#used 'you' instead of 'us' because it's easier to write
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Arcane Season 2: Vi Character Analysis and Speculations
It’s been a while since I’ve done a character analysis, and what better way to write one after watching the first three episodes of the second season of Arcane? This is just my interpretation and analysis, so it might not be the same as other people’s, and that’s okay! There will be major spoilers ahead, though, so please read at your own risk!
We’re all anxious to see what’s to become of Vi in Act 2 of season 2, and rightfully so, considering how badly Caitlyn fucked up. Despite the pain we feel for Vi in that scene, we can still sympathize with Caitlyn as her grief is taking charge over her rational thinking, but at that moment, Vi looks as if her whole world has crumbled.
Despite the jokes people have made online posting pictures of Vi’s models from season 1 and season 2, namely during her pit fighter era, with texts all saying something along the lines of, “This is what a lesbian situationship does to someone.” In a way, they’re right, but it holds a deeper meaning than just that.
Vi grew up with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Vander always told her she would be held responsible for whatever happened to Mylo, Claggor, and Powder– or Jinx. The first, and probably only person that had told her that whatever happened to her sister wasn’t her burden to bear was Caitlyn, so her betrayal hits hard. Vi finally thinks she’s found someone that won’t hold her accountable for the atrocities her sister commits, someone she’s comfortable showing vulnerability to.
Vi understands Powder died as soon as she was arrested, though it takes the entirety of season 1 to fully grasp that because, to her, time stopped. She was convinced she’d come back to that same little girl she abandoned against her will, but instead, she came back to an unstable person hellbent on chaos. Trying to live in a world that moved on was a difficult transition for her, only made easier by Caitlyn giving her a place to stay for a time, and running to her for comfort after her mother’s passing. She felt responsible for everything that happened, and it takes a soft moment between the two to make her truly understand that she doesn’t have to shoulder the burden of the casualties in the explosion.
Then the fight happens, and Vi stops Caitlyn from shooting Jinx and Isha.
“I keep telling myself that you’re different, but you’re not. It’s her blood in your veins.” “Then why are you the one acting like her?!”
The butt of a gun to the gut– the exact same place where Sevika had stabbed her in season 1 to be exact– and a glare from Caitlyn are the last things Vi receives before being left completely alone. We can see the absolute devastation on her face as she’s left completely alone, in pain and hurting, as the one person who she felt saw her as more than Jinx’s big sister leave her.
From what we know about Vi as a character, is that she knows that she, as a Zaunite, is frowned upon, and she will never be treated with respect. Caitlyn only solidifies this belief by how she lashes out at her for stopping her from killing Jinx and Isha in the crossfire.
So where does that leave Vi? In a place between Zaun and Piltover, unable to belong in either city as they’re torn apart by Jinx’s revolution and Ambessa’s declaration of martial law, working as a pit fighter to make ends meet and drowning herself in liquor. Caitlyn’s betrayal hurts more than anything Silco or Jinx could do to her because she truly, genuinely, loved her, and thought she did the same. Why wouldn’t she fall deeper into the pit she dug for herself, using black face paint and hair dye to forget about the person she was that foolishly fell for Caitlyn Kiramman?
With that said, I’m very excited and terrified of where Vi’s story is going to take us in Act 2. November 16th can’t come any sooner.
#arcane#arcane season 2#vi#arcane season 2 spoilers#character analysis#arcane vi#league of legends#arcane lol#shrimp's analysis
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Childe being really smug about having this much of a fanbase in the internet and then. Finding tumblr. Finding this blog.
He's so confused.
It's not him being the darling, but the side of him formed in the abyss?
And then cue our Mothman equally confused but so happy. They are all here for them? Not for the human half?
I would snuggle our moth and never leave their side. Ever.
Childe, listen, i like you too but if i had to pick you or Foul Legacy i'd go with Foul Legacy. i cannot resist soft fluffy moth
because Foul Legacy is so used to being in the shadows, only used for Childe's most desperate moments. Legacy doesn't deserve or need love- such sweet emotions are reserved for humans, and he is anything but that. a weapon, a monster, yes- but not human, and he knows he'll never be human. he's fine with it, mostly. Childe treats him well and gives him blood and battles because that's all he needs, and the rest of Legacy's time is spent either dozing or idly watching the outside world from within the Harbinger's body, and everything is ordinary and dull- until he meets you
you're not scared or disgusted at all- in fact, the first thing you say to him, to Foul Legacy, is that he's beautiful, gently holding his face in your hands
he likes it- that's what the warm feeling in his chest is, right? your words are soft, comforting, and Legacy finds himself purring whenever you happen to wander into Childe's view. you love the Eleventh Harbinger as well, but there's a special affection reserved only for his Abyssal side, something that confuses both Childe and Foul Legacy. but Legacy finds that he adores your attention, his heart melting from your simply kindness as he trills and snuggles closer to you, bumping his head against your shoulder happily, a sponge for your affection. you can't really blame him- he's gone so long without it already
he thinks that tomorrow he'll give you a flower. that's what humans do for people they like, right?
#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#foul legacy#foul legacy childe#genshin tartagalia#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#chit chat#anon#used 'you' instead of 'us' because it's easier to write#but know that this applies to all of us#aaaaaa foul legacy not knowing anything about mortal courting methods#he likes the concept of giving you a flower though because i think in the abyss they give each other plants as well#not even just flowers. straight up plants because they rarely grow down there aside from the occasional moss#but flowers are pretty and you deserve one so he wants to give you one#also does mine nose smell they/them Foul Legacy???#excellent. i approve#short scenario#other's stuff#good evening :)#FAVE
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love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world
#im talking about griffith btw#guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him#and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me#but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings#like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too#and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon#so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn#he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something?#and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv#and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not#ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities#more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well#also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read#there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom#i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read#also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all)#i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note#light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into#and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead#and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol#so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well#berserk spoilers#p
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recent lounging babey images
#he's so floppy recently and I hope it's just the heat. I think wamr weather makes everyone floppy and loungy#a beauntifulle boye...#cats#STILL working on posting some drafts. finishing new poll adventure.. other things... It's just hard with the weather and other things going#on. I've had a few more doctors appointments and other things to do recently that have to be done in a time limit#so I hvae to use my extremely limited energy working on that instead of doing the things I'd really rather do. :T#Main focuses though are keeping up better with doing and posting costumes + sculptures as main creative things. at least finishing the#main poll adventure story. Reworking the game I kind of abandoned for a few years. keeping up with game videos and a few other side things.#Especially the game though. I've been in a really worldbuildy mood recently. I just wish that was easier to manifest into something. I've#now put the worldbuilding slideshow reading video on pause for a while because it's SOOO long to do#and I think I should prioritize making games and stuff instead. but still other things. IT's just kind of like.. I have a whole world and#everything very built and planned out but now.. what do I do with it? what's the best way to share that? factual slideshows just going over#the information like a dictionary? make it into a game? write short stories? do art attached to the world? etc. etc. ?? There are so many#potential avenues I end up kind of flip flopping between them a lot because none really seem more beneficial than the others and they all#seem equally enjoyable and also equally hard so. It's like?? I guess just do what the hell ever and hope I made the right choice in terms o#cost benefit and reward for my time lol. ANYWAY.. Also why I'm in my 'trying to make friends' era still because I think having other creat#ive friends can help you find direction like.. people will meet each other and then go 'hey lol just for fun lets start a project together!#and then like 5 years later it's genuinely become something. etc. having other people to help weed out ideas and start small creative teams#together and etc. I feel is a very beneficial part of networking or whatever but also I have the social capacity of a stale bread roll and#am also inherently unrelatable to seemingly a majority of people due to my hermit wizard swag (detachment from general society and hyper#focus on fantasy worlds in my head gjhghj) so trying to meet people as a grown adult with social issues is Very easy and fun (it is not)#even very basic things like my core communication style is so incompatible with a lot of people it's like.. hhhh... People in this modern#age have GOT to stop being afraid of phone calls and/or text that is longer than 6 paragraphs. Work with me here. I WANT to talk to you. bu#I do not know what your emojis mean and it's physically impossible for me to type less than 85 sentences. please.. hhjgjgb#AAANYWAY!! I am working on things when I can given the circumstances (SUMMER).. hopefully some costume pictures and stuff soon. :'3#I've not forgotten about my art and etc. - as usual I just am bad at social media and also functioning if it's above 65F lol
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Thinking again about my plans for Vash and Knives in ITNL
Which I can't really get into the specifics for How I'm going to do things w/o going into spoiler territory. But I Do have Vash & Knives tagged on the fic for a reason. I set up in the first chapter that Vash is determined to try to save Knives too.
Which. That choice, as well as the entire basis for all of this, depends so much on that final fight in trimax. The one that was literally a scene away from where ITNL Vash went back in time. His mentality just a hair's width away from that...
At the end of trimax, there was reconciliation, however brief and incomplete it was. In ITNL, my question to myself was How could I induce that again? Under different circumstances, How Else could we get there? And that is the long-game in ITNL.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#i say reconciliation instead of redemption. because i think redemption is a difficult thing to capture well.#and it would require Knives to feel remorse or regret for his actions. which i dont think he would really.#but. potentially. if the stars align. maybe his goals can be redirected into something productive.#and maybe reconciliation can be achieved. just maybe.#the redirection here is important bc i dont think Knives would abandon his ideals Even If Vash got thru to him#but the key is convincing him that theres another way. that he can protect the plants w/o killing humanity.#easier said than done though. vash and knives are two peas in a pod after all. so incredibly stubborn.#but vash would want to try. because he Doesnt want to kill anyone. not even knives. though if it ended up necessary.....#well. better to try for reconciliation first. that one's as a last resort lol.#ultimately vash Does miss his brother. we see this at the end of trimax. that's the crux of that moment i think. for both of them.#realizing that once upon a time they only had each other. they were Brothers. they were Close. and they both Miss That.#those feelings were buried under miles of anger and resentment on both sides. but under the right circumstances.....#thats why it's important that ITNL was a hair's width away from that scene. bc he was on the verge of having that realization himself.#i replaced that moment with ITNL vash feeling thru the plant conglomerate the whole of knives' self. and his Realization.#the Knowledge that the brother he used to love is still in there somewhere. but he also wouldnt be able to survive this.#and thus his about-turn from 'nothing remained of the brother he loved. he had to stop him.' to 'i'm sorry. i'll save you too.'#hfalhxksd ultimately it's all so FINICKY and ive barely touched on it so far in ITNL. bc Knives has been off in the goop tube or whatever#but ive given it a Lot of thought. and id be so close to Getting There... to the next steps at least... if i kept writing.#hrrgmg. i am Thinking Thoughts...
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I have a gift for y'all today !!! 😊 Ever wanted to find a line in Re:Kinder in a single place for the sake of reference?? How about multiple chunks of lines. how about all the little variations that arise in the text with it's many endings, item descriptions, text that comes from interacting with the enviroment, and character info from the menu without having to boot up the game and go through it at long minutes!!???
well i sure did😊 Since I do a lot of fanart and think up my own silly theories and thoughts that need me to reference the game lines a lot, i have made a transcript for it for convenience's sake. A weirdly thorough transcript handwritten and proofread by me including all character lines available in-game. And I'm sharing it with you all today for anyone that wants it !!! :3 To use as a reference for creative fanworks or a quick search for a line in-game, whatever you wish to use it for!!
It uses the english translation of the game by vgperson. So naturally all credit for the game lines available in here is to her and Parun who made the game.
I did my best to organize it in a way easy to digest. Do note that I'm still human, and there's still the chance for mistake in it no matter how much I've proofread it, since I'm not even an english native speaker ^^. But I hope it serves you well nonetheless if you wish to use it.
That's my gift for today!!! Not the usual art, but still a project I'm proud of. Enjoy!!! 😊
#re:kinder#rekinder#not art#now goofy commentary for those who read my tags#i may have spent at the very minimum around 35 hours on it 😁 because thats what my pomodoro timer got to count in sum#but then again i spent more time without timing it as well so. we'll never know how many hours in total I've put into this#no regrets it was fun because shocking fact of all i enjoy this game🫣 (/s)#you could say but michael there are long playthroughs available on YouTube#couldnt you reference that instead of making a transcript#to that i say... they don't play the game like i do im picky as hell they dont show me every nook and cranny possible#and also i dont like scrubbing through those i thought just pressing ctrlF on a script would be easier. AND IT IS JAJSJSJSJSJS#but thats personal preference all in all#and im used to using transcripts for fanworks coming from earthbound. like there's one for the main game dialogue online and i love it a lot#for this game to not have any felt like some sort of crime considering how cool the story and the lines it has are#its also plenty useful for a game you're writing the spanish wiki for#yes i am doing that apparently my hobby became community work since i got into this game#gotta put that free time before turning 18 and getting a job onto something why not make resources just because i can#anyway fun fact while proofreading i noticed that everytime yuuichi was on scene there was a typo because i got too excited or emotional#either i was laughing because of how evil he is or i was getting unreasonably angry at the treatment he recieved in the past#in section 9 which is true end confrontation i was doing mistakes left and right until the fabled princess line scene#there i was bawling like a baby but THE ERRORS STOPPED ABRUPTLY LIKE I WAS FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE ALL UNTIL THE SCENE ENDED#THEN THERE WERE A BUTLOAD OF MISTAKES ITS INCREDIBLY FUNNY😭 i was fighting for my life holding in all those typos because i couldnt see#so this transcript was made with a lot of emotion laugh and tears and now you know#now i can get bagk to drawing this is the thing i mentioned i was doing fot a while#content feeding schedule crazy rn
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Nico agreeing when Percy first suggests he stay at camp. Percy wakes up in the middle of the night to a cold chill dripping down his spine. Panic hits him - more monsters?
But, no.
It's Bianca. She's standing, ghostly, on his floor. Her form is flickering in and out. Her gaze is firmly planted on the window, staring out at something.
He grabs Riptide and joins her. She says nothing as he pushes back the seashell curtain and catches sight of what she was looking at, what she wanted him to see.
Nico. Trudging off towards the trees.
Shit, Percy thinks as he rushes out the door. Nico doesn't even startle when he grabs his shoulder and pulls him to a stop. There's a sleeping bag tucked under his arm. His lips are downturned. He won't meet Percy's eyes.
"Where-" He exhales sharply. "Where you going?"
Nico kicks the dirt. "Home."
Percy grits his teeth and focuses on his breathing. "I thought you said you were gonna give it a shot. You know - staying here, being a camper." He gives Nico a friendly punch to the shoulder. "Making some friends."
"The friends thing was you," Nico mutters. He glanced past Percy, to Cabin Eleven. "I don't want to stay some place I can't sleep."
Brows furrowing, Percy crosses his arms. "What are you talking about?"
"Travis asked me to leave," Nico says, and a strange sense of calm washes over Percy like the trickling of water right before the burst of a dam. "Some of the others aren't comfortable with me there. They won't go to sleep. Or can't. I don't know." He stares at the ground. "He suggested I go sleep in the Big House."
"Then why-"
"I already asked Chiron about that," Nico cuts in. He tilts his head upwards, eye angry, defiant. They're like the endless void. "He said no. Can't show favouritism or something like that." He shoves the sleeping bag into Percy's hands. "So I'm going home. To my father."
Percy squeezes the bag in his hand so tight he fears it might burst on him. What's even in a sleeping bag, he wonders. "But-"
"But nothing. I don't need to try with these people." He slaps his chest firmly. "My siblings tried for centuries to fit in and all it got us was ostracized, bullied, or dead." Angrily, he points over to Cabin Eleven. The ground tumbles under his feet. "You think this is the first time we've been kicked out of that stupid cabin?"
Percy squeezes the bag tighter. Behind him, he can feel eyes watching him. Staring. Bianca, or maybe someone else, hidden deep in the shadows. Just waiting.
Nico stares at Percy with vicious eyes and sharper teeth. "Everyone thinks my father is some kind of inherent danger, and that, as his child, I must be too. Don't pretend you don't agree."
The bag drops from his hands as the air turns cold and frosty on his skin. "I don't believe you're dangerous!"
"You thought I wanted to kill you!" Nico seethes through clenched teeth. Percy withdraws and catches his breath. Anger has turned to pain, sadness, in Nico's eyes, his lips trembling. "You thought-" His voice cuts out with a strangled little noise that burns like a geyser right through Percy's core.
Bianca shimmers behind him. Her eyes are a void, drowning Percy as he looks at her. If Nico senses his sister, he doesn't show, but still Percy feels something watching his back.
Her voice echoed inside his head. Didn't you say you'd protect him? The darkness around them seems to come alive, tickling at his senses. Goosebumps litter up his arms. If you want him as safe as I do, let him go home. We have never been welcome here.
She disappears and the void breaks. Percy breathes.
"Okay," he says. With wet eyes, Nico blinks up at him. "It's not like I can stop you and... I go home at the end of every summer too so. Unfair for me to tell you not to. Just. Don't go around befriending anymore creepy ghosts, okay?"
It's quiet for just a moment. Then Nico nods sharply and turns on his heels. The darkness beckons him forward with twisted ink.
Percy runs and catches him on the shoulder once more. "I didn't think you wanted to me kill because I thought you were dangerous. I had this dream..." He trails off, unsure of how to explain.
"Dreams can lie, Percy," Nico says. He tilts his face away from him. Shadows cast across his pale skin, almost hiding him from view. "My dreams lie all the time."
"Yeah, but." Percy swallows. He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter. Everything- We're fine, okay? I. You- Just. Stay safe and call me. If you need help."
The shadows don't pull back from Nico's face and his stony silence as Percy pulls away from him is as unreadable to Percy as a college level textbook. The shadows pull around Nico, almost like a hug, and he's gone. The darkness fades and spreads out.
Like nothing happened.
#percy wanted nico to want to kill him. as part of his guilt over bianca#he thinks if nico wanted him dead it would make more sense#but instead nico says who cares about you and your stupid soul and Percy's baffled because he needs nico to hate him#to want him as dead in the ground as his sister us. it's the only way it's far and nico doesnt and Percy's guilt ridden heart cant take it#he doesnt know why but it hurts that Nico's fine with him living. he's not. he wishes he was dead#but he cant die because then who will protect nico from the prophecy?#so he has to live. but it would be easier to live if nico wanted him dead#anyway#just a scene thats been boiling in my head rhe last couple days#happy talks pjo#my writing#my fanfic#percy jackson#nico di angelo
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you ever just wish you could start your life over as easy as it is to in minecraft.
#pire.txt#I'm looking at my passwords document that I've had since forever#my youtube gmail name was made when I was like 11#I have a hundred different accounts on different websites some are necessary some aren't#I want to change all my passwords not just because that's what you're supposed to do regularly anyway#but I was recently convinced by that one xkcd about using a string of words you can remember instead of random gibberish you can't#and in doing so I can 1. not rely on password managers like firefox and my phone (which is google I think) and write it on physical paper#and 2. actually memorize the more commonly used ones probably#additionally I want to change the emails associated with all the accounts- or at least the ones I care about- to a completely new address#that isn't absolutely flooded with spam since I was 12#and maybe create a few email addresses so theres like a professional/personal ones that use my real name#and then a throwaway for the accounts that I don't give a shit about after their confirmation emails after I sign up#which I started doing at one point but didn't actually solve the problem since my original email was still flooding with spam#and every time I open my password manager I just want to go do literally anything else#like go play minecraft#but minecraft has gone through like 4 different content updates since I last played#which means even if I went back to my old server they've probably done a few season wipes of the map by now#I'd be starting fresh and honestly this account mess would be so much easier to handle if I could just restart the whole process completely#Why couldn't I have just done it right from the start?#[new world]
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#*beep* oh. hey. guess you're sleeping? maybe you're at work. or out with friends. i hope wherever you are it's good#or that it's getting better. i really do#i'm not good. but you knew that already. otherwise why would i be leaving this message?#sorry. i just need to talk for a bit i guess#cause it's like. every day i write a hundred posts and every day i delete most if not all of them#and i could not tell you why#this is my blog after all. my words and thoughts go here#but also. this is my third place. and i can't lose that#isn't that crazy? i can't lose the handful of notes from reblogging other people's posts#the idea that somehow i'm constructing myself in the cut and paste instead of doing something myself#and i do try to make posts of my own. but nothing's ever worth posting. i don't even let it rot in the drafts. it's just gone#and i try to think about what would stop me from doing this#which inevitably brought me here - what would i be doing if it were fifty years ago#and i think the answer is i'd be calling someone who used to care and blowing up their answering machine#and i think about old answering machines. the ones that need a tape to record the message#does dora just re-record over the tapes that harry fills?#does she trash them? i'm guessing she doesn't listen to them#i won't tell you what to do with this message. i'll spare you a call to action#it's not like a diary would fix this. i have a diary. i've been keeping one regularly for months now#i think i want to be perceived but i refuse to speak unless spoken to and i will not reach out on here unless i'm being a kindly anon#and when i talk irl it's all broken disjointed subjects without predicates#it takes such effort for me to talk that people stop asking me out of kindness. but there's still thoughts i haven't said#thoughts that don't need to be said. we don't *need* another person rambling on about whatever random fandom topic or half-assed scribbles#i tried making serious art and meta posts for like four years across different fandoms#it's all gone now. as is most of my poetry. lotta things i don't know or care to know#and i can't bring myself to do that again. esp if that's not why you're here. so like. it's easier just to remain quiet?#because. i know people *can* understand. but it takes effort#and i can't guarantee a return on investment. i don't know if the cost of teaching me how to talk again is worth it#god i want to infodump but that was beaten out of me. the need is still there but i can't. it hurts#idk. things are good and then things are bad and on the whole they're good and getting better
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been thinking a lot about telling my friends i love them, recently.
anyway i love you so so much.
#i used to have such issues with saying that phrase out loud#and it was difficult to write but it was easier so i wrote it down in letters a lot instead#and now i find it a lot easier to say out loud and i never want to stop saying it#i want the people i love to know i love them#and i think a lot about how the first time it was said to me at uni i fully froze#like my whole body tensed. and i wasn’t sure if thomas was saying it to me or adela so i sort of ignored it#and then xe said it again a couple of weeks later while drunk af and i just. froze again. bc i wanted to like return the sentiment#but i couldn’t. and it took like eight times of them saying it for me to respond and idk if this was even a thing they noticed but it was so#clear in my mind. abd i remember the first time i managed it so clearly. and then like a few weeks after that it was like the floodgates had#opened and i could just say it to the people i really cared about. and it felt momentous.#but every time i say it out loud i still get that little tinge of fear and my body tenses a bit#especially when it’s over the phone#but i can’t wait until i see my friends in person again so i can say it to their faces#because i love my friends so much and i don’t know how to express this through action very well#like i want to be there for them and actionably demonstrate this#but i never know how or if im doing that right#so i’ll settle for trying my best and also saying the words repeatedly and hoping they’re heard#i love you all so very much and i would do anything for you i would like you to know this please
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If I could get over my internalised ableism and be like 5% more organised and do shit like use my fucking support aids and take my fucking meds I really would be unstoppable.
#brought to you by me inguring my ankle and being forced to use a stick and thus being reminded that using a stick makes my life 100x easier#the gaul honestly#when i was like 14 i got it in my head that i could just stop using my aids and not be disabled anymore because then no one would know#other causalties include hand rests. physio exercies. typeing my notes instead of writing them by hand. and wearing my god damn hearing aid#and now im mostly over that but my brain sometimes screams im not fosabled enough to use a stick despite thay not being how that works#but im very very bad at habit forming so all that shit is still abandoned.#i used to be better about my meds. i really did. but now i think im drawing connections that dont exist between them and my seizures#and like. if i dont take them i still get seziures. but if i do take them i presume they casued the seizure#even though ive been taking these meds for years and the seziures have had a slow degeneration to be this bad#im calling them seziures. the doc is unsure but the are at least seizure like#fuck i just need to get my fucking shit together with my disablities#i have stuff to make everything a thousand times easier#i just dont fucking do it because im a dumb ass
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Sometimes I just want to read the wiki and then get on with writing for the CGI crossover, but If I do that, I'll even question more making me read the comics. Which is good because I'm planning to read them too but really feels like I'm forcing myself instead enjoying it like I'm supposed to.
An example would be TMNT space arcs. I think 2003 has one. 1987 absolutely has one. 2012 has one. rottmnt sadly didn't get one. 1990 didn't get one. Mirage has one because I'm reading to that specific arc so I can make a comparison between the 2007 and 2012 CGI crossover.
#tmnt#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2018#tmnt 2019#tmnt 1987#tmnt 1984#tmnt 1990#tmnt 2003#tmnt 2007#SeiTalks#It would've been easier for me to just make up a what I knew in tmnt 2007 but no#because I would definitely be biased on 2012 being 'stronger' and 'experienced' than 2007#because 2007 didn't gave us any information besides they defeated the shredder!#Like! Who the hell do I get to throw off the roof? Is it Leo or Raph?#Don't make me write Donnie being thrown out of the window! Actually Splinter would be nice#You know what#I'll take out of the IDW comics and make Splinter leg breaks instead being in a coma
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(this was written AFTER writing the tags, so reading those first might make more sense!)
wrote this on another post somewhere but since i ended up writing an essay in the tags forgetting to mention it i felt i should add that in now
as much as i think it’s important to have empathy to any side in queer discourse, the important thing to me is that the word discourse itself implies that there’s a debate
sometimes. there is not a debate
sometimes. they are just wrong
people saying ���aro people aren’t queer” is NOT a debate, they’re just wrong. aro people are queer go away
people excluding trans people from communities isn’t a debate, they’re just wrong and possibly terfs/radfems!
just wanted to clear that up because i generally get kinda anxious whenever i talk extensively about a topic because!! i am not the best at using words to describe my thoughts!! because my thoughts often dont happen in words and instead in concepts which is a lot harder to explain!!!!
all queer discourse could be stopped if we all just remembered that in the eyes of conservative fascists we're all dirty queers polluting their kids minds who need to be eradicated at all costs
#i agree with the sentiment of the post but i’d still say most instead of all#cus like. queer people are a community but not a hivemind#we do still share different opinions about things and it’s still valuable to talk about them#especially since some of that discourse comes from internalised homo/transphobia or being unfamiliar with certain cultures etc.#those can be solves by just educating them instead of reminding them that the opposition hates them#because that doesn’t really. help the issue. at most they know they’re doing SOMETHING wrong but not really knowing. what#the idea that queer people should (/do) share the same opinions on everything is kind of a right wing conspiracy imo#because it’s easier to demonize us if they make us seem like a cult that agrees on everything#like. as much as it sucks knowing that queer people still argue on queer issues#it’s to an extent more unreasonable to assume that they should agree with one another simply because they’re also queer#sorry i know im reading into the post way too much#i just feel like. it’s always important to empathise with people even if you don’t agree with them#even if just to understand them a bit better#as a queer person myself i admit i do feel kinda. surprised when another queer person says something which#in my opinion. is so horribly and obviously wrong#but after my initial shock my first reaction is to kinda. try understand why#i feel like it’d be ignorant of me to assume that i have the ‘correct opinion’ for one#but also if anything i can try sharing my perspective too and. maybe theirs will shift. or maybe mine will! depends#me omw to write an essay in the tags whenever i see a post relating to queerness hdkgudhdjfhd
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I think one of the most interesting OCs I have is Kai. She is a character I created back in middle school which is why she's a part of the Creepypasta characters. But she's actually a character I created to use as a stand in for reader inserts lol
#It's a lot easier to write about her instead of an ambitious idea#which is exactly what a reader insert is just with the added step of making everything interchangeable#I just give her a personality and life that fits the story#I also don't understand the hate for reader inserts given that they're pretty much the same as any romance novel#characters tend to be very open ended and bland for projection purposes.#I think a lot of people who hate them struggle with reading things in that way#that's also what a lot of oc x character stories are the writer just chooses to make it a character to be 'less cringe'#the others are self insert and actual oc shipping lol#I chose the name at random at like 12 because it was a pain to type _ on my tablet as my preferred method of naming the reader was _ not y/#I would email the story to myself as I wrote it in the notepad app I had (it was a nook color mind you) and use find and replace on Kai
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i'm tipsy and sad and i just want to matter and not to feel like this
#sometimes my brain tries to put blame on others for making me feel like this#but it's my fault and mine only#i'm the only one responsible for thinking and feeling like this and i'm the only one who can make it stop but who doesn't do anything#it's so much more easier to whine and whine and whine and complain and cry when no one sees#and try to make excuses for not doing stuff because oh that's just because of how i feel#and i mourn all the things i lose because of this#wake up you stupid pathetic loser you're the only one who is to blame#and you should stop making fucking excuses and pitying yourself and do something about it#i'm the one who made myself lonely and boring and instead of making it better i just wallow in self-pity and feel miserable#i just want this to stop#but once again i'm too lazy to do something about it#i just want it to stop#will i even just shut the fuck up about all of this and just work on myself instead of rambling stupid shit on the internet#i don't want to write these stupid fucking posts but i guess i feel the need to get it out of me at least somehow#and instead of using a notes app like normal people do i chose this because i can pretend that this somehow matters#well newsflash loser it doesn't so learn to shut up#i wish i could#i can feel a headache brewing#falling asleep will be fun tonight#jesus i rambled too much#not that anyone will read this tho so it's probably fine#or not idk#personal
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If you told me a year ago that I would get into makeup and then obsess over it to the point where I legit document in the notes app on my phone, the different color and product combinations I’ve used along with which clothes they look the best with, I would’ve asked if you were high. 🙃😅
#and now here i am…furiously typing away in my notes app about different makeup combinations and which scrubs they look the best with#this is primarily because my dumbass can never fully remember what colors/products i used to achieve a certain look#so i’m writing this shit down now so it’s easier to choose which makeup to use for the day#what i’ve discovered since getting into makeup is i like to use colorful make just as much as i like to wear colorful scrubs#and what’s more is i ALSO like coordinating my makeup colors to MATCH my scrubs#so if i’m wearing blue scrubs i want to use blue eyeshadow and blue lipstick so it all matches#i think part of why i’ve been enjoying this so much is that coordinating the colors like this makes it all feel like art#it’s like i’m drawing and coloring but instead of my tablet or a piece of paper i’m doing it on my face#makeup really IS an art form and i can’t believe it’s taken me this long to fully realize it and how much fun it can actually be#not me rocking up to work in bright sparkly green eyeshadow and light blue lipstick to match me Toy Story pizza alien scrubs#thankfully no one has given me any crap for my choice of makeup colors so far#and i would like to think that it’s because i really try to match all the colors i use with my scrubs#so it at least all looks good together#but more than likely it’s because i’m not hurting anyone by doing this and my face is still recognizable#it’s not like i’m over here painting my face to look like pennywise or some shit#the most ‘extreme’ thing about my makeup is just the colors#i’m not doing any crazy designs or anything#just using colors you probably wouldn’t wear on a day to day basis#such as bright green eyeshadow and light blue lipstick#the way i see it is if i’m allowed to wear colorful scrubs and it’s not an issue then why would colorful makeup be an issue?#tomorrow i’m going to wear blue-purple eyeshadow and purple lipstick with my dark blue scrubs#because i think it will look neat#will update on how it turns out
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