#update: to all of you in the notes hoping and praying i wish you luck. hogs together strong

[heroesriseagain]

[ironunderstands]

All of Aventio’s implications that I can remember because someone has to compile them 

Massive disclaimer: the purpose of this slideshow is not to prove that Aventio is canon (even if I personally think it is), but rather to demonstrate the relationship these two have in canon, as well as disprove the misconception that they hate one another, because no, they absolutely do not. This list is also in no particular order so expect a lot of jumping around in the story. I hope you enjoy reading! 

Dr. Ratio added gambling to his update for the Simulated universe, and said a certain gambler would enjoy it, despite Ratio’s known dislike of gambling. 

He put his all into carrying out Aventurine’s betrayal plan, and Aventurine trusted him to execute it correctly, despite the plan/going to Penacony having no obvious gain on Ratio’s end.

Dr. Ratio gave Aventurine this note urging him to keep on living despite the pains of his past and the agony of the present, wishing a man who is already known for his luck the best of it, something which helps Aventurine survive the manifestation of IX. I am insane about this note and could yap on and on about it, but I will spare you the delusions for now haha. 

Dr. Ratio wears his headpiece around those he finds to be unintelligent and not worth his time, but he has never once on screen worn it around Aventurine, signaling that he finds the man to be both intelligent and worthy of his attention. 

Aventurine doubts his own intelligence and worth in his voiceline about Dr. Ratio, believing that the scholar doesn’t care for him. However, in Ratio’s voiceline about Aventurine, he commends Aventurine for his competence and skill, pointing out that his success is not in-fact just due to his luck, and if he keeps doubting himself he will meet the fate of those praying on his downfall.

Aventurine is also the only person to actually have voicelines about Dr. Ratio so far, despite Ratio having interacted with many others, meaning he’s the closest in canon to Aventurine, seeing that he’s the only one who talks about him. (Hopefully Screwllum has a line on Ratio when he comes out bc I am starving for Ratio content lmao). 

Aventurine’s first eidolon name is Prisoner’s Dilemma, which refers to a game theory in which two people can only achieve the best outcome of their situation if they put their faith one another while being unable to communicate/physically separated, and it mirrors the dynamic Ratio and Aventurine had on Penacony while acting out the betrayal plan. Which could mean nothing. 

His 6th eidolon name is Stag Hunt Game, which refers to another game theory based on trust, and is again, reminiscent of Ratio and Aventurine’s plan. Basically, they trust each other a hell of a lot, to the point where his eidolons are named after similar games of trust, which is no accident, as well, there’s countless game theories, and hoyo went with the ones specifically centered around trust between two people. For example his E4 is another one of those theories, but has nothing to do with trust, so they specifically selected his first and last eidolon to be about it, interesting.

The name of the 2.1 quest that just involves Ratio and Aventurine is Double Indemnity, which not only refers to the legal matter but also a famous romance and thriller movie in the 1950s by the same name. Notably, it shares a lot of plot points with that of the 2.1 quest as a whole, and the fmc is always portrayed as blond, just like Aventurine. 

There is also a scene within Double Indemnity that shares a lot of parallels between itself and the Final Victor lightcone. However in the movie scene she is holding the gun, whereas in the lightcone Ratio is, even if Aventurine is holding it to his chest.

Also if you want a more in depth analysis on how this movie relates to them, this person made a great one on tumblr :@anominous-user. (without the period, also it’s long as hell though be warned). 

You receive the track “Spellbound” after completing the Double Indemnity mission.

It is also the name of a 1945 film by Alfred Hitchcock, which is a Thriller, Noir and you guessed it, features romance as a major part of the plot. Its story also seems to have parallels to Aventio’s, but I’m not gonna get into that for now.

Notably, spellbound also means to hold the complete attention of someone, which is more often than not romantic, as only people you love/admire can captivate you like that. 

The bathtub couch Aventurine gets Ratio during his demo (and is the only time the seating ever changes in demos) is reminiscent of the bathtub couch from Breakfast at Tiffany’s, and you guessed it, its another romance.

He constantly flirts with Ratio in the pinball section of the Double Indemnity trailer, even going so far as to a) have the “Doctor you’re huge” line become a massive meme in the community b) he literally says the view is breathtaking when the only view is the giant Ratio he’s staring at. Honestly this entire section is so chock full of romance tropes (seriously what writer let their size difference kink into the story) that I have no idea how it passed censorship.

Aventurine also flirts with Ratio in the 2.0 scene by asking where his alabaster head is, which means he’s seen him wear it before. However, even when Dr. Ratio is acting, supposedly yelling at Aventurine for being a useless fool, he doesn’t wear the mask meaning he doesn’t truly feel that way.

They also have designated nicknames for one another, that are exclusive to them only. Dr. Ratio only ever calls Aventurine “gambler” while in his presence, and although Aventurine calls him Ratio sometimes, he often refers to Ratio as Doc/Doctor (Professor too in the CN) when talking to him. What’s interesting is that nobody else seems to refer to either of them with these names, meaning they made them for one another.

Despite the fact that throughout Penacony, Dr. Ratio’s job is to sell the betrayal plan, he still apologizes to Aventurine in the 2.0 argument scene, and looks away during Aventurine’s sentencing presumably out of guilt/to not break his poker face when the other looks at him. He also not so kindly tells Sunday to visit a shrink (therapist), which should tell you how much his actions concern and upset Ratio.

He also breaks his act again to check in on Aventurine. Hmm. 

Anyways time for the Aventurine keeping up with starrail speedrun because OH LORD, I’m gonna number these by image so I don’t exceed the count LMAOO. The first few are numbered by image, and the next are numbered by the columns of images, and I can clarify in the comments if you’re confused!

1) Owlbert calling them good friends (which Mr. Tsundere denies, although he says Aven isn’t awful to work with) 

2) PRAISE OWLBERT

3) This line is very significant because only 3% of Dr. Ratio’s students ever pass his classes, in which they become experts in their fields. So, if Aventurine earns a passing grade in Dr. Ratio’s book, that means he’s exceptional to him as almost nobody does. 

1) Ratio says his flashy outfits just make his job harder which ??? What do you mean by that sir do you not like seeing other people lay eyes on Aventurine serving cvnt? Why are you so worried about how his jobs go? Hmmm? Throughout the whole video he also keeps saying Aventurine shouldn’t take up fights in the first place, and the more logical thing to do would be to run away. Worried about our dear gambler Ratio?

2) How well do you know this man that you know his personal motto 😭 look genuinely idc if you leave this shipping them or not, how the hell are you gonna deny their friendship after this at the very least. 

Ok homoverse/j Anyways basically what’s going on here is that the little showcase of Aventurine’s kit ended and Ratio gave him a compliment. Owlbert says it seems like there is some mutual respect between them. Interesting, instead of denying it, Ratio asks, “What did he say about me?” implying that Ratio respects Aventurine, but he did not realize the other respected him back. 

1) Which causes Owlbert to spill this, which speaks for itself, Aventurine believes Ratio is the person who knows him best, so he invited him to be on the show. 

2) Which results in perhaps the greatest display of Ratio’s tsundereness to this day, also Owlberts face I can’t 

1) It seems Ratio didn’t think Aventurine knew him so well, but oh boy it gets better (worse for Ratio though LMAOO)

2) Caught your ass in 4k, also please just go and listen to this demo again I don’t think Ratio could sound more flustered if he tried. 

Apologies for the fuckass title card getting in the way no I don’t know how to remove it, but if you look closely in the first one, you can see a little sweat drop by Ratio’s face, which is again, another common trope with Tsundere’s when they get called out on their bs. “I really can’t tell what the deal is between you two,” me too Owlbert, me too.

Aventurine knows Ratio is in the council of Mundanites, information that is only a rumor to the rest of the galaxy, and Ratio trusts him with this information.

Acheron calls them friends, thank you Queen louder for the dumbasses in the back! Apparently there’s also a note somewhere in Penacony that talks about her, Argenti and of course Ratio being the ones to save Aventurine, so if I can find it, I’ll include it in the next part. 

Oh and don’t you think I’m done w this ridiculous lightcone for one second. I’m  well aware it’s a display of Aventurine’s su1c1dal tendencies, hell I was and still am the biggest supporter of that, however I also have eyes and yeah this fucking thing is really h0rny oh my god. “He provocatively looks at the man before him,” ok, could have picked any other wording but you picked that one 😭.

Also, a key detail of this lightcone that people miss is that it’s, well, a lightcone. A lightcone we get in 2.0 as soon as it drops, and since lightcones are canonically condensed memories, this happened way before the events of 2.0, and is likely how Aventurine convinced Ratio to join him jn the betrayal plan. 

Moreover, Aventurine says “remain amicable,” meaning this isn’t their first meeting, and him and Ratio had at least been talking to one another for some time before this, which could mean their friendship/partnership/whatever the hell this is has dated back to perhaps even prior to 1.6 when we meet Ratio for the first time, but ultimately that’s just speculation. 

Lastly, for this mini lightcone rant: the animated version of it. Oh lord. 1) Camden and Jordan put their all into it istg 😭 2) Ratio pulls the gun back but Aventurine stops him, meaning that a) Ratio didn’t want him to get hurt, but he b) accepted Aventurine’s provocation, 3) Aventurine LEANS CLOSER to him while teasing him with his whole “why not doctor~,” sh1t and 4) if you look closely at both the animated and still versions of it, there’s a tiny spark of light in Aventurine’s normally dead eyes, which is just, yeah. 

Ratios party voiceline for Aventurine. This is a complicated one because it is meant to be b1tchy in both languages (this is a tumblr post on it by @devxoid which goes over the nuance surrounding it. The TLDR is: directly translated, it means “take care of yourself, gambler, I need not your worry/concern,” but its actual meaning is far closer to the “fuck off” vibes in the CN. However, two this complicate this, 1) he sounds far calmer/neutral in the CN and 2) Ratio is the biggest goddamn tsundere on this planet, so even if he sounds mean, he does genuinely want Aventurine to take care of himself, as Ratio’s tried and true method of getting people to better themselves is by being rude to them, so it’s actually fairly in character, it’s just I think the way the line was directed in EN was a bit too harsh and threw some people off 

Finally, here’s some more silly ones that don’t really mean anything on their own until you put them into the context of everything else:

Their status as package deal do not seperate in both the data bank and the profile pictures is extremely funny because they have no reason to be next to each other like that, they just are.

Their kits are also designed to synergize perfectly with one another, and in the livestream Ratio was put in the team to demonstrate Aventurine’s kit because well, they are made to work together. Aventurine is by far Dr. Ratio’s best sustain unit due to the debuffs he provides (alongside everything else) which only gets better with eidolons + his signature lightcone, and if you have ever played Ratio you know how much he likes debuffs. As for Aventurine, his arguably  best team is the FUA one with Robin, Topaz and well, Ratio, who is the main dps of the team. Honestly besides trying to zero cycle MOC there is no reason as to why you would run Ratio with any other support unit if you have Aventurine. 

I hope you enjoyed reading! Also, this is absolutely not everything, just all the stuff that’s easy to point out, and I’m not even getting into an actual analysis of the plot and how that demonstrates their relationship. Moreover, I don’t expect you to leave this shipping them if you don’t already like them, but I at least want to demonstrate that they are without a doubt close friends in canon, and there’s no denying it. I definitely missed some so feel free to point out more, as I might make a part two, as these are just all the ones off the top of my head. Continually, for the people who like Aventio, hopefully this serves as some sort of guidebook/reference to their implications/interactions, and if you have any moots who love this ship, I’d recommend tagging them in this bc I think they would love it! Have a good day :D

[goddessesofeverything]

Third Gift for Miss Raven

Greetings to Miss Raven! (@raven-at-the-writing-desk) I hope you enjoy! Happy Holidays to you! Your confession, during the post about Jade being jealous of Rollo, about how Rollo replaced Rook in your top three Twst boys had me wondering whether I should have included Rook, but I decided to throw him a bone, and he gets to join. 

Rollo Flamme

Although he loathed having to visit the dreaded Night Raven College, it was best to present gifts in person. Tradition dictates that one should be gifting a gift for the holiday season with the recipient present so that one might see their reactions in person. The Righteous Judge himself would present gifts to his charges in person, and Rollo could do no less if he wished to follow such an inspiring example. 

Luckily, there was no shady, filthy eel to taint your interaction with Rollo—this time. Rollo had managed to find you in the courtyard of Night Raven College, scribbling some notes that assaulted your head and wouldn’t let you go. Furthermore, even more luck on his side, you had just finished your writing when you spotted him coming up the way. Rollo deigned to remain standing, but, nevertheless, put out a hand for you to grip so that he could assist you in standing. You placed your gloved hand in his and let yourself be pulled up to your feet.

He made sure to limit his contact with you, despite the glove on your hand, to remain as professional as possible. It’s not like he wanted to hold your hand more with how dainty it was in his hold. Nope. Not a single desire to continue holding your hand until he whisked you away to Noble Bell College instead. It’s not like he actually wanted that. 

Rollo simply presented an immaculately wrapped gift to you with a simple, “For you.” The gift was wrapped in alternating purple and red paper with golden bells patterning the alternating stripes. 

You curiously took the presented gift and carefully unwrapped it, lest his delicate sensibilities be offended by ripped open wrapping paper. After you meticulously peeled away the bell covered wrapping paper, a box revealed itself to you. A set of his quills, inks, and papers that he personally used for letters was nestled in tissue paper. He had chosen this set so that you both could exchange letters. Not that he was secretly praying you would write for him to take you away to Noble Bell College. No, these letters were merely so that you could keep in contact and you could update him on your stories. 

You had told him that you admired that he still wrote handwritten letters to others because it reminded you of your own writings. There was a time in which someone had told you that “letters are not just pieces of paper. They contain powerful emotions from those who wrote them” (I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the anime Violet Evergarden but this quote is from there). You had told Rollo about this quote that you’ve heard before and he sort of sees letters in a slightly different light because of it. 

Jade Leech

Your form shivered as you shook the cold snow off yourself. What rotten luck. You had just walked under a lower branch on the path to Mr. Sam’s Mystery Shop when it gave under its weight and dropped all the snow that blanketed the branch onto you. 

What is a poor you to do? All that cold and wet slush that graced you would quickly settle into your skin and give you a cold if you didn’t change quickly. 

Luckily, who should arrive at that very moment but a bundled up Jade. Jade, wrapped up in his outfit from Harveston, saw that you had been unluckily hit with some falling snow. He cooed at your perfect, pouty face with cheeks already turning pink from the cold. You shivered and he immediately took your arm in his and steered you away from the path. You protested, of course you did. But how could you compete with Jade’s strength? He was mightily determined to get you to Octavinelle to warm up. Jade dragged you all the way to his dorm room. Luckily, Floyd had Basketball Club at this time and wouldn’t be back for some hours. This was the most perfect opportunity to present you with your gift.

He toweled you down as best as he could which turned your hair all fluffy. Leaving the towel with you, he went to his wardrobe to pull out this elegant box. A box from Harveston. 

Inside the large box, there was an entire outfit, perfectly folded to fit, all ready for you. Beautifully woven scarf, a fleece hooded cloak in dark colors, leather gloves, snow boots, and a beautiful winter dress. Everything was in dark shades of blue or black to match with Jade. 

You suspected that he was just waiting for a moment such as this: when you weren’t in a position to refuse such a gift. You still allowed him to leave the room to give you the privacy needed to change into your new outfit. With every piece, you could feel the softness of the fleece, the smoothness of the leather, and the warmth of the boots. As soon as all the elements came together, Jade knocked on the door and asked if you were done (did he have a sixth sense for this?). 

You flustered at his impatience and told him to wait a little longer, to which he chuckled. Once you had a moment to yourself, you allowed him to enter once more. The look on his face when he came in was priceless. His eyes soften and a sincere smile paints his lips. He takes a couple small steps your way to admire the alluring image of you wrapped up in his gift up close. You were too cute to resist! He smoothly tucked your hair inside the hood of the cloak and tilted your face up to meet his. Surely you would accompany him on a stroll now that you were properly adorn in appropriate winter gear.  

What you didn’t know was that the branch was heavy with snow but it still wouldn’t have come down on you. It just needed a slight push to fall off the branch. The hit from an expertly thrown snowball perhaps? It’s not that you needed to know such a detail. Not when you were so lovingly cozy in your new cloak and boots now, right? 

Leona Kingscholar

Leona didn’t really do much to invite you over to his dorm as any other suitor of yours would have. A simple “Oi! Meet me in my room tonight,” was really all he gave you before he wandered back to his napping spot in the botanical garden. If Leona himself was taking the time to request that you come see him, instead of getting Ruggie to deliver the message, you were certain to be there. You were barely in front of the door before you heard Leona say, “Come on in.”  

He chucked a gift box into your hands as soon as you got close to the bed. You might not have been the best at catching things, but Leona made it an easy one. The small box wasn’t wrapped but the brand engraved on the box was one that you recognized to be a high-end jeweler that even Vil had a hard time getting jewelry from. And Leona had just gifted you with a box from them. Your eyes widened, but nonetheless, opened the box once you spotted the expectant eyebrow raise from Leona.  

Cushioned inside was a pair of earrings. Earrings made of a magestone that he personally had dug out during his time inside the mines during the Camp Vargas trip. He saw a magestone that reminded him of you and just yanked it from the wall before taking his nap in there. He took it back and had someone craft the magestone into the shape of a feather and set it into gold. Both earrings were made to be simply classy. 

“If you’re done admiring them, come here so I could put them on for you.” Leona patted the place next to him. You crawled onto his bed and presented the earrings for him to grab. He took one out of the box and gently inserted it into your ear. You could feel the soft breaths that emanated from him as he leaned in close to see your pierced hole. He clasped the earring in before taking you by the shoulders and maneuvering you to turn to your other side so he could insert the second one. He placed the second earring in your ear and pulled away, but not before he brushed your hair behind your ear so that the feather-shaped earrings were on display for the both of you to see. 

In the mirror he handed to you, you could see the details of the feather and how it complimented your look. He informed you that the earrings also had a protection charm on them because earrings with magestones should also serve some kind of function. You were startled at finding the protection charms engraved in the gold settings in a way that made them seem like part of the design already. 

He took the mirror away before you had any other time to admire your new accessories. Instead, you were pulled to his side. He laid back down on the mattress and lifted a fuzzy blanket to cover the both of you. Pulling out a book, he asked, “Didn’t you want to hear the stories that they told us as kids in the Sunset Savannah?” 

You, of course, had wanted to hear those childhood stories he read growing up, but you never expected for it to be done this way! He wrapped an arm around you and flipped through the book that Cheka left behind on his last impromptu visit. With that deep, mesmerizing voice, Leona read to you about meerkats and warthogs making friends, of puppets having adventures, and how a certain King of Beasts brought prosperity to the hyenas. With each story, the pleasant atmosphere lulled you closer and closer to sleepiness. Before you knew it, Leona was admiring the slight rise and fall of your breaths as he put the book down. He pulled the blanket up higher so that it covered the both of you before wrapping his other arm around your soft figure and resting his head next to yours. 

Rook Hunt

You weren’t expecting to be kidnapped (not really as you were headed to Pomefiore anyway), but you were whisked into the sanctuary that was Rook’s room with just the two of you in the room. He wanted to give you his gift in the intimate privacy of a space that was just the two of you. 

Just like Vil, he had written at least 100 different poems all about you to celebrate the holidays. It was all bound tastefully together in a small book that you could easily hide in any small drawer. Each poem was accompanied with a little doodle or sketch that captured the essence of the theme of that particular poem. You had only unwrapped the gift and riffled through the first few pages when he launched into an impromptu poem that he made up on the spot. It turned your cheeks pink and gave warmth to your heart to hear him singing the praises of this cozy moment with you as you opened his gift. 

Pretty as a picture,

Your delightful visage flickers

With adoration for my poetry. 

I fall further in love hopelessly

And you can claim me a victor.

His poems for you are full of heart. You know his sincerity is unparalleled. Even if some of them are a tad more flowery than you would have preferred, it makes them more treasured because of how much thought went into them. One of the poems that he wrote for you, he recited to you himself from memory.

I am invigorated with each

Lovely writing that turns your cheeks

Outstandingly pink. I admire squeaks, 

Vivacious, with fiery wit, courageous. 

Enchanting moments are advantageous.

Yearning to spend even fleeting moments

Only serve to remind me of lovely accomplishments.

Unique, unforgettable, utterly unprecedented you.

He only asks for a hug from you more. One you gladly give. For who could resist the adoration of a person on the hunt for beauty in everything he sees.

[aggold15hi01]

Life update(?)-22nd March 2024

⚠️ Trigger warning: If you do need to take the time to take breather then please be careful when you are reading this post because already I am feeling both deeply and truthfully infuriated at the actions based on what the Williams Racing Team are doing to truly waive off Logan Sargeant.

Also, if this particular post upsets you then please don't/ do not truly interact with this particular post alone on my personal Tumblr Blog here, thank you very much and mahalo nui loa.

On another serious yet a personal note at another point: This isn't a post to truly offend anyone or anybody in any different ways; this particular post are entirely based on my own views on my own blog.

Plus if you are a 'true; die hard stan' fan of Alex Albon; please don't truly take any offense to this post--again, no 'full-on level of any true' offense to everybody in general if you are truly reading this particular post on my Tumblr blog.

Plus when you are interacting with my Tumblr blog; please be equally and truthfully be both respectful and kind otherwise you can either just simply ignore me or just ✋ my blog; thank you very much.

Mahalo nui loa.

I am just feeling deeply infuriated with how Williams had decided to let Logan take the 'full on blame' and yet they don't truly have an extra car to let Logan race for the Australian Grand Prix.

I am just completely feeling both deeply and genuinely livid at the way that Williams had decided to let Logan take the blame by having to let him sit out of the race and yet thinking he (Logan) is the one to truthfully be blamed for.

Like what for? You already renewed Logan's contracts and planning on giving him a second chance on his seat then all of the sudden; you did want to waive him off only because of a serious accident where Logan wasn't truthfully responsible for an accident but then you decided to let him sit out yet having to truly say Logan is the one to be blamed for instead?

I am just completely feeling both livid and equally upset about this type of move; you Williams Racing Team.

I do really think this makes me want to truly do more writing projects while staying out any of the usual interests I used to have it the best at heart however I am still feeling deeply both upset and angry about what Williams have done to Logan.

Plus I too also pray to god he can definitely do better if he got the one last chance to prove himself he can do just about anything to be the 'best' driver as unexpectedly; I might think god have something in store for everyone in general.

Because when one of the many door closes in front of you immediately; god will open another door just for you.

Also, I'll be also sending prayers to Alex as well as I hope he can do well and yet I do wish him, the Williams and Logan as well (in particular that is) all the very best of luck and well-wishes and please DO NOT think about any ill-fated wishes towards anyone or anybody.

[sunxrice]

slsdblr part 3

i feel like i should mention that these fake posts aren't necessarily canon canon and the only thing really real about them is the character dynamics. general time period (??) of these posts is within about 0-2 days after the world update

also pguy would absolutely start discourse over the most random things lmao.

0 notes

☀️ solarisricefield Follow

world update

we made it through another month !! say congratulations everyone !! with may just around the corner the snow-rainy season is ending and we will soon be entering the dry season. good luck with the weather it's about to get fucking crazy

patch notes - 30/04/2024

sol gets over their inability to name things. congratulations to everyone who got a name! i hope you're happy with what you have. sorry sleepy better luck next month

added the past

removed the past

added the past, but different

humanity is 0.63% less annoying. cant really do much at this rate sorry

added birthday updates in patch notes. i thought it would be nice.

removed herobrine

birthdays !!

08/04 - ya boi turned 18 three weeks ago. too late to say happy birthday now but you can still say it if you want.

14/04 - happy 23rd birthday to ruby!!

#world update #30/04/24 world update #slsdverse #sol's stuff and things

3,386 notes

🎒 no1parachutelover Follow

WHERE'S HEROBRINE

☀️ solarisricefield Follow

i removed him

🎒 no1parachutelover Follow

NO WHERE WAS HE BEFORE THE UPDATE. I NEVER SAW HIM.

☀️ solarisricefield Follow

i removed him in the update before this one

🎒 no1parachutelover Follow

THEN WHY DID YOU REMOVE HIM AGAIN.

☀️ solarisricefield Follow

somebody's gotta make sure

#reblog

52 notes

🔥 ratinacage Follow

thanks sol (and everyone) for the (very late) birthday wish...

#btw i meant this in a lighthearted way hehe... no hard feelings! i get it /gen #rue.txt

343 notes

☀️ solarisricefield Follow

none of you wished me a happy birthday

#sol's stuff and things

2 notes

🎼 parachysonata Follow

you guys only remembered to wish rue a happy birthday today? pathetic. i did that just in time and even threw a whole party for her. do better.

🎒 no1parachutelover Follow

OH MY GOD WE GET IT you have celebrity influence over the whole world and you two are lovebirds who love each other soooooo much you have to keep reminding everyone about it

🧵 craftswithoutarts Follow

P guy can you shut up? She probably meant it as a joke. It doesn't mean much. Piper is just commenting on how everyone forgot, and also how good of a girlfriend she is. Leave her alone let people express themselves

📘 giftedkidburnout Follow

okay normally i wouldn't be on board with pguy's tendency to fish for discourse over the most random things but he's right you know. ruby has already said that the late birthday wishes aren't a big deal, this post wasn't necessary.

🎼 parachysonata Follow

you all aren't even real friends if you can't even say happy birthday on time.

🎒 no1parachutelover Follow

see? it's not a joke, acacia. parachy if you just wanna make everyone else feel bad about themselves just quit it. youre just fishing for attention at this point

🎼 parachysonata Follow

Haha i'm sorry WHO'S fishing for attention? you're the one who decided to respond to my post with that confrontational-ass shit. i'm just making a statement. i'm not fishing for attention. tell that to sol, they're the one who keeps posting about "ohh nobody wished ME a happy birthday boo hoo" bitch nobody cares.

🔥 ratinacage Follow

piper please, i already said i didn't mind. it's not a big deal...

🧵 craftswithoutarts Follow

I take back everything I've said. Stop it. Don't bring Rice into this, you're lucky they muted tumblr notifs otherwise I pray for the well being of your ass

📘 giftedkidburnout Follow

@solarisricefield

🧵 craftswithoutarts Follow

Anemone no

☀️ solarisricefield Follow

.

🐟 fishfinderrr Follow

🎣 FISH FOUND!

There are 4 FISH in this post!

🧵 craftswithoutarts Follow

SANDY

87,246 notes

[starryevermore]

just like her: crossing so many lines (9) ✧ andy barber

just like her ✧ an andy barber series | ao3

pairing: dark!andy barber x fem!reader

summary: andy’s got you right where he wants you. 

word count: 2,351

warning(s): 18+ MINORS DNI, cheating, smut, bathroom sex, oral (f receiving), dub con, pet name (sunshine), not proofread

note: there is no set update schedule for this; new parts come whenever they come.

The Barrister’s Ball, as you were told by some of the 2Ls and 3Ls who came to talk to your class about student organizations during orientation week, was kind of like prom for law students. When you heard that, part of your heart lifted. Back then, you didn’t know Andy was engaged, and you had had hope that maybe he would ask you to go with him. That you could have a redo of your senior prom because that shit ended horribly for you. You spent more time in the bathroom crying because your boyfriend was cheating on you with your best friend than actually having fun.

Now, you were convinced that it would just be another repeat of your senior prom. You hadn’t intended on even going after the horror of everything that happened over winter break and its aftermath. But, one night during midterms, when you stayed late at the library to study, Andy snuck into the study room you booked and begged you to come. And, god, you just couldn’t say no to those pretty blue eyes. Like a fool, you agreed. 

So, there you were, standing in your purple dress, watching as Andy and Laurie came in. You figured that she would be coming, but it still hurt to see her have everything that you had wanted. Worse, she deserved it more than you. She had Andy long before you even knew who he was. You had no right to act like you had any sort of claim on him. And yet, you couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like if you could be the woman on his arm. 

Barrister’s began with a dinner, and part of you hoped that Andy and Laurie weren’t going to be seated with you. You didn’t know if you could stand it if you had to watch them be a happy couple right in front of you. Your luck, though, had seemed to run out. Because they were approaching the table you were at. And you knew that there was no way to get out of this. 

“Y/N!” Andy said, smiling when he saw you. He held his arms out for a hug, and you stood, leaning into him, pulling away quickly, unsure of how long a hug should last when you were trying to not draw attention to the fact you were sleeping with a married man. “You look incredible!”

“I wish I could say the same about you. You look like you’re going to your first high school dance,” you teased. “You should consider growing out a beard. Would really make you look more mature.”

“I tell him the same thing,” Laurie said. You had forgotten she was there for a moment. “I’m Laurie, by the way.”

“Oh, hello! It’s so nice to meet you finally.” You prayed you didn’t look as uncomfortable as you felt. “Andy’s told me so much about you!”

Except he hadn’t. He never really talked to you about Laurie. Neither before his marriage or after. It was almost like he was still hiding that part of you from him. If he didn’t say anything, then maybe you would forget. You probably never could. He had no idea how heavily it weighed on you, what you were doing. 

“All good things I hope,” she said. 

“Actually, he’s told everyone how you have active warrants out for your arrest in thirteen states.” You paused. “Kidding! He speaks so highly of you. You’re so lucky to have such an adoring husband.”

She laughed at your joke, shaking her head. “You’re funny! I can see why you’re his best friend.”

Best friend, and mistress. Was that all you would ever be to him? As you sat down, talking with the two of them, it was clear to you now why he would marry a woman like Laurie. She was sweet and funny and completely, and utterly, devoted to him. Not mention, she was fucking gorgeous in an effortless sort of way. You couldn’t stop yourself from comparing yourself to her as you ate, nitpicking every single thing you did. 

By the time dessert was about to come out, you had excused yourself to go to the bathroom. You needed to get away from all of this. It was becoming too much. Were you too far in to just leave? Would anyone even notice if you left? 

Laurie probably would. Damn her. Damn her for being kind to you. Doing this was so much easier when you could pretend she was a bitch. When you could lie to yourself and say that she forced Andy to get married to her, like he had said in his voicemail. Now, you wondered if that was even true. If she really was just excited to marry him and wanted to do it as soon as possible, because she really just wanted them to be Mr. and Mrs. Andy Barber. 

Now, she was a person to you, and you couldn’t keep lying to yourself. You were ruining a marriage, even if Laurie didn’t know it. Because she probably would know it, sooner or later. These kinds of things never remained a secret forever. And when she did, you weren’t sure if you could handle being the source of her heartbreak anymore. 

You had to end this. And you had to end it now. 

Except, Andy would not let you be. Minutes after you left the table, Andy had followed you under the guise of needing to go to the restroom as well. He followed you into the bathroom, locking the door behind him as he came up to you. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” you said. “Laurie will get suspicious.”

“I couldn’t just let my sunshine be upset without comforting her,” he said. “If she says anything, I’ll make up something. Tell her you were upset about a bad breakup and I came to comfort you.”

“She won’t believe that.”

“She might.” He stepped closer to you, resting his hands on your hips. “Tell me what’s the matter.”

You stared at him, weighing your options. You could tell him now. Rip the bandaid off. Get it all over with. Or you could wait, draw the process out. Neither was a particularly appealing option, so you said, “I can’t do this anymore.”

His brows furrowed together. “I don’t understand.”

“This. Us. I-I can’t do this. Not when I know this is all going to hurt Laurie in the end. I can’t be this kind of woman. This isn’t me.”

“You never seemed to care before.”

“That was before. Things have changed. I can’t hurt Laurie. I can’t have this anymore on my conscience.”

“You never cared about that when I had my cock buried in you.”

Your face heated up. “Andy, please, don’t make this harder that it needs to be—”

“You haven’t even heard my side of things.” He started to sink to his knees, pulling up the skirt of your dress. “I have a very strong argument.”

“Andy, please—”

His mouth lifted into a smirk. “You know how much I love hearing you beg, sunshine.” He hooked his fingers around your panties, tugging them down. He lifted one of your legs, throwing it over his shoulder. “Beg for me, sunshine.”

Your words died in your throat as his lips latched onto your clit, sucking it harshly as he pressed his fingers into your pussy. Fuck, how was it fair that he could make you so wet, so needy, so easily? Why did he have to be a master at turning you on? 

“Shit, shit, shit—”

“That’s it, sunshine,” Andy said, lapping at your wet folds. “God, I can never get enough of this fucking cunt. So wet, so perfect. Sucking my fingers right back in. Was fucking made for me, wasn’t it?”

“Yessss, ohmygodohmygodohgod—”

“You about to cum, sunshine? Gonna cum for me?”

“Please, please, lemme cum—”

It was pathetic how quickly you came on his tongue, stars dotting your vision as he devoured your pussy like it was his last meal. You clutched the sink counter beyond you, trying to steady yourself, trying to not topple over, because holy fuck, he should give a fucking master class in eating pussy. 

He pulled away, pulling your panties back up your shaking thighs, licking his lips. Slowly, he rose to his feet, holding onto you as you regained your bearings. “I’m gonna head back out there,” he said, “then you come out a couple minutes later, okay? And try to clean yourself up a bit. Don’t want anyone suspecting anything, do we?”

“Uh huh.”

And as he left, you swore this was the end. That this would never happen again. And as you walked out, you were trying to work out a plan to make sure you could end things and not end up in this position again. And, as you stood across the room, watching as Andy leaned in, kissing Laurie, you swore that this would be the last time something like this would happen. That this would be the last time you let Andrew Stephen Barber ever have a piece of you again. That it would never go a step further. 

And you could only hope that you were a woman of your word.

Alumni events were, in a word, exhausting. It was all an elaborate show to convince the well-to-do graduates to donate more money to the school. And having to put on a saleswoman facade for a minute longer was going to be the fucking death of you. You had already given two tours to groups of alumni, showing off the recent renovations and bragging on recent accomplishments of students and professors alike, explaining the plans the school had for the future. If, for another moment, you had to find subtle ways to beg for money, you were going to lose your mind.

Thankfully, the luncheon had given you a brief reprieve from it all. Food was served buffet-style, and you had taken to hiding out by the desserts table to avoid the masses of people. Unfortunately, you weren’t the only person who had decided to begin with dessert. 

When you looked up from the slice of cheesecake you were cutting to see him, it was like your entire world had stopped. He had changed so much in the nearly two decades since you had seen him last. He almost looked taller with how he carried himself now, his shoulders back and his back straight, looking down at everyone around him. His fluffy hair that looked so soft to the touch only added to his height. For a moment, you almost questioned if he actually had another growth spurt in his adulthood. He was dressed nicer, too, wearing what looked to be a designer suit with a matching tie and pocket square. Hell, even his watch looked expensive. And his beard—god, his beard. Andy Barber aged like a fine wine, and that thought alone made you want to swear off wine for the rest of your life. 

And he was walking straight at you. 

You pulled out your phone, looking at it, trying to act like there was something important on it. When you saw the notifications on it, though, you forgot about your act. You smiled involuntarily. when you saw the text from Jensen. 

captain tech whore: hey if you wanna come over after your alumni thing, just let me know <33

you: i would love to come over :) ill text you when im heading out! 

When you looked back up, he was nearly to you. Quickly, you resumed your act of pretending something important came up, abandoning your cheesecake and speed walking out of the room. A good speed walk and abandonment of cheesecake could do wonders to make people leave you alone. 

You hurried down the hall, ducking into a bathroom, leaning against the wall with your eyes squeezed shut. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening. You refused to believe any of this was real. It just couldn’t be. This was all a dream. Surely, he couldn’t be there. He couldn’t. 

You missed the sound of the door opening, the click of a lock after it shut. You ignored the presence in the room until you couldn’t, a pair of hands falling on your waist making you open your eyes. 

“Hey sunshine,” Andy said. “You look just as beautiful as I remember.”

“You can’t be here, Andy. Go back to the luncheon.”

“I’d rather start with dessert,” he said, the corner of his mouth lifting to a smirk. “Do you like my beard? I grew it out just for you. I’ve heard that a nice beard can really add to the experience—”

“Your wife just died, Andy,” you said. “Your son, too. You just lost your family. You should be mourning. Not, not doing whatever the hell this is.”

Andy’s face darkened, his jaw clenching. “You know that’s not the family I wanted.”

“Well, I’m not the family you’re getting. You can’t do this. Not after everything that’s happened.”

Andy’s eyes raked down your body slowly, pausing as he stared at your stomach before looking back to your eyes. “I’m going to make things right. I swear it.”

“There’s no making this right, besides just leaving me be—”

“Is it because of this tech loser you’re talking to?” Andy asked. “Because, trust me, sunshine, I can give you so much more than he ever could.”

“You’re not who I want anymore.”

Andy tutted, shaking his head. “Wrong answer. I see you still need some convincing, sunshine. But don’t worry, I’ve perfected my argument.”

He sank to his knees, reaching up your skirt to pull down your panties, and you couldn’t find yourself able to stop him. After everything that had happened, he still paralyzed you with fear. If you fought, you would get hurt. And you couldn’t stand being hurt anymore.

So you let him take you in that bathroom again and again and again, because if you made him stop…

You weren’t sure you would make it out of this alive. 

[whatifxwereyou]

The Oncoming Storm Part 21: Huangshan

Liu Kang x Reader and Kung Lao x Reader (gonna do both, two paths!)

Listen, I am giving myself whiplash with how much I keep wildly swinging between whether I prefer Liu or Lao LOL. Hope you guys are having just as much fun! I missed Liu. Lawd, did I miss him. Also I did not intend for it to take this long to get to the CHOICE. It's coming after the part with Liu and some plot stuff that has to happen to trigger it! Also, I miss Chen, so she'll be back after Huangshan. ALSO have you looked at pictures of this place?? SO PRETTY!! Much love, hope you are all well. <3 Thank you for the love as always. I appreciate you so much.

Next Update on Saturday. New story on Sunday!!

Part 20 Part 22 Chapter Index

Kung Lao was a bruised, bloodied, and pale mess the next morning and much of your spare moments were spent tending to wounds and trying to get him to sit for a damn minute. He fought you at every second, as if taking care of himself would somehow make it worse.

The morning dragged on, and you were grateful to check out and make your way to the roof. Kung Lao closed his eyes, praying, and lightning struck the roof for you to travel through. It was still weird and a little beyond belief, but you’d fought a monster last night, so you had to suspend your inner skeptic and go with the flow. You handed over the carefully wrapped bell which Raiden set behind him on a pedestal that had been added since you left.

He thanked you for your duty and you offered Kung Lao a hug and tried to convince him, again, to take care of himself. He insisted he was fine, of course, but also wished you good luck. You wasted no time. Raiden summoned his magic lightning again, offered you a neatly written note from Liu, and then you were alone.

The weather in Huangshan was gloomy, just the way you liked it. The sky was gray and rumbling with thunder, the slightest hint of sun peeking through to offer warmth between the gaps in the clouds. You unfolded the note as you walked along the tourist filled streets. He’d even started the note with niceties. Oh, Liu. He hoped you were well, he found you a place to stay and took some liberties that he hoped you were okay with. He also left you a time and place to meet him. It was the lobby of the hotel that he had booked for the occasion.

You were early and it felt nice to be alone. Your nerves were shot from the lack of sleep the night before and from Kung Lao’s… everything. A walk alone would do you some good. The small town halfway up the mountain was geared toward tourists. Hotels, boutiques, restaurants, and the like.

You’d missed China. Japan had been beautiful but this was home.

You stopped a man who looked confident in his way around town and asked him for directions to the hotel that Liu had written about. You bowed politely as he pointed you in the right direction. As you turned the corner, you heard a choir of angels in your head. Clothing stores. Real clothing stores. This was how you were going to blow the rest of your money.

You spent the rest of your alone time shopping and afterward you were proud to say you’d had enough clothing for an actual wardrobe. Different kinds of shoes, cute and practical, underthings, things to wear to bed, casual things, dressy things. Things you never would have allowed yourself to spend money on before. Money didn’t seem to matter as much as it had before all this. Then you’d bought a little bag to pack it all in and shoved it away. You’d got some other necessities too, things that had seemed everyday basics had become luxuries.

You’d changed after purchasing your clothing and jeans and a t-shirt had never felt so good. Even though you’d bought a bunch of new things you decided to keep the hanfu and gi that you had been gifted. You liked them well enough. It was the lack of choice that had bothered you.

The Huangshan Yeechoi hotel was more modern than the one in Japan had been and much tidier. You felt out of place, but no one gave you a second glance, so you were grateful. It wasn’t that it was fancy, just that it was different than you had expected. There had been no room number in the note Liu had left you, just instructions to meet him in the lobby.

Thankfully, Liu Kang came from the stairwell moments after you arrived. You’d been just about to ask the clerk behind the desk for his room number and so instead you dismissed the clerk and walked to join Liu. He’d gotten new clothes too! How nice. Not much different from what he usually wore but it was novel to see him in something other than the three gi that he rotated daily. It was mostly black, except for the red sash around the middle, a different shade of red than usual, and the sleeves looked like they had been torn off- as if he had been terribly angry that they existed. There was a subtle pattern stitched in white on the side of the gi. It looked to you like an abstract dragon, but you didn’t linger long on it. As always, his prayer beads were wrapped around his wrist.

He greeted you with a smile and stopped just before you with a respectful bow. “It’s good to see you, Y/N.” His smile faded quickly as he stood upright, and you averted your eyes immediately. Bruises. There were bruises and you knew he was going to hate it. You’d briefly forgotten about them with all the other craziness.

“Good to see you too, Liu!” You tried to save face, but it was too late.

“Japan must have been something.” He furrowed his brow with concern and tilted your chin up to get a better look at your neck. Your face was instantly red. “Are you okay?” That had been the worst of it, but you’d barely had time to think of it that morning because Kung Lao had been so much worse off than you were. You should have worn a scarf. Damnit. It looked bad when you thought about it. Like you were either being abused or had a very specific kink.

“It was an adventure but I’m fine. I promise. It’s obviously sore and bruised but I feel great otherwise.” You were tired, so that was an exaggeration, but it felt good to have accomplished something and to be out of the temple. He continued to examine the bruise as if he didn’t believe you, so you swiped his hand from your chin, gave it a squeeze and then set it down. His disbelief faded and his smile returned. Your nerves about your connection, your friendship, returned screaming into your brain.

“You brought a bag?” He gestured behind you. You realized that probably seemed funny since you had no intention of staying for too long.

“…yes.”

“Well, the woman at the front desk will make sure it gets to our room. We have plenty to do.” Liu rested his hand on the middle of your back and guided you to the front desk. You spoke to the clerk there. She was incredibly accommodating. Liu offered her your room information and you handed over the bag. Then you went on your way. He led you from the lobby of the hotel and walked slowly through the streets of the tourist town. “Tell me about Japan.”

Boy, there was a lot to say about Japan, but you figured he probably meant the artifact and how you’d fared.

“There was a monster which I didn’t think existed so, processing that.” You were surprised to hear Liu Kang laugh. You’d had a lot to process that had been otherwise beyond belief. “It was protecting a dotaku which I now know is a decorative bell used in rituals during ancient times. The monster was very grabby.” You gestured to your neck. At least it hadn’t left a bruise when it had backhanded you across the room. The last thing you needed was people looking at you like you were in an abusive relationship. At least the neck thing could be explained away for the most part.

“Tell me about the monster.”

“Monster is maybe not the right word for it uh… okay, never mind, it’s the only word for it. It was made from tar and stunk to high heaven, and it was huge.” You jumped so you could reach the height of the monster, which was higher than your jump, but Liu would get the point. He was an excellent listener.

“How did Kung Lao handle that?”

“Oh, you know, like Kung Lao does.”

“Chaotically?” Liu chuckled.

“I’ve never seen one man thrown through so many doors.” You drifted off and he laughed again. The sound of his laughter was sweet, not as hearty as Lao’s but more under his breath and twisting his face into the cutest smile. You’d made Kung Lao out of ink to protect you. That seemed important but you hadn’t processed it yet, really. Your brain was buffering.

“Really though, is he okay?”

“Much worse off than I was because of all the doors and walls but I took care of him the best he would allow. I’m hoping he’ll actually keep his promise to go to the infirmary.”

“Raiden will make sure he does.” Liu reassured you. “Trust me, this won’t be the first time he has to be dragged there. Or likely the last.” He stopped, looked you over and then continued, purposely avoiding eye contact. “Was he on his best behavior?”

“Is he so often in trouble that I should have been that worried?”

“Kung Lao doesn’t like to listen to directions, and he was with you and I know how he is so…” He glanced at you curiously again and you laughed in disbelief. Liu Kang was fishing for information! Interesting. Now that you knew they gossiped about you, you wondered what exactly the gossip consisted of. They were up to something, and you were going to get to the bottom of it. Maybe you had spent too much time with Kung Lao. Liu Kang had always been honest with you, you thought, and now you were suspicious of every word. “He has a track record for trouble, that’s all. I just wanted to make sure he didn’t give you a hard time.”

“If you have something to ask me, Liu, then you should just ask me instead of this little word dance you’re doing. Are you feeling me out for information and what about?”

“I say what I mean, Y/N.” Liu knit his brow in confusion but still smiled at you. You sighed because that didn’t seem right. Something was off. He could be frustrating too sometimes, you supposed. He had a way of saying things without saying what he meant to say and leaving you guessing at what he had meant. You’d had so many close calls between you now romantically. At least four that you could think of offhand that had nearly killed you. But then it was like nothing had happened. You didn’t talk about it. There was no follow through. If he said what he meant to say, then what did saying nothing mean?

That hurt.

And they’d gossiped about you. Kung Lao and Liu Kang had in some way gossiped about you. You clenched your jaw in frustration. You didn’t have time for this. You had work to do.

“We can talk about it later.” You decided. “Have you figured out anything about where we should go?” That had been the reason he’d gone early you’d been told but you had no idea what was true and what wasn’t anymore. Your head was mixed up and your brain was buzzing.

“Yes. One of the areas from your vision is called the Seas of Cloud. Raiden mentioned that you saw images of deceased emperors, so I was looking into that too.”

“It was in quick flashes. I didn’t understand what they were at first.”

“There are tales about this place and the yellow emperor after which it is named. He used the waters of the springs here to gain eternal life in these stories.”

“Is that your way of saying that you think the springs might be related?”

“Anything is possible, but I figured it was worth looking into. There were springs in your vision too if I recall.”

“Yeah. I saw a bunch of dead emperors and a spring, but it wasn’t… it was different than I expect the ones here to be? It was in a cavern. It felt secret.” You admired the gray sky but still felt tense all over. You had to breathe and let it go but the more you tried the more frustrated you became. “So, we’re narrowing it down to the springs and the Cloud Sea?”

“Yes. We aren’t too far from either of them but it’s still an endeavor to explore. Yet, it is less than the whole of Huangshan.”

“Probably somewhere between if I had to guess. I followed him in my vision through the mountains up to the clouds and into this cavern that had a spring inside it. Oh! Do they have maps of the mountain? Sometimes with places like this they will list caves on the little brochure to explore.”

“I thought of that. Regrettably, the caves are not mapped out and most are off limits without a tour guide.”

“What if we told them that we lived in a cave. Do you think that would help or cast aspersions?” You considered. There you were, trying to defer your frustration and inner struggle with sarcasm again. Liu chuckled.

“Probably the latter. We know what we’re looking for at least and it shouldn’t take terribly long to hike the area. If we don’t find it then we can start to worry.”

“I have a feeling that it’s secret. I don’t think it’s going to be easy to find. Maybe we should try to feel around for information instead of wandering blind?” You stopped walking, trying to take things more seriously. That was hard.

“I suppose that we can play tourist. We’ll stop at the springs and ask an attendant if they know anything about a secret or hidden spring in the caves.” Liu suggested. At least it was a better lie than fake date.

“Fine.” You said flatly and were annoyed with yourself almost immediately. This would be so much easier if your visions weren’t all over the place and fuzzy.

“You seem irritated.”

“Oh?” You bounced on your heels and shook it off. You were sulking. You had to cut it out. “No. I’m sorry, Liu. I didn’t mean to come off that way.”

“Are you sure, Y/N? Because you seem… annoyed and that’s not like you. If I’ve done something to offend you then we should discuss it.”

Oh no. He was good at confrontation. Damnit. “No, you didn’t do anything like that, Liu.” He had but not on purpose, you were sure. You were just touchy after the day before and overthinking. You had to stomp out that inner voice, but it was so loud. Your anxiety hadn’t been this bad since you were a kid. “I’m annoyed with myself. I’m sorry it’s coming out at you. It’s not intentional.”

“Y/N, you…”

“Don’t tell me not to be annoyed with myself, please. If I could navigate these visions in a way that made sense, then we wouldn’t be so lost on where to look and having to spin ridiculous tales and theories of where to go and what we might find. I could just lead us there and that would be that. And if my brain would just calm down, I wouldn’t be so annoyed. It’s a perpetual cycle.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself. Besides, I don’t mind spending a day or two in Huangshan with you, Y/N. It’s a nice change of pace from Raiden’s Temple.” He smiled sympathetically.

“It’s just like you to put a positive spin on everything.” You scoffed.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing!”

“No!” You huffed defensively and then pouted. “I’m coming off grumpy, aren’t I?”

“You are.” He smiled, but amusement danced in his eyes. He thought that your frustration was either funny or cute. You supposed you were grateful for that.

“I don’t mean to. I’ve got a lot on my mind. I’m surprisingly sore from the whole monster thing too so there’s that.” You rubbed nervously at your neck.

“That is a pretty bad bruise, Y/N.” He tilted your chin up again and you grabbed his hand and pushed it away.

“I really should have worn a scarf so you wouldn’t keep pointing it out.”

He laughed and led you through town and along the path that went to the springs. Liu had picked the perfect location for you to begin your search. It was a short walk from your hotel. There were buses that offered transport, but it seemed such a short walk that it was likely for those who were elderly or drunk.

“This is a popular tourist spot. It was difficult to get a room. I don’t usually stay in places like that, but it was the only vacancy that would accommodate us both and be close enough to where we needed to look. I figured that we didn’t know how long it would take us so the luxury would be a nice break.”

“Makes sense.” Why was he trying to justify his selection to you? You liked the hotel. It was nice.

“Grumpy,” he whispered, leaning close on one foot with his hands clasped behind his back.

“I’m trying so hard, Liu.”

You reached the gate to the springs. You couldn’t see the water beyond it, but you could hear people within, and you could feel the steam and heat even from outside. There was a large building with two doors separated by male and female for changing. In front of that was a booth where a young man sat reading a magazine and looking extremely bored.

“Should I meet you inside? We can see if anyone knows anything?”

“Or we could try the attendant first.”

“Him? He’s a distracted kid who has no interest in our questions, Liu. Look at him.” You nodded discreetly toward the young man. He was likely in his early twenties and doing this just for a paycheck by the look of him.

“Yes, but you’re well… you.” He gestured to you, and you looked down at yourself, brow furrowed in confusion.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You laughed in disbelief.

“You know what it means.” He turned his gaze away from you, hiding his smile but you saw his cheeks turn pink just enough. As quickly as you had noticed it, it had passed. “Now, go be charming and ask that kid about a private spring in a cavern closer to the Seas of Cloud.” He grasped your shoulders gently and turned you toward the booth then gave you a gentle nudge forward. You stuttered on your words and stared forward in complete awe. What the fuck?

Fine. You’d try but he was biased, at the very least. You weren’t built for this kind of thing. You’d always been awkward and terrible at flirting. Gah, you were blushing now too. This was the worst. Okay, deep breaths. You could do this. You didn’t have to be flirty or cute. You could just ask the question. Liu waited behind you, but you didn’t think he was far enough away to be as subtle as he thought he was being.

“Excuse me,” you began politely.

“Just you? Or your friend too?” The attendant didn’t bother looking up at you from the magazine that he was reading.

“I have a question for you, actually.”

“I’ll try to help if I can. Go ahead.” He closed his magazine and finally looked up at you, looked you over, and then was still clearly disinterested. He was working. You knew he would be!

“I heard some stories that there’s a spring in a cavern offsite. Further up the mountain and closer to the Seas of Cloud. I think that it’s considered private. Maybe even off-limits. I was curious if you knew anything about it.” You did your best to sound curious and charming, but you had no idea how it actually came off since you’d been so damn grumpy. The attendant looked from you and then peered around you to Liu. He closed his magazine, folded his hands, sighed heavily, and gave you a knowing look. Oh no, he’d immediately misinterpreted your intentions.

“Look, I’m going to be honest with you.”

That was a bad start.

“Oh, I think you maybe…”

“I’m just filling in for my sister today. I needed the extra cash, and she has a date this afternoon.”

You laughed nervously and looked back to Liu since that was where the attendant kept looking suspiciously. “I think that you misinterpreted my intentions. This doesn’t have anything to do with him. I just had heard a story and was curious. A private spring sounds really beautiful.” You were the world’s worst liar. You couldn’t even come up with an excuse other than you thought it might be pretty.

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Do you not know then?” You were grumpy again. Damn.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t help you.”

You were flustered beyond recovery now. He had misinterpreted your desire to see a secret spring and the only thing you could think to do was stutter that he had done so. Then Liu was standing behind you, one hand on your back, the other on the counter.

“Is there a problem?” Liu sounded curious and offered a smile, but the attendant rolled his head back and groaned.

“I am not making enough money today to deal with this.”

Liu straightened his posture in surprise and looked to you for further explanation. At least you weren’t the only one flustered. That made you feel a bit better. You turned toward him and he placed his hand on your arm gently. That was probably not helping your case, but it felt nice. “I asked him about an off-limits spring closer to the Seas of Cloud and now he seems to have confused my desire to see this beautiful spring with something…” You stuttered in a frustrated whisper and couldn’t seem to find the word, the obvious word. Instead, you smooshed your hands together in front of you.

“Oh?” Liu tried to interpret your hand motion and then laughed in realization. “Oh. Intimate.”

“That’s it.” You pointed at him. “That’s the word.”

Liu let go of your arm and leaned against the counter with a sigh. “How much would it take for you to give us an answer?” You snapped your head back to Liu so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash.

“Look, dude, I don’t even work here usually and…”

Liu Kang placed some yuan on the counter and you stared at it in horror, mouth hanging open. Then you had to close your mouth tight to keep from bursting into hysterics. Your eyes were burning, trying not to cry with tears of laughter. Liu Kang was bribing a stranger to give you directions to a romantic hot spring instead of just explaining himself. Of all the possible outcomes you had expected this was the funniest one.

“Whoa, man… look I…” The attendant stared at the money on the counter and Liu tapped the bills before sliding them toward him. You were dying. This was where you died. RIP. Tears. You blinked them away. Your cheeks hurt from keeping it together. This was amazing. “If you take the main path up it branches about an hour in. Take the left fork and then walk for a bit. As you get close to the Seas of Cloud there’s a few caves. One of them has a spring in it but it’s hard to find with all the trees and not exactly safe. Gives me the creeps. That’s all I got.” He scooped up the bills. “Have fun man and if you get caught it wasn’t me who told you.”

“Thank you.” Liu bowed his head politely and then, hand on your back, led you away from the booth. You started up the hiking trail that had been pointed out to you and then you burst into hysterical laughter, practically hyperventilating from having held it in for so long. Liu pulled his hand back and stared at you with some concern as if he didn’t understand why this was hilarious.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He gently brushed his hand over your shoulder.

“What the hell was that?”

“Oh. I guess it was funny. He was going to think whatever he was going to think, Y/N. Sometimes we have to use other resources to get what we need.”

“Oh my god, does that mean you bribe people often? I didn’t expect this. I’m sorry. I wasn’t emotionally prepared for how funny that would be.”

“Only when they’re more convinced by money than words, Y/N.”

You took deep breaths to get yourself together and cleared your throat.

“How very Zen of you.”

“Come on, now.” He chuckled and placed his hand again at your back to lead you along the path that would start your hike. “We have private springs to find.”

“This day keeps getting weirder by the second.” You blinked away the remaining tears from your fit of laughter.

“Was it really that funny?”

“Liu. My stomach hurts from laughing.”

He shook his head with a smile as you continued on your way.

[akaashisupremacy]

Good Luck Charm

Summary: Daichi tells you about his favorite good luck charm before Karasuno heads to their Nationals.

Notes: Have you ever wanted to walk home from school with Daichi?? Because I think about it all the time?? I have more Daichi on my Masterlist

Daichi  x reader

genre: fluffy ficlet (750 wc)

“I saw you on the stands cheering for us during our game against Shiratorizawa.” Daichi grins.

At the end of the game, you saw his eyes searching through the audience. When his eyes rested on you, he smiled then finally bowed to thank the audience. You shyly waved at him. Daichi is a quiet, responsible kind of leader. Him shining in the game  made you so proud.

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything!” you chuckle, “It’s a pretty historic and important game.”

Your club activity finished late today and on your way home, you crossed paths with Karasuno’s captain and your classmate Daichi Sawamura. It’s rare for you to walk home with him, even rarer to find him alone.

“I wish I could go watch you in Tokyo if it wasn’t so far away.” you sigh, feeling your cheeks warm.

“I wish you could go watch us too,” he gently nudges his shoulder to yours, “I’ll send you updates during our breaks and I’ll tell you all about it when we come back!”

You walk in comfortable silence. He stands a little closer beside you.

“I wanted to make your team a good luck charm before you go to Nationals but I guess Michimiya already made you one.” you casually mention, trying not to pout. His hand bumps into yours, making your heart skip a beat.

“That one was for championships. We could really use a new one for Nationals.” he waves, “Besides we need all the luck we can get. The seniors and I even went to pray at the temple during the new year for victory.”

Thinking about how held up the good luck charm she made him rears jealousy in your gut. You frown. You were supposed to make him one, but decided against it when you saw Yui’s charm at the end of the game.

“Something bothering you?” he quirks, turning to you after noticing your change in expression.

“No, not really.” you  shook your head. Daichi stops under a streetlight.

“Are you sure? You can tell me anything.” he reassures, worry creeps into his voice.

“It’s nothing, I promise.” you reluctantly fake a smile. You don’t want to lay unnecessary burden or drama on him. He’s under enough stress and pressure.

Tension starts to build in your chest. The sound of your shoes on the pavement keeps the walk home from being too quiet. It’s your turn to face him, your arm lightly brushing against his.

“Daichi, you know Yui has liked you since middle school right? That’s why she made you the charm.” You’re standing so close to him you feel the heat of his body.

“Oh, I guess so, but…” he shrugs, his mind seems distracted.

“But what?” you ask.

“Well, I don’t like Michimiya…I like someone else.” he exhales calmly, “I feel a little bad, but I just can’t help myself.”

“I was really hoping she could watch us live, but I know she’ll be cheering for us at home.” He smiles confidently towards the night sky. You peer at him.

“What’s she like?” your curiosity overpowers you.

“She’s in my class...she’s really smart and pretty. Kinda wished we could spend more time together.” he enumerated, “She went to our last game too, even though I know she was super busy.” he says, eyes boring into yours.

“Oh,” you mumble quietly as your heart sinks. Someone else? Seriously? You’ve been worrying about the wrong person all this time?

His gaze lingers at you just a little longer. He unconsciously fidgets with his bag.

“How’s your cheek by the way?” your fingers gently brush his face. He presses your hands into his warm cheek, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. Heat rises to your face. You simultaneously wanted the moment to both stop and keep going.

“You will be cheering for us here right?” he inquires cheerfully.

“Of course, I’ll cheer for you wherever I am.” you nod, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“For a moment there, I was afraid I’d made an unfound assumption.” he laughs, “You’re my favorite good luck charm. You know that right?”

Daichi seems too good to be true. You’ve always thought he would have gone for Michimiya or another pretty girl,but here he is  looking for you in his games and wanting to spend more time with you. 

You admire him for the  amazing captain and overall wonderful person he is, but now he is someone you can call yours too.

---------------------------------------------

Taglist: @itstheee-ha-chan @kaizumi

[donutloverxo]

Stevie

Authors note- listen... I'm sorry for this but at the same time I'm not. Anyway this was inspired by an arc from the anime gintama.

the female captain america graphic does not belong to me.

Do not repost or steal my works. Reblogs are welcome

Summary- Steve has been on a space mission for a week. When he gets back he's a completely different person.

Pairings- Steve Rogers x reader, Stevie x reader

Warning- smut, sex toys, bi curious reader, gender bender(Tony nat and steve get turned into the opposite sex)

Word count- 3.3k

Masterlist

You had been monitoring Steve’s mission status for the past week. You were both used to the other being gone on missions. But a mission in space was something else. Steve, Tony and Nat were helping Carol out with a situation in space. Since the guardians were mia. In another galaxy. It was still hard to wrap your head around. Last you heard going to Mars was considered a huge accomplishment now people are travelling to another solar systems.

It was hard not to worry. So many things could go wrong. They could be sucked into a black hole or encounter a hostile species. You were one of the few Avengers who had never been to space. As you were blipped after the snap.

You had heard about it from Steve. He had a far away melancholic look in his eyes whenever he talked about it. You understood how hard those five years must’ve been for him. You weren’t sure if you could even last 5 weeks without him.

As much as you would’ve liked to go explore space you had decided someone had to stay home.

You were going about your night drinking some coffee to help with your fatigue in front of the monitor waiting for updates from Steve’s team. You had not left the room, you pretty much lived there. They were supposed to be home two days ago. With no updates from either of them you were at the end of your rope.

You were jolted awake when you felt your chair along with the whole room vibrating. You didn’t even realise you had fallen asleep. You rushed outside hoping that the team had made it back.

You looked at Carol approaching you from the ship landed on the compound lawn.

“Hey there”, she greeted giving you a nervous smile.

“Is something wrong?”, you asked looking at the ship hoping to see Steve come out of it.

“Well yes and no. Something happened. I’m going to need you to stay calm.”

“I’m always calm”, impatient you walked towards the ship.

You stopped in your tracks when you see three more people come out of it. Two women and a man. Confused you looked back at Carol who just smiled and shrugged.

“This must be weird for you”, you heard the man say, his hoarse deep voice say.

You looked back at the three of them and wished to pinch yourself or slap yourself, anything to wake up from this dream. You looked the three of them up and down. It wasn’t too obvious but they looked a lot like Steve Tony and Nat.

The redhead man had broad shoulders, a square jaw and a Bob haircut. He was shorter than the blond woman standing beside him.

You stopped breathing for a minute when you looked at her. She was tall, taller than any woman you’d ever seen probably taller than most men. She had a sharp jawline and high cheekbones. Her short blond hair was slicked back. If you didn’t know better you would be scared by her sharp features but you couldn’t help look away from her piercing blue eyes. That’s when you realized.

“Steve?”, you breathed out after what felt like forever.

“No no, she’s Stevie now”, you whipped your heard to look at the short brunette woman standing behind the redhead. Her hair was short with flicks of grey. She had wrinkles around her eyes and mouth.

“Yeah and she’s Toni now. As in Toni with an i.”, she redhead said.

“What is going on here?!”, you yelled and looked at Carol for an explanation.

“Well we were on the mission everything was going quite well. But then somebody decided to make some sexist jokes.”, she gave Toni and the red head a icy stare. “So they changed these idiots into the opposite sex. To teach them a lesson. They will go back to their old selves soon enough.”

“Ok it was just a joke! How was I supposed to know they would be so sensitive”, Toni whined.

“Wait who are ‘they’?”, you asked her

“Aliens”, she answered and walked back to the spaceship “alright I have to leave good luck”

“Oh no you don’t. How are we supposed to fix this?” Toni chased behind her asking and then begging her to stay.

You looked at the red head who would most probably be Nat and then at Stevie. Not really knowing what to say your gaze went down Stevie’s body. Your eyes widened when you looked at the curve of her breasts. You couldn’t see them properly under her tshirt but you could tell that they were big. It was no surprise, Steve did always have big assets.

“Uh... can we go inside?”, Stevie asked awkwardly rubbing her forearm with her hand.

You hadn’t uttered a single word still speechless and in shock. Was this real life? You had solved so many problems, seen so many things over the years but never in your life did you think you would be here. Looking at your boyfriend or girlfriend, you couldn’t deal with the feelings emerging inside you or how much you wanted to touch her to see if her skin was as soft as it looked.

You could only see her arms and face as she was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. She had a soft sheen of blond hair on her arms, not nearly as coarse as Steve’s arm hair used to be. Her arms were still muscular and definied but much more slimmer. And she clearly wasn’t wearing a bra. Not that you were complaining.

She was looking down at her thighs closing them and then opening them again, probably not sure how to sit. She looked up at you and smiled.

“How are you feeling?”, you asked her.

“Strange”, she said running her hand through her short hair. “Are you okay?”

“Well...”, you started not knowing how to finish. Would she be mad if she knew what was going on in your head? She was confused and in distress this is neither the time nor the place to have unsavory thoughts.

Nat came into the common room and plopped down beside Stevie. “I just used the bathroom. It was quite interesting.”, she said nodding to herself and staring off into space. She looked like she was contemplating her entire life.

You looked at Toni grumbling and making herself a drink. “She left. Said we’ll be back to normal by tomorrow”, she sat down on the sofa in front of you sipping her drink. She looked down at her breast before squeezing one.

“Toni!”, Stevie chastised him and looked away. You laughed at both of them, Nat and Toni joined you as laughter filled the hall.

“Imagine if Stark was born a woman”, Nat wondered.

“They definitely wouldn’t call you a playboy. They'd call you much worse names.”, you said before going back to admiring Stevie in all her glory while you had time.

“I’m going to head out. Good night kids. Pray to your gods that we go back to our old selves tomorrow”, Toni said putting her empty glass on the coffee table before leaving.

Nat yawned and stretched her back. “I’m going to bed as well. Long mission. Good night”

“So, what do you wanna do?”, you tentatively asked Stevie. You were suddenly nervous around her, the way someone would be around a new crush. You went back and forth between looking at her eyes, breasts and your lap.

“Let’s just go to bed. But... uh.. I could just sleep in the guest room if you like.” She scratched her neck blushing just like your Steve would. You smiled at her. There was no need to be nervous. This was the same Steve you knew and loved.

“No. We can sleep together. I’ve missed you”, you take her hand in yours. It felt the same but a bit different. Maybe because her hands were much smaller than Steve’s.

“I’m not me though”, she mused looking at your fingers linked together.

“I don’t mind. In fact I like it”, maybe you were being too bold but this might be the only chance you ever get.

“Oh?”, she looked at you her pink plump lips pouting. They looked even more kissable right now. Her nose was slimmer but still a bit crooked. The cute confused expression on her face reminded you so much of your Steve. Which was bizarre because she was still your Steve.

You couldn’t help it anymore, you leaned in putting your hand on the armrest for support and joined both your lips. She was stiff at first but then relaxed. You licked her lips and she opened her mouth kissing you deeply. She had missed your lips and your touch for the past week.

You broke apart after a few minutes. You looked into her eyes trying to catch your breathe. You decided to sit on her lap like you usually do. She put her hand around you as you nuzzled into her neck breathing her in. She smelled different, more feminine, but you could still smell hints of Steve’s soap and cologne.

“Are you sure about this?”, she asked intensely looking into your eyes.

You cradled her face in your hands. “I am as long as you’re comfortable. I’ve always wanted to do that. Be with a woman. Just never got the chance.”

“I... uh.. wouldn’t know what to do to”, she murmured looking away.

Steve, bless his heart, would never go anywhere near porn. He always found it too gratuitous. Never mind that the few sex tapes the two of you did make were plenty gratuitous.

No matter how much he liked to act like a boy Scout you knew all his kinks and perversions. But you had seen and read your fair share of erotica and you knew what you liked. You could make it work.

“You’ve always wanted to be with a woman?”, he asked and you nodded “you never told me that”

“I don’t know. I like women but don’t even feel like thinking about anyone else when I have you. Man or woman”, you shrugged. She blushed at that giving you a wide grin.

“Well... maybe Carol..”, you trailed off. You had developed a slight crush on her since the moment you met her. She was so fierce and strong. She didn’t take shit from anyone. You smiled at how she just left everyone here and went on her next mission to save the universe.

She was someone admirable. Or maybe it was just because she was a lot like Steve. Captain and everything.

Stevie hummed at that. She had seen you looking at Carol in adoration, her suspicions were just confirmed. She didn’t feel bad or jealous. She knew you were hers.

***

You had made yourself at home between Stevies leg while she laid her head on your pillow. She was apprehensive about letting you go down on her or see her. But you were adamant about giving her the experience of a female orgasm.

Maybe you had your selfish reasons as well. You couldn’t stop looking at her pretty pink pussy. It might be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. You were tempted to whip out your phone and click a few pictures.

There were little dirty blond hair sprinkled around it. You wondered if you liked it because it was objectively pretty or because it was attached to the love of your life.

You smiled to yourself when you noticed it was glowing. She was probably getting impatient. She had been on a tasking mission, she deserves some relief. You were a bit anxious even if you knew what you had to do, you had never done it before. Your core tingled when you remembered the first time Steve ate you out. How you had to direct him and tell him exactly what to do. He was pretty much a pro at it now.

You licked a shy stripe up her lips. You gained a little bit of confidence when you felt her gasp and shiver. You licked a few more stripes before sucking on her clit. She seemed to like it when you did it faster so you increased your pace.

You pushed your tongue inside of her while licking her up. You decide to try incorporating your fingers as well. Pushing one and then two inside of her before thrusting them in and out with purpose.

She grunted and pushed your head back towards her core. “Shit”, she screamed as you began lapping her up again.

Steve never had any qualms about cursing during love making. It gave you great pleasure knowing you’re the only one that ever gets to see this wild feral side of him. Or her.

“Oh god”, she clutched your hair fisting them in her hand before coming all over your mouth. You lapped up everything you could.

You climbed up on your bed and looked down into her eyes. “How was that?”, you asked stroking her cheek.

“Pretty good”, she smiled up at you her blue eyes twinkling.

You raised your brows at her frowning. “Just pretty good?”

“It was perfect. But nothing different, I think”, she replied bringing your hand to her lips giving it a kiss. “Now it’s your turn”, she smirked.

“No”, you said firmly and got off the bed disappearing into your closet.

“No?”, she asked before sitting up trying to see what you were up to.

You return to your bed tying your favorite strap on to your hips and coating it with a generous amount of lube. You smirked when you looked at her staring at it. “What do you think?”

You already knew the answer to that question. You had used the very same toy on Steve’s ass more times than you could count. As much as you loved being dominated by him you also liked pleasing him, having him completely at your mercy.

She visibly gulped down. “How do you want to do it?”

“I’d like to look at your face.” You said holding her face in your hands stroking her cheeks. You push her down on the bed. Kneeling between her legs. You groped and stroked her body. It was unsurprisingly as soft as you imagined it would be. You held her breasts in your hands for a minute squeezing them and stroking her nipples. “they’re so soft”, you wondered out loud.

“Now you know why I like yours so much”, she said chuckling

You squeezed her pink hard nipple between your fingers before taking it in your mouth, giving it a harsh suck.

“Fuck... doll I need you”, she whined grabbing your dildo lining it up to her pussy.

You released her nipple with a pop swatting her hands away. “Be patient”, you scolded. She pouted at you but kept her hands to herself.

After sucking on her breasts for a while you lined your dildo upto her pussy. You snaked a hand under her hips to pull her up towards you, just like Steve used to do with you. You needed to be as close to her as possible.

You have her an open mouthed kiss slowly pushing into her. She moaned into your mouth. You fucked her nicely and slowly. Holding her in your hands as if she was the most precious thing to you, which she truly was.

You increased your pace when you felt her moaning and grunting loudly, knowing she was probably very close. You looked down at her face scrunched up in pleasure as she came around your cock.

You had never been able to look at Steve’s face when he came, either you were too fucked out from your own orgasms or were focusing on making him last longer.

Now looking down at her, doing something that was only pleasure able for her felt incredibly intimate. It felt better than any orgasm could’ve.

You pulled out of her, taking the strap on off before cuddling with her.

“That was something else”, she mumbled feeling high from her intense orgasm.

***

Later that night you had some how convinced Stevie to let you put make up on her. She didn’t agree at first but with some pouting she was basically putty in your hands.

You lips were set in a firm straight line in concentration as you tried not to mess up her eyeliner. Her hair was incredibly short so there wasn’t much you could do with it. You wondered if she would let you take some pictures.

“So what exactly happened? Why did they turn you into women... and man”, you asked still not sure how they were able to do it.

“It was something Tony said about never understanding women and then Natasha argued with all men are the same or something along those lines”, he said a frown on his face as if he was trying hard to remember it “I was caught in the middle of it trying to get them to stop fighting” You decided to let it go for now. Maybe she’d tell you the whole story some other day.

“One good thing about this is now you can take my name”, you smiled as you imagined Steve with your last name.

“I always thought you’d take mine. I like the thought of you as Mrs Rogers”

“Oh and why would I do that? I was one of the most renowned sheild agent and I am the best avenger”,you said puffing your chest out proudly.

“You might have some competition with that”, she teased smirking at you to which you stuck out your tongue putting some final touches on her face. “I guess our kids could just hyphenate”

You gasped at that, “kids? If you think I’m having more than one child then you’ve lost your mind. You know what it’s like to have a vagina now. Imagine pushing a child the size of a watermelon out of it”, you huffed but looking at her pretty face all your anger melted away.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. You know if I could go through it instead of you I would”, she said stroking your thighs and you knew she was sincere.

Steve would never let anything bad happen to you. Not if he could help it. After he got you back he had vowed to you that he would always protect you.

You looked at her sad face hunched down staring at the ground. She looked as if she was in another world. “Stevie what’s wrong?”

“It’s just what if the kid inherits all my illness. Or the super serum. That could be a danger to you”

You knelt down between her legs so you could look into her eyes. “Hey it’s okay”, you said softly “we don’t have to have kids. And we can always adopt. That gives us much more time”

“Are you sure?”, she asked shyly playing with a strand of your hair.

“Absolutely positive”, you beamed up at her.

***

The next morning you woke up earlier than usual. Stretching your back muscles you smiled looking at the sun shining through the window. It was a beautiful day. Perfect for a picnic. You looked to your side smiling at Steve sleeping peacefully. Wait a minute.

“Steve”, you shook him harshly.

“What?”, he rose his voice heavy and hoarse. He looked down at his body touching his pecs and abs before looking back at you. “I’m back”

“Yeah you’re back”

You both went down to the common room to find if Toni and Nat had went back to their normal selves. They were already waiting for both of you.

“Oh Rogers is back too!”, Tony said eagerly.

“Did you two have fun last night?”, Nat smirked suggestively at the two of you.

“I see neither of you learned your lesson then”, Steve shook his head at them before looking at you, catching you staring at him. “What do you miss Stevie?”

You shook your head at him. Lightly slapping his chest. “I like what’s in here. Doesn’t matter how you look”

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Reunions

Request: Hi! Can i request an imagine where reader is Sirius daughter, and older than Harry and she’s like an older sister to him, She promides Sirius that she’d always protect him, as he couldn’t when he was away. Probably she gets hurt all the time by doing this, but she doesn’t care. If you want, can you make her date Fred or something, and you can add some angst, or whatever. Develop as u wish, hope u like it! Sorry if it’s not very clear! xx

A/N: Here it is @play-morezeppelin ! Thank you for your request, I hope you like it! I really enjoyed writing, I’ll admit I struggled to start it but once I got into, I couldn't really stop. I hope I’ve done your request justice - I had to have a reunion between Sirius and the reader!

Pairings: Fred Weasley x Reader (romantic), Harry Potter x Reader (platonic), Sirius Black x Reader (familial).

Warnings: swearing, angst, some violence

Word count: 3.3k

A letter from your father, that was all you had left of him. A letter asking you, begging you, to watch out for baby Harry.

For the first fourteen years of your life, you are unable to due to Harry being raised by his muggle aunt and uncle, but also being far too young. You needed to be raised yourself.

Your arrival at Hogwarts introduced you to the Weasley twins. Fred and George quickly became your best friends from the moment you were sorted into Gryffindor. You also had to be honest with yourself, this last year you had been catching yourself looking at Fred in a different light; looking at him as more than a friend. It felt natural with Fred – to go from a friendship to a relationship, as if it was always meant to be. You only hope that he felt the same way.

The arrival of Harry Potter at Hogwarts and his sorting into Gryffindor had made you miss your father more than usual. Your memories of Harry were few and far between, visiting him often as a baby but never seeing him again after the unfortunate deaths of his parents – of your godparents.

A friendship is quickly formed between you and the boy you once thought of as family. Helped along by your friendship with the Weasley twins. Your friendship group starts to blend across year groups and there isn’t a thing you would do to change it, cherishing every single friendship between the trio: Harry, Ron and Hermione.

Through his first year at Hogwarts, you had become somewhat of a rock for Harry. Someone he could come to if he wanted to speak freely about his worries or his parents. You wished you could help him; through every new bit of information he found about his parents, he ended up grieving them all over again. He would come to you when that happened; Harry felt an almost kinship with you – he couldn’t explain it, he just knew that you would understand.

If you had one complaint about Harry and his friends though, it was that they could not, for one second, keep themselves out of trouble. By the end of their first year, you had lost count on your hands of how many injuries you had gotten trying to protect them. Their second year was no different; you had no choice to forgive Harry after had apologised over and over for getting you hurt in the process.

You could only hope and pray that their third year would be different.

“Harry?” You call out over breakfast.

“Yes, (Y/N)?”

“Can you promise me one thing for this year?”

“What’s that?”

“Stay out of trouble for me and my health?”

Harry laughs, “I’m afraid I can’t make that promise. Haven’t you heard? There’s a serial killer after me now.”

You sigh at his answer; you realise that their third year was to be the same. You had heard about the escaped convict from Azkaban; your heart had dropped the minute you saw your father’s face plastered over every single wizarding publication. It was an outer body experience, to see your father again after so long.

You’re snapped out of your reveries by the Daily Prophet being slammed down in front of you.

“It’s like a family reunion for you, isn’t it (Y/N)?” A Slytherin says, snickering lightly.

You freeze; any chance of a reply lost in the tears that start to well in your eyes. An arm wraps around your shoulders, you don’t need to look to know it’s Fred.

“Bugger off, will you? You’re wasting your breath.” He says towards the student; they quickly turn and walk away.

Fred leans into you, whispers into your ear. “Don’t worry, love. There’s an extra-large Dung-bomb with their name on it.”

He frowns when you simply nod; normally, the idea of a prank or revenge gets you smiling and planning along with him.

He grabs your hand, and pulls you up to stand with him, “Come on, we’re gonna talk.”

You let Fred pull you from the Great Hall; he doesn’t let go of your hand until you’re in an empty classroom where he sits you down at a desk. He leans against the desk opposites and looks at you.

You start to rant, wiping at your eyes, feeling slightly foolish, “I just didn’t expect to see him. It sounds silly because of course – of course his face is going to be plastered on every news outlet in the wizarding world. Even the muggle Prime Minister was informed for Christ’s sake, but I didn’t actually think I would see him, or a picture of him.”

“It’s understandable that you didn’t. You haven’t seen your father in twelve years.”

You snort, “I know. He looks so different, Fred. It scared me.”

Fred takes a seat on top of your desk, wrapping an around your shoulder. He rubs his hand up and down your arm in a comforting motion. You can’t help but lean into his side. No words need to be said between the two of you; Fred doesn’t need to offer you words of comfort, simply being there for you through this is enough for you.

“Thank you for the Hall.”

“I’ll always defend you; you know that.”

You sniffle, “I do. You’re too good for me, Fred.”

“I doubt that. I’d like to think I’m perfect for you actually.”

You look at him, an eyebrow raised.

Fred swallows, “This wasn’t the time or place that I wanted to do this, but I’ve had a crush on your for about a year now and I would really like it if you would go out with me?”

A smile breaks out across your face, leaning up, you press a kiss to his cheek, “Yes, I’ll go out with you. I’ve had a crush on you for so long.”

Fred smiles at you, he also starts to blush.

-----------------------------------

Things start to deteriorate in school; Sirius Black enters the school multiple times. You almost vomited when you hear what happened to Ron – he doesn’t seem to be too shaken up by the event, but your stomach turns with guilt regardless. You start to panic over what could happen next; what will he do next? Has he been driven to insanity in Azkaban?

The comments made by fellow students get worse too. It has never been a secret who your father was, and you were never ashamed to be his daughter. You believed in his innocence and that was all you needed; you didn’t need the approval or belief of other students. It was becoming routine for you to receive two or three comments on your way to any class; it was becoming draining, but every single time after every single comment, you thought back to the aged letter from your father that is hidden away in your trunk. Fred stands by you through it all; defending you constantly. George has had to stock up on his Zonko product’s more times than he would like to admit to you.

Through all of this, your weekends have become your favourite times of the week. They are the days where you can spend the whole day with Fred and not have to worry about anything. Comments are still made, but you pay less attention to them on the weekend. Instead, focusing all of your energy into your relationship with Fred, your homework, your friends and Hogsmeade.

Your first date with Fred is at Hogsmeade; the day is spent together, dawdling from shop to shop. Grabbing some new quills at Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop and updating your Honeyduke’s sweets stash. It’s a perfect day, and only made better by the kiss Fred places on your lips before entering the school grounds. Your smile and blush last for days after that.

Time spent with Fred helps to ease the burden and the guilt you feel about what is happening. Fred reassures you multiple times and when that doesn’t work, he kisses you quiet. That works pretty well.

---------------------------------------------

You had known perfectly well that Harry, Hermione and Ron would visit Hagrid with the execution of Buckbeak, the Hippogriff. From the very minute they had shown you the letter from Hagrid telling them of Buckbeak’s fate, you know that they would not let it be. It was sweet, that they wanted to be there for Hagrid, but it was not worth the trouble they would be in if they were caught.

Rushing out of the common room, you could only hope that you could catch them in time.

You don’t. Instead, you see all three running towards the Whomping Willow.

You start running towards the trio the moment you see the great, black dog that you know is your father.

From there, you start to curse whatever luck you have. It is just your luck and your choice of friends that get you into messes such as these. You make a mental note to expand your friendship group after everything passes.

Entering the passage below the Whomping Willow, your breath comes in short pants. Nerves and adrenaline are taking over your system; you know exactly who is at the end of the tunnel. You never thought a reunion would be possible, and all you wanted was for it to be in better circumstances.

You stop short of the entrance. Nerves have overtaken your adrenaline, your stomach turning at the thought of seeing your father again after twelve years of separation. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes; the newspaper clipping flashes before your eyes. Would he even recognise you after so long?

You take a deep breath to steel yourself. Then you enter the room.

Ron lies on a bed; his face crumpled in pain, Scabbers the rat flailing about in his hand.

Harry and Hermione stand together in the corner of the room; Harry’s body partly shielding Hermione. His wand is raised, he looks shocked at your entrance.

“(Y/N)!? What are you doing here?” He shouts.

“Harry, I need you to listen to me. I need you to put the wand down.”

“No! Why should I? He killed my parents, (Y/N). He is the reason I don’t have my mum and dad.”

“Harry, please. Put your wand down. I need to tell you something.”

Harry looks at you; sadness, grief and anger run rampant in his eyes. You frown at him, how many times must this boy relive the death of his parents?

“Okay. Harry, here. Have my wand.” You throw your wand at him; he catches it.

“I’m defenceless now. Will you put your wand down and let me explain to you why I’m here?”

He continues to watch you, but slowly, Harry lowers his wand. You sigh quietly in relief.

“Thank you, Harry.” You whisper. “What I’m about to say, I need you to give me the benefit of the doubt. I need you all to remember that I am only two years older than you all.”

“Why does that matter?” Hermione asks.

“Because Hermione, the man standing behind me is my father.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Ron shouts.

You close your eyes at the shouts coming from all three. You want to look at him, your father, but you aren’t ready just yet. You can feel his eyes on you though; taking in every detail from the twelve years he has been missing from your life.

“Sirius Black is my father.” You start, when their voices have quietened down. “Truthfully, I’m the product of a one-night stand. Sirius got full custody of me when he was told I existed; my mother agreed. I got two years with him, that’s all. Two years with my father before he was taken away to Azkaban.”

“He killed my parents, (Y/N)! Of course he got sent to Azkaban, he should still be there.” Harry shouts, his eyes glistening.

“Harry, no. I’m not trying to erase your pain, Harry. I’m truly not. But it wasn’t just you who lost people that night. I lost my father and my godparents. Lily and James were my godparents, just like Sirius is your godfather.

“He left me a letter, that was all he could leave me. A letter. In which he begged me to watch out for you Harry, and I am so sorry that I couldn’t for the first eleven years of your life, but I am only two years older than you. My befriending of you when you arrived at Hogwarts was genuine, but my father’s words always stayed in the back of my head. I made sure to look out for you, but you have an incredible talent for getting yourself into trouble.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I trusted you with so much.” Harry asks, the slight break in his voice the only evidence of his emotions.

“You never asked. From the minute of his escape, I was petrified of you finding out. It isn’t a secret who my father is, and I am not ashamed of him, so it was never hidden.” The panic within you is starting to rise; the very last outcome of this was losing Harry’s trust – you absolutely did not want that to happen.

Ron grimaces, “Does Fred know?”

You blush, “Yes. Your entire family knows Ron. I was raised with Bill and Charlie through the first wizarding war.”

Ron nods, seeming happy at your answer. His protectiveness of his older brother coming out; he did not want you lie to Fred – he wouldn’t stand for it.

Throwing a small smile in Ron’s direction, you prepare yourself for turning around.

For the first time since you arrived in the shack, you look at your father. His clothes are ruined, his hair reaches his elbows, and he’s far too thin. A sob breaks free of your lips, and he’s at your side in an instant. His hands on either side of your face, getting a good look at you. He hasn’t seen so much as a picture of you in twelve years; he cannot believe that you even recognise him.

“(Y/N)?” Sirius whispers.

You nod, tears falling freely now. “Hi Dad.”

He wraps you in his arms. He hasn’t held you in his arms since you were two years old and you were a delightfully chubby toddler. When he was taken away to Azkaban, you were barely taking your first steps, still needing to be held by your father. Now, you reach his shoulders easily where you wrap your arms, wanting to sob again from the feeling of his bones clearly poking through the skin. Sirius clings to you; savouring the fact that he’s holding his daughter after so long.

“You know,” Sirius starts, “You used to be smaller.”

You nod, “I know. We’ve missed a lot.”

“(Y/N)! Get away from him. He’s still a murderer.” Harry shouts.

“He isn’t. He never was.”

“He isn’t innocent; he sold out my parents to Lord Voldemort.” Both Hermione and Ron wince at the use of the Dark Lord’s name.

“No, he didn’t.” You state, gritting your teeth.

“Then who did?” Harry demands; all he wants are answers, and he is more than entitled to them.

“Peter Pettigrew.” A voice says; one that neither yours nor Sirius’.

Remus Lupin enters the room. After that, even more explanations are given, and secrets revealed. You knew that in the morning, you would have one hell of a headache from all the information you had to process. Your heart went out to Harry, who in the span of a few weeks has had his entire family history almost rewritten. The trust between you had been damaged, and it would take a lot of time to fix.

If possible, the night gets worse. As the group lead Pettigrew and unconscious Snape (who dramatically interrupted) back to the castle, the full moon rises. Taking one single look at Lupin, you know that he hasn’t taken his Wolfsbane Potion and he’s about to transform. All hell breaks loose from that very moment – Sirius transforms, Snape resurrects, and Harry has to follow. He has to follow. You barely get close to him before Snape pulls you back, berating you for being so stupid. You have to repress the urge to scream at him; you fight each step of the way back to castle, only calming when you realise that Ron is seriously hurt and for Fred’s sanity, you help him to the hospital wing.

Once he’s settled and getting treatment, you take a seat on one of the spare beds. The thing you want to do most is go and find your father, but you can’t move. Instead, you start to cry silently. Letting the tears you’ve hidden for twelve years finally start to flow. After what seems likes hours, from sheer exhaustion, you pass out on the bed.

-------------------------------------------

You awake in the hospital wing with Fred comes bursting in, disturbing the peace.

“Thank God, you’re okay.” He breathes. His arms wrap around you tightly, pressing you to him.

“I am.” You say, rubbing a hand up and down his back, “I’m okay.”

Fred pulls away, he looks as if he wants to run his hands all over you, to check for himself that you are truly okay with no major injuries. Fred had never known panic like it, when Professor McGonagall pulled him to one side in the common room to tell him that you were currently lying in the hospital wing. Everything was white noise after that, leaving as fast as he could so he could get to you.

You grab his hands, hold them in both of yours, rubbing calming circles into them. “I’ve got nothing other than a few scratches; go check on your brother, Fred.”

Fred frowns, he doesn’t want to leave you – not for one second. Instead, he shouts to other bed, “Ron! Are you okay?”

Ron replies, “I’ll be fine, mum and dad are already on their way.”

Fred grins at you, “I’ve checked on him. Can I stay with you now?”

You nod, opening your arms for him. The only thing you wanted at this moment in time was Fred’s arms around you. He obliges happily; his arms are wrapped around you and you feel as if you can finally breathe, as if you are finally back on earth after the most dramatic evening on your entire life. His hands rub up and down your back and you hum happily.

“(Y/N)?”

“Fred?”

“Will you tell me what happened tonight?”

“I’m sure the whole school knows by now.”

“I just want to hear it from you; to know that you weren’t in real danger.”

You sigh, “I will. Just not tonight, I need tonight to process please.”

He nods, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “Take all the time you need.”

Looking at other beds, you can see Harry and Hermione laid out in separate beds. Fear starts to flow through your body.

“Fred, what happened to Sirius?”

“He’s been caught. The teachers are keeping him hidden in one of their rooms.”

Tears start to form in your eyes; you don’t even know; you were certain that you had cried yourself out last night. “Oh god, no. I just got him back. I just got my father back and they’re going to take him away again.”

Fred shushes you, not to stop you talking but because Harry and Hermione have awoken, and Dumbledore has entered the hospital wing. They shout for a few minutes before Dumbledore talks to them quietly. Hermione pulls a long necklace out of her shirt and you swiftly realise that she is in possession of a Time Turner; and all at once, it hits you what they’re going to do.

Harry catches your eyes for a second, nods, and then he’s gone. And all you can do is wait.

They’re going to rescue an innocent man. They’re going to rescue your father.

[behind-the-hood]

Hey babes, been a while, huh? So, I've been thinking about how I want to get back into the flow of things, and with that came my update on what all's been going on. And it's a lot. So I'm going to hit the big points and my pets, because they are my babies ❤

So, I got divorced, which was great. He's stolen my half of our last tax return he was required by our divorce agreement to give to me, and kept my stimulus checks, which is not great, and I will be taking him to court when my lawyer says the system isn't as slow as a snail on glue.

I've got myself a new boyfriend. He's...the best thing ever ❤ I don't wanna get too mushy on you guys, but imma marry that man ❤ We've been together for over a year now, and in that time we actually lost his mom...and that one still hurts me. She...didn't die in a pleasant way, and I hate that she won't get to see us get married or see her first grandbaby or any of the things she was so excited to see and do...😞

On a less depressing note, I got a lot of new pets. I got a job at the vet, and day four into my job, a couple of big ol' king shepherds came in; they were strays. (I theorize they came from a puppy mill.) Anyway, I adopted the female, and the male was sent to a shelter for german shepherds. Korra, that's what I named her, started getting fat not too long into my owning her. Or so I thought. A couple months later, I went from owning one dog to owning eleven. She had been pregnant and we were in major denial, lol. Anyway, the birth went well, all the babies were healthy, even the runt was doing good at first. She didn't end up making it, she was half the size of the others and some time into the second day, she stopped eating. Korra was sad when her baby died, but after about ten minutes of leaning over the runt protectively, she let me take her. I don't know if her instincts said it was best for the other puppies or what, but she eventually let it happen. After the eight weeks were up, and with the help of my childhood friend, we got all the puppies new homes. I kept one, named him Mikey. She and her parents kept a couple. She named her puppy Fonzie, and her parents named theirs Butch. All three get to go to the park on Sundays and play together. Korra doesn't go too often because she's protective of Mikey and we're working on that, but for now, she's too aggressive and by no means a small dog, so baby steps.

Edit: Captain passed away in November. It was particularly upsetting to me because he was sick before I left for Arizona for a few weeks, and I wasn't going to go if I thought he wasn't going to make it, but everyone insisted he'd be okay and that I should go. He didn't make it, and I hate that I didn't get to say goodbye...but he passed in his sleep at the vet, and he was on medication that kept most of his pain at bay...and that's probably all I could ask for...because they had called the day before asking if we wanted to have him put down, and we never got to make that decision...I feel like it was better that way...it always hurts more to have to put them down...Edit over.

My boyfriend and I also got a kitten. It's cute; he's never really had a pet of his own before and he's super excited about it. I wish I could describe to you the wonder and amazement on his face when he saw Victor use his litter box for the first time 😂 He just picked right up on it, and my boyfriend was so proud 🥰How we came about getting Victor is a little bit more depressing. Or stressful. I don't know; I'll tell you what happened and you can decided. His mom had a few cats, and Big Girl was pregnant. She had four little babies, one of them being Victor. I kept making jokes about wanting to keep him, but my boyfriend and mom were both adamant that I had more than enough pets--which is fair because I do, lol--anyway, they were hitting about seven or eight weeks old when my boyfriend and I were leaving one morning. He was taking me home before he went to work. He turned on the car and we heard a blood curdling screech from in the hood. I panicked and got out just in time to see a kitten run out from under the car dragging its front paw and trying to get away. I caught him and started panicking and crying because his paw was bleeding and I could see bone and I was just in a frenzie. My boyfriend had to get to work though--sometimes his work ethics are cute, sometimes they are frustrating 🙃--so I called my mom on the way to my house and told her what all had transpired and to have a crate ready because we were going to the vet. She called the vet to let them know ahead of time and when we got there, Victor was immediately taken back and examined. Long story short, the belt in the car had cut through two of his finger bones but the rest of the cut was superficial. They decided he would need surgery and sutures. We agreed, we paid, we prayed he lived through the surgery, and then we waited. Good news is that Sweet Baby lived, he barely had a limp despite almost losing his paw, he hated his sutures, and now he runs around and plays with Theo like nothing ever happened, lol. And my boyfriend just adores Victor, and it's very cute 🥰

Anyway, I couldn't stay at the vet because I kept getting sick and breaking out in hives and, turns out, I'm allergic to nearly everything under the sun except for foods and lizards 🙃 I decided to go into real estate like my mom instead, and I just finished up all my classes and am ready to go into the thick of it!! Wish me luck in that endeavor 😁👍

So anyway, I can't think of anything else at the moment. That's my life update--Oh! I got covid from my mom. My quarantine ended literally two days ago, but I only had a cough. That being said, I've been suffering from a sinus infection for well over a month now, and got my period in the middle of it all, so that was awful 🙃 But! All of this is to tell you that I'm hoping to get back into my writing soon, and can present you guys with all the things I never got to finish or would totally love to start!! 😁

There's no set date on when I think I'll have anything ready, but I'm hoping over the next month or so, I can put out the third part of the Papa Makedon series out. I also hope over the course of the week I can start looking at all the asks I'm sure tumblr never told me I had 🙃

Love you, babes!! I hope you all have kept safe and healthy, and I hope to get back with you soon 😁🤙

---

Here's my sweet girl Korra with all her babies. I believe they were about a couple days old at that point.

And here's my Mikey, as a wee one and as a big boy ❤ He's turning one on August 3rd you guys~ 🥰

And here's little Victor (please excuse the food on his nose, I thought it was adorable, lol. I've just mostly got videos of him, and not too many pictures 😅)

[akvtsuki-ari]

A Study In Body Language: v. love is a virtue

Warnings: smut! unprotected sex, mild angst, but other than that mostly fluffy. 

Length: 6.5k

Authors Note: holy shit yall. we did it. 25000 words, 5 chapters and a whole lot of emotional turmoil, we fuckin did it. i will be writing an epilogue for this story but for now, here it is - a study in body language. hope yall have enjoyed this wild ride 

Plot Summary: Spencer realizes how deep he’s fallen, and reads something that changes his plans of confession. Love is beautiful, apparently. 

Link to the song mentioned: 1000 Times by Sara Bareilles 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

He overhears you in the bullpen. You’re not sad when you talk about it, and maybe he was a little too hopeful to hear you clearly but you sounded relieved. He hopes you’re relieved but he doesn’t know how to deal with that feeling. He doesn’t feel sorry for himself but he could drown in the relief when you say you broke up with Jay. A weight off of his shoulders, off of his consciousness. For a moment he wasn’t so damn restless. You were single but he doesn’t know what that changed. Everything felt different, shit everything was different. The world that he’d come to know was shattered underneath the weight of this feeling. 

“Why’d you two break up?,” JJ asks. She’s curious, but Spencers hanging on your voice for the answer. His whole body relaxes. You pause, maybe you’re shrugging. 

“I don’t know - I think we both realized that this wasn’t gonna be long-term but we’ll always be cool. He’s a really good guy, but we have different wants, I think,” you say casually. You don’t sound sad. 

“You don’t seem upset,” Prentiss comments. Spencers happy he’s not delusional. 

“I’m not. The whole thing was really mutual and I loved him but not as anything more than friends really and he feels the same so I’m okay,” You say casually. He doesn’t hear much else, so he walks away before you can turn the corner and see him. 

Rain beats on the windows when Spencer walks away. It’s been raining for days now, the darkness seemed to be encompassing but it was nice. Spencer liked rain, watching it when he needed to think and it seems like he was having to do that more often these days. Rain wasn’t somber to Spencer, as much as it was a sobering reminder. Rain made him think of you, but most things did so he isn’t sure if it’s any deeper than that. Everything made Spencer think of you. 

Spencer couldn’t stop himself from thinking of you. It was a crushing realization that you were in love with someone and that you would do anything to make them happy. It was always apart of him, he couldn’t catch a break without being reminded of how much he adored you. Things continued as normal but he was working hard to make sure of that. He didn’t want to lose you, or hurt you so he tried so hard to make sure things were okay, even if it killed him slowly. He wanted to call you his, because in his heart of hearts, he wanted you to think of him as yours. Spencer was overwhelmed every time he saw you because it was you. You were you and he’d give you everything if you asked for it. He would rob the stars in the sky for you, he would steal the sun for you to keep, he would do anything to make you happy. That realization was crushing and Spencer was unsure if you had any clue.

__

The work day passes normally. Everyone was ready to go home, though some of the team wanted to hang at O’Keefes for a drink but you and Spencer passed. They all gave each other knowing looks, that Spencer became aware of when he realized he liked you. You still seemed clueless, and that was a scary enough thought. Spencer just flushed as he sees everyone walk out to the elevator, leaving you and him alone for the night. 

“Any special plans, Spence?,” you ask Spencer, fiddling with the strap of your bag as you two waited for the next elevator to come. Spencer shakes his head, looking at your stance and smiling. The bag was too big for you, clearly too heavy on your shoulders but he knew you’d never get rid of it. It was a thing about you he’d picked up from before. 

“Not really, no. Might go home and watch some TV, though I don’t know what,” Spencer replies thoughtfully. You nod in understanding, letting out a huff of frustration as you let go of your bag problem. Spencer just chuckles as he stands in front of you, fixing up the buckle before the strap. You look up at him with a grateful grin, and he feels his heart pound. Love, love, love on his mind when he looks at you. He feels a bit sick, but he figures it’s a symptom that seems to swallo him. 

You wrap your arms around Spencer and lay your face in his chest.He wonders if you can hear how hard his heart is pounding but it doesn’t seem like you notice. You nuzzle into him, and it seems to be so subconscious for you. He wants to ask himself if this was friends did but he knew better - this was too complicated for such simple questions. He hugs you back, taking a breath and you pull away and look up at him. His eyes are a pretty green, spots of brown speckling them but they look hazel in the light. You’d see them sometimes when he woke up and they’d fall under the sunlight. You always liked them and maybe you look too long, so you pull away. Spencer wishes you didn’t but the moments gone before he can protest. 

The elevator dings. The doors both open as the two of you travel down together. Spencer wants to offer you some company but he can’t tell himself too when he knows his own intentions. 

____

Spencer was alone. It was the wordless night that seemed to eat at him, even though the clock had only barely scraped by to 11. Lately, Spencer doesn’t have trouble sleeping but it seems like that would change soon. Thoughts of you were cocoon his thoughts. He felt so stuck, because he wants to tell you how he feels - but the risk is too great. Too much of a burden to bear because he has no clue about how you feel. He assumes you don’t return those feelings but if you did -  he wasn’t sure if anything would change. That reality is far more crushing than not knowing at all. 

One thing Spencer did when he was thinking of you was read your letters to him. Those letters were more important for his sanity than he wanted to admit. You told him of everything, gave him daily reminders of why he needed to see the world again. Your return was more than waited on, but prayed for. A selfless act in self-preservation on your behalf, and a brave one on Spencers. 

The first letter dates a few weeks after Spencer was in rehab. You’re so different in writing, maybe more honest because you aren’t thinking so much. Spencer doesn’t know how to explain it but he likes the way you write. 

Dear Genius, 

Congrats on a whole 3 weeks!! I’m so proud of you, and I’m happy to hear you like group therapy. I loved your clown painting, by the way and I want it framed for my apartment ASAP - seriously I had no clue you were so good at art. I also want pictures of when you guys have group therapy with those service dogs because that is so cute!!! Excited for the next letter just for that. 

Updates on my life are pretty boring but you asked so I’ll deliver. My dad is doing okay right now. We’ve talked a lot and he’s sorta mulled over my chilhood and apologized about well… all of it. It was a bit much, to be honest but thats okay. I’ll get through it, especially when I have these letters to look forward too. I met someone sorta too, he’s from DC but he moved into my neighborhood. He’s nice, but who knows, you know? 

Also, you told me to keep sending you new music to listen too, but honestly I just wanna send you radio hits. You should listen to The-Weeknd, maybe Starboy? I mostly just wanna see how you feel about stuff people listen to on the car radio haha. I don’t know, but either way, hope you like the song. 

Anyways, I love you and I’m looking forward to our next correspondence. Good luck always, and keep yourself strong. 

Best Wishes,

Y/N 

Spencer smiles big. The kind of smile that reaches the lines in his eyes and makes his whole body relax. He replies with what you ask for, he remembers. He had a picture of him with an Australian Shepherd from therapy that you framed and put on your desk. He remembers how much you liked it, though he wasn’t sure why. He hadn’t sent you the clown painting yet because it seemed to slip his mind but he reminds himself to give it to you. He looks through more letters, reading the different one-sided exchanges. He reads your weekly updates about the community mural that you painted with all the kids while you were back home. He reads about the different volunteers, and how your childhood friend who you lost touch with had moved back and had a baby. Her name was Ellie, and you loved her. He comes across the letter where your dad passed away, only a month into your trip. 

Dear Spencer, 

Hey kid. I’m happy to hear about your progress!! I know it’s been tough because you’ve hit that middle slump but I know you. I know you’ll get through, it just takes time and you’re doing great keeping your head above water. I love you and I’m so proud of you, you’re gonna go far. 

I know I sound different here, it’s because my dad passed away last night. He passed quietly, stubborn bastard. I cried, more than I was expecting. He’s the last person of blood who would claim me as family and he just sorta disappeared. It’s just weird, how little i seem to feel. I was sad but it was weird, more emptying than anything but in a fucked up way I was relieved. I don’t know. I suppose it’s complicated

It made me think of you, in a weird way, I guess. You told me to send you music and I guess this is my indirect way of telling you stuff, but you should listen to 1000 times by Sarah Barielles. I don’t really know what to make of it but thanks for being a good friend and I’m grateful for what we have as friends always. You’re a good person, Spencer. 

Anyways, let me know if anything changes and good luck next week. I miss you, but I know we’ll see eachother again soon and things will be good. Keep sending me pictures of Dianes cat also because she’s so cute and I love her. Thanks for everything. 

Love always, 

Y/N 

 Spencer looks at the song you sent. He normally listens to every single one but that week he had already used up all of his computer time to read the articles from your local newspaper and he never got a chance too after that. He figures now was a good time, always having a piece of you when he got that music. Even if the song wasn’t his style, it made him think of you and for him that was most than enough. It was a blessing in a lot of ways to have a part of you that only he knew of. It was music anyone could listen to but the meaning was his alone. Spencer opens up his laptop and types in the song title. He presses play, awaiting whatever pop ballad you had waiting for him

Then the lyrics start to play and Spencer feels sick,” 

“Again again I let it go, let it go/ Cover my mouth don't let a single word slip/ Out wouldn't wanna tell you, no tell you, no/ Nothing could be worse than the risk of/ Losing what I don't have now,” 

Shit. 

Spencers heart drops to the bottom of his stomach. He feels like he’s going to die, and he doesn’t know how else to explain this feeling of detriment. You told Spencer you loved him a full month before he even realized how far deep he was and he just… didn’t acknowledge it. Spencer wanted to throw up, every visceral feeling of panic banging on the inside of his chest and threatens to crush his heart under the weight. Spencer could feel it in his throat, as he scrambles to find his phone your contact, dialing your number as he feels the drum of his heartbeat. His fingers shake as he hears you pick up on the other side.

“Hello?,” 

Your voice makes Spencer ache. Spencer breathes out, unable to speak for a few seconds. You look confused on the other side of the phone. 

“Spencer?,”

Your voice is all Spencer hears yet your words feel distant. His voice is abysmal and small when he speaks - the words trapped in the maze of thoughts, unable to be expressed correctly. Spencer coughs before he talks, trying to clear his airways even though nothing was really wrong. 

“Are you home and are you busy?,” Spencer asks, tears threatening to run down his face before his voice can give out 

“I’m home but I’m not busy, why? Is everything okay? ,” Panic is subtle in your voice, Spencer swallows thickly. 

“Yeah, yeah - I’m okay. Can I come over?,” Spencer asks, voice quiet. 

“Of course, Spencer. See you soon, and drive safe - the weather is still bad so you gotta be careful,” you say warmly. 

“Yeah, of course. See you soon,” Spencer replies. The line clicks and Spencer stares into his phone. He picks his care keys up and puts on a jacket, knowing he’d still get caught up in the rain. 

____

The rain is heavier than it was before. It was late, the clock reads 11:45  and Spencer can’t see much as water spills from the grey clouds that hung over his head. It was peaceful, almost. When you ignore the feeling of imminent panic and anxiety that washes over him, the rain is soothing to his ears as heavy as it. Spencer hands around the steering wheel are gripped tight enough to make the pads of his fingers white. His skin is hot, chest covered in a light sheen of sweat as he thinks of what's going to happen when he gets there - or moreso, if anything has happened. Spencer's thoughts are deafened by his own uncertainty - he owes it to you to tell you but if it’s too late for him he may never come back from that. He needed to tell you because you deserved to know but the thought of nothing happening hurts him. He’d rather you didn’t know but that’s not fair.

Spencer's thoughts of your ex-boyfriend pop up and he feels guilty. He’s tearing himself to pieces finding every reason in the world not to tell you, but he had to make the right choice because you were braver than he could ever be. He wants to show you he’s changed and that he won’t run from this. He refused to run from you. 

His hands shake when he knocks. His hair is wet and the water seems to soak through parts of his old jacket. He looked like a mess he was sure but it didn’t matter. Spencer was so anxious, he doesn’t remember the last time he ever felt this anxious. 

When you open the door with a smile - that’s when Spencer knows you were the love of his life. He just looked at you, looks at you with sunken eyes that flit over your face with a feeling you can’t explain. Spencer needed you, maybe more than you needed him. 

“Hey, Spencer,” You say warmly. Spencer walks inside and you close the door behind him. He looks at you for a second, taking his jacket off as he just looks to you in silence. He wants to spit the words out, he wants to say them so the two of you can get caught up together. Spencer wants to be yours, and for you to be his and then some. Spencer loves you. 

“What’s up?,” you ask quietly, seating yourself next to Spence whose found himself a spot on the couch. You grab his hands and play with his fingers for a few seconds, the touch is just so damn intimate. You loved Spencer, so much more than you could explain. You had that little anxious bubble in your chest about what could happen - that ‘maybe’ that brought you so many restless nights. You wondered if today was the day but before you go to dismiss the thought, you feel Spencers hands under your chin. He lifts your face up, eyes examining your face carefully. His scruff was nice, he looked different than before. 

Before you can ask, Spencer kisses you. It’s out of character, and in many ways out of place for him. He’s not the type to kiss anyone out of the blue but he doesn’t know else to break the tension with any language other than physical. It's the way his lips melt to yours, the way you kiss him back immediately, the way his lips have a way of holding yours. The way his hands hold your face up. It was everything that made you remember that Spencer was fucking kiss you. Kissing you like he was the reason he was breathing. Curled around your very existence, with his lips giving you their every secret. This kiss was an exchange in secrets, but more than an assurance. Spencer kisses you, and you kiss him back and the whole universe is still. 

When Spencer pulls away, you’re more than speechless. You look at Spencer, looking in his eyes for regret and you find none. Solace, maybe but no regret. You just look down, too scared to look at him again but he stops you, lifting your face up again. 

“Don’t hide from me please,” Spencer croaks “I need to look at you,” 

“Why?,” 

“To make sure you’re real,” Spencers confession makes your body heat up. 

“What’s gotten into you?,” you laugh nervously. You think Spencer will follow in suit, going back to being silly with you like normal but he doesn’t falter. He holds both of your hands and looks down, your eyes still fixated on him. Spencer sighs. 

“I read your letter, from when your dad died. I never had a chance to listen to that song, but I did. I normally did but that one somehow managed to miss me and..,” he trails off, like his thoughts are moving too fast for him to say what he wants to. You swallow thickly. So he knows, you figure. 

“It’s okay if you don’t, you know, return those feelings,” your voice chokes out. Spencer laughs. 

“You’d be a fool to think something like that,” Spencer says earnestly. You choke a little violently. 

“Oh?,” 

Spencer turns to look at you again. His eyes are full of something, and this time you know the feeling. You give it to him often, that look of adoration That “You’re so stupid, please marry me,” look you give to the person you want to love most in this life. 

“My whole life, I couldn’t afford to believe in anything related to destiny. I didn’t believe in miracles, or destiny, or a lot of other things for a long time. Sometimes I still don’t, like when cases go so bad that the whole team is left with that hollow feeling,” Spencer starts “I try my best to remember joy and happiness, and sometimes I do believe in miracles but it’s not everyday. Sometimes the pain was just too heavy,” 

“When I started taking dilaudid again, I was just trying to cope with the pain. My life can feel like a series of unfortunate events sometimes,” Spencer says softly. The grip he has on your hands tightens just a little bit. 

“I’ve been wanting to give you this confession for weeks, but like always you’ve proved to be more brave than I could ever be. Of course you figured it out first, who could be surprised but,” Spencer pauses for a second. 

“You’re the love of my life. Maybe it’s too much to say right now, maybe enough time hasn’t passed for me to decide that but if I said anything less I’d be lying to you, and I don’t want to lie to you ever again,” Spencers voice is barely above a whisper. 

“Y/N, you’re the only woman I could ever love this much. Those two months, those words that you gave me are what kept me sane. It was thoughts of your voice and your touch that kept me alive. It was your kindness that gave me strength, your love that gave me courage. It was you that reminded me of what it feels like to have hope, and perhaps even believe in miracles and destiny,” Spencers crying and so are you, but you still managed to hold eachother. 

“I’m wholly in love with you. I really don’t know how to say anything else. Please be mine because for now, loving you is all I really want to do,” Spencer says the last part with a small voice. The butterflies in your stomach make it hard for you to speak and you’re crying so much you have a headache. You want to kiss him, and say something back but for now you’re just crying a little bit. You’d clear all the grey clouds in the world to give Spencer some sunshine. 

“It’s always been you, dickhead,” you say through giggles. Spencer loves the sound of your laugh, if he could he would bottle up and keep it for himself to wear around his neck. Spencer wants to wear your name around your neck so the whole world knew he was yours and you were his. 

You can’t hold yourself back from moving into Spencer's lap, bare thighs over his legs as you lean into his neck. You adored Spencer and you knew that for so long, but you always figured he didn’t feel the same. That song was your confession, and when he didn’t listen you always figured he didn’t feel it. Miscommunication is a hell of a drug, you figure. You were here now, wrapped in Spencer and more than ready to give him all of you. You adored Spencer, the way his mind worked full of cogs and his heart was full of affection. It was everything Spencer did when he was getting better, giving you purpose. Spencer made you feel at ease, always. Even when bad things seemed to swallow you up, Spencer gave you ease. 

You look up at Spencer, there are small tears in your eyes when you do. You straddle his lap, and kiss him again. Holding your waist, Spencer smiles. He’s so grateful to be touching you like this. Spencer wants all of you to himself and he’d be damned if he was selfish for it. 

“Spencer,” your voice is small, but happy. Spencer hums, wrapped up in the way the two of you kiss for him to be upset. You look up at him, into him in the way only you can and speak again. 

“Make love to me,” your question is quiet. Spencer immediately became a little unsteady but he understood your request. That term “make love,” used to gross you out but you got it now. Sex and love are different - but sometimes you used sex to make love. To feel someone so close to you like that, you wanted to make love with Spencer. You wanted to have marks all over your skin so that the sight of him could be there forever, and for him to fuck you like you were the only thing he needed. Spencer wanted to make you feel wanted, and you wanted him to want you all the same. So, Spencer smiles, places a hand on boths sides of your face and kisses you slowly. Spencer loves you, adores you and wants to make you feel beautiful. 

“You wanna go to your room?,” Spencer asks. You nod, and Spencer lifts you up before carrying you. You’re wrapped around him, yelping at his surprising strength. 

Spencer lays you down, eyes glassy as he looks at your figure. He’s admiring you - he wants to make you feel pretty. You’re the prettiest woman in the world to him, and all he wants to do is make you feel it. He leans into you, his body pressed to yours as your legs are tangled. Spencer always cradles your face when he kisses you, as if he’s trying to hold you as close to him as possible. Spencer treats you like glass, his touch an ink stain leaving your body with permanent color as he kisses you. His tongue pushes past your lips softly, before pulling back. His fingers are so nimble, tugging with the sides of your shirt, staving himself off as he feels your bare thighs. 

His mouth moves to your neck, peppering kisses along the sides of the column of your throat. He grips your thighs, feeling your wrap your legs around his waist pulling him closer. Spencer tugs at the ends of your shirt, detaching from you so you can get it off. He chokes at the sight of you without your top on and you can’t help but hide your face. Spencer's face leans in, taking your nipple in his while he uses his free hand to gently brush against the other one. 

“You’re beautiful, you look so good like this,” Spencer comments. A soft whine escapes your lips at the combination of words and Spencers touch. He was sweet with every movement but damn he had way too many clothes on. 

“Spence, take it off,” you whine. Spencer gives you a small laugh, taking off his shirt before hovering over you again. His body was surprisingly toned from being out in the field and you definitely weren’t upset about seeing it. Your hands find their way around his waist, touching his skin in appreciation. He gives you a shy smile, before his head ducks down again, moving to kiss down past your breasts to your stomach and above your naval. His kisses are gentle, mouth careful in leaving them in as many places as possible. He stops when he ghosts his mouth over your panties, placing a kiss on your vulva - a wet spot formed on the light color. Spencer moves to kiss your thighs, getting close to your center and taking his time with it. Small hickies take place all along your skin, Spencer wanted to mark the word “mine,” into your skin with his mouth. He wanted you to think of him always, but especially when you were doing this. 

Your breaths are staggered and heavy, as Spencer rubs you down with his hands - palms massaging your legs as he touched you. For the first time in your life, when someone touched you could feel how much they meant it. Maybe it’s because Spencer manages to make things you’ve felt before feel different - he makes everything feel better. 

Spencer slides your panties down your legs carefully. His eyes are low when he sees your clit, sensitive and aching for his attention. He places a kiss on it first before he sticks his tongue out flat for you. Your fingers grip his hair immediately, legs wrapped around his shoulders where you could see him shift his weight to unzip his jeans and get himself off which only worked you up farther. Spencer eats you out like he’s been starved of you his whole life, head rhythmic as he brings you to your orgasm and slows down. He’s making an attempt to savor you but enjoys the sound of irritation you make every time he stops, something he’d explore farther at a later date. You’d gotten head before but it always came off as a favor and not like your partner wanted to do it for you. Spencer made sure you knew he wanted just as much as you did. 

You orgasm in Spencer mouth twice in borderline succession as Spencer refuses to pull away, smiling as he holds your hips down and makes your whole body shiver. You have to catch your breath when he finally spares you and gives you a toothy-boyish grin of satisfaction that you only ever saw when he beats you in a card game. You look down at him adoringly, wanting to cry at how lucky you felt. You pull him to kiss you and he looks at you for a second - a questioning one since he just had his tongue inside you. You roll your eyes in a “duh, that’s the point way,” and Spencer swallows thickly. 

“Do you want me to return the favor? Because I’m more than happy too,” you say reaching for his dick, which twitched at your touch. Spencer shakes his head. 

“Not right now, wanna focus on you tonight,” Spencer replies. You look at him with the most affectionate puppy dog eyes and Spencer bursts out into full giggles. God, he loved you. 

“Can I?,” Spencers question is tentative, and all you do in response is open your legs up wider for him and give him a nod. You mouth a “please,” to him and Spencer just smiles, kissing you softly. 

Spencer stretches you out so fucking good. He’s careful, whispering pretty nothings about how beautiful you are and how lucky he was. The words were only fuel to the fire as you tighten around Spencer and some choked sound leaves his throat. Out of curiosity, you do it again and Spencer moans aloud. You give him a raised eyebrow and his voice is suddenly low. 

“Do that again and I’ll cum,” Spencer warns. You giggled for a second before looking up at Spencer's face. 

“You can cum in me if you’d like to,” you say, voice innocent  “I’m on the pill,” Spencer wants to cum right then and there but he pauses to take a deep breath. 

“Think I’ll have to take you up on that,” Spencer groans. You use one hand to rub your clit as Spencer pulls his hips back and starts to fuck you. The motion is slow at first, not wanting to hurt you but your voice in his ear only urges you to go deeper. 

“I’m so lucky to have you like this love, you’re so pretty for me,” Spencer's praises are so sweet to you. Sugar to aching ears when he speaks lovely words for you. You whine. 

“Spencer please cum in me - god, please,” you egg Spencer on as you get yourself off one last time. Spencer presses his forehead to yours, pausing for a second to kiss you sweetly before pounding into you again. 

“Shit,” Spencer's voice feels like it gets stolen from him as he finishes inside, feeling your orgasm aftermath convulse around him pushes him off the edge as you look at him warmly, a soft blush flooding your expression. 

“I love you so much,” you giggle to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and allowing him to rest his body weight on you. Spencer wants to stay with you like this forever, wanting to wrap you up in his arms and hold you for eternity. He was hoping you’d let him. 

“I wanna stay like this, but let’s go get cleaned up first,” you say thoughtfully “I can wash your hair for you and we can shower together,” you say softly. Tears well up in Spencers eyes - remember the last time you did just that for him. He nods softly, burying his face in your neck, kissing new bruises that were soon to become dark purples. 

____

You come out of the shower first as you hear a knock on your door. It’s been a few minutes and the knocking has been incessant, you figure it’s a neighbor or maybe someone who needed help. You wrap your robe around yourself and towel around your hair before you open up the door. 

To your fucking dismay, it’s JJ, Emily, and Penelope - all stood outside with a bottle of wine as a greeting. Your eyes pop open immediately as you try to brush away the panic and give them all a fake smile. 

“Hey guys! What are you all doing here so late?,” you ask, internal panic threatening your life. They all give you a knowing look. 

“Well, we wanted to talk to you about something and we figure -,” Garcia starts but is interrupted by the sound of Spencer's voice, calling out to you as he walks out of the shower and in view of the open door. He can’t see them, but they can see him and he’s covered in hickies. You shut your eyes in disbelief as they all go dead silent. 

“Oh - oh my god is that Spencer?,” JJ asks shocked. You’re going to throw yourself in front of a bus. 

“Shit,” Spencer bolts into the other room leaving you to deal with the mess. You were so gonna get him for that later. You give them all an apologetic look. 

“We, uh - yeah,” you say a little distant. They all just giving you a knowing look, even Garcia even though that’s mixed with a bit of disgust. 

“We’ll see you on Monday, Y/N,” Emily says, being an angel and cutting the conversation short. You just nod as she drags a blabbering Garcia and deadsilent JJ away, reminding yourself to send her a thank you note later on. You walk into the room with Spencer and he gives you a guilty look, eyes apologetic as you roll your eyes, walking up to him to kiss him. 

“You’re so goddamn lucky I like you, dickhead,”

“You like me?,” Spencer asks, wrapping his arms around your waist before falling over to lay down with you. 

“Oh shut up, you know I do,” your tone is mean but your face gives you away. Spencer kisses you long and slow before looking at you again. The room is barred with loving silence, it feels every part of the air. It’s domestic, soft and adoring. A person whose love made you feel child-like joy but whose being brought your soul such comfort. You and Spencer lay in your bedroom like that for a while. 

“We should change right?” you ask laughing. Spencer nods. 

“I have clothes for you in my dresser,” you remind. Spencer nods as he stands up, slipping on some boxers and a shirt. You change into some old college pj’s and shorts and get laid up next to Spencer. 

There’s this silence that fills the room. It’s difficult to describe, the feeling of it is so new and hard to pinpoint exactly. You can feel it just barely on your skin, the way Spencer's arms hold your waist as the two of you lay next to each other, closing the gaps of space that fall between you - just itching for that familiar feeling of closeness. Spencer Reid was the closest thing to heaven you ever got - scruffy face and curious eyes. It’s hard to find truth in another person, yet stil Spencer shows up for you and kisses away all your nightmares. Loving him was so certain, but the fact that he loved you too felt unreal, still. Maybe it always would. It was a lot for you to take in but the feeling of him at your side, face on your chest sleepily messing with your hands. The way he looks up at you with such a pretty expression, mouthing the words I love you. It was the silence in the room and the cadence it managed - the soft and lulling adoration buzzing the nerves on your skin and kissing you awake. This was more than love, but faith. A regained faith in the notion that good things really can happen to good people. Spencer's love to you was a promise from the universe that good things are always around you even if you don’t see it at first. 

Spencer is so relaxed against you now, you read his body language and can feel his exhaustion. You were so attuned to him, fingers aching  to run through his hair and tell him how proud you were. Spencer made your heart light - his beaming smile turning you flush. Beautiful - him, this, the universe. Loving Spencer made the world feel so beautiful, even though both of you encountered such darkness in it. You were going to marry him someday, you were so sure of it. Someday you and Spencer would grow old and live with some livestock in a cottage somewhere far from here like he wanted. Or maybe a house in the suburbs with two babies you call your own - and a cat, and a dog too. Anything would work for you, but Spencer is probably a bit more picky. 

For you and Dr. Spencer Reid, love has always been a case study in body language. People lie, or hide the truth when they talk - so the two of you have never fallen in love with the words you may exchange. Instead you’ve fallen in love with the gentle touches, the longing glances and lingering hugs - or the feeling of their skin on yours when the night is too cold to be alone. It was the dilating pupils, and the feelings that universe seemed to fall away when the two of you shared looks to each other. You fell for Spencers subconscious before you ever fell for his mind or his body - the little things he did like raising his shoulders when he was happy, or fiddling with your hands when he was deep in thought, you fell in love with the things Spencer would never see for himself and he did the same for you. Spencer fell for the way you moved without thinking. For the person you were when all the curtains were closed. 

Love is anything but conscious. Love is deep-rooted in the sheer notion of that being alive is worth something, which is to say love is the basis of life. Not romantic love - but all love. Love is the basis of life. Spencer Reid loved you, sharing a piece of his life. In returns you gave him yours. An eye for an eye can give us sight we could never have before, if the exchange is born of adoration. 

There are still so many unresolved knots to tie, but for now it didn’t matter. Just like those first two months, Spencer is laying at your side and he smells like you. For now, he was here with you - as the two of you fell so deeply for each other as the seconds passed. There are so many questions to answer, but that’s okay for now. 

You two had all the time in the world to figure the rest out, and for him - thats more than enough. 

This silence was more than enough.

____

taglist:  @cynbx​ @zephyr-studiesjp​ @skrrrrrrrrrrt​ @reid-187​ @louistwinslover​ @pastanest​ @nomajdetective​ @iamburdened​ @secretlyablueunicorn

[saharamae21]

Never Ran Smooth (Part 17)

Hey guys. This is going to be a little bit of a longer author’s note, but I thought I should update you all on a few things. I’ve been really under the weather mentally in the past few days. I think its being on my own and a few other personal things going on in my life that have just made everything seem less okay than normal. Due to this, my updates have been getting pushed back and my sleep schedule is completely messed up. I’m trying really hard to get back to the point where I feel alright, so if I miss a day of updating/writing anything at all, I’m sorry. Writing has been a huge outlet in my mental wellbeing in the past couple of weeks and I am so overwhelmed (in a good way) with the amount of support I’ve received. Thank you all.

_________________________________________________________

If we have unearned luck

My brother checked on me periodically throughout the rest of the night. He brought me ice for my bruises and painkillers to ease my suffering. However, after the parents were in bed and fell fast asleep, Jasp called it a night too. I tried to just lay there and fall asleep, but my mind was racing with the possibilities of what could’ve happened to my friends. If Barry did this to me, what’s stopped him from hurting everyone else. I forced myself up and hobbled to my car. I snuck out of the driveway easily and made my way to the chateau, praying JJ wasn’t there. In the back of my mind, I knew he didn’t mean what he had said, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. Plus he could still be upset with me right now and I just didn’t even know what to say to him. I parked quickly and peaked in the window. I saw Kie and Pope chatting on the pullout couch, but no sign of JJ. I knocked quickly and Kie let me in.

“Jesus, did you get hit by a bus?” Kie said loudly. I could hear the shower going in the room over, meaning JJ was here. I shushed her and sat down painfully. “Did your dad do this?”

“No,” I said, trying to get comfortable. I shifted and felt my ribs arch. I winced and finally just stopped moving. “Barry did this.”

“You saw Barry?” Pope asked nervously.

“Yeah. I came to warn you guys,” I forced the words out. I heard the shower stop and felt my anxiety raise. “I needa go.”

“You cannot drive home like this,” Pope said.

“If I’m not home when my dad wakes up, he’s going to kill me,” I said. I gritted my teeth and tried to get up, but Kie held me back. I heard the bathroom door click and began to panic. I could see JJ. He couldn’t see me like this. I got up quickly to try to leave as the door opened, but I moved too quickly and fell to my knees.

“Sav!” Kie said, kneeling next to me. I swallowed hard and looked up to meet JJ’s gaze. I felt my breathing pick up. He stood there in his tan shorts and bruises covered his chest. He was as beat up as me.

“Did Barry get you?” I asked. His face went white. He took a step forward and stopped as if he didn’t want to get too close to me.

“No? Why would-Did he do this to you?” he asked. Finally, he reached down and lifted my shirt. My side was straight purple. It hurt just from him looking at it. “Why didn’t you go to the hospital? Your ribs could be broken!”

“I’m fine,” I said, pulling my shirt back down.

“This is all my fault,” he mumbled. I felt uncomfortable, but I still forced myself to my feet.

“I need to go,” I said and JJ grabbed my wrist.

“You can’t drive like this,” he said. “Come on. I’ll drive your car back for you. Can you walk?”

I nodded, looking at Kie and Pope for backup. Kie looked at me apologetically and slung her arm over Pope’s should.

“I have to drive Pope back so he can rest for his scholarship interview in the morning,” she said. “Plus, we think you guys need to talk.”

With that, JJ was driving my car back to my house. I sat quietly and uncomfortably in the passenger seat. He never his eyes off the road, but I could tell he had something to say. When he was thinking it really showed on his face. His nose scrunched a little bit and it's almost as if I could see the gears moving in his mind. We got to the north side of the island and JJ finally opened his mouth.

“I’m sorry Sav,” he said, never taking his eyes off the road. “I never should’ve said any of that. You were try-” “It’s okay,” I said, interrupting him. Even if he didn’t mean them, it didn't mean there wasn’t truth behind them. “You were right.”

“What?” he asked, his eyes darting over to me. I felt him step on the breaks, but I couldn’t look him in the eyes as I explained what I meant.

“This was the first time I ever felt like I belonged anywhere and I got carried away,” I mumbled. “I wasn’t kidding anyone though. I was just some girl trying to invade a world that didn’t want her in it. I’m naive and will believe anything. That's why I’m not truly loved by anyone. You don’t have to apologize, JJ.”

“What did your dad say to you Sav?” he asked as we pulled into my driveway. I gathered all my courage and told him.

“And because you believe that, I will never love you,” I said. Almost the exact same words JJ had said hours before. I saw him tense out of the corner of my eye and got out of the car. I felt my ribs crack at the movement and felt my breath hitch.

“Sav!” JJ said a little too loud. I looked around frantically while covering his mouth. The sudden lunge at him made me collapse into his chest. My breath was frantic and rigid. JJ grabbed onto my arms, supporting my weight. “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“JJ, I can’t go,” I said, trying to convey my emotions in my voice. “Please just help me get to the boat.”

He gently scooped me up into his arms and cradled me, carefully avoiding the bruises. I could feel his heart beating in his chest. It was a small pitter-patter and it made my heart swell. Then I got a whiff of the familiar scent of weed and mint and it all became too much. I squirmed a little and told him to put me down, but he didn’t. “Savannah Grace, stop squirming,” he said, tightening his grip. I squirmed a little more and my elbow collided lightly with his side. I felt him wince and remembered all the bruises on him.

“Oh my God,” I said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit a bruise. I-I-”

Tears welled up in my eyes and my thoughts came back. He squeezed me a little in his arms as if to comfort me without hurting me. I finally gave up and just nestled into his arms. It was the least I could do in this situation. He was caring for me and I was being a brat. He slid the door open and turned the light on.

“You can just put me on that couch there,” I said.

“Where’s the bedroom?” he asked, ignoring my wishes. He walked straight down into the main cabin and looked around. He set me down gently in the main bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. I could see the guilt and pain in his eyes.

“What happened?” I asked, knowing that not all the pain was from me. I knew something was hurting him deeper under the surface. Even after everything that happened, I still loved him. It was weird that I didn’t know how to act around him or what to say to him anymore, but every ounce of my being still needed him by my side. I sat up carefully and scooted over on the bed, so he would have some more room. I could see the sad look on his face switch back and forth from neutral to heartbreak. He looked as if he was being tortured from the inside out. He took a deep breath, but nothing could’ve prepared him enough to tell this story. He spilled everything about his father. About how he blames JJ for his mom leaving and about how alcohol and drugs have affected every aspect of his life. I reached out and took his hand in mine and he just looked at me for a second.

“How don’t you hate me right now?” he asked, his tears threatening to overflow. I gave his hand a squeeze and smiled softly at him.

“Because I know you,” I said. “Or I like to think I do. I know that you don’t control your emotions the best and that you mean well even if it doesn’t always come across that way. By pushing me away, you hoped that you wouldn’t be the reason my life fell apart. Maybe I would get back on the path my dad wanted and everything in my life would be okay, but were far from that.”

“Sav…” he said.

“Just listen,” I demanded. “The relationship my family has is toxic and runs towards the goal of money and power. That’s not my goal though. I’d rather have people I love and care about next to me at all times. I’d rather have you, JJ” I said, staring at his hand in mine.

“I can’t give you anything,” he said. “Your side is like this because I-” “JJ,” I said sternly. “Don’t worry about that. Instead, worry about how to prevent it in the future. Worry about protecting me, not the things that have already happened.” “I just don’t want to hurt you,” he said. “What would I do if you got hurt again because of something I did?”

I let out a yawn and laid back down, pulling on his hand. I wanted him to stay with me. I moved over, making room for him to lay next to me. I heard him protest softly.

“Just stay with me. Please, just for tonight, stay by my side,” I said, reusing my words from that first night. The night before it all fell into place. I felt him slip under the covers with me and pull me softly into his arms. I placed my head in the crook of his neck and felt my whole body relax into his. I sleep so nicely next to him...

___________________________________________________

Tag List : @jjmaybangme @thebendslikebendover @justcallmesams @jellyfishbeansontoast @obxmxybxnk

[mypassionfortrash]

Quarantine dream: day one.

It’s the Great Quarantine of 2020, and you and Roger find yourselves cooped up together. Will you get on each others’ nerves, or do you love each other enough to weather the storm? Warnings: Mentions of really weird sex stuff (as a joke), strictly 18+ Notes: New fic. It’s a bit on the nose, but if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry! I’m going to try and update this daily. Full disclaimer, it was written quickly and might be very disjointed.

Day one.

The missus is working from home now. We’re essentially going to be housebound for the foreseeable. She’s already forbidden me from revving the Porsche too loudly in the garage, coming into her ‘designated work space’ between the hours of nine and five, and trying to help her with the cooking and cleaning. Apparently I’m ‘getting in the way.’  I’ve been cast out to my ‘man cave’ during the daytime... and god help me if I leave to scavenge for snacks or even a cuppa!

Which one lives, which one dies, we’ll see! I have a feeling only one of us is getting out of here alive.

In other news, John sent me a video of him and Ronnie in Tesco. Trolley piled high with TP. Now I have the overwhelming urge to brave the dreaded Coronavirus and get the shopping in a couple of days early.

I’m clearly going to go mad, aren’t I?

One more hour of work. That’s what you told yourself as you settled back at your makeshift desk in the spare room. One more hour and then you could get the dinner on. 

Working from home was harder than you imagined. Not having the commute was lovely, but only having contact with Roger – as much as you loved him – was enough to drive anyone to the edge of sanity.

And it was only day one.

Hunching over your laptop, you scrolled through the emails that had piled up during your tea break, now wishing you could just have a meeting. Times had changed and you didn’t have time for 800 word emails about your company’s next rebrand.

Soon enough, something out in the garden caught your eye.

Roger emerged from the garage, his white t-shirt spattered in dirt and grime from a day of tinkering with his collection of four-wheeled loves. He moved swiftly, shaking his head as he looked down at his phone.

You heard the back door slam closed and his footsteps trudge upstairs. Silently praying he wasn’t coming to bother you, you counted his footsteps in your head, imagining every door that lined the hall.

“You’re never going to believe this, darling!” Roger called.

Your eyes burst open the second he entered the room.

Roger leaned over you and thrust his phone in your face, so close you could barely see what was on the screen. “Look at John!” He screeched. “Look at him!”

“What am I looking at?”

Roger’s voice kept going up an octave every sentence until it made you wince. “The bastard’s cleared out Tesco! Look at his bloody trolley!”

Huffing and rolling your eyes, you turned around, going nose to nose with him. “How many kids does he have?”

Roger quietened down. “I don’t know,” he shrugged, “a lot?”

“Well, I don’t thi–”

“You’re not telling me that’s their weekly shop though. They’re stockpiling toilet roll! It doesn’t make you shit yourself! I’ve got a good mind to go down to Tesco and–”

“And what?”

Roger’s attitude came in peaks and troughs but now he looked utterly sheepish, sinking on to the edge of the bed and batting his lashes. “Maybe do the shopping a couple of days earlier? If you want.”

You sighed and leaned your head on the back of your chair, allowing your eyes to wander towards his. You couldn’t say no to him – he made it impossible for you. “One more hour of work and I’ll come with you to supervise.”

Roger’s eyes narrowed as a broad smile lifted his features. “Good.”

As Roger rose to his feet, you reached out to grab the hem of his shirt, pulling him into you. Your lips met with an audible sigh and a fleeting kiss. “And for the love of god, jump in the shower and change your clothes.”

“Why?” Roger smirked. “We’re only going out during the apocalypse.”

An hour and a clean shirt later, you and Roger bundled into the Range Rover to embark on the five-minute drive to Tesco, completely unsure of what you’d find when you arrived.

The radio droned on in the background, covering the latest developments from the Prime Minister’s daily press conferences. Roger listened on with disdain as he drove – he never had much time for politics at the best of times – but he still listened intently. The situation was getting serious enough to worry him. 

Boris bumbled through the airwaves but his message was clear: stay home.

“It’s what we should be doing,” you sighed, leaning forward to reach into your handbag.

“What?”

You took out a box of latex gloves. You, being the sensible and prepared one, always made sure you had some in the house. Blowing into one and slipping it on your hand, you mumbled your response. “Staying home.”

“What are those for?” Roger asked, glancing over at you snapping on the other glove.

“We’re being careful. But you can’t guarantee everyone else is.”

Roger’s hand found your thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze as the car spun around the corner into Tesco’s car park.

Neither of you were sure of what you were expecting. 

Chaos? Crowds? Cars everywhere? 

You and Roger sat in silence as the car thudded to a halt right at the front door. There wasn’t a soul in sight.

“This is creepy,” Roger stated. “Bet we’ll be going in to empty shelves.”

“It’s going to be ok,” you said, jumping out and heading towards the door. “Remember the shopping bags in the boot!”

You could hear Roger groan as he retraced his steps. “This is why I hate going shopping with you,” he grumbled, fumbling through the boot for the almighty Bag of Bags. “We’re rich enough,” he wittered, slamming the boot. “We can get plastic carriers.”

From the corner of your eye, you could see him stomping back to you as you grabbed a trolley. A small one, so Roger wouldn’t succumb to temptation.

“…All because some little Swedish girl’s bloody whining about the planet getting warmer… not a bad thing if you ask me.”

“What are you droning on about?” you asked, grabbing the Bag of Bags from him. You hoped that putting them in the small trolley would lessen the amount of space available to him too.

“Greta’s probably having a fucking field day,” Roger mumbled. “Us using those bloody sacks for the shopping. No cars on the road.”

“It’s not a bad thing. We’ve been in London how many years? And when have we ever been able to get a proper breath until now? I quite like the lack of traffic.”

“Make the most of being able to breathe, darling. Corona’s a bitch, I’ve heard.” 

The sight of the baron wasteland in front of you stopped you in your tracks. No people, no food, just rows and rows of empty shelves. 

“I have a list,” you said meekly, taking a crumpled piece of paper out of your pocket.

Roger laughed. “Good luck with that.” He barged past you, peering over his shoulder. “I’ll take the cleaning stuff, fruit and veg, and toiletries. You check the rest.”

Empty supermarkets were strange places. Flickering lights and empty shelves, the only sound came from the creaking wheels of your trolley as you snaked the aisles for something – anything – from your shopping list. The only items  left were either expensive or things you’d never be able to cobble a meal out of. Bread and pasta were non-existent in this liminal space, as were eggs and flour, so you couldn’t even make those from scratch. All you managed to find were two sorry looking ready meals, a bottle of gin and a tin of chopped tomatoes – none of which were on your optimistic list.

Roger didn’t do much better, either. He seemed to spring out of nowhere with armfuls of Bayliss and Harding soap at a fiver a pop, a two-litre bottle of bleach and one measly aubergine.

“What are we going to do with that?” you asked.

“What, the aubergine?” he smirked, waggling his eyebrows.”That gin might loosen me up enough.”

“Oh, fuck off! When have we eaten aubergine, Roger!”

“Well,” Roger began, grabbing the trolley, “it’s like that nature man from the telly says. Adapt, overcome… and...”

You glared up at him, “and?”

“I don’t even remember.”

“This is dire.”

Having checked out your scant supermarket haul, you and Roger embarked on the drive home, trying to figure out what you could do with the food you had found.

“I’ve always wanted to shove an aubergine up my arse,” Roger huffed.

“Why’d you think I kept these gloves? I’ve seen the weird shit you’ve been watching,” You mused. “Oh! Moussaka! We still have mince!” you squeaked, bobbing up and down in your seat.

“Kill the mood, why don’t you,” Roger laughed. “But yeah, moussaka could work.”

“I think this apocalypse thing might just turn out ok after all.”

[ghostspideys-moved]

All For The Best

Chapter Four

A/N: I’m trying to queue chapters ahead of time in the hopes of being a little more consistent with updating on time.

Word Count: 1.6k

Pairings: Steve Harrington x OC, Jonathan Byers x Nancy Wheeler x OC

Summary: Hawthorne is trying his best to keep Nancy and Jonathan from messing things up between each other. He’s not really sure how to do that on his own, though.

Hawthorne wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about getting dragged along again, especially after he’d heard how well that went over the last time. The last thing he wanted was for Nancy to push this too far.

It was pouring and dark out, and he didn’t really see what more they could do this late at night as it was. He rushed up to the door, his hair sticking to his face, and his jacket soaked.

What was worse was that Mrs. Driscoll didn’t answer despite Nancy’s frantic knocking. Sure, it was strange that the lights were on, and Nancy had a point. There was nowhere else she could reasonably be right now.

“Well, there isn’t anything we can do right now,” Hawthorne pointed out. “We’ll have to come back and try again tomorrow.”

Nancy didn’t seem too convinced, and when she tried the doorknob, it opened easily. This felt wrong.

Jonathan’s concern mirrored his, thankfully. “Woah, what are you doing?” 

“Maybe she fell.” Nancy might have had a point, but if she was wrong, they could all be in trouble, and that was the last thing any of them needed right now.

“Nancy, this is trespassing.” But she didn’t listen, and Hawthorne felt he had no choice but to follow her in. If she was going to get herself in trouble, one of them had to be there with her. Jonathan seemed just as stressed, but he followed anyways.

Nancy called out, to which there was no response. 

Hawthorne couldn’t help feeling that something very wrong was going on, but he hoped he was wrong. With his luck, he wouldn’t be. The house was eerily silent, save for the thunderstorm outside. 

The door to the basement was cracked open, and Nancy was quick to open as she headed down the creaky stairway. He hesitated at the door, hoping and praying they wouldn’t find anything horrible. Jonathan gave him a reassuring look — it was enough to make him feel like everything might be okay, no matter what happened — and they went down together, sticking close to each other for comfort. His unease refused to go away, even as Nancy turned on the light. Another bag of fertilizer lay mostly empty on the floor.

Worse yet, a horrific roaring sounded from somewhere in the basement, and the three of them armed themselves with whatever tools were scattered nearby. Hawthorne wasn’t too enthusiastic to see what was making that sound, but he prepared himself anyways.

The last thing he really expected to find was Mrs. Driscoll eating fertilizer. She didn’t look great, but he supposed no one would after something like that. 

Hawthorne barely found his voice long enough to say, “Maybe someone should call 911.”

The bad feeling had been sitting in Hawthorne’s stomach all day. As much as he hated the thought, this was definitely Upside Down related, and he already wanted nothing to do with it. 

What’s more, Nancy and Jonathan were called in, and he could already tell nothing good was going to come of it. On the one hand, who knew what could have happened if they hadn’t gotten Mrs. Driscoll some help. And on the other, this was going to look bad for Nancy and Jonathan. 

He’d promised to wait in the car, but it only made his anxiety go through the roof. He tapped his foot against the car floor as he waited for them to return. His mind was racing far too much, and he eventually had to get out of the car for a moment.

Hawthorne leaned against the car, trying to calm the unsettling feeling that was gnawing at him from the inside. And just as he thought he might have gotten it under control, everything went dark. The air was colder, and there were spores drifting like ash in the air.

There was no way any of this should be possible. They closed the gate last time. But the more he thought about the awful feeling that had been sitting in his stomach all day, the more he knew there was more to this than he previously realized. Someone must be tampering with the gate again. 

Hawthorne was snapped back to the real world the moment he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, you okay?” He turned to see Jonathan giving him a very concerned look. He hadn’t realized he’d wandered from the car a little in his brief moment of confusion.

“Yeah. Just fine.” It didn’t sound the least bit convincing, but he didn’t want Jonathan worrying about him right now.

Without another word, he got in the car again. Hawthorne slumped back in his seat, the silence suffocating him the whole ride. He pushed aside his own worries and searched for some way to approach this. Some way to make things better, because he didn’t want to deal with his boyfriend and girlfriend fighting if he could put a stop to it.

The silence didn’t last too long, though he was beginning to realize he would have preferred that. Nancy ranted on about how Tom was wrong and that none of this was any kind of coincidence. He had to admit, she had a decent point. Especially after what he’d just gone through himself. Something was wrong.

On the other hand, Jonathan made his own solid points. Everyone knew the Byers were poor and relied on the money they could get. And now that they’d both been fired, Jonathan wasn’t going to be able to help until he found another job. Assuming he even could. 

Regardless, they were both arguing far too much for his liking, and it was almost giving him a headache. “Can you guys please just accept that you’re both in the wrong to some degree?” he exclaimed, leaning his head against the window.

It shut them up for the rest of the car ride, but everything was just as awkward, if not more. The moment they stopped outside of Nancy’s house, she quickly got out and stormed off. Hawthorne sighed and gave Jonathan an apologetic look before he got out and went after her.

“Nance, you know I didn’t mean anything by it-”

“Why are you taking his side?” Nancy turned on her heel, tears just barely threatening to spill. 

“I’m not picking anyone’s side,” he insisted. “Both of you are right, but you’re both wrong, too.”

“You didn’t see how awful those guys were to me.”

Hawthorne ran his fingers through his hair, pushing down the anxiety that was creeping up on him. “No, but I get it. I know how hard that had to be, but you cost Jonathan a lot today. And he’s not going to be the only one suffering for it. His family is, too. Joyce and Will are just as affected by this indirectly, and I just don’t think you thought that through.”

He hadn’t really meant to go off, but he really had a lot of feelings bottled up over this whole thing. Hawthorne understood both of their arguments, but he just wanted everything back to normal. He wasn’t quite sure if it was from stress or something else, but he was feeling very jittery and slightly panicked on the inside. 

Deep down, he was sure she realized he had a point. And he was trying his best to put things nicely, but there was just no way to do that. If he didn’t say it, no one else would. 

“I couldn’t sit there and let them humiliate me, Hawthorne.” Nancy hugged herself and looked down at the pavement. “What did you want me to do?”

Hawthorne sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I don’t know, Nance. But lately you’ve been so caught up in your own problems to consider what everyone else is going through,” he answered. “There are other people in this world besides you.” 

She went silent, and Hawthorne took that as his cue to leave her to think. He took the passenger seat and sat back, his stress bubbling up inside. 

Jonathan took his hand as he started driving, something he didn’t do often. It was comforting, though. He appreciated it greatly. 

“How are you feeling?” Jonathan finally asked after a moment of silence. “I feel bad that we haven’t really checked on you this whole time.”

Hawthorne hadn’t even really considered either of them having any concern for him. He didn’t feel like he’d done anything worthy of them checking on his well-being. The parking lot had been its own incident, but even that didn’t feel worth noting right now. 

“Fine. Mostly.” It wasn’t the total truth, but he didn’t want to cause anymore concern than he already had. He knew how Jonathan could be.

“Mostly?”

“Do you ever just feel like your whole body is working against you, and suddenly you’re working so much harder to breathe normally, and every little thing is putting you on edge?” He wasn’t quite sure how else to explain it, but that felt the best way to put it into words.

Jonathan thought for a moment and shook his head. “Not personally, but I think I’ve got a pretty good idea,” he said. “You know, you don’t have to tag along if you don’t want to. I won’t blame you for it.”

After today, he wasn’t sure if he really had much choice in the matter.

“Whether I like it or not, I’m in this now. And I’m not letting you guys deal with this alone.” He loved both of them too much to leave them to their own devices. A lot of the time, he wished he wasn’t such a coward, if for their sake more than his, but he was. That wasn’t going to stop him from trying, though. “I’m here to help you guys.”

//

Taglist: @charmedtenderness​ @jxnehxpper​ @musicalytrashpanda​

[adhd-wifi]

MDZS Modern AU Fic Tips (Festivals)

So I asked a while back if anyone was interested in some fic tips for writing Chinese modern AUs, and y’all seemed enthusiastic. But…when I tried putting it all in a single post it got…really…really long…

So I split them into a bunch of posts (Yes I copy-pasted this intro on all of them because I’m lazy)! Here are the links:

Names & Stuff

Modern Chinese Cultural Stuff

Superstitions & Beliefs 

Festivals (You are here)

Living in China

Anyways, these are based on my experiences living in Singapore and China, and I hope these posts are helpful. On to it.

Content Warning: Magpie Bashing

Festivals (Warning: LONG. Good Luck.)

Note: I do not have personal experience with all of these. For those I have celebrated, I’ll indicate with a (*). Also I’ll only be talking about how we celebrate them (typically), because diving into the history and meanings of it all would take like 8 years (not literally but you know). Fee free to look them up, and ask your nearest Chinese human for any extra details. If they know it. You might want to look up what the lunar calendar is too. It’s basically the moon cycle calendar, but I am too bad at memorizing how it works so I just google the dates every single year. 

Also, I’m restricting this post to ONLY Chinese & Singaporean versions of celebrations. Many other regional ethnic groups celebrate the same or similar festivals, but I don’t know enough about their versions of the festivities. Another thing is that my family is from Dalian & Harbin in the NorthEast, so there is more Northern bias in my post so I might have some info that is inaccurate to festivities in the South. I did try to search for some South-specific traditions, since Yunmeng/Hubei is in South China, but I’m not entirely sure how accurate those details are.

Chinese New Year (*) - Late Jan to Early Feb (15 days after CNY day)

Before CNY, often on the eve of the actual date, we decorate our homes with red (don’t you dare skip out on decking your home with RED) decorations such as lanterns, red and orange flowers, those vertical paper banners with auspicious calligraphy on them (what are they called in English???) and whatever these things are

As kids, my sister and I would make those loop paper chains out of red and yellow paper a lot. We never knew what to do with them when the festivities were over

Spring cleaning is extremely important, we usually do it (extensively) from about a month before the festivities (and get yelled at a lot by our Chinese mothers & grandmothers especially) up to CNY Eve

Please don’t do any cleaning, particularly sweeping or throwing the trash out, on the day itself. You’re throwing the new year luck away. 

Other preparations include: buying new clothes, often with at least one red thing, visiting friends during the month prior so you don’t have to do so on the day itself and giving them little gifts and red packets, & burning new year offerings for ancestors

You will probably see lion dances on the streets and during new year parades a lot, sometimes accompanied by dragon dances, though the former is much more common. They also tend to give private performances at a discount during the CNY period, though lion dances aren’t restricted to only perform on CNY and in fact perform for special events in general, not just cultural festivities

On the night of CNY Eve, we have reunion dinners, in which we gather our entire extended family (when possible) and have a really loud, really energetic dinner party while watching the CNY Spring Gala on TV together. Or just eating if we don’t have access to a TV.

Include fish on the menu. At least one major fish main dish, not a side dish. It’s from a lucky saying: 年年有余 - nián nián yǒu yú, meaning something along the lines of “To have more prosperity this year”. The Chinese word for fish (鱼 - yú) sounds the same as 余, therefore we have fish every year. Yes it’s a pun, as many Chinese superstitions and beliefs are

Other menu items you could include: homemade dumplings (a FUCKton of them), uncut noodles, chicken or duck, pork, Chinese radish/carrot cake (side note: why the FUCK do Western articles ALWAYS translate this to “turnip cake” it’s made out of fucking RADISH or CARROT I swear to HELL), Chinese yam cakes, good alcohol and traditional sweets like tang yuan (this is basically the original version of mochi, filled with black or normal sesame filling and served in a clear, sweet soup)

There’s also one Cantonese dish known as (撈起 - Lo Hei) which is basically a salad of shredded carrot, radish, cucumber with strips of sashimi-style fish strips like salmon. You serve it to the table, pour crushed peanuts, fried dough crisps, and sweet sauce all over it, and your entire table reaches in with chopsticks and mixes everything together. It’s more common in Singapore and Malaysia than it actually is in Hong Kong and China, but I’ve had it in China before in the springtime. I fucking hate it. 

By the way, a fun game to play is the coin dumpling game. Basically, when you make the dumplings, put clean coins into some of them, and whoever eats the dumpling with the coins inside are considered super lucky for the year. I wasn’t ever allowed to make them though, my 20 years of dumpling-folding have failed me I still suck at it so everyone knows which ones are mine.

Usually, relatives living overseas would go to China for the New Year if they can, and they would take turns hosting the dinner each year. You would traditionally only have a reunion dinner in a family home, mostly because everything outside is closed

During the celebrations, lighting firecrackers and sparklers is part of the fun. Keep a close eye on the kids. 

Wearing traditional clothing isn’t necessary, but encouraged

At midnight, the younger, unmarried family members will present their married elders with gifts (usually two oranges per person or a small handmade craft) while wishing them well for the year, and in turn the elders will return the wishes and gift the youngsters red packets with money. 

The celebration period lasts for 15 days, but people typically go back to work a day or two after the actual CNY date

Personal note: I have only actually celebrated CNY once in China, back when I was tiny, so most of this is based on Singaporean experiences, what I know my in-China relatives, who live in Dalian, do, and what I’ve double checked online. But CNY is huge in China and many places celebrate it differently, so don’t get too worried about following this to the dot.

The Lantern Festival - Early to Mid Feb

In Singapore it’s actually illegal to celebrate the Lantern Festival traditionally on a large scale because of the potential fire hazards & pollution, so it’s somewhat merged with the Mid-Autumn festival here and thus I don’t know as much about this one in a “proper” Chinese context (I had to go to school in Singapore this time of year)

But anyways

The Lantern Festival comes immediately after CNY, on the 15th day of the first lunar month. It’s seen as a day of freedom for all, so everyone takes to the streets, lighting up the night with candles and lanterns

Lantern-walks are common, in which everyone holds a lantern - there are many kinds to choose from - and just walk up and down the streets together

These lantern-walks often take place alongside the official festival parades 

The dragon dances mentioned earlier are more likely to appear during the lantern festival than CNY, and the lion dances of course come as well

It gets crowded a lot. Hold onto your kids. 

Lantern riddles are fun games, in which they string up lanterns with papers hanging from them. Upon these papers are the riddles, and if you got them right you could win prizes. Or at least bragging rights amongst your family and friend groups

If you’re in a river town, you’ll likely have a chance to see water lanterns, which are also common during the Mid-Autumn Festival. They’re paper lanterns, sometimes made in lotus form, carrying wishes of prosperity. This can come in two forms, an official river lantern parade where they make HUGE lanterns for show, or smaller lanterns that just flow along. Sounds perfect for a Yunmeng Jiang family celebration, don’t you think?

Another one is the sky lanterns, which CQL watchers will recognize. People will gather together, usually on a hill, and release lanterns into the skies. Some will make them themselves, but most people will just buy pre-made ones. Like in CQL, you make a wish upon these lanterns, then sit down and eat tang yuan together.

They apparently eat a lot of tang yuan on this festival

A lot of romantic meet-ups happen on this festival (and the Mid-Autumn Festival) (y’all know what to do with this information)

This is considered the last chance of family time following on from CNY before you all return to your normal lives

The QingMing Festival (*) - Early Apr

AKA the Tomb-Sweeping Festival

To put it very basically, this is when we go to our deceased loved one’s graves and clean said graves 

We go to the cemetery in the early morning, wipe down the gravestones, clear them of debris like leaves and such, then we make offerings of food. A lot of the times, we would basically lay out a feast before the grave(s), lighting incense and also decorating the graves with flowers and such

Please do not ever eat anything in those offerings. It’s not for the living. Therefore, please feel free to stab your chopsticks upright into that bowl of rice.

You can burn offerings like paper too, usually in a burning urn (??? is it an urn?), but in my experience we weren’t allowed to do that at my grandma’s grave since it was a crowded cemetery so I don’t know how it works exactly

In my personal experiences, we usually stayed in the cemetery for about an hour, praying to the deceased and sort of chatting with them, hoping they’re doing well in the afterlife and updating them on our lives

After that’s done, we go have a picnic somewhere down the mountain and fly kites while getting bullied by asshole magpies

They keep stealing my food because apparently even they know you shouldn’t eat the food left out for the dead

One stole my necklace once ;-;

Anyways the food offerings left out are typically cleared the next morning (latest) by us or you pay the cemetery caretakers to dispose of it, but the latter is looked down upon for good reason

It’s really just best to clean it up yourselves when you can. For everyone’s sake.

The Dragon Boat Festival (*) - Late Jun to Early Jul

You could probably make a sports anime about this festival, because the main even at the Dragon Boat Festival is the dragon boat racing (shocking)

Okay all joking aside, during this festival, which is a summer event, dragon boat racers compete with one another in long, narrow wooden canoes with a Chinese dragon head carved out in the front and painted scales on the side, often really brightly coloured

They row to the beat of loud drums, with a drummer sitting at the head of each boat, facing their boat’s rowers, beating the drum as their team rows

People watching the races can do so from the shore, where they’ll be eating glutinous rice with meat/nuts/beans wrapped in large, woven bamboo leaves into a triangle shape, called 粽子 - zòng zi.  (The Malaysians & Indonesians have this too, but they use banana leaves instead)

In some places, you have viewers in viewing boats too, with the race course marked off with buoys. I fell into the water once from one of these. Luckily they make you all wear life-vests. 

Also a limited occurrence but rarer, some places will have sort of official “cheerleading” boats, in which a bunch of colourfully dressed people will shout and cheer for the racers as a whole, often waving flags the same colours as their clothes. They’re often standing, but in the same kind of dragon boats. You have to be affiliated with the local dragon boat community / heritage board to be allowed to be one of these “cheerleaders” though

When the official races aren’t happening though, visitors are often taken around the river. You can technically do this at any time, but the Chinese believe that the time of the Dragon Boat Festival is the best time for traversing the great rivers

Other things people do during this festival include drinking realgar wine, making perfume packets for children, and hanging mosquito-repellent herbs on doors and windows, but I’ve never seen this in practice and couldn’t find much else on these

To be honest, this particular festival is seen as a thing of lingering cultural heritage or just something of a traditional ceremonial practice, but is overall kinda dying as a full-fledged festival, with only the racing surviving the passage of time (In fact, this has become more of a leisure event than a festival in Singapore in recent years)

The QiXi Festival - Mid to Late Aug???

Not gonna lie I didn’t know this one existed until I looked it up

I knew the legend surrounding it (The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl - Please look it up it’s a beautiful story even though it’s not realistic because the magpies aren’t assholes) but didn’t know it was an actual holiday at all

Basically it’s kind of the Chinese version of Valentine’s Day, but it takes place in like August

Traditionally, girls took this time to show off their skills in the “feminine arts” such as weaving, sewing, fruit carving (???), tea-making (?????) and poetry (?????????). I’m confused.

They also ate special pastries and children gave flower garlands to the sacred ox statues

Apparently it’s mostly only celebrated in more traditional/rural areas now because most modern Chinese people just celebrate the Western Valentine’s Day

The legend gets to stay though

The Hungry Ghost Festival (*) - Late Jul to Early Aug (Start) / Late Aug to Early Sept (End)

This one is not a festive festival at all. You shouldn’t be enjoying this festival as a living person. But this is probably the best festival for any fics set in the modern world revolving around dead spirits being active out of everything on this list

This festival lasts the entire 7th month of the lunar calendar, so the Chinese will literally just call it the “Seventh Month (七月 - qī yuè)” or the “Ghost Month (鬼月 - guǐ yuè)” 

I’ve never even heard anyone refer to it by its full name in Chinese, which is apparently 中元节 - zhōng yuán jié or 盂兰盆节 - yú lán pén jié according to Wikipedia

Basically, the Gates of Hell the Afterlife have opened for the month to get the spirits of the deceased ease their suffering for a bit. So, the festival is actually NOT celebrated by the living, instead, it’s “celebrated” by the ghosts of the deceased

Living human practices during this festival include making various food offerings (the main point of the festival) for the spirits, usually much more seriously and/or extravagantly than typical offerings, burning offerings such as paper money, paper houses, paper cars, etc in large quantities because this is the best time for the spirits to receive them, putting on special “performances for the dead” in which performers will dance and sing to a room of empty chairs, and having special family prayer sessions in which we “speak” to the deceased directly (Luckily, they don’t usually answer us)

Nowadays, only the first two of those practices are really still practiced as seriously as they used to be, for individual families at least

Again, if you see food being left out on the side of the street, especially if there’s incense or something next to it, please don’t eat it or even touch it. Don’t be the ignorant guy in a horror movie

People who can see/hear/sense spirits and environmentalists hate this festival, because ghosts can be terrifying even when harmless, and all the burning contributes to climate change

I happen to be both of those. I am also sensitive to smoke. So...

Ironically I don’t actually hate this festival THAT much but...

Personal note: I’ve never been to China during the seventh month, and because they make it a point to not really talk about it, I only know the Singaporean experiences. Telling ghost stories is both encouraged and shunned during this month here. Malaysian-Chinese ghost stories are fucking horrifying. Give me more.

Mid-Autumn Festival (*) - Late Sept to Early Oct

My personal favourite festival on this list. I don’t like crowded places, but I make exceptions for this one when I can. I would call this the most fun and enjoyable festival out of all of them. 

When speaking Chinese, most of the time we’d just shorten it to 秋节 - qiū jié from the full name of 中秋节 - zhōng qiū jié 

When speaking English (in Singapore, but you can use these in English fics and people tend to understand it fine), we also call it the Mooncake Festival, the Autumn Moon Festival, or the Harvest Moon Festival (this one is quite an old name though)

In modern times, this is celebrated very similarly to the famous Natsu Matsuri (Summer Festival) in Japan, in which a huge festival site is fully decorated in colourful lanterns and filled with countless stalls of food, games, and festival products such as more lanterns, traditional dress rentals if you’re lucky, wooden toys, cloth products, “festival” tea & wine, and many more

You are encouraged to wear cheongsam/qipao to the festivities, but honestly most people don’t anymore, but they dress their kids in cultural clothing a lot (in Singapore you’ll also see kiddies running around in other traditional dress, such as yukata, summer hanbok, festive baju kurung, etc.)

In some places, special dragon or lion dances will be performing

Expect to find a FUCKTON of fresh fruit stalls, including pumpkins, melons, pomelos, persimmons, pomegranates, maybe starfruits, dragonfruits & guavas, and probably a heck lot of longans if you’re somewhere in South China. Also expect every individual large fruit to be decorated with red ribbons and colourful wrapping paper

Also out of every five stalls, at least one will be a mooncake stall

Mooncakes come in multiple varieties! The most common are the white lotus bean paste ones, the ones with salted egg yolks (single yolk and double yolk), snowskin ones which as much softer and sweeter, red bean paste cakes, etc.

They make some super cute shapes too!

There are even more savoury options with minced pork filling or prawn/fish filling (not a fan of the fish ones), but they’re made with a flakier pastry than the sweet ones (Note: sometimes we don’t call these mooncakes, but it depends)

Basically the sweet ones use a pastry that’s more like a typical sweet tart shell while the savoury ones use something that’s more like a non-sweetened croissant 

Traditionally, people would make the mooncakes together at home, and offer them to the moon goddess during moon worship, but nowadays most people just buy them and eat them

This festival also shares a lot of the same customs as CNY & the Lantern Festival, such as: 

Having another reunion dinner. Duck is a very common dish, along with seasonal crops. Lotus dishes are also popular around this time, depending on where you are. 

Lanterns everywhere. Water and sky lanterns are also common. You’ll also see people playing with firecrackers and sparklers.

In much more rural areas, you might get to experience the Burning Pagoda tradition, in which they set up a seven-tier tower made up of wood and straw and burn it while dancing around it. This practice is similar to the Bon Odori even in Japan. 

Fun fact: This is also basically the Lantern Festival of Singapore, because the actual Lantern Festival isn’t celebrated here

Bonus: I made a post about the most famous myth of this festival that relates to MDZS.

The ChongYang Festival - Mid to Late Oct

Also known as the Double Ninth Festival (in English) and the Senior Festival (slang)

This is basically the festival of paying respects to our elders, both living and dead

There are...going to be a fuckton of chrysanthemums everywhere. Chrysanthemum flowers decorating the place, chrysanthemum cakes (I don’t recommend googling it if you have severe trypophobia, some of the more traditional cakes have a lot of seeds and stuff on top which may be upsetting, but I would say it’s at least better than a hollow lotus pod), chrysanthemum wine, all of that

Common activities include going on easy hikes or mountain walks with the living elders, and maybe visiting the graves of those who have passed and paying respects

It’s dying in modern times, but still seen as at least a day of relaxing with your elderly family and friends

The DongZhi Festival - Late Dec (just before Christmas mostly)

The Winter Solstice Festival

Nothing much is done, we really mostly just have a special dinner together, eating dumplings, noodle soup, mutton, and hotpot. Alcohol is often present at such dinners, and you would toast to the solstice 

You’d also pray and stuff like most of these festivals, but I think that’s a given by now lol

Modern Chinese people will often get together during this time and merge it with their Christmas dinners

Aside from that, we really just celebrate Christmas, though now you can add a line of cultural significance to those modern AU Christmas fics :3

Bonus Info: There is also a Summer Solstice festival called the Xia Zhi Festival that’s essentially the same as this, except you eat a lot of noodles and go swimming, but it’s not really significant anymore in modern times, the DongZhi festival only really surviving because of Christmas, so I didn’t include it in the list

Alright, that one took like 84 years. I’m tired LMAO.