#vent post. again. so sorry

[veggiefritterz]

bunch of incoherent rambling idfk if people read these anymore.

i have like 30 prozac in my desk drawer rn and the drawer next to it has 28 lexapro, ive also got a whole bottle of iron + vitamin c tablets cause i dont fucking eat enough and i dont think theyd do mich seperately but do ya think if i blended them and drank it with monster cause they all taste shit do ya think that might finally kill me??? cause the world seems pretty intent upon keeping me here i have a scar from an accident like 2 millimetres from my big wrist vein which is pretty fucking sad cause honestly when that accident happened i would have been fine with bleeding out on the sand in front of a few holiday having people. however fuck the world because they also gave me tits n whatever. i guess im lucky or whatever because i live in a pretty good place in a house only missing a few wearherboards with minimal asbestos and only one vine coming through the bathroom wall but thats aesthetic so i dont mind it. i kinda miss the shithole of a well shitter in the backyard that they torw down because outhouses arent in fashion anymore i wish theydve plumbed it up proper instead. goddamm why am i talking about outhouses. no see i could slit my wrists right the fuck now if i wanted to but if it doesnt work its too hot to wear a jumper and my dad will see and call the police crisis line. again. do you know how fucking much i hate the police like bitches get out of my fucking house all i did was throw a can of soup. at a wall not even at my dad so calm down. i guess the police are alright cause they told my dad its not worth turning the wifi off on me one time but beyond that oh my fucking god im going to kill myself violently. you gotta know how shit it isaking a police report they have cameras on you man. i dressed up nice for it. it took three visits to manage to say words at them actually also fucking hell i hate ali williams specifically im not afraid to namedrop my old school therapist and id drop her adress too if i knew it i kicked the shit out of her once and she cried but while that was wrong of me she deserved it because she broke the fucking law and let someone right near me who wasnt even allowed in the same building as me. on fuckin purpose. so naturally i kicked her. fight or flight type thing it was not a conscious decision. but moving on from that before i burst a vessel in my fucking eyeball. i think i will kill myself one of these days when everyone least expects it. im gonna just fuckinf cry at this point good fucking night yall im scared to shut my eyes because i know what ill see!!!

[sunlit-mess]

trying not to get attached

[zoneofsmites]

Still laughing about how they didn't want to "invalidate" anyone's worldstate. But that is exactly what they did.

Morrigan is the most obvious, I really cannot believe that a Morrigan who was a mother would have so willingly taken into her something like Mythal if she was a mother - of at this point - a 10 year old Kieran. Maybe she would, but it would be for different reasons.

Isabela is the most annoying to me. She's talking about how "Kirkwall taught her about family." as if she couldn't have been given up by Hawke to the Arishok. As if she couldn't have ran away from Kirkwall and never looked back. If I had met an Isabela from a world state like that, she would never have said that.

Harding talking about the Inquisition also feels like it misses some... extra flavour here and there based on actual choices. Like my Inquisitor didn't do well with Blackwall, and he didn't survive to see the end of the game. But Lace speaks about him fondly and in such a way that I don't think she should if the Inquisitor never 'redeemed' him.

Zevran is never mentioned by name, but what if a warden outright killed the assassin hunting them. Or he turned on them in Denerim and died later? Then explain to me that entire banter Lucanis has with Harding about why House Arainai messed up so bad they went trough several Talons about it. And now the Crows don't take contracts in Ferelden anymore.

At that point the reason that was given to us for the lack of worldbuild choices to prevent 'invalidating everyone's worldstate' feels null and void. Because you have. You have invalidated many worldstates already by bringing back these character or have people talk around them in such a way that doesn't make sense.

[hai-nae]

currently experiencing massive amounts of imposter syndrome. tryin to purge it with relaxing bg warm ups part 1 of my mw 'improvise' series ft price n a screw driver. and a mw comic for my au im ditchin since i missed the vibe i was aimin for

aaand a very pretty man. that was gonna be my roach in my au, but again, way too pretty for my lil bug 😂

[youthsbandana]

Having ADHD is just like:

I'm sorry.

I know it's inconvenient.

I'm sorry.

I know it's annoying.

I'm sorry.

I know it's selfish.

I'm sorry...

I know I shouldn't say sorry because an apology without change is manipulation.

I'm sorry.

I know I can't change my behavior; I've tried.

I'm sorry

[write-it-motherfuckers]

Well, that was a much bigger shitstorm than I had been expecting.

First of all, kid's ok, they just kept him over night because he's so young and concussions are a bit more of a risk, especially given his extensive medical history. Thankfully though, he seems to be on the mend, and he should be home by the time you Darlings are seeing this post.

As for why you're seeing this post, originally I was just meant to be playing emergency babysitter until the dad finished work and got home, but unfortunately he's just as big of a piece of shit as he usually is (Why they're still together and actively having more kids I have no idea) and decided that since someone was already with the kids, then instead of rushing home like he was asked to by his wife, he was going to make the best of it and go out drinking with his friends.

Both his wife and his elderly mother in law tried to contact him, but after the third set of calls, he turned off his phone. Not once did he ask who was with his kids, or how his injured son was, all he cared about was going out and drinking. (I sincerely hope she leaves his arse soon. Holy shit)

The mum did apologise to me repeatedly, but since their only living family is her elderly mother who is by no means capable of looking after five kids under the age of seven, she really didn't have a choice but to rely on me until her or her (shitty) husband could return home. And for obvious reasons, she couldn't exactly leave a four year old in the hospital by himself.

In the end, the "dad" didn't get home until about nine am this morning, stinking of grog, and I don't feel comfortable leaving them with him. I did quickly head back and grab a charger for my phone so that I could type this up, but since the youngest ones will be waking from their after feed nap soon, and the mum is still a way's off from getting back, I'm probably not going to have time to sort through my reblogs properly.

On a small positive note though, it does look like all my stuff is back now, so I should be able to go back to posting older reblogs tomorrow. For now, I'm just going to focus on the kids and then go back and crash into my own bed.

Thank you for your understanding and patience, Darling ones. Please remember to take care of yourselves 🖤

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the artblock be hitteth Harder than normal, for tis not normal artblock. woe. Wally be upon ye

[evilkitten3]

some reminders that i think this site could use:

-it is still not ok to be racist

-it is still not ok to be antisemitic

-it is still not ok to be islamophobic

-it is still not ok to be misogynistic

-it is still not ok to be classist

-it is still not ok to be xenophobic

-it is still not ok to be intersexist

-it is still not ok to be ageist

-it is still not ok to be ableist

-it is still not ok to be fatphobic

-it is still not ok to be -phobic of anything under the lgbtq+ umbrella

-not even if you really dislike someone

-not even if you really dislike their spouse

-bigotry is not bad because it's targeting the wrong people, it's bad no matter who it's targeting

-hating someone for something outside their control is still bad

-sweeping generalizations of large groups of people will inevitably include smaller marginalized groups within that larger group and if you forget about this they will accuse you of bigotry towards them and you will deserve it

-the above does not separate those marginalized peoples fully from the larger group, nor does it make bigotry towards them acceptable

and also

-someone having a different opinion from you does not make them automatically a bot or a psyop. it makes them a person who has a different opinion than you

-fallacies, propaganda techniques, and means of spreading mis/disinformation are not just things to watch out for from those you view as opposition, but also things to keep an eye out for concerning your perceived allies and yourself

-sometimes people just don't know things or know incorrect things. this is not a statement of their moral inferiority. not everyone is actively out to do harm, some people just have questions or are wrong about things

ok? ok

[kerizaret]

In case you haven't noticed May has sucked for me so far, anyway *projects onto blorbo*

[reegis]

Are you ok? My favourite mechs artist has been quiet recently

im am SO so sorry i havent been able to post in so long aaa.. at the moment i am very much not okay, unfortunately a lot of things have gone poorly very quickly but hopefully its only a temporary set back!!

tldr i finally managed to get a full time job a month & a half after moving and my car broke down for the last time almost immediately upon hiring so i now have to walk ~2hrs to and from an 8 hour shift every day + more personal stuff,, the pain & stress is Not fun for my back problems or mental health :,^)

hoping to get the bike my mom leant me repaired as soon as i have my first paycheck or 2, so fingers crossed that will make a huge difference

i have still been slowly working on comms in whatever free time i get but its slow going 😔 ty everybody for your patience & sorry again for not being online!

[rauhallinen-hauki]

sujeto: Shephard

estado: detenido

evaluación adicional pendiente

dicen que estar en estasis es como un sueño largo, durmiendo en el vacío. ¿pero qué pasa si el pastor no sabe contar sus ovejas?

[mushroominaforest]

Guys I need advice help 😭

I need to confront someone and set clear boundaries, but I am also I giant pushover and this person knows it lol. They’re my friend so I don’t want to just stop talking to them, but they’ve been making me uncomfortable and don’t really listen to me. The first time I tried to tell them to stop I wasn’t firm about it at all and they just brushed it off and didn’t change their behaviour. I’m scared of ruining our friendship by making things awkward, and I’m worried my other friends in that friend group will think I’m being dramatic and not want to hang out with me anymore. How do I stand up for myself without people thinking I’m annoying???

[madame-mongoose]

I wish mental health services were more easily accessible and certain mental illnesses weren't still demonized in the field

[angelpuns]

Not a vent, just thinking thoughts. For the past year-ish, I've been less..mobile? And by that I mean I've found it harder to stand for long periods of time/walk long distances. But I'm genuinely not sure if its because I am not as regularly mobile as I was previously ( I don't walk everywhere like I did in college/while I lived in the city ) or because BEING as mobile as I was before( especially in hs and college) and then suddenly no longer needing to do so to survive has just made my body decide ' okay we no longer need to push ourselves like this so we're gonna take all that accumulated badness and breakdown'.

And I'd love to say I've been keeping track of/documenting when its worse to see if its a once-in-a-while type thing or a steady decline but I am terrible at that because typically I'll only notice it once its really bad and I also will have okay days where I'm able to walk/stand more and then I'm like ' oh its the first reason' or ' oh it was all in my head actually ' SOOO yeah. And I haven't had a time where I'm like completely unable to walk or stand so my bets are on just not doing it enough. Part of my knees being fucked is cause of marching band though, that shit will wreck your knees :/

Anyway just thoughts I was thinking because my knee and hip are fucked after this weekend ;-; I drove the 8 hour round trip in the same position p much the whole time and was super tense which isn't super great and then I also went up and down 2 flights of stairs like 3-4 times every hour for 5-6ish hours and also slept on a camping cot so yeah I don't think any of that helped lmao.

Anyway I'll probably be fine after a couple of days, my hip is already a lot better its just my knee that's annoying, and I think it'll get better if I walk it off??? I wasn't paying close enough attention to figure out if the walking or sitting was making it better today so I guess I'll find out tomorrow :)

Wow this is a big post, sorry if you read thus far for some reason. I really just wanted to write this down for later, because its just about the only documentation I'll have about the knee thing later lmao

[pekoeboo]

ugh. some thoughts.

really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.

hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.

I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.

I'm just . tired, I guess.

[lavenoon]

Sometimes the thoughts get too loud, and catharsis doesn't come until you feel safe