#vamp mimes

[shopwitchvamp]

Jester Joggers Are Back!

Restocks are up now! Please keep in mind that we'll be closing for a break starting on Nov. 25th at 11am CT, so there's only a few days left to get orders in! 🖤witchvamp.com🖤

[katiefratie]

Vampmimes???? Bro what......

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

yknow...

in terms of the finale "not being what it seemed"

there rly was just

an entire faceless woman in a long dress standing there in the corner. menacingly.

everyone saw her. everyone fucking hates her but nobody considers why.

its like everyone hates that the way Sam "aged", because it was too fast and unnatural and doesn't make any sense

uhhh anyway what the FUCK kind of monster was Blurrywife. bc whatever that was, I think it ate Sam.

and there was no reason sam should have just forgotten eileen and moved on from her! jack brought everyone back! she was alive! she and sam had a romantic arc that spanned several seasons and was a core plot point of this final season, she was his final love interest, they shared an entire arc! they both had devoted time and growth to this relationship, and aside from eileen needing space and time to think after being unsure what was real due to chuck ( :| where have we seen that before. with the period of separation before the reunion and continued growth of the relationship, where they both grew back together and decided to move forward as a team) neither of them made the choice to no longer pursue this relationship. 

instead what we get is eileen being wiped out with the rest of the world and sam frantically searching for her before having one (1)! brief scene grieving and then. nothing. in spite of the fact jack brought everyone back. in spite of the fact we have confirmation her character was meant to be included to a bare minimum extent in the finale. 

there was, quite literally, no reason why that relationship should have just been eliminated, both from these character’s lives and on screen. it made no narrative sense why, after an entire season of devoted time to establishing and building this relationship, it should simply end unceremoniously for no reason. there was no reason for, as j*red said, eileen to have been an oh so tragic “what could have been” in sam’s life. there was literally no narrative, character reason for that. there was no reason if, this was always the ending they were going to have for these two main characters, that sam and eileen wouldn’t have reunited and continued their lives together. there was absolutely no reason why eileen - and moreover shoshannah - should have been replaced with a nameless, blurry wife. when there was absolutely ways she could have been incorporated within covid restrictions, there was absolutely a bare minimum of effort to be extended here. 

there’s not only no justification for it from a writing standpoint, from a production standpoint, but from an in universe character standpoint as well.

[dandelionpixels]

reader + what we do in the shadows household

(platonic/family)

ask: I’m desperately coping with the show ending, so do you suppose we could have some wwdits headcanons where the reader is a half-vampire and announces that they’re getting married?

- you’re probably pretty nervous to announce it, given the vamps aren’t known for being good with change. you dance around it for a while, hiding your engagement ring in your pocket and being paranoid about any love-life related questions.

- eventually you can feel yourself buckle under the stress, knowing you have to tell someone. it’s late when you knock on guillermo’s door, rushing inside the second he opens it.

“Hi? Hi! What’s going on, are you okay?”


You nod quickly, not knowing how to say it. Before you can chicken out, you pull the ring out of your pocket and slide it onto your finger. Biting your lip nervously, you extend your hand out. Guillermo has to physically cover his mouth to stop himself from letting out an excited squeak, but you can see his grin all over his face.

He grabs your hand, admiring the ring, “Oh my gosh, how long?”

Face splitting into a grin, you can feel yourself shaking the stress off your shoulders already. You’d been wanting to be excited with someone for so long. “Next month!”

His mouth drops as he looks up at you, “Have you told the others?”

Shaking your head slowly, you raise your hands into a prayer gesture, wincing slightly at it, “I was actually hoping you could do me a big favor and help out with that.”

- you guys spend the whole night on guillermo’s bed, sitting cross-legged trying to figure out the best way to launch it to the other members of the household.

- the next morning you both enter the kitchen exhausted, making nadja recoil in disgust, “Ew, why do you two look so… dead?” You both shoot her a look and she rolls her eyes, “You know what I mean.”

- it takes too long to gather everyone into the living room. every time you bring the last person in, the others have disappeared back into their rooms. and when you do get everyone sat down, laszlo won’t stop obsessing over the “sliding boxes” on the laptop. no matter how many times you explain what a slideshow is, he can’t grasp it.

The slideshow starts easy, with a few pictures of you and your partner early into dating. You explain who it is and how you guys met. Nandor isn’t paying attention, busy trying to untie his double-knotted boots. Nadja and Laszlo are on thin ice, only paying attention to giggle and point at every single transition in the slideshow. Colin is paying far too much attention, trying to give you tips on how to improve your ‘slideshow game’ while you do your best to ignore him.

Nevertheless, Guillermo shoots you a thumbs up and you keep going. The next pictures are more recent, various adventures the two of you had gone on together. You get to the second to last slide, a picture taken of both of you, your partner’s hand behind their back. You glance up to see that no one has picked up any hints you were putting down. Looks like a soft-launch is off the table.

Clicking through to the last slide, you reveal the ring on your other hand, waving it in front of everyone to get their attention. 


“I’m getting married!”

Laszlo reacts first, standing up and stomping his foot, “Absolutely not! I will not have you sold off without me knowing about it, unless we are in dire need of livestock.”

You cock your head in equal parts confusion and annoyance. Next to him, Nadja stands up slower, hands outstretched, “Laszlo, you dumbass! As usual, you’ve got it all wrong, they’re getting married like idiots because they want too.” It’s oddly tender, coming from her, and you can feel your eyes tearing up.

She grabs your hands, eyes watering, “I’ve always wanted to be a plant woman.”

Glancing behind her, you see Guillermo mouth ‘flower girl’ and mime throwing petals. Smiling, you squeeze her hands, “You will absolutely be our plant woman, I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Laszlo sticks out a hand, weirdly formal. You drop Nadja’s hands to cautiously shake his. He nods sharply, “Although I only believe in the marriage between me and my darling wife, I truly hope you beat the odds. Or more likely, give an honorable attempt at beating the odds.” Smiling, you can sense the genuine congratulations behind his mildly judgmental words.

Colin rises from the couch, corners of his mouth ever so slightly upturned, “This is very good, I’ve always wanted to bake a wedding cake.” You look at him, letting out a slight laugh of disbelief, “Colin, did you say you’re happy for me?” He stares back, “I don’t think so, but if that’s what you heard, I’ll let it slide.” You can’t help but shoot Guillermo a surprised look, and then nod quickly to Colin, “It’s…appreciated? I hope you don’t take it personally that I can’t allow you to make a toast at the wedding.”

He nods, “I understand, but it’s actually quite interesting how toasts came to be, especially in the context of-,”

Nandor interrupts, picking a perfect time to pitch in, “You’re- really getting married?” He gestures between Nadja and Laszlo, “Like… them?” He’s clearly grossed out, but makes a clear effort to try and hide it. The effort is appreciated and you nod, “Not exactly like them, I hope.” You make an apologetic glance in their direction, “No offense. But yeah, I’m getting married for real.”

He looks dramatically towards Guillermo, “Must everyone flaunt their happiness in my face?” Guillermo rolls his eyes, “Can you please just be supportive?”

Knowing Nandor’s delicate feelings about weddings and change and love, you sit down next to him on the couch, “Hey.”

He pretends not to hear you, pouting in defiance. You take a breath, smiling despite yourself, “Nandor, I wanted to ask you something. It’s really important, please listen.” You see him perk up slightly, still looking down. Putting a hand on his shoulder, you let out a resigned breath, “Would you like to write a speech for my wedding?”

Spinning around to face you, he stifles a smile, “A speech?” You nod and he lets a grin force it’s way onto his face as he gives you an energetic yet slightly awkward side hug, “Yes! And it’ll be the best speech I’ve ever written. Long, and- and with a lot of words.”

You lean over to whisper to Guillermo, “Will you please proofread that speech?” He nods worriedly, keeping an eye on Nandor as the vampire gestures widely.

Nadja and Laszlo push you to the side, sitting on the couch beside you. Guillermo looks down the couch at everyone, “Guys, let’s be as helpful as possible, okay? Weddings take a lot of planning, even in the last month.”


Everyone nods eagerly, and you feel your chest go warm. Though sometimes clumsy and emotionally immature, hearing everyone excitedly discuss absolutely ridiculous wedding ideas is somehow the sweetest gesture ever. Nadja is talking to Guillermo about finding ‘some of those dancing shirtless people’ for a party, Laszlo is concerningly preoccupied with a topiary sculpture to commemorate your day, Nandor is reciting speech ideas out loud, and Colin is pretending not to look up cake recipes on the laptop.

- the actual wedding goes beyond fantastic. nadja is a lovely flower girl, even with doll nadja sitting in the flower petal basket. nandor’s speech is surprisingly heartfelt, even more so when guillermo admits he didn’t help all that much. laszlo insists he’s going to walk you down the aisle, whether you like it or not. colin is trying very hard to walk the line of making the full vampires chill out without putting them to sleep. it’s his idea of a wedding gift. guillermo also makes sure they don’t wreck too much havoc, and that they confuse your older relatives as little as possible.

[vaguesxrrow]

heya! its me, once more, with a possibly oddly specific request, bc yes

i'd like to request a Dean Winchester (again, i know, he has invaded my brain) x reader, where for a case, they need a distraction, and reader ends up dancing to let Dean and Sam get away before running away themself, [oh, btw, established relationship please] and Dean is just

Dean: "they can dance too?! they're awesome"

Sam: "yeah, great, dude, but we gotta go"

thank you!!

HELLOO AGAIN !! this was so fun to write as usual. im so glad to have u as one of my 'regulars' btw it makes me feel like a rlly cool coffee shop owner :o

dancing queen - dean winchester/reader

a/n: hey look ! i've upgraded to titles !

cws: mild innuendos at the end

wc: 768

tags: humour, gender neutral reader (? they call themself feminine titles bc of the song but they/them pronouns are used)

"dude, seriously?" dean complained as the beginning notes of 'dancing queen' began from sam's phone. "abba!?"

sam rolled his eyes. "they're not bad."

"don't judge, dean," you said. "you can make an exception for dancing queen."

dean grumbled, but settled down at your reprimand. he muttered something sarcastic about this being a 'great soundtrack to kill vamps to', and you giggled at his consternation.

"you should learn to dig the dancing queen, dean," you told him, swaying to the beat and tapping his shoulder in an attempt to liven his mood.

"yeah, dean," sam parroted.

"the only thing i'll be digging is a grave," he deadpanned.

⌦ ---

you were fucked.

you were cornered by three vamps, after yelling at them to divert their attention from the boys to yourself. you felt kind of bad about raiding their nest, because you had learned that they were newly turned. but there was no use reasoning with them now. they wanted your blood.

which is why you were fucked.

sam and dean were looking at you with wide, panicked eyes from behind the three vampires, already having killed the two that were attacking them earlier. dean was still wiping blood off his face.

"uhm." you gulped nervously. “hi.”

your boyfriend and his brother skulked quietly behind, trying to avoid alerting the vamps to their presence a second time. them being them, though, it failed. dean tripped on sam's foot, and they both swore in unison. the monsters whirled around to glare at them, beginning to advance again.

"hey!" you barked at them. they half-turned towards you, as if considering who they should kill first. you needed a distraction so the boys could get away.

one problem, though: you couldn't think of a distraction.

"uhh, shit." you fumbled with your knife, as an idea popped into your mind. a ridiculous idea, but all the just dance you played as a kid had to be for something, right?

and so you began.. dancing. and singing. performing a whole show, really, because hearing sam's hippie music taste was bound to have that effect on people.

"youuu can dance, you can jiiive, having the time of your lii- shit, that's a tricky note - liiiife." you pointed at the vampires, moving your hips and swaying your arms in what you hoped was an accurate copy of the actual moves. you resolutely ignored sam's incredulous gaze and dean's loose jaw, continuing to channel your inner popstar.

"OOOH, see that girl!" you pointed to yourself and mimed an air guitar. okay, this was fun, ignoring the fact that you could die. it was like the dance competitions your parents used to enroll you in, just with judges that would rip you to shreds instead of giving you last place. maybe you should get back into dancing.

from behind the wall of confused vampires, you saw sam tugging dean's arm, murmuring to him about how they 'had to dip, right the fuck now'.

"i was already questioning how [name] agreed to date me, cause look at them, they were badass in that fight, but they can dance too? how awesome is that?" dean hissed back.

you bit back a laugh in favour of belting out the next note and doing the next move. "watch that scene, digging the dancing queen!" you freestyled that part, twirling around.

"yeah, dude, but we still gotta go." sam yanked dean's arm once more, dragging him out and forcing him into a run. you breathed a sigh of relief as they ran out the door.

"hope you enjoyed the show!" you said as you pulled your gun on the vampires, shooting them all in quick succession. you sprinted away, not bothering to check whether they were really dead or not.

when you saw the impala, you slowed to a walk, satisfied that there were no more bloodthirsty monsters chasing you.

dean and sam were engaged in what looked to be a one-sided conversation: dean rambling, and sam staring at his brother with half judgement, half love.

"sammy, i'm telling you, man. a fighter and a dancer?" dean shook his head. "i am one lucky man."

"you enjoy the show?" you asked them as you approached, a bit out of breath.

"hell yeah!" dean exclaimed, giving you a high five and a deep kiss. "that was so cool."

"does that mean you'll start digging the dancing queen?" you teased.

"only if you're the one dancing," he said.

you grinned. "oh, there is so much i could teach you. devil's tango, maybe?" you winked.

sam fake gagged. "okay, gross! i am never playing abba ever again!"

[eternalstateofoctober]

— 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔦 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔞 𝔟𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖞𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖙 𝖔𝖓𝖈𝖊 | AMC’s IWTV

also known as ”local woman is roused to learn editing to deliver everyone this fandom classic” (the video's synced better on desktop)

transcription/video description under the cut:

[video description: a fan video/edit of amc’s ”interview with the vampire” by tumblr user @eternalstateofoctober (me!!) set to a shortened version of lenka’s ”everything at once”. the video clips are cut to the rhythm of the song and its changing lyrics. the song is catchy and upbeat with a light, bouncy rhythm and a whimsical but also slightly melancholic vibe at times. it has a steady beat with repeating piano notes and some xylophone. the video clips are muted so only the song is playing, save for a few voiceover lines and sound effects.

(instrumental intro, repeating piano notes)

the théâtre des vampires orchestra starts playing and another member checks the projector. a watermark with the username @eternalstateofoctober flashes on screen and disappears at the same time as a projector light flickers.

🎵 as sly as a fox 🎵

two clips of daniel after the trial script reveal. first he tosses the script to louis, then he pushes his glasses up and casts a hard look at an off-screen armand.

🎵 as strong as an ox 🎵

armand uses the mind gift to make the coven fall asleep at the dinner table in 2x04, voiceover of him yelling ”enough!” angrily and banging the table. table settings clattering. then lestat using the mind gift at the trial to manipulate louis’ sentence. his left ear starts bleeding. VO lestat: ”banishment...”

🎵 as fast as a hare 🎵

louis sprints at daniel in ’73, making him stumble back.

🎵 as brave as a bear 🎵

clips of young daniel being tortured by armand. first he lifts his gaze, then there’s two clips of him being slammed down by armands powers. last clip is him closing his eyes while armand holds his face. VO of daniel’s grunts and whimpers.

🎵 as free as a bird 🎵

claudia on stage as baby lu mimes opening a window made of projections happily.

🎵 as neat as a word 🎵

claudia writes in her diary in season 1, the clip has a double exposure effect with her pen moving on the page.

🎵 as quiet as a mouse 🎵

a wide shot of the sewers the children of darkness inhabit.

🎵 as big as a house 🎵

establishing shot of the théâtre des vampires building. suddenly the screen flashes black and there’s a quick flickering shot of the talamasca logo on daniel’s laptop screen and a glitching sound effect.

🎵 as mean as a wolf 🎵

close-up of santiago on stage in 2x02, he looks right at the audience seductively.

🎵 as sharp as a tooth 🎵

shots of the vamps baring their fangs. lestat ripping the priests throat out in 1x01, claudia in madeleine’s shop, louis in ’73 showing off to daniel, armand hissing at lestat in 2x03.

🎵 as deep as a bite 🎵

extreme close-up of lestat biting louis at the altar.

🎵 as dark as the night 🎵

madeleine lights a candle that illuminates her face during a power outage. she’s watched from outside her shop window by a curious claudia.

🎵 as sweet as a song 🎵

young daniel embraces armand after armand has manipulated him to accept death. armand strokes his hair and there’s armand’s calm whisper as a voiceover: ”i’ll hold you…”

🎵 as right as a wrong 🎵

claudia’s real turning. lestat looks up from an off-screen louis who’s begging on his knees. in the second clip he’s kneeling next to claudia on the floor and lifting her upper body while louis’ back is still turned to them.

🎵 as long as a road 🎵

louis’ finger taps a spot on a map in the warzone.

🎵 as ugly as a toad 🎵

the vampire bruce cocking his head.

🎵 as pretty as a picture, hanging from a fixture 🎵

lestat’s portrait hangs on the wall in the théâtre’s green room in 2x02, jumpcut to it in flames in 2x08.

🎵 strong like a family 🎵

the de pointe du lac and frenière families pose for a portrait at grace’s wedding. the clip changes to the next with the camera’s flash going off.

🎵 strong as i wanna be 🎵

VO Madeleine: ”mais j'ai survécu.” (”but i survived” in french). shots of madeleine’s past, the trial by mob. extreme close-up of her crying face, the angry crowd surrounding her, her screaming while her hair is shorn. the segment ends with her throwing an iron through her shop window where a group of locals has just painted a swastika. sound effect of glass shattering.

🎵 bright as day, as light as play 🎵

madeleine’s vision of claudia as she’s turned. claudia in a yellow dress in madeleine’s shop, smiling to the camera—at madeleine—and turning to the mirror. the whole scene basks in warm, bright afternoon light.

🎵 as hard as nails 🎵

grace looks up at a slightly off-screen louis in 1x05, a hard, difficult look. they are at louis’ fake grave at night and grace is holding a funeral bouquet.

🎵 as grand as a whale 🎵

two clips after one another. first is louis being buried alive in 2x07, a silent scream as the rocks rush to cover his face. second one is his feet stepping onto the rocks in the penthouse’s sundial room. VO old daniel: ”where’s your coffin?”

(the music quiets and slows down slightly for the next line.)

🎵 as warm as the sun 🎵

close-up of claudia burning in the sun at the trial. she is turning into ash but still looks at an off-screen lestat.

🎵 as silly as fun 🎵

several clips in rapid succession. murder family laughing at a movie theatre, them dancing together—holding hands, claudia cheering riding the sidecar of a motorcycle in paris during the théâtre’s group hunting, armand smirking wearing malek’s glasses, vamp daniel’s tv interview, him laughing at the host.

🎵 as cool as a tree 🎵

real rashid steps slightly forward, hands clasped behind his back with a neutral expression.

🎵 as scary as the sea 🎵

two clips of armand in ’73. first his eyes shake as he slams daniel down with his powers in the background, then him turning slowly—eyes wide—to face daniel that’s sitting in front of him.

🎵 as hot as fire 🎵

three clips showing fire in the show. first: daciana throwing herself into the flames, second: armand’s fire gift, him looking at a flame in his hand, third: the théâtre’s fire starting behind louis as he looks into claudia’s mirror backstage. the mirror reads ”tweedily deedily dead”.

🎵 cold as ice 🎵

louis cuts off santiago’s head, louis smirking, looking down. VO: louis’ satisfied chuckle.

🎵 sweet as sugar and everything nice 🎵

VO louis and old daniel: ”would you like a sample?” ”i’m a savory man most days.” with first a clip of armand-as-rashid’s blissful expression as louis drinks from him at the dinner table in 1x05, then three clips of sweet treats: the strawberry dessert from 1x02 being set in front of daniel, daniel taking a bite of it, then young daniel sipping his grasshopper at mary’s. the clip ends with old daniel’s hand pushing his coffee cup forward, requesting a refill.

🎵 as old as time 🎵

armand stares at a painting depicting him in the louvre, eyes wide, brows slightly furrowed, head slightly turned.

🎵 as straight as a line 🎵

the recording on daniel’s laptop flatlining, him looking at armand, armand smiling warmly at him.

🎵 as royal as a queen 🎵

lestat basks in all his king raj mardi gras costume glory, he smiles widely up at the camera positioned above his head.

🎵 as buzzed as a bee 🎵

lestat on stage in 2x03, wiggling his shoulders, smiling playfully, flipping his coat tails up and bending over for the audience.

🎵 as stealth as a tiger 🎵

estelle and celeste spying on louis and claudia in paris.

🎵 smooth as a glider 🎵

armand floats up the louvre floors as louis and dreamstat take the stairs.

🎵 pure as a melody, pure as i wanna be 🎵

first, a shot of louis and paul dancing at grace’s wedding, smiling at each other. then, a close-up of paul sitting of the roof, turning to look at an off-screen louis as the screen slowly fades to black and another watermark appears. the voiceover is paul and louis’: ”i love you, louis.” ”i love you too, baby brother.”

/end video description]

[shefightslikeagirl]

Hobby Drama: Emilie Autumn's Asylum [Part 1]

u/pillowcase-of-eels posted a link to their fandom-and-EA-history write up to the r/EmilieAutumn Reddit, and I thought it would be a fun project to share! 2 out of 7 parts have been posted to r/HobbyDrama so far.

Picture this: it's the early 2010s, somewhere in the western world. Instagram is a novelty, Harvey Weinstein runs Hollywood, almost no one on Earth leans one way or the other about RNA vaccines, and Donald Trump is that one real estate guy you vaguely remember from Home Alone 2. New player Lady Gaga is the most interesting thing to have happened to pop since Madonna, and the whole industry is attempting to catch up; Miley Cyrus is the chick who used to be on Hannah Montana; Melanie Martinez hasn't hatched yet. The time of Oddball Concept Divas is dawning just below the horizon.

You're a Bowie-loving student who skipped goth night at the club to tag along with your art school friends for a very special evening. You're a giddy sixteen-year old rocking cat ears, purple Wet 'n Wild eyeliner, a polyester petticoat, and a coffin-shaped backpack. You're an effete theater kid who sewed his own waistcoat for the occasion, but won't dare wear it to school the next day. You're a buff, bearded dude in a Venom shirt who's trying not to look too excited, since your girlfriend supposedly had to drag you here. You're a slightly bemused parent leaning against the back wall of the venue, sipping a warm half-pint, wondering if this isn't all a bit dark for a tween. ("It's called 'Victoriandustrial', mom," you've been told in the car, "and it's not dark, it's art.")

On stage is a pink-haired woman, with red porcelain-doll lips and a heart painted on her cheek. Among a set of antique consoles, twee tchotchkes, teacups and plastic rats, she pounces and twirls in glittery platform boots, tattered striped stockings, and a tightly laced crystal-studded corset that looks like it's splattered in blood. This is ostensibly a concert, but there is no live band. Where one would expect a drum kit or a bass, three bedazzled burlesque vixens act as back-up singers and dancers, with the occasional vaudeville act a fire-twirling number, a fan dance, throwing pastries and spitting tea into the audience. Lots of wholesome girl-on-girl kissing, too. The music on the backing track is a genre-bender of clanging beats and beeps, lofty orchestral strings, and the frantic hammering of a MIDI harpsichord, as the pink-haired frontlady sings of heartache and betrayal and drowning. Think if the Brontë sisters had invented industrial rock.

The audience gasps in excitement when the lady whips out a vamped-out wireless electric violin. With rockstar cool and virtuoso poise, she leans into the instrument, touches the bow to the strings, and tears out a single plaintive, impeccably distorted high note. Then her fingers go wild, and for a few seconds, everything is perfect suspended animation. Uncannily perfect, almost. Just behind you, you hear someone whisper: "Wait, is she miming it?"

[nevadas-night-time-novelist]

Tricky with a mime!reader? Classic clown and mime but mime!reader has like actual mime powers. Tricky is confused but interested!

Oh this is so cute <3 i love clowns and mimes n stuff

Tricky x Mime!reader

Despite the world being a hellscape, there were pockets of quiet, times of peace tucked away in the briefest of moments, like now, for instance.

A small crowd had formed, a few of them tossing loose monies into your little donation box while you performed for them. A child was in the crowd, front and centre with awe in her eyes, it was incredibly rare to see one. The world just isn't safe enough for them.

Performing was such an art, movements so fluid, as though what you were doing was real, your spectators threw a little more monies as you pretended to get struck by lightning while flying a kite.

Shaking off the sparks in your system, you switched to something more calm for your final performance, it was getting late, and soon this peaceful area would be rife with vamps.

Bending down, you plucked a bouquet of flowers, deeply inhaling their scent, before turning and offering them to the child. She giggled, and reached out for the fake gift, but the moment it left your hands, it took on a physical form. She was holding a handful of varying white flowers, daisies, snowdrops, baby's breath, and a proud white rose in the middle.

Stars filled her eyes. "How'd you dO THAT?" She squealed, clinging tightly to the first flowers she'd seen ever.

A single gloved finger pressed to your lips and you winked at her, mime magic. Taking a bow, you began to mime packing away your things, in actuality putting away some very real items to you.

"KEEP GOING, CLOWN WAS HAVING FUN!" You dropped your money box, scattering a few loose coins and notes onto the ground. Turning to face what you hoped wasn't real, you locked eyes with the mangled zombie clown, shaking in his uncontrollable way as his body tried to get rid of the excess energy pooling from the drive in his brain.

Terror filled your veins, you shook your head, acting out a vampire creeping along, before biting you.

Tricky laughed, enjoying your performance. "CLOWN LOVES SEEING OTHER CLOWNS IN THE WILD. YOU'RE DIFFERENT TO CLOWN, BUT CLOWN LIKES IT." He drove his stop sign into the ground, sitting down crossed legged like a child, ready to watch and learn.

It was going to get very dangerous shortly, judging by the encroaching darkness, on the other hand, in front of you was arguably the biggest threat in Nevada.

You held a hand out, suddenly feeling your clothing get wet, and you pulled an umbrella from your bag, trying to keep yourself dry. Tricky laughed and clapped, he was having fun.

The rain soon stopped, and you picked another item to play with, a tiny tricycle which you struggled to get on, before wheeling around in a few circles, Tricky's laughter getting louder and ... slightly more human sounding, under the screeching chaos, a softer male laugh could be heard. Strange...

"DO THE FLOWER THING, CLOWN LIKED THAT!" He suddenly lunged forward, and you reflexively put your hands up, and Tricky slammed into the wall of your mime box. "OUCH! WHAT IS THIS??" His clawed hands patted on the hard surface.

You took a step back, and mimed being stuck in a box. "THOSE... ARE REAL WALLS???" He tilted his head to the left like a curious dog. "CAN YOU TEACH CLOWN TO DO THAT??" Shaking your head in reply, a firm no. Even if you could talk and tell him how you did it, you doubted it'd work.

"NOT FAIR, CLOWN WANTS TO DO THAT. CLOWN WOULD PUT HANK IN A BOX AND SHAKE HIM!" Tricky laughed again, his body shaking violently as his hysteric giggles took over. "CLOWN WOULD MAKE HANK A PULP!"

You carefully picked up your stuff, including the money you dropped, while Tricky was preoccupied. He was being just a little too unhinged for your liking right now, and it was getting dark fast, vamps would soon flood this area for an easy meal.

"DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO GO? CLOWN WANTS TO HANG OUT MORE." You nodded to him. "...CAN CLOWN SEE YOU AGAIN?" A smile crept over your face, and you nodded, gesturing around at the park, you'll be around here sometime.

"CLOWN LOOKS FORWARD TO IT! CLOWN LIKES OTHER CLOWN!"

Clown likes clown too.

[temporaklepticgalanty]

A Non-Comprehensive List of Classish Nouns

Aide, ape, arb, aunt, babe, bane, beast, berk, boss, bride, brute, chef, chief, chump, claus, clerk, clown, crone, crook, czar, dad, dame, dean, doll, don, drone, drunk, duke, dwarf, earl, elf, eye, fate, fiend, foe, fool, fop, fraud, freak, friend, geek, gent, ghoul, goth, goof, goon, grace, groom, guard, guest, guide, guy, hag, hand, king, knave, lass, lout, merc, mime, monk, nerd, nick, nun, nymph, orc/ork, pawn, pest, pet, pope, priest, prime, prof, psych, punk, queen, rabb (careful!), rep, rose, role, rook, saint, scourge, scout, scribe, scrooge, scrub, scum, self, serf, shaikh (&etc.), shill, shrink, slave, sleuth, slob, slut, sloan, smith, smick, smurf, smith, snitch, snob, snoop, son, soul, spawn, sprite, spouse, spy, stig, stirk, stooge, thing, thrall, throat, thrush, thug, tongue, tramp, tsar, twin, twink, twit, tyke, ump, vamp, voice, waif, ward, waste, wench, whale, whomst, whore, wisp, wife, wolf, womb, wraith, wright, you, youth.

Bolded items are those I feel are particularly potent. Italicized items are those I feel are particularly weak or otherwise humorous. For best effect, they should be conceived of in sets and not as individual exemplars.

[shopwitchvamp]

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[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep4 Musings - Loustat & Loumand

Ah crap. The ONE thing he really enjoys, and could probably get very good at--but he's stuck with garbage exposure and weak flash, cuz he can only take nighttime photos. U_U

UNHINGED. 😭😭😭 Lestat's become his best friend / supportive soundboard / feral golden retriever eating all his photos, omg. XD

Lou thinks the only right photos are of Lestat, I'm gonna be SICK. 😍 (Sam's accent was odd--he sounded less French??? Or am I tripping?)

Louis telling himself he needs to have more patience with the logistics of nocturnal life--and all that implies. So does that mean he wants to have more patience w/ the coven (& Armand) cuz he knows he can't hang out with humans like other artists do?

Lestat busting a gut every time Armand shows up is KILLING me. 🤣

The Time-Stop Gift is SO FREAKING cool; I love how they find these actors who can stay so still! Are they mimes or something!?

Louis loves himself a senior citizen; his husbands get older & older!

GET HIM, LOUIS!!! We ain't impressed! 😤 (Well, EYE am, ngl, but you stand your ground, Lou, that's right!)

Scared the mess outta me for a second, omg. 😅

Yeah, well, your coven sucks, Armand, so.

I disagree--I think that was the best, nastiest thing he could've done.

The next scene was so spicy I had to make a separate post for Armand's Backstory.

AMC.... Don't you effing dare.

That is a WILD fire hazard, omg--at least do that in the kitchen, Lou.

Before or after meeting Armand? I NEED ANSWERS, AMC!

LOUIS called Armand a manipulative gremlin!? 😂

Louis, you walk that back RIGHT NOW!

Yea, it was NUTS that Louis never told her that Armand was in on their secret.

Spilled like a leaky faucet, yes. U_U

To quote your beloved hallucinations: "Let me tell you a little something about 18th century Armand~!" 👀💀 Chile, lemme tell you about 18 MINUTES ago Armand, tossing Santiago around in public!

This could've been the running theme instead of Memory is a Monster. 😅 (I'm SHOCKED DreamStat has nothing to say from the peanut gallery. Seems he only shows up when Armand's around.)

Ouch.

CRAZY how Louis' already in like the 5th stage of grief, accepting DreamStat as some buddy ole pal. Walking in the park, chatting on park benches like they used to do back in NOLA. (But also accepting that he HAS to let DreamStat go, if he wants to survive in Paris & build something with Armand.)

He still thinks he's a "wh*re," doomed to be out cheating. U_U

WOW! So the night Les chased Jelly Roll Morton out of town was probably the night Lou realized he was REALLY in love, I reckon. U_U

Is that TRUE, or just what Louis wishes was true? (I bet it's true.) Les carried Lou's monogrammed hanky, daw. :3

MORE delusion--Louis, you couldn't even run your own family, let alone a pack of 14 Old World vamps who have ZERO reason to parlay with you--America is a totally different situation than Europe! The vamps out there are VICIOUS, cuz they INVENTED viciousness! Louis just gassed Armand up into thinking they had the upper hand, blissfully ignorant that Santiago just got ALL the dirt on him, smdh.

Ohhhh....THAT'S what Lou calls him in bed! 🤭 This is so touching & sweet, as Lou's like: You are ARUN, you're a PERSON, born with the human right to have hopes, dreams, desires, wants. Eff what Coven Master Armand & rentboy Amadeo did. What do YOU want, as ARUN? TABULA RASA. I love that for him! ❤

😲🤯

Armand calling Louis Maitre!? DADDY LOU IS BACK! 😈 That's right, you toss that lighter over your shoulder; you've MASTERED the Fire Gift! 🔥 (They grow up so fast~! 😭)

Armand wants to follow Lou's lead, let him take control. "I serve a God." Armand is TIRED of leading, he needs someone to follow; something to believe in. He always needs to have something he can devote his attention to--Lestat & Gabrielle read him for filth about this in several books; esp. Memnoch.

Cuz these are vamps; soul-sucking leeches. Loumand's codependent to a fault. Two vines wrapped so tight around e/o that they'll eventually strangle any life/vitality out of e/o--and you can see that toxicity bubbling to the surface in their huge argument at the end of the ep. They broke up in the books for a reason--Armand NEEDED to find himself (find ARUN, his human soul/identity), too. A coven's a poor substitute for a FAMILY, which he finally got with Sybelle & Benji, Daniel & Marius. This isn't even the tip of the iceberg--but it's a start. 👍

[skaianet-rituals]

Angelic/Demonic Hierarchy

Celestials/Gods/Demigods/etc...

Seraphim

Cherubim/cherubs/cupids

Thrones

Dominions

Virtues

Powers

Principalities

Exterminators

Archangels

Guardian angels

Undead-tier angels

Satan/Lucifer/the devil

Satan's kin

Satan's harem

Satan's court

Satan's army

Fallen angels

Tormentors/Reapers

Succubi/lovespawn

Vampires/vamps

Imps

Hellhounds

Sinners/undead-tier demons

Clowns/jesters/mimes

Furniture

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

A bit ill and emotionally distraught rn (over-studied amd wrecked myself, academia etc) so. here's some new spn finale thoughts

I've been convinced more or less Since Day One that Blurrywife is the final monster of spn, that she was the pointedly-never-otherwise-revealed head of the "vamp-mimes" nest, and that wherever Sam and Dean are, not only is it not "Jack's Heaven", it's not ANY heaven. While I do believe in the Chuck Won Theory (for reasons that are a whole other post unto themselves) re: Sam and Dean's endings in particular, the Faceless Woman Hovering Unsettlingly In The Corner always interested me more than possible divine intervention.

I have a pretty solid idea of what she is (ie, narratively, thematically and attack-style-wise, what kind of creature makes the most sense/is most interesting) and a few ideas, not really mutually exclusive either, about how she got ahold of Sam and Dean. But lately a certain one has seemed more compelling especially re: what Blurrywife's relation to Chuck is (if we are considering the Chuck Won theory to be true) because, well, she doesn't exactly strike me as a Heavenly entity.

...but do yall remember Becky? Crazy fangirl who tried to drug and r*pe Sam, but eventually actually got the help she needed, and had a family and a healthy life (while still being in the spn fandom and writing fic) (this show gets... so meta...) before Chuck sought her out as a sounding board for his clearly-the-actual-finale crappy ending. She hated it, he poofed her out of existence, its largely understood though never putright stated that "Jack" brought her back along with everyone else.

Now, I don't think Becky IS Blurrywife. I think Becky made a deal with something. Think about it. Assuming comes back, she has the criticial thinking skills to be just as sus about the whole "Jack Is God" thing as the fandom irl is. She has every reason to think that Chuck's bad ending is still coming for Sam and Dean- so what does she, as a supernatural fan within the supernatural universe, do? She makes a deal. Maybe not with a demon, but with a creature who promises some power over Sam and Dean's story. So, what do we know about what Becky wants for Sam and Dean?

-She writes "brother-focused" fanfic

-She most likely wants a happy ending, which most likely would include Sam & Dean being together forever

-Given when in the show she appears, she clearly had her heyday in the fandom during the in-universe book equivalent of the first 6 seasons

-At least at one point, she was romantically and sexually obsessed with Sam to the point of trying to force him to marry her

So, knowing that anything offering a "Deal" in spn is giving you a Monkey's Paw situation at best and just flat out killing you/the person you want to protect at worst. If, right after she's returned to life/existence in 15x19, Becky makes a deal with some entity to give Sam & Dean (not Cas or Jack or anyone else, JUST Sam & Dean) a "happy ending" or "good ending".... especially if part of that deal is Becky sharing her knowledge of Sam & Dean with that entity....

(now, there actually IS a creature that fits this whole description exactly, AND!!! is an Irish creature often described as Banshee-Adjacent. That leads into another read of Blurrywife that I think does good things for spn's narrative, which is that, in a reversal of the usual "Sam's Dead Girlfriends" dynamics, Blurrywife is one of Eileen's longterm hunts who essentially lays a trap for Sam (Dean is absolutely just collateral damage in this case) to get at Eileen, in the same was Sam's longer-term opponents would go after his romantic relationships)

also TO BE CLEAR, this is not me blaming Becky in-canon/blaming "Bibros" or whatever on a meta level for the finale. In-canon, this theory has Becky acting out of nothing but genuine care and concern for Sam & Dean, yet sadly meeting the fate of all those who make deals in spn, likely dying herself while her actions unwittingly set up the very "bad ending" she was trying to prevent. On a meta level, similarly, I do think that the view of spn held by "Bibros" was largely taken out of context and distorted by The CW/certain spn writers to kinda-justify their utter pile-of-shit finale.

[mothmans-wedding-photographer]

Mothman's Buffy rewatch: Season 4, episodes 1, 2, and 3, "The Freshman", "Living Conditions", and "The Harsh Light of Day"

The Freshman

"Do you have to be nowned first?"

Ok if she's renowned and living in Sunnydale she's probably evil

The fucking vampire in the background

He's like aw shit this is the slayer

Why aren't they rooming together? Is it too expensive to like request who you want to be with?

Girl why are you saying it like that

Nice library

"This store discriminates against short people"

RILEY?????

"I'm sorry I've forgotten my manners in all the concussion"

Is the roommate evil? I think she is idk I don't remember it that well

Girl you're already unpacking on the left side

CELINE DION WAIT MY PARENTS WERE LITERALLY JUST TALKING ABOUT HER what a coincidence

Damn okay

The evil bitch monster of death I'm crying

It's PEDRO PASCAL

What was the book about then?

Mr. Pointy mentioned!!

Pedro gets vamped

Is this Gloria or whatever her name is

Ok this girl is an icon actually

Oh that's awkward

"Because you're very very old, and it's gross" real

Giles do your job!! Oh wait he got fired

Idk maybe he could have warned her he wasn't going to do as much

Bro did not last long as a vampire

Monster sarcasm rally describes a lot of these fights

Shit her arm

See I couldn't take my chances getting a dorm in college because what if my roommate snores

Girl she filled her room with crates 😭😭

Can't even sleep in her own bed :(

How did her arm heal faster than the bruise on her face

I'd be so pissed all my stuff was gone

Nice to see Xander

Oh that's great his engine fell out

Oh his parents are making him pay rent

"Once more with even less feeling" is that a Buffy reference??? (This is a joke in case it wasn't clear)

Aww wait sweet

Ruined the moment Xander

NOO MR. GORDO

Oh shit her diary

Well this is going badly for Buffy

I LOVE HER SHES SO SARCASTIC

"But statistically speaking-" PUNCH

Yeah the circumstances was that her mom kicked her out

"Do we hug?" "I think we're too manly"

"Her friends who sleep all day and have no tans"

That's so mean :( her class protector umbrella

Oof close range

"Let me answer that question with a headbutt" - my cat

"SCENE FROM THE INTRO"

Ok so that is definitely not Glory lmaooo I thought I remembered her with curlier hair

Lol Giles I'm glad he's come around to help her

Living Conditions

I forgot to write anything down for the intro

She's ironing her jeans?

The roommate is so passive aggressive

"Wish me monsters"

Oh he looks like he has skin problems

Oh it's Kathy oh no

I feel like her shoving Kathy was mildly cathartic

My dad really did not want to watch this episode because he hates the earwormy song but I really didn't want to skip and episode so he's just got his earbuds in

Snooper :/ get away from Buffys stuff

Everyone's ignoring Xander's horrible parents

The buffinator sounds like something Doofenshmirtz invented. To make you muscular or something

Buffy wants to hurt her so bad

THE ZOOM IN ON HER FACE SIDBJEMS

I'm sure Willow would much prefer Kathy to her party room

THE EGGS BEING LABELED

Is the demon sucking her soul out or smth

I love Oz "I'm a good guesser"

Kathy is such a massive hypocrite

Buffy that's so gross but also yeah get her ass

I LOVE OZ!!!!

Bro got the werewolf vibes

"Nobody deserves mime Buffy"

Buffy looks so forlorn when Oz said she's scaring away demons

Ew toenail clippings

Jebbeisbekneoe Buffy I don't think she's that bad

SJSNWKSBDOEJ THE NET

"Not yet but it will" IM CRYING

"She irons her jeans, she's evil!"

Girl that's a wild thing to say about a woman who's mostly just been awkward to you until you started being mean

"Shhh, don't engage"

Girl said bonk

THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

Well she was actually evil. Kind of disappointing I wanted Buffy to be wrong for once

THE GUY RISING FROM THE GRAVE ISLSBSJWNSE

Girl left demonville to go to college that's crazy

"Why couldn't Giles have shackles like any self-respecting bachelor?" Crying

Threw her out a window 😭

Uno reverse

THE HOLE IN THE FLOOR

Kinda feel bad for her, just wanted an education. She was really insufferable though

Awww they got to move in together

It's okay Buffy that shit would piss me off too

The Harsh Light of Day

Oz vibing on the guitar

Is Parker evil?  Genuinely don't remember my memory of Buffy, especially in the later seasons, in pretty spotty

I'm pretty sure Harmony is a vampire rn (that's why she didn't go to France)

"Big snake" quite

YEP she's a vamp

Oz with the tiny little cross

Parker seems nice but he's not gonna have enough cool factor to keep up with her other love interests. Genuinely think it would be healthy than all of her other options, but more boring

ANYA YIPPEE

"Go away" this is his house girl

Eco-friendly wood veneer mentioned

SPIKE IS HER BOYFRIEND???

I think it would be nice if Spike didn't want to kill Willow because he held over some nice feelings from that time he kidnapped her

Harmony complaining is sending me like girl shut up

Can't believe he would settle for her maybe that breakup with Dru is still fucking him up

LOL SHE HIT HIM WHERE IT HURT

LEFT HIM FOR A FUNGUS DEMON IM CRYING

I love the disco ball

ANYA GIRL

The juice box didboandoesm

Why can't she turn him Spike?

Oh my

"Still more romantic than Faith" wild

Foreshadowing (or maybe not idk if Spike was going to date Buffy at this point)

I do not think Buffy is a lucky one

Man you don't ask for consent after doing the thing 😭😭

Everyone's having sex this episode good for them

Xander looks so lost lmao

SHES WRITING ON SPIKE'S BACK Spike hates her so much

"I don't know why i let you be so mean to me" :(

Parker you asshole

Funky bug amulet

Spike just tried to kill her this man sucks

He's using the same dad shtick on everyone 😭

Oh brother this guy stinks

Spike jumpscare

I think Anya needed to be told no like that. And it's a good character moment for Xander

This is like the reverse of when he gets that chip put in his head

Get his ass !!!!

Womp womp Spike

Aww that's nice Oz

Girl you deserve better than him

[selvrse]

a doodle of @estervanzie 's vamp mime oc ( ft. a redesigned rhett, my oc )

inspo / based off :

[hvnbrn]

@velvetineblue ˚ ༘ ♡ ⋆ ｡˚ continued from here

the pout furthers, gloss slick lips curling downwards in time with furrowed brows. the probability of the slayer getting everything he wanted in the next five minutes was becoming starkly larger by the second. " i wasn't going to suggest that at all. " in fact, a different equally slated trashy show had been on the tip of his tongue instead. but he stills for a moment, taking in the facts of the situation the pair had found themselves in ...

first - they're in some sort of mausoleum or crypt, with very limited light straying in from the crack in the stone covered doorway. it seems, from first glance, the way they'd managed to get in was no longer a viable way out. blocked intentionally, or perhaps unintentionally, during a fight that had taken place involving the slayer shortly before.

second - daesung had followed more than one figure inside, but the fight that ended with him thrown against a stone cold wall, only involved one unfriendly vampire.

third - taiyang had appeared at his side moments before the entry way the vampire came through crumbled, which could only suggest ... " there must be another way out, or in. i didn't see the vamp leave, and our easy exit crumbled behind you ... " so he considers a different plan.

" im looking pretty right? you think i could just walk into a maybe vamp lair and turn heads? and then you turn 'em further, you know ... like -- " he mimes snapping a neck, complete with tongue click for emphasis. " or not ... have you got a better plan? i'm all ears. "