#unless you FORCE her in she barely gonna do anything

[dailykugisaki]

Day 177 & 178 | id in alt

Kugisaki has a formula. If she dosent care, it's not her issue. It has worked.

[bloop-bl00p]

In defense of Octavia

TW: Lots of Trauma Dumping, Mention of abuse

She’s been wronged way too many times in this fandom for some reason. Look at her vibing, how can you hate her?

I’m a fan of Helluva Boss, mainly because of its potential but the quality dropped dead in the second season. We’re gonna talk about a character I’ve seen other fans misinterpreting in favor of the so-great Prince Stolass.

I want to talk about her mainly because I do what I want and because after studying her character I just realized that she’s just like me. Especially regarding her relationship with her father, I see myself in my younger years.

All of that to say…

She has all the right to feel abandoned.

Octavia obliviously has a stronger bond with her father, it shows in her behavior and little background details

When she wants to draw her family, she draws her and Stolas, we mostly see her being happy with him which leads me to think that she’s emotionally neglected by Stella. To her, Octavia is just an ‘egg’ that fell off her and she doesn't care about the impact killing Stolas could have on her daughter.

Despite being emotionally absent, Stella has a much more physical presence than Stolas. Most of the time Stolas is alone in his castle which leads me to think that Octavia is somewhere else with Stella. They did mention the two went on a weekend somewhere. This leads us to this question…

How can Octavia feel more close to her father?

Here’s the thing, I see a lot of my family dynamic here. My mom doesn’t pay attention to me at all, she doesn't want me to bother her and she makes it clear. My dad, however, who’s absent like 90% of the time, always tried to spare time with me. He explained to me that he was working and why he was doing all of this (I was like barely ten) but it never prevented him from trying to play with me, sharing his hobbies, going on a walk, and else.

He was there emotionally and, as a kid who was bullied, had no friends at all, and a mother who didn't give a damn, I cherished this relationship.

I believe the exact same thing happened with Octavia, we never see her with friends or even outside the castle, she’s isolated. Stolas has Prince duties, we’ve seen him carry them in the shows, hence why he’s mostly absent leaving her with her mother. But, at least when she was a kid, he tried to do stuff bringing her to Loo-Loo Land or being the one to comfort her. That is why she clings to her father, he’s the only one who actually shows her love and she’s terrified of losing that.

Regarding her mother, Stella obliviously doesn't care about her so the feeling is reciprocated. From a narrative standpoint, Stella is an unpredictable force of nature getting angry for pretty much anything that doesn't go her way. So Octativa learned to not cross her mother's path.

I know this expression, this is the “Oh fuck… they’re at it again?” she’s used to her mother's constant screaming, she's used to her parents fighting.

She did say they were a time when a parent didn't hate each other, which to me refers to the time when Stolas tanked Stella’s abuse. But, that doesn’t mean that Stella wasn't abusing him in front of a younger Octavia, she’s erratic and they did imply that she can get physical in her toxic behavior. Since Stella was passive, it was probably mostly harmful comments.

Putting personal things here, my mom was also very abusive to my older sibling. Since I was extremely young I learned not to ‘be a burden’ to avoid being abused as well, which includes things like not talking to her unless she does it first. Whether Octavia is aware of the physical abuse or not, she must know enough to know that it’s a bad idea to annoy Stella.

This is the only picture where we see her seemingly having a good relationship with Stolas, which to me feels like she’s faking it considering all we know about the family.

She has a pretty shitty household but her relationship with her father make it bearable until Stolas did a 180°

He randomly started to prioritize Blitz and don’t spill me the bullshit of ‘he’s trying’ he stopped trying long ago.

Let’s analyze this episode by episode:

In Loo Loo Land, Stolas seemingly tries to rebuild a visibly strained relationship with his daughter by bringing her to a park she liked when she was a kid. To this, she immediately responds with an “I’m not 5 anymore.” and an “I rather kill myself.” There’s no room for miscommunication, she doesn't want to go there, and she won’t enjoy it as much as she did back then. Still, he decides to go there, showing that he doesn't listen, and, he brings the one the thing that is currently ruining his already horrible marriage because of his own actions. Blitzø.

He’s trying to spend time with his daughter after a long time (this is mentioned in the episode) and he decides to bring in that one guy he’s hooking up with to deliberately make sexual remarks about him in front of her.

She’s uncomfortable the whole time, not just because she allegedly doesn’t like listening to her father's comments but because she doesn't like the park. She said it, yet Stolas doesn't acknowledge it, he doesn't realize the faces she makes which are to me pretty communicative of her annoyance and discomfort.

This is not even subtle body language, yet he only notices it when she runs off. The worst part is that he still finds a way to think about Blitzø when his daughter leaves.

He looked upset that Blitzø didn't follow him! Did he expect that guy to pursue him constantly? He was in the middle of an argument with his daughter, I personally would have stepped away to give them space to talk and reconcile. But no, apparently Blitzø should be at his beck and call all the time.

But you know what, after all of this. He still apologized. That absolutely does not negate everything he did during the day but, at the end of it, he finally listened to her and even brought her to a place she actually wanted to be. Which is good, he acknowledged her discomfort and did something she liked.

Until Seeing Star.

Look I know Stolas was busy with Stella but he clearly doesn't care about her and her stuff.

Don’t tell me he couldn’t pinpoint Stella’s location with magic and teleport all of her belongings to her. Their discussion was barely about the furniture, he could have said that they were gonna be delivered and hung up the second he saw Octavia. Arguing with Stella is pointless, he’s the number one guy that should know that! Why does he continue to insult her, he’s just fuelling the fire!

Moving out her belongings would have been 10 times faster if he just hung up the phone, then he could have had a more mindful talk with Octavia without the constant bickering of his ex-wife.

But he didn't for some reason, fair enough, I guess. The writers do whatever they want. Anyway, Octavia got angry and ran to go see the stars on her own.

So, Stolas’ castle is in Pride but my point still stands, Octavia had the time to run from home and make the way all from her father's place to the city, find the specific building Blitzø held his organization in and Stolas didn't notice a thing.

You cannot tell me Stella managed to get his attention for that long AND you cannot tell me that his castle is close to the shitty disaffected building and the populace. His daughter ran off and he did not notice a thing.

Not only that but he has the nerve of blaming Blitzø for not watching the book. Like, dude! You should have watched your daughter instead!

Then he spills out more bullshit.

I don’t know Stolas, how could you possibly find her when you were shown to have countless abilities to do so?

Like bubbles projecting the image and locations of people.

Or that on time when you possessed corpses and one woman just to go full eldritch monstrosity just for one that one guy you’re cheating your wife with. And don’t whine about “They don’t love each other.” it’s still affecting his family, mainly his daughter so it’s still bad.

Of course, you do all of that without your grimoire without any problem, brushing it off with a…

I guess he forgot his ‘ways’ when it came to Octavia. But honestly, Loona literally found her easily just by looking at her Instagram account, couldn't he just call her or something? The girl had her phone the whole time and he didn't just think of calling her.

Me when I forget that I have teleportation power when I am in an enclosed space with nobody is looking.

You’re certainly not worrying right now. Via literally told him to his face that she was scared and he kept flirting with him even though he once again caused her to run away because of his neglect.

He’s not trying his best, THIS IS NOT TRYING!

No Loona, his daughter communicated very clearly issues related to their relationship, rather than reassuring her and being there for her as much as it’s realistically possible (he still has duties to carry), he gets in an avoidable petty fight with his ex and keeps an unhealthy dynamics with an imp he's been obsessing over. He doesn't focus, his priorities aren’t straight, and now Octavia feels abandoned.

I did mention that I had a good relationship with my father back then, but it stopped abruptly. His focus changed and he went out with friends after work and gradually stopped spending time with me. Until we never spent time together again, (to give you an idea the only moment where I could see him was in the morning for breakfast) now that can sound silly but I was a child, with no friends and a neglectful mom, losing the only good thing I had in life broke me. I knew his schedule, I knew he was spending time with work buddies and that just stung my self-esteem even more leaving me feeling like a burden when I was just a kid who wanted to feel love.

This is why I don’t like the “He’s trying.” I know what a trying struggling parent looks like and I know what happens when they stop. If you keep trying to do something and you’re constantly failing, either your technique isn’t the right one or you’re not and you’re convincing yourself you are.

And then there are people that’ll tell me that “He lived through the abuse of Stella for years for her.”

If you read all of this then I don’t feel like I need to explain how Octavia was at least partially exposed to Stella's toxic behavior and was affected by it.

For those who don’t know how it feels to live with an erratic mood-swinging person, it’s pure constant stress. You have to think constantly before you talk or move because you know that if you fuck up you’re gonna pay the price. And if you still eventually mess up you can never know with these types of people! You can’t defend yourself because the punishment will be far worse. You are ALWAYS in the wrong.

So he lived through the abuse of Stella just so his daughter could get neglected and abused in a less physical way?

The difference between my parents and Octavia is that they love each other. Stolas doesn't give a damn about Stella, he did say he was nice at first because he empathized with her they were in this shitty situation together, and fine, it's reasonable. But she never changed! Stella stayed the same! Why didn’t he leave her when he stopped carrying about her?! There’s no trauma bounding, Stella isn’t guilt-tripping or manipulating him, they got the child he could have divorced her easily without consequences! If anything, she’s the losing part of this divorce she’s lower in the hierarchy! “Andreaphul will get angry.” HE’S A MARQUIS! Hierarchically speaking Stolas is far more important and he mopes the floor with his peacock ass!

Am I supposed to be empathetic with that one dude who willingly let his daughter grow up in a hyper-toxic environment with an emotionally neglectful and unpredictable wife?! Am I supposed to believe he cares when he kept sleeping in his house in his bed with the same guy his daughter clearly is worried he’s going to leave her with?! Really?!

Don’t ever tell me that this is trying.

[sl-ut]

sweet dreams

ended up having a baby dream during my nap and thought it would be a v cute burb concept for my sweet cliches series

set in this universe!

abby noticed that something was wrong with her girlfriend almost immediately after she returned from her morning run. she had, of course, left quite early and had been very careful not to wake her cranky pants gf up, but started questioning what she might have done to piss her off already when they hadn't even truly spoken a word.

y/n was in the kitchen when she got back, mixing herself an iced coffee and barely even responding to abby as she came over to kiss her good morning. abby shrugged it off, thinking she was still too tired, but when she rejected her invite to join her in the shower????? that's when she knew something was up.

she spent fifteen minutes in the shower, taking the extra time under the piping hot water to think it over. she knew it wasn't about her leaving a mess before she left; abby was the neat freak in the relationship, so it was usually her getting annoyed by clutter, not the other way around. they'd been on good terms last night, they had even found time in both of their busy schedules that allowed them some spare time to get it on...was it not good? abby thought she'd seen the telltale signs- the whimpers, the heaving chest, the swelling nail marks on her back... she'd never seen y/n fake it before, so she wasn't sure what she wasn't picking up on. unless... what if she had only ever seen her fake it???

then abby goes into panic mode. she finishes her routine as quick as she can (under ten minutes, our low maintenance queen!) and rushes out to find her girl curled up on the couch under a fluffy blanket, not even glancing her at abby as she took up the space next to her.

"what's going on in that pretty head of yours? and don't say nothing."

the girl frowned before she stubbornly responded, "nothing."

"did i do something wrong?"

"no."

"then what's the matter? i don't like to see you so down."

"it's stupid."

abby scooted closer, pulling her girl onto her lap, "i could never think that anything to do with you is stupid. please tell me."

"fine, but you have to promise you won't laugh."

abby rolled her pretty blue eyes, "on my own life, i promise i won't laugh."

the girl let out a deep sigh before she mumbled something under her breath.

"gonna need you to speak up for me there, baby."

"i had a dream that i was pregnant and then i had our baby, and we lived in a cute little house with a dog and we were so happy..." she sniffled, "and then i woke up and none of it was real."

abby was silent for a moment before a small smile and chuckle began to crack through her forced serious expression.

"abby!" y/n slapped her arm when she finally broke out in full laughter, "you promised!"

"i'm sorry baby," she held her tighter to her chest to keep her from moving away and began to rock her, "i'm sorry. that was just so cute, if i didn't laugh i was gonna cry."

"i miss our baby."

abby was in her last year of med school, and thanks to her big beautiful brain (and her trust fund), she was remotely debt free. the two had already discussed their plans to start looking for a house in a nice neighbourhood as soon as abby graduated and got a permanent placement somewhere, but the discussion of kids had sort of been sidelined up until now.

the blonde shook her head, "i can't wait to meet our baby. just give me a year, and then we'll start making that dream come true."

y/n beamed with happiness, curling into her girlfriend's beefy arms, "i can't wait to carry your baby."

"trust me," abby chuckled, "i can't wait to put a baby in you. i bet i'll get it to stick first try, but i'm all about consistency. i'm thinking five nights a week minimum."

both girls giggled at abby's joke, snuggling closer together in a peaceful silence before y/n finally spoke up once more.

"abs... you know you can't actually get me pregnant, right? i mean, you're in medical school for god's sake."

[ale-wosofan]

tired

Ona x R

R is exhausted after a long day at work.

warnings: none

a/n: this took way longer than it should have, but I'm studying for my exams and I've read this so many times that English doesn't feel like a real language anymore. Anyways, enjoy!

-----

If there is something you hate is having to wake up early. Thankfully your work doesn’t require it unless something important comes up. You love waking up slowly, taking your time to admire your girlfriend’s sleeping form and the way she always looks so calm. You usually wake her up by leaving kisses all over her face and, once you’re sure she won’t fall asleep again, you cook a nice breakfast for the two of you while she gets ready for training.

Sadly for you today you haven’t been able to do any of those things. You slipped out of bed as soon as your alarm woke you up, so you wouldn’t disturb Ona. The hours passed slowly as all you have been able to think about is getting back to your bed and your girlfriend.

Having been awake since six in the morning, when you finally get home you’re more than a little exhausted.

Ona is by your side before you can even close the door.

“Hola, mi vida,” she greets you placing a soft kiss on your lips and opening her arms for you “How was your day?”

You can only grunt in response melting into her arms, not really in the mood to talk. Your girlfriend lets out a chuckle and just hugs you tighter.

“You smell nice,” you murmur burrowing your head on her neck to take a deep breath “I missed you.”

Ona laughs again and you can't help but smile at hearing your favourite sound “You saw me this morning.”

“Exactly. Way too long ago.”

Just when your eyes start to close she takes a step back from your embrace.

“What do you want to have for dinner today? Sushi?” your face lights up at the mention of your favourite food “Sushi it is.”

“Thank you, love. I’m gonna go take a shower.”

You take longer than usual in the bathroom since all the exhaustion from the day is starting to catch up to you, but you somehow manage to shower without falling asleep standing up. Once you’ve gotten into more comfortable clothes you walk over to the couch where your girlfriend is sitting playing with her phone.

You drop yourself on her lap and lay your face in her chest.

“Dinner should be here in ten minutes or so,” Ona says setting her phone down and beginning to run her hands up and down your back.

You hum happily and focus on the hard thump of her heart in your ear. With the feeling of her steady breaths underneath you, you feel yourself starting to drift off. You’re about to fall asleep when the sound of the doorbell rudely interrupts you, forcing your girlfriend to get up and you to try to wake up before eating.

-----

Your mood unsurprisingly improves once you’ve gotten some proper food and drink in your stomach. Normally after dinner the two of you sit down to watch TV for a little while, but today you’re too tired to even concentrate.

You are ten minutes into the film when Ona speaks.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just tired,” you mumble trying to stay awake.

You frown when your girlfriend turns the TV off and gets up offering you a hand. “Let’s go to sleep then.”

Smiling at her, you take her hand and let her lead you to the bedroom. Once you’re both settled in bed she wraps her arms around your waist, bringing you closer to her.

“Te amo,” Ona whispers in your hair.

You lift your head from where you have buried it in her neck and blink a few times, trying to shake off the sleep a little bit so you can properly answer her.

“I love you too. G’night.”

Before resuming your previous position though, you take your girlfriend’s face in your hands and kiss her sweetly. It’s a pretty short kiss, you can barely see Ona’s face in the darkness and you’re already half asleep, but you are in bed after a really long day in the arms of the woman you love; you couldn’t have asked for anything better.

“Buenas noches, cariño.”

[bananababblegigglemuffin]

OVERSTIMULATION WITH SUB LOGAN OVERSTIMULATION WITH SUB LOGAN OVERSTIMULATION WITH SUB LOGAN ‼️‼️‼️‼️

😂Ahhh god I love these over stim with Logan ones, ofc I’m gonna do it… i really dk bout this but here it goes:

KINKTOBER: DAY smth well 9th October - OVERSTIMULATION with sub Logan

Note: ofc it’s dirty dirty dirty.

Logan had dreamed for years about being dominated by a woman. Logan never really seemed to want to try anything new. He had given it several tries, but nothing had ever changed much. he was great in bed, he was always satisfied, and thought his partners were too. It was so hard to tell sometimes. Whenever he took the lead she was willing to do almost anything, but she would never take charge.

Logan spent several hours a week on the internet searching for male sub stories and movies. Trying to discreetly watch and read while wade was working or doing chores.

Logan finally stumbled onto a Female Dom site, where the Dom was located only 20 miles away. His cock throbbed as he looked at her site and imagined that he was the slut in the pictures.

Her name was Mistress y/n. She was not a runway model, but boy did she look hot in her leather outfit. Her breast covers were held on with Velcro, and the crotch cover was removable and left plenty of room for any activity. For several months Logan went to her site, afraid to click on the contact button. A couple of times he clicked on it then changed his mind, afraid of the consequences if he was caught.

One evening Logan went to Mistress y/n’s web site. Wade was over at his friend's house helping her redecorate the Living room, so Logan could relax a bit and actually listen to the sound clips.

She sounded sexy. Mistress y/n had posted a new series, where she took a new male sub and filmed his training from start to finish. Logan had seen it appear months ago, but was afraid to watch while his fwb was in the house. He clicked on the first clip: Training begins.

The movie began with a fully dressed male in his thirties standing alone in a semi-dark room.

The room was full of every kind of S/M toy you could imagine. Whips, collars, cock restraints, dildo’s, vibrators, strap on’s hung on the walls neatly. Logan could barely make out the clothes racks full of outfits. Scattered around the room were racks, saw horses, stocks, tables, chairs. It was obvious that Mistress y/n could restrain her slaves in any position she desired. Logan’s cock throbbed and pulsed, God he wanted to masturbate and she hadn’t even entered the room yet!

Mistress y/n walked into the room and watched the man looking around the room. “Attention Slut!” she said. The man jumped and turned toward her. “Hi, I was just admiring your toys.” “Silence Slut!” “You are not starting out very well.” “You were instructed to enter this room, face the door, and wait for me.” “I’m sorry.” The man said. “Silence Slut!” “I will go over the rules that you agreed to one more time.” “If you fail again, you will be ejected, never to return” 1) Do not speak unless spoken to, and then you may only reply with: “Yes Mistress” “No Mistress” “Please Mistress” “Thank You Mistress” 2 You will be naked at all times unless I instruct you otherwise. 3) You will obey my instructions immediately, without question or hesitation. 4) The code words are “Red” for stop, and “Yellow” for I’m not sure I can take it anymore. If you use either I will be disappointed both in you and in my instruction pace. 5) Our contract will remain in effect until either of us declares it void. If the contract is voided, you will leave immediately and will never have any contact with me or mine again.

Mistress y/n cupped her hand under the man’s chin, forcing him to look directly at her. “Do you understand and agree to these conditions?”

“Yes Mistress” the man replied.

“Excellent” Mistress y/n said. “Please do not disappoint me again, or it will go very hard for you”

Mistress y/n put a leather collar around the slaves neck. The collar had the word slut embossed in two places. "This collar shows your status and your name."

“Now remove your clothes Slut” she snapped. Startled, he jumped and started unbuttoning his shirt.

Mistress y/n reached over to the wall and grabbed a riding crop. “Stupid SLUT” she said as she thwacked him stiffly across his ass 3 times. “What did I just tell you?”

“Yes Mistress, Thank you Mistress” he yelped. He feverishly ripped off the rest of his clothes as she continued to expertly hit his exposed areas. Not hard enough to leave welts, but enough to scare him and get his attention.

After much deliberation Logan finally contacted her.

End. (I am on vacay sorry, I’ll be back home on eleventh. Just for a little peak)

Will post part two if y’all want

[sidsinning]

the movie aint better ya goofs (don't read if you don't wanna hear my slander lol,,,)

"Movie!Gabriel is better than show!Gabriel because he actually cares for his son and gets redeemed"

istg this fandom's obsession with redemption needs to END

Morally better character ≠ better writing

Can I just get a piece of media that tells kids "hey, ur abusive parent was an asshole, and even if they had humanity you do not need to reconcile and forgive them in the end" bc I feel like that's what show!Gabriel leans towards which is great

Gabriel barely talks to Adrien in the movie and suddenly when he sees him under CN's mask his entire reign of terror, his determination to see his dead wife again ends in a tearful hug lmao come on now

("but the ending where Adrien suddenly loves his dad again???"- Astruc has been pretty blunt on Twitter that this perfect society you see in S5's ending is built off of a lie, so Adrien is def not gonna just keep that view)

"Adrien actually stands up to his dad in the movie!"

Movie!Adrien is legit a normal human boy, not a sentimonster who is literally physically incapable of fighting back against whoever has his amok

He DOES fight back (even in S1 as CN!), but people like to remember the show only up to S3. Guess what, he learns to fight back and stand up for himself through his growing bonds and relationships with those around him through character development ✨✨✨

Also, he is an abused kid??? In the show?? How can you knock him down a peg for not fighting back,,, 😭 Adrien's lesson isn't that he needs to learn how to fight back, it's that Nathalie shoulda called cps sooner!!! In the movie they are much more of an estranged father-son pair than anything abusive. So obviously the back talk is much easier too. Movie!Adrien gets to go out alone and with friends unless his dad has specifically planted an enemy where he is. Show!Adrien has been beaten, mind controlled, forced to hurt Marinette, isolated and locked up, etc.- he has been TERRIFIED of his dad multiple times.

"Marinette isn't an obsessive stalker in this!"

SIGH.

Man I am so sick of this complaint- the show has never rewarded Marinette for her obsessive behavior. BC IT IS A CHARACTER FLAW. One they use for cringe comedic purposes, but a flaw nonetheless. Every time she has done anything that hurts others in pursuit of Adrien she is punished by the writers. And bc the show has an episodic monster-of-the-week format, this plot is recycled a lot (which is its own complaint). And guess what? SHE STOPS BEING OBSESSIVE. YEAH. SHE STOPS DOING THAT SHIT- so what do you want now??? She grew out of it after it costs her the miraculous so why tf are yalls still hurling this at her like its a L,,,,

This Marinette is just a watered down boring version of show!Marinette. She's just a girl who gets insecure at times but grows confident bc she's Ladybug. Ok. So is our Marinette but MORE. Our Marinette is super smart, creative, resourceful, an overthinker, extremely kind and selfless to others, gets jealous and reckless when her emotions get the better of her, etc. She is fully formed even after watching just 3 episodes of S1.

Like the fact that they didn't even bother to include the oh so important hook of the show- her lucky charm power- shows they didn't care about doing this story justice- its so transparently lazy writing 💀 (miraculous of creation where??? CN gets cataclysm for destruction but what is movie!LB bringing to the yin yang table,,,)

Legitimately all the comparisons I'm hearing from people saying the movie is better are from those who just aren't caught up with the show where Marinette is no longer toxically obsessive with Adrien, where the plot/lore is insane but 10000000x better and more creative than what the movie gave us, the love square was much better developed EVEN FROM JUST THE ORIGINS EPISODES, etc. Istg these people stopped at S3 where the show was at its worst (if I were to pinpoint it)

Everything is so watered down or changed for the worse

Adrienette bonding was 1 conversation and 2 seconds about his mom in a voiceless montage. Marinette didn't fall for him bc of his kindness after a misunderstanding, it was bc he looked handsome in the library's light lol. He called her weird and didn't think twice about putting on his earphones to listen to more alpha podcasts. You really do wonder why she likes this dude over her partner CN bc they have no connection at all.

Movie!Adrien was an asshole don't you dare do show!Adrien dirty by comparing him to this ellen degeneres alien lookin mf

When movie!Adrien is crying after Mari reveals herself as LB, unlike the show, here you're like "yeah no you only like her now bc she's LB lol"

Anyways feel free to enjoy what you enjoy but uuuuuhhhh this movie getting a 3/10 for me would not rewatch

Oh wait the good things

-Visuals

-Some Ladynoir scenes were cute, like them playfully fighting with the accidental wall pin

-I liked Ladybug moving away from CN's kiss- nice hint of angst

-Chloe's coffee stain scene

-Luka cameos were cute

songs were bad or mid

ya das it

I guess feel free to talk to me in my inbox about your own thoughts if you wish (respectfully plz)

[alittlebitofloveliness]

you should absolutely write the genderbent outsiders fic, it would be so interesting to see how many things get changed. often people genderbend one person and just turn them into someone everyone's attracted to rather than looking at character, or they do change everyone but it's still all surface level changes but from what i've seen you seem like you'd do something really interesting with it

(no pressure obviously but it's a really cool idea especially with the attitudes of the outsiders (how would the scene where they meet cherry and marcia play out for example?))

HI! Ok so I do love this idea but I dont have time to wrote a full fic with the nuance it deserves but I did write out two little scenes for it so I'll post them here! One is lifted almost directly from the book its just the genderben take on it :)

“Speaking of movies,” Dalia flicked away her cigarette butt, “I’m thinking of walkin’ over to the nightly double tomorrow night. Might find someone to fool around with. Anyone wanna come?”

Stella shook her head. “The boys are takin’ me and Soda to the game.”

She didn’t need to look at me the way she did then. I wasn’t gonna try and stick around or nothing. I liked Soda’s boy, James, well enough and sometimes they’d offer me and Dar to go with them when they went to do stuff, but I wasn’t gonna try and third wheel. I’d never admit it, because Soda really likes Stella a lot, but sometimes I hate her. She doesn’t need to be half so possessive as she is over everything all the time- and Soda is my sister.

Darlene sighed, just like I knew she would. Darlene never had time to do anything with us anymore. “I have a date tomorrow night.”

She sounded less than enthused at the prospect, and Soda and I shared a look. Ever since mom and dad died, Darlene had spent nearly every night she wasn’t working going on various dates, with each guy seemingly worse than the last- and much as she tried to hide it, it wasn’t hard for Soda and me to guess why. It kind of killed me that my once vivacious sister, who’d always been so fiercely independent, was throwing herself at every mediocre guy who looked her way trying to find someone to provide for her, for us. On her own, Darlene would never consider marriage, at twenty no less, but now she had Soda to support for another year and me for another four and we all knew her two jobs were barely covering bills already. Sometimes the guilt of it, what Dar had already given up and what she was further prepared to lose made me so guilty and sad I couldn’t stand it. I knew Soda felt the same way.

Dalia just rolled her eyes. She only went on dates when it suited her, and only to cause trouble. She didn’t get Dar’s obsession with finding a good man- or if she did, she clearly didn’t respect it. 

“What about the rest of y’all? Two-bit? Jennygirl? You an’ Pony wanna come?”

“Me’n Jenny’ll come,” I knew Jenny wouldn’t open her mouth unless she was forced to, “Okay Dar?”

***************

“You make sure she gets her ass straight home, Soda,” Darlene says, “I mean it.”

I roll my eyes and she fixes me with an icy glare.

“Don’t get huffy with me, Ponygirl. You’re lucky you ain’t grounded. You know better than to be goin’ to the movie house alone.”

“But-”

“No buts,” she fixes me with a stern glare. If it weren't for how cold her eyes are she could be real pretty with her tumble of smoky curls and delicate nose. Now though, she just looks mean, like Tamina Shepard or one of the other girls who date the gang leaders round town, “you ain’t a boy Pony, you gotta quit goin’ around actin’ like one.”

[comet-forgot-you]

the only thing i could up with is like R is best friends with Anika (or any other character you want) where Anika has no experience in kissing and is ashamed about it and R's like "i can help 🤭"

yesss

you talking about your worst kissing experience with anika while you cooked and you ask her about her worst experience. she doesnt say anything, instead turning your attention to the food you were cooking.

“anika, stop deflecting. whats your worst experience?” she doesnt say anything, gripping the countertop beneath her, taking her bottom lip between her teeth. she shrugs. “unless you’ve never kissed someone,” you suggest and the way she looks away from you, cheeks pinking up, shows that you guessed right. “you’ve never kissed someone?”

anika groans at the confrontation, covering her face with her hands. “no! i havent. i mean i want to, but like, i dont know! i just dont know how, i mean like what if im bad y’know?” you smile, stepping away from the stove to approach her.

“i could teach you.” anika pauses at the suggestion, hands falling from her face.

“what?”

“i could teach you. i mean like, i have experience, you dont, i could teach you.”

“how?”

“kissing you?” anikas brows furrow.

“but why?”

“because, i cant let my best friend doubt herself, now, can i?” you smile, stepping closer to her. youre between her legs at this point, neck craning up due to her position on the counter.

“you’d do that?”

“why not?” theres barely any space between the two of you. youre eyes flicker down to her lips and hers do the same.

“okay,” she whispers thickly. one of your hands find her hip, the other moving to cradle her cheek in your hand.

“this okay?” you ask, and anika nods. you look back down to her lips and hers tongue darts across them wet them. “im gonna kiss you now,” you whisper, leaning in until the distance between you two disappears.

your lips meet hers and theyre soft. you pull her closer and her hands move to cradle your face. you pull away for a second, breath heavy, before going back in. your tongue darts across her bottom lip and before it can go any further, the water boils over. the sound of water hissing as it hits the glass top forces you away from her.

you’re quick to tend to it, the feeling of anika lingering on your lips. “not bad for your first time,” you mutter out, a smile forming on your lips.

[blacktofade]

Fic: gemtho [NC-17]

Inspired by the "game" from Gem's S10E03 (aka I found an excuse to write filth).

--

“You said I could take anything,” Gem reminds Etho, who stares up at her, eyes wide and skin flushed above the line of his mask.

“Yeah, but I meant — ”

Her hands work at his belt and then his pants, getting both of them open, pushing and shoving for what she wants.

“I made my choice,” she says, managing to slip his pants far enough down his hips that she can see he’s half-hard already. “I’m gonna take you.”

His hands are tight on her waist and his mask shifts in time with his breathing, but he doesn’t argue. Not even about the fact that she has him flat on his back in the grass just outside of his home, where anyone might see.

“You could’ve just asked,” Etho groans when Gem spits into her palm and reaches down to stroke him.

“It’s about the game,” she reminds him, and it feels good to have the weight of him in her hand again.

They haven’t done this since they moved, swept up in the chaos of starting over, but she’s missed it — missed him.

And it’s clear Etho feels the same, because it hardly takes any effort to get him the rest of the way hard, the curve of his cock and the wet tip of it making Gem ache inside.

Etho’s hands slide higher, groping at her in a way he doesn’t usually, not unless she really gets him worked up, and she finds out quickly that it’s what she needs.

Part of her wishes she was wearing her skirt still, because if she was, all she’d have to do is tug her underwear to the side and she could take him. Instead, she has to pull back, away from everything she wants.

Etho grunts, but it doesn’t take Gem long to kick off her boots and slip out of her pants and underwear, and Etho stares like he can’t get enough, even after seeing her bare so many times before.

Briefly, he reaches down as though wanting to get his fingers on her — or maybe in her — but she bats his hand away, too impatient for anything that’ll slow her down.

“Gem,” he tries, voice tight, but Gem’s already holding his dick steady, guiding him into her as she slowly sinks down.

Etho’s head tips back, his throat bared, which makes it easy for Gem to fold forward and get her mouth on it.

He feels so good filling her up and he doesn’t move, letting her set the pace she wants, even as she works a bruise onto his skin. The fact that he doesn’t tell her not to makes her even wetter, knowing he wants to walk around with it, that he’s okay with anyone seeing it.

She digs her teeth in, just enough to make him moan as she finally settles on his hips, his cock as deep as she can get it. It’s been long enough that the stretch of it stings a little and she knows she’ll feel it later.

She gives the line of his jaw a final kiss before pulling away, sitting back and looking down at him.

His headband has shifted, his hair a little tangled and flyaway, but he’s breathing hard and staring back at her with dark eyes.

“Still wish I’d taken something else from your base?” Gem asks and Etho exhales forcefully.

“No.”

She smiles at the fact that he answers, like he knows she’d force him to if he didn’t, and then rolls her hips, giving him what he clearly wants.

He lets out another breath and Gem continues, enjoying the feeling of him nudging so deep inside, and she keeps at it for a long moment, reaching between her legs to rub at her clit to help adjust to him.

She could come like that, given enough time, but she doesn’t think she has the patience for it. After so many weeks with nothing but her own hand, she wants Etho to make her come hard and fast.

“Y’know, I never said you couldn’t move,” she muses, watching Etho’s expression shift. “You’re doing that voluntarily.”

His gaze tracks her and she sees the moment he understands, and she feels the moment he understands when he brings his hands up to her back and the world starts to tilt.

Somehow he manages to roll them, slipping out of her only long enough to untangle his pants from around legs, before he pushes her thighs open again and shoves back inside.

She laughs, throwing her arms out and enjoying the softness of grass beneath them.

Etho fucks her with a strength she still hasn’t grown accustomed to, still takes her by surprise, and it’s exactly what she needs.

“God,” she groans, curling her legs around his waist, trying to pull him even deeper with every thrust. “I missed this.”

The frantic snap of Etho’s hips wordlessly says he feels the same, but she can see it in his expression, too. The way he stares at her as though he’d try to find her in any universe they fell into.

She shuts her eyes and turns her hands palms-down, clutching at the ground beneath her, breathing hard and chasing the feeling growing inside her.

Etho moves against her, though his thrusts never stop, and Gem startles as his mouth finds her own, mask no longer in the way. She pushes a moan between his lips alongside her tongue and he kisses back with a fierceness she’s never felt from him before.

It’s like it’s the only way he knows to tell her he never wants them to be apart again.

“Yeah,” she says against his mouth when he finally breaks away to catch his breath, and she hopes he knows it’s the answer to his unspoken question.

Their bodies are loud in the silence around them, but she can hear and feel how Etho is already beginning to lose rhythm, the way he trembles trying to keep up the pace.

“Want me to pull out?” he asks, lips grazing her cheek and Gem shakes her head.

“Don’t care,” she pants, because either way she’ll have to wander down to the river to wash. She’s so wet, she’s a mess already.

Etho adjusts, just enough that every thrust manages to rub her clit at the same time, and she doesn’t stand a chance.

“Etho,” she begs, and in no time at all, he has her coming the exact way she’s needed — deep and devastating.

She’s still shaking from it when Etho gets a hand under one of her knees and pushes it up, fucking her faster but with none of the precision, and when he follows her over the edge, it’s with a loud groan that she can feel through his chest.

He keeps moving — maybe to push his come a little deeper, though probably just because it feels good — and with how wound up she feels, she knows she should take advantage.

“Keep going,” she tells him. “Just a little bit more.”

He’s probably sore and oversensitive, but he still obeys, and Gem reaches between them, circling her clit with two fingers just long enough to make herself come again, the second orgasm hitting sharper, but just as hard.

“Gem,” Etho says, sounding a little astonished, a little broken, but Gem lets herself go boneless with a laugh, her legs dropping from around Etho’s waist.

“God, I needed that,” she sighs, and Etho carefully pulls out before dropping into the grass beside her.

She stays there, eyes closed, catching her breath, a gentle tugging at her hair that suggests Etho’s playing with it as he rests next to her.

She can feel his come dripping out of her, cooling quickly, and yet can’t bring herself to care.

When she opens her eyes, Etho’s watching her, but when he notices, he smiles — a rarity for her to see.

Carefully, she rolls toward him, throwing one leg over his own and bringing a hand up to his face, thumb nestling in the dimple of his cheek.

“I’m glad we’re neighbors,” he tells her, and happiness bubbles up through her chest and escapes as a laugh.

“I’m glad, too, Etho.”

When she leans in to kiss him, he meets her halfway.

[lettherebemonsters]

For Adam! What is one thing that you love about him in canon and one thing you dislike about him in canon?

What do you wish to see of him in the newest season? What develops do you wish to happen for him?

LOL I've been saving this one all day because it's gonna be fairly long. XD

What I love about Adam is that he's a dick but so lovable at the same time? I think it's a mix of his design is very round, Alex Brightman bringing that fun goofy quality to him and just Adam being....Adam, I guess.

Like, compared to Valentino, he's never outwardly abusive and never goes out of his way to physically hurt someone UNLESS pushed to it. Plus Lute with him are instant squad goals.

What I don't like about him in canon is how limited he is. I get that the show was crunched by Amazon to have barely enough episodes to do....anything really. And Vivz wanted to get a story out ASAP before she knew there was another season approved. But you can feel it with Adam. We're told ' oh he's so bad OMG so evil' but outside of the Exterminations.....how is he worse than Sir Pentious, who was BRAGGING about murdering people and wanting to enslave half of Pentagram City in the pilot.

Like Adam being an enemy is fine, I get it. But him ONLY being an enemy, since he's literally part of Genesis and a huge part of the overall structure of the Hazbin story just doesn't sit right with me.

What I wish for Adam in season 2 is definitely, well....more Adam. BUT I want him to be treated as not just yet another baddy. Unlike the Vees, Adam actually means something to the backbone of the lore. What the Hell are the vees compared to him? A bunch of punks who are trying to bully kids off the playground when big brother isn't there to stop it.

It's hilarious to think that we're supposed to think the vees are somehow BETTER than Adam even though they're literally just a bunch of whiny abusive pricks that enslave people and even rape them.

Bring Adam back and have him SUFFER. Have him be forced to eat so much crow that he's coughing up feathers by the time he ends up at the hotel. Don't make season 2 all about him but put him in the background and tease him being alive.

Have him shift from an arrogant prick to someone broken, desperate to go home, and Charlie having to swallow her anger at him to help him. Have Adam earn his way home by being forced to heal from the trauma he endured in Eden.

And have Lute and Adam find each other again. And have Lute find redemption in being forced to confront the fact that Adam is a sinner now, and that she can't hurt him. Have her become the Vaggie in her situation....because she fell in love with a sinner.

Hopefully by season 3 Adam would be established as a protagonist or even just an antihero. Kind of like Megamind. Just a guy who does the right thing but makes a big spectacle of it since he is the Dickmaster.

Have Adam get the attention he desperately needs from people who CARE about him. For HIM. Not for WHAT he is....but WHO he is. Have Adam find himself and not be part of an equation anymore.

If this sounds like Vegeta....yeah, basically lean him towards being Vegeta with the chaotic gremlin energy of Loki and Stitch.

[kz-i-co]

Don’t Fall In Love: Part 5

Summary: You are one of the most popular bloggers on your campus, telling enriching stories of your personal heartbreaks anonymously. But your readers are not ready to handle the newest heartbreak of finding out your best friend dating your ex.

Paring: Lee Haechan (Donghyuck) x f!reader

Genre: college au | angst x smut

Warning: story may contain strong language, mentions of drugs and alcohol - sexual references - reader discretion advise.

Words: 5k

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Masterlist | Nct 127 Masterlist | Nct Dream Masterlist

Taglist: @lovingvoidgoatee, @lunaryoongie, @matchahyuck, @yixingtion, @mosviqu, @ohmyhuenings, @nctzennikki09, @rosiejunnie, @roxyvogue, @5seos, @aaphroditeprjde, @fullsunkist, @emvrd, @atinypurr​, @liliansun​

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #56 I hope you guys are enjoying my beautiful story telling because my career is over. I know I'm being dramatic but wouldn't you? I felt fear that I never felt before - that everything was gonna blow up and force me away from the people I love. I don't like this feeling. In fact I hate this feeling and I wish it would go away.... :::

"Umm - yeah." You didn't know what to say - you were busted.

"Why is it at Haechan's place?" She grew frustrated.

"Actually....Jaemin gave it to me. She must of forgotten it at his dorm." Donghyuck saved you once again when he probably shouldn't.

"You really are hooking up with Jaemin? I was hoping you were joking." She said even more frustrated.

"Guilty." You pursed your lips. "Thanks for bringing it." You said as Minjeong practically dragged him into your apartment changing your girls night immediately. "No really thanks." You said with more attitude the minute Minjeong stepped away to gather some drinks.

"Don't mention it....Ever." He rolled his eyes. "Keep track of your shit."

You huffed as you took your purse wanting to admit defeat and go to bed. "You don't mind if he joins our movie marathon do you?"

"No of course not." You smiled.

"I don't know, I think I really should get going, I have studying to do." Donghyuck rubbed his neck nervously from the accidental invite.

"Aww, just one movie." Minjeong begged.

"Yeah....sure." You could see the frustration in his expression as soon as she made her way over to the couch.

You tried to keep cool as you payed attention to the movie. Donghyuck was to your right as Minjeong was to his right laying on his shoulder. You wanted anything to get out of this situation. Fake sick? Pretend to fall asleep? Anything?

You were ready to tell Minjeong the truth but now it was much harder with him here. What should you do? You didn't like confrontation especially when it could have a bad outcome.

"This movie is really scary huh?" You spoke up getting ready to leave.

"Yeah." Minjeong spoke through a yawn.

Donghyuck moved slightly to get more comfortable, accidentally brushing over your bare thigh but immediately retracted and moved the blanket more covering him and Minjeong. You didn't know why but the slight contact gave you chills alone and you wanted nothing more than to pounce on top of him but you had self control.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #56 How far must I go? How far will this lie go until I can't take it anymore. Because by this point my relationship with my best friend is over. I betrayed her - I betrayed myself. And I'm officially done - Xoxo peace :::

You felt yourself move closer and closer to Donghyuck that you didn't even realize your hand making it's way under the blanket to a place you probably shouldn't. Self control was overrated.

But you did it anyway and his immediate reaction wasn't to stop you. "(Y/N)." He whispered next to you and you just smirked in response.

"Hmm?" You bit your lip as you rubbed more steady already feeling him grow underneath you. You were just lucky that Minjeong gets so focused into movies, unless you would've already been caught.

You heard him groan and fake a cough as he finally grabbed your hand stopping you. "Everything alright?" Minjeong asked as you froze from your hand still on top of his growing member.

"Oh yeah."

"I'm sorry I doze off a little." She giggled.

"If you're tired, you can go to bed." He said sweetly.

"Only if you join me." She said to both of your surprise which just made you more and more upset.

She was dying to sleep with him and it almost sounded desperate by this point and the worst part was Donghyuck was clearly avoiding it. Was it because of you?

"I can go to my room if you guys want." You tried hard not to sound disappointed.

"Oh no (Y/N) - I'll try to stay awake." She spoke and you all just settled back into a comfortable standby, except the fact you were still resting on his thigh without even noticing it moving closer.

Once things were settled again, he looked over at you and you just acted like nothing was wrong.

"What are you doing?" He whispered.

"You started it." You fought back.

"How did I start it?"

"You touched my leg."

"That was an accident." He said in self defense but couldn't help but smirk to himself.

At this point you couldn't tell if it was natural or he meant it because smirking was just part of his everyday face and he probably does it in his sleep but in this case you still felt he did purposely and he wanted you to suffer when he most likely knew, touching him was forbidden at the moment but jokes on him thinking you were scared.

"Sure it was."

"Shall I make some popcorn?" You asked raising your voice and waiting for Minjeong to responde.

"She's asleep?" Donghyuck answered.

"Hmm." You leaned back getting comfortable once again.

"Don't even think about it (Y/N)." He whispered next to you once again as you just started making your hand under the blanket again.

"What? She's asleep." He looked at you questionable. "You know I was gonna tell her everything - until your ass knocked on the door." You pouted.

"Really?"

"I think it's obvious I want you back." You flirted rubbing him once again. You kept apologizing in your head the moment you pulled him out from underneath the blanket. You constantly felt regret with every action but you just couldn't help it - you wanted him. You weren't sure how Donghyuck was feeling but he seemed to let you do whatever you wanted so maybe he still had feelings for you too. You wanted to know - you needed to know.

He softly moaned and leaned his head back as you picked up your motions.

"Hmm? What do you say?" You flirted some more. "Like things never changed."

"We can't (Y/N)." He leaned back up to look at you as your speed slowed down. You heard him sigh from the look on your face. "I told you...We can't just get back together....Minjeong will be too upset."

"Do you even want me at all? Even after everything?" You took your hand back as your tone sounded bothered.

"I don't want to talk about it right now." He shifted putting himself back together, clearly uncomfortable from leaving him hanging.

"Just say yes or no Hyuck."

"Yes (Y/N)." He whispered louder but was quick to tone it down. "Can we just watch the movie?"

He wanted you as bad as you wanted him. You couldn't help but smile just thinking about it. But he was right - after everything, you couldn't just get back together in these conditions - if Minjeong knew the truth or not, it would be too difficult.

"First thing tomorrow morning." You spoke and leaned your head against his other shoulder.

"What's that?" He looked down at you.

"I'm gonna tell her everything." You looked up at him.

"Everything?"

You nodded and he pursed his lips thinking for a moment and looked down at your lips slightly leaning in but was hesitant before turning away.

"I'm gonna get going." He started to move making you sit up straight and watched him help Minjeong lay down against the pillow that rested against the arm chair.

"Are you sure you don't want to just sleep here? It's past 1."

"I'll be fine - I only live a few blocks away." He smirked. "You worried about me now?" He grabbed some of the soda cans and made his way to the kitchen.

"Of course not." You smiled as you grabbed the garbage helping clean up as well.

"I don't know how tomorrow is gonna go but if you want to stay with Minjeong - you have my permission."

"Are you throwing yourself a pity party?" He asked with his eyebrows arched in amusement.

"What? No...." You said tossing the garbage in the trash.

"I just told you I wanted you." He said leaning closer.

"Well.....knowing you, I wasn't sure if you just told me what I wanted to hear to shut me up."

"You're right I do, do that a lot." He smirked again.

"You're so annoying." You said playfully.

"It's not my fault you never shut up." You made of face of amusement causing him to smile sweetly - a smile you will never want to go away.

"So you want me still? Even after I was a terrible girlfriend." You leaned up against him that you could practically feel his breath against your lips.

"Well you admitted you were wrong so...-" He shrugged.

"I was so wrong." You spoke before finally filling in the empty space.

You would never get used to kissing him - like every time was the first over and over again. Refreshing. You could sense the desperation within his that you already wanted to drag him to your bedroom but you know this couldn't go further tonight - not again while Minjeong was literally a few feet away. And especially not here in this kitchen again or you will never hear the end from Jimin.

You pulled away slightly catching your breath. "I want you to fuck me so bad."

"We can't."

"I know." You could hear the disappointment in your voice. "But I'll think about it tonight."

He groaned. "You can't just say that shit."

"Why does it turn you on?" You started trailing your hand down to his evident bulge.

You reached in kissing him again until you heard Minjeong groan immediately pulling you both apart.

You both looked in her direction to see her getting up and stretching before opening her eyes yawning. "I'm going to bed....are you staying the night Channie?"

"Oh um- I think I'm just gonna head home."

"Goodnight baby....goodnight (Y/N)." She spoke on her way to her room.

"Night." You both said in unison.

"She's like a zombie when's she's sleepy." You giggled.

"Yeah." He said more serious to your surprise. "I'll see you tomorrow (Y/N)."

"There's really no convincing you to stay? You can just leave before she wakes up?" You were practically begging.

"Minjeong wakes up before the both of us."

"I can come over and stay with you then?" You just didn't want to leave him by this point.

He smiled at you sweetly. "Maybe next time." He approached the door but you didn't let him off the hook that easy as you kissed him like it was the last time.

"Just in case that was the last time."

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #57 I'm walking on eggshells here....what to do now? I love him and he confessed he still loves me but does that mean we can get back together? I'm gonna tell her everything- I owe her.... Especially during this risky game I'm playing with D since we can't keep off each other- even when my best friend is around....like playing a game of hide and seek. She was asleep right? She didn't see anything....right? :::

"On second thought - maybe it is pretty late." He said closing the door behind him and you smirked dragging him to your room.

This was so wrong on so many levels but you loved him and he loved you and it just felt right.

"I fucking hate you right now." He said bringing his lips towards yours as your bedroom door was shut and locked behind you.

"Why? Because I'm irresistible." You smirked again.

"You're so fucking irresistible." He pulled you up as he carried you to your bed laying you down and immediately towering over you as his lips were placed on yours. You thought the last time was an act of desperation but this took the whole cake.

It didn't feel as risky in here which gave you both more room to play with your hormones. The only problem was you still had to manage to stay quiet because there was no explanation this time and Minjeong wasn't drunk to keep her asleep.

Donghyuck always had a talent of leaving chills trailing down your body with just a brush of his lips, from your lips to your neck and even now your hip where he was currently removing your shorts, along with your thin lace panties.

God...you missed this.

The only thing you didn't miss though, was how much of a tease Donghyuck was. He loved to pleasure everywhere but where you needed him most and at the moment your impatience was wearing thin. "Hyuck Please." You begged causing him to chuckle.

"I'll get there." He sucked above your clit some more as you felt his fingers slowly explore your folds. "Is this where you want me?"

"Hyuck." You warned again.

He smirked before moving where you wanted him and sucking your weak spot causing you to immediately moan out. "You need to stay quiet if you want me to continue."

"I'm trying."

He hummed against you before continuing his slow pleasurable movements that you regret even starting since you had no self control in the tone of your voice. You bit your fist trying to hold back but you were screaming on the inside. To make matters worse he pushed two fingers into you causing your vision to daze and you knew you weren't gonna last long at this rate. He always knew how to work his fingers and you were only getting the subtle version on what he could really do.

"Oh my fucking gosh." You cried as you felt your climax to hit any second now.

"Too much?" You can hear the smirk in his voice.

"Don't you dare fucking stop or I'll will actually kill you." You complained from his sudden holt.

The teaser will always be a teaser.

He enjoyed your suffering too much so he continued giving you exactly what you wanted and not too long, you were screaming into your pillow as your high was taking over in probably the best orgasm you've had in a long time. Donghyuck still taking the throne as your best contender....sorry Jaemin.

"You still want me to stay?" He asked sweetly hovering over you, surprising you once again since he was just purposely teasing you seconds before.

"More than you know."

"Are you sure?"

"Donghyuck if you don't stay here and fuck me, I will make your life miserable." You grabbed his buckle and undoing his zipper once again and was quick to pull him out. You gave him a few pumps before guiding him to your needy area.

Once he pushed in, your walls were already clenching from being extra sensitive. "Fuck." He moaned against you and started kissing down your neck. He was working against you in a slow steady motion but once you loosened up, he didn't hesitate to pick up the pace.

"Oh f-fff." You bit your tongue from crying out.

You may have succeeded in being quiet but the soft moans and heavy breathing were enough to concern you, especially now since the soft creak in your bed was your newest issue.

"Hyuck....maybe we should- oh fuck." The pleasure was blinding you.

"What's wrong?" He kissed down your chest.

"It's just-" He was hitting the perfect spot that you couldn't stop him now. "Nothing...."

You moved your hands down his back and pushing his pants to finally pool on the floor leaving him only in his tshirt. He was much quicker than you having you bare underneath him and leaving marks on your exposed chest.

You both were lost in the moment that you didn't even realized the room light up from the only light source that was coming from under the door. "Wait wait wait."

"Hmm?" Donghyuck didn't stop as you stared to the right at the now visible light coming from the hallway. "What?"

You both heard a door slam and the light suddenly turning off. You knew Jimin said she wasn't coming home tonight so it had to be Minjeong.

Did she hear you? No....she couldn't have.

"She was probably using the bathroom." He spoke.

"Shhh." You tried to listen closer but heard nothing. "Maybe you're right.....try to keep it quiet." You teased.

"Me? Really?" He arched his eyebrows as he started rocking against you again.

"I'm not the one making the bed creak."

"Maybe you need a new bed." He sassily responded.

"You're so annoying."

"Good." You grabbed his shirt making him lean down and kiss you again as he gyrated his hips in a sensual manner making your stomach erupt with butterflies.

"Oh my god.....that's it." You moaned making him chuckle against your neck. He love hearing you so vocal.

You didn't know he constantly found your weak spot making you twitch sporadically. "I'm close." You cried softly.

"Hold on baby." He picked up the pace that had you in a fear of not only getting caught but more moans to slip out accidentally.

You felt like any minute, Minjeong was gonna come pound on your door about to expose the both of you.

The risky game was fun but also terrifying.

His movements became unsteady that you couldn't hold on any longer and laid there letting your pleasure take over. He stopped and quickly pulled out, letting his juices cover your stomach. His soft moans causing another stir in your stomach from just how attractive he is.

"Sorry, I wasn't sure if you took your pill or not."

"I did but I couldn't help but noticed you didn't ask me last night." You teased.

"Maybe I was expecting you to speak up first."

"You should learn not to assume." You flirted. "But it's easy to say I never miss a day." He got up grabbing a towel to clean you off.

Once he settled and laid down next to you, he pulled you from behind into a spooning position.

"I missed you." You said softly.

"I know." He spoke bringing his lips towards the back of your neck.

"Do you miss me?"

"Of course." His voice sounded more low, probably already falling asleep.

You wiggled wanting to be as close to him as possible. "(Y/N)." He warned. "Stop moving."

"Whats wrong? You don't want to go again?" You teased.

"You exhaust me."

"Because I'm irresistible?" You giggled.

"Yes baby....now go to sleep." He said practically asleep but you turned around and cuddled into his chest finally letting sleep overcome you as well. You missed times like this where you two could just sleep and cuddle and not worry about anything else in the world.

That is until tomorrow...

- ::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #57 I'm ready....I'm ready to unfold everything of this badly written dumb twilight fanfic I have created. Okay so maybe I'm being dramatic..... but I never felt more terrified about anything in my life. I thought I left all this drama behind in high school but here we are in a new open canvas I would like to call my life. Thank you God. Barely a month ago I was pining over J - a fuckboy who didn't want me... and crying over D like a stupid jealous ex who probably couldn't stand me and vice versa. What has happened? Why did you make me fall in love with you again - well I never fell out of but you get my point. Why are you here making my life a mess again? Why are you here making me feel like an asshole for even breaking up with you. Why am I here ruining everything? I'm sure by now the people in my life know who I am and ready to confront me because this kind of shit doesn't just happen to anyone......it only happens to shits like me.....but hey at least it makes for good story telling.....especially to my kids one day. I'm sorry to everyone I hurt, especially you my best friend who will probably hate me by the end of today....just know that I love you and I'm sorry for what I did and didn't do. Well.....that's it for now - I'll let you know who decided to stick around in my fucked up life after I spill the beans. Hopefully I'll be okay to even continue this blog...thank you guys for listening. Xoxo peace. :::

"Morning." You yawned grabbing a cup of coffee as Jimin was on her laptop doing work. "What are you doing up so early?"

"My term paper is due tomorrow." She spoke taking a sip of coffee as well.

"Shit, so is mine." You rolled your eyes not wanting to process this day. "I hate Sundays."

"Being dramatic already are we?" Jimin laughed.

"We have classes again tomorrow." Jimin just laughed some more. "Is Minjeong still sleeping?"

"Oh no - she went over to "Channies" for breakfast." She giggled keeping up with the lie as well. Donghyuck was gone when you woke up but you didn't know how early since you also liked to sleep late.

"So you haven't told her yet?" Jimin broke your train of thought.

"I was going to last night but he showed up and I didn't know how to with him there."

"That would of probably been the best time to (with him there)."

"It's my lie though - I rather tell her alone." You confirmed.

"Alright - just make it quick because things are taking off."

"Are they?" You asked still feeling questionable.

"Well that was until you two started sleeping together behind her back." Jimin shrugged nonchalantly.

"It was once- twice....and maybe last night - but it's not happening again until I tell her this time."

"That so? I was wondering why I caught him sneaking out this morning." Your face went pale. "Relax, Minjeong was still sleeping."

You sighed. "Just say it Jimin.....I know you're thinking it."

"I'm not saying anything." She shrugged.

"Call me a slut, bad friend, homewrecker.....I know." You scoffed. "I already hate myself because of it."

"You're in a tough spot right now." She shrugged stepping away from her laptop. "Tell her the truth first.......then we'll see what happens - you at least owe her that."

"I just don't know what to do.....I can't lose them both."

"Well, we don't know anything yet.....Minjeong is a pretty forgiving person." She smiled softly. "But in the meantime....maybe you two need to stay away from each other."

"It's so bad Ji - I never wanted him more than I ever had." You whined.

"It's because he's 'unavailable'.....you want what you can't have. It's a mental desire." She spoke. "But he's giving into it as well which is probably making it harder for the both of you."

"Morning ladies." Minjeong came through the door perky and even bought breakfast for the two of you.

"Why are you so happy?" Jimin asked.

"Nothing." She shrugged. "I think I'm gonna give myself to Channie tonight."

"Give yourself?" You asked.

"You know.....give up my virginity." She took a deep breath before smiling.

"Really?" Jimin said side eyeing you.

"Yeah. He's been a little distant lately so maybe this will be the thing we need to jump into the next step." She sighed. "I've been hesitant because I don't want to come off desperate but I can't take it anymore....I'm gonna go for it tonight."

"I'm afraid of him getting bored because I'm not giving him any." She continued shrugging.

"I'm sure he's getting plenty." Jimin slipped causing you to nudge her.

"He asked me to dinner tonight so I think it will be a perfect time." She smiled some more. "I promise I will keep it down unless it hurts as much as they say than I'm sorry."

You turned your back opening the fridge. You didn't know how to hide your emotions this time. You figured this was the test to find out Donghyuck's true feelings on what he wants to do.

"Oh by the way.....do any of you have.....condoms?" She whispered like it was forbidden.

"He's a guy....he will have some - probably in his wallet." Jimin laughed but was quick to tone it down from how bothered you were.

"How do you know he's ready for that - you guys only been together for like 3 weeks." You spoke not turning around.

"You're the one that said guys are impatient and he's probably just being a gentleman - well I'm done waiting."

"I just want to make sure your first time is special that is all." You shrugged finally closing the fridge.

"I've been together with a guy for almost a month and want to sleep with him but you are the one who hooks up with guys left and right shamelessly and you expect me to listen to you?" She snapped.

She sighed as the silence was tense. "Look I'm sorry (Y/N) but I don't know what your deal is lately....you act like you're against relationships but now I feel it's only targeted towards Haechan - why don't you like him? He's been nothing but sweet to me, I just don't get it, I finally found a guy I like what's so wrong with that?"

You didn't know what to say and better yet - how were you suppose to tell her the truth now? She was angry at you already and she didn't even know the truth yet.

Minjeong started walking away and Jimin got up stopping her. "Wait, (Y/N) needs to tell you something."

Thanks Jimin.

"No offense but I really don't want to hear it." She spoke up.

"She's right, who should listen to me anyway." You said being the first to leave and go back to your room focusing only on your paper you needed to get done.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #58 I think it's time to call a quits. My so called best friend is 'there I say it' in love? Well? Maybe or maybe not but she definitely is on her way there more or less and she's not planning on leaving him anytime soon....I guess it's all up to D now and if he truly loves me like he said he does, and continue this love affair - but I'm done with all of it anyway. My heart is broken and I can't handle it anymore......I might need another vacay before I drown myself into a como:/ xoxo peace. :::

You needed a break from this damn paper with a nice refreshing can of redbull. The funny thing was you were sneaky about it, afraid Jimin was out and about, hogging the living room like earlier. You had enough of her continuous nagging and just wanted to crawl up into a ball and forget this day ever happened. "I told you to tell her the truth." Not like you felt shitty enough.

Target acquired and the coast was clear once you made your way to the fridge and opened it, reaching inside for your refreshing can that.....wasn't there. "Dammit Ji."

One thing you were looking forward to in this shit storm of a day with your pathetic paper that was due only in a few hours and all that was left was 400 words and all you wanted was your damn redbull. You reached in and grabbed her monster instead - not as good but it will suffice it's purpose you suppose.

You were just about to make a speedy exit towards your room until you heard the door slam shut, startling you more than it should.

You heart sank as soon as you saw Minjeong sniffling and tears down her face. "Oh hey." She said trying to show a smile.

"Hey." You were clearly hesitant seeing your friend so upset. "You okay?"

"Ah huh." She lied placing her keys on the counter. "Not really actually."

"Haechan broke up with me." She continued causing you to become speechless.

"What?"

"Hmm....yup."

"What happened?" You asked further.

She shrugged. "Everything seemed fine, we had a nice dinner - even kissed a little. I can tell something was bothering him though but I just figured he was stressing about the paper tomorrow." She wiped her tears with the sleeve of her sweater. "And then he just drove me home and said the 'we need to talk' and just like that we're over." She took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry." You began.

"He said he couldn't get over his ex and he needs some time to be alone." Your heart skipped a beat. "Can you believe that."

This whole mess was really all your fault. But where did it all start? The night you broke up in the first place or the other night when you slept together. He seemed fine before when you both were tearing at each others throats but now you had to get in the middle and confusion everything all over again.

You wanted to tell her. You wanted her to know the truth but why does it seem like every time is the worst time. The truth now will admit that he is still in love with you.

"Now I know why you are so bitter with relationships. You aren't over your ex either....I wonder who his ex is? Maybe she's prettier than me."

"You can't think like that.....You will find someone else I promise."

"But he was so hot and funny and charming." She whined.

"There's tons of hot guys in this school - trust me." You spoke trying to reassure. "And funny ones."

"Maybe we can go to the club together and find someone."

"I'm done with that actually because I was thinking you were right - that lifestyle is too dangerous and I rather meet someone the safe way and so should you."

"But that clearly doesn't work." She whined some more.

"Yes it does - not every relationship is going to work out." You sighed. "There is a frat party tomorrow night, how about we go together."

"Okay." She nodded agreeing.

You had to go see Donghyuck. You need to know what was going on from his side. Your term paper was the farthest from your mind at this moment.

You got what you wanted but was it right? Are you a horrible person because of this? Maybe....

too be continued in the next part....

©property.of.kz-i-co  

[quarantineddreamer]

Jyn Week Day 1: Home

I wasn't sure I was gonna post this, because it's really not my best work. But then again, with the way my brain has been lately not much is! And I wanted to participate and show our girl some love so. Fighting through the perfectionist in me and here's this little thing <3

Though the Rebels had breathed new life into the cave upon their arrival, the network of tight tunnels and sprawling caverns that made up Echo Base had a history that stretched back to a time long before the war. There were stars younger than the stone walls that surrounded them, buried beneath layers of ice so thick, it was unlikely the galaxy would ever uncover the secrets they contained.

It had not taken Jyn long to begin exploring the area, seeking hidden nooks and crannies to which she might escape. Within a week, she had formed a sprawling mental map, memorized the quickest routes to every exit, marked the nearest spaces to duck to when Draven was after her about her latest display of ‘irresponsible/reckless/unacceptable’ behavior–or, when she simply needed quiet. (Which seemed to happen more and more with each passing day spent trapped in this hellhole.)

Tonight, she was bundled in her warmest gear: every thermal layer she possessed, two sweaters, one parka, her hat and scarf, gloves, and four socks pulled one after the other till she could barely squeeze her feet into her boots, much less feel them. 

Clumsiness was the price to pay when you wanted to be up and about at this hour on Hoth–that, or frostbite. It was why, for the most part, no one on Echo Base left their beds after sundown unless they absolutely had to. In temperatures this cold, you’d have to be out of your mind to willingly leave the relative comfort and warmth of your room without very good reason.

Apparently, Jyn was out of her mind, because she’d woken from a dream–the one where the fires of Scarif blinded her one minute, and she was trapped in the cold bunker all alone the next–and crawled out from beneath her blankets. She’d dressed in the dark, moving by instinct more than anything, her skin itching and heart racing as the walls seemed to press closer and closer. Before she’d fully realized what she was doing, she had found herself fumbling by the dim yellow cast of a lantern to a place well-beyond the boundaries of Echo Base.

It would have been all too easy to take a wrong turn–and subsequently freeze to death trying to find her way back–but her body had taken care of her when her mind could not. Before too long she had arrived at a vaguely familiar antechamber, small and circular, with smooth, curving walls.

As she sat and leaned her back into their hard surface, it felt as though she were being held in the palm of some ancient, mysterious being. She took in her surroundings like someone waking up from a dream. Why had her instincts guided her here? 

Then she felt it: air, fresh air; the barest of hints of it brushing across the tip of her nose and suddenly it all made sense. She closed her eyes and drew it deep into her lungs–holding it for a moment with the gratitude of someone reuniting with a long lost friend–before releasing a slow, careful breath. It lingered in the air before her–the ghost of a scared and lonely girl—a swirling cloud of mist, glowing purple. 

Heart in her throat, Jyn lifted her eyes, seeking the source of the strange light. High above her, the chamber’s ceiling of ice and rock gave way, revealing an incredible sweep of night sky, dancing with color. Wind whistled across the opening of the cave…waves whispered upon a black-sanded shore…

“What are they, Mama?”

Her mother’s amused hum tickled at her back. “The Force paints a path home for those that are lost, my love.”

Jyn squirmed beneath the blanket, trying to find her father’s face amidst the orange, flickering shadows of the bonfire. “What are they really, Papa?” 

Mama’s head rested beneath his chin, his arms wrapped around them both, a shield from the wind. He gave her a smile; her favorite kind, the kind he gave her when he asked if she could keep a secret. “You don’t believe your mother?”

Jyn didn’t think her question had anything to do with belief, she simply wanted to know. Mama often told her stories about the Force; stories about love and anger, light and dark, and the threads that tied the world together–just like the ones her favorite blanket was made of. But Papa told her stories too; stories like what kind of soil made the plants on the farm grow, or why her skin turned red after too much time in the sun, or how to fix Stormy when his arm fell off. Mama’s stories were stories she saw and felt on the inside, while Papa’s were ones she held in her hands. But they were both a part of her, pieces she carried with her wherever she went. 

She studied the sky again, following the splashes of purple and green and blue as they wove their way between clusters of stars. She wondered what it would feel like to stand on one of the rippling bands of light; tried to imagine stepping one foot after the other across the horizon as her mother had described. Maybe it would be warm, like sand in the sun, or maybe it would be more like waves lapping at her feet, cold and tingly. 

“A scientist’s daughter through and through,” Mama laughed. “I recognize that look in her eyes…”

Jyn wasn’t sure what exactly she meant by that, but she tore her gaze away from the lights in the sky and turned towards her father instead, ready for his answer.

His skin shimmered green, then blue, and back again, the same colors as the ones that hung in the air above them. “The path your mother spoke of is made of particles, shed by our planet’s suns.”

Jyn frowned at this. “But it’s nighttime.”

“Just because we cannot see something, does not mean it is no longer there,” Papa explained, reaching over to tug the blanket back over her shoulders. “Tonight, the aurora reminds us that the suns have not left us, and they will rise again tomorrow.”

She twisted to face Mama again. “So the suns are the Force?”

“The Force is the suns,” her mother murmured reverently, “and the wind, and the waves, and the sand beneath you. It’s the salt on your tongue when you breathe in and…” she smiled as she poked Jyn’s nose with the tip of her finger, “that means it’s a part of you, and me, and your Papa too.”

Jyn settled into her parent’s arms again and shut her eyes, feeling for the Force her mother spoke of. She wasn’t sure what it was supposed to feel like. 

But she thought there might be some truth to her parents’ words, because though she could not see them anymore, she could sense them there beside her. The comfort of her mother’s heartbeat under her ear, the warmth of her father’s breath as he bent to press a kiss to the top of her head. 

And if she were to find herself lost and standing amidst the aurora, she felt certain this was where they would bring her.

The colors of the sky began to blur and run together. Jyn wiped roughly at her eyes, urging tears away before they could turn to frost upon her cheek. Hoth was more than a far cry from the beaches of Lah’mu, yet she felt closer to it now than she had in a long time.

“Beautiful,” a voice murmured, echoing quietly off the stone around her. 

Jyn started, turning towards the rasp of footsteps. “Cassian…” Leave it to the spy to find her in the middle of a labyrinth in the dead of night.

“How long have you been standing there?” she asked warily, taking one last self-conscious swipe at her face with the sleeve of her coat. 

“Not long,” he answered, lingering at the entrance to the cavern.

But long enough… Jyn figured. She heaved a short sigh and returned her gaze to the aurora, an ache in her chest. “There were lights like this on Lah’mu,” she murmured, an explanation of sorts–though Cassian had not asked for one. 

He ducked past the icicle that hung in from the tunnel’s opening and silently came to sit beside her, his shoulder brushing against her own. Though it barely made a difference in a cold this numbing, Jyn found herself drawing comfort from the warmth of his body beside her. 

“How’d you find this place?” he asked softly. 

She glanced at him, but he was looking at the lights above, granting her a reprieve from the weight of his stare. “How’d you find me?” she countered. 

The corner of his mouth lifted slightly, but his eyes were serious when they landed on her again. “I went to your room and you weren’t there. For a moment I thought…” he shook his head and took a sudden interest in his boots.

“You thought I’d left?” 

“I didn’t know what to think. I checked the infirmary next.” There was an odd strain to his voice, something she couldn’t quite place. “No one had seen you there either, so I headed towards the perimeter,” a small smile crossed his lips, “I’ve noticed you wander to the edges of Base when you’re trying to avoid Draven.”

“Of course you did,” Jyn remarked. “Then what?”

“I followed the light…” 

“And it led you here…” The memory of her mother’s story–still fresh in Jyn’s mind–began to mingle with words Cassian had once spoken to her. The kyber crystal she wore seemed suddenly heavier than it had a moment ago, a hand resting over her heart. 

She thought of Bodhi, Chirrut, Baze, even K2. Of all the people who she had gotten to know because of the Rebellion. People who had her back. People who might not understand all of her, but who accepted her nonetheless.

“Hoth is the first time we’ve really slowed down since Scarif,” Cassian said, ignoring her sudden glance at the mention. “I know it can be hard to adjust to life in the Rebellion.”

A tentative smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “Yeah,” she replied, catching a ripple of light and shadow as it wandered across his face. “I've been feeling lost…but I think I’m beginning to find my way.”

[anxresi]

…Isn’t it a bit late for April Fools Day?! 🤡🤣

I was going to just write a few snarky remarks in the tags, but fuck it… I have a bit of time on my hands right now, so let’s tackle these somewhat disingenuous statements one at a time shall we? Starting from the one in the top left hand corner, and working our way anti-clockwise around… *Cracks knuckles*

1. Yep. SO nice in fact, she doesn’t have any other noticeable character trait. ‘Niceness’ by itself doesn’t make you an interesting, intriguing or compelling character… it just makes you boring. In fact, I’m gonna have to work pretty damn hard to finish this off before I nod off just thinking about her… 🥱

2. …And this is a GOOD thing? It just proves how much the writers were DESPERATE to make her Chloe’s replacement they rushed virtually everything to do with her, including her rapid induction to ‘Hero’. Most of the other Miraculous users had to wait AGES to get their chance, and Lil Miss Perfect just turns up in Paris and gets her chance virtually the first day. It wasn’t earned, it wasn’t believable… it was just handed to her on a silver platter because… reasons. 😩

3. So what? This is just yet more evidence that this girl, a TOTAL STRANGER up to S4 is all of a sudden being treated like the queen of all Mary Sues. Just listen to all the endless shilling about her from the rest of the cast (especially Marinette and, more depressingly Plagg) Now imagine them said in Thomas Astruc’s voice as he lays his case against Chloe… and everything should become clear.

4. This means virtually nothing. Everyone gets their Miraculous permanently at the end of S5, so the fact she gets her’s 5th is just down to a quirk in sequence. If anything, I’m surprised she didn’t get it sooner… in another gratuitous ‘Take That’ to diehard Chloe fans… 😬

5. I don’t even have anything to say about this.. it calculates the precise sum of 0.00% in terms of her worth of a character. You got anything better?

6. Oh, you mean the same acting ‘skills’ that she used to manipulate her sister into pretending she ‘loved’ her and to carry that useless charm about?The thing is, everyone might’ve SAID her talent was great in that AWFUL Queen Banana episode… but it actually wasn’t. Just because the other characters say she’s the next Sophia Loren, doesn’t mean the viewers don’t have eyes and ears. But I guess if they’re stupid enough to fall for Lila’s incredibly obvious lies when the plot demands it, anything’s possible…

7. What, you like her colorful shoes? This is possible the only one I’ll grant you (they ARE pretty snazzy) but at the end of the day, they’re just pointless aesthetics. Anyone else could be wearing them, and the garish colors can’t blind us to her all-conquering mediocrity. Moving on…

8. Here’s a hint: NEVER use the word ‘objectively’ when the opposite is clearly true. She’s not just ‘sweet’, spending time with her is akin to being pinned down in Wonka’s chocolate factory being force-fed candy by all the Oompa-Lumpas until you literally explode. Not a pleasant experience in other words, thanks to the writers laying this sole facet on with a literal trowel and shovel.

As for the ‘sass’ part… nope, not seeing it. Unless you mean the occasional scene when she ‘deals’ with her sister… these parts were obviously only put in to throw red meat for the Chloe-hating sheep out there could hoot and holler at the screen (probably waking their parents up in the process) whilst screaming “SEE? THAT’S WHAT YOU GET!!” Well, I hope you’re happy now. You hapless lame-o’s.

9. Mary Sues don’t get ‘character assassinated’. They get bigged-up, cheered, given every resource in the show to be Da Best… but NEVER wrecked in that manner. Her sister, on the other hand… 😢

I would argue though, that what she is, is WORSE than character assassination… she’s an individual that never should’ve existed in the first place. In fact, I’d barely even describe her as a character. A plot device, a waste of space, a product of Thomas Astruc’s inexplicable raging hatred against Chloe maybe, but not a serious character. As the popular meme goes, Change My Mind (you won’t).

10. …You’re REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel now, aren’t you?

Besides, this hasn't even been confirmed yet. We don't even know anything about the elusive Mr Lee, or even what he might think about his daughter being forcibly adopted by the Mayor. Something which I'm sure a show of such grandiosity and ambition will go into at great length.. Nah, just kidding!

Next, you’ll be telling me that somehow her sexuality is another reason to think she’s the best thing since sliced bread…

11. And there we have it (sigh). How terribly predictable. 🙄

I’ve already done a whole post thingie about how her being a lesbian and having a short-lived crush on Marinette was just imposed to get unearned brownie points from underrepresented communities when they won’t actually do anything with said revelation, so I’ll keep this short. Sufficed to say though, I feel like starting a hashtag… #TheGaysDeserveBetterThanZoe. Get it trending, peeps! 😎

12. Whatever you’re smoking, can I have some of it? This is crossing the line from ‘delusional’ to ‘crazy’ now. She’s remained as static as a statue since her opening episode, has NO room for change and growth due to the fact she was only brought in to replace Chloe and in that uncomfortably dull niche she’ll stay. Sorry, but just because you wish that she’d had any kind of interesting development doesn’t mean she has. Facts have a funny habit of getting in the way of the truth.

13. In turns of ticking boxes for diversity, French-Americans aren’t exactly a high priority IMHO. But sure if you think that makes her the bees knees (pun intended), you go ahead and celebrate it. 👍

14. So in conclusion, I do agree that Zoe Lee is indeed ‘Best’ character… (hears sharp intake of breathes all round) oops, I’m sorry. What I meant was ‘Pest’ character… in that just having her buzzing about in all her flawless Mary-Sue glory makes you just wanna reach for the bug spray.

You know, like you would for a pesky wasp during a delicious picnic. Because she’s Vesperia, get it? 🤪

The only upside to this sad situation is, from what I can tell (being strictly a non-watcher these days, you figure out why) the writers half-agree with me.

After all for such an 'amazing' character who's apparently achieved so much in her short time in the show... why is she barely featured? They must know, somewhere down deep in their artistic brains, she's a narrative dead zone.

A collection of tiresome off-the-shelf quirks, traits and spare parts (someone here said she was like a bad fanfiction self-insert... ABSOLUTELY RIGHT), loosely held together with visible stitching and hastily assembled together like Frankenstein's Monster for the most cynical of reasons.

She has no arguable reason to be in the show, apart from being a far inferior replacement to the potential mine of character development that someone like Chloe could've represented.

I guess Thomas really does hate complex characters who may overshadow his precious Marinette... or school bullies who traumatized him so much as a lil kid he specifically wrote someone into his show he could subsequently and systematically destroy (as the rumors go... but it wouldn't surprise me with THAT guy).

Now I’m off to bed, but let me end on at least ONE positive note for this much-maligned individual: She’s EXACTLY the kind of character a show like Miraculous Ladybug deserves… and if you like her, you deserve her too.

Now, good night. 🌝 🛌

[kusagrasskusa]

An Eye for an Eye, 'Til the World goes Blind

Chapter 4- Meething Them Part 1

Intro, Cha1, Cha2, Cha3, Cha4, (Chapter Selections!)

Side Note, Toby is said to be 5’8 by the age of 25 and that’s gonna be the age I’m putting him at. And just for fun, Masky will be 6’ and Brain will be 6’2. Just saying, it was creepy af trying to find the actors’ heights (there’s no info for it btw) but the websites that have their info were getting too personal with it lmao

Summary- She wakes up to meet a man. Luckily she planned ahead.

I just want to be yours, loved only by you. I can’t fucking breathe when I'm around you. You can hurt me, manipulate me, fucking break me, ruin me. Just give me your heart so I never have to worry again.

The world spun all around as her eyes fluttered open to the dark space in the dimly lit room. Litten only by a small red light on the opposite wall next to a door. The smell was horrible- like the smell of a rotting body that had been there for far too long. Perhaps more than one body, too.

The air was cold and stung on her bare flesh, a familiar feeling from all those years ago. She remembers Martha locking her in the car on a cold winter day to take Mateo ice skating, and how the cold stung her like this. Martha died in jail for what she did to little Y/N by the other prisoners; mothers who would do anything to see their child or stepchild again. And these mothers didn’t like meeting a woman so cruel to her stepdaughter that she’d lock Y/N in the car on hot summer days until she couldn’t breathe anymore.

What drives a woman to do that? It’s no wonder Y/N always gets hot and nervous in a vehicle with a heavy heart each time. A fear of cars is something she may never get over.

Sometimes Y/N swore she could see her mother in this room. Sometimes, I say, as if she hadn’t been awake for only 5 minutes. Disillusioned and staring into space, flashing images of once was or can be popping in and out. Five minutes felt like forever for some reason. She was so cold in nothing but her undergarments; although the thought of where her clothes were never registered in her mind.

Chloroform doesn’t knock people out that fast unless it's laced. Whatever they used would remind her of how she felt after surgery when the anesthesia was wearing off. When she had surgery after trying to cut her arm off and nearly dying. Why did she do that again?

“Good morning, woo,” a masculine voice called out, followed by a random noise. A tic.

When did the large shadowed man lean in front of her? The room was too dark to see his face, but she could see his silhouette from the light shining behind him.

“Good morning,” her weak sound whispered back. “Where am I?”

“Somewhere nice, little Y/N, woo,” his voice ticed once more, “a nice little place of business. And me and you are gonna talk.”

“Oh, I’m not in the force yet,” Y/N smiled softly, cocking her head at the man as he chuckled. “You’ll have to talk with my brother about police business.”

“No silly, not about that. No… We have something more personal to talk about later,” he said kindly. “For now, I just wanna look at your beautiful face. You look so peaceful when you’re sleeping.”

“Hehe, how sweet,” she softly replied, not registering what he even said in her mind. She heard him say something else- although, her tiredness made it hard to pay attention and keep her eyes open.

“Not a thought going through your head- woo- then, and not a single damn thought now. That’s okay. Enjoy your high while you can, pretty girl.”

By the time her eyes looked back up at the man, he was gone. But she didn’t feel his presence leave.

The back of her mind began to finally recognize the world around her. That she had slept enough for the day, that she wasn’t in her bed, and that she was hungry. Her mind trailed back to the thought of kissing her date the previous night, forcing a weak smile on her tired face as her head tilted to the side of the table she was lying on.

“Mmm,” she silently whimpered as her eyes registered the giant light looming above her, too bright to handle in a drugged state. Slowly observing the dark room, her mind was finally putting the pieces together of what was happening. What was happening…

“What the fuck…” Y/N grumbled as she lifted her head from the table, before halting when her shoulder muscles couldn’t move her forward. On top of that, she was barely clothed. Her breathing quickened alongside the beating of her heart as she looked around the dark room, slowly recalling the previous night’s events. Tim was taking her home, and then… then these two people came in, but one of them had Tim’s hair and build so-

“Tim! Tim you fucking asshole, where are you!” She screamed out, adrenaline filling her veins as she pulled against what was holding down her limbs. Ropes tied against her wrists made her wince in pain as she pulled; her arms were held above her head and tied against the legs of the table. Her legs were in the same state, tied against the table legs.

Her muscles fucking ached in pain after constant minutes of pulling and tugging at the ropes combined with heavy breathing. It just hurt so much more on the inside too because she was really starting to like that guy. The feelings of fear, betrayal, and rage burning into her skin more than the tightening ropes didn’t even hurt as much as the thought of what her brother must be thinking.

She was feeling far too mature to tell her brother where she was going to be. Fucking idiot mistake.

Y/N firmly placed her head against the table, overcome by the feeling of helplessness. She didn’t even notice the tears rolling down her face until now. Nor the light sweat that built up from when she was struggling, combined with the humidity of the room. Wasn’t she cold earlier? Why does she recall a different room? And why did she recall the voice that said-

-“woo, the first ten minutes are always my favorite. You see all five stages of grief in one sitting, hah hah.”

Her head turned to where she heard the voice, although her vision was too blurry to see the face of the man who just walked out of the shadows as if it were a 1940s horror film. “You,” she whispered, blinking away the tears the best she could, “who are you?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking the questions first?” He replied smugly as he walked over to the table, leaning over her. He brought his head uncomfortably close to her face, narrowing his eyes as he took in her look of pure horror.

He looked young, perhaps in his early 20s. Large orange goggles around his eyes and a mask pulled down to his chin, revealing his cocky grin and a giant hole on his cheek. Her eyes quickly went to stare at his teeth and flesh from the hole, making her shiver and grow uncomfortable. It reminded her of the uncomfortability of being nearly naked. Did he take off her clothes?

“That’s what I thought. Now, we got some things to talk about, pretty girl,” he chuckled maliciously as he brought a hand to her face, caressing her cheek and watching as she contemplated what to do. He knew what she was thinking: should I pull away from his hand, or will he get mad? What if he hurts me? Oh, but I just don’t wanna be touched by this scary man, but what could I do when I’m so helpless?

It made his grin grow wider as he pulled away, reaching for his pocket and pulling out her wallet. She gasped as she noticed it. “Why do you have that?”

“Well, woo, if you wait a minute, I’m about to get to that.” His hand twitched as he unzipped her wallet and looked through the many cards and hundreds of dollar bills she had stashed in there. “Are you Mr Ismael Ramirez? Or a Mrs. Jamie Burningham? Oh, or a lovely Danielle Iowa? Because, sweetie, you don’t look like any of these people.”

Y/N’s heart fucking dropped. She quietly gulped, feeling her palms get sweaty and the room seemed to be a little warmer. “I… I don’t-“

“Yeah, didn’t think so. And I don’t think they could’ve given you their cards after they died either, huh? I know that Danielle almost escaped me, but I think a hatchet in the heart then proceeding to rip her open a little more should keep her too dead to pay you, right?”

Danielle Iowa was the daughter of the family she saw two nights ago when her brother called her in for help. She was in her room on her back, bruises on her arms and a giant open hole in her chest.

Y/N’s eyes widened as stuttering out slowly, “You killed them?” Her body started to shake, her chest heaving as her mind wandered to what he could do to her if he had the stomach to do other awful things to people.

“Oh, come on now, don’t look so scared!” the man laughed with a hint of annoyance, “you’re no fucking better! You also have exactly $853 in here, exactly as much as- woo- she had in her little jar in the room. How are you any better than a killer if you’re gonna steal money from the dead right next to their bleeding fucking corpses?”

Sins in the form of goosebumps trailed up her skin all over, her head turning away from him as an escape from the situation. She felt embarrassed, weak, and most of all, guilty. Fucking guilty.

“Yeah, and that’s the first time you’re facing it, huh? Didn’t feel so bad earlier, right, when you went out and bought that coffee? Or when you went- woo- out shopping the night before? Why does it feel so dirty now, Y/N?” The man laughed, setting his knee on the table to lift himself up and set his arms on either side of her. He looked down at her, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look back at him from above.

“But hey, ‘ion gotta kill ya for your sins. I ain’t the devil or God. But I will make you work for your freedom.”

His neck snapped as he smiled down at her, ticking once more. Naturally, him being on top of her while she was barely clothed made her worry about what he could mean- what he was going to do to her. Rape her? Torture her like this was a Saw movie? Sell her into slavery?

“I-Is that so,” she said in a low voice, a shaky breath following.

He hummed in response, chuckling to himself. “If you wanna live and keep all your dirty money, well, I recommend you give me what info you got about the police force. Otherwise,” he paused as his neck snapped following a tic. A sudden cold metal pressed against her bare stomach, making her shudder. “I can cut you open for Mateo to see, pretty lady. And that cute little look of fear on your face would look so fucking ugly when it gets skinned off, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Y/N agreed, nodding her head with a quivering lip. “Or-”

“Or?” The man widened his eyes with mild shock, cocking his head as he placed the hatchet a little more firmly against her stomach, causing Y/N to suck in a little.

“Or, you let me willfully help you with all the data I can provide, and then some, in return for help,” she said softly, a small smile appearing on her face as if her fear had just vanished.

“Woah, woo,” he chuckled, his grin growing large on his face as he pulled away. He pressed his hatchet even harder against her skin, causing her breath to hitch. “I have never seen that before. I’mma have to let the other guys know about this, hah hah.”

He got off of her and stepped back down onto the floor, sticking his hatchet back into his little holder.

“Wait, so, what’s this “and then some” thing supposed to mean? And what makes ya think that whatever you can provide is worthy of not just your life, but also something more in return?” he asked rather threateningly as if he was annoyed. No, pissed off.

“You know, I’m not just some dirty detective or thief,” Y/N replied cautiously, furrowing her eyebrows. “You think I didn’t notice all the girls looked like me? You think I didn’t notice I could be next? What if I took extra steps in case something were to happen to me?”

“Attitude out of nowhere like ya have any power over the situation,” he replied aggressively, rolling his eyes. He doesn’t like it when things don’t go his way. He swiftly grabbed his hatchet back out and set it on her stomach, before crouching down and reaching for the ropes tying one of her hands down. Anxiety pulsed through her veins but… she knew what she was doing.

The rope burns hurt her wrists as it got free, her hand feeling better from the return of circulation. The man placed her arm down the table forcefully, holding it down as he grabbed his hatchet again, placing the blade on her fingers. Instinctively, she gasped and tensed.

“Okay, here’s the deal,” he said before ticcing, “you’re gonna give me a good counterdeal that’s just so much better than mine. And if you don’t, I’m cutting these off one by one. Got it? Or do you wanna just take my deal instead?”

Y/N quivered, narrowing her eyes at him before taking a deep breath. “Okay, listen… I could do two things. I won’t ever give you the police info if all I get is life and dirty money, and whatever happens to my brother. So you’d have to kill me and be left struggling to get the info yourself. And, let me promise you, it’s not easy.”

She took a quivering breath as the weight of the man’s eyes caused more anxiety to trail through her.

“However, I could also help you. Not just info given to you, but I can also lead the investigation in ways that would keep you and whoever you’re working with safe. I know the ins and outs of everything that goes on there, and I’ve tampered with info before on cases. That’s how I get away with stealing,” she says hesitantly, guilt in her words.

“I could give you info computer bases don’t have, I can steal, I can lie, and I’m very good at staying hidden. I know this might not seem like a lot, especially given that I don’t know your plan, but I can tell these aren’t your first murders or kidnappings. Surely having someone who can log into police bases across this country could be helpful to you, right?”

The man raised a brow, cracking his neck before huffing, “Yeah, yeah, so you can make things easier for me, I expected that. Coulda summed that up quickly, y’know. Now tell me what you wanted in return.” He tapped his hatchet against her fingers impatiently.

“I want to come with you guys,” she breathed out quickly, a look of desperation on her face. “I know you and whoever you work with have been across the country, possibly the world, and committed similar crimes. I’ve studied family murders that looked just like the ones here from other states- and I admire it! I would do anything to be a part of what you guys do.”

She bit her lip in embarrassment, realizing how stupid she must sound right now. The silence that followed made her recap how she was tied up, nearly naked, with a serial killer threatening to cut off her fingers after threatening her with death. She then boldly decided to reject his offer and made her own, and now just asked to be a part of a killer group as if she was trying to join a Fanclub.

“Interesting,” the man slowly replied awkwardly, squinting his eyes and cocking his head at her. “You’re weird.” His hatchet began to pierce the skin of her fingers, making her gasp and lift her head from the table defensively.

“Fuck, if you do that, you’re gonna fucking regret it!” she yelled out, her hand shaking. The man chuckled, pausing as her fingers began to bleed.

“How come?” he asked amusingly.

“Tim has a tracker in his truck, connected with a camera and audio. It picked up anything that happened around it- and the data will be sent to my brother unless I stop the message in time.” Sweat built up on her forehead from the extreme nervousness she felt. But damn, her reasoning worked.

“Ugh, you fucking would make this difficult,” he huffed, sticking his hatchet back in his holder. He ticked, pulling his mask back up to his face before leaning into hers, caressing her cheek, and whispering, “You’re pretty, but you’re nothing special. I’ve seen plenty like you before, so don’t think- woo- you got your way yet.”

With that, he ripped his hand away from her face and grabbed her arm to tie her wrist back to where it was. A long, deep sigh escaped her lips as she closed her eyes, placing her head back against the table. He mumbled things under his breath as he finished up, walking out of the room. The noise she heard indicated that he opened a door and walked out- leaving her alone in the room.

What a fucking experience.

--------

Hey guys! Just btw, if you aren't satisfied with this chapter or wish it could have been a little different, feel free to let me know! I'm contemplating rewriting it since I'm not totally satisfied by it- but, if you guys feel it's good enough, I don't wanna waste time rewriting a whole new chapter that most people aren't going to reread.

...but! If you feel like I could touch up on this rather than rewriting the whole thing, do let me know as well. I just really need feedback 🤣

[wild-karrde]

In Command - Part 13

Master List | Previous Part | Next Part

A/N: HAPPY SUNDAY Y'ALL!! Have another chapter! I was gonna try and delay this a bit to overlap with something else, but I am impatient, so here we go. As always, thank you to the wonderful @teletraan-meets-jarvis for beta-reading for me and making sure my ramblings make sense!

Chapter Rating: E

Warnings: explicit sexual content (PiV sex), language, canon-typical violence, graphic injury

Word Count: 9.2k words

Senna felt like she was drifting through a dream. Everything around her seemed muffled and muted, although she was acutely aware of the soreness between her legs and the presence next to her. Rex’s hand rested in the small of her back as they made their way back through the mingling couples in the club, brushing past the cleaning droid that was already heading towards their abandoned booth.

This is fine. 

She barely heard what the Pa’lowick attendant said as they retrieved their jackets and Rex’s hat. She waited patiently as he inspected the street outside the smudged front window of the club. When he was sure it was clear, Rex opened the door, guiding her outside again. 

The cool night air was a welcome sensation, and Senna closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering slightly from the sweat that still slicked her skin. She felt an arm slip around her waist and looked up to find Rex pulling her to his side, giving her a smile. 

“Looks like the coast is clear. It’s a short walk back.” 

She forced a smiled back, falling into step next to him and leaning against him slightly. 

Alright. We were both playing the part. He seems fine. Unbothered even. My work with the rebellion isn’t over. And I just had great sex. And there don’t appear to be hard feelings. 

Great. This is fine. Everything is fine.

He was saying something that she completely missed. 

“Hm?”

“I was asking if you’re still hungry.”

Her stomach was doing flips, and for once, the thought of putting anything into it seemed ill-advised. 

“I’m fine. U-unless you’re hungry?”

“No. No, I’m alright.” 

How is he doing this? Just behaving as if everything is normal? 

And how are you not?

She wasn’t new to casual encounters, but there had been nothing casual about the way he’d touched her, the way he’d said her name. It felt as soothing as bacta on a burn after the months of denial she’d put herself through, but everything about the sex had seemed far more intimate than her usual flings. Flutterings of hope bounced around in her chest, but she was doing everything she could to quash them. In the moment, it had felt as though everything had fallen into place, but now the edges were crumbling. 

You’re imagining it. You’re wishing it was that.  

Rex was right; it was a quick walk. They made it back to the inn and through the lobby without encountering anyone, and luckily for them, a lift was waiting for them on the ground floor. As she punched the number to the floor they were staying on, she felt Rex’s eyes on her. When the doors hissed shut with a metallic click, he closed the space between them, his hand cradling her face and lifting her eyes to meet his. 

“Hey,” he whispered. The sound of his voice was so gentle she could cry. “Having second thoughts?”

She plastered a smile across her features. “Of course not.” 

It was clear he was unconvinced, but the lift mercifully chimed, alerting them that they’d reached their floor. Senna stepped out of the lift before the doors were all the way open, desperately trying to release the grip that was squeezing her chest. She could still feel Rex’s eyes on her. 

As she strode through the door into their room, she immediately went to the refresher, locking the door, stripping off her clothes, and turning on the shower. She stared at herself in the mirror as the water warmed up. Bruises and bite marks dotted her chest and neck, and her lips were kiss-swollen. The sight of them flooded her with a cacophony of conflicting emotions, but the most noticeable sensation was the heat creeping into her cheeks. Senna composed herself, taking a deep steadying breath as she stepped into the shower, scrubbing as much of the evidence of her and Rex’s activities away as she could. 

Just part of the act. It’s fine. 

Even though she knew she couldn’t wash them away, she ran the washcloth over the love bites dotting her skin, as if she could rinse the memory of how Rex felt in that moment away as well. 

You’re fine. Everything’s alright. 

When she was cleaned to her satisfaction, she stepped out, toweling off quickly. Glancing around, she swore when she realized that in her haste, she hadn’t brought a change of clothes in with her. Wrapping the towel around her body, she steeled herself, opening the door and stepping into the room. 

Rex was sitting on the bed, typing something out on the datapad. He had his shirt off, and the moonlight fell across his bare shoulders. Senna tried to still her heart as he turned to look at her with the sound of the ‘fresher door whooshing open. He sported a few love bites of his own, left by her. Her face felt as though it was on fire as she met his gaze. He gave her a gentle smile, and the flames inside of her quieted to a glowing ember.

Fuck, he’s so beautiful.

“Hey,” he said softly, rising from the bed. 

She pushed some of her damp hair behind her ear. “Hey.” 

Rex set the datapad he was reading from on the desk before approaching her. His eyes were studying her carefully, and Senna fought the urge to squirm under his gaze. He stopped just in front of her, and she was certain he would hear her heart thundering in her chest. Reaching up, he cupped her cheek, and before she could stop herself, she leaned into his touch. His palm was warm against her skin. 

Just a game. Just an act. 

He stepped closer, cradling her face with one hand and studying her features carefully. 

Just an act. 

His other hand slipped around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Her pulse accelerated as her hands slid over his chest, grazing the numerous scars that peppered his skin, the most prominent just below his collar bone in the middle of his sternum. His lips met hers, much less rushed than before. She was able to notice more about the kiss this time without the fuel of desperation and urgency. Rex’s lips were chapped, but warm, and the gentleness with which he cradled her face as he kissed her made her eyes burn with tears. 

It’s just us though. No one else.

He drew back, resting his forehead against hers, but still holding her close. Her knees were shaking underneath her as his eyes studied her carefully in the dim lighting. He’d always been able to see through her, and normally, she appreciated it. Right now, it unnerved her, terrified her even. 

What if he sees how I feel? What if he knows? 

She could feel his thumb rubbing hesitantly against the small of her back.

“Sen, are you alright with everything that just happened?” 

She forced a laugh. “Of course. I wanted it. It’s fine. We’re fine, Rex.” 

“Are you certain?” 

It’s just the two of us now. He has no one left to convince. 

His eyes met hers.

He wants this. And so do you.

Before she could overthink it further, she kissed him again, and he melted into her as she pulled him closer by the belt loops on his trousers. His fingers buried themselves in the damp waves of her hair, cradling the back of her head. Her arms wrapped around him, fingers tracing the muscles of his back. 

Senna couldn’t explain what she was trying to do. It might have been an experiment, to see if he’d let her kiss him in private, it might have been her burying her feelings and keeping herself from pouring her soul out to this man by keeping her mouth busy. She wanted to run, but she also wanted to pull him into bed and let the rest of the galaxy fall away, to get lost in one another. She wasn’t sure what was happening, but one thing that she was sure of was that she didn’t want it to stop. The logical part of her mind was blaring with alarm bells, promising she’d regret it all in the morning, and while she wasn’t sure whether that would be true, she was ready to throw every bit of caution to the wind and find out. 

“Senna,” he whispered against her mouth. “Can I have you again? Right now? Just the two of us.”

Just the two of us. Rex and Senna. 

Her brain was short-circuiting. 

He wants me. This isn’t Lon and Valla. It’s all Rex. And me.  

“Yes,” she whispered before her brain could shriek at her more. 

Rex was unrushed as he kissed her again, working his lips against hers as if he wanted to remember the feel and taste of them. The towel slipped from her body, simply forgotten as Rex guided her towards the bed, easing her down onto the mattress with the same strength and gentleness she’d come to know as him. She trembled, goosebumps erupting across her skin as he straightened, taking her bare body in. His gaze felt piercing, but also like a warm embrace. He sucked a breath in between his teeth as the dull glow of reflected moonlight danced across her skin from the small window. 

“Maker, you’re beautiful,” he whispered. 

Heat rushed to her cheeks, and a giddiness welled up inside her as he shucked off his pants before climbing further onto the mattress and pulling the blankets over the two of them. She trembled as she drank him in, and he paused. 

“We can stop,” he reassured her. 

“Please don’t.”

“You’re shaking, Sen.”

“So are you.” The tremors in his body weren’t as violent as hers, but she could still feel him quivering slightly under her fingertips. 

He huffed a laugh, ducking his head slightly before meeting her gaze again. “Been a while.”

She giggled. “We’ve already done this once.”

He became more serious, his hand drifting up to cradle her face. His thumb stroked her cheek as his eyes pierced through her. “Not like this. Not the way I wanted to.”

Her expression softened. “Oh. Yeah. Guess it’s been a while for me too, then.” 

His hand slipped under the blanket, finding the crook of her knee and coaxing her to wrap her legs around him. She complied, and the trembling within her increased as he pressed closer. She could feel his hardening cock pressing against her heat, and she ground against him slightly, drawing a groan from him. Every cell in her body tingled in anticipation. Rex raised an eyebrow at her. 

“Patience,” he whispered, stroking her cheek again. “I want to take my time with you this go around.” 

He drew back, looking at her in that way that made her heart clench in her chest. He brushed a damp strand of hair out of her eyes, his fingertips lingering against her temple. Senna let her hands wander over his torso, trailing along every ripple of muscle and every raised scar. She wondered if she could map it all in her mind, memorize every inch of him in one night, just in case this was all she was allowed. 

She wanted to try. 

Rex pressed his forehead against hers, still cupping her face gently. “I don’t think I’ve ever been with someone I’ve… that…” Before he could find the words, the words that Senna couldn’t decide if she wanted to hear or was terrified of, she pulled his face down and kissed him again, wrapping her legs around him more tightly and urging him into her. Rex resisted for a moment, as if he was still going to try to get the words out, but when his cock grazed Senna’s slick folds, he surrendered, sinking into her with a groan. His eyes found her as he drew his hips back. She nodded, hoping the plea in her gaze was evident, and he pressed back into her, filling her perfectly. 

This was different from the club. So different. She could feel the warmth of his skin pressed against hers, the way his hands trailed along her body, as if he wanted to feel every inch of her. Without the urgency that had driven them earlier, she was able to note every detail: the way his fingers wove into her hair, the way his breath felt against the skin of her neck and cheek as he panted against her, the way his back grew slick with sweat with every passing second, and the way his muscles rippled under her fingertips with every thrust. He was so reverent, tracing her skin rather than desperately groping her body as other lovers had in the past. He watched every expression she made, smirking when he drew moans and gasps from her, his lips falling open when she squeezed around him. He cupped her breast, squeezing gently and grazing her nipple with his thumb, which caused her to arch into his touch once more. 

“You really like that, don’t you?” he rasped. 

“Yes. Maker, yes.” 

“What else do you like, Senna? Tell me what you want.” 

Her brain fumbled with the question. It was surely meant to be innocuous in this moment, but Maker if it wasn’t a thermal detonator dropping into the pit of her stomach. 

I want everything with you. I want to kiss you. I want to wake up next to you. I want you to look at me like that every day. 

I want you to feel what I feel. 

And I don’t want to lose everything. 

“Harder,” she managed to choke out, hoping that response would suffice. 

Rex chuckled darkly. “Yes ma’am.” 

He pressed his knees forward so that they were more underneath him, and he did as she asked. His fingers tangled in her hair, and he pressed his forehead against hers as he snapped his hips into her once more. Senna’s inner turmoil was almost immediately forgotten as Rex found a devastating place inside of her, one she was fairly certain no one else had ever touched. The force behind every thrust of his hips made the bed creak underneath them, and it wasn’t long before Senna’s gasps turned to whines. 

“Right there, Rex. Maker. Right there. Please don’t stop.”

“You gonna cum for me again, pretty girl? You gonna give me what I want?” he panted against her lips, cradling her head. 

“Yes. Please. I’m so close, Rex. So close.” 

He grunted. “I-I can feel you getting tighter around me.” His hands slipped under the curve of her ass, scooping her closer, and he ground his hips against her, driving his cock impossibly deeper. He buried his face in her neck. 

“You’re perfect. You’re so perfect, Senna. I-I… can I fill you again?” 

Heat flared in Senna’s belly. “Don’t stop, Rex. Please, fill me again.” 

His eyes darkened as he began moving again, maintaining eye contact with her as his hips slapped against her thighs. “Well, when you ask like that, how can I refuse?”

Her eyes fluttered closed and her lips parted as his thrusts grew sharper, punching the air from her lungs as he pushed her closer to the edge again. She could feel his eyes burning into her as her back arched and her head tipped back. She moaned loudly as Rex found the place inside of her once more, grazing it with the blunt head of his cock hard enough to make her see a galaxy’s worth of stars behind her eyelids. 

“Rex, ‘m close. I’m so close,” she whined. Her fingertips dug into his skin, scratching lightly, and that seemed to spur him on more. She could feel him beginning to shudder and his muscles tense as his thrusts grew more erratic. 

“S-Senna, I…” He was interrupted with a punctured groan as his hips stuttered, and she felt his warmth coat her walls. The sensation was enough to yank her over the cliff after him, and her muscles locked down. Her body shuddered through wave after wave of her orgasm, and when the haze finally faded, her eyes fluttered open to find Rex hovering over her, watching her carefully as he tried to catch his breath. They stared into each other’s eyes, panting for a moment before Rex leaned down and placed a kiss to her lips and then her forehead. He lowered himself against her as his softening cock slipped from inside her. His chest was still rising and falling rapidly, and a slick sheen of sweat shone on his skin in the room’s dim lighting. Her fingers trailed along the curve of his collar bone, resting against the scar in the middle of his chest. 

They were silent for what felt like an eternity, just watching one another. He eventually reached up, taking the hand that was tracing the scar in the middle of his chest and interlacing his fingers with hers. He slid to her side, pulling her leg over his thigh and bumping his nose against hers. She couldn’t help but smile, even though the alarm bells had begun to crescendo in her mind again. 

Just let me have this moment with him. Just this. 

She was grateful he didn’t say anything, instead just returning her smile. It was a conversation that she wasn’t ready to have, and when it happened, she wasn’t sure what she would say. But what she was certain of at this moment was that she was in love with this man, and that whatever came next, it would be the hardest decision she’d ever had to make. 

Senna drifted off to the rhythm of Rex’s soft snores, soothed by the feeling of his arms around her as her mind whirled around what to do. 

—

The first thing Rex felt in the morning was the warmth of Lothal’s sunlight on the bare skin of his back as it trickled in through their room’s solitary window. He basked in the place between sleep and approaching consciousness for a few more moments, reveling in how restful the night had been. 

Best I’ve slept in over a year. Maybe ever. No nightmares. 

But then again, there haven’t been any when I’m sleeping next to her. 

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as the haze of sleep began to lift from his mind. 

Senna.

He hadn’t meant for it to happen that way at all. He’d intended to have a conversation with her, to tell her how he felt and explain that he understood any hesitancy that she had. But he needed to know. Dammit, he’d tried at the festival, but as always, the Empire managed to derail things. 

But then, they’d been in the club, and she’d pressed herself against him like that. 

“It’s different when you touch me.” 

And then she’d ridden him in that booth, coupled herself with him and chanted his name like a prayer, and Maker, she was even more beautiful than she’d been in any of his dreams. 

But it had been quick, a taut string snapping. He knew that much, and knew better to mistake it for anything other than that. He’d had enough hook-ups during the war to understand the difference between satisfying needs and something more. 

And that’s why he’d asked her for more in the inn, asked her to be with him again, just him. 

And she had said yes. 

He’d rarely been certain of what his future held throughout his life, having it often dictated by people that didn’t always have his best interest at heart. The autonomy he’d gained had been a massive adjustment in the past year, and while he still wasn’t certain what direction he was heading and how things would look in the next year or even the next day, he knew he wanted Senna with him. He wanted to find out what happened next. With her. 

The night before seemed like a dream. The time they’d spent wrapped up in each other in this bed had confirmed everything he’d thought he was feeling for her. It wasn’t just physical attraction and blowing off steam; he’d never felt a connection like this with anyone else. He was falling in love with her at breakneck speed, and now, he felt less eager to fight those feelings. He’d let his guard down, and it had been worth it in every way. Rex almost didn’t want to open his eyes, just on the off chance that it would all dissipate around him. But he could feel the sheets on his skin, he could feel the ache in muscles that had long gone unused. And he could still hear how his name sounded on her lips echoing in his mind. 

Rex. 

His hand drifted over the sheets to the opposite side of the bed, dipping into the divot that she’d occupied during the night. 

It was cold. 

He opened his eyes, blinking in the bright light. The bed had been mostly remade on her side. 

A soft shuffling behind him drew his attention, and he rolled over to find Senna, fully clothed and sitting on the floor, pulling on her boots. 

“Mornin’,” she said. She couldn’t meet his eyes. 

His heart fell. 

“Mornin’,” he replied, watching her carefully. 

Something in his voice must have given him away. She paused, finally looking at him. “The meet with Fisk is in an hour. Figured we should get there early enough to scout things out and make sure we know all the ins and outs.” 

He nodded, still watching her. She went back to pulling her boots on. He wet his lips. 

“Senna, I-”

She raised a hand, and he fell silent. “I know you’re going to want to talk about last night, and I can’t right now. We can’t. We both need clear heads for this, and this discussion deserves more than a few rushed minutes. Don’t you think?” 

He could follow her reasoning and even agreed with it to an extent, but something about her demeanor made him uncertain how to feel overall. 

“Sure. We can talk when we get back.” 

She nodded. “Good. Glad that’s settled then.” She tossed him his trousers from the floor. “Get dressed.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

—

“See anything?” Senna asked into her commlink, pulling her modulator mask they had salvaged on the way to the market down a little further and adjusting her hood, ensuring that nothing identifiable of her was visible. The mask completely covered her face with only a polarized, reflective viewport, an air filtration apparatus, and of course the voice modulator itself that, when activated, made her sound like a droid when she spoke.

“Not since the last time you asked me thirty seconds ago,” Rex grumbled back through the comm.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m starting to think he’s going to be a no-show.”

“Isn’t patience one of your things?” he asked.

“I was never particularly good at that thing.” 

He grunted back through the comm, and she wondered if it had been a laugh. She hoped so. 

The walk to the market had been more tense than she’d anticipated with the gap between them both shrinking and somehow expanding at the same time. The look on Rex’s face that morning when he’d woken up nagged at her. He’d been so excited to see her when he first rolled over that she briefly considered calling the whole meet off and just crawling back into bed with him. When she'd pulled herself together and been stern, she could see his confusion, his hurt. 

She’d never meant to hurt him. 

Selfish. That’s what you are, Aven.

The rising sun had brought with it clarity and regret. She didn’t necessarily regret the sex, but the timing couldn’t have been poorer. It wasn’t how she’d wanted it to go if it was going to happen. She had wanted Rex, and she had given in without considering any other factors aside from her own desire. She hadn’t stopped to consider his feelings, the consequences of crossing that line, or the fact that she’d put Rex in danger the night before, and it wasn’t the first time. His words from her last meeting with Fisk echoed in her mind. 

"So if you’re ever in a position like that again, you fight like hell, and I will come and find you, no matter what happens next."

Even before they’d slept together, Rex had been willing to sacrifice himself to save her, to put himself in harm’s way on her account. She had to imagine it would only be worse now. It was a point to be debated, but not right before this meeting with Fisk. The conversation deserved time and consideration, something they definitely didn’t have this morning. 

At least his head seems clear. 

She just hoped that by the time they did sit down and talk, she’d have the right words for it. Right now, she felt like she was floundering still. Being with Rex had been so easy, and it had felt good. It had felt right. She was in love with him, there was hardly any denying that, and she was also pretty sure he reciprocated those feelings. It was hard to deny that being true with the way he’d looked at her, with the way he’d touched her. 

How he’s always touched you. How he’s always been with you. 

Has it been that long? 

I’m such a fool.

Hot tears stung her eyes beneath the mask. 

And now I may have ruined everything. For him. For me. For us. 

Suddenly, she spotted the flash of a uniform in the crowd, Commander Fisk’s polished rank plaque gleaming in the afternoon sunlight. “Look alive, he’s here,” she buzzed into the comm, glad the modulator covered the strain of her voice. She glanced up at the rooftop he was perched on, noting the glint of his blaster and the flash of blonde hair. His presence soothed her, knowing he was watching and had her back. There was no way for Fisk to recognize her, no reason for him to suspect it was her, but her fingers still flexed nervously in her gloves. She  quickly adjusted her cloak and hood one more time and made sure her hair was tucked within the mask before trailing a safe distance behind the commander.

Fisk wove throughout the stalls towards the designated meeting spot at the back of the market. Senna allowed several people to pass in between them, occasionally stopping at stalls and looking at wares while keeping an eye on the sweating man in his black dress uniform. Once he made it to the corner she’d specified, he stopped turning slowly, his eyes scanning the crowd. She saw his eyes pass right over her without hesitation.

You hold the upper hand. He has no idea it’s you.

“Any obvious tails?” she whispered into her comm.

“None that I can see. Just be cautious. Keep your head on a swivel,” Rex’s voice rumbled in reply.

“Roger that. I’ll leave my comm on so you can eavesdrop, so radio silence from here on out.”

“You got it.” 

She did her best not to consider the sharpness of his tone. 

Senna casually wove her way through the throng, circling behind Fisk, allowing her eyes to rove the crowd, looking for anyone that was staring at him a bit too long or looked like they didn’t belong. After a few minutes, she was satisfied and quietly walked up behind him, her back to him. 

“Afternoon, Commander Fisk. Nice to see you out and about,” her voice buzzed. She couldn’t hear it well inside the hood, but Rex had assured her the modulator made her sound unrecognizable. That didn’t stop her from holding her breath as she waited for his reply. 

He didn’t turn his head, but he peered at her from out of the corner of his eye. “It’s not like you gave me much of an option, scum.”

He definitely doesn’t know it’s you. You’re safe. 

The tension left her shoulders, replaced by a calm confidence and an urge to make the commander squirm. “Now, now, there’s no reason to start name calling. I’m here to help you out of the mess you’ve created by being a lazy Imperial. Wouldn’t want your superiors to find out you’ve been breaking protocol with your decryption disk and flaunting all sorts of other security rules. You’re a walking security breach, Fisk.”

A trail of sweat rolled down his temple, glistening in the sun. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please, you told that woman about your encryption disk in the market loud enough for everyone within the system to hear you. I’m sure that’s not the only rule you’ve broken as a matter of convenience.” She chuckled to herself, unable to resist a quick taunt. “Was it worth it by the way? Was she impressed?”

He scoffed. 

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then.”

Fisk’s temple throbbed with indignation. “What do you want?”

“Information of course.”

“Pertaining to what?”

“The massive engineering project the Empire is undertaking.”

“You’ll have to be more specific.”

An impatient edge crept into her voice. “Don’t play dumb, Fisk. It doesn’t suit you in this instance. Tell me about the project that’s got the Empire willing to strip Lothal of virtually all of its resources and render it nearly uninhabitable. The superweapon.”

Her comm started crackling in her pocket. She reached down to turn it off before she realized it was crackling in a very specific, rhythmic pattern. Rex didn’t have a voice mod, but he was trying to signal her of something. She turned to look at Fisk, and he was facing her now, a devilish grin sweeping across his face. 

Oh, kriff.

Suddenly, a legion of stormtroopers came charging down the street behind her, their boots clicking against the pavement. She whirled to find Fisk leveling his blaster at her. “How unfortunate,” he gloated. “It seems we’ll have to meet again another time. Perhaps an interrogation chamber this afternoon?”

As his finger clenched the trigger, Senna instinctively reached out with the Force to push his arm skyward, sending the blaster fire into the air. It was a desperate move, and to her surprise, it worked, although not as strongly as she would have liked. 

Good enough. Getting better.

Racing forward, she landed a punch to his face before grabbing his shoulders and kneeing him in the groin. He let out a satisfying yelp as he dropped to his knees and she kicked his dropped blaster away. “SEIZE HIM! SEIZE THE SPY! HE’S A JEDI!” Fisk screeched, spittle flying from his mouth as his eyes bulged. 

A little sexist with the assumption, but I guess that tracks for him, she thought as she turned and raced for cover. 

At least I know he really doesn’t suspect me now.

The building corner behind her exploded with blaster fire from the approaching stormtroopers, and she dove behind the nearest stall. Drawing the blaster Rex had given her that morning, she ran, staying low behind the stalls, aiming for the opposite corner of the market and trying to blend into the crowd. Everyone was running and screaming as the stormtroopers marched forward, taking aim at the hooded figure scrambling to get away. Unable to push through the stampede of people, Senna took refuge behind the counter of a fruit vendor’s stand.

She fumbled in her pocket, yanking her comm out. “Hey, you there? I’m in a bit of a tough spot.”

“Yes, you are. I can see you tucked down behind that stall. You’ve got a lot of company,” Rex replied. She tried to get eyes on Rex, but the second she lifted her head up above the wooden counter of the stall, the air around her erupted with plasma bolts. 

“Keep your karking head down,” Rex’s voice growled from the comm. 

“How many?” she gasped, sitting back down heavily.

“I’m estimating you’ve got a dozen inbound from the direction you came, and another two squads of about the same amount flanking you from the south and the northeast. Your best bet is to get to the western corner. I’ll make my way down there and meet you in the second alley on the right.”

“You got it. Can I get a little cover fire?” she asked as one of the fruit on the stall’s counter exploded just to her left from a blaster bolt barrage.

“Yes, ma’am.” Rex took aim with his weapon and peppered the troopers approaching her from behind. One or two fell, and the others scrambled to find cover. As they scattered, Senna stood, taking advantage of the confusion and, leveling her blaster at them, fired off several rounds in quick succession as she raced towards the exit. By now, the market had mostly cleared of everyone except the Imperials, and Senna realized they’d brought a small army to apprehend her. 

Kriff.

“Don’t stop running,” came Rex’s voice from the commlink in her hand. “Detonators incoming.” Explosions erupted behind her a few seconds later, and Senna ducked instinctively. The air around her filled with smoke and dust, and her ears were ringing slightly from the blasts.

“Thanks for the heads up,” she muttered into the comm.

“Less sass, more running.”

The western corner still had a pretty good crowd, and they weren’t getting out of Senna’s way fast enough. She slammed into bypasser after bypasser, trying to duck low. Suddenly, the street opened up and she was dumped into an intersection. She whirled frantically, trying to search the street for the rendezvous point Rex had indicated. 

Did I miss the alley?

Turning around, she finally caught sight of the alley, and she swore under her breath when saw that the stormtroopers had already advanced beyond it, blocking her from it. However, they too were struggling to get through the crowd, and she imagined her brown cloak made her a hard target to pick out in the masses. Pulling out her comm, she flicked on the button, voice modulator still buzzing. “I missed the rendezvous.”

There was a heavy sigh on the other end of the link. “Of course you did. Where are you now?”

“In some sort of major intersection. I think –” 

A blaster bolt struck her directly in her abdomen before she could finish her thought, knocking the wind from her. 

Senna had never been shot before, but it was about what she expected: a radiating burst of the worst pain she’d ever felt, a burning sensation and smell, a strong force that knocked her off balance. Her mind screamed and her vision blurred slightly as she fell forward onto her hands, her eyes frantically scanning the crowd around her. She struggled to breathe, unable to scream from the flaring pain originating in her stomach, and her limbs trembled beneath her. 

Rex. Please don’t find me, she thought. 

Just run. 

I’m sorry.

She collapsed to the ground, grasping at her side and gasping for breath. The pain was immense, numbing her senses as she felt where the blaster bolt had burned into her body. Her mind only caught glimpses of what was around her as she tried to get her bearings. 

A purple skirt fluttering over running boots, a child’s doll abandoned in the dirt, familiar brown eyes that were Rex’s and weren’t, disappearing in a flash of fading blue. 

She blinked in confusion.

Blaster. Where’s your blaster?

She clawed at her weapon in the dirt, finally grabbing it and whipping it around to fire at her pursuers. The stormtroopers were advancing slowly from about twenty meters away, and she managed to land a hit on the one furthest forward. If she was going down, she would take a few with them. But they never retaliated.

Why aren’t they firing back? I’m on the ground? Why…

The reasoning slammed into her with alarming clarity.

They…they want me alive.

Her mind raced in terror, flooded with images of an interrogation room, of a captured Rex in binders, of Fisk’s triumphant grin. 

No.

I have to get up. I have to get up. GET UP. 

She noticed several of the stormtroopers had held back and were scanning the crowd. 

They know I’m not alone. They’re trying to draw him out. I have to get out of here. 

GET UP. YOU HAVE TO GO.

Muttering every curse she knew, she pushed herself up with one hand and stumbled unsteadily towards the opposite direction, the pain blinding her. Another volley of blaster bolts hit the dirt at her feet, narrowly missing her. 

Run. RUN. 

She tripped over her own dragging toes, falling to the ground again. Suddenly, two smoke grenades rolled to a stop meters in front of her, releasing their gas and obscuring her from view. She heard the stormtroopers shout in alarm and another volley of shots cut through the smoke over her head. She scrambled forward and abruptly found herself in the crowd on the opposite side of the intersection. A flash of dark brown cut through the sea of panicked people and suddenly a large hand grabbed her arm, pulling her further into the throng.

“CAN YOU RUN?” Rex shouted over the din of the panicked mob. He had a scarf pulled over the bottom of his face, hiding his nose and mouth, but there was urgency in his eyes, and something else that Senna had never seen before from him; he was afraid.

The pain in her side was causing her body to unload adrenaline in her system, and suddenly she was awake in the chaos. She nodded, hissing as she clasped her hand over the burn mark in her tunic, pressing against the blaster wound. They raced through the crowd, Rex’s arm wrapped around her waist, fingers digging into her belt to hold her up. 

“Keep your head down!”

They raced along the edge of the buildings lining the street, blaster fire echoing over their heads as the advancing soldiers tried to clear the crowd to search for their quarry. Quickly, Rex pulled her down a series of alleyways, weaving in between dwellings and ducking through archways until they were halfway down a dark passage and the sound of the mayhem had faded slightly behind them. He tucked her behind a stack of empty crates, leaning her against an exterior wall.

“Stay here.”

She ripped off her modulator mask, gasping loudly. “Does it look like I’m going anywhere?”

He ignored the comment, heading back the way they’d come with long strides, blaster tucked against his side with his finger on the trigger. Senna waited for several minutes, trying to make herself as inconspicuous as possible behind the crates, listening to the commotion she assumed was their pursuers fading further into the distance. Her fear of being vulnerable almost numbed the throbbing pain coming from the blaster wound.

After what felt like an eternity, Rex returned, pulling down his face cover. “They’re a good distance off and headed in the opposite direction of us, but they’re organizing sweeps of the district. We have to get moving.” He looked down at her shaking hand pressing into her abdomen, a small trickle of blood seeping through her fingers. “Alright, let’s see it,” he whispered, crouching down in front of her.

She gasped as he peeled her hand away, revealing the nearly perfectly circular hole in her clothing. His fingers found the edge of her tunic, and his eyes met hers, asking permission. She nodded at him, and he gently pulled the fabric up to reveal the injury. She gasped in pain as some of the fibers from her tunic that had been fused into the cauterization of the wound pulled at her damaged skin, and he pressed his forehead to hers, quietly shushing her. 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Pulling a small light from his belt, he illuminated the small space to try and get a better look. She felt her body tingle as she stared at the decent-sized hole in her abdomen. He noted her shock.

“What, have you never been shot before?” he tried to tease, but she could see the concern etched into his features and how hard he swallowed.

“You know, the idea was to not get shot,” she muttered through gritted teeth. 

“Yeah, well not all of us succeeded at that,” he replied. “I didn’t get that scar in the middle of my chest playing bolo-ball.” He clicked off the light and dug through his hip pouch. “I’m afraid I didn’t bring much in terms of first aid, so you’ll have to make do with a bacta patch until we can get back. The good news is it appears mostly cauterized with minimal bleeding, and I don’t think it hit anything critical.”

“I gotta tell you, Rex, when it hit me, and you say it didn’t hit anything critical, that kind of hurts,” she joked.

Taking a sterilization pad from his pouch, he looked up at her sympathetically. “Unfortunately, I think this is going to hurt worse,” and without any additional warning, he pressed it against the wound. Senna squirmed back against the wall, a quiet curse erupting from her while she bit back a yelp, but he held her still, leaning against her and pressing his forehead against hers once more, whispering apologies. She wrapped her arms around him, digging her fingers into the fabric of his cloak as he tried as gently as he could to clean the damage.

“I really don’t like you right now,” she hissed in his ear. 

“Understandable. Hang on, we’re almost done.”

He leaned back as he unwrapped a bacta patch and looked at her. She could feel the tear stains running down her dust-covered cheeks, but she sniffled defiantly as he leaned forward to place the patch. 

“This should feel better than the disinfectant,” he tried to reassure her.

“Yeah, I’ll believe it when I –“ he pressed the patch on without preamble, the pressure making her curse one more time.

She leaned back against the wall, gently banging the back of her head against it and pounding her first into the dirt until the pain finally dulled to a throbbing ache. Some of the tension in her shoulders eased, and she suddenly felt exhausted. 

It’s too much. All too much. 

Rex gave her a few more minutes to recover as he kept an eye on the opposite end of the passage.

“Can you walk upright?” he asked.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“You can’t look hurt.”

“I know, Rex,” she snapped, finally hitting her limit. 

He eyed her before tossing her a new tunic. “Put this on. Your shirt’s got a pretty obvious burn mark and plenty of blood on it.”

“Where did you even get this?”

“Found someone’s laundry line when I doubled back to make sure we’d lost them.”

She huffed a laugh. “You know, you might just be smarter than you look.”

His mouth tugged into a flash of a smirk before he schooled his expression back to stoicism. “Just put it on. We’re not out of this yet,” he muttered, turning his back to give her some privacy.

A snarky comment about how he’d already seen her naked died in her throat. 

Not the time. 

After several seconds of grunting and swearing Senna managed to wriggle into the tunic, tapping Rex on the shoulder. “Well, this might be as good as it gets.” The garment was a little large on her, but it at least didn’t press against the bacta patch quite so much. 

He took her cheeks in his hands and did his best to wipe away the tear stains and dust as she pulled her cloak back around her shoulders. She ignored the tenderness of the gesture and tried not to overthink it. Using her ruined shirt, she attempted to clean as much of the blood off of her hands as she could.

“Alright, are you ready? We’re going to have to move quickly,” he rasped, his eyes searching hers. 

She nodded, and he handed her a scarf to cover her face, pulling his own back up as well. The two of them crept back out of the alley and walked into the street, pulling their hoods low and blending into the crowd. Instinctively, their hands found each other as they stuck to each other’s sides. 

—

They made it back to the inn just as the sun was beginning to sink towards the horizon. Senna managed to remain upright and keep the façade of being perfectly fine intact until they got to their room. Quickly, Rex helped her inside and shut the door behind them. 

“Would it be better to sit up or lie down?” he asked.

“I think just put me on the bed and I’ll figure it out,” she grimaced. He quickly guided her over to the edge of the mattress and allowed her to sit, helping her peel her cloak off. She did her best not to think about what they’d done in that bed the night before. “I think laying down is going to be the way to go,” she conceded after a few minutes.

“Alright, lay across it width-wise,” Rex instructed. “I should be able to get at it better that way anyway.” He dug through his kit for medical supplies before dragging a chair to the edge of the bed. Senna tipped back on her elbows, pulling the stolen tunic up and peeling off the bacta patch with a grunt of discomfort. 

Rex was quiet as he gave her an injection to numb the pain, working quickly and carefully to flush the wound to clean it better. Once he had ensured that the clotting hadn’t trapped any foreign substances, he replaced the bacta patch with a more potent one designed specifically for blaster wounds. 

Laying there, watching him work, Senna couldn’t help but notice the furrows in Rex’s brow were even more prominent than usual, and she remembered the fear in his eyes when he had grabbed her. Sitting up gingerly once he went to dispose of the used supplies in the waste bin by the window, she pulled her shirt back down to cover the bandage, gently testing her mobility by twisting and turning a bit. Her eyes fell to where he stood, his back to her as he stared out the window. His hands were trembling at his sides. 

She still wasn’t ready for the conversation she could sense barrelling towards her, but she’d made her decision. 

You owe him that much.

Taking a deep breath, she leaned her elbows onto her knees. 

“You should have left me there.” 

A poor opening statement, but she hadn’t had time to think of a better one. Rex turned to look at her, the furrow between his brows deepening. 

“Most people would start with ‘thanks for saving my life,’ but I suppose you’ve never been someone to do things the normal way.” 

Anger flared within her. “You could have been captured. This entire trip was allowed on the premise that we wouldn’t get captured.” 

“So I was supposed to just let you be the one to get captured then?” His voice had dropped to a familiar gravelly octave, one that she’d only ever heard on Empire Day. “I told you I wouldn’t let that happen.” 

What right does he have to be angry?  

“Rex –”

“You don’t understand,” he interrupted. “You…you went down so hard and you didn’t move. I thought…I thought I’d lost you.” He was barely keeping his emotions at bay, his voice softening slightly. “I can’t…I can’t lose you, Senna.” 

“Losing people is part of war,” she countered sharply, trying not to let herself crumble. “We’re still fighting. It’s always a possibility.”

He shook his head firmly, and she grew silent again. “Not. You. I won’t lose you,” he rasped quietly.

She opened her mouth, searching for words, and then Rex’s comm buzzed. She gingerly pushed herself to a standing position, slowly walking towards the desk where it rested, but he grabbed her wrist firmly as she tried to pass him.

“Leave it,” he said quietly. He stepped closer to her, clasping her hands in his tightly. “I don’t want to fight with you right now,” he whispered. “Senna, I need to tell you something.”

Her breath hitched at his touch, and she felt tears spring to her eyes unbidden. She knew what he wanted to say. And she knew she had to stop it from happening. 

“Rex, we can’t,” she whispered.

His head snapped up and his eyes met hers. The hurt in his warm, brown irises gutted her.

“What? But last night –”

“Was a mistake, Rex.” She hoped she sounded firm, even if she didn’t completely believe it to be true.

You love him. 

But you can’t do this to him.  

The pain in his eyes almost killed her resolve. She’d never wanted to hurt him. That was the last thing she wanted. But that was all she would do, together or apart, physically or emotionally. 

Better to stop it before it starts. 

“I don’t believe you,” he rasped. “I see how you look at me, Senna. How you were with me. Please.”

“We CAN’T,” she said with all of the force and firmness she could muster. 

“We could. We could be-“ he tried again, but Senna charged forward, cutting him off again. 

“Be what, Rex? Liabilities to one another?” she sighed, desperately trying to keep her voice from cracking. 

How does he not see? With all that strategic ingenuity and wit, how can he not see how this ends?

“Do you think that we aren’t already?”

Frustration overtook her, and she stalked away from him, pacing at the opposite end of the room. “It will only get worse, no matter which direction this goes. Either we become closer and the missions become more dangerous, and we wind up making bad calls to keep one another safe, or we grow apart and can no longer rely on each other. We have to not change things. This is working right now, as it is. We have to do this.”

“What if we don’t want to?”

She laughed incredulously. “What we want doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?”

“Because it doesn’t,” she snapped. “Not in the grand scheme of things. We are working for something so much bigger than ourselves, Rex, and lives depend on us. You know that. If you wanted to live out your fantasy life with a wife and kids on your farm, you should have walked away after the war ended. You should have run off to some outer rim world and hunkered down there. I can’t give you that life. We don’t have that option now.”

He scoffed. “So that’s it then. We choose to do this, put our lives on the line and stand up for what’s right, and you think we don’t deserve happiness because of that? If anything, I’d say we’re more deserving of it.” He scrubbed his hands over his hair. “Are you seriously going to stand there and tell me you don’t feel the same way that I do, Senna?”

He knows you. 

She jutted her chin out defiantly, clenching her fists so hard she was certain she’d have bloody crescents where her fingernails dug into her palms. Taking a deep breath, she met his gaze. “I don’t feel the same way, Rex. I don’t feel that we can do this and have those sorts of attachments.”

The word landed the way she’d hoped. She knew it would. It didn’t make it hurt any less. 

“How very Jedi of you,” he replied darkly. “Tossing out the attachment rule when it best suits you.” 

She tried to keep her gaze and tone level. “I’m trying to keep you…keep us alive. I can’t love you and do my job.”

“So, you love me then.”

Fuck.

Anger and frustration flared within her. Anger at her accidental admission, anger that she couldn’t be with him, and anger that he couldn’t understand why. 

“Why don’t you tell me since you seem to have all of this figured out, Captain?” she snarled. “Since you seem to know exactly what I want.” 

In a move her addled brain could have never accounted for, Rex walked swiftly across the room to where she was pacing, slipped his fingers into her hair and kissed her. Senna’s breath caught in her throat along with every retort she’d been preparing to sling at him. The familiarity of his lips on hers and the way his hands cradled her face finally pulled the tears from her eyes, and they streamed down her cheeks. 

You love him. Fuck, you love him. 

Rex pulled away first, resting his forehead against hers and stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. “I would never presume to tell you what you want, Senna. But I need to hear you tell me again that you don’t want this. Tell me again and mean it.”

The tears wouldn’t stop coming as Senna’s hands slipped around his wrists. “Rex, I…we…I just can’t. Please don’t ask this of me.” With that, she shoved past him into the refresher. He let her go, the door sliding shut behind her.

Senna managed to wait until the door completely closed before she leaned back against it, slowly sinking to the floor. She buried her face in her hands, sobbing as quietly as she could.

Of course she wanted him. She’d been in love with him for longer than she cared to think about and had just refused to acknowledge it. How could she, knowing the task they had ahead of them and what it would mean for both of them? If they were discovered by leadership, what would that mean? Expulsion from the rebellion? Because how could anyone count on two romantically involved people to be objective, to keep their eyes on the prize? And even if no one found out, how could she allow it to happen, especially after today? After last night? After the night with Fisk? 

He’ll always put you first. He’ll always risk everything for you. 

And I can’t allow that. Even if I love him. And even if he loves me. 

There was a soft knock at the door, and she straightened up, frantically wiping the tears on her face away and clearing her throat. “Yeah?”

“That was Organa. Word’s out about the incident in the market.”

Fuck. Already made it to the Senate. She closed her eyes. Fuck. 

“They’re still searching that district, but it sounds like the search will expand within the next few hours,” Rex continued. “We need to get a transport out of here before they lock down the ports. We are to return to our dwelling and await further instruction.” His voice was back to the stern tone that he’d used when they first met. It broke her heart.

“Understood. I can have everything packed in half an hour.”

She heard him stand outside the door for a few more seconds, and with a deep sigh, walk away, the main door to their room sliding open and shut. She took one more deep breath, and then got to her feet to begin preparing for the return journey.

She caught her own reddened, tear-filled eyes in the mirror. 

This is right. For both of us. Even if he can’t see it yet. And even if I can’t. 

Wiping at her cheeks, she squared her shoulders. 

This is how it has to be.

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[talltalesandbedtimestories]

“Hard Boot” - Dean x Reader

Part of the “Control Panel” Series

Rating Mature

Dean x Reader (Newly Established Intimate Relationship)

Tags: Dean Angst and Self-Loathing, Inability to Word, Adult Language, Dean POV

Word Count: 2500

After one night of sexual exploration, a case lured you both back into hunting mode. There was hardly time to breathe, let alone figure out how you were collectively supposed to handle this new aspect of your relationship. Is it any wonder Dean had to go and mess it up? That’s his expertise.

Note: You don’t have to read the first part, Factory Reset, to get the gist of this “What the heck are we supposed to do now? Friends to lovers” trope. But if you’re intrigued by these two, please try it.

I'm participating in @jacklesversebingo and this part will fill my "Admit it." square.

Image created in Canva (credit for photo used:  Supernatural/Warner Bros.)

The shot glass tinks atop the counter. It’s barely audible. Dean glances up and the bartender appears, summoned by the tell tale call of a drunk.

Not just any drunk. The Fuck It Up Seven Ways To Sunday kind of drunk. Also known as Dean Winchester.

The bar is deserted. It’s 1:00 pm on a Wednesday outside the touristy parts of New Orleans.

The bartender tips the whiskey bottle in her hand. Dean nods. She pours.

“So, what exactly are you tryna drown, cher? Cause it might be easier to head a little north and walk into Lake Pontchartrain.”

Dean snorts. “Trust me, that’s crossed my mind.”

All the wrinkles in the older woman’s face droop along with her frown. “It can’t be that bad. Unless you’re broke… or your heart is.” 

Dean shifts atop the stool. “My wallet’s full, thanks. Leave the bottle.”

Dean grunts at his inability to put one foot in front of the other trekking down the hallway to the hotel room. The air is spinning around him in a vortex, forcing his body to lean to the right even though his brain tries to rationally push forward. He’s in an anti-funhouse of his own creation. 

He doesn’t remember how he finally gets into the room. Just that he is. He flops on the bed. Breathes in deep and holds it. Staving off the nausea that he deserves.

You should be here. Beside him. Celebrating a win.

He closes his eyes and lets the pain and loss keep him company instead in the late afternoon.

Sleep eludes him. He tosses. Turns. Spends time with his head hanging over the toilet bowl.

He stares at the alarm clock on the nightstand as it ticks over into 10 PM territory. When his eyes peel open again, it’s sometime after 1 AM.

He sniffs the air.

He smells you.

Before he can realize it’s a mistake, he springs to sitting. The hammer nailing together a house in his head takes a back seat to the elation seeing you sat at the foot of the bed.

You look demure in your side saddle position. The patient stare has Dean wondering how long you’ve been watching him sleep.

He wants to ask. But he’s afraid anything he says is going to be wrong. So he just stares back.

Your face is void of any discernible emotion.

And that freaks Dean out more than anything. Because even when he couldn’t read you like a book, he could at least hazard a guess. Even if it was wrong, it was something.

But all he sees now is a shield. A wall that he’s caused.

“I’m gonna head out.” You state in a curt tone that leaves no room for debate.

“You already were out.” The head pounding irritation preoccupies him enough that the sass spills out, uncontrolled. Your lids slit for a second. Well, he got some reaction.

“I-” You straighten up. A sorry attempt at a laugh huffs out. “Forget it.” You’re up off the bed and snagging items dropped around the room. Things are stuffed into your bag with haste.

Dean wants the elation to return to the room. Twenty-four hours prior, you were smiling. Eager to track down the Djinn. It had been a day’s drive from Lebanon to New Orleans, with a 6-hour stop in between at the Cradle Rock Motel.

Dean would have done whatever you wanted in that motel room. All that possibility and you had him flying high on adrenaline. You’d handled him with kid gloves and given him an experience he’d cherish, even if he was still sore. He would have let you strap on Marvin again and fold him like Origami. He wanted that again. He wanted it all with you.

But all you had wanted in the end as you laid in bed was to curl up and sleep in his arms. You wanted to rest before getting back on the road in your separate rides. 

And the simple act of being with you. Static. Stationary. Silent. That was wonderful, too.

There was the promise of staying in bed for days after you took care of the monster together. Lingering lips. Suggestive smirks. Greedy gropes.

All of that was a distant memory now.

You throw the duffle over your shoulder. “Bye, Dean.”

He bungees off the bed. Rushes to the door to wedge between you and the exit. “That’s it?” His stomach roils at the exertion but he pushes it down.

Your voice doesn’t waver. “For now. Yeah.”

Dean holds his ground for another second. Two. Three. Four.

“Don’t make it worse.” You plead.

That reminds him the ownness of this whole mess is in fact on him. And he relinquishes.

And watches you walk out the door.

 

Dean clinks down the iron bunker stairs. Three weeks of hunting non-stop has joints creaking, muscles aching. He plans to beeline it to the showers and let the glorious water pressure ease some of the pain. There’s also an 80-year old bottle of Macallan in his bedroom that will ease everything else.

Sam’s out at Eileen’s. The texts back and forth earlier were short and mainly for informational purposes. Sam gave up trying to find out what was going on with Dean two weeks back. As long as he checked in and provided proof of life, Sam didn’t pester for details.

Dean marches through the war room, into the library, weaves the labyrinth of halls to get to his room.

He keeps his head down when he rounds the final corner. He doesn’t want to glimpse the door marked number 16 at the end of the hallway. It’s your bedroom. Well, whenever you crash at the bunker it’s yours.

There’s a twist in his gut when he realizes you might never sleep in that bed or cross the threshold into the Men of Letters homebase again.

He’s been avoiding returning because of all the reminders of you. The wound is as fresh and festering as it was when you left him in New Orleans. He can distract from the pain during moments occupied with cases and bad guys. This, not so much.

He opens his door, good ole number 11. 

When he left this room last, you were here with him. 

And goddammit. You’re all he can see no matter where his gaze lands.

The duffle drops onto the mattress. Another musty bed in another room in another hallway might be a better alternative tonight.

He considers it. He’ll decide for sure after his shower.

Dean grumbles when he gets back to the room.

It shouldn’t be possible and his mind must be playing tricks on him, but he thinks he catches the scent of you. 

Yeah, he can’t sleep in here tonight.

He runs a hand through his towel dried hair and peels off Tad’s robe. He toes out of the slippers and tugs on a pair of sweats and a well-worn henley. The realization he’s donned the shirt inside out takes a backseat to the more important matter of grabbing the bottle of Macallan.

He shuffles over in bare feet and squats by the cabinet under his desk. His mouth is watering in anticipation of that smooth amber-colored nectar coating his throat.

“What the fuck?” he mumbles in confusion.

The bottle is gone.

“Looking for this?”

Dean stills at the question floating over his shoulder.

The voice isn’t something he expected to hear back at the bunker anytime soon. Maybe ever.

He rises, inhales through his nose. Mentally prepares for when he turns and faces you.

When he does rotate on his heels, he purses his lips into a tight line. He can’t let the impulse to smile win out.

You're wearing one of his flannels. It’s the black, white and gray one he hasn’t worn in ages. And the way the sweatpants hang loose and baggy and obscure your feet; well, he’s pretty sure those are his, too. Leaning against the doorsill, you look as if you’re trying way too hard to appear casual about any of this. The bottle of Macallan in your grip is displayed as a peace offering.

There’s the tiniest grin quirking up your lips. You look at the bottle, then to Dean. “I was keeping an eye on it.”

Dean inspects the liquid level of the scotch as a distraction. If he stares at that mouth of yours a second longer, he’ll forgive you for anything.  “That’s about four fingers lighter than when I left.”

Your brows raise. Mouth opens. Dean knows you're ready to dispute his measurements. But something else clicks in Dean’s head and he doesn’t give you a chance.

“How long have you been staying here?”

You sigh and enter the bedroom. The bottle rests on the tiny corner table. You collapse into the chair beside it. “This’ll be my third night.”

Dean stands there. Blinks. You settling in is hopefully a good sign.

“Sam gave me a heads up that you were coming back some time tonight.”

“Why didn’t you high tail it out of here when you got wind of me?” Dean asks.

Your mouth tilts into a frown. “I came here to wait for your slow ass to return, Winchester.” You thumb at the bottle. “I may have needed some liquid courage during my stay to, you know, stick around.”

Dean crosses his arms, determined not to give an inch. Doesn’t matter how goddamn sexy you look. How your hair’s mussed from laying in bed. How his oversized shirt is unbuttoned enough at the collar to display the lovely expanse of skin from the column of your neck to the round of your shoulder. He prepares for the flailing you must have been wanting to give him so badly that you camped here for days. He tries not to think about how much he’d love to bend over so you can give him a spanking.

You stare up at him from the chair. “Oookaayyy.” Palms run over cloth-covered thighs. “I wanted to explain myself. Back in New Orleans.”

Dean shrugs, his crossed arms lifting up with the movement.

“We were a mess on that hunt.” You start. “All sorts of wrong. Second guessing. Getting in each other’s way. That Djinn got the upperhand on us because we were sloppy.”

Dean scoffs. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“You tackled it while I was about to kill the fucking thing.” You counter.

“You were getting choked out WHILE it was lighting up like an electric smurf.” Dean’s voice rises.

“I had the silver knife to its throat UNTIL you hip checked and then rolled around with Mr. Sandman doing the horizontal mambo.”

“Who was trying to pull it off me only to get a nasty throat punch?”

You raise both hands. “Look, my point is we were off our game. And I’ve never, ever had to worry about you having my back. Until that hunt.”

Dean rolls his shoulders like he’s ready to take flight. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Do you think I’m a good hunter?” you ask.

“What the hell kind of question is that?”

“A simple one.” A tap on the table precedes your rise. You stroll with purpose towards him. “Do you think I’m a good hunter?” you repeat.

“Of course I do. You might even be the third best hunter on the planet.”

You smile and, dammit, Dean melts a little. You clear your throat and the smile fades. “Then why didn’t you let me do my job?”

Dean stills. He watches your frame relax. The bravado seeps from your posture.

“Things are different between us now.” You sigh. “I hoped that what we did would bring us closer. More in sync on a hunt. But it did the exact opposite.” Another step brings you right up into Dean’s space. You latch onto a forearm. “Your head wasn’t in that hunt with me.”

“It was.”

You shake your head. “No. Your heart was. And so was mine.” Your voice breaks a little. “All I could think about was how I needed to protect you.”

“When do we not think about protecting a hunting partner?”

“That’s gotta go hand in hand with the mission, though; not take over.” The warm fingers drop from Dean’s arm. “I told Sam what happened.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “And what did Mr. Know It All have to say?”

Your shoulder lifts and almost touches your ear. “He said ‘welcome to the club.’”

“Huh?”

“Sam said you must care about me an awful lot if you were constantly undermining my ability to actually get the fucking job done. That sacrificing yourself is part of your DNA.” A full-watt smile - the one that makes Dean’s insides warm up - graces your face. “That you’ll die a hundred times over to prevent the recipient of all that care and concern from even getting a splinter in their thumb.” The snark in your tone is sharp and cutting. “Admit it.”

“Well, that’s just a flat out exaggeration.”

Suddenly, all of the playfulness in your expression is gone. You frown. “You don’t care about me like that?”

“What? No. I mean, yes, of course I care about you like that.”

“Good.” The smile returns. “Because I know for a fact that none of that is an exaggeration where Sam is concerned. You’ve figured out how to make it work with Sam. You and I are going to have to make that happen, too.”

Dean’s grinning back. “Any suggestions?”

“You could follow my lead and do what I say at all times.” You offer.

“I’m all about that in almost every scenario. Except when we’re hunting.”

You nod. “We’re not hunting now.” Dainty fingers clasp over his hand. “I’m sorry I ran away.” You whisper, staring into his eyes.

Your small frame belies your strength and formidable capability when it comes to a hunt. And though Dean’s only had one taste of your dominance in bed, you handled him with care and exerted contained control. But now Dean needs you to know how much he intends on proving his worth to you. He’s more than a deft hand wielding a machete. More than reliable backup. More than a decades long friend who can keep up with the tequila shots. He wants to be more than all of that for you. 

He wriggles from under the grip to clutch your face with both hands. “I wanna tough it out with you.”

Your head tilts up and down in his hold. “Me too.”

You raise on tiptoes as he dips his head. Your lips meet in a gentle brush of skin. Dean’s skin tingles all over.

It’s only a peck. Dean pulls back so he can witness the bliss on your face. Eyes closed, mouth parted. You release a sigh. “Can we…” you start to ask.

“Anything,” Dean murmurs.

“Can we go to sleep? Start fresh in the morning? I missed you.”

Dean thinks his face will crack at the force of his smile. “Absolutely.”