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libraryofloveletters · 4 years ago

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Soulmates In This Life & Another

Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz

Warnings: typical 911 level graphics, blood and injures, hospitals, mentions of praying, love confessions

Category: angst with some fluff at the end

Word Count: 3.7k

Author’s Note: part 2 to my buddie fic!! this can be read as a standalone but for some backstory, read Just Friends // typical 911 level of graphics but a shitter description of the scene cause I’m not a firefighter and I’m lazy

----

“It was fine.” The three words would be the beginning of the downfall of their friendship in the upcoming weeks.

A few weeks have passed since the kiss.

They were fine, as they normally were.

Buck still regularly stopped in by the Diaz residence to see his two favourite boys and hang out with them. Eddie still had Buck babysit or drop Chris off at Buck’s place when he needed to go out or if Chris just wanted to spend the day with him- but with each day came a bit more distance. The random drop bys slowed, Eddie stopped asking Buck to babysit, and eventually, they stopped seeing each other outside of work altogether.

Work was a completely different story. They still sat next to each other, they still talked but it wasn't the same. Eddie spent less and less time with Buck- Buck also taking the hint, kept his distance from Eddie, not wanting to upset him further. In the field, they worked together seamlessly- nonverbal exchanges, handing each other what they needed and assisting each other without question but all of that stopped the moment the truck pulled back into the station.

Once again, station 118 had found themselves on a 24 hour shift and again, Buck is the only one still awake. He stood by the railing, looking down at the trucks parked in the station, counting the steps on the ladders as he waited for the coffee maker to be done. He thought he was by himself until he heard some tumbling in the kitchen, he turned to see Hen- halfway into the fridge looking for something. She stood, a bottle of water in her hand when she smiled at Buck.

“Why are you moping ?” she took a sip of her water, sitting on the stool by the counter.

“I’m not moping” he says, walking back over when the coffee maker beeps.

“Okay, so why has Eddie been moping around then ?”

“Are you trying to reverse psychology me ?” he gives her a ‘are you serious’ look.

“Would you know if I was using reverse psychology on you?” she questions the man in front of her.

“Obviously” he trails off, she chuckles and shakes her head. “You and Eddie have been off the last few weeks, the moping around, the distance between the two of you- it’s awkward. What's going on?” she looks up at the blonde man who’s sipping on his coffee. Buck sighed- he wanted so much to confide in someone, to tell them about the kiss- about how he was in love with Eddie.

Except, he always confided in Eddie, it was hard to turn to someone else.

He could always go to Maddie, she would never judge him - or Bobby and Athena, they would give him advice. He knew he could turn to Hen, she’d know what to say and she’d probably tell him to follow his heart and tell Eddie how he felt.

Buck chuckled to himself at the thought of telling Eddie that he was in love with him. Hen’s brow raised, looking at Buck in confusion. It was a bit strange that he was laughing by himself at.. nothing ? But then again, it was Buck so she didn’t think much into it.

“Do you want to talk or?” she says, breaking his train of thought.

“I uh- We, Eddie and I-” he paused, unsure where to go from there.

“Evan, spit it out”

“Did you just call me Evan ?” his mouth hung open slightly and she breathed a laugh. “Yeah, that’s not the point right now.”

“We kissed.” Buck blurts out before he loses the courage to tell her.

“Finally” Hen huffs, smiling at him.

“Wait, you’re not surprised ?”

“Buck, you’ve been drooling over Eddie since your first shift with him. I’m just surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”

“Huh” was all the man said before walking off.

“Yeah, good talk” Hen mumbled before turning her attention back to the book she had with her.

---

40 minutes.

That’s how long it had been since they last heard from Buck.

He had run back into the building, even after Bobby had given him strict instructions not too but it was Buck- he never gave up.

Eddie’s heart pounded in his chest as he stood helplessly behind the truck. Bobby radioed over for Buck, the static from the radio seemed echoed although the street was busy and full of people. It took all of Eddie not to run in there and look for Buck himself- actually he almost did, finding his way to a backdoor that was still structurally sound but Hen found him and reminded him that Christopher was waiting for his dad to come home and that Buck was more than capable of getting himself out.

There he stood, Chimney and Hen beside him as Bobby radioed again. “Buckley, do you copy ?” Bobby waited for an answer but was met with static once again.

The ground beneath them rumbled, Bobby looked at his team before turning to face the building. Just as the other 3 turned, they saw the entire building collapse. A 42 story hotel had been reduced to a pile of rubble. The team braced themselves as the building came down, hoping that it would come down as it once stood, in one straight pile.

They all hoped that Buck has pulled a stupid stunt and jumped over to the next building.

Eddie couldn’t bare the thought of losing Buck. He was the first to run towards the pile of rubble, pulling whatever he could pull and shouting for Buck. There were at least 4 other stations there, everyone started moving through, trying to find safe pathways to start the search for survivors.

Survivor.

That’s what Buck was to him- that, amongst other things.

Eddie had made his way through a pile in the corner, a yellow piece of something caught his eye. He wasn't sure what it was but something in him made him think about Buck. He tugged until he got the piece out and it was a piece of Buck’s- or another firefighter’s turnout jacket. He stood there, hunched over, his hand on his chest, trying to steady his heart as all the possibilities ran through his head.

Buck was stuck under all of this. Buck would die if they didn’t find him soon. Who was he to say that Buck was even alive?

He pushed the heart wrenching thoughts from his mind.

Buck is alive. Buck is alive. Buck is alive.

Those 3 words were the only thing getting him through this. He needed to find Buck.

Buck needed to be alive.

Buck is alive.

“Buck’s alive” he barely heard his radio over the chaos around him. Chimney’s voice ringing through the radio once more, Eddie let out a sigh as he heard the news this time.

“Buck’s alive.”

Eddie dropped everything, he didn’t mean too but Buck needed him- he needed Buck. He found the 118, Bobby stood outside of the ambulance. His hand comes up to hold Eddie back as he ran towards the ambulance.

“Cap, move. I need to see him” “Eddie, Eddie! Hey, give them some space.” Bobby’s hand was against Eddie’s chest. His hand wrapped around Bobby’s wrist, trying to push him away to get to past him but Bobby was stronger than he looked.

“Eddie, Buck needs all the attention he can get right now. Give them a minute to work, okay ?”

Chimney jumps out the back of the ambulance, shutting one of the doors. “We're heading out now,” he shouts, making his way to the driver’s seat. Eddie looks at Bobby, his head slightly tilted, his eyes silently pleading to let him go with them. Bobby reopened the door that Chim closed and nodded towards the inside. Eddie gives his captain a nod before getting in. Bobby shut the doors and hit the back as Chim pulled off.

Eddie’s eyes trailed over Buck’s body, assessing his injuries. There was a large gash on his side that was currently covered by gauzes and he was in and out of consciousness due to the concussion he had. That was only externally, he had no idea what was going on inside- there were so many things that could be happening to Buck right now and they had no way of being completely sure until they reached the hospital.

Hen could see the worry on Eddie’s face. Eddie was one to hold himself together but when it came to those he loved- he wore his heart on his sleeve.

“He’s going to be okay.” She tells him- she isn't sure if those words are true but Eddie desperately needed something to cling too.

“He's going to be okay.” Eddie repeats her words - he too, knows that those words might not be true but he tries to convince himself either way.

The ambulance bounced as it hit a pothole. Chimney shouting a sorry from the front. The gauzes that were once taped to Buck’s side had loosened from the amount of blood that had soaked through and the pothole was the cherry on top.

“Eddie, you’re gonna have to put pressure on it” Hen tells him, turning to reach a medical glove. By the time she turns back, Eddie’s hand is pressed to Buck’s side, his other hand holding Buck’s that laid by his side.

Hen watched the man sitting across from her, the way his brows furrowed each time he glanced at the monitor, how his eyes glimmered with hope when Buck almost regained consciousness. Through all of the emotions, not once did Eddie’s hand shift from Buck’s side- not even an inch.

When they arrived, Eddie and Hen moved along with the stretcher, following it inside as Hen told the nurses what his last vitals were and what injuries she has assessed so far. Eddie’s hand pressed to his friend’s side still, he silently mumbled a prayer- one he hadn’t said in a long time, hoping that his friend would pull through because he couldn't bare to lose some else.

The nurse assured him that she was able to take him over for him, her hand ready to replace Eddie’s, yet he still walked with the stretcher. The nurse followed behind him, looking back at Hen.

The stretcher halted in front of the OR doors, Eddie couldn't follow them in there and he knew that. “Come on,” Hen’s hand rested gently on his shoulder.

Eddie’s heart was beating relentlessly in his chest, the fear of something happening to Buck if he leaves him was setting in but he also knew that if he didn’t step by that Buck could die right there, feet away from the OR.

He glanced at the nurse, she nodded- her silent way of assure him once more that she’s ready when he’s ready. “Okay” he mumbles, carefully moving his hand as the nurse’s hand replaces his.

He watched as they rolled him through the doors, he could still feel Hen’s hand on his shoulder. He walked with her back to the waiting room, Bobby and Chimney in there, Maddie too.

All eyes were on Eddie, his hand stained red from being on Buck’s side. He hadn’t noticed until the red liquid fell from his fingertips and made little red droplets on the white floors. He walked away quietly, feeling the eyes on him until he stepped into the bathroom.

Peeling off his turnout gear, he stepped out of it, leaving it on the floor for the moment being. The sleeve of his uniform button up was covered in blood, it had dripped down his arm.

Discarding the shirt with his turnout gear, he stood in front of the sink, the cold water turning red as it went down the drain. He took a look at himself in the mirror.

Parts of his face covered with dust and soot, a little drop of red on his cheek from when the gauze came loose in the ambulance, he wiped off the blood and returned to the waiting room, his gear and shirt hung on the chair beside him. He had on his regular LAFD t-shirt under all of that.

Maddie took a seat beside him, her hand reaching for his. He didn’t say anything, he let her hold it. They both cared deeply about Buck in their own way.

“He’s going to be okay” He tells Maddie- repeating the words Hen had told him during the ride over, he could see that she needed something to hold onto.

“He’s going to be okay” Maddie gave Eddie’s hand a small squeeze. She had been in the same waiting room countless times with the team but each time felt like the first and it didn’t get less scary either.

---

Hours have gone by and only once has the doctor sent a nurse by with an update.

“He's stable as of now.”

As of now.

The 3 words ringing in Eddie’s head. He knew how these things went, nothing was certain but for Buck’s sake, he hoped it was. His leg bounced, his eyes fixed on the poster about teens against drugs on the wall.

The waiting room was almost empty, most of the team had gotten up to stretch their legs or get coffee. Bobby had stepped out to call Athena, giving her an update on Buck. Chimney and Maddie went to get some air and coffee, Hen had also stepped out for the moment, to call Karen he assumed.

Bobby stepped back into the waiting room, Eddie still staring at the poster on the wall. He took a seat beside him. “You okay ?” he asks him quietly, not wanting to startle him- though not much scared him.

“Yeah, fine. Did you get an update yet?”

“No,” Bobby sighs, “Athena says she’ll be on her way with coffee and breakfast when she drops the kids off��

Eddie hums. An announcement broke his thought, he only heard the last part- “cart to OR 3″ and his brain filled in the rest. The panic that just settled was starting to build again. Bobby noticed how Eddie’s entire demeanour changed after the announcement, his body shifted in his chair, his chest raising and falling faster than it was moments ago.

“OR 6″ Bobby says, Eddie’s brows furrow. “What ?”

“Buck’s in OR 6″

Eddie sighs. Bobby looks over at the man sitting beside him- sure they were all worried about him but no one was more worried than Eddie.

“Eddie, can I ask you something ?”

“Yeah, of course”

“What's going on with you and Buck ?”

The question hit him like a ton of bricks. Things had been less than normal between the two men, the distance after the kiss putting a strain on all the relationships in their lives. Eddie had to explain to Chris why Buck wasn't around as much and things were just awkward.

The thought of losing Buck before he could make things right made his heart ache in the worst possible way.

Bobby could see the way his question made Eddie stop and think. He resisted the urge to laugh but he let Eddie take a moment to figure it out. Bobby had seen the bond the two men formed since their first shift together- as long as you had eyes, you’d be able to see it too.

From the way they looked at each other to the way they spoke about each other with glowing affection, it was hard to miss the feelings between them.

The only person that seemed to be oblivious to this was Eddie.

“Nothing’s going on with us” Eddie finally answers him. Bobby sighs, shaking his head.

“Eddie, you know I don’t lecture you because I never felt the need too but I feel like I should now.” a slight frown on Eddie’s face from Bobby’s words. Bobby shifted in his seat, now facing Eddie.

“Everyone seems to see it except you. That look you had when you saw the hotel come down- I've seen it before, on those who were waiting for someone they love to walk out but they didn’t. Why do you think you were the first to go running towards it ? Because you love him.”

“We all love him Cap, we couldn’t just leave him there” Eddie tells him, he was unsure as to why he brought upon the fact that he loves him- they all did.

“I understand that, but you love him.” the emphasis on the word love still didn’t connect the dots for Eddie- Bobby noticed the confusion on the man’s face. “Look at what's right in front of you, the most obvious answer is usually the right one.” he pats his shoulder before leaving Eddie to his thoughts.

Bobby stepped out, Athena coming his way. He smiled at his wife as she approached him, his arm now over her shoulder. She leaned into his side when she saw Eddie in the waiting room. “Is he okay ?” she looks up at her husband for an answer, he hums. “Eddie’s about to realize that he's in love-” a loud ‘oh my god’ came from the waiting room, interrupting Bobby’s sentence. “Yup, there it is”

“There’s what? I’m going to need some context here.” Athena says, still looking at the man in the waiting room.

“He’s realized he’s in love with Buck” Bobby chuckles, “about time.”

---

The sun was coming up, the curtains slightly opened in his room. Eddie had spent the night in his room, the chair in there was far too small for him as he kept drifting in and out of sleep.

He had called Carla, letting her know that he wasn’t coming home that night. Maddie offered to stay but she deserved a proper night’s sleep in an actual bed. He promised to call her if anything changed.

Buck stirred in his sleep, groaning as he turned. Eddie was half asleep and hadn’t noticed until he heard Buck groan. Sitting up straight, he saw Buck rolling back onto his back, “did you roll onto your side? Let me see” Eddie gets up, walking to the bedside.

“What are you doing here?” his throat dry, a whisper was all he could manage.

“Didn’t want you to wake up to an empty room. I spent everyone home to get some rest. Maddie said she’d be back as soon as visiting hours start.” Eddie tells him as he lifts the side of the gown to check if Buck had pulled a stitch when he rolled onto his side. Buck stayed still, feeling Eddie’s hand gently touch his side in a few spots, his fingers dragging across the edge of the gauze that was taped over what he was sure was stitches.

“Chris ?” he asks, looking at his friend. “Home, with Carla”

“Eddie,” Buck’s hand reached for Eddie’s.

“Buck?” his brows furrows- the typical Diaz look. Buck smiled at his expression.

“Why are you really here?”

“I told you, I didn’t want you waking up to an empty room.” Eddie says once more, trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince Buck.

The blonde scoffed, that was bullshit and they both knew it. “If you’re going to lie, be better at it.”

Eddie smiled, thinking back to their kiss in the locker room. Buck had said those same words to him just moments before. Eddie's hand comes up to Buck’s face, cupping it. Eddie leans down, his eyes locking with Buck’s. The warmth Buck radiated was the only thing that filled Eddie’s head.

Things were different this time, he was completely and utterly ready to devote himself to Buck, no questions asked.

Buck could tell him to stop and Eddie could pull away at any moment but neither did.

Buck took in the moment, the way Eddie’s brown eyes glimmered as the sunlight hit them, the way his hand held his face like it was made to be there. His lips finally met his, the world stopped spinning and everything melted away. It was just the two of them, as it always was - but it was different. They were so different but they were made for each other.

When Buck finally pulled away, he looked up at Eddie. The expression on his face was nothing but love- happy, relaxed, not a worry in the world. Little did Buck know but he was mirroring the exact same expression back to Eddie.

Buck’s brows furrowed for a moment, the reality starting to flood in. Eddie could see the change in Buck.

“What’s wrong ?” he asks him, sitting at the edge of his bed, his hand holding Buck’s.

“Ana, is she,” he trailed off. It hurt his heart to bring it up but he couldn't knowingly get into something with Eddie if he was still with Ana because it was wrong to both himself and to her but also because it would kill him to lose Eddie to her.

“I- uh, I ended things weeks ago” he fidgeted with his fingers, not looking up at Buck. “It didn’t seem right to lead her on when I knew I wasn’t in love with her.”

“So are you saying what I think you’re saying ?” Buck asked, a small smile on his face.

“What am I saying Evan ?” Eddie bit back a smile, looking at the blonde man on the bed.

“That you’re in love with me Edmundo”

“Ew don’t call me that” his face twisted into a look of disgust. Buck let out a loud laugh, before telling him “don’t call me Evan then.”

The men bickered back and forth, laughing and prodding each other for the next few minutes. The room filled with laughter and love, so much so that it hurt their faces from how much they were smiling.

“You know,” Eddie’s hand rested on top of Buck’s, “I really do love you”

Buck smiles, “I love you too.”

---

Taglist: @dralexreid @mrs-dr-reid @ickletheficklepickle @yelenabelous

#buddie #buddie fic #buddie fanfic #buddie fanfiction #evan buckley #eddie diaz #eddie x buck #buck x eddie #911 #9-1-1 #evan buck buckley #edmundo diaz

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potterbite · 4 years ago

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falling slowly

five times people found out about eddie changing his will, seeing right through him, and the one time they both admitted what it meant. on ao3

Sometimes, Eddie’s confused when he’s called rude— or on one memorable occasion; a motherfucking shitface —because most of the time he only wants to make other people happy. Sure, that’s not always healthy either, but rude? No. So whenever it happens, it puzzles him a great deal, never quite understanding exactly what was done or said wrong.

On this occasion though, he has no problems seeing how he’s at fault.

“Are you being an ass on purpose or is it for my benefit alone?” Ana spits, and he can’t really blame her for looking as if she wants to punch him in the face.

The thing is, he’s been meaning to end things with her for ages— since before the shooting six weeks ago —but he can never find the right moment. Or, rather, timing is right but the words get stuck in his throat, fire burning through all of them until nothing but ashes and a fresh smile remains.

The irritation he feels for himself bleeds through onto her, staining their conversations, all of them becoming stiff, sometimes as if two strangers talked. And he wants to get out of there, and he wants to stay with her forever just to bask in the easiness of it all, and he wants to kiss her to not have to say anything at all, and he wants her to end it so he doesn’t have to.

So when she took a stray potato from his plate and said, chewing, that maybe she should spend more time with Christopher in case Eddie ever had to work late, because that way she could help, and wouldn’t it be useful if the boy knew her better— well Eddie just lost his head completely.

“Why? Carla or Buck can do that.” He heard the tone of his own voice, the acid not quite coming through, and he had wished it did. The coward in him had made him frown down at the empty plate to avoid meeting her eyes, instead looking at the remaining sauce for the two pieces of potato he’d saved for just that. Ana had taken them without asking. It wasn’t a big deal, and he didn’t mind sharing his food, and he was full anyway— but damn it, he had wanted those last potatoes for himself.

She laughed at his words, soft and easily. “Is Buck honestly the best option? He seems reckless.”

And at this, something had flashed before Eddie’s eyes, red and dangerous, and the words tasted like bile even before they left his lips. “Buck is Christopher’s legal guardian if something ever happens to me.”

This sentence acted as some kind of catalyst for their first— and only —fight, vicious words thrown back and forth in a battle neither seemed to win, but both wanted to end.

So no, Eddie couldn’t blame Ana for calling him an ass. It’s also the very thing that casts him back into the correct plane of reality, a place where he prides himself in being a decent human being, someone his son can look up to.

He forces himself to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Her mouth opens and closes a few times. “W-what?”

“I said I’m sorry. For what I said and for not telling you.”

“I’m sorry too.” Her shoulders sag, and just like that this is the end between them and he knows he’s a coward for letting it be. “And for what it’s worth, you really should tell him.”

Abruptly, as if they’ve mutually agreed upon it, they go to the hallway where he reaches for the jacket he hung there an hour earlier. “I never wanted it to end this way.” This is the truth.

“Me neither.” He can’t tell if she means it or not.

“And I have told him,” he continues as he opens the front door, feeling the breeze from the warm night on his face. He’s about to let go of the handle when Ana’s hand closes over his.

“That’s not what I meant.”

She closes the door before he has the time to think of something to say— but honestly there’s nothing more to add.

***

Eddie doesn’t tell anyone about the break-up. Not immediately anyway. It’s not that he regrets it, or feels sad about it; he’s not even all that remorseful about the way it went down.

But almost a week later, it comes up when he and Chimney are alone in the kitchen, the others dozing by the tv.

“Hey, Maddie is feeling better so I thought that maybe you and Ana want to come over this weekend? You can bring Chris.“

“Ah.” He scratches himself by the ear to buy some time, which is probably what tips Chim off.

“Wait, are you not - ?”

Eddie flicks his eyes around the loft, but no one is close enough to overhear them anyway. “Nah, we broke up last week.”

“I’m sorry man.” Chim puts a gentle hand on his left shoulder and gives him a smile. “Are you okay?”

Eddie nods, because he is. “Yeah. It hasn’t been all that good since before the shooting to tell you the truth, and then we had a major fight after I told her that Buck will be the legal guardian of Chris if anything should happen to me.”

Almost a full minute goes by where Chim just stares open-mouthed at him, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do or say so he stays still, afraid of the gleeful surprise on Chim’s face.

Finally, Chim blinks a couple of times. “Can I be there when you tell Hen?”

“Why?” Eddie frowns deep, not at all what he expected Chim to say.

“Trust me. She can say what I can’t.”

“I don’t understand.”

At this, Chim gets a sympathetic smile on his face. “Oh, I know you don’t.”

And he goes to join the others.

***

To his credit, Chim doesn’t appear to tell Hen what he and Eddie discussed. Unfortunately for Eddie, this means that he doesn’t get a chance to understand what Chim meant. Well, technically, he could just tell Hen and find out for himself, but he did keep this quiet for more than a year— and it was never an active choice, he just didn’t feel as if someone else needed to know, not even Buck at first (which, looking back, might’ve been an oversight on his part)— so speaking up about it now, without being prompted, seems strange, the words falling flat on his tongue.

However, not even three days after telling Chimney, the moment presents itself in the form of Buck.

Eddie, Hen and Chim are eating, their shift about to start, when Buck practically throws his entire body towards an available chair, slamming his ankle into one of the table legs, followed by some loud cursing.

As Eddie practically hears the collective eye roll from Chim and Hen, he chuckles. “You know, some of those words are illegal.”

“Ha ha,” Buck groans in response. “Don’t worry, when I have to raise Chris by myself, I’ll make sure he knows them all. I take my guardianship very seriously.”

There’s a thump, and Eddie looks at Hen; the fork is dangling in the breeze of her open mouth, the food that was obviously just on it lying in the middle of her almost empty plate.

“Say what now?” One of her eyebrows is dangerously high up on her forehead.

Buck looks comically from her, to Eddie, to Chim, and back again. “Um, yeah,” is all he replies.

Sadly, this means Hen turns to Eddie instead, and he really wishes it weren’t so but he can feel himself shrink under her gaze. “Are you telling me you made Buck the legal guardian of your kid if something happened to you?”

“No, Buck told you that,” he jokes, but not a muscle in her face reacts. “Yes, that’s what’ll happen if I die.”

She looks thoughtful— scarily so —as her eyes flits between him and Buck; Eddie can almost feel Chim vibrating in the chair next to his own.

“I should’ve caught on sooner,” she says eventually.

“What?” Eddie’s dry mouth asks even though he doesn’t want to hear the answer. Buck, apparently, is more interested in eating than this conversation and starts picking stuff from Eddie’s plate. Somehow, Eddie doesn’t care.

Hen smirks, and points a finger between him and Buck, and Eddie can feel his eyes bulging, feel the strange beating of his heart in his own ears, the sweat starting on his palms, and Hen’s smirk turns into an actual smile.

She doesn’t elaborate, and when Buck looks up from the platter less than a minute later he seems oblivious to the exchange that has happened.

As the bell goes off and they head toward the truck, Eddie dries his hands on his thighs and drowns out what’s going on inside his head; he’s too scared of all those things he already knows to be true, almost spoken out loud in words he does not yet have.

***

By the time they get back to the station, Eddie has already figured out he needs to tell Bobby about this; it’s only a matter of time until someone slips up and Eddie really wants to be the one to tell his captain this. Not that he thinks it’s a big deal, but he’d feel weird about it if Bobby heard it from the probie.

He knocks twice on the doorframe to Bobby’s office. Both of them have taken a shower and had something to eat, enjoying the blissful quiet between calls.

Bobby looks up at Eddie over the brim of paper he’s holding. “Eddie! What can I do for you?”

Eddie, not knowing what to do with his hands, puts them in the pocket of his pants and takes a few steps into the room, making sure the door is closed. “I - uh, I wanted to talk to you about my will,” he starts.

Bobby nods, opening a cabinet next to the desk to look through some folders. “Have you changed it again since last year?”

Eddie just gapes. “What?”

“I have the copy in here somewhere,” Bobby mutters to himself. “Aha! There it is.” He presents the paper to Eddie, who accepts it. Sure enough, there’s a copy of the will he wrote after the last accident.

“I didn’t know you had this.”

“Your attorney sent it to me. He figured since you gave me the old one, you’d want me to have the new one as well.”

Eddie nods.

“What did you want to tell me about the will?” Bobby looks so concerned that Eddie can’t help the huff of laughter that escapes him.

“Nothing. I wanted you to know about Buck, that's all.”

“Ah.” Those soul gazing eyes locks onto Eddie and he squirms. “I already know.”

Lost for anything to say to this, Eddie sinks down to the closest chair and they sit together in silence until he no longer feels as if those carefully constructed walls he built to contain all he has inside for Buck is crumbling down around him. Soon he’ll be standing in the ruins of a former fortress and the only one left to tell is Buck. Eddie’s just not sure he has the courage.

***

Chris was the first one Eddie told, before he even signed the papers or anything. It just didn’t sit right with him to take this decision away from the boy. For weeks and weeks Eddie thought about the best way to bring it up, trying to come up with replies for all plausible scenarios.

It was a Wednesday when he finally took the plunge.

“Hey buddy, can I ask you something?”

Chris had nodded happily. “What Dad?”

“If I didn’t come home one day, if something bad happened to me, how do you feel about Buck taking care of you?”

Chris didn’t even think about it. Instead, he frowned deeply. “If you’re not here, why wouldn’t I live with Buck? He always takes care of us.”

Eddie had almost laughed with relief, not having foreseen this easiness at all. He ruffled Chris' hair and said, “No, you’re right. I agree.”

They didn’t talk about it again.

***

It’s been almost three weeks since his break-up with Ana, and he still hasn’t told Buck. By now, he’s probably the only one that hasn’t figured it out, but Eddie doesn’t mind. In fact, he steers clear of relationship talk when they hang out; he doesn’t want to hear about how fantastic Taylor is, or what new adventures they’ve been up to.

Strangely, it’s Bobby of all people that tells Buck. Or maybe Bobby tells Eddie, he’s not really sure.

They find Bobby cooking when they start a long shift, all of them gliding towards the whiff of glorious food.

“What’s the occasion?” Buck asks as he steals a green bean.

“Nothing really. Just a happy meal with family.” Bobby stirs the giant pot and adds some spices. “With all the break-ups happening around here, I’m almost worried it’s contagious so I figured we needed an easy dinner together.”

Eddie stiffens, but curiously enough so does Buck, shoulders rigid and face neutral. Instead, it’s Chim that speaks next. “What do you mean? Who else has broken up?”

“Well, Pannikar and his boyfriend, Eddie and Ana, and now Buck and Taylor,” Bobby says, gesturing towards each of them in turn. Everyone nods, as if nothing he said is brand new information.

“You and Ana broke up?” The words are almost as quiet as a whisper, meant for Eddie alone while the rest set the table.

Eddie nods. “You broke up with Taylor?”

“Yeah. Or we both did, I’m not sure.” He gets a deep frown between his eyebrows and the tips of Eddie’s fingers itch to smooth it out. He doesn’t. “We’re still friends though.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Buck tilts his head a little bit to the right, gazing at Eddie as if he’s a riddle to solve.

Eddie shrugs. Of course, he knows very well why he didn’t say something to Buck but he can’t tell his best friend that— or can he?

Acting on pure impulse, he takes hold of Buck’s hand and drags him away from the kitchen, down the stairs and into their bunk room. He closes the door behind them, leaning on it, and turns to look at the other man; Buck is standing just out of arm's reach. In Eddie’s stomach someone is dancing the conga in circles, begging him to get the hell out of there before he says too much and ruins it all. He ignores this, swallowing hard.

“Here’s the thing. I’ve been waiting for the right words to come to me, to figure out how to tell you what is apparently very obvious to everyone else. I mean, if I just mention how I changed my will, they all get this look in their eyes, and I know they know. And I don’t understand how you still don’t when I feel as if it’s written on my face.”

Buck is silent, and Eddie can’t even be sure his ramble made any sense whatsoever. He rests the back of his head against the door, waiting for Buck to say something, anything. The urge to get out of there is overwhelming, but the sound of Buck’s breathing is as well— harsh and quick breaths, shallow and full of emotions Eddie can’t place.

“I broke up with Taylor because I think I’m more into you than her,” Buck blurts suddenly, his eyes widening as if he never meant to say any of it.

An urge to laugh bubbles up inside him, but he presses it down. “Buck.” The other man’s eyes snap to his. “I made you the sole guardian of my kid if I die.”

Eddie can’t tell who moves first— maybe they drift at the same time, two planets on a collision course — but somehow they meet in the middle, lips crashing together until it feels as if they’re fused together as one. He nibbles gently at Buck’s bottom lip, a gesture that makes Buck practically purr in response; Eddie can feel the vibration of it underneath his fingers, lying in a soft grip around Buck’s throat.

In retaliation— reward? —Buck shuffles them back until Eddie hits the wall with a soft thump, and the quiet groan that escapes him is out of his control honestly. He can’t believe he ever thought that what he had with Ana was enough, not when this has been here the whole time, just waiting beneath the surface for someone to make the first move.

When the alarm goes off, they don’t separate immediately; instead they sigh apart, Buck letting his forehead fall until it meets Eddie’s.

“We really should talk about this,” Buck says, and he’s so close that his breath sends shivers across Eddie’s body.

“Mhm,” Eddie agrees, opening his eyes to meet Buck’s. “But there will be plenty of time for that later.”

(When they get to the truck, Hen smirks at the pair of them when they get in. Eddie pointedly ignores her, but when his gaze lands on Buck he has to bite the inside of his cheek so as not to smile wide enough to crack his head in two.)

(They get around to talking. Later.)

#buddie #buddie fic #911 #my writing #i am weak for some good old 5+1 fics #911 on fox

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smilingleoo · 4 years ago

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Bts reaction-Finding you in a compromising position with another member!

Request: Hello❤️ would you mind doing bts reaction to him finding you in suspicion position with another member and overthinking, when in reality it’s something completely innocent 😇🙏

Warnings: connotation of sexual poses and/or actions!

Author’s note: I added a little bit of mix cultures to this one, hope you don’t mind!

—————

RM (Kim Namjoon)

He wasn’t expecting this at all.

He had entered the common room after the makeup artist was done with him, expecting to find you slumped over the couch as he had seen you minutes ago. However, he found himself gaping at your kneeling figure, a confused gaze adorning your innocent features. Jimin was standing in front of you, hands knotted behind his neck, observing how you bobbed your head lightly.

“Y/N?”-Namjoon gasped and you turned around slowly, still glancing over your shoulder towards Jimin’s way.

“Hey baby!”-you greeted him-“Are you finished?”

“Don’t ask me that!”-he snapped-“What were you doing with Jimin?”

You stared at Jimin, who returned your hesitant look, and shrugged-“I was cleaning his shoe. He spilled some coffe and I decided to help. Why are you asking, though?”

Namjoon felt utterly embarrassed. He had really though you were capable of cheating on him with someone as close to him as Jimin-“Don’t mind me, babe. I’m just a little tired”

“Then let’s nap together. I’m in for some cuddles!”

Suga (Min Yoongi)

Yoongi didn’t get possessive often but when he did, it was over serious things.

Could you blame him, though? Poor Yoongi was walking through the hallways of BigHit company searching for your hungry-self. You had told him you were starving about thirty minutes ago and that you were going to look for something to eat nearby. When you hadn’t returned, Yoongi began to worry. Effortlessly, he had made a short journey through the company’s floor until he heard an abrupt noise from the insides of BTS’ practice room. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop but the sudden urge to know what was happening overtook him.

Gentle sighs and soft moans erupted from the room’s solitude. Yoongi’s eyes widened and he attempted to get as far as prossible from the door, but he stopped right on his track when he heard your voice-“Is that okay?”

Yoongi slammed the door open, rage swirling through his entire body. His first move was to scream but his action was silent as he caught your confused gaze and Taehyung’s sleepy grin-“Hyung?”-he mumbled. Your hands rested on his shoulders, squeezing every now and then to ease the boy’s painful knots.

“Is something wrong baby?”

“No, I was just making sure you were alright”-Yoongi coughed while embarrassement flashed through his cheeks. You gave him the sweetest smile and told him you were sorry for being away for too long without sending him a message. Yoongi brushed the topic off and offered to help with Taehyung’s massage.

“You love me, right?”-he just wanted to make sure.

“What’s with the question?”-you rolled your eyes-“Of course I do”

Jin (Kim Seokjin)

You often accompanied Jungkook and your boyfriend, Jin, to their daily gym routines.

You loved it since you could not only work out but also spend time with your boyfriend and Jungkook, who you had come to care for dearly. He was a goofball, just like you and Jin, so he understood your dynamic quickly.

At the moment, you were currently lifting a bar with a pretty heavy weight on both sides. You liked pushing yourself and so adding some extra weights to your routine wasn’t weird at all. However, you might have exceeded your berable limits, quivering when you tried to push the bar high enough to clamp it back to place. Jin had gone to fetch some water so he wasn’t near by. However, Jungkook noticed you struggling and dashed your way.

Because of the wall behind the machine, he had to position himself on top of you to get a good grip on the bar. Although he wasn’t touching you at all, the position he was currently in was somewhat...compromising and Jin just couldn’t formulate a coherent explanation-“What the heck are you doing?”

“Hyung! Belive me, Y/N was going to be burried underneath that bar if I hadn´t help her”-Jungkook stammered out and you laughed as you walked towards your angry boyfriend, kissing his cheek to brush any misunderstanding off.

Jhope (Jung Hoseok)

Jimin was small.

And you were smaller.

Therefore, cooking was extremely difficult.

“I’ll climb on the kitchen counter and grab the bowl”-you clarified-“Please, stay behind me. I don’t want to fall”

Jimin chuckled but nodded anyways, positioning himself behind you as you wiggled your hips up onto the counter. Your arms pushed you upwards and, before you could turn around, Hoseok entered the room. An empty bowl of cereal rested on his opened palm as he gazed the scene with confusion. You knew that your legs were dangling off the counter, Jimin snuggled between them, and that Hoseok was clearly not happy with it.

“Hobi-Hyung, it’s really not what it looks like”-Jimin stammered but you were faster, propping yourself higher to reach for the bowl you had been looking for and showing it to your boyfriend-“I wanted to surprise you with dinner and Jimin-ah offered to help me”

Hobi, of course, understood. Yet he decided to dismiss Jimin by claiming that he would give you a hand from now on.

Jimin (Park Jimin)

Bts and, obviously you, had gone to the beach for the weekend.

Everyone had a agreed that it would be a great way to relief some longtime stress and that the boys deserved some small vacations. Excitedly, they had urged you to tag along since they loved you even before you had started dating Jimin.

Therefore, you now found yourself slumped on a comfortable towel under the burning morning sun. Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung had gone swimming while you decided to stay dry besides Seokjin, who was also tanning, and Yoongi, who preferred the soothing shadow of the steady umbrella. Because you had been under the sun for too long now, your back started to itch dangerously.

Jimin had obliged you to bring with you some sunscreen yet you struggled while applying it on your back. Yoongi, who saw you having difficulties, offered himself to help you with it.

His hands were cold while he spread the lotion on your back, your eyes closing slightly at the pleasing feeling-“Are you enjoying yourself?”

Jimin stood, dripping wet, in front of you. Yoongi had sensed the sudden change on the atmosphere and decided to leave both of you alone. You, slowly, explained to your boyfriend why Yoongi was caressing your back moments ago yet Jimin kept on pouting until the sun went down.

“Baby, you know that if you had been there, I would’ve asked you”-he nodded but didn’t seemed convinced. Annoyed, you leaned forward and pecked his plump lips.

“You’ll have to give me tons of love now”

V (Kim Taehyung)

Taehyung had invited you to a gala BTS had been scheduled.

You agreed instantly, wanting to spend more time with him, but told him you didn´t own an appropiate dress to wear. He was fast to hush your worries buying you a gorgeous gown that flowed beautifully down your legs.He had made you go to their dorms to change and get your make-up done by their artists, although you had told him numerous times that you didn´t want to be a nuisance-”They´re going to be plased! Always working on men must be pretty tedious”

So you got your make-up done perfectly and were now proceeding to get the zipper of your dress up. Teahyung was with the hairstylist and you couldn´t go, half-dressed, for him to help you out. Namjoon, who just happened to walk by, asked if you needed help. You nodded, wiggling towards him, and poistioned your back in front of him-”This is a stunning dress!”

“I know, right?”-you chimmed-”Tae got it for me”

The mentioned man entered the room and got a glimpse of Namjoon´s hands near your lower back-”Hyung? What are you doing?”-Taehyung would feel a little discouraged with the whole ordeal, thinking that all his tiny details had not been enough. However, when Namjoon was finished, you jumped into Tae´s arms and smiled happily-”You have the best taste ever, baby! Look at me!”

How could he be mad at you? After all, you were his and only his-”Beautiful as always...”

Jungkook (Jeon Jungkook)

You wanted to dance with your boyfriend but you were embarrassed by your poor dancing skills.

You weren´t awful yet Jungkook´s amazing moves made yours look sloppy and weird. Therefore, you asked the only person you could think of; Park Jimin. Of course, he was down with the idea quickly, telling you that you just needed to loosen up a little bit.

Now, once a week, you gathered up with Jimin to have a fun dance class. It wasn´t weird at all since you had been always pretty good friends. You laughed, danced and even sing along, goofing around when you got stucked or frustrated. Jungkook, however, noticed how you disappeared once in a while every week. Thus, one day he decided he had had enough.

He followed you to your secret classes and watched in disbelief how Jimin helped you stretching or how he touched your hips delicately. In a swarmp of rage, he stormed in the studio and interrogated both of you. Nevertheless, all his anger extinguished when you, appollogetically, explained to him the reasons for your time with Jimin.

“Baby, you could´ve asked me!”-He sighed hugging you-”Everyone has a rough start but that does not make you any less. Come on, let´s have a dance date”

#bts #bts x reader #bts x you #bts army #bts x y/n #bts reaction to #bts requests #bts drabble #bts reactions #bts reaction #jeon jungkook x you #park jimin x you #kim seokjin x you #kim namjoom x reader #min yoongi x y/n #jung hoseok x you #kim taehyung x you

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jamaiskookie · 4 years ago

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Yoongi Doesn’t Romance [myg x reader]

✂︎ warnings: excessive cursing, bad writing

✂︎ word count: 6.6k (I meant to write a very short drabble… aHAHHA)

✂︎ genre: it’s.. literally just crack. Good dosing of cheesy romance and overused cliches

✂︎ A/N: it took awhile but we here!!! with a short drabble but still!!! hope you enjoy this cringey fluffy fic full of shameless jimin and shy yoongi- arguably the best yoongi

masterlist asks

✂︎ synopsis: yoongi isn’t great at expressing feelings- especially with how nervous he gets around you. alternatively titled: yoongi sucks at romance

“... and I don’t understand why you’re so hell bent on denying it! You obviously have a crush on him!” You roll your eyes at Namjoon, flicking your index finger at his forehead and watching as he flinches and lets out multiple sounds of pain, which you promptly ignored.

“I’m denying my crush because he so obviously doesn’t like me back! He hates me, Joon. He literally detests me.” You say, jumping back onto the stained and cluttered couch that occupies most of you and Namjoon’s shared dorm.

“And I’m telling you that you’re overthinking it,” Namjoon says, chewing on some popcorn. “I don’t think he hates you, you’re just exaggerating things.”

“I am not!” You protest, swinging your head around to look Namjoon dead straight in the eyes. “He hates me! He practically leaps out of the room whenever I’m around.” Namjoon opens his mouth to reply, but is cut off by Taehyung, who is currently seated two feet away on a small thrifted chair.

“Shhhhhhhh-” His eyes are still fixated on the TV screen, watching the random nature documentary playing that you and Namjoon had long ago abandoned. You and Namjoon both watch Taehyung for a second amusedly as he attempts to stuff popcorn kernels in his mouth and completely misses the mark. You’ll have to remind him to clean up the floor later.

“But,” Namjoon whispers to you, “Literally every time you aren’t around I swear all he can do is run his mouth on and on about you.”

“Not true!” You yell, squeaking out a quick apology to Tae, who glared at you for interrupting the segment on apes. Something about how apes can learn languages, but you’re not too sure. “Lies!” You hiss, elbowing Namjoon in the rib.

“Ow-!” He jumps back, wincing. “Why do you always resort to violence?” You didn’t have an answer to that question, unfortunately. “And I’m not lying! I swear on my bonsai trees he always asks where you are whenever you don’t show up to stuff.”

“Maybe he just wants to know how much glorious time he has left before he has to face me again.” You offer, tearing open what must be your third dorito family pack of the night. (It’s fine, you’ll burn it off by running to class tomorrow when you’re inevitably late once again.) “Namjoon, face the facts: he only tolerates my presence occasionally because we share a couple of mutual friends. If it weren’t for you and the other guys, he would’ve already started a hate club for me, I’m sure of it”

Namjoon stared at you exasperatedly, before muttering something that very suspiciously sounded like ‘God you’re such a dumbass’ before taking out his phone to swipe through Tinder, not uttering another word to you.

Despite Namjoon’s utter and complete lies, you don’t exaggerate anything when it comes to Min Yoongi. Not his hatred towards you, or how he speaks two words maximum every year directed at you, or your massive slight crush that you’ve harboured for him, or how cute he looks with beanies on, or how you almost fainted that one time you saw him playing basketball, or- well, you get it.

The point is, you can’t acknowledge your crush on Yoongi (Even though everyone around you is fully aware of it) because he seems to completely resent you and your existence for no reason in particular. Namjoon, Taehyung, Jimin, and many others insist that he doesn’t hate you as much as you think, but you dismiss their stupid assumptions time and time again. You’d love to believe them, but the evidence and first hand experiences you’ve had says otherwise.

✂︎

Exhibit A: He seems to avoid you on campus, or anywhere you go. This one is actually quite impressive considering the classes you two share. You’ve never seen someone go so out of their way to ignore someone they don’t like. It’s pretty commemorable. Whenever you sit in the same row as him during a lecture, he’ll move seats. One time you waved at him at a coffee shop and he just strangely blushed, and bolted out of there faster than you could say ‘rejected’. Taehyung ended up saying it, all while laughing his ass off. (You made him pay for your coffee that day.) Everytime you head over to Jimin’s dorm, he’ll just blankly stare at you two and march straight towards his room and lock himself in there until you leave. He even gulpes and swerves away when he sees you in a hallway.

You know, that awkward thing when you’re heading the same direction so obviously you’d try and be slightly friendly and wave or something but then he’ll just suddenly turn around, navigating through the crowd of angry, late students and facing all that social pressure just so he doesn’t have to waVE BACK AT YOU- okay, maybe you aren’t as over this incident as you thought.

Exhibit B: He won’t speak to you or touch you or interact with you in any way. Okay, maybe ‘in any way’ is a teensy bit exaggerated, but he definitely seems to find trouble when you two are left alone for some strange reason. He seems to be fine when all your other friends are around, but he just looks so uncomfortable when it’s just you two. He won’t look you in the eye, and he’ll just mutter incomprehensible sentences under his breath.

A couple months ago you attempted to hold a decent conversation with him in the kitchen of Jin’s fancy ass apartment. After many awkward silences that you had to fill up with your timid and boring small talk, he just mumbled something and you had to watch him go into the bathroom and scream. Either he was having some really bad explosive diarrhea, or having to talk to you was just that excruciating. Apart from intense Uno game nights or when he’s under the influence of alcohol, you’ve never even heard Yoongi raise his voice!

How is it possible that just by talking to you, he feels the urge to scream? You aren’t that boring, you think-! Actually, now that you think about it, you did try and bring up sea otter fun facts as a conversation starter, so maybe that’s why he had to scream.

Personally, you think that sea otters are the most adorable creatures to ever grace the earth, but Yoongi does seem like the kind of guy to prefer bats or something like that.

Exhibit C: The elbow incident. This haunts you to this day, not just from the horrible humiliation, but if the two previous exhibit’s weren’t convincing enough, this was real cemented evidence that Min Yoongi hates your guts.

You were talking to Jimin about the significance of ‘Phineas and Ferb’ in the cinematic industry, when your dumbass had tripped and caught yourself on Min Yoongi’s fucking arm (His bicep, on a completely unrelated note, was much bigger and stronger than you had thought, which was a complete other source of anxiety.) You would much rather fall on the ground and break all your bones, because the look on Yoongi’s face as he stared down at you clutching his arm like some sort of idiot, could only be described as disgust or horrified. Maybe both. You immediately let go, of course, and blabbered out apology after apology, but all he did was just stare and blink owlishly at you.

You proceeded to blush madly and run away, hiding your face in Jimin’s chest, which was, in hindsight, not a good idea, considering how hard he was laughing at the time. (What you didn’t see was Yoongi staring from behind you, deciding to never wash the hoodie he was wearing ever again.)

So, that concludes your argument against Namjoon’s preposterous claim that ‘Yoongi doesn’t actually hate you Y/n, it’s all in your head’ Delusional, that’s what he is. How could someone like Min Yoongi, a person you have literally been drooling over for most of your academic career, a person who single handedly has every sorority girl wrapped around his finger, even tolerate your very existence, much less be attracted to you? No, none of it makes any sense. You’ll continue to hurt yourself by being around him, despite clearly knowing that he detests your presence, and will even deny the crush you’ve somehow managed to build up for him.

Because even though it hurts to see him flinch and ignore you, you truly do think that Yoongi is one of the greatest people to ever walk on this shitty earth. He’s caring, even if he does pretend to not care, he’s smart, passionate, ambitious, and you’d be absolutely lying if you said you haven’t dreamed of pinching those squishy cheeks he seems to hide away so often.

If only you knew why he hated you so much.

✂︎

All the way across campus, Yoongi was having a similar breakdown while Jimin looked on anxiously.

“God fucking dammit!” He screamed. The sound comes out slightly muffled since Jimin can only hear what he’s saying through the pillow that Yoongi currently has his face buried in. He kicks his legs up and whines, hitting the bed with his hands. Jimin is suddenly reminded of his 4 year old cousin who threw a tantrum when she didn’t get the doll she asked for.

“And then you know what I said, Chim?? Do you kNOW?” Yoongi’s been screaming for the past thirty minutes or so. Jimin’s surprised that nobody on campus has come pounding on their door telling them to shut up yet.

“Please, do enlighten me.” Jimin murmurs, picking at his nails.

“I said ‘Salutations’ AND THEN I RAN OUT THE FUCKING CLASSROOM.” Yoongi tilts his head up from the pillow and groans, scrunching his nose up at the embarrassing thought.

“At least it’s not as bad as the time you screamed in the middle of the street when she touched your shoulder… right?” Jimin offers timidly, forcing a smile on his face. An angry, sleep deprived Yoongi is already scary enough, but he’s ten times more intense when the source of anger comes from you.

Honestly, sometimes he wonders how effective it would be if he could just lock Yoongi and you in a room and force you two to admit your feelings for once. (Until he mentioned this idea to Namjoon, who dejectedly informed him that they’ve already tried that.) ((Yoongi broke out of the room using a bobby pin and sheer force of will)) He’s never even seen a pair so smart, and yet so obliviously naive. Anyone with functioning two eyes could see the horribly obvious feelings the both of you shared for each other. In fact, for the first couple months upon meeting Yoongi, he thought that you were his girlfriend, based on how much he talked about you. That assumption carried on when he met you, until Jin told him that the two of you were just in a weird phase of dumbasses who kinda flirt.

It’s not Yoongi’s fault that he’s so bad at having actual emotions that aren’t the tears of joy that he sheds whenever he gets free coffee from the barista at the local cafe, and it’s not your fault that your self esteem is too low to recognise that Yoongi basically worships you.

In theory, you two are a match made in heaven. Both just as stupid as the other.

“How do you do feelings, Jimin?” Yoongi sits up from the bed, and Jimin thinks that the tear tracks and defeated look on his face is a tad bit dramatic, but he chooses not to comment on it, for fear of his own life.

“... what?”

“You know, feelings. How do you romance?”

“... what?”

Yoongi, completely exasperated, throws his hands up in the air and turns around to face Jimin. “Everytime I try to talk to her by myself it’s like I’m a fish out of water. I get way too nervous, and then she starts talking about otters, and she’s way too pretty so I obviously start freaking out! I don’t know, you and Jungkook have been dating for a year now, right?” Jimin nods.

“How’d you do that.”

“... Are you asking me how I got a boyfriend or-? Because I assure you that 85% of getting Kookie to be my boyfriend had to do with my great ass, so I can’t really help you out there- ” Jimin laughs as he watches Yoongi squeal and cover his hands over his ears.

“Can I ask you for relationship advice without hearing about your sex life, please?” Yoongi pleads. “I know too many unnecessary things about how Jungkook is in bed.”

Jimin decides to put his friend out of his misery. He places a hand on his shoulder, and shoots him a soft smile.

“Yoongi, my young grasshopper- ” He retracts the hand when he sees the deathly stare Yoongi is looking at him with, but so far so good, “- there really isn’t much to it. Tell her you like her, and in the very, very, extremely small chance that she rejects you, so what? It’s not like you’re going to spend the rest of your life getting ov- ” Jimin’s voice falters again when Yoongi’s stare intensifies.

“You don’t get it!” He complains, throwing himself back onto the bed once again. “You’re all good at this sort of stuff!” Jimin tilts his head in confusion. “You know, relationships! Talking to people! And I’m pretty sure Y/n is the love of my life, so I’m literally going to break down if she rejects me! I’m going to cry for days, I already know it!” Yoongi stares up at the ceiling, pouting at nothing in particular.

“She’s so perfect, smart, nice, caring, funny, strong and incredible. It hurts that she’s never going to like me the way I like her.”

“You know, Yoongi, if you never talk to her, she’s never going to know you feel that way.”

He sighs and closes his eyes, while it takes all of Jimin’s strength to restrain himself from not throwing Yoongi out of the window.

Once he’s absolutely sure that Yoongi is fully asleep, he pinches the bridge of his nose and rolls his eyes. After a few quick taps, he brings his phone up to his ear.

“Guys, I can’t deal with him anymore. We have to do something.”

✂︎

“I would like to, once again, reiterate that I am 100% against this idea.”

“Shut up, Namjoon.” Namjoon grumbles something about being unappreciated, but continues to speak up.

“It’s a bad idea, Chim. Logically, there’s only a small chance this will work out in our favour, and if it doesn't, I’m at least certain that Yoongi will dislocate all of our limbs until we’re a pile of human flesh.”

Jimin dismisses the thought. “Yoongi would never do that to us.”

“Of course he would,” Taehyung piped up. “Do you remember the time he dyed my bright pink because I made fun of Y/n for her stupid heart patterned boots and she cried?” 10 pairs of eyes slowly looked up at Taehyung.

“Well, that’s justified, we all want to murder you.” Taehyung gasps at Jin, who smiles back at him in return.

“And also, you were being a huge asshole that day and you totally deserved it. The pink hair didn’t even look that bad.” Tae smiles proudly at Jimin.

“That’s true, I fucking slayed with that pink hair. I kinda miss it, actually… ” He hums thoughtfully, scratching his chin. Jimin looks away and scoffs. Taehyung’s one of his oldest friends, but sometimes he gets a little too art-kid-college-dropout-hipster for him to handle.

“Do you guys think I should dye my hair pink again?” Nobody answers his question.

“Tae might be an absolute douchebag, but he has a point. We all know how protective Yoongi is over Y/n. Are you willing to potentially risk your life if this doesn’t work out?” Curse Namjoon for being logical. Maybe Yoongi killing him is a bit of a stretch, but he would make Jimin’s life a living hell if this operation ended up a failure.

Nevertheless, he continues to insist. “Okay, what’s the worst that could happen? I physically can’t stand Yoongi stomping around the dorm because he’s emotionally incapable of working out his feelings anymore! Yesterday he fell asleep in my bed. My bed, Namjoon. For such a tiny man, he’s really fucking heavy, I couldn’t move him and had to crash on the couch for the night. If this doesn’t end up working, Yoongi will just go back home and mope around all day long. Nothing different from what he’s doing now.”

“Um, what’s the worst that could happen?“ Namjoon asks incredulously. “How about if Yoongi finds out we tricked him, invites us to a murder mystery party, but then decides to kill us instead, and covers it up by burying our cold hard, deAD bodies in a highly unhygienic GRAVEYARD? What will you do if that happens, Jimin?“

“..........“

Nobody says anything to Namjoon, and the boys turn to Jimin once again. Shaking his head, and attempting to ignore... whatever the hell Namjoon just did, Jimin speaks.

“Oh come on guys!” He shakes his shoulders and lightly taps his foot against the ground. “Aren’t you guys tired of dealing with these two dumbasses too?” A murmur of agreement seems to go around the group, and Jimin breaks into a huge smile.

“Well, gee,“ Namjoon mumbles sarcastically. “Why don’t you just make a Namjoon Facebook hate group?“ Taehyung shushes him.

Beside him, Jin and Jungkook are exchanging money, clearly for some kind of bet. What the bet entails, Jimin has no idea, but he doesn’t have the time to question them right now.

“So, we’re in?” Everyone slowly begins to nod, all except Namjoon. Jimin beams, looking up expectantly at him. Namjoon bites his lip, and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Fine.” He grumbles out, not acknowledging Jimin’s shouts of joy. “If this goes wrong though, you bitches better be fucking responsible.”

“Well, I’m happy you’re all on board, because Hoseok is already here.” Jimin happily smiled up to find Hobi shuffling through the cafe doors, waving enthusiastically at him. He also decides to ignore the collective round of groans and ‘Jimin!’’s that went around the table.

“Why did you even ask us for our opinions if you already planned this out anyway?” Jungkook hisses, awkwardly smiling at Hoseok.

“Because you guys can never say no to me!”

“That’s only because of how fucking annoying you are, Chimmy.” Jin moves over in order to let Hoseok sit, even though he doesn’t look overjoyed at having to abandon his favourite seat.

“Well, all of you look super happy to see me.” Hobi jokes, immediately picking up Namjoon’s milkshake to take a sip.

“Sorry that you had to get dragged into all this bullshit, Hobi,” Namjoon says, pushing his milkshake towards him and sticking a second straw in the cup.

“No problem! I love pissing Yoongi off!” The group slowly stares at Hobi, who is still cheerfully sipping at Joon’s milkshake.

“Well,” Taehyung mutters. “What else do you enjoy doing in your spare time? Drowning yourself in lava?”

“Taehyung, play nice. Some people are just special. Anyways, here is the plan for Operation: Delusional Idiots Who Need To Make Out.”

“... Can’t we shorten that?”

“Yeah, seems pretty lengthy.”

“How about Operation: DIWNTMO? Like, pronounced as diwinteemo?”

“That’s… even worse, somehow.”

“Let’s just shorten it to Operation: Delusional Idiots.”

Six voices, in the middle of the busiest cafe on the school campus, suddenly shout out the words ‘Operation: Delusional Idiots!’, and a cheer goes around the table.

Onlookers wonder if they are referring to themselves.

✂︎

In hindsight, Namjoon was probably right. But Jimin can be extremely convincing sometimes, and Jin takes every opportunity to throw a party, so maybe Namjoon was fighting a lost cause in the first place.

He ponders what he wants his tombstone to say, while pacing around Jin’s apartment, where the party is already going on, full force. Maybe something like ‘Kim Namjoon (1994-2020) Murdered by Min Yoongi at a house party.’ Well, at least if he really does die tonight, it would be a good night for it.

Namjoon has many complaints about Seokjin. He could probably pull up a never ending list of the girls and guys who have come complaining to him for his friend’s mistakes, screaming about how Jin broke their heart, so and so. But, even he has to begrudgingly agree, Kim Seokjin throws one hell of a party.

It was one of those rare nights where you could actually make out the faint stars in the Seoul skyline, where the twinkling of the stars felt peaceful. Namjoon isn’t too much of a party person, but the monsters that he calls his friends go out every Friday night, pulling him along most of the time. He’s gotten used to just camping out on Jin’s fancy apartment balcony, (Seriously, what kind of college kid has a balcony?) avoiding the cheers, loud screaming and horribly unhygienic things that are happening inside.

Unfortunately, thanks to Park Jimin and his horrible ideas, Namjoon is currently wincing in the middle of a huge crowd full of sweaty bodies. He regrets not faking a fever while he could, but it was way too late now. His job tonight was to keep Y/n preoccupied.

“Remember Joonie, under no circumstances can Y/n see Yoongi before Hoseok completes the task. If she even sees a glimpse of him, she’s going to freak out and leave.”

His aforementioned target was nowhere to be seen. Namjoon is starting to worry that all their efforts will go to waste just because you decided it was another Friday to stay in bed and watch Disney movies on repea-

“wHOA!” Another sweaty hand pulls him out from the crowd, and Namjoon stumbles out, breathing heavily.

“Why aren’t you out on the balcony?”

“Why- what- oH! Y/n!”

You stare blankly at Namjoon, who is still rubbing his arm in pain.

“You came!” He says, with a look on his face that you can’t quite decipher.

“What do you mean, I came? Of course I came! It was you and Jin who insisted I come, right?” You dragged him over to the makeshift bar that Jin had set up hours ago on his kitchen island, pouring the both of you strong drinks. You’ll need it to get through the night.

“Right!” Namjoon awkwardly laughs and follows you into the kitchen, craning his neck to lock eyes with Jimin, who then gives him a thumbs up and leans over to whisper to Hoseok.

“Y/n,” He says, patting your back when you start coughing lightly from the shot you just downed. “We’re friends no matter what, right?”

“What are you talking about?” You cut him off, looking around Jin’s apartment. “Wow, it’s pretty empty today. Aren’t there usually like 50 people trying to get into one of these parties?” Luckily for Namjoon, who was almost sweating and about to cry trying to come up with an excuse to satisfy you, you ignored him and continued talking.

“Whatever, it’s fine. The less, the better.” You’re still looking around the crowds when you grab a hold of Namjoon’s shoulders, turning him towards you. “Yoongi’s not here, right?”

“What? hahahHHAHAHA nO of course not!”

“Oh okay,” You breathe out a sigh of relief. “I look terrible today, I would not be able to face him.”

“You look great today! What do you mean…!” Hopefully you dismiss the bead of sweat trailing down from his temple. It is pretty hot in here.

Apparently, it took multiple threats, to Yoongi’s coffee machine and lots of bargaining from Jimin to convince him to attend the party, but it seemed to have worked, considering that Namjoon could make out the dark figure of Yoongi, dressed in a black hoodie and ripped jeans in the corner of the room, chatting to Jungkook. His eyes, however, were riveted straight beside him, on Y/n.

“They really are idiots.” Namjoon muses to himself.

“Hm?”

“Nothing.”

From the corner of his eye, Taehyung is waving his arms around trying to catch his attention. He mouths something that Namjoon can’t quite make out, so he just mouths a ‘what?’ back at him and shakes his head.

Namjoon can almost hear Taehyung sigh from across the room.

You’re still pouring your second shot, so you don’t notice as Hoseok walks slowly from the living room. Namjoon has actually never seen his friends more concentrated on anything in his life. Even Seokjin, who was, just a second ago, dancing with some guy that Namjoon isn’t even sure he knows, has now pushed the stranger away, completely fixated on Y/n, who is blissfully oblivious to the attention focused on you.

“Hey…!” Hoseok slowly slides in, real fucking smooth, if Namjoon could add, beside Y/n leaning on his forearm and smiling up towards her. Namjoon has to commend Jimin for the execution of Operation: Delusional Idiots. He’s honestly never seen Jimin put this much work into anything.

Hoseok was the only mutual friend they knew of that Yoongi was familiar with, but not Y/n. Jimin said that he had considered Jackson for a short while, before realising that Jackson can’t talk to girls for shit. At least Hoseok can force his thoughts into some semblance of order when he’s flirting.

“Oh! … Who,” You furrow your brows at Hobi, and Namjoon slowly backs away against the kitchen wall. “Are you?” Hobi laughs and spins around to face you.

“I guess you don’t know me. I’m Jung Hoseok,” He sticks his hand out and you tentatively shake it, making him grin. “I’m friends with Namjoon.” He points up at Namjoon, and Joon awkwardly smiles, waving back at the pair.

“Ohh,” You say, nodding. “Hi! Nice to meet you!” Sometimes Namjoon worries about you. You’re way too friendly and nice for your own good.

“I’m a dance major, actually. You can call me Hobi, by the way.” He smiles at you and finally lets go of your hand. “Are you sure we’ve never met before?” You shake your head, murmuring incoherently. “No, I didn’t think so. I’d remember you if we met.” You giggle and push him aside playfully, offering him a drink. Hoseok accepts it with a smile even wider than the last.

(Namjoon is now a little skeptical about Hoseok’s claims of flirting skill, but thankfully, you are, admittedly, a little stupid when it comes to this kind of stuff. You probably won’t even notice Hobi’s flirting with you at all.)

From the corner of the room, Yoongi’s deep gaze is now glaring deep into Hoseok’s back, but Hobi either seems to not notice or acknowledge it. He continues to stare at Y/n, laughing at whatever comes out of your mouth.

“You’re a dance major? That’s so cool!” You gush, and if he didn’t know you so much, Namjoon would think that you were flirting back. No, you were just that naive.

“- Thanks!” Hobi suddenly laughs at something that Namjoon didn’t manage to catch, but what he does catch is the look on Yoongi’s face when Hobi touches your forearm.

Even Jungkook, who was talking to Yoongi, gulped and took a step back. Jin gestures something to Jimin, and Jimin shoots back an enthusiastic thumbs up. He then shouts something over to Namjoon, but he can’t quite hear over the loud party noise.

Based on his own mediocre lip-reading skills, he either said ‘It’s going well’ or ‘Jungkook smells’ He’s thinking maybe it’s the first. Namjoon slides away from the kitchen to join Jin, who is happily watching all of this unfold from the sidelines.

“When do you think he’ll break?” Jin says, sipping on a bright blue drink that Namjoon doesn’t even want to know the contents of. He quickly glances over at Yoongi’s face, which is getting redder by the moment.

“Anytime now. His glass is about to explode from his grip.” Sure enough, Namjoon predicted correctly. A few moments later, Yoongi begins to stalk over to the kitchen, and Jin clinks his bright blue monstrous concoction against Namjoon’s glass. Grumbling, Jungkook also comes over and slaps a $10 dollar bill into Jin’s palm, scowling when Jin smiles and accepts it.

“Yeah, so a group of otters are actually called a romp, can you believe that- oomph!” Seemingly popping out of nowhere, Yoongi grabs a hold of your hand, glaring at Hobi.

“Yoongi!” You squeak out. Namjoon, that fucking liar! He left you all by yourself with a new friend and didn’t even bother telling you the love of your life was in the very same room? You didn’t even wash your hair yesterday night! Well, at least someone finally listened to what you have to say about otters… say, that was a bit unordinary, nobody else has ever been interested in your otter fun facts before-

Your trail of thought fades away when you look back up at Yoongi, who is still strangely looking at Hobi. “Um...” How is he holding you right now? He flinches away whenever you poke him on the shoulder, how is he holding your arm right now, completely unaffected? Oh.

Of course Yoongi wouldn’t touch you willingly. He just has to be stupidly noble and moral and save you when you’re alone with a man he isn’t familiar with. “Oh, ah… Yoongi! This is my new friend, Hobi! You have nothing to worry about, I was just talking to him about otters and- oh, nevermind. Anyways, you don’t… have… to… hold my hand anymore.” Well, at least you can save him from the embarrassment of holding your hand any longer.

“Yoongi, Yoon- Yoongi,” He doesn’t let go of your hand, even when you attempt to slip yours out of his. He seems to be gripping on, for a reason you can’t seem to comprehend. All he’s doing right now is maintaining eye contact with Hobi. Instead, he just glares into his eyes, repeating your words.

“Friends. Friends?”

“Yes, friends! Oh, ah, let me introduce you, um, Hobi, this is Yoongi, and Yoongi, this is-”

“Jung Hoseok. You call him Hobi?”

“Well, yes- oh! Do you two know each other, or?”

“Of course!” Hobi says, pouring another drink out. He stretches out his arm and offers the glass to Yoongi, but all he does is stare at the glass, not moving an inch. Still smiling brightly, Hobi just brought the glass to his lips, sipping on two separate drinks at a time.

“Long time no see, man! Yoongi, how’ve you been?” Yoongi, still clutching onto your hand, stayed silent for a while, all while Hobi continued to smile.

“I’m… fine.” He eventually chokes out.

“Yoongi, are you okay? You seem really-” You’re once again interrupted when Yoongi pulls you away, stomping out the kitchen. You lean backwards, yelling out a quick apology to Hobi, but he doesn’t seem affected in the slightest.

“Yoongi, you’re being rude! I said you don’t have to worry! Hobi is a new friend I met, he’s a friend of Namjoon’s, and we were just talking about otters-”

“Why are you defending yourself?” Boy, you just keep on getting interrupted tonight.

“Wha- huh?” Yoongi finally lets your hand go when he reaches the apartment door, shutting it closed, leaving it swinging in midair, even though he regretted it immediately after. You can still faintly hear the party going on through the door, but you had no time to process the fact that Yoongi just pulled you outside the party when he spoke up again.

“I said, why are you defending yourself like that? You have no reason to. You’re acting like I just caught you cheating.” Yoongi’s voice turns faint towards the end of his sentence, and he looks down at his feet, stuffing his hands into his hoodie pockets.

“I’m not defending myself! I’m just- I’m just, well, I-” You fumbled with your words, stuttering and fidgeting around with your fingers. Why were you defending yourself? It’s not like… Yeah, it’s not like you’re his girlfriend or anything.

“You can talk about otters to whoever you want. You might want to change up your flirting tactics though, not many people can put up with your strange obsession with otters-”

“hEY!”

“- Anyways, Hoseok’s, not a bad man. He’s pretty great, actually,” Yoongi admits. “He’ll treat you well. And he seems to be super interested in you, so… ” Yoongi clears his throat. You narrow your eyes and look down at his shuffling feet. This is probably the most Yoongi has ever spoken to you, in private, anyway. Why is he so unbothered? And why does that bother you so much? He doesn’t even care a little bit? Does Hobi really seem like such a great guy?

“You don’t care?”

“No, just, you know, don’t get hurt, or whatever. I’ll have to murder him… Or something.” You let out a small laugh, but he doesn’t seem to be joking.

“So, if I go straight back in and ask Hobi out, you wouldn’t mind?” You swear that a vein pops out from Yoongi’s neck, but perhaps it was just your imagination.

“Why would I mind?” He says, through clenched teeth.

“... You’re right. Why would you be mad? You don’t care about me anyways.” Something ticks in Yoongi’s jaw.

“What do you mean I don’t care for you?” He blurts out, just as you were about to head back through the apartment door.

“Oh no, please, it doesn’t bother me as much now, trust me. It’s fine, Some people just don’t… vibe with you, I get it! You don’t like me all that much, it’s okay! It’s not like you’ve hurt me or anything! You just don’t like talking to me because I’m kind of a dumbass, that’s alright. It’s okay to keep avoiding me. And again, I’m sorry for the whole elbow thing, you didn’t talk to me for like the next two weeks, and again, I totally understand, you know?” Yoongi stares at you, blinking in realisation.

“So… you mean to tell me that all this time, you’ve thought that… I didn’t like you?”

“Well,” Now you’re blinking confusedly along with him. “Isn’t that… why you run away everytime I come over to hangout with Jimin?” Yoongi brings his hands out of his pockets and buries his face in them, groaning.

“And that’s why you don’t like talking to me, right? And that one time I spoke to you and you went into the bathroom and screamed for like five minutes? … Do you not hate me?” A look of realisation floods his eyes, and Yoongi leans against the wall, slowly sinking down to the ground until he’s practically sprawled out on the floor. Staring aimlessly, he reaches up and grabs your hand again, pulling you down to face him. You let out a small squeak, but you crouch down on your feet, awkwardly looking at your right hand that Yoongi (!!!) is currently holding for the second (!!!!) time.

“Forgive me, Y/n.” He whispers, dropping his head onto your hand.

“Forgive you? What for? Yoongi this is a little dramatic, don’t you think? This is technically a public area, um, maybe you wanna go back to your dorm? I can call Jimin out here, I’m sure he’ll leave the party early, let me just-” He pulls you back and won’t let go, even when you try to stand and leave his grip.

“Yoongi!” Like a child clutching onto his mother, he just sits there and pouts, not letting your hand go.

“I’m sorry!” He wails, lightly kicking his feet up. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for being my emo self and avoiding you, I’m sorry for making you think I hate you when that really isn’t the case at all, I’m sorry for being an idiot and screaming whenever you touched me, I promise that none of that was ever your fault, because you must have felt so hurt and disgusted by me-” Yoongi suddenly looks up and glares at you.

“Yah! Why didn’t you just slap me!”

“Slap… you?”

“Yes, slap some sense into me, you idiot! I was so mean to you, why didn’t you just tell me you were hurt?”

“Well,” You said, smiling nervously. “I wasn’t hurt!”

“Yes you were!” He wails again. Some sort of strangled noise comes from the back of his throat. “You must’ve been really hurt, and I’m sorry! I don’t want you to be hurt! I don’t want you to date Hobi, and I don’t want to lose you, because I’m selfish, and I’m fucking stupid!”

You speechlessly opened your mouth and closed it again, like a fish. Well, that was a full 180. What is he talking about? Apologising? You had dealt with the uncomfortable small talk and denying your feelings for years only to have him apologise now? You finally manage to open your mouth and firmly say something, but what comes out of your mouth is certainly not what you planned to say.

“Min Yoongi!” You yelled and watched him slightly tilt his head up. “How could you say that now!?” His head is fully up now, gazing at you slightly dazed. “How dare you mess with my feelings for the past two years, just to completely, unexpectedly, blurt all of this out outside of Seokjin’s shitty house party?” You cry, slouching down onto the ground and sitting cross legged. Your unoccupied hand reaches up to your hair, frustratingly running your hand through your messy locks.

“... If it counts for anything, I think that your obsession with otters is really cute.” You sniffle, for no particular reason, and nod.

“... Does that mean you like me then?”

“Y/n,” Yoongi sighs, taking your other hand out of your hair and placing it into his own. “Isn’t that obvious, you fucking dumbass?”

“You’re kinda giving off mixed signals here.” Yoongi squishes your cheeks together in a brave act from an unusual burst of courage that he managed to somehow build up.

“Y/n,”

“Mmph- Yesh?”

“I like you. I like you a lot. I’m sorry for being a dumbass who couldn’t ask you out, and I’m sorry I had to do this at Seokjin’s ‘shitty house party’, but I’d really like it if you would go on a date with me sometime.”

Yoongi releases your cheeks from his grip when you stay silent for a small while, red slowly creeping up from the neck up to his ears.

“I mean, you know, only if you want to, it’d be fine if all of that was just, you know… ” Yoongi mutters, gesturing around randomly.

“I’d love to go on a date with you, Yoongi.”

“Oh. Cool, that’s cool. That’s… yeah that’s cool.”

“Text me the details?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll, I’ll do- I’ll do that.”

You can hear a faint scream when you enter Seokjin’s apartment again, but instead of filling you with the insecure, horrible feeling like it once did, you just smile and giggle to yourself again. What you don’t seem to notice is Jimin, Jin, Joon, Tae, Jungkook and Hobi exchanging victorious glances across the room.

(About a week later, Yoongi took you to the zoo for your date. He slightly regretted that decision after you spent an hour making faces at the otters.)

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taleasnewastime · 4 years ago

Text

There’s no way

Jin x reader genre: fluff word count: 3.3k

a/n: This is basically just a whole ramble based off the song “There’s no way” by Lauv and Julia Michaels. Hope you enjoy and it’s not too much waffle!

The film you were watching with the boys was slowly coming to an end as you felt a yawn leave your mouth. You worked with the boys and it had become a sort of weird tradition that when you were home and had a day off you would come round and watch a film together. Tonight, you were watching You’ve Got Mail as it was new on Netflix. It was one of your all-time favourite films so you forced yourself to stay awake throughout although you were knackered from your countless days of working.

Just as Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks started making out in the park you kicked the blankets off you making Jin jump next to you.

“Right if I don’t go now, I don’t think I will ever go,” you leap off the sofa.

“Why don’t you just stay?” Yoongi states.

“Because I live 5 minutes down the road and I have a perfectly good bed there and then it means I won’t have to wake up tomorrow morning and deal with you lot.”

“Fair enough, just saying that the offer is always there.”

“Thanks Yoongi,” you smile at him as you start walking towards the door.

“Don’t forget we’re all going to that bar tomorrow to celebrate,” Jimin shouts as you head closer to the door.

“Yeah yeah, I know, see you guys there at 8.”

You finally reach the door and start to put your shoes on.

“You know, Yoongi is right, you are always welcome to stay over.” You hadn't realised Jin had followed you to the door until he spoke.

As you finish putting your shoes on you stand up and put your jacket round your shoulders.

“And as I said to Yoongi, I appreciate the offer but I have a perfectly decent flat just 5 minutes away,” you look up into Jins eyes and smile. “Thanks for tonight. And thanks for being on my side for watching You’ve Got Mail. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow? Is Clare going to be joining us?”

“Yeah, tomorrow. I think she’ll be there. I mean I’ve invited her but we’re kind of going through a rough patch at the moment so who knows what she’ll do.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Jin, I didn’t realise.”

Clare was Jin current girlfriend. From what you knew the two of them had only been going out for a few months so you were surprised when he said things weren’t going well.

“No worries. To tell you the truth it's not been good for a while now,” he leans against the wall and runs a hand over his face. “What about you?”

“What?” He looks into your eyes as you look back at him confused.

“Are you bringing anyone tomorrow?” He says it so seriously, eyes not leaving yours.

“Nope. You know how it goes, if you have somebody then I don’t, and if I have somebody, you don’t.” A smile breaks onto his face at this long-standing joke. For as long as you had known Jin there was never a moment when you had either both been with somebody at the same time or both been single. Much to your dismay.

“So, I guess I will just see you tomorrow then,” he says softly.

“Yep, tomorrow,” you reply just as softly.

You stand staring at each other for what felt like hours, but is really just a few seconds, before you finally turn and open the door, walking through it. You give him one last smile as you close the door and head home.

The next night comes around fast. Mainly because you had a hectic morning of doing odd jobs. Before you know it you are walking into the loud bar who’s address you’d been sent by Jimin. As you make your way to the bar you recognise a few faces of people you work with you smile at them as you go to get a drink.

“You finally made it,” a voice almost shouts out next to you.

“I would call this being on time,” you turn to smile at Jimin.

“We won't count the minutes, but if we were to, I’d say you were 13 minutes late,” you laugh at him as he gives you a hug. “13 minutes late or not I’m glad you came,” he whispers into your ear.

“I mean I think I’m probably somehow contractually obliged to come tonight.”

“Don’t lie, you love coming to these things.”

“Come on let's just get a drink.”

Jimin orders you both a drink and picks them both up when they are placed in front of him. Without saying anything he walks away from you leaving you to trail behind. He finally places the drinks down on a corner table and as you reach to take a sip you are embraced in yet another hug.

“Y/N, you came,” Jungkook squeezes you a tad too tightly.

“Why are you all assuming I wouldn’t have come?” You pout slightly as Jungkook pulls away.

“Because your Y/N,” Hoseok puts an arm around your shoulder squeezing slightly and smiling.

“And what the hell does that mean.”

“It means, you’re like me,” Yoogni stays seated as he looks up at you. “You wouldn’t be here unless you had to be.”

You simply scoff in response. “I mean am I that boring and predictable?”

“Hey, are you calling me boring and predictable?” Yoongi mocks hurt, everyone else laughing.

You roll your eyes and take a sip of your drink. “And here I was going to say it's nice to see you guys,” you glance around the room. “Where are the others anyway?”

“Jins over talking to someone by the snacks I think.”

You immediately look towards the snack table, only to try and hide you quick reaction looking back to Jimin. “And Tae and Joon?”

“Oh right, I think I heard them talking about getting some more drinks.”

You hum in response and the conversation moves on. As it does you start to tune out and turn back to look over to the snack table. It had only been a day, less than that, probably only a few hours, since you’d seen Jin but you couldn’t wait to see him again. As someone moved away from the table you caught sight of him. He had a plate in his hand and he was chatting to someone next to him. One of them obviously said something funny because Jins face lights up as his head rolls back slightly into a big laugh. Although you were too far away to hear it you can imagine the sound and a slight smile takes form on your face. You turn back to the conversation going on at the table in front of you, smile still on your face, as you meet Yoongis eyes. The smile drops from your face as if you have been caught in some awful act but he just gives you a sad smile in acknowledgement. Your face heats up slightly as you ignore Yoongi and try to listen to what Hoseok is saying, adding your own comments and jokes to the mix.

“Guys, the food tonight is some of the best I’ve had at one of these things. I brought back a plate for you to have but if you want more you should go now, saw a few people pigging out so don’t think it's going to last.” A plate is set down on the table in front of you and Jungkook immediately grabs some sandwiches. “Hey Y/N,” you look to see Jin smiling down at you.

“Hey,” you smile back up at him.

You continue to stare into each other's eyes for a second more before he interrupts. “If you want any of that food I’d get in quick.”

You turn to see the plate is nearly empty as each of the boys is almost shovelling the food into their mouths. You give a big laugh as you watch.

You turn back to Jin smile still on your face to see him already looking at you. You smile falters slightly as you aren’t expecting him to be looking your way. “Where’s Clare then?” You ask.

“Oh, um, she couldn’t make it,” the smile that was on his face falls.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t worry about it, she had something else going on anyway.”

“Right,” you sigh. “You know, I should socialise with other people,” you clap your hands together, looking around the room. “As much as I love hanging out with you guys, I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression that I have favourites. And as Yoongi so rightly pointed out, this is a works party and I should probably mingle with some other people.”

“But I am your favourite right?” Jimin pouts at you.

“Of course, Chim,” you beam at him as you pick up you glass and give a slight wave at them all as you walk off.

For the rest of the night you talk to your work colleagues and get slightly inebriated. It's not until the music starts to get louder and room is made for people to dance that you realise how drunk you truly are. You and another girl dance over to where the space has been cleared and start jumping around to the music. You hadn’t seen any of the boys since you left them earlier in the night so you couldn’t help but smile when Jimin comes bounding over.

“Chim!” You almost scream, wrapping him in a tight hug.

He laughs in your arms and starts to rock you both to the music before taking your arms and twirling around. You can’t stop laughing as you both dance together, starting to involve your friend too.

“Hobi!” Jimin suddenly screams trying to get the mans attention, arms flailing in the air. Hobi spins around and his face erupts into a beaming smile at the sight of Jimin. Strutting over he joins your growing circle of dancers. As more and more people join and as the night goes on you became more and more delirious, both from laughing and alcohol.

Mid laugh you make eye contact with Jin who’s stood on his own at the edge of the crowd of dancers. You immediately start making your way over to him, smile never leaving your face.

“Why aren’t you dancing?” You ask.

“You know I’m not the best dancer.”

“Pull the other one, you are 10 times better than me and I’m still out there shaking my ass,” you laugh, demonstrating the moves you were previously doing on the dance floor.

“Oh, I saw,” he states under his breath. “I’m happy to observe tonight.”

“No come on, I am not having that.”

And with that you take his hand and start dragging him back to the spot you previously occupied. You ignore the feeling in the hand that is holding his, but when you get to your destination and let it go you miss the feeling. Putting those thoughts to the back of your mind, you go back to dancing. It takes him a few minutes but in no time Jin joins in with everyone and is soon doing the craziest dances. But it doesn’t take long for a wave of sleep to come over you. One second the life of the party, the next second you wish you were tucked up in bed.

“I think it’s my bed time,” Jin has to lean down so you can speak into his ear.

“Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

You grab your coat on the way out and try putting it on as you walk down the steps outside, which was a bad decision as you stumble slightly.

“Easy there,” Jin pulls you into him so you don’t fall. You laugh almost hysterically as you both make your way down the rest of the steps. “How much did you have to drink tonight?”

“I lost count when Jimin started bring me shots.”

“And this is why you should never go on a night out with Jimin.”

“Hey, he’s fun. And I’m not that drunk.”

“Yeah, not sure how much of that I believe. Shall I call you a taxi?”

“Nah, I think I’ll walk.”

Jins head shoots to you. “No, I don’t think you will.”

“I’m a big girl, I’ve walked myself home many times, I’m sure I won’t get lost,” you button up your coat and pull your bag in closer readying yourself for the walk home. It was only a 15-minute walk anyway.

“It’s not you getting lost I’m worried about Y/N.”

“Well there should be nothing to worry about then,” you smile up at him sarcastically. “It’s been a lovely night Jin, thanks for dancing with me.”

“Y/N.”

“Oh and thanks for bring that plate of food over at the start of the night,” you ignore him, not giving him a chance to get a work in.

“Y/N.”

“Not that I had much of the food as the boys gobbled it before I got a look in.”

“Y/N,” Jin almost shouts to get you to stop talking and it works as you stare at him in shocked silence. “If you will let me talk, I was going to say that I will walk you home.”

“Oh no need, I know the way.”

Jin sighs but couldn’t help the slight laugh that leaves his lips. “I’m not worried about you getting lost Y/N. If you won’t get a taxi, I won’t let you walk home alone.”

“Fine,” you say stubbornly. “You know, sometimes it feels like you’re my dad.”

“Well sometimes I feel like I’m the dad of 6 boys, so what’s the difference if I add one more person to that.”

“Come on then, at the moment you should be more concerned about me catching a cold. If you’re walking me home let's go,” you roll your eyes as you start walking off.

He soon catches you up and you fall into a steady rhythm. You start talking easily about the night you had just had, laughing at things that you’d both heard that night and you smile to yourself at how nice it is. As you walk you felt the tension between the two of you build, hands occasionally brushing against one another. The tension between the two of you wasn’t unusual and if you were honest you had always felt like you and Jin would eventually get together but the timing was never right.

As you walked, talked and laughed you felt so happy. You wished you could make time stop and forget everyone and everything except the two of you. But you remained calm and hid your feelings from him, though you didn’t think you ever did a good job. Any idiot could probably tell how in love with him you were.

15 minutes later you arrive at your door. As you push open the door and start walking in Jin stays still.

“Not coming in?” You turn around to face him and stand so you are holding the door open.

“I should probably head home too.”

“At least come in for a drink while you wait for a taxi.”

“I think I’ll walk.”

“Is this my queue to offer to walk you home?” You roll your eyes at him and a light chuckle leaves his lips.

“It’s a 5-minute walk, I think I’d be home and in bed by the time a taxi was to even consider turning up.”

“You sure it’s not just because you don’t want to spend more time with me,” you mock as a pout comes to your lips.

“You know that I would spend every second with you if I could.”

You heart stops.

“So why don’t you come in?” Your question comes out almost as a whisper.

Jin sighs, running a hand over his face. “It’s been a long night. I think I just need some sleep.”

“Oh,” is all you can think to say as your eyes drop to the floor. His feet soon come into your sight and you feel his hand on your cheek. He lifts you head so you are looking at him again.

“I had a really nice night. We’ll see each other again soon, yeah?”

“I’m sure we’ll probably see each other at work on Monday,” you smile sadly at him.

He slowly leans into you and you remain still. Eyes still locked to his. Heart pounding in your chest. As he inches closer you suddenly come to your senses and turn your head at the last minute, pulling him into a hug to cover up whatever was about to happen.

As you pull away you look back at him and say, “well I hope Clare is OK and you can hang out on the weekend.”

His hand scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “Yeah, same.”

A few more awkward moments pass.

“Well I should head off.”

“Thanks for walking me home. And get home safe yourself, text me when you get in so I know your OK.”

“Of course,” he says before heading off into the night.

It had been almost a week since that night and you hadn’t seen or spoken to Jin since. The last text you received from him was him saying that he had got home safely, which you hadn’t replied to. So, you were surprised when you saw his name on your phone screen indicating that he was calling you.

“Hello?” You answer.

“Have you got a boyfriend?”

You were confused by the statement and even held your phone out to check it was Jin you were talking to.

“What?”

“You heard me, have you got a boyfriend? Or have you been on dates with anyone recently that you could see becoming your boyfriend?”

“What are you on about Jin?”

“Just answer the question, Y/N.”

“No Jin, I don’t have a boyfriend. You only saw me last week, and I had no boyfriend, or potential boyfriend then, who do you think I am?” You laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Me and Clare have broken up.”

“Oh,” you find yourself at a loss for words again. “I’m sorry to hear that Jin.”

“Don’t be, like I said it’s been bad for a while.”

“What has this got to do with me having a boyfriend?”

“Whenever I break up with someone you are always fresh into a relationship, I just wanted to check.”

“Seriously?” You laugh.

“Yeah, because if you had a boyfriend then I couldn’t ask you out on a date.”

You heart stops. Why does it always do that around this man?

“What? Jin you’ve just broken up with your girlfriend and you’re asking me on a date?”

“If I wait much longer my chance will be gone. I’ve wanted to go out with for a while but time has never lined up. Well, now it’s lining up and I want to go on a date with you.”

“I don’t want to be just a rebound for you Jin.”

“Y/N, you could never be a rebound,” he says sternly. “You know how much I care for you.”

“OK,” a smile takes over your face, your heart taking over from your mind.

“OK?” He says in slight shock.

“OK!” You say smile now fully taking over your face and heart pounding in your chest as you think about the date you have been imagining for so long that is finally going to happen.

115 notes · View notes

cosmicsunsett · 4 years ago

Text

I would give I own (just to have you back again)

AO3 LINK https://archiveofourown.org/works/25316791/chapters/61381060

Los Angeles, December of 1979

“Chris! C’mon, boy, Carla is here!” Eddie said as he greeted the smiling woman, both entering the Diaz home.

“I’m coming! Almost there.” Chris’ voice echoed over the tiny house hallway.

Eddie smiled when he heard the familiar tapping of his kid’s slow steps, even when he felt the weight of his worry and exasperation coming down on him as he went back to his desk to finish up some calculations of unpaid old bills and other debts that not even him knew it existed. Eddie had always been careful to make Chris’ school, his physiotherapy and his speech therapist his priority while paying the bills. Yet, he noticed that even if he held back shopping for trivial things, he would still be on the negative.

“The beauty of the adult life, huh?” Carla eyed Eddie as she greeted Chris on the living room, next to Diaz who had been frowning, face heavy. He was barely lifting his head up from all the paper that covered the table. “It’s hard, but you get used to it.”

“I hope I never have to get used to it,” Eddie mumbled and halted when he noticed his son was coming his way, his bag already on his back. “Hey friend, did you get everything? Finished your homework?”

“Yes, dad. But I wanted to show you something,” the boy fished a crumbled paper from his pants pocket, probably had been folded a couple of times by the same artist standing in front of Eddie.

Well, obviously he deduced it was a drawing, since Eddie had a drawer full of them, some even fixed to the fridge.

Eddie met Carla’s gaze over Chris’ head and shrugged, smiling.

“What did you get me this time?” Eddie smiled as he received the paper, but before he could unfold, Chris shouted.

“No! Dad, this is for Buck! You can’t see,”Chris said seriously, as if Eddie was holding something too precious in his hands.

Carla placed a hand over her mouth, trying to smother his laughter after seeing the stunned expression on Eddie’s face.

“Oh, I see.” Eddie mock pouted, looking sad, for Chris’ amusement. Even only seven years old, Chris knew his dad was just playing around. “I’ve been replaced by my own son. So, is Buck better than I?”

“I knew something had pulled me to this house for some reason in the right timing. I could never miss the answer to that.”

Three pair of eyes turned to a familiar voice, the owner standing next to the front door’s frame. Eddie didn’t hold back his smile as he caught the happiness on Chris’ laugh. He hadn’t been the only one, if Buck’s gaze was anything to go by.

“Buck!”

“Hey, superman!” Buck have Carla a quick hug before crouching down to give one of the same to Chris, if a little tighter and careful. “How’s your strength? And where’s my high five?”

When the boy’s tiny hand slapped against his, Buck tossed himself on the ground, face contorted in mock pain, which provoked burst of laughter from Christopher.

“What kind of beans is your father feeding you?” Buck replied, lifting up from the ground and running a hand over the kid’s hair, “I think I need some of that.”

“I don’t know about that, I only know Christopher Diaz needs to go to school.” Eddie interrupted, looking at the wall clock and shrieking. “Time to go, buddy.”

“Please, dad, only five more minutes.” Chris turned to gaze at his father.

“Yes, dad, only five more minutes.” Buck widened his eyes are far as it could go. He could imagine Hen and Chim mocking him for his puppy eyes.

Eddie could feel his heart beating against his ribs, almost forgetting how to be a father and a responsible friend of these two kids, instead of only one of them. And, unfortunately, it seemed he was yet to be immune to those two set of eyes at the same time.

Against his pride, he called for backup.

“Not five, or ten, or twenty. Carla, please, can you take this two children out?” Diaz got up from his chair and gently nudging Chris towards Carla, who laughed, looking as won over as Eddie felt.

“C’mon, kid. The fastest you go, the quicker you’ll be back, an-” Buck was cut mid phrase by Eddie’s not-so-gentle elbow to his waist. “Ow.”

“Dad, don’t forget about the paper!” Chris whispered over Eddie’s ear as they hugged.

“I won’t, promise you.” Eddie chuckled, waving to his kid and Carla before closing the door and turning, only to be face to face with a new problem to deal with.

Blue eyes. Golden locks, which barely covered a well known birthmark. And a smile that always seemed to promise something mischievous.

“Hi.”

“Hello, and goodbye.” Eddie placed his hands over a confused Buck, dragging him to the door. “I’m a little busy right now, and I don’t need a distraction.”

“I need to have a words with your abuela. If she knew that this is how you treat your guests, she’d come to you armed with a wooden spoon.” Buck jammed his feet on the floor, spinning around and coming face to face with his friend’s brown eyes, only to finally pay a closer attention to his friend’s tired face, and to the bags under his eyes that screamed ‘leave me alone’ and ‘help me’.

“Buck, please.”

“What’s going on?”

Eddie sighed, knowing it would be useless to try and kick out Buck now. And if he was being honest with himself, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with the other man. Eddie had the feeling they had spent five months apart, after five consecutive days without seeing each other.

Buck eyed him as he followed his friend back to the table he had been sitting at when Buck arrived the house. Pulling a chair over, he sat and waited Eddie to start speaking, but as he read what was on the papers Eddie held, and watched as his scratched and wrote numbers angrily on the edges of said papers, Buck knew.

“Bills?”

“And debts.” Eddie sighed tiredly. “I was doing the maths, it seems the expenses surpassed what I had expected. I just need to cut somethings, maybe less trips to the supermarket, be more strict with water and power usage. Maybe even do some extra hours.”

Buck shook his head, worried. Over the last few weeks, he had mentioned to Eddie about two open spots at the firefighter station, and he knew Eddie was in shape, besides having already enlisted and possessing a silver star, something his best friend would dodge whenever it came up in a conversation, and Buck never pressured Eddie to talk about it.

And Buck knew how dangerous it was to be alone with his thoughts, which sometimes can quickly morph into frustrations and worries and concerns that then becomes a big ball of anxiety. And, as Buck watched Eddie’s hand coming to his creased forehead for the third time that morning, Buck knew he needed to stop that ball from growing more inside his friend’s chest. Either way, he couldn’t stand watching this man get sad nor upset.

Day after day he had to make peace with himself for wanting to protect Eddie from any evil, even the things he didn’t have control over. At least he would try helping what was on his reach.

“Let’s go out.”

“What?” Eddie barely lifted his eyes from where he was scratching on the paper, his pencil in a tight grip between his fingers. It wasn’t until he felt warm fingers touching his chin and dragging his face from the papers did he look up to those blue eyes, staring intently at him.

“We are going out. Get ready, I’ll wait for you.”

“Buck, I can’t, I have to-”

“Funny, I can swear I’m hearing some kind of muffled noise, but I can’t tell what it is.” Buck replied, pretending to look around for the fake source of the sound, chuckling low at Eddie rolling his eyes. “Can you hear it? Sounds like a buzz, like a very annoying bug.”

“God, even my son is more mature than that.” Eddie got up, knowing it was already a lost cause. And he didn’t want to admit it, but he was ready to burst into flames if he had to do more math or if he found yet another bill to be paid.

“I can assure you that’s not the case, or he wouldn’t be my best best friend.” Calmly, Buck started cleaning his nails, oblivious to the murderous glare Eddie was shooting his way. “Unlike his father. Hurry now, Diaz!”

After a few minutes, as they were ready to leave, Eddie pulled the colorful paper from the table and placed inside his jean pocket. His eyes landed on the piles of paper on the table for a beat, but he soon snapped out of it when Buck’s rough voice sounded from a some meters away.

“Ready?” he asked, opening the door and waiting.

Eddie spent minutes trying to guess, and fail, where Buck was taking him. A few moments ago he watched from the rearview mirror as the city grew smaller and now, tired of looking at the empty road, he turned to the driver as a familiar playful smile grew on his lips as it always did when he was a passenger on the beetle.

His eyes lazily followed Buck’s long legs trying its best to fit on the small space, traveling upwards to the wide hands holding steady the steering wheel. The sleeves of his green sweater were rolled neatly around his wrists, making his muscled forearms pop. Eddie’s eyes continued up, observing how his shoulders were almost curved as Buck tried to make himself as small as possible, or how his blonde locks moved with the chilly breeze coming from the open window and his beard, a highlight around his rosy lips. Lastly, but not the least important, he stared at the deep blue eyes, focused only on the road ahead.

“What?” Buck asked, trying not to move under Eddie’s long stare. His hands started to sweat suddenly.

“Nothing.”

“You’re a bad liar, did you know that?” Buck shook his head, puffing out a gush of air. “Look at the backseat.”

Before turning, Eddie arched his eyebrows in his suspicious Diaz way, something Buck grew used to after dealing with it for almost two years.

“I won’t find a black garbage bag and a shovel, will I?”

“Oh my God, and I’m the kid.” Buck answered, failing to stop himself from laughing together with Eddie. “Now I know why Chris’ so creative.”

Said the man that calls me in the middle my working hours to ask if I knew about whales’ lifespan and that they hunt orcas before going off in a spiral to explain the seaworld for almost an hour with no interruptions.

Eddie scoffed, ready to respond, until he decided against it as he turned back and saw normal paper bags instead. He pulled them to his lap and his mouth fell open, watering up at the smell coming from it. Pastries and cheese balls.

“I think I can start loving you now.”

“How to win over Edmundo Diaz’ heart: cheap but good food, check.” Buck puffed out his chest, looking proud of himself for getting the right food. “Wait, starting now? What the hell?”

“Language, Buckley.” Eddie shoved a cheese ball into his mouth, moaning low and completely ignoring the outraged expression that Buck had turned to him. “Or there won’t be nothing left for you.”

“I hate you.” The blonde pointed out, grumbling, which only made Eddie laugh louder, “A lot! Just so you know, in case you didn’t before.”

“Now I know. You’re so good to me. Thank you.”

“Now you know. You’re welcome.”

Twenty minutes later, Eddie noticed the beetle turning into a narrower road, around a huge forest that enveloped the main road. It descended to a wide beach, and beyond that only a vastness of blue. His feelings caught him unaware, he was obviously unprepared for the destination Buck chose them for that afternoon. As the beach got closer, Eddie placed a hand on his best friend’s thigh, in a silent thank you, and in a split second, Buck’s hand found his. They stayed like that until they left the car, walking to the beach.

“So, what’d you think?” Buck asked his best friend, sitting side by side on the sand close to the ocean. Some moments had gone by, both man had been lost in thought, both gazing the sea, far away from there, until Buck managed to slowly come back to himself first.

Eddie took a deep breath, enjoying the cold breeze that’d been messing with his hair. It seemed like Buck new exactly what he needed in that moment, before he even knew it himself. Maybe one day he could put into words how much that meant to him, how much he felt cared for, for the first time ever.

“This had gone completely differently than I had been expecting, I must confess.” He answered, watching as Buck carefully stared back while eating the last remaining of the pastries, thanks to Eddie, “I thought you’re going to take me to your new apartment to help you finish moving. Speaking of that, how is it going?”

Buck shrugged, chewing as he watched the waves breaking on the sea.

“I’m slowly getting there. After living with Bobby and Athena for a while, I didn’t receive any warm reception from my neighbours. But the building is sound. A little over my budget but it’s only for the time being. I just couldn’t continue reveling on their generosity. To be a burden.”

Something like a warning siren played in the back of Eddie’s mind with Buck’s admission.

“Buck, I only know Bobby and Athena for a small amount of time, but I’m sure that you were never a bother to them.” Eddie closed the distance between them, shoulders touching shoulders to the dirty toes in the sand. It was only because the temperature was dropping and he forgot to bring a jacket, he thought quickly.

Of course.

With Buck’s silence, Eddie added.

“And… you always have a place at our home.”

Eddie felt his heart aching, feeling it squeezing as he noticed the insecurity laced over his best friend’s posture. They would often joke, fight, and over time they had become inseparable, turning into a running gag between their friends, Eddie didn’t care. What he did care was that Buck knew how much he was valued, how important he was, and how loved.

“Hey,” Diaz nudged Buck’s shoulder with his own, waiting those blue eyes to turn, even if they were suddenly afar and glazed with sadness. “I meant it. I know that sometimes I act like you’re nothing more than a nuance, but-”

Come on, Diaz. You know it’s true, just say it.

Buck waited, unusually pacient. Quiet.

“I can’t imagine my life without you today.” Eddie declared, letting his words to be taken by the breeze and waited till they started making sense in Buck’s head. But, deep inside, he knew, after so long knowing each other, both had trouble understanding some things truly. “And neither in my future, Evan. You make me so happy, that sometimes I think I can’t handle it.”

“Handle what?”

“Feel happy. Be happy.” he completed, and smiled seeing Buck lower his face not so discreetly to clear his eyes. Sighing, Eddie picked the now empty paper bag from Buck’s hands, placed it close to their boots, and pulled Buck’s head down to lay on his lap. He didn’t know he needed that until Buck smiled up at him, eyes slightly red gazing at him. “Did you bring me here to watch the sea or me?”

“Both.” Buck’s smile widened for a moment, and he closed his eyes when Eddie started running a hand through his locks, fiddling with it the same way he did with Chris, whenever Eddie wanted a moment of peace. “Hey, Eddie?”

His hand ceased its movement, and he focused only on the man on his lap.

“How are you, really?”

‘I’m fine’ was ready to leave his lips, but Buck’s eyes asked for honesty and trust. And, well, if there was someone who should get an honest answer, this someone was right there. Eddie knew that, even though Buck gave him the space he wanted, and was so very patient, Eddie knew he needed to push his own limits, get out of his comfort zone.

Not only for Buck, or for their relationship, but for himself.

Eddie’s gaze fell on the sea, searching inside himself a place to open up what he’d been holding for months. Years.

“I’m… trying to be ok, Evan.” His fingers continued to wander Buck’s hair, trying to give some comfort to the man, who deserved the world, and some for himself, too, because he knew they were entering one of those intense moments, where both wore big boy’s pants. To talk about feelings… it had never been Eddie’s forte. But for Buck it had always seemed so easy, so Eddie knew he needed to give his best friend something in return, sometimes, even if silently. “Too many changes in too little time. To move with Chris to LA even after seeing how disappointed my parents were, to be a single dad, have sex in secrecy with my wife and separating my child from his own mother… you know, only another day at work.” he paused, “That night, when I saw Shannon-”

Buck, sensing the sudden silence, lifted his hand up to caress the stubbled face of the man that held him.

“Hey, come back to me,” he said, feeling a tiny smile stretch his lips as he watched the tension in Eddie’s jaw dissipating, even if his shoulders were still hard as rock, like so many times when Buck watched his friend drowning in worry. “If you don’t wanna talk, that’s fine.”

“No, I… I want to,” Eddie answered, but grimaced a second later, “Actually, I really don’t, but I need to.”

“Ok,” Buck nodded peacefully. “Take your time.”

“Ever since I was a kid- it’s like I’ve been taught to see the world in a specific way, see the world with the design my parents taught me.” Eddie shrugged, feeling the tension stretching on his skin. “Study, get a job, build a family. Provide, support, do my best so that this pillar never falls.”

After a beat of silence, Eddie almost didn’t catch the question, distracted by the heavy clouds coming their way.

“And who takes care of you, Eddie?”

Buck only received a small smile in return, as Eddie’s eyes were distant, looking at something in his past.

“Me, I guess. It’s never been something that I’ve placed above all else. My dad always taught my sisters and me that we could swallow what life thrown our way, and we could march on. Sit down, lower our heads, suffer… those had never been part of his teachings.” Eddie sighed, feeling a knot growing in his throat. “Men of the Diaz family needed to be steady, strong. The time you waste crying, is time lost, according my dad.

“And indeed, I followed that road, and still do, at least when dealing with myself, old habits are hard to kill. But you know...” The fingers of his free hand started picking at the buttons of Buck’s jacket. “Shannon and I never taught Chris any of this shit. We really give our everything to the kid. And there’s nothing more important than him. Nothing. And that’s why, above all that had gone between me and Shannon, I loved her. But that’s also why I was afraid to let her close to us again.”

After a long pause, Eddie let his gaze fall to find out he’d been observed by Buck, which wasn’t a surprise, but there was something in his expression, something different. His face probably expressed his confusion then, because Buck started searching for words to say, looking serious and thoughtful. But Eddie continued, feeling his words flowing freely, even if the voice inside his head told him to stop, to not lose control. He was being too emotional, too open.

Vulnerable.

“Shannon and I met at seventeen, too young and in love.” Eddie sighed again, looking at this ring finger that was now missing the ring that had sat there for years. “And then she got pregnant, which lead us to our other big step. They were great years, there had been love, but I think there always had been something missing between us. And apparently, our communication slowly became awful, and I took over taking care of the bills after Chris was born, and became absent as a husband, father and-”

Eddie noticed something might have caught Buck’s attention, because at one moment he had his head rested on Eddie’s lap, but in the other Buck was sitting up right in front of him, leaning over his arm on the humid sand, his head only inches apart from Eddie’s. His blue eyes almost competing with the ocean behind him to see who was the bluest.

“Edmundo Diaz, what I’m about to say will not only be said because you’re my best friend and because I know you. And I’m sure it is one of those universally known truths that everyone can see it except one person. You.”

That moment, like so many countless others, in which Eddie shown himself as this incredible man, Buck wished his friend could see himself like Buck saw him. Behind all the sarcasm and his ‘manly attitude’ (which Buck had mocked him of when Eddie would sometimes say something inappropriate and Buck would scold him) he saw his friend’s flaws, but also his good qualities and right actions.

“You are a marvelous dad, Eddie. And was a good husband too. Hey,” Buck held his hand up when Eddie started to open his mouth to interrupt him. “You were. And I don’t know, but I got the impression that despite all Shannon mistakes, she had also been a good wife. She’s still a good mother, who calls and worries about her son. Eddie, you have no idea how good it’s to have all that. Maddie and I didn’t have that. So, from experience, and from any other person with good functioning brain cells it’s obvious. It’s a naked simple truth.”

Eddie stared at him, frozen in place by the intensity and the wild veracity in Buck’s eyes. He felt his stomach churning, shaking his head as he felt his eyes stinging while he looked at the horizon.

“I know that Shannon and you committed mistakes, as a couple and even as parents, but you try so much Eddie, you fight everyday to give him only the best. And to see his admiration and love glazing on his eyes when he looks at you? It’s impressive.” Buck smile when he noticed the tears falling from the face he knew so perfectly, even with his eyes closed. With a soft caress, he cleaned the wet tracks on Eddie’s cheeks. “You are so gentle with everyone, why not with yourself?”

The silence stretched between them. and when Eddie finally felt steady enough to speak again, he replied.

“You really know your way around words, huh? Damn it, I’m never letting you kidnap me again, look at what you did. Fuck”

Buck threw his head back with a burst of laughter.

“Careful, Diaz,” Buck warned, his smile carrying a light playfulness. “Sometimes I bring unfairly hot men to deserted beaches to make them cry.”

“Well, God help me then.” Eddie rolled his eyes, ready respond in the same way when they felt the first drops of rain. They frowned in synch. “The beach is kicking us out after our exciting conversation. Time to go, I’ve got to get Chris from my abuela.”

Eddie, as he lifted from the ground and offered Buck a hand, creased his brown when he pulled Buck up for their walk back to the car, and unfortunately witnessed something shifting in his best friend’s eyes.

“Hey, Eddie-”

Eddie narrowed his eyes when Buck threw his jack on the sand next to the pile of their shoes.

“You remember when the other day you told me you hadn’t been to the sea?”

“Buck.” Eddie retreated a few steps from his friend, calculating and reading to arm himself uselessly with one pair of his boot, “I’m warning you, get away from me, or I swear to God-!”

In a fraction of seconds, everything that Eddie could see was the boot falling on the ground before being carried over the shoulders of the almost two meters tall man. Even as the sun was still shining between the clouds, the rain started to pour, and thunder echoed on the distance, nothing what the LA sky was used to.

“Fuck! Evan, out me down!” Eddie punched on the large back, to which Buck started to laugh freely, running to the agitated sea. “I’m gonna kill you!”

That was the last thing Eddie remembered saing before darkness engulfed him underwater, so cold it felt like tiny daggers were sticking on his every pore. He swam up desperately, before finally finding the open skies above his head again. He panted, blinking and breathing hard. The rain still fell on his face as he tried to stay afloat when he noticed:

A very absent Evan Buckley.

That was so much more worrying than being thrown into a wild tide as a pseudo-storm raged on. He started panting again, not only in search of air, but because panic took hold on him.

“Buck! Buck!”

He dove again, swimming against the strength of the tide that pulled him down, because fuck it, he would go against nature if it meant finding that bastard.

Seconds later, after coming for air again, Eddie almost felt like he would sink from the weight of the arms holding his body and pulling him back to the shore. And as soon as his feet reached the wet sand, he heard the gasping and very excited voice of the only idiot on the world that could almost had drowned to death.

“Eddie, did you hear that thunder?” Buck smiled as he tried to calm his breathing, supporting himself on his knees. “Damn, they are wild today.”

“I hope Maddie won’t go missing her brother, because you’re only getting out of here dead, you mother fucker!”

It took Buck two seconds to start running away from a furious Eddie. This storm couldn’t compete with all this anger, Buck though as he stumbled, freezing to death and laughing hysterically as he made for his shoes.

Eddie had his gaze fixed on the trees passing by them, but he could count on his fingers how many times he felt Buck’s eyes slip between the street ahead, and him. He tried keeping his face straight, even as the cold air that entered through the cracks of the window made him shiver more furiously, and he wished he hadn’t forgotten his jacket back home.

They must have broken a new record, Eddie thought impressed, after ten minutes had gone by and neither had spoken a word.

“Eddie, come on. It was fun, wasn’t it?” Buck asked hopeful, like a child trying to bargain a apologize after some mischief. “It wasn’t that bad.

Buck could the a livid vein popping on the forehead of the man sitting next to him.

Sighing, he hid his worry and frustration from his face, thinking that, yes, in fact he did spoil things with Eddie. Maybe he should really start listening to Bobby when he says Buck can be a little too reckless.

“When will my silent treatment end?” Buck wanted to know, shifting his big, pleading eyes towards a seemingly very troubled Eddie, but something inside him needed to make sure. “Are you distressed?”

That was Eddie’s last straw.

“Well, Buck, I don’t know, maybe the fact that you were reckless enough to the point of throwing both of us into a high tide in the middle of a storm, and then I couldn’t find you, and also maybe, just maybe, we could have been stricken by a fucking lightning. So yes, I might be a little distressed.” Eddie conceded, almost out of breath. “So can I have this? Fuck it, I will.”

Still recoiled from his friend’s outburst, Buck dared look at Eddie and noticed his entire body shivering, his arms around himself and his henley sticking to his torso. Schooling his eyes not to see more than he should, he let a few seconds go unperturbed between them.

Buck took his eyes off the road and stretched his arm to the backseat and, in a peace offering, handed Eddie, who was scowling, his jeans jacket.

“You can have this as well. If you want.”

Well shit, Eddie knew he shouldn’t have looked up at Buck, because all resentment that was still sitting on his face quickly evaporated when he met those blue eyes. His golden locks, now wet and sticking to his blushing face, from all the running they did when Eddie had been chasing him, were shining, and made his face look younger, despite the unkempt stubble.

“Please,” Buck insisted still holding the jacket with his right hand.

Sighing, Eddie put the jacket over him in a hast. It was almost just as wet as the clothes on his body, but he did feel better as he smelt Buck’s scent on the material. He nudged Buck on the shoulder when he saw his best friend smiling by the corner of his eyes.

“Shut up.”

“I haven’t said anything, in fact, I-”

His comment died on his lips when they heard a muffled choking coming from the hood of the beetle.

“Did you hear that?” Eddie looked at Buck as he whined, understanding what was happening.

“The gas is running low.”

If there really was a bigger entity somewhere looking down at them, it would probably be laughing.

“Ok, let’s push it.” Buck said determined.

“You’re joking, right?” Eddie gasped, staring at Buck’s back as he opened the door and left to the be under the light drizzle. They had practically pulled over in the middle of the road. With no one to ask for help. “No, he really isn’t. Fuck.”

“Okay, we push it and as soon as it starts moving again, we run back inside.” Buck readied himself on the car’s rear, eyes locking with Eddie’s on the other side of the car.

“What if you push and I stay back here on the driver’s seat and turn it back on?”

Buck frowned confused, his head tilting to the side, much like the dogs from TV commercials Buck watches fascinated, with Chris and Eddie.

“But then I wouldn’t have time to jump back in and-”

When Buck realized what his friend was trying to imply, Eddie could hold the tension anymore, and burst into laugh, toppling over himself against the beetle as he saw the horror on Buck’s face.

“Rude! I can’t believe you’d let me behind-”

“You should had seen your face! Gosh, I’m saving this moment forever.” Diaz said, with a more calm chuckle on his lips as he walked back to the rear of the car, readying himself next to Buck. Bating his hair from his eyes, Eddie took a deep breath. “Okay, on three.”

Buck puffed out his cheeks, shaking his head desperately.

“One-”

“Two-”

“Now!” Buck shouted, and both pushed, using all the strength they had, which seemed to work. A few seconds on and the beetle started moving on its own, and both ran back inside. “Go, go, go!”

As soon as they were both in, Buck turned the ignition key and the engine sounded back to life, provoking a relieved sigh from them, who were still trying to catch their breaths. Buck turned on the radio distractly, eyes back on the road.

“And now, the number one of the top ten most requested songs from fans. With you, the first place, Elton John with Your Song.”

Even as Buck rolled his eyes, he couldn’t help the tiny smile from growing on his face as he heard Eddie chuckling.

“It’s my pleasure to be your entertainment source, Eddie Diaz.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” Eddie replied with a smile and he stared and admired the man sitting next to him. The man that had given him a day that was far from what he imagined he would ever live. Buck didn’t seem to notice the power that he had over Eddie, always making him feel like a teen, very different from the responsible teen he had been, but a teenager he had dreamt to be years back: foolish, funny and free.

And maybe, truly in love, even.

It's a little bit funny, this feelin' inside

I'm not one of those who can easily hide

I don't have much money, but boy, if I did

I'd buy a big house where we both could live

Stopping the car under a traffic light, Eddie spoke, almost a whisper to Buck’s ears, as they waited for the green light.

“Thank you,” Eddie waited Buck to turn his confused face towards him before continuing, “for today. I wouldn’t change this afternoon for anything.”

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no

Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show

I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do

My gift is my song and this one's for you

“Oh, which moment are you talking about? When you were chasing after me furious on the beach? Or when you were ready to leave me behind?” Buck asked playfully, laughing together with Eddie.

“Every moment. You are full of surprises, Evan. You are-” he gulped dryly, heart threatening to jump out of his throat, all his feelings for Buck suddenly punching him all at once. He needed to let Buck know how much he matters. “You are everything. I’m grateful for today and for every day since the day we met. I’m grateful for you.”

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple, but now that it's done

He couldn’t tell how Buck’s eyes became the exact representation of the saying his abuela loved to say about how the eyes were the windows of the souls, but Eddie would never get used to being the target of what he liked to think were looks of trust, genuine kindness, and love. No one ever looked at him like that: stealing all the air from his lungs, leaving him breathless.

I hope you don't mind

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Maybe it wasn’t just his gaze, but the space between them was reducing slowly, and he couldn’t tell which one of them closed the distance completely on the sudden tight space. The touch of Buck’s cold hand over his thigh, which made the moment feel more real, his blue eyes, half hidden under those long eyelashes, his breathing mixing up with his own.

“Eddie-”

“I want to give you the world, Evan.” His fingers brushed over Buck’s stubble, and he closed his eyes, noses touching.

And as things goes, fast as so many waves crashing on the sea, the moment broke when a car honked from the other side of the road, making them both jump out of theirs sits. Buck had startled so hard he almost hit his forehead against the car ceiling.

The green light shining bright, almost mockingly so.

Gulping again, Eddie snapped out of it and pulled away from Buck, the hand on his thigh disappearing. Buck cleared his throat, trying to get a hold on himself, even if his posture betrayed him. He was just as struck as Eddie.

His fingers gripped the steering wheel tight, and he pressed down on the pedal, shifting gears mechanically as they found themselves further and further away from the beach.

As she cut the onions to finish preparing the tortillas she knew both her grandson and her great-grandson loved, Isabel ventured a quick glance towards Chris, who was on the living room watching cartoons. Her attention turned back again to the radio. At the end of the day she always turned on some music, enjoying the distraction while she went on with her chores.

She heard a car parking on the street as she sauteed the onions and tomatoes. The familiar sound made her smile while she cleaned her hands on her apron, making her way towards the door with quick paces.

She couldn’t hide the surprise when she opened the door and saw both men walking her way completely wet. She covered her mouth with her hand, surprise morphing into amusement.

“Edmundo what happened to both of you?” Isabel asked, looking at the Evan’s and her grandson’s barefeet. She recognized Eddie’s used boots in his hands, completely soaked and covered with sand, but she couldn’t remember the jean jacket he wore. “A tsunami caught you on the way home?”

“Something like that, abuela.” Eddie replied, holding back rolling his eyes as Buck giggled behind him. Shaking his head with amusement, he gave her the mail he’d found sitting on her mailbox. “Is Chris doing alright? I’m sorry we’re late, we lost track of time.”

“He’s fine, watching his cartoons on the living room.” Isabel answered, and before he could ask, she continued, “Yes, he finished his homework.”

Buck, as he exchanged a quick glance with Isabel, felt the familiar pride settling back into his chest as he watched Eddie getting into his ‘dad mode’.

“Evan, come on in. You both need to get warmer and drier if you don’t want to catch a cold.” She opened the door wider, giving them space to enter. “I’m making tortillas!”

“Yes, you’re more than welcome to stay.” Eddie answered Buck’s silent question, tapping on his own stomach, with a sudden realization of how hungry he is. “Chris will love to see you.”

Isabel checked the mail in hand, and as she expected, most were bills, power, water, phone… except the last letter. Frowning as she recognized the stamp and the address to Rámon and Helena in El Paso. She put all her mail on her apron pocket, predicting it was better to wait till she told her grandson, given the circumstances of the couple’s last visit to LA.

Buck whined when he remembered the state he let his apartment. He left work and went straight to the Diaz house, but he couldn’t put it off being away from home this long, not with the new and not-so-friendly neighbour.

“I’m really sorry, but I have to go. I still haven’t gone back to my apartment today, but I appreciate the invitation.” Buck tried to hug Isabel goodbye, but she took a step back, holding her hands up as she dodged the taller man’s hug.

“Oh no, not covered in sand you won’t!” She said, moving away from his still stretched arm and ignoring the kicked puppy expression he was giving her, and the amused smile on Eddie’s face. “But I’m getting you some tortillas for your to take with you. Just a moment.”

Clearing his throat almost hesitantly, Eddie turned to Buck, who shifted his gaze to his bare feet. His mind suddenly provided him with images of what had almost happened inside the beetle, and he was overtaken with embarrassment. And judging by Buck’s blushing cheeks, he suspected he was thinking about it too.

“I’m sorry if that was too much… back in the car.” Buck apologized to Eddie, looking at him through his lashes, hoping that he hadn’t overstepped the limits too early. He knew he could be impulsive at times, and always take the first step in every situation. But, in that moment, it felt like it was just the two of them, isolated from the rest of the world, away from all obligations, charges and mostly fear.

He knew that Eddie was scared of entering another relationship after his break up with his ex-wife, but there was also a discomfort knowing how close they were, and to come in terms with having feelings for another man, was a new territory, which could be easy in Buck’s eyes, but he wasn’t naive. He knew that for Eddie, things couldn’t easily be thrown away.

And honestly, he was scared for Eddie and himself too.

In less than an hour ago, the fear seemed to become invisible on the moments prior to their ‘almost kiss’.

Eddie must have noticed something on his face, because he creased his brow as if looking for something to say. Checking quick to see if there weren’t anyone in sight, he sighed and closed the distance between them, colliding against Buck’s front into a tight hug. For a brief moment, he remembered the countless minutes they spent like that in the empty disco, and he couldn’t help but close his eyes, his heart squeezing as he reminded himself that they couldn’t do that in public.

He still had his prejudices, personal obstacles to be deconstructed, but the fear that something might happen to this man he held, that made Eddie feel safe whenever he felt his insecurities and fears beating against his chest, was unthinkable. An irrational fear as big as thinking of losing Christopher.

“It wasn’t too much, Evan.” Eddie breathed deeply on Buck’s neck. His hands, which looked small inside the jeans jacket, gripped tight the green sweater Buck was using. “Thank you again.”

“Actually, I think I’m feeling pretty lucky.” Buck whispered on Eddie’s ear, closing his eyes. He held Eddie like he wanted to hold this moment and the entire day they had. “We’ll meet Sunday? I need my two assistants to paint all the walls.

“Of course, we’ll be there.” Then Eddie, against all his better judgement, pulled back from Buck and begun stripping off the jacket, but Buck’s hand landed over his, stopping his movement.

“Stay with it. You can give it back on Sunday.” Evan had been staring at Eddie wearing his jacket ever since he first put it on, and the satisfaction still haven’t left him. “I wanted to say goodbye to Chris, but I really need to go.

Buck waved goodbye, but halted when Eddie seemed to remember something in a jolt. He grimaced while he took a carefully folded, and extremely wet piece of paper from his pocket, and curiosity quickly overtook Buck.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a letter from Chris, he asked me to give it to you, but I only remembered it now.” Eddie gave it to him, and he slowly opened it. “It’s a miracle it’s still intact and not lost somewhere in the sea.”

He felt affection squeezing his heart, which was already full of emotions the Diaz next to him peppered him with, now there was another Diaz that shared that same space. He tried telling himself that he was only emotional because he was receiving his first letter from Chris, but he knew that in reality, it was much more than that.

“Ah, no.” Eddie stopped Buck before he could unfold the paper completely. “He had been strict and clear when he prohibited me from reading. Orders are orders.”

Isabel came back with a bowl full of tortillas in hand, silently observing the moment her grandchild and Evan smiled at each other, completely at a lost about their surroundings. Not even the smell of tortillas would snap these foolish men out of it, she thought as she shook her head.

These two were too obvious, God help her old heart.

“Edmundo, enter and go change your clothes, now!”

The man almost jumped out of his skin, a step away from toppling over Buck, who widened his eyes as if remembering where they were.

“Abuela!” Eddie felt his cheeks growing warm, suddenly feeling way more younger under Isabel’s piercing gaze. “I’m not a child anymore.”

“Oh,” Isabel laughed, walking past him and giving Buck the bowl, “not in my eyes, mi chico. And you, eat them all! Don’t forget to bring my bowl back.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Buck bent over to receive a kiss from Isabel on the cheek. “I’m going now, thank you and see you soon, Diaz’s.”

He waved to Isabel and Eddie, his eyes resting a tad longer on his best friend’s hazelnut ones before getting inside the beetle. They both hurried back inside after watching the car moving away from them. Eddie didn’t waste time before finding Chris, who finally noticed his presence and greeted him with a long hug and a customary smile.

“Dad! You’re all wet!” Chris pulled a face as he touched his dad’s shirt under Buck’s jacket.

“Edmundo Diaz! Are you sitting on my couch without having changed your clothes?” Isabel’s voice sounded from somewhere in the hall, and Eddie whined while Chris giggled in amusement.

“You are in so much trouble, dad.”

Eddie stared down at him, overly serious, before surging forward and tickling him, laughing with his son.

“I love you, kid.” Eddie kissed his hair, lifting up from the couch.

“I love you too.”

Dodging the storm that was Isabel Diaz, Eddie sneaked on the tip of his toes to the kitchen for a glass of water. After drinking the last of it, he took off the jacket, readying himself to go change in the bathroom when he noticed the familiar song playing on the radio. He hugged the jacket absentmindedly as he recalled the afternoon he had with Buck. A smile formed on his lips almost involuntarily as he leaned against the counter, going over the conversation they had on the beach, Buck’s words and all the mess that leaded them to that moment under the streetlight.

That Buck’s eyes were one of the most beautiful things for Eddie. Aside from the rest of the package that was Evan Buckley, which was noted by most people, getting to know him behind all that, let Eddie feeling like a fool in love, standing in his grandmother’s humble kitchen.

So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do

You see, I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue

Anyway the thing is what I really mean

Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

Daring his luck for a brief moment alone, Eddie lifted the jacket to his face, and, as he closed his eyes, he felt his own scent penetrating the material, but he also recognized the faint perfume that screamed Buck. On that moment, all he could feel and think of was Buck. His mischievous laugh, his expressions, from the most silly and surprised to more the most serious and worried, his touch, his hug, the stubble brushing his cheeks, his smell.

Damn it, Diaz. What happened to you?

Buck had a tiny smile on his lips as he sighed and walked down the corridor after climbing the stairs to the fourth floor. He entered his apartment, throwing his soaked boots next to the door and locking it. He approached the second-hand record player he found on a friend’s thrift store near his work and placed the tonearm gently over the record, observing as if spinned around under the fleeting touch of the headshell. His room was just around the corner, but as he walked to it he almost stumbled as he recognized Elton John’s voice echoing sweetly over the small room.

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple, but now that it's done

I hope you don't mind

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Buck chuckled low as he shook his head, letting his sand covered feet guide him all the way to the other end of the corridor.

He could say that his body was present in this new house, although, his heart had stayed back in the Diaz household.

#911 #911 fox #911 fic #buddie #buddie fanfic #my writing #my 70's boys #disco #evan buckley #eddie diaz #evan buckley x edmundo diaz #eddie x buck

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tripleaxeldiaz · 5 years ago

Text

subtle as a brick in the small of my back

Eddie’s proposing to Buck. The whole team finds out first. It goes about as well as expected (not well at all)

Or: 5 times the team almost blows Eddie’s cover, and 1 time it’s already blown

read on ao3

In retrospect, Eddie really did this to himself.

But, in his defense, he had to tell Maddie — she was Buck’s sister, his only blood relative, and the only one who would honestly tell him if the ring was horribly ugly. And he had to tell Bobby — the guy was practically Buck’s step-father, and he wanted to avoid any possible lecture from his mother about not being “considerate” or “chivalrous” when it came to asking a man’s pseudo son to marry him.

He should have known, however, that it wasn’t just telling those two — he should have known it was telling Bobby, who would tell Athena, who would tell Hen, who would tell Chimney, who had already heard it from Maddie, and who was now practically skipping around the firehouse announcing it to everyone else.

Eddie watches from the kitchen as Chim flits around like a damn bumblebee spreading the good news about Buck and Eddie’s pending engagement. He’s not a holy man, but he prays to whoever is listening that Buck doesn’t find out until Eddie actually gets to ask him himself.

Whoever hears him has the worst sense of humor.

Buck and Eddie don’t like to be apart after bad calls.

This one could have been worse — four car pile up in the carpool lane with three critical injuries, all kids. They were in the ICU and expected to make full recoveries, but it’s still not easy pulling mangled bodies the same size as Christoper out of wrecked cars.

They sat close in the truck coming back to the station, thighs pressed together, shoulders overlapping. They changed together in the locker room, never far away enough that they couldn’t feel the others’ warmth. They climbed the stairs together to the lounge, Eddie’s hand around Buck’s wrist, making sure he stayed upright until they could fall onto the couch.

They’re better now, overall. They checked in with Carla and Chris (who were apparently in the process of an intricate arts and crafts project that required hot glue and a pound of glitter. Eddie can’t wait to clean that out of the house for the next 10 years). The TV in the lounge is softly playing a rerun of Chopped. Eddie is sitting in the corner of the couch, feet on the coffee table, fingers running through Buck’s short hair where his head is settled in his lap. His other hand rests on Buck’s chest, right over his heart, and he listens to Buck’s critical commentary of each chef’s use of ingredients. They know the bell will probably ring in the next 15 minutes and they’ll be right back in the truck, but for now they sink into this brief moment of peace.

Eddie’s so focused on the show and Buck’s apparently extensive knowledge of ways to prepare salmon that he doesn’t even notice Bobby coming over until the couch dips as he sits down.

“You boys doing okay?” he asks, a soft smile on his lips. Buck adjusts to see him better, sitting up to lean on Eddie’s chest, Eddie’s arm slung over his shoulder.

“Yeah, we’re good. Chris has a surprise craft for us when we get home, though I think the mess he makes will be more surprising than anything else.”

Eddie huffs out a laugh, craning his neck to kiss the crown of Buck’s head. When he looks back at Bobby, the look the captain has on his face seems...sentimental. A little too sentimental, if Eddie’s being honest.

Buck must notice it too. He cocks his head and asks, “Are you okay Cap? You’re lookin’ a little misty over there.”

Bobby smiles and shakes his head, eyes shining. “I’m good, kid. Just...really excited for you guys.”

Eddie narrows his eyes. That’s a weird thing to say.

“Excited?” Buck asks, cocking his head even more. “What, that we didn’t get crushed on the highway?”

Bobby laughs. “Well yeah, of course. But also, you know, just excited that you guys have each other to lean on in the bad times like this. And you’ll have each other for a really long time. Forever, hopefully.”

Now Eddie’s eyes are wide in panic. Seriously? You’ll have each other for a really long time? He gives Bobby a look over Buck’s head that hopefully reads as If you don’t stop talking right now I’ll spray you with the hose and I won’t even feel bad about it.

Buck — beautiful, slightly oblivious Buck — just turns to look at Eddie, a smile lighting up his face (a relief to see after the past few hours). “Yeah, I’m pretty excited about that too.”

Eddie melts a little, returning Buck’s smile. Before he can fully respond, the bell rings, and Buck jumps to his feet. He stretches, shaking off any lingering cobwebs of their last call before heading into another one. He kisses Eddie’s cheek as he passes to head to the stairs.

He watches him bound down to the truck, still smiling, before turning to Bobby with narrowed eyes again.

“I’m pretty sure my 11 year old is better at being subtle than you are.”

Bobby claps his shoulder as he follows Buck to the stairs. “Don’t worry, I don’t think he noticed anything. Consider that a precursor to my speech at the wedding.”

Eddie sighs, hopes he’s right, and follows the team to the truck.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie stares at Maddie’s kitchen island in the same awestruck confusion he usually has on Buffridays. This week’s spread consists of lasagna, garlic knots, summer rolls, banh mi, tacos, and what he’s pretty sure is fried cheesecake. He feels Buck come up next to him, hip checking him as he gets one of everything on his plate before returning to the couch to pick their movie for the night. Eddie follows suit, skipping the cheesecake but promising he’ll come back later, before dropping down next to his boyfriend, who immediately turns and gives him a quick peck on the temple.

Eddie does not blush and smile like an idiot, despite this being a regular thing that has occurred for the entire two year duration of their relationship. He doesn’t. He’s totally used to how much and how openly Buck loves him. It’s fine.

Maddie walks over while they bicker about what movie to watch and sits on Buck’s other side. She clears her throat, halting their argument between Booksmart and Heathers, and pulls something out of her pocket.

Buck turns toward her and freezes. Eddie looks over as well and sees her holding a scrap of dark blue fabric. It’s inky and rich and speckled with white dots, almost like…

“The Milky Way Dress? Maddie, I can’t believe you still have this, why—”

“I finally got around to cleaning out the last of my boxes, pretty much a bunch of old stuff I was not ready to deal with when I left.” She smiles, wistful and a little sad. “I found this and just thought it was time to pass it on to you.”

Buck’s in shock, Eddie can tell. His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open like it did the first time Christopher referred to the two of them as “his dads”, or like it did when Eddie told him that he wanted to spend the rest of their lives together (and no that was not a proposal, Eddie was hopped up on drugs after falling off a second story roof at a call. He barely remembers it, save for the look on Buck’s face. Doesn’t count.).

Buck takes the fabric reverently, turning it in his hands and running it through his fingers. He turns to Eddie, a soft smile on his face, and Eddie places his hand on his thigh reassuringly. He can tell there’s a story, and he’s happy to wait until Buck’s ready to share.

“This is— wow. So my grandma was one of the main people who raised me, along with Maddie. And she was crazy in the best way, very Miss Frizzle. She used to make all her own clothes with crazy fabric, and she always made me a matching shirt or belt or something. She got this Milky Way fabric once, and I was just obsessed with it, I wouldn’t shut up about it. So she went all out — she made me a shirt, a belt, a tie, a damn suit out of the stuff. I wore them as much as humanly possible for the next few years before my parents ‘accidentally’ donated them away.”

“You wore that suit for picture day until you were 13,” Maddie reminds him.

“Yeah, exactly.” Buck laughs wetly, wiping at his eyes. “But Grandma loved it as much as I did and always wore the matching dress when I came to visit. When she died when I was 16, she made it very clear in her will that she wanted to be buried in that dress. And Maddie, genius that she is, cut some scraps off the dress so we could always have a part of her. I lost mine in one of my billion moves, but now…”

“I kept part of this scrap too, but I wanted to give most of it to you,” Maddie says. “I know how close you two were. I used it as my ‘something old’ and ‘something blue’ at my wedding, so I figured you could use it too for...I don’t know, something. Down the line.”

She catches Eddie’s eye in a silent apology. He’s glad she caught herself because he’s still a little too wrapped up in watching Buck relive all these obviously happy memories to register much of anything else going on.

He watches Buck for a little longer as he folds the fabric back up, placing it in his back pocket. He turns and wraps his sister in a patented Buckley Bear Hug, laughing as he kisses the top of her head.

“Thank you, Mads. Seriously, this is...perfect. It’s just perfect.”

“Of course, I’m just glad I found it for you. And seriously, don’t lose it. I have a feeling you’re going to need it soon.” She pats his cheek fondly, sending a not so sly wink to Eddie.

Eddie somehow manages to keep his groan in his head as Buck settles between them again, picking up the remote.

“Alright gang, I really think the only way we’ll be able to balance out all this sappy stuff is with the glorious violence of Heathers…”

~~~~~~~~~~

Laughter erupts as soon as Eddie gets to the front door of the Grant-Nash house, so he waits a minute before knocking. The door swings open, and he’s greeted by the sounds of soft jazz, the smells of home cooking, and the vision of his boyfriend looking happy, relaxed, and definitely buzzed.

“Ah, my knight in shining armor, come to fetch me away!” Buck smiles his lopsided smile as he lets Eddie in and kisses him soundly. He tastes like Merlot and chocolate and just Buck. Eddie’s pretty sure he can get drunk off that taste alone.

“More like your chauffeur in a shining Silverado, but being a knight sounds much more fun.” Buck falls into a fit of giggles, his head collapsing onto Eddie’s shoulder, and Eddie can’t help but laugh along with him. Few things fill him with as much joy as seeing Buck so unabashedly happy, and he’ll relish in it for as long as he can, whenever he can.

Buck grabs his hand and pulls him towards the kitchen. “Come sit, Athena said she has some wedding stuff for me before we go.”

Eddie’s stomach drops past his feet, possibly all the way to the center of the earth.

His internal monologue goes off the rails — dammit he should have asked by now, none of the big romantic plans he’s come up with seem good enough so he just keeps waiting, but maybe since it’s all ruined he’ll just do it tomorrow morning when they’re eating breakfast or tomorrow night after they put Chris to bed, and Jesus Christ he should never tell any of their friends anything ever again—

Pull it together, Diaz. Be chill. Maybe it’s nothing. Of all people, Athena would never break a secret so easily. She’s a cop for crying out loud.

“Wedding stuff?” he asks in a voice way too squeaky to ever be considered “chill”.

Thankfully, alcohol is an exceptional buffer to Buck noticing Eddie in a full on crisis. He turns to him with bright eyes and says, “Yeah, for Maddie! She told Athena she’s been dropping hints to Chim for a while now and thinks he’ll pop the question soon. She wants to get a jump start on things so they can have the wedding by the end of the year.”

Well now he’s pissed for an entirely different reason.

Before he can hit send on a text to Chim — what the hell dude are you trying to steal my thunder??? — Athena comes back to the table with three boxes full of binders, pamphlets, and fabric samples. Eddie stands to help, and she gives him a look he can’t quite read before flashing a smile at Buck.

“This should be everything Bobby had. There’s lists of venues with how many people they hold and how much they charge for food. There’s samples for place settings, centerpieces, and decorations. And there’s lists of bakeries for the cake, plus what allergies they can cater to and price estimates. I hope to God there are no other boxes but if there are, I’ll let you know.”

“Wow,” Buck marvels as he flips through a book of flower arrangements. “Bobby really doesn’t half-ass anything, does he?”

Athena chuckles as she finishes the last of her wine. “No he does not. Sometimes it’s a gift, sometimes it’s a curse that clutters up my closet for three years.”

“Well thanks very much Athena, I know Maddie will be thrilled to not plan a second wedding completely from scratch.” He hugs her tight and kisses her cheek before grabbing a box and heading to the door. “I’ll keep these safe for her until Chim gets his ass in gear. Babe, can you get the other two?”

Eddie’s already in the process of grabbing them before Buck finishes his question. He smiles soft and bright when he sees, kissing Eddie’s temple. “You really are my knight in shining armor.”

Eddie’s sure he’s got hearts in his eyes as he watches Buck leave and load up the truck. He’s only able to turn away when he feels Athena come up next to him.

“Speaking of getting asses in gear…”

“I know,” Eddie sighs. “I’m working on it. I just...it needs to be perfect. That’s what he deserves.”

“Honey, it’ll be perfect because it’s you asking. That’s all he cares about. Don’t think too hard about it.”

“Well looks like I have to do it sooner rather than later anyway. I cannot believe Chim’s gonna—”

“Oh, he’s not.”

Eddie squints. “He’s not?”

“No, those are for you guys, not Maddie. I really needed them out of the house and didn’t know how long I’d be waiting.” She levels Eddie with a look again, and he somehow feels like he’s 16 and his mom wasn’t “mad” at him for doing something dumb, just “disappointed”. “I already gave Maddie a heads up so she’ll play along. Just try to ask him before we all start going grey, okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” She smiles and pats his cheek before leading him out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve seen these in person since I was in high school,” Buck says as Hen sits down across from him at the kitchen table, dropping a bunch of small, thick packages Eddie can’t quite see from his post at the coffee machine.

He blearily grabs the two cups of coffee he made, making his way over to the table. He places one mug in front of Buck, earning him a relieved smile and wink as he sits down, looking over to see what Hen brought in. The table is covered in developed pictures from old disposable cameras, dozens of glossy frames of people in suits and cocktail dresses laughing, a beautiful dessert table, something that looks suspiciously like a conga line.

“Are these from an old LAFD gala or something?” Eddie asks as Buck snorts out a laugh. He holds a picture up so Eddie can see Chimney with a tie around his head, perched on someone’s shoulders, yelling at something out of frame. “Oh that’s definitely getting blown up to poster size.”

“Actually,” Hen says, “these are from mine and Karen’s wedding.”

Eddie freezes mid sip of coffee, eyes snapping to Hen, who just stares back at him with feigned innocence and barely concealed glee. Hen’s smart, smarter than all of them put together, and while he knows she won’t tell Buck anything outright, he also knows she is thoroughly enjoying this opportunity to make Eddie squirm.

“Whoa,” Buck says. “There’s got to be at least a thousand pictures here. How’d you get so many in one night?”

“We had a few cameras on every table and told the guests to go nuts. We have some professional shots of the reception, but we wanted to see it how everyone else saw it too. And we decided to wait until our 10 year anniversary to get them developed so we could have a little walk down memory lane.”

“Huh, that’s a pretty good idea,” Buck murmurs thoughtfully, still absorbed in all the pictures in front of him. Eddie agrees, the cameras are a great idea, and he tucks that into the filing cabinets of his brain to use when they have their wedding.

If they ever have their wedding.

Eddie’s working on it. Really. He’s got the skeleton of a plan that will be beautiful and romantic and not too big, but big enough that Buck will know without a doubt how much Eddie loves him. So it’ll be soon, okay? Very soon. As long as someone doesn’t ruin everything before his plan can actually get set into motion.

He sees Hen’s smile get bigger, like she can see Eddie’s brain starting to overheat a little.

She leans over the table, pointing to one of the pictures. “I also recommend doing a dessert table instead of a big ugly cake. You can do a bunch of good stuff too like cupcakes, pie, we just went to a wedding with a candy bar…”

“A candy bar!?” Buck looks at Eddie like a kid on Christmas, and Eddie files that idea away too (while also noting that he’ll have to remind Buck that they probably can’t only have gummy worms at a candy bar).

“And you guys should definitely have a live band, they’re much better at getting people to dance than a DJ.”

Eddie clocks the “you guys” and starts sweating a little more. Hen notices too, eyes widening at Eddie like she knows she went a little too far.

Buck, by some miracle, still seems caught up in the fantasy of a 12-foot table covered in gummy worms.

He looks at Hen, eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t think a DJ is better? I feel like they have way better music usually. Live bands have, like, the same seven songs, and one of them is always ‘Footloose’.”

They continue to debate the pros and cons as Eddie stands to put his mug in the sink, squeezing Buck’s shoulder as he passes. Buck grabs his hand, kissing the inside of his wrist before letting him go, all without breaking conversation on whether “Shout!” or “The Macarena” is a more annoying song. Eddie’s stomach flutters like it always does with Buck’s absentminded displays of affection, but the butterflies also seem to be saying It’s time to get your shit together and ask this man for his hand in marriage, idiot.

Eddie closes his eyes, resting his head on the cabinet above the sink.

The butterflies are right. A little rude, but still right.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie knew Chimney was going to be the hardest loose end to round up.

He had stood at the top of the stairs, arms crossed, as Chim came up after telling the station (and probably the entire city of Los Angeles) that Eddie and Buck were getting engaged. “Chim, man, look—”

“No worries, Eddie,” Chim said, holding a hand up to cut Eddie off. “Cross my heart, I will not say a word to Buck. I’m sure you have something big and sappy in the works, and I will not be the person to screw that up.”

Eddie deflated a bit, still eyeing Chim warily. Chim just smiled back, clapping a hand on his shoulder and squeezing reassuringly. “Look, I’m so, so happy for you guys. You’ve both been through the ringer and still managed to find each other and create a beautiful life for yourselves. You guys really deserve it, and I—” He cleared his throat as his eyes filled with tears. He opened his mouth like he wanted to keep going, but he pulled Eddie into a tight hug instead.

“Thanks Chim, that’s...that’s really sweet.” Eddie felt his voice crack around the lump in his throat as he patted his friend on the back. They pulled away, laughing quietly and wiping their eyes.

“Plus,” Chimney said, punching Eddie softly on the shoulder, “we’re basically in-laws now, so there’s definitely a bro code. Add that to the firefighter bro code, and I’m double coded, man.”

“So you’ll...double keep the secret?”

“Exactly.” Chim patted his back as he walked toward the kitchen. Eddie watched him go, still trying to put together the double code thing that was definitely not actually a thing.

In his own weird way, Chim had seemed sincere in keeping his mouth shut. Eddie really thought that had been that.

That had most certainly not been that.

Because since Chim couldn’t let out his excitement with words, he had to let it out in other ways.

Namely, tears. An ungodly amount of tears.

The whole team is in the lounge, flipping channels until they land on Say Yes to the Dress. Chim blinks at the TV, then whips his head to where Buck and Eddie are squished together on the couch. Eddie catches his gaze, watching his eyes begin to water before he’s up and running down the stairs. Hen barks out a laugh and tries to hide it in a cough. Bobby shakes his head and looks toward the sky, either asking God for strength or to smite him where he sits.

They’re at the kitchen table early in the morning, heads bent together as Buck shows Eddie a TikTok on his phone (Eddie doesn’t get the deal with these things, but they make Buck laugh so hard he snorts so he’ll allow it). They’re startled by a strangled sob from across the room and look up to see Chim rushing past them to the coffee machine rubbing his eyes, his shoulders still shaking as he adds milk to his mug. Buck shoots Eddie a confused look, and Eddie just shrugs helplessly before shooting a death glare to the back of Chim’s head.

Buck and Chim are chatting in the locker room when Eddie arrives for shift, dropping his bag next to Buck and giving him a quick peck hello on the cheek. Buck smiles at him, reaching up to push back a lock of hair that had fallen on Eddie’s forehead in his hustle to be on time (he’s growing his hair out again because he likes it that way, okay, not because Buck told him he looked like a sexy Superman when it was longer). They turn back to Chim in time to see tears begin to fall in earnest, which he quickly blames on allergies before scooting past them and out of the room.

“Is Chim like...good?” Buck asks, watching Chim walk away blowing his nose in his shirt. All Eddie had done was smile (probably a little dreamily) at some dumb joke Buck made, but that was enough apparently.

“He’s fine,” Eddie replies quickly. “He’s just...you know. Going through it. I guess.”

Bobby snorts from behind the stove as he flips a grilled cheese.

Buck sighs. “Should we remind him about therapy at least? I’m just worried he’s gonna be perpetually dehydrated or something.”

“I don’t know if therapy is what he needs,” Bobby says, looking pointedly at Eddie. Eddie throws a napkin at him.

Buck turns to Bobby confused but is quickly distracted by the hot sandwich placed in front of him. They launch into a debate on the best combination of cheese for a grilled cheese, Chim’s hydration levels seemingly forgotten.

Luckily for everyone, they’re almost in the clear. Reservations have been made, Chris’s sleeping arrangements have been confirmed, and Eddie’s even picked out an outfit. Everything is finally ready.

Eddie’s excited, more excited than he can remember being in a very long time, possibly since Christopher was born.

He also feels like he’s gonna hurl.

Hopefully that’s a good sign.

~~~~~~~~~~

He settled on recreating their first official date. It’s just cheesy enough that Buck will get a kick out of telling the story over and over and simple enough that Eddie can handle everything without involving one single other person.

It’s really nothing crazy: dinner at their favorite Italian restaurant and watching the sunset on the beach, brown bagging a bottle of wine like they’re in college. Eddie even knows what he’s going to say already, going over it again and again in his head so he can get everything out perfectly.

That first date, Eddie had accidentally told Buck he loved him. He hadn’t planned on it at all, but the words had been bubbling under his skin for so long at that point it was a relief to get them out in the open. He was immediately terrified he had said them too fast, too soon, but Buck simply pushed him back into the sand and kissed him soft and sincere, more teeth than anything once they both gave up on holding back their smiles.

He doesn’t want to be so caught off guard by his own brain this time. Not for something this important.

But that all has to wait until tomorrow.

Tonight, Chris is with Abuela (who slyly offered to keep him all weekend so Eddie and Buck could “celebrate properly”, which Eddie was both thankful for and mortified by, hearing from his grandma), they had ordered Chinese, and are now watching a movie that (blessedly) has no cartoon characters randomly bursting into song.

It’s normal, domestic, something they do at least once a week.

And yet Eddie feels like his skin is on fire, his heart beating so fast he’s sure it’ll break through his ribs at any moment.

He’s looking at Buck, feels his chest on his back, his strong arm around his shoulders, drawing absent-minded shapes across his chest as his attention is focused on Bill and Ted meeting Rufus in the phone booth for the first time. The light of the TV highlights Buck’s jaw and cheekbones, casts an ethereal glow on his unkempt curls. He laughs at something, a rumble deep in his chest, head tipping back slightly exposing the long line of his neck.

He’s beautiful. Stunning, inside and out. The most amazing thing that has ever deemed Eddie worthy of attention and love, aside from his son.

And if he doesn’t ask him to be his forever right now, this minute, he’s absolutely going to explode.

He’s off the couch and striding toward the bedroom before his brain even tries to stop him. He hears Buck faintly call, “Baby? Are you okay?” but is too busy rifling through his sock drawer to answer. He holds the blue velvet box firmly in his hand and takes a deep breath.

He had been waiting and planning and trying his damnedest to keep this all under wraps so by the time he asked, everything would be perfectly romantic and swoon-worthy, a story they could tell their kids and grandkids and great-grandkids to inspire them to find a love like theirs. A moment so perfect that there would be no doubts about how desperately Eddie needs Buck in his life until he’s buried in the ground, and probably even after that. Buck deserves to know that Eddie would go to the ends of the earth to make him happy, have it spelled out in the stars just how deeply he makes Eddie feel loved and safe, and that he’d do anything to make sure Buck feels that in return, always.

But, really, they’ve never been perfect. They’re messy sometimes, and gritty. Too loud or too soft or too much or not enough. They push and pull at each other in good and bad ways, sometimes too far, but sometimes just enough that they come out even better together and apart than they were before.

They’ve never been conventional. So why bother starting now?

When he comes back to the living room, Buck is standing, movie paused, worrying at his hands as he watches Eddie walk in. He freezes as Eddie comes up to him before sinking to one knee, eyes widening as the box opens, revealing a simple, black, titanium band.

And then he’s laughing. Full body, shoulders shaking, like Eddie getting ready to bare his heart and soul to him is the funniest damn thing in the world.

Before he can dive too deeply into his wounded pride, Buck’s kneeling too, placing his hands on either cheek, eyes bright with a little mischief and a lot of love as he says, “It’s about damn time, Diaz.”

Eddie blinks, feels his shoulders slump a little. He wishes he was surprised, but he’s really not.

“Who told you?”

“Oh, no one told me, like, specifically. But Maddie finding our grandma’s dress? And Athena conveniently having all of their old wedding planning stuff? Plus, Chim hasn’t been able to look at me without crying for weeks. I don’t know if you know this, but our friends are really bad at being low key.”

Oh, Eddie knows. He had just been hoping (in vain, it seems) that Buck didn’t.

He breathes out a laugh and shakes his head, leaning into Buck’s hands still framing his face. “Well, can I at least do my speech? I have it memorized and everything. It was supposed to be for tomorrow, but…” He gestures vaguely, encompassing the whole, beautiful mess this has turned into.

“Of course you can,” Buck says, his smile growing by the second. “But hurry up, because I can’t wait to marry the shit out of you.”

And who is Eddie to argue with that?

He takes one of Buck’s hands, squeezing tight. He already knows the answer, but that doesn’t make him any less nervous.

“Evan Buckley, you are the most amazing man I have ever met in my life, and probably the most annoying.” Buck laughs again at that, and Eddie feels all of his insides swoop, his heart filling with so much adoration it’s probably about to crack. “You are unendingly selfless, unbelievably headstrong, kind and gentle, but would kill a man for the people you love without thinking twice. You have shown me more about what it means to love and be loved than I ever thought I could know. You are also responsible for about 75% of my grey hairs.” They’re both crying now, not even bothering to wipe the tears away, wearing them like badges of honor for each other. “You make me a better firefighter, a better friend, a better father, and a better man. I want to spend the rest of my life making sure you know how much I love you, every minute of every hour of every day.” He takes the ring out of the box, holding it up between them. “I want to have your back forever. Will you marry me?”

He barely has the question out before Buck is tackling him to the floor, kissing him so deeply he feels it in his atoms. He gets the ring on at some point, lips never leaving Buck’s, and they get lost in each other, in happiness, in love, in excitement at getting to spend their lives together, as a family.

Nothing leading up to this was perfect. But he wouldn’t trade any of it — their chaotic lives, their ups and downs, their crazy, unsubtle family — for anything in the world.

But next time he’s planning a surprise, he will absolutely be keeping it to himself.

#buddie #9-1-1 #911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie fic #it's been TWO YEARS since i wrote anything and these two finally broke me #that and the quarantine probably #ficcery #soft eddie rights

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