#vaggie (ram)

[randomly--accessed--memories]

did some height comparison stuff because i was curious about vox and niffty's height difference and then got carried away

[redladydeath]

Okay, so I’m having thoughts about your Vox mindbreak au, again.

Specifically, I’m thinking about how Val and Vel definitely do their damndest to give Vox some semblance of quality of life at the tower. He’s always got something to fiddle with and I imagine he gets a little memory notebook he can keep in his pocket with immediately accessible info about where he is, who Val and Vel are, and other basic stuff.

And of course, all that is gone when Alastor comes and whisks Vox away to the stupid hotel.

Basically, Alastor gets the honor of essentially ruining Vox’s life twice, how fun.

Ahhhhh, you’re breaking my heart

Val and Velvette are in such a bind. Vox always wants technology or electronics to fiddle with, but given his powers, it’s so risky to give him something like that; if he decides to zap through it, there’s no telling where he might end up. They basically have to remodel large portions of the tower to be an open circuit in order to keep him safe, which is incredibly inconvenient for them given their businesses. They do it anyway though.

The notebook is such a heartbreaking concept, especially for Velvette. She remembers how, in the old days, her and Vox would both balk at the idea of using pen and paper over their phones to take notes. Now it’s the only viable option, both in terms of safety and the fact that, most of the time, Vox can’t remember how to operate a cellphone.

Alastor usually finds Vox’s situation funny and endearing, but he just doesn’t have the patience for him that Val and Velvette do. He'll sometimes give him blatantly wrong information when he asks for help, just to see what he’ll do. Charlie is oblivious to the whole thing, but Vaggie slowly starts to put together that maybe not all of Vox’s little freakouts and delusions occur purely without prompting.

[voxaholic]

I don’t know if I’m ever going to finish this so have this little piece of a “Charlie Finds Out About The Truth” fic I started to write for the @randomly--accessed--memories au.

[deadghosy]

“MOM/DAD! LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!”:

Charlie:

You were about to jump off a shelf wanting to fly

“SWEETIE NO!-”

Lucifer:

You were in demon form trying to burn something as it was flammable enough to burn the palace down.

“Duckling, no….WAIT STOP-”

Vaggie:

You were holding a demon raccoon ready to teach it a trick when it was going to bite you.

“Fuckkk no…hehe no.” (Grabs you quickly from raccoon)

Husk:

You wanted to impress him with bartender skills you saw off of the tv but you failed making beer liquid fall on you.

*sighs* “alright kiddo, time for a bath.” (He grumbles as you stand behind him while he starts the bath.)

Angel dust:

You were trying to dance but fell on your butt.

(Snickers) “hon, that was amazing..”

Adam:

You were flying as you ram into a wall

(Laughs holding phone) “PFTT HOLY SHIT KID!”

Alastor:

You showed him how your shadow counterpart could lift you up and make it look like you can fly.

“What an amazing show my little doe!”

Pentious: (claps happily with his egg boiz)

You were showing him that you juggle his egg boiz as Frank was on your head

Lute: (she’s not even looking until she hears you sniffle)

[jollmaster]

redesign trivia: Asmodeus

the youngest among the Sins, only a little older than king Solomon

quarter demon (his mother, Agrat bat Mahlat, is a half-breed; his father is famous king David), and de facto Lucifer's stepson

tall, strong, very similar to mother

bird-footed and snake-tailed; two pairs of horns, bull's and ram's

tattered shirt and shoulder pads which repeat animalistic motif

the embodiment of chaos, a demon of hatred, destruction, revenge and violence, including random sexual violence

an archaic monster who doesn't accept the concepts of creation, love, concent, faith and harmony

if Asmodeus can take something, who are you to forbid this?

it's so ironic that his mother is the one who punishes rapists and perverts

the only people Asmodeus genuinely patronizes are single childless warriors and warlords

CHARLIE'S GANG: Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Niffty, sir Pentious (and egg boiz), Cherri Bomb, Husk, Alastor (+ gang as humans)

HEAVEN: Adam, Eve, Lute, Emily, Sera

ADAM AND EVE'S CHILDREN: Cain, Abel, Seth, Awan, Azura

HELL: Lilith, Lucifer, Seviathan, Helsa, Razzle and Dazzle, Baxter

SINS: Beelzebub [Gluttony], Satan [Wrath], Mammon [Greed] (and Fizz), Belphegor [Sloth]

LUCIFER'S WIVES: Eisheth Zenunim, Naamah, Agrat bat Mahlat

VEES: Vox, Valentino, Velvette

OVERLORDS: Zestial, Rosie, Carmilla Carmine (and her daughters, Odette and Clara), Flaming Skull Guy

FRIENDS AND RELATIVES: Mimzy, Arackniss, Molly, Alastor's mom, Alastor's father

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

angst angst angst. sudden surprise attack on the hotel and follow up in heaven

Charlie: “-Husk! I can’t find- her- where-”

Husk: “I’ve no FUCKING clue!”

Charlie: “She was right here! She was right next to me-! Cherri- ANGEL!”

Husk: “Fuck!”

Charlie: “-are you okay? Vaggie, is she with-”

Husk: “YOU FUCKING MORON I thought that Lute bitch had KILLED YOU!”

Angel Dust: “She was gonna. V girl got in the way.”

Charlie: “Vaggie stopped her? She’s- with you?”

Angel Dust: “She stopped the sword, not her. I didn’t see, I don’t know where she is. It hit her.”

Charlie: “Where-”

Angel Dust: “I don’t know where it hit! There was fucking angel blood all over!”

Charlie: “-where was- where is she?”

Angel Dust: “I DON’T KNOW! FUCK YOU I DON’T KNOW!”

Charlie: “You were there you HAVE to know!”

Husk: “Did she go down?”

Charlie: “NO! No she wouldn’t have-”

Husk: “Baby just say what you saw.”

Charlie: “She’s better than Lute- she’s a better fighter, she already beat her, she’s can’t-” 

Angel Dust: “-she was pissed and bleeding and they both had wings out! The exorcist bitches were swarming everywhere- That’s all I saw! The fuck do you WANT from me?? Other shit was happening too!”

Cherri Bomb: “Chill, we’ll find her. There’s a massive angel spatter just a bit further back, like ten feet from where I found you, maybe-”

Charlie: “Vaggie! VAGGIE PLEASE- please where are you!?”

Husk: “Fuck- You, don’t move. Just stay here-”

Angel Dust: “Not a FUCKING chance.”

Cherri Bomb: “I’ll crutch him over, go help Charlie-”

Charlie: “Why isn’t she here?”

Husk: “Oh… shit that’s so much blood…”

Angel Dust: “The Lute bitch deserves to’ve lost every bit it.”

Charlie: “She’s not here!”

Cherri Bomb: “That’s good. No body is good. They would’ve left it for us to find if they'd- it’s fine if she’s missing. She probably just, wandered off somewhere.”

Husk: “If half of this shit is her blood then she didn’t go fucking far.”

Charlie: “She wouldn’t just leave. S-she’d check on me, on us, she’d make sure I was okay first!”

Angel Dust: “Maybe ain't dead. Maybe she got took.”

Charlie: “…what..?”

Husk: “Took?”

Angel Dust: “Taken back. Like, UP.”

Cherri Bomb: “Angie, heaven kills people, they don’t grab ‘em like toys in a claw game-”

Angel Dust: “Well what ELSE were they here for, huh!?”   

Cherri Bomb: “But they-... they were…”

Angel Dust: “Not tearing into the hotel, not purging the city. Not killing ME, afterwards, once she took the bait and she took the fucking hit for me. I was a sittin' duck with no weapons and they let me run.”

Husk: “Why? They don’t fucking want her, they fucking put her down here, why-”

Cherri Bomb: “-look at Charlie.”

Husk: “The fuck does that mean-”

Cherri Bomb: “Look at the fucking PRINCESS OF HELL you stupid assfuck!”

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: “… they left her ribbon.”

Charlie: “…her spear…”

Charlie: “…and.”

Husk: “Oh fuck no.”

Angel Dust: “Is that- an EYE!?”

Charlie: “Her eye.”

Cherri Bomb: “-shit. SHIT.”

Angel Dust: “But she already only had the one! If they used, if it’s- for real- does that, is she-?”

Charlie: “…”

Charlie: “If they took her then she’s alive. She’ll be okay. She’ll be okay…”

Charlie: “…Husk. Find Alastor and Niffty. Carmilla, Rosie, the Vees- all the Overlords. Bring them here-"

Charlie: "-no. To the clocktower. Heaven’s embassy. Have them meet me there.”

Husk: “How the fuck? You don’t just order Overlords around-”

Charlie: “Tell them if they don’t come I’ll ram my burning pitchfork through their chests and twist their ribs open until enough of their guts spill out for me to grab and drag them there with.”

Husk: “They’ll call your bluff-”

Cherri Bomb: “She’s not bluffing.”

Husk: “Of COURSE she’s fucking bluffing-”

Cherri Bomb: “Warn the Overlords about how heaven took her girl but left her girl's eye and see what THEY think.”

Husk: “… clocktower. When?”

Charlie: “One hour or however long fighting my dad for the throne of hell takes.”

Husk: “Done.”

Angel Dust: “Whoa whoa, what’s with the sudden coup of the kingdom energy!? Fight ya dad? Couldn’t ya just ask his help-”

Charlie: “He’s been bound- he CAN’T attack heaven even if he wanted to. Neither can anyone else here while he’s king.”

Cherri Bomb: “That’s shit.”

Angel Dust: “Well then just ask to be hell king!”

Charlie: “And risk asking for the binding too?”

Angel Dust: “YOU didn’t make the deal-”

Charlie: “If he gives it up willingly and I accept, isn’t that a deal? That’s me, agreeing to what he had- But not if I make it mine. If I use force and rip it from him…”

Angel Dust: “By fighting? For REAL? He’s your fucking family!”

Charlie: “AND SHE ISN’T?”

Angel Dust: “So what- Ya gonna just surprise jump your dad and beat his ass!?”

Charlie: “Yes.”

Cherri Bomb: “No way it’s that easy. You’ll need help-”

Charlie: “I’ve got Vaggie’s spear. That’s enough.”

Angel Dust: “The hell it is!”

Charlie: “He wasn’t born of hell and I am. Even ignoring the Sins, it’s always wanted me more than him anyway.”

Cherri Bomb: “Wh- it’s wanted you? IT?”

Angel Dust: “For fucks sake sure fine hell’s alive who gives a shit-"

Angel Dust: "Think about what VAGGIE would fucking want! Cause it sure wouldn’t be fucking THIS!”

Charlie: “I can’t ask her what she wants until I have her back.”

Angel Dust: “Bitch if you get hurt or killed she’ll never fucking forgive herself!”

Charlie: “I don’t care.”

Angel Dust: “But- but heaven’s not gonna fight fair- ya try this an’ they’ll use her as hostage-”

Cherri Bomb: “It’s a point. What if they put a sword to her throat?”

Charlie: “I’ll rip theirs out first.”

Angel Dust: “… ya… ya won’t…”

Charlie: “Watch the hotel. Don’t move any furniture. She’ll need everything exactly where she remembers it, when she gets home.”

Cherri Bomb: “Got it.

Angel Dust: “Charlie… What’re you doin’?”

Charlie: “Raising hell.”

-HEAVEN- - the beach-

Lute: “Your plan has gone to shit.”

Lilith: (reading) “Has it.”

Lute: “You said this would muzzle her, we’d have her under control.”

Lilith: (flips page) “And isn’t she?”

Lute: “NO. Your whore bitch daughter is-"

Lute: "-hhHHHRK!”

Lilith: “Her.”

Lilith: “Name.”

Lute: “…cchHhARLiE…mORnINgsssTAR..”

Lilith: (releases lute)

Lilith: “Go on.”

Lute: “….she’s burning her way up here.”

Lilith: “Like mother, I suppose.”

Lute: “She has an army.”

Lilith: “Of course she does. We singers love an audience.”

Lute: “She’s shrieking blasphemy and waging war on Heaven!”

Lilith: (back to reading) “Isn’t that what you wanted.”

Lute: “What I wanted?”

Lilith: “Blood and death and pain and suffering....”

Lute: “Down in HELL, damn you! Where it BELONGS!”

Lilith: “And yet you brought my daughter’s partner up here half dead and fully blind.”

Lute: “As she deserves.”

Lilith: “Your brought hell past the pearly gates first, Lute. You invited it here. Heaven has bloodstains now because of you.”

Lute: “It was YOUR plan- YOU said to go get her! How else did you think we were bringing her!?”

Lilith: “Exactly like this.”

Lute: “…..”

Lute: “You… vile, two-faced snake… you wanted this. The defiance of Hell, war at Heaven’s door-”

Lilith: “I couldn’t care less.”

Lute: “LIES!”

Lilith: “We made a deal, little exorcist. Control. My daughter is acting exactly according to your own doing, the hell she is unleashing is your work as much as hers, yours to fight and triumph over while decimating hell to your heart’s content.”

Lute: "I-"

Lilith: “You can be a hero. You can show everyone you were right all along. A chance to empty hell. Adam’s dream come true.... And how proud he would be, if he were still here to see it.”

Lute: “…”

Lilith: "Unless… the soldiers of Heaven might not be up to that…?”

Lute: “...Your demon spawn won’t fall like her traitor father did. She will be- stop squirming, filth-! She’ll be thrown.”

Lilith: “A child often outshines their parents.”

Lute: “Or is burnt to ash. As their parents should have been.”

Lilith: “Too late for that.”

Lute: “We’ll see.”

Lilith: (flips page)

Lilith: “…Lute.”

Lute: “What, Lilith.”

Lilith: “Are you so afraid of losing that you need to drag a broken woman around as a shield?”

Lute: “A shield? No. An example.”

Lilith: “She already is that. As much as she can be, with so little left of her.”

Lute: “Pathetic, isn’t she? And an example for hell this time.”

Lilith: “They’ve seen worse than this each morning.”

Lute: “Oh but I’m far better than they are. I’m no mere sinner- I think I’ll show your daughter a little act of heavenly mercy.”

Lilith: “Is that what you call it when you kill.”

Lute: “This time death really is a mercy, don’t you think? I SAID STOP SQUIRMING!”

Lilith: “Your example doesn’t seem to agree.”

Lute: “Her mistake.”

Lilith: “Yours as well. Your own happily little mistake. Failing to kill her worked out well for you in the end, didn’t it?"

Lute: "I made it work."

Lilith: "You should thank her.”

Lute: “Thank the filth for what?”

Lilith: “For sparing your life. Proving the stronger fighter. Living long enough for this to happen. Loving and being loved enough to inspire a war between heaven and hell."

Lilith: (flips page) "Take your pick.”

Lute: “….I’ll see you after I’m done wiping out your people, Lilith, treacherous Queen of hell- and I’ll tell your daughter who’s idea this all was while I’m at it.”

Lilith: “Give her my love as well.”

Lute: “I’ll carve it on this filth’s chest for her to read while she wails over the corpse!”

Lilith: “If you like. Goodbye, little exorcist.”

Lute: “Bye bitch.”

Lilith: “…”

Lilith: “… and may they finally be as merciful to you, as you have been with them.”

Lilith: (smiles)

Lilith: (goes back to adding a new chapter to The Story of Hell)

[calamarikitty]

Hazbin Hotel Redesigns - Part One!

brainworms told me to hyperfixate on hazbin hotel and i did. so here are some redesigns! i'm planning on doing all of the cast, starting with the big (little) guy of hell himself, charlie, and vaggie! next is going to be the hotel staff (niffty, alastor, and husk)! individual pngs and redesign notes under cut

Lucifer Morningstar - He/him, trans man, bisexual he has goat hooves, horns, and ears, as well as a little goatee:-) his tail is a lions, since lions symbolize jesus, royalty, and also are a little nod to pride.

he doesn't keep his wings after he falls from heaven. i know he has his wings in the og show, but i never understood why. he lost his wings in the fall and still has feather growth, but they turn into these weird malformed lumps of flesh and feather instead of actual wings. they're quite itchy and uncomfortable for him.

longer hair, for fun! as well as lots of apple motifs. he has little lines coming from his lips like a ventriloquist doll or puppet. i've seen it in a lot of charlie and lucifer redesigns and i think it's super cool.

he wears pretty fancy clothes but doesn't go overboard with it, as he doesn't particularly like his royal status.

he has a special interest in toy making and is specifically hyperfixated on rubber ducks! he's able to use toy making as a creative outlet to distract himself.

no shoes cuz he has sensory issues and shoes made for hooves don't seem comfortable!!!

still wears his wedding ring even though there hasn't been any sign of lilith for years

Charlotte 'Charlie' Morningstar - She/her, cis woman, bisexual she also has goat hooves and ears, but unlike her father, she has horns more reminiscent of a ram's, much like her mother's horns. her tail is more of a classic imp shape, since she is a hellborn demon and not a fallen angel like her father.

the bottom of her pigtails are meant to resemble angel wings! she's a little piece of heaven in hell:-)

i didn't change her outfit too much, but i did want to add things to it to make it stand out more. she has gold details like her dad, as well as a bowtie with an eye detail to nod to biblically accurate angels.

she has the ventriloquist mouth like her dad! in general, she also looks more like her dad than her mom.

Vaggie - She/her, intersex, lesbian SHE DESERVED A MORE PURPLEY COLOR PALETTE!! purple is definitely her color.

i changed her body type a lot in this redesign, i think it makes more sense for her to be buffer, because of her history.

she's not a moth demon, but disguises as one to blend in, since most sinners have animal motifs.

fur collar and fur leg warmers because i think they're really fun. i also think she's most definitely a pencil skirt + combat boots girl.

i actually do kind of like the X on her hair in her og design, but i wanted to make it look less?? plastered on?? since in her og design i genuinely can't tell if it's meant to be part of her hair or not.

she has a big bow like her og design, but it's meant to be reminiscent of moth antenna. it also adds to her biblical angel silhouette! another eye detail on her chest, like charlie, to nod to angels. this nod is particularly relevant considering her past!

[into-the-hellaverse]

Adam's Bad Day

Commission for @libby-for-life !

Yeah, that's right! I take commissions! Pages are on my main blog @asmerlotus ! Reach out for a commission!

Sorry if the formatting is fucked. I'm on mobile.

-------------------------

Adam stared at the destruction, unable to process what had happened. The night before, he had gone to his tiny fucking hotel room, gotten into his uncomfy bed, and prayed to God that if he was good and merciful (and he was. Adam met that fucker 30 times before. He fistbumped the man, damn it!) then this whole stupid ordeal with Cameron would blow over. He had rammed the idea into his thick skull the night before that if he kept trying to pull this shit and get him kicked out of the hotel, he was going to rock his shit to Second Hell. That place had the real fire and brimstone.

But here he was, standing in the hotel lobby, looking around at the wreckage. Chairs were broken, the carpet torn to shreds, the front desk was in pieces. Husk was crying, literally crying, over his bar, which honestly didn’t look like a bar. Broken glass, dried liquor, and the bar counter, like everything else, torn to pieces.

And the pièce de résistance? Gold graffiti, everywhere. There were golden dicks everywhere, the exterminator symbol on the front door, the large paintings of the Morningstar family had childish doodles like mustaches and “LOƧER” spray painted right on Baby Charlie’s forehead. And to top it all off, in a large empty section of the wall, were the words “ADAM WAZ HERE”, perfect to incriminate him in every way.

Adam stood in the middle of the wreckage, feeling his heart drop to his stomach. Cameron had really outdid himself this time. What did that fucker have against him? He turned around to see the snake sinner just smiling, and all Adam could do was start to cry. Silent tears dripped down as he finally paid attention to everyone else.

Husk was still crying over his bar, sobbing to Angel something about a Glen McKenna 50 year he had been saving. Nifty was practically having an orgasm, squealing about everything she could clean. Alastor just smiled his usual grin, shaking his head and looking at the destruction around them. Lucifer and Vaggie were both trying to comfort Charlie who was…quiet… Charlie was loud when she was happy. She was loud when she was angry. She was loud when she was sad. She always had these big, loud emotions over anything in question. Being quiet was never good.

She turned around and walked through the piles of carnage, giving Adam the coldest stare he had ever seen. She stopped two feet away, and it kinda clicked in his head how much smaller Charlie was compared to him. She barely met his chest. So tiny, so full of rage…

“Adam,” she said, unnaturally calm. “I want to help you. I really do. But this-” She paused and gestured to the lobby. “Has crossed so many lines. I have treated you with kindness, compassion, generosity, trust, and respect. And this… this is what you do with it… I want you out of here by tonight. No excuses, no exceptions…” She turned and walked up the stairs, followed quickly by Vaggie.

Everyone glared at Adam (except Nifty, who would probably kiss his feet for the mess). Adam just stared. He felt so small. He hadn’t felt this way since he was punished back in Eden. Small, helpless, defenseless, weak… He wanted to die again. He wanted to say something, to explain what was going on, prove to them he wasn’t to blame. He caught the gaze of Lucifer, who seemed sympathetic and upset.

“Lucifer, please,” he said as he rushed over. “I didn’t do this.”

Lucifer said nothing and walked away.

“Luci, babe, please!” Adam begged. “It wasn’t me! It was Cam-”

“Cameron this, Cameron that.” Lucifer turned around, the look in his eyes just as cold as his daughter’s. “You always pass the blame onto him and he has never done anything wrong. When will you own up to your actions?”

“Luci, I-"

“I don’t want to hear it,” Lucifer cut him off.

“Luci!"

“Don’t call me that. You lost that privilege when you destroyed my daughter’s hard work…” He turned and started walking away.

“Lucifer…” His voice was so quiet, it was like it was gone forever.

“Whatever we had before, Adam, is gone. I don’t care if you’re sorry. You still destroyed the hotel, and you destroyed my trust. Charlie wants you out by tonight. But I want you out by noon. Out of the hotel and out of my life.” And Lucifer finally walked away.

Adm just stood there, feeling everything inside him break into a million pieces. He had lost his only home in this shithole, his new family, and his sorta boyfriend in the span of minutes. Because of him…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam stared at his bag, his one tiny bag of belongings, as the morning’s events played over and over in his mind. He didn't want to do this. He wanted to explain himself. He wanted to earn back their trust. He wanted to beg and plead to Charlie fucking Morningstar of all people to let him stay. But it just…didn’t seem possible anymore… He sighed and picked up his bag, noticing it was two in the afternoon. Lucifer would be pissed, but did he care at the point? He sighed and left the room, leaving the old fashioned key in the lock as he trudged down like it was a death sentence. He looked around the lobby, seeing it in perfect pristine condition. Nifty and Alastor probably worked some weirdass magic to get it looking right.

He sighed, taking one last look around. Husk was at his bar with Angel, almost fully restored. They found some leftover liquor in the cellar to stock the shelves while they waited to get more in.

Alastor and Vaggie were manning the front desk like usual, bored out of their minds. They both caught Adam’s glance and looked away sheepishly.

Charlie was in the sitting area with Lucifer, talking to Cameron and looking very upset. Lucifer caught his gaze and seemed to perk up. “Adam!” He called out, getting out of his seat and rushing over. Adam just glared and walked faster to the door.

“Adam!”

He walked faster.

“ADAM!”

He started to run.

Lucifer ran in front of him and stopped him a few feet from the door. “Adam! Wait!"

Adam tried to hold back tears, expecting an onslaught of insults once again. “What?”

“Adam, I… I’m sorry…”

Adam scoffed. “Sorry? You think sorry is going to fix this?"

“N-No! But… Cameron told us everything…” Lucifer looked so guilty, it was almost like he was the one who framed Adam.

“And?”

“And he told us he was behind it. He said something about how his plan worked and Charlie made him spill,” Lucifer explained. “Breaking the chandelier, setting Angel on fire, tashing the yard, setting Alastor on fire, setting Nifty on fire, setting Vaggie’s hair on fire… He set a lot of things on fire- But that’s not the point! The point is… He admitted to everything, and we want you to stay…”

Adam just stared. “And?"

“And… And what? I can’t read minds, Adam. Believe me, I tried,” Lucifer said.

“And what are you going to do with him? You thought I did all of that and you kicked me out,” Adam explained, trying to hide his rage. “He’s the one who did everything and blamed it on me. Are you going to kick him out?”

“I… Well…”

“It’s a fucking yes or no, Lucifer.”

Lucifer just sighed. “No.”

Adam shoved him out of the way and reached for the door.

“Adam!” Lucifer grabbed his leather jacket to stop him. “Believe me, I don't want him here either, but Charlie thinks she can fix him. I’m going to try to explain it to her.”

“Don’t try. Do it. Get him out of here.” Adam glared and ripped his arm away.

“Ok…” It was so small and quiet, but still audible from Lucifer's smooth voice.

The two men stared at each other, unaware of what to say now.

“So… Are you staying?” Lucifer asked.

Adam sighed. “Yeah… But only because I have nowhere else to go. The second I have some cash coming in, I’ll do what you want. I’ll be out of your life forever.” He shoved past him and started to head back to his room.

Lucifer followed him. “Adam, please, I said it in the moment!” Now he was the one crying. “I didn’t mean it!”

“You didn’t mean it?!” Adam turned around in rage. “You didn’t mean it when you said we were over?! You didn’t mean it when you said you wanted me out of your life?!”

Lucifer just stared as he cried. “Adam… Addy, please… I’ll do whatever i can to make this up to you. I’ll spend the rest of eternity trying to fix this…”

Adam just shook his head, holding back tears and trying to keep his voice steady. “I’d like to see you try…”

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Based on that post about Charlie is magically turned into a kid. The staff are arguing and Alastor makes his usual snide comments about Vaggie, and Little Charlie kicks his shin and says "Don't be mean to the pwetty lady!"

Oh! That is absolutely precious!!! Yes! Yes! and Triple Yes!

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Vaggie: Lucifer, I'm serious! We need to figure out why Charlie is a toddler. The Princess of Hell can't go from looking like she's in her twenties to being two!

Kid Charlie: (pausing in her headbutt game with Razzle to shout) I'm fwee! (gets headbutted by Razzle and sprawls out on the floor)

Vaggie: Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie. (to Lucifer) A Three Year Old! (swipes her arms in a cutting motion) And I am NOT being labelled as a pedophile because my girlfriend turned into a literal child!

Lucifer: (recording Charlie playing with Razzle with an almost manic amount of giggles) Awwwww, do we have to??? Look how ADORABLE she is!!!

Kid Charlie: (tired of playing headbutts, climbs onto Razzle's back and rides him across the floor) Onward, Razzle!!! To da castle!!!

Razzle: Bap-Baa-Baa-BAAAAAAAP!!! (charges and sprints around the lobby, occasionally jumping and using his wings to stay airborne a little longer)

Vaggie: (heart melts and ovaries pulse before she shakes off the rose colored glasses and growls at Lucifer) Yes, Lucifer. We have to.

Lucifer: (pouting) Awwww.... Alright....

Alastor: (shadows in from nowhere) I heard Lucifer sigh in dismay. What did I miss? (sees Charlie riding Razzle's back and quriks an eyebrow) Well, this is an interesting turn of events.

Vaggie: (groans) Charlie randomly turned into a three year old. We're trying to figure out how to turn her back.

Alastor: (grin widens and turns more menacing) And who will be watching her in that time?

Lucifer: Uh, I literally raised her once already. I think I can manage watching her for a few days while we figure out what's going on.

Vaggie: No offense, Sir, but I think you should put your efforts into figuring out how to turn Charlie back. You have the most magic experience out of all of us.

Lucifer: (Morningstar Puppy Eyes and whimpers like a kicked puppy)

Vaggie: (after building an immunity due to living with Charlie for three years) No. You're working on finding a cure.

Lucifer: (huffs) Fine. (adjusts his hat sassily) You've just fallen from Awesome Future Daughter-In-Law to Moderate Future Daughter-In-Law.

Vaggie: (rolls her eyes) I'll go with you to that rubber duck expo next week if you can figure out how to turn Charlie back.

Lucifer: With the fluffy duckie jam-jams?!

Vaggie: Ugh! Yes! With the duckie pajamas! But you have to get Charlie turned back before then.

Lucifer: Deal! Ho! (does the CA-CHING arm move) I'll have this figured out by the end of the day! Best! Future! Daughter-In-Law! EVER!!! (poofs away in red and gold glitter)

Alastor: Well, now that we have that settled. I'll take young Charlie until then.

Vaggie: The fuck you are!!!

Alastor: Oh? And were you going to watch her? I happen to be wonderful with children!

Vaggie: I've managed to do just fine so far?

Kid Charlie & Razzle: (accidentally ram into the couch) Ow..../ Baaaa...

Alastor: Ah, yes. The epitome of maternal instinct... Or should I say, the poster child for contraception? Leave the nurturing to the professionals, darling, unless you're aiming for 'World's Worst Babysitter' award.

Vaggie: (growls as her eyes glow and her bow turns into horns)

Kid Charlie: (hears the jab, sees Vaggie being super pissed and the self-conscious of her capabilities swirling underneath her bravado, and growls as she runs on all fours towards Allastor; dutifully headbutting him in the shin with her horns) BAAAAAAAP!!!!

Alastor: Ouch! My shin!

Kid Charlie: (stomps Alastor's ankle for good measure)

Alastor: Gah! My fucking ankle!

Kid Charlie: (stomps her foot and points at Alastor with a surprising air of authority) Don't be mean to the pwetty lady!!! (turns to Vaggie as her horns disappear and makes grabby motions) Uppies, Ms. Pwetty Lady, pweeeease?

Vaggie: Pfft! (stops the bout of laughter bubbling in her chest and picks up Charlie, cradling her on her hip) Yeah, Alastor. Be nice to the pwetty lady. And you shouldn't be swearing in front of children. (turns to Charlie) Thank you, sweetie. (kisses Charlie's cheek in a maternal way)

Kid Charlie: Tehehehehehehe! (continues to giggle and blush while acting bashful and hiding her face)

[nixie-writes]

Alastor, angle dust, and husk (separately) with s/o who loves to read but has a bad habit of reading and walking. Sometimes they can dodge things but other times they can't and just ram into people/things or trip over things.

same lol

Alastor

-absolute chad here moves things to be in your way so you'll fall and he can catch you. Lies about not wanting to catch you every time you read.

-will trip you himself just to laugh but feels bad if you get hurt or mess up your book.

-he likes to read too so he'll try to avoid you getting hurt by encouraging you to read with him.

Angel Dust

-if you keep getting hurt being a dumbass he'll just carry you himself.

-he laughs at you every time you fall but helps you up. The one time you ran into Vaggie was enough for him though so he tries to steer you clear of others.

-he lets you read on his lap so you don't go off reading and get hurt or ruin your book.

Husk

-fuckin asshole watches you fall over a chair in a flurry of legs, arms and books like an idiot. He laughs at you and goes back to being bored and grumpy.

-he does care and doesn't want to see you get hurt but he can't really be bothered to try and stop you from reading and walking.

-he'll offer you free drinks, alcoholic or non alcoholic your choice, if you agree to read while sitting at the bar so you don't get hurt.

[randomly--accessed--memories]

Decided to nail down some exact years for the events leading up to this AU. These are basically just my headcanons for the main series with a few minor adjustments, such as Velvette's birth and death years and Niffty being an overlord.

Wait, forgot to specify: Vox officially gains overlord status in 1968 and Rosie gains it in 1900.

[redladydeath]

Of the two hotel inhabitants who don’t already know, Vaggie figures it out first, at least partially because Charlie is still kind of desperately deluding herself into believing Alastor can’t really be that bad. Like, she knows he’s bad but he has some kind of standards, right? Lows even he wouldn’t stoop to, right???

Meanwhile, Vaggie’s gut-reaction would be to be furious at Husk and Angel for not fucking telling her or Charlie. The anger would pass quickly though because she then immediately realizes that of course they wouldn’t feel safe telling anyone when Al has ears everywhere, especially with how precarious Husk’s situation is in particular.

So now she has two priorities

-Break the news to Charlie

-Find a way to deal with the fucking deer in the room

And you know that when confronted about it, Alastor would be just go “And? He and Niffty were once brutal overlords; don’t you like them so much better like this? Besides, “redemption” might actually be within their reach now, thanks to yours truly.”

[sunsetmountainlion]

For the hawk feather exorcist au, I looked up to see if hawks can see glass and apparently they cannot.

So if you have any reflective surface the exorcists will absolutely just smack into it, especially glass door or windows. Hawks see things 8x Better than a human that's what makes them so efficient in hunting. It allows them to spot smaller prey from miles away, the exorcists use this to find sinners on extermination day, and also to hunt mice,rats rabbits and fish when there bored.

This all changes when glass is involved. Lute absolutely smacked into a door while on the way to a meeting with Adam and Sera after they managed to calm her down a few months after her creation, and couldn't for the life of her figure out what was in her way, Adam found it hilarious and it was they only time Sera genuinely found something appealing about lute.

Vaggie did something similar in the hotel when following Lucifer and husk back inside after a flight. She just didn't see the window. Angel refuses to let her live it down and it doesn't help that the new hotel has glass doors.

Angel: can you not see the glass?!

Vaggie: I'm a bird

Angel : pfft!!

I have too many thoughts on them

Fuck. Yes.

They have such incredible eyesight, it’s one of the best things they came out of their origins, but they are also the only angels who can’t see glass. Thankfully most windows in their nest don’t even have panes and are just open.

Once Sera deemed Lute under control enough to be trusted around others she invited Adam and Lute to her office in the main city to talk about plans for the Exorcists training since they now had quite a few of them. Sera left one of her (glass) porch doors open for them. Adam went through no issue, but Lute rammed into the closed door full force and lay stunned on the porch for a minute.

Sera was very concerned at first but upon Lute popping up and demanding to know what was stopping her from going inside and the realization that she can’t see glass, Sera couldn’t help but find the whole situation a bit amusing as she explained the concept of glass. It was actually pretty endearing to watch Lute tilt her head like a bird as she tried to figure out this invisible force.

Adam was practically dying laughing the whole time because this scary ass lady can’t see glass. Later Sera has to give the Exorcists a crash course on the concept of glass.

Vaggie ran into windows several times when she got her wings back, and Angel 100% teases her about it constantly. Eventually Charlie installs foggy film on all of the windows and glass doors so Vaggie won’t break her nose or give herself a concussion again from running into them because she doesn’t realize they’re there.

Angel has a picture of Vaggie laying on the ground on her back like a stunned bird after she ran into the glass doors and he’s keeping it as blackmail.

I love all of your thoughts so much they’re great

[deadghosy]

HEADCANNONS TEEN! READER LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE

various x gn! teen reader

LUCIFER

• Tried to teach you how to drive only for you to drive into a wall.

• Pretty much he has a helmet on with body armor and his seltbelt on saying sum,

"safety first!"🤓

• He would react calm to you driving ike a bat from hell as he gives you tips. Only for you to use the tips horribly.

• He revoked your driving license and privileges.

CHARLIE

• She asked you to go get some stuff for her only for you to ram the car into the hotel upstairs.

• HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN GET UP THERE?!

• She screamed out of shock but calmed down seeing your gremlin ass smile as you hopped out the car holding out whatever she wanted you to get for her.

• She also revoked your driving privileges and license. She doesn't want anyone hurt or yourself.

VAGGIE

• She already revoked it the moment you drove into an old demon lady.

• She's not risking SHIT!

• She tried to help you again but you pressed the gas so hard you almost flew out the driving seat.

• So yeah she revoked ya shit, even the keys.

ALASTOR

• Absolutely NO.

• He's not stepping foot into your car.

• He might as well slash your tire with a sick smile cause he doesn't trust you driving at fucking all.

• Literally just teleports you to the places you want. He ain't risking nothing if he wants to live from your terrible driving.

HUSK

• He was drunk, and you were sober. Next thing this fucker woke up to was you inside of a shop's wall chuckling nervously...

• "What in the fu-"

• You guys had to walk to the hotel handing the keys to Charlie who is just happy you and husk are okay.

• Husk never trusted you to be his Uber.

ANGEL DUST

• Lord have mercy

Angel better pray you don't come across Valentino because your driving is so bad to the point you accidentally almost hit Valentino.

• Angel was in the car on his phone scrolling through hellgram (instagram) when he heard you cuss loudly and swerve almost hitting his boss Valentino.

• You speeded the fuck out of there while

Angel's eyes were wide as a pizza. Bro hoped Valentino didn't know who was in the car. But you chuckled a little.

• "I kinda wished I ran that motherfucker over."

• Angel nodded chuckling as he sits properly in the passenger seat.

ADAM

• This fucker literally was the driver...he rammed into your apartment as you screamed shock.

• "SUP BITCHHH!"

• Literally you forced him to fix your wall as he mumbles cuss words under his breath.

• But if you are a worse driver than him. He's gripping the fuck out his seat while either screaming of fun or fear.

PENTIOUS

• He passed out scared.

• YOU CANT TELL ME HE WOULDN'T PASS

OUT

• He is such a precious boy holding onto the car door to the point his hands are sweaty for holding it for so long.

• His egg boiz are having a blast in the background as they jump in the backseat while you do this shit like Tokyo drift. Like shiiit you might as well join fast and furious.

[jollmaster]

(re)design trivia: Cain

looks like father in appearance

actually, it's more accurate to say "both parents", since Adam and Eve are technically closer than siblings

lanky and gruff

with spikes in hair

a habit of holding a stalk in mouth

permanently chafed feet from farming

how to be cheerful when you were conceived in Eden and then born in the middle of wild wastelands

was an ancestor of the tribes of East

killed Abel by slitting his throat with a sickle and pouring the blood on the ground like an altar

shot by his own great-grandson while hunting: Lamech was almost blind and mistook Cain for a mountain ram

CHARLIE'S GANG: Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Niffty, sir Pentious (and egg boiz), Cherri Bomb, Husk, Alastor (+ gang as humans)

HEAVEN: Adam, Eve, Lute, Emily, Sera

ADAM AND EVE'S CHILDREN: Abel, Seth, Awan, Azura

HELL: Lilith, Lucifer, Seviathan, Helsa, Razzle and Dazzle, Baxter

SINS: Asmodeus [Lust], Beelzebub [Gluttony], Satan [Wrath], Mammon [Greed] (and Fizz), Belphegor [Sloth]

LUCIFER'S WIVES: Eisheth Zenunim, Naamah, Agrat bat Mahlat

VEES: Vox, Valentino, Velvette

OVERLORDS: Zestial, Rosie, Carmilla Carmine (and her daughters, Odette and Clara), Flaming Skull Guy

FRIENDS AND RELATIVES: Mimzy, Arackniss, Molly, Alastor's mom, Alastor's father

[honoviadakai]

Rating the Hazbin crew based on how much I trust them to drive me places 🚗 😈

(This idea comes from @not-just-another-hazbin don’t think I didn’t see your reblog my friend, it’s been making me cackle for a week now 🤣)

Charlie 🏨🎶:

8/10

Oh this is the SAFEST person you could get in a car with

Although

9 times out of 10, she’s probably not the one driving

It would be Razzle and Dazzle

That being said

When she DOES drive, you’re guaranteed to get from point A to point B in one piece

She’s a little too safe though….

She follows all traffic laws to the letter

And that wouldn’t borne a problem…if you guys weren’t in hell

Traffic laws in hell are a suggestion more than anything else

So more often then not, people are yelling slurs and insults at you two

Also, she’s lowkey a s low driver

She refuses to go above 30mph unless absolutely necessary

And that’s usually never with her

So if you have an appointment at 4pm and she’s the one driving you

No you don’t

It’s at 2pm

3pm at latest

She honestly gives off massive “trying to be the cool mom” vibes when driving

But her some slack, it’s the daddy issues that make her give that vibe

Vaggie 🦋🗡️:

8/10

She’s pretty ok at driving tbh

She’s gonna keep you safe and she’s more than capable of navigating you through the hellscape of hell’s roads

But her road rage is insane

Like you’d think someone like Husk has horrible road rage right?

Nah

It’s Vaggie

She genuinely might actually start ramming into people if they’re being truly unreasonably unhinged and threaten your safety

She truly just wants to keep you safe so that’s exactly what she’s gonna do

Just keep your seatbelt on…please

She’s also just not gonna let anyone eat in her car

No exceptions

Alastor🦌📻:

-100/10

Why…oh why in the ever loving FUCK would you get in a car where the RADIO DEMON was behind the wheel!?!

Get out of the car!

NOW!

He’s gonna cause an accident on the freeway on purpose!

And god help you if you say you’re in a hurry!

He’s gonna grove even slower than Charlie!

Like 5MPH kind of slow!

DO. NOT. LET. ALASTOR. DRIVE!

Angel Dust🕷️💕:

6/10

He’s an average driver tbh

Well…

When he’s being chill/sober

He’s pretty good at staying out of trouble and getting you from point A to B in the time you need

Now if he’s having a manic episode or had too much coke….

Please for the love of god buckle up

He’s speeding so fast it makes Sonic the Hedgehog look like a tortoise

He’s there for a good time, not a long time and he wants to see some shit get wrecked

But tbh he might not let you in the car if he’s doing this

He doesn’t care what happens to him

But you?

Your safety matters so much to him…

Thankfully he hasn’t done stuff like that in a long time so for the most part, he’s a good person to go to if you need a ride

Husk🐈‍⬛🥃:

9/10

He’s got the soul of a grumpy old man and he drives like one too

First of all

He’s gonna complain when you ask him to take you anywhere

He’s gonna drive you ofc

But he’s gonna act like you took him away from something important

It was booze

You took him away from his quiet drinking time

How dare you

He’s gonna get you from point A to B as quickly and as safely as he can

Nothing crazy, he just wants to hurry back home with as little chaos happening as possible

Low key I feel like he plays country, blues and/or rock music from around the time he was alive

It’s mostly sad music if you really listen to the lyrics

He honestly doesn’t care if you eat in the car but if you make a mess, he’s making you clean it

It’s honestly like getting a ride from you’re very tired and jaded uncle

Niffty🐞🪡:

-90/19

No

Absolutely not

First of all

Look at her

She’s like 3 ft tall

How is she supposed to reach the pedals or look over the steering wheel????

Second

Even if she was tall enough to drive properly….would you honestly get in the car with her???

The best way I can explain her driving….

And even then…I think she’s 1000 times worse than this guy

She’d tumble it hard enough to make it explode while you’re both still inside

And she’s laugh gleefully….

Just get a cab…it’s much safer

Sir Pentious🐍🥚:

-60/10

Ok

I know he’s capable of piloting his war machine

But piloting a ship and driving a car and very different for him

Ships are easy for him

But cars????

It’s like reading a foreign language to him

You’ll eventually reach your destination sure

But the town you just passed through is somehow on fire

And so is the car

And it’s only being held together by duct tape and prayers…

Just walk

Your chances of coming home in once piece is much higher that way