#the learning how to love via the medium of a small child who needs you of it all

[hyperfocusthusly]

Am I using this fine afternoon to vividly imagine a post break up scenario where Tommy by a relative’s tragic death circumstance finds himself as the sole guardian of a 6 month old baby.

Staring at the conversation thread he had been so close to going back into. But then his eyes flickered up to the little sleepy body in front of him and he knows he can’t do it. How could he ever ask Evan to come back to this? How could he ask him to go slower now?

Resigning himself to doing it like he always does. Alone.

[You can now read the first part of this here or on A03]

[sonicringbond]

Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey - Scene 52

Hopefully as everyone is reading this things have improved for me. My mental state has been a bit of mess at the time of writing this. I’ve had fears for the future of the AU and my ability to write it at all. While I have big plans and changes in store, it’s surprisingly difficult to stay enthusiastic. Strangely, only my primary villain seems to keep me motivated. But they won’t appear here, too an extent I suppose, but there is another villain who returns in this scene. I’ll let you see who now in...

    “Oh~! I see more flowers,” Blister began as she stepped through the Ring Gate and watched Zooey embrace Tails. She grew distracted a moment however as she took in the sight of the Ring Gate Beacon room. The ceiling of shifting blocks covered in glowing geometric patterns was almost mesmerizing. “Wow~. I have to get one of these on my ship.”

    “Maybe later,” Tails stated as he put his hands on Zooey’s shoulders and pushed her back, although as gently as he could. “Right now, we have to support Sonic. Zooey, can we map out the catacombs from the bridge.”

    “The Engineers and I already have a map in place,” Zooey confided in Tails, though still peeked around him curiously at Draw and Blister. Tails’ urgency pulled her back however as she felt his grip tighten on her shoulders. “We can use the same sonar method we used to map the city to keep track of Sonic and give him a heads up if anything goes sideways.”

    “That’s great,” Tails sighed relieved and started to hurry for the bridge, stopping only long enough to look back and ask Zooey another question. “Is it sensitive enough to pick out people?”

    “I don’t believe it is, but the catacombs should be large enough for the Tornado to fly through.”

~|~

    “Ho! An aeroplane of all things to best Claymore the Purple,” Claymore scoffed as he strode through brick halls that were open on one side to a cavernous hall beyond. “How the mage caused so much trouble with so small a force. No less he bought the time to take to the skies again. Ho! It is like that I would do well to remember the name Sonic the Hedgehog, unless I should stop him and my other guest all at once.”

    Weighing the thought of confronting two Ring Mage’s, Claymore chuckled nervously to himself. “Ho! My first real battle since waking and I must face two Ring Mages. Would that I could be joined in battle by my fellow knights.”

~|~

    “I don’t like it,” Rosy puffed up her cheeks, her problems multifold.

    “Well, you’ll just have to bear with it,” Sonic encouraged Rosy to not let the situation get to her. As he was sitting on top of her pressing her deeper into the cockpit of the Tornado, his words seemed uncaring. Though they were no meant to bet, he had his own problems controlling the biplane as he had one hand occupied holding onto Rosy’s tarot card case. “Just consider it for your own protection.”

    “I don’t need protected,” Rosy puffed her cheeks up even more. “Besides, if what Tails said is true, we won’t have time for me to be kept safe. We have to go stop Ix.”

    “You know who you’re talking to, right kid?” Sonic feigned being hurt. But Rosy was not feeling playful.

    Beyond the cockpit, even squished uncomfortably behind Sonic as she was, Rosy could see Yoluku in the sky, the upside-down sunset becoming a tighter and more sinister smile with each passing moment. A chill ran through Rosy looking at it, and she could swear even without her cards that she heard those same whispers.

    It’s fine. This is fun isn’t it? Enjoying a desperate adventure to save the world with your true love. How entertaining!

    “Hrm~!” Rosy emitted a low growl and puffed up her cheeks more. Not liking the voice in her head, she contorted herself as best she could behind Sonic and managed to get access to her wrist device.

    “Tai~ls!” Rosy whined into it. “Please tell me you have somewhere for us to go!”

    -I do!- Tails’ voice came back across the radio.

    ~I want to feel relieved while Tails guides Sonic through how he needs to fly the Tornado into the catacombs. It’s actually a lot of fun too, the way Sonic pilots his plane around the towers of the city and down into a chasm I didn’t know was in the city. Ooh~! It’s so exciting, but the situation isn’t good. Yolk is… I don’t know what Yolk is any more, but I have a really bad feeling.

     ~It’s not like me to have bad feelings, especially when Sonic is here. I know he’ll save the day, but something isn’t right. I just have a hard time believing Ix was seen so easily. He had me and everyone else fooled when I first met him, so to think he would be seen going into these oversized catacombs. It just doesn’t feel right. I wonder if this is supposed to be a trap. But for who? Did he even know I was going to be here? Ooh~! I don’t like this!~

    “We’re going on foot from here,” Sonic stated as he landed the Tornado on a small ledge, bringing the short flight to an end. As he left the plane, he worked he wrist device under his ow glove cuff. “I’ll relay back to you what I see Tails, but you’re going to have to be on your game to get us to where you think our uninvited party crasher is going.”

    -No problem, Sonic!- Tails’ voice chirped confidently across the wrist device’s radio. -Just watch out for traps.-

    “No worries there,” Sonic laughed. “In case you haven’t forgotten, I have a world class rascal here to take care of them for me.”

    “Soni~c!”

    ~Sonic’s ability to stay cheerful, even in the face of danger is always so inspiring and always helps me forget that people call me strange for doing the same. I can’t help but smile running with him through these ancient stone tunnels. Though it would be nice if there were less traps. But, well, a lot of traps that needed to be tripped were already tripped as Sonic and I ran past them. It’s hard to say running so fast, but they look more like they were disarmed rather than tripped. I shouldn’t be surprised, but… I kind of feel like it looks too familiar how they’ve been disarmed.~

~|~

    “Alright, how much further do you want to drag me into this place! It’s been nothing but trap after trap and no rewards worth the risk!"

    “Silence, treasure hunter! I must endure this humility and so will you.”

    “Yikes! Don’t lose your feathers old man!”

    “An old man who will outlive you, treasure hunter!”

    “Alright, alright! Just put my gun down. I’ll stop asking questions.”

    “Perhaps it would be best if you both focused.”

    “Yeah, well if I could I’d leave you both under a pile of rubble if I thought it’d do anything you talkative pile of rocks.”

    “Keep talking, treasure hunter. It fascinates me how your mouth is able to dig a grave.”

    “Yikes!”

    Watching the antics of Doctor Fukurokov, former leader of the now all but defunct Battle Kukku Armada, and Fang the Sniper, the troublesome treasure hunter who introduced Rosy to the world of adventure for his own gains, Ix would have sighed if his stone form possessed lungs. The two were anything but dignified. Though at least Fang put on no airs of false dignity like Doctor Fukurokov.

    Still, Ix’s plans required both, lest he had been rid of them ages ago having learned all he needed from them via a forced Ring Bond.

    “There will be time for you to torment the Child of Chaos yet, Child of the Heavens,” Ix at last interceded by walking between the owl and jerboa-wolf hybrid. His actions were meant to do more than break line of sight between them however, as he continued forward causing Fang to panic.

    “Watch where you’re walking you blasted statue! You’re going to get us all killed!”

    Fang’s excited shouting carried through the catacombs, straight into the twitching ear of a certain pink hedgehog girl. “Fang!”

    “Him again, huh?” Sonic sighed in response to Rosy’s exclamation.

    “Ooh~! Don’t be like that Sonic!” Rosy chided Sonic before suddenly picking her own route deeper into the catacombs.

    “Hey! Amy! That’s not the way Tails is–”

    “It sounds like Fang is with Ix!” Rosy interrupted Sonic and dashed off, following the sounds of the voices and her intuition.

    “This isn’t a great time Amy! AMY!”

    Left with little choice, Sonic took off after Rosy. It was going to be far from a difficult task to catch her either. For as much as she did her best to run at Sonic’s speed, her stumbling and general clumsiness was not the practiced and instinctual scrambling that Sonic performed that allowed him to run freely nigh anywhere. As large as the catacombs were, however, Fang did not possess Sonic’s speed. As he was the one searching for traps, he was the one controlling the pace at which Ix’s party progressed.

    “Yeesh, the weasel, the surprisingly resilient birdbrain, and the statue who really would have been better served staying in bed,” Sonic remarked as he skidded to a halt and saw the odd group. Or at least odd to Rosy who did not see the panic on Fang’s face as anything but a desperate plea for help. Naturally, Sonic saw it differently. “So how are you going to lie your way out of this one, weasel?”

    “Ho! Funny, Ring Mage,” the voice of Claymore boomed from beyond Ix. “I was aiming to ask you and the medium the same.”

    “And now, all of the players are present,” Ix remarked, his blue glowing eyes taking in the autogolem knight, the treasure hunter and pirate, and the two hedgehog’s who he silently deemed the most troublesome of all his obstacles.

Scene 52 · CLEARED Party Crashing, to be continued

-----

And there we go. Two scenes left to finish up Season 1. There’s a lot of ground to cover, and hopefully I’ll be able to have Sonic meet my main villain. It’s just there is so much to cover, and it’ll likely inflate the scenes. The smart thing to do would be to stretch it out, but I really want to end the season inline with the anime season. So, if everything went well after I wrote this, in one week Season 1 will be finished and Season 2 will be quite different in it’s handling. Please look forward to it!

-----

Special Thanks to Cutegirlmayra Story by @JoshTarwater/SonicFanJ Inspiring Song – Insatiable (From “Final Fantasy XIV”) - Vocaloid Version – Azina, Masayoshi Soken – Insatiable (From “Final Fantasy XIV”)

[dreamlover31]

Love Will Find a Way: Chapter 32

While stretched out on the examination table, Alexa twirled the small sterling silver band that was wrapped around her finger, tiny diamonds surrounded its outer core with three medium sized ones as its centerpiece.

She smiled softly as they sparkled via the lighting in the room, meanwhile, the events of the other day, when Rafael proposed marriage, still resonated within; slowly, her train of thought deepened. Alexa envisioned a small gathering with only close friends, especially Olivia, who had become like a sister to her ever since the day they met, and of course Rafael’s mother Lucia, who overtime became more of a mother to Alexa than her own.

The wardrobe for the affair would be traditional on the part of the groom, however, the form of Alexa’s dress would consist of something simple but elegant with a touch of class, as she continued to lay out the details of the upcoming wedding; the faint sound of a door being opened broke her concentration. The focus quickly shifted to the young woman clad in a lab coat holding up a clipboard.

“Hello, so how are we doing today?”

“Well I’m about to push a human bowling ball through my pelvis and I can’t see my feet anymore, so all in all I’m doing alright”

The doctor chuckled as she walked towards the table, “Well I’ve got your test results and overall you and the baby are doing exceptionally well, blood pressure is a little high but it’s nothing serious”

“Well that’s good”

She took a moment to look around the room and found that Alexa was shy of one person, “Will your husband be joining us today?”

Alexa’s face softened, “He’s not my husband…yet, but he said he’d try to make it…he’s in the middle of a very important case…”

Suddenly, the door creaked open at that very moment, Alexa and the doctor looked forward to the person that appeared through the doorway, her face lit up when it was revealed to be Rafael.

“I’m sorry I’m late, I tried to be here as fast as I could,” he joined Alexa at the opposite end of the table where he placed a small peck on her forehead, she reached for his hand, to which he was more than happy to interlock with.

“It’s ok, the doctor was going over my test results. She says the baby’s doing fine but that my blood pressure was a little high”

“Is that something we need to worry about?”

The doctor chimed in, “No, it’s pretty common among pregnancies, she just needs to maintain a healthy diet and avoid any kind of stress” Rafael nodded as he held Alexa’s hand, the young woman stepped towards the sonogram machine where she informed them that she was going to check the development of the baby.

During its initial setup, the ultrasound gel was dispensed onto Alexa’s stomach, once the machine was up and ready, the ultrasound wand was pressed on top of her rounded figure. As the wand spread out the conductive gel, Alexa and Rafael watched the monitor, within a few minutes, an image formed…one of their fully developed, yet to be born daughter.

The grip on Alexa’s hand tightened as they continued to gaze upon their beautiful child, after the doctor made a few notations on the clipboard, she concluded that per her analysis that little Nadia was due any day now. Before, she exited the room, the young woman handed Alexa a paper towel to wipe the gel from her belly then passed pictures of their daughter. When they were alone, she straightened her blouse and let out a small breath, just then; Rafael’s warm hand began rubbing against her back…with that, their eyes linked.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe that any day now…we’ll be bringing a new life into this world”

“I know,” he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss upon her lips.

They checked out at the reception desk, Alexa was scheduled to be induced a few days after her due date, the couple walked out the front door and headed towards the parking lot. Halfway towards the SUV a man’s voice called out:

“Mr. Barba”

Alexa and Rafael turned around to find an older gentleman, from the look of things, appeared to be the same age as Rafael if not older; he wore a navy-blue suit with a trench coat draped over it. He stepped towards them, but while his face expressed friendliness, something about him sent shivers up Alexa’s spine. She looked upon Rafael, whose joyous expression faltered into one that masked the feeling of dread and aggravation that ran deep beneath his veins, it was then her attention shifted back to the mysterious stranger in their midst.

“Excuse me, but do we know you?”

“Barba…aren’t you going to introduce me to your fiancé?”

Rafael turned towards Alexa and calmly explained: “Alexa, this is Robert Davalos…my boss”

Davalos extended his hand only to be met with a sense of distrust disguised by a small nod on the part of Alexa, the older man grinned as his hand slipped into his trench coat’s right pocket, then the focus was redirected back to Rafael.

“I noticed you leaving the doctor’s office, is everything alright with the little one?”

“She’s fine, thank you” Rafael responded curtly.

He raised up his hands and said, “Now there’s no need to get all defensive, I’m just expressing genuine concern over a fellow employee’s loved ones…nothing wrong with that is there?”

“Why are you here,” Alexa steadily grew uneasy at the way the situation was escalating.

“I was hoping that the father of your child and I could have a little chat”

“I’m sorry…but we have a busy day ahead of us, now if you’ll excuse us…” the two of them turned on their heels to walk away until…

“You know I was quite impressed with the way you handled your most recent case”

The comment seemed to stop Rafael dead in his tracks.

“Even after I asked you nicely to walk away…you stood your ground. I mean that really struck a chord with me, reminded me a lot of when I was an up and coming DA…I aspired to make a difference in the world and had a big ego to boot. Until one day I realized that to get ahead, you have to play the game…and I’m afraid it’s a lesson that you might have to learn the hard way”

After that last sentence, Alexa whirled around and gave him a look that shot daggers through his eyes.

“Are you threatening him?!”

As soon as she began to charge forward, Rafael put his hand up on her chest to prevent her from inflicting any kind of bodily harm on either party, the response towards this display of aggression was a snicker from the amused older gentlemen.

“Careful now, wouldn’t want to go into labor early, now would we?”

“Alexa, go wait in the car”

“Why, I’m not afraid of him”

“Alexa, just please do as I say”

She refused to let this man intimidate her, but ultimately decided to heed Rafael’s insistence and climbed into the SUV, Rafael shifted Davalos’ direction back to him without wanting to land a punch at the smug little grin he was showing.

“My, my, she’s quite the little spitfire, isn’t she?”

“I’m going to say this once…you leave me and my family alone, do we understand each other”

“Mr. Barba…I don’t think you’re in any kind of position to make threats, especially when you have more important matters to attend to. It was a pleasure meeting Alexa, hopefully I’ll receive an invite to the wedding…until then, enjoy the rest of your day Mr. Barba and be safe out there”

He winked then walked away and disappeared among the vast rows of cars in his wake, while in the SUV, Rafael turned on the engine and pulled out of the parking space. During the ride, back to the brownstone, silence enveloped the vehicle, but when they made entry; Rafael made haste towards the kitchen where he grabbed a bottle of scotch and a small glass.

He poured the amber liquid and brought it over to the living room along with the bottle, then placed it on the coffee table, Alexa trailed behind and sat across from him on the couch; Rafael picked up the glass and gulped it down in one shot then poured himself another drink. He doused the second and third one in quick succession, as he was about to go for a fourth, Alexa set her hand on the side of the bottle and slid it from his grasp.

“That’s enough”

Rafael sighed as he slumped backward, she looked at him saddened, it pained her to see him shaken up especially by a man with delusions of grandeur and drunk on power. Her hand reached over and palmed his knee, from the corner of his eye, he met her sympathetic stare at his haggard appearance.

“Don’t let that asswipe get to you”

Rafael faced Alexa, and with a serious look, he grabbed a hold of both of her hands and declared, “You know that I would never let anything happen to you, right?”

“I know”

Alexa rested her head on Rafael’s chest, his arm wrapped protectively on top of her stomach, she held onto him just as tightly. His lips peppered her forehead with soft kisses, however, on the surface, he put on a brave face but Davalos’ words replayed over and over internally, for the first time in his life; Rafael felt a twinge of fear at the pit of his stomach.

Suddenly, it was as if she could read his thoughts, Alexa tilted her head upwards to where their eyes met then the tips of her fingers grazed along his cheek as a sign of comfort.

“Nothing’s going to happen…not when I’m here…safe in your arms”

“I love you…you and Nadia are my whole world, if anything were to happen to either of you…I don’t know what I would do”

“Listen to me, that prick doesn’t know who he’s messing with…you are the strongest, bravest man I’ve ever known. Plus, you have one of the elite squads of the NYPD at your side…trust me, we’ll rest easy”

Rafael felt more at ease from the sound of her words, his face was reanimated with new life as he smiled, their lips became one filled with unsurpassed bliss and warmth. Alexa lowered her head back on to his chest, the beating of his heart lulled her into a deep sleep, not long after; Rafael’s lids began to weigh and within a matter of seconds, his mind drifted off to a restful slumber.

Tagging: @madpanda75 @laceybellerain @southern-magnolia @tropes-and-tales @madamsnape921 @teamsladsandgents @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @glimmerglittergirl

[vegaofdomino]

Vega, Fairy of Toys & Art

// ooc:  casual art from dress up game via deviantart fantazyme magic winx/charmix art by yukai5 via discord

hello! im a new winx oc rp blog open to any winx rp! feel free to pm me to rp! more info on vega is down below! 

Name: Vega

Age: 16

Gender: Female

What Creature Are you?: Fairy

Race: Dominoian

Allegiance: Good

Origins: Magic User

Powers: Toys and Art

Strengths: She is a wonderful listener and always has a piece of advice for anyone in need of one. She is very helpful and determined to get to a goal. She is open minded to anyone she meets, and tries her best not to have too many enemies unless they are a threat to her. Her creative nature allows her to fix most problems.

Weaknesses: She has trouble memorizing facts on the history of magic and realms. Most of the time, she needs to work alone. People looking over her shoulder can really throw her off course. She acts before she thinks, which can make the outcome a bit reckless and unorganized. Her work station is always a mess, even though she swears there is a system to it. She can be a bit too much of a people pleaser, which makes her forget her own needs.

Personality: A child at heart, Vega enjoys having a free and creative spirit. When one first meets her, she is very shy and hesitates to make friends. Partially because she has a habit of being a bit reckless and carefree with her words and actions and she is fearful of scaring people off with her loud personality. However, once one gets to know her, her lively and fun personality can be quite contagious. It’s hard to be in a sad mood around her. She is determined to keep a smile on any of her loved one’s faces and, in some rare circumstances, to strangers. She enjoys toy making and painting. With her reckless nature, and a bit of her fairy magic, she tends to have lots of trials and errors with her toy projects. However, she is determined to follow her dream of owning the magic dimension’s biggest toy company.

History: Vega resided in Domino with her mother and father until she was twelve years old. She lived peacefully, with her mother being a painter and her father being a carpenter. She loved to paint alongside her mother and build things with her father. She had a couple of friends, and was slightly bullied for her overwhelmingly bubbly personality. Her friends and family didn't allow this to stop her and were always there for her when times were tough. However, after the attacks of the Ancestral Witches, her mother was killed during the chaos. Vega and her father fled to Eraklyon after they were unfrozen, where they lived during and after their mourning period. During this period, her father blamed himself for not being able to save her mother. Vega, seeing this grief of her father at such a young age, did what she could to make him happy and be there for him. In the process of this, she discovered her powers one day when she found her father crying silently. Thinking of his favorite hobby that could cheer him up, which was wood work, she conjured up a hammer using just a rock and stick. Thus finding her fairy powers at the age of thirteen. When she turned sixteen, she left for Alfea College to study more into her fairy powers and learn how to better spread joy to those who hurt.

Appearance: 5’6, Teal hair with thick curls, Bright, big light blue eyes, thick and long eyelashes, wears a flower next to her bangs, loves to wear knee length dresses and skirts, girly

Spells:

Low Powered:

*Block Tower - Any objects/structures can be stacked in front of or around her like building blocks to form a magical shield/barrier. Can take up to three hits. If max hits are not reached, the barrier lasts for up to forty seconds. All objects and structures are put back to their original place after use of spell.

*Canvas Rupture - Vega cups her hands around the center of her chest and pulls them forward, creating small orbs of different colored magical paint to shoot at her target in a seven foot radius before dissipating. Up to ten orbs in one move. The spell inflicts light damage and stuns opponent.

*Puppet Tool - An enemy is enveloped in a magic wave that makes them lose control of their own body. Vega can control them to turn on their allies or help out their enemies for up to twenty seconds.

Medium Powered:

*Water Color Lullaby - Vega sings a melody and water colors float around her to enduce sleep to her desired target. There is a 50% chance of a direct hit. Target is asleep for up to fifteen seconds.

*Splatter Bomb - Vega claps her hands and slowly separates them to form an orb filled with magical paint. After throwing it at her target in up to a ten foot distance, the orb acts as a bomb and explodes in a seven foot radius.

*Stiff Joints - Vega outstretches her arms and shoots a beam from her palms at her target. Once hit, the target/enemy is slower in their attacks for up to thirty seconds. They can only move like a doll for that amount of time.

High Powered:

*Camo Wave - Her and the friends around her can blend into their surroundings. For herself, it lasts up to two minutes. For every 1+ person, it takes away thirty seconds.

*Blazing Missiles - Vega snaps her fingers, creating ten paint brush-shaped missiles to circle around her and point at her desired targets. Clapping her hands, the missiles shoot at a ten foot radius. Dissipates after ten seconds. Heavy damage.

[verumking]

𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓:  𝐘𝐎𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐀 

Repost, do not reblog.

tagged by :   stolen, can’t remember from who tagging :   steal  it !

▸       is your muse   tall    /    short    /    average ? Due to the Gigas core operation stunting his growth, Yozora stands at a mere 5′6″, just shy of 5′7″. He is considerably shorter than the average male of his age. canon said mega tol but in this house we say smol boy rights.

▸       are they okay with their height ? No-- he does have a height complex, but accepts that it cannot be helped in the slightest and doesn’t make any effort to alter his height in any way. He just scowls up at those taller than him.

▸      what’s their hair like ? Yozora’s hair is a peculiar phenomenon, in particular its colour. Naturally, it is sable brown to black, however, due to the stress of Gigas experimentation from an extremely young age, his hair became a stark white-silver ( Marie Antoinette syndrome ). Over time however, particularly after his escape from Gigas Corporation, Yozora’s dark roots have begun growing back, and the bright silver had receded down the length of his hair, fading to a dull violet-grey.   

For practically his whole life, Yozora’s hair length has been consistently medium-length, reaching just past his jawline-- only trimmed as a child by the Gigas as a means of accessing his skull and throat easier for medical examination. Yozora’s hair does not curl at all, remaining stark straight even after a shower. 

▸     do they spend a  lot of time on their hair     /    grooming ? Not at all-- perhaps because his hair doesn’t curl ( and is thus easy to maintain )-- or because he deems his appearance inconsequential in warfare-- but Yozora spends a scarce few minutes on grooming. He only gives his hair a quick comb-through, and spends slightly longer on shaving.  

▸      does your muse care about their appearance   /   what others think ? He will make an effort to look decent, but beyond that, Yozora cares very little about his appearance, and especially what others think.  

—    preferences.

▸      indoors    or    outdoors ?     indoors. ▸      rain    or    sunshine ?   rain. ▸      forest    or    beach ?      beach. ▸      precious    metals    or    gems ?      precious metals. ▸      flowers    or    perfumes ?     perfumes. ▸      personality    or    appearance ?      personality. ▸      being    alone    or    being    in    a    crowd ?     being  alone. ▸      order    or    anarchy ?   balanced, leaning order. ▸      painful    truths    or    white    lies ?     painful truths. ▸     science    or    magic ?     science. ▸      peace    or    conflict ?    peace. ▸      night    or    day ?     night. ▸      dusk    or    dawn ?      dusk. ▸      warmth    or    cold ?      cold. ▸      many   acquaintances    or    a    few    close    friends ?   few close friends. ▸      reading    or    playing    a    game ?      both.

—    questionnaire.

▸      what are some of your muse’s bad habits ? Yozora has a chronic tendency to shut people out when he feels himself growing too close. A cocktail of trust issues and a deep rooted hatred for abandonment, Yozora goes to every length to avoid growing attached to people. He believes that because he was forcibly raised with no semblance of a family, that he doesn’t need one, and is particularly dismissive of the concept of friendship. Following his ascension as the god of death, he also doesn’t seek a romantic relationship, deeming it an impossibility given his divine status. ( Needless attachment leads to needless heartbreak. )

That of course does not mean that Yozora doesn’t subconsciously grow attached anyway. He often finds himself forming unbreakable bonds without fully realising it himself. There was still a human side to him that craves emotional connections, even when he actively refuses them. 

▸      has your muse lost anyone close to them ? how has it affected them ? His earliest ‘loss’ was his biological mother, but not by death. Yozora’s mother willingly sold her only son to Gigas Corporation, in exchange for a hefty fee. Prior to this, the five-year old Yozora was nothing but accommodating for his struggling mother: refusing to cry when he was starving, and comforting her rather than the other way around. Yozora learned to suppress his emotions very early-- and this was only catalysed after witnessing his own mother’s betrayal. As a consequence, Yozora is extremely distrusting of others, and refuses to wear his heart on his sleeve ( see response above. )

▸      what are some fond memories your muse has ? In a time of warfare and universal crisis, fond memories are few and far between. However, it was the rarity of such moments that made them the most memorable. Whilst he does not want to define his relationship with Magia and Aegis as a friendship, the king cannot deny the comfort his knights give him. Be it during their downtime, when they’re playing a heated game of cards, or when Aegis makes a fool out of Magia (and vice versa) in an attempt to crack Yozora’s facade. Yozora greatly enjoys the company of his two comrades, and despite deeming himself unworthy of their loyalty, has sworn an equal oath to protect them. 

▸     is it easy for your muse to kill ? Absolutely-- this is particularly the case after his ascension as the god of death, after comprehending the true nature of his home realm ( that it is the underworld of all worlds, and thus no one was alive to begin with / are merely souls awaiting their reincarnation ), but also that the universe hinged on the balance of life and death. Death was both an inevitability and a necessity, and thus Yozora is not opposed to taking life for good reason. With his ability to preserve souls via crystal stasis / locking them in Replica Earth, Yozora is also unafraid of the consequences of killing someone, knowing well enough that they do not truly perish, unless they have weak karmas or he fully intents to destroy their soul.  

▸      what’s it like when your muse breaks down ? There’s a persistent silence to Yozora that manifests even when he is breaking down. He does everything in his power to repress any humanly emotion, convincing himself that a “machine” like him was incapable of such weakness, and that a god such as himself does not have the luxury. Nonetheless, should Yozora ever break down, he will isolate himself completely, feeling his corruption take over. Breaking down isn’t a loss of will for Yozora, but a descent to madness. You won’t catch him crying, but perhaps chuckling darkly, as something in his semi-corporeal mind finally unhinges, catalysed by the instability of his mechanical heart. 

▸      is your muse capable of trusting someone with their life ? It takes a great deal for Yozora to trust anyone for regular means, let alone with his life-- particularly following the incidents at Gigas Corporation, where his life was put in the hands of sadistic researchers who experimented on his corpse for their own amusement. This doesn’t mean that Yozora is completely incapable of trusting people with his life-- in fact, he trusts his two knights Magia and Aegis completely. However, it took a lot for Yozora to reach that level of comfort around them, being still plagued by his hyper-vigilance and general foreboding that Gigas Corporation will capture him once more. 

▸      what’s your muse like when they’re in love ? When falling in love, Yozora is just as reclusive in himself, perhaps even more so with the denial of his feelings. He would be adamant to dismiss his sentiments and will try to avoid interacting with said person whenever possible. When he finally comes to terms with his feelings, and such feelings are reciprocated, Yozora is an extremely intense lover. Once he knows the other is committed, he has complete tunnel vision for them-- he will remain loyal for life. Whilst verbally quiet, Yozora expresses his love through actions, such as stolen kisses and unconscious touches ( placing his hand on the small of their back, holding their hand, etc. ) Do not mistake his muted demeanour and withdrawn nature as shyness-- when he is love, he is assured of his feelings: he is merely uncertain about how to express them. 

[kingforevermore]

meta on Evan’s equipment, fighting style, skills, magic abilities, and companions. 

readmore for length and pictures. Minor?? spoilers??? for the DLC at least. Also this is mostly post game verse related, however it can kind of show how Evan will fight in other verses aswell.

First off it should be noted that Evan can seemingly summon weapons from thin air - but this isn’t the case. His main weapons are stored in what is called an arms band. It is a magical ring that can store a certain amount of items within it - specifically weapons hence the name.

Evan carries three different swords and a wand within his arms band. These weapons can change often as he is always being given new weapons by his smiths, finding new weapons in the wild, or simply a matter of preference. I will say two swords that Evan keeps on his person / in his arms band at all times - post game - at least.

First is the Cat King’s Legacy. This was a sword that previously belonged to his father and was given to Evan by Mausinger. He had been searching for the sword for a while to give to evan but didn’t manage to find it until after the events of the ‘liar of the lost lord’ aka the labyrinth. It’s a standard looking sword, silver with a gold hilt that is unsurprisingly cat-like in appearance. 

The second is the Supreme Sword of Unity. This is the Sword of Unity which Evan used to defeat the Horned One, but upgraded significantly thanks to an item obtained in the high higgledy questline / after fighting ‘The Great MadShadow’ (the taint from the god of gods). This sword is almost completely silver with some bright green gemstones, and a soft glow if you look close enough. Matches Evan’s crown.

These two weapons are extremely powerful, and magical, and the arms band helps pull out their full potential. 

His third sword and wand tend to be changed up post game every so often. He carried the ‘boy king’s scepter’ wand for a while, but keeps it more as a formal item than one he goes out to battle with. This is also an item he gained from Mausinger. 

Now as far as his fighting style goes:

Evan uses a mix of swordsmanship and magic, as stated above. 

However he also uses a special technique called the ‘Ding Dong Discipline’. This is a special technique used mostly by the handmaidens of Ding Dong Dell’s castle. Aranella, Evan’s former governess, wrote about and developed the technique even further and doubled as Evan’s bodyguard because of it. After finding Aranella’s diary and reading her entries about the style, Evan incorporated it into his own fighting style. 

Gameplay wise, this involves dodging the enemy attack at the last possible second in order for time to slow down and deal combo and power blows. Evan uses his speed and small size to catch the enemy off guard and striking them while they’re vulnerable. I wouldn’t be surprised if time actually did slow down thanks to magic, but I think it depends on the moment / how tense the fighting is / the power Evan puts behind his movements. 

Now skills and magical abilities are something I’m going to kind of lump together. I’m mostly taking these from my own personal experience with in the game + some specifics mentioned in gameplay. 

Though it should be noticed that magic wise, Evan can pretty much learn anything as long as he studies it / is taught it / is given the spell by someone. In ni no kuni 2, people are able to simply ‘give’ others the knowledge of spells by casting it on them / magically sharing the information. So Evan can pretty much learn any spell this way. He has a bunch of non-battle orientated magic that was learned this way (which we’ll get to a bit later).

Below are the specific skills / magic that i used most in game so if i’m writing a fight scene will probably describe the most:

Cut and Thrust: A series of rapid-fire slashes that can take out enemies on all sides. Pretty much a powerful AOE attack around Evan himself. 

Dazzleslash: A slash imbued with the power of light that can cut a swathe through enemies. This attack causes his sword to grow twice-three as large before he slams it down on an enemy. Is actually a pretty fast attack. 

Floodlight: Summons the power of light to protect all allies from physical and magical attacks. Lasts for a couple minutes but does take a bit to cast and he can’t be interrupted.

Sunrise: Balls of Light fly at foes, dealing damage as they strike. The size depends on how much magic Evan puts behind the attack.

Astra: A large amount of MP is expended to summon a great tower of blinding light. This spell takes a while to cast but summons multiple beams of light form underneath the targeted enemy, they go off a few times before doing one large blow all at once. Evan will be drained for a bit after this one.

Lifeline: brings back incapacitated allies, and heals everyone’s HP as well. This is another one that takes a lot out of Evan but he can use it to bring back knocked out or even recently deceased allies. 

As you can probably tell, Evan has a large affinity towards light.  Gameplay wise, Evan never learns any dark related spells. Writing wise, I put this mostly up to Evan’s personality. He probably has the capability for it, being a powerful magic user even as a young child - but he doesn’t want to learn those kinds of spells. Even if he did they would probably be much weaker in power than his light spells anyways. He doesn’t feel the need to tap into more dark magic - he can if he must but it would take a lot for him to even think about learning those spells. 

Evan is one of the only ones in the party that can learn LifeLine - the only other one in the party able to learn it is Tani surprisingly. I would think that this is actually an extremely difficult spell to master to the point that even Leander - who has the highest magic stat and can learn THE MOST MAGIC out of everyone in the group - can’t even seem to learn it. I imagine maybe it has to do with age, that maybe younger people can preform it better than adults, but that’s a theory for another time.

Now Evan knows other magic aswell, mostly from the Wizard’s companion. This is a spellbook from the first game that Evan obtains in the second thanks to the Conductor. So while they’re not battle related spells, he still has learned them thanks to the conductor and can be seen using them on more than one occasion. I’m not going to say that Evan knows ALL of the spells in the companion yet, but he is learning them. Some of these Evan also were taught by others in the game aswell which is why I wanted to list them along with the spells from the companion I think Evan would use. Simply listing them here for ease:

Spring Lock: unlocks almost all enchanted locks

Nature’s tongue: Allows Evan to speak with animals.

Spirit Medium: allows Evan to speak with ghosts

Levitate: does as you would expect, makes him and anyone around him levitate/fly for a short period of time/distance.

Quickened Growth:  allows it's user to hasten the growth of a plant - Evan mostly uses these to create pathways via plants.

Bridge: Allows Evan to rebuild a path that has sense been destroyed/covered/made impassable. 

Draw Poison: Allows Evan to remove poison from someone.

Veil: allows user to mask their scent, making them undetectable from monsters.

Gateway: THIS SPELL IS ONLY LEARNED FOR THE SAKE OF MY CROSSOVER VERSE. In his canon verses he will likely not mention it. It is a spell that opens up a doorway that transports the caster between worlds.

Waterslide: Allows Evan to use higgledy’s to create a literal waterslide going up or down.

Kindle: Allows Evan to use higgley’s to start a fire. 

Now for companions. This is mostly to talk about the higgledy’s which i’ve mentioned a few times. The Higgledies are special creatures that only a select few can see and even fewer can understand and command. Evan is one of those fewer. Below is an example of what the higgledies sort of look like though each has a unique feature about them (normally some kind of accessory) as well as a name, a personality, and a varying skillset.

Evan can have up to four different ‘main’ higgledies with him at a time but they summon others of the same time to help them pull off their attacks, so there’s a dozen of these cute little guys running around with Evan at any given time. 

The make up of these higgledies always varies. Some focus on buffs while others focus on offense, defense, or healing. It all really depends on what Evan wants to bring with him at the time. 

There are also the ‘high higgledies’ which are considered ‘gods’ among the higgledies and are born from the hearts of some of Evan’s companions / citizens / those he met in his journey. These are born of specific personality traits from a person and are the most powerful higgledies anyone can find. Post Game Evan normally has one of them with him (as these were higgledies he technically gained during the tale of a timeless tome dlc with the conductor). 

He does try to switch out these guys often as he wants to show each of them love and support - but it’s clear he has favorites. 

But a reminder that while not everyone can see higgledies - you can still get hit with their attacks / affected by their buffs. 

andddd this ended up way longer than i thought - sorry lmao.

[hollywoodgothique]

House Of Spirits: A Haunted Cocktail Soirée is a true original, unlike anything else we have experienced in Halloween 2019. Though the name would suggest a themed popup bar, House of Spirits is quite a bit more than that. It incorporates eclectic elements: performance, immersive experience, interactive costume party, and even haunted house walk-through. However, in the end, House of Spirits is none of those things but rather its own unique combination.

The premise is that you are attending a party in a house cursed by the macabre art of a grieving painter, created in the final desperate days of his life, which opened a portal not to his lost love but to dark realms whose denizens now haunt the premises, blighting all who live there. How closely you encounter these beings depends on which activities you choose to participate in, the sheer variety of which is guaranteed to satisfy the cravings of even the most omnivorous Halloween enthusiasts.

House Of Spirits Halloween Review: Ghost Ship on Land?

House of Spirits is set in the mansion that used to house Delusion Interactive Theatre.

House Of Spirits: A Haunted Cocktail Soirée is the creation of Meyer 2 Meyer Entertainment, whose personnel formerly ran the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride and currently produce Rated R: A Horror Speakeasy. House of Spirits might sound like juiced-up version of the latter, rebranded and moved to a new location for Halloween, but it actually has more in common with a nearly forgotten one-shot that the Haunted Hayride creators produced in 2011: Ghost Ship.

Ghost Ship was not a hit with the public; it was a great idea that failed to live up to its potential, offering a three-level experience – one for each deck aboard harbor cruise yacht, with ghostly hosts and entertainers on the main deck, a show on the upper deck, and a scary maze on the lower deck. The problem was twofold: the yacht did not provide a sufficiently spooky setting, and it was impossible to fit enough entertainment into its hull to fill the ninety-minute cruise.

House of Spirits takes this clever template and ingeniously applies it to an ominous mansion* in the West Adams neighborhood of Los Angeles, bringing to fruition everything that Ghost Ship sought to achieve. With the atmosphere and square footage Ghost Ship lacked, this magnificent venue houses an amazing three-level event in and around the building. On the ground floor, guests can mingle with their ghoulish host and hostess, listen to music, watch a puppet show, and imbibe a half-dozen cocktails (included with the price of admission). Upstairs, there is a strange sort of scavenger hunt of a most morbid nature. And in the basement are not one but two scare experiences. Additionally, there are gathering places outdoors, along with a strange little hovel where you will learn the secret responsible for the curse upon the haunted house.

Add it all up, and House of Spirits provides multifarious forms of malevolent entertainment nook and cranny of its haunted house – more than enough to justify the recommended two-hour stay.

House Of Spirits Halloween Review: Arrival

An outdoor lounge where guests relax before their appointed entrance time.

House Of Spirits: A Haunted Cocktail Soirée offers two arrival times on weeknights and three on weekends: 6:30pm, 9pm, and 11:30pm. It is not necessary to arrive precisely on time, but it’s a good idea if you want to see everything. The event can be crowded, with a line on the sidewalk to get through the security search and another line in the front yard to validate tickets.

If you happen to get in before your appointed time, there is a “lounge” (a small mobile bar beneath an awning, with some limited seating), where you can wait. This is one of two cash bars on the outside grounds, where you can pay for drinks above and beyond the half-dozen that come included with admission.

Eventually, you ghoulish host, Raul, shows up and fills you in on whatever details you need to know about the “party” he is throwing inside the house, whetting your anticipation with a promise of drunken revelry on the main floor and terrifying demonic encounters in the basement.

Perhaps most important, you receive a punch card for the six bars inside the house, where you will spend most of the ensuing two hours. Though it is easy to overlook in the excitement of the night’s debauchery, this card includes suggestions and questions that will assist your exploration of the mysteries haunting the House of Spirits.

House Of Spirits Halloween Review: Ground Floor

On this level, spirits both ectoplasmic and alcoholic flow freely, creating a gay and magnificent revel, with the help of six bars offering free drinks. Both Raul’s wife and his mistress float about, engaging their party guests in conversation and dropping suggestions about what parts of the house they may wish to explore. There is no preferred order to the evening’s diversions and delights, but there are lines to get both upstairs and downstairs, so it’s a good idea to divide your time wisely.

An invisible hand answers your questions.

Pastimes on the ground floor include a giant ouija board, with a planchette moved by an invisible hand spelling out answers in responses to spoken questions. (Sadly, the ghost’s identify seems to be that of Anton, the hosts’ recently deceased child.) There is an out-of-tune piano, but we wouldn’t recommend playing it, since there is entertaining live music in the next room from a variety of performers, on electric guitar or accordion.

Best of all is the macabre puppet show, in a small room just off the main entrance. While a ghoul-faced narrator recites grim and grisly ghost stories, two sinister puppeteers – their dark, skull-like visages almost invisible against the black backdrop behind them – enact the action, the movement of the puppets enhanced with novel sound effects: liquid poured from a cocktail shaker to simulate vomit, a plastic bottle crushed to simulate broken bones. Don’t miss your chance to enjoy at least one of these short performances.

This malevolent mistress of the house invites you inside.

Party Guests

Great party, isn’t it?

House Of Spirits: A Haunted Cocktail Soirée Halloween Review

Out of tune piano

Your Ghostly Hostess

Ghostly Accordion Player

Your Ghostly Hostess

House Of Spirits Halloween Review: Macabre Artists Named Francisco

Goya’s Saturn Devours His Son

There is one more important element of the ground floor presentation. In the gruesome Goya Gallery, art lovers may peruse a handful of disturbing canvases, such as Saturn Devouring His Son, one of fourteen “Black Paintings” created by Francisco Goya (1746-1828) during the final years of his life – a series which also included “Witches’ Sabbath.”

Though not on display here, one of Goya’s most famous works is The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters (1799), which depicts a sleeping artist tormented tormented by nightmarish visions of bats and owls, as if these apparitions will soon enter our world via the medium of the artist – a theme evoked in the back story of House of Spirits, which seems loosely inspired by Goya’s “Black Paintings.”

However, when you leave the ground floor to explore upstairs, you will learn that the artist whose work doomed the House of Spirits is Francisco Vega – not the renowned Spanish painter Francisco Preciado de la Vega (1713-1789) but a fictional character whose work was even more demented than that of Goya.

House Of Spirits Halloween Review: Upstairs

The staircase leads to a bizarre scavenger hunt.

On the second floor, a servant will inform you of the final, fateful days of Francisco Vega, who crafted six ghastly canvases shortly before his death. These Spirit Paintings, on display, contain clues to Six Keys, which may unlock the mystery of the House of Spirits.

After perusing the small gallery of horrors, you explore six rooms, each inhabited by someone or something depicted by the artist. These spectral phantoms (including a ghastly pregnant woman hoovering over crib containing a tiny skeleton- presumably Anton) may aid your in your search, but they will demand that you perform unpleasant actions to retrieve the keyes (reaching into bathwater for a rib bone is the least of it).

Some keys may not be easy to find, but if you persist in your quest, you will succeed, whereupon you deliver them to a strange character who marks you with a cryptic insignia on your hand or forehead, initiating you into the elite of the households inhabitants. Exactly what “benefits” accrue from this are unclear, but you may be sure they are of a nefarious nature.

Vega’s paintings hold clues to the Six Keys.

Expect to meet this creature in the flesh.

House Of Spirits Halloween Review: The Basement

After the upstairs scavenger hunt, there is nowhere to go but down – into the basement – where the true terrors lurk.

There are two attractions in the basement, each with its own entrance. One is a brief and eerie pantomime performance depicting  Vega – deranged and eventually nude – creating his final work, a life-sized painting that opens a portal enabling a visitor from the other side to enter the earthly plane. Is this being angel or demon or neither? The answer to that question can be found elsewhere.

The second descent into darkness is the closest House of Spirits comes to offering a haunted house walk-through. Groups of half-a-dozen or so party guests are given mirrors and instructions to stand in pools of dim light, chanting “Molly Magpie, Molly Magpie, how did you die?”

This ritual extinguishes the light, allowing some denizen of darkness to manifest; then another pool of light appears, farther along, drawing your group deeper into the basement, where the ritual is repeated, again and again, each time with nightmarish results. There terrors invoked are all the more disturbing because they have materialized at your bidding, and the demons are not necessarily happy to answer your call.

Both experiences are delicious creepy, evincing the sort of demented artistry one used to see at the L.A. Haunted Hayride – less crude shock than carefully choreographed grotesquerie.

House Of Spirits Halloween Review: Exterior

The Mystery Solved

Exiting either basement attraction leads to the outside grounds, where you will find a second cash bar, a food vendor, and the Garden of Anguish, where you can relax among strange flora before reentering the House of Spirits.

Most important is a small hovel, easy to overlook in the darkness. An attendant should be outside to explain why you should explore its interior.

The entrance leads down to a confined space where you will see the pages of Francisco Vega’s diary projected on the wall, detailing the anguish that drove him to create his final sextet of uncanny masterworks and revealing the true nature of the being he inadvertently unleashed upon our world, dooming all future inhabitants of the House of Spirits.

House Of Spirits Halloween Review: Cocktails

Great party, isn’t it?

Six Spirit Paintings, Six Keys, Six Cocktails.

A key ingredient to the success of House of Spirits is the half-dozen miniature drinks included with admission. Guests receive one free drink at each bar inside the house, a bartender punching your card at each stop.

Offerings range from Goya’s Ghost (ginger, black currant, fire bitters, orange bitters) to Magpie (passion fruit puree, lime, agave, grapefruit, bitters. Each drink features a product by Don Julio, with guests choosing one of two options, such as tequila or vodka.

Though individually small, the creepy cocktails are collectively intoxicating, altering human consciousness to a level where it is more open to the contact with the spirit realm. By the end of the evening, contact with ghosts will seem like the norm.

Creepy Cocktails

Creepy Cocktails

Creepy Cocktails

Creepy Cocktails

House Of Spirits Halloween Review: conclusion

In case you have yet to unravel the mystery at the heart of this review, we had a supernaturally grand experience at House Of Spirits: A Haunted Cocktail Soirée. The $65 price tag may seem steep, but it is actually a bargain in terms of cost-benefit ratio. The myriad elements excel on their own terms, combining to form an amazing Halloween event unlike any other.

Footnote:

This is the same location used by Delusion Interactive Theatre on several occasions.

House Of Spirits: A Haunted Cocktail Soirée (Review) House Of Spirits: A Haunted Cocktail Soirée is a true original, unlike anything else we have experienced in Halloween 2019.

[tg-fal]

Character Introduction via Old Art

I just want to introduce the Team we’re dealing with

I will draw them all (hopefully soon) with my improved art but for now, I can only offer art from 2014 or 15 or something ; 7 ;

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For Starters: The Team’s name is 1.FC Lachshafen

Short explanation: 1.FC is short for 1.Fußballclub (so 1.Footballclub yeet). “Lachshafen” is the made-up town the team plays for. It translates to “Salmonharbor” in English. (As mentioned it’s up in the north of Germany and right at the North sea, by the way. So yes, it’s also partly a harbor although a very small one)

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So now onto the 11 losers:

Mia Sommer

Full Name: Mia Antonia Sommer

Age: 16

Birthday: 19. May

Height: 1.57 m

Position: Defense

Skills: Barely there

Tricot Number: 6

Due to her bad luck in pulling raffle tickets, Mia became the captain of the football club. She’s not very enthusiastic about it, as the sport doesn’t interest her at all and she also has not much of an idea about it. Mia’s interests are stereotypically girly. She likes pink, flowers and old Barbie movies. One thing that is consistently on her mind is the topic of love. Mia is awfully romantic and daydreams of roses, kisses and sunsets with the credits rolling over them. She strongly desires to experience all that herself, but at the same time her shyness keeps her from talking to boys her age. Mia is rather insecure and cares a great deal about what others might think of her. She’s easily nervous and can be a bit of a coward. She’s overall friendly and a caring individual however, who shows herself helpful towards her friends. Her dream is to become a famous singer in the future and she truly has a beautiful voice. 

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Eric Parker

Full Name: Eric Anselm Parker

Age: 17

Birthday: 7. February

Height: 1.83 m

Position: Attack

Skills: Great

Tricot Number: 3

Eric quickly gets recognized as best player by the team, which simultaneously earns him a ton of admiration by most of the teammates. He and his two friends came out of the neighboring town to join the team. As Eric is very reserved he rather stays around those two certain friends named Mariella and Lars. He’s not very talkative and does not make much effort to get to know the rest of the team. To some his aloof behavior makes him come across as arrogant, to other’s he’s intimidating. He’s quite oblivious to all of the admiration or other mixed emotions the team has about him. Eric is helpful though and does state his opinion here and there if he feels that it helps. He's not arrogant at all and actually very self-critical. Despite popular belief his greatest pleasure is not football, but music and his guitar. 

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Polly Joslawski

Full Name: Polly Angelina Joslawski

Age: 16

Birthday: 7. September

Height: 1.63 m

Position: Defense

Skills: Medium

Tricot Number: 17

Polly is Mia’s best friend who follows her to the small village. She’s a very energetic and joyful girl, who always tries to search for the bright side of everything as she is also very optimistic. Polly is very supportive towards her friends and often behaves like some sort-off cheerleader to them. She's great at cheering people up and giving them an encouragement-talk. She loves good jokes and makes many of them herself. She’s also rather hyperactive and very bouncy, not liking to sit still for long. Polly doesn’t care if you insult her and shows a very long temper when it comes to that. However, if you greatly insult or hurt any of her friends she becomes furious. It takes her a long time to reconcile with people who have greatly wronged people close to her. However when it comes to people who have wronged her, she can be way too forgiving. Her favorite animals are frogs.

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Melanie Lieske

Full Name: Melanie Lieske

Age: 17

Birthday: 16. March

Height: 1.78 m

Position: Defence

Skills: Bad

Tricot Number: 24

Melanie, usually called “Melly”, is a warm and caring young lady who also shows herself as rather selfless. She’s quite mature, well-mannered and usually stays out of unnecessary conflicts, rather searching for ways to solve them. She looks out for others and their well-being, offers help when she feels someone needs it while also making sure to not make them feel uncomfortable. She’s patient and has her temper under excellent control. However she is not afraid to scold and nag people here and there. All of this gives her a sort-off motherly vibe and she is generally well-liked by basically everyone. She tends to forget to look after her own well-being sometimes, however. She’s greatly passionate about gardening and baking. 

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Emma Herbst

Full Name: Elisabeth Emma Herbst

Age: 17

Birthday: 27. September

Height: 1.70 m

Position: Attack

Skills: Very Good

Tricot Number: 25

Emma is bold and daring. She is rather impatient and energetic and often acts without all too much thought behind it. Adding to that her temper is very short and it does not take all too long to make her snap, if you pull the right strings. She’s much of a tomboy and rather uninterested with most stereotypical “girlish” interests. She has a strong sense for justice though and his never afraid to speak up for what she believes is right. Emma also has a good sense for motivating people and get them to actually act instead of sulking in the corner. She herself hates not acting on problems immediately. She also hates the feeling of being chained down and is free-spirited. When she was a child she wanted to be a sailor and holds a fascination for the roaring seas to this day.

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Mariella Caivano

Full Name: Mariella Alexandra Dorotea Caivano

Age: 17

Birthday: 17. August

Height: 1.75 m

Position: Middle

Skills: Medium

Tricot Number: 34

Mariella is confident with herself and shows that a lot. To many she therefore comes across as highly arrogant but Mariella does not really care about what people think about her, if she’s not trying to impress them. She knows her skills and talents and how to utilize them. She was spoiled by her parents and is used to getting whatever she wants. Should a situation occur in which that is not the case, she will desperately try to flip it around in her favor. Sometimes she does fail to realize when things go too far however. She enjoys being envied but can become greatly jealous herself. While she’d never attack someone for no reason, she’s not someone pleasant to have as enemy. She aspires to be a make-up artist in the future. 

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P.K.

Full Name: Patrick Karl “P.K.” Müller

Age: 17

Birthday: 23. February

Height: 1.90 m

Position: Middle

Skills: Medium

Tricot Number: 19

P.K. is a laidback and friendly young man, who has a good understanding on how to socialize. He is open and extroverted and not afraid to take the first step. He's an optimist who perfectly understands how to cheer people up and also pretty well-mannered. At the same time, he’s much of a jokester and always in for some good fun. He always stays true to himself and does not care the slightest what others may think about him. He has a long temper and it takes a lot to actually make him dislike someone. Although he will always stand up against unfair treatment against others. He's also helpful and a great listener. He wants to work for his family’s hotel in the future as a chef, as cooking is his greatest passion.

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David Fischer

Full Name: David Martin Fischer

Age: 17

Birthday: 27.April

Height: 1.83 m

Position: Goalkeeper

Skills: Very Good

Tricot Number: 1

David is P.K.’s cousin and despite being the same age, David is a lot less mature. He’s one of the more skilled members of his team and greatly annoyed by the team’s overall lack of skill. At the same time, he himself is quite cocky and arrogant and often acts all mighty and smug. He does not take any damaging of his pride lightly and is also rather easily jealous. He hates when others steal his attention. He’s also one to often voice his opinion without thinking about consequences or wether it’s appropriate or not. Combined with his rather short temper it makes him a person who easily runs into troubles. He can be a bit of an Elitist and hard to get along with first, but deep down he learns how to care about his team more and more and becomes a lot more loyal  and protective over them. He can be fun and also brave. Also he loves video games.

-

Lars Geist

Full Name: Lars Geist

Age: 16

Birthday: 9. October

Height: 1.68 m

Position: Middle

Skills: Bad

Tricot Number: 15

Lars is antisocial and uncommunicative. He’s greatly uninterested in making new friends and rather stays safe in the small friend circle he already has. At the same time he’s greatly desperate to keep the friends he already has as his friends. Lars is always nodding along to whatever his two closest friends, Mariella and Eric, say and agrees with them on basically everything. As he is also crushing on Eric, he generally follows him around pretty much everywhere. He can be a bit possessive over the people close to him and is often jealous whenever they make new friends. This can even result in him becoming rather rude towards the new persons. Lars also lacks self-confidence and does barely ever stand up for himself. He loves painting. 

-

Maximillian Beckert

Full Name: Maximillian Beckert

Age: 15

Birthday: 24. August

Height: 1.65 m

Position: Attack

Skills: Good

Tricot Number: 9

Maximilian is an optimistic young boy and pretty much the sunshine of the group. He hates seeing people being down and sad and often goes to make them feel better, even if he should not know them very well personally. He’s a great listener and a good shoulder to cry on. Maxi does care a lot about what others think about him though. Whenever he attempts to make friends he desperately tries to come across as hip and cool instead of just being his normal, much more charming self. This often results in some very awkward conversations. He does always stands up from failures however and takes it on a new with a smile. He owns a dog who he is very enthusiastic about and he would like to work with animals in the future. 

-

Annika Förster

Full Name: Annika Luise Förster

Age: 15

Birthday: 3.March

Height: 1.50 m

Position: Middle

Skills: Bad

Tricot Number: 13

Annika is insanely shy and also greatly antisocial. Aside from her childhood friend Maximillian, she barely ever interacts with any member of the team and rather admires most of them from a far. She does not think very highly of herself and is also very soft-spoken. She would never stand up for herself and does not speak up if something bothers her, which some people do see as an invitation to walk all over her. Annika is actually very intelligent and well-read. She reads novel after novel and secretly writes herself, dreaming of being an author someday. Annika is pretty gloomy and melancholic but still caring and always there when Maxi needs her. 

[jungdrizzydraco]

An O.C. for Your Asses!!!

I wanna see if the characters are legit before I move forward with this short story im working on (I'm a character first kinda guy, so I work inside-out) leave any form of constructive critique you wish, they are still works in progress, thanks!!

Augustine Harriet Andersson

Age:22

Sign: Gemini (sun) Cancer (moon) Virgo (rising)

Height: 5'8

Eye Color: Formerly dark-brown, bleached to a pastel-hazel because of some dark magic fuckery

Hair Color/Cut: dark-brown,q shifting variations of a fade, whose design changes somewhat based on his thoughts and emotions (yes, this is an enchanted fade)

Build: lean, lightly muscled from years lifting cauldrons in his grandfather's potion shop

Notable Features: Dimples; left-dimple is deeper than right, multiple piercings on each ear, artificial left eye (looks organic but to magical eyes, it looks otherwise)

"Have you ever been like...fundamentally angry? I feel that way...like at my core, there's this rage that seethes and coils at the pit of my stomach, everyday, like a python that can't quite squeeze his prey all the way to death. Everytime I think I've grown up, forgiven something or someone or myself, there's this anger that tightens right back up all over again...like it's reminding me of something. Somedays...I feel like that feeling will petrify everything I've ever loved about myself, and I'll just be another slave to outrage and ego and pain...just like everyone else...haha, then I'll really be a normie."  -August Andersson, on his depression and internal anger issues.

Augustine Andersson is a witch-boy. But you could probably already tell that from looking at him: the way his eyes are almost constantly fixed towards some unseeable infinity, the way air molecules hum with fresh, manic energy around him, how he seems to absorb sunlight and the way his brown skin would filter the glow as a result of his connection to the natural...it was all very off putting to others around him for most of his young adult life. And as we all know, no one likes a freak, so such years had a hand in building his current trust issues, feelings of great anger and inadequacy, and all the tics and tricks he uses to keep such feelings at bay. He's not at a total loss; at his core he is a humanitarian, deeply compassionate and available to those who have managed to capture his heart, as well as wild and humorous. However, he keeps a tight lid on his darkest feelings and insecurities, out of fear that they may be too much for those around him (also, he might accidentally call forth a vile arch-daemon on accident, but that's neither here nor there.) After finally having had enough of his mundane time amongst the humans, he vanishes from his college campus one day and takes to the open road, hoping that like the many young, angsty teens in the movies he loves, he will find himself in his own solitude. But the best way to deal with oneself is when confronting someone else, and after a close-call with a reckless (and very cute) motorcycle rider on an interstate, August will be forced to deal with every single part of himself, the good, the bad, and the strange...

A few more things about him...

1. His father is Afro-swedish, hence his last name.

2. Loves to travel and is nomadic by nature.

3. He gets a special kind of warmth out of being moderately petty at all times.

4. He loves open spaces and bodies of water, as well as hikes through mountains (ok so he only went once in Vegas, so sue him, he really liked it!)

5. Surprisingly low maintenance, really just likes being around people that are happy, and the feeling easily rubs off on him.

6. Both positive and negative emotions easily rub off on him.

7. Can get caught up in moments of warm content, given his unstable interior life, and can get lost in wasting/spending time.

8. Gets restless easily.

9. Budding film buff, faves include Kill Bill vol. 1&2, Her, Moonrise Kingdom, Gone Girl, Blue is the Warmest Color, Moonlight, & Mean Girls.

10. August's father is very engaged with politics and civil rights, so in honor of that, he decided that his son's middle name would belong to one of the greatest figures of the civil rights movement: Harriet Tubman.

11. Favorite new movie is The Favourite.

12. Due to a lack of acceptance of his full self and the full spectrum of his sexuality, he is judgemental of others and holds them to the same near-impossible standards he holds for himself. 

13. Things he expects from others: To read his mind and conjure what he wants without saying, to have his needs and boundaries respected without actually stating so, for others to fit in whatever box he thinks they should be in, for everyone's intellect to be slightly lower than his own, but high enough not to annoy him with silly questions, ect.

14. Listens to Lorde, J. Cole, Rex Orange County, Frank Ocean, Lana Del Rey, Tyler the Creator, Young Thug and assorted film soundtracks.

15. Enjoys playing into his double-sided nature when it suits him, and has a secret glee in melding into different roles depending on who's around him.

16. Is attracted to more eccentric personalities in platonic and romantic relationships

17. Smokes weed to escape boredom. (and his problems)

18. Smokes weed because he likes the feeling.

19. Is secretly a little ratchet, but he'll kill you if you say so, it'll fuck up his reputation as the quasi-sociopathic erudite.

Magic House-Thoth

Augustine is a member of the Sacred House of Life, witches whose magic is passed down from the Egyptian Gods themselves. August himself is a descendant of an African slave-witch, once known as Ashe. She was taken to Egypt as a typical piece of cargo from zealot raiders, and was sentenced to a life of building the pyramids. Or so she would have thought: Thoth, the God of Magic and Knowledge, took pity upon her and beguiled her to follow an invisible force into the desert one night. He then revealed himself to her in his ibis-headed brilliance and bestowed upon her a set of choices: he could free her now and set her loose across the desert with all the things she would need for survival, or he could give her secrets and wisdoms unknown to man at the time, but she would have to frequently return to him for lessons. Ashe always prized knowledge and growth over any material thing, or even something such as freedom (I prefer to disagree myself). And secrets from a God must count for that much more, right? She indulged in option two. Thoth grinned and whispered to her the mysteries of life, the secrets of the stars, and the riddles of worlds lost and intangible, he spoke magick into her very soul. She would then use her newfound knowledge to fool her captors, freed any slave that would believe in her, and with her wits about them, guided them across the desert to build a library-like sanctuary, in honor of Thoth. The former slaves then learned from the god's teachings, passed through Ashe, and became witches and educators in their own right, and Ashe came to lead this new coven of magi. This is how the House of Thoth became to be. 

Magick: As a member of house of Thoth, August has the ability to manipulate various aspects of the moon, writing, hieroglyphics, knowledge and sciences, and the progression of time. His particular specialty is the creation of Moon Dust, a substance used as a medium for most of his spells. By gathering various quantities of mineral, be it: crystal, rocks, pearls, aluminum, or even silvers and golds, he can channel his magic into them and break down and rearrange their atomic components into a corrosive, abrasive substance that also tends to stick to objects due to an electric charge. This dust is also dangerous to breathe in. He tends to carry around a pouch or two on his person, as trying to create some on the fly is nearly impossible given how much time and intricacy is needed to create the substance. (I mean, working with just a pile of plain old rocks would take a couple of hours to convert, let alone harder or more distilled substances.) Spells that he has mastered so far include...

Spell of Refraction: A spell in which the moondust bonds to whomever or whatever August desires (sans the harmful effects, it's enchanted in this state) and whatever is enveloped in dust turns invisible via light refraction.

Spell of Revelations: He can spread his moondust over an area and have the pieces cling to imprints of negative emotion or dark magick. A spell used for forensic work.

Spell of Retribution: An offensive spell that uses moondust to its fullest offensive powers and creates small funnels of dust to ravage the opponent. The largest funnel made could surround a fully grown man.

Golemancy:  Can create golems out of the moon dust he has formed, usually no larger than a human toddler. They tend to take form roughly resembling lego-men (he was a big fan of the Lego Expanded Universe as a child), but one can easily be fooled by their size: each golem has the strength of three men, and can combine to further power themselves up.

There are a few spells that don't require the moon dust...

-The Veil: A surface-level illusion layered directly over the skin. This allows the caster to look like whatever he wants to look like and sound however he wants, but can be broken if struck with bad intentions (like a slap from an offended woman on the street)

 -Somnus: A very old, yet practical spell. Also one that does not require moondust, this handy spell induces sleep.  Those affected by this spell will not remember being forced to sleep, but they will have active and vivid dreams for distraction. Also necessary for Dream Diving.

-Dream Diving:  A skill Augustine has yet to master, this allows the caster to astral project into one's consciousness for complete access to the afflicted parties mind, if the brain is distracted by dreams. August has gotten stuck in several public nude dreams, and it takes long hours to remove oneself from another's mind.

-Illusion Casting 

-Temporary Madness Inducement

-Script Magick: By writing down a word or phrase on any surface that can be sufficiently marked on, whatever has been written manifests somehow, just so long as it is within his power. He can't create miracles with it though.

Top 10 Roadtrip Songs

Sobriety- Sza

No Role Moldelz-J. Cole

Sacrifices -Dreamville, assorted artists

Grown Up Fairy Tails- Chance the Rapper, Taylor Bennett 

My Boy-Billie Eilish

U.N.I.T.Y.- Frank Ocean

West Coast: Lana Del Rey

Cruise Ship-Young Thug

400 Lux-Lorde

Let Em Know- Bryson Tiller

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/lovehaswon-astrology-updatefull-moon-in-aquarius-mermaid-magic/

LoveHasWon Astrology Update~Full Moon in Aquarius: Mermaid Magic

LoveHasWon Astrology Update~Full Moon in Aquarius: Mermaid Magic

By Archeia Aurora of The First Contact Ground Crew Team

Today we have the Full Moon in Aquarius, bring us all a deep and intense release. Aquarius is often confused as water sign because its symbol is the water bearer. However, Aquarius is indeed an air sign, but the water bearer element means the spreading of wisdom. Aquarius is the sign of evolution, humanity and higher consciousness.

This Full Moon is closing a 2 year journey that began in 2017 with the Full Solar Eclipse in Leo, Aquarius’ opposite. We have gone through a complete transformation of learning to follow our hearts (Leo) and serving a greater purpose (Aquarius). Uranus, Aquarius’ ruler, is known for his sudden shake ups and rebelliousness. Uranus pushes us to see a wider perspective, a higher outlook on what we are doing here on this planet. He refuses to allow stagnation, he will push us to evolve at all costs. Many times this appears as chaos, but there is no great change without chaos.

We currently have 5 planets in fire signs, making this Moon in credibly powerful and full of creative energy. The Sun, Venus, Mars and Mercury are all in Leo, Aquarius’ opposing sign. We also have Jupiter in Sagittarius who has just turned direct, causing massive expansion in knowledge and abundance. The Full Moon is directly in opposing Venus and Mars, the feminine and masculine counterparts.

This is drawing our attention and awareness towards both our inner feminine and masculine, and our relationship with the feminine and masculine in our lives. The masculine and feminine dynamic has long been a way the Cabal has got humanity stuck in very low frequencies. The masculine were so devoid of feeling they could not connect with the feminine, so instead they over powered them, used them and abused them. In turn, the feminine, in a desperate attempt to connect with the masculine became their lower selves. They used lust, manipulation and control to lure the masculine in. These toxic dynamics have continued for eons of time and have completely destroyed the true blueprint of the divine masculine/feminine unions.

This Full Moon will be highlighting these wounds between the masculine and feminine, as well as how us where we have not followed our hearts or where we have allowed ourselves to be kept small in fear of being who we truly are. We are now in the Age of Aquarius, the Golden Age of consciousness, knowledge and wisdom and we are to evolve or not, that is the choice.

I feel strongly the Mermaid consciousness coming through for this Full Moon. Mermaids hold Aquarius vibes~they embody the non attachment air of the Aquarius as well as the fluidity and wisdom of the water bearer. Mermaids are raw feminine energy, that is both untamed and incredibly intuitive and magical. Mermaids are divinely non attached, they literally and figuratively go with the flow, never to be held down. Because Mermaids are both free spirits and deep soul beings, they hold so much emotional depth that can reach even the most withdrawn souls, but they also are divinely intelligent and extremely creative.

They are one with the ocean, the sea creatures, the elements. There is a myth that mermaids will only show themselves to those who are in the heart, which is why they are such a rare sight. The mermaid is so empathic she is constantly absorbing the energies of others, which requires her to protect her magic at all costs.

She is both the inner child and the warrior, she is balanced harmonics. As the full moon is opposing both Venus (feminine) and Mars (masculine), we are now in a tense aspect between the false identity we have created and our inner truth. Mermaids embody the originality of the Aquarius~they are unique, mystical, ethereal, and do not conform to norms. We are all being pushed to love authentically as who we are. This is more a process of dissolving all that is NOT truly us rather than becoming something else.

Aquarius is ruled by Uranus who just went retrograde. He marches to the beat of his own drum, he lives outside the box and he is not afraid to be the weird, wild one. As matrix continues to glitch, so will our egoic masks. We can no longer hide who we are and now we have to take a deep long look at that is. What have we chosen to become? How bold are we to break through the rules and conformity? How fearless are we to rebel against the entire system ?

The dawn of a new age is here and our attachments to all that is of the old 3D system is quickly being washed away and replaced completely with the unknown. We must cut chords with our old self and boldly embrace our Higher Self, our true self. This Aquarius Full Moon is imploring us to really LET GO of all that has been, both in this lifetime and other lifetimes, and start embracing the truth that this is it. This is the ascension and final battle of darkness that will ever occur and we are to be fearless in embodying our light. The keys to our freedom are there for us to receive, we must choose whether we want to open up the door or not. This is your choice point.

*****

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[mermaidylluria]

Warning to all you mers on Tumblr out there: The purge has officially begun. My account just got flagged, and the only things I have on here are my own event photos (which are all family-friendly & fully clothed), and mermaid art (both classical and new, some of which has an LGBTQ focus- and may, at times, *gasp* in some cases feature kissing). So.. just as a heads-up, the whole Tumblog censorship hubub is a real thing. My hope was that in a page FULL of mermaids, it would be obvious what the space was about- that it was absent of pornographic or ANY kind of child-endangering content, n’ be subsequently left alone.  But it appears that’s not the case.  So now that we know mer art is going to be targeted (after all, “NEKKIT BEWBIES, ER MAH GURD!!”), I suggest we all get ready to either defend our posts (via disputing flagged content), participate in some kind of (peaceful, preferably meaningful & artful) protest, or just leave the platform all together. 'Cause this tells me that they're not only flagging classical art, they're also trying to eradicate LGBTQ content, and NONE of that is okay.  Personally, I’m going to do all 3.  Fight and dispute, while making preparations to move my space elsewhere.  Where that’ll be I’m not sure yet, but if we loose, I want a place for my mermaid stuff to go, and the demigods at Tumblr better be aware, I’m taking my decently-well-known bellydance n’ other blogs w/me too, if I’m forced to leave.

And just for my personal 2 cents on the matter?  Dear gods, not ALL of the internet has to be child friendly. XP Censorship like that happening on YouTube, Facebook & now Tumblr stifles creativity (look at channels like Glam&Gore, who can’t barely do SFX makeup anymore because she keeps getting demonetized), silences valuable artistic and minority voices, removes audiences for burgeoning creators (who, btw, may NOT be engaging in pornographic content in ANY way), and forces narrow-minded, puritanical standards of "decency" (which are by FAR the minority), over others' ability to operate successfully in that medium. This smothers decent, AWESOME things like art, science, expression and SO much more. XS  See, it’s not about the p0rn.  It’s about the CENSORSHIP.  This is the internet. It was designed to dispense and SHARE information, ideas, inspiration, fun, etc. Not be a surrogate nanny for your kids. XS

ANNNNYWAY, if you want to read more about what is and is not allowed on Tumblr now, you can visit: https://tumblr.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/231885248. (And be sure to read to the bottom, where users can find out how to appeal post & entire blog flags under the last 2 questions.)  And if you have a mermaid blog where ANY kind of toplessness is involved, note that "female presenting nipples" is distinctly mentioned, which, as I'm sure lots of you already know, directly impacts classical AND modern art- one of the few things on Tumblr that can be shared WITHOUT a copyright, as well as a TON of mermaid art, classical and otherwise. XP 

What does this mean?  Well.. in simple terms, it means that stuff like Botticelli and Picasso are no longer welcome on Tumblr.  It means that Reubens, Waterhouse and Rodin, if they have artistic interpretations of naked women in their work, cannot be shared on Tumblr.  Even though their works are featured in international museums of the highest callibur, lauded all over the world as legends of innovation, vision, unparalleled beauty, & precision, expression & creativity, and world-famed for their social and economic value.  Those.. are not welcome here now, apparently.  Meanwhile, images & videos stolen from present-day & other modern hard-working artists, photographers, cartoonists, writers and other creators from allll over the world arrre hunky-dory. XP  DaFUQ, Tumblr??? (At -least- they mention mis-attribution & non-attribution on their new guidelines now. That at least, is an improvement. X*)

But now.. let’s see how that’s directly affected my blog, shall we..?  ‘Cause, as I mentioned before, I figured surely since I didn’t actually have any pr0n on my pages, I & other mer pages should be safe, right?  BZZZZZZZT, WRONG.  After getting this e-mail (pictured above), I went through my whole blog and found the 4 posts that were "flagged" as having adult content. *rolls eyes* 

3 of them were reblogs &1 was an original post. 

2 of those posts were queer-positive modern art. 

1 was a photographic collection of pieces FEATURED IN "W" MAGAZINE, 

And the last is a piece of classical style, queer-positive art. XS 

One of the modern pieces doesn't even show nipples, just saggy bewbies COVERED with small seashells. 

The other modern-style piece was a Rackham style drawing, where the tatas are but a mere suggestion of simple lines and dots. 

One was shown in a INTERNATIONAL FRICKING FASHION MAGAZINE SPREAD, which was apparently suitable for SOMEONES' interpretation of public consumption, 

and the last only shows suggestions & curvatures of breasts! (Showing the side and outer portions of the female chest, with no nipples. XP)

-And WHY AM I HAVING TO JUSTIFY THIS???? THIS IS ART. THIS IS NOT P0RN. Again I say "WTF, Tumblr????" XS

As you can see, 3 of my posts were reblogs, so I had no means of disputing those posts.  (According to their new guidelines, the owner of the original post has to do that, and if they are found as having “inappropriate content,” there’s no further means of appeal.)   But one of them, one of the very first posts I ever made in this blog, was an original, so I was able to refute its being deemed as inappropriate.  FIrst, you have to go through allll of your posts to find.. whatever it is someone’s had issue with.  (Whether it’s a person who’s flagged it or something chosen by Tumblr’s algorithms/keyword alert systems, I have no idea.)  But they don't even bother to link you in your notification e-mail, so first you’ve gotta FIND what’s being flagged before you can repeal it.  (I didn’t even know what I was looking for at first.  They never specify.  Would it be a tiny new icon near the Edit and Share buttons at the bottom?  A wee little flag pointer, outside of the post itself..?  Do I got to my posted page n’ try to find it?  Or will it be in my Posts stream, & the whole post be red..?  Who knows?)  But eventually, after enough scrolling, I found what I was looking for.  A big red bar across the affected posts.  -And if it’s a post you can do something about, they give you a button to push on the designated "flagged" work, at the top right. After you hit the "dispute" button, you’re given a largely blank page.  In the center, you get to choose between Dispute, Cancel or Learn More.  No “tell us why you feel this should not be flagged, why it doesn’t violate our rules,” nothing.  Nowhere to speak your peace.  You just hit a button, and you’re done.  You get no say, other than “I object, your honor!”  NOT COOL, people. NOT COOL.  You clearly don’t wanna hear the voices of your content creators, or, at least, enough to allow them to speak for the work they felt appropriate enough to post..

Reading this from another media source?  Please don’t discount this issue if you don’t personally have a Tumblog.  It doesn't really matter whether you use tumble or not, whether you think it's lame or not, etc. The problem is much, much larger than that, and it’s growing.  This is another very large, social media platform that's being affected by censorship in the name of marketing- and thus, be child-friendly.  They want the whole family to be able to come and see all the ads they wanna put here, and without that, they don’t make their money.  So anything not child-friendly, even vaguely PERCEIVED as not child-friendly (by God only knows whose standards), is being wiped out from the whole platform.  Don’t believe me?  It’s happened on YouTube, on Facebook, and likely, many others.  Do some googling and check it out for yourself.  YouTube is a platform that’s being strangled by this phenomenon right this very second.  There are videos on it.  Go see. Now.  ‘Cause if we don’t educate ourselves about this n’ do something to fight it, what’s happening to YouTube is our future.  Not just here on Tumblr, but EVERYWHERE.

Big Brother isn't just watching, guys, he's stealing your open arenas for personal and creative expression, so he can better market to you & yer kids.  He wants EVERYONE to buy his Stuff.   And if the kids can’t see it here, they won’t ask mommy and daddy to go get it for them.  So out classical art, and LGBTQ content, and mermaids go.  Out the door.  (Meanwhile, who do kids love?? UM.. MERMAIDS.  HELLO!!!  What should be educating them about history and the arts?  UMM.. FINE ART, HELLO.  Who teaches them about tolerance and diversity and SO MUCH MORE?  Umm.. THE LGBTQ community!  Who teaches them about what human bodies look like, and that it’s okay to have ANY kind of body?  UM.. BODY POSITIVE ART, THANK YOU.)  

We need to put the kaibosh on this somehow, now. Not just for Tumblr, or Facebook, or YouTube. We've got to find SOME way of letting the Big Boys know this is not activity we will tolerate. 'Cause the places to freely express ourselves are going to continue to diminish, get scarcer, and fewer.. until they're all.. gone.

ART =/= PORN, YOU IGNORANT, PURITANICAL, MONEY-GRUBBING FISHTITS.  LEARN TO POLICE YOUR OWN CHILDREN, MORE EFFECTIVELY POLICE GENUINE CRIMINALS, AND LEAVE THE REST OF THE INTERNET ALONE.  Please.

♥

[thewitchwithoutvoice-blog]

Aoi Shibunuri

"If I told you about her, the princess without voice, what would I say?”

Hello everyone! First of all, thank you for taking the time to read this, I appreciate it very much. Now, allow me to introduce you to Aoi, she’s my little bean and I am looking for RP contacts and an RP FC as well. I hope this gives you all a bit of an idea of what she is like. I recently moved from Mateus here to Balmung, I did have Aoi ver. 1, but since I moved over, I wanted to start fresh. Thanks again! ^^

NAME: Aoi Shibunuri 

AGE: Twenty-Six

RACE: Au Ra (Raen)

GENDER: Female

SEXUALITY: Demisexual

DISABILITY(s)?: Yes, she is mute from birth. 

MARITAL STATUS: Single

SERVER: Balmung

physical appearance ––––

HAIR: Light brown. Slight wave to her hair. She had shorter hair but it has grown quite long since. It has reached a bit past her hips currently. Half up, half down french braid sometimes or just simply half up, half down with a long braid running down her back. 

EYES: Black, depending on lighting, they can look endless and pitch dark.

SKIN TYPE: Medium Tan(Amber) with very soft skin and bright scales. She has flecks of moles here and there throughout her body. She enjoys bathing in oils so she has a healthy glow to her skin. 

HEIGHT: Four feet Eight inches

BUILD: She has a small amount of tone to her body, a bit thin with wider hips and a full top, an hourglass figure to be precise. 

DISTINGUISHING MARKS: From head to toe, her scales are pearlescent. Her horns and tail aren’t entirely, they have flecks of luster and shine here and there. 

COMMON ACCESSORIES: Flowers, she enjoys having flowers in her hair and always seems to have fresh ones. She usually has her nails painted with rings adorning her hands. She always has one special ring she does no take off for any reason other than in her home, she was told it was her mother’s. Anklets, the prettier the chiming bells, the more skip to her step. Occasionally, she’ll wear a necklace, but not too often. She carries a satchel with medical supplies, herbs, potions, inkwells, gauze, quills and her journals. She also carries a one-handed wand on her person at all times in case of emergencies.

personal –––-

PROFESSION: Wandering healer/conjurer currently. It has been about a year and a half since she retired from the Adders as a combat medic. If she isn’t wandering, she always takes the time to visit home...Gridania. The Central Shroud is one of her favorite places to be, she’ll often mediate there, gather herbs and supplies, or enjoy being around the greenery. 

HOBBIES: Reading, her head is always in a book. Her home is filled with books, stacks here and there in messy piles. She enjoys taking care of plants, much of her home is filled with them so often she will be watering them and possibly getting more (even though she knows she shouldn’t). Aoi enjoys dancing, she can get lost in it, but it is something she does when she is alone. Aoi plays the harp as well, she learned at a young age and finds it soothing when she feels stressed or anxious. 

LANGUAGES: Common and Sign Language

RESIDENCE: Her home is a small apartment that she occasionally visits in between her wandering, she is not one for having large homes, she enjoys having a smaller space. It is filled with plants and books, in a corner, she keeps her large harp so that she can entertain guests. 

FEARS: Drowning. She never learned how to swim because she was so caught up in her studies while growing up, and whenever she was prompted to, she brushed it aside. She has other tiny little fears such as neglecting her duty of traveling around and healing and caring for others. She is not a big fan of insects such as spiders, anything creepy crawly makes her uncomfortable. Heights make her extremely uncomfortable as she can be clumsy, that and she feels dizzy being in high up places. She doesn’t like the feeling. 

relationships –––-

SPOUSE: N/A

CHILDREN: N/A

PARENTS: Both mother and father are deceased. She was raised by her aunt from a very young age of about a year old. 

SIBLINGS: She has no brothers or sisters, she grew up as an only child. 

OTHER RELATIVES: The only living relative that she is aware of, is her aunt.

PETS: She has none, but she won’t easily admit that she kind of thinks her plants as pets. 

traits –––-

extroverted / introverted / in between

disorganized / organized / in between

close minded / open-minded / in between

calm / anxious / in between (depends on situation)

disagreeable / agreeable / in between

cautious / reckless / in between (depends on situation)

patient / impatient / in between

outspoken / reserved / in between

leader / follower / in between

empathetic / unemphatic / in between

optimistic / pessimistic / in between

traditional / modern / in between

hard-working / lazy / in between

cultured / un-cultured / in between

loyal / disloyal / in between

faithful / unfaithful / in between

additional information –––-

SMOKING HABIT: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

DRUGS: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

ALCOHOL: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

possible hooks –––-

- If your character is an Adder or was associated with them, she was a combat medic for them before she retired! She will most likely approach you if mentioned, badger you if you are taking care of yourself and properly getting rest in between missions or shifts. 

- If your character is mute or selectively mute and knows sign language (or just knows sign language in general), she will automatically approach with clear excitement in her eyes and a big smile! Her main form of communication is through writing, she does not meet many who know sign language so when she does actually meet those that do, it is a shock to her, a happy one!

- She is a wandering medic, so she is always aiding those that are in need of assistance, be it healing, child birth, or a serious injury, she will approach, very worried but ready to get to work immediately. 

- These are just some thoughts I’m throwing out there, situations that I think my character would respond to, to give an idea (it’s super early and I haven’t slept..so they are not the brightest ideas). I am open-minded, if you are interested, don’t even hesitate to throw some of your ideas out there too, I would love to hear what you have to say as well! Working together to come up with an awesome hook or plot is the best part! ^^

what I’m looking for ––––

- Honestly, any kind of contacts! Be it friendships, job offers, rivalries, etc! I mentioned above that I was also looking for an RP FC so, if any of you are in need of a healer (additionally an alchemist, gotta level that up for RP purposes, same for botany), shoot me a message and give me some information about your FC and what you’re all about! 

- I mentioned that I’m an open-minded person, so if you got ideas, shoot them my way, I love seeing what people can cook up, and it helps give me an idea of what I can too depending on the person(s) that approach me (character-wise, like personalities, backstories, what sort of plot you’re informing me about and how Aoi would fit into it).

✓ Will do temporary incapacitation, temporary imprisonment, walk-ups

✓ I don’t mind doing RP that is a bit dark, I like being pushed in different directions and it’s fun to explore. Things revolving voidsent (very little knowledge of it though, if you have the patience to give me some lore tips and pointers, I don’t mind one bit), drugs/violence/alcohol/language, I don’t mind at all, as long as it comes naturally with roleplay.

- As for longterm RP, I am not too sure about it, one way to find out is talking to me about it and giving me an idea of what you had in mind (especially if they involve long-term incapacitation, long-term imprisonment, or long-term disfiguration). 

- I don’t mind lore bending at all, not one bit, as long as it isn’t anything too crazy or displaced. It is fun to be creative! So as long as it works and flows nicely with everything. 

✗ I will not do ERP or anything involving rape. I don’t at all mind having my characters naturally building a romantic relationship (comes along with roleplay, fan of slowburn sort of stuff), but ERP is not my cup of tea so I’m putting this out there now, don’t ask me later, my mind won’t suddenly change. 

oocly, I am –––

I am a fairly chill roleplayer, I enjoy in-game roleplay but I don’t mind at all if you would like to use Discord as well. It’s very convenient! I enjoy all sorts of RP as I mentioned above, if you would like fast-paced, I will do my best to keep up and adapt, I am more of a paragraph roleplayer and enjoy putting in a lot of details into my posts, but like I said, I can adapt, I’ve been roleplaying for about 11 years, I’ve been all over the place.

Don’t worry about responding to me asap or roleplaying with me constantly, like I said, I’m a laid-back person, plan with me, gush about characters and stuff, take your time. There is no rush, after all, we’re all here to relax and have fun! So if anything is troubling you, don’t hesitate to approach me about it!

I am on CST, and am usually on most of the time, my sleep schedule is all over the place so I’ll be on during the day, afternoon, night...like I said...jumpy sleep schedule. >w< 

you can contact me via ––

Tumblr Messages!

Discord: Aoi Shibunuri#4857

In Game: Aoi Shibunuri

PS: Totally didn’t nab this from my friend, @ijazrahalffxiv, *sweats*, I don’t really know where he got this template from so the mysterious template shall continue it’s journey onwards!! Thank you for your time :D

[ethanalter]

Kristen Stewart on how she turned a fixation into her directing debut and whether she'd ever helm a 'Twilight'-style blockbuster

Stewart on the Come Swim set (Photo: Lindsey Byrnes/courtesy Everett Collection)

As a child actress growing up on the sets for films like Panic Room and Catch That Kid, Kristen Stewart learned early on to pay close attention to the director behind the camera. “That’s your boss,” she tells Yahoo Entertainment about her earliest memories of watching filmmakers at work. “You look to that person for everything. When a movie is really good, it takes a lot of people’s efforts. But what starts it is something so singular with a specific perspective. Even when I was really little, I knew that my job was to listen to that [perspective] and hold it like it was precious. And even as a little kid, I was like, ‘F**k, I’d like to hold that myself one day and share it!'”

Flash-forward to the present day, and the now 27-year-old actress is sharing her own directorial debut with the world, the evocative short film, Come Swim. After premiering at the Sundance Film Festival in January, the 17-minute production is being released today as part of Refinery 29’s Shatterbox Anthology, which provides a platform to emerging female filmmakers. Starring first-time actor, Josh Kaye, Come Swim grew out of a recurring image that embedded itself in Stewart’s mind several years ago and became the linchpin for a half-realist, half-impressionist portrait of a man whose mind is plagued by memories of a failed love affair, to the point where he feels like he’s drowning even on dry land. We spoke with Stewart about how she relates to the character we see onscreen and whether she has any desire to direct a Twilight-style blockbuster.

Yahoo Entertainment: You’ve said that the idea for Come Swim originated with the image of a man sleeping at the bottom of the ocean. Where did the vision come from? Kristen Stewart: Initially, I was just fixated on the idea of a person that’s so over-aware of what’s essential to them — what they’re really in need of — but are unable to absorb it. So even at the bottom of the ocean, the most ultra-hydrated place in the world, they’re dry. When you’re in your own head, your pain and struggle seems so dramatic and unrelatable. And yet, it’s so universal! There’s any any feeling that somebody hasn’t before you. Once you’re in it, it feels all-consuming, but when you step back, you go, “What the f**k have I been doing?”

For me, the film tapped into that feeling of being mentally underwater: there’s so much buzzing around in your head, and you’re just in need of a moment of clarity. Exactly. He’s punishing himself with memories and can’t really organize them. He can’t put them somewhere easy to process. I wanted to externalize a very internal sound. When he starts out, he feels things are whizzing by him, and he can’t grab them, but they also won’t go away. It’s about waking up in the morning and going, “Wow, I’m allowed to use my mind! It’s not controlling me.” When you’re in that state, easy things seem hard.

Is there something about the modern world that exacerbates that? You place the character in settings like a busy office and the front seat of his car, where there’s a lot of stimuli. I wanted to put him in places that were normal; stripped-down environments without much detail. We don’t have much time to get to know this guy really well, so what I wanted you to focus on was your own projections of doing mundane things like getting up and going to work. But he is always cubed in: his office cubicle is small, the car is small. It’s only once he gets outside and finds the ocean that he allows himself to breath. His regrets about his relationship that have sent him into this existential crisis, and even though he hates swimming and water, he realizes he’s got to let himself float. Water is stronger than us, and if you fight it, you’re just going to f**king tire and drown. But if he lets himself look like a dork and bob around in the water, when he gets out he’ll be cold, but he’ll also realize that he’s not going to have to try and control everything.

Josh Kaye in Kristen Stewart’s directorial debut, Come Swim (Photo: John Guleserian/Courtesy of Sundance Institute)

The character’s circumstances are intended to be universal, but in working with Josh Kaye did you discover that men and women have different responses to this kind of mental state? I think there are big differences between him and I, but more on an individual level. It doesn’t really have much to do with gender necessarily. The character in the story isn’t necessarily me, but I wanted to be as close to it as I could. The main difference between us is that I’m a little bit more explosive. There are a few things in the film that I’m so excited I didn’t do myself, because he grins and bears it whereas I think I would be a little more dramatic. He’s never acted in anything before, so he wasn’t trying to prove anything to me. He was just realistically in this environment, and allowed whatever memories or ideas to stir him.

You incorporated paintings you made into the film via a process called “neural style transfer” as opposed to traditional CGI. Was that at process you had a hand in developing? No, I have a friend who works at a VFX house and she was familiar with Bhautik Joshi’s research. I spoke with her about my painting and how I wanted it to feel illustrated in the film; I wanted parts of the movie to feel like a painting. I was talking a lot about grain and how to do that, and she told me about this guy who could take a physical painting and apply that style to a moving picture. So he helped us out, but I think it was something he came up with and when the movie came out it was a good chance for him to talk about that process. I was lucky to be able to do it and take those two mediums and put them together. [Stewart is listed as a co-author of an academic paper about neural style transfer that’s on file with Cornell University.]

Stewart in Snow White and the Huntsman (Photo: Universal Pictures/courtesy Everett Collection)

Has working on big-budget movies like Twilight and Snow White and the Huntsman made you leery of incorporating CGI into your own films? Not at all. Initially, I thought I was going to need a lot of digital work on Come Swim. I had this long list of shots, but after we went out and shot everything I kept crossing them off my list during post-production, going “I don’t need that one, I don’t need that one.” We did minimal digital work, because everything we did physically was so cool. All of the make-up work on Josh was practical and worked. I really like it when you only have to use a small amount [of CGI] to patch things up and refine them. If you can get as much as you can while taking f**king pictures, that’s what looks the most immersive.

Would you ever want to do direct a tentpole film yourself or does that not hold any interest for you? Maybe, because I do like to suspend reality; not in a way that’s fantasy, but to get inside someone’s head and really feel embedded in something internal. Because a lot of times it doesn’t resemble what you’re seeing on the outside. So I think I’ll want to make small movies; I have no interest in making huge movies, although I like working on them as an actor.

One of your earliest movies was Panic Room, directed by David Fincher. Do you recall observing any part of his process on set that you held onto for your own work? That was the second movie I ever made. I was lucky to have that experience so young because it was so labor-intensive and for all the right reasons. I always want to be in movies where if you have to work tirelessly and endlessly, and if it has to hurt and you have to do it over and over again, you get something that really matters at any cost. That’s what you do — you just do f**king anything to get it. That [feeling] probably started on that movie.

Stewart and Jodie Foster in Panic Room (Photo: Merrick Morton/courtesy Everett Collection)

It certainly feels like the fans that have grown up with you through the Twilight films are embracing the work you’re doing now. Are you conscious of how they’re seeing you evolve as an artist, and do you hope they take any lessons from you as the develop their own creative voices? Yeah, of course. No one is so special as to have any kind of original thought or feeling that nobody’s had before you. But I really do follow my gut as to the things I’m drawn to artistically and hope that there will be someone out there that feels it too. For that, I’m lucky. I don’t think about the greater narrative [of my life] or alter my decisions to say things to people. But I feel that if you’re really honest about something and are exploring something that feels worth it, there will be other people interested in it, too.

Come Swim is available to watch today on Refinery29.

Watch the trailer:

Read more from Yahoo Entertainment:

‘November Criminals’: Ansel Elgort and Chloë Grace Moretz share a sweet moment in exclusive clip

‘The Greatest Showman’: Check out exclusive character posters from Hugh Jackman’s new musical

‘Thor: Ragnarok’: Your mighty guide to all the Easter eggs, in-jokes, and callbacks

[buddaimond]

by Ethan Alter. November 10, 2017

As a child actress growing up on the sets for films like Panic Room and Catch That Kid, Kristen Stewart learned early on to pay close attention to the director behind the camera. “That’s your boss,” she tells Yahoo Entertainment about her earliest memories of watching filmmakers at work. “You look to that person for everything. When a movie is really good, it takes a lot of people’s efforts. But what starts it is something so singular with a specific perspective. Even when I was really little, I knew that my job was to listen to that [perspective] and hold it like it was precious. And even as a little kid, I was like, ‘F**k, I’d like to hold that myself one day and share it!'”

Flash-forward to the present day, and the now 27-year-old actress is sharing her own directorial debut with the world, the evocative short film Come Swim. After premiering at the Sundance Film Festival in January, the 17-minute production is being released today as part of Refinery 29’s Shatterbox Anthology, which provides a platform to emerging female filmmakers. Starring first-time actor Josh Kaye, Come Swim grew out of a recurring image that embedded itself in Stewart’s mind several years ago and became the linchpin for a half-realist, half-impressionist portrait of a man whose mind is plagued by memories of a failed love affair, to the point where he feels like he’s drowning even on dry land. We spoke with Stewart about how she relates to the character we see onscreen and whether she has any desire to direct a Twilight-style blockbuster.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Q&A with Kristen:

Yahoo Entertainment: You’ve said that the idea for Come Swim originated with the image of a man sleeping at the bottom of the ocean. Where did the vision come from?

Kristen Stewart: Initially, I was just fixated on the idea of a person that’s so over-aware of what’s essential to them — what they’re really in need of — but are unable to absorb it. So even at the bottom of the ocean, the most ultrahydrated place in the world, they’re dry. When you’re in your own head, your pain and struggle seems so dramatic and unrelatable. And yet it’s so universal! There isn’t any feeling that somebody hasn’t had before you. Once you’re in it, it feels all-consuming, but when you step back, you go, “What the f**k have I been doing?”

For me, the film tapped into that feeling of being mentally underwater: There’s so much buzzing around in your head, and you’re just in need of a moment of clarity.

Exactly. He’s punishing himself with memories and can’t really organize them. He can’t put them somewhere easy to process. I wanted to externalize a very internal sound. When he starts out, he feels things are whizzing by him, and he can’t grab them, but they also won’t go away. It’s about waking up in the morning and going, “Wow, I’m allowed to use my mind! It’s not controlling me.” When you’re in that state, easy things seem hard.

Is there something about the modern world that exacerbates that? You place the character in settings like a busy office and the front seat of his car, where there’s a lot of stimuli.

I wanted to put him in places that were normal — stripped-down environments without much detail. We don’t have much time to get to know this guy really well, so what I wanted you to focus on was your own projections of doing mundane things like getting up and going to work. But he is always cubed in: his office cubicle is small, the car is small. It’s only once he gets outside and finds the ocean that he allows himself to breathe. He has regrets about his relationship that have sent him into this existential crisis, and even though he hates swimming and water, he realizes he’s got to let himself float. Water is stronger than us, and if you fight it, you’re just going to f**king tire and drown. But if he lets himself look like a dork and bob around in the water, when he gets out he’ll be cold, but he’ll also realize that he’s not going to have to try and control everything.

The character’s circumstances are intended to be universal, but in working with Josh Kaye did you discover that men and women have different responses to this kind of mental state?

I think there are big differences between him and I, but more on an individual level. It doesn’t really have much to do with gender necessarily. The character in the story isn’t necessarily me, but I wanted to be as close to it as I could. The main difference between us is that I’m a little bit more explosive. There are a few things in the film that I’m so excited I didn’t do myself, because he grins and bears it whereas I think I would be a little more dramatic. He’s never acted in anything before, so he wasn’t trying to prove anything to me. He was just realistically in this environment and allowed whatever memories or ideas to stir him.

You incorporated paintings you made into the film via a process called “neural style transfer” as opposed to traditional CGI. Was that a process you had a hand in developing?

No, I have a friend who works at a VFX house and she was familiar with Bhautik Joshi’s research. I spoke with her about my painting and how I wanted it to feel illustrated in the film; I wanted parts of the movie to feel like a painting. I was talking a lot about grain and how to do that, and she told me about this guy who could take a physical painting and apply that style to a moving picture. So he helped us out, but I think it was something he came up with, and when the movie came out it was a good chance for him to talk about that process. I was lucky to be able to do it and take those two mediums and put them together. [Stewart is listed as a co-author of an academic paper about neural style transfer that’s on file with Cornell University.]

Has working on big-budget movies like Twilight and Snow White and the Huntsman made you leery of incorporating CGI into your own films?

Not at all. Initially, I thought I was going to need a lot of digital work on Come Swim. I had this long list of shots, but after we went out and shot everything I kept crossing them off my list during post-production, going “I don’t need that one, I don’t need that one.” We did minimal digital work, because everything we did physically was so cool. All of the makeup work on Josh was practical and worked. I really like it when you only have to use a small amount [of CGI] to patch things up and refine them. If you can get as much as you can while taking f**king pictures, that’s what looks the most immersive.

Would you ever want to direct a tentpole film yourself or does that not hold any interest for you?

Maybe, because I do like to suspend reality — not in a way that’s fantasy, but to get inside someone’s head and really feel embedded in something internal. Because a lot of times it doesn’t resemble what you’re seeing on the outside. So I think I’ll want to make small movies; I have no interest in making huge movies, although I like working on them as an actor.

One of your earliest movies was Panic Room, directed by David Fincher. Do you recall observing any part of his process on set that you held onto for your own work?

That was the second movie I ever made. I was lucky to have that experience so young because it was so labor-intensive and for all the right reasons. I always want to be in movies where if you have to work tirelessly and endlessly, and if it has to hurt and you have to do it over and over again, you get something that really matters at any cost. That’s what you do — you just do f**king anything to get it. That [feeling] probably started on that movie.

It certainly feels like the fans that have grown up with you through the Twilight films are embracing the work you’re doing now. Are you conscious of how they’re seeing you evolve as an artist, and do you hope they take any lessons from you as the develop their own creative voices?

Yeah, of course. No one is so special as to have any kind of original thought or feeling that nobody’s had before you. But I really do follow my gut as to the things I’m drawn to artistically and hope that there will be someone out there that feels it too. For that, I’m lucky. I don’t think about the greater narrative [of my life] or alter my decisions to say things to people. But I feel that if you’re really honest about something and are exploring something that feels worth it, there will be other people interested in it too.

Come Swim | Shatterbox Anthology | Refinery29

[humanpursuits]

Portraits, Dreams, and Me: A Complete Beginner’s Guide to Film Photography

VANCOUVER, B.C. – In autumn 1975, Wendy Ewald embarked on a bold photographic experiment.

The Detroit native had recently relocated to rural Kentucky, renting a small house on Ingram’s Creek, in southeastern Letcher County. As Ewald tells it, in PBS’ great new documentary, Portraits and Dreams, she was the first outsider to ever move into the area. That didn’t stop her from quickly establishing ties to the community. Soon, she found herself teaching photography to the community's 4th graders.

Being the 1970’s, the children’s lessons focused solely on film photography. Ewald taught them how to compose and capture an image, but also how to develop and print it. A rare skill set for any 9-year-old, the lessons gave students a chance to express themselves in ways previously unthinkable. The resulting photographs present Ingram’s Creek with a sort of fantastical-realism. Dreams and imagination blend with everyday realities of rural living. Adult issues, such as poverty and substance use, are relegated beyond the frame, giving the students freedom to explore their own thoughts and feelings. As Ewald explains to the audience, “Having a camera gives anyone power, but especially children.”

 That's certainly been my finding.

While I would never call myself a photographer, I’ve been shooting pictures on film for over 10 years. In 2009, I purchased my first film camera, the Diana Mini, using my Urban Outfitters staff discount. Essentially a toy, the Mini served as a low-fi, low budget introduction to photography, creating colourful, high contrast images in either a square or rectangle format. The camera’s cheap parts often over-complicated what was supposed to be a simple process. Photos would turn out blurry or muddy, and Edmonton developers would struggle to properly print the unusual square format photos. At times, it felt like I was throwing money into a mini incinerator.

 It wasn’t all bad. For every two rolls that didn’t turn out, one would. The more photos I took, the more I came to understand Diana’s quirks. I learned that my best photos tended to be taken in the afternoon with plenty of light. I learned which developers were comfortable processing the camera’s unconventional format. Slowly but surely, the image in my mind’s eye started to appear in the finished product, albeit inconsistently.

In the decade since, film photography has undergone a resurgence, becoming the de facto hobby for society’s cool and cultured. Included in the film pantheon are celebrities like Frank Ocean and Kendall Jenner, the latter of whom single-handedly increased demand for the Contax T2 after showing it off to Jimmy Fallon. While their snaps have certainly helped to cultivate an air of mystique and authenticity, the true-believer in me likes to think that celebrities shoot film for the same reason anyone else would. Because it scratches their creative itch. Because it gives them a chance to make their perceptions permanent.

 Ewald’s relationship with her students is at the centre of Portraits and Dreams, but so too is the group’s relationship with the medium. Though life led them in different directions, the former students all share one thing in common: they’re still taking pictures. “Pictures, to me, it helps you hold onto your memories.” says former pupil Delbert Shepard at one point. “You’re able to pull back the good memories and let go of the bad ones.” 

With this in mind, here’s a complete beginner’s guide to film photography (with particular advice for people in Vancouver/Canada). 

Tools of the Trade

Perhaps the biggest barrier to film photography is knowing which camera to use. Having grown from uninformed novice to imperfect amateur, I can tell you the unvarnished truth: it really doesn’t matter. I shot on a Diana Mini because it was the first film camera I saw that I could afford. Your first camera could (and probably should) be different from that, but don’t let gear distract you.

In his highly encouraging book, Steal Like an Artist, writer/artist Austin Kleon explains that it’s easy to feel like a phony or an imposter when setting out into a new creative field. Learning a new skill is sometimes awkward or uncomfortable. You know what’s not awkward or uncomfortable? Scouring YouTube or Reddit for camera recommendations. But while a good Google search can alleviate discomfort, it will do you a disservice in the long run. Don’t do it. If you take one thing from this article, let it be this: the best camera is one you want to use and is, ideally, right in front of you. 

 That said, I would encourage complete beginners to start shooting with a disposable camera. The reason for this is three-fold. First, disposable cameras are cheap–for $15 you get everything you need to shoot, including the flash. Second, disposables are idiot proof. You don’t need to worry about loading film, or setting the aperture, or even taking off the lens cap. It’s literally point and shoot. Third, disposable cameras can be given to most box store photo-processing centres for development with no-hiccups or special costs. This includes big box chains like Walmart, or my personal favourite, London Drugs.

If this sounds too easy, that’s because it’s supposed to be. At this point, your only goal should be to take photos. You don’t get bonus points for suffering, or for slamming your head against the wall. Seriously. If disposable cameras are good enough for Dua Lipa, they’re good enough for you. Shoot a couple rolls, then maybe look into buying your own rig (second-hand, of course). 

Quality > quantity

Once your camera is locked and loaded, the real fun begins.

 In an earlier draft of this essay, I wrote that a benefit of film is that it tends to inject photos with a certain degree of style. I still think that’s true. Film looks different from the majority of what we’re exposed to on a given day, meaning your images will have a natural allure. But with great power comes great responsibility. Film is finite, meaning even novice photographers need to make some tough decisions.

Most crucially, what do you want to photograph? In On Being a Photographer: A Practical Guide, David Hurn argues the best photographers are “enthusiastic and knowledgeable about their subject matter” and plan ahead of the actual shooting. This applies to professional photogs, sure. But Hurn’s advice also extends to novices. He gives the example of a mother photographing their child at the beach, writing: “Eighty-five percent of all the ingredients of photography are encompassed by this single act. The mother has an intimate knowledge of her subject… She is enthusiastic in her love of the subject… Her job is simply to record the moment.” In other words, stick to what you know. Take pictures of your friends and family. Maybe try your hand at a cheeky photo-dump. Just make sure whatever you’re shooting sparks genuine interest.

 On the matter of composition, I again point to Hurn, who believes photography consists of two fundamental elements: where you stand and when you release the shutter. The former, Hurn writes, can be predetermined, but the latter is largely a matter of chance (e.g., you can stand in front of the ocean, but you can’t control when the wave crashes). Because of this, the complete beginner is better off prioritizing quality over quantity. Focus on a single subject for multiple frames, rather than trying to capture multiple scenes. If you’re really bold, try shooting everything from a single spot, and adjusting the angle of your lens as you go.

When your roll is spent, get it developed. For beginners, that means paying a visit to your local 1-hour photo, such as London Drugs (LD). When you drop off your disposable/film tell them you want to get it processed and scanned. This keeps LD from printing your photos right away. Instead, they’ll send you a link to the scans, which are Instagram-ready. Seems like a small thing, but it will keep your costs low, and get your Likes flowing sooner. You can always print any favourites from the roll using LD’s online software.

Horizon Lines

With your first set of scans back from the shop, it’s time for a cool down period. Start with some self-reflection. Divide your photos into two groups: ones that worked, and ones that didn’t. Focus on the ones that didn’t–what’s off about them? Sometimes the answer is something simple, like you needed to use the flash. In other cases, the issue isn’t immediately clear. No matter. Use this as a reference to improve your work.

 When you’re finished, try to find further sources of inspiration. In particular, bypass Instagram and invest in a high-quality photo book. Classics include Robert Frank’s The Americans, Annie Leibovitz’s Photographs, or Vancouverite Fred Herzog’s Modern Colours (photography, like most creative fields, suffers from a lack of diversity). Take heart that, at one point, these household names were complete beginners. Any notoriety occurred, because they took the first step. It’s like Delbert Shepard tells his former teacher in Portraits and Dreams: “[Photography] taught me the meaning of life and that there were no boundaries to what we could do and couldn’t do. It’s whatever we set our mind to.” 

Watch Portraits and Dreams for FREE via PBS (VPN required)

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