#BECAUSE HONESTLY SOMETIMES THEY MAKE SOME VERY SILLY DECISIONS

[eventualforever]

haven (domestic! hamzah x reader, nsfw) ☁️

summary: y/n and hamzah spend a calm morning, hidden in the sanctuary of their home. y/n braids her hair and it drives hamzah crazy.

mentions: fluff, explicit content

Sunday mornings with Hamzah were your favorite. The two of you cocooned in your bedroom, basking in the kind of peace that came with being free from obligations. Neither of you had any plans to leave and honestly, there wasn’t a reason to. He had no videos to edit, no podcasts to record, and you had no tests to grade or lessons plans to finalize. The rare simplicity of it all made you grateful for your decision to be a first-grade teacher, a job that didn’t usually keep your hands full.

The morning was lazy and full of kisses, slow and warm like the sunlight streaming through the curtains. Occasionally Red and Blue would lay in between you and Hamzah, trying their very best to earn some morning belly rubs. You mentally took a picture of your view— Hamzah and your two cats cuddled in between his biceps— before peeling away to get ready for the day. Hamzah groaned in protest, making you laugh as you slid off the bed and walked toward your vanity. 

You perched on the little stool, gathering your hair into sections to braid it. But staying focused wasn't easy. From the corner of the mirror, you could see Hamzah sprawled out on your bed, shirtless, his tan skin glowing from the rising sun. He was watching some game on TV, beer in hand, occasionally cheering or grumbling at a play. You caught yourself staring, a smile creeping onto your lips. He looked so boyish, so him, and maybe it was the fact that you were ovulating but you'd never wanted to jump his bones more than now.

"Hamzah, can you pass me my hair tie?" you called out, fingers working through one side of your hair. You knew he wasn't the best at finding things. You recalled last week when he called you because he thought he lost his phone. Still, you held out hope.

"Yeah, sure, babe," he replied, setting his beer down on the coffee table as his eyes darted back to the screen for one last glance at the game. 

It took longer than you expected. You'd braided most of your hair by the time you heard him walking back into the room. Glancing down at the delicately patterned, Brandy Melville boxer shorts you'd been lounging in, you thought about what you might wear for the day—though, with Hamzah looking the way he did, staying in seemed like the best option.

"Found it!" he announced, holding up the hair tie like a trophy. His grin was as silly as ever. "Sorry, kinda forgot what hair ties were for a sec." 

You laugh, thinking this is exactly why you fell in love with him. "Thanks, even if it did take you forever," you teased, your eyes meeting his in the mirror. 

He stood behind you now, his hands naturally finding their way to your shoulders. His thumbs began to knead the curve of your neck, and you felt yourself melting under his touch. His reflection in the mirror was all confidence and warmth. Sometimes his eyes were a pool you couldn't help but drown in.

"So... whose braids are these for? Who you tryna impress, missy?" He holds your head as he plants a kiss on the very top of it, gentle and sweet.

"Nobody," you replied with a shrug, trying to keep your blushing smile to a minimum, "Maybe you. Maybe not." 

The crimson of your cheeks only made him want to kiss you more. "Mm... is that so?," he murmured, his lips brushing against the crown of your head again. 

You finished tying off the braid, inspecting the finished product in the mirror. The braids were messy, loose in places, but you liked them that way. Hamzah seemed to, too. His gaze lingered on you, his pupils dark and wide. 

"You're so beautiful," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. His words sent a warmth spreading through your core, and before you could respond, he tugged you to your feet, his lips meeting yours. 

The kiss was sweet and unhurried, his hum of contentment vibrating against your lips. Tasting a tinge of cherry flavor, he pulled back just enough to murmur, "Fuckin' love that chapstick you use, angel." 

You smiled, leaning into him, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. "Yeah?" 

"Mm-hmm," he muttered, his hands cradling your face now. You couldn't help but notice how much bigger his hands were. You rubbed your thighs together at the thought of them pumping deep inside you. "Taste so sweet," he added, his voice low and full of lust. 

His thumbs brushed your cheekbones, his gaze holding yours with a quiet intensity. Slowly, his lips found yours again, deeper this time, with more hunger. His hands drifted, fingers tracing a line down your shoulders, brushing the thin fabric of your button up shirt. The fabric slipped down effortlessly, pooling at your waist, revealing nothing underneath.

"Jesus Christ," he murmured, breathless, against your lips, looking down at your chest. His voice soft and teasing, "M'so lucky. All this belongs to me."

You rolled your eyes and laughed, though it came out more like a breath, as his hands moved to the hem of your shorts, sliding them down in one smooth motion. His touch was firm and gentle in all the right places.

"Hamzah," you whispered like a prayer, your voice caught between a laugh and something softer, your hands resting on his chest.

"Hmm?" he responded, his eyes lifting to meet yours again.

"Tell me what you need, baby" he asked, your cheeks heating under his gaze.

You feel yourself melt, knees wanting to buckle. "Want you to fuck me,” you pleaded. Your panties were a pool by now— soaked from just a simple kiss. But that was Hamzah. You ached for him without even knowing. He pulled you closer, one hand firm on your waist and the other squeezing the curve of your ass.

"Mm-hm," He hums against your neck, sucking and kissing every spot from your jaw to your collarbone. "M'gonna fuck you so good" he added. A whimper falls out of you, earning a quiet moan from him. He was soon lifting you onto the bed, his touch firm yet impossibly gentle, like you were something he craved of devouring.

Confused, you sit up with your elbows holding you up, "Wanna taste you first, though," For a second you forget you're completely naked, until you watch as his eyes drag down your entire body, holding his gaze at your tits.

He's standing in front of you so you have to look up as you speak. "You sure? I can-" He asks.

His hard-on is apparent in front of you,  it's stiff and the tip is about to peek out from the top of his boxers. "M'sure," You reach out one hand to palm him, slowly, but firm. "I really want it," you're teasing, and you know that he'll punish you for it later, but the thought only makes the hunger more insatiable.

You watch as he throws his head back, lips quivering with need. "Want it so bad, Hamzah," you whine, eyes stuck on his reaction.

Low whimpers escape him with every touch and squeeze. "Can I?" His reddened tip is peeking out and you watch as it begins to dampen his boxers with precum.

"Yes, yes, God, yes" his begs are hurried as he looks down at you. Your eyes lock before you push down his boxers, his cock springing out. Behind him, he holds his hands together, keeping him from losing all control and just grabbing you by the braids as he fucks your mouth.

He shakes the thought, looking down at you as you slowly spit a drool of saliva from your mouth onto his dick. Your hand wraps itself around the base of his cock, pumping up and down. Still looking up to him, you focus on the tip, squeezing until it's swelled up and  leaking.

"Baby..." he grunts, lightly pushing your head forward with one hand.

You hum with curiosity, "Yeah?" The look in your big, brown eyes makes him want to cum on the spot.

"M-mouth, please baby.." He grunts out his request, lightly grabbing a handful of your hair in his fist. You spit on your hand this time before wrapping it back on his cock. You lower your head, kissing his tip with your wet lips before swallowing him whole. Every whine and whimper from him makes you hum with pleasure and the rubbing of your thighs has you craving release. Hamzah's hands have found a permanent home behind your head, pushing you further down his cock with each thrust.

"Mm-hm.... Fuck...." He whines as his eyes roll behind his head, the sight below him being overwhelming. He loves you exactly like this: fucked out and gagging for his cock.

"S'good, angel," he praises. Your mouth is warm and full of him, his tip often hitting the back of your throat. His movements have picked up the pace, using both hands to make you swallow his cock until you gag. It hurt so good and you thought maybe this is how you'd like to spend the rest of your life: making Hamzah cum with your mouth everyday.

He breathes out, "Fuck-" A quivering grunt follows, "M'cumming-" You hum in response, rubbing your clit at the thought. Your eyes hit the back your head as he thrusts into your throat one last time. You're brought back to life when he pulls out, strings of saliva sticking to your tongue and his tip. He grunts, pumping his cock until his cum spills on your tits. You still open your mouth to try to catch some on your tongue.

He reaches down to hold your face, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head. "Fuck, I love you," he sighs out. You close your eyes, too out of breath to say anything. You hum and then lick your lips, trying to taste him.

He kisses your forehead this time, "Good girl," His lips reach for yours as he lays you down on the bed, dragging his hand down your cheek to your neck. He kneels at the edge of the bed in front of you, eyes wandering your exposed body. You hold yourself up with your elbows to lock eyes with him and suddenly you realize he's looking at your dripping cunt.

"Please..." you began, your voice barely above a whisper, earning a low grunt from him, his hands slipping down to caress your thighs. Your core was aching at this point, pulsing for touch— his touch.

"Look at you," His hands spread your legs open, holding them in place.

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest as his hands slid up the bare skin of your legs, his touch as light as a whisper. His lips followed, pressing tender kisses along the inside of your thighs, each one sending a wave of warmth coursing through you. He paused to glance up at you, his eyes soft and full of adoration. 

"So beautiful," he murmured, the words so quiet they almost disappeared into the space between you. "So good for me," he added. His hands spread your thighs wider, his thumbs gently stroking your skin, and then he leaned in, dripping a pool of his saliva onto your clit.

The first touch of his tongue was slow and deliberate, coaxing low whimpers out of you. His movements were careful as if he were savoring every taste. You gasped, your fingers instinctively tangling in his curls, and he hummed against you, the sound low and content.

"Fuck," you breathed, your voice trembling with the intensity of the moment. He glanced up at you, his lips glistening. 

"Taste so good," he said softly, his voice like a balm. His tongue moved with unhurried precision, tracing gentle circles that sent sparks of ecstasy coursing through you. He was teasing, excruciatingly gentle. His hands reached to massage your breast, focusing specifically on your nipples— hard and perked up. Unwillingly, your back arched as every part of you felt on fire.

Your breaths grew shallow, your body arching toward him as he found a rhythm that made everything else fade away.

Your body perched up when he suddenly stopped.

Hamzah pulled back suddenly, his lips glistening, his breath heavy as it ghosted over your skin. The absence of his touch was agonizing, and you squirmed under him, the ache in your core sharpening with every passing second. His hands, still gripping your thighs, tightened possessively, his fingers pressing into your skin like he needed to anchor himself. 

"W-why?," you breathed, your voice trembling, unsure if it was from desperation or frustration. 

He tilted his head up, his dark eyes locking onto yours. They were molten, a smoldering mix of desire and something deeper. His gaze burned with an intensity that made your stomach flip. 

"Can't cum yet, baby," His voice was low, rough, and dripping with authority. He leaned forward suddenly, his body pressing into yours, forcing you to feel the weight of him. His hands slid up your thighs, gripping them firmly before pulling you closer, his strength undeniable yet controlled. 

"Look at you," he growled, his eyes raking over you for the millionth time. His hands roughly roamed your entire body— your hips then your thighs and your ass.

Your eyelids feel heavy, dazed with anticipation for some sort of release. Looking up at him felt like torture— his face and toned stomach followed by his already hard cock springing close to his stomach. Using one hand, he grabbed your wrists, interlocking your fingers with his, his grip firm but not painful. The other hand cupped your jaw, tilting your face up so you couldn't look anywhere but at him. His lips hovered over yours, so close, before locking them with yours.

"Wanna feel you," he pleaded, his voice a rasp against your skin. "Can I?"

You nodded, your body trembling beneath him, your heart pounding so hard it felt like it might burst. His grip on your jaw softened just slightly, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip as his eyes softened, just for a moment, before pushing his thumb past your lips.

You instinctively suction your lips around it, swirling your tongue against his thumb, eyes wide and locked with his.

You let go of it with a pop, coaxing a hum out of him. "You're gonna kill me, baby," he murmured, his voice low, almost vulnerable before the edge crept back in. "Gonna take it good, okay?"

"Yes," you whispered, barely recognizing your own voice. 

His lips crashed into yours then, the kiss rough and claiming, his teeth grazing your lip in a way that made you gasp. He took advantage of the sound, his tongue slipping into your mouth, tangling with yours. All the while, his knee was pressing down on your cunt, reveling in the sensation.

Hamzah's free hand roamed down your body, gripping your waist before sliding up to cup your breast. His touch was firm, possessive, his thumb brushing over your hardened nipple in a way that had your back arching against him. 

"Hamzah...." you whimper, breathless, his lips leaving yours to trail down your neck, his teeth scraping against the sensitive skin there. You whimpered, your body betraying you as you arched again, desperate for more. 

His breath falters and he thinks that saying his name like that was probably going to be the death of him. His lips grazed your collarbone before he kissed it gently.

You shut your eyes, feeling like yourself throb against him. His hand released yours, but only so he could grab your hips, pulling you flush against him. 

"Fuck me, please," you choked out, your voice trembling, tears pricking at your eyes—not from pain but from the sheer intensity of him. 

He grunted, his lips capturing yours again, rough but full of a love so fierce it stole your breath. It was overwhelmingly all-consuming and sweet.

Hamzah's lips pressed against yours, stealing your breath with a kiss that was deep and consuming, a delicate balance of control and reverence. His hands slid down your body, rough and demanding, gripping your waist firmly before moving to your hips. His touch left a trail of fire in its wake, a stark contrast to the tenderness in his gaze. 

"You're so perfect for me," he murmured against your lips, his voice husky with need. His hands moved lower, squeezing your ass with deliberate roughness, making you gasp and arch into him. "Every inch of you."

He didn't wait for a response, tilting your head back to kiss down the column of your neck, his teeth grazing your skin before he sucked gently at the sensitive spot just beneath your jaw. One hand slid up to your breast, palming it firmly, his thumb brushing over your hardened nipple in a way that made your breath hitch. 

"You take everything so well," he said, his voice low and rough in your ear as his hand kneaded your breast. "So good for me." 

You whimpered, your hands tangling in his hair as his lips continued their descent, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down your chest. When he took one of your nipples into his mouth, you cried out, your body arching into him as his hand moved to squeeze your other breast. 

"Hamzah—" His name came out as a broken plea, and he chuckled darkly, his teeth grazing your sensitive skin before pulling away. 

"I've got you," he promised, his hands sliding back down to grip your thighs, pulling you closer to him with a force that made you feel the raw strength in his body. "You don't have to do anything but feel me." 

He spread your legs wider, his rough palms gliding over your thighs before delivering a sharp smack to the soft flesh, just enough to make you gasp. “That’s it,” he said, his voice dripping with approval as his hands soothed the sting. “So responsive for me.”

He pressed into you with slow, deliberate movements, watching every flicker of emotion on your face. His hands roamed over your body, squeezing and kneading, his touch leaving no part of you untouched.

"Feel so fuckin’ warm," he growled, his voice low and possessive. "So beautiful. So perfect." He punctuated his words with a sharp thrust that made you cry out, his hands tightening on your hips to hold you in place.

You nodded, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, overwhelmed by the intensity as he stretched you out. You quietly cursed every time he hit that spot deep inside you. He leaned down to kiss them away, his lips brushing against your cheeks. "Doing so well, angel," he said, his voice softening for a moment. "Taking me so perfectly." 

His hands gripped your ass again, pulling you closer as he moved faster, his head rolled back. You tried to keep your eyes open, watching him as he used one hand to rub your cunt. You cried out, back arching, as you held onto his wrists for stability. already being on the edge, you felt like cumming any moment now.

"Hamzah— gonna cum-" you pleaded, trying to hold on for a little longer. He felt you tighten around him, slipping in and out of you quicker with every second.

"Cum for me, angel," He begged, groaning. You feel yourself spilling over the edge, his name tearing from your lips, your body trembling beneath him as he held you through it, his voice low and soothing. He followed short after, shooting spurts of come in you.

"Good girl," he murmured, his lips pressing against your forehead as he followed, his body shuddering as he buried his face in your neck. "So, so good for me." 

Hamzah didn't pull away immediately. His body stayed pressed close to yours, his breathing ragged but already evening out. His hand, which had gripped you so firmly moments ago, softened, his thumb brushing lazily over your hip in soothing circles. He pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth before letting his forehead rest against yours, his warm breath fanning across your skin. 

Neither of you spoke for a while. The silence wasn't awkward but comforting, filled with the quiet intimacy that only comes with knowing someone completely. His hand slid up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing over your flushed skin. 

"You okay?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper. 

You nodded, your lips curving into a small, tired smile. "Mhm," you murmured, your voice still breathless. "Just sleepy."

A small smirk tugged at his lips, and he kissed your forehead before reluctantly rolling off you. He reached down, grabbing the blanket that had been shoved to the side, and draped it over both of you. His arm snaked around your waist, pulling you back against his chest. 

Hamzah buried his face in your hair, inhaling deeply. "You smell like me," he murmured, his voice low and full of satisfaction. 

You chuckled softly, turning your head slightly to glance at him. Sometimes he said things that made you want to marry him. "Good," you smile. "I like smelling like you."

There was a beat of silence. "I love you.” he said simply, his hand slipping under the blanket to rest on your stomach. 

The room was quiet except for the sound of your breathing mingling with his, and you were just beginning to drift off when you felt a light pressure at the foot of the bed. 

You opened your eyes just in time to see one of Hamzah's cats—Red—jump up onto the bed. She made a beeline for you, circling a few times before curling up at your feet. 

Hamzah chuckled softly, his chest vibrating against your back. "Here comes trouble," he teased, his voice warm and affectionate. 

As if on cue, his other cat, Blue, hopped up onto the bed as well. Unlike Red, Blue didn't hesitate to make himself comfortable right on Hamzah's chest, his purring loud and insistent. 

"Seriously, Blue?" Hamzah groaned, though he didn't sound annoyed. He scratched behind the cat's ears, earning an even louder purr. "You couldn't wait, huh?" 

You laughed softly, reaching down to stroke Red's silky fur. "I think they were feeling left out." 

Hamzah sighed dramatically, though the small smile on his lips gave him away. "Guess I have no choice but to share you now," he said, his voice teasing. 

Blue, clearly content, flopped onto his side, his tail flicking against Hamzah's arm. Red stretched out, her paws pressing lightly against your legs as she settled into her spot. 

Hamzah's hand found yours under the blanket, his fingers intertwining with yours as he rested his chin on your shoulder. "Y'know...," he said softly, his tone carrying a hint of suspicious humor.

"What?," you replied, leaning back into him as Red purred softly at your feet. You tried to contain your smile— knowing that when he talked with this tone he was either about to say the most out of pocket shit or tell you something really sweet.

Hamzah kissed your shoulder, his lips lingering for a moment before he rested his head against yours. "It's barely 1 p.m...," he murmured, his voice full of quiet affection. "Wanna go again, angel?"

—————————————————————————

a/n: thank you for reading! im so sorry for the wait i kinda ended up hating everything i wrote like halfway through aaaanddd i did not proofread this bc reading my own writing makes me cringe so i apologize for any grammar mistakes lol. HOPE U LOVE IT or u might hate it idk❤️

let me know what you think or any ideas for the future! im thinking some yellowjackets smut idkidk😏

[ali3nboyfriend]

the edge of sleep show had a bit of jank but i honestly really enjoyed it for that, it felt surreal and Weird in a similar way to how i view the janky voice acting in the original Silent Hill 2 where it really added to it. i'm not even a markiplier fan or anything but i had a lot of fun w it

[lowkeyren]

BUT YOU BELONG TO ME!

in which — some jealousy headcanons / scenarios for our favourite luofu men!

featuring — dan heng, blade, jing yuan (separately) x gn!reader

wc: total 1.8k, from req: here!, they're so silly goodbye, march + fu xuan cameo ;) reblogs w comments are appreciated, please enjoy!!!

#DAN HENG

look me in the eyes and tell me dan heng wouldn’t be the “i'm jealous, but i don’t wanna show it” (but it’s so PAINFULLY obvious that he’s jealous) type, you can’t.

definitely amusing to watch him play it cool, cus he has nothing else going on in his brain when you’re within 10 metre radius from him. 

honestly it would have to be quite specific situations if he ever gets jealous because he likes to keep you close by his side as often as possible. dating or not, he would have some sort of protective instinct —always making sure you’re secure and cared for. (and yes of course march teases him for it, he never admits it though.)

dan heng tries to focus on the book in his hands, but his mind refuses to make any sense of the words on the page —at least not when you’re standing so close to boothill. (too close for his liking anyway)

the cyborg sits at the opposite end of the couch where dan heng was, while you deftly adjust a compartment of his, engaging in small talk as he makes lighthearted jokes with you. dan heng hears your laughter ring out; the laughter that he adores so dearly, the laughter that never fails to warm his chest, and the laughter he wishes he was the reason for instead.

his eyes flicker up from the page to sneak a glance at you, the way your hands glide over boothill's body churns an ugly feeling, twisting in his chest. he shifts in his seat, trying to find a more comfortable position, but the unease remains.

his focus on you is suddenly shattered by a loud voice that belongs to no other than march, "dan heng, if you grip that book any harder, you might tear off a page." she stands in front of him, hands on her waist. 

“the way i am holding my book is perfectly fine, now if you will, i must get back to re—”

“oh c’mon! we all know your ass is not actually reading that book!” he raises an eyebrow, and march only rolls her eyes in response. “it’s literally upside-down.” she teases, unable to hold back a chuckle. 

dan heng glances down at the book in his hands, finally noticing the upside-down text, to which he quickly closes the book and puts it down. "maybe i was just testing your observational skills.”

march shakes her head, "yeah right… just admit you’re too busy staring at them!”

“no i’m n—” he begins to protest but is interrupted when you suddenly appear in front of him. “staring at who?” you tilt your head curiously, and he can only hope that you don’t hear the loud thumping of his heart. 

march giggles as she runs off to who-knows-where, he silently curses her for leaving him in this predicament. he manages to regain his composure, though his cheeks retain a faint pink hue. “ahem, anyway…” he trails off when you sit down next to him, your thighs brushing against each other.

alright you can’t keep doing this to him. he’s not a cyborg but it certainly seems like he’s malfunctioning at that moment. (though he doesn't mind if you have to “repair” him next; he considers it far preferable to having your hands on boothill anyway.)

#BLADE

this guy REEKS of jealousy. 

he gets jealous over anything —saying “good night!” to an acquaintance? well unfortunately, i don’t think they’re going to be having a very good night; a friendly smile from a passerby? the sudden chill in the air accompanied by his sharp glare is enough to make them rethink their life decisions. 

and the worst part? he knows it. he's aware of how irrational his jealousy can be, but that doesn't stop the surge of possessiveness that washes over him.

(deep down, he just wants to feel secure in your attention and affection, but it’s true that his jealousy sometimes gets the better of him.) 

blade’s “things to get rid of” list exponentially grows with each passing day, ranging from general items he sees no use of, to addresses of people who have wronged you in the past. 

but there’s one item on the list that stands out from the rest, the one item he can’t seem to bring himself to get rid of, no matter how hard he tries.

37. “blade plushie”

okay but what kind of website is “stellaron hunters fan merch for sell.com” anyway? since when do they have a fanbase, and why did you have to buy a plushie of him, of all things? 

he shoots daggers at the plushie sitting on your bed, on his side of your bed. while he can't always be by your side, surely there's no need for an inferior replacement?

blade sits down beside you, discreetly moving the plushie out of the way. just as you turn to reach for it, he wraps his arm around you and snuggles up to your side; you immediately pause at his affectionate gesture; his hair brushes against your neck as he buries his face into it.

“blade.. what are you doing?” you turn your attention to him, much to his delight. 

“why not spend more time with the real deal instead of… that.” he tightens his grip around you, at this point he isn’t even trying to hide his jealousy (over a plushie lmao) anymore. 

"you mean mr. edgelord...?" you barely manage to stifle your laughter as blade shoots up beside you. doesn’t hurt to tease him for a bit, right?

“what did you say… “edgelord”?” he scoffs, his face twisting into a scowl. he can’t believe you gave that thing a nickname, how ridiculous. he makes a mental note to get rid of it asap. 

“yeah, what about it? jealous that he’s better than you?” you smirk, leaning in close to his face. perhaps you’re enjoying his expression of pure bitterness a little too much, who knew such a handsome face could look so hilariously indignant? 

his eyes twinkle in amusement, before closing in the distance. “hah, never.” his tone tinged with a touch of possessiveness that he can't quite hide.

“really? you seem like you’re about to kill it.” you wrap your arms around his neck, his expression softens for just a split second, but you’re able to catch it anyway. “would you please spare mr. edgelord if i give you a kiss?”

he doesn’t respond with words; he presses his lips against yours, gently cradling the back of your head. (you quickly turn mr. edgelord to face the wall before blade pulls you away)

maybe he’ll spare “it” for another day or so, just don’t let him catch you hugging “it” in your sleep again, alas you want “it” to suffer the same fate as the others on his list.

#JING YUAN

hmm our beloved general… well he trusts you, and believes that you won’t do anything rash; but on the other hand there are just some things that neither of you can control, whether it’s letters sent in to ask for his hand in marriage or admires trying to sweep you off your feet (before he can). 

though not many people would approach you once your relationship goes public, given that he’s the general and all. but imagine him before the two of you became official, clinging to you to fend off your admirers, and the expression on their faces when you shake your head, denying that you’re dating at all. 

“as for the situation at cloudford— general, are you even listening?” fu xuan furrows her brows, and crosses her arms, clearly annoyed. “ah my apologies lady fu, please keep going.” jing yuan only flashes a half-hearted smile at her before glancing over to your direction again.

you feel a pair of eyes boring into your back, undoubtedly jing yuan’s; but you pay it no mind, choosing to focus on the discussion at hand. his grip on his teacup tightens when he sees the foxian talking to you leans closer to catch your words. fu xuan raises an eyebrow in concern, unaware but still sensing the rising tension; his eyes visibly twitch the moment their hand brushes against yours.

“lady fu, let’s reschedule our meeting for another time. i believe i have some… important matters to attend to.” jing yuan rises up from his seat before fu xuan can reply, swiftly making his way towards you.

you’re startled by the sudden feeling of jing yuan’s arms around you, his chest pressing against your back, as he places his chin against your head. “sorry to interrupt, what’re you two discussing about?” the foxian is taken aback by the general's sudden appearance, and especially by your current position with him. 

“n-nothing general!” the foxian seems to hesitate before continuing, “if it isn’t rude to ask, are the two of you…in a relationship?” jing yuan’s face lights up with his usual lazy smile, but this time it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

your eyes widen in surprise as he presses his lips against your nape, you shiver at his touch, a rush of warmth spreads across your cheeks. you should deny it, to say that you're not in a relationship at all, but you can't bring yourself to. instead, you divert your gaze from the foxian, hoping to spare yourself any further embarrassment.

“go on, tell them.” he whispers lowly so that only you can hear him. this bastard, you’re going to give him a stern talking to after this..! “sorry to cut this short, please excuse us.” you give a polite nod before pulling the general away.

two days later, as you’re walking along the streets of central starskiff haven, you come across a group of people gathered around a stall. curious, you head over to check out what’s happening. —you’re absolutely mortified to discover stacks of articles detailing recent events of you and jing yuan.

“breaking news! the general is secretly married?!” / “the truth behind general jing yuan’s relationship status” / “rumours confirmed: a detailed guide to the general of luofu’s relationship saga”

well at least the pictures of you and jing yuan got your good side… and your bad side, and your “i definitely did not sign up for this” side. and oh look, there’s one of you dragging jing yuan by his ponytail too, how wonderful, you’re definitely purchasing that one. 

but yeah no, you’re not beating the allegations after this. 

masterlist

[bobbin-buckley]

Hi! Could you write some jealous gp!caitlyn headcanons? <3

G!P Caitlyn Kirammin Headcanons

G!P Caitlyn Kirammin x Fem!Reader

Warnings: G!p Caitlyn, basically just headcanons and smut but fluff too, jealous Caitlyn, all mentioned! breeding kink, public sex, praising, orgasm denial

Caitlyn

You

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-To start off with, I’d say she’s packing a lot. She’s big. I would say at least seven inches

-For awhile Caitlyn never told you that she was ‘different’, than other girls for awhile even when dating. She didn’t want to scare you off or anything, honestly she was a bit insecure about her size. To you was it too big or too small?

-Now after having sex with her for the first time, you felt like you were on top of the clouds. With how big she was she could reach pretty deep in you

-When Caitlyn heard about your past dating experiences, she was pretty jealous that other people have dated you before her. So every time you guys have sex she’s all about making you hers, pounding deeper without thought

-Her hands grip your hips possessively when she makes deep thrusts, she wants to claim you.

-There have been times where she’s admit about wanting to breed you, which really turned you on

“Cmon baby, take it.”

“You can take this big cock right? Fuck you’re so pretty under me..”

“Maybe I outta’ stuff you with my cum, breed this pretty pussy.”

-When you both went to a party together for the first time, you were wearing a pretty revealing outfit that made her rethink the decision of bringing you to that party. She knew damn well other people’s eyes would be on you

-She was right. Lots of men and women were eying you, all dreaming to fuck you but Caitlyn would never even let them talk to you. She was surprisingly possessive, but you found it hot

-After a couple of hours at the party she couldn’t handle it anymore, it surprised you she waited that long.

-Throughout the party you had teased her, talked to other men and women. That bulge growing in her pants whenever you did something that turned her on. She hates it when you put on a show for others

-One time you nearly did a strip tease to someone else because you were drunk af, she dragged you away to a bathroom and fucked you out of jealousy. You’ll never forget that night

-Now after a night of you teasing her, making her jealous and desperate she’ll either fuck you until you can’t take it anymore, crying for her to stop. (Obviously she’ll stop once you give her the red light that it’s too much). Or she’ll deny every orgasm and have you make her cum instead

“Such a slut teasing me in front of everyone, you think you can just show off to everyone?”

“Mmhh…make me cum baby, and maybe…maybe I’ll let you cum too.”

-During a family meeting, you were talking with her mother for most of the time. It was very typical of Cassandra to be questioning you and talking with you the entire family party.

-She was jealous of how your attention wasn’t on her, thankfully she was wearing a dress so her hardening cock wasn’t visible. That’s how jealous and desperate she was

-Now you weren’t always the one being punished, she would get punished by you from being so impatient

-The first time that happened, you’ve never seen Caitlyn so…submissive. She may come off as a silly but concentrating woman when it comes to being an Enforcer but damn she’s honestly so hot as a bottom when she is

-Teasing her swollen tip as you tell her how bad she’s been, how she should be more patient next time.

-Your lips tease her tip too, licking it and chuckling when she whimpers for more

-Sometimes if you’re nice enough you’ll ride her but it becomes slowly and painful as you deny her orgasms when she’s close.

“See who’s the desperate slut now? How does it feel being denied?”

“Nuh uh, didn’t say you could cum just yet.”

“D-darling please…I-I’m sorry,”

“F-fuck…wanna cum so bad..”

“Not yet, cupcake.”

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[scaredycatqlt]

HII idk if your requests are still open but PLEASE can you do bojack/ mr peanutbutter dating head canons or any of your choice, the fandom needs more fanfics 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

awwWWW YEAH BABYYY. You already KNOW it’s gonna be toxic.

WARNING: Potentially triggering content. Nothing graphic, but talk of toxic/unhealthy relationships, questionable shit, BoJack being BoJack. SUPER MEGA FUCKING ANGST WARNING!!!

BoJack X Reader! Headcanons [ROMANTIC💔]

woah boy.

where do I even start with this guy?

okay, so, first things first; bad idea. What the absolute fuck were you thinking.

You probably have a fix-it mentality don’t you?

You’re probably the first person to talk to him. He either doesn’t care about you at first, or absolutely despises you.

chances are you are/were a fan of the show. (Eughhh,,,,)

If you weren’t he’s like ‘>:0’

It’s not really explicitly labeled as a romantic relationship. You guys probably hooked up before you even knew each other.

So being in this (more so situation-ship than anything) is toxic, to say the least.

He’s got a whole bunch of problems and he doesn’t want to ruin you to. But he ends up doing just that anyways.

He guilt trips you. I don’t even need to say that.

He rants to you about silly things that don’t even matter. It’s kind of endearing (if he weren’t a total piece of shit.)

He’s actually really good at making conversation. You two always have something to talk about.

He can’t believe someone as ‘not-him’ as you would ever waste your time with him. He explicitly tells you this at one point.

The red flags are BLARING GIRL.

In your defense, you really didn’t know how awful he was. You just thought he was a deeply flawed man. And he is, but he’s also just an ass.

*a horse

The relationship doesn’t last. It never does with him. Either you decide to cut it off because it’s too toxic, or he cuts it off. Probably in some drunken stupor.

typical BoJack.

Mr. Peanut butter X Reader! [ROMANTIC]

I’d like to start off by saying it would be much less toxic than a relationship with BoJack.

But still problematic…

Mr. Peanut butter and you knew eachother before you were dating, probably friends for a little while.

You two end up dating and the beginning of the relationship is idealistic and perfect!

But problems quickly arise.

like for example, Mr. Peanut butter is kind and friendly but he isn’t exactly considerate or caring. He may care about you, but he ignores your needs sometimes. More often by accident.

For example, if you don’t like people-you’re still not getting left out of parties. Mr PB is more sympathetic and much less empathetic.

His love language is gift giving and words of affirmation. I think this is made very clear throughout the show.

PREPARE TO BE FUCKING SPOILED WITH GIFTS!!!

Whether you like it or not….

He’s very open with people about your two’s relationship and how he feels about you. He’s quick to praise you.

aside from some of the inconsiderate mess he is literally a golden retriever boyfriend <3

he is VERY quick to ask you to marry him. But I feel like if you told him you’d think about it or ‘no’ he’d understand. It’s a big decision HE might be ready for, but you’re not.

Scratch his ears.

I feel like you’d date him at a point in time where Diane isn’t a problem anymore. He learned after the first time…,,,

Sometimes he puts his needs infront of yours-without realizing it.

If you want to have a serious conversation-you’re going to have to initiate it. He HATES those, and prefers to pretend like it never happened.

I feel like there’s honestly a chance of a long term relationship with him! Or you two break up like, maybe a year or so into the relationship.

sorry I haven’t responded to requests in, like, over a month. I’ve been kinda busyyyyfhhjjjgjg 😭

[fun-k-board]

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

How would some of my favourite characters be if their S/O loves Halloween?

Media Included : Mortal Kombat 11, Insomniacs Spider-Man, Young Justice.

Characters Included : Mileena, Kitana, Peter Parker, Miles Morales, Artemis, Superboy.

Note (s) : I originally had a poll and all of MK11 won but honestly I would've gotten no enjoyment out of writing it, so, have this instead.

Be warned I haven't watched young justice in like a year.

Mileena

Mileena doesn't know what Halloween is, there isn't much of an equivalent in Outworld that would make sense for her to participate in, however, she's definitely interested after learning about it from you. Especially after seeing how excited you are.

After realising she can carve whatever she wants in the pumpkin, she gets very excited. Mileena would most likely carve a 'scary' face, similar to a Tarkatans with the large teeth, but, she isn't the most skilled artist... It ends up looking a bit wonky and more funny than scary.

If she's in a bad mood, she'd probably try to carve Kitana dying, and it would end up more like a blob than anything coherent.

She likes the decorations, and might help put a few up, but prefers them not to be in her way, she will absolutely destroy any fake cobwebs or skeletons in her path.

If you want to stay at home and put on the likes of 'Hocus Pocus' 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' or even horror movies like 'Halloween', she's interested in them all. She especially finds the portrayals of sorcerers to be hilarious and wants to show Shang Tsung how incompetent humans think they are.

Mileena finds horror movies fascinating but sometimes she's very critical of the gore and how unrealistic it is, one time she stormed out of the house because of how horrible a CGI blood splatter was.

She probably won't bother matching costumes or even going in a costume herself, she's just not interested enough for whatever cheap gimmicks Earthrealm's cooked up.

I actually think she'd just go in her regular clothes but without a mask, it's uncomfortable to be seen as scary, but, she doesn't want to wear a ridiculous costume or spend hours walking around in a mask.

Mileena is most excited for the trick or treating itself, the fact you can just go up to people's houses and ask for sweets and people will just give it?? She's so shocked, nothing like that would ever happen in Outworld.

She won't be too smiley until she gets home though, whenever the door opens she's sweating nervously, Mileena almost wishes she brought her mask to hide her face.

She always manages to stay up until everybody else goes home or falls asleep, and carries, she insists you're not walking even if you're not tired at all, you back home, where she finds the pumpkins destroyed and your house covered in toilet paper.

She vows to kill the person who ruined your pumpkins, and probably ends up springing a Halloween massacre for your area.

Kitana

She's definitely heard of Halloween from Johnny or Sonya, but she's never really been able to dress up or be too involved. Kitana has responsibilities in Outworld, and she can't risk them for a holiday, regardless of her desire to participate.

Once she sees how excited you are, however, she decides to make up an excuse to go to Earthrealm, it's only for a few hours, and she's a bit antsy over the decision, but she's doing it for you nonetheless.

Kitana helps you put up the decorations, laughing at how silly some of them look, and she takes great joy in spending some time with you that she usually can't.

Her pumpkin carving skills aren't too bad, she's not some master artist with them, but she can make a mean scary face.

I don't think she'd want to dress up, but she's definitely alright if you want to, she'll share her opinion on your costume and maybe suggest a different one if she thinks it'd fit you better.

She really enjoys things like The Nightmare Before Christmas, wholesome yet with a bit of scary elements thrown in. She especially likes Hocus Pocus when it comes to the family part of it, it's no secret how messed up hers is.

Kitana's amused at how magic is portrayed in both Halloween movies and by certain costumes, she nearly loses it after seeing an old man mask under the 'wizard' title.

Kitana personally doesn't enjoy the gore heavy and over the top violence of horror movies, although, she will admit she enjoys the fight choreography of some of them. She prefers psychological horrors.

Kitana is rather nervous about trick or treating, she loves the idea of the fun and sweet part, but the idea that the stranger could've poisoned the sweets makes her nervous, even if you assure her that the signs are obvious and if there are none it should be safe to consume.

She inspects the sweets around five times before even considering you take a bite.

She looks like some type of bodyguard, following behind you with swift and graceful steps, she lets herself have fun of course, but her guard is always up.

When you both get home, she's very happy to rest with you and sleep, but if duty calls she might have to cut the night short and return to Outworld.

Peter Parker

Peter skips out on a holiday or two sometimes, his identity as Spider-Man is far too important, and Halloween is the one that usually gets skipped. Aunt May never really celebrated it, she usually just left out a bowl of sweets. MJ isn't an avid Halloween person, neither is Harry after he grew up. So, it was a huge surprise at how invested in Halloween you are.

Peter isn't that good of a pumpkin carver, so he typically does the regular 'spooky face' with wobbly lines, it's his favourite and was his go to ever since he was a kid.

He finds matching costumes cute and especially loves dressing up in his old Spider-Man costume and making one especially for you, of course, neither of you include the web shooters and he makes sure to use an old enough suit where there's no tech in it.

Peter's great at hanging up decorations, he has specialised web fluid that can last for a few days or even a week, so, he uses that to his advantage and usually does that along with crawling on the ceiling.

He loved trick or treating as a kid, it was the one time of the year he could dress up and not be a nerd, he and Harry had so much fun together. It's really nostalgic, and sometimes people will point out your costumes, finding it funny that grown adults are going as the city's hero.

He adores trick or treating, it makes him feel like a kid again. Although, unfortunately a lot of crime tends to happen on Halloween, so, sometimes he does have to slip away quickly to punch a few bad guys.

He might check once or twice to see if there's anything wrong with the candy, but besides that he sometimes forgets how deadly some of them can be. He does feel his heart race a bit when you take a bite, only to reveal nothing is wrong, he lets out a huge sigh of relief.

Peter's nervous watching psychological thrillers and ones that use the whole 'creepy kid aesthetic' to its full potential. He's fine with gorey slasher flicks, and even enjoys some of them for the horrible acting and bad effects.

He prefers more kid friendly stuff, like The Nightmare Before Christmas, but he nearly cried watching Coraline for the first time.

Miles Morales

Miles has been a huge Halloween enjoyer since he was a kid, he used to spend hours trying to handmake a costume with his parents help, he misses those days. He's never missed Halloween, or any holiday, but miles has been close a few times.

After he started dating you he realised just how much fun it can be and that he shouldn't sacrifice time with his loved ones, especially not on a day you both love.

Miles, while not exactly having an over abundance of money to do so, will a hundred percent try to hand make costumes for the both of you, with your help of course. Maybe it's something small like Morticia Addams and Gomez Addams, or maybe it's a huge mecha costume, whichever it is, he has fun making and designing the costumes.

He's a master pumpkin carver, give him any image and he can accurately create it in pumpkin form, regardless of whether you're also like that or have trash pumpkin carving skills, he's putting yours together proudly and pointing it out to anybody who sees them.

Miles loves trick or treating, you and him walk around New York apartments for hours and hours getting all of the sweets you can, he even web swings sometimes to try and get as much as possible before Halloween ends.

I don't think he'd think to look for any poison or razor blades in the sweets you two are given, he's heard some stories for sure, but it's never happened anywhere close to him, so he assumes you're both safe.

Like Peter, he can help put up decorations by climbing on walls and ceilings, plus his webs, and so he's a huge help, although he's personally not a fan of any snake based decorations. They creep him out.

While he can handle more scary horror movies, he still reaches for and squeezes your hand whenever a kill scene happens, although, for older ones or newer ones that are bad looking, he prefers to analyse the artistic side of things. Special effects and practical effects are so interesting to him. Not only that, he could spend hours talking about the music and themes of each character or event.

He loves any stop motion, Nightmare Before Christmas, Coraline, and Corpse Bride to name a few. Not only are they just beautiful, but any bad storylines or things that haven't aged well don't really matter when he's staring at something so pretty.

Artemis

Artemis never had the chance to celebrate Halloween as a kid, she wishes she did because it always sounded so fun, the most she managed to get was her mother putting out sweets for kids in costumes to nab. Some part of her wishes that she was one of them at some point.

When she begins dating you, your interest in Halloween is one she can greatly relate to, perhaps for different reasons, but, it's something shared nonetheless.

Artemis likes the idea of dressing in costumes, it's a quarter of her job so she's used to it by now, but she can admit she feels too childish when she wears a vampire or any other Halloween-esque costume. She thinks you look cute in them, though.

She's used to helping her mother around the house, so when you ask for help putting up decorations she's alright with that, whether or not you can't reach because you're short, you can't do it all on your own, or if you just want to get it done quicker, she'll help you.

Artemis is a decent pumpkin carver, she can make a few impressive faces, but unless she spends hours and hours, she can't do a full body or anything other than a spooky face without it being a little wonky.

She genuinely does enjoy going trick or treating, she can come across a little blank and emotionless when walking around, but she really does feel happy and safe with you. Even if you two are walking alone at night knocking on strangers doors for candy.

She definitely checks every piece for any poison or razor blades, she's not taking any chances with you.

Artemis loves more childish movies, don't tell anybody in the tower though! She especially loves ones like Coraline, she feels really seen and can even relate to her a tiny bit.

She's not a big horror fan, especially not ones that try to make the unsympathetic sympathetic, it's just boring watches to her usually. Gore ones are easier to get through, it's just mindless slashing and bad acting, sometimes they're so bad that it becomes funny though, she enjoys those ones. Artemis isn't the biggest fan of psychological thrillers either, not because they're more scary to her, they're just more uncomfortable.

Superboy

Superboy has most likely heard of Halloween, but never had the chance to participate because... Well, you know. He isn't very interested in it, the costume part, the sweets part, it's not exactly his thing, regardless of if he's tried it before or not.

He's surprised at just how excited you are about Halloween, it's not like he despises the holiday, it just feels so alien to him. Despite that, Conner will help put up decorations in hard to reach places, or if something is heavy, he might grumble about it, but he truthfully doesn't mind.

Well, as said before, he isn't too interested in the costumes. A lot of them are just too silly for him, but maybe with some convincing he could do a matching couples one. He likes when you dress up, though, he thinks you look cute and even funny in some of them.

Conner isn't great at pumpkin carving, he gets frustrated easily and might smash the poor thing, despite that, he may either act like it was on purpose or just hide it from you.

He doesn't enjoy trick or treating, because of his unwillingness to dress up, he's either a guy in a superman shirt who looks like he's about to commit a felony, or a huge, quiet guy in a goofy costume whose fist is always angrily clenched.

He can tell if any sweets are bad, his vision makes it easy, and he will absolutely smack the sweet out of that person's hand and begin yelling at them.

Conner is alright with horror movies, he's not scared by them because he knows they're not real. But, that doesn't mean he likes what he's watching. Most of them are boring or just plain stupid to him. He thinks more kid friendly ones are to his style, they're not overly edgy, funny coming from him, while also not being boring because most kid media is designed to keep a kids attention.

[cryptid-intraining]

Thoughts about the Mexican GP and the season so far.

Very happy at yet another Ferrari win, would have loved the 1-2 but I'll get into that. Any points taken off Lando is great in my books and it's starting to look like McLaren is now at risk of losing the WCC as well if Ferrari keeps this up.

As a Max fan, he absolutely deserved those penalties but I think anyone complaining about how unfair it is, is being silly. He did the move, got the penalties. That's fair. Fucking around and finding out is a gamble all drivers make at some point, sometimes getting those penalties is a price they're willing to pay.

My biggest issue with the narrative and criticism Max has been getting about those two incidents is that it was sloppy driving. I think Martin Brundle called his second move a "red mist" moment and I think in light of what Max has said about the incidents, that is just untrue. I think it's fairly clear to see it was a calculated decision that Max made as soon as he realized that the RB20 did not have the power to hold the McLaren behind. In his own words, without the penalties he may have ended up ahead of the Mercs but Lando probably would have won the race.

He dropped a possible 13 point loss to 10. That's a championship move, that's how you win the WDC. Race wins and podiums don't matter to Max at this point clearly (yes he would prefer to be winning, obviously) his goal going into every weekend is just about finishing higher than Lando or as close to him as possible. That car does not have the tools for him to go offensive and outscore Lando every race so of course he will do anything in his power to ruin Lando's races and slow him down and get in his way. It's strategy.

And dragging that car back from 20s of penalties to P6 was a feat in and of itself, especially if you look at the races that Perez and Piastri had. Especially Piastri, considering he had the whole race and superior machinery and ended up in P8, behind Max and KMag. Really not a good weekend from him overall.

Onto the Ferrari's. I honestly don't know what to say, Carlos was incredibly strong all weekend, well deserved win. But once again it feels like Ferrari sometimes really struggles in managing to bring home a 1-2. They're often too afraid of their drivers fighting out front which is fair but asking your other driver to lift and coast every five minutes or so was a ridiculous call that cost them the 1-2. You cannot LICO on hard tyres for the majority of a race and keep temperature in them, which makes you lose grip and nearly crash as we saw. Charles was very lucky and very quick to catch that snap before it put him in the wall.

Not taking away from Carlos' performance because he was just the quicker driver that weekend but once again when he comes under pressure from Charles he tries to get Ferrari to pull team orders. It's something he has done time and time again and it gets a bit frustrating to see. If team orders had not been established prior to the race, he had no grounds to come on the radio and comment on Charles closing the gap in the first stint. If I heard that radio message without context I would have thought Charles had dive bombed him or something, it was ridiculous.

Now, I know Carlos was asked to lift and coast too but I think in context to Carlos' radio message and the weird atmosphere between them after the race (could be reading into) I don't think Charles was particularly happy with the strategy.

And finally McLaren. I think we are so wrapped up in the hype of having such a competitive season that we're not seeing what this year is going to end up being for McLaren and that is: disastrous. They've been so shockingly indecisive this whole season and I think if Ferrari keeps this performance in the last leg of the season it is going to cost them the WCC as well because they've just been acting like they've got it in the bag and I think that's the key difference in attitude between McLaren and Red Bull, to some degree Ferrari too. Max himself has said it, even if he's 50+ points ahead he's not going to let Lando pass him easily because that's not how you win. Dropping your guard and thinking you're safe is how you lose, coasting to a win is how you lose, if that was how Max Verstappen raced he wouldn't be a three time world champion and he certainly wouldn't still be 47 points ahead.

But it feels almost like McLaren are just assuming that the WCC is safe because they have good drivers and the fastest car but I think there is a possibility they're going to walk away with nothing and it's going to be very embarrassing for them because everyone expected immediate performance from their drivers once given a championship car, that's what everyone has been saying about both Lando and Oscar for the past few years, that they're championship material and they just need the car.

I don't disagree, I think they both will get a WDC eventually but it's put them both on these pedestals of performance that they've just been unable to live up to yet. Lando has not been consistent, he has shown he has a long way to go in terms of wheel to wheel battling and needs to improve his ability to make calls and strategy decisions on the track and Oscar has to be more competitive in qualifying if he wants to pose a threat to Lando.

And the team needs to pull it together if they want to win. Stop asking your drivers so much, don't let them call all the shots on strategy because it doesn't work. Sometimes when I hear their radio messages I actually start to lose my mind because why are they having full conversations? It's too much information for too little. Drivers should never be that involved in the strategy, it's distracting for them and shows everyone else how little faith the strategists seem to have in themselves. It feels like they're improvising as they go.

All in all, I think this season is going to do more for Max's reputation than any other championship season he's had. 2023 was dominant and incredible but people will always just say he had no competition and therefore it means nothing which is an insane thing to say about the most successful singular season in the history of the sport, 2022 for some reason people just write off. Once again, they'll just say he had the best car so of course he'll win, and 2021 is obviously fraught with controversies that overshadow what was objectively a brilliant season for Max. But 2024? It's showing that he does not need the fastest car to win. Not even the second, but the third fastest car (at points the fourth) and he's still 47 points ahead.

It's brilliant. Hasn't won a race in months and he's still winning. In a car that at points didn't even turn, with an engine that seems to want to fail every other weekend, with a practically non-existent teammate, and a team that feels like it's falling apart around him.

But it's just the car. Okay, so where's Lando? Oh, right, 47 points behind.

See you in Abu Dhabi.

[miniscule-meow]

G/t ask game A 20 🫢

Random fun facts!

Marcus: Marcus is a sporty guy (tm) This is filed under "pieces of info about this character that I hold, but may never do anything with." For a while I figured he played baseball. Now I think it's hockey. Either way, he can definitely ice skate. I think he plays with his college, but even if he didn't he would be involved like in a local community team.

Zeke: I talk about Zeke a lot in the story, I'm not sure what else there is to really say about him. He wants to own his own shop for alterations one day. He likes to paint his nails, usually black or green. He's always liked miniature things, he thinks they're super cute. So, with Isabell being around, he really likes making tiny things for her. He loves reading, typically like epic fantasy stuff like The Wheel of Time.

Isabell: If Isabell was human, she would still be really short. Like, 5'2" also, she would be a ballerina. This has also been something that has been true about her in my brain for forever, and I've just never talked about it before.

Felix: Felix holds all of my anger. He is responsible for it, and he keeps it safe. When I first wrote his story, he was very chill. He very quickly gained sentience in my brain and was very loud about how he is very much NOT chill. He craves violence. I'm still ironing out the pieces with him, but I feel like his story can be really really cool. I'm just a little daunted by the world building, honestly. I'm torn between wanting to write something grand and epic and just wanting to write some lil scenarios. Especially because he's a size shifter, so not every chapter has actual G/t in it, and that's not great for the notes lol. But, while I desire the validation of the numbers going up on my posts, I don't write just for that. I want the story to be... good.

Sometimes I forget about how many backlog WIPs I have, compared to what I've actually posted. I don't know exactly the direction I will settle on for them, but I'm really excited about it.

Charlie: If Charlie was real, we would be best friends. She's so cool. She's also like. fearless. obviously there are things she's afraid of but she doesn't back down, not without a fight. (it's just that... Felix loves a fight, and he will usually win)

Deckard: my disaster boy. I love this silly little guy. His self-sabotaging nature is so enthralling to me. He is the master of bad decisions with good(eh?) intentions. Pretty much all of my OCs have like some sense of like, preference towards honesty and communication. but this guy? He just likes to lie. A true unreliable narrator here.

Lark: I don't know if this is necessarily a fun fact, but I think Lark is my least favorite OC. I am planning on a full re-do on their story. The bones are there, she just feels really flat to me. My first chapters in this story are really really old. I feel like I can do better now, and there are new choices that are more exciting to me.

[punkitt-is-here]

It's fascinating to me to encounter people on the internet who choose explicitly not to say what their pronouns are.

To be clear, I respect your decision and applaud the firmness of your stance. I think that overall there should be less personal information on the internet and restricting pronouns is simply another step on the way to taking back internet privacy. The thing is, I have spent enough time, effort, money, and grief on the project that is myself that I am having difficulty grokking the desire not to have one's gender be known at all. I am totally disarmed by the attitude, and I attribute this entirely to my own experience growing up on the internet. I can no longer abide resigning myself to the perceived genericized maleness of the average internet user. I deliberately make my pronouns available I go on the internet, and I correct people in conversation when appropriate.

This is because, in my past experience (middle 2000s ongoing), if one did not have clear gender they got the masculine pronouns. Assigned Male By Forum Users wasn't just the default, it was the practice, the de facto, the un-inspected habit of the english speaking internet user. There Are No Girls On The Internet was then and to a degree still is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Even though it was obviously never the case, and that women have always been on the internet, sometimes it is easier to just go along with the flow to avoid the inevitable misogyny.

Keep it up, you funky little internet person. I like your horse comix! They are good.

Haha, I totally get it! When you work so hard on yourself, you want to make sure people see it right. I'm all for pronouns being readily available and stuff.

That being said, I like keeping em a secret for a couple reasons! They'll come out eventually, obviously, I'm a film student with a job and eventually someone from online is gonna meet me in-person and I'll be happy to let them know then and when I (IDEALLY) have a career that'll be public knowledge. I've got a perfectly good gender I'm very happy and comfortable with. For now, tho, since I've seen it a million times with artists online that i really love, I've found out that people tend to weaponize your gender/pronouns a lot. No matter what they are, too! I think I just get less weird comments and mail by just keepin' that shit a secret. Folks don't gotta know cuz it aint really that important. I like being able to speak online and not having one trillion internet strangers who think they know me because of some words in my bio cross-examine me every time I talk.

Also, it's fun! I've had people think I'm a cis girl, a trans guy, a trans girl, a cis guy, a nonbinary no-gender something or other, a neopronoun user, genderfluid...basically everything under the sun! And I think it's fun to see how people perceive me since I don't think you get that option a lot. It's honestly really fun to know that my online presence doesn't have any...like, gender coding to it, if that makes any sense? Because I've seen NO consistency in the guesses and I find that incredibly entertaining. Even some people who've known me for years passively online still use the incorrect pronouns cuz I've never clarified and I think that's just silly and fun. I'm glad to know that I'm very much not explicitly in any sort of "box" with the way I present myself, because I think gender is kinda silly in the first place.

So, uh, yeah! That's mostly my reasoning for not clarifying anywhere, hehe. :3c

[flooficandii]

thats got me thinking actually . i havent rly had the energy nor the interest to update nuniq's doc to include interactions w/ the newest agents . including harbor and tjats literally her boyfriend lmao 😭😭😭😭 but anyway lemme make some poorly drawn depictions of what nuniq thinks of the newer agents (starting from clove to gekko)

clove

honestly. nuniq wasnt too jazzed about the idea of hiring a kid (grown adult but theyre a kid to her), especially an untrained one . she understands they might have a link to omen going rogue but is still iffy about the whole situation

also oof. the whole immortality thing? yeah it must be a lot to bear for clove, theyre just very good at hiding it. but like with a lot of the young radiants, nuniq lets them know they can approach her about this stuff bc shes been through it too

she can admit she gets pissed at clove bc their immortality causes them to make more reckless decisions on the field . she wants to get it in their head that you still have to be smart about these things no matter how much power you have

but! she thinks clove is very nice. very silly very sweet guy who is an excellent storyteller. storytelling is very intertwined in both nuniq and clove's cultures so she loves listening to whatever clove can whip up

clove has probably dragged her into dnd at least once

she took a while to grasp it but thats ok shes trying her best

anyway yeah clove talks a lot and sometimes nuniq cant understand them so she has to ask them to slow down

iso

valorant hired him because he was a kingdom killer and nuniq was ALL FOR THAT !!!!

she can tolerate the cocky smug little shit thing bc hes professional at least

hes not very hard to work with and is very cunning and calculating. nuniq likes that

iso has most definitely heard about nuniq before and was surprised to see her alive bc a lot of media made it seem she was dead to quell the uprisings against kingdom

nuniq is fascinated by iso's radiance but it definitely makes her think about how fast and how complex the concept of radiance itself is evolving . to think he could create his own pocket dimension with prismatic energy

besides that i feel like they mostly mind their own business

theres a mutual respect for eachothers skill and grit and they just *nods*

deadlock

like the thing says. theres currently some weird tension between deadlock and nuniq rn (and its surprisingly not gay)

theyre both so cold its kinda hard for either of them to approach eachother

deadlock is. working on her relationship with gekkos creatures! which nuniq appreciates

but idk nuniq never forgets anything and its hard for her to get over the fact she almost killed wingman multiple times

+ proposed awful countermeasures to keep the radivores in check

yk that one headcanon someone made about gekkos friendliness and critters winning over a lot of the protocol?

and how they immediately had beef w deadlock because of it?

yeah thats the situation with nuniq

things have simmered down with the creature situation but nuniq mostly ignores deadlock outside of work

and frankly i think deadlock's scared of nuniq too so

gekko

last but not least GEKKO !!!!

nuniq loves gekko!!! hes so silly

hes fun and lighthearted while still being a good fighter

being around gekko makes nuniq feel. Friendlier idk how else to describe it

also his critters have 100% stolen her heart sometimes she asks to babysit wingman when gekkos busy

she has had to apologize for aput using dizzy as a chew toy though

gekko has dyed nuniqs hair temporarily; it was northern lights-colored streaks that looked really cool when braided, she kept it for about a month until it washed out

overall she thinks hes very sweet and she and reyna can get along over being protective of him

anyway yeah i think thats every agent so far after harbor! wow !!! i cant believe we've already made it this far to agent 25 .. and agent 8 still hasnt been revealed yet i love valorant lore (tired

[beanghostprincess]

What do you think about Zoro and Usopp?

(If you’re still doing the ship thing)

yeah!! honestly the ship thing was just an excuse so people would send me asks bc i love interacting with all of you here <33 just use my inbox for anything you want to ask me and i'll reply anytime!!! (for the ones who sent me sanuso/zolu prompts, i swear to god i'm writing them i'm just slow af and busy with work. bear with me pleaseplease).

okay so!! zoro x usopp!!!

i must say, i didn't even think about them as a ship until not long ago when i saw a fanart of them and i went "oh, damn, they're actually really cute!". that, and also that you can't go into the ao3 sanuso tag without finding sanji/usopp/zoro too. which i understand. i just don't usually read those much. but i know the ship exists and i appreciate it bc the three of them deserve love, and tbh at this point i just love the whole sanji/usopp/zoro/luffy poly thingy.

i love the zosopp dynamic. they're so,, so silly,,, and there are so many possibilities for angst too???? like, not my top ship but damn it has a lot of potential. and i'm easy to convince, so with a few fanarts and fics i might actually start shipping them for real. who knows. i'm just very specific when it comes to shipping zoro (meaning i only ship him with luffy, lmao. and sanji when the horniness takes over the critical thinking or when the art is just too good).

i love their scenes together and the whole "calm x anxious" thing that ends up turning into "calm one is actually stupid and anxious can't believe he's really that stupid". that also being zoro seeing usopp's potential and wanting him to grow as a pirate so he doesn't interfere when it comes to things like water 7 or personal growth, but admires him from a distance. while usopp is, like, there, admiring and kind of envying zoro's strength but also admitting that he's human too and has feelings and can act like a dumbass. i think zoro would be clingy with usopp in the sense of protectiveness because in canon he's already protective of him (and also would find comfort in him after knowing him for so long. east blue crew things), so them being a couple would only make him more possessive and caring. which is cute!!! like (and i also say this when it comes to sanuso) zoro knows usopp can protect himself. he just cares too much to let him on his own. and he might act like he's tired of usopp's anxious and panicking attitude, but he gets it. he lets usopp do his things. he stays there. zoro protects and loves and he isn't loud about it but he's like a gentle, big cat. and this is just me being a very violent sanuso shipper, but the three of them together would be good when it comes to protecting usopp and also hyping him up!!! that's their sniper!!!!! they love him so much.

but also, from usopp's pov (because for some reason we always talk about zoro's povs when it comes to shipping???? idk why. it happens a lot with zolu, too, idk) i think he loves zoro in such a silly, teasing, intimate way,,, the east blue crew will always hit different, man, but idk,, usopp loves teasing zoro and making him mad and somehow he always ends up making the swordsman participate in their silly, dumb shenanigans. and i think that's beautiful because it's not only usopp wanting to fuck with him, but also usopp wanting zoro to have fun instead of just being protective and first-mate-like all the time. does that make sense??? i think it does.

there's also the respect between them. like, silent respect. zoro knows usopp is capable of fighting and making his own decisions and yet still protects him when asked because sometimes he knows there are fights that only the monster trio can handle (same thing that happens with nami, basically). and usopp respects zoro's position as the first mate and admits that he isn't just a dumb swordsman. although he loves teasing him bc tbh stressed zoro being out of his comfort zone is just so funny--

besides, they're sooo domestic. i love the tiny bits of them smiling and hugging. soft zoro is rare, but when it happens??? it's my whole world. and i think usopp is one of the few people that can make him smile in such a cute way!!!

also they're chaotic af. since day 1. i love them. they have to be one of the most hilarious duos in this show.

ngl now i have the urge to read fics of them uguhhsdjksdkj

TL;TR: i like them a lot, they're just not my top ship. probably i will ship them soon if i consume enough content. give me a few days.

LOOK THEY'RE SO CUTE GONNA CRYYY

[karmaisahumanbeing]

A little more about Karma?

// OOC: (this gets very long, I apologize in advance)

I sort of rambled a lot about Karma in the main post, but I still have a few things to say that I was worried about adding, because I didn't want it to be too long! (long like that sentence, gosh..)

Anyway,

From what we know about his story, he was sold to a slave dealer when he was only a child and then along the way, ended up in Ace's hold. He's completely given up by the time he meets Fyodor, as he tells our favourite russian "you should just give in."

That gives us a few bits of information, especially if we embellish a little.

Karma is fatherless. Poor soul...

Seriously though, he doesn't even mention his parents when recalling his backstory. It's easy to assume he's never met them, or he ignores their existence because they were the ones to sell him off?

It's more of a headcanon i guess, but I assume Karma has gone through more than a few owners due to the fact that he's still alive when we are introduced to Ace. If he still had some fight left in him by the time he gets to the pm, Ace would have probably just killed him. Plain and simple.

I assume Ace's territory is underground, just because I can't see any windows around the place. Due to this, living with Ace would have added another level of helplessness and isolation.

This isolation would lead to Karma thinking highly of Ace, because while he's cruel and all that, if he says he's smart and no one disputes this then he is, right? he has fifty men by his side, and was organizing a mafia takeover. Ace was probably the strongest person Karma ever knew, so yes, he thought highly of him

Subsequently, if Karma were to have survived Ace's downfall via Fyodor, I imagine he would've spent a long time unsure of himself and just living day by day, trying to make decisions for the first time that were always made for him before.

Also, he overshares and trusts people with information about himself easily. I mean, he spilled his entire backstory to Fyodor WITHOUT A SINGLE PROMPT. he definitely has trust issues, but literally can't stop himself from saying things that can be left unsaid.

With a backstory like that, our current Karma has got to be a little fucked up, right? So, things I headcanon about Karma are:

He's completely socially inept. He never had to have conversations before, so he's not very good at them (totally not self projecting)

expect lots of "uuuh.." "You're... uhmm..." "... totally.. uhm..." kinds of things, and lots of sorrys!

To make matters worse, he has a lot of social anxiety, which sometimes becomes so bad it puts him in these states where he can't even talk.

not being able to talk makes him more stressed, to the point where he starts to shake, and he can work himself up to a panic attack pretty easily

He's jumpy around even the slightest mention of the port mafia, thinking that the entire port is after him and all that. he's extremely paranoid about it all

he doesn't know anyone by how they look, and he doesn't even know most of them by name. mentionable people he does know the names of is Chuuya, Koyou, and Dazai. he doesn't know Mori by name, because Ace always referred to him as "boss"

He knows next to nothing about the outside world. he's freshly escaped, and nothing is familiar anymore after years of slavery and being kept away from people.

honestly, he would probably be semi-illiterate, but that makes things difficult blogging lore-wise so I'm ignoring that

He thinks of Fyodor as his saviour, and looks up to him

He knows very well what money can do in this world, especially after living with Ace for so long, he's become a bit greedy and/or protective of what little money he has.

deep-seeded abandonment issues. totally not projecting.

i hope that all made sense. i might feel silly later and add more, who knows...

[puckpocketed]

on the topic of mutuals actually ! (+ my thoughts on blocking) long and winding non essay under the cut.

mutualism and friendship

it's come up semi-regularly in conversation in the past month-ish and i've been marinating on it so I guess I should write my thoughts down here.

i'm sure this isn't a groundbreaking brainwave no one has ever had before but uh . i think this is probably a product of having grown up with very little social media but i just dont particularly care for the concept of mutuals. i dont think about it. i think of people on here as friends first and mutuals second. "mutuals" is barely meaningful to me as a label other than shorthand for friends, and even then it is rendered useless by the fact that I think of some non-mutuals as friends.

idc if you follow my blog back, if we're regularly interacting and having fun then we are friends regardless of mutual status. the focus on "being mutuals" is, to me, a little impractical (and sidebar,, honestly its kinda crazy how divorced it is from the real human phenomenon of connection and friendship. hello!!!!! why we letting social media button supplant friendship and connection. not to be Old Man Yells at Clouds but what are we doing raising this generation to think about being mutuals and commenting/liking posts as some friendship obligation, on the same level as smiling at them or laughing with them. hello. what are we doing giving them anxiety about whether or not enough people liked their posts. what are we doing???? does someone wanna talk about this with me because it eats me up lmao)

I'd rather people follow me because they, idk, enjoy the little character bits i do + my unhinged liveblogging + occasional gifs and baking - rather than out of some obligation because we are friendly. don't put yourself through the ordeal of being flooded by sharks magma whenever they play a game just because we're friends LMAO i wouldn't do that for anyone if the situation were reversed !!

^on this topic, if I don't follow you back it doesn't mean I don't like you, I might simply not vibe with your blog. the decision to follow is not predicated on whether or not we have good rapport. it's literally just choosing to see your blog on my feeds. speaking as someone who has done a fair bit of leg work to curate my internet experience, following/not following is part of that. and I think of other people's choices this way as well. i think not vibing with my blog is fine! it is incredibly scattered and the content is NOT for everyone and that's okay.

on blocking

blocking simply aint that big to me. I don't take it seriously or personally if i somehow realise I've been blocked, and blocking others isn't personal for me either. to me it is, again, simply an act of dashboard curation. I think i'd be way more anxious if i thought about blocking in terms of liking/hating.

I block people for all sorts of reasons, silly or serious. Sometimes i'm just annoyed that day, sometimes they say stuff that is deeply offensive to me. There's a whole spectrum of feelings about the blogs subject to my blocking habits that fall between the two extremes. at the core of it, it's about not wanting to see them in my feeds. simple as that.

(by the by, I block from my main blog and not my side blog, so people can still see things from puckpocketed if they want, and I don't have to see them! WIN-WIN!)

blog =/= blogger. I try to keep this distinction clear in my head. when a person makes a post on their blog and I have a problem with it, whether it annoys me mildly (stupid rude shit on my posts) or genuinely offends me to my core (racism or something), blocking them is not about saying "fuck you". it is not the "I have moral highground" button. not to me.

everything falls under this umbrella: racism, misogyny, completely out of pocket comments on my posts, being mildly annoying. Blocking isn't personal because I don't actually know anyone well enough to hate them, and the act of curating my feeds ain't praxis. blogging isn't praxis. I have bigger fish to fry so to speak. I have a real life and people to care for and communities to build. I have poetry to read and dogs to say hello to. i got a whole life to live!

the content of someone's blog is a TINY portion of who they are when weighed against the rest of their existence. it is but a sliver of their life and their personhood. I see it like this: wouldn't like it very much if someone made sweeping conclusions about my personhood based on my blog posts, and so I try not to do that either. key word is try. I don't always succeed and I think that's okay. we are all doing what we can on this bitch of an earth <3 what is most important is I'm trying to give people the grace I'd want for myself. like . shit. isn't that what its all about?? (mini confessional: I was a mean and angry person for a long time. in some ways i still feel like i am. but learning kindness by studying it instead of having it baked into my brain chemistry or however the fuck other people get it has taught me that we have to try)

anyway if u are still reading this hiii!!! I'd say sorry i just wanted to put my thoughts somewhere but . well. its MY blog and i get to paste weird magazine cutouts and glitter to my walls if i wanna !!! thank u for ur time

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

sooo I have some questions about mason becuase he seems like a really interesting character. Also it was kind of funny how he’s fine with beating up or electrocuting a pet but the second someone lets them go online or gives them slightly lax rules, he’s like oh no this poor sweetheart, this is so sad😞 . Would he punish a pet for panicking a lot or getting freaked out easily? Or what if a pet was transgender? Would he tell them they were just being silly or would he actually listen to them? What if a pet saved his life? Would he be grateful?

Thank you for the interest!! Mason is what I like to call an evil therapist with a HEALTHY dose of condescension.

Would he punish a pet for panicking/freaking out easily?

Not necessarily, it depends on why the pet is scared. If there is something genuinely stressful going on (getting a new owner, tension in the home, medical, even something like a thunderstorm) he would not punish them. In his mind, that is not willful disobedience. They are scared, they are stressed, and pets are simple creatures that struggle to regulate themselves. That is part of the owners job. If the panic stems from like a panic disorder, Mason is incredibly sympathetic of that. He would train the pet with calming exercises they can use and suggest medication if needed.

If he gets the vibe the panic is an act of manipulation, that will be punished.

What if a pet saved his life? Would he be grateful?

Very! But it wouldn’t change anything. You know those news stories of dogs dragging children out of fires or cats alerting parents that the child was having a medical emergency? He’d see it like that. He’d absolutely thank the pet and do an interview on the news but in the end the pet is still just a pet.

And this one was a fascinating question Nonny!!! I did put it under the cut because of some transphobia, however I mostly just talk about gender in my worldbuilding. Perhaps gatekeeping or delusion is a better term but the end result is transphobia so I’m gonna warn as such.

What if a pet was transgender? Would he tell them they’re just being silly or actually listen to them?

It should be emphasized again that Mason does not believe pets are human. He does not think they are people. You cannot change his mind, he is stuck in this delusion.

… you know what. I don’t think Mason believes pets know what gender is. In a way he sees them as toys or dolls, and he is the one making decisions about what they wear. If he thinks Rudy would look cute in a dress he’d just buy Rudy a dress. Rudy does not get a choice in what he’s wearing, not in any meaningful way.

If a pet (for some reason lmao) came to him and said they’re trans, he might laugh and say “from what?” He’d also ask where they even heard that and likely dismiss it as “that’s something for humans. You don’t need to worry about it.”

I mean, also in this world I’ve created literally what WOULD gender mean to a pet? There are no specific gender roles or expectations- they’re all just pets. And sterile. There’s no social influence of how they’re supposed to be acted based on their assigned gender at birth. Oh for sure they have expectations but they’re all based on their “class” for a lack of a better term.

Fuck me my ocs should have way more weirdness with their gender identity after being freed. That would be so bonkers to go from a world where it doesn’t exist to where it dictates everything.

(Also in the end this still ends up having a lot of my own feeling and opinions about gender in it. Your characters are the biggest fucking snitches every time. Honestly I have tussled with gender specific stuff for a while but it’s mostly based in religious trauma. I’m trying to sort it out but it’s a complicated ever changing messy thing. Idk. Slowly chipping away at it. I’m saying this to be transparent and as a plea to not be abrasive. I don’t expect it but I am fucking delicate sometimes and need to explicitly explain why I do or think the things I do. Is this too raw for a post on tumblr.com about my silly little ocs? Yes absolutely. Should i delete this part? yes. Will I?)

[fallstreakfeathers]

Urogi Headcanons

bc I'm in love with he??? brainrotting so bad for this guy.

General:

Aizetsu helps preen the feathers Urogi can’t reach, mostly because Sekido won’t help and Karaku occasionally pulls the wrong feather (ow) for shits

He is not unintelligent, but definitely makes really dumb decisions based on how fun the result might be

He is the most ‘feral’ of the clones, operating and making decisions based mostly on instinct rather than logic- which greatly frustrates Sekido

Really bad at identifying his own feelings. If he were to ever grow attached to someone else (especially romantically) he wouldn’t understand it. He’d just know that he wants to be around that person a lot/etc.

Very easy to distract, and the most forgiving of a fight if you can distract or entertain him (”forgiving” in that he might not kill you afterward)

Urogi hates rain. It soaks his wings, preventing him from flying. The change in air density also makes flight difficult. He has been know to throw tantrums over rainstorms.

Despite a dislike of rain, he loves water in general. You can sometimes find him flapping about in a lake or pond like a massive bird bath

Better at soaring than active flying but is incredible at diving. Reaches surprising speeds.

Loves birds! Won’t ever hurt them but sometimes accidentally terrifies them when he tries to race once in the sky. He doesn’t always realize he’s scaring them.

Has a room in Hantengu’s hideaway to keep his stuff because Sekido complains if he leaves anything around.

Knows how to knit, for some reason??? Has a massive blanket he painstakingly made for himself and the other clones and it’s one of the few things they ALL take care not to destroy in any way.

He likes knowing how to create things, even if they don’t always turn out quite right.

Woe betide you if you make fun of Urogi’s knitting or that blanket.

Honestly just likes learning new things, doesn’t matter what it is. It makes him happy. He loves when people want to teach him things!

Adrenaline Junkie. Sometimes folds his wings together just to plummet thousands of feet. For fun.

Tells really dumb jokes that he thinks are hilarious. Sometimes they don’t even make sense.

Doesn’t care for traditions or social taboos. He’s likely to break social rules just because it’s funny.

Though he cares in his own way for the other clones, Urogi is particularly fond of Aizetsu. Given the choice, he will always help Aizetsu first. Tends to be shockingly patient with Aizetsu’s morose personality.

Knitted a small blanket for Aizetsu to hold when he’d particularly down.

Urogi is the 3rd least likely to be convinced to let someone go free once he’s targeted them (the first being Aizetsu, 2nd Karaku, and the least likely is Sekido)

this man cannot draw worth beans but still has his art pinned on the wall at Hantengu’s place.

Has explosive sneezes- often accidentally emits sound wave of varying strength. Whoops.

Behavior:

His tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth when he’s really concentrated on something (like... knitting).

Tilts his head like an owl or hawk when curious about something he sees or hears.

Frequently goes off on his own when separated, much to Sekido’s annoyance.

Sometimes attempts to groom the other clones- to Sekido’s obvious irritation, Karaku’s amusement, and Aizetsu’s confusion.

Will playfully nip and headbutt people he considers friends

flies more than he walks because he looks a little silly walking and it's one of the few things he's a little self-conscious about.

Uses his wings to propel himself forward even short distances.

Chirps! Also (like many birds) can growl, hiss, purr, and (of course) screech. Has an enormous vocal range but tends to make only a handful of noises compared to what he’s capable of.

If he is extremely upset about something, he can screech so loud that the vibrations can shatter trees. Though he is rarely ever even remotely that upset.

His bird-like calls also change when he’s sad or threatening someone from afar. He releases very low frequency rumbles that border on being infrasound (see: cassowaries)

If he can’t devour his prey immediately, he will impale the body on a tall branch to save for later.

Extremely excitable. He does get the zoomies. Don’t bother trying to stop him, just wait until he calms down a little.

Tends to attack his opponent's eyes in battle.

Doesn’t know personal space (doesn’t care, really) but is, ironically, protective of his personal space regarding his wings. Unless he offers, do not try to touch them!

Uses his wings in combat! They’re not just for show or flight. Has a lot of strength in them and he can use them to bludgeon an opponent.

He does like to perch on the shoulders of other people. Since his body is quite light, you should be fine if you have a strong back.

He is the most emotionally immature of the clones.

Also the chattiest! This guy can talk for hours, about everything and nothing. Karaku is 2nd most talkative. Has bit his own tongue from talking so fast.

Urogi has the strongest survival instincts of the clones. He’s not afraid to flee a battle if things are going south for him- though that hasn’t happened in decades. The idea of honor in battle means very little to him.

Collects shiny things, and stuff he steals from Slayers. Has a bit of everything- bones, rocks, gems, cool sticks, nichirin swords and shards, metals, books, animal fur, etc

Doesn’t actually read very well tbh but he does like the concept of books

frequently demands that Demon Slayers ‘play’ with him but it’s always a gamble what he means by that. Sometimes it’s a friendly tussle, sometimes a full-scale battle, and sometimes it’s just dropping you from 700 feet in the air and seeing if you survive.

When they’re free as a group, Urogi will often soar high above, scouting the area for the other clones. Since nobody can hear him hundreds of feet in the air, he’s developed several aerial signals for various things (Slayers in the vicinity, potential prey, coverage from the sun, the sun is rising soon, etc)

Physical:

His ‘pants’ are actually thick, silky feathers. I will never change my mind about this.

He wears the string of pearls around his waist mostly just so Sekido stops complaining about him being completely naked all the time. 

Doesn’t smell bad unless he just ate, and therefore smells like carnage, but he has the rather distinct smell that feathers do

His scales are prone to getting mites, and flea’s on his upper legs, so he’s always taking surprisingly good care of himself. He doesn’t get infestations, because the parasites generally die after biting him, but those bites itch and make him miserable. Frequently bathes and rolls in dust to prevent them.

If he has down time, there’s a good chance you’ll find him preening himself.

Has some feathering on the nape of his neck. It’s hard to tell because it’s the same type he has on his legs, and so it blends in with his actual hair pretty well

Urogi’s feathers molt every few months. During this time, he’s super itchy and irritable. This is the time he’s most likely to uncharacteristically snap at someone.

Hantengu has been intentionally beheaded before just to release Urogi because the poor guy was so uncomfortable that it was affecting everyone else. 

Molting is one of the few times he MIGHT let a stranger touch his wings, if he’s desperate enough, but God help you if you cross him in any way.

Injuries to his wings tend to cause him pain where injuries to other parts of his body wouldn’t. They're sensitive enough to feel and process changes in air currents.

Body temperature is always on the warm side. He’s a walking furnace, and it helps keep him from getting chilled when he’s higher in the atmosphere.

His scales are not stone-hard! They’re more akin to the way a snake’s scales feel- firm but with a lot of flexible give.

His feathers raise subconsciously when irritated to make him look bigger and more threatening.

Most of his bones are hollow.

Extremely good eyesight

When he’s not giving you his signature, toothy grin, his smile is actually a little crooked.

[centi-pedve]

been scouring the regretevator wiki cause i was curious (terrible wiki btw i am so sorry. one page has a citation that just links to some discord bullshit which people who are not in the server obviously cant see) anyways i am getting a terrible impression of the creator(?) and i would be interested in your thoughts on this business if youd be willing to share :3

oh goodness gracious... well we do have Some thoughts and we dunno if they match your own concerns since, we purposefully don't go out looking for whatever the creator has said but yeah even from a distance it's. Not looking good. (Already mentioned some of these before but for the sake of putting it in one place we'll be redundant)

definitely has his own takes on certain characters, headcanons, and the like. it was silly at first but as time went on and the more effort he put into pushing negativity over certain things the less fun it became. we think, if you want people to dislike a character, you try and make them dislikeable within the context of the story and then let people form those opinions. rather than being weird about the fact that there are still people who do like the character and punishing them by denying them the most basic things or even involving them in the story at all because Doesn't Deserve It. yes this is primarily about unple/asant

related but... too much of a reliance on telling stories with twitter or other unofficial platforms. did we learn nothing from the dumbledore is gay tweet. like a huge amount of information on the wiki that is very important to understanding the characters are just is NOT in the game, like if you played the game fully you'd still need to rely on the wiki to be able to participate in fandom. honestly a large part of that is why we're so biased towards certain characters! unple/asant and infe/cted are the only characters with lore and trivia and such that we've bothered to go on the wiki for and memorize. we've played the game for hours and hours but that doesnt mean much lol. once again, unple/asant especially, it literally DOESN'T TALK or participate in ANY of the active dynamic story because Doesn't Deserve It but there's still things to know about unple/asant and people who like the game just want something!! like dunno the overuse of social media in storytelling just makes it so much more unfun, we don't like how information is released and the fact that we need to rely on external material that... is sometimes taken back because the creator has gone on record Just Saying Shit. favorite example vv

Which is really funny considering it has 1 piece of dialogue on the game. So it can physically speak, and is also not "mewing 24/7" by result of having that dialogue (pretty sure the creator was just encouraged to say that without giving a fuck but, whatever). but the things that happen in game are second to the creator's twitter feed AMIRIGHTFELLAS

3. the,. the ableism. we've heard people tried to bring it up with the creator in the past and they were ignored so we feel comfortable mentioning it lol. bi/ve is a stereotype of someone who suffers from paranoia really, we mean we love her but... lol... and we will say it again pe/st should not canonically have npd or aspd. like omggg the evil character that robs people has two pds negatively stereotyped as belonging to evil people we're sure there was no bias in this decision. maybe we'd be less bothered if people didn't treat it as so serious and pretend to be cluster b allies like "you have to give him some understanding cuz he has aspd and npd 🥺" like no because he's evil, also maybe it wouldn't hurt to care about real people with those pds instead of a caricature. also the half-hearted throwing around of the word "mute" for unple/asant has been pointed out as ableist by a lot of people.

tldr uhhh wuhgghh NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK nobody get us (: nobody talk us...