it’s so weird knowing that im physically attractive enough for people to actually want to have sex with me? idk ive just never felt comfortable at all in my own body but she made me needy and i was completely fine being (mostly) naked with her and she kept telling me how good i looked and. it’s strange because i don’t think im very hot like objectively but idk.
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The most regulus black thing about me is that I think I'm unlovable
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Had a SHIT day so we watching Jaws for the 7th time this year and crying on the couch while eating the most spicy curry i have ever had in my life. Life sucks sometimes but it is what it is.
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I hate having a bad memory in the way I do, it makes me feel like I’m barely even human…
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newest pet peeve horror trope is the "mind virus/thing spreads by thinking about it/suddenly you, the audience, are complicit in the horror" thing. it can be an interesting commentary about themes of obsession and virality but it feels like im being punished for being invested in the story? sorry, was i NOT supposed to be curious enough to engage further? my fucking bad!
this is mostly a vent, so im sure this is an incredibly shallow take and people will be quick to disagree. but god.
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random rant about adolescence
Not sure what this is but if anyone knows how make the idea of not being a child anymore less scary pls do share
Being 16 is fucking weird because on one hand you're suddenly being an adult and making half of your own meals and being expected to manage your own time but on the other hand I've never felt more like a child in all my life.
I toured a college for the first time last week, I'm able to drive on freeways, I can cook some things without a recipe.
But i still can't watch scary movies. I can't walk to my mailbox alone at night, I still sleep with a nightlight.
I feel like im expected to act older now and no one is telling me how to do it, just that I have to do it.
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Shout out to my intrusive thoughts for being godawful. Really nice to have those.
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Come get your membership card if they made you terrified for life of the idea of being mediocre as a "gifted kid", so you applied a lifelong nerf on yourself as safety.
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st00pid
not to reveal a little ugly part of myself but sometimes i struggle with the fact that i’m such an introvert
👉 within the context of this community
don’t want to be a popular person or anything but sometimes i get kinda,, lonely? in a sense? and i want to tell people more about my silly shenanigans! but i feel like my ships are not,, valid in the eyes of others,,,, if that makes sense?
i think a lot of small blogs feel a bit left out - i know that’s a feeling a lot of folks are familiar with,,, but i wish i was better at forming bonds and connecting with selfshippers with similar interests
i want to do more to support others. these past few months i’ve tried to be a lot more vocal about others’ ships instead of just being a silent supporter. but i want to do more! gotta keep up a positive feedback loop. everyone deserves to feel happy. and as of late i have been LIVING for the content my fellow one pi/ece selfship mutuals have been putting out!
in the meantime tho i just gotta do what makes me happy in regards to my own fictional headworld! I guess sharing more ship lore/info/facts is a good way to start? i have not… been able to draw.
tldr- i get insecure sometimes and i hope ppl like me and my silly fake scenarios with my silly fake spouses. that’s it. that’s the gist of the post.
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i know barely anypony sez dis but still, if i come across az mean, or if i say somfin right off da bat datz hostile [in a way datz nawt just “bitez u” or “punchez u”] then im sorry, im bad @ talkin 2 otherz & generally think otherz r tryna get somfin outta me or harm me
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I wanna cry, scream, hurt myself, and die so bad, but I just don't have energy for anything anymore...
I feel so damn exhausted
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