#until her heart gives out
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nessvn · 8 days ago
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I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABT RAYMONDE
#p.s.#la robe de laine#how she loses her agency the moment cernay sets his sights on her and only gets it back in death#raymonde!!! she accepts a proposal against her best instincts bc of pressure from her mother and from cernay.#from the moment she marries him she becomes his plaything almost#and it happens slowly but he literally consumes her in his desire to turn her into his perfect wife the perfect high society woman#which she goes along with out of love? obligation? but not out of her own desires#when he starts vouvoying her she's shocked and hurt but goes along with it bc it's what he's decided they should do#she goes to paris with him even though she expresses how frightened the idea makes her. 'à paris j'aurai peur...'#she lets him sculpt what should have been a tender intimate image of her#only for him to guilt her into letting him show off his artwork even after she begs him 'ne me livrez pas' bc she can't bear it being seen#she goes to his salons even though she hates them. and wears dresses that she feels naked and exposed in. all bc he demands it of her#and you can argue that she does have agency bc she lets him do these things to her but is it a choice if he's manipulating her?#and if she protests almost every time?#sometimes only non-verbally sure but through his narration we knowwww that he knows she doesn't want it and pushes her anyways#bc she's not a person to him she's a stupid little girl that he's doing a FAVOUR to by marrying and by putting her through these ordeals#and weirdly enough her death is the one part of their relationship that was entirely her choice.#'j'avais accepté pour ne plus t'être à charge...de mourir...ne le vois-tu pas ?'#although FUCK now that i'm thinking abt it even that was not actually her will.#bc she doesnt choose to die for his sake or for his freedom. she ACCEPTS that he's going to kill her for the sake of his freedom...#and it doesn't matter the method of the killing. he's the one rains violence after violence down on her soul#until her heart gives out#and her acceptance isn't really a choice.#idk like cernay hears the lord burleigh story and the 'elle avait désiré s'en aller pour me débarasser d'elle' and sees raymonde in it#but that's HIS perspective HIS justification HIS narration.#all we can say based on raymonde's words is that there was a time that she did not want to die#and even when she is dying this is something she at best 'accepts' not something she demanded.....#even cernay saying 'quel était ce mystérieux pacte qu'elle avait consenti une première fois...qu'elle renouvelait en actions de grâce...'#'pacte/consenti' that's his narration those are his words....#SORRY SORRY THIS BOOK MAKES ME INSANE.
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feroluce · 5 months ago
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SO LIKE. As much as I roll with the Emanator of Elation Sampo theory, I do have. Some doubts about this specific instance of it. Not that I think Boothill is lying, or that I think Sampo isn't an Emanator, but I wonder if the person Boothill actually met was Sampo.
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Just! Sampo is so careful. The only reason we even knew he wasn't of Belobog was due to a dialogue-dependent fourth wall-breaking dream sequence that no other character could have seen. It took a missable dream bubble in an out-of-the-way spot that was seemingly left only for the trailblazer at the very end of a side mission just to confirm him as a Masked Fool. Like it's not just the fact that Boothill mentions this person being an Emanator. It's that he knows they're also a Masked Fool, which is also something Sampo is incredibly dodgy about. Sparkle even seems to call him out on this in her party join line fjkdjaskldj
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((But also, Boothill, baby. WHY were you trying to get them drunk????))
And regardless of if you believe him when he calls himself an old timer, he obviously has a lot of experience in doing what he does. He knows what he's doing, he's good at it, and he is viciously capable and competent, unfortunately for his victims smhznskdn
So it just. Feels very unlike him, for him to let his guard down enough to not only let himself get drunk in front of Boothill-
a total stranger btw whom Sampo has absolutely no reason to trust, and a dangerous Galaxy Ranger to boot who has plenty of blood on his hands and a significant bounty on his head
-but to get SO drunk that he lets loose the secret that he's an Emanator.
When Boothill brings this up, he mentions that if Emanators were obvious and known at a glance, it would lead to atrocities. And for as much as Sampo is disliked by his victims (there's an entire anti-Sampo organization in Belobog JFDKLASJFDL), it's all for fraud. He's wanted by the IPC as an intergalactic thief. He scams people out of their money, and only rich people at that. That's mostly all that he's known for. Nothing he does is violent, even though Sampo surely has the capacity to inflict a lot of harm.
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And I don't mean that he's exactly a pacifist or anything; Firefly comments that Sampo seems like a highly skilled covert fighter. His voicelines make it sound like he enjoys combat- hell, his ult line makes him sound like a hitman. I like to hc him as being a pretty high ranker in the fighting rings at the World's End Tavern, like we see in the Simulated Universe occurrences.
But I don't think he would enjoy being the cause of uncontrollable violence and bloodshed.
Like yeah he's a dick who scams people on the regs for funsies, but he has lines he refuses to cross, which we see a lot of in how he interacts with Sparkle. More than just not enjoying it, I think he would hate it if he were found out and it caused an incident, especially since he seems so endeared to Belobog and her people now and it looks like he plans to return there. He wouldn't want to bring any of that back to them.
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So I just can't imagine him carelessly fucking up bad enough to out himself to a random stranger that could easily put a bullet right through his head.
Sparkle maybe could, though.
Because as we find out later the dreamscape had expanded FAR beyond what it seemed, far enough that the trailblazer had been dreaming since the warp jump in. Most people enter it unknowingly, and don't realize they're already dreaming when they think they're still awake. Boothill and Dan Heng should have already been dreaming during their exchange on the Express that started all this.
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And as long as someone knows they're dreaming, completely changing their appearance is easy, even for the common layman. We see this with a couple of NPCs and also Sparkle herself, with her (in)famous impression of Sampo.
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Thank youuuuu Sparkle
And yeah, the trailblazer and almost all of the other characters wouldn't know about the expansion until near the very end. None of them realized they were dreaming even outside of their dream pools, and surely none of them would think to be suspicious of another person's appearance outside of the dreamscape like that.
But Sparkle has a script from Silver Wolf.
She knew all the secrets of the dreamscape, and she knew them from the very beginning. There would have been nothing stopping her from appearing as Sampo in front of Boothill and spilling all his secrets.
And she apparently has a long-standing history with Sampo, including trying to get him in on her own much more fiery and aggressive version of Elation.
Maybe all Sampo needs is to be outed as an Emanator, and then when all the violence and bloodshed catches up to him, then he'll finally understand! ദ്ദി(。•̀ ,<)~✩
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bacchuschucklefuck · 7 months ago
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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luna-the-cretar · 4 months ago
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Idk why, but something about the party immediately thinking that, if anything happens to Gricko, Kremy and Gideon would be left to raise Hootsie, makes me incredibly happy for some reason. And the fact that Kremy was actually WORRIED about being good adoptive dads to Hootsie if anything actually did happen to Gricko (which, since Kremy wasn’t aware of the fact that Gricko was alive yet, was a genuine concern on his part).
And also Gideon taking one look at Twig and mentally adopting her (even if he doesn’t realize it). I mean, look at the way he treats her!!!! He gave her a piggyback ride for fucks sake!!! And he also cut a rabbit in half for trying to attack her when she was down!!!!
I just!!!! THEM!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!!
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quietwingsinthesky · 11 months ago
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do u guys think jack ever let members of the torchwood team fall asleep on him in the backseat. because i do.
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koalas-koalas-everywhere · 1 year ago
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One Piece #758 (vol. 76)
Hang on, I need a second... Usopp, who usually takes credit even for things he didn't do, who respects Luffy's good opinion so much that he credited his faith in his crew as the reason they kept fighting, that he agreed to work with a random, dangerous Warlord in a plan to take out an Emperor of the Sea just because Luffy complimented him, saying it doesn't matter if he never finds out that Usopp saved his life, as long as he's safe and can keep going...
Not that it's unprecedented for Usopp to do something like this - in fact, it's one of the first things we see him do. He also kept Kuro's invasion of his home village a secret. And maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I don't think it's completely irrelevant that Syrup Village's existence such as it was (a peaceful and carefree place that, if anything, could use someone like Usopp causing mischief to liven it up every once in a while) depended on the secrecy. Here he just thought, "I saved you, that's enough".
(Not to mention the comparison - this would be putting Luffy on the same level as his home village, the place he grew up in.)
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hood-ex · 8 months ago
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Gonna pull an Alfred tomorrow morning.
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Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #60
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haughttopics · 19 days ago
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finally watched happiest season and i totally understand why people hated the ending.
except for Jane. she deserves the world.
#like it’s not even about harper not being ready to come out#that’s totally her prerogative#but it doesn’t absolve her for how she treats people around her#first with riley holy fuck - and it’s implied she never even apologised to her in the years after???#with that ‘understanding’ they have towards the end#riley would have been completely within her rights to not accept that menial discussion as water under the bridge#but anyway the way harper also treats abby is downright cruel at times#the bit that got me the most was her gaslighting abby the morning after she was out all night#poor girl was just trying to make sure she wasn’t awfully hungover and gets accused of smothering her??? tf???#i really wanted harper to have something to redeem her but she just didn’t#a great moment for her would have been that chat outside the bar with her ex boyfriend#like she didn’t have to out herself entirely but she could have at least said something#she doesn’t make a single effort until it’s way too late and she got outed (like okay fair that was a horrible thing to happen to her)#but honestly i think abby should have still walked away after it#like ‘i’m happy you can be your true self now but for us it’s over’#abby definitely had far more chemistry with riley (stereotype yayaya idc)#but i don’t think they should have gotten together at the end necessarily#maybe just them deciding to keep in touch or something and THEN it happens later#like in that year forward or something - riley and abby are together and they run into harper who’s happy and moved on idk#ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT JANE#girlypop finally got her moment and i’m so glad they didn’t make out her book was awful just cause she was writing it for ten years#like we saw how good that painting was??#when girly puts her heart in something she’s all in#cause nobody was all in on her AND SHE DESERVES THE WORLD#honestly one of the few good characters and i’m glad she at least got a good ending#also also why you gonna cast aubrey plaza and barely give her any screen time#like pls make it make sense#haven’t gone off like that in tags for a hot minute™️#happiest season
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xbomboi · 8 months ago
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i know there’s a case to be made for daring suffering some character flanderization in his later appearances, but i like to think the break up with lizzie was just THAT bad.
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dairyfreenugget · 8 months ago
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(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)
Hey hey hey
May I interest you in
(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)
Teehee
#thylacines can talk#faaf au#i love this au very yummy. a very fun twist on how Flower's dynamic with their parents would progress afterwards#the vessels live but the void exits their bodies in quite a violent manner (extreme pain and literally throwing up an entire person worth of#void). Flower was on guard duty and theyre found barely conscious in a pool of rapidly evaporating void. passes out seconds later#PK also had the displeasure of experiencing extene pain and burning as void forced its way out through his skin <3 And his moulds all melted#and evaporated. after the initial shock wears off theyre hit with “Oh No#the vessel“ and rush to find them. Well somebody else was already looking for the royal pair about this#Flower wakes up dazed and in pain in their father's workshop. their stomach hurts their throat burns and they feel lightheaded. the entire#place is considerably brighter than they remember and in they can hear two faint voices in the background but theyre too preoccupied with#examining their now pure white hand in shock to focus on anything else. until they hear their mother say “My wyrm they're awake” and#suddenly their parents are by their side. Now the two have no idea what void leaving their body might have done to them. Are they still#hollow? are they still dead? do they understand anything are they sentient? or was what was done pernament even without the void? do they#have the mind of a child if their sentience was restored? or do they remember anything? So WL stays by their side and helps them sit up#while their father goes to grab his tools. She's trying to keep them calm and comfort them but theyre still too disoriented to pay her much#attention. Until their father checks their breathing and they yelp audibly from the cool metal contacting their skin and suddenly they seem#much more alert. theyve never experienced true coldness before. PK quickly apologises and tries to be gentler with them. Theyre breathing#properly and they have a heartbeat. And he just pauses for a long while just. listening to their heart beating. Many emotions to be had#after the exam's over he asks them point blank how theyre feeling. And Flower looks up at him still seeming a little disoriented. and then#they lower their hand to their stomach and mutter 'My tummy hurts...a-and my throat burns'. It's to be expected after the way the void#left their body. so he goes to grab them some water and meds and they also ask for food and a mirror. And after he returns they just stare#at themself in the mirror and pull on their bangs for a while then blurt out 'I have your eyes' when PK asks if everything's okay. And he#and he almost chokes up as he replies 'Yeah...Yeah you do'. Flower eventually spins a lie that they remember everything but its all distant#and blurry. Like they were not aware until now. They figured it'd be better to not break their hearts#And now the three have to figure out how to be a family while PK is also scrambling to find a new solution to the infection#oops i meant to only give a brief rundown in the tags which is why it was in the tags. but i got too invested KDHDKFB
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alchemania · 1 year ago
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Love Comes, Slowly. (Death Comes Faster.)
(Or, Furina falls ill, and Wanderer is confronted with the fact he cares a lot more than he realized.)
(He's got a name in this drabble too lads yippee!! He and Furina are close enough now he feels comfortable letting her call him by a name :] oh yeah and uh. This was not intended as shippy, if you were wondering, just to get that out of the way. It's platonic.)
“..ina. Furina!”
The white haired girl blinked owlishly, startled to attention. “Huh? What?”
“This is the third time I've called you,” Tetsuya frowned, eyebrows furrowed. “Are you daydreaming?” Furina flushed in answer, scratching the back of her neck.
“I've just been a little out of it today,” she muttered. That much was an understatement. She'd awaken with a fogginess in her head and a heaviness in her stomach that just hadn't gone away, and everything seemed to be processing twice as slowly, leaving her behind as the world kept moving. Was it always this warm, too??? Furina felt like she was baking, even for a place as warm as Sumeru, something felt off-
“Hey!”
Wanderer's hands grabbing her face snapped her to attention, and Furina instinctively leaned into them a little, comforted by how cool they were. In contrast, his pupils dilated a little - humans were always very warm in contrast to him, but Furina felt especially hot. “Are you sick?”
"I don't know…. maybe…?”
Tetsuya's eyes flashed with something unreadable, and he quickly took his companion by the hand, fear gripping his chest as much as he would deny it was there. “Well, we need to get you medical attention, then.”
“I'll be fine-”
“I know you will,” he asserted, “because we are GOING to get you looked at.” His tone left no room for arguments, and Furina stared at him hollowly before weakly nodding. She didn't understand why he was so vehement all of a sudden, but she didn't have much energy to be stubborn.
“Mkay…”
Tetsuya began to lead her through the city then, and she let herself be pulled along, slipping in and out of awareness as voices around her rose and fell like the tides. Very soon however, it was a struggle just to put one foot in front of the other, and Furina wobbled to a stop, a hand to her temple. Wanderer turned to her then, frowning. “What's wrong?”
“Tired,” she mumbled, barely able to keep her eyes open. “Achy, too…”
“We'll be to the clinic soon, just - we're going to get you some help,” he replied, and if she were fully coherent she'd notice his voice was slightly strained from barely concealed worry. “Come on. You can lean on me if you need to.” He seemed so far away, despite the fact he was right there, and Furina's legs buckled, too weak to support their owner's weight anymore. She crumpled to the ground, and Tetsuya froze, unable to move for a moment. And then the spell was broken, and he knelt by her side, frantic. “Furina!? Hey!! HEY!! Furina!!” With shaky hands, he took her pulse, relief flooding him when it came through strong and consistent.
It might not stay that way for long, though. You've seen this before.
Pushing that thought away, Tetsuya carefully wrapped one arm around Furina's back to support her and then scooped her up princess style - she was so small, and he noticed her cheeks were quite rosy, beads of sweat all over her brow.
..the fever's getting worse.
He had to hurry. He had to hurry.
Tetsuya swears he's never flown so fast before, everything whizzing by in a blur (and if his vision blurred for reasons other than his swiftness, no one needed to know). The moment he touches the ground again, he's racing towards one of the nurses, chest too hot and too cold all at once. “My friend collapsed,” (and it's startling, how easy it is now to call her that) “Help her. Please.” Furina was gently taken from his arms, and he lingered like a shadow as she was carefully placed in one of the beds, a cool cloth laid on her brow. “She gonna be alright?” Wanderer ventured, and his voice was so so small, expression more akin to someone centuries ago; someone who hadn't yet seen the depth of all the world's sorrows. One of the nurses turned and nodded, in reassurance.
“Her illness was caught early on, so she should be just fine. It's good you noticed quickly. She should be back to normal in a few days with rest, but you can spend the night if you'd like-”
“Absolutely.” He was not going to leave. No way in hell. Settling into a chair nearby, he tried to calm the storm in his chest, closing his eyes to clear his thoughts. The hours flew by, and eventually Wanderer sat up and gently shook Furina, to rouse her. “It's time for you to take your medicine. Come on.” Furina didn't move, and suddenly, he couldn't breathe, chills gripping him.
Oh.
Oh, god. God, please, no. Not again. Please, not again. He couldn't do this again.
“Hey,” Tetsuya called again, shaking the girl harder. “If this is a joke, it's not funny. You need to get up. They said you were going to get better, so you have to.” He'd made it in time this time, he'd - as soon as he could, he'd brought her here… so there was no reason that -
Tetsuya took Furina's hand, and to his horror, it was cold (like his) and limp. Just like - no, no no. This wasn't happening this could NOT be happening it couldn't!! “You can't just - leave me like this,” he managed, tears flooding his eyes. But she had. She had, and he didn't even get to say goodbye, and he couldn't breathe, sobs choking him. This time, he understood that death was a constant, that it would come and claim all humans eventually but-
...that didn't make it hurt any less, as much as he'd tried to deny it.
“Furina, come on, you're one of the only friends I have I - please don't leave me behind. Please - I'll do anything just wake up; wake up!”
I couldn't save you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
He can't stop crying. He's sprung a leak and he can't fix it and everything hurts so badly and a nurse is taking his hand and pulling him away and turning his face into her chest so he won't look, and he can't stop crying and he's begging her to do something, anything, but she can't. She knows that, and he knows it, too.
Furina was gone, and he couldn't do anything. No one could.
Tetsuya jolted awake, tears streaming down his cheeks, and gasped. Stars twinkled above, and he sat up after a split second of regaining his senses. It was a dream. It was just a dream. Then, Furina- getting up in a hurry, he raced to her side and shook her frantically, and to his immense relief, she stirred. Heterochromic eyes stared blankly at him, and she blinked sleepily. “Tetsuya…?? What - oogh!” He was squeezing her in a hug before she could process what was happening, tucking his head into her shoulder. “Oh….hey hey, it's okay,” Furina mumbled, patting his back weakly in reassurance. “M’just tired..why are you crying??”
“You're okay,” he barely managed, holding her like she'd disappear if he let go. “I had a dream and - no, it..it doesn't matter. It wasn't real. You're okay.” Wanderer's voice broke then, and he sobbed, relief overwhelming. “You can't leave me yet, okay? Not yet. Please. You're the best friend I ever had.”
“I'm going to get better, don't worry. They're taking good care of me here, and I'll be out in no time and - ….”
“What? What is it? What's wrong?”
“Nothing, just.. you said, I'm your friend-”
The young man froze, taken aback, and then eased up again, slowly nodding. “.. I did say that.”
“You mean it?”
“..Wouldn't say it if I didn't.”
Furina smiled, laying her head atop Wanderer's, and blue and white locks spilled into each other. “You're my friend too, yanno. Thank you for bringing me here when you did. I might be a lot worse off otherwise.”
“You don't have to thank me. I just - . . did what anybody would do.”
“Maybe, but I still want to thank you. Gotta make sure the people you love know they're appreciated.” Tetsuya stiffened at that, blinking rapidly. Oh god, she couldn't just - say things like that, he'd cry all over again and - he had to have misheard.
“You- …what?”
“You're my friend, and I love you,” Furina reasserted, and she said it so easily, like she was talking about the weather, like she was stating a fact of the world, and it shook him to his core.
“.. I - oh,” was all he could say, hot tears making their way down his face again. “Just. Just like that?”
“Just like that,” she nodded, and the tears fell faster. He loved her too, he realized - he wasn't quite sure the exact dimensions of it but he knew he cared for her as a friend would, wanted to stand by her side and defend her with everything he had. Still, it wasn't very easy to say that, so he hoped his actions spoke for themselves. She seemed to understand though, to his relief.
“..why?” Tetsuya finally ventured, because he did not understand. There were many things he did not understand, actually. What he did not expect was for her to answer his question with a question.
“Why not?”
“Why not? Because - …I mean, you've seen how I act.”
“Doesn't make you unlovable, yanno. You're prickly, yeah, but I mean. If love is conditional, it's not love at all. You care about me - the real me, and I care about you, flaws and all. And that's not gonna change. Okay?”
“...mm,” Wanderer managed, nodding once.
Just like that. Just because he was, he was cared for. Worldrocking, that.
They stayed like that for a long time, until one of the nurses came to take care of Furina, and soon after the girl fell asleep. Tetsuya watched how the nurse gently tucked her in and brushed her damp bangs out of her forehead, expression contemplative. Humans could be selfish, they could be deceptive, they could be cowardly - but they also cared about each other and they loved each other, too- and some of them had so, so much love to give, it was daunting. Here in one moment and gone the next but they loved so much and so deeply - and for a moment, he wondered if he could, too, love the world and everything in it or - most things. He didn't think so, but these days it did seem a little brighter than it had before. Maybe that was a sign he was changing, without realizing it.
He would think more about it later. For now, he simply held Furina's hand as she slept and leaned his head on the side of the bed, heart steady. They'd said she needed a few days to recuperate, and he would be here until then. She would be okay, she would be alright. There was nothing to fear anymore, and everything would be okay. He wasn't going to lose her - not for now, anyway.
..to love, and to be loved, was wonderful, he thought.
Maybe that was living.
..he could come to thrive in it.
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queengeni · 24 days ago
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Im watching the sunset scene for the 3rd time by now and almost crying
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garvalhaminho · 2 months ago
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i have to admit i think about mark blackthorn in "tales from the shadowhunter academy" at least once a week
#'helen julian livia tiberius drusilla octavian. and emma. you see? i have not forgotten. every night no matter what has happened during the#day no matter if i am torn and bloodied or so bone-tired i wish i were dead-#i look up at the stars and i give each star a brother's name or a sister's face. i will not sleep until i remember every one.#THE STARS WILL BURN OUT BEFORE I FORGET.'#'there is nothing wrong with ty but he is different and the clave hates all that is different.-#they will try to punish him for being who he is. THEY WOULD PUNISH A STAR FOR BURNING.'#'[tavvy] is so little. he won't remember dad or m- or his mother. he's the littlest thing. they let me hold his hand when he was born and-#his head fit into the palm of my hand. i can still feel his weight there even when i cannot grasp his name. i held him and i knew i had to-#support his head: that he was mine to support and protect. forever. oh but forever lasts such a short time in the mortal world.-#he will not remember me either. maybe drusilla will forget as well. i do not think so though.-#drusilla learns everything by heart and she has the sweetest heart of us all. i hope her memories of me stay sweet.'#'jules. my artist. my dreamer. hold him up to the light and he would shine a dozen different colors. all he cares about is his art and-#his emma. he will try to help helen of course but he is still so young. they are so young and so easily lost.'#'“helen julian livia tiberius octavian. and emma” mark whispered his voice low and revered. one simon recognized from the synagogue-#from the voices of mothers calling the children from all the times and places he had heard people call on what they held most sacred.'#“are you here to save me?”#i was unwell when i read that#i think about that quote so much#also also there's more#“i might as well be dead for all the good i am to my brothers and sisters.”#SOMEBODY SEDATE ME#honourable mention to simon's response: “'oh mark blackthorn what are they doing to you?' simon whispered.”#also “all that is good and true is lost.”#aaand#ok i am done now#have a nice day<3333#tales from the shadowhunter academy#tftsa#simon lewis#simon lovelace
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dirtytransmasc · 1 year ago
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self indulgent got concept.
Ned brings Jon home, Cat hates the boy, everything stays the same... until Robert Baratheon is charging through the halls of Winterfell looking for the babe, ready to butcher the poor thing where he lay helpless in his cradle.
in a matter of moments Catelyn learns three things:
The babe was never a bastard, Ned had only lied to her to protect Jon, and that she would die before she let Robert lay a finger on the babe she'd previously wished death upon.
cue Catelyn Stark snatching Jon from his cradle, holding him, protecting him, loving him as she would her own son, risking it all to keep him safe, all care for herself thrown to the wind.
like they say, what a mother's love holds no bounds, and what it makes her capable of had no limits.
#listen listen listen#I just want Catelyn to love Jon Snow and I don't care what I ahve to do to make it happen#(plus the angst is delicious)#I was rewatching old kids movies and ended up watching ice age and idk why but the mom sacrificing herself for her babe gave me ideas#I just imagine young Cat holding onto the boy she hated and wished death on for being bastard (only to find out he wasn't one) as tightly-#as she could. knowing Robert and his men were coming. knowing they would slaughter the boy in front of her. knwoing she'd wished for this-#and deciding she'd give her own life to protect him if thats what it came to.#and in my mind she jumped from the window of the nursery knowing the halls will be filled with the kings men and leave little chance for-#escape. before fleeing on injured legs to hide the babe and herself knowing Robert would be right behind her. she's in agony. but she'll-#going for the babes sake. she won't stop until her heart is dead in her chest. even if it hurts to move and breath and think he keeps going#maybe she takes a horse and flees wintefell all together. maybe she hides somewhere in/around the castle. maybe Robert catches her?#if she runs with him she'd have nothing but the clothes on her back. she'd have to feed him and keep him warm. she'd have left her own son-#behind. the potential angst and hurt/comfort as Cat misses her own son and learns to love another. feeding him and keeping him warm from-#her own body while she's injured and lost and at the will of the elements of the strange new place she now considered calling home#idk I just think it'd be an interesting concept#there's something about a mother and her child being cornered by 'wolves' (in this case a stag). this has the added spice of Cat and Jon's-#dynamic. just earlier that day she could barely look at him and now she's willing to die for him. the change happened in seconds.#that was a lot of ranting in the tags. oops. anyway...#catelyn stark#jon snow#I love putting these two in harrowing. life altering. and/or traumatic situations so they can finally just be mother and son#I live for the angsty family feels#got#game of thrones#asoiaf
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lumpsbumpsandwhumps · 1 year ago
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I forgot to mention this in my previous ask but what of they became lovers before he committed the murders will he still have killed people or not.
ah now I see
Probably, yeah. What led him to becoming a slasher was because he was accidentally killed in a fraternity hazing ritual (on top of weeks of cruel treatment in the house) and then had his death covered up by the school and everyone else involved.
Having a cute girlfriend wouldn't have changed his desire for bloodlust/revenge when he came back, although he would have started stalking her earlier because he knows he can't come back to her yet.
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cruelprincae · 1 year ago
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to be frank with you, this is the most bull thing I've ever read in my entire life.
#( 𝐈 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐝 ┊ out of character )#( tw: vent )#( PERSONALS DO NOT INTERACT. )#( would jude be the coldest of mothers? absolutely the woman has never known a tender touch and she parallels asha in many ways -#( - and her no 1 priority is elfhame but she would still move heaven and earth for her child like she does with oak. she cares#( and she loves. will it take a good while to warm up to the idea of a child and the child itself? yes. but it will not take from her love#( and until jude figures out her existential crisis the child will be absolutely ADORED by cardan. he will be the best dad#( hell he won't sleep until his baby is sleeping and even then he will stay up because “what if it needs something and i won't know?”#( he would give his heart and soul to his child to the point where the worst quality it will grow to have is to be absolutely SPOILED#( i mean the child will have some serious mummy issues but not to the point of “omg what will the world have to deal with” because#( cardan will be there to fill jude's absence and constantly tell the kid . like come on cardan came from a heavily neglected family do you#( oak is the way he is because he was raised by madoc who is a redcap and bloodthirsty & because he KNOWS his mother was murdered#( by his father because of him. it screwed him up. no amount of love by both jude and cardan can fix that so he shouldn't be compared#( also when they realised the closest thing they have to a son got kidnapped they “raised hell and earth to get him back” as per the synops#( so you don't get to tell me jurdan are awful parents. awful si the very last thing they'll be#( it's true not every couple needs to have a kid. but don't blame it to the parents because you as a reader hate the idea of it. grow up.
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