#fully respect queer catholics

[lesbianherald]

i've gotten this comment multiple times both on here and irl and let me just explain this in four words dklfjshf lkas

queer person raised catholic

[evanorphia]

i want so badly to ship lilylene but i don’t see the vision 🙁 can you share some thoughts for lil ol’ me… heh [tiktok proud emoji]

hi e!!!! agh i love this question so much, you don’t understand. i’ve been thinking about lilylene a lot recently, slowly rotting my brain on lilylene and holyall tbh

okay so imagine

they both come from religious backgrounds and they both have complicated relationships with their faiths. marlene is from a catholic background and she knows that her parents would never support her being lesbian because of their faith. this is a fact that she knows, her parents have told her whether it be explicitly or not. lily, on the other hand, doesn’t really know her parents view on queer people but because she had never really been aware of the existence of queer people until she came to hogwarts once she realised that she herself was queer it took her a while to accept it, especially because everyone always said her and james would be perfect together. she was expected to end up with james, the golden boy and the golden boy, a perfect match – right? 

when they got together, lily found it easy to love marlene, in the same way marlene found it easy to love lily, but they both struggled with accepting the fact that they loved the other. marlene had already accepted the fact that she would never like a boy romantically and she found it easier to be in the relationship with lily although there was always that little voice in the back of her head telling her it was wrong. lily hadn’t even accepted this part of her fully though, especially not when they first started dating, and after a while they broke up. lily ended up getting with james, who she never had a problem accepting that she loved because he was a boy and she was a girl. but the thing is, james was also marlene’s best friend. lily broke up with marlene only to end up with marlene’s best friend, fun right?

furthermore, none of their friends ever really noticed that they were together. at first, they hid it, but after a while they didn’t but because everyone saw them as two best friends, only thinking of them platonically, not many of them really caught on and overlooked everything romantic between them, passing it off as two best friends. so, when they broke up, no one else was there to remember what they had. when they both died, no one else was there to tell the stories of how lily evans had once loved marlene mckinnon and how marlene mckinnon had once loved lily evans. and i don’t think after the break up that love they shared ever went away, sure they weren’t together anymore, but they still held the utmost love and respect for the other. it would always go beyond being platonic even if their relationship was only that – two best friends. because that’s what everyone thinks that they are, so why not be that. 

in another world, i think they could have had their fairytale romance, but i don’t think that makes sense for them in canon… or really in any of my AUs i have of them, if you’ve seen any of my edits then you’ve seen how like all of them have been depressing af. i think a lot of what they had was the two of them finding comfort in each other but not being able to accept the fact that the found comfort in the other, they’d always be stuck in this state of yearning after the breakup but not able to do anything because lily was with james.

in the words of my friend soavelee on tiktok: "it kind of has this feeling of „would they? will they?“ and the answer is YES THEY WILL but they could yell it from rooftops and the wind would carry it away and it would never reach the ears of those that mattered"

and now im gonna yap about the brand of lilylene where they never even get together

they have so much potential for a homoerotic friendship, pining over each other and occasionally progressing past things just friends do. but thats what they were, just friends. it was very much a state of limbo they were stuck in, but nothing really happened to take them out of it but neither of them cared much for that, they didn’t care that they may never be able to call the other theirs because they were content and happy with what they had already and that was what was beautiful about their relationship. they’d be supportive of the other if they ended up in a relationship with someone else but they were also so fucking happy to keep the other for themself. BUT THEY WERE NEVER EACH OTHERS. and that was fine. and that was the key thing. it was very much just a thing that happened once and they made no effort to change it

in terms of lilylene coded songs imo: you're not the only one - sam fender sailor song - gigi perez i love you, i'm sorry - gracie abrams maroon - taylor swift all my love - noah kahan free now - gracie abrams she calls me back - noah kahan (for a particularly angsty version of lilylene)

i hope my yap has been substantial for you and has maybe hopefully gotten you to ship them a bit more?? i'd love to hear everyone else's thoughts on lilylene and i would love to yap about them more, this yap was very quick and off the top of my head (also with some input from my friend) so it may not be 100% my best work. i also feel as though this is an appropriate time to say that i am working on a lilylene fic that is my second priority after devant

[kienansidhe]

hi, im kienan! im the current host of the disaster hearts system. we are a korean american body with dissociative identity disorder and have had multiple diff hosts over the course of this blogs run. i or some variation of me have been host since around 2017-18ish. for transparencys sake, the body is 25+. do not ask abt age specifics please.

we are a survivor of csa trauma, parental abuse, religious and cult abuse, and generally very traumatized, and our experience of life is irrevocably colored by that lens.

we are disabled and unable to hold a job ever since we got long covid in april of 2020. we are fully dependent on our partners, working on our disability application, and still coming to terms with the reality of being probably permanently disabled.

unless otherwise specified it is probably some variation of kienan speaking.

-♡♡♡-

i, kienan, am queer and i prefer to be addressed by strangers with he/they/it or fae/faeself pronouns. i dont rlly care which of those you use, tho, no need to rotate or anything.

some other labels that generally describe me: nonbinary, transmasc, gnc, cuntboy, [redacted], [redacted], femme, femboy, genderweird, bi, aro/ace with a couple exceptions, sex favorable, kink obligate, freak, degenerate, pervert.

i currently have 4 partners, referred to here as prettyboyfriend, nesting boyfriend, girlfriend/daddy, and moirail.

no dni, i think theyre stupid and the only ppl i would not want to interact would not respect dnis anyways lmao. if i have a problem with you i will just say so or block you or whatever.

some of my beliefs and what to expect on this blog are under the cut.

i believe in rehabilitation and compassion, full stop. yes, even for those people. i think that othering and dehumanizing others sucks, that thoughts do not define you (yes, even those thoughts), and that the only thing that matters is your actions.

i think callouts are never helpful, ever. ive literally never seen one do anything helpful or good.

i try my best to interact with others in good faith, and i expect the same in return.

we were homeschooled in a cult and our education was heavily ~moderated~ to keep us brainwashed, and every time i think ive rooted out all the misinfo new stuff comes up. please be patient with me if i ask stupid questions, i literally am stupid. i have so much literal actual brain damage. i will do my best to be open minded, i rlly want to learn!

i believe that the best ways to combat csa are better sex education, breaking down the sanctity of the nuclear family, youth liberation (more legal rights and self advocacy for children), and not clogging child abuse report portals with fucking fictional art, jesus h christ.

medicalization of identities sucks. sysmeds, transmeds, im sorry youre miserable but thats not an excuse for trying to make everyone else miserable with you.

labels are only useful insofar as they help you connect with others like you and form solidarity in order to combat systemic oppression. if labels make you angry or miserable, consider not taking them so seriously.

its okay to just dislike ppl. its not always that deep. trying to come up with moral reasons to justify disliking ppl is rlly fucking catholic.

dont talk to me abt christianity. im aware that my trauma affects my ability to be compassionate in this area, so im staying in my lane. in fact probably dont talk to me abt religion in general.

im not a proshipper or an anti i touch grass <3, HOWEVER:

antishipping / purity politics / anti-kink / whatever you wanna call it, ppl equating fictional depictions of Obvious Bad Things with condoning, supporting, or normalizing them in real life are fucking stupid and have done unbelievable amounts of damage that has now reached far beyond fandom and kink circles. get a life, for fucks sake.

ppl who call themselves proshippers and then go around harassing antis are fucking stupid and have lost the original spirit of the term proship / anti-anti, which hinged around not harassing or harming others over fiction. get a life, for fucks sake.

just be kind. dont be a dick. treat others how you wanna be treated. we are all traumatized but thats not an excuse to be cruel. leave the world better than you found it.

youre gonna make mistakes. you just are. youre not perfect and also the world is complex. remember that you cant help everyone. try your best but dont lose yourself in the process.

art is everything. the act of creation is holy. more progress is made by creating -- building communities, making art, growing plants, building houses, building relationships -- than by tearing things down. there is probably a time and place for violence, destroying oppressive systems, bombing weapons factories, but if we arent creating a positive, healthy society alongside the destruction we are just leaving fertile ground for new oppressive structures to take root. create. create. create.

-♡♡♡-

many hosts has left a chaotic mess of tags on this blog but here are some we use pretty consistently:

#headspace: original posts. diary rambling, random thoughts, actual semi coherent opinions, anything

#my face: the body

#humans are good actually: reminders

#recovery things: mental health help

#important: there is so much stuff in this tag

#bookmark: too much here too lol

#feel better: just fluffy stuff

#vine: general funny video tag

#about, #me kin id, #i ghostwrote this post: stuff we relate to rlly hard + uquiz tags lol

#posts that are funnier when plural

[bookmuseum]

[REVIEW] The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri

3/5 stars (★★★)

DISCLAIMER: This review is very unserious and mostly just me giggling over Dante and Virgil's gay tension.

Even with my Catholic upbringing and theological + historical Christian knowledge, The Divine Comedy was very difficult to read for me. All three parts were dense. Not only that, but this deluxe edition went all-out with the notes on the text and annotations, so even if one canto was only like 150ish lines it had 5 pages of heavy context that I had to slog through and try to apply to the canto itself. I ended up learning a lot about Dante and Italian socio-religious politics leading up to the 14th century, which was wild and, though objectively interesting, still extremely boring to me.

I will honestly say though that I was not prepared to read TDC when I first started it. Like I said, you need a lot of context and background information to even understand most of what Dante is even saying. He goes into theory, geometry, and philosophy so deeply (this edition had GRAPHS and CHARTS in the additional notes that's how insane this man was). While I would say you don't necessarily need that much context to read Inferno (which I agree is the best one out of the three), it is suicide to just throw yourself into Purgatorio and Paradiso without doing some research first, which is definitely why the later two parts TDC aren't as popular as Dante's shenanigans in Hell. I honestly would've given the entire trilogy a 1/5 star rating (based on my personal taste, mind you -- I acknowledge it's a 5/5 masterpiece that is truly worthy of being called "divine" so nobody come at me), but Inferno was entertaining enough to bump it up to a 3/5 stars. I never want to (re)read this again though. Phew!

Some necessary words on Inferno: The gay moments between Dante and Virgil sent me into empyrean heights of delight. When Dante realizes Virgil's ghost is in the dark wood at the beginning, he goes, "[M]y brow, in shy respect, bent low" and then Dante, totally unprompted, proceeds to say,

"You are that Virgil ... You are the light and glory of all poets. May this well serve me: my unending care, the love so great, that's made me search your writings through! You are my teacher. You, my lord and law. From you alone I took the fine-tuned style that has already brought me so much honor."

HELLO?????????? Then later on their way to Hell Dante hesitates before entering and asks Virgil, "You, my poet and my guide, look at me hard" and asks for reassurance that going down to eternal damnation is a good idea so Virgil, considerate boyfriend that he is, comforts Dante, which leads him to compare himself to "little flowers" bending "low" and "closed tight" and only open up as the sunlight (AKA Virgil) makes them "grow upright on their stems and fully open." EXCUSE ME!!!!!!?????? There were so many other points that went so heavy on the queer sexual tension:

"'...You, as you speak, have so disposed my heart in keen desire to journey on the way that I return to find my first good purpose. Set off! A single will inspires us both. You are my lord, my leader and true guide.' All this I said to him as he moved on. I entered on that deep and wooded road."

My God Dante you fruity little man.

Anyway, back to practicalities: I don't really recommend this Penguin Classics Deluxe edition of the texts if you want to actually read TDC in earnest. The annotations and supplementary notes were great and I think Robin Kirkpatrick (the editor) did an amazing job composing the entire thing, but I felt like a lot was lost in translation (and over-relied on explanatory notes), which really took away from the overall reading experience, so if you want to grasp the linguistic and poetic depth of Dante then this version is definitely not for you. The cover is very pretty though.

Lastly, even if I didn't really vibe well with TDC, I do now have a soft spot for Dante. I mean, how couldn't I? He spent over a decade composing this epic poem and he made it his personal goal to be as much a hater to the Vatican whilst also being such a pathetic boyfailure to all his literary seniors (crushes) as possible. There were literally so many times he portrayed himself as a little kid crying to his parents in the presence of Virgil or Beatrice. There was even a section in Paradiso when he described drinking holy water as like when a baby faceplants itself on its mother's boobs and I died laughing. I also think it was really funyn that when Dante finally reunites with Beatrice at the end of Purgatorio she's just mean to him. Like she's so mean and Dante eats it up like the FREAK he is.

[actualmermaid]

Today's queer saint of the day is Our Lady of Montevirgene, the miracle of 1256, and the Juta dei Femminielli.

This is one of those things where you start researching it and immediately go "whoa! EVERYONE needs to know about this!" It is something that is (unfortunately) extremely rare in Christianity: a venerable and explicit celebration of queerness, and specifically transfeminine identity.

The abbey of Montevirgene, near Naples in Italy, was built in the 1100s on top of the ruins of a temple to Cybele or Magna Mater, an ancient earth goddess who was (and still is) served by transfeminine priestesses called gallae. The local people fully accept that early Christian missionaries identified Cybele with Mary in order to encourage conversion, and they do not see any conflict in it. Whether it's Cybele or Mary, there is a divine presence on Montevirgene, and it is a divine presence that loves and protects queer and trans people in particular.

According to the legend, in AD 1256, a young queer couple was being persecuted by their community. They were stripped, beaten, and left for dead on top of the hill in the middle of winter. Moved by their plight, the Madonna warmed them with a ray of sunshine, and they survived. The community accepted this as a miracle, and let the young couple return in peace. Ever since then, the miracle has been commemorated with a grand procession and celebration on Candelora or Candlemass (February 2). Part of this celebration involves the "Juta dei Femminielli," which I have mostly seen translated into English as the "March of the Transsexuals."

Femminielli are actually a culturally-specific transfeminine identity that doesn't translate neatly into English, and they are an ancient community of people who pre-date modern notions of gender identity and sexual orientation. Dancing, singing, drumming, and wearing fun costumes, they lead the pilgrimage up the hill to the abbey, where Mass is celebrated and the pilgrims venerate the icon of the Madonna. It has been called "the world's oldest Pride parade."

There is some conflict between the pilgrims and the abbey, but that too seems like part of the performance: almost an acknowledgment of the tension between the pleasant organic weirdness of "folk" Christianity and the dour, patriarchal, no-fun-allowed institutional Church. However, if the abbey really didn't want the pilgrims there, they had 800 years to suppress them, and the pilgrimage continues with the agreement that they will not disturb the celebration of the Mass. After all, the pilgrims are also devoted Roman Catholics, and they respect the sanctity of the sacraments. It is a celebration of the meeting between the sacred and profane, heaven and earth, masculine and feminine, and it does not appear to be going away any time soon.

If you want to know more about this apparition and the pilgrimage, I recommend this 23-minute documentary​

There is also a Qspirit entry and a website to promote the pilgrimage

[asclexe]

project; fully staff ppth

meet the oncology ward’s cuntiest nurse!!!

⭐️BASICS :3⭐️

name: nurse leo fitsher

full name: leo timothy neil fitsher jr

nickname: lee, nurse fag

gender: male, cis (he/him)

age: 62 (dob april 24, 1942)

nationality/ethnicity: italian american. born and raised in new york

heavy new york accent. ‘ey, i’m walkin’ ‘ere!

ppth position: oncology nurse, second oldest in the ward and there the longest

sexuality: gay man

he has a husband, they got married in massachusetts the month after it was legalized in may, but they’d known eachother and been in passionate love since the ‘70s

personality: the most flamboyant, bitchy, cunty guy you will ever meet. an absolute character. he will talk your ear off the wall with the most interesting stories about queer history. absolute yapper. loves gossiping with the other nurses. acts like a bitchy nursing home worker to all the patients. the only way in my mind to describe him is bitchy. nice, sometimes. it very apparent if he doesn’t like you, but he likes mostly everyone. he basically adopts all of the new hires, has a habit of calling people honey/darling/babe platonically. he’s your old gay bitchy uncle! you either love him or loathe him

appearance: old, tall, chubby white guy. like joe biden but with fat and less deterioration. again, looks very bitchy and unfriendly. very short, thinning white hair. grey stubble. slight dent on his forehead from being dropped as a baby

style: wears scrubs, varying from basic blue to grinch pattern. comfy old man sliders. pens in his pocket. that’s it.

he has diabetes type one, has had lots of health issues but he’s primarily healthy and very happy in life now :3

⭐️BACKSTORY :3⭐️

born to a big poor traditional catholic italian family in 1940s new york. mama’s boy. he was raised ‘classically’, he got spanked a ton and played in the streets. had dreams of being an actor, got called a faggot a lot, until reality hit and his parents pushed him into the military. got discharged. mom died. was an broadway for the first time. got engaged to a lovely woman, who he probably would’ve married if he wasn’t gay. broke it off. got hatecrimed. left new york. met the love of his life. moved to new jersey for his partners job. started as a nurse at ppth. lived through the aids crisis. traveled to massachusetts to get married.

⭐️RELATIONSHIPS WITH EVERYONE :3⭐️

wilson: leo is the most organized, most efficient, rudest nurse in his department and he’s like a wine aunt to wilson. like his gay dad. frequently gives him advice.

house: house lowkey respects him. leo tries to set him up with wilson. that’s it.

thirteen: like a father. they bumped into eachother and he immediately went ‘i like you!’ she’s his prodigal daughter along with house

⭐️FUN FACTS :3⭐️

giant theatre attender, has seen soo many plays and he keeps all the playbills in storage

he and his husband have like, four cats and a dog

attended the stonewall riots, went to a bunch of old gay clubs, witnessed a lot of queer history

he and his husband host a dinner party at this italian restaurant every sunday with a bunch of other old queers

did drag and was a male stripper when he was like in his 20s

american red cross is his number one op

goes all out on christmas purely for fun

will prob add more :3 we need nurses guys 🫡🫡 not all heros wear capes

[qnewsau]

Vic bookshop owner wants books to be more white and less gay

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/victoria-bookshop-owner-wants-books-to-be-more-white-and-less-gay/

Vic bookshop owner wants books to be more white and less gay

The owner of a Victorian bookstore chain has apologised after she called for more picture books with “just white kids on the cover” and less “wheelchair, rainbow or Indigenous” representation.

Susanne Horman has owned the Robinsons Bookshop chain since 2007. There are a number of the indie bookstores across Melbourne.

At the weekend, a series of Susanne’s posts from her personal Twitter X account, written last month, circulated online.

In the posts, she called for Australian publishing to put out more “white family stories” with “white kids” on the covers, and less “wheelchair, rainbow or Indigenous” representation.

“What’s missing from our bookshelves in store?” Susanne Horman wrote in a now-deleted post, accompanied by the hashtag #weneedbetterstories.

“Positive male lead characters of any age, any traditional nuclear white family stories, kids picture books with just white kids on the cover, and no wheelchair, rainbow or indigenous art, non indig [sic] aus history.”

In another post, she also vowed not to stock diverse books that are “against white Australians” and “cause harm and make Australians hate each other”.

“Books we don’t need: hate against white Australians, socialist agenda, equity over equality, diversity and inclusion (READ AS anti-white exclusion), left-wing govt propaganda. Basically the woke agenda that divides people. Not stocking any of these in 2024.”

‘So wildly out of pocket’

At the weekend, an Instagram account coffeebooksandmagic shared the now-deleted social media posts, with hundreds of commenters calling them out.

The account owner clarified she’s “not one for willy nilly ‘cancelling’ but the comments … are so wildly out of pocket that I have no problem suggesting a widespread boycott would be appropriate”.

“[Susanne Horman] has not only said she wants more white people on covers and in books, but goes further to say that she won’t be stocking anything that … well, what, exactly? Isn’t about white people?” she wrote.

“And then somehow manages to claim that she’s fighting division.

“This kind of mentality has no place in the modern landscape and I truly hope it will eventually die out with the generation that’s as archaic as her website.”

Ouch.

  View this post on Instagram

  A post shared by Emily | books 📚 and magic ✨ (@coffeebooksandmagic)

Robinsons Bookshop apologises for comments

Speaking to The Age, Susanne Horman issued an apology to Robinsons Bookshop staff and “anyone who was offended by the comments”. She claimed they had been “taken out of context”.

In a Facebook statement, Robinsons Bookshop also apologised and said the posts “misrepresented the views” of the company.

“We clearly state, so there is no misunderstanding, that we fully support and encourage stories from diverse voices [and] minorities,” the post read.

“We are most definitely stocking these important topics and the authors that write them.

“As a business, we will continue advocating for positive hope-filled stories that bring out the best in all our community and make all people feel supported and fulfilled.

“We ask everyone to treat all of our staff with kindness and respect.”

Read also:

Gay author Will Kostakis invited to Catholic school, told not to say gay

Holden Sheppard’s queer novel Invisible Boys to become TV series

Brisbane’s Queer Readers recommend their must-read books this summer

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[rysingsun]

Hello, I’m Ameera a 23 years old Muslim lesbian who is trying to come out, I’ve been in the closet with my girlfriend for way too long, because of how dangerous and hard it is to come out as a lesbian to a religious Muslim family, but me and my girlfriend have decided to do whatever it takes and risk it all to come out, do you mind supporting and encouraging us?, though I know we all have what we dealing with, so I’m not imposing we just need all the support and encouragement we can get, check my pinned post for more information on how you can support, if you are a Muslim queer and you are out, please help with tips on how to make it less complicated, any word of advice is also really needed, we really wanna come out but we need y’all 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ pride please come through for us, I believe pride is for all

Sounds like we’re about the same age! My family is Catholic, but not especially strict. They don’t really “get it” (especially the non-binary part) but I was lucky enough to not be disowned, which not everyone can say. That said, our family environments are different, so my advice is going to be more general rather than religion-specific. I also don’t know if you also live in the U.S, or in a different country, so again, broad advice that speaks specifically to queerness rather than queer intersectionality (it would not be my place, and I will acknowledge that as an able-bodied, white, culturally Christian queer I have a relatively speaking easy flavor of queerness compared to others due to not facing intersectional discrimination).

I know it can be frustrating to hide who you are, but make sure you are prioritizing your safety. I’m not saying not to come out, that’s up to you, but make sure you have at least one backup plan if things go poorly. Know safe resources, such as a physical location that would be safe to move to if your home is ‘compromised’ and friends or relatives that are supportive and willing to help if you’re in trouble financially or otherwise. Even though things turned out alright for me, it would’ve been smart for me to take those precautions even though I thought things would turn out okay. It’s better to have an emergency plan and not use it than to have no plan and things go badly.

There is nothing wrong with who you are and you should celebrate it and be proud that in a world that’s still not fully accepting, you are existing and not in denial of your self. Regardless of whether there is or is not a God, there are too many queer people to be a fluke, we exist as intended. Gay people and sex-repulsed asexuals who want children often raise children who no longer had parents to care for them. Trans people have encouraged science and innovation to discover so much more about how our bodies and brains function, as well as show the world how important identity is. All queer people challenge the norm by existing and show how arbitrary and strange some societal norms are, and how cisheteronormativity caters to cishets, and even then is rigid and limits self-expression for them as well! You are part of something great and worthy of acceptance and love. But we are also still individuals who are worthy of respect regardless of how we may be “useful” to the world, and those ways I listed queer people help the world go round should not be justification but instead fun food for thought. If that isn’t enough to make you proud of queer people, take a look at queer history. We are certainly not the first generation and we will not be the last. We have PRIDE because our predecessors fought for us to live, not just openly, but to live at all. We’ve come far in some places in the world, but still not far enough. And as long as there is that struggle we will celebrate being alive and queer as a middle finger to all who don’t want us to be. You are part of a demographic of people who are strong because they have to be, who survive when they can and then spite those that hate them by daring to be queer and happy.

You are also an individual, not just part of something greater than yourself. YOU are important, and you know your exact situation better than I do. The fact that you said “dangerous” and not just scary for social reasons makes me think you could potentially be at high-risk of harm by coming out. I’ve heard worst case scenario stories, Muslim and otherwise. It can be tricky to find a good balance of safety and freedom of expression, especially when you’re tired of hiding and want to just throw caution to the wind. Again, you know your situation and your family better than I do. Come out if you think now is the best time. But also take precautions to be safe.

I wish you the best and hope things go as well as they can <3 Be you, be proud, but most importantly, be safe.

[queerevelations]

blog intro of sorts ⭑

hello!! I’ve decided to start a religious sideblog for a couple reasons. I realized recently that I actually can call myself a Christian. Majority of my friends and family aren’t people I can really talk to about this, and my main isn’t the place for religion, so I’m going to put it all here.

My name is Spring, and I use she/they or really any pronouns :]

if you know me from somewhere else, this might get a little weird for both of us as you will likely never have seen this side of me, but you’re welcome nonetheless<3

I follow/like from @13crowsinatree

here’s some facts abt myself:

• I’m currently unbaptized, but go to church regularly

• I’m in university, majoring in history with a minor in Abrahamic religions

• I live in Eastern Canada, and my church is part of the Anglican Church of Canada

• I’m white and was raised irreligious

• I’m currently learning latin and can speak french and german

• my journey with religion actually began with Islam, and I hold a lot of love for it. I became deeply interested in and fond of the Abrahamic faiths starting with Islam in the 10th grade, and have both done my own research and taken classes / gone to lectures on the three faiths. Once I can declare my major I will be officially minoring in Abrahamic religions at my uni!! I would love to chat if you belong to/are interested in any of the three :]

• anyone of any or no faith is welcome here!! yes, even yours

• my personal bible is the NRSV Catholic edition<3

• I don’t fully align with any particular political party in Canada, but I am a leftist and generally very “liberal” in all areas

• I love, respect, and support all trans and queer folks. God made us in His image and loves all of us. We belong here as much as anyone

• I’m very feminist (but terf unfriendly!) and pro-choice. I will not debate this with anyone so kindly don’t try

I’m here for fun, be kind and respectful or leave. Same goes for me!

please remember to keep Palestine and Lebanon in your prayers

if you’re reading this, thank you and have a great day<3

[angria]

About this Blog

*Do not reblog personal posts tagged #angriadm*

Hi all, I’m Angria, not my real name (it comes from my love of the Brontë's…it’s the name of their childhood paracosm).  I live on the east coast of the US, both my home-state and the city in which I currently live.  I’m 34 and a gay/queer, cis-woman with she/her pronouns. Was a teacher, now a social work grad student.  I’ve been on here for over 10 years.  This is my outlet and safe space to express things I cannot talk about outside of therapy.  I post what I like or things that resonate with me. I'm weird and pay attention to how my tumblr looks (like how the colors, quotes, pics go together), so I usually blast 20+ posts in a row and then silence...that probably will annoy some people. Also...I curse. A lot (probably too much, but eh). And I do not tag it, so no TWs with regard to swearing.

Speaking of, I have a very specific tag system that serves me and not necessarily others in the sense of trigger warnings.  Just be aware of that and if you do need to unfollow me, I fully understand.

1) I mainly struggle with CPTSD, BPD, and severe depression from childhood abuse and neglect.  I also struggle with self harm and will mention it, usually as SH (no graphic details).  I am still in contact with my parents, for financial/practical reasons amongst others.  So please do not recommend I go no-contact.  It is a very complex situation and I actively discuss it with T.

2) I am very private when it comes to locations and people, mainly because I’m afraid of people I know finding my tumblr.  So my privacy settings are very strict and I do not allow anons.  I’ve never had a good experience during the two times I allowed it years ago.  This is my personal, private safe space and I do not need some random person’s cowardice and ignorant judgments invading it.

3) As a heads up, I do talk about religion and my faith, specifically Christianity.  I’m Episcopalian, was Atheist for a time, and recovering from my religious trauma inflicted by the Catholic Church (born and raised in a dogmatic household and school). I am a firm supporter of inclusive, affirming, and accepting theology. Religion should never be weaponized to control and manipulate others with threatening, bigoted, hate-filled doctrine or beliefs.  If it makes you feel shame, fear, or worthlessness, it does not come from God.  It comes from twisted and false human ideology cowardly hiding behind the guise of “religion.”

I did study and teach Theology for many years; however, no, I do not wish to argue or debate theological or religious discourse.  That is not the point of my blog.  It’s completely fine if you disagree with me or have different beliefs/faiths. But, I am not inviting people to challenge me purely because I have a faith.  I respect other’s faith or non-belief (as long as it doesn’t harm others), so please respect mine.  I am open to genuine questions that you may have; however, I am by no means an authority nor consider myself an expert.  I may know more than the average person, but I will always be in a state of learning.

I do write about things regarding religion that may trigger people, so please take care of yourself and unfollow, if need be. I try my best to notify people with TW/CWs and Read More’s.

Some main people/things I mention…

T is my therapist of 12 years.  He is an incredible person who has supported me and helped me throughout our time together, never giving up on me .  I probably would not be here if it wasn’t for our work.  I vent about him occasionally if I’m upset with him (which we do talk about eventually).  This is not an invitation to judge him or my therapy. My blog is only a snapshot of our years together.  You do not know him, his experience and professionalism, our boundaries, nor fully understand the context of what we discuss and process.

Dr W is my psychiatrist of 11 years.  She also is a huge advocate and actually listens to me when it comes to my symptoms, medication, and their side-effects, which is a rarity when it comes to psychs.   

Her is a child-part, for lack of better term.  The Voice is a fight(?) part.  I do not have DID, but I have been told I fit criteria of OSDD.  While I agree, I am still hesitant to say I have it.  I just know Her and The Voice are more fragmented/dissociated than how “parts” are described in IFS (Internal Family Systems).

Smshellhole was the Catholic school I attended for 11 years, from preschool to 8th grade (I always call it hellhole; the school's name is a trigger).  I was severely bullied and abused throughout that time, both from kids and teachers.  As well as the priest who worked there.  The time between 3rd and 7th grade were the worst years when I was so dissociated I can’t remember much…just small pieces. Along with the abuse and neglect at home. Main abuser is a person from hellhole during the worst years.

E and J are the priests at my Episcopal church St. P’s and have been life-changing for me and immense supporters as I untangle and process my religious trauma (a couple years ago, J left to assume a different role in a diocese that is in another state. Which completely devastated me). W is our new priest and so far seems to be kind, gentle, and welcoming.

And if you are feeling up to it, check out my positivity/recovery blog spegaudentes (Latin for rejoicing in hope). Mostly stuff that makes me happy with a smattering of coping skills and memes.

[the-oddest-inkling]

What it’s like to be a Queer Catholic

To that Anon who asked me what I mean by being a queer Catholic. I will try to explain it as best as I can, because I still haven’t unlocked all the answer myself. Finding yourself is an ongoing process. 

So, anyway: Y’all probably know how much I struggle with being Catholic and finding out who I am (basically who I am attracted to or not). 

Basically, I am currently identifying as being on the aromantic and asexual spectrum, but with tendencies to being bisexual. 

What does that mean? You ask? 

Theoretically I am attracted to both genders in specific circumstances, but I do not act on those feelings. Even if I want to at times, don’t get me wrong. 

For example most of the times my attraction shows itself by having crushes on either fictional characters or some celebrity. Because these are safe crushes to have, because unreachable. I also have same-sex ships that I adore and I do read fanfics sometimes with explicit content. I also have a history of watching porn to figure out who I am attracted to. But I do not act on these feelings. Fanfiction how I “compensate” it with. Makes me feel less lonely and alienated. 

Does that mean I fully support the LGBT Community?

Short answer? No. Absolutely not. 

Does that mean I follow Church Teaching regarding how to deal with these “desires” (I wouldn’t really call them that in my special case). That’s a more difficult answer. Because on the one hand, yes, I believe that the Church is right about how she handles this topic, because I have seen how the LGBT Community acts most of the time. On the other hand, I can’t understand how a relationship between two consenting adults who love, cherish and respect each other can be seen as a sin. Which means, I do believe that to some extend that the passages that talk about homosexuality need to  be read in a historical context. I am not sure how to deal with some scholars that argue that the Bible simply didn’t know homosexual relationships how we define them today. On the one hand I want to believe that, because it makes me feel better internally, on the other hand, these theologians are a lot smarter than I am. 

So, that turned out longer than I expected. Hope this helps some of you. 

[queerprayers]

You know that unrepentant sinning and repeatedly dismissing other Christians’ rebukes of your sinning defacto results in you being excommunicated by virtually every Biblical Church in existence right? Also false testimony and false teaching is a mortal sin. I cannot stress this enough, you either believe or you don’t and that belief has strings attached, if you want to succumb to the sins of the world then do so, but don’t act like there’s anything Christian about doing so.

Welcome to my blog, child of God. Thank you for this heartfelt and honest opinion, and I hope my answer will be to your satisfaction, and that my hurt and anger at your message doesn't shine through in these words. I'll end up being overly formal instead :)

I repent every day of my sins. Not usually publicly on this blog, but in confession with my pastor and in private through prayer. Repentance is a big deal in the Lutheran Church, and I take it seriously. The place we obviously disagree is whether my queerness is inherently a sin. Here are some resources and book recommendations if you'd like to learn more about mine and others' positions. I don't have the time or energy to explain my theology fully to everyone who asks, but on this blog, my Instagram, and through that collection of resources, I hope that it will be enough. Since I, along with many others, do not believe that I sin by identifying as queer, I do not repent of it. And someday when I enter a same-gender monogamous marriage in the Church, I will not repent, but celebrate.

I have never dismissed another's opinion. I have identified it as being harmful, and not let it change my life, but I will never dismiss—see me throughly reading and answering your ask, even though I am well within my rights to delete it.

I don't know much about the history of excommunication, but I do think it's funny to threaten me with that, seeing as I'm a Lutheran and our denomination was built around a man who was in fact excommunicated by the Catholic Church. I don't think Lutheran churches actively excommunicate right now (I know mine sure doesn't), but if they did and they decided to exclude me, that would break my heart and I would stand my ground. "Here I stand. I can do no other. God help me. Amen."

I have never given false testimony. I cannot promise I'm "right" about everything, but everything I write about my life and theology is true to me. My testimony is my own, and who are you to call it false? I have respected and welcomed your testimony to this blog, and I would ask you to do the same.

I don't presume to be a teacher, but to the extent that I do teach, I teach from own and others' truth. Again, only God knows the truth about the world, but I, to the best of my ability, give people what I know to be truth. I apologize if it does not match up with your truth/experience. Feel free to share more.

I really like the phrase, "belief has strings attached!" If I was more passive aggressive, I would take it and use it in a poem.

Lutherans believe we have all succumbed to the sins of the world. "We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) I don't think we'll truly know until we meet God in the next life all the sins we succumbed to, but we try our best, and repent of the unknown ones.

There is a long history of queerness in Christianity, and I will act like there's something Christian about accepting it, thank you very much.

I truly hope you have a blessed day, and that God may help change your heart.

<3 Johanna

[that-love-is-all-there-is]

so um...

I was perusing articles at a Catholic-themed website a friend recommended me a podcast from and was curious about an article on atheists, so I ended up reading several on this theme, why people don’t believe or why they leave the Church. And as someone who has wished they were an atheist a lot of times in the past, I don’t really think any religious articles I have read about ex-Christian atheism have been on point.

There may well be ex-Christian atheists who (as these articles claim) lack humility to recognize they’re not the same as God, or who want to do whatever they want without God’s law in the way. But I don’t know them. I have enough friends who are ex-Christian atheists to have the impression that the abuse of authority by religious leaders, horrific failures of people by the Church, and above all disenchantment with the idea of the healing power of God’s love are all often factors.

That is even before one brings up people who are appalled by the things so many Christians say are ok that are repugnant, or things they say are horrible sins that are just how people are made. Logical arguments are not dismissible either--some people I know are atheists because theodicy was unsolvable, or because they don’t believe there is good evidence for God.

Until the Church stops infantilizing atheists by saying “Aw, did big mean God not let you run wild? Boohoo--Obey Him” I don’t believe good atheist-Catholic dialogue is possible.

As a queer Catholic I’m very sensitive to having a disagreement and having it framed as something wrong with me, not with the Church or even just as a disagreement. Atheists are capable of being happy, fully alive human beings. Atheists are people with agency who deserve respect and to be treated as equals. And I’m sick of hearing Catholics and other Christians I know behave with such condescension. “How do they live without God! I’d be so miserable” and “Atheists must secretly be so unfulfilled and empty inside.” Oh my goodness can so many of us do better by our atheist neighbors. That’s all.

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

hello hello! Really sorry this ask is out of the blue but uhh. It’s the beginning of lent and so I’m a little in my feelings rn. I just wanted to ask as an ex-Christian like… do you ever feel a little stuck in-between?? This is worded so badly aaa but you know. Like as if you will never truly be free of the church despite it going against everything you stand for

Just for reference I was raised in A very weird household - my mother is a Latin Roman Catholic and my dad was an African Eastern Orthodox Catholic so even from youth I’ve always felt like I was stuck in some kind of limbo due to the conflicting views on dogma despite technically belonging to the same branch of christianity and it only got worse when my dad left his religion and my mother basically became an extremist. I never felt like I did enough for my religion and leaving to live in a more secular country for a few years really compounded on that and genuinely made me break down from the back to back crises of faith I was having on my own

now I feel sometimes like I don’t want to be religious. I deffo don’t want to be a Catholic of any kind at least, esp. considering the stances they take on my lifestyle (being queer, pro-choice, unwilling to get married or have children etc.) and I don’t like to pray or visit the church anymore, but I never want to call myself an atheist bc I still?? Kind of believe in some of the scripture I was taught growing up?? and mostly I won’t lie I feel lost without religion as a blanket. I think most of all I miss the community but that is fully blocked off from me now ever since I came out. I just…. I dunno. I wanted to talk to somebody about my crisis and to vent but I obviously don’t have anyone to do that with irl.

I’m really really sorry to be trauma dumping out of the blue btw but I just don’t know who I can realistically talk to and it’s been eating me up for a while now. More so bc of the season and being away from my family and from faith as a whole, and I really admire how open and forthcoming you are about your own experiences so wanted to do the same - if this is upsetting to you honestly don’t feel pressured to respond!! I just needed to get this off my chest. Also if nt already obvious this is Not an opportunity for Christians to proselytise, I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime

No, I get what you're saying. It took me awhile to even label myself as an atheist because I was still attached to Catholicism and my theistic beliefs for a long time. And there's times where I do miss the community and security that came with that and the answers religion could provide. The loneliness is tough to deal with but it’ll take time to pass as you find more like-minded people and move on to greener pastures.

It certainly does feel like the Church will somehow always have its grubby hands on you in some way forever and this seems like a common thing when I talk to other ex Catholics (though this could certainly apply to other denominations and cults). There's work to be done in terms of deconstructing what we were taught in the Church and the Church ultimately has no authority over you and who you are and the life you wish to build. It'll just take time.

You don't have to leave Christianity or religion entirely though. There's plenty of ex Catholics who join other, more progressive denominations of Christianity or they move on to other religions and spiritual practices. I came to the conclusion of atheism after reevaluating my faith and religion and chose to deconvert, but I respect that that isn't the choice that everyone will make.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this Anon, it's rough. I wish you the best.

[hillbillyoracle]

Some Thoughts on Why White Pagans Need to Heal Their Relationships with Christianity

Note: I've been trying to write a piece like this for months and the only way I know how to write this is to be very vulnerable and personal. So just please keep that in mind as you read this. It isn't very refined and it's something I'm still very much in process with, to borrow a phrase from my charismatic Christian upbringing. It's more a diary entry than a finished piece and none of these thoughts are original or eloquent. My hope it's helpful to see someone thinking through these things though.

If you're white and you don't want to further colonization and imperialism in your spirituality, then going back to Christianity in some form is pretty necessary; to do the work of decolonizing it's doctrines and to prevent taking from traditions that aren't ours.

This is just the conclusion I've arrived at after a lot shadow working in and around both my ancestors and my religious trauma. My ancestors aren't all white Europeans. But given that I'm white and I don't have any way to carry on the traditions of those that weren't, I feel like the best way to honor those non-white ancestors is to go back to the spiritual traditions I do have access to and doing the work of reshaping them into something less harmful.

I have read and intellectually understood that culture forms the foundation of spirituality and that when you remove something from it's originating culture, that concept or tool no longer works properly, if at all. In working with my non-white ancestors, I really got it on a practical and emotional level. There was this sense that they'd love for me to know their traditions but that it required an understanding that just isn't possible for me given my upbringing and disconnection - "you don't know the words and there's no way to find a person who can teach you" as one ancestor put it. It was an important reminder that "this isn't for white people" isn't merely a categorical assertion but a cultural and practical one.

They've generally asked I stick to practices I have a cultural grounding in when honoring them, even though it is not theirs - the cultural and linguistic element is that important to them. They would rather an authentic expression of gratitude and care through a ritual that isn't theirs rather than an imitation of one that is or being left out of my practice all together. Which makes sense to me in a relational way I hadn't fully grasped before.

In working with my white ancestors, I've come to more viscerally understand that the present understanding of Christianity is wildly different than other historical understandings. One thing that surprised me was that some of my more recent ancestors have expressed more discomfort around my queerness and transness than many of my older ancestors but both root their understanding in the Bible. I enjoyed one ancestor who, when I explained that I'm partnered with a woman, to mean that I would have a life of service - "no men to distract you from God" - which I mean is not wrong on several levels. It really highlighted for me that Christian doctrine is far more flexible than I'd initially thought. It challenged ideas I'd picked up through traumatic religious experiences. So much of what I'd assumed was Christianity itself seems to be more Christianity right now.

The historical angle is really important me. One of the things that drove my interest in Paganism was trying to understand what came before Christianity, to connect with whatever had been cut off in that process. The more I've come to learn about imperialism within Europe - how various empires conquered and destroyed localized traditions indigenous to parts of Europe - it clicked for me that my white ancestors did to others what had been done to them. It is intergenerational trauma in a nutshell.

It's also striking to me that so many people term the traditions pagans pull from as "dead" religions or at the very least "not living". For years I took that to mean they were "safe" to take from, that I wouldn't hurt anyone by doing so. But I hadn't really understood the weight of what "dead" meant - that there was no one left alive who could teach me, that I can't live in a context where all of the beliefs, tools, and traditions make intuitive sense. And if it was important to my ancestors who had had a connection to their traditions, then what was I missing by reanimating these traditions without that link?

I don't have a full visceral understanding of what I'm missing to be honest. I have a feeling that'll develop as my practice evolves. But that question alone has marked a pretty important change in how I understand myself spiritually.

The living and cultural element to my practice is more important to me now. For me, just given the family, community, and area I was raised in, that means Christianity is the living tradition I have access to and I've been revisiting it. I was reading an interview the other day with someone who is both a Catholic theologian and a practicing Buddhist. I liked the way he put it when he referred to Catholicism as "one of his sources of wisdom". That better captures my relationship with Christianity that's been unfolding over the last few months.

Making sure that intergenerational spiritual trauma stops as much as possible with me is really important. I had mistakenly thought that meant abandoning Christianity all together, that it was the problem. Which in hindsight, is fucking wild - I hugely fucked up there. There's nothing stopping me from just enacting the harm I learned in the context of Christianity in a different context, a Pagan context. It doesn't get to the root of the issue. At the end of the day, I just want to be sure I do not use my religion, any religion, to further the harms of structural inequality and colonial oppression. That's the goal.

In reading around about this, I've come to feel pretty strongly that one of the best ways to work toward that is to strive toward animism. Animism has been a great antidote to the spiritual entitlement that colonial religions cultivate (including white paganism). Animism also builds a relational spirituality rather than a goal/individual centered one. White paganism isn't inherently animistic since white culture teaches values that undermine quality relationships - individualism, competitiveness, and seeking domination of some fashion in order to feel safe. An animistic lens requires you unlearn those values and cultivate new ones - mutuality, respect, and accountability.

So all this is to say that given my current understanding, I think trying to build a practice out of New Age concepts while trying to avoid appropriation sounds impossible and hellish. I also think it doesn't deal with the work that needs done. I'm choosing to take an animist lens to the living traditions I do have to see if that's a better space for both my spirituality and my evolving understand of decolonizing to grow in.

People will rightly question my use of the term "shadow work" given this perspective. Shadow work is a problematic term for a lot of different reasons that are beyond the scope of this piece.  Where I'm at with it right now is that most western religious traditions seem to have some understanding of what we might call shadow work which points to it being important and useful. However they all used different terms given their contexts so I'm still unsure of what term might be the most appropriate given where I'm at. So for right now, you might see me use it less in the title or body of work I write from here on out, but I still might use it as a tag to make it findable. There's a good shot this doesn't go far enough and I'm not sold on this approach. Just know it's something I'm trying to figure out.

So that's where I'm at right now. I think white pagans really need to be more serious about animism at minimum and hopefully also looking at the role living religious traditions play in their current practice as well. I think white pagans' unhealed reactivity around Christianity too often serves as a justification for spiritual appropriation and furthering colonial harm. Changes are definitely needed. What that looks like in practice for individuals will likely vary a ton. I'd love to hear from other folks doing work in this vein. What's worked for you so far? What hasn't? Where are you in the process?

[theshedding]

Lil Nas X: Country Music, Christianity & Reclaiming HELL

I don’t typically bother myself to follow what Lil Nas X is doing from day to day, or even month to month but I do know that his “Old Town Road” hit became one of the biggest selling/streamed records in Country Music Business history (by a Black Country & Queer artist). “Black” is key because for 75+ years Country music has unsuspiciously evolved into a solidly White-identified genre (despite mixed and Indian & Black roots). Regrettably, Country music is also widely known for anti-black, misogynoir, reliably homophobic (Trans isn’t really a conversation yet), Christian and Hard Right sentiments on the political spectrum. Some other day I will venture into more; there is a whole analysis dying to be done on this exclusive practice in the music industry with its implications on ‘access’ to equity and opportunity for both Black/POC’s and Whites artists/songwriters alike. More commentary on this rigid homogeneous field is needed and how it prohibits certain talent(s) for the sake of perpetuating homogeneity (e.g. “social determinants” of diversity & viable artistic careers). I’ll refrain from discussing that fully here, though suffice it to say that for those reasons X’s “Old Town Road” was monumental and vindicating. 

As for Lil Nas X, I’m not particularly a big fan of his music; but I see him, what he’s doing, his impact on music + culture and I celebrate him using these moments to affirm his Black, Queer self, and lifting up others. Believe it or not, even in the 2020′s, being “out” in the music business is still a costly choice. As an artist it remains much easier to just “play straight”. And despite appearances, the business (particularly Country) has been dragged kicking and screaming into developing, promoting and advancing openly-affirming LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 artists in the board room or on-stage. Though things are ‘better’ we have not yet arrived at a place of equity or opportunity for queer artists; for the road of music biz history is littered with stunted careers, bodies and limitations on artists who had no option but to follow conventional ways, fail or never be heard of in the first place. With few exceptions, record labels, radio and press/media have successfully used fear, intimidation, innuendo and coercion to dilute, downplay or erase any hint of queer identity from its performers. This was true even for obvious talents like Little Richard.

(Note: I’m particularly speaking of artists in this regard, not so much the hairstylists, make-up artists, PA’s, etc.)

_____

Which is why...in regard to Lil Nas X, whether you like, hate or love his music, the young brother is a trailblazer. His very existence protests (at least) decades of inequity, oppression and erasure. X aptly critiques a Neo-Christian Fascist Heteropatriarchy; not just in American society but throughout the Music Business and with Black people. That is no small deal. His unapologetic outness holds a mirror up to Christianity at-large, as an institution, theology and practice. The problem is they just don’t like what they see in that mirror.

In actuality, “Call Me By Your Name”, Lil Nas X’s new video, is a twist on classic mythology and religious memes that are less reprehensible or vulgar than the Biblical narratives most of us grew up on vís-a-vís indoctrinating smiles of Sunday school teachers and family prior to the “age of reason”. Think about the narratives blithely describing Satan’s friendly wager with God regarding Job (42:1-6); the horrific “prophecies” in St. John’s Book of Revelation (i.e. skies will rain fire, angels will spit swords, mankind will be forced to retreat into caves for shelter, and we will be harassed by at least three terrifying dragons and beasts. Angels will sound seven trumpets of warning, and later on, seven plagues will be dumped on the world), or Jesus’s own clarifying words of violent intent in Matthew (re: “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” 10:34). Whether literal or metaphor, these age old stories pale in comparison to a three minute allegorical rap video. Conservatives: say what you will, I’m pretty confident X doesn’t take himself as seriously as “The true and living God” from the book of Job.

A little known fact as it is, people have debunked the story and evolution of Satan and already offered compelling research showing [he] is more of a literary device than an actual entity or “spirit” (Spoiler: In the Bible, Satan does not take shape as an actual “bad” person until the New Testament). In fact, modern Christianity’s impression of the “Devil” is shaped by conflating Hellenized mythology with a literary tradition rooted in Dante’s Inferno and accompanying spooks and superstitions going back thousands of years. Whether Catholic, Protestant, Mormon, Scientologist, Atheist or Agnostic, we’ve spent a lifetime with these predominant icons and clichés. (Resource: Prof. Bart D. Erhman, “Heaven & Hell”).

So Here’s THE PROBLEM: The current level of fear and outrage is: 

(1) Unjust, imposing and irrational. 

(2) Disproportionate when taken into account a lifetime of harmful Christian propaganda, anti-gay preaching and political advocacy.

(3) Historically inaccurate concerning the existence of “Hell” and who should be scared of going there. 

Think I’m overreacting? 

Examples: 

Institutionalized Homophobia (rhetoric + policy)

Anti-Gay Ministers In Life And Death: Bishop Eddie Long And Rev. Bernice King

Black, gay and Christian, Marylanders struggle with Conflicts

Harlem pastor: 'Obama has released the homo demons on the black man'

Joel Olsteen: Homosexuality is “Not God’s Best”

Bishop Brandon Porter: Gays “Perverted & Lost...The Church of God in Christ Convocation appears like a ‘coming out party’ for members of the gay community.”

Kim Burrell: “That perverted homosexual spirit is a spirit of delusion & confusion and has deceived many men & women, and it has caused a strain on the body of Christ”

Falwell Suggests Gays to Blame for 9-11 Attacks

Pope Francis Blames The Devil For Sexual Abuse By Catholic Church

Pope Francis: Gay People Not Welcome in Clergy

Pope Francis Blames The Devil For Sexual Abuse By Catholic Church

The Pope and Gay People: Nothing’s Changed

The Catholic church silently lobbied against a suicide prevention hotline in the US because it included LGBT resources

Mormon church prohibits Children of LGBT parents to be baptized

Catholic Charity Ends Adoptions Rather Than Place Kid With Same-Sex Couple

I Was a Religious Zealot That Hurt People-Coming Out as Gay: A Former Conversion Therapy Leader Is Apologizing to the LGBTQ Community

The above short list chronicles a consistent, literal, demonization of LGBTQ people, contempt for their gender presentation, objectification of their bodies/sexuality and a coordinated pollution of media and culture over the last 50+ years by clergy since integration and Civil Rights legislation. Basically terrorism. Popes, Bishops, Pastors, Evangelists, Politicians, Television hosts, US Presidents, Camp Leaders, Teachers, Singers & Entertainers, Coaches, Athletes and Christians of all types all around the world have confused and confounded these issues, suppressed dissent, and confidently lied about LGBT people-including fellow Queer Christians with impunity for generations (i.e. “thou shall not bear false witness against they neighbor” Ex. 23:1-3). Christian majority viewpoints about “laws” and “nature” have run the table in discussions about LGBTQ people in society-so much that we collectively must first consider their religious views in all discussions and the specter of Christian approval -at best or Christian condescension -at worst. That is Christian (and straight) privilege. People are tired of this undue deference to religious opinions. 

That is what is so deliciously bothersome about Lil Nas X being loud, proud and “in your face” about his sexuality. If for just a moment, he not only disrupts the American hetero-patriarchy but specifically the Black hetero-patriarchy, the so-called “Black Church Industrial Complex”, Neo-Christian Fascism and a mostly uneducated (and/or miseducated) public concerning Ancient Near East and European history, superstitions-and (by extension) White Supremacy. To round up: people are losing their minds because the victim decided to speak out against his victimizer. 

Additionally, on some level I believe people are mad at him being just twenty years old, out and FREE as a self-assured, affirming & affirmed QUEER Black male entertainer with money and fame in the PRIME of his life. We’ve never, or rarely, seen that before in a Black man in the music business and popular culture. But that’s just too bad for them. With my own eyes I’ve watched straight people, friends, Christians, enjoy their sexuality from their elementary youth to adolescence, up and through college and later marriages, often times independently of their spouses (repeatedly). Meanwhile Queer/Gay/SGL/LGBTQ people are expected to put their lives on hold while the ‘blessed’ straight people run around exploring premarital/post-marital/extra-marital sex, love and affection, unbound & un-convicted by their “sin” or God...only to proudly rebrand themselves later in life as a good, moral “wholesome Christian” via the ‘sacred’ institution of marriage with no questions asked. 

Inequality defined.

For Lil Nas X, everything about the society we've created for him in the last 100+ years (re: links above) has explicitly been designed for his life not to be his own. According to these and other Christians (see above), his identity is essentially supposed to be an endless rat fuck of internal confusion, suicide-ideation, depression, long-suffering, faux masculinity, heterosexism, groveling towards heaven, respectability politics, failed prayer and supplication to a heteronormative earthly and celestial hierarchy unbothered in affording LGBT people like him a healthy, sane human development. It’s almost as if the Conservative establishment (Black included) needs Lil Nas X to be like others before him: “private”, mysteriously single, suicidal, suspiciously straight or worse, dead of HIV/AIDS ...anything but driving down the street enjoying his youth as a Black Queer artist and man. So they mad about that?

Well those days are over.  

-Rogiérs is a writer, international recording artist, performer and indie label manager with 25+ years in the music industry. He also directs Black Nonbelievers of DC, a non-profit org affiliated with the AHA supporting Black skeptics, Atheists, Agnostics & Humanists. He holds a B.A. in Music Business & Mgmt and a M.A. in Global Entertainment & Music Business from Berklee College of Music and Berklee Valencia, Spain. www.FibbyMusic.net Twitter/IG: @Rogiers1