#very important reminder 👀
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rocktheholygrail · 4 months ago
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Hannibal (2013-2015)
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megagrind · 3 months ago
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Michael vey book 10 delayed two months. What’s the politically correct way to say I’m killing myself
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viewerspookyhappenings · 7 months ago
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okay buckle up chuckle fucks here is everything i remember from tonight (absolutely missing some stuff)
- before dan comes on he introduces himself over the speaker stating that he asked phil to do it and phil said no because he didn’t want to be sat behind a curtain for an hour
- dan comes on stage and stands in the big church plinth thing (iconic)
- he tells a story about how he went to a&e the day before yesterday because he had sore eyes. says phil was trying to get him to put eye drops in but he was being very dramatic so whilst on the phone to 111 phil knelt over him lying on the bathroom floor holding his eyes open to put drops in. dan then went to hospital to check it and everything’s fine (lol) he just needed some special eyedrops. phil did not accompany him and dan had to cross a dual carriageway on his own whilst not being able to see well (i doubt he will ever let it go)
- here is a diagram i drew on the way home to depict said event
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- it is also giving this
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- spoke about the butt chair. union chapel said they did not have any furniture for him to borrow so he had to bring his own - he bought the butt chair from his bedroom and a lil plant to decorate. said phil carried the plant to the car but made dan get the chair in the uber and then said “okay have fun at work sweetie” (this was said jokey but we died nonetheless)
- he then talks about pissyourselffordan trending and how he had to explain to harper collins what the actual fuck was happening on stan twt. apparently they were glad the fans were supportive and he has an engaged audience but they were not going to use the hashtag in the promo. called the whole scenario pissgate and the crowd chanted piss at him
- he was told there was wine and advertised wine before realising alcohol was not allowed in the church. he then got given a sprite and everyone screamed that it was piss
- talked about the book and the previous release, how weird covid was, talked about the photoshoot for the book cover and the graphic design. said he didn’t love the pics because they were super dramatic. someone shouted “it’s cunty” he replies: “oh it’s cunty is it?” then realises he said cunty in a church which was a big lol
- he then read the new chapters, several mentions of phil not being supportive and abandoning him at the hospital (he talked about phil a lot it was very sweet)
- then brought out dan’s slit (box used to put questions in before the show)
- the questions i can remember include but are not limited to:
- what was the weirdest position you wrote the book in: “cheeks out in an armchair curled up over my laptop, you might think your scrolling posture is okay now but when you hit thirty you will all be broken”
- fave comfort show: “the office - is the office a bit millennial? it isn’t as millennial as friends. ross being offended by a manny? that’s where my internalised homophobia is from”
- how has the gaming channel affected your mental health? A: he is finding it a lot more sustainable than before because of help with editing, but will see where it goes
- will he ever judge drag race: he didn’t want to when he was asked because he didn’t want to be exposed to more speculation about his sexuality at the time, same with strictly come dancing
- how do you cope with feeling lonely whilst surrounded by people: talked about how online friends are truly real friends and distance doesn’t have to determine friendship levels. says it is important to notice the friendships even that aren’t close
- i can’t remember the question but he said that phil has to remind him of some of the stuff that is in ywgttn when he struggles “i literally learnt the word catastrophising from your book dan come on”
- another tour? “do you guys want that” *screaming* “what would it be?” *dan and phil games screams* “well 👀👀”
- are we going to get more sister daniel: *everyone loses their minds* “maybe i should have done it for the church but it is far too exposing under the spotlight”
- did you work in the asda in Lower Earley: “what in the baby reindeer? yes i did”
- then went to the insta questions that were too inappropriate for the audiobook including
- piss
- will you wear wigs
- when will you wear wigs
- how long is your big toe “six centimetres - i don’t have a big toe im just a long person”
- pee pee poo poo time
- what were the other names for the book: “you will get through this was a bit cliche, you will get through this night? she is sexy and mysterious. at first we wanted to call it “you are messed up read this to fix your issues” but then realised the book was more serious in tone after it was finished so went with ywgttn instead”
- i genuinely can’t remember most of these i think i dissociated a lil at this point if anyone remembers please add
- then read the author’s note at the end of the paper back, talking about how lockdown impacted him and was a big scary thing and also how incredible it is to see people recommend it, find it useful, have therapists recommend it etc. “it is an honour to have created this”
- took a selfie with everyone
- someone gave him a bouquet of flowers and he said “aww you guys are so gay”
- then said “if you enjoyed seeing me in person
 i’ll see you again very soon”
this is everything i remember off the top of my head so people please feel free to add what i have forgotten!!
and here are all the pics i got!!
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ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused · 7 months ago
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You asked for Spencer Reid and Reader requests, particularly plus size, and I am so down bad for that man! Especially later seasons him.
Could I have one where he and the reader are intellectual peers but also enemies? Like she's on the team and just as wicked smart as him and into old literature and languages but they constantly butt heads? And the team knows they really just have feelings for each other, but they'll never admit it. Maybe the reader admits it to Penelope or someone one night drinking that he's hot but she never thought he'd actually sleep with her bc she's fat, but she'll take his attention any way she can get it. Maybe Spencer overhears and proceeds to show her just how hot he finds her arguing with him? 👀 Thank you in advance, girlie!
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— pairing: spencer reid x plus size!reader
— summary: you and spencer hate each other, that much is obvious... right?
— warnings: very surprisingly crude language in this, self-doubt, implied insecurities, misunderstandings, e2l, they're in love and everyone else knows besides them, i made them dorks i don't apologize, mentions of wet dreams, mentions of male masturbation, dirty thoughts, kissing, stripping, vaginal fingering, spencer's dirty mouth, lots of reassurance 'cause i'm a sap, spencer reid #1 consent king, missionary, unprotected sex, sex god spencer?!?! (he does his research), pleasure dom!spencer, switch r & spencer, heavy praise, and a fluffy ending to tie this all up in a nice little bow!
— wc: 3136
⋆ a/n: okay i do admit that this is RIDICULOUSLY long, but i knew exactly what i was getting into writing this and honestly i had so much fun! i don't think i've ever created such characters that have so much chemistry with each other, so cheers to that! (unedited unfortunately :[)
masterlist | AO3
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As soon as you hear Spencer’s voice, you make a point to groan obnoxiously loud.
“And just to think I would be able to go home without a headache today.” 
You could feel the glare from said man burning a hole in the back of your head, so you swivel your chair around in order to face the music – in a pleasurable masochist kind of way. His annoyingly handsome face was twisted up in irritation – much to your glee – his eyebrows turned down, and his perfect, plush lips pulled into a deep frown. 
You could tell you had interrupted him saying something that he deemed important, most likely a fact that you and him would go back and forth on, and you couldn’t be more pleased with yourself.
“Funny you mention that seeing as though your voice is the cause of mine.” He bit back, his eyes narrowed into slits. “Aw, you think of my voice?” You tease. “Only in my nightmares.” You wink at him. “You still think about me.”.
“You know what this reminds me of?” Luke piped up from his own desk, drawing the attention from your other intrigued co-workers in the bullpen. “Oh here we go.” Tara said in amusement at Luke’s rambling.
“Back when I was a kid there was this girl that I went to school with, and I would always tug on her hair or try to trip her,” His voice was almost reminiscent. “Everyone thought I hated her, when in reality I was just trying to get her attention.”
“Ah,” Matt said with a smile, “The classic ‘boy bullying the girl he likes,’ or in this case, it’s the girl this time.” Your cheeks began to heat and your eyes went wide, Spencer’s own face and the tips of his ears turning an admirable pink hue.
“Absolutely not -”
“What? No -”
Both Spencer and you stumbled over each other to try and defend yourself, but you didn’t have a chance because Emily’s voice cut through whatever was about to be said next, the woman making haste from her office and into the room with the round table.
“Alright you guys, enough. We’ve got a case.”
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“To a job well done!” Penelope cheered as she held up her citrusy alcoholic beverage in the air, signaling she wanted to toast.
You smiled indulgently at the woman sitting next to you, clinking your glass with hers noisily and flickering your eyes over to where a disheveled Spencer Reid sat. You didn’t say anything to him though, because you’re a big ol’ softie and like to let the boy wonder rest before you have him back on his toes.
His eyes met yours the same time your glasses collided. You wish you could say that the vibrations from the clinking was the cause of the shiver that forced its way down your spine, but you knew better. 
It was like the rest of the bar disappeared, the sound of the others joining in on your rejoicing fell on deaf ears. You could have sworn his dark brown puppy-dog eyes drank you in before he looked away and cleared his throat, taking a rather comically large gulp of his water.
Your eyelashes fluttered like a thousand butterflies wings as you rushed to drink your own beverage.
“Okay, what was that!?” You felt Penelope’s finger poke at your ribs before you actually heard her. 
“Ow - fuck! What was what?” You yelped quietly, your hand reaching down to bat away her stabbing digits. “The - the -” She fought to portray her words before her face lit up when she found the correct ones, “The eyefucking!” 
Your stomach erupted in butterflies, “Eyefucking? What eyefucking?” You asked with a scoff, hiding your blush behind the rim of your mug. 
“Oh, please, don’t give me that.” It was Penelope’s turn to scoff at you. “Everybody knows that you and Spencer like each other.” She said it almost like it was a fact, leaning forward to take a smug sip of her drink through the miniature black straw.
Spencer knew listening in on Penelope and your conversation was inappropriate; but in his defense, you guys weren’t really quiet about what you were talking about.
“I -” He heard you begin, “It’s one-sided.” Was all you said before draining your beer. “So you admit it!” Penelope exclaimed with a gasp.
Spencer felt his eyes go wide at her words, but there was this desperate feeling that spread throughout his body; one that caused his fingers to twitch and the hair stand up on the back of his neck.
“When you put it like that it sounds childish!” You complained slightly, biting at the meat of your lip. “I
 I’m just not his type you know? Like - you know better than anyone that guys don’t pay attention to girls like us, so you have to learn to improvise.” You were cringing at your own words, but the liquid in your cup was enough to loosen your tongue and lower your inhibitions.
“Was me choosing to constantly argue with him the smartest way to try and peak his interest? No, but I knew he liked a challenge and well
 it definitely wasn’t the proudest conclusion I ever came to, but what was I supposed to do? It isn’t like Spencer would date me let alone actually want to sleep with me.”
Spencer wanted to argue with you about how wrong you were, to tell you about every thought he’d ever had about you.
He wanted to tell you about how much you frustrate him, how at first, he thought he hated you and it took him an embarrassingly long time to realize he hated how badly he wanted you; hated how many dirty dreams he had included you and that plush body of yours. He’d wondered how soft you were, how you smelled and tasted. 
Did your moans and whines sound as enchanting as your laugh? Did your eyes twinkle the same way when you were about to cum? 
Those thoughts kept him up at night and his hands in his pants, stroking himself to his unlimited imagination all revolved around you. Those were the days that he was more prone to pick fights with you, mostly because he was embarrassed, ashamed, and quite frankly plain ol’ horny.
Spencer thought you were just so sexy, especially when he had managed to light that fire under your ass that really got you going. He wasn’t a sadist or a masochist by any means, but he loved when you yelled at him. So, for you to think so lowly of yourself it almost drove him mad because you didn’t know.
But you were going to.
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You were going to kill whoever was bothering you on your day off.
The knocking was unexpected, but so was who was responsible for the noise.
“Spencer?” You asked in surprise. 
Usually you were prepared for your exchanges with the man, but if your pajamas were anything to go by, you were anything but. Spencer felt his mouth go dry at the sight of your tits sitting braless in a thin undershirt, your soft tummy slightly straining against the cotton material and a pair of shorts that look like they were practically strangling your thighs.
The only thing he could really say was
 “Do you know how infuriating you are?”
Your eyebrows furrowed and you crossed your arms over your chest, and little did you know the action pressed the tops of your breasts over the hemline. “Excuse me?” You almost scoffed, “Please don’t tell me you came all the way here just to argue with me.”
“No I - fuck just let me finish.” This was not how he wanted this to go. You looked like you wanted to say something but your curiosity made you choose to stay silent.
“Do you know why you’re so infuriating?” He asked, taking a tentative but careful step towards you. “Because you haunt my every living thought. I see you when I’m awake, I see you when I’m asleep. I can’t
 I can’t escape you! I can’t escape how I feel about you.”
Your eyes were wide and your brows were furrowed; it looked like you almost couldn’t breathe.
“But you want to know the worst part?” His hand lands on your cheek and his thumb gently caresses the skin there. “You have the audacity to think that I wouldn’t want you.” 
“You want me?” You asked in disbelief. “But I
 but I thought you hated me? I mean - I haven’t been all that nice to you.” You attempt to joke weakly, but your body is on fire; your stomach is tangled up in knots. You were trembling in excitement at his words but in disbelief too.
“Do you have any idea how much I love arguing with you?”
You laughed at his words, your lips slipping into a small smirk as you threw your arms around his neck in an act of boldness. “Oh yeah?” You hummed seductively. “You wanna show me how much?”
“Yeah,” He replied breathlessly. “I do.”
And just like that his mouth was on yours and a long leg shot out behind him to shut your front door. The slam made you yelp, but it quickly melted into a giggle against his lips when he reconnected them.
Spencer tugged you closer to him, and God the feeling of your body was so much better than anything his subconscious could have conjured up. You felt so soft and the front part of your torso pressed against his chest in a way that if he didn’t have you naked under him soon he was going to go crazy.
“Where’s your bedroom?” He didn’t want to pull away from you, but he wanted to do this right.
“I didn’t know you were a gentleman, Reid.” You teased with a dazed smile on your face. “There’s a lot of things that you don’t know about me.” You quirked a brow. “Oh really? How about you tell me?”
“Later,” He said with a lazy shake of his head, “Later.”
His hand reached down to cup your ass, your crotch rubbing on the large boner restrained by his pants. You moaned quietly at the feeling, and found yourself saying, “Down the hall and to the left.”
When you arrived, he couldn’t keep his hands off you; they grabbed at your back, ass, waist, hips. There was so much of you that he had no idea where to start. All he knew is that he wanted all of you right now.
“Can I take your shirt off, please?” His words almost came out as a whine and it welcomed a fresh wave of arousal in your panties. “Take off whatever you want, I’m yours.” A reassuring confession that Spencer had no idea he needed to hear. 
His lithe, veiny hands tugged at your top first, dragging it over your head and throwing it somewhere random. Your pants and panties were next to go and you couldn’t help but shiver at Spencer's intense stare.
“I’m uh- feeling a little vulnerable here, could you lose a layer or two?” 
The man blinked rapidly, his fingers shooting to undo the buttons on his cardigan. “Yes, yeah of course, sorry I -'' You grabbed the shaky digits. “Calm down, take it slow. I’m not going anywhere.” It was a light jab meant to ease his nerves. For a moment he looked unsure but you gave an encouraging smile.
After his clothes disappeared he held you by your waist, walking you backwards until your calves hit the bed. You quickly hurried to scale the mattress until your head hit the pillows.
“God,” Spencer gulped. “This is so much better than what I imagined.” You giggled slightly. “As much as I appreciate your flattery, I want you to fuck me. Now.” You said it with such simplicity that his eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets at your crudeness.
He swallowed his shock. “Whatever the lady wants.”
He hurried to crawl over your leaning body; you cup his cheek in an act of haste, dragging him down to lay on top of you. His own hands didn’t stop their determined trail, tracing the soft planes of your plush body until he reached your wet cunt.
You whine loudly at the feeling of Spencer’s fingers stroking your damp slit.
“So responsive.” He murmured with delighted smirk. You go to say something snarky but you’re quickly cut off when he begins to rub tight circles on your clit. “‘M sensitive.” You gasp against his lips, your back arching and pressing further into him.
His body falls to the side, laying next to your naked one with a cheek balanced on his fist. “I’m gonna make you cum on my fingers first,” Spencer whispers into your ear. His ring finger entered your warmth slowly and he felt himself choke on his words. You mewled, a hand shooting up to tangle in his long, curly hair, the other grabbed at his wrist.
“Then, I’m gonna make you cum on my cock.” After a few experimental twists of his wrist, his middle finger joins the first. Your breathing speeds up with every movement of his digits. 
“Afterwards, ‘m gonna clean you up and take you out to eat.” Your brain could barely process what he was saying, but every word that left his mouth added to the swarming butterflies in your gut – which felt so juvenile seeing as though he was already knuckle deep inside you.
“And when we get home, I’m gonna eat this sweet pussy for dessert.” 
Your eyelashes were fluttering rapidly, your hips moving frantically on his fingers in an attempt to try and get him deeper. Spencer must have sensed what you needed, because with a few firm swipes on your sensitive clit sent you spiraling over the edge.
“Spencer, Spencer, Spencer
 I - I -” Your gummy walls squeezed his digits, and the only thing keeping you grounded was the heat coming from his body.
“Wow.” You laughed breathlessly. “Wow indeed.” He mimics with the same amount of amusement.
“Are you okay to keep going?” He asks. 
“Are you kidding?” The look on his face was almost laughable, and you gave his naked chest an encouraging pat. “Hell yeah I’m good, how about you?”
“If I told you I could cum just from watching you, would you believe me?” You roll your eyes and snort. “We’ll find out later, loverboy. Get up here.”
He scrambles to get on top of you, but then stops. “Wait, wait,” He reaches behind your head and grabs a pillow. “Lift your hips up for me.” Your eyes go wide, because who in the fuck taught him that? Though you move a bit slowly through your surprise, he manages to get the soft thing under you, your lower back now elevated.
But all excitement dies out when he realizes there might be no protection, he looks like he could almost cry.
“It’s cool, Spence. I’m on the pill and I
 I haven’t had sex with anyone in an embarrassingly long time.” You admit shyly, your eyes casting to the side nervously. “I’m clean too. I don’t really remember the last time I’ve had sex either.” 
You guys make eye contact and erupt into a fit of giggles, “To relearning the art of sexual intercourse then.” Spencer scrunches his nose up at your wording, but you don’t give him any time to retort because you’ve already placed two hands on his face, tugging his head down to kiss your smile-split lips.
He takes the time to kiss you for a moment before reaching down to line his dick up to your entrance. You both shiver at the sensation. You guys disconnect your lips to watch him enter you, your foreheads pressed together and breaths mingled in anticipation.
You moaned in unison when he slowly but surely seethed himself in you fully, and your body tensed at the long awaited intrusion. “Gimme a sec.” You gulped. “Yeah, yeah, of course.” He panted.
You allowed yourself a moment to relax, brushing your fingers through his curls as a way to comfort Spencer as well. After taking a few more seconds to enjoy the raw, intimate moment between the two of you, you said, “Okay. Okay, I’m good.” 
Spencer licked his lips and rolled his hips tentatively, and your breath hitched. A string of whimpers were soon to follow with every drag of his cock against your sensitive inner walls, the leftovers of your previous orgasm leaving your body feeling electric.
Your mouth drops open into an ‘o’ shape when his tip brushes your g-spot.
“Right - right there Spence
good boy - fuck - good fucking boy.” 
The term of endearment was an accidental slip of the tongue, but it had frayed some nerve in his body, because the groan that left him was guttural and hungry.
“Say -” He huffs. “Say it again, please.” The pace of his thrusts speed up as he begs, and your nails drag down his back. “You’re my good boy, Spencie.” His eyes flutter shut at the praise and he doesn’t bother to be gentle anymore.
“Mphm! More - I need more.”
“Okay, okay.” He rushed to balance on his elbow so that his other arm could slip between the two of your bodies to rub at your clit. Your back arched, and Spencer all but throbbed inside of you, his balls tightening and threatening to cum right then and there; but ever the gentleman, he waited, his stomach sucked in tightly and his body jolting quivering.
“I - I’m gonna cum.” 
It didn’t take much to pull you into a kiss. It was sloppy, and messy, and lewd and all of those other wonderful synonyms. Spit dribbled down your chins and with one last hard thrust that almost sent you up the bed, you gripped onto the older man for dear life.
Everything went white as you came; your hearing, your vision, every single cognitive thought you had pretty much flew out the window.
It was Spencer gently wiping the sweat off of your brow that brought you back down to reality, your lungs finally opening up and expanding for that much needed air.
“Hey,” He cooed. “There you are.”
“Hi,” You sighed with a ditzy smile on your face.
There was a moment of silence before you said, “How about we save the oral for breakfast?” Spencer laughed, but nonetheless nodded in agreement. “That sounds perfect.”
“So, what’s for dessert then?” He couldn’t help but ask. “Hm
” You pondered for a moment. 
“How about ice cream?”
“I like ice cream.” But then he added, “But I like you more.”
“Ugh, you’re the worst.” You groaned, covering your eyes, but your grin gave you away. “I like you too, I guess.”
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pixiecaps · 6 months ago
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recapping a bit of what haru said on stream
haru on her stream spoke about how shes had a really awful past five years and all her experiences just from this past year has been incredible. she gave a massive thank you to everyone and that she has no regrets.
“i never imagined i’d be where i am right now and i mean it with all my heart thank you so much. i had a very good time and i hope to have made you guys happy.”
she mentioned that since she was young shes always wanted to make content that makes people happy because she felt the world was missing a lot of love so shes happy to have given the world a piece of her heart. she mentioned how shes met so many incredible people who motivated her to see the good parts of life. to have found even this little bit of sunshine has left her so grateful. she says thank you for all the kindness, all the moments, all the memories, all the words, everything. shes very happy and mentioned this has been a very special experience for her. she reminded her chat that theres always another day and to enjoy life to the maximum, to live, to love, to talk, to hug each other, to be happy always, and that all the beautiful happiness we’ve given her will be returned back to us. she continues to express her gratitude. she mentioned this is one of the most beautiful communities shes ever had the pleasure of meeting in the entire world. she goes on to include the spanish, portuguese, french, english, german, and korean community in that statement.
“there is love in all types of languages and that love needs to be shared.“
she said her words will never be enough to express all her gratitude. she gave a reminder to always keep being kind. her voice falters a couple times from all the emotions. she mentioned shes cried enough and didn’t want to keep crying since she had something to do tomorrow and she didnt wanna have swollen eyes lmao.
she then shares a more personal moment. paraphrasing here.
“after i lost my dad i swear i felt like my life was falling apart. i never thought i’d be able to recover. after that many things happened and in those things, i wasnt destined to meet two people, this is a story i’ll always remember because i wasnt destined to meet these people. 
 they tell me hey the actor for this little thing didn’t show up and i say no way seriously? tell them to let me be it, tell them please because i want to be with you guys (harus two friends who were apart of the project). and i didnt think they’d agree
 and they said yes. and i met two very important people and honestly (starts crying) thank you so much. thank you so much nussa. thanks to you i was able to meet them. i never imagined this would happen i promise you. thank you nussa. it means a lot to me that you decided to put me (into the leo spot). the only major thing in my life, i started being so happy, i started enjoying all the moments in my life as if it were the last, thanks to all this i’m here. and could meet you all. such a beautiful community.” she goes on to keep thanking nussa while crying and saying it was written in the stars. she goes on to say that shes gonna tell this as a story some day to her family, who doesnt know what she does or that she streams, and she’ll tell them about all of this with so much care and love. shes very thankful to have learned so much english and more about so many different cultures. she again reiterates shes very happy.
she also teases that she wants to go to brazil!!!! which
 might be soon
 and that theres little things being planned so hopefully if all goes well
👀 (an egg admin meetup would go so hard)
NOW GO SUPPORT HER ON TWITCH @ HarumiVT
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fallingdownhell · 10 months ago
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How do you think the Sumeru boys would react to their s/o getting shrunk?
An interesting scenario... 👀 Characters Included: Tighnari; Cyno; Alhaitham; Kaveh (+Wanderer) Content: gender neutral reader; established relationship; idk if this classifies as crack??; bit of comedy; bits of fluff Word count: 910 words Have fun<3
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Tighnari
I personally see this going one of two ways
first, when realizing what has happened, he'd drop everything, all his work and responsibilities, and try to figure out how this happened and how to turn you back to normal again
or, he would want to do that, but he just can't because something really important is happening today... then, as shitty as this sounds, he'd just take you along with him, like in a backpack or pocket or something. Because he does not trust that nothing won't happen to you while he's out and about
whichever it is, he'd be very gentle with your tiny form and take very good care of you
when first noticing your current predicament, Tighnari would be shocked, maybe laugh a little bit, but he'd soon focus on helping you figure things out
he's not too keen on you staying this way for a longer period of time, or even forever, so he'd work hard on finding a solution
overall okay reaction, very helpful and polite about it, though he does put out an occaisonal comment here and there. But it's all in good fun, so don't worry
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Cyno
oh boy
you best prepare to be the butt of every of his jokes for the foreseeable future from now on
even if you manage to turn you back to normal, he will not let you forget about this incident, ever
would probably laugh at you, questioning you how you even managed that in the first place
but all jokes aside, he IS worried about you, so he does the only thing he can think about
he grabs you very carefully and carries you to Tighnari, hoping that his friend and Forest Ranger might know or can help to come up with a solution to the problem
he'll stay there with you until you're back to normal, that means that his work will be put on hold, no matter what anyone has to say about it
will turn restless and worried if there's no easy or quick solution available, but will do his best to support you, even though he will still make jokes about you
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Alhaitham
shock and surprise is his first initial reaction
like, frozen on his spot, kinda shocked
does not know how to react appropriately or what to say, at all. One of the few times in his life where he's actually speechless
once he's recovered from the shock, he's asking you a whole lot of question. If you remember how this happened, how you feel, if you noticed anything unusual, if you maybe know how to revert back, etc
just, literally any question that comes to his mind, really
he views this entire situation very neutral, like some sort of experiment that he wants to figure out
and since you're the only one affected and involved, it's only obvious that he asks you all these questions
plus, by answering them, he might be able to figure out what's going on and how to revert you back to normal
if he can't come up with a solution on his own, he'd go into the House of Daena, searching for every book available that is loosely connected to the issue at hand
should that still not deliver results, he'll help you consult doctors and other specialists in order to help you get better again
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Kaveh
full on panic mode activated
he sees what has happened to you, and freaks out over it
almost impossible to calm him down again. And since your voice is a lot quieter in your tiny form, you have to almost shout out your lungs in order to get his attention again
out of the two of you, you're definitely the calmer and more levelheaded one in this situation
he's helping you with whatever you need. When you ask him to take you to the doctors, he does so, no questions asked
though you have to constantly remind him to not squeeze you so hard in his hands
cut him some slack, will you? He's not used to something like this, he has to constantly remind himself to treat you carefully and gently
will freak out again if no one can figure out what is wrong with you or how to treat you
he may not have much money, but you best believe he's putting every single Mora he has into trying to figure this out and get you back to your normal self
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Wanderer
shocked at first, but will soon start to tease you about it relentlessly
he'll lovingly call you names like "shorty", "shortcake", and other stuff, now that you're so much tinier than him
he's having his fun teasing you for some time, but in the end, he does worry about you and wants you back to your usual self
since he doesn't trust you to be by yourself while like this, he carefully picks you up when he goes to pay Nahida a visit, thinking that she might know something about what has happened to you
together, the three of you would put your heads together, trying to figure something out
would feel annoyed if you're still in this state by the end of the day, but tries not to show it. It's not your fault after all, and you can't really do anything about it, so he doesn't want to let it out on you
but you best believe that it's his top priority from now on to get to the bottom of this. And should he find out that someone else is responsible for this, then they best prepare , because he won't go easy on them should he ever come across them...
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sansaorgana · 3 months ago
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I just need to know how buck would react to his wife Breastfeeding! I feel like he is definitely a tits kind of man
oh, darling, let's be real – he's a ✹personality ✹ kind of man đŸ€­đŸ˜‚ but yeah, I agree 👀 also, I love him being a softie so much 😌 I didn't put any warnings but I assume you know already what to expect from this fic lol đŸŒ
🔞 THIS FIC IS 18+ 🔞
my requests are currently closed đŸ™…đŸ»â€â™€ïž
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Usually, it was Buck who would leave the bed in the middle of the night to bring the crying baby to you but today he seemed to be so deep in his sleep that no amount of your daughter’s screaming was waking him up. You sighed and caressed his hair softly without wanting to wake him up – he deserved his rest as well, after all, and it had been a long and tiring week for him at work.
You got out of the bed and put a robe loosely upon your nightgown as you slid your feet inside a pair of slippers waiting for you on the carpet. Softly and quietly you left the bedroom and hurried to the nursery where your little girl was crying her lungs out.
“Hey, shh, shh,” you cooed to her while picking her up after turning a small lamp on. It was not very bright and perfect for the nighttime when little Dolores was getting hungry.
You sat with her on the rocking chair by the window and kept shushing her softly, trying to unbutton your nightgown clumsily with your free hand while keeping her steady with your other arm.
“Don’t cry, little one, don’t wake daddy up, he needs his rest,” you smiled at her and adjusted her in your arms so she could finally get fed as you watched her tiny features in awe. You were still quite sleepy but you would never change anything. Sleep was not as important as spending time with your baby.
Lost in thoughts and Dolly’s sweet little face, you didn’t notice Buck leaning on the doorway and watching you with the same amount of love as you were staring at your babygirl with.
When you looked up for a second, you got startled at the sight of him and then you chuckled.
“Sorry,” he mumbled out. “I woke up and you weren’t there but there was a light coming from the hall so I knew where you went,” he explained with a soft smile.
“You should have stayed in bed, love,” you whispered to him.
“And miss this? No way,” your husband approached you and crouched down next to you so he could see Dolly’s face, too. She opened her eyes and looked at him as she kicked her little feet. Buck grabbed them and caressed them gently. “Isn’t she perfect?” He looked up at you and gasped.
“Yes, she is,” you nodded but you furrowed your brow at his gasp. “What is it?”
“You’re a goddess, really,” he admitted and you felt your cheeks heating up.
“Oh, Gale, please,” you dismissed that praise shyly.
“I mean it,” Buck whispered and gently let go of Dolly’s feet to caress your cheek with his finger. “After everything I’ve been through, all that death and darkness
 You’re a beacon of light, a life-giver, a mother,” he explained. “And I will forever worship you for that.”
You cracked a smile at his words and fought the tears forming in your eyes.
“I wish you haven’t gone through any of that,” you confessed, nearly inaudibly.
“But I have and maybe thanks to that I can appreciate what I have even more,” Buck nodded.
“You’ve always been a good man,” you reminded him and it was true. Your husband had always been kind and generous and a gentleman. You had never complained about anything that actually mattered. He didn’t deserve any of the suffering he had been through and he certainly hadn’t needed it to help him shape his character because he had simply always been a good man.
Even in that dim light you could see your husband’s cheeks turning slightly pink. He was adorable, like a little boy. You wished you could hold him close and make all his pain go away, all the awful memories, all the nightmares, all the triggers. You just wanted him to relax, you wanted to give him peace.
Little Dolly squealed a bit and you looked down to see her mouth curling up in a small smile as droplets of milk were dripping down her chin. You chuckled at that and lifted her up as Buck took a tissue from the changing table to wipe her face gently.
“I’ll take her,” he offered and you let him take the baby. Buck started to carry her around while patting her back delicately and you wiped the milk leaking out of your breast swiftly before buttoning the nightgown up.
You kept sitting in the rocking chair and watching your lovely husband walking around the small nursery that he had prepared by himself before Dolly’s arrival to this world. And now was humming a lullaby to his little girl and everything seemed to be so perfect and cosy. You couldn’t be happier than that, you thought.
When Dolly could be placed back in her crib, Buck made sure to watch over her until she fell asleep. He told you to go back to the bedroom and even though you felt guilty that once again he was the one to stay up in the nursery, you were grateful for him telling you to rest instead.
You were still weak after the childbirth and all the pregnancy and he was just one of those husbands who actually appreciated their wives for carrying their children for them. He was tired after this previous week, too, but he knew his exhaustion was no match compared to yours.
So, you went back to the bedroom and you sat up with the pillows behind your back because you wanted to wait for him. You weren’t that sleepy anymore but you were grateful for the possibility of going back to bed – especially your spine was very happy about it.
Buck came back not so long after you since it never took Dolly long to fall asleep in the middle of the night after being fed. You hoped it would stay this way. In general, so far she had been a quite unproblematic child of a gentle nature and you suspected it was a trait she had after her father.
Buck went under the cover and laid down next to you, looking up at you with his pretty puppy eyes as he leaned in to kiss your tummy.
“You sleepy, darling? Want me to turn the light off?” You asked him and caressed his hair.
“It’s fine. I want to stay up and keep looking at you for a while,” he admitted and you giggled.
“You’re mad,” you pointed out playfully.
“Sure I am. Mad about you,” Buck answered and you rolled your eyes as you kept caressing his hair and face – gently, with your fingertips, tracing the outlines of the thin scars scattered all over his face.
“I love you,” you whispered with all seriousness.
“I love you, too,” he whispered back with a soft smile.
There were many other things that had been told between you two with those three words but you didn’t have to actually list them all out loud. Your “I love you” was enough to thank him for his sacrifice, for surviving the war and coming back to you. It was enough to let him know you would take it all away from him if it was possible. And his “I love you, too” was enough for you to know that he knew what you meant and he thanked you for understanding and for waiting for him, for always treating him so kind and soft – for giving him a baby, too.
Buck moved closer to you and buried his face in your nightgown, breathing in your scent. You kept playing with his hair and sighed softly when he looked up with a smile.
“It smells so sweet,” he whispered and you furrowed your brow because you hadn’t used any perfume before going to bed. “The milk, I assume,” he added and unbuttoned two of the small buttons of your nightgown to bury his face deeper into your chest and take a deep breath in. “Yeah, it’s the milk,” he nodded.
“It tastes sweet, too,” you told him with a smirk and Buck tilted his head as he kept looking up at your face.
“How do you know?” He chuckled.
“Sometimes, when it leaks out on my fingers, I am too lazy to wipe it off and I just lick it off of my fingers,” you confessed. “Well, I was pretty curious about it, too,” you told him, hoping he wouldn’t judge you.
But Buck would never judge you.
He swallowed a lump in his throat and looked down between your breasts as if he was contemplating on something. Finally, he looked up again and his cheeks were crimson red.
“Can I
 Can I taste it, too?” He asked.
You were taken aback by this question. Not that you found it obscene or disgusting but you definitely did not expect your husband to request such a thing.
“Yes, my love, of course,” you smiled at him with a nod and began to work on your buttons. You would never deny him anything.
“Only if
 If it’s still gonna be enough for Dolly in the morning,” Buck interrupted you by placing his hand on top of yours.
“Don’t worry about that, sweetheart, she’s gonna have enough,” you assured him with a chuckle and he nodded.
Buck watched in awe when you kept unbuttoning your nightgown – a sight he had seen many times now but this time it was different. It was only for him and you were doing it slowly, which was done on purpose to give him a little show. It felt intimate on a level he had never been with you before although he had never thought it possible.
He nearly moaned at the sight of your swollen breasts jumping out of your nightgown. They had gotten so big due to your pregnancy and he was obsessed with them even more than usual now. A simple thought that they were swollen with milk for his baby was enough to make him have impure thoughts sometimes. He had always worshipped you and the ground you walked on but you becoming a mother of his child only intensified the feeling – he couldn’t believe his happiness, really. The woman he loved so much was loving him back and she wanted to give him a family even though she had to sacrifice so much and her body was a real miracle for actually being able to grow a child and give birth
 For Buck you truly were a goddess and he couldn’t care less if it was a blasphemy or not.
Carefully, he touched your breasts and you hissed quietly because they were so sore and sensitive. But Buck knew that already so he was trying to be as gentle as possible when he softly massaged them and watched the milk leak out. He allowed it to flow for some time and only when your breasts were covered in white streamlets, he licked them up while peppering your skin with kisses.
“So sweet,” he said and looked up as you noticed his pupils darkening. You knew that look very well.
“Baby, it’s too early for us to
” You started.
“I know, don’t worry,” he interrupted you and moved up a little to get better access. “I won’t hurt you,” he assured you and you believed him because Buck would never do anything to harm you.
He attached his lip to your nipple and began to suck. You sighed out of relief and threw your head back while caressing his hair and feeling how his muscles relax under your touch. It was all you wanted for him – to finally rest and be at peace, to feel safe in your arms.
His soft, plump lips sucking on your sore nipples softly were making you feel warm all over your body. You were sighing and gasping with pleasure as the hardness of his cock grew, brushing your thigh under the fabric of his pyjama pants.
You felt bad for him because he wouldn’t be able to properly fuck you in two more weeks so you decided to please him in a different way. One of your hands wandered all the way down and under his pants to take his hard and swollen cock. You could already feel the leaking precum and you had to admit, you were pretty surprised that sucking your breasts could make him get so hard so fast but on the other hand you two hadn’t had sex in over a month now.
“Ooh, so heavy. Let me help you with that, baby,” you moaned at the feeling.
With your other hand you kept caressing the back of his head as you started to pump his cock. Buck moaned into your chest and attached his lips to the other nipple as his hands played with your free breast. He bucked his hips to help you jerk him off since he was so desperate to finally have his sweet release. He was nearly as desperate as he had been after coming back home from Europe but you didn’t mind that at all. In fact, you found it pretty hot that he was so needy for you and that it wasn’t taking much for him to finish because of you.
“Shh, you’re such a good boy for me,” you assured him in a whisper. “Let go, baby, don’t hold back.”
You picked up your pace and let your thumb circle around his tip to stimulate him even further and in a few chaotic thrusts of his hips, he came all over your hand while gasping and holding on to you. You kissed the top of his head with a soft smile and caressed his softening cock a few more times before reaching out to your nightstand for a tissue to clean up the mess.
“Did it feel good?” You asked, looking down at his face. His pretty baby blue eyes were hazy and his lips slightly parted. His flushed cheeks and messy hair were making him look even more adorable.
“It felt like heaven,” he breathed out.
You chuckled at that and wiped the corners of his mouth with another tissue to clean him up from your milk before cleaning up your breasts, too. Buck rolled over to lay on his back as he ran his hand through his hair and down his face.
“We can do it more often if you want to,” you told him after throwing the tissues away. “It felt nice
 Such a relief,” you told him truthfully. “Sometimes she doesn’t drink enough and I am too full,” you added and rested your cheek on your elbow as you stared at his face lovingly.
Buck turned his face around to look into your eyes. He was still blushing slightly but he cracked a shy smile at you.
“Yeah, well, I’m your husband and it’s my duty to help you then, is it not?” He raised an eyebrow and you giggled before leaning in to kiss his cheek and then the top of his nose and lips.
“You’re an amazing husband, darling. Performing all of your duties so well that you should get a medal for that,” you teased him playfully.
“I don’t collect my medals,” he reminded you. He still didn’t collect the ones he had been given in Europe.
“Oh, this one you will,” you assured him with a wink. “Just give me two weeks.”
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MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST
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kanmom51 · 4 months ago
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Hi! I love reading your posts so much so I would like to know your thoughts on this:
https://x.com/smol_kia/status/1550222383075586048?t=1QUT02cleCrXVULBEegSjw&s=19
I saw some of us on X thanking this person for manifesting the toothbrushing scene which was funny but at the same time i am super confused on how jikook really did exactly the same as the fan art (the plaid pyjamas especially)! Do you think this was purely coincidence or one of them saw it and went 'let's make this to reality'?
English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if my ask is all over the place :) love ya!
Let's start with the end here why don't we?
JM and JK are the real thing. They have a real actual relationship unlike the dreamt up needing to lean on made up fanart relationship that Tkks delude themselves JK and Tae have.
That is the starting point.
Jikook are the real deal. A real life long term loving couple. TKK are not. Not a couple. Friends yes. At times closer at times not so much, but always and only friends.
So, let's talk about that fanart. It's from 2022. 22 July 22 to be accurate. I am literally feeling sick to my stomach at the moment, but I will share the photo, cause I'm going to be making a point here.
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*At least they kept the JM in place (although they probably are deluded as to it's meaning...).
So, why is the date so important, you may ask.
Because that is the day ITS Friendcation came out.
And guess what we got in that first episode of the show.
Only the four friendliest of friends in their matchy plaid pj's.
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Basically what we had was TKK's in their hazed daydreams wishing that instead of Tae sleeping together with his squad, to which a one Jeon Jungkook does not belong no matter how much they want to twist it (same crew that left JK at the ski resort by himself while leaving together), instead of Tae waking up with Wooga and their match plaid pj's and brushing teeth together, it would be JK there with him.
Like I say, dream on.
That fanart of theirs, is a dream not a reality, and they can scream until they are blue in the face, it won't change the fact that the one brushing his teeth with JK at the moment is JM, not Tae, by choice. JK choice. JM's choice. They both wanted it. They both planned it. They both worked towards it. And they are both living it right now.
I find it kind of funny how TKKs keep on screaming that JM and JK's travels are for the camera, not genuine, all for the buck. If that was true, if Jikook were indeed the 'fanservice' couple for BH, if Jikook were a money maker as a unit for the company, how is it that this cash machine has never been properly utilized. It always amuses me to hear this from them all while most of Jikook's interactions are off camera, not for us to intentionally see. This one unit that has never come to fruition officially (until now, and there is a reason for that and a reason why we are getting more now, none of which are them being 'faked' for the camera in order to make money).
I love how they twist everything to fit a constant changing narrative. I actually don't know how they keep up with themselves. It would be so exhausting.
I saw Mina's tweets. Will not share them here. I will not give that hateful ***** a platform here. All I will say is that it must be so very hard for her right now. Reality is hitting and it's hitting hard. I guess it's a last hurrah, an attempt to cling to their fantasy. Basically acting like a belligerent child having a tantrum.
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If I didn't loath her and her kind I would actually pity them. They are going to be so very miserable in the upcoming months. Not to mention after they are all back from the military.
I guess these weirdos need to be reminded that JM and JK's Tokyo trip back in 2017 was not for the cameras. A trip eternalized with JK's GCFT, a trip they could not stop talking about, a trip they continued to talk about in their book under the title Real love.
I won't remind them of just how fondly JK was talking about their trip and the show, nor will I bring up that shining sun of a smile he had when JM says he'll hug him later, cause you know, these are basically fans that have no interest in what the idol they supposedly love (yeah, no love there) says or feels. It's about what they, as fans, want to feel dreaming about buff JK the fuckboy, bad boy, man handler and his dainty weak boyfriend Tae (with their love hate toxic jealousy drama filled relationship).
Excuse me for a sec...
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I also guess they need to be reminded that not all of JM and JK's time together was filmed, not all of it was for the cameras, as they love to put it. Not in NY, and definitley not in Tokyo 2023. Funny how two people that were working on enlisting together and got to fulfill their wishes and make sure that the 18 months of their military service they are inseparable, even if that means a tougher placement than if they enlisted separately, still wanted to go on these trips together. I think that by now any claim that this was forced on them - the trips, the show, the enlistment - have been long disproved.
And for a couple that the company are 'trying to push on us' it's really funny how silent they have been since their enlistment. But yeah, these people will continue to say what they want because otherwise their dreams are dead. Kind of like Larry's that still think those two are a thing.
You know what else that fanart comes after, btw?
Not only the ITS friendcation, but also after this:
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JK directing LGO MV choosing the couples pj's, choosing to have JM walk out of the bathroom brushing his teeth JK waiting for him in the bedroom.
Fanart is art (not that some of the fanart out there would be considered art by myself, but you know, that's a personal taste, or distaste, and that btw includes some Jikook fanart as well). It can replicate or express reality but it can also be an outright fantasy.
In this case it's TKKs seeing the reality (Wooga and Jikook) and expressing fantasy (their ideas or wishes applied onto TKK), lol.
And now we have JM and JK on their trip wearing these couples pj's.
What a blow that must have been for TKKs. And this whole scrambling thing they are doing, that this is "the company" copying their fanart. Absolutely hilarious.
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Jikook have shown us over the years that they love plaid. Not gonna add pics here cause there is no end to them. JK, JM alone, together, plaid is something they have been doing. Specifically? Not necessarily. But it's something they wear.
Jikook themselves have worn plaid pj's in the past for LGO MV (and the live as well - do I remind you guys of JK's joke about why he decided to have JM brushing his teeth?). Director JK. Their choice.
The fanart TKKs are squealing about was not an original piece of art that a TKKer came up with. They literally copied the pajamas worn by the Woogas in ITS Friendcation inserting JK into their fantasy.
If people would watch original content they would know that Jikook, both of them, tend not to wear pj's at home. Not around the house and not in bed. We saw JM in ITS 2. We saw JK in his bed live (in which I would love to remind TKKs how flirty and naughty he was with JM all while being half naked in bed, nagging JM to do a live with him, all his choice, all knowing that the company will not be happy with him, lol - still waiting for that Jikook live, you know from the company's "for the cameras" couple). Oh, and we also have the LV live. Yeah, that was an interesting one. Seeing that not only did we hear from JM and Hobi that JM walks around in his undies at home but that JK is in charge of the soundtrack... I guess while he's in his undies as well...(JM's reaction to Hobi's slip up was priceless). Point being that those two don't do clothes for sleep. But clearly they couldn't go 'au natural' for the show, so they chose to wear pj's.
And just like the other clothes that they chose to wear throughout their travels, that we will get to see in the show, they chose to wear these pj's.
Couple pj's.
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This is not a photo shoot. This is them coming from home with their own clothes wearing what they want to wear, what they feel comfortable in. And they chose to wear those pj's knowing EXACTLY how it will be perceived.
And just like Wooga chose to wear the plaid pj's, which btw were all identical, like the rings they wear, probably as a symbol of their friendship, all while NO ONE ever dared to claim that they were dressed by stylists or forced into wearing them or that the creators of the show even suggested the idea to them, JM and JK chose to wear these pj's that are not identical but seem to be perceived as couple's pj's.
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Pajamas sold out of course, the company's caption at the bottom being: "How about watching the show together in couple pajamas?"
Their choice.
Their decision.
Filming themselves brushing their teeth - their decision.
I want to make something clear here. They have said it and I will repeat it. This is not a scripted show. This is them travelling, experiencing, enjoying themselves (you cannot fake those smiles and giggles), filming themselves. That angle, the camera in the bathroom, that is a camera they placed there, they wanted us to see this just like JK wanted to show us JM brushing his teeth and coming out to him in the bedroom.
Do I remind you what happened when a camera was placed in a room when they didn't want us to see what they were up to?
This is not 2018 anymore. This is 2024 (well, filmed end of 2023, and may I just note that after the new contracts were signed, and I do think this is highly relevant as to what we are going to be getting in this show, what we will be allowed to see, the level of candor). No more hidden cameras in rooms (I think the company had realized that was a dangerous game they were playing at), and their artists control over what will be filmed and what not.
Their choices, their decisions, not some company executive. Them. The two of them.
I will end this by saying that I doubt that Jikook are even aware of this TKK fanart.
But if they were, then this wouldn't be them copying the fanart trying to create the illusion they are a couple.
No need for an illusion when you ARE the real deal.
If, by any chance, they were aware of the fanart then I would say that any connection to it would be them saying a big FUCK YOU to TKKs and their delusions.
But yeah, I do doubt they were even aware of this pic.
JK's search logarithm is Jimin based. Not TKK. So keep dreaming TKKs, cause not only are TKK not the thing you so very much want them to be, the thought of that thing, them as a couple, you as a fan group, your art and fantasies, all those aren't even a blip on JM and JK's radars.
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sugoi-writes · 7 months ago
Text
Nun! Alastor X Reader - Part 2 - The Confessional
HahahaHAH ITS HERE!
Warnings: serious filth and sacrilege, mentions of tentacles, some choking, fingering, oral (surprise for whose receiving~) and some really depraved confessions and convos. Cursing!!! Yay, sin! I hope you guys enjoy 💗 there will be a VERY important poll at the end, so be sure to give it a look 👀
Edit: I noticed a few mistakes on my 100th read-through, and made some changes. Apologies for that!
Never had you felt more nervous when stepping towards a chapel, hands wringing themselves soothingly. The sweat clung to your palms as you looked up towards the looming structure, head straining to take in the full magnitude of the building. The intricate stained-glass windows were illuminated under the moonlight, casting grand scenes across the earth at your feet.
In Hell, most sinners were more active at night. Depending on the Ring you would visit, you would likely run into 'unsavory' company. But thankfully, this humble part of the Pentagram was lulling with sleep, as if abiding by the arbitrary notion of a "Sabbath Day". How ironic.
You wet your lips, cursing yourself for not taking better care of yourself, before you quietly enter the building. Your eyes scanned the main hall, the room you had sat in not too long ago. Candles lit up the pulpit faithfully at the front of the chamber, while torches lined the perimeter. In this lighting, the room seemed so different, giving off the air of a deathly calm and peace; a juxtaposition to its normally bustling, jittery energy.
You almost called out into the dim room, but restrained yourself. You bowed your head, looking down cast before uttering a gentle apology for the intrusion. When you looked back up, you nodded, hyping yourself up before coming into the room further.
It is by this point that you hear something shuffling, your head snapping towards the sound. Your bravado was instantly dashed as you flew into a panic. Your eyes flash with fear, hands flying defensively upward... before you sigh with relief. You caught sight of a small, fuzzy mouse, scurrying away from you. False alarm, for now...
Your eyes scan your surroundings again, before you spy a short hallway. You step towards it, noticing that there appeared to be a private area. You squint in the dim light, spying a humble looking booth within the room.
Bingo. This must be where "confessions" occur.
You start to make your way down the hall, eager to meet with the Priest about redemption. Your head was high; you had genuine, innocent hope that this wouldn't be some money laundering, bait-and-switch scheme. And if it was... well, you just might punch a priest.
Your eyes observe paintings on the wall; you were surrounded by familiar depictions. The birth of Jesus, the Crucifixtion of Christ... the First Fallen Angel, Lucifer's decent. The rise of both Lilith and Lucifer in Hell... all of the depictions reminded you just how dire your predicament was, and how much you desperately wanted to leave hell.
In the last frame in the hallway, you spy a photograph, pausing to get a closer look. In the center, arms folded pridefully, there stood the Priest, St. Vox... among him, to both sides, stood honest though demonic looking nuns. You squint at the form to his right, unable to make out the face of the tall, slender Nun. All you could make out was a set of yellowed, razor sharp teeth smiling back at you. You shuddered, unable to shake the feeling you were being watched, before you entered the private room.
You were welcomed in perfect silence, your eyes trained on the confessional booth before you. A simple construction, for sure, but the carvings and finishes made the booth seem... expensive. You walked up to it, hand tracing intricate carvings of religious iconography. Snakes, the Forbidden Fruit, Angelic wings... a myriad of designs and carvings litered the enter frame. Had you had better lighting, you would take the time to appreciate it more... but you were here on strick business.
Without hesitation, you entered the booth, having a seat in the left side. You were not comforted by a cushion or pillow, the seat creaking under you. You flinched, the noise almost deafening in the resounding silence. And then, you waited, waiting for a sign of the Priest you sought to speak to.
When the bench in the booth to your left suddenly creaked, you nearly banged your head on ceiling. Your heart was in your throat, frightened; did the door even open??? How did someone get in there so quickly???
A throat was cleared, the sound of static crackle replaced with a low hum, before a familiar voice cut through.
"Child, I apologize for keeping you waiting. Sadly, there's no rest for the wicked, nor those who seek to help them." You sigh in relief as Vox speaks to you, shoulders instantly relaxing. You fold your hands neatly in your lap, looking towards the booth's door as you spoke.
"No worries! It uhh-- it wasn't for long, if that's what you're worried about. I... well, your Nun informed me that you had a chance to hear me out? I hope that I came at the correct time..."
Midnight, on the nose. Though some cultures differed, you were sure you were correct on this notion...
"My Child, you came at the perfect time. But, I must fulfill my duty to you; to listen first. What have you come to speak about?"
You leaned back as your thumbs twiddle, suddenly sheepish," Well... I know your methods of redemption usually come through... err, "offerings". Monetary ones, at that. I was wondering if you had ever seen anyone be saved? Redeemed and brought to Heaven on just... good will and sinless lifestyle alone?"
A dark chortle... then, an uproarious laughter fills the booth as you look in shock.
"Oh, dear Child, you are mistaken! A sinner is not capable of change! Nor is a sinner able to even fathom walking to the Heavenly Gates. No... the actions taken can never be washed clean... at least, not in Hell. What's done is done. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. But..."
You feel your skin crawl as you feel the Priest facing you, still unable to see him in the darkness of the booth, just behind a lattice-patterned divider.
"You mention humble offerings... now those have proven to make life in hell more... comfortable. Much more so than that of anyone. Offerings have the ability to keep you safe; make you privy to things that others are not." You shrink back from the voice as it draws closer, a characteristic glitch setting in the tone.
"I-- your money can make you safe. It can welcome you to my fold, dear... Or... if money isn't on the table... there are... other ways to earn favor in this sacred place."
Your face instantly morphed from bafflement to rage, anger brewing in your core," What-- what are you saying?!?"
The voice past the partition seems to smile a wider," Dear, I believe you know that your soul could be traded... for freedom. For pleasures. Who best to give it to than a Priest who can promise you untold riches? No salvation, but, comforts in this life time? I can give you that-- and SO much more!!!"
"Forget it!!!" You shrieked, standing firmly on your feet and slamming your fist into the wall," I do have a confession to make, after all!"
You feel your eyes welling with hot, angry tears as your words spew out, unabashed," I LOATHE your methods! I think that taking people's money for their loyalty is-- it's sick! Almost as sickening as buying their love with promises of salvation! You're just-- just some pompous, religious twat!"
You slam your fist into the partition again, feeling your anger bleeding into your physical form," I'll tell you-- I'll tell you that I think you're a fucking sham.. this whole Chapel is! The only GOOD thing you have in this building is your fucking Nun, Alastor!"
The voice from the other end does nothing to interrupt you, seemingly silenced by your fury.
"In fact-- I think I will go seek her-- him??? THEM out!!!"
The door to your booth is slammed open by your hand, as you trudge towards the door.
"I've had it with this discussion. You aren't here to help me. You're here to coerce me. And I'm not gonna listen to another word of your warped gospel, you cheap, conniving, greedy fUCKER--!"
You gasped when you were suddenly slammed into the wall, body pressed flush to it as someone pinned you from behind. You struggled, choking as the air was unintentionally pushed out of your lungs. You became frantic as the hot breath of the demon behind you fanned across your ear. Shit-- shit!!! You fucked up!
A sickening, twisted laughed bellowed in the chamber, the tone of voice morphed and unable.
"At last, Sweet Lamb... you've begun to see the light!"
You freeze, eyes straining to look behind you. The voice of the Priest was no more, replaced with the familiar, velveteen tone of the Nun. You opened your mouth, struggling to speak with no support," Y-You! This is-- please explain!" was all you could squeak out, before a neutral hum sounds behind you. You shuddered as it reverberated through you, no time to think as you were spun around.
Again, the Nun's body pinned your own, craning downward to look at your frightened face," Sadly, the Priest could not make it to Confessional tonight... But, I was more than happy to step in, in his absence." You trembled as his arms left deep rivets in the wall beside you, swallowing hard," And, to be frank, the help he would have offered you would have been the same; inadequate, even."
You stopped struggling as you locked eyes with the demon above you, swallowing shallowly as he spoke again.
"Now, as for helping you: I'm afraid the only entity who can divinely interfere with your predicament is the Lord and his Seraphims. Not even the Ruler of the Hells could hope to overwrite God's Will." You eyes turn downcast, face heating at the words. Of course... that would make sense. Only God and the angels can open the gates, right? How foolish an idea you had...
"However..." You felt a clawed finger beneath your jaw, beckoning you to look up. You were faced with the same, wide smile, eyes narrow slits filled with delight.
"There are things that a Saint, such as myself, can still offer to you..." Your eyes widen in recognition: Aha! So he WAS a man, afterall. You blink, shaking your head quizzically.
"I have SO many questions-- for one, why would you be parading as a Nun, if you're a Saint?" Alastor's grin grows a touch mischievous, before a weighed sigh leaves him," Alas, the Priest here struggles with... containing himself. He has a history of giving in to Earthly desires, time and time again. I can bring him much discomfort with just my voice, let alone my body... I am merely a vessel for the Lord, and yet he wishes to, well, lay his claim. And so, the habit conceals everything he can't keep his eyes off of; everything he is not permitted to touch by the Lord."
His neck tilts, cracking with the harsh angle as he looks to you," I think it's quite the sound idea, don't you think?"
Alastor leans back, his hips still pinning you to the wall. Your face heats hastily with embarrassment. He seemed to be gauging your every move, calculating what you may try while under his trap.
"Sure, right-- Okay... perverted Priest. Wouldnt be the first time I've heard of that..." You looked up shakily to the nun... saint...? You aren't sure what to call him anymore. Alastor quirks a brow up at you, egging you to speak.
"Okay, okay, second question: what are you implying that you can help me with?" You yelp as a knee comes between your legs, caging you again. Alastor bends down at the waist to match your height, his face growing closer to yours. With hands at either side of your head... you were still so close... and so, so trapped.
"I think we both know that you have something else to get off your chest... Thoughts that you've been plagued with, My Lamb." A slender, warm finger runs down your cheek, knuckle first, ending the trail just below your jaw. You gasp as Alastor comes impossibly closer, his fringe nearly brushing your forehead.
"Wh...what do you mean...?"
The Saint chuckles darkly, shaking his head," Oh, wayward one... your eyes betray you. They betrayed you the moment you looked into mine." You nearly squeaked as his other hand brushed through your hair, ensuring he could see your entire face.
"I saw you, even from across the room... Eyes wide in awe, wonder... You were completely spellbound by a riveting performance. You tried to look away, you shifted in your seat to silence your nerves... And yet: your eyes never strayed far from this Servant of the Lord."
You could feel his breath ghosting over your lips, subconsciously parting them as he continued to speak," Your body kept betraying your internal struggle, Little Lamb."
A choppy gasp as the hand in your hair ran down to your neck, lightly caressing and pressing to your pulse.
"I could sense your heartbeat, quivering and loud, with each movement I made, each inhale I had to take to sing. Each time I smiled just a touch more... I could almost taste the sweat that ran down your brow, your eyelids fluttering during the final chorus. Your thighs could only do so much to relieve the pressure that built up in you. You were enthralled... but not by the Lord's gospel: but by me."
His hand drifted down to your chest, settling over the very spot your heart should be. Your breathing quickened, your eyes never leaving his. You cursed yourself, biting your lip to stifle any shameful noise you might create.
St. Alastor's smile never wavered as he leaned over you, that familiar heat ghosting over your neck.
"I didn't miss the way that your pulse quickened when I walked closer... you hadn't even been a part of my original section, you know. But Sister Eunice was more than willing to switch. Your palms became clammy, eyes glassy as you tried desperately to plan your escape... And the moment my arms caught you, I knew for sure: you also struggle with impurities of the flesh. Specifically..."
You watched with baited breath as his hand drifted lower, until they landed on the hem of your bottoms, ghosting just above your core,"... you struggle to keep your thoughts, your body's reactions, at bay around me."
You gasp as you are groped by the large hand of the Saint, breath already ragged from his words," But... to know for sure, I need to hear these impurities come from your lips. The first step to forgiveness is confession; honesty. You must repent for your actions, in order to properly atone. So... is there anything you need to confess to, Bashful One?"
Your eyes glazed over, a familiar heat brewing downstairs as you felt his palm grind against your clothed sex. Your head rolled back, lip quivering as the Saint waited patiently. Your mouth fell open, a quiet sigh escaping you.
"Yes, there it is... let it out, Lamb. Don't hide in shame from the Lord. Embrace it-- embrace this--" You whined as your arms grabbed at his habit, his hands shifting and rubbing you through your clothing torturously. You try to stifle another moan, eyelids fluttering," Th-This is-- haaah!" You let your eyes fall closed, brows furrowing," Y-You have the wrong idea, I didn't come here to f-fuCK--"
You could barely contain yourself as you felt the hands of the Saint slip into your bottoms, fingers tracing a sensual line from the bottom of you slit, up to the pearl that sat atop it. You whined as Alastor pressed against it, unable to think clearly as he began to swirl two digits around your clit. His movements are slow, not to overwhelm you, eyes taking in your expressions to monitor your progression.
"St. Alastor! I--" you caved to the feeling, grinding into the saint's hand," I-I didn't come for this, but... I-I did think immoral things about you." Good choice, Alastor thought.
You bit your lip as you were rewarded a pinch to your bud, back arching off of the wall as you wailed," I-I-- fuck-- y-your voice was really-- mmph!" You grabbed onto the demon's shoulders above you, rooting yourself in place as you felt Alastor's pace increase.
"Hah... y-your hands looked-- feel-- so warm! Uhhn! Y-your eyes were--" Alastor pinches again, correcting you," A-Are--! Your eyes are s-so deep-- it feels like you were-- i-it felt like you were undressing me with them!"
A sly smile graces his face, leaning in to place chaste, innocent kisses to your neck," ...and perhaps they were, clever Lamb... Perhaps they were~" You whined at the notion, mouth hanging open as you continued your confession. You could hardly think straight as you felt his fingers quicken, your eyes beginning to lose focus. You trembled, knowing that this confession had been doing lewd thing to your mind and body.
"W-When you caught me, for a moment I felt- hah-- saAAaafee~" You mewl as Alastor's fingers move lower, teasing your entrance, where you desired his fingers the most. Your face was tilted further to the side, before you felt a wet, hot mouth suckling at the junction of your neck. You shuddered, fighting the mewl he tore from you so easily. Unsatisfied, you felt sharp teeth biting down, making you shriek with surprise. Pain was quickly replaced with a soothing pleasure, Alastor kissing and licking at the wound apologetically. You sighed, working up the mental capacity to speak again.
"I-I felt, no-- I needed those arms around me again. I wanted..." Boldly, you moved your arms from his shoulders, pulling lightly at Alastor's veil," I really wanted to see what was underneath all of this, too... call it a sin, but... I... I have nothing to hide anymore; not from you or the Lord."
You watch as Alastor's head doubles over, a shaky groan escaping him. When he looked back up at you, his eyes blended in with the rest of the room: they became pitch black.
"What an obedient, honest fucking pet you are, Little Lamb~"
Without warning, two fingers made their intrusion, but your silken heat was relaxed enough to take him. You cried out in bliss from the reward, tugging at the head dress again. Alastor simply kept going, leaning in to kiss your forehead as he thrust his digits up into your welcoming, quivering heat.
"Ahh, ahh~ I've taken an oath, little one. No one is permitted to see such secrets~"
You whine as you clamp down on his wet fingers, brows furrowing. You needed more; you demanded to see more. You didn't miss the way that Alastor hissed, brows furrowing at how tight you were. It seemed that he enjoyed the display far more than he let on...
Attempting to ground himself, his hand landed on your neck, holding you in place. The effect seemed to make you wetter, eyebrows raising with realization as your moans deepened. What an interesting revelation~ The Lord most certainly worked in mysterious ways!
He leans down to your ear, voice low and dripping with a sacrilegious heat," ...Tap once if you would like me to tighten my grip. Tap twice to stop it immediately." Your eyes, wide with desire, fluttered and rolled towards the ceiling, but you nodded nonetheless. If this was how all of your confessions would go... then you would become a zealot of the Lord and the Saint before sunrise.
You gave his shoulder a tap, hand landing there as you let his fingers explore and scissor the walls of your pussy. Alastor was happy to oblige, his hand squeezing your neck gently.
The action made your mouth run dry, your eyes glazing with desperate, passionate tears as his fingers thrust deliberately in your core.
Another tap to his shoulder, your eyes gazing into the flickering radio dials that had become Alastor's pupils. Again, Alastor was happy to amuse you.
You couldn't contort or stifle the noises you made, grunts and mewls the only music to leave your delicate throat. St. Alastor's hand squeezed as promised, making you flutter pathetically around him. You whined as you took in the nun turned god, your tongue hanging precariously out of your mouth. He smirked, a dangerous chortle bouncing off the chamber walls.
"Already at a loss for words, Lamb?" Alastor's fingers inside of you flex inward, pressing against a spot that made you see the pearly gates.
"My, my, your confessions will fall unto deaf ears at this rate~ Speak up, won't you? The Lord and I are granting you an audience~" He knew you couldn't speak; he knew and he didn't care. He just wanted to see you keen and struggle against him, unable to do anything but beg for more or stop this all together.
You couldn't even think of a sentence, let alone speak it into existence. Your lips flapped desperately, hands snaking up to grip at the wrist and hand on your throat. Your legs quaked, your eyes threatening to roll back as you gave a singular tap. Just one.
Alastor's eyes gleam with insidious joy as his smile expands.
Even tighter.
You felt your hips guiding themselves along Alastor's devout fingers, chasing a feeling that was hastily approaching. Alastor did little to stop you, intrigued by the display. At the intrusion of a third finger, a wanton dribble of saliva cascaded down your chin. A strangled groan: you certainly didnt mind the delicious stretch that your entrance underwent.
St. Alastor returned his attention to your face, licking a heated stripe across your parted, swollen lips. You sputtered with ecstacy, the feeling further spurring you on. You felt your coil tighten, your throat burning as you panted with reckless abandon.
"Come unto me, Little Lamb."
You needed little motivation, a silent scream gracing your face as you completely shut down. Your legs spasmed and stilled, heart racing as Alastor finally let go of your neck. Your voice was hoarse for a beat or two, hands instinctively going up to your neck. You felt a small, dried blood trail from the bite on your neck, trembling with the notion that he visibly marked you. If he didnt intend to own you, then he made a grave mistake.
You only whine as the feeling of his warm fingers left your core; this only managed to light a fire in you. You look back towards the Saint as your eyes lidded, a heavy sigh his only warning as you pushed him off of you. Alastor, surprised, caught himself with a pitch black tentacle that manifested behind him. You start to unbutton your bottoms, pushing them off of your hips before kicking them to the side. You start trudging towards the Saint with a renewed heat in your eyes. Alastor's grin nearly split his face in half as he watched you, completely overtaken by your desire to commit more sins.
Alastor tilts his head, taking deliberate paces away from you and towards the confessional booth. He had a grand idea!
"It seems that you are still plagued with impure thoughts. Tell me, Dear Lamb..." Alastor practically chuckles as he takes you by the wrist, tugging you off your feet and into the booth. You land harshly on his lap, the both of you groaning as you grind down on his firm, tall erection.
His tone was dangerous, a myriad of tenacles materializing around your limbs," What other impurities trouble you, my Lamb?" You grow impatient, boldly reaching for his lap before your hand is held aloft. Cursed tentacle!!!
"P-Please, Sister-- Saint Alastor," Your tone comes our more like a plea than a demand, as your other arm is held over your head. Your legs are spread apart, your bare cunt dribbling your essence; it drips down your glistening thighs in a tantalizing way.
"I have had thoughts of you f-fucking me... a-and I don't know how to b-b-- AHH!!" Your hips buck at an unfamiliar feeling, one of Alastor's tendrils caressing and teasing your entrance," I-I don't how to-- How to banish the thought... I-I may need higher intervention. I-I need your blessing, St. Alastor."
A prideful, malicious smile replaces the amusement on his face, long, slithering tongue dragging across his lips," Well, that is certainly a hefty demand! You poor, sinful wretch!"
You cry out in pleasure as the tentacle spears you, exploring parts much deeper than his fingers could reach. You felt your arousal slicken the foreign body, making the intrusion easier. A wanton moan sounds in the air everytime the tentacle thrusts into you.
Alastor stands on his feet, flicking a wrist as the tentacle's speed picks up. You were completely helpless to his whims, your eyes threatening to roll back as you are overcome by the tentacles' hold and movements. The Saint looked all too pleased as you heard the rustling of fabric. You tried to look down, but a tentacle covers your leering eyes, making you wail in frustration. Alastor tuts like a disappointed teacher, shaking his head.
"And here I was, about to reward you for your blatant, unabashed honesty... Should I stop? Should I call the Priest to finish the job? Or should I leave you here, tied up and aching for relief... Just to let any-old-sinner find you in such a state?"
You freeze, biting your lip as the tentacle slows to a painfully slow slog. You whine again, thrashing your head in protest," N-No, no, no...! Ughhnn, no please! Don't stop! I-I still want your blessing, Alastor! Pl-Please!"
A wicked laugh sounds in front of you as a hand snakes up your top, finding and fondling your right nipple. You jolt at the sensation, the feeling multiplied due to the lack of sight. You weren't expecting the tentacle inside of you to stir to life at the same time, now with a renewed, brutal pace. You were practically screaming at the onslaught, bouncing from every thrust you were gifted.
"Ohh, I knew you would succumb to God's Will, my dear... You see, we all fall helpless, begging at God's feet."
You feel yourself being dragged down until your knees hit the floor , your hands still held high above your head. You weren't expecting warm, firm flesh to land on your face, gently slapping at your parted lips. You could only speculate what it was, your thighs unable to clamp together.
"I must warn you, receiving my blessing can be quite taxing... do you still wish to accept it, Lamb?"
Your tongue comes out from your lips, swiping along Alastor's cock. You feel his hips stutter as you lick all that you could reach, your head already lightheaded from your desire to please him. You swirl your tongue around the head, the tip of your tongue teasing the slit in your movements. You heard a warning growl, a hand fisting your hair and holding you in place.
Still unable to see, you look up towards the noise, mouth wide open," G-Grace me with your blessing, Oh Shepard..." You could feel Alastor's breath hitching, trying to restrain himself.
"Guide this Lamb to the light of the Lord. Please.."
You were given no time to prepare as Alastor thrust into your mouth, his animalistic grunt your only solice. You were shell-shocked as he and the tentacle worked in tandem to break you. You swiveled your hips and met the thrusts from below, arching your back as your head was used as a personal cock sleeve. Though you wished to see Alastor's own lips, bruised and panting, his hair clinging to his forehead as he thrust into you... the feeling would have to surfice. And though you wanted to run your hands along his abdomen, raking your nails across his pistoning hips... you couldn't deny that the feel of the whole ordeal verged on the precipice of Nirvana.
You groans and mewls made his cock twitch and leak more precum, making your mouth even more slick for his movements. He couldn't deny how good this felt; he, himself, would have a lot to answer for later, in the privacy of the basement. He moaned as he thought of his future atonement, limbs spread and head to the floor to form the cross before a statue of Jesus. His fingers would be clawing into the floor as he recited his virtues and prayers, pleading forgiveness for a sin he felt no guilt for.
His mind clouded with visions of you, trying to seduce and distract him. Your hands would trace along his body and caressing his traitorous, sensitive tail. This information, for now, was still unknown to you...
He practically shouted from the pleasure your mouth offered him, one hand holding your face still while the other braced himself against the confession booth door and splinted the wood.
He was already approaching his climax, and by the looks of it, you were nearing your second. His smile strained as his hips lost their rhythm, opting to seek the feeling and not the motion.
"Fuck-- fuck, Lamb... oh, my sweet Lamb!!!"
You whined around Alastor's cock, your hands struggling against their restraints as you cunt throbbed with the desire to cum.
"You are so-- fuck, so fucking warm!" You felt your orgasm bubbling in your core, your tongue doing its best to carress and snake around his cock, welcoming his release with open mind and body.
"An obedient Lamb... worthy of my blessing!! Arggh-- b-blessings upon you, Lamb!! Take it! Take every last drop-- Hah--"
You gagged as Alastor bottomed out in your mouth, unable to pull away as his 'blessing' painted you white as snow. You shrieked around his cock as a new tentacle traced fast circles around your clit, forcing your release to hit you by surprise. You screamed into the climax, feeling a warm gush between you legs as you finally came undone.
Alastor pulled out of your mouth, his tentacles still touching and pulling you through your release. Your eyes are uncovered as Alastor kneels before you, kissing you hard and passionately. Your hands were soon freed, and so you tore off the damned veil. You began tangling your hands into the Saint's red and black locks, your euphoria starting to die down.
Once you felt like you were back in the right state of mind, you parted from Alastor's lips, a pleasant smile on your face. You looked down to your lap, embarrassed at the unmistakable puddle you left behind from your passions. Alastor looked too, eyes flicking back to yours as his grin softened.
"Worry not. I will handle this, Lamb. No one will know of this night. And your confessions will be safe with me."
"...REALLY now..."
The both of your freeze, looking to one another as a familiar voice sounds behind you.
"Y'know, confessions: they're supposed to be in a private, sacred place... and from your actions, this place has been sullied and desecrated."
The door to the booth flies open, Alastor and you both jumping from the sudden BANG. Your eyes widen in horror at the Demon who stood in the doorway.
"What do you both have to say for yourselves?"
246 notes · View notes
kurogane2512 · 4 months ago
Note
Hey there đŸ€ 
Here me out: Langley x G!P Reader + hate sex👀
They don't really hate each other, it's more of a rivalry between their factions and they both represent their own. They'd have a one on one meeting one day and things get heated because of disagreements. So Langley TRIED to seduce the reader into agreeing with her conditions. Being dominant and all. But in the end Langley is the one laying on the meeting table being fucked silly by reader. Reader fucks her all around the meeting room. Table, chairs, wall, everywhere. Maybe some aftercare in the endđŸ„°
- a fanđŸ€ đŸ’™
Hella yummy damn, and im so sorry this is very late
18+ CONTENT
Game: Path to Nowhere
Characters: Langley x g!p reader (can also read as gn!reader with a dick)
Type: Smut with little plot (kinda sub Langley and top reader, also kind of turned into jealous sex)
"Boss, we have arrived." Langley's subordinate informed her as the car stopped in front of a tall office building in Eastside. Langley's cane tapped on the floor as she stepped out and waltzed inside, strutting towards the meeting venue. A knock was heard on your office door followed by the door opening and Langley entered as if she owned the place, not bothering with politeness or respect.
"Good evening, Ms Langley." you greeted her with a flat tone, feeling offended by her show of disrespect towards you.
"No need for your fake pleasantries. Let's just begin what we are here for." Langley mocked before taking her seat in front of you, one leg folded over the other and her eyes piercing at you.
"Fine. Well, if you bothered reading the reports I sent you, you must know what I'm demanding and why I require your cooperation."
Langley flipped through the document in her hand and hummed, "Impressive proposal, but it is full of unnecessary risks."
You chuckled, "Risks are always essential when facing Mania. Rest assured, I won't let your precious subordinates' lives go to waste~"
Langley's lips twitched in annoyance at your words, "Always so spiteful, aren't you? How about I apply for your funding to be transferred to the MBCC instead? At least they have produced more results."
You smiled, "You can try, but the Council knows the Public Security Bureau is far more important than that prison. I'd suggest 9th Agency to not make any moves when they shouldn't, I hope to keep an amicable relationship with the MBCC."
Langley raised an eyebrow with a smirk, "Well, after the recent events, I suppose that can be negotiated. Moving on, what are your plans for West District now?"
"I believe I have already apprised you of that, Ms Langley."
"That was during the Rustfire incident. I need your plan of action for rehabilitating West District completely."
You hummed then leaned back on your chair, "I have some ideas, but this is not my highest concern at the moment. You must be aware of the increasing Mania cases in Eastside for the past year, the MBCC has been involved in all of them. The Council needs me to focus on Eastside more, they cannot compromise the life here."
Langley squinted her eyes then stood up from her seat and circled around the table, standing directly in front of you before swinging your chair to make you face her.
"Listen here, 'Captain'...." Langley leaned down, resting her hands on the armrests of the chair, "In case you have forgotten, I told you to facilitate a plan for West District months ago, while the Rustfire incident was ongoing. If the Council doesn't give you permission, then 9th Agency and by extent, Paradeisos does."
You smirked at Langley's sudden change in provocation, "What? Is your favorite MBCC not enough for that? Oh, that reminds me. Do you know there are rumours about you and that Chief having some kind of fling going on? Didn't expect you as the type to date colleagues~"
Langley sneered as well and loosened her tie then unbuttoned the first 2 buttons of her shirt, exposing the top of her breasts to you.
"Are you jealous, Captain? I can make some arrangements for you, I'm sure there are plenty of our colleagues willing to bend for you~"
Langley leaned back up then tugged your tie to make you stand up, pulling you flush against her body.
"Going off-topic, aren't we? I thought you couldn't wait to leave this place~" you teased.
Langley chuckled, "Well, I have been in more pleasant offices so you can't blame me. But I need you to give me your word about my order."
You sneakily grabbed Langley's waist lightly, "Your order? Interesting choice of word there~"
Langley bit her lower lip and stepped closer, lodging her knee between your legs.
"Why, of course, an order it is. Don't forget the 9th Agency has a higher standing than your Public Security Bureau~"
You chuckled, "So, will there be punishment if I refuse your order, 'boss'?~"
"You know I despise you, don't you? I can think of many fruitful punishments for you~"
"Oh, really? No wonder, you wouldn't be grinding against my dick otherwise~"
Langley gritted her teeth then pushed you away, "Enough. Give me your answer or I will use my alternatives."
You adjusted your tie before turning towards the table, "I cannot promise anything."
Langley clicked her tongue, "Useless, all of you. And here I was thinking you'd have redeemed yourself after the Rustfire incident."
Langley fixed her clothes and prepared to leave. Your eyes widened at her remark and you swiftly walked up to her before she could exit the office and pinned her against the wall.
"What the hell is your problem?! Can't you see I'm doing the best I can?! Who do you think you are just waltzing in and ordering me to do whatever? I have rules and other commitments to follow unlike you!"
You lashed at her, making her surprised but equally angry at you.
"Oh, don't you give me that, you useless Eastside scum! All you do is sit in this AC office all day while innocents are murdered and FAC soldiers are dying on the battlefield! See the bloodshed with your own eyes once then show this attitude to me!"
Langley held your wrists tightly and flipped around to pin you against the wall now.
"You think I haven't?! And you think I'm not trying to change that?! I do not have the protocols and permissions like you! If I did, I would have ended the Rustfire incident long before it turned out the way it did!"
"Then I'm giving you this chance now, you fool! Work with me and we will make the change!"
Your eyes widened at Langley's words and made you go silent. You suddenly realized the close proximity between you two, your breaths mingling with each other's and your gaze only focused on her. Langley sensed the tension as well then clicked her tongue before slamming her lips on yours while her hands fiddled to unbuckle your belt. You had no time to process her action as you quickly kissed back and began removing her clothes too.
Your movements were frantic and impatient, practically tearing the clothes off of each other while your lips pressed passionately. You exposed Langley's breasts first and immediately cupped them, roughly fondling and playing with them while your other hand roamed down her skirt. Langley wasn't far behind as she ripped your shirt open with ease and was about to fish out your cock when you grabbed her and flipped over once again.
A surprised gasp left her mouth as she was pinned again, overwhelmed by your unexpected strength. She wrapped her arms around your neck and slid one leg over your waist to pull you closer, your bulge pressing against her crotch. Her fingers harshly gripped the back of your head, pulling your hair to make you face her as she came close to bite your lip.
"You are insufferable, Captain." Langley whispered against your lips before you rolled your hips into her, pressing your erection against her core.
"I won't listen to you. You gotta do better than this to convince me~" you remarked as you unzipped your flyer and pulled out your cock.
Langley breathily chuckled and pushed your head into her chest, burying your face in the crook of her neck.
"Tell me what you want. Let's help out each other~"
You gritted your teeth, she was doing this intentionally to rile you up. There was only thing you wanted from her, only 1 question you wanted honestly answered. Langley reached down and gripped your shaft, languidly pumping it while gazing at you.
"You and I both know this game; we have been at it for so long. How about we skip the formalities this time? Tell me your demands and I'll make sure they are seen through."
You wrapped your arms around her waist then picked her off the wall and carried her to your table before flipping her over and bending her on it, pushing out her hips for you. Langley chuckled more at your eagerness and playfully gyrated her hips on your crotch, earning a muffled groan from you as you worked to flip up her skirt and expose her folds.
"Just.... answer one thing, that's all." you spoke while rubbing your tip on her wet folds.
"T-That's all? This is new.... mhm.... I thought you'd have a list ready by now~"
"I do but.... ngh.... I can do them on my own. I need this one answer from you...."
"Aaah.... f-fine.... get to it already~"
Langley was growing impatient as you kept teasing her with your cockhead. She would take matters in her own hands if you didn't start soon. You didn't waste more time and eased yourself in her warmth, easily sliding your cock inside her and burying to the hilt. She whined feeling you inside, desperately keeping her moans in to maintain her composure and authority.
"G-Guess you were right, any colleague of ours would bend for me— mhm.... e-even you, the esteemed boss of the 9th Agency~" you teased as you started thrusting in and out at a slow pace.
"S-Shut it, ask what you want to know and— aah....finish it already, I have more places to go...."
"Hmm.... more places like the MBCC? You really like going there, don't you?"
You grunted as you pushed in deeper, penetrating her all the way and prodding her sweet spots.
"Mhm! Y-You are mentioning it a lot today.... What? Do you really believe those rumours about me and that rookie?~"
".....And she even has a nickname.... Dammit!" you suddenly slammed forward hard, making her fall on the table with a gasp. Langley couldn't retort as you set a brutal pace, drilling into her reckless abandon so much so that the table was already creaking. You pulled her in from her waist and kept plowing, her body arching into you as she tried to turn the tide.
"H-Hey! Slow down.... What's up with you today? Aaahn!~"
Langley breathlessly moaned, her smoky voice filling your ears as you kept your pace, not planning to slow down anytime soon. You squeezed her butt then leaned on her back to kiss her nape and shoulders while your hands wrapped around to grab her breasts.
"Have you done this with her already? Is she better than me?" you whispered in her ear, catching her by surprise hearing what was truly on your mind. She found it hilarious and adorable at the same time, she wasn't aware you harbored such thoughts. Langley smirked to herself and looked at you over her shoulder, noting the needy look on your face.
"Mhm.... s-she has her ways.... she's not bad— aahn!~"
You tightened your grip around her then suddenly flipped her over to lay her on her back. Placing her right leg on your shoulder, you continued the same fast and hard pace from before, fucking her like it was the only thing on your mind.
"D-Don't you dare lie to me! Langley.... you.... ah, fuck it!" you slammed with all your might, skin slapping against her thighs making her arch every time you pushed in. Langley had seen your moments of desperation, times when you fucked her senseless out of exhaustion, but this was different. She had never experienced this side of you.
Her body rocked on the table from your brutal thrusts, both of her legs resting on your shoulders now as you leaned forward and fucked deep into her. She was surprised you still kept going and weren't close to releasing, her walls held you inside tightly and milked you of everything you had. Langley would never cum before you, but perhaps today you'd change that.
Your dick plunged with broad arcs in and out, digging into her tight and warm walls and filling her to the brim, shoving as much as you could manage in a single thrust. Your mind was filled with unpleasant things that you didn't want to think about, so you drove forward and fucked Langley out of her mind. You watched the way your dick stuffed her up and drew out her juices, the way her body arched and erotic moans came from her mouth.
Langley was close to release and she couldn't believe your thrusts didn't slow down at all. She wrapped her arms around your neck and pulled you down, making your cock enter to the hilt and hit the right spot that made her release with a muffled moan. You squeezed her breasts as you felt her walls tighten and release on your cock, letting out a hiss at the sudden tightness.
"S-Still going, Captain? Oh, you have surpassed yourself, it seems...." Langley mocked you but her words made you more irritated than anything.
"You haven't answered my question.... Gah! I-I won't stop until you answer....."
"Is that so?~" Langley smirked then you suddenly felt something press against your temple. You realized she was pointing her gun at you. A shiver went down your spine but you didn't back away, you knew she won't actually shoot. With her other hand, she pushed you away making you fall on your chair with a thud. You groaned and were about to retort but she pointed her gun at your forehead again while she stood up.
Her clothes were in shambles and slick dripped down her thighs. You swallowed thickly and averted your gaze from her. She smirked then kept away her gun and proceeded to straddle you, aligning your shaft with her core and sitting on your lap in one fine sweep. You moaned together at the feeling, her hands quickly held your shoulders and her hips were already rising up and down your cock.
"You have a lot of energy today, don't you? Then, let me milk you dry~"
And milk you dry she did with the way her hips slammed up and down, riding you hard and fast. Her tempo produced heavy and thick thuds of skin slapping, pounding down on you with all her strength. Langley was cockdrunk by now, one would think with the way she moved, but in reality she was completely sober and knew what she was doing. She fucked herself harder than ever before, enjoying the way your girthy cock filled her up.
The room was filled with messy moans grunts as you continued. You now had her carried against a wall, driving your cock inside with the same pace. It felt like there was an infinite surge of energy in you which made you want her and fuck her out of her mind. The meeting and the agenda was long forgotten, your mind hazy from lust as you only thought about fucking her.
You filled her up countless times by now, streams of cum going inside her so much that it was leaking out of her and the pistoning of your cock only spilled out more but you were ready to make up for it. One would think this was no longer the office of the Captain of Public Security Bureau, it reeked of a brothel filled with her moans and smell of cum. Neither of you spoke a word, but Langley's answer was on the tip of her tongue yet she wanted to delay it just to see how far you'd go.
"Ngggh! Langley.... come on! It's one answer I ask of you! Fuck— you are just enjoying this now, aren't you?! You just wanted to be fucked senseless!" you groaned as you were on the last bit of your strength, still drilling your cock inside her.
"Mmmh! That's it.... finally figured me out! So, fuck me like your life depends on it!"
It was a challenge, one which you weren't going to lose. None of you kept track of time when you were finally done, all you could see was that the sun was setting down. You rested on the couch together with her nestled in your arms like a lover, but the reality couldn't be further from it. Langley looked at you from the side then grabbed your jaw and planted a supple kiss on your cheek, her dark lipstick leaving a mark.
"Here's my answer. I don't sleep around with colleagues and officials, you are the only exception and always will be."
Your heart fluttered at her unexpected answer, all you wanted was a simple yes or no from her. Langley smirked sensing your silence then snuggled her head on your shoulder again, her hand caressing your thigh and leisurely pumping your softened cock. You let out a sigh and put your arm around her to embrace her.
"....Sorry, I got worked up hearing all those rumours...."
Langley chuckled, "It was an adorable state, I should cause it more~"
You rolled your eyes, "Fine fine. Anyways, want to take a shower here? I'll drop you wherever you have to go next."
Langley hummed, "I'll take up your offer then. You can drop me at my house~"
You smirked, "As you say, boss. Also, I agree to your orders. Tell me what to do next."
211 notes · View notes
smoooothoperator · 4 months ago
Text
What Was I Made For?
14: War Of Hormones
childhood enemies, forced proximity, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers (👀)
Warnings: đŸ‘€đŸ€­
a/n: HIIIIIIII!!!! The moment I thought about a title for this chapter I had it very very clear, and somehow it made me go back to my BTS era... ANYWAY!!! Hoping everyone likes this one hehe
IMPORTANT: If someone wants to give me ideas of names you are very welcome! And ideas for a gender reveal too, I want to make it special and include your ideas!
if you want to play a game and ask things about Dafne
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Every way of feedback is very welcomed
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Facing a change often brings a mix of emotions.
At first, there's a sense of uncertainty and anxiety, as the familiar comfort zone is disrupted. This can feel like a tightness in the chest or a knot in the stomach. Alongside this, there's also a sense of anticipation and excitement about the new possibilities and opportunities that change might bring. 
The mind races with 'what ifs' and potential outcomes, creating a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, of pros and cons, and doubts and hopes.
When Charles and I arrived at the house, the mix of emotions settled into a more tangible form. I tried not to think about the kisses he pressed on my knuckles or the squeezes he gave my thigh.
I knew something changed between us, that the tension was still there but it transformed into something else, something less forced and awkward. We didn't want to give a name to it, opting to stay quiet and only communicating with our eyes and smiles, with touches and acts.
While I made dinner, Charles changed clothes, fed my cat, and moved around the kitchen. I felt him behind me, watching over my shoulder, his presence a warm, silent pressure.
“Smells good” he whispered, close to my ear.
I took a deep breath before nodding and smiling, trying to not then my head to look at him. I just focused on the food in front of me and anything else. Not even his presence behind me. Not even his breathing against my hair. Not even his warmth.
“Thank you” I said, sounding more rough than I wanted, clearing my throat and swallowing thickly.
He moved away and in the moment I could finally breathe. 
God, this is going to be hard.
“Dinner's ready” I sighed, putting the food on plates. “I'm going to get changed”
“If you want, you can grab some of my clothes” he suggested, his voice soft.
“O-oh
 Don't worry” I nodded, blushing.
I walked upstairs and looked at the door of his room, taking a deep breath. Should I grab his clothes? He said I could
 And the bottoms of my pajamas barely fit me anymore. Yeah, maybe I can grab a pair of joggers.
I took a deep breath and sighed, opening the door of his room and then going to the wardrobe. When I saw the joggers I smiled, grabbing a pair, noticing that he came with many pairs. 
And then I saw it. The plushie. My cat plushie, the one I loved when I was a kid and thought I had lost. I extended my hand and held it, looking at it with wide eyes. It's my plushie, definitely. Washed, somehow fixed, but my plushie. 
I held it close to my chest, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes tightly, to prevent the tears from falling.
“I found it when you left from Greek” 
I gasped softly, turning around with the little cat still pressed on my chest.
“And you kept it all this time?” I whisper. “Charles
”
“I wanted to give it back to you so many times, but you always ran away” he sighed. “So I thought about bringing it for our baby”
“Oh, Charles” I smiled, placing my hand on my belly.
“I kept it all this time, just as a reminder of my first love” be sighed, walking towards me. “And when I went back home to grab clothes and bring them here, I found it in my wardrobe”
I smiled softly, watching how he walked closer towards me, placing his hand on my belly and rubbing it softly.
“I want the best for you and our baby, Dafne” he whispered. 
“And you'll be the best” I nodded. “Just
 Trust yourself more, believe in yourself”
He nodded and sighed, taking a step back, again.
God, no. I want him close, closer. I need him to touch me. I need his touch, so bad.
“Let's go have dinner” he said, walking out of his room.
I took a deep breath, getting changed quickly with his clothes and going to my room to leave my own clothes. I placed my plushie on top of my bed and smiled weakly, sighing.
Charles was already downstairs, with the plates already on the table in front of the TV. He was sitting on the couch looking at his phone, writing things on it.
“I was thinking
 I know we said that we were only going to tell Pierre about the pregnancy” Charles said, looking up at me and following me with his eyes. “But, I think it will be better if we just tell them through the group chat. Tell all the drivers. Just in case the media ask them things, so they can help us”
“Are you saying that we should lie to them too?” I sighed, sitting next to him. 
“They can help us, Dafne
 If we tell them that we have been dating in secret but our team didn't want us together, I'm sure they will support us” he said, holding my hand.
“Okay” I nodded, sighing. “I just
 I wish everything was different”
“Me too, believe me” he nodded.
We had dinner in silence, looking at the TV, and when we finished we just sat there. I felt his eyes on me, making me move and look at him.
“W-what?” I frowned, looking at him.
“Nothing” he smiled. “It's just
”
“Just what?” I make nervous.
“You are glowing” he smiled. “Really. Like, you were always gorgeous. But now? You look like a goddess”
“Idiot” I whisper, looking away, blushing. 
“What? I'm not lying, I swear” he smiled. “You look so beautiful, Dafne. So damn beautiful carrying my baby, and it's so hard for me to stop looking at you”
“And touching me?” I said, regretting immediately what I said.
“Touching you?” he laughed. “God, not doing it is the hardest thing ever”
“And why you don't do it?” I mumbled. 
“Believe me, I'm dying to touch you” he whispered, his voice sounding deeper than before. “I'm fighting myself to not do it”
“I told you that those lines can be crossed” I sighed. 
“No, Dafne” he sighed, shaking his head. “I can't”
I swallowed thickly and looked at him. What lines does he want to cross? 
I sighed, looking away and focusing on the TV screen, or at least tried to. But the way his deep voice sent me shivers was repeating in my mind, making me look at him sometimes, scanning his face with my eyes.
His beard is making him even more attractive, and his lips
 God, I don't remember how it feels kissing him, or even touching him. The night we had in Monza was something blurry, I barely remember what happened there.
I wish I could feel that again
 
No. No, Dafne. Stop it.
“I-I was thinking about start
 Well, nesting” I whisper.
“Oh?” Charles smiled, turning his head sand looking at me.
“Yeah, well
 I just, I guess it's time to start doing it” I sighed. “You know
 Buy things, start planning a room. The typical”
Charles never stopped smiling while hearing me, and he moved closer, sitting right next to me with his arm on the back of the couch.
“You want to raise the kid here?” he whispered.
“I mean
 I- I don't know” I sighed. “I have my apartment in Florence, and yours is in Monaco. I didn't think about it, actually
 Before you came I only wanted to stay here and never leave”
“But then I came and broke all your plans” he sighed, leaning on me to place his hand on my belly.
“Yeah” I sighed. “But
 I'm kinda glad you came. I think I needed to have you here, somehow. I can't do this alone, this is way harder than I thought
”
“Hey” he smiled. “We're in this together. I'll go wherever you want to go. You want to stay here? Then I'll come back here. You want to go to your apartment in Florence? Then I'll be there. I'll do whatever you told me to do”
“Thank you, Charles” I smiled, looking up at him.
I found his eyes, his green eyes looking into my eyes. He's so close, so close
 I can feel his breath against my lips. Only a few centimeters

“Cross the line” I whisper, my voice trembling with need. “Cross it
”
“Dafne” he whispered. 
“Please” I whisper, licking my lips, moving my hand to cup his jaw. “Please?”
He sighed, moving back and shaking his head.
“Is it because I'm pregnant?” I frowned. “You say I look beautiful, but you don't even dare to stand behind me, to hold me. Not even kiss me”
“No, Dafne” he sighed, messing his hair with his fingers. “It's not that”
“Then what is it? Please, tell me” I sighed.
“I don't want to hurt you” he said.
“Come on” I laughed, somehow trying to swallow the tears. “You are already hurting me whenever you stand close to me and can't even place your hand on my waist”
“I want to repeat that night!” he snapped, making me flinch, surprised. “I want to remember how it is to touch you, to kiss you. I want to remember how you sound when you moan my name and when you squeeze me. I want to do it over and over again. But I can't do it because I don't want to hurt you and the baby!”
I swallow thickly and look at him, standing up slowly.
“I
 I'm going to bed” he sighed. “Good night”
“Charles-” I mumbled watching him go, my heart aching in need of his touch.
But he was already walking upstairs, closing the door of his room.
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The bed felt cold and too big, an emptiness that hadn't been there before.
But what changed? Why does it feel cold and big now?
I sighed, turning again in the bed, facing the window, then looking at the digital clock. Five minutes passed since the last time I looked at it.
“Fuck” I groaned, sitting slowly on the bed and looking at the door.
I sighed, pacing the room. Should I go downstairs? Should I go to his room?
And before I could even think about it, I was already in front of his door, with my knuckles hitting the door softly three times.
I heard some steps seconds after knocking and then his door opened.
“Dafne?” he murmured.
“I can't sleep” I whispered back.
“Is the baby kicking hard?” he whispered, placing his hands on both sides of my belly.
“N-no
 No” I whisper. “I just
 Can you sleep in my bed? Please?”
“Dafne
” he sighed, stepping back and shaking his head, his conflict evident.
“Please. The baby seems calm when your hand is on my belly” I whisper. “And well, I feel good too”
I heard him sigh and I just closed my eyes, taking a step closer and wrapping my arms around him. 
“Look
” I sighed. “I'm going crazy, okay?”
“What? Why?” he whispered, and I sighed in relief when he wrapped his arms around me too.
“Because the fucking hormones are killing me” I groaned. “You just can't say that you want to fuck me and make me moan your name. You really can't do it”
“Dafne
” he sighed.
“You think I don't want to?” I whisper. “Hell. Something changed between us, I know. And it's going so fast that it's scaring me. You know I hate changes, that I hate doing new things. You know how bad it was for me when I moved to Ferrari
 And know what is changing is how I look at you”
“But I don't want to hurt the baby, Dafne” he whispered, placing his hand on my head. “I don't want to do something wrong and hurt the baby”
I swallowed thickly and hugged him tighter, with my belly between us.
“Tomorrow morning, we'll go to a doctor” I whisper. 
“Hey, no
”
“Yes” I whisper. “I have to go anyway, hm? We will see our baby and then we'll check if everything is alright. And we'll ask the doctor everything we need to know”
“Are you sure?” he whispered.
“The hormones are making me horny, Charles” I laughed nervously. “You know how embarrassing it is?”
He chuckled softly, rubbing my back. He rested his chin on top of my head, taking a deep breath and playing with my hair.
“Let's go to bed” he sighed, pulling away and holding my hand, walking us to my room.
I smiled sleepily, holding his hand tight and then rubbing my belly, taking a deep breath when I saw Charles walking inside of my room and going straight to my bed.
“Left?” he whispered, making me nod.
He moved the covers of the bed so he could lay on the left side, opening the covers for me to lay next to him.
“Hold me” I whispered looking at him. “Please?”
He smiled and nodded, moving closer. I followed his movements with my eyes, taking a deep breath to ignore the anxiety of the situation. 
“Can I
 Can I try something?” he whispered.
I nodded looking at him. He smiled and took the covers out looking at me, his eyes asking for permission.
“Go on” I whisper, feeling shivers all over my body.
A soft gasp escaped me as his hand gently lifted my shirt, revealing my belly. His hand, warm and gentle, began to rub my skin.
“There it is” he whispered, smiling amazed.
Until now, the only person that touched my bare belly besides myself was the doctor that told me the news, who had to do a scan to check if everything was alright.  And now, looking at Charles admiring it, only makes my heart beat faster.
I flinched softly when I felt his hand on my skin, but relaxed immediately when he started rubbing it. His hand is so big, practically covering my belly with it.
“Hey baby” he whispered, his voice filled with pure love, making my heart jump. 
He's talking to the baby.
“It's me, dad” he smiled, moving on the bed to be face to face with my stomach. “I can't wait to meet you, little one. Really, I can't wait”
I took a deep breath and placed my hand on top of his head, burying my fingers on his hair and closing my eyes when I felt his lips on my stomach, pressing tender kisses there. He wrapped his arm around my hips, rubbing his thumb over my stomach.
“I just
 God, Dafne. This is the best thing you could ever give to me” he whispered looking up at me. “A kid
”
“Yeah” I smiled. 
“And in part it makes me hate myself for all the pain I gave you” he whispered. “And how bad it was the moment we made it
”
“The past is the past” I sighed. “Let's forget it, okay? Let's just focus on what we have now, on this chance of be the best version of ourselves”
He looked at me and smiled, resting his chin on top of my belly, carefully. He held my head and kissed it, taking a deep breath before pressing a new kiss on my belly button.
“Saying thank you is not enough for everything you are doing” he whispered. 
I smile weakly and squeeze his hand softly, taking a deep breath.
The way he looks at me is new. How he kisses my belly, how he closes his eyes when he does that. How he smiles, rubbing the tip of his nose and making me giggle softly.
“Come on, let's sleep” I whisper, yawning softly.
He smiled and nodded, moving to be in front of me but not pulling down the shirt. His face was in front of mine, his eyes looking into mine.
“Hi” I whisper smiling, biting my lip softly.
“Hi” he smiled.
I looked at him and took a deep breath, placing my hand on his jaw, rubbing my thumb over his cheek.
“Dafne
”
And then I did it.
I leaned in, my hand cupping his cheek as I pressed my lips to his in a kiss that held all the emotions I had kept locked away, deep inside of my heart. The kiss was soft at first, tentative, as if testing the waters. But then it deepened, fueled by the months of longing and tension that had built up between us.
Charles responded immediately, his arms wrapping around me and pulling me closer. The kiss was a release, a breaking of the dam that had held back our feelings for so long. My fingers tangled in his hair, my body pressing against his as I poured everything into that moment.
When we pulled away, both of us were breathless, resting our foreheads against the other.
“I told you that you can cross all the lines you want” I whisper, making him chuckle softly.
“I want to cuddle you” he whispered, making me nod and smile.
“All the times you want” I smiled, closing my eyes and letting him get comfortable in my bed beside me.
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The next morning, his hand was under my shirt, gently rubbing my belly just as he has done last night.
I groaned softly, moving closer to him and feeling his warm chest on my back, sighing happily.
“Good morning” he whispered, his lips brushing my shoulder, making me smile. “How did you sleep?”
“Amazing” I whisper, turning my head, looking at him.
“That's good” he smiled, pressing his lips in the corner of my mouth. “So
 What are today's plans?”
“Well
 We can go to the village” I sighed, turning around slowly and hugging him. “Ask the doctor to have a fast appointment, meet our baby, and maybe go buy things”
“Mhm, sounds nice” he smiled, kissing my forehead.
The tension left my shoulders the moment he kissed me back last night, and this morning, and during all the times he woke up at night pressing a kiss on my shoulder.
“And we should call Fred
” I sighed, biting my lip when I heard him groan. “I know, I know
”
“It's just
” he sighed, pulling me closer. “I'm so happy in this bubble we’re in. I don't want to mess things up. I just
 Can't we wait a little? Just a few more days”
I looked up at him and smiled weakly.
He's right, we are in a bubble, ignoring the outside world, just focusing on us. For once, we were acting like normal people.
“Alright” I sighed. 
I took a deep breath and hugged him, resting my head on his chest and wrapping my arm around his waist. As I tangled my leg with his, he flinched slightly.
“Eh
 Wait” he whispered, tensing.
“What? What’s wrong?” I frowned, following his gaze. “O-oh
”
“Y-yeah” he sighed.
I swallowed thickly and moved, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks.
“I mean
” I whispered, looking up at the ceiling. “I could
”
“No, no” he said quickly. “God no, not yet. Just
”.
He sighed, sitting quickly on the bed and getting out, going to the bathroom of my room.
So that's what happened yesterday too. He had to leave the bed quickly because of his morning hood. 
“Fantastic” I groaned, covering my eyes with my arm.
I heard him opening the water of the shower, then his groans. God, if only
 I could help him.
I got up from bed and grabbed the joggers I was wearing, walking slowly to the door of the bathroom and knocking on it.
“I'm going to make breakfast” I said, opening the door a little. “And I'll call the doctor to see when we can go”
“S-sure!” he gasped.
God
 Send help.
I shook my head, rubbing my belly while I walked downstairs to get our breakfast ready. When I finished, and noticing that Charles didn't get out of the bathroom yet, I called the doctor to set an appointment.
“Hey” Charles sighed, walking inside the kitchen with an awkward smile. “Look
”
“I could have touched you, Charles” I whispered. “I could have help you, you didn't have to go to the bathroom and hide”
“I know, I know” he sighed, standing in front of me, and something inside of me threw a party when he placed his hands on my hips. “It's just
 I want to do it all, okay? Go all in”
I smiled weakly and looked at him, nodding. He leaned closer and pressed a soft kiss on my forehead, making me close my eyes and breathe deeply, smiling when I recognized the shower gel I use.
“I called the doctor” I said. “We can go whenever we want, she's free this morning”
“Oh?” he frowned, surprised. 
“Advantages of being near a village that doesn't have over a hundred of people living there” I smiled softly.
“Oh, okay” he smiled. 
I looked up at him, smiling while leaning on the counter. He placed his hands on my sides and leaned slowly, pressing his lips on mine, kissing me softly and slowly, with no rush.
“I can't believe I can do this” he whispered against my lips before kissing me again. “I've dreamed of doing it for so long
 For tasting your lips again
 It's been a while
”
I pulled away slowly, looking at him with a sad smile.
“All this time?” I whisper.
“Since you kissed me in Greece” he smiled. 
I smile softly and peck his lips quickly. He pulled away and helped me grabbing the breakfast, placing it on the table and sitting in front of me. 
Time went by fast, and before we noticed, he was already parking his car in front of the medical center of the village, holding my hand and waiting to get called.
“It will be okay” he whispered, placing his hand on my knee after noticing how I was bouncing it nervously.
“I know” I whisper.
“Dafne Morelli?”
We stood up, still holding hands, as the nurse called my name and led us into the consultation room. An older woman sat behind the desk, smiling warmly as we entered.
“It was a surprise for me when I heard your voice this morning through the call” she said. “You must be Elena's daughter, right?”
“Y-yeah” I smile weakly.
“Well, let me tell you that I was your mom's doctor during your little sister's pregnancy” she smiled, making me gasp softly. “She was one of my first patients
 God, how fast time flies, hm?”
I smiled nodding slowly, looking at her. She gestured to us to sit on the chairs in front of her desk.
“He might be your husband, hm?” she smiled looking at Charles.
“O-oh! No, no! We
 We are not married” I gasped, shaking my head. “But he's the father of the baby”
“Oh good to know” she smiled, winking at us. “Well, tell me. How is it going?”
I took a deep breath and told her everything. My career, how I found out I was pregnant, how far, what the first doctor said
 Everything.
“Well, then let's take a look on the bed, yeah?” she smiled.
I nodded, getting up followed by Charles. He helped me sit on the high bed and then I raised up the jumper I was wearing, taking a deep breath when the doctor grabbed the gel. I flinched when she spread it with the stick and immediately held Charles hand.
“Well, well
 Let's take a look” she smiled, looking at the screen. “For what I can see you are around the week 17, close to the fifth month. Right now, your baby is of the size of a pear”
“Yeah” I nodded, looking at Charles.
“Do you know the gender?” We shook our heads and she smiled. “You want to know?”
“W-we
 We actually wanted to do a little gender reveal, so if you could print the results
” Charles said softly, squeezing my hand.
“Oh, sure!” she nodded, pressing a button on the keyboard and then the printer started working. “Are you ready to look and hear your baby?”
Charles and I looked at each other with a smile, holding our hands tightly. We nodded nervously, taking a deep breath before the doctor turned the screen to us.
“Here, there is your baby” she smiled, moving the stick over my belly again and making the picture of the screen change.
I gasped, tears immediately springing to my eyes. It was so small, but so perfect. I turned to look at Charles, his eyes wide with amazement, a soft smile tugging at his lips. He was speechless, just staring at the screen in awe.
And then we heard it. A steady, fast and rhythmic thumping filled the room: our baby’s heartbeat. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.
I looked back at the screen, mesmerized by the tiny life growing inside me, and then back at Charles. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears, his expression one of pure joy.
"That’s
 that’s our baby" he whispered, his voice choked with emotion.
I nodded, unable to speak through the lump in my throat. I reached up and wiped away a tear from his cheek, my own tears streaming freely down my face. 
"Yes, that’s our baby," I managed to say, my voice trembling with happiness.
The doctor gave us a moment, letting us soak in the incredible sight and sound. 
"Everything looks perfect," she said, her voice gentle. "The heartbeat is strong and steady."
The doctor printed out a couple of ultrasound images for us, and Charles held them carefully, as if they were the most precious thing in the world. 
"Look at this," he said, showing me the tiny, grainy image. "Our baby."
"Our baby," I repeated, feeling a sense of peace and happiness wash over me.
I smiled, feeling his lips against mine before he pulled away and grabbed some napkins to clean my belly, taking the chance and kissing my belly quickly.
“I
 Well, we wanted to know some things” I said nervously, holding Charles' hand.
“Oh, sure” she nodded, writing on her laptop.
“W-well
 Is it if we
 Well” I mumbled blushing, looking at Charles.
“Oh! Oh, yes” she laughed softly. “Yeah, I get it. Young love! Of course you can. It's safe for the baby, don't worry about it”
“Oh, thank you” I nodded, sighing ashamed.
“Cuties” she chuckled. 
I blushed and looked at Charles, biting my lip. He held my hand and grabbed everything the doctor gave us and walked out with me.
“Well, what do you want to do now?” Charles smiled, holding my hand tightly.
I took a deep breath and looked at him, biting my lip. 
“I
”
And then a flash. Flash of a camera. Then another. And another.
“Fuck” Charles groaned, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and walking quickly towards the door of the car, helping me get in.
I looked around surprised, watching the small number of paparazzi taking pictures of us. Then they called our names, taking more pictures.
“Shit” Charles groaned, getting in the car and driving quickly away from the village. 
“H-how? How did they find us?” I mumble, looking back through the mirror. 
“I don't know” Charles groaned. “Are you okay?” 
I nodded quickly, placing a protective hand over my belly and then holding his free hand.
They found me. They found us. 
The three of us.
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taglist
@racinggirl @elisysd @alltoomaples @ssprayberrythings @rach3164 @yvonne-dump @deliciousfestsalad @janeh22 @hc-dutch @ninifee1802 @kakorrhaphiphobia @ssararuffoni @itsjustkhaos @scaramou @tapedeck-hearts @apollosfavkiddo @sltwins @glitterquadricorn @ladystardust05 @theseerbetweenus @vizzzashley @auawdo @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @leptitlu @green-thots @caterinemirandax_ @mid5nights @harrysdimple05
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hide-your-bugs-away · 13 days ago
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posing together.........
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The Alan Price Set- Simon Smith And The Amazing Dancing Bear 1967
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piracytheorist · 2 years ago
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I love how even silly short missions manage to have their share of wholesomeness and family connection. It's like family is important in a series called Spy x Family or something.
Anyway, Anya is a kid that gets very attached to certain things - and despite being bold enough to use the knowledge she has due to her telepathy in order to make Loid do what she wants, she's not exactly a spoiled kid. She still sticks to Mr. Chimera, the only toy she had while she was in the orphanage. She doesn't ask for new clothes, or toys, or gadgets, what she asks for is experiences (the castle rescue, adopting Bond in specific after she was emotionally invested in him)... and peanuts, too.
So to her, the penguin plush is not just one toy from her plethora of toys that got ruined. It's a toy that her dad got for her. It's a souvenir of their aquarium adventure, where she helped him locate the penguin he needed to find and even arrest the criminal who wanted to get the secret information about the weapon. It's a reminder of how she took part and helped him in his mission. Just a replacement stuffed penguin won't do. It's not the toy itself, it's the memories connected to it. I mean, of course she's sad a toy of her got destroyed - by the dog she asked to have, no less - but it hurts even more knowing what this toy means to her.
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And the show takes Anya's feelings seriously with that. The soft "Little by Little" score plays while Loid fixes the penguin, with Yor looking with anticipation. Bond feels sad and regretful, understanding the consequences of his actions and wanting to make it up to Anya. They're all invested in things getting better.
And once the penguin is ready, though with visible "scars" now, Loid reassures Anya that his new appearance is nothing to be ashamed of.
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And the interesting thing? Twilight, Best Spy of Westalis, Master of DisguiseTM... stutters. He does so in Japanese both in the manga and the anime.
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Which makes me wonder, considering his background and profession, how big his experience with scars is (and if we're gonna learn more about that, come on give the whump fan some scraps here 👀👀) (pls don't spoil me about the manga if we do, I want the whump but on its own time!) and if reaching into his own personal feelings about scars in order to resonate with Anya hit him just a little more than he expected. Or if he was so serious about it that he didn't know whether he should tell her something so grim. He's here dedicating himself into a deadly dangerous job so that kids like Anya won't have to suffer like he did as a kid, and yet he has to pass on to her something he learned the hard way.
Yeah yeah I'm here putting too much thought and grimness into what was supposed to be a wholesome moment. Hi I'm Nette and you'll be getting a lot of those in the future :)
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books · 6 months ago
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Writer Spotlight: Rose Sutherland
Rose Sutherland @rosesutherlandwrites is a Toronto-based writer who grew up a voracious reader with an overactive imagination in Nova Scotia (where she once fell off a roof trying to re-enact Anne of Green Gables!). She's been to theatre school in NYC, apprenticed at a pñtisserie in rural France, and currently moonlights as an usher and bartender—in between writing queer folktales, practicing yoga, dancing, singing, searching out amazing coffee and croissants, and making niche jokes about Victor Hugo on the internet. She's mildly obsessed with the idea of one day owning a large dog, several chickens, and maybe a goat. A Sweet Sting of Salt is her debut novel.
Keep reading for more about character arcs in A Sweet Sting of Salt, Rose's favorite fanfic tropes, and some excellent reading recs 👀
Can you tell us about A Sweet Sting of Salt and how you came to write it?
A Sweet Sting of Salt is a queer (f/f) historical reimagining of the classic folktale of the selkie wife, set in 1830’s Nova Scotia. I call it a “reimagining” because while it draws on the folktale, it’s not a retelling of that tale so much as a story playing out in relation to that mythology. I’d wanted to write something centering a love story between two women for a while, but the initial spark came from a Tumblr post! It suggested the idea of selkies testifying before the UN as victims of human trafficking, which reminded me of all the things I disliked about the original folktale and its inherent darkness that is generally glossed over, starting me down the rabbit hole toward finding my own story.
How did you approach research for A Sweet Sting of Salt, and what is a favorite historical fact you learned?
I joke that I did a lot of research by osmosis: I already had a lot of base knowledge about the location, having grown up in Nova Scotia, and then set the story in a period that I’ve been absorbing information about in a low-key way for ages—1832 is also the year of the student rebellion in Les Mis, so I’ve been gleaning tidbits about this era since I first got into the musical and book back in high school. However, I had to do more specific research into things like British divorce law, period midwifery, and animal husbandry. I also visited some small, hyper-local museums on the South Shore that gave me an invaluable glimpse into daily life. I also did some fun practical research into things like “How long does it take to walk from x to y?” and “How cold IS a plunge into this body of water in March?” (Spoiler: Very.) 
A fact that fascinated me but didn’t make it into the book was that some early European settlers in the area were granted lands by luck of the draw, pulling from a deck of playing cards: Each card was assigned to a specific 50-acre lot, and whatever you pulled, you were stuck with it.
When we meet them, Jean and Muirin are isolated for different reasons. What do you hope readers still searching for their people take away from A Sweet Sting of Salt?
That there’s always hope. It’s valuable and important to keep reaching out to the world around you, to be open, and not cut yourself off—the biggest reason for Jean’s loneliness at the beginning of this story is the way she has come to keep everyone around her at arm’s length, shutting herself away out of fear, and refusing to let anyone truly get to know her because she thinks that’s the best way to protect herself from being hurt again. Reaching out to others can take a real act of courage, especially if you’ve had bad experiences in the past, but “your people” will reach back to you.
Found family elements play a strong role throughout the novel, within supernatural and mundane settings and across species. Was this something you intended from the beginning, or did this grow out of writing the relationship between Jean and Muirin?
I always intended for Jean to have a found family of this type, which is something that a lot of queer people identify with, but those bonds also got stronger and more meaningful as I wrote, especially once Jean and Muirin began growing into their own family unit—their new relationship and the real danger that comes along with it put pressures on Jean’s other relationships that I hadn’t originally considered. Disagreements with Anneke and Laurie over Jean’s choices arise from their deep concern and love for her, and her own love and care for them, reflected in her responses, is a big part of what made them feel like a real family, for me. Jean and Laurie always having each other’s backs while also being the first to call one another out on their bullshit ended up being one of my favourite dynamics in the whole book.
The selkie myth carries an inherent element of transformation. What is a character transformation you most enjoyed writing, and why?
On a character level, the change in Jean’s worldview following a conversation with her childhood sweetheart meant a lot to me—it heals an old wound for her. I love how grounded and self-assured she is afterward, in spite of the daunting task still ahead of her. But my favourite transformation to write was the antagonist’s mask-off moment, where they directly threaten Jean for the first time. It’s so sly and coded so that only she will understand the menace behind it, a real dun-duh-dunnn moment, which was a lot of fun for me—I also enjoy the foreshadowing elements in that exchange.
This is your debut novel. Did anything surprise you about getting it from manuscript to published book?
Oh my gosh, how LONG it took! After I finished the original draft and decided it was worth attempting to publish, I spent over a year revising based on my own thoughts, input from beta readers, critique partners, and my mentor, Maureen Marshall (whom I connected with through the now defunct Author Mentor Match program, and whose book, The Paris Affair—about a young gay engineer attempting to help Gustave Eiffel secure the funding to build a certain celebrated Parisian landmark— is coming out in May). After that came a full year of querying agents and getting rejected. A lot. People loved Salty but weren’t quite sure what to do with her or where the book would fit in “the market,” which was hard to deal with at the time but is hilarious in retrospect: Salty was snapped up less than a month after she finally went out on submission! But that was back in 2022, and the book is only coming out now. Publishing can be painfully slow.
You’ve written fanfic in the past—do you have a favorite fanfic trope?
I’m not sure either of these counts as a trope, but I adore a character that’s “pure of heart, dumb of ass”, and love a truly unhinged Fanon Explanation For Canon Object. As a longtime Les Mis stan, I ship Tholomyes/Getting Punched. If you know, you know.
Do you have any favorite queer retellings of folktales you can recommend?
Right here on Tumblr, I’m a huge fan of @laurasimonsdaughter, who writes delightful riffs on classic folktales, truly inventive urban fantasy spins on old lore, and her own original folktales. 
I’m currently reading Spear, an amazing queer, gender-bent, Arthurian novella by Nicola Griffiths. Anna Burke’s books Thorn and Nottingham are up next on my TBR. Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of brilliant queer historicals that aren’t retellings (I recently loved Suzette Meyr’s The Sleeping Car Porter and Heather O’Neil’s When We Lost Our Heads) and wonderful historical retellings that aren’t queer (I highly recommend Molly Greeley’s beautiful, heartbreaking Marvelous, about the real-life couple that inspired Beauty and the Beast). Queer, historical retellings aimed at adults seem to be considered quite niche, still, and can take some digging to find! So, throwing this out to Tumblr: Do you have recommendations for me?
Do you have a writing routine? Is there a place/state of being/playlist you find most conducive to your writing practice?
My routine is chaotic at best, but I find I do my best work earlier in the day, so I usually scribble in my journal while I have breakfast, and then progress to working on my current project as I drink my second cup of coffee. I’m lucky—my day job is an evening gig, which mostly allows me to write on my preferred schedule
 but I’ve also been known to have a bolt of inspiration strike at 10pm and dash home to write until well past midnight on occasion. Nothing quite like the hyperfocus zone!
What’s next for you? Are you working on anything you can tell us about?
No official news yet, but I’m currently working on a story set in 18th-century provincial France based on a true unsolved mystery of the past. It has me delving into a very specific branch of French folklore, and I hope future readers will pick up on common threads with one popular fairytale in particular. I’m really excited about where this one is headed, but keeping the details close to my chest for now!
Thank you Rose for taking the time to answer our questions! If you love queer fantasy and old folktales, grab yourself a copy of A Sweet Sting of Salt, and be sure to share your queer folktale reading recs with Rose on @rosesutherlandwrites!
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seventeenpins · 5 months ago
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the stranger the better
pairing: Dieter Bravo x Reader word count: 5.6k summary: Dieter gets tentacles. That's the fic. content/warnings: uhhhh this one has a whole lot: importantly--TENTACLES!, lots of viscous body fluids, slight dubcon due to tentacles with a mind of their own??, buckets of cum, piv, tiv 👀, dieter is a switch, sex parasite, anal, masturbation, body horror, idk they're freaks and it's great, reader has a vulva but gendered language is not used a/n: this is basically just a crackfic that i've taken far too seriously. Also, shoutout to Ozzie @ozarkthedog for listening to all my dumbass thoughts and helping me finally get this finished!! â˜șïžđŸ˜š
Dieter doesn't know exactly how the idea came to him, but he knows the important bits. It was, he reasoned, a sign- nay, a prophecy. He wishes he could replicate the exact cocktail of stimulants and psychedelics that allowed him to see this glimpse into greatness, because the results were eye opening.
Somehow, the universe injected into him an understanding of That Which He Sought.
He sketched it, painted it, utilized every descriptor he could think of, and sat down his PA, Todd, using every medium he had adequate command of to illustrate as clear a picture for his employee as was possible.
He was very thorough.
Todd, who Dieter often found unsettling due to the degree to which he was able to stay entirely un-rattled by anything, raised an eyebrow.
(Dieter didn't want to ruin the moment, but this was a fucking win.)
The PA's first response was "Excuse me, you want me to find you something that definitely doesn't exist because you had a drug-induced hallucination about it?"
On day five of Dieter waxing poetic, Todd needed it to end. He was already well adept at navigating the dark web--this was not the first time Dieter had had him track down something weird--but he had absolutely no doubt that Dieter was about to get scammed for a whole lot of money.
No skin off my nose, he reasoned, and negotiated the definitely-not-legit sale anyway. Whatever Dieter wants, Dieter gets. Hopefully, he'll be willing to accept the truth when no magical prophecy thing materializes at his door.
It's over a month later, when Todd feels confident nothing would turn up, and just as Dieter begins to accept this crushing defeat, that a strange, perfect cube of a parcel arrives.
It was a sleek box that felt somewhere between aluminum and heavy cardstock, with a heavier, equally sleek box inside. Something about it seemed almost extraterrestrial.
Todd placed it on the least cluttered corner of Dieter's immensely cluttered coffee table and made a prompt exit. If this thing was somehow the thing Dieter was after, he didn't want to be present for even a minute of the aftermath.
Hours later, when Dieter discovers the parcel, his heart begins to pound. With shaking hands, he unwraps it.
It's a bitch to open, almost akin to one of those puzzle boxes, but even more confounding. There are no visible seams. No obvious opening. He's halfway ready to take a hammer to it when, all of a sudden, it unfolds itself in elegant, silvery, petal-like plates.
Inside is a glass-like cube. Glass-like, but definitely not glass--it didn't have enough weight to it. Not plastic, either. The density wasn't quite right. Inside the cube is a strange, pulsating something.
It's the thing from his dream.
The pulsing thing is a little revolting, but mostly intriguing. (Todd would argue the reverse.) Shape wise, it's grub-like, maybe a handspan long, with its body made up of many near-identical segments. Both ends of it taper to a rounded bulb, and both ends are absolutely dripping with some sort of viscous fluid. No flared base, Dieter notes, and then decides it’s a nonissue.
As well as being, well, somewhat disgusting, it's also quite beautiful. It's iridescent, reminding him of some kind of shimmery beetle. It looks soft, and with every strange pulse, the sheen catches the light and throws rainbows in all the crevices of its little body.
Dieter immediately pops the weirdest boner.
For a man who's impulse control is about as ingrained as his commitment to abstinence, he's incredibly proud that he manages to wait until after this Friday's particularly tedious production meeting wraps up before getting started.
He has this weekend off, and gives everyone on his team the weekend off too. When the last person steps out the door, he locks up and promptly gets naked.
If his prophecy is anything to go off of, he expects this to get messy.
The shower pressure is perfect, and the temperature is just right. Slowly, tenderly, he works himself open. Sometimes he does this even when he doesn’t intend to put anything in his ass, sometimes it’s just for the sensation. This time, though, he absolutely does. 
He isn’t sure if he should run the -thing- under the tap first, cause it’s dripping so profusely he’s worried he’ll shoot it across the entire length of the bathroom like an errant bar of soap. In case the lubricating properties are necessary to the efficacy of the process, however, he holds it gently but firmly with one hand as he lifts it out of its, fuckin, transparent aluminum box, holding his other hand beneath it.
It’s slippery, that’s for certain. And when he presses it against the rim of his asshole, he experiences a very new feeling.
It wriggles. As if the nose? Tail? Indeterminate-and-hopefully-not-sentient-end of the thing seems to respond with enthusiasm the second it’s within sniffing distance of his favorite hole. He feels it pulse in his hand, gushing more of the fluid. For a moment, he’s certain the thing is going to evade his grasp and slip away but instead, as if burrowing, it slides itself up, up and away.
Dieter suddenly feels very full.
If he’s honest, this isn’t quite how he expected it to go. He thought he’d be more involved, for one. For another, he didn’t realize it would scurry so quickly into his butt. He thought he’d be able to hold onto it a little. Fuck himself with it. 
Gently, he presses a finger into himself to see if he can feel where it’s gone. Nothing. He switches from his pointer to his middle finger, slightly longer than the former, and presses even deeper, spreading his cheeks with his fist, sinking in as far as he possibly can.
He doesn’t feel it.
This may be precipitating a (not unfamiliar) ER trip, but he’s not ready to give up yet. Besides, this thing seemed at least a little organic. The likelihood of it perforating his bowel seemed pretty safely nonexistent, so maybe this one can be something of a wait-and-see.
Besides, maybe this is just the process! Little in life was actually straightforward, and his vision was pretty nebulous.
Maybe, to move it along, he needed to start by busting a nut. So he takes his cock in hand and starts pumping, feeling the hot spray of the shower on his back, working out all the kinks.
He’s hard, yes, and it does feel good. But after fifteen minutes of stroking himself, he realizes he isn’t experiencing pleasure, nothing that’s building or arousing, which is in itself a new experience. He can always feel pleasure. It’s the goddamn thing that’s gotten him into trouble more times than he can count.
Now, however, the shower’s started to run cold, his dick’s rubbed raw, and he’s no closer to an orgasm than he is to becoming an elected official. He’s been beaten by his own meat.
It’s absolute bullshit, but as he feels himself start to panic he manages to tamp it down a little. Nothing good will come from spiraling. Instead, he luxuriates in covering his entire body in a particularly wonderful-smelling body oil (for combination pampering and sore skin smoothing) and smokes a fat, fat joint. 
This was Tomorrow Dieter’s problem. 
He gives himself a couple more half-hearted tugs, just in case the oil makes a difference. It doesn’t, and it kind of burns, but he can at least go to sleep knowing he did the best he could.
Tomorrow’s a fresh start.
He slips into bed, takes a moment to appreciate the fabric against his bare skin. With a sigh, he drifts off to sleep.
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Hot midday sunlight blasts through the gaps between the blinds. He should really get some of those non-gappy blinds installed. Or drapes. Nothing beats a good drape.
As he wakes up, something feels
 off. He tries to sit up, but there’s something of a mass at his abdomen. He tries to brush it away–probably some detritus he’d left in his bed and forgotten about. Instead, though, the mass doesn’t budge. Instead, he’s suddenly overwhelmed by an intense, blinding pleasure. It hits him and takes over everything, and by the time he comes back down a whole minute later, he’s certain he must’ve just creamed his pants.
He pulls back the covers to check. 
Instead of the view he expects; his fat, hard cock, thighs, and tummy coated with cum–he finds a writhing, twisting heap of squirming tentacles.
He must still be dreaming.
Dieter slams his eyelids together. Presses the palms of his hands against his sockets till his vision goes brown and black spotty. Opens them again.
The tentacles are still there. 
Not knowing what else to do, he reaches out and touches one of them, gingerly. The same blinding pleasure hits him again. It’s only a gentle touch but already he knows that this isn’t just some wayfaring
 squid that’s decided to make a home on his belly.
Nope.
This is definitely a part of him now.
He tries tensing and untensing his core muscles. One tentacle slaps out and hits the bed. Another two tangle themselves together. A fourth smacks against one of his nipples and, with a viscid sucker, pulls a desperate whine from him. Though some of the tips seem to always be emerging from him, he’s able to unfurl even more at will. He’d only noticed seven tentacles at first, then tensed, and a second row exploded from him while the outer layer smacked against the bed like a radial motif made of party horns. He thinks there might be even more. A third layer? A fourth?
When he’s able to relax a little and re-focus his attention, shaking, the inner layer sucks back in and he notices that the outer limbs have the same rainbow iridescence as the thing. Of course. Of course!
It takes time, more than an hour to start separating the new sensations from one another. To divide the writhing limbs and control them each individually. When he finally manages to high-five each of his outer tentacles, one-by-one, he’s certain he has at least enough control to avoid causing injury.
By this point, his cock is aching. He wraps two of the lowest tentacles around his length. The tentacles are thick, but his dick is too. They’re quite cold in a way that’s actually delicious. It feels like the cousin of the sensation he experiences when he slips ice cubes in his ass, only way, way more intense.
Just like that thing, too, the tentacles are dripping with the same viscous slick.
He works himself up. It's so intense, soo much stimulation, he half-expects to cum in a fraction of the usual time.
Instead, he finds himself hours later on the verge of tears, not a single orgasm in sight. 
His body simply will not allow him to cum.
It’s miserable, and clearly a horrible, horrible mistake. Will he be like this for the rest of his life, rife with tentacles and unable to clutch at his own pleasure? His dick is sore, having tugged at himself with every limb available. He has sucker marks on his nipples and throat. One tentacle is still squirming around inside his tight little hole and still he can’t reach his peak.
He needs a fucking break.
And maybe some food.
He checks the time. It’s later than he thought, nearly dinnertime. He’s spent his entire day on this.
He starts to formulate a new plan. Order food. Eat. Hydrate. Maybe he’ll scroll through his phone for booty calls and see if he can pinpoint one single person who might not get him sent away to Area 51. Maybe it makes a difference with another person? 
He barely thinks as he fills up his virtual bag and places an order. Leaves a massive tip because he’s getting into hangry territory and needs his food now. 
He shoots Todd a quick ‘I have tentacles now’ text, and closes his eyes.
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It’s been a long day. A bit slow, which makes you itchy, but it hasn’t been too bad.
You’re about to call it a night. Grab yourself a bite to eat, and curl up at home.
Then your phone vibrates in your hand.
A delivery order pings on your phone and the tip is substantial. It’s incredibly close to you, too. You accept immediately, not wanting anyone else to get to it first. The tip alone can keep you afloat till after rent is due.
You rush, heading to the restaurant and, miracle of miracles, it’s a quiet night. The restaurant’s already working on the order and it’s only a matter of minutes before it’s ready to go. 
Twenty minutes from accepting the order, you’re walking up the footpath through a well-manicured succulent garden. The house is ostentatious. An enormous lazy river wraps around the home, and you have to cross over a bridge to get to the fucking door . When you get closer, though, you notice surprisingly beautiful carvings, spandrels, and various other decorative details that make it more than just a generic multi-million dollar cookie cutter home. It’s weird, but it has personality to it.
You get to the door and check the order details. It’s not a no-contact delivery. Instead, the message reads:
very sleepy. need food. 1) knock, if no answer 2) ring doorbell, if no answer 3) bring me food and wake me up and i’ll double the tip for your trouble the door code is 6969
Frankly, it seems a great way to get lured in by a wealthy eccentric and hunted for sport, or recruited to join a cult, or something else equally unfortunate. But self-preservation has never been a priority for you, and life is made to be lived.
You knock. You really want him to open the door himself. Even with permission, going in feels like an enormous invasion, and especially if this guy is sleeping, you really don’t want to tiptoe through this stranger's house.
On the other hand, though, you really can’t see yourself turning down that tip, if it comes to that. Definitely lends itself to your ‘this person is crazy’ theory, but you’re committed. You’re seeing this through.
You knock a second time and wait. Nothing.
Thankfully, after ringing the doorbell, you hear the shuffle of soft footsteps. The lock clicks and turns, and a moment later, you’re face to face with a rather disheveled individual.
His hair is mussed, sticking out in all directions, and, you realize, he looks familiar.
But it only takes a moment to forget that thought entirely.
At first, you hadn’t noticed that anything amiss. He was wearing a striped dressing gown over a crop top and sweats. The stripes, though, looked like they were rippling. And it wasn’t an actual crop top, either, no; the shirt had just been pulled up to accommodate what was on his midsection.
It took every effort not to drop the bag of food when you realize what it is.
“Oh,” he says, noticing your expression. He rubs at his temple, infinitely exhausted as he looks you up and down.
“You’re-” you start.
“Yeah, I’m Dieter Bravo-” he finishes.
You blink, shaking your head. He is in fact Dieter Bravo, you realize, but that doesn’t seem like the most significant thing happening here. “You’re covered in tentacles.”
“Oh,” he says again. “Yeah. I guess they are tentacles."
“Um, are they
 yours?”
He shrugs, disinterested.
You fumble to find something to say, instead giving up and thrusting his bag towards him. 
He takes it after a moment.
“Thanks,” he says, not making eye contact. 
Apparently, putting on a robe was this man’s idea of concealing them. Now, he’s not trying to be discreet. The tentacles unfurl, most of them hanging heavy from his abdomen, nearly brushing the floor. Several, however, reach into the food bag and withdraw a burrito and a sauce container.
"Are they--" you watch as two of the tentacles start to unwrap the burrito. The foil tears a bit more than he intends, and then he dunks it a little too heavily into the sauce, which shoots out from the grasp of another tentacle. Salsa verde splatters everywhere. The limbs’ movements are apparently uncontrolled. "Are the tentacles new.. to you?"
He sighs. "Yeah. They just showed up this morning."
You’re not sure what to say. “Huh,” you venture.
“Yeah,” he agrees. But then he looks at you, surveys you, and narrows his eyes. He seems like he’s weighing something.
“Uh, this might be weird, what with this-” he gestures at the tentacles, “Situation. But-”
He hesitates, and you nod, encouraging. “But what?”
Dieter winces. Takes a deep breath, and lets it out.
“Do you wanna have sex with me?”
You look at him. At his tentacles. This is admittedly a lot. It’s almost certainly a bad idea.
But you made a promise to yourself and to your best friend years ago: If you ever have an opportunity to fuck an entity that has tentacles, you’d better say yes.
And it’s Dieter Fucking Bravo. You’re not backing down now.
“Yes I do.”
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It starts surprisingly gently. You lean towards him and he cups your cheek in a broad hand, pulling you in.
This isn’t your first time kissing a stranger. If you’re honest, it’s something of a hobby of yours, so the experience of feeling a new give-and-take was familiar despite its novelty. 
What you’d never experienced before, however, was that from the first moment his tongue stroked into your mouth, you felt the most delicious pull.
You were already a little excited, but before even a moment had passed, you now felt yourself drench. Your pussy was drooling, the slick pooling between your legs.
You’re certain he can feel it too.
What had been a look of pleasure and curiosity twisted  into absolute hunger. You swear you can see his eyes dilating. After a moment, you’re certain yours must be, too. The room suddenly feels too bright.
Whatever disinterest he’d shown when you’d turned up at his door has dissolved, replaced with an urgent enthusiasm. “Fuck I’ve been needing this all day.”
From the front door, all down the hallway to the bedroom, a trail of clothing marks your path. 
Between kisses he explains.
“Ever since-” a kiss, “the tentacles–”
You grab him by the hair and he moans.
“I can’t cum. I’ve tried, for hours-”
You hop on one leg and then the other, peeling your socks off as Dieter steadies you by the waist.
“Been jacking off all day-,” he peels his own shirt off, hands flying frantically to make quick work of his clothes, “But I think I need someone else. My body just won’t work. Been hard as fucking rock but nothing happens-”
You slip an arm around his waist and drag your teeth along his collar, grinning when he melts into you.
“You poor thing,” you tell him, and you look in his eyes when you make your promise; “I’ll try and help, much as I can.”
"Amazing," He grins. “I feel better already.”
Dieter’s entirely bare, but you’re still wearing clothing. Something, you both realise, is passing between you. It’s a strange electricity that heightens every sensation. You feel the scruff of his beard against your cheek, you feel your underwear soaked. When he pinches at your nipple, you nearly howl at the pleasure that washes over you. 
As you feel each touch, the sensation builds in a way that’s totally alien to you. He shoves a hand in your pants and groans when he feels the thatch of hair at your cunt. He rubs two fingers along your slit, not stimulating your clit and not even trying to. He’s just warming up what feels like every single nerve ending in your entire vulva till you’re bucking against him.
He pulls his hand away and touches a finger to his tongue, tasting you. Two tentacles make fast work of the button of your jeans. Another wraps around your waist, lifting you up from the floor and suspending you in the air to peel the denim from you, unceremoniously tossing the garment behind you somewhere.
He’s fully naked. His cock hangs heavy and a little to the right, and there’s so much precum, it streams down his thigh where his tip meets the flesh of his leg.
You reach forward and wrap your fist around him. At your touch, he shudders. It’s a beautiful, desperate noise, and already, there’s so much more slick leaking out of him that any suspicion that this amount of oozy fluid isn’t normal is entirely confirmed. You wrap your hand around his length and he melts into your touch with a whine. 
The tentacles wrap around you. You’re not sure how many there are, and their movement is fast and intentional. The man in front of you is essentially a walking sex toy from your sickest, wettest dreams, and you will not waste this.
You reach for one of the tentacles, whatever is nearest to you. For a moment you think it’ll pull out of your grasp, but then it relaxes at your grip. You stick your tongue out and lick the tip, getting the suckers at the end nice and wet. Then, you realize it’s superfluous; the tentacles themselves are already leaking, oozing a pearlescent, cum-like fluid. For all you know, it is cum.
With your thumb, you swirl the slick around one of the larger suckers, and look Dieter right in the eye when you pull one of your bra cups down and press the sucker against your nipple. With barely a flick of effort, a tendril unhooks your bra, pulling it off of you before slicking up your other nipple and pulling a throaty moan from you.
His breath catches just watching you. It’s perfect suction, slick and firm and oh-so steady. 
“How many do you think you can take?” He asks, pink-faced and restless. The flush is so endearing. He looks desperate.
“Give me all you’ve got,” you tell him.
He whines and hisses. You think he might be deliberating, but after a moment it’s like a switch has flipped, releasing any inhibitions he may have held onto, unlocking his filthy tongue.
“Lemme see that wet little snatch,” he purrs, “That’s it, open those legs for me-” 
As if simply willing it–and that may as well be all that it takes–you both watch as one of the fat tentacles splits from the tip, sticky goo trailing between the trifurcated ends like an aloe vera leaf sliced apart. The three new tips writhe apart before slamming into your mouth. Two others pluck at your skin, marring the soft flesh of your inner thighs.
You yelp, muffled, as your legs are spread wide by slick, strong limbs, smaller tendrils prodding at your slick panties before giving up and tearing them apart. Elastic slips loose from your hips, and the gusset of the underwear is a ragged hole.
He steps closer, holds you effortlessly. You’re suspended by a whole mass of tentacles, the suckers pulsating against your skin, dark purple blooms beginning to bruise beneath them. Dieter’s face is so close to your cunt, your first instinct is to close your legs. He holds them open further, though, and breathes deep. “You smell like a fucking dream,” he praises, running a think finger along your folds, dipping in gently, stroking along you, finding where you’re most sensitive.
After a thorough examination, he steps back. “Gonna play with you, baby,” he tells you.
"Jesus Christ", you breathe. The tentacles in your mouth slip out and another tentacle presses at your opening. It slips with a lewd squelch and little resistance, pumps in a couple times, and pulls out to wrap around Dieter’s cock. He strokes himself with the slippery tentacle and lets out a groan.
"Feels like fucking heaven," he breathes, and another tentacle replaces the first, plunging into your cunt and pulsating, filling you so nicely, making you shake. 
You fight against the flutter of your eyelids. There’s so much sensation it’s hard to keep your eyes open, but you need to see him. Need to see this.
“Can you feel with them?” you ask, “With the tentacles?”
“Hmm,” he ponders, “Yes, but–” he slips a second tentacle in with the one already probing your hole and you feel very full. They twist and turn, writhing, pumping in and out of you. You’ve barely gotten started but you can already feel yourself start to build. At this rate, you’ll be squirting all over him in absolutely no time at all.
“I feel it,” he tells you, “And it feels really good, like, fuuuckkk–but it feels like it’s not just me controlling them. It is me, but it’s more than just me. I don’t know how else to explain it.”
“Then don’t,” you smile, “Just fuck yourself with them the same way you’re fucking me.”
He lets out another whine. It’s cute, really. Only a minute ago he’d been telling you what to do, and with the slightest prodding, he seems eager to obey. You could get far too used to this.
“C’mon, baby,” you coax, your hips canting, thrusting against the slippery tentacles pressing deeper, deeper-, “Keep going just like that. And open yourself up, too.”
He groans, and two tentacles move around him to start spreading his cheeks. A third prods tenderly at his hole.
Just as a third tentacle presses into your cunt, and another is gently pressing it’s suckers up your throat and holding you in place, Dieter is rendered incoherent as one thick tentacle shoves its way into him. Immediately, he sees stars. If this was the result of an entire day of edging, it was more than worth it.
You’re rutting against the tentacles that are fucking you, meeting each thrust. There’s a pulse pumping through each limb, making you feel impossibly full. When you look at Dieter, you’re certain you can see the bulge of a tentacle in his belly, filling him up so full.
You barely have time to process the build of your arousal before the tip of one of the tentacles suckers against your clit and another twists inside you, hits you in just the right way, and you tip over.
Cum spurts from you, your entire body convulsing. You try to close your thighs, try to pull away from the sensation, but you’re still being held aloft and spread out, fully bared. Instead of stopping or slowing, the tentacles only fuck into you faster and deeper. You can’t stop coming, certain at this point you’ve made a whole damn puddle on the floor beneath you.
Dieter watches, transfixed by the entire show that’s played out before him. He’s red-faced, his skin mottled with purple bruises, cock so hard it looks painful, and has a trio of tendrils ass-fucking him.
When your orgasm finally, finally tapers off, you almost expect your holds to release you. A new hunger stirs in you, though, and when you’re still held tight, you’re oddly grateful for it.
Dieter lowers you, pulling you towards him. He kisses you, open-mouthed and messy, groaning into it. After a few moments he pulls away from you, slick lipped and panting. When he speaks, his voice is raspy and desperate, a monstrous echo following it to create a bizarre, two-tone sound.
The tentacles that aren’t already on or in you both start whipping around, grabbing for purchase and pulling away as if they can’t make up their mind.
Dieter pushes you back. Starts to withdraw.
You hold him in place.
Now you can see his eyes.
They’re totally black. Even the sclerae are gone, murky with inky swirls, glassy and wide and beautiful.
“I- I think you need to leave,” he begs, “It’s too much. They’re taking too much from me.”
You reach out to put a hand on his cheek, and he leans in for a moment before flinching away.
“No!” He hisses, “You need to go. It feels too good, it won’t let me stop. I won’t be able to stop. I don’t know how far it’ll go, but if you don’t leave, I don’t think I can stop it.”
Warmth and clarity floods you. You’re not sure how much is your own mind, and how much is this thing that’s taken over, but it’s sweet, really.
He thinks you could stop if you wanted to.
“It’s okay,” you assure him, and you feel the way he melts, feel the way the tentacles stop fighting and start wrapping around your limbs again, their grasp pulling tighter and tighter, “You take what you need.”
With a sob, he lets go.
The tentacles set you down. Your legs shake, and you barely have time to blink before he’s on you. Any distance you had is gone now, his hands grasping at you, his body flush against yours. You can feel the weight of his cock against your thigh, the strength of his arms holding you. He’s steadying you, or maybe steadying himself. The skin-to-skin contact feels so fucking good and, if the way his hands fly all over you, you’re certain he feels it too.
One big hand grabs at your breast, the other clutching the flesh of your hip. He grinds against you, messy and sticky and so, so delicious. 
He settles you back against a surface, seats you and spreads your legs with his strong hands. A tentacle grabs at your jaw almost tenderly, plucking at the skin, holding you gently.
Dieter lines up his cock and sinks into you, groaning at the hot wet clutch that sucks him in. The surrounding tendrils wrap around you both. You’re certain there are still tentacles fucking into him, but you think another might join, right at the same time you feel the slippery tip of one prodding at your own asshole.
You relax into it, nod to let him know you’re ready, and moan as you feel the slimy length penetrate you. Dieter moans, too, entirely lost in the sensation.
He fucks you fast and deep. You’ve never felt fullness like this before. The pump of the tentacles into both you and Dieter matches his rhythm. 
“Fuck-” he croaks, desperate, “Think I’m getting close-”
“That’s it, baby,” you soothe, “Makin’ me feel so fucking good. Come on, baby, come for me-”
He pulls you into him, presses his lips to your in a kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth, longer and deeper than it has any right to be. It’s a tentacle, too, you realize, and you moan into the suckers that have started pulling at your tongue. It’s disgusting and absolutely exquisite.
He only manages two more thrusts before he explodes.
You feel his balls pulse, cum flooding your cunt. The tentacles pulse too, though, and soon your mouth is full, your ass, his ass. Like fireworks popping off in quick succession, every tentacle unloads, one after the next, painting the entire room in dripping swaths of cum.
He lets out a noise that sounds like something between a sob and a laugh, final blessed release at last reaching him. 
Dieter pulls out, but continues rocking against you, humping your thigh as his alien limbs continue to surge with spend.
After several long, sticky minutes, you unfurl from one another. With some distance between you, you’re able to see the damage that’s been done. The room is a disaster. You can literally see cum dripping from the ceiling.
Dieter’s looking around the room, too, but he doesn’t look concerned. No, he looks impressed.
“Well shit,” he surveys everything around him. “That was fun.”
You’re still catching your breath as he rummages around and procures a stash box. You can see a variety of substances; baggies filled with powder, assorted pills, a few things you don’t recognise, and a fat pouch full of bud.
He rolls a joint, licks the paper, packs it, and sparks it.
“So, uh-” you start, unsure where you’re going with it.
He beats you to it.
“You wanna stay over?”
You stare at him.
“I mean, it just seems rude to send someone home after sharing some life-altering tentacle sex, right?”
“I was unaware there was standard etiquette regarding tentacle sex.”
He shrugs. “All etiquette is just made up, right?”
A glob of cum drips from the ceiling and lands with a dull splat against the top of your head.
You burst out laughing.
Dieter’s eyes crinkle, and he’s laughing too.
He passes you the joint. You take it, wiping cum from your forehead.
“All right,” you tell him, “I’ll stay over.”
Dieter checks his phone, pulls up Todd’s text thread.
Beneath his tentacles text is Read 1:43pm. He rolls his eyes and follows it up.
you remember those cleaners? the good ones? the crime scene ones?
I need em
soon as they’re free
promise it’s not a crime scene this time
there’s just a lot of cum
After you’re both showered, you go to Dieter’s spare bedroom. Hazy from the weed and exhausted from the hands-down weirdest and best sex of your life, you collapse together.
Dieter’s tentacles look different. Smaller, maybe? Less hungry. Sated.
You fall asleep with his tentacles around you.
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When you wake up, his arms are around you instead, holding you close. His abdomen is bare, only skin left.
You start to wriggle, to turn over, but something’s in your way.
There’s something at your abdomen, blocking your movements.
Dieter begins to stir. He stretches, rubs his eyes, and takes you in.
“Babe-” he grins, “You’ve gotta fuck me with those!”
Your own set of shimmering tentacles slip and writhe from your body. You pull him close, suddenly hungry, and get to work.
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j0kers-light · 4 months ago
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what if y/n was an airhead... not necessarily super dumb but a little slow or ditzy... and a little dumb. but also very positive and carefree. basically a golden retriever type of person 😂 i just wonder what j would think about that 😂
Hey hi anon!! đŸ–€âœš
Oh this is gonna be fun. đŸ„° I love doing reaction head canons! Let’s GO!!!!! Don’t ask why I’m still up at 2am. I hope you enjoy anon!
The first time that Joker met you, he wanted to slash your throat so bad. How are you so positive and carefree? There's no way you're like this 24/7.
You are. Gods you really are. Joker questions your mental state because you are too kind to others and your naivety is so pure, you are considered a national treasure. He wants to taint you. Point. Blank. Simple.
How are you so joyful? Do you do drugs? You're always smiling, offering up words of encouragement, and soooooooo many hugs to strangers. You are wayy too bubbly for J's tastes.
Too often you remind Joker of his ex Harley and he refuses to do that all over again. He considers breaking up with you because you're just so... ditzy.
Your attention span is that of a goldfish, and you literally stop to smell the roses while out and about. You even play peek-a-boo with children you see on the street. End his misery please. 😭
But despite the constant headaches you give Joker, he can’t seem to stay away. He’s addicted.
Frost and the boys stare at Joker in horror when you visit the hideout (unannounced) with a basket full of baked goods; blissfully unaware that a goon almost shot you for trespassing.
This is the girl their boss is dating?!!?!? HOW? It’s giving peak grumpy x sunshine energy because you and Joker do not compute.
BUT. IT WORKS. The laws of the universe bend to make it happen and Joker cannot thank them enough for placing you in his life. He wouldn’t be the same without you.
You know you can be an airhead at times but Joker reins in your overly bubbly persona. He's always looking out for you and not allowing anyone to make you into a pushover.
In return, you encourage and offer Joker the love and support he secretly needs while quelling his more violent tendencies.
You calm his anger. He keeps you focused. đŸ”„âœš
You're still his Light although it stands for Sunlight in this scenario and you get a sun tattoo behind your ear in honor of it.
Joker is grateful that you are nothing like Harley. Yes you can be annoying at times but you mean well in the long run.
Its not just obsessive loyalty and toxic love; you genuinely care about Joker and you push him to become a better man every day.
And the feeling is mutual. Joker does not tolerate anyone making fun of his sunlight. He kills anyone who insults your intelligence and anyone that makes you cry, mysteriously disappears.
Joker is the only one who can call you silly or dumb because it’s not an insult when J says it. đŸ„č
You giggle anytime he calls you silly girl or his dumb little slut. AND l OOP! SORRY ! I forgot this was sfw!! 👀👀 MOVING ON đŸ‘©đŸœâ€đŸ’»
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Speaking of you barging into the hideout with baked goodies. That actually happened.
Everyone was shocked when you knocked on the door with a loud, "HELLLLLOOOOOOOO! J are you in there? I brought snackies!"
No one knows how you navigated this deep into Joker’s territory without being murdered. No one knows how you bypassed the building’s security.
You just waltz in like you own the place, bringing an aura of joy and happiness in your wake.
Joker was in an important meeting, discussing how to eliminate a rival popup gang when he heard your heels clicking down the hall. He knows that sound from anywhere and his face turns white.
A goon is right behind you threatening you to leave or else, when you just causally walk into the meeting room, blissfully unaware of the danger you are now in.
Do you even notice all the guns trained on you? Nope, you only have eyes for Joker. You stop yourself from tackling him with a hug.
"There you are J! Oh. Are you busy? Well not anymore!! I baked muffins, and cookies, and oh!” You finally acknowledge the room full of men.
You blink twice before smiling wide. “Hi everyone!! Does anyone have a peanut allergy? I made treats with and without nuts just in case!”
An entire room full of dangerous criminals stare in disbelief as you unload your wicker basket right onto the table, all while humming a song.
They all turn to stare at Joker who is ready to crawl into a hole from embarrassment. He doesn't even know where to begin there's so much to unpack here.
How did you get here all by yourself? Who let you in?! Why did you bake so much?! Is that a pain au chocolat?
Surely you sense the threat around you but no. You are so oblivious, it’s almost sad to watch.
Some brave soul does announce their allergy and you quickly deliver them a nut free brownie on a pink napkin.
Your naĂŻve personality triggers an understanding in the room and people start to lower their weapons in exchange for treats.
By the end of your impromtu visit, Joker's gang is obsessed with you and your baking. And so the questions start pouring in.
"Y/n you’re so nice! How is someone like you with the boss?"
You look up from handing a goon a cookie, "You mean J? Oh!" You look away bashful as they all wait for a response. Even Joker is intrigued with what you’ll say.
“I’m not the smartest girl in Gotham but Joker doesn’t care! He’s the most patient person I’ve ever met and he never belittles me! How could I not love him? He’s so protective too! He always murders the mean people who make fun of me. Isn’t he so romantic?”
The room goes silent after that last bit. And so it all starts to make sense.
“Great. She’s crazy too." One guy whispers.
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