#very word heavy

[tricks-n-illusions]

{ @askoinari } So, your one true wish in this whole entire universe is to die, hm? Tragic, pitiful really. All this fuss and a temper tantrum because you couldn’t win mommy’s love? Even your own god does not grant you the peace you so desperately long for, stringing you along like a puppet. Do you honestly think your death will solve all your problems? Knowing your god, they’d probably spite you back to life in the form of a ghost for a laugh, wouldn’t that be ironic? I suppose nobody else would care about your death considering your track record for violence, but what of your No-so-apparent companion here? Wouldn’t they mourn you, at the very least? Judging from your charming nature, probably not! Good luck on your fools’ errand. - Yako

Silas's ears flattened as he backed away from Yako, for the first time it seemed he was fearful of someone. Though you couldn't place why... But, Silas knew, he knew exactly why, it was that damn mask, the posture, the aura, the way their tail seemed to become a wisp. It was like looking at a ghost. Once he realized why Yako scared him Silas couldn't do much but freeze in place and squeeze his eyes shut, hoping they would just leave. His fear response became painfully apparent as the moments passed. All he could muster up was a feeble anxious whimper, maybe that would magically make them spare him from the incoming verbal assault. Then they spoke. It sounded just like her. In his terror it WAS her.

Seance's tone was mocking, something Silas was guilty of doing... or maybe he was just copying her the whole time. Even so, she just quietly hummed in thought, looking over him as she ever so slightly inched closer and closer.

"Even after all these years, you're still chasing after her love? Desperately hoping one day she'll forgive you for all the pain you caused her?" Though Seance's voice was soft, her words were not. "I told you, She doesn't love you and she never will. Why can't you get that through your head?" She paused, giving her words a moment to sink in before she spoke up again. "Silas." She sounded upset. "What did I tell you about not looking at me while I'm talking to you?" He cringed at that but didn't reply.

When he didn't do what she said, she just gave a soft, "Tsk." Well, He always was a coward, of course he didn't have the guts to even look at her. She gently brushed a claw over his face before finally letting go with an annoyed sigh. Despite Seance's words, Yako's voice was still loud and clear, mocking him along with her. Her voice seemed to compliment theirs perfectly.

Seance quickly broke into laughter at the thought of that herself.

"Isn't that right, Little fox?" Truth always hurt. Silas couldn't deny it, Yako was right. Seance was right, every word every insult was right. When tears finally began to well up and Seance's voice faded, Silas found the courage to speak. His voice was soft and faint. A mere whisper compared to the onslaught of words from Yako. "Please..."

Silas's words obviously went unheard. His claws just dug further into his skin, blood beginning to trail down his arm, the moment it finally seemed like Yako was going to stop talking, Silas broke from his fearful trance. In one quick sweeping motion, Silas threw out a Night Slash.

"JUST SHUT UP ALREADY." He shouted. "You have NO right to TALK DOWN to me like I'm beneath you! I AM NOT BENEATH YOU." He sounded unsure. "You don't know who the fuck I am, and I don't think you want to find out. So, Shut the fuck up or I'll make you! I have no fucking problem with killing you right here. Unless you want to be gutted I suggest you FUCK OFF." Silas lowly growled, his teeth bared, a blatant attempt at aggression, though his behaviour portrayed more fear than anything. Yako obviously touched a nerve with his words.

He didn't care. Finally, after everything the tears began to flow, all he could do was sniff and wipe them away. "...Fucking pathetic." He grumbled, his words seemed to be addressed to Yako but it quickly became clear it was for himself.

→ Yako has been added to the relationships page. → Seance has been added to the characters page. → Silas is now injured and will stay that way until he addresses it.

[ Ask from @askoinari ]

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: Check out. The fully-sexual charged cinematic movement design.

Cnetizens: How did the director come up with the idea to have him kneel on a playing card, adding so much aesthetic energy, is that some kind of genius?

[nimbusclan]

Moon 3, Part 2

[Previous] [Start] [Next]

Without a second of hesitation, Moonpaw takes off over the mountain, mouth open to follow Fogpaw’s scent as her paws fly over the rocks. Her legs are screaming, but adrenaline overpowers her exhaustion.

“Fogpaw?” She yowls. “Fogpaw!”

“I’m here.” Fogpaw’s voice sounds from somewhere nearby, strained but blessedly alive. Moonpaw turns in the direction of the sound and darts around the edge of an outcropping of rock, freezing as the sour scent of blood fills her nostrils.

“Fogpaw?”

“I told you, I’m right here,” He hisses. He’s half on the ground, struggling to pull himself to his paws, so Moonpaw goes to press her body to his to help him up. His pale fur is stained and streaked with blood from long gashes that mar his flank and there are clumps of fur stuck between his claws.

“What happened to you?” Moonpaw is terrified. The scent of blood reminds her of her last night at home and she struggles not to gag. “It smells like other cats.”

“It was other cats,” he spits, leaning heavily on her as she guides them back towards where she first spotted the rabbit. He limps, wincing with each step. “Remember those cats we met up with at the border? They’re using our hunting grounds.” Fogpaw’s voice shakes with anger. “I confronted them, but they said we don’t have a clan anymore which means that the territory is theirs. They said that if I tried to stop them, they’d make me pay. Well,” he laughs humorlessly, “I tried, but there were too many of them. I’m lucky that what little honor they have left was enough to stop them from killing me.”

Thank StarClan. She can’t lose her brother, too. He’s the only thing she has left. “You’re too reckless,” Moonpaw scolds. Fogpaw’s muzzle twists into a scowl, but he doesn’t deny it. “We have to leave, Fogpaw. We need to find somewhere new. We can rebuild NimbusClan, but it can’t be here.”

He looks at her, his eyes going wide and round. Slowly, a determined sheen comes over them. “Alright. Lead the way, Moonpaw.”

[Previous] [Start] [Next]

[anzuhan]

anzu doesnt like talking about this kind of stuff usually, because its very personal and very alarming

anzu loves everyone far too much to worry anybody about it, and anzu always wishes to spread nothing but positivity for as many people as possible, but the truth is it's coming nearer and nearer, so anzu is probably not able to hide it anymore. this isn't something willing, anzu loves anzu's life more than anything as is now, but anzu may pass this year, or at least become unable to do certain things anymore. there isn't much anzu can do besides pray, really, that things wouldn't go south, but its hard to say. anzu really just hopes anzu won't be forgotten, and that anzu's wishes can maybe still be carried out.. anzu hopes the world can still become kinder and more accepting. and well this is certainly nothing compared to the previous, but anzu also hopes len-hai could maybe still get back together and be happy and make more songs together, and hopefully become more loved by everyone, everywhere.

this is not anzu's choice, it's put upon anzu, and no one could really help for anzus entire life, anzu is just glad even if it was limited, anzu could make everyone happy. anzu is sorry if anzu wont be able to become a vtuber and an idol as anzu always wished, but this just doesnt really depend on anzu anymore, or rather, it never did. anzu always said it was due to personal problems and its true, its very jarring. anzu doesnt like talking about it.

if anzu stops posting indefinitely this summer, you'll have known what happened. its not medical issues either, and its been a fate put upon anzu since anzu was born, anzu wishes to not give further details. hope you can all still enjoy anzus works all the time and forever, all in your own way, and even learn from them if you so wish to do so, anzu is happy for all the love received in any way shape or form.

sorry

[ninyard]

Lawyer: How did you know about Andrew Minyard's alleged history with Drake Spear?

Neil: I asked.

LITERALLY

and the prosecution asking andrew well who else knows? and when andrew says just neil, luther and betsy (maybe partially renee as well, not by name, idk) they’re like why neil? why tell him?

he asked.

and the lawyer asks well, if someone else had asked, would you have told them?

under oath andrew says yes. because it’s the truth. if anyone cared enough to ask, cared enough to get to know him, he would tell them. but neil was the only one who asked.

would he have said “drake did xyz to me” no i don’t think so but if kevin had asked him something. in his high state, would he have been amused by kevin’s face when he tells him? (and maybe kevin already knows. maybe he’s smart enough to know without asking) but nobody knows how to ask. neil didn’t ask why do you hate the word please. neil didn’t ask what the word please ever did to him.

he knew the right question to ask and andrew answered.

[applestorms]

the misa post

adding a lil additional note here because this thing SPIRALED the fuck out, even more so than some of my usual essays. therefore, i will be going back to my roots by breaking this post down into two sections: misa and sexuality, and misa and romance/death. skip to whatever section, if you wanna. or don't. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

misa and sexuality:

honestly, the way that misa engages with her sexuality in DN is such a fascinating topic in and of itself. i really have quite mixed feelings about it because while yes, to some degree the art and story does sexualize and objectify her, there is also an element of agency to it that i don’t often see people talk about…?

like, idk. misa is a model, she does act, her job primarily involves working in front of cameras. she’s selling her Image and her body and she’s well aware of how to market the appeal— we literally see her doing this during yotsuba, when they’re trying to free matsuda after he runs around like an idiot and gets caught.

i actually think it's quite interesting that she specifies being against nudity here but alright with swimsuits and lingerie— full nudity implies sex work, something that in the mainstream might be considered "dirty" or somehow less/not worthy of respect (even if that's utter bullshit). yet lingerie is fine, despite having similar implications of sexuality, blocking off the most private areas and thereby allowing profit off of the same concept but without the associated disapproval. you could read this panel as misa simply knowing her boundaries and what she is and isn't comfortable with— but i think it's interesting that you could just as easily read this as misa knowing what boundaries she is and isn't allowed to have, if she is to market herself as effectively as possible and maintain her public image.

off the top of my head i can only think of two major examples where it’s clear that misa is super overtly being sexualized by forces outside of her control/with no particularly meaningful justification, at least in terms of visuals. this panel, which managed to sneak in a panty shot:

which, weirdly enough was actually kind of foreshadowed by sayu earlier in the chapter:

(sidenote1: does light really not have any other fucking chairs? further evidence that he doesn't really connect with people pre-DN, if he's not really prepared to have any guests in his room. anti-social weirdo.)

and, of course, the classic torture cover from chapter 33:

though i must admit, it is difficult to find any image of a character getting tied up like this that doesn't have some implication of sexuality. bondage torture is just a classic like that. though the camera certainly doesn't help, L— and neither does the fact that light and soichiro are not put into an equally objectifying, sense-deprived contraption like this, and instead just get normal ass bare cells.

in many other cases however, misa herself is the one flaunting her sexuality, typically as a means of trying to appeal herself to light but sometimes i think you can definitely read it as misa just. dressing the way that she wants to dress because it's cute? like, okay, in terms of trying to appeal herself to light we've got this classic panel from after the timeskip ft. a particularly homosexual light moment:

but there's also plenty of misa moments that just look like this:

girlie is chilling. literally kicking her feet, stalking her crush in bed with her supernatural death god girlfriend.

to be clear, this is not to say that death note isn't sexist or has particularly fantastic writing for its female characters. rather, what i'd like to point out here is that there are different levels under which we can view and analyze misa's sexuality:

the base level, of a girl who is comfortable with her body and fine with wearing revealing clothing

the level above that, involving the fact that misa's job revolves around selling her image, of which her sexuality is a key factor

and then the uppermost meta level, surrounding the fact that misa is a character in a story not only written and illustrated by men, but sold in shounen jump, meaning that she is thus filtered pretty significantly through a quite literal male gaze

it both can be and is true that misa is simultaneously objectified for her body on multiple levels and a pretty fucking horny person herself (or at the very least, willing to push that for the sake of her own goals)

remember, misa is the one pushing for their "alone time" here.

just. idk. i suppose my main point here is simply that i think this is a topic that deserves to be looked at with more nuance. there is credence to both the claims that misa is sexualized in DN and that misa herself has agency in how she chooses to dress and present herself, and i don't think you can cleanly separate those two aspects without losing something significant.

honestly, when it comes down to it, my personal take is that the real problem of sexism in DN is less about the particular ways in which individual female characters are presented/traits they are given, and more about the broad strokes of how women in general are treated... if my post on that particular subject ever ends up seeing the light of day, i guess i'll link that right about here. anyways,

misa and romance/death:

if there is one thing that her parents dying, almost being killed by a stalker, and making contact with a shinigami teaches misa, it is that love is something you kill and die for.

i really don't think that you can separate out "death" from "love" when it comes to misa, not only in terms of general themes, but also when it comes to how she personally views the world. i mean, just look at rem and gelus— death literally loves her, and in the process of loving her, allows her to cheat her way back to life. ryuk calls light a better shinigami than the actual shinigami, but honestly, if anyone fulfills that role, it's misa— she's the one whose life gets cut down until others stock it back up, who has so little regard for life (both in terms of others' and her own), who gambles her time again and again and does whatever she wishes, when she wishes, how she wishes.

it's that second point in particular that really gets to me here. throughout the story, misa shows herself to be equally detached from both the world and herself— she kills without care, gives up half her lifespan without a speck of a second thought, throws herself into dangerous situations and pushes for what she wants even when she knows it's stupid and probably going to get her caught. i'm slightly tempted to say that death's love for misa is the only mutual love she ever has, but that has some implications that i don't think quite fit. misa doesn't get a kick out of killing, she is not (overtly, or very explicitly) suicidal in the sense that she constantly expresses a yearning to kill or be killed. it's more of a toned down attachment than that, which... kinda gets into my next point, on misa's relationships. namely, with two very important people: rem and light.

in terms of rem... i struggle to analyze this relationship sometimes in the context of canon because at times it just feels like there is so little to work with. but perhaps that also fits, in a way...?

one thing that i think the musical really got right about rem is the fact that she has some of the most genuine feelings of love in the entire series, just in general but also specifically in terms of how other characters treat/approach misa. again, misa is a person whose job revolves around people loving or being attracted to her. i have a very hard time believing that the person who tried to kill her was her first or her last stalker, but even without getting to that level of intensity, much of the love surrounding misa is superficial, distant. she is beloved for the image she fits and the role that she plays, but very few people (if anyone) are even capable of getting close enough to recognize the self she hides under that mask (assuming, of course, that she ever lets that core part of her out).

rem is perhaps one of those few people, seemingly having watched misa for years alongside gelus before breaking that parasocial divide and meeting her idol in person. yet, it's also that very period of watching that puts a strain on their relationship, in my mind...

to put it bluntly: apologies to any and all remisa shippers, but i simply Do Not see there being much canon evidence that rem's love for misa is in any way mutual. not only do i struggle to think of any notable scenes where misa displays even an inch of affection or care towards rem, but misa is also kind of horrifically apathetic to rem's death, iirc. i mean, in a way, she's basically the cause of it— in failing to remember L's name upon getting her memories back, she pushes the first domino in the line leading up to watari, L, and rem's deaths.

misa basically treats rem like just another stalker, accepting her love so long as it is somewhat distant or gets her what she wants.

but, like. as shitty as that is to think about, it does kinda fit that misa would treat genuine love this way. at no point does she push back on or try to change rem's mind about this, or even really say fucking anything in response to rem's overt romantic/threatening overtures about how she'll kill anyone who tries to hurt her. i'm kinda inclined to view this as misa's attempt at kindness, accepting the love of her fans for what it is but never pushing it in either direction. she neither demands rem's love, nor attempts to dissuade it— it is what it is, and what happens, happens. and if it results in rem's death, or results in her own... at least it all happened out of love.

now, in terms of light... i was gonna make this its own post but it's on topic, so i might as well just add it here.

it is simultaneously so, so sad and yet also so, so utterly fucking funny that misa is perfectly designed to be everything that light absolutely hates. like, to just list it out cuz i literally have too many points to simplify this down into proper paragraphs rn, misa is:

uncontrollable. supposedly, misa is a perfect little devoted disciple of KIRA, willing to do anything and anything for him as thanks for getting justice for her parents' killer. but like... we all know how this actually works out. misa does whatever the fuck she wants, usually with the thin justification that it'll help KIRA in some way, and light is left behind to deal with the clean up.

stupid. no, not really— but she at the very least presents herself as such, as a ditzy, silly little girl, willing to do anything for love even if it hurts her. really, all this proves is that she wears a mask, just the same as light, though in the process she manages to also reflects to his own sins back at him. misa plays stupid so that she can justify doing stupid things without having to feel bad about it (or get emotionally attached at all?)— light plays god, a being above human morals, so he can do horrifically immoral things without having to feel bad about it. equal and opposite, in the worst possible way.

powerful. and pushy. the only person more stubborn than light yagami is misa amane, etc. etc. just like KIRA, she is a key pawn that light must rely on logistically, but is disgusted with all the same. misa is not a god, not in the way that KIRA is— she's just another filthy criminal, uncaring about the horrible acts she has committed. but she fits herself into his plans in just the right way that he can't quite come out and condemn her directly, and therefore is stuck quietly stewing in his dislike of her instead.

a liability. related to this is the fact that she is essentially unkillable, at least as long as rem is alive. many of the points behind her being uncontrollable apply to this one as well.

feminine. in a way that light dislikes, but also cannot ignore. she's cute and hot in a way that light is supposed to like, if he is to fit in w/ his Just A Typical, Good, Respectable Boy routine, but also drives him up the wall— pitting his desire to be "good" against his desire to be a "boy," essentially. (this point in particular is taken from THIS POST, big thanks to shydroid3000 for the beautiful yotsuba light analysis!!!)

possessive. controlling, in a way, which is again ironically exactly like light himself. light Hates being controlled because it means there may be factors outside of what he has power over, a trait which becomes increasingly relevant in the latter half of the story.

untouchable. even after rem's death, light can never quite get into the right position to kill her. she's almost too effective, causing light problems (e.g. yotsuba) and fucking things up, but never in such a way that he can easily place the blame on her shoulders alone. she is useful, a necessary evil, outliving multiple gods.

and, above all else, ultimately...

(sidenote2: it's kinda interesting to compare misa to L in this regard, actually, especially in terms of why light gets so attached to L but hates misa so viciously, despite L also being quite a bit like light? i guess you could say that misa reflects back the parts of light that he doesn't like as much, or even more specifically that she reflects KIRA back at him, where L matches/opposes light in terms of what he sees to be his better traits— his intelligence, his social power, etc. something to consider.)

to follow up on the sentiments of this post: misa does not love light. she relies on him to fill the hole in her life, in her, as a quick fix to avoid having to engage with the deep-seated grief that haunts her, an answer to the horrifying question of why she is even still here, alive, so long after her appointed bell has already stopped ringing.

to tie this all together, then... i suppose it's fitting that both love and sexuality are are so essentially Empty when it comes to misa amane. ultimately, she is a character defined by a misery she never allows herself to show to the world, a girl stubbornly sticking to the first reason she managed to find for living. again, just like light, she is a character that never grants herself the ability to truly grow up, stuck in the same childish, immature cycles of thinking and methods of presentation she came up with when her life first failed to end. a tragedy in her own right, unable to even remember the face of the one being that genuinely loved her at the moment of her own true death.

born on christmas, dead on valentines. how fitting.

[kitamars]

how can you drop a heavy burden if it's holding you up as well

[dropthedemiurge]

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo is fascinating, fascinating story. Complicated one, with flawed characters and complex emotions and themes.

Just 2 episodes ago I was rooting for Juyoung and Dohoe and thought they were perfect for together, and now I think they won't work out this way at all - and isn't it the great portrayal of first teenage puppy love versus adult relationships?

It's fascinating. I don't think is BL is bad at all, despite me having more complicated feelings about Dohoe now, and there are many details that can be interesting to poke around and discuss with other tumblr folks. Also I think the time gap was really needed and made a lot of sense, in case some people still doubt, it was clearly shown.

And still, I sigh. I had one short thought that might be they really should just let go and move on, and this will be their happy ending, but I know Juyoung and Dohoe aren't easily torn apart.

But also the burden on their necks and above their heads are way, way too heavy, and can't be just put aside like a cross necklace.

Fascinating.

[icewindandboringhorror]

indeed my exact process once every 8 months or so

[coldshrugs]

countdown to dawntrail - io laithe

our song of hope, she dances on the wind higher, oh, higher

individual posts: ARR • HW • SB • SHB • ENW • DT

[thegreatyin]

scoundrel?? what scoundrel???? the magnificent mr cards (who ironically has more of a flower aesthetic going on) is completely unrelated to any "bandaged scoundrels" running around the neath. in fact it's never heard of the word scoundrel ever in its entire definitely long definitely ancient life. but yknow, hypothetically, if it did know the scoundrel, it's confident that they're really really really handsome and cool and epic and they're almost just as amazing as it is and you should totally donate all your valuables to them and stuff

aaand because i like them too much, have a transparent version. the Creachure. the Thing, even.

[ruvviks]

hard to believe that the whole story starts because yancey got cheated on by his girlfriend of several years

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @roseeway, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;

@kanos, @swordcoasts, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @strafethesesinners;

@mnwlk

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

[patchworkcuddlebug]

Jettison

[This story contains graphic violence, death, and heavy emotions.]

It's been another long day. The Night Witch's manor is so sprawling and cavernous, a reflection of her growing arcane might. Even with the army of dolls she's amassed, it can be a struggle to attend to everything that ought to be done. And this one is just a single doll.

It puts the mop back in its place after draining the liquid and wiping the bucket clean. It looks across the hardwood of the lower floor of Miss's basement library. It can hear the shelves crackling and popping as the ever so slowly stretch outward, magically making room for Miss's growing collection.

This one really hopes it didn't miss a spot this time. It wants to be a good doll.

It walks a memorized route through the sprawling hallways, fighting off fatigue to keep its footsteps from being too loud. It watches around for other dolls, sure not to get in anyone's way after its last warning. Especially not Miss.

It finally reaches the dormitory, where Stella waits for it. That one is politely stood outside this one's door, its eyes lighting up as soon as it notices the approach.

It can't wait, running up to this one and wrapping its arms tightly around it. "This one missed you! Sorry that one got put on library duty again, it doesn't know why that keeps happening."

This one's mood instantly improves as it hugs the other doll back, helpless to stop the smile spreading across its face. "It was the worst, but it's finally over. Thanks for always being here."

Stella hops away from the hug, arms still around this one's shoulders. "Of course! That one is the best thing about this hell hole."

This one can't help but flinch away. It agrees, it knows it does, but there's still a visceral feeling of wrongness to acting out against Miss. It's what bad dolls do. But... Stella can't be bad. It's perfect.

The dolls sit on the floor, leaning against the wall. They talk about all they can. Idle gossip about the actions of the other dolls, more exotic tea flavours they'd like to try together someday, and...

"This one wants to go somewhere sunny." Stella looks off towards the opposite wall. This one can tell it's imagining the tropical vista, the smell of the sea and the caress of the breeze. "It knows the sand would be a bit of a pain to clean out of its joints, but... maybe it'll find a Miss that can clean them out." With a reserved sigh, that one's smile got just a little more sombre.

This one leaned just a bit to the side, letting its shoulder touch against Stella's. "Honestly, this one doesn't care where it ends up. Even if it dies, it just wants a break." Its voice was casual, with just enough seriousness to be meaningful.

Stella turns to face this one, clearly concerned. "Luna, please don't say that. This one don't know what it'd do without that one."

Stella's sadness burns, like staring into the sun. It shares the very same sentiment. "Sorry, that one's right. It promises to stay alive."

"That one better." Stella slips a hand down to the ground, placing it just on top of the one this one was using to support itself. It feels warm. "This one promises, someday, it'll get better. Just hold on for a little bit longer, and-"

"Freeze"

They freeze.

The Night Witch makes herself known. Her steps are almost weightless, concealing herself at almost all time, unless she seeks to intimidate bad dolls. Every step up the stairs to the doll's chambers is more thunderous than the last.

She crouches down in front of the pair, still paused in idle chatter. "I've told you things time, and time, and time again. It's night time. You're meant to sleep. I can't stand your voices polluting my domain."

Miss sighs, trying to wipe the frustration from her eyes. "I've had it. It's clear that you're too simple to learn."

Miss touches a single finger to Stella's chest, and it begins to rot. The rust crawls along the surface in a way totally alien to porcelain, as if it's eating through something much more organic.

The last of its breastplate falls away, leaving an advanced and interweaving nest of magical clockwork completely exposed. With a slow and deliberate hand, Miss reaches out and wraps her grasp around Stella's core.

She begins to squeeze.

Stella twitches, failing to obey as the brass starts to slowly bend. This one's gaze is locked forward. It wants to turn, to hold Stella, to help it. But it can only stare into The Night Witch's cold, cruel eyes. All it can do is feel that one's hand, desperately tightening, trying to find support, and outlet, any kind of help.

It winces, unable to keep itself steady, folding around the grip as its existence starts to falter. It feels the light animating it start to fade and sputter, its vision fading. It's breathing, a desperate remnant of its humanity.

There's a sickening crunch as the metal shreds. This one feels a pulse through the air as the magic contained inside dissipates uselessly. Stella's body clatters to the side as Miss removes her hand, loudly smashing against the floor.

She turns to this one. "You're all more trouble than you're worth. You know that, right? Respond."

"Yes Miss." Instant, reflexive, obedient.

All she can do is scoff dismissively. "Clean up the mess. Make sure to tell the others what happened tonight. And if you don't report to me the second you see someone pulling this shit again, you die with them. Respond."

"Yes Miss."

The witch stood up, turning and leaving without another word.

This one's body collapsed. It clutched its chest, trying to soothe the ache it felt in its soul, a heaviness anchoring it to its emotions stronger than anything it ever felt as a person.

It heaves its weak body over Stella's porcelain shell. It supports itself with its elbows, hair dropping into its face, as it stares into the broken toy. Gears still tumble out of place uselessly, falling into a loose pile at the bottom of that one's naked torso. Its core is tangled into scrap, the imprint of Miss's hand clear in the wreckage.

Its face is emotionless. Its eyes are empty, mouth agape. Finally, it can be still. This one grabs its hand again, finally holding it back, interlocking their fingers. It tightens its grip as loosely as it can, terrified of hurting that one further.

This one wants to cry. Please, something, anything to prove that it's mourning. It needs to feel the release, the catharsis of having its tears stain the slacking face of the only thing to ever show it affection. It wants to scream, telling it how much it mattered, how much it made this miserable existence bearable, how every day it survived so it could feel that one's love. Please. Anything.

It finally shakes itself, wrapping its arms around the body. It lifts with its legs, slinging the upper part of that one over its shoulder so it's easier to carry. It struggles for a second to open the manor's front door, encumbered. It stumbles out, setting the body as gently as it can with the other trash meant for disposal.

Good doll.

[light-kun]

Idk if you know or care, but I just found out true elision updated after all these years 😭

I can't believe it's finally updated after all this time!! I need to get down to reading it soon. Let me know if you have any thoughts!

[jonsaremembers]

help!!

Send me art that reminds you of Dan and Phil Crafts!

Does not have to be actual phanart.