#vold draws

[the-vold]

expression tests I did with Metal, didn't turn out too well.

[brmoth]

Finishhheddd. I’m already doing way better than last time lol. 😩 I overdid the hair a bit, a little too fluffy

And bushy. Didn't know what color to make the glasses, so just did black. My bad hurts 😭 gonna go to bed soon. I HOPE

U LIKE IT, pls leave commentary on the drawing 😎✌🏼for future works, so can

Keep certain things in mind. Now I'm going to attempt to draw a scene😍🥳🤩 @racfoam

[painting-with-much-passion]

Doctrine Dark - Explosive

Own greyscale painting depicting Doctrine Dark from Fighting Layer EX as he relish on having bombarded a city.

[aiweirdness]

2023 Botober drawing prompts

Here they are!

I continued my tradition of using the year's state-of-the-art models to generate the prompts which means my methods were:

Ask GPT-4 to make its drawing prompts really weird, in the style of AI Weirdness Botober. Then sift through all the cutesy alliteration for the reasonably interesting stuff.

Ask GPT-4 to list Botober prompts from previous years. Instead of actually recalling them, it just claimed to do so and then produced other stuff.

Ask GPT-4 to list Botober prompts from previous years, then turn up the temperature (chaos) on the model until it allllllmost breaks.

Here are examples of some of the longer responses I got with GPT-4 and chaos setting 1.2. They wouldn't fit in the grid, but please feel free to substitute any of these for any of the prompts above.

Immortal Turnips disrespecting celery. OWL PHANTOM AND CABBAGE-O-LANTERN (LIGHT) Final parsnips in particular Before memory, an ancient tool waits to be discovered The Candle That Leapt over the Lake at dusk does a pirouette dussewe wind at earth bubb submission velvet little hurricane breakfast blown in be putty and goodness vodka… gaselocity scoct slices vold cave with When humans item. And those humans aren’t ordinary. See through your balloon eyes The matibrush comes tomorrow in shorts Retired Pirate Chooses Invisible Beard Open the Happy Bones The Cursed Flavor Fiend Slurps your Essence. Glance of the lavender popcorn mussel Eureka! Solar system pancakes Pause to contemplate radishes Apple mystery solution—the crypt underneath The totally real crown of all Barnacles

I also tried Bard and Bing, but their responses were repetitive and generic and I didn't have a chaos slider to play with.

(more at aiweirdness.com)

If you draw any of these, tag them with #botober or #botober2023 so I can find them!

[pawprint2005]

~——-Kings——-~

So I have all the drawings for the rest of the Kings!🎉🎉

Anyways they came out great and I hope you guys like that

Ok, so I have the Red King and Professor Red! I know I have drawn them a few times but I wanted to show you guys what they look like with color, but like I said last time the Kings had colored fingertips and the star on their forehead. And the professor has sharper K9 teeth and one of his eyes are damaged see what happened to him oh so long ago and he has gray hairs. He would have scars but they would be on his arms

Anyways after the old red king… “Died” M began to take over seeing he was the next in line and after he was made a king, the star and his finger chips slowly started to turn red and appear

So here we have Blue and Green King!

I love how they came out and they look so great! Anyways

Seeing that for a long time, the Green Steve had locked themselves away to keep themselves safe from the darkness so I would imagine that he and his people were mostly safe in and schemed from where has happened to the yellow and orange steves

The Green King is mostly Kind and does what he can for bisclekple and others he knows

Now with the Blue Steve, most of them stay in the world above, so after the first one was killed by Sabre when he and Light went to take over Vold base. So, after a vote happened, the new blue king was appointed and got the star and colored fingertips. They do not use their eyes to see, they are not able to so they use hearing mostly to see everything and everyone. So their hearing is really strong

And now for the last two and I am really happy with how I did Indigo King! I love it a lot.

Anyways the Indigo King was taken by the darkness and made into corrupted Steve I think was his name. After he was saved by light or I forgot who he was not left undamaged Indigo Steve does not like how he looks anymore. He feels that he’s no longer a full indigo Steve and he wishes he could go back to how he was and he doesn’t like his eyes anymore. So, to be more comfortable he uses a veil to cover his face but he leaves his hands uncovered to show that he is still living even with what happened

He is still the same indigo Steve from the being just a little more self-conscious

The Violet King is the same caring and calm Steve that anyone would have met. I put him into a draw seeing that it looks like he was wearing a skirt at the end of the series anyway so I thought it fit him I know he looks a little more pink cause he is, but I put it like that so there’s no changing it anyways he still the same old Steve he is very caring when it comes to the health of all the Steve that come and get his therapy from him or any of his people.

Things are real great with that

Anyway, that is all of them. I may just show some of Steve’s characters I have but that will be another time

[maxiscoolongg]

"What! I cant do that!?"

💌; Chooch Bambalazi

Warnings: nothing really.

—♡—

We were at the lunch table and I was next to chooch they all ate so precisely it made my eye brows furrow. I continued to eat my food until they started talking "Hey Rodney, how you like the food?" Oliver asked catching my attention "Same as handleman. Except the shit on a shingles a little more tart" I had no clue what that fucking ment. "Hey ike, about tonight" Oliver wishpered "Shut up." He snapped "What's tonight?" Rodney questioned "Nothing. Nothings tonight." Ike said sounding angry "Hey! Ververgraerts okay." Oliver said to ike "What's going down here? You guys are going over the wall aren't you?" "No. They are going to kiss, what do you think" I said rolling my eyes "Shut up" ike said to both of us "Well, I wanna go to" Rodney said

Then it got cold again "son of a bitch.." I wishperd getting cold "Who are you?" Liceman asked Rodney "Rodney Ververgaert, sir" Rodney said "Ververgaert? With a v? Oh, yeah i have your dossierright here. Checked in last night" I pushed my food away not hungry I zoned out again and I looked back and liceman is gone I also zoned out on half of the guys covno and chooch started talking "Not that you guys mean anything to me, But you guys are gonna get caught mark my word." I nodded my head agreeing with chooch

—♡—

When we were almost done the day I was laying on my bed with my bra and shorts on until it got cold "You got a letter, girl" he said handing me it as he left I started to read it until the boys looked at me "What now!" I said to them "You sure you ain't comin' with us?" Oliver asked I shook my head "I'm with chooch yall bond to get caught" I said as they all left expect from chooch he came over to me sitting across fromt me "Who wrote?" "My ma" I said looking at him "What'd she say?" "You want me to read it?" I asked he grinned in response as I started to read

"Dear y/n.

No need to be sorry about what happened, Me and your dad were at a breaking point we knew it was going to happen . Are the sports fun? You gonna try out for any? I think you should., things are great at home its more fun without your dad, its not vold yet though i have a feeling it will be. I see the drawing! Hope you don't mind if I keep it, you've gotten better, Your old mam will be there try not to piss him off please?, Liceman is all the things above rude and cocky don't listen to him. Do you guys talk? He seems cool, see you soon!

Love Your ma."

I said smiling at the letter "Your mom seems nice" he said as I agreed "Yeah, shes not when she yells though." I said to him as I looked away he grabbed my waist "Whos the guy your mom was talkin' about" chooch said as rolled my eye's playfully "That's a secret" I said "Come on you can trust me" he said pulling me closer "Maybe" I said as he rolled his eyes with a grin "Come on" "Fine! But don't jugde me!" I said looking at him "Why would I?" "it's you" I wishpered "What?" "I said it's you" I said loud as he smirked "Knew it" he said as he kissed me.

We went to bed later and he went in his bed after he turned the lights off I asumed he went to sleep but I don't know

—♡—

"He wants what!" I yelled angryliy "He wants you and oilvers girlfriend" ike said as we were all in the bathroom "Well you better get those pictures back!" I yelled at them "We can't steal them. That could be wrong" "since when did you give a shit hash!" I said "would it be wrong to set fire to em'?" Rodney asked us "You know what I can't figure out? That son of a bitch knew when we were going, he even knew where the garage was. He knows EVERYTHING" Ike pointed out then I realized, it had to be chooch. "Y/N l/n " "Pray for me" I wishpered.

—♡

In class I kept hearing moaning all over I needed to plug my ears with something,

When we got to ballroom class I got partnerd with hash "You think it's chooch?" I wishpered "For sure, it would be after all he was the one listen to us" he said as we continued to dance.

When we were In the pool room I was sitting on the floor writing another letter not paying attention to but I know they were throwing chooch off the tracks. I only started to listen when chooch spoke up "why don't you take a hike, will you?" He said as I looked at the rest of the guys "Chooch is right, we don't wanna break curfew" Oliver said they stared talking then they left I stayed there I noticed chooch made a face realizing I didn't leave "You ain't going with em'?" He asked me as I shook my head "I know you didn't snitch," I said smiling "Plus why would I leave my boyfriend" I said walking to him as he put his arm around my waist smirking "your boyfriend huh?" He said teasingly "Mhm" I said giggling

"Who do think it is?" I asked him "Rodney" he said as I made a confused face "Why Rodney?" "You don't think it's weird that he came in close to when they guys were about to see candy?" He asked as I shrugged "true" i said smiling "I can find proof easily." He said as I looked confused "Just don't go to sleep tonight" he said as I giggled

—♡—

As I was laying in my bed the lights were off and I was about to fall asleep until I heard our door close I noticed that Rodney wasn't there but I saw chooch getting up "Chooch?" I said to him as he grabbed a empty tape "follow me" he said once we were changed we followed Rodney, we walked outside and ran after him. Then we saw Liceman fighting body bags. Then we saw Rodney he started yapping about OUR plan to Him, Chooch grabbed my hand and started leading me somewhere behind a pole Then I heard liceman say "What about holt girlfriend and y/n thought of any way of getting them for me?" That's when I moved a little and a body moved

Chooch grabbed to hats and put em' on us then grabbing me waist putting me against him, then after liceman did some stuff they went away and we booked it.

—♡—

The next day at lunch Rodney walked away that's when me and chooch made eye contact and nodded he moved to where Rodney once was they all got up "Wait a minute" chooch said "We got soccer practice" they said "Guys just sit down, come on this is serious!" I said to them they looked surprised at me taking his side "Hey look I don't care what you guys think of me... but I don't like being blamed for something I didn't do," "Fine! May we leave now!" Hash said as I pulled him down immediately "No." I said to him "just shut up and listen." Then he started playing the tape where Rodney was talking about our plan to liceman

"Sorry chooch we really thought it was you," Oliver said "Yeah man. We didn't know" ike said to him "Yes! And we better call off the plan for soccer practice" "That's right! Now listen up. If you don't want those pictures to be out-" "You gotta make sure Ververgaert doesn't know how your gonna do it." Chooch said continuing my sentence "you got any ideas chooch?" Oliver asked as me and chooch made eye contact "What does liceman want more then anything else?" Chooch asked us "My balls" "My soul" "my ass" "Your girl and y/n!" Ike said as I looked down then up "You got it! Now, liceman wouldn't recognize her if he saw her would he?" "No" "Ok so here's what you gotta do. Butch Academy is coming her for the big dance. You have to make sure Ververgaert doesn't know what we're gonna do" "Okay okay wait. Good plan! What about y/n?" Ike asked looking at me "He doesn't care he has seen me, he wants me which honestly is disgusting, so I don't gotta worry I only have to seduce him with candy"

[beansprean]

This is the Kermit anon. I just made an ask. I am sorry for the lame joke, I am a little loopy on vold medicine and sleep deprivation. I've been sick for the past few weeks and it's been a lot on my body. I did get to go to a dance today which helped my mood. I got to dance irl with a friend from an online class and I learned that she was super nice and also queer. I really think we can become friends in the future, which would be amazing! My former best friend just moved away and hasn't really talked to me and I really had no one else but her during Covid, so making new friends makes me very hopeful of the future. You may be wondering why I am telling you all of this. It is because I am trying to waste your time so you will be late to the opening of The Muppet Show. Better hurry up or else their sending out your ex-wife to welcome people through the letter O of "show".

hehehehe

[ID: 1. Drawing of the artist, a white person with short green hair and a makeup cloth tucked into the front of their shirt, smiling softly at their phone with one hand on their chest as they read. 2. The artist startles and leans closer to the screen, eyes gone wide and angry with froggy pupils. 3. Close up on the last line of the ask: “because I am trying to waste your time so you will be late to the opening of the Muppet Show. Better hurry up or else their sending out your ex wife to welcome people through the letter O of ‘show’ hehehe.” 4. The artist rips off the makeup cloth and tosses it dramatically away, raising their wide open puppet mouth to the sky and shouting “FUCK!” /end ID]

I swear, Kermit anon, one day…

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this story from Inside Climate News:

Peering through a spotting scope in this remote section of eastern Oregon, Skyler Vold quietly muttered “Oh man” over and over.

In his sight was an open clearing surrounded by rolling hills of sagebrush where 22 greater sage-grouse males performed their famed and elaborate mating rituals. Every year, the sage-grouse come to locations like these, called leks. In these communal breeding grounds, males waddle around and pop their inflatable white neck pouches to reveal their inner yellowish-brown air sacs while making a cooing sound audible from a distance, all in an attempt to court a mate. It was too late in the mating season for the dancers to have much luck that morning, with most females already laying eggs, and by 8 a.m., they had returned to their homes among the brush from which they derive their name. 

The 22 males spotted were the most ever recorded at the site, according to Vold, the sage-grouse conservation coordinator with the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife. It’s one of the country’s last strongholds of sagebrush, a landscape that is rapidly disappearing due to climate change, invasive species, human development and wildfires that are growing bigger and hotter. 

Sagebrush is vital to their survival, serving as shelters in which they nest and raise their young, and a food source in the winter, when snow often covers every other plant. The bird’s gut has evolved to remove toxins from the leaves, miraculously allowing them to have incredibly high survival rates despite the harsh conditions.

Roughly 1.3 million acres of sagebrush landscape are lost every year. And while millions of sage-grouse once filled the West across 11 states, their population has plummeted by 80 percent since 1965, according to federal government data. 

For decades, groups have petitioned to have the sage grouse listed as endangered by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, and in 2010, USFWS determined a listing was warranted but in 2015, the secretary of the interior announced the species did not meet the criteria to be listed because of a management plan finalized that year to protect the bird. 

Since then, however, the plan to manage the bird has been in limbo, with multiple lawsuits and changing presidential administrations with different views on conservation stalling its implementation and forcing decision-makers to repeatedly return to the drawing board. Protecting the bird while also supporting economic development like oil gas drilling, cattle grazing and mining throughout the vast region where greater sage grouse are found has turned into one of the most challenging land management issues confronting Western states and the Interior Department in recent decades. As development of a coordinated regional management plan has stalled for nearly a decade, each state has been left to manage its population largely independently, with mixed results. 

Now, the Bureau of Land Management—the nation’s largest landowner, which oversees most sage-grouse habitat—has proposed a plan to manage the bird’s habitat in areas it manages as the Biden administration races to finalize programs to better prioritize conservation on public lands that will drastically change how public lands in the U.S. are managed. 

“The majesty of the West and its way of life are at stake. Sagebrush lands are places where people work and play, and they are the headwaters for the West’s major rivers,” said BLM Director Tracy Stone-Manning in a statement announcing the plan in March. “Joint efforts to conserve the greater sage-grouse and its habitat led to the largest collaborative conservation effort in our history, and we are building on that work, together with our partners, to ensure the health of these lands and local economies into the future.”

[nickstarking]

Fabien: Happy Father's Day daddy *hands over the drawing*

Tom/Vold: How beautiful *grab*..... Who is this megalomaniac guy with red eyes, bald, pale, noseless, ugly and with snake-like features here?

Fabien: It's how you are inside.

Tom: Ah, how beautiful I am on the inside *holds back so as not to give avada kedavra to his own son*

WAS IT POTTER WHO MADE YOU DRAW THAT?

Ivan: He's just a baby

Tom: IT WAS HIM

(Tom Riddle x my oc)

(note: I write seriously in my fanfics, but in random sections like Tumblr I go more for comedy)

[iluvluvnutella]

YONA 234 SPOILER SUMMARY

Kaji was locked up but he wasn't shown so I dunno if Chagol hurt him or nah...

Kouka x Xing armies surprised attack at South Kai camp.

Yona suggested a strategy to Suwon to move their troops with torches, while her team DDHHB, five stars and Val will infiltrate the camp, bcoz she wanna end the battle asap and Suwon put it in order. Keishuk asking Suwon what happened with "don't go too far"? Suwon said tbh it's troublesome to take back Meinyan and Hiryuu castle isn't doing well either. but he also wanna end the battle soon, so it seems like they're both looking into the same path.

Suwon inner monologue: "but I choose to believe in her power."

Hak suddenly carry Yona on his back, Jaeha was like, can you guys pls stop flirting this time. Then Hak hop on Jaeha's back 😆 South Kai camp is surrounded by walls, and Hak said it's only him who can do it. Jaeha says that he's not a grasshopper lol But he still jump anyway 😌

Kija, Algira and Yotaka destroyed the wall!!! 😆😆😆

Jaeha saying he's trying to give them a quiet ride but they do it so loudly. Kija, Algira, Yotaka be like, "it's faster this way." 🤣🤣🤣

Jaeha was like, Yona chan, you picked wrong people. (Yun"s not with them btw)

South Kai soldiers are coming, Algira said they'll draw them away so DDHHB and Val can find Meinyan. Soldiers asking if they're from Kouka

Yotaka: from Xing kingdom

Algira: We're the Five stars

Vold: it's just the 3 of us, but we're Five stars. 😭

Soldier: who? (lmao)

Dragons feeling better even after fallen down, Kija said maybe bcoz Princess Yona is nearby that's keeping his strength. Jaeha suddenly joke and said maybe if they stick to Yona they'll get more power, Yona believes it and stick on him, and this made Jaeha blush 😆

Zeno noticed a strange person standing on top of the tent. It's a dromo, but suddenly disappear and went straight behind Yona, touched her hair and said, "red hair..."

Hak tried to attack him but vanished again. Shinah can see his move and they follow him.

everyone trynna chase the dromo, Val left behind. Gen. Ran arrives behind Val telling him to turn his face, he's an intruder and bout to attack him, then Yona intervene, last panel showing Hak's glaive.

A reunion with a good opponent.

Next Chapter, December 5th.

[the-vold]

The Girlies at the concert 🥳

[braxix]

My 2023 AO3 works. I posted 20,832 words last year! That isn't counting the 20k fic I didn't post or the works that got lost when my writing program decided to give up and stop opening. That is why Through a Coffee Shop Window actually abruptly stopped being updated. I lost the story and then lost motivation to rewrite it.

The full list is after the break. Decided it was too long to do a full post without a break for those who don't want to read through the list. If you want to look up the stories they are on AO3 under Qorianth. You will have to sift through the older fics first if you don't just go straight to my profile.

Monster (or Not)

653 words

Rated G

Series: Silence is Deafening

It's a fluff eldritch!Peredhel fic where Maedhros and Maglor have to convince the twins that they(the twins) are not monsters.

Do make sure to read the tags even though its rated G

Customs of the Living do Not Effect the Dead

759 words

Rated T

Series: The Dead Know Not Where the Living Dwell

They talk about customs of the burial and mourning for the deceased.

Read the tags! It talks about some pretty dark things and is part of an overall rated M series.

Doubting Minds Tarry Long in the World

633 words

Rated M

Series: The Dead Know Not Where the Living Dwell

Maglor's view on some dietary... supplements.

Sometimes

1,335 words

Rated G

Series: N/A

Elrond slowly realizing how many of his traits he got from Maedhros.

KIDNAP FAM!

The End

247 words

Rated T

Series: N/A

It's a poem I wrote drawing up the similarities to the Apocalypse in the Bible and Dagor Dagorath.

Predators of the Battlefield, A Survivors Tale

799 words

Rated M

Series: The Dead Know Not Where the Living Dwell

Celeborn stumbles upon the Noldor acting strangely after a battle, he quickly finds out why.

Upon Those Pearly Shores

213 words

Rated T

Series: To See the Trees

Artanis and Findar��to come upon the First Kinslaying.

I Bow to No One

610 words

Rated M

Series: Evil Elrond

Elrond finally snaps and decides he isn't going to settle for what he's got.

Hey look, it's my Evil Elrond series! This was actually pretty popular for awhile.

Memories

506 words

Rated G

Series: N/A

Elrond doesn't want to remember, Maglor can only remember, and Galadriel is so done with them.

Of Countless Whispers and Ceaseless Screams

4,098 words

Rated M

Series: The Dead Know Not Where the Living Dwell and Evil Elrond

There's been many strange disappearances around Lindon. Galadriel is set on figuring this out even though she's on vacation.

The Art of Love

878 words

Rated G

Series: N/A... (Yet)

How many times can something break your heart? As long as you love it.

A Trio of Stars

1,098 words

Rated T

Series: What If...?

What if the twins were willing given over to Maedhros by Elwing?

Through a Coffee Shop Window

5,166 words

Rates G

Series: N/A

Maglor just wants a coffee. Elwing just wants a bit of fun.

Sometimes the Unplanned is the Best Plan of All

1,306 words

Rated G

Series: Amidst the Vold Mountains

A fluffy generic kidnap fan fic where Maedhros is upset that Maglor took the twins, Maglor is unrepentant, and the twins just want to help.

The Open Hand of God

2,056 words

Rated G

Series: Of Power Unforetold

The elves feel the the Valar abandoned them. Good thing there's another closer being to protect them. Elrond is so tired of this

An Eldritch Elrond fic

I'd Die for You

745 words

Rated T

Series: What If...?

Elrond has a nightmare of the night Sauron returned and destroyed Eregion.

[girldigital]

I'm not very good at maintaining a presence here which is good.

Yesterday I got higher than expected and  got visited by these thoughts I often keep buried deep.

I tweeted:

“Do you think it’s cool to have grown up ugly and insane but to have become beautiful and good at being normal and to marry knowing you tricked your partner into getting into a union with a monster.

i will pretend for you but the horror i feel when i think about if you were to see through the blinds”

Why is it that I don’t believe what I’ve become? Like I’ve hijacked someone else’s life that wasn’t meant for me. I think about the movie Us a lot. More than I should probably. Besides the grander implications of it which I think unfortunately do reflect the way capitalism has rotted our world and turned it into genetic lottery, I often feel like I’m not in the right place. This wasn't the life predetermined for this arab muslim girl.

I’ve always had a fascination with shapeshifters – Ditto, Mystique, Kirby. Their ability to become anything they want when they please has always been such a draw to me. I used to attribute it to me being a Gemini but I think it goes deeper than that. That demon used to say that was because I had no real sense of self and that I was confused. As much as he probably said that to further belittle me, I don't think he was entirely wrong. I’ve come to realize that, while I dropped my dreams of becoming an actor professionally, much of my life has turned into acting in all facets, and I’m not sure where the line between authenticity and performing is anymore. Maybe I never knew.

It saddens me to think about just how awfully I think of myself. I like to think that I am a confident person, knowing my worth and what I bring to the table. However, once I get into that state of mind and these sort of intrusive thoughts come to the forefront, I can’t help but realize that these are very real feelings I harbor about myself.

I’ve always been a pretty self-deprecating person. I think growing up the butt of the joke, you kind of have to take the bull by its horns in order to have some sort of control over the narrative. What’s interesting is that I don’t even think I technically need to do that anymore.

Before, I knew I was othered. Of course, probably a lot of it was made bigger in my head than it was in reality, but I was always a bit different.

I was quirky, as much as I hate to say it. Uneven bangs, crooked teeth and permanent dark circles was how you could spot me. I always had a bit of an eclectic sense of style, having breakdowns in the shower wondering what sub-category of fashion could I possibly fall under: Skater? Emo? Preppy? Never being enough for each, I always felt lost.

I never had a tribe to cling on to, always floating and morphing according to my surroundings and who I was interested in pleasing at the time.

While I was very clumsy at first, just like any skill you hone with time, I actually became pretty proeficient at it. It took very long and multiple different iterations, some more successful than others before I got to where I am.

All my life, I thought I couldn’t have the life I secretly was hoping for – both due to all the restrictions that were imposed onto me.

I had given up my fate to one of obediency and surrender. I wasn’t strong enough to fight for what I longed for and I was content with what I had, thanks to the amazing friends I was lucky enough to cross paths with and to my somewhat niche interests which I could find solace in by myself.

I used to say I was often alone but never lonely. I always enjoyed my own presence. While I felt envy towards the extroverted and popular girls, the more you grow the more you realize when something isn’t for you and it makes no sense to crave it if

Anyway, I think this conversation also ties in with gender and sexuality unfortunately. It’s a huge mess that needs untangling and I’ve been avoiding doing so for so long. It’s like that one scene in H*rry P*tter with the baby Voldemort in a room. I simply do not want to have to deal with it so I keep the door closed.

Like I said, I’ve always wanted to be the pretty extroverted girl. When it became obvious to me that I was very bad at playing that part, despite the efforts that were consuming my every day, I started settling in what came more naturally to me. I presented a bit more androgynously and, though many would like to disagree, in a way that’s less desirable. I started finding empowerment in not blending in, in making up my own rules and defying what was asked of me, as a woman.

However, while I found self-love, I also found a new form of self-disgust. One caused by knowing I was undesirable to others. One that couldn’t associate sex appeal with the mockery I had made out of myself. I’ve always considered myself to be bisexual, but coming from where I am from, that’s often harder to put into practice than I’d like to. I know I’m not straight; I’ve felt it my entire life. It’s just that the muslim self-hatred associated with that, the trauma of m**********, male validation and just compulsory heterosexyality is a very tough combo to fight.

Especially when all you’ve grown up with is heterosexual aspirations, heterosexual porn, hetero hetero hetero.

Anyway, I’ll try to wrap it up since I already wrote a lot and am literally at work lol.

Ever since I started having sex, I’ve felt like a fraud. I know a lot of it is the guilt speaking, but even with that aside. I remember looking at myself in the mirror, skinny, blonde, desirable, thinking about how merely a year before I was heavy, had short hair, acne, and was overall just ugly. How the guy I was sleeping with would probably never have laid eyes on me had our paths crossed merely a year prior, and now here I am using him for sex. It was a strange place to get to in my life, for I never expected that I could actually land where I am.

In a way, I felt sort of like a villain. Like the king in Shrek, living his entire life as a lie, knowing he was a frog all a long, and perhaps not destined for the greatness and access he achieved. Crazy how there’s an allegory reflected in animation for every situation in life, it’s so funny. Anyway, this situation is also reminiscent of something far more sinister, but I cannot recall the reference.

In sum, I do feel like a witch, who’s taken control of this girl’s beautiful body and who’s playing the part of a cool girl despite being an absolute dork underneath. I wasn’t born cool and beautiful, I just learned to be.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

The feminine urge to draw bellatrix in different outfits and moods 😔

This is... oddly endearing. I like the second one best. The detail on the corset, the little magical ghost coming from her wand.

@crucioslut

[pawprint2005]

~The Darkness~

So, I have a book I have been working on called “King of Darkness and the Unwanted” It is a story that starts when the Kings take a bit of the color crystal and leave Sabre. So does Light Steve. If I am being honest, the story is kind of everywhere with how it is going😅

Anyway, I have the drawings of the main characters ready. Dark Steve, Shadow Sabre, and King Sabre.

And I am being Demon Vold into the story at some point so I wanted to draw him to

Here is all of them! They look great if I do say so myself 👍, anyways we will talk a little about them, beginning with Sabre and why he has wings✨✨

So I do not want to get much away seeing that it will give the story I have but the wings are his way of flying, instead of how Steve just does the Superman their flying, or at least that is how I imagine it

Shadow Sabre does not need the wings but since he is the shadow of Sabre, I felt it would make more sense that he would end up with some wings as well

I put shadow in armor because I feel he would be more in control of the army with the darkness seeing that they are no longer just shadows like they were before. So he is mostly ever seen in armor. He can transform into whatever outfits he wants with only needing to think about it👍

With Dark Steve, I wanted to push his design. I wanted him to only really have the shape of a Steve but look like smoke. So I am happy with how this came out. I have his Yellow and Orange eyes because that is what he absorbed before Sabre and I wanted to keep a little bit of that with him. And I wanted him to look well dressed seeing he would be one of the leaders of the village that he and Shadow and Sabre made.

I have nothing on Demon Vold right now but I tried to make the horns look somewhat like a halo.

I did my best 👍👍

With that, I plan to show the “shadow sword” in the next drawing I do here. Just to let you know it will be like the red crown from the cult of the Lamb ✨✨

[bluismie]

oh boy another Klance sketch in the holy year of 2021-

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