#who is this hell for tour 2024 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dear-ao3 · 2 months ago

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the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long).

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go.

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now.

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness:

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory.

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago.

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki.

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding.

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where!

ferrari? no that would be too obvious.

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show!

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025.

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power.

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari.

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical.

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can.

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile.

but! there is more!

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off.

and with that. the baku lore.

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events.

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

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speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls.

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks.

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right?

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying.

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say.

but alas. qualifying.

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE.

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box.

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that.

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster)

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won.

and franco has never been to baku before.

i think that's all the exposition that we need here.

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3.

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice.

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando.

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault)

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag.

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader.

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up.

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled.

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow”

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon.

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th.

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race.

steaming on forward to q3.

we had, for review, in q3 the following:

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri.

right out the gate it was wild.

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment.

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer.

here were the standings:

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap.

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results:

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit.

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race.

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth.

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid.

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a spot to nico.

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio.

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being.

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL.

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past.

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break.

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th.

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap.

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo.

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly.

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando.

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do?

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race.

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits.

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo.

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control.

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done.

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place.

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said.

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.”

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not.

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to.

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working.

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando.

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too.

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct.

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem.

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.”

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship.

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!!

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened.

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash.

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car.

which meant

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3!

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit!

“yes!” he whispered over the radio.

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating.

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he also got driver of the day!

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting.

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner”

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice.

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled:

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran:

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically.

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters.

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now”

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.”

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram.

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today!

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now.

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren.

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise.

see you all soon!!!

#not a tag #from saph #saph explains silly season 2024 #im so sorry this is so late i am sooooo sorry aaaaaa #i will get my shit together #baku 2024 #Instagram #Youtube

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fahye · 5 months ago

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book recs: june 2024

it's been a weird few months of swinging wildly between mood reading of new things and needing to reread old favourites. all of these were new-to-me, and * means I read an ARC so they're not out yet BUT keep your eyes peeled/preorder if you like the sound of them.

SOMEONE YOU CAN BUILD A NEST IN by john wiswell - sapphic monster romance but make it asexual rep (woo!) between a protagonist who is usually a ball of shapeshifting goo, and a woman whose awful family is trying to hunt down the shapeshifting monster. it's both delightfully gruesome and a sweet, angry story about two hurt people finding and saving one another. this book deserves to become tumblr-famous.

LORD OF SCOUNDRELS by loretta chase - an absolute platinum-level classic in regency romance history, and for good reason. jessica trent: best heroine to ever appear on the page. wild hijinks, superb feelings, jessica can we please be best friends so you can teach me all about your antiques dealership.

THE SAINT OF BRIGHT DOORS by vajra chandrasekera - everyone describes this as 'impossible to describe' and they're right. truly original urban-ish fantasy about the oppression of underclasses, magic, identity, the inconvenience of being prophesied to kill your father, and a support group for failed messiahs. it's splendid and will stretch your mind like a muscle.

ALL THE SINNERS BLEED - by s.a. cosby - a contemporary crime thriller about a black sheriff in the american south trying to catch a serial killer in the face of systemic racism and obstruction. dark themes, wonderfully written, extremely gripping: I read it in a day.

THE UNDERHISTORY by kaaron warren - an elderly woman running tours of her infamously 'haunted' family home is confronted with a group of dangerous escaped killers looking for somewhere to hide. half slowburn crime horror and half a fantastic, meandering exploration of one person's history. you all know I love a vaguely fucked-up house, and this one comes with an older protagonist hiding secrets of her own.

THE DEATH OF VIVEK OJI by akwaeke emezi - there's a new emezi book coming out soon so I finally let myself read this one! a brief, bittersweet slap of a novel about gender and sexuality and family and longing, told in emezi's uniquely electrifying prose style. I wish I could write like this.

THE FRIEND ZONE EXPERIMENT* by zen cho - zen's first contemporary romance! inspired by kdrama tropes! a hardworking singaporean entrepreneur heroine in london! I enjoyed the romance itself but even more I enjoyed watching renee fight to prove herself in the face of various terrible men.

THE FORMIDABLE MISS CASSIDY* by meihan boey - if susan sto helit is your favourite discworld character, you will love the hell out of this. no-nonsense magical governess deals with folklore monsters and social drama in 19th century singapore. lively and heaps of fun. I wish it was an episodic buffy-esque tv show.

THE PAIRING* by casey mcquiston - two exes accidentally reunite on a food & wine tour of europe for the sluttiest and most self-indulgent bisexual summer ever. food porn, drinks porn, european scenery porn, feelings porn, porn-porn: this is a book that is 95% Various Vibes and Porn and if that sounds like your kind of thing, you'll love it. warning: will make you very hungry.

#book recs

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megismyname · 11 days ago

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I’m gonna need someone to tell me how as a fan of Nicola, you are supportive of “news publications” referring to her as “Jake’s Girlfriend.” How the hell do you NOT find this offensive AS FUCK.

This 37 year old woman has worked her ass off most of her adult life to get where she is. She was the lead of the biggest show of the summer. She has spent most of 2024 either on a film set or traveling the world on a press tour. She doesn’t know the meaning of rest. But you are okay reducing her to the “girlfriend” of some 24 year old who has a bit role in an upcoming film.

Before ANYONE comes for me - this has nothing to do with Luke so you can leave him out of this. I would react the exact same way if that article had Luke’s name in that sentence. NO WOMAN IS JUST “THIS GUY’S” GIRLFRIEND. So if you’re gonna come at me with that shit - you can go fuck all the way off right now.

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE OVERSEXUALIZATION Y’ALL ARE GUILTY OF. It borders on straight up sexual harassment at this point. Let’s remember that 95% of the time group chat comments don’t stay in group chats. 😉

It is well known that a certain group of you more than lost the plot a long long time ago and you should know that karma is gonna come for y’all AND your fearless leader - I can more than assume that.

So put some fucking RESPECT on Nicola Coughlan’s name. And if you can’t do that, get off the internet and go touch some grass - preferably some on an interstate median.

#gtfo #lukola #nicola coughlan

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natigail · 9 months ago

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"I think, as you may have clocked in the show, from a period of time when I was feeling a certain way. It was towards the end of 2021, early 2022, where I was a bit, like, I need to do something. I have been on this hiatus, there has been a literal pandemic, the vibes are not amazing, and so I very much was like, I want to... Look. With Basically I'm Gay, I wrote myself out of the closet. Right? I used the hell that my career has trapped me in as an obligatory way to force my hand to rip the plaster off and confront my sexuality. Which was a good thing! Without all of you, without the internet, who knows? I might be in the closet, being a sad lawyer right now. Legitimately. And it was kind of the same thing here. I was, like, I want to just start creating a piece of entertainment and then maybe I'll entertain myself out of a hole. And if I go on a tour, then I'll get to touch grass. I'll get to smell the fresh air of Chicago, Illinois and wherever the fuck. I guess Helsinki had fresh air. Shout out to Europe. Ehm, and yeah. It was literally like a self-fulfilling prophecy, right? It was like writing the show and doing the show was the thing that I needed and here we are!" - Dan Howell, post-live premiere of we’re all doomed, 25th of February 2024

BIG and WAD are both such incredible things and I am emotional about the fact that he can sort out something so complex and private through sharing it with his audience.

Quotes from Dan (150/?)

#dan howell #we're all doomed #dan and phil #dan quotes #basically i'm gay

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dollypopup · 5 months ago

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The way some of y'all talk about Luke Newton is just. . .I need this fandom to check itself with a swiftness, because the very thinly veiled ableism is ENOUGH. Like it is WILD to see, in the year of our lord 2024, people either actively infantalizing or talking down this grown man.

Calling Luke Newton stupid for behaviors that are just him displaying his Neurodivergence? Ableism. Saying it because it takes him longer to answer a question is ableism. Saying it because he said something 'incorrectly' or not as eloquently on the fly as his neurotypical costars? Ableism.

Saying he's boring because he's quiet or he doesn't talk as much (because he often needs more processing time and/or has anxiety to surmount) is ableism. Knitpicking his social media and how he doesn't interact as much with a fandom that has actively been cruel to him is ableism.

Assuming Luke is out here like some helpless little lamb clinging to Nicola because 'oh, she's his comfort person!' instead of recognizing that they both lean on and like each other? Is ableism. Saying he has a one sided infatuation with her BECAUSE he needs her as said comfort person is ableism. Essentially being all 'awwww, poor wee baby, he has anxiety so thankfully his neurotypical costar is there to pick up the slack!' is. ableism. You cannot in one breath say that Nicola's love language is touch but also that Luke is the only one ever reaching to hold her hand because he needs her to ground him. That's ableism.

They both like each other. They have a very close relationship and they both clearly admire the other and like to be around one another. To frame it as him being some inept toddler and her as his more capable caretaker and 'thank God he has her to give him the save' is ableism! That's ableism, babes!! And in many cases people don't recognize that's what they're taking part in, but that's what it is.

He is a grown man and a hell of an actor. Yes, he's quieter than some of his costars. Yes, he contemplates what he says in his mind before he says it, and it takes him some time to do so. Yes, he doesn't behave the way his neurotypical peers do. He doesn't have to. He won't- because he has a neurodivergent brain. And he shouldn't have to behave as a neurotypical person or an 'acceptable' neurodivergent person to have respect from people who claim to be his fans.

He's been outspoken and unapologetic about being a neurodivergent actor with ADHD and dyslexia and how that can contribute to difficulties in the current media machine. He has discussed his coping mechanisms. He has specifically done so because he knows how difficult it can be to be a neurodivergent person in the limelight, and he uses that spotlight to show other neurodivergent actors they can be successful, too. And people saw this openly neurodivergent man and said some mad out of pocket nonsense about him.

As the tour comes to a close, I just really need people to look back on their beliefs and viewpoints during it and do some reflection, because I am side-eying a LOT of takes that have gone largely uncontested.

#luke newton #nicola coughlan #lukola #bridgerton #polin #like i am neurodivergent and sure i'm a bubbly person who gabs a lot but that doesn't mean my neurodivergent bestie #who is more quiet and manifests her identity in a way that's different to mine is less capable or fun #it just means we're two different flavours of neurodivergence #and if anyone EVER spoke about her the way some of y'all are speaking about LN? we'd be throwing down #not every ND person is the same but ALL ND people deserve a life free of ableist rhetoric and viewpoints #the way this fandom has minimized his accomplishments and cooed over their forced helplessness of him has made me sick #some of y'all should straight up do some soul searching #if you are neurotypical and you want to come on this post with some nonsense- i am telling you now: don't

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nova2kss · 4 months ago

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Influencer island

“GOOD MORNING AMERICAAAA”

“I’m your host Yanna Bailey and we are back here on the influencer island”.

“On the previous episode we introduced the men that dared to step foot on this island and you guys went absolutely wild!”

“I know we picked a top tier cast but damn, #theinfluencerisland number 1 trending on twitter?”

“You bitches are eating it up, so I know for a fact when we introduce these ladies yall are going to be in absolute shambles.”

“Starting off hot as HELL”

“….sorry y’all I had to take a breath.”

“It’s Mikasa fucking Ackerman”

“I fucking love her okay! And I’m not gon lie I don’t know if ima be able to host this show…you can’t put Mika in a room with Yanna cause ima jump on this woman bones.”

“Anywho.. Mika is a celebrity nail tech and hair dresser, you’ve seen her on tour with Victoria Monet, Megan the stallion, so many more but most importantly ? Cardi B!”

“Yes the girl who gives cardi those gorgeous claws and the girl who be giving cardi that long ass weave that be tickling her ass crack that is THE Mikasa Ackerman.

Aside from her gorgeous looks and work she is a party animal and you can see her turning up in multiple crowds of the artists that she stays with…let’s see if she can bring that same energy to the island.”

“Gosh I am so excited to introduce this next hottie, she so soft spoken but I heard she gives it up pretty wild off the camera, as you know she is a pretty new influencer so I think she’s coming in here with something to prove.”

“The gorgeous blonde baker Historia Reiss”

“So off topic but her name is sooo cute”

“Historia went viral showing her tremendous cooking skills back in mid 2023, and since then she’s been going viral for baked goods and beauty.”

“But let’s not forget about the time this little firecracker whooped ass at a Fourth of July party THIS YEAR!”

“Something that not only myself but the fans were not excepting, I know you guys are gonna be so happy to see her on here”

“We’ve seen how Historia gives it up in the in the kitchen, we’ve seen how she gives it up in the field, now it’s time to see if she can hang with these animals on this island”

“As stated she is pretty like an angel but the call her the devil…(there were no lies told)”

“Sasha braus first rose to fame on TikTok reviewing foods and looking so hot with that gorgeous maroon hair”

“You can see her with the talented man himself Jean Kristen, according to them they are childhood best friends and we’ve seen Jean and party mode but never sash…that’s gonna change on this island.”

“Sasha was ranked on the 2024 top 20 comedians list at #12, I can honestly see why everyone loves Sasha pretty, hilarious, and relatable… mhm she’s gonna fit right in here”

“Calypso, calypso, calypso…mhm girl you are gonna get me in TROUBLE”

“This short haired hottie calypso blue has been on a longgggg break from the internet and the only time we’ve seen her is when she popped outside with her influencer bestie y/n”

“And mind y’all we only knew it was her cause of them famous short hair..”

“Well let me tell yall, after a damn near year long hiatus she has popped out and boy oh BOY!”

“This girlie done came back with some longer hair, and some Tatts…?? We already knew calypso blue was a hottie but this?? Oh she is taking it hunty”

“The intro is no longer needed calypso blue is here and you’ll be seeing her first hand on influencer island.”

“…..I don’t like this bitch.”

“But it’s my job to introduce her.”

“Ummm so i really don’t know who picked her BUT this is Pieck finger, she’s a black haired bitch who party’s a lot fucked porco on video tried to get at my nigga and I’m probably gonna beat her ass.”

“On a brighter note we know she can party cause it’s all she does, no questions asked she could get as wild as the other guys and gals…NEXT”

“Our next and final blondie is Mrs. Hitch”

“And according to her Rihanna’s faviorite which I’m pretty sure the whole internet disagrees with but..I digress.”

“Beautiful girl who rose to fame back in 2022 being spotted with Rihanna and I mean if you’re being spotted with someone as big as mofucking riri you think we not finna check you out?”

“But besides being ri right hand women it’s time to see what else hitchey can do…you know without the co-sign ”

“The beautiful Ryan!!”

“Ryan is the owner of the ASOS clothing brand which is a brand for plus sized men and women.”

“She became very popular on TikTok while promoting her clothing brand and since then she’s taken off with so many sells, fans and followers”

“We know she can design the hell out some clothes but I wanna know what it she gonna do once her toes hit this sand.”

“As y’all known she’s known to be a shy girl and doesn’t party much…BUT WE CANT BE HAVIN THAT HAIR”

“So we gone need Ryan to come up out her shell and hopefully survive on this long awaited journey”

“And finally we have the beauty, the mogul, the TOP influencer y/n”

“She needs to intro we all know her”

“And we all love her”

“She is THE beauty influencer, 9 time outta 10 if you’re searching tips and tricks you’re on her page scrolling endlessly”

“I’ve partied with this city girl before so I know how she gives it up now it’s your turn to see and boy I cannot wait for you to see, you guys fav isn’t as innocent as you think”

“Whew lord I pray for the beds in this house cause with these fine ass men and these gorgeous women I feel like they’ll be broke before we ever get to finish filming.”

“Know that you know which of your favs will be participating in the match a vote will be up shortly you can choose who you want to stay or go before they even get into the house, and remember to chose wisely after all you don’t want the wrong person to get that 1 million dollar check.”

“I’m your host Yanna Bailey signing out, make sure you stay tuned for the pilot of influencer Island.”

The girlies are here!!!! Sorry if I didn’t add an aot character that you wanted, I needed my sexy ocs to shine 😁

Idk if you guys peeped but I tried to do different shades of black for y/n but yea first ep coming soon and make sure to vote on the poll !!

❤️

#aot fandom #black writers #black reader #connie springer #onyankopon smut #connie smut #armin arlet headcanons #eren x black reader #eren jeager smut #connie springer x black reader smut #influencerisland #reality tv au #snk

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lifelaughloveharrystyles · 6 months ago

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Ross Lynch: givemewhatuwant

*on tour with the driver era 2024*

“Y/N do you know where we are at?” Garrison calls from the back of the bus with all the boys.

The Driver Era has been on tour for about a month now, traveling all over the east coast showcasing their phenomenal songs that they made from scratch. I had the amazing opportunity to come on the tour as one of the equipment managers. This has been my biggest dream in my career, working at “The Doors Rock Shop”. It’s a well known instrument company in Atlanta Georgia where people would go to get a guitar and a crystal at the same time. I got this amazing job with touring The Driver Era with my cousin Poppy who is with us on tour as one of the tour photographers.

“Y/N!” Ryland shouts from the back. I look outside to see we are about to arrive to the venue in Asheville North Carolina. “we are about to pull up to the venue guys!” I said looking to the back of the bus and I see Ross in the hall with just pajamas pants on. “Word! i’m ready to stretch my legs and get out and move.” Ross said stretching his arms looking like he just woke up from a nap.

Ross and I have gotten really close on this tour. i’m normally not on their bus, i travel in a large van behind the bus with the crew. We haven’t stopped talking to each other whether it’s in person while im helping carry his beautiful gibson to him when he goes in for his solos or text. We make these jokes everytime I have to give his guitar to him in a show and I always make a bet with him about how many girls will scream “take your shirt off!”. Secretly I was jealous I couldn’t be those beautiful girls making him smile and shake his hips like that and pleading to take his shirt off for me. Having him as a friend is the best, I just know he could never like me that way. I’m his equipment manager, I lift speakers and drums for a living and he’s a fucking rockstar sex god. I mean look at his recent ex. like how can I compare to Jaz Sinclair. I have to be just a friend to protect myself from that energy.

Everyone ends up scattering across the venue to start their projects for the day. The show starts at 8 so I scramble around to the strings van to transfer the instruments to their spots on the stage so the boys can start soundchecking and tuning their guitars to the songs.

“Y/N why is it you’re always the one carrying the most stuff in the building when Greg is suppose to do that because of your knee.” Riker says from the green room where I walked in with a coffee for myself and him. “Riker i’m telling you Greg is so fucking slow I can’t bear watching him take 45 minutes to set up a guitar stand. I gotta get the shit done so I can actually enjoy myself for the day.” I express to him and i’m frazzled pinging from one corner of the stage to the other figuring out all the wires and amps so they can start their sound check.

“Y/N take a deep breath or a certain someone is going to come in here and see this and raise hell.” Riker laughed as he secretly points in the direction of Ross and Rocky’s green room. I roll my eyes and wave him off not believing a word he said.

Riker thinks he’s slick with trying to hook me up with Ross ever since we started the tour. i’ve seen the small hints of asking ross to come to me when he can’t find the setlist or where his extra picks are. Riker is basically our tour mom, he is making everyone smoothies and making sure everyone is hydrated before every show. Besides Ross, me and Riker have been attached to the hip.

“Shut up Riker before I grab a pair of scissors and cut your bass strings” I jokingly threaten him with a huge smile on my face.

“Oh God Riker what did you do to piss Y/N off again?” Ross said coming out of the side stage with a vintage baseball cap that says “i’m a local celebrity” with a white tee and baggy light washed denim pants. he slings his arm over my shoulder making us sway to the random song playing on the speakers. I look up to see him already looking down at me with that infamous smile he wears. “Nice Hat pretty boy.” i laughed and flicked the bill of the hat. “So which songs are we playing tonight? any newbies?” I smile back at him really hoping he’ll play one of my favorite songs at the show tonight. “Yes Y/N we are playing givemewhatuwant and Natural if that’s what you’re asking.” he chuckles and pulls away from me to pick up his guitar to start sound checking. I squeal and jump off the stage and start jogging to the doors to get the rest of the equipment “YES ROSS YOURE THE BEST” I scream at him and blow him a friendly kiss as I run out the door.

*Ross’ POV*

Y/N is the most precious and loving human I have ever met. she just brightens the room when she walks in. Whether it’s her bubbly personality or just her energy she radiates, it’s one of the reasons why I love having her close by. She makes me feel like life is worth living again. Heartbreak after heartbreak, I felt like love isn’t an option for me anymore. I have thousands of people falling at my feet but it never fills the void of feeling unloved. Hookups and one night stands can only do so much to the point even sex isn’t appealing to you anymore. Ever since Y/N walked into my life, it’s has taken a complete 180. I feel lighter. happier. I wake up excited for the day knowing I get to see and talk to the most beautiful woman I have ever met. She doesn’t compare to any girl I have ever been with or even seen. Befriending her was my first hit in the game and i’m ready for the home run. I want her to be mine. I need her to be my girl. I feel like I can’t live life without her by my side. she completes me in a way I have never felt before. I’m worried i’ll scare her away if I confess what i’ve been feeling inside. I just need to rip the bandaid and just go for it, be a man and express this to this wonderful girl.

*10 minutes before showtime*

*Y/N POV*

“what’s our bet tonight Ross?” I ask him walking up to the band. I just finished helping set up the stage for The Driver Era after Valé’s performance. She did amazing as she does every night. Tonight however the energy feels a bit off. Ross looks like he’s in his head about something and I just don’t know what. Everything went smoothly today and the crowd already has such a good vibe for the night, there’s nothing else to worry about. “Ross? You good?” I asked while rubbing his arm while he looks off in the distance.

“Yeah i’m good, just in my head a bit. Nothing to worry about, probably stage fright.” he has a fake smile plastered on his face to try and not worry me. I know him better than anyone that he is in his head about something and it’s definitely not stage fright.

“Do you need to talk before you go on? you are not good. you can try and fake smile at me but you know it’s not going to work. What’s going on in that head of yours?” I step forward to see his full face instead of the side and look up in those beautiful hazel brown eyes he adorns on his face. he sighs loudly and closes his eyes before opening them he says. “Y/N there’s been a lot of shit going on in my life and ever since I met you, it seems like everything disappeared when you walked in the room. You make me so happy and giddy to the point I get antsy when I don’t see you first thing in the morning. You light up my life and I know we only have known each other for a month but I feel it. My God I hope you feel it too so I don’t feel like the biggest idiot before this sold out show. I like you Y/N, I don’t want to wake up without you by my side. Please tell me you feel the same.” he pleads and grabs

my face in his hands and put his forehead to mine.

“Just shut up and kiss me Ross. I’ve been waiting way too long for you to say those words. I just need your lips on mine before you-“ he slams his lips on mine before I could sentence my sentence. I wrap my arms around his neck melting in his arms loving every second of this moment.

“Ross let’s go! you’ll have plenty of time to make out with Y/N after the show, come on!” Rocky shouts from the side stage making us break away from our heavy kiss. I smile and push him towards his brother. “Lucky for you i’m going to be in the pit with Poppy helping her take photos. I promise to get the best angles, I might sneak a couple just for my entertainment.” I smirk and he laughs and kisses my cheek and runs on stage right on his cue.

The boys are rocking out and came out full throttle. I’ve been helping poppy this show because one of the extra photographers called out and couldn’t make it. I can already feel the energy in this knowing it’s gonna be a great night. “ Y/N why has Ross been staring and smirking at you all night? Did he finally have the balls to do it?” She smirks at me side glancing to the stage. I look up and sure enough he’s staring at me with hooded eyes with his hair clinging to his sweaty forehead. He squats down to my level and curls his finger for me to come closer. I take a step towards him and he whispers “you are making it incredibly hard for me to stop this show and take you backstage to have my girl strip that skirt off so I can fuck that beautiful pussy.” he kisses my earlobe and pulls away before I could even react. my jaw drops and I step back and look at poppy and she’s busting out laughing at my reactions and hugs me and squeals in excitement. She always said from day one that Ross will end up falling over me. I brushed it out because of stupidity and insecurities. Now i’m like ‘fuck she’s right…. again’.

“That man is already planning the wedding in his brain and he hasn’t even gotten in your pants yet. I saw the kiss when I was setting up. “ She says while snapping pictures of the band while they play “Natural”. I get excited and dance and sing along. I decide to tease ross a bit, i shake my hips to the beat and drag my palms up my stomach making my shirt ride up a bit. He notices and bites his lip and tilts his hat down and looks at me with sultry eyes. I wink at him and flick him off. he smirks and proceeds to perform the rest of the song.

The show finally ended and the boys are celebrating in the green room with a couple of drinks. I finished my job for the night when I start searching for Ross to actually start my night. I feel hands wrap around my middle and I instantly melt when I smell fresh body wash and sandalwood. “Let’s go to the bus, I promise to keep my hands to myself” Ross mumbles kissing my neck with his hands roaming my hips pulling me closer to his warmth. I chuckle and turn my head to see his face and tease his lips with mine before I dart towards the direction of the bus. I hear his laughs behind me when I get up to the door to the bus.

he meets me inside and starts teasing my neck again guiding me to the back of the bus. He closes the sliding door and locks it in place. I arch my neck towards him in a way to let him know I want his lips on me. He starts sucking on my neck behind my ear. he kisses all the way to my lips and he slams his lips on mine. I moan and run my fingers through his hair and tug at the ends. He groans in my mouth and starts unzipping my corset like top. I gasp when I feel the cold air on my bare back. The shirts comes loose from my body and falls at our feet. “Beautiful” He whispers to himself when he see my breasts in full exposure. He starts peppering kisses all over my breasts and he cups his lips around my nipple and start sucking to drive me wild. I moan a sound that has never escaped from me before and I tug his face up to mine “Just fuck me already Ross. I need you so bad. Feel how wet I am” I whimper grabbing his hand and pressing it to my core. he rubs his fingertips against the sensitive nub and I moan loudly biting my lip. He shrugs his pants off and throws his shirt somewhere while I undress myself as fast as I can. “I wanted this to be slow and make this moment last as long as possible but I can’t bear anything anymore. I need to be inside you baby.” Ross said as he slips on a condom with a groan. He pushes the tip towards my entrance and I close my eyes waiting for the first push. “Look at me Y/N. I need to see your face” he pleads. I open my eyes the same time he enters me and I gasp at the size of him. He slowly thrusts in and out letting me get used to his size.

“Faster Baby. Fuck you feel so good” I scream as his pace picks up. he grabs my leg and throws it over his left shoulder slamming his hips into the back of my thighs. He presses a hand against my stomach and I moan feeling him deeper inside of me. “Fuck baby I can feel it. My god your pussy is perfect. You’re so tight, you were made for me” He groans fucking me harder making me slam a hand on the window beside me. “Ross i’m so close. please let me cum. fuck baby” I moan in his ear and drag my nails down his back. “Yes baby. Let go for me. Cum all over my cock. Make a mess of me. “ he slams his hips into mine as we both hit our climax at the same time. he thrusts slowly while we come from our highs. I breathe heavily and rest my head on the armrest of couch. Ross slowly lays his head on my breast letting some of his weight fall on me. I run my hand through his hair and just smile wanting this moment to never end.

“Whatcha thinking about beautiful?” he asked slowly pulling out making me wince. “Just realizing how did I get this lucky? I don’t deserve you.” my eyes start tearing up looking at his eyes and studying all of his features. “You don’t deserve me? You got it all wrong baby. You are the most beautiful human I have ever laid my eyes on. We are meant to be here in this moment for a reason and I know down the road we will look back at this time and just laugh and smile about all these memories we have made together. I want to make memories with you forever Y/N. l- I love you so fucking much I can’t hold it in anymore.” He rambles sitting up on the L shaped couch and pulling me to his chest. I breathe in his scent and close my eyes. “Ross, I love you so much it makes it hard for me to breathe. I’ll love you to the day I die.” I look up at him and he slams his lips on mine putting a hand over my heart to feel the thumps of my rapid heartbeat. Our lips move and he slips his tongue in and our tongues dance along together lazily.

We finally had the energy to get up after 30 minutes of lazy kisses and just appreciating the moment we just shared. Everyone comes back to the bus after the celebratory shots.

“So where did both of you guys run off too earlier?” Garrison asked slipping on a hoodie and a crochet bucket hat I made for him in Wisconsin. “I don’t kiss and tell but it was definitely fun for sure.” Ross winks and pulls me to sit on his lap.

“They fucked in the back of the bus. there’s a hand print on the window to prove it.” Ryland said smirking into his tequila soda. I roll my eyes and tap the bottom of his cup to make it spill all over his neck and shirt. “Y/N what the fuck dude!” he shouts snatching napkins from Riker. I laugh so hard I snort and then that makes everyone in the bus have a laughing fit. I lean my head back on ross’ shoulder and he kisses the top of my head whispering “I love you” in my ear. my eyes start drooping and I fall asleep on the love of my life and already can’t wait to wake up to experience this life with him.

#ross lynch #ross lynch imagines #ross lynch x reader #the driver era #x reader #rocky lynch #imagine #oneshot #ross lynch oneshot #fanfic #rosslynchxreader #concert one shot #ross lynch fanfic

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starspunt · 4 days ago

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. . . 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐎, 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖

── ALHAITHAM + gn!reader

synopsis: one would suppose you'd go to a museum to gaze upon the famous works of men and women, but alhaitham goes to gaze upon you.

warnings: fluff, established relationship, reader is a museum tour guide, city setting, modern!au, one singular kiss, alhaitham is called handsome (wc. 547)

note: this is a repost from my old blog.

alhaitham could understand why people would go to a museum, and buy tickets to get the tour and the storytelling. alhaitham could understand going to view the art, culture, history, and pure emotion captured within years of aged paint. he could understand witnessing the sentiment carved into marble, a permanent pose of someone worshipping their lover.

but if alhaitham were being honest, he didn’t visit the museum to sightsee or experience romance from throughout the ages. hell, he didn’t even buy a ticket. the only reason he came at all was to see you, his pretty lover. you stood in front of a group of tourists, explaining the history behind a sculpture with great intrigue in your voice.

alhaitham guessed that was something he truly admired about you. no matter how many times you retold the stories or how many times your gaze was cast upon each curve of stone or brushstroke on canvas, you still held the same love for it. with a distinct longing in your eyes, in awe of the beauty and resilience of people from a time lost to you, you told whoever would listen to the tales you knew by heart.

at times, he caught you looking at him the same way. with an adoring gaze, seeking to understand the history and the events that molded him into who he is. you wanted to know how he got the small scar above his eyebrow, why his hands were so rough but so gentle when he touched you. you wanted to know how he liked his coffee in the morning, and what side of the bed he preferred.

you held such an innate love for life, breathing in every new day like it were your last, and the love you held for the world slowly but surely seeped into his bones. the mindset you had wove its way into his skin, into his very biological makeup, and now he didn’t know how to live other than the way you showed him how to.

with that in mind, alhaitham found himself growing antsy. he sighed longingly at the time on his phone, five more minutes and you'd be free. free to grab hold of his hand so he could whisk you away down the leaf-spotted road. he knew you loved your job to pieces, but he also knew that you loved him more. looking up from the screen, his gaze caught yours.

you had caught sight of him earlier, of course. his moon drop hair was hard to miss, or the silent strength he emitted. and here you were now, skipping over to him giddily with that smile he loved so much on your face. “hey, handsome,” you chirped, stopping in front of him. you leaned up towards his face, eyes twinkling joyfully.

“you wanna get out of here?” you asked softly, a cheesy, love drunk grin making itself home amongst the fondness of your features. in return, a gentle smile curved his lips. taking your hand into his, a perfect fit, he nodded. he dipped his head down and placed a kiss, so delicate it made your knees weak, on your lips. when he pulled away, he let an amused laugh slip from his nose at your expression.

“where you go, i'll follow.”

starspunt 2024. do not rewrite, repost, modify, or translate.

#alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x y/n #alhaitham x you #alhaitham fluff #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #genshin fluff #al haitham x reader

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her-satanic-wiles · 19 days ago

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Kinktober Day 19 - Filming

Papa Terzo x Reader

The Satanic Church hired a new PR manager to keep the Church afloat during these online times. To establish yourself, and to bring in new people, you suggest a 24 hour charity stream where the Ghouls and Papa complete challenges, play games, and create donation incentives. If they raise $1 million, Papa Terzo joked that he’d start an Only Fans. They didn’t expect to smash that goal so quickly. So who should he fuck online first than the person who suggested this whole ordeal in the first place?

Masterlist ⛧ Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

Words: 10k.

Reading Time: 42 min.

Warnings: clothed man/naked woman, creampie, cunnilingus, filming (with consent), mentions of orgies, PIV sex, this is absolutely 100% a crack!fic, vaginal sex, unprotected sex

Taglist: @akayuki56 @alien-the-ghost @amazing-bobinsky @angellayercake @anonymous-appreciation @babydestinyinfluencer @bitchywitchygardener @blossomsea @call-me-little-sunshine84 @copiaspet622 @copiasslut @cosmixxdust @da-rulah @dolceterzo @dopey-fandom-girl @faithisyours @ghoulishxdelights @hauntedharmonic-ghoulishhaunter @high-above-the-city @howlingco @inkstainedrat @kaijukimchi @kenken-the-shoggoth @ledger-kaos @magopi @megachaoticstupid @meliza1001 @miss-leto @mommy-dust @neganwifey25-blog @piaart @saintbowie @shycardinale @sister-of-sin-claudia @sisterof-sin @sodoswitchimage @the-did-i-ask @xiyingly @zombiesnips-blog

🔞 MDNI 🔞

You didn’t think they’d actually go for it, or that they’d believe it was a good idea. When you stood in the meeting room in front of Sister Imperator, Papa Emeritus III and the other upper clergy members and suggested a 24 hour live stream, you thought their boomer asses would sneer at the thought and turn the idea down. But one minute you were discussing activities to do during the stream, the next they were all nodding and looking at you incredibly impressed.

You’d only been here three months… this was your first major job as a PR manager. You knew what you were doing in theory but the execution could be messy as hell. Yet, there they all were, patting you on the back and taking notes.

Taking notes!

This was either going to make you, or break you - and you could only believe that the latter would come to pass.

Planning took place immediately, people turning Papa Terzo’s office into a streaming zone for that extra peace and quiet, but also to force him to be involved. He just thought he could leave the majority of the hours to his ghouls to entertain the world, but you knew that having him there, the head of the Ministry and the face of the Ghost Project, would make the money roll in. And they needed the money.

The Vatican had wormed their little Catholic tendrils into the Italian government and refused funding for the Ministry on account of mortal enemyship. And, with bribes in hand, the government thanked the Catholic church for “bringing their attention” to “such an evil in the country”, and tried to denounce Satanism as a genuine religion. This was, of course, a few decades ago now, but since then the Ministry never recovered and relied heavily on donations given from Lord Lucifer’s followers around the world - who gave and did so gladly. This live stream and the funds that were generated from it, would fund a huge restoration project and would help bring the facilities up to scratch. There were parts of the Ministry that were crumbling into disrepair, and you had the builders for it in house, but not the materials. It would be the biggest restoration project in the Ministry’s history… and you’d be the one to gather all that money.

No pressure.

The rewards were to be as follows:

€10,000 - First Steps

Reward: Ghouls play a game of “Never Have I Ever” live.

Bonus: Papa Terzo takes a shot of absinthe every time he loses (as suggested by Papa Secondo.)

€50,000 - Peek Behind the Curtain

Reward: A live virtual tour of the restricted parts of the Ministry, including the infamous Chapel of Shadows.

Bonus: Papa Terzo takes a shot of absinthe every time he falls over (as suggested by Papa Primo.)

€100,000 - Ghost Unplugged

Reward: An exclusive acoustic performance of “Cirice” by Papa Terzo and Ifrit.

Bonus: All donors up to this point get access to a downloadable recording of the session.

€250,000 - Makeover Madness

Reward: The audience votes on a ghoul who gets a full drag makeover by Alpha and Omega, live on stream.

€500,000 - Ritual Tease

Reward: A special candlelit ritual performance is conducted by Papa Terzo and the Ghouls.

Bonus: All viewers get early access to a limited-edition Ministry-themed candle collection.

€750,000 - Mystery Caller

Reward: Papa Terzo and the ghouls call random fans live and serenade them.

Bonus: The first person they call will receive signed memorabilia from the band’s archive.

€1,000,000 - Pomona Invitations Unlocked

Reward: Five random donors will receive a VIP invitation to the Ministry’s exclusive Pomona Festival, including an overnight stay in the Ministry’s guest quarters.

Bonus: All donors who contributed over €100 will be entered into a raffle for a personalised blessing from Papa Terzo during the ceremony.

€1,200,000 - Ghouls’ Playground

Reward: The Ghouls will perform a “Ghoul Games” Olympics, complete with ridiculous challenges and hilarious forfeits (e.g., eating the hottest pepper, trying to summon spirits while blindfolded, etc.).

€1,300,000 - One Night Only Concert Announcement

Reward: Terzo announces a one-night-only concert exclusively for the stream’s viewers, with tickets going on sale before the stream ends.

€1,400,000 - The Grand Restoration

Reward: Papa Terzo and the Ghouls reveal the blueprints and restoration plans for the Ministry, with construction to be documented and shared with all donors.

Bonus: Everyone who contributed will have their names included on a commemorative plaque placed inside the restored wing of the Ministry.

The Ministry knew that everyone’s ultimate goal was to be invited to the Festival of Pomona, knowing exactly what went down during the Ministry’s celebrations. The festival may or may not have included eating ripe fruits off of consenting naked bodies, drinking wine and fucking each other stupid (sometimes with the fruits) in the Basilica di Lilith, where the majority of festivities would take place at the Ministry.

Every holiday, a video would emerge on the Hub from the same group of wine ghouls who would all verbally consent to sharing their videos online before taking part in a small orgy in the wine cellars. Honestly, that did more for the Ministry’s applications than anything else, which is why the Papas allowed it to continue. Of course, Papa Terzo relished in the chaos, and would even hold screenings of the videos a few days later, which would then trigger another orgy.

On the days leading up to the livestream you found yourself buried in preparations, hands deep in spreadsheets, schedules, and legal disclaimers (because, unfortunately, someone had to pretend to be responsible). The Ministry was buzzing with activity as the wine ghouls polished off their favourite barrels, giggling over their plans for this year’s video. Every time you passed them in the halls, their smug little grins made it clear they knew exactly what kind of mayhem they’d cause this time around.

And, of course, Terzo was no help. His contribution to the stream planning was strolling into meetings late, lounging in chairs like a cat who knew he was untouchable, and occasionally chiming in with suggestions like, “What if we did a segment where I read fan fiction about myself?”

You thought he was joking. He wasn’t.

The ghouls thought it was hilarious and, before you could veto it, had already spread the idea like wildfire through the Ministry. The next morning, a surprisingly professional-looking flyer had been tacked to your office door:

“Papa Terzo Reads Smut, LIVE: Midnight Madness. BYOB (Bring Your Own Bible).”

You crumpled it up, threw it in the bin, and prayed to whatever deity would listen that it would quietly die off. It didn’t.

By the time the final schedule was drafted, not only was the reading segment officially included, but it was slotted right after the wine ghouls’ “Live from the Cellars” broadcast from last Lupercalia—just late enough in the night that most of the viewers would already be a little too deep into the wine themselves to complain about it.

And that wasn’t even the half of it.

On the days leading up to the livestream, every inch of the Ministry was being scrubbed, polished, and sensually rearranged to fit both the theme of the stream and the aesthetic of the Pomona Festival. The Basilica di Lilith—usually a solemn, shadowed space reserved for the highest rituals—was now being transformed into a bacchanalian paradise. Silk drapes hung from the rafters, embroidered cushions littered the floor, and massive fruit platters were set up along low tables, each piece of produce almost obscenely ripe and glistening.

And the bodies… oh, the bodies.

Ghouls, clergy, and a few familiar outside guests all volunteered to participate in the festival as living platters, lying still beneath the fruits, wine drizzling from lips to thighs as they practiced holding seductive poses in the chapel’s soft candlelight. You’d walked in on a practice session once, seen the trainee ghoul, Cirrus, with her legs spread and an apple resting precariously between them, and immediately backed out before you could make eye contact with anyone. They were committed, that much was certain.

Every time you tried to reign things in, Papa Terzo was already two steps ahead, unravelling your sense of control faster than you could stitch it back together.

“Relax, tesoro,” he’d purr with that infuriating grin, “if things get too wild, we’ll just call it ‘performance art.’ The Vatican loves that stuff.”

You tried to tell yourself it would all come together in the end. Somehow.

But the truth was, it was all spiralling out of your hands, and you were beginning to understand just how the Ministry ran: beautifully chaotic, gleefully immoral, and completely unsupervised.

The livestream kicked off at 10 AM sharp, cameras switching on to capture a shot of Terzo, lounging like a king on one of the deep leather armchairs in his office. His ghouls crowded around him on plush rugs and sofas, bottles of wine and spirits scattered among them. The viewers flooded in—thousands of curious souls watching live from around the world, eager to witness just how far the Ministry would push things. And the Ministry, predictably, wasted no time.

The first stretch of the stream was “Never Have I Ever,” a brilliant icebreaker orchestrated by Terzo, mostly so he could make a mess of his ghouls and drink far more than any of them. The stream chat was exploding—“👀” emojis and donations flying in at an alarming rate. Terzo swirled his wine lazily, the corners of his lips curling as he surveyed his crew.

“Let’s begin, no? Something easy… a little warm-up, sì?” Terzo purred, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “Alpha, you start.”

The hulking fire ghoul—Alpha—grinned around the rim of his whiskey glass. “Fine. Never have I ever…” He paused for dramatic effect, his forked tongue flicking between sharp teeth. “Slept with someone in this room.”

A murmur of anticipation rippled through the chat, and almost immediately, Terzo raised his glass with a devilish grin, along with Ifrit and Mist. The others exchanged knowing looks before following suit, with Aether muttering, “Well, that escalated quickly.”

Ember chuckled, leaning into Ifrit. “I think it’s safe to say we’re all guilty on that one.” He raised his glass, and Ifrit gave him a playful nip on the ear as he took her sip.

Mountain, quiet as ever, drank with a casual nonchalance, his enormous form relaxed despite the debauchery in the room. The chat was frothing at this point—donation notifications pinging nonstop.

“€50,000 milestone reached!” the notification flashed across the screen, followed by a flood of comments:

“Omg I KNEW IT”

“These ghouls are feral”

“Terzo already drunk and it’s only 10:30 AM lmfao”

Omega, perched cross-legged on the rug, hummed thoughtfully. “Never have I ever… worn someone else’s clothes during sex.”

Terzo nearly choked on his drink, laughing as he took a sip. Earth grinned and drank as well, along with Air, who added, “It’s called resourcefulness.”

“Resourcefulness?” Aether snorted, downing his wine. “It’s called kinks, my dude.”

Ifrit, already a little tipsy, leaned back and drawled, “What, you’ve never seen Terzo in someone else’s robes? Guy looks like sin incarnate.”

“Shut up,” Terzo smirked, tipping his glass in salute, completely unbothered by the growing chaos. “I wear them better than any of you.”

The conversation spiraled quickly as the questions became increasingly personal—partly to outdo one another, partly because no one in the room could resist poking at old memories.

Mist, looking deceptively innocent, said next: “Never have I ever faked an orgasm.”

The room erupted in laughter. Aether coughed into his wine, Air raised both hands in mock surrender, and Terzo gave an exaggerated scoff before drinking. “Che bastardo,” he muttered, making everyone cackle harder.

Mountain, as usual, simply shrugged, sipping without comment.

The viewers were losing their minds, donations piling up by the second as the room dissolved into drunken, irreverent chaos. Every time someone revealed something incriminating, the chat flooded with emojis and exclamations:

“MOUNTAIN FAKED AN ORGASM????”

“The AUDACITY of Terzo omg”

“MORE STORIES I BEG YOU”

The first hour of the stream passed in a blur of laughter, spilled wine, and wild confessions. They’d already blown past the €100,000 mark, and Terzo, glancing at the tracker on the screen, grinned like a man who knew exactly how this was going to end.

“Ah, we’re just getting started, miei amici,” he purred to the camera, raising his glass. “I hope you’re ready for a long, sinful night.”

The chat exploded again, the stream rolling on without a care in the world—just as the Ministry had planned. One hour down, twenty-three to go.

You made the executive decision—Terzo, with his wine-drunk smirk and half-lidded gaze, was definitely not in a condition to lead a coherent tour of the Ministry. There was no way he’d make it through the halls without getting distracted, lost, or deciding to take a nap on a velvet chaise halfway through. So you shifted it to later in the week, hoping his sobriety would at least slightly improve by then. But keeping things on track for now? That was another challenge altogether.

Ifrit—already three drinks deep—got it in his head that it was the perfect time for a little music. Before you could stop him, he grabbed an acoustic guitar someone had stashed in the corner, strumming out a chaotic, out-of-tune chord.

“Oh no…” you whispered, dread setting in. But it was already too late.

The chat went feral, donations flying in faster than the counter could register.

“LIVE Cirice karaoke??! I CAN’T”

“50€ if Ifrit makes it through without completely botching the chorus”

“Papáaaaaa, serenade us pls 🥺”

“Okay, okay!” Terzo swayed dangerously as he stood, grabbing the mic someone handed him with more enthusiasm than skill. “You want music? I am music!” he declared dramatically, then immediately stumbled into the edge of the coffee table.

The ghouls erupted in drunken laughter, Aether and Mist clutching each other as Terzo tried to recover his dignity, shooting them a lazy glare.

Ifrit fumbled with the guitar for a second, plucking out a hilariously off-key rendition of the opening riff to “Cirice.” The stream chat exploded with emojis—crying-laughing faces, wine glasses, and musical notes flooding the screen.

“What in Lucifer’s name is happening rn?”

“This is the most chaotic version of Cirice I’ve ever heard and I love it.”

“NOTHING is in tune but I’m still crying”

“I feel your presence… among these ghooooouls,” Terzo slurred into the mic, drawing out the notes like some unholy lounge singer. His eyes fluttered shut as he leaned too far back, nearly tipping over.

The ghouls cackled—Air doubled over on the floor, slamming his hand into the rug. Mountain kept it together, though his shoulders shook from suppressed laughter, while Omega helpfully chimed in, “That’s definitely not the line, but go off, Papa.”

“Shhh!” Terzo hissed, dramatically pressing a finger to his lips. “Art is fluid, Omega. Fluid!” He turned back to the mic, swaying as Ifrit fought to stay somewhat in rhythm. “I can feel your mother… I can feel your mother, beating in the dark…”

And then came the chorus—oh, the chorus.

Ifrit made a valiant attempt to hit the right chords, but by then, his fingers were as drunk as his brain. He strummed something that might have once resembled music, but now sounded like a cat falling down a flight of stairs.

Terzo launched into the refrain anyway, shamelessly belting out:

“Can you feel the thunder?”

“Ciriiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!” he wailed, voice cracking beautifully.

The chat lost it.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS LMFAO”

“This is camp. This is art.”

“€200 if they finish the song without laughing.”

The laughter in the room reached dangerous levels—Aether and Air wheezing on the floor while Mist buried her face in Omega’s shoulder, her whole body shaking. Ifrit gave up halfway through the next verse, falling back onto the couch in defeat, still cradling the guitar as if it had personally betrayed him.

Terzo powered through, eyes closed, arms spread dramatically wide, like a man possessed by the spirit of the song—or possibly just too much wine. He staggered toward Mountain, shoving the mic in his face.

“Sing with me, amico!” Terzo demanded.

Mountain blinked slowly, stone-faced as ever. “…No.”

That sent the ghouls into another wave of hysterics, and even Terzo couldn’t hold back his own laughter this time. He stumbled back to his seat, collapsing into it with a satisfied grin, cheeks flushed pink from wine and joy.

As he tried to catch his breath, he slurred into the microphone: “Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all day.”

The donations ticker shot past €150,000, and the stream chat devolved into chaos:

“This is peak content, nothing will top this.”

“€50 IF THEY DO ANOTHER SONG PLS”

“Terzo’s laugh is the sound of the gods.”

“Terzo autotune confirmed.”

The next ten hours passed in a blur of activities, laughter, and enough chaos to keep the viewers glued to their screens. Terzo had sobered up remarkably quickly—though that may have been aided by an embarrassing amount of pizza consumed during breaks—and the ghouls shifted gears, transitioning from tipsy karaoke to various challenges that had the chat on the edge of their seats.

Challenges ranged from food tastings (courtesy of the Ministry’s kitchen staff) to hilariously bad attempts at crafting—some ghouls were surprisingly talented, while others were definitely not. Mist and Ifrit attempted to decorate a cake, and after a chaotic hour of flour flying and frosting disasters, they presented what looked like a mangled abstract art piece that was more comical than edible.

The stream’s chat exploded with laughter:

“This is the worst cake I’ve ever seen, I LOVE it!”

“Is it a cake or a cursed artifact?”

“I’m convinced Ifrit was trying to summon a demon with that frosting.”

As the hours dragged on, they tackled more physical challenges—like an impromptu round of “Twister” where Terzo quickly found himself tangled with Earth and Ember, both of whom were giggling uncontrollably. Mountain, being the quiet powerhouse he was, nailed his positions, winning the game without breaking a sweat while the others fell into a heap of limbs and laughter.

Then came the 15-hour mark. The energy in the room had shifted, weariness creeping in as they gathered around the coffee table for a much-needed pizza feast. Boxes of steaming hot pizza piled high, and the ghouls dove in with reckless abandon, conversation flowing easily as they rehashed the day’s absurdity.

Terzo plopped down beside Aether, pulling a slice of pepperoni from the box. “I swear if I see another cake like that, I might just lose my mind,” he said between bites, crumbs speckling his robe.

“If you keep eating like that, it’ll be your mind that gets lost in the cheese,” Aether shot back with a cheeky grin.

The laughter was punctuated by the chatter of pizza grease and a chorus of “Ooooh, I love this topping!”

Then, the notification chimed in—the stream hit €1 million raised. It was a monumental milestone, and the chat erupted in celebration, accompanied by a flurry of donations and cheers.

“YESSSS!!!”

“THIS IS WHAT WE CAME FOR!”

“CIRCUS OF HORRORS, MORE PLEASE!”

The ghouls, momentarily distracted from their pizza, erupted into cheers and hugs, Terzo’s laughter ringing out above the rest as he stood to address the camera, waving his arms like a conductor. “We did it! One million! Can you believe it?”

Ifrit, eyes slightly glazed but clearly enthusiastic, lifted his slice of pizza high. “To one million euros! And to our loyal fans—cheers!” he declared, taking a massive bite.

The viewers went wild. Donations poured in as they celebrated the milestone, fueling the ghouls’ energy once more. Terzo, clearly enjoying the attention, began to plan the next segment.

“Okay,” he said clapping his hands, trying to keep his eyes open. “If we reach our goal in the next two hours, eh, tesoro,” he looked at you, “how much more is left?”

“€400,000, Papa,” you replied.

“They won’t do it. €400,000 in the next two hours and I’ll start an Only Fans.”

The chat exploded with a mix of disbelief and excitement.

“NO WAY!”

“THIS IS A THREAT AND A PROMISE.”

“I need to see this!”

You felt your face flush at Terzo’s bold declaration. “Papa, are you sure that’s a good idea?” you blurted, half-laughing, half-worrying about the chaos that would ensue if he followed through.

“Absolutely!” he replied, puffing out his chest as if the prospect thrilled him. “Think of the money! And all the juicy content…” His eyes sparkled with mischief as he leaned closer to the camera, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “I could do a series called ‘Cooking with Terzo’—a little bit of spice, a little bit of… you know!”

“I’m dead,” someone typed in the chat.

“This is going to break the internet.”

“We’ll donate if you promise to wear that robe.”

Ifrit nearly choked on his pizza, laughter bubbling up as he pointed at Terzo. “Oh, please do! I want to see how many ghouls will actually pay to watch you cook in that!”

Terzo threw his head back, laughing heartily. “You’re all sick! But fine, if that’s what it takes!” He turned back to you, eyes sparkling with an idea. “And let’s sweeten the deal. If we hit that €400,000 mark, I’ll also do a live reading of my favorite poetry… in the most seductive way possible.”

The chat lit up with renewed enthusiasm, and you couldn’t help but shake your head, half-amused and half-concerned about what exactly Terzo was proposing.

“THIS IS A GOLDMINE!”

“I’m about to donate my entire paycheck.”

“Can’t wait to see this sexy poetry reading!”

The only problem was, that goal was reached in less than 30 minutes after Terzo’s suggestion, leaving everyone speechless. Especially Terzo. While he didn’t actually have a problem with going through with what he’d promised, he never expected it to actually happen. He didn’t think anyone would donate multiple times, nor that some would donate such high amounts. He was prepared and so sure that he’d be safe. He was wrong.

When the live stream had ended, over €2 million had been raised for the Ministry’s benefit, and while the clergy were overjoyed with the donation goal exceeding, there was now the concern of Terzo’s Only Fans page. In a feedback meeting with the upper clergy, you were both praised and scolded for allowing Terzo to announce something so stupid, especially as no one could go back on their word.

Sister Imperator put you on content control, whether you liked it or not.

“I do not think,” Papa Secondo began, frowning at Sister Imperator, “we should force ___ to take part in my idiota fratello’s Only Fans. He should be the only one punished, no?”

Sister Imperator sighed. “I didn’t suggest she stars in them.”

Terzo began picking at his nails. “I was thinking she would.”

The entire room looked at him, your mouth agape. “Come again?” you asked, disbelief laced in your words.

“Well,” Terzo donned his famous cheeky expression, “you were the one who suggested we do the live stream in the first place.”

“I didn’t tell you to suggest making porn to reach your goal! You did that all on your own.”

“I would not have suggested it if we didn’t do the live stream in the first place.”

Sister Imperator tried to interrupt but you stopped her. “You were one of the first people on board with the live stream, if I recall.”

“I cannot force you, of course, Sorella,” he began.

“No you fucking can’t!” you exclaimed.

“But, the money made would be… well, a lot. And if I do not have you, I’m going to have to make love to someone else.”

You nodded and stood, straightening your habit. “Perfect, I’m sure the wine ghouls would offer themselves up willingly.”

Terzo leaned back in his chair, a playful smirk dancing on his lips. “Ma dai, you know they wouldn’t hold a candle to what we could create together. Besides, it’s not just about the money, tesoro. Think of the divertimento, the thrill of it all.” He leaned closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Immagina the stories we could tell, the cose we could do… and all the fans watching, begging for more.”

You felt your resolve wavering as his words wrapped around you, the promise of adventure tingling in the air. “And who’s to say we couldn’t make it fun for ourselves? Sei d’accordo? Just a little taste of our wild side, and then we can go back to our proper lives.”

He tilted his head, those charming eyes locked onto yours, an irresistible challenge hidden within his gaze. “What do you say? Shall we give them a show they’ll never forget?”

You thought for a moment. “Do I get paid?”

Terzo chuckled, the mischievous glint in his eye growing more pronounced. “Certo, tesoro! You will be compensated handsomely. Think of it as your stipendio for the best performance of your life.” He leaned back slightly, crossing his arms, a grin playing on his lips. “Besides, it’s not just about the money; it’s about creating something special, something that will make waves for the Ministry.”

He leaned in again, his voice low and inviting. “And who knows? We might even enjoy ourselves along the way. After all, this is a nuova avventura—and I promise, you won’t regret it. Just think about it.”

And, oh boy, did you think about it. Long and hard. On the one hand, you’d be on the internet for the rest of your life as the person who was filmed fucking Papa Emeritus III. On the other hand, you’d be the person who fucked Papa Emeritus III. The people on that list was actually quite long, but still, it was a tempting prospect. You knew people who were on that list, who would sacrifice anyone they could get their hands on if it meant another chance with Terzo. And you were sat there, in the dark, at the witching hour, contemplating whether you should or not. The rest of the Ministry would have your guts for garters.

Ultimately, the choice was yours.

And you took it.

The careful deliberation had landed you to the conclusion that you very much wanted to be the person who fucked Papa Emeritus III for the world to see. There was something undeniably hot about being vulnerable in front of an audience, letting the world into your private realm. The thought of it was exhilarating. It transformed sex into a performance, turning every sigh and gasp into a piece of art, a story shared with countless viewers. You could almost hear the murmurs of anticipation as people tuned in, eagerly awaiting the unfolding drama.

And it wasn’t just about the audience; it was about him. With every glance, every teasing comment he threw your way, you could feel the electric connection sparking between you, the tension building until it became impossible to ignore. To be desired so openly, to have someone like Terzo wanting you—really wanting you—was intoxicating. The allure of exploring that passion on camera, of giving in to your desires while the world watched, sent heat pooling in your core.

What made it even hotter was the thought of pushing boundaries. The idea of sharing an experience so deeply personal and yet so public made your pulse quicken. You could imagine the way his hands would explore your body, the weight of his gaze as he looked at you with hunger while the cameras captured every moment. It was an act of surrender, a dance of dominance and submission that could leave both of you breathless and craving more.

And there was a thrill in knowing that the final product would live on forever, a digital record of your passion. You could already picture the comments flooding in—words of praise, envy, desire from viewers who wished they were in your place. The idea of turning the tables, of being the one who brought Terzo to his knees while being cheered on by fans, was undeniably intoxicating.

Ultimately, the choice you made was about seizing the moment, about embracing the adventure that lay ahead. You wanted to explore the depths of your own desires, and what better way to do that than with someone who exuded confidence and charm, all while the world watched?

With a deep breath, you felt your decision solidify. You were ready to step into that spotlight, to become a part of something that was larger than life. Let the world see you. Let them see what it means to be with Papa Emeritus III. The idea ignited a fire within you, and you knew, without a doubt, that you were ready for whatever came next.

You took charge of the preparations, determined to create an atmosphere that matched the grandeur of the moment. Terzo’s room was the perfect setting—opulent and gothic, adorned with rich purple drapes that cascaded down the walls and a massive four-poster bed draped in velvet. The dim, flickering candlelight cast playful shadows, enhancing the sultry ambiance while adding an air of mystery.

You meticulously arranged the space, making sure every detail was just right. A few strategically placed pillows adorned the bed, their deep colors complementing the purple hues around you. You placed a vintage mirror nearby to capture the angles and reflections, knowing it would only add to the allure of the performance.

As you moved about the room, the thrill of anticipation thrummed through you. You set up the camera, ensuring it was perfectly positioned to catch every moment without obstruction. There was a certain rush in knowing you were about to share something so intimate with the world. You checked the lighting, adjusting it to create a soft glow that would enhance the sultriness of the scene.

You stepped back to admire your handiwork. The room looked stunning—every element came together to create a setting that felt both enchanting and erotic. You could almost feel Terzo’s presence there with you, the energy crackling in the air as you imagined how he would take in the space.

Terzo walked into the room with an effortless swagger, his attire embodying the perfect blend of gothic elegance and seductive flair. He wore a fitted black velvet jacket, the fabric glimmering softly in the candlelight, its high collar framing his face and emphasizing his striking features. Underneath, a deep purple silk shirt peeked out, the material clinging to his form and accentuating the subtle curves of his torso.

His pants were tailored and sleek, hugging his legs perfectly and tapering down to black leather boots that gleamed like polished obsidian. The ensemble was completed with a few silver rings adorning his fingers, catching the light with every gesture he made.

As he moved closer, the rich colors of his outfit contrasted beautifully with the opulent purples of the room, making him the focal point of the scene. The combination of textures—velvet, silk, and leather—added an element of sensuality that was hard to ignore. His presence was magnetic, and the way he carried himself with confidence only heightened the air of seduction in the room. “Che spettacolo!” he exclaimed, his voice a mix of awe and admiration. “You’ve outdone yourself, tesoro.”

The way he looked at you—filled with excitement and desire—sent a thrill coursing through your veins. “It’s perfect for what we’re about to do,” you replied, your heart racing.

He stepped closer, his gaze intense. “I have a feeling this will be a night to remember.” The promise behind his words was undeniable, sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine.

With a deep breath, you stepped over to the camera, your heart pounding in anticipation. You flicked the switch, and the red light glowed ominously, signaling that you were being recorded. The moment the cameras turned on, a rush of adrenaline surged through you. You adjusted the angle slightly, ensuring that Terzo would be perfectly framed in the shot.

“Ciao a tutti!” Terzo called out, flashing a charming smile at the camera, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Welcome to the Ministry’s most scandalous event yet!” His playful tone set the stage, and you could feel the energy in the room shift, becoming electric with the prospect of what was to come.

You moved back to the bed, positioning yourself beside him. “Are you ready to give them a show they won’t forget?” you teased, your heart racing as his gaze locked onto yours.

“Oh, I intend to make it memorable,” he replied, his voice low and sultry. With a playful wink, he leaned in closer, the warmth of his body brushing against yours, igniting a heat that spread through you. The cameras captured every nuance of your interaction—the chemistry crackling between you, the unspoken promises lingering in the air.

Slowly, he closed the gap, capturing your lips with his in a deep, hungry kiss. The taste of him—sweet with a hint of wine—was intoxicating. As he kissed you, he pulled you closer, his hands finding your waist and drawing you against him, the heat radiating from his body enveloping you.

With a confident grin, he broke the kiss and looked deep into your eyes, gauging your reaction. “I want them to see how much I enjoy you,” he said, his voice dripping with seduction. He began to explore your body with his hands, his fingers tracing the curves of your hips, slowly sliding up to your waist. The touch was firm yet tender, igniting your skin and heightening your senses.

“Let’s give them a real show,” he murmured, a wicked grin forming on his lips. He leaned back, taking a moment to admire you, and then turned to the camera, making sure to address the viewers. “Are you ready for this? Because I am.”

With that, he directed your body to turn slightly toward the camera, giving the audience a view of you both as he began to slowly undress you, his fingers deftly working the buttons of your attire. Each small reveal felt monumental, the thrill of being watched heightening every sensation as he pulled you deeper into the moment.

With each button he undid, the anticipation built, your heart racing faster as Terzo’s playful yet deliberate touch left a trail of heat across your skin. He took his time, his fingers grazing your sides, lingering just long enough to make you gasp before continuing the slow descent.

“Bellissima,” he breathed, taking in the sight of you, his eyes dark with desire. “I want everyone to see how stunning you are.” His gaze was intense, locking onto yours as if he were the only one who mattered in that moment.

Finally, he pushed your clothing aside, baring your skin to the dim light of the room and the eager eyes of the audience. You felt exposed yet empowered, knowing that Terzo was right there beside you, guiding you through this exhilarating experience. He leaned in closer, his lips trailing down your neck, kissing and nibbling, making you arch into him as the sensations intensified.

“Let them see how I worship you,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. He pressed soft kisses along your collarbone, each one igniting a spark that sent shivers through your body.

As he continued to explore, his hands roamed freely over your curves, and he made sure to play up every soft gasp and moan that escaped your lips. The thrill of being on camera only heightened the pleasure, every touch feeling more electric under the gaze of the viewers.

“Now, let’s give them what they came for,” he said, his voice a sultry promise as he pulled back just enough to position you perfectly in front of the camera, ensuring every tantalizing moment would be caught on film.

He looked at you with that mischievous glint, his eyes flickering between your lips and the camera. “Are you ready for your audience, tesoro?” His tone dripped with playful seduction as he grasped your chin gently, tilting your head back slightly.

You nodded, the thrill of it all making your heart race. “Yes,” you breathed, feeling a rush of excitement as he leaned in again, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss, his tongue teasingly brushing against yours.

With that, he began to take control, guiding your body to move with his as he pulled you down onto the bed, the plush surface cradling you both. He hovered above you for a moment, his presence dominating yet undeniably magnetic.

“Ti mostrerò,” he said with a cheeky grin, “I’ll show you how it’s done.” And with that, he began to explore your body with renewed fervor, kissing a path down your torso, savoring every inch of you as the camera captured it all—every sigh, every movement—immortalizing the moment for his audience and for you both.

Terzo’s kisses trailed lower, his lips leaving a warm, tingling sensation in their wake as he moved down your body. He paused for a moment, taking the time to admire the way you responded to his touch, the way your body arched instinctively towards him, craving more.

“Sei così bella,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire. “You’re so beautiful.” His eyes sparkled with mischief as he looked up at you, clearly relishing the moment.

With that, he settled between your legs, a playful glint in his gaze as he teased the hem of your garment. He took his time, pulling it up just enough to reveal the smooth skin of your thighs, pressing soft kisses along the inner seams as he ascended. The sensation was intoxicating, each kiss igniting a fire deep within you, fueling your anticipation.

“Let them see you,” he whispered, glancing up at the camera before continuing his exploration. “Every inch of you deserves to be admired.” His mouth moved closer to your core, but he stopped just short, relishing the way your breath hitched in your throat.

“Dai,” he coaxed playfully, his voice low and teasing. “Let me taste you.”

With that, he finally pressed his lips against you, the warmth and softness of his mouth igniting a spark that sent shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body. His tongue flicked and danced, teasing you with gentle strokes as he expertly coaxed you closer to the edge. You could feel the camera capturing every moment, amplifying the intensity of the experience.

He locked eyes with you, ensuring you felt every ounce of pleasure as he brought you closer and closer. “Voglio sentire i tuoi gemiti,” he said, his voice a sultry growl against your sensitive skin. “I want to hear your moans.”

The thrill of being on camera only heightened the sensations, and as he continued to pleasure you, the weight of the moment settled in—this was not just a private encounter, but a spectacle, a performance where every gasp and moan would be immortalized for the world to see.

Terzo knew just how to play the audience, and as he worked his magic, he made sure to encourage you, his voice a steady stream of encouragement. “Sì, così, bella… Let them see how much you enjoy this.” His words were like a balm, igniting a passion within you that couldn’t be contained.

With a sultry silence enveloping the room, Terzo continued his devoted ministrations, his tongue moving in tantalizing patterns that drove you wild. Every flick and swirl of his mouth sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, as if he were orchestrating a symphony of sensations tailored just for you.

He expertly explored every sensitive spot, his lips pressing against your skin in soft, teasing kisses before returning to his focused work. The weight of the moment became more intense as he leaned into his task, his dark hair falling into his eyes, creating an intimate veil between you and the world outside the camera’s gaze.

Your breath quickened, each gasp escaping your lips louder than the last, and the sheer thrill of being recorded made everything feel heightened. The warmth of the room mingled with the heat radiating from your core, every sensation amplified as Terzo’s mouth worked its magic.

As he continued to feast on you, you could see the way he savored the experience—his eyes occasionally glancing up to meet yours, ensuring that he was bringing you the pleasure you craved. The intimate connection shared between you felt electric, even with the cameras rolling, capturing every moment of your shared desire.

You could feel the familiar tightening in your belly, the sensation building within you as Terzo pressed on, his dedication unwavering. It was as if he was lost in the rhythm of it all, completely focused on bringing you to the brink of pleasure.

As he pulled back slightly, just enough to tease you, you felt a surge of frustration mixed with desire. Your body craved more, urging him to take you to that precipice. Yet, Terzo seemed to enjoy the slow build, prolonging the anticipation, the delicious torture that left you breathless and begging for release.

You squirmed beneath him, your hips instinctively grinding against his face as you sought more friction, more contact. He responded with a deep hum, sending vibrations coursing through you that only heightened the pleasure. The noise escaped your lips unbidden—a soft, needy whimper that echoed in the intimate space.

With every passing moment, the pressure inside you intensified, winding tighter and tighter like a coiled spring. Terzo’s skilled mouth was relentless, coaxing you closer to the edge, and you could feel that familiar warmth pooling in your core, the unmistakable sign that release was imminent.

He alternated between gentle kisses and fervent licks, knowing precisely how to keep you on the brink. Just as you thought you might tumble over, he would pull back slightly, letting the waves of pleasure wash over you without allowing you to reach that sweet release.

The thrill of being filmed only added to the excitement, a spicy undercurrent that made everything feel more urgent. You wanted to cry out, to let the world know just how good he was making you feel, but instead, you bit your lip, savoring the delicious tension that hung in the air.

As he shifted slightly, deepening his focus, the intensity rose to an unbearable level. Terzo’s fingers slipped under your thighs, lifting your legs slightly, opening you up even more for him. The change in angle allowed him to explore deeper, his tongue delving into places that made your back arch and your breaths come in gasps.

Terzo seemed to sense the shift in your energy, and with a renewed fervor, he dove back in, his mouth working at an even more fevered pace. You felt the tension build, pushing you closer and closer to the edge, and as he locked eyes with you once more, his gaze was filled with that same playful intensity that had drawn you in from the very beginning.

You could feel the coil inside you tightening, ready to snap at any moment. Just as the waves began to crash, Terzo’s movements became more fervent, his tongue flicking faster, more insistently, driving you over the edge. The world erupted in a blur of sensations as your body responded, pleasure flooding through you, making you writhe beneath him.

“Terzo!” you cried out, the name a desperate plea as you surrendered to the waves of ecstasy washing over you. Your body tensed, every nerve ending alive with pleasure as you finally fell, spiraling into that euphoric release that left you breathless and trembling.

Terzo didn’t let up, continuing to work you through it, his mouth still latched onto you, drawing out every last moment of bliss. The camera captured everything—the passion, the pleasure, the pure ecstasy of the moment—and as you came down from the high, you realized you’d just shared something intensely personal and thrilling with the world.

In that heated aftermath, as your body slowly settled, you looked down at him, breathless and dazed, and caught the satisfied grin on his face. He pulled back slightly, his lips glistening and a playful glint in his eye. “Che esperienza incredibile,” he said, his voice low and sultry.

You could taste yourself on him when he kissed you, his tongue delving into your mouth and capturing you in a passionate kiss. You forgot the cameras were there until he looked one in the eye, staring down the barrel of the lens with a smug expression on his face that told everyone he knew just how fucking good he was. The arrogance he wore, on another man, would be the most obnoxious thing. But on him? Right now while your cum dripped from his lips and onto his chin, his body weighing yours down into the mattress and eyes wild with lust? This was the hottest thing you had ever seen, and you needed more of that arrogance while he fucked you silly.

“You came so hard, tesoro,” he teased, staring down at you once he finally looked at you. “Who made you come like that?”

“Y-you did,” you replied, breathlessly.

It wasn’t enough for him. “Tell everyone at home, the people who have their hands on themselves and are stroking wildly as they watched you… who made it happen?”

“Terzo!”

He hummed, a pleased rumble coming from him. “Esatto. Such a good girl for her Papa. What do you want next, hm? You have to tell us or we won’t know.”

Us. Including the audience in this as if they had any decision over what was about to happen to you. But the idea, knowing that so many people were watching this happen, and that Terzo was prioritising your pleasure on camera had you clenching around nothing. You wanted him deep inside you, touching all those spots that no one had ever been able to touch before. You wanted him to fuck you until you passed out and had the entire world watching as he did so.

“I w-want your cock, Papa,” you told him, naked hips bucking up to rub against him.

“Davvero? Where would you like it, tesoro?” He ran his index finger over your lips. “In your mouth?” He moved his hand down to in between your breasts. “Against these glorious tits?” He continued his movements, skipping over your sensitive snatch with his hands and rubbing your inner thighs teasingly. “Here? Where do you want my cock?”

“Inside me.”

“Il mia angela, more specific. Do you want me in your mouth?”

You shook your head.

“Words.”

“N-no.”

“Your ass?”

“No, Papa. Please.”

“Then where?”

“M-my cunt. Please fuck my cunt Papa.”

He giggled. He leaned down and bit your neck, playfully. “So polite. Begging so sweetly. Va bene,” he sat up and pulled off his jacket, throwing it over to the other side of the room, “Papa will give you what you want.”

He never undressed much further than that besides him rolling up his sleeves like he meant business. He pulled his cock out from beneath his slacks, teasing the audience with him still being clothed. The entire Ministry had seen this man naked innumerable times, but the rest of the world would have to wait.

From the sides of your body, he lifted your hands and trapped them beneath his own above your head. “Feel me,” he whispered in your ear before sliding himself inside you slowly.

As Terzo slowly pushed inside you, your body arched instinctively, desperate to take all of him. The initial stretch was exquisite, your walls clinging tightly to his cock as he sank in deeper, filling you inch by inch. The weight of his body pressing yours into the mattress was intoxicating, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered sweet nothings in a mix of Italian and English, each word sending shivers down your spine.

“Così stretto,” he murmured, his voice thick with lust. “So tight for me, tesoro. You feel incredible.”

The cameras were still rolling, capturing every moment of your connection, but in that moment, it felt like the world had shrunk to just the two of you. The sensation of being so completely filled, so utterly claimed, had your heart racing, and the thought that others were watching only added to the intense heat pooling in your core.

Terzo held your hands firmly above your head, his fingers digging deliciously into your wrists as he began to move, his hips rolling in slow, deliberate thrusts. Each time he pulled out just enough to leave you wanting, only to thrust back in with a firm, measured pace. His cock hit all the right spots, the delicious friction building a heady pressure inside you.

“Fuck, Papa!” you gasped, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, urging him to go deeper, harder. But Terzo, ever the tease, kept his pace slow and torturous, drawing out your pleasure until you were trembling beneath him, desperate for more.

“Patience, bella,” he teased, his lips brushing against your jawline. “We have an audience, remember? We want to give them a show they’ll never forget.”

You moaned in response, the heat of his words matching the fire building inside you. The idea that so many eyes were on you, watching you writhe beneath Papa Emeritus III, was electrifying. You could practically feel the weight of their gaze, knowing they were all waiting, eagerly anticipating the moment he would finally take you as hard and fast as you craved.

“Pl-please, Terzo,” you begged, your voice breathy and desperate. “I ne… need more.”

He grinned wickedly, clearly enjoying the way you were pleading for him. His pace quickened slightly, his thrusts becoming deeper, more insistent, but still not quite enough to push you over the edge. It was maddening, the way he kept you teetering on the brink of ecstasy, his cock filling you completely with every slow, deliberate movement.

“Look at you,” he purred, his voice dripping with arrogance. “So needy, tesoro. You want Papa to fuck you harder, don’t you?”

“Y-yes,” you breathed, your hands gripping his tightly as your hips bucked up to meet his. “Please, f-fuck me ha-ah! Harder.”

He chuckled darkly, clearly savoring the power he had over you in this moment. “Brava,” he praised, his lips ghosting over yours. “You ask so sweetly. But I think they want to hear you beg a little more.”

With that, he shifted slightly, adjusting his angle so that his cock hit that perfect spot deep inside you with every thrust. Your eyes fluttered shut as a moan escaped your lips, your body tightening around him in response. The sensation was overwhelming, the pleasure almost too much to bear.

“Tell them,” Terzo commanded, his voice a low growl. “Tell them how much you want it.”

You opened your eyes, glancing at the camera that was focused on your every move, your heart pounding in your chest. “I want it,” you gasped, your voice trembling with need. “I want Papa to fuck me harder. Please.”

“Perfetto,” he purred, his pace finally picking up as he drove into you harder, each thrust sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. The bed creaked beneath you as he moved faster, his hips slamming against yours with a rhythm that was as punishing as it was perfect.

You could feel the tension coiling in your belly, that familiar pressure building rapidly as he took you harder, deeper, his cock hitting that sweet spot with every thrust. The sound of your combined moans filled the room, the lewd slap of skin on skin only adding to the intensity of the moment.

Terzo’s grip on your hands tightened as he leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear. “Come for me, cara,” he whispered, his voice thick with lust. “Let them see how good I make you feel.”

His words sent you over the edge. Your body tensed as the orgasm crashed over you, your walls clenching around his cock as you cried out his name. The pleasure was overwhelming, a tidal wave of sensation that left you trembling beneath him, completely undone.

Terzo didn’t let up, continuing to fuck you through your orgasm, his thrusts unrelenting as he chased his own release. The look on his face was one of pure ecstasy, his eyes dark with lust as he watched you fall apart beneath him.

“Buona ragazza,” he growled, his pace becoming erratic as he neared his own climax. “You’re perfect.”

As Terzo’s thrusts became rougher, his focus shifting to his own pleasure, the sight of him above you was utterly mesmerizing. His sharp, angular features were illuminated by the soft, purple glow of the room, casting shadows that only added to his allure. His slicked-back hair was now slightly disheveled from the intensity of the moment, and a thin sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead, rubbing his paints off him with every bead that dripped onto your body. Every movement radiated raw, untamed power, as he lost himself in the rhythm of his own need.

The fabric of his shirt was slightly wrinkled now, his sleeves rolled up just enough to reveal the strength in his forearms as he braced himself above you. Every muscle in his body was taut, working in perfect harmony as he plunged into you over and over. He was fully in control, and he knew it. The confidence he exuded was magnetic, the way his body moved with precision and purpose made it impossible to look away.

You could see the tension building in his jaw, his lips parted as he breathed heavily, and the deep, guttural sounds escaping him were enough to send shivers down your spine. His eyes, still dark with lust, never left you, watching intently as you squirmed and gasped beneath him. The combination of his powerful movements and the way his clothes framed his body only added to his allure—this man, still so composed and dignified, was fucking you like it was the only thing that mattered in the world.

The way he thrust into you now, hard and fast, each movement rougher than the last, sent waves of pleasure crashing through you all over again. You could feel his cock throbbing inside you, stretching you in all the right ways, and the sound of his hips slamming into yours echoed through the room, mixing with your breathy moans and the wet sounds of your bodies colliding.

Terzo’s head tilted back slightly, his eyes half-lidded as his pleasure began to crest, and the sight of him, still fully dressed, so composed in his authority even while chasing his release, made him look more powerful than ever. He was gorgeous—perfect in his calculated roughness, his eyes locking onto yours as he growled, “Sì, tesoro, I’m close.”

The power he held in this moment, the way he dominated the space around you, both on camera and within the confines of the bed, left you in awe. You could feel the tightening in his body, the way his body tensed as he pushed himself toward the edge, and the sound of his raspy breathing only deepened the sexual haze you were already lost in.

He was fully in control, fucking you with a raw intensity that left no doubt about who was in charge.

As Terzo’s pace grew even more frantic, the pressure within him reached its peak. His grip on your wrists tightened, his body moving with an unrestrained force as he chased his release. With one final, deep thrust, he buried himself inside you, his head thrown back, and a guttural groan ripped from his throat as he came.

You could feel his cock pulse within you as he spilled inside, the heat of his release spreading through your body. His hips stuttered slightly, pushing deeper as his orgasm washed over him, his face contorting in a mix of pleasure and relief. His breaths came in ragged gasps, and for a moment, the room was filled with nothing but the sound of his panting and the subtle creak of the bed beneath you.

His body was still pressed firmly against yours, his cock softening but still buried deep inside you, and you could feel his weight resting heavily on you. Slowly, Terzo lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours with a look of satisfied arrogance that only made the moment hotter. The smirk that curved his lips was smug and lazy, a man fully aware of the power he held over you.

“Perfetto,” he murmured, his voice husky and breathless. He lowered himself slightly, pressing his lips to yours in a slow, heated kiss. You could taste his satisfaction, the faint saltiness of sweat and the lingering traces of your own pleasure on his tongue.

When he finally pulled back, he released your wrists, his fingers trailing lightly over your skin as he sat up, his cock slipping from your body. You felt the cool air hit you, contrasting sharply with the warmth of his release that still dripped from between your thighs.

Terzo leaned back, fixing his gaze on the camera, his signature smirk in place as he casually straightened his clothing. He looked powerful and composed, a stark contrast to your naked, trembling form beneath him. Without even needing to say a word, his eyes conveyed everything—he knew exactly what he’d done, and how many people would watch him do it when this finally got uploaded.

Turning his attention back to you, he offered a hand, helping you sit up with a surprising gentleness, given the ferocity with which he’d just fucked you. His touch was still warm, his thumb brushing your skin as he whispered, “Che bella performance, tesoro.”

Terzo’s eyes glinted with a playful mischief as he reached for the camera, effortlessly lifting it with one hand while the other brushed against your thigh, still slick with the aftermath of your pleasure. He aimed the lens down towards you, and the moment he captured the view, he chuckled, his voice dripping with seductive satisfaction.

“Ecco,” he said, a triumphant grin spreading across his face. “Look at what I’ve done.” He held the camera steady, ensuring that every detail was perfectly framed—the way your thighs glistened, your pussy swollen and glistening with his cum spilling out, a true canvas to his art, and to the intense pleasure you’d just shared.

“Non è bellissimo?” he purred, clearly enjoying himself as he glanced between you and the camera, making sure his audience soaked in every tantalizing second. “This is what happens when you give yourself to me completely. Who wouldn’t want to see how beautifully you take me?”

With that, he tilted the camera closer, as if to tease the viewers with a closer look at the remnants of your passion. The sight of you, still panting and flushed, made his grin widen. “Such a good girl,” he murmured, pride lacing his tone. “Just look at you—perfectly ravaged and mine.”

You felt a rush of heat flood your cheeks, the mixture of embarrassment and thrill sending a shiver down your spine. Terzo, ever the showman, basked in the moment, letting the camera linger on your beaten pussy, the remnants of his cum a stark reminder of the wildness that had just unfolded.

Terzo turned the camera back to his face, still beaming with that signature cheekiness, and waved at the viewers. “Ciao, darlings! Until next time!” He flashed a wink before shutting off the feed, the air between you buzzing with the echoes of laughter and satisfaction.

As the last light from the camera dimmed, he leaned over, an earnest expression replacing the playful grin. “Beautiful girl,” he said, brushing a stray hair from your face, “you were incredible. Are you alright, amore?” His voice was soft, laced with genuine concern.

You nodded, still feeling the aftershocks of pleasure coursing through you, but his worried brow made you chuckle. “I’m fine, honestly. Just a bit… well, worn out,” you replied, giving him a teasing smile.

“Worn out?” he echoed, feigning shock. “I’m shocked—absolutely shocked! It’s as if I’ve just put you through a rigorous training regime.” He chuckled, moving down to grab a soft cloth from the bedside table. “Well, allow me to be your humble servant and clean you up, then.”

With a gentle touch, he began to wipe you down, the softness of the cloth contrasting with the heat still radiating from your body. “If I’d known this was part of the gig, I’d have charged more,” you joked, trying to stifle a laugh as he focused intently on his task.

“Ah, ma bella,” he grinned, “I’d pay any amount just for this privilege.” His fingers danced over your skin as he cleaned you with care, his eyes sparkling with affection. “I must admit, though, this isn’t how I expected our little escapade to go. I thought I’d just get to show off my talent.” He winked at you, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.

“You certainly did show off,” you replied, giving him a playful nudge. “Who knew you were such a—what did you call it? A ‘humble servant’?”

He chuckled, leaning in closer, his voice dropping to a mock-serious whisper. “I do believe that’s my new title. Papa Emeritus III, Humble Servant of the Ministry of Pleasure. It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

“Very catchy,” you replied, fighting back another laugh. “I’m sure the Ministry will put that on your business cards.”

“Esatto!” he exclaimed, puffing his chest out proudly. “Right next to ‘Professional Heartthrob.’” He finished cleaning you up and tossed the cloth aside with a flourish, as if he’d just completed a masterful performance.

“Now, how do you feel?” he asked, genuine warmth flooding his tone.

“Like I just had the most exhilarating experience of my life,” you replied, smiling widely. “And surprisingly, I’m not complaining about the aftermath either.”

“Good!” he exclaimed, his eyes brightening. “Just don’t forget to tell all the viewers how marvellous their Papa is, alright?” He nudged you playfully, his voice a teasing sing-song. “I wouldn’t want to lose my fanbase just because I’m a bit of a messy lover!”

You couldn’t help but giggle at his antics, feeling a rush of affection for this man who could seamlessly blend charm and humour, even in the most intimate of moments. “I promise, I’ll tell them you’re an absolute delight.”

“Delightfully messy, perhaps!” he corrected, throwing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close. “But no one can resist a little chaos, can they?”

“Indeed,” you replied, leaning against him, feeling the warmth of his presence envelop you. “Especially when it’s this much fun.”

Translations:

Amico - Male friend.

Ma dai - “Come on” or “Oh, come on.”

Tesoro - “Treasure,” often used as a term of endearment like “darling” or “dear.”

Immagina - “Imagine.”

Cose - “Things.”

Sei d’accordo? - “Do you agree?”

Certo - “Of course.”

Stipendio - “Salary” or “wage.”

Nuova avventura - “New adventure.”

Bellissima - Beautiful