#until i actually write more about it --
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AURGH auwarghh the autistic parental trauma... the epi was wacky hijinks then dropped this on us out of nowhere... (sobs) laios... laiiiiooooos
#he just like me fr#dungeon meshi#laios touden#actuallyautistic#aphelion.txt#dunmeshi#laios#autism things#im definitely chewing on that marcille lore/angst too but the laios nightmare sequence hit close to home!!#dont think falin had a great relationship with their parents either#i mean aside from being willing to abandon her in the dream. idk if that's 100% accurate to how they acted.#it didnt seem like her affinity for ghosts was gonna go down real good in that flashback#also i need to write that post abt how falin has girl autism (dont ask me what that means unless you want to enter an unskippable cutscene)#actually its pretty easy to hit most dunmeshi chars w the hammer of autism laios is just the most obvious#senshi hyperfixating and having meltdowns (Waterwalk Incident.) and low empathy for people until he's gotten Attached#i need to go find that post someone made about chilchuck being the token allistic it was so fucking funny#i have like 3 more dunmeshi autism metas in my mental queue apparently. please make me shut up
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Pt2 to this post
'Is something wrong?' Nancy asks, not long after the two of them have taken their familiar spots on the hood of Steve's car. They're basking in what might be the last warm sunlight of the year, looking out over the quarry, at a safe distance from the edge.
It's become a tradition the two of them share, ever since they reconnected back in March. It calms them both, to just sit here and take in the view, no one around but each other. Nancy is one of the few people Steve can share a comfortable silence with: sometimes they sit here quietly for what feels like hours, side by side, listening to music or to nothing but the birds singing around them. But they also have their best conversations here: it's the place where Nancy entrusted him she wanted to break up with Jonathan; it's the place where they talked about their shared past and decided they would always love each other as friends; it's the place where they finally talked about Barbara in a way they couldn't when they were younger. It's where Nancy talked about the ghosts still haunting her and Steve talked about how lonely he sometimes felt.
Steve huffs. 'How did you guess?'
'When you frown, you always do it with your whole face,' Nancy notes. 'So it's hard to miss, really.'
Steve glances at her side profile. There's a serenity to her features that's still relatively new. It means she's healing, slowly learning how to be happy again. It means she stopped waiting for the end of the world and started believing in a real future again. It makes Steve proud of how far they both have come.
'I had a fight with Eddie,' he confesses. 'And with Dustin, I guess.'
'What happened?'
He sighs. 'It's complicated.'
'Wanna tell me about it?'
The look in her eyes is kind and inviting. Steve hesitates. He wants to, but he doesn't know if he can. It's a risk. It's scary.
But he can't imagine Nancy Wheeler ever being careless with his secrets. He can't imagine her judging him, can't imagine her being as small-minded as most people in this town.
He was planning on telling her anyway, because things had been going so well with Eddie lately and – no, he shouldn't think about that right now. But maybe it would actually be nice to talk about it with Nancy.
'So, um...' His throat feels tight and his hands are sweaty. 'I recently discovered some things about myself. I-' The words get stuck somewhere on the way to his mouth, and he clears his throat.
Nancy doesn't push, but only gives him an encouraging nod, waiting for him to find his voice again.
'I found out I like boys,' he finally manages to confess. 'And I need you to know that – that that doesn't mean that what I felt for you wasn't real. It was. I loved you, and now I fell in love with a boy. And-'
'Steve.' Nancy's hand suddenly covers his, causing him to finally jerk his head away from the view over the quarry, to focus on her face again instead.
Her eyes are wide, and she squeezes his hand.
'You don't have to explain yourself to me,' she tells him. 'We're good. But thank you for telling me. For trusting me with this.'
Steve heaves out a relieved sigh, and Nancy smiles; it's that genuine kind of smile which reveals all kinds of dimples and soft lines across her face.
'We might be more similar than you thought,' she tells him, a faint blush spreading over her cheeks.
'Really?' Her words make his breath catch in his throat. He squints at her, trying to see her in this new light. 'Are you saying what I think you're saying?'
She shrugs. 'I don't know. I'm not sure yet,' she admits. 'Still figuring things out.'
'Take your time, there's no rush,' he tells her. 'But...' He bumps his shoulder against hers. 'When you're done figuring it out, talk to me, okay?'
She nods. 'Okay.'
For a while, it's quiet between the two of them. Some kind of raptor circles high above them in the sky. They both follow it with their eyes until it disappears among the tree tops west of the quarry.
'Is it Eddie?'
Steve blinks dumbly a couple of times.
'Wha- what?'
'The guy you were talking about. The one you fell in love with. It's Eddie, isn't it?'
'Jesus, Wheeler, what kind of sorceress are you?' Steve exclaims.
Nancy laughs again. 'You're not being as subtle as you think,' she tells him. 'The two of you have been hooking up for a while now, haven't you?'
Steve huffs dramatically. 'This is unfair. You know everything; I can't even tell you my own secrets anymore!'
'So what happened?' Nancy asks. 'You said you had a fight with him?'
'It's fucking stupid,' he sighs. 'Dustin was getting way too excited about the fact that I was gonna be hanging out with you, so I told him I was seeing someone. Next thing I knew, he was telling Eddie all about how I was seeing a girl.' He waves his hands around to make annoyed air quotations. 'I wanted to tell Eddie it was a misunderstanding, but Dustin was there, so I couldn't out us just like that, and he looked so betrayed and heartbroken... He didn't wanna listen to me.'
Steve sighs; he still can't manage to forget that look in Eddie's eyes when Dustin delivered the big news. 'I wish I would've talked about what I felt for him earlier. I should've been honest when I had the chance, y'know. But I was afraid he wouldn't wanna label what we had, that he wouldn't feel the same way – and now we're in this whole mess. God, he must hate me right now, Nance.'
To his surprise, Nancy gives him an unexpected slap against his arm.
'Ouch, what the hell was that for?!'
'What are you even doing here with me, Steve? You should've gone after him, tell him how you feel!'
'I tried, obviously, but he didn't wanna listen to me!'
'So make him listen! You're in love with him, he obviously feels the same way about you, and you let him leave to wallow in a broken heart he doesn't even need to have!' She rolls her eyes and slides off the car, adding something under her breath that sounds suspiciously like an exasperated 'Boys!' before she pulls Steve off the car as well. 'C'mon, time to get your ass over to the trailer park. Right. Now,' she says through gritted teeth. And, well, Steve knows better than to argue with a determined - and truthfully quite terrifying - Nancy Wheeler.
Read the last part here Taglist: @withacapitalp @ultimatedreamer104 @irregular-child @jcmadgirl @estrellami-1 @myguiltyartpleasure @hallucinatedjosten @jaybren @thew1ldblueyonder @melodymeddler @alycatavatar @zoeweee @lolawonsstuff @fairy-princette @saramelaniemoon @phirex22 @krazyperson @xxsky-shockxx (I only put people on this list who explicitly asked to be tagged. That's really no problem, I love to do that so dw about asking, but I got a lot of relatively vague reactions to the previous post that i'm not gonna dissect and interpret, bc I don't wanna clog anyone's notes unwanted. So just to be clear: i consider it a huge compliment if anyone asks for a tag but please do it clearly if you do!)
#look i can and i will exploit the miscommunication trope until yall are sick and tired of it#bc steddie is actually the perfect couple for keeping that trope believable#they're idiots with terrible communication skills it's canon#they WOULD#“can't you just talk to him?” “wait what i can????” IT'S SO THEM OKAY#nancy is the only sane person here i don't make the rules#don't mind me rambling about stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#nancy wheeler#platonic stancy#(i love platonic stancy they mean the world to me)#(i truly didn't mean to trick anyone into reading about them this just kinda. happened. idk)#this is making me wanna write more about their friendship actually they deserve their own fic#stranger things#fruity ficlet
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Cadets
(aka trash children, chaos children, and children who understand 98 is getting graded on this)
Inspired by @thefoundationproject! Closeups under the cut:
jesse got this pic from jangotat:
#star wars#tcw#soft wars#doodling in the soft wars sandbox#i think that'll be my tag for these things#alpha 6#commander fox#commander neyo#alpha 17#captain rex#commander wolffe#jangotat#commander doom#commander davijaan#(probably?)#shebse#edee#chekar#i may have messed up the ages oops#but hey we can pretend that the shebse found rex when he was a baby/toddler but he didn't officially join the squad until he was older!#hopefully i did 6's expression justice#against his better instincts he loves his trash children but he is also so so tired of fishing them out of the garbage#6 is grumpy as always; 98 is smug as always; and 17 is too busy getting bitten by a baby to have any other concerns at the moment#(he is about to have many more concerns)#wolffe climbed up 17s back to bite him while he was distracted with the tubie gnawing on his arm#specifically to bite 17s neck because he saw a video of an actual wolf taking down a space-deer and wanted to try it out#i just realized the alphas were still in training for most of the cadet-raising#poor 17 had to write strategy essays or whatever with four 10 yr olds competing to see who can provoke him the most#and a 6 yr old chomping on his ankles#not to mention 16 in the soft wars eu dealing with half of 44's squad on top of his own cadets and probably assorted shebse too
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i think im not a fan of what dc keeps doing with jason because they keep having him, the abused, become an abuser in some way shape or form. and the classism they don't want to talk about (i am being so for real there is a genuine problem of both writers and readers who do not understand jason's background and it pissed me off so bad because it always shapes their opinion of him in the wrong way and they don't care to even try to listen). and how if they were going to have him come back they should have had delved into his identity crisis and the inherent horror of coming back but not knowing how or why or what to do about it and not knowing what you were doing while dead and having to deal with time jumping forward on you and the fact that you will never get the time back and no one will he the same as they were before you died and how isolating and lonely that would be. and they also definitely weren't prepared for the fact that jason was grieving his life and his death and his hopes for his mother and his dad who didn't get there in time and the dc writers are fucking cowards. which brings me to my next point: why do we keep listening to them about shit because they are quite literally always fighting with each other and projecting their own personal biases into characters (i.e. making them worse than they are/2 dimensional/trying to make them iredeemable so their favorite character gets to shine) and also they are all freaks of nature with a consistent problem of being God Awful People who why would we trust them with these characters. jason todd they don't get you like i do
#it's 3AM and i woke up out of a fitful sleep to write this post#i hallucinated jason todd while trying to sleep#(just like them bitches in the comics always fucking do can we point that out. actually. they always fucking hallucinate someone in their#family but mostly jason. when he was dead and stuff#more hallucinations or give me death#i meant that figuratively#the second part#i want more hallucinations or give me someone talking about how that used to happen to them and jason going “wtf r u good ?” or#“ew keep me out of your brain freak”#(second one directed at tim)#what was i saying#ummmm#jason todd#he deserves better#coming from a similar background means i am his number one defender#i have mommy issues too so tack that on there#the way people look at and treat the homeless makes me infuriated because you dont get it#you dont GET IT#until it's YOU mother fucker
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She is offering water to any lost travelers! However, it's so hot that the water has become tea, so she's adjusted accordingly!
#neopets#neotag#neoart#kiko#slorg#aquanutart#this was for a western themed beauty contest last year! it was very fun! :D i'm so happy we were able to be part of it!#and by 'very fun' i mean it's completely exhausting and i can only handle participating once or twice a year#but it is very exciting too! she gave tea to everyone who stopped by. she was very happy to be able to help so many visitors!#i actually forgot until i checked whether this was from one or two years ago... my sense of time as an adult is --- *waves hand vaguely*#i'm so sorry for all the messages i didn't answer. specifically to the user who sent me a really kind message out of the blue#about how they got the slugawoo avvie from my quiggle's lookup. i didn't even know you could get the avvie from his lookup#so i was very happy to find out!! and i was happy there might be more people getting the avvie from his lookup i didn't know about#and i wanted to tell them how absolutely happy it made me and my brain said ' you should respond to this right away or you won't do it'#and i thought you fool. of course i'll make sure to do something this important#and i kept thinking about it for the past year and thinking i will do it. i will do it#but when i thought about writing the words that were floating in my mind the whole time i would feel blocked#this happens all the time and i'm sorry. it really does make me so happy#and then they deleted all the neomails but thankfully i had it saved so i still was able to find their username and send a message thankyou#i'm very glad
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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so it’s. it’s like. man this is so hard without my laptop.
alright so Crassus is a weird guy, existentially. There’s a tendency to speculate, assign, and insert him into whatever places are conspiratorial and shadowy because he fits into those narrative places with ease. My personal favorite (aside from all of it) is the idea that he may have pulled strings wrt to Sulla and Caesar’s conflict to help get Caesar out of it.
The Defeat of Rome: Crassus, Carrhae and the Invasion of the East, Gareth C. Sampson
In the universe that exists in my head, he definitely had a hand in it, but he didn’t really intend for Caesar to figure out he played a part in it, but Caesar’s good at puzzles, and noticing someone goes both ways. Binding someone to yourself goes both ways.
Crassus: The First Tycoon, Peter Stothard
This scene takes place sometime relatively soon after Sulla’s death. Crassus has complicated feelings about it, Caesar less so. Veni, vidi, vici, baby!
Here’s a bonus thing that I keep thinking about with them.
The Roman Revolution, Ronald Syme
like, utang na loob. and it is DEEP between them.
#this is actually an old first draft script from a much longer Caesar/Crassus arc I’ve been writing#To go along with the Pompey/Crassus one#Accidentally it’s turned into a whole arc bc why not do the Caesar/Pompey civil war break up while I’m at it#anyway formatting all of this on my iPad was a nightmare no more comics that I have to split up for posting until I get a laptop#tris homines#roman republic tag#komiks tag#drawing tag#there’s a modern gangster AU version of this scene where Crassus and Caesar fuck on the floor in front of Sulla’s funeral portrait#Pompey is there too bc I finally remembered how I was tagging my tris homines live blog and found#The quote comparing the three to some kind of transgressive incestuous relationship. Thank u at my past self for live-blogging that#anyway this was relegated to first draft pits bc Crassus needs to have more bite about it but I wanted to draw them kissing. So.#(Waving a flag) get it caesar#(Bite as in sharp teeth and edges you could cut yourself on if you aren’t careful. Which is why Caesar is Always Very Careful#Pompey’s the opposite about it but I’ll get to those comics. Soon…….hopefully……………..)#gaius julius caesar#marcus licinius crassus
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I wouldn't really agree that boys are just arm candy in magical girl shows and only there to look cute. Yeah, sure the girls' friendships are the focus, but the boys are usually very much involved in the plot and most shows do explore their feelings about the odd things that happen due to magical shenanigans even if they aren't in the know (It's why ML baffles me even more with how they screwed up Adren's arc when he's the deuteragonist, when all these boys are supporting cast and get well rounded arcs)
I'm not much of a winx fan, but the specialists were very much not arm candy. Did the girls talk about them being cute? Yes, it's what teenage girls do. Did the narrative suggest they were good looking? Yes, but that's standard for most love interests in any genre. But we still got scenes with them talking amongst themselves about how they themselves feel and they got a fair share of badass fight scenes even if they wield no magic. A large amount of episodes actually included the boys and girls working as a team solving a mystery or fighting a villain. The girls might deal the finishing blow but the boys were still integral to the plot.
I hope this doesn't come across as hate, it definitely wasn't my intention. I'm just a bit too passionate about the magical girl genre.
I do think you have a good point with ML having a problem choosing a genre or blending two genres successfully.
For the CCS fans, I will add though that Cardcaptor Sakura had both Tomoyo and Syaoran serve as sources of motivation for Sakura. And both Sakura and Syaoran collecting cards even if Sakura is the only one who could seal them and yet never made you question whether Syaoran was even necessary for the job the way ml does with Chat.
I wasn't trying to say that boys have no part to play in magical girl team shows or that they're always treated as having no lives beyond the girls, that's why I mentioned that the Winx Club boys - aka, the Specialists - have their own (mostly off screen) lives and occasionally show up help the girls:
the boys are usually off doing their own thing and only occasionally show up for a date or to give the girls a ride on their cool bikes or magical spaceship
Even then, this is certainly a simplification of the roles that they play in the story, but I kind of had to simplify their roles down to their base components for the original post's discussion as I was talking in broad strokes of how these stories are written.
In terms of those broad strokes, the Specialists are absolutely only there for shipping fodder. That's why each one is assigned to a girl from the start and why their main role in the narrative is supporting their assigned love interest or causing relationship-based drama for their assigned love interest. If it weren't for shipping, then the Specialists would not exist.
While the Specialists do have fleshed out characters and may even effect the plot, the execution of those elements is designed around the girls. A really obvious example of this is the character Timmy, who has character development as the boy's tech guy. Why is he into technology? Because he's the designated love interest for the fairy of Technology and we have to show why they're a good match. Along similar lines, the boys don't really get plots that are removed from the girls because this is the girl's show. Every episode features one or more of the Winx, but the boys are optional and often don't appear.
This is because, narratively speaking, the boys are just love interests and that brings us back to Miraculous' big problem. You can't have a show where Adrien is written like a Specialist while also being part of the Winx Club and where Alya is written like she's part of the Winx Club while technically being more of a Specialist in terms of power set and actual narrative role.
I'm was thinking back to my memories of various Winx Club plots to find one that really highlighted what I mean here and I remembered that one of the big dramas in season one was the reveal that Bloom's love interest - Sky - was in an arranged marriage and had just never told her. As it turns out, that's a great example of what I'm talking about re Adrien!
Is that plot line technically based around Sky and letting his life effect the plot? Sure, but the fallout of that reveal revolves around Bloom, not Sky. The story doesn't really care how Sky's feeling as the conflict progresses. Instead, it focuses on how it affects Bloom and her friends because of course it does! She's the main character. It would be really weird if that plot suddenly focused on her side character love interest and his friends during one of her darkest hours/biggest moments.
Think of that and then consider how the ending of season five is written. Notice any similarities? Sure, this is Adrien's family drama, but because he's just a Specialist, the focus isn't on him. It's on Winx Club member Marinette and Adrien only shows up at the end for a kiss. That is the problem. That is what I'm talking about when I say that Miraculous will randomly write him as if we're watching a magical girl team show where Adrien is just the love interest.
In fact, let's really dig into this example because it's a good one.
You can have a look at the transcript for the finale episode of Miraculous season five here and see for yourself that Adrien doesn't even show up on screen until the final scenes when the big drama is over. The Winx Club wiki also has episode transcripts, so I took a look to see what happened in Winx land during the arranged marriage reveal plot (I love that this is a thing. It's so useful for fact checking myself!) This is the script for the episode after Bloom learns the truth. Sky does not appear even though his lies and family drama are the fuel for this episode's events, which are a major part of the season's arc. Note how perfectly that matches Adrien's writing?
Similarly, Sky's dialogue in the reveal episode is all about Bloom. He's worried about her learning the truth and thinking less of him. To match that, here's Adrien's only real dialogue in the penultimate episode of season five (full transcript):
Adrien:(Covers his ears.) I cannot transform... (Looks at his ring and tries taking it off.) Plagg: What are you doing?! Adrien: I'm not in my right mind. I'm too angry — at myself for falling short of Marinette's love, at my father for sending me here in London, at this stupid app and these rings that use my image... it makes me sick! This nightmare is giving me the horrible feeling that, if I transform, I'll get akumatized and destroy everything with my Cataclysm — Marinette, Ladybug... (Takes off the ring and hands it to Plagg.)
Switching back to Winx. After Bloom learns the truth about Sky, bad things happen because she's depressed. This results in her and the Winx going off on a journey to learn the truth of who Bloom is. After the girls share this big plot moment and Bloom gets her mojo back, the boys show up to be their ride home and to give Bloom her romance moment where Sky wins her back by declaring that he broke off the arranged married because he loves her.
Sky notably doesn't get an arc about choosing between his arranged marriage and his true love. We don't even know that the marriage is broken off until he tells Bloom because that was never really a conflict as far as the narrative was concerned. Of course he's going to pick Bloom! He's her designated side character love interest! He only exists to be with her. We don't need to treat this as a serious thing for him. The arranged marriage plot was never about him anyway. It was about giving Bloom a reason to have a darkest hour moment that moves the plot forward. Similarly, Sky calling off the marriage is nowhere near as important as him telling Bloom that he's called off the marriage to be with her in a grand romantic gesture.
This perfectly mirrors Miraculous' season five ending where Adrien doesn't appear until after Marinette is done fighting her big girl power fight against his father. As far as the writing is concerned, that fight isn't about him. His connection to the villain only really matters in terms of how it affects Marinette's actions during the final battle. Then, when the battle is over, Adrien shows up to give Marinette her big romance moment because, while the plot may be driven by Adrien's family, he is not a Winx club member. He's just a Specialist. Or, in the words of the head writer:
[image text: She's Barbie, he's Ken. You don't like it. I get it. It won't change. Anything else?] (The full, even more damning context of this tweet can be found here.)
What else can I say other than, "I rest my case."
Oh, and also that I didn't take this as an attack. I just thought it was a good opportunity to really dig into the nuances of this and what I was talking about in that original post as I never know how obvious this stuff is if you don't closely study story telling. As this case study hopefully shows, if a show is about a group of girl friends using the power of friendship, then their love interests may have important roles, but the boys are never going to be more important than the girls and most of the boy's screen time will be focused on romance and how their existence effects the girls because it's ultimately the girls' world. Without them, the show wouldn't exist. Without the boys? Well, then we just wouldn't have a romance plot.
#ml writing critical#ml writing salt#adrien deserves better#ml season 5 salt#btw I had no idea how well this example would work until I pulled up the Winx club scripts and started laughing#Like damn! I could not have picked a better one if I'd been actively looking to highlight what I was talking about!#I just picked the first one that came to mind#Thank you Winx for being textbook perfect in how Magical Girl Team Shows tend to handle these plots#Seriously go read through those transcripts! It's such a perfect example of what I'm talking about!#Look how everything about Sky is focused on Bloom even though he's the one breaking off an engagement and damaging his family relationships#Not saying this is poorly written btw I'm just pointing out the difference between writing a main character and a love interest#If Sky was a main character then we'd have gotten a lot more focus on him trying to pick a path for his future#But he's a love interest so his future is already written in stone and what's written there is a single word: Bloom#look! I can use his Twitter feed to make points too!#But I would never JUST use his Twitter feed#I only use it when there's backing in the actual text which there very much is here#Anyone want me to talk about what these plot lines would look like in a show where romance was top dog or is that obvious?
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I find it so hilarious how no one in Camp Jupiter takes Octavian and his predictions seriously (even when the books says they do)
Oh, you say Greek gods exist? That they have children too? What's this about a camp? Don't be silly Octavian of course they don't
Sybillyne books? No they are a myth. Like an actual myth. No that harpy didn't memorise them before they burned down. Harpies can only cook and clean, everyone knows that.
Look Octavian, we're at war. Tensions are already high. We don’t need you to sow even more with your insistence on Titan army sneaking into camp and sabotaging weapons. Yes yes, you got stabbed by Saturn's general before, when you were right, that sucks— please shut up now
#octavian hoo#alabaster torrington#pjo#hoo#the first two are *canon*#the third is a hc thing#octavian is just never taken seriously lmfao#I could go to write paragraphs about cj and the titan war istg#I love Al#he did a bunch of shit tho#you can't be a general without that#I really believe bc cj had more numbers than chb#and bc they actually *had* a god defending at least the city#(no shade to mr d)#kronos would not attack there directly#at least not until olympus is taken over#first of all its protected by the legion#which is not made of mostly summer campers#bc it's a year around thing#and adult demigods+legacies would also be there#instead of just teenagers and one adult (chiron)#which is why I like to hc#✨️sabotage missions✨️#can the romans fix the damage to buildings in a matter of hours?#yes#but can they say the same about the weapons? the armour? important documents stolen?#i don't think so#also the risk of a small team getting captured would be less than the entire army#especially bc mt othrys is so close to cj#does this makes sense? idk. idc (i do a lil) but yeah
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okay now that i'm no longer trying to keep a project secret from certain people i can complain publicly about a thing i've been losing my mind about:
why the fuck is the evo wiki like that.
listen. i know. i know fandom wikis being decent entirely relies on whether there are people who both want to obsessively categorize things enough to fill out the wiki, with the free time to do that kind of obsessive categorization, and the desire to manage it all as a wiki. believe me, i know. but please i'm just trying to do research please, please at least bigb's page was just Entirely Empty so i knew i had useless information and just left. why the fuck did the mafia's page, by contrast, have this:
a sentence that is actively LESS USEFUL THAN IF IT WERE NOT THERE.
and then grian's page - GRIAN'S. GRIAN'S. THE ONE PAGE I THOUGHT MIGHT HAVE A SHOT OF BEING FILLED OUT. JOKE'S ON ME I GUESS.
BECAUSE IT HAS THIS????? I'M LOSING MY MIND. WHY ON EARTH IS THE WIKI LIKE THIS. WHY IS IT THIS BAD. PLEASE I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT EVERYONE'S RELATIONSHIPS WITH JIMMY AND MARTYN WERE PLEASE,
anyway thankfully i had friends who could help me with their own knowledge and who also found the evo recap but in conclusion i have been being driven mad by this for weeks, thank you for coming to my ted talk.
#evo smp#wailing and screaming. why is it THIS BAD#and like i know. i know fandom wikis can be very abandoned.#it's not like the hc wiki is actually all that good either (especially for less-watched hermits)#but this feels like 'bad because abandoned and lots of blank pages' and more ACTIVELY TRYING TO UN-HELP ME#ITS MAKING ME CRAZY#anyway. ANYWAY. i can FINALLY do this rant publicly because this project had to stay secret until today but now it can be public#.......which is to say hi i'm writing an evo thing don't worry about it.#anyway. the only vaguely useful page was the watchers one and even that one didn't have much detail in the places i actually wanted it#this is a call to action for any evo fans who really like wikis i guess? mostly i just wanted to share these two screenshots#because like. look. me having trouble figuring out who salem was because her page is blank is one thing#getting a 'i can't bother' in the ACTUAL TEXT OF THE ARTICLE is another#once again: thank god my beta found the recap.
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yuusha lore?????
"What a talented young lady!"
"Have you heard? She just lost a beloved family member the night before."
"Oh my! That is so recent! How sad!"
"Hmph. The loss must not have affected the kid that much. After all, how could she still perform so flawlessly?"
"Ah. You're quite right. If *I* lost a family member I simply won't be able to play like that because of the grief!"
"At least the show was able to go on despite the incident. It would have been a shame if it had been cancelled at the last minute."
#HELP I’M JUST POSTING BACK TO BACK HFKDJND#im procrastinating on work due in an hour as of posting this that's why#anyways nothing about this will make sense but to me#until i actually write more about it --#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst art#twst#twisted wonderland#twst grim#twst yuu#twst yuusona#(💜) yuusha#(💜) ramshackle sushi#pretwst💜#-✦—]#also i did not forget the light-colored strands in her hair ;;;#she did not have it yet during this memory#i need to finish her revamped intro post already omg#writing takes me forever
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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Okay hear me out
Pocket and Damien interacting somehow (assuming we pretend Pocket isn't canonically dead and idk maybe Pips introducing the two of them) and Pocket bringing up his dead bunnies and Damien takes note of that when he returns home
Next time he finds Pocket he brings along a swarm of twenty six demonic baby bunnies he found in hell to reunite with their owner
#THIS CAME TO ME IN A DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I SWEAR IT GETS FUNNEIR THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT#i actually forgot Pocket was dead canonically until writing this sjdjfjf#also yes i went back and checked the episode to make sure i had the right number of baby bunnies#Estella what the fuck#the bunnies should maul her methinks/j#sp foreign kids#herbert pocket#damien thorn#are these two shipped?#i dont intend for this to be a shipping thing but it could be interpreted as such if people want to#if i find the ship name ill add it to tags#South park#south park headcanon#sp damien#sp pocket#tw dead animal mention
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Man, the elden ring dlc makes me so fucking sad, like who is it at fromsoft that has such a massive boner for radahn that they have to ruin miquella's entire story?? like, having it be godwyn miquella was trying to resurrect is right fucking there, miq literally has eclipses in his eyes. did they run out of time to make a godwyn model and just decided to bork the entire story so they could recycle radahn's model??? did they forget that miq and mal had a reason to kill radahn already (he's holding back the stars which means the eclipse can't happen) and pulled some shit out of their ass last minute?????? Like what HAPPENED?!?!?!?!
#im almost glad elden ring got tainted for me when it did#cause if i was still invested in it when sote dropped i would have been DEVASTATED#im revoking fromsoft's permission to use the “eternal child” trope until they learn how to write a story again#and im stealing everything good about the game for my own stories#like fuck it#what if i just wrote a book about miquella finishing the plot that was actually laid out for him in the base game#instead of the garbage we got in sotw#*sote#seriously though#what the fuck HAPPENED#who wrote this shit???#fromsoft is usually so good#im tempted to blame grrm cause its more incest garbage#but supposedly he had nothing to do with the dlc#ughhhh
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i do not want to dig a hole but i am too much of a laura bailey pc enjoyer to not make this post so:
selfishness ≠ a lack of kindness
selfishness is a theme that has come up with all of laura's main campaign pcs. that doesn't mean that her characters are always making selfish choices or that they don't care about the rest of the people they're with or that they're not good. it's just that, for the most part, the first thing they're thinking of when they take action or make choices is themselves.
in jester and vex both it is more typical and obvious selfishness. vex's developed because she needed it to keep herself and vax alive and as safe as possible and it grew into a behaviour that she had to actively work to avoid. it's evident in her greed, her theft of the broom, her reaction to her own death which relied heavily on i'm okay/i survived to which keyleth reminded her that she wasn't the only one who had to witness and reckon with her death. in jester's case, she grew up in an environment that literally trained her to make every decision based on two things - her mother's opinion and her own. so, when she's out in the world without marion for the first time, her choices are those that will benefit her and her actions are those that consider her own thoughts and not really many others' (aside from the traveler's).
it isn't a criticism of either vex or jester to say that they are characters who act selfishly. in fact, i'd argue that to claim otherwise does a great disservice to exactly how immense both of their character arcs are. because the nuance of both jester and vex is that they are selfish, and they also hold extreme room for self-sacrifice and empathy. vex is much more brash than jester is, and jester is much more trusting than vex, but both of them are characters who begin with selfish impulses who grow with them. neither ever truly shed those impulses, but they use them in new ways, typically transforming them into impulses towards things that are in the best interest of the party.
you may have noticed the lack of imogen in this post about laura bailey pcs and that's because of two reasons. one, we are an unknown amount of time into her story, i can't analyse her development the same way i can vex and jester's. two, imogen's selfishness isn't the blatant quasi-self-aware selfishness that we see in things like jester complaining about her lack of money to caleb or vex stealing a broom. instead, imogen's is very internal, like a lot of laura's character work with imogen. it is a bit similar to jester’s in the sense that it comes from a lack of awareness moreso than vex’s practiced behaviour, but imogen’s is a lot more tied to inherent beliefs she has about the world and the people in it.
as a consequence of her powers, imogen sees people's thoughts as their entirety, she holds it above their actions to be the truth of who they are - to act against what they think or to say something that doesn’t cohere with what they’ve thought is akin to lying, so for her to act empathetically is to act in tandem with what someone else’s thoughts are, not how they act, which is typically not all that wanted. the same as vex’s greed and jester’s naivety, this is a trait that makes narrative sense and it’s one i find quite compelling, especially when read in the vein of someone struggling through trauma that has made them assume that the world is against them. imogen’s cynicism is coherent cynicism, i can’t say that in a similar situation i wouldn’t have the same predisposition towards the world.
the part that is particularly self-interested comes in if you look at how imogen has actually been treated in the campaign (quite well) in comparison to the cynicism that she’s developed from her past (something that speaks to a world out to get her). certainly, a bunch of shitty things have happened to imogen in the time we’ve known her, but the same can be said for everyone in bell’s hells and pretty much everyone in exandria at this point in time. but, in a fight to save the aforementioned world, imogen’s focus was getting her mother back on her side. which, while very consistent with her character and a choice that i enjoy, is a very selfish one. the fun thing (to me, obviously) about imogen is that she has, more than most, an insight into the opinions of others and she also tends to seek others’ opinions out and genuinely engages with them and supports their choices. but she still very much acts towards what she thinks is best. it’s one reason i enjoy looking at the dynamic between her and orym as one between foils, as orym tends to be stalwart in his beliefs and doesn’t care too much for other’s opinions if he’s already sure of his own, but his actions tend to favour collaboration and protecting others.
as i mentioned earlier, imogen is a harder case to look at because she is still in the process of her story. however, the circlet is clearly influencing how she interacts with the world and in the wake of the solstice, the hostile reaction towards ruidusborn people has started to become more and more apparent and i’m interested to see what route that ends up leading imogen down and how it will influence her relationship with the rest of bell’s hells. (for better, i think, based on recent conversations, but if it's for worse i will be just as seated and excited).
all of this is just to say, please stop assuming that claiming a character has a trait you think is a bad one is criticism or a hate post. in light of the fact that i know that people who don’t believe this will continue to not believe this, i’ll encourage anyone confused about the ability of a character to be good and kind and selfish all at once to look to what the text itself says, specifically scanlan’s words to pelor when asked what vex means to him:
“Her name is Vex, and she is greedy and mean sometimes, and she can steal a lot. She’s a little bit not the greatest person, but her flaws highlight everything that is right about her, which is she does all these things to protect her friends and her family. She would give her life for any of us and for anyone who was truly in need. And she’s not perfect but she’s the most perfect of all of us.”
would you look at that... an ability to be a multitude of things, some in conflict with one another. i know that's hard for fandoms to believe, especially about female characters with agency, but i promise its true!
#deeply unfair of laura to make three characters with some type of people skills and morality shaped by their loneliness#and what. i’m just supposed act like i’m normal about that?#this is me blog and i have slightly more time than usual to write nothing essays about fictional characters that haunt me#but dear god . lookin at cr characters and denying their flaws is like looking at a house and only seeing it’s doors .#if ppl demand perfection of fictional characters im genuinely curious in what media they’ve ever found that .#a single imogen post of mine broke containment and it skyrocketed my annoying phil student levels so. alas#but . if you agree that imogen had an incredibly isolating life . i will emphasize that isolation causes traits and behaviours#that aren’t just Quirky or fun or hot anger or whatever#imogen contains so much i love her so much i am bursting at the seams about it#but for some ppl. she is ur ‘girlfailure’ until someone suggests a way she might be girl failing by being selfinterested#what is the truth. do u want her to be an actual girlfailure it do u just want her to suit a . frankly tired. trope about lesbians#anyway . both text and tag rant over . goodnight#cr meta#imogen temult#vex’ahlia#vex’ahlia de rolo#jester lavorre#critical role#my posts
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listen...LISTEN!!!!!!! I don't CARE that Lister's lines are only here for the sake of the gag! I don't CARE that they're actively making fun of him! Rimmer having at least two friends (or, at the very least, two people he kind-of-gets-along-with-well-enough) that he meets with every Thursday is SO important to me.
#actually forgot this was a deleted scene until I thought about it again and went to look for it in the episode#anyway BLEASE!!!!!!!!!!#I physically NEED him to not have been completely alone over the last 15 years aboard the ship#red dwarf#arnold rimmer#he makes me so ill#currently 2am as of writing this but i will likely post this tomorrow at a more reasonable time#<-- if you saw this tag: no you didn't
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