#very hard to make him look angry while still trying to keep the smile

[milestonekestrel]

do u guys understand him

[punkshort]

i know who you are | 9. the end

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Joel leaves overnight for a scouting mission. When he returns, you finally confess your feelings for him.

Chapter Warnings: language, amnesia, slow burn, dry humping, some dead bodies 'n stuff, fluff, feelings, smut (18+ MDNI), piv unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), soft!joel, guns?

WC: 9.1K

Series Masterlist

A/N: Two things. One: I don't have the slightest clue how memory loss works and if what I am about to detail in this chapter is even plausible but if television has taught me anything, nothing is impossible only extremely rare. Two: this is the final chapter and it makes me very sad. I wish I could have thought of more storylines to drag this out but at the end of the day, I feel good about how it all came together and I can't thank quite literally hundreds of you enough for reading this each week. It's kind of insane. So, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! Also, if anyone wants to toss some one-shot/sequel ideas my way, I am all ears. Much love.

Two Weeks Later

"Joel," you whispered, your head tilted back into the couch cushion while his mouth greedily nipped and sucked at your neck. His hips were grinding lightly against your center and you knew if you didn't stop soon, you would be in trouble. "I think we should slow down."

"Mhmm," he mumbled in agreement, reluctantly pulling his hand from underneath your shirt.

"You're lucky it's still cold enough for me to wear a scarf," you murmured into his hair. He sighed against your neck, finally dragging his mouth away and sat up on the couch while yet another movie went unwatched on the TV.

"Can't seem to get enough of you," he said with a grin, his arm stretching over the back of the sofa. You rolled your eyes dramatically but smiled, pushing yourself up and fixing your shirt before looking at the TV. "Brad Pitt's in this?"

Joel tossed his head back and laughed heartily. "Think he's the main character," he told you, and you scowled at him but he could tell you weren't actually angry.

"Well maybe if you didn't distract me every time we try to watch a damn movie, I would know that."

The past two weeks had been downright perfect. Joel couldn't be any happier. Now that things had changed between you, he craved your touch constantly. Part of him wondered if it was his way of trying to make up for lost time because you weren't wrong: he couldn't keep his hands off you. He had no desire to leave the house or see anybody. All he wanted was to stay holed up with you doing absolutely everything and nothing. He shuddered to think how crazy he would become when you were finally ready to take things further. Tommy will have to drag him by the collar from your bed for his patrol shifts.

"What are you thinking about?" you asked him, leaning into his side and tucking your legs underneath you, only half listening to the movie.

"Patrol," he answered while the tips of his ears burned red from embarrassment, like you caught him doing something he shouldn't be doing. He was perfectly fine waiting as long as it took until you were ready, but it didn't stop him from fantasizing about it. And the fact that he already knew what you felt like, what you sounded like, what made you come undone, worked him up even more.

"How are you feeling about getting back out there?" you asked, tipping your head up to look at him. He didn't seem worried but it was hard to tell sometimes.

"Actually, there was somethin' I wanted to talk to you 'bout," he admitted. "And if you don't want me to do it, I won't. I put you through enough shit as it is-"

"Spit it out, Miller," you said, shifting out from under his arm.

"Now that the snow's melted, I wanna take a couple guys and scout the area for any trace of those raiders," he began, watching your face closely. "I won't go far, but..."

"But?" you pressed, raising an eyebrow.

"But I would be gone overnight. Just one night," he assured you quickly when he saw your face.

"Wouldn't the others have already noticed anything out of the ordinary on patrol?" you asked as anxiety began to squeeze your throat. "I don't understand why you need to go out there."

"'Cause I only trust myself to make sure we're safe," he explained. "If somethin' happened to anyone 'cause I led these assholes to our doorstep, I'd never forgive myself. D'you understand?"

You chewed on your lip and glanced down at your lap as you weighed your options. On one hand, you understood where he was coming from. And if no one else on patrol or guard had yet to see or find anything strange, then Joel would most likely not find anything, either. But on the other hand, just simply leaving Jackson was a risk. And even if Joel didn't find any other raiders, he wouldn't mean he would be safe from whoever or whatever else was out there.

Joel pinched your chin and gently tugged your lip from between your teeth, making you snap out of it.

"Can I go with you?"

Joel's face softened. "No, baby. You don't even remember how to shoot a gun. I can't risk it."

Of course, he was right. "Who would you take?"

He smiled and dropped his hand. "Tommy. Neil. George. Couple others offered, too, but I'm not sure how many we wanna bring. Don't wanna stick out like a sore thumb with ten horses out in the middle of the woods."

You relaxed a bit knowing he would be going with some of Jackson's most seasoned patrolmen.

"Okay," you agreed softly. His face lit up and he leaned forward.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," you sighed, looking over at the TV as the credits began to roll. He hooked a finger under your chin and dragged your eyes back onto him.

"Thank you," he whispered before pressing his lips firmly against yours, trying with all his might to pour every ounce of affection and adoration he had for you into the kiss. You giggled against his mouth as he tried to push you onto your back once again, but you playfully shoved his shoulder before breaking the kiss and scooting away.

"We told Ellie we'd meet her and Dina for dinner, remember?"

He groaned as if he were in physical pain and reached out for you but you quickly stood up, wagging a finger at him. He gazed up at you from the couch with his brown eyes all wide and gentle.

"I mean it, thank you. I don't know what I did to deserve you."

You blushed and bit your lip as you slowly walked backwards towards the stairs. "You can make it up to me one day."

Joel's gaze darkened and he dug his fingers into the couch cushion. "Just say the word, baby. Anytime. Anywhere."

You laughed and turned towards the steps. "Come on, we should get ready for dinner."

"In a minute," he said as you disappeared upstairs. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to will his raging hard on away before standing up and following you.

You inhaled deeply, your body heavy with sleep as you struggled to focus on Joel's voice.

"Sweetheart, I'm leavin'."

With a groan, you rolled over and reached out for him blindly, your eyes still not fully adjusted to the beam of light shining in from the hallway.

He smiled and grabbed your hands, wrapping them around his neck. He felt your fingers dig into the back of his neck and shoulders as you feebly attempted to pull him towards you.

You asked him to wake you up before he left for his scouting mission, so he did as you requested but you were so warm and soft and supple under his touch that he was finding it impossible to leave.

Maybe you planned it that way.

"I'll be back late tomorrow. I love you," he whispered, pressing a kiss against your temple, taking an extra moment to savor it. When he pulled away, your fingers tightened around his neck and you lifted your chin, kissing him with an urgency he hadn't expected from your half-awake state.

"Come home to me, Joel," you mumbled, your eyes squinting at him through the darkness. He pulled an arm from around his neck and brought your knuckles to his lips.

"Promise."

It was so hard to leave but he kept reminding himself he was doing it to keep you safe. Regardless of what Tommy thought, something in his gut told him they hadn't seen the last of those raiders. He brought them into the mountains, and he was determined to be the one to finish it.

"I'm still surprised she let you do this," Tommy said a few hours into their travels. George was leading the group while he and Tommy brought up the rear. The forest was silent, save for the birds just beginning to wake in the branches above. After a long, painful winter, it was a relief to hear the first signs of spring.

"What'dya mean let me?" Joel scoffed, but when he locked eyes with Tommy, who was giving him a look that said he saw right through his bullshit, Joel grinned. "Yeah, alright, it took a little work but she understood."

Tommy nodded and went back to paying attention to their surroundings. They were officially in unguarded territory, the nearest patrol route now miles behind them. The trees had yet to fully bloom so it was still rather easy to see through the woods.

"I think you really freaked her out when you left," Tommy said, "she came runnin' to the house that mornin' in a panic. Thought she wouldn't let you leave her sight again after that."

Joel hummed and turned his head so his brother wouldn't see his smile. He didn't want to worry you, but every time he heard something like that, it reminded him how much you cared, even if you couldn't say it just yet.

"So, you two back to normal now or what?" Tommy pried. Joel shot him a look and he shrugged. "We got a long journey here. We can't talk to pass the time?"

"Yeah, mostly back to normal," Joel finally answered, shifting his weight in his saddle. He could already feel his lower back beginning to flare up. "Takin' things slow. Givin' her as much time as she needs."

Tommy nodded, reading between the lines. "Didn't look that slow the other night after dinner," he muttered under his breath, but Joel still heard him.

"She had a couple drinks, is all," he replied with a chuckle. He scratched his chin as he thought back to a few nights prior when you had draped your arms around his shoulders and your face buried against his neck for the better part of thirty minutes. It was late, all of the families had cleared out after dinner, leaving behind the adults to kick back and cut loose a bit. It reminded Joel of a time before the world went to hell. When he and Tommy would go to a bar on a Friday night, the smell of stale beer and cigarettes in the air while the patrons had to shout over a mediocre cover band playing Lynyrd Skynyrd. It was the first time in a long time he felt relaxed and at ease. He watched his brother and wife across the bar steal kisses around conversations with neighbors, grateful for a night out as Ellie had offered to babysit. He had you at his side, sipping whiskey and making a face before you switched to something else.

As the night dragged on, you got a little closer. Then your hand found his knee under the table and you tilted your head into his shoulder, quietly listening to him discuss the plan for the trip with George. He wrapped an arm around your waist but his focus was entirely on George, too concerned with the map he had spread out over the wooden table. George's wife finally came to collect him, telling him she was tired and he was too old to be trying to keep up with the younger men, shot for shot. She wasn't wrong by the way he stood up and stumbled a bit, leading him towards the door, leaving just the two of you at your table. Once you were alone, your arms snaked around his neck and you tugged him to your lips, your tongue greedily licking into his mouth, the heavy taste of whiskey and gin on your combined breath.

"You sure it was just the drinks? You don't think it had anythin' to do with Angie sittin' two tables over?"

Joel's face flushed and he cleared his throat. It shouldn't turn him on but he couldn't help it. He liked it when you were possessive over him.

"Didn't think it wise to ask," was all he said. Tommy chuckled.

The group made decent time. They had a grid in mind and they almost reached their desired destination by sundown. When morning came, the plan was they would make their way back towards Jackson and cover the northeast quadrant of the map.

As they set up camp for the night, deciding to forego a fire since the temperature was comfortable and they didn't want to risk giving away their location, Neil commented that they hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary so far.

"Not that I mind coming out here, Joel," he followed up quickly, "always a good idea to take precautions and all that."

Joel nodded and focused on spreading out his sleeping bag. "I appreciate you all comin'. Not sure if I say it enough, but I'm grateful."

Neil and George exchanged surprised looks at the unexpected appreciation.

They got an early start the next morning, and as the sun rose higher in the sky and more ground was covered, Joel began to wonder if maybe they would make it back to Jackson sooner than he thought. He really hoped they would. Even if it was just one day, he missed you. He hated sleeping without you. He hated waking up and not finding you curled up against him with your head resting on his chest or his arms wrapped about your waist, face buried against the back of your neck.

He was glancing around the forest, wondering what you were doing right at that very moment when he spotted something orange in the distance. His heart rate picked up and he whistled, catching the group's attention. He pointed through the trees and they all silently slid down from their horses. Checking their weapons, they fanned out and slowly made their way towards the scrap of fabric. As they got closer, Joel could see it was a knit cap stuck in a bush, fluttering in the wind. None of the men saw any other signs of life, each of them silently communicating with hand signals they were taught years ago.

Tommy heard shuffling and he held up his hand, bringing the group to an immediate stop. From his angle, Joel could see that the bush with the knit cap was right outside the opening of a small cave. The way the trees had grown around the rocks, it was impossible to notice it from a distance.

The perfect hiding spot.

He exchanged worried looks with Tommy before they crept closer, his rifle gripped tightly in both hands, ready for anything. The shuffling got louder and clearer and it became apparent that the noise was coming from right within the mouth of the cave. Catching Tommy's eye, he made sure to show him he was putting his rifle away in favor of his hunting knife. He always preferred a silent takedown over wasting ammunition, but just in case it went sideways, Tommy would be ready to cover him.

Joel situated himself next to the mouth of the cave while the other men, spread out amongst the trees, hid and waited. He reached down and grabbed a rock, throwing it about ten feet away to draw out whoever was hiding.

He didn't even need to see it to know what was waiting for him.

When the rock cracked against a tree trunk and he heard the telltale snarl of infected, he tightened his grip on his knife. The runner stumbled out of the cave with a shriek, jaw snapping angrily in the direction of the noise. Joel had run into his fair share of infected over the years. He knew the noise would have drawn the attention of any infected in the immediate vicinity, and when he only spotted one, he almost breathed a sigh of relief.

He took it down silently with a blade to the back of the head, then inspected the body. It looked fresh, the clothes mostly intact. The rest of the men joined him as they peered inside the cave, listening intently for any movement. When they heard none, they began to advance.

The cave wasn't very big but it was enough to house ten men. At least, that's the number of bodies they found, not a single trace of life left.

"Well, shit," Tommy muttered, kicking one of the mangled bodies with his boot. "Guess that hunch of yours was right."

It didn't exactly please Joel to know he was right, but at least it was the best possible scenario. The men were taken out by infected probably within the past week. He counted the bodies five times. Then recounted the backpacks and sleeping bags. Ten seemed to be the correct number. No one was missing, assuming the runner he had just killed was the only raider who had the misfortune of turning instead of dying right away.

They scavenged what they could from the dead bodies before trekking back to the horses.

"Keep your heads up. Don't mean there ain't anythin' else out here," Joel warned.

"The warmer weather must've thawed out some infected," Tommy mused next to him. Joel nodded.

"Probably should warn the others to keep their guard up the next few weeks," he replied. "Maybe add an extra body to the towers if we can."

Tommy nodded in agreement. The winters in the mountains were harsh but at least they saw a decrease in the undead.

"Now let's get the hell home," George said over his shoulder, the rest of the men mumbling in agreement. Joel ducked his chin to his chest to hide his relieved smile. Home.

To say you were happy to see him return was an understatement. It was closer to ten at night when you finally heard his heavy footsteps on the front porch.

"Told'ya I'd come back," he chuckled when you wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him tight.

"I know," you mumbled into his shirt. His heart swelled in his chest and he closed his eyes, breathing deep the smell of your shampoo. You both had a lot of work to do, essentially starting over and building a relationship from the ground up, but it was moments like those that made him believe everything was going to work out.

"Are you hungry?"

"Nah, just need a shower," he said, dropping his pack by the door and kicking off his boots.

"So I take it you didn't find anything?" you asked, trailing up the stairs behind him. He walked into your bedroom to grab a fresh set of boxers and sweatpants.

"Actually, we did," he began, and your heart plummeted. He saw the look on your face and quickly shook his head. "They were dead by the time we got there. 'Bout ten of 'em holed up in a cave. Infected got to 'em first."

"Oh, wow," you breathed, slowly sinking down onto the bed. "Well, at least you have peace of mind now, right?"

"Exactly," he said, giving you a quick kiss before heading into the bathroom. "Be out in a minute."

You heard the water turn on and you glanced over at the red flannel of Joel's that you slept in the night before. Even though it was clean, it still smelled like him. You glanced at the closed bathroom door and bit your lip, your heart fluttering in your chest as you thought things over. The morning he left, you wished you had told him but you were too sleepy and you wanted it to be more meaningful. Then, when you woke up and his side of the bed was ice cold, you felt the dread begin to creep up your spine. What if something happened and you never told him how you felt?

Well, nothing happened. He was home now. Safe and sound. There was no reason not to tell him.

You heard the water turn off and you jumped up to grab his flannel and scurried out of the bedroom, across the hall to the other bathroom, shutting the door.

Joel emerged a few minutes later with his wet hair slicked back wearing just a pair of sweatpants, per usual. He tossed his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and looked around. He noticed the closed door across the hall and assumed you were getting ready for bed so he slid between the sheets with a groan. He closed his eyes and took a moment to appreciate the mattress underneath him instead of the unforgiving forest floor before leaning over to grab his glasses and a book.

When you tiptoed back into the bedroom wearing only his flannel, he didn't notice at first. His focus was on the small print in front of him, blinking a few times and wondering if he needed stronger lenses when you cleared your throat. He glanced up and did a double take, his lips parting in shock when he saw his red flannel hugging your curves, the hem falling just below your ass.

You looked up at him and feigned surprise. "Oh, is this okay? I was cold-"

"Yes," he swallowed, immediately cutting you off, "it's okay."

You smiled and made a show of bending over to fix the sheets. Again, he swallowed tightly when he caught a glimpse of your black underwear and he felt his cock twitch. Before you turned around he made sure to be focused back on his book, although he was most definitely not absorbing any of the words on the page.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw you peel back the sheets and with a sigh, you tucked yourself in. You glanced over at him, admiring his strong side profile and the way his glasses perched on the tip of his nose.

"I missed you," you whispered, and he dragged his eyes from his book to look at you.

"I missed you, too."

You caught the way his eyes flicked down to your chest where you purposely left two buttons undone so you exposed a little bit of cleavage.

"What are you reading?" you asked, and he laughed through his nose.

"I've got no fuckin' idea."

In a flash, his book was discarded and you were in his lap, your mouth hungrily devouring his as he carefully removed his glasses and tossed them to the side. He wrapped both arms around you and held you close to his bare chest, his tongue licking past your teeth eagerly.

"You look so fuckin' good in my clothes," he growled, sounding as if it pained him before biting at your jaw.

"I wore your shirts the whole time you were gone," you admitted, rolling your head back and grinding down on his hips. You bit your lip when you felt how hard he was already. "Almost the whole week. I slept in your bed and-"

"Fuck," Joel groaned, grabbing your face with both hands and feverishly plunged his tongue into your mouth. You moaned and grabbed his shoulders, the intensity behind the kiss growing too hot. You could feel yourself tumbling, free-falling into the abyss with the unspoken words sitting heavy on your tongue, hoping Joel would be there to catch you.

"Wait," you gasped, pulling away, but only a little. Your forehead still rested against his as you both panted for air.

"I know, I'm sorry-" he was about to apologize for taking things too far when you cut him off.

"Do you remember all those months ago when I asked how I fell in love with you?"

Joel nodded. "Yeah."

"Do you remember what you said?"

He tilted his head back, lips parted as he gazed up at you, wondering why you were asking him those questions in that moment.

"Yeah," he replied slowly, "I said you're gonna have to wait to find out."

You bit your lip and with a shaky hand, you traced one of the wrinkles next to his eyes. "Well, I found out."

His chest stilled, breath caught in his throat as he processed your words. His eyes roamed over your face, hoping and praying he wasn't misunderstanding. When you saw him nervously swallow, you smiled.

"I love you, Joel."

His eyebrows pinched together and before you could see the tears welling up in his eyes, he pulled you down for another searing kiss. This time, he went slower. He savored every second, he memorized everything he possibly could about that moment because the way you made him feel hearing those words was unlike anything he ever experienced and he didn't want to take a single second for granted.

"I love you, too," he choked. He could feel you smile against his lips when he pressed his mouth against yours again. "Fuck, I love you so much," he mumbled, his hands falling to your hips, "I'd do anythin' for you."

Your mouth latched onto his throat and you dropped your hand between your bodies, your fingers lightly stroking him through his pants. And once again, you felt his muscles stiffen and freeze.

For a moment, the self-doubt crept in. What if he didn't want to? Was he too tired? Was he not ready? Then his hand covered your wrist and you watched as he slowly dragged your hand up and down, showing you what he liked. Encouraging you to continue. So you did.

His head tipped back against the headboard with a sigh and he squeezed his eyes shut, removing his hand and letting you take control. He wanted - no, needed - you to call the shots. You needed to take it as far as you wanted to take it.

When your fingers dipped below his waistband, he tensed.

When he finally felt your soft touch on his cock, he groaned.

It was better than he even remembered. His eyes were still closed as you worked him up and down, the arousal pooling between your legs the longer you spent just feeling him and not seeing him.

"I want you," you whispered in his ear, and his hips jolted as he whined against your shoulder. You wanted him.

When he opened his eyes, he looked absolutely wrecked. You could see that he was trying his best to hold back, trying his best to make sure you were comfortable, that you weren't feeling pressured, that you really wanted it.

But when you sweetly whispered please, Joel, he didn't hesitate. He flipped you onto your back and pulled hastily at the buttons of his flannel while he cemented his mouth against yours. Your hands drifted to his hair and back, pulling and scratching as you went while he finally flung open the shirt. He instantly latched his lips around your nipple, making you moan and arch your back underneath him.

"So beautiful," he mumbled against your chest. "Tell me again."

You smiled and peered down at him. "I love you."

He breathed a sigh of relief, his exhale fanning over your skin, making your nipples tighten. His rough hands slid down your stomach, thick fingers splayed wide, trying to touch as much of you as possible at once.

You could hear your heartbeat thrumming steadily in your ears when he dipped his fingers below the elastic of your underwear, a deafening sound that made it hard to focus but when he slid a finger slowly through your arousal, your senses suddenly sharpened. The house could have been on fire but you never would have known because all you could focus on was him.

He dragged his open mouth across your chest, teeth grazing over your collarbone, tongue flicking out and tasting you as he went. His lips puckered and sucked at your skin as he pet gently at your entrance, making you squirm with need and tug impatiently at his hair. When he pulled his hand out of your underwear, you made a frustrated little noise that made him smile. He popped his finger into his mouth and you watched, struggling to breathe, as his eyes fluttered closed and he moaned like he had just slipped into a warm bath after a hard day.

"God, I missed that," he whispered, and the look on his face made you actually believe him.

"Joel..." you breathed, plucking feebly at the waistband of his sweatpants.

"Lemme just make you come on my mouth first," and before you could respond, he was shimmying down between your legs and tugging off your panties. When you glanced down and saw how good it looked with his head between your legs, you relaxed and leaned back. How could you argue with that view?

"Oh," you sighed when his tongue first slid through your folds. You tipped your head back and closed your eyes, allowing your muscles to melt under his touch. His hands held your thighs open but he didn't need to bother. There was no possible way you would do anything to stop him. Not when he felt so good, taking his time and expertly lavishing your core with his tongue. And perhaps he was an expert. At least when it came to you, he had five years of experience to fall back on. He surely must have figured out what you liked in all that time.

Your breath was growing ragged and you could feel the heat creeping up your chest. He pressed the backs of your thighs, pushing your knees up towards your chest so he could devour every inch of you, eating messily at your cunt. You pulled your knees back and hooked your hands around each one, your thighs becoming too shaky to hold open with your own strength.

It was a combination of his lips wrapping around your clit and the deep groan that rumbled through his chest that made you come undone the first time. Instant relief flashed through your body and you released your knees, letting your legs fall limply onto the quilt while he eagerly cleaned you up with his tongue.

When he sensed it was too much, he began peppering kisses along your inner thighs, murmuring praise into your skin as he went. You opened your eyes and peered down at him, your breath getting caught in your throat at the sight. His mouth and beard were glistening with your slick, his own eyes remained shut as he mindlessly nipped and kissed your skin, but even from your angle you could see him rutting his hips into the mattress, looking for any amount of friction to relieve the ache.

You reached your arms out to him and he inched up but stopped at your stomach. He sighed and rested the side of his head against your belly, listening to your breath evening out as he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around your waist. It took you by surprise that he wasn't immediately jumping at the chance to chase his own release when it was clear just a moment before he was dying for it. You glanced down at him and smiled when you saw the look on his face, simply content with just holding and being close to you. Carding your fingers through his curls, you heard him hum before pressing a gentle kiss against your stomach.

It might have been that moment when you realized he was right. What you had was special and rare. You could feel it in your bones, the way a look or touch sent a jolt right through you. The way you felt drawn to him, even from the very first day of your accident, you could sense something in him. You had no idea at the time what it was, but you were beginning to understand now.

"Joel?" you whispered, worried he might have somehow fallen asleep. Then you felt it. The first hot teardrop hit your skin and your heart clenched. "C'mere," you said, tugging at his shoulders. Begrudgingly, he obeyed. And after his arms loosened and he unpeeled his wet face from your belly, you saw the anguish in his eyes. All watery and wide and guilt-ridden.

"I don't deserve you," he said softly, his voice breaking a bit as you cupped his jaw. "Never did and definitely don't now. Not after everything I've done. Don't deserve your forgiveness, let alone your love."

You shushed him and pressed your lips tenderly against his, your thumb wiping away his tears as they fell.

"Don't tell me who I can and cannot love," you said, taking his chin in your hand and giving it a firm shake, like you were punishing him. He chuckled thickly through the tears.

You pulled him down by the back of his neck and kissed him slower, your tongue just barely dipping into his mouth. He groaned when you began to plant wet kisses along his jaw and you noticed with pride that his chest was rising and falling faster than usual while his hips ground into yours.

"Love you s'much," he almost sounded drunk, the feel of your mouth over his skin clouding his mind and mushing his words together.

"Yeah?" you asked before sucking a bruise where his jaw met his throat. "Then show me."

Joel kicked off his sweatpants and boxers with a grunt but when you went to remove his flannel from around your shoulders, he stopped you.

"Leave it on."

Your cheeks flared with heat at the way he looked at you and all you could do was nod and bite your lip.

It felt like time stood still when you first felt him enter you. Like nothing else in the world mattered outside of those four walls. He held your gaze and your fingers dug into his back, each of you savoring the stretch with your mouths hung open, the only sound was the occasional sharp little breath or gasp from one or both of you.

You could see it in his face again and you had a feeling you mirrored his look. It was too intense. Too overwhelming. So much had happened that led up to that moment: all the fear, sadness, laughter, arguments, long talks and shared traumas came crashing down at once. A tear slid down your cheek right when his hips came flush with yours and he leaned down to kiss it away.

"You okay?"

You nodded and wiped another tear away with the back of your hand.

"It's just a lot, y'know?" you sniffled, hoping he understood. And he did.

His eyes glistened and he smiled, his fingers brushing away a few stray pieces of hair from your face. "I know. We've come a long way."

"Yeah," you whispered, blinking back more tears. Your fingertips traced his bottom lip, your eyes flickering around his face, taking in every little crease and dimple. "Kiss me."

He did as you asked, kissing you slow and deep, matching pace with his hips. Your fingers dug into his arms, holding onto him, keeping him close. His hand pushed his flannel back, exposing one of your shoulders while your head tilted back into the pillows, momentarily breaking away for air. You moaned softly when he began to grind his hips against you, providing your clit with some much needed stimulation while he dragged his mouth down the column of your throat and across your collarbone. When he sunk his teeth gently into your shoulder, he felt you clench around him and gasp.

How's that feel?

Do that again.

Tell me you love me.

I love you.

Those sweet, desperate whispers were shared, breathed into each other's mouths, every word dragged out, every touch deliberate and slow. Neither of you in the mood to rush a thing as your fingers tightly laced together next to your head.

His other hand skirted around your back and under his shirt, palm pressing against your spine, pulling you closer to him, if it was even possible. He flexed his hips and you groaned when the tip of his cock hit a spot that had your entire body buzzing.

"Right there," you whimpered into his neck, brows pinched together and stomach tightening as you concentrated on the fire being stoked deep within you. Every one of his powerful thrusts was adding fuel to the flames. Your skin was slick with sweat and you began to regret keeping his flannel on.

"I know, baby. I remember," he whispered, tightening his grip on you. "Fuck, y'feel so good, I can't-"

"Don't stop! Please, Joel, more," you begged, tears welling up and spilling down your cheeks the closer and closer he pushed you to the edge. Your thighs tensed around his waist and his lips kissed the tears away and when you came, crying his name into his skin, he soothed you. He told you how much he loved you, how much he missed being so close to you, reminded you he was right there, that he had you and everything was okay.

Moments later, you felt his body tremble and his hips stutter. In a haze, you loosened your legs from around his waist. His lips captured yours frantically, fast puffs of exhale fanning over your cheek as he got more and more lost in chasing his climax. Your shaking fingers reached up to get tangled in his hair, ensuring his mouth remained firmly planted against your lips, muffling his groans and garbled versions of your name and I love yous, swallowing everything down until he yanked his hips away, spilling himself all over your stomach.

You both broke the kiss and looked down between your bodies, watching as each weak thrust painted your skin with more and more of his release until he finally stilled and shuddered.

After he finally forced himself to stand, he cleaned you up and slipped back into bed, one of his legs sticking out from underneath the covers, still slightly panting for air. You curled into his side, his arm wrapped around you, pulling you snug against him, his nose getting buried in your hair as you listened to each other's breaths even out. You quietly told him about a wound you stitched up at work all by yourself the day before and he told you how proud he was of you. You listened to him tell you a little more about his trip, how relieved he felt now that he confirmed with his own eyes Jackson was safe. At least, for the time being.

The last thing you remembered was him telling you how much he hated sleeping on the ground and how much he missed you while his knuckles soothingly dragged over your stomach but all you could think about was the warm glow that radiated from your skin and the delicious soreness between your legs as you drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, you heard birds singing outside your window. You smiled before you even opened your eyes. Spring was coming. You always loved spring. Something about it made you hopeful and calm, and that morning was no exception.

You awoke still wrapped in his arms and his flannel, your cheek pressed against his bare chest, one of your legs slotted between his, enjoying the peace and quiet the morning brought.

"I thought you died," you admitted quietly once he woke, your fingertips tracing over the scar above his hip. "When you didn't come back that day, I was so worried. So scared my last words to you were something cruel and hurtful."

He hummed and said, "Oh darlin', I'm so sorry," then kissed the top of your head.

"Don't be. In a way, it helped me realize how much I care about you," you replied, lifting your chin from his chest to glance up at him. He always looked way too handsome in the morning. It was hardly fair. "Made me realize I couldn't live without you."

He grinned and rolled his shoulder, stretching out his sore muscles. "Well, if that's all it took, why didn't you say somethin' sooner?"

You giggled and looked back down at his scar, the smile slowly slipping from your face the longer you looked at the pale jagged edges marring his bronzed skin. "God, that day you didn't come back, though," you continued, your brow furrowed as you thought, "I had the worst pit in my stomach. Almost like I knew something was wrong, you know?"

He nodded and closed his eyes, letting you talk, completely at ease listening to your voice.

"It probably didn't help I had woken up that morning from the worst fucking nightmare."

"What nightmare?" he asked sleepily.

You chuckled when you thought about it.

"It's not really funny," you explained, rolling off of him and onto your back, pulling his flannel closed as you moved. "It had started out just like this, actually. It was morning, we were in bed and we were talking... about death?" you said the last part as if it were a question. "I was asking you if you believed in heaven and I told you I was afraid we were going to hell." His eyes snapped open and he quickly rolled his head to look at you, waiting for you to continue. You laughed again and shrugged. "I guess it felt like a premonition or something. Really freaked me out, it felt so real."

"What else?" he asked excitedly, sitting up. You looked up at him and cocked your head to the side.

"What do you mean?"

"What else do you remember? From the nightmare?"

"Oh," you said, pushing yourself up so you were also sitting. You stared at the wall blankly as you thought about it. "You told me we aren't bad people, and even though I told you we had done bad things, I believed you. Then..." you felt your cheeks flush and he sat forward eagerly.

"Then what?" he urged, and when you looked at him again, any trace of playfulness was gone.

"Then... it got a little dirty but I woke up before anything happened. But I do remember you were on top of me and you said-"

"This is heaven right here?" he finished for you, and you looked at him in surprise.

"Yes! How did-"

"That was no nightmare, honey. That happened," he told you, his voice rising. He thought his heart was going to explode, it was racing so fast.

"What?" you whispered, but Joel was already jumping out of bed and tugging on his boxers.

"C'mon, get up! We gotta take you to see Nick!"

"Wait," you said, buttoning up his flannel as he flew around the room, grabbing new clothes for you both. "Joel, this was a month ago, what will going to see Nick do?"

"I-I-I don't know! But we gotta tell him. Maybe there's somethin' we can do if we know you're capable of -"

"Joel, sit down," you said, cutting him off. He froze, having just tugged on a shirt but his jeans were still left unzipped and unbuttoned. You stared at him until he took the few steps towards the bed and sat down on the edge. "I'll talk to Nick next time I'm at work, but I don't want to barge in there and take up his time. You know this is out of his area of expertise."

He looked disappointed but he knew you were right because he finally nodded in agreement and bit the inside of his cheek while he stared at the floor. You put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, drawing his attention back onto you.

"It doesn't matter, anyway," you said softly. "If my memories come back, then they come back. If they don't, they don't. All that matters is this... right?" you asked, inching closer to him and resting a hand on his thigh. He smiled and enveloped your hand in his.

"Yeah, you're right," he said, staring down at your conjoined hands for a moment. "You wanna go get some breakfast? Maybe talk 'bout it a bit more?"

"Sure," you replied, then leaned forward, kissing him tenderly before standing up. "I should probably shower, though. Last night got a little messy," you said, tossing him a wink over your shoulder. He smirked and watched your ass sway back and forth in his fucking clothes as you made your way to the bathroom. You turned around in the doorway, one hand on the knob, the other braced against the frame as you looked at him expectantly from across the room. "Aren't you coming?"

All the blood rushed directly between his legs and just like that, his excitement for you recalling a memory was replaced by a very different kind of excitement.

"Hell, yes," he said, standing up and shucking off his shirt as he followed you into the bathroom. He grabbed your face with both hands and crashed his mouth against yours, kicking the door shut behind him.

Three Months Later

"Can't believe I'm the one teachin' you how to shoot," Joel muttered in disbelief as you walked back from the line of trees where he had hammered a paper target into one of the trunks. "You were always a better shot than me. Almost better than Tommy, and he was in the goddamn Army."

You laughed and shook your head, still finding it difficult to believe that you ever shot a gun before. From what you remember, you were always afraid of guns growing up.

"Maybe I'm a natural, then."

Enough time had passed and the weather had gotten warm enough where you decided it would be beneficial to re-learn how to shoot. You didn't plan on going back to patrol, but in the world you lived in, it was an important skill to have.

You sat down next to Joel on the fallen tree trunk in the middle of a small field about two miles away from Jackson. He picked up each one of his guns and inspected them, making sure they were clean so there wouldn't be much kickback.

"Have any dreams lately?"

You sighed and shook your head. "Just the one about Ellie, and that was over a month ago."

When you woke up one morning from a dream that felt all too real, you shook Joel awake to tell him about it. It was a simple dream, but it felt intense. You had dreamed Ellie sat you and Joel down at the kitchen table, and full of nerves, explained that she was seeing someone. Someone she cared about deeply. You seemed to catch on quicker than Joel because the conversation lead to where Ellie had to point blank explain to him that she was dating another girl. He seemed surprised but not overly shocked, and when he shrugged it off and still maintained that his only concern was her partner treating her right, her face broke out into a huge smile.

After he confirmed it was a memory, you agreed to see Nick. He didn't end up having much insight on what spurred your sudden recollection that day, just as you expected. But much to your surprise, Joel was perfectly calm. In fact, he made a point of thanking Nick and you even saw him smile at the other man.

And it wasn't just Nick you noticed his demeanor changing toward, either. When kids playing in the street bumped into him, he laughed and waved them off. When Jesse proposed to his girlfriend, Joel was one of the first in line to give him a hearty handshake and wished them well.

You weren't sure if his behavior changed because you were so revolted by it in the beginning, or if he was just happier in general, but you didn't complain.

"Alright, so which one d'you think we're gonna use from this distance?" he asked after he showed you his revolver and then his rifle, explaining the difference between each: how they handled, when to use them, when not to use them, and then finally, how to load and unload them.

You gave him a blank look. "The rifle, Joel. I'm not a complete idiot. I've seen movies."

He grinned and holstered his revolver.

"Good girl. Beauty and brains," he said, and you rolled your eyes.

"Don't start."

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Don't start flirting with me. You'll distract me and I want to take this seriously."

"I ain't flirtin' with you."

"Yes, you are!"

He laughed heartily at your frustrated little pout. "Can you blame me? You're so goddamn cute."

"Joel..." you whined, and he held up both hands in defeat before picking up the rifle.

"Alright, alright. Lemme shoot off a few rounds and you watch my form, okay? Watch my shoulders and where my hands go."

"Okay."

You observed him as he took aim at the target, nearly hitting the bullseye but not quite.

"You wanna give it a shot?"

"Pun intended?"

He grinned and held out the rifle, so you grabbed it and sunk down to one knee, resting your elbows on the tree trunk as you tried to imitate his posture.

"Like this?"

"Mhm," he said, "now take a deep breath and squeeze the trigger nice 'n slow."

Doing as you were told, you inhaled and blinked a few times, making sure your vision was clear and your eye was on the prize. Pursing your lips, you slowly exhaled and squeezed the trigger - only to miss hitting the target entirely.

"Shit," you grumbled, sitting back on your heels.

"You got spooked by the kickback," Joel said, "try again, but this time try not to flinch."

You shouldered the rifle and took aim, once again taking a deep breath and focusing on the little yellow circle in the middle of the target. When you fired off your second round, doing your best not to flinch, you clipped the edge of the paper, but you were no where near the center.

"Goddamnit!" you yelled angrily. Joel chuckled and crouched behind you.

"Here. Lemme help you."

He wrapped his arms around yours and pressed his chest against your back, his hands coming to rest on top of yours as he made some minuscule adjustments to your posture.

"Y'gotta be gentle, see?" he whispered in your ear. Your eyelids fluttered but you managed to nod. "Gotta be patient. Don't let her scare you. Think of her as an extension of you. Like another arm."

"Her?" you teased.

He chuckled, his breath puffing against the back of your neck. "Yeah. Her. I'm respectful and careful with all my girls."

"All?" you repeated, leaning into him a bit. "How many are there?"

"Oh, tons," he said, making you giggle. "But if it makes you feel any better, you're my favorite."

"A favorite over a bunch of guns? I'm so flattered."

"Hey, now. Didn't you just say you wanted to take this seriously? C'mon, focus up," and you knew he was right so you straightened up and pressed your eye against the scope once again.

Joel stayed behind you, his hands on your shoulders to help stabilize your upper body as you squeezed off shot after shot. His advice helped a little, you were at least hitting the paper, but you weren't getting anywhere near his shots from earlier. He could see you were growing frustrated so when you ran out of bullets, he took the rifle and told you to take a break while he reloaded.

"It's okay, darlin'. It's gonna take a bit to get used to it."

You sighed and slumped forward on the tree trunk. "Yeah, I guess," you mumbled.

For the next twenty minutes, Joel coached you while you struggled to remember all his advice at once. Keep your shoulders loose. Don't flinch. Follow through. Breathe. When you pulled the last round into the chamber and took aim, you expected it to go like all the others so you stopped worrying about it and just pulled the trigger.

"Holy shit, you did it!" Joel exclaimed excitedly. You hadn't even bothered to look, so you quickly brought the scope back up to your face. When you saw the small little circle burning a hole through the paper, nearly dead center, you squealed and quickly placed the rifle against the tree so you could jump into Joel's arms. He wrapped his arms around your ribs and spun you around while you giggled into his neck.

"Told you," he said with a wide grin after he put you back down. You grabbed his face with both hands and pulled him into you, crashing your lips together, taking him by surprise. He stumbled forward but wrapped a hand around the back of your neck just as you lost your own footing and fell onto the grass, dragging him down with you.

You laughed against his mouth, still peppering kisses all over his face. He braced both arms on either side of you, elbows digging into the warm grass, smile permanently stretching across his cheeks as he soaked up your affection.

When your laughter died down, you pulled away to gaze up at him, your fingers playing with the dark curls at the base of his neck. The sun was shining over the field and onto his tanned skin, making his sparkling brown eyes look like the color of gold. It took your breath away.

"You're so handsome," you whispered in awe, your fingers leaving his hair in favor of stroking the graying stubble dusting his cheeks. He blushed and shook his head, but before he could protest, you spoke again. "I love you so much, Joel. Sometimes it makes me sad to think we probably wouldn't have ever known each other if the world didn't end."

His eyes softened and he gave you a small smile, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. "I'll always find you. In every life, in every universe. You've got a piece of me," he tapped your chest lightly, "I don't make the rules."

You laughed and laced your fingers together with his. "Like fate?"

He shrugged. "Call it whatever you want. I already told you, sweetheart. We're meant to be together."

You pulled him down for another kiss, this one more gentle. More loving. More intimate. For the hundredth time, you mentally berated yourself for wasting so much time after your accident when you could have been with him like this, being loved and adored and cherished all along. Instead, you both had been searching endlessly for some version of yourself that you weren't sure you would ever find again. But then you realized if you never did, that was okay. Because you got to fall in love with each other all over again, and how many people get to say that?

[a-hazbin-reader]

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Violence, Kidnapping, Alastor eating bitches

Description: Alastor's X Wife!Reader who gets kidnapped and how he deals with that

Alastor's relationship with you is a strong one, the two of of you drawn to each other in an almost supernatural way

But you also trust each other's strengths and aren't prone to stepping in each other's fights

Regardless of how powerful you are

I got your pinkie fingers bby go kick his ass

Holds your shopping bags for you while you go kick ass

Unless of course you ask him to

He likes it when you fix his hair afterwards, preening like a giant rooster as you do

THE POINT IS-

It's not like Alastor spends all his time glued to your hip or sending you out with bodyguards

You can take a damn walk by yourself

You do have a target on back though, if not because of your own strength/actions, then because of your husband

So it's not unusual when someone tries to pick a fight with you

But when you're suddenly ambushed and kidnapped, against the fact that you fought hard to avoid it

Fucking holy weapons

That's new

Well I suppose you'll just have to wait for your husband to come and get you out of this mess

*spits out blood*

Not you bragging about how fucked your kidnappers are once Alastor gets there

He's already going to be mad that they kidnapped his wife, but the fact that they've now put hands on you??? Made you bleed???

Oh they're so fucked

So just sit back and look pretty while you wait for your boo to come and rescue you

And you do look pretty

Keep your damn hands off

Alastor knows something is up when you don't come home, knows that someone must've gotten to you

If the old geezer watched tv maybe he would've known a little sooner

Maybe he would've known that your little fight made the news

Tf was he gonna do?? Wait for it to show up in the papers??

BREAKING NEWS!! RADIO DEMON'S BABE WIFE GETS KIDNAPPED AFTER EPIC BATTLE!

But when Angel shows him that you've been kidnapped Alastor literally just-

Makes this face:

Oh he's getting his wife back

RIP Angel's phone 😭

He's visibly very calm about the whole thing though, which makes the others even more worried

"Well then! I suppose I'll have to get Y/N back myself, won't I? You all wait here, I won't be long now~"

Alastor does give them a chance to give you back before he comes and hunts them down

It's one of the most terrifying radio broadcasts people have listened to but this is his WIFE we're talking about

On the inside he is VERY ANGRY

Even if they do bring you back he still eats them

Fuck them he never promised them anything

They took and HURT HIS WIFE

If they don't bring you back then they're going to be subjected to slaughter like they've never known before being eaten

Not him using his massive demonic form to rip apart their safe house

Anyone who doesn't know Alastor like you do will think he's being surprisingly playful about it all

But as his wifers you know he's raging by the look in his eyes 👀 not merely playing with his food

Not wifey just sitting back and admiring Alastor while he works 💅✨️

Damn this is really doing it for me

Admires how elegantly you stretch and rub your wrists after your bindings are undone, so graceful even after taking a beating

"Thank you, Alastor~ Right on time as always~"

He begs to differ

"Anything for you, my dear."

Won't really look at you until you grab his chin and force him to, Alastor giving you a guilty smile

Le kiss

Leans in to touch foreheads with you, the two of relaxing in each other's arms amongst the carnage

Casually licks the blood off your face to ruin the moment before taking your arm

"Now let's get you home, my darling~"

Doesn't leave you alone for the rest of the night, trying to hide the fact that he's fretting over you

You want to take a bath and get cleaned up? He'll help you!

You want to lay down and rest after a stressful day? He's actually pretty tired too so you two should go to bed together

Will 100% broadcast their screaming souls as a warning to anyone else who wants to try that little stunt again

Falls asleep to it actually, one arm wrapped around you as he drifts off so that when he wakes up, he'll know you're right there with him

He doesn't think any less of you, he's been beat before too

Don't remind him

Will absolutely call himself your hero for like a week straight and land himself in the doghouse by the end of it

[gothcsz]

can we talk about javi angry fucking you? like for some reason you guys are having a HUUGE fight and something inside him just snaps and he takes you then and there, wherever you are. he sets a brutal pace and orders you to say his name but it's so much you can't!? ugh, excuse me, i am ovulating and this thought needed to be shared. I desperately need angry rough javi in my life

tags: f!reader, post s3!javi, established relationship, no use of y/n, reader has hair that can be pulled, reader understands spanish, term(s) of endearment (gatita), angst, cussing, break up, arguing, light dub con, smut, unprotected p in v sex (be safe irl), saliva as lube, a little bit of exhibitionism, creampie, hurt/no comfort i think, javi being an ass, any typos/grammar mistakes are of my own doing and i apologize in advance, if i missed any other tags pls let me know ok thx.

~ 2.1k w/c - gif found on pinterest

a/n: me when i read that you're ovulating. but okay, this prompt was just so angsty and juicy. tyvm for that! i couldn't help but connect this to my fantasize series (you guys should clock in. let's stalk javi together)— but it can totally be read as a standalone! enjoyyyyy 🖤

Dinner with Javier’s family is always a lively affair, filled with chatter, laughter, and the steady clinking of forks and knives against plates.

You’re doing your best to keep up, smiling at the stories being shared and listening to the good-natured teasing from his relatives. But then, one of his cousins starts talking about how Javier’s taking on more responsibilities at the family ranch, taking charge now that Chucho is preparing to step down.

He beams as he talks about it. “You should see Javi. Got the whole thing runnin’ like a machine, and he’ll be takin’ full ownership soon, ain’t that right, Javi?”

You freeze, fork halfway to your mouth. Your eyes snap to your boyfriend, searching his face for any hint of explanation, an acknowledgment, anything that might explain what you’re hearing.

But he just nods with a slight, almost bashful smile, as though this was something you should’ve expected, something he had already told you. Except he hasn’t.

Your heart thuds painfully as your stomach twists, an uncomfortable heat spreading across your face. It’s been months of back-and-forth, of what you thought were shared dreams about moving to the city together, finding a way to make things work while your career takes off.

You’d convinced yourself you were on the same page. But here he is, making other plans, without even thinking to tell you.

You try to keep your tone light, but there’s an unmistakable edge in your voice. “Taking full ownership, huh? Guess that’s news to me.”

Javier shifts in his seat, glancing at you with a look that’s half-warning, half-apologetic. “I am his only son. It makes sense,” he responds, very matter-of-factly.

His family’s already watching, sensing the shift in the air, and there’s no pulling back now.

“Funny, I thought we were still talking about our plans to move to the city,” you force a smile on your lips, but the sting behind your words is unmistakable.

He sighs, clearly getting exasperated, looking at you as if to say, Not here. You can feel the weight of everyone’s eyes, the quiet confusion as they look between you both, piecing together the fragments of a conversation they aren’t meant to hear.

You swallow hard, unable to bear the mix of embarrassment and betrayal.

Pushing back from the table, you excuse yourself, your voice tight. “I need a minute.”

You make it inside, rushing up the stairs and into his bedroom, gathering your things with shaking hands. You know he’s going to follow you, and sure enough, a moment later, you hear the door creak open, then his heavy footsteps.

“What the hell was that?” He demands in a sharp tone, confusion and anger lacing his words.

You spin around, dropping your things onto the bed as you plant your hands on your hips. “Why didn’t you tell me about these new plans of yours, Javier?” 

He sighs heavily, hating when you use his full name, rolling his tongue over his teeth as he tries to find the right words. “Because I knew you’d be upset,” he says flatly, as though it’s an explanation that should satisfy you.

That’s his justification for keeping this from you? The anger inside you flares hotter, bubbling over as you let out a bitter laugh. “So instead, I get to sit there like a fool, blindsided, while your cousin tells me about the future you’re planning without even thinking to clue me in?”

“God, would you calm down?” he mutters, frustration tightening his features. “This isn’t something we need to talk about right now.”

You’re practically shaking, hurt clawing at you. “You don’t get it, do you? You said you’d try this with me. You promised we’d make this work together, that you’d support my career—our future.”

“This is me trying!” he snaps back, his voice rising in frustration. “Why are you being so damn selfish? I can’t just leave my pops to run this place by himself. He’s not getting any younger.”

You search his face, trying to understand, but all you see is irritation and defensiveness.

“He has other ranch hands. Other family. You promised.”

His eyes narrow, and he takes a step closer, his jaw clenched. “Why are you making this all about you?” he growls. “If I’d known things would end up like this, I would have left you back in Colombia.”

You’re stunned momentarily, speechless as the weight of his words sinks in.

You shake your head slowly, your voice cold as you look up at him. “You’re a piece of shit, Javier. I can’t believe you would say that to me.”

Your words strike a nerve, a phrase that’s been said to him by plenty of people yet hurting the most when you’re the one saying it. His eyes darken, expression shifting. “What did you just say?” he murmurs, cocking his head as he takes slow steps toward you.

“I said you’re a piece of shit, Javier,” you repeat, steady despite the tremor running through you. “And I’m done with—”

Before you can finish, his hand reaches up, wrapping around your throat tightly yet with careful pressure, and he pulls you close, lips crashing against yours in a kiss that’s unyielding and bruising.

Despite the fury burning inside you, your body responds, helplessly drawn to the passion only he can ignite.

Your hands find his shoulders, gripping tightly as he presses you back against the wall, swallowing the soft gasp that escapes your lips when a few of the photo frames rattle.

His mouth is punishing and you can barely breathe with how tight he’s holding you, but there’s something undeniably thrilling about it that licks right through you, even as the hurt from before lingers.

When he finally releases his hold on your neck, his hands become fervent, moving roughly along your body as if claiming you all over again.

Harshly groping your breasts, moving down to cup your ass— you can’t pull him close enough to let this anger turn into the twisted relief you both need.

Clothes fall away in frantic pulls and tugs, shirts and pants pooling on the floor, discarded and forgotten. Between desperate fingers and tongues, you’re too aware that, if you part, the argument will bubble back up, and you don’t want that to happen yet.

His lips move over your skin, leaving love bites that blaze hot and brand you with the one of a kind feeling of him.

You grip his triceps, nails digging in as you drink each other’s breaths, tasting the tension between you, until you’re bare, and your bodies meet in a tangle of angry lust.

He maneuvers you toward the window, your hands bracing against the glass instinctively, the cold against your chest making you gasp.

He presses against you from behind, his body heat searing, grounding you in the storm of emotions that threaten to pull you under.

Your bare breasts flatten against the window, and the chill of the glass has your nipples puckering.

He spits into his hand, tugging at his cock, running it through the sticky mess of your cunt before thrusting into you, making you take every glorious inch all at once.

You gasp loudly, almost choking on the sound. It’s intense, too much, yet somehow exactly what you need, pulling you deeper into the unfiltered feeling pulsing between you.

You aren’t as wet as he usually gets you, and the burn from the stretch of fitting him inside your tight, wet cunt  mimics the burn you’d felt in your heart at his indifference towards you. His girlfriend.

Javier leans in, his lips brushing your ear as he growls, “If they look over here, they’ll see you taking this cock like a real selfish slut.”

The words have your shivering, shocking and exhilarating, just as he is, and your head tilts back as you let out a strangled, breathy moan.

“Causing a scene in front of everyone,” he tuts mockingly, “¿No tienes modales, gatita?” (Don't you have manners?)

Your fingers splay against the window, nails scratching down the surface, making a grating sound, as he thrusts harder, each punch of his cock against that one specific weak spot is sending you closer to the edge.

His rhythm is exacting and every bit of you is caught between the pressure of the cold glass and the heat of his body.

“Say my name,” he orders, grabbing a fistful of your hair and tugging it harshly, holding you firm against his shoulder as he glares down at you, eyes glazed over with need and his dark brows pulled together in a frown.

Your scalp stings at the pull, pretty eyes rolling to the back of your head and your throat tightens, making it impossible for words to escape you. Your pussy throbs around him, losing the fight against the sensations he’s overwhelming you with.

“Say it,” he demands again, his voice roughened with irritation, but the pace continues to be relentless, borderline uncomfortable, your body bending to his will.

He’s pushed you to a point where you’re nothing but a quivering, whiny mess. The friction of your nipples rubbing against the glass leaves them tender and raw, adding another edge of pleasure-pain.

“Got you all fucked out you can’t even say my damn name.” He chuckles humorously, but it’s drowned out by a low groan as his cock twitches inside of you, the sound of your ass slapping back against his pelvis echoing throughout the room. 

“C’mon gatita, tell me who’s making you feel this good even when you’re pissed off.”

The way he taunts you makes your blood boil, and you have half a mind to turn around and slap him—but it’s so fucking hot and you’re not going to lie to yourself about that.

Instead, you smirk and deliberately clench around him, watching him groan as his fingers tighten in your hair. 

“No seas asi. Say it.” (Don't be like that) He pushes you forward, cheek smushed against the window as his palm presses into your lower back, arching you even more, and that has his cock fucking you at a different angle that is much more overwhelming than the last.

“Ay Javi!” You can’t help but exclaim, some of your saliva landing on the glass from how you spit his name out.

He smirks to himself, that’s all he needs to let his own orgasm rip through him. With one last harsh thrust, he grips your hips, driving deep, a sharp cry breaks free as pleasure shatters through you, your body shaking with release, unable to form a single coherent thought except his name.

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath, burying his cock fully inside you, his heavy balls pressing against your swollen clit as he fills your cunt with his load.

His forehead falls against your shoulder, teeth then nipping at the damp skin until he’s kissing up to bury his face in your neck.

Your brain is foggy, and it takes a few seconds of you trying to catch your breath before your heart and mind are in sync again and the argument that led to this resurfaces. 

“Javier,” you murmur, your throat scratchy, and you swallow before you can go on, “we shouldn’t have done that.”

He scoffs, pulling out of you, making the both of you hiss. You feel his warm cum leaking from your spent pussy and your thighs twitch, inadvertently making more of it flow out. You quickly bend down to grab your underwear, using it to clean yourself, trying to clear both the physical and emotional remnants of him.

He opens his mouth to speak, but you’re already moving, pulling on your clothes. “I’m done.”

Fully dressed, you watch his expression shift, and it almost makes you second-guess the words you’re about to say. Almost.

“We gave it a shot and clearly, it’s not working. Nuestras prioridades no se alinean.” (Our priorities don't align)

“No seas ridícula,” (Don't be ridiculous) he waves you off and that makes you feel so small. “What’s best for us is to stay here.”

You laugh dryly at the sting of his dismissal. You’re tempted to pinch yourself to check if this is real—wondering if this is the same Javier that practically begged you to come back to the States with him.

He’s not acting like the agent you fell in love with.

“No, what’s best is for us to go our separate ways.” Finality settles into the quiet like stones. “We rushed into this, we let the chase and the sex take the lead without thinking it through.” You shake your head, haphazardly packing to keep from falling apart entirely.

“I should have seen this coming. I’m such an idiot.” Now I see why a handsome man like you was single.

You should have remained the woman you were before him, independent, career focused—the one that avoided relationships like the plague because they only ended in disappointment.

Case in point. 

He remains silent as he watches you pack the rest of your things and it really breaks your heart. He isn’t even trying to stop you.

started a tag list for my works here, so if you're interested— pls check it out 🖤

🏷️ : @almostempty . @auteurdelabre . @persephone-girl . @magneticecstasy . @miss-oranje-disco-dancer . @pepperstories . @greenwitchfromthewoods . @maiyart . @pedrohoe04 . @natalieispunk . @thewisesalmon . @bitchesuntitled . @puddles221b . @swankyorange . @bbyanarchist . @thottiewinemom . @heyhihello-4771 . @danaehldy . @sunflowerfive . @libre-sol . @harriedandharassed . @untamedheart81 . @moel-jiller . @honeyedmiller . @alexxavicry . @angiewatson . @sunshinefive .

[hibiscusseaart]

So about Time Travel Tobirama

He gets back in his childhood, the period when Kawarama was already dead, but Itama still alive, just cuz I like Itama alive and well, ok. (also i love the idea of Itama the weed shinobi by @oh-no-its-bird so)

And he starts to think and strategise smth like "Ok, I need to kill Black Zetsu, but idk where he is. But he should be around Uchihas, so I must come closer. But I cant just go there, we're not in peace, they'd kill me. And I don't exactly know when Black Zetsu is gonna try to manipulate Madara. So I also have to monitor Madara and make sure Izuna doesn't ever dies, to ensure that Madara won't lose his shit".

So, he's really logical and his conclusion was "So the easiest way to monitor the Uchiha clan is to marry an Uchiha." But he can't just marry a random Uchiha, it'd be shitty for politics he is the clan heir after Hashirama after all + it'd be nice way to strengthen peace via marriage. Plus he needs to keep close eye to Madara. So. Marrying Madara it is. Or Izuna. But first of all, Izuna is annoying and second he still needs very carefully look for potential signs of Black Zetsu corruption and it's better to do that when they're in close quarters. So the best case scenario is Madara's hand in marriage.

Killing Madara might be easier, but Hashirama would be sad. Plus I think the ppl who helped him to be sent in the past (coughnaruto who said that) told him smth about that Madara and Hashirama are Indra and Ashura reincarnations and be like "What if daddy Sage gets angry..."

So yeah no killing Madara. Even though he kinda wants to.

And to be clear, he had this plan in the few days he's back in his baby body. He's like 10-12 or whatever, when Hashi starts running to the river to meet Madara. Oh and Itama is safe and sound cuz Tobi said fuck Butsuma and went to safe his baby brother.

So one day Tobirama follows his brother to the river to actually meet Madara before his father decides to fuck everything.

So, Tobirama's the most fucked up honeypot mission officially begun. Tobirama is gonna be like "Ok i need to impress a 12 yo... But I cant just show him a cool jutsu, he might think about me as a rival or whatever... Kids like praise and cool things... Maybe I can tell him that he's cute and find him a cool stick? Should I ask Anija to make a cool stick?"

He meets Madara (without a stick, Hashirama might've suspect smth) and be like "Wow, Anija who would've known you've made such a cute friend" (Tobirama is hard cringing in his head, he's not the best in honeypot missions) and Madara, being about 12 year old, is standing there covered in mud, cuz Hashirama threw him into river or whatever + the little hc that he's kinda ugly when he's in his teens. Like Madara thinks of himself as strong and cool, but not particularly handsome with his wild hair and eye bags.

So Madara is smitten cuz wow pretty boy with red eyes said that He's cute!!!

Tobirama looks at Madara's dopey smile and thinks of the first phase as a success. Now Tobirama starts to spend some time with Hashirama and Madara to monitor their surroundings from their clans, while Itama distracts their father, and also try to win over Madara when he is still an impressionable kid. Plus he starts hinting that they may be Senju and Uchiha and that they should be prepared. But well they're kids who wants to escape all that war and just play with a peer so.

Long story short, Madara be like "So we're gonna make a village and then I'm gonna marry Tobirama!"

Tobi "fuck yes, a bit ahead of the schedule, but sounds good, i'm in"

Hashirama is outraged bc THATS HIS LIL BROTHER!!!

So Tobirama plays hard and makes Madara promise to marry him when they're old enough.

But then well, they're still found out and they still have a fallout cuz of their clans. But Tobirama made them promise to try hard for peace (and marriage), so now they just have to wait til Butsuma dies and Hashirama can become a clan head.

Tobirama tries not to be so efficient at killing Uchihas cuz he will be their family later so he tries to avoid it and just knock out or use some non lethal methods. Hashirama mostly fights Madara and it's almost sparrings at this point. Itama works on his weed empire and learns healing.

Well one day Butsuma dies and Hashirama and Tobirama bully their Elders and rush to try for peace. Tajima (who I think is still alive) is suspicious of all of it and stalls af.

So one day on the battlefield Tobirama says "So, marriage when? You promised asshole", making all the Uchiha and Senju stumble and "HUH?!"

So now many of the Senju and Uchiha now know that Uchiha clan heir apparently proposed to the Senju heir ??? Everyone is confused.

Madara, still crushing hard on Tobirama, catches this opportunity and bullies everyone to allow peace and let him marry Tobirama. Uchiha allow it only cuz everyone knows how crazy Uchihas about loved ones and Madara is the strongest one. They kinda afraid that if they won't allow it, he'd go crazy (he would).

So Madara gets his trophy wife Tobirama, Tobirama gets his safari zone with Uchihas in their natural habitat.

Tobirama is a surprisingly good husband to Madara, cuz with all that Zetsu thing, he's attentive as hell. "Something bothering you, dear husband? Do tell me everything."

At first they think he'd learn things and will tell that all back to Senju, but Tobirama tries to assure them "I don't really care about details. Tell me about how it makes you feel." (he looks for the signs of Zetsu corruption)

So basically Tobirama marries Madara to become his therapist. Madara is very much in love and constantly brags how much his spouse loves him and that he always listens his worries.

Izuna is mad as fuck about all of it btw. He thinks that Tobirama has ulterior motives and hides something. (He's right. ) But Tobirama dutifully plays his part as an attentive spouse and makes plans for bettering Uchiha clan just so that the village won't suffer. He'd probably would prescribe them regular therapy for everyone who awoken Sharingan.

also @fashionredalert write a snippet for this au with madara in the mud! pls check it out!

[moonstruckme]

hi lovely! could i pretty please get a blueberry muffin (part 2) with this fic:

https://www.tumblr.com/moonstruckme/727381518213857280/not-sure-if-youre-taking-requests-buttttt

thank you!! 🫶🫶

Thanks for requesting <3

part 1

cw: concussion, vomit mention, maybeee some d/s dynamics? in the soft sense though

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 812 words

You’ve forgotten your sandwich again. It stays suspended in the air, halfway between your mouth and your plate, while you stare at the coffee table like there’s a riddle in the scratches on the wood. 

“Sweetheart,” Sirius prompts you. You look over at him, lost, and he nods to your sandwich. “Are you full?” 

“Oh.” You shake your head. “No.” 

You take another bite and press your lips together hard as you chew. Sirius worries you might cry again. It’s been on and off tears since they nabbed you from Marlene’s and if your aim was to cut through Sirius’ anger about you going when you shouldn’t have, you’ve done it thoroughly. He feels like he’s being cleaved open with each one that rolls down your cheek. 

“Does the paracetamol feel like it’s working?” Remus asks you. 

You nod, swallowing. 

Remus repositions himself in the arm chair, propping his chin on his hand with a sigh. James stops midway between the bathroom and the sitting room, his hair wet from the shower. 

“Uh oh,” he says. “Are we talking?” 

“We’re talking,” Remus confirms. 

James makes a face but sits down. His knee immediately begins bouncing. 

As ready as Sirius was to tear into you earlier, he feels for you too. You look into your lap as you pull the sleeves of Remus’ jumper over your fingers, waiting for someone to start. 

“Dove,” Remus sounds exhausted with this already, “you knew why going to that party was a bad idea for you.” 

“Yeah,” you say quietly. 

“Then why did you?” 

You’re picking apart the knit of Remus’ sleeve. Sirius takes your hands in his, stopping you. Your eyes linger on them. “It’s Marlene’s birthday,” you say. “She’s my friend.” 

“She is your friend, angel,” James says gently. “Do you think she really would have cared if you’d missed her party if she knew how awful it was for you to be there?” 

You look like you’re chewing the inside of your lip. “It wasn’t awful.” 

“You got sick on the drive home,” Sirius reminds you. Okay, it’s possible he’s still a little angry. “Do you mean to tell me that was the result of you having a good time?” 

He immediately feels like shit when your expression twinges painfully. 

“I know you wanted to be there for Marlene,” Remus cuts in, “and to make her happy, but I don’t think it was worth making yourself miserable.” His voice is calm. Sirius doesn’t know how he does it; Remus was the most upset when they learned you’d gone to the party, but somehow he manages to keep his tone gentle, his expression kind as he talks you through the fallacies in your own reasoning. “You need to be more considerate of yourself, dove.” 

“You are a considerate person,” James says. “We love that about you, sweetheart. You’re kind, and you’re always thinking about everyone else, it’s just that sometimes you think about them too much. Marlene getting to see you at her party, versus you getting the rest you need to keep your concussion from getting worse…” He mimes a scale with his hands, making a face. “It’s not a very fair trade-off, yeah?” 

You nod but don’t speak. Your eyes are on your lap, and when Sirius dips his head to try and see you better, your lips are a harsh, tortured line. He squeezes your hands. 

“Yeah,” you say, your voice thin. 

Remus makes a soft sound, reaching for you. “Come here, babydove.” 

You join him in his chair and Sirius sees his boyfriend’s worry finally dissipating as he mushes brief, ardent kisses into your hair. James smiles softly. 

“You’re alright,” Remus promises, voice muffled from how his lips are stuck to your head. He rubs up and down your back firmly while you hide your face in his chest. “We just want you to understand. So you don’t do it again.” 

“I know.” Your voice sounds fragmented, and it’s like ice picks through Sirius’ chest. “Sorry, it’s not you guys, I just—” You take a stilted breath. James moves to perch on the arm of Remus’ chair so he can squeeze your shoulder. “I just really don’t feel well.” 

“Oh, I know.” Remus rests his forehead on top of yours. “I’m sorry.” 

“Do you feel like you could be sick again, baby?” Sirius asks. When you shake your head, he stands. “Then let’s go to bed, yeah? Do you feel sufficiently lectured?” 

Your shoulders give a little shake, and though he already suspects it’s from laughter, James’ grin confirms it. 

“Do you want us to keep Remus away from you?” James teases, giving your shoulder another squeeze. “Would that make you feel better?” 

“Yes,” you say, while winding your arms around Remus’ waist. 

Remus doesn’t even feign offense. Only cups the back of your head and mushes another kiss into your hair.

[sanakiras]

TIDAL WAVE OF LOVE

PAIRING — choi seungcheol x reader

WORD COUNT — 1.3k

SYNOPSIS — even the strongest of people break sometimes. you’re used to hiding your feelings; your boyfriend is there for you when everything gets too much.

TAGS — angst, self-esteem issues, fear of failure, mc has a bit of a breakdown :(( but also a lil comfort

NOTE — cleaning out the drafts! this is wayyyy shorter than my usual works but i still felt like posting it <3 i had a very stressful semester in uni before the summer break and i came across this video on twt of coups giving wonwoo a little comforting squeeze which i found very endearing sooo that kinda became the inspo for this!

the moment he calls out a greeting to you from his kitchen, you close your eyes for a moment. it would’ve probably been wiser to have gone home instead of his place.

you greet him the same way, hoping he doesn’t hear the crack in your voice.

“how was your day?” he asks you once he’s returned to the living room, giving you a kiss.

you press your lips together. “fine. nothing special.”

the first thing he notices is the lack of eye contact you make with him. you’re also being considerably less touchy with him than usual, which he finds strange.

“everything okay?”

“yeah.” you put up a smile that doesn’t appear genuine in the slightest.

he figures you could just be in a bad mood — but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

he knows for a fact that it’s not with the way you’re trying real hard to hide your face from him. you only do that when you’re upset about something.

“baby, talk to me.”

“about what?”

the response comes out snappier than you meant it to. you two have been together quite a while — so he’s come to know that you tend to get a little colder and distant before the dam breaks.

you look at him so briefly to the point where he’d miss the motion if he blinked. the expression equals a silent apology.

of course he always does his best to give you whatever space you need. that being said, he’s also come to know you get into your own head a lot, and sometimes there’s someone who needs to pull you out of it.

you bite your lip in a pathetic attempt to hold back your tears. “it’s fine, cheol, just let it go.”

“well, i care about you, sweetheart. what’s going on?” he’s persistent but gentle about it. you have a habit of keeping your feelings to yourself and hardly ever letting anything out, which leads to everything just piling up and making things worse.

“i don’t wanna talk about it.”

the lump in your throat begins to rise.

“i can see that, but you’ve clearly got something you need off your chest. are you okay?”

you don’t show anyone when something’s wrong unless they mention it first. and even when they do, you’re hesitant.

it’s an exhausting way to live, but you still choose to do so.

it’s one of the reasons why you hate crying. your glossy eyes always betray you.

then you make — what you consider to be — the mistake of looking into his big, worried eyes once more, and you just completely fall apart in front of him.

the tears begin to flow before you can even comprehend it.

“it’s just—god, i don’t even know why i’m so fucking emotional, i just—” your breath shudders, the mildly angry expression that was previously on your face now nowhere to be found, “everything’s been so stressful recently, and i’m scared i won’t pass my classes, and i feel like such a slow learner compared to everyone else—”

he’s rubbing your back, just allowing you to you let everything out. he keeps quiet.

“i feel fucking fragile. and weak. every little thing is just too much right now. i’m sorry, i feel stupid.”

he lets you cry into his chest as his arms are wrapped around you, one hand softly rubbing the back of your head. “don’t feel stupid, baby. you can vent to me, always.”

the sound of your heavy sobs hurt him, because he feels like you’re always so hard on yourself, but he’s glad you’re releasing them. it’s healthier to let it all out than to keep it in.

“it’s just like i can’t breathe, y’know?” you mutter in the crook of his neck, subconsciously wetting his shirt with your tears, “i can’t take a single break ‘cause i’ll fall behind. i’m so tired. i feel like i’m not even smart enough to take the damn course, let alone pass the fucking test—”

once he feels like you’re about to start hyperventilating, he moves back to let him look at you. “long breaths. you’re okay, just breathe with me.”

he purposefully takes long, deep breaths, counting the seconds out loud to guide you, and it works. your breathing is steadying bit by bit, sobs faltering, melting into soft hiccups and numbness.

with dried tears and a slightly hoarse voice, you let out a sigh. “i just hate feeling so incompetent. for once, i’d love to feel smart. i wanna feel like i’m able to keep up as well as everyone else does, y’know? i’m… i’m procrastinating everything and i don’t know how to change it. it all sucks.”

“it’s not easy, baby. don’t be too hard on yourself.” he presses a swift kiss to your skin, and you hold him tighter, as if he were to slip out of your hold if you didn’t.

“it’s not easy for me. it is for them.”

“there’s nothing wrong with that. would you think differently if someone in your class had to put more effort into passing the course? you wouldn’t, right? because at the end of the day, you both make it to the finish line. that’s what matters.”

deep down, you know he has a point. you put the pressure so high on yourself, yet don’t apply the same logic to your peers.

you don’t really understand why.

“and you say it’s easy for them, but i know for sure that they put more effort into it than you might think. trust me. you’ll get to where you want to be, one way or another. if you take a little longer to do that than a classmate, who cares. it’s your life. i know you’ve worked so hard—” he twirls a strand of your hair between his fingers, “even if you don’t pass that class now, it won’t be the end of the world, and there’ll be another chance. you’ll get there.”

now there’s just a few last tears running down your cheeks. “except i’m worried that i won’t.”

“you will. and once you do, you’ll be happy that you got to that point because you worked hard and deserve that success. if not today, then tomorrow. yeah?”

you take a deep breath, exhaling slowly, the last shudders of your breakdown bubbling to the surface as your heart rate finally slows back to normal. “yeah. thank you.”

to show your gratitude, you give him a hug, which he happily embraces, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“anytime. i’m here for you.”

even the strongest of people break — but they can still pick up the pieces and start over.

do your best (but maybe not sometimes) <3

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[elizabethsnuts]

The most recent fic with Hotch’s daughter was chef’s kisses! It’s just too cute! Can we get one where baby Hotch has her father’s frown and scowl? The team finds it hilarious but Hotch is so surprised. 😂

Cranky-Pants

Aaron Hotchner x Daughter!Reader

Summary: You didn’t get enough sleep last night and were grumpy all day, the team couldn’t help but find it funny that you looked like your dad when you were angry.

———

Today was just not your day, you were tired, you were cranky, you missed your midday nap and you wanted to take a long sleep but you couldn’t as your dad had taken you to his work again.

Aaron was also not in the best mood as you kept him up for most of the night and now was giving him a hard time because you were tired, so tired that you wouldn’t go down for your nap.

Aaron was holding your hand as he walked out of the elevator, you were trailing a bit behind him, stomping your little feet angrily as you walked. You let out an angry noise and stopped walking as your tiny shoe came undone.

Aaron sighed and knelt down to tie your shoe. “Y/N, I know you’re tired and cranky and I’m sorry but can you please be a little nicer.”

You huffed in annoyance and crossed your little arms. “I nice!”

Aaron looked at you and raised his eyebrow slightly. “You are not being nice to me right now.”

You let out another irritated noise before you squealed as Aaron picked you up and held your arms down so you didn’t flail them around. He walked into the bullpen and immediately heard the giggles and chuckles from his team.

His face contorted into a curious and confused frown. He looked around at the others. “What’s so funny?”

JJ and Derek were giggling, Spencer was covering his mouth to try and contain his laughter. Derek crossed his arms and chuckled again. “She’s got the same frown as you, Hotch.”

Aaron frowned again and quickly looked at your face. “What? No, she doesn’t!”

Derek shook his head and pointed to your face and then to Aaron’s, you were both making the same face. “Yes, she does! You can’t deny something that is right in front of me and I can see with my own two eyes. She’s got the same frown as you.”

Emily smiled and took you out of Aaron’s arms, gently patting your back. “What’s with all the frowning today, cranky pants?”

You looked at Emily with a scowl which caused her to widen her eyes and let out a surprised chuckle. “Woah alright, baby Hotch. You sure do look like your dad when you’re angry.”

You just whined and put your pacifier in your mouth, resting your head on Emily’s shoulder. She started to gently rock you while keeping up the back-patting, trying to get you to sleep. You were very obviously tired.

Aaron looked over to see you half asleep on Emily’s shoulder, he saw your eyes close and the soft sucking of your pacifier slowing. He breathed a sigh of relief as you stopped fighting sleep and eventually gave in.

“I don’t know how you did that, she didn’t sleep at all last night nor did she take her nap today.” Hotch gently rubbed a hand over your back, a small smile on his face as he saw your little frown in your sleep.

Emily chuckled. “What can I say? She loves her Aunty Emily.” She softly stroked your cheek, trying to jokingly pull your frown into a smile. “She looks just like you when she gets cranky, y’know? Same frown, same scowl.”

Aaron chuckled and shook his head. “I didn’t even realise, it’s a bit surprising.”

Emily raised an eyebrow and smiled, still gently rocking you. “Surprising that she looks like her dad?”

Aaron shrugged and smiled back at Emily. “Just thought she looked more like Haley.”

Emily looked back at your face, quietly studying it. “I don’t know, I think she looks like you both. I definitely see you in her though, especially in her expressions.”

Aaron’s smile widened into a genuine one, he gently took you back into his arms. You stirred a little, moving your head around. Aaron quickly but gently moved it onto his shoulder, softly combing his fingers through your hair. “Shh-Shh-Shhh, it’s just me, sweetheart. Go back to sleep.”

You mumbled in your sleep quietly and relaxed into him, your tiny fingers gripping his suit. You loved your dad even if you did get angry at him because you were tired.

[homesick4la]

complicated — hamzahthefantastic

4. stay here forever

contains: fluff!!! sfw!!!!

summary: idk but this one is just abt sweet connection and intimacy without sex yay

a/n: not proofread i’m tired lol also this one is rlly short sorry…will post a long one next

last part: brown eyes at the entrance

it was half past midnight when you finally had enough of hamzah’s tossing and turning.

being in a studio apartment, you could hear every single shift of hamzah’s body on your couch. the creek of the springs, the sound of him sighing as he flips over.

you roll over, pulling a pillow over your head in attempt to muffle the sound. but after a few minutes, the sound of hamzah still trying to find a comfortable position was still keeping you awake.

you sit up, looking over at him. “hamzah,” you whisper. “what’s happening?”, your voice tainted in annoyance.

he sits up, looking over to you. “sorry, just- this couch is too short and my back is killing me.” he explains as he uses one hand to massage his back.

you let out a sigh, “okay, just- come here.” you say as you shift your body to the right, making room in the bed.

“really? you sure?” he questions before moving off the couch.

“yeah, it’s fine- i literally slept in your bed last night.” you laugh.

“i know, but you didn’t show up drunk on my doorstep. i deserve to sleep on this hard ass couch- as a punishment.” he rambles tiredly.

“shut up. i need to sleep and so do you.”

he smiles before he walks over to your bed, pulling back the sheets and laying down next to you. his body was stiff near the edge of the bed. he laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling before he spoke.

“this feels weird.” he says, eyes still glued to the ceiling above him.

“you’re weird.” you tease.

“i don’t know, it’s just feels like i’m gonna wake up to you kicking me out or telling me this was all just a dream or something.” he chuckles as he shifts his body to lay on his side and face you.

you copy him, turning your body towards him too, now leaving your faces just inches apart.

“mm maybe this is all just a dream.” you say, wiggling your fingers in front of his face as if you were some sort of wizard.

“hey! if this is a dream, that makes you my sleep paralysis demon.”

“calling me a demon while i’m letting you sleep in my bed is crazy.”

“it’s not my fault that you have such a small couch.” he laughs.

“this is a studio apartment! i literally couldn’t fit any other couch!” you defend yourself as he continues to laugh over you. “okay i’m done putting up with this ungrateful attitude. goodnight.” you say, turning your body around and facing away from him as you pretend you’re angry.

“no no no! come back!” he chuckles, his arm pulling at your waist in attempt to face you toward him again. “i’m kidding! i love it here!”

“even though your couch is hard as rocks and my feet dangle off the side.” he continues as you turn back around to face him, giggling. “i’m very grateful to be here- it’s cozy.”

“is cozy a nice word for small?” you ask.

“no, no- it’s cozy because it’s so..you.” he says, thinking of the constant faint scent of vanilla that lingers in your apartment and the gentle warm glow of string lights that you almost always had on.

“so me? how?” you tilt your head curiously.

“just, all of it. the soft lighting, the little details of all the decorations, even the way it smells..you’ve just made this place so comforting.” he explains, his arm still draped over your waist.

you smile at him, you always prioritized your space and to hear that it was a perfect reflection of yourself made you happy. you settle into his embrace, your body getting closer to his.

“it’s funny isn’t it? how this feels more intimate than what we did last night?” he asks, his face so close to yours, your noses could touch.

“i guess it’s because it was easier to pretend a hook up was casual but this, this is different.”

“different, how?” he asks, his eyes staring directly into yours.

“because, what i feel right now, just lying here with you- it can’t be dismissed as lust or desire.” you pause for a second, “i feel like every part of me is bound to you in a way i just can’t ignore.” you admit.

there was something about how late it was— the darkness, the quiet— that made it easier to admit things like that. the late hour made everything feel unreal, like you were in another world. and in this new reality, you were safe to be vulnerable.

he lets your words linger for a while, collecting his own thoughts.

“maybe you’re not supposed to ignore it. maybe we should let ourselves be present with each other, and just feel everything we’re feeling.”

you nod at his response, agreeing with him.

“and being here with you, right now, just feels so right, y/n- feels like i’m meant to be here.”

you smile at him before placing you hand on his cheek, rubbing it gently with your thumb.

you laid on your back once again and he moved to you, resting his head on your chest. you cradle his head, massaging your fingers in his curls.

holding him close- it was like holding the entire world in your arms.

he closed his eyes in your embrace, the gentle touch of your fingers running through his hair making him feel incredibly tired.

“this is definitely a dream.” he said sleepily, “and you’re the sweetest sleep paralysis demon, i’ve ever had.”

you sigh as a smile creeps onto your face, “you’re an idiot. go to sleep.”

he chuckles lightly before it goes silent.

after a few seconds, he speaks again.

“just missed you so much, y/n. don’t wanna lose you again.” he says softly, his eyes still closed.

you sigh, moving one of your hands to his back, tracing gentle patterns to it. “i’m right here, h. you’re not losing me.”

“but what if i mess things up again?”

“shh. don’t worry about that right now. just go to bed.” you cooed.

you didn’t want to think about things ending, not when things just started again.

you feel his head slightly nod in response. you continued running your hand down his back absentmindedly. the other playing with the soft curls at the nape of his neck.

you wanted to remember this moment forever. you took note of the warmth of skin through the thin fabric of his shirt. his weight against you making you feel grounded. the faint rise and fall of his chest. the way his arm was curled around your waist lazily, like even while asleep, he was reaching for you.

he sighed in his sleep, his body sinking deeper into your embrace. everything about this moment was perfect. sweet. intimate.

the night prior had reminded of you of what a strong physical connection you two had. but this meant so much more to you. because it was more than love, more than lust, or whatever complicated mess of emotions you two still shared. it was trust. it was vulnerability.

after the complete chaos toward the end of your relationship and all that time apart- he still felt safe with you. and that meant everything.

…

you wake up, squinting at the sunlight filtering through your curtains. you look over shoulder, seeing hamzah still peacefully asleep.

as you attempt to stretch, the arm draped over your waist tightens, pulling you closer as he nuzzled his face to your shoulder.

“hamzah, it’s almost ten, we gotta get up.” you say.

“five more minutes.” he replies, his voice muffled by your shoulder.

“no, gotta get up now. you’re getting drool all over my shoulder.” you respond, trying to wiggle out of his hold.

“it’s not drool. it’s…condensation. science, babe. google it.” he says, eyes still closed and face still pressed to your shoulder.

“the sassy man apocalypse is real and i am a victim of it.” you exclaim.

he chuckles, lifting his head and pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your neck.

“was i a good couch guest?” he asks jokingly as you settle into his hold, realizing your fight to get up was useless.

“you were until you threw a temper tantrum over the comfort of my couch and forced me to let you sleep in my bed.” you tease.

“nuh-uh. you practically begged me to get in your bed. don’t lie.” he shoots back.

you laugh as you turn around to face him.

“hi.” he whispers, staring into your eyes.

“hi.” you smile, reaching up and brushing a stray curl from his forehead.

“baby, let’s go back to sleep.” he protests, pulling you to his chest.

“i forgot how lazy you are.” you giggle.

“i just like sleeping, alright? nothing wrong with that.”

“really living up to the whole ‘nap queen’ thing, huh?” you joke.

“yeah, i’m authentic to my brand.” he replies.

you allow yourself to fall back asleep for another thirty minutes before actually getting out of bed, forcing hamzah to get up with you.

you two go through your morning routines together before making breakfast. dancing around the kitchen and bumping into one another while cooking.

while sat eating at your small dining table, he looks over at you and smiles.

“you busy tomorrow night? i wanna take you somewhere.”

you can’t contain the smile on your face. “i’ll check my calendar.” you joke, giggling at your own “hard to get” act.

the truth was that hamzah had you wrapped around his finger. you knew that. and you gladly accepted it.

next part: apocalypse

a/n: why do i always get the motivation to write at 1 am 😔😔😔😔 anyway sorry if this story is messy i genuinely have like no plan i just write but i AM planning on writing some angsty chapters eventually so be ready hehheheh k bye muah

[revelboo]

The sideswipe and sunstreaker story has been a blast to read!! Talk about being stuck between a rock (sides treating the human like they’re a barely sapient baby animal) and a hard place (sunny being so openly unhappy with the arrangement) lmao

I’ve always had a soft spot for the disaster twins. The very first fanfic I ever wrote was about them years ago

Can’t Finish What You Started Pt 7

Sunstreaker x Reader, Sideswipe x Reader

• “Here.” Startling when a blanket is dropped on your head, you frown up at Sunstreaker and he scowls right back as Sideswipe watches. “You’re not eating,” he adds, reaching out to nudge the box of cereal at you. And then waiting expectantly until you cave and dig out a handful just so he’ll stop hovering and worrying. Ever since the awkwardness of you getting caught singing to him like he was a little kid, he’s been marginally less irritable toward you. A very small margin, but it’s something.

• Uncomfortable with the way you’re smiling up at him and Sideswipe’s own grin, Sunstreaker stalks past to retrieve an energon cube. Leaning a hip against the storage cabinet that you’d taken over as your space. Wheeljack had been busily making human things for all of the little organics after a mixture of angry ranting, pleading, and general miserableness from the Ark’s smallest residents had made it apparent that they were being unwittingly neglected. A big chunk of your space being dedicated to waste disposal and a little wash rack, it’s that space you head toward arms stretched over your head and little hips swaying.

• Watching you disappear under the blankets draped over the crude frame erected around what you refer to as your bathroom, Sideswipe leans his chin on a fist. One time he’d gotten curious enough to lean over the open top of your ‘private’ space. It’d been a surprise to see you without your coverings, wet and disturbingly like a little protoform as you stared up at him, eyes wide. Sometimes before recharge he finds himself thinking about how soft you’d looked, wet and furious. And he hadn’t realized your voice could be so painfully shrill when you were angry. They’d tried to fully enclose the spaces at first, but after Cliffjumper’s had hidden nearly nine hours in theirs refusing to come out until Cliff had started dismantling the walls, the roof, door, and walls were removed on all of them.

• Stripping and stepping into the warm spray, you keep half your attention on the open top of your bathroom. Because Sideswipe is a jerk and a voyeur. While you doubt your wet organic form does anything for him, you still don’t want to be stared at while showering and naked.

• Keeping an optic on Sideswipe to make sure he doesn’t bother you, Sunstreaker runs a polishing cloth over his armor and waits. Not because he cares about your weird human modesty, but because he isn’t the least bit interested in that awful noise you make that Sideswipe seems to find hilarious. Head lifting when the door to their quarters opens, he frowns at Wheeljack and the human he’s carrying cradled to his chassis. “What did your human do?” Wheeljack asks, servos flexing as his leans out dangerously far from his hand to look around. “Are they a medic?”

• “Medic?” Sideswipe asks, setting aside his energon cube. “Someone’s hurt?” One of the tiny organics? Walking past Sunny and ignoring his growled ‘don’t,’ he leans over the blanket draped enclosure. Sees your eyes widen right before you start screaming profanity at him. “Are you a medic?” He asks with a grin, watching as you try to cover yourself with your hands. Leaning back as you throw your little bottle of cleanser at him and miss badly. Screaming at him to get out. “Don’t think they’re a medic.” Laughing when Sunny grabs him by an arm and drags him away.

• Swearing and red faced, you grab one of the torn strips from a blanket that pass as towels and wrap it around yourself, shoving out of the bathroom with soap still in your hair and stinging your eyes. Stopping short when you see the other Autobot and the human in his hand that waves awkwardly at you. That calms some of the fury humming through you at least, fingers tightening on your towel, you exhale. “I am-was a digital artist,” you mutter, aware of Sunstreaker’s head turning to look at you curiously.

Previous

Next

[shuacore]

seventeeners' random habits <3

not sure where these came from but ye! not all really nervous habits but maybe... personal habits? quirks? idk (sfw)

--

seungcheol — clenching his jaw.

seungcheol never really gets angry, but he is incredibly impatient. his temper flares easily, whether it’s over stupid drivers or not having the right ingredient to make dinner in the fridge. quick to appear, quick to fade. even if he’s not irritated anymore, seungcheol will hold his tension in his jaw, clenching his teeth so hard you’re worried he’ll do permanent damage. when you catch him with his mouth shut tight, you’ll swipe a finger under his chin–just a little touch–that breaks his concentration. his eyes will widen when he realizes how tense he’s been, and as soon as he releases his jaw you see the tension melt from the rest of his body.

jeonghan — too blunt.

he considers himself to be an honest guy, but sometimes he’s a little too honest. you’ve gotten used to the way he offers his opinions–never with ill-intent, but often straight to the point and without padding—but others usually aren’t. when he’s talking to a friend about their problems, sometimes he’ll run a message by you before sending it. he wants to be transparent all the time, but that doesn’t mean he can’t sugar coat the truth every now and then.

joshua — adjusting his clothing.

joshua cares a lot about his appearance—maybe to a fault. he has a smooth, easy demeanor out in public, but you can tell he’s nervous when his fingers fiddle with the hem of his shirt or when he tries to pull it down every few seconds. readjusting his necklaces, running his fingers through his hair to make sure it lays the way it should. but joshua always looks great, so when he seems extra nervous you slide your hand down his spine to rest at the small of his back. he finds it reassuring and uses it as a reminder to just take a breath. 

jun — rambling.

jun isn’t very good at keeping quiet space. he doesn’t do it to be rude or annoying, he just has a lot to say and he likes to share with you. while it took a little getting used to, jun also brought more curiosity out of you. if you look like you’re in the middle of something he’ll ask if it’s a good time (even though sometimes he’ll still barge into your office and start talking anyway), but regardless, you’ve gotten used to the mindless chatter in the background. all jun needs every now and then is a nod to know you’re listening. 

wonwoo — jiggling his leg.

he doesn’t even realize when he’s doing it anymore. wonwoo has a lot of nervous energy, especially when he gets put in unfamiliar settings, like the first time he met your parents or when he’s meeting your coworkers. he’ll bounce his right leg so fast even while in conversation with your dinner guests or while listening intently to something your father says. you can feel the vibrations through the floor and will give him a small smile while resting your palm on his knee. it’s just a tick for him, but he knows it makes you nervous sometimes so he makes a conscious effort to reel it in as often as possible.

jihoon — insomniac.

jihoon has on and off periods of insomnia. you try to help lessen the severity by going to bed around the same time as him, and getting ready for work as quiet in the mornings as possibly so as not to wake him. over the years you’ve gotten better about recognizing potential aggravators, like lights shining through windows or noisy streets. you make an effort to keep his favorite tea stocked in the cupboards and the room as dark as possible. he appreciates all the effort, especially the nights you stay up with him despite his protests that you go back to sleep. even if you end up falling asleep on him anyway, jihoon is grateful you’re willing to try.

soonyoung — frowning.

like seungcheol, soonyoung is an intense guy. everything is all or nothing, and sometimes the expectation of perfection leaves a lot of tension in his body. more often than not his face is frozen in a frown, brow furrowed deeply. he’s not angry—sometimes he’s just concentrating. when he’s been stuck in Work Mode for too long, you’ll take your thumb and smooth it over the spot in between his eyebrows. soonyoung will smile sheepishly when he realizes he’s been glaring at the tv screen. “see? that’s better,” you’ll say as his face finally relaxes.

minghao — gets lost in thought easily.

minghao is a deep thinker and someone of few words. the times he really opens up are late at night, when the stars have blossomed and the two of you are heavy with wine and sleep. he loves to discuss huge topics about morality and relativity and history, and more often than not gets caught in his head before his mouth has a chance to catch up. usually he stops talking, voice trailing off as he works through whatever big idea is growing in his head. typically you let him work it out in his own time, or you’ll catch his attention by brushing your thumb across the back of his hand. minghao just has so many ideas sometimes he needs someone to bring him back to earth.

mingyu — picking at his skin.

mingyu is generally fidgety, but when he gets nervous his fingers find their way to his skin—his face, his arms, his hands, his knees. you have a facial expression reserved for silently telling him to stop picking. sometimes he picks his skin until he bleeds and doesn’t even realize it. on bad days the only solution is to patch him up after. you keep bandaids with silly cartoon characters on them under your bathroom sink where you can access them easily. mingyu is trying to be more mindful of when he does it, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t also love the way you press kisses to all of his injuries, too.

seokmin — humming.

for someone as musical as him, asking seokmin not to sing is like asking him not to breathe. usually it’s a lovely soundtrack as you do your daily tasks: a commercial jingle he heard on the TV as you brush your teeth and get dressed, his favorite song as you walk to the nearby grocery store, whatever’s on the radio as you make dinner. it can be a little much, however, if you’re trying to read or need to focus on a deadline for work. in those moments, seokmin is gracious enough to stay out of your way so as not to disturb you. he really tries to be quiet but it doesn’t always stick.

seungkwan — tapping.

his fingers are always moving. tapping on his knee, cracking his knuckles, scratching at the back of his neck. seungkwan always has so much energy and you have no idea where he gets it all. if he has to sit still for a while or concentrate on something, he needs to keep his fingers busy at the least. if you’re in public you’ll offer your palm for him to tap on or your leg. he likes to play with your fingers or tap patterns into the soft skin of your thigh while he talks about something else entirely. it’s a win for everyone.

vernon — nail biting.

when he’s trying to concentrate, when he’s anxious, even when he’s not thinking about anything at all, vernon bites his nails. most of the time he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it and he’ll look at you in surprise when you point it out. you’ve tried the gross-tasting nail polish or keeping his nails clipped short, but neither worked for very long. the two of you have found the best method every time you catch him doing it is to gently tug his hand from his mouth, intertwining your fingers instead.

chan — terrible short-term memory.

he doesn’t forget things out of spite or for lack of effort, he just has a horrible memory. you’ve gotten into the habit of leaving notes around the house on bright blue post-it notes you know he can’t miss. you send him addresses to places before he has to leave because you know he’ll forget them. chan knows how exhausting it can be to constantly keep him in check, so he takes extra care to pick up on chores around the house he knows you hate. he might forget he has a dentist appointment tomorrow at 3, but if you forget to empty the dishwasher after a long day at work—fear not, lee chan has already done it.

--

lol! if anyone has any other ideas for a series of headcanons... pls send them my way i am craving more practice <3

everything else!

[insidekatmind]

Halloween night~Jude Bellingham

Wearning: +18, smut, english is not my first language

The Halloween party at Kylian’s house was in full swing, but despite the colorful music and lights, the atmosphere between you and Jude was tense. You had a big fight just before you arrived, and now he couldn’t take his eyes off you, irritated by the way you ignored him.

You were dressed as a sexy cop: your tight uniform, high boots and provocative badge left nothing to the imagination. Jude, on the other hand, was the "prisoner" of the evening, with a striped suit and handcuffs that, ironically, you had chosen to keep. Your naughty laugh with his teammates and friends of Kylian seemed to only make Jude’s mood worse, who watched you with a raised eyebrow and an increasing tension in his eyes.

"You really want to ignore me all night?" she whispered in your ear as she stopped you against the kitchen counter. "Or do you think it’s enough to ignore me and flirt with anyone to make me nervous?"

But you just smiled innocently. "I’m not ignoring anyone, Jude. Maybe it’s you who’s taking everything too seriously."

He closed his eyes, clearly trying to keep calm. "You are really testing my patience."

With a mischievous air, you pulled the cuff from one of his hands and attached it to his wrist, making him laugh ironically. "Very funny, officer," she whispered in a husky voice. "But don’t think you’ll escape me so easily."

When Jude gave you that look of irritation and possessiveness, you stared at him with a smirk that said it all: you didn’t believe for a moment that he was really angry. With a shrug and an innocent expression, you walked away, leaving him there to puff out of frustration.

As he watched you move away, his gaze fell upon your police costume. The very short skirt barely touched your thighs, highlighting your legs and leaving little room for imagination. Every movement you made seemed to draw attention, and Jude found himself biting his lip as a growing jealousy crept into his chest. The way the fabric adhered perfectly to the curves of your hips and your butt made him rise a mixture of anger and desire.

When Jude finally returned to the main hall, he immediately saw how the boys around you were looking at you. Some cast you stared in obvious admiration, others smiled at you, looking for any excuse to talk to you and earn a little of your attention. But what really made him angry was that you weren’t ignoring them at all. On the contrary, you answered with that provocative smile of yours and let their looks follow you as you moved around the room.

Jude clenched his fists, breathing deeply to try and calm down. He could not believe how you were behaving. Every gesture, every light laugh, every mischievous look you threw at the guys around you seemed calculated to provoke him.

At last, he approached you, whispering in a low and possessive tone: "Do you really think that you can continue to behave like this without consequences? You’re a little bitch, but you know you’re still mine."

You smiled without losing your provocative attitude. "Oh yes? Because it doesn’t seem to me that you can handle the situation, Jude..."

His eyes darkened. "Be careful, because when we get out of here, I’ll remind you who’s in charge."

And there he was on his bed, naked with your ass up while you were already coming twice but Jude didn’t care, he pushed hard his cock inside you while holding your wrists locked in which were in turn locked by the handcuffs.

You can’t look at him but you could feel his anger and possessiveness as you felt your sore pussy as Jude banged his cock inside of you ignoring your pleading to slow down. The more you told him to slow down, the more he’d push and slap you on the butt

"You had fun teasing me all night, didn’t you?" He murmured with a deep tone, the warm breath near your ear as he was fucking you hard. A shiver ran down your back as he pulled your hair to one side and lowered his head, starting to bite your neck. His bites were sensual but at the same time possessive, alternating with sensual kisses, but always with that possessive touch that made you feel completely in his hands.

He kept fucking you while you felt that you were coming on his dick for the third time that night, you felt overstimulated but Jude did not seem to care. You tried to move but the cuffs were tight, reminding you that Jude was in control. You felt his fingers exploring the curve of your back, going down your hips, while he kept biting you, leaving little marks as if to claim every inch of you and push you inside.

"This is the punishment for your naughty behaviour," he whispered at one point, his voice slightly hoarse as his hands brushed firmly against you. "Now there is no one to admire you... but me."

Under the weight of his cock that was destroying your pussy as your apology started to come out in a broken whisper, while he kept on keeping control without any intention to slow down.

"Sorry... Jude, please..." you murmured, the voice trembling, but he did not want to stop. On the contrary, you felt a low and provocative laugh slip from his lips.

"Ah, now do you mind?" he said amused, as he approached his ear to whisper in a smug tone. "It doesn’t seem enough. Say it louder, love."

You felt the warmth of his hands as he held you still, his heavy breath near your neck. Every time you tried to move or resist, his impulses became more pronounced, leaving you breathless.

"Sorry, Jude," you whimpered, your voice choked at the intensity of the moment. But he chuckled again, as if your pleading were only an incentive to push you further.

"I can’t hear you, love... I want you to say how sorry you are for teasing me tonight." His voice was a mix of authority and fun, and you felt he wouldn’t give up until he got exactly what he wanted from you.

With a combination of frustration and desire, I finally decided to give in. "Sorry, Jude," I said in a louder voice, trying to sound like the "good girl" he wanted. "I’m really sorry that I made you angry."

At those words, his smile widened, revealing a satisfaction that made your heart beat. With a gentle gesture, he took your chin between his hands and turned your head slightly towards him. His eyes fixed on yours, conveying a mixture of authority and affection, as he bent down to kiss you softly. His lips touched yours with a gentle touch, as if he wanted you to feel how much he wanted you, but at the same time he wanted to keep control.

As his urges diminished, your sighs grew deeper, and each touch seemed to wrap you in a mixture of pleasure and release. His hands slipped from your hips, slowly climbing up the back as he kissed you tenderly. "Here, that’s better," I murmured against your lips, the gentler tone but always full of that tension you had learned to know.

"See? It wasn’t that hard, was it?" he continued, stroking your skin with his fingers, giving you a shiver of pleasure. "But now that you’ve apologized, we need to make sure you never forget who’s in control here."

His lips moved back to your neck, while his gaze was fixed on your face, to make sure that every breath you took was a reflection of his dominion and affection.

As Jude kept pushing, his thrusts began to be a little sweeter,but each movement was loaded with intensity. Your groans mixed with deeper sighs as you tried to get closer to him, wanting to hear him even more. But the handcuffs that locked your wrists and his hand that held you still prevented you from moving as you wanted.

"Jude..." you murmured, your voice a mixture of frustration and longing. You felt a conflict between the desire to get close to him and the impossibility of doing so. Every movement of his seemed designed to make you feel every moment of that moment, every push became a way for you to feel the power he had over you.

He smiled, noticing your desire to free you. "Do you want to get closer, huh? But how can I let go when you look so... Funny like this?" he said in a warm, provocative voice. His words were a game, a way to make you feel both vulnerable and wanted.

"You should know that this is exactly where you want to be," he added, continuing to move gently, making sure that every contact was as pleasant as it was frustrating. His gaze was fixed on you, watching your every reaction, every sigh, as if it were the most important thing in the world.

Trying to keep control over yourself, you let yourself go to pleasure, savoring every moment, even if your mind screamed for the desire to feel closer. Jude seemed to understand your torment perfectly and enjoyed prolonging it, making that moment even more intense. "Sorry, love. But tonight you’re mine," she whispered, as the rhythm increased again, every push that seemed to respond to your desire, while her hand kept holding you in place, ensuring that you couldn’t get away.

Frustration and desire mixed in a vortex of emotions inside you. Feeling the need to get closer to Jude, you began praying. "Please, Jude... take off my handcuffs. I just want to feel you closer," you begged, trying to keep your voice still despite the pleasure you felt.

Jude smiled, amused by your request. "Oh, love, you’re so adorable when you beg. But I can’t let you go so easily," he replied, continuing to push with a rhythm that alternated sweetness and intensity. His expression was of pure satisfaction as he enjoyed the power he had over you.

"Think how much better it’ll be when I take off your cuffs. You’ll have to earn it, you know?" he said, almost provocatively. Every word of his seemed a challenge, but the way he moved was a promise of pleasure.

Your desire to get close to him grew second by second. "Please... I just want to hear you. I can’t... I can’t resist," groaning, trying to express how much I needed him.

"You’re so irresistible when you ask," she continued to amuse herself, her voice warm and sensual. "But remember, tonight it’s your turn to show how willing you are to give in."

With every push, his words resonated in your mind. The urge to get rid of the handcuffs increased, but every movement it made you forget for a moment your frustration, wrapping you in a mixture of pleasure and desire. Jude kept looking at you with burning eyes, his smile was a reflection of your vulnerability and submission at the time.

"Don’t worry, honey. There will be time to enjoy freedom," she whispered, as she kept making you feel all her love and possessiveness, holding you exactly where she wanted.

As your body began to respond to Jude’s increasing pace, you felt the pleasure of again accumulating more and more, bringing you closer to that much-desired release. Each push seemed to bring you one step closer to a summit you had longed for, and at that moment, I decided to act as he wanted. You gave up all resistance and let yourself go completely, welcoming the moment and all its sensations.

"Here, that’s good," Jude whispered with a smug smile. "You see it wasn’t so hard? You’re such a good girl when you want to be." His voice was full of approval as he looked at you with a mixture of desire and pride.

In that moment of vulnerability, you felt a deep connection with him. Every whimper and sigh seemed to resound in the air, amplifying the intimate atmosphere charged with electricity. The handcuffs were blocking you, but now it felt almost liberating; you felt safe in his arms, knowing he was in control.

"Yeah, so, love... let go," he continued, his smile widening as he saw you react. Each movement became more sweet, as if he was in perfect harmony with your body. Your surrender to his urges and the pleasure you felt seemed to fuel his own excitement.

The tension in your body grew, and you could not help but let go of the deepest groans and longing sighs. Jude seemed to appreciate every moment, enjoying your response and vulnerability. "Yes, love, I want to hear how good I make you feel," she muttered, continuing to push softly as her gaze fixed on you, completely absorbed in your expression of pleasure.

With every passing moment, you were getting closer and closer to the final release, and you knew that Jude was there for you, ready to take you to that climax you so desperately wanted.

With two more pushes you came and he smiled as he finally took off the handcuffs and you immediately tried to hold him closer to him smiled as he changed your position, By making you spin with your belly all the way up as she tied your legs on her waist and started pushing softly as she began to kiss you and you moaned.

"you’re so beautiful" whispered on his lips while and you moaned as you held him closer to you while you scratched his back and he groans and came inside you.

You groaned as you felt its warm seed inside your walls while Jude leaned his head into the hollow of your neck, sighing as he felt your hands caressing his hair.

[dokidokidraft]

MHA boys HC

Hello lovelies! This is my first post, I hope you enjoy! includes: Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugo, Shoto todoroki

(more next time)

Does include swearing ;-; (because it’s Katsuki)

~Izuku Midoriya~

-ANYTHING will get this man flustered. Even if you wave at him, his face is already red, and as soon as you talk to him, he’s a stuttering mess

-he eventually warms up to you though. He’ll still get flustered but he will at least be able to speak now

-play with his hair. Please.

-hold on to his arm instead of his hand. He loves it

-he’s really sensitive, so try not to be too mean (^_^)

-if you kiss his freckles (or anywhere on his face, just especially freckles) he will blush like crazy (obvi) and the immediately pull you in for a hug. Now you won’t be able to go anywhere until he gives you all the love in the world

-style his hair. Those curls just need to be taken care of T~T

-def doesn’t do enough self care. Just help him out for me, alright? I’m talking face masks, top coat for his nails (PLZ- this man’s hands 😣), skincare, R+R

-speaking of R+R, his favourite way to relax is Netflix and chill, with his head in your lap and you playing with his hair (never going to stop with his hair I js love it sm)

-will literally throw himself out of the car just to open the door for you. Probably has hurt himself a few times from this

-super insecure about his scars!!! Poor baby. The first time you traced his scars, he cried.

-his hands are so rough! (In a good way obvi) like, they feel like sandpaper most of the time, and he’s really insecure about those too >_< -probably has written so much about your quirk that it takes up a whole notebook! You’re just so much more interesting to him than anyone else. Also has other notebooks filled with the things you like/dislike. Literally anything you told him about yourself is written down somewhere

-his laugh is the most heavenly thing. It’s so sweet and genuine. Same with his smile :)

~Katsuki Bakugo~

-this man is so angry all the time, but if you get close enough to him (takes a long time plz be patient) he has such a soft spot for you!!!

-literally the best cook in existence

-being together for dinner with him looks like him teaching you a new recipe, and you guys cooking together. Still yells a lot at you tho (we love him for it)

-hugs from behind ✨ (iykyk)

-brags about you to the bakusquad all the time. “did you see y/n on the battle field!?!? She totally smoked your ass dunceface!”

-swears a lot while talking to you about his day. “And then the fucking lady decided to steal that guys shitty bag! It wasn’t even a nice bag, it looked like it came out of the motherfucking apocalypse!”

-shows his love through actions. Words are hard for him (see the one above)

-makes fun of you all the time

-if he’s about to yell and he knows you’re sensitive, he’ll cover your ears before he yells (this one isn’t my hc, just something I’ve seen a lot)

-he’s a bit of a brat. He just likes seeing you pissed off. Thinks it’s adorable

-very affectionate when you’re alone. Other than that, PDA isn’t very good…maybe he’ll hold your hand or wrap is his arm around your waist so people know to back off, but he gets embarrassed easily.

-shows off around you so much. As soon as you show up to one of his arena fights (different headcanon, might elaborate later) he immediately wins.. you just give him the right motivation with you watching

-he hates when you play with his hair, but he LOVES to touch yours. If it’s long enough, he’ll braid it. Or if it’s not he’ll give you little scalp massages 😮‍💨

-bullies your bullies. He knows you can handle yourself, but you gotta use your scary boyfriend privileges sometime

~Shoto todoroki~

-if you’re too cold or too hot, he’ll use his quirk to help with that.

-also, it’s canon that he’s usually very cold himself, but can’t regulate his fire well enough to be a good temperature so he deals with it. So cuddles are a must to keep him warm

-he’s so insecure about it his scar, he thinks it makes him ugly and unlovable (canon) so he needs constant reassurance

-poor bae gets night terrors

-takes you to all the new restaurants in town. You guys have been every single one at least once

-make homemade (cold) soba for him or else *_*

-not that it matters to him, but Endeavor does not approve of him dating, so be prepared for arguments. You guys will win in the end though

-so sassy. Loves to back talk

-walks together late at night 😌💅

-not very talkative, he’d rather listen to you ramble. Literally the opposite of izuku in that way

-takes all your jokes way too seriously. You have to explain everything, but after that he’ll laugh with you about it

-SO oblivious. If you gave him a confession note, he’ll ask if you wanted him to proofread it. Or if you said it to his face, he’d be frozen and then ask “that sounds good, is it a line for a play? I didn’t know you did theatre…”

-rich as hell, takes you shopping and you’re not allowed to pay for anything. Treats you with endeavors credit card 👌

-literally best fashion sense. I’m talking flannels, baggy sweaters with cuffed sleeves, those cargo shorts that have the massive pockets.

Thanks for reading! I hope you guys liked them (>~<)

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Ascended Astarion Manipulation

I'm back on my dark bullshit. Now thinking of your "choice" to be a vampire spawn. Any sane person would refuse, and Astarion is aware of this. So he decides to convince you with some very not good tactics.

Tw: Obsession, manipulation, jealousy, ascended Astarion doing ascended Astarion things, bad, bad, man, toxic relationships

~

Astarion had developed a significant lack of patience ever since reaching Ascension. It was hard to entertain most things when he'd achieved the power to twist the vast majority of situations in his favor. But he was trying his damndest to be patient with you. Despite the fact that your constant refusals made him absolutely furious. You insisted that you loved him, that he was all you would ever want, but yet you still refused to undergo the change.

It's not like he was asking for much, if anything you should be thanking him for the opportunity. He was offering you the gift of immortality, with little to no drawbacks. Besides your unwavering devotion of course. But what was that in the face of absolute freedom? You would never have to worry about a thing again. He would keep you safe and cared for, all while you'd both be free to walk in the sun. He had endless funds now that he had taken over Cazador's estate, unmatched political power in a startlingly short amount of time, considering his work as part of the heroes of Baldur's gate, and the power to obliterate nearly any mortal enemy he could think of. Anything you desired he could give, if you would just let yourself take that final step.

But as much as he wanted to be solely angry at you, he really only had himself to blame. Why had he insisted on being so descriptive about the limitations of being a spawn? He had been such a cowardly moron back then, with no imagination to imagine a better future. And now he was paying for it. While it was true he would never make you a fully fledged vampire, it didn't mean he would mistreat you. He loved you. Adored you more than anything else in existence. And having you as his spawn, his official consort would be for your benefit just as much his. This was the only way he would have complete control over you, fully able to protect you from everything. Including yourself.

But you weren't buying his lies about eventually becoming equals. The offer of giving you everything you ever wanted also fell flat, considering how he was already doing that. He just couldn't help but spoil you.

He had started to wonder if he should just force it. He would prefer not to, but he would if it came to it. But he didn't get this far by not using his brain. Force wasn't the way with you, it never had been. If anything, turning you against your will would just lead to decades of fighting and bickering, something that Astarion would like to avoid if possible. He would hate to make the experience of putting you in your place unpleasant.

No, he would try to be reasonable one more time. And appealing to your emotions, to your guilt, seemed as good a bet as any.

He waited until you were comfortable and relaxed. You were dozing off against his chest in bed while Astarion contemplated the best approach to this conversation. If this didn't work, then he'd just have to bite the bullet and bite you without your consent. Then, he'd probably have to lock you away for a time until you came around to your new state of being, an idea that did send a shiver of excitement up his spine.

But not yet. He was willing to give you one more chance to do the right thing.

He ran the tips of his fingers over your back, taking the time to work up a couple of tears before fully waking you with a seemingly accidental shake. He sniffled loudly, barely managing to hide his smile as you blinked your eyes open. You blearily looked up at him, immediately tensing when you saw the sorrowful expression on his face.

You sat up quickly, concern knitting your brows together as you asked, "Star? What's wrong? What happened?"

Astarion looked away with a shake of his head, "I... I didn't mean to wake you darling. Ignore me, I'll be fine."

You shook your head. You gently turned him back towards you, both hands cupping the sides of his face, "None of that. Tell me? I'll never be able to sleep if I know your upset."

Astarion gripped your wrists as he spoke, his voice soft, "I don't want to upset you."

"You won't," You said, just like Astarion knew you would, "I promise. Just tell me what's wrong?"

He took a deep breath, his voice barely over a whisper when he admitted, "I'm so afraid of losing you, my love. I... I just can't stop thinking about it."

"But I'm not going anywhere-"

"For now," Astarion interrupted, his voice pained. He only had to take a portion of that, "But... one day you'll die. And I won't. I... I don't know how I'll ever live without you."

He could feel you tense up, badly enough for you to almost pull away, but he just tightened the grip he had on your wrists. You sighed, looking away with a guilty frown, "I-we've talked about this. I don't-I'm not ready to be... that."

Astarion could feel that same anger creeping back up at your rejection, but he stomped it down. He could tell that you were semi-buying the act. You were so much smarter then he gave you credit for, never failing to challenge him. Just one more thing he loved about you.

Astarion took a shuddering breath, nuzzling into the palm of your hand, "I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I just... I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," You said softly, "I'm the one who asked."

"But I'm the one who woke you," Astarion argued, "I'm so sorry darling. I want to let this go. I do. But I... I'm scared. Of so many things. I'm afraid that you think... that you think I'm like him. That you don't trust me to take care of you like you deserve. I'm afraid of you dying yes, probably more than anything but... I'm nearly just as terrified of you leaving."

That speech was... a touch too honest for Astarion's liking, but it seemed to be working. He could see tears prickling in your own eyes, your resolve shaken in a way he had yet to seen.

"I-I do trust you. And I know you're not like him. I'm just... I'm scared too. What if... what if you get tired of me? What if you find someone better suited for you? Then I would just... be there. Forever tied to a man who doesn't want me."

That... actually hurt to hear. Didn't you know that you were it for him? That he would set the whole world ablaze if it meant keeping you safe? No one would ever get between the two of you, he'd slaughter anyone who would even dare try.

Astarion finally let go of your wrists, opting to pull you into a tight hug instead. He cradled you against him, whispering in your ear, "That will never happen. You're mine. There is no one else, nothing else, that will ever change that. And if you let me I'll prove it to you, for all eternity."

You were fully crying now, so, so close to breaking. You just needed a little more to push you over the edge.

"I love you," Astarion murmured, one thing that would never be a lie, "And I can't live without you. I won't. It's either forever with you, or my life ends the day yours does."

"Don't say that," You whimpered, "Please don't say that. I-I don't want that for you."

You were so close to him, so distraught. He could smell the siren call of your blood through your skin, calling out to him. He made the choice then and there, he was biting you tonight. Without or without your consent. It would be up to you if it would be a fight or not.

"Then give me this," Astarion pleaded one more time, his real emotions coming to the forefront, "Let me have this life with you. Please my love, let this happen. Let me change you. For me?"

This was it, your last change. Astarion could only hope that you wouldn't disappoint him.

And you didn't, perfect thing that you were. You were nearly sobbing into his shoulder, but you were nodding against him, your voice barely audible through the tears, "Y-Yes, I'll do it. For you. You... you can change me."

That was all the permission that Astarion needed. He was sinking his fangs into your throat before you could even process it, so, so ready to drain you dry.

You gasped at the unexpected pain, but you didn't fight him. You let it happen like the good pet you were, all you had needed was a little push. He could feel you start to fade away, your body becoming more and more lax as you started to die in his arms.

But that was fine. You were about to be reborn into something better, someone who would never be able to leave his side.

This was it. Now, you were his, in every way imaginable.

You would never be away from him again.

[violetszone]

Charles' crush

Charles x sainz!fem!reader

Summary: Y/N is Carlos's little sister who is like a ball of sunshine sweet to everyone one and Charles had a massive crush on her and always shy when she’s near and always runs away when she try’s to talk to him because he doesn’t want to make a fool out of him self. This makes her sad thinking he doesn’t like her and Daniel and max get angry cause they are bestfriends with her and give Charlie so hard time.

WARNINGS: no proof read

A/n: I don't even remember when I wrote this, I probably wrote it very badly, I will check and fix it later xoxo

"Oh my god look at her!” Charles screamed internally. He couldn't take his eyes off Y/N Sainz. As the girl walked through the paddock, smiling and greeting everyone, Charles watched her with admiration from where he stood. Seeing his gaze turn away, Max and Daniel next to him looked at each other and then at where Charles focused. When they saw Y/N approaching them, they smiled and waved. This girl was their close friend and they valued her.

Charles panicked when he saw Y/N smiling at him and approaching them. He spoke without turning to the people next to him: "She's coming here, why is she coming here, oh, what am I going to do, damn it?" Daniel frowned and looked at Charles, "What are you talking about? she is Y/N! She is always with us. This kid is starting to act weird." While Charles was holding his breath nervously, Max laughed at Daniel and at that moment, Y/N approached them "Hi guys, how are you?" She spread energy to the environment with all her joy and that beautiful smile.  

Daniel and Max hugged you, this time you turned to Charles and looked at him, he was just looking at you and didn't do anything. So you just nodded to him "How are you Charles?" He said something  like "I'm fine" you smiled and he stopped looking at you. Even though you felt bad , you didn't show it Charles mumbled something and quickly left your side. You folded my arms over my chest "I don't understand, he is so good and loving to everyone, what did I do to him? Why does he hate me?" Daniel and Max watched Charles leave "I don't think that you are the problem, come on Y/N everyone loves you" Max said patting her shoulder. While Daniel was still looking after Charles with one eyebrow raised, Max tried to be subtle and hit Daniel's arm. Daniel quickly looked at you and smiled. "yes y/n don't be ridiculous Charles gets distracted sometimes I'm sure it has nothing to do with you" you bit the inside of your cheek and looked at them.

"I don't know, it happens like this every time, he either snaps at me or walks away from me like this." You tried not to think too much, but you were feeling down. "Anyway, I have to go, you also have work to do, see you later, okay?" You left Max and Daniel and walked through the paddock to find your brother.

After you left, Daniel and Max went to Charles, he was sitting alone behind the ferrari horpurality, watching the ground. Daniel sat next to Charles. "What's the matter, buddy, why are you acting like that to Y/N? The girl thinks you hate her." Charles looked at Daniel in shock. "H-hate? Oh no no no no.I...I don't hate her. "How could anyone hate her? She's so kind, sweet and thoughtful, and her smile, my god, she always smells so good-" His  cheeks turned red again when he thought about her. Max gently pushed Charles's head "dumbass. You like her but you make the girl sad. I thought you were smarter than that"

Charles rubbed his face nervously, "I didn't mean to upset her. She's just so nice and I don't want to make a fool of myself in front of her." Daniel put a hand on Charles' shoulder, "If you keep running away from her, you'll make her even more upset.At least chat with her a little.You should have seen her face when she said she thought you hated her. Don't hurt our girl man, she is the sweet little Y/N of all of us.Let's do it this way, come with us, she'll probably come back our side when she sees us, that way you won't be alone with her all the time and she'll know you don't hate her, come on." Charles found what Daniel said logical, but of course he didn't know that Daniel would not implement this plan.

Max, Daniel and Charles came towards where you were. You were sitting alone in the cafe. Max and Daniel quickly sat down. Charles remained standing. Daniel spoke quickly. "How hot is the weather. Charles, you were going to buy us drinks from the other side of the paddock. Right!" He said, pressing the word 'from the other side'. You looked at them incomprehensibly, this time Max spoke, "Well, he has two hands, how can he carry three drinks, look luckily YN's coffee is finished" you frowned cause it wasn't finished, "Come on YN, go get us drinks with Charles, we have some business with Daniel, we will be here anyway."

Even though Charles started to blush, this time he had nowhere to run. Y/N frowned but got up and walked next to Charles. Max and Daniel smiled slyly and waved after them as they walk away.Max took a sip of Y/N's unfinished coffee and turned to Daniel "Good job, man." Daniel laughed. "If he hurts that girl again, I'll kill Charles before her brother does." Max frowned "Does Carlos know?" Daniel looked at him as if to say 'Are you serious?' "Come on, it's obvious from a mile away that Charles likes her." Max shrugged and continued to watch the duo walk away with pleasure.

[thatnonameuser]

What do you think the general reaction would be towards a darling who is very relaxed and apathetic? Doesn't have strong reactions to things, doesn't get attached, doesn't worry. Even when faced with pain or suffering she simply accepts it and smiles. Completely detached from everything and everyone. Treats everyone the same, polite but distant. No fear of anything.

I could see sadistic yanderes like Jade getting frustrated because there's no way to truly distress her, but I'm curious about what you think he and the others would think.

An apathetic MC has to be the strongest darling out of all of them.

Indifferent to everything, even the yanderes. Uncaring about every little thing.

Let me explain how everyone would react.

Jade, our sadistic yandere responds to your apathy with his scariest expression. A calm smile. On the outside, he's as calm as ever, but on the inside, his mind would give seasoned war vets nightmares. Jade sees your apathy as a challenge. He's both angry and excited at your seemingly unbreakable nonchalance. Angry, because he can't seem to affect you no matter how hard he tries. And excited, because this means whatever finally causes you to snap will give him a once-in-a-lifetime kind of satisfaction. You know the saying....There's nothing like making a strong person cry, and he looks forward to that day with baited breath.

As for the others.........

They hate it. They love you, but they hate it. They know that what they're doing isn't the most ideal, but they do everything they do out of love. So please just say something! Say that you love them or hate them, they don't care what. Smile, laugh, cry, just do something! React!

Your lack of a response drives them up a wall. They have you and are happy about that. It's just that you don't ever acknowledge them, and all they crave is your attention and affection. That bleeding wound in their hearts is never full when you’re like this.

So please, they're begging you, just smile, say that you love them, or do anything! They'll give you whatever you want, just don't look at them like they're a stranger. The yanderes that are affected by it are Riddle, Ace, Deuce, Trey, Cater, Jack, Ruggie, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Epel, Idia, Malleus, Silver, Sebek.

Doesn't care, Leona is the King of not giving a shit, and while he is annoyed that you refuse to show him any affection of any kind, he doesn't really care about it as much as the others do.

The big thing is that he doesn't really care about how you feel about this. As a true possessive, he only really cares that you're all his and his alone. He's not one of those weak herbivores that desperately need your love and affection to survive. You being here is enough. And you’re staying whether you like it or not.

(I have an idea in my head that Leona and the darling MC are one of those married couples that look like they just barely tolerate each other, Leona still loves her but he’s not very loving in his behavior, so in this case he doesn't care if you're smiling or crying all he does care about is that you're his)

Floyd, like the others, hates your apathy, but he's very angry about it. With a normal MC, Floyd enjoys watching you react. Watching the fear and panic fill your eyes is fun to him. His shrimpy being boring and not reacting is boring. And he, like Jade, will try to force a reaction out of you. It doesn't work he'll keep trying till he gets one. He doesn't see that as hurting you, but as showing you how he loves you.

Jamil's UM gives him a win here, because he can force you to act affectionate with it. But the blank-eyed stare remains despite how hard he tries. And then he hates your apathy even more, because deep down he knows that it’s fake. Just like the rest of your 'acceptance'. Like the others, all he wants is for you to love him. And even you being brainwashed can't make him feel better.

Rook on the complete opposite end of the spectrum finds your dismissal of his acts ad endearing. No matter what you say or do, Rook finds you as his most important person, and that will never change been , no matter what yo do or say, he'll always be completely obsessed with you. And your lack of a reaction is equally infatuating to him. He wants to know why you're like this and wants to push the boundaries of what you can take. No matter what, he will always be obsessed with you, and he'll never push you to change because he loves your apathy too.

Platonic yanderes, Grim + Staff, don't mind your behaviour unless it affects them. Besides your apathy hurts the yanderes that want to force their tongues down your throat so they couldn't care less about your apathy. If it does affect them, then and only then, will they push you to change.

Ortho and Lilia on the other hand have a problem with it. One of the things they care about is seeing you be with your yandere And that yandere being happy. So like Jade and Floyd they'll try to force you to change the way you act.

Ortho is nicer about it because, he cares about you like his brother does. Lilia isn't, because he wants you to stop this childish phase and just accept what you're given with a genuine smile on your face.

But really, the only winner here is you. Even if you're stuck with them, isn't it worth it to make them suffer too?