#very very specific triggers
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It’s not unlike a song you vaguely remember. Samples of lyrics without the melody, or an instrumental without its name. It’s there, tucked far back in the recesses of your mind -- a feeling that’s floating beyond the fringes of recollection. You viscerally know it, but you can’t identify it. Whatever’s missing... it’s sitting there on the tip of your tongue.
If Joshua could just remember, maybe his head would stop aching from his relentless mental gnashing.
He has no idea that he’s forgotten what made he and Neku so unique; he’ll never know just how deep a bond they’d cultivated, and how much potential their relationship had. Neku’s influence has left imprints on Joshua’s Soul, long after he’s gone. In Joshua’s mind, Neku’s forging a life elsewhere. Neku had chose the city, and in doing so had saved him. Was there really need for anything else? He had no right to want anything more from him. Still...
It’s within the dreamscape that Joshua leverages infinite Imagination to explore what could have been, oblivious to the fact that he’s actually reliving what had been. What you don’t know can’t hurt you, after all.
Unbeknownst to Joshua, his love for Neku will remain a lost tune he’ll always be humming.
#hc#/ ig i'll tag this#drabble#basically joshua gets these lil ticks triggered by neku interactions#very very specific triggers#that give him next level deja vu#no fukn idea he used to be very involved w his own world's#but his memory's been wiped if that wasn't made apparent enough#all he knows is he and his were kind of like circumstantial friends w benefits and then neku left shibuya
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tarpit site.
#personal#delete later#for context a tweet i made in the middle of the night blew the fuck up and brought the attention of anime fans who've been#harassing and hassling me about my big factual blunder for an entire day straight#“ok i'll apologize” “bro it's not that serious.”#“you're right it's not that serious“ ”why won't you just admit that you're wrong and apologize!“#i'm not going crazy right. i feel like i'm getting manipulated into thinking i must've been wrong#it's crazy how twitter hate will trick you into believing saying something someone else disagrees with is a moral failing#sorry i haven't seen frieren i guess but what's it to you. i wasn't making a claim or statement#also because nobody has gotten this in the original post i wasn't talking about the quality of animation i'm talking about solid drawing#which is a very specific principle of animation. dandandan has really good solid drawing wherein all the characters are animated#with realistic and proportional 3d depth. newsflash but trigger doesn't prioritize solid drawing in their animation and that's fine#it's an aesthetic choice and has ties to production limits. none of this is a big deal. this is all so stupid lol#i've dealt with worse and more annoying weebs though it's fine i'll put on my clown nose twitter needs their stupid guy for the day#oh btw at the end of the day this doesn't matter. it'll be over by tomorrow. all that's happening is petty angry emotions.#so please don't involve yourself by jumping into the argument and prolonging this shit#i'm about to go on a date with tulli after being apart for a month this is the furtherest thing from my mind rn
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are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid
#that's the hottest thing I've ever heard I feel nuts#what an absolute chad alistair continues to be tbh there may be a day when men fail but it will not be when he's here#like I'm very sorry to the blond chantry boy repeat crowd but cullen could & would NEVER!!! they are NOT the same!!!!#dragon age#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#alistair x warden#can u imagine what it must be like to be irving standing there watching this happen. you're free and your kid is dead. congrats#tried to free her from the circle and she's the sacrificial lamb that bought the circle's freedom instead. fuck dude#it does make for a very sad kind of symmetry that every time irving tries to get clever with it he triggers a monkey's paw situation fhdskj#I am replaying the game with my new canon (mistress amell + king alistair to save him from the da:i fade choice lol)#and in doing research I found out about this and had my world rocked. I've never had my warden die before so this is new to me#(my warden isn't dying in this canon to be clear she's going to be the reason no one would dare assassinate king alistair lol#nightmare bae eminance gris behind the throne/loving and supportive partner with a fade connection and a vengeful side#she's going to be like sam vimes tiredly fending off assassins as the watch books go on except she murders a lot more people back)#the way his voice breaks in the version where they were broken up tho... sick and twisted and mean to me specifically
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i deserve a spider-woman nepal..... miles doesn't have to be the only teen spider with a terrible bisexual mentor (enter my own sketches of the world's most annoying spiderperson, who i fling towards pavitr, complete with a design that's subject to change)
#geeta methodically puts on all her jewelery before going out as spiderwoman <3 u cant fight crime if u are not cute#spidersona#of sorts? i think but everyone should have expected this from me. there was no way sony was going to give me spiderman india#and not receive spiderwoman nepal (THE KATHMANHATTAN JOKE IS TOO EASY) in response#im tackling south asian unity one spidersona at a time!#pavitr prabhakar#spiderman#my art#also ofc one specific mention to demigod-of-the-agni who inadvertently triggered my actual posting of geeta#who was just supposed to stay in my psd files forever.....#mythic mumbattan au my beloved. hindu mythology my beloved. genuinely so so cool to see and it enabled me being self indulgent on this blog#for some extra context: im very much still workshopping her and me and my nepali friend were drawing her tgt#as in she would say something and i would hurriedly scribble/sketch it down#and then i kept kinda building on it. ofc i could not resist being inspired by the comics noirverse#so here she's also gifted her powers by a goddess (durga!!!!!) and almost works w her like a much less deranged moon knight. yeah...#don't look too closely at these pls . the design/sketching/etc is kind of everywhere#edit: forgot to adjust colors so theyre up again and a little more vibrant nyeow....
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teen wolf meme: [5/5] motifs -> pain
It still hurt! And that's what keeps you human- pain.
#teen wolf#lieam dunbar#lydia martin#scott mccall#erica reyes#kira yukimura#theo raeken#twedit#twgifs#mine#my gifs#twmeme#you guys didn't think i forgot the most important of all the teen wolf motifs did you#like i think it's undeniable that pain is the the throughline for the entire show in a lot of different ways#like there's obviously the pain makes you human aspect#but also the pain will trigger healing in shapeshifters#as well as the were-creatures being able to take away other people's pain#it's actually soooo very interesting to look at how pain is utilised as a motif in the show#cause all of these are things which bring with it a perceived positive#like the person inflicting pain on themselves either overtly or covertly will bring a sort of net good#by perceiving pain the werewolf can stay human they can accelerate their healing or they can take away pain from another living being#which of course links back specifically to how self inflicted injuries are seen throughout the show which i did a meta post a few months ag#even lydia who isn't a shapeshifter is seen injuring herself in season two when she's losing control of herself because of peter#what i'm trying to say is that the idea of pain making you human etc. is an idea that transcends shapeshifters in the show
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you'll see them again !
too many thoughts and things done with Intent to fully explain myself . partially bc this was supposed to be much much longer, but i think i would like to play more in the space of post-game loop.
#finallyw finished the game . i'm dunking them into the primordial soup ^.^#before i forget#isat spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#anyways . i created a very specific analogy of how the universe and the big bang Works when i was 8 and i will never shut up about it#whatever space our universe inhabits Was like a completely still lake and the big bang was something disturbing the surface.#our universe expands and will eventually run out of energy like a ripple on that lake#regardless of how their world Actually works . i think that something like that would be a popular belief in sif's country#vague idea rolling around . loop fades or is like . Somewhere Between. siffrin's unintentional rituals keep them around#something triggers them to properly exist again (i promise there are themes here) and they wash up on the shore of vauguarde#they are especially malleable for a little bit . kind of going through craft metamorphosis . they are given a place to stay for a while#there is more but these tags are already ridiculously long . someone talk to me abt them before i go nuts#frogart#m
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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Proved me right when you proved them wrong.
Inspired from - Sweeter than Fiction by Taylor Swift
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@naegiriweek day 4 - Lyrical 🎶
#this song is literally about them specifically makoto <3#i recommend it it's a very good song ;)#naegiri#naegiri week#naegiri week 2023#danganronpa#makoto naegi#naegi makoto#kirigiri kyoko#kyoko kirigiri#naegi x kirigiri#ダンガンロンパ#digital art#my art#dr#drthh#danganronpa trigger happy havoc#danganronpa 3#dr3#danganronpa thh#crescentm00n_art#please click for better quality!!!
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✨Furor✨
and some annotations from the Aeneid bc we finished it in class
#This is specifically in book 2 when he sees Helen and tries to kill her and has to be stopped#Furor being triggered by a violation of pietas amirite#I love when aeneas dissociates and commits atrocities#He’s very human idk with like a strong sense of duty that no one will let him forget#Like no one will let him just stop and breathe for a second yknow#Until he’s just the perfect killing machine with a one track mind#Poor guy#the aeneid#aeneas#greek mythology#mythology art#My art
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So, first off, this is not an attempt to kink shame (dubcon and noncon are great!) but I do keep seeing a thing in fics (I do NOT see this irl in kink spaces nearly as often) where like. A character will interrupt the flow of the scene to check consent
And I don't mean in an "are we still green?" Or "what's your color?" kind of way, but I mean. The author has tagged the fic and indicated via prose and/or author notes that they are doing their Due Diligence to make sure this fic is Righteously Consensual from top to bottom, No Question About It
And a character will ask for full sexual consent either directly or indirectly or renegotiate the boundaries of the kinks being practiced AFTER the sex acts have already begun.
Here's the thing: horny brain isn't great at making decisions! irl in kink spaces, there's often a lot of emphasis on negotiating BEFORE the scene begins, perhaps even with a space between negotiation and the scene if it's with a new/unfamiliar partner (maybe it's a few minutes while things are set up, maybe the partners negotiate a day or more in advance! It depends!), and not changing the parameters of the scene after someone is already horny or god forbid already in subspace.
Again, these are perfectly fine rules to break in fiction, when the author is aware of it (most characters are not going to be fully familiar with safe, sane, consensual practices and the traffic light system, nor would we want them to be!) but I'm increasingly finding fics where the author DOESN'T seem aware, which takes a normal fic (in-character, with reasonable but perhaps even somewhat dubious practices, which the author isn't emphasizing or preaching about) into Red Flag Territory (a character, OOC, yanking me out of the scene to behave like a PSA about consent instead of conforming to the horny tone of the scene, and perpetuating unsafe practices anyway)
If you are writing a master manipulator or someone who wants to have a gotcha, you totally said it was okay on a character they are trying to bone (which is well in the realm of non/dubcon) that's fine! This PSA is not aimed at you. But if you are trying to write someone who Cares Strongly About Consent, then perhaps be more aware of when is an appropriate time to escalate the situation (sexually speaking) or ask for consent!
#like you don't see this shit in the sex pollen tag!#those folks know exactly what they're doing and they're having a great time#and i don't want to call anyone out specifically because like. this is a multi fandom issue#and i see it mostly in fiction space#written by people who are probably not active in their local kink community#but i did just see a really egregious and specific example which triggered this rant I've been sitting on for a WHILE#like. people who are writing heat fics also typically know! if the sub is gagging for any phallus it's not the time to ask for consent!#they're well past that point!!!#it's the fics in between that think they're doing uwu soft romance with a bit of spice#that don't know how to warn for shit and make me very concerned for their safe sex practices in the future#this is 10000% more egregious if you DO write a character who is keenly aware of SSC practices#if your character goes to kink dungeons or has opinions about the traffic light system#they probably should know not to fuck with renegotiating mid scene#this has been a psa
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thinking of kon & mary shelley’s frankenstein. specifically thinking of this paragraph of frankenstein:
"His limbs were in proportion, and I had selected his features as beautiful. Beautiful! Great God! His yellow skin scarcely covered the work of muscles and arteries beneath; his hair was of a lustrous black, and flowing; his teeth of a pearly whiteness; but these luxuriances only formed a more horrid contrast with his watery eyes, that seemed almost of the same colour as the dun-white sockets in which they were set" -- Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus (1818)
& the reign of supermen movie, which gave kon very pale — almost inhumanly pale — eyes. thinking of how in the movie it’s bc it was lex’s eye colour & his eyes are just like that, apparently, but how it could have easily also been a quirk of the cloning process. thinking of how in his first origin, he wasn’t even a true clone of superman, but instead human genetic material twisted & reshaped to imitate superman — to (re)create the perfect man. thinking of a superboy made to be beautiful — well, made to be superman but, i mean, have you seen the guy? so same thing — and he is beautiful but there’s also something… off. something about all the different parts that don’t quite come together. thinking of a superboy with inhumanly pale eyes, who learns not to take his sunglasses off because if he does suddenly everyone starts acting weird. thinking of a superboy who eventually gets his hands on some contact lenses and finally has superman's sky blue eyes. thinking of a superboy with something that marks him as not human — worse, not real — and who doesn't understand what it is or why for ages, and when he does learn does anything to hide it. thinking of a superboy with a horrid contrast.
#kon-el#conner kent#kon triggering the uncanny valley in people#(i also like kryptonians in general triggering the uncanny valley but for this specifically it has to be a kon-only thing)#i love kon's eyes in the movie#originally this was written in the form of a (very short) timkon-ish fic. which maybe ill post later. we shall see#frankenstein's monster ily & u deserved better#kon 🤝 frankenstein = science experiments who deserved so much better#giving characters more angst is a love language
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The thing that really sucks about triggers is how unpredictable they can be. I honestly never anticipated this, and every time I experienced an emotional flashback or whatever, I never recognized it as a trigger because I didn't know what to look for. I think so many (including myself) have or had a homogenized idea of what triggers are, what they're allowed to be, and what they look like, and it's doing us all such a great disservice. Triggers are very much an individual experience, and the things that can be triggers are highly personal, or contextual, or might not "make sense" to those outside the person experiencing the trigger.
What I always want people to do is to be mindful of the things that spark the sense of "being back," or, in essence, a trigger. This is because when you start learning more about triggers, you can often start to learn how to identify triggering environments and how to go about being triggered. This is often an individual process simply because there isn't a "right" way to go about trauma and/or triggers, but I think it's a better outlook.
#trauma#recovery#triggers#i've been thinking about this because i discovered a specific trigger and it really caught me off-guard#and it's one of those triggers that you can't avoid and it isn't *anybody's* fault (including your own) if you are triggered#i think those triggers do suck and i don't blame others for having those types of triggers#but it really recontextualized how i see/interact with triggers#because i usually had avoidable ones - not engaging with very specific/rare occurrences#it really sucks sometimes to discover and *re*discover how hurt you are but i think it can be very beneficial to work through#ask to tag (genuine)
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the way some people straight up have no respect for asou's writing is actually kind of insane to me 😭 like youre a fan of HIS manga, but you outwardly express your disregard for the intentions he had when writing....... disregarding canon can be super duper funsies and cool sometimes, but to straight up say "i dont care what he intended and think my headcanons are more canon than what he wrote because i think he wrote it badly/he sucks at writing this dynamic/i dont like the ship (or whatever) he was trying to imply" is literally just insanely disrespectful IN MY OPINION 😖
i think maybe im just annoyed at how badly people misuse the words "canon", "coded", and "implied" (which im also guilty of occasionally- especially when i first came here) cuz like... "i choose not to acknowledge this thing that is canon or technically canon or implied" is fine (usually). "i know what the author intended but i dont like it or care, so im going to call my headcanon/ship canon and anyone who disagrees is disregarding canon and is stupid because i said so" is NOT fine... ☠️☠️☠️
#where did you guys learn fandom etiquette#OR ETIQUETTE IN GENERAL ?? CUZ WDYM 'ur bad at writing and my opinion is better than the actual source material lolZ'#not caring about canon or implied ships is fine but straight up being like#'well i like this ship better so im gonna say he just sucks at writing romance lol' is WEIRD#'he sucks at writing romance therefore my ship is more canon than the one he actually intended'#like what... ok..?#that is actually just straight up the opposite of what canon means... but ok...#critiquing his writing or expressing an opinion is very different from just disregarding and disrespecting the intentions he wrote it with#this isn't specifically about ships btw but its the best example i have of this#not targetted btw#this post is triggered by multiple things i saw on tiktok and reddit and maybe on here a while ago#dont really remember#also heres your obligatory 'u can do whatever u want but im allowed to call u out as rude if ur rude'#so nobody comes into my replies crying about how im not allowed to be annoyed at them for being annoying#do what u want it literally doesnt matter but u cant be an ass online and expect everyone else to just be silent#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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Wait, so to clarify two things:
1. Crossiant had a childhood best friend, but thanks to Hag Shenanigans they’ve not only entirely forgotten said best friend, but aren’t aware they ever had a childhood best friend in the first place?
2. …Did Shadowheart just sacrifice her parents to be freed from Shar? (I’ve never actually seen that cutscene, but I’m pretty sure that’s what just happened there.)
Correct!
2. Correct! (That's the caveat, she can sacrifice her parents to break free of Shar's curse, or she can free them and live with of pain Shar's curse forever. It's a very heartbreaking scene, if you're not playing the game and able to see it yourself I'd recommend looking it up.)
#I would like to write/draw more about Croissant's situation but I'm still waffling on the details#To them it feels kind of like a hole in their memory#like when you've forgotten something right as you were about to say it#certain things can trigger an emotional response but ultimately Croissant doesn't remember this person or their experiences in any capacity#and so has no idea why they feel this way in the moment (usually crying)#it's a very specific type of grief if this all makes any sense lol#thank you for asking!#bg3 spoilers#act III spoilers#asks#croissant lore#it's all in the tags but we'll still put it here lmao
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there's a certain misery in watching a cop show trying to be progressive prevented from ever reaching that goal by its very nature; an irony not only in the show itself, as it is built upon the oppression it tries to comment on and therefore restricted in whatever message it attempts to convey by the established status quo being unable to be changed, but in the viewer, who continues to watch and even hope despite knowing the show can never reach the ideals it presents. i am tantalus in the pool. a tragedy worthy of the greeks.
#this wasnt necessarily triggered by anything specific i just always have very strong thoughts about mm all the time#me at any given moment: canadian period drama murder mystery show murdoch mysteries is indicative of the current state of society!#me also: anyways let me watch these bastards be funny.#murdoch mysteries
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Still frustrates me that ppl dont know what trigger means (and if u agree with this post im probably talking about u)
#its actually a very broad term and includes everything u keep saying isnt being triggeref#because its not a strictly defined term and never has been#everyone has been grabbing at it to use it when convenient for decades#if u mean trauma trigger specifically then just say that#if u mean ptsd trigger then say that#and stop arguing about what counts and what doesnt#because youre wrong and wasting your time#word of god#and yes triggers can just be something that makes u angry
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