#very funny to see me post my surreal work and people go

[corrodedparadox]

It’s always funny to me when I post a drawing in a different style I commonly use or whatever and people go “Omg you’re THAT artist?? I never connected the dots” and I’m like really, how did you not know, I feel like all the work I put out is pretty similar. And then I look at the difference between the fun art I make vs the bigger part pieces I make and it’s like.

Ok yeah I get it. That’s fair.

[strongbabe2907]

Here’s a little review of Zepp Haneda - Dir en grey Who is this hell for tour 2024

In the morning i took a wrong train and almost ended in Yokohama, lmao. In the end i was there around 10:40 and we got the merch tickets.

After that we met up with a few people and had some food. The cafe/bar we went too was blasting Dir all day and played their pvs inside too, it was surreal but very cute.

Visnu brought the art books and it was so cool to see them irl before she put them in the gift box🥰 everyone worked so hard!! Go check out #SilverCoinProject if you haven’t! I’m not an artist i send in some pictures hehe. There’s also a picture in there of my gifts.. maybe i’ll post them later on social media now i have given them.

So we walked around a bit and went to the torii my friend recommended, but they were doing construction work right around it so it was a bit noisy.

When it was time for merch we found out todays sticker was Kaoru!! I hoped a shiny but unfortunately just normal ones. Still cute.

I bought more merch for friends and some standees, did some trading with other japanese fans and some gift exchange 🥰 honestly everyone has been so nice and sweet.

We god dinner before the show and i started to get nervous again.. we split up waiting because we had different numbers and i was very focused on the counting haha.

I had 235 for vip which got me… 6th row maybe? Second barrier in zepp. Which was.. i had hoped for a bit closer but it is what it is.

Again i was between Kaoru and Kyo and looked at them most. Shinya wore his white outfit, Die also wore a white outfit. I think Toshiya was all black? He wore the shorts with something on top and dramatic separate sleeves.

Kaoru looked amazing! He was in all black. Black dress shirt with big collar. Wearing a small, wide black tie. His waistcoat thing and trousers/shorts were the same texture/print. The waistcoat was much more wide/baggy and shorter in the front and longer in the back. I think it had 2 rows of 3 buttons on it. The shorts were just passed his knees and veryy wide with big pockets on the sides. He wore black leggings with them again. Black dr martens and i think socks?

His hair was pulled back in a little ponytail and he had two strands loose in the front. One behind his ear and one just loose. He had the usual make up, little fangs, eyeliner and dark shading especially around his head. He was the only one that didn’t change for the encore.

Kyo wore the same simple outfit. I still couldn’t make out the tat very well, but thought i could discern some points to it.. Visnu later mentioned she thinks it’s either like a little star or a cross?

He wore low black doc martens this time.

His voice was just 💯from the start. They seemed more energetic/relaxed than the first show (which was still really good btw). He did some dancing (god he’s so tiny..) and moved around and took his earpieces out to listen to the crowd sing/shout. Closer to the end he pointed at two people, one right ahead of me. I think one of them had made a tattoo like him and he was smiling? Cute.

Also HELLOOO obscure was so awesome. It was the more recent version which i personally prefer. It was so cool!! And i mentioned this on twitter already but Kaoru didnt do much wahwah but he did grunt along with tsumi no kisei and was doing tough guy act to the crowd and singing along with a song (sorry cant remember which) for a long but, it was really cute. They switched sides once i think. My friends said there was almost a twin towers collision but i didnt see.

After the last song (Eddie), Kyo did a big smile and said ‘bye bye’ and he was off.

Shinya’s drumstick landed right next to my foot but i was busy looking at Kaoru😭😂🙈(he was also throwing stuff). Then girl next to me notices a tiny but before me and bend down to grab it, but it was fine i mosty found it funny i missed it cos i was going 👁️ at Kao.

Everyone but Kyo also threw a tour towel.. maybe shinya didnt? Im not sure. Toshiya was smiling and put his face in it before tossing it in the crowd lol. Kaoru also threw it near the front and Die tied a knot in it again and pitched it to the back of the venue lol.

So good live! Girls around me were lively but i was standing at a bit of a dead area in the crowd?? I liked both citta and zepp even though the vibes were different. (Citta was def more intense)

After the show we got the vip bags! They’re very cute. And now i try and recover a little before heading to Kyoto.

[velvetjune]

Alan Wake 2 Lake House DLC spoilers/review (also spoilers for Control):

Had a lot of fun with this DLC! It’s short (unfortunately expected this), but sweet, although I wish I didn’t watch the trailer for it. It would’ve been amazing experiencing this with no knowledge. As a massive Control fan, I was practically thriving off of all the reading and FBC style. I have some sympathy for fans of Alan Wake who might hate Control, but these games are far more than a crossover by now and moving forward. I can see how this wouldn’t work for people who dislike that.

Personally, Remedy has done well at connecting their stories without it clashing! The AWE dlc for Control was a mixed bag for me, mostly because the story wasn’t really there and the darkness mechanics were bland. This could be because I’m very biased towards Control, but this was a great example of how to merge the settings and traits of both games in an interesting way.

The marital and mad scientist drama was terrible in the best way. I was dying every time one of the Marmonts was “hmmm Wake says we’re going to die horrifically and become monsters, but im personally better than that.”

DR DARLING… <3 He should’ve had more appearances </3

After all the deserved hate directed at AI and producing content rather than art, it was heartwarming to see promotion for Poe. I don’t know the details, but she’s barely been able to release music over the last 20 years (some songs here and there), so having an entire area dedicated to her with links to a (fingers crossed) site about an upcoming Poe project was lovely. Lots of love put towards artists in this.

Ed being there was and thinking he was in an immersive experience was incredibly funny. I’d have to look it up, but was the manuscript page in his room detailing when he was taken HERE and not him dying to taken? Was this DLC happening during the start of aw2 or right before?

I’m in love with Kiran Estevez. She can be judgmental and tries to maintain a level of calm over the situation, but her disgust, fear, humor all shine through in funny ways. Hope that she, along with at least Saga, get to be in Control 2.

Only found this out after checking Reddit (which imo is too harsh over both Night Springs and this DLC), but apparently the Dylan part is skippable. It was SUCH a highlight of this DLC. The shifting environments, the Not-Oldest House, Dylan in the “panopticon” post-Control, etc. was surreal and captivating. Usually with set ups teasers, I don’t particularly care (e.g. the AWE dlc ending was alright!), but man. The way to get it was perfectly strange. Poor Dylan. Just like Control’s “hidden” ending cutscene, this really seems to put Control 2 in the wider NYC.

Having a “person who’s only seen Boss Baby” moment: thought of tma (the podcast) with the tapes, archives, panopticon, all the weird shit. It didn’t influence this game, but I was getting flashbacks to when I listened to it (stopped caring for it, but the first few seasons were fun in a creepypasta way)

I liked the calendar puzzles. I’m not a huge fan of puzzles in games, but these were easy enough to follow without dragging on. however I did spend five minutes confused just because I got Friday and Saturday mixed up :(

The boss fight was easy in story mode lol

Diana brutally killing the taken Jules was one of the only “gross” moments of Remedy’s games and it was great! It’s not much gore, but I’ll take it.

I accidentally pressed the option to instantly destroy (?) the painting :( So im so sorry to Rudolph and I’ll be replaying this dlc soon to see what the other option is.

For my problems, I was sad that the paint monsters were mainly annoying to run from (also they’re cute). I don’t know if it was an issue on my end or a bug, but even once I went to story mode, I still wasn’t finding healing objects until the last fight. The reason I switched to story was only because my low-ish health kept instant killing me by the Painted 😭 Maybe it’s because I haven’t replayed Alan Wake in a while, but this DLC was wildly difficult. If Remedy didn’t add a whole list of assists, I’d be more frustrated, but thankfully it’s there. The map also would keep question marks and loot up even when I interacted.

I prefer the Night Springs DLC, but this was a great look into Estevez, Control, and what art is. Now, Alan Wake 2 is officially done!

[derww]

end barrens | full spoilers to the video

fun fact: i have this thing where im a little too often find something interesting before it gets more broad attention and it makes me kinda miss the trends, but backwards. I remember wato from ken's "complete the challenge" stream from june.

she was kinda funny there, but as all of them, cool people who know cool things. in general, wato's cubito is just a little more stands out when theyre in kens videos, mostly in just how similar theyre.

post-wifies debunk i saw that wato does have their own videos, and even watched the one directly connected to the debunk, but it seemed for me that there is some kind of interconnected and deep lore that i couldnt understand and, tbh, was not enough interested to spend my time on it. and i havent wanted uu long enough to see uu!wato, so... thats kinda all.

i know whats end barrens are tho – ive seen a few video about such things, notably the squiddo one (where they travel to the central end island world).

so i knew that there will be no animals, no mobs aside an endermans, no food, almost nothing. i started my watch, thinking itd be a story about finding meaning in nothing, how to not go insane having so little in such an uncomfortable inviroment, and i knew enough about wato to know that they could pull something like that.

i mean. and it sounds like it would be kinda horror-like, in a way of an existential horror, like my squiddo farlands fic. about friendship, time, forgetting things, dead world and being, in the end, alone. and for me it was enough of a reason to pull it through very slow start. it the end, there is the reason why ive written squiddo farlands fic. i love long and melancholic existential horrors about being alone.

its a little zeemyth'e, but not scary, really long, arthouse and both of the main characters know too much about minecraft. its so slow, and its hard to concentrate with adhd, but im not actually feeling bored. maybe because i like to watch them both. interesting, how long it is until things will do actually south? 28:02.

trees they build can be seen as an orientiers, as a way to know that someone was here. that youre not alone. with that, seeing that its obviously a little uu-like, Don't they have an external connection? What about the chat? none of them have written to it yet, and that's weird. without means of communication, if they lose each other, the only way to reunite is for both of them to be on spawn, and losing each other in such a world is... frighteningly easy. if someone does not want to return home, they will not be reunited. 29.51

and, hey, music and image had glitched.

and, hey. ken left her.

why does she places dirt with her bare hand?

oh. she lost her hand animation in general.

oh. theyre back.

[50.07] a tower that wato makes reminds me of s5 lifesteal towers built by spoke. infinitely stretching upwards, surreal and mesmerizing.

i think they miss ken.

hotel with an infinite rooms without any guests.

[59.31] and hey. she actually can get a milk bucket, sooner or later. its possible. itll give them more to work with, but i dont think theyll be able to go to the nether anyway since they cant get wood not iron.

yeah, shes going insane. i get it. its hard. "you have only use here". okay.

"you know how insignificant you life is" and trader nods.

[1:05:05] its so... melancholic. dystopian. hopeless. all her efforts are useless.

and of course, no milk bucket. its only 8%. she has to wait a lot longer.

[1:09:44] is it just seems like it, or is there much more endermen now?

[1:23:14] okay. im losing it.

[1.24.51]. i mean. it shows how actually monumental 100 days challenges are. how much time it consumes. and goe devastating they are. yeah jarons 100 days superflat, while being a really hard challenge, somehow feels like a playground in the comparison to this. and we are only on day 20. had we forgot how important and real time is because of the video, tying up more than a full day of recording in 20 minutes?

[1:28:03]. its not even about progression anymore. its just about anything to do.

[1.35.10]. you know, i love to watch challenges in minecraft surviving in a void, in a superflat world, on one block. ive watched enough of them to know just how rare wandering traders are. and its still only 8%.

[1.46.06]. she never acknowledges fact that she builds a third tower already. she says it like she still builds her first. like she reached the very top, pierced the firmament and found herself at the bottom. it is a cycle. it is a loop. its day 50. im so tired. theyre tired too. where is ken?

[1.49.35]. imagine is there is people out there. a civilization. someone who found something new. and shes just here. at spawn. alone. pointless.

[1.50.44]. oh. hi, wifies. how long until you leave too? is it strange that seeing him makes me feel even hopeless than before. something is not right.

[1.53.36]. i forgor banners are flammable. then yeah, theoretically you can go to the nether. wow. cool. its actually not completely worthless. but she wouldnt escape, right? there is still no good ending.

[1.56.19]. you cant shoot an enderman. only phantom, pillager, llama, wandering trader, a person and yourself.

[1.57.46]. there were stars touching each other. 202&365. they got separated 14 years ago. but they sould be reunited soon. or had they already been?

[2.06.36]. why does she builds bridges. is it because electronics can be damaged in the water.

[2.09.18]. he isnt staying. because why would he?

[2.23.53]. ah. hes not real. its to be expected. explains why he needed help to get out from the dirt end portal. im mean. hes still a company.

[2.24.26]. she repeats it too often. demented. is it at any way connected to their main lore, with omz mask and everything.

[2.28.50]. you know. when youre so close to being out. its almost alluring to lose everythig. to give up. to die in lava. to stop. to stay here forever no matter how much you hate this place. because anything other than that feels wrong.

[2.29.58]. she'll go to ken's lava pool. she'll lose ger bucket. she'll lose her bucket. she'll lose her bucket. it's the first time her death actually has importance, and she will die.

[2.32.37]. it lit up.

[2.33.50]. she's dead.

thank you.

[zeondraws]

Fellas, year is almost overrrr and it feels kinda surreal what I went through to reach this point.

I may feel nauseous rn but...! Today was a good day, my friends family and other relatives of her came today. I showed them my budgie too, he may be getting blind but people were able to hold him on their hands.

I haven't felt such joy in a while, I don't know how to put it. I remember the first years when I stayed at my friend's place around Christmas or so. It was fun but I was still dealing with other stuff that stressed me out. Especially last december was extremely stressful for me.. I mentioned it in another post? I think?

I unpacked some presents I got today. There was one special present in it, where I still can't believe of owning it.

!!! SWTD themed Christmas Jumper! Like?? Wow!! Still bewildered that one got sent to me, I mean this game is so much fun and I'm so darn obsessed analysing every detail of it whenever I can.

I literally played through it again on my PlayStation, I usually don't play such games multiple times but this one? It just hit me the moment I saw a Let's play of it. The first one I saw was from IGP, I really enjoyed him playing it, even tho Rennick JUMPSCARED me the first time I saw that scene.

First few times playing this game I got nightmares from Gibbo or my heart was racing while I ran away from Rennick. I don't know why, Gibbo's sentences haunted me so much. The pain in his voice was unbearable. (Same with O'Conner)

Trots still gives me the creeps, like he just has that aura on him. However, jumping over Trots is also very funny. And Muir's level I can now play in my sleep. I think 1/3 of my hours shown on steam is just me messing with Muir. It's currently at 154 hours played.

And Roper... my beloved *shakes my fists* poor wee man. He did nothing wrooonggggg. Sobs loudly. Foaming at the mouth and hoping there is more lore of him in the artbook. The wait will soon be over. I'm so excited.

But... I just wanna say thank you again to the devs and publishers for this awesome game. It very much helped me be able to get through the day for months. Considering it came out when I was still in a bad work environment, constantly getting bullied. I kept rewatching Playthroughs to stay calm.

I think I related to Caz a lot too, even if everything was basically falling apart around him, he kept going. Ofc he sadly couldn't get a happy ending in the end. But I just try to remember to keep going. Even if I needed to endure my old job for a bit longer, until my new job started.

It bring me so much joy being able to learn more about the gaming industry and the programs used to make such games. And ofc datamining the game and looking at every little detail. May it be the smallest thing such as a file called "CazYeet" or finding an entire unused level that was scrapped. Or even Muir's hit by prop sounds! My eyes WIDENED when I heard them.

I sometimes check artstation on multiple occasions, just to see if something new popped up. And whenever it does, I do a little mental happy dance.

(Petition to make an april fools update where the hit by prop sounds are enabled/JOKE)

Maybe one day I can finally switch over to the entertainment industry, but I need to teach myself so much first. I still wanna go to art school so badlyyyyy. I can already see I won't feel ready enough until I'm 30 or so. Although I'm going to be 23 in 2 days- I still have to practice so many skillsets ajshajsjaksnaksnksks *explodes* but I shall avoid spiralling in my thoughts.

I think I appreciate games so much more now, I still want to try out a bunch of them. But I firstly have to work on some swtd related projects. I'm definitely planning on making a big analysis video next year, which sounds terrifying, I need to practice talking in recordings first. ;a; But I can't forget to visit events too, I need to try out so much stuff;;;;

Okay before I ramble on endlessly... Just, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

@thechineseroom-brighton @wearesecretmode

I hope it's okay if I tag, I know I talk like a river at times, but since I'm a very emotional human being I usually like sharing my thoughts.

I wish the the fandom and devs a Merry Christmas and a great start to the New Year. May everyone heal from past wounds and form new positive memories.

Have this drawing of my OC Kirsten holding bird Roper in his arms.

[not-goldy]

Hey Goldy! How are you? This is just super random, but someone shared a clip of Rosebowl Jikook, and can I just say how surreal it still feels that it actually happened? People were scrambling to explain that it was completely platonic, that it was an edit, that JK didn't suck JM's ear, that it was completely normal 🙄

I've heard about a certain clip where you could see a string of saliva, and yes, I saw it. Apparently, the big screen during the concert show you front and center when that happened and how you could literally see the string of saliva from JK's mouth to JM's ear. You could even see the sucking movement.

Imagine if Jikook have partners? Imagine seeing that and being okay w/ it?? And mind you, he did after towards the end of the concert, when they're sweaty and all.

People left and right, 24/7 camping on Jikook accounts writing long-ass essays and novels to say Jikook hate each other or whatever. You don't see us camping out on say tkk/yoonmin accounts to prove they're not real, don't you? I mean, sure, we correct misinformation when you're posting lies or manipulated clips for your non-existent ships (tkk/yoonmin/etc).

Even the companion system in the military still haunts these people until now. Suddenly, everyone is a fucking expert on Korean military?? If it was any other ship, I'm pretty sure we won't be hearing a thesis on why they're not together right now, how they're doing their things away from each other? Like, what happened to critical thinking and common sense? You'd think if Jimin and Jungkook didn't want to do their enlistment together, they wouldn't go through those damn hoops, including selecting the harshest division. They'd just do what everyone else did 😩

Do you think these uncultured and unloved people (haters/antis/toxic solos/tkkrs etc) would lose their mind even more once the Jikook travel show drops? Hope it drops this June 😭

If Jikook have partners they are the most non territorial non concerned non bothered group of people on the planet cos of if Jimin or Jungkook were mine I would have them quit their careers 😩

Like you can't be stressing me out with the constant dating rumors talking bout we just friends but you coming home every night with a hickey embarrassing me on the internet begging for a man's attention a man who looks like this by the way

Like where do I even begin to compete his ass is fatter than mine😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

You just friends but you out here having panick attacks when he puts you on voice mail

Boy didn't even eat the dinner I made him cos he's out there cooking for another man

He doesn't laugh at my jokes the way he does his and his jokes are not even funny 😤

In his spare time he's watching vlives of him with his fans and I swear I heard him call me Jimin one time when we were making love

I need a divorce. This is not working out

It's either me or him 😩

Mother fucker chose him 😩

I don't want to over sell the travel blog I'm very very curious about it but I know it won't disappoint.

And the way Jungkook had to come out here and tell us about the one moment makes it feel all the more sus to me

Feels like a preemptive strive so fans don't make a big deal out of them sharing a bed but baby boy WE WILL

It's jikook they send antis with into a frenzy with the barest minimum 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

I won't expect anything less from those numbnuts

[ai-the-broccoli]

DN ask game: 11 (lawlightmane), 24 and 25, please!

thank you for the ask!!

11. what do you think about (lawlightmane)?

I love them!!!

in terms of comedy, their yotsuba arc shenanigans were some of my favourite moments in the show. like I know how much this phrase gets said but seriously. world's worst toxic polycule. I always love horrible polycules in fiction, they're great fun (see gramarye ot3 and matt-juan-celeste-adrian from ace attorney; I ship the first one, and the second one is just so intriguing in terms of how fucked up it was. dysfunctionality, obsessive hatred & rivalry, murders, suicide, accidentally-implied grooming, dependency, untreated dpd [this one is like strongly implied in canon] and probably also bpd, npd and who knows what else mixing together in the worst way possible, the mysterious relationship between a codependent lesbian [strongly implied] working for years - in the role of his manager - with the womanizing bisexual male actor she fucking hates, the guy just having spy cameras installed all over his male rival's home for some fucking reason......... oh wait) but also! in this case they are like... surreal in such a nice way because of the contrast??? like it's so incredibly toxic and yet here they are. having the most godawful first date (canonically addressed as a date) in the animated sitcom that is called Death Note Yotsuba arc. love to see it. okay how do I explain the appeal here? uhh basically it's kinda like. gap moe.

now comedy aside (but also sorta combined with the comedic aspects; mainly I mean "moving onto it as a serious thing"). MAN. lawlightmane is just fucking insanely good in general. like it's like. it's many things, it is EXTREMELY compelling and an incredibly intriguing dynamic that is full of potential for many things. iirc after I first watched DN and got obsessed with it badly, I made a tierlist and on the topmost tier I put lawlight and lawlightmane (lawlightmane wasn't even an item on the tiermaker I was using, so I just uploaded a screenshot to use myself). both because it was very funny as World's Worst PolyculeTM, and because it's genuinely great. and now my opinions on all of those characters and relationships are much more developed, I think I definitely appreciate it more seriously on a whole.

regarding each respective one-on-one relationship involved in lawlightmane...

well I am. obviously majorly incredibly into lawlight as a ship (beloved otp-tier ship, and maybe somewhat on that tier across fandoms too; I think it's my top favourite canonically-m/m ship rn [maybe tied with another 1-2, but not necessarily]). not sure I need to elaborate since I mean it's lawlight, it's really good

and then law/mane [censoring since this is... negative-ish? so I'm not putting it in the ship tag]. uh full disclosure I have no interest in law/mane if light isn't involved in the picture sorry. (at least rn I've never seen anything that's convinced me) I can see the appeal, and I can also see why some people don't like it, but for me it's really just... well it's just not much my thing lol unless it's a lawlightmane-related situation. OH also personally I can't see it as a romantic thing per se, like my brain just really doesn't compute at the idea of "L is in romantic love with Misa" or vice versa even in an AU. but as for any sexual aspect, it's just a plain "this isn't my thing" situation (as in I'm not interested but the idea doesn't make my brain automatically go "???? [error 404 does not compute]" as a romantic depiction may). their dynamic also doesn't grip me like yagamane (also non-romantic -ish ship for me) does, so yeah, overall I can't say I ship it outside of shipping lawlightmane! HOWEVER as a dynamic it's pretty neat within lawlightmane too.

EDIT (before posting the draft): I woke up today and was about to add "actually I think for a ship such as law/mane, what would probably at least slightly convince me of it has be something thematic probably, so if anyone has any ideas related to how they thematically complement each other or such feel free to send them my way, I like that sort of stuff" but then as I was brushing my teeth my brain filled in the gaps vaguely myself. it's something related to gluttony/hunger/appetite etc. and uh... okay I can see it now ngl lmao. that being said even in that vein I still just like them in lawlightmane for the time being, what changed was that I now have a better feel of their dynamic within lawlightmane if that makes sesne.

moving onto yagamane. man I LOVE yagamane and their whole... *gesture vaguely*. I personally definitely don't see it as a... idk, relationship formed of mutual genuine romantic and/or sexual attraction, but like, it very much doesn't have to be. it's super appealing in the way it's sooooo fucked-up in all sorts of ways, including thematically, mutually, and it's incredibly compelling to chew on. I also love both of them as individual characters (extremely obsessed with light but also really love misa and find her fascinating to think about) so that helps.

anyway lawlightmane really is very good, imo. I love it, thanks for asking anon

24. any headcanons you want to share?

let's see, what have I not mentioned much here yet?

Matsuda has indeed sort of had a crush on Light

Soichiro considers himself a straight man but is not one

The Shinigamis technically can have sex despite what the author tells us, but they are largely asexual or at the very least on the ace spectrum

Kiyomi doesn't canonically present butch but she should be. in an AU where she lives to the future

Misa doesn't die after she attempts suicide near the end in the anime canon

Light should take to gambling, c'mon you know he has JUST the right personality for that shit, go for it Light, develop a gambling addiction instead of a serial killing one! you can do it!!

nsft-related:

weirdly to me Mello is mostly a dom except for when it's with Near. though I haven't thought about this extensively so my opinion can change

I'm not a 100% strict lawlight top/bottom purist per se but I'm sorry I completely can't digest a relationship where Light is exclusively or mostly a dom and a top while L is exclusively or mostly a sub and a bottom. I respect your (general "you"; as in whoever is reading this, not the anon) opinion if you do, and it's fair, but I just can't see it, it doesn't work for me. the dom part is more important than the top/bottom part for me also.

on that note my opinion is that Light TECHNICALLY can dom, especially in relationships with people other than L, but. he's actually just... not into it. he thinks that he is, but it will just turn out he isn't. he'll get the instant powertrip high over it for a very short period of time at first, and then he just. loses it, the high fades quickly and he gets bored as fuck. and he isn't into it at all and finds that he wants to be the sub to some other person actually. which in itself is something he'll find extremely humiliating but that's good too

anyway it's nearly a fandom consensus at this point that Light has a praise kink I think lmao. that I do agree with. I will propose that we also assign praise kink to Matsuda and Soichiro; it's already been done (well, one by someone else and the other by yours truly) and I think it makes sense tbh.

... actually on that note. my personal hot take is that we as a fandom should very much consider applying the "like father like son" principle to nsft involving Soichiro Yagami, in connection to Light Yagami (<- you must understand that I have a lot of those takes because the first DN fic and currently my only DN fic I've published off-anon is in fact a soichello fic. it is only natural)

also yes I think Kiyomi should be a dom and has S tendencies

Misa definitely gives sub energy. though I wonder if she can also dom

25. ramble on about whatever you’d like to

lately I've wondered briefly if MikaMatt (as a romantic? ship and/or as a platonic ship) would be good solely because I put them in the roles of Iino and Ishigami respectively in the Kaguya-sama AU (Iino and Ishigami are canonically subtextual love interests to each other, and they're a fun duo even though I don't particularly ship them romantically). however I still do not understand Matt much sadly so this might be as far as it goes [-> note: if any Matt fans see this and want to fill me in, feel free!! I'm always interested in hearing more]

speaking of Mikami. I def like mika / light casually but I often wonder how come I don't actively like it more considering my OTP in mgrc has the whole... god thing, as a major major major draw for me (see: my current blog header title is a reference to that ship). that being said I do get it because mika / light is different from hime / san in various ways outside of it so it tracks

Light should become friends with Chika Fujiwara (he'll hate her but hey. it's fine) and get into board games and card games, it will save him (maybe slightly. sort of. it will help a little at least.)

okay anon so. I'm going to take a wild guess here and assume that you're at least to some degree familiar with the J-drama adaptation (maybe you've watched some of it?), but if not you can still read this part I suppose.

it's so funny that every other adaptation of DN just gets progressively gayer and gayer because dude literally what the fuck was going on with j-drama lawlight lmfao

the fucking shower scene (and everything about it), the ??? scene where L hooks Light to a polygraph??? (no like what the fuck was that really. it's not as infamous as the shower scene, but the blatantly textual sadomasochism is extremely in your face in that one), and the whole blue sceneTM, and then Light practically kissing L's cheek after L's death, and everything else

with that being said. hmmmmmmm. anyway moving on to my feelings about the j-drama in general:

I liked it overall! some stuff in it are very nice. and I like the characters too, but definitely not as much as the canon counterparts.

importantly I absolutely have to see the drama and each character and each relationship in the drama as like, a whole separate thing from the animanga canon, because if I viewed it as an adaptation they would come off as awful whereas as its own thing it is nice.

I like j-drama Light a lot! ...but not even nearly as much as animanga Light, sorry. I have to see him as a whole separate character 100% (that way he's funny and cute-ish, and I can appreciate him), otherwise I can't enjoy him at all because I'll just be thinking "where's my beloved amazing perfect Bad NPD RepTM :( they nerfed him and now he's not relatable anymore" the whole fucking time <- wow this is very normal and doesn't say anything about me at all. dw about it

and on that note. ngl I have to complain a bit. so I've seen more than one person say that j-drama is so much more ""human"" than canon Light, and I mean, that's a fair opinion!! I get what you mean and I totally get where you're coming from. that being said... I'm sorry I don't agree and I'm not sure I like what that implies either. I know that compared to animanga Light, j-drama Light possesses various traits that are societally more associated with "humanity" but y'know what idk. I don't think that's true. to me animanga Light Yagami is extremely human. I think it is an incredibly human wish to desire to become a god, also

personally I don't think j-drama Light is a better person, if he commits the same atrocities as animanga Light and just simply feels worse/feels more empathy/feels more guilt or whatever about it. I strongly believe that your actual morality is determined not by what you feel but by what you do, like, someone who keeps doing bad things while feeling the societally expected level of bad for it is hardly a better person than someone who does the same things, no more, while being unable to feel as much [insert expected feelings] over it (but still doesn't do more bad things than the previous person).

anyway back to the j-drama. basically I like it, and I def have many fond feelings over it personally, but the watching experience wasn't as good as anime DN for me, and there is more stuff that I dislike. and also I can't compare it to animanga DN too much because as an adaptation per se it doesn't work at all imo (but as its own thing? it's fine and I like some stuff in it quite a lot).

anyway I think that's all on my mind for now!! thank you for the great questions, I had fun writing this

[xerith-42]

My Street Stoner Headcanons

This is part 1 in a series of posts I wanna make about different characters in the Aphverse who partake in the devil's lettuce.

Important disclaimer, I don't really like My Street! It peaked with season 2, it's got a lot of problems from day one that remain problems in it's sixth season, they manage to have TWO beach SEASONS and neither one has someone who was easily one of the main characters of the series it was based on, and it really lost the plot. Like way faster than MCD did. But there is stuff to love about it.

I love the idea of My Street as it was initially promised. A slice of lice modern AU of MCD that is a SLICE OF LIFE. No grand stakes of the universe, nobody's getting blown up (unless it's for comedic effect), and nobody's dying. It's about a bunch of young adults, some of whom have known each other since high school or longer, all living on the same street together and the day to day shenanigans they get up to. So basically Season 3 but the entire series is like that. This is my very long winded way of saying that none of the "lore" of My Street matters to me and when you read my headcanons, know that I ignore the canon of My Street more than I ignore the canon of Minecraft Diaries. I don't care about the angels, I just want to get high with my friends.

Anyways wanna smoke some weed?

Blaze is the main weed dealer of My Street. Man has both an indoor and outdoor garden with multiple plants. He and the werewolf trio all live together and they actually help him out with his business sometimes. It's the main way Blaze pays rent on their place and also just a great side hustle. Like Blaze never has to worry about money, and he's constantly giving free stuff to his friends if they want it.

His first ever costumer in the friend group was actually Aaron. The two got high in High School like once when Aaron was inexplicably at Blaze's house. He's still not entirely sure how he got there to this day, the whole experience feels very surreal and liminal. But he remembers how freeing it was, how much stress he was able to let go of. So when college is kicking his ass, he hits up Blaze expecting to just like share half a blunt like they did before, and then they hotbox Blaze's dorm with a gravity bong.

If it wasn't already clear, Blaze is the top stoner of the entire My Street Universe. Some characters are definitely more frequent users than others (we'll get to Travis), but for Blaze, I mean... C'mon. His birthday is literally April 20th. He's the stoner friends to end all stoner friends but he also gets weirdly emotional with people when they're high and basically makes his friends process their shit every now and then by offering to get them high as a stress reliever. It all started with Aaron showing up in his door, getting baked enough to see God, and then randomly confessing that he was actually a werewolf the entire time. Even though. Blaze already knew that.

And then Aaron confesses it to Irena (C!Aphmau) while they're late night gaming. Like she mentions that Katelyn's room smelled funny when she went into it the other day and Aaron instantly jumps to "I've gotten high with Blaze before." So she tries it out of morbid curiosity, and while she enjoys it, she ultimately decides it's not something she wants to do on the regular. Maybe for celebrations of like finishing a semester of college or finally getting that fucking promotion.

Katelyn definitely smokes it the most when she's living with Irena and Nana. Not having a solid job for a few months really fucked with her stress levels, even if she managed to make it work cause her roommates are awesome. But, she'll only do it outside or in her room and then instantly light a candle to clear out the smell, but they both eventually figure it out. Nana literally walks in on Katelyn lighting a blunt in her room when she's just trying to ask Katelyn what she wants on her pizza. There's a pause, Katelyn answers, and then Nana gives her a thumbs up and leaves.

The next morning Katelyn opens up the fridge and finds a small tray of brownies with her name written on the post-it note slapped onto them. Another note reads "For when you want to be subtle about it ;)"

Nana learned that she could put weed into butter and therefore she could make edibles from one of her sisters randomly showing up in town, dropping a bunch of life lessons and also useless bull shit on her, and then leaving and never elaborating. And the thing Nana mainly got from it is to make her own edibles because it's way cheaper than buying them. Nana doesn't smoke because she has asthma so this is like game changing for her.

She doesn't realize that she even has a chance to know who her dealer is because she's super paranoid about buying it. So she like goes through all these extra steps to hide it and hide her privacy and Blaze literally knows what she smells like and knows who she is, but he gets that people can be hesitant for others to know. Just strange that she's getting all weird about it when he and Katelyn were just hot boxing his car when she texted him.

Most characters have an experience like this. Trying it out for the first time, usually with Blaze or on their own, trying to hide it, only to stumble upon one of their roommates high as balls watching Lord of The Rings at 3 am and realize they're all a bunch of pothead losers and that's fine.

Blaze knows all. Like, he has heard everything. People feel randomly prompted to just start telling him stories from their childhood, confessing in the way of like "haha you wanna know something funny I never told anybody?" and then Laurance confesses he's been in love with Garroth since they were freshman. Or Zane confesses to really liking My Little Pony. Or Dante reveals that he's questioning his gender identity. Blaze just knows all these people on deeper levels than most of them realize if they don't frequently hang out with him.

And if they do, then they know that Blaze is no low level just grows for his friends and accepts tips. No, he's a full blown dealer. he's really strict about rules of wherever he lives, especially when he started dealing to raise money so he could pay tuition at PDH, he didn't want it effecting his family at all. and Blaze can literally chuck you through a window so it's hard for anyone to really pressure him into doing stuff he doesn't want to do. And all he wants to do is grow quality product for everyone to enjoy.

It's why his friends don't mind helping him out sometimes. Like Laurance comes over to his house to ask if he can use Blaze's three foot bong so he gets high enough his body stops cramping, but when he gets there Blaze has some classic rock on and he's just packaging orders and Laurance sits down at the table and joins him.

And while hanging out with Blaze, he always has just the most random wack ass stories. He meets so many strange people in the world, he travels a lot because he's technically unemployed, and he has the wildest adventures that people love hearing about.

Travis and Dante's house always smells different. If they're expecting company they'll use some kind of air fresher, or light candles or incense, or do something to get rid of the smell. But if they have nothing going on? If Travis is on break from classes to get his masters and Dante has the weekend off of work? That house is going to fucking reek for three days. They always take care of it eventually, but when they go on what they jokingly call their benders, they don't bother.

Due to this most people would assume one of the two of them is the biggest stoner on My Street (that isn't Blaze). Or maybe Katelyn and Nana. It's actually Vylad. He's just really good at hiding it.

Vylad got insane stoner rng and is able to be tripping balls and have no visual effect on his eyes. Like maybe they look tired, but they aren't bloodshot, even while he's sitting in a freshly hotboxed room. So Vylad likes hiding it because it confuses his friends and that's just always fun to do.

Despite being so judgemental, Zane oddly never makes any comment about this. If someone's room smells funny or Nana slips a special kind of butter into a batch of cupcakes and insists those are her batch, he doesn't say anything. It's not clear whether he's chill with it or not? Both his brothers smoke, even if Garroth is more infrequent about it, so maybe it's becuase of them? But even then he'll get upset at someone for something but not upset at his brothers when they do the same thing so??

Garroth asks Blaze if Zane smokes one day, and Blaze is just in shock because "You didn't know? Why do you think he wears the mask?" "Because he has facial dysphoria?" "Well, that, and because he can take a sneaky hit from his vape when no one's looking."

Zane has never forgiven Blaze for revealing his secret because now Vylad and Garroth keep asking him for hits.

If you have any specific MS characters that I didn't mention in here, or more in depth headcanons, feel free to send me an ask! I have. A lot. Of these.

[chubbening]

OH MY GOD OKAY HEY so me and a popular artist friend who shall not be named recently got into your fic Calories and Kink and IT IS SO HOT AND SUCH A HUGE INSPIRATION!!!! I literally started my own fic bc of it and I'm trying so hard to do my own things based on my own tastes and not lift too much inspiration xD

I just wanted to ask if any of your characters (Alexa, Reggie, or anyone else) has references? We may or may not be doing gay fanart for your adorable fat lesbian comfort fic.

Also I was stoked to find you're trans (us too)!!! Happy for you, also just learned you're a system!!! You both rock, keep up the good work, you got some real fans here :D

I think you just broke Ava's part of the brain lmao (she'll be fine) but thank you so so so much!! We've gotten so much lovely feedback on this story, and it means so much to us that what started as a kinky little side project has so engaged folks in our corner of the internet <3 Best of luck with your fic! One thing about writing is no one else is gonna do it like you, so even if you take inspiration, it'll still be your own.

It's funny you ask about references, because we've been thinking about commissioning some art for a while, just haven't gotten around to it (*coughcough* $$$). So like, we don't have ref sheets or anything. But (speaking of lifting inspiration) Reggie was originally inspired by one of NekoCrispy's characters, Astrid. Specifically the energy of this piece sparked something. Obviously we made Reggie a maned wolf and very much our own character, but we still think of her shape as similar to Astrid's (while compensating for NekoCrispy's more stylized hips), but 6' tall and with bigger arms ;)

For Alexa, shape- and vibe-wise, we go to https://www.tumblr.com/littlestpigletann. She's been posting since she was a lot smaller, so it's handy to dig back (on various platforms) and get a sense of Alexa at various points in the story. Although, Alexa's probably a bit lankier than Ann, who if I remember is 5'1" (Alexa's 5'6").

Feel free to DM us with any questions (about this stuff or w/e), we love chatting with folks! Honestly feels surreal to have people calling themselves fans and talking about doing art of something we created, like… Obviously no pressure to follow through, but we'd love to see what y'all come up with!!

Woo, trans! Honestly if we had a do-over, the one thing we'd change is making one or both of the MCs trans. We were just at a weird place with our dysphoria when we started writing it, and by the time we got comfier with things, there wasn't enough support in the story to retcon that. That's probably why we started doing more with Ash, tbh.

Okay, last anecdote here, the system thing is so funny in relation to Calories & Kink, because we didn't know we were plural when we wrote most of it, but we 1000% wrote Alexa and Reggie as individual self-inserts. When one of our partners started reading it, she compared us (still unaware) to Reggie because I fronted more during sex, but Ava, the more frequent fronter at the time, was like, "What? No, I'm way more like Alexa."

Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this message <3 We'll be giddy all day now ^^

Promise we'll work on the last few chapters soon--we really do want to give this thing a proper ending.

Take care,

Seija

[leprosycock]

do u have any fav book recs!???? love ur literary mind and would love to know if u have any good must reads sorry this is random

thank you!! i don't read nearly as often as i should but i have a lot of books that i love:

the furry trap by josh simmons is a wildly weird, disgusting, and obscene piece of work that i've loved for years. it's satirical and deranged and very darkly funny and his style is so unique. it's a collection of eleven short comics and some standalone illustrations. my favorites are cock bone, christmas eve, and demonwood, but none of them are bad. at least in my opinion. a lot of people think it's just edgy for edgy's sake, but even if it is, it's still really fucking good. i always find that criticism to be so funny because it's only ever flung at media with any kind of sex and violence and taboos in it.

tender is the flesh by agustina bazterrica is one that a lot of people are familiar with, but it's far from overrated. it's about a world in which cannibalism is legal and humans are bred, bought, and sold for meat. a very lonely, broken, divorced blue-collar man begins to form a bond with a specimen despite any physical contact with her being expressly forbidden. it's twisted and stomach-churning and intimate and i love it.

poison for breakfast by lemony snicket is insanely funny and tender and witty and entertaining. it's essentially an unreliable autobiography that follows strings of consciousness and memories and musings as he panics after getting a note under his door that tells him he had poison for breakfast. it's short and sweet and there are so many wonderful poignant lines throughout it that made me close the book for a second and think for a while.

the wasp factory by iain banks is awesome and it's about a sixteen year old boy named frank with a very fragile older brother who's been sent to a psych ward. frank is ruthlessly violent and unstable and he takes all his anger and frustration and bloodlust out on helpless animals, either human or non. it has a really interesting ambiance to it that traps you in both this violent teenager's headspace and this murky, unsettling little scottish village and things just get worse and worse until you realize you can't get out. highly recommend!

someone who will love you in all your damaged glory by raphael bob-waksberg is a fantastic collection of surreal/sci-fi-based stories that have one foot firmly grounded in realism and very human relationships. it's very vulnerable and tender and tragic and romantic. this is the same author who created bojack horseman, so if you're into that show's brand of drama, you'll really love this

i hope you find me: the love poems of craigslist's missed connections by alan feuer is one of my most favorite little coffee table books ever. it's what it says on the tin: dozens of posts from the missed connections section of craigslist are compiled and wrangled into individual poems and it's really fascinating and it makes my heart ache to see all these very real little individual cases of lost love. i think it's really important to study real people just as much as stories that people can craft.

i luv halloween by benjamin roman and keith giffen is a HIGHLY underrated, EXTREMELY early 00s trilogy about zombies, aliens, and a group of really shitty, violent, obnoxious children who get stuck in the midst of global panic around halloween. it's super edgy and indulgent and gory and gross and childish and it's a whole lotta fun. i go crazy for the art style and the general mindless self indulgence of it all

memories of my melancholy whores (memoria de mis putas tristes) by gabriel garcia marquez is a really lovely and flowery novelette about a ninety year old man who's on his deathbed and he believes that true love will help him feel alive again. he manages to find it in a very young prostitute and reflects on what sets her apart from the others. a lot of people call it the spanish lolita, but it's wildly different. really the only similarities are falling in love with a young girl and realizing she's different than you envisioned her to be at first. it's not for everyone, but i think marquez's prose is beautiful. pretty much everything in his bibliography is worth checking out, he's a genius

holy robots by vasilina orlova is a stunning collection of poetry and it uses the ideas of humans falling in love with and forming lives with machines that try very hard to be human but can't quite do it to illustrate real-world relationship struggles. it also delves into other themes of nature and pure romance as it goes along. it's a quick read and it's so worth checking out, i love it to death

arkham asylum: a serious house on serious earth by grant morrison and dave mckean is a standalone batman comic that's VERY worth reading even if you only have a passive knowledge of batman. it's a beautiful piece of work all on its own. the art style is absolutely fucking gorgeous and it's unlike anything i've ever seen. essentially, the inmates at arkham have overtaken the asylum and batman has to sacrifice himself in order to save the hostages. thus, he subjects himself to brutal psychological torture at the hands of the criminals he's put in the asylum himself and he wastes away little by little. it's good!! it's so good!!!!!

stray toasters by bill sienkiewicz is one of the most intense, gorgeous, twisted, and surreal experiences i've ever had while reading a graphic novel. it might take you a couple of reads for it to really sink in because it's not at all straightforward, but it's a fucking masterpiece of art and writing and it really influenced a lot of my own work and the way i tend to approach art. essentially, it's about a lonely, burnt-out detective who gets released from a psych ward to hunt down a serial killer who's mutilating housewives and young children. it's insanely difficult to find physical copies of, so i would personally just read it online.

[celtrist]

Soooo I don't think I'll be hearing back from that studio I tried to get into contact with, but no matter! I'll still spotlight them as I said I would, and I highly suggest you check out Choc Chip's "The Art of Murder"!

It's very much a love letter to creatives and artists (it's funny because I personally started out making only ocs and fan characters, the fan art only came later, haha). But if you're interested in a murder mystery musical, I highly suggest it!

(I get a bit into personal stuff below ^^')

It is looking like I might be going into factory work potentially seeing as jobs seem a bit scarce (or just all not suited to me, I don't have 3 years of professional experience :/) and commissions aren't active (which that's perfectly fine) So if post-New Year things start to slow down in the art department, that might be why. No matter, no matter how things go down I still plan to do art still! Both commissions and other things!

These last few months have been kind of whiplash for me as I never really experienced having many eyes on my stuff, let alone asking about things I've done (even if it's AU stuff). And while it's totally in part of me just becoming more active here and making fanart (which has also been a breath of fresh air for me and rejuvenated my energy for art) it's still crazy to find that I have over 500 followers. While I know that's not really "big" nowadays, it's still crazy to see as I've always been used to 20 followers or at most 70 watchers back on DeviantART. But I've been loving seeing all the interactions with my art, discussions with posts and polls, and I've met some very sweet people.

So thank you to everyone who's just liked my art, reblogged, followed, even just left a comment and fled. It means a lot. I'll do a proper "New Year's wrap-up message" probably, and this isn't gonna be my last post of the year (most likely), but I have been going through some motions. I don't really know where my art journey is leading me, but I know that there are still plenty of things I want to keep going with it both in a personal and professional sense. Hopefully, I'll get into an animation studio or something some day, it just might not be now. I'm sort of tired of not making any money. And of course, student loans are creeping in, so I need to start being wary of that ^^

Sorry for the random spiel there. Again, I've just been having some Downey thoughts I guess. I like to keep life stuff relatively free around here, unless it counts to something in fiction (like rep in media and media literacy and all that). Again, thank you for all the support that's been given thus far, it's all been very surreal and very sweet.

[emiliasilverova]

[FIC] Achillean Delights

So. I didn't post anything here for the last two days, trying so hard to finish this fic... and just as I'm ready to post, AO3 is DDoSed by greedy arseholes who like neither smut nor LGBTQ+ content.

How ironic.

Ain't nobody stop me from posting shameless LGBTQ+ smut, and you from being able to read it. I did create a Dreamwidth (that I'll likely use to backup my AO3) but I'm too lazy to set it up for now... therefore, see you under the cut for the fic in question (both for length and spice 🌶️).

Before anything, my memory is good enough to remember exactly how I tagged this fic, so there you go:

Title: Achillean Delights Chapters: 1/1  Fandom: GoldenEye (1995), James Bond - All Media Types  Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply  Relationships: James Bond/Alec Trevelyan  Characters: James Bond, Alec Trevelyan  Additional Tags: One Shot, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Shameless Smut, Banter, Oral Sex, First Time Blowjobs, Edging, Power Play, Boys Being Boys, Decadence, Developing Relationship, James Bond Is Good At Sex, Shameless James Bond, Alec Is A Spoiled Brat, They Shared Everything, MI6 Cafe 007 Fest 2023, Community: MI6 Cafe | mi6_cafe  Word Count: 1529 Summary:

Alec spends a lovely, lively time in James's expert hands—not to mention, expert mouth.

As always do give some love to @samanthahirr for the lovely beta ♥️ Some edits she made here are especially *chef kiss*

And now, do enjoy the fic, hehe.

***

Is Alec the victor or the vanquished in this moment? Hell if he knows. All he feels is the supreme pleasure shrouding him whole—sending warm waves through his body, robbing him of any articulate thought.

He’s splayed on a velvety armchair, one of his favourites among the many antiques he owns. All he wears is a wide open shirt; the way it exposes his chest paints an even more indecent picture than if he were naked from head to toe. His bare legs are parted wide; one of his hands curls into short, thick dark hair. Wet sounds and heavy breathing fill the air, their obscenity a heady aphrodisiac.

This is the most exceptional blowjob Alec has ever received, no question about it. He could stay like this forever—head empty, cock surrounded by warm, luscious lips. Very talented lips, of course; Alec wouldn't settle for any less. Or would he? On second thought, skill alone has never made him quite so intoxicated. Perhaps, then, the defining factor isn’t what, but rather whom he’s surrendering himself to.

Case in point, James Bond.

The sight is mesmerising, almost surreal to Alec. James bobbing his head up and down, catching some air and getting right back to work… all with genuine, communicative enthusiasm. James, of all people. The friend, the rival Alec has known for more years than he’d care to count. The man he thought he’d never fuck outside of his most outrageous fantasies, here in the flesh.

Not so long ago, Alec would’ve refused to believe that James could get on his knees of his own accord—let alone with such absolute confidence. Yet there he is, giving a bravura performance as if it were nothing. 

Warmth, wetness, pressure… they're all applied to perfection. Alec can't help but dip his head back and close his eyes, clawing at his own chest to suppress a moan. What little control he has over James or himself quickly dissolves as he drifts off into sweet abandon. Right where he wants to be; dangerously exposed, but in the safest of hands. 

Without warning, James marks a pause in his ministrations. Alec springs back to alertness, but his muscles aren't as quick to engage. All he can do is watch as his long cock drops from James’s mouth. It feels heavy as it rests in the unbearable cold, a deeper shade of red than just a minute ago. 

“What’s so funny?” Alec breathes, catching the hint of derision in James’s oh-so-tantalising grey eyes.

James stands up and takes hold of the shaft’s upper half. When he gives it a gentle squeeze, a glistening bead of precome appears at the tip. “I never figured you were so messy.”

Too languid to fight back, Alec squints. “Good thing you’re here to clean the mess, then, isn't it?”

“Is that all I'm here for?” 

Now James strokes with just his fingertips—too softly to give Alec what he wants, but enough to keep him hard and aching for more. An unacceptable ordeal. Alec’s first instinct is to thrust his hips upwards for more stimulation… but James removes his hand at once. The bastard.

“Your mouth, James,” Alec hisses.

“Good things come to those who wait.”

“Oh, spare me the aphorisms, damn you.”

Alec lunges to pull James’s hair. Less of a dirty move than leaving him high and dry, in his mind. James catches his wrist before he can succeed and drives him back into his seat. Then James bends, inching his face closer and closer. Alec could use his free hand to force it down, but decides to hold James’s cheek instead. Their lips touch; soon enough, they lock into a passionate kiss.

Tasting himself on James’s tongue isn't as intimidating as Alec expected. In fact, it dissipates the last inhibitions he was clinging to. He shifts and captures James’s lower lip, resolute to take the lead. James lets him have his way, but still provides a little resistance to spur on Alec's ardour. The battle ends when they both run out of breath, bringing them to a brief standstill. 

“James…” 

Alec’s whisper is very much a plea at this point. In response, James cups Alec’s face and gazes into his eyes. James’s hands are warm and soothing, his smile tender—although somewhat inscrutable. What’s on his mind exactly? The relish of having Alec at his total mercy? Knowing his insufferable ego, that’s got to be it.

Feigning to go for another kiss, Alec moves his head forward… and bites the lip offered to him. Not so hard as to draw blood, but still making James recoil in surprise.

“Rude, positively rude,” James says, his tone half-disapproving, half-amused as he brings his fingers to his mouth.

It’s Alec’s turn to grin now, full of mischievous defiance. “Keep me waiting any longer, and I’ll be just as rude as you deserve.”

James snorts. The mischief proves contagious; even as he finally kneels down again, he can’t be bothered to hurry up. He doesn’t return to what’s expected of him, either. Alec moves to prod him along, but is caught short by the latest weapon from James’s arsenal—kisses to the inside of his thigh. 

The novel sensation gets the better of Alec, who slumps back into his seat. James jumps at the opportunity for petty revenge and sinks his teeth right into the delicate skin. The infuriating man knows exactly what he’s doing, applying just the right amount of bite to set his victim’s blood ablaze. 

Without realising, Alec caresses himself again. As his other thigh is given equal attention, his wandering hand finds his own erect nipple. He flicks it greedily, his delight too strong for the remnants of his self-consciousness to put up a fight. 

James’s lips on his balls send a jolt through Alec’s body. His toes curl, his hands no longer know where to go; back to his chest, onto the armrests, or into the shiny, crow-black hair—James’s greatest vanity. James licks and lightly pulls, and Alec submits. The all-consuming pleasure almost sends him over the edge, but he manages to hold back. There is no way he’ll let himself be robbed of his climax in James’s mouth, however deep under James’s spell he may get.

When it becomes clear that James’s next target is his swollen tip, Alec’s heart pounds. The moment he’s been yearning for is imminent… or would be, if James would stop teasing him for once in his godforsaken life. Instead, James laps up the slow, thin trickle at the slit, pushing Alec to feverish levels of anticipation. 

“James, for fuck’s sake—”

At last, the wet heat of James’s mouth engulfs his pin-straight cock. Alec lets out a long, uncontrolled moan as intense relief washes over him. He should be livid at how James made him beg for it a second time, but he doesn’t care anymore. This is what he wants, and James is giving it to him… anything else is irrelevant.

The fuse already burns bright within him, lit up by the fast, thorough suction up and down his length. Fingers roll his balls, while others form a tight ring around the base of his shaft, friction eased by a generous coating of precome and saliva. Alec squirms in his armchair, his breath ragged. He tries to keep up with such fervent worship as long as he can, but he knows the inevitable is upon him. 

When Alec sits up and starts pushing down on his head, James doesn’t flinch. Good boy. He keeps sucking in earnest, relentless and undaunted. As the irresistible pressure builds up, Alec’s muscles contract. This is both too much and not enough. He groans and mumbles incoherently—euphoric from being at the centre of the universe, light-headed from being so close. So very close…

Alec cries out, swept away by the force of his orgasm. James firmly holds onto his shaking thighs, but doesn’t remove his mouth as Alec fills it with warm come. Alec’s cock keeps pulsing for a few seconds, as long as it takes to release so many years’ worth of longing. There is nothing left on his mind during this incredible high… save for complete, unadulterated satisfaction.

James lets go, and Alec collapses, panting. Numbing weakness takes hold of him as he basks in the afterglow. After some time, he manages to half-open his eyes again—only to be greeted by the most handsome sight he’s ever witnessed. James looking at him with a sly smile, his sun-kissed skin shining with a thin sheen of sweat, dishevelled and untidy. Alec wants to kiss him hard, to mark him as his conquest… but that would have to wait until he can move again. For now, all he can do is smile back.

In response, James bends over him again. Alec expects a kiss, but he couldn’t be more wrong. James takes his softening cock as deep as he can, puckers his lips tight and slides off in one expert motion. He gives a few more licks to leave Alec impeccably clean, and swallows.

Alec cannot believe his eyes. “Good lord, James.”

James chuckles, shameless. Then, in his most suave tone, he answers, “I aim to please.”

[philhoffman]

In lieu of a Monday Philm post tonight, I wanted to tell y'all about the long weekend I had in Western New York. I took a very special trip up to Phil's hometown of Rochester, NY, for a special 35mm screening of Owning Mahowny—which ended up being one of the best nights of my life. TL;DR I met his family and got to tell them how much he is loved ❤️

As some of you might know, the Eastman Museum in Rochester is now the permanent home of PSH's statue, and to celebrate, the museum's Dryden Theatre is showing his films all year long. I've been dying to see Phil's hometown and especially the statue since it was unveiled last year and finally made it (many hours and several hundred miles in the rain) up to WNY for a couple days. Y'all I can't even tell you how excited I was just to be in Rochester, like geeking over everything. We visited Fairport, where Phil grew up, and went to a restaurant with a burger named after him (yum), and got his fave kind of donuts at the Wegmans where he worked as a cashier in high school (I told you, geeking HARD). It's such a nice, friendly city and so many little things about Phil clicked just being there.

We went to the Eastman Museum first thing Saturday morning to see his statue and it's so perfect. Yes I cried a little bit as soon as I walked up to it! I don't need to tell y'all how much Phil means to me and finally seeing this public tribute to him, which looks so good and is so approachable and huggable and real and lovely, was amazing. Passed it four times going in and out of the museum and made my mom take my photo with him every time :-)

That night was the 35mm screening of Owning Mahowny. Already one of my favorite PSH films, I recently finished the book it's based on—No Limit: The Incredible Obsession of Brian Molony by Gary Ross—which is just as engrossing and made me even more excited to rewatch the film on the big screen. We were the first people to the theater bc I was so anxious to be there lmao.

I recognized Phil's mother, Marilyn, and his older sister, Jill, who arrived about 20 minutes before the film and sat a few seats away. My anxiety was through the ROOF—I am very shy in person, but I knew I'd regret it if I didn't say anything and since this was a PSH-related event I figured they probably wouldn't mind if I brought him up. Thanks to Phil I have a hundred times more confidence than I did just a few years ago, so I worked up my courage and went over to introduce myself, tell them my name and how far I came just to see the statue and the film, how much I admire Phil and his work.

Y'all I'm tearing up again just typing this because they were the nicest people I have ever met in my life, seriously. His mom and his sister were immediately so kind that my nerves melted away, it was like talking to friends. They were touched that I'd come so far, they thanked ME for coming over to say hello. I shook their hands and we had a whole conversation for several minutes—I got to tell them that Phil changed my life, how I've seen all of his films, the ways he's inspired me to make my own art. I can't even believe I am writing this because it was so surreal and incredible. They asked me so much about my trip and myself, which is cute because I've heard so many stories about how Phil always asked people about themselves, their lives, their families, their work. His mom asked if I'd seen the statue (of course!!!) and told me to make sure I took a selfie with him :''''') so obviously I took another one when we left <3

Jill and I talked about Owning Mahowny and gambling while my mom talked to Phil's mom (like how is it even real that I'm saying that?), then Marilyn told a funny, sweet story about when Phil was filming Mahowny in Toronto in 2002. One day he called and asked to come home for a while, then drove down and spent the day with her watching hours of dailies of the same exact shot, scrutinizing each take and laboriously trying to decide on the best one—and his mom was like, "Phil, what are we searching for, these all look the same to me" LMAO 😭

The film itself was obviously amazing, no need for a full review here. Equally wonderful to share it with a big audience laughing, cringing, gasping, crying, smiling. The 35mm print looked beautiful. As we were leaving, Phil's sister made a point to catch my eye and thank me again for stopping to say hello! We said goodbye to her and Marilyn and they wished us a great rest of our trip to Niagara Falls the next day—it was so sweet they remembered I'd even mentioned it.

I hardly slept that night I was so excited lol. It's been two days and it still feels surreal. I'm repeating myself but I can't get over how warm and kind they both were, how we were all kind of moved almost to the point of tears talking about their beautiful son and brother, my hero, the artist and man who saved my life and brought us all together. I'm so so so grateful for the opportunity to tell them what Phil means to me. Since then I've had a million thoughts like "oh I wish I'd said this or that," but really it would be impossible to sum up in words, even if we had all the time in the world, everything I want to say. I said it before but it's easy to understand how Phil turned out to be such an amazing person, coming from a family like that.

One of the simplest yet most meaningful couple of days in my whole life. It was better than I could've hoped for. Mostly joy—and while there was some grieving and missing him, too, I know it all came from love. I feel closer to Phil than ever. Thank you for making me feel so welcome in your home, Phil. Words are never enough but I love you so much, we're all so proud of you.

[donnyclaws]

Your last post I get what you're saying, but also I feel like I cannot say that either because it's your very own personal project

I've got the same stuff going on with a story so dear to me as I projected so much unchecked mental illness/traumas and showing snippets of it to the world would feel like me being naked in public, I just can't describe it but I feel comfort in seeing someone having something similar to what I feel with my own oc's

They're like funny guys you one day made out of impulse but not they're following you for life their story grow as yourself grow too, the odd writer struggle stuff

But anyways I love your work, been following you for years and I Gen love how your art just gets more lively every year, in a way that it looks like you're taking more control of it?? I don't know, but I can just feel that you're more confident than before with your newer work and I think it's beautiful to see such raw art around. Always brings me a smile to see it on my tl

(In reference to my post about formatting tiger crawl home as a story, I let this one sit for a MINUTE)

I'm always glad to hear other people having a similar brain guys. It's complicated but also very passionate and comforting and interesting and raw. And yeah god having their growth tied to yours is so surreal, I dont know how to write my characters recovering, I'm stuck and progressing in ways that leaves them also stuck and progressing. They're living things and not a direct story with resolution. Yk yk

Anyway thank you so much, I'm really really happy with the direction of my art in the last few years, hyped to get weirder and cooler and more empassioned about everything.

[midnights-wish]

|| 06.04.2024, saturday. ||

i've been thinking a lot about 'eleanor oliphant is completely fine' the last day or two.

to give a quick synopsis, the book is about eleanor, who has had a very traumatic past & is thus struggling in her adult life; she's got some odd ideas about how things should be, but also problems when it comes to the social aspect of things. i won't say how it ends, because the book is very well-written & i feel it is worth finding out yourself.

the one thing i have a difficulty grappling with, though, is that the book is described as 'funny' - both by critics & according to storygraph's genre categorization. and i've been wondering whether i'm one of the fewer people who didn't see the humour? because for me, a lot of the realizations eleanor made about other people, about herself, about how to socialize, etc., are things that i had to make & discover myself ---- & you know, as far as i understand, her moments of realization, i assume, are supposed to be the funny bits. because those are such logical conclusions to make, something that should be so clear that it is considered 'funny' that one even needed to think about these things for so long. but for me, on the other hand, the conclusions she made, & the way she formulated those conclusions to herself, are very very similar to what i would think to myself when i understood these simple truths of life (& sometimes, still do). so to me, the book wasn't funny at all, but just deeply emotional & it awoke quite a few memories of when i first understood these things.

i also don't mean to be misunderstood here: i'm not saying that the book isn't funny just because there's people who went through similar realizations as eleanor did - i'm sure in a few years time, when i'm (hopefully) done understanding how things work myself, i'll pick the book up again & see the humour in it, maybe even laugh at myself, that other people will do the same and probably already do. what i'm trying to process with this ramble, is more the realization of how big the gap between my way of thinking about how to socialize and going about life & the way other people think about socializing and life still is. while reading the book it was kind of surreal to me, is what i'm trying to say, how differently these situations in the book are perceived just because of differing experiences.

(i feel the need to clarify something, because i don't want to have any misconceptions created even if only a handful of people choose to read this post -- i did not have a traumatic upbringing. what i did have was an authority figure in my life who made me feel & think horrible things about myself, other people, & how the world works. while this may sound kind of bad, i don't think that this is enough to call it 'traumatic', simply because i have taken charge of things & learned how to correct them myself. still not completely done, obviously, but i figured out the solutions & i'm working diligently on it. however, the results of having to deal with that person caused me to live with the need to hide from people & experiences, which is why i lacked social skills & a simple understanding of the world. f.e., i didn't understand that if i wanted something, i could just ask for it or take actions to get it myself -- i didn't feel i deserved it, i didn't feel i was the type of person who was allowed to. these were things i had to understand and learn first, & that journey led me to make a lot of the similar conclusions (& also a quite a few not mentioned in the book) eleanor herself had to make. my experiences regarding bettering myself are what this ramble is focused on)

[klappert-art]

It's my 5 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳 --- Wow it's been 5 years since I tried to learn to draw properly and post them here 😅

Long rambling under the cut

Honestly it was pretty challenging for me because my study (when I started this blog) was pretty intense, also I live at home, commute every day to go to class so finding time & energy to draw is out of the window. I'm always amazed that most of my fav artists are real university students too, who probably have it even harder than me but they can draw a lot better... So why can't I??

The thing that I learned over time is, I improved faster when I draw fan arts. Because I have real and strict references to follow, unlike when I do OC where I usually just random bullshit go. That's why you see me posted fan arts more here. I just do my favorite fandom to motivate myself lol.

I am a picky person regarding fandom because mentally I can't handle so many heartbreaks (HAHA). And I need a fandom with diverse things to draw. Fate series is very perfect for me. I really like their ideas and the characters are just challenging. I've been into it since 2016-2017 and my pre-Fate art compared to today is... dkgeagwefgwk. I owe my skill growth to this fandom. My first post here was a Tomoe Gozen fan art 😂

I got into radar twice (which is still weird and unbelievable) because of a Noragami FA and my first A:TLA FA ever posted. Which was funny, because I don't draw them that much. But then again, my first "exposure" was from a random Taylor Swift ink art for a random inktober in 2019. That was so surreal lol.

Maybe you notice another fandom I draw a lot too, yes the game of all people in this world: Genshin Impact. Man, I started the game in release and thought "I have to make at least one fan art with the scenery of the game, and maybe this gonna be my first and last GI fan art." And look where we are now. I didn't expect this game would blow up, I believe the first FA I posted was one of the earliest Genshin post on tumblr 😂.I started doing GI FA also because I am mesmerized by the landscape and want to draw landscapes better. You see, there's this kind of reason in EVERY media I'm involving myself into. I simply like pretty and cool things. Sadly at some point the fandom is hell, so I like to take a step back sometimes.

Few months ago I also did some vtubers FA. Although mostly HoloID only, simply because I'm proud of them. Vtuber community has this unique relationship between Vtubers and derivative works, so you can feel real accomplishment when you showed your work to them.

Still, I still highly prefer to make real good original art and story someday. For now, I guess I have to grind first, because my current level is still not where I want to be yet to achieve that.

I use tumblr to post because I like the blogging and tagging system, however this site isn't popular in my country and my marketing for local cons isn't effective if I only use tumblr. I have IG, but I don't like it, thinking I should make twitter or something. AAaaA. My wish for now is to make many money with art lol (at least to supply my disposable income).

And some little things about myself, I'm working now, but not in creating art/design field. It's more of a history and research field (I do still interested in design... if I have the chance--yes I graduated from design thingy school). This blog is like... my creative outlet. The girl on my avatar is my OC Klappy, a gjinka of klappertaart. Klappertaart is the name of an Indonesian dessert (well, the name itself is dutch I guess) made from coconut topped with raisins. Dalr is an acronym from my real name. Thanks for reading, have a good day.