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dootdootwriting · 3 years ago

Note

CONGRATS FOR 600+!!! I SAW UR EVENT SO IF I HAVE THE CHANCE, IM TAKING IT

The whole alphabet for Thoma. (Gn reader)

PLEASE dont overwork yourself though. You dont have to do it all if youre tired or something. Thank you and congrats!

600+ writing event

ty for ur request anon!! also you're funny. overwork myself? how could i possibly do that when i'm already avoiding all of my schoolwork? entire alphabet for thoma coming right up! (under the cut for length)

fluff alphabet with thoma; gn reader; no warnings apply

A-Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?)

- thoma enjoys pretty much any type of shared activities with you, but ultimately his favorite kind is any that involves food. he'll go on tours of inazuma city with you to find the best places to get ice cream, or he'll buy a whole bunch of food and see what kind of dishes you can make together! nine times out of ten it ends up being really weird and a little gross, but it's fun and he loves spending time with you.

B-Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

- he admires your ambition, your humor, and your own personal flair. he loves the person you are, and almost everything that goes into that, but he specifically loves the unique little traits that make you you.

C-Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?)

- his first instinct is to give you a big hug or rub your back, but only if he knows you're okay with it and that it would actually help. his first goal is to make sure you're okay, and then his second goal is to cheer you up: with bad jokes and kisses, usually

D-Dreams (how do they picture the future with their s/o?)

- thoma isn't super picky with how you two end up in the future, as long as you're together and happy. he wants to grow old with you, ideally, though however you do that will decide itself.

E-Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or rather passive?)

- thoma is used to taking the lead in your relationship, but he's not necessarily more dominant or anything - he's just excited to be with you and wants to make sure you're just as happy as he is. your relationship is pretty balanced!

F-Fun (what do they do for fun with their s/o? what's their idea of a fun day out?)

- he loves loves loves going out on walks, especially in the city, and just finding random things that seem fun to do. there are a bunch of people playing cornhole over there, how about you guys join in for a game? they're selling a new kind of hotpot at that restaurant, better give it a try!

G-Gratitude (how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?)

- he's definitely aware of everything you do for him, and he's also very grateful that you're with him. he makes sure to let you know that every day.

H-Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

- i think the only time thoma would ever keep something from you on purpose is if it would be somehow dangerous for you to know. other than that, he likes to make sure you're aware of everything you need to be. he likes his privacy like anyone else, but he also values communication.

I-Inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?)

- being with you hasn't necessarily changed him (aside from the fact that you two are almost always seen together now) but it's definitely improved his mood a lot, not that it was ever really bad. he also likes to show off more now that you're around...

J-Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

- thoma gets jealous relatively easily but is also not one to step in unless it's a situation in which you seem uncomfortable. he trusts you wholeheartedly, which sometimes means he has to keep himself from getting overly worried.

K-Kisses (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?).

- he's a very good kisser. thoma's kisses are playful and sweet, or alternatively full of reassurance and love. your first kiss was a little rushed and he was a little nervous (not that he'd ever admit that) but he knew it was the right time.

L-Love confession (how would they confess to their s/o?)

- confesses accidentally while watching you do something that's actually pretty normal. you tap him on the shoulder and ask where he wants to go for lunch and he just kinda stares at you and then says "man i love you" and you're like. what. but he plays it off like he TOTALLY MEANT to say that and definitely didn't slip up.

M-Mornings (what's it like waking up with them? do they sleep late or wake up before the sun rises?)

- lazy lazy lazy. thoma knows he has to go to work but why would he do that when you're next to him all curled up into him? he can't just abandon you like that! fortunately the kamisatos are very forgiving, so when he shows up late they don't give him an earful.

N-Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?)

- babe/baby, sunshine, and occasionally sweetheart but usually just to tease you

O-On cloud nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

- when thoma first realizes he's in love with you it hits him like a truck and he has to sit down for a second to process it. after that he hangs around you a lot more often, and it's pretty obvious to anyone watching that he's in love.

P-PDA (how are they with PDA? is it fun to them or are they more reserved with their affection?)

- thoma's comfortable with pda and likes to tease you with it sometimes, unless you're someone who absolutely hates it, in which case he'll settle with handholding. otherwise, he'll give you random light kisses on the cheek or will grab you and pull you into him at random points throughout the day.

Q-Quirk (some random thing they do when they're with you for no reason in particular)

- his nose scrunches when he's trying not to laugh at you, which makes you laugh at him, which makes him laugh at you. congratulations! you have achieved pile of laughter.

R-Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?)

- thoma is very romantic and also values friendship with his partner as well. he's sort of a mix between cliché and creative - while he will definitely take you out for a fancy dinner and lend you his jacket, he will also take you out to the lake and push you in or make a date out of who can spot the most dogs on a day out.

S-Support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals do they believe in them?)

- one hundred percent he believes in you and will do his best to help you achieve any goals you have. ok thats the end of this headcanon i have nothing else to say GHCCN

T-Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship or do they prefer certain routine?)

- thoma loves trying new things! he doesn't need things to change constantly (and also that might be very tiring for him) but he does like to switch things up a little.

U-Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?)

- forgot to change it from "good" to "well." WHOOPS. anyway

- thoma is very empathetic, so he's quick to understand how you're feeling, though it'll take him a little longer to understand why it is you're feeling like that. once you explain to him, he knows just what to do, whether it be celebrate with you on a big win or comfort you or give you some space.

V-Value (how important is the relationship to them? What is its worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

- it's SO important to him. having you in his life is one of the most important things to him. he's also been with the kamisatos for a really long time though, so thoma will need a little bit to sort out where his priorities are. rest assured that you're definitely up there.

W-Wild card (a random fluff headcanon?)

- thoma really likes the feeling of you running your fingers through his hair. bonus points if you wash it for him (he'll return the favor)

X-XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

- if you're ever available for affection, thoma will take advantage of it. he loves being close to you and generally just the feeling of loving and being loved in return, especially when that incorporates physical affection. listen he just really likes being kissed.

Y- Yearning (how will they cope when they are missing their partner?)

- when you're gone thoma will surround himself with things that remind him of you. he'll also occasionally call your name or say things to you absentmindedly before remembering you're not there at present. poor guy... he'll be very happy once you're home.

Z-Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

- it depends on the lengths. the worst case scenario for thoma would be if he somehow had to choose between you and his work - that would terrify him, even though there's no way it would ever happen. other than that, since you're way up on his priority list, there's not much that he wouldn't do for you.

#doot's 600 event!#thoma x reader #tohma x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #fluff alphabet #fluff #thoma hcs #thoma fluff alphabet #thoma #tohma #gi thoma

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ushittyoldman · 4 years ago

Text

nobody’s fault but mine (pt. 2)

Levi wouldn’t really be Levi if he knew how to handle his intense feelings for you.

pairing. levi x fem!reader AND a little bit of jean x fem!reader (b/c once again i am a slut 4 jean too)

warnings. some fluff, language (b prepared for a lot of the f-bomb)

a/n. hi sorry 4 the long wait, life is a little hectic rn (it’s snowing n our power has been going out on n off for the past few days lmfao also school b lowkey kicking my ass) BUT i wanted 2 say thank u so so much 4 all ur feedback to part 1 it was so so so unexpected n sweet n flattering i literally still can’t wrap my head around it. i would rly appreciate some feedback 2 this one too since this is A LOT more levi n i actually adored writing him but i would luv 2 know what u guys think of my characterization of him (im a little nervy) but yes feedback is encouraged! this is kinda long but a lot happens so i rly hope u guys appreciate this n enjoy it bc it took me so long 2 write n rewrite it heheheh (side note 4 the sake of age n everything, all the 104th cadets r actually 18+ including our cute lil reader) also! pls continue 2 request more levi ok that’s it 4 now enjoy!

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”

“Jean!”

The hushed voices stirred you out of the pleasant state of unconsciousness you had been in. A sharp pain shot through your head as you slowly opened your eyes, blinking quickly to adjust to the bright light. You flexed your fingers subtly as an attempt to gain awareness of yourself and your surroundings. Once you were comfortable, you slowly turned your head to your right and saw a scene you had grown painfully familiar with– Jean arguing with someone. The victim of the week was Armin, and you almost wanted to laugh at the quick back-and-forth between the two.

“Your bedside manner… sucks,” you managed to mumble. You cringed at the uncharacteristic hoarseness of your voice.

“There she is!” Jean exclaimed, shooting a victorious smirk at Armin, before fondly looking down at you, as he moved closer to your side.

You heard multiple gasps of your name, and you quickly turned your head to your left, before regretting it due to the sharp pang that followed in your head. Nevertheless, you mustered up as bright a smile as you could, looking at your friends who had all taken various positions throughout the room. Eren was the first to your bed, embracing you tightly.

“That was scary,” he softly mumbled your name, before pulling back, “Don’t do that again.”

The concern on his face startled you momentarily, and you couldn’t help but avert your eyes. You blinked quickly before looking up and shyly smiling at Eren.

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

You then looked up at your fellow cadets, who stood surrounding your small bed in the infirmary. Your love for these people sat heavily in your chest, and you beamed up at them, before you realized you were in the infirmary.

“What happened?” you genuinely asked, your husky voice taking you by surprise again.

“Oh, I’ll tell you what happened!” Jean scowled, crossing his arms in anger, “That little bastard—”

“Jean, you can’t say that about the Captain!” Sasha chided, looking sideways in fear as if to emphasize her point.

“Captain, my ass!”

You attempted to stifle your giggling, yet your mood significantly dropped upon remembering Levi’s treatment towards you this past month. You tried to conceal your obviously bothered expression, but you felt a hand softly ruffle your hair. You looked up and smiled at Reiner.

“Don’t sweat it, kiddo, I’m sure he’ll tone down the punishments after this,” he reassured, obviously mistaking your dejection over your unreciprocated feelings for Levi for something else.

Appreciating the gesture, you continued to smile up at him while nodding softly. Reiner had a comforting presence, and you felt your mood brighten slightly.

“Fingers crossed,” you deadpanned, earning a soft laugh from Bertholdt, who had taken a seat at the foot of your bed.

Jean’s relentless bashing of the Captain continued, as Sasha, Connie, and Armin attempted to calm him down, warning him about the consequences they’d all have to face if word got back to Levi. Eren gritted his teeth in irritation, as he glared up at Jean, threatening to “knock him out if he didn’t shut up,” while Mikasa had silently moved around the chaos to rest her calloused hand on your own, silently squeezing as a gesture of comfort. You squeezed back.

“Look, all I’m saying is he obviously has it out for her. She’s a better soldier than all of us– even you, titan boy— and it’s still not good enough? I call bullshit!”

“I think he’s just trying to be a good teacher, I’m sure there’s a lot I can still improve on,” you justified, and all eyes turned to you.

“There’s not,” Mikasa bluntly stated, leaving no room for argument.

Your friends all agreed, and you scrunched your nose playfully to conceal the warmth that had spread throughout your body at their praise. You worked hard to get where you were– there was a satisfaction in knowing that all of your effort wasn’t going unacknowledged.

“Jean-boy’s right—”

“Bastard!”

“—Captain Levi has been unnecessarily cruel to her, and we’ve all noticed it!” Eren’s fists clenched in anger as he ignored Jean’s yelling.

“But the Captain isn’t the type to hold grudges or act impulsively, so I think there’s something deeper to it,” Armin reasoned, apologetically glancing at you in case his words offended you.

You nodded softly, not wanting to worsen your headache; however, it didn’t really matter when Jean’s painfully loud voice retaliated almost immediately.

“He overworked her to the point of her passing out from exhaustion and severe dehydration!” His eyebrows furrowed in anger, and his sandy brown hair bounced with his every move.

You winced from the pain in your head, and the movement didn’t go unnoticed by Reiner, who glanced at you from where he stood.

“Jean— inside voice, yeah?” Reiner softly spoke, subtly tilting his head down towards you. Jean’s gaze softened and concern replaced the anger on his contorted features, as he apologized to you.

“Yeah, seriously, what are you getting so worked up for?” Connie innocently asked, before a knowing look crossed his features. He turned to his partner-in-crime, and the two donned shit-eating grins as they turned back to Jean.

“Right, that’s why.”

Bertholdt, whose lanky body had been horizontally lying across the bed comfortably, sat up onto his elbows and cluelessly asked, “What’s why?”

Sasha’s smile widened, and she crossed her arms, mimicking Connie’s knowing smirk. “It’s because Jean-boy, here, is sweet on our dear little—”

“Would you shut up!” Jean yelled louder than before, fists shaking in anger. His face was flushed an impossible shade of red, and you would’ve joined in on the laughter, had your head not exploded from the pain.

You were fully aware of the incessant teasing Jean received regarding his relationship with you, and you would honestly be lying if you said you didn’t get a kick out of it as well. Deciding to spare your friend today, you sent a good-natured smile to him, hoping that would be enough to quell his frustration.

Had you not turned to converse with Eren, you wouldn’t have missed Jean’s dazed smile.

While talking to Eren, your mind briefly drifted to Levi and the situation that was weighing heavily on you. You didn’t want to believe that the Captain hated you– you desperately grasped onto your excuse that he was simply a harsh teacher. And yet, you knew there was something more to it.

In a panic-driven moment, you momentarily wondered if he had somehow found out about your feelings for him. You remembered him telling you about his upbringing— you knew better than most that Levi and confessions of love did not go together... at all. Before you could further dig yourself deeper into the pitiful hole you had been in the past month, a painfully familiar voice broke through your intrusive thoughts.

“You know how loud you are? This isn’t a damn daycare.”

“Sir!”

All conversation in the room came to an abrupt halt. You couldn’t help but grow amused at the sight of Eren and Bertholdt scrambling off your bed to stand and salute their superior. Your small smile was wiped off your face when your eyes met stormy grey ones. You quickly looked down, before inhaling quickly and swiftly pulling your bedsheets back. You attempted to muster as much strength as you could, ignoring the multiple eyes on you. You gracefully stood up from the bed, and turned to Levi, managing the salute as well. You slowly looked up at him.

“Sir,” you shakily mumbled, internally cringing once again at the uncharacteristic rasp to your voice.

You received proud looks of admiration from your friends, though Jean’s remained more concerned than proud. Idiot! he thought to himself. We know you’re strong, now’s not the time to prove it!

Levi, meanwhile, had tried his very best to suppress the guilt that had been eating away at him for the past day; however, it had only worsened when he saw you and heard your weak voice. Upon making eye contact with you, he almost wanted to fall to his knees and apologize profusely for everything he had put you through, audience be damned.

Levi had spent the better half of the day pacing around your room in the infirmary wing of the Scout Regiment’s base, lost deeply in his thoughts, as his concern for you weighed heavily in his heart. After a few more hours of pacing, he had finally come to the conclusion that he was an idiot (a grade A, unique brand of idiot all in a league of his very own), and that he was in love with you.

Where the first realization annoyed him to high heaven, the second one brought him a sense of peace that was only heightened every time he had looked at your unconscious form.

Levi, uncomfortable with the amount of self-actualizing he had done that day, had left the room after softly caressing your cheek, hoping to convey all of his guilt and apologies and love into the simple gesture. Once he was away from the infirmary wing of the base, he inhaled deeply, itching for the comfort of a cup of warm tea. On his way to the mess hall, he had passed by your friends from the 104th, all undoubtedly on their way to see you. Levi’s eyebrow had slightly risen upon noticing the varying looks of defiance and anger on each of their faces. He had remained unfazed, his half-lidded eyes looking away, as if he hadn’t even seen them at all.

Somehow, it was harder to face them now with you standing amongst them.

His face retained its usual impassive and bored expression, yet it momentarily faltered when he noticed you slightly stumble from where you were standing next to the hospital bed. Levi’s heartbeat quickened, and he made a subtle move to rush over to you to catch you for the second time that day, but Jean was quicker. The taller man had been keeping a watchful eye on you, and had quickly dropped his salute to stand behind you and steady your slightly uncoordinated form. You comfortably relaxed backwards into his arms as you sent a grateful smile up at him, and he softly smiled back in response, leading you back to the bed.

Levi was both relieved and a little fucking pissed off.

“Visiting hours are over— I need to talk to the brat,” he lazily said, authority ringing loudly and clearly in his command.

For the first time in all his years of captaining the scouts, there was a quick hesitation after his command.

Levi raised an unamused eyebrow at each of the cadets, silently challenging them to disobey him. Despite his threatening aura, he wouldn’t blame any of your friends if they were to defy Levi. The Captain deserved it for his treatment of you— he’d take it like a man.

Your eyes widened in surprise when your friends subtly glanced at you, silently asking if it was okay to leave you alone with him. Upon hearing Levi’s request to talk to you, your heart had begun to uncontrollably race and you swore you could feel it in your throat. You were disappointed in yourself for growing excited at finally being able to talk to him.

Blinking quickly, your cheeks grew hot under everyone’s gazes, so you reassuringly smiled at your eight friends, and you once again felt the genuine love you had for them erupt within your heart.

Ever the peacemaker of the group, Armin signaled for the rest to follow him out of the room, and they each uncertainly walked behind him. Mikasa squeezed your hand once more before following closely behind Eren, who sent you an encouraging smile. Bertholdt subtly sent a thumbs up to you, while Reiner winked at you as he looked over his broad shoulder. Your smile widened; however, it faltered when your eyes met Jean’s. His irritated expression worried you, yet before you could respond, he turned away and walked past Levi.

Levi had to give it to Jean— not many people had the balls to openly glare at the Captain.

Once everyone was gone, the tension within the room increased tenfold. You looked at Levi, and you bit your lip in contemplation, anticipating what he would say. Many thoughts rang through your head.

Was it another punishment? Was he going to yell at me? Did he find out about my fee–

“How do you feel?”

You almost had to pinch yourself. After one month of barely any interactions with your friend— if you were still even allowed to call him that— you realized how starved you were for pleasant conversation with Levi.

“I’ve been better,” you breathed out, still cautious. “How… how do you feel?”

Even after such an unpleasant experience, your unwavering kindness shone just as brightly. Levi’s heart ached so sweetly, and he internally groaned upon realizing how fucking whipped he was.

He silently stepped forward, pulling a seat to the side of your bed. Once he was seated, Levi looked into your eyes, and you felt your breath hitch at the intensity of the swirl of emotions dancing within his normally cold eyes. He exhaled softly.

You noticed how tired he looked.

“Just peachy.”

There was a pregnant pause, and you came to realize that there was just too much you wanted to say to him, and you didn’t know where to start. Your soft eyes held his sharp gaze.

“You scared the shit out of me, brat.”

Your heart involuntarily skipped a beat, and your eyes widened in response.

“I did?” you internally slapped yourself at your stupid response.

“Yeah. You did.”

“Sorry, sir,” you softly mumbled.

“Levi… just Levi.”

The Levi in front of you was a completely different man from the one who you’ve had the pleasure of interacting with over the past month. You thought back to your friends and their anger at your mistreatment, and you thought of the many unfair punishments, cold shoulder treatments, and overworking during training (despite you being second only to Humanity’s Strongest, himself). Slowly, your incredulity at being treated like a lapdog began to dim and was replaced by your growing indignation. Though you were no stranger to standing up for yourself, you still felt your anxiety skyrocket as you looked back up at your superior.

“Do you hate me, Captain? Did I… did I do something?”

And there it was.

Levi knew the question would come up at some point, and yet he still felt ill-prepared in his response. He knew this was a big step for you— in the whole year that he’s gotten to know you, he learned how much you hated confrontation. You blatantly ignoring his request and choosing to address him by his title caught his attention, and he frowned. When he looked into your slightly watery eyes, a warmth spread throughout his chest, and he had to clear his throat.

“Don’t say shit like that, you haven’t done anything.”

Levi wanted to punch himself— he was never good with words.

You, however, weren’t fazed by the manner in which he spoke. You had fallen for the man, harsh words and all.

“Then why have you—” you paused as you momentarily lost your voice.

Levi thought it was cute (to be fair, he found everything about you endearing), yet he knew it would be inappropriate to openly admire you when you were so clearly upset with him.

“Sorry,” you grew embarrassed and licked your lips, “It’s just… well, why have you been ignoring me? And— and yelling at me? We stopped drinking tea together, and practicing in the forests. You don’t even acknowledge me when I talk to you! I’m sure you have a really good reason, sir, but I just—”

Levi detested the sick feeling of guilt that churned within his heart. In hindsight, he really should’ve thought it through before he began his little plan of distancing himself from you. How else was he supposed to tell you oh, everyone in the fucking Scout Regiment wants you, and so do I, but I haven’t done anything about it because I’m a pussy, so I just decided to take it out on you and wallow in my own self-pity like the sad little man I am, without sounding like he was deranged.

“—I just miss you.”

Levi’s eyes widened a fraction of an inch, and his breath hitched. This time it was the sincerity in your eyes that made him look away quickly.

“I…”

I’ve missed you too, dammit.

At his lack of a response, your eyebrows furrowed, and your irritation grew. Your small hands balled the soft bedsheet, and you swallowed to soften the burn in your throat before speaking.

“Why did you even come here?” you scoffed indignantly, attempting to mask your hurt, “Was it to just to yell at me some more? Oh, I know! Maybe I need to run through training ten more times again, right?”

The guilt churned even more in his chest, and Levi seriously wanted to punch himself. He willed himself to say something— anything— but he felt speechless in front of you.

“Levi,” you hoarsely spoke with desperation, and he looked into your watery eyes. “Say something, please.”

It was as if you had read his mind, and a slight feeling of reassurance quelled the storm in his heart; you really were the only one for him. As he met your eyes— your beautiful, enchanting eyes— he felt his self-hatred skyrocket at the amount of hurt in them. He had grown used to seeing them filled with humor, kindness, and a soft edge that was rare to find nowadays. Yet seeing them filled with such pain and hurt was unsettling, and Levi went mute for the fifth time that day.

You nodded in understanding when he failed to say anything, and your heart clenched. Jean had been right— you were nothing more than a lovesick puppy. You blinked quickly as a poor attempt to conceal your tears, yet nothing ever escaped the Captain’s attention.

His gaze softened, and Levi found out something else about himself— he really didn’t like seeing you cry.

“Shit, please don’t cry,” he tenderly mumbled, as he leaned closer to you and gently cupped your face to wipe away your tears with the pads of his thumb.

Your breath hitched and your full lips involuntarily parted. You relished in the warmth of his touch, and you wanted nothing more than to lean into his comforting hand. Your name fell from his lips, and you felt yourself come back to reality. Remembering just how you had gotten into this situation, you decided to stand your ground. Despite everything in your body begging to give in and accept this moment with the Captain, you stood unwavering in your decision.

You gently grabbed his large hand with both your hands, and moved it away from your face and into your lap. You held it there loosely and delicately rubbed your fingers over his hand soothingly before eventually stopping, and looking back up at him.

His usual bored expression was long gone, and in its place was a very tender and vulnerable expression. A storm was brewing in his grey eyes, and you distantly remembered stargazing once with him. You had desperately wished you could read his thoughts— somehow, you had found his daunting eyes more fascinating than the starry sky. You felt an ache in your heart at the intimate memories, and you really really wished Levi loved you the way you love him.

“You know what, Levi? It doesn’t even matter if you hate me, because—” you inhaled sharply.

This has to be done, you reassured yourself, or else you’d be subjecting yourself to an onslaught of hurt and heartbreak.

“—Because I hate you.”

Your lip quivered and your broken voice faltered. And of course, Levi noticed.

His eyes darted down to your lips at the slight movement. His hands had stilled, and he decided that getting eaten by a damn titan would be much less painful than this.

And then he’s looking at you. You looked back at him, yet he’s looking at you— through you— in that way that makes you want to hide and hold your ground at the same time.

“Right,” Levi drawled, and you knew he didn’t believe you (hell, you were unconvinced yourself). His eyes reverted back to their cold nature, and he ran a hand through his hair, allowing the silky strands to softly land against his forehead.

He stood up, and wordlessly gave you a onceover. Under his scrutiny, you felt yourself grow insecure, but deep down you desperately hoped he’d stay. You bit your bottom lip in apprehension, and Levi’s eyes softened at the sight of your nervous habit.

How is it that he could kill titans all the livelong day yet when it came to this sweet girl, so small and disarming, he couldn’t even utter a single word?

Levi had never felt more pathetic. He peered down at you, momentarily debating whether it would be right for him to attempt one last thing before finally deciding fuck it, and gently cupping your cheek for the third time that day, bending down, and pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. He gingerly inhaled your enticing scent, appreciating how even after the hell he had put you through, you still smelled so alluring.

You were positive that Levi could hear your heartbeat. You blinked many times in disbelief, as he pulled away and sent one last lingering gaze down at you.

Levi slightly smirked at the pretty blush that had colored your cheeks, his half-lidded eyes drinking in the mesmerizing sight of you sitting up in your bed and gaping up at him, your cheeks flushed and wet with the remnants of your tears. He turned around and silently left the room.

He had ignored every part of his body that begged him to stay.

▲▼▲

“Shut up, I can barely hear them!”

“Ow— Bertholdt, you’re stepping on my foot!”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Watch it, horse face!”

“Eren.”

“You piece of shit, I’m—”

The piece of bread that had been tightly held in Sasha’s grip suddenly fell to the floor. Everyone went silent.

“Holy shit, I think… I think he just kissed her.”

Jean really hoped Sasha was wrong.

He decided to ignore the fact that her freakishly good hearing bordered on supernatural, so there was really no way she could’ve been wrong with a mere wooden door standing between her and the conversation.

“I knew there was something going on between them! Reiner— pay up.”

Reiner muttered several curses under his breath as he pulled out a hefty stack of cash from his pocket. Connie’s grin widened.

Armin had glanced up at Jean, slightly alarmed at the dark expression on his face. Before he could comfort his friend, the door suddenly opened. Everyone scrambled to straighten themselves up, attempting to act like they hadn’t been just eavesdropping on the entire conversation between you and the Captain.

A chorus of sir’s rang throughout the large hallway, and Levi grew amused at the sight before him. His lips twitched upwards, and the cadets had to almost physically stop their mouths from dropping open at the sight. Levi’s ghost of a smile disappeared when his eyes met Jean’s seething ones.

The two held each other’s gazes, Levi’s expression being cool, while Jean’s had been irritated. Levi was not a fucking idiot; he knew the kid was in love with you.

Join the fucking club.

Levi, realizing that this was the exact reason he had gotten himself into that mess with you and not really wanting to sour his somewhat good mood, looked away from Jean to nod at the group of your friends.

“As you were.”

He brushed past Jean, his gaze as intimidating as ever, as he silently walked down the hallway. Jean’s fists clenched tightly. Once Levi had turned the corner, the group exploded into chatter, their reactions varying from stunned to adoring.

Jean really really fucking hoped Sasha was wrong.

▲▼▲

Your horse trotted proudly through the vast landscape, the wind blew through your open hair, your friends teased each other amicably, and your excitement grew at finally being cleared to join the scouts on their next expedition. Though you hadn’t been getting much sleep lately, and you’ve been a little too preoccupied to eat much, nothing could bring your mood down at this moment.

You were alongside your friends as you all followed the section commanders as their horses galloped into the edge of the forest. The mission for today was to exterminate any titans who had wandered too close to the walls. A simple mission, and you were more than capable.

You had been in a great mood.

Until your eyes landed on Levi.

He had been further up, leading his own squad. He had turned around to respond to Gunther, and that’s when his eyes had met yours. Your internal conflict grew, and you ultimately ended up averting your eyes and ignoring him, deciding to maintain your cold treatment towards him.

Him kissing your head had only further confused you, despite the sweet butterflies you felt every time you thought back to it. Levi’s treatment towards you had unexpectedly changed since that day in the infirmary, and it had reverted to the way it was before his sudden aversion to you, though there was something much sweeter in his actions. You swore you were getting whiplash.

Though he had been significantly kinder to you, you had held your ground, unrelenting in your declaration. Part of you was terrified that if you gave in and became comfortable, he’d suddenly return back to the yelling, the punishments, and the overworking. Part of you also didn’t want to face reality— your feelings were unreciprocated, and they would only serve to bring you a world of heartache and sadness.

Your cold shoulder towards him was nothing compared to the way he had treated you. Yours mainly consisted of avoiding him, and when that wasn’t an option and you had to interact with him, you kept it civil and short. Your heart would ache, but you knew it was for the best. It helped that Jean would offer approving smiles and words of encouragement, even going as far as to smirk when you had ignored the Captain.

Levi, meanwhile, had frowned when he noticed that you ignored him. Again.

In all honesty, he did deserve it, but that didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt like a bitch. He grew irked at your display. Levi hoped you would understand that him kissing your head and showing affection towards you was his grand confession of love. You knew he was shit with words, and he hoped that that would be enough.

He was sadly fucking mistaken.

His attention had been on you the whole mission. Even when the scouts had to dismount from the horses to use the ODM gear through the trees, he had somehow managed to keep a watchful eye on you. You were graceful as ever as you flew through the trees, though his observing gaze noticed that your reaction time was noticeably slower than normal. He had also noticed the dark circles under your usually bright eyes, and he grew worried upon noticing your overall state.

Levi, himself, wasn’t faring much better. He was getting virtually no sleep, running completely on caffeine, adrenaline, and pure will, yet he still made sure he was in excellent shape when it came to these missions— humanity was resting on his shoulders, after all.

The firing of a flare gun in the distance indicated that the group would be encountering titans— a lot of titans— from the left. The soldiers prepared, all eyes focused on the left. You had conveniently taken up the right-most end of the formation, and your attention had also been on the left, your blades held tightly in your hands.

It was only by chance that Levi decided to glance down at you as he soared above you in the middle of the formation. Your eyes met once again, and Levi’s heart lurched at the beautiful sight, when movement behind you immediately caught his attention. A large abnormal with the ability to jump from tree to tree had suddenly appeared and made an attempt to grab you. Your attention had been solely on Levi, so you hadn’t noticed, especially over the roar of the wind in your ears.

Levi’s eyes widened, and he yelled out your name. The rich baritone of his deep voice reached your ears, and you turned slightly behind you, yet you reacted too slowly. Your body jerked backwards, flying so far from the group. You flew through the air at such a great speed that it took you by surprise when you slammed against a tree as the wires of your ODM gear grew tangled. The abnormal had missed you— barely. Your head slammed against the tree and you felt the wind knocked out of your body at the impact.

You whimpered at the hell of a hospital stay you’d have to face after this.

The abnormal almost seemed to be grinning wider upon realizing that it had successfully subdued you. You attempted to quickly stand up, though your body yelled in agony at the movement. Willing yourself to fight back, you shakily stood up, tightly gripping your blades that had miraculously not fallen to the ground throughout the struggle. You winced at the searing pain that shot through your head, yet you clenched your teeth in determination. Realizing that your gear was broken and therefore useless, you quickly discarded yourself of it, and felt some of the tension in your body alleviate now that you were significantly lighter.

“The hell is she doing?” Jean yelled incredulously from his spot next to Levi, and the other members of the group looked on in shock as they all attempted to make it to you in time.

“She’s fighting back,” Levi spoke through gritted teeth, his worry for you eating him alive. His eyebrows were furrowed in stress and anxiety, and he was now soaring impossibly fast through the trees in order to reach you.

Stupid brat. Stupid, resilient, little brat.

“Attagirl!” Oluo and Eld cheered, and Petra shoved them, warning them to stop their blatant ogling in the middle of a dangerous mission. They skillfully dodged her attack, grinning at their adept use of the ODM gear.

A noise towards the side caught their attention, and the group realized the titans they had been anticipating were now in sight. Levi coolly assessed the shitty situation, before commanding that most of the soldiers take care of the titans, while Levi, his squad, and some of the 104th’s cadets would assist you. The group split up, and Levi turned his attention back to you, his heart thumping against his chest.

As the titan made a move to grab you, you exhaled quickly to focus before skillfully jumping onto its elongated arm and running quickly towards its nape. You were defying gravity as you gained speed the higher you went. The titan wasn’t stupid, and it began to grab you with its other arm, yet you anticipated its move. You lithely dodged it, executing a quick front flip as you narrowly escaped its grasp once again.

This was it!

You saw your opening. You leaped forward and pushed your feet against its shoulder as hard as you could, soaring high up in the air above the titan. Muscle memory served you well, and you thought back to the training circuit that had mimicked a situation almost exactly like this one. You gracefully began to spin yourself faster and faster, your cape billowing behind you as you finally readied your blades for the final blow. You yelled out, as your head pain worsened. As a result, your maneuver faltered slightly, almost imperceptible to the human eye. The titan noticed.

It lashed a large hand out again, attempting to grab you, but it accidentally slapped your body away. You cried out in pain, and you flew in the direction of your friends, hurtling towards the ground. You were falling so fast, and you felt yourself grow dizzy from being chucked around so much in the last five minutes.

Eren yelled out your name, a whimper stuck in his throat at the sight of your almost lifeless body spiraling downwards. Jean’s eyes widened, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to make it in time.

Levi’s heart stopped upon witnessing the titan slap your body with so much force. You were plummeting towards the ground at an impossible speed, and he didn’t even think twice before withdrawing his ODM gear’s hooks and diving towards you within the blink of an eye. His cape flew behind him, and a determined glint had overtaken his angry features.

You had been bordering between consciousness and unconsciousness, yet the sight above you had been so clear that it almost felt as if everything was moving in slow motion. Your long hair flew around you, creating a curtain around your face, as you looked up at Levi. He had dived towards you, his jaw so tightly clenched. His muscular long arm began reaching out to you. The ground was quickly approaching, and you felt a sense of serenity at the sight of your Captain, despite your confusion and the severity of this situation.

“Levi,” you mumbled, smiling softly.

His face dropped upon seeing the calm expression on your face, and he willed himself to go faster, a number of expletive curses ringing through his head.

That damn titan. Did it know how small you were? How precious you were?

He spun himself slightly to gain momentum, and he saw you were just within reach. Levi confidently stretched his strong arm out even more, managing to wrap his hand around your arm. He swiftly pulled you into his chest, one arm wrapping around your waist, while the other hand cradled your head protectively against his broad chest. He swiftly flipped himself around to face his body upwards, further ensuring he’d take the majority of the blow in case you two ended up hitting the ground, and shot both of his ODM gear’s hooks into a nearby tree, propelling both of you away from the ground and towards the high branch. You fleetingly realized how familiar this position felt.

Once Levi safely landed, he kneeled, and supported your body against his thigh as he continued to hold you in his arms. He quickly looked over his shoulder, and could make out the sight of the titan falling to the ground. All the members of his squad seemed alive and well, so he turned his attention back to you. His eyes quickly darted over your face, desperately searching for any obvious injuries.

Your eyes fluttered open at the feeling of Levi running his hands through your hair and over your cheeks. The Levi in front of you was leagues different from the cool and composed one you had come to know. He had a frantic look in his eyes, his jaw clenched tightly, as he desperately peered down at you.

“Le… Levi?” You mumbled, your voice still a little hoarse from your recent infirmary stay.

“You are so precious to me, you hear me?” He lowly spoke, panic and anger and a whole plethora of emotions coloring his normally deadpan voice.

Your jaw fell open and you were almost positive you were suffering from a mean concussion, and this was a hallucination. “Wha—”

“You’re a fucking brat— an incredibly frustrating, resilient little brat— but you’re mine.”

You dazedly looked up at him, and you realized how close his face was to yours. His muscular chest was heaving up and down, and a small droplet of sweat dripped down from his hairline. Levi’s handsome features held nothing but adoration for you, and in that moment nothing could bring you down from the high you were experiencing. You felt his warm hands cup your cheek once more, a habit he seemed to be fond of.

“You want a fucking declaration of love? Here it is— if anything happens to you, I swear I’ll kill every titan on this piece of shit planet,” he spoke, surprisingly unbothered with how vulnerable he was being with you. He moved closer to you, his forehead nearly resting on your own. “I don’t give a fuck if you hate me or not. You’re mine, and I’m yours. And that’s all there is to it.”

Your hand creeped up to grasp the wrist of the hand that had been caressing your face, and you tightened your fingers around it. He froze, momentarily wondering if you were rejecting his confession, and he internally groaned at the thought.

There’d be no coming back from this one.

“You’re mine?” You shakily asked, a gloriously beautiful smile slowly gracing your features.

“That’s what I said,” he mumbled, attempting to conceal how lovestruck he felt at your smile.

“After… after we get home and I get some medical attention, you’re going to have to kiss me, alright? I’m—”

You were cut off by his lips pressing against your own. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you relished in the soft feeling of his lips molding against yours. You felt an indescribable warmth erupt in your chest, and you whimpered against Levi’s lips. His kiss was soft and warm, a huge contrast to the Levi from this past month. He pulled away just as quickly as he had bent down.

“One for the road,” he simply explained, glancing down at you. He internally smirked at the pretty blush coloring your cheeks— he was always fond of the sight.

▲▼▲

“You’re not serious.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

You stifled your giggles at Levi’s straight face. Your expression still showed your disbelief at what he had just told you.

“I’m not an idiot, Levi, I know how some people look at me,” you laughed, rolling your eyes playfully.

“Even the Commander?”

“Oh, I’m working my way up through the ranks right now, can’t you tell?” You teased, gesturing down to your intertwined bodies, as you both faced each other in his warm bed.

“You’re funny, brat,” he deadpanned, no heat and all fondness as he affectionately pinched your cheeks.

You snuggled deeper into his chest, savoring the warmth that you were enveloped in. You were wearing his shirt— still warm and smelling strongly of him— and you inhaled softly as your face pressed deeper into his chest. Somehow, the slight aftermath of your headache from the recent expedition began to dull slightly.

“I’m sorry again,” Levi murmured, softly cradling your head against his chest.

“Really? I couldn’t tell the first five hundred times you said so,” you teased, looking up at him. Your breath hitched at the sight of his face angled down towards you, dark wisps of hair falling over his eyes and structured face. Levi was so painfully handsome, you could feel your heart flutter.

His eyes were intense, and his guilt continued to stir within his stomach. Seemingly able to read his mind, you pressed a chaste kiss to his warm chest.

“Idiot,” you mumbled, “I really wouldn’t care if the King himself came up to me and proposed, and you know exactly why.”

“Humor me.”

“Terrifying guy, goes by the name of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier?”

He chuckled lowly, the deepness of his voice vibrating through his chest, and your insides turned to mush. Feeling relieved at successfully pulling Levi out of his little hole of guilt, you yawned softly. Your bruised ribs still ached at times, yet you ignored it this time to cuddle deeper into Levi, who was also on the verge of sleep.

He was sleepily looking down at you, observing your attempts to get comfortable in his embrace, and he softly smiled to himself. His muscular arms tightened around you, one of his hands coming to rest on the soft curve of your hip. He relished in the fact that sleep would be coming easily to him with you here. Levi had surprised himself with how easily he was able to show his affections toward you, and he chalked it up to that being further proof that you really were the only one for him.

He felt a warmth come from the sweet pang in his chest, and it spread throughout his entire body. Levi had learned to associate that feeling with you.

His eyes closed silently, and you pressed one last kiss to his chest.

“Precious,” he mumbled, “Precious little brat.”

▲▼▲

#levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #attack on titan #attack on titan fic #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin #levi aot #levi fanfiction #aot fanfiction #aot #request #jean kirschtien #jean kirstein x reader

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mallowstep · 3 years ago

Note

Twanypelt just bitching about Misty's comment the entire day and a half after Misty made it, until Blackstar is like. "Mistyfoot got a fucking point and you know it, so shut the fuck up." Twanypelt seethes.

But yes, Oakheart Reedwhisker clone! Riverclan just...loses their collective minds when he's born. Oakheart was a very much beloved honorable warrior, and Reedkit looking like him brings back some much needed memories of honor and pride. Like, Mistyfoot, Feathertail, Stonefur, and Storm are the only ones who actually chastise him/punish him when he does something wrong.

The other cats? Reedkit walks right over them, and Hawkpaw, Mothpaw, and Frogpaw kinda egg him on at times. They can't help it, they find it hilarious that Reedkit can get Heavystep or Leopardstar or Mudfur to *nearly* let him out of camp, until Misty, or Feather, or Stone, or Storm catches the older cats crumbling willpower. Even Blackclaw is different around him. He still hates kids, but he doesn't snap at Reedkit. Reedkit still has nothing to do with him, however.

("That kit has some sense in his head." Blackclaw remarks, watching Reedkit bat at a passing dragonfly. "Maybe he'll be half the warrior Oakheart was."

"He'll be better," Leopardstar pronounces, beaming at the kit. "Oakheart was a great warrior. Reedkit will be one too.")

y'all are Killing me lately, you know that? god. ilysm.

yesss...okay i already hc that shadowclan is pissed about tigerkit's name and like -- yeah. they're extra pissed here. a lil too tired to dig thru allegiances n also my back hurts but. russetfur? maybe? she's probably like "hey tawnypelt what the fuck" first.

and then blackstar -- who in the misty au has a somewhat parental relationship to tawnypelt -- is like "hey kiddo maybe don't?"

tawnypelt: counterpoint i've already named them and i'll kick the ass of anyone who tells me to change it

rowanclaw: i love u babe ur doing amazing sweetie

and that's how tigerkit keeps his name.

and yeah!!! oakheart was a Rock of riverclan for a long time. he was Charismatic. he yelled at his brother when crookedstar was being stupid. kits and apprentices loved him. warriors respected him. his kids were fantastic. and--

when reedkit is born, in this dark, reddish brown with stripes on his legs and tail, everyone knows instantly, "oh, he looks like oakheart."

and while tnp allegiances are a mess i don't feel like sorting out atm, reedkit is definitely well spoiled by riverclan. even if he didn't look like oakheart -- everyone is really happy for mistyfoot. but he does look like oakheart and like.

it's certainly crossed riverclan's mind that if oakheart had lived, tigerclan never would have happened. that oakstar never would have agreed to work with tigerstar. they're quiet about it, of course. it would only hurt everyone to say it out loud. but that doesn't mean they don't think it.

and so yeah. he's definitely well-loved and spoiled by the older cats. which is pretty much everyone. shadepelt, feathertail, and stormheart (as well as frogpaw, mothpaw, and hawkpaw) are the only ones immune to his oakheart charms.

mistyfoot and stonefur are also immune, but they actively choose to spoil him anyway. and also like. discipline appropriately. kits need Boundaries and Rules. riverclan in general believes that like. kits need clear boundaries and rules, with which they can then relax in. which makes sense: their camp is literally a clearly marked boundary within which kits can play and be safe in.

but like. oh man. as far as lakeshine, sunfish, mudfur, skyheart, etc., are concerned? reedkti can do no wrong.

and mothpaw, hawkpaw, and frogpaw 100% encourage it. for One they find it very fun to no longer be the young kit that feathertail is grooming because "you cannot look like you've been dragged through the mud by a badger, reedkit." and -- he's like. in that weird place where.

growing up, someone would be like, "oh yeah, XYZ had a baby and now i have a baby aunt you want to see a picture?" and like. that thing. reedkit is mistyfoot's kit and feathertail is mistyfoot's...kit? and that means ??? but it's still funny. they see him as a little brother.

anyway, i derailed myself, they also adore him. he's cute, and they find it hilarious to see what he can almost get away with. because they were raised in a Very tense time, right? like. feathertail was Very Protective very like Hell you are sneaking out of camp no sir. back in the nursery with you.

and reedkit is born into a really good time for riverclan. so it's -- kind of like. he's going to get into all the trouble we couldn't. but then he doesn't get into trouble which makes the whole thing even more fun and mistyfoot is shedding whiskers trying to get riverclan to please just say No to him.

and yeah! mistyfoot is the biggest Blackclaw you are Banned from the nursery. and also the nursery's surrounding territory. maybe just -- the whole side of camp the nursery is on.

but blackclaw...i dunno. he looks at reedkit and -- he feels guilty about what happened in a way he can't sublimate to anger. the only person to be angry at is himself. so he definitely has a soft spot for reedkit, even if reedkit never finds out.

and yeah! yeah. reedkit. he's well-loved. sometimes he and feathertail wait together for mistyfoot to get back from patrol and it makes her laugh because they have the same "i missed you so much i know you were only gone for an hour but it was the longest hour of my life" expression.

#feathertail sees herself as reedkit's older sister for sure #she might babysit for him a lot but #she doesn't raise him #so they have a very sibling dynamic #which yes means #feathertail's kits have a sibling dynamic with her sibling #but hey #families are complicated #ask #anon #reed au #reed oak au #maybe?#i'll think about it #and then tag everything when #i find a good tag #mine

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fellhellion · 4 years ago

Note

can you make a rec list of your favorite fe3h fics? if that's alright?

OF COURSE I WOULD LOVE TO <3 always happy to give my fave works a shoutout <33333

Though mind u this is going to be a LOT so ill pop them under a cut

from the heart in exile

TLDR: platonic hubert edelgard fic that haunts me. It’s extremely good with really well written character voices and focuses on these two characters trying to find out who they are beyond the war with their friends refusing to leave them behind

Summary:

You can’t speak just yet to whether time—and age? experience? not that war or rulership have given you much of the latter, at least in the area of gardening—has made your thumbs any less brown, but the house in the Oghma Mountains is surrounded by so many growing things it hardly seems to matter. It sits at the edge of a forest, on the gentle lower slopes, and the people in the nearest town had all smiled to speak of it when they pointed the way for Hubert, the day you arrived. A number of them were old enough to remember what it had been like, years ago, in the warm and golden before, and to insist that it had not changed in the ways that mattered. It was still full of light. The air still smelled green.

In which Edelgard keeps a garden, Hubert learns to fly, and those they leave behind refuse to be left behind.

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Watchtower

TLDR: platonic fic and amazing sylvain character study. Like genuinely one of the best i’ve ever read. If you’re someone who really wanted a deeper exploration of Sylvain’s feelings about Dimitri this fic is for u.

Summary:

When Sylvain is six and a half and climbs to the top of a tower with no one’s hand in his, he realizes that each and every one of the people he loves has been born as a gift to something else. Dimitri was born for Faerghus, and Felix was born for Dimitri. Glenn was born for the royal family, and Ingrid was born for Galatea and for Glenn. He realizes, too, that what they’re for decides their future. Dimitri will lead them into a better world. Felix will guide his path, and Glenn will protect his life, and Ingrid will bind her future to theirs.

And Sylvain, who was born for the border, will stand in a watchtower. He will see the enemy before it comes, and he will keep Dimitri and Felix and Ingrid and Glenn safe.

Dimitri reappears after five years. Sylvain knows it's his role to fix the mess they're in, but he doesn't know how.

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little light

TLDR: really good exploration of flayn and seteth’s relationship (+ with his wife and flayn’s mother) pre canon (also post canon if i remember right) just a really good if heartbreaking family fic

Summary:

"She is beautiful, and she is perfect. It is foolish to say so, because the goddess herself says perfect beings cannot exist - but Cichol knows now she must have been wrong, because his daughter is perfect. They name her Cethleann. In the old tongue, it means 'light.'"

Cichol, Cethleann, what they lost, and who they became.

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conjure the wind, ease my mind

TLDR: this author in general writes FANTASTIC work so pls check out their whole repertoire. a platonic fic between holst and claude w an exploration of claude’s past that’s just so good....found brotherhood i am WEEPING

Summary:

“I’d like to know what’s wrong. I’d like to help if I can.”

Calculating green eyes lock onto Holst’s own, but this time they’re laced with something a little bit like resignation

Many people call Duke Riegan a liar, but Holst feels like he knows the young man a bit better than that. To call him a liar is wrong, you see, because all Claude has ever really done is master the art of giving up as little of the truth as possible. He keeps truth close, treats it like a valuable commodity.

“I have three brothers,” he says. “Half-brothers.”

***

Claude won’t spar with Holst and Holst wants to know why.

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my fellow passerine

TLDR: same author as before and just...god this fic is so good. a platonic exploration of the relationship between Claude and Cyril. This fic has it all: found brotherhood, worldbuilding about Almyra, Claude character study, CYRIL character study. it’s just fantastic

Summary:

Then the Alliance delegation shows up, and their offering strolls through the gates of the monastery like he already owns the place.

A reminder, for those who need it: Cyril is not an idiot. He has good eyes and he uses them.

An observation, for those who want it: The Golden Deer house leader is Almyran.

Cyril knows a lot more than he lets on, Claude is far less covert than he thinks he is, and messing with the guy your parents told you was a possibly-unkillable demon-prince isn’t usually supposed to earn you a lasting friendship but hey… life is already pretty damn weird.

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Autotomy

TLDR: god this ferdibert fic just fucking...destroys me. i cannot get through it without crying at least twice and usually more. it’s basically a CF canon divergence with a heavy HEAVY exploration of ferdinand and hubert’s perspectives towards usefulness and how abelist thinking affects that in their efforts to find Shambala after Ferdinand loses his sight from one of Hubert’s experimental spells. All while falling in love. this fic is VERY fucking heavy, please mind the tags, it’s amazing but it’s subject matter is something you need to be very aware of. Also i would highly reccomend reading the prequel to this fic as it provides some critical context to Hubert’s actions that you don’t get through Ferdinand’s flawed pov. Basically this author is a master of character perspective.

Summary:

Ferdinand von Aegir's war record ends in 1182. The war does not.

Or, blind man's bluff.

---------------------------------------------

Coming of Age

TLDR: same author as before and god...just my FAVOURITE ferdinand character study. Takes place within the period Byleth is away. I don’t want to spoil anything but it’s incredible. Mines the fantastic character drama hook between Edelgard and Ferdinand that canon DIDNT rip

Summary:

Ferdinand was a general. In theory. Edelgard had promised him continued command of his battalion, and a general needed a certain measure of wealth to supply his horses, his servants, his armor and rations and lodgings and, she’d promised.

But his father sat rotting in a cell, or worse, and it could be nothing more than a fable they thought him simple enough to believe. What did promises matter?

When the house of Aegir collapses around him, Ferdinand struggles to forge a path forward. He quickly discovers he can't manage it alone -- and neither, perhaps, can Edelgard.

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Another Life

TLDR: same author AGAIN (can u tell theyre my favourite fjsdhfk). Ferdibert fic, a man loving his partner and trying to figure out the best way to support them as they silently wrestle with questions about their gender identity is something that can be so PERSONAL and make u CRY god. also dark flier hubert my beloved.

Summary:

Ferdinand notices things. He cannot say what he notices, precisely, because he has no one to ask, and if he were to ask Hubert it would damn well result in every questioned moment up and vanishing forever behind a new wall of prickly austerity. Ferdinand cannot risk that. The things that he notices stick in his chest, and he thinks only, but.

Hubert wrestles with unasked questions; Ferdinand wrestles with a pegasus.

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Beneath the Sheets of Paper Lies My Truth

TLDR: Dimilix fic in my FAVOURITE fucking format of secondary in game historical sources exploring their relationship in retrospective.

Summary:

It was said that Duke Fraldarius’s grief at King Dimitri’s death was more potent than even the queen’s—but said by whom, and how, and why?

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A Fair Day’s Work

TLDR: Post CF Canon ferdibert where Hubert and Ferdinand’s overworked aides desperately try to get them together so they’ll be too busy being uhhhh AMOUROUS to give them so much work. Very much a romantic comedy with very fun OCs as our protags.

Summary:

“I may have some coffee in the place for you,” said Prime Minister Aegir. “Let me show you how much better I have become at brewing it to your taste.”

“If you insist,” said Minister Vestra but he sounded pleased. To Delarivier, who had literally made it her profession to attune herself to his tone (usually ranging from sort-of-murder-y to extremely-murder-y), Minister Vestra sounded very pleased indeed.

Ferdinand and Hubert's long-suffering aides figure out a way to work fewer hours.

----------------------------------------

Roost

TLDR: Dimilix post AM Canon with some pre canon moments. Basically an exploration of the complexity of their relationship with bird symbolism and extra Holy Kingdom lore. Gifting ur lover a vulture is something that can be so personal fksdhfsjkd

Summary:

Dimitri makes an affirmative noise. Then he takes a breath, voice leveling out into what Felix had long ago dubbed his 'future king voice', all steady explanation: “Long ago, the saying fledged right along with the nobles' and royal family's love of hawking, and it has remained a common phrase from one generation to the next. As adviser to the king, the duke is meant to be regal and strong, even deadly when required, from his place at the king's side. To always act as the most piercing, watchful eyes over the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus and her sovereign."

He looks over to Felix as soon as his mouth snaps shut on the final word, as always seeking approval on his recitations.

Felix tilts his head, trying to look unimpressed. “I like eagles.”

A hand automatically comes up to cover the lower half of Dimitri's face, muffling the inarticulate sound of a snort of amusement. “That is good, since you are to be mine.”

***

They say an eagle watches over Fhirdiad.

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A faint and faraway sound

TLDR: Ferdibert with an excellent Hubert centric character study....just so good...makes me warm and fuzzy...the mutual pining and ROMANCE of it all

Summary:

Hubert learns to be a person, with a lot of help and complication along the way.

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In golden light

TLDR: A really REALLY good ferdibert fic with ferdinand centric pov that focuses on him reflecting on his life as he prepares the Aegir house to become a boarding school. Ferdinand sibling exploration is ABOUND here and it’s great

Summary:

When his family's summer home at Lake Aegir is set to be converted to a boarding academy, Ferdinand pays it one last visit and contemplates his complicated relationship with family, love, and legacy.

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one three four three four zero

TLDR: the fic that actually got me into dimilix. VERY heavy character study and you NEED to mind both the general fic tags and the content warnings the author lists for each chapter but it’s incredible. Takes a very familiar trope and just. slams you in the face with over 60k words of amazing character study.

Summary:

“How are you going to get the One-Eyed Demon of Garreg Mach, the Boar Prince of Faerghus, smuggled past Dukedom soldiers? What plan could you possibly have to get a creature that incapable of even pretending it isn’t a bloodthirsty beast into Dominic without getting caught?”

The Professor gives him one of their steady, unreadable stares. They definitely do not and could not possibly have answered him, “You’re going to pretend to be married to him.”

or, How to Pretend to be Married When One of You Can't Stop Hallucinating and the Other One Uses Hostility to Cope

#Anonymous #ask games #anon #this is so long SORRY LMAO

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nejihoe · 4 years ago

Text

you ask them to teach you volleyball

feat. morisuke y. daishou s. bokuto k.

a/n : well i played volleyball in gym and after realising how much i suck at volleyball i got inspired<3

━━ YAKU MORISUKE

volleyball is so important to him so when you approach him his heart goes 💓

lmao he'd definitely call you out for not paying attention 😶

like he'd just transform into a completely different person when playing volleyball and you'd go 😍

if he catches you tho he'd prolly throw a ball @ ur head, let's be real there's a reason he's called demon senpai 👹✋

lev would crash your lessons to practice his recieves bc kuroo would be like you gonna get benched son if u don't improve 🤡

yaku would be so mad @ this, and like lev's little comments he wouldn't hesitate to drop kick a bitch 😤👊

" yakkun ! this is so boooring " a voice complains, your boyfriend's composure twitching in irritation. " without the fundamentals your natural talent is useless " he comments, long exasperated sigh let out from his parted lips " no more excuses get back to practice or i swear inuoka will replace you ". lev's amused glance doing nothing to smooth the situation. " wow, you're almost tall enough to be taken seriously ", embers lighting in yaku's eyes. foot connecting with the others leg, tall boy wincing in pain. " was that necessary ? " you question, concern etching your features. " yes "

okay don't tell yaku but u couldn't help giggle @ his first year antics 😳 👉👈

yaku would prolly be like if u learn how to do this properly ill give u a kith 😙😙

lolz lev would completely cockblock u and ask for a kith as well when his recieves don't 💯% suck

lmao cue the poor bb on the floor in pain )):

u loved the first year so u definitely helped him behind your boyfies back

he'd definitely show off to lev how you're much better receiver than he could ever be 💀

all lies- 🐸 mostly 🐸 you never noticed so 🐸

f in the chat for the russian lionychovka beanpole 😔

━━ DAISHOU SUGURU

chest would be puffed out in pride

babies just a big volleynerd pls 🥺

but on the outside he's like : 😏

" you've come to the right guy, ur coming to the guy who whipped nekomas ass " 😌

" didn't you loose " 😶

" ... " 🤡

" fuck technicalities " ‼️‼️

him tryin to show off likes 💪 but like boi fails terribly bc as soon as he stops talking his eyes go like 🤩

his cool bad boy demeanor goes 📉

he goes over all these strategies to shake off blockers and the other positions and ur lowkey just ❓❓❓

" see these are where the middle blockers are at their prime, one wrong move and ... " daishou explains, board with diagrams layed out in front of you. hues filled with dreamy sparkles, passion pouring out of sentences. choosing to ramble on, voice swaying you into a trance. surroundings fading away, words blurring into a disarray in your mind. " hmm, y/n ? " warm breath dancing upon your ear. smirk spreading across his features " you paying attention ? ". small gap left between you and the chair, startling noise causing you to jump up in surprise.

" what did i just explain "

" how much u love me ? " 🥰🙏

" ... the importance of pinch servers "

okay after that you actually tried to pay attention 😹

jsgshdjdkdjdr tbh you actually understood all the theory pretty well 🧠💡

snake 🐍 boi was proud of his teachings

um the executing of it definitely needed some work 😀

jsgdhsjjdjdjdj the nohebi team offered to help but he was like no they are my student, the love of my life, go away ♥️

ne wayz it went pretty well all things considered- i mean after he went on a one hour rant about how kuroo was an untalented asshole and how nekoma somehow cheated and nohebi deserved to win ‼️‼️✋‼️‼️

yeah uhm let's just say you both agreed never to bring up that topic again and went to get onigiri✨😃✨

━━ BOKUTO KOTAROU

first thing he does it call akaashi no 🧢

" akaashi ! yn asked me to help her volleyball ! how do i teach volleyball ! how do you volleyball !? please help ! " 😭🙏

" bokuto san please calm down, yn wouldn't have asked you to teach them if they didn't believe you had the ability " 😐

" that's right ! yn trusted me ! because i am amazing and the best teacher ever ! " 😌💪

trust akaashi to always get him out of a stump 🥰

so uhm yes let's be honest he's better @ controlling bokuto than you could ever be 💀

he'd like set to bokuto first and he would do one of his killer spikes while u failed @ blocking 🤐

yeah when it was your turn you actually did pretty well for a beginner 😌✋

see and then a sort of problem arises where bokuto decided to show off a bit too much and im- ✨ y e a h ✨

akaashi positions himself, postures elegantly to set the ball. arcing throughout mid air, bokuto plunging upwards. muscles rippling, palm bracing to make contact with the rough texture of the ball. tremendous buildup, only to be deflated as the palm misses due to an early jump. bokutos frown growing deeper, knowing orbs drooping as a knowing look glazes over his hues. " bokuto san ... ? " akaashis cautious voice breaking the silence, confused look emitted from your expression. japan's number 5 ace moping in the corner of the room. " shouldn't we- ? " you ask, body posture leaning towards the figure in the corner. " he'll be fine, bokuto san tends to get a bit moody when things do not go the way he has planned- ". " i can hear you ! " pouty voice bouncing around the gym walls.

really took a big hit to babie bo's confidence 🤧

u hit a turning point when konoha entered

" guess he's in his emo mode again, ig i have to join you now " 🙂‼️

" okay ! " 🥰

bokuto wouldn't stand for it

would literally run in && push konoha away 🤡

akaashi : relieved, konoha : pissed, you : confused 😬

" hey ! hey ! hey ! let's go ! ill beat konoha and akaashi easy " 😤

so a two on two was formed ✨✨

yall actually surprisingly tied ❓❓❓

yes he ran into ur arms for a kiss and u almost collapsed but u thought it was adorable 🥺🥺🥺

akaashi definitely scolded him for it after and checked u had no injuries 🚶‍♀️

#[ 🏐 ] — haikyuu works #[ 🦋 ] — headcannons #haikyuu headcannons #yaku morisuke x reader #daishou suguru x reader #bokuto kotarou x reader

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thisdreamplace · 3 years ago

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i would like to know your opinion on the eiypo. specifically when it comes to people being abusive, or racist, etc. i see a lot of times some coaches will blame people who naturally are the victims of that & that they created that. personally it bugs me. or say you live in a toxic household, i see how the reflection could be you giving your anger away, but what if you stay calm, & just don’t allow people to affect you? of course the others are still acting those toxic ways, but if you say you’re a victim of that stuff, would you consider that the victimizing that people use when you want someone to act the way you want them too? through manifestation. like i see people say things like abusive people are only that way because you assume it. i understand the whole concept of attracting partners who are abusive cuz u feel you deserve that, & that is something that a person can change so they can attract better & not settle. but what about children? like a child who went through that, couldn’t it just be cuz they were young, it’s not there fault. but growing older they need to take responsibility on there own needs, & surround themselves with more positive people or people that they vibe with better? i hope this made sense, it’s something on my mind, & i’d like to know ur opinion if that’s okay:)

Everyone is you pushed out is really a sensitive concept for reasons such as you explained. It can be heavy. So I will try my best to explain it all.

So right off that bat, eiypo is not a blame game. It's not a "this is all your fault" type of approach. I think people who greatly misunderstand the law often see it that way, and it puts them off. But no, that is a huge misunderstanding. As within, so without. That's all it means. When you speak of "creation" in this way, you're doing so from a egotistical lens. You have to understand manifestation isn't special. It's natural and automatic. Most of the population isn't consciously creating their reality, it's happening automatically based off of their conception of self. So, no one is creating harmful scenarios through choice. It's happening automatically, based of their foundation which I'll explain more later. I think that's important to understand.

Another thing I want to say is you're seeing eiypo through a very law of attraction based understanding. And honestly, the law of attraction and eiypo don't really mix well, for the very reasons you're confused about. You talk about people being victims when they're choosing to be calm but still having to deal with abusive behavior. The mirror of life isn't surface level. The 3D isn't reflecting your actions, it's reflecting your core concept of self. Your core beliefs that live within you. So it doesn't matter if you're nice, quiet, and calm on the surface. If you think people can be abusive and you feel insecure or unsafe on a deeper level, well you may end up experiencing that type of undesirable circumstance. Did this person ask to experience that? No. This isn't about victim blaming and keeping that mindset isn't helpful for anyone. However, the 3D can only show you what lives within you. That's the way the mirror works.

And then you talk about people attracting certain types of people. Once again, that's a misunderstanding of eiypo and it's sounding very law of attraction based. You're not attracting any type of person. It all goes back to life being a mirror. When you hear someone say that "people show up how you assume so" it's a literal statement. So, the truth is, no one is this horrible type of person. Everyone, at their core, is love. What happens is, based off your self concept, you may manifest an unlovely version of a person. Is this person showing up abusive because that's just who they are? Nope. They're showing up that way because on some level, you assume that type of person exists and you believe that's a possibility for you to experience. The difference between what I'm saying and what you're saying is that, if you wanted that person to fully change, they would. If you went within yourself and decided "no, I am worthy. I only experience lovely versions of people. I am deserving, the people around me treat me with respect, etc etc etc" That person you once called abusive would change with you. They would become lovelier, nice, more caring, and respectful. They have no choice but to mirror your inner world. Because the more you choose love, the more you allow the illusion of fear based experiences to dissolve and you allow love to shine through. Because that's the real meaning of everyone is you pushed out. It's not a "you attract what you are." Instead, you experience what you are, within.

It's not about manipulation. You don't need to say a word to anyone. You change yourself within, a real change. And you know that since eiypo and this world is a mirror, everyone and everything in it has to reflect this change. It's a lot more deeper than just attracting certain types of people and that mindset allows you to keep avoiding full responsibility. You're not going to run from undesirable people, if you're choosing to keep believing undesirable people exist. You're always going to be met by who you are, as this world is a mirror. So why do that? Choose to believe in lovely things for yourself and for everyone.

When it comes to children, once again, it's not a blame game. Especially when it comes to children. How can anyone even think a child is choosing to manifest something undesirable? That's so weird to me. Most people don't even know the depths of manifesting, let alone a child knowing it. As a child, you're simply more subject to what is happening around you. Of course, no child knows any better. Through our childhood experiences, we begin to build our self concept which leads to the world we manifest automatically. That's all. Jen from I Am Love says that, when our Godself decided to come to this life, we already agreed to go through everything we experience. So therefore, once again, no one is at fault. It's not a blame game. We are put into these experiences at birth and eventually, the point is that we are meant to remember who we really are. We start dissolving all these illusions we thought were real and begin taking back our power. We dissolve this illusion of reality.

So to be clear, no one is purposefully choosing anything. Even we are ourselves pushed out. What happens is that, on a certain level, people believe bad things can happen and bad people exist. In that way, we become open to undesirable experiences. It can be that unspecific. It's not about seeking out more positive people that you vibe with. It's about understanding none of that is real anyway, behind every unlovely circumstance is love, and it's up to us to allow those unlovely illusions to dissolve. We do this by remembering who we truly are, God of our reality. Everyone is you pushed out, means ultimately, there is no separation between us and others. We are all one and connected. This is why people mirror us at all. Because ultimately, they are us.

So further, there's not even a point in wondering about other people and what they're manifesting or how. Because this world is a mirror of you anyway. You're going to be stuck in a trap of assuming and wondering about others, and you're never going to get a concise answer because it's all just mirroring you anyway. So focus on your own world. Focus on lifting yourself up and lifting up everyone around you. Make your world heaven on earth, because you have that ability. Rather than continuing to perpetuate undesirable experiences because you think people are separate from you. They aren't.

I hope this clarifies things for you and helps deepen your understanding of what eiypo really actually is. 💖

#eiypo

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reversecreek · 4 years ago

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lily for magda (thinking about figs feeling evil), tulip for cricket, marigold for ziggy, chrysanthemum for bradley, belladonna for nyla

lily : how does your muse view their mother ?

magda doesn’t know a lot abt her mum. she knows vague snippets n details bt they’re all very elusive. it’s kind of a tricky subject where her mum’s concerned bc when she was younger she’d come up w all these assumptions abt how her mum was n who she’d be if she were with her but the rational part of magda was like..... u don’t know any of this. ur literally making things up. it’s kind of hard for a kid to have that vital person missing from their life n to resist the urge to fill in the blanks with their own projections so the space feels less empty. it’s like having a tooth missing n ur tongue always going back to poke at the spot in ur gum. there’s a constant reminder of loss in that. magda knows her mum liked to sing bc her dad said once she’d always sing to her belly when she was pregnant. this is a lot of the reason why magda has always cared so much abt music bc she took this fact in her fist n grasped it tight n never let go n in a way grew parts of herself around it. it’s like............. i feel like her mum dying in childbirth gave her lots of issues when it comes to her identity n like. who she is n who she wants to be.......... bc of magda’s issues w her dad i feel like she got into this habit growing up of rly putting who her mum could have been on a pedestal n basing everything around that.... she’d be like I’m More Like Her (a belief which was only accelerated bc her dad would drunkenly say she looked so much like her) n cling onto that so she liked herself more bc the other option was her dad who she loves but he’s also an incredibly flawed person n they hv a complicated relationship...... i think as she’s gotten older she’s realised her mum cld very well have been that way too n putting people on pedestals isn’t the way to go about things but. idk. as a kid she was kind of obsessed w this idea of her n this idea that her mum being gone was the beginning n end of everything wrong in her life. for the most part now magda accepts she never knew her n sometimes even feels stupid for grieving her at all bc she never knew her to grieve in the first place but. there’s a tiny part of magda tht still hangs on to the comfort of what she could have had n it’s obvious by the fact she still keeps a photograph of her folded up in her pillow. she loves the mum she made up in her head n she wishes she got to meet her. there’s this sense tht maybe then she wouldn’t feel like this culmination of missing parts more than a person if she’d had that in her life. sighs n lks away holding my dyed black emo bang.....

tulip : how does your muse view people in general ?

cricket is like. the strangest little anomaly of a person FGHKSFGHSFKGH bc like. u would rly think that after everything he’s been thru he would just have this absolutely jaded view of people and life in general and i wouldn’t even......... blame him for it if he did like. i’d understand completely bc he’s experienced A Lot of bad stuff. n yet somehow he just.... idk. i think i wrote in a reply once this comparison of cricket n a cockroach in the sense that they have this incredibly reinforced exoskeleton n even if they’re stomped flat they can keep living n bounce back from it n that’s very him but it’s more specifically the hope inside him. he has this little candle lit that good things can still happen midst all of the terrible things n i genuinely can’t see it snuffing out at any point even tho sometimes he might want it to. sometimes i think he even gets into these frames of mind where it jst infuriates the fk out of him bc in his head he’s like why do u even think good shit can happen when u have sm overwhelming evidence to the contrary but then he’s also like. look u can dwell on the bad or u can notice the way the light falls thru the leaves in the trees and u can think to urself inside ur head as u listen to someone u love talking abt something that makes them happy ‘hey this feeling is nice n there’s a dozen others like it’. idk. against all odds he’s an optimist. he has tinnitus in his left ear n sometimes he pretends the ringing is angels trying to talk to him. he likes to search for the silver linings in things to make them bearable n that’s how he gets by. obviously he knows there’s evil in the world n that a lot of people can be shit bc he has firsthand experience w that but he also believes there are people to serve as the antithesis to that n he wants to focus on them bc like. why give bad stuff the time of day. not necessarily always a positive coping mechanism (if u bottle up bad feelings n thoughts they leak thru one way or another aka his overwhelming anxiety) but like.... i think there’s a lot of bravery in that n i respect him for it i won’t lie. he cld have become very bitter bt instead he’s like that quote that’s like 'the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it'. suddenly slaps his little anxious rump (supportive) (affectionate)

marigold : is your muse prone to jealousy ? how might they handle envious feelings ?

it’s hard to say w ziggy............... i feel like he doesn’t want to think he’s prone to jealousy bc he’s like i’m literally a god wdym i simply wld never give a fk bc i know i’m above all else................. but like. do u actually believe that ziggy. do u. FKGJHKSJGHFGSHFGKSHGKFHG. he’s good at convincing himself at least........... has me fooled too most of the time. bt. thinks abt this.............. i feel like he doesn’t tend to get jealous over ppl he hooks up w a lot of the time bt there’s definitely a few select ppl he might.......... n then he doesn’t rly know what that feeling is bc he’s so unused to feeling it so he’s like wtf why am i so fking pissed off over the thought of this person fking that person? like literally doesn’t even. connect the dots n make the logical conclusion bc it jst seems so bizarre n nonsensical to him. rly is awful at working out his own feelings like. he cld just suddenly explode one day n have to smash a bunch of shit in a junkyard n after his chest is heaving n he has all this broken stuff around him n he’s just like yo wtf was that man forreal lmfaoooooooooo..... like he just doesn’t even get how his own emotions work it’s tragic n it’s men for u. w anxious feelings he represses them a lot he doesn’t rly understand what they r or know how to recognise them........... i honestly feel like he has a lot of anxiety surrounding his mum esp w her dating n like some of the guys they’ve both had to deal w that she’s dated in the past.......... i doubt he processes that healthily or expresses it healthily either..... probably contributes to the tensions between him n his mum they hv a lot of underlying issues that come out in the form of bickering n petty disagreements...... probably a huge contributor to him acting out so terribly in high skl was just all this pent up worried energy with no means of making sense of itself or like. place to go. like shaking a coke bottle over n over n finally having to crack the lid n let it fizz on something. i also think he probably swallowed a lot of jealousy growing up whenever other kids had gd relationships w their fathers or parents in general probably ws kind of like lmfaooooo yo why don’t mine love me like that. in his head...... so ya. i think he copes w anxious feelings by acting out n also fucking if we’re being honest......... it helps him let off steam <3 king of clapping cheeks ig....

chrysanthemum : how does your muse express romantic love ? how do they feel about love as a concept ?

bradley is kind of hard to read romantically like from an outside perspective but slides on my thin rimmed spectacles n picks up my scalpel to delve right in to the nitty gritty of her brain... omg... that sounded... kind of scary actually but. it’s ok. basically settles in. bradley struggles to verbalise her feelings in this regard but also in a general sense honestly.... like she’s spent a lifetime having any vulnerable or negative feeling shut down....... her dad’s the type of personality where it’s like... u can’t win. even tho he’s narcissistic n thinks he’s a god if u compliment him or express affection he’ll act pleased but there’ll also be this register in his eyes where he thinks less of u for it. so this rly had a domino effect in bradley’s emotional expression in all grounds of life...... romance is probably the most frivolous concept to tony so bradley definitely internalised some of these views n wld feel stupid for ever taking anything seriously in that regard or rly investing herself..... she also just. idk. love has only ever left bite marks in bradley’s world so she’d kind of like ‘why wld i ever expose my tender spots n open myself up to someone just so they can sink their teeth in’. i will say tho that like. despite that she can in rare instances develop those feelings n it’s always like..... quite a struggle for her when she does. she doesn’t rly understand it or how to deal w it. she finds talking about it hard n she feels childish or weak in the eyes of whoever knows how she’s feeling. it takes a long time n a lot of work to earn it bt bradley in love is like. ur the only person on the planet who knows how gentle she can b. she’d literally like. touch the face of this one guy i wrote her being in love w when he was sad so gently it was shocking it ws like a love tht deep unlocked a whole other part of her she didn’t know existed. sex is a big part of her love expression jst like. a lot of it. so much. JHGSFKHGSFGKHFKGSHG let’s get it.......... she’s a ride or die n doesn’t do anything in halves. she has a nasty habit of pushing good things away n also wld probably do this to protect the other person bc her world is a never ending shit show with her father’s presence in every room even when he isn’t physically there. she wldn’t wna subject someone she loved to the danger of that bc she hates it enough herself so. idk. smiles w hand on hip. love isn’t something bradley thinks is on the menu fr her bc she’s only ever known it to be hard or mean n why bother trying when that’s the case. it feels like there’s always small print attached tht will hurt her in the end n nothing is free or genuine. very doomed outlook on love in general tbh.

belladonna : how does your muse respond to silence ? do they take comfort in soundlessness , or seek to fill the void with noise ?

nyla honestly doesn’t mind silence at all........ they always wake up rly early in the morning no matter what time they went to bed. it’s like someone programmed an oven timer into their brain n often when they wake up at 6am or something they’ll go on walks around irving tottering in their own little world which is quite a quiet experience in itself when the rest of the world’s asleep........... always off on impromptu adventures they came up w on the spot.......... sometimes they get lost in their own train of thought too so they just randomly fall silent bc they’re having a whole conversation w themselves inside their head or like. writing a whole children’s story abt an iguana in a trench coat floating in a hot air balloon smoking a little vintage pipe all the way to peru. honestly for every 1 thing nyla says there’s about 4987295749572592745 things they don’t say tht are x100 times stranger n more nonsensical they sort of let it all drift thru their head like an open sieve for the most part. having said tht i think in order to sleep at night they probably need some sort of white noise or smthn................. it’s handy living in a beach house bc they just leave the window open to let the ocean gush bt sometimes if they’ve snuck into like. mido’s bed fr the night or someone’s bed idk the sound of them breathing works too................. they used to always sleep w bob ross playing on loop n that was rly comforting to them esp bc he reminds them a lot of their dad w his calming voice n energy.............. sometimes they’d have taken smthn n they’d literally hallucinate it as their dad instead of bob ross n this happened so many times in a row fr a period of time tht when they finally watched it sober they were like wtf since when did they recast my dad in this show...... KJHFGSHFGKSHFKGH but also. frowns... bit sad considering.

#magda | memes #cricket | memes #ziggy | memes #bradley | memes #nyla | memes #death tw #grief tw #anxiety tw #fortyfivcs #drugs tw #abuse tw #i think thts all tws theyre like not covered in detail obviously bt still #i put under read more bc i wrote literal essays fr everything idk what happened to me....#also thank u fr the ask sexy :yum:

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inadaydream99 · 4 years ago

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Heyy~~ i hope ur doing well~ i was wondering if u could write sth abt Sangyeon from The Boyz reading their crush's diary since u said ur opening ur requests~ have a great day~

Hey! Thanks for the request 😊 Got really carried away with this, so it’s a lot longer than I intended it to be but I hope you enjoy!

A Diary and A Plan

———————————————————————

Sangyeon didn’t mean to blush everytime he made accidental eye contact with you, he didn’t mean to grow shy whenever you spoke to him, or feel all jittery inside when you brushed past him casually. But he did. And his crush on you had only grown since he stumbled upon your diary a few months back. His curiosity got the best of him that day and he cursed himself for not so accidentally reading your private thoughts ever since.

He was surprised to say the least, not once had he ever suspected your feelings towards him. He didn’t think he would ever have a chance with you. But even though he knew how you felt , he was still too shy to confess to you.

“Sangyeon!” The gentle waving of your hand in front of his face snaps him out of his daydream. Suddenly very aware that he had zoned out and that twelve pairs of eyes were now all focused on him, including yours.

“Sorry?” Is all he manages out, confusion written across his face from trying to register what he has missed.

“I asked you if you could pass the remote but you were off in your own world.” You chuckle, shooting him an amused smirk. Your tone is slightly mocking, a cheeky air surrounding you. Before he would have brushed it off as being playfull, just like any of the other guys would have done, but now he can’t help but notice the sparkle in your eye and the flirty glance you send him as you reach over him to take the remote from the table at his side.

His eyes dart around the room, relaxing a little when he realises that the attention is no longer on him, everyone else easing back into their own conversations. Trying his best to hide how flustered you made him, he let out the breath he was holding in and tried not to think too deeply about how your body was practically pressed against his. So caught up in his thoughts once again, he doesn’t get a chance to respond before you have retrieved what you had set out to get and made your way back over to sitting inbetween Younghoon and Changmin.

“What’s that smirk for, you look very pleased with yourself.” Changmin quietly questions, leaning into you a little in order to keep your conversation hushed. He was aware of your actions, knowing about your crush on Sangyeon for a while, he just can’t pass up an opportunity to tease you about it.

“I have no idea what you’re on about.” You play coy, lightly nudging him away with your elbow which makes him snicker, shaking his head at your responce.

You laugh under your breath, discretely casting a glance over to Sangyeon before settling into the sofa as everyone quiets down and Juyeon starts the movie.

“That was so not scary.” You scoff as Changmin boasts about how he enjoyed the movie. Of course it’s no secret he loves horror. You could hear him laughing throughout when everyone else was screaming and covering their eyes from all the jump scares. You had even resorted to burying your face into Yonghoon’s chest at one point.

“Just because you are deranged and immune to scary films.” You burst into laughter at Sangyeon’s sarcastic remark, watching the proud look on his face as you make eye contact with him.

Changmin rolls his eyes in responce, sliding a soda can across the kitchen counter to you before opening his own.

“You know I’m not gonna be able to sleep tonight.” You joke, though you do truly mean it. You aren’t the best when it comes to watching something scary, you’re more of a romcom kind of person.

“Well, my door is always open if you need some comfort.” Sangyeon winks, having a moment of confidence, before casually standing up and leaving the kitchen.

Throughout the film he couldn’t stop thinking about your flirting. He’d even noticed you kept glancing his way every so often, checking to see if he was paying you any attention. Of course he was, he’s completely mesmerised by you, but he’s gotten very good at hiding it. He’d come to the conclusion that he was gonna have a try at being more obvious with his flirting, testing the boundaries a little.

You turn to Changmin with a look of shock, mouth slightly agape as he stifles his laughter.

“Where did that come from!” Your wide eyes convey your surprise at Sangyeon’s forwardness. He wasn’t typically one to be so obvious with his flirting, especially making a comment at you like that. And you instantly become suspicious. Eyes narrowing in on Changmin seconds later.

“Don’t look at me! I haven’t said a word.” His hands raise in defence, sensing your accusation towards him.

“Well why else would he say something like that to me?” You sass.

“Maybe he read your diary.” You gasp in realisation. Although Changmin was joking he notices your shock, the cogs turning in his head until he reaches the same conclusion you have.

“He’s read your diary!” His voice is muffled by your hand reaching across the kitchen island and covering his mouth just in time.

“Shhh! We don’t know that for sure, he doesn’t even know I keep a dairy.” You reason, mostly trying to rationalise the idea yourself.

“I guess there’s only one way to find out.” A devious smirk consumes Changmin’s face which you find a little frightening.

“And what’s that?” You press for more, though you are unsure if you really want to find out what he’s planning.

“If you want to find out if he has read your diary then we need to catch him in the act.” Changmin deviously raises a brow. You honestly have no idea how he can manage to go from looking so cute and innocent to like a criminal mastermind in mere seconds.

“I’m listening.” Your unsure tone conveys your reluctance but Changmin leans in closer to inform you of his plan anyway.

“Can one of you do me a favour?” Changmin rushes into the living room looking a little stressed. Hyunjae and Sunwoo barely acknowledge him, both of them too engrossed in watching some video together.

“Sure, what do you need?” Sangyeon responds first, placing his phone down to give the younger his full attention.

“I need you to comfort (Y/N) for a second while I run to get a first aid kit?” Changmin’s guilty eyes make a flush of worry shoot through Sangyeon, believing his panicked state.

“Of course!” Sangyeon springs up from the sofa, heading towards the bathroom where he finds you holding your ankle.

“Woah what happened?” Your pain stricken eyes meet Sangyeon’s concerned ones, whincing when you make an attempt to move and let out a hiss in responce.

“Changmin bet me that I couldn’t beat him in a race and I twisted my ankle.” Your bottom lip quivers, acting as best as you can to make sure it’s believable you are hurt.

“Ok, well is there anything I can to do make you feel better?” He softly speaks, kneeling down next to you as you sit uncomfortably on the floor. You almost feel bad for tricking him like this as you watch him gently hold your hand in an attempt to provide some reassurance.

“Could you please get my phone, I left it in Changmin’s room.” You timidly look at Sangyeon through your lashes, feeling shy from his intense gaze.

You had set up your phone so it was placed next to your bag, positioning your diary at the very top so it couldn’t be missed. You’d even left it slightly open so some of your notes can be seen. If Sangyeon has really read your diary then this would be too hard for him to resist.

He silently nods, letting go of your hand as he stands up and leaves the room. You wait a few seconds before getting up and carefully following him to Changmin’s room.

Peaking around the corner your mouth falls wide when you see him staring at your diary. You can see the inner conflict on his face as he contemplates picking it up and when he does you feel your heart skip a beat.

“Is that my diary?” You act on impulse, catching Sangyeon off guard.

“(Y/N)! I didn’t mean to- it was just...” Sangyeon fumbles over excuses before falling silent, a defeated sigh escaping his lips as he places down your diary and gains enough courage to look at you directly.

“I’m really sorry, I just couldn’t resist.” He continues, a guilty look coulding his features as he awkwardly stands facing you.

“Is this the first time you’ve done this?” You softly speak, trying to keep calm on the outside although on the inside you are freaking out. If he has read your diary before then Changmin was right and it also means he knows about your feelings for him.

“Not exactly... though the first time was purely an anxident!” His eyes grow wide, shaking his head lightly. “That’s why I have been more forward with you lately, I’m guessing you were suspicious cause your ankle is suddenly completely fine again.” He chuckles, trying to create a more lighthearted atmosphere.

“Oh, yeah... it was Changmin’s idea.” You giggle, looking at your feet, suddenly feeling embarrassed. You only look up again when you feel his presence in front of you, his hand reaching out and carefully intertwining your fingers together.

“You know it’s sometimes freaky how quick he is with things like this.” He chuckles, his amused smirk awakening a flutter of nerves in your stomach. “But maybe it’s because he saw that we were both too scared to make a move.” You can feel his breath fan against your face, now only inches apart from each other.

“And you are very welcome.” The moment is disrupted by Changmin’s head poking around the corner, evidently listening to his plan unfold. You turn to face him briefly, rolling your eyes before he disappears again.

Unbeknownst to both you and Sangyeon this wasn’t even the whole plan. Changmin had been trying to get you to confess for months, he was even the one who initially set up your diary so Sangyeon would stumble across it and give it a read. And although he succeeded in getting him to read it, he still failed to get Sangyeon to confess.

“Would it be ok if I took you on a date sometime?” Sangyeon asked, his nervousness melting away when he sees a wide smile spread across your lips.

“I thought you’d never ask.” You nod, his smile making you feel all warm inside. And in that moment you feel glad that Sangyeon read your diary after all.

#the boyz oneshots #the boyz drabbles #the boyz fluff #the boyz requests #the boyz sangyeon #the boyz x reader #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop requests #kpop x reader #kpop oneshots #kpop drabbles #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines

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obxlife · 4 years ago

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Friendship for Dummies (Pogue Dynamic)

A/N: I can’t believe I’m writing again! Like I swear to god I haven’t written in like a month and idk I feel like this isn’t going to be top-notch but whatever. Also, thank you anon for requesting!

Pairing: None (Only Pogue dynamic)

Word Count: 3,487

Request: hi! I have a request if ur interested? I love your jiara comfort fic, especially how u included all the pogues. I was wondering if u could do a friendship pogue fic that sort of follows how the pogues have protected Kie over the years from when they first met to the present. idk if this makes sense but I love the friendship dynamic in comfort and how JJ was so protective so I would love to see that extend to the other pogues and just see them get all big brotherly anytime someone messes with Kie

Summary: Basically situations where Kie either gets in trouble or gets hurt and the Pogues stand up for her or protect her, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, some underage drinking, some weed (because, you know, JJ) and I think that is it! Oh, and some really harsh swearing towards Kie.

FRIENDSHIP FOR DUMMIES

Kiara had a knack for getting in trouble. Actually, her friends had a knack for getting her to tag along on their crazy adventures and get in trouble.

It all began before high school when Kie was in seventh grade and still adapting to her growing body. She knew she was different from the rest of the kids in her neighborhood, mainly because they mostly cared about the newest iPhone while the dark-skinned girl cared about the waves down at the beach. She had always had trouble forging friendships and was pretty much used to being alone. In fact, she was used to standing up for herself every time one of the stupid Kooks from the part of the island where she lived.

That was exactly what had been happening when she was approached by her soon-to-be friends.

“Piss off, Jeremy,” Kie had said to Jeremy Blanchard. He lived down the street from her, and much like the rest of the Kooks from Figure Eight, he went to the only middle school in Kildare Island. He was a year older than Kiara and had been teasing her about being friendless and a ‘Kook traitor’ for years. Kie didn't mind him much, normally ignoring whatever he would say, but sometimes she just couldn’t do so.

Every once in a while, Jeremy’s teasing would get to her head and she would cry. A lot. But then she would pull herself together and deal with it.

This one particular time though, Jeremy was being meaner than usual, and for some reason, his words seemed to be stabbing Kiara in a way that made her feel weak.

Tears were already pooling around her eyes as she shoved Jeremy back, which led to her body being pushed further into the wall she had been leaning on. Jeremy and his friends laughed at Kiara’s lame attempt to push the bigger and stronger boy away from her before closing in on her again.

“Shut it, traitor,” Mark, Jeremy’s friend, sneered.

Kiara began to feel a bit claustrophobic, and she swore she saw the three boys surrounding her grow taller than they truly were. She felt small and weak, contrary to what she tried to portray to them, and her breathing was becoming ragged.

All of a sudden, Jeremy was pulled back by his shoulder and to the ground. Kiara felt a little more air enter her lungs as she realized that Jeremy’s two friends were being pulled down to the floor as well. The ambush of her bullies permitted her to flee, but Kiara’s feet were glued to the floor. She couldn't look away from her three classmates defending her.

She recognized all of them. They were in her grade, and she easily recognized them as residents of The Cut. She couldn’t care less though. All she cared was that they had helped her.

One of the three boys stood up from where he was laying across Jeremy’s friend and approached the trembling girl. His dark skin was entrancing, and his curly hair looked unruly, but his smile made Kiara feel safe.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked. Kiara tried to find her voice, but no sounds came out of her open mouth. She only nodded, clutching the books she held in her hand closer to her chest. “You’re Kie, right?”

Once again Kiara nodded. She felt bad for not knowing their names. Before that day, Kiara had not cared to learn the names of almost any of her classmates. The few she knew were because of fancy Kook dinners she had attended during the years.

“Well, I’m Pope,” the boy presented himself to the tall girl. His hand was pressed against his chest, and then he pointed at the other two boys that were approaching them. “That’s John B and JJ.”

“Are you okay?” the long-haired boy asked. Kiara finally found her voice.

“Yeah. Thanks for the help,” she muttered while looking down. Although the boys made her feel safe, she was slightly ashamed in herself. She had never needed anyone to defend her or protect her, and now she stood with three boys who had done just that. They must think I’m some weak, little girl, she thought.

“Jeremy is such an ass, I swear,” the blond said while passing a hand through his hair. Kiara took notice of how worn his clothes looked compared to the other two boys, and she noticed a stain that looked a lot like blood. She shook her head, deciding for once that she wouldn’t judge her peers.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” she said sarcastically. “I’ve been dealing with him and his jackass friends for years.”

Pope widened his eyes at that statement. How come we’ve never seen them bothering her before? he wondered.

“Really?” John B asked out loud. “You must be tough, then. We’ve seen him make a lot of kids cry because of his teasing.”

Kiara felt proud of being referred to in that term. She always felt she was tough, but she had trouble portraying that to other people. Especially Kooks that wanted her to fit into the mold of a small, needy girl.

“I guess,” she decided to reply. The three boys shared a look, having a silent conversation in which they quickly decided that the girl standing in front of them was worthy of their friendship.

From that day Kiara found herself accompanied by her boys. They would hang out after school at the beach or at The Wreck (Kiara’s family-owned restaurant) and during classes, creating messes everywhere they went. Here new friendships brought even more judgment from the Kooks, but Kiara couldn’t care less. For the first time in her life, she had friends that she actually liked and that had her back. All she needed was them. As long as she had them everything was completely fine.

*********************************************

During their last year of middle school, the Pogues began to involve themselves in illegal activities. Not drugs or alcohol or anything like that, but they often found themselves breaking into houses that were under construction or buildings that were usually empty at night. Most of the time they would sneak into the pools of some Kook house that was empty during the school year before entering the house and snooping around for a little while.

They had been nearly caught many times before, but the Pogues liked walking on the edge and trying their luck. They would wait until the police cars were just outside of the vicinity they had broken into before running off. Or sometimes they would taunt them while running away, calling the policemen names and teasing them about their job.

Usually, it was only JJ and John B that would do this.

One particular night they had entered the home of a woman that would visit the island every summer. Kiara recognized who the house belonged to, having served her at The Wreck multiple times in past years.

“C’mon,” JJ ushered his friends along the empty street that had mansions on both of its sides. They were trying not to attract any attention, but anybody that looked outside of their windows would realize how misplaced the three boys were. Their dirty and worn-out clothes were a clear indicator of their lack of money, and their mannerisms were found to be despicable by any Kook on the island. Kiara might have passed a little more unnoticed, but her style of clothing reflected that of a girl from The Cut (even though most of her pieces were actually on-brand).

JJ almost moaned when he finally dipped his feet into the pool. He removed his hat and his shirt before throwing himself into the depths of the water. Pope and John B followed suit, tossing their belonging on the grass behind them and jumping into the clear water while striking a pose in the air. This made a giggle rise from Kie’s lips as she removed her clothes and stepped into the pool. A shiver went up her spine from the cold but she moved further until she was completely submerged.

When she came up for air she realized the rest of her friends were already splashing water at each other. She laughed as Pope got a wave of water thrown directly at him causing him to cough and splutter.

They continued to splash around until John B realized there was a small jacuzzi a little bit off from the main pool area. He sped towards it, jumping in and searching for the button that would activate its jets.

“Guys, help me find the button for the jets!” he ushered the rest of the Pogues. JJ gladly began to help his brunett best friend, but Pope and Kie hung back a bit.

“Don’t you guys think that’ll attract too much attention?” the dark-skinned boy questioned. “I mean, that makes a lot of noise and I’m guessing that if the cops haven’t been called on us already, then they definitely will be if we turn the jets on.”

“Agreed,” Kie chimed while crossing her arms across her chest. She didn’t notice how the boys’ eyes darted towards her chest for a brief moment. “And I really don’t want to be caught by the cops. You guys know my dad will be pissed.”

“Live a little, you guys,” JJ said while turning his back towards the hesitant half of the group. “Oh, I found it!”

The blond pressed a small button on the side of the jacuzzi which caused the jets to begin shooting water out immediately. John B and JJ relaxed while Kie and Pope shared an incredulous look.

“We should start rounding our thing up,” Kie suggested to the boy beside her. “The cops will probably be here soon.”

Pope followed the girl and got dressed along with her. After that, they grabbed onto the clothes and towels their other friends had thrown away just as they began to hear police sirens in the distance.

JJ and John B didn’t seem to realize that the law was on the way to catch them as they continued to play around with the settings in the jacuzzi. However, once the blue and red lights stopped moving (meaning that the cops had pulled up outside), they began to run after Kie and Pope. Jumping from on house to the other, they crossed almost all of Figure Eight before arriving outside of The Wreck, where they had agreed to group up if the cops were to arrive at the house they broke into. Adrenaline was pumping inside each and every one of their veins and Kie tried to level her breathing as she gave John B his clothes.

Just as JJ and John B finished getting dressed outside of the restaurant, a cop car approached the small building. Eyes widening, the Pogues darted inside. However, they didn’t make it very far as Deputy Shoupe and Sheriff Peterkin stepped inside and grabbed into them.

Just then, Kiara’s dad came from within the kitchen and was surprised to find that his daughter was being handcuffed.

“Hey! What’s going on? Why are you arresting my daughter?” Mr. Carrera asked Shoupe.

“Breaking and entering. Mrs. Longfield’s summer house,” the police officer grunted out.

“What?” Mr. Carrera screamed. He was furious, especially at his daughter. He had relentlessly advised her to stay away from the boys she had been hanging around with, but she hadn’t listened at all. “Kiara, do you mind explaining what the hell Deputy Shoupe is talking about?”

Kiara’s words seemed to be jumbled. She couldn’t find it in herself to explain what had happened, not wanting to face the disappointment that was already beginning to cloud her father’s eyes.

“She wasn’t with us,” Pope spoke up suddenly. Kie turned towards him, surprise in her eyes. Why was he lying?

“Yeah, we bumped into her outside just now. She let us in,” John B explained, his gaze not wavering from Mr. Carrera’s eyes.

“She didn’t know we were running away,” JJ added. And with that, they made Kie look completely innocent in front of her father and the police.

The male Pogues knew just how much Kie’s father would pressure her into behaving like a Kook and having Kook friends, so the least they could do for getting her in trouble was getting her out of it. With their lies, Kie’s father would only be attacking her about her friends and not about her actions.

“Is this true?” Peterkin asked the girl. She contemplated if she should shake her head and tell the truth, but as she shared a look with each of her friends, she realized that they were pushing her to lie along with them. So, she nodded.

The handcuffs came off her wrist at once. Her father tugged her towards them and they watched as the three teenage boys were dragged off towards the police station. Kiara promised herself she would visit all of them in the morning, and she would thank them endlessly for what they had done.

She watched the cop cars pull out from the restaurant’s parking lot and turn down the street. The blue and red lights faded into the night sky.

*******************************************************************

The first months of high school completely sucked for Kie. She was always alone in the hallways, and she never missed the muttered comments that came from the rest of her classmates. ‘Traitor’ and ‘dirty Pogue’ were the classics.

It had been a while since she had been all alone in school, and she was not used to it. See, this year was her first year at the Kook Academy, which meant that the rest of the Pogues were not with her at school right now but instead in the public high school on the other side of the island.

So, yes, the first months of high school completely sucked for Kie. That was until she met Sarah Cameron, the Kook Princess.

She had invited Kie down to the beach to help her save turtles, an activity which Kie was more than glad to take part in. She enjoyed herself so much that she hoped Sarah would invite her to do the same soon.

And, surprisingly, she did.

Kie found herself more and more often over at the Cameron residence and spending less and less time with the Pogues. It wasn’t that she was purposely avoiding them, no. She just simply began to spend so much time with Sarah that she barely had time to fit them in her busy schedule.

At first, Kie tried to maintain as much communication as possible with the boys. She would even hang out with them every so often. But every so often become once in a while and once in a while became almost never.

By then it was the middle of November, and all Kie found herself occupied with was numerous activities that Sarah would drag her to. The blonde girl was so much fun and she ensured that Kie would be accepted within the Kooks anywhere. Who wouldn’t want that? After all, if the Kook princess herself considers you enough to be her friend, then the Kook community would as well.

However, Kie wasn’t aware of how some of the rich people would talk about her behind her back. Especially Rafe Cameron and his crowd of goonies.

It was well known that Kiara had been friends with the Pogues for the past two years, and the Kook boys would often discuss this topic among themselves. They would talk about it at the country club while playing golf, at their houses while partying and trying drugs, or just out and about during the day while they were running errands.

This is how one afternoon Rafe and his friends ended up fighting with the Pogues for their first time. This fight would eventually lead to a long history of fights between the teenagers of the two social classes, all of which began because of Kiara Carrera.

She, of course, didn’t know this.

Rafe and his goons had been searching for some marshmallows and hot chocolate as they were going to be hosting a bonfire later that night at one of their mansions. They were commenting on who would be attending and who they were hoping would attend when they first mentioned Sarah’s name.

“Dude, I hope Sarah comes tonight,” Jeremy (yes, the same Jeremy that would bother Kiara) said to Rafe while reaching a shelf where the cookies and sweets were.

The blond Kook immediately shoved his friend while laughing a bit. “You know she is off limits! Why don’t you go for Kie instead? I’m sure Sarah will drag her over tonight.”

And just as their bad luck would have it, on the other side of the shelf stood John B, Pope, and JJ, listening to everything the other boys had said.

“Dude, no,” Jeremy replied with disgust. “She’s a Pogue. Plus, she’s always been an attention-seeking whore.”

The male Pogues saw red on the other side of the shelf. They began to make their way towards the end of the aisle, all of them knowing exactly what was going to go down in order to defend their friend.

“You can say that again,” another boy from the Kooks said. They were all laughing as if Kie was some kind of joke, and the Pogues hated it. Even though they hadn’t seen her in a while, they still cared about her and would defend her to whatever extent.

“You guys better watch your mouths,” John B said once he and his friends found themselves only a few feet away from the teenage Kooks. Jeremy visibly winced a little at the brunett’s voice, remembering how John B, JJ, and Pope had beaten him only two years ago for making fun of Kie.

Rafe, however, scoffed. “What are you three going to do? You’re just some dirty Pogues.”

Without processing what he was doing, JJ jumped towards Rafe, punching him with such force that the older boy’s head whipped back. John B grabbed onto a boy he didn’t recognize that had stepped forward to help Rafe. He placed a punch towards his face and another towards his gut. Pope advanced towards Jeremy, and although the dark-skinned boy wasn’t used to fighting, he could hold his ground. He only had to punch Jeremy once before he was on the ground and squirming away from the scene.

After a while the brawl had been torn apart by the store clerks, pulling JJ and John B off of the boys they had been assaulting. The store clerks dragged both of them outside where Pope joined them. They could hear Rafe still saying some nasty comments about them (mainly about how much of a low life they all were) and Kiara (mainly about how much of a traitor she was). The teenagers didn’t care, wiping their mouths and noses before turning to walk down the street and back to The Cut.

Later that night, Jeremy recounted the story to Sarah (although he made himself seem much less scared in his version), which caused Kie to listen to what had gone down that afternoon as well. She couldn’t believe the Pogues had gotten into a fight because they were talking about her. Although she didn’t catch what exactly had been said, she still couldn’t believe it. Did this mean they still considered her their friend?

She wasn’t sure.

************************************************************

The following year, Kiara found herself alone once again. In school that is. Her fall out with Sarah had occurred around six months ago, but she couldn’t care much about it anymore. She was much more focused on getting the Pogues to trust her again.

JJ was being especially difficult, but Kie was sure she had improved on getting them to care about her again. Little did she know they had never stopped.

So this was Kiara’s life now. During the day, at school, she was a complete loner, but during the afternoons and at night she belonged with the Pogues. Just like it had been before her Kook year. Before her mistakes.

Kiara was happy to be back where she truly belonged, and she realized she was a lot more comfortable around the Pogues than she had ever been around Sarah. She never stopped smiling when she was with them. And she realized she had never stopped caring about them when she had been away.

She promised herself that she would never do what she had done to them during her Kook year. She would never let other people insult the Pogues without defending them and she would never not be there like she had done when Big John disappeared.

Kiara came to realize just how safe she felt around the Pogues and how much they had done for her during their years of friendship.

All she wanted to do was return the favor now.

#outer banks #outer banks netflix #obx netflix #jj maybank x kiara carrera #kiara carrera #pope heyward #john b #john b routledge

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isadcrajade · 4 years ago

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💀 * [ barbie ferreira + cis female + she/her ] —— have you met isadora oliveira ? they are a twenty-one year old sophomore currently studying fashion design & merchandising. they live on keating house, and word around campus is that this aries is loyal + warm, as well as self-objectifying + obsequious. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. chocolate covered strawberries, gothic platforms, lingerie under leather jackets.

hiii bbies it’s me (gabby) finally here again to post this finalized, messy version of isa’s intro! she’s a brand new never-been-played muse of mine so it’s def bound to be a bit more scattered & less developed than ezra’s, but also much shorter? so i mean there’s a bonus lmao alright here we go:

so isadora (also known by many nicknames such as isa, izzy, iz, & dora the explora if ur trying to piss her off vgbjhksjs) was definitely not brought up in a world of prestige and recognition like the one she’s become so accustomed to in attending holloway university

growing up in the small town of lisbon, maine the only reality isa knew during her childhood was that of living as the only child of a woman who was (TW) both a compulsive liar & and compulsive hoarder. their house was floor to ceiling with things her mom collected as well as garbage built up over time- her condition had already driven isa’s father out of the house when she was just three years old, and she never had a relationship with him as a result

she was still fairly young when she realized the true severity of her own situation, just how abnormal it was compared to that of her friends. she missed out on so many rights of passage during her upbringing like birthday parties, sleepovers, etc. for much of her life her own living space / bedroom were just as bad off as the rest of the house, given her mom’s inability to keep from passing her hoarding tendencies onto her daughter. isa simply didn’t know any better at the time. to her, that was normal.

not only was her mom a compulsive liar & hoarder but she was also extremely neglectful, often leaving isa to her own devices in the dangerous environment they called home. as a result of this she (TW ED) developed harmful coping mechanisms surrounding food, regularly overeating to combat negative feelings of loneliness, and this went on from the time she was just a little girl all the way until she was in high school

high school was rough in many ways- she suffered depression, anxiety, experienced bullying at the hands of the more popular kids for her weight & her mother’s financial situation, and was all around extremely isolated from her peers- the only person she really had to depend on was her cousin (WC) . she had so much respect and envy for her cousin, they had more of a sisterly dynamic than anything, she was just so gorgeous and everything she did just seemed so effortless, to the point isa couldn’t help but idolize her and consider her a best friend.

like, remember when spongebob said he hoped that by being in squidward’s presence some of his artistic ability would rub off onto him? that was deadass isa & (WC) in high school jhbksnjs my girl was so sure if she just spent enough time with her she’d inherit some of her pretty & cool

high school was also where she reached a turning point when it came to her home environment, able to put a name to her mom’s condition after years of struggling with her strained and toxic relationship with her mom, and ultimately changed the rest of her life. she stayed the night at (WC’s) one night and after she fell asleep, isa stayed up watching TLC- it was there that she first discovered the TV show ‘hoarding: buried alive’ and realized there was a name for her mother’s infliction- but more importantly, learned that there was help available for her condition

when she went home to excitedly tell her mother that she’d basically discovered a cure, a means to change everything for them... she certainly hadn’t been expecting the reaction that came: her mom, who’d always been so indifferent toward her, so lethargic and uninterested in what she had to say, was suddenly listening very clearly- and she was not happy. isa had never heard her mom scream like that, had never really heard her express any heightened emotion, but it was in that moment at 17 years old, just a few weeks away from her 18th birthday, that she realized what she needed to do. she had no choice but to make plans to leave her mom behind.

the final weeks leading up to the big day she was counting on as a turning point consisted of her cleaning out her own space, little by little, enough that she had somewhere to set up her secondhand laptop and webcam. blowing out the candles on her 18th birthday cake came with wishing for a whole new life, and she was determined to make that for herself by any means necessary.

(TW SEX WORK) isa spent half her 18th year in her room working as a successful camgirl, showing everything but her face, & of course always being careful not to dox herself. she eventually earned enough money to start buying herself nicer clothes, but it didn’t take her long to realize she wanted more from life than just rotting away in her hometown. she bought herself a higher quality webcam to keep making money... and a nice sewing machine, something she’d always dreamed of owning.

all her life she’d been drawing and sketching as a means of escapism, it’d always been therapeutic to her to be creative and conjure up unique designs for outfits in her mind, drawing models in all shapes and sizes to represent her fantasy outfits. but she never felt like a visionary, even though anyone with an eye for fashion who got a look at her work could see that she had the natural talent and potential to be.

isa had been an a straight-A student her whole life despite having almost no support at home from her mother growing up, and with plenty of encouragement from (cousin WC), she plucked up the courage and applied for holloway university, with ivory falls being far enough from her hometown of lisbon, but still in the same state so that she could go and see her mother from time to time (bc although their relationship is quite strained now, she still loves and worries about her)

the next summer she received her acceptance letter at holloway u for the coming fall semester, and the fact that she’d been able to make it into such a prestigious school made her feel so proud of herself that she completely underwent a massive arc of character development; evolving into someone so much more confident. realizing that plenty of people found her desirable as she continued to earn money through cam shows had been part of that transformation, but realizing she was talented enough to get accepted into the fashion design and merchandising program at her dream school had a completely different effect on her.

( TW BODY IMAGE ISSUES ) isa decided that as she entered college, she was no longer going to be the meek, insecure girl constantly playing the role of the doting, loyal fat best friend to the ‘prettier main characters’ she’d always been sidekick to- she told herself that she was the main fucking character in her life from here on, and has spent her entire college experience up to this point just,, navigating as she figures out what that really means to her

still has a terrible underlying tendency to be overly-loyal and a bit obsessive with girls she closely befriends, if she has any kind of jealousy towards them. but ! is a lot more confident than she used to be, and it shows in the way she dresses and carries herself, as well as in her long-term goals (to transfer to FIDM for her final years of university)

( TW ED MENTION ) as a young adult, she’s mostly she’s replaced the compulsion to deal with her body image issues by using food to cope that she had as a teenager... by using sex to cope instead, so she’s definitely a bit promiscuous but does her best to keep that Her Own business

personality-wise she has a massive heart & is loyal to a fault but is also wild AF & loves a good time! never rly dabbled in drugs until she got to college but since then has acquired an interest in trying everything under the sun, even if it’s just one and done. mostly though she just likes to get really drunk & stupid. used to feel like she was constantly living in her cousin’s shadow, & in some ways she still does, but she’s trying hard to make herself believe that she’s reached a place where she won’t be playing second fiddle to anyone, ever again

i’m gonna shut the hell up now & stop pretending i know this character better than i do bc i deadass do not jbhnjss like she’s literally brand new so lemme go head & leave plenty of room for development!

same story as ezra i’ll have a full connections page posted for her soon but in the meantime some ideas i have are: friends, frienemies, ex friends, high school bullies, classmates, old high school friends, people she gets fuckt up with on the reg, people she hooks up with on the reg (any gender, she’s bisexual / biromantic), someone she had a crush on in high school / has pined for from afar maybe?? someone who used to watch her cam shows?? someone she almost kinda dated but Not? someone who she hooked up with while they were dating someone else?? idk that’s what i have for now but there’ll be more where that came from <3 xoxo like this or hmu !

#holloway.intro #this is a hot ass mess #but i'm rly excited to finally play her x

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mithliya · 4 years ago

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my family is still lowkey homophobic, like they act like they're Woke now but I'm 21 now and up until I was 19 my parents wouldn't even say the word "gay" out loud, they'd be like "those people..yknow...." and I'd pretend I didn't know to force them to at least use the word gay and now that my mom is dating some guy who claims to id as a woman (he only rly did it when they started dating bc my mom had just divorced my dad and didn't wanna have anything to do with men atm and was easily manipulated bc she was lonely ig) so she's all "oh im so gay" half the time. like no ur not u get so uncomfy whenever he wears women's clothes or presents femininely you aren't attracted to women at all. so anyway growing up in that environment gave me some serious internalized homophobia (I'm lesbian) I tried for years to be attracted to men and enjoy being with men and it just didn't work (obviously bc it doesn't work that way but yknow) and even though I accept anyone else who's gay I just hate myself so much for it and I dont know how to accept myself and its a conservative area here so there's no one near to help me (therapy aint work she said it was a delusion and to try having s*x with my ex (a man) more often to fix it which obviously just gave me trauma instead). what did you do to be able to accept yourself? I tell myself its ok to have thoughts about women all the time but it doesn't work bc I just don't believe it. at this point I cry every time I realize I'm attracted to a woman and its a Problem

thats so horrible and stressful to deal with, im sorry thats something ur living with right now anon! honestly its hard to accept yourself when youre in an environment thats telling you to do the opposite. id say remove as many of the homophobic ppl in ur life as u possibly can and try to surround urself with more accepting people. the way people talk and feel about something integral to u is bound to alter how you feel about that part of yourself. after that first step, accepting yourself is far more possible and is likely to be easier for you to do.

#Anonymous

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dragimal · 5 years ago

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Longform Audio Creepypasta Recs

hey TMA fandom! as a new TMA listener but looooongtime creepypasta fan, I find it rly cool that ppl who aren’t into horror are getting into TMA! I’m hoping this will help bring fresh blood (hah) to the horror fandom, so if you’ve realized that you rather like audio horror but don’t know what else to look into, I’m here to recommend my favorite longform creepypasta narrations!

this is far from an exhaustive list of long creepypastas, but I just want to introduce some of the stories I consider to be the best of the genre. and while I’m just reccing longform in this post, there are plenty of short one-shots I could rec if anyone wants to ask me abt a specific theme/Entity or even a specific ep of TMA (there are several MAG eps that brought me straight back to a specific creepypasta or two, lmao)

also, I’ll just be linking to MrCreepyPasta’s narrations b/c I’m heavily biased so I mostly listen to him, but there are plenty of other great narrators out there like CreepsMcPasta, CreepypastaJr, etc. (most of their names are variations on a theme asdfgh). and if u just want the text version of any of these, every video I link has a link in its own description back to the original text posting of the story

THAT outta the way, here are my recs! I’ll try to remember all the trigger warnings I can, but keep in mind I tend to be p hardy to most horror content, so there may be some things that slip past simply b/c they don’t register to me. also it’s been a minute since I’ve listened to some of these, so some have updated or I may have just forgotten some aspects. I’ll also update this if ppl find it useful and I find more good long pastas~

Penpal (2.5 hrs, complete)

op recounts some of their odd experiences as a child, all of which stem from an elementary school project involving a pen pal. as he recalls these experiences, a horrifying picture of his past begins to emerge...

easily my favorite pasta of all time-- and that’s saying something, considering there are some damn good recs here. it’s one of the first I read so long ago, and few have come close to what this one made me feel. op does an incredible job of capturing the nostalgia and childhood wanderlust of youth, and the last few lines of each chunk of the story hit like a goddamned truck-- esp "Friends”, I cry like a baby every time, it just.... hits something tender in me...

TW: stalking of children, subsequent kidnapping and child abuse at the end (and while it’s not necessarily *confirmed*, heavy implications of child sexual abuse, for that last bit). implied cat death. some graphic description of the victim of a hit-and-run

Search and Rescue Woods (~5 hrs, ongoing?)

op recalls several of the strange and disturbing experiences (their own and quoted from coworkers) of working search-and-rescue for an unnamed national forest in the US

y’know that feeling u get when u see photos lawn chairs just sitting at the bottom of the ocean? even if there’s a perfectly good explanation for why they’re there, it’s still haunting b/c it feels wrong to see them there, in that context? that’s basically this entire assortment of stories-- the obvious example being the stairs, of course, but even a lot of the human elements feel so out of place and wrong. if you’re a fan of Spiral-type horror w/ a hard edge of Stranger, this is the story for u

TW: generally clinical but graphic descriptions of mutilated bodies. use of the r-slur against an nd individual (it’s during a story that the main character is quoting from a different one-off character, so it thankfully only happens the one time..). child death, in certain stories. some wild animal death

Borrasca (2.5 hrs, complete)

Sam moves to a small mountain town with his family after his father’s job relocates them. he hears some spooky legends about the town, but doesn’t think much of them... that is, until his sister disappears. as Sam and his friends dig deeper into the town’s history to find any clues to his sister’s disappearance, they begin to realize there’s something deeply deeply wrong with their quaint little home

I’ve always loved horror that’s ‘mundane’ enough to be done by regular humans, but vague enough that it could actually be supernatural, under the right circumstances-- and this is one of those mysteries that keeps u guessing until the VERY end. my mind felt like that Pepe Silvia corkboard meme the first time I listened to this, I was losin’ it. this is also prolly one of my favorite examples of MCP’s talent as a narrator, b/c he adds in his own subtle foreshadowing with his voicework, and it blows my mind every time I listen to it again

also worth mentioning there’s a (3.5 hr) sequel! since the horror/mystery is basically done after the first one, the sequel is mostly suspense/thriller and character closure. if ur just here for the horror/mystery and the gut-punch of that first ending, then the sequel isn’t necessary. but if you want more closure for our dear sweet cast who deserve so much better, then by all means!

TW: the ending involves heavy sexual abuse (involving underage girls, no less), part of which is graphic. like I know I joke abt having to take breaks after reading emotionally exhausting stories, but I genuinely had to take a couple days of recovery after this one-- and that’s from someone who’s p hardy to all kinds of graphic content. do NOT take this warning lightly if this is a sensitive topic for you

Tales From the Gas Station (10 hrs for free, otherwise ongoing)

Jack works at a gas station at the edge of a middle-of-nowhere town. Strange things happen at the gas station-- bipedal deer stopping by for a drink, dark gods leaving vague messages, fingers growing from the ground out back, sudden lawn gnome appearances-- All just a part of the daily grind, right?

so if I wanna be totally fair, this is more a rec for Night Vale fans than anything (tho the TMA/WTNV overlap seems to be p significant). the comedic, nonchalant tone taken towards everything supernatural and horrific is p much 1:1 WTNV. I’ve genuinely cried laughing at some of the fuckshit that happens, esp anything involving Jerry. not to say that GST doesn’t have its heavy-horror moments, but the frequency is more comparable to Night Vale’s approach-- dark comedy definitely takes center stage, here. tho this also varies by the POV-- the “Finding Vanessa” arcs are told from the perspective of a more serious character, so the heavy parts are far more frequent and hit a lot harder

as for the time estimate, here’s where it gets a littleee bit complicated. the first version was put out for free, and read for free by MCP (among a few other narrators). this came out in several different parts, and the one video I linked above has compiled *most* of volume 1, but not the Halloween story, featured here. HOWEVER, the author has taken a second go at v1 and beyond, which is currently ongoing and available to buy as books or audiobooks ALSO narrated by MCP!

as for deciding which version to listen to, I’ll just try to describe the differences here. the first version was written entirely via Jack’s online forum posts, which were subject to more direct reader interaction and Jack’s scatterbrain. thus, the first version leaves a LOT more details up to reader interpretation/theorizing, straight up doesn’t have or explain certain plot arcs yet, and is very disorganized in terms of timeline all due to Jack’s canon memory issues. this all, personally, made it v fun and silly to follow, but I’m aware that’s not for everyone. the second version is written from a more standard first person narrative from Jack’s perspective. while Jack’s memory issues still make him an unreliable narrator (often *upsettingly* so in this version), the actual narrative is far more organized, complete, and easy to follow. the fun thing is that the first version can still be considered canon material to the second version, as Jack references making those very forum posts within the second version narrative. so, personally, I consider the second version to be the core cohesive story, while the first version is supplemental, fun material that provides more context for a few of the strange bits that happen in the story (like Jack’s ‘secret admirer’ makes more sense if u’ve listened to the first version). either way, the second version is the only way the story is going to continue (as far as I’m aware), so if you’re ONLY going to listen to one version of the story, listen to the second version

TW: for the first version, there are some uncomfortable jokes/implications at certain points-- associating villains/assholes with fatness and/or personality disorders is unfortunately a running theme, and a few off-color jokes are made abt some of Jack’s conditions (general mental health and his brief use of crutches). there’s also a point at which it’s implied that a specific one-off arc is a ploy to rape Jack, tho nothing actually comes of it beyond awkward scheming (but just in case, that story is specifically “Death at the Gas Station” at the very end of that long compilation, if u wanna skip it). for the second version, I believe the author was made aware of these issues and either straight-up removed or fixed most of them in some way. there’s just one point where an intentionally-questionable character uses the g*psy slur, and a few points where a regular commenter on Jack’s forum posts has w*ndigo in their username

in terms of gore for either one, uhhh maybe some descriptions of injuries? body horror? this one’s a lot harder to call for me, b/c the comedy softens the blow on a lot of the horror

Accounts From a Lonely Broadcast Station (5 hrs, ongoing)

Evelyn is the new voice of a small mountain town’s local radio station. her job is to take calls, play music (ALWAYS play the music), and broadcast emergency warnings whenever the fog rolls in from the surrounding forest. pretty standard stuff. she tries to make the most of it-- if only that damn crow with human eyes would stop watching her...

this one’s similar to Gas Station Tales with its heavy reliance on dark humor, but it takes itself a bit more seriously, with a more even split b/t genuine horror and comedy. also MCP brings in wonderful extra voice talent w/ this one, I RLY love Evelyn's va ;w;

TW: graphic descriptions of mutilation and body horror

My Friend Has Been Living in an Alternate Reality (4 hrs, complete)

op’s eccentric friend, Clint, turns up on op’s doorstep unannounced after several years missing. Clint vanishes again just as abruptly, leaving op with a journal detailing a horrifying, dangerous journey that’s almost too bizarre to believe, yet...

so this one’s more like an action/thriller with horror garnish, tbh-- very exciting and suspenseful! I love the weird, apocalyptic world Clint describes in his journals, and the societies that have cropped up around these hostile circumstances

TW: graphic descriptions of mutilation/injury

My Name is Lily Madwhip (~8 hrs, ongoing)

Lily Madwhip sees things before they happen. they’re usually horrible things like deaths and injuries that she wishes she could prevent but often can’t. at least her best friend-- an angel possessing one of Lily’s dolls-- is around to provide advice

this one’s from the perspective of a little girl, and it leans into dark humor enough to soften at least some of the more traumatic moments. Lily’s young enough that she’s somewhat removed from the full gravity of the deaths around her, but the fact that it’s happening so frequently at all seems to be warping her perspective towards death to be more... casual? is that the right word? it’s just a rly interesting perspective to see for horror. also we’ve got another rly great guest va here for Lily~

TW: brief descriptions of injury, but they’re not graphic. frequent animal death.

The Showers (2.75 hrs, complete)

op recounts a scary story he heard from a teacher back in high school about a vague location and a terrifying encounter. he later ventures to find this location to see the truth for himself, but is it worth it?

this one’s a classic-- I think it was of the first creepypasta I listened to? not this version, but I wouldn’t be able to tell u which narrator it was at the time. I won’t say that this one’s the most unique story out there, but something abt it has always stuck with me?.... idk, I think the premise rly hooks me

TW: oh god it’s been a while, but I don’t remember anything particularly triggering? maybe body horror?

#creepypasta #creepypastas #the magnus archives #tma #shut up ashley #blease give creepypasta a chance I need more horror friends /wretched crying emoji/#also I would've recced 1999 but I JUST found out abt all the controversy over someone reposting and pasting in parts from other stories #I totally understand why op wouldn't want the story narrated anymore shit sucks

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