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wren-kitchens · 4 months ago

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this started as a little drabble for an au and suddenly it's 2k words oops

in summary, scar is a wizard who was cursed into a statue for millennia, and eventually became the 'secret keeper' because everyone would confide in it. gem was the first to ask scar how it was doing

gem must not have been paying nearly enough attention to where she was walking, because she has somehow found herself in the secret keeper's grove. not that she minds, but- she could have sworn she started walking the complete opposite direction when she left her house. either gem is way worse at directions than she thought she was, or.. well, okay, she can't actually think of another reason, but she wanted to sound spooky. maybe there's some magical fate that has led her to this very spot- or she just doesn’t know her lefts from her rights.

well, whatever reason it ends up being, gem is stood awkwardly beneath the face of the statue, its eyes shut and face relaxed as if asleep. the cracks and vines across its body looks almost like scars, and gem has to appreciate its beauty. she has, of course, heard all the myths about this statue being some- evil wizard who went around killing people left right and centre, and was eventually turned to stone as punishment. whilst she doubts these stories are anything more than fairytales, gem has to admit that it'd be pretty cool if that was actually the case.

resting against one of the stone pillars in front of the secret keeper's statue, gem looks into its face. centuries of people confiding their deepest thoughts to this stone monolith, decades of fears and secrets and accomplishments all told to the resting face of what may or may not be an evil wizard from millennia ago. it's another very interesting thing, gem thinks, about how people will reach for any sense of attachment they can get. maybe that's why the statue was created in the first place; there is something about its face that draws gem to it, in an odd kind of way.

"you know, I don’t suppose many people have asked how your day is going." gem says aloud, almost startling herself—she hadn't expected to actually say that.

unsurprisingly, the statue doesn’t respond, but something in its face looks- almost curious. is she making that up? she's probably making that up.

"I hope it's good." gem keeps talking anyway, because she honestly doesn't have anything much better to do anyway. "and if it's not, I hope it gets better."

she shifts a little on the earth, getting comfortable. in this new position, gem is instead facing another stone pillar rather than the keeper itself. "you’re a very lovely statue. I imagine it gets boring around here, but I suppose you have a lot of gossip to keep you going."

there's a kind of rustling from beside her, and she chalks it up to a bird of some sort—she is in the woods, after all. although- it might be someone else on the way to the secret keeper. that might be a little embarrassing, if they stumble across her asking a statue questions about its day.

"were you really an evil wizard, or is that just a story?" gem says idly, picking at imperfections in her nail polish.

"oh- i’d say greatly exaggerated." comes an unfamiliar voice.

gem looks up and shrieks in surprise, jumping to her feet. she immediately stumbles, almost falling flat on her face as she processes who just spoke. "you- how the-"

a figure is now across the glade from her, looking somewhat bemused as it brushes its white hair from its eyes. the shawl over its shoulders is embroidered with sunflowers, and looks as if it'd been worn for quite some time—what with the tears and holes in the fabric. scars run across every visible part of its skin, some akin to the cracks in old stone, and some resembling battle scars.

the secret keeper blinks at her from where it (he?) sits on the grass, underneath the empty gap where the statue used to be. "oh- yeah, long story." it grins, brushing itself off. "I don't suppose you've seen a pair of crutches around here?"

"I- definitely not." gem says, practically frozen in place. what in wrath- how the- the secret keeper is a person now?? "it's- are you-"

the secret keeper scoffs, and gem can’t tell if it's playful or frustrated. maybe both. "oh- they'll have taken them again, no doubt. that's fine- i'll have my revenge!" it calls to the sky, before turning back to gem. "thank you for helping me out there- they've always enjoyed playing tricks on me like that."

"what- no, I didn’t-" gem starts to say, but the secret keeper interrupts.

"how long was I stone, by the way?" it asks, offhand.

"oh." gem hesitates. "I- I don’t know how to tell you this. um- it's been a while."

the secret keeper pouts, brushing some stray stone dust from its shawl. "has it been a month again? I have things to do, y’know!"

"it's, um. it's been a thousand years, I think." gem says softly.

she expects a huge reaction—after all, if someone had told gem that she'd been stuck as a statue for millennia, she'd be pretty upset. god- she can't imagine what that would make her feel; losing everything and everyone you know to time, whilst you stay exactly the same.

the secret keeper blinks, drops the pout and shrugs. "could have been worse." it says, voice surprisingly cheery. "oh- I bet my crutches will have disintegrated, or something." it's grinning like this is funny and not just cause for an existential crisis.

"I imagine so, yeah." gem says, as if she's not about to start freaking out over literally everything that's happening right now. "you- what are you gonna do now?"

the secret keeper pauses, and gem feels a little worry in having actually stumped it. "I, uh. that's a good question."

"if you want, you can stay with me and my friend for a while?" gem suggests, hoping that joel won't mind her bringing home a reincarnated statue to live with them. in her defence, he’s done weirder.

the statue in question snorts. "I hope you're ready to be killed several times over." it grins, and gem's stomach drops. it seems to notice the look on her face and tacks on, "you guys can kill me too."

gem probably looks like she's seen a ghost, based on how the secret keeper frowns a little in concern. "I- how am i supposed to kill you if i’m dead?"

"wh- 'cause you’d come back?" the secret keeper looks as confused as gem feels. "why wouldn't you?"

"what do you mean, come back? if I die that's it." gem grins. "you’re joking, aren't you?"

the secret keeper shakes its head, less confused and more concerned. gem cannot seem to understand what's happening here. "did you- were you not given the blessing?"

"I.. don’t know what you’re talking about." gem says, smile beginning to slip from her face. "what blessing?"

"you don’t- the one that lets you regenerate?" the secret keeper says, almost frantic. when gem doesn’t show any recognition, it continues. "from- when you die? is that- how do you not know?"

gem blinks. "is that a story from when people thought magic was a thing? i’ve never heard of it before."

the secret keeper stares at her. "magic is a thing. i’m- i’m magic. I just got turned into a human from stone- what do you mean magic isn't a thing?"

"that's- yeah." gem pauses. "so- wait, why would we not have that anymore?"

"wh- I have no idea!" the secret keeper throws its arms out. "it's such a simple thing to do- you give the blessing to your baby, and then it grows with the kid! it's perfect! you don’t have to worry about exploding them with too much magic, because it's always just the right amount!"

"that is smart." gem says. "that's so weird- how has that gotten lost?" she tilts her head to the side. "I suppose it has been a thousand years."

"okay, so- I won't kill you." the secret keeper says, and gem remembers what started this whole conversation. "since apparently you guys are mortal. would I still be allowed to come with?"

"'course." gem grins. "I did suggest it. uh- how will we do this?"

the secret keeper looks at her blankly. "well. I assume we'd walk. do you not do that anymore either?"

gem snorts. "no, we do, I just- you said you had crutches. which I assume you would need."

"ohh." gem suppresses another laugh as it seems the secret keeper has apparently completely forgotten about the crutches. "yeah, that's a good point actually."

"I could try carrying you." gem says, and the secret keeper quickly covers its mouth. "what?"

"nothing!" it says, unconvincingly; gem can hear the smile in its voice. she raises an eyebrow. "well- you’re quite a bit smaller than I am."

"wh- I can carry you!" gem says, mildly offended. "i’m strong!"

"I don't doubt that!" the secret keeper says. "but I could just use my magic."

gem pauses, processing. "wait- so why do you need the crutches?"

the secret keeper grins, and it's almost uncannily sharp. did it just laugh? for some reason, it sounded too high pitched. "it's a little exhausting." it says, and suddenly the smile looks normal again. huh. "I can’t do it all the time, or i’d just- pass out. for a short time though, i'll be alright if I rest."

"you can do magic? still?" gem says, suddenly excited to see it happen. she's sure joel can make crutches for it when they get back—that won't be a problem. "how does that even work?"

the secret keeper seems a little flattered by her interest. "i can’t see why I wouldn’t. I might look a little weird though—my skin goes blue, my hair goes white, that kind of thing."

gem tilts her head. "isn’t your hair already white?"

"what?" the secret keeper's eyes widen a bit, pulling a strand of hair in front of its face to inspect. something shifts in its expression. "oh."

there's a stab of worry in gem's chest. if magic makes its hair go white and also exhausts it, what's going to happen right now? does- is there something that could happen? man, she does not know nearly enough about magic to answer any of those questions for herself.

before she can actually ask, the secret keeper just shrugs. "weird! anyway-"

it closes its eyes, apparently concentrating hard on something. the air in the grove seems to solidify, crackling with unseen energy, and gem can’t tell if she's holding her breath or if she simply can't breathe anymore. the secret keeper doesn’t react as it begins to rise off the floor, a blue sheen spreading from its fingertips throughout its whole body—scars whitening until they're essentially translucent. tattered wings unfold from its back, skin spread so thin, gem thinks a strong wind could tear them into pieces.

the secret keeper opens its eyes, and grins sharply, wings supporting its entire body. "ta da! how's that for magic, huh?"

gem laughs in delight, applauding it. what else is she meant to do in the face of that? "that was incredible! you can fly?"

"too right I can." the secret keeper beams, swelling with pride. "now, lead the way- uh. I don’t know your name, do I?"

"gem." she smiles, gesturing for the secret keeper to follow her as she begins to walk out of the clearing. "I don’t know your name either."

"well, gem, I am the one and only scar!" it announces, floating next to her. "named after my many- oh! oh- what!"

gem looks over, slightly panicked, and sees it inspecting its arms. more specifically, the scars on its arms that gem had likened to cracks in stone. "are you okay?"

"I didn’t have these before." scar says, tracing them with its finger and nearly floating into a tree as it does so. "they look like-"

"cracks?" gem suggests, and scar nods. "yeah- I think, with how long you’ve been stone.." she trails off, a better explanation escaping her.

scar seems to understand regardless, nodding. "I guess. hey, that's kinda cool." it looks back up at her, grinning again. gem has to wonder why (and how) it's so pointy. "that's a story to tell at parties!"

"I- yeah, I suppose." gem says, slightly unconvinced. she's not sure how scar has managed to completely accept everything she's told it without a single panic attack, but she isn't sure if that's a good sign. she hopes that people from a thousand years ago were just way better at processing their emotions. "I think the whole stone thing is also something to tell at parties."

"oh yeah, you guys don't have magic." scar says. it scoffs. "you must be so boring."

gem makes an indignant noise, and scar laughs. "excuse you! we're not boring. you were stone for millennia- if anything, you’re the boring one."

scar is still laughing. "you say that like you didn't just stare at me while I transformed. i’m so cool."

"okay, i'll admit, you are cool." gem grins, and scar pumps its fist.

#yippee #elven duo #geminitay #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #secret life #trafficfic #trafficblr #don’t tag as ship ty #wren writes

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domreader-headcannon-scenarios · 2 years ago

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I was thinking, so before sebastian’s heat actually kicks in his bird side (since he’s a crow demon) will start to be more noticeable. Like when he’s doing his chores he’ll find like a shiny thing and take it to his room. So if you go into his room before his heat there are a lot of shiny things just sitting there.

Yess, ok honestly I think he’d make a lil nest in his room AND your room bc he wants two nest incase you have a large clutch this season (he completely forgets humans don’t lay eggs) and he sings to you on an almost daily basis.

Crows mate for life, making him extra protective of you when his mind is clouded in his pre-heat state.

Sebastian (preheat/inhuman behavior, slight implication of breeding)

You had a long day and wanted to sleep, but your bed was COVERED in blankets, pillows, feathers and…fur? You looked closer to see there were ‘fluffy’ clothes on your bed too. Your bed had none of these on it when you woke up this morning and there’s only one person who has access to your room!

“Sebastian!”

You shouted, intentionally sounding more upset than you actually were to get him to hurry to your side. Unsurprisingly he was standing beside you in a moment. “Yes Master? What’s wrong?” You gesture to the bed and Sebastian gives you a blank stare in response.

“Why is my bed covered in rubbish?” You huff out, walking over to your drawer, removing your necklace and rings, placing them ontop of the drawer, you weren’t gonna wear em to sleep. When you turned around, you saw Sebastian staring at the bed, looking a little offended by your remark.

“It’s not rubbish, it’s to soften the nest. It also helps retain heat so the eggs won’t get cold.” Sebastian says, turning back to you with a smile. You scowl back at him.

“Nest? Eggs??? What the hell are you talking about? Are you planning on getting chickens? Why would we keep them in my bed?” You shove the ‘rubbish’ off your bed and get onto it. “We are not turning my bed into an incubator!”

When you looked back to Sebastian, he’s glaring at the spot on the floor where you shoved his ‘nest’. He looks back to you with a crestfallen look. “They aren’t pets, they’d be our children…” You give him a confused look. You hear a low growl escape him when you start to pull apart the ‘nest’ on the floor. You feel an arm wrap around your waist and you’re pulled off of your own bed.

Before you can protest you’re placed in a chair and Sebastian is re organizing the nest, this time putting it on the edge of your bed. Sebastian turns to you, picking you backup and tucking you into your bed. You had enough room to sleep with the ‘nest’ in your bed, but it was less than comfortable.

Fuck it, you’ll sleep somewhere else tonight. Why not the couch? Haven’t slept there in a while, maybe it’s comfier than you remember?

You got up, walking back to your drawer, not taking your eyes off Sebastian. You go to grab your necklace from the drawer, but you felt nothing when your hand landed on the drawer. You look away from Sebastian to see that the jewelry you had half hazardly left on your drawer was gone…

“Sebastian.” You glared at him. “Where is my jewelry?” Sebastian huffed as if he was annoyed. “What are you upset about? It’s my jewelry!” You hiss at him, turning to face him only to see he’s five feet from your face.

“Oh Master…I apologize I grabbed it when I walked in here.” He holds out his hand, delicately handing it to you. “It was just so tempting to take it, my bad.”

You grabbed it from him and paused, staring up at Sebastian. “What the actual hell is wrong with you? You’ve never done this shit before but now you feel the need to act up?”

Sebastian gave you an innocent smile, lowering his head a bit. “But where will we keep our eggs if we don’t keep them here? We can protect them better here.” He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you towards the bed.

You hiss at him. “I don’t know what you are talking about! Eggs go in the fridge, we,” You gesture between the two of you. “Don’t, and won’t have any eggs, understand?”

He looks surprised by your response and grumbles out something before speaking to you again. “But…it’s the best time to have them, besides-“ He pauses , shaking his head. “Oh that’s right, humans don’t go into heat, it’ll just be me…”

#black butler #black butler x you #black butler x y/n #black butler x reader #Sebastian Michaelis #sebastian x you #sebastian x y/n #sebastian x reader #sfw #pre-heat #fluff #monster fluffer #inhuman behavior

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lonelywretchjervistetch · 3 months ago

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The State Birds Initiative: New Jersey (#3)

Welcome to the third official poll of the State Birds Initiative! Before the poll, though, one thing real quick. My suggestion is that you read the post below before voting in the poll below. That's especially important if you're lacking any context about the birds being presented as the new (or old) State Bird of the Garden State, New Jersey. This is to be fully informed as to why these are being presented, and to make your choices appropriately. Lastly, some of these birds, you will notice, may go against some of the rules listed in the introduction post. All is explained after the jump where the explanations are, I promise you that. But with that...OK! Here's the poll! If you'd like to see the last post, check out Pennsylvania (Poll | Results)

So, with that done...New Jersey.

OK, I'll be honest, I have very little history with New Jersey. Only been there a few times, I've driven through it a decent number of times, and I mostly know it by reputation. But, uh...for whatever reason, every trip I take that requires me to go through New Jersey, NJ is the worst driving portion of that trip. Basically every time. Maybe that's a New Jersey turnpike problem, maybe that's unhappy coincidence. Hell, maybe it's conservation bias from being a New Yorker (upstate, but I've gone to the city regularly throughout my life). Or maybe it really is cultural reputation for New Jersey trickling in to my subconscious (looking at you, Jersey Shore). But either way...I have complicated feelings about New Jersey.

But this post is NOT about my personal geographic experience. Mostly. It's about birds! So, let's get into New Jersey objectively. Third state admitted into the union, state capital is Trenton, largest city is Newark, and it's the most densely populated state in the country. Famous for being the origin of electricity in civic infrastructure, as well as the home of their favorite son, Thomas Alva Edison. Which...when you learn more about the guy, makes you wonder about New Jersey as a whole. MOVING ON! It was a major staging point in the American Revolutionary War, and ever since, it's been all about freedom. Even though you can't pump your own gas there. Although, to their credit, the Statue of Liberty is actually technically in New Jersey waters. Yeah. That's absolutely true. But, like...it's spiritually a New York landmark, so we'll let it slide.

Now, here's the thing about New Jersey, seriously and truly. It has a bad reputation because of media and New York City. This is for two more specific reasons, from what I can tell. One, the New Jersey Turnpike sucks, and it smells like raw sewage due to its proximity to industrial factories and processing plants. And unfortunate way to experience the state, and the main way I've experienced New Jersey personally. So, that's one, and it's not indicative of the state's quality. Number two is simply the fact that it's a hub for commuters, with lots of people going to either NYC or Philadelphia for work. Because of that, Jersey itself gets pieces of their cultures combined, which also makes it a very easy target with a unique accent. So, not Jersey's fault.

In reality, it's quite a nice state with more natural area than you'd expect for somewhere so densely populated. New Jerseyans, unsurprisingly love their state...and aren't big fans of tourists, from discourse I see online. It's a small state, which makes it crowded enough. Plus, there are tourist attractions there. There's the massive American Dream Meadowlands mall, there's MetLife Stadium, there's Six Flags Great Adventure, there's...Trenton. Actually, no, Trenton sucks, I stand by that assessment. But it's also a highly diverse state, with the highest proportion of Hinduism followers in the country, as well as the densest collection of LGBTQ+ social centers (AKA gayborhoods), amongst other things. NJ does deserve more credit.

Now with that said, let's talk about the natural world of New Jersey, because there is a surprising amount to talk about. 45% of the land is covered in mixed deciduous-coniferous forest, which you've probably noticed is typical of the NE USA. Oak is our primary tree here, which is also probably why Northern Red Oak (Quercus rubra) is the state tree. It also has some major ecological features that are well known for its natural advantages. Cape May is a seaside city and vacation resort, but also one of the most well-known and important sites for birders from the United States during migration seasons, making it immediately prominent for this post. Great Swamp NWR in the north is the first wilderness area ever designated by Congress, and also serves as a major refuge for birds during the breeding season for various reasons. And maybe most importantly, the New Jersey Pine Barrens are the largest remaining pine barrens in the NE USA, and act as a bastion of diversity. More on this later, I promise; there's a species entry dedicated to this unique environment.

And that's not all to talk about here. NJ's environment needs some focus for a number of reasons, not least of which being that the state has more toxic waste dump sites than any other state in the Union, which are the focus of the federal Superfund environmental remediation program. Yeah, there's some cleanup that needs to happen in the state, especially as it is so small. Of 150 federally listed sites, only 35 have been cleaned up since the 1970s. So, yeah. We should get on that, please. But with that said, NJ has relatively low carbon dioxide emissions compared to other states, they're seventh in solar power, and get most of their electricity from natural gas and nuclear power. So, it's a greenish state that could be a lot greener.

There's a lot to talk about for such a small state, it would seem. Let's not linger about, and let's get on with the show here! I'm honestly kind of excited. Birds after the jump!!!

American Goldfinch (Spinus tristis)

Let's kick things off by talking about the incumbent, the American Goldfinch (Spinus tristis). Now, why was the American Goldfinch chosen as the State Bird of New Jersey in 1935? Easy answer: favoritism. The bird was nominated as the only candidate by the New Jersey Audubon Society because...it was their mascot at the time. Yeah. That's it. In reality, the New Jersey State Bird is the New Jersey Audubon Society. And even then, it's officially lost its relevancy, because that's not their mascot anymore. More on that later.

What's actually worse about the goldfinch here is...for some reason, not a lot of New Jerseyans have actually seen them. Part of the reason for this entire series, by the way is this Reddit post, which stoked the fires that had long been simmering deep within my soul. OK, not that deep, but still. Anyway, the header of that post is that the OP had barely ever seen an American Goldfinch, despite being a native. I thought that was insane (and said as much in my comments), because this is a ridiculously common bird, especially for birdwatchers. But, uh...I've looked into since then. And only 0.4% of its global breeding population resides in the state. What's crazy is, this is a common sentiment amongst New Jerseyans. They just...haven't seen this bird. And obviously, that/s not every new Jerseyan, and a lot have reported seeing it. But to be honest...is this bird really worth being called the State Bird of New Jersey?

OK, can we make the American Goldfinch make sense in retrospect? Let's see, they're a highly social finch species throughout the year, living in dense colonies in the spring and summer especially. The males are late breeders with ornate flying displays meant to attract females, and may group territories with other males to defend against predators. And they're an open secondary growth forest specialist that live in the state year-round, including during the breeding season. Which means...well, actually, it means that they're perfectly suited to live in New Jersey, funnily enough.

Hear me out here. There are two things that goldfinches love most: forest clearings and weeds. New Jersey may be 45% covered in forest, but it does have deforestation as a minor problem around its settlements. However, that's not a problem for the goldfinch, who thrives in secondary growth forests that occur as a result of succession. Given an attempt in recent decades to recover New Jersey's forests, this means the goldfinch is a potential symbol of these efforts. Plus, its love of the seeds that come from flowers that are pest plants, like dandelion, thistle, ragweed, and cosmos, make it a potentially attractive bird for gardeners of the state to attract, especially as those plants thrive in open fields during stages of succession!

...YES I'M STRETCHING MORE THAN AN AUSTRALIAN BREAKDANCER WITH A DOCTORATE TRYING TO MAKE A POINT, BUT WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS MASCOT OF AN ORGANIZATION NAMED AFTER A SLAVE-OWNER???

So...moving on.

Clapper Rail (Rallus crepitans)

While the majority of natural New Jersey is covered in forest, it still has a fairly important habitat in the form of the saltmarsh. Just to get the definition in place early, a saltmarsh is essentially what it sounds like: a vegetation-dominated coastal biome with salt and brackish water, salt-tolerant grasses and plants, and the animals that depend on such. They're coastline preservers, trapping and binding sediment as it makes its way to and from the ocean, and acting as a major supply for the food web along the coasts. They're incredibly important habitats, and this will not be (and have not been) the last time you've seen them during the State Birds Initiative.

Now, obviously, these habitats are chockful of birds. New Jersey has a few major salt flats along its coast, all of which shelter some major breeding populations of birds. One of these species is the Clapper Rail (Rallus crepitans), which is our eBird-sponsored pick of this poll. Clapper Rails have 13% of their global population in New Jersey saltmarshes, meaning they're quite dependent on this unique habitat, and most of their population breeds in the state. Some people may never have seen or heard of a rail, but in case you're one of those people, just know that they're a smaller semi-aquatic relative of cranes. If you've seen a coot, moorhen, or gallinule, then you've seen a rail! And the Clapper Rail is a crustacean-eating, saltmarsh-loving, new Jersey-dependent example. And that said...it is kinda boring looking to the average person.

Don't take me wrong! For me, this bird is fantastic, and would actually be a lifer for me, personally. But the average non-birder? Look, in instances like this, I usually tap into the part of my brain my fiancee lives in rent-free, and all I can hear is her shouting "LONG DUCK LONG DUCK" over and over. I love these guys, but I'm not sure they'd resonate with the public. Plus, as far as saltmarshes go, these are good representatives, but I'm not sure they're the best. Are these a good New Jersey representative? Possibly, since they represent a major ecosystem in the state, and that is important. But I'll leave that question to you all. Moving on!

Cape May Warbler (Setophaga tigrina)

OK, onto the category of birds that are named after the state, and New Jersey has one of those! The Cape May Warbler (Setophaga tigrina) is so-named because the first specimen described by Alexander Wilson was collected in Cape May, New Jersey by George Ord. That said, it's certainly a unique warbler, easily recognizable, and dependent upon conifer forests dominated by spruce, which the Pine Barrens are...not. Still, an iconic bird in New Jersey! Except...wait, hold on...ah. It doesn't breed in the state. In fact, after it was described from a Cape May specimen, it wasn't seen in the area again for...a century. So...yeah, it's named after a major location in the state, known for birds at that, and yet it's barely found there?Love this bird, but...maybe think about renaming it one of these days.

Pine Warbler (Setophaga pinus)

Now, the Pine Warbler (Setophaga pinus), on the other hand, that's a better warbler representative of New Jersey. Well, sort of. To be fair, the Pine Warbler only has 1% of its global breeding population in New Jersey, so the state isn't a bastion or reservoir for the species. However, there is a major reservoir of the species in the New Jersey Pine Barrens, which I'd mentioned earlier. And hey, Pine Barrens, Pine Warbler...slam dunk for representation of the habitat right there. And yeah, that's absolutely relevant to the species as a whole. They live, eat, and breed in pine-dominated forests, exactly like (and including) the Pine Barrens. It's actually listed as a "Significant Congregation" species by the New Jersey Audubon Society.

And as for making a good State Bird of New Jersey? It's a notable bird, even keeping the goldfinch's yellow with white wing bars. It's not terribly difficult to find, especially during the breeding season in areas like the Pine Barrens. And hey, they're even well-known to live with other species, making them an important biodiversity indicator for conservation purposes. Plus, if people go out to look for the Pine Warbler in the wild, they'll likely encounter other species like the Blackburnian Warbler (Setophaga fusca) or the Tennessee Warbler (Leiothlypis peregrina), amongst others. Fostering interest in birdwatching by chance! It works in a conservation sense...but I don't know that it's particularly emblematic of New Jersey, to be fair.

Northern Harrier (Circus hudsonicus)

Now, here's an interesting choice! If the current State Bird, the American Goldfinch, was chosen because it was the mascot for the New Jersey Audubon Society at the time, then by that logic, their current mascot should actually be the State Bird of New Jersey. And so, in that case, may I present to you the current mascot of the NJ Audubon Scoiety, and the next candidate for State Bird...the...is that a Northern Harrier (Circus hudsonicus)? Yeah, looks like it, and some sources I have confirm that's the case. But, uh...why?

Let me be really clear about something first off: I adore the Northern Harrier. Also caleld the marsh hawk, they're a beautiful raptor native to brackish and salt mashes, as well as grasslands and fields, hunting small mammals, insects, and the occasional bird. They're one of the few accipiters that are silent fliers, ambushing prey from above like owls. They even have the disc-like face. They're one of the new North American raptors with sexual dimorphism (the smoky gray male is pictured above, as compared to the brown females), and their iconic coloration has given them the nickname of the Gray Ghost. WHICH IS BADASS. They're also one of the only polygynous raptors, meaning a male can mate with several females in a given season, nesting on the ground and hatching chicks. Because of their unique relationships, some indigenous peoples see them as a symbol of healthy marriage. Finally, these are considered good for agriculture, as they eat rodents and not chicken. I love harriers, they're super neat birds, and it's always a pleasure to see them in the wild. Also, they DROWN THEIR PREY!!! What the hell! That's terrifying!

OK, harriers are cool, but do they have a relevance to New Jersey outside of being the logo of New jersey Audubon? Well...they do breed there...barely. But they've been observed doing so, so that counts. They represent key habitats in the state of New Jersey, so that's great. Their certainly charismatic enough (GRAY GHOST), and they've got nationwide conservation concern as an endangered species. So, it has those qualities going for it as the State Bird candidate. We'll see what the poll says. In the meantime, let's move on!

Laughing Gull (Leucophaeus atricilla)

Y'know, my original plan was to put the Ring-billed Gull (Larus delawarensis) in this list as well...and then, I stumbled upon a fun fact. The black-headed cousin of the Ring-billed Gull, and Laughing Gull, is a regular traveler to New Jersey, and in fact has a colony right off of the Jersey Shore, making them a fairly well-known and recognizable resident of an iconic area of the state. But pretty importantly, the species has a pretty massive breeding population in New Jersey. 5% of the breeding population of the species are in southern NJ, which isn’t the bulwark of their breeding population in the USA (that'd be Louisiana, according the eBird Status and Trends), but it's still a significant portion.

That said, the Laughing Gull is a recognizable member of the New Jersey shore community, and I mean the term "community" in multiple contexts. Ecologically, they're omnivorous scavengers that are well-adapted to living in a densely populated state, as well as in saltmarshes and other coastal environments throughout New Jersey. Sociologically, they hang around human settlements so much that they see opportunities in human hands...literally. The Laughing Gulls of the Jersey Shore are pretty notorious for stealing food out of the hands of beachgoers and boardwalk visitors. There are even boardwalk restaurants with signs saying they won't offer refunds if your food is stolen by a gull. They're SO notorious, in fact, that falconers have been hired to use their falcons to drive away these birds. And honestly...that's a shame. After all, the Laughing Gulls are such prominent citizens that humans have had to adjust to them.

But that said...I'm gonna quote Brian Donahue, the reporter at the end of the video/new report I linked to above...because it's hilarious, and it makes an interesting statement that I think people from New Jersey should think about. Read the quote, but trust that I have a somewhat well-thought out idea supporting it.

Derided as "flying rats" by many, I think it's time to reconsider the Laughing Gull, because if things haters say about Laughing Gulls (they're loud, feisty, there's too many of them... (Interviewee Kathy McCarey): They're rude...they're very demanding...and they come for what they want...I don't like 'em.) ...are the same things haters often say about New Jerseyans. Laughing Gulls are us. They deserve more respect.

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Look, as extremely funny as that point is...there's a point about that statement. That is something that people say about New Jerseyans! They live in a state full of garbage, they're obnoxious and loud, all of that kinds thing. And New Jerseyans love their state as much as anybody else; SO MUCH, in fact, that many people online say they actually love that stereotype, because it means that people STAY OUT OF THEIR STATE. Funny or not, true or not...there's a point there. Laughing Gulls, as with all gulls, have a bad reputation, which is mostly undeserved. They're opportunists trying to feed themselves and their young, who see a smorgasbord of food right in front of them, in their neighborhood! In their place, what would YOU do? Honestly, these guys are a solid contender for that reason alone.

Plus, honestly...it's kinda funny.

Saltmarsh Sparrow (Ammospiza caudacuta)

Finally, let's look at the conservation focus for this post: the Saltmarsh Sparrow (Ammospiza caudacuta). So, this is a pretty big one, especially when looking at New Jersey. A full 32% of the species' global population breeds in this state, which is, frankly, a MASSIVE proportion of any species. What's more, they're considered an endangered species, which immediately makes this an impressive contender for the State Bird of New Jersey. And as one of the most endangered species in the Eastern USA, not to mention a species of immense scientific interest for ecological and genomic reasons, this bird should get some attention by the public and federal government.

However...and this is a point to be made here...it's not exactly the most iconic bird for non-birders. As a birder who would kill to get this on his lifelist (I AM WORKING ON IT, LITERALLY TOMORROW AS I AM TYPING THIS), this is a prominent bird within certain communities. And to others? Ugh, this is gonna hurt me to say, you have no idea, but...it's a sparrow. It may be a little harder for people to become attached to a sparrow, and even more difficult for people to recognize the Saltmarsh Sparrow specifically.

Don't believe that this matters? Do me a favor, bird people. Show your non-bird friends Bird A, Bird B, and Bird C. Ask them how many different species you showed them. I'm willing to bet the especially observant will say 2. The less observant are gonna say 1. And throw in these top two pictures, while you're at it. I'm willing to bet you'll still get a 2 or 3. Because, unfortunately, to many people, sparrows all look pretty similar. And going forward, that's something we'll have to keep in mind: a unique appearance. What makes a bird iconic is also in its uniqueness and identifiability. And sure, maybe I'm not giving the average person enough credit, but we're also talking about children. I've said it before and I'll say it many times over: kids are important targets to consider when choosing natural State Symbols. And I really don't know how many adults could tell the difference between some sparrows, even professionals. And, uh...the Saltmarsh Sparrow is a very important example of this, because it wasn't even a species until the '90s.

Oh, and kudos to those of you who caught on immediately to my little trick up there. Probably a good amount of you noticed it, but if you didn't...there are five species of sparrows shown in this post. The two birds pictured in the post? Different species. Yeah, hearing that now makes that more obvious, but you may not have noticed it immediately. The first bird pictured is indeed the Saltmarsh Sparrow. The second bird, however, is the Nelson's Sparrow (Ammospiza nelsoni), which was once considered the same species as the Saltmarsh Sparrow. Dirty question, I know, but it's also found in New Jersey. Not a breeder there, but it's enough to cause a bit of confusion. See what I mean?

Oh, as for the rest, Bird A is LeConte's Sparrow (Ammospiza leconteii), Bird B is a Savannah Sparrow (Passerculus sandwichensis), and Bird C is a Grasshopper Sparrow (Ammodramus savannarum).

Please understand, bird-peeps: I hate making this argument. Genuinely. The New World sparrows are a wonderful group, and a really fun one to play around with and hunt down as a birder. And don't worry, sparrows will be getting a mention in my personal list. But as for the State Bird? I'll let you all decide.

And with that, that's the end of this post! I miss any big ones? Make any leaps a bit too big? Feel free to let me know! In the meantime, stay tuned for State #4 - Georgia! Wait...wait, the fourth state to be admitted into the Union was Georgia? Huh. Go figure.

See you next time, and happy birding!

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moodybluezzz · 6 months ago

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Deidara NSFW Alphabet (18+)

[I've never done one of these before and proofread at 2am so hopefully this isn't a dumpster fire. Warning for NSFW content under the cut.]

[Word count: ≈1.3k]

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Deidara gets very sweet and mellow after sex. In fact, it seems like that's the only time he doesn't have an explosive amount of energy. He'll wipe the sweat from his forehead and ask you if you're okay with a satisfied smile. If you're not completely wiped out he'll cuddle and talk to you until you fall asleep with your head resting on his chest. He's not gonna want to budge so cleanup usually waits until the morning after. He prefers admiring the mess you made together anyway.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Deidara's favorite part of his own body is, unsurprisingly, his hands. He knows he's skilled with them because of his art, and having two extra mouths is a blessing in bed that no one else has. His favorite part of his partner is their face. He loves admiring your features and expressions as he toys with you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Deidara tends to finish quickly and usually pulls out so he can cum on your body, whether it's your back, thighs, face, or wherever else he can make a mess of. “My best masterpiece yet~”

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Deidara doesn't give a damn about getting walked in on and secretly likes showing off what's his. (Plus, seeing the priceless reactions of the rest of the Akatsuki is just a bonus.)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Deidara is barely experienced, if at all. He's young and too caught up in the Akatsuki to have dabbled in relationships very much. Luckily his natural confidence and dexterity make up for the inexperience.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

I don't see Deidara as the type to do gymnastics on the regular. His favorite position is probably missionary, since he gets to see your reactions and admire you up close. If he's feeling dirty the worst he'll do is doggy style so he can pull your hair and be a little more dominant.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Deidara is absolutely the type of person you can joke with, or hold a conversation with, during sex. Although he takes his relationship and intimacy seriously, he likes to have fun so it's never too intense.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Deidara is just about as hairy as any average guy, but it's not very noticeable because of his light, blonde hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Deidara isn't the most romantic guy ever, but when he's alone with you his intimate side is on full display. This is especially clear in how careful he is not to hurt you. He balances showing you that he cares and keeping the mood light so you can both have fun.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Deidara jerks off a lot, usually before bed or when he's bored. And yes, he uses the mouths on his hands for extra pleasure. (Can you blame him?) He'll imagine his partner’s pretty face going down on him as he licks along his own length.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Sorry but Deidara just isn't that kinky, unless you count him using his hand-mouths on you. He's not a full-blown exhibitionist, but he does also enjoy the thrill of fucking in places he could get caught.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

In his room at the Akatsuki base, and it doesn't matter whether anyone else is home or not. The place may be cluttered with art supplies but he makes room for you quick. He also once tried having some fun with you on the back of his clay bird, out in the open night sky. It was a little scary at first, but you had to admit it was exciting.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Deidara likes someone who can match his energy - seeing you have fun or marvel at his latest work is enough for him. He's also a sucker for a bit of praise and some clever pickup lines about art and explosions.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sorry sadists, the man said himself that he isn't into BDSM. He absolutely won't do anything that seriously hurts you or leaves marks on your body, aside from some light hickeys. He sees it as ruining a masterpiece.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Deidara is the KING of giving head - he was blessed with three mouths and you'd best believe he's gonna use them. He'll eat you out while the mouths on his hands lick along your sensitive inner thighs, or kiss you passionately while he reaches down and lets his other mouths go to town.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Deidara's movements are quick and shallow. He just prefers it rough and fast. His last few thrusts are always a bit slower as he takes in how you look as you finish, though.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Deidara will never turn down a quickie, even if you just wrapped up a mission and you have to sneak away and find a hidden spot to have some fun. He'll probably end up having more quickies than longer sessions when he's busy with missions, but that doesn't mean he won't take his time pleasing you when you're back at the base.

R = Risk (are they open to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Deidara is probably the most risky out of everyone in the Akatsuki. He can't help but get off on the thrill of fucking in “public” places or when the rest of the team is around, and he doesn't stress much about getting caught either. Unfortunately Deidara is also not the most discreet and Tobi has definitely stumbled upon some unholy things while looking for him.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Deidara could go for more than one round if he really wanted to, but most of the time he's satisfied with one round and just wants to relax afterward.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Doesn't own any toys of his own but definitely isn't opposed to using them with you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

The lovable asshole that he is, Deidara teases pretty often, mostly verbally or with his tongues. However, he gives in pretty quickly and gets right to the fun part.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Deidara is very vocal and not ashamed about it whatsoever. He doesn't hold back on moaning and loves talking dirty as he fucks you. Some of the Akatsuki have definitely gotten pissed at him for keeping them up at night.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Might be down for a threesome with someone else in the Akatsuki? 😳

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

About average with more length than girth, plus a faint trail of blonde hair leading down to it ;)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Deidara's sex drive is high, but not to an unbearable extent. He's young and full of passion, but he equally enjoys spending quality time with his partner as well, so most of your time together is spent pretty innocently.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Deidara is pretty full of energy and never falls asleep immediately after sex. Sometimes he'll stay up for a short while to spend more time with you, and other times he'll jump up and run to his desk, getting straight to work on some new art project that he thought up.

#deidara #naruto shippuden #naruto fanfiction #akatsuki #deidara x reader #naruto smut

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fatuismooches · 10 months ago

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Post illness fragile reader fluff - Dottore teaching you how to use a wind glider again. Because even the almighty Harbingers need to use wind gliders. Before your arms weren't strong enough to keep yourself suspended in the air. But after a lot of begging and precaution, Dottore would let you cling to him as you two flew in the air. Now is it safe for two people to be using one wind glider? No of course not, but this is Il Dottore we're speaking about. He definitely modified it or even made his own version.

Surprisingly to others, he's very patient with you. Unsurprisingly to you, he's very patient with you. Wind gliding takes more effort and strength one may realize. And so he's not going to push you hard especially since you were still in the recovery phase. But even when you get frustrated by your lack of ability he somehow knows what to say to soothe you into trying once again. It would start from very low heights and gradually increase. And of course, he'd make sure your wing glider matches your aesthetic.

Two birds, back in the sky together, where they belong.

#smooches talks #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #inspiration for this came from a commission in mondstadt #like i feel like its one of those things no one thinks about...

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felassan · 5 months ago

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Just poring over some of the new images. ◕‿◕

Docktown, Minrathous (in the daytime, in contrast with the gameplay reveal video), reminding us that Minrathous is built on an island. maybe the magic-monorail-looking bridge here is actually the single bridge that goes to Minrathous, like in the lore?

Docktown is the home of Neve. the distinctive floating building is in the distance again. compared to Ferelden, the buildings in Minrathous are like another planet entirely! Tevene architecture/design is so hostile - spikes on chairs, spikes on the sides of buildings.. I wonder if the doorway here is the entrance to the tavern/bar here [second image]. if you look in the window to the left of the door, the figure on the right could be the 'bouncer' at the top of the steps in the bar image. also, outside of here are tables and barrels, like you might expect outside a tavern establishment.

I'm curious about the heraldry of the boat in the harbor with the blue unfurled flags. it reminds me a bit of this Fereldan heraldry, but the animals are the wrong way round and it isn't quite right. either way, the heraldic animal is also present as the prow of that boat and one other.

Elf Rook (either City or Dalish but without vallaslin applied in CC), Emmrich and Harding. Rook is a sword-and-shield warrior here, Veilguard symbol on their chest plate, Warden symbol on their shield. Maybe this Rook has the Grey Warden background? anyways, looking closely at Rook's chest plate here, with the gray metal armor, the purple Veilguard symbol on the left, the 'bandolier' of three brown leather pouches across their chest, and the diagonal lines on the plate going the other way, it looks like maybe this Rook is wearing the same 'iconic[?] Rook outfit' as in the key art, or at least the torso piece. They both also have the metal shoulder plates, purple fabric over the elbow area, brown leather gauntlet etc. It's just that in this screenshot Rook isn't wearing a helmet/hood (or has them toggled off in the Options menu? ^^). anyways, I love that purple seems to be the 'iconic[?]' color for Rook, and also look at how this long-haired Rook's hair flows and sits around their neck and shoulders! and again the detailing is cool, like scratches on the shield and stuff.

Harding's arrow is glowing. Is her bow or arrow enchanted or have some kind of stat buff, or could this be an example of her magical powers in action, like her tarot card art might suggest? also, we can see from the tall skeleton/undead statues in the background and the skull-lid vases in the foreground that this shot is from the Necropolis.

The groupshot at HQ is so [cat crying screaming].. 🥺🥺 I love it so much, with the round table it has like Knights of the Round Table vibes or something and it's so nice to see everyone together and in their casual outfits too. I hope there are lots of moments like this in the game. ^^ Davrin is whittling wood, something that reminds me of Halsin and my Inquisitor (who is Dalish, and also had that hobby). Did some people.. bring their chair of choice to the meeting room hh? Davrin's looks like it was carved from a tree stump. Harding and Neve have a comfy sofa. Emmrich's looks kind of gothic and Nevarran. Taash's stool [?] is gold and practical-looking.

Taash looks so bored hhh. here we can see Bellara without her magical gauntlet. Do you think Manfred and Assan come to the team meetings..? :D Lucanis has impeccable tailoring, with lil bird-skull looking buttons at his collar. he's buttoned right up and professional looking even in his casual downtime, even when some of the others are the opposite. unsurprisingly his casual clothes have that blue-black corvid feather sheen. surely he has coffee in his mug. ^^ I wonder what Neve's drink of choice is though? from the way Lucanis leans here, do you think Lucanis and Emmrich is one of the companion-companion relationships that might develop like Taash and Harding?

Harding looks so cute and cozy on the couch with the cushion and her slippers, I can't take it. and I really love Neve's casual look with her scarf and hair like that!!

I think this scene is probably from the Lighthouse. Game Informer mentioned that it had a library, which is the central area of the The Lighthouse, and that it's there the party will often regroup and prepare for what’s next. Could this be one of those moments in there? ^^ in the background are stacks of books, and books on shelves, like a library would have. on the table is an assortment of scrolls, maps, papers. you can see a feather quill pen and red wax seals. having the maps in front of Davrin, a Warden and monster-hunter who has probably travelled far and quite a lot, is a nice touch. some of the books look quite ornate and arcane-ish, and are there a few of the 'Bellara'-style triangles on the table as well? and what do you suppose is the blue diamond-looking thing with white veins on the table?

(I'm also curious what the golden thing in the top right is.)

we can tell from the way it looks but we also know from a file name that this is the Rivain Coast. it's beautiful, it looks so bright and hot, the water is so blue. we first saw this locale in the Thedas Calls trailer from Dragon Age Day 2023. again, in the distance, we can see that statue.

From a file name, this is Arlathan Forest. everything is suffused in soft golden light, almost whimsical and Fable-like the Game Informer piece said. this shot is framed with those familiar trees with orange foliage e.g one, two, three. this place reminds me of some of the elvhen ruins we got to see in Trespasser. in the top right is green Veil/Fade shenanigans. a place where the Veil is weak, or the edge of this particular Veil bubble? past the wall of green it looks like some of the buildings are broken thanks to the warping, and there are floating rocks.

and look closely at some of the assets -

there's an owl, which are associated with Falon'Din and Andruil. lots of those howling Fen'Harel wolf statues. they look just like they do in DA:I (I don't mean that they look bad graphically or old or anything, just that the details are the same!!) which is awesome for consistency (also cool to see these return, so many of the art assets in DA:I were rly cool), and might even be the same assets being re-used (which is sensible and sensical for game design, something Mark Darrah talked about before). nb, just in case, I'm not saying this as a comment against asset re-use, it makes sense to do and I was excited to see these DA:I or DA:I-style ones in these caps!

#dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age the veilguard spoilers #dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #long post #longpost #feels #solas #inquisitor

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adobe-outdesign · 24 days ago

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have you done a Grarrl review yet?

The Grarrl is a t-rex, and...well, that's pretty much it. It has all of the standard t-rex features: sharp teeth, reptilian eyes, and small arms. They're fine, but it doesn't feel like there's a whole lot with the base color that really makes them stand out outside of just having a lot of teeth compared to other Neopets (Poogle and Jetsam not withstanding).

I feel like part of the issue is that the Grarrl's body is completely solid in color by default, with no patterns or markings to break it up. Given their prehistoric status, I feel like stripes or speckles would've made sense; just something to break up the body and give them a tad more flavor. As is, all we have are the teeth and the green eyes with red pupils (which tend to be consistent across most, but not all, colors).

Beyond that, the base colors are alright, though for some reason the blue barely has any shading and the yellow is this off-putting dirty "mustard" color.

While the Grarrl's design has always been plain, I do think customization did them extremely dirty. Instead of being allowed to keep a more vicious expression, the Grarrl was instead saddled with an awkward smile that makes them look like they're posing for school picture day. In contrast, the old Grarrl's art gives them a big open mouth and allows them an angrier expression, which both looks much more natural and gives them a lot more personality.

Favorite Colors:

Maraquan: One of the only Grarrl pets that wasn't saddled with an awkward smile post-conversion, the Maraquan Grarrl is one of the best-looking Grarrls out there. Making a t-rex into a shark for the aquatic color works perfectly as a concept, and the execution's really nice; adding a very neat-looking ridged back fin and horizontal tail that sharks don't usually have, and fixing the plainness of the default Grarrl design by adding in a mottled white underbelly with small teal accents.

Neither version is terrible, though the UC/styled design is the better one—the fins aren't being forced into a fist, the colors aren't as over-saturated, and the tail fin shape looks a lot better (it's supposed to have a hook-like shape, not have a random spike coming off of it).

Halloween: Not only is a vampire a good choice for something with sharp teeth, but I really like the colors here; a very light minty body is contrasted with black and red accents, which makes it look both pale but also provides nice contrast without being too monotone. The cape also adds just the right amount of detail without being overly busy or detailed. The expression and mouth on the converted version, while still not as good as the old art, does look a bit more endearing and less awkward than usual, and I really wish they had used that mouth shape for the default Grarrl.

As of writing, there's only a "spooky" style instead of an actual nostaligic style that matches the old art, but reguardless it does look very nice. I like the pose and expression a lot, it brings back the black clasp (which was made blue for some reason during conversion), and I like the addition of the claws on the feet. Only complaint is that I wish they had given it darker eye bags, which were present both on the original art and the converted art.

Faerie: The faerie Grarrl having feathers is interesting, because feathered wings are usually restricted to avian Neopets; but then again dinosaurs are birds, so this is actually pretty clever. The orange, pink, and yellow palette looks nice, and I really like the speckled markings here and the addition of horns and dragon-like whiskers.

Unsurprisingly the UC/styled art is better, though I will say the converted has slightly better wings; I can't quite figure out the perspective on the original art. That said, the original art's head shade and expression look 10x better so you know, pick your poison.

#neopets #neotag #grarrl #neopet reviews

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jamisonwritestf2trash · 6 months ago

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TF2 Mercs as Cats!

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Based on a conversation I had with @prognostic-santhanas

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Scout- Abyassin

Abyassin cats, by nature, love to jump and climb and very are inquisitive. Scout, as a cat, would definitely always be climbing on the most random things and making the MOST dangerous jumps across furniture to keep himself from getting bored.

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Solider- American Bobtail

He's American in every form! But seriously, to be honest, Soldier is a LOT more dog coded then cat coded, so what better than a cat that has dog like characteristics? Bobtails are also very confident cats, and can be super friendly.

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Pyro- Bengal Cat

If Pyro was going to be ANY colored cat, it'd definitely be orange. Like Pyro in any form is a BRIGHT animal. But Bengals are also very confident, curious, and athletic. And like, cat Pyro LOVES to explore and run around, literally chaos incarnate of turned into a cat.

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Demo- LaPerm

LaPerms are very friendly cats, with some being referred to as lapcats, who have occasional bursts of high energy. Honestly, if Demo was a cat there's no doubt he wouldn't spend most of his time laying around and enjoying affection only to get up to some chaos when the mood suits him.

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Engie- Siberian

Siberian cats are affectionate, friendly, and extremely intelligent, and I mean, that's exactly how I'd describe Engie. Honestly, even when he's a cat, he's still VERY smart. No doubt, he learns how to do tricks and commands on his own, unprompted just for the fun of it.

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Heavy- Russian Blue

He has to be Russian in every form! (/j) No, but this fits more tempement wise like most of the others. Quiet, intelligent, and loyal are all ways Russian blue cats have been described, and that definitely fits Heavy. Honestly, it's not in this specific breeds nature, but cat Heavy is definitely a guard cat for any house he's in.

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Medic- Somali

Somali cats are highly intelligent cats. Similar to Engie, cat Medic would definitely be teaching himself everything he could. Also, unsurprisingly, a cat who's best friends with the neighborhood birds, you can definitely find them just, cuddling together. But he definitely would have a tendency to hunt mice just to "experiment" on as best as he could as a little cat guy. And I mean, come on. Put an evil grin on that cats face and tell me it's NOT Medic.

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Sniper- Korta

Korta cats move slow, hate loud noises, and have extraordinary sight, smell, and hearing. Like. This might just be Sniper himself. Cat Sniper is most definitely an amazing hunter. If he wasn't busy getting up to mysterious and unknown things you'd definitely find a plethora of dead animals just left in random places as gifts from him.

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Spy- Maine Coon

Common traits of Maine Coons are that they're adaptable, quiet, and patient, and like, come ON. It practically explains itself. Spy is definitely an annoying cat that loves to fuck with you but also will throw a fit if you don't give him attention. God, FORBID, you don't give him the exact amount of attention he requires. Something you obviously value more than him will be destroyed later on...

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Uh, surpise! Hc post jumpscare! This took me longer than it should have and I'm sorry. I genuinely appreciate how patient you all have been with me. Burn out is insane but I'm still in love with writing and in love with the tf2 fandom. I'll do the best I can to keep writing and again, thanks for being so great guys!

Hope you liked the hcs :D

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 demoman #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 hcs #tf2 headcanons

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upslapmeal · 1 year ago

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Notes from the Taskmaster 16x10 recording

The last two episode recordings I went to, I meant to make comprehensive notes when I got home afterwards that I would be able to look back at and post when the episode aired. I did not, in fact, end up doing that. So this time I was determined to have lots of notes, and made them on the go in the breaks in recording. However. They were made in a rush and I never went back through them to pad them out (you'd really think I would have learned by now). So instead of just having to rely on my memory, I ended up with an almost coded list of words and phrases that it's taken me pretty much 2 weeks to sit down and decipher lol. So with that said:

the pre-episode Greg-Alex entertainment was Greg getting Alex to sing a song about a recent news story to the tune of a song suggested by the audience - in this case it was Trump's lawsuit (the one in May 2023 since there are...a few) to the tune of Wuthering Heights

Alex really went for the whole live thing, and was constantly referring to it throughout the episode

when the contestants came onstage, I obviously first saw Sam in his bright colours and blond hair

we were right on the back balcony and my first impression from that distance was that he kinda looked like Jamie Laing lol

Greg made a passing comment about how he's been dressing in grey but I was completely taken by surprise when the vt rolled and he looked completely different!

I had assumed he'd actually buzzed his hair and didn't realise it was a wig until the ep aired

Sue made comments throughout the episode about how Sam looked like Dahmer

Lucy's prize task story, unsurprisingly, went on for ages and included a whole story about the holiday they went on that I tragically cannot remember

I was so glad they didn't cut 'untaffled' because I looked through my notes before again before watching the episode and couldn't for the life of me remember what she'd said

Greg's said that his immediate response to naked Alex in the prize task was that he was 'smooth like an eel'

After Julian's prize task there was a discussion about how people wanted to be buried, and at one point (I wish I could remember the conversation leading up to this) either Greg or Alex said they would be buried 'together forever in the Victoria monument'

There was a whole long debate about whether Sam intended to use nature as part of his doughnut task, and whether the bird toppling Ms Doughnut to her death should be counted

Greg told Sam to 'convince me to give you 3 points'

Sam went on talking about how amazing nature is and how we're all connected and at one point said 'consider the statistics.....3000' (I'm 99% sure this is what he said and I didn't just forget the rest of the quote)

Julian's exercise name was absolutely not a one-off, to the point they started running a 'cunt count' for the episode

Sue talked about how she had recently had an ADHD diagnosis, and that she kept viewing tasks holistically rather than paying attention to the details. This was specifically in relation to the exercise where she just did the same thing 4 times

I'm not sure if we saw the full extended version of Hotel Taskmaster, but we definitely saw a cut that included more than the aired version (though tbh I think they do that for most tasks and I just noticed this one bc we got the extended version)

We got an 'I put it to you' from Greg that Alex-as-Qrs looked genuinely cool

Lucy described Alex as having 'tight metallic buns' which Greg later referred to as his 'robot arse'

I cannot stress how much of a breakdown Susan had in the studio about the forks and marbles - you get a glimpse in the episode but that was nothing!

Susan also took AGES to do her throw in the live task - she kept on being about to throw before being interrupted, or saying her arms were too short, or that she needed a wee, or having a fit of giggles, and the longer it went the worse it got lol

Greg and Alex also had a go at it, and Sue wanted another go without the pressure. Greg and Sue got the ball in but Alex didn't

Don't ask me to remember the context, but at one point during the record, Greg told a story about someone he knew (whose name he said he would tell the others backstage) who would have sex in a cow mask and would demand 'LOOK AT ME!!!'. Anyway that was referred back to a few times in the ep

When Sam was given the trophy he just stood near-motionless with it for what felt like ages before we got to the hugs and everything

And now we enter the magical world of ~what on earth was this note referring to~ where I just hope someone else who was there (@politicalprocrastinator how's your memory?) sees this and can fill me in on what I've forgotten:

At some point around the prize / first task I wrote 'correct dog guess'. Whose dog? What was being guessed? Absolutely no idea

At some point there was a joke about the 'former Prime Minister', I think the idea being that by the time the episode aired we'd inevitably have a new PM? but I honestly can't remember

Someone called someone else submissive in a way notable enough for me to have written 'submissive' as a one-word bullet point, but not notable enough for me to actually remember

And now three bullet points which I will present in their original form:

Birthday

Bum hole in back

Get in bath

#posted on reddit so I thought I'd put it here too #taskmaster #ramblings

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greyspirehollow · 6 months ago

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Vesuvia weekly ; Watching the courtiers sleep!

Pairing : The courtiers x reader

Fandom : The Arcana visual novel

Warnings : none. Pure fluff.

You were simply walking down the corridors of the third floor of the palace, simply curious about what was there, since you had never visited before. However, you stumble upon their doors slightly ajar...

Valdemar :

You either see them lying on their back with their hands on their chest or on their side. The cover hides basically all of them except for their head. They lay down almost perfectly flat. They do not make a single noise ; if you didn't see their chest softly rising and falling you'd think they were dead.

They look shockingly peaceful and comfortable. You envy them.

They're actually a heavy sleeper (they have to sleep for three days like come on) but they would know if you were to even take a single step in their room and you'd die on spot.

But when they're awake they are like... Awake.

Vulgora :

You hear them before you even see them. They snore. Loudly.

S̷N̸O̴R̵E̶

They're sprawled out onto their bed like a star, either on their back or stomach. The covers are covering barely half of their body.

Ś̵̺Ň̶̲O̸͉͗Ṛ̶̛E̷̤̒

They're a heavy sleeper and move around a lot while asleep.

S̵̰̿Ñ̶͇̜͠Ö̷̞̲͘͝R̸̭͍̆E̴̖͋

They wake up before the sun ; because the sun is lazy. They are better than the sun. They're faster, stronger, brighter, and they have more gas.

S̸̞̹͠N̵̫̖̑͊Ö̷̳̳͊R̶̛̟͕E̷͔̜̓̈

Volta :

She's all curled up into a ball under her covers, like a little bird in its nest. Her breath whistles slightly in the night and she covers her ears with her blanket.

The little pair of wings on her head flutter here and there, and she does move around a lot, but tries her best to hide her face and ears for some reason.

Very light sleeper ; the sound of your breathing could wake her up

Tries to keep herself as warm as she can.

Vlastomil :

He, unsurprisingly, is snuggled up in his covers like a burrito. Reject humanity, return to worm. He wiggles around in his sleep sometimes, in a circular pattern, clockwise.

And when he's completed the circle, he wakes up.

Pretty average sleeper, goes through the normal phases of sleep and actually has pretty restful nights... If you forget about the moisture.

He sweats a lot, despite loving to be wrapped in his blanket like that.

Valerius :

Probably the most normal of them all. You find him sleeping on his back, one arm behind his head and his other hand resting on his chest, the covers up to his torso.

He keeps his hair in a bun for the night

Does have trouble falling asleep sometimes

Bonus! - Cuddling with the courtiers!

Valdemar :

1. Big spoon (to your great surprise)

2. Onto you weighed blanket style

Shockingly gentle yet firm grip ; they love the warmth and softness of you but will never admit it.

Vulgora :

1. Crushes you. Prepare to try not to suffocate. Sprawled out onto you as if they were sleeping normally.

2. The same but while holding you.

Firm grip, but will loosen it when they hear you can barely breathe. Loves your scent.

Volta :

1. Hold her close to you, envelop her in your arms and keep her safe. Loves your warmth too, and insists you're entirely covered in the blanket as well.

2. Small spoon, and clings to your hands.

Doesn't hold on to you, prefers being held by you to feel safe.

Vlastomil :

1. Coils around you worm style.

2. But likes to be held too.

Will profusely apologize about sweating too much.

Downsides : he takes the covers all to himself.

Valerius :

1. Small spoon. I rest my case.

Will act as if he is simply ok with it and doesn't enjoy it as much as he does.

You better not talk about this to anyone, he'll... Do nothing, he loves you too much.

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eroticomens · 2 months ago

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this is chapter one of my fic You Could Be Empty :) link to the full fic is included, but this can also stand alone, as it was intended to be a one-shot but i...uh. have *feelings* about these two so that wasn't gonna happen. full fic is mostly SFW, aside from the violence...however, the last chapter will be 100% fan service wink wink

~~~

Surprise surprise, Wade’s having trouble sleeping.

He tosses and turns as the rain patters against the windows. The sound usually lulls him to sleep, but tonight it doesn’t do anything.

He sits up with a grumble. Maybe a late night smoke or doing something productive will reset his brain. Maybe a smoke, then a good zone-out while he does dishes. Hit ‘em with the one-two punch and get two birds stoned at once.

Wolvie’s out on the couch as usual, but he sleeps like a fucking log. Plus, he was at least half a bottle of whiskey in when Wade left him for bed a couple hours ago, so the dishes clattering shouldn’t be an issue. Al also somehow sleeps like the dead. Why does everyone in this fucking household get a good night’s rest but him? What cosmic entity’s balls does he have to fondle to join them? Cause he’ll do it.

Wade slips his feet into his fuzzy unicorn slippers, pulls on an equally fuzzy red and black bathrobe, (custom made thank you very much) and shuffles out of his room.

In the darkness, he can just make out Logan’s form; passed out on his back, one arm dangling off the couch.

Wade very quietly collects the necessary equipment for rolling a joint from the coffee table. He notices, unsurprisingly, that Logan made it to the bottom of his now discarded whiskey bottle. Good for him. Eye roll emoji.

A soft murmur startles the merc. He drops his lighter and it clatters to the floor. For a moment, he thinks he’s in for a stern and shitfaced talking to, but Logan doesn’t stir from the couch.

The drunk old coot mutters something else indiscernible in his sleep. Wade hovers silently, just watching and listening for a moment. Another sound, almost like a whimper, intrigues Wade.

Wolverines don’t whimper. But then again… this Wolverine is special.

The older man’s eyebrows are furrowed, as they often are. He looks concerned or pained. He’s drenched in sweat, too; while the glisten on his collarbones and furry forearms is appealing, it’s more concerning than sexy in this circumstance. Wade contemplates waking him, but Logan would most likely not be receptive to talking about it… he hasn’t been very easy to pry into as a person. Getting him to talk about anything is a struggle, let alone opening with ‘hey buddy, why are you whimpering in your sleep?’

He should just mind his own business and go about it like he didn’t notice. That’s what he’s resigned himself to doing when another soft, sad noise grabs his attention.

Funnily, it sounded almost like–

“Wade…” Logan repeats.

The sound wounds him, wrenches his guts like no adamantium claws ever could. It makes him feel protective, confused, but most of all guilty. What could dream-Wade be doing for him to make such a terrible sound?

Wade’s brow ridges furrow and he sucks his teeth with his tongue.

Fuck standing by. He’s never been the type. He settles on his knees next to the couch. Logan’s heavy, boozy breath makes his nose wrinkle, but it’s a smell he’s getting used to, for better or worse.

“I’m here,” He says, taking Logan’s limp hand in his. Snikt!Logan’s claws shoot out, piercing Wade’s hand and he bites back a startled yelp, biting into his tongue so hard it’s lucky it’s still attached to choke back the sound.

Wolverine mumbles something that sounds an awful lot like ‘open the fucking door.’

Oh. Wade’s guilt doubles, but it’s accompanied by a sick little pang of pride. Logan’s having a nightmare about the time ripper…but more importantly, about him. About losing him.

“Shhh, hey, hey... Logan.” Wade soothes, flexing his fingers to test their operability– looks like all his tendons and ligaments are intact. He threads his fingers through Logan’s to the best of his ability from the angle he’s been skewered at.

“Wade.” Logan says softly again, but much less pained. “I’m here, Peanut. Don’t you worry.” The merc assures. He runs the fingers of his free hand through Logan’s hair gently, playing with his ‘ears’ while he’s got the chance.

The sleeping man’s expression softens.

Wade’s heart flutters and he feels the familiar sting of tears and a lump in his throat. He sits down a bit awkwardly and rests his head against the couch, stroking Logan’s bloody knuckles softly. He’d rather acknowledge the warm wetness of his own blood than the tears that follow the ripples of his scarred cheeks.

“I’m here.” Wade sniffles quietly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

After a moment, the claws slowly retract with a little stutter.

“That’s it. There’s a good kitty.” Wade sighs.

He wipes his face with the sleeve of his robe. Good thing it’s red, or it’d be ruined. Logan was so damn desperate to hold his hand, he had to do it in the most violent way possible. Typical male behavior.

The merc doesn’t remember falling asleep. He does remember Logan’s inebriated snores turning into a lawnmower-like assault on his ears, and the slow, irritating itch of blood drying between their entwined fingers.

~~~

When he wakes up, he’s on the floor with a kink in his back the size of Texas. Yee-fucking-haw. There’s a pillow under his head and a blanket over him. That’s weird, he definitely didn’t grab those. He sort of just fell asleep slumped against the couch.

“Morning, sleeping beauty.” Al says smugly from the couch. Mary is sleeping peacefully in her lap. Funny how the dog seems to like her more than anyone else. Maybe it’s just their little old lady energy fusing together.

“And a lovely go fuck yourself to you too.” Wade mumbles.

“Don’t be sleepin’ on the floor anymore, sugar. Makes you real bitchy.” “Meh-meh-mee-mee-blah-blah-blah.” Wade mocks. It takes him a few seconds to fully wake up, but in no time he’s ready to get up and kick the day in the balls. “Where’s LoLo Siwa?”

“Your boyfriend’s making breakfast, like a gentleman.” Althea replies. “I make breakfast.” Wade interjects. He pretends Al’s choice of words doesn’t make his heart pit-a-pat like a lovesick fool. The woman shakes her head and points…vaguely in his direction. “There is a limit to how much lava I am willing to shit in a single day, Wade Wilson, and your abuse of hot sauce exceeds that limit.”

“Hmph.” Wade disagrees whole heartedly. Without hot sauce, sometimes he can barely taste anything. Thank you, El Cancer.

The kitchen smells like ham. He can hear it sizzling away, and his stomach rumbles loudly.

He scrambles to get up– Okay, so maybe his back isn’t ready to kick any balls. Damn, that smarts. He does manage to get to his feet, then stretch for a full minute before he shuffles toward the kitchen. On his way out, he notices that most of the blood has been cleaned from the floor except for the area he’d been covering.

Logan’s cooking away. There are eggs and waffles already prepared, and Logan’s frying up bacon– the good shit. Canadian, of course.

It’s nice to see grumpy cat doing normal things; the older man’s had a pretty even split of easy days, and days where all he’s capable of is drinking himself back to sleep. Honestly, it’s been a roller coaster for a couple of weeks. It’s a process, and Wade’s not one to judge how long it takes him to adjust…if he adjusts at all.

Domesticity is a very nice color on the old man. Wade is going to poke the badger, though.

“Who are you, why have you broken into my kitchen, and where did you put my timeline hopping hemorrhoid?”

“If anyone’s a hemorrhoid, it’s you, bub.” Logan scoffs, not even turning to face him.

Wade mosies into the kitchen and steals a waffle. “Put it back.” Logan warns. Logan is still busy and facing the other way, so now the fuck did he even know? “Jesus, did you smell me pick it up or something? Come on, I’m starving.” The merc whines.

“It’ll be ready in a minute. They say patience is a virtue.” Logan’s tone is light, almost cheery. It’s a pleasant change from his typically stormy demeanor.

Wade groans excessively loud and shuffles over to the sink to wash the crusted blood off his hand.

Logan’s movements still like a dog who’s heard a rabbit in the woods the second the water hits Wade’s skin, like the scent has been reactivated or something. He can tell Logan’s turned to face him. A long silence hangs in the air and Wade continues to pantomime washing his hands long after he’s rinsed the soap away.

“Why were you on the floor this mornin’?” Is the loaded question Logan eventually hits him with.

It’s Wade’s turn to face away from the other man. He draws out drying his hands, wringing the worn dish towel repeatedly between his fingers.

“I had a bad dream.” He lies. But the best lies are based on a grain of truth. “When I was a kid, I’d sleep next to my mom’s bed because dad didn’t like me getting into bed with them when I had nightmares. Said it would make me a pansy.” He hangs the towel up and checks the reflection of the toaster to see if Logan’s still looking at him. He is.

Wade turns to face him with a smile. “If the dumb fucker could see me now.” He does a little twirl and a curtsey with his bathrobe.

Logan only seems half satisfied with his answer. He stares at Wade with that look like he’s trying to take Wade apart and inspect the pieces…then he snorts out a laugh and turns to finish preparing breakfast.

Call him NeoPool, because bullet successfully dodged.

Breakfast is perfect. The only argument is over how much chili flake and hot sauce is necessary for scrambled eggs, though the tension in the air when Logan admits to accidentally drinking the last of Althea's orange juice is palpable. They eat, they talk, and it’s incredibly, blessedly boring.

At one point, Logan’s bare foot grazes Wade’s slipper and their knees touch. Wade turns to look at Logan with a whole slab of bacon hanging out of his mouth. He nudges the older man’s knee gently, tilting his head. Logan nudges back, shoots him a flirtatious look, then goes back to his eggs like nothing happened. Wade’s guts churn. Butterflies are an understatement. Logan makes him feel more like he’s swallowed a whole goddamn lepidopterarium.

#poolverine #deadclaws #poolverine fanfiction #deadpool x wolverine #idiots in love #hold my hand #logan howlett #wade wilson #cries and throws up #wade x logan #fluff and angst

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zephyrrhiesfyrian · 3 months ago

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silly tinyformers ficlet, starring Brainstorm and Quark:

Your tiny is being harassed.

At least you think he is, because every time you come home, you find Quark hiding somewhere, and when you ask him what's wrong, he chitters and points at the nearest window.

Quark is a pretty jumpy little bot already (it had taken an entire afternoon to convince him that your vacuum wasn't going to eat him) but this is a relatively new development.

At first you think there's a bird of some kind nesting outside your window, but there's no nest when you check and Quark is nonplussed when you change your desktop background to a slideshow of various falcons.

So you set up a camera facing towards the window, wave bye to Quark (you would pet him, but you found out pretty quickly that he hated being pet), and leave for work.

Unsurprisingly, when you come back, Quark has clambered down into the open drawer in your desk that has become his main hiding spot. He's been spooked again.

You had a lot of ideas of what might be scaring him, all of them running through your head as you transfer the video to your computer and start reviewing it, but they're all thrown out the window when you see the real reason.

There's another tiny visiting the window every day.

You give Quark a tired look as he peeks over your arm, glaring at the video from behind his teeny spectacles.

Despite Quark's frantic protests, you do eventually decide to try and catch the other tiny. And it turns out to be very easy, which is surprising given that this is the same tiny who knew to wait for you to leave before pestering Quark.

You just leave your kitchen window partially open and some energon pellets under a very conspicuous box (you didn't expect it to actually work), and when you come home the box-trap as been activated and there's a lot of panicked beeping coming from the inside. When you open the top, the beeping stops and a teal and silver jet-alt tiny looks up at you with wide yellow optics.

You both stare at each other for several seconds before he points at your bedroom door (behind which Quark is safely hidden) and cheeps insistently at you. His wings flutter in excitement when he hears you mention Quark's name and he starts chirruping louder, practically bouncing on his heels.

You sigh.

He's really cute.

#transformers #transformers idw #transformers mtmte #transformers fanfiction #tinyformers au #transformers brainstorm #transformers quark #ficlet #might write more of these idk

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lonelywretchjervistetch · 2 months ago

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The State Birds Initiative: Connecticut (#5)

Hoo boy, it's been a minute! But hey, here we are again, after taking some extra time to figure stuff out. Welcome to the fifth official poll of the State Birds Initiative! Before the poll, though, one thing real quick. My suggestion is that you read the post below before voting in the poll below. That's especially important if you're lacking any context about the birds being presented as the new (or old) State Bird of the Nutmeg State, Connecticut. This is to be fully informed as to why these are being presented, and to make your choices appropriately. Lastly, some of these birds, you will notice, may go against some of the rules listed in the introduction post. All is explained after the jump where the explanations are, I promise you that. And apologies in advance, the spiel before the actual bird selection is...long. But with that...OK! Here's the poll!

Welcome to the Nutmeg State! A small state, mostly known for being between Boston and New York City, this is one of the foundational states of southern New England, while also having a somewhat...divided identity, we'll say. So, I grew up in CT, for part of my childhood, in both the classic upscale suburbs, and in the middle of the goddamn woods, right on the Connecticut River. For the record, the name "Nutmeg State" is based off of salesmen from the state known for peddling nutmegs. However, there's some speculation that the nutmegs sold were actually made of wood, but that's also probably from people who didn't know that nutmegs were supposed to be grated, and instead assumed they had to be cracked like walnuts. They tried, that failed, and they accused Connecticut Yankees for selling fake nutmeg as a result. So, yeah, a confusing legend at the root of the state's nickname.

You'll notice my use of the word "Yankee" there. Well, despite New York's domination of the term, it should arguably be most associated with Connecticut. "Yankee Doodle" is literally the state song; people from CT were previously and historically referred to as Yankees (which was also an epithet applied to northerners in general, to be fair); and it's actually possible the word was first used by the Dutch in reference to Connecticut settlers, according to multiple theories and historical references. But maybe most prominently, Yankee was used as a demonym for people from CT by one of its most favorite residents: Samuel Clemens, AKA Mark Twain.

Twain is, of course, Connecticut's most famous author, having written some of his most famous works while living with his family in Connecticut in his West Hartford house (which every central Connecticut middle school kid has been to at least once, I guaran-goddamn-tee it). Fun fact, though! Did you know...uh...ah, fuck it. Why keep stalling at this point? Look, as much as I love talking about Mark Twain, he was nothing to do with this post. Fact of the matter is...this was a hard one.

Look, I love Connecticut. It was the first state I remember living in, having moved there when I was a kid from the United States Virgin Islands, which I had been really looking forward to for a bunch of reasons. Admittedly (and unsurprisingly), a lot of that was because I was looking forward to seeing the birds! As a kid, I was also obsessed with birds, and I had never seen the birds in the US mainland before. It was an exciting time for me, and I honestly enjoyed growing up in CT, for the most part. I'd be there for almost 6 years of my life, and I have a lot of fond memories of the state. But, uh...ironically enough...finding State Bird nominees for Connecticut has been HARD AS HELL.

We will, of course, talk in GREAT detail about the American Robin (Turdus migratorius), as it's an important bird for more states than just Connecticut, but I'll give you a spoiler now: this is a boring choice for a State Bird. For any state. Don't get me wrong, I love robins! They're an extremely charismatic and iconic bird, and everybody has seen them at least once in their life if they live in the USA. They're also most likely an early bird (pun slightly intended) for people to encounter on a personal standpoint. Again, we'll get to them, but they're a notable entry in this list. And if one of the states kept the American Robin, I would understand. But, uh...is that state Connecticut?

OK, let's look at the state in the same vein as we have others. I'm sure this won't be the last difficult state to examine in the future of this project, so why not do the same here? Starting with habitat, Connecticut is another state placed within the Northeastern Coastal Zone, with a ton of deciduous forests dominated by oak, chestnut, hemlock, and white pine. There was a lot of clearance during early settlement and beyond, but succession has taken over in recent years to grow the forests back. The state's cut in half by the Connecticut Valley, with large floodplains dominated by maple and cottonwood, with the large Connecticut River right in the center of the valley. Finally, the Berkshires in the northwest corner of the state give us some classic New England flair with sugar maple (Acer saccharum), ash, beech, birch, oak, and hemlock trees on higher-altitude slopes, creating a hilly area that turns beautiful colors in fall. Man, I love Connecticut autumns. And the rest of the year, for that matter.

OK, what are Nutmeggers most known for, culturally and historically? It's a diverse state with a lot of mixed culture, partially as a result of its proximity to New York City. A lot of people tend to joke that Connecticut is just New York City, especially people from elsewhere in New England. And having been to NYC a lot when I was a kid, with a mom who worked there part of the week, and an aunt who lived there all of the week...yeah, fair. But Connecticut has a much more detailed culture than that. It's the home of the cotton giiiAAAAAAH, bad place to start that list. Uh, let's see, it's the home of whaliiiiiiing. Jesus. Uh...home of Mark Twain and Harriet Beecher Stowe? OK, that's better. It's a major seat of the Industrial Revolution in the United States, leading to it being a production hub for textiles, clocks, typewriters, machining, sewing machines, steam engines, aircraft, and honestly, women's rights to a certain degree. After all, it's the home of the Radium...Girls. Huh. OK, CT's history has some bumps in it, but what state's history doesn't?

As for modern Nutmeggers, they're industrious, generally well-educated, and honestly quite a bit eccentric. I've gone back to the state a few times in the last couple of years, and I forgot how honestly weird people are there. In a good way, not in the fucked-up MAGA sense of the word. It's a state whose people are unafraid to express themselves, from my experience. Probably a result of the diversity in the state, and the diverse perspectives that result. Its political atmosphere is a bit complicated, but overall pretty liberal. Which...doesn't translate super-well into birds at first blush, but hey, we'll see what we get!

OK, with that, let's jump into the selection of the birds for this list. Real talk, if anybody has a suggestion that I hadn't brought up here, send it my way! I will absolutely add another poll if there are entries I think could bear fruit. But, in the meantime, read on if you're interested in the possible choices for the State Bird of Connecticut!

American Robin (Turdus migratorius)

I think you'd be hard-pressed to find an citizen of the United States of America who hasn't seen a robin. This is, by far, one of our most iconic songbirds, and is certainly one of the most common and widespread. For some of us, they're a sign of spring. For others, they used to be a sign of spring, until global warming prompted some individuals to stick around through the winter, shifting their diet to frugivory a bit more and brightening the snow as well. They're prolific breeders with bright blue-green eggs (which are iconic in their own right), and can have up to three broods in a given season! Extremely successful and very common. And that...is a problem, for our purposes.

See, Connecticut, Michigan, and Wisconsin have the American Robin (Turdus migratorius) for their state bird, and none of them actually have a good reason for that choice. In Wisconsin, it was chosen by schoolkids because it was recognizable. That was also the reason for the Michigan Audubon Society to choose it as state bird. And Connecticut? Absolutely no goddamn idea. It's almost certainly for the same reason, but there is no real recorded reason for the choice of the American Robin as a state bird, as far as I can tell. For literally all of those states, it's a pretty bad choice by virtue of not being a good choice, at the very least. But that said...I mean, it's not the worst possible choice for a State Bird. For one state, anyway.

Robins, for the record, were named after a different robin entirely: the European Robin (Erithacus rubecula). Another red-breasted and beloved songbird, the European Robin was an immediate thought when American settlers saw the American Robin, hence why I keep saying "American". The two are so often confused in pop-culture, even Mary Poppins was guilty of it! That GIF above comes from the film, and in case you haven't realized it yet, that's an American Robin in England. Yeah. Wrong bird to use as a model for your animatronic, Disney. That has bothered me since I was a little kid, I swear to GOD. Erroneous film biogeography is one of my biggest pet peeves...but that's a separate conversation.

Back to the American Robin. Personally, I love robins of all species, and even recently did some genomics work with them (DNA extraction is fun). They're a commonly seen species, and a great entry-level bird for kids to get into birdwatching and nature. As an American icon, I genuinely think these guys should get some recognition...but I'm hard-pressed to say Connecticut needs them as a State Bird. We'll see what people think, but there's not a great case for them to get the title. To keep it...like I said, we'll see. Maybe the others won't be deemed as good a fit for the state. For now, let's move on from a popular backyard bird to a MUCH less popular one.

Blue-winged Warbler (Vermivora cyanoptera)

Here's the eBird pick for Connecticut, and for good reason! The vast majority of the Blue-winged Warbler's (Vermivora cyanoptera) breeding population is in...Wisconsin. Wait, what? Hold on...yeah, actually, Wisconsin, New York, Missouri, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and West Virginia all have higher shares of the population that Connecticut, with 5% overall. That's still a lot better than the American Robin's share in CT (0.2%), but still...seems like that eBird article is SEVERELY outdated, or I'm using the database wrong somehow. Either way...huh. Well, let's make an argument for the Blue-winged Warbler, anyway.

Blue-winged Warblers are a species of some conservation concern, making them automatically of interest. They're also extremely interesting to geneticists and ornithologists because of their relationship to other members of Vermivora, especially the Golden-wined Warbler (Vermivora chrysoptera) and extinct Bachman's Warbler (Vermivora bachmanii), with having documented hybrid offspring with the former that's of interest for various reasons. But outside of that, they of course breed in Connecticut, and represent an interesting bird to look for and find, with a recognizable song and appearance. It's also prized by birdwatchers, and would be a good bird for any aspiring or experienced birdwatchers. It also inhabits shrubland, which is of some conservation interest to CT government and environmental officials. But other than that...not too much else.

Connecticut Warbler (Oporornis agilis)

No. Look, I'm just gonna say this now: no. The Connecticut Warbler (Oporornis agilis) not only doesn't breed in the state (and possibly has never bred in the state), but it's pretty much not found there. Like, at all. This is not an easy warbler to get anywhere in its range in the US, but Connecticut isn't included in that distribution. "But lonelywretch," you scream at your computer screen, "why is it called the Connecticut goddamn Warbler if it isn't even from the state?" First of all, not to police your emotions, but stop screaming; way overboard for this situation. Second of all, it's called the Connecticut Warbler because its describer, ornithologist Alexander Wilson, first saw it in a fly-by during migration while in Connecticut. And...yeah, that's it. They do fly through the state very occasionally during migration, but it's definitely not a reliable bird to count on for local birders there. Honestly...bad bird for the state.

Side note here: there's a lot of talk about renaming birds that are named after people, and I agree with that in almost every case. But here's a hot take to elaborate on in another series: location-based names need to be re-examined. Not all of them are bad by any means, but the Connecticut Warbler is a great example of a bird whose name makes NO FUCKING SENSE. Rename this bird, I BEG of you. If anybody has suggestions for a renaming of this bird, throw them in notes for something! Keep in mind, Gray-headed Warbler is taken (by Myiothlypis griseiceps), so come up with somethin' else. Warranted inclusion in the list for its name, but we're gonna move on.

Osprey (Pandion halieetus)

It's at this point in the list where we get into some interesting candidates...and where I had the most trouble. But I'm fairly satisfied with what I've come up with, so let's move forward! This entry's a somewhat controversial pick for a few reasons, but an interesting one for a bunch of reasons. Now, I don't know about you, but I love Osprey (Pandion halieetus) a whole bunch. An iconic raptor, as well as a very unique one, they're a pescivorous bird found throughout the entire continent. And in Europe. And Asia. And Africa, Australia, and South America. Yeah, they're a cosmopolitan species, found in every continent except for Antarctica. That automatically should make them a bit dodgy of a choice for a State Bird, since they can be found in every state (yes, even occasionally Hawaii). So, why Connecticut?

First off, Connecticut has an intimate connection with the shore and rivers, especially the Connecticut River. Seemingly a loose reason, but the Osprey, AKA the river hawk or sea hawk (we'll get to that later) is an iconic riparian raptor, and a common sight in Connecticut. Having grown up on a river in the state, we used to see Osprey all the time, and it was awesome every time. But their commonness in the state is an important story in and of itself. And, if you know anything about Osprey at all, you know where this is headed. And Connecticut is a great example of this story.

The Osprey is one of the most iconic victims of the DDT crisis that hit the country, as well as a symbol of the environmental success story that resulted from its banning. I won't go into the full story if you haven't heard it, but the short of it is that the pesticide DDT was inadvertently ingested by fish-eating raptors, especially the Bald Eagle (Halieetus leucocephalus) and the Osprey, causing the eggs they laid to have weakened, soft shells. This caused a massive decrease in these and other species, nearly driving both into extinction. However, once environmental movements prompted by Rachel Carson and her book Silent Spring advocated for its eventual banning, the populations recovered. And in Connecticut, they've recovered A LOT.

In 1940, somewhere near 1,000 nests were recorded for Osprey between New York City and Boston. By 1970, the number in Connecticut was down...to 8. Jesus Christ, that's a hell of a crash! One of the worst in the country, in fact. However, today in Connecticut, there are 688 active nests in the state. Which, yeah, doesn't seem like the ultimate success compared to previous, but what's interesting is the rate of increase. Because in 2014, according to the Connecticut State Audubon, there were only 210. In ten years, the number of breeding ospreys known was more than tripled. That's incredible. This has quickly made the Osprey a symbol of conservation in the state, because of a massive amount of monitoring increase. There are states with more of a population, but Connecticut has a pretty good argument for having the Osprey. But that said...other states could also claim this species. Florida and Maryland definitely have claims on it for population size alone, not to mention, well...the most iconic state of all when it comes to having ospreys as a symbol. But we'll get to that one WAY later. just keep that in mind before you vote for Connecticut to have the Osprey.

Sharp-shinned Hawk (Accipiter striatus)

The Sharp-shinned Hawk (Accipiter striatus OR Astur striatus as of recent taxonomic proposals), on the other hand, is another bird of interest. The smallest hawk in the United States of America, this already seems a fitting choice for one of the smallest states in the country. It's listed as endangered in the state, immediately making it of interesting conservation focus. The reason for this status is likely because of window-strikes, which are common for the species in Connecticut, meaning that there's some public outreach needed to protect it. Protecting the forests they nest in (which are in danger) is one thing, but putting up protective window decals to help the species is another. Definitely a cause for focus.

However, there is one...minor detail that makes this a harder fight for public opinion, as well as a potentially ironic one. This is the first species we've discussed whose diet is basically exclusively birds. If you're in the Northeastern United States, and you've seen a bird get attacked and taken at your birdfeeders, it's almost certainly this guy. Which is cool, and important for the species' survival, but the average person being asked to protect a bird that kills other birds, especially birds like the American Robin, is...a palpable irony. Granted, it genuinely needs protecting, and has monitoring programs in the state, and it is a genuinely interesting raptor! But, this is a slightly harder fight to win because of that noncharismatic factor. But hey, it's a cool bird in genuine trouble in the state, it's a scrappy bird for a small state, and it's an interesting species to highlight!

American Black Duck (Anas rubripes)

This is another difficult bird to fight for, but one that needs attention, for God's sake. The American Black Duck (Anas rubripes) is a rapidly disappearing duck species, and not for the reason you think. Let's get to Connecticut representation first. It was the first bird to be used for the Connecticut Migratory Duck Stamp in 1993, the first one issued for the state. It's one of the few states in which it breeds (although it's not the primary state of focus, detracting from its candidacy). And, it's a controlled bird by Fish and Game, meaning hunting of the Black Duck is extremely limited. There is, surprisingly, a point to that statement, but I won't be elaborating here. We'll see how the vote goes, and I'll address it in the Results post.

So, why is this a potential issue? Well, Maine and New York arguably should get this bird instead, as they have a higher population. And the breeding population of this bird is incredibly important to promote, because it's disappearing. Why is it disappearing? Well, some of you may have looked at that picture and asked yourselves: "Wait...isn't that just a female Mallard?" And the answer is, no! But a lot of people think that. A lot of birds think that. Mallards think that. Which means that hybrids between Mallards and Black Ducks are incredibly high. SO high, in fact, the species is being bred and hybridized out of existence! They're so similar to Mallards on a genetic level at this point, that they'll be subsumed if their individual populations aren't preserved. So, yeah, these guys deserve some focus. Do I think they're a great Connecticut symbol? Well, to be fair, the state is regularly assumed to be either greater New York City or greater Massachusetts by outsiders. And it's not; it has its own identity that deserves to be preserved for what it is. So, yeah, maybe a good fit for Connecticut after all.

Also, it's the state in New England with the highest proportion of Black Americans (yes, even more than Massachusetts), so...I dunno, that's also something? Probably not, but as a black dude that grew up in CT, I felt the need to bring that up.

Snowy Egret (Egretta thula)

OK, sing it with me now!

Yankee Doodle went to town, a-riding on a pony; Stuck a feather in his hat, and called it "macaroni"! Yankee Doodle, give it up! Yankee Doodle Dandy, Mind the music and the step, and with the girls be handy!

Ooh, that last line aged a little rough, but Yankee Doodle! The Connecticut state anthem! Yes, really. Most Americans in the Northeast know this song, but it's got a unique resonance for Nutmeggers, seeing as it was allegedly based on the son of a Connecticut mayor! The state chose it as their song in 1978, and it's been a beloved symbol ever since. But, for the uninitiated (and probably to most school kids like I was), there is one weird word in there that needs a little explanation: macaroni.

Now, this does not, of course, reference the easy cheesy favorite of every child (and college student). No, this is a reference to an old 18th century term for a form of fashion back in the day. It's what the 2000s called "extra", or bourgeious (pronounced "bougie", of course). Basically, it's somebody who dressed WAY over the top in high-designed clothes and accessories to the point of looking...well, extra. Another applicable 2000s term would be "metrosexual", I guess. The macaroni became a satirical character in British culture, and would later become another character known as the "dandy". It's sort of a class-related satire, to be honest. In any case, the macaroni was known for over-the-top fashion, including...wigs.

So, what does literally any of this have to do with the Snowy Egret (Egretta thula)? More than you'd expect, actually. First off, the egret has a pompodour-like crest of feathers that makes it look quite like a stereotypical macaroni, in my opinion. Secondly, it does breed in Connecticut, albeit extremely rarely, sparely, and barely. Its population in the state used to be a lot greater...until people came around and starting hunting it down. Why, you ask?

Let's just go ahead and call that macaroni now, while we're at it. To be clear here, quite a lot of birds were used in millinery back in the day, but the Snowy Egret (and the Great Egret (Ardea alba), for that matter) are special. Those long white feathery plumes were heavily prized as hat decorations, enough so that the species nearly went extinct from hunting them for the hat trade. As a result of that, people began to turn their eye towards conservation of the species, and the protection of birds in general. Two women, Harriet Hemenway and Minna B. Hall, got a group of women together to protect the birds. They rallied the troops, and their organization became fairly popular. Eventually when they sought to name it, they did so after one of the most famous ornithologists in American history at the time: John James Audubon. And from there...well, you can guess.

The Audubon Society is one of the premiere bird conservation organizations in the world, and especially in the United States, and is well-known to the public sector. And it was born right here in...Massachusetts. Oh. Wait, have I jumped the gun on this one? Maybe a little, yeah. But, in my defense, the macaroni is linked to Connecticut through its state anthem, and the Snowy Egret is linked to the macaroni, as mentioned. But, OK, maybe this is a better proposal for Massachusetts, not Connecticut. But, uh...there may be another contender. Kind of.

Tufted Titmouse (Baeolophus bicolor)

OK, here me out on this one. Look at this picture of a classic macaroni character (on the right, for the record). Does that hairdo not kinda look like the crest of the Tufted Titmouse (Baeolophus bicolor)? Like, just a little bit, at least? I dunno, I can definitely see it. But OK, outside of that, is there another reason for the Tufted Titmouse to be the State Bird of Connecticut? Well, they're extremely common, they've got some charisma to them, and they're definitely found breeding in Connecticut. But...I don't know. I think they're plenty charismatic, but I'm not sure that makes them a great contender.

Still...they should be represented somewhere, right? I mean, the species breeds entirely in the USA, even though it can be found in Canada as well. Plus, other than being very recognizable, they're also an easy bird to find and support with backyard birdfeeding. And, if you want a fun fact about them, they're prone to kleptotrichy. That means, they pluck the fur from mammals to use as insulation in their nests! Yeah! They actually pick the winter coat off of dogs, and use it for their nests! Adorable. But yeah, does this really count for a good State Bird of Connecticut? I doubt it, but I'll let you vote! And I swear to God, it better not be just because of the name that it gets votes.

There you have it. Some complex and controversial choices. I miss any that you think are a valid choice for the state? Do let me know, and I may just issue another poll if this one isn't good enough. We shall see. But, for now, I think it's time to move onto the next state. And lemme tell you, I'm real excited about that one, since...well, I live there! And I have some ideas, lemme tell you. And some people will...disagree with me. For sure. Anyway, see you next time in Boston, kid!

See you next time, and happy birding!

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