#vent post ayyyy

[steampunk-ghostxx]

Honestly kinda ready for the holidays to be over.

Ever since my mom died, I've tried my best to get into the holiday spirit, both for myself and to celebrate it for my mom since Christmas was her favorite holiday. The first Christmas without her was incredibly hard and I couldn't do it, but I managed to do okay with holiday spirit in the years after, even if I was also sad too.

But this year? I can't do it, I've been trying so fucking hard to be positive and feel the holiday cheer or whatever but I just can't this year. I want Christmas to be done already, and that's depressing.

[galaxicalswriting]

Delusional

(Ayyyy it’s vent poem posting time)

I might be delusional but at least I acknowledge it

You’d rather pretend the world’s just as you saw it

Horses don’t fly and neither do pigs

Your partner will whisk you away and put you in the brig

Wasting away with home so far

Rotting in a cellar trying to count the stars

You can’t make a wish when the sky’s so dark

Here the light of Venus will never reach your heart

In your moonlit reflection you think you see something more

Something mystical or magical for you to hope for

A version of you the living and dead adore

But the moon is new, it’s not here for you, you’re crying and staring at the prison floor

For dungeons and dragons and playing pretend

Cry me a river when your will at last bends

You breathed out creation and brought a world’s end

Can’t you see that you just killed all your friends?

The moon is full

A familiar pull

Takes me to where I first saw you in the pools

You drowned here, too

But you never knew

Your friends never had the heart to tell you

Hahaha.

Sad, isn’t it?

[virgendelosmataderos]

is my anxiety going to kill me one day? most likely than you think. and thatn i think. and than ev e r ymone thInk s.

[faeriefully]

here’s the thing...

I used to be a writer. 

There was one point in my life I could confidently use that title for myself. When I was fourteen I began a fanfiction story about my favorite series. I made up characters. I twisted plotlines. I filled pages upon pages of outlines and character backstories. Words overflowed in my brain until not writing made me want to explode. 

Over the next two years, I wrote 100k of fanfiction and a 50k draft of a novel... then I stopped. 

I used to be a reader. 

It started with the books my mother would read to me as a child. When I was thirteen, my obsession had truly taken root. By the time I was fifteen, I was reading two books a week. For years, I read every book I could get my hands on... then I stopped. 

The decline in reading happened gradually. Changes to my daily life altered my reading time. Adjusting was difficult. I’ve never been the best at time management. A wave of mild depression didn’t particularly help me either. The number of books I buy hasn’t decreased. The enjoyment hasn’t left either... but how many have I actually read? 

My fall from writing has happened slowly as well... Five years after starting the 100k fanfiction, I posted the last 17k. In that time, I also wrote a second draft of The Novel- which is nothing like the first- and multiple small ficlets for other fandoms which have never been posted anywhere. And after that?... In the past eight months?... Ten months?... Have I really written anything in the past year? 

At what point did words stop circulating in my head? Why have I allowed the ideas in my notebooks to simply gather dust for over a year? 

Words feel stale. My style is non-existent. After so long, I don’t even know what I wanted to happen in my own untouched novel. Tidbits of advice float around my brain, but I can’t bring myself to look at any of my WIP.

Busy. Busy. Everyone says you have to make time for writing if you love it. I remember loving it. I remember losing myself in the words. I remember the bliss of talking to the people in my head. 

Then I stopped. 

Why did I stop?

Of course, I have answers. Excuses-- work. school. college. stress. 

But other people have those too. I’m not anything special. “Don’t compare.” Yeah, sure, but there’s really nothing stopping me besides learning to deal with stress and time. Why haven’t I written? Why haven’t I tried harder? 

What am I now? 

Am I a writer? I wrote in the past. I still love writing. But I feel as if my words have left me- or maybe they’re hibernating. Or perhaps I’m the one who has abandoned my words. 

I don’t know what I want to happen in my novel. I have so many unread books on my shelf. 

I used to be a writer. 

What am I now? 

[cr0wbonezz-wr1ting-inc]

A frustrating day

Pairing: Dream, GeorgenotFound, Sapnap, BadBoyHalo x Reader (Seperate)

Summary: The Dream Team comfort you after a frustrating day.

Type: Headcanon

Author’s note: ayyyy first post! idk but i just felt like writing something lol - enjoy!

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Dream:

- Dream is a little oblivious at first

- He’d greet you at your front porch at the beginning of the day

- You agreed to meet him for a date the day before

- You shoot him a quick “Hello”, you have enough on your mind

- He’d feel insulted

- “Why are you ignoring meeee?? (っ °Д °;)っ”

- After a couple seconds he remembers he’s supposed to walk with you

- When he realizes you’re mad, he asks you about it

- Almost the entire time you two walk together you’re ranting to him

- When you’re done talking he laughs

- You hit him on the arm

- “Sorry doll, you’re just too cute to be mad.”

- He picks you up and hugs you as you pout (even if you’re very tall, he loves picking you up <3)

- He gives you a peck on the lips and sets you back on the floor

- He grabs your hand and you two keep walking

- “You got it out of your system, or do you need another kiss?” he asked smugly

- You chuckle at his remark, your anger slowly sinking away

GeorgenotFound:

- He decided to go pay you a visit after his stream

- He was tired and just needed to see you

- He walks into the room and he sees you sitting on the couch with a pout and furrowed eyebrows

- “What’s wrong?”

- As you’re venting he grabs your hand and squeezes it

- “Well, they sure sound like a prick”

- He pulls you next to him and places one of hands on your lower back and the other on your thigh

- He snuggles his head in the crook of your neck

- “Stop worrying about someone like that, it’s a waste of time. Spend some more time on me instead” he murmurs close to your ear

- The rest of the evening is just you two talking and just enjoying each other’s company

Sapnap:

- He’ll just walk into your house after playing because he missed  you :(((

- Normally you’re downstairs but you were nowhere to be found

- He decided to look in your room and finds you sitting on your bed, phone in hand

- You scoff at the sight of him

- He’s very confused and asks you what’s wrong

- You vent to him with the most anger in your voice as you could possibly muster while he listens quietly

- When you’re done rambling about your day he stands up and wraps his arms around you

- He smiles

- “You look hot when you’re angry”

- you jab him in the side he saw it coming

- After that he offers to buy you some take out, to wich you say yes :)

BadBoyHalo:

- You went to Bad’s place after a day of dealing with a bunch of your idiotic coworkers

- When he saw you he immediately asked what’s bothering you

- You rant about what happened at work while you sit down on his bed together

- He holds your hand while you talk, staring at you with an unreadable expression

- He’d feel really bad for you

- “aww, muffin!” he gives you a long and warm hug

- After a while, Lucy decided you two aren’t giving her enough attention and barks at you

- “Come on, Rat. On the bed!” the white dog jumps on the bed and sit on your lap

- You smile soflty as the dog starts to fall asleep on you

- You look up at Bad and see that he has the most dopey smile you’ve ever seen

- “My two favorite beings; Rat and ___!” He starts to chuckle as he says your name

- His laugh is very contagious and you laugh as well

m.list

[kingasly]

hi anna... i just want to vent for a bit bcause i hate what this fandom has turned into and how f1blr ruined my whole f1 experience this year and i see a lot of people talk about it

Ayyyy i get where you're coming from and i'm sorry that is your experience rn, but i hope it can CHANGE.

Always remember that sometimes it's fully alright to not acknowledge people's opinions. It's ok ti look at a post and say "fucking idiot" and never think about it again. And engage in memes 😂😂😂

[ellovett]

list of people that made this year pretty neat :)

Hi all

Ok so 2020's almost ending (it just ended i started writing this post like....5 days ago??) and i just wanted to do this thing where i have a message towards everyone who supported me/who i think are just very cool and very epic, i only really got into the twst fandom just at the beginning of the year and im just gonna get straight to the point now messages are under the cut :)

@permanentlyexhaustedowl - AYAAAA ;;;;; bro you're literally one of my first long time friends here in the twst community and i just want to thank you for everything, our convos in either public servers or in pms, your love and support for my content,,or whenever i vent to you,,,,,just- your love and support man i appreciate it so much and i cannot thank you enough, you're just so sweet and caring and supportive and friendly just aghhhhhh ;;;;; even your reblogs make me smile uncontrollably and i explode, also all the brainrots i have about my interests ;;; thanks for listening to all of them,,even tho you really didnt have to ;;;;;; I love how we make our twst ocs interact and the little brainrots we have with them ;;; You've helped me so so so much and in so many ways, I am beyond glad that we're bestfriends, you're one of the nicest most caring people ive ever met and i love you so so so much, beyond belief ;; 💕 pls never stop being you?????? You quacking amazing person??????? 😎����💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕

@shoujoqueensstuff - AYYYY SHOUJOOOO!!! 😎🤙🤙 hhhh you're also one of the first people ive ever had a long time friendship with here in the twst community, and seriously bitch i love you so much ;;; so so much..i cant go a day without talking to you about literally anything and just vibing, the support and love you've given me over these months is insane i cannot thank you enough for that, all of our rps, convos or just pure brainrot have been so much fun, and i fucking love it that we built our own little world outside of canon,,all the aus we built with our ocs???? I love them. I love them all to death, including your amazing ocs, and even tho we live on literally opposite sides of the world you're always there for me whenever i vent or when im feeling extremely down or insecure ;; ,,im just so so so happy and glad that i met you and that we're bestfriends, i care about you so so so so so much- hhhh i cant put it into words my brain is dying i just- i LOVE YOU BIITCH, I AINT NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU, BITCH.😎💖💕💖🤙🤙💕💕💖💕 TAKE MY LOVE BITCH 💕💕💕💕💕 thank you so much for sticking around ;; i love you and support you in everything you do so much I could never ever thank you enough for the friendship you've given me..

I can literally go forever on how much i love and appreciate the both of you, i can just scream into the void for all eternity,,but i cant put it into words anymore. You both made my year so great and so epic ;;; i love you guys so much

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Now the chaddams 😌

@thetwstwildcard - hi ma :D you're just so cool and so epic lizz ;;; i cant- all of our conversations and brainrots have been super fun and i enjoy your company very much;;; you are just so nice and friendly,, and your ocs (especially staff ocs) are god tier amazing, i will love the nrc mom squad to death. I am honored to be ur child and i love you and father claude (and my four (?) other dads you married) very much 💕💕💕

@alpyssketch - bringer of father claude,,,,i owe you my life alpy,,,,,,but no seriously you're also a very epic person and you're honestly so nice and sweet!!! You never fail to make me feel welcome in any conversation and you're just so damn friendly!!! We may not talk that often but I very much enjoy your company ;;; ily!!! 💖💖💖

@multi-ankin - another very cool and epic person!!!! you're very fun to talk to and you're also pretty funny in the vc fjfjfj, your ocs are all so amazing too! (djdjjd although my staff oc bias makes me go for kas) we should totally talk and make our ocs interact more in the future tho!!!!!! 💖💖

@just-patchy - pATCHYYY!!!! :D hi!!!! you're also a very cool person!! our interactions have been so much fun and i hope we can have more in the future ;;; the ideas you have for your ocs and how you put them into writing is so good!!! like really good!!! And your art has been greatly improving too!!! Never ever think that i dont see you as a friend because i do!! 😤😤💖💖 i care about you bro!! Never forget that!!

@bakujho - :D hi jho!! you're a lot of fun! And I THINK YOU ARE SO DAMN COOL AND BADASS it's unbelievable,,i look up to you jho i wish i could be almost as cool as you when i grow up ;;; the things you've done for this fandom are also very admirable! like the whole gravedigging (jellyfish) situation! But we're not gonna talk about it now- hhhhh you're just so epic jho ;;; seriously 💗💗

@Kurui - hhhhh you're probably not gonna see this ;;; and i cant find your tumblr (if any of the other chaddams could possibly show this to her thatd be so great ;;;) but nonetheless i still think you're just so fun and cursed ;;; and you give so many amazing ideas!!! Your ocs are all also so cool too! Your art is just so detailed you clearly put a lot of thought into them i just admire that sm ;; (also your edits are extremely cursed and epic i love them dearly-)

@twst-the-royals - JULIE :))) HELLO,,,you were actually the first ever person i spoke/interacted with in the fandom! And you were just so nice and friendly and patient with me ;;; im glad that i got to talk to you,,and we dont really talk that much now but pls pls PLEASE know that i care about you so much and that i support you in everything you do ;;; 💖💖💗💖 ill do my best to make you proud!!

@girl-in-the-tower - hey Az!!! ;;;; you're so epic and cool,,honestly i admire you so much, the lore/writing you have for your ocs/fanschools are just so well thought out and so well written ;;; i hope to become a better writer like you in the future, but for now ill just take notes and learn from you ;; you're super encouraging and supportive too!!! I know we dont talk much but i could never thank you enough for all those little yet meaningful moments ;;; 💖💖

@rikanoctrix and @mirrored-pomefiore - hi!!! i know we arent that close but just know that you two are huge inspirations for me when it comes to art, the both of you draw your styles so incredibly well and i admire that so so so much ;;; 💖

@ocean-water-tea - FATHER TEAAAAA QAQ okay so first of all,,,,how can you draw so well using ibispaint, i ask for tips, specifically on how to draw hair and tits 🤲 but seriously though you are so fun to talk to!!! So cursed!!! So ☊⊑⏃⍜⏁⟟��!!! You encourage me to my true cryptid self (despite aya's protests 👀) and i thank you kindly,,,you are also very funny 😌 a funny little clown simp, and you're super friendly and cheerful too! I almost never feel nervous when reaching out to you ;;; I hope we can have more wacky adventures in the future 💖💖

@zonamemoryverse - HEYYY ZONAAA!!! you're a fairly new person and you've already come so far ;;; you're a very chaotic person to talk to and i enjoy all of our conversations!!! Also our interactions with our ocs were super fun too, and i love hearing any shred of content i can get from ur epic ocs,,,dont stop being epic!!! 💖💖

@namelessfish - Hi fish!!! :DD you've been a very supportive friend to me over these past few months,,and im happy i have someone i can relate my not-so-great experiences with ;;; please know that i care about you dearly and that ily ;; 💖💖💖💖

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@wondersbeyondcompare - JFFJJF BRO DONT THINK I DONT SEE YOU WHENEVER YOU REBLOG MY CRINGY ASS POSTS 👁👁 I SEE THEM AND I CHERISH THEM ALL I REREAD THEM ON SAD DAYS. All the little tags and comments you put on them always make me smile so hard ;;; im just very happy to know that you like whatever the hell im doing and it pushes me to do more!! You're incredibly sweet, dont worry!!! Ill be sure to make you proud!!!! 😭💖💖💖

@circuscarnage - Anna!!!! We dont talk that often but whenever we do it's always so much fun ;;; you're so sweet and i appreciate you so much ;; all the stuff you drew for my ocs are all so incredibly cute and i really have to give back- jUST YOU WAIT ANNA. IM GONNA MAKE FANART OF YOUR LOVELY OCS AND YOU CANT STOP ME- 💖💖💖💖

@twistedapple - hi crow!! :DD again we dont really talk that much but i support you greatly in everything you do!!! You're another epic and cool writer ;;; your writings for your ocs are just sooooo well written and are just so good!! You're also super good at art too!! And i hope to see more from you in the future!!! ;;; 💖💖💖💖

@not-twst-enough - Ellie!!!! ;;; bro you've been supporting me from the very start, from lillet's old ass bio to now, and i very much appreciate it!!!! You're also super friendly in the twst server too ;;; and all the content you have for your ocs is just so exciting! Good luck with the fandorm and all future stuff ;;; ily!!!! 💖💖💖

@fumikomiyasaki - FUMI. DONT THINK I DIDNT FORGET YOU DKDKDK,,,Another cool and amazing person!!! All our brainrots and conversations have been really fun ;;;; thank u for that,, You are very fun person to interact ocs with tho!!! Especially with ships!! MadScientist² will forever hold a place in my heart.,,,💖💖💖

@oiseaunoir11 - hey Al!! :) you were one of the many people i admired and looked up to when i first joined the fandom, your art is something im deeply inspired by and your shitposts at like...4 am in the morning always give me the big funny,,one thing i really admire about ur art tho is how you'd draw backgrounds :0 you've gotten so good at them!! And your poses look super natural and effortless, i hope to be almost of a better artist like you 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️ also i cant wait to see ur animatics 👀 they look dope- hope we can talk or maybe even interact ocs more! 💖💖

@leonasbitties - luuuu :))) hiiii,,,we dont usually talk on servers that often but that doesnt mean that i dont consider you as a friend! You have a lot of super cool ideas for ocs and your art is just getting better and better and better with each piece!!!! i look forward to seeing more from you ;;; 💖💖💖

@peteza-mozzarella - PETEEE :DDD another very cool and friendly person, you're literally the sweetest person ive ever talked to and i love our little chats!!! Hhhh you're just super nice and your ocs are super cute,,please never stop being you you epic bean ;;;; 💖💖💖💖

@the27th - Hi Andhra!!!!! You've been quite the long time mutual,,and your reblogs always make my day ;;; you're just so sweet and kind and i always feel at ease when talking to you, the hunger games sessions you host are always super fun even though im often asleep to even participate 😂 thank you sm for the love and support ;;; ill be sure to give them all back to you 💖💖 starting now 💗💗💗💗💗

@mamushroomoracorn - MAMUSH :DD we've only really started talking recently but you're just so nice and friendly ;;;; all of our talks have been so wholesome and great and im so happy about that, and your art is really really really good!! Ur art style is just so unique and so cool!!! ;;;; and dw mamush,, ill show the froggies like i promised soon 😔💖💖💖

@rookvonhunt - HEYYYY 👉😎👉 hi hello i would die for your ocs. If theyd ask me to perish then i will 200%,,ur so epic and cool and all of your ocs are just god-tier, i cant wait for what else you have to offer!!!! 💖💖

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@lawlessofdusk - lawless ;;;; aaaaa honestly you're just so kind and sweet, i couldnt thank you enough for all the love and support you've given me!!! And i desperately need more content of ur ocs bc they're all so cool and interesting 😤😤😤💖💖💖 i hope to talk to you more soon!!!!

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Fkfjfjfj i think that's all!! Id like to thank you all for sticking around with me with my first year in the fandom ;;; you guys make all the bullshit and drama here worth it 💖💖💖

If i forgot to include you in here then PLEASE DM ME I AM SO SORRY-!!!! I dont want to leave anyone behind!!! So please feel free to confront me about it ;;; happy new year everyone!!!!

[smells-like-mettaton]

12 and 19 for Mortal Coil Shuffle and 15, please c:

ayyyy thanks!! I'm always ecstatic to talk about mortal coil shuffle lol

12: Why did you choose to write [insert fic]? How long have you been working on it?

It started when I saw this art and absolutely loved it. The humor potential of skelebros body swap is just too good. Independently I was also wanted to do a take on saving Asriel and Chara, and somewhere along the way I decided that smushing them both together was a good idea, and it essentially because my main post-pacifist fic. Conveniently I had notes about this fic in my personal discord so I can say I started brainstorming it on January 17th of this year (2021)

Since I have my old notes pulled up anyway, I'll give you a bonus look at what some of the early planning looked like:

Undertale skelebros body swap: precanon or post canon?? [2:34 PM]Precanon: can have sans interact with Flowey. Everyone at grillbys thinking sans is pulling a prank. Papyrus trying to get sans to open up so they can get help. Probably happens because sans drank himself into oblivion or smth [2:37 PM]Post canon: get to play with Frisk's reactions. Sans is probably more willing to get help from alphys. Papyrus has a job and sans has to actually DO it because he won't let his brother get fired. Papyrus realizes just how not lazy sans is when he has to be home for a day. Swap still happens thanks to a poorly timed shortcut, probably shortcutting them out of the way of a car or smth. Undyne wants to fight sans in pap's body now that she can (no one really fought him since he has 1hp before) [2:38 PM]Alphys wants to study them since it might give her a way to transport flowey's consciousness into a different body [2:40 PM]Ok post canon it is [2:41 PM]Do we wanna have genocide bits like sans's scar?? I kind of don't want to deal with that much angst even if it would be cool. I want frisk to have never done genocide ;;

as you can see most of this is outdated now! I have never been able to stick to an outline Ever lol

19: 15 words to describe the aesthetic of [insert fic].

bodyswapping shenaniganary with a side of Feelings (yes i know this isn't 15 words shhhh)

15: Which fic that you’ve written relates to you and your personal life the most?

Settlers of Catan is pulled heavily from my family's game nights. pack the ribcage, we're not coming home was a lot of me vicariously venting about my dad before I moved out and the emotions hit closer to home than any of my other fics. (I am doing much better now don't worry ^^;)

Thanks for the asks!!

[lcd-101]

OH NO

MY FRIEND FOUND MY TUMBLR OH

NO

[chick-fil-a-addict]

Ayyyy my first ever post woo!! I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with this tumblr just yet but I'm sure something at least simi decent will come out of it...... hopefully.. well anyways, I'm thinking of maybe low key doing some fan fics or somethin'. I will definitely be posting around writings I make, vents, ect!

[m0rbs-writes]

Things Left Unsaid (part 1)

ayyyy i think this is the first serious fic i’ve ever written lmao 

it’s inspired by this post by @mistletoe-dart, so jus take a look at the post if you wanna understand the fic! it’s centered around peter and loki lol

part 2 is probably gonna be written tomorrow so keep an eye out!!! :D

Peter’s POV ...

Peter’s first feeling when he met Loki was uncertainty.

He knew that Loki had led the attack on New York and that a lot of people had died, but he was pretty young when it happened and the others seemed to trust him (to some extent). So he decided to ignore it.

I mean, Loki didn’t seem so bad. He helped them a lot on missions and seemed to always know what he was doing. Peter always stopped in his tracks when he saw Loki doing magic just so he could catch a glimpse of what it looked like, but Mr. Stark always snapped him out of it before he could get hurt and told him to stop getting so distracted.

Peter had a habit of spending his time looking random things up about the Avengers--just looking at news reels of the fights they’d been in to see them in action, mostly. He was too nervous to actually ask them about themselves. They were just so important and he doubted they’d want a 15-year-old kid pestering them with questions.

One day he was sitting on the couch at home (he’d just gotten back from patrol and decided to kill some time before the pizza May had ordered got there) and thought it might be interesting to look up some stuff about Loki this time.

... he regretted it almost immediately. 

He didn’t even want the pizza when it finally got there; seeing all the damage Loki had caused and reading articles about how many people he’d killed had kind of affected his appetite. 

Loki was a villain. He’d killed so many people. Why did the others trust him?? Why did Peter trust him??? More importantly, why hadn’t Loki even told him about any of this? Was he trying to hide it because he knew Peter would react so negatively? Was all of this just a lie? Did Loki actually enjoy Peter’s company or was it all just part of a stupid plan to gain control again??

... He didn’t know.

He didn’t want to know either.

...

Loki’s POV

...

When Peter stopped talking to him, Loki was confused and concerned. Much more concerned than confused, of course, but still confused.

He hadn’t done anything to Peter, as far as he knew, and he didn’t understand why Peter suddenly started ignoring his calls or avoiding him like the plague when he came to visit the Avengers compound.

Well, whatever. Nothing worth getting worked up about. Peter was a Midgardian, after all.

... Loki should never have gotten close to him in the first place. So why was he so concerned? Why did the fact that Peter had stopped talking to him upset him so much? I mean, sure, he enjoyed the kid’s company sometimes, and he was rather interesting to hang out with, but he was no more interesting than the others.

The only difference was that Peter didn’t hate him as the others did.

... or did he? He wouldn’t just stop talking to him altogether if he had no reason to. Peter wasn’t like that.

Still, Loki found that he wouldn’t be able to find closure until he figured out the reason, so he started calling Peter a few times a day until, finally, he picked up.

... he really didn’t sound happy when Loki said hello.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Peter snapped from the other end.

“Tell you what?” Loki asked, after a brief moment of hesitation. “I wasn’t keeping anything from you--”

“About what you did when you attacked New York!!” Peter yelled. “Y-You killed so many people and then you just came here and acted like nothing happened!! And why is everyone fine with it?? Wh-What did you do to them???”

“,,, Peter, I assure you, I didn’t do anything.” Loki said quietly. “I promise I manipulated their minds in no way whatsoever. I... I wouldn’t do that to them.”

Peter sounded even angrier than before when he snapped “I don’t believe you!!” 

After that, Loki fell silent. He just sat there on the ground (when had he sat down? He couldn’t remember his legs giving out) and let Peter yell at him as much as he needed to. He felt he needn’t explain the reasoning for the attack--that he hadn’t wanted to do it; that he was being controlled by a much more important enemy, that his actions had been fueled by the hatred built up in him from a thousand years of abuse--because it was much easier for Peter to simply hate Loki rather than hate the rest of the world.

... it was much easier for Loki to just let the kid vent all his anger on him instead of letting him snap at anyone else.

....

... all in all, the conversation really didn’t provide much closure.

[isa-ghost]

Good on you for not letting stuff from the past get you down. You deserve great things and great friends! Also happy New Year *chucks a bag of confetti from the closet*

Ayyyy 👉🏻😎👉🏻

You too Rilia <3 I hope 2022 lets you give a big fat middle finger to your chronic illness and stuff :>

But yeah, I'm ngl this whole falling out thing with my ex friend is probably my,, biggest ""scandal"" and insecurity in my entire online existence. I'd probably curl up and wish I could die if my anyone heard about how I used to be back then. Esp since a majority of the internet doesn't use critical thinking skills about how Nobody Is The Same Person They Were A Year Ago, let alone over 6 years ago.

But I was a pissed off depressed little sack of shit trapped in a shit irl living situation. While that doesn't make being a sack of shit valid whatsoever, its why I was how I was. That's just straight up the truth.

That person and I talked DAILY for Almost 5 years straight and we went through so much bullshit together and had each others backs while we each went through shit irl. Of fucking course my dysfunctional ass turned awful when I thought I was losing them after all of that. :/

I got protective of them after all the shit we went through, and got possessive because they were a comfort/escape from the shit I had to put up with irl. That 100% pushed them away and I kick myself for that now, but at the time I couldn't help it.

None of its an excuse for what I said or did and like I said in my reflection rambly vent whatever post, I am Genuinely Seriously disgusted I apparently said some of the shit I did that they have screenshots of. And I hand to whatever higher power SWEAR I do not remember ever saying that shit, and would NEVER say it now.

I'm an entirely different, MILES better person now. And I'm incredibly proud that I grew from not thinking I did anything wrong/excusing what I said to maturing enough to accept I was totally guilty of being shitty. But I will always maintain the fact that I got hurt too, I wasn't JUST the bad guy. Even if my bullshit is what caused me to get hurt, it doesn't make a difference in how severely it affected me and for how long.

I just hate the fact that me saying it hurt and permanently affected me makes me look like I'm playing Just the victim :T I'm my own worst critic though, so like. Just gotta tell the electric meat pilot to shut the fuck up.

[bobapplesims]

Ayyyy another vent post

here we go again oh boy I’m not gonna talk about my parents anymore cause even I’m sick of it.

I feel so lost right now. I feel like I’m dying on the inside but at the same time that my life is finally comming to life. I feel that soon I’m gonna be free but I still feel weighed down by all that I fear will happen before that. I know that fredom and happyness like the one I want and will have comes at a cost, and I’m afraid. But it’s inevitable. 

I don’t want pity or worry from you guys, I apreciate that you care about me but please don’t feel the need to come running to help me feel better. I’m just venting it out and I hope I’m not annoying you guys with ‘updates’ on my situation. But if I am please tell me

thanks for being here for me and supporting me guys

[taimaland]

I've not really done any of the things I was supposed to be doing today and now I'm back to laying around and feeling like shit ayyyy

I miss having a job and somewhere to go over the day... I miss having a muse for my characters and drawing...

I miss my friends...

I'm in one of those states where I start doubting anyone even likes me, that I'm annoying, have done something bad maybe... Are my friends tired of me? Bored by me?

Am I missing out on the hints telling me to go away because I want to believe they're not really there... Or am just imagining the hints in the first place?

Overthinking.

Aughhh... augh augh...

I don't want to be a bother...

Please don't comment on this post if you read... I'm just sad and venting

[grumpy-lynx-blog]

Back to Your Scheduled Program

I think I established quite nicely that we will be coming and going. Sometimes for a few weeks, sometimes for 8 months, sometimes hiatus will be announced, sometimes we won’t be able to announce it.

But we are back. For now, anyways.

That hand-written “trialogue” post yesterday was so spontaneous, it might as well become my favorite exchange with Ari and Kesh so far. In hindsight, such a post looks a little bit edgy and over the top, but shit, if you haven’t figured it out, your boy Lynx is edgy and over the top. It stays.

So... Let’s talk about what’s up.

Hiatus was caused in half by the amount of work I had to get done for uni, and the other half... Honestly, you might’ve noticed I’ve been running out of ideas for blog posts, such a break did me a good. I have so many things I want to write about, might have a decent chance at being at least semi interesting.

To recap what has been up with me, I will keep these short and talk about these in more detail at a later date. Here goes:

Our calculus professor turned out to be racist and xenophobic. Our course attracts a diverse range of minorities from foreign countries, thanks to the course being entirely in English. Result: Major drop in students’ will to live at about 8am and 11am every Tuesday.

My well being seems to exist in superposition between lonely and gay. My mood is a sine wave. Motivation(t) = e^-t. Pretty much the usual, but venting helps.

I developed a crush on a dude I see once a week for 1.5h. No mutual friends, know next to nothing about him, usually surrounded by at least 3 other dudes. I’d gladly just ask if he’s gay and up for a coffee, but there’s a bit more problems to this than I can fit in a short recap. Ayyyy.

I’m doing chaos magick again. Rambling about witch stuff coming Soon™.

Besides Ari and Kesh now there’s also Yura, but fucking hell, that’s a long story. Still figuring out this new dynamic we’ve got going. ᴵᶠ ᵃᶰʸ

I forgot something I wanted to add to this list. It will now haunt me for the next week.

We’re looking forward to writing again. We missed it.

Have a good day.

// Grumpy Lynx, also including Kesh in this sign off, because he asked nicely.

[itsyogurl-alice-blog]

Idea 7: Dear Diary or so forth

Dearest Tumblr blog, I have absolutely no idea how to start idea 7. Honestly I am very horrible in terms of making any sculpture or 3D based works, if anything my hand-to-hand handy work ends up looking like a typical DIY piece.. but only worse. Guess you can say I need a HAND when making them AYYYY. Ah but I digress. I really don't actually know what the word 'digress' really mean or how to use it. But it makes me sound fancy and I like that. On a more serious note though, since I'm more of a drawing and editing type of person AND I enjoy doing graphic drawings, I guess for now I shall stick to that skillset and experiment more on the digital skills. HOWEVER! I HAD tried to make several pieces of work using post-it and paper. [I attempted to make one of those card pop=up flowers and the surprise butterfly but ofcourse since I am absolutely hideous at making knick-knacks and crafts it did not work. And I shall not post the images of these up because hey, this is suppose to be my diary kinda work and realistically if one were to write in a diary to share their inner thoughts would they even bother to put pictures in their entry? drawing is more convenient, but pictures? printing them out and waste ink just to remind the failure of the work? No thankyou. At least for me that is. That would be better in a more creative diary that shows progress and documentation BUT this is not THAT kind of diary. Its the OTHER DIARY. The 'dear diary' one. Oh. Am I monologuing too much? my bad. Guess I should stop this right here and just move along.] To whomever that actually finish reading this I CONGRATULATE YOU! And appreciate that you spent your precious time to finish reading this. And I assume that you must be a very reliable person who is also a great listener! Thankyou so much for lending me your ear. Or should I say eyes? AHAHAHAHAHA But really thankyou beautiful person!

XX/XX/2017 - Insecure 'artist' ————————————— Idea 7:Using items that tend to be associated with traditional documentation to create one big sculpture.These items include:  - Pens / markers / pencil + pencil shaving -Paper / post it Concept of this idea is documentation in form a rant. The rant consists of the thoughts and feelings of the individual upon a certain challenge and thier insecurities. This is made, in hopes to make the reader at least relate with the writer (and honestly I, myself, needed to vent out my feelings. Not that it is actually me.)