#us customs clearance

[doralcustomsbrokers]

https://www.doralcustomsbrokers.com/customs-clearance-in-miami/

Doral Customs Brokers offers expert customs clearance services for all your shipments coming into Miami, FL or any port of entry in the US. We believe that to truly offer valuable customs clearance services to our importers, we must become a valuable, efficient and helpful part of their logistics team. We go beyond to make sure that your shipments are handled with care and accuracy, and in an expedient manner.

[usadvlottery]

US Immigration and Customs Laws encompass a complex framework governing the movement of people and goods across the United States' borders. These laws are designed to regulate immigration, prevent illegal entry, ensure national security, and facilitate lawful trade and travel. They cover a wide range of topics, including visa requirements, border security measures, customs duties, import/export regulations, and enforcement mechanisms. Compliance with these laws is crucial for maintaining legal status, preventing unauthorized entry, and upholding the nation's safety and security. Various government agencies, such as the Department of Homeland Security, Customs and Border Protection, and Immigration and Customs Enforcement, oversee the enforcement and administration of these laws.

[mangocheesecakes]

Putangina mo ka DEAR HAHAHAHAAHAHA sana nga tinapon na lang burat ng tatay mo

Well somebody's reaaally pissed LMAO. Did I guess correctly that ashesandpaij is actually just a Laura alter? 😋 What about the pet donation scams dear? Pano yan wala nang naniniwala sa'yo :(

[foldingfittedsheets]

Mattresses, unbeknownst to many, are a lot like cars. Every year new ones roll out, they’re always tweaking and innovating and you’ll never find the same one you loved decades ago when buying a new one.

Where I sold mattresses had a three month return or exchange program for this reason. New beds take a while to break in, and they’re a big expense. Your body is used to the old one. So we made sure people were loving it. If a bed got returned we’d take it back, sanitize and clean it, then sell it again on clearance.

To sell these we always had to disclose what clearance meant to customers, and they had to sign that they knew what they were getting. (FYI, not every company is as… forthright about the used bed situation)

In clearance we had beds that were floor models, we had returns, and more rarely we had old models whose line had been discontinued. These clearance beds were always final sale, so a bed could only be sold twice.

Now, the manager at the store I was working at had realized a vital fact. Clearance beds in the warehouse didn’t sell, especially old models that salespeople weren’t familiar with. And even more especially in odd sizes, like twin extra longs. So he set up a split king on the showroom floor to exhibit clearance beds, pulling all those forgotten twin extra longs out onto the showroom.

Almost all of these were brand new discontinued models. Beds I’d never learned in training were exhumed to be displayed. The manufacturers had moved on to new lines and they’d been left behind. Why would he take such in interest in selling old stock, you might wonder? Because we made double commission on the sales margin of clearance beds, and if we’d had a bed long enough they dropped the cost in the system so it was a fucking cash cow to sell these. Even with huge discounts the commissions were wonderful so it was a win win.

When I got started I was jazzed about this program, I was so on board to sell weird old brand new beds and make a ton of money. I had a wonderful older couple come in, looking for a split king adjustable set. This was a white whale sale.

The current clearance models on the floor were a latex mattress that was brand new despite being of an age to start first grade, and a tempurpedic floor model. The couple laid down and it was like magic. They each loved the bed they’d laid down on. They wanted to buy the whole shebang.

I. Was. Thrilled. I told them about the clearance program and what that meant, and they weren’t bothered in the least. I wrote up the sale then dashed into the back, fizzing with excitement to tell my manager what I’d done.

“You sold the death bed?!” He asked in delight.

I pulled up short, my smile freezing in place. “What…?”

“Didn’t you check the notes?”

I hesitated for a long beat then slowly shook my head. You see, dear reader, all beds had a personal history. Every clearance bed had logs written up by the person who took the return, as well as warehouse crew after sanitizing. It helped us know what to expect when selling them. “Wasn’t it just a floor model? You said it was a floor model…”

He slowly shook his head. I checked the notes.

It turned out, it had been sold as a floor model. The first time. But the company had made an exception and taken it back as a return two months later. Why? Because it’s owner had passed away.

I stared at the computer in horror and my manager shrugged. “They signed the clearance form. Technically it was a floor model.”

“We know for a fact that a man died in that bed!”

“What they don’t know can’t haunt them,” he said philosophically.

The man came back a week later for more sheets, utterly delighted to tell me how well they were sleeping. I clamped my teeth down around the secret of the deathbed, choosing to let them love their new bed without the stigma. Only one person would be haunted by that deathbed, and it was me.

[accb1]

Isf Customs Filing - ACCB Customs Broker

How long does the ISF filing process take?

The ISF filing process typically requires importers to submit the necessary information to the U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) at least 24 hours before the cargo is loaded onto a ship bound for the United States or a foreign trade zone.

It is important to note that the responsibility for filing the ISF lies with the importer, but they can also rely on customs brokers or authorized agents to handle the filing process on their behalf.

The time it takes to complete the ISF filing process can vary depending on factors such as the availability of the required information and the efficiency of the filing method used. According to one source, it usually takes 48 to 72 hours to gather all the necessary information and compile it correctly for the ISF.

However, it is advisable to request the relevant information from manufacturers and other partners at least a week before the goods are shipped to allow sufficient time for the filing process.

It is worth mentioning that importers have the option to amend their ISF at any point between filing and when the cargo arrives at a U.S. port. This allows for any necessary changes or updates to be made without the need to delete and refile the form.

In summary, the ISF filing process typically requires importers to submit the necessary information to the CBP at least 24 hours before the cargo is loaded onto a ship bound for the United States or a foreign trade zone. The time it takes to complete the filing process can vary, but it is advisable to request the relevant information at least a week before the goods are shipped to allow sufficient time for gathering and compiling the required information

[thellawtoknow]

Customs Clearance in the US

Topic: Understanding Customs Clearance in the US: A Comprehensive GuideKey Steps in the Customs Clearance ProcessDocumentation Submission: Customs Declaration: Duty Assessment: Inspection and Examination: Release or Hold: Common Challenges in Customs ClearanceTips for Smooth Customs Clearance Topic: Understanding Customs Clearance in the US: A Comprehensive Guide When it comes to importing…

[lastoneout]

It really is kinda awful how many job listings will just straight up lie to you about what you "need" to be able to do to screen out disabled applicants. Like fucking Safeway will be looking for a cashier and the listing is like "you ABSOLUTELY MUST be able to stand for 8+ hours a day, NO exceptions" as if you can't do everything required to run the check out line sitting down. Old Navy is like "you must be able to understand body language and facial expressions and make eye contact" like sorry dude I think autistic people can sell t-shirts just fine without doing all that, like honestly what the hell does understanding facial expressions have to do with telling someone where the clearance section is. Don't really think the customers at TJ Max are going to go full Purge mode if one employee can only perform a task requiring fine motor skills 15 times a minute instead of 30, like idk maybe you don't need the lines to move thst fast actually. Maybe everyone can chill out and wait a second. I think the people at Starbucks will be okay if the barista isn't great at multitasking and can't make small talk with every single customer while also running the drive through and making 15 different drinks.

It's such horseshit, none of these job require these things but they can just lie and say they do and disabled people will clear out because we know it's just a big neon sign saying "crippled freaks need not apply", even if that sentence is followed by some fake ass fluff about you being an equal opportunity employer. Like you would not be insisting your underpaid cashiers be able to "make eye contact and understand body language" if you cared about not discriminating against disabled people, that wording specifically is straight out of the DSM-5, what you're doing is fucking obvious and pure goddam evil.

The best part too is then you get denied for SSI benefits because you "can" work, they don't actually care that every single job listing is tailor made to tell us to fuck right off. The potential to be able to work and actually being able to be hired are too different things entirely but sure. I can work. If I find an employer that doesn't care that I'm in a wheelchair and can't make eye contact or life heavy objects or that I need to only work 4 hours a day so I still have the energy to take care of myself outside of work and also have to take 10 days a month off for doctor's appointments and unpredictable health flares. And also crucially does NOT require a fucking degree or drivers license. Find me a job like that that and I'd be overjoyed to work.

But trust me, jobs that can accommodate me simply do not fucking exist, and unfortunately for all of us that is very much by design.

[fullmetalfisting]

My dog is friends with a merchandiser at TJMaxx.

We used to go to dog-friendly stores because our trainer recommended that we get him comfortable in a busy environment. We wound up going to TJMaxx twice a week or more, where he befriended a young (often very stoned) woman. That was two years ago.

Now we go to TJMaxx often and wander the aisles and I only know when this woman is close because his tail starts wagging and he starts screaming.

It’s to the point where she doesn’t treat me like a customer, she treats me like a coworker. Yesterday she was like, “thank god Christmas is over. We can finally put all this worthless shit in the clearance aisle.” Then she looked lovingly at my dog and said, “cant we, atlas?”

[lostintransist]

Seamstress | Part 4

Part 1 here. AO3

John lets the men simmer for two days. Mostly he lets their trip to his seamstress ride to see if they brought it up to him. They didn’t. Guess he would be playing this the sly way.

“Found an old quilt from my grandmother when cleaning out my mum’s house last leave.”

Johnny’s brain sparked on the word association just as John hoped it would.

“Found out I can get my family kilts fixed up and preserved. Met a pretty lass who runs a shop that said it was a possibility.”

“Oh?” John folded his arms across his chest, encouraging Johnny to go on by tilting his head in interest.

“Yeah, pretty bird, kicked us out when we started asking about-”

He cut himself off pretty quick but John gave him a small scary smile.

“Asking about who, Johnny?”

Johnny started to back up, hands raised as he babbled his excuses.

“Finish your excuses and go get the guys.”

Johnny turned tail and fled from the room. His muppets filed in the room, Johnny getting forced by the neck by Simon who glared down at him. Must have wanted to keep this a secret. Should have known better than to tell Johnny. The man couldn’t keep a non-life-threatening secret to save anyone’s life. Kyle and Gary slid in after the duo.

“Muppets. You will leave my seamstress well enough alone or I will make it a problem for you.”

“So she is yours?” Gary piped up from the side.

Shooting him a glare John continued.

“I am grown enough to not explain myself to the lot of you, but if I get a call again about any of you bothering her I will make it everyone’s problem.”

Kyle smirked and spoke out one side of his mouth.

“Seems like Price can’t get a date.”

“Kyle I swear to my god and yours I will make you disappear if you keep it up. If your clothes go missing, just know they will be back. Now get out of here the lot of you.”

His men shared smiles and eye contact.

They hustled from the room when he picked up his blackened coffee mug to throw at one of them.

“Fucking muppets going to send me to an early grave. I don’t even have her phone number yet,” he mumbled to himself as the back of them disappeared.

🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡

You think about John far more often than you should. He is a customer. Yes, he sleeps in your chairs and smiles at you in a way that pulls his cheeks to the moon, and yes he makes your heart flutter the tiniest bit but, but he is a customer who has never shown interest and you refuse to make someone feel uncomfortable in your shop. Your shop was a safe space, for everyone. Your flags are on clear display, so many, many flags, made sure of it.

He stepped through your thoughts carelessly. When you were wandering a superstore you somehow ended up in the camping section. A clearance foldable cot caught your eye and left the store with you. You maneuvered it into your tiny car and into the shop without allowing yourself to question why you had bought it.

John appeared two mornings following your purchase. You smile, wider than you should, at him.

“Hi John, welcome back! Got anything new and interesting for me today?”

Did you sound too chipper?

“Nothing crazy, one of my men needs a mask fixed.”

“Do you always bring in their items? I hope they are paying you at least,” you joke as you take the offered mask.

Spreading it on the counter you look it over, a tear over one ear and one from the eye portion. Both are decently easy fixes but would require your ring light and some time with a hand needle.

Looking up you offer John another smile. Fuck, can you keep the smiles to a minimum? He is going to think you are weird and then stop coming by.

“This shouldn’t take terribly long, I would say maybe an hour?”

John knocked one knuckle against the counter as he nodded. With both hands on the armrests, you remembered the cot in the back.

“Oh, John!”

He paused, ass halfway lowered into the seat.

“I..uh..” you stammer to a stop, unsure of how your words might be received.

“Yes?” He lifts a single brow at you, body not shaking as he waits.

Tucking one arm to your chest and the other to your mouth you speak from behind it.

“I found a cot. I brought it to the shop for you to use if you wanted?”

The words rush out of you, mumbled by your hand, and the speed by which you hurl them.

John stands, moving to stand next to the counter where the floor changes, noting the difference in customer space vs working space.

“What was that dove?”

Tightening your lips before biting the inside of your cheek you force yourself to say your words again. Slower, clearer you speak.

“I have a cot for you. In the back, so that you can sleep.”

His face goes blank as he blinks at you.

He looked a bit like a 404 code in the flesh.

A small smile breaks across his face as color spreads up his cheeks.

“For me?”

“Well,” you tighten both arms around your middle as you reply. “No one else seems to pay me for the privilege of sleeping in my shop, so yes?”

John rubs the back of his neck with one hand.

You awkwardly stare at him. What do you even say now? Do you invite him to lie down? No that sounded weird.

“Do you-”

“Why don-”

You both started and stopped at hearing the other’s voice.

Spinning on your heel you turned towards the storage room, confident John would follow. Popping the door open you can do nothing more than point to the cot, still covered in tape from the store.

John slides by you, chest brushing your arm and shoulder as he does. If you have to fight back the urge to take a bite? Well, he would never need to know.

“I can set it up for you if you don’t mind?” John looks back over his shoulder at you.

Knowing you are beet red you can only nod.

“I bought it for you but didn’t get a chance to,” you gesture at it as if your vague motion will explain all your thoughts.

John’s smile, eyes crinkling and shoulders softening, melted your heart.

“I’ll take care of it and then take a good nap. My men have started to comment that I am nicer to them after I get a nap here.” He knelt, pulling out a pocket knife and slicing open the package.

“Your men?” You lean against the door frame, unabashedly watching. “What is it you do for work John?”

“Special forces, I’m a captain. I lead a group of myself and four other men.”

“Well, that would explain a lot of the smells.”

He looks up at you, brow cocked.

“Smells?”

“Like fire, gunpowder, sweat, sometimes fear.”

“You get a lot of smell knowledge here?”

“I get a lot of everything here,” you shrug, unable to articulate how no matter how clean a piece of cloth some lingering smells clung.

John turns back to his task. You spend far, far too long watching him. The way his shoulders dip and arms change shape as he uses them. When the cot is built and John stands he turns and catches sight of you, you give a panicked smile and flee for the counter where you had left the mask.

Slamming your body into your chair you turned on your ring light, pulled your black thread, and focused diligently on fixing the holes you had been asked to address. John did not reappear for nearly an hour. You had finished the mask sooner than that but had not yet found the fortitude to go and wake him.

The creases on his face matched the lines on the shoulder of his shirt, and the slight drool stain.

“Right on time?”

You smile and nod.

“Well let’s settle up and I will find a reason to be back in a few days.” John returns to the customer side of the counter, sure of himself and you.

“You don’t have to pay me to come nap if that is all you need,” you start.

He cuts you off with a wave of his hand.

“My men are hard on clothes. If I can get you some business I feel less bad about using you for some shut-eye.”

Supposing you had to accept that answer you unlock your tablet and complete the transaction.

Once his card clears you pass over the mask.

“You’re jewelry box should be done by Christmas.”

He drops the statement as if he forgot to bring it up until now.

“Christmas should be fine, I don’t have many plans though I will be out of town the week of Christmas proper. I will be visiting my grandmother.” Paternal grandmother since your mother was not allowed to visit, but no need to mention that.

“We will have to find some time to ensure I can get you the gift then,” he smiled as he said it.

“I told you I would pay for it John,” you chide.

With a shrug, he tucked the mask into his pocket and stepped back from the counter.

“Can’t pay me for a Christmas present dove.”

With that, he waved and pushed through the front door.

“The hell I can’t,” you spoke to the empty shop.

Part 3 | Part 5

Masterlist

[doralcustomsbrokers]

Navigating U.S. Import Regulations with a Miami Customs Broker

Importing goods into the United States involves navigating a complex web of regulations, documentation, and compliance requirements. Whether you’re a seasoned importer or new to international trade, partnering with a knowledgeable customs broker in Miami can significantly ease the process and ensure your shipments clear customs without a hitch.

Customs Clearance Services

One of the primary roles of a customs broker is to facilitate customs clearance. This involves preparing and submitting the necessary documents to U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) and ensuring that your shipment complies with all applicable laws and regulations. A Miami-based customs broker, with expertise in the region’s trade dynamics, can expedite this process, helping your goods move swiftly from port to market.

U.S. Customs Clearance

Navigating U.S. customs clearance can be daunting, especially with the ever-evolving regulations. A customs broker in Miami stays updated on the latest changes in import laws, ensuring your shipment is compliant. They handle everything from tariff classifications and duty calculations to ensuring all required permits and licenses are in place.

Handling Import Shipments

Efficient handling of import shipments is crucial to minimize delays and avoid additional costs. A customs broker manages the logistics of your shipment from the moment it arrives at the port, coordinating with carriers, warehouses, and other stakeholders to ensure a smooth and timely release of your goods.

Consultation on Import Regulations

Understanding import regulations is essential for compliance and cost management. A Miami customs broker provides consultation services to help you navigate the complexities of U.S. import regulations. This includes advising on tariff classifications, duty rates, and other compliance requirements specific to your goods.

FDA Compliance Consulting

If you’re importing goods regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), such as food products, cosmetics, or pharmaceuticals, FDA compliance is critical. A customs broker with expertise in FDA regulations can help ensure that your products meet all necessary standards, avoiding costly delays or rejections at the border.

Importer Security Filing (ISF) and Customs Bond Services

Importer Security Filing (ISF), also known as “10+2,” is a mandatory filing requirement for ocean shipments to the U.S. A customs broker can handle this filing on your behalf, ensuring that it is done correctly and on time. Additionally, they can assist with obtaining the necessary customs bonds, which are required for most import transactions to guarantee the payment of duties and taxes.

Managing In-Bond Shipments

In-bond shipments, which are goods that are transported through the U.S. without being subject to customs duties, require careful management to ensure compliance. A Miami customs broker can manage the in-bond process, ensuring your goods move efficiently to their final destination.

https://www.doralcustomsbrokers.com/customs-clearance-consulting/

[yearsbecomingcool]

good boy | daniel markowitz 18+

donate to gaza here | masterlist | part 2

pairing | daniel markowitz x f!reader

synopsis | your best friend is there for you after a shitty day at work.

warnings | f!reader, me ranting about working retail, drug use, sexual context, premature ejaculation, hair pulling, subby!danny, and grinding.

word count | 3k

a/n | the lack of fics for daniel is insane to me so naturally i had to fix that. thelma is amazing and you all need to watch it, super fun and cute!! i'm so thankful the screenplay for thelma is up online because i used it as a guide for daniel while writing. there will be a part 2 to this i swear. next fic is going to be for caracalla and I'm very excited for it. if y'all have requests for any of fred's other characters please feel free to send them in :)

There’s nothing you hate more than a customer who comes in at the last minute. You were at your retail job, clearing the last of the hangers out of the fitting room when you heard the front door open. You glance over at your coworker, giving her an annoyed look. You drop your voice low, with an empty store and the music turned off it won’t take much for your voice to travel. “Who comes into this place right before closing, who needs jeans at 9:51pm?” You groan.

“Let’s just hope they’ll be quick.” She returns to sweeping up the fitting room. About five minutes later the customer, a middle aged woman with a haircut that screams ‘I will call your manager over nothing’, walks into the fitting room holding a pile of jeans. You decide to grit your teeth and open up a room for her before wandering off to the back to find your manager. You put in the door code and head into the back, pounding on the office door where your manager is counting the registers already. If this woman tries to pay in cash you all are fucked. You hear your manager putting up the money and she opens the door just a crack. “We just had someone come in to try on like ten pairs of jeans, should I tell her that we close soon, or?”

Your manager sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance. “I’ll handle it in a minute, just let her try it on for now and put someone at the front to make sure no one else comes in.” You nod in response and head back out to the floor, sending someone up to the front before you slip into one of the fitting rooms. You open your texts, a small blue dot next to your conversation with Danny. Sometimes you envied him being unemployed, right now is one of those times. You open up the conversation, smiling down at his message. He had finally watched the horror movie you’d suggested ages ago and was telling you how much he loved it. You type up a quick response as you hear the other fitting room door open, you slip your phone into your pocket and slip back out.

“Do you carry anything not…ugly?” She asks, motioning down to the pair of atrocious jeggings she’s tried on. You internally cringe at the printed on pockets and crease lines. 

You put on your best customer service voice and nod, “Yes ma’am. Do you know what you’re looking for?” 

She gives you a look that makes you want to quit on the spot, “If I knew what I was looking for do you think I’d be trying on so much shit?” 

You manage to stay calm, giving her a strained smile. “Well if there’s anything I can help you look for just let me know.” The woman shuts the door in your face and you sigh, slipping back into the fitting room you were just in. You pull your conversation with Danny back up and type out a text to him.

please tell me you’re free tonight, work is making me lose my mind 

You slip your phone back into your pocket and try to keep yourself busy. It’s ten minutes past close now and you’re getting more annoyed as every second passes. As you’re fixing the clearance section for the hundredth time your phone buzzes, a new text from Danny. 

i am

what time are you off? 

You smile and type back a response

i was supposed to be off at 10:30 but some karen came in and is trying off half the store

so when i know i’ll let you know

i need canes so bad tonight 

His response comes quickly. 

canes sounds so good 

do you want me to pick you up or?

You bite down on your lower lip, trying to decide. 

yeah

do you wanna stay over tonight?

a movie night and canes maybe?

Your phone buzzes again with his response.

sounds perfect

mom is driving me up the wall again

You send a thumbs up react and head back to the fitting room to see if that customer is gone yet. You sigh in relief when you see the door is open and then immediately want to bash your head into the wall when you see she left every single item she tried on in the room and on the floor. You can hear your coworker locking the doors and feel relieved that she’s at least gone now. You snap a quick picture of the mess and send it to Daniel.

i love my job.

He’s quick to reply, the message coming seconds after yours. 

canes will fix it

promise

You smile down at the message and quickly type out your response.

if it doesn’t i bought more edibles last week

You ignore his next messages to fix and put back the items she had left in the fitting room. You hold down the button on your walkie, “Are we still getting out of here at 10:30? I fixed all the stuff she left.” As soon as she replies you send Danny a quick text to let him know to be here at 10:30. You pray the next 15 minutes will go by quickly as you find things to busy yourself with until finally you can grab your things and leave. As you all walk up to the doors to leave you smile at the sight of his car in the parking lot, parked right next to yours. 

As soon as you’re out you’re quick to run to his car, knocking on the passenger window, scaring the shit out of him in the process. You throw your head back and laugh at the sight of him dropping his phone and screaming. He unlocks the door and bends down to scoop his phone up off the floor. You’re still laughing when you get in. “Holy shit, I forget how easily scared you are.” You drop your bag to the floor next to a crumpled Wendy’s bag and buckle up, leaning back comfortably in his seat. 

“You’re such a dick,” he mutters, still recovering from how you scared him. 

“You looooove me,” you tease, reaching over to ruffle his already messy hair.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you need to sleep at night,” he jokes, buckling up and turning the car back on. 

You sit in silence for a minute as he drives out of the parking lot. “Thank you for coming to hang out, work has been such a goddamn nightmare lately…I’ve missed you.” You say softly as you play with the rips in your jeans. 

He smiles, his cheeks turning pink, “I’ve missed you too…I started taking those classes at the community college last month. I’m not taking a lot but they’ve kept me a little busy.”

“I’m glad you’re doing them, I thought you were gonna lose it having to be stuck around your parents constantly,” you chuckle. As sweet as his parents are they can be a nightmare to be around at times, you think they’re why he’s so anxious but you’d never say that out loud.

“They’ve been driving me insane today, I keep telling them it’s so hard to get anywhere to call back but they think it’s bullshit. They haven’t had to apply for a job in like 30 years, they think you can still walk in and get an application,” he rants. 

“Oh my god…there’s no fucking way. Every time someone comes in to get an application we have to tell them to apply online, I feel like an asshole every time I have to tell them. Y’know you should come work with me, it sucks but it’s something at least. We’re hiring.” 

He smiles, “Maybe I will, then I can get paid to annoy you.”

You groan playfully, “Y’know what they actually just filled every position so-”

“Oh fuck off!” He laughs, pulling into the packed Canes drive through. 

“Do you know what you want, or?” 

You cut him off, “You have my order memorized by now.”

He holds his hands up defensively, “Hey! For all I know you could’ve picked tonight to branch out.” 

You roll your eyes, “When have I ever branched out with food a day in my life?”

“Fair point…” 

As you sit waiting for the line to move you glance over at Danny, you grab his wrist, examining the rip on his cardigan. “Dude, you need to throw this out, or like go get it fixed.” 

“If you think that little rip is bad just look at this.” He leans forward to show you an even worse rip towards the back of the dark blue cardigan.

“Jesus did something take a bite out of it? You know we sell one that looks a lot like that, I could always get you a new one.” You offer. 

“I like this one, it’s soft. Just let me wear it until it falls apart.”

You sigh, “I think it’s about halfway there, bud.” 

Silence falls over the car again, you scramble for something to fill it. You regret the first words out of your mouth. “So, how are things with Allie?” 

His face sours, he looks down at his lap trying to come up with an answer. “She’s got a new boyfriend…seems like he’s got his shit together, so y’know, that’s uh…good.”

“Shit, dude…” You place your hand on his shoulder, “She’s missing out. You don’t have it all together yet, and that’s fine, but you still have a lot to offer.”

He sighs, shaking his head. “You sound like my grandma,” he sounds amused.

“I still can’t believe she pulled a fucking heist to get her money back…what a legend.”

He laughs, scratching the back of his neck, “I don’t know how she pulled it off still, she’s incredible. God…I was so stressed that whole day.”

“Yeah, I know, you were practically blowing up my phone. But hey, I’d do the same if my grandma pulled something like that.”

He turns to you smiling, “Well if she ever does you have an expert to help you handle it,” he gestures to himself cockily.

“I’m sure you’ll be great at helping me freak out.”

He smacks your thigh playfully, “Hey, be nice if you want me to pay.”

“Right, right, can’t upset my sugar daddy…”

“Fuck off,” he cackles, rolling his eyes.

Once you get your food he starts heading back to your place, you feed him his fries while he drives, the radio playing softly in the background. “It’s a good thing we both got extra sauce, I don’t know why they don’t just sell bottles of this shit already,” you say as you dip another fry into the sauce for him. 

“If they did, I think we’d be enough to keep them in business,” he laughs.

Back at your place Danny makes himself comfortable on your plush couch, it was one your grandma had been nice enough to donate once you got your own apartment, a one bedroom just big enough for you and your cat. You retreat to your room to grab your edibles, a small baggie with candy that looks similar to Airhead Xtremes. You toss the bag into his lap as you plop down next to him, grabbing your Canes box off the coffee table. “Don’t take a lot, you know I’ve never been one to go for a low dose,” you caution. 

“Thanks for the warning, the last time I took some with you I woke up high.”

You laugh at the memory, “You were such a mess that night, I felt so bad.”

He pats your shoulder reassuringly, “It’s fine, I lived, didn’t I?”

“Unless I’m hallucinating you right now, then yeah, you did.” 

He takes his turn feeding you your fries as you scroll through your streaming services to find something to watch. You turn to him, “Are you gonna kill me if I put on Spree again?”

“I might,” he deadpans. 

You click on it anyway, starting the movie and taking a small bite off your edible, Danny doing the same. You lean your head on his shoulder, cuddling up to him like always. He glances down at you with a smile, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to pull you in closer.

“I’ve missed this…I hate being busy.”

You smile up at him, “I wish I was rich, then I’d have all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted. I’d spend all my days watching movies, annoying the shit out of you. Sounds like a better life to me.”

“Then you could be my sugar daddy.”

You roll your eyes, “I practically am your sugar daddy, I barely let you pay for anything.”

“You shouldn’t do that y’know,” he says softly. “I still live with my parents, I can afford to pay for your stuff. You’re like…an adult, you’ve got bills to pay.” 

“You’ll be in the same boat soon, Danny. Maybe I’ll need a roommate.”

“In a one bedroom?” He asks incredulously. 

“Yeah, you can sleep on the floor. I’m a generous host,” you joke. 

He cocks an eyebrow at you. “You let me sleep in your bed with you every time I stay over but I’ll have to sleep on the floor when I move in?”

“Fine, you can sleep at the end of my bed. Is that better?”

His brows furrow, “Like a dog?”

“Mhm, you can bark, right?”

His cheeks go pink and he stumbles over his words, unable to string together a comprehensible sentence. Eventually just nodding shyly.

You love to see him flustered. You reach out and pet his hair like a dog, “Good boy.” 

You bite your lip at how red he gets. You wonder if Allie ever messed with him like this.

They dated for a year and yet you feel like you barely know anything about what happened between them. You glance down at his lips. You kissed once, it was junior year. He’d come over after school, muttering a lie to his mom about needing to work on a project. Instead you had managed to get your hands on some bud, fluttering eyelashes and a twenty was all you needed to pay with. Your parents were working late, again, so it made it easy to get away with. He laughed at you, watching you pull up a tutorial on Youtube for how to roll a joint. Laughing even harder when you rolled quite possibly the worst joint in all of history. You smoked together, watching the Jackass series, laughing too hard at every bit. At some point you ended up in his lap, he pulled you into his chest, resting his head on your shoulder. You tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling playfully at the blonde strands. Your eyes went wide when he whimpered. You pulled his head back, his eyes squeezing shut in pain and…something else. You watch how he bites down on his lower lip to keep quiet, you’ve always thought his teeth were cute, as weird as it sounds. “Danny?” You say his name softly.

He opens his eyes, “Mhm?” 

“Can I kiss you?” 

He blushes, “I-I’ve never…” He looks away, embarrassed. 

“It’s easy, can I show you?” You ask softly, trying to make sure he’s comfortable.

“Please…” It comes out more pathetic than he intends. 

You pulled him in, kissing him softly, helping him figure out his pace. You want to take it further, but before you can his phone goes off. His embarrassing ringtone blaring, making him jump back, startled. You pull away from him and slide off his lap so he can answer it.

After that you two never spoke of the incident again, but you thought about it constantly. He had a few girlfriends here and there over the years but never any as serious as Allie. You hated her at first, a weird misogynistic jealousy bubbling up. But you got over it, sort of. You were kind to her, you liked her, but the jealousy still lived in you quietly. It gnawed at you every time you saw them put their hands on one another but you kept it to yourself. You wanted Danny to be happy even if it made you feel sick.

Danny wants to lean in, he wants to kiss you, but he’s nervous. He couldn’t be casual, it wasn’t in his nature. He hadn’t been with anyone since Allie, much less kissed anyone. He felt pathetic, a normal guy his age would kiss you easily. They’d lean in, maybe push your hair behind your ear. But he couldn’t, his hands trembled at the mere thought of it. 

“You look nice tonight,” he says softly, still staring at your lips. He means it, he thinks it’s cute how your mascara has smudged slightly under your eye from a long day at work. 

“You’re sweet…so do you,” you giggle. You reach up and caress his face softly.

“Me? I-I’m a mess, I stayed in bed all day doing school work.”

“Let me compliment you. You’re pretty. I love your eyes and your hair, you even have cute teeth…if you ever get veneers I’ll stop talking to you.”

He laughs, cheeks permanently pink at this point. “It’s sweet you think I can afford veneers.” 

“Can I kiss you?” You blurt out as if you’re back in high school perched on his lap. 

His eyes go wide, he runs his tongue over his bottom lip and pulls you into his lap, your thighs falling onto either side of him. You kiss him softly at first, almost like your kiss from high school, this time less sloppy. Your hand finds his way into his hair, the other gripping the back of the couch. You pull at his hair and deepen the kiss, your hips instinctively roll against his, he whines against your lips. His sweet pathetic sounds are like music to your ears. His hands are on your waist, pulling you down on hip by your belt loops. You roll your hips again and that’s all it takes. He whines loudly, his head knocking against yours. He grips your hips tight, his eyes squeezing shut, hips bucking up as he comes. You caress his face as he comes down from it, you can feel his cheeks heating up. 

“Danny did you just…”

He whines with embarrassment, “Don’t laugh…please.”

[water-loos]

Chocolate

“We’re dressed in black from head to toe, we’ve got guns hidden under our petticoats”

dealer!eddie x witchy!ditsy!fem!reader

cw: drug mention, drug use mention, tooth rotting fluff

wc: 1,504

“Babe, just because they’re purple and you like the color does not mean that the Blazy’s are better,” Eddie groaned for the umpteenth time, looking at the older man behind the smoke shop counter for a lifeline.

“They’re the same price as the RAW cones! You’re the one who said we should expand the market and try and get some new customers. I’m telling you, all of my friends would start buying from you if they were getting a purple preroll. Even better if it’s a purple preroll of the special dreaming blend that I came up with,” You smiled brightly, long, dark nails tapping excitedly on the glass countertop. “It’s a great marketing tactic.”

“Sweetheart—“

“She’s got a point, Eddie. The ladies love it when their shit is all pretty,” The shop owner snorted.

“Thank you, Dennis!” You motioned toward the man, rings clacking on the counter as your hand came to rest on top. “A little sexist, but correct. Please, Eddie?”

When Eddie looked back at you, you could see his eyes melt. “Fine. Give me two shorts, two regulars, and two kings.”

“One pink, one purple?”

“Yes please!” You reached up to kiss your boyfriend right on the apple of his cheek, leaving behind a black cherry-colored lipstick mark. “I promise it’ll be worth it. I’ll pinky swear on it.”

“You get your cones and your blend, that’s it,” His arm snaked around your waist, pulling you closer as he looked down at you pointedly. “That’s it. I’m not having you take over my business, alright?”

“Mhm. That’s it. Just those,” You confirmed, nodding your head. “Can you ring up a few of those fun little incense cones in a separate order, Dennis? I’m running out and I need some for my altar.”

“Will do, sweetie. Just don’t give your man any more trouble, alright?”

“On my life, I will not give him any more trouble.”

——

You swore up and down that you would stop at the cones and the special blend of weed and other herbs.

But then you found a pack of navy blue mesh bags covered in tiny stars that could comfortably fit half an ounce at the craft store. In the clearance aisle. For $2.99.

“Baby, you have got to be kidding me,” Eddie sighed, watching you come in the door, platform boots stomping excitedly as you bounded into the living room of your shared trailer, the bags clutched in your hands. “Don’t tell me those are what I think they are.”

“They are that exactly! Aren’t they cute? Look,” You swung yourself into his lap, legs hanging over the arm of the rocker he had been lounging in. His arm instinctively wrapped around you and rested on your hip, making sure you wouldn’t fall off. “They can fit at least half an ounce and still have room. Not to mention the amount of prerolls you can fit! And they tie super nicely so you can keep everything together!”

His head buried into the crook of your neck, his dramatic groaning rumbling against your skin. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Is that a yes? Please tell me that’s a yes,” You immediately get excited, dropping the bags into your lap and looping your arms around his drooping shoulders. “Have I told you I love you this afternoon? If not, I love you. I love you more than the sky and the sea and the moon and the stars—“

“Yes, angel, you’ve told me you love me more than I can count today,” He laughed sweetly, lifting his head to look at your expression. You could tell he was trying so hard to stand his ground, but the smile on his lips gave him away. “I can’t let you use the bags, though. It’ll ruin my reputation.”

“What, your reputation among college kids who invite you to every function even though you graduated two years early?” You joke, nodding toward his high school and college diplomas, which were framed above your fireplace. “What a thing to ruin!”

“Are you really going to bring up me graduating every chance you get?”

“Absolutely,” You kissed him sweetly, one hand smoothing over his hair. “My smart boy.”

“Okay, now you’re just buttering me up, you sap,” He ducked away, watching you cackle with a grin on his face. “How about we compromise?”

“A compromise?”

“Yes. You can make your fancy little prerolls with your mix and put them in your pretty little bags,” Your eyes widened, surprised that he was letting you do it that easily. “But, nothing else. No edibles, no flower, and none of the raw cones I’m still working through, okay?”

“I can work with that! It’s like a little side business! A partnership!”

“Yep. A partnership,” He tapped your hip and sat up slightly. “Let’s go get some stuff ready for later, alright? I’ve got to drop off to those monthly guys up in Chicago tonight.”

“Let me text some people and see if they want anything,” You got up off his lap, handing the bags off to him as he rose. “Can you put these at my seat while I go grab us some drinks?”

Eddie sighed heavily, rolling his eyes playfully. “Yes, sweetheart.”

“I love you, just a reminder!” You called as you left the room, a shit-eating grin on your face.

——

You ended up finding a few friends from college who lived in the city and wanted to try the new “dream bundles” as you called them. Each bundle was packaged with care and love, and Eddie watched endearingly as you meticulously packed each and every cone, lined them up in the bags, and even included some candies from your personal stash. The bags looked almost comical next to the brown bags that your boyfriend’s regular orders were in, but as you piled into his van, both his and your bags piled into one of your many tote bags, they looked perfect together.

He held your hand the whole two-hour drive into the city, a mixture of alternative rock and metal blaring through the speakers as you both sang along at the top of your lungs, a smile permanently etched into your lips. Eddie even let you be the one to run the bags up to each of his clients, watching with a lovesick smile and your favorite puppy dog eyes as each and every one of them smiled, happy to see you and your bubbly personality.

You practically skipped away from the final house of the night, grinning from ear to ear. You had sweet-talked the customer, a 6’3 and honestly terrifying security guard, into buying a couple of your special bundles for his girlfriend, who had waved at you from behind the open door.

With your empty tote bag swinging from your hand and your front pockets full of cash, you pranced up to Eddie, who leaned against the side of his van with a grin that could stop hearts on his face. Except, he was looking at you, who was the picture of joy.

“D’you see? I got him to buy three bundles! I told you they’d be a big seller,” You smiled brightly, chains jingling as you rocked back and forth on your heels. “He got them for his new girlfriend and he said he’d let you know how she likes them.”

“That’s great sweetheart,” He reached forward to pull you close and kiss your cheek. He watched you pull the big bills of cash out of your pocket, folded perfectly and all in the same direction and put it into his pocket instead. “We make a good team.”

“The best! You’ve gotta let me keep doing this, babe,” You pull your tote bag over your shoulder and loop your hands around his neck, stepping on the tiptoes of your boots. “They love me. And it’s so fun!”

Eddie chuckles and shakes his head. “What kind of influence am I, huh? Getting you to enjoy this whole thing?”

“The worst ever,” You hum, smiling at his almost drunk expression as he looked at you. “I think my parents would have a conniption if they knew what I was out doing right now.”

“Oh, what will I ever do if your parents find out that I’ve corrupted their precious angel?” He laid the sarcasm on thick, reveling at the giggle you let out as he smushed a kiss to the soft skin of your cheek. He pulled back after, pecked a quick kiss to your lips, and tapped your hip with the hand that held his car keys. “C’mon. Let’s get home and pack a bowl with some of that mix you’ve been selling. I wanna see what it’s all about.”

“Really?”

He stepped back and opened the passenger side door for you. “Really really.”

“Yes!” You celebrated, grabbing his face and smacking a kiss to his lips before you leaned down into your seat. “God, I love you.”

“I love you too, angel.”

[fuck-customers]

I am unbelievably furious. This is extremely unprofessional and immature and I will be making an (anonymous) complaint to HR as soon as I'm done venting here.

I was closing yesterday and I found a pack of leftover pride earrings on clearance. This was the last pack, so I intended to buy it yesterday, but unfortunately my lead had already closed the registers when I found it. So I left them in the hold area with my name and a note explaining that I intended to buy them tomorrow (today).

Then I come in for my shift today and they're absolutely nowhere to be found. I check the entire hold and register areas, as well as the aisle they were originally on. I fully believe the ASM hid them because she clearly has something against me and she is always hostile to me. Since I closed, I and the closing manager were the last ones in the building last night and my shift today is in the middle of the opening manager's shift. And guess who was the opening manager today? I don't believe it was a non-management employee at all, they have not shown any hostility to me in the slightest. Meanwhile, I've gotten nothing but hostility from this manager.

This is the proverbial last straw. I've been holding off on reporting her to HR, because I didn't want to use my information and risk her finding out who reported her. Even though retaliation is illegal, I am 100% confident she will find ways to do it just subtly enough that I won't be able to prove or report it.

Luckily, I have a burner email and a list of grievances against her that include things she's done to employees that are not me. She is extremely hostile to all employees and on occasion, customers, so it would not be obvious that I am the one writing the complaint.

Get fucked, bitch.

Posted by admin Rodney

[miryum]

"The Cruise"

Summary: Detective!Jason Todd x detective!Reader based on Jake and Amy’s relationship

Series Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence (but nothing descriptive), guns and other police stuff

Series Masterlist

Y/n was incredibly proud of her outfit. She had scoured all of Gotham’s tackiest stores and invaded their clearance sections, picking out the most obnoxious outfits she could find. Now, standing in the precinct, Y/n was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts. Her goal was to dress like a suburban dad and she had succeeded. “Okey dokey.” Y/n told Steph, “the car is picking Jason and me up in two minutes. You cool with keeping tabs on my cases while I'm on the cruise?”

Steph nodded. “You bet. I hope you two have a great time. You guys definitely deserve it.”

“I am psyched to go on this week-long cruise, just sitting around doing nothing,” Y/n gushed.

Jason finished talking with Dick when he walked over to Y/n, placing an arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You ready to go?” he asked. “I signed us up for ballroom dancing ‘cause it seemed pretty cool. Is that okay?”

Y/n nodded, beaming up at him. “Good-bye, coworkers!” she called. “Or as they like to say at sea… honk! Honk!” She imitated a ship horn, pulling down on an imaginary rope.

An hour or so later, Jason helped Y/n out of the car as she grinned, “this is so great.” The boat they were taking was a majestic thing and both of them were excited to have some time off from work. “Seagulls, check. The ocean, check. A gang of oldies in short shorts, check, check, check.” Y/n grimaced as a pack of elderly people walked past, showing way too much skin for her liking. 

“We are definitely on a cruise,” Jason muttered.

As the pair walked up to the ship, an attendant beamed and said in a customer service voice, “Welcome aboard!”

Y/n thanked the attendant before Jason pulled her away to their room. “So I was thinking we could partake in some vigorous activity before relaxing?” He smirked as he pulled open the door.  

Y/n hummed and laughed lightly. “Oh, that sounds like a good idea.” She tugged on Jason’s shirt and Jason pulled her towards the bed.

Suddenly, before the couple could continue, an announcement came over the loudspeakers in the hallway. The voice carried into their room and called, “The all-ages piano lounge is now open and serves bottomless margaritas.” Jason and Y/n looked at each other, not impressed. Jason buried his face in Y/n’s neck and began peppering kisses on her skin when the announcement continued and said, “we also serve a drink with a potato skin in it.”

Y/n popped up and exclaimed, “ohh! To the all-ages piano lounge!” 

Jason groaned and practically collapsed on her, but couldn’t help but chuckle. He muttered something and pressed a kiss to her jawline before saying, “alright, let’s go.” 

Y/n smiled and kissed him lightly. “You’re the best.”

“I know.”

“Welcome aboard, ladies and gentlemen, but especially ladies,” a man said seductively into a microphone when Y/n and Jason walked hand-in-hand into the piano lounge.

Y/n’s brows furrowed and she mumbled, “I know that voice.”

“Get ready. It's time for some smush songs,” the man said before he started to play the piano.

Y/n gasped dramatically and her head whipped to stare at the man on stage. “Roy Harper! The Red Arrow. He's here.” Jason looked around before finally noticing the man on stage.

From behind the piano, Roy said, “we got songs about smushing, songs for smushing to, songs for the kids. This is the all-ages piano lounge. My daughter loves my songs,” he commented.

“I can't believe he's here! I've been hunting him for years and now fate has dropped him right into my lap,” Y/n cried. “He's gonna be so surprised when he sees me.”

“Hey, L/n, you made it!” Roy called from up on the stage, waving enthusiastically. A spotlight moved to shine on Y/n and Jason. “What took you so long, darling?” Jason sighed and his face deadpanned.

“Okay, seems like he's playing it pretty cool,” Y/n muttered. “He’s probably more surprised on the inside.”

“Uh-huh,” Jason couldn’t help but chuckle tiredly, knowing that their entire vacation was now to be preoccupied by Roy Harper.

At the end of Roy’s song (Y/n had very patiently waited until his set was over), Y/n and Jason cornered Roy. “L/n, it's no coincidence you're on a ship. You won a free cruise without entering a contest.”

“You did what?!” Jason interrupted. 

Roy ignored him. “How do you think that happened?”

“I don't know.” Y/n stuck her tongue out, refusing to be caught in Harper’s trap. “Maybe it's because I bought Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, and the Internet realised that cruises were one of my interests.”

“Great film,” Roy complimented. “Why does no one acknowledge what great range Matthew Gray Gubler has to go from Criminal Minds to Simon?!”

“Damn straight.” Yn snapped her fingers in appreciation. 

“But the tickets are all me,” Roy admitted. “I brought you here 'cause I'm in peril.”

“Pfft. Peril.” Y/n scoffed. Jason wandered away to check out the buffet.

“Don't ‘pfft’ my peril.” Roy wagged his finger, one hand on his hip sassily.

“Pfft,” Y/n repeated.

“Somebody's trying to kill me,” Roy insisted. “I need protection, so I sent for my best friend.”

“I am not your best friend,” Y/n hissed. “I'm your worst enemy. Get that through your head.”

“It's this kind of bickering that makes us such an adorable couple.” Roy held up his hands in a heart. 

Jason returned from the buffet, holding a plate piled high with food. He offered a doughnut to Y/n and she took it, kissing him on the cheek before glaring back at Roy. “Whatever, Roy. You're under arrest.”

“You can't arrest me, darling,” Roy raised a brow, smirking. “We're in international waters, which is also why I can smoke as much weed as I want. Welcome to the high seas.” He snickered.

Y/n shook her head. “No, no way that that's true. Jay, tell me I can arrest him right now. I wanna arrest him!” She stamped her foot.

Jason shrugged and said, “Harper’s right. We have no jurisdiction. Technically this boat flies under the flag of Uzbekistan.”

“Uh-oh.” Roy said in a high, breathy voice, holding a theatrical hand up to his mouth. “Your boy knows about the Uzbeks.” 

“But the captain can have him arrested,” Jason reassured Y/n. “He has total authority on this boat.”

“Perfect.” Y/n grinned triumphantly. “Captains love me. Just wait until he or she finds out they're employing a criminal.”

Unfortunately, when the trio found the captain on the bridge, the captain said, “Yeah, about forty percent of the crew are criminals. It's hard to find normal people who want to live on a boat. I, myself, am a tax evader.” 

Jason raised a brow and Roy said, “yeah, if there’s anyone to use the fluffy pink handcuffs on, it’s him. Not Y/n/n. Or me.” Roy winked at Jason. Jason shot back an unimpressed look.

“I just need him locked up till we get back to Gotham,” Y/n pleaded. “Can't you just throw him in boat jail?”

Both the captain and Jason said, “It's called the brig.”

“How do you know so much about boats?” Y/n whispered to Jason.

“Roy’s my best lounge singer, and I need to keep people distracted,” the capitan defended. “Just between us, we're nearly out of ranch dressing.”

“On day one?”

“These people are animals. Listen, as long as he's on my boat, Roy Harper is a free man.”

Y/n had to resist punching the man.

“Jaybird, Y/n, welcome to my cabin, aka the Boom-Boom Stateroom.” Roy opened a cabin door with a flourish to reveal a grande suite. The large bed was covered in rose petals, ambient music was playing in the background and there was a full jacuzzi in the bathroom.

Jason’s lips parted and he had to admit that he was impressed. “This is a royale level suite,” he said. “This is for first-classers only.”

“Little perk of being Carousel Cruises' entertainer of the year,” Roy boasted. “You're welcome to chill here. It's the least I can do to thank you for protecting me.”

“Never.” Y/n poked him in the chest. “This protection scam is a scam. Do you honestly think you can fool me again just because you've successfully done it numerous times before?”

“My old boss wants me dead,” Roy protested. “I've been laying low on this ship with Lian, but I got word from a friend that they found me. I got Lois to take Lian in for a couple weeks since there's a hitman coming to end my beautiful life. That's why I sent you the free tickets.”

“No! No, no way. I'm not buying it. You can't get away from me again. Jason and I are gonna spend every second of our romantic cruise watching you.” She looked back at Jason and hesitated. “Assuming that’s okay?”

Jason was starting to think that Y/n had a bit of an unhealthy obsession with the Red Arrow. But if it was important to her, then he would go along with it. “Yep. That's what we're gonna do.” He flopped down on the bed, hoping that this thing with Roy would wrap up so he could spend some time with his girlfriend. 

“We have to find the hitman before he finds me. I'm guessing this'll take us all over the boat. That's an ENAC sitch right there. That’s ‘Every Nook And Cranny.’”

“Okay, so where's this hitman, Harper?” Y/n sighed.

“Look, I don't know who they sent, but he's on the boat.” Roy pulled out a sheet of paper. “Check out this manifest. Somebody boarded in New York named Henry Coles.”

“Henry Street and Coles Street, that's the corner of your old chop shop in Gotham,” Y/n said immediately. “It’s an alias.”

“My porter buddy checked out Henry Coles' cabin,” Roy continued. “He hasn't been in it yet. He's hiding somewhere on this boat ready to jump out and kill me at any moment. Probably creepin' around in my closet.”

“Or stowed away in a lifeboat,” Y/n murmured.

“Or hiding in a wall,” Roy added.

“Or holed up in the engine room,” Y/n grinned.

“Camouflaged in the shrubbery,” Roy snickered.

The two of them pointed at each other and said, “predator style.”

Y/n then remembered her place and groaned. “No. We are not having fun. You will not suck me in with your wily charms.”

Later that day, Jason had convinced Y/n to go to the exhibits on the cruise ship. “Oh, this ship was a transporter during World War two,” he oohed. “Did you know that they actually had to turn the barracks into another medical office because there were so many injured soldiers? The ship got shot at multiple times and sustained damage to the hull, it it’s still operational. It was bought by this cruise company thirteen years ago.” Y/n hummed along. Usually, she would be fascinated by this (or at least pretend to be fascinated), but her gaze was currently focused on Roy Harper. “Oh, and the ship fought in four battles. I wonder what types of weapons were used…” He glanced at Y/n, but seeing that she was more focused on Roy, he sighed and trudged away to explore on his own.

“Hey, little advice,” Roy called from where he was standing. “Jason is great. If you want to keep him, you may wanna be more receptive to his interests.”

“Now you're taking it too far, Harper.” Y/n shook her head and scoffed. “I don't need relationship advice from my criminal archnemesis.”

Roy held up his hands in mock defence. “I just want to see you two happy.”

“No. This is just another one of your lies, just like your fake hitman.”

“There is a hitman on this boat!” Roy sighed in exasperation. “Henry Coles is coming to kill me.”

“Excuse me?” An old man turned around, his voice wavering.

“What?”

“You said my name,” the old man smiled kindly. “I'm Henry Coles.”

“You're Henry Coles?” Y/n stared at him, her eyes wide.

“According to my medical alert bracelet.” The man nodded and tapped his medical bracelet. The old man stared down at his bracelet, confused for a moment, as if he was checking to see if he really was Henry Coles.

“Well, this is interesting.” Y/n exaggerated her words as she skipped over to the old man. “This is Henry Coles! Let's just take a look at that.” She took the old man’s wrist, briefly checking it before saying, “Oh, it says, ‘Roy Harper is a liar.’”

“Actually, it says I'm a fall risk,” the man corrected.

“Okay, you're kind of ruining my burn here, Henry,” Y/n whispered. Henry Coles shuffled away and Y/n turned towards Roy, victorious. “I knew it. I knew Henry Coles was a ninety-year old man with type one diabetes and emphysema. Obviously, I didn't know those specifics, but I knew you were lying.”

Roy frowned and crossed his arms. “So Henry Coles wasn't the guy. My bad. There's still somebody on this boat who wants to kill me!”

“You're trying to get away, and it's not gonna happen. We're spending the rest of this trip in your cabin.” Jason found his way back to Y/n and wrapped his arms around her waist. He rested his head on her hair and sighed, feeling more relaxed when he inhaled her scent. “Jason and I will take sleep shifts to make sure someone's always watching you.”

“Thank you. That makes me feel super safe,” Roy said. They started back towards the Boom-Boom Stateroom. Y/n took Jason’s hand. Roy grinned and casually said, “And if you want to smush, I have a sleep mask and noise cancelling headphones.”

Jason sighed and rolled his eyes. “Can't we just lock him up in there? Do we really have to trade off sleep for the next six nights?”

Y/n took a breath and said softly, “I know. I'm sorry.”

Jason bit the inside of his cheek and muttered, “fine. I get it. He's the Red Arrow.” In a tense voice, he said, “You take the first shift.”

“Thank you so much!” Y/n cupped Jason’s cheek. “You're the best. I lo-” Y/n was cut off by the shattering of mirror glass and the banging open of the room closet. A man barrelled into the room and tackled Roy. Y/n tensed up and tugged the man off of Roy. “Hey, GCPD! Let him go!”

The man punched Y/n and Jason practically growled. Jason wrenched the man off of Y/n and threw him to the floor. The man scampered to his feet and ran out of the room. 

Roy stood up and ran an irritated hand through his hair. “Now do you believe me? That guy was trying to kill me!”

“Alright, fine! Someone wants you dead!” Y/n threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. “You win.”

“Well, thank god you were there, L/n. I knew you wouldn't let your best friend die.”

“I'm still gonna arrest you.” Y/n grumbled, “I just can't do that if you're dead.”

“Whatever you gotta tell yourself,” Roy chuckled. “Baby steps.” Roy nudged Jason and tsked as if sharing a secret, “it's hard getting her out of her shell.”

Jason sighed and crossed his arms. “Tell me about it. Every time we get emotional, she deflects it. I know it has to do with her childhood, but-”

“Okay, can we focus up here?” Y/n interrupted, shooting both men a nasty glare. “We still don't know what your hitman looks like, so we're gonna have to flush him out. Wait a minute. Where do the toilets on this boat go?”

“You don't want to know.” Roy shook his head.

“The pool?” Y/n asked, aghast.

“Ocean.”

“Oh, that's even worse. That's where my shrimpies live.”

“He'll probably try to hit me at my show this afternoon. At least I'll die doing what I love: getting people horny at sea.” Roy placed a hand over his heart.

“Yeah. Yeah. That's gross,” Jason grumbled. 

“Alright, here's the plan. We're gonna leave you alone on stage and dangle you as bait,” Y/n said.

“Damn! Bait dangling?” Roy clicked his tongue, feeling the burn.

“If we're up on stage with you, it could spook him,” Y/n explained. “We'll blend into the crowd, and we'll take him down before he even gets to you.”

“But if you're gonna blend in, you got to blend in.”

Jason held out an arm to Y/n and she took it, beaming up at him. Both of them were in ugly neon shirts and thick white sneakers. “Shall we?” Jason asked in a posh accent..

“Ladies and gentlemen, widows and widowers,” Roy whispered into the microphone. “Welcome to the all-ages piano lounge adults only show. This is a little song I wrote myself, called Cassandra, Cassandra, Cassandra.” Y/n snickered before Roy sang, “Cassandra, Cassandra, Cassandra!”

“It's so crowded in here, and the lighting is way too sexy to see anything,” Y/n whispered to Jason.

Just then, Roy started singing, “Right there on the floor… Is the man you're looking for…” Y/n and Jason looked around, confused. “He's right in front of you… A little bit to the left… My left, my left, my left, my left,” Roy corrected the couple and Jason and Y/n shuffled to the correct direction. “Come on this way… He's in a red shirt… No, not the Asian dude… I'm talking about a bright red shirt…” Roy grinned and crooned, “That's the man you're looking for… That's the man you've been looking for!”

“I got him. Follow me,” Jason muttered before losing sigh of the man. “Ah, come on.”

“This is still a love song,” Roy serenaded.

“Where'd he go?” Y/n frowned, looking around.

Roy announced loudly, “Well, that ends my show, all of a sudden. You've been a great crowd. Thank you very much.” Both Y/n and Jason looked up to the stage where Roy was being led away by another man who was holding a knife to Roy’s neck.

Y/n and Jason exchanged a look before running after Roy. They followed him to a narrow hallway behind the stage. “Y/n/n, help me. I don't want to die,” Roy whimpered. “Lian needs me…”

Y/n’s eyes flashed with loyalty and fear. “Okay, just put the knife down,” she instructed the hitman. “There's no murder in the all-ages piano lounge.”

“Screw you, slut,” the hitman spat.

“That’s not a very all-ages thing to say.” Jason’s jaw twitched and he stepped towards the hitman.

The hitman shoved Roy aside and lunged at Jason. Jason easily wrestled the man to the floor and secured the hitman’s hands together with an electrical cord that Y/n threw him.

After Y/n checked up on Jason and ensured he was okay, she called out, “you okay, Roy?”

A door slams from behind him and Y/n’s whirled around. “No. No, no, no, no, no,” she whimpered. She ran to the railing of the ship, whiplashing from the sudden stop. Jason bolted up behind her and placed a steading hand in her back. Roy Harper waved up at the pair from a small lifeboat. “Bye, L/n! Thanks for saving my life!”

“No. Roy! Don't do this!” Y/n cried. “No, not again!”

“Sorry to do this to you, darling,” Roy called through a bullhorn. “I saw an opening, and I had to take it. I can't go to jail. I'm too cool. Also, who will take care of Lian?”

“You'll never get away from me, Harper!” Y/n’s fists clenched around the ship’s railing.

“I can't hear what you're saying.” Roy put a hand up to his ear. “You're really far away. I'll just assume you're finally admitting we're best friends.”

“That is not what I'm saying!” Y/n insisted.

“Thank you. It means a lot to me!” Roy grinned and said, “enjoy the rest of your cruise. Just remember, you got a fine man. Check your pockets!” Jason pulled out a key card from his pocket and Roy announced, “Boom-Boom Stateroom, baby!”

“Thank you, but this isn't over!” Y/n screamed. “I will hunt you to the ends of the Earth!”

“I love you too!” Roy blew her a kiss. “I'm so proud of us for being able to say it. What are you still standing there for? Go smush!”

“Roy! No!”

A couple hours later, Y/n and Jason were laying in bed, tuckered out from the day’s activities. Y/n mumbled into space, “if the toilets drain into the ocean, does that mean a tiny shark could swim up and bite me in the butt?”

“No, not at all,” Jason muttered back.

“Lame.” Y/n rolled her eyes.

“Look.” Jason rolled over on his side to look at Y/n. “I know you're bummed about the Red Arrow so if it's any consolation, we could spend the rest of the cruise doing absolutely nothing.”

“That is so incredibly sweet, but no way,” Y/n smiled softly, gazing over at Jason with soft vulnerability and care in her eyes. “We have a pretty cool activity to do.” She laughed lightly and said, “you'll never guess what starts in three minutes.”

“Ballroom dancing!”

“Oh, so you can guess.”

Three minutes later, Jason held Y/n in his arms and murmured, “thank you for doing this.” He took a breath and admitted, “I love you.”

Y/n stared up at him with wide, scared eyes. “Noice. Smort,” she swallowed roughly. Jason’s eyes flickered downward and his expression revealed a layer of quiet sadness. Y/n took a breath and gathered her courage. “I love you too,” she whispered. Jason stared at her, a soft smile on his lips and his eyes full of unbelievable love and warmth. After a beat, Y/n muttered, “also, I think this is definitely a dance class for widows.” The two glanced around to see an old lady waving suggestively at Jason. Jason groaned loudly and bent down to bury his face in Y/n’s neck, a blushing embarrassment on his face.

[accb1]

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[silverseaming]

croit bheag | a lot by silverseaming

i recently reached 100 followers (ahhh!! thank you all so so much <3), and in celebration of this i'm releasing my very first lot!

as a historical simmer who isn't american, i'm always on the lookout for historical builds based in britain, so i thought i'd have a go at building some of my own!

this build is based on a traditional scottish highland croft, a type of smallholding that emerged after the highland clearances. the highland clearances took place in the north of scotland between 1750 and 1860, and saw highlanders moved from the land that their ancestors had lived on for generations. those that were left may have moved into crofting communities on poorer quality land.

my build consists of a two-room thatched house with a kitchen on one side of the building and chamber on the other side, along with small amounts of planting and grazing land (aka ridged beds and a barn in sims hehe). in the chamber i attempted a little box-bed (where the bed is enclosed within a wooden cupboard). i tried to make it cc free but @lilis-palace's folklore collections were too perfect!

lot details

§23, 262 (i had to decorate a bit, sorry!)

30x20

uses item from horse ranch, cottage living, get together and vampires

simple living, off the grid

cc not included (please see cc list)

playtested to the best of my ability!

required cc

lili's palace folklore konyha part i

lili's palace folklore homestead set

lili's palace intarsia heirloom set

lili's palace folklore off the grid set

AmeyaSims better than a bush outhouse

psb old needlepoint samplers

thank you so much to the cc creators <3

download (free on sfs) | or my gallery id is blossomtrait (select includes custom content)

floorplan below the cut! ￬