#us look around were very very lovely to do so they DID misinform regarding the fact that there was no one else in the house but them

[steelycunt]

driving up 2 my uni city on friday n moving into my new uni room in my new house...cant wait 2 decorate it i have such a plan i have posters i am so so excited.... : ^ )

[seniasworld]

It's Been Three Weeks ...

(this post is simply to get my own thoughts and feelings regarding Liam Payne's death out. skip if ya don't care. <3)

It's been three weeks since Liam Payne has passed, and I am still having a hard time wrapping my brain around it. I am an old Directioner, as I discovered the boys and their music when I was about 14 or 15 and I adored them up until Zayn left the band. I remember being so shy about the fact that I, a teenage girl, was influenced to adore these 5 boys who were also teenagers at the time. Thankfully, I realized that it isn't a bad thing to find some sort of comfort in strangers, and no, I was not part of the group who failed to respect their privacy and boundaries as fellow human beans. I loved them dearly and unfortunately, cut that shit off once I had bigger life things to worry about.

About three months before the news of Liam's death, I had finally committed to deleting thousands ...thousands of memes and pictures that came with being a Directioner during their prime. I had so many photos that I hadn't even looked at in years taking up space in my drive and I had do either pay for more digital storage (lmfaooo yeah right) or delete things I didn't need anymore, so that's what I did. Oddly enough, it was kind of a relief to get rid of 99% of those images, as I really felt it was a nice way to reconnect with that part of my life without shame or guilt, but appreciation and love.

However, I received the news of his death from the only Directioner friend I stayed in touch with all these years. The same friend I stayed up all night with, talking about the boys, waiting for songs to release, crying on Skype together when the wind slightly shifted in our little world. The only friend who I committed to meeting in person multiple times throughout our lives. She sent me a news clip on TikTok and girl, when I tell you my hear sank ...shit was SUNK. I didn't want to believe it, so I didn't. I was in such a great state of denial and shock that I couldn't even find it in myself to have empathy. All I wanted to do was prove that it was some misinformation or some stupid prank. I guess that's one way to cope, right?

Anyway, the teenage girl in me was devastated. I instantly recalled certain posts that were made either on here or on Twitter back in the 1D days that talked so much about how we would miss these days and they would pass us by so quickly and before we knew it, we would be grieving the loss of one of our boys after going so long without being so obsessively invested in their lives. I couldn't believe that we were losing one of them so soon. I couldn't stand the fact that I felt guilty for not being more invested than I have been in each of their music careers, even though I shouldn't. Really, I was just surprised at the fact that an influential part of my childhood ...or rather, teenage years, was just gone and it took his passing for me to realize the impact they all had.

I considered myself a Harry girl, and iykyk, us girlies were in the trenches, but my point with this is that I still loved all the boys. I don't know if I can truly express it, but watching their interviews, performances, vlogs, interacting with them on Twitter even though I was lost in the sea of fans, even just listening to their voices in their music was comforting. I appreciated so much that these boys were told from the very beginning that they wouldn't be successful and then they just blew it out the water. I appreciated so much that even though they were put together as a last resort and even lost X-Factor, who they were as people was what caught our attention as fans. For me, they were a safe space. For a lot of us, they were physical evidence that creative, funny, and compassionate people exist and that they can be boys/men. For a lot of us, they were simply all we had to get through each day.

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that some of the news that surrounds Liam was always positive. In fact, I was kind of mad at him for my own reasons for a bit before he passed. But the fact is, his presence in the band was crucial and so heavily valued that you didn't even have to be a 1D fan for his death to impact you in some way. His voice was beautiful and the way he carried himself compared to the other boys, especially when they were younger, was unique and powerful. I am so sorry that this has happened to him and I am so hurt for those in his life who actually knew him and loved him personally. I wish it didn't take death for people to realize that compassion, patience, and accountability go so fucking far no matter who you are and what you do. I wish he was in a different situation that would have never allowed for him to go the way he did.

I want to remind you, if you are still reading this, to understand that mental health takes a huge toll and informs our thoughts and behavior. Addiction is indicative of one's inability to face themselves. And let me ask you: how many people do you think you are wiling to face when you struggle to face yourself?

We must be kind to others, but more importantly, we must be kind to ourselves. It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes do not make you a bad person, and holding yourself and the ones you love accountable IS an act of love that will benefit the world around you.

I think this is all I have on the matter, for now. I am still quite sad, as I have experienced personal losses this year alone, so my heart goes out to those who have also been effected by Liam's unexpected passing.

If you ever want to chat or share any thoughts, follow and shoot me a message. I'll be around.

Goodnight. x

Yesenia

[malsfefanfics]

Petra and Rosamund C-Support

Summary: Petra is on herb gathering duty, and Rosamund stops by the clearing. The two have a conversation about the wildlife of their homelands a bit, before setting to work on clearing out an invasive plant species from the forest clearing.

Written in scripting format under the cut.

Petra: [KNEELING BY A PLANT IN THE FOREST] Let's see….hmh…this is not looking like any plant I have been seeing….

Rosamund: [WALKS UP BESIDE HER] Oh, hey Petra. How's it going.

Petra: Oh, Rosamund. Greetings. I am being… I mean, I have been tasked with the job of gathering the herbs for medicines. But I am finding much difficulty in figuring out this plant here.

Rosamund: Here, let me see. [KNEELS DOWN TO TAKE A CLOSER LOOK] Oh, this is a Morfis Mintberry plant. There's quite a few of them around here.

Petra: Morfis Mintberry? But this is Fódlan, yes? Why is there Morfis plants being here?

Rosamund: Morfis Mintberry was brought over during trade about three-hundred years ago. It's a popular plant for its minty flavors and its soothing properties, especially for breathing conditions.

Petra: I see. I have understanding now! You have my thanks.

Rosamund: Not a problem. If you want, I can help you gather them up. If we work together, we can free this entire clearing of the little monsters in no time.

Petra: But… they are not monsters. They are plants.

Rosamund: Yeah, invasive plants.

Petra: The Mintberry plants are invading? But they have no weapons…this is strange.

Rosamund: No, not invading like- Actually, I think it might be similar, now that you mention it.

Petra: I am not following.

Rosamund: What I mean is, because this plant isn't native to Fódlan, it has devastating effects on the local wildlife. This area had a lot of natural mint and other herbs that used to grow around here, but Morfis Mintberry takes all the nutrients from the soil. In this case, the seed traders were the mode of transportation to this clearing, and the roots are the weapon the Morfis Mintberry used to make this clearing theirs.

Petra: So it is very much like an invasion during war. There is being a similar instance of plants replacing native wildlife back in my land of home. We use to be having beautiful trees that bore fruit of much sweetness. But when Brigid became a vassal of the Empire, many of the trees had been cut down, replaced with new trees that cause sickness to the others. We are losing many of these native trees, which is vital to many of our cuisines.

Rosamund: That's terrible. I'm so sorry, Petra.

Petra: You are not having reason to apologize. You were not the one to bring these trees to Brigid. So you should not be saying sorry.

Rosamund: I might not have done it, but that doesn't mean I can't offer my sympathies and condolences. I know how it feels seeing the wildlife you love suffer due to other's recklessness. While it's not the exact same thing as what's happened to your trees back home, it's similar enough I can empathize with how you feel about it. And besides, it's still

Petra: I see. Then, for your sympathies and condolences, you have my gratitude. And allow me to be offering mine as well regarding the Morfis Mintberry invasion.

Rosamund: You don't have to, but I do appreciate it, Petra. [STANDS UP AND STRETCHES] Say, when you have the time, would you mind telling me more about the flora and fauna of Brigid? The books on it are a little lacking, and I'm suspecting there's a lot of misinformation in them.

Petra: I would be liking this greatly. [STANDS UP AS WELL, LOOKING AT THE EMPTY HERB BASKETS] But first, we are needing to defeat all the enemy herbs.

Rosamund: Right. Let's get to it then. Forward, march!

[SOME TIME LATER]

Rosamund: Phwew. There's a lot more than I thought there'd be, but we got it done.

Petra: It would have taken us much longer were it only one of us. But we got the victory over the invaders.

Rosamund: We sure did. You know, if we keep it up a little bit each time we head out, not only would we have enough mint to last the winter, but we could start clearing up this entire forest and restoring the natural flora.

Petra: But we are needing many more hands. Each of us alone would not be being…um… would not be able to manage to keep them at bay on our own.

Rosamund: True. I've already been doing this for ages between hunts and it still hasn't made a dent in its forces…if only we could have a fighting force against these invasive plants….

Petra: Perhaps we could be making one of our own. We can each form a battalion, and then plot out a battle strategy once a week.

Rosamund: Really? You'd do that with me?

Petra: But of course! I can already see the planning in action.

Rosamund: Well then, let's do it! Oh! We could call ourselves 'The Fódlan Wildlife Guardians' or something like that.

Petra: 'The Fódlan Wildlife Guardians' sounds perfect. I look forward to working with you, Commander Rosamund.

Rosamund: Right back at you, Commander Petra.

[whysojiminimnida]

So tired of the stupidity and don't need to remain anonymous to say what I have to say...

Again people discussing the toxic scum who claim to be BTS fans. They are not fans. They are attention seeking sociopathic losers trying to validate their own existence.

It is not BTS job (or any artist’s job) to control their fans. It is the individual person’s responsibility to make good choices in how they interact on the internet and in public forums.

Tkkers are a whole breed of mentally unstable sociopathic dipshits. They also are not BTS fans. They exist to promulgate their deep-set fantasy world. Their sole purpose is to push their misinformation forward...sound familiar?

The troubling thing with these types of people is they sometimes can turn psychopathic (violent) and that is worrisome. But again, it is not BTS’s job to try to control these groups. It's no one's job, it is the individual who is spewing the hates job to control themselves.

From what I’ve seen some say, a majority of Tkkers are not based in Korea. And a majority communicate in English. That would indicate that perhaps none of the members are really exposed to much of it because they do not pay as much attention to the English comments during V Lives and such. One would hope.

And BTS’ global stature most likely ensures they have a social media team guiding them with their accounts...and read this carefully: GUIDING THE MANAGEMENT OF THEIR ACCOUNTS NOT CONTROLLING THEIR CONTENT. Guiding the MANAGEMENT meaning the set up, the privacy controls (ie: only having them follow each other and making comments only come from those they follow), the log-in authentication protocols...it is IMPERATIVE that these guys have rock solid secure lockdowns on their log-in credentials so I would guarantee they have social media people overlooking these things for them so they can be free to CREATE CONTENT AS THEY SEE FIT for their own accounts.

This team would also help shield them from the ever-present trolls, stalkers, and the afore-mentioned sociopathic losers.

AND ANOTHER THING....

Those people who disparage their company, HYBE, the company that BTS members own a stake in, are supremely ignorant when it comes to business. HYBE is not holding them back or making them follow a script or controlling anything. If you have bothered to do any research you would see that this company has nurtured BTS from the beginning when they were still boys and has evolved into a corporate culture that believes in providing as much support as possible to their artists and staff employees to make a HYBE a very highly regarded workplace in Korea.

This is a publicly traded global corporation that Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook own stock in. All decisions revolve around ways to MAKE MONEY. That’s the purpose...to make money. Not to hobble themselves or shoot themselves in the foot by holding BTS back in order to promote one of the other groups. That’s sheer stupidity thinking.

*takes a deep breath and steps down from the mic.

Did you see my bag?

I been saying my moots are the very best people and I don’t think that’s a difficult thing to see today. 😍 I love you! 😘

Seriously kids, curate the content you consume. You have block buttons and report buttons and make it go away powers. Use them on the toxic segments of faux fandom.

When I say I use my block button I am not joking. I use it liberally. I actually answer very few of my inbox asks. An alarming percentage of anons become invisible to me on the first or second look.

But that’s okay. Education is also important. New ARMY need to know these elements exist and they can be loud but you do have a mute button for them. BTS wants us to ENJOY them.

So do that. Enjoy them. Listen to the music. Dance. Wave your ARMY bomb if you got one. Love yourself. Tell Jungkook where to get decent dakgalbi. Have fun. That’s what they want for us. 💜💛💜

[roo-bastmoon]

In free fire tae said he and jk are playing games TOGETHER.....ohh where is jikook?? Hahahah taekook are always together when it is off cam Not Your jikook who only interact when they see camera lol . If jm said that jk would have come up with excuses 'i play with him bcz i was bored' 'bcz his room was closest' 😂😂😂😂 but it was TAE and did u saw jk's reaction ?? He was so happy and looking at tae with loving eyes.🐰🐻

Okay, Anon. If that’s how you interpret their relationship, I’m not out to convince you otherwise. You could very well be right, and everything I’ve seen up until now between JK and Jimin was all a big act.

It seems strange to me, if I had a boyfriend I was always delighted to be with, that I couldn’t walk a few doors down to hang out in his hotel room (or any other members’ hotel room) instead of Jimin’s. Kinda weird that I wouldn’t spend my nights glued to such an attractive boyfriend, but instead waste countless hours night after night playing games, working out, drinking, doing karaoke, eating food, teaching my dog tricks, and horsing around together with Jimin just out of boredom (Tae is hardly boring, after all)! Bit odd to visit Jimin “morning, noon, and night”—to the point where my supposed boyfriend was confused enough to think Jimin’s room was my room. Also puzzling to go get tattoos together with Jimin recently, on my personal time, when I didn’t have to. Really a bit strange, to hang out on White Day with Jimin and not my (alleged) boyfriend (when none of us were on the clock).

Strange, but not impossible. Jimin has taken a huge step back from social media (probably because of all the hateful comments). He and JK haven’t mentioned hanging out in 2022, whereas JK and Tae talked about shopping, going to a fortune teller, and boxing and gaming together. (EDIT: apparently boxing is an unconfirmed theory and shopping was also not clearly done together, nor is it clear if they both consulted a fortune teller together—I’m really sorry, didn’t realize I might be spreading misinformation!)

Maybe when they talk about hanging out and do skinship and soft looks on vlives and social media it’s totally unconscious (and NOT for the sake of the cameras/attention, the way you think it must be just fanservice if it were Jimin and JK doing that stuff). Or maybe it’s all real for all three guys. Or maybe none of it is.

It’s totally fine by me if you take into account all the evidence and conclude Taekook is real and Jikook is not (or was real, but the ship died). No one knows but the members, so all any of us can do is look at what they do show us and choose our beliefs based on what resonates with us.

But, if you’re right, why so gleeful about it? What are you trying to “win” by declaring Taekook spends more time together off camera? Do you think so little of Jungkook that you believe he’d spend years interacting with Jimin only for the sake of the cameras? That he would let Tae (his supposed lover—who we all know is a sweet and sensitive soul) watch him cuddle, hug, piggyback, waltz, hold hands, give gifts, travel with, compliment, and wait for hours just to share a car ride home with another man, with no regard to Tae’s feelings? You must not think much of JK.

There also seems to be such resentment toward Jimin and his bond (or lack there of?) with Jungkook—but why? JK and Tae have both consistently expressed genuine affection and admiration for Jimin—why do you believe either of them would only want to hang out with Jimin when a camera is on? Do you think they are liars? Do you think V spent 2+ hours in a private FaceTime call with Jimin when Jimin was in the hospital but has no real love for him? They are all millionaires with international fan followings and billboard topping hits—they don’t need to pretend or perform relations to make money or get famous. There is just no reason behind such an exhausting charade.

So, why did you feel the need to seek out a stranger’s blog, and tell them their belief in the Jeon Park bond is wrong? And in such a smarmy, somewhat hostile way? Do you believe Tae and JK would be proud of the way you’ve represented them in this ask?

Hmm. Maybe try a little kindness, or at least civility, next time you engage someone about BTS. It’s absolutely okay if you look at social media and official content and conclude Taekook is real—your ship is valid!! Tae and JK have a real and beautiful bond. A bond that Jimin himself tried to encourage and enhance. You don’t need to try to make others “lose” just so your faves can “win.”

Please enjoy your ship, and don’t waste your time and energy worrying about Jikook or people who enjoy Jikook.

Life is too short and full of too much real heartache to compare our blessings and wish each other ill. Instead of arguing, let’s lift each other up!

[nogunsjustrosess]

Israel 'defending itself' is a laughable phrase when they have all the military power and technology and respond to whatever attacks Palestinians initiate with homemade rockets and rocks tenfold with more civilian deaths. they wouldn't have to defend themselves if they weren't occupying palestinian land and brutally suppressing its people. the fixation on Hamas which was created YEARS into the conflict, long after Israel had already been perpetrating war crimes, is just a way to deflect from the reality that Israel is a colonial project that is killing Palestinian babies in the name of self defense. consider why you want to justify IDF soldiers shooting at people who are running away from them, surrendering. these people live in a prison. they have no clean air or water. Israel controls everything - their electricity, their sewage systems, controls where they come and go. they have no freedoms. it is not even a remotely comparable situation. Israel has ALL the power, Palestine has NONE.

I will answer you thoroughly because I want you to take the time and read this response, there are MANY incorrections and misconceptions here that I hope are the results of being simply misinformed and not something way worse.

not gonna flood your feed so I’m putting everything under the tag. 

“Israel 'defending itself' is a laughable phrase when they have all the military power and technology and respond to whatever attacks Palestinians initiate with homemade rockets and rocks tenfold with more civilian deaths.”

 The asymmetry you’re talking about - tech and military wise - being your justification as to why Israel just has to endure ‘homemade rockets and rocks’  is fucked up. First of all, these are NOT just homemade rockets. 

Hamas has multiple types of rockets - and let me tell you - they are NOT homemade. Hamas is the third wealthiest terror organisation according to forbes. They receive money from Qatar and Jordan, as well as many other countries that think they fund help for the Palestinian. They don’t, Hamas uses all that money to launch thousands of top notch rockets and missiles to Israel, instead of helping the people of Gaza. Do you think homemade rockets look like this? do you think they can do this? maybe this? 

this?

or that? 

I wrote about the rocks Palestinians throw at soldiers and civilians here,  last week, an Israeli Jewish man was beaten to death and murdered by rocks in Lod by radical Israeli Arabs who identify as Palestinians. This is only the most recent occurrence - but it happens all the time and poses a serious life threat since the rocks thrown aren’t cute little beach stone, they’re big chunks of rock meant to kill, and using them as weapons is illegal in multiple countries around the world because of how dangerous it is. 

Gaza has more civilian deaths, that’s for sure. Again asymmetry that raises the brutal question - why there aren’t more Israeli people dying? Now, Israel does have a better system and way better protective measures against missiles and rockets. Do you want to know why? Israel invests millions in shelters, protective spaces and most of all - the Iron Dome. Hamas invests the same amounts of money in arming itself with missiles they launch at Israeli civilians (Jewish, Arab and Christians). Also, Hamas launches missiles and rockets from civilian areas so when they malfunction they also blow up around the same areas. 

“they wouldn't have to defend themselves if they weren't occupying palestinian land and brutally suppressing its people.”

Do you realize that they wouldn’t have to ‘defend themselves’ if they weren’t shooting at Israel in the first place? They are NOT defending themselves, Hamas has been continually sending missiles to Israel with no regard to human lives - not Israel’s nor theirs. Also, Israel has withdrawn all its settlements in 2005 with the exception of some parts in the Gaza strip, so not so much for your occupation, unless you believe the entire land of Israel is an occupation, and in that case - you’re historically incorrect. 

“the fixation on Hamas which was created YEARS into the conflict, long after Israel had already been perpetrating war crimes”

The ‘fixation’ on Hamas is the direct result of the pure fact they are actively trying to MURDER Israeli civilians every single day. You are correct by saying the conflict is way older than Hamas and way more complicated than them (you see, that’s why you DON’T get your info from infographics folks) but before Hamas there was the terror organisation Hezbollah from Lebanon (that very recently decided to join the party and fire missiles from the northern border to Israel as well), the Muslim Brotherhood and of course, ISIS. They are the terror organisations that continuously try to wipe Israel and everybody in it for good, committing endless war crimes. You all shout war crimes when Israel is the only country trying to minimise and prevent the harm done to Palestinians, often on its own expanse - like here, yesterday Israel tried to ship some resources to Gaza but the shipments were attacked by Palestinians. 

“a way to deflect from the reality that Israel is a colonial project that is killing Palestinian babies in the name of self defense.”

You guys love that argument - Israel killing Palestinian babies. Well here and here you can see well planned attacks on Hamas HQ and offices that were called off last minute because it was revealed civilians and children were present. This is something the army tries to avoid at all cost, even if it means losing millions, as well as months and sometimes years of intelligence gathering. That’s because Israel values human lives more than anything! Every possible effort to eliminate the threat to innocent lives WILL be made on the expense of anything. Except, Hamas doesn’t play by those rules, they have been known to deliberately hide Intelligence HQ, offices, and even high level terrorist amongst civilians, as well as schools, hospitals - and our newest example - news buildings. Putting human lives in danger because they use Israel’s refusal to kill civilians as an advantage. Unfortunately, that also means many time Israel doesn’t know about the presence of civilians there and horrible deaths happen. That’s very much on Hamas. 

“is just consider why you want to justify IDF soldiers shooting at people who are running away from them, surrendering. these people live in a prison.”

Listen, IDF soldiers are rarely allowed to shoot anyone - most of them don’t even carry any weapons but pepper spray. But the ones who do suffer very severe consequences if they misuse their weapons and they need to justify themselves in a court marshall . For example a couple of years ago a 19 years old soldier shot a terrorist that tried to stab his friend, he went through multiple court marshalls and even a civil trial, as well as months in prison. Believe me, this is not something any soldier would want to go trough unless their life was in grave danger and they had to shoot. (maybe America could learn a thing or too).

“they have no clean air or water. Israel controls everything - their electricity, their sewage systems, controls where they come and go. they have no freedoms. it is not even a remotely comparable situation. Israel has ALL the power, Palestine has NONE.”

Lastly, please do your research. First of all, Gaza is currently controlled by Hamas. And has been since its election almost 15 years ago. They control the resources Palestinians get or don’t get, and again - they choose to spend the billions they get in funds by buying missiles and weapons. The only thing Israel truly controls is the border with Israel, and like any other border it’s monitored and controlled, especially since it’s a favoured place for terrorist to execute attacks. Don’t forget there’s a border with Egypt as well. 

We’re not talking about Israel vs Palestinians. We’re talking about Israel vs Hamas - a blood thirsty, antisemitic terror organisation that has no value for human lives whatsoever. And still, Israel is the one who gets blamed and condemned.  

(and i have to thank @mysteryspotillusions because she did such a great job and I link to her posts several times!) 

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hi, I know this is a bit controversial and I don't know if you've been around or ever heard about this issue regarding Yoongi and his recent mixtape but...

Have you listened to What Do You Think and read its lyrics? If you do, what do you think about it and do you think antis are setting him up by accusing him for using a speech from J!m J0nës?

Wanna know your opinion hehe. I just love reading your articles.

I actually got interested in BTS the day Yoongi released his mixtape because it was trending on tumblr and I decided that this is the moment to find out more. But I had no idea about the controversy and what went on at that time. I did do some research now and asked around to check what was the fandom response. And anon, don't worry about controversial subjects, I do not stay away from it.

From what I understand, it was an entire mess, one that can only develop in online spaces due to misinformation, no research, not waiting to understand exactly what the issue is. That doesn't mean I don't get what were the concerns, but you're asking my opinion, so I'm going to focus on that.

When it comes to art, nothing exists in a vacuum, it has a purpose, some more explicit, some not. Using a fragment from a Jim Jones speech as a sample for a song needs to be viewed contextually. Is is gratuitous, did Yoongi added it to glorify certain acts? I don't think so. That's why we need to check the entire lyrics to see what is the message of the song. Art can be controversial, it can stir up a pot, in this case get some reactions from listeners. A lot of other bands had lyrics based on the acts of serial killers for example. Doesn't mean they were condoning it or were insensitive. An artist can deal with more dark subjects and we shouldn't bring the pitchforks instantly without trying to understand what is happening. Of course things may seem a certain way if taken out of context and that is precisely why we should be careful when jumping on twitter to state our own opinions instantly, especially when we know the kind of influence social media has.

I'm going to make a parallel with cinema. I watched a contemporary film that included footage from nazi propaganda reels, photos taken by colonizers, religious zealots and so on. Was the director in agreement with the message of those inserts? Of course not, he was making a point on some 20th century events and how some mentalities are still perpetuated today. Did he specifically said that in the film using a voice-over? No, he didn't, but looking at the overall picture, his intent was obvious.

Big Hit released a statement apologizing for what happened, saying that the producer and Yoongi as well had no idea and then they removed the sample. Honest opinion hours? I think that's bullshit. It's an easy google search and anyone can find where the sentences came from and for a mixtape that Yoongi has worked on for a long time, not made in a week, it's hard to think no one payed attention. But I believe the statement came after the international fandom backlash in order to minimize the damage, not because they realized it was wrong to use that sample. The music Yoongi makes under the Agust D pseudonym is very much different from what BTS releases, but that comes at a certain cost, as Army will focus on his solo music as well. If Yoongi were just a rapper with a certain type of audience, and not a global one used to K-Pop with lyrics a bit toned down for a more general public, then maybe this whole thing wouldn't have happened.

[ilummoss]

“Qui-Gon would have joined me”

Aka Dooku is such an interesting mess and I would love to know what goes on in his head.

Started in part by this post, I’ve been thinking about these words Dooku gives Obi-Wan in AotC, and what they are about. Because these words are soaked in misinformation/falsehoods.

First, if we look at canon it’s almost impossible for Dooku not to have left the Jedi Order before TPM (and probably by quite some time). Even just the movies point to him leaving well ahead of TPM, but TCW really nails down the timeframe (there’s a longer exploration of what we know regarding the timeframe of Dooku leaving the Order under the cut). But not just that Dooku had left the Order, it’s also clear that Dooku was already a Sith by TPM. 

And one of the main reasons this is so interesting to me is that it means Dooku was part of the Sith when Qui-Gon was killed. Not just vaguely in league with Sidious in some way, but full on had his own Sith title already, Tyranus. It’s even possible he was somewhat aware of Sidious’s plans for Naboo. 

Meaning his words are not about justifying joining those that killed him, it’s justifying staying allied to them, and justifying Qui-Gon’s death. Dooku talks about how Qui-Gon would have joined him had he lived, would have seen his perspective... But Qui-Gon clearly never did while he was alive, or he was denied even the possibility to (the more likely alternative). But Dooku is telling himself that Qui-Gon would have joined him, because that means he would have been alright with being sacrificed for this “higher cause”. And he does so because he knows it’s not true. (As in it is Dooku’s truth that Qui-Gon would not have joined him.)

Dooku knows that Qui-Gon wouldn’t have joined him, wouldn’t have agreed to this twisted higher cause of a Sith Empire, certainly not to be sacrificed to it. And because he cannot face what that truth means about him and his plans, he has to lie to himself about it.

Dooku’s “regrets” about Qui-Gon fascinates me so much, because I feel like he is expressing guilt, not about the actual matter he feels guilty over, but about something two steps to the left. Because selective half-truths is what keeps him running. 

About Dooku leaving the Order:

In AotC Jango Fett tells Obi-Wan he got the job as template for the clone army on the moons of Bogden from a man named Tyranus. In the same movie “Tyranus” is established to be Dooku’s Sith title. We know the clone army is about 10 years old, which means Dooku was a Sith 10 years ago. But perhaps this could have happened just after TPM? Master Sifo-Dyas’s death isn’t established more clearly than “almost ten years ago” and the name Tyranus could perhaps be a later addition by Jango to further obscure Dooku’s connection to the army. 

But in TCW season 6 we get some more information about this period of time, establishing that Sifo-Dyas was sent on his last mission by Chancellor Valorum. According to Palpatine it was also Valorum that had the files classified, which would put Sifo-Dyas’s death during Valorum’s time as chancellor. Of course, Palpatine should always be seen as an unreliable source. But as the reason he gives was still being a senator at this point I lean towards the timeframe being true, even if Palpatine’s description of his noninvolvement in the matter is more suspect. That means Sifo-Dyas is killed before, or at the latest during, TPM. And the same TCW episode further tells us that the Pykes were hired to kill Sifo-Dyas, by a man named Tyranus. It’s not just that Dooku was in league with Palpatine already at this point, but that he already has and uses his Sith title. Even if Dooku hypothetically could still have been part of the Order, he would already have been a Sith at that time. Him having already left the Order just makes more sense.

Skeevy Sheevy must have been juggling double apprentices for a while there, which feels like a very Sheev thing to do. (It honestly makes me want Plagueis to have been alive during the same time, just for all the juggling Palpatine would have had to do to keep them all from finding out about each other. No wonder running the Republic and the CIS was a piece of cake to him, he was used to managing several high maintenance Sith Lords xD.)

Another point that hints towards Dooku having left earlier than TPM is that he has never actually met Obi-Wan, despite being Qui-Gon’s old Master. And despite that he claims Qui-Gon talked highly of him. Going by only AotC this might not have meant as much, but if we take tcw and the interactions between Masters and their former padawans we see there into account (for example Obi-Wan and Anakin, Kit Fisto and Nahdar), Dooku never meeting his padawan’s padawan becomes strange if he was still part of the Order for the entirety (or even part of) of Obi-Wan’s time as a padawan.

Lastly, in the confrontation between Dooku and Anakin in tcw season 4 Shadow Warrior Dooku also dances around Anakin’s question if he was a part of the first battle of Naboo by declaring that the Sith control everything. It’s not a confirmation, but it’s also not a denial. 

All in all, not only is it clear that Dooku was already a Sith in TPM, him having also left the Order (probably for quite some time) is the most natural explanation. It also means that he would have had years to try and bring Qui-Gon to see his perspective and either fail or, more likely, never actually tried. 

While there is probably some regret about not reaching out to do just that, I think it is even more that Dooku at some level knows that he has sold his soul to the devil dark side for power, and what a cursed bargain it is. The sacrifice of Qui-Gon is the ultimate proof that he is on the wrong path, and so it has to be denied. 

I know both Legends and the nu!EU have established more explicit leaving points, but I decided to stick to high canon in this for simplicity. The nu!EU leaving point also lines up well with high canon, with Dooku having left some time before Obi-Wan was 17. In Legends the most common timeframe seems to be that he left just after TPM, which doesn’t really line up with later evidence. (I’m not saying this to talk down Legends, it was doing it’s world-building without a lot of later established context. And TPM is a temptingly dramatic breaking point, especially with the death of Qui-Gon)

[dragonswithjetpacks]

Beautiful War

-dragonswithjetpacks

Chapter Six: Appealing to Val Reous

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Read here on Ao3

The sun was just setting behind the city of Val Royeaux when they caught its glory at the top of a small hill. Agreeing that approaching the gate at dawn would be a better idea, the group made a small camp while enjoying the view. Orlais was particularly green this time of year. The ladies in the city would be wearing pastels and flowers. Not to mention, showing as much of their breasts as they possibly could get away with. It made Claira smile. She was never found of fashion. But the springtime cakes they made were always so delightful. Though their smell was more satisfying than the taste.

"You've been quiet," Varric implied as they rest.

"I'm always quiet," Claira disagreed.

"It's been an unsettling type of quiet."

"I didn't realize there were different types of quiet," she shaved off a piece of meat roasting over their fire.

"You keep looking at the city. And heaving that big sigh of yours."

"I'm finding it odd that you watch me enough to notice I have a particular sigh," she chuckled to herself before she took a bite of her meal.

"People who are easy to read are always fun to watch."

"I'm not that fun to watch," she said between bites.

"Normally you aren't," he propped his elbow atop his knee. "But you got this particular look growing on your face the closer we get to the city."

"Because I never thought I'd be going back to Orlais," she shrugged. "Let alone Val Royeaux."

"You've been to Val Royeaux before?" Cassandra was suddenly interested.

"My mother is Orlesian, so we visited on a few occasions. But I've lived in Val Royeaux. Twice in what I might consider my adulthood."

"Ah, yes, Lady Helena was from a smaller lesser known nobility," the Seeker recalled.

Claira had not spoken of her mother in so long that it was almost off-putting to hear her name. They had not made contact in some time. And the most recent letter she received was about Jordan's missing persons. There were never any pleasantries with Helena; it was always demanding and berating. The woman needed complete control.

"She hates coming here," Claira added. "I'd like to think it is because it reminds her of how fake she truly is."

"Then it must bring you bad memories," Cassandra empathized.

"Quite the opposite," Claira smiled, looking out longingly to the city. "Orlais was the beginning of my freedom."

"Do go on," Solas joined the fire at last. "I'm sure we've all been waiting for a glimpse of your youth."

"You've been locked up pretty tight, Herald," Varric agreed. "I think it's your turn for storytime."

Claira turned back to her party, all of them watching and waiting with bright eyes. It was the first time she was able to share any sort of personal information regarding herself. On the other hand, she had gotten to know them quite well, even considered them friends. Indeed, being back in Orlais brought up memories, both good and bad. As a child, she never had a chance to speak without being shut down. And as an adult, she realized that she had shut herself down as a defense. But here, in a place that had sparked her new beginning with the people she had learned to trust, she felt safe.

"I was sent to a girl's school when I was young. Around the age of fifteen."

"That late?" Cassandra seemed surprised. "And so far away?"

"I was not a compliant child," Claira laughed. "I had many house mistresses that found me unreasonable. Eventually, I was sent to Starkhaven. But the headmistress stated she couldn't help, either. Even as my wild side was gradually tamed, I was still clumsy, homely, and awkward. It didn't matter how polite or intelligent I was... I was considered a lost cause."

"How absurd," Solas appeared disgusted.

"I was sent to Orlais in hopes I would return a lady. But because of my age, the teachers were harder on me. It was almost torture. Most of them were cruel. But they allowed me to study in peace if it meant not having to deal with me. And the books in Orlais were incredible. I could have been a scholar with all the time I spent in that library."

"Why didn't they just transfer you?" Cassandra inquired.

"My mother was spending a good amount of my father's fortune making sure I didn't come back home until I was guaranteed a husband. I think eventually their goal was to find a nobleman not necessarily suitable for me, but willing to settle. I was never interested in marriage, though. I was set on becoming a warrior at a young age. So I left the school."

"By left, you mean snuck out?" Varric questioned.

"Snuck out would be putting it lightly," Claira laughed. "I planned for weeks to get out of that place. And when I did, I ran until I couldn't see the city anymore. I found a place to lay low. And that's when I met my mentor."

The party was quiet, listening to the campfire crack as she paused.

"Most have just assumed I was a typical Trevelyan Free Marcher. But I was never part of that life or the Chantry. I was never even given the option to become a Sister. Looking back, that's probably what I should have done when I left the school. Instead, I left with a strange man who told me I could achieve my dreams of becoming a warrior. It was stupid of me to trust him. But I'm glad I did. I trained under him for many years while traveling. He brought me back to Val Royeaux to the Academie in hopes I could be knighted, allowing me to live a life I had truly wanted."

"I should have known," Cassandra shook her head. "I imagined with the reputation of the Trevelyans that you were just a natural fighter. But there's no mistaking your stance is Orlesian. I always meant to ask."

"So that means all those nobles from Orlais that come by speaking their language and talking with that snooty tone... you can understand them?" Varric asked.

"Oui," Claira smirked. "Chaque mot. Every single word."

Varric let out a loud burst of laughter.

"This would have been useful information," Cassandra was still in shock.

"I didn't want to ruin the surprise," she shook her head. "Besides, if Josephine knew, she'd have me speak to the nobles more often."

"Isn't she giving you lessons?" Cassandra pressed.

Again, Varric rolled over in a fit of laughter as Claira half shrugged, half nodded. Solas remained silent, although very much enjoying the conversation in itself. And no one stopped Claria from speaking about her adventures in Orlais from that point. They only interrupted her to ask questions, much to her liking. It was the first time she had spoken about it to anyone, not that it was a secret. The more she told of her rebellious childhood and the harsh ways of her mother, the more she realized how much mental abuse she had been through. She couldn't imagine being that cruel to anyone.

************************************************

The gates into Val Royeaux were surprisingly empty. Claira remembered merchants and travelers flooded the archway into the city. Peddlers and pickpockets loved the area, as many people stopped to linger there to admire the stone masonry. Now, only a few people were scattered through the walkway. Claira was not the only one who noticed the lack of others.

"The city still mourns," Cassandra observed.

A couple who had been speaking quietly amongst each other passed by them innocently. However, once they caught sight of Claira, their jaws dropped and their eyes widened behind their mask. They took off in a slight run toward the open gate without daring to glance back.

"Just a guess, Seeker, but I think they all know who we are," Varric jested.

"Your skills of observation never fail to impress me Varric," she retorted.

"My Lady Herald!" a scout greeted them from the city.

"You’re one of Leliana’s people. What have you found?" Cassandra questioned without hesitation.

"The Chantry mothers await you, but… so do a great many templars."

"There are templars here?"

Claira felt her chest grow tight. The intention was to meet with the Chantry, not the templars. They would have eventually attempted an audience with them, but this was too soon. She was unprepared. They continued walking through the entrance as they were informed of the current situation.

"People seem to think the templars will protect them from…" he faltered."...from the Inquisition. They’re gathering on the other side of the market. I think that’s where the templars intend to meet you," the scout continued.

"They wish to protect the people? From us?" the Seeker was still confused.

"We expected this," Claira stated.

"From the Chantry, yes. But I didn't expect the templars to make an appearance."

"The people may just be assuming what the tempalrs will do. I've heard of no concrete plans," the scout confirmed.

"Do you think the Order’s returned to the fold, maybe? To deal with us upstarts?" Varric added his sense to things.

"I know Lord Seeker Lucius," Cassandra explained. "I can’t imagine him coming to the Chantry’s defense, not after all that’s occurred."

"We’re doing all this to get help with the breach. Maybe this is our chance to get the templars on our side," Claira attempted to remain optimistic.

"Perhaps..." Cassandra wasn't convinced. "Return to Haven. Someone will need to inform them if we are… delayed."

"As you say, my lady," he placed a fist over his chest and trotted off to exit the gates.

As they progressed through the walkway, a group of guards began to observe them. They were not quiet about their conversation and there were hints of the Inquisition harboring murderers. It appeared the city was relying on the templars to protect them from their heresy the Chantry was spreading any misinformation they could. It was horrible timing, she had to admit. And it was going to be difficult to proposition both sides while they were standing next to each other. It wouldn't be as simple as uniting under one cause. This was going to be a political battle.

"Good people of Val Royeaux, hear me!"

Mother Hevara, one of the Chantry members who was supposed to be greeting the Inquisition shouted on a stage in the center of the market as they approached. Standing next to her were two other sisters. And in front, a wall of templar guards. Many of the citizens had gathered before her. Claira recognized a trap when she saw one. Even if it had no teeth.

"Together, we mourn our Divine. Her naive and beautiful heart silenced by treachery! You wonder what will become of her murderer. Well, wonder no more! Behold, the so-called Herald of Andraste! Claiming to rise where our beloved fell. We say this is a false prophet! No servant of anything beyond her selfish greed," the sister preached.

The crowd of people parted as they passed. The plan was to antagonize The Herald to the point of attack. With as many people surrounded her to witness the savagery, the trial would be quick. But Claira was smarter than that. It was almost insulting how stupid they assumed she would be. If they wanted to cause a scene, she would most certainly give them one. Claira was aware of how Orlais truly operated.

"We came to you in peace, only to talk," she spoke loudly, but calmly. "But this is what you choose instead? I implore you: Let us sit down together, to deal with the real threat!"

She turned to the common people who were too intimidated to move, looking many of them in the eyes. They gazed upon her as if she were a mythical being of wonder. It was a mixture of both awe and fear. Claira seized that moment and bolstered her voice.

"Do you know everything the Maker commands? Look up in the sky! I alone survived the Breach ... and I can end it!"

"And this is how you gain favor with Orlesians... with who can put on a bigger show..." Varric muttered under his breath.

"It appears to be working," Solas whispered back.

"It’s true! The Inquisition seeks only to end this madness before it is too late!" the Seeker added, looking to the templars for a reaction.

"It is already too late!" Mother Hevara pointed to the templars who were now taking the stage. "The templars have returned to the Chantry! They will face this Inquisition and the people will be safe once more!"

Claira was not prepared for her next act. However, the scene was ended abruptly when a templar approached Mother Hevara. It appeared as though he was going to escort her off stage. Though, she was quite wrong. Instead, he struck the Chantry Mother across the face, sending her to the hard stage floor. She cried out, but no one moved to help her. A templar hesitated, only to be held back as Lord Seeker Lucius entered the stage.

"Still yourself. She is beneath us."

The templar looked unsure but still did nothing. Claira moved forward, but Cassandra quickly grabbed her by the arm. Something seemed very wrong, but there was not enough time to act upon it. There was not enough information to pick a side.

"What's the meaning of this?" she questioned instead.

"Her claim to authority is an insult. Much like your own," he looked down on her.

"So you're here to deal with the Inquisition?"

"As if there were any reason to."

His ambiguity made Claira's skin boil. Cassandra tightened her grip.

"Lord Seeker Lucius, it's imperative that we speak with-"

"You will not address me," he interrupted his fellow Seeker.

He motioned to the templars and they began to shift as he walked away. Cassandra was taken aback. Her grip loosened on Claira's arm. They exchanged glances at one another, both suddenly very concerned. It was a far reach, but Claira began to hope this was some sort of play they stumbled into.

"Lord Seeker?" Cassandra was still confused.

Lucius stopped, clearly agitated. Looking into his dull eyes made his presence even more heavy and dark. This was not the man her cousins had described, nor the reasonable person Cassandra claimed him to be. Months ago, when Claira was traveling to the Temple with her cousins, she remembered hearing them discuss the discontinuing of the Nevarran Accords. Lucius inherited the role and ideas of his predecessor, but it was commonly accepted that he was more than willing to compromise.

"Creating a heretical movement, raising a puppet as Andraste’s prophet," he finally confronted them. "You should be ashamed. You should all be ashamed! The templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the mages! You are the ones who failed! You who’d leash our righteous swords with doubt and fear! If you came to appeal to the Chantry, you are too late. The only destiny here that demands respect is mine."

The words were far more dangerous than any threat he could have given. Lucius was now a tyrannical man with a lust for power. He wanted recognition, for whatever reason. Which was fine on its own. However, he wanted to destroy his adversaries so that he may rise from their downfall. The Chantry, the mages, the Inquisition; they were all beneath him.

"If you’re not here to help the Chantry, then you just came to make speeches?" Claira retaliated.

"I came to see what frightens old women so, and to laugh," his voice lowered, making it all the more unsettling.

"You openly refuse the Herald?"

"You have nothing. No influence, no power, and certainly no holy purpose."

His assumptions burned at her like a hot iron. It left marks that made her clench her fists in rage. There was nothing she could do. She could say no more. She could not lash out. She could not even move without risking her good nature. This was not how she intended their meeting to be. She felt like a child once again being beaten by her mother. She felt helpless.

"But Lord Seeker…" the hesitant templar spoke ."What if she was truly sent by the Maker? What if—?"

A higher-ranked office stepped between the templar and the Lord Seeker. "You are called to a higher purpose! Do not question!"

"I will make the Templar Order a power that stands alone against the void," Lucius drew attention from the crowd. "We deserve recognition. Independence! You have shown me nothing, and the Inquisition… less than nothing."

The Lord Seeker made a point to look fiercely at Claira as if it would weaken her soul. Something was reaching for her behind that stare. But it was not enough to break her. It only added more fuel to her flame. She prayed there would be a time they would cross paths again without any spectators.

"Templars! Val Royeaux is unworthy of our protection! We march!"

The market was still, all but the sound of clanking armor as the templars left Val Royeaux. It wasn't just the Inquisition left stunned, it was quite literally everyone who had witnessed the horrifying affair. As the sound of their marching fainted, whispers began to rise from the people.

"Charming fellow, isn’t he," Varric was the first to break their silence.

"Has Lord Seeker Lucius gone mad?" Cassandra almost shouted in frustration.

"I thought you knew the Lord Seeker?" Claira turned to her, almost angry at the information she had been fed.

"He took over the Seekers of Truth nearly a year ago, after Lord Seeker Lambert’s death. He was always a decent man, never given to grandstanding. This is very bizarre."

"It doesn't look like he can be reasoned with."

"There must be those in the Order who see what he’s become."

"We can investigate once we return to Haven," Claira assured. "We still have the matter of the Chantry."

Mother Hevara was nearly forgotten. After the templars openly denounced the Chantry in front of everyone, no one bothered to help her off the stage. They only stared, whispering to one another and spreading the rumors even further. But now that Claira was able to get to her without being barred, she was at her side. The Sisters stepped back, still feeling threatened by the Inquisition. Despite the vile glare the Mother gave her, Claira assisted her onto her feet with gentle hands.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Hardly," the Mother replied roughly. "This victory must please you greatly, Seeker Cassandra."

"We came here seeking only to speak with The Mothers. This is not our doing, but yours," Cassandra replied.

"And you had no part in forcing our hand? Do not delude yourself," the Mother's fight had returned. "Now, we have been shown up by our own templars in front of everyone. And my fellow clerics have scattered into the wind, along with their convictions."

"I understand the hardships the Chantry has faced," Claira spoke. "But you'll find no pity here."

"Just..." the Mother sighed. "Tell me one thing: Do you truly believe you are the Maker's Chosen?"

"Whether by the Maker himself or by fate, yes, I believe I was chosen."

"I suppose it is out of our hands, now. We shall see what the Maker plans in the days to come."

"Take care, Mother Hevara," Claira gave a slight nod.

The Mother nodded back, only out of common courtesy. Claira could feel her death stare watching her back as she left the stage. She made her way through the market, Cassandra and others following close behind.

"Well, at least we've been able to calm one side of the three-headed beast," Claira sighed.

"For now," Cassandra replied. "The other clerics are another matter. Either way, we should return to Haven and inform the others."

Claira opened her mouth in response, but the familiar sound of a blade cutting through the air caught her attention. he held her hand out just in time as a whistling sound brushed by her ear. An arrow from a balcony above shot straight into a small spot where the dirt was showing through the stone. There was a letter tied to it with a single red ribbon. It looked like one of the ribbons used for the Inquisition's missives. The party looked upward but saw no one.

"Not just yet," Claira grinned. "It looks like there are others to appeal to in Val Reouyx."

[ofravensandgenesis]

I'd love to ask about '03 Rachel/Faith notes, backstory, past Faiths, Bliss Mechanics, Tracey, etc' and 'Redshift Collision', if that's okay! 👀

Oo, fun choices! :D Thank you for asking!! ♥ Putting it below the cut, also trigger warnings for mentions of child abuse, drug use, dark backstories, in line with or inspired by Far Cry 5 canonical content. Trigger warnings for Redshift Collision include mentioned fantasy religious content, topic of euthanasia mentioned, magical diseases, etc. Long post is long, I hope the read is enjoyable though!! :0

————— 03 Rachel/Faith notes, backstory, past Faiths, Bliss Mechanics, Tracey, etc ————— So this folder breaks down into a dozen docs with split up notes, we’ll touch briefly on a bit from most of if not all of them, but the list is as follows:

01 Faith Character Notes, NPC Followers

02 Rachel Jessop’s Backstory for ACABH

03 Deaths of the Former Faiths Prior to Rachel, Some Bliss Mechanics

04 Tracey Lader Backstory Notes for ACABH

05 Types of Bliss Drug

06 Bliss Dart Mechanic Notes

07 Faith NPC compilation links

08 Overarching Bliss Realm Mechanics

09 Priestess pictures for Athalia - refs, tattoos, etc

10 Jacob’s Men talking about Bliss Shipment Amounts for Various REgions, Bliss Barrel capacity

11 Faith’s character arc, [Redacted for spoilers] - Major Plot Developments for All Main Characters

12 Angels versus Lost Souls

So, fun tidbits from these various docs! Some are implicitly dark because Faith is a Seed and Seeds don’t get to have happy, fun backgrounds in cult-centric AUs like ACABH, poor souls. The first Angel that Faith ever made, and the first ever Angel of the Project, was a woman named Abigail. It was an accident. Researched the first and last (and alternate) names for both Rachel Jessop, Faith, and Tracey Lader. Fun stuff honestly, Tracey’s is very fitting in that one definition of the name is taken from the Irish word "treasach" meaning "war-like" or "fighter." Lader is from Old English and Middle English words meaning to load; draw up (water specifically.) Rachel is as far as biblical names go, the name of the favorite wife of Jacob, and means “ewe” as in a female sheep. Fitting in a metaphorical sacrificial lamb way, if one chooses to look at it like that, among other sheep-like metaphors such as following the herd, etc. Rachel’s father was a doctor who researched the biochemistry of various plant  based compounds that he extracted from specimens he grew at home in controlled conditions. Her mother ran a florist shop and delivery chain, and grew orchids in the green house as a past time. Rachel was passionate about the sciences when she was young, but neither parent looked upon this favorably for various (toxic and abusive) reasons, leading Rachel to become far more withdrawn and reclusive about her passions and activities—in as much as she could manage, beneath her parents’ ironclad rule. Rachel in the present day still is passionate about biology (specifically botany) and biochemistry, but keeps that to herself unless she really happens to trust the other person. There was a brief time when she was a more rebellious and spirited young girl—but her parents quickly stamped that out through any means necessary, including force. It is a major reason as to why Rachel is so conflict avoidant: she remembers how badly it can go, how quickly it can escalate, and she is so very aware of the inherent fragility of both life and limb. There are quite a few conflicting points-of-view regarding the deaths of Rachel’s predecessors, and a great deal of misinformation. Rachel believes that the Seeds aren’t being entirely forthcoming with her about how their own abilities work and the limits of said abilities, and that there’s a lot of secrets not being told regarding the details of how the two former Faiths died. Selena was the first Faith, chosen while the Project was still in its infancy, long before they had made it to Hope County, and Joseph was so sure she’d be the prophesied fourth Herald to help shepherd the faithful through the Collapse. Lana was the second, stepping up to fill the role when Selena died—but Lana died two months later, with both Faiths’ deaths serving as markers of the dangers of the then proto-Bliss-realm. Rachel had been at the Project for half a year at that point, and was the one who took up the mantle of Faith and has served ever since for the past seven years. She was eighteen when she took up the name Faith, but despite her young age had marked accomplishments to her name that had put her forward as a candidate, namely her works with the geneticist Peter on developing the first strains of the drug that would later come to be called the Bliss. This lead to huge leaps and bounds of development with regards to the psychic network that would become the Bliss Realm, and without Rachel’s work, it would be safe to say the Bliss both in drug and psychic plane form, would likely not exist. Jessop as a name is potentially from a root name of Joseph in the form of Yosef, meaning “may God increase, or add (another son)” which ties into Rachel’s family’s thwarted desire for a son rather than a daughter very well in this AU. Thematically, Rachel does arguably share ideology from both Jacob and Joseph, so in a way that is also extremely apropos for her. Ah, Tracey. She did not come from a happy home life either—but that doesn’t surprise anyone in the slightest I think. Her father left her mother the moment he found out she was pregnant, and that’s all Tracey knows and wants to know of him. Her mother worked hard to support them but was absent most of the time, leaving Tracey with relatives to keep an eye on her. Said relatives were very shitty in their treatment of her, leading to a whole host of problems for Tracey to deal with growing up, ranging from neglect to verbal and emotional abuse. This is a cluster of reasons among others that lead to Tracey learning to look out for herself—and to stick up for those who couldn’t look after themselves. She and Rachel met in high school, and they were each other’s first real meaningful friend. It was when they were together that they first thought of the possibility of a better life than all the horror and terribleness they had to live through so far in their very young lives. They were so sure they’d be friends forever...until they weren’t. As of writing this, there are currently six major strains of the drug bliss in ACABH, including Regular Bliss, Sleeper’s Bliss, The Chosen’s Sacrement, The Angels’ Bliss, Cleanser Bliss, and Red Bliss. Variant strains within those major categories also exist as it’s an on-going series of projects for Faith and her followers, with varying levels of involvement from other Heralds, regions, etc. Red Bliss is specific to Jacob’s region and is used in both the Judgification process and the Trials. The others are all largely self explanatory for the most part, or explained or will be explained in the fic. Bliss darts! These are what John’s hunters use, same substrain of Sleeper Bliss that Jacob’s hunters and Faith’s followers use in the form of Bliss arrows and Bliss grenades (think like smoke grenades) to capture non-Project-members too, alongside their attempts to capture the Deputy. Joshua still has a nice stash of them at this point, so the whole family’s in on this. Commonly used even in the Project’s rank and file to subdue kidnapped targets. People can die permanently if they suffer sufficient psychic injury or psychic death in the Bliss in general, but that’s not a guarantee. If some form of psychic death is induced while the person is in the Bliss, it’s possible with immediate medical response to potentially resuscitate said person. Some people can “die” in the Bliss without problem though, aside from likely waking up in a panic as if from a very stressful nightmare. Most people can’t without being connected to the private Bliss network in Jacob’s region—Jacob’s is specifically split off from the rest of the Bliss Realm through the exclusive use of Red Bliss, though Faith and her priestesses could in theory cross over and connect to Jacob’s network, they generally do not. It is easier for Jacob’s people to cross over to the main Bliss network than it is for other rank and file or even Chosen that belong to other Heralds to enter the Red Bliss network if they are not induced into it through drug use. The Heralds have a much easier time of it, but it’s still difficult—Faith and Joseph have abilities that allow easier passage for it among other things, whereas John would struggle more with it sans other additional factors to help said effort along. Athalia was originally one of John’s people before she transferred to help support the previous Faiths, and Rachel retained her as Head Priestess from early on, striking up something like a friendship over time. Some of Athalia’s loyalties may still lie with her old Herald though moreso than her chosen Herald, certainly some of her outlook mirrors John’s dogma moreso than Faith’s, though Athalia keeps that underwraps more often than not. They have a SHIT TON of bliss being shipped around to the different regions. They have to have one hell of an industry for making the stuff to keep up with that scale, depending on what the chemical makeup and ratios are. The doc regarding the plotting of Faith’s arc is all spoilers, so we’re skipping any mention of it here. Angels are different from what the Project calls Lost Souls due to the fact that Angels aren’t 100% disconnected from their bodies and lost in the Bliss Realm, they’re still distantly connected to their corporeal forms in reality, just busy enjoying the Bliss high trip and for the most part uninterested in returning to the real world...for the most part. A minor part of the job for Faith’s people is to ensure that the Angels don’t wander too far in the Bliss realm, or else they’ll become Lost Souls and if gone too far for too long (average length of time spent too far required to become a Lost Soul is a little over a week), this separation can induce major multiple organ failure, including cardiac arrest. It is possible to revive a Lost Soul, much like with reviving someone who died a Bliss-plane death, but it requires that the person’s soul in the Bliss Realm be found and brought back immediately, to sustain the body without extensive external life support systems. Even then, brain death has been known to happen. What counts as “too far” varies from person to person, but the general rule of thumb is within shouting distance—namely, having the Angel’s psychic form in the Bliss Realm’s counterpart of the real world being within shouting distance of where the Angel’s physical body is in the waking world. Brief bouts of separation have not been noted to cause harm to Angels, so it’s fairly lax as duties go to shepherd their souls about and is often tasked to lower ranking Priestesses on the day to day basis. ————— Redshift Collision ————— Redshift Collision is a fun idea that spawned from a crossover fanfic idea I was considering a while ago before letting it evolve into its own original fantasy setting with sci-fi elements instead. It centers on a character named Edgar Loom, short for Loomis, which is his family name. A bit of cultural trivia about the name: The reason he’s called Loom instead of Loomis is because only the heads of a house may use the full family name, everyone else is introduced with a derivative surname. As Loom is next in line to be the head of their household, he is typically the one people refer to when using the name “Loom”, though casual use of the derivative name happens for applicable family members here and there as the situation calls for. First names are typically a much more private affair, and people typically have “use” names that they give when introducing themselves to others including but not limited to prospective business partners, strangers, distant family members, etc. Telling someone your given first name is seen as a huge sign of trust, the equivalent of saying that the other person is part of your inner circle. It is generally expected that first names not be given out prior to knowing someone for a socially acceptable amount of time (length of time not given because I’m not done working out the calendar yet.) Typically, the head(s) of house can use just the family name as their use name if desired, or if there are multiple heads of house then their own use name can be used either as a stand alone or combined with the famiy name. In Loom’s case, since he’s next in line, his use name is typically Loom by default, thus why he’s called that in the ensuing paragraphs. Loom is the only child of his parents, much beloved and happy with his lot in life, having spent his time apprenticed in order to learn how to take up his father and mother’s trade, namely overlooking the production of luxury textiles in the guild of weavers (you can imagine where their ancestors got the surname Loomis from.) Tragedy however has befallen their world in the last two decades, an unknown cataclysmic event has shorn the very fabric of reality in such alien angles, even the gods are left scrambling as they try to figure out what has happened—and what is happening. Despite the new dangers and unforeseen changes that continue to twist the fabric of their world however, life goes on. People still survive, and flourish, adapting as they can to the strangeness that has taken root upon their planet. However, one of the new shifts brought about in their world includes new diseases—plagues. One such disease is called Wraith Fade, so named for what a person becomes as the disease progresses, and how. It is unknown how Wraith Fade is transmitted, but it is widely suspected to be magical in some form, due to lack of evidence for it being transmitted through the more common corporeal means. Loom contracts Wraith Fade, and he and his family all know that it’s a death sentence—sufferers of Wraith Fade are typically observed to have a year or for the more robust two before succumbing to the disease. Typically, the course of treatment is for the afflicted persons to make good of their last days, and then to call for a doctor to help with euthanasia—most countries if not all sponsor covering costs for this procedure to varying degrees, due to the dangers that wraiths pose if left unchecked. And wraiths are very dangerous, and very hard to kill. One of the early to mid stage symptoms is what appears to be a magically-induced loss of voice—both medical professionals and thaumaturgical researchers are at a loss for the mechanics of it, as studies do not register readings of magical structures either natural or artificial that would induce a silence effect. Various treatments have been attempted, but no direct results have been observed thus far in the trials. Another symptom is what has been referred to as “greying”—specifically, a gradual fading into total translucency and loss of most forms of color in the afflicted person’s physical appearance. The silencing and greying that sufferers of Wraith Fade endure eventually comes to encompass most if not all sounds that they make towards the end of the disease’s incubation period, and coupled with the greying effect this translates into a near silent and visually obscured entity when the person loses themselves fully to wraithood. Older wraiths have been observed as occasionally being able to silence entire areas seemingly at will for brief periods of time, and some of the more markedly dangerous individual wraiths have even learned to disappear from sight completely in what appears to be true invisibility. Their hardiness and resistance to what would constitute mortal injury to many living beings also seems to be supernatural in origin, though it is yet one more area that eludes researchers and experts to a vexing degree. What makes wraiths so dangerous however is their penchant for hunting in sporadic and irregular patterns, and the predominant pattern of many wraiths taking to heavily populated areas as a preference. Why they hunt people is a mystery, as sufferers of Wraith Fade are noted as slowly losing sensations of hunger and thirst, and late stage sufferers going without either food or drink without succumbing to starvation or thirst beyond noted secondary effects. The individual modus operandi of a given wraith develops over time, to terrifying results. It is not unusual or imprudent for the public to break into mass hysteria should a murder occur in a city, with people fearing that a new wraith has taken up residence. It is for this reason that sufferers of Wraith Fade are at times persecuted and sometimes killed on sight by unruly mobs, so-called vigilantes, and at times even government-sanctioned organizations in some countries. It is dangerous to travel for both the afflicted and for others, should the afflicted’s health take a turn for the worse and their condition deteriorates faster into wraithood. There is no known cure for Wraith’s Fade—but there are rumors of one, in the strange and distant city-state of Wyrrawyr. Loom is however a soul defined by hope, in that moment of definition. He chooses to try and seek out this rumored cure, and he and his family and friends have a tearful goodbye, knowing this full well could be the last time they see each other in this life. Wyrrawyr is a strange place. It is the city of stained glass, the gateway to the Snowfeld Sea, the broken circle which once sat as the crown jewel of the mighty Hederan Empire, the land of a thousand sieges—and a land of the old ways. Wyrrawyr has been conquered many times, but no conqueror has ever met with good fortune when trying to rule that place. Ill fortune plagues any power that tries to rule that city for long, and Wyrrawyr has garnered a reputation as a place to avoid...not that everyone listens to such tales. It is known as a cursed place to many, but those brave souls who dare to call it home say otherwise. The local gods of Wyrrawyr in particular are strange in their antics when seen through the eyes of the more northern countries, but not so strange as the people—some of whom say the city itself is a divine being in its own right. It is for that reason first and foremost that the Northern Alliance calls it the city of heretics, proud and unyielding in their strange ways. But age-old feuds are reduced to mere distractions as the entire world shudders as the shifts seemingly grow more aggressive where once they were placid. The landscape of their home world seems to shift more drastically in a short span of time than ever it has before, and many are driven to terror at the thought that reality may be collapsing into an unrecognizable form of chaos as they watch the mechanics of their world come apart at the seams. Loom arrives to a sundered Wyrrawyr, as parted and torn with unknown magical phenomena as if a slip-strike earthquake had cracked the earth’s crust open. It is in a sundered Wyrrawyr that Loom meets Death. Specifically, the local Wyrrawyran incarnation of Death, who offers Loom a deal: stand as Death’s champion and agent to investigate the phenomenons, and to enact Death’s will in restoring a form of natural order back to their world—among Loom’s tasks should he accept is to find those souls spirited away by forces unknown. Gods unknown, perhaps, is Death’s suspicion. In exchange for Loom’s services, Death offers him an out that will spare him from dying from Wraith Fade—and this is the only way to avoid that fate and all the sinister after effects that come with it. But both their deal and the “cure,”—in so much as it can be called that—requires Loom to leave their home world, never to return again. Loom must go where Death cannot: into the new world that is slowly colliding with their own, the two ripping each other apart like the collision of galaxies into a new, singular galaxy. A world where magic is a foreign idea, and technology is the watchword of nearly all who live there. A world that is out of place. This collision shouldn’t have happened. These two worlds were not on a collision course—far from it, they had been moving away from each other in their shared planes of existence. That is why the gods of Loom’s world have taken to calling the matter the Redshift Collision. It is the possibility of survival and a world full of the unknown that Death offers, should Loom agree—or, as a mercy, the option of a swift, safe, and painless passing into death and the afterlife, if Loom would prefer to die in his home world while he is still himself. Loom accepts. And that’s the starting point for Redshift Collision’s story!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #357

“your magic white rabbit has left its writing on the wall  /  we follow like alice, and just keep diving down the hole”

Are you better at telling stories or writing them? Writing, by a long shot. What’s one song you hate, but know every word to? i'm a barbie girl in a fckn barbie woooooorld What’s your favorite magazine? I don’t read magazines. If you could be an animal for one day, which animal would you choose? Probably a house cat. Be indoors and safe, able to just nap... lol. But I'd want another cat as a friend, too! Do you prefer outdoor or indoor concerts/events? Indoors, by a mile. I get hot outside way too easily. Do you know if you were a planned child? I don't know. What’s your favorite gem? Dragon's breath opal. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? I'd like to live in a house, especially with the pets I want. I doubt many apartment complexes would allow multiple reptiles and inverts. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? It doesn't matter much to me, but I prefer the stem. The texture is more likeable to me. Do bats frighten you? No, I adore bats! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah, it's a pretty place. Are you a KPOP fan? No, I've never really checked it out. How long was your longest relationship? Over three and a half years. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? We were outside roasting marshmallows one night. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I don't dish 'em out for nothing. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states of America, what state would you WANT to be named after? I actually think "Nevada" would be kinda pretty as a name? Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? I've wondered this for a long while, really. I lean towards it being a mix, maybe? But more towards universal, I think... with some exceptions. This answer is all over the place, I honestly don't know. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No? I think the "why not" is obvious... You just don't. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teachers, garbagemen, retail and food workers... There's a lot. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? Thank Christ no. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. Have you ever had Fiji brand water? I actually don't believe I have, though it's always looked appealing to me, haha. What’s your favorite horror movie? The Crazies and the first Silent Hill, as well as both Blair Witch Projects. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? I'd rather not even think about things the bitch said to me. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you got mad and broke something? I've never broken something when mad. What color dress did you wear to prom? My first was maroon, second one was black. Who is the cutest baby you know? My friend has a daughter named Scarlett who is absolutely gorgeous. Have you ever thrown a rock at a window? No, because I respect people's fucking property. Has anyone ever thrown a rock at your window? No. Does your hair react well to dye, or does it damage it? It likes to not take dye at all. >.> I have only had one instance where a friend dyed it red and it stuck for months and months, but we kept it in for a couple hours, I think. My normal hairdresser says it's because my hair is really healthy and I guess rejects it. What kind of pet do you wish you had? I ramble plenty about how I want tarantulas and more reptiles, haha. I also DESPERATELY want to rescue or foster an opossum. When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? I haven't been diagnosed with anything in quite some time, I believe, but as I'm going through the process of being approved for TMS therapy for my depression, my bipolar diagnosis is being questioned, which is... strange to me. It's been acknowledged by many a doctor that I have bipolar 2, but if insurance recognizes my primary diagnosis as bipolar, they won't cover TMS because it can massively excite the mania portion of bipolarity, and therefore I can't do it because we can't manually afford it. I'm willing to take the risk by far, as I've never had issues with mania, but I can't without insurance. I'm just waiting to hear back from them... What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? I really don't know. How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? I get very scared if it's a man. I don't like anyone doing it, and my anxiety will spike regardless, I'm just terrified of angry men. Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Who has the power to break you? Jason still might. I don't know. Is anyone in your family blind? My sister is legally blind in one eye. Do you believe in evolution? Yeah. I do find the concept odd, that ALL LIFE originated from one thing, but I sure ain't got a better explanation, so. What job do you think people should be paid the most for? Surgeons, maybe? I dunno, that's a big question. Were you ever held back a year in school? Did you ever skip a grade? No. Have you ever been given a hickey? Have you given one? Yeah to both. What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I have the most basic white bitch middle name in the world, lol. Do you like the age you are? Eh, I don't mind it much, but I think it'd be better to be in my early 20s versus mid 20s. I'm just always so tired now. I can't believe I used to refuse to go to sleep before 10:30. What’s your favourite kind of poptart? The chocolate sundae one. If you had to eat one type (Chinese, etc.) of food which would it be? American bc I'm not very adventurous with food at all. When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? *shrug* Are your fingers long, or short? Long. Mom's always said I have "piano fingers." Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? Yeah, I love it, but don't play it nearly as much as I want because I don't exactly go anywhere, lol. My bud's Charmeleon, and I'm probably like five EXP from level 28. Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? I don't own either, so. Do you know how to read animals’ behavior? I honestly think I'm very good at it. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Yes, but not as much as I used to. All I really play nowadays is World of Warcraft. The only working console I have is a PS2, and I haven't bought a new game in probably a couple years, but there are definitely ones I want to play, mainly on PS4. Just can't afford it right now. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. There's no way I could, given my tremors. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? Books. When is the last time you ate donuts? It's been months, man. I've seriously been craving a glazed one, though. Krispy Kreme sounds amaaaaaziiiiiing. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Somehow. Do you like raisins? NO NO NO NO NO. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? More than once. Do you like ants? They're genuinely extremely fascinating animals, but they're seriously annoying nevertheless. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. What was your favorite ice cream flavor when you were little? Chocolate. Is it still your favorite? Eh, depends on the day. By the way, what is your name? Brittany. What time zone do you live in? EST. Do you like cats? I love cats. What’s the most creepy experience you’ve ever had? One night when my mom and sister were at the beach for a dance competition, I was having trouble sleeping, and it only got worse when my dog Teddy started freaking the fuck out, barking loudly and staring intently at the foot of the bed. I was so scared that I tried to force his head to lie down, but he fought against me. I was terrified, but got up out of the bed and went into the living room to call my mom at like 3 in the damn morning, and she had to have our neighbor come over to sleep in the house with me (I was in a different room that night). You can't convince me that there wasn't paranormal shit going on. I think the house was haunted honestly, for multiple reasons. What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? Hm, I dunno. What’s the coolest place that you've ever been to? What’d you do there? Disney World was very memorable as a kid. We just went around collecting signatures, going on rides, all that fun stuff. I'll never forget fireworks at the castle. If you’re interested in having a long-term relationship with someone, do you think that waiting a certain amount of time before you first have sex is a good idea? Or does it not matter? I think it's a good idea, personally, mostly for the sake of reducing the spread of STDs. Just because you think you'll be long-term, doesn't mean you will be. Besides that, isn't there a science that sex and feelings of love are connected? Like, sex is impossible without at least some underlying emotions? I might be entirely wrong, in which case forgive me for spreading misinformation, but if that's so and things don't go as planned, you've gotten emotionally invested in someone too early and wind up getting hurt. You do you, I just don't think it's smart. Have you ever discovered something big by looking through someone’s phone, Facebook, email, etc.? No. Have you kept anything from your past relationships? (Things they left at your house, gifts, notes, etc) Do you think that’s a big deal for future relationships or not? Yeah, like plushies and little stuff like that. When it's tiny things like I just mentioned, I really don't think it matters. I think some things might be questionable to keep, but at the same time, I don't think it's really wrong to keep memories of a happy time, if the thing still brings you joy and has been emotionally disconnected from the ex? Idk. Do you have any financial regrets? Either way, what’s an example of a GOOD financial decision you’ve made? Going to and dropping out of college three fucking times. I don't know about a good financial decision seeing as I'm not even in charge of my own finances, nor really have any to begin with. Are you a believer in “signs” from the Universe about things in your life? If you are, can you think of a particular example? No. Name some things that one or both of your parents are really good at or really interested in. Mom LOVES medical stuff, like watching surgeries and stuff like that. She is also absolutely incredible with children. Dad likes sports a lot, hockey and football especially. Think of a good friend of the opposite sex (currently or in the past). Have you ever had any sort of “more than a friend” or sexual thoughts about them? If not, can you explain why? Well, we dated briefly, so... It was awkward to, but I let myself imagine sexual situations a few times to help myself understand if I really did like-like him, or if he was truly just a brother to me. Turns out, he's a bro. If someone told you that you would never achieve something and you ended up doing it, would you have any interest in finding that person and showing them? I'ma be honest, yes. I wouldn't actively seek them out, but rather just hope they somehow find out or I run into them or something. What is the most jealousy-induced thing you’ve ever done? Apparently, be the girl Juan liked instead of this girl that literally threatened to deck me. Guess what? We're friends now lmaoooo.

[hoothootmotherf-ckers]

Overpopulation, Ecofascism, and Covid-19

There’s a lot of posts going around right now about the effects of isolation due to Covid-19 on the environment, ranging from misinformed to really, truly alarming. They are all, to put it mildy, utter bullshit. And since I now have a lot of free time and am just weeks away from a degree in both environmental studies and anthropology, I’m here to shut this shit down.

The “Overpopulation Issue” is incorrect and rooted in eugenics.

So, the idea of overpopulation is frequently touted as the primary threat to the environment. It usually cites birth rates in place such as India, China, and sub-Saharan Africa, arguing that if we want to keep a livable planet, we need to dramatically cut back on human reproduction. This is astoundingly incorrect. 

It’s generally agreed by environmental scientists today that the problem isn’t overpopulation, it’s overconsumption. Overpopulation arguments are based on an idea that everyone consumes the same amount of food, materials, energy, etc, and as a result has the same impact on the environment. This is blatantly untrue. For just one starting set of data, the United Nations Environment Programme states that the United States produces more greenhouse gas emissions than the continents of South America and Africa combined. In a year, the average European consumes seven times as much material as the average African, also according to the UN. The average United States inhabitant consumes thirty-six times as much as the average Indian. Uneven consumption, and the consumption levels in the US and Europe in particular, have much more drastic environmental impacts than the consumption in regions like India with dramatically higher populations. 

But where did this idea of overpopulation as the root issue come from? One starting point is with Thomas Malthus’s “An Essay on the Principle of Population” in 1798. Malthus argued that human population was growing at such a rate that within decades, our rate of food consumption would outstrip our rate of food production, causing widespread famines. The solution to this problem would be a combination of lowering birth rates and increasing death rates. As you can imagine, this didn’t go over very well at the time, and we know now, over 200 years later, that his estimates were absurdly incorrect. However, Malthus laid the groundwork for later arguments.

Here’s the bit where it gets pretty yikes. The overpopulation movement as we know it kicked off in the 20th century - with the rise of the western eugenics movement. The ideas of overpopulation were becoming common, but with a twist; it was not overpopulation in general that was an issue, but the increasing populations of certain ethnicities and nationalities. Does that sound like the Nazis to you? It should, because this is the same ideology that brought them to power. Though targets varied by individual group, the eugenics movement tended to focus on people of color, those with physical and intellectual disabilities, and religious minorities. 

Paul Ehrlich’s book The Population Bomb, written in 1968, builds upon the groundwork placed by Malthus, and that created by the eugenics movement. Like Malthus, Ehrlich predicted widespread famine in the 1970s - and was again utterly wrong - but he takes it a step further than his predecessor. Ehrlich’s book focused on specific countries that he believed would be hardest hit by overpopulation - in particular, India, but overall much of the “global south.” Ehrlich believed the United States should lead foreign policy in this regard, and a variety of measures (including refusing food aid in famines to countries that didn’t meet the US’s standards of population control) should be implemented and enforced by the nation. 

Ehrlich’s book was published just two years before the start of the US environmental movement, and shaped a large portion of its ideology. This is where ecofascism comes in. 

The rise and dangers of ecofascism.

Ecofascism, as a concept, has been around for decades. Its formal origins are thought to again begin with the Nazi party’s ideas regarding the link between racial purity and connection to their homeland. Over the years, it has morphed into an ideology formed of a fusion between environmentalism and white nationalism. Though it presents in a variety of ways amongst differing groups, the main takeaway is that lowering the population, specifically by eliminating non-white races or ethnicities, is the only way to save the planet. This is exemplified by Garrett Hardin, best known for his idea of the Tragedy of the Commons but here relevant for his support for Finnish ecologist Pentti Linkola’s idea of “lifeboat ethics.” Linkola’s idea, because I’m nauseated by trying to summarize it, is as follows. 

“What to do, when a ship carrying a hundred passengers suddenly capsizes and there is only one lifeboat? When the lifeboat is full, those who hate life will try to load it with more people and sink the lot. Those who love and respect life will take the ship's axe and sever the extra hands that cling to the sides.”

Yeah. It’s notable that Hardin was a known white supremacist, and his writing makes it clear exactly who he expects to be in the lifeboat and who is on the sides. 

Ecofascism has had real and lasting damage, especially in the past few years. Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, wrote ecofascist manifestos as his way of justifying his actions. With a fictionalized Netflix series released in 2017, Kaczynski's ideas were brought to the forefront again, and have been growing since. The 2019 Christchurch shooter wrote a manifesto where he explicitly declared himself an ecofascist, again as a justification for his actions. 

How is this relevant to Covid-19?

There have been a wide variety of posts going around in the last few weeks about the results of Covid-19 and quarantining. The one about Venice’s clean canals is a pretty popular one, as well as various posts about animals “reclaiming” cities as people shelter in place. These posts are generally linked with a few key points at the end, including “this is what we could have without people in the way,” “humans are the real virus,” and even “we should let Covid-19 take its course for the good of the planet.” 

I don’t think I need to explain at this point how these tie into overpopulation ideology. However, there are two key details that you should remember. First, especially at its beginning, Covid-19 was heavily associated with China and Asia, a frequent target of overpopulation debates and also, you know, generally populated by not white people. Second, if Covid-19 “takes its course,” the people who die will be the poor, the disenfranchised, those without access to healthcare or with existing medical risks. Based on demographics regarding race and poverty in the US, that primarily means people of color and people with disabilities.  

Okay, so yikes on all fronts. It’s worth noting that a lot of people expressing these sentiments are not aware they’re sharing fascist and white supremacist ideology. The “Overpopulation Issue” is still a very widespread idea, especially within environmental groups. However, it generally exists as the vague idea of “less people is good, maybe.” It takes a bit of research, and the knowledge that you should be looking for something, to uncover its eugenicist roots. 

That is not to say that all people sharing these sentiments are innocent. White supremacists and people with other forms of fascist ideologies are pretty good at sharing mostly innocuous versions of their beliefs, things that your average, non-fascist person might agree with. It’s a quiet way of getting you over to their sides, getting you adjusted to their ideas so that you may not notice or not care when they start to ramp them up to more explicitly genocidal. And it’s very easy for ecofascists to take advantage of the widespread fear right now, to spread the environmental results of quarantine as a spot of lightness in the encompassing darkness.  

Basically, what I’m saying is be careful. Be skeptical of these posts, of the ideas of overpopulation as a danger or mass deaths as a benefit. Read critically, keep an eye out, and don’t fall into eugenicist mindsets. Look for lightness in the dark, but don’t accidentally spread support of ecofascism.

[slashermom]

Hey can you do a writing for Michael bubba Jason and the other slashers with a s/o who’s a vampire/witch? 🌹

Michael Myers (Witch)

Michael was 99.9% sure he had seen it all then there you are bursting in with your beautiful witchy self and he’s not quite sure how to handle it.

He definitely doesn’t understand the supernatural aspects of it all, but he’s not very talkative so he’s got pretty good listening ears.

You explain how it’s cultural and societal effects have spanned over centuries and the now more common practice, Wicca. Which was very different from his original thoughts, which were that they were created solely for Halloween.

Micheal thinks he’s cursed after being shot, stabbed, thrown out widows, you name it, it probably happened to him and he is still walking around. So he’ll question you on if you can confirm his suspensions regarding his mortality because in his eyes, you’re the all knowning being on all things other worldly.

Micheal keeps it in the back of his mind to not fuck with you, he’s seen what happens to people who wrong you and to be completely honest, doesn’t know the full extent of your powers and isn’t looking to find out anytime soon.

Bubba Sawyer (Vampire)

This actually works out amazingly well for the two of you!

You lead victims to the Sawyer house, drain ‘em dry and then Bubba takes care of the rest. Teamwork makes the dream work.

But that being said, Bubba is confused on this whole vampire thing you got going on.

He thought vampires only lived in the scary stories Drayton used to tell him before he went to bed as a little boy. But boy, did that knock his socks off when you admitted to him what you were.

In a way is intimidated by your ability. But he loves ya so he sets that aside.

Loves to look at your fangs, will pull your lip up with his thumb to get a look while you guys are cuddling or even when you’re talking.

Jason Voorhees (Witch)

Witchcraft isn’t totally foreign to him, or least he doesn’t think it is. He’s seen kids come in and draw pentagrams and light candles and chant.

You have to explain to him that those were definitely devil worshipers.

He kind of thought witches and devil worshippers were one in the same after Pamela had a very heated and misinformed discussion on the topic. So just take some time and explain all the different types of witchcraft and the logistics and he’ll be good to go.

Thinks all the jars you have filled herbs and the crystals you have laying about are really interesting and wonders what all of them do.

Jason is just really curious on the nuances, probably still has some prejudices on the whole thing, be patient with him.

But besides that he’s content with watching you work your magic (figuratively and actually) from the side lines and staying out of your hair.

Jennifer Check (Vampire)

A dynamic duo.

She’s really into it. Thinks it really attractive and loves to see how powerful you truly are even though you could pass off as the average person you would meet on the street.

Likes having an s/o who has the same kind of primal need that she does. Really helps you two connect on another level besides romantic attraction.

Likes to go and scout out victims together, linked arm and arm.

But Jennifer is totally down if you’re in a pinch and need some blood.

“My body is here and ready, babe.” “Jen-“

Bo Sinclair (Witch)

You’re a what now?!

He might laugh a little at first but once you show what you’re about he’s all ears.

Now ain’t that something! He’s amazed with all your capabilities, spells and rituals. He didn’t know there was so much to it, let alone people like you even existed.

But he’s still gonna tease you a little.

“So... Was that you in the Blair Witch Project?” Or if you’re doing something “How’s your Hocus Pocus goin’ baby girl?”

All and all, he’s not gonna really mess around with that aspect of your life. You’ve got that under wrap, he’s gonna stick to his cars and his own magic wand. (aka his gun)

[thepropertylovers]

What Foreigners Really Think of The U.S. Right Now

The other night, after the kiddos went to bed, we decided to watch the second Borat movie that just came out (have you seen it?). It was insane and hilarious all at the same time, but it got me wondering: what do folks who don’t live in the U.S. think of The United States of America right now? What is their perception of us?

So I decided to pose this question on Instagram and wow. Y’all did not hold back. I want to thank everyone who submitted for your candidness and honesty, even if some of these were hard to swallow. It’s important to note that just because these are their opinions of America, it doesn’t mean it is all necessarily true. Regardless, it was interesting to read everyone’s thoughts and get an outsider’s perspective.

We received hundreds of submissions and couldn’t post them all, but below, people from all over the world share what they really think of the United States at the moment.

Leadership is out of touch with reality and messing things up real bad, not just for the U.S. but also for the world. What’s worse is that half the country is being misled successfully. It just shows poorly on the country all over. -Annonymous

Your president is a disaster when it comes to foreign politics and corona. No class, no knowledge. A joke. Very scary to watch. But half of the voters are happy with it. And that is even more scary. Very difficult to understand the hate and ignorance in your society right now. -Mikkel

It’s just weird. Everything basically. I totally understand now why the U.S. is described as '“flawed democracy” in the democracy index. It’s just a crazy system which is not providing equality among people- regarding the vote especially. This system leads to the fact of the two big parties (similar in the UK basically). But democracy is about diversity in opinions and options. Not just two. -Max

The US is more divided than ever. The two parties cannot work together nor do they appear to want to. The government is no longer run by reason, facts, and policy aiming for the betterment of the entire country and or world in the long or medium run; rather it’s instant gratification for the few who benefit from nepotism. Lies and misinformation are used to build a dictatorship hiding in the form of “patriotism”. And those who could act as a check or balance focus on their own personal gain, putting their needs above those of the persons they should be representing. -Joel

I personally don’t think there is a very good atmosphere in the USA, especially right now, Trump’s administration does not protect the American people or the economy. He only cares about himself and his male-white supremacy. The worst of all is that lots of Americans think Trump is actually a good leader (idk why, honestly). But thank God that people are starting to wake up and fight about what they believe. We can see it through BLM protests, feminist movements, and so on, and the whole world is proud about those people fighting for their rights. America was once the land of dreams, but nowadays (with all that is happening) it is even scary to go there. Lots of things have to change and those changes have to start, voting and defending your rights and your beliefs are the first step. Greetings from Spain. -Antonio

The main reasons I can think of are vote suppression/gerrymandering, expensive health care wealth inequality, racism, lack of fun control… -Brian

Definitely find the hypocrisy of the Republicans so annoying, Trump still being in office, the fact that there has been no police reform or justice for Breonna Taylor, the gun laws, and the COVID numbers just to name a few. -Brian

Here in the UK it seems like CARNAGE over there..don’t get me wrong, it’s wild here too but Trump is insane and it’s really odd seeing so many Americans supporting him. -Dan

Really worried about the fact that you might go for 4 more years with Trump and the fact that he’ll for sure contest the results if he loses. Add to this, all the racial violence and in particular the way some policemen act without being condemned by any judge. And finally the pandemic which seems to be even more out of control than in other countries. This is coming from someone who lives in France where we’re going to be under lockdown for the second time since the beginning of the pandemic (2nd lockdown starting tomorrow evening and will last at least until December 1st 😢). -Estelle

To put a long story short, let’s just hope Cheeto doesn’t get reelected otherwise our UK trade deal will be a disaster and we don’t need any more negative influences in the UK around gender and sexual equality.-Christian

I think with this administration, the US has demonstrated how to shipwreck a whole nation economically, ideologically, socially, and politically within a really short period of time. After just 4 years, we’ve come to associate the US with widespread narrow-mindedness, a lack of respect and courtesy to other nations (and minorities in its own country for that matter), short sightedness when it comes to global phenomena like environmentalism or migration patterns, and a celebration (by some at least) of almost barbaric notions of violence, oppression, and backward thinking, all under the camouflage of its constitution and socio-historic heritage. We’ve really admired the Obama administration over here in Europe, which-despite its flaws and shortcomings- has opened up the US to international partnerships and has established an ongoing discourse shaped by mutual respect and politeness…the contrast couldn’t be more pronounced these day…-Sebastian

I look at our Prime Minister and government and then see Trump and think we really could have it so much worse! Vote!! -Ant

As an American living in London, I can tell you that the news coverage here makes the US look like an absolute joke. Mainly due to 45, his lies, his bigotry, and his insane desire to make covid seem as though it’s a falsehood “created by the left” while hundreds of thousands of Americans have ben victimized by this pandemic. What was once seen as a country of opportunity and freedom, is sadly no longer held to that level of greatness in comparison to its neighboring countries. It saddens me because I had plans to move back home within the next year or so, but if the US continues on its path, I can see myself in London for the unforeseeable future. I can’t live in a country where I am seen or believed to be lesser than another because of my sexual preference. I can only hope and pray that this election brings the change we need to be that country of greatness once again. -Rob

Very poor to be honest. And I’m not necessarily [talking about Trump]- I think the immediate reaction is to blame him. Though, he is pretty awful. There was obviously a huge level of social and other problems in the US, and the current administration has exploited them to the breaking point. Whereas more “skilled” past administrations had the ability to leverage those issues for their benefit, but not let it boil over. I actually thought Trump would be a positive for the US and world- in that his incompetence would force other world leaders to step up. Meaning more equity in how disputes etc. are assessed and the US wouldn’t bully smaller nations. I think the US has hit the point in its journey with capitalism that the USSR hit with socialism in the late 80’s that led to its collapse. Does that mean collapse for the US, I don’t know but the system isn’t providing equity and equality for all as it stands. -Paul

Worried but also hopeful for you guys because I don’t think all citizens in America reflect the current administration. It’s been really great to see people voting early and making their voice heard. No matter what happens just know you did what you could in this moment in time. Even though the current administration provides a scary outlook for the future. As long as the current and future generations lead with love, there will hopefully be a brighter future. Love from Canada. -Ajetha

I've been subscribing to all of the US News since the Black Lives Matter Movement commenced and honestly, it made me scared as a Filipino Asian to step foot in the States ever since. I have big dreams of flying over there and probably working there as an immigrant after I finished college. However, when I found out about the racial injustice that is currently ongoing in the country, I became hesistant of still wanting to live there. Although, I'm positive that there are still people like you two that will be open about working immigrants, I really hope that racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia will end for good among every human beings in the US and also around the world. I do wish and pray that the 2020 US election will make certain amends to the current situation y'all are experiencing because it's getting pretty scary out there. -Harvey I’m an American living overseas working for the US government. I’m trying my hardest to stay overseas so my family and I don’t have to come back to the mess that is the US right now. From politics to COVID, it’s not a good time. While the virus may be surging again in Europe, at least the people comply with the government rules. Sometimes I believe Americans take freedom and liberty a bit too far, especially when it comes to the greater good. -Anonymous

Allthough on social policy the US is no real example for us (I think there is more social ‘security’, more justice, high standards in education for all in most of the EU countries), they always have been a ‘safe haven’ in big international politics. It now feels like ‘they have our back’ doesn’t imply anymore. -Jasper

Well personally I think the country seems in total disarray, instead of focusing on the real issues in the streets both house of the capitol are focused on bashing each other during the election campaign which is a circus due to the sitting POTUS. The obsession with the right to bare arms and the gun culture bewilders most other countries, you have teenagers walking into schools with Assault weapons and yet people still want guns to be available, worst still you ban one type of assault rifle but another just as powerful is kept on sale, it’s plain weird. -Philip

Neither candidate represents their party well. As an outsider looking in, it just baffles me that either of these men could potentially be the leader of the free world...It genuinely feels like worrying times are ahead for the US. -Marc I'm from India and living in Germany at the moment. The race problem in the US is as bad as the class/caste problem in India. Even if I don't have money I can go to a government health center in India. I just had an operation and stayed at the hospital for 18 days here in Germany, I had to pay only 180 Euros, everything else ( the operation and the many tests and scans that followed) was covered by the insurance. When my friends at the US heard about it they were shocked about low the hospital bill. There are really great labs (I'm a researcher) that I would like to work but I have no intentions of working/living in the US for a longer period of time. -Maithy

I think the US has become a joke to the rest of the developed world. Neither candidates running for president are fit to run such a powerful country. I can't help but feel after the election if Trump wins the left will riot and if Biden wins the right will riot. The country might just rip itself apart. American politics has zero empathy and zero morals. Honestly its terrifying. -Andrew

The US has always been a bit confusing to me - the two party system, the focus on religion, the divide in income and possibilities- as well as being the beacon of light in the fight for human rights, the strong personal pride in creating caring societets, the blending of and openeses for ethnicities and cultures... But for a while politics have become not at all about politics, religious beliefs are taking charge in policy work, the wealthier part shows little companion towards the less wealthy, the public spending is way above budget year after year while health care seems to be crazy expensive and not for all. The intrusion of US interest in politics in other countries are blunt to say the least, creating conflict where human lives have no value if they’re not US lives... School shootings that seems to be acted upon as that is part of normal lives, and schools to expensive for even middle class kids to study at... This is a shift in trust and soft power that affects all of us. -Olof

To be honest, I couldn’t come to the US right now, it scares me. The leadership, the gun laws, the violence and the divide of the nation. It sucks, because I love America and have been there 7 times in the last two years from Australia for work... but not anymore. I’m not coming back now until peace wins. -Anonymous

The fact that such a hate filled government is presiding over what is one the greatest countries in the world is scary. And it is seriously mind blowing that out of such a powerful country filled with some of the greatest minds in the world it’s these two men are the best you can do to be your next president. Unbelievable. Seriously unbelievable. -Rachel

I think the orange dude in office is making you guys look bad. But also, good (?). Seeing the black lives matter movement and so many of you stand up to the problems your country faces has been inspiring. One thing our countries have in common is how we are divided into very distinctive opposites sides. I mean, where do all these racists, bigots, utterly, madly conservites people came from? I few like a few years ago things did not seem so much as a boiling pan about to explode. Or maybe they were all hiding and when a lunatic like them rose to power (how that happened still boggles my mind) they all showed their true colors. It’s scary. I hope Trump doesn’t get reelected. Brazilians loooove to imitate americans🙄, so if he gets reelected it makes that much probable that our lunatic will also be in office for four more years. P.S. have you guys watched the show Years and Years from HBO? A really good watch is this election times! ☺️ -Taty

Re. The US atm. Unfortunately your president has made your country a laughing stock around the world and he's destroyed relationships with allies. It's gonna take time to rebuild all of that. He's also moved an entire branch of your government to the far right, even though the majority of the country if left/centr of left. So you've a supreme court that doesn't represent you and it's looking like they're going to try and take away rights from people. You have a healthcare system that doesn't look out for its people and there's this bizarre fear of universal healthcare that seems insane to every other 1st world country. If if Biden wins (and I really hope he does for everyone's sake), there's going to be a lot of work in undoing the damage Trump has done before he can even get into what he wants to do. All the while you've an ultra conservative highest court. There's also the massive political division and the systemic racism. It's a lot. It's not impossible, but it's going to take so much time and people who want it to change. -Ciara

I’ve been sitting here for an hour thinking about your question and there are many different outlooks I could raise so I’ll keep it generic. I’ll start with the elephant in the room known as Covid. Each day, our morning news informs us of what your leaders are doing and daily case numbers in the US. We sit here completely shocked at how your government has let it reach this point. You may have heard that Melbourne has just come out of one of the strictest and longest lock downs in the world. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone to have to do, but I will say, I feel much more comfortable to be able to go to the shops knowing the numbers are at about 2-3 a day instead of in the thousands. I do think that your government does need to address this now, could even be making it compulsory mask wearing. It’s hard for me to comment about your economy as we don’t here much about it, but I will say Trump ‘says’ make America great again, let’s get more jobs, they are pro life, yet how is someone who is prolife not doing anything to stop a virus that is killing people? Isn’t your unemployment rate worse (pre-covid) than what it was when Obama was president? I think as a generic outlook, if change isn’t made in the election, the outlook from a Australian does not look like it would be something you’d want to be apart of. I love America. Have visited a couple of times, even thought about moving there, but at the moment, I’ve never been more thankful to not be there. -Ben

[stonebreakerseries]

Day3: Youth + “You did this?”

Day 3 of @oc-growth-and-development​​’s OC-tober challenge and the @fictober-event​!

Series: Stonebreaker (Original Fiction) Characters: Tellene & Re’an

If the knock at her door had been any more timid, Tellene might have mistaken it for a trick of the wind. Well, it’s about time. Huffing, she reached down, sliding the key around her wrist into a small hole in her desk. With a twist, the door at the far side of the room clicked open. “Come in,” she said, taking a brief moment to check the state of her robes, making sure the red lapel lay flat and creaseless. Appearances were important business in Tel Shival. Almost as important as one’s skill, although the two seemed closer in competition now than they used to be. It was difficult to stand out in a place so overflowing with talent. Both the Allied Kingdoms and Khathi Empire only ever sent their best, and even then, most were turned away.

Luckily, Tellene, First of the Weavers, never had a problem making a name for herself.

It had been quite some time since she last dealt with an accolt. Being the youngest and least capable among their ranks, Tellene never had the patience to hold their hands as they trembled their way through basic glyphstrings. In fact, it was a testament to her dislike of instructing that she only spent a year as a Leirah before seeking - and gaining - a place among the Maesars. Now, Tellene folded her hands in front of her and fixed her narrowed gaze on the door as it tentatively inched open.

Oh Divider’s Own...

“Quickly, accolt. My time is precious. I will not have it wasted.” 

That seemed to do the trick. By the drawing of her next breath, a nervous youth stood in her study, the door swinging shut behind him, his hands worrying the white sash around his waist. Like many from the western-most regions of the Empire, Re’an was slight in stature, his grey-brown skin reminding Tellene of the ashewoods that bordered her childhood home. While his entry record placed him at nineteen, he looked at least three years younger, with wide brown eyes and an almost frenetic disposition. Although, she conceded that could be circumstantial, given her reputation. Not to worry. The rigours of study and the intellectual warren of academia would age him soon enough.

However, and most interestingly, this young man had already found a way to stand out from the herd.

“M-Maeser Tellene,” Re’an stammered. Then, like a panicked afterthought, he raised two fingers to his throat and bowed his head reverently. Or it would have been reverent, if he didn’t appear moments away from fainting. “I, um… y-you sent for me?”

Tellene arched a brow. Rather than state the obvious, she simply cleared her throat and raised a small bundle of papers, bound together by a red string. Holding them aloft for Re’an to see, it was hard not to feel a little sympathy as the colour drained from his skin. “You did this?” she asked. 

Funny, how simple questions rarely received simple answers.

“No,” he replied immediately, almost instinctively, then hesitated. “I mean, I-I’m not… I’m not sure if… I don’t---”

---“Let me make this easier,” Tellene interjected. She flipped the papers over and inspected the cover page. “Is your name Re’an?”

He cringed, but nodded, some of the nervous energy bleeding out as he resigned himself to his fate. “Yes, Maesar.”

“And you are a third year accolt?”

“Yes, Maesar.”

“And you recently sat an exam for Leirah Sonoval’s class on...” She glanced at the paper again, barely concealing a frown. “Thaumic Rhetoric: A History of Dissent?”

What in the Divider’s name were they teaching these days?

With her opinions carefully hidden behind painfully endured etiquette training, Tellene simply returned her attention to Re’an. Again, he nodded, apparently having lost the ability to use his voice. Sighing, Tellene was about to press on, but an errant thought stopped her in her tracks. This could be an interesting moment to gauge his mettle. In fact, with what she intended, she would be remiss not to seize such an organic opportunity.

“I imagine,” she continued slowly, setting the papers down and turning to the first page, “you have some theories as to why you are here?”

To her surprise, Re’an didn’t hesitate, equivocate, or attempt any other twist of rhetoric he had so clearly studied. 

“I cheated.”

Good. So, he was reasonably honest, despite evidence to the contrary. That or he was clever enough to know that lying would serve him poorly. Either way, Tellene approved. If nothing else, it showed he could assess a situation quickly and with some accuracy, even while shaking hard enough she swore she could hear his bones clicking together. 

Folding her hands on her desk, Tellene flicked her gaze to the wooden chair at the side of the room, nestled between stacks of books. Hesitantly, Re’an followed her silent instruction, picking it up and carrying it over. Once he set it down, he stood awkwardly by its side, unsure of how to proceed. I love that my reputation still precedes me, Tellene thought, before making an acquiescing motion.

“Sit, and tell me exactly how you cheated.”

Even though Re’an perched on its edge, chair seemed to swallow him, his arms drawn close, heel bouncing agitatedly against the carpeted floor. But then, much to her surprise, his brown eyes flicked up, meeting her gaze. Holding it. 

Interesting. 

“You don’t already know?”

A faint smile threatened the corner of Tellene’s lips. She fended it off. “It is clear to anyone with a set of eyes that you copied entire sentences - sometimes paragraphs - from a variety of seminal texts.” She leaned forward, chair creaking slightly beneath her. “I asked how you did it, in an exam hall, under the watchful eye of three supervising Leirah. And do not lie to me. This is important.”

Re’an shifted, wiping his palms on his robes. It was though his skin was too tight and he wanted nothing more than to be rid of it. “I, ah…” The words stuck like glue to the back of his throat. “I... have a bane, Maesar.”

Tellene regarded him flatly. “A bane.” With a suffering sigh, she reached up, massaging her forehead with her fingertips. Unfortunately, it took time to overcome a youth spent surrounded by misinformed superstition; nonsense like banes and knacks and the old gods. It was yet another process she lacked patience for. “Oh, very well. What kind of bane, then?”

Clearly sensing her irritation - mostly because she never bothered to conceal it - Re’an refused to meet her gaze, chin down, fists pressed to the tops of his thighs. “I-I remember things well. Too well. Mostly things I read, like words, pictures, symbols...” He pulled in a breath, then mustered the courage to look up again. “Maeser Tellene, I read every text Leirah Sonoval set, then a few more outside the curriculum. The Maeser Librarian recommended some papers as well, and I read those too. Exams, they… they make me nervous. It gets hard to think, so I always over-prepare.”

“Many accolts feel the same way, and compensate similarly.” She tapped his paper with her nail, the sound sharp, ringing through the room. “That does not explain what you did here.”

Re’an hesitated. “I know what I need to say, most of the time. But when I start changing the words it just…” He wrinkled his nose, and Tellene saw an old frustration in the expression. This was not a recent struggle for him. “It just doesn’t sound right anymore. It’s like the way it was written the first time was how it was meant to go, and when I change it, something always gets lost. This time, when I saw the question, I panicked. So I just took the parts of what I read that seemed relevant and wrote them down. I didn’t even think about---”

Tellene held up a finger, silencing Re’an mid-sentence. “I did not ask for excuses. You are not here to beg forgiveness.”

The comment seemed to surprise him. “I’m not?” A genuine look of confusion swept across his face, followed closely by an even more surprising emotion. One that straightened his spine and brightened his eyes with something alarmingly familiar. “Then... why am I here?”

Curiosity.

Tellene leaned back in her chair, folding her hands over her stomach. “I have met many thaumists with incredible memories. In truth, as a Maesar Weaver, I consider myself among them. But even in the best of circumstances, none of us can transcribe entire passages of relevant information - from multiple resources - with perfect accuracy. Not the way you have. It is highly unusual.”

Some of the young man’s self-consciousness returned. “Yeah, I know.” He caught himself, stiffening. “Ah, I mean: yes, Maesar Tellene.”

She waved a dismissive hand. “How long have you been in Tel Shival, Re’an?”

“Three years.”

“Do you lack ambition?”

He blinked, startled. “No? Maesar, I---”

---“Then why have you hidden this skill for so long?”

Still rattled by her previous question, he answered this one with far less hesitation, hands shaking. “Because I didn’t want people treating me like I’m---”

Tellene raised her brows as Re’an bit off his sentence, his jaw physically clenching from the strain of it. “Like an anomaly?” she offered. Re’an huffed, a rueful smile tinging his lips that made him appear much closer to his age. Maybe even a little older.

“That is a... nicer way of putting it than I’m used to, Maesar.”

Ah. There it is. He had been hurt before. Treated like an oddity at best, an aberration at worst. She would have to tread more carefully than she thought. “Re’an,” she said, and her tone pulled him out of his mind and back into the room. “You are aware that what you are capable of is in no way a ‘bane’, are you not?” 

“I…” He looked down. “Yes, Maesar.”

Not so honest, then.

As much as Tellene lacked patience for most accolts, this one tugged at her. It spurred something almost protective; an instinct she thought she had fed to the sharks years ago. Perhaps being faced by a unique mind, still young enough to doubt its own capacity, had struck a chord she thought severed. Or perhaps she had simply uncovered some long-buried empathy.

Either way, she had made her decision.

“Cheating on a final exam is grounds for severe censure, depending on the Leirah. You are aware of this?”

Re’an squeezed his eyes shut. “Yes, Maesar.”

“And you are aware, being in your third year, that any censures on your record will severely jeopardise your opportunities when selecting a discipline?”

He sounded almost feverish. Defeated. “Yes, Maesar.” He swallowed tightly. “I… I want to apologise. I made a mistake. I will accept whatever punishment Leirah Sonoval sees fit.”

“Leirah Sonoval would have you expelled.”

Wide brown eyes fixed on her, horrified. ”He---what?” Re’an bolted to his feet, breaths coming in short bursts. It was as though he was unsure of whether to stay, run, or faint. “Maesar, please, I won’t do it again - I swear I won’t. It was one time - the only one in the three years I’ve been here. I can retake the exam, a harder one even, I don’t care. I’ll do anything, but please, please…”

Part of Tellene thought this moment would be somehow satisfying. It was an important moment - one she could not avoid if she was to make sure she got what she needed. But instead, as she watched Re’an blink back tears, frantic and terrified, all she felt was pity. Maybe even guilt.

Divider, what was happening to her lately? She was losing her touch. It was a good thing she rarely left her studies, or maintaining her reputation would be significantly more difficult.

“What discipline did you plan to join, Re’an?”

The change of subject - possibly even her change in tone - managed to shake him from his panic. Somewhat. “I… I couldn’t decide between the Augists and the Weavers.”

For the first time, Tellene allowed a smile to tinge her lips. “Well... perhaps I can help you reach a decision.”

This time, when he looked at her, there was no more fear. No more self-consciousness. No more dread. There was simply hope, pure and reckless. 

“Y-You would let me join the Weavers?” Re’an swiped his eyes hurriedly with his sleeve, clearly embarrassed. “But Leirah Sonoval---”

---“Has no power over a Maesar’s charge.” She met his gaze. “I will allow him to assign you some texts on academic ethics to appease his wounded pride, but should you accept, that will be the end of the matter.” She paused, then added, “Provided you do not do it again.” Unless instructed.

She gave him a moment to let her offer sink in. It was an extremely rare thing for an accolt to be taken on as a charge, yet alone by a Maesar. In her twelve years as First of the Weavers, Tellene had never even considered taking a charge. Even from among the Leirah, who had petitioned her incessantly for a good ten of them. It was too much work for too little return. Too much like mentoring, which she had gone to great lengths to avoid.

Yet... here she was.

“You won’t regret this,” Re’an said suddenly, as though reading her mind. He seemed to have collected himself, and while he still trembled, there was something else about him now. Something charged and determined, if not to prove himself, then to prove others wrong. That was good - he would have to do a lot of that. No one takes kindly to someone pulling ahead of the pack. Divider, he reminded her of another man she knew. All he needed was red hair and about ten times the stubbornness. “Maesar Tellene,” Re’an continued, “I don’t know how to thank you.”

At that, Tellene snorted, arching a brow. “If you think you will be thanking me for this, you clearly have not been paying attention. I suspect your dormmates have already reallocated your bed and said their farewells to their fallen friend.” When Re’an actually smiled, Tellene struggled against the urge to immediately scare it away. No, that would not do - not if he was to be her charge for the foreseeable future. She could not bear timidity for any length of time. “You will meet me here every morning, directly after first meal. I am beginning your lessons in advanced glyphwork early.”

Re’an nodded frantically, swept along by the moment and all of its promise. 

Then he stopped.

“Um... Maesar?”

“Yes?”

“I have Leirah Pelona’s class after first meal tomorrow.”

“I see.” Tellene leaned back, chair creaking beneath her weight. “Have you read the works of Djenovir?

“Yes, Maesar.”

“And you can recite them?”

“Yes.”

“Then you have already completed the class.” With that, she turned the key in her desk, and the door on the far side of the room clicked open. “Don’t be late.”

[followingthered]

This past weekend I was slated to lead worship at my church, but was replaced Saturday evening over growing concerns for some of my online activities and comments over the last month. (THIS IS VERY LONG I’M SORRY MOBILE USERS)

In case it wasn’t clear from what I post here, I have been actively sharing information and promoting BLM protests and calls for reform including sharing numerous examples of police brutality, excessive use of force, and trying to expose the issues prevalent in the system that I have only recently been educated on myself.

Alongside this, I have been trying to engage with those actively sharing misinformation on COVID-19 in regards to wearing masks and in general. The scary thing about it is that it has become a political tool for both sides to weaponize against one another, and trying to explain the truth and take a stand to defend the lives of those considered at risk, I have been labeled as some sort of shill or sheep, giving into the control of an oppressive government trying to strip its people of their rights or whatever. It’s been an exhausting month. An exhausting year, surely, but this month in particular seemed the hardest. I haven’t slept well. I find zero energy to do simple daily tasks. My depression hit me hard, and the constant war on truth has been wearing me out.

My faith has been going through changes and evolving. Looking back I realize it’s been happening probably since about 2014-2015, and was definitely kicked into high gear when the 2016 general election came around. Swaths of white evangelicals, people I once related to as a fellow Jesus follower, all voted for a man in which I saw no semblance of the Holy Spirit whatsoever. His policies, his attitude, his words, his manipulation of truth and consistent efforts to hide said truth, his overly apparent greed and pride and narcissism and lack of empathy, and not a single shroud of good “fruit” in sight. This man was somehow “anointed” by God to save this wretched country from its sin. And so many people I love were 100% on board with that. It rocked my faith.

Fast forward to this last week when, in exasperation from dealing with yet another white evangelical voice (to their credit, our conversation never steered toward politics and so I cannot speak to the connection there), I shared my thoughts on the afterlife as I believe today on the post of a fellow church member. My worship pastor stepped into the conversation and we had a pleasant discourse, I thought anyway, and carried on with the night. I knew I had stirred up something, as my beliefs do not line up with my church’s core beliefs and I am considered a leader in the church via the worship team (not paid, trained, pastored, or given any contracts to sign, mind you).

I discovered that the call to replace me was due to both my open support of BLM by sharing “divisive” posts with sweeping generalizations (this was actually mostly refuted by the worship director I spoke to, with very few exceptions) and my expression of a faith belief that did not align with the church standard. The decision made was to remove me from the stage and any formal leadership role for a month to take a break as the leadership team continues to process what kind of goal they’d like to set. I’m not quite sure what that means, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

What is most interesting to me during this time is not the decision to have me pulled out of leadership, which sucks but is not unexpected, but the other supposedly divisive posts. The problem is, I was told there were “many complaints” from various church folks about my posts for some time. The folks complaining never once came to me to clarify, or commented on anything. Instead they went to the worship director and said “hey what are you going to do about this?” They sent examples of problematic things I was sharing to him, and it very clearly became an issue. An issue that I was not ONCE approached about until this past weekend.

What’s even funnier is the entire church went through a small groups course about emotionally healthy relationships wherein we learned how to safely and effectively communicate our issues with one another. We just finished that course three weeks ago. Apparently that course didn’t stick, because they didn’t follow the steps at ALL. I was never approached about these things. No one expressed concern about it. And rather than do what was healthy, they let it get to the point where I was being “protected” by being removed from the public serving positions for awhile.

So anyway. All that to say I’m pretty sure I will be needing to find a new church home in the coming months, which is painful because I have some people I deeply connect with here and I really enjoy serving through worship. In fact I believe it has something to do with my “calling” if I even really believe in that anymore.

I understand the need for a united front in terms of representing the church core beliefs and values. I understand that their main focus is and should be showing Jesus to the world. I guess what I’m struggling with is how they think Jesus should be expressed in these times.

I don’t believe Jesus would be quiet about the problems plaguing our justice system and our BIPOC. I don’t believe Jesus would be cool with opening church doors in the midst of an actual plague and risking the lives of his beloved for money or to prove a point. I don’t believe Jesus would condone the abuse of religion to win votes. And I don’t believe Jesus would let any of his beloved burn in eternal conscious torment in a fiery pit. That is not the Jesus I know and love.