#lucifer is a goober

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Based on that post about Charlie is magically turned into a kid. The staff are arguing and Alastor makes his usual snide comments about Vaggie, and Little Charlie kicks his shin and says "Don't be mean to the pwetty lady!"

Oh! That is absolutely precious!!! Yes! Yes! and Triple Yes!

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Vaggie: Lucifer, I'm serious! We need to figure out why Charlie is a toddler. The Princess of Hell can't go from looking like she's in her twenties to being two!

Kid Charlie: (pausing in her headbutt game with Razzle to shout) I'm fwee! (gets headbutted by Razzle and sprawls out on the floor)

Vaggie: Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie. (to Lucifer) A Three Year Old! (swipes her arms in a cutting motion) And I am NOT being labelled as a pedophile because my girlfriend turned into a literal child!

Lucifer: (recording Charlie playing with Razzle with an almost manic amount of giggles) Awwwww, do we have to??? Look how ADORABLE she is!!!

Kid Charlie: (tired of playing headbutts, climbs onto Razzle's back and rides him across the floor) Onward, Razzle!!! To da castle!!!

Razzle: Bap-Baa-Baa-BAAAAAAAP!!! (charges and sprints around the lobby, occasionally jumping and using his wings to stay airborne a little longer)

Vaggie: (heart melts and ovaries pulse before she shakes off the rose colored glasses and growls at Lucifer) Yes, Lucifer. We have to.

Lucifer: (pouting) Awwww.... Alright....

Alastor: (shadows in from nowhere) I heard Lucifer sigh in dismay. What did I miss? (sees Charlie riding Razzle's back and quriks an eyebrow) Well, this is an interesting turn of events.

Vaggie: (groans) Charlie randomly turned into a three year old. We're trying to figure out how to turn her back.

Alastor: (grin widens and turns more menacing) And who will be watching her in that time?

Lucifer: Uh, I literally raised her once already. I think I can manage watching her for a few days while we figure out what's going on.

Vaggie: No offense, Sir, but I think you should put your efforts into figuring out how to turn Charlie back. You have the most magic experience out of all of us.

Lucifer: (Morningstar Puppy Eyes and whimpers like a kicked puppy)

Vaggie: (after building an immunity due to living with Charlie for three years) No. You're working on finding a cure.

Lucifer: (huffs) Fine. (adjusts his hat sassily) You've just fallen from Awesome Future Daughter-In-Law to Moderate Future Daughter-In-Law.

Vaggie: (rolls her eyes) I'll go with you to that rubber duck expo next week if you can figure out how to turn Charlie back.

Lucifer: With the fluffy duckie jam-jams?!

Vaggie: Ugh! Yes! With the duckie pajamas! But you have to get Charlie turned back before then.

Lucifer: Deal! Ho! (does the CA-CHING arm move) I'll have this figured out by the end of the day! Best! Future! Daughter-In-Law! EVER!!! (poofs away in red and gold glitter)

Alastor: Well, now that we have that settled. I'll take young Charlie until then.

Vaggie: The fuck you are!!!

Alastor: Oh? And were you going to watch her? I happen to be wonderful with children!

Vaggie: I've managed to do just fine so far?

Kid Charlie & Razzle: (accidentally ram into the couch) Ow..../ Baaaa...

Alastor: Ah, yes. The epitome of maternal instinct... Or should I say, the poster child for contraception? Leave the nurturing to the professionals, darling, unless you're aiming for 'World's Worst Babysitter' award.

Vaggie: (growls as her eyes glow and her bow turns into horns)

Kid Charlie: (hears the jab, sees Vaggie being super pissed and the self-conscious of her capabilities swirling underneath her bravado, and growls as she runs on all fours towards Allastor; dutifully headbutting him in the shin with her horns) BAAAAAAAP!!!!

Alastor: Ouch! My shin!

Kid Charlie: (stomps Alastor's ankle for good measure)

Alastor: Gah! My fucking ankle!

Kid Charlie: (stomps her foot and points at Alastor with a surprising air of authority) Don't be mean to the pwetty lady!!! (turns to Vaggie as her horns disappear and makes grabby motions) Uppies, Ms. Pwetty Lady, pweeeease?

Vaggie: Pfft! (stops the bout of laughter bubbling in her chest and picks up Charlie, cradling her on her hip) Yeah, Alastor. Be nice to the pwetty lady. And you shouldn't be swearing in front of children. (turns to Charlie) Thank you, sweetie. (kisses Charlie's cheek in a maternal way)

Kid Charlie: Tehehehehehehe! (continues to giggle and blush while acting bashful and hiding her face)

[socksandcrocs]

later….

lucifer just cant win

[saoz]

silly little guy

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

He’s just so meme-able, it’s crazy!!

Bonus:

[heyitsspiders]

More than anything

im genuinely really happy with this :D

[mr-malumm]

Starting a series of drawings for each song and we're going IN ORDER BAYBEEEE, so heres Happy Day in Hell!!!!!!!!

[sunnytotherescue]

Obey me boys with chubby! Reader w/ the most thickest fat ass who is definitely a power bottom

(My English is not my first language)

Ouh lawd anon save me from the sweltering pits of hell I'm going to start BARKING..

cw: dom!bot mc

nnngrhhmgngfjfh

Thinking about Lucifer desperately thrusting up into the air and gaining nothing from it. Lucifer who loves getting suffocated and crushed as he eats you out, swollen cock twitching with every slow grind against his tongue. The feeling of losing all control of the situation for once makes him painfully hard. His mind is already a haze, drooling mouth trying to keep up with you whenever you move but he's grown sluggish with the lack of oxygen. Of course, he wouldn't have it any other way, obnoxious slurping filling up the room while the lucky demon silently begs for you to stay there forever.

Thinking about Mammon who's quickly turned into your very own dog. He'd lick the sweat off your chest, squeeze and grope every inch you allowed him access to, decorate you in jewels and treasures only he could snatch. Put that mutt on a leash and have him fuck you, desperate pleads spilling from his mouth the second he slams in. Let him drool over how every golden chain and shiny diamond he's decorated you with jingles with every thrust. Tug on pup's collar hard enough and he'll cum from that alone, sobbing when he spills deep inside your hole. But even then he won't stop, not until you let him, not until you've had your fill and he's passing out! But how could such a greedy demon be ungrateful when every ripple of skin and shiny glint of gold is just for him?

Thinking about Leviathan who has trouble just approaching you because of the threatening (in his words) aura you give off. You're so scary he knows you'll bully him- you gave him a look at lunch he's never going to recover- he's rocking back in forth in his tub bed to try and forget how much you must hate him- he gets out his laptop to watch his favorites to help the process- he's never jerked off to that much porn in his life. ..It's not long after he gets the real thing. Or, at least, as much as he's allowed. Levi sits at the end of your bed, panting feverishly while one hand massages your ass and the other fists his dick like his life depends on it. It a mess, milky white cum already staining your skin, but he just can't stop. Not when he's so good at imagining how you'd use him like a toy.. but don't actually!! he doesn't deserve it...yet.

Thinking of Satan who's on the verge of sobbing. His poor sensitive cock so overstimulated it almost hurts, but he's taking it like a good boy. The night started out in a fight and ended with you bouncing on his dick like an animal, taking all you could want while he curls sharp claws into the sheets, trying desperately to muffle his sounds. He's usually so clever, but underneath of you? He turns into such a dumb little kitty. Moans get punched from his mouth with every harsh slam of your hips, a sticky slick mess squelching with every movement. He can't feel anything else besides burning, painful pleasure. Not like he would want to anyway.

Thinking of Asmodeus who begs you to let him play dress-up. He has so many ideas that he's never gotten to try out because none of the outfits look right on him. but you? they look perfect. By the end of it, you're dressed in a silky-smooth robe, the color matching your eyes almost exactly. it's perfect, drapes over your curves just right and has Asmo at your knees with a drunk look in his eyes. He kisses the inside of your thighs like you're the finest diamond in all of Devildom. Asmodeus, the prized and loved avatar of lust, at your feet and pulling every trick in the book to try n seduce you. Telling you how pretty you look, how good he'll make you feel, how he well he can worship you.

Thinking about Beelzebub who can't help but look at you and get hungry. It absolutely sinful and he feels guilty about it, but who else could satisfy him? He fucks into you like a bull, lips wrapped firmly around you chest and sucking like you'd actually be able to produce milk.. he's so hungry :( Poor starving Beel has no idea how fucked out you are, choking out praises while your eyes roll back into your head. He plays with your chest in a way that should be embarrassing, but you'll let him believe it's just like a pair of tits if he keeps fucking you like this.

Thinking of Belphegor who uses your ass n thighs like pillows every chance he gets. Sitting on the couch? He's there. Late for breakfast and sitting alone? He's under the table with his head on your lap. Settling down in bed for the night? Idiot's whining until you let him climb under your sheets and sleep between your thighs. But don't worry, he repays you kindly. Jerking you off in the dead of knight, humping the curve of your ass while using his own spit to slick up ur cock.. he promises not to cum. to put your pleasure above his own, edging himself until your thick spend is soaking his fist and he can't take it anymore. Too bad he always passes out right after... hopefully he'll make up for it in the morning..

_

hiiiiiii I hate how this turned out ok baiiiii

[certifiedlucifersimp]

Levi

[mythbringer-mayhem]

Him.

[doll-drawings]

what really happened after Lilith left

[d011zk1ll]

Only refer to me as Lucifer from now on because I am just that duck loving goober.

Also 9th picture is just me and @dracolineinnit =3

[socksandcrocs]

colored it <3

[dolls-self-ships]

doodle page ♥️

(tag list 💕 @shiny-self-shipping @menshusband @westiefromtheeast @bat-anon @sunflawyer )

[aliengoober80085]

I LOVE MY WIFE!!

[s1nfu7h0r53f7y]

Soooooo, we all agree that there needs to be a Lucilith parody of “Oh, Millie” called “Oh, Lili”, right?

[dungeons-and-dictions]

Lucifer very politely losing it upon seeing the dumpster fire Charlie is making do with.

It’s a little shabby. No biggie.

Keep.

It.

Together.

AKSKDBDJSVEB NOPE.