#vampire vs human

[atlaslovesedm]

decided to draw a canon vs fanon thing i like a lot (that im also guilty of lol) at school today

[deadrlngers]

I'm the reticent vampire of the Ninth Arrondissement. I walk the night capturing disappointment and regret as only the reticent vampire can.

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2022-)

[hallucinatinghalos]

I don't think this contains spoilers but if you don't want to hear any book references or season 3 speculation be warned.

Reading the interview clip where Sam Reid said that Lestat is ripped from the stage by Magnus is wild because we know he knows the books, that's not how it happens there, so he's maybe let Rolin's version slip. Which, if holds true, would be a seismic change. Instead of being torn from Nicki's arms while they sleep, Lestat would be taken during a performance, in front of an audience. Surrounded by humanity, by those he loves, but not a soul can save him. The one place that brought him joy would now be connected to the trauma of Magnus and his turning. If he truly is going to be the catalyst for the theater becoming hunting grounds in the show, for better or worse, it would seem to be related to this change as well. Also, his rockstar moment would have a desperation to it that reflects the books but is tragic in its own way. It would all become devastating in a subtly different way than how Rice wrote it. Even events that only happen in the show would have a different impact. Like Armand first approaching him telepathically while he was on stage would now seem cruel and calculated, and later choosing to put the trial on stage. Sorry about the ramble but it blows my mind how much a small change, changes so much. The murder of the opera singer...the mocking of the Dracula film...the baby on the Mardi Gras float...would all feel different.

[rennyrose]

Hi! I love your monster Trigun au so much!!! Could you tell us more about vampire vash in this au? Is he still 100+ years old?

Thank you I’m glad you like it haha- and he is yes-! There’s a lot of stuff I need to work out and fill gaps on but™️ here’s some recent art snippets and a tad bit of lore-

Vash and Knives were born sometime in the 1800s, and of course grew up together very close- However Vash became chronically very ill, and at one point Knives became very desperate and would do whatever to keep his brother alive

Knives also had a special interest in the occult/supernatural, which would result in sacrificing a piece of Vash so his brother could become something else- then shortly after to do the same to himself

Now Vash continues to attempt to live as normally as he can- (with the exception of helping a new friend struggling to handle beastie tendencies)

[librababe99]

Beneath the Blood Moon

Tags: MDNI, 18+ONLY, Vampire!Dick Grayson, Human! Female Reader, mentions of blood, power imbalance, supernatural elements, dark romance, forbidden love  Summary: In the shadows of Gotham, a forbidden love burns between you and Dick, a vampire torn between his lingering humanity and his dark insatiable hunger. wc: 1.3K

A/N: I don't know what's gotten into me y'all but something about this photo has me feeling soooo many ways😏

| DC Masterlist |

The night wrapped around Gotham like a velvet cloak, its shadows thick with secrets, its darkness alive with mystery. The city streets were quieter than usual, a soft mist curling in the air, shimmering under the dim glow of the streetlights. You pulled your coat tighter around your body, the chill biting at your skin despite the layers. But the cold wasn’t what made you shiver. It was him.

You could feel him—somewhere in the darkness, watching. Waiting. Just like always.

Your steps quickened as you crossed the nearly empty street, your heart racing in your chest, though it had little to do with fear. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t avoid him. You didn’t want to. That was the worst part of it all.

You longed for him.

As you turned into the alley near your apartment, you saw him, his silhouette emerging from the shadows. Tall, muscular, dressed in black, with the kind of effortless grace that made it seem as if he was part of the night itself. Dick Grayson—once a hero, once a man, but now something else entirely.

A vampire.

His piercing eyes glowed faintly, like embers in the dark, and as they locked onto yours, you felt a tug deep inside your chest, as if he had control of something far more precious than just your heart. It was magnetic, this pull between you. Dangerous. Forbidden.

You knew it was wrong. He was no longer the man you had known, no longer fully human. And you… you were still mortal. Fragile. But that didn’t stop the longing that throbbed through your veins whenever you were near him, the ache of wanting him, needing him, in ways you could barely admit to yourself.

“You shouldn’t be out here so late,” his voice was deep, smooth, tinged with that familiar mixture of concern and hunger. The sound of it sent a thrill down your spine, making your skin prickle with awareness.

“I could say the same to you,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady as he stepped closer, his movements slow, deliberate, predatory. You could feel the heat of his body now, despite the coldness that seemed to radiate from him.

His smile was soft, but there was something dangerous in it. “You know why I’m here.”

You swallowed, your throat tight as he came closer still, until there was barely any space between you. His presence overwhelmed your senses—his scent, his closeness, the sharp gleam of his fangs when his lips parted slightly, as if tasting the air around you. It was intoxicating, the way he made you feel. He was so much stronger than you, so much darker, but you felt safe with him, even when you knew you shouldn’t.

“You shouldn’t do this,” you whispered, though your words were as much for yourself as they were for him.

He chuckled softly, his hand lifting to brush a strand of hair away from your face, his fingers lingering on your cheek, the coolness of his skin stark against the warmth of yours. “I know,” he said quietly, his voice filled with an edge of regret, but also something deeper, something that matched the ache you felt inside. “But I can’t stay away.”

Neither could you. Despite everything, despite the danger, the darkness, the blood that separated your worlds, you couldn’t stay away from him either.

Your breath hitched as his hand slid down your cheek, his thumb brushing across your lower lip with the barest pressure. His touch ignited something in you, something that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long. The heat pooled low in your belly, the pulse between your legs growing more insistent with every passing second.

“Every time I see you,” he murmured, his voice so soft it was almost a growl, “it gets harder. You don’t know what you do to me.”

You looked up at him, your heart hammering against your ribs. His eyes were dark, filled with a hunger that went beyond just the thirst for blood. It was deeper, more primal, and it mirrored your own yearning. The pull between you was undeniable, even though every rational part of your brain told you to stop this, to pull away.

But you couldn’t.

“I feel the same way,” you admitted, your voice barely more than a breath. It was the truth, and you both knew it. The tension between you was unbearable, electric, a coiled spring waiting to snap.

His thumb pressed harder against your lip, parting them slightly, and his eyes flicked down to your mouth with an intensity that made your legs tremble. “I could hurt you,” he whispered, the words heavy with warning, but there was no mistaking the longing in his voice. “I should walk away. But I can’t. I need you.”

The heat that surged through your body was overwhelming, an ache that demanded to be satisfied. You didn’t care about the danger, not anymore. You wanted him. You had always wanted him, even before the transformation, even before the darkness that now consumed him. But now, that want has grown into something more—a burning need, fierce and consuming.

“I’m not afraid,” you whispered, your voice trembling with both fear and desire. “I trust you.”

The way his eyes darkened at your words sent a shiver through you, and before you could take another breath, his lips were on yours. The kiss was hard, almost desperate, his cool mouth devouring yours with a hunger that matched your own. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you against him, and you melted into his embrace, your fingers tangling in his hair, tugging him closer, needing more.

His fangs grazed your lip, sharp and dangerous, and a small gasp escaped you, but the sting only heightened your desire. He deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping over yours, tasting, claiming, as though he was trying to drink in every part of you. You moaned against his mouth, your body arching into his, craving the touch of his hands, the press of his body against yours.

When he finally broke the kiss, you were both breathless, your chest heaving as you stared up at him. His eyes were wild, the faintest hint of red flickering in them, and you could see the struggle etched into his features—the battle between the man he was and the creature he had become.

“I want you,” he growled, his voice thick with desire, his hand sliding under your coat to rest on the curve of your hip. “But if we do this… I don’t know if I can stop.”

The weight of his words sank into you, but it didn’t scare you. You wanted him just as fiercely, just as desperately. Even if it meant surrendering to the darkness that clung to him.

“I don’t want you to stop,” you whispered, your voice trembling with the intensity of your need.

He groaned, his forehead resting against yours for a brief moment before he captured your lips again, this time softer, slower, as though he was savoring the taste of you. His hands roamed your body, exploring every curve, every inch, while your own hands found the smooth muscles of his chest, feeling the raw strength beneath the surface.

You were lost in him, in the heat, in the desire that pulsed between you. It didn’t matter that he was no longer human, that this love was dangerous, forbidden. All that mattered was the way he made you feel—the way he ignited something inside you that no one else ever had.

“I’ll make you mine,” he whispered against your lips, his voice thick with need, “but I’ll never turn you. I want you like this—human. Alive.”

His words sent a shudder through you. You knew this was wrong, that it could never last. But right now, at this moment, none of that mattered.

All that mattered was him.

And the way he made you feel like you were the only thing keeping him tethered to the last remnants of his humanity.

[blenselche]

opinion on finnceline?

I've got the tag blocked cuz some people I follow like it and it's not my jam. (I see the aesthetic vision of grown-ass bear Finn simping for her but eh.) I think it's sweet that Marcy is Finn's catalyst to growing out of seeing every girl as someone to woo/a romantic option, he calms down and matures into himself through their friendship and I think that + their casual closeness/platonic intimacy is more engaging than anything else.

[betweensaintsandmonsters]

okay okay vampire obi-wan and anemic human anakin who goes to be his meal at like a fancy vampire bistro that pays willing humans to "donate" blood (get bitten) and tastes like shit whomst obi-wan then tries to take care of (in all the ways he can from sunset to sunrise) first so his food tastes good (bc anakin keeps coming back) and then because he cares

sends cookbooks to his apartment, tries to get him to go to the doctor, sends him other little gifts when he sees thinks that make him think of anakin, obi-wan just like wants to take care of his boy because he's clearly not taking care of himself (he signed up to be vampire food so that much should have been obvious) and obi-wan just wants him well is that too much to ask?

they fight about this often. (first: "how did you get my address?" "It's on the form you filled out to be here" "invasion of privacy much?" then: "you could always just... choose someone else?" "and let another vampire suffer from your lack of self care? absolutely not."") ("i don't know why you're putting so much into this? "i must have nothing else to do.") ("if this bothers you so much... just let someone else feed off me." "no.")

anakin stops showing up to be dinner for a few weeks and obi-wan gets worried. but he's not sure how far he's allowed to go in his worry, they're technically just... predator and prey (though obi-wan wouldn't describe them like that) it's just that no one tastes like anakin (that's definitely it) and nobody sasses him like anakin, and nobody is anakin and anakin is missing and clearly if he's been gone this long he can't possibly be okay

(and obi-wan is right, anakin isn't okay. he's in the hospital with an arm that might need to be amputated (but it was obi-wan's favorite place to drink from since he won't touch anakin's neck for reasons he WON'T explain)

(if you asked obi-wan why he didn't bite anakin's neck to begin with, he'd heavily imply there's no reason, but when pressed, it would be that anakin let's out this breathy moan when he's bitten, and it's music to obi-wan's ears, a symphony to his soul, he doesn't think he'd survive it if that was right in his ear, he'd have to kiss the boy then and there, have to keep him, and he can't do that, so his neck is off limits. it is IMPERATIVE anakin does not know this)

and he's lost a lot of blood and he's suffering and not alone because ahsoka and padme keep visiting, but he doesn't know how much he misses obi-wan until he isn't seeing him)

so one night obi-wan goes to anakin's apartment to see he isn't there and hasn't been there in weeks based on sent, and panics because what if he drove his beautiful boy away, or what if someone went after him, and obi-wan can't go in bc vampire rules say he needs permission and also it's good manners.

eventually anakin comes back to him, sans one arm, apologetic because "i know that's where you liked to bite" as if that could possibly be the reason that obi-wan is as upset as he is when he comes in. "i'd understand if you need a different meal," he says, as if that's all he is when obi-wan refuses to bite him because for the first time, he looks fragile and that's heartbreaking

so anakin leaves and obi-wan is gobsmacked, flabberghasted, realized anakin waited to have this conversation as close to sunrise as possible so obi-wan couldn't follow him out of the bar, but he doesn't realize that his vampire would absolutely run into the sun for him (except quin and satine 1000% don't let him "that's not how you get your man, he doesn't want a pile of dust, where's that going to get you, man, think for just a fraction of a second")

so obi-wan send anakin more little gifts, things he can puzzle out one handed as he gets used to being an amputee, trinkets he might enjoy, notes that are meant to make him smile, or that say he'll find somewhere else to feed on the boy if that's going to get him to come back when nothing else has worked. all he wants is to let anakin know that he's he's appreciated, make him feel wanted and loved.

eventually anakin sends him a note back with his phone number and then texts him to come over. he makes obi-wan stand on his stoop for an excruciating amount of time and he gets a lecture about personal space, and respecting people's wishes and "it doesn't matter that you're 300 years old, some people just don't want anything to do with you!" and anakin tries to say all of this with a straight face, before he cracks because he misses obi-wan and it is an act, and he's been in love with this vampire since he decided it was his job to take care of one human that wasn't taking care of himself.

then anakin kisses him and gives him a goofy grin and asks "what are you doing just standing there?"

"are you inviting me in?"

"i guess i am. you're stuck with me though, i'm your problem now."

"darling, you've been my problem for a long time, and i wouldn't have it any other way."

and eventually they fuck, and obi-wan bites anakin's neck, and here's his symphony played out in the most desirable circumstances. and they live happily ever after

(until anakin pesters him about making him a vampire "so i can be your problem, permanently" and they argue about it, but agree that anakin gets a life first "you've gotta be at least 40 before i turn you, i'm not going around looking like i forever robbed the cradle!" "you're not even 40! 25." "nope." "fine, 30 then, final offer." "and if I say no?" obi-wan's grin is feral, like he knows he's lost but he's still willing to play the game. "i know you won't" so does obi-wan)

[mybabysitterisntavampire]

I am so mad that this game is technically lost media I want to play it so bad

[brsb4hls]

Maybe the 'humanization' of iwtv's amc version threw people off a bit.

I know I felt a certain kind of disconnect due to a horror show looking like a gay hipster drama.

But the show is still about monsters.

In the actual sense.

As in 'not human'.

And monsters act differently and have a different 'moral codex' if you can call it that.

So constantly pitting them against each other in a way where one party is measured by human standards makes no sense.

They are all equally horrible and by vampire standards that makes sense.

I get everyone is rooting for their fave and has therefore more compassion for one specific set of trauma, I know I do, but the discourse about who is the evil one is still extremely off.

Like, we should be looking from a human perspective, so everyone is evil, since they would all kill us.

[stickkitty]

I got color names for the AvAvM characters

I used four websites which I will bullet in order for each one:

- color-name.com

- colornamer.robertcooper.me

- chir.ag/projects/name-that-color

- colors.artyclick.com

I will also sometimes be pretending their names become their literal personality/design because its fun for this post

EDIT: I forgot to say but the reason I am doing this is cuz I found out Alan Revealed official hex codes for a lot of the characters (idk when this was, I usually look at the AvA wiki and I suddenly saw it there and was like ooh this is useful) I did not do TDL or TDL cuz they are straight up just pure black and red (usually gives no other names for such pure colors although I technically never checked). The mercs did not get hex code reveals sadly (but they are multicolor so I wouldn’t do them anyway). I am not sure who else got hex reveals that I did not do other than hangman and Vic’s gray workers, but hangman is also pure black and I didn’t feel like doing anyone else. (Edited this again)

THE SECOND COMING

- Orange (wow basic)

- Safety Orange (honestly fits their personality)

- Blaze Orange (last two websites had this result. ArtyClick said it was a 100% match!)

- ArtyClick always says 4 similar color names. One was Mango Tango and surprisingly King didn’t have that from any website or the similar names list.

RED

- Boston University Red (That’s his future university now)

- Communist (Red’s a Communist?! :0)

- Guardsman Red

- Rosso Corsa

YELLOW

(Sigh no yellow text color on Tumblr I swear they used to have yellow)

- Tangerine Yellow (their new fave fruit)

- USC Gold (Yellow’s future University)

- The last two sites said Supernova which is a very cute name

GREEN

- Alien Armpit (BAHAHAHA THAT NAME- rip Green's ego)

- Blinking Terminal

- Limeade (that’s better)

- Alien Green (never mind he’s an Alien again) (Green is an Alien and he is kinda spacey)

BLUE

- Spiro Disco Ball (fits their personality since they are very good at dancing)

- Shovel Knight (Kinda fits cuz Blue likes gardening) (Shovel Knight and Guardsman Red should be in the same kingdom)

- Dodger Blue (her favorite sports team)

- Bright Sky Blue

PURPLE

- Heliotrope Magenta

- Magentle (A gentle Magenta?)

- Violet Eggplant

- Barney Purple (LOL Barney the dinosaur)

PURPLE’S MOM

I call her Sakura but she has other names so I just put Purples Mom

- “Shocking Pink (Crayola)” (Crayola? How shocking…)

- This and the next website both said Pink Flamingo

- Fuchsia Pink

PURPLE’S DAD

- Blue (wow basic #2)

- C64 Blue (...interesting name)

- Blue Ribbon (cuz he won so many fights I guess)

- ArtyClick Ocean Blue (The website name is in his name?)

- Similar name ArtyClick gave me is “Blue Orchid” which is cool since many people hc Pink to be called Orchid. Blue Orchid and Pink Orchid!

Bonus for Blue Ribbon and Blue Orchid:

Bonus for the first ribbon drawing except the ribbon says something else:

King Orange

- Metallic Orange

- “Apple II Chocolate”

- The last two sites said Bamboo (aren’t bamboos green?)

Gold

- Chinese Gold (so he’s Chinese?)

- Leopard (cute ^ ^)

- Buddha Gold (and he's Buddhist?)

- Yellow Ochre

Victim

- Dark Liver

- Fiftieth Shade of Gray

- Emperor (Guardsman Red and Shovel Knight serves xem)

- Vampire (Vampire Vic :0)

Corn Dog Guy

- Smoky Topaz

- Cranberry Zing

- The last two sites said Copper Rust

[raebiis]

Something about the Twilight vampires has been keeping me up at night- specifically Edward and Bella’s relationship.

Okay, so hear me out. There’s sort of an assumption made about vampires in-universe because the Cullens being vegetarian is so different from the norm. But also, they can’t have been so completely wrong if they’re actually able to survive on animal blood, right?

It’s even in the name “vegetarian vampires”. The assumption being that once a human turns into a vampire, they become so far removed from humanity as a species that eating them isn’t considered, like, ‘unforgivable’ or a form of cannibalism. There’s not even a real moral struggle for most. Because feeding from a human for Twilight vampires means killing them 100% of the time, right?

Other vampires in media are given a choice- it comes down to their morality. In other words, they’re closer to human in the fact that they rely on personal beliefs (and the general apathy of time) to tell them how they should consume blood. It doesn’t mean killing the human every time they feed, but they might still choose to do so.

Uh, because I feel like I made that more convoluted than I intended, I’ll boil it down to this: Twilight vampires kill humans every time they feed, but vegetarianism is incredibly rare (even though it’s possible) because guilt/empathy is even rarer. Other media vampires still struggle with the morality of it, and usually choose not to kill the human (or switch to animals) unless their age begins to affect apathy upon them… or they were always murderous, even before turning.

So Twilight vampires don’t feel (or rarely feel) empathy for humans… because they’re so far from human that it doesn’t even register in their brain as an issue, most of the time.

So would that make Edward and Bella’s relationship more fucked up than just Bella boinking a dead guy? Do other vampires in-universe think Edward’s committing bestiality?

Tl;Dr. Is Edward committing bestiality (in other vampire’s opinions) when he sleeps with Bella before she becomes a vampire?

[nekioe]

When Dream finally escapes Pandora there's something off about him. Punz doesn't notice it immediately, maybe they first excuse it as the loneliness and trauma showing it's scars. But as time goes on it gets more and more clear that something just isn't right. Something beyond the trauma. They don't know what, but something has changed, something in the core of Dream that made him, well... Dream. Its hard to explain. Escpessially since Punz isn't quite sure if he's actually right or if it could all just be explained by Dreams trauma.

There are two major thing Punz has noticed:

Dream moves in a different way. He has always been very loud and dramatic, big animated gestures. Constantly pacing and moving. Even during the wars, although maybe a little less. Now, Dream stands eerily still. And when he moves, he does it with an inhuman sort of perfect, moves at a constant speed with a supernatrual preciseness.

When he speaks, the words sound unatrual on his tongue. Punz feel like Dream's stuttering through them, forcing them out of his mouth as if he's dragging them from some far away place that might not even be part of him anymore. But Punz has never actually heard Dream stutter. His words flow seamlessly like water, tone, and pronounciation perfect. Always perfect.

It's a paradox Punz can't understand, and it's making them feel more and more insane.

This is just an idea i got for vampire c!dream after watching arcane s2 and the way Victor acted after uhm thing.. (trying not to spoil anything, even tho it's rly minor). I just think that the feeling of something being wrong or other would be nice for v!dream. Before Punz even gets to know what happened to Dream, aka loosing all of his last humanity and becoming vampire, Punz notises something being wrong. It could be explained by trauma, and some of it might be that, but they feel like something else has changed, something to do with Dream's nature. And they're not wrong🤷

[mybabysittersavampiredotcom]

Humans vs Vampires (PC) Complete win screens

missing: Rory keaner, Zombie Princible, Nurse Vee.

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Re: my last post

Jason who gets turned Vampire: the Masquerade style by a Sire he actually really likes, and who finds friends amongst the other vampires of Gotham (especially the Bruja)

Jason who ends up in a fight with a Sabbat pack, and tears them to pieces

Jason who expects this to be a massive fight with Bruce

Jason who has to rethink his entire worldview in horror as Bruce simply shrugs and tells him it's fine because "They were already dead."

[autistically-zoinked]

I'm currently obsessed with watching iwtv reactions rn and it sucks soooo bad when the reactors aren't freaks. "OMG Lestat and Louis are so toxic! Claudia is evil! Armand is literally Satan! Daniel is an asshole" like ughhh SHUT UPPPPP THAT'S THE POINT!

But I do have to say that it makes it 10× better when the reactor is a freak (affectionate). Like they understand that it's a gothic romance and love it! (I also love when they can dissect WHY the characters are behaving the way they do.)

[goldeneyedgirl]

Ficmas24 Day 8: Damaged Alice

Good evening everyone! Definitely lost track of time and this was later than I was going to upload but alas, here we are.

Today's is Damaged Alice. Fun fact with this: I cannot, for the life of me, find the original post I made for this fic. I have trawled my blog, searched it, manually gone through all my postings and I cannot find it. So I can't even reupload what I've already posted because I don't know what I've posted.

So I've gone in blind. This is for the New Moon-era of the fic, just kind of riffing on both sides. I had a very clear view of Alice finding herself and her history which is a very liberal and broad use of mental healthcare from the 20s, because Meyer is a twit who did zero research. We're going with the idea that Alice's doctors were racing the Italians towards new, innovative treatments for mental health and were testing their theories out on wards of the state.

There's also a lot of little details about Jasper and Alice's relationship here which I am obsessed with and are pretty much the entire reason I started this 'verse. It's the little things, I swear.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, and I will be catching up on my inbox tomorrow because I need 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep tonight or I might cry (again.) Ahh, the holiday season <3

---

Ithaca is quiet. That’s the best way he can describe it.

Moving is always difficult for Alice; they all blame her visions, but she thrives in routine. He always jokes that it’s not his level of control that keeps him from slipping, it’s that he hates making her move before it’s time. As Esme and Edward always remind the others, Alice needs the security and certainty of her five years in each home.

So the Cullen departure from Forks on Edward’s demand should have been disastrous. Rose and Emmett are leaving for Europe directly, which has been planned for months. Esme already has a house waiting in Ithaca that she’s been looking forward to restoring, so it seems like the best choice - right across the country with new names and stories. They can be there in a day.

Alice is stressed, but not in a bad way. She complains to Edward, that it’s not fair, and that Bella’s going to suffer. That Victoria’s still out there and this isn’t the way to deal with it. He’s hurting Bella worse doing this.

(And he can feel the guilt leaking out of her, that if things were different, Bella wouldn’t have gotten hurt. She still won’t tell him what she saw that night, before it all went sour, but Bella has a dozen stitches up her arm and a wicked bruise across her chest and now they have to leave her behind.)

Edward is grieving and despite an infinite well of affection and patience for Alice, the spike of rage when Alice tells him that he’s making things worse for Bella is enough that Jasper thinks that Edward might slap her and ends the conversation with a look.

“You have to pack, love,” he reminds her and Alice screws up her face and stomps off to her room. Edward grunts his thanks that Jasper has ended the conversation and disappears into the bowels of the house to brood.

Jasper has no illusions about his youngest brother; they will be returning to Forks. It really just depends on how long Edward can play martyr (and if it’s long enough that Bella outgrows him) or how long Victoria hides in the shadows. It’s really easier just to agree and get on with Edward’s dramatic pantomime of star-crossed lovers rather than argue with him.

Alice paces a lot, in-between packing. She hates being micromanaged, so he casually packs his things at the same time, tossing in the items that she almost always forgets but needs. Not to mention the things that she’s going to want when the stress of everything fades, and she can think clearly - there have been a few forgotten phones and more than a few forgotten laptops over the years. And Esme’s practiced at making sure certain things - particular blankets, clothing items, furniture, books - are present at every single house to prevent disaster for all of them, but especially for Alice.

(It’s 1976, and Alice is having a very, very bad day. It’s the worst one he’s ever had to handle on his own. She’s staring unseeing at the corner, trembling. She hasn’t responded to him in any way - not when he called her name, touched her hand, used his gift. Her emotions are churning to the point that he cannot separate them enough to make a difference. And there’s a blanket, an ocean blue one that Esme found at some street vendor in New Hampshire, that helps. They’ve dragged it from place to place for years, Esme carefully re-stitching the fraying edges, adding more panels to the bottom half for reinforcement. But he cannot find it and he has a sinking feeling that it has been left in Montana, tossed carelessly over a chair in his study. Everyone is away and he’s been trusted with Alice alone for the first time, he needs to fix this.)

So, somehow they manage to make it to Ithaca. Somehow, Alice stays calm - she spends the drive in the passenger seat, focused on crocheting a fall poncho that he knows is a way for her to keep her hands busy.

“You wanna talk?” He asks gently.

She shakes her head. “Uh-uh.”

He waits for the breakdown. For the panic attack, and the desperate need to cling to him for a day or two. For blank eyes and days of no words. Especially when they get to Ithaca, and the house is different. It’s a new acquisition, there’s no furniture installed yet.

But nothing.

So he shouldn’t be that shocked when, after three weeks of haunting the mostly-empty house (it’s very, very strange to be alone with Esme and Carlisle. Edward has been a fixture for so long, it’s downright bizarre for there to be only four of them), Alice takes off. There’s a sticky-note on his computer screen that he finds when he gets back from classes.

Going to Mississippi to find myself. Will be back soon. Will be careful. Love you.

(The only upside is that he gets to freak out and calm down before Esme and Carlisle get home, are informed, and he has to talk them out of a panic. All three of them panicking about Alice’s whereabouts at the same time would not have been helpful.)

// She finds herself in an abandoned hospital slated for demolition within months. There’s not much left of it - there was a fire in the 60s that wiped out the main building. Since then, it’s been left to rot, and there’s a lot of legal and media attention on the hundreds of unnamed bodies buried on its grounds.

It doesn’t feel like a place that she wants to be. Esme and Carlisle are always very clear that if she’s uncomfortable, she needs to leave. If she forces herself to stay somewhere, she’ll get upset.

(‘Upset’ is a euphemism for a lot of things. It can mean crying, it can mean biting, it can mean that she’s not going to talk for the rest of the day. Carlisle just tells her that she’s a very sensitive girl, and it’s okay. She’s doing so much better than when she first joined them, and that he’s proud of her. But sometimes it’s hard to believe that when the high school teachers and students are calling her names behind her back, telling her that she’s a burden to the Cullens. So she tries really hard not to get upset.)

Jasper is definitely upset that she went alone. It’s the first time she’s gone alone anywhere. Well, that’s not true. Jasper used to let her go places - once, he pretended they were going to Seattle for a weekend when he let her fly to New York City alone to buy a dress. He said that she could do it by herself and that it was important that she tried, in case he wasn’t around.

(She got upset at that because, frankly, the idea of Jasper not being around is the worst thought ever. He’s been around since she opened her eyes, even if it was just as pictures in her head. The moon might as well fall out of the sky if anything takes Jasper away from her.)

But this is the first time it wasn’t planned out, the first time he hasn’t known exactly where she was going, the first time she hadn’t gone over it with him and her visions to make sure it went smoothly.

It’s definitely the first time she’s been on her own for more than a day in a very long time. Sometimes she thinks that the Cullens forget that she was alone until she found them, and she was okay then.

(She wishes Jasper was here right now.)

The files she would have found at the University Hospital Library were frustratingly incomplete, but the librarian she would have asked would have told her that they ran out of funding to finish digitalizing them, and that a lot of stuff in storage from the old asylum had never even been moved - too expensive.

(And then she would have gotten caught as not being a student of the university, and there would have been a fuss because she might have remembered to bring almost everything she needed but she definitely only has her Forks High student I.D. and a Washington state driver’s license that says she’s under eighteen. It was better just to do that through very monotonous, careful visions and skip the in-person visit.)

There’s an old statue in the middle of the long grass behind a cracked and forgotten fountain, and she’s got an uncomfortable feeling that she’s seen it before, when it was taken care of. Which makes sense. She knows this is where she was before she was changed. She’s even got a short list from the internet of eight different girls that she might have been.

It takes her over an hour to navigate the hospital, because it is upsetting her. It’s dark instead, and everything is broken and rotten and forgotten. It makes her chest feel tight, and like there’s something in the dark she really, really doesn’t want to find.

(There is, but she also has to find it. James is dead and gone, and anything else in the dark she can fight herself. Plus she knows that Esme put a GPS tracker inside her necklace, and Jasper tracks her phone. She can’t get lost again, they made sure of it.)

It’s a room in the basement where she finds what she’s looking for. There’s a good inch of murky, standing water, and for a moment, she’s worried that anything she’s looking for will be destroyed. But maybe she’s lucky.

(‘B’ is at the top of the alphabet, so it s in the top drawer, where the water can’t get to. ‘Mary-Alice Brandon’ is the fourth name on her list, and the second youngest.)

The filing cabinet is rotten, and most of the files are moldy and disintegrating. Only a few of the surviving files are still legible. But she finds it in the end. It is thick and worn, but she takes it up the old stairs to the light, and spreads the pages out.

She is a child in the first photo, a girl with long black braids and wide eyes. She looks haunted and miserable, and is clutching a doll with a death-grip. Little Mary-Alice is so very young. Too young.

There are four more photographs – one of her nude as a child, bruises blooming all over her legs and torso. Then one of her older, clad in a thin hospital gown, with the most frightened eyes Alice has ever seen. Another, when she is closer to when she was changed; her hair is only a little shorter, and the way she looks at the camera is strange and not right.

The final one makes her sick. It makes her stomach twist and she doesn’t want to look at it. But she has to. It’s one that shows hideous black stitches curving along her bald skull, her eyes empty as she slumps in a wheel-chair. She is so thin in the final photograph, her bones jut from her body. There is an ugly scar on her belly and dozens of bruises all over her.

The notes are handwritten and faded, but she deciphers what she can, and they tell a hideous story that leaves her shaking – Mary-Alice Brandon. Born 28th February, 1901. Admitted September 4th 1911. State custody. Schizophrenia. Hysteria. Metrazol program. Electoplexy Protocol. Lobotomy. Hysterectomy.

(Mary-Alice Brandon died on September 4th, 1911. That’s what the internet said - pneumonia. She’s buried in Biloxi, a footnote on a family grave.)

She wants to call Jasper (“I think I was made like this, not born like this. I don’t understand.”) and have him come find her. She could except she’s not sure she can speak without screaming. She’s not even sure if she can stand up and leave.

Breathe in.

(She can’t. She stays there, trembling, all of the night, trying to wrap her head around those photographs. Trying to understand what she’s seeing, and to forget every single thing she knows about old-fashioned medicine.)

Breathe out.

(Oh. This is going to upset Carlisle a lot. Like the book on the Spanish Influenza or that whole magazine article about Rosalie’s disappearance.)

Breathe in.

(She wishes Jasper was here.)

Breathe out.

(Her head hurts so bad.)

Breathe in.

(Jasper made her a recording. He was going to spend a few days with Peter and Charlotte, and she was worried. He put it on her phone. It’s stupid and she shouldn’t need it but it always, always helps. Just Jasper calmly telling her that he loves her, and he’ll see her soon, and everything will be okay. It’s still on her phone, and her headphones are in her bag. He always reminds her to pack them, even though they don’t block everything out because they’re designed for humans. And maybe, maybe, putting them on and pressing play is what she needs. Maybe it feels like she can breathe a little more, even with those photos still spread out in front of her. One step at a time.)

Breathe out.