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channieskies · 27 days ago

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𝕴𝕴: 𝕲𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖉

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader, Jeong(Jung) Jaehyun x Reader (Fem/AFAB/Curvy/Plus sized)

Genre: Smut (eventual), Angst, Supernatural Romance, Urban Fantasy

AU: Supernatural AU, Vampire Au, Werewolf AU, Witch AU

Word count: 8058 [Reading time: 33 Minutes ]

Nets: @neverendingdreams-net & @mirohs-aurora-society

Synopsis: Strange events keep piling up. There is something going on in this town that you are just starting to see.

CHAPTER INDEX

“Chris…” You paused, eyes focusing on the purple and pink hue that washed over the trees in the distance before you looked in his eyes to show your sincerity. “I can’t apologize enough. I shouldn’t have abandoned you. Who does that to their best friend? Especially when they have been through everything together.” You reached out and grabbed his hand, without even thinking about it. “I promise I will make it up to you. I promise I won’t be the biggest dick in Louisiana and leave you again. That wasn’t fair to you, I know that.” You played with his fingers, drawing patterns absentmindedly on the red tinted skin on his knuckles, your attention now on his skin. “I’ll be a better friend. I promise you this.” You looked up, catching him staring at you. He smiled, his lopsided dimples doing what they usually did, making you smile with him.

A.N: Please reblog and leave a comment to let me know how you feel. I'd love a little feedback. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. Special thanks to @palindrome969 and @therhythmafterthesummer for reading over this for me. I could never thank you enough. Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Disclaimer: This story does not reflect the real lives or personalities of Stray Kids or NCT. I do not know them personally. This is purely a work of fiction.

Warnings: MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost here or on other sites. This chapter contains use of explicit language.

Home. That's all it was. There was no sweet home to follow it up, because you hadn't left it that way. If anything, you left this place like you'd robbed a grave: disturbed and desecrated. Along with your belongings, you took the bad juju of committing such a brazen and criminal act. You'd left your mother, your friends, your life, and career all for a man. A good for nothing one at that. Your mother had always told you that you had to be careful of the choices you make, you never know where they might have you end up. Yours culminated in you ending up sitting in your beat up car, across the street from your mother's brightly colored shotgun-style house in the uptown district of New Orleans. Her porch was decorated with a plethora of wild yet beautiful flowers and a few colorful chairs. It was inviting, just as it had always been. This was the home that had been in your family for generations, passed down from mother to daughter since 1839. It was lived in and warm, quite possibly the most comfortable place in the world. A safe haven.

Your great-great-great maternal grandmother, Abigail, was the first of your people to make something of herself. She didn't have much of an education, but she was a talented seamstress and hairdresser, making a name for herself across three different states. She passed it to her only daughter and so on and so forth. Your mother swore that within the next few years, she was retiring from nursing and moving to Florida. You don't know why, but she swears she's going to find a good man and settle down there. But you know her best, and she is too much of a free spirit to stay in one place. That's why she's constantly traveling, taking her nursing job around the country and sometimes out of it as well, even if she was never gone long.

You picked and bit at your nails, the one nervous habit you wish you could have kicked with your nicotine addiction, but you'd take it if it meant never smoking again. You felt unnerved. It was weird, it wasn't like this was someplace fancy, it was just your moms house. Your childhood home. You could see the warm amber lighting coming through the window, indicating that she was home, but for the life of you, you couldn't get your ass out of the car. God, how you wish you could smoke and rid yourself of this stupid anxious feeling that had you tied to your seat like a locked seatbelt. Would she be disappointed in you? You failed as a daughter, on multiple accounts. You just couldn’t seem to get life right.

Your own mother had struggled with juggling a full-time job and a child, planting down roots in this city when she knew the wind was calling her name. According to her, she had been compelled by the spirits of your ancestors to have you, persuaded that it was finally the right time to settle into motherhood. But she was a bird, not something stagnant and never changing like a tree; she was meant to fly but instead had to put down roots. Having you forced her to give up on the life she wanted to have and acquiesce to domesticity. She'd sacrificed the things she'd liked just so you could afford the ballet lessons you begged to take for a few months before quitting. Same with the piano and singing lessons, as well as the haughty toighty summer camp she sent you to, all so you could study music theory. When you were accepted at Tulane University, she probably expected you to be like any other college student. You know, wrack up a bunch of debt and slowly pay it off while doing the job you went to school for. It probably wasn't in her plans to get a call from you, telling her you were pregnant in the middle of your junior year, dropping out.

You bet she wasn't expecting to have to pay for your therapy after you lost the baby either. You know it had to have been a downward spiral of bad news when you told her you weren’t going back to school, years of education and sacrifice be damned. You’re certain it hurt when you left town one night and didn't look back- the loud knock on your window pulled you from lamenting on your sub-mediocre life choices. You jumped, grabbing your heart to make sure it didn't make a run for it. “Mom?!?” You grabbed the hand crank to roll down your window, just enough to hear what she had to say.

The first thing she said was your full name loudly, “Why the hell are you sitting in the damn car, across the street from the house like a stalking lunatic? Get in the house!” She sighed, and mumbled something else under her breath as she crossed the street in haste. “I'm sorry y'all. You know that girl has no damn sense. I swear she gets that from her father.” You hadn't noticed, but there were witnesses to your car breakdown, the elderly couple next door and the nosy woman across the street. She'd snitched on you plenty of times before, why would this time be any different?

Chris hadn’t lied when said your house hadn't changed. It was indeed the same nostalgic little time capsule it was the last time you visited. You didn't bother with your boxes, entirely too tired to move the front seat and retrieve them from the back. That was a problem for the you of tomorrow. You still had clothes in your old room and could always bum toiletries off your mom, she wouldn’t mind. “What are you visiting your old mother for now?” She asked, taking a seat on her sofa. The tv was on mute, playing some old black and white reruns. You could tell she just finished her batch of cookies for the children's ward at the hospital, the house smelled of her delicately spiced chocolate chip cookies. They were a hit amongst kids and adults alike.

“I.. need a place to stay.” You didn't hesitate to say what you needed. It was her motto that was drilled into your head after all, ‘Closed mouths don't get fed’. You fidgeted with the keychain in your hands, you needed something to keep your hands and mind busy. She started for a moment only to nod, indicating to you that you could stay. “It will be for a while. U-until I find a job at least.” She nodded again, not even bothering to ask why or what happened. She was understanding like that. You tried not to let it show, but you were grateful to be born to a woman like her. She was beyond anything you could have asked or wished for. You knew that not everyone was blessed with a caring and understanding parent, and you were truly thankful that you at the very least, got to experience that from one of yours.

“But- on one condition.” She put up her hand to stop you from going further into the home. You dreaded what she had to say. Last time you stayed here, she had you volunteer at the soup kitchen for three days, saying that you could have been homeless, but she was being nice enough to give you food and shelter. That was during your grandfather's funeral a few months back. You spent time volunteering while you were mourning. Your mother is that type of person. Pay it forward was another one of her mottos. “You go to work with me for a couple hours this weekend. I have a new boss in the children's ward and I would love for him to meet my baby.” She said in a nonchalant way, but you knew she had been talking about you, she always did. Didn’t matter what you were doing or where you went, you would always be her baby and she was proud.

You truthfully didn’t know why you even doubted how she felt. There was never a moment where she wasn’t proud of who you’d become, no matter what mistakes you’ve made in life. Maybe it was just that little anxious and negative voice in the back of your mind that constantly felt the need to remind you that you were undeserving of anything good. Whether it be platonic or amorous, love wasn’t meant for someone like you. You were wholly undeserving, unworthy of it. “Also, take a trip to the family tomb and pay some respect to your elders, they have kept you safe this far and you want them to continue to do so in the future…” She continued to talk about all the things she wanted you to do for the tomb, like sweeping and dusting to make sure they were comfortable in the afterlife. It was something you always thought was a little strange, but who were you to knock the traditions of old southern folk? She’d survived this long for a reason, right?

You could feel the warmth of the sun on your face as you stirred awake the next morning. You had snuggled into your freshly changed sheets last night and honestly, you don’t remember much after that. You rubbed your eyes, opening them slowly only to find another pair staring right back at you. You quickly moved back, maybe too quickly, accidentally tossing yourself off the bed, tangled in the mess of sheets and blankets. Your butt hit the hardwood floors right on your tailbone, causing it to hurt almost immediately. “Ow!” The same eyes peeked over the side of the bed at you, as if checking if you were alright. The tiny meow that came from its mouth was a strong affirmation that the cute little black and white cat with two-toned eyes was asking if you were okay. “Yes, I'm fine. Just a little sore, is all.” You rubbed your butt to try and soothe the dull ache as you moved to your knees to get closer to the cat. “What’s your name? Huh? And why are you in my room?”

The cat leaned its head down, chin brushing over the name tag. You grabbed at the shiny, round tag, glancing at the cursive little Ella ‘Socks’ Fitzgerald. “Socks? Is that your name? It’s nice to meet you, Socks. I’m Y/N.” It puts a paw forward, showing you its cute little white paw, amongst all the black fur. “How cute are you?” You cautiously reached to pet the cat who did nothing but melt into your touch. You had always wanted a pet, but your mother was very peculiar about it. She’d say that pets were for common people who did common things, we needed more than just a pet. That always struck you as strange. What has changed from then to now? How did Socks come to be in your mothers possession? You could hear your mothers mumbles through the door before she knocked softly.

“Have you seen- ah there she is.” She stepped into your room, gathering up the cat in her arms. “This is the new doctor's cat. He was out of town for a few days and asked me to keep her. She’s cute, right?” You nodded. That explanation made sense, you knew your mother wasn’t one for pets. “So you might see her around every once in a while, whenever he’s out of town. But she's a sweet girl, so don’t be afraid.” She turned as if she was going to leave, but stopped right at the threshold of your dark purple room. “Christopher called. He said to remind you that you owe him a meal. But he said he couldn't make it over to this side of town and would send you the address.” She squinted her eyes as she turned her head towards you. “Don’t you hurt him, you hear me? He’s too pure for this world and he easily gets hurt, even if he does a really good job at hiding it. Just like when you lef-” She stopped herself, a frown forming between her brows. “Just be careful with someone like him. I don’t think he’ll be able to take it if you disappear like that again.”

You tried not to act or look confused. But you sure were. Chris didn’t act any differently towards you yesterday. He didn’t make it seem that you leaving town abruptly like you did last time, was that big of a deal. You were sure it hurt momentarily, hell, it hurt you to leave like you did. But he seemed like he understood your reasons and didn’t hold them against you. He had told you as much at the diner last night. But then again, he and your mother talked more frequently than you and your mother. She had taken it upon herself to adopt him as her own, since his family was a twenty hour plane ride away. She was a nurture, it was in her nature.

There were certain times you felt like you’d have to push your car to your destination. With all the twists and turns and little hills you had to drive through to get to whatever part of the suburbs Christopher lived in, your car was struggling to keep up. You could tell it was overheating. The radio had been on the fritz for over a month now, and now the a/c acted like it wanted to poop out on you. You would rather deal with public transportation than to have no air conditioning with all this hot and humid Louisiana air. Trees lined the streets of the suburbs in far more elegant ways than it did even in the historic garden district. The land surrounding each home seemed to get bigger and bigger the further you went out. Maybe one of Chris’ roommates was rich, because explaining how a teacher could afford this was not computing or connecting inside of your brain.

You carefully watched the numbers that were painted on the curb as well as the mailboxes and houses. You were lucky to see the numbers on the house in your neighborhood, maybe suburban living was just all together different. “140, 141….143.” You stopped your ancient clunker of a car, pressing hard on the squealing brakes, right in front of the sprawling lawn. It felt like the well manicured greenery went on for miles before your eyes noticed the large house in the background. The rounded driveway led right up to the front walkway of the large center hall colonial home. Call you Dorthy, because you sure weren’t in Kansas anymore. The city was lively, there was always something going on, people always on the streets for something or another. But out here you couldn’t hear anything but nature, and that honestly scared you a little bit. You were used to the noise after years of conditioning yourself for it. Even in St. Martinsville, even though it was a smaller town, you lived off the main thoroughfare in an apartment full of different types of people. It made you feel right at home.

The suburbs offered something completely different than what you were used to. It was almost too picturesque. The trees stood still and tall, painting the grass with little dark dots, making it the only thing that blemished this perfect little picture of suburbia. Everything had a place and everything was in its place. Eerie. If anyone asked you. The pretty white siding was accented by the white-washed brick foundation and mossy green shutters and accents. The landscaping added to the top notch curb appeal of this mini-mansion. Now, either Christopher was selling drugs to the parents of the kids he taught or he had run into some major cash since college. Last time you checked, he was still sending money back home to his family, so you doubted he had some random long lost relative that kicked the bucket and transferred beaucoup amounts of cash into his bank account. Yeah, drugs were the only answer.

You reluctantly pulled your fiesta into the drive, almost afraid it would mar the flawless brick pavers. You came to a halt and you put it in park, sitting there with it still on, wondering if for some reason your old friend was playing a trick on you. That he'd have you travel all this way just to pull a “sike, got you!” out of his ass, while he still lived in the city in the same old run-down apartment. It would be appropriate payback for you cutting ties with him in spite of everything you'd been through. He’d been there for you through the thick of it. He was the one holding your hand in the clinic after you’d taken multiple pregnancy tests to confirm your sneaking suspicions. He was there to comfort you when you lost the baby you had just started getting used to the idea of. He was there when that boyfriend left you high and dry. Chris had been your rock, but you had been nothing to him but the worst friend possible. You didn't let your mind drag you down into the same spiral that it took you on last night in front of your moms house, so you pushed past it. You pulled the keys from the ignition and got out, heading up the drive to the door. You fixed your dress, making sure it wasn’t up in the back or tucked into your panties like that one time in middle school.

You couldn’t shake this sense of nervousness you had. What the fuck were you nervous for? It was just Chris. In this mini-mansion in the middle of suburbia, with a few roommates that you didn’t know. What if they sniffed out that you were the trash friend you had made yourself out to be? What if they told Chris that you were no good for him and inveigled him not to pursue a relationship with you? Relationship? How did you get there? Friendship. Yeah, that's what you meant. You didn’t get a chance to work out your worrying thoughts as the door swung open. “Hey.” The force of the wind pulled you forward a little, causing you to stumble. Chris’ hand landed on your shoulder, preventing you from falling over the threshold of his home. He chuckled, “Be careful.” How was it possible that you hadn’t even been here a good ten minutes and you’d already managed to make a fool of yourself? Good job!

“H-hey.” Could this welcome mat go ahead and open a portal to where-the-fuck-ever and swallow you whole already? “I-I was just about to knock. How did-” He pointed to the doorbell camera, before you could even finish the question. Now you felt a little foolish on top of embarrassment. “Right..” He laughed and reached for your hand, tugging you inside the house. You fell into him with a soft thud, chin hitting his chest. You could feel the heat radiating off of him and creeping into your system, slowly making its way to your face. He gave you a soft hug before pulling back and letting you breathe. He closed the door with a slight kick of his foot, letting it close with a soft click.

“Did you have trouble finding it?” He queried, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand as if he was nervous. You glanced at him, taking in the casualness of his outfit. It was somewhere between boyfriend and I might sell drugs to pay for this unnecessarily big house. Dark almost black denim pants, paired with a simple black t-shirt and a black cardigan with white outlines on it, on top. Simple, yet classic and you appreciate his effort. “I know whenever we invite people out, they have a hard time getting here. It often means we have to go find them and have them follow us here. So, at least you have ‘finding my house on your own’ under your belt. You are one of the few.” You felt like you should have been looking around, taking in the foyer of this massive home, but for some odd reason you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Carefully watching the way his lips moved as he talked. The faint blush that painted his cheeks. How he fidgeted from side to side and couldn’t figure out where to put his hands. He really was nervous. The only time you’d see him like this is when he scored a date. But that wasn’t what this was, right? You’d know if this was a date. Right?

“I didn’t have trouble at all. I mean, besides my car acting like it couldn’t find a fuck to get out here, the trip here went without incident.” You sighed and nodded awkwardly. Don’t think of this as a date. It’s just you and your old best friend hanging out at his home while you cook a meal for him. That's it. But what if it wasn’t just that? Your mind had a way of playing tricks on you, making you believe things were true, even if you had little to no evidence of it being that. “This is a-a nice place you got here. I mean, it looks like it's even nicely decorated.” You were desperately trying not to make things awkward, trying to get your brain to not overthink just this once.

“Ah- yeah, Felix’s mom decorated the place for us after she visited a few months ago.” He chuckled, taking a look around himself as if your words triggered the memory and not him living in the space. “I didn’t think it was that bad until she brought it up. She just couldn’t understand how we lived in this nice neighborhood, but the inside of the house looked like squatters lived here or a bunch of pups or something...” He paused, eyes fixed on your hand as if he wanted to reach for it once again. “I- um, I should show you around.” He made a noise affirming to himself that what he said was what he was going to do. He finally tore his eyes away from your hand and turned to give you the tour. “I don’t know if you can tell, but no one comes this way.” He chuckled to himself, “That's probably why it's so spotless out here. I guarantee you, the rest of the house looks exactly how you’d expect it to with eight grown men living here.” Eight? When he said roommates, you assumed two or maybe three. But seven other people lived here? With the same man who turned you down everytime you asked him to be your roommate?

“Eight? Christopher….” You poked his shoulder as he led you out of the foyer, past the stairs and into the living room. There were a couple of guys sitting on the large beat up couch, playing video games. There were a few empty bottles and pizza boxes around, like they had a party and didn't bother cleaning up after. You could smell the nice candles they were burning, probably to cover up the smell of man sweat and whatever that wet dog smell was that lingered under the woodsy candle. “You couldn’t live with me but you have seven roommates and a dog? Fuck your allergies, huh?” He seized up for a second, shoulders tensing up.

“Y-you know why, I couldn't room with you. I told you yesterday.” You kissed your teeth, folding your arms over your chest as you leaned your hip against the kitchen counter. You didn't believe that for a second. Chris had a crush on you? Please. He turned to you, giving you an apologetic smile. “I was being truthful when I told you that. I promise. Living with you would have messed up my feelings toward you even more.. than they already are. I couldn't do that… not when you were going through so much. I just…. I thought it would be best to just be there for you from a distance.” There was something about Chris’ eyes that told you if he was being truthful or just saying things in jest. He was telling you the truth. But you didn't want to think of what that implied.

Christopher looked at something beyond you with wide eyes, so you followed his gaze to find the two roommates that were playing games had completely turned to listen to your conversation. “Uh.. Hi!” You waved awkwardly towards the two young looking men. “I'm Y/N, Chris’ friend fro-” You were cut off by the deepest voice you think you'd ever heard. But you were sure it couldn't have come from the face that had its lips moving. You know the look on your face said everything about how shocked you were. Eyes wide, mouth agape. You shook it off as best you could, in order to not be rude.

“Oh, you're the Y/N he talks about all the time? ” His giggles contrasted with his voice drastically. He got up from his spot on the couch to introduce himself properly, his friend trailing behind him to do the same. “It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Felix.” No wonder his mother didn't want him to live in just any old environment. The boy was beautiful. He had a constellation of freckles dusted across his pretty cheeks and his eyes shined bright light diamonds in the night sky. You wouldn't want someone so pretty to live somewhere that didn't equal his beauty either.

“Hyung did say you were pretty.” The other guy spoke up, his voice cracking on his first word like he hadn't spoken all day. “I can usually bet against his judgment, but he was right this time.” Felix nudged him, but you just laughed, thanking him for his sudden compliment. You appreciated the honesty. “I'm Jeongin.” He extended his hand for you to shake as well and you gladly took it. He was adorable, as well as brutally honest and you liked that. You asked what they did for a living and where they were from, spotting an accent on both. Finding out Felix was also from Sydney like your dear friend, and Jeongin had come to America from South Korea for a cultural exchange program for part of highschool and now college.

They asked you a few questions in return like how exactly you and Chris met and how long had the two of you known each other and you didn't mind answering, you just wondered what exactly Chris had said to them about you. Especially if it wasn't details of how you met. “Alright, I'd like to spend some time with my friend…. alone.” He was pulling things from the refrigerator, setting them up for you. Apparently he couldn't pick you up because he was grabbing things from the local box store to feed his army of roommates. “I want you all to myself for once.” He mumbled the last part but you heard him loud and clear, you just chose not to address it due to this situation already being confusing.

You clear your throat as you wash your hands at the kitchen sink. “Anything in particular you have in mind? What do your roommates want to eat?” He groaned at the mention of his seven other roomies. “I can’t in good conscience just make food for you, Chris. Not when there are other people coming in and out. So, I’ll make a group meal and everyone can have something to eat whenever they feel like.” You started searching the kitchen for utensils and pots that you would need to cook. “Any allergies, besides the one you have when it comes to living with me, that I should know about?” He stuck his tongues in his cheek as he rolled his eyes at you, even with a year apart, he should know you by now. You weren’t going to let this go anytime soon.

“No. No allergies. You know I want your macaroni and cheese. The last time I had some was before you left, so I'm well overdue for a pan.” He picked at the label of one of the spice containers. “I just… I can't ask you to cook for the kids. It's a lot of them and I've already planned to send them out with money to get themselves something to eat for the night. So just don't worry-” You stopped his rambling with a pointed stare. Your hands ceased checking over the ingredients he pulled out to confront him.

“You didn’t ask, and I'm not asking either. Let me cook for you and your friends. It's just one night. It's not like I'm going to become den mother Or something.” You chuckled and shook your head at your own joke, not noticing how your friend stiffened at your words. His ears reddened under the tuft of ear length curls on his head. “Mind being my sous-chef?” He nodded, glad you changed the subject, so he could stop his heart from fluttering about.

It took a few hours, but you, with the help of Chris, put together a full meal. Cheddar jalapeno cornbread, fried catfish, chicken fricassee (for anyone who doesn’t like or eat fish), red beans and rice, macaroni and cheese, stuffed mirlitons, corn and bacon maque choux, and a three bean salad for anyone watching their weight. You would periodically be interrupted, his housemates all floating down to the kitchen one by one to see where the delectable scents were coming from, just to find someone they didn’t know cooking in the biggest gathering place of their home. You met seven different people, with seven distinct personalities that day. Minho, gave you grumpy old man vibes, but he also had a cuteness to him that made you want to pet him like a cat, it was very strange to think about, but the truth nonetheless. You found out that this was a vacation home for Changbin and his family, the third oldest of Chris’ roommates. Why his family was vacationing in the suburbs of New Orleans, you had no idea, but they had to be pretty well off to have several homes in different countries. He was very sweet, but he almost lost a hand when he tried to pinch off your cornbread.

You thought Felix was one of the most beautiful creatures you’d even laid your eyes on, then you met Hyunjin. What kind of beauty distribution was this house blessed with? Every single inhabitant you met here was gorgeous in their own right, Hyunjin took the cake though. You almost chopped off your finger when he walked in, paint stains on his very expensive Celine t-shirt. Who paints in that? You almost got swept up in talks about art and the museums here in Louisiana before Chris rushed him off. You saw Seungmin for a few minutes before he said he had to run off to baseball practice, but the shade he threw at your younger friend, Christopher about his age before he left, left you completely speechless. There was allegedly another person that lived here, but he didn’t come out. Chris said he was a bit introverted and didn’t really talk to new people well. So you took the initiative and made him a plate along with a cup of sweet iced tea, leaving it outside the door that Chris directed you to. You didn’t mind an introvert, you were truthfully one yourself. So, you understood.

By the time you were settled, the sun was starting to set. Chris suggested sitting on the porch to watch the sun blend into the beautiful tree line behind their home. There was a nice cross breeze, thanks to the ceiling fan. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this. It’s one thing to make dinner for you and one other person, but nine? With leftovers?” He chuckled, “That's crazy.” You simply shrugged, it really wasn’t that much of a deal. You volunteered most of your young life, helping in the kitchen and cooking big meals was kind of your thing at this point. “I don’t think I can express how much I’ve missed having you around, Y/N. If it wasn’t for me finding my roommates, I don’t think I would have survived this last year.” Your heart broke for him. You guessed it was true what your mother said before you left, you’d really hurt him. And for what? What happened to bros before hoes? You were a shit friend and you knew that. You’d just have to spend the rest of your life making it up to him in whatever way possible.

You scooted the patio chair you were occupying back and stood to your feet, making your way over to him and taking purchase of his lap, all while he never let your hand go. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, kicking your legs over the armrest. He wrapped his arms around your waist and nuzzled his nose into your neck, taking a big whiff, as if he missed not only the touch of you, but your smell as well. He was affectionate, that was something that just didn't seem to change about him. Even his roommates mentioned his love of cuddles and how apparently no one cuddled him like you. Truthfully, you felt the same about him. That lack of affection in your relationship with your ex didn't dawn on you until you moved away from your hometown. When Chris was out of your life, you finally had time to notice the void he left behind. No sweet words or texts, no hugs or cuddles, no one to go to museums with or to concerts. You were literally alone in your relationship.

Your ex was harsh and mean, he didn't like to hug or kiss especially in public and he just lacked the same kind of warmth Christopher had. You longed for your friend so bad just after a few weeks of being away, that you took half of the two hour drive back home just to see him, before your ex called you back. The longer time went on the more you adjusted to not being touched or feeling loved. But now that you've gotten it back, gotten him back, you won't let go. His affection is like your life blood. You need it. You laced your fingers into the curls along the nap of his neck to lightly scratch his scalp like he liked. His eyes closed upon contact, melting into you as you melted into him. You were fine like this. This was the epitome of comfort to you. You sat like that for what felt like an eternity, his soft breath tickling your neck. The cool night breeze didn’t bother you while being wrapped in the heat of his arms and chest.

He sighed, dragging his nose over the side column of your neck, causing goosebumps to prickle all over your skin. A soft gasp left your lips, but you didn’t move away, prompting him to do it again. You tried your best not to moan as his lips ghosted over the same spot. With a particularly long drag of your nails over his scalp it seemed it was his turn to make a noise. It sent a shiver down your spine, it was somewhere trapped between a moan and a growl. You pulled back, eyes fluttering open to meet him, eyes already staring back at you, just for them to slide to your lips and back up. Did he want to kiss you? You surely wanted to kiss him. His plump lips were so close to yours, all you had to do was lean in a little. Your body unconsciously moves in closer to his, his fingers releasing their grip on your waist to move to your face, first tucking hair behind your ear before finding their place on your cheek.

He opened his mouth to speak, but you shook your head, not wanting to be taken out of the moment by words. He pulled you into him, his lips ghosting your yours before settling into a soft kiss. Was this what kissing your best friend felt like? Like smooth jazz in the park on a sunday afternoon. Like watching the sun set on his porch while in his arms? It was comfortable. Everything was always comfortable with him, always had been. But it wasn’t comfortable in the way that would make you feel no heat from it. No, this kiss would be seared into your memory for a lifetime. It's as if time stands still, it's only you and him in the moment. There are no other beings in the universe but the two of you. He pulls away, but only slightly, his mouth still lingers ever so close to yours. “What, Jisung?” You turned your head as he looked over to the door that hadn’t even opened yet. A fluffy haired, chipmunk-esque boy wrapped in a fleece blanket, popped his head out of the french doors.

“Tha-thank you.” His already plump cheeks became even plumper as he smiled. “For the food and the tea.” He nodded again, eyes darting from you to the man whose lap you were taking up space in. “I’m Jisung, by the way.” You smiled at him and his cheeks seemed to heat up. He was adorable. “Okay… bye.” He ducked back inside and scampered off as if you had scared him away. You hadn’t realized that Christopher made a face behind you at the boy, making him run off and back to his room. You turned back to him, bottom lip between your teeth, holding back the smile that was slowly starting to spread on your face.

“So…”

He laughed, “So?” He caressed your cheek with his thumb, eyes searching your face longingly. He looked as if he had so many things to say, but no way of expressing the abstract concepts his heart was painting. You wished you could dive into his mind and help him find every word he was missing, because you wanted to know what his feelings were. Were you alone in the way you felt? Was this wrong? What would happen to your friendship after that heated kiss you shared on his back porch. His nose bumped yours as he leaned in to kiss your cheek, though your lips were so close. They were calling to him, begging for another kiss to confirm if the first one was real or just a dream. He sighed, leaning his forehead against yours, as if it was an attempt to get himself together. To not wish or ask for more from his long lost best friend.

“I…” He pulled back to look into your eyes, hoping that you would say the words that he longed to hear. “I…. should really get going. It’s getting late…” Beg me to stay. Please. You pleaded to him in your mind, hoping he would get the hesitancy in your voice. Hoping he could read between the lines. “And… It's a long drive back to the city.” It wasn’t. Traffic wouldn’t be heavy this time of night on a saturday it was a thirty minute drive, tops. But he didn’t try to stop you. He just nodded, understanding. He was that type of person. Understanding to a fault.

“Do… you want me…to drive you home? I can take a look at your car tomorrow and make sure it's in tip-top shape for you.” His hand moved from your face to rest gently on your thigh, caressing it over the fabric of your dress. You could feel his warmth seeping into you, even with a barrier in-between. You could see it in his eyes, he wanted you to stay. He didn’t need words to express that. But you weren’t going to stay if he wasn’t going to ask you to. Call it being stubborn or whatever, you just wanted him to say that he wanted you. Wanted you here with him, in his arms, his lips on yours, sharing this moment of discovery together. If he couldn’t give you that, you weren’t going to volunteer your time. You’d done that for years at this point, and quite frankly, you were exhausted. You knew the burden of being alone in your relationship isn’t something that would occur with Chris, but you weren’t going to put yourself out there first. You did too much overthinking for that. You shook your head, looking down at where his hand was now squeezing your hip like he didn’t want to let you go.

“It’s okay. I can just bum a ride with my mom if need be, or call my uncle to chauffeur me around.” You dad’s half brother was always kind to you and willing to do whatever you needed in place of your father. You appreciated that. “You don’t need to worry about me Chris, I can take care of myself.” It was your turn to place a kiss on his cheek, but you made sure to make it to where there was something left to be desired. The kiss lingered, right on the edge of his lips. You brushed your thumb over the spot, whipping the non-existent lipstick you left there. “I had a great time. Thanks for letting me make up that meal you paid for.” You spoke as you tried to stand, his hand on your hip holding you back. You stared at him, just for him to let you go. His fingers slowly brushed over your stomach, before finding rest on the arm of his wrought-iron patio chair. You tried not to feel disappointed, things just weren’t meant to be at this moment. It didn’t mean the moment wouldn’t come. But did you want that? Your rekindled friendship meant everything to you and your bouts with love had all proven to be fruitless, like you’d be alone forever.

You finally stood on your own two feet, fixing your dress that had slightly ridden up from the position you’d been sitting in. He waited until you got to the door before he stood. Your eyes got a glimpse of him adjusting himself, the brief moment you shared clearly having an effect on him. He didn’t touch you again as he guided you through the house, back to the front door. Ever the gentleman, he walked you to your car and held the door open for you. “Next time, it will be just us, I promise.” You turned to look at him. Had he always looked this dazzling in the moonlight? Maybe you hadn’t ever noticed the way his eyes shone in the light. The teenage features he had when you first met were long gone, there was a man standing in front of you now. “Call me when you get home… you never know what kind of creatures lurk in the night.” You chuckled at his warning, no sense that he was serious.

“I’ll text you.” You gave him one last smile, wishing it could be a kiss instead. He returned the smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes like it normally did. At least you weren’t the only one disappointed the night was ending like this. You got in your car and he shut the door for you. You didn’t bother with letting down the window and making this an even longer goodbye. You just cranked up and pulled out of his driveway, looking back just once to see that longing look in his eye as you drove away. Regret, that's what this night brought to you. Regret that you didn’t recognize your feelings for him sooner. Oh, the heartbreak that could have saved you. You made the silent drive out of his subdivision, turning onto the main road, hyper focused on the dark pavement. Outside of the little community, there weren’t too many lights on the highway back. Your headlights were shit, you knew they needed to be cleaned, but they provided a little bit of light, blending with the slight moonlight that wasn’t covered by clouds.

You reached down to cut up the air. With your car sitting in the sun all day, the air-flow had an almost suffocating feel to it. You took your eyes off the road for a brief moment, fingers searching for the right dials to crank up the ac as much as your old beater would allow. The sweet relief of a cool breeze was short lived as you put your eyes back on the road. You slammed on the breaks, seeing the biggest wolf you’d ever seen standing in the middle of it. Your car came to a screeching halt, much harsher than the ones your old hatchback would make on the regular. The wolf looked in your direction, it had to be as tall as your car was, at least. You’d never seen an animal so big up close. You’ve seen people encounter red wolves when taking hikes around here, but they never looked this massive. Bigger than a dog, yes. Bigger than your car and possibly you? No. Plus it just didn’t look like your typical red wolf. You took in its appearance, its white and gray coat and sharp eyes. It was gorgeously terrifying. Its ear twitched and that's when you noticed the most unusual thing about it, besides its size. It had a row of earrings adoring its ear. Hoops to be exact, large to small. Where the heck had you seen that before?

The hell kind of modern wolf was this? How did it even get piercings? Was it alone? You soon got one of your answers with a howl from the treeline. Appearing from the abyss beyond the dark trees was another wolf, this one all black and even bigger. All the hairs on your arm stood up in alarm. What the hell was going on here. You looked away from the menacing one in the trees to the one in the road, making eye contact with the animal. It ran off as the other one advanced towards it, as if it was afraid of the black one. If it took issue with the scary black wolf, you supposed you probably should too. When the coast was clear, you pressed the gas and bolted. You had to get back home and wash this strange encounter from your mind. You checked the mirror a bit further down the road and there it was, black hair shining under the moonlight, red eyes aglow. A frighteningly beautiful sight to behold. You could see a sense of longing in that animal's eyes. Melancholy must have been going around tonight, but you sure as hell weren't about to stick around to find out if that was indeed the case.

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