#very funny to see me post my surreal work and people go

[corrodedparadox]

It’s always funny to me when I post a drawing in a different style I commonly use or whatever and people go “Omg you’re THAT artist?? I never connected the dots” and I’m like really, how did you not know, I feel like all the work I put out is pretty similar. And then I look at the difference between the fun art I make vs the bigger part pieces I make and it’s like.

Ok yeah I get it. That’s fair.

[velvetjune]

Alan Wake 2 Lake House DLC spoilers/review (also spoilers for Control):

Had a lot of fun with this DLC! It’s short (unfortunately expected this), but sweet, although I wish I didn’t watch the trailer for it. It would’ve been amazing experiencing this with no knowledge. As a massive Control fan, I was practically thriving off of all the reading and FBC style. I have some sympathy for fans of Alan Wake who might hate Control, but these games are far more than a crossover by now and moving forward. I can see how this wouldn’t work for people who dislike that.

Personally, Remedy has done well at connecting their stories without it clashing! The AWE dlc for Control was a mixed bag for me, mostly because the story wasn’t really there and the darkness mechanics were bland. This could be because I’m very biased towards Control, but this was a great example of how to merge the settings and traits of both games in an interesting way.

The marital and mad scientist drama was terrible in the best way. I was dying every time one of the Marmonts was “hmmm Wake says we’re going to die horrifically and become monsters, but im personally better than that.”

DR DARLING… <3 He should’ve had more appearances </3

After all the deserved hate directed at AI and producing content rather than art, it was heartwarming to see promotion for Poe. I don’t know the details, but she’s barely been able to release music over the last 20 years (some songs here and there), so having an entire area dedicated to her with links to a (fingers crossed) site about an upcoming Poe project was lovely. Lots of love put towards artists in this.

Ed being there was and thinking he was in an immersive experience was incredibly funny. I’d have to look it up, but was the manuscript page in his room detailing when he was taken HERE and not him dying to taken? Was this DLC happening during the start of aw2 or right before?

I’m in love with Kiran Estevez. She can be judgmental and tries to maintain a level of calm over the situation, but her disgust, fear, humor all shine through in funny ways. Hope that she, along with at least Saga, get to be in Control 2.

Only found this out after checking Reddit (which imo is too harsh over both Night Springs and this DLC), but apparently the Dylan part is skippable. It was SUCH a highlight of this DLC. The shifting environments, the Not-Oldest House, Dylan in the “panopticon” post-Control, etc. was surreal and captivating. Usually with set ups teasers, I don’t particularly care (e.g. the AWE dlc ending was alright!), but man. The way to get it was perfectly strange. Poor Dylan. Just like Control’s “hidden” ending cutscene, this really seems to put Control 2 in the wider NYC.

Having a “person who’s only seen Boss Baby” moment: thought of tma (the podcast) with the tapes, archives, panopticon, all the weird shit. It didn’t influence this game, but I was getting flashbacks to when I listened to it (stopped caring for it, but the first few seasons were fun in a creepypasta way)

I liked the calendar puzzles. I’m not a huge fan of puzzles in games, but these were easy enough to follow without dragging on. however I did spend five minutes confused just because I got Friday and Saturday mixed up :(

The boss fight was easy in story mode lol

Diana brutally killing the taken Jules was one of the only “gross” moments of Remedy’s games and it was great! It’s not much gore, but I’ll take it.

I accidentally pressed the option to instantly destroy (?) the painting :( So im so sorry to Rudolph and I’ll be replaying this dlc soon to see what the other option is.

For my problems, I was sad that the paint monsters were mainly annoying to run from (also they’re cute). I don’t know if it was an issue on my end or a bug, but even once I went to story mode, I still wasn’t finding healing objects until the last fight. The reason I switched to story was only because my low-ish health kept instant killing me by the Painted 😭 Maybe it’s because I haven’t replayed Alan Wake in a while, but this DLC was wildly difficult. If Remedy didn’t add a whole list of assists, I’d be more frustrated, but thankfully it’s there. The map also would keep question marks and loot up even when I interacted.

I prefer the Night Springs DLC, but this was a great look into Estevez, Control, and what art is. Now, Alan Wake 2 is officially done!

[not-goldy]

Hey Goldy! How are you? This is just super random, but someone shared a clip of Rosebowl Jikook, and can I just say how surreal it still feels that it actually happened? People were scrambling to explain that it was completely platonic, that it was an edit, that JK didn't suck JM's ear, that it was completely normal 🙄

I've heard about a certain clip where you could see a string of saliva, and yes, I saw it. Apparently, the big screen during the concert show you front and center when that happened and how you could literally see the string of saliva from JK's mouth to JM's ear. You could even see the sucking movement.

Imagine if Jikook have partners? Imagine seeing that and being okay w/ it?? And mind you, he did after towards the end of the concert, when they're sweaty and all.

People left and right, 24/7 camping on Jikook accounts writing long-ass essays and novels to say Jikook hate each other or whatever. You don't see us camping out on say tkk/yoonmin accounts to prove they're not real, don't you? I mean, sure, we correct misinformation when you're posting lies or manipulated clips for your non-existent ships (tkk/yoonmin/etc).

Even the companion system in the military still haunts these people until now. Suddenly, everyone is a fucking expert on Korean military?? If it was any other ship, I'm pretty sure we won't be hearing a thesis on why they're not together right now, how they're doing their things away from each other? Like, what happened to critical thinking and common sense? You'd think if Jimin and Jungkook didn't want to do their enlistment together, they wouldn't go through those damn hoops, including selecting the harshest division. They'd just do what everyone else did 😩

Do you think these uncultured and unloved people (haters/antis/toxic solos/tkkrs etc) would lose their mind even more once the Jikook travel show drops? Hope it drops this June 😭

If Jikook have partners they are the most non territorial non concerned non bothered group of people on the planet cos of if Jimin or Jungkook were mine I would have them quit their careers 😩

Like you can't be stressing me out with the constant dating rumors talking bout we just friends but you coming home every night with a hickey embarrassing me on the internet begging for a man's attention a man who looks like this by the way

Like where do I even begin to compete his ass is fatter than mine😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

You just friends but you out here having panick attacks when he puts you on voice mail

Boy didn't even eat the dinner I made him cos he's out there cooking for another man

He doesn't laugh at my jokes the way he does his and his jokes are not even funny 😤

In his spare time he's watching vlives of him with his fans and I swear I heard him call me Jimin one time when we were making love

I need a divorce. This is not working out

It's either me or him 😩

Mother fucker chose him 😩

I don't want to over sell the travel blog I'm very very curious about it but I know it won't disappoint.

And the way Jungkook had to come out here and tell us about the one moment makes it feel all the more sus to me

Feels like a preemptive strive so fans don't make a big deal out of them sharing a bed but baby boy WE WILL

It's jikook they send antis with into a frenzy with the barest minimum 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

I won't expect anything less from those numbnuts

[lemonxlimee]

I think that Victor Luigi blocked you for telling sm to kill themselves on haterblue, which is funny because he threatened to rip someone limb to limb for asking tree if they could adopt him

Im aware victorluigi blocked me lmfao, I've just accepted it at this point. He doesn't seem to understand that I also own @leafyztar, @bookache and whatever else he's been interacting with, though, lol

I hate hypocrites, but that's kind of strange (funny?) - he'll block me for saying "kys", in a joking manner, in character, to anon who probably would never see it anyway and probably wouldn't take it seriously either even if they did

(Before anyone asks, I am depressed, I am a survivor of a suicide attempt and my big sister killed herself three years ago; i think i'm allowed to poke a little fun at something that affects me, the same way people can reclaim slurs.)

; he wont unblock me no matter what, even though I publicly apologized twice; he still interacts with my other blogs, seemingly unaware that i also own them?

And then, he turns around and says shit like that, with apparently no repercussions or apology!? He drew the line at a very strange place, I must admit, and he is being quite immature.

You know, I'm kind of petty, I might block him back if I could, but I'm not sure how blocking works since I can still see his other blogs (surreal-leafy and the-silly-teardrop, both of which still int with me, and god knows how many others), but i think it is funny

Honestly, I did see the post in which he threatened to rip someone limb to limb. I thought it was horrible, hypocritical and disgusting how he could say something like that so casually with no punishment or apology, and yet he's so petty as to let me apologize TWICE and then still block me. I don't think he deserves to interact with me, and I think he should stay away from me for a little bit, but that's just me being uncomfortable.

I also think it's a little unfair. I believe it was immature and petty not to accept my (several) apologies, and do the same thing to somebody else as if they can't set the same back on him. When the situation happened, I shut down @haterblue for a week, and when I tried to reason with him, he shut me down. From what I can tell, his blog is still up and running, and he doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

Also, before he blocked me, he made a callout post for haterblue stating that he doesn't accept my apology. Then, something similar happened, and he made yet another callout post siccing his followers on someone who clearly didn't see what they did wrong-?? And when I, again, tried to reason with him, that's when he blocked me. I don't see why that's fair. Again, I think that was very immature of him, and he could stand to get a bit of scolding. But then again, that's just me being petty.

I'm also going to admit I notice he interacts with a lot of my best friend's roleplay blogs as well, being rude and making bad jokes, and refusing to back down when they ask him to stop. I don't like that. He's generally not a good person to me or the other blogs' mods, and I'm not sure why he's still here if he's just going to be rude and selfish.

I'm honestly not sure how to react. I'm not going to tell anyone to harass him, and I'm not trying to sic you guys on him, but I do think somebody needs to do something about this. I obviously can't, but it would be nice if he gets a little of what he puts on others.

And, if anyone is curious, here's the proof: sent to the Tree blog at some point in May

Thanks to @nettlebites for finding this for me!

Thanks to @soul-of-viburnum-blog for finding this for me!

[xerith-42]

My Street Stoner Headcanons

This is part 1 in a series of posts I wanna make about different characters in the Aphverse who partake in the devil's lettuce.

Important disclaimer, I don't really like My Street! It peaked with season 2, it's got a lot of problems from day one that remain problems in it's sixth season, they manage to have TWO beach SEASONS and neither one has someone who was easily one of the main characters of the series it was based on, and it really lost the plot. Like way faster than MCD did. But there is stuff to love about it.

I love the idea of My Street as it was initially promised. A slice of lice modern AU of MCD that is a SLICE OF LIFE. No grand stakes of the universe, nobody's getting blown up (unless it's for comedic effect), and nobody's dying. It's about a bunch of young adults, some of whom have known each other since high school or longer, all living on the same street together and the day to day shenanigans they get up to. So basically Season 3 but the entire series is like that. This is my very long winded way of saying that none of the "lore" of My Street matters to me and when you read my headcanons, know that I ignore the canon of My Street more than I ignore the canon of Minecraft Diaries. I don't care about the angels, I just want to get high with my friends.

Anyways wanna smoke some weed?

Blaze is the main weed dealer of My Street. Man has both an indoor and outdoor garden with multiple plants. He and the werewolf trio all live together and they actually help him out with his business sometimes. It's the main way Blaze pays rent on their place and also just a great side hustle. Like Blaze never has to worry about money, and he's constantly giving free stuff to his friends if they want it.

His first ever costumer in the friend group was actually Aaron. The two got high in High School like once when Aaron was inexplicably at Blaze's house. He's still not entirely sure how he got there to this day, the whole experience feels very surreal and liminal. But he remembers how freeing it was, how much stress he was able to let go of. So when college is kicking his ass, he hits up Blaze expecting to just like share half a blunt like they did before, and then they hotbox Blaze's dorm with a gravity bong.

If it wasn't already clear, Blaze is the top stoner of the entire My Street Universe. Some characters are definitely more frequent users than others (we'll get to Travis), but for Blaze, I mean... C'mon. His birthday is literally April 20th. He's the stoner friends to end all stoner friends but he also gets weirdly emotional with people when they're high and basically makes his friends process their shit every now and then by offering to get them high as a stress reliever. It all started with Aaron showing up in his door, getting baked enough to see God, and then randomly confessing that he was actually a werewolf the entire time. Even though. Blaze already knew that.

And then Aaron confesses it to Irena (C!Aphmau) while they're late night gaming. Like she mentions that Katelyn's room smelled funny when she went into it the other day and Aaron instantly jumps to "I've gotten high with Blaze before." So she tries it out of morbid curiosity, and while she enjoys it, she ultimately decides it's not something she wants to do on the regular. Maybe for celebrations of like finishing a semester of college or finally getting that fucking promotion.

Katelyn definitely smokes it the most when she's living with Irena and Nana. Not having a solid job for a few months really fucked with her stress levels, even if she managed to make it work cause her roommates are awesome. But, she'll only do it outside or in her room and then instantly light a candle to clear out the smell, but they both eventually figure it out. Nana literally walks in on Katelyn lighting a blunt in her room when she's just trying to ask Katelyn what she wants on her pizza. There's a pause, Katelyn answers, and then Nana gives her a thumbs up and leaves.

The next morning Katelyn opens up the fridge and finds a small tray of brownies with her name written on the post-it note slapped onto them. Another note reads "For when you want to be subtle about it ;)"

Nana learned that she could put weed into butter and therefore she could make edibles from one of her sisters randomly showing up in town, dropping a bunch of life lessons and also useless bull shit on her, and then leaving and never elaborating. And the thing Nana mainly got from it is to make her own edibles because it's way cheaper than buying them. Nana doesn't smoke because she has asthma so this is like game changing for her.

She doesn't realize that she even has a chance to know who her dealer is because she's super paranoid about buying it. So she like goes through all these extra steps to hide it and hide her privacy and Blaze literally knows what she smells like and knows who she is, but he gets that people can be hesitant for others to know. Just strange that she's getting all weird about it when he and Katelyn were just hot boxing his car when she texted him.

Most characters have an experience like this. Trying it out for the first time, usually with Blaze or on their own, trying to hide it, only to stumble upon one of their roommates high as balls watching Lord of The Rings at 3 am and realize they're all a bunch of pothead losers and that's fine.

Blaze knows all. Like, he has heard everything. People feel randomly prompted to just start telling him stories from their childhood, confessing in the way of like "haha you wanna know something funny I never told anybody?" and then Laurance confesses he's been in love with Garroth since they were freshman. Or Zane confesses to really liking My Little Pony. Or Dante reveals that he's questioning his gender identity. Blaze just knows all these people on deeper levels than most of them realize if they don't frequently hang out with him.

And if they do, then they know that Blaze is no low level just grows for his friends and accepts tips. No, he's a full blown dealer. he's really strict about rules of wherever he lives, especially when he started dealing to raise money so he could pay tuition at PDH, he didn't want it effecting his family at all. and Blaze can literally chuck you through a window so it's hard for anyone to really pressure him into doing stuff he doesn't want to do. And all he wants to do is grow quality product for everyone to enjoy.

It's why his friends don't mind helping him out sometimes. Like Laurance comes over to his house to ask if he can use Blaze's three foot bong so he gets high enough his body stops cramping, but when he gets there Blaze has some classic rock on and he's just packaging orders and Laurance sits down at the table and joins him.

And while hanging out with Blaze, he always has just the most random wack ass stories. He meets so many strange people in the world, he travels a lot because he's technically unemployed, and he has the wildest adventures that people love hearing about.

Travis and Dante's house always smells different. If they're expecting company they'll use some kind of air fresher, or light candles or incense, or do something to get rid of the smell. But if they have nothing going on? If Travis is on break from classes to get his masters and Dante has the weekend off of work? That house is going to fucking reek for three days. They always take care of it eventually, but when they go on what they jokingly call their benders, they don't bother.

Due to this most people would assume one of the two of them is the biggest stoner on My Street (that isn't Blaze). Or maybe Katelyn and Nana. It's actually Vylad. He's just really good at hiding it.

Vylad got insane stoner rng and is able to be tripping balls and have no visual effect on his eyes. Like maybe they look tired, but they aren't bloodshot, even while he's sitting in a freshly hotboxed room. So Vylad likes hiding it because it confuses his friends and that's just always fun to do.

Despite being so judgemental, Zane oddly never makes any comment about this. If someone's room smells funny or Nana slips a special kind of butter into a batch of cupcakes and insists those are her batch, he doesn't say anything. It's not clear whether he's chill with it or not? Both his brothers smoke, even if Garroth is more infrequent about it, so maybe it's becuase of them? But even then he'll get upset at someone for something but not upset at his brothers when they do the same thing so??

Garroth asks Blaze if Zane smokes one day, and Blaze is just in shock because "You didn't know? Why do you think he wears the mask?" "Because he has facial dysphoria?" "Well, that, and because he can take a sneaky hit from his vape when no one's looking."

Zane has never forgiven Blaze for revealing his secret because now Vylad and Garroth keep asking him for hits.

If you have any specific MS characters that I didn't mention in here, or more in depth headcanons, feel free to send me an ask! I have. A lot. Of these.

[silentwillowwhisperer]

Keith and Allura are still my favorite bestie pair.

Mkay, hi! This post is kinda sorta in continuation to another post I wrote.

You don't really have to read the other one to understand this, but it's a similar idea.

Big thanks to @haunted-glassesgurl who gave me the idea for this, go check out her account, she writes thing occasionally.

Waiiiit. Our convo was kinda long. Am I gonna be here for like forever?

-------------------------------------------

Keith is in Allura's room yet again, this time with the princess sitting elegantly in front of him while he paints her.

For some reason, no matter where she is, the light always seems to hit her just right, and she always looks so effortlessly perfect. It makes her the perfect painting subject, her surreal beauty is quite literally alien to Keith.

But he knows that she's also caring and funny. It's hard to take someone seriously when you've watched the them snort like a pig because she was trying not to choke on food goo while watching Keith do a handstand on top of a ten foot tall bookshelf while singing House of Memories at the top of his lungs. It's a long story.

Anyway, he finishes and shows her his latest work. He's painted things for her dozens of times, and she always looks amazed.

She stands abruptly after glancing at the portrait for a couple seconds. Keith does not fall of the bed in surprise, shut up Allura.

"Keith Kogane of planet Earth, I name you the Official Royal Painter."

She says it with a teasing glint in her eye, but Keith looks shocked anyway.

"Really?" His eyes are starry with disbelief and happiness.

Of course, Allura had not been serious when she said that, but she had forgotten that Keith is a very angsty socially deprived child, and therefore cannot tell when someone is joking.

But how can Allura admit that to Keith when he looks like this? It's not possible! His way-to-adorable-for-his-own-good-kitten-puppy-eyes are on full force.

So now, when Keith is super stressed, he drags Allura into one of their rooms and just paints her for hours. She isn't exactly fond of sitting still for that long, but anything is better than seeing her best friend overwork himself to the point at which he regularly has to spend his nights in a healing pod in order to function.

And, sure, to anyone else it would seem like Keith is a creepy stalker who has nothing better to do than make artworks of Allura and stash them all over his room, but who cares? It's not like anyone will be snooping in there.

-

Lance realizes too late that he shouldn't be snooping in Keith's room.

It's not his fault! Keith had left the door to his room open for once, and how can anyone resist taking a peek in their crush's room?

So, really, Lance blames Keith entirely for his heart shattering into a million pieces.

He had decided to take a look in Keith's closet and see if the guy actually owns anything other than that stupidly short jacket. (How does it even provide Keith with warmth? It covers like 25% of his chest. Is he just a natural furnace??? Does he even take it off when he sleeps or is he just that committed to wearing overly cropped clothing and messing with Lance's weak heart?)

What he finds is painting after painting of Allura. Sure, she's pretty, but this is like an obnoxious amount of portraits.

Before, Lance had hoped and wished and thought that maybe, just maybe Keith might return Lance's feelings.

But now there is no doubt, Keith has a crush on Allura.

-

Keith can't deal with this right now.

He has already had a stressful week, and now his crush is aggressively flirting with his friend.

Allura just laughs it off every time, but to Keith, it just drives the knife further into his tragic, gay heart every time Lance says something cheesy or winks in Allura's direction.

Why are all the best people so painfully STRAIGHT?

Keith can't decide if he wants to punch or kiss Lance's stupid face.

At this point, it shouldn't bother Keith. He's watched the energetic boy flirt with absolutely anything, (seriously. Keith once walked in on Lance practicing puck-up lines on a trash can with a sharpied face and bikini on it) but for some reason, he can't stop feeling his feelings.

So now, instead of being mature about this, he's ignoring Lance. Shiro keeps looking at him and shaking his head every fifteen seconds, but if Lance is gonna be an unintentional douchebag, then Keith is allowed to be petty.

Their old rivalry is back, an Keith can't help the tightening in his gut when he realizes that he and Lance are drifting apart once again.

-

Allura is very close to strangling someone.

Honestly! Keith and Lance both clearly like each other, and yet they’re both set on restarting this silly rivalry of theirs.

If Lance says ‘Keith and Lance neck and neck’ one more time, Allura will have his neck.

She’s tried being subtle. She has dropped so many hints that everyone on the ship has figured those two out by now.

And now she’s done. Those idiots are going to kiss each other, and they are going to enjoy it, because Allura has put way to much effort into them.

After dinner that night, Allura grabs Lance by the collar and drags him onto a deserted hallway.

He yelps and complains until he meets her icy glare.

Allura has never shut someone up so quick, and it satisfies her greatly.

“Listen up Lonce. Not only have been flirting with me shamelessly for months, but you’re also failing to see what’s right in front of you. I don’t know about you, but the look Keith gives you every time you dismiss him breaks my heart. So, if you don’t fancy being ejected into space right now, you will go confess to that boy and kiss him like you mean it.”

Lance blinks at her in shock before responding.

“But- the paintings! And he’s in your room a-all the time!” he splutters.

Allura drags her perfectly manicured hand down her face with a groan.

“Well excuse me for being a good subject for his art. If you haven’t noticed, we’re friends, and that’s it. Now shut your trap and go find him.”

The next day, Allura almost combusts when the pair walks into the kitchen bickering. That is, until she notices their find smiles and tangled fingers.

[chubbening]

OH MY GOD OKAY HEY so me and a popular artist friend who shall not be named recently got into your fic Calories and Kink and IT IS SO HOT AND SUCH A HUGE INSPIRATION!!!! I literally started my own fic bc of it and I'm trying so hard to do my own things based on my own tastes and not lift too much inspiration xD

I just wanted to ask if any of your characters (Alexa, Reggie, or anyone else) has references? We may or may not be doing gay fanart for your adorable fat lesbian comfort fic.

Also I was stoked to find you're trans (us too)!!! Happy for you, also just learned you're a system!!! You both rock, keep up the good work, you got some real fans here :D

I think you just broke Ava's part of the brain lmao (she'll be fine) but thank you so so so much!! We've gotten so much lovely feedback on this story, and it means so much to us that what started as a kinky little side project has so engaged folks in our corner of the internet <3 Best of luck with your fic! One thing about writing is no one else is gonna do it like you, so even if you take inspiration, it'll still be your own.

It's funny you ask about references, because we've been thinking about commissioning some art for a while, just haven't gotten around to it (*coughcough* $$$). So like, we don't have ref sheets or anything. But (speaking of lifting inspiration) Reggie was originally inspired by one of NekoCrispy's characters, Astrid. Specifically the energy of this piece sparked something. Obviously we made Reggie a maned wolf and very much our own character, but we still think of her shape as similar to Astrid's (while compensating for NekoCrispy's more stylized hips), but 6' tall and with bigger arms ;)

For Alexa, shape- and vibe-wise, we go to https://www.tumblr.com/littlestpigletann. She's been posting since she was a lot smaller, so it's handy to dig back (on various platforms) and get a sense of Alexa at various points in the story. Although, Alexa's probably a bit lankier than Ann, who if I remember is 5'1" (Alexa's 5'6").

Feel free to DM us with any questions (about this stuff or w/e), we love chatting with folks! Honestly feels surreal to have people calling themselves fans and talking about doing art of something we created, like… Obviously no pressure to follow through, but we'd love to see what y'all come up with!!

Woo, trans! Honestly if we had a do-over, the one thing we'd change is making one or both of the MCs trans. We were just at a weird place with our dysphoria when we started writing it, and by the time we got comfier with things, there wasn't enough support in the story to retcon that. That's probably why we started doing more with Ash, tbh.

Okay, last anecdote here, the system thing is so funny in relation to Calories & Kink, because we didn't know we were plural when we wrote most of it, but we 1000% wrote Alexa and Reggie as individual self-inserts. When one of our partners started reading it, she compared us (still unaware) to Reggie because I fronted more during sex, but Ava, the more frequent fronter at the time, was like, "What? No, I'm way more like Alexa."

Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this message <3 We'll be giddy all day now ^^

Promise we'll work on the last few chapters soon--we really do want to give this thing a proper ending.

Take care,

Seija

[leprosycock]

do u have any fav book recs!???? love ur literary mind and would love to know if u have any good must reads sorry this is random

thank you!! i don't read nearly as often as i should but i have a lot of books that i love:

the furry trap by josh simmons is a wildly weird, disgusting, and obscene piece of work that i've loved for years. it's satirical and deranged and very darkly funny and his style is so unique. it's a collection of eleven short comics and some standalone illustrations. my favorites are cock bone, christmas eve, and demonwood, but none of them are bad. at least in my opinion. a lot of people think it's just edgy for edgy's sake, but even if it is, it's still really fucking good. i always find that criticism to be so funny because it's only ever flung at media with any kind of sex and violence and taboos in it.

tender is the flesh by agustina bazterrica is one that a lot of people are familiar with, but it's far from overrated. it's about a world in which cannibalism is legal and humans are bred, bought, and sold for meat. a very lonely, broken, divorced blue-collar man begins to form a bond with a specimen despite any physical contact with her being expressly forbidden. it's twisted and stomach-churning and intimate and i love it.

poison for breakfast by lemony snicket is insanely funny and tender and witty and entertaining. it's essentially an unreliable autobiography that follows strings of consciousness and memories and musings as he panics after getting a note under his door that tells him he had poison for breakfast. it's short and sweet and there are so many wonderful poignant lines throughout it that made me close the book for a second and think for a while.

the wasp factory by iain banks is awesome and it's about a sixteen year old boy named frank with a very fragile older brother who's been sent to a psych ward. frank is ruthlessly violent and unstable and he takes all his anger and frustration and bloodlust out on helpless animals, either human or non. it has a really interesting ambiance to it that traps you in both this violent teenager's headspace and this murky, unsettling little scottish village and things just get worse and worse until you realize you can't get out. highly recommend!

someone who will love you in all your damaged glory by raphael bob-waksberg is a fantastic collection of surreal/sci-fi-based stories that have one foot firmly grounded in realism and very human relationships. it's very vulnerable and tender and tragic and romantic. this is the same author who created bojack horseman, so if you're into that show's brand of drama, you'll really love this

i hope you find me: the love poems of craigslist's missed connections by alan feuer is one of my most favorite little coffee table books ever. it's what it says on the tin: dozens of posts from the missed connections section of craigslist are compiled and wrangled into individual poems and it's really fascinating and it makes my heart ache to see all these very real little individual cases of lost love. i think it's really important to study real people just as much as stories that people can craft.

i luv halloween by benjamin roman and keith giffen is a HIGHLY underrated, EXTREMELY early 00s trilogy about zombies, aliens, and a group of really shitty, violent, obnoxious children who get stuck in the midst of global panic around halloween. it's super edgy and indulgent and gory and gross and childish and it's a whole lotta fun. i go crazy for the art style and the general mindless self indulgence of it all

memories of my melancholy whores (memoria de mis putas tristes) by gabriel garcia marquez is a really lovely and flowery novelette about a ninety year old man who's on his deathbed and he believes that true love will help him feel alive again. he manages to find it in a very young prostitute and reflects on what sets her apart from the others. a lot of people call it the spanish lolita, but it's wildly different. really the only similarities are falling in love with a young girl and realizing she's different than you envisioned her to be at first. it's not for everyone, but i think marquez's prose is beautiful. pretty much everything in his bibliography is worth checking out, he's a genius

holy robots by vasilina orlova is a stunning collection of poetry and it uses the ideas of humans falling in love with and forming lives with machines that try very hard to be human but can't quite do it to illustrate real-world relationship struggles. it also delves into other themes of nature and pure romance as it goes along. it's a quick read and it's so worth checking out, i love it to death

arkham asylum: a serious house on serious earth by grant morrison and dave mckean is a standalone batman comic that's VERY worth reading even if you only have a passive knowledge of batman. it's a beautiful piece of work all on its own. the art style is absolutely fucking gorgeous and it's unlike anything i've ever seen. essentially, the inmates at arkham have overtaken the asylum and batman has to sacrifice himself in order to save the hostages. thus, he subjects himself to brutal psychological torture at the hands of the criminals he's put in the asylum himself and he wastes away little by little. it's good!! it's so good!!!!!

stray toasters by bill sienkiewicz is one of the most intense, gorgeous, twisted, and surreal experiences i've ever had while reading a graphic novel. it might take you a couple of reads for it to really sink in because it's not at all straightforward, but it's a fucking masterpiece of art and writing and it really influenced a lot of my own work and the way i tend to approach art. essentially, it's about a lonely, burnt-out detective who gets released from a psych ward to hunt down a serial killer who's mutilating housewives and young children. it's insanely difficult to find physical copies of, so i would personally just read it online.

[emiliasilverova]

[FIC] Achillean Delights

So. I didn't post anything here for the last two days, trying so hard to finish this fic... and just as I'm ready to post, AO3 is DDoSed by greedy arseholes who like neither smut nor LGBTQ+ content.

How ironic.

Ain't nobody stop me from posting shameless LGBTQ+ smut, and you from being able to read it. I did create a Dreamwidth (that I'll likely use to backup my AO3) but I'm too lazy to set it up for now... therefore, see you under the cut for the fic in question (both for length and spice 🌶️).

Before anything, my memory is good enough to remember exactly how I tagged this fic, so there you go:

Title: Achillean Delights Chapters: 1/1  Fandom: GoldenEye (1995), James Bond - All Media Types  Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply  Relationships: James Bond/Alec Trevelyan  Characters: James Bond, Alec Trevelyan  Additional Tags: One Shot, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Shameless Smut, Banter, Oral Sex, First Time Blowjobs, Edging, Power Play, Boys Being Boys, Decadence, Developing Relationship, James Bond Is Good At Sex, Shameless James Bond, Alec Is A Spoiled Brat, They Shared Everything, MI6 Cafe 007 Fest 2023, Community: MI6 Cafe | mi6_cafe  Word Count: 1529 Summary:

Alec spends a lovely, lively time in James's expert hands—not to mention, expert mouth.

As always do give some love to @samanthahirr for the lovely beta ♥️ Some edits she made here are especially *chef kiss*

And now, do enjoy the fic, hehe.

***

Is Alec the victor or the vanquished in this moment? Hell if he knows. All he feels is the supreme pleasure shrouding him whole—sending warm waves through his body, robbing him of any articulate thought.

He’s splayed on a velvety armchair, one of his favourites among the many antiques he owns. All he wears is a wide open shirt; the way it exposes his chest paints an even more indecent picture than if he were naked from head to toe. His bare legs are parted wide; one of his hands curls into short, thick dark hair. Wet sounds and heavy breathing fill the air, their obscenity a heady aphrodisiac.

This is the most exceptional blowjob Alec has ever received, no question about it. He could stay like this forever—head empty, cock surrounded by warm, luscious lips. Very talented lips, of course; Alec wouldn't settle for any less. Or would he? On second thought, skill alone has never made him quite so intoxicated. Perhaps, then, the defining factor isn’t what, but rather whom he’s surrendering himself to.

Case in point, James Bond.

The sight is mesmerising, almost surreal to Alec. James bobbing his head up and down, catching some air and getting right back to work… all with genuine, communicative enthusiasm. James, of all people. The friend, the rival Alec has known for more years than he’d care to count. The man he thought he’d never fuck outside of his most outrageous fantasies, here in the flesh.

Not so long ago, Alec would’ve refused to believe that James could get on his knees of his own accord—let alone with such absolute confidence. Yet there he is, giving a bravura performance as if it were nothing. 

Warmth, wetness, pressure… they're all applied to perfection. Alec can't help but dip his head back and close his eyes, clawing at his own chest to suppress a moan. What little control he has over James or himself quickly dissolves as he drifts off into sweet abandon. Right where he wants to be; dangerously exposed, but in the safest of hands. 

Without warning, James marks a pause in his ministrations. Alec springs back to alertness, but his muscles aren't as quick to engage. All he can do is watch as his long cock drops from James’s mouth. It feels heavy as it rests in the unbearable cold, a deeper shade of red than just a minute ago. 

“What’s so funny?” Alec breathes, catching the hint of derision in James’s oh-so-tantalising grey eyes.

James stands up and takes hold of the shaft’s upper half. When he gives it a gentle squeeze, a glistening bead of precome appears at the tip. “I never figured you were so messy.”

Too languid to fight back, Alec squints. “Good thing you’re here to clean the mess, then, isn't it?”

“Is that all I'm here for?” 

Now James strokes with just his fingertips—too softly to give Alec what he wants, but enough to keep him hard and aching for more. An unacceptable ordeal. Alec’s first instinct is to thrust his hips upwards for more stimulation… but James removes his hand at once. The bastard.

“Your mouth, James,” Alec hisses.

“Good things come to those who wait.”

“Oh, spare me the aphorisms, damn you.”

Alec lunges to pull James’s hair. Less of a dirty move than leaving him high and dry, in his mind. James catches his wrist before he can succeed and drives him back into his seat. Then James bends, inching his face closer and closer. Alec could use his free hand to force it down, but decides to hold James’s cheek instead. Their lips touch; soon enough, they lock into a passionate kiss.

Tasting himself on James’s tongue isn't as intimidating as Alec expected. In fact, it dissipates the last inhibitions he was clinging to. He shifts and captures James’s lower lip, resolute to take the lead. James lets him have his way, but still provides a little resistance to spur on Alec's ardour. The battle ends when they both run out of breath, bringing them to a brief standstill. 

“James…” 

Alec’s whisper is very much a plea at this point. In response, James cups Alec’s face and gazes into his eyes. James’s hands are warm and soothing, his smile tender—although somewhat inscrutable. What’s on his mind exactly? The relish of having Alec at his total mercy? Knowing his insufferable ego, that’s got to be it.

Feigning to go for another kiss, Alec moves his head forward… and bites the lip offered to him. Not so hard as to draw blood, but still making James recoil in surprise.

“Rude, positively rude,” James says, his tone half-disapproving, half-amused as he brings his fingers to his mouth.

It’s Alec’s turn to grin now, full of mischievous defiance. “Keep me waiting any longer, and I’ll be just as rude as you deserve.”

James snorts. The mischief proves contagious; even as he finally kneels down again, he can’t be bothered to hurry up. He doesn’t return to what’s expected of him, either. Alec moves to prod him along, but is caught short by the latest weapon from James’s arsenal—kisses to the inside of his thigh. 

The novel sensation gets the better of Alec, who slumps back into his seat. James jumps at the opportunity for petty revenge and sinks his teeth right into the delicate skin. The infuriating man knows exactly what he’s doing, applying just the right amount of bite to set his victim’s blood ablaze. 

Without realising, Alec caresses himself again. As his other thigh is given equal attention, his wandering hand finds his own erect nipple. He flicks it greedily, his delight too strong for the remnants of his self-consciousness to put up a fight. 

James’s lips on his balls send a jolt through Alec’s body. His toes curl, his hands no longer know where to go; back to his chest, onto the armrests, or into the shiny, crow-black hair—James’s greatest vanity. James licks and lightly pulls, and Alec submits. The all-consuming pleasure almost sends him over the edge, but he manages to hold back. There is no way he’ll let himself be robbed of his climax in James’s mouth, however deep under James’s spell he may get.

When it becomes clear that James’s next target is his swollen tip, Alec’s heart pounds. The moment he’s been yearning for is imminent… or would be, if James would stop teasing him for once in his godforsaken life. Instead, James laps up the slow, thin trickle at the slit, pushing Alec to feverish levels of anticipation. 

“James, for fuck’s sake—”

At last, the wet heat of James’s mouth engulfs his pin-straight cock. Alec lets out a long, uncontrolled moan as intense relief washes over him. He should be livid at how James made him beg for it a second time, but he doesn’t care anymore. This is what he wants, and James is giving it to him… anything else is irrelevant.

The fuse already burns bright within him, lit up by the fast, thorough suction up and down his length. Fingers roll his balls, while others form a tight ring around the base of his shaft, friction eased by a generous coating of precome and saliva. Alec squirms in his armchair, his breath ragged. He tries to keep up with such fervent worship as long as he can, but he knows the inevitable is upon him. 

When Alec sits up and starts pushing down on his head, James doesn’t flinch. Good boy. He keeps sucking in earnest, relentless and undaunted. As the irresistible pressure builds up, Alec’s muscles contract. This is both too much and not enough. He groans and mumbles incoherently—euphoric from being at the centre of the universe, light-headed from being so close. So very close…

Alec cries out, swept away by the force of his orgasm. James firmly holds onto his shaking thighs, but doesn’t remove his mouth as Alec fills it with warm come. Alec’s cock keeps pulsing for a few seconds, as long as it takes to release so many years’ worth of longing. There is nothing left on his mind during this incredible high… save for complete, unadulterated satisfaction.

James lets go, and Alec collapses, panting. Numbing weakness takes hold of him as he basks in the afterglow. After some time, he manages to half-open his eyes again—only to be greeted by the most handsome sight he’s ever witnessed. James looking at him with a sly smile, his sun-kissed skin shining with a thin sheen of sweat, dishevelled and untidy. Alec wants to kiss him hard, to mark him as his conquest… but that would have to wait until he can move again. For now, all he can do is smile back.

In response, James bends over him again. Alec expects a kiss, but he couldn’t be more wrong. James takes his softening cock as deep as he can, puckers his lips tight and slides off in one expert motion. He gives a few more licks to leave Alec impeccably clean, and swallows.

Alec cannot believe his eyes. “Good lord, James.”

James chuckles, shameless. Then, in his most suave tone, he answers, “I aim to please.”

[philhoffman]

In lieu of a Monday Philm post tonight, I wanted to tell y'all about the long weekend I had in Western New York. I took a very special trip up to Phil's hometown of Rochester, NY, for a special 35mm screening of Owning Mahowny—which ended up being one of the best nights of my life. TL;DR I met his family and got to tell them how much he is loved ❤️

As some of you might know, the Eastman Museum in Rochester is now the permanent home of PSH's statue, and to celebrate, the museum's Dryden Theatre is showing his films all year long. I've been dying to see Phil's hometown and especially the statue since it was unveiled last year and finally made it (many hours and several hundred miles in the rain) up to WNY for a couple days. Y'all I can't even tell you how excited I was just to be in Rochester, like geeking over everything. We visited Fairport, where Phil grew up, and went to a restaurant with a burger named after him (yum), and got his fave kind of donuts at the Wegmans where he worked as a cashier in high school (I told you, geeking HARD). It's such a nice, friendly city and so many little things about Phil clicked just being there.

We went to the Eastman Museum first thing Saturday morning to see his statue and it's so perfect. Yes I cried a little bit as soon as I walked up to it! I don't need to tell y'all how much Phil means to me and finally seeing this public tribute to him, which looks so good and is so approachable and huggable and real and lovely, was amazing. Passed it four times going in and out of the museum and made my mom take my photo with him every time :-)

That night was the 35mm screening of Owning Mahowny. Already one of my favorite PSH films, I recently finished the book it's based on—No Limit: The Incredible Obsession of Brian Molony by Gary Ross—which is just as engrossing and made me even more excited to rewatch the film on the big screen. We were the first people to the theater bc I was so anxious to be there lmao.

I recognized Phil's mother, Marilyn, and his older sister, Jill, who arrived about 20 minutes before the film and sat a few seats away. My anxiety was through the ROOF—I am very shy in person, but I knew I'd regret it if I didn't say anything and since this was a PSH-related event I figured they probably wouldn't mind if I brought him up. Thanks to Phil I have a hundred times more confidence than I did just a few years ago, so I worked up my courage and went over to introduce myself, tell them my name and how far I came just to see the statue and the film, how much I admire Phil and his work.

Y'all I'm tearing up again just typing this because they were the nicest people I have ever met in my life, seriously. His mom and his sister were immediately so kind that my nerves melted away, it was like talking to friends. They were touched that I'd come so far, they thanked ME for coming over to say hello. I shook their hands and we had a whole conversation for several minutes—I got to tell them that Phil changed my life, how I've seen all of his films, the ways he's inspired me to make my own art. I can't even believe I am writing this because it was so surreal and incredible. They asked me so much about my trip and myself, which is cute because I've heard so many stories about how Phil always asked people about themselves, their lives, their families, their work. His mom asked if I'd seen the statue (of course!!!) and told me to make sure I took a selfie with him :''''') so obviously I took another one when we left <3

Jill and I talked about Owning Mahowny and gambling while my mom talked to Phil's mom (like how is it even real that I'm saying that?), then Marilyn told a funny, sweet story about when Phil was filming Mahowny in Toronto in 2002. One day he called and asked to come home for a while, then drove down and spent the day with her watching hours of dailies of the same exact shot, scrutinizing each take and laboriously trying to decide on the best one—and his mom was like, "Phil, what are we searching for, these all look the same to me" LMAO 😭

The film itself was obviously amazing, no need for a full review here. Equally wonderful to share it with a big audience laughing, cringing, gasping, crying, smiling. The 35mm print looked beautiful. As we were leaving, Phil's sister made a point to catch my eye and thank me again for stopping to say hello! We said goodbye to her and Marilyn and they wished us a great rest of our trip to Niagara Falls the next day—it was so sweet they remembered I'd even mentioned it.

I hardly slept that night I was so excited lol. It's been two days and it still feels surreal. I'm repeating myself but I can't get over how warm and kind they both were, how we were all kind of moved almost to the point of tears talking about their beautiful son and brother, my hero, the artist and man who saved my life and brought us all together. I'm so so so grateful for the opportunity to tell them what Phil means to me. Since then I've had a million thoughts like "oh I wish I'd said this or that," but really it would be impossible to sum up in words, even if we had all the time in the world, everything I want to say. I said it before but it's easy to understand how Phil turned out to be such an amazing person, coming from a family like that.

One of the simplest yet most meaningful couple of days in my whole life. It was better than I could've hoped for. Mostly joy—and while there was some grieving and missing him, too, I know it all came from love. I feel closer to Phil than ever. Thank you for making me feel so welcome in your home, Phil. Words are never enough but I love you so much, we're all so proud of you.

[donnyclaws]

Your last post I get what you're saying, but also I feel like I cannot say that either because it's your very own personal project

I've got the same stuff going on with a story so dear to me as I projected so much unchecked mental illness/traumas and showing snippets of it to the world would feel like me being naked in public, I just can't describe it but I feel comfort in seeing someone having something similar to what I feel with my own oc's

They're like funny guys you one day made out of impulse but not they're following you for life their story grow as yourself grow too, the odd writer struggle stuff

But anyways I love your work, been following you for years and I Gen love how your art just gets more lively every year, in a way that it looks like you're taking more control of it?? I don't know, but I can just feel that you're more confident than before with your newer work and I think it's beautiful to see such raw art around. Always brings me a smile to see it on my tl

(In reference to my post about formatting tiger crawl home as a story, I let this one sit for a MINUTE)

I'm always glad to hear other people having a similar brain guys. It's complicated but also very passionate and comforting and interesting and raw. And yeah god having their growth tied to yours is so surreal, I dont know how to write my characters recovering, I'm stuck and progressing in ways that leaves them also stuck and progressing. They're living things and not a direct story with resolution. Yk yk

Anyway thank you so much, I'm really really happy with the direction of my art in the last few years, hyped to get weirder and cooler and more empassioned about everything.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

So I’ve decided for absolutely no reason whatsoever that today would be a good day to look up this Sam Campbell person. I knew almost nothing about him, except a bit on his reputation. Last month I saw a picture from the 2023 Melbourne Comedy Festival, and I spent so long trying to identify the guy next to Tim Key, because I was so sure I knew who he was. I asked about it here, someone told me it’s Sam Campbell; I only vaguely recognized that name, but definitely did not know what that guy looked like, which confirmed that I did not actually recognize him. I only thought I recognized him because he looks exactly like a teammate of mine from university.

I have since then matched that name to the reputation that I did, in fact, vaguely know. To list the things I knew about him without Googling anything whatsoever: Is Australian. Looks like my old teammate. Won the Melbourne award that used to be named Barry and I think maybe isn’t anymore but also maybe still is, I think named after the Dame Edna comedian who died recently, and that seems to be a big deal. Also won the award that used to be called the Perrier and definitely isn’t anymore but because I have spent so much time going through Edinburgh comedy from the 00s I think I’m going to always call it that anyway. Considered to be good by proper comedy fans, the ones who actually go see this sort of thing live and know about this stuff (by which I mean: people who are cooler than me, a person who created a Tumblr blog so I could post about panel shows).

I decided today that I would look this person up, and it turns out he’s got a comedy special on YouTube:

First of all, I need to address something that is not at all important but it was still enough to distract me throughout the hour: he did not just seem familiar in that picture because he looks like one guy I used to train with, he looks very much like about eight different guys I used to train with, and looks vaguely like another forty or so of them. People joke, in the sport of wrestling, about there being a certain “look” that would let you recognize one of them on the street even if you didn’t know them. That is the look. That guy in the video, that’s the look. That is what all wrestlers between the ages of 17 and 27 look like. Which may or may not be a compliment depending on Sam Campbell’s actual age at the time of recording, I’m guessing it’s early thirties, but he looks exactly like every university-aged wrestler. It’s not important, but it was so noticeable that it distracted me as I tried to watch him. I had difficulty getting lost in the comedy because looking at a guy who looks like that makes my brain not process it as a comedy video, and instead expect him to dive at someone’s ankle. Not his fault, but definitely an issue.

Anyway, when I managed to get past that, the actual comedy show was quite entertaining. Quite a few of the jokes would be average at best if they were just written down on paper, but very funny when he delivered them. A couple of times I found myself in the middle of laughing, and stopping to ask, “Is this joke inherently funny? Or is he just funny?” Doesn’t really matter though, it still works. Also, about ten times across the hour he said something legitimately clever enough for me to say, “Okay, you could write that one down on a piece of paper and it would still be hilarious,” and that’s a pretty good rate for that sort of thing.

A lot of it is observational, but observational taken to amusingly extreme logical conclusions, I’ve rarely seen observational turn into surreal quite so quickly. My favourite part of the show was a routine about moving company workers that straddled that line perfectly, expressing something that’s sort of real and familiar but also absolutely ludicrous.

And he really committed to the bit with setting up the whole thing through a sniper lens. I kept thinking he’d drop that partway through, but nope, that was just there, all the way along, for one joke from the beginning. I don’t know, maybe it was supposed to have some sort of meaning? Hard to tell, doesn’t really matter, the commitment made it funny.

I do like a narrative and a theme in a comedy show, and this didn’t have that. I believe there was one callback throughout the entire thing. But that’s all right, because it was funny. It was a lot of funny stuff thrown together in ways that only barely make sense, but barely making sense was sort of the point, I think. There wasn’t really a point at all, and that may have also been the point. He managed to be high energy while giving the impression of the opposite, and did not run out of steam. He had a really funny joke about David and Goliath. It was fun to watch. If he went to a mid-level university tournament I would never be able to pick him out of the crowd, honestly, it’s fucking distracting. He’d have to watch his back or someone would give him an MVP award or something, to put with his MVP of Edinburgh and Melbourne trophies, because he looks so much like an amalgamation of the last six guys to win MVP of this tournament. That is not his fault, though. It’s fine. He’s very entertaining.

[midnights-wish]

|| 06.04.2024, saturday. ||

i've been thinking a lot about 'eleanor oliphant is completely fine' the last day or two.

to give a quick synopsis, the book is about eleanor, who has had a very traumatic past & is thus struggling in her adult life; she's got some odd ideas about how things should be, but also problems when it comes to the social aspect of things. i won't say how it ends, because the book is very well-written & i feel it is worth finding out yourself.

the one thing i have a difficulty grappling with, though, is that the book is described as 'funny' - both by critics & according to storygraph's genre categorization. and i've been wondering whether i'm one of the fewer people who didn't see the humour? because for me, a lot of the realizations eleanor made about other people, about herself, about how to socialize, etc., are things that i had to make & discover myself ---- & you know, as far as i understand, her moments of realization, i assume, are supposed to be the funny bits. because those are such logical conclusions to make, something that should be so clear that it is considered 'funny' that one even needed to think about these things for so long. but for me, on the other hand, the conclusions she made, & the way she formulated those conclusions to herself, are very very similar to what i would think to myself when i understood these simple truths of life (& sometimes, still do). so to me, the book wasn't funny at all, but just deeply emotional & it awoke quite a few memories of when i first understood these things.

i also don't mean to be misunderstood here: i'm not saying that the book isn't funny just because there's people who went through similar realizations as eleanor did - i'm sure in a few years time, when i'm (hopefully) done understanding how things work myself, i'll pick the book up again & see the humour in it, maybe even laugh at myself, that other people will do the same and probably already do. what i'm trying to process with this ramble, is more the realization of how big the gap between my way of thinking about how to socialize and going about life & the way other people think about socializing and life still is. while reading the book it was kind of surreal to me, is what i'm trying to say, how differently these situations in the book are perceived just because of differing experiences.

(i feel the need to clarify something, because i don't want to have any misconceptions created even if only a handful of people choose to read this post -- i did not have a traumatic upbringing. what i did have was an authority figure in my life who made me feel & think horrible things about myself, other people, & how the world works. while this may sound kind of bad, i don't think that this is enough to call it 'traumatic', simply because i have taken charge of things & learned how to correct them myself. still not completely done, obviously, but i figured out the solutions & i'm working diligently on it. however, the results of having to deal with that person caused me to live with the need to hide from people & experiences, which is why i lacked social skills & a simple understanding of the world. f.e., i didn't understand that if i wanted something, i could just ask for it or take actions to get it myself -- i didn't feel i deserved it, i didn't feel i was the type of person who was allowed to. these were things i had to understand and learn first, & that journey led me to make a lot of the similar conclusions (& also a quite a few not mentioned in the book) eleanor herself had to make. my experiences regarding bettering myself are what this ramble is focused on)

[klappert-art]

It's my 5 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳 --- Wow it's been 5 years since I tried to learn to draw properly and post them here 😅

Long rambling under the cut

Honestly it was pretty challenging for me because my study (when I started this blog) was pretty intense, also I live at home, commute every day to go to class so finding time & energy to draw is out of the window. I'm always amazed that most of my fav artists are real university students too, who probably have it even harder than me but they can draw a lot better... So why can't I??

The thing that I learned over time is, I improved faster when I draw fan arts. Because I have real and strict references to follow, unlike when I do OC where I usually just random bullshit go. That's why you see me posted fan arts more here. I just do my favorite fandom to motivate myself lol.

I am a picky person regarding fandom because mentally I can't handle so many heartbreaks (HAHA). And I need a fandom with diverse things to draw. Fate series is very perfect for me. I really like their ideas and the characters are just challenging. I've been into it since 2016-2017 and my pre-Fate art compared to today is... dkgeagwefgwk. I owe my skill growth to this fandom. My first post here was a Tomoe Gozen fan art 😂

I got into radar twice (which is still weird and unbelievable) because of a Noragami FA and my first A:TLA FA ever posted. Which was funny, because I don't draw them that much. But then again, my first "exposure" was from a random Taylor Swift ink art for a random inktober in 2019. That was so surreal lol.

Maybe you notice another fandom I draw a lot too, yes the game of all people in this world: Genshin Impact. Man, I started the game in release and thought "I have to make at least one fan art with the scenery of the game, and maybe this gonna be my first and last GI fan art." And look where we are now. I didn't expect this game would blow up, I believe the first FA I posted was one of the earliest Genshin post on tumblr 😂.I started doing GI FA also because I am mesmerized by the landscape and want to draw landscapes better. You see, there's this kind of reason in EVERY media I'm involving myself into. I simply like pretty and cool things. Sadly at some point the fandom is hell, so I like to take a step back sometimes.

Few months ago I also did some vtubers FA. Although mostly HoloID only, simply because I'm proud of them. Vtuber community has this unique relationship between Vtubers and derivative works, so you can feel real accomplishment when you showed your work to them.

Still, I still highly prefer to make real good original art and story someday. For now, I guess I have to grind first, because my current level is still not where I want to be yet to achieve that.

I use tumblr to post because I like the blogging and tagging system, however this site isn't popular in my country and my marketing for local cons isn't effective if I only use tumblr. I have IG, but I don't like it, thinking I should make twitter or something. AAaaA. My wish for now is to make many money with art lol (at least to supply my disposable income).

And some little things about myself, I'm working now, but not in creating art/design field. It's more of a history and research field (I do still interested in design... if I have the chance--yes I graduated from design thingy school). This blog is like... my creative outlet. The girl on my avatar is my OC Klappy, a gjinka of klappertaart. Klappertaart is the name of an Indonesian dessert (well, the name itself is dutch I guess) made from coconut topped with raisins. Dalr is an acronym from my real name. Thanks for reading, have a good day.

[hella1975]

:)))))))))))))))

List anon <3

Finally got around to reading Tams chapter 3 so heres that.

I didnt send in a thing for chapter 2 (i cant remember why) but I think I like Lihua. Unless you want to kill her or something in that case i hate her and am determined to not grow attached.

You also might just have the perspective abandon her. But I think Id be able to cope with that.

Not necessarily something that just now occured to me but just something that my mind prompted, I like how in this Zuko is immediately taught that he was like very sheltered. And how theres this big population of people who dont have a choice but to make bad decisions just so themselves and their families to survive.

Yeah I like her. Please dont kill her Im begging you

If you dont kill her ill ko fi you like 4 dollars (pounds??? i dont feel like adjusting my terminology right now)

idk if you remember but a few months ago you were complaining that you were really sick or something and you got an ask saying that they tried to send you i think 2 dollars if you would go to the e.r but their ko fi wasnt working. That was me and i got my ko fi to work and i am NOT above bribing you. Just saying.

Lihua reminds me of a delinquet Jin.

Azulas being imprisoned. That is DEFINETLY probably not going to lead to anything interestgin

Well theres Zhao

Well she was recognized

God shes so smart I love her so much shes figurively playing dumbass Zhao like a fiddle.

"The only reason she had for leaving it was because she knew that Zuko knew she wouldn’t leave it unless something awful had happened. This was a message. People were behind this, and that could only mean one thing." Taob parrelel thing?? Like when Zuko left one of his swords for Hakoda. Not sure if this was intentional or not but its a nice touch.

"Azula had figured out a plan before Zhao had even left her cell" Of course she had. Shes amazing i love her.

Is her Fire bending still orange????? Nice

I like how Azula still resents Ursa

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOKKA AND KATARA YES I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS

I think its funny that Zuko thinks Sokkas judging him because of his scar (which theres a small possiblity he doesnt know the symbolism for, I dont know i havent read that far yet) and not judging him because hes a firebender like he just exclaimed like dude OBVIOUSLY they are a tad bit distraught by firebending and bros just like "nah its because of my scar.

okay now hes catching on

Zukos so confused right now

Hes got a lot to take in take your time pal

"“Actually,” Zuko frowned, “I wasn’t talking to you.” He turned to Azula. “Well?”" Zukos attitude towards Sokka is so funny. "Its not like zukos going to be intimidated by a whelp like him", Stfu Zuko you were just unsettled by his stare like three paragraphs ago. You have a specific post I keep seeing on pinterest, (and i saw it on facebook one time, that was surreal,) (im pretty sure its you) its the one where its like enemy to lover fics are so funny because the tags are right there or something along those lines. This is giving those vibes. Like he might be unsettled by Sokka now but just wait like 15 chapters when hes REALLY going to be unsettled by him but this time the unsettledness is gay panic so.

I completely forgot about Iroh. Whats he up to nowadays?

"“Besides, Zuko just took out like ten soldiers by himself. I'm sticking with him until we get out of here.”" Im taking this as flirting you cant change my mind.

Wait is this fic even Zukka? *checks* yes it is, okay.

So Sokka is flirting, what next?

Now Azulas pov is acknowedging the difference between the real world and the palace, nice.

I cant remember if this was acknowledged in one of the other chapters or not. If so, oh well.

sOKKA Quit staring at him you dumb gay

Look at Sokka flirting. "Your not what I was expecting" Might as well tell him hes not like the other girls also you werent expecting a hot and mysterious twink in a fire nation strong hold? Be a lot weirder if he was expecting that tbh.

I like how hes asking Aangs consent to put him in a fake hostage situation.

"I'd be honored hotman" See Sokka, even aang will acknowledge that hes hot.

Aw shit Lihua might die

Okay Im done reading it.

This was such a good chapter. I loved it so much, your doing amazing.

I cant put into words how excited I am for the rest of this series.

I mentioned in one of the taob asks that Im really picky about how people write Azula, and Ive already talked about how much i love how you write Zuko, so its Azulas turn now.

First of all (of the stuff I read anyways) Azulas pov arent written enough.

And the ones there are its even more rare that she actually has like,,, a personality???

like Shes always so robotic and uncomplex in some fics and I cant put into words how refreshing it is to get a change in that. Like this is the first fic ive ever read that I dont absolutely dread Azula povs.

(I feel the need to say whenever I compare taob to other fics in these I'm never intending to put the other authors down, im just stating the differences in my specific preferences. Like im all for writers doing what they want in their fics, but the way you write align so well with what i like to read its uncanny sometimes)

Azula is such a difficult character, and you write her so well. Youre phenomenal, I love it.

Like shes by far my favorite thing about this so far.

I love her and Zukos dedication and codependancy. And also how well they ended up being able to read each other and how well they flow with each other. Its so different from their cannon relationship.

I think they should have let you write the comics.

Isnt there a new Azula comic coming out soon??????????/ They should let you write it. Your amazing with her.

You capture the complexity of their relationship so well, and like acknowledging how strained and toxic they were at the palace vs now, its so good, I love it so much.

My second favorite thing about tams, like i mentioned, is all of Sokka and Zukos interactions. They were so funny and honestly had me cackling.

I liked the whole 'Azula and Sokka are similar and so are Katara and Zuko' thing, because its true. I've always seen them as sort of parallels of each other. Its nice to see this acknowledged.

I saw that you answered some of my other ask things recently and the one where I was responding to what I think was the last chapter of Taob had me laughing because I had no idea it was that long when I sent it in. Sorry for making you read all that.

I have a process for writing these and a part of it is that I usually write it in a doc first and then copy and paste it into the ask thing and then read through it to make sure it makes sense. And sometimes when im rereading it Ill add a lot of stuff and I didnt realize how much I added with that particular ask.

I saw it and I just kept scrolling and scrolling and it was really funny to me.

I usually take screenshots when you answer them so i can remember what i have or havent talked about and that specific ask is like 14 screenshots of just the stuff I sent.

And im doing that again with this one.

Anywho im responding to some of your comments on my asks because i can.

"No you didnt send me an ask off anon but I wish you would"

never. I would rather die.

the whole your economics degree makes you feel stupid thing. theres a really popular saying thats like 'if you try to teach a fish to climb a tree it will spend its whole life thinking its stupid' or something like that. that part of your response reminded me of that.

"I want to know what your talking about with the kind thing"

Again, never. Absolutely not.

Theres another part i wanted to respond to but i cant remember now so oh well.

I know i always say that im not sure if these make sense but i actually mean it this time because im really tired. so have fun interpreting this.

OMG LIST ANON HI HI HI HOW ARE YOU <33333

i also love lihua it's kinda funny how many people were suspicious of her initially bc i genuinely dont know WHY idk if it's bc people just dont trust me or we're all overly cynical but i was getting comments and asks like 'i dont trust lihua' and im here like WHY THAT'S MY BABYGIRL

bribe me. do it. (no really dont i cant believe u tried to send me money just to take care of myself 😭)

as for the taob parallel thing, that wasn't on purpose! i really cant see myself putting ANY taob references in tams just bc i want them to be separate like i dont want all of my atla works from now on to be compared to taob bc that's. not gonna end well for me LMAO

"You have a specific post I keep seeing on pinterest, (and i saw it on facebook one time, that was surreal,) (im pretty sure its you) its the one where its like enemy to lover" NOOOOOOOOOO

i love how season 1 sokka's justification for very baltantly flirting with the firebender is literally to he's not like other girlsify him. sound logic there king

"like Shes always so robotic and uncomplex in some fics and I cant put into words how refreshing it is to get a change in that. Like this is the first fic ive ever read that I dont absolutely dread Azula povs." GOD TIER COMPLIMENT IM KISSING YOU RN i love love LOVE tams azula like i love her as a character i love writing her i love how it tests me a bit just love love love her and seeing how well she's been received in general has been such a pleasant surprise <3 do not even MENTION comic azula to me im so sad for her

"Sorry for making you read all that." please never apologise for these asks they make me very happy :)

"if you try to teach a fish to climb a tree it will spend its whole life thinking its stupid' or something like that." that's actually very fitting, thank you <3

get some sleep!!!!

thank you for this ask as always my love my light my cutie patootie xx

[kevinsreviewcatalogue]

Review: After Hours (1985)

After Hours (1985)

Rated R

<Originally posted at https://kevinsreviewcatalogue.blogspot.com/2023/06/review-after-hours-1985.html>

Score: 4 out of 5

After Hours is not the movie I was expecting. Between its director, its cast, its '80s New York setting, and the fact that Popcorn Frights screened it a couple of weeks ago, I expected a dark, downbeat noir thriller with horror touches, and perhaps one of Martin Scorsese's lesser films given that it came from his period in the '80s when he'd lost the approval of critics and audiences. Instead, I was surprised at just how funny the film was, albeit going in a very different, darker, more Kafkaesque direction with its humor versus what we often associate with the R-rated '80s comedies that it only superficially resembles. It's a film born from a successful filmmaker who was at a low point in his life and career, and damn well knew it, channeling all of his frustration with his struggle to get The Last Temptation of Christ made into a story of a man having the worst night of his life as everything that can go wrong, does go wrong, often in such a manner where you can't help but laugh and cringe at the same time. It's one of the darkest versions of this kind of movie to exist, don't get me wrong, but that movie is a hilarious, surreal, gut-busting comedy that I absolutely enjoyed.

Our protagonist Paul Hackett is a yuppie in Manhattan who inputs data at a firm and longs for more out of life. One night, while at a diner, he meets Marcy Franklin, a beautiful woman who tells him that her roommate Kiki Bridges is a sculptor who makes plaster-of-Paris paperweights, and leaves him her number, ostensibly in case he wants to buy one but really because she's into him. Later that night, Paul obliges and heads down to Marcy and Kiki's apartment in Soho, in what turns out to be the beginning of a series of events involving a dead body, a pair of burglars who for once weren't carrying stolen merchandise, a bartender who's lost the key to his register, a punk nightclub, a vigilante mob, and a whole lot of really weird women.

It's the kind of night that feels absolutely cursed, an experience that most of us can probably relate to even if the threat of death never came up for us the way it has for Paul by the end of this movie, and Paul's actor Griffin Dunne does a great job of selling it. Dunne plays Paul as a man bored with life, the film opening with him doing perhaps the most soul-sucking office job you can imagine. You understand from the moment you see him why he might run off into Soho in the middle of the night, simply on the promise of meeting a beautiful woman. As the film goes on, he grows to regret his decision in increasingly bewildered and desperate fashion as the city tortures him with every indignity it can throw his way and uses him as its own personal chew toy, from little things like losing a $20 bill to some outright wacky stuff, slowly but surely sinking into madness as he goes. Each new scene makes you wonder how the city is going to fuck with him this time, like an old-school point-and-click adventure game that throws all manner of increasingly bizarre obstacles in the way of what should be a simple goal. "If I want the keys to my apartment back, I've gotta go to the bartender's apartment, but there are burglars on the loose and the other people there don't know me, so they think I'm a criminal..." Given the hell he was going through at the time, it was no wonder Scorsese saw something in Joseph Minion's screenplay.

And the movie wouldn't have worked as well as it did if not for how Scorsese once again made New York the other main character. In this case, it's not a bustling metropolis, but a place in the wee hours of the morning (after hours, if you will) where the streets are deserted and the people you do meet are more likely to be the freaks and the weirdos. I can easily picture the version that Tim Burton (the director originally attached to this) might've made, and it probably would've been an inventive film in its own right, but Scorsese fuses that style with his own background as the guy who defined the image of 1970s/'80s New York on the big screen, creating a slightly askew version of his usual "gritty realism" where it feels like anything bad can happen, and not just the things you hear about in the next morning's headlines. It feels like a place that hates Paul and wants to see him suffer for the sake of its own amusement, and Scorsese, filming a New York devoid of traffic, makes the place simply feel wrong, like a maze designed for his torment.

The supporting cast, too, nails it. Being among the few people in the neighborhood who live their lives at night, they're strange even for the standards of New Yorkers, from Linda Fiorentino's kinky artist Kiki to Catherine O'Hara's stuck-in-the-'60s ice cream truck driver Gail to Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong as the small-time crooks Neil and Pepe. Most importantly, however, as Paul interacts with all of them, we get perhaps the most uncanny element of this film's upside-down New York: a place where everybody seems to know each other, like a small town that just so happens to be nestled in the middle of Manhattan. People who don't treat each other as total strangers? Now that's how you know something's wrong in the Big Apple, especially if you're an outsider. It adds to the feeling that Paul's night has gone completely sideways, like something has not only gone totally wrong ever since he stepped out of his apartment into the wild world of New York's nightlife, but has been totally wrong since long before he entered the picture, like he wandered into something that by all logic shouldn't exist in the middle of the City that Never Sleeps but does so anyway. It builds to an ending that arrives suddenly, but feels like the perfect punchline for everything we just witnessed.

The Bottom Line

I was not expecting After Hours to be the movie it was, but I'm glad I got to see it. Martin Scorsese and the cast together do a great job lending a very off-kilter black comedy feel to his usual style, and I had a great time watching it.