#very fascinating and did not help me
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reading scientific articles on human scent glands to write one scene of a fic. sigh. guess what fic this is for.........
#human pheromones arent real. but also people do like have a smell. underneath their perfumes and colognes and detergents and stuff.#like individual people have their own smell. you know?#anyway i just wanted to find out if there were areas where it was more concentrated or not lol#the answer is: it depends on what kind of gland ur talkin abt bc theres 3 kinds that science generally considers to b human scent glands#very fascinating and did not help me#lots of like scientific journal articles available online for free on this tho lmao#its bc its the evolutionary pop psychology schtick that pickup artists and other shitty men love#if u cant tell i dont think very highly of evopsych#bc theres no way to actually prove it experimentally in a way that u can generalize to any population in modern day#anyway thats enough of my former psych student tangent lol#talk#text#mine#and if u got this far and hadnt already guessed this was for#f: changer#au: strawberry sunday
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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi the suckening#arthur bennett#HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT#this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT#ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH#WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME#DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER#HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW#AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE#I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game#but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping#DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds#I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors#what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE#while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs#THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN#WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS#the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band#EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION
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OC !
#my characters#i missed her so much wowee#her name is katale and thats what she goes by EXCEPT her best friend (and ex boyfriend and boss) who gets to call her kitty#hes just like the all around best guy in her life and she loves him a whole lot#and even though they broke up they have a very loving friendship and shes like#oh i would absolutely kill for him and in fact i am VERY good at killing im honing my skills :3#and her family is actually just a bunch of criminals and the only reason the other guy gets involved#is bc he needs fast money to help his mom with hospital bills and so hes like hey my mom doesnt need to know how shes alive#and then he somehow becomes head honcho and is a rumored to be ruthless man#but hes just incredibly level headed and able to think his way up (and kills a few unpleasant family members for kitty)#and if shes running out and about you can even hear him say shit like#my wife left me i miss my wife#and everyone knows he means katale but no one knows how to react bc its clearly a joke (???) since they broke up#but no one is telling their boss to elaborate the wife situation#kitty however is the entire reason that she gets this lil puppy of an agent to not kill rudyard her dear boss#and somehow they adopt this grown man and also his really weird mentor who faked their death#but they love their puppy son boy agent man#and kitty is super happy to dote on the agent but even she has her lines like WHY DID YOU JUST HAND HIM A GUN#RUDYARD HE TRIED TO KILL YOU LIKE LAST MONTH WHAT ARE YOU DOING#and rudyard is just ??? can i NOT shove a gun into his hands now? what is that? a crime? really? gonna tell on me? a criminal? for crimes?#but genuinely it stresses her out bc she loves her adopted son but loves her best friend and eventually she realizes#ok puppy agent man is loyal to them but not a criminal thats ok#while rudyard is like ... passing him guns to try out as a bonding thing#but also he is fascinated with how good the agents aim is like hey kitty you should watch how far he can shoot perfectly#hey kitty remember all those dead underlings and how precise their kills were to make them not suffer this guy is really good#also for what its worth ruds mom is still alive! shes just in a nursing home now and he goes to visit her#kitty and rudyard have such a fun dynamic to me and both are murderers but its okay (its not)#also kitty likes anime and she has forced rud to watch anime with her and he just accepts his fate#bc it makes kitty happy to share so he will watch to make her happy even if he doesnt understand all the appeal
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I wonder how sentients would have sex with a being of a different species. I wanna know what would make them feel pleasure. I think they procreate asexually, but how do they pleasure themselves or get pleasured? I wanna know for science.
I'm actually really curious too for science- yeah for science, of course!
Okay, yeah the lore gives us nothing. Damn.
#I'm actually really curious too because its clear they feel pain and other things very intensely and are alive however machine they may be#very human mannerisms too at least from Erra & I think Lotus would be easy to excite given she has human aspects mixed in from void#reality altering and whatever tampering Ballas did to her. By easy I mean easy to figure out hypothetically how to yknow do that.#gotta be careful with these tags lmao#and how would one stimulate Natah's mother too? she's a giant spaceship basically in that one small trailer we saw of her#the fandom wikia and devs haven't given us much of anything since it's a 17 and up game sadge but like we can make headcanons xD#I think it would be like a case of what all parties involved consent to and are comfortable with and just a fun activity for a sentient to#help their partner with yknow? Maybe that kind of thing if they don't feel those kinds of sensations but want to love their SO(s)#and indulge in those activities because they know their partners enjoy it; sorry if wording is bad im kinda tired#sentient bodies are fascinating to me like idk i wanna study these sentients and like figure out how they work#also I'm sure Stalker x Hunhow fans are dying to know lmao#mod rose#warframe confession#warframe#nsft
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When I find it hard to do certain things, I like to pretend I am a neanderthal living in a cave with my clan, and I must do The Thing in order to survive.
So, when I'm doing cardio at the gym, I'm actually chasing and tracking a mammoth, and when I need to cook, well, I'm not cooking on a stove top, I am hurdled over the first fire and watching the fat of our kill drip down onto the burning wood. And when I find it hard to crochet, I pretend that the first winter storm is coming and our clan needs me to make blankets to hurdle under and that I must contribute.
I hope whatever you do to do The Things will help. It is a uniquely personable trait to motivate yourself through pretend and stories. That's what makes this life interesting - that's what makes you feel larger than yourself 💛
#mental health#positivity#it helps that i absolutely adore learning things about ancient people too - it's endlessly fascinating#unironically if somebody has textbook/video recommendations about neanderthals/ancient civilization let me know i will froth at the mouth#i like talking about this because it gives other people ideas about how they can motivate themselves#and personally the feeling of being ancient or a part of something old makes me feel that#in addition to the There Are 8 Billion People principle i work on the There Have Been ~117 Billion People Here principle#i find it comforting to think that i don't stand out significantly in a good or bad way because of the sheer NUMBER of people who have live#the human brain is bad at computing those numbers but... just... that's an insurmountable number#there truly are very VERY few experiences truly unique and that's not a bad thing#that just means that you aren't forgotten nor are you alone in anything#i was watching a video about somebody making flax into thread using a paper that was published about ancient textiles#and holy shit i wanted to bite somebody because i was so interested in it and it's just so humanizing to both us but also ancient people#those people probably used very very similar techniques that the video maker did - at first she used a rock to get the fibers#and then she remarked that saliva helped to get to the fiber of the flax and i wonder how many ancient people also did that
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So, okay, I made a post a bit about this yesterday, but I've had a lot of thoughts since then and a useful conversation with my therapist. So. Complaining about dyspraxia below
I haven't been formally diagnosed with dyspraxia. It's actually pretty much the only diagnosis I've given to myself without at least medical confirmation. But I've given it to myself based on both a lot of research and comments I have received from medical practitioners (e.g. my pediatrician commenting on my weak grip, not meeting developmental milestones on time, comments from teachers, etc). And today my therapist said she's pretty sure I have it based not just on what I've reported but what she's observed in the way I physically interact with the world over the years, so that was helpful and validating. And we contacted my doctor today to hopefully get a referral to an OT, who will be able to actually assess me, which would be very cool. Because I still doubt myself all the time and go "you don't really have this" except like...I do though lol.
Part of the reason I doubt myself about it is that it hasn't had that much impact for many years. But recently, that has changed, and I've realized that it's not that I got better, it's that I went on disability and stopped trying to do a lot of things I used to do and spent like all day on my computer and got assistance with most physical tasks. I'm doing much, much better mental health wise lately, which is amazing, and as a result I'm engaging more and more with the physical world around me, whether that's going on walks or to the grocery store or cooking or dressing nicely or eating in restaurants or trying art or whatever. Which is great!
But it's all. so. fucking. physically. difficult. Not in an exhausting way, in a coordination way. Pushing carts at the grocery store? I bump into things constantly and get really overwhelmed by it and a few weeks ago dropped a glass bottle of olive oil that shattered all over the aisle in the store. Cooking? I love to cook, but it takes me at least 2 to 3 times the time to make any given recipe because I know myself and know I can't multitask so I do all the prep all at once up front, and slowly at that bc cutting vegetables is hard. Putting on makeup? Better set aside 10 minutes just to try to put on lip gloss without going outside the lines. Going to a restaraunt? Often a mortifying experience where I a) bump into other tables and/or b) have food all over my shirt by the end of the meal, which is so embarrassing but I've struggled with it my whole life. And it's just. It's all really really difficult and often I feel so ashamed when I drop something or bump into something or get messy or whatever in public and it just...it just sucks. And I get so so so frustrated and flustered and overwhelmed when I'm trying to do basic tasks at home like hanging up clothes or whatever and it's just so difficult and frustrating for me.
And I had forgotten how hard it all was because for years I just spent all my time on my computer. But I'm not doing that now. Which is great! But I trip and stumble and knock into things and get lost outside and can't do the things I want to do and I'm just constantly reminded that the physical world is very challenging for me. My probable dyspraxia has really been interfering with my life lately in pretty significant ways that have surprised me, I had kind of forgotten how frickin hard it makes a lot of things. I consider myself able bodied for the most part but I'm remembering now that like...not exactly 100% actually. And it just kind of sucks. A lot.
The good news is that as I mentioned, we contacted my GP about it and hopefully I'll get an assessment and maybe even some OT and/or PT, which could hopefully really help me. Because I'm trying very hard to recover and regain some independence, and this is proving a more significant challenge towards those goals than I had expected.
#text post#my post#also fun fact: childhood dyspraxia is a significant predictor for adult non-affective psychosis (aka schizophrenia like i have)#which is just kind of fascinating to me. what's going on in that there brain of mine???#anyway. annoyed that physical tasks are so hard. but my therapist did show me how to use claw clips in my hair today which was helpful#waaaaay easier than hair ties#i just need to find workarounds like that for things#and i have! i have ways of compensating for most of it that i've developed throughout my life#i can certainly do lots of things now that i very much could not as a child like tie my shoes and do up zippers#even if i learned those things years late at least i learned them#but like. yeah. just bc i've figured some things out and have workarounds for others doesn't mean it's all easy#and i'm kind of hoping it's not too late for OT to help me (and that insurance will cover it if my GP refers me)#anyway#this has been: today's vent post
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i'm sorry if you genuinely think bozzi and leclerc "copied the other driver/engineer's strategy" i canttttttt take you seriously
#do any of you understand how this team shit works. how this pre-race strategy meetings team shit works.#or calling this win 'lucky' be for reallllllll#i dont generally go for the block button but that should be an immediate block#its just fascinating the thought processes required to avoid admitting some of these guys are just good at their jobs#possibly better than others.#there's thoughts in me about the ways fandom 'character analysis' trends intersect with the way people talk about f1 on tumblr/twitter#while just completely forgetting or ignoring not just the competitive sports of it all but the very real ways the teams operate#did you guys know ferrari has a whole 'remote garage' of engineers in italy that tune in every race just to analyse data in real time#and feed back possible strategies to the pit wall that then get discussed and acted on based on drivers feedback?#do you GENUINELY think its just bryan bozzi leaning over fred's shoulder to copy adami's homework#you know ferrari has their very own hannah schmidt? maybe not as good as her but there's a dude in there whose job is 'tell us what to do'#maybe you could learn his name it might be helpful#sorry AND ONE MORE THING#how do you call yourself a leclerc fan and then turn around to call this a lucky win#it required outqualifying his teammate#it required taking advantage of the situation around him to jump lando at la roggia#it required sticking close to both mclarens in dirty air and taking a gamble on the early pit stop#it required 37 LAPS ON HARDS THAT NEVER WENT BELOW OR ABOVE 1:23:000 EXCEPT ONCE#and yes it required required teamwork. as most wins do unless you have a rocket under your ass (and/or don't know how to use it)#the only lucky part was lando once again fumbling the first lap and george taking himself out at turn 1#but you understand he still had to drive the rest of the 52 laps himself right. god#its too early for me to be this mad
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Man is saying weird things to me again
#help mom he's oversharing about drinking scotch every evening#that's very on brand for Man#tales from diana#i literally did Nothing to reach out to him i don't know what he wants#i was just thinking in the shower literally not even half an hour ago about how you know it's strange#he used to always have this way of talking to me like he was trying to impress me which is just kinda silly honestly#like i was a 20-21-year-old in awe of him and he was a retired male model eight years older than me w more life experience#and some rather exotic and interesting experiences at that#i think he somewhat envies that i seem (at least to him) like a self-possessed 'intellectual'#thats how he talks to me at least. it's funny tho#not that im not. like. smart. i think the both of us know i'm better-read than he'll be in 3 lifetimes#and i'm not quite self-possessed but i certainly don't have the open-wounded insecurity he does#while also being rather more confident than most ppl in some areas (and it's not ALL unearned)#he's got much more ambition than i do though. more ambition than i'll have in 10 lifetimes#and he seems to do everything with a motivation of external validation and approval.#so i think he has a chip on his shoulder. poor little Man#the two of us could not be more opposite. but i don't really strive to be like him in the ways he strives to be like me#he chases this dream of what he thinks the perfect man is and it's quite inhuman so of course he falls short.#i on the other hand am if anything much TOO accepting of my own faults and shortcomings. ahem#these are all things i will never say to Man. he's too silly to hear it#besides. im rather sure he likes me (? in some way) and i am these days just very ambivalent to him#i can't NOT say i find him attractive bc i do but he's just. sooooo not the one lol#he's a fascinating creature all flaws aside but i never find myself studying him at my own volition#Man just comes outta the woods sometimes to tell me about his travels or women or whiskey. he's odd#he's very eccentric but between the two of us i think i'm the better eccentric. no wonder he visits me sometimes#but he brings gifts and prayers like he's coming to a devotional shrine or something. i'm like sir this is not a temple#he'll never be normal but he is so strange in the ways i'm too good for. if i do say so myself#(and that's saying something bc i'm not too good for ANYTHING)
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i've made the acquaintance of a couple of first year students (some of them i'm tutoring officially and everything) and inevitably they ask me how i study how i handle writing papers and getting the citing right etc. great questions entirely reasonable things to ask someone unfortunately i have no good answers since "well buddy i cannot emphasize enough how much all this is my version of fun" is uh. Unhelpful
#help me what do i SAY#i hung out with one of them all evening today she's very nice and she mentioned schubert/pkk was confusing her and so i explained it and#in the middle she was like elke why do you REMEMBER all that. how did you learn that.#i just truly genuinely think it's fucking fascinating sorry pal 😭 if i went to parties this would be my party trick. i already start#talking about these things to anyone who'll stand still long enough
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Are you an academic lesbian? 👀
unfortunately yes
#Answered#personal#its the woorst. i got all a's in college save for like three classes i got b's in cuz i couldnt give a big enough shit for them#and now im plagued by nightmares of failing my classes forever cuz i wouldve had to drop out if i didnt get my scholarships#which was the Nightmare Scenario for so long that its ingrained itself into my very being. but im also like a bitch abt it LMAO#like i was the smartest person in any rs/hist/ps class by far and my profs Knew That so anytime some dumb bitch spoke up they looked at ME#like DARING me to speak up bc they KNEW i could pull their spine from their back and like. I WOULD#bc i did the READINGS like a PROPER STUDENT and loved opportunities to make men suffer for disrespecting my beloved profs#and now im a pre-k teacher who uses NONE of the stuff i learned cuz i went to college for the fun of academia lol#and lowkey its helping me unlearn a lot of stress i love my kids so much i cant wait for summer to be over so i can see them all again#anyway. yes im an academic lesbian its genuinely a struggle to read anything that isnt historical nonfiction and im not kidding#i love american history! 1800-1920 is like my favorite time period to study and first wave american feminism is fascinating to me
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My friend today was like you know fern I think your genshin favs are really funny because to me they’re all very tame green flags that have good vibes and then there’s zhongxiao which everyone hates. And I was like. WELL…..YES….SNUCHFJFJCNC
#fern.txt#xiao nahida chongyun as favs…also like xinyan yun jin and Liyue in general….and then it’s just like. anyways…….zx codependent yuri. and#there is such a split on who gets it!! see I just think it’s fun as sort of a framing to do tragic character study through#bc of the way xiaos dynamic w zhongli is very relevant to#exploring how xiao dehumanizes himself a lot and would actively encourage zl having power over him bc he wants to just serve a purpose#and trusts zl to use him for said purpose. meanwhile zl is very smart n responsible abt how he#handles having power over ppl. which is very interesting to me#and I think it’s fun pairing xiao wiht someone who is very aware how much power he has over him and navigates around#trying to help him while not intervening too much directly bc that#could do more harm than good n isn’t how zl operates#but no everyone just has to be like. really passive aggressive and pushy Abt pushing it as parental all the time#AHHHH#fascinating case where u can draw them kissing and ppl will be weirdly pushy Abt insisting it’s father son#despite it being tagged as ship and think ur the weird one for it? dude!!#i did not mean to go on a whole tangent I just enjoy them a lot haha
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Demyx (my beloved)
#kingdom hearts#demyx#honestly is there an organization member i dont like? not really tbh#ok i lied maybe one but even then i find him fascinating so even he gets a pass#demyx being such a good boy who doesnt actually care for fighting then having the whole kh3 thing#where he has the yellow eyes but still just helps the good team vaguely then dips out of the entire game#where did he go and why .... what secrets do you hold young man#i should replay kh3 cause there are things i think i remember but idk for sure#like wasnt there actually a scene where hes just... been benched for being bad at being bad or smth#i really remember a scene where either he says or someone else is like oh yeah he got benched lol#like why does he have to be so funny yet get so little screen time im dying squirtle#though for the record him just handing a mannequin to even and saying peace out for the rest of the game WAS hilarious#this is me living the best time line where not only does demyx just dip and never get mentioned from anyone#but also in an otome i played theres a route where my fave guy just also dips early on#and then in the very end some other LI asks another LI what happened to him btw like where did he go#and the another LI was like oh my god i forgot about him idk man#my favorites just making an appearance and leaving is really funny to me#these tags got super long bc im very stressed and now devoting brain power to vgs in order to not cry
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guys what if and hear me out instead of Donnie having a crush on April they just have a weird fascination with humans
#like I feel like if you do that it’d fix a whole lot of sh-t#dont worry they get a scolding for their weird behavior I promise#my stuffy stuff#tmnt#tmnt 2012#WARNING dumping about my personal take on 2012 tmnt#me thinks Donnie should’ve jsut had a weird fascination with humans and human life from the get go#like ITMAKES SENSE#and it makes their insecurities way more understandable#like what if they’ve craved human life since forever ago and they jsut wanna be human but they can’t so they live vicariously through#other people while also studying them to see if they can become human through…..other means they know it’s illogical and weird but#they can’t help it is it so wrong to want to be normal#they people they study are mostly jsut people walking down the street they follow me for a bit and just….watch em#Donnie doesn’t consider Casey a good canidant for human observation mostly cause he’s just too weird to be ”normal”#Casey did try and volunteer though(boy was crushing hard ok)#he got pouty when he was rejected#Donnie was very much obssesed with April but just in a “she’s so normal!!!“ way#April got really uncomfortable and shut it down after a few weeks almost a month#Donnie doesn’t understand why shes so mad at them I mean it knows it’s weird but come on it’s not that bad#Leo also puts some sense in them after it doesn’t stop when april has told them to many times over#after awhile Donnie gets the hint and stops they also realize how badly affected their relationships are because of it#it’s and Casey’s is the worst#after this they finally talk with its family and try and work through their stuff though it isn’t an instant fix it helps#it’s and Casey’s relationship gets so much better after they start talking#Donnie still has insecurities of course but it realizes they shoudnt push their problems onto other people
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local author is absolutely obsessed with raph and leo's relationship following the end of season 2 and is making it everyone's problem, more at 11!
#theyre so fascinating to me#let me pull up my notes on them so i can ramble like a crazy person in the tags#heres the thing. raph is the eldest sibling. its his job to keep his little brothers safe#and hes been the leader their whole lives. like they were clearly allowed to do whatever they wanted with little parental supervision#so it would be the most obvious and natural choice for the oldest to be the leader#and like clearly the others are on board (at least during canon events)#and leos the most supportive of raph and his leadership out of all of them. constantly hyping him up. even calling on mind raph#because leo trusts raphs judgement (more than his own id go so far as to say tbh)#(i genuinely believe that leo has always looked up to raph since they were very young.)#so i think leo would see him being promoted to leader as undeserved. unearned. it belongs to raph because hes always been there for them.#(~impostor syndrome babey)#meanwhile raph is struggling to find where he belongs on the team now that hes not the leader#i think raph would have liked to have someone guide him through being leader because its HARD!!! ur choices can and WILL have consequences#so hes trying to be that for leo. he tries to be there the way no one was there so that leo doesnt struggle the way raph did#and also its a good way to ignore having to process how HE feels about the demotion#bc it was so unexpected there would obviously be feelings of guilt and self-doubt and 'was i good enough'#and obviously raph isnt going to tell his brothers how hes struggling to find his place on the team now#because hes the oldest and the oldest sibling is the shoulder to lean on. not there to dump their insecurities on their little siblings#the problem is that leo isnt raph#and raph is so focused on helping leo and not dealing with his own stuff that he forgets that.#i think raph sees himself as the leader of the team and the smashy guy. the powerhouse#(i say that with the belief that raph is the HEART of the team btw. only he doesnt know that lmao)#leo himself is also projecting a little onto raph. like i really do believe he thinks raph hates him for 'stealing' his role#(its bullshit but like. brains are dumb sometimes so)#leo seeks out validation but ESPECIALLY raph's validation (like donnie tbh)#to leo a leader is someone you can count on. and he doesnt see himself as reliable#rottmnt#ataimw#rottmnt raph#rottmnt leo
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finished swtor update earlier today and im still thinking like. tavon gripping petra by the shoulders: do not trust the empire. do not fucking trust the empire. DO NOT fucking trust the empire.
#shitpost#he's standing there like. im not imperial.#(and he isn't. but so many people assume he is)#anyways. had a lot of absolutely fascinating interactions this update#tavon is like. trying to lie to krovos and petra was like NOOO and tavon is like#petra. they will not care. the ONLY person who will help you in this room. is me. now please. stop giving the empire information.#we need to keep them in the dark as much as fucking possible#tavon: lies about his intentions with sahar.#tavon's character development has just been a blast. its still so wild to me where he is now#like. he did end agent storyline in a very funky place with his loyalty#but like. the empire is a system he understands intrinsically while he's like. divorced from it in terms of his actual goals.#like. yeah the alliance is allied with the empire. but he has been and will continue to be alliance first#he does EVERYTHING he can to undermine the empire and the republic basically at all times. lmao
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Hello. Me again.
I wanna do a bunch of comics as I replay the games so I won't answer everything XD but to answer a basic question;
You can play as a male or female Shepard, but Bioware intended the main character to be female. But because video games they were afraid dudebros wouldn't want to play a female lead so they just gave you a choice. Both are called "Shepard" because it's the last name. (Femshep's first name is Jane).
There is also character creation. So you can create a Shepard OC. but Shepard is one of the weirdest main characters I've ever seen, because as the years have gone on... instead of people leaning more into the self insert style of mass Effect, default Jane Shepard has become more and more popular. So these days most art and fanfic will write her as a default instead of a player/reader insert. it's fucking wild!
Also I am still in ME1 so she's still in uniform, but uh... that doesn't last.
........also yes I own the hoodie....
As for everything else... I selfishly don't want to spoil?? Even tho you can literally google it?? 😂 Because I wanna draw it because who boy.... do my babies have a storm coming....
I see! That is super cool, though--I like that female Shepard was intended to be the more canonical between the selectable characters. I wasn't 100% sure about it because I do remember seeing a mention or two about an option between male and female, but I've really only ever seen concept of female Shepard.
And I also think that it's super neat that Shepard's default is so popular! It's sort of a double-reverse of what you'd expect, and people are so baller for that, to be honest.
It sort of reminds me of how--when I play a Legend of Zelda game--I'll usually default to the names I can chose as being the canonical names. Link as Link, Epona as Epona, etc... same with the Pokemon games.
I think part of the reason for that might also be due to consistency. It seems like Mass Effect is a chronological series that takes place over the course of a period of time that features the same characters, so it'd make sense for the main character to remain the same over time.
You look at game series like Fallout, customization is much easier to get a hold of because each game (if I'm correct) features a new main character. It allows for more customization of the experience to fit around the character, but since Mass Effect is in that chronological story that follows the same or a similar cast, it's easier to have an agreed-upon default than it is to have a thousand or so different Shepherds, especially since they all end up sharing the same name (which takes away a part of that customization process).
It could also be that, as Shepard is the name given to the character, it feels ingenuine to a lot of people to have them deviate from their default--as if it's changing their identity. Already having the name implies that the character doesn't exist in a vacuum--they already existed before in the context of the game.
I! Am! Rambling! But I do find it super interesting to think about this!
#also if i do end up getting spoiled it'll either be likely by your hand#or my curiosity getting the better of me and spurring me to watch a playthrough of it on youtube lol#i hope my rambling about default shepherd and names made sense :D#it really is fascinating how games like pokemon with limited customization inspire people to self-insert themselves so much#while a game like mass effect that allows for character customization but solidifies the name keeps the default character#as the most popular interpretation#depending on the story of mass effect it could also be argued that it's similar to link#wherein the story is so intrinsically tied into the character itself that making the character someone else just feels odd#which also wouldn't be helped much by the inability to change their name :V#ALSO did i JUST realize that the name is spelt 'shepard' and not 'shepherd'? yes. did i just edit this post to reflect that? also yes#i am very smart indeed yes and very humble in admitting my mistakes that is true
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