#very anxious LMAO
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#tumblr polls#random polls#poll time#i love looking at usernames and wondering what it MEANS#so many of you guys have such cool sounding usernames#i just picked random words i like LMAO#serious because people always see me as super serious irl (i'm just a very anxious perfectionist lol)#and turd because i have the sense of humor of a toddler and think poop jokes are funny
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BILLDUMP TIME (with transparency, because I can). Don't mind me, I'm just yeeting my goofy art at some way more talented individuals out of nowhere and then hauling ass back to the security of being a weird silent lurker ahaha
@tesscourtes and @beccadrawsstuff, respectively! These two Bills make a little prism of sorts together because of their recent crossovers on Patreon~ :3c Speaking of which, I highly recommend supporting both these artists! They do fantastic work! (TessCourtes and Beccup)
@qoolk on the left, and @monobmp on the right! I am such a sucker for these outfits~ OuO Go and check these two out, their art is phenomenal!!! >u<
@1spooky2me The most difficult Bill of the lot for me to draw, ahaha... Their art is so incredibly consistent and dynamic, I am, a little envious <:,) A little envious, but mostly impressed, so go look at their amazing art, what are you waiting for
And finally, @ckret2, whose writing is sublimely in-character and just a delight to read - they're a great artist, as well! I simply Could Not resist drawing their Bill in this ridiculous incredible and very fashionable pink feather dress, even though he only briefly wears it in their fic, so I also did a little bonus doodle of him in his standard hoodie to make up for it. XD (Also, as far as I'm concerned, Bill and Mabel were both correct in that lime green accessories make the dress Much Better.)
This is just a small selection of the human Bill designs I enjoy. I may draw and post more later on, who knows! Feel free to reblog with some neat Bill designs, either your own or by other folks - if any of the designs particularly call to me, I'll add them to the little list I've got going~ :D (Alternatively, if you really like my stuff and want me to draw something specific, you could...mmm...perhaps, commission me...? OuO)
Also I'm tagging Billford because uhhhh yeah, sorry not sorry, every single one of these Bills is getting shipped with Ford by the artists in some way or another, lmao
#fanart#gravity falls#bill cipher#human bill cipher#human bill design#billford#bill is just so Gender#regardless of whether or not he's a triangle. just. such Gender. wow#honestly tempted to draw the OG twink!bill and the mangopablo save-the-town!bill just for funzies#i may also attempt to draw alex hirsch's “canon” human!bill but uhhhh who knows LOL#i kinda feel like he made the design extra ugly just to poke fun at the fandom#so the “canon” aspect of it is kinda up in the air for me personally LMAO#not sure if i drew goldilocks!bill thicc enough tbh#just. look. it's hard to draw a person who is as close to triangular as a human can possibly get. ok??? ok#I TRIED AND THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT OnO#in other news why did these turn out so much better than the drawings of my own design??? wtf that's so rude#get it together ME this is fukken embarrassing#btw if i draw something for you and you respond to thank me only to have me say nothing back it's because i am very awkward and anxious lol#there is also the adhd which makes me forget that i failed to respond like a normal person would have ahahahaha o-o#but mostly it's the horrors of being perceived for more than the two seconds it takes to yeet an art at a person O-O#why am i like this? good question! maybe i'll have an answer someday when i can actually afford therapy XD#I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ASLEEP FIVE HOURS AGO
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I think that there’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what exactly is…happening with Izuku’s character. Specifically in regards to chapter 425.
I’m glad that a lot more people generally recognize that Izuku is not a character that can be read at a surface level, given that he’s both a repressed person with built up emotion of basically everything and also a very glaringly HUGELY unreliable narrator, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I agree with the ways I’ve seen this most recent chapter spoken about.
I see posts, comments, etc with ideas like “Izuku don’t suppress your emotions! Open up with people! It’ll be okay I promise!” When that’s fundamentally not what is happening here.
There’s always always ALWAYS been a distinct difference in character throughout horikoshi’s writing when he is showing that a character is:
A—Avoiding emotions, thoughts, ideas less than ideal for them. Not opening up when they probably should about their problems given that they’ve been handed the space to do so. Just genuinely not acknowledging, feeling, or expressing emotions that they don’t want.
B—Reflecting on the ways they feel about the world, themselves, or other people given their new perspective on a situation. Not outright reaching out to others to talk about these problems/feelings, but instead waiting until the moment they feel they have the most confidence to do so with their new outlook on their own life.
And genuinely, guys, to grab your BkDk attention rn, this is the exact reason why Ochako’s reflection on her feelings for Izuku and thereafter decision to pull away from them WAS NEVER GOING TO END IN OCHAKO EXPLODING WITH HER LOVE FOR HIM.
This was another common interpretation I saw of Ochako and Izuocha for a long time. That because she pushed these feelings away, they were somehow going to explode in this unbelievable way and she would “get the boy” because of it. That her arc would surround accepting her romantic feelings and that she can’t just push away how she feels for a career.
But yk. That didn’t happen. At all. Nowhere close even.
The same kind of goes for Katsuki, allmight, etc. They all had moments in their arc where it was spent genuinely reflecting, and the only reason we as the audience never connected it in the same ways we do ochako or Izuku was ALWAYS BECAUSE the narrative showed their inner thoughts while doing so (mostly because Allmight’s arc after losing OFA and Katsuki’s arc on what it means to be a hero were so intrinsically tied, both starting at the same time and ending at the same time during the final war. And because they were so tied this caused their own reflections, development, and thought process to be broadcasted to us frequently throughout their arcs… to each other. They also somewhat shared aspects with Izuku, but these were cherry picked more often than not, like dvk2 for example).
To us Katsuki never seemed to be.. idk, suppressing his anger in any way because we were always told what he was doing and why (side note: this is why I’ve always thought arguments against Katsuki were so weird, bc unlike characters like endeavor or Ochako he wasn’t like… hiding who he was and how he was changing. Ever. Like the audience knows at all times past basically season 3 what Katsuki is thinking and doing. Like how do you watch this happen, stare me dead in the eye, and tell me how much of a terrible and awful teenage boy he is. Like damn I didn’t think we were this dumb. This is also my theory as to why he’s most popular, his arc is very… in your face if that makes sense). Katsuki’s entire mini arc on reflecting his mistakes and his childhood and his future is spent TELLING YOU that it’s what he’s doing. (I’m referring mostly to the endeavor internship arc, the provisional license exam makeup, and basically everything in the war arc related to him leading up to bakugou Katsuki rising here)
And see, Horikoshi will stare you dead in the eye, tell you “this girl has taken into consideration that she doesn’t want to waste her time training her career focusing on a boy because he kinda caught her fancy”, and y’all will still say that this will explode in her face.
Y’all this is a series about learning how to manage emotions, maturity in relationship to one’s emotions, how to feel an emotion, but in a way that is helpful. Horikoshi isn’t telling you “go buck wild, feel everything all the time and always express it”, in fact he explores why you DONT do that! Through Toga or Shigaraki, they show how grief and anger can genuinely consume you. But he also shows why you shouldn’t just put everything in a box to never look at or acknowledge, or why you shouldn’t just let your grief destroy the world around you, or pretending that some emotions simply don’t exist.
I can’t say this enough, so let me say it now, mha is about the extremes of your psyche. That you should control something, but not too much. Everything can be harmful. Everything can be good.
Izuku is not controlling too much, he’s expressing just enough.
I LOVE shaming this dickhead at all times in all my posts. I love saying he’s an ignorant dipshit with a weird amount of distaste for a girl who just confessed to him. I’ve joked that chapter 348 is basically an entire chapter spent on Izuku calling Himiko a mean dyke. And yet I also believe he’s doing nothing WRONG here.
In fact, I’ll even say that this moment right here?
ISNT EVEN IZUKU DOING THE SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE THING ABOUT IT! But he’s still TRYING to reach out to someone he thinks MIGHT be able to understand. (And frankly, this moment is far deeper than what it’s being made out to be, to me it reads more like an unrequited friendship that Izuku both desires and has thought of them to have, while simultaneously showing the distance Ochako has successfully wedged between them for her own sake. Maybe it was always there though, maybe in weird, miscommunicated Horikoshi fashion, this is a representation of how Ochako always read all those “fun friend hangouts” as a little more than that, and without those feelings the friendship never really held any substance to her in the first place. Where Izuku saw his first real friend at UA, she saw little more than acquaintance)
Simultaneously, Izuku is genuinely reflecting on what it means for the world to change, to be a hero, to live after loss—and trying and failing to gain the connection he desires from individuals who can not and will not afford him that.
Izuku is ready for the world to change, a few select characters are also ready for the world to change (mirio, for example), but not nearly enough are. So maybe I’ll have to take this back if I’m proven wrong and I accidentally looked into this far past what everyone else did for no reason, but I genuinely believe with moments like this
And this
Aand this
That Izuku has come forward with that aspect of his character development. He’s reflecting on his new beliefs, not repressing his emotions for them.
#bkdk#I will also say that while Izuku did do a bit of a fake smile and attitude for Katsuki’s breakdown last chapter#he gets a bit of an excuse for that suppression. theres a time and place to be strong for a friend. and while izuku didn’t exactly say ALL-#the right things or think the right thoughts… he still imo fits into control your heart within that moment#you can ‘be strong’ for someone who’s sad or anxious without you being out to be an ultra suppressive self hating boy man#in that moment katsuki probably would’ve needed that if izuku had said literally anything else but ‘I’m glad I had this dream while it-#lasted!’ and ‘your probably just feeling very weird right now’… DUDE I CANNOT KEEP DEFENDING YOUR ASS#midoriya izuku#mha deku#bakudeku#bkdk brainrot#bnha deku#bakugou katsuki#mha analysis#deku midoriya#last side note lmao: I’ve done like five drafts for this and if this one isn’t good enough hopefully someone better than me can remake this#or I’ll make this at a later time when more things come out#I just knew I wanted this out before the next chapter leaks#which are probably tonight lolllll#oh and I proof read like 80% of this so y’all are getting what you fucking get
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Deep deep fear that one day all my friends are gonna decide they just don't wanna talk to me anymore for whatever reason and unfortunately, I won't get the memo and will keep trying and that'll just make them hate me more :(
#Logically in my LOGICAL brain I know that's silly#I wish I was not like this cause it causes so much fucking stress#for no reason#for imaginary reasons that don't exist#I also shouldn't be this anxious cause my friends aren't like that#they are all very good to me#and they probably don't have reasons to do that but I could give them several#I have very good friends that I really don't deserve but I'm too afraid to push people away so :)#vent tw#urghh sorry it's gettin so bleak on main#just having a rough night after a nice weekend#I think the combo of nightmares + feeling good lately has destroyed me lmao#anyway Kid Leo Update tomorrow#yayyy#don't respond to this it's just me yeling at the void#if you see this and we're friends uhhh no I will not elaborate actually I am just gonna sleep it off
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Two years ago today, I posted my first ever fic. Last year I drafted something sappy and deleted it because I was afraid no one would care - but you know what, I’m proud of myself so I’m gonna celebrate that!!
I’ve been in fandom spaces a little over a decade now, and I always felt like I was on the periphery and thought writing was something I wouldn’t be capable of so I didn’t even try. I had all these ideas that would bounce around my head, and it wasn’t until a made some friends in this fandom that I finally found the courage to write it down.
And it turns out I adore writing, and a couple people even like what I have to say! So this is my sappy post to say how grateful I am for all the people who got me here and have supported me every step of the way, from my friends and mutuals to anyone who left a comment or kudos ❤️
Here’s my first fic if anyone wants to check it out 🫶 I’ve come a long way since this one but I’m still proud of it
Tagging some mutuals to say thank you for all the love and support, it means more than you know ❤️ @monsterrae1 @lonelychicago @rogerzsteven @prettyboybuckley @saybiwithme
@beyourownanchor6 @eddiebabygirldiaz @spotsandsocks @bekkachaos @exhuastedpigeon
@bidisasterevankinard @evanbi-ckley @hippolotamus @loveyouanyway
#okay I’m done#if you read all that thank you#just feeling very grateful and sappy#also trying to ignore the election results bc I’m so fucking anxious lmao#also I almost deleted this again lmao because I’m embarrassed#em rambles
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saw you.
#pokemon#swsh#rival hop#professor hop#october piece. it's the october piece#the triple feature will happen soon! I'm thinking abt what snack to make for that.#since the senpai's currently in digestive agony. I'd like to figure something out for it#in another news as well. the game's about to ship! and I'll get my copy soon. hopefully. I'm very anxious about postal stuff here#I have. very bad luck with international mails#when it arrives I'll take photos#mmm. I never really thought of pieces I did with this design to be sequential. but they kind of are?#at least it's become that way now. so next installment next year it seems#wait did I ever post the design sketch for this one lmao... I know I posted the one for the 'modern' variant#but I dont think the sketch for this one specifically ever got posted#well. if I cant find it then I'll post it. otherwise I'll be rebloggin some stuff on the day#have a good night lads. hey if you still have a deviantart account you should delete that shit
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hi hiii i wanted to say that your account is so refreshing to see, esp with the passion you have for the arts. as someone who's been meaning to read (and write) more poetry, do you have any recommendations? some classics that everyone and their mothers know? perhaps some underrated pieces that changed you? or even just authors you like, I'm very open to suggestions :]]
Hi! Thank you so much for this kind ask :) So exciting that you’re looking to delve deeper into reading and writing! I had to take a little time to answer this because my thoughts were all over the place lol.
For a review of notable/classic poems/poets, I honestly just recommend looking at lists online or, hell, just binging Wikipedia pages for different countries’ poetry if that’s something you’re into, just to get a sense of the chronology. I read one of those little Oxford Very Short Introductions on American Poetry and thought it was pretty good, but online is quicker if you’re just searching for poets or movements to hone in on. Poetry Foundation also has lots of resources, in addition to all the poems in their database. I guess my one big classic recommendation would have to be Emily Dickinson (<3), but really the best move is just to find a poet you already enjoy and then look around to see who their peers were/are, who they were inspired by, who they’ve maybe translated here and there, etc. and follow it down the line as far as you can.
For some personal recs, here are some collections I’ve really enjoyed over the past two years or so. Bolded favorites, and linking where select poems from the book have been published online. But also, if you want a preview of a couple poems from another of the books to see if they interest you, DM me and I can send them over! You can also feel free to pilfer through my poetry tag for more stuff lol
Autobiography of Death by Kim Hyesoon trans. Don Mee Choi
Conflict Resolution for Holy Beings by Joy Harjo
DMZ Colony by Don Mee Choi
Hardly War by Don Mee Choi
Whereas by Layli Long Soldier
Geography III by Elizabeth Bishop
Dictee by Theresa Hak Kyung Cha
Don’t Let Me Be Lonely: An American Lyric by Claudia Rankine
Mouth: Eats Color—Sagawa Chika Translations, Anti-Translations, & Originals by Sawako Nakayasu
The Selected Poems of Osip Mandelstam trans. W.S. Merwin and Clarence Brown
The Branch Will Not Break by James Wright
This Journey by James Wright
God’s Silence by Franz Wright
Duino Elegies by Rainer Maria Rilke (the translation I read was by Alfred Corn—I thought it was great, but idk if there are better ones out there!)
DMZ Colony, Hardly War, Dictee, Don’t Let Me Be Lonely, and partially Whereas are all book-length poems with some prose poetry and varying levels of weirdness/denseness/multilingualism—if you were to pick one to start with, I’d say do Don’t Let Me Be Lonely or Whereas. Mouth: Eats Color is some experimental translations of Japanese modernist poet Chika Sagawa, with other translations and some of Nakayasu’s original stuff mixed in—it's definitely a bit disorienting but ultimately I remember having such fun with it, as much fun as Nakayasu probably had making it. It’s a book that emphasizes co-creation and a spirit of play, and completely changed my attitude towards translation.
If you’re less interested in that kind of formal fuckery stuff though (I get it), can’t go wrong with the other books! Conflict Resolution for Holy Beings is the one I read most recently, and it’s great—Harjo also featured in Round 1! Franz Wright also featured, and God's Silence is the collection which "Night Walk" comes from. James Wright (father of Franz) is one of my favorite poets of all time, though his poetry isn’t perfect. Even so, I’m honestly surprised he’s not doing numbers on Tumblr—Mary Oliver was a big fan of his, even wrote her "Three Poems for James Wright" after his death.
I mentioned in another post that one of my favorite poets is Paul Celan, so I’ll also recommend him here. I read Memory Rose into Threshold Speech which is a translated collection of his earlier poems, but it’s quite long if you’re just getting to know him as a poet—fortunately, both Poetry Foundation and Poets.org have a ton of his poems in their collections. There’s also an article by Ilya Kaminsky about him titled “Of Strangeness That Wakes Us” (!!!!!) that’s a great place to start, and is honestly kind of my whole mission statement when I’m reading and writing poetry. Looking at the books I’ve recommended above, a lot of them share feelings of separateness or alienation—from others, from oneself, from one’s country, from language—that breed strange, private modes of expression. That tends to be what I’m drawn to personally, and that’s some of what Kaminsky talks about.
Sorry of the length of this—I hope it's useful as a jumping-off point! And if you or anyone ends up exploring any of these poets, let me know what you think! If folks wanna reply with recommendations themselves too that'd be great :)
#ask#not a poll#i originally was going to link to previews of the books directly on this post but for some reason I suddenly feel very paranoid about#copyright LMAO. ik this blog is already like copyright infringement central but I feel like I can at least make an argument for the polls#being fair use lol. in the way that i could not for the pdf previews I made. (i also have a full pdf of hardly war if anyone wants lol)#and i know it's not entirely rational bc this is tumblr and nobody looks on tumblr. but i'm not used to having this many followers lol so i#admittedly just getting anxious about silly things#but please please feel free to DM me! or send an ask off anon#discussion
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totally unheard of
#he is so????#very uwu im shy 👉🏼👈🏼 of him#sorry this man again#ruben amorim#manchester united#also the way he said the players are too anxious and afraid to play football like i imagine him trying to coax these wounded animals onto#the pitch by leaving a trail of treats and pspspspspsing them it must be hard work#but at least his family has finally moved in lmao no more suffering alone in the hotel no wonder he looks happier sdldsjkd#+
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AAAAAA big deterence from my usual postings
Flexing the multifandom brain cells and dropping these studies I did of stinky mask man:
Seemed seasonally appropriate
#michael myers#halloween#im actually very anxious about posting these#but#super proud of these#there were a LOT of unpresentable studies and whatnot i did before these#might share those too with my nOtes#been tryna get this dude's likeness all month#the ibis paint noise layers doing wONDERS for me istg#slashers#horror#im genuinely so obsessed with this dude LMAO#leon on the froggy chair art
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if i lead
The words are stolen from Feliciano’s lips in a terrific rush of joy, his mouth dropping and tears welling up in his eyes as he comes face to face with the brother he’s spent the past four years of his life searching for. There aren’t words in any language he knows that truly express how thankful he is to see him, knowing that all of his effort wasn’t in vain because Lovino is here and he’s alive--! Lovino, however, doesn’t seem to share the sentiment.
hi so remember how i said i was writing a spamano pirate au. here's the first chapter (_/_\)
#technically..... lmao#spamano#i dont wanna tag it as anything else#im always so anxious to cross post my writing lol#anyway i have to go and finish painting my bathroom now bye#i dont know how often im gonna be able to update it.... but know im Locked into writing it rn. i have about 41k in a rough draft phase rn#also its so very self indulgent so like.... im sorry lmao#my fics
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Not me actually, legitimately crying because of how sweet and kind Lord of the Lost was when I met them 😭😭
#I just burst into tears last night bc I just got so emotional over it#I was so like nervous/anxious but they were still so very nice#I asked Gared and Benji how they were doing and they said they were good#then Gared turned to me and asked me if I was okay and I said yeah 🥹 and he went ‘Good!’ with a smile on his face#Class saw I was doing this 🤟 then I noticed he like subconsciously was like ‘oh! let me do something too!’ so he went ✌️#Benji put and arm around me and so did Class 😭😭#then Chris leaned in closer all smiles#it just absolutely made my night and now I’m tearing up about it again LMAO#I felt…included#lord of the lost#when I asked Pi and Class to sign something they were like of course! Class even said ‘yes please’ like twice 🥹🥹#I mentioned to Chris it was my first time meeting them and he’s like ‘funny it’s my first time meeting you!’ I LOVE HIM 😭😭 he’s so funny#I’m just an emotional mess OOUUGGHH
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not me reading this definitely m/f romance novel but reading heavily into every interaction between the main character and her best friend…
#and like. don’t get me wrong I love a good m/f romance!!! I picked this one knowing it’s m/f and excited to read it!!!#all I’m saying is. look. she keeps going on and on about how beautiful and chic her bff is and how she knows her bff is a romantic at heart#and hoped her bff eventually finds a great love someday. while contrasting this w/ MC‘s ex lmao. girl I am Getting Vibes#girl you sound like me when I was closeted and I know I’m playing myself reading into it but it could woRK SO WELL#‘she (MC - recently dumped by her ex fiance) came here anxious about possibly running into her first ex - with her best friend in tow - to h#ave a holiday vacation and forget their jilted loves. but what they didn’t expect was for something real and hot to bloom in the arctic nigh#ts under the stars… and in their hearts. but will they admit it to each other? to themselves?’#<- see I have a tagline AT THE READYYY#anyways.#personal#enjoying the book a lot anyway but I have to laugh a bit like. girl (@ author) why write sapphic vibes in the m/f romance novel#the boulder is conflicted#tm tm tm#you can’t just describe your totally platonic best friend as looking ‘stunning’ by noticing the contrast of her outfit hair and lips and the#n describing her laugh poetically noting how her hair falls over her shoulders and saying that ‘’’others’’’ seem ‘transfixed’ by her. girl—#novel is called#christmas at frozen falls#btw#and like it’s very much m/f and marketed as such and as I said I love a good m/f but I am getting Undertones And Vibes and the supposed love#interest is not selling me on his potential so far so I am like. girl your gorgeous ride or die all in best friend is right there!!!#anyways lol
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I finished signalis and ngl I don't get it... YET. It's a bit too smart for me to get it alone ngl hehe
#dunkar rant#It's 2am and I was getting so anxious and scared dude 😭#That's the first horror game I actually play AND finish by myself#Kinda proud ngl#I'm not very good with horror game lmao
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the funniest thing that always happens to me is that every time we have a customer who doesn't speak polish and they ask me if i speak english i'm like "no, i don't think i do" only to realize a few minutes later that i do, in fact, speak english
#maybe it's because i'm just always super anxious about my skills#or maybe it's the fact that it barely happens so i don't have many opportunities to talk to people in english#so when somebody asks me about it i'm always like “um i do speak english but just a little”#and yet here i am running a fucking blog where i write a lot of shitposts every single day#all of them in english#it's so funny to me cause obviously no one knows this#and i had a customer today and he bought diamond earrings for his girlfriend and our entire conversation was in english#and he even complimented me at the end which was very nice#and my manager was like “oh you speak english? i only understood him when he said bye bye” LMAO#YES LOOKS LIKE I DO SPEAK ENGLISH AFTER ALL#jdsfjewhif i'm sorry i never really talk about this but today i feel like i want to#like every single time i have a conversation in english i'm so fucking proud of myself for being brave enough to speak another language#in front of a stranger#i know i make a lot of mistakes but still#i'm always so fucking proud of myself. for no reason. i just am#anyway the guy was really nice and i guess it's safe to say he made my day#which doesn't happen very often i usually hate my customers#so yeah#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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Reading this cool total drama fanfic: curl up like a pill-bug @honeyhoneypot (ahhhhh hope you don’t mind me tagging you? Also I hope you don’t mind that I drew you some fanart?)
The fic is very cute! Lots of wholesome friendship and a very cool slowburn of the ship alenoah (Alejandro x Noah) I adore the writing and the way the author using Greek mythology! :3
Read the latest chapter and I got very inspired by the one scene so I drew it!!!!!
Shading not my forte…but I think it pretty decent!! I’m still a bit embarrassed about my lack of skills, but I think I’m getting better? (Gotta kill the cringe that’s inside my head)
I think it would pretty fun to make more fanart for fanfic I really enjoy. ^w^
#my thoughts#my art#fanfic rec#total drama#alenoah#td noah#td alejandro#fandom#comic#technically??#gift art#idk what to tag this as#cringe culture is dead#lowkey very anxious…lmao
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Before I consumed 7 pints and spent the next day feeling very sorry for myself
#me#selfie#i tried a cute new lil hair style and i kinda love it#felt nice to go out in an outift that like a year ago id have been very anxious is but that night i felt hot as#it was kinda wasted but we move#because look at me lmao
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