#unrequired love

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗣𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗟𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗛

　　　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: The Hanahaki Disease is a rare illness where the patient throws up and coughs flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. In order to fully recover from the disease, it's necessary that the one they're in love with fall in love with them too. Or to fall in love with somebody else.

WARNING: Throwing up, blood, stomachaches, lung aches, one-sided love, crying, death talk. PURE ANGST, with a happy ending.

REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

Part 2

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Panting and covered in a thin layer of sweat, Y/N found herself emerging from the whirlwind of bad memories that enveloped her sleep. Her heart hammered in her chest, echoing in the silence of the night. With numb hands, she reached for the bedside lamp, bathing the room in soft yellow light.

Her heart seemed to be squeezed as the images still danced in her mind, an unwanted reminder of the emotional turmoil that consumed her.

In the center of his room, Y/N remembers seeing Chris sitting on his own bed with a relaxed expression. Next to him is another girl, perfect, with long hair and a radiant smile, who seems too comfortable in his presence. Their gaze met briefly with a complicity she knew very well, but at that moment, it cut through her like a sharp blade. His sparkling blue eyes carried a glow of intense love that she understood well because she saw it in her own eyes every time she thought of him.

Y/N closed her eyes tightly, running her trembling fingers through her hair, trying to ground herself when a sensation that was already quite common for her captured her throat. Coughing softly, she felt something strange shifting from her lungs. A heavy sigh escaped her nostrils at the sight of small rose petals cascading onto the fabric of the sheet covering her legs.

The initial feeling of sameness quickly turned into panic as she felt increasingly suffocated. The petals continued to sprout, climbing up her throat like a reverse slide and sliping from her lips between each cough, like a dark warning of an unrequited love that was eating away at her insides.

In a moment of frightening lucidity, she seemed to remind herself that this was just another attack of the dreaded Hanahaki disease. Flower petals, once symbols of beauty and romance, have become signs of a silent curse for Y/N weeks before.

The famous, but so rare illness that haunted the passionate hearts of those who dared to love without restrictions. When a soul found itself consumed by unrequited love, its body rebelled, expelling flowers and petals through painful coughs, a physical testimony to the deep emotional wounds that afflicted the heart.

It was quite hypocritical of the universe to create such a disease that affected those who love. Suffering from unrequited love was already too much, but apparently not enough.

Each cough was an explosion of petals that escaped her slightly bruised lips, dark red blood vibrating against the yellowish light, leaving a messy and disgusting trail. Y/N clenched her hands into fists on her sides, feeling her limbs give involuntary spasms, the flowers gathering on the bed around her more and more.

The strange, distressing sound of coughing echoed through the hallway of her house, cutting through the silence like a cry of distress. Nick, who was staying in the guest room - better known as his own room - wakes up suddenly.

His brain barely had time to register his sleepy mind or what time it was, worry consuming him as soon as his eyes opened, getting up from the bed abruptly. His feet tripped over the pieces of clothing thrown on the floor while his hands rested momentarily on the wall decorated with posters, trying to regain his balance.

The boy runs towards his best friend's room blindly, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He pushes the door open hard, finding the devastating scene. Y/N was above her own bed, curled in on herself, surrounded by a sea of ​​petals, her face contorted in agony.

Without hesitation, Nick approaches, calls for her name escaping his mouth, desperately seeking a way to ease her pain.

"Shh, I'm here, I'm here." Nick whispers softly, kneeling on the floor next to her body and reaching out to gently stroke her back with one of his hands, his other one hovering over the sheets, feeling imposing at the sight of the confusing and unlikely mess of blood. "It's going to be okay, I promise."

With difficulty, Y/N looks up to meet the blue ones looking back at her, her teary eyes reflecting a mixture of pain and gratitude.

"Nick, I don't know what to do anymore..." She murmurs, her voice weak and shaky. Nick smiles tenderly in response, his free hand traveling to her clenched one, grabbing it firmly.

"Let's take one step at a time, okay? First, let's help you calm down." He carefully helps her to her feet, guiding her to the bathroom while whispering words of comfort.

Upon entering the small room, the brunette quickly guides her to sit on the closed lid of the toilet, moving nimbly to turn on the bathtub with warm water, adding a few drops of lavender essential oil that he knows is her favorite, with the intention of helping her body relax.

"Come here." Nick helps her stand again, helping her trembling arms undress her body, keeping it covered only by her underwear. "Let the water soothe you."

He holds her right hand firmly, guiding her until she sinks into the hot water. A sigh scapes Y/N's lips, feeling the heat enveloping her tense limbs as Nick sits on the floor beside the bathtub edge, ready to help her with the necessary.

"You will be okay." Nick whispers gently, watching the girl close her eyes and try to control her coughs.

While he offers her support with a calm aura never seen before in Nicolas Sturniolo, his heart is torn between care for her and a fierce anger toward his own brother that boils inside him, fueled by pain to see her in that state and injustice by what he witnessed every day since Y/N discovered the consequences of her unrequited love.

Nick holds himself back from screaming, from letting his fury consume all the space between them. But even in his silence, the girl could feel the tension emanating from his body, the intensity of his emotions throbbing in the air.

Nick vividly remembered the day he discovered the terrible truth about the Hanahaki disease that afflicted his best friend. He could almost see her anguished expression again, the silent tears that ran down her face as she confessed what a torment her unrequited passion had become. The memory of the revelation echoed in his mind like an incessant echo, mixing with Chris's trembling image.

Nick quickly shook his head, expelling the bad thoughts and feelings, focusing all his attention on the girl in front of him.

After Y/N had calmed down a bit, he helped her out of the tub, wrapping her in a soft towel before guiding her back to the bedroom, where he had her sit on one of her pink puffs, seeking for a comfortable set of sweatshirts, ironically, from Fresh Love in her closet.

"Are you feeling any better?" Nick asks her softly after making sure that her body was already covered in the warm outfit, his eyes observing her figure hugging the wet towel in her arms as if it were a teddy bear.

"A little." Her voice came out hoarse and worn out by the force she exerted when expelling the petals and flowers, feeling her throat scratchy with each breath.

"Come on, let's change the sheets so you can go back to sleep. You need the rest more than ever right now."

Together, they remade the bed, removing the scattered petals and replacing the sheets with fresh, clean ones, where the two lay down together, Y/N gently asking Nick not to leave her alone again.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The next day, Tuesday, after a restless night, Y/N and Nick headed to his house. It was recording day, and the oldest triplet couldn't find the courage to leave her behind. The atmosphere inside the car was tense but comforting. The girl drove cautiously, keeping close attention to the sensations in her body.

Upon climbing the entrance stairs, the two were greeted by the random sounds of a movie that escaped from the television sneakers and the silly fights between Chris and Matt, who were in the living room, thrown comfortably on the soft couch.

The wooden kitchen table was already filled with 21 different drinks that the boys would have to try and blindly guess the brand and flavor for that Wednesday video

YN tried to smile in greeting, but the weight on her chest seemed to suffocate her. A small "hi" escaped her lips, her hands quick to place her purse on the floor, next to the couch, before sitting on the other end of the upholstery, bringing her legs together beneath her body.

As she watched the triplets go over what would be done on the video, her gaze inevitably turned to Chris. Her heart sank as she saw him break into the most radiant smile at the mention of his girlfriend after Matt said something that reminded him of her. Every word that escaped his lips was like an arrow piercing her soul, reminding herself of the cruel reality that he belonged to someone else.

Y/N quickly looked away, trying to hide the anguish that was boiling inside her, but every passionate detail he shared about the other girl only intensified her own silent pain. She found herself caught in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions, desperately wishing he could see her while fighting the sadness of knowing that would never happen.

And then it happened. A sudden coughing fit took her by surprise, shaking her body violently. The girl bent her upper body, undoing her intertwined legs and resting the soles of her feet on the floor, panting as the three brothers turned to her with concern. She quickly brought her right hand to her mouth, covering it.

"Is everything okay, YN?" Chris asked, frowning as his eyes ran over her figure.

Y/N tried to smile, but another wave of coughing overcame her. It was as if invisible thorns were piercing her lungs, tearing her from the inside.

"I...I'm fine." The girl muttered, struggling to catch her breath. Her eyes quickly found her palm, blood smeared on her skin, along with small broken petals. She swallowed hard, struggling to control her overflowing emotions. "I think... I need some air." Finally, she confessed, her voice shaking.

Without hesitation, Matt suddenly got up from his seat, walking towards her with agile steps, stopping in front of her body and extending his right hand, offering her help.

"Come with me." The brunette suggested softly, grasping her hand and guiding her out of the room slowly, Chris's confused question about what was happening fading behind their backs.

The two went down to the garage, and despite the pain in her body, Y/N smiled as she stepped foot in the room that was so common, but that meant so much to them. Sunlight filtered between the small windows of the gate, naturally illuminating the space that became small with the van.

Together, they sat on the floor, their backs against the back of the car, the silence comforting as she tried to calm her rapid breathing. Matt remained by her side, offering her silent comfort, his eyes conveying deep empathy, concern, and a hint of something that, despite it being hypocritical of her, Y/N didn't seem to recognize.

"You know..." Matt began, his soft voice breaking through as he fixed his eyes on the gate in front of his outstretched feet. "You could still consider having surgery to remove the flowers."

Y/N nodded slowly, pondering his suggestion.

"I know." She murmured, her voice thick with resignation. "But... I don't know if I can. I don't want to lose our memories."

Matt frowned, his orbs traveling to her side profile, running over every little detail momentarily.

"I understand." He whispered, even if internally, he didn't completely. How could he understand that the love of his life preferred to suffer in an unimaginable way for someone who didn't look at her in the same way that he himself did? "But you know that if you keep going in that way, it will only get worse."

Y/N looked down, tears starting to pool in her eyes. She knew what Matt was talking about.

Hanahaki disease doesn't have many cures, but those that did exist were intense; Having surgery to remove the flowers and, consequently, forget about the love feeling and all the memories that surround it, or having the feeling be reciprocated, or survive with that until your body can't take it anymore.

She knew that if she didn't remove the flowers, she would die. Eventually.

"I know." She admitted, her voice shaking slightly. "But... I can't, Matt. The memories with him, with you two... they mean so much to me. I can't just give them up."

Matt nodded momentarily, his own anguish rising in his chest along with the urge to scream to the seven seas how much he loved her and that he was there to give her the love she deserved.

It was an indescribable pain, witnessing the girl he loved more than anything in the world be consumed by a passion that wasn't towards him, and Matt wished with all his being that he could ease her suffering, even if it meant sacrificing his own heart.

"He's an idiot. For not seeing you, I mean." The brunette muttered, lowering his gaze to the ground between his legs. "He's lucky to have your eyes on him and to receive a love like yours."

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Days turned into weeks, and Y/N's condition only seemed to worsen, leaving her increasingly weak and vulnerable. Vomiting entire flowers became a frequent occurrence, a constant reminder of her miserable situation.

Now, she was no longer left unsupervised, Matt and Nick taking turns looking after her, despite her complaints and constant fear of becoming a burden.

On a particularly difficult night, she was at their house, in Matt's room, where she would sleep since Nick needed to edit the last Cut The Camera podcast.

The sound of loud laughter came from the living room next to the small hall that led to where she was; Chris and his girlfriend were playing some video game on the television. The sound was like a knife to the heart, and Y/N couldn't help but curl up beneath the thick duvet, feeling a wave of nausea and despair approaching her.

Matt, who was sitting in his gaming chair while answering some emails on his computer, soon realized her imminent agony, rising from the chair abruptly as violent coughs echoed through the walls of his room.

"Hey, hey, I'm here." Matt crouched on the floor next to her body, murmuring softly. His blue eyes ran over her fragile figure while his hand quickly found home on her back, massaging the covered skin.

Carefully, Matt pulled the duvet down her body, straightening his posture and picking her up in his arms, quickly carrying her into his bathroom. The boy helped her sit on the edge of his bathtub comfortably, with her face above the open toilet.

The boy gathered the loose strands of her hair into a loose ponytail secured by his right hand. He grabbed the washcloth from the sink, dipping it into the running water of the tap before pressing the wet fabric over her forehead.

"That's it, let it all out, sweetheart." He whispered, his voice soft like a comforting breeze.

His blue eyes squeezed shut as the sound of a loud sob followed one of her coughs, his own eyes filling with tears. Matt caught his bottom lip between his teeth in a death grip, swallowing back his sobs.

As the coughs slowly subsided, Y/N felt relief seep into her being, small sniffling escaping her nose while thin tears ran down her reddened cheeks, a deep sense of tiredness taking over her body. She felt completely exhausted.

"Are you feeling like throwing up again?" Matt asked gently, stroking her shoulders with his free hand, receiving a small shake of head in return. "Okay, do you want to go back to bed?"

"I... I don't want to get the sheets dirty if... If another crisis comes." She murmured, her voice weak and tired.

Matt nodded understandingly, a gleam of determination in his eyes. He quickly reached out with his hand that was previously on her back, pressing the flush and closing the toilet lid.

"You're okay." The boy whispered, his voice soft like a comforting breeze. "Come here."

He settled on the cold bathroom floor, resting his back against the freezing walls. Matt gently pulled her to sit next to him, his arms wrapping around her shoulders in a protective hug.

Y/N leaned against him, laying her head on his right shoulder and looping her arms weakly around his torso, feeling the comforting warmth of his body against hers. Their hearts beat in unison, sharing the weight of their worries, fears, and loves.

"Sleep, honey. I'll be right here when you wake up." He murmured softly in her ear, his words echoing almost as a promise of comfort and safety.

For a moment, Y/N allowed herself to close her eyes, letting herself be carried away by the feeling of peace that Matt's arms gave her, which she never felt anywhere else. Her breathing began to get lighter, indicating that sleep was finally approaching.

With a heart heavy with love, Matt gently leaned his head over hers, his lips delicately brushing her hair as he whispered words of love in the silence of the bathroom, believing that the girl was sleeping.

"If you only knew how much I could love you the way you deserve..." He murmured in a soft, loving tone. "I love you more than anything in this world, and I promise to take care of you forever, even when you are not aware of it."

The girl was slightly startled when she heard the words, her heart beating wildly in her chest and surprise flooding her mind. She expected everything but that. However, she remained quiet, savoring the comforting warmth of his arms and words, which unconsciously touched her heart in a different way. A good way.

Maybe the universe had better things for them.

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[sl8tersstuff]

We’ll never work because I hate everything except you

and you love everything expect me.

[notsofrozt]

Please recommend me animation tutorials, I have no idea what I'm doing.

I made this as a gift for a friend whos writing a Chimera song-fic, which started out as Dragonfruit with (supposedly) unrequited Spicynoodles. Yes, angst, drama, mutual pining, the good stuff.

It's not out yet, but oh well. I'm going to promote it in the meantime.

[sijalmk]

Old school love. No texting, but exchanging warm glances across the hallways. Count the hours and the days to see you again. Writing secret letters, seeing you in each poem, book, and song. Sweet and surreal.

[trashmuth]

Fleabag 2x06 / The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Steven Chbosky / Skins 3x08 /  A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare / Stranger Things 4x03 / Fleabag 2x04 / I Love You Without Knowing How by Pablo Neruda / Amarillis crowning Mirtillo (1650) by Jacob van Loo   / Hannibal 2x13 / Hannibal 3x13

[gazinguponmymind]

This is my second time trying to write something fully in english, i'm sorry for the mistakes. Thank you for taking your time to read this, i couldn't stop thinking about Doah and Suji, so for me and for a friend i decided to write a little something.

I also wanted to share to all Doah x Suji enjoyers out there, i hope you enjoy!!!!

YOU ARE INVITED!

CLASS REUNION OF THE HAPPY CLASS

MIND-BLOWING DELICIOUS RESTAURANT 3RD FLOOR, 3PM

Doah looked at her phone screen for a few minutes before putting it down. A sight escaped from her lips as she took off her glasses and started to take her clothes off, after the long and stressing day she had, she deserved a good and relaxing shower.

Such useless matters shouldn't be her top priority now, no class reunion was worth having to travel all the way back to South Korea, specially not the Happy Class. None of those people were worth her time nor the money she'd have to spend.

No one.

The heir finally got inside the bathroom, turned on the shower making sure the water was cold - she liked to take cold showers after stressing days - and got inside the box.

Doah let out a sight of pure relief. The now twenty-three year old woman close her eyes and let her thoughts wander through the memories she once promise to forget. Perhaps she should've changed her number years ago, she concluded.

But she didn't, why?

Oh...

Right.

Because of her.

Her eyes opened. Maybe there was someone who was worth spending that amount of money for a class reunion after all.

Seong Suji.

The transfer student that changed the Happy Class and those in it. That defying charismatic girl who stood up for herself and her friends, the one who beat Baek Harin in her own game.

The girl who made Doah's heart flutter for the first time, who made her think how would it feel to kiss her lips and have her sharp gaze direct at her.

Yes, that one.

Doah turned the shower off, her vision blurred and her heart racing at the simple thought of seeing Seong Suji once again.

Maybe she should go to this class reunion, although she wasn't pleased with the idea of seeing some old faces there, it would be worth in the end if she got a chance of seeing Suji again.

Suji was worth it.

Her heart skipped a beat at the thought, Doah shook her head and grabbed the towell. After all these years and Suji still had this kind of influence on her, it was shameful, really. She lost her chance all those years ago, she knew that.

A memory flashed in her mind, a very clear one of Suji and Jaeun too close for her liking.

If she ever had any chance to begin with.

She sighed once again. She should know better, she truly should. Doah decided to think about this matter later. She needed a good night rest first.

°°°°

She was late.

Of course she was late. She was still thinking wether she should be here or not. She looked at the restaurant, it was a filthy classy one, those types of places that only rich people would frequent. It did made sense thought, when she thought about who sent the invitation.

Did they change at all?

Doah sighed, and walked in. She would regret it, she knew, but maybe it wouldn't be that big of a regret.

The first thing she noticed was they were all grown ups now. Of course they were, but it felt a bit surreal to realize that. How many years had passed again?

Her eyes analized the whole place, she saw the same people who used to frequent High School with her, the same smiles, same eyes, same people, but older.

She was already regretting it.

"It costs a lot to eat here!" She heard someone say, she thought it was a familiar voice, but more mature. When she looked at the direction of the person...

Oh. Park Jieyong. She seemed to be talking to someone else.

"It costs around 300.000 won per person." Oh Seonga answered shocked, but seemed excited.

"Are you serious?" Choi Yuhyeon said and looked around surprised.

"My boyfriend was so shocked when he heard we'll be having our reunion here!" Doah didn't quite get who said that, all these excited women's voices were all started to sound the same.

"The restaurant is what i came for!" One of them started to take pictures excitedly.

"Everything here is so photo worthy!" A high picthed exclamation was heard.

Why was she here again?

Doah walked away from these people and, again, looked around one last time. She would not spend anymore minutes in this place.

What was she expecting anyway? But, to be honest with herself, from them she didn't expect anything. She wasn't here to see anyone else, but her.

Her.

Seong Suji.

The one who she looked across the room. And she was looking at her as well.

Doah's heart fluttered in her chest. Suji still had the same effect on her after all this time, it seemed. She couldn't take her eyes off the girl, who was also staring back at her questionly.

Doah didn't quite noticed that she might be staring a bit too much until Suji asked, "Umm, got something to tell me?".

Doah blinked once, and then again. Cleared her throat and said a weak and ashamed "Hey." back at the girl.

For a few seconds she felt as if she was the same inexperienced teenager trying (and failing) to talk with a pretty girl all over again. Doah wanted to fly back to United States as soon as she could, god, she thought she could actually throw herself off the plane at this point.

Suji analized her head to toe and maybe, just maybe, Doah felt her face getting hotter because of this. Suji laughed.

"Hey." She said back at her, a small smile on her face. "You're here."

It was a statement, Doah noticed. But what it meant, she had no idea.

"I am. I was considering not coming, but... Suddenly having an excuse to get away from US was a good ideia." Doah tried to joke around, emphasis on tried.

"The states? Wow. I heard it's pretty hard to get into med school there." Suji said looking at the table, she always seemed to be deep in thought, Doah remembered that. "That's why..." She seemed to say that more to herself.

Suji was always easy and hard to read in Doah's eyes, she seemed to be less tricky, more direct instead of going around in circles like most people. So, this time, it did get Doah a bit speechless and curious. That's why what? What was she trying to say?

"So, did you come to Korea on leave of absense?" Suji finally speaked after a few seconds, she seemed to be organizing her thoughts.

"No, i'm here on a short visit." Doah answered while sitting by Suji's side. She locked eyes with the red haired girl, a smile on her face. "I fly back tonight."

She might have gone crazy, but for a single moment Doah could swear on her mother's name that she saw something flash on Suji's eyes. Something like... Disappointment? Sadness?

She heard someone clearing their throat by her side and, a bit surprised, she noticed someone sitting on that table as well. Song Jaehyung.

"Mind if i sit?" Doah decide to ask since she was a bit impolite before. It was her fault she only had eyes for Suji and sort of forgot other people's presence.

"Oh, go ahead." Jaehyung answered sipping a bit of her glass.

Doah didn't quite understand, but Jaehyung seemed to be looking at Suji sending some sort of signal. Where they close? Doah did remember Jaehyung being attached to Jaeun wherever she went, sometimes a bit too much, but she didn't have a memory of Suji and Jaehyung being so close.

Suji seemed confused, but looked back at the woman. Maybe they were indeed close after all, Doah wouldn't know.

"I'm here to see you." Doah said serving herself a glass of wine, she was always straightfoward. "I wanted to know how you were doing."

Once again, they looked at each other. Suji seemed surprised, but her eyes were shining with fondness. Doah smiled at her, a smile she could only show to Suji. And maybe Jaehyung, but she wasn't really paying attention to the woman by her side.

She saw Suji's cheeks turn slightly red.

Oh... She was blushing because of Doah? Maybe it was childish, but Doah did feel proud of that.

Suji cleared her throat and smiled back a Doah, a smile Doah could swear was the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. And maybe, just maybe, her heart fluttered once again because of Seong Suji.

"Well, i can't let your travel go to waste." Suji said putting a strand of hair behind her ear and, maybe, just maybe, Doah was admiring how beautiful she was at the moment. "So, can i have your number?"

Maybe this made Doah's heart go crazy in her chest and, just maybe, she felt her cheeks burning hot. So, she took the phone out of her pocket and extended towards Suji.

"I thought you would never ask."

°°°

The reunion wasn't that much of waste, she concluded. She got to talk with Suji for a long period of time, almost all afternoon, she might have drank a few glasses of wine admist the talking, but she was fine.

Doah also witnessed Jaehyung being a big flirt to the waitress and Suji rolling her eyes at her friend's antics. Her friend, yes, because Doah also learned that Suji and Jaehyung were, in fact, pretty close.

She did felt a pang of jealousy at that, but nothing serious.

She talked a bit about herself and how life in United States was, Suji seemed interested in her more than she thought she would be. Jaehyung also made her talk about her love life (which was nonexistent) and Seong Suji seemed to pay close attention when Doah revealed a few flings she had with some women in US.

Jaehyung seemed somewhat proud of her.

"I knew i could count on you, Seo Doah." She said at some point.

Doah also heard Jaehyung talk about Suji and Jaeun living together and, maybe, she decided to ignore the slight blush in Suji's cheeks at the mention of that girl.

Maybe, just for this few hours, Doah wanted to have some hope, even if led to nothing.

At some point, she had a call and needed to leave. Once again, she left Suji behind to take care of her own things and, once again, she hesitated at every step. She did look back, but Suji was engrossed talking about something else with Jaehyung.

Years had passed but Doah felt as if they were all still the same.

When she came back, Suji was gone.

"You know, you should give up." Jaehyung said, Doah looked at her surprise since, again, she didn't noticed the woman's presence.

"Don't say stuff like that, Jaehyung." Jiae, who appeared by Jaehyung's side, slapped the woman's arm.

"What? She's taken, i'm saying this for your own good, Seo." Jaehyung got up looking directly into Doah's eyes.

"By who? You?" Maybe she did sound a bit challenging, but it wasn't intentional.

Jaehyung only laughed at her while Jiae rolled her eyes and excused her friend. Ah, yes, Jiae was also still their friend after all these years.

No words were exchanged except a polite good bye and that was Doah's cue to leave. She grabbed her things and walked out of that restaurant lost in her thoughts.

Who was Suji with? Does she have a boyfriend? A girlfriend? Then, who was this person?

While she was asking useless questions (although she did know the answer, she just didn't want to admit it to herself) she saw a redhair talking to someone. Someone taller with black hair.

Oh.

She was foolish, she knew that. She was denying it all along, she also knew that.

Suji and Jaeun were happily talking about something, Jaeun's arm around Suji's shoulder, the look in her eyes was bright, she never saw Suji like that. She thought the smile she gave to her was the most beautiful one in the world, but the smile she was giving to Jaeun was so much brighter, honest and beautiful.

Her heart ached at that. She let herself wish that smile was given to her.

Just for a moment Doah let herself wish.

Wish Seong Suji would look at her like that. Wish that Seong Suji would smile at her like that. Wish that she could be the one with her arms around Suji's shoulder making her laugh. She wished she...

Jaeun kissed Suji briefly on the lips, both blushing and smiling from pure happiness.

She wished that.

Doah never wished to be someone so badly.

And they walked away letting her behind. Because, of course, they would. They didn't even know she was watching them from afar, that she was envying them and what they had.

No.

That she was envying Jaeun and who she had.

Doah sighed, checked the hours and called a taxi. She needed to head back to the airport. For the last time, she looked at Suji and Jaeun walking in each others arms.

She never had a chance to begin with.

[acerathia]

"Don't you remember?"

this question is futile, of course you do. you remember his grin, all laughter and tease. you remember the silence between you, the humming of your soul more than enough. you remember the trust you bestowed upon him, like vows, hoping to receive part of his burden, a connection of your hearts.

but you also remember the distance, the impossibility. your pushing and his evasion. and do your linked veins, blood shed and shared, even mean something against that inevitable magnetic field? you push and you bump and you knock, it wasn't enough, it won't ever be enough.

because no matter how your love stretches, bends, folds to infinity, to the moon and back, what power does it possess against the space, against matter, against infinity itself.

deep in your soul, in that fluttering light sitting at the edge of your back, you were aware, you knew you never would have been enough. his trust doesn't fit on top of your heart, the crown of thorns not belonging to you, despite your trust tickling him like a feather, accompanying him at the back of his neck.

you knew he didn't truly trust you, didn't truly love you, to him you were simply someone, anyone, everyone, nothing more than a prick o his thumb, impossible, easy to get rid of.

so yes, you remember. you remember your feelings pushing, pushing something you could never reach.

[frompeachy]

Do you know?

I talk about you like you put the stars in the sky 🌃

[chasingastar]

Symptom of Your Touch

Title: Symptom of Your Touch at AO3 Author: NoxNoir Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Harry Potter Rating: Explicit Word Count: 115,496 Summary:

St. Mungo's Healer Draco Malfoy is used to being pushed to his limits when providing aide to the ailing, but when an unexpected encounter with an out of character Harry Potter throws his life out of balance one night, he is forced to ask himself how far he's willing to push his own levels of discomfort to be of aid to a man in need of help that only he can provide.

And once that need for aid is over, how will he find balance in his life again?

My notes:

I want to share an incredible fanfic that has left me utterly captivated. It's called "Symptom of Your Touch”, this fanfic is a roller coaster of emotions with a love-infused Harry. This story takes us on a thrilling journey where Draco Malfoy must navigate a defiant Harry Potter under the influence of a lust/love potion, forcing Harry to confront his true feelings for Draco. It's honestly one of the best fanfics I've ever read, filled with intense emotions and a gripping narrative that keeps you hooked until the end.

[im-dat-teaser]

sad but accepted it

[sl8tersstuff]

Like parallel lines; we will always be near but never together.

[spilledkiks]

When we’re together, we’re like haha jk unless ,but in my head I’m like haha i love you so fucking much but i can’t tell you that

[starclast]

It was just...too funny 🤣🤣🤣

[zombieskae]

I don’t know any wrong from you. Eyes like fire, room full of books, kiss like the stars aligned on your smile, give me that which i always wanted to have, and i’ll give you my soul my eyes will all be yours, for I have no need to look around.

—Charlie "ZombiesKae" Bloom

[trashmuth]

Blood Wedding and Yerma by Federico García Lorca / Metal Lords (2022), dir. Peter Sollett / Venetia by Georgette Heyer

[oikawasstofu]

Something something angst unrequired love AU in which Kenma likes Kuroo who likes Bokuto who likes Akaashi who likes Kenma