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theastrical · 9 months ago

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maybe, in the next life?

Soulmate, separated by death. In an alternate universe where one’s soulmate could be discovered by the red thread around their fingers when they’re in the verge of death.

diluc x reader || first person point of view.

hurt/comfort, angst, rollercoaster ride fr, major character death.

notes: i hate this pls kms.

a year before

“Do you believe in reincarnation?”, i asked diluc, my cheeks were pinkish, well it’s normal because i’m in his sight and we were there, together, for once. he could easily teased me for this…though i wish he did teased me. He looks cold and distance, even when the ice from the juice melts he doesn’t seem to budge. Whatever happened? It seems like he forgets that i’m in front of him..or maybe he doesn’t want to talk to me? I don’t know. So i let diluc wander around until he gets into his senses.

“Why bother asking? of course i do..as a myth though. Not for sure i believe in it. Why?” The way he says it makes me wanna punch him. He could just say no! Why give me hope! “You could’ve just said no! I thought you really did believe in it for a split second!”, i said it with my cheeks now much more red than before due to my rage, well small things really do trigger me, i realise that when diluc pinch my cheeks-“what? You’re acting like a toddler..sorry okay? I was just messing with you.” He chuckles, somehow that sounds sarcastic.

but that is, in fact, one of my favorite moment with him. He would look like he doesn’t care, he would like he hates me…then again i wish he really do hate me.

6 months back

i remembered what happened 6 months ago, i’m in my 20s of course my memory is still up to date. I remembered a spark, a red spark. i didn’t know what happened but i know to well that it doesn’t seem good if the red spark comply it’s sight to me. I was in my father’s funeral and diluc was beside me, sitting down with his left hand on his jacket, the right one hiding it’s physical stature behind the pocket with my left hand. I saw a string, it was from his fingers first, specifically his ring finger.

“Diluc..?”, i move my stiff neck to the sight of his jawline, trying to reach his gaze.

“hm?”

he’s distracted, from the tomb? No, he barely knows my father. From the rain? No. From the crowds of people crying? No, He doesn’t like tears. “do you want to talk about anything?”, my voice quiet, reaching his empty demeanour.

“In front of your father’s tomb?”

“well he’s dead…”

he snickered, “not now.” His small smirk left me blushing, but for what reason? I don’t even like how he snickered at me, maybe it’s because he caught me off guard looking at him with eyes full of hope? i guess that might be the reason.

after that small talk, i know something is up with us.

8 days later.

“oh diluc? why are you calling..“, weird, i told myself. I usually be the one to call him first. He would be choking on his grape juice and cough while he answer my calls. My hands are shaking, excitement from his initiative. That’ll be the second time diluc ever called me, maybe to make some dates? I hope. Or just to say hello to me? I can hope, i can always hope for the best. I’m expecting for the best, since diluc never disappoint me nonetheless. Even when he forgets my birthday, even when he called me when he was drunk from a bet, in my eyes, he’s just a dork who doesn’t know how to interact with the world.

so i jumped into my bed and hold my pillow, acting like a plush to be hugged. Acting like diluc is here hugging my presence, squeezed by me. “Soooo what’s upppp?”, i hope my voice can sweetened whatever he wanted to talk about. I just want to let him know that i can respond to him, that i’m here to listen to him. 10 seconds, he barely reply, he didn’t even gave a sigh per-usual.

that’s weird, diluc always sighed before chuckling.

why is he not chuckling? Did i say something stupid? But all i say is a “what happened” not a “diluc you’re so dumb!!” Which i always say in our date.

“diluc are you th—“

“i’ll get forward okay? I want us to break up.”

“It’s for your own good”

“Please never talk to me again.”

“I’m sorry”

“let’s talk first, you always say the relationship needs communication right..so can we tal—“

“There’s nothing to talk about [name].”

“goodbye, sorry.”

“N-no don’t be so—“

the call died just like that. I was in fact, dizzy as fuck. i wanna scream but i can’t. My grip loosened from my pillow and the cellphone dropped just like that, i didn’t feel the need to cry but i sit there for half an hour with my eyes all empty. and with my last braincell that i currently have, i run to his place, i didn’t even use any sandals or shoes, i run with all of my might to his house, my white robe all dirty from the mud around his place, my eyes red, and my hair cramped up.

i run to his place and knock on his door. I’m your first and last crazy ex…and i know you hate me for that. Yet i can’t help but to knock on your door as rough as i can just for you to talk to me, and told me what i have done wrong in this relationship.

tell me if you need help, your pride isn’t going to help you survive diluc, tell me why should i break up when we’ve been here altogether now.

i knock on his door for hours and i can see his silhouette behind the door…i know he’s keeping his body behind that nasty old door for hours just to keep me back, whilst thinking that he’s not home any longer. But i see everything in that rotten home, i know for too well that diluc presence never leave that home, from his shoes, his corridor, and his maids all inside the house during rainy days.

I’m insane indeed, but i’m here. I want to talk, i want to ask.

And when i see that solemn thread on my finger, connecting to his finger behind that door. i knew what i have to know.

“Diluc…i hate it that you didn’t talk to me about this. I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN THE RED THREAD IS THE ONE TO TELL ME THAT MY FIANCÉE IS GOING TO DIE SOON.”

“DONT LEAVE ME OUT OF YOUR BOOTS…IM ALSO HERE YOU BASTARD!!!”

“don’t come here again, you’re not welcome and look…”

“This is for your own good.”

“IF THIS IS FOR MY OWN GOOD, THEN WHY AM I THE ONE CRYING OVER IT?!! I SHOULDVE BEEN HAPPY BUT NO DILUC, IM HERE ROTTING BECAUSE OF YOUR SELFISH SELF”

“Listen…[name]…you’ll be in pain, but until then…you’ll be thankful that i break this whole thing apart just for your happiness in the future.”

“fuck…” i cried. I finally cried.

“diluc please just talk to me, please…” i slam my head onto the door just so he can hear my desperation.

I love him, god, i really do.

how come i have to leave my man in the hand’s of death before he can enjoy life to the fullest? At least, let me help him prepare his death…so he wouldn’t be afraid of death.

i just wanted another chance. I just wanted him to live. All i asked is for diluc to know that i would never give up on him.

When the door was opened, oh god…

He hugged me.

And he barely sobbed.

“it would hurt a lot.”

“i know, and i’m willing to make this our first and last.”

he snickered, i hate that sound.

“You’re so desperate it cringes me”

“And you’re dumb, that makes us equal.”

and i guess, for months…after months. I’m just there, while you’re in that bed. I would always wheel your wheelchair from one place to another, you always mention that i suck, that i’m not a good company for being all emotional in my line of duty. but then you kissed me and smile. You smiled as if you’re trying to make sure that i no longer cry everytime i look at you. You kissed me and that felt so good. You kissed me and i try to not miss that soon.

“wheel me to that spot…theres so many cats in that exact spot and i know you like that.”

i immediately wheel his chair as fast as i can to meet my lovely kitties. Though it ended up with diluc getting scratched by one of the cats so we left early, then he complained, again and again. Saying that “maybe i’m tougher than the kitty” as if, he’s now just an ordinary man with life support all over his body.

then when we just sit around the hospital, he would gossip…saying that the nurses in here cheat on their husband with that one pretty doctor.

“And how do you know?”

“I just know”

“you can be a good evidence for a lawsuit you know that luc?”

He snickers.

“Unlike you”

i pinch his cheek.

“oh shut up, you’re the one stuck in this wheelchair, IM the one who supposed to help you!”

“And if that’s not because you’re desperate. You’re a little mad you know?”

“I am not!!!”

he snickers again and again just to make me annoyed and i hate that. I wish i never miss that voice, so i can sleep well with the thought you hate me.

now that i know you love me, it’s hard for me to sleep.

then again i remembered when he look at me with an affectionate gaze on his eyes, he was pale, and his hands are already blue. Fuck diluc, whatever have you done to me, it’s working.

“I love you”

when he waves his hands just to make me smile.

when he tried to smile, to blink, just to keep holding my hands while he’s already half there.

And when he tried to make things better, i failed it.

i’m selfish and i didn’t regret any of it.

“let’s meet again.”

he nods. “Where?” He asked with his hoarse voice, possibly from the effect of the drug the doctor forced him to consume.

“i don’t know, your choice.”

“the same place you bury me.” He chuckles, i know he say that out of spite of knowing what will happen next if he sleeps.

out of anxiety, i kissed his forehead.

“What’s that for?”

“I’ll miss it if i don’t do it now”

“I’m not turning into an ash, you can kiss me while you bathe me naked in the body room.”

“I like warm better than cold.”

He suddenly kiss my cheeks.

“And i like to have my life longer than short.”

he jokes.

I know for too well, he wants more of this life.

The red string is real, it’s everywhere we we kiss each other cheeks. It’s invisible when the heart monitor flatlined. Yet i know, he was just trying to savor the moment where the red string finally connected both of us at the end.

“You look better in a suit diluc..”

my eyes are red.

“Next time, i’ll make your tie every morning.”

“So your co-workers won’t be making fun of you..”

I kissed his cheeks again.

“It seems i still like you cold.” I laughed.

next time, i’ll make sure that you’ll be here in the aisle, Instead of another man.

“you may kiss the bride”

his lip is warm, unlike yours, diluc.

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pochipop · 2 years ago

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＃DILUC RAGNVINDR !! ♡ — DROWN ME IN YOUR FLAMES - PROLOGUE + CHAPTER I: PHOENIX, RISING.

#. synopsis! — in an attempt to hide his ailing health, your father breaks a cardinal rule known to all but every citizen across teyvat: do not trust any member of the fatui unless you’re looking for trouble. left to shoulder the weight of his mistakes, you find yourself reunited with a once-beloved childhood friend who’s changed quite drastically since you last stumbled along the edge of wolvendom together. now, as you suffocate in the dripping maw of teyvat’s twisted underworld, clinging to diluc arouses one too many feelings than you know what to do with, many of them just as ill-timed as your reunion. down here, few rules are abided by and bitter truths lie just beneath the surface. mora spills like blood from wealthy, tainted palms; —and one thing remains far too clear for comfort: people like you do not belong here .

#. characters! — diluc .

#. warnings! — violence, generally dark content, graphic depictions of fights/injuries .

#. word count! — 1.1k (prologue) + 4.8k (chapter 1) .

#. alt accounts! — @ddollipop (nsfw) @yyolkchi (reblog/spam) .

#. others! — navigation & masterlist .

#. to be added to my taglist for this series! — this fic is an ongoing, multi-chapter work inspired by stories like levius and kengan ashura! because it will span several posts, if you'd like to be added to a taglist in order to be notified of updates, please feel free to let me know in either of the following ways: sending me a private message on tumblr or commenting under this post .

How? How could your father have done something so completely, utterly, all-encompassingly foolish? It was bad enough that he’d been colluding with agents of the Fatui, —but to also be hiding his poor health atop it all? The news of it came like a raging typhoon, snuffing out so much in a single instance. You had so many questions, so many things to say, but you sat in utter silence, unsure of how to unravel the harrowing mess of tangled threads festering in your mind. In the end, you stood from your place on the living room sofa, the one your father used to carry you from late at night when you’d doze off and he was keen on tucking you into bed.

The door clinked shut behind you, and with a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, you set off. If word of this were to spread, your family’s long-beloved bakery would undoubtedly fail. Even the loyalest of customers wouldn’t be caught dead spending their Mora at an establishment working with the Fatui. They’ve done nothing but create unrest amongst the citizens of Mondstadt for far too long, —lingering about the public with their mask-adorned faces and threatening the blissful lives of city-goers with their underhanded deals.

Working with them was like working for the devil, and even those who’ve long chosen to forgo the will of the Archons wouldn’t dare test their luck in such a manner.

You’re angry, but even more than that, you’re hurt. It’s painful to know that even your own father didn’t see you as being worthy of his honesty. If he’d just been truthful when his health began to decline, so much of this would be different. Sure, maybe Mora would have been tight during the course of his treatment, but struggling for a while or picking up some odd jobs here and there would have been miles better than this. He was playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes.

Atop it all, so much more had been put at risk than would have been necessary under normal circumstances.

And. . . He was sick. Your loving, doting father was ill, and there was nothing you could do about it at present. His health was failing, and you were powerless to stop the flow of nature in that direction. None of this was fair. A part of you even held onto lingering hopes that this was just a dream —a nightmare— that you’d be able to wake up from.

But you had to plan for the worst in spite of that. So you swallowed your pride and slipped a poorly-scrawled note into the hand of a dispatched agent in passing, afraid that having even a quick conversation in public would raise far too many red flags amongst your fellow Mondstadters. You felt like a lowly criminal in the time that followed, sitting beneath a wide tree just past the edge of Wolvendom. When you were younger, you often came here. Back then, it was an innocent gesture of youth, —playful giggles spilling from open-mouthed smiles as you dashed and jumped about with your friends.

It dawns on you then, albeit rather inopportunely, that you haven’t spoken to most of them in quite a while. Not even Diluc, who you’d have ventured to call your best friend at one point in time. As you let your mind wander a bit, you wonder how he’s doing now. . . How all of your past friends have gotten about since you last saw them and were privy to the ins and outs of their lives.

“You,” a gruff, agitated voice calls out to you, shattering the peaceful silence, “—what’s this about?”

The note you’d slipped into his hand dangles from his pinched fingertips, a wiry scowl etched into his lips. It’s the only feature of his face you’re able to catch sight of, the rest hidden behind his Fatui mask. You pull yourself to your feet upon his arrival.

He seems like a generally unpleasant fellow, —the kind of guy most would assume to be working for such a twisted organization. You’d picked him out of the crowd because he had a slighter frame than the others you’d passed, and mistakenly assumed because he seemed less physically formidable that perhaps he wouldn’t be quite as difficult to deal with as the rest.

You were pretty off base, in all actuality.

“Tell me how to pay off a debt to your group,” you request, though it sounds more like a demand.

It can’t really be helped when you’re aggravated to this degree, but a part of you cringes at the bossy tone you’ve taken. It’s unlike you.

“A debt?” He sneers, and you can just imagine the way his judgemental eyes have slit themselves into mocking lines behind the mask he dons. “What kind?”

“I don’t know,” you snap, “—the kind you trick desperate people into taking on, I guess.”

“If you were stupid enough to take it on, I don’t see how it’s any of my concern as to whether you pay it off or not,” he shrugs. “Go find the one you made the deal with in the first place. It’s got nothing to do with me.”

“I wasn’t stupid enough to do anything,” you retort.

“Then stop playing hero for whoever you care about that was,” he answers bluntly. “They’ll either figure it out themselves, —or they won’t. We’re both just bystanders in this one, so my suggestion is that you sit back and watch. You might even have some fun.”

“Maybe you get off on watching innocent people suffer, but that’s really not my cup of tea,” you reply.

“What, so we’re the evil creatures lurking in the shadows and everyone who chooses to work with us of their own free will is just a hapless little rabbit getting pounced on by some big, bad wolves?” He challenges. “Get real for a second. It takes two to tango, and your friend, family member, —whoever it is, they did this to themself. I think it’s high time you stop meddling in other people’s affairs.”

It annoys you that he’s being so sanctimonious about this, —but it’s worse that he’s right. Your father, as much as you love and care about him, is far from innocent in this matter. In fact, he may just be the one holding the most blame for it all, even above the Fatui themselves.

“Whatever,” you try to brush him off, though his words sting in spite of your attempt at indifference. “Just tell me how to fix this.”

“Sorry,” he answers, —and you know he isn’t in the slightest because of the way he snickers right after.

“Haven't got a clue.”

With that, he turns away, likely to return to his place in Mondstadt City. Your hands clench into fists at your sides, squeezing so tightly that your nails dig into the flesh of your palms.

“Even if I did though,” he calls out, never looking back your way, “it’s not like I’d tell you.”

“Thank you!” Amber says happily, taking a fresh loaf of bread from your hands with a grateful smile.

“Of course,” you answer, “it was nice seeing you!”

She’s always a treat to have around, so unabashedly kind and considerate. Despite her busy job as Mondstadt’s highly renowned Outrider, she often makes time to support the local businesses around the city, and your family’s bakery is no exception.

“You too, y/n! Let’s find some time to catch up sometime soon!”

You nod your head in confirmation, offering her the best smile you can muster up in your tired state. The sun is quickly setting behind the rolling hills of Teyvat, and you’re readying yourself to close the shop up for the night. With your father laid up in bed for the time being and your mother taking time away from the bakery to care for him, you’ve been left to handle things here alone.

It’s not a particularly difficult job, really. You’re used to the motions of it by now, having grown up around it and all, —but the responsibility weighs heavy on your shoulders since finding out about your father’s more illicit affairs. Your mother doesn’t know the extent of it, and in spite of your better judgment, you promised your father you wouldn’t be the one to tell her of the situation. He swore he’d do it when the right time presented itself, but if that doesn’t come to pass soon, you’re prepared to drop the bomb yourself; even if it means betraying his trust.

For now though, you wipe the counter down with a wet cloth, collecting crumbs and flour typical of a day’s work.

Just when it sparked your mind to flip the sign outside the door to closed, it swings open, and with it comes a familiar face. Long, fiery red hair tied back behind his head, gloves fitted over his hands, Diluc meets your gaze and strides toward you in long, deliberate steps. It’s been a while since you last saw him, —even longer since you last had any kind of meaningful conversation. Though you’d been quite close to him in your youth, the test of time had not been kind to your friendship, and after his father’s passing, he stopped coming around to the bakery altogether. It was rare to see him out and about, and you eventually stopped going to the Angel’s Share, if only out of fear you might cross his path and be left with nothing to say.

You can’t help the way you gawk a bit, taking him in. . . He doesn't look too dissimilar to the boy he once was, —just taller, more muscular, and sharper all around. Still, there’s an air about him that feels much more intimidating, and the blank expression he wears is much the opposite of the happy child you knew him to be when he was younger.

“Diluc,” you utter for the first time in Celestia knows how long.

Even his name feels foreign on your tongue.

“I haven’t seen you in a while.”

He hums in acknowledgement.

“It has been quite some time since we last spoke, hasn’t it?”

You nod, noting the contrasting feelings bubbling up inside you. On one hand, there’s a sense of comfortable familiarity with him that seeks to quell your nerves, —but on the other, you’re forced to acknowledge that he isn’t the boy you once knew him to be. He’s a man now, and you’re none too acquainted with him as he stands before you.

“What can I get you?” You smile, assuming he’d stopped by for something like old time’s sake, maybe for one of your mother’s famous bread rolls that he used to gobble down in a matter of seconds.

“Actually, I’m not here to purchase anything,” he notes, dismissing your pleasantries. “I’m here to speak with you about your father’s affiliation with the Fatui.”

Your eyes widen as your blood runs cold. Even if you were to lie, your reaction gave you away completely.

“I’m. . . Not sure I have any idea what you’re talking about,” you reply after taking a few seconds to collect yourself.

He notes the way you fail to meet his eyes when you speak now, as if you’re ashamed on your father’s behalf. Diluc doesn’t seem angry or disappointed, but you know the baggage such an accusation comes with, and you’re certain that if he really does happen to know the truth that it’s greatly impacted his opinion of you. If the roles were reversed, you can’t say you wouldn’t feel similarly.

“You don’t have to lie,” he tells you. “I’ve known for quite some time. . . About his illness, the expense of the treatment, and his collusion with the Fatui as a result of it.”

“You. . . You knew?” The question spills from your lips laced with venom, —because if he’d known all along, why hadn’t you?

It wasn’t as if your father had anything to do with Diluc as far as you were aware. Moreover, he’d been so far removed from your family for so long now that it came as a slap in the face for him to have been so informed and yet you, the child of the man at the center, had been left completely out of the loop as if your feelings and right to know were just playthings to disregard at will.

“You knew for so long and yet you never came to me?”

Diluc purses his lips for a moment, thinking before he speaks. He understands why you’re angry, understands that you’re scared, worried, and stressed beyond belief. And that’s why he’s here now, even if it’s a little late.

“I didn’t think it was my place,” he answers. “The last thing I wanted to do was cause more damage where it wouldn’t be necessary.”

“Why is it suddenly your place now then?” You question. “What changed?”

“I know that you’ve personally been in contact with a dispatched agent here in Mondstadt.”

The way your face drops is subtler now, something you could likely play off if you put on a convincing enough performance going forward. This really isn’t the way you expected this reunion with Diluc to play out, full of twisted secrets and deceit, —but in this moment, he is not your friend. He’s a complete and utter stranger, and you’ve no obligations to him above that of your own family (no matter how stupid their decisions may be.)

“You can’t prove that,” you say with a shrug, hoping you sound more nonchalant than you feel. (You don’t.)

“I can’t,” he agrees, digging one of his gloved hands into his pocket.

From it he pulls a familiar slip of parchment. You don’t need to see the writing on it to know it was the same one you’d stuffed into the hands of a Fatui agent just a week prior.

“But I think we’d both agree I have enough evidence to make a reasonable assumption about it.”

As if to emphasize his point, he places the note on the counter before you. If it had eyes, you just know it would be staring up at you mockingly right about now.

“How did you get that?” You inquire, taking it into your hands in order to tear it in two.

Diluc doesn’t even flinch when you do so.

“Does it matter?” He answers your question with one of his own.

“It does,” you nod. “Because at this point, I think you really owe me some answers. Otherwise, this conversation is over.”

He isn’t fond of your hostility, but isn’t naive enough to question why you aren’t choosing to be trusting of him right off the bat. Knowing what he does, Diluc thinks it’s only natural for you to be reacting this way, —unable to take him at his word, and beyond that, unable to see him as an ally given the circumstances.

Nodding, his voice lowers to a cautious tone, as if he’s scared someone is lingering outside the door.

“Get rid of that,” he points to the fist where the torn note resides, “and meet me at the manor for Dawn Winery. We’ll talk there.”

You stare for a bit, as if searching his face for any signs of nefarious intent.

“. . . Fine,” you agree, albeit begrudgingly so. “But you’d better not be wasting my time with this, Diluc.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

You took your anger out on that note before trudging your way to Dawn Winery. It was left in small, crumpled pieces, the message to meet you at the edge of Wolvendom unrecognizable by the time you were done with it. Once it was disposed of, you did a lot of thinking on the walk over. It wasn’t necessarily Diluc you were mad at. . . Maybe it was just the world at that point, every little thing striking all the wrong chords inside you. He was right, you suppose, that none of it was really any of his concern; at least not enough to have approached you about it before then.

It’s not like the two of you were best buddies. You couldn’t even recall the last time you’d spoken to him. But really, that only proved to make you feel worse. He’d known so much while you’d known so little, —absolutely nothing at all, in fact. Your father had chosen to leave you in the dark, and for someone like Diluc to have been sat in the light, no matter how he came to be there. . . It just wasn’t right.

Upon your arrival, you were greeted warmly by the Dawn Winery staff. You guessed Diluc must have informed them in advance that you’d be showing up, as a sweet, bubbly maid quickly showed you to a room upstairs where Diluc and a man you’d never seen before sat and stood respectively around a round wooden table. A duo of teacups was placed on either side, and Diluc’s eyes seemed to follow you across the room as the young maid quickly shut the door behind you with a soft click.

“Have a seat,” he gestured. “The tea is freshly brewed, if you’re interested.”

You had no reason to deny it, so you took the warm cup into your hands and gingerly took a small drink of the fragrant liquid. It was quite flavorful, —if a little bitter in the aftertaste.

“Thanks,” you say, “but I’m not exactly here to sip tea with you.”

“I’m aware of that,” he replies, offering you the ghost of a smile.

It’s likely not the right time to be noticing such things, but he’s quite. . . Handsome. You’ve always known him to be cute, but there’s something endearing about the air of mystery that lingers over him now, though it’s just as equally annoying for the time being.

“I’ll start by introducing you to someone,” Diluc begins, glancing up at the man standing just beside the table.

He’d been so still and silent that you’d almost forgotten he was even there in the first place.

“This is Henley. He’s one of many individuals employed by myself working undercover with low-ranking Fatui agents across Teyvat.”

You let your gaze travel to his face. His features are sharp and he seems like a dignified young man, just a bit older than Diluc from the looks of it. Mousy hair falls in loose waves, barely touching the edge of his jaw on either side. Now that you’ve gotten a better look at him, he seems. . . Familiar. Your eyes squint up, and he lets out a soft tuft of breath, a smile finally cracking across his face.

“I take it you’ve noticed?” He asks.

Though his voice is much less growly than before, you’d recognize it anywhere. It’s been playing in your mind for days, spinning the same cycle out of control.

He’s the Fatui agent you spoke with not long ago, —the one who snapped at you and told you to sit back and watch your father be swallowed up by his debts.

You offer a sarcastic laugh, setting your stare on Diluc once more.

“That’s how you got the note?”

“Precisely,” he answers. “Henley’s also the reason I came to know about your father, —his illness, the deal he made with members of the Fatui, and now, the debt he’s drowning in.”

“Then maybe he can also give me some answers that my father wouldn’t,” you quip, looking up at Henley again. “How much debt has he racked up?”

When he came clean, your father sought to avoid specifics even then. In many ways, his honesty left you with more questions than answers, —which is why you solicited a Fatui agent to begin with, thinking one of them could give you the information you craved.

“I couldn’t say for certain,” Henley replies. “It wasn’t my deal, and even when agents brag, they keep the specifics to themselves.”

“Give me your best guess, then,” you request, fiddling with the handle of your teacup.

The man pauses before giving you a response.

“At present, probably a couple hundred thousand Mora,” he estimates. “But the Fatui don’t take kindly to those who borrow Mora they can’t pay back, so it could be more depending on how generous they’ve decided to be with him.”

A shaky breath passes your lips.

“I. . . I can’t afford that,” you say softly. “Even with all of my family’s savings put together, I don’t even think I’d be able to make a dent.”

Your stomach twists with anxiety. If you couldn’t manage to pay it back, there’s no telling what would happen. The family bakery would be long-gone, all the hard work leading up to such a dismal end. Worst of all, your father’s illness would be left untreated, and he’d be stuck withering away until there's nothing left.

“Lend me your ear for a bit,” Diluc chimes back in.

“What I’m about to tell you has to stay between us. If word gets out, there’s no telling what all could go wrong. Do you understand?”

Though you’re not sure you can really handle any more large-scale secrets right now, you give him an affirmative nod nonetheless. It can’t hurt to listen when you’ve already come this far.

“I understand.”

“Good,” he notes, not missing a beat. “I’ll be summing months of investigative work up as best I can, but if you have any questions, feel free to interrupt. And besides that, —the point I’m making is that working with me for a bit might just be a saving grace for you and your family.”

He’s got your full, undivided attention now, and you’re just praying he won’t misuse it.

“Henley, the map, please,” Diluc requests, holding a single gloved hand open.

The other man moves like some sort of machinery, pulling a rolled piece of paper from the inside of his coat. You catch a glimpse of the Fatui attire he wore not long ago just underneath the dark fabric. With refined precision, Diluc unravels the paper, revealing a map of Mondstadt. It’s a typical map of the nation, —nothing much out of the ordinary at first glance. But upon closer inspection, there’s a series of markings on the surface that don’t seem to pinpoint any important locations that you’re personally aware of. Now, you’re no scholar of Mondstadt’s geography, and you’re certainly no cartographer, but as many times as you’ve seen a map of your home nation over your lifetime, you’re sure you would have noticed at least one of those before.

With the map in hand, Diluc rises from his seat, tea untouched. It’s only then that you take notice of the empty board just to your left as he makes haste of pinning the parchment down to it. You follow in his footsteps without being prompted, your own cup of tea long forgotten.

“What do you see?” He asks.

“These marked points,” you mutter, reaching out to ghost the tip of your index finger over the one stationed just past the fringe of Wolvendom, “—what are they?”

“Wonderful question,” he praises. “With no added information, this map is basically useless. It pinpoints locations that, if you go to them on any regular day, hold nothing more than what you’d expect from the nature that surrounds them.”

He places the flat of his palm against the map now, gaze catching yours and holding it hostage as he continues.

“But these locations are far more than what meets the eye. They’re utilized by the Fatui at random, —likely to cut down on suspicion, and the more remote nature of these points lowers the likelihood of being spotted considerably. If not for my network of agents, I’m not sure I would have ever caught on what with how sneaky they tend to be.”

“Okay, I get why they’d choose places like that, but what exactly are they doing there?” You question.

“That’s where things get a little. . . Outlandish,” Diluc prefaces.

“These more secluded, often open areas are replicated in little pockets of a slower moving reality. They call these mimicked spaces abyssal zones, and inside, there’s an underworld of sorts where they throw Mora around like candy for some pretty. . . Barbaric entertainment.”

Your brows furrow in confusion, attempting to wrap your mind around it all. It’s a lot to take in at once, that’s for sure.

“How does that even work?” You question finally. “They just slice open reality and stuff themselves inside?”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” Diluc notes. “The exact details are still pretty fuzzy as far as I’m aware, but the harnessing of abyssal energy from the Void Realm allows for the creation of these temporary abyssal zones that look just like the area they’re formed in. After it’s been created, it can just as easily be hidden away, —like closing some kind of illusionary curtain over the entrance.”

“The flow of time inside an abyssal zone is completely different to the flow of time in Teyvat,” Henley pipes up. “I’ve only been inside one a single time, but I stayed for over a day. When I returned, it was like nothing had changed at all. Like Teyvat had frozen itself over.”

“By my calculations from the information my informants have provided me with, a full day in an abyssal zone is roughly equivalent to the passing of one hour in Teyvat,” Diluc adds.

“Okay, well that definitely sounds trippy and all, —but what happens inside the zones or whatever? And how does this connect to my father’s situation?” You inquire.

“I was just getting there,” Diluc pulls his palm away now, pointing to the unfamiliar markings on the map again.

“From what I know, there’s a common thread of using abyssal zones to hide a vast amount of criminal activity. Because they’re forged in collaboration with members of the Fatui, that should hardly come as a shock within itself, —but the real flesh of the issue comes down to the fights that take place there.”

“Fights? Like, physical ones?” You question for clarity’s sake.

“Yes,” Henley confirms, “but they’re likely a lot worse than what you’re imagining. I’m not sensitive to violence after being undercover with Fatui agents for so long, —but what I saw there really struck a nerve. It gets unbelievably gruesome at times.”

“There’s a system in place for it all,” Diluc adds. “Lots of wealthy individuals around Teyvat gather in these zones to place bets on fighters, and some even enter competitors of their own. The catch is that each fighter has to be backed and represented by a business or a company, —some kind of corporation that verifiably has enough Mora to pay up if their fighter loses a match.”

“There has to be an entire business involved to even enter a competitor?” You gape. “Just how much Mora are they betting on these fights?”

“I’ve heard that some have tipped over the million mark for a single match,” Diluc replies.

Your eyes flicker between him, Henley, and the map.

“Well. . . All of that is definitely really intense and all, —but I’m not seeing what it has to do with me or my father’s debt.”

Moreover, you weren’t sure why Diluc was choosing to share any of it with you of all people. It’s not as if he had enough of a grasp on your current character to really know that you’d stay silent about it all, even if you did assure him that you would prior. You’re sure someone out there would be itching for information like this, and it could likely be sold for a hard price if you played your cards right. . .

“If we enter these matches and create a winning streak, the hype around it all will rake in plenty of Mora, —probably more than either of us will even know what to do with. Beyond that, doing so will help steer the funds in a more positive direction, allowing us to take a vast source of income away from the Fatui and redirect it to people in need. People like your father who’ve found themselves in over their heads.”

That idea is good in theory, but in practice? You’re not sold under any stretch of the imagination. In fact, a part of you feels like it’s way outside the scope of your capabilities to even stomach an environment like that in the first place, nonetheless get deep enough in it to rake in large sums of currency.

“Diluc, have you even thought this through?” You ask. “I’m sure that kind of organized violence is illegal in one way or another no matter what nation you’re in, —but besides that, I’m not exactly in any position to be fighting anyone.”

“And I wouldn’t ask that of you,” he assures quickly. “When it comes to competing, I mentioned that every fighter is required to have a backing organization to support them financially. However, a competitor can’t even set foot in the abyssal zones to fight without an ‘executive director,’ —a formal representative of the company who can call for the end of any match at any point in time if they fear for the safety of their fighter or have another reason for withdrawing.”

Diluc continues: “Executive directors are also in charge of placing bids on fighters, even those who don’t represent them or their organization. They receive all the monetary benefits of competing and placing bets, and they choose how they allocate those funds.”

“But don’t they also have to have enough Mora to sponsor their own fighter with their backing corporation in the first place?” You question. “My family’s bakery doesn’t bring in anywhere enough to manage that.”

“I wouldn’t ask that of you either,” he replies. “Putting your family’s business on the line like that, especially with your father’s situation as it is, isn’t something I’d even dream of pushing you to agree to. Instead, I’m asking that you become the executive director and official representative for Dawn Winery.”

You stare at him for a moment, blinking slowly in surprise.

“Sir,” Henley interjects, “—I don’t mean to overstep here, but are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Diluc’s expression drops into a scowl for a moment, but the answer he gives is nothing harsher than before.

“We won’t know for certain unless we try,” he concedes.

Henley’s expression seems to imply that he wants to say more, but he resigns himself to silence in the wake of Diluc’s curt response.

“I admit, there’s a lot that I don’t know, and there’s likely even more that could go wrong. I don’t have all the details about any of this, and for most of it, we’ll just have to play it by ear. I shared all of this information with you because. . . I thought you’d understand where I was coming from, I guess. But if you don’t, or if you do and still want nothing to do with any of it, —I get it, and I won’t try to convince you of anything that you’re not already sold on.”

You’re not sold. Not in the slightest. Still though. . . Perhaps the more naive side of you that grew up around Diluc and remembers all the times he’d go along with your games as children, even when they weren’t perfectly planned nor executed, feels that it’s your time to repay the favor. It’s a poor comparison, certainly, but something about him is comfortable in spite of how different he is to the young boy he used to be.

Now’s definitely not the time to be agreeing to things based on nostalgia, —but when he looks at you like that, you’re not sure how to say no.

“Hypothetically,” you begin, “say I agree to all of this and I represent Dawn Winery as an executive director. How can I do all of that and still manage to care for my family’s shop? My father is laid up in bed, and my mother is stuck taking care of him as best she can because the treatment he needs is so far out of our price range that it’ll take us weeks of business to save up enough for a single dose of proper medicine. Working at the bakery is the only sure-fire source of income we have right now, and I can’t forgo that for a little flicker of hope that I might score big with what’s basically just glorified gambling with some live action combat to go along with it.”

“Remember, time flows much faster in abyssal zones,” Diluc reminds you. “As far as I know, these events don’t begin until after sundown on specific dates. Most of the attendees are also running their own businesses: things like shops, guilds, service providers, and even those in positions of power. That gives you days’ worth of time to spare, —and I can make arrangements for you to have extra staff with no cost to you or your family.”

“And what about the time that I actually spend in the abyssal zones? A place that reveres violence to such an extent doesn’t seem like the kind of environment that would do its best to temper it out. Isn’t it dangerous just to go there in the first place?” You inquire.

“Typically not for the attendees,” Henley answers. “The fighters are definitely another story altogether, —but violence amongst members of the audience is strictly forbidden, and though I’m sure it still happens, I doubt most of them would even risk it. Violence between competitors outside matches is also prohibited, but again, I’m sure not everyone abides by that rule either.”

Honestly, you’re just surprised a scene like that would have actual rules for anything. It sounded more like a free-for-all of blood and knuckles than anything else.

“I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you,” Diluc chimes in. “As your representative fighter, I’ll be with you at all times unless I’m actively in combat, and I—”

“Wait, wait,” you interrupt, “you? You’re going to be the representative fighter?”

Somehow, you’d been expecting him to shove another operative off on you, or maybe to pull some insanely talented warrior from out of nowhere. You’re sure Diluc isn’t completely incompetent in that sense, but. . .

“Yeah,” he nods, “is there something wrong with that?”

“No, I mean, not really, I just. . . I don’t exactly wanna stand around and see you get hurt is all. . .”

Diluc looks at you like he’s shocked you even care, and you briefly wonder just how crass you’d been with him before for that to come as a surprise. You’re not the biggest fan of senseless violence one way or the other, but when your childhood friend is involved, no matter how long it’s been since you were close to him, it automatically feels a bit more personal. A lot more personal, actually.

Eventually, his look of brief bewilderment turns into a soft smile. It’s the kindest expression you’ve seen from him all evening.

“I can take care of myself,” he says, hoping it will reassure you. “Everything will be fine, and I’ll leave it in your hands to call the shots. If you ever think it’s too much and you want to call the match off on my behalf, I’ll leave that decision completely up to you.”

Ah. . . That’s a lot of responsibility that you never planned on signing up for. But Diluc locks your eyes in an ardent stare, —the kind that it’s impossible to pull away from, even when your mind itches for you to let your gaze flitter about.

“What do you say, y/n?” He presses softly. “Are you in?”

You really should turn him away. This plan is nothing short of inconceivable, and it’s dangerous for the both of you (albeit one much more so than the other.) Plus, there’s no guarantee that saying yes will even go the way you’re both desperately hoping it will from the bottom of your hearts.

Above the nagging voice in the back of your mind that tells you to just say no and walk away from this, you let out a soft sigh.

“Yeah,” you nod finally, “—I’m in.”

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shunachii · 5 months ago

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#ragbros #not ship. familial only #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya alberich #genshin fanart #genshin impact #原神 #genshin angst #ragbros angst #i love vanishing for months and randomly returning. i will see you all next month #shunachii art

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crowcalico · 5 months ago

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‘May these thousand winters swiftly pass, I pray.

I love you, I miss you, all these miles away.’

Some ragbros angst for the soul. I am a firm believer that Kaeya would have kept Diluc’s vision close, making sure it doesn’t fade, the years he was gone.

#kaeya alberich #genshin impact #crowcalico #genshin kaeya #kaeya angst #procreate #artists on tumblr #ragbros #genshin fanart #ragnvindr brothers #diluc ragnvindr #angst #headcanon #that kaeya watched dilucs vision while he was gone

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milkbobatyun · 3 months ago

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wake up, please

pairing: diluc x fem!reader

genre: angstober, events

summary: an argument causes you to leave the safety of the ragnvindr manor at night, would diluc ever get to hear your voice, ever see you open your eyes again?

word count: 883

a/n: idk, i thought this would fit diluc kinda well, sorry for re-traumatising this already traumatised boi (◞‸◟；)

the thick silence crackled with anger, your fists clenched, heart pounding in your chest. the tranquility of the winery had been shattered by your arguing with diluc. you wouldn’t call yourself a jealous woman, but seeing another woman drape herself over diluc had you seething. his lack of protest and unwillingness to push her away was enough to make your blood boil.

with a frustrated sigh, you threw open the study door, stalking down the hallway and slamming the front door as you left. the resounding echo was loud enough to make diluc wince from the study, guilt settling deep in his chest.

perhaps you were being foolish, going out into the night with only a thin layer of clothing and only a small dagger tucked at your side. but your rationality was clouded with frustration, danger the last thing on your mind. the weak moonlight barely illuminated the path before you, but you didn’t care, you needed space, to breathe.

but as that principle goes, you attract what you fear.

hilichurls. their grunts echoing in the quiet night as they had you surrounded, their bats dancing with flames and swinging as they ran towards you. you summoned your dagger, dodging the first attack and swining with a desperate arc, the heat of the wave dancing across your skin, teasing you with dancer.

you were outnumbered and unprepared, but you fought, adrenaline driving you forwards. they were weaker than they looked, but your body had taken a toll. with your clothing ripped and torn in some places, you stumbled home, a deep cut on your forehead the main source of pain, though the pain in your head was a dull roar compared to the turmoil in your heart.

the foyer was illuminated brightly with candlelights, though it remained quiet. with a clatter, you discarded your shoes at the door, head pounding with every step and fatigue seeping into your bones. the familiar scent of old wood and wine filled your senses as you staggered into the nearest armchair, its softness cradling your aching body as you collapsed into the cushions.

with a sigh, you succumbed to the darkness crawling at the edge of your vision.

diluc sat at his study table, trying to complete the paperwork that had been piling on top. his eyes scanned across the same line time and time again. his thoughts, wouldn’t allow him to concentrate, worrying about your safety. in the vast mansion, every creak of the floorboards, every step of the servants amplified the tension in his chest, his ears straining to hear something.

when he heard the muffled thud of shoes against the hardwood floor, he sprung up from his chair, his papers forgotten. diluc threw open his study door, racing down the hallway. his sharp eyes caught sight of the droplets of blood on the floor, his stomach dropping, icy dread chilling his veins as he ran towards you.

your slumped figure lay in the armchair, the shallow rise and fall of your chest a sign of life. the blood oozed from your forehead, dripping down in streams. diluc’s hands trembled as he reached towards you, ripping a strip of his shirt to press against your wound.

“adele!” diluc’s voice yelled out, raw with fear and desperation. “adele, go fetch a doctor! now!”

the blood soaked through the snow white strip immediately, the warmth coating his hands. his heart pounded in his chest as he applied more pressure on your wound, willing the bleeding to stop.

the medic arrived, treating your wounds with practiced hands, his face grim. diluc’s hawk eyes watched every movement, worry worming away in his stomach.

“young master,” the doctor began tentatively, eyes glued to the floor. “the lady may be asleep for a few days, no need to worry of course, but i am just informing you that she most likely won’t wake up today.”

“for her comfort, i suggest moving her to her bed.” the doctor continued, giving his instructions while he cleaned and packed away the bloody medical instruments.

diluc’s breath caught, swallowing thickly. his hands were still sticky from your blood, the heavy silence weighing down on his chest.

“thank you,” diluc whispered, his voice hoarse. the doctor’s words echoed in his mind. with gentle hands, diluc cradled your sleeping form in his arms, pace steady as he walked towards your room.

adele scurried ahead, laying out a change of clothes and preparing the bed. diluc softly set you down, placing your head on the pillow, leaving the room to wash his hands and allow adele to change your clothes with privacy, red hot embarrassment dusting his ears.

quietly, diluc brought over a chair, sitting down next to your bed, hand hesitantly hovering above yours, before finally settling it on your cold skin. the sight of your head, swathed in the white bandages, tugged at his heartstrings. it was his actions, his words that had caused this. the burden of guilt settled on his shoulders.

“im sorry,” his whisper of apology fell from his lips as he sat next to you, the moonlight filtering through the gap of the closed curtains. underneath the milky light of the moon, diluc sat, a quiet vigil of guilt, praying for your forgiveness when you wake.

if you would ever wake.

taglist (open): @yeonjunsfox

∧,,,∧ ( ̳• · • ̳) © curated with love by milkbobayun 2024 / づ ♡

#genshin impact angst #diluc angst #genshin angst #genshin impact x reader #diluc x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin fanfic #genshin impact #genshin #diluc ragnvindr #genshin diluc #angstober #angst oneshot #angst

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puffcap-factory · 6 months ago

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As night will find its day (Diluc x Reader)

Diluc x fem!reader; angst, established relationship, reader lost her memory ohno!, a little bit of comfort at the end but mostly angst (esp. on Diluc’s end) What if after an argument with Diluc, you fell into the abyss during your expedition not long after, and you went back to the surface after 6 months, but without your memory of him.

This story is based on the drabble I made (here). I used it as an introduction for this story as I prefer to post a completed version in one post, so some of you who had read the previous post can skip the first part if you like!

Words: 4.2k

Notes: Okay I clearly went overboard, I never thought I would write this long but I got carried away. At one point I really felt bad for Diluc and I even asked myself why. I've also set the reader into female because I felt like it somewhat refers a bit (if you squint hard enought tho... ) to the other Diluc fic I made. But of course, each story is separate and you can always enjoy each one separately.

So, is it really connected? is it not? who knows! haHaHA

As always, please enjoy the angst!

•~•~•~•

Where is this place…?

Your steps were heavy, each step sinking into the ground as you trudged along the ground. The rustling grass and the rich scent of soil tugged at something familiar inside you, whispering of a place you once knew. Perhaps, you had found your way back to your own world, after all?

With each step, you moved forward little by little, limping slightly, as you took your time to absorb the surroundings after being thrown out of a rift near the shores of Liyue. Your clothes were ragged after what had seemed like endless battles you had fought to survive in the abyss, and your body felt numb with exhaustion. Yet, in this moment of weariness, there was a bittersweet comfort in the familiar earth beneath your feet.

“I’m back…”

You mumbled, your voice barely audible. Your mind was like a blank canvas as your feet carried you aimlessly, trying to dig deep into the recesses of your memory. But, everything before the darkness in the abyss remained elusive. Everything was hazy, as if someone had locked your memory before your fall into the abyss in a box, with its key just out of reach.

Hours slipped by as you wandered, until you finally found yourself at the foot of a small hill. The wind brought a gentle breeze, tousling your hair, and you reached up to brush it from your face. Before you lay a field of grapevines, their leaves rustling softly in the wind. At the top of the hill, nestled among the vineyards, stood a mansion, and you were strangely pulled towards into it.

You slowly stepped forward onto the pathway leading to the mansion, when a man suddenly appeared in front of you, his face etched with shock as if he had just seen a ghost. His mouth fell open, and his arms hung limply at his sides as he tried to process the sight before him. There was a pause before he decided to speak.

“…y/n...?”

You looked up into his face, noticing his red hair pulled back into a ponytail. What a pretty sight, you thought, before realizing that he had called your name.

Y/n… Right, that’s my name. At least I remember that.

The man rushed to you, pulling you into a gentle hug, supporting you as you struggled to stand. You could feel his uneven breaths, hear the panic in his attempts to calm himself. His hand trembled against your back, offering support as he whispered fragmented apologies into your ear. Despite your confusion, there was a strange comfort in his embrace, a feeling of safety that allowed the fatigue to finally seize you.

He then pulled back slightly, his brows furrowed with worry as he noticed your dazed state. Despite the profound care you felt from his gaze, his face was a void in your memory. You tried to rake through your mind, but strangely found nothing. He lifted a trembling hand to your face, gently caressing your cheek, wishing at least you would somehow respond to his silent wail – call his name, anything.

You opened your mouth, and with the last of your strength, you finally asked.

“Who are you…?”

•~•~•~•

It had been almost half a year since you disappeared. Diluc had been restless, pacing back and forth at the guild, exhausting every resource and contact in his search for you. He had poured all his energy into finding you, but every lead ended in nothing.

Then, on that day you finally reappeared, relief washed over him at seeing you alive, but the first words you said to him had shattered him.

You had not recognized him, nor the place you should be familiar with.

How? Why? How could this happen? Is this even possible? Where does your memory stretch back to? This should be temporary, right…?

I haven’t lost you… have I?

Thousands of questions rushed through Diluc's mind, each one more painful than the last. He speculated endlessly, his thoughts spinning with countless what-ifs. However, the worst-case scenario, the thought he wouldn’t even dare to admit, scared him to the core. Recalling the moment he had held you in his arms and saw you looking at him as if he were a stranger, his heart sank deeper than it ever had before.

However, Diluc was quick with his action as to gather the servants to explain the situation after you were rested. While he acknowledged the possibility of memory loss, he instructed them to prioritize your care until you healed and not to push you. “Treat her like any guest with respect,” he had said, though uttering the word "guest" pained him deeply.

Diluc entered his bedroom to check on you, as he did every day. He sat next to the bed and gently lifted the cloth from your forehead to change it. His gaze lingered on your face, which seemed to be peacefully sleeping. Everything was still—the evening sun filtered through the window, casting a soft light around you, making you appear almost angelic, in contrast to the fear and anxiety gnawing at Diluc's mind.

He gently caressed your cheek, feeling the warmth of your skin against his, as if trying to salvage any dear moment with you. But then, his mind wandered back to when he had let his anger overtake him, leading to this outcome.

The time, when you two were shouting at each other, and the look on your face, hurt by his words...

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the flashbacks from flooding his mind. A storm of regret built inside him, reminding him of his past actions.

He exhaled deeply and stood up, finding it difficult to tear his gaze from you. As he looked at you one last time, he silently prayed for you to wake up soon, longing for a chance to make things right... if that was even possible in the first place.

•~•~•~•

A few days later, one afternoon, Diluc returned from his own expedition from the guild. As soon as he entered, Adelinde rushed to him.

"Master Diluc, she's awake. She has been since early morning," she said, her voice filled with both relief and worry.

Diluc's heart quickly raced with anticipation hearing what Adelinde had said. But dread crept in when she added, "But… she doesn’t seem to recognize me—or this place."

So, his suspicion was true.

"Where is she now?" he asked.

"At the garden table, in the backyard," Adelinde responded.

Without wasting a moment, he rushed into the backyard. He found you seated at the table, your back facing him as you were seemingly admiring the landscape beyond. Diluc carefully approached you from the side, his footsteps echoing softly on the stone tile. Hearing the sound, you turned your head to see him coming towards you.

"Good afternoon," Diluc greeted, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Oh... good afternoon," you replied as he took a seat opposite you, facing the landscape.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, searching your face for any hint of recognition.

"I’m feeling… pretty well," you said hesitantly, clearly still confused. "The maid told me you rescued me when I fell unconscious. So... thank you."

“Don’t mention it, I did what I have to do,” he answered. You smiled weakly at him in response as he paused, contemplating his words whether to ask you about your past recollections. But you spoke first.

"To be honest, I barely remember anything about where I came from, in case you’re wondering. Everything is foggy… All I remember is a constant struggle for survival in the abyss, before I came to this place, I... I—" You paused, trying to gather your thoughts. "I feel afraid... of all this…uncertainty."

His worst fear was confirmed, and his heart shattered upon hearing what you just said. Seeing the confusion and fear in your eyes, imagining what you must have endured in the abyss, suffocated him. Yet, he tried his best to maintain his calm exterior.

"...But," you continued, momentarily bringing him back from his thoughts.

He looked up, meeting your eyes.

"There is something calming about this place... I feel somewhat... safe."

Upon hearing your words, there was a mixture of relief and sorrow washing over Diluc. One part was relieved that you felt safe, but he couldn’t deny the ache he felt in his heart, reminding him the painful reality that all the memories he once shared with you might now only reside within him. It took every ounce of strength not to crumble in front of you.

Yet, he reached out, his hand gently resting on yours. "You are safe here," he whispered, his voice weighted with thousands of emotions swirling inside him.

You looked at him rather curiously at first, taking in his genuine words, then gave a warm smile. “Thank you, I really do owe you.”

“No, you don’t owe me anything. Don’t worry about it,” he responded, shaking his head. “If you want to know about the city, I’d be glad to show you around. There are lots of good people there.”

Your face began to lit up at his offer, a smile widening across your face. “Really…? That would be great!”

Ah, how he had dearly missed that sight…

•~•~•~•

It had been almost three weeks since you began your stay at the Dawn Winery. Diluc had been treating you very well, helping you adjust to daily life, sometimes accompanying you to Mondstadt whenever he had spare time. Of course, the people who had apparently known you from before, already heard the story, as Diluc had already warned them not to scare you by overwhelming you with questions. You eventually learned that you were someone who had originally come from this very city. The people were warm and welcoming despite your inexistence of your past memories, much to your appreciation.

Today, you found yourself seated in the winery gardens, reading a book that Lisa, the librarian, had lent you. The title read ‘History of Mondstadt’ — Lisa had recommended a lighter book for you to read, but you had insisted on this one, determined to fill in the gaps in your memory. After all, you didn’t want to burden Diluc for too long; he had done more than enough for you, and you planned to live independently as soon as you were ready.

As you flipped through the middle pages, Adelinde called out to you.

“My lady, it’s lunchtime,” she gently called from the main door.

“Ah, coming!” You closed the book and went inside. The manor was quieter than usual, as Diluc had been out for work since the day before, so you found yourself eating alone at the table.

“Please, enjoy, and if you need anything, just call me, alright?” Adelinde said with a slight bow before returning to her duties.

You nodded in thanks, taking a moment to observe your food and your surroundings. There was always a strange tug on your memory about this place that you couldn’t quite explain, but the manor felt serene, as if your body was oddly accustomed to it. After enjoying your meal, you decided to roam around the house, indulging to your curiosities.

As you wandered, you noticed that Diluc’s office door was slightly open. You had never seen what was inside, but you knew you shouldn't pry—you wanted to respect his privacy, especially given how well he had treated you. But the glimpse of the room inside seemed to call to you, and your feet unconsciously brought you closer.

Slowly, you stepped inside, taking your time to observe the room. The room was unlit, but the sunlight casting through the window made it seem almost… ethereal. You saw wooden carved cabinets containing files and books, all sorted neatly, and another cabinet holding some antiques. His desk was not the tidiest, with documents sprawled across the surface. You noticed a paper on the floor near his seat, so you carefully picked it up. As you placed it on the desk, you noticed a slightly open drawer, and one item inside particularly drew your attention. The sunlight reflected on a metallic object, making it hard to miss.

You hesitated, knowing you were already prying more than you should. But your curiosity got the better of you, and you decided to take a peek. You opened the drawer a bit more and saw that the glowing item was a golden pocket watch. Intrigued, you picked it up, examining its intricate carvings closely. Carefully, you opened it, and a bittersweet melody began to play, revealing a tiny music box inside. The melody seemed to stir something deep within you, an emotion you couldn’t quite place, as if you’ve heard it somewhere before… from a place buried deep inside your forgotten memories. Your eyes, however, were drawn to the upper part of the watch, where a small photo was wedged.

The photo was small but clear, showing two people laughing lovingly. One of them was unmistakably Diluc, and the other... you let out a silent gasp. The other person standing next to him looked just like you. Your brows furrowed as you tried to process this revelation. The sight of the familiar face in the photo, sent a rush of conflicting emotions through you.

…Is this really… me? Why do I look so happy and close here? Who was I…?

You took a deep breath to quickly reassess yourself, realizing that up until now, there had been small things you found rather peculiar: the way the maids sometimes stumbled over their words, as if hiding something; the stock of female outfits in the manor that strangely suited your taste; the food, everything seemed to be in place to your liking. You had brushed these off before as mere coincidences, but now, seeing the photo, it all strangely began to make sense.

You stood silent at the room, observing the photo with the melody still playing on your hand. Questions rushed through your mind, and fear—of possibly having forgotten something important—slowly crept in.

To your surprise, the partially open door swung wider, revealing Adelinde’s rather shocked face, which quickly relaxed upon seeing you. You panickedly closed the pocket watch, abruptly cutting the music. “Ah, um—I…” you scrambled to explain, but she slowly approached you, gently taking your hand that held the pocket watch, and placed her other hand reassuringly on top.

“You see, I’ve known Master from his young age. He tends to keep his most cherished belongings hidden,” she smiled gently. “To think that you could find it…”

“I- I’m sorry, I know I’m not supposed to. Please don’t tell him,” you pleaded.

“No, don’t worry about that,” she paused, glancing at the pocket watch. “I’m the one who accidentally left the door open after cleaning the floor. I should be in the wrong.”

You were about to protest, but she continued calmly. “Master Diluc had warned us, the servants, not to tell you about your past status, given your situation, as he did not want to pressure you.”

You went silent, thinking back to how he had always been considerate and careful around you. If you were really someone that important to him—to think of what had been going through his mind all this time… words felt stuck in your throat.

“He isn’t the most expressive person, but he has been prioritizing your well-being above all else. He just wanted you to feel safe,” Adelinde added.

You took your time to process the information. It left you with one burning question. “…Then… who was I to him?”

Adelinde looked into your eyes. Though she kept her warm smile, her eyes masked a depth of emotion. “I believe that is a question Master himself should answer.” She paused before continuing. “I have desserts ready for you. Shall we?”

You nodded, placing the pocket watch back in the drawer, and instinctively followed her to the pantry. But your thoughts were tangled, processing all the information about your possible connection with Diluc. Everything in your mind was jumbled. You couldn’t find any memories to piece it all together, and you had even told him that you considered moving out at one point... but now, you felt like you couldn’t just leave now, not when you felt something tugging at your depths of your heart.

•~•~•~•

Diluc sighed as he headed back from his expedition, walking along the dirt path leading back to the winery. As much as he had wished to spend more time with you, some urgent tasks couldn’t be left unattended.

During the time of his absence, he desperately hoped that you might magically regain your memory, but he had seen the joy you found in the city, the spark of curiosity and happiness that had returned to your eyes. He couldn't bear the thought of selfishly forcing you to stay with him, tethered by a past you couldn’t remember. It felt unfair to you. To you now, he was just someone else—a kind stranger, perhaps.

The painful truth was, as much as he dreaded it, that sooner or later, he would have to part ways with you, letting you live your own free life. Although the thought of losing you all over again tore him deeply, he would always prioritize your well-being. What it matters now is that you are safe and sound, he thought repeatedly, as if to convince himself more than anything.

As he passed the sign for the winery, Diluc spotted you seated under a big tree, reading a book. You were quite far from him, too engrossed in your book to even notice him, but he recognized that the spot you had chosen instantly. It was your favorite place to spend time outside, a place where you had often had picnics with him in the past. A small, wistful smile curved the edge of his lips as he reminisced. Back then, he would simply walk up to you, and you would welcome him with a warm embrace. But now, the fear of facing the painful reality kept him rooted in place, unable bring himself to you. With a heavy heart, he turned towards the manor, leaving you to your peaceful solitude under the tree.

Even though you had lost your memory, Diluc noticed that some things about you hadn't changed. Somehow, without realizing it, you still found yourself to your favorite places and sometimes performed small, mundane actions that felt like déjà vu to him. These familiar gestures gave him a bittersweet sense of comfort, a reassurance that, despite everything, you were still… you.

That night, Diluc found himself seated in his office, the golden pocket watch in his hand as he stared at the picture inside. The gentle melody played, filling the room with its bittersweet tune. He was lost in thought, the memories of better times flooding his mind. The joy in your eyes, the warmth of your embrace—all now felt like distant memories of a past life.

A knock on the door, already slightly open, pulled him back to reality. “Yes?” he called out, hastily composing himself and halting the melody as he closed the watch.

You hesitantly peeked into the room, the soft tune having drawn you in as you passed by. “I’m sorry, I heard the music, and...”

He looked at you, a mix of surprise and apprehension in his eyes. “It’s alright. Please, come in.”

You stepped inside, glancing around the room before your gaze settled on him. “I didn’t mean to intrude. I just... the melody sounded familiar.”

Diluc’s heart tightened at your words. He had hoped for a spark of recognition, a flicker of memory, but he knew better than to expect miracles. “It’s a keepsake,” he explained, his voice soft. “Something very dear to me.”

You nodded, sensing the weight of his words. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” you began, your voice trembling slightly. “There’s so much I don’t remember, and it’s been hard. But... I’ve felt strangely at home here. As if I belong.”

His eyes softened, and he motioned for you to sit. “I’m glad you feel that way,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “This place... it holds many memories.”

You took a seat, your curiosity and confusion evident in your eyes. "Adelinde mentioned that you didn’t want to overwhelm me with my past, and I really appreciate that. But I need to know...," you paused, your knuckles curling on top of your knees. "…Who was I to you?"

The question hung in the air, heavy with emotion. Diluc looked at you, his heart torn between the desire to protect you and the need to share the truth. “You were... you are someone very important to me,” he said finally, his voice thick with emotion as he glanced to the side, trying to maintain his composure.

You fell silent, feeling a tightness in your chest and a lump in your throat. “…I—I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say,” you managed, your voice trembling. You couldn’t place where exactly it came from, but sadness washed over you, as the weight of forgotten memories pressing down on you, giving you the feeling as if you really had lost something very, very dear.

Diluc immediately turned back to you, realizing he had made you feel worse. He cleared his throat and blinked rapidly, feeling his own tears forming in his eyes. “Don’t apologize. It was never your fault to begin with.” He rose, taking a deep breath to steady himself. “Oh, and I’ve talked to a landlord in Mondstadt. He said tomorrow—”

He tried to shift the topic to lighten the mood, but his words faltered as he noticed you still seated, head hung low, with tears silently dripping onto your clenched fists. His heart ached at the sight of you crying, his emotions threatening to spill over as his breathing grew ragged. He slowly went to your side and knelt beside you, his hand gently placed on your shoulder, as his gaze filled with deep concern.

Diluc’s grip on your shoulder tightened slightly as words seemed to fail him, too fragile to contain the depth of his emotions. Instead, he moved closer, enveloping you in a gentle embrace.

You let your emotions spill over, leaning into his arms and crying on his shoulder. The warmth of his embrace was strangely familiar and comforting. Diluc, on the other hand, sensing the futility of words, sought to soothe you as his hand traced slow, calming circles on your back. He looked up, his gaze unfocused and distant, as he felt a single tear stroke down his cheek.

•~•~•~•

The sun streamed through the curtains, filling the living room with a warm, golden light as you descended the stairs. Diluc stood near the main exit door, waiting for you. Today was the day he had arranged for you to meet the landlord in Mondstadt. You had spent the night wide awake, drowning in your thoughts about the previous night.

As you reached the bottom, your eyes met his in a silent exchange. Diluc, composed as ever — befitting the master of the winery, but you noticed a fleeting softness in his gaze. Your steps slowed as you approached him, uncertainty weighing heavily on your heart.

You stopped at the edge of the stairs, gripping the rail and fidgeting with your hands. “Diluc, I…”

He turned his head towards you, his expression gentle. “What is it?” he asked softly, stepping closer, his voice filled with concern.

“…would you… have wished for me to stay rather than moving out?” you asked reluctantly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Diluc’s eyes widened slightly, caught off guard by your question. He took a deep breath, his composure wavering for a moment. “If I were to be honest,” he began, his voice low and earnest, “I would wish for you to stay. But more than anything, I want you to find happiness and a sense of belonging, whether that’s here or in Mondstadt.”

You felt a lump form in your throat, again — as his words stirred a mix of emotions within you. The thought of leaving this place, leaving him, somewhat felt like abandoning a part of yourself, and you couldn't shake the desire to understand your past and your connection to him anymore.

Diluc reached out, gently taking your hands in his. “Your presence here has brought a light to this place, to my life,” he admitted, his eyes searching yours. “But I won't hold you back. The choice is yours, and I will support whatever you decide.”

Tears welled in your eyes, the weight of his words and the depth of his feelings finally enveloping you. For a moment, the world outside seemed distant, as if the only thing that mattered was the fragile bond that tethered you together, slowly finding its way back.

“Then…,” you began, your voice trembling, “I would like to stay a little longer. To understand more, to remember…”

Diluc’s expression softened, relief and gratitude shining in his eyes. “As long as you need,” he said, pulling you into a warm embrace.

In that moment, you felt a sense of peace, anxiety exiting your heart. You knew well that the journey ahead was uncertain, but for now, you were exactly where you needed to be.

“You’re always welcome here.”

•~•~•~•

Taglist: @coffeeisbehindyou @sandramalikstyles-blog @rebeccawinters @mis-disaster @definitelyatari @vintag3u @synqiri @distinguished-jeseter-things @eroxotckv

#diluc x reader angst #diluc x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin angst #genshin imagines #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x you #diluc x y/n #diluc x fem!reader

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hiraya-rawr · 2 years ago

Text

maybe we can be more than this (servant/master)

characters !! diluc, ayato

contains !! just dialogues of gn reader. angst/comfort?? i think

synopsis !! thinking about servant and master where it's so obvious you're both in love but you can't bring yourself to cross the line and it hurts him sm—

+ + +

D I L U C

He's frustrated, pacing around as you desperately try to explain.

"Master Diluc, you must understand why–"

"Just Diluc."

"But Master Diluc–"

"How many times must I tell you, (Name)?" He turns towards you, a scowl on his lips as his voice rises. He breathes heavily before his shoulders lower, relaxing, and his face changes to that of hurt.

A quiet heartache.

"How many times must I hear you call me that? We've been friends for so long. I've loved you for so long. Can't I be more than just that to you. . .?" He looks down on the ground, unable to meet your gaze.

You feel your lips part, heart aching. How could you dare?

". . . Diluc," You whisper and his eyes snap towards you, hopeful, as your hand makes its way to cup his cheek, "You are already more than just that to me."

"Then allow me to be with you." He begs quietly.

"You know why I can't." You sob, feeling his own warm hands cupping your cheeks.

"Please, (Name)."

"Don't."

"Please,"

". . . I have to go help Adelinde turn off the gas lamps. Please get some rest, Master Diluc."

+ + +

A Y A T O

"Look at this, (Name)," He states harshly, stomping into his office as you trail behind, helplessly explaining, "Look."

Ayato roughly gestures to the pile of papers on his desk. Each in beautiful stationery, stamped cleanly.

"Marriage proposals. Each and everyone of them, I've rejected. I did this for us." He turns to you, a look of hurt in his eyes.

"Lord Kamisato, you know why–"

"You didn't use to call me that. I was Ayato. I was-"

"-That was when the Kamisato household was falling apart! It's different now and you know that-!" You cut in.

"It is different! Now the Kamisato household has the power and influence. If you marry me, I will take down every obstacle in our way."

Silence. He stares at you from across the dark office, only moonlight filtering in to highlight his baby blue hair. You know he's desperate, having danced around the topic for ages, but how could you be the clan's weakness? You can see how everyone would talk— how history would talk about it.

'Such a fine bachelor yet he chose a mere servant. Is there something wrong with the clan?'

'He was seduced. Held down by a childhood friend. You can't even trust a servant.'

'The clan had only recently gained its influence, yet it's falling apart again, all because of some—'

"Ayato," You try to hold back tears. You know it's unfair to him if you use this card. "If you love me, then please— don't make me do this to the clan. Don't make me do this to you."

He looks defeated. Shoulders slumped, tired, as he brings up a hand to rest on his forehead. Looking away from you, he sighs, "Had I known it would be like this, I never would have taken you in as my servant."

character m.list || ko-fi

note !! nothing hits differently than men with everything except the love of their life *shrugs* anyway my links have been weird lately idk why so hopefully this story posts without issues

#genshin #favoniuslibrary #diluc x reader #ayato x reader #diluc #ayato #genshin impact #diluc ragnvindr #kamisato ayato #genshin x reader #genshin angst #genshin fic #diluc angst #ayato angst #genshin fanfic

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crepezinhos · 15 days ago

Note

Hii! Could I please request yan! Diluc and yan! Xiao with a darling on hunger strike?(basically she refuses to eat unless freed)

Ty 4 reading my request!

Starving For Love

POV: At the end of the day, despite all their twisted actions, words, and thoughts, you know they do it just because of the weird kind of love they feel for you. They’re cautious about everything that happens to you, to a point where you can’t have the freedom to hang out wherever you want. So why not threaten them with something they can’t control?

⚠️ WARNINGS:

— This is an angsty SFW Oneshot

— Reader is FEMALE and uses SHE/HER pronouns

— Contains violent themes such as: starvation, self-harm, physical harming/abuse, forced marriage, imprisonmen, mentions of SA and lots of bad words

— AU is: Modern for both characters

— Abusive!Yandere!Xiao + Diluc

Xiao: Being on His Shoes

Xiao was a man that went through a lot. He was abandoned by his parents in the streets, which forced to learn how to survive as a homeless, hungry kid, barely making it through every day. Then, he was recruited by a man that basically enslaved him under a manipulative contract in exchange for a stable home, food and water. Even when he was saved by Zhongli, the country’s war general, and given a real, free life, he managed to lose all that he loved once again, but this time during an event that is now called the Archon War. If only he hadn’t volunteered to participate that day… he wouldn’t have met all the friends he made in the way or have to watch them all die in brutal, bloody ways. A shot in the heart, multiple gunshots, explosions, being kidnapped by the enemy… he had seen it all with those amber eyes and he definitely wished to never witness something close to it again.

That’s why when he met you and fell in love with you, he went paranoid. He couldn’t just let you roam free in the cruel world where you two live in. He could easily lose you to some stupid, or cruel reason if he let you have freedom to walk wherever you wanted.

He couldn’t even trust his loyal companions when it came to you. Maybe they would take advantage of his trust on them to take you away from him. Xiao didn’t understand that not everyone viewed you as this heaven-sent angel as he did. He thought you naturally attracted everything to yourself with your beauty, kindness, will to work hard, including men with bad intentions, so he decided to completely censor you for the world, only to be seen by his eyes.

And, now, you’ve been in this repetitive cycle of practically living in a chamber in his home for months. He was completely ignorant to any protest, either ignoring them or not even noticing them, which was making you run out of ideas.

But, now that you were reminded of the man’s past, thanks to Ganyu, your old boss, you had brainstormed an idea that could finally trigger him into saying ‘yes’, and tonight, you wished to test it.

“Adeptus Xiao went through a lot. From hunger to watching his friends die… he pretty much went through all miseries of the world and refuses to help himself. I apologize for his aloof manner, Ms. Y/N…”

You dearly missed to hear her sweet voice bossing you around. When Xiao wanted to boss you, his voice didn’t have any other motivation rather than his own selfishness, he simply wanted to own your soul. And let’s not mention how war-cry-like tone in his orders were when he was angry.

“Y/N.” The door of your chamber, where you were sleeping at, was finally opened. A comforting shine of the house’s upstairs’ lights came inside the room too, lifting up your spirit a little bit. “I made this for you.” He walked up to you with a plate of your favorite food, whose smell was mouth-watering to you.

“Thank you.” You decided to not get up from your bed, or stare back at him. Watching the few, unmoving stars in the sky you could see from the room’s window was more entertaining than him and his food.

Xiao thought that maybe you just weren’t hungry in the moment, and decided to place it in the ground by your bed gently. He wasn’t satisfied with the way you acted there, but he had no option but to leave. Just to make sure you were fine, as soon as he closed the door, instead of walking upstairs, he decided to lean his body down and peek his eyes through the peephole before. You remained immobile as expected, unaware of him being invasive to your privacy, but at least you didn’t seem to be trying to put in action some another stupid plan to possibly escape from him. That’s when Xiao finally decided to let go of you for now.

“Y/N?” You heard his voice right above your right ear, a little sharper than usual, causing you to wake up in a shiver.

You looked upwards, meeting his eyes wide and worried. Your stomach was constantly aching and rumbling for food now, specifically your favorites ones, but you decided to keep acting like nothing was going on.

“Why didn’t you eat your dinner?” He pulled the plate with food and showed it to you. Now, the smell of it wasn’t too pleasant.

“I didn’t like the food.” You managed to tell the lie smoothly. You’ve been rehearsing that for the past hours to make sure it was spoken normally.

“It doesn’t look like you’ve taken a single bite out of it.” He sounded more stressed this time, worried about the accuracy of your words.

“It didn’t look good. I couldn’t bring myself to eat it, I’m sorry.” Xiao was surprised at your words and your nonchalant attitude, just turning around to go to sleep like you hadn’t just almost cut his heart in half. No one, not even you when you were protesting, has ever said that his cooking was bad.

His concern immediately took over him. He grabbed the fork hanging at a corner of the plate and brought it the food.

Despite the fact that it was awfully cold and a little out of date, it still didn’t really taste as bad as you described it to be. It couldn’t possibly be worse when it was still fresh and warm.

“Are you… sure?” He couldn’t even believe he was asking you such a question.

“Yeah.” You shrugged your shoulders, a little nervous about staring at him in the eyes now.

“I should get you something to eat now, then—” Xiao immediately begun walking to the kitchen before even finishing talking to you.

“No.” You murmured, slightly quiet, but he still heard you like that was a scream, and stopped to look back at you again. “I’m not hungry.” You smiled at him, knowing it’d help convincing him.

“You’re… not?” Xiao was dumbfounded.

“No.” You shrugged your shoulders again and decided to lay down at the bed again.

Sleeping was the only thing you could do to ease your hunger pains and slow it down as much as possible.

“Ok…” His eyebrows frowned, beginning to suspect that you had other things in mind.

He decided to try avoiding any possibilities of you doing something against his rules, so, for the rest of the morning, he forced you to stay around him while he worked with many documents. Leaving you alone in a room where you’d have privacy to do whatever you wished to did not seem like a smart idea to Xiao. And, of course, it comforted him to have you around, despite your hatred for him.

But, of course, his mind was quickly unsettled by your disinterest in food. Xiao would’ve probably ignored it for a longer period if it wasn’t for his own experiences with hunger.

What a trigger you pulling on him.

As a kid, sometimes he would have to eat bugs, spiders, snow… so many messed-up digestible things to survive. He knows the feeling of starvation like it was his shadow. It was slow, painful, agonizing… so he obviously want to protect you from it at all cost.

“It’s 2 in the noon. You haven’t eaten anything.” Xiao finally exploded and expressed his concern out of the blue, stopping his document-reading to pay attention at you.

“I’m not hungry.” You repeated yourself.

“I don’t care!” Xiao finally stood up, slapping the table with both hands, making you slightly shiver on your spot. “I’ll bring you lunch.” He walked out of the room in a hurry, stressed and disturbed by your behavior.

He didn’t take long to, once again, bring a plate of the food he had cooked the day before. There was no way you hated his cooking that bad. He took your words in the most offensive way possible, and now he wanted to see you eat it to make sure you actually don’t like it.

Your face remained normal as he came back and approached you with the tray of food in his hands. He sat down by your side and begun forking the food for you, expecting you to respond obediently, but instead, you just kept staring at him like he was invisible.

“Open your mouth.” He brought the fork closer to your mouth but you simply grinned in response.

“No.” Your voice was normal, but it felt like a sting to him.

“I want to see you eating the food. If I see that you really don’t like it, I’ll cook something else. You could also help me cooking if that helps you.” Xiao’s eyes were barely blinking at that point, completely desperate to see the answers of his experiment.

“I’ve been saying it this entire time, yet, you still don’t realize it.” You looked down to giggle with a little bit more of respect. “I don’t want to eat.“ You rose your head again, courageous to pro rest, but Xiao still seemed to not get it.

“Hum?” He hummed in confusion.

You don’t way to eat?

Is that really what you said right now?

You want to starve until you’re crying in pain?

“I’m hungry, but I don’t want to eat. I’m not going to eat.” You crossed both your arms and legs while doing a staring competition with him.

“What are you talking about?” Xiao lowered the fork, anxiety already beginning to accelerate his heart.

“I’m tired of this, Xiao. I’m tired of living in some shit, gray chamber every single day of my life. I want my freedom back again.” Xiao’s eyes widened with that sentence, realization starting to take him.

Is that why you don’t want to eat your meal? You want freedom first? Freedom of what? You’re free in his house.

“Are you trying to negotiate your rights in this house?” Xiao’s voice was low, yet threatening like he was a fox, preparing to attack you.

“Yes, I am.” You remained unmoved, despite his adrenaline levels raising and his tone growing more violent.

“Do you want to be locked up in that room for the next 5 days?!” Xiao immediately threatened, standing up just to grab you by the collar of your clothes, which didn’t really make you flinch. “You’re not going to get anything. You’re good where you are. Now, be a good girlfriend and open your mouth.” Although he was trying to scare you into obeying him, the way his hands were trembling with anxiety made his threat look pathetic.

No… no… you can’t be preferring to be on his old shoes instead of enjoying all the modernity he offered you in that house. You can’t be preferring to kill yourself brutally and slowly rather than being his girlfriend.

Xiao grunted as he thought of those and genuinely tried shoving the spoon closer to your mouth, but your instincts reacted first and you flinched your head to the side, using your ams to hold and push his arm back. It almost worked for Xiao, but the food still couldn’t reach inside your red flesh. Even if it did, you could just spit it out anyway.

When Xiao thought of that too, he intensified his weight on top of you. He could control so many things of you, yet, he couldn’t control what your brain chose for your interns. Perhaps locking you in a room would be better for your little plan too, so what could he do?

What could he do?

What could he do?!

WHAT COULD HE DO?!?!

“No..!” You responded, barely opening your mouth to not let him possibly hold it on place and shove food down your throat.

“You better stop with this nonsense right now, Y/N!” Xiao’s eyebrows frowned even more, looking absolutely serious about your threat.

“I won’t stop with it until I get my freedom back, and there’s nothing you can do about it! Do you know how it feels to be stuck at home 24/7 with a person that’s not worth it?! I want my freedom back right now, Xi—!” Before you could rant all your feelings out of their gates, Xiao’s hand jumped on you, making way into your mouth and holding it open.

“Shut up… SHUT UP! You don’t want to do this, Y/N, you don’t!” Xiao repeated over and over while trying to fight the strength you were putting in your jaw to bite him. “You’re gonna eat this meal… you’ll be ok… and you’ll be grateful for the rights you already have..!” He started using his other hand to aim the fork of food inside you, causing you to try fighting him even more. “You can’t hate me… not this much… you can’t..! There’s no reason for you to hate me this much! I could be acting way worse, you know?! But I am merciful to you, and only you…” You’ve never heard him talk so desperately like that while managing to shove a few crumbs of food, inside your mouth, in which you quickly started pushing out of you with your tongue.. “EAT! FOR GOD’S SAKE, JUST EAT!” Xiao started bobbing and shaking your arms, trying to possibly wake you up from your delusion. “Why are you doing this?! Why?! Why?!?! I give you everything that you need to live safely!” He finally jumped away from you so he could continue ranting with more freedom, walking in slow circles around the room.

You started hyperventilating immediately, coughing too to make sure that was absolutely no nutrients going down your throat.

“Y/N, I know what hunger feels like… you don’t want to do this over something so stupid like freedom to go outside…” Xiao covered his face with his hands due to the trigger he was getting from his own memories. “Why would you even want it..? To go shopping?! I can do that for you!” You scoffed at his words.

“There’s no point in discussing this with you.” You shook your head side-to-side. “Let me have freedom.” You insisted another time.

But, unlike what you expected from the triggered man in front of you, did not submit to your wish, and this time he made sure you’d be punished for the agony you’re making him feel for your well-being.

You spent the next hours just screaming and banging the door of your cell, talking about how you’d not eat until you got your freedom and for him to let you out, over, and over, and over… until you fell asleep, disappointed at yourself for not calling his attention.

But you were wrong. Of course Xiao could keep his eyes on you even when he was far. There was a single, miserably small camera in a corner of the room that could move to every angle of the room that you never spotted. As soon as he counted 10 minutes of you not moving in the bed, he decided to climb down and visit you.

Although hunger was making you fall asleep easier and harder, Xiao knew that you were alert to every touch of his due to your disgust. So he has to keep his steps smooth, his breathing calm, and his touch barely sensible.

He very slowly closed the door, the ‘bang’ noise fortunately didn’t wake you up. Then, he gently stepped around the room in soft spots until he could reach his hands on you.

It reached a loose strand of your pijama’s borders and slowly pulled them upwards until he could mire most of your chest. Although your underwear and raw skin did distract him a bit, as soon as his eyes landed on your ribs, now with visible bone curves, twisted his stomach upside down.

He remembered when he first realized his slimness when he was a famine kid. He would rub his hands around his ribs, finding the curves of his bones cool to play with, but as soon as his stomach ached for some source of energy, he curled up in agony and sobbed, praying for food to somehow appear for him.

To think of you in such situation made his grip tighten instinctively in your dress. He would’ve sheltered you or anyone in that situation immediately. But, now that he’s in love with you, he specifically belies you shouldn’t ever go through the hardships of Liyue for no good reason, even if you want to. After all, it is one of the many reasons why he keeps you stuck in one safe place with no access to harm.

But… it still failed to keep you safe from harm or simply to make you like it. You were supposed to be feeling comfortable at his home, not starving yourself to get out of it. He hated to see you doing that to yourself because of him. What a mean trick of you to use such a method of self-harm against his sensibility. One that he directly relates to, one that he directly fears and repels.

He can’t let you do that.

He can’t let you feel what it feels like to step in concrete-made streets, or in snow, with care feet.

He can’t let you feel cold enough to have your fingers and nose burning due to the heat shock of it.

He can’t let you feel hungry enough to think a beetle could be nutritious.

He can’t let you sell your dignity for some poor, soulless cheater.

He can’t let no man take advantage of you and place their dirty hands on you.

If he went through enough misery being a man, the thought of what it would be the woman he loves in his place makes him want to vomit.

He can’t let you hurt yourself.

“Ms. Y/N?” You heard a female voice above you.

Your body shivered in fear. It’s been a while since you’ve last been waken up by one of Xiao’s house maids.

“W-What…” The first thing you felt was a sting in your stomach and rumbling noises coming from it. Hunger was really becoming serious now.

Your eyes were aching to close again and your arms were barely handling to hold you sat in the bed due to the lack of energy in you.

“Here.” She offered you a whole pile of documents organized in a folder. “I’ll be your assigned caretaker.” She bowed to you and begun walking away from the room to let you have privacy to read the documents.

You watched the Mai’s leave in disbelief. From that sentence, you assumed that you won the game you proposed and that made your eyes open in joy.

You quickly turned to the folder, and the first thing your eyes landed on when you opened it was a small, orange sticky note.

“Please eat before beginning to read this.

I’ll be back at 8. You have until that time to enjoy the city.”

You rapidly removed the note from the white sheet in which it was glued against after reading it, desperate to dig out the context for that note and to satisfy your hopes. Your eyes were flashed by a whole pile of white sheets with multiple essays written in Arial font and in black color. You quickly ran through various pages, meeting various titles and sections for it all, like you were reading a law. Finally, you went back to the first page, and decided to finally take a look at the enormous title at the top of the page.

Your Rights of Freedom

And you could swear a tear rolled down your cheek.

Diluc: Bipolarity

Diluc was a man that had all advantages over you, and he used those to trap you in his house and control how you acted. He had money, power, influence, security… everything that you didn’t have more of.

Your life, right now, could be easily described as “depressing”, and nothing else.

You had no freedom at all. You were forced to abandon your friends, family and career dreams, to become a traditional wife. All you were left with were the maids of his home, but Diluc still restricted your relationship with them a lot, or else they’d surely suffer enormous consequences. You couldn’t ever leave the house, not even to the backyards. Diluc wasn’t even sacred of the possibility of you running away or you telling someone about your relationship with him, he just wanted to have you entirely for him and his needs. A perfect wife who was devoted to him and happy to pleasure him. But, since he couldn’t achieve that from you naturally, he used those financial advantages to force you to devote to him. The only times you’d ever get out of that house was when he wanted to bring you out with him and possibly bond with you truthfully, but since you wouldn’t demonstrate any interest, he’d rarely do so. For some reason he still believes he has the chance of making you genuinely fall in love with him. Don’t blame him! He tried making you love him for many years, ever since the beginning of college, but you never saw him as anymore than a friend! Diluc, in the other hand, was so obsessed with you and your rejection to his confession that he could barely sleep comfortably. Thoughts of you and him together filled his mind 24/7. He dreamed to have you wearing beautiful dresses for him, especially the white one, with a bouquet of flowers in your hands. The only things that ruined how Diluc processed his feelings was his father’s death. He loved his father, but never quite appreciated his efforts truly. When he died, an avalanche of guilt was thrown in Diluc, making him feel worthless for many years for not being as grateful as he should been to his dad. He was so scared of ever wasting anyone he loved again that he decided to make you his before you could ever think about getting a boyfriend, instead of simply letting you go.

And if you disobeyed his orders, he would punish you in multiple ways, either physically or mentally. But, since your fears made you submit as soon as he threatened you of punishment, you’d never actually found a reason to fear Diluc.

That phase was the worst phase of your life. Having to abandon literally everything you’ve built and have been building was a poison that only rose deeper in your blood vessels. And to submit to a toxic man, and having to act like a perfect robot that couldn’t do mistakes was truly draining. You had a soul. You had passions. Not even some passions of yours were free to you. Films with violence or sex? He won’t let you watch it. Films with female empowerment? He won’t let you watch it. Romance novels? He won’t let you even think about it. You protested, and protested, and protested… but Diluc never heard you. You were his, by law, and while you were stuck in there, there was nothing you could do about it.

Don’t get him wrong, he hated to see you staring at nothing, wondering if this mess of a ‘marriage’ will ever end. But if it meant he could make you love him, even if it was due to a Stockholm Syndrome, he didn’t see much problems in imprisoning you like that.

Once again, you were tired of it all. You wanted to regain the confidence you used to have once again. Breaking his furniture wouldn’t annoy him, harming him wouldn’t annoy him, harming other people around wouldn’t annoy him, not even if you harmed yourself would be enough.

But… what if you harmed yourself in a way he can’t control? Because if you slash your wrists or throw yourself from the home’s third floor, he could still take you to a hospital and save your life. Because he can stop you from dying pretty easily. But what if the harm was in stomach, a place his hands can’t reach?

So, you made the choice of starvation for this month’s protest.

“Do you not like the food?” He asked to you while you simply stared at the plate in boredom with your hands in your thighs.

“I’m not hungry, my dear.” You said despite your desperate wish to eat that delicious, juicy, medium-rare beef the cooks had made.

Every time the words ‘my dear’ has to come out of you, it felt like a stab in your heart. How many angels have lost their wings yet with every time you were forced to call him that?

“Eat.” He demanded with a more real tone this time.

“I’m feeling sick, my dear, please.” You decided to put your hands around your belly to make your lie look more real.

“What are your symptoms?” He already seemed to suspect your words.

“Nausea. A heavy one.” You covered your face with your hands and started rubbing your fingers around your forehead, as if you were trying to act more ‘sick’ to him.

He remained quiet for a few seconds, judging your argument and trying to remember if you’ve acted like that throughout the day. Perhaps you could be lying, but illnesses usually show up unexpectedly, so there was a possibility of the same really happening to you right now. Maybe one of the things you ate today were rotten and were making you feel sick like that. He could already feel some anger rising in his veins, thinking about the punishment he’d give to the cooks that let rotten food reach your beautiful pink lips.

“Ok. Go to bed.” He ordered you, this time more sweet and trustful about your claim.

Thankfully, there was a TV in his room, which was what you usually used to make free time run faster. Since you had many “wife duties”, you’d barely have time to sit on that bed and enjoy yourself with that big screen, to instead, spend an insufferable amount of time with him. Spending hours watching whatever you wanted on it, since he wasn’t there to monitor, you enjoyed yourself like never before. It was a great time, and you were glad you got to enjoy a little bit of your life again before it was absolutely crushed.

“What do you want for breakfast today?” He asked while leaning down to put his leather shoes on, on the right corner of the bed, and you, putting on a cozy robe in the opposite side of the bed.

“I’m not hungry, my dear.” You were short with your words, and refused to look back at him.

He remained silent, but you could sense his eyes preying at you, pausing his own shoe-putting.

“What are you trying to do, Y/N?” His voice already sounded scary to you, but you unfortunately had to swallow it all down to keep posture.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what are you talking about.” You still tried to act like everything was alright.

“You’re always hungry for breakfast, Y/N, no matter if you ate dinner or not. How are you not hungry after a whole night without eating a thing?” He finally went back to putting his shoes back on, so he could get off the bed as soon as possible to walk up to you.

His tall, menacing figure, standing close to yours, made your body harden in fear and flinch away from him. You couldn’t do it. No matter how many hours of practice and self-reassurance, you couldn’t even make eye contact with him when he was standing like that. A threat.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Y/N?” He asked, but you couldn’t find anything to answer again. “Stay right there. I’ll bring you food first.” The sudden change in his harsh tone to a more normal one, made you swallow all your saliva down your throat in relief, feeling how badly it had accumulated and stuck to your mouth during this moment of silence.

As soon as you heard his steps growing quieter and quieter, you sighed all the air you couldn’t exhale previously.

You closed your eyes and begun doing a breathing exercise, knowing you were certainly going to go through something bad, but with some hopes that at least it would be worth it.

It didn’t take Diluc long to come back with a plate of your favorite meal. Your mouth salivated to eat it, but you simply looked away instead, causing your stomach to rumble in denial.

“Here.” He sat down by your side and lifted his arm with the fork in his hand, but you refused to even look at it. “Look at me, Y/N.” His eyes were barely bruising your skin with their intensity.

“No.” You firmly stated. That was probably the only word you’d be able to mumble without stuttering.

“Excuse me?” Diluc sounded a little ironic, which triggered you into finally standing up for yourself.

“I will not eat any sort of food u-until you l-let me..!” You had to breathe in and out a deeply before managing to gather courage to finish your sentence. “Until you let me have my freedom back!” You closed your eyes and screamed. Without seeing his face, you had courage to scream whatever you wanted to him.

You proceeded to hyperventilate, waiting for him to give an initial argument for you to debunk.

Diluc suddenly threw the fork in some corner in the room. The sound of silver crashing around the floor multiple times made your body flinch back hard, completely opposite to your bravery. You saw his hands laying in the bed right after, using them as a support to stand up.

Yeah, you’re done for.

You thought that sentence to yourself over and over while looking down, preferring to listen to the eery noises of wood cranking with every step of his than staring at his poisonous eyes.

But, instead of what you expected, he simply stared down at you from a really short distance, in one of the deadliest silences ever.

“No matter what you say… I’ll not give up until I get my freedom ba—”

SLAP!

Before you could even groan from the agonizing pain of his tough hand crashing against your soft skin, he forcefully pulled your chin back with his hand until you were staring at him again. Now, you finally managed to let out some gasps and moans of pain.

“What kind of nonsense are you trying to babble right now, hum?” He whispered like everything you’ve said yet was an unfunny joke. “You’re not going to get any sort of freedom. I don’t care what you do to fight for it.” He tried breaking your confidence down, obviously not allowing you to defend yourself.

He remained quiet for some seconds again, admiring your pathetic hope to get his hand off your chin.

Diluc sighed and suddenly used a few of his force to pull you closer to him and spin the both of you around, making your feet pathetically dance in the floor to keep yourself balanced in it, and then pushed you.

You weren’t really scared of that, since you figured you’d fall in the bed, but you were terrified of his intentions. Seeing yourself in such position under him while he stared down at you with a stoic face made you wonder of what he intended to do with you.

From saying mean things to you, from threatening the well-being of anyone you loved, from harming you physically, or even… sexually.

The natural female fear of rape, which was already further intensified due to the situation he forced you to be in, took you over.

“D-Don’t…” You couldn’t even cry for him to not harm you like that, only curl up your legs and pull the bed’s sheets to censor the view he had of your body.

Diluc never really assaulted you like that. It was pretty unreasonable to expect that from him. But the way he unconsciously mired down at your legs made you absolutely certain that he’d do it, especially considering the hundreds of disadvantages you had compared to him.

“Don’t what?” He unexpectedly turned away from you, walking to the other side of the room in a normal pace.

You hated how his mood would change like a light switch. It was barely predictable. It’d always make you act contrary to his intentions, which was either annoying to him, or funny. When you were afraid of punishment, when there was no punishment, made him proud of how he tamed you. But when you acted sarcastic or unworried when there was punishment, had his blood boiling.

You heard silver noises coming from behind. Diluc was picking up the silver spoon he had previously thrown to scare you.

“N-Nothing…” You finally managed to answer his question, still too scared to leave the spot in the bed he threw tou at.

“My dear.” He completed your sentence with a sarcastic, but angry, tone, like he was tired of having to repeat that order over and over.

“M-My dear…” You repeated like a scared noise, which he luckily found cute.

You saw him coming back to you, rubbing a piece of his suit in both sides of the fork.

“I hope you don’t mind this was on the floor a few seconds ago.” He sat down by your side again, immediately focusing on the plate that was resting between you two. “Open your mouth.” He ordered again, as if nothing that you previously said even reached his ears in the first place.

You frowned your eyebrows, barely gasping at his audacity to ignore you.

“I already said I’m not eating anything!” You found courage to stand up against him again, which made Diluc sigh in annoyance.

Diluc stood up again and didn’t have any patience before fisting his hands and unexpectedly using them against your belly. It was a single hard punch that barely knocked your stomach out of your mouth. You curled your body and groaned in pain, trying to hold your will to vomit back to its place.

“Are you really going to force me into doing this?” His voice was low, contrasting the quivering woman kneeling under him.

“Y-Yes…” Your mouth barely pooled saliva in the floor as you tried to resist that punch’s pain.

“It would be better for you if you stopped this nonsense right now.” Diluc pulled your hair all the way to the back, forcing you to make eye contact with him.

But you hardened your face and nodded side-to-side, knowing that was simply a manipulative trick of his to convince you into giving up.

Diluc sighed again, and this time, he forced you to look down, immediately meeting his knee hooking hard against your face. As soon as he hears your moan, he let his grip in your hair go too, which made you immediately fall into the ground to your back, knocked down. You could already feel your nose aching from being twisted and blood drips running down from you. With trembling hands, you tried wiping them off, no matter if Diluc was already stepping closer, this time with the plate in his hands again.

“I wonder what suddenly got you so confident like that. Did you consume anything inappropriate yesterday in the TV?” He kneeled down, beginning to aim the fork to your mouth again, thinking you were already defeated.

Even if Diluc was the kind of man to worship you and your beauty in every opportunity and take all care necessary to keep your body unharmed, what he did to you right now was the complete opposite of your expectations of him. You’d never know it, but in the end of the day, Diluc secretly thought you looked even prettier when you were bleeding, especially because it was done by his hands. The contrast in the color of blood and your skin was always something that called his attention, and seeing it in your beautiful face made him delighted.

This time, you wanted to clarify your protest, and allowed him to put the food in your mouth, only for you to turn your head to the floor and spit every single crumb of it, each one that he saw falling in the woods itching his nerves.

“Tch.” He rose his body up again, immediately proceeding to punish you physically.

This time, he decided to take the opportunity of your exposed neck and cheek to barely crush your head using his foot, stepping and rubbing the leather on your cheek mercilessly.

“Why the fuck can’t you just be a normal wife like in every other couple?! WHY?!” His foot uncontrollably raised from your face and moved down, beginning to kick and hook multiple spots of your body while he screamed “Why” a million times.

This was probably one of the most suicidal eras of your life. To be spanked until you were put in a hospital bed and to wake up to him immediately threatening to harm your parents if you didn’t give up in your stupid plan, or told anyone in the hospital about your relationship, when you couldn’t even speak due to the breather, was definitely a gut-wrenching nightmare.

You gave up in your plan. Thankfully, neither of you made any comments about it, even if he had every opportunity to shame you for your stupidity. That’s exactly what he used to do after one of your plans failed. He mocked you, shamed you and punished you. A true torture that you would have to endure every time you failed.

“Y/N.” He called you again as you ate dinner in opposite side of the table to him.

Your whole body flinched as you heard his voice call you. It’s been a week since your latest protest attempt and it’s been a week since you’ve begun flinching to every action of his directed to you. It was inevitable. It was your first time ever being a victim of such kind of brutal abuse. You were scared for your like to make anything that would possibly trigger him into doing it again. Although you could’ve begun acting like that on pirose to make him feel guilty, this time, your fear was genuine, and he couldn’t ignore it any longer.

“Yes, my dear..?” You still had to answer to his every call with that nickname just like he taught you to.

“Do you—…” He wanted to ignore it, but he couldn’t anymore, and sighed, giving up on the idea of ignoring you again, and starting over again. “Why do you flinch every time I interact with you? Is this another trick of yours?” He dropped his fork in his plate and begun staring at you with calm eyes, trying to get you to feel comfortable with him, or threaten you if you were lying.

You wanted to scoff at him, anger barely raising to the tip of your tongue with such ingenuity, but you swallowed it down. You don’t want to die yet.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, my dear.” You looked down and proceeded to eat, trying to make yourself less nervous.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” At this point, Diluc already knew you were lying about your ‘innocence’ when you lowered your head down so frenetically like that. “Is it because of last Monday?” You didn’t move any other muscle of your body rather than your jaw, biting your food as slow as a snail, to gather some courage before answering him.

When you finally swallowed, most of the accumulated saliva went down with the food too, preparing your mouth for speech.

“Is there any other alternative, hum?” You dropped your act for a moment and immediately shoved a piece of meat in your mouth again right after, fisting hard on the fork to not demonstrate him any more anger.

Diluc didn’t say anything else and just stared at you stoically for some good minutes before deciding to unpause his eating.

At bedtime, Diluc hugged you from behind as usual and fell asleep. You didn’t want to move a single muscle of your body, afraid he could get angry, practically curling yourself so he could hold you how he desired to and with ease. Of course Diluc noticed it too. You’d never slept so paralyzed by his side. Sometimes you’d even turn around and unconsciously hug him during your slumber, but now, he couldn’t feel a bit of comfort in the way you slept.

“Y/N.” He whispered, causing you to shiver once again.

You failed, didn’t you?

“Relax.” His voice immediately triggered you into obeying him.

You couldn’t relax your whole body, of course, but you did enough for him there, relaxing your legs and shoulders. It was enough for him not to bother you again with it.

Diluc was pissed. And your behavior was only growing his anger more and more. He did use fear to train you as a wife most of the times, but he never intended to make you so uncomfortable like that. He intended to slave you into loving him, not to slave you as an actual slave. You were doing so well previously, obeying him and still finding a few reasons to smile at him somehow, but not even gifts were turning you on now. Everything he did was like an alert to you

Why couldn’t you be a normal wife who dearly loves their husband? Every time he went to business-related parties and took you with him, he’d always meet his companions surrounded by their wives, who were happy to be holding their arms, to be wearing their rings, to be talking about their husbands to other women, while he didn’t get any of that from you. To everyone else, you were Diluc’s shy, weird and quiet wife, and now you’ve peaked those adjectives.

The alarm annoyingly ticked over and over, waking you up from your slumber. You couldn’t feel any weight around you, meaning Diluc had already gotten up. You sat up in the bed, leaning forward to turn the alarm off. You begun your morning by stretching your arms as usual and rearranging your pijamas back to their normal placement around your body, since they’d sometimes twist into really bizarre angles. While you prepared yourself for another depressive day, you heard the door to the bathroom slide.

“Good morning.” Diluc stared at you while walking to the closet in the opposite side of the room.

This morning, you attempted to not answer his greeting. You just weren’t in the mood of it, although that could’ve meant you’d get punished.

“If you’d like to go out today, I’ll assign a maid and a driver to take you anywhere you want to go.” His words caught you unexpectedly, especially since he was talking so neutrally about it, not even looking at you.

“W-… What..?” You could swear your eyes were shining in excitement.

“You heard me.” He refused to repeat his previous words, shrugging his shoulders as he ran his hand through his many hanged suits.

“I can… leave..?” You could feel your eyes get slightly wet.

“Yes. You have until 7 to come back. If you come home tardy, I’ll make sure your right of freedom will be reduced to zero again. And I believe I shouldn’t need to mention the consequences what will happen in case you tell anyone about our marriage.” Diluc quickly got dressed and left the room before he got any more flustered from hearing your sighs of relief and excitement. At least he was happy he managed to bring genuine joy to his beloved wife. “Goodbye.” He greeted before closing the door.

And a tear ran down your cheek.

From the relief of knowing that all your hard work had made profit.

Taglist: @the-stinky-winky @amoyanderes @kindofshyent @shyentsfoundherink @bigmantiddys @goofy-ego @luminieee

Don’t forget to like and comment if you liked it <3

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blastyangel · 1 month ago

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Diluc’s dream part 1 and 2 💭 (song : End of beginning for part 1)

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cattlemons · 23 days ago

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hey!! it’s 💿 anon :)) i feel bad that i’ve only sent you angst requests so here’s a happy one! (because i adore everything about fall!!! cozy sweaters, warm tea, the pretty colors :)) it’s so great) maybe something about fall picnic dates/hangouts? with whatever characters you feel like writing for :D <333

Seasons of Change: Autumn Activities

Multi character! Diluc, Wanderer x Reader (separate)

TW: Nothing!

Diluc “You know, you could’ve told me you wanted to go out on a stroll,” Diluc huffed before continuing, “I would’ve brought you your coat, sweetheart.”

Trust in your husband to be a worrywart.

“It’s not even that cold out here, Diluc. It’s brisk at best,” you poked his side as you teased him on, “plus I’ve got my own walking fireplace right here. What would I need a coat for?”

Accepting his defeat, Diluc grumbled silently about how much of a tease his wife was. Though he wouldn’t want you any other way, not with how tightly his grip on your hands was.

You continued your walk in balmy silence as the moon hung brightly in the inky expanse of the autumnal sky, wordlessly spectating the moment you two were currently sharing.

“Hey, husband,” you called, “what’s your favorite season?”

The husband in question rolled his eyes at your unusual nickname but thought of it as endearing regardless. He mulled your question over, knowing that you weren’t going to accept just any ordinary answer.

It was silent for a few seconds before he answered, “Any season is nice when I get to spend it with you.”

He waited for your reaction expectantly though he wished he hadn’t because he saw your face scrunch in faux disgust before letting out a loud snort that stumbled and rolled into plentiful guffaws. Despite the source of your mirth stemming from his embarrassment, he couldn’t help but think he’d embarrass himself ten times over just to hear your tinkling chimes of happiness.

You wiped your fake tears as you leaned into him and mused, “I never realized I married myself to a cheesy man. If you trained hard enough, I’m sure in a few month's time you’ll be giving Kaeya a run for his money.”

“You tease me relentlessly for my, ahem, creativity yet I’m sure if I answered you with a measly ‘autumn’ you’d tease me just the same for being boring,” he commented with a raised eyebrow.

You nodded, “fair enough, your assumptions are correct. I do tease you quite a bit, don’t I?”

“I’d say much more than just ‘quite a bit’,” Your husband huffed out though a smile crept slowly onto his lips. Even as he defended himself before you, he can’t help but subconsciously adore you, smiling at just how comfortable you and your sly tongue are with him. He’s glad he makes you feel safe enough to goof off.

As you both continue throwing loving jabs at one another, he pulls you closer to him. You snuggle into him as you inhale the warm woody scent of your husband. All the familiarity that exudes from your favorite person in the entire world softens your heart like no other; the realization that he knows you much more than anyone does brings a pleasant sense of comfort that gathers and pools in the pits of your stomach.

Out of the billions of souls wandering the planes of Teyvat, you’re glad that yours have found kinship with his blazing soul. You wonder how low you’d have to bow your thanks to Lady Luck for arranging such a beautiful fate. Thinking of him and how well your body fits into his pulls you to stand on the tips of your toes to give him the faintest of kisses.

You’ve kissed him with passion under the security of silk blankets, yes. You’ve kissed him with giggles in between both your lips, yes. But this feels entirely new but somehow familiar at the same time.

As your lips find purchase in his, his scarred fingers tangle themselves within your locks, intertwining himself as much as he can with you.

The night breeze continues to whistle around you and the woodland critters of the night chitter away at the starry world but neither of you seem to notice. Much like you said earlier, he really does bring warmth along with him. A warmth that encapsulates your heart even on the coldest nights. Your very own walking fireplace.

Your very own home.

The Wanderer

“Wow, I can’t believe you get this view for free all the time. This is incredible! I’d bet you can sell tickets and get a whole lot of Mora by taking people on joyrides. I mean flying is a luxury, you know... for most people, anyway.”

The Wanderer huffed in annoyance as he threw you a not-so-icy glare while readjusting your position in his arms.

“It’s not a smart idea to test my patience while your life is in my hands, idiot. I take my hands off of you and you’re plummeting to your death,” the man said a bit too matter-of-factly.

You groaned dramatically about how he ruined the mood and poked some more fun at him knowing he wouldn’t dare drop you, you’d bet good Mora he knew that too.

As you fly over the canopy of Apam Woods, you both find yourself slowly forgetting your main objective of tracking down a gang of treasure hoarders that ransacked your campsite a couple of hours ago. It’s not like they stole anything of value, just a bunch of knick-knacks you picked up from a traveling merchant.

“I know you once told me that autumn is the poor man’s winter but I'd bet half my fortune that this view has changed your mind,” you smile as you lean your head to rest on his shoulder before continuing, “Fall is probably the most boring season anywhere else in Teyvat but in a continent wholly filled with trees, you can’t help but appreciate the change in color palette.”

Despite his silence, The Wanderer understood what you meant. He wasn’t one to be awed by a pretty view but he admits that perhaps, just this once, it is worth the admiration. His eyes were so used to shades of teal and green that the moment they finally melted into the warmth of amber hues, he couldn't help but be struck by the beauty of change. Much like who he was made to mimic, he has a certain affinity towards the serenity of stagnancy but, he supposes, much like your presence in his life, you’ve shown him that there is a damning allure about transience. In all honesty, it’s quite a nice change of pace, certainly in his eyes.

You can’t help but fill the silence as the breeze caresses both of you gently.

“I know this is a one-time occasion but I wonder if one day I’d get to see this view again. The trees are like little puddles reflecting the setting sun like a camera capturing little snippets of a pretty, orange image,” you sighed into his shoulders, “maybe one day, I’ll learn to fly too.”

The Wanderer kept to himself as you muttered your sleepy wishes.

As the sun continues its journey into the underworld, the sky begins to shift into a gradient of purple and blue; the colors of midnight sky dissolving into the glowing hues of past hours. The Wanderer found his own midnight eyes drifting towards your sleeping form in his arms. You looked so beautiful, your transient, ever-changing self. He wonders if your wish to see this view once more will come true next year or perhaps the year after that.

Though he knows now that there is no permanence and assurance in the future, he hopes against hope that what you are to him will stand the test of time. Inside the hollow chambers of his chest, he feels the telltale warmth he only feels in the quiet moments you share with him. In that warmth lies his wish to fly with you in his arms, through every autumn he has left to share in this lifetime with you.

a.n. Thanks for visiting, 💿anon. I hope you like this one even though it's rushed and barely checked for grammar mistakes. Sorry it's literally December when I post this :") we can just pretend it's still fall !

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pochipop · 2 years ago

Text

＃DILUC RAGNVINDR !! ♡ — DROWN ME IN YOUR FLAMES - CHAPTER II: TO DINE ON EMBERS.

#. synopsis! — with diluc's plan set in motion, you venture far outside your comfort zone (and far outside your own reality.) as you rekindle the long-lost spark you had with him in your youth, you realize rather quickly that this place is nothing short of disorienting; and as diluc gears up for his first fight, the arrival of some unexpected guests might just throw everything off its already rocky course .

#. characters! — diluc .

#. warnings! — brief mentions of alcohol presence and consumption .

#. word count! — 4.8k .

#. alt accounts! — @ddollipop (nsfw) @yyolkchi (reblog/spam)

#. others! — navigation & masterlist .

#. previous chapter! — here .

#. taglist! — @cafekiri , @sunukissed , @lez-zuha , @crowleyco , @sunlittsu . (if you'd like to be added/removed, contact me through tumblr dms or simply leave a reply under this post!)

As expected, gaining entrance to a so-called “abyssal zone” was no easy task. Diluc handled the formalities (if you could really call them that) over the coming days, —managed to track down where the next zone would be opening, made arrangements for his entrance under the appropriate moniker of “The Phoenix,” and even managed to find time in the evenings to swing by your family’s bakery and give you the day’s rundown. Those times, however, his presence was much less unwelcome, much more expected, and he actually purchased a few items during his loitering; some of which he would nibble on throughout the conversation, and others he would take back to the winery for the staff.

Your father remained mostly stagnant in his health, which was better than getting worse, of course, but far from what you would have wanted. It only made sense his condition wasn’t improving without the proper medicine, but it didn’t make the reality of it any less hurtful to bear witness to.

The door to the quaint shop opened just before closing time, and in stepped Diluc, hands adorned with those same black gloves that fit so snugly around his long fingers, —thick, brilliant hair pulled back and tied just above the nape of his neck. He really had grown up to be incredibly handsome in every sense of the word. Even the way he walked was alluring, head held upright and proud, boots thudding against the floor in a sturdy rhythm.

“Ah, you again,” you joke with him, “guess my baking skills have really turned you into a regular, huh?”

Diluc breaks his typically stoic demeanor to give you a slight smile.

“I suppose so,” he plays along. “That, and we have a long few days ahead of us, as I’m sure you’re well aware.”

Were you ever.

It was hard to sleep last night knowing just what was approaching. You laid in bed, body quivering under the weight of the anxiety, whispering soothing phrases to yourself as if chanting “everything will be fine” to yourself just under your breath would somehow manifest that actuality. All things considered, something was bound to go wrong. What that something was, well, you’d just have to wait and find out, —and that thought made sleep none the easier to come by.

“Yeah,” you acknowledge, a solemn tone lacing through your voice. “I know.”

In the brief silence that follows, there’s a lingering sense of uncertainty that sends ripples of fear through the space between Diluc and yourself. It’s so thick that you’re sure he can feel it too, and you’re left to assume that’s why he continues on so promptly.

“You’ll be fine,” he says, but swiftly corrects himself, “—we’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of it.”

You worry it’s a promise he doesn’t quite have the faculties to keep, but choose not to voice your concerns just yet. If nothing else, starting the journey off on the right foot is likely the best you can do for him, and far be it from you to drag him down into this hellish pit of anxiety with you when it really doesn’t seem to be necessary.

“I trust you,” you say instead, giving him a slight nod.

It’s not just for show, either. Funnily enough, trusting Diluc was the easy part. Maybe it’s the influence of having known him so fondly in the past, —or maybe it’s just the way he carries himself as if he’s never faced an obstacle he couldn’t will himself to overcome. Either way, it was a simple endeavor to entrust your safety to him (perhaps a bit foolishly, and for better or worse.)

He doesn’t say it, but the way his eyes soften ever so slightly upon hearing that sentiment tells you everything you need to know. Diluc may be a bit rough around the edges, but there’s a lover buried deep inside that chest of his, —one that cares and yearns and strives like there’ll never be another tomorrow. That’s how he’s always been, and it’s nice to know that some things really haven’t changed since you were close.

“We’re lucky the zone isn’t far off,” he continues, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “We’ll have no trouble reaching the area before sundown if we leave soon.”

Lucky feels like a strong word, but you don’t seek to correct him.

“I’m ready when you are,” you confirm, mustering up the best brave-face you can.

The evening air makes for an uncomfortable walk, but you manage to keep up with Diluc’s long, deliberate strides. It doesn’t take long at all before he halts you in your tracks, opening his coat to pull a set of plain black Fatui masks from the inner pocket. When he hands one over to you, your face twists in a mixture of disgust and confusion, prompting him into an explanation.

“It’s a requirement for entry,” he states, “—trust me, I’m not a fan of it either.”

With a soft sigh, you slip the mask on and Diluc does the same. If nothing else, it looks good on him, you suppose; though that’s a pretty sorry excuse for self-comfort.

“It makes me uneasy knowing that something like this is happening so close to the city,” you comment.

This area of Windrise is so close that you can still see the soaring windmills of Mondstadt just off in the distance. Lingering shreds of sunlight still cling to the horizon, but the ever-darkening atmosphere feels much too fitting for the mood.

“I wish I could say it doesn’t worry me,” he answers despondently, “but I admit, there are nights it keeps me awake.”

You figure that’s part of the reason he hasn’t sought the help of anyone outside of his spy network. That, and he has a notoriously poor relationship with the Knights of Favonius these days, —not that you have any of the specifics on that (nor will you be asking anytime soon.)

“In any case, how exactly do we. . . Enter?” You ask, pushing the other worries to the back of your mind for the time being.

“Well, obviously I've never done it before," he begins, "but as far as I know, there should be a guide arriving soon enough. We just have to wait for them to show up."

"A guide?" You question. "What, is this interdimensional pocket of mimicked Teyvat supposed to be some kind of tourist attraction?"

Diluc let's out a soft snicker, a smile creeping onto his face just below the edge of his mask. If nothing else, it's nice to banter with him like this again. . . It feels natural in a way you hadn't expected, especially after so long.

"It shouldn't be too much longer now. The sun'll be completely set any minute, and once it's gone down, the zone entrance will open up for a bit. Tonight's the last night to gain entrance to this one, from what I hear," he says.

"How long has this one been open for?" You inquire.

"I got wind of it six days ago, but I'm sure you can tack a few days, give or take, onto that. Most zones stay up for about two weeks their time, —not even a full day in Teyvat's typical timeline. I'm sure there's a range, but we'll know more once we've entered ourselves, so it's best not to make assumptions without proof," Diluc replies.

"How many people do you think will be there?"

"I couldn't say for certain," he shakes his head. "Henley said there was upwards of a hundred in the zone he entered, but I'm sure the number varies for a variety of reasons. At the very least though, it's safe to assume we'll see ten matches across the next two days, —mine included. That's at least two people, fighter and representative, plus who knows how many spectators willing to place bets. . ."

Diluc lets his words trail off, the low whisper of his tone going utterly silent. Through the slits of his mask, you can see his scarlet eyes follow something, —and you swallow the lump that instantly forms in your throat.

"Guide," he mouths to you, and it's then that you realize just how painfully unprepared you'd been this entire time.

It's far too late to turn back, but a part of you wants to run for the hills.

"Hello there," a surprisingly chipper, feminine voice says to the two of you.

Diluc moves to stand at your side, tugging you along by the wrist to turn your attention to a woman with wavy, shoulder-length brown hair, a Fatui mask in a different style than your own covering the top half of her small face. She's dressed in purple with a pair of nice, black dress shoes, and she all but skips along the grass to make your acquaintance.

"Dawn Winery's fighter and representative, I presume?" She inquires, a sickeningly sweet smile stretching across her rather delicate features.

If you'd have met her under any other circumstances, and she'd been void of that mask, you likely would have thought of her positively as a simple optimistic spirit. Here, however, her joyous demeanor unnerves you more than anything else.

"Correct," Diluc answers with an affirmative nod, "I hope we haven't kept anyone waiting too long."

"No, not at all!" She waves her hand dismissively, "—the true show doesn't begin for another few hours. The rest has been the usual mingling of the guests, enjoying the refreshments, things of that nature. Given that it's your first time, I'm sure the both of you will have some exploring of your own to do as well, and I wish you all the fun in doing so!"

You find it increasingly creepy how she speaks as if she's selling you some kind of retreat or an island getaway at a resort in another nation rather than slitting reality open just to send the two of you off to watch people punch each other. Nevertheless, you bow your head in thanks, forcing a smile onto your face that pales in comparison to her own.

"Thank you," Diluc vocalizes for the both of you.

She seems pleased enough with what little chit-chat has gone on thus far, clasping her hands together in front of her chest like an excitable child.

"Well then, I won't hold you up any longer!" She says cheerfully.

It's then that she pulls a pair of daggers from either pocket of her dress, gripping them so tightly that her knuckles lighten in the process. You take a cautious step away out of instinct, heart thundering against your ribcage. If not for the faint, blueish-purple glow of the blades, you might not have been able to spot them so quickly, and the thought of it is anxiety-inducing to say the very least.

"It's okay," Diluc whispers, —and if she happened to catch wind of it, she chose not to react.

The so-called guide raised one hand above her head, but kept the other at waist-position, and with a grunt that seemed to be more for show than anything else, plunged both daggers into something previously unseen. The blades were buried up to the neck, their glow completely stunted, —first by nothingness, and then by some black, oozing substance that you wouldn't have been able to identify even if you'd tried. Face scrunching up in visceral disgust, you fight the urge to take another step back, though the desire to put distance between yourself and whatever that is remains.

"Sorry," she apologizes, but giggles as she does so like a little girl, "—I always forget to warn people that this part can get a little messy."

A little seems like a grave understatement to you, especially when the pitch black goo begins to seep from the open slits like puss. It churns your stomach just looking at it, and that feeling doubles tenfold the moment she yanks the daggers further along, creating a larger gash that intersects somewhere in the middle.

"What is that stuff?" You question, fingers nervous curling around the end of Diluc's coat sleeve.

"Not sure," he mumbles under his breath, "some kind of secretion, it seems like, but. . . I really haven't a clue what it's made of."

The woman then proceeds to pull the oozing flaps apart, her daggers falling haphazardly to the grass at her feet. Despite having been buried in the thick of the goo, they're as clean as they were the moment she jabbed them in, but their glow has disappeared and they register as nothing more than typical weapons now. There's little to no struggle at all as she peels the two sides away until a hole more than large enough to climb through has been left in her wake.

"Don't be nervous," she says, motioning for the both of you to come forward, "just step through! And don't be scared if you experience a little dizziness or nausea at first, it's just your body acclimating to the new surroundings."

Standing outside this weird, gaping hole has already made you dizzy and nauseated all on its own. You really didn't need any artificial help on that front.

"Thank you," Diluc says again.

Before you have the time to utter a single noise, he's walking forward and plunging a fearless leg through the misty entrance of the abyssal zone. He looks back only for you, as if sensing your anxiety before you could put it into words.

"Don't be nervous," the woman repeats herself, "—you're sure to have a good time."

You really don't want to go through with this, but somehow, staying in your everyday reality with her would appear to be a fate much worse. That, and after all the trouble Diluc and his team had gone through to set all of this into motion, you knew the guilt would eat at you much worse than any nausea ever could if you denied him this now when he’d already come this close. Thus, you hold your breath as you step through the blackened slit of the material world as you know it, preemptively reaching out for something to grasp hold of. For a moment, it feels like you’re falling, —like your body has slipped into a state of weightlessness and gravity has relinquished its hold over you.

A soft yelp escapes your lips and you find yourself feeling breathless, even as you meet with solid ground. It’s not so much dizziness or nausea that takes hold of you now, but more of an eerie unease; like your body is in fight or flight mode and you don’t know how to flip that switch off again. A chorus of unfamiliar voices fill the air, speaking words that you don’t quite catch over the reverberation of your thundering heartbeat.

“Y/n?” Diluc says, his softly-spoken call laying waste to the rest of the noise, “—are you okay?”

You look up at him with fear in your eyes, —fear that he wishes he could soothe away somehow.

“. . . Yeah,” you answer after a moment or two, “I’m okay.”

You really are. Mostly, anyway. All things considered, that could have been exponentially worse, and as far as you can tell, the throes of it have ceased for the time being. The two of you are standing in the exact spot of vacant Windrise through which you’d entered, but darkness has yet to overtake this version. The sun still hangs up in the sky, and the isolation of the area as you knew it just prior has been overridden by a barrage of faces that you don’t recognize at all. You can tell by the various styles of dress that many of those standing around are not from Mondstadt, and it makes you wonder just how far some of them must have traveled to be in attendance today. . . Makes you wonder how they managed to get here without raising suspicion somehow, just considering the sheer numbers they've peaked at.

“There's. . . A lot of people here,” you mutter.

Diluc nods, then motions for you to follow along with him. He all but exudes the kind of calmness you wish you could have under these circumstances as he saunters into the crowd, taking quick glances at those around him. You catch bits and pieces of various conversations in passing along the way.

“Last I heard, they were struggling to pay back the hefty sum they lost in the last fight. . .”

“The drinks they’re serving this go around are much better. . .”

“It’s a shame! He was a good fighter, but poor management of finances can kill even the loftiest of businessmen these days. . .”

You’re quick to tune out. When it comes to discussions of the rich and powerful, you’re hardly one with a stake in the waters. Diluc, on the other hand, you know to be quite affluent, and you’re sure he could hold his own much better in such conversations if the need presented itself.

You make a mental note to ask him about that later. Considering how much these people seem to enjoy chatting amongst themselves, you’re sure a time will come when you’ll have to be part of the conversation, and it would likely be best for you to know the basics of it all if nothing else. Like it or not, you have an image to keep up in this place as the face and subsequent mouthpiece of Dawn Winery. Having to talk the talk and walk the walk simply comes with the territory, and you've gotten yourself wrapped up in all of this quite tightly, so it's only fair that you make appropriate efforts.

“Where are we going?” You question.

Knowing Diluc, he has to have some sort of plan. He’s not the type to rush into anything without some form of meticulous planning. Not much has changed about him in that regard, and that makes you happy, though you couldn’t exactly say why.

“To scope the area,” he replies. “Look just up ahead and tell me what you see.”

Right to work it is then, you suppose. . .

Focusing your gaze ahead, you scan the general area with an inquisitive scrutiny. There’s green grass, a few of Mondstadt’s representative dandelion’s bent in the breeze, —nothing you’d consider to be out of the ordinary. You keep pace with Diluc in spite of his longer legs, searching for anything to hone in on.

“I don’t get it,” you admit. “Is there something in particular I’m supposed to be looking for?”

“Nothing like that,” he answers, “—but you’re being too near-sighted. Take a look at the bigger picture and try again.”

Sometimes, Diluc talks in circles. It’s not for the pleasure of annoying you or making you feel less intelligent, even if it can admittedly have those effects every now and again. He does it in order to encourage your critical thinking and spur you to consider all possibilities whenever the option presents itself. Now, you acknowledge, must be one of those times.

Staring straight ahead now, you squint your eyes off into the distance. . . And that’s when it hits you. The closer you get to the oncoming trees and bushes, the less they seem to be fully there. From back where you’d entered, the general blur of the horizon line wasn’t as visible, and Archons knows how Diluc was able to pick up on it so quickly from so far away. It’s blurry now as you come closer to the edge, like the background of a painting that’s been smudged over time.

Diluc takes your silence as understanding and stops just short of the haze.

“If you watch closely, you can see it ebb and flow like water,” he says.

Indeed, he’s right again, and just the sight of it leaves you feeling a bit seasick.

“What does it mean?” You inquire.

“That these zones likely aren’t as stable as anyone here would like to think,” Diluc replies. “Don’t forget, this place is connected to a realm we know little to nothing about. They’re created by harnessing power even the elemental Archons might not have been able to fully decipher.”

Add that to the list of reasons for you to get out of here as soon as possible.

“That being said, we should go back with the others. It’s best not to draw attention to ourselves, and being outliers like this is sure to do just that if we’re not careful about it.”

“I think it’d also be best to stay away from these spots,” you tell him. “I know it might sound silly, but just being so close to the edge has given me chills. I feel like standing here is inviting something dangerous to happen, and I’m sure we’d both rather avoid that at all costs.”

He hums in acknowledgement.

“Agreed.”

You're thankful that he's bothered to take your feelings on the matter into consideration. That's a rather low bar, of course, but it happens to mean a lot coming from someone as capable as Diluc. He's experienced in this area to some degree, —possesses knowledge that you likely won't ever be privy to. . . But he's listening. As if he trusts your intuition on this, even when all he has to go on is your word.

"Do you know how long we'll be here?" You inquire. "A rough estimate, at least?"

"Hard to say now," he replies, sounding somewhat apologetic about it, even when it's clear that you're not upset by his lack of an answer.

The vagueness is something you expected, though you get the feeling that part of it is purposeful on his part. Even if he's allowed you to come this far, perhaps he's still uncertain as to just how much he can trust you. It's understandable, to a degree, but. . . You can't say it doesn't wound you a bit, even if you get it.

"In any case, we have time to burn," Diluc says. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"I don't think I could stomach anything," you reply honestly.

It's not so much the nausea you were warned about, or even a general sense of sickness. The anxiety of this situation is the real killer here, and it's clawing away at you with maximum fortitude. Try as you might to keep it under wraps, you're sure most of it has been obvious to Diluc from the start, —and you'd be right about that. He's picked up on your unease and has taken the liberty of squashing as much of it as he can to the best of his ability. You're a simple individual in many respects, so taking you away from the crowded areas and giving you a better feel for the situation was strategic on his part. The fact that it aided in his understanding of the abyssal zone was simply a net positive; —the sweet syrup drizzled atop a stack of fluffy pancakes.

"Fair enough," the redhead says, offering you the glimpse of a smile.

He pauses, as if thinking on what to say next, then utters: "Let's grab two glasses for the sake of appearances. We'll find somewhere to stand and observe."

You're quick to agree. From the long, stretching table sat off to the side, Diluc parts with you for just a few moments to snag two glasses of deep-red wine. As he hands you yours, he takes a small sip from his own, then makes a subtle face.

"Not good?" You inquire as a giggle bubbles up from your chest.

He considers this a win. If you're amused, it means he's at least partially succeeding in making you feel safe at his side.

"Not good," he confirms with a shake of his head.

You take his word for it and leave yours untouched.

"Stand beside me," Diluc prompts, though it sounds more like an offer than a command.

His voice is soft when directed at you, like he's trying to temper your nerves in any way he can.

"That man over there," he begins, "the one in complete Fatui garb. Do you recognize him?"

Surprisingly enough, there aren't many actual agents of the Fatui here. You'd spotted a few thus far, but considering just how many longer around Mondstadt City and the surrounding areas, you were almost expecting a full house of them. Instead, you've found that their presence here is minal, as if donning the masks has made everyone in attendance an affiliate. The thought of it is a bit disturbing.

This agent, however, is pleasantly familiar. It's actually quite the relief to see him here.

"That's Henley, isn't it?" You inquire, keeping your voice low and facial expressions to a minimum in order to avoid suspicion.

Even with this mask on the upper half of your face, you find yourself being rather cautious of what you allow yourself to show so visibly.

"Correct you are," Diluc replies, taking another unhappy sip of his wine. "And the young woman just over there, with the long, black hair? Her name is Eloise. She's also a member of my network, —albeit much newer than Henley. I say this to assure you that no matter what, there are people looking out for you here."

As if sensing that she's been introduced, Eloise looks over her shoulder, catching Diluc's gaze before letting it flicker over to you. She gives you a quick, warm smile, then returns her attention back to the two young men she'd been chatting with. Even from afar, you can tell that she knows how to control a conversation. It seems the two men before her are practically eating out of her palm, and you find that quite impressive.

"I do trust you, Diluc," you say to him. "If I didn't, I wouldn't have had the nerve to come."

He already understands as much.

"And I trust you," he confirms. "Not just to make the calls during fights, —not just to be Dawn Winery's executive official. . . But with all the information I know about these places, and all that I can tell you about the work I've done from the shadows."

You suspect there's a lot of truth to that, but have to question the extent of it. There's quite a bit you've been left in the dark on, and perhaps that information will come with time, but for right now, you're hard pressed to believe that Diluc has told you everything you should know. Still, you give him a small smile in spite of that.

That smile fades, however, when everyone's chatter goes silent. An air of unease overtakes the entire space, as if sucking the oxygen from everyone's lungs, rendering them utterly speechless. Diluc seems much less afraid than you, but you can tell that his guard is up quite high.

It only takes a moment longer for you to understand what all the proverbial fuss is about. From a swirling, blue-purple, portal-like entryway completely opposite the oozing slit you and Diluc had stumbled in from; a trio of well-dressed individuals emerge. The first of the bunch is a raven haired man with rounded glasses and a deceptive smile. You feel chills creep up your spine from having just seen him, even from afar. The next is a much shorter, stouter, aged man who also dons glasses on his face; but these are pure circles perched along his lengthy nose. Below sits a curled mustache that covers his top lip entirely, and on his head he wears a tall hat adorned with many enrichments.

Lastly, a stoic-faced woman with silvery-white hair that bears a section of much darker strands toward the front moves to the head of the small group, her sharp gaze flickering about her surroundings. Even this miniscule gesture leaves your nerves prickling. She commands so much respect from simply existing in this space that it’s almost unreal. The tension that surrounds everyone can be cut with a knife, and you hold your breath without meaning to.

“W-Who are they?” You stutter.

The wine glass in your hand bears the remnants of your fear, the crystalline glass fogging up as a result of your clammy palm.

These three aren’t wearing masks, their faces in full view. . . Henley steps forward from out of the crowd, and you resist the urge to call out to him to beg him just to fall back in line and play along. You don’t know who these people are, but one thing is for certain: you don’t want to get on their bad sides. The brunet man unsheathes the sword he wears on his hip, stabbing it directly into the dirt between his feet. He falls to a single knee, head bowed in what you can only assume is an expression of respect. The crowd follows in suit, kneeling before the three of them. Diluc pulls you down with him, and you barely manage to keep your wine from spilling all over the grass.

His tone is hushed and urgent, head turning to meet your eyes for no longer than the time it takes to utter a single word in reply.

“Harbingers.”

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yilingpatriarchscvnt · 8 months ago

Text

They were too late to get you back.

Warnings: mention of death, arguments, angst with no happy ending, neglected reader, jealousy.

Diluc x reader, Alhaitham x reader

"Never got the chance to apologize.."

DİLUC

Diluc and you were not the type of people who would fight often, been a relationship with him almost 4 years. Sure, everything is going well.

Well... it was going well. For the past 1 year everything changed for you and him. He barely came home, interact with you, ignoring you most of the time... and kept arguing, fighting over small things.

You never opened your mouth or fight back, you loved diluc so much that it was starting to hurt. Your shared room started to feel cold, no more morning kisses or hugs before diluc went to work, cold breakfasts and dinner all by yourself. Even if he did join the diner he would be quiet all the time, not even looking at you.

You did kept your mouth shut, holding for a hope... a hope for your future with him. Until you heard the conversation with Jean. The last knife that would break you.

"She's so useless, I cant keep up with her annoying presence all the time. All she do is stay at home and distract me from work... she keeps finding noneless things to argue with me. I just want to break the ties with her already, being with her is so tiring."

"Am I... that bad?" Who knew your dear lover was thinking of you like this for the past 1 year. All you wanted was too be like the past relationship you both had. Warm bed, morning kisses, happy breakfast and dates. Covering your mouth trying not to make any sound you left there sobbing quietly.

You did everything, I mean really everything. That all arguing was really nothing for him? You just asked for him to stay by yourside for more. You were slowly draining from inside, you had no one but diluc. Only his presence was keeping you sane but this cold mansion was making you crazy.

You returned back to the mansion, you had enough. Talking with him would go nowhere after all. You wanted his attention, you wanted him to see your worth. Going to the storage room picking up the sword once you held before moving in with your so called lover. Taking a mission from katheryne, you walked to the lawachurls camp.

You were going to show him that you are still worth for something, that you could help him with everything if he asked for it. Even if it meant death. Standing in front of the big creature holding your sword tightly you ran towards to it.

..Oh how wrong you were, thinking you could defeat that monster. Laying on a pool of blood coming from your head. Suddenly feeling peacefull for the first time after 1 year of suffering from neglect. Looking at the shining stars above you. Your head ringing from aches, sword a meter away. Faint screaming noises from back. You couldn't bother to look that way.

"Please..." a faint voice big hands caressing your cheek, weird it wasnt raining but you could feel wetness on your cheeks. Turning your eyes to the voice. Hands wiping away your blood.

"Diluc.." your throat dry, coughing the blood. Your beloved, your future. How could you hate him when he was the only one left in your life? İs this really how you were going to die? As a pathetic advanturer? Few tears sliding from your face as your blurry vision tried to capture every beauty on his face.

"Jean is coming here so... please... please dont leave me now..I wont neglect you anymore...I will beg on my knees once you recover... so dont leave me here all alone.." Ah... was he also holding a hope on his hands too? A future would be great with him. Your eyelids feeling heavy, heart beating slowly as the seconds passing, his voice becoming more and more faint.

"Sleep...Can I sleep in your arms?" Your head falling to his chest, inhaling the scent for the last time you missed for so long. Diluc holding your cold body close to him, screaming and crying cursing to the celestia as you drift away from him.

Alhaitham

Alhaitham was no bad guy, I mean if it is you, he actually is willing to do anything for you. He is sure workaholic, but you guys were making sure spending time.

You met him in akademiya when you guys were like 18-19. İt wasnt a love in first sight infact you hated him because he was a cocky man. He barely cared for any situtations, always one step ahead of you, teasing you even if other cant really understand his way of teasing. But overall because of kaveh you guys did get along sometimes.

Suprisingly he was the one who confessed with a valentines card, it was cute since he was shy about it and now its been 7 years.

Alhaitham is good at fighting so sometimes he takes dangerous missions other than being scribe and that worries you a little. You were just a researcher in akademiya so you cant always be with him. First time meeting with The Traveler your mind was at ease since they were with Alhaitham and helped him with secret missions in desert.

From 7 years to this day he is also not the type of person who really shows affection towards to someone but you, it made you feel speacial. But after all that archon saving missions he invites traveler to dinner, hanging out with her more and more. You told yourself that you were not jealous and its normal to hang out with people they like.

This became so often that you were feeling so neglected, you couldnt even talked about this with alhaitham since you felt like he wouldnt care about it.

You were in your room with kaveh, he was trying to finish his desings as you were staring at the ceiling. "Saw alhaitham with a woman today while coming here." Kaveh broke the silence. "Do you know her?" He turned to you.

"You mean the traveler?" You asked tilting your head. "Uhm no? Traveler left to fontaine almost 1 week ago..." he was cold sweating, your eyes widened from shock. Then who he was meeting up with for 1 week?

"Kaveh... tell me your joking?" You laughed. İt was probably one of the jokes he was making right? But he remained silent looking down. No you wouldnt believe it until you see it with your own eyes. "Y/N wait-"

You stormed off to the Sumeru City streets heart beating like crazy. You stopped 20 meter away from alhaitham, hiding in the corner. You saw him... his betrayal as he caressed another womans cheek. She was beautiful, long silky hair and shining eyes, thin and elegance body. Your eyes watering slowly as you watched him lean for a kiss.

You ran from there. As fast as you can, till your lungs gave up. Entering your shared home to pack things up, you looked at youself on the mirror. Hair that looked horrible, sleepy eyes, body that looked like a frog in your eyes. But her... she was beautiful unlike you. You cried for the first time after years, wiping your tears as you packed your things. Leaving your room with no trace of you.

Kaveh on the other hand, explaining alhaitham that you saw everything. Panic rising in him he ran to the shared house. Walking inside slowly, trying to hear if there were any noise. "Y/N? I.. I came home?" He shouted. Feeling weird like the house got colder and quiet. His heart still beating like crazy he rushed to your room only to be faced with a tidy bed, empty warddrobe and empty studying desk.

This was a cruel joke on him right? You were joking, pranking him to make him regret for not telling you sooner it was for a mission right? His hand covering his face as he falls on his knees calling out your name a few times before breaking down.

Looking around trying to find anything that belonged to you, walking inside the house he spotted a letter.

My beloved lover,

I had to leave our home because my heart was hurting too much. Sometimes, I saw things that made me scared—little moments that maybe meant nothing but felt big and heavy to me. I've always struggled with feeling good enough, and these fears made me feel even smaller.

Leaving wasn’t about anger; it was about being so overwhelmed by sadness that staying felt impossible. I never wanted to run away, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe I wasn’t what you needed.

I'm really sorry for any pain my leaving has caused. I hope one day we can understand each other better, but for now, I need some space to work through these feelings.

Take care,

[Your Name]

That was it, you left without giving a hint where you went. Guilt eating alhaitham up. For him you were perfect, you were everything he needed. Even your silence made him happy and peacefull. He was never good at showing his emotions and expressions but when you were with him he felt like he didnt need to force himself. You understood everything about him.

He lay down on your bed, a faint scent inhaling as he slightly squezzing the letter in his hand. Murmuring your name, begging to the teyvat to bring you back to him.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #reader angst #genshin angst #al haitam x reader #genshin diluc #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #angst with no comfort #mention of death #alhaitham angst #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham

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xxspringmelodyxx · 5 months ago

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"𝐻𝑜𝓌 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝐼 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊?"

┗━━━⊱ 𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑫𝒊𝒍𝒖𝒄 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒛𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑱𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ⊰━━━┛

⊱ 𝑰𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒔: 𝑫𝒊𝒍𝒖𝒄 𝑹𝒂𝒈𝒏𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒓 ⊰

✩⁺₊✩☽⋆Warnings: Angst ⋆☾✩⁺₊✩

𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒐 @𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓9 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕! 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 <3333

The wind howled through Mondstadt, its chill matching the cold void in your heart. The grand clock tower struck midnight, marking the end of another wedding anniversary spent alone. Diluc's duties at the tavern and his clandestine affairs with Jean had eclipsed the sanctity of your marriage for the last time. The final thread of your patience snapped, and with a resolute heart, you made the decision that the marriage was over.

Gathering your belongings and your young daughter, Lian, you embarked on a journey back to your roots in Liyue. The journey was long, but your determination to start anew fueled your every step.

---

As the carriage made its way through the familiar yet distant landscape, you couldn't help but reflect on the early days of your marriage with Diluc. You had met him during a diplomatic visit to Mondstadt, where his stoic charm and unwavering sense of duty had drawn you in. His passion for protecting Mondstadt and his dedication to his family's legacy resonated with your own values, and it wasn’t long before love blossomed between the two of you.

In the beginning, your marriage was filled with joy and promise. You supported Diluc in his endeavors, and he, in turn, was your steadfast rock. However, as the responsibilities of running the Dawn Winery and his secret vigilante activities consumed more of his time, the distance between you grew. Jean's presence in his life, initially a source of mutual respect and friendship, gradually morphed into something more insidious.

Despite your attempts to communicate your feelings and the need for more quality time together, Diluc's focus remained elsewhere. Anniversaries came and went, each one a painful reminder of what you had lost. The final straw was this latest anniversary, spent entirely alone, with nothing but a perfunctory note from Diluc apologizing for his absence.

---

With a heavy heart, you made the decision to leave. You packed only the essentials, not wanting to linger any longer than necessary. As you walked through the halls of the Dawn Winery one last time, memories of happier times flashed before your eyes. Lian, sensing your distress, clung to your side, her innocent questions about her father breaking your heart even more.

"Mommy, why isn't Daddy coming with us?" she asked, her wide eyes filled with confusion.

You knelt down to her level, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "Daddy has some important things to take care of, sweetheart. But we're going to see Grandma and Grandpa in Liyue. They'll be so happy to see you."

As you left Mondstadt, the weight of your decision settled heavily on your shoulders. You hoped that in Liyue, surrounded by the love and support of your family, you would find the strength to heal and rebuild your life.

---

Upon reaching the majestic gates of your family's mansion in Liyue, the familiar sight brought a flood of memories. The towering structure, with its intricate carvings and lush gardens, stood as a testament to the Lu Family's enduring legacy. The servants, upon recognizing you, bowed deeply and addressed you as 'Young Lady.' Their deference reminded you of your true standing, long obscured by the simplicity of life in Mondstadt.

"Mommy, why are they calling you 'Young Lady'?" Lian asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.

Taking her small hand in yours, you smiled softly and knelt to her level. "Because, Lian, we are from the Lu Family, the most prestigious family in Liyue. This is our home, and you are my precious daughter, the next in line to this legacy."

---

Your parents greeted you with open arms, their joy at seeing you and their granddaughter palpable. Your mother, with tears in her eyes, held you close. "We've missed you so much, my dear. Welcome home."

Your father, the patriarch of the Lu Family, stood tall and proud. His stern expression softened as he looked at you. "You've made the right choice coming back. This is where you belong."

Lian, overwhelmed by the attention and grandeur, clung to your side, her wide eyes taking in the opulent surroundings. You guided her through the mansion, showing her the rooms and gardens that had been your playground as a child. The familiarity of it all brought a sense of comfort and belonging that you hadn't felt in years.

---

Life at the Lu Family mansion was a stark contrast to the life you had known with Diluc. Surrounded by opulence and respect, you began to rediscover the strength and grace that had been dulled by years of neglect. You immersed yourself in family affairs, taking on responsibilities that had long been neglected in your absence.

Your parents, recognizing your need to reclaim your identity, involved you in the management of the family's businesses and social engagements. You attended meetings, hosted gatherings, and reconnected with old friends and allies. Each day, you felt a little more like the person you had been before Mondstadt, before Diluc, before the heartache.

Lian, too, thrived in this new environment. She made friends with the children of other noble families, and her laughter echoed through the halls of the mansion. Seeing her happiness, you knew you had made the right decision. This was the life you wanted for her, filled with love, support, and the security of family.

---

Meanwhile, Diluc remained ensnared in his affair with Jean, oblivious to the seismic shift that had occurred in your life. His days were consumed by the responsibilities of the Dawn Winery and his secretive vigilante activities, while his nights were filled with clandestine meetings with Jean. He had convinced himself that he was doing the right thing, that his actions were justified by his duty to protect Mondstadt.

But as days turned into weeks, the absence of your presence began to gnaw at him. The empty halls of the Dawn Winery, once filled with your laughter and warmth, now felt cold and lifeless. He found himself reaching for you in the night, only to be met with emptiness. Jean's company, once a source of comfort, now felt hollow and inadequate.

---

The turning point came when an ornate invitation arrived at the Dawn Winery. It was an invitation to the annual Lu Family banquet, a coveted event that drew the elite from across Teyvat. Curiosity piqued, Diluc decided to attend, unaware of the shock awaiting him.

The invitation was beautifully crafted, with golden script and intricate designs. It spoke of a grand celebration, honoring the Lu Family's legacy and welcoming the return of their beloved daughter. The significance of the event was not lost on Diluc, and despite his reservations, he knew he had to attend.

---

As the date of the banquet approached, Diluc found himself growing increasingly anxious. He couldn't shake the feeling that this event would be more than just a social gathering. He prepared meticulously, choosing his finest attire and ensuring that everything was in order at the Dawn Winery in his absence.

Jean, sensing his unease, tried to reassure him. "It's just a banquet, Diluc. You'll be fine."

But Diluc couldn't shake the nagging feeling that there was more at stake. The thought of seeing you again, after all that had happened, filled him with a mix of dread and longing. He knew that he had made mistakes, that he had taken you for granted, and now he would have to face the consequences.

---

The grand hall of the Lu Family mansion was resplendent with golden chandeliers and elegant tapestries. The air buzzed with conversations and the clinking of fine china. As Diluc entered, he was struck by the opulence and grandeur of the setting. The hall was filled with dignitaries and nobles, all dressed in their finest attire.

As the banquet reached its peak, the hall fell silent as the patriarch of the Lu Family, your father, took the stage. With a commanding presence, he addressed the assembly. "Today, I am honored to announce the return of my beloved daughter and my only heir. Please welcome her and her daughter, my granddaughter, Lian."

The crowd parted as you stepped forward, Lian by your side. Diluc's breath caught in his throat as he saw you, the woman he had neglected, standing with the dignity and grace of true nobility. Realization struck him like a thunderbolt.

As your father finished his speech, Diluc's legs gave way beneath him. He fell to his knees, tears brimming in his eyes. The weight of his mistakes crushed his spirit, and in that moment of clarity, he knew he had lost something irreplaceable.

"Please," he begged, his voice breaking. "Forgive me. I will end things with Jean. I promise. Just give me another chance."

You looked down at him, your heart a tumult of emotions. The power was now in your hands, and the future lay before you, filled with possibilities you had never dared to dream.

You looked into Diluc's eyes, searching for sincerity. "You hurt me deeply, Diluc. You made me feel invisible and unimportant. Why should I believe that things will be different now?"

Diluc's voice trembled with desperation. "Because I realize now what I have lost. I took you for granted, and I see now how much I need you in my life. Please, give me the chance to make things right."

The depth of his anguish mirrored your own, yet it felt like too little, too late. Your voice quivered with the weight of pent-up emotions. "Do you have any idea what it feels like to be abandoned by the person you love? To watch as they slowly drift away, knowing you're not enough to hold their attention?" Tears welled in your eyes, and you fought to keep them from spilling over. "Every day, I watched you slip further into Jean's arms, and every night, I cried myself to sleep, wondering what I did wrong."

Diluc flinched as if struck, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I was a fool," he whispered, voice breaking. "I let my responsibilities consume me, and I let my fears drive a wedge between us. But I've seen the truth now. Without you, my life is empty."

You shook your head, pain and anger warring within you. "How can I trust you again? You made promises before, Diluc. You vowed to love and cherish me, but those words became hollow. How do I know this isn't just another empty promise?"

He reached out, but you stepped back, creating a chasm between you that mirrored the emotional distance you'd felt for so long. "I understand your doubt," he said, his voice thick with remorse. "But I swear to you, I've changed. I've ended things with Jean. I’ve realized that I can't live without you and Lian."

The mention of your daughter brought fresh tears to your eyes. "Do you know how many times she's asked why her daddy isn't around? How many times I've had to lie and say you were busy because I couldn't bear to tell her the truth?"

Diluc's face crumpled, and he sank further into the ground, a broken man before you. "I'm so sorry," he choked out. "I've failed you both. But please, give me a chance to prove that I can be the husband and father you both deserve. I’ll do anything."

For a long moment, you stood there, the enormity of the decision pressing down on you. The pain he caused was a deep wound, but you also saw the sincerity in his eyes, the desperation in his plea. This was a man shattered by his own mistakes, begging for redemption.

"I need time," you finally whispered. "Time to heal, and time to see if your actions match your words. I won’t let you hurt me or Lian again."

Diluc nodded, tears streaming down his face. "Take all the time you need. I’ll wait. I’ll wait forever if that’s what it takes."

As you turned away, a flicker of hope sparked within you. It was a faint glimmer, buried beneath layers of hurt and betrayal, but it was there. Perhaps, just perhaps, there was a chance to rebuild what had been broken. But it would take more than words; it would take time, patience, and a genuine commitment to change. Only time would tell if Diluc could truly make things right.

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