#up next: great white Jeremy

[emry-stars-art]

Wips and sketches from the insta live this morning 💕 sharkdrew and pirate Neil, fisherman Andrew, and possible design squid Jean

[austinbutlerslovers]

The Ball Game

Label Mature 18+

Summary Austin brings you with him to Wrigley field to watch a ball game in VIP with fellow celebrities. Shy in the midst of such a large crowd he leans to your for comfort, reserved in public about what he really wants to do back at the hotel.

💝 Romantic Smut 💝 Austin doting boyfriend • Austin shy • Austin reserved pda • smitten •fluff • affectionate • edging • sweet talk• praising • body worship• love making • orgasm •cream pie 🔗Masterlist

✨Inspo Latest pics/vids of him enjoying baseball in Chicago 🥰

The Ball Game

The sun blazes over Wrigley Field, a jewel of green and red brick nestled in Chicago’s bustling North Side. 

The ballpark is teeming with action, vendors selling hot dogs and beer, their voices cutting through the chatter of the crowd, while the organ belts out jaunty tunes. 

The Cubs are facing the Rockies today, and the energy is frenzied, a mix of exhilaration and anticipation that makes you fill with excitement.

Austin is somehow both commanding and unassuming as he navigates the VIP section. He’s dressed in some of his favorites: a dark navy Capco steel cap pulled low over his blue eyes, a fitted white tee hugging his broad chest, and a soft blue button-up hanging open with light tan cargo pants that accentuate him in all the right places.

Despite his fame, Austin still clings to wearing certain clothing pieces like a security blanket, their worn-in familiarity grounding him in a world of flashing cameras and non-stop public commitments.

You’re seated next to him right behind the batting cage, a prime section secured for him as a VIP with the other celebrity guests in attendance.

With Austin just filming Caught Stealing as Hank, a baseball player with a gritty edge, the excitement of being so close to the pitchers mound radiates from him. 

He turns to you, his full lips curving into a boyish grin. “You good, babe?” he asks, his voice low and warm, those blue eyes searching yours with a tenderness that makes your heart melt. 

He’s reserved in public, but with you, he’s all softness, leaning into you like your presence is his safety net.

“I’m great,” you reply, squeezing his hand. His fingers are long and warm, as he gives you a gentle squeeze back, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. 

You can tell he’s thrilled to have you here, his usually guarded demeanor loosening as he glances at the field, then back at you, his blue eyes glinting with affection.

Around you, the VIP section is filled with familiar faces. Jeremy Allen White, Austin’s co-star in their upcoming film Enemies, is seated to his right, his shorter frame slouched casually in a white tee and khakis, a tan cap tilted low over his eyes.

Jeremy’s got this brooding energy, all half smirks and quick wit, his crystal blue eyes lighting up as he chats with a curious Austin about the meaning of his tattoos. 

Yesterday, Jeremy took Austin to roam his hometown of Chicago together, grabbing coffee at Doma Cafe in Andersonville. They were spotted by fans almost instantly and Jeremy being the kind humble guy that he is when mistaken for “looking exactly like Jeremy Allen White,” just nodded in agreement. 

Austin kept his head low, thinking he would be spared, but was nabbed by an even bolder fan who flat out asked for his phone number, which in true Austin style he graciously declined.

Among the other VIP celebs in your section, David Harbour is seated to your left. His burly frame sprawled across the seat as he trades stories with Jason Bateman, who’s impeccably dressed in a black tee and Cubs hat. 

David’s laugh is a deep, rumbling thing, and he’s got this dad-like warmth that you admire from his role on Stranger Things, his kindness almost tempting you enough to ask him about the next season. 

Jason, meanwhile, is all dry humor and wit, his sharp blue eyes scanning the field as he quips, “If I’d known we’d be this close to the action, I would have brought my catchers mit.”

They’re all so down-to-earth, these larger-than-life men who could command any room, but choose instead to blend into the chaos of the ballpark,  just like any other group of guys enjoying a sunny afternoon.

The game kicks off with a roar from the crowd, and Austin stands, his hands stuffed anxiously in his pockets, cheering reservedly as the Cubs take the field. 

He’s shy about being in such a large crowd , his shoulders hunching slightly, but his eyes light up, wide and bright, taking in the vibrant green field, the players practicing swings just infront of him.

When the organ starts playing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”, he sways a little, singing softly, his voice low and melodic blending in. You join him, and he glances at you, his grin widening, a spark of pure joy in his expression. You lean close so he can hear you over the noise, your elbow nudging his.

“Having fun Austin?” you tease.

“More than I thought I would,” he admits, his gaze sweeping the stadium before settling on you. 

The moment is perfect and Austin, in a rare display of public affection, shifts closer slipping his arm around your shoulder, his touch warm and heartfelt. 

For someone as reserved as he’s become, the simple gesture feels monumental as his long fingers slide down to your waist and he gently pulls you into his side. 

When you glance at him, his cheeks are flushed a soft pink under the brim of his cap, and his blue eyes are soft and smitten. He leans in, clearly wanting to kiss you, but a sudden wave of shyness pulls him back a bit, and a wide grin spreads across your face. 

Austin pauses, his own bashful smile forming on his lips, his eyes laced with affection as he takes in your reaction, completely charmed by you.

Jeremy, catching the moment, leans over with a sly grin. “Smooth Bulter” he teases, his tone pure mischief.

David and Jason join in, chuckling, David’s deep laugh rumbling as he adds, “C’mon, man, you’re breaking our hearts out here with all this romantic tension,” 

Jason, ever the dry wit, leans back tilting his Cubs hat up slightly as he quips, “Gotta give the man points for effort,—bold move in a full stadium.” and David slaps his knees, laughing.

Their playful ribbing fills the air, the group’s easy chemistry turning the moment into a warm, lighthearted spectacle blending with the stadium’s cheers. You can’t help but grin at their antics, your cheeks warm, your heart swelling at Austin’s shy courage.

Austin plays it off interlacing his fingers with yours his bashfulness eating him alive as he leans in to whisper. “You okay?” his voice soft, checking in like he always does.

“More than okay,” you whisper back, still grinning, and he smiles, that quiet, smitten smile that’s just for you.

When the game ends with the Cubs winning against the Rockies 3-1, you and Austin leave with the other VIPs long before the crowd spills out. After a day of cheering and reveling under the Chicago sun, you and Austin are both drained but happy.

Back at the hotel, a sleek suite at the Peninsula with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city, you’re both too tired to do anything but collapse. 

Austin flops onto the king-sized bed, sprawling on his stomach, his cap tossed aside, his sandy blonde hair a mess. “I’m dead,” he groans, his voice muffled by the pillow.

“Poor baby,” you tease, climbing onto the bed. You straddle his lower back, your hands caressing over the tense muscles of his shoulders and he sighs under your touch, his body relaxing as you work out the stress from a long day. 

“Mmm, you’re so good to me,” he murmurs, turning his head to peek at you, his eyes heavy-lidded but warm with affection.

He reaches back, guiding you down gently until you’re lying beside him. He props himself up on one elbow as he looks at you, his gaze tracing your face. “I really wanted to kiss you out there,” he confesses, his voice soft with emotion.

“I know,” you respond, brushing your fingers gently along his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your touch. “You can kiss me in here,” you smile, and he grins in return, his blue eyes twinkling with adoration as he leans in and kisses you, slow and deep, his hand cradling your jaw.

You kiss him back, your fingers trailing through his sandy brown hair, and he shifts closer, his touches growing more insistent. His lips move against yours with a quiet hunger, and when he pulls back just enough to speak, his breath is warm against your skin. 

“Kissing in here is so much better,” he smiles, his thumb stroking your cheek. 

“Why because you don’t have an audience,” you grin cheekily, your eyes mischievous.

“No because I can do more than kissing,” he replies, his voice a promise, as his fingers slip down the straps of your top, sliding it off with a gentleness that makes you kiss him again.

You surrender to him, helping as he unbuttons your jeans, easing them down your legs with care, leaving you in nothing but your bra and panties. His eyes, are soft and reverent as he takes you in. “So beautiful,” he whispers leaning in his voice low and sincere against your ear. 

He sits up slightly, sliding off his blue button up then his white tee to reveal the lean, toned planes of his chest, the soft light catching the contours of his muscles. His cargo pants follow as he kicks them off leaving him in gray boxers, his movements unhurried and purposeful.

He leans over you, his lips finding yours again, kissing you with a passion that’s both gentle and consuming. His hands roam softly, tracing the curve of your waist, his touch warm and worshipful. “You’re so special to me,” he whispers against your lips, his voice heavy with emotion as he moves to kiss along your jaw, and down the column of your neck. 

His fingers unclasp your bra sliding it away, and he presses soft kisses to your collarbone, his breaths hot against your skin. His lips trail lower, brushing over the swell of your breasts, each kiss intensified, his hands cradling your sides as he whispers, “I can’t wait to feel you,” his voice a soft vow.

His hand drifts lower, knuckles brushing over the fabric of your panties, a slow, deliberate touch that sends a shiver through you. 

He strokes the lips up and down through the thin material, his movements gentle but teasing, his eyes locked on yours, watching your reactions with a mix of adoration and desire. 

“It feels so good Austin,” you whisper, your voice a shaky hush as your hands lower to your hips. You help him as he pulls your panties off, both of you staring as he spreads you gently, his fingers slick, his touch careful but confident as you gasp at the soft intimacy. 

He lingers there, his fingers trailing slow, strokes up and down, his lips finding yours again in a deep, languid kiss. His breaths mingle with yours as he presses soft kisses to your cheek, your jaw, your lips, building the anticipation with every touch.

He shifts, positioning himself above you, his body warm and solid, his eyes never leaving yours as he pulls his boxers down, his hard cock sliding out as you both watch. 

He rubs the tip gently against you, teasing your slickness, his mouth parting in a quiet gasp as he savors the pleasure of it. “I love you,” he whispers, his voice raw with emotion, and then he pushes forward, sinking all the way in, your mouth opening in bliss as your eyes lock in a shared moment of ecstasy. 

He kisses you slowly, his lips moving with yours as he pulls your leg over his hip, pressing closer. His movements are steady, passionate, each thrust gentle but deep, his hands cradling your body like you’re something precious.

“So perfect for me,” he whispers kissing you softly, then more urgently, his praises a constant thread as he moves faster—“You’re everything,” “I’m so lucky,”—he whispers against your skin as he moves with you.

His breaths grow heavier with his eyes locked on yours, filled with a vulnerability that makes your heart ache. He cups your face, his thumb  brushing your cheek, “I’m getting close baby,” he whispers his voice shaky with emotion, his softness just for you. 

The intimacy of his words, the way he bares himself, pushes you closer to the edge. You feel the tension building in your body, responding to his every touch, his every breath. As he moves he satisfies you so well with each thrust that you begin to orgasm, your moans breaking off in soft, shuddering waves, raw and unrestrained. 

The pleasure crashes over you, overwhelming, your gasps mingling with his as your body trembles beneath him, every sensation heightened by the way he knows you, loves you, bringing you to the peak of pleasure with such care and devotion.

He moans with you, his thrusts growing messier, more desperate, his hips grinding against you as he chases his release. His sounds are deep and pleasurable, his low groans vibrating against your skin, and you feel the force of him as he climaxes, his movements relentless yet tender, drawing out your pleasure as he surrenders to his own. He begins to come with a shudder, his breath hitching, his body tensing as he holds you close, his lips pressing onto yours in a desperate final kiss.

You lay together, panting, your bodies still entangled, the afterglow wrapping you in warmth. His head rests against yours, his breaths uneven, his hand gently stroking your hair as he whispers, “You’re my everything,” his voice soft and sated. 

You smile, your hands reaching over to stroke his temple as his eyes flutter shut. “I’ll never stop loving  you like this,” you promise your voice a soft whisper, filled with devotion.

The city of Chicago sounds softly beyond the windows, but in this moment, it’s just you and Austin, your bodies intertwined, his love a vow in every touch, every kiss, and every breath, always holding you in his heart.

END ⚾️

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[are-you-still-writing-that]

Yandere Alphabet: Ren Hana

I just love that dude, mkay! He has me heart and soul! This is specifically BtD2 Ren, so yeah. Favourite route of that game! This got quite long, it´s around 6k because I thought I would try something else for this, and I´m actually quite happy how it turned out! Hilariously enough I started to write this, around January 2023 and just finished it (April 2024).

I´ll hope you will like it too, because it was already one of my favourite things to reread every once in a while! Have fun!

Ren Hana

He is insane. He hates you. He loves you. He lives only for you. He would kill you in a heartbeat. Full of contradictions he tends to be a rather mercurial character. You are the first one to know that. Did you maybe, just like me, hunt down every last line of dialogue, every last image in his route. He hides away from sight, and only catches you when he is sure, that he will be able to.

„Let´s be perfectly clear, shall we. The fox is not a little orange puppy dog with doe eyes and a waggly tail. It´s a disease-ridden wolf with the morals of a psychopath and the teeth of a great white shark.“ ~ Jeremy Clarkson

For he was truly raised, tortured and formed by a psychopath. By a sadist without any morals. And on you, this little fox will discover his sharp claws and great teeth once more.

„Beware the fox that makes the ravens fly“

Run little one, run. For you will be his prey.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

When Ren gets it into his head to shower you with affection, it can get quite uncomfortable rather quickly, as he tends to ignore any personal boundaries you ever tried to communicate. He is intense in the way his eyes track you, and in those moments you wonder how you could ever miss the way. that he is a clear predator. And in the next moment he pounces on you with a sweet giggle to simply share his warmth with you. Sometimes when you´re eating, his body is pressed close to yours, with no way left for you, so that you could escape from him. He will hold food up to your mouth, expecting you to take it. His eyes just daring you to refuse him, and with the way his other hand plays with something in his pocket, the threat is clear. Other days he will hand you something, and only give you a small moment to appreciate his gift, before he will pounce on you, nearly bowling you ever, and only his hands behind your head saving you from a concussion, as he demands his reward. Cuddling you on the floor, as he lowly purrs into your ear, his tail wrapping around your waist.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

On some days you will come to the painful realization, that Ren is more animal, than human. Those are definitely the days, he comes back home with blood still splattered all over his face, and the sound of something being dragged in behind him. It´s those days, when he calls for you to come with a playful uncanny trill in his voice, that makes listening to it so unpleasant. It´s those days, when he rips the still bleeding, still warm corpse apart in front of you. Sometimes off-handedly offering you a piece of flesh he just tore out of what had been a living breathing person moments before. On other days you will realize, that while he is clearly brutal, he holds you dear. At least, it´s what you need to believe, when he violently goes for the throat of that guy who tried to touch you when you refused, and then thought you would be more agreeable when he shakes you around. It´s what you whisper in the sudden quiet in your mind, when Ren comes to you. Blood dripping of his fangs and claws, and tenderly holds onto your bruised wrist. He is cooing at you, and the rapidly cooling body behind him, stares at you with unseeing eyes. You try to desperately believe what you tell yourself, as Ren carefully leads you away, humming slightly to calm you back down. It´s what you need to do, because you thought you saw accusations swimming in those dead eyes.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Ren does crave your love and your companionship more than anything else. So, in order to achieve that, he will try to be kind to you, after all that could help him earn what he wants. Right? He will be kind and accommodating, and his reward will be you. Though, when he realizes, that you still reject him, he won´t hesitate to be cruel to you in return. If you´re throwing everything, that he gave you simply away, well then he doesn´t need to give it to you in the first place. In the end your companionship can simply be achieved through obedience as well, no? When it comes down to it, he will mirror you. Throw back at you what you show him first. If you are kind, he will be as well. If you are cruel, he will be cruel. An almost perfect mirror, that will throw your own attitude back at you, but so much more dangerous than you could ever be.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Ren will force his need of skinship onto you, if you want to or not. The one time, that you struggled as if trying to free yourself, you stopped out of self-preservation when his grip grew tighter and tighter, making it hard to breathe for you. Sometimes he will come to you, to simply hold your face, gently tracing it´s shape, his claws nothing but a whisper on your skin. These are the things you could tolerate. The ones you can´t are when he shushes you, more growl than calming purr, when he pulls you down the stairs towards the basement. The smell of blood, already coming over you, and you already know what will await you. You don´t kick or scream, only sob quietly, hoping that you will not make him angry. His next shush comes with him, wiping away your tears. But you shiver in fright and disgust, when you see how he licks his hand clean afterwards. Chasing the taste of your tears on his fingers. Though, this is still the lesser evil, than the dead man walking, that will await you down there.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

It would annoy you how much he talks with you, if he wasn´t the only one breaking the silence. And as long as he is chatty, he isn´t brooding either. He will talk about the most inconsequential things, throwing in stuff every once in a while that is so heartfelt, that it becomes jarring to you. You would hate how open he is with you, as if you aren´t a prisoner of his. You would maybe even react, if you didn´t knew, that he is still trying to gauge how much he can trust you with. And every time, he decides to trust you, you have to believe that this is a good thing. For your own sanity. Though you hate one specific time with a burning passion. It´s when he pulls you towards the couch, and pushes you into the pillows he already laid out. When he then stands up, to push a self-titeled disk, the ink already worn away in places, into the player. When he comes back to cuddle you, as you watch with horror living in your ribcage, how a man you never saw, but instinctively put at fault for your situation, ripping into another being with glee. When he whispers softly, about those day, when the body in the cooler, was still a man, and of all the things he did, as Ren watches you. When you wish he would just shut it all of, and he would be the only thing again, that is breaking the silence.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

The moment you try to use force against him, is also the moment you already lost. There is nothing left of the boy you knew, as the gentle cooing that haunts you in your nightmares, turns into a vicious growl, that is more fitting to belong there. You hit the ground hard, and your vision swims for a moment, till the growling suddenly become muffled. It takes a moment to pull yourself back to consciousness, and for you notice the claws sinking deeper into your shoulders, and the sharp pain, that comes from your neck, which gets so much worse, when Ren pulls back again. Blood dripping from his mouth onto your face, he gnashes his teeth at you. You don´t even scream, still numb from it all, when he pulls you down those dreaded stairs, to a place you never wish to set foot in, and yet visit time and time again. You know he will show how „kind“ he has been the whole time. He will hurt you like in those movies. But the only thing going through your mind, is the image of the pleasure he seemed to feel, when he licked your blood from his lips. Then you remember the heartless corpse downstairs. You scream.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Ren bristles when you ask him that. He can feel how his tail bushes up, and curls around you without him consciously willing it to happen. His teeth gnash together, as he squints at you. He only stops the growl that already started up somewhere deep in his chest, when he sees you flinch away from him. He huffs instead at you, and lets himself fall relaxed back onto you. He waits patiently for you to go back to carding your fingers through his hair as you had done, before asking this, quite frankly, offensive and stupid question, before he starts purring again. He doesn´t know who he is trying to calm down at this point. He wonders, if he has forgotten to show you how much he loves and adores you. His sweet, precious thing, that stays with him, that listens to him. You, who keeps that damn ghost, that still haunts him every day away. He wonders if he should tell you, that he wants you to stay with him for forever and ever and ever. Though, that might frighten you. So he simply nuzzles you, as he purrs softly, ignoring how you flinch away from him with practice.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

You were careful. And o how careful you had to be, to not accidentally set him off. But you wanted him so badly to realize, that this was not how a relationship worked. He had mentioned time and time again, and yet you couldn´t quite believe it. And when you asked – gentle, careful, don´t anger him – he had looked at you funny, before grinning. A sly smirk, that reminded you rather suddenly, that you weren´t talking to a human. As if the ears and tails hadn´t clued you in. Though, this didn´t feel like the grin of a fox, more like a hungry wolf, as he contemplated out loud, that he was behaving rather strangely, at least to his kinds standards. After all, he was being patient and accommodating to your own behaviour till now, though, he could change if you wanted to. You shook your head, and instead thanked him. You knew he hadn´t lied.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He whispers his vision to you in the death of the night. His quiet voice, soothing were it only makes you so afraid. He paints a picture, that makes him sink deeper into the cushions, makes him feel safe and content, while you can do nothing but watch in horror. If you were just a bit more like him, you would be sure, that your hair would be standing upright with the terror chasing down your spine. Though, what he describes isn´t so far off, what he already has with you. Have you grown this complacent, to simply give in to his every wish? He wants to lay down with you, in the sun spots inside the house, side by side, curled around each other. And your hand just burrows deeper in his hair, careful to only scratch and not pull. His vision, is already your reality.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

He knows that there is nothing for him to get jealous over. Where would you go? Who would you be able to turn to? If you ran, would you ever be able to run far enough? Or would he catch up to you before you knew it? He knows the answer to these questions. And they will never worry him, as much as you seem to worry about them. He knew he won. It´s once more proven to him, when he finds you kneeling by the door. Tears running down your face, spit slowly dabbling from your chin. Now and then a small jerk going through your body. Your eyes look vacant, as he walks past and opens the door for you. His victory only becomes more certain, when you turn away from the light, the breeze, with an anguished cry. What does he need to be jealous of?

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

His behaviour tends to closely mirror your own. He doesn´t seem to be aware of it most of time. At other points, it seems more than intentional. He repeats phrases, that you have said. His speech patterns begin to more closely resemble your own, the more time you spent with each other. Or do yours resemble his? It seems, that the two of you bleed more and more into the other, as time passed. Over time though, while you grew more and more subdued. He became louder. Where you grew into something, that cowers away. He became something, that would be impossible to miss. He mirrors you, but he plays into every extreme there is. Your melancholy becomes something loud and heart wrenching. Your happiness wraps into demented glee and shrieks of joy. Your gentle affection on his face turns into a punishing grip. Ren clings to you. He knows, that he is adapting to your personality, though where this might frighten you, it only brings him joy. He always knew, that you were the perfect fit for him. His perfect other half, and now he only got to prove it. He won´t let you go. Oh no. He never will. And why should he? With all the work he put in, to be your counterpart? He will cling to you till the end of time.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

You were bored, when he approached you. His soft voice nearly scared you half to death, when he started to talk to you. You hadn´t even heard him coming close. There was a sharp wit lacing his every word, as he waved your anxiousness away with a quiet humour twisting around his mouth. You and him talked nearly for the whole night. You were no longer bored. Drink after drink gets shared between the two of you, as dawn slowly comes around. You don´t even notice, when they start to taste funny. Maybe you simply drank too much? Your sudden tiredness is blamed on the late hour, and even when it feels like you can´t keep your eyes open any more and his smile is so full of sharp teeth. Maybe your fear was reasonable. Maybe you should have listened to that first instinctual response of absolute terror, when you noticed at first. These thoughts run slowly and languid through your mind, as he hoists you up over his shoulder, and simply walks out. No one stops him.

Mask: Are their true colours drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

There is a quiet confidence, you observe, that seems to find him in the strangest moments. His mood is quick to change. Laughter can turn into angry screams, faster than you can keep up with it most of the time. It´s no secret to you, that Ren is unstable. It´s also pretty obvious to you, that he is aware of that fact as well. Whenever he actually decides to take you outside, Good behaviour need to be rewarded dear, he has to concentrate. He can´t be too domineering over you, and so he falls back into patterns, that make him seem shy and unassuming. He knows, where those habits formed, and while he wouldn´t thank Strade for them, he still finds them useful for this. He knew what a charmer Strade was, just as he is now as well. A good trait to have, if one is like him. So he puts on the mask, that helps him to navigate the outside easily. Voice timid and shy. Never taking up more space, than he needs to. He basically vanishes into the background. It´s easy for him to watch every little move that you make. After all, you also tend to forget that he is here, whenever he gets like this.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

You don´t even know why he suddenly slams into you. Tearing you down to the ground with him. He is hovering above you, lips pulled back into a cruel snarl. Teeth gnashing and spit slowly dripping from the corners of his mouth. Right now he resembles more than ever, the violent and feral animal, that he always pretends not to be. There is the clinking of chains, as your breath only comes shortly. His teeth violently snap shut just inches from your face. When he speaks, a melodious hum, you can barely understand him, but the little you do frightens you. It freezes the blood in your veins, as you try to shake your head at him. Tears are already rolling down your face. He pats your face, then your head. His grip on the chain wrapped like a collar around your throat not loosening. He chuckles out But what a pretty star you would make. It would surely be my new favourite film. You can only cry harder, as you think of the man in cellar. You try to plead and beg with him, as he yanks you down the stairs. Your limbs kicking out in every direction, as you pull at the chain and try to stop him. The wooden steps bruise your back, and his laugh rings in your ears. When you swipe at him accidentally instead of the chain, his laughter stops. He doesn´t pay your terrified shrieking any mind, as he fished a little button from his pants pocket and presses down. You don´t really move, when he pulls at the leash again. Drool and spit slowly dribbling from your mouth, as fine tremors run through your body. You don´t even know what brought this on.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

You wake up with a groan. You definitely drank too much last night. Your head pounds, and every little movement you make makes you wince. When you finally open your eyes, you don´t recognize the room. Carefully lifting the blanket you realize that you are only half-dressed. You can´t even remember how you got here. It takes you stumbling around the room, ripping open the curtains and seeing your reflection in the barred up windows to realize that there is something on your neck. It´s bulky and heavy, and no matter how much you fiddle with it, you can´t get it off. When the door suddenly opens, you nearly scream. The boy, red hair and kind of small, seems vaguely familiar to you, lets out a surprised yelp. His smile seems kind, but when he notices you still fiddling with the collar, his expression grows dark. It´s a low Stop that! that gives you a momentarily pause, before you ignore it. The next thing you know is pain. The boy holding a remote, as he comes to a stop standing over you. He crouches down next to you, a small smile playing around his lips, as he watches you drool and shake. There is a worried crease between his eyebrow, that you can´t help but feel like it´s fake. He pats your head, with a smile, as he licks his too sharp teeth. O this is gonna be fun. I love you so much my dear!

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

You looked at his hand, as if he would bite it off, when you took it. Come here, he crooned, curling his fingers in slowly. His patience was slowly running thin. You couldn´t see it from your position, but he had started to fiddle with the remote of your shock collar. He was contemplating to just shock you into complying with his simple request, but something about the way you looked at him – shaking, scared – stopped him. His patience was rewarded when you finally reached out for him, curling your fingers around his as he helped you up from the floor. He nuzzled close into your neck, and patted your hair. Good job, darling! So good for me~, he couldn´t help a little moan slipping out with the words. He led the way to the basement door, and opened it. Walking down the steps first, he sighed as he heard how your footsteps had stopped. With just one glance over his shoulder, he knew that this time you wouldn´t come that easy. It wasn´t fear and hesitance – both very under stable to him – that stopped you this time, but stubbornness. Without even hesitating, he pressed the button on his remote. Keeping it pushed down, only giving you short breaks to let you catch your breath, he grapped you by your shirt to drag your convulsing body down the stairs with him. Dropping you down at the pole, he leaned in close If I want something, you do it!, with that he tapped you on the nose, before standing up again.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

You better hope and pray, that something else will kill you before he gets his hands on you. He stares down at the broken collar, then at his open front door. The laughter, that escapes him at this moment is strained. With a deep breath, he already knows where you went, and moves to follow you. The hunt is on. It was hard to get him to this point in your conversation, but maybe you actually got through to him. He looks at you with wet and wide eyes, before he suddenly sobs. Collapsing into your open arms, he burrows close to you. You try not to flinch, as his hands suddenly snake around your throat, but the click you hear, stuns you. We will meet each other again, right? Do this the right way again?, he asks as he gently puts the collar to the side. You can´t help yourself but to whisper a Of course! against his twitching ears. Blood covers his hands, his chest. He can feel how it already started to dry on his face, flaking off. This wasn´t supposed to happen. He didn´t intend to do this! Carefully, he pushed his hands beneath your body, to lift you up. He stumbles down the steps to the basement. It´s a bit of a fumble to get the lid open, but he finally manages it, as he lays you next to Strade. Huh. That looks almost cute. Flexing his claws, he tears open your chest cavity, and rips out your heart. As he bites into it, he gently closes your eyes, only to slide down to the floor and lean his back against the freezer. He starts to talk to you both. When he is finished, he will close the lid, and maybe watch a movie. Doesn´t he have something with you in it?

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

It´s with a spring in his step, that he carries you out of the bar. He waves off the concerns of the other patrons, whispering instead in approachable manner Drank a bit too much, you know how it can be. The rancorous laughter than follows tells him, he hit the right tone. He has to adjust you once or twice, hefting you higher up on his shoulder. The same lie becomes easier for him to tell over time. Such a good boy, one older lady comments, and he can´t help but giggle to himself. His hands only start to shake with adrenaline, after he deposited you on the bed, he had prepared for a guest. He fumbles with the collar, that he became very familiar with under Strade, before he gently clicks it around your neck. Carefully he adjusts, so that it won´t be uncomfortable for you to wear. It is with a smile, that he removes your shoes and jacket. He wonders if he should remove your jeans as well, before deciding that they must be terrible to sleep in. He hums lightly as he unbuttons them. His hands hovering over your body. Still asleep, the drugs he had put in your drink, still doing their job. He smiles, as he pulls the blanket over you. Shuts the curtain of the barred up window, and with a smile as he looks back at you, closes the door. It would have been nice, if you would have come to him, but this is perfect as well. He is giddy, as he runs down to the basement, to tell Strade about what happened today.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

He suppressed the instinctual snarl, the gnashing of his teeth, as another stranger bumped into him. Instead, he forced his lips into a kind smile. Holding tightly onto the mask, that let him seem like any other person in this bar. His skin was itching for blood and it had become such an overwhelming need to him, that he couldn´t tell any more if it was his instinct or his experience urging him to get blood to flow. He let his eyes sweep over the bar, when something suddenly drew all his attention. Your were just sitting there, looking at your drink as if it held all the answers to this world. Flinching away from every stranger, that would press themselves to close past you. A look of disgust openly on your face, when some would come to touch you in the process. It was almost cute to watch. Ren could feel his tail slowly swaying behind him, this could be a chance for him to pretend to be normal. After all, it looked like you wouldn´t even be able to tell the difference anyway. Something in him was still screaming for blood. It felt like a physical ache in his fangs and claws, and his ears twitched to take in every little sound you made, as he slowly stalked towards you. But there was something else as well. A ghost of someone – long dead, his heart gone – urging him forward with a gentle smile to reel you in. It wanted to see you cry. He shivered in delight as he imagined for a moment, what you would look like on your knees, face bloody and bruised, tears still streaking down your face, and mixing with your spit, as it dribbled down you chin and onto his old collar and your eyes wide as you looked only at him. He knew this would be fun, when he saw you flinch, when he greeted you.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

His ears perked further up, when he heard a faint sobbing coming from your room. For a moment he wondered, if he should lock the knife away, before shutting the stove off, and simply leaving it on the cutting board. Wiping his hands on a towel, he made his way to you. Gently knocking on the door frame, he announced his presence to you, as he had already made his way halfway into the room. He ignored your muffled Go away!, and sat down next to you on the bed. There, there he hushed you, as his claws gently carded through your hair. He busied himself with pulling some of the knots out, and pulling the matted parts gently apart, completely ignoring your wince or how you tried to pull away from him. When he deemed you decently groomed – as he would sometimes term it with a laugh on his face – he dropped down onto your bed next to you. Pulling you to lay on his chest, he hugged you close. He was still petting you, as he slowly dozed off. Dinner could wait for a bit longer.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

There is doubt in his heart, whenever he sees you cry. He is sure that you are his, in every shape and form that matters, but to see you cry breaks his heart every time. Maybe it would be better, when the two of you would part ways. Maybe it would be better of he could simply watch you from far away, instead if staying constantly by your side. Or maybe he should just make sure, that you stay forever with him. Heart by heart. No matter how bloody it would be. You recognize easily, that while Ren tends to be a bit overbearing, he never seems to touch you longer than he needs to. You caught him countless times staring at your mouth, only to laugh and blush when he realizes that you noticed it. His hands only ever seem to land on skin that is covered by clothing, or at least his touch never seems to demand more. It´s strange you think, idly watching how he is staring at you again slowly licking his lips, how he never acts on his desires. Almost as if he doubts himself.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

It´s when he gently kisses your forehead, as he tucks you in for the night, that you finally realize something. For all his bluster, for all the pain he causes you, he also always turns rather quickly back into a facsimile of kindness. He amps it up for you, when ever it seems that you´re playing into his delusions. You might loose yourself in them, but you have nothing else to loose any more. So you try it. And suddenly it seems that this vicious fox is at your every beg and call. You don´t ask about the basement or the screams and he never threatens to take you down there any more. You compliment his cooking and suddenly food seems something you never seem to lack. You never step into hall for the door outside, and he wants to take you on a thousand walks. You even stop fiddling with your collar and with time forget that it´s still active. He will give you everything that he can. You shall lack nothing, not even your freedom. He is of service to you. Especially now, that he can have this soft life with you, that he had always dreamt of.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Sometimes Ren watches you with such a cold calculating look in his eyes, that you can´t help but shiver. You know, that in those moments he is debating with himself. His grin sharpening, while he flexes his claws. As if he can´t quite decide if he should rip your throat out with his fangs or his claws. As if it would matter in the end. Your blood would be on his hands either way. In the end, he will relax again. He knows, just as well as you do, that there will come another opportunity for him to let go of his pent up aggression. Another misstep of you, which allows him to have a go at you, without feeling all guilty about it afterwards. You overstepping the bounds, he always lays so carefully out for you. And if you fight back, he might even get a taste of that precious blood of yours.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He loves, loves, loves you! From the moment, he first saw you, when you so trustingly, so full of blind faith, drunk the glass he gave to you, he knew it. He knew you would be perfect for him. He wants you to be there, by his side, for the rest of your lives, and he swears to himself, that he will do whatever it takes to make sure, that he can ensure, that your paths will not lead apart. He wants you to be there so badly, that he reassures himself, that the end will surely justify the means. Though, he will still very much react to the way you treat him. He will pull get you the moon if you so much as wish for it, but he also wants to make you aware, that all of this doesn´t come for free. He wants his love to be reciprocated by you, and he makes it abundantly clear to you as well. Otherwise, he won´t mind training you like a wild animal to simply love him. Hey, if it works, it works, right?

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He had already talked with you for so long, and know he was nearly shaking with excitement. The bar was quiet, nearly deserted as was the usual for The Jackalope, and he knew nobody would watch him too closely here. He waited with bathed breath for you to finally arrive, as he had finally managed to weasel the promise of a real meeting from you. The bottle of Rohypnol in his back pocket, that he tucked away, when leaving already told him how this night would go. Tonight, he would make sure, that he wouldn´t be alone any more, that the ghost would hopefully stop hounding his every step, as another person would fill this empty house once more. He just has to be patient, just has to be careful. Buy a drink, crush one or two, and then bring it back, with an innocent smile. He could do this. His eyes snapped upwards, as an angel walked in, and a sly smirk, quickly a gentle smile curved his lips, as he stood up and waved towards you. He would do this.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Ren will, if all else fails, scare you into compliance. He will hold out for as long as he can for a relationship for the two of you, like the ones in his stories. But if it all falls through, he will be satisfied with Stockholm syndrome setting in one day. And while he stills hope for that, showing kindness to you whenever he can without undermining himself, he shudders at the other options. Sometimes, not that he would ever tell you of it, he thinks about how he could break you apart. Though, he will think of what might follow in the end. He realizes rather quickly, that he would never want to see you break. He saw it too often. How only a shell it left, a hollow puppet that doesn´t respond any more. When he looks at you, he can never imagine being satisfied like that, and so he nourishes his hope, and makes kindness is weapon. He will get what he want, without breaking you. He just has to be a bit more patient.

[uzumaki-rebellion]

Some new fandom/fanfiction writing thoughts from me...

Author's Note:

This is just some thoughts I needed to get out because they kept me from finishing my Vampire!Terry Richmond Fic and forced me to start writing my "Sinners" fic I hadn't planned on dropping until April, but my spirit was moved to write by some aspects of the media hype of the "Sinners" new movie trailer release. It's stream of consciousness straight from the hip for Black History Month, so let ya girl cook!

Who remembers this movie?

Do you remember this dynamic duo? (Yes Dr. Karen Jenson!)

Do you remember what happened to most of the "Blade" fanfictions in that fandom as the series progressed (even into television)... and who got centered instead of Blade/Karen Jenson?

Blade essentially became a secondary character in his own franchise. He stopped knowing other Black folks, too. Even the writer of the original franchise David S. Goyer confessed that the studio wanted Blade to be white from jump.

Bitch...whut?

Others have written of this before with the Blade franchise. I personally have lamented the missed opportunity to expand the role of the sexy, beautiful, dark-skinned genius hematologist, Dr. Karen Jenson, played by the gorgeous and talented N'Bushe Wright. Who is still fine just so you know:

The de-centering of Black characters from their own leading roles in fandom is nothing new. Y'all remember this oldey but goodey?:

Remember how they did our girl Abbie Mills (played by the lovely and fabulous actress, Nicole Beharie)? She was the heart of the show with great chemistry between her and Ichabod (Tom Milson). But the Sleepy Hollow Showrunners started centering this heaux:

They even brought in Ichie and Katrina's old ass son Henry Parrish/Jeremy Crane:

Baybee, me and a ton of other Black women were OVER the sidelining of Abbie Mills. Don't even get me started on how they did baby girl by writing her off her own show. Soon it was looking like this:

Chile when I tell y'all Black women rode in like the Sin Eaters on that show and burned that bitch to the ground! No Abbie Mills? No more Nicole Beharie? Alright, bet. Nan one of you hoes is working then. The industry treated Nicole so bad after that show. She was blacklisted and experienced a hostile work environment with that American flavored soup du jour: racism. A recent book, "Burn It Down: Power, Complicity, and a Call for Change in Hollywood", broke down all the horrors Nicole Beharie went through bts.

Here was a show that gained popularity because of BLACK WOMEN. We started the weekly Tweet storms, chatted to each other, wrote fics, did panels about it at fandom conferences (I spoke on some and attended a few myself about the TV series). It was a sexy multicultural cast, a literal crack fic come to life that first season.

But then...the centering of whiteness rears its ugly head and ruins nice things.

Which brings me to the new "Sinners" movie trailer release, and my fears at seeing a lot of the media hype online (thumbnail photos, clips etc) pushing Hailee Stenfield a lot more than Michael B. Jordan (in a double role as twins!) or even the other Black women characters in the trailer.

They got Wunmi Mosaku in this bitch with Jayme Lawson.

You know Wunmi, right?

Marvel Wunmi in the Loki TV Series:

Lovecraft Country Wunmi:

Wunmi with Idris in "Luther" Season 5:

Then there's the exquisite Jayme Lawson from "MLK/X: Genius" with our new fic king at the moment, Aaron Pierre. He plays Malcolm X and she is Dr. Betty Shabazz:

Jayme playing the Queen in "The Woman King":

Jayme as the mayor in "The Batman" (she could be our next Angela Bassett with her acting range and beauty!):

Now, about that elephant in the room for me personally.

Hailee Steinfeld and Jack O'Connell.

Their images are everywhere, often more so than images of the star Michael B. Jordan. Twitter (I will never call it X), Threads, Bluesky, YouTube, TikTok et al, have them hyped up to the point where I'm worried that it will turn into a Blade situation. The white characters overshadowing the central Black one.

Of course, they're playing the vampires. The bad guys. The ones we want to see the Black people vanquish. Some bad guys are sexy if we're being honest (cough--Killmonger--cough). Life in Clarksdale, Mississippi, the birthplace of the Blues, is tough enough with racism, lynchings, prohibition...just white people nonsense in general, let alone white vampires. A horror movie has to have compelling antagonists to keep our interests. But again, the overshadowing of Michael in some places...

On IMDB, Hailee is listed first as the star, then comes Jack O'Connell, and then Michael B. Jordan. Y'all, the two white actors are listed first BEFORE Michael is. I don't care if Hailee was nominated for an Oscar at fourteen. (Black people should know by now the Oscars are highschool popularity contests for white people, and every now and then they throw a bone at negroes who act circles around them on any given day.)

How is Wallace Vince Killmonger Adonis Creed John Clark (aka Muffin to me), listed third in his own goddamn movie? Maybe this will change when the movie comes out, but...excuse me?

Give me a minute. I need to sip some tea to calm down.

I barely see Wunmi in online hype, and she has been in some pretty high profile roles the last few years, especially in superhero action projects. And it looks like she plays a Hoodoo practioner (like myself). I want to see more of her promoted too. Like why can't I see a photo of this on more fandom websites?

That question was rhetorical. We all know why.

The centering of whiteness even in Black spaces.

I already know the fanfiction that will be churned out soon by non-Black people. Shippings of Mary/Remmick (Steinfeld and O'Connell's characters in the movie). There will be the I/R shipping of Mary and Stack (Steinfeld and Jordan) because the ads are playing up their sexy juke joint dance everywhere. I'm beginning to get a sense of deja vu...a la Blade/Sleepy Hollow decentering vibes.

The trailer all but gave away most of the plot in terms of what the Black characters will be up against during Prohibition Mississippi. Moonshine and Monsters, with sprinklings of Black American Blues music, both real history and the myths of it with Robert Johnson/Crossroads energy. And clearly Mary, who starts off as human, will get turned into a vampire like Remmick...and then run off to dance with hot, sweaty negroes tryna have their own goddamn fun away from white racism and the dangers of white women turning into the o.g. Karen's of their day. Smh. Can't have nothing without white characters slithering in and causing chaos as usual, lol! (I'm looking at you Agent Ross in the Black Panther fandom, you dirty C.I.A. infiltrator!) Plus there's always some dumb Black man willing to risk it all for unseasoned coochie putting every other Black person in his community in danger.

I mean, even in real life, Black people can't even access DEI opportunities without white women taking all the spots. Now I gotta watch DEI Mary-the-vampire mess up Black people's good times? The horror!

Now I'm just fussing. America recently voted the orange racist/fascist menace back into the white house, and he brought his incompetent white people and their Pee-oh-See lackeys. (One day we have to have a conversation about why so many Indians from India in this country-- and their children-- side with white racism and use anti-Blackness to move ahead in America.) I'm a little salty with white folks right now, not gonna lie. We saw those voting exit polls where only Black women and Black men overwhelmingly voted for the correct side of history to try and stop the Magats by any means necessary with the little we had to work with. Forgive me if I'm grumbling and projecting this onto a fictional movie. Two beautiful dark-skinned women are also love interests in the film (based on the trailer), but I can't find them promoted as much as the white vampires? I don't like it.

Listen, I used to do screenwriting. I helped friends make short films for festivals. I also screened films to help choose projects for the L.A. Film Festival when that was still a thing when I was a member of Film Independent. I've done screenwriting fellowships, too. I understand film marketing, and the work it takes trying to get the largest audience possible to see a movie by pushing the big names or face draws to a project.

But...

I want Black things centered in "Sinners". In the long run it will be, because...Ryan Coogler is that dude.

I want this rambling lament to be a call to other Black fic writers who plan on seeing the film to write your asses off after you see it, and even before you see it based off the trailer. I want hundreds, if not thousands of "Sinners" fics stretching out the worldbuilding we'll soon see on the screen. Heck, I already have a prequel fic started that I want to post in the next few days once I finish it. @nahimjustfeelingit-writes has one out already, and I saw a couple more by other writers floating down my TL.

I want Smoke and Stack and their world steeped in Blackness so that they won't be isolated or damn near relegated to a corner like Blade or Abbie Mills was among their world of supernatural shenanigans by the end of their onscreen run.

I hope we write so much that no one would dare try to push these other Black characters aside. There's so much richness to work with: the Blues guitar singer (who has a fucking banjo inside the core of his magical guitar!), the Hoodoo woman, the Black sexy female love interest that Jayme plays, Delroy Lindo's piano player and his Native wife (I'm guessing), and even the Asian woman (probably descended from the Chinese railroad workers in Mississippi) . We need all the fics telling so many stories in this "Sinners" world.

Granted, fic writers are free to write what they want. Black writers will take a side Black character and create a whole universe for them outside of the main characters in a predominately white film/fandom. But that's only because Black characters are always set aside, shunned, or written in racist/stereotypical ways. They are often fetishized, turned into brutes, or given so much less time in the front. Me writing all this is not saying that non-Black writers can't write stories about Mary or Remmick or anyone they choose. They write/appropriate what they want anyway, so it doesn't matter. I'm only interested in what Black fic writers are going to create

I want to be selfish and see Wunmi and Jayme heralded and pined over even if their characters aren't used as much as Hailee's in the film. I want us to have our shine finally. I want "Sinners" fics that reflect that.

I want to see more Black fics with Black characters paired with Black characters.

I want Black fic readers discovering this new fandom and finding new writers and new stories celebrating us.

I want this movie to succeed and everyone who goes to see it having a good, scary, time.

I want to see Muffin show out in his first period piece. Dressed casket sharp with gold teeth, lol!

I want Black fic writers to be able to write Black horror period piece stories that aren't rooted in Black trauma. There will be so many magical/supernatural things to write about in "Sinners" that we don't even have to touch on the horrors of historic white racism in America if we don't want to.

I promise you, Black people back then experienced joy, wonder, falling in love, and going up against antagonists that weren't always white people or white racism, or even the remnants of our enslaved past. The Klan ain't got to show up! Lol! Hell, white people don't even have to show up in your story. Coogler even hinted that there were more things other than vampires going on in the movie. We'll see. But my point is, we can create "Sinners" fics that Black readers won't have to fear dwelling on Black trauma porn as a plot point.

So...my fellow MBJ/Coogler fans...can we write the hell out of this new fandom? Revel in Blackness? Enjoy our latest entry into the vampire genre?

I would love to hear people's thoughts after they see the movie in April!

Last thought: If you know of some "Sinners" fics, share them!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 3/11/2025

job acquired :) not a well paying job with good benefits but an inside job sitting down and not a public facing job :)

phil is celebrating by meticulously cleaning her toes approximately three inches from my face

listening

you know when a guy is So popular it’s kind of annoying but they keep churning out bangers? i feel this way about monsieur bébé sans argent

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reading

this is both a very funny problem to have and a very charming article

“His publicist said no,” Dixit said. “But Jeremy said, ‘Wait, you’re from Wikipedia? For the love of God, please take down that photo. You’d be doing me a service.’ So he stood and posed, and I got a shot of him.” Strong’s old photo was from 2014.

DNF, bc the author and i have fundamentally different ideas about paragraph breaks, and i suffered through four chapters before bailing bc the situation did not improve.

im beginning to think Bella Books and i have fundamentally different ideas about editing and books as finished products. next week i might do a blitz through the five or six i have left and we’ll see how that shakes out/how many we have left total. i intended for this project to go at least up to pride but maybe it ends earlier and that’s fine. maybe i go back to the gay thrift and see if there’s anything new in. maybe i trawl through some early lesbian pulp? i meant to read a lesbian noir this week after i bounced off this one but i simply did not have time :(

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watching

https://www.tcm.com/video/221132/ride-lonesome-original-trailerh

Ride Lonesome (1959, dir. Boetticher). i promise i picked and started this without knowing lee van cleef was in it.

(Criterion) Mysterious motivations drive taciturn bounty hunter Ben Brigade (Randolph Scott) to capture a wanted murderer—but his quest is complicated when he is accosted by a pair of outlaws who have their own inscrutable reasons for riding along. Masterfully scripted by Burt Kennedy, who weaves a complex web of ambiguous loyalties and motives, and featuring supporting turns by genre icons James Coburn (in his film debut) and Lee Van Cleef, the first of the Ranown westerns to be shot in CinemaScope makes striking use of the enlarged frame—with a final shot that stands as perhaps the single most unforgettable image in the series.

a barely feature length b-western that punches far above its weight vis-a-vis actor performance and cinematography. unfortunately it’s real fucking weird about women. everyone is openly salivating over this poor young widow. now, her figure is insane. it looks like she has a fucking eighteen inch waist. this one is so much more blatant about being weird about women, well past winks, innuendo, and a sort of chivalrous courtliness: a real line i stopped and jotted down: “…the deep lonely need only a man can get at about a woman.”

another line from Pernell of Bonanza fame (so weird to see him in a non-Bonanza context): “Those Indians are only shooting at us cause we’re white :( “. i think i am enjoying Randolph Scott performances over Gary Cooper performances in ye olde american westerns, mostly bc gary cooper does not have the tired but vaguely puckish air of my favorite great-uncle.

why’d i watch this? short. poob had it for me.

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playing

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making

porthos socks by caoua coffee in patons kroy on size 2 bamboo DPNs. these will eventually be for my brother, it was so fucking satisfying to nail the gauge on the first try after not knitting socks for four years. this is a pattern that is just interesting enough to keep my attention but not too spicy to take on the bus, which i will do as soon as i get my badge bc i do not relish taking this through security at work. they took the sewing kit and tailor’s tape (for thrifting when there are no dressing rooms) today bc apparently the tape can be a garrote??? i have learned more ways to harm people from venue and building security than i could have ever dreamed up on my own.

[eemolu]

umm.. which d20 season should i watch (to start or next)??

in honor of brennan releasing basically the exact same video on dropout literally today, here's an unhinged list i've been working on for longer than i'd like to admit.

IF YOU’VE NEVER SEEN D&D BEFORE OR ARE LOOKING TO GET INTO TTRPGS • Fantasy High ⁃ I mean obviously. The cast is learning 5e right alongside the players, but also, they’re learning about each other. They’ve never played before. You’ve never watched them play before. There aren’t any inside jokes that you’re missing out on because you haven’t made them yet ⁃ The setting and characters are a great mixture of dnd tropes and familiar media tropes, so even the jokes you don’t get you kind of do also get ⁃ 3 seasons and a movie (counting the liveshows) • Unsleeping City s1 ⁃ Oh, you don’t like fantasy stuff. You find elves annoying. You’ve never seen Lord of the Rings and you don’t care to. Great! This season is urban fantasy and the fairies are all parodies of characters from the Godfather. ⁃ Still early enough that the cast is still fairly new and you’re not missing much. Also it’s incredible ⁃ 1.75 seasons and a stage production (one season, one covid zoom season that’s incredible but takes a sec to get used to, and a madison square garden liveshow complete with pyrotechnics) • Dungeons and Drag Queens ⁃ Learn with the queens. Love with the queens. Cry with the queens ⁃ Brennan is being a Nice Guy DM so generally things go how you want ⁃ It’s kind of like watching a bunch of people remember what it’s like to be in third grade and invent an entire world at recess and decide who has storm powers and who has seventeen imaginary cats and who has a sword that’s also a gun

I DON’T LIKE D&D BUT I STILL WANT TO WATCH!! • Mismag ⁃ They’re not playing dnd they’re playing kids on brooms and Aabria mostly eschews combat, so don’t worry ⁃ First season is a misdirect to get you to the second season ⁃ Smaller cast of characters and only one (haunted) white man. Sick. • A Court of Fey and Flowers ⁃ Technically still dnd but only for the purposes of letting these high drama idiots pretend to kill each other ⁃ They spend most of the air time sending letters, flirting autistically, and massaging butts ⁃ Emily Axford & Lou Wilson spend the whole season serving cunt and invoking jeremy renner • Never Stop Blowing Up ⁃ They made up their own action movie game system ⁃ “The universe was created by a big bang. And in that case, is not all of existence a bullet? You catch the cannonball and throw it at the helicopter” ⁃ Practical fart effects

THEY DON’T DO ENOUGH COMBAT, I THINK. I WANT MORE KILLING. • Coffin Run ⁃ Jasmine Bhullar loves combat. Every time you think she’s done there’s another mini ⁃ Complex train calculations have real world battle implications ⁃ Instead of hit points they drink blood • The Seven ⁃ A bunch of women gather together to kick the shit out of Brennan specifically ⁃ Combat flow charts! Rolling thirty d20 with advantage for your attack geese! Etc!! • A Crown of Candy ⁃ IH season most focused on combat. It’s also the most lethal. Brennan is actively trying to kill them the entire time ⁃ The roleplay episodes WILL make you cry so keep that in mind. This is the season that made Lou start smoking cigarettes again to cope ⁃ There are also the covid zoom adventuring parties which are great

I WANT THERE TO BE A MYSTERY I CAN SOLVE • Neverafter ⁃ This season is the perfect blend of mystery and all the other stuff that makes DnD a great game. Sick combats. Complex yet familiar world building. The line “the smile of a devil you never believed in.” ⁃ Players really at their best and fully dialed into all the various factions which is good bc the lore is HEAVY ⁃ Beardsley is the grandpa with the plot important prop and Murph is a silly divorcée so there are plenty of shenanigans still • Fantasy High ⁃ Every single season of this has a great mystery at the heart with enough clues that you could figure it out ahead of time, maybe. I never did but that’s a me thing ⁃ Brennan kept a secret for 5 years of his real adult life for the sickest reveal of all time. Sam Reich torturing Gamechanger contestants coded. ⁃ Riz Gukgak is there • Mentopolis ⁃ If Inside Out was a 1930s noir ⁃ Large part of the mystery requires them to contemplate what’s going on with their big guy’s junk… there’s buzzing down there! It’s narratively important! ⁃ Hank Green is there • Of Mice and Murder ⁃ I’ve never seen this one but it’s The Mystery Season so. I assume it fits well into this category

WATCHED A FEW SEASONS AND NEED TO KNOW WHAT’S NEXT • Starstruck ⁃ DON’T ask questions just watch NOW ⁃ The funniest season hands down and immediately post covid so the vibes are joyous. Stupid. Perfect. The first major battle includes an exploding MLM sex goo factory and it only goes up from there ⁃ Brennan’s mom is there • Burrow’s End ⁃ IMO one of the perfect ways to get into the d20 sidequests, especially if you’re like “ugh but I’m going to miss the intrepid heroes though…” ⁃ Every PC is related. Specifically Izzy Rolland (my beloved) and Siobhan Thompson (my beloved 2) are playing Brennan’s children and they are having a GOOD time ⁃ Three gross battle sets and a lightning gun

I’M TIRED OF LORE I WANT TO SEE THE GIRLS GO CRAZY • Time Quangle ⁃ The whole point of the tour was to go hm… what would happen if all the characters got smushed together and nothing made sense? ⁃ Does require some knowledge of previous seasons and has minor spoilers ⁃ Also has a Beardsley nat 20 so spectacular the PCs beat Brennan up right there on the stage in front of God and everybody • NSBU ⁃ The directive of the season from Brennan was “what if I never said no? What if I just yes anded everything that got thrown my way?” and YEAH dude he DELIVERED ⁃ Looked right at camera and said “Let me out baby!! It’s time for Daddy to have fun!!!” ⁃ Basically Beardsley is playing the straight man if you can believe it

[ririright]

“Hell Is Other People’s Triplets: Tales from the Monroe Front Lawn”

Triplets! Scott, Sam, & Stephen x Mother! Reader

Teddy the Paper Boy (Age 13, rides a neon green bike with anime stickers)

Opinion: “I throw that paper like it’s a grenade.”

- Has been hit with a rogue football mid-route courtesy of Scott’s warm-up toss.

- Sam stuck his head out the window at 6 AM and screamed, “GET OFF MY LAWN, CAPITALIST SWINE!”

- Stephen once chased him barefoot down the block because he folded the paper wrong and creased the crossword. Teddy has a recurring nightmare about it.

Gerald the Mailman (Age 56, listens to the Joe Rogan podcast while delivering mail)

Opinion: “Those boys are going to be on True Crimes one day, mark my words.”

- Sam signs for the mail with weird names like “Lucifer Meow”

- Scott opened the door shirtless with protein powder smeared on his face like war paint. Gerald didn’t blink.

- Stephen offered him a manuscript of his 900-page sci-fi novel titled “Quantum Lust.”

- Gerald now hurls packages from the street like he’s delivering justice in an action movie.

Agnes & Harold Blumenthal (84 & 88, powered by decaf and spite, Married since WW2 ended)

Opinion: “They’re demon clones. That poor, poor woman.”

- Sam told Agnes he was “summoning the devil through drums.”

- Scott once hit a football through their birdbath. Harold yelled and Scott flexed as an apology.

- They’re convinced Stephen is building something in the garage “that’ll vaporize the sun.”

- Every time the boys walk by, Agnes clutches her pearls like she’s about to be mugged.

Jodie the Neighborhood Dog Walker (Age 28, owns 6 dogs, 2 pepper sprays and 1 taser “just in case”)

Opinion: “I walk dogs, not demons.”

- Scott barked at her once while lifting weights in the front yard. Her poodle hasn’t recovered.

- Sam tried to give her weed in trade for her Great Dane’s spiked collar.

- Stephen walked with her once to lecture about cross breeding and the invention of the “Labradoodle”. She hasn’t made eye contact since.

- Avoids their side of the block entirely now—routes her walks through a cemetery instead.

Janine the Neighborhood Watch President (Age 49, owns binoculars, quotes HOA bylaws like scripture)

Opinion: “Those boys are a walking violation.”

- Has a folder titled “Monroe Incidents” with timestamps, photos, and footnotes.

- Sam moonwalked in front of her Ring Doorbell and flipped her off.

- Scott revved a dirt bike in front of her house during quiet hours.

- Stephen secretly sends her neighborhood violation reports… about Janine.

Elder Brayden & Elder Chase (Mormon Solicitors) (Both 19, wear matching white shirts, always smiling)

Opinion: “We believe even they can be saved…probably.”

- Sam asked if they accept “the Church of Satan’s Bassline.”

- Stephen invited them in to debate theology and served decaf tea “to make a point.”

- Scott asked if they could bless the Xbox. They tried. It did not help.

- (y/n) gave them lemonade and whispered “Good luck, boys. Wear a helmet next time.”

Kyle the Pizza Delivery Guy (Age 22, rides a scooter, probably high)

Opinion: “If I have to hear about ‘extra ranch’ one more time…”

- Sam tried to pay with coins and a sketch of Nosferatu.

- Scott challenged him to a push-up contest before paying.

- Stephen asked him to solve a riddle before opening the door.

- Jeremy just drops the pizza and runs now. He leaves Post-it notes that say, “You people scare me.”

Gary the Milkman (Age 47, wears suspenders, has a handlebar mustache, owns a dairy-themed blog)

Opinion: “I’ve seen things. Heard things. Smelled things.”

- Sam moos at him. Every. Single. Morning.

- Scott chugs the whole bottle in one go on the porch while staring at Gary like it’s a dominance contest.

- Stephen asked if milk expiration dates are a government conspiracy.

- (y/n) told him she doesn’t even subscribe to milk delivery, but he keeps showing up.

Kaitlyn the Girl Scout (Age 9, glitter jacket, terrifyingly persuasive)

Opinion: “Those boys don’t scare me. I run this block.”

- Sold Sam five boxes of Thin Mints after threatening to tell (y/n) he was vaping.

- Beat Scott in a push-up contest. Twice.

- Stephen now hides behind the curtains when she knocks. She once corrected his math and he’s never forgiven her (he was off by a decimal).

- She calls them “The Tall Toddlers.” They pretend to hate her. They actually love her cookies.

- Sam owes her $12. Scott owes her his dignity.

Kyle the DoorDash Guy (Age 26, vapes, listens to true crime podcasts while delivering)

Opinion: “They scare me. But the mom? Queen.”

- Sam asked him if he “wanted to be in a music video about capitalism.”

- Scott invited him to lift weights. Kyle accidentally sprained his wrist trying to bench an empty bar.

- Stephen asked about his “life goals” while analyzing his bag organization.

- Now leaves food in a cooler they leave on the porch labeled “DOORDASH GUY – DO NOT ENTER. EVER.”

- Once got a thank-you note signed “The Monroe Cult.” Still hung it on his wall.

Cheryl the Mayor Campaigner (Age 62, power blazer, clipboard of doom, runs on caffeine and justice)

Opinion: “If those boys vote… we’re doomed.”

- Sam asked her how many bodies the mayor had buried under City Hall.

- Stephen actually debated her on municipal tax code and she lost. She’s still emotionally recovering.

- She told (y/n) that her children are “the embodiment of democracy in crisis.”

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Golden Globes

Characters: Jeremy Allen White x Reader

Summary: A quick blur on what it would be like to be by Jeremy's side at the golden globes.

Warnings: Cursing, anxiety.

"I can't go"

You exhaled tiredly plopping down on his couch.

"It'll be okay, I want you by my side. Everything will be great and it might even be fun." Jeremy sat next to you, resting his hand on your thigh.

You glanced over at him and then closed your eyes leaning your head back. The knots you felt in your stomach were nauseating.

"Look, I know how daunting it is but it's a big night for me and it would mean a lot if you were there" He sighed, looking down at his hand on your leg.

There was silence between both of you.

You drove past The Hilton where you saw them setting up for the golden globes. You and Jeremy have been dating on the down low for the past 6 months. It was hard with always leaving at odd hours of the night in different disguises. You would enter and leave places separately. But as difficult as it was, you both had the privacy to spend time with each other without the pressure of the press or public.

You were a high school teacher. You weren't used to this environment. Hell, he was barely used to it as this point. He understood how you felt and didn't want to make you feel trapped. But this was a big night for him, and he needed you there. He wasn't completely comfortable himself as this was still not normal for him, but having you there would steady him.

"But everything will change" You spoke out quietly.

Jeremy took a deep breath. He glanced at you and saw the anxiety in your body. Your shoulders were bunched up, and your hands were in tight bundles.

You rolled your head over to him and looked at his blue eyes that were searching your face.

"I know... But wouldn't you prefer that they find out our way than we getting caught some night and it being all over the internet?" He asked with his head leaning on his arm on the back of the couch.

Your mind flickered back to so many close times of getting caught. When ducking when driving around or always looking around to see if you could sneak a quick kiss. The only time you felt truly at peace was in bed with him. His body was close to yours. No risk of anyone seeing you. Whether being in his embrace in the intimate moments you shared or watching your favorite movies sharing food. You were afraid of never feeling that peace again.

His hands were caressing you gently. His fingers brushed your hair and grazed down your cheek. His fingertip outlining your lips. His touch did make you calm down a little but the anxiety was still there.

"They're going to destroy me," you whispered, keeping your eyes on his.

You knew that people were going to speak about you being a teacher and not being good enough for him.

"Fuck 'em" He whispered, gently stroking your cheek.

"You just focus on us."

There you sat in complete awe, looking at your boyfriend accepting a golden globe. You looked around and saw all eyes were on him. You felt so proud after seeing how hard he worked in this short time you've known him, you knew he deserved it.

"...... I'm completely overwhelmed with this. Uhh-" He glanced at the award in his hand.

"I just want to say thank you to everyone I've worked with on The Bear, you made this happen for me and I'm forever grateful...." He looked around and finally his eyes landed on you.

"Uh-and finally.. thank you sweetheart for coming with me tonight and always being by my side" He raised his golden globe before giving a light wave and making his way off stage.

You could feel everyone's stare on you and you cheeks were on fire. You couldn't believe that he acknowledge you on live television in front of millions. You just wanted to be there for him but he was clearly making sure that people knew you were with him tonight.

You watched as he made his way back as other nominees were getting called out for another category. He came over and sat beside leaning over and giving you a light reassuring kiss.

"I can't believe you got it babe" You whispered looking at the award on the table between both of you.

"Me neither." He smiled genuinely, looking you up and down while wrapping his arm around your waist of your backless dress.

You gave him a light slap on the chest for making your blush even more if that was possible.

Masterlist of other fics

[dottydoesstuff]

The Killing Moon (steve harrington x reader)

based off the song The Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen

can be read as a part two to this fic or on its own

warnings: Unrequited (????) love, hurt no comfort, angst, kissing, alcohol, parties, swearing and a guy that smells like cabbage (lmk if i missed any) no use of Y/N, reader is described to be wearing a dress but no other description other then that

1.1K words <3

Steve Harrington is a stupid, stupid man. He knew that, really, he did. It was being proven to him time and time again, his own stupidity and poor decisions were being thrown back in his face. His poorest decision to date was not confessing his perennial love for you before you found someone else. It's not like he didn't have a chance to tell you, you're his best friend, you see each other everyday without fail. He'd had an infinite amount of chances but ultimately was too much of a wuss to do anything. 

Steve sighed as he grabbed another drink from the makeshift bar that had been set up on Tina's kitchen table and started shoving through the crowds of people to find somewhere quiet to wallow in self pity. The banging music and general cheerful mood of the party was getting too much for him. Unfortunately fate was not on his side, it rarely was. Karma for being such a dick in highschool he supposed as he heard a laugh. A laugh he has heard a thousand times before. A laugh that haunts him. Your laugh. 

You were here. With him. 

You hadn't seen Steve, not when He was distracting your every sense. You looked….. Ethereal. Too good for this world, far too good for Steve and definitely too good for that guy. Steve didn't even know what you saw in him, you had told Steve about him, raving about how great he was and how you were sure that they'd get along. His name was  James or Jake, maybe josh? Steve couldn't remember, it's Jeremy’s own fault really, he should get a better name. Steve watched as Jack-Josh-Jake’s half smirk bewitched you and his hands wandered to the hem of your dress. Steve stood staring, never occurring to him that he probably looked rather creepy, as he cursed whatever higher power there was for letting that smug bastard be born. He just couldn't understand, this guy was barely 6’, had god awful hair and vaguely smelt like cabbage. What was the attraction? 

After around two minutes of Steve trying to explode Jason (?) with his mind he spotted the door to the back garden and started to make his way over there whilst vowing to brush up on his telekinesis skills so he could throw that guy through a wall or something. 

He sat on a lonely bench on the porch facing the garden, watching the moon as it cast dancing shadows, holding his drink with white knuckles and trying not to let his thoughts linger where they shouldn't. 

“Hey stranger”

The sound of your voice made him jump which made you giggle slightly. He would make a fool of himself again and again if it meant that he could hear that noise every time. 

“What you doin’ sitting out here all by yourself hmm ?” 

you said as you sat down next to him, close enough that he could smell the liquor on your breath and the heat radiating off you. 

“Oh nothin’ just .. chillin’” 

Steve grimaced at his response 

“Well can I just chill with you? ” 

You chuckle while nudging his shoulder slightly.

Steve looked you in the eyes for the first time that night and gave a small nod. He didn't trust himself not to say something absolutely insane like how he was so in love with you that the smell of your perfume was more intoxicating than the beer he had been half heartedly sipping on or that the feeling of your arm against him was occupying so many of his thoughts that he probably couldn't even tell you where he was right now or how-

“Stevie, can I ask you something ?” 

Stevie, oh god you could ask him for his arm and he would saw it off and present it to you without hesitation. 

“Yeah whats- whats up ?” 

“I don't know, it's probably stupid, I'm just worried about you, y’know? you've been acting… different?”

“You're worried about me?”

“Steve, I’m always worried about you” 

Steve couldn't fight off the grin that erupted on his face. His entire body felt hot at your confession. He was pathetic. 

“Why are you smiling Steve, I'm serious, is something going on?”

It was his chance, probably his last one. He was going to do it, tell you he loved you and wanted to date you and have children and get married, well probably not all that, he might come off a bit intense. You sat looking at him expectantly as he turned to face you. The words died on his tongue as he realised how close together the two of you were. 

“I-” Steve started “ I just wanted to tell you-” he couldn't finish the sentence.

“Tell me what, steve ple-” 

He cut you off as he cupped your cheek and kissed you.

A surprised sound left your mouth before you slowly close your eyes and sunk into his lips.

Your kiss was cruel, cruel as he knew he would spend the rest of his life trying to find some semblance of it and would fail to. Cruel in the way your lips fit so perfectly with his, flawlessly moulding together and cruel in the way that he knew that there was no coming back from this. He was absolutely fucked. He was kissing his best friend, his best friend who was the one person he could not lose, his best friend who belonged to someone else. 

Maybe it was fate ,he thought, maybe he was meant to be sat out here and you were meant to find him and this was meant to happen, or maybe it was the sheer might of human will and his lack of self control or maybe it was cheap beer and hormones. Whatever it was he was glad of it. 

Slowly, you pull away, your forehead resting against his, eyes closed and expression unreadable. 

Steve had never felt so content, he was in such a state of bliss that it was a rather rude awakening then the patio door banged open shattering the delicate bubble that surrounded you both. 

You jumped up at the noise, whipping around toward the door. 

“babe, i've been lookin’ for you” 

His speech was slurred as he sauntered towards you. Steve thought Jackson’s face had never looked so punchable.

You walked towards the unwelcome intruder and grabbed his arm, giving him a small smile as you dragged him back inside, not sparing Steve a glance. 

Steve felt his heart crack and dread fill his stomach. This was it, you would never speak to him again, he would become a drunken mistake, a mere annotation in your story. His own thoughts devastated him as he looked back up at the sky, the blue moon looking back down at him. The only thing that comforted him now was the knowledge that he was yours, unabashedly and perpetually, his heart lay with you and it was yours to keep. Steve just hoped you would be a little more careful with it from now on.

[aledethanlast]

Jeremy shows up to practice fifteen minutes early and finds Jean in the team lounge. "This is for you," he says.

Jean expects those words, like all the other times he's heard them, to be accompanied with a bright smile and flowers, or chocolate, or a plate of whipped cream to the face—don't worry, revenge was had—but instead finds himself staring at...a note.

White flash card, folded twice, one corner bent back down halfway for no good reason at all, and the memories hit Jean like a racquetto the head. How many of those noted had he been given? Shoved into hands without stopping to look and passed on just as quickly.

Jean is a man of instincts. Reflexes. Ingrained responses so deep the brain need not bother, for the body already knows.

And this note is a cue his body knows too well. One, take the note before anyone can think to come near it. Two, shove it into his pocket before anyone can see. Three, storm down the hall to tell Kevin that he is NOT waiting for 45 minutes again while he agonizes over a two fucking sentence response, and—

The door opens again, San Diego sunlight blinding him as two more teammates come in, and Jean remembers Kevin isn't here. Which means. Which means.

He unfolds the paper too quickly—it would've torn if it had been thinner, but the thick flash card just gets stuck. Typical. Holy shit, typical.

Thea's handwriting is the same precise script as ever (except the lowercase g's for some reason). The letters are smaller than the guidelines, like she didn't know how much space she needed to write everything she wanted to say.

Hi Jean. Kevin says you're doing well. Or rather, Kevin says that Jeremy says. Not that I think Jeremy would lie, but there's only one messenger I've every really trusted, and that's you. I'll be in SD sometime next week. Give me a call.

A phone number is scrawled beneath. No signature. Overall, it takes just over half the card; either she miscalculated or she had more to say but instead chose self censure. Both options are unlike her.

The myriad pieces of Jean's mind read the note, over and over, all slightly out of synch from one another so rather than comprehension he only gets nose.

"Jean?" Jeremy's had on his shoulder, concerned. Jeans hand jerks upwards, sharply, and then he brings it back down as he turns to face Jeremy, pretending he hadn't been this close to stuffing the note in his mouth. "You good, man?"

Good question. Great, even. Jean has a better one. "Who gave you the note?"

Jeremy frowns even harder. It doesn't suit him, brow furrowed like that when he isn't trying to run through a backliner like they're made of tissue paper. "Coach Rhemann came back from Texas this morning, told me Muldani gave it to him. With very specific instructions not to open it. I met Coach, he gave it to me."

Of course. Thea doesn't ask for things; it's the first piece of advice she ever gave him. If you want, and you can, then do it. Forget who might stand in your way; they can only try, same as you.

"Jean?" Jeremy asks again. "What did the note say?"

Thea wanted to pass a message to Jean without Jeremy in the way. Well, maybe fuck what Thea wants. Jean hands him the note. Jeremy skims it, raises a brow. "What does she mean, that she only trusts you?"

His concern, born of meeting Jean back at Abby Winfield's house and fed by the steady trickle of Jean's stories of the Nest, seems momentarily absurd. "The Ravens weren't allowed to date," Jean says simply, as he had many times before. When Jeremy seems to catch on, he nods at the note. "I was their favorite messenger. Well. I was the only one who wouldn't sell them out."

"Why didn't you?"

Because Kevin was his friend. Because Thea deserved better than anything the Nest could ope to give her, much less dare to deny. Because every breath Jean took in protest to that tar pit came filled his lungs just a little bit deeper.

"Because then I got to read Kevin's love letters."

Jeremy's eyes go wide. "Shakespeare?"

"Poe."

Some teammates turn at the sound of their captain's laughter. More turn when they hear him hit the floor. Jean gives them all a plain look.

He takes the note back from Jeremy's twitching fingers—it's best to let him wear himself out on such occasions—and stares at the phone number.

Thea does not ask, she acts. If Thea wants to come down here and see him, then nothing stands in her way.

Except Jean. If he doesn't call, if he doesn't show, he's sure she won't push. She will never call or text or write a note to him again and all he has to do is nothing.

The thought rumbles through the dark halls of his mind that still belong to the Nest, like a freight train pushing forward too much air, pushing, pushing until the wall ahead falls apart from the pressure and—

Sunlight. The lounge door is open again. More teammates, almost late, confused by their laughing captain.

Jean takes out his cell.

[verynastyspoon]

Scout x Fem!reader pt.7

Summary: Christmas with his family

word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Angst

Authors note: I know he’s from boston but shut up

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º••º•º•

Christmas season has fallen across New Mexico, the green grass has been covered in bright white snow and the normally hot, sweaty weather has become cold and icy.

By now you and Scout have been together for almost a year, and he has the brilliant idea to bring you to meet his family. Now you two are on the road to his childhood home.

“I’m nervous, what if your mom doesn’t like me?”

“Trust me, she will,” He reassuringly puts a hand on your thigh with a small smile. “Its my brothers you have to worry about.”

“How so?”

“There are 7 of them and let’s just say they dont know how to treat the ladies like I do.”

“Ya because you’re just so good with the ladies.” You say, sarcastically teasing him.

“Hey! I’m great with the ladies, that’s how I got you.”

You smile at him in defeat. “True.”

You two pull up to the boisterous house, it is jam packed with cars so you have to park in the road. You open up the car door and you both walk to the front of his childhood home

Scout knocks on the door, you wait a few moments before a door is swung open “Jeremy!” His mom kisses his cheeks “I missed you so much!”

“Ma don’t embarrass me infront of my girl.”

She gasps in shock. “Is this the girlfriend i’ve heard so much about!?”

“Hi i’m y/n, Jermemy’s girlfriend.” You put your hand out for a hand shake but quickly pulls you into a hug.

“Don’t be a stranger come in!” His mom says energetically.

You and scout walk in to all of his brothers drinking, screaming, fake fighting, and playing baseball in the house. But it all stops the second you walk in.

The eldest brother is the first to speak up. “Hey tiny who is this babe?” He says checking you out

Jeremy frowns at this statement, taking a step forward cover you. “This ‘babe’ happens to be my girlfriend.”

The whole room goes silent again before laughter erupts. “You cant be serious! Why would such a sexy young girl date a loser like you?!”

As the night wears on the insults, and the flirting only get worse. All of his brothers try to swoon you over to no avail, Jermey has tried to keep his cool but he’s about to snap.

One of Jeremys copy and paste brothers try a different approach of winning you over, a more touchy one. “Come on baby lets got out of here.” He puts his hands on your waist. “We both know he’s a little loser twink, he might even be gay. How about you try a real man.”

Jeremy turns around to see the jarring scene unfolding, that’s when erupts. “DONT FUCKING TOUCH HER!” He punches his brother in the face, hard enough to hear a crack.

“Jeremy stop!” You yell, scared of what he might do to him.

“No im not gonna fucking stop! Somebody has to stand up to these guys since you clearly don’t care. All of them flirting, telling you i’m a loser, all these other fucking things and you just sit there! You probably even fucking like it, having all these men fight for your attention!”

You stand there shocked at what your boyfriend just said, mouth covered by your hands, with tears in your eyes. “Fuck you.” You say weakly, then run outside crying.

“Y/n wait! I’m sorry!” Jeremy starts to run after you but is stopped by this mother.

“Give her a few minutes, trust me”

Jermey think for a moment, with a sigh he nods.

“And all of you,” His mother says sternly. “should be ashamed of yourselves. Go outback and think about what you’ve done. Jeremy you stay here.”

All of them men grumble in disapproval but oblige.

Jeremy’s mom sits down on the couch, patting the spot next to her. “Sit.”

Jeremy sits down with his head in his hands. “I never should have said that.”

His mom thinks for a moment. “That’s true but you were just upset at your brothers being immature.” She gives him a hug. “It’s gonna be okay, I know you love her. Now go explain why you did that and how sorry you are.”

Jeremy nods then walks outfront. “Hey.” He says softly.

“What do you want?” You say, wiping the tears from your eyes.

“I’m sorry.” He sits down next to you. “They were just,” He sigh “being assholes.”

“That doesn’t mean you get to be one to me!”

“I know I know” He takes a deep breath. “When I was little I would always try to woo the girls, give them flowers, chicken, compliments, anything I could think of. But one of my brothers would always swoop in and take her from me. I’m just scared they’re gonna do that to you.” He says weakly.

“Jeremy, you know I would never do that.”

“I know but I don’t know, you know?” He groans “I’m so sorry I just love you so much, and when you weren’t telling them off and just going along it freaked me out.”

“I wasn’t trying to just go along, I was scared. I didnt wanna make a bad impression. I plan on being around for a long time so I just wanted them to like me.”

“I guess they liked you a little too much.” He says trying to add some humor to the situation.

You dont reply, still just staring at the ground.

“I know I fucked up,” He takes you hand. “but please forgive me.”

You take a deep breath in and nod. “Okay but never do that again.”

He quickly pulls you into a hug smiling brightly. “Thank you!” He kisses your cheek. “I’ll never act like that again.” He holds you a few more moments before letting go. “Now how about we go tell my brothers to go fuck themselves.”

You giggle and nod.

“Nice, let‘s go.” He takes your hand and runs outback. “Hey assholes!” He yells at all his brothers.

They turn to listen. “Watch this!” He pulls you into a deep kiss with lots of tongue. “This is my girl and she doesn’t want any of your sorry asses!. Now excuse us im gonna go home and fuck her better than any of you ever could. You’re all welcome to watch if you wanna see what a real man looks like.” You and Scout start to walk away when he notices his brothers are following. “I was joking about watching you freaks.”

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º••º•º•

[fictionfrequency1]

Audio Drama Sunday - 13th July

It has been a crazy couple of weeks, but my dog is spinning round in circles in the hallway. I hope you have the equivalent of a daft dog in your day too

@lawofnamesmedia’s At the Bottom of the Garden — S1E38 - S1E40: what a great mystery! I liked the season one ending, and there were so many loose ends that I was pleased to see tied up. Of course, there were also a lot of loose ends that didn’t get explained. I can’t wait for season 2, with (hopefully) more backstory on Nadia and maybe a bit more about Charlotte too, along with Aidan and Chris. Also, hearing the post script, where the actors are all named, kind of threw me for a loop. Technically I knew Aidan Moss probably wasn’t the name of the creator, but it was still weird knowing that Aidan’s voice actor and the show’s creator were two totally different people. Keeping the crew a secret really added to the immersion! 🧚

@straylungs’ Hearthbound — episode 4: it’s such a delight to get to continue with this show, considering how much I loved the first three episodes. I haven’t continued actually reading my copy of The Odyssey, but Hearthbound manages to be really soothing even while it’s being objectively kind of disturbing. Odessa and her kindness and her music make the plot feel soothing even as she gets shot at by Cal, sees an unsettling stranger in a sandstorm and gets trapped inside a nuclear test site. Plus, the SFX doesn’t miss — especially the moaning sand dune. If you like history, the content Jo Chiang references in the show notes is very cool too, especially the long-term nuclear waste warning messages. 🕯️

@theholmwoodfoundation— Episode 4: The Holmwood Foundation might be my new favourite horror podcast. I’m loving every interaction between Jeremy and Maddie, and also Jonathan and Mina. The latest extract on THF’s blog about John Seward crushed me (don’t ignore your friends!) and what happened to Tom in this episode added insult to injury. I’m so looking forward to how Jeremy reacts when he comes back again. Also, I’ve definitely jumped on the ‘not trusting Arthur’ bandwagon. I don’t trust Jeremy’s dad either, but I didn’t love Arthur’s conversation with Maddie.🩸

@landsendpod — Episode 2: this was an interesting episode! It reminds me a little of The Magnus Archives, but expanding on the monster-of-the-week content. Sheep as predators sounds funny, but anyone who’s had extended contact with farm animals can confirm how freaky it is when they start acting out of the ordinary. Plus, the imagery of the dead lambs, the red blood on the white wool, and the tension of the protestors, the police, the locals and even The Shepherd’s flock. He’s not having a good time of it. At least one of the locals has pointed him in a direction where he could get some advice... It makes me wish there was more folklore with disturbing prey animals. 🐑

Next week, I’m hoping to listen to a few episodes of the No Sleep podcast. Got any new shows you’re listening to?

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

The Next Ten Minutes Ago by Jordan Jeremy and Laura Osnes with Echo.

Hello Anon,

I'm sorry this took a little bit to post. Things got a little hectic.

Anyway, I hope you like how I interpreted this song, 'The Next Ten Minutes Ago.'

Thank you for the request.

Love oo.

The Next Ten Minutes Ago

Warnings: feelings, flirting, smitten, drunken trooper, unwanted advances, being rescued, kissing, asking out. I think that's all of it. Let me know if I miss any.

Main Master List   | Star Wars Jukebox Roulette |   AO3 Link

*Knock Knock*

You looked up to see a clone trooper standing there, blue accent decorating his white armour, along with a blue handprint on his right chest. 

When you looked into his eyes, those warm copper eyes that seemed to be filled with so much curiosity and kindness, the air in your lungs felt as though they were knocked out in that instant, You felt dizzy, as though the concrete floor below your feet were suddenly gone and you were falling into an abyss of emotions you didn’t know what to do with them. 

Echo felt as though his knees went weak, just from looking into your beautifully striking eyes, they held such determination, such fieriness, he felt as though he couldn’t move. He felt glued to the floor as he kept his eyes on you.

“Hi…”

You struggled to open your mouth, but when you finally did, your voice was barely above a squeak, “How…” you cleared your throat hoping the high pitched resonating voice that just escaped your lips had disappeared. “Ahem, how can I help you?”

He offered a soft smile as he walked in, “My name is Echo, CT-21-0408, I was asked to come speak to you about a training opportunity.”

A light shone in your eyes as recognition hit you, “Yes! Come in. Come in.” You motioned to the chair in front of you as you looked through your various datapads, finally finding the one you wanted. 

“Yes, here it is.” You brushed the imaginary hair off your face, as you focused on the report in front of you, “So, we heard you have a great knack for finding things no one else can, you’re thorough in reading your regulations and you’re not shy with technology. Not that most clones are … but you know what I mean.”

Echo shifted a little as he tilted his head, “I’m not sure that I do.”

“Well you don’t shy away from learning about technology, we have a report here from your Captain… a …” you lifted your glasses to read the name of Echo’s Captain, “a Captain Rex?”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“Well his report on you is glowing. One point in particular, which you may wish to know, ‘Echo is hardworking, dedicated, and always follows orders. He doesn’t do what is expected, he goes above and beyond his duties of service. Both he and his batchmate, Fives CT-27-5555, should be recommended for ARC Trooper training.’ He goes on to list your many missions and your valuable input, not tell me Clone Trooper Echo, do you believe you are ready for ARC Trooper training?”

You couldn’t help the smile that brushed against your lips, it was always enjoyable to give good news. 

“Sign me up, mesh’la.”

You simply rolled your eyes at the term of endearment, you’ve heard it from almost every trooper who ever came in here. They just did it to be polite or because they were excited, they would often tell you they’d come back to visit but none of them ever did; not that you could blame them. You sat at a desk all day, filing paperwork, what could you offer to someone who lived an adventure every day of their lives. 

“Alright, well there’s a few things you’ll need to review and be willing to accept. Now, I’ve your batchmate’s recommendation from Captain Rex as well, and both of you will be accepted into ARC Trooper training, my question is would you like to be sent separately or together?”

“You can do that?”

“I have my ways.” You smirked as your fingers pressed against one another, as your fingers formed a pyramid. Trying to look mysterious, but you simply looked like you were about to sneeze.

“Do you need a tissue?”

You brushed off the embarrassment, “Oh it’s just dust, you know.” You waved your hand in front of your face. The rest of the meeting went by fairly quickly, and before the end of the day you were able to submit both Echo and Fives’ name to Alpha -17 for his approval on the new cadets he would be training as ARC Troopers. 

“Hey love,” you looked up to see your friend Esmie, she was a nice girl. A bit abrasive at times, but her heart was usually in the right place. 

“Hey, Es, what’s up?”

“You done for the day?”

“Pretty much.”

“Wanna grab a drink?”

You looked at the pile of reports, you had planned to come in on the weekend to go through a few of them, but you’ve been doing that every weekend for the past four months and no one seemed to care. “Yeah, I’d love that. Where am I meeting you?”

“79’s. It’s a clone bar.” She wiggled her eyebrows and started to head off before she stopped herself, “8 p.m. and dressed to kill.”

Dress to kill?

You stood in front of your closet looking over your outfits, dress to kill, was not a category in your closet. The closest thing you had was a simple blue dress you had worn to your cousin’s wedding. It hugged you in all the right places, and showed just enough to make it somewhat ‘dress to kill’ category. 

As much as you wanted to debate with yourself longer, you were cutting it really close, you quickly arranged your hair and makeup, slipping on the nude colour shoes that would help to accentuate your legs. 

By the time you arrived in a taxi at 79s you were surprised by how busy it was, even for 8 p.m., it was beyond packed. You slowly made your way in, trying to push your way through, only to feel a hand grab you and pull you onto the dance floor. Before you could even protest this drunken trooper was dancing all up on you, you were getting to slap him, when someone pulled you away from him as he pushed the drunken trooper away. You watched as other troopers all wearing the blue accented armour moved in and guided the drunken trooper out of the bar. 

You turned to look into the eyes of your saviour, only to see Echo standing there, “Echo?”

“Hey mesh’la. Sorry about that,” he rubbed the back of his neck, guiding you off the dance floor to the bar, keeping you safe and away from the drunken rabbles, “he’s not usually that bad, he just received some bad news and chose to drink his pain away. What he did was unforgivable, so on his behalf, I’m sorry.”

The way Echo stepped in, the way he was apologizing, and even the way he looked at you, like you were the only one in the galaxy, you couldn’t help your heart lurching for him. 

“It’s not your fault Echo, but thank you for the apology.” 

“So… what brings you to 79’s doesn’t seem your … kind of place, not that I know what your thing is or isn’t … what I mean … what I’m trying to say is …”

You giggled, resting your hand on his bicep, “It’s okay, Echo. I know what you mean, and truthfully this isn’t my scene, but my friend was supposed to meet me here…” you glanced around the room, to find her on the lap of a trooper with the number five tattooed on his temple, while she kissed. “And it looks as though she’s busy with some trooper.”

“That’s Fives”

You turned your head to look at Echo, “The one I just recommended for ARC Trooper training?”

He nodded, “One and the same. He’s very diligent on and off the front lines.” He smirked.

You let out a giggle, covering your mouth as you laughed.  

As he watched your reaction, Echo felt that same fluttering in his heart, he had felt the first time he laid eyes on you. 

“Can…” you cleared your throat, “I know we’ve only known each other the past ten minutes…”

“And don’t forget the ten minutes before that,” Echo teased. 

“Can I buy you a drink, as a thank you?”

“No. But maybe I can buy you one? What do you say, mesh’la? Care to join me for the next ten minutes?”

A smile beamed on your face as you looked at him, “I’d love to.”

Main Master List   | Star Wars Jukebox Roulette |   AO3 Link

Tag list:

@liadamerondjarin @badbatch-simp24@spicymcnuggies@lady-ren @firstofficerwiggles @darkangel4121 @discofern @kavecika @monako-jinn-stories @ladykatakuri @avathebestx @theroguesully @furyhellfire66 @carodealmeida @ciramaris @sprout-fics @twinkofthedink @dindjarin-mandalorian @ulchabhangorm @littlemisspascal @tortor-mcgee @vodika-vibes @clonethirstingisreal @crosshair-is-the-superior-clone @totallyunidentified @griffedeloup @leotatombs @leotawrites

[theoriginaltortuga]

Questions and Not Yet Answers

Characters: Reina Del Bosque (NB!ILITW MC) and Jeremy Chu-Blanco (m!ILW MC)

Relationships: ILITW MC & ILW MC, offscreen Andy Kang/ILITW MC

Warning: misgendering of genderfluid character by said genderfluid character throughout the whole work (she's figuring it out), roundabout discussion of sex, nothing anywhere near explicit or even mature (but let me know if I need to tag and put the community label)

Tagging: @choicespride for the prompt: Community

Reina shook out her tangled, weighed down hair as she stood under the canopy of the restraunt. She could see the hostess giving her the evil eye from the counter. Did she dare risk another death by stepping inside? 

Her stomach growled. Loudly. 

She poked her head in and did her best to smile. "Sorry, have you seen–"

"Ray-Ray!" Jeremy stood from a table, waving wildly, before he seemed to notice Reina's state. Despite the weather, he wore denim cut off shorts and a deep cut, white tank top that showed off his bright blue binder when he bent down to scoop up his backpack. "Could we maybe move to the patio?"

"Please," the hostess deadpanned.

Jeremy pulled her in for a bear hug as they were quickly led to a covered, but outside table, thumping Reina on the back. "Jeez, did you take a shower in the rain?"

"It was a good…temperature." Just the right amount of cold to bring her back to earth after yet another waking nightmare. 

"Right, I'm sure God ordered this rain to be warm just for you." They sat across from each other as a waiter came up to them with mugs–Hot chocolate for her and coffee for Jeremy. 

She wrapped her hands around the burning cup and held it close as Jeremy ordered. The steam curled around her face pleasantly. 

"Alright, I call this meeting of the AroAce club to order!" Jeremy said, banging on the table for effect, limited by the roar of the water.

"Y'know, our first order of…business could be to con-consider a new name."

"It's perfect. I'm the Aro, you're the Ace. What more do we need?"

"Bi? You've been saying how you want Cor…Cor…Delia to join."

He waved her off. "She can be like an honorary member. A level above honorary. Speaking of our real first order of business…"

"She said she'd con–think about it in a few months."

"UGH!" Jeremey slid down in his seat, rummaging around his backpack. "Why so long?"

"She's trying to rush her classes to grad–graduate this winter and then she's moving back to Pine Springs." 

A notebook and pen were thrown onto the tabletop and Reina took the liberty of flipping it open to the newest page. Jeremy put a check next to the first item. “Huh. Well, fine, we can try to find a diner towards Pine Springs. For next spring." 

She laughed croakily at his pouting before she had to cough. It looked slightly odd with his new caterpillar lip, which he was wildly proud of learning to draw in. Jeremy had started dressing more masculinely three months ago, about the same time he started testosterone. It seemed like he was doing everything he could to make up for lost time. He had told her once, almost ashamed, about why he had waited so long to physically and visibly transition. That it had felt like he was taking a joy that wasn't meant for him. Obviously untrue, no matter how someone looked at it. Reina just wished—

“Second order of business! Ace, how much sex you having?”

Reina quirked her lips at the startled waiter and accepted her plate of chocolate chip pancakes. “About once a month for a definition of sex which involves keeping–ing–keeping my clothes on. I’ve gotten off a grand total of zero in the last eight months.”

“Works for you and Andy?” Jeremy asked around a mouthful of egg. 

“No complaints.”

Jeremy checked another item in his notebook. He looked at her expectantly and she sighed.

“Fine. Aro, how many dat…t-tes are you going on?”

“Fucking zero. And it’s great.”

Reina drew an air smile with a finger. “Happy for you. And how many hookups?”

He smiled wickedly. “Plenty, my dear.”

The waiter who had been eavesdropping on them scurried away as Jeremy turned to wink at him. 

“Okay, onto serious business…” Jeremy started as Reina stifled her raspy giggles. "How are the nightmares?"

Reina stopped laughing. Truth be told, they weren't awful. The Redfield nightmares only popped up three times a week. The waking nightmares where she lost control of her body and forgot where and when she was happened about five times a week. Still, he was only asking about her sleep. "Good. I mostly sleep. Nightmares are…terrifying, but I deal. You?"

He raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Mine are decent. I get a cool six hours most nights. Still fucking horrendous though."

"Yep…" They both ate their next few bites in silence. "We're both fucking liars, aren't we?”

“Oh yeah.” Jeremy crossed out the last bullet point and wrote something next to it. “So, now for the open session. What's going on?”

Reina frowned. "What do you mean?"

Jeremy did not look impressed. "Ace. Reina. Baby angelface. You've been off since our last meeting. Every time we talk, every time we text. Something's up. Just spill."

Reina shoved a bit of pancake in her mouth and chewed slowly. It wasn't real. That was the thing. Rather, she wasn't sure if it was real.

Reina's body was not her body. That was real. Her body had been turned to ashes that had been quietly stolen from the Westchester Police Department by Cordelia and Danni. 

Her bones ached. That was real. Every movement and every breath came with a twinge even eight months after her second first heartbeat. 

Her hair brushed her waist where before it just touched her shoulders. That was real. Heavy, thick, and beautiful and not painstakingly grown out by her. 

Her voice…

The thing. The not real thing had been easier to ignore when she was a teenager. The way she'd sometimes feel sick when her clothes clung to her. The way it hurt when her mom called her hermosa, or pretty, or a lovely young woman. The way she would look at Andy and feel envy and attraction mix in her chest. Reina had felt awful about it, about herself, about everything, except–

Except when she didn't. Except the days she loved her curves and long curls and being called pretty. When tight shirts, flowy skirts, and just a hint of makeup felt good those other thoughts faded into the background. Until they came back.

Her voice had always been the one constant. Deep and warm, not in a masculine way unless she pushed it, but not always in a plainly feminine way unless she tried, and now it was crackly and rough, words would fail her and it hurt. That was real. The one thing she'd loved about her body no matter what and even that–

Somedays she wondered if it wouldn't be better to still be dead. To be formless with a thousand voices, to be able to move in a blink and be stronger than Superman, instead of stuck in the small, weak, sometimes wrong body she had. 

She had stayed quiet since she was a kid about the strangeness she felt. And now she had a second chance. But what if it wasn't real?

"I've got a que…ques…query."

Jeremy took a sip of his coffee. "Shoot."

"How did you know you were trans?"

He leaned back in his creaky metal chair and blew out a breath. "Huh. Well…you've got to understand. I technically didn't know. Me, myself, and the Power I shared brainspace with. I just showed up this way. Jeremy, Jeremiah, the real one, he realized when he was…fifteen? The memories are fuzzy, but for the most part it kind of came with realizing he was aro."

"Wait, what?" How the hell…

Jeremy shrugged. "He was dating this guy, Alan, Alex something, anyway, that guy, he'd always be like 'my girl, my girlfriend, my princess, my lady.'" They both shuddered. "Yeah, ol' Miah figured out pretty quick that he'd rather be stabbed in the face than be anyone's lady, quickly followed by realizing he didn't want to be anyone's boyfriend either. I don't know the specifics anymore. Like I said, fuzzy."

Reina had never thought about it like that. She'd always put sexuality and gender as pretty different things in her mind, only connected by virtue of being queer. Her aceness had never had anything to do with her gender fucky thoughts, except…

Well, she leaned on the side of sex-repulsed with one foot over in sex-indifferent. The thought of anyone touching her with intent gave her the heebie-jeebies. The thought of touching other people wasn't something she loved, but the first one was infinitely more nerve wracking. She and Andy had worked out a system of talking and cuddling with intent and a firm agreement that her hands did nothing and her chest and crotch were left alone. 

Only those areas. Her hips, back, thighs, and elsewhere were fair game, within reason. The thought of Andy touching those areas left her with…disgust. Which could be explained by the repulsion, except the thought only filled her with absolute disgust some days. Most days, it was just an intense dislike. Except, except…

"So, th-that was it for you?"

Jeremy scratched the back of his neck. "Well, not exactly. Me, Jeremy, I…questioned after I realized I wasn't really Jeremiah. Especially after Amalia told me I changed and I looked my maker and my ghost in the face all in the same day, I needed to. I needed to know, for sure, that the parts of me I kept were…" He shrugged.

"Real?" Reina suggested.

"Yeah. If I was real. When I took off those first two months, well…when I hit Missoula I pretended I was a girl. Never say I do things the easy way." He took a deep breath. "Got myself a nice blouse, some tight jeans, and heels and called myself Jessica. Then Elizabeth, because Jessica was a bit too morbid."

"And?"

"And I fucking hated it," He said, laughing. "It was awful. I felt miserable. I mean, even when I pretended to be a girl for safety I didn't feel nearly as bad. It hit me that if I was going to realize I wasn't a guy or I wasn't aromantic that it would've happened when I still thought I was the real Jeremiah. I don't exactly regret it though."

Reina felt some regret for asking. What was she thinking? That permanent bone deep kind of feeling, that was real. What she was feeling…It was just in her head. It had to be. When she felt like Jeremy, it was just for a few days, a month max, not all the time. "Why n–n-n–" She sighed and waved her hand.

"Because I got to be sure. If I'd just thought about it and taken the 'no bad' feelings from there, I would've driven myself nuts for the rest of my life. Some people don't need to but I did." He caught her eyes and Reina fought the urge to look away. "Experimenting and questioning, they're not bad things. I know parents or friends or…boyfriends might feel like you need to know. Or that you need to have known since you were a kid, but it just doesn't always work that way."

"But what if they're wr…wrong? What if a girl is ju-ust a girl with…issues?" Like so many issues.

Jeremy smiled. "Even if someone ends up being cis, at least they know for sure. Then they could start working on those other issues. And if they're not, then it's an even bigger win. Don't you think?"

Reina stayed quiet. They both finished their meal and fought over the check, Jeremy almost body checking her out of the way to the counter. 

The grey May skies still wept over all of Westchester and they stood under the canopy for a moment. When she was a kid, rain had been comforting and cleansing and perfect for making mud balls to fling at her friends. As a teenager, it had been a perfect backdrop to sleep to and orient herself with. It hadn't rained when Jane died. As an…adult, it reminded her that she was alive. The rain didn't pass through her, it clung to her skin like a blanket while she moved her aching bones and flung around her waist length hair. The person she was then and the person she was now loved the rain. Whoever that person was.

Jeremey looked at her and smiled. "Hey, Reina. You got anything you want to tell me?"

She took a deep breath. "Not yet."

[gravitytrips]

Alone in the World

Scout leaned against the wall as he watched his blood soak into the dirt. He sighed. This wasn’t how he expected the match to go.

Respawn it was.

Just as he was about to close his eyes and let himself peacefully pass away, the speakers crackled to life.

ATTENTION. THE RESPAWN SYSTEMS ARE DOWN. ALL MERCENARIES RETURN TO YOUR BASES.

The Administrator’s scratchy voice rang out across the field, her words taking a few moments to sink into Scout’s sluggish brain. When he finally realized what he had heard, his eyes blew wide open.

“Shit!” Scout cried, immediately regretting it when the bullets in his stomach shifted from the movement.

How was he going to get out of this? How would he survive? He was on the corner of the map!

Scout huffed a few times, gathering the courage for what he was about to do, then pulled himself to his feet.

He nearly threw up from the pain.

“Just keep goin’. You’ll make it back and doc’ll heal ya and you’ll feel all better.” Scout assured himself. Yet, a small part of his mind whispered that his team had already gone back to base. That nobody cared. That he would die out here alone.

Scout shook his head to clear the thought, then immediately regretted it as a wave of nausea washed over him.

So, Scout trudged forward, trying desperately to ignore the pain.

Scout had gotten to control point C when he finally could go on no longer. The boy simply collapsed onto the metal point, exhausted. Why was it so cold? Wasn’t it the middle of the day? Why couldn’t he feel his fingers?

Hot red liquid pooled around Scout, bringing him some warmth.

So this was it then? The great Jeremy Fulfer-Anderson would meet his end all alone on control point C. Wonderful.

No matter how hard he tried to keep them in, thoughts started slip out of Jeremy’s mind like sand through fingers.

Breath in.

Breath out.

Breath in.

Breath out.

A tear dropped into the dust, making a tiny puddle of mud.

He really was all alone.

————————————————————————

The cold was gone. Instead, a soft, fuzzy warmth surrounded Scout, wrapping him up like a quilt on a cold night. He was tempted to just close his eyes and sleep amongst the comfort, when the darkness began to take over his vision, something happened. The warmth shifted and changed around him, soft colors entertaining his eyes and soothing his brain. Scout could’ve cried from the pure beauty and comfort of the show. Could’ve just let it go and slipped away. Oh God, how he wanted to.

But something stopped him.

An itching at the back of his mind.

A prickling cold on his back.

An itching pain on his front.

The colors shifted once more, to red. This red became deeper and deeper until it was black, and a cold white light bore down on him from above.

The warmth was gone, and Scout was so, so cold.

Sounds started to filter in, at first sounding like far away whispers, then getting louder and louder until the boy could determine the different voices of his teammates.

WHOOSH!

It was like bursting through the surface of a placid lake. The voices were so clear, the pain in his front and the cold on his back were searing, and the blurred colors and bright lights that rushed by him like a raging river all caused confusion and terror. Scout screamed, but the all-encompassing pain rushed into his throat like river water, leaving him to uselessly gurgle for help!

Then, there was a small, cold prick in the side of his neck.

All was dark.

Scout’s eyes drifted open, the soft glow of a late-day sun drifting through the high, small windows and washing over his body. Jeremy let his eyes fall back shut, enjoying the warmth of the sun. That beautiful warmth….like the warmth he had experienced….when was it….? Where had he been….?

The darkness pulled Jeremy back under.

The next time he awoke, it was to voices.

“He should have been avake hours ago. If he doesn’t shown signs of coherence soon-“ 

A voice Jeremy recognized. One that he knew meant help and health and healing. The boy focused on the voice, trying desperately to call out to it. To ask the man speaking to help him. Another voice cut in.

“Doc, hold on. The lad’s wakin’ up.”

Jeremy knew that voice too. Fun. Parties. Advice. Why wasn’t it slurred? That was very odd. And why couldn’t he see? Had he lost his eye like Demo? Yes….Demo. That was his name. And Medic! His doctor and his friend were right there and he couldn’t even open his eyes to greet them.

Oh yes. His eyes were closed.

Jeremy forced his eyes open a crack, immediately shutting them again when the bright infirmary lights invaded his mind and wiped out all thought. The sudden overbearing light send wave after wave of pain through Scout’s skull before….

click

Scout heard the sound of a light switch clicking off. Whoever had shut the lights off then quickly returned to his side.

“C’mon lad. Try again. You can do it.”

Demo’s voice was serious. Too serious and sober.

That fact scared Scout just a little, so with all his might, the boy tried his sight again.

This time, the lights didn’t blind him. He sat in a comfortable half darkness, with the worried face of Demoman looking down at him, and the rather disheveled form of Medic a few feet away.

“There y’are lad. You can do it. Just keep them eyes open.”

Jeremy opened his mouth to tell Demo that he was ok, that he didn’t need to be babied, that he could take care of himself, but a horrible dryness swept down his throat at his first breath. That dryness caused Scout’s throat to seize up, his esophagus searching and begging for water.

Just as panic was about to set in, a cool glass touched his lips, and a slow stream of water was poured down his dry throat. The boy drank greedily, desperately, and when he nearly choked, he was leaned over with a strong hand patting his back.

Scout looked up at Medic. God, how pathetic he must look to that man. But Medic’s face wasn’t one of disgust. It was of absolute exhausted relief.

“Can you hear me, junge? Are you really vizh us zhis time?”

The doctor asked carefully.

Scout finally opened his eyes fully. He was awake. He was awake and alive and ok. Well, maybe not completely ok. A deep throbbing was set into his stomach, but he was sure that that was fine.

“Doc…” Scout whispered, his throat not yet prepared for full speech.

Sighs of relief filled his ears from both sides, and Scout started in on another glass of water as Medic spoke again.

“Junge, you have given us quite the scare.” Medic’s voice held a hint of exasperation.

“What happened? Respawn got shut down after I got shot and….”

And what? Jeremy had become so sure that he was utterly alone that he just… let go? He could not say that to Medic. He’d never hear the end of it. Fortunately, he didn’t have to respond.

“Ya’ve been out of it for a few days, lad. There was a point where doc didn’t think you’d wake up.” Demo whispered, seemingly trying not to upset Medic, who was moving his desk away from the door.

Huh?

“Did I sleep through the apocalypse or somethin’?” Scout asked quizzically.

“Nah, lad! It’s rough tryin’ ta keep five grown  men from seein’ their sick friend. At one point, Sniper came through the vents! Doc tossed him in th’ ol’ industrial bath tub an’ he ran off.” 

While Demo talked, Scout saw Medic poke his head out of the door and say something. Medic was immediately back inside, leaning against the door and shouting “ONE AT A TIME! I SAID ONE AT A TIME!!”.

Unfortunately, not even the doctor’s orders could hold back the likes of Heavy, who nearly broke the door off its hinges and laid the doctor out in the process.

Scout blinked, and the rest of his teammates were at his side.

Their jumbled words wove together to create a melody that brought a soft smile to Jeremy’s face.

He was wrong. He was wrong, and for once, he was glad of the fact.

Jeremy was happy. Because he wasn’t alone.

[fluffernutt69r]

A Whiff Of His Scent

You and Jeremy Fragrance meet for the first time and the unexpected happens…

Warnings:

sexual content and discussion, kinda weird

During your sleepover at your friend’s house, the two of you were scrolling through TikTok as the night was winding down before bed.

“Y/n how are you still scrolling? You’ve been on TikTok for 3 hours while I’ve been looks maxing in the kitchen” Your friend said, looking at you in disbelief.

“Well Gertrude,” you said playfully with attitude, “I have a date tomorrow with a man I saw on my fyp and I’ve been looking through his page”

Gertrude looks at your screen, “Is that THE Jeremy Fragrance? The number one fragrance icon that follows the teachings of Jesus Christ?”

“Yeah I emailed him and we emailed back and forth a bit, I got his Snapchat but haven’t checked to see if I got any messages from him”

You check your snapchat and notice he sent you a video snap.

“Well are you gonna open it y/n?” You look at Gertrude and proceed to press on the snap.

In the video, he appeared to be shirtless as he proceeds to say, “Hello y/n! looking at your picture i got a huge boner right now and i wanted to know if you are a virgin if not that is okay but yeah if you could send another video that would be great” You and Gertrude looked at each other in shock but yet, you sent him a video telling him goodnight and that you couldn’t wait for the date the next day and that you are indeed a virgin.

The following morning, you woke up to a good morning from Jeremy.

“Hello I am very excited for our date tonight, I am still erect and can’t wait to see you” he texted, and you replied with “Me too Jer Bear!”

Finally at 6 p.m. you arrive at his house, the two of you decided to have a movie night at his house. You knock on the door and are greeted with a strapping and dashing german man in a white suit with the dress shirt slightly unbuttoned. “Hello y/n” he said as you noticed he was erect, but you couldn’t help but ignore it, his scent was so beautiful you couldn’t get enough.

You walked in and noticed a trail of rose pedal leading to a lavish collection of fragrances. You had come over to

enjoy a movie together, but he clearly had other plans.

“Jer Bear, what is all this” you say contused,

“I thought instead of wasting our time on a movie, you could help me make videos showing off my fragrances, is this okay for you y/n?”

Your smile grew as you had always dreamed of helping Jeremy Fragrance with his fragrances and to be romantically involved. You grabbed your phone and your favorite scent, chose despacito as your tiktok audio and boom you were filming. Cologne everywhere, Jeremy dancing, it was a dream. Your fantasy came true. You knew he was the one for you.

“Y/n, you are under 32, a virgin, Christian, and you appreciate my fragrances,” Jeremy said while holding your hands, soaked in fragrances, and looking you deep in your eyes, “I want you to be mine forever” Jeremy then gets down on one knee and pulls out the most beautiful ring you have ever seen.

“Yes my Jer Bear, anything for you” you said jumping exciting and frantically putting on the ring.

You two romantically kissed, despacito playing, and the scents you used earlier prominent in the air. It was love at first sight all that was needed is a single date to ignite the spark.

Wedding part 2?