#unstable season 1 episode 1

[stiffkick80]

[greencarnation]

eleven is fascinating to me because he came right off the back of tens horrible traumatic breakdown after he lost everything and he immediately tried to establish himself as the opposite of that. he is funny and goofy and almost childlike, and he bulldozes on in his adventures with amy like nothing happened at all. but then something happens and his masks slips and it's like oh! the core of this man is still anger. he is so so angry all of the time and this façade is the only thing stopping him from being consumed by it. he isn't over any of it and he hasn't moved on. he is wearing a fez and laughing but under that all that exists is age old anger and grief and it is going to consume him

[jaspers-geoforceroom56]

The Fifth episode in The first Steven Bomb.

[queenboimler]

jinx needs to be put in intensive therapy immediately

[dutifullybitchyblaze]

Poor Subaru...

[theblapmaster]

So they had a beautifully developed Jinx's character in season 1, had her break into pieces in the last episode and finally decide and accept who she was. And then they went: ''You know what, she's not mentally unstable enough and instead of going insane because she's mourning Silco and losing Vi, let's add a random child with the personality of a wet sock, kill her off and have her ''cause'' the exact same kind of reaction Silco already did. Only, washed out, ingenuine, cheap, and completely out of character. Let's reset Jinx's development like season 1 never happened. Yep, that's a great idea, people are gonna love it!'' There are so many things in season 2 that infuriate me, but the butchering and disrespect of Jinx and Silco takes the cake.

[starlattethesqueakwal]

All of the proof that we have that Vivziepop is abusive. (So far....)

While you support this post please go ahead and support my channel to see more about Vivziepop's abusive behavior. Thanks!

1. She rushes her employees.

Season 1 was made in 2020. While Season 2 was made in 2021 while being released with MULTIPLE EPISODES only ONE year later.

That's-

INSANE!

-and im about to tell you why:

The average cartoon needs almost ONE WHOLE YEAR to produce one episode. And this is what we see in MAINSTREAM shows.

Meanwhile, Helluva Boss took only one year (and a half) to make MULTIPLE ENTIRE EPISODES that last over 20 minutes. The longest waiting time for an episode being 8 months. Not even a year, and we get multiple episodes off the drawing board.

You can even see here that it's taken only three years to make 16 episodes. When this is an indie studio, so this should have taken so much longer to make. Yet for some reason, it took only a few years for us to get full seasons. In 2021, we got over 4 episodes alone. Have you ever wondered why these episodes come out so fast while other shows take a lot longer to get new seasons? That's an easy question to ask... Spindlehorse...

Is being ABUSED.

And I have the proof to show.

2. The pay controversy.

Spindlehorse's payment has been under controversy for providing the lowest pay possible to those that work at the studio.

One piece of evidence was given by Adam himself (albeit unintentionally) by saying this:

This kind of pay is highly unstable! And before you say "But he didn't force them to be there-"

LOOK.

The employees themselves admitted that they had no choice. People had no choice and Vivienne Medrano took advantage of that for her own selfish desires. This is disgusting treatment of a studio as small as Spindlehorse. Or any studio for that matter.

Hell! chaifootsteps said once that once Zeurel released that he was paying his animators too low, he deleted one of the tweets showing the low pay and decided to do something to give his employees better wages. Meanwhile, Chimera Bunny pays even less than Viv does and just because paying your workers low is normal in the animation industry- plot twist: Doesn't make it ok!

People have suffered so much in this industry, it's why "New Deal for Animation" exists. The only reason you haven't seen many Vivziepop workers having protests and speaking out is because Vivziepop says things like this behind people's backs if they "dare" do anything she doesn't like:

So that explains as to why so many people remain as "anon" or say nothing at all because they got cold feet. Vivienne's terrible!

Especially since even her top employees have admitted to not being paid enough despite Adam's "I pay them to stay if they make us the most mon-ey!" claims from the article:

Also this:

This is how she speaks about her own employees:

"YOU DONT LIKE HOW I TREAT YOU?! FUCK OFF!"

Straight up abuse.

Also, wasn't Walt Disney known for abusing his employees?

To the point where people had an entire protest in 1914 about it?

Wow... such a healthy workplace treatment comparison. Doesn't make Vivziepop look more like a jerk.... at all! /s

3. She bullies kids/laughed at a sa victim that was sa'ed by her friends. As one kid was bullied into a panic attack (I know them personally) back in about 2020 and Viv decided to vague post about them behind their back even after they apologized.

For someone who's so focused on "forgiving despite cancel culture" she sure likes to blame and harass people for disliking even ONE thing about her show or herself. One thing- and you're harassed over making a meme about a cartoon with fictional characters (What Froot Did that set Vivziepop and Gumball off.)

Secondly, one of her friends sexually harassed a minor.

And instead of acknowledging the sa, Vivziepop wrote this:

She ended up calling it a "joke" and made fun of the victim involved.

This is outright abusive behavior that should not be tolerated.

Children don't deserve to be traumatized this way. Especially over something as simple as making memes about a cartoon (negative or not) or simply telling someone to stop fetishizing abuse.

More on this in this video made by Gummypop:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND-

That's all that I have for now!

Will likely be updating this post in the future. Goodbye!

EDIT:

More evidence of Vivziepop using abusive language and slander against her employees behind their back. Claims of them being a "stalker" (like she did to Kedi and also its clear that she told her employees to say that Kaz was a "stalker" otherwise how else would they be saying these things after she fired them.) along with using abusive language such as "CUNT!" to prefer to Kaz this way in a professional setting I cannot. 💀

More evidence of Vivziepop harassing a kid:

ANOTHER edit:

More evidence, she's burning them the HELL out!

Yet ANOTHER edit:

More evidence of Spindlehorse being abusive:

EDIT:

Even MORE evidence:

The fact that the story AND the storyboards AND the animating for season one's episodes were all done in one year is just so crazy to me like... WHAT?! Either way, this post will continue to extend the more that I find evidence. So remember to look forward to that one!

EDIT:

Sadly no, as animation abuse is so common that the police dont even see it as an issue. The last time I tried to call the police on her they needed a location. The problem? There is no location of Spindlehorse since it's a "private" studio. So because of that viv gets away with abuse despite the obvious implications of her behavior and how many people came out with allegations towards her.

[homielander]

the most superficial perspective on the small council scene is that alicent is coming to terms with the realization that the leopards will eat her face as well, and she is being denied power for being a woman just as rhaenyra has been...

but i do think there's a more interesting series of realizations going on. season 1 went to great lengths to show us that alicent's motive for usurping rhaenyra was not rooted in the belief that women are not fit to rule. she is a capable political actor herself and she advocated for rhaenyra to be queen when she was younger at the expense of her own standing. even her conversation with rhaenys at the end of the season suggested a resignation to the way of the world rather than a judgment on women's deficiencies.

alicent had other reasons for wanting to supplant rhaenyra: daemon, whom she saw as a complete wildcard, would have been dangerously close to the throne if rhaenyra did assume power, and she believed that she and otto could guide aegon to rule fairly under their experienced counsel. however, in this episode, the small council she presided over as a competent administrator for years rejected her proposition to rule and chose in her place: her dangerous, unstable son who has already proven resistant to guidance and quite literally triggered the war. over her! because a woman could not be allowed to reign when another woman was usurped for being one.

this is not to say that alicent lacked the awareness on a more detached level that rhaenyra's womanhood was the pretext used to usurp her, but this makes it much more visceral. the people who facilitated aegon's ascension were not motivated by the things she was. in conjunction with her discovery that the prophecy was not about aegon ii -- the prophecy that would have attached some divine purpose to all of her pain, allowed her suffering to mean something -- alicent is really beginning to question why she is doing any of this at all.

[seasnailfish]

wemmbu unstable episode 2 season 2? guys i only know episode 1 haha wydm hahahahaha 😄😄😄😄 mushroom house guys! they're gonna trap theo what do you mean exp civilization? hahahaha taxduo is all good man they just need a place to live haha right hahahha😄😄😄😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💧💧

[mysterialistic]

Review/Ramble on Yingdu and Overall Thoughts

Okay, first of all, I think the fandom needs to chill a bit, especially on Twitter/X, because some people are overdramatizing the criticism from others. Criticizing a piece of media doesn’t mean you hate it, nor does it mean it’s bad—it just means it didn’t fully meet your expectations, and you have a different opinion. It’s as simple as that. Of course, I believe criticism should always come from an objective standpoint, not just for the sake of complaining.

Having said, let’s start rambling!

Yingdu had an amazing start. Those first few minutes, transitioning from the basketball game straight into the scene of Cheng Xiaoshi’s death, were so well done. Overall, the first episode was fantastic—the perfect mix of drama and tension. It answered some of our lingering questions before bringing us back to the Season 1 format, where they tackled individual cases, only for it to all build up to the arc’s main conflict. I won’t go into every single episode since that would make this way too long, but I had to highlight episode 1 because it was my favorite.

There were several aspects of these episodes that I really enjoyed. Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang’s bond was portrayed so well—every little moment between them, every dialogue exchange—it perfectly showed why these two are so willing to risk their lives for each other. I looked forward to seeing their interactions every week, and I was never disappointed.

Xia Fei was also a great addition, and I’m glad they didn’t kill off his character like many people theorized, because he has so much potential. I really enjoyed his complexity—he’s a spy, but he has his own morals and values. He dislikes Liu Xiao, yet he has a close bond with Vein despite his odd personality. He’s clearly intelligent, and I think that will really shine in Season 3. He already seems to suspect something, and I have no doubt he’ll get to the bottom of it. Right now, he’s angry and confused about what happened to Vein, convinced that someone killed him. But how will he react if (or when) he finds out that Vein was the one who initially killed Cheng Xiaoshi—one of his other friends, and probably the only truly innocent one? And don’t even get me started on how he’ll react when he finds out that Lu Guang tried to kill Vein or that Vein is still alive. I’m excited to see where this goes.

That said, I was a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see much of Vein and Liu Xiao. We mostly just saw what we already knew—two shady guys with their own agenda, pretending to be friendly. As an introduction, it was fine, but considering how much attention the promotional material gave them, I really thought we’d see more. Still, I don’t have a huge issue with it since they’ll obviously play a bigger role in Season 3. Liu Xiao, Vein, Li Tianchen, and possibly Xia Fei—a group of unstable individuals as antagonists… well, good luck, Lu Guang!

Now, something that does bother me about Yingdu is the inconsistencies between its plot and what we’ve seen in Seasons 1 and 2. For me, this was the laziest part of the writing, because no, Link Click isn’t flawless. In fact, no piece of media is. But in Link Click’s case, some of the flaws were painfully obvious. With every episode that aired, I kept thinking, “okay, this has to be an alternate timeline”, because so many little details just didn’t fit with the main storyline. The most obvious one is how Cheng Xiaoshi awakened his powers—he did it on his own, yet in Season 1, it was shown that he didn’t know he could do this. That makes absolutely no sense unless he has selective amnesia, which is definitely not the case lol. As for the inconsistencies with his parents, that could at least be explained by the promise he made to his mother to “not get involved any further.” He clearly remembers that promise and is likely just keeping everything he learned a secret.

Speaking of parents… Damn, Cheng Xiaoshi’s parents are awful lmao. I hated how his father acted like he was the victim, justifying his actions with, “yes, I abandoned my child, but now I take care of other children to make up for my mistakes.” That’s just… bad parenting. I actually made a whole analysis about it in another post. And then there’s Cheng Xiaoshi’s mother. The way she dismissed her son’s feelings and abandonment issues with a casual “oh yeah, it was wrong of me not to say goodbye, but who cares? That’s in the past” felt so off. The entire scene with her was weird—the humor felt misplaced. I was expecting something more emotional, more dramatic—anything but this. But based on what I’ve seen, almost no one liked her, so if the creators were hoping we’d find her eccentricity endearing, this introduction definitely wasn’t the best. Since Season 1, we’ve been repeatedly shown how deeply this abandonment affected Cheng Xiaoshi, and this is the reunion we got? It was… underwhelming.

Now, something I really, really loved was how they handled Lu Guang in this arc. From start to finish, it was just so good—his reaction when he first saw Cheng Xiaoshi again, his nightmares and PTSD, the way he carefully planned everything to manipulate events and create change. But my absolute favorite part? How morally gray he is. He planned and actually succeeded in killing Vein, eliminating the threat (though he’s definitely going to freak out when he finds out Vein is still alive). That cold smile? The scene where his hands moved like he was pulling the strings of a puppet? The way he said, “I hope we’ll never see each other again”? PERFECT. I’ve always said I wanted Lu Guang’s motivations and actions to not be entirely good. He comes across as someone selfish, willing to sacrifice others if it means protecting the people he loves—because he has the power and the knowledge to do it, and he wants his happy ending. Such a good character, I swear.

Of course, I wasn’t expecting every single question to be answered in Yingdu—that would be ridiculous lol. But I’m satisfied that the plot is finally moving forward. They gave us a piece of the puzzle—Cheng Xiaoshi’s parents, the origin of his powers, the antagonists’ apparent goal (some sort of notebook?), and hints at what we can expect in Season 3. That said, my biggest fear is that Link Click will lose its essence—the powerful message from Season 1 about how they shouldn’t intervene in the natural flow of time, no matter how painful it is, because the past and future should be left alone. Based on what Lu Guang said about the butterfly effect, we can argue that time itself is like another character—a force that, no matter how much they try to change things, always corrects itself somehow, some way. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what kind of ending I want for Link Click, but right now, I just hope it makes sense, that it isn’t forced, and that it unfolds naturally.

And… that’s all I have to say for now.

[ceruleanskies48]

Jealous Mizu

It’s Day 5 (Banter) of @taimizuweek! Like many in the BES fandom, I’ve been thinking a lot about love triangles since the creators have been unrelenting in their teasing of a Mizu-Akemi-Taigen love triangle. In particular, recently I’ve been thinking about jealousy. Although some ship the trio as an endgame throuple, “love triangle” typically implies an unstable arrangement that can be leveraged to create juicy drama through sparking feelings of jealousy, betrayal, and abandonment. 

While I personally don’t like the idea of Mizu suffering from such negative emotions, thinking about Season 1 through the lens of love triangles has made me realize that perhaps we have already seen inklings of jealous Mizu through her banter with Akemi. 

In particular, I’ve been intrigued by the moment in Ep. 4 when Mizu tells Akemi that she “begs to eat trash.” On first watch, this seemed really harsh (is Taigen really “trash”?), but I just figured, Taigen’s station is way lower than the Shogun’s son, and he was Mizu’s childhood bully, so she has reason to think poorly about him. Upon further reflection though, I think this moment actually shows some romantic jealousy on Mizu’s part.

In the episode before this, she left Taigen a very flattering letter that showed that she greatly respected him (and did not actually think he’s trash). She left him her the broken blade, took his scarf, and told him they’d meet again. Shortly before Mizu and Akemi’s conversation, Mizu fantasized about Taigen when seeing the male prostitute and swordsman kiss. And in the cut scene right before they talk (https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0KFcvrRedc/), she was looking at herself in the mirror and wondering if she could be considered sexually appealing. 

In light of all of this, I think the reason she so venomously chastises Akemi is that, on some level, she felt like she had a special connection with Taigen—even a potential romantic one—but feels threatened upon learning that Taigen’s fiancée is the beautiful, high status, and extremely feminine princess Akemi. Who could compete with that? There’s a tinge of injustice in her voice, like, why do you have to go after *this* trashy dog (whom I have conflicting feelings about but have begrudgingly come to see as sort of being *my* trashy dog), when you could have anyone else? Insulting Taigen is probably also a way for Mizu to suppress her own burgeoning feelings.

This comparative dynamic also comes up in the forge scene, after Mizu hops off of Taigen. For a moment, she feels a possible romantic connection to him, and it seems like she’s about to reveal her gender to him, but then he brings up Akemi. Mizu seems to believe him—that his boner was due to thinking about Akemi—which makes her confess instead to watching Akemi being taken away. I imagine in that moment, Mizu tamped down any hope she might have for a spark with Taigen, reminding herself that he’s in love with the beautiful Akemi, with whom she could not possibly compete. 

Mizu’s jealousy also comes out in her not-so-subtle jabs at Akemi and Taigen’s relationship. When they first meet, she tells Akemi that Taigen seemed more upset about his hair than his broken engagement. Later, even when she’s trying to bring Akemi and Taigen back together (and hyping up Taigen as a potential "great man"), she tells Akemi that Taigen BELIEVES he loves Akemi very much. For such a straightforward person, such veiled language stands out. She's a wingman with a conflict of interest.

Mizu is not the only one feeling tinges of jealousy. Akemi explains that she wanted to meet Mizu to see what power Mizu has over Taigen to make him run away from her. It’s interesting to see this comparative dynamic between these two women, who in many ways could not be more different, yet who are brought together by Taigen, who notably is their only topic of conversation in Season 1 (sadly Akemizu Season 1 doesn’t pass the Bechdel Test, but I imagine that’ll change in future seasons).

As the writers further develop the love triangle in subsequent seasons, I’m curious if we’ll see jealousies intensify and who will be jealous of whom.

[iminyourwallsbabe]

I will not forgive Fortiche for making me listen to Imagine Dragons and also French music repeatedly in one sitting on purpose

And by that I mean I saw the new Ma Meilleure Ennemie music video and I noticed some things, including parallels to the Enemy music video and now I have to yap about it

Time to get back in my bag of corkboard and strings ass shipping, I believe there's a story here and THEY JUST DIDN'T TELL US. So until then I'mma be in this bitch like this guy

Okay so let's start with some of the parallels. Not the music video but the scene it's attached to. So right off the bat, I noticed that the way Powder dances at the start of that sequence is very similar to how Powder dances at the start of Enemy. Like lots of twirling, hands in the air, even the hand she has lifted the highest is the same I think. It's not the exact same move but it says a lot that it was so similar. Speaking of Enemy, during JID's verse (very underrated by the way, I fear he saved the song), Ekko and Jinx are pictured together but one's always behind the other. That's very similar to the dance scene AND the music video. There's quite a few scenes where one of them is directly behind the other or they're back to back, stuff like this

Another one I noticed between the music videos is that there's always a thing with Jinx and bugs, specifically firelights. One flies out of her mouth in Enemy, and there are two on her face in Ma Meilleure Ennemie.

Another thing that may or may not be a stretch is that scene where the two of them are jumping on the bed and the dance in the show. They're kind of moving around each other moreso than with, but with the bed scene it's implied more by the camera than their movements specifically. There's also some of that in the other music video.

It's all extremely intentional.

For the dance moves, my theory is that when Ekko tells au Powder that he got his moves from following her lead, I don't think he meant that as literally as we think. Sure, he was definitely watching her and picking up on how she moved in that moment but I also think that he got them from watching his Powder. Think about it, for someone who's just following along he doesn't seem too awkward. He doesn't even look like he's trying that hard to keep up, it feels more practiced than that and that's probably because it is. He's used to dancing that way with Powder, this isn't new to him. By extension this means "Always a dance with you", may be a lot more literal. Beyond all the symbolism of it, they may have genuinely been dancing together frequently in the past. Now when you put that in the context of episode 7, the whole episode feels just that much more heartbreaking.

As for the bugs, the way they're placed makes me think of vulnerability. The two on her face are in line of where tears would fall, and the one that comes out of her mouth seems to come from the throat, a very vulnerable spot. People tend to feel a burning sensation in their throat when they cry or try to hold back from crying. I think the idea there is that despite everything, one of the few people Jinx can be so raw with, at least on purpose, is Ekko. I say on purpose because Jinx is extremely unstable, so she lets more of her emotions show than most but not in a "this is how I feel right now and it hurts a lot" kind of way. Ykwim? I don't know if I'm saying this right. I also think there's something to be said in the fact that when Jinx tries to off herself in season 1 AND season 2, she tries to take Ekko with her. Now there's some argument that in season 2, she didn't think Ekko was real at first, which very easily could've been true, I can see that. However, I think when you remember the bridge scene and how she tried to blow them both up, and then look at that scene in season 2, it feels a little more conscious. Especially considering that they're on some bridge-like structure. I just think it's very telling that the only person she wants to take with her when she wants to leave this earth is Ekko. All will to live is gone, she sees no purpose in her existence but she can't take her leave without Ekko. She can't end her pain without him. At least before the finale, idk what he said to her to change her mind about that but it worked. She ended up going off on her own.

That brings me to the symbolism in how they're usually positioned with one another. Back to back or one in front of the other. Those are arguably very protective ways to stand. However, they can also have negative connotations. If you're behind someone, they can't really see you, giving you the opportunity to strike if you wanted to. If you're in front of someone you could be blocking their way. If you're holding someone to your chest, it could be a hug or a restraint. The fact of the matter is that Timbeomb does both. They protect each other from danger, and sometimes they're dangerous to each other. Just in that last paragraph I mentioned Jinx literally trying to kill them both twice. They're best friends, but also enemies. You could even call them... best enemies.

Yk, like the song.

MUSICAL ANALYSIS TIME BABY, CALL ME NEIL CUZ IT'S TIME TO BANG OUT THE TUNES

Now what if I told you Enemy was the best possible theme song for this show? Like I've never seen a theme song that describes a show so well without being like "this is the ___ show and they do this stuff". You will never see me praise Imagine Dragons this much ever again, just fyi. But yeah. It fits every character dynamic so well but ESPECIALLY timebomb. It's also why I think they were kind of the main characters of the music video. We see a lot of them.

Okay so back to the bed scene, while that's happening, we hear the line "tell you you're the greatest," and then the bug thing happens and it's "but once you turn the hate us". To me, that adds a little extra symbolism to the bugs that I haven't touched on yet. It's very Enemy specific so I didn't wanna bring it up when I was talking about both of the firelight scenes, but you can also read Powder spitting out the bug as a rejection of Ekko. At some point after Silco took her in, she ended up pushing Ekko away somehow. Maybe literally, maybe emotionally, probably both because during the chorus, we get scenes of the two of them practicing their fighting moves.

Now we can get into my favorite part of the song and where we see the most of these two in the video. It's very Jinx centric visually, so I'm going to assume that a lot of JID's verse is supposed to reflect her story specifically (though it could fit other characters).

He says "I'm hoping that somebody pray for me, I'm praying that somebody hope for me" and IMMEDIATELY, on beat too, Powder pops out from behind Ekko. If we're looking at it from Jinx's perspective, based on the visuals I'd say that somebody is probably Ekko. By the time Jinx is Jinx, she's kind of convinced herself that Vi has given up on her. She doesn't have any confirmation about how Ekko feels. Ekko could be hoping that she's doing well, he could be praying for her, it's something she can only hope for because she just doesn't know.

Another line that sticks out to me is "The enemy's on my trail, my energy unavailable, I'mma tell 'em hasta luego". During this, we get another Ekko and Powder scene. He's behind her and he taps the pot helmet on her head so it falls out of place and she kind of falls to the side a little bit. That made me think of the bridge scene in season 1. In that moment, they're enemies. They fight, but eventually, Jinx loses the will. She doesn't have the mental energy for this. So what does she do? She tries to leave and take him with her via grenade. That line in the song is literally just a 2 second description of that.

Then the flow switches and we get a few more scenes with them. One is "they wanna plot on my trot to the top" and we can see them just vibing in the background. Again, looking at it from Jinx's perspective, that sounds like her trying to convince herself that Ekko is one of her many enemies. He's trying to stop her from getting what she wants somehow, he's an interference. Better yet, it sounds like something Silco would've told her.

The next scene with them comes with the line "Kinda shockin' they wanted static with precision". To me, that sounds like the bridge fight again. It starts out with them laughing and smirking at each other and it keeps switching to them playing around as kids, but then shit gets real. It becomes obvious that Ekko wasn't there to playing around anymore and somebody was gonna get hurt tonight. He wanted static, with precision. That's why Jinx is so caught off guard when he holds her down and just rocks her shit because that meant it wasn't a game anymore. But even he's surprised by his own actions. I read it as him realizing that he was doing more harm than he intended. He probably just came for the gem, and wanted to get it from her even if that meant roughing her up a little bit. That was more than a little bit, a line was crossed. Another interpretation is that he was ready to kill Jinx, not Powder. I like that interpretation too, because in that case I think that's when he realized he couldn't separate them. They were now the same person. That's why they look at each other like that. That fight was a shock for them both for so many reasons.

You could also tie in the final line of the verse with this. "Who the baddest it don't matter cuz we at ya throat", feels very bridge fight coded because it ends with Ekko literally at her throat with his stick. By then, when they both realize how far this has gone, it doesn't matter who's more wrong, who's stronger, because now they're here and this isn't what they wanted.

Now it's time to talk about the song and music video we actually came here to talk about. So the song starts off with "I love you, I hate you" repeated again and again and we see Jinx and Ekko with little glimpses of what looks like dancing. Then Stromae starts his verse. What we thought was dancing was Jinx laying on the ground. When this is on screen, he says "You are the best thing that happened to me, but also the worst thing that happened to me". And then we fade into older looking footage of au Powder and Ekko dancing together and he says "That day when I met you I might have preferred that this day had never happened". I'm going to go off the fact that Jinx lip syncs Pomme's verse and say that Stromae's verse is 100% supposed to be from Ekko's perspective. I had my suspicions but that confirmed it. So reading it that way, it feels to me that when he says this, Ekko is speaking to Au Powder, not to Jinx. By meeting her, he is reminded of everything he loves about Jinx and everything they could have. He says this in the show, but it comes in the form of him talking about the undercity. It has a double meaning. He admits he gave up on her, thinking a brighter future for them and for the city at large was completely out of reach. By having this epiphany, he realizes that he needs to try and save Jinx from herself, from the world, no matter how much it hurts and no matter if he even gets what he wished for in the end.

Back to the music video though. Stromae then says "the worst blessing, the most beautiful curse" and it shows Jinx with the firelights on her face. He came back for her. He came to try and dry those tears like he used to. And then it switches to them sitting next to each other and he says "From you, I should move away". It's a reminder that this metaphorical dance has gone on forever. It'd be less stressful to just stop. To give up and move on from Jinx. Most people would say he should. He doesn't have the means to give her the help that she needs anyway, so why try?

But then we get the next line "But you know what they say, rather than being alone, it's better to be poorly accompanied". It's the rebuttal to all of that. He can't give up on her because her being by herself is worse for her than being with someone who genuinely cares about her. He can't give up on her because he'd be alone too. If there's anyone he'd rather be with it would be her. At this part of the song, Ekko is surrounded by 4 Jinxes. He can only go back 4 seconds in time. I also think there's 4 version of her in his mind. One is main universe Powder, the girl he grew up with. One is Jinx as he knew her on that bridge, a for. One is au Powder, a taste of what could've been. And the other is Jinx as she is now. Those are the versions he's met before and I think they're all meant to be represented here.

Then we get the line "Be close to your dearest friends, but also even closer to your adversaries". This is where Stromae's verse ends and we hear Pomme by herself for the first time in the song. She says the second half of that line and Jinx, laying on the floor facing Ekko, says it too. By the point in the series that this music video references, Jinx hasn't seen Ekko since the bridge fight. Judging by this line, she's still holding onto that. She still sees herself as his enemy, even though the feeling might not be mutual. She doesn't know that yet.

I would say that mostly gets squashed when he calls her an old friend in that scene in her hideout, but as most hurtful things do, there's probably still remnants of that in whatever happened between then and when they pull up in the airboat.

Anyway, the chorus starts, and one of the parts of it I wanna point out is Pomme's but where she's like "But if you're still looking for my voice, forget me, the worst is you and me." THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENED IN THE HIDEOUT. He shows up like "hey maybe don't kys" and it takes several attempts to even get her to not blow them both up on the spot. She doesn't see a point in him trying, she thinks she's a lost cause. She even tells him to go away and that he's too late, she wants him to give up on her.

This is also the point in the song where we switch to Jinx's perspective. Looking at a few different translations, I'm getting two things here. The verse is definitely about Ekko, just in different ways. One version is about the times where he slips up and calls her Powder instead of Jinx, and maybe about him calling her Jinx at all. She's not Powder anymore, that girl is dead, can be not accept Jinx? But Jinx doesn't feel right either considering how she got that name. The people in her past thought she was a curse, did he think the same now? "What's that emotion, hatred or softness when I hear your name?" It was probably hard to tell.

Something else Pomme says that just screams Jinx in that moment is "I told you not to keep looking behind, your past will follow you and take you to war". It sounds like Jinx once again trying to convince Ekko that she isn't worth the time. But that's where her verse ends. That's where Ekko succeeds as indicted by the visuals of Jinx falling in reverse and the slight smile Ekko gives.

Now, the other interpretation of this whole verse is a lot more obvious. It hurts to hear his name because she misses him/thinks he hates her. Nothing too crazy there, except the last line of the verse is more internal. Jinx is telling herself not to look back, because when she does it ends badly. It ends in war.

Moving onto The Hug™, that comes towards the end of the song where they're repeating "I love you, I hate you" again and that's the scene it ends on. I think it also ends on an "I love you" but I could be wrong, I don't speak French and I refuse to, but I think that's what I heard. That's huge. It's the beginning of them working past all that "hatred" they had for one another and just trying to let themselves love the other again, even if it's just a temporary thing. It's the softest and slowest we've seen them like... ever. At least their canon selves. They're either play fighting, dancing, flipping off cops, actually fighting, or (mostly Jinx) trying to blow each other up. I don't think I need to speak too much on that moment, it speaks for itself.

Yk, I remember literally sitting there sobbing at season 2 episode 7. Nothing else really got me like that. Like I cried maybe once outside of that, but definitely not as hard. I can't for the life of you tell you why, and if I did know I probably wouldn't say it on Tumblr dot com but my point is that their story is extremely poignant and feels so real. Not to say that the other stories aren't realistic, they all are. Timebomb just feels like something you know a little too well, not in a lol #relatable kind of way, you know people like this. Maybe you are those people. You've been on both sides of the coin, or only one, either way it's not a good time. It's a story you already knew, it's so real that it hurts. There are a few different stories in this show that feel that way and it just makes all of it so much more impactful.

[honeygrahambitch]

"I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic" is such a season 1 Will Graham coded line. Cause everyone sees him as the weird unstable neurodivergent guy who is always shaking and sweating and connecting with psychos. They are used to him being that way. People stopped wondering if he is alright. Nobody noticed that he was in pain because he always looked like he was in pain so it became normality. Maybe at first he really shocked people but soon everyone just stopped noticing.

The episode where he asks Beverly if he seems different breaks me every time cause she says "I mean, you've always been different". Which proves the fact that his pain was invisible. And honestly I know Beverly had no intention of making him feel bad but I think her remark was kind of a reminder for him that he is the dude with the dark and twisted aesthetic, no point in trying to figure that out.

[totallyawr1t3r]

Might give a more detailed rant later but with Season 3 of Yellowjackets finishing, I would just like to say that it was honestly a bit disappointing

Spoilers Down Below

A handful of the characters felt Out of Character such as Shauna and Lottie for the most part, which was a really big let down and I wish we got to see more of the other characters and explore them such as Travis’ grief over Javi, plus his relationship with Nat, and what the FUCK happened to Crystal and how Misty felt about it

And back to when I said Shauna and Lottie felt out character, this season just made Shauna straight up evil??? Like I was personally all for Shauna being angry, I thought she deserved to but as the season kept going, I thought it just didn’t fit with what we already knew of Shauna and I thought Adult Shauna was handled extremely poorly

While for Lottie, I felt confused when it came to the last episode because in Season 2, Lottie was actively against the hunt so why would SHE be the one to suggest it? Especially since this would technically be the first hunt she would be apart of. It felt like they were just leaning more into her mentality unstable side without showing us that her mental health was getting worse

I also found this and I personally just don’t think saying, “Fuck it” works with a show like Yellowjackets. Season 1 and Season 2 are both amazing in their own ways with Season 1 being my favorite and while not everything about Season 3 was awful, I personally really enjoyed like the Trip sequence between Shauna, Van and Akilah and I did REALLY enjoy the final episode even if I had my own problems with it. So I think with them just going ahead and just doing what they thought was fun didn’t really land well because that isn’t the type of show Yellowjackets is. 

Anyways, sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I just have a lot of feelings about this show and really dislike how they handled Shauna this season…

[championari]

True Love: Why FifteenxRogue Works

WOW. Man, that Rogue episode, huh? Watching that live was probably the greatest experience I’ve had recently regarding Doctor Who. Not just as a queer viewer, but as a queer media analyst. Fifteen and Rogue truly feel like a relationship written for me to analyze, because there is simply so frickin’ much to talk about. So, allow me, gentle reader, to be your Lady Whistledown of queer alien fuckery, and guide you through analyzing the latest dalliance of our Time Lord extraordinaire with the most honest bounty hunter in the galaxy. 

We’ll be covering a LOT of ground in this: the theme of facades/masks, an interrogation of The Doctor’s perception of romantic relationships, and a deep dive into The Fifteenth Doctor’s character overall. So, needless to say, this is going be a LONG LONG piece. Grab a snack, some water, whatever you need, cause we’re going deep on this one. 

You’re still here? Fantastic! Then let us begin! Specifically, with the Fifteenth Doctor himself. Because above all else, this episode works as a dissection of his character overall. 

I’ve already done two metas regarding The Giggle’s ending and The Doctor’s perception of romance pre-Season 1/14, so if you want more elaboration, go read those here: 1, 2. But in case you don’t, I’ll sum up and expand based on what we’ve learned since. 

The Doctor, as a character, has always struggled with commitment and attachment. They never stayed in one place for long and when they did, they had an unhealthy relationship with it (Trenzalore, Darillium, Bill’s University). Romantic connection is a permutation of this larger issue, as every romantic relationship we have seen The Doctor take part in since 2005 either was unbalanced (holding back problems/outright lying) or ended in a really bad way.  However, thanks to the 60th specials and a bi-generation, The Doctor went through a massive change, and with it, came a new perception of openness and love. Fifteen is more expressive, and willing to verbally identify beauty. He openly points out how beautiful people are, and talks about previous exploits with pride. But this supposed openness betrays a deeper dishonesty still inside the Doctor. As much as Fifteen talks the talk of openness, he doesn’t often walk the walk when things get tough.

Fifteen’s character struggle is trying to break out of the Doctor’s previous patterns of unstable attachment and commitment while continuing those patterns. He values emotional honesty and encourages it in others yet simultaneously runs from it when the spotlight is on himself, even when he knows it’s beneficial and necessary for him to do so. So, with all of that in mind, let’s deep dive into Rogue (the episode, not the character, but also the character).

The best word to describe this episode is ‘deception’. Setting the episode in Bridgerton-esque Regency-era England was an appropriate choice, likening to a show that is all about facades and posturing to gain wealth and social standing (yes I am oversimplifying, don’t hurt me). Throughout the episode, we see characters who aren’t who they present themselves to be and use all manner of tools or tactics to disguise themselves to meet their ends. 

We have the Chuldur, creatures who gain pleasure from cosplaying. They thrive on creating fake entertainment for their amusement, honesty is useless if it can’t satisfy them. While this is meant as an obvious commentary on fan culture and how dangerous it can get when taken to the extreme, it also functions as a darker reflection on The Doctor’s habits. Because think about it: what are Fifteen and Ruby doing in this episode? They are having fun, dancing alongside the other partygoers. They’re wearing the outfits but only to blend in. Ruby doesn’t know how to dance, she has to wear psychic earrings to keep up. She watches the fake fight between ‘Emily’ and ‘Lord Stilton’ like she would watch an episode of Bridgerton. Her fight with Emily later in the episode is set to Lady Gaga’s ‘Poker Face’ playing in the background.

What we’re seeing in the villains is The Doctor’s pastimes becoming toxic, taking a companion and bringing them to a culture far removed from their own. But it’s not only a commentary on The Doctor overall, it’s also Fifteen’s philosophy in a darker context. Posing as sincerity and maybe containing it to some extent, but ultimately not completely honest. Through the setting and the villains, the episode is already priming us on a subconscious level to be thinking about disguises and dishonesty, a topic that both The Doctor and the Fifteenth incarnation specifically have a complicated relationship with. And then comes Rogue.

Rogue himself is such a fascinating part of the episode because he is such a deliberate disruption to this cultivated environment of deception. Rogue is the complete antithesis of everyone in the plot. He’s terrible at improvising, he’s socially awkward, he dances without needing psychic earrings, and he never cleans the inside of his ship. Rogue intentionally disrupts the narrative of lies by not being able to play the game. Even when he tries to wear a mask, the mask of an uncaring bounty hunter, He doesn’t wear it well and gets rid of it after the ship scene with The Doctor. Rogue is a character who cannot help but be who he is, he’s a character who not only can’t wear a mask but doesn’t want to. To put it simply, honesty is Rogue’s kink. That’s why the episode is named after him; it’s not just because he’s a central character, but because he provides the counter-argument to the themes of lies and deception. Rogue, the disruptor to The Chuldur’s acts of fake entertainment, and the disruptor to The Doctor’s act of cosplaying with Ruby, and on a deeper level, disrupts Fifteen’s oscillation between sincerity and repression. But we’ll get to that, we have Mount Everest's amount of context to analyze first, starting with their first meeting.

The Doctor and Rogue’s beginning scene sets the stage for the main obstacle in their relationship: their masks. ‘Cause right now we’re operating with two versions of the characters: the facade/mask versions, and the real versions. We get our first look at Rogue when Fifteen looks around for interference on the psychic earrings. He finds him being the most conspicuous while wearing the ‘bounty hunter’ mask: on a balcony (separated from the party physically), not speaking at all. 

He is standing out here but only in the way someone who knows disguises would recognize. The Doctor, remember no. 1 liar, of course he’s gonna recognize that. So much so, that he gives Rogue pointers on how to put on a better “brooding” face, literally teaching him how to wear the mask better. Rogue is an amateur mask wearer, going up against the master of mask-wearing. And that’s why Fifteen smiles when he sees him, he’s intrigued by that contradiction and wants to know more. 

Rogue meanwhile, is being rude and dismissive to scare him off, trying to keep to the mask he’s built. At this point, he knows that Fifteen also stands out from the rest but right now is assuming that he’s still a random partygoer. Notice what he says to him: 

He’s still using language and ideas someone from that era would understand. Where this deviates is this little exchange that felt familiar to me, but I couldn’t figure out from where. Until I remembered this:

(credit to @ngatwa for this set, you're amazing)

This is the first instance in the episode where Fifteen and Rogue’s relationship calls back to previous romantically-coded relationships The Doctor has had between companions. But it’s not just romantic subtext, it’s subtext that explains where the two are in the relationship. Victorian Clara was far more than what she appeared to be (a governess masquerading as a barmaid/echo of a companion scattered in the Doctor’s timeline), and the Doctor was more than he appeared to be (an alien who lived in a blue box). In asking those questions, it’s both recognition of the masks and inquiry for the real person underneath. Same thing here: Rogue and Fifteen at this point are trying to figure each other out, trying to see beyond the masks of the uncaring bounty hunter, and the flirtatious partygoer. Where things start to go wrong is that neither party fesses up to who they are. Rogue instantly assumes Fifteen is The Chuldur he’s looking for, while Fifteen assumes Rogue is a regular partygoer looking to…*ahem* create a scandal in the gardens if you get what I mean. This explains why a violin rendition of Billie Eilish’s ‘Bad Guy’ plays in the background. It’s not just a Bridgerton reference, it’s contributing to both characters’ perception of each other in this scene: both characters think the other is the “bad guy”. The lead into the scene is deception, we leave it the same way. No breakthrough yet. 

Now we’re moving on to the scene in the garden, where both masks of Fifteen and Rogue begin clashing with their real personalities. Fifteen is still being semi-sincere, still complimenting Rogue. And like water, all of it is rolling off of him because he’s still under the assumption he’s talking to a shapeshifting alien. He rudely asks about The Doctor’s info dumping and doesn’t respond to The Doctor’s compliments.

(credit to @klausbens for the gif, you're awesome)

He’s not engaging because he thinks the Doctor is not who he appears to be, and for a character that values honesty, everything Fifteen says is gonna wash over him. The moment this changes is when the two are accusing the other of the murder. Quite literally finishing each other’s sandwiches (C’mon, you know I had to throw a Frozen reference in this somewhere). 

This is a very interesting scene given our current context. Trope-wise, this is meant to communicate to the audience the bond between the two characters, they’re thinking the same thing. But the trope is flipped on its head because both characters take it in opposite directions. Both Fifteen and Rogue are in perfect sync, they are being honest about how much they understand about the situation, but that information is leading them to completely different conclusions (i.e. the other person is the Chuldur). They’re slapping more masks onto each other, this time with information they know is true, which leads to them locking in their heels and simply not being honest altogether until later. This scene is a repeat of the previous one, except this time it’s them showing their hands a bit more, making the backslide all the more difficult. Getting close to sealing the deal, then heel turn at the last minute, a classic Bridgerton move. 

So, what needs to happen to break this backslide? Well, plain and simple honesty. The scene on Rogue’s ship is when both masks start coming off. What Fifteen is doing on the ship during the scene is essentially trying to figure out Rogue. He finds out the ship is meant to be piloted by two, and he discovers the origin of Rogue’s name, the Kylie Minogue music. Which is a moment I want to zoom in on. Right before this happens when Rogue gives a cheeky response to Fifteen finding out about the name, Fifteen makes a joke and starts emphasizing his Scottish accent. This is Fifteen putting on another mask to make a joke, and Rogue doesn’t appreciate that, given his dirty look. 

Then Fifteen finds the music, which he then again uses as an opportunity to joke around and make fun of him (and flirt a little bit with him).  Fifteen is removing Rogue’s mask, while he is staying enigmatic and mysterious, which is why Rogue is still stonewalling him. HOWEVER, two can play that game, and Fifteen makes a big mistake in showing Rogue the psychic paper. This is the first time Fifteen is completely honest about his feelings towards Rogue. No mask, no posturing, complete honesty. And we see Rogue responds positively to this: 

This is the first time the two are both on the same level, communicating honestly. And that’s where we start to see genuine romantic feelings and attraction. 

But it’s not enough, so what does Fifteen do? He pulls out the big guns. He shows Rogue the truth: he’s a Time Lord from Gallifrey and has lived many different lives over hundreds of years. He not only rips off his mask, he quite literally reveals all of the other masks the Doctor has worn throughout the ages. And what is Rogue’s reaction to this? 

Complete besotted awe. If honesty is Rogue’s kink, then The Doctor revealing their faces just supercharged it. This is the moment that Rogue falls in love because he’s finally seeing who this mysterious flirty person really is. 

Now, I’m gonna pull out another previous Doctor romance for two reasons: One, I’ve been seeing this comparison floating around for a while, and if you know me and my old analyses, it’s that I cannot leave an inaccurate take alone, and two, because I think it applies here. I’ve been seeing comparisons online of this episode to Girl in the Fireplace, in which a new character falls in love with The Doctor and gets the rare opportunity to see their true self. But what makes Reinette different from Rogue is that honesty kink. Reinette was attracted to the mystery of the Doctor, her childhood hero who somehow doesn’t age. Note when he comes back the first time, she focuses on how strange he is:

She learns more about them later, but she was already in love with them before that. Rogue doesn’t want the mystery. In reality, The Doctor wearing masks is a turnoff for him. He only wants the real thing, so when Fifteen reveals the truth, that’s when the genuine romance begins. 

(We could also extend this comparison to the discussion of consent: Reinette found out everything without The Doctor's permission, while Fifteen revealed all the info by himself, but whether we can consider this consensual depends on your definition of consent under duress/threat. So I’m not entirely sure what to make of this conversation, feel free to expand in the tags/replies cause I want to hear more about this)

So now we’re moving along to the TARDIS scene. We continue with the theme of disguises with the whole “bigger on the inside” routine, Fifteen riffing as Willy Wonka for a hot moment singing Pure Imagination, and we have Rogue’s momentary slip-up:

(credit to klausbens for the gifs, you're awesome)

This is a great sign of character growth because while he’s maybe not wholly honest about his feelings towards The Doctor, he still is open about his love for the TARDIS, an important part of The Doctor’s life, so big step right there. 

I want to pay attention to the heart-to-heart here because watching what Fifteen says and how he reacts is extremely important to getting his view on the situation. Because right now, I wouldn’t say The Doctor is in love with Rogue back. While there is a lot of attraction and hints at a deeper bond, Fifteen is still operating with most of his mask on. Notice that when he asks Rogue about the person he lost, Ncuti Gatwa’s blocking has him leaning on the railing at an angle to the side of Rogue. He’s purposely staying at a distance, yet is leaning on the railings to appear casual. 

And when Rogue starts opening up, he moves closer and they’re at equal distance from each other.

We get a really sweet (and allegorical to the queer community) moment about The Doctor’s motivation of living out of respect for the dead, to keep living each day that they lost. And then we get Fifteen inviting Rogue onto the TARDIS. I want to focus on this because he doesn’t seem upset or disappointed by Rogue countering this offer by inviting The Doctor to travel with him, meaning he doesn’t see this as a “take it or leave it” offer. In fact, the compromise Fifteen comes up with, “let’s argue across the stars” and Rogue accepting it, is what leads to the almost kiss. So that prompts the question, what is Fifteen trying to say here? 

Well, what Fifteen is asking for is to continue seeing Rogue. It doesn’t matter to him if he’s on the TARDIS or not, all that matters is that he still has him in his life. The choice to see him more. Why does that sound familiar? Because that’s exactly what I wrote about in my dissertation on The Giggle’s Ending: 

“In giving Fourteen their own TARDIS, Fifteen is allowing his younger self to have what they always removed from the equation: free will. The Doctor can still go anywhere they want, which makes them even more motivated to stay and fix themself. Fourteen can feel safe staying with Donna, Wilf, Mel, Rose, Shaun, and Sylvia because the option to travel is still there.”

Fifteen’s love language is giving the people he cares about the freedom to express the love they already have within them. He values freedom above all else, and when Rogue accepts that freedom, that’s when we get the almost-kiss. This is the moment where The Doctor falls in love with Rogue back because it’s Rogue being willing to meet The Doctor where they’re at. He’s allowing Fifteen to set the pace and not force himself on him. 

Additionally, this willingness to be as slow or fast as The Doctor needs means far more to The Doctor overall than to just Fifteen. Many people have already pointed out the similarities between the line “let’s argue across the stars' and previous lines the Doctor has said to villainous characters like The Master and The Toymaker:

"We can take your games back to the stars."

"We can fight across the constellations if that's what you want".

Now, why is that? It’s because again, The Doctor’s perception of Rogue is evolving in this scene. Remember, up to this point, The Doctor doesn’t entirely know Rogue’s morality. All they know is that Rogue is a bounty hunter, and is not afraid to use his gun when he deems appropriate. There’s even a little line in this scene before the heart-to-heart where Fifteen specifically imposes his own brand of morality on the situation: “Whatever the Chuldur has done, I can’t let you kill it.” Now, we know that The Doctor’s morality and romantic life can conflict: River being a known murderer/psychopath, their longtime situationship, and later attempted rehabilitation of The Master/Missy. This is another feature of The Doctor’s character: while they do act like they have the final say on what is right, they also compromise that morality for people they care about. 

Like how The Doctor surprised Rogue by showing all of his faces, Rogue surprised the Doctor right back by not only being honest about his past but by being willing to accept The Doctor’s compromise. This moment is when The Doctor finds out that Rogue is a good person, and that The Doctor doesn’t need to compromise their morality when entering this relationship.

This heart-to-heart is about Rogue not only winning over the Fifteenth Doctor by agreeing with his values of freedom but also winning over The Doctor overall by just genuinely being a good person. But of course, the moral duty of taking care of the Chuldur rears its head in the form of the TARDIS alerting that the trap is ready. The bubble has popped and we still have a long way to go. 

(Plus, Fifteen’s facial expression in this shot perfectly captures that trademark “Oh.” moment, realizing you’re in love with someone but then taping it down to focus back on the immediate problem. Love you Ncuti Gatwa, you do great work)

Alright, now we’re at the dance/fake proposal scene. Oh lord, so much happens here with both dialogue and production regarding character, so let’s take this one at a time. Fifteen, Rogue and now Ruby have figured out the big plot regarding the Chuldur, their obsession with cosplay and dressing up to create drama. In response, Fifteen comes up with the idea to essentially beat them at their own game: create a fake scandal to draw them out. 

Now on paper and in terms of beating the bad guys, this is a plan that could and does work, but in terms of his relationship with Rogue: THIS. WAS. A. BAD. IDEA. Why? The very idea of masks and faking not only was the leading cause of them not connecting in the beginning but specifically doesn’t work with Rogue. You can see it in how Rogue nervously looks at Ruby and Emily when Fifteen asks him to dance, and even questions the validity of the plan: 

(credit goes to @carricfisher for texted gif, you're awesome)

It’s not just that he doesn’t know about homophobia, he just doesn’t like the idea of pretending at all. But the reason why it doesn’t collapse right away is because it’s not entirely pretending. The dance may function on the surface to create a scene, but for Rogue (and Fifteen albeit to a smaller extent) it doubles as an intimate moment between them. This connects to the choice of dimming the lights in an unrealistic way (which btw, as a film student, had me going insane watching it live). We’re seeing a deliberate break in reality, a dishonest showcase of the story being told, that serves the purpose of highlighting an ultimately honest and sincere act of love. Both The Doctor and Rogue are warping the aesthetic of deception in terms of the narrative by fabricating a scandal, and in terms of the production by changing the lighting. 

But of course, things start going to hell right there. Fifteen tries to up the drama and Rogue can’t keep up. Rogue overcorrects and proposes to Fifteen, who freaks out and leaves the room. Now, I don’t want to get into the question of whether or not Rogue was playing along by proposing or being genuine (Personally speaking, I think it was both. 70% true, and 30% fake). Instead, I want to clear up why Fifteen freaked out here. I’m sure a lot of the long-time audience could already guess that it was parallel to River Song, The Doctor’s wife, but I think it’s more layered than that. Why would a reference to River scare the Doctor so much, aside from reminding them of a close person they lost? Because the last time the Doctor got married to someone they truly loved, it involved a 24-year stay on Darillium, which he knew would end in tragedy. Note the word choice here:

“Sorry I…I can’t.”

Not ‘I don’t want this’, it’s a void of agency (which connects to my piece on The Giggle’s ending and freedom). The Doctor can’t have that with Rogue, he was fine with them being casual to avoid the possibility of losing him. 

But on my first watch, I couldn’t help getting a little bit cross with Fifteen here, because the amount of ball fumbling on display is outright ridiculous; The Time Lord brings himself onto the dancefloor, with a guy he nearly made out with two minutes ago, gets all up in his face and starts shouting at him to “tell me what you heart wants!” and then completely freezes when said guy starts proposing to him. What in the fuck did you expect was going to happen, bud?! What made you think this would go off without a hitch?

I want to preface this by saying I had a completely different reading of this scene for a long time. My original thought was that Fifteen was trying to do multiple things simultaneously. He potentially was trying to lure out the Chuldur by creating scandal and at the same time, was trying to have a serious talk with Rogue about where he’s at emotionally. These lines in particular have fascinated me since my first watch: “You would ask me to give up my title, my fortune. But what future can you promise me?”. It did feel like these lines hinted at Fifteen’s thought process at this moment, he chose those specific lines to use for this moment. Was Fifteen trying to have an honest conversation with Rogue about their relationship while being fake to everyone else? But that doesn’t make sense considering the previous conversation in the TARDIS showed Fifteen comfortable with the idea of them being casual and Rogue respecting that, so it doesn’t make sense with where Fifteen is progression-wise. 

But it wasn’t until writing out this piece that I realized I had it all wrong and the truth was far simpler: this is a repeat of their meeting on the balcony, albeit with higher personal stakes. Let’s take a step back here: What is happening in this scene? Fifteen and Rogue are completely missing what the other is trying to say. Fifteen ignored Rogue being visibly uncomfortable over being back to playing with masks, and Rogue is not getting if Fifteen wants him to be genuine or not. Just like on the balcony and the garden, where both sides think they’re saying one thing when it’s the opposite. Before, both parties were wrong about who they were, now both parties are wrong about what they want. 

Fifteen is saying complete bullshit here, not true stuff to their situation but stuff that their audience would react to. He’s being over the top on purpose to elicit reactions. Meanwhile Rogue is thinking he’s being genuine. He thinks Fifteen is, through code speak, trying to genuinely ask him these questions. Which leads him to get down on one knee. And that’s a big problem because Rogue doesn’t know that proposing is wading into a gargantuan trauma pool for The Doctor. This scene is a magnified example of the duo’s problem with masks and not being completely honest with each other. 

However, while this scene may have been a cause for regression from The Doctor on the relationship part, Rogue on the other hand has an epiphany. In the scene following this one, we get the truly iconic callback of “Run.” and Rogue taking the Doctor’s hand. Why is this important? Well, there are three specific examples that this moment is calling back to: 

Nine meeting Rose ("Run!")

Victorian Clara and Eleven fleeing from the Ice Governess ("I do the handgrabbing! That's my job! That's always me!")

Twelve running with River ("Stop holding my hand! People don't do that to me!")

Nine meeting Rose establishes this idea of protection: The Doctor taking care of someone by leading them away from danger. The other two examples are subversions of that idea: Clara and River are now leading The Doctor out of danger. Same principle here, except here it has a bit more context behind it. Clara and River subverting that act of protection made sense given who they were: Clara as an echo across The Doctor’s time stream knew who The Doctor was and what they needed, even if she didn’t know it consciously when the moment happened. River as The Doctor’s wife also knew who they were and what they needed at the time. 

By connecting Rogue’s action of taking Fifteen’s hand and running to Clara and River, it not only again connects Fifteen and Rogue to previous romantic relationships, but it also shows Rogue learning from his mistake. Rogue’s mistake in the proposal scene was him not figuring out what Fifteen needed at that moment, it was a major miscommunication. Now, at this moment, Rogue is starting to figure out what he needs to do. He is, to use relationship lingo, "shelving his agenda" to help the Doctor. 

And that progression continues through the last leg of the episode, including the moment when Fifteen thinks Ruby is dead. I’ve always found this moment in particular so fascinating because of how loud it is metaphorically for both characters. Fifteen is taking off the mask of coolness and revealing that Doctor™ anger. This is a complete switch-up from what he’s been like throughout most of the episode. Yet when he lets out that chilling line, “Good. That’s a long time to suffer.” Rogue doesn’t look all that scared or mad at him. 

The face Rogue makes here looks far closer to a resigned sadness, almost like he knew that he would have that reaction. Keep in mind that Rogue knows nothing about The Doctor at their worst, all that he knows right now is that they lost “everyone”. Compare that with Donna, who was outright terrified of The Doctor when at their worst (for good reason though). 

Rogue isn’t surprised by this at all. He’s not asking “What happened to this person in front of me?”, he’s realizing “This is how much he cares about his best friend.” He’s seeing the depth of this person’s love that is inexorably linked to the depth of his grief, and is realizing he can’t allow that grief to corrupt this person he’s grown to love, even if it means endangering himself. Which is exactly what ends up happening.

This is where the theme of masks finally pays off. At the beginning of the episode, both Rogue and Fifteen are wearing their masks (cold, uncaring bounty hunter, and flirtatious partygoer). Those masks started to come down, but that got messed up thanks to miscommunication. Rogue didn’t understand what The Doctor needed from him, causing their trauma to resurface and The Doctor ran away from having to deal with that grief. This final scene is them being completely honest with each other. Rogue asks him “Can you lose your friend to save the world?”, and Fifteen tells him the truth. He can’t, he can’t let that happen again. And Rogue understands that, he finally knows what needs to be done. And so he kisses him. Why did Rogue kiss him? Again, it’s a repeat of a previous scene, this time the dance. Rogue is comfortable putting on a mask/doing something dishonest when there’s an aspect of truth to it. Even if they danced together to serve a lie, it still was a moment powered by romantic feelings. Same with the kiss. Rogue had wanted to kiss him, so he felt comfortable doing something with an ulterior motive (taking the button from him) because it was also something he would’ve wanted to do regardless of the situation. 

But why did Rogue do it? The one line that I kept thinking of in summing up the intent behind Rogue's sacrifice was, ironically, from Frozen: "Love is...putting someone else's needs before yours”. Essentially, shelving your agenda, like we’ve been saying. Back in the proposal scene, Rogue’s mess up was not figuring out what Fifteen needed out of him at that moment. Fifteen needed him to play along in faking and instead, Rogue heel turned into a lot of trauma for The Doctor. So now, after seeing how important Ruby was to Fifteen, so important that he was willing to torture The Chuldur out of grief, Rogue is putting The Doctor’s needs before his own and stopping him from having to choose between her and the world. It's also why Rogue wiping away his tears before the kiss was so crazy because that's normally the Doctor's job. The Doctor is normally the one who turns sadness into hope. This time, someone else is doing that for him.

(credit to ngatwa again)

The greatest act of love in the episode was not the proposal, it was the sacrifice.

To close our tale, let us circle back to talking about Fifteen’s character arc. I opened this essay by talking about Fifteen’s main character flaw being a contradiction: both valuing emotional intimacy and running from it. That doesn’t seem to change by the end of this episode, so much so that Ruby forces Fifteen to take a moment and mourn Rogue’s loss when he wants to steamroll forward. But there’s one little detail left: Fifteen kept the ring. Not only kept it but is wearing it in the season finale to the point of even playing with it like a nervous tick. 

That bond, that relationship was so important to him that he doesn’t allow himself to ignore it. It’s only after he has that hug with Ruby that he pulls out the ring and chooses to wear it. Rogue is the one thing Fifteen won’t run away from because what they had wasn’t fake. It was real. 

Rogue, the supposed bounty hunter who only cared about wealth, loved The Doctor so much that he was willing to give up his life for his friend. The Doctor, the supposed Time Lord who flees from attachment, loves Rogue enough to remember him every day.  

I ask you, gentle readers, how could one resist a love story like that?

NOTE: some extra bits I wanted to include that I couldn’t fit anywhere else: I’m such a sucker for color symbolism, and having Rogue wear blue in contrast to Fifteen’s normally warm color palette, as well as blue being the color of The TARDIS…it just makes me feel things, ya’ know? 

Also, by not gendering Rogue’s previous partner, only ever using they/them pronouns, it helps add to the relationship in a social commentary way. It subtly shows that Rogue already has experience/is attracted to people who on some level defy gender norms, which helps prime the audience to buy Rogue accepting/liking The Doctor being able to change gender when regenerating.

Essentially, I'm insane over these two, and I need them back on screen as soon as possible.

[luciusdaskel]

Because this psychology stuff is fun, how about an MK?

Since people seem to like the Macaque episode analysis, I'mma do Monkey MK. Specifically Episode 4 of Season 5.

Ok this turned into an entire thing that's not just that ep lmao

I made a "keep reading" line because holy hell is this post long- (Also I just wanted this posted so no fancy quote pictures this time- rip-)

Well first and foremost, we need to identify roughly MK's mental state and make a rough blueprint of it all.

First event that really kicks off MK's traumatic run is the Macaque episode. Sure there's minor details that came before but if you notice, since that episode, MK has not been the same even if it's a very tiny difference.

I guess a minor piece that's important for this is the Spider Queen special, mostly for one line. "Wow MK you're handling your spider phobia really well!" "I'm internalizing a lot of things right now-"

A minor piece is Wukong's leave in sleep bug, but more important for an in-depth analysis of MK.

Then the next one is Minor scale, which is Episode 5 of Season 2, aka when MK meets LBD, which is when she gets into his head.

LBD mixed with Macaque's past grooming makes MK very anxious, which is understandable. Thus creating a sense of fear.

Oh also Shadow play has some play in it but it just shows more frustration and worries, which he's likely been suppressing at this point. Also a bit more grooming, maybe? Idk gonna look at that later lol.

The entirety of season 3 but notably Smartie kid, aka episode 3, I guess The Winning Side, aka episode 4, The King The prince and the shadow, aka episode 9, the Samahdi Fire, aka episode 10, and of course the special for the infamous "For destiny, right?" "No, to pain" scene.

Then we catch up with MK's worries and doubts in Episode 1 of Season 4. The end of how me the monster and Pitiful creatures, aka episode 6 and 7. The brotherhood, aka episode 9, is notable because MK isolates himself for the first time. The fight with Azure and the end of it in Season 4's special.

Finally we are at Stings that bind, aka episode 1 of season 5, for all this trauma's response that's in MK, then sprinkle fear from Temple of the goddess, aka episode 3, and we got were MK is at in episode 4, which is our analysis.

So we have a map of sorts, showing how MK's mental health has declined and how his own thoughts started to turn against him. Why did I go over this before the monkey? Well, I just wanted to make sure we got our bases covered lol

So what is this Monkey form? Why do I want to analyze it specifically? Well... I'm sure it's no surprise it's a great representation of Carl Jung's Shadow Self theory (a bit ironic if you ask me). This leads it to be a great representation of how intrusive thoughts can break you down, creating depression, self-destruction, unstable identity, imposter syndrome, spirals, isolation, and more. Thus a great representation of of these mental health issues as a whole in my opinion.

So what even is a shadow self? Well, a shadow self isn't inherently bad. It's a part of you that is a mix of desires, weaknesses, and instincts. Actually there are good ones that provide creativity, "that gut feeling" instincts, and some insights like constructive criticism, and embarrassment (I know it feels bad but it IS a good emotion. Otherwise you'd probably do that embarrassing thing again and again.) However, Carl Jung, the founder of this psychological theory, primarily focused on the negative aspect of it, which is exactly what Monkey MK has devolved into for MK. These shadows are the manifestation of your intrusive thoughts, destructive behaviors, negative emotions, and suppressed traits and thoughts.

A good example I can think of on exactly what creates a shadow is from Inside Out 2. They have a dam of memories they just throw away because they want to repress them, unintentionally leading up to the climax. I won't spoil it but just know that letting those thoughts form into Riley's sense of self did wonders for her future and her health. Granted because it's a movie the process is very quick compared to real life, but you get my point.

MK has been making this dam of his trauma since Season 1. Which accumulated into Monkey MK. Well... he tried to face it but he was facing the wrong thing, but a positive is a positive. Which was in the Spider Queen special, he didn't confront this shadow but he did confront himself on his own assertiveness and reflected on himself. If only he did that again before season 5... With the grooming from Macaque, it made MK more susceptible to LBD's manipulations and her own grooming. Grooming lower's one's defenses or can impair a lot of thinking processes, and I can see one of the effects of Mac's grooming making MK unprepared mentally for stress and or blows to his self-esteem. For more information, I highly recommend you read over my Macaque episode analysis. The few reblogs by @zephyrusswinds goes into detail about MK's feelings and I just add on to their words.

This link has all the reblogs I'd like you to read.

As pointed out in that post, MK doesn't open up about his issues, likely because of Macaque's influence because the nature of grooming, and this habit carries on throughout the series. Before hand MK had a fairly open communication, mostly referring to episode 2. He had issues saying no to Mei and Sandy but also he easily opened up to Tang when Tang asked what was wrong. On top this, of his desire to help people turning into a desperate need. So with these two things combined, MK has a cocktail of dodging his issues, inflamed people pleasing, and a newfound savior complex. That's not even covering MK in the focus episode, where he literally has no way of dealing with stress until Wukong gave him that lesson.

Oh yeah, also the part about internalizing? It's ok to use your fear as motivation, but internalizing and, presumably, never addressing it only leads to problems. This also shows that internalizing things has been happening since Season 2. Then with Macaque's influence, MK then get easily manipulated by LBD. Her words get to him and makes the already dark void that Macaque planted bigger. He needs to be a good person, but also what if he's not and Monkey King chose wrong because of it? This creates anxiety and a deeper need to be good. Not quite until he self-destructs, not yet anyways. This anxiety is openly expressed to Macaque, after pushing MK to express it and likely only making him want to close up more. I mean, I'd not want to dump my insecurities on my abuser and especially when he can pretend to be my mentor, a person I trust. That creates trust issues and a more emotionally isolated person.

Oh boy with Smartie kid MK feels like he needs to be useful to the group now that he doesn't have powers. He often plays off stress and other negative emotions with humor and I can't think of a more humorous yet stressful time for MK. He just lost his powers, he knows Macaque is after them, everyone is over heating- It's just not a good time, so he becomes the smart one most likely for laughs. Then the winning side had Macaque taunt MK until he got his powers, also note his own words of "[...] And gold vision? That's like the baby power, and I can't even do that! I'm not even as good as a baby!" The Samahdi fire episode has MK forced to watch as his best friend is hurt AND on top of it both her and his mentor fly off. This would just be painful in it's own right, but also consider MK, at this point, feels like he needs to help everyone plus his best friend. He has a savior complex by this point, I feel, and when you can't help someone, it hurts like a papercut in lemon juice. Because what good are you if you can help others, especially when someone needs you the most. MK risked his life to save Mei because that fire can kill even Wuong, just for her to fly off to avoid hurting him.

In the end all is good of course, LBD gets her ass handed to her after MK made a plan. Not gonna cover the Macaque part since he doesn't affect his mental health. Then LBD parts with him with one last piece of manipulation "it all leads to pain". MK, with his savior complex, internalizes her words and BOY HOWDY DOES IT AFFECT HIM.

We see the near direct results of her words afterwards in episode 1 of season 4 where it's clear MK feels like he is responsible for everything wrong. This is his savior complex at full display. He feels so much guilt and now it's starting to eat him alive. He represses it until the ink scroll starts to notice him and break him more. Now his shadow has a form, and the ink scroll took that form. It's possible originally was closer to Wukong or Macaque (placing bets on it being Mac), but the scroll made it more like MK to mess with him. Regardless- It has a form now.

The rest we all know, MK commits a Mei and flies off to process things. Then fights Azure and has a ton of fun doing so. Possibly letting all the anger from all the time he's been manipulated lose, creating release and enjoyment. On top of the fact MK always has loved beating the snot out of his enemies- Then MK gets scared of this power and shuts down. All of episode 1 of season 5 is MK literally running dry to escape and dissociate from his own power.

MK was likely trying to tire himself out so he'd not have the energy to be that strong again, on top of trying to run from his thoughts. Making himself lowkey a workaholic and absolutely destroying his health. ... Which is a different topic as well but to recap, the first two days of no sleep aren't too bad but you'll have mircosleeps, which we see MK having, by the second. By the third day, healthline says one might experience depersonalization, anxiety, distortions in how they perceive the world, and more. And it just gets worse the more you don't sleep.

That's also neglecting that not sleeping makes you as functional-able as an intoxicated person.

This is from Cleveland Clinic, a medial website.

Sooo... MK's going through a rough time emotionally AND physically because of his own self-destruction.

So he's self-destructing before he even gets to the suicidal point. Goodie. Once he gets to Sandy and the black tortoise, his shadow self has grown genuinely out of control. By the start of season 5, it's morphed from anxiety to depression and self-destruction, and from depression to suicidal thoughts after the Vermillion bird.

HOW TIME FOR THE HECKIN EPISODE-

So the main thing of the episode is to control yourself by using mediation and the same method used in shadow working, or therapy focused on your shadow.

Monkey MK is the shadow and we already covered how MK has been repressing and Monkey MK has been growing stronger-

The parts that Monkey MK points out is MK's lust for the strength fighting gives him and how addicting his chaotic power is. I have a theory on how chaos is like a drug but that's for another analysis. Then once MK fights against it, after some support from Sandy, by admitting that his shadow self is part of him.

"You're just a part of who I am!" "Rage? Fear? Desperation?" "Yes!"

Then after that he says to himself "You're me, but I'm in control." which is exactly what shadow work says.

This is from Psychology Today.

The entire scene is one of many shadow working sessions MK will need to go through but this first one was the first big step to him accepting himself.

However, Sandy is right at the end, that was not a good or proper session, but it did help MK in the end to have that first step in shadow working and learning to accept himself.

Just remember if you are going to attempt shadow work, just remember that it IS difficult to face your shadow because it's literally facing the part of yourself you might dislike or even hate. So, as Sandy said, it's a process and you work at it every day.

TLDR; I rambled about MK's mental health issues, what is a shadow self and why Monkey MK is a shadow, and how the episode reflects shadow self therapy, aka shadow work. (Also I made this a few months ago and I just finished it just now lol)