world can be, when you`re inside of your own mind all the time.

You moved here years ago and still haven`t found someone to talk to. You think about leaving this place if nothing changes. You`re looking for a sign. Something that keeps you going.

There is a little kitten by the river. "Hey there little friend, feelin lonely,too?" it  meows and  runs away. And just as you want to turn your back, you see something in the water. A bottle. But there is something in it.

"A message in a bottle" you whisper to yourself as you pick it up. It looks like has been there for some months. But its easy to open. You sit down at a bench, starting to read:

"Today I sat there on a park bench in Gotham city, after I got out of the pharmacy. The sky was getting dark, you could tell that its going to rain soon. But I didnt wanted to go back to my dark apartment, so I just sat there, watching people. Made some observations. I need it to write in here. I need it for more jokes.

But what I noticed today wasnt a joke. It was love. And love is a very serious subject to me. I take human connection very seriously. Because I never experienced it. And I really want to. Some days it really hurts me inside, when I see couples laughing together. LAUGHING TOGETHER. What sounds so simple, SEEMS so simple to others is out of my reach. Laughing is something that I really dont know nothing about. Though I laugh so often. Because I have to. Because it won`t leave me alone to cry. I laugh but the truth is I don`t. I can`t remember a time it was a real, heartfelt laugh. I don`t even know how to do it. Sometimes I try to fake it. When I`m at Pogos or with the guys from Haha`s. But I can tell from the way they look at me that they know there is something wrong with me. Maybe I should stop trying to fit in. I try to fit in all the time. Every day... but it doesnt seem to work. Except when there are kids around. Thats why I love them. Kids seem to SEE me.

And then...the other word TOGETHER. There has to be more than one person to create a together. And I am always alone. I don`t know why. Its not like I didnt try to make friends. I really did. But they don`t feel comfortable around me. Even Hoyt told me so. I don`t know why everyone is so rude. I only want to make people happy. I really do. But thereis no "laughing together" for me. Only crying alone.

So, I was sitting there on the bank and there was this couple. She was looking at him, laughing. I bet he told her a really good joke. And she looked at him in a way no one ever looked at me and they kissed. Holding on to one another.

I always imagined how it would feel like being kissed. The moment right before your lips are touching must be the most beautiful feeling in the world. I imagin it to be very exciting to have someone elses lips pressed against yours. To circle your tongue around another and to taste the other person entierly. I dream about kissing the girl next door a lot. Her name is Sophie and she is beautiful. I bet she is a really good kisser. Her lips look so soft. I wish I could just knock on her door, take her face between my hands and kiss her passionately. But the truth is I barely dare to look her in the eyes when we meet at the hallway.

But yeah. this couple on the streets really made me think about what it would be like to have someone to love.To make love to someone.

I consider myself a romantic. And I played this like a thousands of times in my head. I`m 35 now and I guess it will never happen. But I like to dream about it. Who knows, maybe someday someone will SEE me the way I am. Maybe some day a nice girl will laugh at my jokes and take me in her arms. I would love to dress up in some decent clothes for her. I usually wear my old, faded jacket and my blue pants. The ones that look too baggy on me. But actually I like to dress nicely. Especially for special occasions. It just barely happens.I would put on some cologne. Not the one I use when I go to Pogos, I would buy a new one, because my mother uses the same bottle and that`s a bit strange, right? I would definitaly buy a new one I think the girl would like. I just found one I loved but it was too expensive and I couldnt afford it. Whatever, no one would have noticed the new cologne on me anyway.

And on our big date...I would do something with my hair. Maybe I would wear it slick back. I noticed that people like that a lot. I would like to go to the theatres with her. Oh that would be nice. Watching some comedy together. She would teach me what a real laugh feels and sounds like. I bet she could do that. And I wouldnt have to act strangely around her anymore, because the laugh would come NATURALLY.  So she could feel comfortable around me,too.

Thats my biggest fear, that the girl wouldnt feel comfortable around me. I would try my best to make her feel LOVED. After our date I would walk down the streets with her, holding hands. I always loved the idea of hoding hands. Its like a little commitment. You are mine. I really love the time we spent together. Thats what it says. At least I think so.

I would take her home with me. It would be a little bit embarrassing to show her the apartment but ...anyway... MUSIC!

Music is really important when it comes to the perfect date. Its like the heart of everything. I would put on some nice, music. I have LOTS of really great records and I´m a good dancer, so this wouldnt be a problem. Maybe some Sinatra. And...I imagin asking her to dance with me, offering her my hand and she would smile and we start dancing through the living room...Oh I would light up some candles before that. The apartment is quiet dark so we could need a bit of light. And candle light is always a good idea. Girls appriciate it and it makes me feel comfortable,too.

I would try to get closer to her while dancing. It would be the perfect moment for my first kiss. I could even pick a song for my first kiss, when I think about it now. This could be planned out so perfectly.

Thats why I always play it in my head over and over again... If it happenes some day, I`m prepared.  And I have to be prepared because I`m a virgin.

I just hope she wouldnt notice that I never kissed someone before. That would be the most embarrassing thing. I know I can be SHY.

Not even to mention other things like having sex.

I dream about this A LOT. I keep pictures in here. Of girls I think are attractive and other stuff. I like to draw a lot. But thats all nothing compared to what a real girlfriend would feel like to have in my arms.

I imagin sex to be not just a way to satisfy your own desires. I imagin it to be something that really connects you to the other person and to life itself. I always feel depressed after touching myself. I guess this would be different with having someone in your arms afterwards,too. I try to imagin the sensation of  two bodies melting into one another. To be SEEN and to be FELT by another person. I think its impossible to UNSEE the person that you have sex with. My future  girlfriend will look me in the eyes and I hope she will be able to realize my true self. That I`m a good guy. And she will tell me so. She would feel me with all her senses. Calling out my name between the kisses, begging me to sleep with her. Begging me to fullfill all her desires. And I would. God yes, I would make all her desires come true. Try the best to please her. I think I  could be a great boyfriend.

I would buy my girlfriend flowers,too. I love flowers. I love how soft to the touch they are and the fact that they smell so nice. Like girl`s shampoo. I would love to pick flowers and out them into her hair. I can imagin her happy face. A real laugh. Not like mine.

I`d love to have someone to cuddle with at night. Not only my pillows. It must be wonderful to feel the warth of another body on your own. The weight of someone elses body on yours.  I just want the emptyness to go away. This constant feeling of  emtyness, meaniglessness. I just don`t wanna feel so bad anymore.

Having someone to kiss my bruised back. To take care of my wounds when I got beaten up again. That would be wonderful.

I need to talk to someone about the thoughts inside of my head. All these thoughts. They`re enemys sometimes. I try to get them out of me by writing this journal, but this isnt enough. I need someone to really listen to me and I guess my future girlfriend could do that. Just listen, putting her arms around me, when I feel lost. That would be enough to make me feel better. I long for human contact so much. But no one cares.

My daydreams are the only thing I have left.Some days they feel so real, they become hallucinations. Dr Kane thinks I am delusional. But I know that these hallucinations arent real. I KNOW THAT I AM ALONE.

These dreams...are just for the moment. I make them real for a minute, maybe an hour or longer. But as soon as the daydream is done, I know that my mind just made it up. What difference does it make if Dr Kane belives me or not?  She doesnt care about me anyway. No one does.

Dr Kane thinks that love won`t heal me. That I am way too damaged to be healed. Thats what she said. What a rude bitch. I know I can be healed by love. I just feel it in my guts. I just want a family. Is this too much to ask for? I get that its too late to have a father but is it too late to find a girl who loves me for who I am?

Maybe it is. Maybe not.

If there is a 50/50 chance...I`ll take it !

50/50 is more than most people get in life.

I think I´m gonna rip those pages out of this journal and put them into a bottle.

I watched a movie a while ago and this guy put a letter with his adress into a bottle and thew it into the river. Years later this girl found it and wrote him a note.

I loved this idea of the constant hope that your letter will be noticed some day.

That I will be noticed someday.

Yeah... I will do it right now.

So if you read this and you think that my writing made any sense...

Here is my adress

Arthur Fleck

2250 Anderson Avenue

Apt 8J

Gotham city NJ

Gonna find a bottle and get to the river now.

There is no time to waste.... "

@impulsiveclown @ben-solos-writing-avenger @jokerownsmysoul @missjoker96 @arthurskitten @lynnesm @nonnymousse @jokerhoe @gwynplaine89 @damnrightobsessedwithim @sgtsavoytruffle  @duhliriouss @sadjesterautumn @therealjokerking10 @flowerglitterwoman @thirstforfleck @spookyhome @iartsometimes @downtoclown-around @you-cant-cry-in-here @bustafatclownnut @jokerismyhubbie @jokerflecker @casiaregina @check-out-this-joker @mrsjfleck @darknessisafriend @bring-your-holy-water @nicoleverse @mdme-rosary @arthurhappyclown @yami-rhs @mrsjfleck @cmollica @mollyxlyla-rosex @widkkfowpqpsnanq @rhokie @neon-umbrella-for-stella @queenie70 @casiaregina @missmayx @these-written-reveries @cherrymoon75

[b1oodpink]

if you want to grow and change, then why do you keep posting about all your issues? it’s always the same pattern. sorry but I genuinely used to follow you bc of ur art work, but sometimes your posts are so self deprecating that it’s suffocating. your parents, hair, ED, friends, again and again. i think you’re taking my words the wrong way, but what im trying to say is that this self deprecation is so toxic for everyone, including yourself. it seems pick me-ish or “i’m going through worse!!”

i hear you. this will be my last response, to the other messages as well. 

i understand the way you view my posts as self deprecating, i understand its a bummer to read and you can unfollow if anything makes you uncomfortable, but i think alot of assumptions are being made. i really don’t have to explain myself, its just i don’t like the misunderstanding thats going on. i used to post alottt more ‘woe is me im sad’ things on tumblr. its just something ive learned to do from watching other ppl on the internet do it. ive cut down alot, and im more concious about how my posts are gonna make others feel. i know its not a coping mechanism to just shout into the void about my problems. i know theres a difference between talking about my struggles and wallowing in it. im a human being, i have alot to work on still.

but sometimes in vulnerable moments, i want to express how im feeling just through a post or two. i know i have friends to talk to and others i can reach out to, but being honest with ppl in my life is something im working on, and its not easy. 

also, i dont think you know anything about the circumstances i have around seeing my one friend on a picnic. ive gotten my covid test, its negative. im going to get tested regularly because I have to go on campus sometimes. ive been isolated and social distancing for the entirety of quarantine unless i needed to go out. and im allowed to give myself a breather safely. when we hang out, which is like, once a month, we wear masks, we’re outside, and we avoid all other people. in this pandemic, im allowed to find an ounce of joy where i can and embrace it. im allowed to do what i need to survive. you do too

lastly, when i make posts about my feelings, i am no way suggesting i have it worse. im only talking about my own personal experience, that does not encompass everyones experience, and voicing it doesn’t make me self centered or naive to anyone elses pain. to make an assumption/jump to a conclusion like that, is on you. no one on this site knows my entire life. you dont know my lowest moments, what ive had to overcome, and what i still struggle with, even if you do see the posts i make. 

the things you’re informing me about with these messages, isnt something i dont know or havent thought about. im fully aware that sometimes i can just be stuck in sadness or desperation, and i cant think positively. i also think these moments are allowed as well, for everyone. of course it can’t be the ONLY coping mechanism, and it certainly isnt for me. im aware at times that i’m doing the best I can in the moment, AND i can do alot better. i CAN be coping better. at the end of the day, im simply doing what i need to do to survive in the moment. sometimes thats just making a dumb tumblr text post to get something off my chest. other times its talking to a friend. sometimes its an unhealthy coping mechanism. most times its just staying quiet about it. 

anyways thats all 

[shoutoismybaby]

Obedient

HI everyone! This wasn't requested but I recently watched Ella Enchanted and got inspired. Basically, the reader's quirk is to do everything they are told. Enjoy!!!

***

The days before your 4th birthday was filled with restless anticipation. Your whole family was incredibly excited to see whos quirk you would inherit, Your fathers superspeed or your mother's forcefield. Inheriting a mix of both of them was an option as well, an option that made you dream about being a hero.

A dream that was instantly crushed the moment your mother told you to ’dig in’ to your birthday cake. To which, your body moved on its own; digging your chubby fingers into the cake before stuffing the pieces into your mouth. It wasn't until your mother shouted a worried “Stop!” that your body finally gave you back control. By this time, the whole table of your friends had broken into giggled, while the only thing you had broken into was tears.

That day you learned two extremely important things. One, that quirks weren't the blessings everyone enjoyed pretending they were. And two, that people were cruel and would take advantage of you in any way they could.

***

You continued your life up until high school with a limited amount of friends. Those “friends” only being your teachers and parents. Once in high school, however, your popularity skyrocketed as the word about your quirk spread. In the first couple weeks, it began with random kids in your class coming up to test out your quirk. Only to evolve into multiple students in one day demand you complete their work by the end of the first month.

At times you wondered if things would be different if you had attended a different school. You didn't even want to attend UA anyway, but when that stupid advertisement popped up on your TV with All Might excitedly shouting,

“Enter your application to UA today!”

There wasn't much you could do to stop your body from filling out an application and turning it in an hour later. It didn't end up being that big of a shock that you ended up in class 1-C, considering your quirk really wasn't suited for hero work. Though it sure was just amazing at forcing you to stay up till ungodly times to finish the homework that was supposed to belong to everyone else in your class.

Well, there was one person who had never used your quirk against you. It was probably important to take into account that neither of you had actually had a conversation, but it didn't stop you from appreciating that he seemed to be the only one respecting your bodily autonomy.

In all honesty, Hitoshi hadn't really taken the time to acknowledge you. Not that he disliked you, but the boy was mostly accustomed to people avoiding him once they discovered his quirk, so he didn't find it necessary to even try making friends. It wasn't until 3 months into the school year that Shinsou started to notice you. The time that you sat across from him at the lunch table that he usually had to himself.

Peeking up at your pink cheeks from under his indigo tuff, he realized that you weren't attempting to make any contact with him, your incessant staring at your plate made that extremely clear. Still, he was having a hard time figuring out why you had chosen to sit across from him, and why the fact that you weren't trying to talk to him made him feel disappointed. Even with all of the thoughts whirring in his head, Shinsou remained quite, and the two of you ate in silence.

In the days following, your existence became more and more prevalent. His attention was brought to you as you began to exist near him more often as time went by. When the class was allowed to change seats, you chose to sit to his right. During passing time, you could be seen in a 5ft radius of the tall boy, and you even began to sit at the same table as him in the library after school when you both chose to study. This is when Shinsou started to get bothered. What could you possibly want from him? Someone to laugh at? Learn his secrets and spread them like wildfire?

It was a week into you somehow appearing everywhere he went in school that he decided to get to the bottom of everything. You were currently sitting across from him at the library table when he cleared his throat, drawing your attention from your book to him.

“Tell me,” he paused seeing your head whip up, eyes wide. Remembering your quirk, he pauses before rephrasing.

“Why are you hanging around me so much?” He asks. The way your face warmed up only made him continue nervously in an attempt to not scare you off.

“Not that I'm bothered by your presence, everyone else just tries to avoid me.” He looks down and rubs the back of his neck nervously, why did he feel so anxious about this? He shouldn't care if he scared you off, if he did then you weren't worth his time to begin with.

“Um, don't be mad, but that's why I’ve followed you around recently.” The way your gentle voice squeaked out caused his face to flush immediately as he looked at your anxious posture. “Umm, I mean the thing that people leave you alone. I just want people to leave me alone.”  Your voice then trailed off and he scoffed in response. So you were using him.

“Why would you want everyone to leave you alone? You're always surrounded by friends.” He stated mockingly, “You should be glad people don't avoid you like the plague because of your quirk.”

“Y-you know what my quirk is, right?” You stuttered, your face feeling as if your veins were filled with lava.

“You do everything you told to right? Why does that matter?” He rolled his eyes. Why was he being such an asshole? Couldn't he just understand? You weren't avoided because of your quirk, you were being abused because of it. You were exhausted all the time because of it. Couldn't he see how easy it was for people to take advantage of you?! Was he really as self-centered as everyone else? Was he really the jerk everyone made him out to be?

“Yeah, how do you think people react to knowing you'll do anything they tell you to?” You asked angrily, hot tears gathered in your eyes as they faced his. “Those people aren't my friends. They're using me!” At this point, he’s silent. HIs stoic face isnt letting you gauge what's going through his head. If only you could tell how his veins froze over as the pieces fell together in his head. “Until I started following you around I was staying up until 4 AM doing all of their homework, I had to give them my lunch money, the bracelet I got for my birthday last year. They just want me to do things for them, they don't even care about me! So, I thought maybe if I befriended the guy who everyone deemed unapproachable because of his quirk, they'd leave me alone. I wouldn't be so tired and hungry all the time. I’d have a genuine friend.” You released a shaky breath and shoved your books into your bag, trying to blink away the tears running down your face. Why did you ever think everyone else was wrong about him? “You're the only person who never told me to do anything for them. The only person. In our whole class. I thought that maybe, the way everyone thought about you was completely baseless. That you’d understand being treated unfairly because of your quirk. But you're just as self-centered as everyone else.” You stood up from your chair and slung your bag over your shoulder. Of course, he wouldn't understand. He didn't have a quirk that could be used against him.

Guilt washed over him as you started to walk away. How had he not noticed how your tired eyes reflected his own? That you weren't using him selfishly, you were desperate. Maybe if he hadn't closed everyone off so much, he would have noticed what you were going through. Maybe he would’ve noticed your existence as an attempt at initiating a friendship. Yet, because he thought the worst in everyone, he ruined his chance. It only took him a minute to snap out of his thoughts and quickly abandon his schoolwork to rush after you.

Passing through the library doors he looked out into the hallway, seeing you standing only a few feet in front of where he was, you stood with another student from your class. A nervous look covered your face as the student held a stack of papers,

“Do these for me, they're due next week.” They say, a devilish smile spread across their face. Anger boiled inside of Shinsou as your eyes dulled and arms extended and took the work.

“Stop,” Hitoshi demanded, causing your arms to stop, leaving the papers to scatter on the floor. Your eyes become animated once again as you turn to him in shock. The other student, however, hadn't recognized his voice and began to respond before turning to face him.

“Hey, who do you-” their face went from one of annoyance to blank and mindless within a second of opening their mouth. You could recognize what Hitoshi's quirk looked like when being used anywhere.

“Apologize to (l/n), tell her she doesn't have to do your work and never bother her again,” Shinsou says to them. They turn to you immediately and robotically begin to talk,

“I apologize (l/n), don’t do my work,” they say,

“One more thing,” Shinsou adds, drawing your eyes back to his glowing ones. “Tell all of your friends to never bother her again unless they actually want to pursue a friendship with her. Now get out of here.” Your classmate does as they're told, slowly making they're way down the hall. It isnt until their body disappears behind the corner that you open your mouth.

“Shinsou,”

“Look, I’m sorry. I was being an ass to you, and you didn't deserve that. And you're right, I was being self-centered. I thought that you were like everyone else when you were giving me the benefit of doubt. I want to be your friend, and give those assholes what they deserve for treating you so poorly. So, would you forgive me?” He asks, his lanky body bowing in front of you. It causes your face to heat up, but you smile.

“Okay, I forgive you. But you owe me.” You say, crossing your arms.

“Oh?” He asks, standing back up. “What do I owe you?”

“Ice cream, you’ve got to take me out for ice cream.” You say, excitement bubbling in your chest for a reason you couldn't pinpoint. Was it because you were making your first real friend? Or maybe that look Shinsou was giving you? EIther way, his mouth pulled into a smile that reminded you of Todoro before he responded.

“Okay, princess. Let's go get ice cream then.” He turns to head back into the library to grab his belongings and your face turns into an oven.

“Right now?!” You stutter,

“Yeah, why not? I’d rather get this whole owing you thing done and over with,” he says,

The next day you were met with your whole class standing in front of the door when you walked in. Never before had so many people apologized to you at once. It wasnt until your bracelet was gently set back into your hands that you started crying.

“I apologize for everything I’ve done to you. Honest. So please forgive me!” The girl who had taken it from you begged, slipping the bracelet back onto your wrist you smiled through the tears.

“I forgive you!”

“You know you're too forgiving, right?” The deep voice sounded from behind you, a voice you knew was behind all of the chaos. You just nodded before turning to face his tired eyes.

“Yeah, I know. Thank you though, Shinsou.” You wipe at your eyes, you feel his hand on your head ruffle your hair as he snickers.

“No problem princess.” He sighed, walking past you and to his seat. “Go back to your seats.” He says to your classmates, who scurry under his command. You aren't sure if any of them are actually under his control, or just terrified of what he would do if they didn't listen. “ and (L/n),”

“Yeah?” You ask,

“Stop doing everything you’re told to.”

“Shinsou I can't just not-”

“Sit down then.” You don't move when he says this, and a rush of energy flurries in your stomach.

“SHINSOU YOU GENIUS!”

***

Requests are open!

[deaf-bakugou]

Present Mic Headcanons (LONG)

So it is Present Mic's Bday so yeah. I figured let's chat about some headcanons for my Favorite Deaf since childhood character. (In my opinion.) These could also be considered a little bit sad. Okay. Some are definitely sad. But tragic backstory. That is how it goes.

So maybe he was born Deaf (because his body was already protecting him from his quirk)

Maybe he wasn't

Regardless it wouldnt have mattered because the moment he was born he screamed just like every other baby in existence does.

The doctors, attending nurses, parents, all Deafened almost immediately or had severe damage to their ears.

I like to believe that Hizashi is actually part of a set of twins. A little girl was born first and his big sister is also Deafened by the blast.

His birth parents immediately give him up.

He is placed in a sound proof room and it takes a lot to convince nurses to go in and tend to the screaming baby who is cold and alone.

Social services is called in and they know they need to do an emergency placement immediately.

They succeed finding a profoundly Deaf couple who already can't hear anything to adopt this little boy. Hearing tests show that the baby is already pretty Deaf. The doctors apologize to the new parents who are not impressed with that at all and go off on the doctor saying being Deaf isnt something to apologize for. It is a wonderful and different worldview.

Hizashi gets to grow up with two loving Deaf parents who immerse him in the world of Sign language and Deaf culture. He bangs on the dinner table for attention. Shouts and jumps and waves his hands. Struggles with the concept of personal space. Deaf people may not hear, but they are not quiet.

However social services stays involved. A quirk like that is dangerous so they want it to be monitored closely. The parents don't really want to force Hizashi to goto speech therapy or force him to wear hearing aids but social services requires it potentially even taking them to court to mandate it for the child's care. So there he is at a very young age receiving his first hearing aids.

The parents are not thrilled but support Hizashi anyway. They want him to have the best possible life he can and they know that forcing him into the hearing world is not the way to go. Hizashi is startled by the new noises and responds to them as you often see in the Deaf child gets hearing aids videos. Oh yes so sweet or something. (Those videos are super harmful for Deaf community. Not related and a discussion for another time.)

Hizashi and his parents return home where he promptly flushes them down the toilet because he hates them. (Super common for young Deaf kids.)

Thus comes several years of him destroying or losing various sets of hearing aids. He doesnt know how expensive they are and his parents are not paying for them because it is the government requiring he have them for quirk control.

One day when he is maybe 6 or 7 he hears music for the first time properly. It is a new and better set of hearing aids, they are walking through some festival and bam, there it is, someone playing a guitar or something. He pretty quickly falls in love with it.

He doesnt expect his parents to support him, but they do. They are just as enthusiastic for him to become involved with music as he is. As long as it is what he wants and not something that is being forced on him. They can feel the bass vibrations and enjoy music. He ends up with several instruments, they can't afford the lessons but he learns online but never shows anyone.

He is a genius child. He learns how to arrange light shows to go with his music.

When he enters school he is put into the Deaf Ed program with the rest of the Deaf kids. Still immersed in Sign language. Since he learned Sign first, japanese as a second language comes decently easy to him and he learns to read quickly. He starts to actually listen during his court mandated Speech therapy though he doesn't talk.

He has a quirk accident as a child. Of course he does. All children do. But his accident shatters windows at the school. He doesn't mean to but he struggles with volume control though. Doesnt understand it is something he really needs to work on or monitor.

Of course they start requiring that he go to quirk training outside of school. A specialist is required for these things they say.

His parents are reluctant but have to do as told in order to be allowed to keep him.

He hates the quirk training. He is learning to listen to and understand spoken word now though he never speaks. He can also lip read a decent amount because of all of the therapy which focus's on oral. Even though that isnt the correct path. Hearing people often think that it is. But he understands. Understands they are calling his quirk evil, dangerous, perfect for a villian. But he trains, he tries. From then on he only uses his voice during his mandated quirk training sessions.

He doesn't speak, he doesn't hum. He is doing his best to stay on behavior. It stays like this for years. Of course he occasionally has accidents. One time out with his Dwaf friends he laughs too loud, some bystanders ear starts to bleed. The bystander calls the police.

This is the first time that Hizashi gets arrested. He is just a child but he and the police do not understand each other they think he is resisting arrest, hisashi doesnt understand why they are there. It goes on his juvenile record as unauthorized quirk use in public. He doesn't laugh again. Not for a long time.

He has a few more incidents like that and he is not thrilled but learns to be perfectly quiet. No noise at all.

But he is still a happy child. A bright child. He knows he can control his quirk and just live his life the way he wants to and he will. He is a natural talent with music though he never sings.

His family isn't rich, but they have the basic additions. His parents have a hearing dog, they have flashing doorbells and vibrating alarms. Flashing fire alarms. All of the standard equipment that is considered typical to living a Deaf life.

But they do not have a Deaf intruder Alarm.

One night a villian decides they are easy targets. Hizashi isn't home. He is at a friends house. His parents die that night.

This changes many things in Hizashi's life.

He goes back into the system. No one wants him when they learn about his unique difficulties. His record and his quirk. The fact that he is Deaf. But none of that matters he has made a decision. He will become a hero. And he will find the person who murdered his parents and make sure they never hurt anyone else.

A few months later social services finds a foster family willing to host Hizashi. The house father is not a kind man. When Hizashi arrives he gives Hizashi a list of rules to follow. No quirk use, no speaking. Among others. Hizashi moves from his old school and loses his friends. His foster father puts him into hearing mainstreamed classes.

Things are much more difficult for him now. But he will survive. He starts studying to get into UA. He works harder at his mandated training. It would give him an edge over the others.

He cries out in his sleep one night. Nightmares from traumatic experiences.

His foster father has a special muzzle made. When he enters the home he wears it until he leaves instructed to eat breakfast on the way to school and dinner in the backyard away from the other house kids.

He grows to hate people like this. A darkness festering in his soul. A delicate balance between two paths he could fall down.

He studies technology too. Experiments with creating things when he can. His is paranoid. He doesnt want to be caught off gaurd like his parents so he wants to create a flashing alert for his door and windows. He is sure some are already out there but he no longer has access to these things.

At 14 he starts to speak. Not at home, not at school. But at his required speech therapy. To the surprise of all he speaks perfectly. No accent, no lagging, perfect volume control, and perfect speech. He is just as surprised as everyone else. A quirk specialist decides it is a part of his quirk. His quirk being Voice, it seems to override some of the effects of being Deaf.

Hizashi is pleased because he knows this gives him an easier path to the world of hero's. Having to overcome the barrier of speech issues would have been difficult. He doesn't speak often.

Depression settles in. But he has a goal. He moves forward. He applies for UA for the scholarship program. On the day of the test he wipes the floor with his opponents. No one knows how to handle his quirk. He makes it in easily.

He decides then and there that he will change everything. He will be happy and bright and like he was as a child. For his parents. And he is. He finds himself melding more into the hearing world. He has to.

He creates his own combat hearing aids, out of a set of headphones and some old hearing aid parts. Not perfect but progress. He does such a good job he is allowed into the support work shop and soon has a much better set. He keeps the first pair forever though.

When he meets Shouta, the other child doesnt care about his hearing aids. Or about much at all. Hizashi learns that Shouta knew a Deaf girl at his school back in middle school. Shouta knows basic signs but never bothered to really talk to her either.

Hizashi is still thrilled. By the time they graduate Shouta is reluctantly good at it.

Hizashi never looks back to his foster family once he moves out. He goes on to do wonderful things in the hero community. He uses his radio show as a platform for children in the foster system and children with disabilities. He never wants anyone to feel the way he did.

He eventually tells Shouta about his parents. Shouta just let's him talk. Hizashi needs it. But Hizashi is happy now, there is still a darkness in his soul, something that pulls tight if he gets to angry. A flash of the villian he could be. But being with Shouta tends to keep it at bay.

It isnt until years after they graduate, in their early twenties after college, that Shouta looks at Hizashi, who has grown his hair out. Hizashi is laughing with Nemuri and tosses his longer hair over his shoulder. Shouta realizes that this man looks almost identical to the girl he went to middle school with.

Shouta tracks her down out of curiosity. After some finagling he learns that this girl is indeed Hizashi's twin. He eventually tells Hizashi. Hizashi reunites with his twin sister and develops a bond that will never break with her. It will take many more years before he finds the will to speak with his borth parents. He doesnt know if he will be angry or not. It doesnt matter either. Because the Deaf couple that adopted him, and loved him, had been his parents and no one could replace them.

He lives happily with what he has built for himself. Bouncing between the Deaf and hearing communities. He builds hearing aids and other aids for underprivileged Deaf families and children. He creates his own line of alarms connected to video feeds. His house is always armed to the max. But it isnt so bad once he marries Shouta, able to trust him to hear intruders as well. Though the man sleeps like the dead so he never stops using the alarm system anyway.

Eventually he meets another boy with a voice quirk, shunned for his abilities and with a darkness brewing in his soul.

So of course he keeps that boy. He had been adopted after all, so adopting isnt a difficult decision.