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'VIEWS FROM THE EDGE' - w/c 31st July 2023
Dream Wife ‘Leech’
Reflekt Featuring Delline Bass ‘Need To Feel Loved (Radio Edit)’
Roberto Diana ‘Airport Dance’
The Buggles ‘Video Killed The Radio Star’
Julia Lee ‘Lotus Blossom (Sweet Marijuana)’
The Telescopes ‘We See Magic and We are Neutral, Unnecessary’
Maya Waked ‘Bi Beirut’
John Coghlan’s Status Quo ‘Lockdown’
Blue Pearl ‘Naked In The Rain’
Betty Curse ‘Met On The Internet’
Autumn Animals ‘Through The Window’
Broken Social Scene ‘Stay Happy’
Mango In Euphoria ‘Goddess’
Angelica Infante ‘Rock Dentro De Mi’
Tomás Doncker & the True Groove All-Stars ‘Let Me Be Dirty’
Sam Huber ‘Rock & Roll Savior’
Sinead O’Connor ‘ Mandinka’
Sinead O’Conner ‘ Nothing Compares 2 U’
Sinead O’Connor ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’
Roxy Music ‘Pyjamarama’
The Delta Sound ‘Here & Waiting’
Faysha ‘Gimme Your Love’
T Rex ‘Mambo Sun’
Deep Purple ‘Flight Of The Rat’
Bobby Womack ‘Across 110th Street’
Dua Lipa ‘Hotter Than Hell (Jack Wins Remix)’
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genuinely so many of you want to be leftist and "punk" and countercultural soooooo bad but you refuse to become comfortable with the concept of people taking drugs for fun because they like it and not because they were somehow tricked or forced into it without knowing what they were getting themselves into
you'll be like "addiction is a disease!!" but think you're better than those degenerate stoners because you only drink energy drinks and white claws and would never touch "illegal drugs"
many if not most drugs CAN be consumed completely safely with almost 0 risk to the user and even if that werent true and all drugs were extremely dangerous you still wouldn't be better than those of us who love doing drugs recreationally
lighten up and grow up. get offline, talk to real adults, and stop being shocked to discover that they enjoy doing stuff that adults do like have sex and do drugs and even listen to rock and roll
#put punk in parantheses bc yall are hardcore straight edge at best lmao#goes to a punk show in someones basement and gasps when i see people snorting coke off each other in the corner#anyway heres your regular reminder from your friendly neighborhood drug addict that drugs can be and often are consumed safely#LSD‚ MDMA‚ psilocybin‚ cannabis of course‚ ketamine‚ coke‚ whippets. these are all drugs that i personally have used#and that are completely safe when used correctly and by someone who doesn't have some sort of allergy#even if someone is on a dangerous drug like meth or heroin you are not better than them#in fact theyre probably a lot chiller than your ass if youre still viewing drugs as a thing for 'degenerates' to do#literally can not hang out with non druggies anymore bc they cannot stop themselves from moralizing it#i mention that my vape has thc in it and i get That Look and a bunch of 'i would never smoke weed. i mean its fine. i just would NEVER'#i get it! you view drugs as a thing thats only for poor people or people who dont care about themselves or whatever#i call that the go ask alice effect. people will think you smoked weed then immediately had sex got pregnant and died of a heroin overdose#even when they think theyre being super progressive
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*grips Shen Qingqiu by the shoulders*
aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you want to crack under the pressure of the system and the robbed autonomy of being forced into a role you had no choice in but have to play anyways? don't you want to buckle under the realization that, to you, no matter what you do your life is going to end in a horrific death? Whether that be under Luo Binghe's hands or the System's?
Don't you want to realize that no matter all the good you have done and the lives you have changed and saved, you're still standing at the ledge of a cliff with a sword to your disciple's chest?
Shouldn't it be you at the edge instead? Balancing on the crumbling dirt's end of death on either side, and you can either walk into it or be forced?
don't you want to go apeshit?
#I AM SO NORMAL YOU GUYS I PROMISE *visibly foaming at the mouth and gritting my teeth so hard you can hear them crack*#svsss#scum villain#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#scum villain self saving system#HI YES I MAY NOT HAVE READ THE NOVEL AND ONLY BEEN HERE FOR A WEEK BUT I AM. OBSESSED. FIXATED IF YOU WILL#luo binghe standing at the edge of the endless abyss and he sees something snap in his shizun's eyes like metal creaking under#the pressure of the deep sea. or like heat rising too quickly. the steady slow snap of someone hanging on by a thread.#i dont think i've fully understood sqq's characterization howEVER. i think i've got enough of his character down to try and twist it the wa#i think could happen. forgive me if this isnt in character or anything ajhf#anyways i love isekai anything and i think the system could slowly drive someone who didnt ask to be here insane#SY adjusts rather quickly from what i've heard but what if he DIDN'T. what if it wasnt fine what if he was trying his best and it was#taking its toll because apparently trying his best just wasnt enough. his stubborn refusal to view the people around him as people#but as characters following a script is very frustrating to me but also it works in my favor for this. look at the best way to break him is#*stares at SQQ* i think he should go apeshit. as a treat. skin a man alive SQQ. bite someone. rip out their throat.#i know thats prolly not his character but what if it COULD be. what if it IS. people are so nuanced and niche and can change at the turn#of a dime and SQQ has been forced into an unfavorable position and frankly traumatic experience. he could change or he could not and#isnt that FASCINATING? to erode or to stand tall. are you copper or are you a canyon. will you change colors and stay the same or will you#crumble and shear and become something new? when facing the elements when facing the inevitable what will you become?
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the edge of sleep show had a bit of jank but i honestly really enjoyed it for that, it felt surreal and Weird in a similar way to how i view the janky voice acting in the original Silent Hill 2 where it really added to it. i'm not even a markiplier fan or anything but i had a lot of fun w it
#tbh w indie productions all ever really i ask for is like#1) did it look good#2) did i enjoy the base concept#and 3) did i have fun#and it ticked all those boxes#i will say some of the cinematography was REALLY inspired#i did like mark as an actor but i found his character dave a little bland? but that was fine#and honestly some of the weirder character decisions make sense when viewed from the lens of them being like. severely sleep deprived#BECAUSE HONESTLY SOMETIMES THEY MAKE SOME VERY SILLY DECISIONS#BUT IT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE DYING OF SLEEP DEPRIVATION#the edge of sleep#starscream.txt
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horizontober 2023 | 10: favorite tribe (banuk!)
#horizontober2023#horizon zero dawn#hzd#the frozen wilds#banuk#hzd npcs#hzd song's edge#the banuk are def my favorite and i was so sad they were absent from hfw :(#the frozen wilds was suuuuuuuch a good dlc#i really loved everything about it (except getting wrecked by that first scorcher lmao)#i'm a person who would much prefer to be cold rather than hot so i'm a fan of their location#also love the color blue which they seem to favor#and love the story of banukai and the shamans and how they view the machines#their philosophy does seem a bit harsh to (soft pitiful) me but then again so is their environment#also they have some of the most badass headgear#(there are a lot more pics i would have liked to have taken but i'm not at home rn so this was done under crunch conditions lol)
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Danse has to get homesick In Sanctuary. Like despite being uncertain of how much his past is real including times with the Brotherhood, those memories were home. The Brotherhood was home especially the Prydwen.
No matter all the comfort and the luxuries SoSu could put to make him feel more relaxed or like it’s his space it’s still not home. It’s so unique to him cause everyone else has a home in a sense. A thing or place they can come and go to as they please while Danse doesn’t. He can never go back to the people he considered family and they can never go to him without serious consequences. It doesn’t help that (due to his own faults and beliefs) a good majority of the new people in his life do not exactly like him.
It’s so isolating for him as the wasteland is also a different culture in general. Theres so much he’s not used to vs what he is. But all in all I think that’s a good thing. I feel as if Danse had a better arc in game it would 100% have him learning or developing a sense of home before a sense of self. I think it gets overlooked that Danse is a person that likes or feels like he needs to belong to something. A cause, a philosophy, a mission. He needs a goal. He must learn to live for himself and his purpose but it’s clear he wants to find that through something which is why he latches onto the Sole Survivor after rather than just wander the wastes. He needs something, anything to base a sense of self on at this point in time and who better than the person that opened their home to him in the first place.
He’s a dude that needs a foundation or home to ground himself on or else he doesn’t know what to do with himself or even start.
#my persona take it that’s why despite Danse being an ass to the other companions at time SoSu gets it cause they remember when they just#woke up from the vault#like the world was so different and the things they thought were outdated wrong or nonexistent by now#Danse has a long way to go but they know how hard and detrimental it can be to do it by yourself and they know Danse would get better if he#actually learned and lived under not the bigots of steel#cause I put him in sanctuary after and he always stays far from everyone like strong and patrols the edge like he’s avoiding everyone or he#is not comfortable there so I imagine he’s like getting used to and actually letting it settle he’s a synth#his life if he wants to call it that is a lie and th wonky place he felt like he had a purpose now wants him dead#and finds him a disgrace and he certainly does to cause of bos propaganda#like he’s racist but the story clearly shows you it’s like this is what been enstilled in him cause he can get better that blind betrayal#and before I get someone being like but he only gets better cause he experiences the oppression and like yeah#he got yanked out of a pseudo religious organization with highly conservative views for the setting and was put at thr opposing end despite#all hes done and rhe brotherhoods supposed loyalty to each other doimg nothing tk belp#him and now hes realizing thag if he was a synth and didnt know ans lived a life fully beliving he was human#than maybe the brotherhood was wrong abouy things or at least synths#like hes not gonna change over night and bethany esda certainly does not know how to right charactwr arcs well in this game#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse#danse fallout 4#talking about him like i ever side with the brotherhood
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pia is my one non-circle mage oc (I don't think calling them a hedge mage or an apostate is as useful even though it's technically correct-they were never trained in a circle but I think the crow's perspective on magic probably isn't completely divorced from andrastianism, even if they don't really have templars. now I'm thinking abt crows potentially calling in templars/training some mage handlers in templar-like abilities to handle mage fledglings that are too dangerous to continue training...hm)
but all that to say I realized she's my only mage who hasn't gone through a Harrowing! but they have an experience that's...close enough...to prove she's not susceptible to posession. at some point before being promoted to full assassin pia gets veerrrry pissed off at some of the other fledglings (baby pia is a very easy target for bullies) and it reminds her of her general anger at the situation she's in (leashed to the crows w no other real connections) and nearly burns down a building/invites in a rage demon. one of the handlers calms them down and they learn better control but i do think that's the moment they...lock their own cage, so to speak.
#ari speaks#pia de riva#this is all pre-viago taking over in my personal timeline#so pia by the time they meet viago is Extremely stuck in the crowsona. quiet. precise. carefully honed weapon. perfect obedience#so they dont get killed and maybe theyre a valuable enough asset to be given some room to breathe later on.#and since i do enjoy viago as an older brother figure and as someone who is in the minority with how he views the crows#i think that viago sees that pia is useful but also that pia is like 2 bad experiences away from losing their sense of personhood.#so when pia expects him to drive in a knife he instead offers a hand (in a Viago way) and keeps her off the edge.#which gives her the opportunity to save herself from a darker path BUT puts a target on their back even before they botch a job.#ANYWAY back to the rage demon thing i experienced a vision in my head of a young pia w fire in her eyes at the center of a growing blaze#rage demon on one side whispering 'arent you tired of it? the indignity?'#handler on the other side calling her 'little bird' in calming tones but reminding her that if she chooses this out it will end painfully
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So sad my motivation to do art dies so quickly due to multiple reasons. I’ve really got to try and get out this rut of hoping for more from my art when of course it’s not going to do so when it’s not fandom art nor do I post often enough 💀
anyway, have a doodle of Devious with his son when he was younger as that one picture.
#is this a rant? not really more a talk into the void to convince myself xD#I often kick myself for dipping from social media during the peak of my art popularity.#It was popular because of FE3H but my oc stuff got some views too it was good#but overwhelming so I left.#So double edged sword#anyway might delete later but it’s a big hill to climb and I’ll get over it🫡💪#buggee randoms
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millie isn’t even still alive cause anyone ever brought her back. she just lives and lives and lives. she’s lucky. she’s good at her job. she has the last minute miracles, but never the ones that need to reach far beyond the grave, just the ones that pull your guts back in where they should be.
what’s dead should stay dead. she knows sam and dean would put her on the pyre and move on. she knows it. she knows it. (she’s not giving them a chance to prove her wrong.)
#spn oc#i think millie being alive is a horror story of its own. sam and dean can’t stop dying but she can’t stop living.#not with the reckless thrill of someone who knows they’ll go on forever but with her fingers wrapped around the sharp edge of her life and#clinging on until it cuts them down to bone.#i think it terrifies her that she might die and it won’t matter enough to end the world over.#i think she ripped gabriel’s corpse apart and preserved what she could because from her point of view. it didn’t matter what he’d done.#and like we know that’s wrong. we know gabriel’s death mattered on the point of getting through to lucifer enough that he contemplated#leaving the chessboard. but millie doesn’t. she just knows gabriel died and she wanted him to save himself. god she wanted him to save#himself. dean might have wanted him to stand up and be a hero but millie wanted an alive coward over a martyr.#she’s selfish like that. she really is. but he died. and it didn’t matter.#and that’s what she’s scared of. she won’t matter and she won’t come back and that’s it. show’s over.#if she’s drowning toss her barbed wire and she’ll grab hold if it means you’ll pull her out of the water. you know.
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'VIEWS FROM THE EDGE' - w/c 8th May 2023
Frightened Rabbit ‘Blood Under The Bridge’
Red Hot Chilli Peppers ‘Under The Bridge’
JOANovARC ‘Peace Of Mind’
The Knife ‘We Share Our Mother’s Health’
Julian Cope ‘Sunspots’
Kala Chng ‘Fire’
Tegan & Sara ‘Northshore’
Lisa Stansfield ‘All Around The World’
Grace Jones ‘I’m Crying (My Mother’s Tears)’
DBMG/RAF: die Baader-Meinhof Gruppe / Red Army Faction ‘Fistula’
Easter Street ‘Burn Your Bridges’
P J Harvey ‘Victory’
Tracy Chapman ‘Talkin’ Bout A Revolution’
Steel Pulse ‘Handsworth Revolution’
Bo Bruce ‘The Fall’
Holly Drummond ‘I See Fire’
Johnny McEvoy ‘James Connolly’
Puppet Theory ‘Strike Three’
She Drew The Gun ‘Where I End You Begin’
She Drew The Gun ‘What Will You Do’
She Drew The Gun ‘Something For The Pain’
Bjork ‘Who Is It (Carry My Joy On the Left Carry My Pain On the Right) [Radio Edit]’
Emmerson, Lake & Palmer ‘The Sage (Live at Newcastle City Hall, 26/03/71’
Hawkwind ‘Motorway City’
Alice Cooper ‘Elected’
Adam McNaughtan ‘Fitba’ Crazy’
Samantha Fish ‘Road Runner’
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realisation that lenú and lila l’amica geniale are the equal and opposite reaction to tenoch and Julio y tu mamá también
#The repressed working class 60’s Neapolitan lesbians versus the repressed 2000’s middle & upper class Mexican bisexuals#In either case! It’s about class! And a nation at a juncture! And violence seeping at the edges! And repressed queer sexuality#Julio and tenoch fuck once and never talk to each other again lenú and Lila never fuck (acc’d the books) and end up in a psychosexual#Codependency for half a century#Either way! Class issues and the most insane teenage behavior you’ve ever seen and trips to the beach!#L’amica geniale#Y tu mamá también#something about the jealousy rage pent up rage pent up grief at what can’t be I want to put your head through a window I want your life I#Want to be you I want to destroy you forever#The way Julio views tenoch the way Lila vies lenú#I think there’s also so much that’s fascinating in the way l’amica geniale is about Napoli and the way t tu mamá también is about Mexico#With the internal center/periphery dynamics#A story about two poor girls from the ocean-adjacent working class area#And their struggle to/journey to the national capital to the middle and upper classes to the center#And then the story about the boys from the comparatively upper echelons of Mexico City driving out to Chiapas to the beach#Perfect inverses!#A weekend versus fourty years
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Alpha 5 shaded like how Lethal Company procedurally generates its game shaders!!!
#so how Lethal Company generates its shaders*: 860x520 game res*> realistic shaded layer>dupe of that layer w/ posterisation>light layer>#dupe layer w/ posterisation(bloom w/ lowish opacity)>edge detection to outline objects and folds at close range(5-7ft radius?)>#low opacity fog layer(?)>radial fog layer>weather effects>model layer*>colour correction>game res correction to 1920x1080#*1 this is all from memory from a video Acerola made on the graphics(go check it out pleaase)#*2 this is how the game looks so low quality; it is low quality#*2a its not faked w/ a filter; adds warp to the screen which adds to the vibe somehow#*3 the camera view is actually in the helmet so thats how that works. thats how the cracks on the glass have shading when you move#I love alpha 5#heart emoji#best boy ever#my baby boy#he is so cute look at him#his little head tilts are always going to make me giggle#i love him#pixelart#pixelartist#alpha 5#power rangers#fanart#show fanart#bustshot#shaded#experimental shading style#lethal company mention#consciousexeart
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Finished 15 December 2024:
Horror Movie - Paul Tremblay
I don't even know what to say about this one, except that I hope we get a film adaptation, and also I'm not even sure how one would film this.
(Maybe since it is a novel that claims to be an audiobook about a lost film, it should be adapted as a miniseries instead, to keep the trend going of never quite being a movie.)
This is a Tremblay story through and through, in all the best ways, but it also made me think of I Saw the TV Glow, House of Leaves, and Petscop, all of which I love, and at one point had me reflecting on how it was doing something far better than Skinamarink did. If any of those comparisons help anyone decide if they are or are not likely to enjoy this.
#ms p reads 2024#no one asked you ms p#i am familiar with more obscure horror films than the majority of people i think#but i had only heard of a couple of the ones on Tremblay's list of underrated horror at the back of this#which means i have some viewing to do!#(i also have never seen texas chainsaw massacre and maybe i should considering he also claims not to be a slasher fan)#(although i suspect from what i know about it that it still very much would not be for me#i don't particularly like gore for its own sake but that isn't what really bothers me in the horror movies i steer clear of)#(I don't know we'll see--this novel tiptoed right up to the edge of the type of torture i just can't deal with#and i really enjoyed it and will want to revisit it again in a way i never ever will with cabin at the end of the world so again we'll see)
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it's probably the sunnier weather that's doing stuff to my brain to make me more optimistic but it's so interesting having a brain that craves a lot of self-fulfillment to the point where I can move past some hang-ups around perfection by going "oh I really wanna do that though" and then I do it well because researching how to do it right is also a rewarding part of the process
#it comes with the double edged sword of dropping projects as soon as they become a bit more involved/difficult#or when they don't feel fulfilling#but maybe it's better to take a break and come back to something with new knowledge ?#maybe it's good that my brain has a built in 'if it sucks hit da bricks' function ?#i just wish that i had more stamina for these things when they start lacking intrinsic rewards#it just feels like compared to my other family members i lose steam very very quickly and since we all have the same disorder i should be-#- 'just as capable'... but honest to god my under-activity feels SO severe#it honestly feels like compared to others my threshold for mental exhaustion is half the normal benchmark it should be#you know how there were studies done that found that 4 hours is the maximum amount of time people can work before a decline in efficiency?#i swear to god when the activity is something i have no internal reward for it takes 1-2 hours for that decline to start. and my brain -#- crashes HARD. my eyes start to glaze over. i start forgetting how to speak. my brain starts acting like it's 2-3 am and that i need to -#- sleep. i don't push myself not because i coddle myself but because i perform WAY worse. my work becomes unintelligible#or if it's some other kind of task (such as cleaning) my brain desperately tries to take shortcuts in order to get it done#i am trying to avoid a situation where i have to fix up the shitty job i did after the fact!#it's just kind of crazy to me how this is viewed as laziness LOL 'you did a bad job!' because i was pushed past my limit!#not to mention... i get burned out for DAYS if i push myself too hard. i am trying to conserve my efficiency#if you want me to do a better job... i need more time. and trust me: i'll do an excellent job if you let me rest#i am a very smart and capable person who cares about doing a good job - and i have a fine eye for smaller details as well#the trade-off here is i'll need some time to find joy and fulfillment somewhere else for a little bit while i rest. let me excel ok?#idk where this high self esteem came from other than like. realizing i wrote an entire research proposal in such short time#while receiving positive feedback with very few notes for improvement. i just sat down an added another section today based on -#-feedback and realized like 'wait. i know what i'm doing and i probably care about this far more than the average classmate'#i've been having a lot of thoughts lately and i sort of want to get to the bottom of how i have a difficult time coping w/ burnout#and i also want to figure out how to offset the costs of the stuff i need to do... it's a process
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in the Horrors bonanza year that has been 2024 nobody expected the oldest and dearest Horrors of all (covid horrors) to make a third act comeback
#:)#girl who is so clinically vulnerable she's one of the like 10 people the nhs is actually offering the covid vaccine to this winter#anyway for those not in the know my parents are super extreme anti the covid vaccine#and went to great lengths to keep me from getting it in 2021 that were very deranged and tiring to think about#and then went to an antivax rally right at the height of the winter 2021 outbreak and gave me covid from that#and i was so sick i was bedbound until april sleeping 20 hours a day with circulation/bp issues and lost 175 pounds in 12 months#and then entered the 'catching covid very bad every few weeks' carousel that most of you will be familiar with#which probably ultimately ended up being the thing that killed my organs and put me in critical care lmao#anyway!! my health developments did NOT sway my parents' views on anything so the minute they figure out i've been offered this#the good old brainworms will once more take center stage and girls i have too much going on to endure this shit again#genuinely think if things get dumb over this it'll be the final straw that actually pushes me over the edge lmfao
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we're all the worst kind of chrome samurai now
AVAILABLE NOW on ITCH.IO!
The year is 2023 and it is the future.
Corporations rule the streets of the Infinite City. Skyscrapers blot out the blackened sky. The rain is constant and smells like sulfide. Bosozoku patrol the alleys, protests against the Black Shakes fill the streets, and the media doesn't give a damn anymore.
You are one of the chosen, to be sure; one of the few, to be pure. Make your way through the dystopian hellfuture. Steal to make your living. Build a new future for yourself. You're gonna get out of this or you're going to die trying.
Play as a COP, CORPO, FIXER, MEDIA, NOMAD, ROCKER, SOLO or TECH. Carve out a name for yourself. Stick it to the bastards once and for all.
A VIEW FROM THE EDGE 2023 is a retroclone of the classic 1993/2020 edition of the classic cyberpunk roleplaying game. In this edition, we have strived to keep all rules and tables compatible with the original release but updated the layout and design to modern standards.
GET IT HERE!
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