#using that brush to make it look more “anime�� was hell btw

[lomlompurim]

IM BACK WITH MORE WHITE LOTUS BINGHE JAPAN EDITION BC I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 💕🪷💚

and some other bunhe sketches to warm up and draw some more

The prettiest boy that ever existed, I want to bite him until he squeaks

[alxtiny]

Ad Astra per Aspera

Episode 3

Pairing: Pirate!Ateez x Navigator!reader

Genre: pirate!au, fluff, angst, maybe smut

Word Count: 7.7k

Warnings: food, self deprecating thoughts

Notes: sort of filler chapter i guess? Character profiles are updated a lil btw :D

Playlist : SOS by Kang Daniel | Pirates by Xdinary Heroes | Animal Farm by BIBI

Series Masterlist | Episode 4 | Episode 2 | Bonus!

Of course, peace was never an option.

You were rudely jolted awake by the sound of a door slamming—again. Your body jerked so violently that you nearly fell off your bed, barely catching yourself on the edge. The thumping in your chest was a mix of lingering exhaustion and sheer irritation. You had almost landed yourself a third visit to the doctor, which was something you wished to avoid after what happened the before.

“What the hell do you want?" you snarled, sitting up with a scowl, blinking against the dim light of the room.

Leaning casually in the doorway was the same infuriating man from earlier. He wore his usual cocky smirk, the kind that made you want to throw something sharp or heavy at him. “Several things, sweetheart, but I’m afraid you won’t like some of the answers," he drawled, his eyes looking you up and down with amusement.

You threw him a scandalised look, crossing your arms over your chest. "Don’t call me that," you snapped, glaring daggers at him. Your attitude only seemed to amuse him more as he chuckled.

“Alright, alright," he raised his hands in mock surrender, still grinning like a stupid cat. "I’ll tell you the real reason I’m here. The captain needs you again—something about getting us out of here. He said we’re through the darkest parts of the cave, and the light’s slowly coming back.”

You groggily glanced at your wristwatch, confirming that about two hours had passed since you’d last checked. If the captain was right, you were nearly through the treacherous part of the cave and would soon be back in open waters. The thought gave you just the slightest bit of relief.

“Take me to him. We have much to discuss,” you said, standing up and brushing the sleep from your eyes.

“Mmm, much to discuss, huh?” he teased, a sly look on his face.

You rolled your eyes, exasperated. “It’s navigation stuff, don’t make it sound like that! And who even are you to question it? Don’t you have a job to do?”

A mischievous glint lit his eyes. “Ah, of course. You don’t know me yet.” He straightened up dramatically, as if preparing for an introduction on stage. “Jung Wooyoung, lookout extraordinaire and your new favourite person. Pleased to meet you." He extended a hand to you.

You scoffed, swatting his hand away. "Favorite? In your dreams, Wooyoung."

Unfazed, he continued, “Also, I do have a job, but right now there’s absolutely nothing to look out for in this cave, so I decided to come here and annoy you.”

You groaned, rolling your eyes yet again as he grinned wider. "Great," you muttered sarcastically, already regretting your decision to ask him anything. Now that you knew his name, though, you were definitely adding him to your nightly list of people to curse.

As you both walked toward the main deck, you noticed something off about Wooyoung. In the dim, flickering light of the corridor, his presence seemed… shadowy, almost as if he wasn’t fully there. You kept glancing at him out of the corner of your eye, but it was hard to tell if it was just the darkness playing tricks on you.

He stayed silent for once, which was even more disturbing than his usual cheeky remarks. Occasionally, he whistled quietly under his breath, but the quiet of the cave made the sound echo strangely around you.

Finally, you reached the deck, and there was Captain Hongjoong—still wearing his damn sunglasses even though darkness enveloped the entire cave. He stood completely still, even with the rocking of the ship, his hands clasped behind his back as he gazed out toward the dimly glowing exit of the cave.

You stepped up beside him, unsure whether to interrupt his thoughts. “Captain,” you finally mumbled.

He turned slightly, just enough to glance at you from behind his sunglasses. “You’ve rested,” he stated more than asked.

“Not really,” you replied, loosening up a little, “but I hear we’re almost through. I’ve come to discuss our next course of action.”

“Good,” Hongjoong replied, nodding. “We’re almost at the exit, and I want you to confirm our path as soon as we’re out of the cave. I’ll not have any more surprises. Not today.”

You glanced back at the looming cave walls, the jagged rocks jutting out as the ship slowly stirred forward. If you had estimated correctly, you’d make it through soon—hopefully without the ship scraping against the sharp edges.

“Once we’re in open waters again, we’ll head for the eastern port towns. But after we dock, there’s another matter I need you to assist with, something a little different than what your job entails” Hongjoong said plainly.

“What matter?” you asked warily.

He waved you off, “All in good time, navigator. For now, let’s focus on getting through.”

Before you could question him further, he turned away, dismissing you. Typical. The man was near impossible to read, always playing out his cards carefully.

With a sigh, you nodded and made your way toward the main deck, tired of all the cryptic talk. Beside you, Wooyoung offered a lazy grin, his earlier silence breaking. You had almost forgotten he was there, almost. "So, what do you think? Captain’s got another fun surprise lined up for us?"

"Probably something that might get us killed or worse," you muttered, shaking your head.

"Wouldn’t be a normal day without it," he chuckled.

You stared at him in shock. "Wait, what? This kind of stuff happens every day!?"

He tipped his head back. "Every. Single. Day. You’ve not seen the worst of it yet" he said, cackling as he sauntered away, leaving you standing there, mouth agape.

Before you could even process what he'd said, a gentle but rough hand came out of nowhere and closed your mouth for you. Startled, you whipped around, hair flying out and smacking the person behind you, who groaned in response.

"Ow, that hurt," the deep voice groaned. It was that tall beefy man with the baby face, the one with the figet dagger. You hadn’t really seen him in a while, and now, here he was, standing right behind you.

"Why are you here?" you asked, narrowing your eyes.

"Captain sent me to train you," he said matter-of-factly.

Your brow furrowed. "Train me for what?"

He just smirked and without another word, grabbed your hand and began dragging you toward the lower deck. You stumbled along behind him, still lethargic and bewildered. Light had just started filtering in as the ship neared the end of the cave, casting long shadows across the wooden floorboards.

When you finally came to a stop near one of the secluded corners of the main deck, it was in front of a large, leather-bound case, big enough to hold a person. You eyed it dubiously. "Are you trying to lock me up or something?"

He just gave you a big smile, showing off his teeth, offering no answer as he bent down and popped open the case. The lid creaked loudly, revealing an array of weapons—swords, daggers, even a few guns.

Your stomach dropped. "Wait—are you going to kill me? Captain Hongjoong said I was useful!" you shrieked, taking a step back.

The man laughed, his deep voice rumbling through the air. "Relax. I'm just teaching you some basic combat skills so you can defend yourself when we dock."

You blinked, incredulous. "What do you mean 'defend myself'? How dangerous can the people there be?"

He straightened up, closing the case for now, and turned to you with an amused smile. "Well, they’re not that dangerous, but captain's orders are captain's orders. Gotta do what I gotta do."

You groaned, realizing there was no way you were getting out of this. Maybe you should fake sickness. “And you’re the one teaching me? My head hasn’t even healed completely yet!” you argued, pouting angrily.

The man chuckled. He sure found this all amusing, “You’re safe for now, relax. My name is Mingi, by the way”

You rolled your eyes. “Alright, Mingi. Let’s get this over with.”

He clapped his hands together, eyes gleaming with enthusiasm. "That’s the spirit! Now, let’s start with something easy."

He pulled out a lightweight dagger and handed it to you, guiding your hand to grip it properly. As he began explaining how to hold and wield the weapon, you could feel the absolute absurdity of your situation. Just a day ago, you were quietly navigating maps and casually dodging storm flashes, and now you had to learn how to stab people—for your own protection, apparently.

Mingi’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. "Focus, or you might hurt yourself, before someone else can even try to" he said, his tone reprimanding but gentle. You nodded, trying to focus on his instructions.

As he moved behind you, adjusting your stance and positioning your hands, you realised that despite his intimidating size, Mingi wasn’t nearly as unnerving as you first thought. He was patient, explaining everything in detail and offering tips as you clumsily practised a few basic moves.

“Not bad,” Mingi said after a while, stepping back to observe your progress. “For a beginner, you’ve got decent instincts.”

Your ego swelled ever so slightly, at his words, though you were far from being a pro. “Thanks, I guess,” you said, slightly out of breath.

“Alright then, we’ll wrap it up for now. Captain doesn’t need you killing anyone yet,” he said with a wink, sheathing his own blade with ease.

You handed the dagger back to him, relieved to be done. “Well, that was… fun?”

Mingi just laughed again, leading you back toward the centre of the main deck. “You’ll thank me later. Trust me.”

The open sea was finally visible ahead, you had just passed the exit. Hongjoong still stood at the helm, a satisfied smile on his face, happy to be out of the claustrophobic cave.

You glanced at Mingi, who gave you a nod before heading off to god knows where. You took a deep breath, feeling both exhausted and relieved.

As you made your way back towards Captain Hongjoong, you spotted Seonghwa standing beside him, still as a statue. His sharp, delicate features made him look almost princely, if it weren’t for his hollowed cheeks and the dark circles under his eyes. You couldn’t help but wonder if they fed him enough—or, for that matter, if anyone on this ship had eaten at all. With everything that had happened, food had completely slipped your mind.

Reaching Hongjoong, you tapped him lightly on the shoulder. He turned to face you, his body language telling you he’s exhausted despite him trying not to show it al all.

“Hey, since we’re past the cave’s exit,” you said, quickly moving to the more important matters. “From here, we need to travel westward for about three hours, then head north once we pass the last island on the peninsula. It’ll take us approximately another day to reach the eastern ports.”

He nodded, looking less burdened as you spoke. “I see. Good work,” he said, pausing for a second efore continuing, “We need to discuss your role when we dock. We’re not exactly welcome there, if you catch my drift.” His lips managed to curl into a small smirk. “But there’s a man who’s willing to host us while we take care of some… business.”

“Is that the man you mentioned earlier?” you asked, curiosity piqued.

“No, it’s my—"

Before he could finish his sentence, your stomach growled loudly, cutting him off. Your eyes widened in mortification as you slapped a hand over your mouth, cheeks burning red with embarrassment. You hadn’t realized how hungry you actually were until this moment.

Hongjoong stared at you for a beat, and then, to your surprise, he burst into laughter. “You haven’t eaten in a while, have you?” he asked between breaths, his usual stoicism gone.

You shook your head, mumbling a quick “no” as you tried to disappear into the floor from sheer embarrassment.

“That’s okay,” he said, still chuckling. “You should head to the kitchens. We’ll discuss the plan when everyone’s together.” He turned to Seonghwa, who remained as still and composed as ever. “Seonghwa, show her the way. Make sure she doesn’t get lost—and for God’s sake, make sure you eat something, too.”

Seonghwa nodded, the corners of his lips twitching. He caught your gaze, and with a subtle gesture, indicated that you should follow him. Your face still burning, you gave Hongjoong a quick, flustered nod. “Thank you, Captain. Sorry ‘bout that,” you muttered before quickly following after Seonghwa.

Hongjoong waved you off, still chuckling. “Don’t worry about it. Get some food.”

As you walked through the dimly lit corridors with Seonghwa, the ship gently swayed in time with the waves, and you could still feel your cheeks burning from embarrassment. Seonghwa, of course, said nothing, his footsteps light and quiet as he led the way.

After a few minutes of walking in silence, you mustered up enough courage to speak. “So… do you actually eat?” you asked, chuckling awkwardly.

Seonghwa glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, his expression impassive. “On occasion,” he replied dryly.

You snorted, relieved that he had a sense of humor, however subtle. “Well, it didn’t seem like it. You look like you haven’t slept or eaten in days.”

He raised an eyebrow but didn’t reply, leading you down another set of stairs toward what appeared to be the ship’s galley. “There you go,” Seonghwa said, gesturing toward the entryway of the kitchen and dining hall. “Wooyoung should be around here somewhere. He usually handles the meals.”

Your eyes widened at the mention of Wooyoung. “Oh, interesting. Thanks, Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa gave a short nod. “I’ll make sure to eat something too, later” he added, a hint of teasing in his tone before turning to leave.

“Wait—where are you going?” you asked, feeling a bit more comfortable around him now.

“To report back to the captain,” he replied, “and to rest. Unlike you, I haven’t gotten a break yet.”

You felt a bit guilty for holding him up, but you smiled weakly at his dry sense of humor anyway. “Alright, see you later.”

With that, Seonghwa disappeared into the shadows once again, leaving you to explore the galley in search of Wooyoung—and most importantly, food. You wandered further down the corridor, and soon, the delicious scent of something cooking hit your nose sharply. You nearly started drooling right there and then. The aroma was rich and savoury, with the perfect combination of spices, and it drew you in like a moth to a flame.

You groaned at the prospect of a filling meal. You followed the scent with your nose up in the air, your feet moving almost on autopilot as the hunger gnawed at your stomach. Soon enough, you found yourself standing in the large kitchen and dining area, which made sense considering there were about thirty crewmen aboard—not including the eight others. The kitchen was bustling, but what really caught your attention was Wooyoung, standing at the stove, cooking himself.

You weren’t entirely sure of what you had expected, but it definitely wasn’t this. When Seonghwa said Wooyoung handled the meals, you thought he meant something more along the lines of rationing supplies or managing food storage. Seeing him actually cooking made you slightly sceptical. The mischievous pirate who had spent most of his time getting under your skin was now handling sharp knives and hot pans—what could possibly go wrong?

Curiosity piqued, you walked closer, hovering around him until he noticed you, peeking over his shoulder as he tossed some spicy fried rice in a pan. Beside him, a separate dish sat covered on another stove, its contents a mystery for now. A few other crew members were busying themselves farther away, likely preparing more food for the rest of the ship.

“What are you doing?” Wooyoung asked, his focus still on the rice as he expertly tossed it in the pan.

“Oh, nothing… nothing,” you lied, stepping closer. “Just, you know, looking.”

He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, smirking. “I didn’t know you could cook,” you said, surprised. “You don’t seem the type.”

“Is it really that surprising?” he whispered, turning his head slightly to catch your gaze. Amusement danced in his eyes as he added, “It makes me more attractive, don’t you think?” He shot you a quick wink.

A fiery blush rose to your cheeks at his words, your heart doing flips. Now that he mentioned it, you had to admit—Wooyoung did look rather appealing when he wasn’t actively trying to irritate you. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing the veins in his forearms, and the deft, precise way he handled the pan showcased a kind of skill that was hard not to admire.

“Shut up,” you muttered, your embarrassment growing. “How is that even relevant?”

Wooyoung’s laughter filled the kitchen, sounding more like a monkey than human. You scowled at him, crossing your arms in defiance.

“Besides,” you added offhandedly, trying to regain some composure, “how do I even know if it’s any good? I haven’t even tried any yet. You don’t have to be so overconfident.”

At that, Wooyoung’s playful expression fell away, replaced by a dead-serious look. His pride, especially when it came to his cooking, was not something to be trifled with.

“Sit,” he ordered, pointing toward a nearby table. “I’ll bring you some, and then you can give me your fair judgement.”

Sensing the sudden shift in his mood, you quickly obliged, taking a seat at the table. Maybe doubting Wooyoung’s culinary skills wasn’t the best idea. He disappeared briefly, then returned with two plates piled high with food. The steam rising from the dishes carried the tantalising aroma of spices and roasted meat, and your stomach grumbled in anticipation.

Wooyoung placed the plate in front of you, along with a set of cutlery, and stood back with his arms crossed, watching you intently. The spread before you was impressive: spicy fried rice, seasoned roasted potatoes, and fried chicken coated in a vibrant red sauce. Everything looked perfectly cooked, and the rich, savoury aroma made you feel heaven.

You hesitated for a moment, feeling the weight of Wooyoung’s expectant gaze. Then, slowly, you picked up your fork and took a bite of the rice and chicken. The moment the flavours hit your tongue, your eyes widened in disbelief. It wasn’t just good—it was abso-fucking-lutely divine. The heat from the spices was perfectly balanced with the richness of the sauce, and the fried rice had a satisfying crunch to it that elevated the entire dish.

You closed your eyes, savouring the taste as a pleased sigh escaped your lips. When you opened them again, Wooyoung was staring at you with a smug grin on his face.

“Well?” he asked, his tone dripping with self-satisfaction.

You couldn’t deny it. “This is amazing,” you admitted, shaking your head in disbelief. “I didn’t think anyone could cook this well on a ship.”

Wooyoung’s grin widened. “I told you I’m good, didn’t I?”

You rolled your eyes, but there was no hiding the smile that tugged at your lips. “Fine, you win this one. But don’t let it get to your head.”

He gave you a mock bow, clearly enjoying his little victory. “Too late.”

As you continued to eat, Wooyoung sat down across from you, digging into his own plate with the same enthusiasm. For a few moments, there was a comfortable silence as you both focused on the meal.

"So," he said after a while, "what do you think? Does it make me more attractive?"

You nearly choked on your rice, glaring at him as you swallowed. "You just had to ruin the moment, didn't you?"

His laugh once again filled your ears. How annoying you thought, smiling to yourself.

As you finished eating, more crewmen began to file into the dining hall, grabbing their own plates and piling on food. The atmosphere grew more lively, but you were already feeling sleepy, especially after the amazing food. After all, it had been a long couple of days.

You picked up your plate and made your way to the sink, leaving the dish with the growing pile of dirty ones. You felt a smidge of guilt for whoever had to wash them all, it wouldn’t be an easy task. As you turned to head back, you spotted Wooyoung also cleaning up his area, still looking refreshed and energetic despite the long day.

"Has the captain told you anything about what we're supposed to do when we dock?" you asked him, maybe he would have some answers.

Wooyoung shrugged, drying his hands on a towel. "He just said we’re meeting in the map room tonight. Only us, the others, and him. We’re not supposed to talk about it until the rest of the crew's out of earshot."

You raised an eyebrow. "Why all the secrecy? They're part of the crew, too."

A sly smile curled on his lips. “You’ve been with us for a few days now, but you’ll learn soon enough—not all crewmen can be trusted. There are always ears where you least expect them.” He winked before turning back to supervise the kitchen.

With a slight nod, you said your goodbyes to Wooyoung and left the kitchen, heading back to your room. His words stuck with you, though. What were they so cautious about? And why the distrust among their own crew? It felt odd, and your instincts kept raising red flags at whatever it was they had planned to do.

Once in your room, you shut the door and sat at the small desk by the window. It was the first quiet moment you’d had to yourself in days, and your mind began to churn with thoughts and questions. You reached for the loose paper you had been given, scribbling down whatever came to mind.

The first thing you had considered, when you’d first been taken aboard, was the idea of escaping, you had thought of nothing else. But now, after spending time with the crew, especially Hongjoong and the others, you knew better. These pirates weren’t ordinary men—they were highly skilled in what they did, and escaping was definitely out the window. You sighed, accepting that, for now, it was better to stay put and go along with whatever they asked of you than to waste energy on an escape plan that had no chance of success.

The second thing that nagged at you was their reputation. You had heard rumours about this crew before—they were renowned for doing certain unspeakable things, but so far, you hadn’t witnessed anything that aligned with those stories. In fact, they had been surprisingly kind to you, even if some of them, like Wooyoung, enjoyed teasing you, constantly. Despite all that, doubt lingered in the back of your mind. You had only been with them for three days, and for all you knew, they were just waiting for the right moment to take off their masks. You couldn’t shake the feeling that your usefulness to them had a limit—and when that limit was reached, what would they do with you?

Third, and perhaps most pressing, was the matter of what they intended to do when they docked. You didn’t know much, but from what Hongjoong had said, it was clear they weren’t exactly welcome in the town. What had they done to be so unwelcome? And what was the nature of the business they had to take care of? You couldn’t help but wonder if it involved something illegal—something you could easily get caught up in, and potentially ruin all progress you had made in life.

As you stared at the half-finished notes on the paper, and one random flower drawing, your thoughts spiralled further. There was a lot you didn’t know, and the more you learned about these pirates, the more questions seemed to pile up.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice how much time had passed. The sun had again been replaced by the moon high in the sky, its glow filtering through the small window of your cabin. Outside, the ship bustled with activity as the crew prepared to speed up the pace and retire for the night, now that they were out of the more precarious part of the waters.

You zoned out, meanwhile a cat had wandered into your room through the open door, its sleek body hopping onto your bed and making itself comfortable. It stretched out lazily, giving you a sideways glance before deciding it wasn't getting enough attention. With a graceful leap, it hopped up onto your desk, startling you out of your daydream. You blinked at the feline, and it blinked back at you, then let out a loud, insistent meow, demanding your attention.

Your hand slipped from where you had been propping up your head, and you stared at the cat in mild surprise. It was a beautiful Siamese with big, curious eyes that studied you closely before padding closer. It hopped down onto your lap, rubbing itself against you and purring softly. You couldn't help but laugh, the restlessness that had been building in your chest easing as you patted the cat’s soft fur.

"Where did you come from?" you murmured, scratching behind its ears as it leaned into your touch.

A few minutes later, a voice called out from the doorway. "There you are!"

You looked up to see a man standing there, his broad figure filling the doorway. He let out a sigh of relief upon seeing the cat, his expression softening as he stepped into the room. "I was looking everywhere for you. You can't just run off like that, you know?"

The cat, hearing its owner, perked up immediately and jumped out of your lap, sauntering back over to him. He scooped her up in his arms, and she looked impossibly tiny against his large frame. He nuzzled her affectionately before looking up at you with a smile that deepened the dimples in his cheeks.

"She doesn’t usually go up to strangers this easily," he said, clearly amused. "I think she likes you."

You couldn’t help but giggle at the thought. "Well, I like her too. She’s adorable."

You stood up and walked over to him, reaching out to stroke the cat’s fur again as she wiggled happily in his arms. "What’s her name?"

"This little one? Her name’s Byeol," he replied, his voice filled with affection as he looked down at her. "She’s my little star."

"That’s a perfect name for her," you mused, still petting Byeol. "But what about you? What’s your name? I asked you yesterday too, but you never answered."

The man’s smile grew wider, his dimples drawing you attention even more as his eyes turned into little crescents. "I’m Choi San!" he said with enthusiasm, his voice carrying a warmth that made you smile in return.

"Nice to finally make your acquaintance, Choi San," you said, watching him closely. It was hard to reconcile the image in front of you—this man with his soft smile, cradling a tiny cat—with all the tall tales you had heard about the pirates. He seemed so gentle, so full of joy. You couldn't help but wonder how someone like him could be a man who allegedly killed without remorse.

San noticed your thoughtful expression and tilted his head slightly, his smile never wavering. "What’s on your mind?" he asked.

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to phrase your thoughts. "I guess... I just didn’t expect someone like you to be, well... a cat dad," you admitted, hoping your words didn’t come off as offensive.

San chuckled, the sound deep and rich. "Things aren't always what they seem, right?"

You nodded slowly, feeling a strange sense of calm in his presence. "Yeah, I guess not."

"Oh, by the way," San added with a playful grin, "the captain told me to come look for you. Said we have things to discuss."

"Ugh, finally," you groaned. "The fact that he dragged this out for so long has been eating away at my soul."

San laughed, the sound warm and so different from Wooyoung’s. Wait a minute why were you suddenly thinking of him, you were taken aback at your brain playing tricks like this. San beckoned you to follow him, and with Byeol nestled comfortably in his arms, you both made your way to the map room. The corridors of the ship were quieter now, the hustle of earlier fading as the rest of the crew settled into their rooms.

As you entered the map room, most of the others had already gathered. There was one unfamiliar face in the group, a man you hadn't seen since your first encounter with the crew. He sat in a corner, arms crossed and eyes distant, clearly uninterested in anything or anyone in the room. You wondered briefly who he was but decided not to question it.

You pulled up a chair and sat down, glancing at San, who was still holding Byeol. He gently released the cat from his arms, letting her roam freely around the room. Byeol wasted no time in greeting the others, nuzzling up to each of them, her little purrs filling the room.

From across the table, your eyes met Yeosang’s. He gave you a small wave, his smile as sweet and boyish as ever. You felt your cheeks flush with heat, and you waved back shyly. He chuckled softly at your reaction, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before turning back to Mingi beside him and continuing their conversation.

Just then, the door creaked open, and Captain Hongjoong strode in, his sheer presence silencing the room. As always, Seonghwa trailed close behind him, quietly locking the door after them.

"Alright," Hongjoong began, taking his place at the head of the table, his sunglasses perched on top of his head, stormy eyes looking at each face intensely. We’ve got a lot to cover, and not much time to do it."

You leaned forward slightly, eager to know what this urgent meeting was for. You still didn’t fully understand the task at hand, but the way Hongjoong and the others talked about it, it must be something very important.

"As I’m sure most of you are aware," Hongjoong continued, glancing around the room, "we’re heading into hostile territory. The port we’re docking at isn’t exactly a friendly place for us, or any pirate for that matter, but we have a contact there who’s willing to help us— you’ve all met him before, although our brand new navigator might come off as a surprise for him,”

He paused, letting his words settle over the room before continuing. “This heist might be our most important one yet, and we absolutely cannot afford any mistakes.”

His gaze shifted toward you, locking eyes in a way that made you want to run away. You felt a wave of anxiety wash over you—you were inexperienced, a liability among a group of seasoned pirates who had honed their skills over years of dangerous work. Sure, you could navigate and read maps, but when came the questions of combat and risky missions? You were out of your depth.

For a brief moment, you started spiraling into self-doubt, your mind racing with questions about your usefulness. What if you messed up? What if you put everyone in danger?

But Hongjoong’s voice broke through your anxious thoughts. “But this time,” he said, eyes gleaming with a spark of a plan, “we have someone who’d be great for going undercover. Our faces are already known, but I doubt anyone has seen our navigator before.” His words were pointed but not unkind. “Even if they have, they probably wouldn’t remember.”

Well, ouch, you thought to yourself, feeling a bit slighted by the implication. But before you could dwell on it, Hongjoong pressed on.

“Our target runs a popular saloon and inn uptown, which, of course, is funded by his illegal auction houses operating behind the government's back. Now I wouldn’t have cared about a lousy businessman like him at all but unfortunately, his activities have started to affect our business as well,” he said, his tone turning sharp. You didn’t even want to know what he meant by their business. “His lawyer is who we need. He holds all the evidence we require to shut that fat pig down once and for all.”

The room was silent, as if each of the men were absorbing what Hongjoong was saying. You could see the intensity in their faces as they nodded in understanding.

“We’ll reach the port by noon tomorrow, and our work begins immediately. We shall leave the town as soon as we’ve completed the mission,” Hongjoong continued. “Pack light and only the essentials. The ship will be docked elsewhere to avoid drawing attention to our presence. Questions?”

You hesitated for a moment, then raised your hand timidly. “Umm… what exactly do I have to do?”

Hongjoong’s eyes flickered back to you, his expression softening slightly. “I’m getting to that,” he replied. “Once we’ve reached our accommodation, the first to depart will be our navigator…”

He trailed off, his face going blank for a moment as if he’d just remembered something important. “Wait… I never asked for your name.

The room fell into an awkward silence as Hongjoong’s flustered expression mirrored the confusion in the room. You blinked in surprise. Hongjoong had just come to the realisation that after nearly four days of you being on this ship, none of them had ever confirmed who you were. What if they’d picked up the wrong person?

“Oh… right,” you stammered, feeling your face heat up. “My name’s Aurora.”

Hongjoong nodded, casting a quick glance toward Seonghwa, who hadn’t shown a single flicker of emotion since the meeting began. It was like they were communicating with their eyes.

“Whoa, I can’t believe we forgot that!” Wooyoung exclaimed, slapping his hand to his forehead in disbelief, earning a few deflated murmurs in agreement from the others. Even San was shaking his head, feeling a little disappointed that they had missed such an important detail.

Hongjoong shook his head, visibly trying to shake off his little glitch before returning to business. “Anyway, Aurora will be the first to move,” he explained, focusing back on the task. “Your job is simple: go up to the saloon building and introduce yourself as a collector of rare navigation instruments. I assume that won’t be too hard for you?”

You nodded quickly, trying to ignore the nerves building in your stomach. “I can do it,” you said, your voice louder than you expected.

Hongjoong gave you a curt nod, his eyes briefly meeting yours as if searching for a hint of doubt. He shifted slightly, and pursed his lips in thought. "You’ll reserve a room for two," he continued, "and during your conversations, ask the host for places where you can buy such instruments. Make it clear you’re looking for something underground since a collector like yourself would prefer to avoid the rare items acquisition tax. Slip him a few bills, and he’ll be more than happy to point you towards the auction house."

You took note of his instructions, feeling a little excited at the thought of going undercover. It was the first time you had done something like this, maybe it won’t be as life threatening as it sounded.

Hongjoong took a deep breath before continuing. "San will accompany you," he said, glancing toward the man, "since he’s the only other face that people around here don’t know much of."

You looked at San, who met your gaze and gave you a playful wink. His presence, there with you, was a little reassuring, in a way—having someone you were comfortable with might help ease the tension.

"After you’ve found out the location of the auction house," Hongjoong said, his tone darkening, "this is where the difficult part begins. From what my sources tell me, the lawyer lives in a permanently reserved room in the saloon building. He operates from there, running the auction house's legal affairs. As night falls, you two will need to find him and make sure he doesn’t go anywhere—quietly." His eyes shifted between you and San.

You swallowed nervously. "What happens once we have him?" you asked, your voice an unintended whisper.

"Once we have him with no alarms raised, the job becomes a little easier," Hongjoong replied. His eyes glinted, a smirk playing on his lips. "He has a liability we can exploit, something that’ll make our interrogation a lot smoother. We’ll use it to extract what we need."

You nodded, though there was something dark in his words. This lawyer wasn’t exactly innocent, you knew that, but you couldn’t help feeling some pity for him. Whatever Hongjoong had planned, it wasn’t going to be pretty.

"As for the others," Hongjoong continued, turning to the rest of the crew, "Wooyoung and Yeosang will tail the man during the day. Keep track of his movements and note where he goes. Jongho, take Yunho and Mingi to restock the ship’s supplies while you’re in port."

The crew nodded in understanding, their expressions set in determination. Hongjoong’s grin widened, clearly pleased with how things were falling into place.

"We’ll reconvene at night to move the lawyer from the inn to our accommodation. I’ll have a room ready for him." He held a cheshire grin on his face, and you shuddered at the thought of what might await the poor man.

“Once we have the evidence, we can anonymously turn it over to the authorities and get what we need in return. All clear?"

A chorus of "Yes, Captain" and "Aye, Captain" echoed in the room, the crew eager to carry out their roles.

"Good," Hongjoong said, satisfied. "You’re all dismissed until we dock." He paused, glancing in your direction. "Mingi, I need you to continue training Aurora in defense. San, you’ll be teaching her hand-to-hand combat as well."

"Sure, Captain," Mingi replied, turning to you with a friendly smile. "Take good rest, Ms. Navigator. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

You returned his smile, feeling a mixture of exhaustion and anticipation. As everyone dispersed, you couldn’t help but feel the weight of what was to come—the danger, the deception, and the responsibility that had unexpectedly fallen onto your shoulders.

San caught your eye one last time, giving you a nod as if to say, You’ve got this.

And even though you weren’t entirely sure if you have it, you nodded back, determined to see it through.

However, as you left the meeting and wandered back toward your room, exhaustion hit you like a wave. You were so ready to sleep again—you had barely gotten any proper rest, this job was much more demanding and taxing than the usual small ones you took up on for merchants.

You missed your parents. A pang of longing shot through you as you thought about them, wondering when, or if, you’d ever see them again. It had been years since they were sent on their own assignment, and there had been no word from them since. You missed being a whole family—you missed bickering with your younger brother, it must be around the time for his final examinations. You hoped he was doing well with his and not causing the school trouble as he often did.

As you wandered back to your room you let yourself be consumed by the overwhelming thoughts, all the deep emotions you had put away, tears fell from your eyes, marking dark spots on your shirt and leaving your vision blurry. You held on the handle of the door of your room, grip tightening as you found it difficult to open it and face loneliness again.

However terrible these pirates were, they lived life as it was intended and they were so carefree while you were just existing for now. The splotches on your shirt grew, you let out a bitter laugh wondering why your mood shifted so suddenly. Little whimpers and sobs escape your lips, then you felt warmth after the coldness of the tears.

Just as your grip on the door handle tightened, a pair of warm, calloused hands cupped your face, gently swiping away the tears. Startled, you blinked up through your blurry vision and found yourself face to face with a concerned Yunho. His gaze held a desperation to comfort you, something that felt of place on a supposedly ruthless pirate.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered.

Snapping out of it, you pulled your face away, taking your hand off the door handle, wiping at your eyes, rubbing them red. Yunho moved his hands trying to get yours away from your face before you could hurt yourself. You sniffled trying to calm yourself and put on a weak smile, “It’s nothing, just feeling a little overwhelmed…. that’s all,” your words did not convince Yunho.

He wasn’t good with people, you couldn’t pick them apart like machine to understand how they worked. You had to be careful and sensitive. Yunho didn’t like the way your face showed nothing but pain. He signed not knowing how to reply, “Can i show you a place, i think you’ll like it right now,” he looked at his feet, his hands fiddling with the edge of his shirt, “going there helps me too,”

You hesitated, the idea of being this vulnerable in front of a pirate didn’t please you, but you agreed nonetheless, "Okay," you whispered. "I trust you."

Yunho lightened up a little at your words, and he gently took your hand, leading you up toward the poop deck. You followed him around the mizzen mast until he stopped in front of a trapdoor. Without saying much, Yunho unlatched the trapdoor, you don’t know how, since it had seemed to be sealed shut with metal but you didn’t think much of it. He jumped down first, holding out his arms to help you down.

The passage was narrow and dimly lit, with small fixtures glowing faintly. Yunho’s head nearly touched the low ceiling, and the space felt tight. He closed the trapdoor behind you with a small whizz, and you continued down the corridor until he stopped in front of an unseemly wooden door.

"I’ve only shown this to the other guys," Yunho explained quietly. "But now, you too. No one else knows about this. It’s special to me." He glanced at you before continuing, "We’re right under your room and the captain’s. No one can hear me down here, but I can hear everything."

He opened the door, and the creak echoed through the small space. You hesitated for a second before stepping inside. At first, it was pitch black. You could hear soft clicks and whirrs, and then, all of a sudden, there was a sliver of moonlight creeping in from above. The light grew, revealing an open room, one wall slowly rising to reveal the vast, open sea.

The stars sparkled over the water, the moon casting a glow across the room. The sounds stopped, you felt yunho walk around the room, and all of a sudden there was a burst of light in the room, much more intense than the moonlight, you looked around there were no torches no fixtures just an open room with one wall lined with shelves upon shelves of books, a mattress big enough to fit ten people, folded up towards the other wall and then of course the newly revealed balcony.

"How is it?" Yunho asked softly, his eyes watching your reaction.

"It’s so... wow," you breathed, your earlier worries momentarily forgotten. "This is amazing."

Yunho chuckled softly, walking toward the folded mattress and sitting down, patting the space next to him. "I designed this all by myself. It was my first real project when I got a hold over my abilities," he said, pride lacing his voice.

You smiled and walked over to join him. Sitting down on the mattress, you let the calming sounds of the ocean fill the silence. For the first time in days, you felt a sense of peace. Although that was not all, Yunho seemed to have one more surprise in store for you. He stood up and walked over to the bookshelf, flicking a switch you hadn’t noticed before.

Suddenly, the ground beneath you began to shift. The balcony extended outward, nearly doubling the space of the room. You gasped in awe as the floor moved, the motion smooth but stopping with a gentle jolt. The room now opened even further toward the endless ocean, giving you an unobstructed view of the night sky, its stars shimmering more vividly than ever.

Yunho returned, settling down beside you on the large mattress again. “Lie down,” he said softly, putting his arms behind his head as a makeshift pillow.

You hesitated for a second before lying back and copying him, your gaze immediately drawn to the open sky. The stars twinkled like diamonds scattered across the dark canvas, the crescent moon glowing softly in the distance. You took a deep breath, feeling the cool night breeze brush against your skin, carrying with it the smell of the sea.

You turned your head slightly, your eyes catching Yunho’s. His eyes twinkled like the stars too, he had a contented smile on his face, you smiled too and turned back enjoying the calm. Time felt like it had stopped.

The sound of the waves gently lapping against the ship, the light breeze, and the soft hum of the world around you, gave you suck comfort. You didn’t know when it happened, but eventually, you drifted off to dreamless sleep, the stars overhead keeping you company.

© alxtiny . Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost, or use my works on any platform in any way.

Comment under masterlist to be added to taglist

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS PURE FICTION AND NOT RELATED TO THE MEMBERS OF ATEEZ IN REAL LIFE PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

Taglist: @yandere-stories @passionandsuga @beabatiny @sadtoru @pixie0627 @nagynomi98 @bunnychui

[lvrsparadise]

'NIKES' - C.S

synopsis - “we’re not in love, but i’ll make love to you.”

warnings! - profanity, angst, angst, and more angst, not a lick of happiness i swear, slight jealousy, crying.

A/N - oh my fucking god, only took me a fucking month to write this, smh. but, totally worth it. get your tissues ready! btw, i hurt my own heart w this. also, vera, chris' girlfriend is an oc i just came up w on the spot. another thing, i tried to refrain from using y/n in just about all of these to make it seem like you were in there instead of like using y/n or a name, but i hate writing from 2nd pov (you, your, yours).

!3rd POV!

Chris holds the stuffed animal in front of his face and speaks in his funny voice.

“Ooh! Bed time!” The girl laughs at his antics and grabs the stuffed animal from his hands, placing her hand on his face and pushing him back.

“Hey!” Chris giggles.

“You know the drill, no grabbing Mr. fuzzy wrinkles.”

“That’s his name?!” He shakes his head in a joking manner.

“That’s goofy as hell.”

“You were the one who named him!” The girl laughs at the memory of Chris naming the unicorn back in 4th grade.

“I- ! No I didn't!” Chris denies it completely and laughs with his best friend.

“Yes! Yes you did! Ask matt!” She flings her head back as she laughs even more at Chris’ face and his denial.“I am not asking shit! I did NOT name that!” He laughs in disbelief before snatching the unicorn out of her hand.

“Hey!” She shouts at Chris as gets off her bed and walks around the room, taunting his best friend by holding the stuffed animal above his head.

“Get back here!” She gets off her bed and chases after him, eventually tackling him down onto her bed.

“Bitch.”

----

-Present day-

!Reader’s POV!

I sigh as I hear the triplets’ front door close and the voices of Chris and Vera giggling as they walk up the stairs.

Matt turns his head to me with a sympathetic look. I just shake my head.

“How’d date night go?” Matt speaks as he gets up from the couch and walks into the kitchen, grabbing a soda.

“Great! We went to the beach after dinner.” Chris laughs out.

“Why are you two wet?!” Nick comes down the stairs with his headphones and his glasses on, carrying the plate he brought up earlier when me and Matt made dinner.

“Are you deaf? He just said they went to the beach.” 

“Well, I had my headphones on fucknuts.” Nick argues back with Matt as he sets his plate in the sink and grabs his 5th Dr.Pepper from the fridge. 

“Whatever.” Matt rolls his eyes and walks back to the living room, sitting in his spot next to me, draping his arm over my shoulder.

I steal a glance at Chris and Vera one last time as they walk to Chris’s room, me and Chris meeting eyes for a split second before he disappears down the stairs.

“It’ll be alright. I know it kills you to see them together.” Matt rubs my shoulder in sympathy.

I shake my head softly and look down at my lap.

“It’s fine.”

----

-5 months ago-

!3rd POV!

“This is Vera!” Chris grins widely as he introduces his girlfriend to his brothers and best friend.

He feels bad for Vera, mainly because he’s basically using her to get over his massive crush on his best friend.

“Nice to meet you all. Chris is always talking about the three of you.” Vera chuckles and reaches her hand out to shake, but Matt and Nick just hug her instead, surprising her slightly. She brushes off the surprise as the triplets best friend reaches her own hand out, her face expressionless other than the obviously fake smile on her lips, one only Matt knows is fake, and shakes Vera’s.

Matt senses the awkwardness and tension rising so he speaks up.

“How long have you known Chris?” Matt moves to stand in front of his best friend, knowing she’s a little distraught by the sight of Chris with his girlfriend.

“About 5 months. We started talking in May and it just went from there.” Vera chuckles and grabs Chris’s hand, squeezing affectionately.

The triplet’s best friend clears her throat and speaks.

“Well, it was nice to meet you Vera, but I have to go. My mom.. She uh…she… wants me home, I’ve been over here for a week.” She said the first excuse that came to mind, hoping it sounded believable.

Chris’ face drops slightly, upset that his best friend, and long time crush, is leaving, not even 5 minutes after meeting his girlfriend. 

“Oh, uh.. Okay.” Chris tries to mask his sadness with the love he has for Vera, which isn’t real, but should be.

“You sure?” Nick turns to her as she walks down the hall to Matt’s room to grab her bag.

She just nods as she opens the door to his room; “Yeah, I don’t want to be in your guys’ hair for too long.” That was the last thing the guys heard before she disappeared behind the walls of Matt’s room.

In truth, she was heartbroken. She’s always had a crush on Chris, for as long as she could remember. 

She shuts Matt’s door behind her and sinks down to the floor, covering her face as she tries to fight back the tears stinging her eyes.

She hears her phone, which is on Matt’s bed, go off.Standing up, she walks to it and sniffles before sitting on the bed and grabbing it.

Ratty matty: are you ok? Me: idk matt, am i? Ratty matty: sorry

She locks her phone and tosses it on the bed before standing up and shoving her clothes in her bag, whilst wiping whatever tears fell from her eyes.

Outside in the kitchen, she can hear them all talking, occasionally laughing. 

Why can’t I just be happy for him?

----

-Present day-

!3rd POV!

Chris kisses his girlfriend once more before she’s out the door.

Oddly enough, his best friend had stuck around, and wasn’t glued to Matt’s side.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous with how much she hangs out with Matt, but he can’t worry about that, he has a girlfriend.

Granted his girlfriend is basically a rebound to get his crush off his mind, but it’s failing. Miserably.

“You alright?” He cocks a brow at his best friend as he plops on the couch next to her.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He’s known her long enough to know that’s bullshit. She’s not fine.

His face softens slightly, “You sure?”

“Yeah, just leave it alone.” She shakes her head, never tearing her eyes from her phone, playing some game on it.

“If you insist.” He shrugs and gets up from the couch, walking into the kitchen, and opening the fridge.

“Soda?” He looks over his shoulder to her, meeting her eyes for a second before she looks away, nodding.

“Yeah, please and thank you.” He nods and grabs two pepsi’s before walking back to the living room, placing the other pepsi in her open hand.

She sets her phone in her lap to open her pepsi.

They sit in silence, other than the sound of their phones, for as long as it takes for Chris to finish a pepsi. Even after that, it’s silent. 

The house dimly lit and Matt and Nick either in their rooms or just somewhere, but they couldn’t care.

And at this moment, things felt normal.

Just sitting there, in silence. With each other. Like they used to do.

They might be destined as lovers in another universe, but not this one. 

And that’s the worst part, for both of them.

Tags ! ♡

@dwntwn-strnlo @ssturniolo @strniolo @20nugs @prettysturniolo @mxqdii @thetriplets3 @slaysturniolo @gwenlore @opheliaofficial07 @gabbylovesreading @luvsturniolo @itsaaliyah2 @strniolosworld

If you want to be added to the list, all you have to do is ask ! ♡

I love you all !

And I hope you all have a good day and / or night ♡

[rexaleph]

hxh thots as of ep 51 (it's very good) i liked the hunter exam part well enough but this is truly excellent, the extreme violence and heightened stakes w the bodies piling up is way more my speed. now i'm fully watching it for real because i like it, and not like learning abt the genre and doing podcast homework

1. speaking of the podcast: so apparently Janine's reaction to Kurapika's specialist ability was "oh this is bullshit!" and i agree. however i am not as upset by the bullshit that it is as i thought i might be. him getting explicit OP rage powers made me less🙄 at him being the archetype that he is.

maybe bc it fits so well into the show's previous explanations of how nen works and how it applies to his circumstances (bc like. the guy who wrote the circumstances for him made the nen wheel lmao) also the death pact really works for me bc it is so very literal. like the pointing out and making explicit of him saying "i am a honor-bound rage-powered avenger and i will do a magic spell to supercharge my revenge powers by keeping a solemn vow limiting their use under penalty of death; the chains i use to tie my enemies into hell also bind my life" - i think that moves us away from unreflected cliche into sth deliberate

i got spoiled on Kurapika mastering all forms when i was looking up the nen user types, but i assumed he got there by like training bc he is the discipline guy. and for a minute i was like, aw he just got it by magic :c but like no, it's actually good that he got it by narrative symbolism magic. also i think bc Gon and Killua are the most special little boys in the world, i don't begrudge Kurapika being like an acknowledged in-universe rarity, and i like that he's older than them and a secondary protagonist at that as well.

final Kurapika thought, i don't like his character design unfortunately. the yellow hair grey eyes combo is unattractive and he has the textbook shitty anime haircut. basically everyone on the show looks a little goofy and characterful - in a way that makes Killua (and maybe some others) stand out as angelic btw, but sth abt Kurapika grates, i think bc it's just kinda ugly but very plain. no points of interest, except maybe his gay little earring that is rarely visible.

2. love the balancing and rebalancing of power. the mechanics and layers of what happened with Uvogin, how threatened Gon and Killua were by the troupe, Killua's skinned ankles

3. love the machinations, the interweaving, Killua figuring out who the chain bastard is, the assassins being hired by the mob

4. love the emotional machinations as well. Gon and Killua's puppy love (it's real and gay to me), and especially - as pointed out by Keith on the podcast, Killua doing mild bullying behaviors the way kids will with their friends that Gon is just not susceptible to. Killua's emotional struggles in general, the different types of jealousy (are you better than me? do you like someone else?), the controlling impulse, it's all very real and resonant lmao. Killua is the least interesting when he's freaking out abt being turned into a killer with no internal life by his family, and the best when trying to brush off Gon paying attention to another kid. i'm an adult, so im not negging my crush by drawing a power chart in the sand with a stick but like. i get it lmao.

love the horrible gay clown as well, it is homophobic but i like his sexual menace, him living fully for his violence fetish, faggot death wish and then some

love the glimpses into what's up with the troupe and their relationships in general. Franklin the fucked up big guy has some pretty insightful things to say about people's relationships. there might be something to Chrollo, until now he was just like a generic boss man (though very beautiful, and i was kinda surprised and thrilled to see him get in on the action himself and not just give orders from the lair) but he weeps for Uvogin?

5. Indoor Fish 😻

[b0mblover]

Sammy- An Intro

By: J

aka “wait j has ocs?”

this uh actually was more of a test to see if i could sit down and write tbh, it isnt really all that intresting. at all.

i uh, you guys will never guess what the name sammy/samuel is to me! like actually probably never ����

if you cant tell, im taking the “project onto ur ocs” very literally rn.

gen info at the end.

———————

sitting at a desk, there is a man, not short, not tall, not dull- but not bright.

‘sammy’ he assumes his name to be, its whats wrote on everything.

The weak pink and purple glow of the lava lamp- certainly not befitting of such a man- illuminating some of his desk.

1 in the morning, staring at his laptop, messages between him and ‘someone special’ 

(red is sammy) 

“would it be ok then?”

“sure, if thats what you want dear”

“alr then”

“when do i start working on it?”

“uhuhhhh ill send u the stuff when its time”

“alr alr”

he knew he was no animator- barely an artist, if you could even call him that.

he still didnt understand just how he got tangled up with such a person, he hadnt talked to anyone in years.

—————————

sammy opened his eyes, firstly noticing the cold sweat on his body.

it has been 6 years since then, and yet he still has nightmares about it.

15:00. the clock on the far wall read 3 pm, washed in blue light.

sighing, he shoved himself from his bed and threw on a t-shirt, gray, heavy. he thought of checking his phone but, he didnt want to be bothered with anyone today.

October 15. in a way, he dreaded it. the day everything went wrong.

The day he was born.

for all of his life, it had been ignored, in a way, he knew he /wanted/ to celebrate it, but found it to be, in his own words, useless.

He stared in the mirror, semi brushing his hair with his right hand, looking at his own reflection, something he loathed with a passion. sighing once again, he grabbed a lighter and cigarette box and headed out side.

he put the fag between his lips and lit it, shoving the lighter back into his pocket and taking a drag off of the stick. he knew he should stop, hes known since he was a kid, and yet, hes still smoked for 12 years.

he stood in solace, only shaking slightly, only truly moving to take another hit off the cigarette.

around 6 minutes he crumbled up the cig, before putting it back into the box, he would dispose of it properly later, for now, he had to work on things.

—————————

sitting down at that same desk- now washed over with blue light instead of pink- he picked up a tablet, before propping it up (LOOK IDK I USE FUCKING GLUE BOTTLE LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE), that project for his so called ‘dearest’, they stopped talking so long ago, and yet, he wouldnt stop working on it, sammy wasn’t superstitious per se, nor religous, but, it hadnt left his mind for years, haunting him constantly. he was never given any direction, it was supposed to be a group project, hell he didnt even know if the project had /ever/ been finished. he didnt even know what part he was supposed to make.

so he did the only logical (to him) thing, 

animate all of it. 

he had never planned on becoming an animator, not even an artist, but it drove him mad.

for two years, constantly redoing scenes, redrawing frames, everything, he swore to himself that hed never stop until it was good enough, and that, he made sure of.

——————-

gen info/ ref for myself bc man ill never remember this shit!

Samuel/Sammy, male, 22, born 15 oct 1987 (present day 2009), ‘right hand dominate’, black hair, pale ass motherfucker doesnt get any sunlight besides smoking sometimes basically fucking pale as shit.

idk abt height and shit yet, have fun with this ig??? btw didnt look over this in the slighest, sorry for any typos.

[ultravioart]

...you didn't read my post.

1) I have no issue with adults having adult spaces.

2) I never said adults can't have adult spaces.

3) Adults can voice E rated and R rated media without issue. I never disagreed with that.

4) If Overwatch was an adult rated game, I wouldn't have any issues with the 'joining other community members streams and being nsfw' behavior.

I have issue with adults choosing to enter careers that have T rated spaces, and then acting nsfw in them and offering fans of T rated media no sfw way to interact. It's not professional. This isn't just twitter, this is the VA going on streams with audiences that are T rated and acting nsfw.

And damn, November 2000? I was suprised bc Valeria acts so immature as someone that is a year different from me, I legit thought he was way younger, but she is older. Now I am judging them even harsher bc that is a full ass adult doing stupid, unprofessional things with a fully developed adult brain. Not sarcasm or passive aggressive here btw. Genuinely, what the hell.

(Also: Valeria uses any/all pronouns from my understanding, pardon if this is not the case, I will edit accordingly. FYI I am nonbinary and use any/all pronouns too.)

"Nobody GAF" -- Yeah, that's the issue.

Tw heavy topics below:

Rodriguez legit acted nsfw in T rated spaces with overwatch streamers that had minors in thier chats and acted 'horny on main' with streamers like Frogger, etc. (Pardon I don't recall ever streamer atm so I will use Frogger as an example.)

((Making thirst traps on one's own nsfw account, isn't the 'horny on main' I was talking about, and you know that.))

Frogger even mentioned being uncomfortable bc Frogger wanted to ask about voice acting career stuff but Rodriguez was being horny about Cass and Ramattra. Like, read the room. It's immature and unprofessional. (For context, I have worked in the animation industry, so yeah I will not brush red flags aside.)

What's the deal with Genshin you ask? Genshin has sexualized child model character designs, colorism and whitewashing issues, and orientalist(racist/fetishistic) shit in the game. Genshin is also made by Mihoyo/Hoyoverse, which hired an infamous nsfw l*licon artist (who apparently follows accounts of 'realistic looking ai generated images' of such content so the dude's absolutely a child predator) to be the art lead in the newest Hoyoverse game Zenless Zone Zero. So that only adds to the fact Genshin's sexualized child model character designs are intentionally made to be l*licon. These designs came later in the game's life, so many initial VAs were probably not aware of this direction. There has also been horrific instances with Genshin's English VAs harming fans that anyone is free to google, and if I was in a VA position on Genshin I would quit the job ASAP. I would be ashamed to have my name tied to that series/company. The whole reason I quit the media industry myself, was because predators and enablers made the industry unsafe to work in. I could not continue to work because of having to interact with racists, predators, and enablers of abuse. So if someone stays, they either are tied up in contracts and legally cannot leave yet (understandable, no judgement), have to do the job for survival income (understandable, no judgement), or simply care more about fame from a series role than they do about having to interact with predators and therefore are most likely ignoring/enabling unsafe work culture (in that instance, I DO judge them, severely). Idk what Venture's VA has to deal with so I am not placing judgements on those 3 things because it could be any of those 3. However, the redflags the VA has make me uneasy. Just my hot take, as someone who has dealt with what corruption goes behind the scenes in children's animation. :/ You can do everything right, but nothing changes. The industry cares more about money than firing enablers/predators.

Lastly, for people that want to enjoy Venture, I know personally of people that were excitedly discussing Venture with younger siblings (Overwatch 2 is a T rated game) only to later learn the VA is heavily NSFW and that a lot of the Venture tag is filled with ooc untagged nsfw thirst trap fanart of Venture on twitter. How is it that we get the first nonbinary character in overwatch (plus keep in mind Venture is not a Widowmaker sex appeal character lmafo), and then rip that away from half the audience (Teens, and sfw fans) bc the crew member for a T-rated series is encouraging the ooc nsfw. It's annoying and selfish.

And everyone in the fandom agreed that self-inserting into Overwatch is a BIG no-no since the Cassidy incident. Devs 'for legal liability reasons' took out all irl name references from the game bc it was that bad. Cultural headcanons are 100% fine imo, but the VA making Venture be nsfw in ooc self-insert ways is just. Extremely immature and unprofessional. I'm sorry, who does this serve? You are excluding huge portions of the fans from engaging with and enjoying the character outside of the game by doing this. < And yeah, I would say all this to his face. It legitimately concerns me, bc this behavior is a red flag. They need to be more mindful of boundaries and what social role you play as someone fans look up to.

The final straw was her butchering Mauga's accent (for those unaware Mauga's Sāmoan language pronunciations are botched, so further disrespecting Mauga's accent is just salt in the wound), and them messing up words that take 3 seconds to google. If not Valeria Rodriguez doing the sloppy unprofessional work (Overwatch can do better than posting half assed voice overs as content, fans SHOULD demand better story content), it was a Voice director failing at thier job. And as an aside, voice direction for Overwatch lately has been VERY bad. The Voice work itself is good, but the direction is bad, leading to off sounding emotives... and don't get me started on the quality of certain dialouge writing.

And I have bigger beef with other Overwatch VAs btw. Pharah's VA needs to be recast and it is disgusting that a recast has not happened yet + Porsche(Zionist) collab for Pharah on top of it. I am pretty sure Torbjörn's VA also said Zionist bs.

I said it before, and, I'm sorry, but I'm a hater. I am a hater of Overwatch's PR. I am a hater of Overwatch's handling of fan and crew interactions. I am a hater of Overwatch not recasting Zionists, of how they silenced Free Hong Kong protestors, and much, much more. I am a hater of many things because Overwatch as an ip deserves much better hands bc the ip has wonderful routes for world building and exploration and it could EASILY be profitable if treated right. But, I see red flags and I get uneasy. Because the last thing I want is the first nonbinary character in overwatch, designed with a universal audience appeal, being made into a ooc nsfw self insert. The fandom already flanderizes/fetishizes Ramattra due to lack of reading comprehension, I don't need the fandom to be ENCOURAGED to flanderize/fetishize Venture lol. (And yes it is 'fetishize': the ooc fanservice slasher au + mummy skin fanart devolving into orientalist bs is wild honestly.)

But hey. Maybe it's because I care about art and media for how it can teach people things about the world. I think it's really awesome Venture represents a nonbinary perspective on archeology and history. I WISH Overwatch would delve into that because it could be a fantastic exploration of perspective, culture, history, world building-- especially since Venture specializes in omnic archeology! I don't know if Venture has indigenous roots (Mexico + Canada so who knows!) but that would be another really cool addition to the character's perspective and love for history and culture and artifact protection. I love Overwatch for the fact Overwatch (to varing success) celebrates cultures. I've been introduced to a lot of unique cultural aspects through Overwatch. I enjoy the art style and animation. I enjoy the optimistic future of Overwatch. If you don't gaf, that's fine, but your apathy towards my passion doesn't mean I'm wrong for having that passion.

Okay I will admit it, I am a hater.

Venture's VA narrated the Venture comic and botched Mauga's accent, butchered the pronunciation of πυξίς (pyxís said like peekSIS not PICKsis) and Iram. It's tonal and phonetic errors, not Venture's accent.

Where are the voice directors??? Why aren't words being checked if they are pronounced right? It's annoying enough that the Greek ruins were not researched (digging into cliffsides/under ruins in Greece is desecration/dangerous, Venture's drill would shatter terracotta artifacts, handling artifacts WITH BARE HANDS is a no-no, and a Westerner claiming 'no one is here to protect these Greek ruins, so I HAVE TO STEP UP' is such bs) but the pronunciations and accent butchering is just... the unprofessional cherry on top lol.

The VA was also very nsfw in a community that included minors (Overwatch isn't rated Mature, there are teens here. Such as interacting with streamers in a suggestive way even though those streamers have minors in the audience. If Overwatch was an adult series I wouldn't be complaining.) I get the VA is nsfw sometimes but READ THE ROOM. YOU are the adult here, CHOOSING to work on a T rated game that has a large online presence. Make a side account or something for nsfw!

The VA also encourages thirst trap art of Venture which to me feels SO ooc for Venture's character. Overwatch characters should NOT be self inserts! Did we not learn this already with Cassidy?!?! Sure, Venture's character can be flirty, but I see it in more so a 'hopeless romantic' super-hero whimsy way. Look at how Venture embellishes their intro in the intro animation! "Those boots, the drill, that perfect smile!"

It's light hearted and camp, not unironic gooner thirst trap lol. (Plus that mummy skin fanart trend for Venture eventually turned into people making fanart including orientalist fetish costumes. Smfh.)

There's nothing wrong with expressing sexuality, in fact I am happy for anyone that finds who they are and embraces it! But yeesh, as a professional VA in a T rated game, be appropriate for a T rated audience!!! Don't be horny on main when sfw fans are just trying to ask you about the VA profession. It's not cute, it’s immature and irresponsible and extremely unprofessional. Sorry to be a hater but. This person also voices characters in Monster High, a series aimed at a younger audience. The VA also voices a character in Genshin Impact... and I needn't say why it's concerning that the VA doesn't respect the audience the VA AS AN ADULT chooses to work in. :/

I also have beef with how Venture changed from concept to final product (loved the big smile, long lashes chill vibe + Venture's curls got nerfed >:/) so I might make a redesign of Venture in the future...

[xiaophilia]

SAGAU with a God reader who controls the Light? 🤔 I love this AU btw and I LOVE your writing!!! Thank you!!!

❝SAGAU w/ who controls light ❞

‣ Note! I made it so reader had only gained their light controlling abilities after they got in Teyvat and the characters help them control it! Hope you don't mind! And I'm sorry for the two month delay... Btw @mikachuchu HERE

✎...Includes: A lot x Gender neutral reader!

❬Information: A bit of crack, slight manipulation, yandere themes, cult ❭

Intro: Being considered as a god in a world of a game you once played was surely unexpected. As far as you were concerned you weren't someone special. You lived a pretty tame and normal life. But not in this world you aren't.

Of course not only did you become a god in a blink of an eye, it seems that you've gained an ability for yourself as well! How neat. 

But the question is... how do you control it? 

Ah well, fear not for your beloved acolytes are more than happy to help you!

More under the cut!

Your ability came as a surprise, only gaining it after a few months of being transported in Teyvat.

The ability to control light wasn't the power you expected. Out of all 7 elements in Teyvat, light certainly wasn't part of it.

You expected gaining a power or two considering you are a God. And logically that ability would have something to do with one or all of the seven elements in Teyvat. But hey, beggars can't be choosers. 

You may have not gained any ability connected to the 7 elements— much to the Archon's dismay (the chance of gaining some bragging rights was swiped lol) but light did however make you unique. 

Which only further proves who you truly were. 

And gaining an ability was cool and all. BUT How in the hell do you control it??? 

You didn't expect having powers would be hard. Well to be fair you didn't expect it to be easy either but you didn't expect it either to be this hard. Those shit you see in anime and manwhas lied to you.

But fret not for your dear acolytes are more than happy to help you! After all, they'd swipe any chance they can get just to spend some time with you. Ei mostly gets the most time since she's practically the only one closest to light and maybe Albedo too but the others might try and butt in. (and by others I mean everyone)

But even with their help you still can't seem to quite grasp it, you can't even count how many times you've almost accidentally blinded your acolytes (Childe and Kaeya mostly) whenever you try and do some little tricks with you light ability. 

Of course they'd usually just brush it off so that you won't worry, playing it cool and using excuses. And most of those excuses are extremely stupid. 

"Oh my god, Kaeya are you okay?!" "it's alright your grace my eye needed some light anyways"

Like,,, what??? His...eye needed light? Huh?? 

Or it could go like this

"Childe? Oh my god I'm so sorry" "Haha, your grace! No need to be so worried! I'll take this as training for my eyes!" he says trying to ignore the pain

Like Childe no, sweetheart your eyes are already dead looking as it is. Well on the bright side maybe the light in his eyes will come back if you continue doing that 💀

You have to refrain from using your powers for some time since you were scared that you might hurt Kaeya's non eye patched eye lmao. 

Despite them saying that it's alright and you don't need to feel guilty. You still do. So in order to compensate for your mistakes you usually just coddle them up, spoiling them with your attention, and spending some time with them! 

This usually starts a lot of jealousy from the rest of the harem. Some of them might even purposely try and get themselves hit with your light in order to be pampered by you. 

It hurts as hell and they feel guilty for tricking you but it's all worth it when they finally have you all to themselves.

Some of them might even try and gaslight / guilt trip you into giving them more attention (Kazuha and Ayato ). Going as far as whining about how their eyes reaaaaaalllyyyyy hurt and how you should definitely pamper them (Venti)

"Your grace my eyes reaaaaaally hurt, can I get a kiss to ease the pain?"

It worked.

On the other hand there are other character that could or might manipulate/ guil trip you into pampering them too albeit unintentionally (Thoma or Diluc). You might only overhear them talking about how their eyes hurt. And how they're having a hard time seeing. And because of that you would feel inclined to pamper them in order to compensate for your stupidity mistake.

And well if these incidents continue any further (purposely or not) then you're pretty sure a lot of people in Teyvat would be wearing eye patches at this point. 

Well it's not like they'll care anyways. They'd be more than willing to sacrifice their eyes—or eye in some cases if it means being able to spend a day or two with you. Masochists

It takes quite some time for you to perfectly grasp the way of the light (lol) but when you do, it calls for a celebration! 

The Archons might even suggest having your own vision spread amongst the people of Teyvat! Or maybe delusions like what the Tsaritsa did. Of course that depends on you, whatever you do they'd support it. 

And if you chose the latter and only gave a few of the acolytes your vision then you'd better expect a whole lot of jealousy coming your way

[onlyhereforangst]

Hi first of all I’m in love with your gifs and your coloring 💖 , may I ask how you did the typography on your Peter Parker set with the red coloring? Thank you so much in advance! 🧡

hiiiiiiii you've made my entire week, just so you know 🥺🥺❤️ and yes! bear with me because it's my first ever walk-through/tutorial/whatever you wanna call it lmao SO pardon the screenshots if they're wack 💀 i'll put it all under the cut, hope it makes sense & if it doesn't don't hesitate to send me an ask like tf was that you rambled and made zero sense, i'd probably agree with you lol i’m basing this off of these two gifs i’ve done where the text is “revealed” by movement of a subject in the foreground. 

text reveal in a gif!

so first off, i use video timeline in PS as opposed to frame animation timeline; hence, if you use frame animation to make your gifs i'm not sure if this will translate over exactly the same and i do apologize if that's the case!

i've done this twice now & love it because it's actually way easier than i ever imagined it to be 😂 what it boils down to is creating a layer mask that is not locked to your text layer & changing said position of that mask at various time points/keyframes of your gif!

first, create your text layer with whatever font, drop shadow, gradient overlay, blending setting, etc. that you prefer. it should be your top layer of the psd & you'll start with something like the image on the left. then you'll add a layer mask while selecting your text layer (the white rectangle with a cut-out circle in the middle at the bottom), your layer panel should now look like the image on the right.

now it's time to paint your layer mask! depending on the intricacy of the mask, i'll mess with the diameter/size of the brush but otherwise i typically use around 70% hardness as my settings. using the black brush (while selecting the layer mask as shown above) you'll want to "erase" aka mask the part of the text that is on top of peter's face since we're having his head movement "reveal" the text. if you need to see what you're painting the shortcut to make the layer mask visible to you is "shift+\" (for mac at least lmao). i included my mask settings as well - granted this is just for text layers. i use ~30px for the feathering when i’m masking for any kind of overlays/coloring/etc. 

once you've got your layer mask painted & primed you're ready to get to the fun (read: more time-intensive) part. the next step will be crucial to the process, if you don't do it or forget to, it'll quite literally never work & instead just frustrate the hell out of you. you've got to unlock the layer mask from the layer itself. as in, see that little chain link in between T and the layer mask box? yeah? click it!!! unlock that bitch!!! hit the jackpot!!! discover things you've always dreamed of!!! (this works for any layer mask on any layer btw, it is my secret weapon i'm obsessed i will forever unlock that bitch anyways moving on). so now you should have a painted layer mask (i chose to make it visible for the screenshot) & an unlocked layer mask (i chose to show a before & after for this), in the end your layer panel (not your timeline panel) should look like the following. 

the next thing is to make that mask move with purpose. we’re going to essentially tell it where we want it to be at specific time points. when you mark those keyframes, the mask will move itself as fast or as slow as it needs to in order to get from its previous location at whatever keyframe to its new location at the next keyframe. so now we’ll be working in the timeline panel - like i said, i use video timeline, not frame animation, it’s what i taught myself ps with so outside of very very specific things, i always stick to video timeline. 

you’ll want to scroll to your text layer and hit the down carrot on the far left in order to bring up a dropdown list of customizations (you’ll notice there’s a lot of others things you can make text do - like change the warp aka wiggle or change the style aka seamlessly morph to a different color). we’re focusing on the “layer mask position” (which folks if you’re following along, is also how you you can make your coloring stay in the background even if your subject moves significantly in the foreground!). i typically start at the beginning of my timeline and work my way through the gif. i’ll want the layer mask to be “visible” so i can see where it’s moving as i go. 

since everything should be prepped correctly and in the right spot, you’ll start by hitting that little diamond to the left of “layer mask position” and a new point should pop up on your timeline to the right - that indicates where the layer mask is on the overall canvas. now, take your time cursor bar thing and move it along the timeline to see your gif (and peter’s head position) progress. depending on the amount of movement you may only have a few keyframe points needed or you may have a lot (similar to this particular gif). anytime there is significant movement, you will need to move your layer mask which will automatically create a new keyframe. this means you need to have your move tool (shift+v) on and layer mask square selected. placing of keyframes does take some practice, you’ll get the hang of how fast it takes the mask to move to a certain place & not necessarily need a keyframe at every. single. frame. that would be exhausting. sometimes for jerkier movements you’ll need to be more exact, and other times you can let the gif do the work and have the mask glide into position in time with peter’s head (or whatever is revealing/hiding your text layer). 

essentially the point is this: scroll to the next pertinent position on your gif. ensure your layer mask is selected & you’re using the move tool. move just the layer mask to where it needs to go. a new diamond point should appear on the timeline signaling a new keyframe for the layer mask’s position. rinse, repeat until you’ve made it through the entire gif. then you get to “hide” the layer mask again with shift+\ and play your gif through to see how you did lol. see if the text reveal is smooth or if there’s parts that go too fast, too slow, or are off in terms of what it hides where. 

you can click and drag your diamond points if need be as well! they aren’t set in stone if it’s easiest to adjust that way. typically ps will also “show” how the mask is moving if you slowly drag your timeline cursor along and have the mask visible, sometimes that can be helpful when fine-tuning your mask position. 

i think that’s that! hopefully this made enough sense & wasn’t too rambly or like just plain nonsense. i wasn’t sure your ps level anon so i tried to explain every step, please do not take offense if you knew half of this already!! feel free to send follow-up questions, or if you see something else you’re curious about (not that i think i’m like. the shit at ps & gif-making lmao. i’m not. but i’m happy to help if i can!)

[obeiii-mee]

How will the bros react to MC self-doubting themselves? Like saying bad things about them or can't be serious someone give them compliment.

Supportive demon bois coming right up! Sorry I took so long to write this anon! Thank you so much for the ask! (Also, thank you all for the love on my previous posts!)

————————————

The Brothers with an MC who self doubts themselves:

Lucifer:

-As the embodiment of pride itself, Lucifer has an overwhelming amount of confidence, almost all the damn time

-So, he was flabbergasted to learn that you weren’t the same

-He always insisted that you aren’t anything but perfect, yet you always seemed to brush the compliments off with a shrug and an awkward smile

-Well, shit, we can’t have that

-Lucifer just got 10x more serious about the matter

-He pulls a really stupid concerned face whenever you insult yourself and he looks more and more like a 48 year old man/dad each time it happens

-He, as of late, increased the number of pet names he has for you and the amount of compliments he gives you each day

-He refuses to let you talk badly about yourself anywhere, at any point in time and encourages every little step you take towards bettering yourself like crazy

- Lucifer wants to prove to you that you are an absolute ray of sunshine and he will go to any lengths to do just that (do not ask)

-He’s even more affectionate than usual which confuses just about everyone in the House of Lamentation, yourself included

-His brothers are feeling a disturbance in the force and they don’t know how to feel about it

-You are possibly the best thing that’s happened to him since he fell as angel and Lucifer is ready to do whatever he can to help you realise that

Mammon:

-“You’re an idiot!”

-“*Sigh*, I know.”

-“Wha-Wait! Y-you can’t say thAT!”

-The Great Mammon is seriously worried about his human

-Being the dense motherfucker he is (i still love him tho) it took him weeks to realise you’re not all that confident in yourself

-At some point in your relationship, he jokingly called you annoying and you just went “Yeah I’ve been told. Sorry.”

-His jaw literally dropped and he almost cried

-He would have choked if he was drinking something

-Tsundere Mammon has gone bye bye and here comes the cuddling teddy bear that is your boyfriend

-He also doesn’t have as much self love for himself as he sometimes pretends to have so he’s kinda in the same boat

-Which means your boat is leaking and you’re perfectly fine with it while he’s panicking and trying to throw water overboard with his hands

-His brothers call him an idiot a lot but he’s a very sociable guy with people skills that he uses all the time in order to coax you out of your self pitiying shell

-Will whine every time you call yourself ‘useless’ or disagree with his compliments because what the hell, you’re literally the most gorgeous being ever let me love youuuu

-When it comes to you and your happiness, he ain’t fucking around. He will snarl at anyone that even looks at you in the wrong way

-Did that to Lucifer once, guess a what happened

-You’ve definitely helped him come to terms with the fact that he is loveable and not a good for nothing scum

-So now it’s your turn!

-Let him kiss your insecurities away please

-Your presence makes him feel wanted so he wants the same for you!

Levi:

-Well then

-It takes two to tango ya know?

-He is the KING of self loathing and no confidence whatsoever in anything he does so every time you put yourself down, he counters it with a self deprecating insult as well

-“I suck.”

-“Nah, you’re pretty awesome normie. I’m the shut in, disgusting otaku who can barely set foot outside his bedroom without having an anxiety attack.”

-It’s like you’re trying to outdo the other on who is worse

-Truth is, he really admires you, especially knowing you chose to date him; an anime nerd with no social life and no communication skills whatsoever

-It hurts a bit, every time he builds up the courage to actually compliment you and you not taking it seriously

-That’s because he recognises that he’s the same and just as harsh on himself as you are

-Levi knows self hatred is something that takes time to demolish

-But you are his Henry after all (also his partner but whatevs)

-He’s not gonna leave you hanging when you need him the most

-He also gradually stops calling you a normie as your relationship progresses, though it still slips through every now and again

-Basically, the first time he realised that you think negatively of yourself, his immediate reaction was: Haha lmao relatable

-But now, every time it happens, he gets all serious

-Puts his controller down and everything, it’s like witnessing a very rare phenomenon and it’s creepy as shit

-He’s also made an effort to be more physically affection though he is kinda shy about it because damn it he just wants to hug you every time you speak badly of yourself

-Probably writes a list at some point stating all the reasons why you are better than him and Ruri chan combined, it’s rlly sweet

Satan:

-He’s a bit curious as to where that mentality has come from

-What triggered you to be so self doubtful?

-He’s basically your psychotherapist and asks you a lot of questions trying to find different causes and solutions for your issues

-Honestly, he puts so much effort into trying to understand, reading books about it from the human realm and whatever he can find in order to help you

-He scrunches up his nose every time you call yourself an idiot or anything of the sort

-Satan knows that insisting you’re wonderful won’t exactly help you overcome this problem of yours

-But that doesn’t stop him from doing it

-It’s not like you can ignore his comments because he will keep complimenting you until you accept them

-He also repeats a lot of pick up lines but that’s just part of being his partner

-What do you mean you’re worthless?!! He would literally give away all of his books and his hatred for Lucifer in exchange for your well being!

-Satan is possibly the smartest out of all of his brothers, so he uses a tactical approach on this one

-Direct affectionate gestures don’t work on you so he’s gonna be more subtle

-Would slightly hint that you are amazing every time you do something for him, like fetching him a book or something

-“Ah thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you love.”

-He’s a lot smoother than he gives himself credit for

-He just appreciates your existence and that there’s someone out there that he doesn’t need to be act hostile or fake toward

-Satan is ready to sit down and listen to you talk about your insecurities for hours on end

-You would quietly say something bad about yourself and he would run through the House of Lamentation before bursting into the room you are in, shouting ‘No! That’s wrong!’ (going Danganronpa on your asses)

-“Welp, I fucked up again. I can’t do anything right.”

-And then, in the distance you hear boss music starting

Asmo:

-*Shocked Gasp*

-How could you say such things about yourself???? Is that even leGAl?

-Of course, the literally prince of Lust, with all of his narcissism, has never experienced things like ‘self doubt’ of ‘bad self esteem’

-Pfft, the fuck is that?

-He only uses the most positive of words when he describes himself

-So obviously he almost falls off the bed when he hears you insulting yourself for the first time

-But ya know, that would leave bruises on his beautiful skin

-“Oh darling, you’re not annoying or a moron! You’re not anything like Mammon!”

-That was a below belt fatal hit, press f in the chat for the second eldest

-At some point, he just genuinely believes you’ve been spending too much time with Levi and that his negativity started rubbing off on you

-But then you tell him you’ve always been like this and he almost has a crisIS

-He’s like ‘Haha, no, we’re going to get a spa day out tomorrow and a few shopping sprees so I can prove to you that you are magnificent in every way imaginable.’

-Asmo loves pampering you in general but on the days he sees you feeling extra sorry for yourself, he goes above and beyond

-Gets very hurt when you brush off his compliments because he just wants you to accept the fact that you’re beautiful

-He’s like a supportive mom lmao, whenever you’re feeling self doubtful, he goes “You’re doing great sweetie, keep it up I’m really proud of you.”

-It’s up to you to decide whether that helps or not

-He’s such a sweetheart in reality, it’s hard to remember that he’s supposed to be horny all the time

-Well he is but that’s not the point, you’re way more important

-Asmo is so much fun to write cuz I can make him so dramatic it’s hilarious

Beel:

-Oh no :(

-He gets very sad everytime you self deprecate yourself

-You can’t do it with him in the room because he’s going to start crying and give you this kicked puppy stare, it will break your heart

-Beel kinda comes over and goes “If I give you some of my food will you please stop saying bad things about yourself? Because it’s not true.”

-Well you can’t say no to that face

-He feels like it’s his fault you’re this self doubtful even though you’ve tried to explain to him you’ve always been like this

-He goes crying to his twin half the time because he doesn’t know what to do

-“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to drop it! Fucking hell, I’m such a fucking klutz.”

-“Sniffle no you’re not.”

-He’s like, giving you large portions of his food now

-Because food makes him happy so he wants you to be happy too

-🙂

-His brothers go in shock every time because the only other person Beel has ever shared his food with before was Belphie

-Physical affection goes through the roof with this guy

-Bone crushing hugs btw

-Your self worth is so immeasurable with him, you can’t even measure it

-W h o a

-I’m being serious, don’t talk badly about yourself in front of him unless you want to be hugged into next week

-You are a literal angel in his eyes, of course he thinks highly of you

-He’s just hoping his presence isn’t making your self esteem worse, that’s the thing that keeps him up at night

-Idk why but he does think that he is a bad influence on your mental well being since he’s a demon

-Beel gives you compliments all the time and it confuses him when you laugh them off uncertainly because he wasn’t joking or lying??

-He’s always supportive of your choices and encourages you to be more confident

-The same way you show your support everytime you come to his games to cheer him on

-Overall, he just wants you to feel special and appreciated

-Because you deserve it

-IneedmyselfaBeel

Belphie:

-He feels like absolute shit

-Becuase he’s well aware he‘s called you a few...not so nice words in the past

-Back then, he only thought he meant everything he said but now that he’s hearing you accept his insults and actually repeating them yourself?

-It hurts his brain and he wants to smash his head against all four walls of the room for being such a cretin

-You do tell him it’s not exactly his fault you think so badly of yourself

-But he still believes he fueled it

-So now he needs to fix it

-He’s tried everything and I mean everything

-It’s kinda working, slow progress is made which he’s really happy about but you know, it’s gonna take a while

-He finally settles on physical affection as the best way to communicate his gratefulness for you being youself

-Oh, he wasn’t hugging you before? He is now, get your ass next to him and let him cuddle you

-Handholding has increased by 69% in the last month, sorry for the loss of your right hand with how much he squeezes it

-Sometimes, he can’t help but a throw an insult at you in a playful manner, because he’s an asshole

-But he always makes sure you understand that he was just joking

-He’s such a little shit, you would be having a chat with him and you would subtly drop a insult at yourself hoping he wouldn’t notice

-But then he stops dead in his tracks, kisses you, says “Shut up, you’re stunning” and then he goes right back to the previous conversation like nothing happened

-Accept his compliments damn it otherwise he will continue to bug you about it for the rest of the day

-He’s an eboy and he’s a dickhead a times, but he just goes soft for you tbh

-If you’re feeling really bad about yourself, he won’t even say anything

-He will just big spoon you for the next 24 hours, good luck going to the bathroom or any meals during that time

-Because once you’re in his grip, you’re not getting out that easily

-He gets so pissy if anyone says something even slightly negative about you to your face

-One time, a random demon called you stupid in one of the classes at RAD and he was like ‘bïtch excuse me what?’

-Snapped his head around at him and everything

-He would have done something worse but he was lazy and feeling really petty

-So Belphie kicked him in the privates from under his desk like a damn spoiled brat

-And then he turned his head back to you, all smiles and rainbows and puppies

-I’m simping so hard for a fictional character wtf

-I had to write more protective Belphie cuz I can’t find anything of the sort anymore and I need flUFF

(Haha, I don’t know what this post is, my writing has officially taken a shit lmao. Sorry this took so long to finish, I kept going back to edit all of them)

Al~

[ag3ntl3vi]

Kenma Kozume X Male Reader | “Fighter” | ☁️

I wrote this out of boredom at like, 3AM. 

Word count: 2,345

Trigger Warning: Fighting, cursing, blood. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Such bullshit, you thought as a group of violent alphas glared up at you. You clicked your tongue, swinging your prized metal bat off your shoulders, slapping it loudly against your palm. 

"You're such a nuisance," you grumbled.

"Us?! You're the one spreading their pheromones like a whore!" The self-proclaimed 'leader' spat, venom lacing his words. You rolled your eyes, moving your body into a fighting stance. 

"Yeah? But aren't you the shitbag who touched that omega chick without consent?" You lowly growled. The alpha faltered, giving you your answer, before snapping back to reality. "She asked for it! Practically begged! Her scent-!"

"Her scent, what?" You took menacing steps forward, pushing your bat under his chin aggressively. You were relatively tall which made you intimidating along with your mean features but you weren't feared enough to be spared violence due to your second gender, and Omega. You could easily be mistaken for a powerful Alpha from afar. 

You were born with slanted, glaring eyes and a harsh resting bitch face, so you could understand why people tended to avoid you at first glance. 

Your eyes glared with pent up rage as you lifted your bat above your head and brought it down on the shitty alphas shoulder. 

A sickening crack echoed through the empty alleyway, the alpha gasping in pain before another blow from your knee slammed into his chin. He stumbled back onto his ass, gripping his shoulder pathetically.

"Your scent is disgusting," You grimaced, waving your hand in front of your nose.

"Get them, idiots!" He whined loudly. His goons charged you a second later. Swiftly, you dunked under one's metal pipe, kicking his gut and pushing him off his feet. You dropped to the concrete and quickly knocked another's ankles from under him, swinging your bat over your head (hitting someone's chin in the process), and bounced it hard against his soft belly. 

You rolled over but was forced back by a shoe to your cheek. You hissed, looking up before having your silky locks fisted and your face smashed into a hard kneecap. You gasped as blood oozed from your nose.

You forcefully shook off the pain and grabbed your offender's wrist and with a burst of short-lived power, swung him over your head and knocking him out cold against the hard floor. 

You laid there for a hot second, staring up at the baby blue sky. There weren't any clouds, you noticed sadly. 

You were tempted to fall asleep but you were sure when the sad excuses of alphas woke it wouldn't be pleasant for you. 

You knew the scene looked horrible to an unknowing eye, but you couldn't bring yourself to give a single shit. 

You sighed and picked your slightly bloodied weapon up to lazily toss it over your shoulders, walking to the entrance of the alleyway. 

Though, surprisingly, you had bumped into someone. It wasn't your fault you couldn't see him, you had the worst vision. You furrowed your brows internally, you needed to see an eye doctor soon.

The guy you bumped into bristled like a startled cat, taking a short step back as he clutched his Nintendo DS close to his chest. You glared down at him. 

"Ah... Sorry," He muttered, lowering his eyes to the ground. He glanced down the alley at the sound of a pained moan. 

You scowled at the noise, releasing a loud sigh through your nose. 

"No, sorry. I wasn't paying attention." You quietly said. Kenma nodded slowly, looking back to his gaming device, not caring too much about the very obvious fight that had just ensued. 

"You play Animal Crossing?" You asked, recognizing the soft music instantly. 

Though shocked a guy like you knew the game, Kenma nodded again.

"Cool, me too. Give me your name," You said smoothly, though internally you were ecstatic someone else played the game.

That's how you met the pudding haired boy. After exchanging your contact information, you went your separate ways.

You texted Kenma first.

To: Kenma

From: (Y/n)

I want to play COD. Do you have it?"

To: (Y/n)

From: Kenma 

yeah. whats your gamertag?

To: Kenma

From: (Y/n)

DyNaMiTe.

Don't ask.

To: (Y/n)

From: Kenma

I won't. 

Let's play.

To: Kenma

From: (Y/n)

Oh, btw, do you have a mic?

After adding your new friend on the Playstation, you connected to a call and played several rounds of COD before you got bored of slaughtering random enemies. 

"Let's play Mario Kart," You stated. 

"Okay," Came Kenma's short answer. 

You ended up playing until sunrise. You had to admit, the bloodshot eyes and sore muscles were worth it. Kenma was a surprisingly good player and you could say with confidence he was now a gamer buddy. 

More time passed since you met the setter, but he knew deep down it was only a matter of time before he was forced to introduce you to his childhood friend. As of now, he was thankful he told him very little about his newfound friend.

The more you hung out with Kenma at school the more open he became, giving you longer answers rather than his short, to the point ones. Sometimes he'd call you randomly at night requesting you play Animal Crossing with him and everyone else had gone to sleep. 

It was a lie. Kenma didn't have any other friends, but he wouldn't admit that anytime soon. He had to go when a loud voice called for him to get his ass to bed, though you weren't sure who it was. Maybe his dad? But he sounded young. You shrugged it off, it wasn't your business anyway. 

A week later you and Kenma sat on the roof of the school. You took a large bite out of a thick sandwich layered with meat and cheese. Kenma favored a neat bento his mother made him the night before. Occasionally, you'd glance at his teriyaki and whine. It took a while but the blonde finally gave in, holding a ball of meat in between his chopsticks towards you. 

"You wanted one, right?" He muttered, avoiding eye contact. You grinned and sloppily took it from him, thanking him as you chewed. Kenma grimaced and wiped at the corner of your mouth with a napkin. 

"Don't talk with your mouth full, idiot.." He whispered.

Aw, look! He's being nice~ Your inner Omega swooned. You pushed down a blush, though Kenma could've sworn he saw a thin layer of pink dusting your cheeks, though he couldn't tell due to a large bruise. He brushed it off. 

More time passe. As the days increased so did the bruises, cuts, and even a few stitches. Kenma had noticed you being pulled out of class through the window of his classroom but never really questioned it, assuming you were skipping with your friends.

He couldn't have been more wrong. 

"You're fucking joking," You muttered, staring at that shitty alpha from a few months ago standing in front of your classroom. He had innocently claimed his teacher needed to talk to you, something about your grandma's passing or some bullshit excuse. Your grandmother had been dead for three years. 

"Come along now, (Y/n)," He whimpered sadly, patting your shoulder. "You wouldn't want anything bad happening to your little blonde pal, would you?" He whispered dangerously in your ear. You allowed him to lead you out of the classroom.

You glared, growling. "You're bluffing," You accused, crossing your arms across your chest. 

He raised a brow. "Am I? I have a buddy in his classroom, all I have to do is get him to bring your pal out. He doesn't look like a very strong alpha..." he trailed off, a sick grin pulling at his cheeks.

You cursed under your breath, an image of Kenma's small, shy smile crossing your mind. No way in hell would you let this dickbag of an alpha touch what's yours.

Mine.  Your Omega growled loudly. 

 Ours, You thought back. 

You would protect him all you could.

After school Kenma went to volleyball practice, per normal, but you weren't waiting for him when he left his classroom. Normally you would pick him up and walk him to the gym then wait on the side of the gates where Kenma would make up an excuse to walk home with you instead of Kuroo. 

He furrowed his brows, confused. He checked the bathrooms on his way to the gym, not seeing you. Did you get sick? He made a quick stop at the nurse's office, asking if you had gone home. She shook her head, claiming nobody had gone home today. 

As nervous as he was, he made his way to the volleyball court, changing into his proper shoes. As little as he normally played, he couldn't get his mind off you. He had a sinking feeling something was very wrong. 

As much as he didn't want to admit it, he had started to develop feelings for the taller Omega. He had denied it for a while, but he had soon come to terms with it. What was the point in acting like they weren't there? It would be there anyway. He couldn't act like his heart didn't start to pound in his chest every time he saw you or how worried and protective he felt when he saw a new bruise or cut on your body.  He felt butterflies when you laughed at your victories in first-person shooter games or that childish grin you got when he caved and let you have his teriyaki at lunch. 

"Kenma!" Kuroo called, jogging over. Kenma hummed, looking up at the raven. 

"Are you alright? You're more out of it than usual," Kuroo asked, his brows knitting together worriedly. The blonde bit his lip, looking down, to the left and right before meeting his gaze again. 

"You.. Know that guy I told you about?" He muttered.

Kuroo raised his eyebrows. "The one you're madly in love-" Kenma yelped, slapping his hands over his mouth quickly, his face exploding into a red blush. "Sh!" he hissed. 

Kuroo smirked behind his friend's hands, giving them a wet lick. Kenma gagged, jerking his hands away and wiping them violently on the rooster haired male's black shirt. "Gross..." He whined.

Kruoo laughed, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know the guy. What bout him?" 

The setter sighed, voicing his concern. "He wasn't here today to get me," He started. "He didn't text me he was leaving and it looks like he's getting.. hurt more often." His voice dipped into a whisper as worries and anxieties flooded his brain. Something wasn't right, he just knew it.

Kuroo hummed, tapping his finger on his chin. "Have you asked him?" Kenma shook his head. "You should," Kuroo gave him a long stare. "I don't see why you haven't." 

Kenma opened his mouth, then closed it. "I don't know." He said. "Somethings wrong," He looked down, shuffling his feet. "Really wrong. With him."

An overbearing scent caught his attention. Faintly he smelt the omega's natural scent, pine, and fresh campfire. 

"Find him," Kuroo smiled. "I think there's something between you two, more than a bro-bro relationship." He teased. Kenma blushed, wasting no time in changing into his outdoor shoes and Volleyball jacket before he bolted out the door. He zipped the red jacket up to his chin and smelt the cold air, searching for his crush's scent.

He ran to the gates of the school and made his way to the empty park. It was concealed by the thick forest and thicket, but the unmistakable smell of him. 

He pushed through the thorns and sniffed the air. His smell was strong, he was close. A heavy feeling of anxiety and excitement settled in the pit of his stomach as he broke through the bushes. 

Kenma's golden eyes caught sight of a figure hunched over in a swing and he jogged over.

"(Y/n)?" He asked. You flinched at his voice, as comforting as it may have been to you, you lowered your head, your hair blocking your face.

Kenma's nose picked up on a dreadful, and disgusting scent. Blood.

"(Y/n), what happened?" He lowered himself to the dirt, looking under your bangs. "Please, look at me.." he muttered, reaching up to brush the hair away from your face.

You sniffed and looked up, tears brimming your narrowed eyes as blood dribbled down your face from a large cut across your temple, your nose, and busted lip. Your knuckles were a bright red, dotting with blood. A tear slid down your cheek and you hurriedly wiped it away, jerking your head aside.

"It's nothing," You growled. Kenma narrowed his eyes, standing up.

"It's not." He said. 

"It's nothing, Kenma." You whispered, smearing the blood across your face when you rubbed your sore nose. "Just a stupid fight." 

"(Y/n), talk to me," Kenma muttered, glaring down at your hunched form. "I can't help if you don't fucking talk to me, you know." You winced at the harsh curse. The shorter one didn't cuss often, only at games when he lost a hard round or when he was pissed. 

"I said it's nothing, drop it." You hissed, your (e/c) orbs piercing into his honey eyes. He held your stare sternly. 

You caved. 

"Someone threatened to hurt you if they didn't get revenge. They wanted a punching bag for a while. In exchange, they'd leave you alone. Satisfied?" You huffed childishly.

Kenma gaped at you. 

Had you really gone and got yourself beat to a pathetic lump all so he was spared a little pushing around? 

When he didn't answer you took a breath. 

"I'd rather be a human punching bag than allow the guy I love to get hurt," You grumbled, holding your breath. Yeah, fuck you, you knew what you were saying. You were low enough and if the setter didn't return your feelings the internally bruising would heal with your external cuts. 

"The guy you love?" Kenma whispered. "You... Love me?" he stared at you, slightly wide-eyed. You nodded stiffly. 

"Me too."

----------------------------------

[megadifferentcupcakewriter]

I'm about to go on a little rant here (there may be some minor anime spoilers ahead), so bear with me but it's another thing that's been bothering me, and I figured I'd post it here cause why not *shrugs* XD

Here lately one of my brother's have been ranting and raving about how anime especially is extremely kid-like, stupid to be into, ridiculous, and how much he hates it and so on; and that's perfectly fine he's entitled to his viewpoint, but at the same time I wanna show him all the evidence that he's wrong about anime being "kid-like" and I point you to the example shown above.

Ya'll know Full Metal don't ya? XD and if you don't here's a little brief explanation as to what the anime is about, (minor spoilers ahead so be warned, it's nothing to big) in a world where Alchemy exists and is used to extremes brother's Ed (yellow-haired character) and his brother Al attempt to bring back the mother they lost some amount of years prior to the series, and that is a big NO NO for the world, the end result? wellllll not to spoil it to much, but things get pretty graphic for the brothers, and in turn it changes their lives forever, so right off the bat-- we've kind of treated to an extremely graphical attempt at the brother's trying to bring back their dead mom, Full Metal also includes "child soldiers" "abuse" "genocide of thousands" "murderers" and that's some of the minor plot points to the anime, my word does it get so much more insane (those of you who are into anime I'd certainly recommend it)

Now allow me to show a little more of what would be considered a "sillier" anime

Here we have bungou stray dogs, again it's a pretty basic premise-- in a world where people have certain abilities, a group of individuals form their own agency to try to stop evil around the world, and many of the character's are pretty goofy, and eccentric in their own ways (some of them like moaning and groaning about the most childish things) and or playing off stuff as comedic effect, but I ask you turn your attention to the character of the far left in the brown coat "Dazai" as he's known. (MILD SPOLIER ALERT, but this happens within like the first five minutes of the anime, so take it as you want XD)

Right off the bat, we meet Dazai in the anime when he's trying to drown himself, and we learn just as quickly he is a suicidal character, seeing no point and or reason to continue to live in a world to the point that many of the man character's just kind of brush it off as this point, he is a MAIN CHARACTER in the anime and thus is thrown in the audience's faces time and time again, the show itself has an overall more "cheerful" tone at times, but delves into topics such as the underground city, mob hits, kills, abuse, and so on-- AGAIN I SAY anime is meant for kids? I think not!~ (again I'd recommend this anime to other anime lovers btw!)

Need I say anything about this anime? XD

EVEN this one!

Looks all happy cheery joy joy right? haha, WRONG!

YES, it's a little more "kid-friendly" then others, but at the same time it still holds elements meant for OLDER AUDIENCES, the basic premise being Iruma (the blue-haired character in the center) is SOLD I repeat (not kidnapped er...not really at least?) SOLD by his parents to a DEMON LORD and forced away from his human life into a world filled with demons, now thankfully, said Demon Lord is very sweet with him, loves and or adores him; BUUUT

If any of the demons discovered that he is a human they will DEVOUR him alive, so he has to live out his new life in basically HELL under the guise of being a demon all because mom and dad were like "ehh fuck it let's sell him to a demon" not only that, but Iruma struggles with trying to fit into the new school he is forced to attend, and yes he makes friends along the way and does better himself with some classmates, but at the same time he finds himself on the business end of some nasty character's.

And take a look at this anime.

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

Teenager loner kid is transported to the world of his dreams in a fantastical wonderful world filled with hot elf girls, maids, dragon people, basically think gamer teen finds himself in a game-- overall he's pretty excited, given that his previous life, he was a shut-in loner, who didn't have any sort of friends and felt like a disappointment, his joy only increases when he meets the lovely elf girl on his right, all happy and cheerful, bright sunshine and rainbows! how is this an anime not suited for kids you may ask?

MAJOR SPOILER TERRITORY AHEAD *but you could always also read this info if you read the premise of the show*

well... cute elf girl is looking for something, and she asks the teen for help to find it; together they go on a search, and long story short; both find themselves brutally murdered by an unforeseen force, and just as the boy is dying, he holds the elf girl's hands, and

poof

he's back, he's standing at the marketplace he had found himself earlier, with everyone not having any sort of memory of what had happened, although he remembers it, he remembers the shear agonizing pain of getting his stomach slashed open, and the assailant playing with his innards as he slowly bled to death, he REMEMBERS each time he dies, and time and time again it begins to happen to him as he tries to make the lives of others around him better. SOME OF THEM IN EXTREMELY GRAPHICAL WAYS (again though one of my fave animes XD)

so I'll say it again

ANIME IS FOR KIDS? um...no.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk XD

[chas111291]

She was my best friend, my hero, my mom.

SATURDAY JULY 24th exactly two weeks ago from today. I wake up to a hot southern sunny day like any other day I call my mother like every morning to tell her I'm stopping by before arriving to work later that evening she tells me okay and that she loved me she was going to lay down for a short nap I'm sitting with my wife while lacing my boots my for work getting ready to head out I get a phone call from my aunt (moms sister) she's frantic screams yours moms not breathing my heart took a nose dive straight to the pit of my stomach I scream to call 911 and don’t stop CPR boots still half way laced me and wife hop in our she only lives bout 3 mins up the road from me so I high tail over there the ambulance was pulling her out while continuing cpr they say headed to the hospital follow us and side note the cop that pulled me off to the side to mention “its a good sign they are taking her to the hospital” I mean sure he meant well but fuck false hope right now I got to get to my mom. So me the wife and my aunt arrive at the hospital in record time we mask up rush in and get the info from them we are told to wait outside we comply. No more than two minutes later a lady comes out no in uniform just a hospital staff badge I knew it wasn’t long she was back there for them to have news already I knew the news was going to be bad. I grabbed my aunt's hand and ushered our way thru the doors. I tell her to say it just say it tell me to my surprise the lady started tearing up before I could react the doctors now come out to tell me Hes sorry for my lose and that they did everything they could in the tiny what 5 mins they had her whatever sure thank you anyways he confirms and what seems like a bad dream everything's falling away from me all around I lose all feeling in my legs brace my back against the cold hospital wall and slowly collapse. My wife lets out a noise of heartbreak and my aunt is I think in shock? They tell me to come tell her goodbye or do our last goodbye whatever I couldn’t physically walk into the room the confusion the questions the agony why is this happening I was coming to see u mom what happen? I went into the room I found the strength somewhere God only knows I sit there with her with my back turned I couldn’t bare to look at her my heart was completely broken. People say heartbreak sometimes hurts physically and I never could relate but they day I understood I got it that day it hurt like hell. Meanwhile my aunt gets a phone call. I'm the youngest (29) out of moms two girls my sister (34) calls and the worse time possible on speaker I head the operator say the usual automated voice recording “ you have a collect call from an inmate at the correctionally blah blah blah my siters been in prison for the past few years old fines recovering addict she's turned her life around me and mom were so proud of all she has accomplished and the changes she had made thus far release date was august 16th so close, eh? It angered me to my soul my mom had been looking forward to that day for a while she was so close I just was anger I was anger at god I was anger at the doctors I was anger at the world anyways my aunt tells her what's happening and she falls silent for what seem like forever and replied with you're lying and messing me stop don’t I cried for her I knew it was going to break my sister she had always feared something would happen while she was away putting her past behind her I just never really thought it would happen anyways she talks to my aunt my wife comes to my side tells me to kiss my mom bye and tell her that I loved her I sit there staring into what seem like nothing then I thought back to just a day ago me and mom had a conversation on her front porch swing and every time I was stressed or just needing advice my mom would reassure me I was okay the best advice I could ever receive and she ended that convo that day like always a hug and I saying she always said to me “you got this” with a smile so back to the hospital room I stood up gave my wife a half grin put  my shoulders back and stood tall kissed my mom's forehead and whisper near her “i got this” and left. That was the worse day of my life I lost my dad back in 2015 I took it pretty hard but this felt different my mom taught me everything I know how to brush my hair how to tuck my baby dolls in as a child I felt emptiness and confusion. She was just fine I never would have thought I would've been there that day going thru the suddenness of everything happening. Honestly the death of my mom and how sudden it was without no warning no nothing has been the hardest part for me emotionally and mental. My dad always taught his two girls work hard for what you got and appreciate it especially the small things don’t take shit from no one and make a good life for self. I work a trucking job my wife works for a nonprofit animal clinic for helping animals. We’ve moved back to my hometown state Mississippi from her home state California talk about a culture shock for her moving here btw lol she's amazing shout out to Tumblr btw for giving us that chance of our paths meeting and finding a love in one another. Okay back to the story I've always worked hard it hasn’t been easy it hasn't been good day after good I've seen some real bad days and vice versa I've never used a GoFundMe hell I didn’t even really know what it was until my wife explained it to me. I live pay check to pay check but I got everything I could ever ask for and a lovely home to come home to. I was just completely blown away when the funeral home gave me a final price I cried and I cried some more I didn't know what I was going to do my sister wasn’t exactly in a big way to help until the 16th when she was released. So I'm taking my time out of today to tell the story of the worst day of my life my best friend my mother my hero and the day I lost her forever. If you still have your parents believe let them hug you even longer than they already, do I'm lost and I'm asking for just the smallest donation of whatever anything will help at the point and I'm already up about $800 out of $4000 for the total cost of putting my mother to rest she wanted to cremated so on the day my sisters get out Aug. 16th is the day I have arranged for her funeral and all services that I got the quote for because I'll be damned, I was letting her miss that. Thank you. I will link my GoFundMe and even if I don’t get anything thank you for taking the time to read and allowing me to open up and talk about it. God knows it's going to be a long hard journey, but hey I GOT THIS.

.https://gofund.me/3f0a19e5 <--- link for donations. thank you.

[saturnaftertaste]

I would love to hear your thoughts on YJS3

sure! fair warning, though, I'm a ranty person by nature so this might end up being a bit long. sorry in advance ♡

anyway! things I liked:

the humor: s3 was pretty funny lmao, theres that whole collection of outta pocket scenes from throughout the season that I find hilarious each time + the humor was a little more dirty which is nice bc the audience has also grown up from the kids they might've been when they watched it on CN

dickbabs!: I'm not a huge fan of dickbabs, I prefer dickkory (no hate to dickbabs stans btw I just vibe more with dickkory) but this dynamic between the two of them was so sweet and well-balanced I couldnt help but squeal everytime they were on-screen

Clark and Conner getting along: them calling each other brothers was so CUTE I canttt

FORAGER: an absolute legend 10/10 freaking love him

That Episode With The Hallucination: mmmmmmm I miss wally. SO MUCH. and the og 6 I was Super Mad about the first timeskip so it was nice to see them all together again🥰

yeah that's about it for things I liked lmao. now time for the Much Longer list of Things I Hated:

HALO: young justice the bar was so fucking low how are you still successfully doing the limbo what the fuck. you take a muslim immigrant in what is VERY CLEARLY a hijab and 1. infantilize her to an exceptionally uncomfortable degree (I KNOW SHE WAS THE MOTHERBOX, I DONT CARE) to the point where she resembles a five-year-old with every sentence she speaks or action she takes 2. you made a visibly muslim girl claim that she's actually no longer muslim, she's just wearing the hijab as some kind of security blanket???? I'm sorry??? what the fuck were you aiming for here exactly 3. why did you have to name her violet harper. what. 4. really?? the immediate romance with brion? What the shit was up with that...you make her Muslim in some aspects like victor not seeing her hair when she brushes it but her LITERALLY making out with brion like I'm sorry what the fuck are you doing??? you had one muslim character and you fucked up so bad holy shit...like...it could've been simple as hell, man, but no...Big Yikes.

M'gann: I've said this before but I really feel like once they introduced artemis m'gann immediately became a side character whose only job is to be villainised again and again even though it doesn't really vibe with her character. Secret teams?? Lying to Conner??? This isn't s3 but that whole thing with their breakup in s2...what the shit are they doing to M'gann, man. I loved her so much in s1, she's literally trying her best after having gone through so much and it's never fully explored...like we get half explanations every season but we're never shown half the shit that we were given for artemis. And by making her the Uncool Girlfriend at points it just looks like they're trying make her easy to hate like what the fuck. no. stop it

The Plot: too overcomplicated, too many characters. It's only season three, why are you introducing Apokolips already. Why are there so many characters?? what's with all the subplots yall were switching location cards every five minutes. And it's so convoluted...like...what was going on with Beast Boy and the monkey-god-doom-patrol-exposition stuff? I can't even remember if there were two granny goodnesses or just the one. All of those meta kids left over from the last season are a cute cast but like...I was so bored??? we know you can do well-written self-contained storylines a la s1, so hop to it, yeah?

THE ANIMATION: ok ok ok so. season 1 and two (one especially) had a very distinct feeling to them and that feeling was very late-2000s Cartoon Network Action Show - the base model for the males and females is the same (like Ben 10 Alien Force) the colors were not dynamic (stayed the same no matter the lighting, lots of cel shading, and generally were realistically colored in the sense that suspension of disbelief was not entirely necessary) CHEEKBONES, gritty textures and purple skies (Batman the Brave and the Bold). overall theres a certain Tone to the earlier seasons that spoke a lot to the animation capabilities of the studios at the time, as well as the general feel of the show. however, season three was a MAJOR downgrade in terms of animation. they made it both simpler and more complicated - they started using their DCAMU animation style which while it does give muscles to the women, adds too many unneeded shadows and a strange stiffness and dullness to every character. There are now extra lines and uncessesary shadows on the face of every character, and their eyes and facial features are almost identical. There's also less highlights, and the hairstyles are way too overcomplicated now to be appealing (see mgann and dick) - the hair is unspeakably dull and and the skin tones and hair colors are painful on the eyes. This isn't even taking into account the shitty backgrounds they've started using (AHEM AHEM ARTEMIS'S KITCHEN) because while the earlier seasons may have had unappealing, mostly empty settings, the characters still fit in to the scene, unlike now.

the lack of sisterhood????: apparently, only artemis goes to see zatanna for her Dr. Fate appointments. Apparently, M'gann barely talks to Artemis after the very tragic apparent death of Wally. the two of them, dare I say even the THREE of them, should be close as hell considering they spent their early years super-heroing together on a team full of boys. M'gann LITERALLY called Artemis her sister in the SAME EPISODE she was introduced, and neither of them had any real girlfriends other than each other at this point. M'gann who fell apart so hard Artemis died in her head that she almost killed them all in her grief. Like. You're telling me, you're SHOWING me that these two aren't each other's support system? Where is the sisterhood, bitch????

Lastly: the costume design. I understand that they're constrained by the need to make it simple enough to animate, but COME ON. if you're going to borrow Diana's DCAMU/JL: War costume, at least keep the metal silver. What the fuck is that green-gold. And Tigress? god DAMN that mask is ugly. Cassie looks like she robbed a goddamn supermarket discount clothing aisle for her outfit. Why is bart's outfit Like That it's so ugly it makes me want to cry. @ young justice costume designers Please Rethink Your Decisions

that's about all I can think of right now. it got REALLY negative whoops, but theres just so much I didn't like about this season :/ hopefully the next one will better ;-;

[vemuabhi]

Disney Romance - Tangled in the Stars - 200 followers special

Hiii ! Thanks a lot for letting me choose 💕 I would like Tangled with female reader and my Sabo boy 🎂 - @pure-kirarin​

A/N : Hey Kirarin chan!! Thanks for the brilliant idea of the 200 followers event. I hope you like this cringe story of mine. Please don’t have any high expectations on it, I may not reach them. I enjoyed writing this story a lot. Please forgive me for any mistakes.

Pairing : Sabo X Fem! Reader

Word count : 2.3 K

Warnings : Angst, fluff, happy ending

Your team were given a mission to infiltrate the base of a well-known Merchant, who was also a kidnapper. To set free all the people who were kidnapped and to hand him over to the revolutionary was your work. But… it felt like, it was already an assigned mission. Brushing the feeling aside, you took on the mission without asking anything else.

Luckily you people achieved success because of your planning. It felt like… it was the first time, your plan was actually implemented, without any ruckus or chaos. But why? Thinking about this, you felt your heart clench and your eyes started to well up.

“Y/N! What happened”, asked Koala as she came towards you. You wiped your tears with your shirt sleeve and gave her a smile. “I feel happy because we completed the mission without any… havoc”, you said trying to brush off the topic.

She kissed your cheek and said, “Aww you are so cute. Btw, we have a break for 3 days before we set sail”.

“Oh that’s great. Do you think there is any-”

“LIBRARY AROUND”, she completed your sentence before you could, making you chuckle. “There is one beside the railway station but, what are you going to read about? The Cursed castle?”, she asked you gaining your complete interest.

“Cursed castle? What is it?”, you asked curiously. Koala raised her eye brow and asked you, “What? You don’t know about that castle? There are so many rumours about that castle”.

“No, can you tell me about it?”, you tugged at her shirt and she closed her eyes and started to think.

“Actually, I’ve heard that there is a place in the forest, where there is a one tower castle. Everyone said that the castle is absolutely beautiful but it is cursed. If an individual steps into the castle, they get cursed”.

“Where is the castle and What is the curse?”, you asked her but she shook her head no and continued, “Sadly, I know nothing more about it”

“Oh… Now I have a even more interesting reason to take a tour of the Library, Thanks Koala”, you said getting up from your place.

“But, what about our shopping, HEY Y/N!!”, she wined

“Rain check”, you said closing the door behind you earning a sigh from her.

You walked quickly towards the library as your heart started to beat faster with each step you took. It was as if you needed to know about it or… like your life depended on it. Reaching the library, you walked quietly into the section of myths of the place. Looking around the shelves about the cursed castle, you found nothing about it. You tried to read and search for anything similar to it, but you found nothing.

“Excuse me, it’s the closing time”, an old woman, who was apparently the librarian, said to you. You looked at the clock and it was 11 pm. Getting up from the place you bowed to the lady and started to walk. Then a closed section of the library caught your eye.

“Sorry mam but, why is this place closed?”, you asked the librarian. She looked at the section and said, “From the time I started working here, it has been closed and no one is allowed in there”.

“Oh… Okay, I’ll leave now. Thanks”, you said and exited the place. After 15 minutes the old lady came out of the library and closed the door. As soon as she left the place and making sure no one was there, you made your way towards the door and opened the lock. Oh c’mon, this lock was a child’s play in front of all the locks that you opened before. Looking back and closing the door silently, you turned the lamp which you held and proceeded towards the closed section. ‘No Trespassing, closed for now’, was written on the door. You raised an eye brow and opened the door as you smirked.

‘The door would be broken by now, if this was read by-’, your thoughts stopped. ‘By whom?’, you thought as you felt the same pain in your heart. You clenched your fist and started to look at the books. They were mostly about the place’s history on the dark side and also the war plans used in the past.

‘Should I give up?’, you thought but again you felt a sting in your heart, as if you were supposed to search for it. You looked at all the books but couldn’t find even a similar book regarding it. You placed the books as they were and turned to leave the place even though your heart felt like it was crying with pain. Just as when you were about to leave, a painting caught your attention.

You went towards it and lifted your lamp to see it clearly. You saw that, it was a painting of a castle. ‘A one tower castle’, you thought as you saw the painting even more carefully. There was a full moon in the sky, the waterfall in the background. The sky was filled with so many stars and when observed carefully, there you saw a guy, with blond hair staring at the stars. For some reason, your heart started to beat faster than usual looking at the man in the painting. Suddenly the man moved and went inside the castle. ‘What the hell? Did he just move?’, freaking out, you took a chair and climbed on it, to touch the painting.

As your hand came in contact with the painting, you got dragged into it. You screamed as you hit the hard surface.

“Ouch! What the…”, you said as you placed your hand on your back and looked around you. It was a beautiful room, coloured with royal gold and had red carpet on the floor.

“WHO ARE YOU?”, you turned towards the voice of the person. Your (eye colour) orbs met with black orbs of a man with blond hair. He was lean and tall, also had a scar on his left eye. Your heart started to beat faster as you looked at him as if you already knew him.

He gulped as he clenched his fists and asked again, “How did you come here? Who are you?”, you blinked your eyes and got up quickly. “I have no idea how I got here. I was in a library looking at a painting one moment and then suddenly I got here”, you said and looked around.

“What happened? Why are you crying?”, he asked you. You didn’t even notice that you were crying till he mentioned, wiping your tears, you said, “It’s.. It’s nothing, I just felt like, you were familiar”.

He exhaled and nodded. “I feel the same, as if we met before, but I don’t know you”

“Is that so… What are you doing here in this castle?”

“I… I think I am the owner of this place. I can’t go out”, he said looking down.

“Oh… Can you show me the exit?”, you asked him hoping to just leave the castle.

“Exit? This place has no exit. I searched but couldn’t find”, he said to your surprise. ‘What the hell is this new problem’, you thought as you looked around.

He walked towards the window and leaned his elbows on the window sill. Looking at the stars he said, “You can’t find it. You won’t be able to. I also want to leave”

“Didn’t you ever think about escaping?”, you asked him as he continued to stare at the sky. “I don’t know. When ever I think about it, I get the question of, why I should even leave?”

‘I don’t know what is happening with this guy but… I guess if I involve, I’ll definitely be in a big problem’, you thought

“That’s pretty lonely stuff right there. What is your name? I’m Y/N by the way”

“I…”, he turned towards you and continued, “Sabo… yeah, Sabo is my name”.

“Oh okay then Sabo, even if you don’t wanna go, I intend to leave. My friends are waiting for me”, you said, ignoring the fact that your heart was beating faster because of him, as if he was the answer, but… to what?

“Friends?”, he asked

“Yeah, So, Sabo… wanna escape if you have a chance?”, you asked him. Why do you want him to come with you? What is this blond man having this effect on you?

“Can I? Are you sure that I can?”, he asked clearly wanting to know the answer.

“Yeah, how about jumping from here for starters sake?”, you ask him but he shakes his head no.

“I tried. I got back here again”, he sighed and continued, “I even tried to destroy the castle but nothing happened to it. It feels like, its mocking me for being the strongest”

He again looked out the window and said, “I don’t know if it’s a riddle that needs to be solved but, I feel like the stars are trying to say something. But I can’t understand what”. You look at the stars and then you see that, some stars are in the shape of the letter ‘J’. You walked towards the window and stood beside him. You remember teaching someone about constellations before. But… who was it?

“You… you are correct. The stars… It’s a constellation”, you replied to him and he perked up with curiosity. You observed the constellation and your hunch was correct. Pointing towards the stars, you said, “See, its looking like a letter ‘J’ if you observe”, he keenly observed and yes it was a visible to him.

“Yes, so what does it mean?”, he asked you and you continued, “Its Scorpius, according to the Greek mythology, it represents the deadly scorpion that kills Orion, the hunter, who was really proud of himself for his hunting abilities. Once there was a hunter, Orion, bragged to kill the animals of the world, but Apollo, sky god, didn’t like his attitude, so he sent a scorpion, who would end the hunter, Orion”, he placed his hand on his head and closed his eyes tightly.

“What happened?”, you questioned him.

“It… it just feels like… someone used to talk with me about constellations before. But I can’t seem to remember”, he admitted and then enquired, “So, why do you think the stars were trying to convey it?”

“I may be wrong but… I feel like, the castle is like the hunter. You said that, it was mocking you. But I feel like, it can be destroyed”, you ended as you took Sabo’s hand in yours and walked towards the centre of the castle. If you weren’t so concentrated to destroy the castle, you could’ve heard how loud Sabo’s heart beat was getting.

You observed that, the celling indeed had designs of Scorpius and Orion on it, with a star between them. Pointing towards it, you said, “Lets aim the star between Orion and the Scorpius”. Without hesitating, Sabo nodded and you both aimed at it and placed a single hit. Suddenly, the castle started to shake and cracks were forming quickly.

“I think we did it”, you said and then gasp suddenly, you felt Sabo pick you up like a princess and run towards the window. “We don’t have all day, Lets jump”, he said before jumping. You hugged him tight and he also did the same.

After you two tightly held each other, you didn’t feel any ground hit you. You both opened your eyes and you both were in the dimly lit, library room, where you were searching for the book and found the painting.

You looked up and saw that, you were still holding Sabo… Sabo, your boyfriend, whom you forgot about.

“Sabo? Why did I forget you?”, you asked him tears threatening to fall from your eyes, as he looks at you. He exhales and looks around the place and then at you again.

“Y/N! Its you. Its you!”, he exclaimed as you hugged you tightly. Pulling back he kissed the tears on your cheeks.

“Why did I forget you? It felt like no one remembered you? You were the one who was assigned this mission. How did this happen?”, you wine and sob at the same time.

“When I reached this place, the merchant wasn’t in town, so we decided to wait to catch him and free the new kidnapped people he would bring with him. But I got to know about this cursed castle and infiltrated this library to find book, that you’d like to read about it. Then I broke this door open and tried to bring the painting to you. Then got stuck in it”, he wiped the tears again from your cheeks and continued, “I didn’t remember anyone from this world, but I swear, I missed you. Thankyou for coming here and saving me, Y/N”, he said as he leaned his forehead to yours.

“I… I missed you too. I felt like there was something missing always. I used to cry without any reason”, you sobbed as he nodded and apologised for making you cry. You both exited the library after a while and headed towards the room you were given, still holding hands.

“You know, we found the merchant and freed the people who were kidnapped. For the first time no one messed up my plan”, you said to him only to receive a chuckle in return.

“Is that so. I hope its enough for this life. Get ready now because, your plans will be disturbed again”, he said making you laugh.

After reaching the room, you and Sabo cuddled next to each other as you both tried to sleep. You both kissed goodnight and slept. The next day, everyone were shocked to see and also remember Sabo. They were so confused at the incident and couldn’t figure out why they forgot about Sabo. You both never mentioned about the incident and the cursed castle painting was destroyed thanks to you two. He was the answer that you were looking for.

XOXOXOXO

I hope you liked it! Thankyou for reading. I am no expert in all the constellations. I just did some research on it. Nothing more. Sorry if I made any mistakes.

Like and comment your feelings.

Follow for more!

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

[poptod]

All That Is and Forever Shall Be (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Description: Being a ghost in the middle of nowhere, tied to a church no one knows exists can be very lonely. Fortunately for you, a man is trying to make himself lonely, and subsequently gains your friendship that he didn’t ask for. 

Prompt: Abandoned churches

Notes: I know I’m kind of branching out of my usual Ahk/Kenny stuff, but I’ve been really busy lately and all I have are nearly-finished W.I.P.s I abandoned months ago. Sorry. As with most of my stories, I implore you to read them as stories, not as xreaders, because I severely let people down when it comes to fluffy interactions n such. Gender neutral again but fair warning, you’ve got a Scottish accent. btw i wrote this before my obsessive hatred of anything disney came up so

Word Count: 5.4k AO3 Link: All That Is and Forever Shall Be

No one visits my grave anymore, you thought to yourself drearily. The wind shivered through grass at your feet, howling through the holes in stone walls but not brushing your skin. You sat against said stone wall, one of the ends of the abandoned church of which was lined all round with gravestones, rotting away and empty with skeletons and vermin. Though above clouds promised a hefty storm, the wild sheep grazing outside the church’s fence didn’t make any move to seek shelter under the roof. Sighing once more you shifted in your seated position, wondering where everyone had gone.

Surely you weren’t alone - surely there had to be others like you. Not devout enough for heaven and not murderous enough for hell, but simply mundane and lonely enough to be cast back to the earth to wander as spirits. Though, you supposed, no one had dug a grave there in centuries, and during the time you were buried, it was odd if not damning to not be religious. Yet that was exactly what you were, an atheistic, boring farmer, who had no family and no children to speak of, leaving naught a person to seek your only remnants of what was once a life.

Hundreds of years must have passed since you died, but you would never know. The headstone with your name written on it (albeit blurred and dulled with time) tied you to the church, and you could never leave. For all you knew, all of humanity was dead. Or living on the moon.

Ultimately, on a day when it was raining hard enough to fill another ocean, you (or your anxieties) were proven wrong. From off in the distance came movement. High upon a distant hill a tall form lumbered near, dressed in dark clothing in a fashion you had never seen before. In patience grown from years built upon each other you watched, noting the sun behind you shining more red and vibrant than ever before growing dimmer, till the shadows cast the same as the light, and you could just barely make out the face of the distant man.

His face drooped wearily, limping as he moved and keeping his eyes down. Ragged, black hair fell from his head and covered a good deal of his face, shielding him from your view. Tilting your head to the side you noted weapons, a good many of them, hidden away in the folds of his clothing, strapped to his body with leather and blended in quite well with the various buckles and straps adorned like wreaths along his legs, torso, and shoulders.

As usual, there was no indication he saw you. From the way his eyes darted to each sheep upon their movement you could tell he was on edge, looking for suspicion even in the most innocent of animals, thus leaving no possibility that if you were visible he would not have seen you. You figured as much, seeing as the sheep never bothered about you too much - at least not unless you interfered with them.

Phasing through the wall you watched him clear a corner of the church, setting his bags down on the stone floor that had managed to not be ravaged by various wars. There was no fireplace, but seeing as the entire building was made of stone he simply gathered twigs from faraway trees, pulling a small box out of his satchel. In interest you came closer, and with your eyes pressed right up to his hands he struck a light. You gasped, watching how he made fire with such ease, lighting the wood and enveloping the long empty walls with warmth and familiarity. 

He set the small box on the floor, crouching down next to his bags. Though you weren’t very good at it you could read, carefully reading over the words on the box. Strike anywhere matches, it read.

What matches? You wondered.

In the corner the man mumbled to himself, nonsensical sounds you couldn’t make out as words. From his various bags he pulled a blanket, thick and warm, wrapping himself up in it in front of the fire. You sat beside him, watching the flames sing with their crackling. Every now and then he’d push his hand back into his bag, pulling out something to eat. You couldn’t tell what it was, but he seemed to like it.

Now near to him, you tried to get a grasp on what he looked like beneath unruly hair and grime covering his face, noticing cold eyes and a sharp jaw. Full lips, rounded nose, nice cheekbones. Closer, his hair wasn’t as dark as you’d originally thought - more of a brown than a black, though perhaps that was just the fire playing tricks on your own eyes. 

The rain brought its’ wrath above you, pounding on the sound structure of the roof. Looking the ceiling you thanked whomever for your inability to feel its’ sting, and cursed the very same for the lack of warmth the fire brought. 

The sound of writing came from beside you, curiosity forcing you to look to the man beside you. He had pulled a leather-bound book out of his satchel, along with a wooden pencil, and was writing in it. Illegible to you, but the scribbles were clearly english. In the margins were sketches, scenery, and a lot of sheep and goats. You chuckled, looking at the silly tongue sticking out of a goats’ mouth. He sniffed, stopping to rub his eyes from the raw feeling fire might bring before resuming his task.

This continued only a moment more before he tied the book back together, sealing it from your use. Setting it beside his makeshift bed he settled down, enveloping his entire body in the warm blankets he’d taken with him. You leaned against the wall, watching his breathing slow, watching as the fire died. Sometime in the middle of the night he began shivering, and you glanced at him, wishing you could’ve helped.

Curse my form, you thought to yourself, leaving the church to stand outside. To his luck the rain had lightened, the drafts of wind no longer pouring water through the holes in the walls, though the ocean that spanned in front of you forever would bring cold air that would surely freeze you, if you could only feel it.

You stayed there, sitting on a nearby boulder, waiting for when the sun would rise.

When at last from behind light came, signaling the beginning of dawn, rustling caught your attention. Inside the man had woken and you rushed to see him, watching him tie his hair back. Outside he wandered, coming to the rocky edge of the ocean and dipping his hands in the freezing water. With that he splashed it on his face, cleansing his skin of the dirt that had riddled it so heavily the night before. Shaking his hands dry he turned back around, showing cleaner features like you’d never seen before.

He looked much better, a little more calm at least, without the weight of all that on him.

You followed after him when he went inside, watching him patting a carefree sheep on the head as he entered. He restarted the fire the same way he had at first, with the strike anywhere matches. The two of you, ignorant of the other, huddled around it, the occasional sniff or shuffle of cloth interrupting an otherwise elongated silence. After a moment he pulled another item you assumed was food out of his ratted bag, impaling it with a nearby stick and holding it over the fire.

It grew darker as the flames grew warmer, nearly enveloping the stick to the point where it was hard to see the food. He just kept it there, letting it burn, before pulling it out right as it began to light aflame. Blowing a quick breath on it the small spark was extinguished, and he let it sit in the air before nibbling away.

How odd, you thought to yourself.

The rest of the day he did little else but unpack. Though he carried little, he seemed to want to make a stay longer than one night. Out of his various bags and satchels came food, blankets, and trinkets, many of which you couldn’t define any use for. Some were carvings of animals, others stones - just plain and simple stones. Some were shells, or sticks with bark and lichen growing on it. He set these things neatly in a row on a flat rock that had made its’ way inside the church, the corners of his lips twisting up into a crooked half smile when they were all ordered in a clean fashion.

That night he did not stay inside to write, or tend to a fire. He sat outside, on the grassy plain before the short drop onto the rocky terrain that lined the ocean’s shore. Book in left hand and pencil in right he began drawing dots, staring up at the sky every so often. Sitting beside him, following his eyesight you realized he was cataloguing the stars, finding shapes you’d never quite seen before.

With a hefty sigh he closed his book, simply staring up at the sky, before taking another breath and closing his eyes. In curiosity you kept staring at him, trying to find some answer in his silence, or a longing in his movement. There was none. 

You could not sleep. You dare not dream, as any dream would bring you closer to heaven or hell, and you would never chance the thought of hell. The man seemed similarly fashioned as you were, cut from the same cloth of sleepless, endless nights. In simple terms he did not sleep well that night, staring up at the dusty ceiling, hands folded together on his stomach and eyes wide. Through grunts and sighs, tossing and flipping he fell into an uneasy sleep, brows furrowed as he tugged at the soft blanket around him.

He seemed grumpy the next morning. Curt with every action, growling when things didn’t work well. When an unfortunate strike anywhere match did not do its’ intended duty, he threw the box to the ground, hiding his head in his hands and groaning loudly. You almost laughed, if you hadn’t been so worried of being heard. There was little cause for your worry, but it would’ve been rude if that was your first true interaction with him. 

From his bed he grabbed a large, fur coat, one that he used as an extra blanket, and tugged it over his shoulders and arms. Wrapping the belts tightly around him he sheathed each dagger and otherworldly weapon safely in each designated pocket, pulling a smaller bag over his shoulders and promptly leaving.

As you watched him climb over the hills you wondered to yourself, would he ever come back? You supposed, most likely, he would. What with the delicate care he took lining all of his stones and twigs together, he wouldn’t forget them, or his giant, fuzzy blanket, or the pillows, or the strike anywhere matches. Those seemed important too. 

To pass the time you took up your regular activities you had before the man had come. Wailing dramatically at your gravestone, staring wistfully into the distance at the shore of the ocean as waves crashed, petting sheep and desperately wishing you could actually feel them. Sheep, you’d discovered many years ago, were somewhat in tune with the dead. They would approach you sometimes, or avoid you if you’d somehow wronged them. Most of the time, if you were petting them, they’d stay still and push up into your hand as though you were really there. It was something you enjoyed immensely; a reminder that you existed. That your life wasn’t a fever dream.

Eventually, some time in the afternoon, he returned. Humming to himself a tune you didn’t know, he seemed in happier spirits than he was before, though keeping his coat on as he started no fire. Instead he pocketed one rock in one of his absurdly large pockets, had all his bags set down, and walked right back outside. With stumbling footsteps you followed behind, but as he wandered too far down the coast, leisurely strolling and taking in the views (though his left hand kept checking his knife was still there), you were very abruptly cast right back to the church.

You’d strayed too far from your grave, and now you sat upon it, cursing yourself once more. You kept your knee high, letting you push your chin against it to rest your head, though it needed no resting. In a somewhat maddening manner, you had no weight, no tangible existence, thus relaxing your head on your hand or knee did little for anything or anyone. Sitting grumpily on your gravestone, you waited for his return. He was the only entertaining thing around.

From the horizon he came, making you practically jump and gasp at his return. He breathed in deep, calm breaths, a contrast from his frustrating morning. Reentering the church he pulled another pebble out of his pocket, holding it in a large hand before setting it carefully alongside the rest of his collection. You watched from behind him, wondering if this was a religious ceremony.

The rest of the evening was spent watching him, notebook in hand, wander through the graveyard. Many of the names you recognized, as you had watched them be buried. You, however, were the first one to be lain underground, thus making your headstone the oldest. When at last he came to the front of the church, where the first stone had been cast, you fidgeted, wondering anxiously whether your name was even readable to someone who had never read your name before. 

It must’ve been hard at least, as he crouched down, squinting his eyes, pencil ready to write down the name as he had been doing with each of the others graves. He tapped the end of his pencil against his chin, continuing his rather menacing gaze, before seemingly understanding.

“Ah,” he said to himself, turning to the white pages of his book to write. “(Y/N) (L/N).”

You smiled, a giddy feeling blooming in your heart as he stood. As he turned, before he could even fully process what had happened, he jumped ten feet in the air, staring directly at you, panting with wide eyes. Despite his obviously much larger form he kept his hands defensively in front of him, his feet taking a firm stance in the wet dirt.

For a moment all you did was stare at each other, confused and perturbed in every sense of the word. 

“I… I can see through you. Thought… thought you, uh, might like to know that,” he said, and you could feel the smoothness of his voice in your mind, how warm it was and as deep as the sea his eyes held. You could barely understand him through a thick accent you’d never heard before.

“I know,” was all you could think to say. “I’m (Y/N). The, uh, one on th’ grave.”

He frowned, disbelieving. “No you’re not,” he claimed.

“I am. I can’t believe you can see me, actually, I haven’t been visible for many a year.”

“How do I know you aren’t lying?”

“Lying is a sin. I’m also see through.”

“Good point,” he mumbled gruffly, pocketing his notebook in another absurdly large coat pocket and wrapping the fur tight around him. He glanced at you warily, almost a scowl, before turning and going back inside the church. With light steps you followed, watching him sit down and start another fire.

With a bright spark a small flame started, growing higher and higher till it began to burn through large bricks of wood. You had so many questions for him, practically vibrating to hold back your need to ask them. What was life like? How many people were there? What new things had been found? Why had the church been abandoned?

At last when you couldn’t contain it anymore, you asked your most pertinent question.

“What’s your name?”

You leaned closer, kneeling beside him, eager for an answer. His eyes darted up at you from his crouched position, looking quickly back at the fire when he caught your gaze.

“Bucky,” he mumbled.

“Thas’ a nice name there,” you said quietly, matching his volume. “Was it yer’ fathers?”

“No,” he answered curtly.

“Oh. My name was a family name. Don’t mean much now I s’pose.”

In sudden movements he turned his body to face you, asking, “how long have you been here?”

“A good while now,” you shrugged. You hadn’t bothered to count the days, thinking it’d surely drive you mad.

“So you’ve been, uh, watching me,” he confirmed, his eyebrows still knitted together crossly.

“A tad. I think yer… interesting,” you settled on, smiling sweetly as you tried to catch his eye that had wandered to the ground.

“Hardly,” he muttered, turning back to the fire. You hummed, keeping your frown to yourself.

You only waited a few more seconds before asking more questions.

“What’s life like now? A haven’ been able t’ see for m’self.”

“Loud and crowded.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Can we breathe underwater?”

He turned to you, an amused but befuddled expression on his face.

“Not that I know of,” he answered. “Are you gonna leave me alone or not?”

You shifted uncomfortably, keeping your shoulders tense as you wondered whether you should lie to him or not. Could you even go back to being invisible?

“A don’t know. I cannae leave the church, but I s’pose I could try to go invisible,” you suggested meekly. “Why can’t you leave? Since you don’t like me.”

“I didn’t say that,” he snapped quickly, glancing to you for a second before looking right back at his well tended fire. “Don’t bother. With the whole invisible thing.”

“Oaye,” you said with a nod, curling up beside him, wondering if you’d ever achieve a form to feel warmth.

The two of you sat quietly, him staring at the fire unblinking, and you watching both the flames and him. Once a few minutes had passed, you noticed his eyes reddening with tears, a few trailing down his cheeks.

“You alright?”

“Yes. My eyes just burn,” he explained quickly, taking his sleeve and wiping them away with a sniff. You looked over the coat, noticing how warm it must’ve kept him.

“Where’d y’ get th’ coat?”

“… a friend,” he grumbled.

“Is very nice,” you commented, holding back the urge to reach out. It looked so soft, the fur fluttering in the wind, but you knew you wouldn’t have felt it no matter.

He grunted, but otherwise stayed silent. In all truth he felt very little animosity towards you, as you hadn’t done a mean thing yet, but as in all cases of meeting people, he was wary. Careful. You noticed this behavior, and to his gratefulness, respected his need for distance.

As the sky grew dark he tightened the drooping robes around him, sealing himself in warmth. Glancing quickly at him you noticed tired eyes, and began counting down the minutes to when he would fall asleep. You leaned forward, flames licking away at your unfeeling cheek.

“You going t’ sleep?”

“No,” he said, his eyes suddenly opening wide as he grasped at his large coat blanket, the creases growing larger with tension.

“Is fine if ye do. I’ll… go outside.”

You dwelled in his silence, watching carefully for his movement. A few more seconds of waiting proved fruitful as he slowly shifted, lumbering to his feet, and half waddling over to his makeshift bed. 

“The sheep need t’ be sheared. Could make a nice bed,” you commented in a dismissive manner, floating on through the wall. Inside you heard a soft flump, and the sound of ragged breath as the fire dimmed to an ember. 

Though you’d spent forever in solitude, it felt eons longer waiting for the sun. It was the first time since you died that you were able to talk to someone and earn a reply - the feeling, though anxious, was divine, and for a moment it felt as though you were real. That you were material, that you mattered, but you knew better. Everything would remind you that you knew better. You could stand in fire and survive, wade in the deepest oceans if only not tied to your headstone. 

And you could not feel his touch. Not once did you even try, and neither did he, out of respect for his boundaries, and fear of your own sheer existence. 

Perhaps you one day would feel. Your sensory deprivation was a special kind of hell, but you held hope, a thing that was not deserved.

The mornings arrival brought an end to dark thoughts. You stuck your head through the wall, watching the mound of blankets in the corner rise to reveal a dark matted head of hair. He stretched his arms high, letting out a light yawn before he stood.

“Mornin’ Bucky,” you said, shifting through the rest of the wall with a bright and friendly smile. He mumbled incoherently to himself, rubbing his face. “Anything t’ do today?”

“Going into town.”

You wanted desperately to come with. So much so in fact, that you almost asked, before remembering that it was futile anyways. You watched him sling bags over his shoulders, tightening belts and pulling his massive coat onto his arms.

“What are y’ gonna get?” You asked instead, eyes trailing after him as he left the church.

“You’ll see,” he said, which was not at all comforting. You frowned, making a grumbling noise to indicate your dissatisfaction with your answer. As he left you could see him just barely smile.

Patiently you waited, seated atop your grave, letting your finger drift through the grass, watching it part just slightly. With great concentration you could move tiny parts of the physical world, but it was never something you quite needed to do. What with being dead and all, you had close to no necessities, except an endless boredom which you’d gotten quite good at curbing.

When at last his matted hair rose above the grassy hills in the distance you looked up, watching him as he walked closer. His bag, hanging from his right shoulder, drooped heavily from his body, weighing down and creasing the material. He came to stand in front of you, dropping to his knees. Quietly, you watched him dig into the bag, pulling out a strange, silver rectangular object, decorated with knobs and dips all over it.

“What is it?” You asked, letting your hand phase through it.

“Called a radio. Got it at a thrift store,” he told you in a mumble, keeping his voice low. While you had absolutely no idea what a radio was or a thrift store (you could safely assume things were bought and sold there), a grin parted your lips.

“What’s it do?” You tried to interact physically with it, pressing a knob and letting it turn. In fascination you giggled, your eyes wide as you watched the different knobs turn.

“Plays music. Or just voices,” he said, pressing a button to the side of it.

Out of the silver box sprang a tune, singing brightly through crackling noises, filling up the old abandoned graveyard. You laughed, astounded at the sound, feeling your heart burst with joy. It had been so long you’d gone without music - it hadn’t ever crossed your mind, but now that you could hear it once more, you realized just how much you needed it.

“Woah! That’s… fantastic!” You gasped, getting down on the ground to look at the box from a different angle. “Where are the voices comin’ from?”

“Um… they can record sound now, and replay it, so that’s… kind of what’s happening,” he tried to explain, doing a poor job of it and drifting off when he found he had little idea what he was talking about. You didn’t mind though. All that mattered was that the voices were singing brightly, and that he’d done this for you.

“Thank you, so much,” you said with an air of amazement, looking up at him from your position on the ground.

“It’s just a thing,” he mumbled.

“Not to me.”

He swallowed thickly, turning away from you with a red face. You laughed, closing your eyes to enjoy the music more. Lying down, your hands intertwined on your chest, you could hear it better, just listening to the melody and the instruments you could never name. He listened just the same, keeping his eye on the horizon, and his knees close to his chest.

For a good while he sat with you, his foot tapping up and down anxiously and much faster than the beat of the music. When a particularly slow song ended he stood, stepping over your body even though he could’ve walked straight through. Societal norms, you explained to yourself, relaxing right back into the music.

When night approached the music stopped, and instead voices came. Just talking to each other, having some sort of conversation. Still you listened, absorbing the information they gave and understanding little.

You opened your eyes to the stars, and listening a little too closely to the voices you were surprised to see Bucky suddenly standing above you, covered in his furs and looking as tall and mean as ever.

“Are you coming inside?” Was all he asked, but the question confused you. Did he want you inside? Why would he want you inside? You would never actually voice these questions, but watching him stare at you with a rather angry expression, you needed to answer. 

“Uh - yes! Of course,” you said, stumbling to your feet. He grunted, reaching down to turn off the radio and gather it in his arms. You followed behind him into the church, hearing the fire crackle before you could see it. Inside was warm as ever, the light dancing in tandem with the shadows, intertwining around his shadow body and ignoring you entirely.

With a soft fwump he sat on the ground, on a rather soft looking cushion that you hadn’t seen before. Sitting beside him caused no creases, but gravity still seemed to work on you, making your body lean into his, but you pulled yourself away, still refraining from touching him.

He acted a very sensitive fellow, and though quiet and brooding, you knew saying little did not mean he felt little. On the contrary the people you’d met who were quiet often felt emotion intensely, and watching him set the radio on the ground gingerly, you kept this in mind. 

“It ’twas very kind of ye t’ get me that,” you said quietly, tilting your head to him with the prettiest eyes you could manage. He stiffened, pursing his lips together. This time he had no answer for you, just a silent and tiny turn of the head away from you.

Still you smiled, letting it reach your eyes and crinkle the pale, dead skin there. 

The rest of the evening he wrote in his little book, turning away from you whenever you tried to peer over his shoulder.

“I cannae read it anyway, yer handwritin’ is godawful,” you grumbled, crossing your arms. 

“It’s the principle of the thing,” he replied, and you didn’t really know what principle meant, but he smiled, so you did as well. After that, despite telling you off so many times, he let you look over his shoulder. You kept at a safe distance, watching him write but not near enough to be breathing in his ear.

As the fire began to dim he closed up the book, setting another log on the fire to keep it going till he fell asleep. You sat to the side of his pillow as he lay down, bringing the blankets over his body.

“What do ye write about in there?” You asked quietly, watching him intently as light flickered across his face. He sighed, rolling onto his side and looking up at you.

“My day. Or friends, sometimes memories,” he answered in an almost solemn tone, gentle and quiet.

“Memories?”

“I don’t remember stuff well. So when I do, I write it down,” he explained, half mumbling into his pillow. “I dunno, it’s stupid.”

“I think it’s sweet,” you hummed, running your hand over the stone of the floor. Lately you’d been practicing interacting more with the world, what with being visible again. He made a grumbling noise that sounded a bit like he was choking, pulling the blankets up to his nose. “What about your friends?”

“What about them,” he said flatly, voice muffled by the blanket.

“What are they like?”

Pondering your question before he answered, he shifted beneath the covers.

“I only have two,” he started, but you quickly interrupted.

“And me,” you said, earning a dissatisfied grunt.

“You’re dead.”

“And I don’t matter any less,” you defended. He hummed in quiet agreement before continuing.

“Steve’s nice. Big guy, bigger than me.”

You didn’t think that possible - Bucky was already enormous compared to you and everyone you knew.

“Then there’s… uh, Sam. I guess he counts. He’s a bit of an ass really,” he chuckled and you followed. “I forgot about Natasha. She’s a good fighter. Did a lot of shit to get like that, too.”

“Sounds like a fun group,” you said. He nodded, yawning and closing his eyes. You left it at that, waiting till his breathing was rough and even till you left to stare at the stars, and wonder what they might condemn or bless you to. 

In the morning he came outside, sitting beside you before you even realized he was awake. Yawning, wrapped in his fur blankets the two of you stared out over the ocean. He kept silent, the slow breathing matching the crashing movement of the waves. 

“I was thinking,” he said, his voice a murmur like the crackling of a dying storm. You turned, facing him, your head supported by your knees. “What ties you to your grave?”

“Probably my body.”

“Wouldn’t it have decomposed by now?”

“Decomp-what?”

“Long explanation,” he said, looking like he regretted bringing it up. “But I don’t think your body is… there anymore.”

“Who took it?”

“The ground did.”

“Oh.”

“So if it’s not your body, what do you think is tying you there?”

“My name holds power,” you said, recalling different tales. “Given to a witch she has power o’er me. Given to you, you may see me. It might be that.”

“What do you think’ll happen if we… erased your name from the headstone?” He asked, glancing in your direction but not fully meeting your gaze.

“Might disappear. Might be tied to you,” you shrugged.

“Tied to me?”

“You’ve got my name written in that there book,” you said, pointing towards his notebook poking out of his pocket. Shifting, he tucked it in deeper. He mumbled something you couldn’t quite hear, and patiently you asked him to repeat himself.

“It wouldn’t be that bad,” he said louder, still mumbling, a red blush gracing his cheeks that you could just barely see behind his falling hair.

“No,” you said, brushing his hair behind his ear. He shivered, fighting to lean into and away from your touch. “It wouldn’t be bad at all. Just… make sure you don’t lose your notebook.”

“Right,” he murmured.

Later that day you sat on your gravestone, watching as below you he took a stone, scratching out your name.

“Tell me if you feel something change,” he said, wiping the dust off the first letter gone. You nodded silently, somehow knowing you’d be alright. And if you weren’t, that’d be fine too. You’d been tied to your grave for far too long to care. 

As the last letter of your last name was swiped away, you expected something - an emotion, a movement, but nothing in the world swayed. All that was remained, including you, staring at the man before you. 

“I s’pose I belong t’ you now,” you murmured with a smile, one he easily returned.

“Guess so.”

“Does it bother you?”

“No..,” he said quietly, his fingers hovering over yours, tangling till they connected with yours. “Not at all.”