#<- she says after wanting to tear her heart out when he was about to abandon the Tontottas
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parkersgarage · 3 days ago
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a/n:I just be throwing words together and hit post y’all, I can’t even lie.
Sevika x gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned) 747 wc, little angsty but I wouldn’t cry to it (`_´)ゞ dialogue heavy as per usual!
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“Am I still allowed to say, ‘come back in one piece’” you ask quietly, watching her tighten miscellaneous screws on her arm.
Sevika doesn’t get it. Why you’re so suddenly quiet when before you wouldn’t stop yapping her ear off, or when she’d come home, you’d shout and cheer while waking up the whole damn block. But now it’s just quiet.
She hates it.
A look of disappointment crosses your face when you don’t receive any response. Your eyes have never looked so dull and lifeless before.
“I know you don’t like this,” she starts, staring at her hand. She couldn’t look at you. “I don’t either, but this is how I can keep you safe.” A hum is her only response; she takes it.
“Can you talk to me, please?” Sevika nearly bites her tongue at the plea, but you’re the most important thing in her life now and maybe forever. “I can’t read your mind, not as good as before.”
A shaky and deep sigh falls past your lips. With trembling fingers, your hand glides up her arms gently, slowly melding your body against hers. She takes you in just as tenderly, rough fingertips holding your waist while the cold metal of her hand reaches to your neck.
“It’s too much,” you confess, letting your head fall to her shoulder. You couldn’t let her see you. “All of this change, all the blood being spilled, your new employer.” Your voice gets rougher by the end, and Sevika’s heart churns at the anger in it.
Had she known how you would react to it, if she knew how bitter and angry you’d be about her joining the very force she used to fight against, would she still do it?
If she could take back joining, if she had just let it lie and die, could she?
“I’m–” the apology sits heavy on her tongue, waiting to spill out, but all that follows is silence. You wonder, did this new life mean Sevika couldn’t even talk to you?
She sighs, rubbing her forehead as you pull away from her. “I wish I didn’t have to do this just to keep you safe.” She murmured, her head cast low in an attempt to hide. “He told me as long as I work for him, not a single thing would touch your head, and that’s all I want.”
“Vika, we could’ve just left—”
“And where would you suggest we go?” She asks, cutting you off entirely. There’s a snap in her tone that doesn’t go unnoticed, one you couldn’t blame her for. Yet she sighs again, regret on her face– or rather, it was guilt.
“I get it.” You nod, sitting back– away from her. “I’m sorry.” Another sigh; it seems almost never-ending. The dissatisfaction, the hurt, everything. All because of one slight change. “I won’t complain anymore.”
“That’s not what I–” her sentence falls off her tongue when you get up. Just as you move to walk away, her fingers are quick to grasp your wrist lightly. “Don’t go.” She whispers, and shockingly, her eyes turn watery before casting downwards. “Please.”
You sink back down to your knees. Her hand still holds onto you, afraid you’ll walk away again. You can’t tell what’s going on in her head, what internal battle she’s going through, and how this change affects her.
“You should eat.” You say after a beat of silence. She only hums, ultimately leaving the thought behind as she lays her head against your chest. “You’ve had a long day, Vika.”
Her eyes shut as she focused on your beating heart. She felt bad for tuning out your voice, but this is what she needed. To hear that you were alive, that you weren’t lying lifeless in a ditch like she’d been threatened with hours ago by some goon who was less than her.
At the end of the night, after you’ve both eaten and settled for bed, she clings onto you tighter than she ever has. When she thinks you’ve fallen asleep, the tears that soak your shirt don’t go unnoticed by you. All you wished for was to turn around, wipe them from her face, and tell her it would be okay. But Sevika wouldn’t want that, at least– that’s what you thought. “I love you.” She says. It weighs you down, making you sink further and further into the pit you dug yourself into.
You wonder why it was only said when she thought you were sleeping.
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can yall tell I like writing semi-soft Sevika ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
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heegyukeluv · 7 hours ago
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complementary - the physics of your body [part 2] (sjy)
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pairing: brother's best friend!jake x afab!reader
synopsis: Jake loved physics as much as he loved you.
my's note: part 2 is here earlier than expected because i'm anxious 😀
warnings: trauma from parents, fluff, angst, drama/arguments, more physics stuff lol, pet names (babe, doll, good girl…), reader blushing/turning red!, reader have a bit of an explosive demeanor, SMUT - so minors DO NOT interact!, unprotected sex (don’t do it!!!), oral (f.), squirting, jk cum inside, overstimulation (f.), bathtub sex. lmk if i missed something!
wc: 13k
NOT PROOFREAD.
part 1
Saying you cried all night would be an understatement. Having feelings for Jake now felt like a bittersweet ache, hard to swallow and to have close to you. You couldn’t help but get into a spiral of darker thoughts.
Was it worth it?
Jake was in your mind throughout the entire night.
When you woke up the next morning, your eyes felt like they weighed a ton, and your body craved a rest you knew you couldn’t give it – not anytime soon, at least. Both physically and mentally, you were utterly drained.
You had spent part of the night wide awake, crying and torn between two nearly impossible choices: breaking things off with Jake or fighting to keep him. It was a strange, bitter feeling that sat heavily in the pit of your stomach. It didn’t dissolve with the tears or the long hours – it only lingered, raw and unresolved.
Jay ignored you on Saturday. And again on Sunday. You ignored Jake on Saturday. And again on Sunday.
Jake  assumed your sudden distance was due to your determined spirit, convinced you were throwing yourself into studying for your final exams. He didn’t want to disturb you and instead left sweet, encouraging messages to cheer you on without adding to your stress. But something in the way you responded – or rather, in the way you didn’t – planted a seed of doubt in his mind.
He called you and you dismissed.
The lump in your throat only heavening within each missed call and message left on read, realizing you could be hurting Jake as much as you were hurt.
You just didn’t know what to do, what to expect or where to run, because everything seemed wrong or difficult; Jay wasn’t there for you, and you couldn't reach Jake because he was the reason Jay wasn’t there for you.
Messy, confused, chaotic.
As the night settled quietly in your apartment, you opted not to leave your room. Your face swollen with heavy tears that spilled just like a waterfall. 
But then a sudden outburst of words being spoken loudly in your living room got your ears perked, your heart speeding it beats, your stomach knotting in despair as you made your way towards the noise.
“Where is she?”
“You’ll not see her.”
After feeling something was off, his instincts screamed for him to take action, so Jake immediately sped his car all the way to your apartment. He had his mind racing, spinning even, a dreadful feeling creeping inside his chest while each possible scenario played out in his head. But nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared him for what he found when he finally landed his eyes on you.
Your figure appeared in the doorway the very moment Jake asked about you, almost as if his words had summoned you, drawing you in like an unshakable spell. Under different circumstances, it might have been beautiful, poetic even. But not now. Not like this.
“Y/N! Oh, my God," Jake exclaimed, his wide eyes filling with a mixture of relief and alarm. He expertly sidestepped Jay’s attempt to block him, his focus zeroed in on you as though nothing else mattered.
You flinched as he closed the space between you, your fists clenched at your sides, trembling slightly as you let him pull you into his arms. His hold was firm but not overbearing, like he was trying to shield you from a world you desperately wanted to escape.
“What happened?” he asked, his voice gentle yet laced with urgency, concern dripping from every word. Then, without waiting for an answer, his gaze darted to Jay, his tone sharpening into something far more dangerous. “What the fuck happened?”
The question hung in the air, heavy and crackling with tension. The room felt suffocating, the silence a cruel prelude to whatever would come next.
Your body gave up. Jake's scent enveloped you like a mist, soothing and soft, allowing you to be your most raw version – the one in desperate need of refuge. The painful sobs tore through you, your body shaking against Jake’s chest as he tightened his hold protectively, as though he could physically keep your pain away.
“You two happened.”
Jake stiffened as Jay’s words cut through the atmosphere, your entire body shuddering, a pang in your chest leaving you breathless for a second. Jake’s head snapped towards his best friend, panic underlying his voice as he feared the worst.
“What?” 
Jay let out a bitter laugh, devoid of any humor. “She’s my sister, Jake,” he could have stopped just at that, it would be enough to make Jake's terror increase significantly. But he didn’t, he made sure that his every word was loud and clear. “My little sister! Did you even think for one second before–” He stopped, gulping while a hand ran through his blonde strands, eyes never wavering. “Before hooking up with her? I know about your fucking casual relationships, Jake.” 
Jake’s grip on you loosened just enough for him to take a step back, but his touch remained close, grounding. He opened his mouth to respond, but you beat him to it, your voice raw and trembling.
“It’s not just a casual–”
“Please, stop,” you whispered, your eyes brimming with fresh tears, fluttering close, and not really aiming for anyone in particular. “I can’t handle this right now.”
Jay’s expression faltered for a moment, realizing he might have gone too far. On the other hand, Jake looked at you, confused. 
“Please, go.” You sniffed, unwillingly pushing Jake away from you. He stumbled on his feet a little, offering you the most lost, baffled puppy eyes. You wished you had kept your eyes closed, the pain in your chest growing heavier each passing moment. “I– I appreciate you for coming, but… But just go, please.”
Guilt. You felt the guilt slowly and painfully eating away at you. Guilt for hurting the one person who cared most about you. Guilt for letting things unfold the way they did. Guilt for liking – loving – Jake.
You were torn between confronting Jay, your only family that remained by your side to fight for Jake, and letting Jake go, as a way to go back to how it was before.
There was no possible choice, everything felt like a fresh, open wound and the argument only put pressure on it.
“Alright.” Jake whispered, his eyes lowering until they rested on the floor. “I’m going, because you’re asking me to,” he nodded to himself, quickly taking a glance at Jay over his shoulder before approaching you; the phantom of his touch lingering on your fingers as he let go of your hand. “But I’m not leaving you, Y/N. Not now that I finally have you.”
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Jay had not spoken a word to you in a whole week.
He avoided the slightest interaction with you, going out of his way to ensure that your paths rarely crossed. Yet, every day, he still managed to prepare your full meals, leaving them meticulously arranged on the counter, as if to fulfill a silent duty. It was a strange contrast – his actions speaking of care, while his absence screamed louder than words ever could.
Jay would leave the house earlier than normal and return just in time to prevent having you under his line of sight, a perfectly calculated timing you wished to end soon.
The unspoken tension lingered in every corner of the house, a suffocating reminder of the fracture between you both.
He didn't strict your routine nor made you change your lifestyle, but it weighed just as hard. It somehow felt way worse than when your parents treated you back then, yelling harsh words alongside punishments to put you back on the line or regain control over your life.
Receiving the heaviness of your brother’s silence cut deeper than anything else, mainly because he was your only true family.
On the other hand, Jake was dealing with a double loss. It hurt to feel like losing his best friend, to watch his messages being ignored and having his calls go to voicemail, to be prohibited to step into his house under any circumstances.
But the idea of losing you definitely started to hurt way more.
In the middle of the week, you called him. Your voice was weak, almost fragile, and it made his heart squeeze in his chest.
“I aced my physics exam,” you said, barely above a whisper. “I wanted to thank you… for everything.”
“No way!” Jake exclaimed, his voice lighting up with a rush of pride and excitement as he hid himself in the company’s bathroom. A big smile tugged at the corner of his lips, the one he always wore when he was truly happy for you. You couldn’t see it, though. “I’m so proud of you, baby. I knew you would beat that exam's ass.”
That small interaction somehow felt like a bullet had lodged in his chest and he couldn’t run to the hospital to resolve it. It was almost robotic, far from utterly genuine, because there was a thick smoke of tension that suffocated his senses, that reminded him you were slipping through your fingers like grains of sand. God, he was your boyfriend! Not a random.
You giggled at his choice of words, a sweet, genuine sound that had not been present in days. The sound of your happiness made his heart shrink, as if it was both breaking and expanding at the same time. He wanted to hear more of it, wanted to make it last forever. The warmth in his chest turned into a wave of determination.
“Thanks to you, Jake,” you whispered, the words soft but carrying the weight of everything unspoken.
And without missing a beat, Jake was already planning his next move. “That’s it. I’m coming to pick you up.”
The certainty in his voice was unwavering. You tried to argue, to refuse, to come up with something to stop him, but he wasn’t having it.
“Your work–”
“I can leave early.”
“But it’s far–”
“I don’t care.”
He was already thinking of you and you only – of the way you deserved to be celebrated, of how he just wanted to hold you close, to kiss you. He missed you so fucking much it hurt, it painfully hurt.
“I’m picking you up,” he repeated, this time softer but no less sure.
“But–”
“Don’t even try to argue.”
You could hear him smiling through the phone, and it made your heart ache. Why did this feel so wrong, and yet so right at the same time?
“Wait for me, my angel. I’m on my way,” he finished, his words like a promise.
You felt your heart race, even if a part of you wanted to protest, to tell him that he didn’t need to go. But at that moment, you didn’t have the strength to stop him, so you waited. You waited for the man of your life.
Ever since, Jake began picking you up from your classes every single day. He would have his lunch with you and video call you during the night, singing a sweet lullaby until you fell asleep. He bought you a cake and kissed you deeply to celebrate your achievement, once again voicing out how proud he was.
You needed support, you needed someone that had your back, and Jake was your boyfriend, the one who should be giving you the comfort you deserved.
It was unbearable to watch you withering quietly and not having much to do other than offer some hugs and kisses, other than have his hands on yours, other than his caresses on your hair. 
However, as soon as you started to lit up again with your jokes and smiles, Jake realized it was worth it. His efforts were worth it, and he would keep doing a million things, a million times over, if it meant seeing you happy.
But there were days when you slipped back into the overwhelming sadness, due the silent reminder from Jay that his treatment of you had not changed – and maybe never would.
You couldn’t help but believe he felt betrayed, and you didn’t have the strength or courage to change his perception.
Deep down, you knew yourself well enough to understand that any confrontation would be ugly – because, beyond sadness, you also carried the weight of a quiet, lingering anger.
“He just needs time,” Jake said, offering you the same reassurance every damn day.
Two weeks have passed since Jay discovered your relationship with his best friend, but it felt like ages, painful ages, days that you had to drag yourself through it, finding perseverance in the depths of your soul to keep going, keep pushing through it.
And you don’t think you would be able to do it if it wasn't for Jake.
He was now hugging you, one hand kindly caressing your back, the other firmly holding yours. You had curled up against him in the car, your body trembling as you sobbed into his chest, trying to calm yourself by hearing his gentle breathing.
The sound of your sobs broke his heart. He knew you didn’t want to cry, but he also knew there was nothing he could say or do to make it stop. All he could do was hold you, let you pour out your emotions, and be there for you.
“I don't even know why I'm crying right now,” you said with a broken voice, burying your face deeper on the crook of his neck. “Shh, it’s okay,” Jake whispered softly, his voice low, the kind of soothing tone he knew you wanted to hear. “You don’t have to know. Just let go, my love.” And so you did. The pain, the confusion, the despair, the anger, everything weighing on you felt too much to bear, flowing away through your wrenching tears. “I don’t know what to do, Jake,” you mumbled between sobs, your voice shaky, “I never thought he’d be like this… It’s been so long. I never thought I’d lose him.” Jake’s grip on you tightened. He understood the intensity of your pain; he could see it in your eyes, feel it in your touch, in your words. He never felt this way before, like lingering on a thin string of losing his mind, feeling so, so useless. Jake wished he could erase all your pain and sorrow, or at least transfer it to him. 
On that very day, Jake made a quiet promise of never, ever, breaking your heart. 
“You won’t lose him,” he said gently, nuzzling his chin on the top of your head, the shampoo scent calming his nerves a little. He hoped to give you the same comfort. “You just need to give him time. He’ll come around, I know it.”
You let out a deep, fragile sigh, your shoulders trembling as you struggled to stop the tears streaming freely from your eyes, sobs echoing through the car softly as you stained Jake’s shirt. He seemed not to care, arms around you as though he could shield you from the gloom that slowly and painfully swallowed you, as though he could maintain you with him, forever. 
Jake held you as close as possible, as reassuring as possible, as grounding as possible; a comforting, sweet, gentle cocoon anchoring you, as his hands drew subtle circles on your back.
With a mild push, you pulled away from Jake embrace just enough to murmur, voice raw, shaking. 
“Sorry, I dampened your shirt.”
“I love you.”
Jake said, nearly at the same time.
On that very day, Jake made a loud promise of loving you unconditionally forever. 
The words tumbled out of his mouth, soft yet firm, as though they had been sitting on the tip of his tongue, waiting for the right moment. His voice carried a certainty that cut through the fog of your sorrow, the three words echoing louder than your sobs ever could.
You peered up with your glossy eyes, shooting Jake a flabbergasted glance that replaced your broken expression. His chest tightened, his heart nearly shattering at the sight of you, so brittle, so vulnerable, so utterly… destroyed.
Jake wanted to do more than just hold you. He wanted to wrap you in the warmest, coziest blanket and protect you from the world and all the pain it had inflicted. He wanted to whisper reassurances until his voice gave out, to erase every tear from your cheeks with gentle kisses, to love you so deeply that you would never feel this hollow again.
He wanted to shower you with love.
The same love he was sure he nurtured for you. The same love that had been haunting his entire being to voice out, suffocating, desperate to be born into the world you both shared. The same love he discovered he loved to feel. 
Jake loved to love you, because you made it easy to.
“What?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, your brows furrowing slightly.
“I love you. I don't know what to do in this situation, but I know I love you. And I think you should know too.”
You hesitated, mouth opening and closing repeatedly while no words came out, because you had nothing that equaled the sudden sweet burning sensation that spread inside your chest as you heard those pretty words. 
Love.
You didn’t remember loving someone as much as you loved Jake.
Over the past few days, Jake had made it increasingly difficult for your love to remain a mere whisper in the depths of your mind. He had proven himself deserving of your affection, your care, your attention – because he gave just as much, if not more, in return. He had broken through the protective barriers of your heart, the ones that kept strangers away; except Jake wasn’t a stranger anymore. Perhaps, deep down, he never was.
Beyond the chaos within you, the silent, yet deafening conflict of your situation with Jay, Jake had stirred a yearning inside you – a desperate urge to scream to the world that he was the love of your life.
It was an uncontrollable desire to say it out loud, to tell him you loved him the way a painter loves their muse, the way a musician treasures their draft, the way a photographer cherishes their landscapes.
It was a love that was raw, sincere, genuine – achingly so. And it was a love you were happy to know it was mutual.
Jake was the most gorgeous star, brightening your profoundly clouded sky. 
“Jake–” You finally managed to speak, not exactly aiming for anything other than just… Say something. But Jake interrupted you with a kiss. 
“You don't have to say it back.” He murmured, lips grazing on yours as he cupped your cheeks, gentle eyes tracing the lines of your mildly swollen face. You still looked stunning. He couldn’t help but sigh, a mix of adoration and longing in his gaze. “I know I caught you off guard. I'm not asking you to love me back right away.” He tilted his head, his eyes filled with an undeniable tenderness – love, devotion, and the kind of affection that made your heart ache. A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips, like he was fighting to keep it there. "Just know that I, Jaeyun, love you."
You bit your lower lip, but it didn’t do much to contain your wide grin. The tears, once drenched in sorrow, now filled with uncontrollable happiness, exploding in your chest just like fireworks. With a fear of missing the time, you shook your head still in disbelief, leaning in closer as you whispered.
“I love you too, Jake.”
And just like that, Jake had his lips working on your mouth deliberately, distant from what you normally did together. It seemed he wanted to take his time, heartfeltly exploring and appreciating the attachment of your lips together, as though he was memorizing the taste of you. And it was definitely different.
It tasted like love.
Your tongues swirled in a beautiful languid dance, a rhythm only you two could follow, the kind of connection that felt natural and right, like two halves of a whole, complementary.
Jake’s hands slid down to your nape and waist, pulling you closer, guiding you to sit on his lap where you could feel his warmth radiating into you.
There was no rush, no urgency. There was only raw, honest love between you two – pure and untainted. No distractions. No lust. Just the quiet, steady beat of two hearts that had found each other in a world full of noise.
Jake loved you. You loved Jake. And right at that moment, that was all that mattered.
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The car engine sound soothed the silence with a steady hum. The radio played some random song you didn’t bother to pay attention to, not when your head was wandering amidst the chaos happening there. 
Your life was a complete mess and your anxiety bubbling up, not knowing exactly what to expect from that weekend trip.
Yeah, trip.
Just two days ago, Sunghoon showed up at your doorstep holding bags of your favorite food and wearing a pitiful face. You didn’t understand the sudden hug, much less the following waterfall of “I’m sorry’s” he mumbled with a broken voice against your hair while pulling you closer.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know about you and Jake.”
You remember his words vividly, your confused state, your hands now knowing what to do or your brain not fully processing what he just said, because no one actually knew about you and Jake. But your memory made sure not to erase the following addon.
“I unintentionally snitched on you and him.”
Sunghoon stayed the whole night on the verge of crying – and you never saw that man with anything near to glossy eyes, so it seemed to be a real business for him – explaining what happened that night and how Jay found out about your hidden romance with his best friend.
His drunk ass – as he said – went back home way too earlier than both of you expected, and he could have turned a blind eye – ear, in that case – and said nothing if he knew the woman screaming Jake’s name in his bedroom was actually you, and not a random chick – his words.
So he absently texted Jay about it, thinking he was too high on his alcohol trip for hearing your voice screaming Jake’s name, teasing as he said “That would be crazy, right? That girl is really having a good time,” just to get under your brother’s skin as he always did.
However, for his misfortune – and yours –, it was you.
And Sunghoon even showed you the texts, where Jay replied with a brief, simple: “Well. Y/N went to Jake’s to study. Hah.” before turning off his phone and not receiving the next messages Sunghoon sent, trying to ease the situation.
At first you couldn’t help the bitter feeling on the back of your throat as you heard his side of the story, aware of his guilty part on it, nonetheless, to finally have a clarification of what led your relationship with Jay down to shambles was actually relieving, especially when Sunghoon said he had a plan to suggest Jay to go with them in a trip as a way to clear his mind, and then you and Jake would go as well without him knowing, and with everyone together – Heeseung too, since he was part of the friend group – it would be easier to face the problems and wrap it up with a happy ending or whatever.
Sunghoon reassured you that both he and Heeseung were on your side of the story; Jake was a good guy and they trusted him to make you happy. But Sunghoon also understood Jay’s position, since he had sisters, so he could try to help with that part as well.
Everything seemed perfect.
But it didn’t ease your comfort as you drove with Jake towards the destination, not even with his free hand holding yours and kissing the back of it gently every once and while. 
“Are you hungry, my love?”
Your sorrow facade slipped just a little by hearing Jake’s tender words and the cute pet name, still not used to it. 
“A little, yeah. But… I don’t think I can eat right now.”
Though you didn’t see, Jake nodded, knowing better than to try to pursue you out of your stubbornness. Now practically spending entire days with you, he mastered the art of knowing when to push you out of your shell and when not to. That moment you needed silence, comprehension and someone to be there for you just to make sure you were doing fine. 
You couldn’t be more glad for having a man like Jake in your life. 
And quietly, you both wished for that trip to change at least a bit of whatever was going on in Jay’s mind.
So when you both arrived – twenty minutes after the others – and Jake parked his car, you quickly spotted Jay’s blond hair amidst people in the hotel’s lobby. He wore a relaxed face, sitting on one of the couches and happily talking with his friends while they waited for you two.
The makeshift excuse Sunghoon and Heeseung told was that they were all waiting for other two friends they invited from college as well, even naming them as a way to ground the lie. 
Jay didn’t mind waiting for the said people, not at all. But he also didn’t hide his surprised and slightly disgusted face when he saw the actual two friends.
“I’m with you,” Jake muttered close to your ear, holding your hand tightly. “Always.”
You just nodded, feeling the weight on each step you took until you approached them, three pairs of eyes hovering over your presence. 
While Heeseung and Sunghoon happily greeted you both with big, genuine smiles, even hugging you briefly and muttering a quiet “It’s gonna be ok,” Jay, on the other hand, held an unreadable expression. 
“Hey,” you said back, voice coming in a small layered apprehension that didn’t go unnoticed by none of them.
Jay was fighting his inner demons not to cringe after watching you and Jake walking together, side by side like a normal couple, but it was hard when he knew how his friend regularly acted with girls he hooked-up with, how he loved to have a one night type of thing, never really committing. 
You deserved more than just a fleeting pleasant moment. 
They spent a life together as something similar to brothers long enough for Jay to be aware of the consequences of that relationship, the thoughts of you being hurt triggering the worst side of his protectiveness. And to think he would lose his best, closest friend because of that stupidity increased his emotions negatively – he felt betrayed, somehow picturing you both as selfishes who didn’t care about his side in the story.
Jay simply nodded at you both without saying a word, eyes flickering quickly towards your and Jake’s intertwined fingers, taking notice of it. You followed the motion and gulped, unconsciously squeezing your boyfriend’s hand. Jay then drifted his gaze to his friends, a dry laugh escaping his lips.
“Looks like lying to me has become everyone’s favorite pastime lately, hasn’t it?” 
“Come on, bro,” Heeseung shot back swiftly, not tolerating the way he changed behavior after you and Jake joined them. “You’re the one being an ass.”
“Am I?” Jay scoffed and pointed to himself, eyebrows raised skeptically. “I’m not the one fucking my best friend’s sister.”
The tension lingered in the air thickly, the silence immediate and edging the unbearable. You tried to ignore the people around you starting to take notice of the unfolding conversation between your brother and your friends. After all, the tension seemed to be rising and they were growing curious with the subject – your relationship.
Sunghoon was the first to notice the situation and your discomfort, especially as you quietly – and unconsciously – scooched to slightly hide behind Jake as a way to shield yourself from whatever could be thrown at you. At the same time, a spark of anger stirred in the depths of your soul, the same one you struggled to shove back down in order to protect your loved one’s from your possible explosion.
“Let’s not have this conversation here,” Sunghoon muttered and headed to finally make the check-in, the rest of you following him, each carrying their respectives luggages – Jake and you sharing just one that he insisted on holding, but you barely had time to proper acknowledged how hot he looked as he did so. 
The path to the rooms was silent, the tension thickening as all of you stepped into the elevator, avoiding eye contact with one another. Jake noticed your mad grimace – pursed lips, mildly furrowed brows – and positioned himself in front of you, facing you in order to shield any lingering stares Jay might dare to throw your way and to distract you with his puppy eyes that showered you with genuine affection. He gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch soft and tender, grounding you a little, even stealing you a small smile.
After going through a lot during your life with your parents, you had developed an explosive, even destructive, behavior that you struggled to restrain sometimes. It had become second nature to quietly bottle up every single detail of a stressful situation, letting it all pile up until the dam finally burst, and you ended up hurting the people you cared for.
You were terrified of losing it with Jay and consequently splattering on Jake and destabilizing the amazing, reliable relationship you just got in. That fear was precisely why you had been trying to act more reserved, more withdrawn. But Jay wasn’t making it easy for you – not even a little.
Not when he rolled his eyes in the childish way possible as he realized you and Jake were exchanging affection. Not when he was acting like an angry teenager that would prefer to ignore the problem instead of facing it. 
And that was why after leaving the elevator and before you could stop yourself, you let go of Jake’s hand, seizing the moment now that you were somewhere more private. It was still just the hotel corridor, but at least it wasn’t out in public. You turned to Jay and blurted it out.
“Why the fuck are you so mad for?” 
It was clear that Jay was taken aback by your sudden outburst, but you couldn’t care less. The tension in the air was thick as everyone froze in their tracks. Heeseung and Sunghoon exchanged confused glances, unsure of what to do next. Jay’s expression shifted from surprise to something darker as his eyes narrowed at you.
“Y/N, babe, wait–” Jake’s voice was soft, trying to calm you down, but the storm inside you was already raging. He moved to step closer, his hand hovering over your arm, but you pulled away, brushing him off.
“No,” you cut him off as sweetly as possible, raising a hand to stop him. You turned back to face your brother, your eyes flashing with a mix of anger and frustration. “So far, you’ve said whatever came to your mind, now it’s my turn.” 
Your voice dropped to a dangerous low, thick with underlying fury, no one daring to say a word.
“I really don’t get why you’re so mad about me being happy. You always talked about how much you wanted me to find the happiness I deserve, but now that I have it, you act like a damn child!”
Jay’s features sharpened as he clenched his jaw, eyes piercing through you. However, he kept his tone calm, he didn’t raise his voice, never. Not at you.
“Jake is not the happiness you deserve.”
“Woah, hold on…” Jake tilted his head, visibly stunned by Jay’s attack. He looked between you and Jay, trying to process the sudden shift in the conversation. His brows furrowed in confusion, a slight frown tugging at his lips. “Why are you saying this?”
You tried to ignore Jake for a while, really tried. But it was extremely difficult as you took notice of his hurted tone, which triggered even harder your ongoing feelings.
“How the hell do you know that? How can you even say that if you’re not the one in a relationship with him?” Your voice was louder now, sharp, and you felt the heat rise in your chest. Your eyes burned, threatening to spill over with tears, but you refused to let them fall. Not yet.
Jay hesitated for a second, his eyes shifting as if measuring his words carefully, but the frustration in his eyes was evident. He took a deep breath before continuing, his voice quieter now but no less intense.
“I know Jake. I’ve known him long enough to know he could just… leave you.” The words were like a knife, and you flinched.
“I would never–” Jake immediately protested, stepping forward once again, but Jay ignored him, continuing.
“And I don’t want to see my sister get her heart broken by my best friend,” Jay’s voice cracked slightly at the last part, as if he himself didn’t want to believe the possibility, but the fear still lingered in his words.
“Jay–” You started just for him to cut you off, the urgency in his voice building.
“Did you ever even think about my feelings in all of this before it happened?” His eyes were wide now, almost pleading. “No, you didn’t. And now you’re dragging me into something I never asked for.”
“No–” you shot back, voice rising, but before you could say more, Jay’s words came thickly again.
“Did you ever stop to think about what I’d have to deal with the outcome of this shit? To lose my best friend and see my sister broken because of some stupid choice.”
His hands were clenched at his sides, his jaw tense. The more he spoke, the more his control slipped, and you could see the anger building in him, mixed with a deep sense of hurt.
You took a deep breath, like a gasp, holding it in for a moment, before speaking slowly, your voice softening just a little. You were finally walking beside Jay’s line of thought. So that was the reason?
“And why would that be the only possible outcome? Why do you doubt Jake so much?” You paused, blinking back the sting behind your eyes. “He’s sweet. Always so, so sweet and gentle. He cares for me. He loves me, and I love him too.”
As you spoke about Jake, the walls around you lowered just enough to let the raw honesty out. You felt his presence close at your back, his hands resting on your waist lovingly, managing to somewhat anchor you – your heart fluttered, your nerves soothing ever so slightly.
For a split second, you saw Jay’s expression falter. He wasn’t ready for your vulnerability nor your genuine feelings to come out. You could see it in his eyes – the battle between his protectiveness and the fleeting need to understand your and your point of view.
“I did think about you when I accepted Jake’s dating proposal,” you continued, voice growing quieter, but firm. “And I was scared you’d react exactly like this.”
Jay’s mouth opened as if he was going to argue, but the words died on his tongue. For the first time, you saw him hesitate, truly unsure of what to say next. 
His eyes flickered towards Jake, who held an expectant, yet determined expression. He knew Jake wasn’t going to give up so easily, and it was impossible not to see you actually liked, loved each other. WJake positioned himself behind you, close, protective, and somehow loosed Jay’s demeanor, the weight on his shoulders dropping, maybe for realizing his best friend could give you the protection and the love you deserved – the one he was in charge of until now. 
Jay struggled to gulp down his stubbornness; it was his most characteristic feature. However, on the other side of the argument was you, the little sister – now a woman – he cared for and would move mountains for if necessary. 
Would Jake be able to do the same?
“I’m sorry.” He muttered, quiet, eyes lowering to the floor. “I’m so sorry,” he sighed, feeling his cheeks burning in embarrassment. 
You couldn’t hold back your surprised face, not when you expected the conversation to unfold in many possibilities where you would gladly, relentlessly counter each and every argument until you overtired him with your own stubbornness. 
“I– I was stupid. I only thought about myself, and… I mean, you seemed so happy before I found out about you two. I guess that was… because of you, Jake.”
The tears you had been holding back finally spilled over, trailing down your cheeks as you stepped closer to your brother, wrapping your arms around him in a warm, comforting hug. He didn’t hesitate to return it, pulling you firmly against his chest.
“I really care about you, kiddo,” he murmured softly into your hair, his voice tinged with both regret and affection.
You let out a small, breathy laugh, sniffing as you tried to compose yourself. “I know,” you replied, pulling back slightly to look at him. “And I’m glad you do. But now…”
Turning your head, you glanced at Jake over your shoulder – a genuine smile curved his plump lips, radiating relief and happiness. His eyes shone with pure joy, watching the two people he cherished most finally reconcile. For the first time in a while, he looked truly content and not laced with condren.
“I have him caring about me too.”
Jake took the moment to approach you both, intertwining his fingers with yours as you stepped away from your brother. He brought your hand to kiss the back of it sweetly before voicing out. 
“I’ll make her really happy.”
“You better do,” Jay nodded, a small chuckle escaping him. “Just don't… screw this over, Jake. I'm serious,” the subtle change in his tone got you rolling your eyes playfully. 
“I won't,” Jake promptly shot back.
“If you ever break her heart, I'll hunt you down to hell to kill you,” Jay added within a warning voice and Sunghoon, who had been silently observing the exchange, burst out laughing.
“I second that, by the way,” Heeseung chimed in with a smirk and shrugged. 
“No need to worry. If I ever break her heart, I'll kill mys–”
“Shut up.” You cut him off, wrapping your arms around his waist and planting a soft kiss on his cheek, your smile not faltering a bit as the rush of euphoria started to run in your veins.
Jay groaned, shooting the two of you a disgusted look before rubbing his temples as if trying to massage away the stress. It was clear he was struggling to get along with the bitter realization: his little sister, the one he had always felt an overwhelming need to protect, was now sharing intimate affection with his best friend – the very same best friend he knew far too much about, including his past escapades with commitment and… other things.
“And for the love of God,” Jay added with an exasperated sigh. “Do not… Do anything under my roof.”
“Yes, sir,” Jake quipped with a grin, earning another groan from Jay.
You couldn’t hold back your laughter, contentment filling your heart in the most endearing way. Things have been settled in the best way possible.
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"Now that we have a room to ourselves…" Jake murmured with a mischievous smirk, wrapping his arms around you from behind, pulling you closer. His lips brushed against the back of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. "And you’ve aced your physics exam…" His breath was warm against your skin, teasing the back of your ear. “And everything is set fine again…”
"And my brother is not overreacting just because I’m sucking your dick…" You couldn’t help but say it out loud within a smirk, relieved.
Jake’s eyes widened in shock, then he gasped, his hands tightening around you to pull you even closer. He laughed.
"That’s... one way of saying it, yeah." He squinted playfully, a smirk still tugging at his lips, the same lips that now pressed soft kisses on your sensitive skin, making you squirm a bit within an unfading smile dancing on your lips. You were really happy. "I’ll take it."
The following atmosphere was full of warmth and ease and for a moment you just stayed there, in the quiet calm of Jake’s arms, enjoying the simple reality of being together, just a quiet love that felt endless.
It took just a second for you to feel something poking you from behind. You hummed.
“Now I understand why you were so excited to get to our room, baby,” you purred, leaning back onto his chest and swinging your hips a little, just to friction Jake’s growing boner. His answer was immediate; a soft moan traveling its way to your ear.
“What?” He feigned innocence, pulling you closer and helping you to move your ass straight on his hardening, his chin resting on your shoulder.
“Quit the act, pretty boy,” you scoffed playfully as you tilted your head back to meet his gaze, a smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. “You're not fooling anyone.”
You met Jake with hooded eyes that locked with your lips for a while before going back up to glaze your orbs, his tempting tongue wetting those beautiful lips you loved to kiss and feel on your skin before he turned you to fully face him, his hands on your hips firm, steady as he pushed you slightly behind until you felt the back of your knees meeting the soft end of the bed. 
In any moment you broke eye contact, nor words were being said while the atmosphere shifted under the soothing realization you could be completely free – with your noises, with your needs, with your relationship. 
You smiled, pulling Jake by his shirt so he could fall on the mattress with you; his lips searched for yours immediately, crashing together into a delightful dance of tongues and mouths, starving each other with a longing of years. You would never get enough of your boyfriend and it felt so good to know the feeling was mutual.
His hands wandered to where you craved his touch most; Jake had become an expert at reading your body, knowing exactly what made you shiver with delight, what brought you to that edge of the pleasant bliss you loved navigating together. But there was a specific subject unspokenly lingering in the air that made him try to move back and bring it to words. 
“You promised me something,” Jake mumbled against your mouth, but you didn’t give much care as you moved further up on the bed, your hands clutching on his neck to pull him with you, lips never parting. “Babe, your pussy–”
You smirked and teasingly shut him up with another torrid kiss, sucking and biting his bottom lip, eliciting a groan that made your cunt pulse and clench around nothing. The grip on your hips tightened and Jake finally parted the kiss, panting a little, his eyes gleaming with lust.
“Babe, you promised,” Jake protested with a whining voice and you couldn’t hold back your laughter, your eyes loaded with love, affection and burning desire drinking from his already messy features.
Jake’s hair was disheveled, a courtesy of your hands that would always tangle it, tugging and playing not only due to its silkiness, but mostly because Jake would moan beautifully into your mouth whenever you pulled a bit stronger, sending jolts of ecstasy through you. 
He had a sweet voice, and his noises sounded even sweeter; as crazy as it sounds, sometimes you wished to sip Jake until he was empty.  
“You’re so cute when you’re asking for my pussy, baby. How do you manage to do that?”
Jake leaned into the touch of your hand cupping his face gently, caressing his reddened and parted lips. His cheeks had a faint flush, half-opened eyes showering you with expectation, dilated pupils pleading, flickering slowly through your face.
“Please, I really need it,” Jake sounded urgent, his breath hitching as he pressed you on the bed with his body weight.
He was quick to dodge your attempt to kiss him again, taunting the wicked game you were building. His tongue traced the curve of your neck, and his lips followed with deliberate, tantalizing kisses – a striking contrast to his current raw desperate state. “Please…” he murmured, the plea thick with longing.
He was trying to nudge you out of your deviousness using your weakness, however, he wasn’t faking at all. Jake was genuinely desperate. “Oh? So it’s a need now? Not just a want?” You teased, your voice dripping with mischief as your eyes fluttered closed.
A sigh followed by a moan escaped you, your body instinctively arching forward as a wave of contentment rippled through your core. Yet Jake kept you firmly in place, pressing you into the mattress with precision, his grip restraining your movements just enough to leave you yearning for more.
“I need and I want, please…” He whispered against your earlobe before nibbling it; you felt his hand sneaking into your shirt nearly at the same time, his fingertips softly brushing your side, making you contract your stomach and try to squirm, but again, Jake was holding you strongly against the bed. “Mhm? Please?” He begged once more within a small, weak breath.
Being so close to your boyfriend always made you thrilled and also loosened. He presented you with the possibility of being yourself freely, a safe haven you didn’t know you needed. The trust you had with Jake was beyond imagination, it was with your entire being among every possible nuance of the wording; there was something about how he managed to always spark an interest of an ongoing desire that fueled your will to keep him near, physically and emotionally.
So when he offered you the prettiest hooded eyes, glistening with the plea he showed through every pore of his, you couldn’t really control the thrum of your heartbeat echoing louder and louder in your eardrums, nor your breath catching in your throat as you felt yourself swoon under Jake’s intense and eager gaze, the need of something he never actually had a taste burning in those pretty two brown orbs. 
Every inch of your skin tingled in anticipation, after all you admittedly – not out loud – longed to feel Jake’s head buried between your legs as much as him. Just with how he managed to kiss you, mouth and tongue working precisely, skilfully on yours had your toes curling, yearning to feel all of that on your cunt. 
“Don’t go quiet on me,” Jake murmured with a pout, one that vanished in seconds as the corner of his lips curled into a smirk. “Not when I wanna hear you screaming my name,” he quietly softened the weight of his body onto yours, giving you the room to move. Your legs instinctively opened. Jake noticed. “Just give me the word, baby.”
Your eyes fluttered close when you felt Jake lowering his kisses to your clavicle and so on, a moan slipping out of your mouth when he twirled his tongue on your hardened still covered nipple, sucking and motioning something you were sure he would be doing in your clit in a few. You just needed to… Allow it. 
“Give me the word and I’ll make you feel so good…” He whispered. Once more, you felt yourself pulsing, your panties with a pool of arousal at that point. “Mhm? Please? You deserve to feel good, baby.”
He glanced up at you, giving you more of what you would experience after you said yes; the eyes looking up, the mouth deliberately and masterfully doing its job of pleasuring you, the hands holding you still.
Your whole body ignited with fervent flames, bursting with desire and an anxious longing to feel everything Jake had silently promised you until that moment. Driven by the maddening need to have him, you finally spoke, with a voice you couldn’t quite properly find as you lost yourself in your imagination.
“Yes, Jake. You can eat me out.”
Jake let out a small groan of contentment, his smile wide and radiant as he positioned himself in between your parted legs and began to remove your jeans with your help. 
“That’s how I like it,” he murmured, biting his lip to hold back the surge of excitement and impatience building inside him. But the hunger to taste your pussy of you had been building for far too long to slow down now. “Good girl.”
There was no doubt Jake would make you feel good, nevertheless you found yourself unable to untense completely under the hot touches he was leaving in your skin as he undressed your bottoms; you felt awkward, especially because it was the official first time Jake was seeing you in such a position. He had fingered you and fucked you countless times, but it was the first time his face got that close to your cunt and you started to worry. To disappoint him after you had so carefully nurtured his hopes with that fleeting promise seemed unbearable.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, your hands grabbing the sheets underneath you as you breathed heavy. Jake noticed your change of demeanor right away and soothed your skin kindly with his palms.  
“Relax, my love. Why are you so tense, mhm?” The question was followed by a tender kiss on your knee and a gentle caress on your other leg. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t know, honestly,” you chuckled nervously, avoiding your boyfriend’s eyes that were trying to read your anxious expression. You were being serious about your lack of knowledge of what exactly triggered your sudden reaction. “I’m afraid of disappointing you, I guess. Does that make sense?”
“No,” Jake was quick to shoot back, a sigh of admiration slipping from his plush lips for finally seeing your cunt revealed before his hungry eyes. Beautiful, he could feel his mouth watering. “You can’t disappoint me, sweet girl.”
“What if I cum too fast?” You asked without giving time to Jake to answer, and he skeptically quirked a brow at you. Did he hear it right? “What if I taste bad? What if you don’t like the feel of it? Or the look of it? What if my smell isn’t that good? What if–” 
You fell silent as you felt Jake’s warm muscle licking your folds, the heat of his touch sending shivers through your heated body, legs trying to close instinctively and your eyes growing wide as you realized he just… Went for it. And he was good.
Just after the long lick, Jake sucked your clit and groaned, as if the pleasure was his, not only yours. He didn’t part the connection, though, continuing to play with your clit and your pussy in random patterns using his tongue and lips, as if he was studying which one you enjoyed the most by the way your moans sounded. 
“J–Jak–Mhm…” A soft murmur mingled with a whimper interrupted whatever you were about to say – and you couldn’t even remember as you drifted your gaze down to catch the sight of Jake’s furrowed brows, deep in concentration and desire as he lost himself in you. 
You brushed away the hair sticking on his lightly sweaty forehead, watching how delighted he seemed to be eating you out; you heard the lewd sounds of slurping and soft smacks imitating a kiss and you deduced he was simply making out with your pussy.
As regular as it was, your fingers tangled into his brown locks, this time urging him closer, pulling him down to you as the longing for more consumed your chest. 
Jake was drunk – and loving each second. Mind blurry, only your pussy and the sweet scent and taste of it occupying the haze inside his brain as he got motivated by the pretty noises you allowed to escape your lips.
He dived into you with fervor, with love. God, he dreamed for too long to waste time with foreplays or whatever, especially when you were that wet already. He could die in between your legs and he would thank you for that. 
The way your breath hitched when he went a bit further and tested to poke your pulsing hole with the tip of his tongue got his eyes glancing up to catch your contorted expression, mouth agape, head throwing back into the pillow. He moaned when you rolled your hips forward, rubbing your pussy on his face just how he wanted to. 
“You’re so fucking good,” you managed to breathe out, your voice shaking between delicate moans.
Jake’s tongue lapped over and over your now dripping pussy, drinking from your juice as if it was his favorite. After cautious inspection, he understood what made you clench shamelessly and was now openly making out with your clit, even so often tongue fucking you within an impressive skill; he also positioned both your legs on his shoulder as way to ease his and your comfort.
The way your body squirmed under his firm grip on your thighs was a feeling Jake wished never to forget, especially how you unconsciously tried to press your legs together, as if it could shield you from the intensity of his touch, though you knew deep down it was futile. 
Jake was addicted to every aspect about you. If he allowed himself a moment of reflection, he might feel a flicker of embarrassment over just how intensely you got him wrapped around your finger.
Your smiles, paired with your playful banter, sent a whirlwind of emotions through his chest, a constant reminder of how effortlessly you matched his provocations with your own sharp wit. Your determination, laced with a stubborn edge, stirred a deep sense of pride within him, filling his heart with admiration for your strength. And your body… it was a masterpiece in his eyes. Every curve, every line felt tailor-made for his hands, his touch, his need to hold you close and never let go.
And now you had permitted him to taste the part he cherished the most in terms of sex. 
Jake didn’t care about how cringe, loser-like or shameful could sound to others, but eating girls out was everything he needed to feel fulfilled when in bed, and now, if the said girl was you, his perfect girlfriend…
“I love you so much,” you heard Jake mumble against your cunt, the slurred words vibrating against your clit brought you back from the lustful fog your mind drew into only to send you back again, a journey you would gladly revisit again whenever possible.
The knot on your lower stomach tightening had your toes curling as you tugged Jake’s hair harder, eliciting a soft moan out of his mouth that got lost in between your wet arousal.
“Mhm, F–Fuck Jake– I’m–”
“Close?” He murmured, though he didn’t expect you to answer. 
Jake was way lost into his own pleasure of satisfying you to think of anything other than your release coating his tongue, and he started to shamelessly, yet slowly rut his hip against the bed as your moans increased, your legs around his shoulder pressing tighter.
“I wan’ you to come all over my face and mouth, doll.” 
The blend of his words and how he started to shake his head to rub the tip of his nose on your clit while lapping your clenching hole got you screaming his name, the waves of shock running through your body within trembles as you had your orgasm. Whimpers and cries would be everything filling the room if it wasn't from Jake slurping noises getting constant with him swallowing every single drop of your climax, driving you through your high.
His big hands held you steady as he finished the job of cleaning you with his tongue, your sensitive bundle of nerves getting brief brushes that got you squirming. Jake then placed a sweet kiss on your clit, diverging from the intensity of the touches seconds ago before he pulled away, leaving you breathless and shaky, but utterly satisfied, with a dumb smile gracing your lips.
Your hooded eyes blinked slowly, tiredly as you panted for air, your whole body relaxed as if you were on the clouds. However, you captured the view of Jake undressing himself even with your slightly blurred vision; his chin and his nose were glistening with his spit and your cum, and when you finally noticed the hardened bulge hidden behind his underwear, you gulped, feeling your body heating up again before that pretty, lascivious sight.
Opposite to what you thought, Jake propped himself near to you, out of the bed still, with a cute smile, endearingly watching you regaining your senses. You didn’t catch the flicker of mischief the puppy eyes showed briefly, though.
“Babe, how about we take a shower, mhm?,” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. With a gentle stroke on your hair, he added. “I think we have a bathtub here, we can take a bath.”
A smirk danced on the corner of your lips as you sat with Jake’s help, your fingers tracing the shape of his covered dick. “But what about you, pretty boy?” 
You watched Jake biting his lip, a habit you loved that made both your heart flutter and your cunt pulse. You were getting worked up again. 
“We can take care of it there, can’t we?” 
His gaze darkened out of the softness he was offering you when you nodded, pulling you to stand up and removing your shirt. Jake’s eyes lingered a bit longer on your now exposed breasts and you felt shy under the intensity of it, so you just leaned forward to cut the staring with a kiss. 
The same kiss that had Jake holding you by the waist and you finding support on his shoulders. The same kiss that Jake used to quietly guide you towards the bathroom. The same kiss that left you breathless as you parted away with a content smile followed by a chuckle because Jake’s fingertips brushed your ribs in a teasing way. 
“Oh, we have to fill it up, though…” You pouted when noticing that the said bathtub was completely empty. 
Once again, you failed to realize Jake had a secret plan by the way his eyes twinkled with wicked intentions, especially because he positioned himself behind you.
“Babe…” His voice dropped an octave when he murmured against your ear, the feeling of his hot body pressing on your back together with his covered cock frictioning against your bare ass got your pussy starting to be wet again. 
“Mhm?” You answered softly, hands covering Jake’s that were now on your boobs, softly massaging 
“Do you trust me?”
The question was simple, the answer even simpler. And yet you found yourself hesitating, a flicker of uncertainty threatening to spark – a fleeting fear of what might unfold. But then, you remembered: it was Jake. Your Jake. The man who had dived headfirst into all your wildest adventures without hesitation, who would never dream of hurting you.
The man of your life.
“Of course I do.”
“Good,” he chuckled softly, a hint of mischief lighting his gaze as he pulled away from the warmth of your embrace, only to strip off the last piece of clothing separating him from you.
You turned on your heels, confused, aiming to ask what the hell was going on, but your eyes dropped to Jake’s big, stiff cock, the tip reddened, glistening with leaking precum in a way that got your knees weak.
“You’re hard,” you breathed out, pointing out the obvious and feeling your body working on automatic as you approached with your hands already moving further closer his length. “And hot. I’d suck you off–”
Jake shushed you with a quick peck, his lips being graced by a small smile. “Shh, come with me.”
He approached the bathtub, opening the water register to fill just the bottom of it before he settled on one of the ends and tapped his lap, urging you to join him.
“Oh?” You tilted your head to the side, a grin growing on your lips as you made your way to your boyfriend, doing as he instructed you so. “What are we doing?”
Your curiosity was driving you wild, yet there was something thrilling in the way Jake sometimes took control of the situation, keeping details scarce and letting slowly you discover things as they got revealed.
Sharing moments with Jake was a treasured part of your life, and you longed to create more special and unique memories with the one you had vowed to love for a lifetime – through every shade and possibilities.
So when he placed you on his lap, facing forward, something similar to as if you were about to ride him, you did nothing to control the excitement fluttering in your chest. Before you said any other word, Jake’s cheeks flustered with a cute tone of crimson and you furrowed your brows, a confused-amused chuckle escaping your lips because you literally had no idea of what was going on.
“Please, ignore what I’m gonna say, because it’s a fucking turn off…” Jake said with a small voice, his whole face contorted into an embarrassed expression as he tightened the grip on your hips.
“Okay…” As unsure as you sounded, still you held your expectations high. The worst that would happen was Jake making you laugh with his goofy ideas and jokes.
“You know that we calculate the velocity of some things in physics, right? Like fluids, and stuff…” You nodded along, not really getting the line of thought, but still allowing him to finish. “I was wondering… Mhm–” He cleared his throat, eyes avoiding yours precisely. You were already giggling, hands caressing his nape.
“Yeah?”
“Do you want to calculate the velocity of your squirt on my dick?”
Though Jake immediately reacted by breaking into a shy laughter and hiding himself cringing on the crook of your neck, you, on the other hand, had to stifle the shocking scoff that caught in your throat upon hearing his filthy, straightforward request, your expression shifting from teasing humored to stunned disbelief. And you felt your pussy clenching right after, because Jake had that fucking effect on you, no matter what. 
“I won’t lie… I was so ready to laugh,” you admitted, voice soft and edged with a dryness that had you swallowing hard, trying to hold the thrill bubbling low in your core.
Your hips rolled ever so slightly, a teasing motion that grazed against Jake’s aching hardness, drawing a guttural groan from him. Your hand held the back of his head, caressing his hair, while the other wandered over his biceps. 
“But, damn, I’m so turned on right now.”
“Thank God you’re perfect.” 
It was the last thing Jake said in between a relieved giggle before kissing your neck and skillfuly maneuvering your body with your help so his aching cock could finally meet the warm embrace of your walls. 
A shaky shared moan echoed through the hollow bathroom walls, your head falling back, your lips parted with a small delighted smile adorning it. Jake bit your neck to muffle his following groan when he finally got himself completely inside of you; he had been hard for so long, ever since he started to think about getting lost in the taste of your pussy, craving some sexual release that only your cunt embracing his length would give him.
“So fucking tight–” He whispered against the slightly bruised skin of your neck, voice cracking at the end when you rolled your hips in a silent plea.
Without a moment of hesitation, Jake lifted you effortlessly by your hips, only to pull you back down with a steady force, guiding you with a rhythmic precision. Your arms instinctively draped over his shoulders, providing the support you needed to move with him, as you both found your pace.
“Kiss–” you breathed, a soft whimper escaping your lips, just as Jake hit a spot that made you tremble. “Kiss me, Jakey–” 
As a natural command, Jake drifted his lips towards yours, his tongue licked your bottom one before sucking it and diving into a passionate, messy kiss, the movements never halting as you drowned into the pool of arousal and lust your boyfriend provided; you could feel Jake everywhere and it was amazing.
He pounded into your g-spot with ease, eliciting the loudest noises from the back of your throat, shamelessly. His hands roamed your ass to squeeze it while guiding your body up and down, the mild slapping sounds ringing in his ears like a beautiful melody. 
“You make me go insane,” Jake whispered, his eyes fluttering close as the euphoria of feeling you that close drifted his senses into an overwhelming experience. 
He felt a faint grin appearing on your lips before you shot back. “And– And do you like it?”
Jake chuckled lightly, a lingering smile following his answer. “I love it.”
Since you had one orgasm already, you felt your next one coming faster than expected, so when you started to involuntarily clench more, together with your whimpers of Jake’s name and curses amplified louder, Jake took a close notice to start rubbing circles on your clit with one hand, wishing you could keep on holding the position practically by yourself for a bit longer – he wanted you to do a bit more than cumming, after all.
“Close… ‘M close–” You whined, body jolting forward and your head falling back once more, the grip from your arms on Jake’s shoulders tightening as you partially hugged him. 
Jake drank in the sight of you rolling your eyes close and your hips uncontrollably grinding and bouncing and doing whatever would make you achieve your climax – so fucking beautiful. It made his dick throb in despair for the same release, but he wanted so bad to feel you squirting on him. So he gathered strength from the depths of his self-control not to cum, even after you creamed his shaft with your warm liquid. Even after your squeeze grew unbearably good.
“Fuck, babe…” 
“Jak– Jake– Sensitive,” you whispered when Jake didn’t stop drawing circles on your clit, momentarily forgetting he had a different plan as you struggled to squirm away. “Jake, mhm–” 
Jake shook his head as if telling you no, maintaining his dick buried deep into you as he focused solely on your swollen bundle of nerves. If you paid enough attention you would feel his mischievous smile creeping on the corner of his lips grazing on your cheek.
With your eyes fluttering open to try and look at your boyfriend, the overestimation teetered the edge of madness; overwhelming at it most, you whined pleas of despair for Jake to stop, though you didn’t actually want him to.
Jake groaned when your nails scratched his back, your whole body trembling, shaking to escape the painful, yet delicious feeling of Jake driving you faster towards an inexperienced field for you.
You never actually squirted, but as soon as you reminded yourself that it was Jake's desire, you wished to give it to him as much as you wanted for yourself. Pleasuring Jake would always pleasure you as well.
“It’s gonna feel so good, doll,” Jake cooed, holding you closer, keeping you steady. “Hang in there, just a little, yeah?”
“Can’t–” You shook your head, feeling a weird feeling creeping inside you. “Can’t Jakey–”
“Yes you can,” his voice was low, soft even, though breathless. Jake was trying his best to navigate you precisely to where he wanted you to arrive. “You’re my good girl, aren’t you?”
“Mhm– Fuck, Jake–” You screamed his name. “Yes, ’m yours. All yours.”
The excruciating pressure on your core felt like a glazing fire, scorching every inch of you as if it were igniting something deep inside, something new, strange. It was a fiery ache, relentless and consuming, making it almost impossible to think of anything but the heat that pulsed through you, demanding attention. The sensation grew more intense with every movement, every touch, every deliberate open-mouth kiss Jake deposited on your neck. You couldn’t decide if you wanted it to stop or if you wanted it to go on forever. 
“It’s burning– Jake–” You sounded urgent, not exactly knowing why.  
“Let it go, doll,” Jake murmured on your earlobe. “For me, yeah?”
And so you did, moaning, exclaiming Jake’s name like a mantra, like he was the only thing carved into your soul, the only thing crossing your mind. You felt like Jake entered you completely as a flush of fluids squirted from your pulsing, abused cunt.
At the same time, Jake had his own body trembling, his abs tensing as he came undone; not even a movement, not even a roll of hips, just the indescribable feeling of your juices flowing freely down his length and your walls clenching got him filling you to the brim with his release.
A wave of soft moans slipped from your lips, each one rising like a gentle hiss. Your mind was blank. Your body, numb. You felt everything and nothing at the same time. At some point you questioned if you had died – and if you did, it would be an amazing death.
But then Jake’s honeyed, broken voice brought you back from your trance. 
“I’m still coming,” and he so fucking was; it was a different feeling from the other times, if you forced yourself to think coherently, you would realize Jake had never come that hard. 
“I’m weird,” you mumbled, body softening against your boyfriend’s strong grip. He held you steady in his arms, supporting you with care. “Can’t feel my legs… Or my body…”
You heard Jake laughing a little in between pants, his noises sounding distant while your eyes began to slowly close, your body relaxing into that blur of tiredness that took over in seconds.
“I’ve got you, my love.” Jake kissed your cheek. “You did amazing. Thank you.”
With tender touches and gentle caresses, Jake cleaned both of you, making sure you were comfortable and not getting any type of extra stimulation as he did so. Through soft murmurs of reassuring words, he praised your work and thanked you for allowing him to pleasure you. As he always did.
Jake loved you with genuine affection. It never felt forced, nor did it ever seem like something he had to prove. It was simply there, effortless, constant, and profound. His love lived in the smallest gestures and the proudest compliments he would gush about, and you couldn’t feel more grateful for living in a relationship where the caring was mutual, because you cherished Jake just as much. 
You were finally at peace, in a comfortable relationship with Jake, knowing there would be no more lies between you and your brother. It was soothing to be able to sink into the warm embrace of your boyfriend without worrying about interruptions, or how quickly you would have to throw on clothes and present yourself as presentable as possible, hiding the remnants of your burning passion behind fake smiles and lame excuses.
Jake had a scent of home, of love. And it felt so, so good to love him without restraint, to kiss him without fear, to feel a sense of completeness as he fit perfectly in a special place in your chest.
“Y’know, I was just thinking…”
Jake’s voice filled the quietness of the room. He had put you in a comfortable set of clothes and laid on the bed with you, your body curled cozily against his chest, his soft heartbeats soothing your senses.
“We complement each other pretty well.”
“How so?”
Your ask came as silent as his. Jake caught himself thinking deeply, snuggling you closer as he did so. 
“Mhm… I lean towards physics and you’re into art,” you nodded along, casually drawing random shapes on his bare torso. 
The softness of his tone vibrated through his chest like a sweet lullaby. You sighed. 
“I feel like you’re more rational than I am… You’re always so, so determined and adorably stubborn until you get what you want… And I’m kinda lazy, not gonna lie.” 
“That’s true,” you smirked, raising your head briefly just to shoot a teasing glance. Jake chuckled, rolling his eyes before pressing a kiss to the crown of your head as you nestled back against him.
“We always find a way to please each other, in every sense,” he continued and you couldn’t help the warm flushing from your neck to your face, shyly shifting to hide yourself on his neck. Jake giggled, caressing your back. “And I always feel complete when I’m with you.”
Pulling back slightly, you searched those two mesmerizing eyes, brimming with tenderness and care. With love. Jake was a beautiful masterpiece, worthy of endless admiration you would willingly give, because you loved him just as much. 
“I agree,” you whispered, caressing his cheek. “We’re like pieces of a puzzle, fitting perfectly.”
“Exactly,” Jake breathed out, his eyes fluttering closed as tranquility washed over him after you pressed a tender kiss on his lips just to get cozy again against his torso. “We’re complementary, babe.”
BONUS SCENE
"Well, well… If it isn’t the cutest couple..." Sunghoon greeted you both with a teasing tone as you approached the table.
The weekend trip was nearing its end, and that was the last meal the five of you would share at the hotel. It was a simple yet cozy dinner, the kind that felt more meaningful because of the company. A table set with exactly five seats, ready to accommodate all of you.
Jake responded to Sunghoon’s comment with a playful smack to the back of his neck before you both took your seats; Heeseung settled on your right, Sunghoon next to Jake, and Jay directly across from you.
“The cutest and the freakiest, too. Jesus Christ.” Heeseung muttered just loud enough for you and Jake to hear. Instinctively, your eyes darted up to catch the displeased scowl on your brother’s face. “Please, never put me next to their room again.”
“The choice was either you or Jay, so…” Sunghoon shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world, though it didn’t stop Heeseung from glaring at him.
“And you weren’t an option?”
“Of course not. My trip, my rules. You should be grateful I even got you a solo room.”
“Oh, right, because between hearing Y/N scream Jake’s name and–”
“For God’s sake, dude,” Jake interrupted immediately, his voice sharp but laced with embarrassment.
Your cheeks burned fiercely as you sank into your chair, crawling Jake’s arm as if your life depended on it, trying desperately to avoid looking at Jay – or anyone else. But from the corner of your eye, you caught him massaging his temples with one hand, the other lifting his glass of wine to his lips as if he needed a moment away from the conversation.
“Am I wrong, though?” Heeseung arched an eyebrow and looked directly at you, who were now sipping your drink, still curled against Jake who held you by your shoulder. “I bet you were having a good time in the bathroom.”
Jake couldn’t suppress the sudden snort of laughter that escaped him when seeing you and Jay choking, each with your own drinks, together. On the other hand, Sunghoon shamelessly burst into a loud, noisy laugh, clapping his hands and throwing his head back as if it was the funniest thing he had ever witnessed.
“Oh, man, this is gold,” he managed to say, eyes flickering in between your mortified expression and Jay’s mad grimace.
You coughed into your napkin, one that Jake handed to you gently, holding back his own wanting to laugh at it too, your cheeks blazing hot. 
“Heeseung, I swear to God, if you–”
“Relax, Y/N. I won’t tell about how hard–”
“Ok. Shut up, dude,” Jake interrupted sharply again, though his voice carried a mix of amusement and shyness. He gave you a reassuring squeeze, his fingers lightly brushing against your arm, anchoring you away from their teasing.
Jay, however, wasn’t laughing. Not at all. He wiped his mouth with a napkin, his expression tense as he shot Heeseung a glare that could cut through steel.
“Some of us don’t need a visualization of whatever happened in that room. Thank you.”
Heeseung rolled his eyes, which shone with amusement, matching perfectly with his playful grin.
“Come on, Jay. It’s all in good fun,” Heeseung replied, waving off the tension with a careless flick of his hand. “We all know they’re just very passionate. Isn’t that right?”
“Oh, God.” You groaned, burying our face in your hands, feeling Jake giggling by the way his body trembled against yours. “I hate all of you. So much.”
The mortification flooded your senses, an urge to run away from their playful banter because you didn’t know where else to hide. However, the same subject being treated with jokes and laughter eased your fear of Jay turning back on his decision of supporting you and Jake.
“Even me?” Your boyfriend asked, kindly grabbing your chin to lean your head upwards to face him. He had a feigned pouty expression, one that elicited a giggle from you right away.
You shook your head. “No, baby, never you.”
And just at the moment your lips touched Jake’s into a sweet gesture, you heard your brother’s voice.
“Am I that ass of a brother to deserve this level of pain and torture?” Jay muttered, his voice dripping with exaggerated exasperation.
You and Jake giggled in between the kiss, parting ways as you bit your lip and shot a fake annoyed glance at Jay – comfort now settling your nerves, as you noticed he was trying to be as nonchalant as possible.
“Maybe?” You teased, your tone playful as you tilted your head. Jay rolled his eyes, but the small smile dancing on his lips didn’t deny he was starting to accept your relationship.
“Whatever, kiddo.”
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taglist 💖: @yvnempire, @marigold-sunflowers, @ikeuverse, @taeminsboogers, @4wkjun, @wiccangirl29, @guapgoddees, @manuosorioh, @zkg2318, @m3wkledreamy, @jakeswifeyyy, @love4hee, @missychief1404, @thlrstae, @jaems-left-toe
(the ones in bold text i couldn't tag!)
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kkayyerr · 2 days ago
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Problem.
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Summary: Pogues abandoning little!reader after she did an awful mistake. Rafe is here to show her that she’s not alone.
Warnings: Age regression, angst, slight fluff in the end.
Words counter: 1,3 k
Author’s note: I used scene from the „Arcane” as the reference for this fic!!🫶🏻
Pogues had never shown their disappointment in you or even told you that they weren’t pleased with your actions. They never showed you any signs of anger, especially not when you were in the little space. No matter how bad your mistakes were, they would just try to ensure you that everything is alright. They didn’t want you to know how hard it is to clean up your mess. And you couldn’t even think of anything about them being tired of you. 
After all, every mistake can be fixed, right? 
Tonight you found out that you were actually wrong, and there are some mistakes that unfortunately can’t be fixed, not at all. 
 
„Stay here, kid.”
 
JJ said to you an hour ago, as they were getting ready to go on another fight with some people that they had introduced to you as the „bad guys." You wanted to help them, but since you were regressed, they came up with the decision that it would be better for you to just stay inside the truck while they would be dealing with all of that. You agreed, just so they wouldn’t have to worry about you while fighting, and then you watched them leave. 
 
„Good wuck…”
 
You whispered, but it seemed like nobody had heard you since they haven’t replayed, just closing the truck’s doors. Since they left, you became so much more anxious. 
What if they would get hurt? 
What if they would get killed?
What if, what if, what if...
You just couldn’t help yourself, but finding that small gun that was laying on the driver’s seat was very interesting. What if that small thing would help you get your friends out of trouble? You knew that you shouldn’t have touched the weapons, but you also knew that you wouldn’t let your friends get themselves in trouble. 
Slowly you got off the truck and immediately saw them, staying there, just a few miles away from you. And there were also those bad guys, threatening your friends. Your heart ached seeing them in fear, so you approached them and shot.
A couple of times. 
You obviously didn’t see how one of the bullets came through the JJ’s shoulder, and you also didn’t see that you almost shot Kiara right in the head. When the gun's magazine finally got empty, you opened your eyes, letting a weapon fall from your hands to the ground. Pogues were looking at you, and there was something on their faces that you had never seen before. It took a moment for you to understand that they were disappointed in you and also scared of what you just did. Everyone heads to the truck, letting JJ deal with you. They just didn’t know what to say, and they were obviously afraid of your reaction to their harsh words. 
JJ wasn’t even looking at you; he was looking through you, as if you were something that he was finally ready to leave behind. You felt how your eyes felt with tears just from the amount of guilt that you were feeling right now. You opened your mouth, but before you could start to speak, JJ just shook his head. 
 
„No. We’re done.”
 
He said, and his words made your knees weaker. He had never talked to you in such a cold manner, especially not when you were regressed. It seemed like you actually crossed the line trying to help them.
 
„They were right, you are a problem, and I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to deal with you anymore.”
 
His words were painful, but the sudden feeling of your knees hitting the hard ground brought even more pain, finally making you cry. Your cries were silent at first, but as soon as JJ had left your sight, silent sniffles turned into loud sobbing. 
 
„Pwease, don’t go.”
 
You hugged your bloody knees, whispering some sort of pleading out loud, even though you knew that nobody would hear you. Or at least you thought so. 
Rafe Cameron saw your small trembling figure, and he was intrigued. Something about that scene reminds him of himself when he was a child, left alone and crying for nobody to hear him. Rafe shook his head to get rid of that image. 
Why would Pogues leave someone behind? 
He almost felt bad, hearing your sobbing as he approached you. Your hair wet from the rain and your face puffy from all the tears. You probably needed someone to console you, or at least someone who would be there for you, right? And you would most probably do whatever it takes to not be abandoned again. 
 
„Why are you here alone, little one?”
 
He asked, crouching down in front of you, waiting for you to answer his question. You rubbed your eyes in a childish manner, trying to focus your gaze on the man. He wasn’t looking like he was planning to hurt you, and even if he would, it wouldn’t hurt as much as getting abandoned by a Pogues did. 
You looked at him for another second, and then you jumped on him, hugging him tightly with your little arms. Both of you were lying on the ground now, but he didn’t seem to protest. He didn’t hug you back, though, not yet. 
 
„They left me, Pogues left me.”
 
You whispered, trying not to start sobbing again. His eyes widened, as he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. How could they call themselves a family when they’re leaving their people behind? The thoughts of getting left were hurting your little heart so bad that you almost screamed but felt two strong arms picking you up from the ground just in time. You didn’t know who that man was, but the need in someone’s care right now made you desperate enough to accept his attention. You hugged his neck with your hands, hiding your face there as he was trying to calm you down. 
 
„I’m lonely”
 
Rafe chuckled at your pitiful voice, hugging you tighter. He wasn’t the big fan of hugs, but he knew that you needed that right now. He also knew that you were way too tired now to give him any information about yourself or at least explain what happened previously, but he also knew that you wouldn’t say „no” if he would offer you to go with him. 
 
„You won’t be lonely for too long, little one.”
 
His words were gentle; he didn’t want you to get scared or overwhelmed. He could tell that you were close enough to yet another tantrum just because of the stress that you had experienced from getting left alone. 
 
„I’m Rafe Cameron, can we be friends?”
 
You nodded, wanting at least someone to be around. You couldn’t stay alone, especially when you were regressed. He smirked at your response, knowing that he doesn’t want to be your friend. He wants to be your everything, and somehow you didn’t seem very against it.
 
„From that moment you will never be left alone again, baby.”
 
You looked at him with a small suspicion. It was hard for you to believe that someone might actually want to deal with you, and not leaving you behind when you would became too much. Rafe extended his pinky, his big hand approaching yours.
 
„Pinky pwomise?”
 
Your eyes widened, and your face turned more bright. For you, a pinky promise was something more meaningful than a signed contract or a proposal ring. You slowly connected your pinky with his, smiling happily. 
 
„Pinky promise.”
 
He reassured you, giving you a gentle kiss on the nose, making you smile once again. After he saw that smile, he knew he wouldn’t ever let anyone make you cry. 
Taglist: @marvelfanfics1 @aew-regression-cove @rafecameronsloverrrrr
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leclarifies · 2 days ago
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THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED IS CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE (LN4)
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✰ lando norris x ex!reader ✰
summary → in which lando keeps dialing your number even after you've changed it.
genre → angst (im not sorry)
word count → 2.1k
author's note → remember how i broke ur hearts with carlos sainz angst for my first fic about him? YEAH HERE'S THE LANDO VERSION!!!!!!!! i know yall love it either way so, enjoy reading! very short btw, i just wanted to put something out for today
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"where did we go wrong? i know we started out all right. where did we go wrong? i swear i knew we'd last this time." - lany, "13"
it takes three rings.
then he hears that stupid automated voice again, "the number you have dialed is currently unavailable or disconnected, please try—"
"for fuck's sake."
after he ends the attempted call, the furious typing is apparent in the empty, dark room. the artificial keyboard clicking fills the room as he tries his best to reach her. it's futile really, with every text he sends, the more agitated he becomes.
he knew that he shouldn't do this, that she was probably trying her best to move on, but he couldn't. he couldn't let her slip away from his grasp so easily.
"i just want you here for my races, is that so hard to ask for?" lando sounded desperate, he was desperate. he was a guy who needed his girlfriend and it didn't help that his girlfriend couldn't be there with him when he needed it the most, especially at times like these.
she was tired, he could tell, he didn't want to turn this into an argument but he was going to base it off of how she was going to respond, "lando, i can't. you know this. i have family here that i need to support, i can't just quit—"
"i'm not asking you to quit, i'm asking you to come just when you can," lando ruffled his hair so hard that it hurt, "the races are on weekends— for fuck's sake! why can't you just listen to me and actually hear what i'm saying?"
"i am listening! you're not listening to me!" she had tears in her eyes now, he hated it. he hated when he got riled up like this. it wasn't her fault, he knew it but he wanted her around him at least every few races, he hadn't been able to see her on the paddock at all this year and it pained him.
an exasperated sigh leaves his lips and he tries calling again, he knows she's not gonna pick up. he knows that he's probably blocked everywhere, but he wants to try. he wants to talk. he just wanted to fix things.
"the number you have dialed is—"
the next thing he heard was his phone shattering against the wall after he threw it across the room.
it was only two days later when he got a new phone and tried again, it wasn't going to go through. he knew it, but he just wanted to try. he wanted to show her that he was willing to make a compromise with her, just to make sure that she was there for him.
he didn't understand why he raised his voice so easily when it came to her, maybe because emotions ran high and he didn't know what else to do to express himself. he didn't know. all he knew was that he was a selfish prick and he deserved all of this.
he tried again.
"the number you have dialed is cu—"
he wanted to smash that brand new phone into the wall like its predecessor but he held himself back, he knew that the money that was needed to buy him a new phone was priceless to him, he was a formula one driver. it was pennies to him. all that money and he couldn't keep the most priceless thing to him, her.
he didn't care how selfish it sounded, or how convoluted their issues were. he just wanted her here, to hug, to kiss, to just comfort him. he had so many things on his mind right now and it could've been solved just by a simple touch and kiss to the forehead.
he was losing his mind and he knew it.
something akin to a sob bubbles from his throat when he hears the automated voice again.
"the number you have dialed is currently unavailable or disconnected, please try again later."
he fucked up, he knows now. she didn't have to rub it in his face like this, by changing her number and disappearing off of the face of the earth.
he just wanted to be home.
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gentle knocking wakes her up from her slumber, it's unusual to get guests at this hour and on top of that, she wasn't expecting anyone. a huff escapes her lips as she gently takes the covers off of her and sits up on the bed. the knocks become more persistent as she begrudgingly gets up from her comfortable bed.
at first, she contemplates whether she should open the door or not but she opens it against her better judgement, her eyes widening when she realizes who it was.
"lando, what are you doing here? aren't you supposed to be in aus—"
she gets engulfed in a hug before she could even utter another word.
inhaling her scent after so long had been a breath of a fresh air for lando, he missed her. she's confused on how lando even knows where she lived. she had moved out of her last flat to avoid him on purpose, and now he's here, when he's supposed to be all the way in australia getting ready for a race.
his hug wasn't reciprocated, unfortunately for him.
"lando—" she was cut off by her ex standing in front of her, his eyes were glassy, puffy, like he had been crying all the way from australia to here.
"i just wanted to see you, that's all."
"we broke up two months ago, you can't just show up in front of my flat like this."
"i know but—"
"there aren't any buts lando, didn't me changing my number make it clear to you?" she folded her arms in front of her chest, her hair was still a mess from sleep and she was in pajamas, but her eyes were nowhere near his, not wanting to have any type of eye contact.
lando could only look down on the ground in embarrassment, he knew it was wrong. he knew he shouldn't have asked her friends where she lived, all of them had turned down his questions, telling him that she wanted nothing to do with him anymore but it wasn't anything a little persistence couldn't solve.
"is that all? you have a race to catch," she didn't even give him the chance to speak before trying to close the door on his face, but he blocked it with his foot, he wanted to talk. to fix things. he knew that things were irreparable but he wanted to try.
lando pushes the door open, despite her insistence of not letting him in, "i want to fix things, love—"
"there's nothing to fix lando, we're done. we've been done. what part of done do you not understand?" she was on the verge of tears, she didn't want to end it with lando, no, not at all but she felt that it was best for the both of them, she couldn't provide him with what he needed and he couldn't with her either, so it was best to just separate because why be in a relationship when you don't feel the love?
her eyes were still on the floor, not even daring to look up at lando's. it hurt for her too of course, just throwing away their year-long relationship out the window when the beginning of their relationship was so lovely, but now all there was is resentment and she didn't want that in her relationship.
lando couldn't utter anything out his mouth, he was stuck in place by her words. he let himself in earlier after he pushed the door open, he gently closed the door behind him before sighing, "we didn't even talk about it, you just decided for yourself that you didn't want to be apart of this anymore, you didn't even wait until my race ended before i could respond. how can i let it go?"
she swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked out the window, still refusing to look at lando, because she knew that if she did, she would start crying, "you just do lando. sometimes break-ups aren't always mutual, sometimes it's one person who doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. it takes two to tango."
lando tousled with his hair, what could he say to that? she wasn't wrong. she couldn't deny the hurt and sadness that was in his green eyes, she hated that she made him feel that way but they were nothing. they've been broken up. by definition, they didn't have anything to do with eachother anymore, but she still had that care inside of her heart for him. after all, it had only been two months.
"just hear me out, and by the end of tonight, if you don't want to see me anymore, i'm gone. i won't try to contact you anymore," lando gave an ultimatum and she was fine with that, because she knew well that whatever he said, she would still say no.
she sat down on her couch, patting the space next to her to at least give him some sort of hospitality, wanting to hear him out even though she was steadfast in her decision.
"i won't bug you to come to my races anymore, i'll even help you with helping your family—"
"you can't throw money at this problem, lando."
"i'm not throwing money at it, i'm just saying that it's an option and you can take it if you feel like you need it," lando's voice was always pleading— begging for her to hear him out. he wasn't that type of guy, never. all of his exes got the same type of treatment, if they said that they were done, then lando wouldn't even bother.
he was a formula one driver, he didn't have the time.
but for her, he did.
she looks up, her arms still folded in front of her chest, legs curled up beneath her as she tries to find a comfortable position in an uncomfortable situation. glancing at the clock on the coffee table, it read in bright red neon numbers that it at 4:27 am, far too early or late for him to be here.
"we've had a similar conversation before, and i refused. so i'm refusing again," she sighs before meeting lando's eyes for the second time tonight, "i don't understand why you would want to keep this relationship. it doesn't benefit you for dating a poor girl."
"do you really think i care about your financial status?" lando asked, almost if it the thought of him caring about his (ex)girlfriend's financial status was ridiculous. he didn't care, it's the way she made him feel for the entirety of last year. she made him feel whole, like even if the world was against him, she would still be there.
she was used to men coming into her life who could think that they could "save" her and lando was no different to all of those other men. sure, she was definitely struggling trying to pay for her younger siblings education while working and pursuing her degree at the same time but that doesn't mean she was a damsel in distress and she expressed that to lando.
lando closed his eyes in frustration, "no, i didn't mean it like that—"
"well you sure as hell worded it like that," she looks away from him yet again, refusing to meet his eyes again until he had to leave. her eyes were glued to the window that overlooked the city, it was beautiful, calming— peaceful even, "i'm not changing my mind lando, we're worlds apart. i don't need you helping me, i can take care of myself."
with that, lando bit his lip and she ushers him out of her flat.
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it had been months since lando's seen her, but he never forgot. he couldn't. the way she smelt, the way she laughed, everything still stuck in his brain as he continued his career.
the world didn't revolve around him, so the show must go on.
calling her old number had also become routine, almost an obsession. every finish, every weekend, anything that had to do with his career, lando would try and call her and tell her how his races were going, as if he wasn't talking to an automated robot on the other end of the line. the automated voice was practically his best friend because he's heard the damn voice so many times.
"the number you have dialed is currently unavailable or disconnected. please try again later."
and try again later he would.
he didn't understand himself, was it an obsession or was it the comfort that it gave him when he dialed her number? he didn't know. but sometimes he would hold up that phone to his ear and talk as if she was on the other end of the line, even though lando knew that there was no one waiting on the other line for him, not anymore.
but, the show must go on, right?
167 notes · View notes
starkeysbunny · 3 days ago
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Omg I started reading your fics and I fell in love😭
I wanted to request a Rafe x reader (angst) where like she's Kiara older sister but she dies instead of JJ, and its all angst and something like that 🥲
(its okay if you don't want to write this!💋)
Love you!!! 💓
𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲 [𝗿𝗮𝗳𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗼𝗻]
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first request yay !! i’m new to writing on tumblr, so here’s my first one! excited to do more <33
pairing - rafe x pogue!carrera!reader
warnings - angst, hurt, sad asf, reliving jj’s death but plot twist it’s you this time, cursing, death
summary - ask above ↑ you’re kiara’s older sister. (rafe’s age gap to sarah is what i imagined!). when you’re in morocco on a dangerous trip to help your friend jj get answers, everything goes terribly wrong. in a last stitch effort to save your best friend and sister, you end up clinging for life in your boyfriend’s arms with your friends beside you.
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i can’t see anything. my arm covers over my eyes as dust blows in every direction. the hot air coats my skin covered by cloth.
“rafe!” i shout, trying to see, trying to find him. he ran off with john b and sarah. and now, i couldn’t find him.
that’s when i see my sister, and jj.
i stand back, dodging behind a wall so groff wouldn’t see me. my hand covers my mouth in shock as i see groff holding a knife to my sisters neck. “shit.” i mutter.
“give me the crown, and you can have the girl.” groff says, sticking his arm out gingerly, while holding kiara close to his chest.
“okay, okay, you can have it. just give me kiara.” jj says, raising his hands in defense.
i try to watch through the dusty sandstorm as jj reluctantly and carefully trades the crown for kiara. they both switch hands at the same time, kiara collapsing in jj’s arms.
groff holds the crown to his chest, a sick smirk on his face. his eyes flick to the knife in his hand, then back at jj.
no. no. no.
before i can even think, my feet are moving before my mind could. through the blazing heat and thick sand storm, i move blindly. going in the direction of kie and jj, i slot myself between jj and groff.
i gasp, my hand coming to my stomach. my eyes are locked onto groff’s and he raises his eyes in surprise.
“y/n!” i hear the desperate pleas of my sister fade into blurry obscurity. i couldn’t recount every moment after that. it was all a blur of pain.
my breathing is heavy, but fast. kiara had propped me up against a weak wooden pillar.
“y/n! it’s gonna—gonna be okay? okay?” kie says, her voice shaking. i could barely hear her over the roaring winds around us. jj was kneeling next to kie in front of me. he wasn’t saying a word. he was in shock, staring at the blood beginning to stain the moroccan cloth clothing cleo stole for all of us.
the blood that was supposed to coming from his own abdomen, was now instead, on his hands. i furrow my eyebrows at him, silently pleading for him to not feel guilty. i shake my head.
“it’s okay.” i whisper weakly.
jj’s eyes were full of guilt, regret, and anger. this would kill him. the survivors guilt. and i knew kiara would be fueled by anger and revenge.
after everything we went through on this trip, to get here. to save jj’s family legacy. to get him answers. and to save what was rightfully ours on kildare, the surf shop.
instead of leaving in riches, smiles on our faces—i would never leave. and my friends would all leave with vengeance in their hearts, and no place to go home to.
as i think about my friends, all the pogues—my mind goes to my boyfriend. the one kook with us. and suddenly, my heart is ripped in two.
my eyes immediately meet jj’s. weakly, i plead. “find rafe. please.”
jj nods firmly without a second’s thought. he stands, pulling the bandana over his nose and finding rafe.
“kie.” i whisper, my voice weak as my lip quivers. i look at my sister who’s hands were pressing harshly against my stomach, trying to stop the bleeding.
“no, no it’s fine—you’re fine!” she exclaims as tears violently and rapidly soar down her cheeks.
“hey.” i say, getting her attention.
finally, her glassy eyes move from my stomach to my face, a sob escaping her lips.
“i love you, kie, okay?” i sniffle. “save a seat for me at the maybank wedding, hm?” i tease with a weak chuckle.
“shut up.” she says through gritted teeth, hot tears never stopping. “i won’t have to. cause you’ll be there. cause you’re my sister-you-you’re supposed to be there.”
“okay.” i whisper with a weak nod.
she presses her lips together, closing her eyes. she hears the agreement and compromise in my single word response because, i didn’t want to argue. even if it was a stupid, little argument about her adamance of my survival. my last moments with my sister couldn’t be ended in trivial bicker.
“i love you too.” she whispers.
“y/n?!”
i look up, seeing rafe rushing toward us with an urgency i’ve never noticed him have before. jj trailed behind, john b, sarah, cleo, and pope following suit.
“baby.” rafe whispers. he kneels next to me, moving my body slightly so my back laid against his chest. kie still knelt in front of me, her hands holding pressure on my stomach.
i tilt my head back slightly as i look up at rafe. “hi.” i whisper weakly.
he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, shaking his head. “no. no, no, you’re not goin’ anywhere, alright? we-we’ve talked about this. you can’t go before i do.”
“tell that to groff.” i wince, groaning as i lean against him. “fuck.” i mutter in pain.
“i’m gonna fuckin’ kill that bitch.” rafe spits. i look up at him, and see tears falling down his cheeks.
my hand weakly reaches up, pulling down the bandana from his nose. “hey.” i whisper softly, my touch gentle as my thumb wipes his tears. “i’m gonna be fine.”
my eyes dart down at my sister. “right, kie?”
her lip quivers violently, she presses harder against my stomach. then, her eyes look up at rafe.
even though my sister and all of my friends hate rafe—they understand. they see how much he cares about me. ever since we started dating, parts of them had grown slightly tolerant to him. because when he’s around me, he’s a little nicer. a little sweeter.
and they know that even if they don’t trust him, i do. and rafe has shown it time and time again. that he cares about me. for real.
“yeah, rafe.” she whispers, her voice shaking. “she’s gonna be fine.” kie says, but i don’t even think she believes the words anymore.
“y/n…” john b says, his lips gaping open. sarah stood beside him, her hand covering her mouth. “oh-oh my god.”
“no, no.” rafe snaps. “don’t say that!” his voice is firm and sharp. “she’s gone be fine! go get help don’t just stand there and gasp—“
“hey, hey.” i say softly, my hand brushing against his cheek. “stop.” i whisper.
john b nods. “no, he’s right. we-we’ll go find help.” john b grabs sarah’s hand as they run off, searching for help. pope looks back reluctantly, but i nod at him. both him and cleo follow to find help. but there was no one for miles. we were screwed.
“you can’t leave me, alright?” rafe gasps, his voice breaking. “everyone else in my life, they always fuckin’ screw me over. yo-you’re the only one i can trust.”
his lip quivers and he leans down, pressing open mouthed kisses to my forehead. “please, baby. you’re all i have, y-you’re everything. c’mon, you-you remember, right?” he sniffles, pulling back and looking down at me.
my eyebrows furrow as i look up at him weakly, letting him continue.
“we gotta buy that house. t-the white one, with the blue shutters on the marsh.” he sniffles. “and you can get all the fuckin’ cats, dogs, bunnies, whatever you want—“
i chuckle softly, clutching my stomach from the pain the laugh causes. rafe and i had been together for about eight months. we’ve talked about moving in together. and there’s this house, on the marsh on figure eight. my dream house. rafe and i always would talk about it and make up scenarios of our future together.
one of them, involved him and i in the backyard of the house as i tend to our many pets. he groaned in annoyance the first time i mentioned it. but, i guess he secretly loved it. he’d do anything for me. anything i wanted, he’d make sure i had it.
“yeah, baby. all the pets. a-and then, i gotta make you mrs. cameron. okay? s-so don’t even think about leavin’ alright? we have so much more-more to do, please.” he begs through shallow cries and gasps.
“okay.” my eyes slowly blink up at him. i weakly bring my hand up, sticking out my pinky. “we’ll have the house, all the pets, and i’ll be mrs. cameron. pinky promise.”
he presses his lips together as a particularly rough sob threatens to escape. his hand comes to mine, his pinky latching on. “pinky promise.” he whispers.
i smile softly at him, then slowly turn my head to kie. “i love you.” i whisper to her.
she nods firmly. “i know. i love you too.”
then, my eyes turn to jj. “it’s not your fault.” i weakly whisper. “thank you, j. for being my best friend. you’re really good at that.” my voice breaks. “p4l?” i chuckle softly.
jj smiles as tears fall down his cheeks. “p4l.” he repeats.
“and, if you break my sisters heart—i’ll haunt you or some shit.” i weakly chuckle. jj grins, a laugh slipping from his lips. his hand comes up, rough knuckles wiping at his tears, he nods. “got it.” he whispers.
i look back up at rafe, leaning further into him, my hand coming up to rest against his chest. “i love you.”
“i know. i love you more. i got you.” he whispers, his voice a ghost now from how low and shaken it is. he presses a kiss to my hair, holding me impossibly close.
i didn’t want to die. but, as my body grew weak, my eyes wanted to close. i just wanted to go to sleep. and part of me hoped that, if i went to sleep, i’d wake up in a few hours magically, in a hospital bed.
maybe john b, sarah, pope, and cleo found help. maybe it’ll be okay.
but if not, i’m okay with that too. i got to go with my favorite people. kiara, my sister. jj, my best friend. and rafe, the love of my life.
as my eyes begin to flutter shut, i take in rafe’s features one last time. my gaze brushes over his blue eyes, the curve of his nose. down to the shadow of his cheekbones, and the purse of his lips that i had gotten the luck to kiss so many times.
i said everything i could’ve possibly wanted to say. i got to die, with the people i loved most in the world. i was okay.
and hopefully, in a few hours, i’d wake up. and get to live a long life with all of them.
but for now, i was going to sleep.
damn yall that was sad asf. making me relive jj’s death 😞 hope u enjoyed !! thx for the request lovies !! <3
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tokkiwrites · 2 days ago
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𝚄𝚗𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚄𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝙼𝚢 𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚗. (5)
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mom's fiancé! joel miller x f! reader • series masterlist.
Summary: Your mom's new fiancé, Joel Miller, is the kind of man you could never shake out of your mind—rugged, rough, and embodiment of your long-buried fantasies. He's been your next-door neighbor for years, and the crush you harbored through your teenage years never really faded. Now, he's with your mom, and they're planning to get married. You should want her to be happy, but you can't ignore the tension growing between you and Joel. It's something that was never meant to happen. But as you uncover Joel's true motives for being with your mom, you realize maybe your feelings weren't one-sided after all. And maybe, despite everything, you’re the one he really wants. Tags: stepcest kind of, age gap (reader is in her mid 20s and joel in his mid 40s), forbidden romance, emotional conflict, complicated family dynamics, heartbreak, ANGST, cheating, infidelity, betrayal, talk about divorce, no one owning up to what they really do, main characters get their happy ending... OR DO THEY?! >:) /ᐠ - ˕ -マ⁩ authors note 𑁯 ✿ im baaack !! last part baby!!! kind of. you'll see >:) until then enjoy this mumbled mess of 4.63k words bunnies! thank you for the immense support on this series. excuse any grammatical errors <//3
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Her words hit you like a tidal wave, leaving you gasping for air. You watched as she paced the room, trembling with the weight of her anger and heartbreak. “You don’t know what love is!” she snapped, her voice breaking. “Love isn’t sneaking around, tearing apart the people who trust you the most. Love isn’t ruining your family because you can’t control yourself.”
Your chest tightened, the sting of her words cutting deep. “I didn’t plan for this to happen,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “It wasn’t like I set out to hurt you—”
“But you did,” she interrupted, her voice cracking. “You hurt me in the worst way possible. You betrayed me with the one person who was supposed to be on my side. How am I supposed to live with this? How am I supposed to look at you and not see… this?”
Her words crushed you, the weight of her disappointment pressing down like an anchor. You took a step toward her, desperate to bridge the chasm growing between you. “Mom, please—”
“Don’t,” she said, holding up a hand to stop you. Her tears shimmered in the dim light, her face a portrait of devastation. “I need you to leave. Just… go.”
You froze, your heart shattering at the finality in her tone. “Mom…”
“Go!” she shouted, her voice breaking. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
The silence that followed was deafening. You turned and stumbled toward the door, the walls of the house you’d grown up in suddenly feeling foreign and cold. As you stepped outside, the chill of the night air bit at your skin, but it was nothing compared to the hollow ache inside your chest.
The slam of the door still echoed in your ears as you trudged through the dark streets, clutching your jacket tight against the biting wind. Your mind was spinning, replaying the scene over and over again—the raised voice, the look of disgust on her face, the words that burned like acid.
"You’re a liar. I don’t even know who you are anymore."
Your mother had always been sharp, but you hadn’t expected her to be cruel. Not like that.
She hadn’t even let you explain. Not really. Once she figured it out—once you admitted you were in love with Joel—it was like she couldn’t even look at you. Not forever, maybe. But you knew that in this moment, there was no going back.
You wiped at your face, but it was no use. Tears streaked your cheeks, hot and endless, cutting through the cold. You barely noticed when you reached Joel’s building. Your feet carried you up the stairs, and your fists pounded on his door before you even thought about what you’d say.
It wasn’t long before the door swung open. Joel stood there, his face tight with worry that immediately shifted into something darker when he saw you. “You told her,” he said, his voice low and heavy. You froze, your breath catching. Of course, he already knew. “I had to,” you whispered, stepping inside uninvited. “She—she guessed. She cornered me, Joel, I couldn’t—” You decided to lie. You tried to protect him from all of this. Maybe it wasn't your job or your role to do so, but this was the way to show him that it's real. that you are real, and so are all the feelings you have for him.
“You could’ve,” Joel snapped, cutting you off. He shut the door with more force than necessary. “You could’ve waited. You could’ve called me. But instead, you decided to do this on your own.” His words hit like a punch, and you stumbled over your response. “I didn’t have time—”
“That’s bullshit,” he growled, his voice rising. He took a step closer, his eyes boring into yours. “You didn’t want to wait for me. You wanted to handle it yourself, like you always do.”
“That’s not fair,” you shot back, anger bubbling up to meet his. “I didn’t plan this, Joel! She came at me, and I panicked! What was I supposed to do? Lie to her?”
“Yes!” Joel shouted, throwing his hands up. “You should’ve lied, or stalled, or done anything other than blow this whole thing wide open without me. You think this is just about you? It’s not. This affects both of us.” Your stomach twisted at his words. “You think I don’t know that?” you said, your voice trembling. “Do you think I don’t feel sick about what this means for you? For us? Joel, she kicked me out!"
He froze, his jaw tightening. “She what?”
You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat threatening to choke you. “She told me to leave. Said she doesn’t even recognize me anymore. I—” Your voice broke, and you covered your face with your hands. Joel’s anger seemed to deflate all at once, replaced by something softer, though no less pained. He reached for you hesitantly, his fingers brushing your arm.
“Hey,” he said quietly, his tone rough but gentler now. “C’mere.”
You let him pull you into his arms, and the floodgates opened. You sobbed into his chest, your fists clutching at his shirt like it was the only thing keeping you from falling apart completely. For a while, he just held you, his hand rubbing slow circles on your back. "I got you, babygirl... 'm right here." But the tension in his body hadn’t gone away, and you could feel the weight of everything left unsaid hanging between you. When your sobs finally quieted, Joel pulled back just enough to look at you. His face was etched with exhaustion and something else—something almost like regret.
“This can’t keep happening,” he said softly. “You can’t just… go off and make decisions like this without me. We’re supposed to be in this together.”
“I know,” you whispered, your voice raw. “I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t know what else to do.” Joel sighed, brushing a stray tear from your cheek. “We’ll figure it out,” he said, though he didn’t sound entirely convinced. “We always do.”
But before you could respond, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You hesitated, then pulled it out, your heart sinking when you saw the name on the screen. Marjorie. Of course. Joel noticed your hesitation. “Who is it?”
“Marjorie,” you said quietly. He frowned, but said nothing as you swiped to open the message. "You should’ve thought this through", it read.
•Your mom’s already told half the town about what you’ve done. If you’d just shared a little, you wouldn’t be in this mess now. At least they'll know what a homewrecking whore you are.
The room seemed to spin, and you had to sit down before your legs gave out. Joel knelt beside you, his hand gripping yours tightly. “What is it?” he asked, his voice low and steady. You showed him the message, your hands shaking. His jaw tightened as he read it, a muscle in his cheek jumping.
“Unbelievable,” he muttered. “She’s trying to twist the knife.”
“She’s right, though,” you said, your voice barely audible. “I—I did this to myself. To us.”
“Hey,” Joel said firmly, cupping your face in his hands. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. You hear me, sweet girl? This isn’t on you. It’s on them. On her.” You wanted to believe him. But the weight of everything—the fallout with your mom, the shame, the fear of what came next—it was too much.
“I don’t know how to fix this,” you whispered, tears welling up again. "Maybe it don't need fixin'.." Joel’s expression softened, and he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “We’ll figure it out,” he said again. “One step at a time. But you’ve got to let me in. No more shutting me out.”
The road ahead felt impossibly long, the cracks in your relationship with Joel deep and jagged. But as he held you close, his arms steady and sure, you let yourself hope.
the nigh faded as your lids finally closed, the soft whispers of Joel a blanket over your tensed body. Finally, you fall asleep, escaping this day, hoping that when you wake up It'll all turn out to be a bad dream.
But as the night fell upon, you so did the day.
Joel stood on the doorstep, fists clenched at his sides. The brisk wind carried the faint scent of pine from the trees lining the street. He stared at the door in front of him, steeling himself for what he knew was coming. When your mother opened the door, her face immediately twisted into a scowl. “You’ve got some nerve showing up here,” she spat. Joel held her gaze, his jaw tight. “We need to talk.”
“Oh, we do?” she snapped, stepping onto the porch and crossing her arms. “You’ve said enough, Joel. Or maybe not—seems like you were too busy seducing my daughter to give me the full picture.” Joel winced, but he didn’t look away. “I didn’t come here to fight with you.”
“Then what do you want?” she shot back, her voice rising. “To explain yourself? To justify this—this shit?”
“I want to make things right,” Joel said, his tone measured. “For her. She doesn’t deserve this.”
“Don’t you dare pretend this is about her,” she snapped, her eyes narrowing. “This is about you. About your selfishness, your inability to think about anyone but yourself.” Joel’s hands curled into fists at his sides, but he forced himself to stay calm. “I know you’re angry—”
“Angry?” Her voice grew louder, trembling with indignation. “Angry doesn’t even begin to cover it! Do you have any idea what you’ve done, Joel? My daughter—your stepdaughter. Do you even hear yourself?” Joel’s shoulders sagged slightly, but his resolve didn’t falter. “It’s not what you think—”
“Oh, really?” she interrupted, her laugh sharp and bitter. “Then explain it to me, Joel. Enlighten me, because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’ve been fucking her this whole time.” His head snapped up, and his voice took on a dangerous edge. “That’s not what happened.”
“Then what?” she demanded, stepping closer. “You ‘accidentally’ fell for her? And so did your dick inside of her? Was this why you got so close to her? Why you were so ‘supportive’ all of a sudden? Because you wanted her?” Joel’s chest rose and fell heavily. “I didn’t plan this,” he said, his voice low but firm. “It just happened. She’s not a child, and this wasn’t some sick—”
“Don’t you dare try to justify this!” she hissed, cutting him off again. “You’re supposed to be her father. You were supposed to protect her—not—” Her voice cracked, and she had to look away, blinking rapidly. "Oh my god."
Joel stepped forward, his voice softening. “I never meant to hurt anyone.” She glared at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You think that makes it better? That it wasn’t ‘on purpose’? My God, Joel—this is why you married me, isn’t it?”
His brow furrowed, and for a moment, he looked genuinely taken aback. “What?” She let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “It makes sense now. You didn’t want me. You wanted her. You saw an opportunity, and you—” Her voice broke again, and she turned away, her hand pressed to her mouth. “That’s not true,” Joel said firmly, his voice rising just slightly. “I loved you. I cared about this family. I—”
“You used this family,” she snapped, spinning back around to face him. “And don’t you dare pretend otherwise. You’ve destroyed everything, Joel. Do you understand that? Everything. And for what?”
Joel’s expression hardened, his frustration bubbling to the surface. “For love,” he said, his voice rough. “I love her. And you can hate me for it all you want, but that’s the truth.” Her mouth fell open slightly, disbelief etched across her face. For a moment, the only sound was the wind rustling through the trees.
“You’re disgusting,” she finally said, her voice quiet but laced with venom. “Do you know what people are saying? What they’re going to say? You’ve ruined her, Joel. You’ve ruined her life, and you don't even understand."
Joel’s throat tightened, and his heart sank with every word that came from her mouth. “I never meant to hurt her,” he said again, his voice thick with emotion. He took a step forward, desperate to make her understand. “I never meant for any of this to happen. I love her, but I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I never wanted to destroy this family.” The words seemed to hit her like a slap. She blinked rapidly, as though trying to keep the tears at bay, but they came anyway—one by one, streaming down her face. “You already have, Joel,” she whispered.
There was a heavy silence between them. The weight of everything that had happened hung in the air like an oppressive cloud. Joel wanted to reach out, to comfort her somehow, but he knew he couldn’t. Not now.
Her eyes narrowed, and her voice was cold, almost venomous. “You’re not going to get away with this. I’ll make sure of it. I’m telling everyone. I’ve already told people, Joel. You don’t get to just pretend this didn’t happen, that it’s all okay. I will make sure everyone knows what you’ve done.”
His blood ran cold. “You can’t—”
“I will,” she spat. Joel stood there. He wanted to scream, to argue, but the truth hung there. He had screwed up. And he knew that.
“I didn’t want this to happen. You have to believe me,” he said hoarsely, voice cracking. “I was trying to be there for her. I—I never wanted to hurt her or you. It just—it just happened. And I don’t know what to do, but I swear, I never meant for it to go this far.” She crossed her arms tightly, her eyes flashing with anger and hurt. “You never meant it, Joel? Then why did you let it happen? Why didn’t you stop? You could’ve stopped. You could’ve walked away.
His throat felt tight, constricted with guilt, but he refused to back down. “Because I couldn’t.” Her lip trembled, but she quickly bit it, hiding the emotion that flickered there. She took a deep breath, then looked him square in the eyes. “I want you to leave. Now.”
The command was sharp, final. Joel hesitated, his gaze lingering on her, and then he nodded—slowly. He wasn’t sure what else to say. There were no more words that could fix this, not right now. He turned, heading for the door, the weight of everything pressing down on him with each step.
He felt sick.
With one final glance at the door he’d just walked away from, he turned and walked down the street, away from the house, away from everything. His mind raced with a thousand thoughts, but none of them made sense.
He had destroyed everything.
And now, there was no going back.
Joel had just come back from a supply run, the door clicking shut behind him. You glanced up from the couch, where you’d been sitting in silence, staring blankly at a book you weren’t really reading. He dropped the grocery bag on the counter, pausing before he looked at you.
“You’ve barely eaten,” he said, his voice rough but laced with concern. You shrugged, hugging your knees to your chest. “Not hungry.” He let out a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, baby. I know it’s hard, but we’re in this together. You know that, don’t you?”
You looked at him then, searching his face for something—reassurance, maybe, or a sense that he really believed what he was saying. “Together,” you echoed, the word feeling hollow. “We might be together, but everything else is ruined, Joel. My mom hates me. She hates you... And everyone else knows now too."
Running away now sounds about right.
Joel crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the couch. “Your mom’s angry. She’s hurt. But she’ll come around. And whatever others say... Fuck 'em.” You shook your head, tears pricking your eyes. “She won’t, Joel. Not after what she said. Not after what we did.”
“She doesn’t get to judge us,” he said firmly, his voice low. “She can be angry all she wants, but we didn’t do this to hurt her. We didn’t plan for any of this.” You flinched at his words. “That doesn’t make it okay. We still—Joel, we still had an affair. We lied to her. I lied to her... and I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
Joel reached out, his hand brushing against yours. “You’re the same person you’ve always been...My sweet 'n smart girl. And you’re not alone in this. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
You looked at him, his eyes filled with determination and tears. He meant it—every word. But that didn’t erase the reality of what had happened. It didn’t change the fact that you’d hurt someone you both cared about, even if that love had long since soured.
“Do you regret it?” you asked suddenly, the words spilling out before you could stop them. Your voice trembled, barely audible. “Do you regret... us?” Joel froze, his hand tightening around yours. For a moment, you thought he might say yes—that he’d take it all back if he could. But then he shook his head, his voice resolute.
“No,” he said. “I don’t regret loving you. I can’t. But I hate how it happened. I hate what it’s done to you—to us.” Tears slipped down your cheeks, and he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly. You buried your face in his chest, letting yourself cry for everything you’d lost—for the family you’d broken and the love that had brought you here. “I’m scared, Joel,” you whispered. “What if it’s not enough? What if we’re not enough?” His arms tightened around you, his voice soft but unwavering. “We’ll figure it out. One day at a time, baby.”
You wait for the moon to rise and hug you.
Tonight, as the moonlight filtered through the thin curtains in his bedroom, you realized you couldn’t stay here anymore. Not in this town. Not surrounded by the memories of everything you’d lost.
Joel was beside you, his breathing steady but shallow. He’d fallen asleep sitting against the headboard, a book forgotten in his lap. His brow was furrowed, even in rest. You stared at him for a long moment before gently nudging his shoulder. “Joel,” you whispered. He stirred, his eyes fluttering open. For a second, he looked confused, but then his gaze softened when he saw you. “Hey, sweetheart. You okay?”
You nodded but didn’t answer right away. Instead, you sat up, crossing your legs and pulling the blanket over them. Joel straightened, too, setting the book aside and giving you his full attention.
“There’s something I’ve been thinking about,” you started. Joel tilted his head slightly. “What’s that?”
You took a deep breath, the words tumbling out before you could second-guess yourself. “Why don’t we leave? Just... pack up and go somewhere else. Start over. There’s nothing keeping me here, Joel. Not anymore. We could move, get away from all this, and just... be us. We could have a life, a family of our own. Isn’t that what we’ve always wanted?”
Joel’s eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. You could see the wheels turning in his mind, the way he was trying to process what you’d just said. “You want to leave?” he asked finally, his voice low.
You nodded. “I can’t stay here, Joel. Not after everything. Everyone knows. They’re all talking about us, judging us. I can’t go anywhere without feeling their eyes on me. And my mom... She’s made it clear I’m not welcome. But we don’t have to stay. We could go somewhere no one knows us. Start fresh.”
Joel rubbed a hand over his face, his jaw tightening. “I don’t know, darlin’. Moving... It’s a big decision. And what about you? Your work, your friends?”
“They’re not my friends anymore,” you said bitterly, the sting of betrayal still fresh. “If they ever were, they’re sure not now. And work... I can find something else. None of that matters, Joel. All that matters is us. If we stay here, this will follow us forever. But if we leave, we can leave all this behind.” His shoulders slumped slightly, and he looked at you; sadness and longing. “You really think running away’s the answer?”
“It’s not running away,” you argued gently. “It’s starting over. Joel, you said we’d figure this out together. This is how we do it! We can’t change what happened, but we can choose what happens next. And I choose you.”
The room was silent except for the faint hum of the air conditioner. Joel’s gaze locked on yours, and you could see the battle raging inside him. He wanted what you were offering—a chance to leave this mess behind, to build a life with you. But he was also scared of the unknown and the risks that came with it.
Finally, he reached out, his hand covering yours. “If this is what you want,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, “then we’ll do it. We’ll leave. Wherever you wanna go, I’ll follow.”
Relief flooded through you, and a tear slipped down your cheek as you threw your arms around him. “Thank you,” you murmured against his shoulder. “Thank you..." He held you tightly, his lips brushing the top of your head. “You’re all I’ve got, darlin’. I’d go anywhere for you.”
That was enough. It had to be.
The hum of the apartment felt suffocating, but there was a strange comfort in it, too. You’d been in the same place for so long, yet now, every little sound—the refrigerator humming, the quiet ticking of the clock on the wall—felt like a reminder of everything that had fallen apart. The town that had been home for so many years now felt like a prison, a place where the whispers never stopped, and the eyes of judgment followed you wherever you went.
But you weren’t staying here. You couldn’t stay here. You were both looking for a way out. Maybe you more than him.
Joel had been working overtime, pushing through his job, despite the whispers about him at work—the rumors that now tainted his every conversation. His job, the stares, the small-town gossip— it all got to him. to both of you.
As for you, you had quit yours. There wasn’t any point in pretending anymore. Your coworkers had given you that look— the one that said they knew but couldn’t talk about it openly. You didn’t need that anymore. You didn’t need to keep hiding in a job that felt more like a cage than an opportunity.
What you needed was space. You needed to leave. To escape. To start somewhere far away from here.
You stood by the counter, stirring a pot of vegetable soup as the familiar sounds of the apartment surrounded you. You were tired. Tired of hiding. Tired of fighting for something that had no resolve. It should’ve been an easy answer. You knew this would happen, how it would end up. And you could see it in Joel’s eyes, too. But every time you thought about leaving, about getting out of this town where everyone knew too much, there was a brief moment of hope. A spark. What if this was the first step toward something real? Toward a life that was just yours? Was it that horrible you wanted to he happy despite what you had done?
You let out a deep breath, your thoughts interrupted as Joel stepped into the kitchen, his tired eyes locking onto yours.
"Hi, baby." he murmured, his voice a little rough from the long day. You turned to him, a smile tugging at your lips despite the exhaustion that had been weighing on you. “Hi,” you said softly, and before you could say anything more, he closed the space between you. Joel’s arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you against him as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, then your temple. “Missed you,” he said, his lips brushing against your skin. “Every damn minute I was at work, all I could think about was gettin' home to you.”
You laughed quietly, resting your hands on his chest. “You’re such a sap,” you teased, but there was no bite in your words—just warmth, just the comfort of knowing he was here. “Only for you,” Joel replied, a smirk playing on his lips as he tilted your chin up to meet his gaze. His thumb brushed over your cheek, and his expression softened. “You’re my whole world, baby. Don’t you know that by now?”
Your chest tightened, but in the best way. You nodded, leaning into his touch. “I think I do,” you whispered. Joel’s smile grew, and he leaned down to kiss you—slow and sweet, the kind of kiss that made the rest of the world falter away. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, and his hands stayed firm on your waist like he couldn’t bear to let go.
“We’re really doing this..?” you said. “We’re leaving. Packing up and going to a whole new place..."
“Damn right we are,” his voice was steady. “We got that apartment a few towns over...with the balcony and all that sunlight you love so much, could maybe get a puppy too, who knows? It’s ours now. We’re making this happen.”
"Or a kitty." you giggle. "Whatever you want, angel. anything you want." You nodded, a smile breaking across your face. Your future home. Yours and Joel's. For how unreal it sounded, it felt like a lifeline. It was small but perfect, tucked away in a quiet area where no one would know your names. It was far enough from here that the whispers, the judgment, and the past couldn’t follow. It was everything you both needed. “I still can’t believe they approved us,” you said, shaking your head with a quiet laugh. “It feels too good to be true.” Joel chuckled, pulling you tighter against him. “Believe it, baby. It’s happening. And I can’t wait to see you in it. Can’t wait to start a real life with you..." he trails off, palm settling on your lower belly and, oh, butterflies bloom into your stomach. His words made your chest ache. He leaned down to kiss you again, his hands moving up to cradle your face. The kiss was longer this time, deeper, like he was trying to pour everything he felt for you into it. When he finally pulled back, his eyes were shining. “We’ll start packing this weekend,” he said, his tone laced with excitement. “I’ve already started thinking about how to load the truck. Gonna make sure all your stuff’s safe, no scratches or anythin'.” You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You’re so practical.”
“Hey, someone’s gotta be,” he teased, pressing another kiss to your forehead. “But seriously, I want you to feel at home there. I want it to be everything you’ve ever wanted. Hell, I don’t care if we’re in a shoebox as long as it’s with you.” Your throat tightened at his words, and you buried your face in his chest, holding onto him like he was the only thing keeping you grounded. “I love you,” you said softly. Joel’s hand came up to tangle in your hair, and he pressed his lips to the top of your head. “I love you, baby. More than anything.” it seemed real enough for you.
For a while, the two of you just stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, letting the warmth of the moment settle around you. You weren’t just running from something anymore, or someone. You were running toward something— together. And it was wrong, yes, and maybe karma will eventually make it's way to you, but until then this was your chance to be happy.
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taglist ⭐️ ㅡ @eviispunk @joeldjarin @whimsiwitchy @guelyury @untamedheart81 @dollyxzy @mybvalentine @am-3-thyst @cuteanimalmama @corinnedollete @lovely-vamp-princess
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nadvs · 2 days ago
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   ⊹ ❀ ︵ ∘  destined ⟢
pairing singledad! zach maclaren x nanny! female reader
summary after you find out you’re pregnant, you tell zach and prepare to share the news together.
this is a continuation blurb of this two-shot! requested by anon.
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You impatiently check the time on your phone again. It’s been fourteen minutes since you sat down in the private room at the doctor’s office.
Your eyes travel over the lockscreen photo from your wedding half a year ago. In the captured moment, Zach is holding Ella. Her left arm is around her father’s shoulders and her right is around yours.
Her poofy dress is sparkling under the warm banquet hall lights, her smile just as big as yours and Zach’s.
You’d done a lot of happy crying that day, but a moment after the photo was taken, you’d never had tears of joy quite like this.
Ella had run off after the shutter of the photographer’s camera and Zach pulled you in by the waist, his lips soft against your cheek, murmuring just loud enough to be heard over the music and people dancing around you, “You know what she asked me this morning?”
“What?”
“Since I get to call you my wife, if she can call you her mommy.”
You nuzzled into the crook of his neck, tearing up as he held you tighter. She had just turned seven years old and still didn’t talk about her biological mother all that much. She also hadn’t called you anything other than your name.
Zach had told you he’d be comfortable with it if Ella grew to want to call you her mom. You’d told him you’d be, too, but that you hoped she didn’t think you were ever trying to replace anyone.
“Really?” you said, your hand over your heart. “What’d you say?”
“I said she can,” he replied. You pulled back to meet his eyes, beaming up at him, almost in disbelief that three years ago, you’d knocked on his door for the first time. You could have never known the turn your life would take.
“You love her like she’s yours,” he said, his eyes glossy, “and she loves you the same way. I’m so happy she has you.”
You squeezed his hand. He’d already reassured you many times that you weren’t taking the place of Ella’s mother or being a substitution for what she lost. Instead, you’re an addition to their lives.
“I can’t believe how lucky I am,” he said. The tears he was trying to hold back fell from his eyes and he chuckled defeatedly. “Who’s cried more today, do you think?”
“I’d say it’s even,” you said with a laugh.
The door opening pulls you out of the memory. You meet the doctor’s eyes, your heart thrumming.
You and Zach had been trying for a baby for four months now. You didn’t even have to ask Ella what she thought about gaining a sibling. She’d been asking for one for a long time now.
After a string of failed attempts, you prefer not to tell Zach every time you take a test. You can see the disappointment in his eyes, no matter how hard he tries to hide it behind a gentle, “The baby just wants to make us wait.”
A couple of nights ago, when the home test you secretly took showed two lines, you booked a blood test to be sure. The doctor starts her sentence with Congratulations and you exhale a shaky breath of relief.
────୨ৎ────
Later that day, you’re folding laundry in the living room while Ella’s at school. Zach gets home from an early practice and beams when he sees you, dropping his bag on the floor.
“Hi, baby,” he says. “How are you?”
“Good. How was training?”
“I’m getting old,” he chuckles, stretching his arms over his head. You laugh.
Zach had already decided that after eight years, this is his last season professionally playing. He was offered a position on the coaching team after he told his managers he’d be resigning. He’s ready to slow down, to work a job that doesn’t have such a high risk of injury, to have more time for his family.
He sits next to you, takes the t-shirt out of your hands, folds it and then puts it on the stack on the table so that you’re free to hug him. You giggle as he leans forward and pushes you back against the couch. He’s hovering over you, his cheek pressed on yours as he hugs you, smelling like his body wash.
Zach lives for these simple moments. Getting home to you, holding you, grounding himself and reminding himself that this is what life is about.
“Hey, how’s your day look six Mondays from now?” you ask.
“That’s specific,” he laughs. “I’ll have to check. Why?”
“I’d prefer it if you came to the ultrasound with me.”
He pulls back, searching your face in awe.
“What?” he whispers. “Are you… What?”
“I am,” you laugh, tears building in your eyes, stroking his soft hair.
“When did you…?”
“This morning,” you say. “I didn’t want to tell you in case it came back negative.”
“I’m…” Zach doesn’t have words. He leans forward, gently pressing his lips against yours, shuffling quickly so he doesn’t put any weight on you.
“It’s okay,” you laugh. “You won’t break us.”
“Us,” he repeats happily, his voice cracking. He looks down at your stomach, gently putting his hand on you. “It’s okay that you made us wait,” he whispers to the baby. “I already know you were worth it. Are you being gentle with your mom?”
He looks up at you, a flash of concern washing over his awestruck face.
“I’m a little more tired than usual,” you say. “But nothing crazy yet.”
“I can’t believe it,” Zach sighs. He sniffles, his heart racing with happiness as his eyes fill with tears. “I can’t believe it.”
“I know,” you breathe. “Me, neither. We can give her the book soon.”
Zach smiles. He’d bought a children’s book a few months back about becoming a big sister for when it was time to tell Ella a baby was on the way.
Having known you for nearly four years now, he was already well aware of how pure your heart is. But the fact that your first thought is to tell Ella is yet another reminder of how you’ve always seen yourself as not only sharing your life with him, but with her, too.
“Gonna be hard not to do it right away,” he says.
“Do you have any idea how hard these last three hours have been?” you laugh. “I couldn’t wait to tell you. But we’ll share the news with her after the first trimester. To be safe.”
“Of course,” he agrees, cupping your face and pulling you in for another tender kiss.
────୨ৎ────
By the three month mark, your appetite has grown and fatigue has hit you hard. When the day comes to tell Ella, you’re bursting with excitement to tell her the news.
After dinner, you sit on the couch, already used to Zach quietly telling you to sit down and not do any housework.
Ella’s doing homework at the coffee table as you help. You gaze at her as she concentrates on her writing and remember the four-year-old she was when you first walked into this house.
She’s nearly eight now and still has so many of the qualities you’d first noticed about her. She’s energetic and loves conversation and never hesitates to show affection.
Zach comes in from cleaning up after dinner and raises his eyebrows at you, discreetly holding the book. You nod to confirm you’re ready, nervous.
He sits next to you, taking one last moment to look at you and at his daughter, accepting that this is the last moment the three of you will have like this. His family is growing now, and it feels like his heart is, too.
“Is it two R’s? Or one?” Ella mumbles, the pencil in her hand. She looks up when you don’t answer, too busy trying not to cry as you watch her. “Are you okay, mommy?”
“Yeah,” you say. “I’m okay. Can you sit with us for a moment?”
Ella nods, running towards you. Zach stops her in his arms before she lands too close to you. You laugh, having already told him privately that she’s never rough enough to hurt the baby, but he can’t be too careful.
“I have a book for you,” Zach says, kissing Ella on the temple as she sits between you. “Can you tell me what you think?”
He hands her the purple hardcover.
“What’s it called?” you ask.
“Big Sisters Are The Best,” she reads. She curiously opens the page, gazing over the illustrations of a little girl with a baby.
“Thank you,” she says politely. “I’ll tell my friend Kaley about this book. Maybe she can borrow it. She’s a big sister.”
You chuckle, meeting Zach’s eyes. He rubs Ella’s back and tells her, “You’re going to be a big sister, too, honey.”
Ella’s gaze darts up to him, then to you, then back again.
“Really?” she says. Zach’s face brightens with endearment, eyes growing shiny with tears.
“Really?” she repeats, looking at you.
“Really,” you say, putting a hand over your stomach. “That’s why I keep going back for seconds at dinner lately. There’s a baby in here making me extra hungry.”
Ella stands up, unable to contain her happiness, jumping up and down in her spot a few times before wrapping you into a hug. You laugh as she wiggles in your arms.
Zach wipes his eyes, still unsure of what he did to deserve this sort of happiness. It’s like he’s in another world, experiencing a type of joy reserved specifically for him.
“This is the best day ever,” she says. “And you’re the best mommy ever and daddy’s the best daddy ever.”
“He is,” you agree, looking at him with pure love.
────୨ৎ────
“You’re such a girl dad,” you say amusedly when you go into Ella’s bedroom.
Zach’s sitting on the floor as Ella adds what looks like the twentieth clip in his hair, while he holds Olivia, who’s happily ripping up a piece of paper.
He smiles at you gratefully. Your one-year-old is exactly how Ella was at that age. Curious, smiley, and eager to make messes wherever she can. He knows you’re technically a blended family, but it has never felt like that.
“Ella, can you do mine next?” you ask.
“After Olivia,” she says happily. “I told her she’s next and I have to keep my promise.”
“Of course,” you say. “She’s lucky to have such a nice big sister.”
“Ebba,” Olivia babbles.
“Ella,” Ella corrects. You laugh. It feels like yesterday, you’d just met her and Zach, and he was correcting her on how she’d called him the bestest. Now, she’s growing before your eyes, already so mature and well-mannered.
“But Ebba’s okay,” Ella says with a smile. She leans to give her little sister a kiss on the forehead, earning a giggle from her, clapping for more.
You sit on the floor next to Zach, squeezing his knee lovingly as your daughters laugh together. He takes your hand and brings it up to kiss the back of it.
“And to think,” you joke, “we wouldn’t be here if I bombed my interview.”
Zach laughs, shaking his head as he kisses your hand again.
“No,” he says. “This is how life was meant to be. You would have found us, no matter what. I know it.”
You grin at him, nodding in agreement.
Sitting here with his wife and daughters is the definition of destiny. Zach knows deep in his soul that he was always fated to be right here, with his heart split between three beautiful girls.
(the end)
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dissapointu · 2 days ago
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hihii!! may u do how arcane characters would react to a surprise birthday party that their partner made all for them?? happy early birthday!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it
———————————————————————-
Jinx
Jinx would be overwhelmed with joy, and there’s a good chance she’ll burst into tears of happiness. She might have expected something small but is totally floored by the effort you put into the party. She’d giggle uncontrollably, maybe even bouncing around in excitement, throwing hugs and kisses everywhere. “You really did this for me?” she’d ask, blinking away happy tears. The party would be full of confetti, loud music, and chaos—but in the best way possible. She’d want everyone to know how much she appreciates you, giving you a huge hug and yelling, “This is the best birthday ever!” She’s also probably plotting some wild surprise for your next birthday, inspired by all the love and attention she’s getting.
Vi
Vi would be absolutely stunned, her usually tough exterior softening in a moment of pure shock. She’d never expect anyone to go all out for her birthday, so when she sees the party you’ve prepared, she’s left speechless for a moment. Once the realization sinks in, her face lights up, and she’d probably pull you into a huge, tight hug, murmuring, “This is… wow. You didn’t have to.” She’d be so proud of you for putting in the effort. Expect her to spend the rest of the day grinning ear to ear and holding your hand, making sure everyone knows how lucky she feels. Vi’s the kind of person who would go all out for you in return.
Sevika
Sevika would be a little thrown off at first, not really knowing how to react. She’s not used to being the center of attention, and it takes her a moment to process that the party is for her. Once the surprise sets in, she’d stand there blinking for a moment, before letting out a deep chuckle. “You’re gonna make me cry, aren’t you?” she’d say, smiling softly but hiding the warmth in her eyes. She’d probably pull you aside after the party to thank you in a private moment, telling you how much it meant to her that you thought about her. While she might not show it off in front of everyone, the gesture would hit her deep, and she’d keep that feeling close to her heart.
Silco
Silco would initially be cautious and slightly wary, as he’s not a fan of surprises, especially big ones. However, once he sees how much effort you’ve put into the party, his defenses would lower. He’d watch you for a while, making sure everything is going smoothly, and a small smile would tug at his lips as he observes how much you care for him. When he finally speaks, his voice would be low and sincere, “This… this is for me?” His gratitude would be quiet but deep, and he’d make sure to give you a private thank you later, pulling you close and telling you how much you mean to him.
Vander
Vander would be absolutely delighted, and he’d show it in his own quiet, dignified way. His face would soften as he takes in the sight of the party you planned for him. He’d give you a warm smile and a gentle, loving hug, probably saying something like, “You didn’t have to go through all this trouble, but I appreciate it.” He’s the type to keep his emotions close to the chest, but you’d know from the tenderness in his touch and the way he lingers by your side all day that he’s truly touched. Vander would spend the evening making sure you felt just as appreciated for your efforts.
Ekko
Ekko would be incredibly touched and might get a little emotional. He’d probably look around at the party, checking out all the little details you put together, and get lost in how much you care. “This is… all for me?” he’d ask in disbelief. Then, he’d grin widely and throw his arms around you in a tight hug. “I love it! You really know how to make a day special, huh?” He’d be the type to take a moment to look at you with a soft smile, knowing how lucky he is. He’d make sure to show his gratitude by keeping you close for the rest of the night and doing something extra special just for you, like taking you for a late-night ride or treating you to your favorite food.
Jayce
Jayce would be completely overwhelmed in the best way possible. He’s used to big presentations and events, but when it’s all for him, especially from you, it hits different. He’d take a moment to appreciate the thoughtfulness behind it and then give you a big hug. “This is… amazing. You really know how to spoil me, don’t you?” His gratitude would shine through in his soft smile and tender gestures. Jayce would probably get a little shy under all the attention but would spend the whole night making sure you felt appreciated too, maybe even giving you a special gift or a thoughtful compliment.
Viktor
Viktor would be the most surprised. He’s not one to expect a lot of attention, especially not a full party, but when he sees what you’ve done for him, his heart swells with warmth. He’d probably stand there for a moment, eyes wide, before coming over to you, pulling you into a heartfelt embrace. “This… is incredible. You’ve done so much for me.” Viktor would be genuinely touched by your thoughtfulness and would make sure to spend the evening showing you just how much he appreciates you. His gestures would be soft and sincere—possibly writing you a note or doing something small but meaningful just for you.
Caitlyn
Caitlyn would be in complete awe of the party you planned. She’s not used to receiving such a grand gesture, so she’d be a little shy at first but incredibly grateful. “You did all of this?” she’d ask, her voice soft with disbelief. She’d smile brightly, her eyes lighting up with love, before immediately pulling you into a hug. Caitlyn would be the type to offer her help throughout the day, ensuring that everything goes perfectly for you as well. The two of you would share intimate moments where she thanks you over and over, giving you sweet words of appreciation.
Mel Medarda
Mel would be deeply moved by the effort you put into the surprise. She’s used to grandeur, but when it’s something so personal, she’d be incredibly impressed. “This is… beyond my expectations,” she’d say with a rare, genuine smile, stepping closer to you. Mel would not only appreciate the thoughtfulness but would also be grateful for how it made her feel seen and loved. She’d spend the evening making sure you feel special too, maybe giving you a gift or whispering something sweet in your ear. She’s all about making you feel like royalty, just as you made her feel.
Ambessa Medarda
Ambessa would be stunned, her usual control slipping for a brief moment as she takes in the party you’ve thrown for her. She’d look at you with a mixture of admiration and surprise, saying, “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” She might not show her emotions overtly, but you’d know she’s deeply touched by your gesture. Ambessa would spend the evening making sure you feel just as appreciated, offering you quiet compliments and a touch of her rare tenderness.
Maddie Nolen
Maddie would be blown away by how much effort you put into the surprise. She’s usually reserved, but seeing the party you’ve organized for her would make her heart flutter. She’d take a moment to appreciate the small details and give you a soft, adoring smile. “This is… perfect,” she’d say, her voice warm with affection. She’d hold your hand the rest of the day, taking every opportunity to show her gratitude through sweet gestures and soft words. Maddie would feel incredibly lucky to have someone like you.
Lest (she/her)
Lest would be so touched, and her usual cool demeanor would melt away in the face of your love and effort. She’d be a little stunned, standing there for a second trying to process how much you care. “This is too much… but I’m not complaining,” she’d tease, a soft smile on her face. Lest would spend the rest of the night making sure you’re spoiled in return, showering you with affection and showing you just how much this surprise means to her.
I hope you like these headcanons! thank you so much for the kind words! 💖
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cartoonsinthemorning · 2 days ago
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So I absolutely love all your thoughts and ideas about a fem Stan, but what about a fem Ford? I feel like that could also be a really fun dynamic. Stan trying to be the man and protecting fem!Ford from bullies, but is really just entirely wrapped around Fords fingers. And then! The jealousy could come into play in other ways! Like Stan starts dating someone and Ford is pissed about it so she leaves a lipstick mark on his collar or subtly sprays him with perfumes so that Stans partner thinks he was cheating and leaves him. And the obsessionnn. Imagine her stealing Stan’s shirts and sleeping in them just because they smell like him. Or staring at him while he sleeps and sketching him in her personal diary (though let’s be real, canon Ford did that too lol.) Anyways, I also like the idea of all of these pent up feeling finally coming out and her just riding Stan until he can’t think straight and her being like “that’s right, you’ll never have it this good with anyone else.” Idk. Thoughts?
Hello new friend! Thank you for enjoying my thoughts and ideas about fem!Stan, and for now kickstarting a conversation about fem!Ford too! I have a lot of thoughts. So many, in fact, that before moving to the shippy part, I need to focus on Ford alone, first. What would differ, was he born a girl. Quite a lot. I’m gonna be blunt. All things Ford had been oppressed by, in canon, would hit ten times harder, if he was a girl. Take academic ambitions, for example: I’m not saying that fem!Ford’s extraordinary intelligence wouldn’t had earned her praise. I just doubt she would had been encouraged to pursue higher education, and convert her studies into a career. A jewish WOMAN into STEM? Back then? I don’t think any of her teachers suggested she shoots for a prestigious university- why give her and her family unrealistic expectations? Ma and Pa would had been happy to have a smart, studious daughter, but I’m sure the idea to invest into her studies would had been up to debate, if not shot down immediately: to spend that type of money, when her likely future job would be either high school science teacher, or museum curator- would had been a pointless waste, to someone like Filbrick Pines.
To be honest, I think teen fem!Ford would had rather been encouraged, by her parents, to attend professional classes instead, something like a typewriting course- in order to find a stable secretary job, for example, after high school. Can you imagine, someone with Ford’s potential, being told “Well honey, at least you can put those extra fingers to a practical use, if you learn to type very fast”? Can you imagine how UTTERLY humiliated fem!Ford must had felt, all the time? Just like Ford, I think she’d be perfectly aware what a genius she is, and how drastically she’s been underestimated. And yet, she’d have to take in consideration the evidence: it doesn’t matter how great her mind is. They are right, there’s no place that would want her. The only person that would root for her, ever the dreamer, would be Stanley. He’d just take her hands, wipe her tears away, and promise, with naive, granitic certainty, that he will find a way to help her. His plans would range from completely unrealistic and cartoonish (“Ya could invent a machine that turns me into a brainiac, and once Pa send me to that tech uni ya like, I’ll sneak you in the classes, and you’ll take my place!”), to painfully sweet, albeit still unrealistic (“If Pa doesn’t want to support ya, I’ll take two or three jobs and pay for your studies and stuff myself!”). Stanley would look at his sister with bright eyes, and a huge optimistic grin, stating that she’s the smartest gal that ever existed, so there’s NO WAY she won’t become some posh scientist and prove everyone in Glass Shard Beach wrong. Every time Stanley would pull his stupid, naive, adoring Protector Knight acts, fem!Ford would feel so angry at herself for blushing, and for her heart-rate speeding up. Because it’s so intoxicating to be believed in, but she can’t afford to fall for Stanley’s overly-hopeful view of her condition, and she can’t afford to fall for him either. And this brings me to yet another point I wanted to make: self-esteem, and societal expectations.
If canon Ford’s hands got him bullied, and classified as freak- for a girl, they would had also been a mark of ugliness and considered remarkably un-feminine. I bet F., as a little girl, suffered a lot for having more in common with the grotesque antagonistic creatures of her favorite books, rather than the princess. And I’m sure EVERYONE around her didn’t fail to make her notice too. In subtle ways, sometimes. Like her mom suggesting she gets ear-rings, for her birthday, rather than bracelets, because it would be best not to concentrate more attention on those, right? Even if teen fem!Ford would act aloof, as if she didn’t care anymore, she’d be so self conscious about her large palms and extra fingers- so unfeminine and gross- she’d fantasize about chopping them off quite often. If Stanley hadn’t happily held her hand throughout their childhood, and “made fun” of how tiny her hands look in his large ones, as teenagers, maybe she would have, in a fit of self-hate. Thing is, fem!Ford would hold grudges and set secret standards in her head. It’s not like she thinks she’d never be able to get a boyfriend, despite her hands: she doesn’t look horrible, she’d be pretty, even, if she cared for her appearance like her moms begs her to do- but F. wouldn’t be able to suppress the burning conviction that “No other man but Stanley deserves me”. Other men may want her despite her hands, but Stanley was there since the beginning, telling her her hands make her more special than any other girl, like she was magical, like she belong in the fairy tales book she used to read aloud to him. What a stab to the heart, then, that she can’t have him. Not only because they are siblings, but because, just like you said, Stanley would date someone else. Carla, and some other stupid bitch that F. would need to get rid of, because they don’t deserve Stanley like she does neither! I love all the strategies you listed, to “mark her territory” and push other girls away!! I love toxic, jealous girlies!! I don’t condone Ford’s yanderism, but fem!Ford has my blessing. She can be a creep, as a treat. As for the part you mentioned, about fem!Ford snapping and riding Stan- YES I also agree, AND I’d like to add to it. In this AU, Stanley isn’t a misogynist in the classic sense: he doesn’t consider his sister an inferior at all. But… he would not be immune to absorbing the Madonna-whore complex:Girls like Carla- he can fool around with, because they are that kind of girls. Promiscuous, slutty- bad girls. But his sister is different. She’s so virtuous, so smart- his pure, innocent little sister. Stanley would NEVER lay a finger on her. Yes, he may admit to himself he is in love with her, which is also horrible, but at least he would never, ever sexualize her. Cue Stanley playing dumb, or finding excuses to weasel away, whenever fem!Ford flirted with him, or even made clear advances- during the entire length of their teenage years. Until fem!Ford just. Decided she couldn’t take it anymore, stripped naked, slipped into Stan’s bed, and grinded and kissed his neck until he caved, lmao. I have even more thoughts, but it’s getting late, here. I must cut the yapping short, for now. Please, feel free to come chat again, and throw more ideas of your own at me! Thank you for this one, MMMMWAH, baci baci!
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waiting-for-motivation · 2 days ago
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inside out
summary: Carlos is there for his girlfriend when her darkest insecurities take ahold of her.
pairing: Carlos Sainz x Reader
warnings: insecurities, angst, fluff
words: 1129
a/n: thanks to tumblr for being my unpaid therapist, I guess <33
MASTERLIST REQUEST RULES
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Having some time off feels relieving as well as overwhelming at the same time. Carlos fears not valuing his free time enough, although he does everything in his power to experience a lot. With his girlfriend, he visits museums, aquariums, exciting cities and breathtaking landscapes.
Other times, they share some quality time, cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie or cooking together. When Carlos is gaming, (Y/n) is always in the same room reading. They exist in silence, still savoring the shared moments with their partner.
Today is no different, relaxing after yesterdays hiking tour, Carlos plays a new game he had been yearning to have a look at. His girl sits next to him on the couch, so close their thighs touch, scrolling through social media. From time to time, she shares some memes, also calming him whenever the game is getting too rough.
“Car?“, (Y/n) breathes, discarding her phone on the side table. Not knowing if Carlos even heard her over the sound of his gaming, she throws a cautious glance towards him. His brown eyes are already on her, concerned about the serious tone. Carlos even places his controller aside.
“Do you think I‘m pretty?“, (Y/n) asks with an unsteady voice, avoiding her boyfriend's eyes. Her heart feels like it might break her rips apart, and her breathing keeps getting tougher. Right away, (Y/n) regrets expressing her insecure mind.
Subconsciously, she starts fumbling around with her fingers, pressing her nails into the palm of her hand. It might be a bad habit, but the pain is what distracts her from her depressing thoughts. What even works better is Carlos taking care of her. He grabs her hands, warm touch halting her nervous fiddling.
“Of course, mi corazón“, Carlos answers, almost at a loss of words. Her question caught him of guard. Watching (Y/n) shrink in front of him, her insecurities heavy on her shoulders cause him to feel rather guilty. Maybe he did not show her his appreciation enough. Maybe he tells her how much he adores her too seldom.
If (Y/n) could see herself through the eyes of Carlos, she would have no doubts about her appearance. The word perfection is not enough to describe the way Carlos perceives her. He might not be an artist nor a writer, but he would use only the brightest colors for her portrait and could write an entire trilogy about everything he loves about (Y/n).
“You are my gorgeous girl“, Carlos adds and places a hand on her cheek, forcing her eyes on him. Pressing her lips to a tight line, (Y/n) regrets exposing her thoughts at the sight of her concerned boyfriend. “Where is this coming from?“
“Forget about it“, (Y/n) says in a rush, already jumping to her feet and leaving Carlos alone on the couch. But she can't escape her boyfriend, who quickly follows her and wraps his strong arms around her from behind, lifting her up.
“I‘m going to show you how much I actually admire you“, Carlos announces as he throws (Y/n) onto the couch. Her screaming turns to soft giggles because of Carlos decorating her face in kisses. His lips wander from her forehead over the frown between her eyebrows to her nose and lead eventually to her neck. Over and over again, he whispers how much he loves her, how pretty she is.
“You are all I need, mi corazón, all I want. Without you, I feel like I can't breathe“, Carlos declares his deep-rooted love to his girlfriend, kissing a trail down her arms. What causes him to halt his fondling is a quiet sob leaving (Y/n)s throat. Quickly, she places both her hands on top of her mouth, but the tears streaming over her cheeks reveal enough.
“No, please don’t cry“, Carlos whimpers in shock, watching his girl sit up with a shaking body. Out of instinct, (Y/n) turns away from her boyfriend, not wanting him to see her so vulnerable, though Carlos won't simply accept that. He hugs her tightly to his chest. Her tears quickly dampen his shirt, but he couldn't care less at the moment. “Tell me what darkens your mind.“
“I feel like I will never be enough, not for anyone, not for you in particular. Comparing myself to the other girlfriends on the paddock, I realize how plain I must be. They are naturally so magnificent, know how to handle all this attention, and treat their partners perfectly. I will never be like that. I‘m not good enough“, (Y/n) manages to say between her sobs, now wearing her heart on the sleeve, revealing her worst thoughts.
“You are enough, mi corazón. Those other girls are nothing compared to you. I would not want you any other way because I see you as you are: wholeheartedly kind and breathtakingly beautiful. You are all I want and having you here with me makes me so happy“, Carlos tries to encourage his girlfriend, caressing her back and placing soft kisses on the top of her head. Bit by bit, (Y/n) seems to calm down, though she keeps her arms wrapped around her boyfriend.
“I just believe that neither my appearance nor my personality are what you deserve“, she whispers against his chest. Having heard enough, Carlos forces (Y/n) to face him, placing both his hands on her cheeks. Their eyes meet, both glinting with tears.
“Stop right there! If I have to say it over and over again, then I will: You are what I want. I love everything you might hate about yourself. I love seeing the brightness in your eyes whenever you see a dog. I love your passion for things you appreciate. I love the little scrunch on your face when you are reading. I love the way you hide behind me when a camera is near. I love you, (Y/n), and nothing you will do or say will ever change that because my affection is unconditional.“
At a loss for words, (Y/n) just stares at Carlos with wide eyes. This sweet monolog was the deepest profession of love she ever witnessed. Her heart felt like it was falling apart moments ago, but with every word that came over his lips, the pieces found shape again.
“Thank you“, she says with a rough voice, all that crying took a toll on her throat. After wiping all the tears from her face, Carlos leans down and captures her lips in a short yet tender kiss. His smile is bright, lightening her mood greatly.
“Don‘t worry, I will always be there when you are too deep in your own head, mi vida.“
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leavemetrappedinacage · 12 hours ago
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EVERYTHING WAS A MISTAKE — i. cheater.
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⤷ summary: Leaving home isn't hard, coming back to home is, you're determined to find your sister, but Gojo has many things to say to you.
⤷ pairing: yandere!satoru gojo x fem!vampire!reader.
⤷ warnings: angst, abuse (physical assault), a bit of gore, blood, abusive behavior, it's implied that Gojo has assaulted reader other times in the past, gaslighting, mentions of cheating, mentions of death, psychological violence (Gojo is manipulating the reader into thinking that everything is her fault), spoilers (JJK0).
⤷ more information about story: here.
⤷ notes: this chapter is a bit hard to read (it was hard to write too), if you are in an abusive relationship or have just come out of one reading it may cause triggers, so please stay safe. 🤍 (I forgot to post the chapter yesterday, sorry. 😭)
⤷ word count: 2867.
Human lives are bubbles floating on the surface of the water, fleeting, but the life of a vampire is perennial, like the Pinus longaeva, which will last for millennia if it is not uprooted. You let go of Satoru's clothes, to whom you were clinging tightly until recently. The words he said to you seem like a bad joke, but the part of you that knows him knows that he wouldn't lie about such a serious matter. A million possibilities run through your head and none of them seem right. Your older sister is the current head of the clan, she succeeded your mother after her death, she is also married to Satoru's older brother and is therefore part of the Gojo clan by marriage, no one in their right mind would harm her, unless they wanted to provoke a war that they would never win.
In the past, after you broke one of the clan's three taboos, your sister came to understand your side of the story, and although you confessed your sins out of your own mouth without showing remorse, she knew you well enough to know that you would never commit a crime of this proportion unless it was truly necessary, you were hot-headed, not a serial killer. However, there was a limit to her influence, your sister had to withdraw from the investigation not long after, the other investigators claimed there was a conflict of interest and personal motivations on her part because you belong to the same lineage, although you knew very well why they wouldn't allow her to investigate, you comforted her by saying it was all a mistake.
You accepted the death sentence so that her and her family's reputation wouldn't be tarnished by her crimes, but when you found out what they would do with your corpse after your death, you had no choice but to run away. You escaped from prison and left everything behind, so you would never see your family again and would forever be an outcast, but you knew that Gabi, your beloved sister, still had hope.
You fall to the ground on your knees, your heart breaks into a million pieces that you may never be able to put back together, the tears flow endlessly, but you don't make a sound. Your sister once told you: "One day, I will die, and you will be the last member of our family. And when that day comes, you'll miss me so bad when I'm gone, Y/N!" She said it laughing, you didn't care because she was the head of the clan, and just like your mother, she would die of old age with three children or more, but now those words blowing in the wind have taken on a new meaning, as if she knew deep down that it would happen. You put your hand on your chest and lean forward until your face touches the carpet, you open your mouth to scream, there's no strength left in you to do so, only a bitter taste of defeat in your mouth.
Satoru gets down on his knees in front of you and hugs you, you don't pull back because it's the only comfort you can have right now, you cling to him like you're clinging to your last thread of hope, you allow yourself to cry because it's the only thing you can do right now. He's never seen you react like this, you never cry, you didn't shed a single tear at your own mother's funeral, you were like a beacon in the middle of a stormy night, strong and resilient, no one has ever been able to shake you, so seeing you so vulnerable makes him feel he needs to protect you. He lifts your face with both hands and wipes the snot off with the sleeve of his shirt, you're a wreck, but you muster the strength to get up. Now with a clear head, you know you have to solve this problem, no matter what.
"I'm going to kill them all." You mutter, the glow you're carrying fades and gives way to a gloomy aura, you turn away from Satoru, you're planning how to kill these people, there are too many of them and only one of you, but you've been in a similar situation before, so you think it won't be a big problem. "Thanks for warning me, but I don't want you to meddle this time, it's a matter of fa-"
Satoru suddenly interrupts you. You don't have time to associate what happened right away, it was so fast, only then do you realize that he's hit you, you touch your cheek and it's hot and tingling, your ear is ringing as if a bell is inside your head, and it feels like one of your eyes has popped out of your skull because you're not seeing well. You're so bewildered that he has to hold you so that you don't fall to the ground again.
"I don't know what the hell you're thinking, but stop. Now." He gently grabs your face and presses down on your right eye with his thumb in order to put it back in place, and you stand there as if you were a doll being carefully repaired. "You're a hothead, aren't you? God! Are you thinking of killing someone else? I hope not, I don't want to have to do it again." He scolds you, he doesn't like the idea of having to hit you, but you always cross the line, it's so annoying. "If you make a single slip-up, everyone's efforts will be for nothing, your sister's life is at stake and we still don't know the intentions behind the kidnapping, so. Stop. Acting. Impulsively." He spoke slowly and nodded, waiting for you to agree. "Answer me."
"But-"
"Answer." Somehow his aura seemed to pressure you, it's always like this, he says he doesn't want to hit you, but if you keep doing things the way you want, he'll hit you again and again until you stop, you shrug and he sighs. "Y/N... answer me, I won't do it again, so be a good girl and say you won't do anything."
"I won't act on impulse, I promise."
"Yes, yes. I knew you were still a good girl." His tone of voice has changed, the pressure on his shoulders is also gone, he pushes back a lock of hair and kisses your forehead, it's almost as if he's someone else. "I'd love to spend some time with you here, but we have to go now."
"Now?" You hear a pop, Gloria and the children are still waiting for you, you can't leave without saying goodbye, you look around the room for the bread basket and find it completely ruined, you let out a breath of air through your nose. "I couldn't go and see any of you anyway."
"Who are you talking about?" Satoru grabs you from behind and buries his face in your neck, you're tense and stiff, it would be bad if he found out about Gloria, he's not the kind of person who tolerates jealousy. But fortunately he doesn't seem to know, he sees the basket of bread on the floor and remembers the children you greeted earlier. "I didn't know you liked children so much."
"Oh, yes, of course?! So you were stalking me at that time too?" He replies with a 'mhmm', you roll your eyes. "You're awful." You let out a dry, mirthless laugh. "Oh, I never had a chance, did I?"
"I'm glad you know your place." He's so overbearing and arrogant, yet if you had only half the power he has, you'd act like it too. "I'll help the children later if you behave yourself on the journey back."
"Really?" Your shoulders relax, you lean in to look at him, he nods in agreement and you're relieved, but everything has a price...
"But you'll owe me one." He whispers unassumingly. "Two, actually." He holds up two fingers, you choke. "Or have you forgotten that I'm going to have to take you in secret?"
"I thought you were going to give me up! I even thought I would need Suguru's help."
"Of course not!" He shouts, irritated, an icy chill shakes your body, you lower your head and he continues shouting. "What kind of monster do you think I am? I would never hurt you, Y/N. I... I... forget it." He pushes you away and massages his temples, then stops abruptly and runs his hand over his face as if he's just remembered something. "Oh, one more thing, Suguru is dead."
"WHAT?"
"I killed Suguru, he committed some crimes, but nothing compares to the fact that he hid you from me." Satoru lets out an infamous chuckle, you can't believe what he's just told you, but given the circumstances, you know he's not lying, the only person who knew your whereabouts was Suguru. "You remember when you abandoned me, don't you? Didn't you think about me? How I might feel?"
"You weren't the only one I left behind, and-" You start to speak, but he signals you to shut up and stop making excuses he doesn't want to hear.
"But as far as I know you haven't abandoned Suguru, have you?" You feel the air get heavy and Satoru's shadow covers you, he seems much bigger than you or you're feeling too small, you don't know, you go back and grope the tree, there's nowhere to run, you close your eyes and wait, maybe for the next slap or something worse. "He told me everything before he died... so we have a lot to talk about, Y/N."
Mistrust is like a deadly poison that eats away at you from the inside, it makes love grow cold, but it also gives birth to a weed called resentment. There's no fixing something that's been broken, when you put the pieces back together, the cracks and scars of the breakage will be there forever, it will break again if you fill it with water. There is no way to mend the heart of someone who has already been betrayed or abandoned.
Satoru look at you with a fake smile, the corners of his mouth are twitching, a bad sign, there's no escape for a change, there's only the two of you on this deserted house, even if there was someone here no one would come to save you, there's no place you can use to hide, but there's no way and no reason to hide when the Six Eyes are looking for you. You open your mouth, but give and accept that there is no other option but to stay quiet, he seems satisfied with your decision, the smile on his face widens.
"Satoru..."
"You cheated on me." He repeats with tears in his eyes.
"WAIT, WHAT? I never cheated on you." You choke, you don't know if he's making it up or Suguru said something that made him get it all wrong. "I don't think this is the time or the moment to talk about it."
"But I do." He retorts. "You disappeared for ten years, Y/N. DAMNED. TEN. YEARS!" He puts a lot of emphasis on that. "You didn't try to contact me during that time, you didn't even make an effort to make me try to understand your side, but..." He paused dramatically. "There was enough space for Suguru to continue in your life. Do you know how painful it was to find out from him that you'd been in contact and seeing each other for all those years?" He frowns and laughs like a maniac. "What about me, Y/N? I was alone in the dark for ten years. I had no news of you, I didn't know where you were, how you were or if you were even alive, but he knew because he told me before he died." He scratches the back of his neck and bites his lower lip. "You didn't even bother to break up with me."
"You turned your back on me first! You spent weeks ignoring me before everything happened and-"
"Because YOU were hiding things from ME!" He shouts and points at you accusingly. "I never knew your side because you didn't trust me enough to open up to me, your own boyfriend." He uses both hands to point at himself, the veins in his neck and forehead bulging, he's furious. "But Suguru knew, because you told him everything, didn't you? You even asked for help to escape."
You choke, you don't know if Suguru revealed all the details to him, but your mind goes blank like a blank canvas for lack of arguments, you can't retort, because what he's saying is the truth, at no point did you consider the possibility of trying to contact him, you didn't explain why you killed all those people in the first place, you just accepted the fact that he hated you and decided to walk away without saying a word. Who told you he hated you? Did he really think you were a monster? The fine line between what was true and what wasn't was so thin that you couldn't tell the difference anymore.
"I forgave you for killing those people and for running away, but this..." He points at you and for a portrait of you and Suguru on the bedside table, then makes a cutting sign with his hands, shaking his head frantically. "I'll never forgive that. Never."
"I'm sorry."
"It's too late to say you're sorry." Satoru reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black blindfold. "You never really loved me, did you? You loved him, I was just... an idiot. That's the truth. I was just a substitute for him."
You see the tears streaming down his face, he brushes them away with the back of his hand as if he doesn't want you to see him cry, you feel your stomach lurch, you don't have the courage to approach him, it's bad enough to know that everything that happened in the past was a big misunderstanding, to be abandoned and in a way betrayed, you can't measure his pain. And although you have your share of the blame for his suffering, he has to understand that you were on the run, many came after you to kill you, familiar faces, you have a lot of traumas to carry, and you don't want or need to carry the weight of this ill-fated relationship, but you can't help it.
"I expected a little loyalty from you. But you're one of them." Satoru refers to the fame of vampires and their multiple partners, but you're not like the others, you really only loved him, but he's so blinded by hatred that he can't see. You love him so much that you trusted him with your life. "You... you cheating bitch, I did everything for you, I... I even tried to forgive you for it, but then you started thinking about going after him? HAHAHA, I'm really stupid."
"I'm not a cheater. I've NEVER cheated on you." A lump forms in your throat, you can barely defend yourself against these unfounded accusations, based on jealousy and paranoia, you sniffle and wipe away tears that wanted to escape from your eyes. "I swear, I never did that, I-" 'love you' You continue the sentence mentally.
You endured everything in silence for fear of sharing the burden with someone else, because you are afraid to lose everyone, but you also believe that if you had been honest from the beginning, he would have understood you, and maybe your sister wouldn't have had to go through what you're going through now, but now it's too late to be honest.
"You just used me and are still using me for your own gain, you just want to ensure your sister's safety and leave. Like everyone else... I'm just a tool for you."
"That's not true, stop it."
The truth hurts, and he's telling the truth, from the beginning you thought of him as a tool to find your sister, but not everything is true, you also want to spend time with him, since finding him again has ignited something inside you, but you don't have the strength to go against him. You take a step forward and he moves away, you reach out to touch him and he rejects you, it's so painful that you'd rather he hit you, you grab his hand and he's so cold, so distant, as if an abyss were separating you. You open your mouth to beg for forgiveness once again, but you feel a stinging pain in your head and heart, a buzzing in your ears makes you dizzy and makes you scream hysterically, your nose and ears began to bleed non-stop.
"Y/N?" Satoru's voice becomes distant and his image blurs. "Y/N?! Are you all right?"
"I... I... I feel... so... sorry... I... will... tell you... everything..." Your vision suddenly darkens.
The last thing you hear is Satoru's voice shouting your name.
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vickytaa · 3 days ago
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Music keeps me alive. M.S. Chapter IV
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sumerry: y/n's father passed away, and she moved to Boston to finish school. She always keeps her headphones on, only she knows the reason why. What happens when she meets Matt?
Chapter I - Chapter II - Chapter III
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Y/n Pov:
I was never a big fan of parties, especially when I didn't know anyone, but being next to Matt always calmed me down a bit. After the thing with Emily, everything felt weird and uncomfortable, but the guys quickly noticed it on my face and made me feel at ease again.
“Honey, I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back,” I told Matt, who kissed me on the forehead and let go of my hand so I could go. It didn't take long, or well, a little bit. I just did my business and touched up my makeup a bit, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back out. The party wasn’t bad, and getting to know the guys' friends better is great, it's just that I was tired and I've never been one to go to these parties, but if Matt liked it and it made him happy, obviously I was going to go with him.
As I walked in, I was met with a crowd of sweaty bodies dancing together, which made me a little uncomfortable. But when I found Nick talking to Chris, everything else faded away. Reaching the circle where everyone was chatting, I saw him. Matt was wrapping his arm around Emily's waist, just like he used to with me. He must have made a mistake. But how could he not realize it wasn't me? Maybe he'd just had too much to drink... But Matt doesn't drink much. I was approaching them when I saw Emily grab his jaw and kiss him. He didn't pull away, he kissed her back. How? Why? Didn't anyone notice that I wasn't the one with Matt?
Without realizing it, my eyes had filled with tears and some rolled down my cheeks. My breath caught in my throat. My heart ached. Those few seconds of their kiss felt like years to me. I felt invisible, until Matt heard a sob coming from me and turned around. That's when he realized that the girl he was kissing wasn't his girlfriend, it was Emily.
I was in shock, my world was falling apart, again. "What? Y/n?" I heard Matt say, looking completely confused. I had trusted him, I had told him things about myself that I never thought I would tell anyone else. I couldn't think of anything else, I wanted to get out of there, away from everything, from everyone, lock myself in my room and never come out. So I did, I turned around and started running through the crowd, while I heard Matt shouting for me to stop as he ran after me.
"Y/n! Wait!" Matt repeated, his voice desperate. I had managed to get out of the house, but hearing him cry made me unable to contain my pain and I turned around, this time stopping. "Y/n, I- I didn't- I didn't realize that... that it wasn't you. I had too much to drink and when she..." Matt started to speak, trying to explain what happened, but I couldn't take anymore pain, so much betrayal, so much everything. "No, Matt!" I tried to interrupt him, but I couldn't. He had come very close and grabbed my arms tightly, afraid I would leave. "I thought you had already come back and..." "Matt! Stop!" I yelled, now desperate because I couldn't escape. Matt stood still, slowly raising his gaze that was fixed on the floor to meet mine. My tears were now falling uncontrollably, despite my enormous effort to stop them. "Matt, let go of me," I said, now in a softer, lower tone. But he didn't let go. "I don't want you to leave Y/n. Please," Matt started begging me not to leave, which hurt me even more, but I had to stay strong and respect myself. "No, Matt. Now let me go," I said again in the same tone. "No, no, no, please don't go, I need you," Matt said as he began to kneel in front of me. He was crying uncontrollably, begging me please not to leave, grabbing my legs. "Matt let go of me!" I shouted and my voice cracked.
Hearing my voice crack, Matt let go of me. I quickly ran away from there, not wanting to hear anything else from anyone. I didn't know where I was going or how long I was going to walk, all I knew was that at that moment I needed my dad. He had always been there for me in the best and worst of times, always trying to make me feel better. Even though sometimes I didn't quite understand what he was saying, he always found a way to see the good in the situation, or a way to make me feel good, no matter how bad the situation was. For example, when my cat Sherlock died, he made sure to be there for me the whole month, giving me gifts, affection, making me laugh, despite the fact that I wanted to cry, among many other things that I had never realized I needed until he was gone.
And that left a huge void in me, a pain in my chest, a sadness and a need for him to come back, not at 2 in the morning at my lowest point of mental breakdown, but when I was laughing with my cousins while playing at the last family dinner all together.
I didn't need the music. When I said it kept me alive, it was a lie, what kept me alive was the memory of my dad. The countless nights I spent sleeping in his arms while listening to his favorite records, the road trips singing at the top of our lungs while mom laughed at how much we were alike, that's what kept me alive.
After an hour of walking in the middle of a neighborhood I didn't know, I decided to order an Uber home. The ride was quick, I got home and opened the door, still in costume. "Hi honey! How-" My mom started talking until she looked into my eyes. "What happened to you? Are you okay?" She started asking me a million questions, but I wasn't really listening. I couldn't feel anything but pain. Why does something bad always have to happen when I'm having a good time? It broke my heart to see myself so vulnerable in front of my mom, not knowing what else to do but wanting to run away from everything, like we had done when Dad died. My mom understood that I wasn't going to talk now so she hugged me. She knew I needed my father there, and maybe that wasn't something he would have done, but now he wasn't there and she had to find a way to make me feel a little better. I was crying uncontrollably, and my mom's hug made me cry more, but it helped me, because I felt more comfortable expressing my feelings, I felt accompanied, I felt at home. After a while hugging, my mom helped me go to bed and lay down next to me. Maybe I'll never say it, but I was very grateful to her.
That night, I could sleep very little, so my mom let me sleep a couple more hours and then try to talk about what happened yesterday. When I woke up, I stretched and grabbed my phone. There were thousands of messages and missed calls from Matt, but I couldn't even start looking at them when my eyes started to fill with tears again. I decided that maybe I wouldn't want to see my phone for a few days, so I just turned it off and got out of bed. My mom was making breakfast, like every day. "Good morning, my love. How are you feeling?" she asked. How do I feel? It was my time to speak, to explain everything that had happened, to talk about everything that has been happening to me lately since Dad died, to talk about my desire to leave, to talk. But who cares? If I have a problem, the problem is mine and I have to solve it myself, if I talk to someone I'm sure I'll bother them, I can't talk. If I talk, I cry. Why can't I explain what I feel like everyone else?
I simply swallowed my urge to cry and nodded. I sat down for breakfast and just sat there, staring at the plate of food in front of me. "Y/n, please," Mom said without explanation. I started eating. When I finished, I went upstairs to go back to sleep. I had nothing else to do. When I got up, I would just stare at the ceiling, not knowing what to do. Read? I couldn't form a complete sentence in my mind. Listen to music? I can't even hear my own thoughts. Talk to someone? I cry.
The moments from last night replayed over and over in my mind. The turn the night took, before we went out we were all doing great, happy, and at the end we didn't even leave the party together. I wonder what Matt is thinking, what he's doing. Is he thinking about me? Why would he think about me now if he didn't think about me before kissing Emily? God. I need to sleep and never wake up again.
The emptiness inside me grew bigger and bigger. I don't know if I'll ever trust anyone again. I feel broken and alone, as if the world around me is falling apart and there's nothing I can do but watch it crumble. I don't understand why he would want to make me believe he was in love with me and that he loved me only to break my heart. A big part of me wanted to talk to him and tell him what a jerk he is, the other part wanted to believe that it was an accident and that there's still hope.
The following days were the same, I only left my room to eat or go to the bathroom, I missed a whole week of school, I left my phone off, in short, I disappeared for everyone except my mom. She understood that I didn't want to go to school now because I didn't want to see Matt's face, but she refused when I asked if we could move because if I did anything here it reminded me of him, and that hurt me a lot. "No, honey, we're not moving again." I was crying again, begging her to leave. "Mom, please!" I said in my broken voice, full of pain. My mom's heart broke seeing me like that, but she couldn't take a step back again. "Honey, listen, when your father... passed away, I couldn't go back home because I was afraid of having to start over without him. He was the engine of my life." Her eyes began to fill with tears, she paused to catch her breath and spoke again, "That's why we moved, because I couldn't go back home and see all his things. But now that some time has passed, I could think about it better and I think maybe it wasn't the best thing on my part, because with that I taught you that if something bothers you you have to run away from it, and no, you have to talk. I barely knew Matt, but he seems like a good guy, and it shows that he really loves you and would never do anything to make you feel bad." She finished and I saw a tear fall and roll down her face. "Mom..." I said in a weak voice. "Honey, talk to him." "I... I can't," and with that I ran to my room and locked myself in again.
When the weekend arrived, I found myself out of my room, in the living room, listening to music again after so many days. As the first song was about to start, I heard the doorbell ring. Who was it? I wondered. Honestly, I didn't want to see anyone, especially at that moment, because I had red and swollen eyes, my hair in a messy bun, a big t-shirt and shorts.
But I didn't think about it much either, so I quickly got up from the couch and walked to the door. The doorbell rang again, it seemed like the person behind the door was desperate. "I'm coming!" I said, a little annoyed by the impatience. I opened the door and there was Nick, who looked very worried, and as if he had been crying, but little compared to what I had cried. "Y/n, I need help," Nick said. I knew this was serious, because he went straight to the point, without greeting or anything. Before I could ask, Nick explained what was happening: "Matt... he's not eating, he's not talking, he won't leave the room, Y/n please, we've tried everything, but-" I interrupted him, "Wait, wait, what happened to him?" I couldn't believe it, Matt was bad, very bad. Could it be because of...? "When you ran out that night, we went after Matt and found him crying on the floor. We took him home, we tried to talk to him, but he doesn't answer, he just locked himself in the room and won't come out. I'm afraid he's going to do something bad. I'm scared, Y/n."
I knew what happened between us had affected him, but hearing it from Nick? This is terrible. Nick is never afraid of anything. I knew I had to do something to help his brother, as much as it hurt me, Nick and his brothers were still my friends and seeing him so devastated broke my heart.
I tried to calm him down a bit, we spent some time together, but my mind was fixed on Matt, I had to help him. So when Nick left, I turned on my phone, after a few days off. And there were millions of messages from Matt, of all kinds, but they all ended with an 'I love you, I'm sorry'. I can't deny that my heart didn't break as I read the messages.
I couldn't wait any longer, there was no more time, I changed into a more comfortable outfit, greeted my mom and left the house, to head towards the triplets' house.
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a/n: I cried writing this chapter. What happens when she goes to their house? I can't wait
love yall:))
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sundew199 · 2 days ago
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tags: reiner x f!reader, implied child birth, fluff,
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His world stopped. Everything stopped. Maybe even the beating of his own heart as he heard the cry that instantly rang in his ears even after it had subsided.
They were here. They were…they were here.
And yet Reiner stood there like a statue as nurses rushed around him and he limply held your hand.
Shit. Were you okay?
Breaking out of his trance, like the play button had been pressed on a remote, Reiner hunched over the bed, grasping the back of your head and kissing you just firmly enough to drive his point across.
“I’m so proud of you, you did amazing sweetheart.”
Breathing the words into your lips, pressing his forehead to yours and letting out a choked laugh.
Nine months later, and his life had changed. For the better of course, but it hadn’t quite set in yet.
Nervousness came over him when one of the nurses called him over, holding a pair of scissors maybe, Reiner wasn’t sure, his vision dull and blurry from tears that hadn’t fallen yet clouding his vision. An outline of a baby could be made out, as his shaky hands held what he still thought were scissors and cut something.
Another cry and his heart beat into a panic, looking to the nurse closest to him who gently placed a hand on his shoulder, saying something that he couldn’t quite understand other than,
“It’s okay.”
Hm. For the moment he’d take that nurses word for it, not wanting to dive any deeper into what she could be talking about. Reiner stepped back out of the way as another nurse carried the baby over to where you were on the bed, passing them to you and prompting Reiner to rush back to your side.
Parts of him were irritated with himself for not being able to focus. Like he were in between panic and calm, floating in limbo as the situation and adrenaline hadn’t worn off all the way yet.
“It’s a girl, congratulations.”
Whoever said that sounded sweet and tender, but Reiner didn’t bother to see who as his eyes landed on the baby in your arms, soothed by your presence and gentle voice cooing at them.
He couldn’t help but swallow the lump that had formed in his throat for the hundredth time, hoping it go away as he didn’t want embarrass himself with emotions rising rather quickly. But he also felt himself breaking, withering away from the sight before him.
He wasn’t just a man or a husband anymore. He was a father now. A father to a little girl who’d one day hold him on a pedestal he thinks and see him as nothing less than her hero.
The pressure would be immense, but how could Reiner ever find a way to complain. Just seeing her clearly for the first time had his purpose in life amplified.
“Do you want to hold her?”
Nodding and muttering out a hushed “yes”, Reiner took in a deep breath, wiped his clammy hands on his pants and leaned over to receive the transfer of the baby from your arms to his.
Everything stopped again, so much faster than before. His body steeled where he stood as his baby squirmed in adjustment in his arms, her eyes adjusting to the light and blinking slowly when they finally landed on his face.
Reiner couldn’t stop the quiver in his bottom lip. She was so beautiful. She was so perfect. She was everything he wasn’t, and he’d never been more thankful for that. She had everything of you, all the good, all the kindness and tenderness that once put him back together and he couldn’t be more grateful.
“Hey sweetheart.”
Bringing his finger to trace her soft cheek, blinking away a tear as her tiny hand came to wrap around his finger, increasing the sobs he was trying so hard to stifle but failing so miserably. Fuck, he was ruined wasn’t he? His daughter not even an hour old and look how fast he was crumbling from the tiniest thing she did.
If Reiner were the same person he were a few years ago, he would be questioning what he did to deserve this gift. But now, he stood there in awe, admiring the product of love created by you and him.
Everything had come full circle for him in that moment. All the pain and suffering brought by his own hand and the hands of people who he scorned in the past, had somehow led him to holding his daughter for the first time. Everything suddenly became worth it, because if he hadn’t been set on this path from the beginning, then Reiner wouldn’t have been able to experience one of the best days of his life.
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a/n: baby fever has been so bad lately, good lor
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jsmelodies · 1 day ago
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Cassian thought it was supposed to be simple. 
Find the witch in the woods.
Convince said witch to give him Ataraxia.
Rescue the princess from the dragon guarding her tower, with said sword, from said witch.
If only the damned witch stopped getting in his way.
Read here on ao3
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
And she's done, folks! Thank you to everyone who's read this/interacted with it in any way. It feels so strange to say goodbye (for now), but I had to finish a multi chapter one of these days.
**Slightly nsfw chapter**
Chapter 4
Being wrapped in Cassian’s arms was her favorite thing, she decided.
He held her close, not letting her out of his grasp as they slept, his breath tickling her where it hit the crown of her head. He was all muscle beside her, his chest slightly hairy and soft to the touch, and she nestled closer, tucking her head beneath the crook of his chin.
She wasn’t used to cuddling after sex. Not in this capacity, anyway. At most, she’d stay for an hour or two, just until both parties came down and their heart rates settled, but her pride always forced her to leave.
She didn’t want to leave Cassian’s arms.
When they’d finished, and Cassian finally separated himself from her, he cleaned her up with such care that she’d almost teared up. Then they’d settled together under the blankets, his arm over her waist while their legs tangled together. Her chest pressed against his, and they’d fallen asleep that way.
Peaceful. That was the right word for it. The slow movements of his fingers on her back, and feeling his heavy breathing beside her—it was everything she didn’t know she needed until she had it.
She felt the moment he woke, when he shifted and let out a long, deep sigh.
“Nes,” he said, with a voice hoarse from sleep, his hand playing with the ends of her hair.
She tilted her face back to look at him, and his eyes blinked open, with the adoration she’d quickly become used to directed at her, mouth curving as he remembered where he was.
“Hey,” she said softly, running her thumb over his cheek.
Cassian’s stubble was rough on the pads of her fingers. In a split second, she decided this was how she wanted to wake up every morning from here on out: across from Cassian’s lazy grin, the warmth of his arm seeping through her as he reached over the crook of her waist. 
She didn’t stop him from leaning down, connecting his lips with hers. He swallowed her whimper with his kiss, and delved his hand into her hair. His tongue lingered on her lips, and she opened for him.
He groaned against her mouth, the sound reverberating through her bones, and his knee slid between her legs. Parted them.
The movement of her hips, as she aimed to get closer, had him pausing. He forced himself away. Forced himself to look, without giving into that raw, physical need.
“We need to talk about it,” he said, resigned. “Before we go again.”
“Do we?”
“Yes, princess.”
She had to admit he was right. Cassian deserved the truth—all of it. “What do you want to know?”
His mouth opened, and closed, as if he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to say. Eventually, he settled on, “Why?”
Why.
Why do any of it? She knew that was what he was really asking. “Because I tend to be very, very overprotective of my sister.”
Cassian lifted an eyebrow. “And that’s all?”
Her pulse fluttered. Not out of nervousness to tell the truth, exactly, but because she’d grown used to not sharing her secrets. Secrets that, as her betrothed, Cassian should know. “A lot of people pass through here,” she explained. “I’ve become quite skilled at determining who is good at heart, and who isn’t.”
He waited silently. Patiently. Letting her tell the truth of it at her own pace, face filled with understanding.
“These woods can bring out the worst in a man. More often than not, that’s what I see.” She stroked his cheek tenderly. Fondly. “But in rare cases, it can bring out the best in one, too.”
He clutched that hand in his own, bunching it and bringing it to his mouth for a kiss. “Which category do I fall in?” he asked, the lines of his face crinkled in amusement.
“What do you think?” she said, chuckling. “I have seen your heart, Cassian, and I know that it’s good. And perhaps, selfishly, I kept it for myself.”
She watched it all soften, the look on Cassian’s face. “I’m glad that you’re the one to hold it,” he whispered. “And I think that you are allowed to be selfish, when it comes to love.”
She’d guard it fiercely. And from the look that Cassian gave her, he knew that truth as well.
“Why did you leave?” he asked. “All those years ago. People speculate, and I suppose the witchcraft has something to do with it. But…why?”
“Because my mother deemed me dangerous.,” she said, looking away and drawing circles on his arm. “There was another witch here, once. I apprenticed under her for a time, until she passed away. It’s just been me ever since.”
“How long?” 
“Five years.” Right before she met Tomas. But she wasn’t quite ready to talk about that yet.
“You could have come back,” he said.
Nesta shrugged. “Enough people called my kind monsters,” she said. “And there is a kingdom’s worth of knights who would see any kind of monster killed. So why would I?”
He took her chin, tilting it back up to meet his gaze. She saw guilt, of all things, flash across his eyes. “It must have been lonely,” he said quietly.
“You have no idea,” she said.  “I love it out here. It’s my home. But sometimes, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to life than this.” She opened her mouth to continue. “I…”
She tried to find the words, but they didn’t come to her. Instead, water blurred in her eyes, a tear escaping onto her cheek.
“Hey,” he said, wiping away that stray tear. “You don’t need to tell me all of it today. You know that, right?” he said. “We have a lifetime ahead of us. When you’re ready, I’ll listen to whatever you need. You can throw whatever you need at me; I won’t break.”
For that, she was grateful. 
He got close again, chest going flush against hers. “And I don’t ever want to make you cry, Nesta,” he said against her lips.
She closed the distance, kissing him again. He had no qualms about doing it back, and he peppered them across her cheek, her nose, her forehead.
He traced her curves with his hand, from her breasts down to the small of her waist. “I’ve wanted to touch you like this for days,” he admitted. “From the moment I saw you, I wanted you in my bed. Is that so bad?”
A part of her softened at that. “You can have me whenever you want.”
He chuckled. “No. I didn’t mean that. Well, yes that. But I meant…this.” 
He established what he meant by resuming his earlier attentions. He kissed the crook of her neck, and slid his hand over her back.
“Getting to know what your skin feels like, when it’s been a long day, or week, or month, and to be able to just be with you.” He kissed a freckle on her shoulder. “You are everything to me, Nesta.”
“Cassian,” she said. Perhaps it was a bit desperate.
His voice was guttural as he said, “Come here.” He parted her mouth with a press of his lips, tilting her head up and holding it steady with his hand. 
He lifted up onto his elbow as he kissed her relentlessly, moving to pin her beneath him on the mattress.
But that wouldn’t do. Her promise to herself from earlier came to mind, of what she wanted to do to him, and she halted him with a hand to his chest.
Then, she retreated from the bed. Stood at the foot of it. He watched her hungrily, eyes silently questioning why she wasn’t beside him.
“Come here,” she said, crooking a finger.
Cassian crawled. He made his way towards her, lifting himself onto his knees when he made it to the bottom of the bed right before her. 
“Come back to bed,” he whispered. 
“I will,” she promised. She traced her finger down the side of his face, over his strong chin. “Sit down for me.”
He leaned away, the skepticism clear on his face, but he did as she asked anyway. He swung his knees out from beneath him and sat on the bed.
His face was as hard as stone as he looked down. Up. Over the peaks of her breasts, which he took in his hands, to her hips, and all the way back to her eyes.
His hands slid down, moving to cup the bottom of her thighs. To pull her onto his lap, which she couldn’t find it in herself to stop.
She was unable to tear her gaze away from his cock that had gone hard again, jutting upwards between their stomachs. She wrapped her hand around it, tightening her grip until his head fell back with a groan.
“Nesta,” he rasped, letting her do as she wanted with him. His throat bobbed, and she leaned in to kiss it, relishing in his muscles tightening beneath her.
It wasn’t enough. She leaned forward and kissed him once on the lips before releasing him and kneeling on the ground before him.
His eyebrow raised in amusement. “What do you think you’re doing, Nes?”
“I’d think that’s rather obvious,” she replied, leaning down until her lips were right over the head of his cock. 
Her hands ran up the inside of his thighs until her right one gripped his base, giving it a gentle squeeze. She nearly got her tongue on him before his hand was wrapped in her hair at the base of her skull, pulling her head away from him with a simple tug.
“Oh, no you don’t,” he said, snarling slightly. “Princesses don’t get on their knees.”
Cassian pulled her up to his level, likely assessing what, exactly, he wanted to do with her.
“I should return the favor, shouldn’t I?” she asked, her tone light. “You’re making me think you don’t want my mouth on you.”
His gaze intensified. “I never said that.”
“That’s too bad for you then, isn’t it?” she teased. “Poor Cassian, not getting what he wants–”
He silenced her with another tug to her hair, fingers tightening until the feeling bordered on pain. His hazel eyes glinted as she saw him formulating his plan.
“Such a brat,” he muttered. “Fine, sweetheart. You want to suck my cock so bad? You’ll do it from your throne.”
She was about to ask him what he meant by that until he dragged them both back across the bed. Cassian laid on his back, pulling her thighs over him so they rested on either side of his face. 
“Sit.”
He used his demanding tone that she rarely heard, the one that sent shivers down her spine, and forced her down so that she hovered right over his face.
Holding her leg steady with one hand, he used the other to push her down so her mouth was right in front of his cock, his instructions clear. 
The last thing he said before pulling her onto his face completely was, “I assume you know what to do.”
***
He had her one more time on that bed before they pulled themselves off of each other. After she took him in her mouth, she’d laid down on his chest until she felt him pressing against her once more.
All it took was one amused glance, one twinkle of her eye, for Cassian to flip them over, snarling as he held her hands over her head.
And the rest…Well. She supposed if they had a lifetime together, she could grow used to wasting hours in bed, feeling Cassian move in her.
If she had to.
The sun was fading, flickering through the leaves of the forest when they finally cleaned themselves off and managed to get their clothes back on.
“We should go back,” she said. “I imagine my father will want to have a ceremony in the next few days.”
And she wanted it, too. Even if she hadn’t just brought him to her bed, she’d want him at her side sooner rather than later anyway. Permanently.
She’d fought her feelings towards him since she met him, and she was tired of it. She wanted the entire world to know that this was the man she had chosen, that he was the man she loved.
“It’ll be strange going home,” she said, looking out the window to the field outside the cottage. 
A part of her would always love it here. It was her home when nowhere else seemed to be, and for that, she would always be grateful.
But everything didn’t always have to stay the same.
“I can see why,” Cassian said, agreeing. “It’s nice here, though. We don’t have to stay at the castle, not if you don’t want to.”
“I like it here, too,” she said, looking back at him. “Maybe we could come back here, some of the time.”
“We will.” Cassian extended a hand, waiting for her to take it. “Ready?” he asked.
With one last glance around the cottage, she slid her hand into his. The smile he gave her was warm, bright, as her fingers wrapped around his, and he guided her towards the door.
Something pulled at her. Not at her heart, but the source of her power—
Nesta stopped, and put her other hand to his chest. “Wait.”
Someone was here. The magic of her wards alerted her to their presence. The sensation was neither glowing and warm like with Cassian, or chipped and cold like Kallon and the others. It was…perfectly neutral. 
“We need to start heading back, sweetheart,” he murmured. “It’s going to get dark soon.”
“No, I know. But someone’s here.”
She moved to the window, looking to see who had ventured in. At the very perimeter of the fence were two knights, donned in leather armor that allowed them to move freely.
The wards let them through, and they tackled each other to the ground just as they got beyond the fence.
“I got here first, asshole,” the dark haired one said, climbing on top of the other red haired knight.
“I don’t think that makes much of a difference,” the one on the bottom said with a sneer.
“Do you know them?” she asked over her shoulder.
“That’s Sir Azriel,” he said, pointing at the dark haired one. “And the other is Sir Lucien.”
“And? Tell me of them.”
She looked back, to where his eyebrows had bunched on his forehead. “They’re both good,” he seemed to settle on. “I’m partial to Az because he’s like a brother, but they’d both be good to her. And they’re both fond of her, I know.”
With any other man, she would not have believed the words so easily. But he was Cassian, and she found that she trusted his input, and valued the truths that he spoke. So she turned on her heel, grabbing Ataraxia as she made her way outside.
They were too consumed in their brawl to notice her approach. “You want to marry Elain?” she asked.
Both of the men straightened up in her presence, as if they were two boys caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
The one with red hair—Sir Lucien—cleared his throat, and said, “Yes, my lady.”
She was silent for a few moments, giving the pretense that she was deliberating. Then, she threw Ataraxia onto the grass.
“Figure it out amongst yourselves,” she said. “I have somewhere to be.”
***
It didn’t take long for the two knights to scramble off, dashing back into the forest. When she could no longer see them, Cassian joined her outside, and they once again prepared to depart.
Nesta patted Ruby’s nose as Cassian tacked her up. She admired the way he bent over, how a few stray curls made their way free from how he had it haphazardly tied behind his head.
Ruby pushed into her hand, looking for treats. “She likes me better,” Nesta said.
“She does not.” Cassian ducked under her neck, fixing the saddle on the other side. “Speaking of pets, what’s Bryaxis going to do while we’re gone?”
“Oh, I don’t feed him,” Nesta said. “There’s nothing I can catch that he’d be that interested in, anyway.”
Cassian visibly shuddered, looking up from where he tightened one of the leather straps. “Your cat freaks me out.”
“Again, not a cat.”
“Yes. He’s made that perfectly clear, thanks.”
She chuckled. “He likes you, at least. If he didn’t, he would’ve torn you up ages ago.”
“Reassuring.” Cassian stepped back, patting Ruby’s neck as he joined her. “I’m not going to ask how you came into the possession of a beast that takes the form of a common house cat, because I have a feeling it’s a long story.” He kissed her cheek. “And one that you’ll tell me eventually.”
She thought of the story—of how she’d tracked down the beast in the darkest parts of the forest. Offered him the hearts of the cowardly men who trespassed and overstayed their welcome, and a warm roof over his head, in exchange for the protection that came with his fangs and claws.
A symbiotic relationship, if she had to put a word to it.
“You would be right.”
Cassian merely waved it off, and motioned for her to step to the horse’s side.
He placed her on the saddle, leading the two of them through the forest by the reins. He kept his hand at his sword, as if expecting some threat to appear. She wondered if he was always this way when he ventured through the trees, or if it was different, now that she sat on Ruby’s back.
His more than occasional glance over his shoulder confirmed there may have been some merit to the latter.
When the forest cleared, he joined her in the saddle. She felt the warmth almost immediately as Cassian pressed up against her back, drawing her closer to him with an arm around her waist. Her body relaxed into his, letting him steer Ruby closer to the castle gates. Towards home.
Ruby ran through the grass, and Cassian kept his grip firmly around her, not willing to let her go. And all too soon, they passed underneath the first of the gates, towards the edges of the city.
Knowing he was behind her gave her the confidence to bring down her hood, letting the fabric down to her shoulders.
The sun streamed down, a delicate warmth in the setting light as they walked the cobblestone streets. There were women unclipping the last of their laundry from the lines and putting them into baskets, and the children in the streets paused in their playing, peering at her while Cassian clicked his tongue, urging Ruby along.
Some of the kids ran off, returning with their friends, their mothers, their fathers.
Slowly, the pool of people became larger, thicker, as they emerged from their homes to see who Cassian brought home.
They loved him, she realized. The children watched him with awe, at the show of strength he displayed. They looked up to him.
There was no one better suited for it.
“Nervous?” he asked, tightening his arm slightly around her.
She scowled. “No.”
Even though he couldn’t see her do it, he chuckled at the tone of her voice anyways. “They’re excited to see you.” He leaned in even closer. “Their princess, the woman I am to marry.”
A moment later, “The woman that I love.”
Something about how he said it in her ear, the low gravel, the assurance, had her taking in a sharp breath. Only he could say things like that, could take her apart with just a simple statement.
She wasn’t used to a man being so…steady. Immovable as her insecurities crashed, unyielding in his affection.
It was everything she loved about him.
They spent the rest of the ride in a comfortable silence, and Nesta even dared to smile at some of the folks they passed on their way, giving polite dips of her chin to those that waved. Those looks of shock turned to fondness—that Cassian had found happiness. 
Fondness that was extended to her, even though they barely knew her.
Cassian guided Ruby into the castle courtyard, where the sound of clashing steel echoed over the stone. He dismounted first, his thighs flexing as he landed in the dirt. Then he brought his hands to her waist, lifting her from the saddle with ease. 
He placed her down right in front of him.
“I can get off of a horse myself,” she said.
“Can you?” he whispered. His hands lingered on her waist a few seconds longer than he needed to, though Nesta couldn’t say that she minded. “I wouldn’t want you to fall, sweetheart.”
Maybe he just liked having her close. He’d been that way with her all day, not letting her out of arm’s reach for more than a few minutes. 
With heated cheeks, she realized the rest of the knights were watching. Despite pretending they were busy training, or talking with each other, she knew they were watching every single moment of this interaction.
He cleared his throat. With a flourish, he bowed and brought her hand to his lips.
His eyes flickered up, hazel dancing through his dark eyelashes, and all she could think about was how those eyes met hers in the same way only that morning, his lips on a decidedly less honorable place.
He seemed to remember it too, the corner of his mouth rising into a smirk.
“My lady,” he murmured against her skin.
She fought her blush with everything she had, but she still felt it painting her cheeks. “Don’t call me that.”
Cassian’s grin was a feral thing. “My apologies,” he drawled, “princess.”
Oh, mother.
Princess. The word echoed around the courtyard, whispered from one person to the next. It didn’t surprise her. She hadn’t been seen here in any formal capacity for years, after all. It was too much to ask for her return to be…quiet.
No one dared to approach, though, only looking in with shock, frozen in her peripheral.
Rhys found them first, arching a singular brow when he saw Nesta on Cassian’s arm. 
She’d met the arrogant asshole years ago, when she’d knocked him down a peg in front of his father. He hadn’t seemed to like that.
He seemed to recognize her as well, his gaze hardening as he approached.
He bowed his head, offering deference. “Princess Nesta.”
“Sir Rhysand.”
“Come, now. Only my enemies call me that.” 
Her brow lifted. “And you have many of those?”
His teeth glinted as he gave her a cruel looking smile. “Some things never change, I see.”
Cassian threw his arm around Nesta almost immediately, stroking his fingers against her as he held her in his steady grip.
“Rhys,” he said, a cautious edge to his voice that she wasn’t familiar with. “I’d like to introduce you to my future wife.”
She looked up at him, noticed the set of his jaw in a firm expression. Cassian had his brow raised at Rhys, almost as if daring him to say something.
Drawing his line in the sand. 
Rhys blinked. He paused, his mind thinking, before nodding slowly. “Congratulations to you both. I suppose I’ll be your brother in law soon in more ways than one.”
Cassian noticeably relaxed, the arm around her shifting more towards a touch of affection, rather than a protective one. As if Rhys would be able to harm her, anyway. Even though she didn’t technically need it, the gesture was nice, regardless.
It took a couple of seconds for the words to register. “Feyre?” she asked.
“Yes. We’re to be wed.”
“How the hell did you get her to agree?” Cassian asked. “Last you told me, things were…” he grimaced beside her. “Rocky, if I recall.”
Of all things, Rhys looked away and blushed. “A story for another time.”
Nesta narrowed her eyes. If the red mark on his neck was anything to go by, there was more to the situation than he let on. She’d be talking to Feyre later, to get the details. Although, she didn’t have too much room to judge given the way she had let Cassian have her just that morning.
“Nesta!” Feyre dashed down the palace steps, running towards her.
She slammed into her, hugging her as if she hadn’t seen her in years. Maybe…maybe she’d spent too much time away from this place.
Nesta hugged her back. “Hi, Feyre.”
Feyre leaned back, and beamed. “Welcome home.”
***
Nesta’s father smiled broadly when he saw that she’d chosen Cassian. She’d noticed him fidgeting and trying to hide the nervousness from his smiles ever since he broke apart from his conversation with Rhys, and part of her knew that he was terrified of the judgment her father would give.
He’d told her of the insecurities he faced, of being looked down on in the knighthood for his lower status. She hadn’t cared one bit, even though her mother had insisted once that only a duke or a prince would ever suit her. But the woman was dead, and couldn’t input her opinions anymore.
And quite frankly, Nesta hadn’t paid any mind to her words after her mother sent her away. 
Her father welcomed him with open arms, though, saying he was glad to have Cassian as a son. She could have sworn Cassian froze as the man hugged him, eyes comically wide, before returning the gesture. 
Then her father proclaimed they would be wed the following night.
That evening, they ate and they drank as they celebrated the upcoming union. And when Nesta’s mind started to go blurry, Cassian guided her from her seat, gently holding her wrists and saying she’d had enough.
They were set up in different rooms the night before. It was tradition, and as far as everyone knew, Nesta was still virtuous. 
So while the hall was rowdy and chatter made its way through the halls, Cassian led her to her room and paused in the doorway. His was right across from her—so they wouldn’t truly be too far apart, but it felt like it regardless.
He drew her close and placed a kiss on her forehead. “This’ll be our last night apart, princess. I promise,” he said.
She grabbed his wrist, trying to pull him inside. But he stopped her with an easy flex of his muscles, not letting himself be persuaded otherwise.
“You’re drunk,” he said, chuckling. “We’ll play all you want later. Get some rest, you’re going to need it tomorrow.”
They shared one last kiss before he broke away, Cassian pressing his forehead to hers, and Nesta longed for the following night. When she could drag him into her room, and no one would blink an eye.
She watched his retreating form reach his door before she closed her own. And when the world had gone quiet, and she made her way into her bed, she shut her eyes.
***
Nesta ran her hands over the smooth fabric of her gown. For the wedding being this last minute, it was perfect—a satin gown of deep red that she knew Cassian would nearly weep over.
Two ladies from the palace pinned small braids atop her head into an updo that weaved across itself. While she typically favored her coronet, this seemed to suit the occasion. 
They were twins, from the look of it. They chattered as they worked, and Nesta was content to let them gossip the morning away. 
She had years of gossip to catch up on, after all.
“Could you give us a minute?”
Feyre’s voice was the last thing she expected to hear. In the mirror, she could see her sister standing in the doorway, paused by a slight hesitation and an unsure smile.
“Feyre.”
The ladies left the room silently, bowing their heads as they passed her sister. Feyre took a seat on the settee in the corner.
“You look beautiful,” Feyre said.  “Cassian’s a very lucky man.”
Nesta snorted. “It depends on how you look at it, I suppose.” 
“I think we’ll have to disagree on that,” she said lightly. Feyre stalled for a minute. “Elain arrived back today.”
“Did she?” Nesta’s mouth curved up. “With a suitor in hand?”
“With two.” She heard Feyre shifting in her seat. “It’s caused quite a scandal. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”
Nesta hummed. “I might have been a little distracted.”
“With a certain hulking knight?” Nesta lifted her eyebrows, meeting her sister’s inquisitive look through the mirror. But her sister waved it off. “I’m the last person to judge. Those three can be…persuasive,” she clarified. 
Nesta just stared for a moment, unused to the openness between them. The familiarity in the words. But she couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. “That’s one way to describe it.” Her eyes crinkled with it, and she said, “I’ve missed you, Feyre.”
Feyre’s expression turned hopeful. “Does this mean you’re going to come back home?”
“Can I say that I haven’t decided yet?” Nesta asked. Her shoulders tensed slightly, waiting for her sister’s response. Not that she thought Feyre would cast her off, but…
She’d seen the look of disappointment on Feyre’s face too many times to count, on the days where her little sister begged her to stay instead of returning to the forest. She’d always hated being the cause of it.
But Feyre merely smiled. “You’d make a wonderful queen,” she offered. “If you want a reason to stay.”
“I always thought you would,” Nesta rebutted. “You’ve always been brave, when I never was.”
“Well, that’s not true in the slightest,” Feyre said. “You were always my big sister. Nothing could scare you. Plus,” Feyre added, “You have no trouble keeping all those knights in line. I think you could manage to rule a kingdom.”
“I’m not certain I wish to,” Nesta admitted. “Listen, Feyre. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here, that I didn’t—”
“Don’t,” Feyre said, cutting her off. “I get it, Nesta, I do. It sucked, but I understand why you stayed away.” Her sister stood, joining her in front of the mirror. The next thing she knew, Feyre had wrapped her in a hug, holding her tightly against herself. “I just hope it doesn’t always have to be that way.”
They broke apart, and as Feyre held her hand, her smile still on her face, Nesta couldn’t help but agree.
***
Their wedding took place that evening. 
The first thing that Nesta thought when she saw Cassian standing at the altar was that for once, he was polished. She knew he was nobility, that he was the son of a lord, but this was the first time that he truly looked the part.
He’d always been beautiful in the rugged way, like he was carved from stone. Like the gods themselves had crafted him in their hands. It was the sort of beauty that was wild, that was not meant to be kept behind palace gates.
Today, though, that wild hair was contained behind his head. Instead of armor, he donned his court finery: nice pants and a black tunic with silver embroidered on the edges. Over top, he wore a dark red jacket. Simple, but elegant.
His mouth broke into a wide grin when he saw her at the door. And she found her heart filled with hope, with every step that she took towards him.
It went faster than what she wanted. A priestess named Gwyn tied their hands together with a white ribbon. His palm was beneath hers as she promised her undying devotion, and he squeezed her hand as he did the same. 
His voice wavered as he repeated the words, sparing no attention for the crowd that had formed beyond them, curious to see their princess again. No, it was fully on her. His eyes locked on her own, tears swimming with the hazel, swearing off all others and tying his life to hers. 
She watched as those tears formed fully, streaming down his face as he finished the words, and the priestess started her speech.
And before she knew it, Nesta was declared his wife.
He smiled into their kiss. Chaste, and merely a promise of what was to come later, when she had him alone.
The last few days had been a whirlwind, but Cassian’s hands kept her steady, gentle as they held each other in silent embrace where they stood. The guests began to filter out, but Cassian took the moment to hold her there with him, only separating from her to cup her face in his hands.
“You look beautiful today,” he murmured.
“You don’t look too bad yourself.” She reached up to wipe those tears away. “Let’s go make an appearance, husband.”
***
The mid summer breeze was cool when they stepped outside of the temple. There were cheers as they walked through the courtyard and into the great hall, which was bedecked for the celebration.
Despite the short turnaround, Nesta’s father went all out: there was a feast that could feed hundreds, with a roasted pig and barrels of mulled wine that filled goblet after goblet along the walls.
Cassian didn’t hesitate to spin her around and around on the dance floor, and when the guests were distracted he pulled her into an empty alcove where only the echoes of the music could find them.
She half expected him to kiss her right then and there. He hadn’t touched her in over a day, and he was probably as restless as she was. 
He offered her his hand instead, leading her into him gently as the orchestra began another tune. She raised a questioning eyebrow.
“One dance, just the two of us. With no one watching,” he explained.
Her heart melted a bit at that. He pulled her in closer, humming softly to the music that played while they swayed together. 
And although knowing the little things would come over following months, and years, she felt at home in his arms. She knew him. Her soul knew his, connected on some level that she couldn’t explain. Maybe it didn’t need an explanation.
Nesta wasn’t afraid of what she saw. And neither was he.
People she hadn’t seen in years came up to congratulate them as the night went on. With each interaction, her back tensed up tighter and tighter, until Cassian finally took notice and drew her away.
“Should we turn in for the night?”
She blushed slightly, imagining what the guests might say about their early departure. But she found she didn’t care about it in the slightest. She nodded, and his hand slid to the small of her back as he led them to their quarters for the night.
Once he shut the door, Cassian kissed her once, twice before slowly turning her around so she faced away from him.
He started undoing the buttons down her back, his large fingers struggling to separate the tiny things from the fabric that held them together.
“Who designed this?” he asked, curiosity lacing his tone. “The enemy of husbands everywhere.”
She stifled her laugh, trying to stay as still as possible. “It’s part of the wedding night experience, struggling to get your bride’s dress off her.”
“I think you’d be disappointed, sweetheart, if I struggled too much to get it off.”
She was just glad he hadn’t gone the route of ripping it off her body. Though, to be fair, he’d nearly done it the morning before. He was more in control today, content to enjoy the moments of the day as they happened.
And she liked this dress. She was glad it wouldn’t become a pile of shredded fabric, destroyed by a man with no taste.
Once he got it to a point where he could, Cassian pushed the dress off of her shoulders, but there were still buttons going all the way down to her waist.
“At this rate, it'll take all night,” she muttered.
“It’s ok, Nes. I’m a patient man.” His breath was right there, hitting the ridge of her ear. “I’ll have you in that bed soon enough.”
“Something tells me you’re not patient at all.”
“You’re in a mood today, aren’t you?” Cassian bent over then, picking up the bottom hem of the gown and bunching it around her waist. “Since I’m apparently so impatient, maybe I should just fuck you in this.”
She whimpered softly, letting her head fall back to rest on his shoulder. Which he took advantage of. He hummed, leaning in to press his lips into the side of her neck. Her cheek. Her ear. 
“Is that how you want it, Nes? Rough and uncontrolled?” 
“I—” Nesta could barely speak.
Even though she couldn’t see it, she could feel the smirk that graced his lips. “Where do you want me to take you, then? The desk? The wall?” He nipped at the bottom of her ear. “The floor?”
“That’ll destroy your knees.”
“So be it.”
Before he could begin his plan, though, Nesta turned in his hold. She took his chin in her hand, pressed between firm fingers, holding him right where she wanted. His smile only grew.
“Maybe I wish to take you.”
“I don’t think you could manage it,” he teased.
She hummed, considering, then gave a gentle tug with her hand. She watched intently as he bent over, amused as the large, hulky knight that was her husband allowed himself to be pulled without complaint. 
“I’m going to be on top,” she said.
One slow hand ran down her back. “Are you?”
The flecks of green in his eyes sparkled in the candlelight, like tiny stars that were only hers to look at. They roved over her. “In the dress, I hope?”
She scoffed, rolling her eyes, despite knowing she didn’t want to go through the process of taking it off, either.
“Lie down, husband, so I can have my way with you.”
She caught the hitch of his breath, the indication that he was just as excited about the prospect as she was.
He took off his jacket first.
Then, with a fluid motion, he tugged his shirt over his head, revealing the prominent lines of muscles on his abdomen. Which he made sure to flex as he dragged the shirt from his shoulders.
Her mouth parted, struck by the beauty of her husband. Everything from his tanned skin, to the stunning hazel of his eyes, to the jawline that could forge steel. 
He undid his hair, and it fell into its normal waves. All of the heat she normally felt when she looked at him intensified, and he smirked.
He took a step back towards the bed. “Whatever you command, wife.”
***
She didn’t know if she would ever get used to how sweet he could be after they came together.
He kissed her softly, worshiping her like a goddess, and asking if she needed any water, or food, or blankets. Even though she had been the one to ride him until he couldn’t think straight, holding his release with an unrelenting grip until he begged her for it, somehow he was still taking care of her.
She’d collapsed next to him, stray hair from her updo sticking to the sides of her face from sweat. He’d brushed them away, his soothing hands running over her skin, lingering at the dress still bunched at her torso. “Let’s get this off of you, yeah? I wouldn’t want it to be ruined.”
He carefully undid the last of her buttons so that it could slide down past her hips. Then she was bare, and she realized as he held it out to her that he’d brought over a shirt for her to change into, one of his. She blinked away tears as large hands found each of the pins in her hair, removing them and letting it cascade down her back. He ran his fingers through it, combing out the tangles that had gathered over the course of the day, with a heartbreaking tenderness.
“Are you feeling okay?” he asked, once he’d hung the dress on the chair in the corner, returning to the bed with her. “I know that was intense.”
She was still tingling with the aftershocks of pleasure, but Nesta found she was completely relaxed. “I’m perfect,” she said. “Come to bed with me, Cassian.”
She grabbed his hand, pulling him beside her, and they made their way under the covers.
“No one else,” he said. “For either of us.”
“No one else,” she replied. With one more kiss before she settled, Nesta said, “Cassian. I love you.”
Her brave knight hummed, and his steady arms were around her once again. This was right where she belonged. The thought came to her as her eyes drifted closed, as she burrowed deeper into the warmth of his body.
“I love you too, Nesta,” he whispered, as she teetered on the edge of being asleep.
It was the last thing she recalled, before she dipped into unconsciousness. And while she safely slept in Cassian’s arms, she couldn’t deny the pure contentment that flowed through her.
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m4rv3l-girl · 15 hours ago
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You and Bucky have been put on a hydra mission with Steve and Sam and bucky doesn't want you to go on the mission because he knows how bad hydra can be. After the meeting briefing, you and Bucky go back to Bucky's room and you both have a massive arguement about the mission and Bucky comes out and says that he can't concentrate on the mission and look after you even though he knew you can look after yourself. So that night you slept in your own room, you and Bucky didn't speak at all for days and even when getting ready for the mission you guys didn't look at each other. While on the mission you got paired with Steve, due to the atmosphere between you and Bucky, while scoping out the place with Steve you get separated and you get losted and end up getting ambushed by hydra and you fight off as many as you can but you end up getting injured badly and Bucky can hear the pain in your voice as you are talking over the Comms and then he hears Steve call for Sam to get you back to base asap because you are hurt badly. After Bucky hears that he feels his heart drop into his stomach and his whole world comes crashing down. Once Bucky gets back to the base he doesn't even change he comes straight to find you and he eventually finds you and you are in the hospital bed with tubes and wires attached to you and wounds covering your chest. He breaks down and sits beside your bed and holds your hand, apologizing about what he said and about what happend, and how much he needs you and he stays by your bed till you wake up and once you wake up you feel him holding your hand and you look down and see him with his head on your bed sleeping with tear stained cheeks and you remove your hand from his and gently stroke his hair and he jumps awake and looks at you in disbelief and starts crying again and you raise your hands to him wanting a hug and he climbs on your bed beside you and wraps his arms around you, telling you how much he missed you and how much he is sorry
Need some heart wrenching angst
And then mega fluff
The Rift
Bucky x Y/N
Warnings: Angst. Slight mention of injury and violence.
The conference room at the Avengers compound was unusually quiet, the air heavy with unspoken tension.
The stark light illuminated the holographic display at the center of the room, where a map detailed the mission ahead: a Hydra base, deep in an isolated forest. Steve Rogers was leading the briefing, his voice steady as he outlined the plan. Beside him, Sam Wilson added occasional notes. But Y/N wasn’t listening—not fully. Her focus kept shifting to the man sitting beside her.
Bucky Barnes’ jaw was clenched, his metal fingers tapping a sharp rhythm against the table. His eyes never left the display, but Y/N knew his attention wasn’t on the mission—it was on her.
"Y/N, you'll be paired with me during reconnaissance," Steve was saying, drawing her attention back. "Sam and Bucky will handle the infiltration. Once we secure the intel, we regroup and—"
"Wait," Bucky interrupted, his voice low but firm. "Why is Y/N even on this mission?"
The room fell silent, every eye turning to him. Steve’s brows furrowed. "Because she's qualified, Buck. We need her skills."
"Qualified or not, she shouldn't be here." Bucky's tone was sharper now, his glare directed at Steve but his words clearly meant for Y/N.
Y/N felt her stomach twist. "Excuse me?" she said, her voice steady despite the surge of anger building inside her.
Bucky didn’t look at her. "You know what Hydra’s capable of. This isn’t like the other missions. It’s—"
"Enough, Buck," Steve cut in, his voice firm. "We’re a team. This isn’t up for debate."
But Bucky’s jaw was set, and Y/N knew this was far from over.
The door to Bucky’s room slammed shut behind them, and Y/N whirled to face him, arms crossed. “What the hell was that, Barnes?”
He ran a hand through his hair, pacing like a caged animal. “I’m trying to keep you safe, Y/N.”
“I don’t need you to keep me safe!” she shot back, her voice rising. “I’m an Avenger, Bucky. I’ve faced Hydra before, or have you forgotten?”
“That’s not the point!” he yelled, finally turning to face her. “You don’t understand what it’s like. What they’re capable of—what they’ll do if they get their hands on you.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t you dare patronize me. I know exactly what Hydra is capable of. I’ve been fighting them as long as you have.”
“And I’m supposed to just watch you walk into their hands?” His voice cracked, the vulnerability breaking through the anger. “I can’t do it, Y/N. I can’t be on this mission and look after you.”
Y/N took a step back, the words hitting her like a blow. “You think I need you to look after me?”
“That’s not what I—” He stopped, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. “I know you can take care of yourself. But if something happens to you—”
“Then I’ll deal with it,” she snapped. “Like I always do. Or don’t you trust me anymore?”
“That’s not it!” he roared, his voice echoing off the walls. “I trust you. It’s them I don’t trust. And I can’t focus on the mission if I’m worried about you.”
For a moment, neither of them spoke, the weight of his confession hanging heavy in the air. Y/N’s heart ached, but her anger refused to let her relent. “Then maybe you shouldn’t be on this mission,” she said coldly, turning on her heel and walking out before he could respond.
The days that followed were a blur of strained silences and avoidance. Y/N moved into her old room, leaving the shared space she and Bucky had called home. They barely spoke, each word clipped and professional, the warmth and ease between them replaced by an unbearable tension.
When the morning of the mission arrived, the atmosphere was no better. In the hangar, Y/N strapped on her gear without sparing Bucky a glance. Steve noticed but didn’t comment, though Sam raised an eyebrow, clearly aware something was wrong.
“Let’s stay focused, team,” Steve said as they boarded the jet. “We’re in and out. No risks, no unnecessary heroics.”
Y/N felt Bucky’s eyes on her as she took her seat across from him, but she refused to look his way. If he wanted to act like she was a liability, fine. She’d prove him wrong.
The Hydra base loomed in the distance, a stark fortress hidden among the trees. The team split up as planned—Y/N and Steve circling to the north for reconnaissance while Bucky and Sam took the southern route.
Y/N moved through the forest with practiced ease, her eyes scanning the surroundings. Steve kept pace beside her, his shield at the ready. “You and Bucky okay?” he asked quietly.
“Fine,” she lied, not breaking stride.
Steve didn’t push, but his concerned glance didn’t go unnoticed. They reached the perimeter of the base without incident, using the cover of the trees to scope out the guards and cameras. But as they moved to reposition, something went wrong. A burst of static in her comms was the only warning before the Hydra agents appeared, cutting her off from Steve.
“Y/N?” Steve’s voice crackled in her ear. “Where are you?”
“Separated,” she replied, ducking behind a tree as gunfire erupted. “I’ll find another route back to you.”
“Be careful,” Steve said, his voice tight.
She didn’t have time to respond before the first agent lunged at her. The fight was brutal and chaotic, her training keeping her alive as she took down one opponent after another. But the odds were against her, and it wasn’t long before a blow to her side sent her crashing to the ground.
Her comms activated as she gasped for breath. “Steve,” she panted, her voice weak. “I’m—”
“Y/N?” Bucky’s voice cut in, sharp with panic. “What’s happening?”
She struggled to sit up, blood staining her side. “I’m fine,” she lied, her vision swimming. “Just—just a scratch.”
“Sam, get to her now!” Steve barked over the comms.
“On it,” Sam replied, his voice steady even as Bucky’s broke through again, desperate. “Y/N, talk to me. Where are you?”
Her strength was fading fast. “North quadrant,” she managed before the world blurred around her.
When Bucky arrived back at the base, his heart was racing. He didn’t stop to change out of his blood-stained gear, sprinting through the halls until he found the medical bay.
There she was, lying pale and still on the hospital bed, tubes and wires attached to her. The sight stole the breath from his lungs, his knees nearly buckling beneath him.
Her lips were dry and cracked, the faint rise and fall of her chest the only indication that she was still alive. An oxygen mask covered her face, the soft hiss of the machine a cruel reminder of her fragility. IV drips hung beside her bed, delivering what her battered body needed to heal, while monitors beeped steadily, the sound both a relief and a torment.
Bucky’s gaze flicked to her hands—one of them bruised, with faint scratches along the knuckles from where she had fought. His heart clenched at the sight. She had fought so hard, just as she always did, even when the odds weren’t in her favor. The thought made his throat tighten.
She shouldn’t have had to.
His metal hand twitched at his side, a heavy weight he hadn’t noticed until now. The memory of her voice, strained and trembling over the comms, echoed in his mind like a haunting melody. He had failed her. The one person he swore he’d protect, and she lay here now, a broken reminder of his fears brought to life.
Bucky reached out hesitantly, his flesh fingers brushing against hers. Her hand was cold, too cold, and the sensation sent a shiver through him. His jaw clenched as he sank heavily into the chair beside the bed, his body curling forward as if the force of his guilt had physically struck him. He wanted to say something, to beg her to wake up, to scream his apologies into the void—but the lump in his throat made it impossible.
“Y/N,” he whispered, collapsing into the chair beside her. He took her hand in his, the warmth of her skin grounding him even as tears streamed down his face. “I’m so sorry,” he choked out. “This is my fault. I should’ve—God, I should’ve been there.”
He stayed by her side, his head resting on the edge of the bed as exhaustion and grief overwhelmed him.
🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸
The sterile hum of the medical bay was the first thing Y/N registered as she began to wake. The faint beeping of monitors nearby filled the silence, a rhythm that synced uncomfortably with the dull ache radiating through her chest and side. She blinked, her vision blurry at first before the room sharpened into focus.
Her gaze fell downward to find a familiar head resting on the edge of the bed. Bucky’s long hair was disheveled, strands falling over his face as he slept, one hand still clutching hers like a lifeline. The faint trails of dried tears on his cheeks broke her heart in an instant.
Her other hand moved instinctively, trembling as she reached out and gently brushed her fingers through his hair. The soft, repetitive motion caused him to stir, his head lifting abruptly, and his stormy blue eyes locking onto hers in an instant. The emotions that flickered through them—shock, relief, guilt—were overwhelming.
“Y/N,” he breathed, his voice cracking. “You’re awake.”
Her lips quirked faintly despite the heaviness in her chest. “Yeah,” she murmured, her voice hoarse. “Still here.”
Bucky let out a broken sound, halfway between a laugh and a sob, as he reached for her face, his calloused fingers trembling as they brushed her cheek. “God, I thought I lost you. I—” He cut himself off, his voice faltering as tears filled his eyes again.
“Hey,” Y/N whispered, her brows knitting together as she weakly squeezed his hand. “I’m okay, Buck. I’m right here.”
He shook his head, his jaw tightening as he tried to steady himself. “No, it’s not okay. None of this is okay.” his gaze dropped to their joined hands, his metal one gently cradling hers. “I should’ve been there. I should’ve fought harder to keep you safe, should’ve—”
“You fought harder to push me away,” she interrupted softly, the weight of their earlier argument still hanging between them. “I don’t need you to save me, Bucky. I just need you to trust me—to believe in me.”
“I do,” he whispered fiercely, his voice breaking. “I do trust you. I just… I’m so afraid of losing you, Y/N. And when I’m afraid, I do stupid things. I push you away, say things I don’t mean—” His breath hitched, and he closed his eyes tightly, tears slipping free. “But when I heard you on that comm, hurt and fighting for your life, and I wasn’t there…”
Y/N squeezed his hand again, her heart aching as she watched him crumble in front of her. “Bucky,” she said gently, and when his eyes opened, they were shimmering with unspoken pain. “Come here.”
He hesitated, like he wasn’t sure he deserved it, but the moment she reached for him, he broke. In a single motion, he climbed carefully onto the bed, mindful of the wires and bandages, and wrapped his arms around her as gently as he could. His metal arm slid beneath her shoulders while his flesh hand cupped the back of her head, pulling her close to his chest as though afraid she’d disappear if he let go.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmured into her hair, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. For everything I said, for everything I didn’t say. For not being there when you needed me.”
Her own tears welled up, but she kept her voice steady as she whispered against him, “I need you to stop blaming yourself. None of this was your fault, Buck. And I know you love me—you wouldn’t act this way if you didn’t. But you can’t keep trying to protect me from everything.”
He pulled back just enough to meet her gaze, his hands trembling as they cupped her face. “I know,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I know I can’t. But I don’t know how to stop being terrified of losing you. You’re my whole world, Y/N. If something happened to you—” His voice cracked again, and he pressed his forehead to hers, his tears spilling onto her cheeks. “I can’t lose you. I can’t.”
Her heart clenched, her hands lifting to cup his face as she wiped his tears with her thumbs. “I’m not going anywhere,” she promised softly. “We’re a team, Bucky. And I need you to let me fight beside you, not behind you.”
He nodded shakily, his forehead still pressed to hers. “I’ll try,” he murmured. “I’ll try to do better. Just… please don’t leave me, doll.”
“Never,” she whispered back. “I couldn’t even imagine it.”
For a moment, they stayed like that, holding each other as the weight of the past few days began to lift. When Bucky finally shifted, he pressed a soft kiss to her temple before settling beside her, his arms still wrapped protectively around her.
“You need to rest,” he murmured, his voice still raw but steadier now. “You’re not getting rid of me, though. I’m staying right here.”
Y/N smiled faintly, her head resting against his chest. “Good,” she whispered. “I don’t want you anywhere else.”
As her breathing evened out and she drifted back into sleep, Bucky tightened his hold on her, his lips brushing against her hair. “I’ll never let you go,” he murmured.
“Not ever again.”
——————————————————————————————————
I really hope you liked this, I’ve gotten into a love-love relationship with writing angst! 🫶
Requests Open! (Remember they can be sent anonymously! ❤️)
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atheotic · 2 hours ago
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃𝐒 𝐄𝐍𝐃
╰ SHOW ﹕ ARCANE !
︵ WARNING(S) ﹕╰ swearing ⸝ violence ﹕ sex
︵ relationship ﹕ Vi x fem!fragile!reader x Caitlyn
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⟣・S2・HEAVY IS THE CROWN︰
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THE SOUND OF screaming could be heard when you had awoken from being on the ground, your hair in a messy style as you couldn’t see your surroundings. was Jayce and viktor okay? was everyone alright? mel..? of course you wouldn’t know, everything in your body hurt, it felt like some sort of piece of metal lodged in your side.
Being a well trained solider had its many perks but you weren’t prepared for this. Of course you weren’t. like they say, the most unexpected things come.
For you though it felt a little far fetched whenever your mom would tell you the stories about the ghost and salem. Where the witch would be haunted down and hunted but towards the end they found her having did no wrong doing.
Sad tale it was. really.
Everything on your body hurt like hell, the only voice you could hear was Jayce’s. was he carrying you and viktor? probably.
That dude had some incredible strength.
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JAYCE SITS IN a chair with his head in his hand, looking over at viktor who lays inside the hextech. seeing you and viktor in this condition was tearing him limb from limb, not in a gruesome way but a much more sadder way.
He had hated not being able to protect the both of you, it felt like hell. But you know, some things just come and go…you lay there on a bed with a bunch of iv’s attached to your arms and lower half, your hair was in a messy bun since Jayce had tried thing it himself.
Mel walks inside his office as she takes a look around, her eyes landing on Jayce. “How are they?” She questioned.
“Same as before. They’re both breathing.” Jayce answers in reply, a distressed look on his face. “Their pluses are consistent. Beyond that, your guess is as good as mines.”
Mel walks over to viktor, her eyes landing on the hextech as she starts reaching her hand out with curiosity. When she goes to touch it, it reacts differently with her making her gasp and step back.
“What’s it doing to him?” Mel questions.
“The hexcore has been evolving.” Jayce explains, “shifting through runic patters faster than I can keep up. All I know for certain is that it’s keeping him and her alive.”
Jayce eyes land on where you laid, his heart aching with devastation as he sees you reacting differently to the hextech aside from viktor, your body was rejecting it but also accepting it at the same time.
If it was the only thing keeping you alive he wasn’t gonna mess with it.
“It should be me up there instead of him. I should be laying in that bed instead of her,” Jayce grumbled, gesturing to an unconscious you on the bed barely breathing. “Vi and cait are gonna lose it.”
“Don’t say that.” Mel placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “They’ll both come back to us.”
“I still don’t understand.” Jayce replies. “They were both right next to me. How does the explosion do that to them, and I just…? I just walk out without a scratch? [name] almost lost a hand, my god.”
Mel sighs. “There’s no sense to these things, Jayce.”
The male was quiet for a while before speaking again, “how’d it go with the council?” he asks.
Mel scoffs. “My mother’s entered the game. She’s already gotten her hooks into salo. Using his grief to make a play for hextech.”
“Mel, I promised viktor, never again.” Jayce tells the woman.
Mel places her hand over his. “It’s all right. I handled it. I won’t let them corrupt your dream.”
Jayce looks over at an unconscious you again, before laying his head on mel’s thighs, tears threaten to fall down his eyes but he holds them back.
He just wanted you and viktor back, that’s all.
You were very important to caitlyn and vi after all.
“I should get going now.” Mel says, “you might want to spend some alone time with them.”
With that, she stood up and patted his shoulder one last time before walking out the door. The door slams shut behind her by itself, making Jayce flinch a little.
He feels you stir, his head perks up immediately.
When it does, he saw you already staring at him, a confused look on your gaze.
“What was that about?” You questioned, sitting up with your back pressed against the pillows. It was a little hard to breathe but it was manageable with the breathing machine.
“I don’t even care-- i just-- you’re--?” Jayce launches forward and pulls you into a huge, a huge so tight you had gasped. He wasn’t hugging you too tight as though you couldn’t breathe— he just hugged you with desperation and worry.
“Woah! hey, hey, it’s okay.” You reassured, patting his back. “I’m okay.”
He was so happy to hear your voice.
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“ONE OF THE MANY PRIVILEGES OF SERVING AS YOUR COUNCILOR IS HAVING THE OCCASION NOW AND AGAIN TO STAND BEHIND THIS PODIUM TO BEHOLD SO MANY JOINED TOGETHER NOT BY BIRTH OR DICTUM BUT BY ALL THAT WE SHARE.” MEL SPOKE as you stood by the other guards to keep watch, your back was leaned against the wall as the wound with the patch on your side was being healed. Your biceps flexing under the light as your toned abs still hurting from the explosion, but the wounds would heal, you were sure.
You glanced down at the tattoo on your hip and let your thumb graze over it, remembering when it was given.
You see one of the enforcers walk past you, you look them up and down by their attire before your brows furrowed— something felt wrong.
Heading into the crowd you lock gazes with vi, the both of you nodding towards one another before following the enforcer. But another person caught your attention as well, making you turn around and face the other way.
“The hell..?” You whisper lowly.
You push past the crowd of civilians as your hips sway when walking, and you walked with a purpose.
To figure out who the hell these people were.
Walking over to the other enforcers you climbed over the railing, your thighs still hurting but of course you forgot to bring your crutches for support. But it’s whatever.
“Wait, wait, ma’am you can’t--“
“Excuse me, I’m an enforcer too.” You say firmly as your eyes narrowed at the man. “So I can get pass, just like the rest of you.”
“We can’t even go in, so we can’t let you in either.”one of the enforcers replies. “Plus, you’re still injured from the attack so…”
Your piercing (e/c) eyes looked into the man’s brown ones, making his eyes widen a little— least to say, he was intimidated.
“Move, please,” you pleaded this time. “I feel like something is very wrong.”
Caitlyn looks over her shoulder and noticed the panicked look on your face— you would never randomly fuss about anything.
She knew something was wrong.
“Awful, isn’t it?”
Jayce looks over his shoulder when he hears a woman’s voice.
“Losing a loved one.”
When Jayce slowly turns around, the woman slips off her mask as she grabs her chainsaw, swining it at Jayce who barely dodged out of the way quickly.
Everyone starts screaming and shouting, rushing off to find somewhere safe.
“Get all the civilians to safety.” You told the enforcers before turning around to go and find Jayce, your leg still hurting from the explosion. you couldn’t walk around with a weak and injured leg but you thought against it.
“Jayce!” You shouted, searching for him. “Where are you? Jayce?!”
Someone suddenly slams you into a wall, making you hit the solid platform hard. A weak cry of pain escapes past your lips as you slid down the wall, clutching your arm.
Staggering to your knees, you rushed to get away from whatever was chasing you.
Get away, get away, get away
That was just going through your mind.
Something slashes in your back through your coat, “ah!” You shriek as you collapsed to your knees and hit the ground. Back arched as you tried crawling away from whatever had attacked you.
They grab onto your hair, arm wrapping around your neck once they finally got the chance to turn you around, the air in your lungs seemed to have collapsed the second they tighten their large hand around your throat.
You kick and flail your legs around as you gasped for air, eyes heavy and face turning blue as you choked— the breath you were now trying to breathe was very toxic seeping into your nostrils and throat.
You use your fists to hit at the man’s hands, he watched with a sadistic grin on his lips as the life in your eyes were starting to fade.
Your eyes roll to the back of your head as the life in your eyes seemed to have been fading.
“Get the fuck away from her!” Vi shouted as she rushed towards the much bigger man and knocked him in the face with her knee.
You collapsed to the ground, gasping for air as you clutched at your own throat.
Vi rushed over to you with concern, cupping your cheek as she leaned over you. “Are you okay? does anything hurt?”
“Vi?” You croaked weakly, grasping at her wrist.
Vi presses your hand against her fast beating chest, concern wiping her features. “It’s me. It’s me. you’re okay.”
She helps you up, “I’ll be right back. go and try to find cait, okay?”
You nodded before rushing off to find caitlyn.
“Cait!” You called out.
You couldn’t even get as far before you hit the ground, passing out.
END OF CHAPTER ONE
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