#unless we communicated clear expectations beforehand

[kahuna-burger]

If an author describes a chair as particular style of diner stool that I am closely familiar with and it has gotten wet then wiped off before the character sits down, I may well consider the details of chair construction and implications thereof far more than the author did, and draw conclusions as if it were a real chair and not just a narrative structure that is only tacky or damp or squeaky if the author says so. My personal preference for discussing the chair in that story is to assume that it is a real chair that behaves as a chair of that style does and only look to "well, the author probably picked the look because X and in the story it wipes off fine" as a last resort. That is the most fun discourse type for me.

So it's entirely possible that we are both treating fictional characters and chairs the same, while still fundamentally disagreeing on what is the most fun or correct way to do that. But that's cool, because both ways are actually preferences, rather than fundamental truths that either of us has to yield to.

fictional character discourse would be more fun if we all internalized the fact that characters are narrative tools, not people. once we have that basic fact down, we can start talking about what story the author is trying to tell using these characters, whether they’re successful, whether the story itself is successful and by what means we are measuring success—which are all really fun and interesting things to discuss! but we simply cannot get to that point unless we first accept that fictional characters simply do not have thoughts, feelings, opinions, or any agency on their own. a fictional character has more in common with the fictional chair theyre sitting on than with a real person

[leieryx]

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[yume-x-hanabi]

Concubinage Behind the Scenes - ch.8

Another "behind the scenes" post from 2022 I forgot to cross-post from DW.

(chapter | DW post | previous posts)

This chapter marks the conclusion to the conflict arc. Despite Lin sending Arst to get healed, Arst's opinion of him doesn't improve, mainly because Lin didn't actually make it clear that was his intention when he sent him to Minah lin learn to communicate pls

That's mainly because they didn't really trust each other yet. Sure, they'd been taking tentative steps toward a potential friendship, but they were not close enough to share their feelings freely. Lin now thinks that Arst looks down on him for being weak, like everybody else (not that he's wrong in this particular moment tbh), so while he feels bad for what happened to him, he's not particularly eager to talk to him anymore. Plus, Arst's barely concealed hostility makes him hard to approach.

Arst, on the other hand, still believes the worst of Lin, and it's made worse by the fact that they had become friendlier just beforehand. He expected that his time as Lin's concubine was going to be terrible, so when the possibility that it could be better than expected presented itself, he was happy to seize the chance... only to have all his hopes dashed the next day. So he's feeling extra bitter about it. Maybe, if they hadn't eventually cleared their misunderstanding and repaired their relationship, he would have ended up snapping at some point.

Arst is a very strong fighter, but unlike Xing, who enjoys crushing those weaker than him, he loves competition, and finding worthy opponents. He loves strong people, but it's not just about physical strength or fencing skills—anyone who tries their best is worthy of respect in his eyes. In fact, he'd much rather fight a weaker opponent who gives their all than an arrogant strong one like Xing.

When he faces Lin again, Lin is determined to prove himself. He wants to show him, in his own way, that he's not a coward, that he can still fight even if he's not very good at it. Lin rejects the opening for a quick victory, he wants to make this fight worthwhile, even if Arst might end up faking a loss at the end.

And despite all his misgivings about him, the part of Arst that loves competition and challenges responds to that, and he ends up fighting seriously for a moment before he remembers the act he's supposed to put on.

That means a lot to Lin. Especially now that he knows what Arst is risking by fighting him seriously. He feels there is an opening for them there, a step toward some level of understanding.

Arst of course doesn't see it so generously, he's full of pent-up anger, and ends up going at him with full force. Lin'll definitely get a nasty bruise from that, but it's nothing a trip to Minah can't fix. In the moment he's more concerned about what's going to happen to Arst afterward, and what he can do to stop it.

Due to not being taken seriously, and his own insecurities regarding his qualifications to fulfill his role (we have to thank Lars' constant disparaging remarks and abuse for that), he rarely uses his authority. But it's not that he has none. If given the chance, he knows how to give orders and use his rank to his advantage. And he's well aware of the intricacies of court hierarchy. Even if people don't respect him, they respect his rank as the heir unless they know Lars won't back him up, hi Yan & Xing. So if he tells Li not to touch Arst, he knows he'll have no choice but to obey.

(Slight digression, but he'll start preventing Li from going after other trainees too if they fight him seriously, tho in effect it probably won't happen much, as he'll keep letting them pretend to lose for some time to lay low.)

Anyway, Arst should be glad to avoid a beating, but since he has no idea what Lin's really planning, he feels actual fear. He's not a character who gets scared easily, but he's not completely immune to fear. And Lin, right now, is an unknown entity, one who he can't read, and that worries him. He's well aware of how ruthless the ruling clan is, and the possibility of being brutally tortured is not nil. Due to their particular circumstances (especially with Lin saying he'll take care of it at home), the thought of rape crosses his mind too. In a way, not knowing what's going to happen makes it worse.

Lin, of course, had no intention on following through with that threat. He sets them up for a shogi match as a last attempt to show Arst that he's not completly useless, that there are things he's good at too (and also because he wants a bit of payback for all his losses; winning at something feels good).

Despite his earlier reserves, Arst gets into it. Especially because, like... it goes rather fast in the chapter's narration because I'm not describing the whole game move by move, but shogi matches can easily get long. Sometimes players spend several minutes thinking up their moves. So that's time for Arst to calm down and start feeling more at ease, especially when playing the game seriously requires him to put all his focus on it, so he puts his worries aside.

I love shogi (only rarely play it tho orz), and I especially love the symbolism it can bring to settings and characters like these. Wingul speaks in chess-like terms a couple of times, and Rowen mentions playing shogi with Gaius in X2, so I think there's good evidence to show this is a game he and Wingul likely played a lot together. It fits them, and it's a good way to let out their competitive nature. So, having Arst and Lin play it was a given.

And, in this instance, it's a way for Lin to open a line of communication. Arst eventually gets a clue about his true intentions, and that makes it easier for Lin to finally open up about how he's feeling, and what's been going on. And, this time, Arst believes him. You'd think he's a bit quick to trust him, after all Lin could be lying. But:

Gaius is an excellent judge of character. We see it with the Chimeriad of course (and Wingul especially), but also the party; he's good at seeing potential in people.

So, when Arst started getting an inkling that Lin was unlike his father... he was right. And though he revised that assessment after what happened with Li, finding out that Lin had nothing to do with it just confirming his first instinct. It just makes sense.

Lin's just spared him an unfair beating, and has made no move to hurt him now, so his actions seem to back his words.

Arst doesn't fully trust him yet, they don't know each other that well after all, and there is a lot of clan history that Arst can't just easily ignore, but it's a start. As much as they both hate their current circumstances, if they can get a somewhat positive relationship out of it, it'll make it more bearable.

Arst also desperately needs friends and allies. Firstly because he's a very sociable person, he's used to being surrounded by people he has a good relationship with, but also because he's alone in the vipers' nest. He won't survive long on his own. Meanwhile, Lin is more of an introvert, who usually keeps to himself and has few friends (Nils and Minah are the only ones, really, plus his mother), but a part of him is yearning for someone else to acknowledge him. And Arst is in a special position to do that. Plus, it's better when the hot guy you live with isn't looking at you like he's about to murder you ;)

[somuchyoudontknow]

Okay, here is my final part!

PART 4

Claim #7: They are in contact with sources close to Chris. That one particular blog has always claimed that they have sources in Massachusetts or Boston that are close to Chris and his circle. Now, that may be accurate, because anyone can know anyone. But they have never been clear about how these sources have been communicating with them.

First, they said it was via text (based on posts from months ago) – and when an anon asked yesterday why they couldn’t publish all the receipts since they’ve been communicating with sources for months, they say that they don’t have a paper trail, and it has been mostly phone calls.

Convenient much? Not once have they ever been able to prove anything with solid receipts, and when questioned, anons are often name-called, verbally abused and called crazy. Also, they’ve never said that they have sources inside Chris’s team, only sources close to the team. Now, you may say that this can be used to back up the fact that sometimes when things come to light, they seem to have known beforehand.

But let me also shed a little perspective here: Often, when they say something is coming, or something is about to happen, they never provide you with any context. Then, when something does happen, they say they knew all along. Again, convenient much?

At the end of the day, I think we have seen enough to safely say that Chris and Alba are in a PR arrangement. Therefore, photo dumps, fake articles and social media posts are to be expected. It's easy to post cryptic nonsense – you can always say later that your post was not connected to the PR drama, or it was because you knew all along what was coming out. Not to mention that so many in the fandom put crazy theories into their ask boxes anonymously. All these blogs have to do is fan the flames, and when something happens – as it logically would in a PR arrangement – they now can say they knew it all. See how easy it is?

Claim #8: Chris’s money and funds are all frozen by CAA I am open to being corrected by anyone with real-life legal expertise here. However, from my own knowledge and experience, putting your money and properties in a trust – where a third party is a caretaker and executor – is typically something you do when those things are going out as an inheritance for someone else. It isn’t something you do when you are still alive, unless there are dire circumstances that require it and a third party provides evidence to get the courts involved to do it. You can use Britney’s conservatorship here as an example. The reason a third party (her father) was entrusted with her funds and her assets was that she was declared mentally unable to care for herself and her money. When she proved her money was being withheld and she was being held against her will, the courts released her from it.

And if they want to claim Chris was losing his mind (like they said about Britney), they would need to submit plenty of evidence to gain control of his money – none of these has ever been brought to light, mind you. There aren’t no media articles or whispers anywhere that Chris's mental health issues are severe enough to warrant his money and property needing to be placed under third-party monitoring. What is public is only his own struggle with anxiety, which he has spoken about openly in the past. Now, let's assume Chris put his current house, and all his money now into CAA’s control through his own free will. CAA refusing to release these funds would be, in fact, illegal, and he would have legal recourse to get it back. Any lawyer worth their salt will be able to handle this. And if CAA is legally withholding his money, what legal precedent is being used to cite this case against him? The fact that they are saying Chris can’t do that smells fishy. Why can’t he do that? What evidence is there that CAA is holding his money and all his assets hostage?

Oh yes, their answer is that CAA is blackmailing him and that someone is out to ruin him at all costs. Again, what they are blackmailing him about remains unclear, but these blogs often say that “it won’t be a big deal to the general public if it’s released.” In fact, we might even applaud him for it if he came clean, but he is scared. These blog mods said their sources were close to Chris’s circle. And now they say they’ve asked Chris to ask his HW friends for forgiveness. But what is he asking for forgiveness about? And you’d think Hollywood friends would know the kind of shady business that goes on in their own industry, so again, my question is, why has everyone deserted him? Of course, these blog mods "cannot tell you." Now they are also asking you for $23,000 to pay his legal fees. And still, they cannot provide any evidence Chris is bankrupt or broke or has zero money. He has no money to spend on his own legal fees, but somehow has money to spend on renovating a random house for years, has money for private jets, and enough money to not work on so many projects in a year – he has said himself in recent interviews, cons and podcasts that he doesn't want to work on so many projects in a year. Do you guys see where I'm going with this? I liken all this nonsense to the time someone collected money from fans to put up a billboard to support Warrior Nun (remember those happy days?). It is a waste of time and money, and you should not believe it or give any money to these mods. Also, who is Chris paying with this $23,000? His lawyers? If it's going to be a messy and protracted legal affair, then $23,000 is just the start. It certainly won't cover the rest of the money needed, which will depend on how long the legal battle drags out, who wins the court case, who has to pay the other party's legal fees or whatever restitution is due to the winning party in order to get his funds.

Claim #9: Chris lied to immigration about the PR contract For this, I can only ask you to please take a breather. First of all, have you ever seen the spousal immigration interview requirements for America or any other country in the world? Have you seen how brutal American immigration is in real life? Have you seen any of the questions on those documents – or the sheer amount of paperwork – that spouses must answer and provide before even being considered for legal documents? They are highly invasive, and Alba has to do more than just answer a few questions to get legal long-term entry. Also, if he is supposedly marrying her to get her into America to do porn, then this is a fallacy as well. Porn industries don’t just thrive here in America. Europe has plenty. And if this was the case, then I’m sure there is a work visa for that. The porn industry in America is legit, and she doesn’t need a sham PR marriage to get her into the country to get any kind of work.

Now, if we say the claim above is false, then why would there be any need to force Chris to have a fake marriage?

If they wanted to put out rumours that Chris is married to Alba, all they have to do is release more news articles through reputable sources, stage a few wedding photos, pap walks and more socials, before releasing an article or announcement a year later that Chris and Alba have separated. Megan can certainly release a media plan that's good enough for this. After all, she owns Narrative PR, and her clientele consists of so many of Hollywood's best, many of whom are not CAA clients.

Why in the name of all the gods would CAA go through so much legal trouble to fake a marriage when that can be easily done with a few lies, fake social posts and media articles?

People who are doing shady things do not willingly engage with the authorities to get things done for mid-level artists. Do you all really think they will spend money on all this just to ruin Chris Evans? What secret could Chris possibly have about CAA that would’ve put him in their crosshairs? If these blogs' own words are to be believed, they’ve said that Chris doesn’t have as much clout as we think, and he doesn’t have as much pull as other Hollywood A-listers. So what is CAA’s motivation here that they want to destroy someone who only loves dogs and only has a big Marvel project on his resume?

Please, learn to question things being discussed on Tumblr. These claims float around without any question, and when confronted, these blogs cannot give you any specific answer because “it is confidential” and they cannot share.

And yet, they seem to have no issue dropping cryptic posts, hints and answers to anons when it is convenient for them. Sure. Let's go with that. Also, let’s face it. Since CAA is trying to force their way and make people believe it’s real, and if Chris and his team are allowing these kinds of information to be leaked, don’t you think CAA would’ve found the leak and plugged it by now? CAA is super shady, but in this instance, they are choosing to close an eye to one party's team to leak info to external sources, and these sources freely leak that info to other Tumblr blogs that are not linked to the situation? Come now, my lovelies! I urge you all to always question what is being put out here on Tumblr. Use logic, use your own intuition and always use Google for your research. It’s a free tool. Use it wisely.

If everything I’ve written does not give you a clue into what kind of people these blog mods are, then you must ask yourself what is blinding you from seeing their true colours. ♥️StarStruck💫

I guess part 4 is a typo :) Thanks again! Great to have you here!

[ilykirara]

Hello! So there's this line in your latest chapter, which is: "It ignited old feelings and old memories that hit him with a strong sense of nostalgia." it refers to Kuai and MC's relationship...is it meant to imply that he crushed on her when they were kids? Or am I reading it wrong?

Ty for your time!

Helloooo ( ≧∀≦)ノ This message is... Really long but I swear I answer your question at one point!!

So there's a few things that influenced the start of the latest chapter... The main one being that I pretty much botched Kuai Liang's story with reader when I used to consistently do 5k chapters (which limited my effort whoops :P). The 'Memories that...' chapter was suppose to set up the theme of Kuai Liang/reader but after rereading it, it was lowley weak HAHAHA. I still consider it to be canon, but I prefer to consider the latest chapter more canon if that makes sense. I promise this is relevant (∩ﾟ∀｀∩)

So, I didn't really want to play on the secret childhood crush when it came to the Lin Kuei because I think the three prioritise competence (which is different/subjective for each one) considering how much responsibilities they bear on a daily basis. I don't think this is a spoiler, but I'll put that in just incase (SPOILER): the three never held any romantic interest in reader before reader became a champion (END OF SPOILER)

I decided since this chapter was going to be the last chapter of the Lin Kuei Stay Arc, I would clear up the dynamic. To answer your question, Kuai Liang didn't have a classic childhood crush on reader. I played on how Kuai Liang and Bi-Han both have similar responsibilities (which was pretty much training to become one of Earthrealm's first line of defence) but have very different expectations simply because of the order of their birth. With that, I could easily implement how Kuai Liang has a more 'softer' approach to Earthrealmers because of his rank (and then we all know how Bi-Han in the story is very... Cold-handed to put it lightly). I'll expand on the actual answer after the next paragraph (〃´ω`〃)

In the story, when reader first arrived at the temple, Kuai Liang instantly beared the responsibility to look after her as a Lin Kuei because the Lin Kuei only exists to protect Earthrealm and its people. So, with an Earthrealmer infront of him, who clearly needed shelter and support, it naturally clicked to him that he needed to fulfil his duty. With that, he became one of your main support lines in your time at the Lin Kuei because the Lin Kuei is full of lethal assassins and after seeing Bi-Han, you couldn't be too sure that everyone was like Kuai Liang unless they were Kuai Liang. Kuai Liang feels compassion for Earthrealmers for being without supernatural abilities and (in my eyes) gets job satisfaction from protecting Earthrealmers so he didn't mind your presence and in fact put it upon himself to keep a tab on your wellbeing. After the whole Bi-Han thing, you became his inspiration to become stronger so he could never let something like that happen to anyone again.

The whole ignited thing was because the only times that Kuai Liang has interacted with the reader beforehand was when they first met then when she attended his father's funeral with Madam Bo (but he didn't speak to you at the funeral) so technically it's been like years since you've interacted with Kuai Liang since the last time! Unlike Tomas, Kuai Liang doesn't own a phone and isn't interested in using one so you two never had a solid line of communication and I suppose like me sometimes, he just gets swept away with his role that even though he does have the opportunities to contact you every now and then, he just... didn't. There's plenty of reasons or excuses or whatever, but yknow it just happens. The old feelings and nostalgia was him being reminded of his protective nature over you when you first arrived at the Lin Kuei.

In short of their dynamic, I imagine Kuai Liang as this very reliable pillar that you can easily return to for stability if the ground ever begins to shake if you get what I mean.

At the start of the latest chapter, Kuai Liang is developing romantic interest in reader because of her development. It's not a full-blown interest because I think Kuai Liang is the type to take it one step at a time. Truth be told, I actually tried to play on how Kuai Liang fell for Harumi Shirai (beauty, strength, and intelligence) which is why there's like a massive paragraph about how Kuai Liang takes notice of reader and then how she has strength

Just a fun little addition that strays away from the question at hand: when I was planning the plot, I had to question how Bi-Han and Kuai Liang's brothership would change because of the whole backstory. In my mind, when the event happened, Kuai Liang was upset as he should be, but then he had to think: what would be the consequences of destroying his brothership with his brother? I imagined that Bi-Han already had a history of bad temperament because of all the stress so it wasn't just an instant thing — it was like a very slow build up that Kuai Liang did notice but tried to reason with himself until he found reader battered and bruised. I don't think Kuai Liang has ever forgiven his brother for the act, but he kept the peace because he prioritised the 'bigger picture' a.k.a. the future of the Lin Kuei and Earthrealm. It just made things easier to keep the brothership (their brotherly bond is genuine though I don't think I would describe the bond as filled with hatred but moreso strained) and allowed them to both serve Earthrealm whilst keeping eachother in check since Kuai Liang is the type to speak up on things he think Bi-Han is doing wrong.

Thank you for the question! I... Really love analysing my own fanfic and I love it when people analyse my story!!! Let me know if you have any more questions and I hope you enjoyed me answering everything but your question most of the time :D

[syrips]

pasting my response from that day below

you know, it feels disrespectful and unfair to be seen as ableist for me voicing my opinion about a fictional character especially since people prompted and asked me why i dont like him. since the days beforehand people were literally bashing other fictional characters. let alone actually bashing a real *life animal* and wanting it to be killed because of its physical appearance and need for disability aid, being seen as an **ugly, useless, disgusting burden.**

but despite all that, i never dismissed his trauma. i actually did address it, and i mentioned how my dislike has nothing to do with his trauma. i mentioned my dislike for his personality, and how its a cocktail of traits that are incompatible with mine, and how its infuriating to have a different communication style as someone else. it's also strange to expect all disabled people to all fit in a box and like one another, since people are more than their disability and trauma.

but, regardless of all of that, it's a fictional character, it's not about them. my engagement and interaction with fiction has nothing to do with real life. it feels toxic to expect people to like a set of characters and dislike another set of characters, as well as have 'approvable' reasons for liking/disliking those characters. but, even if people did insert/project themselves into a character, to defend and want an explanation, it feels bizarre to be seen as 'dismissive' to gale's trauma when ive talked about myself being sexually groomed and abused, neglected and unloved, useless and a burden.

my interaction with fictional content has nothing to do with people. and, even if people did project themselves into a character they relate to, i cannot mindread, walk on eggshells, and understand them unless they give me a *clear method of communication.* the internet is a scary and wild place, especially for fandoms, and i cannot censor myself based on people's social rules of what is deemed okay or not okay to talk about. i thought it was okay to talk about gale because people *asked* me about it. *repeatedly* asking me why. and when i explained why, they kept asking more. so i responded more. taking that out of context and portraying it as 'albeism' and 'dismissive' is infurating - because i disliked a set of pixels. it's highly disrespectful to compare what i thought was a safe space to ramble about fiction, to my set of ethics and respect for living beings in real life. it's not my responsibility for how people react to fictional content. if it is too overwhelming for them, and too stressful for them, they are not ready or equipped with the tools to engage in the general public of fandoms and fictional media. they were fine with discussing it with you and other people, so it's not that they had no method of expressing their discomfort. we could easily set up a way for everyone to feel safe, but instead, im taking the blame for the neglect of rules and guidelines that were not established beforehand.

it feels unfair to be literally peer pressured and encouraged to say/do something, only for others to shift the blame on me, instead of taking accountability and responsibility for literally consenting and regretting it. if it made them uncomfortable after a literal warning and my own hesitation, why am i being blamed for their discomfort? why is it my fault for them being disturbed by their own curiosity and it backfiring? i literally did not say it until someone asked, and i still warned, and censored it, but im the one being blamed for it being inappropriate.

i dont understand how me being open with myself, by having boundaries, warnings, and limits on what i say and do, is not exemplary behavior. i dont understand how people can blame me for pressuring me to say things then coming to regret it when they realize that its too weird/inappropriate for them. i dont understand how i am 100% welcome in a space that is punishing and blaming me for unspoken social rules that im supposed to somehow know beforehand. and it feels unfair and hypocritical to punish and scapegoat me as being inappropriate, albeist, or dismissive when im not even given the chance to provide a solution for everyone, when im open to communication, when im open to criticism and open to adapt and change. it is not a welcome space for me.

my heart hurts so badly

i appreciate people being honest with me and making their social circle a more comfortable place

im willing to talk about it and discuss ways to keep it comfortable for everyone involved, but i understand

thank you for giving me an opportunity to hang out with you all. im sorry if anything i say or do makes you uncomfortable

sorry if this post doesnt make sense

[levis-little-nuggie]

hi! i just saw the post about requests and could you write some fluffy sex headcanons with the brothers? we don't really see stuff like that so i thought i'd ask

Bless you nonny for the request 💜💜 this uh, turned out a lot longer than I had anticipated, probably because I haven't written anything in a good while 😅

Asmo and Belphie will have their own posts 💜

Nsft, obviously, so everything is under the Read More. I made the reader as gender neutral and inclusive as I could. Please let me know if at any point, I was exclusive.

Fluffy Sex Headcanons of the Demon Brothers

(minus Asmo and Belphie)

Lucifer

This man will top or bottom solely dependent upon what you want. Sex with him is moreso about pleasing his partner than just getting off. His preferences are fine tuned to your desires and your body’s limits. Lucifer’s sin feeds off of the immense pride a lover feels when they know you and your body better than you do

He may act cold and aloof in public and in front of others, coming off as stoic and arrogant, but it’s a completely different story behind closed doors.

However you want him, he’ll comply. You’ve done the impossible and captured his heart.  Don’t let this old man and his brown shoes fool you, he’ll drown you in passion.

He’ll gladly play the Dom role, but he’ll also gladly be your sub as well.

If you’re into BDSM and prefer him to Dom, you can expect an intensive aftercare routine that would rival Asmo’s. It’s not that he doesn’t like hurting you or pushing you to your limits, he just wants to reward you for being so good for him and wants to remind you how much he loves you.

If you’re into BDSM and prefer to Dom yourself, go crazy! While you would be capable of marking and bruising his skin, you can’t physically hurt or break him beyond light scratches. He can break out of whatever restraints you put him, even if they are demon-grade. You would need actual spells to diminish his strength to put him on par with a lower-class demon if you wanted him to actually feel any real pain, but if it’s what you want, he’ll do it. Expect a conversation beforehand about what you want and how he can do that for you. He wants there to be clear communication so he knows how best to serve you in the moments to come.

Sure the sex is fantastic, but he’ll show you how much he loves you in the tender moments after. The afterglow is his favorite part, both of you basking in the remnants of pleasure coursing through you, the physical numbness, and the swell of feel-good chemicals swirling through your bodies. This is when he’ll hold you closest, pepper your skin with kisses unable to stop himself, he’ll play with your hair if you have it, his eyes will be bright, his smile will be unrestrained. He may even start humming a long-forgotten lullaby or your favorite song as he rests his head against your chest, hearing your heartbeat in blissful content until one of you decides it’s time to get cleaned up.

No matter how long the day has been, the amount of hours he’s put into all that damn paperwork, he’ll always make time to pamper you after sex. If you prefer to shower alone, he’ll let you go first and have the bed ready with new, clean sheets and clean towels set out for you when you’re done. Prefer to sleep with pajamas? He has a drawer dedicated to your favorite things along with some new ones he bought for you.

Mammon

Ah yes, the tsundere. The dumbass in the streets, dumbass in the sheets. The one who has more hair-brained ideas than he does fingers and toes in one week. One of the greatest banes of Lucifer’s existence.

His push and pull personality might have you questioning the validity of his feelings, but I believe that Mammon wouldn’t be partaking in fluffy sex at all unless he was absolutely smitten.

With how his brothers treat him, he’s reluctant to open his heart to you and fully accept that at some point, you won’t start insulting him either. However, equipped with the sin of greed, Mammon’s completely helpless when you compliment and reassure him. 

His standoffish attitude is a front, a feeble attempt to keep up his reputation as “The Great Mammon,” but he’s got himself wrapped around your finger before he even realizes it and that facade would melt away instantly at your smallest of smiles, a kiss on his cheek or back of his hand, a surprise compliment, anything that makes his heart skip a beat. 

Of the brothers, he has one of the weakest composers around you mainly because he’s also one of the horniest. 

Sex with Mammon can be rushed;  a quickie between classes, a broken composure that has him feeling dehydrated for you, a clash of tongues and teech and a burning desire that encompasses both of you until you find release.

However, the sweetest and fluffiest sex with Mammon would be when either of you are feeling emotionally vulnerable. 

He’ll treat you like you’re the greatest treasure to have ever existed in all three realms, with a delicacy as if you’re fragile because he knows he can be careless and reckless. He’ll be in his head a lot making sure he’s taking care of you, that you feel good, doing his damndest to keep you satisfied so there’s no room in your heart to doubt him. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep that sparkle in your eye when you look at him, to never lose you and never have to experience the day you realize his brothers have been right all along. 

And I mean he’ll do whatever and however. Any wish is his command, but you’ll have more work cut out for you if you suggest the both of you participating in a threesome or more. He wants you all to himself, it’s his greed, but it’s your reassurance and validation that will have him like putty in your hand. 

He’s more than okay with both of you falling asleep in your mess, but more often than not, he’ll wait until you’ve dozed off to clean up. In these moments, he takes the time to worship every inch of your skin, like polishing a priceless jewel. His intentions are pure, most of the time, he just likes to wait till you’re asleep so there’s no chance for you to tease him about it. It also allows his greed to soak up your peaceful expression, the way your body reaches out to him after he’s finished cleaning and comes back to curl up next to you. 

There’s a secret photo album hidden on his phone filled with pictures of the both of you like this, your lashes against your cheeks, your freckles or sun spots, any blemishes or scars that he’s covered in kisses countless of times, your hand in his and vice versa, memories of how sweet and tender your love is, filled with emotions he struggles to put into words. 

Leviathan

It all depends how you play your cards with this one. Teasing him is easy and it’ll get him all flustered, but pair that with his raging horniness and you’ll be walking a fine line between a Dom or sub Levi.

However, if it’s fluffy and sweet sex you want, treat him gently and he’ll return the favor. It’ll take a bit of time and effort to get here, on both your parts, but if you’re willing to put in the work, he’ll make it worth it. Like Mammon, this means sex will be its fluffiest when either both of you or one of you is emotionally vulnerable.

We’ve recently been blessed by the devs on a cannon description of his tail, confirming that it is snake-like with scales. This also means, however, that his tail is sensitive to touch and he has full control of its movements. During a more sweet intimacy, he likes to wrap his tail around a limb, your arm or your leg. It’s only when he’s in Dom or sub mode that he likes to use his tail in a more active manner.

It’s important for him, whether he realizes it or not, that during these moments, that he’s the one touching you, not his tail. If you ask him to use his tail too much during sex, he’ll start to think that you’re only with him because of his tail.

He’ll want to see you even though his room is dimly lit. He also knows his tub bed might not be the most comfortable so he’ll invest in a mattress to put on the floor by the tank, and a few fluffy blankets, from the Ruri-chan line of course, to keep you warm and comfortable so you’ll never want to leave his room, just like him.

He prefers any position that has the two of you lying together, with your face in clear view because he can’t get enough of the faces you make because of the pleasure he’s responsible for making you feel. He’ll be more focused on your voice, your body language, your reactions to reassure him he’s doing something right.

To see your naked skin kissed with the reflection of the water from the tank is his favorite part. He actually got a nosebleed the first time he saw you like that. 

Sex with the otaku is a learning experience that requires patience and repetitive reassurance. He’s certain that no one could ever love him, and it’s going to cost a lot of mental energy, and it can be disheartening at times where it seems he’s not made any progress in loving himself at all, but you’ll both also have an opportunity to create something truly beautiful between the two of you. Falling in love with your best friend, and having your feelings returned with all their heart is one of the most beautiful things to ever experience.

Satan

I like to imagine that Satan is akin to that tiger DILF in Zootopia looking at his tablet while on the train, you know, the one who looks like he’ll take good care of you? Listen, during one of his Devilgram stories, the man pitches a tent (like an actual tent, not a boner you guys) and makes both of you cups of hot chocolate. You can pry this hc out of my cold, dead hands.

Sex with Satan is actually more often fluffy and sweet than anyone would assume because he’s the Avatar of Wrath. Just like all the other brothers, Satan is more than his sin. That being said, Satan is still CEO of Angry Sex™ but he’s also more intune to his own feelings than the rest of his brothers. 

It’s after his more violent fits of rage that he’s seeking your comfort. It’s difficult for him to come down from his wrath; the worse the fit is, the more broken and twisted he feels. He didn’t like coming to you at first because he knows how mentally draining it can be for a human to deal with someone like that, but you’ve insisted in your endearing and stubborn way that he can and needs to rely on you more. You threatened to find all the sources proving your point for the success of any relationship and he eventually gave in, accepting your kindness and your love.

In turn, he provides you with an arsenal of reading material and spells you can arm yourself with for a plethora of reasons; mainly self-defense against demons, a history of successful and failed attempts to prank Lucifer, as well as guides for subjects in class to help you study.

Unlike his previous brothers, sex with Satan is more about the pleasure you both feel. Of course he’ll still be mindful of your pleasure, but he can also get lost in his own desire. No matter how far gone he is, you know that the moment you utter the safeword, he’ll stop immediately and assess the situation. The safeword is actually a simple spell that he’d found when you two started getting more intimate.

On days he’s feeling extra playful, he’ll dress up for you; a collar with a bell, cat ears, a butt plug with a tail attached. He loves to be your little kitty cat, and will practically foam at the mouth if you ever dressed up like a slutty cat for him, but this doesn’t lead to fluffy smut times.

While he has no issues with PDA, Satan reserves his more soft and fluffy side for when you two are totally alone. He’s proactive in looking up cute date ideas and is the type to go all out turning his bed or his floor into a nest of pillows and blankets, cups of tea, hot chocolate, coffee, whatever you prefer, a variety of little snacks, and turn his wall into a projection screen to watch old-fashioned black and white romance movies. 

For Satan, it’s the moments leading up to the sweet intimacy filled with love and adoration that are his favorites. Being the reason your face brightens, tears of happiness well in the corner of your eyes, the way your smile makes his heart stutters, Satan loves showing you how much you mean to him mainly because he knows he’s not the best with words. He could recite any poem of strings of song lyrics, but he believes actions speak louder than words.

He actually prefers for you to have control in these moments; there’s less of a chance he could hurt you and it’s another way to prove his love. He’ll only ever bottom for you. He was reluctant at first, but it’s like you opened his eyes to a whole new world he didn’t know about. He still likes to act like he's a cat and you're his mouse, but he also likes it when you take over and make him bow to your whim. You've gained his trust as well as his heart and he believes that the power dynamic in a relationship should be balanced.

During the most intimate moments, either right after sex or waking up together in the morning after sleeping in, you'll both enter this Cat Speak mode. One of you will start, just a cute little "mrow?" and you'll go back and forth entertaining a semblance of a conversation but without saying anything. There's no actual conversation happening, it's just the two of you making cat noises at each other, giggling and riding the high of this special intimacy specially reserved for these moments of bliss.

Beel

Let’s be honest, 9 times out of 10 your sex with the sixth-born will be fluffy and sweet. He’s like the personified version of a golden retriever. He loves you and has the instinct to want to take care of you. You’re such a small, delicate human, and his brothers love you too so when you’re in Beel’s care, he makes sure you’re satisfied more than just sexually. 

Anything you’re willing to give him, he’ll accept wholeheartedly expressing his love and gratitude in the form of huge grins, hugs, a hearty chuckle, and peppering kisses across your face. 

Even though he’s not as sexually active as some of his brothers, once you get this big guy started, be prepared to cancel any plans you have for the rest of the day… and also the day after just to be safe. He has the most energy and will keep going until he’s had you against every solid surface in his room, minus Belphie’s furniture of course. Regardless of your size or how you look, he’ll make you feel weightless as he carries you around the room effortlessly

He loves the way you taste, gliding his tongue over your skin like you’re an ice-cream cone that never melts, he’s actually growled a number of times when you tried pulling yourself away from him. His eyes had turned shades darker than normal before you snapped him out of it. He would apologize profusely and kill the mood so as to make sure he’s in the right headspace and you’re okay. 

This has only happened a few times, but he still loves to taste every inch of you whenever he has you all to himself. He leaves you covered in hickeys and love bites and even though he’ll apologize, you know he feels absolutely no shame in his brother’s reactions to seeing you covered the next day. 

His favorite part is helping you ride out your orgasm with his mouth. He knows he’s more skilled with his mouth anyway and just, the man cannot get enough of you or your taste. Depending on where he’s at when you orgasm, if he’s close, he’ll paint your skin in his release, and then clean up the mess and drag you in for snuggles. If he’s not quite there yet, he’ll assess your energy levels and wait until you’re ready to go again or keep going, depending on who topped or bottomed. He’s all about consent and wants to join you when you’re fully blissed out regardless if he’s finished or not (meaning he’ll deny his own release in order to lie with you).

Aftercare comes almost second nature to him. He’s already carrying you to the bathroom and soaking you off in the shower before you realize it. The warm water and his large hands invade your senses and he urges you to let go, to let him take care of you and it’s like a dream. His calloused hands offer a sort of comforting roughness that keeps you grounded. If you want shower sex, you’ll have to initiate it.

Actually, that’s pretty accurate for Beel. You want sex? You’re either going to have to initiate it or tell him straight out. Poor guy does not take hints well as he is very oblivious.

[samwisethewitch]

Working with Spirits

In my last post, I talked about different types of spirits that witches may work with. Today, we’re going to discuss how to approach spirits and establish a working relationship.

Keep in mind that these are general guidelines, and every spirit is different. I encourage you to do your own research beyond this post, especially if you plan to work with powerful entities like deities, angels, or fairies.

Remember the Four R’s

It’s important to keep these things in mind when working with spirits:

Respect. The spirits are powerful, and you need to have a healthy respect for that power when working with them. It’s also important to respect them as individual, autonomous beings.

I’m not saying that every interaction you have with the spirits needs to be a full blown ritual with incense and chanting. (In fact, some spirits don’t care for those types of rituals.) But every interaction you have with them should be conducted with an air of respect and reverence.

What this mostly boils down to is good manners. Being polite will get you better results — and it will also keep you from being on the receiving end of spirit mischief. Proper etiquette depends on the type of spirit you’re working with, which is one reason it’s important to do your research. In general, it’s polite to make an offering, use respectful language, and thank the spirits before you leave (unless you’re dealing with fairies — some traditions say you should never thank the fae).

Respecting spirits also means respecting their desires — even if that means respecting their wish not to work with you. Not every spirit you reach out to will want to form a relationship with you, just like not every person you meet in your life will want to be your friend. When a spirit turns you down, respect their decision, politely bid them farewell, and move on.

Reciprocity. The goal of spirit work is to establish a mutually-beneficial partnership — not for one partner to serve the other. On one hand, this means that you can’t just command spirits to do your bidding without giving anything in return. On the other hand, it also means that you won’t be worshiping/honoring them without receiving some kind of boon.

This is why it’s important to make offerings to the spirits you work with. These offerings “feed” the spirits by giving them power, and a good offering will likely make a spirit more willing to work with you. Offerings are not payment for favors from spirits (it’s not quite that simple), but they are a sign that you intent to practice reciprocity in your relationship.

In general, it’s important to make an offering when you first introduce yourself to a spirit and again before you ask them for anything. But you shouldn’t only make offerings when you’re about to ask for something! How would you feel if you had a friend who only did nice things for you when they were about to ask for a favor? You’d probably start avoiding them, right? You might even get angry. To avoid this kind of dynamic in your spirit work, make regular offerings to the spirits you work with. If you’re especially close with a spirit, you may want to offer to them every day.

Relationship. The spirits are not vending machines where you put offerings in and blessings fall out. They are living, sentient beings with feelings, and deserve to be treated as such. Your relationship with the spirits you choose to work with is just that: a relationship. And like any relationship, it requires time, energy, and emotional labor.

If that sounds like more effort than you want to make, there are plenty of ways to do magic without ever working with spirits. You don’t need to do spirit work to be a witch. It may not be your thing, and that’s okay!

But if you choose to work with spirits, it’s important to remember that you are working with them as an equal partner — you’re not their boss, and they are not obligated to like you, help you, or even tolerate you. Relationships with spirits are built over time, through mutual respect and trust.

You wouldn’t drive up to your friend’s house, throw a fast-food burger at them, and then demand a special favor. Likewise, you shouldn’t just dump an offering on your altar and demand something of the spirits. Take the time to sit down with them. Talk to them. Get to know them. Put some thought into your offerings, instead of just offering the same thing every time. Spirit work is, at its core, about building an authentic relationship with the spirits we choose to include in our practice. Enjoy it.

Research. When it comes to spirits, it’s important to know exactly who (and what) you’re dealing with. As previously mentioned, the etiquette for dealing with fairies is very different from other land spirits. Different deities have different standards for their worshipers, which vary from one pantheon to the next. The way you interact with your ancestors will probably be shaped by their personalities, cultures, and values. All this is to say it’s important to know who you’re reaching out to, preferably before you reach out to them.

With deities, this is easy. Most witches who choose to work with deities will feel drawn to a certain pantheon, or even a specific god or goddess. There’s a lot of information out there about most historical pantheons, so researching them is easy. The same goes for angels, saints, demons, and even fairies.

It can be a little more difficult to do your research when you’re dealing with land spirits, spirits of place, or other less well-known figures. In these cases, it’s best to take three steps: 1.) figure out what type of spirit you’re dealing with (land spirit, animal spirit, ancestor, etc.), 2.) find out what this type of spirit is like generally, and 3.) find out how that applies to your specific spirit.

For example: you want to connect with your local land spirits. You do some research to find out how land spirits have been treated in various cultures — you find out that they’re typically benevolent, are closely tied to the natural landscape, and were often given food offerings. Then, you do some research into your local plants and animals — what form might a nature spirit take in your local environment? Would it be a huge moose with snow-covered antlers, or a magnolia tree in full bloom? Is there any local folklore in your area that could be describing a land spirit? Once you have answers to these questions, you’ll have a much better idea of how to approach the spirits and start up a relationship.

Initiating a Relationship with a Spirit

Begin by identifying who this spirit is. For example, let’s say you choose to reach out to a specific ancestor spirit — maybe a deceased grandparent. Make sure you’re familiar with the etiquette for interacting with this type of spirit so you don’t accidentally do something disrespectful. (If your Grandma hated cussing, try not to drop any f-bombs while communing with her.)

Create a special space to communicate with the spirit. This can be as simple as lighting a candle or as elaborate as setting up a special altar. If you’re reaching out to a grandparent, you might set up a small ritual space with a photo of them, any of their belongings that you have access to, and some things that they enjoyed while they were alive. These items may make the connection easier, but you don’t need them to communicate. What matters is that you’ve taken the time to create a special space for this moment. (Like all ritual spaces, it should be clean and tidy, and it’s a good idea to do an energetic cleanse beforehand.)

Make an offering. Make sure your offering is appropriate for the spirit you’re connecting to. Offerings should be made with an air of reverence — don’t just toss a bag of Doritos on your altar and expect it to be well-received.

Introduce yourself. Speak out loud. State your intention and who you are hoping to connect with.

Wait and listen. You may feel a presence or receive some kind of sign — or you may not. Just because you didn’t get a sign doesn’t mean that your offering wasn’t noticed or that you’re being ignored. You may also receive a sign several hours, days, or weeks after you first reach out. Be patient.

Say your farewells. Express your gratitude for the spirit’s presence, and let them know that you are ending your little ritual. It’s up to you whether to invite them to stick around or politely tell them to leave, but if you’re going to give a spirit permission to linger in your home you better be 1000% sure you know who they are and what their intentions with you are.

Moving Forward

As you work with this spirit, it is important to establish clear boundaries for the relationship. Be clear about what you want to accomplish by working with them, and make sure you understand what they expect from you in return.

You might want to establish a time limit: for example, maybe you’re choosing to work closely with the goddess Brigid from Imbolc to Samhain, at which point you can choose to continue the relationship or to take a step back. Or, you may choose to work with a spirit on a specific task — for example, working with the goddess Aphrodite to get back on your feet and rebuild your self esteem after a breakup. Once this task is accomplished, you may choose to form a more long-term relationship or to take a step back.

Forming a permanent or long-term working relationship with a spirit is a very big, very serious commitment, and should not be taken lightly. This goes double for anything involving a ritual commitment, such as dedication to a deity. When you make these commitments, you are choosing to make a spirit and their energy a permanent part of your life. This decision requires some very serious introspection and consideration, and should not be made impulsively.

Resources:

Southern Cunning: Folkloric Witchcraft in the American South by Aaron Oberon

A Practical Heathen’s Guide to Asatru by Patricia M. Lafayllve

Where the Hawthorn Grows and The Morrigan: Meeting the Great Queens by Morgan Daimler

Wicca for Beginners by Thea Sabin

Azrael Loves Chocolate, Michael’s A Jock: An Insider’s Guide to What Your Angels Are Really Like and The Angel Code by Chantel Lysette

New World Witchery podcast (several episodes, including “Episode 164 — Irish Folklore and Magic,” “Episode 161 — Practicing Safe Hex,” and “Episode 152 — Honoring Ancestors”)

[blarfkey]

Tips on Beta-ing Fic in Fandom

Hello! So I’ve noticed from some of my experiences and the experiences of others that not everyone fully understands how to beta a fic or how to ask for a beta reader.

And I get it. Editing is a delicate process, it's terrifying to ask someone to look at your work, and it's equally terrifying to feel responsible for the quality of someone else’s writing. 

So I decided to write up a little guide. I enjoy being a beta reader and learned how to while I got my minor in creative writing and through participation in many writer workshops but being a good beta doesn’t require an education like that.  A lot of bad experiences I’ve seen or heard about could be avoided with communication and basic courtesy.

More under the cut:

First of all, there are different levels of editing that require different levels of depth and commitment. A lot of issues crop up when two people have a different idea of what’s expected. So here is a way of looking at the different levels.

1. SPAG (SPelling And Grammar): This is the most basic level and has the least amount of time commitment. The beta looks for issues in grammar and spelling such as: comma rules, homophones, run on sentences, anything that obscures meaning, ect. This is the easiest level to ask for since it requires a basic read through and no knowledge of canon or characters or the fandom at all. If you are with a new beta whom you don’t know well, I would start with just this level. 

2. Flow and Efficiency: this gets a little deeper into SPAG. A beta on this level would flag passages that slow down the pace of the story, words that are repeated too often, dialogue that doesn’t make sense or sounds awkward, pronoun confusion, sentence/paragraph order, ect. This requires more time and re-reading the fic more than once to do a thorough job. 

3. Characterization: This deals with how in character your dialogue and actions feel in your story. If you’re writing a character for the first time or you don’t have a full understanding of them in canon, it can be helpful to ask a writer well versed in writing that character to take a look at your characterization. This does require more of a commitment than the others and you need to communicate with each other to discuss what seemed out of character and why and what alternatives could be taken instead.

4. Plot and Story: This is the  biggest commitment for a beta and not something you ask a person to do real quick or even ask a person to do if you don’t know them very well. This type of editing asks someone to look at the story overall and see what is working and what is not working as far as plot goes.

Did the writer develop the story in a way that makes sense, did they lay down the seeds of the development throughout the fic, are they sticking to a theme, are they contradicting themselves throughout the fic, did they repeat a scene, ect? For multi-chapter fics, this requires a long term beta/writer relationship over the course of each chapter update.

You should not ask someone brand new to beta at this level for an update chapter, especially if they haven’t read your other chapters first or aren’t familiar with your writing. This level requires an immense amount of trust between beta and author and a huge time commitment for a beta.

~~~

Now that we understand the different levels of editing, here are some common courtesy guidelines for both authors and betas:

Author:

1. Decide beforehand what level you want your fic to be beta’d for. Communicate clearly exactly what you want your beta to look for and at what level you would like them to edit. You don’t have to use my guideline above exactly, but be clear if you want deeper edits than SPAG, for example. And understand that deeper edits, such as on structure and plot and characterization, require a lot of commitment on behalf of the beta reader. It’s understandable if they do not or are unable to give you that level of commitment so be clear about it upfront. 

2. Be clear on your deadline of when you want this done.

3. Be clear on the length, pairing/characters involved, rating, and major content warnings when asking for a beta. 

4. If you share a google doc, do not let any beta have full editing privileges. Even if you trust them, you won’t be able to see all the changes they make so you can learn from your mistakes. Keep the restrictions to commenter only. 

5. Be upfront and honest about  how sensitive you are to different kinds of feedback. Especially if you’ve been hurt in the past, be honest about what feedback you do not want.

6. Remember, you do not have to change everything a beta suggests. This is your story and even though they’ve done you a favor, it's ultimately your decision and judgement on your own fic.

That being said, you don’t need to argue with a beta about their suggestions. If you don’t agree with most or all of their ideas, they are not the beta for you. Thank them for their time and then follow through with your own suggestions or find a different beta.

Beta/Editor: Here are some basic courtesy rules you should follow when you are beta-ing.

1. Do not engage with fic that makes you uncomfortable, even if you want to be kind to a friend. Your reluctance shines through in your efforts and it does not end well for anyone. If you start a fic and then find you are uncomfortable with it, politely tell your author that you cannot continue. Do not do so in a way that shames their fic. You do not have to go into personal reasons why you cannot finish the fic, just tell them you are unable to do so. 

2. Stick to the deadline you agreed to. If something comes up, let the author know as soon as possible so they can find someone else, especially if they are on a publishing schedule or have an exchange deadline. 

3. Word all your non-spelling edits as suggestions, not commands. Ultimately any changes are the author’s decision and up to their discretion so it comes off as very rude and controlling when you use commands, as if you naturally know better than the author does at telling their own story. This also means that you should not change anything in the document without telling the author if they have given you full edit access on a google doc or word doc, ect. 

Some ways of phrasing you can use to make suggestions:

     A. “Could” and “can” instead of “should” and “need”.

For example:  For example, Maybe you could move this paragraph to the beginning because of ____ reason instead of You need to move this paragraph to the beginning. 

     B. “I think” at the beginning of a suggestion, so it's clear it's your opinion and nothing else.

I think this paragraph works better at the front of the chapter rather than the end.

     C. “Maybe” with a question mark.

This is one of my favorites. Think of it like brainstorming with someone. Maybe you could move this paragraph to the front of the chapter? Maybe X Character could do Y instead?

4. Always explain why you would make a change to story, flow, or characterization so the author understands your intent and reasoning.  

5. Do not judge someone’s writing. This is their story and their ideas. Do not try to steer the plot in the direction you would want to take it, do not kinkshame any of their smut, do not criticize their story/pairing choices because they aren’t to your tastes. The goal is to improve what they already have, not change it to match what you personally like. 

6. Do not offer only critical feedback without something positive. This is very important. Even if you are just at level one SPAG, leave a comment or highlight a passage, turn of phrase, line of dialogue that you enjoyed or leave a note at the bottom of something you think they did well. 

Asking for critical feedback is terrifying, and if there is not a balance of positive and constructive feedback, authors can be discouraged from writing further if they think all they write is bad or needs work. 

The way I did it in writing workshops is that I put every negative comment in between two positive comments. This might be unrealistic for beta, but you cannot beta a fic without leaving any positive feedback at all. 

~~~

Communication and clear expectations go a long way in a good author/beta relationship. It helps to find someone whose fic they have written or bookmarked align with your own tastes if you want deeper edits. Make sure you have similar ideas on characterization, head-canons, interpretations of canon lore.

At the end of the day, however, it’s fanfiction. It is written for free and for fun. Little things that would not cut it in professional publication can slide in an fanfic and there should not be pressure to make a fic as perfect as a professional, published piece unless the author gives you that explicit expectation.

Please comment or send an ask/message if you have any questions about beta-ing!

[popurikat]

Newtmas essay when?

Finally getting to this, thanks for waiting, I needed to go over a few bookmarks. (Warning, this post contains spoilers from the MAZE RUNNER book and FEVER CODE book, so if you haven’t read either or yet and want the jist of my analysis; just know that in general the fandom interpreting Newt as gay before it was revealed on a twitter post was not just a random headcanon and that Thomas in general is portrayed to have very strong unconditional love for Newt throughout the series; and it shows. To the point that even the director for the movie has stated that Newt and Thomas have a strong bond and portrays that in the movies. I will also preface that I am NOT adding personal opinion anywhere here, these are just backings from quotes and how they are thus meant to be taken/read as. My words are taken as a reader who is currently reading Scorch Trials has yet to fully read Death Cure or Crank Palace.) Anways, without further ado at 3AM today, I’ll try my best to explain how even though Dashner tries his best to make Thomas have other, female love interests; he creates a not so subtle gay subtext for Tommy boy here when in the context of interacting with Newt throughout the lore. Apologies beforehand for any grammar mistakes along the way.

To commence, I am going to start with FEVER CODE, as its supposed to act as the story’s preface to the actual events that play out later. Newt and Thomas upon meeting each other describe their presence as “familiar” and or as a “long lost friend” and they genuinely hit it off from the start to the point that Newt is okay with having Thomas see him cry over the fact that he and his sister are separated since he is doomed to be WCKD’s control analysis as he’s the only one lacking immunity from the flare itself. Once Newt is done being emotionally vulnerable we get our first instance of his personal nickname for Thomas: “That’s the way things are Tommy,’ he said his voice not quite steady. ‘The world outside’s gone to hell. Why should we expect any different here? [...] He said it as if they’d been friends for years” (ch. 14).   An interesting note here is that Thomas doesn’t bother to correct him or stifle the moment by feeling that all this information was too much, he genuinely wanted to hear Newt out and is fine with seeing this side of him; if not slightly taken aback by how natural it is that they can converse about such aspects of their lives. In fact, Newt makes such an impact on Thomas that Thomas ends up that same night dreaming of him: “Throughout his shortened night, he dreamed of Newt and Sonya. Of Newt and Lizzy“(Ch. 14). The thing with Thomas though is that the idea of comfort and connection is very foreign to him as he’s been basically isolated all his life with only the adults like Ava to talk to and the one exception being Teresa as his only kid companion. So Thomas didn’t even think he could make others like him for being himself unless they were vital to the overall production of WCKD. Seeing this portion right before the end of chapter 14: “Alby, Minho, Newt, Teresa. Thomas had friends.” shows that Thomas really had to deep dive to see how he deals with personal connections and why he was excited about the notion of friendship. He could’ve been happy with just Teresa, but only fully cemented her bond to him as “friend” when his circle grew and these kids he got to hang with taught him he can be himself, a concept he didn’t realize was possible when all his life was dictated on what he was supposed to learn or do. It becomes especially clear just how controlled his life is with the aspect of sentiment when later on Teresa’s mental communication evokes physcial pain and fear in Thomas. I’ll get back to that later as its more of a small tid bit of Thomas’ view on his forced love interest, Teresa. And yes, I say forced because multiple sentences with Thomas have him even wish he could cease all communication with her. Moving on, let’s talk about mimicking for a second. As humans, we mimic as a behavioral response to become closer to the person we care about. It’s the reason why yawning or laughter is contagious and or why we copy the posture of the person we converse with face to face. Thomas is seen to do this the most with Newt’s quirks. I’ll give the example in chapter 15: “Newt has been promising them that he was saving something special, and he did that annoying zipped-lipped sign every time [...] the little light in his eyes showed he enjoyed every second of their torture” versus Thomas: “Thomas did Newt’s zipped-lipped gesture, and that got him a sharp poke in the ribs”. So, we know enough that Thomas��� mannerisms are developing as a sign that he wants to be closer to Newt and to continue this sense of playfulness they both enjoy from the other. This is the start of their budding bond and a clear indication that they hold each other at greater fondness than the rest through this unconscious copying. Through this copying, they also pick up on emotional cues the other lets up on. Newt is especially good at noticing small things like when Thomas is anxious or overthinking: “He was just shocked that with all their exploring, the others hadn’t already discovered it on their own. And there were supposed to be TWO mazes. How had Newt and his friends not stumbled upon either one of them? ‘Tommy?’ Thomas realized Newt was staring straight at him, eyebrows raised. ‘Sorry,’ he said embarrassed, ‘wandered off for a second there what did you say?’ Newt shook his head in admonishment. ‘Try to keep up, Tommy Are you ready to see the grat outdoors?” (ch. 15). Also in chapter 23: “Tommy?’ It was Newt, breaking him out of his thoughts. ‘I can see your wheels spinnin’ up there.’ He tapped the side of his head”. This furthers Newts perceptiveness on his friend and Thomas’ ability to pick out when he is being looked after. And they bounce off each other really well in that aspect. To the point that Newt can crack a joke he knows will land right on Thomas’ sense of humor: “Newt waggled his fingers in front of Thomas’ face [...] A laugh exploded out of Thomas’ mouth that sent a spray everywhere. ‘Sorry’ he said, wiping his lips on his sleeve” (ch.15). It’s enjoyable to know that at least at a surface level, they have fun together and can cheer the other up if needed or know when to ground the other to reality. It is also through these instances that as a reader I pick up that Thomas’ nervous ticks perhaps allude to an anxiety disorder he has; of which Newt is aware of and never puts Thomas down on for exhibiting. He in fact understands it and deals with it accordingly as he himself has a similar circumstance. SO, what does all this paying attention lead to? Thomas’ devotion to protect Newt. Yeah, thats right I said devotion. Thomas’ actions are influenced by his developed instinct to protect Newt at all costs. Here is the biggest example that comes to mind: “What in the world happened to Newt? -- Less then two hours later, Thomas had spliced together a series of camera clips [...] Thomas turned off the feed. He couldn’t take it anymore...Newt, Newt, Newt, Thomas thought, feeling as if the very air around him were turning black.”(ch.52). Essentially, Thomas seeing Newt plummet to his near death by falling from the maze wall as a result of Newt’s ongoing depressive state, this is the moment that makes Thomas realize WICKD isn’t as good as they seem and that he is going into the maze to save Newt. Its admirable how much self sacrifice Thomas does for someone he cares so much about, to the point that their name is like a mantra. Thats a sensible area of passion and fighting spirit for someone who is “just a friend”.    Oh and, the feeling of fondness is mutual mind you if I haven’t been clear. After experiencing the horrors of cranks for the first time, realizing Newt was not immune, and watching Newt until they entered the pits it has been months since they last interacted; this is their first reunion: “What’s up Tommy?’ Newt exclaimed, his face filled with genuine happiness at the pleasant surprise that’s been sprung on him. Thomas couldn’t remember exactly how long it’d been since he’d seen Newt. ‘You look bloody fantastic for three in the morning” (ch. 23). I need to preface this that Newt DOES NOT mean that sarcastically and that out of all the people in the room (Minho, Chuck and Teresa are there in this scene), Thomas only reacts this way specifically toward seeing Newt is okay and back.   The characters are also not afraid of being physically close. “Well, look who the bloody copper dragged in,’ Newt said, pulling Thomas into a big hug” (ch.31), “They shook hands, and then the two of them set off...” (ch. 31), and my favorite: “Thomas jumped at the sound, then stumbled. Newt tripped over him, and then they were both laughing, legs and arms tangled in a pile on the ground”(ch.32). I don’t think this far in the novel, Thomas has been AS (emphasis on as) comfortable with touch  with anyone else other than Newt. And thats a big step forward on the aspect of trust in a relationship, being able to be comfortable with the presence of another person enough to be as intimate with them as shown here.  And all this, is just fever code itself. Mind you this is not the MEAT of the novels as it came out later. But even without it, lets look at Thomas in Maze now, I’ll try to keep this segment a lot more brief. Here’s Thomas looking respectively at boys his age: “A tall kid with blond hair and a square jaw...a thick, heavy muscled Asian kid folded his arms as he studied Thomas, his tight shirtsleeves rolled up to show off his biceps [...] Newt was taller than Alby too, but looked to be a year or so younger, His hair was blond and cut long, cascading over his T-shirt. Veins stuck out of his muscled arms”(ch. 2). Thomas’ initial reaction to being surrounded by boys is to deeply analyze their rugged good looks and heavily emphasize their best physical traits. When reading this the first time, my mind immediately thought this boy at the very least is supposed to be portrayed as bi, especially when later down the line Teresa gets a similar descriptor: “...despite her paleness, she was really pretty...silky hair, flawless skin, perfect lips, long legs.” So right off the bat, we know that be it boy or girl, Thomas emphasizes how attractive someone looks in his eyes when he truly does have a sense of attraction to them. Case closed. Within the same chapter we get Thomas also immediately clinging onto Newt for a sense of grounding, it is now ingrained in him at this point that the boy is his lifeline, a person to rely on. “Thomas looked over at Newt, hoping for help.” And help he does, Newt in this chapter helps ease his worries, explain a general idea of what the glade is and even pats him on the shoulder a bit to ease tension. And Thomas doesn’t bat an eye in the same way he’s weary of literally everyone else. In fact, he’s eager to stay put with him as shown with; “If Newt went up there, then I wanna talk to him.” And if none of that seals the deal, we got early bird Newt being so touch starved he flattens himself next to Thomas to wake him up at the crack of Dawn in chapter 6: “Someone shook Thomas awake. His eyes snapped open to see a too-close face staring down at him, everything around them still shadowed by the darkness of early morning...’Shh, Greenie. Don’t wanna be waking up Chuckie, now, do we?’ It was Newt --the guy who seemed second in command; the air reeked of his morning breath. Though Thomas was surprised, any alarm melted away immediately”. This whole scene follows firstly by Thomas once again impressed by how strong Newt is and then Newt giving him a rundown of what everyone else was too afraid to show Thomas, the grievers. And you know, this scene could’ve ended well and everything as totally platonic, but then we have “Newt turned to look at him dead in the eye. The first traces of dawn had crept up on them, and Thomas could see EVERY DETAIL OF NEWT’S FACE, HIS SKIN TIGHT, HIS BROW CREASED.” Now, look me in the eye and tell me there is a hetero explanation on looking at your best bro like they are the sun reincarnated themselves. But let’s not hog all the homosexual undertones with Thomas here. Wanna know what Newt’s initial reaction to having a girl in the glade was? “It’s a girl,’ he said [...] Newt shushed them again. ‘That’s not bloody half of it,’ he said, then pointed down into the box. ‘I think she’s dead” (ch.8). It’s actually a stark contrast to the other gladers eagerly wanting to know her age, how pretty she looked, and calling dibs to date her; Newt isn’t interested in any of that, he’s more perplexed on her status and not even bothering to remark on her looks, he was the only one not to and even remarks a few other instances that girls are more Thomas’ domain. For instance, he makes a joke in fever code when Thomas remarks that the girls in the institution were going to tackle him down, Newt proceeds to point out sarcastically something along the lines of “wait, isn’t that YOUR dream though?” So Newt is pretty out spoken of his disinterest in girls, and his full admiration and attention on Thomas. Oh, and yes, Newt immediately switches over to “Tommy” the moment Thomas mentions he hates being called greenie, and once again it just becomes a thing between only the two of them. Newt is also the one to be straight forward about the whole Runners business. He warns Thomas about the dangers and doesn’t necessarily turn him down on his desire to be one, he in fact encouraged him to just wait until the right moment. “No one said you couldn’t, but give it a rest for now”(ch. 15). So once again, Newt is the voice of confidence and reason for Thomas to prosper. In turn, this time around Thomas is the one to catch when something is bothering Newt. For instance, “Newt chewed his fingernails, something he hadn’t seen the older boy do before...he was genuinely concerned -- Newt was one of the few people in the Glade he actually liked ”(ch.16). Interesting how we went from fever code “friend” to “like”. And also, when Newt explains his concern about the runners not coming back yet, Thomas pieces together how scared Newt is of the Maze without being told and goes to stand next to him as a physical presence to ground Newt as they wait near the entrance. In fact, this piece is trivial to understand why Thomas does what he does next. When everyone else had given up on the Runners still outside with 2 minutes left til closing, and Newt was escorted away from the entrance, Thomas waited. And when Thomas saw them, he yells to Newt, realizes he’s too far to do anything, and makes a decision himself. He KNEW how much Newt cared about his fellow Gladers, they were like family or “kin” as its said in the book, so what does he do? “Don’t do it Tommy! Don’t you bloody do it!’ ... Thomas knew he had no choice. He moved. Forward. He squeezed past the connecting rods at the last second and stepped into the maze”(ch.16). Yes, Thomas does this because of his empathy for the Gladers, but the chain reaction of Newt’s concern is what sets his decision in stone. And yet again, Thomas enters the maze for Newt.  And that’s pretty much the constant for the rest of Maze Runner the book, Newt just sticking up for Thomas and Thomas in turn just being happy that: “He was at least relieved that Newt was there” (ch.17). And thats basically their entire dynamic. Newt just going: “If you really did help design the maze Tommy, it’s not your fault. You‘re a kid -- you can’t help what they forced you to do” to ease the survivor’s trauma Thomas has, as well as saying “I actually believe you. You just don’t have an ounce of lying in those eyes of yours. And I can’t bloody believe I’m about to say this...but I’m going back in there to convince those shanks we should go through the griever hole, just like you said”(ch.51); and I think thats the most romantic thing to hear from him. Just right out being all for supporting Thomas no matter what happens as long as he stays alive and continues to fight, he doesn’t care about what happened before. And Thomas eats that up because it fuels him even more to seek out a means to escape for the people (Newt) that deserve a life outside of running from monsters forever. So essentially, I’ll state again, it’s always been Newt the catalyst for Thomas to run head first into the Maze and seek freedom. And with all this I can clear that these two are shown to if not be romantically involved, at least have unconditional love for the other that transcends the author’s original intention.  And with that in mind, here’s the thing with Teresa as a love interest. I can list here quotes of every time she mind speaks to Thomas and how that affects him, but then this would be too long. And this is a newtmas post gosh darn it. Teresa is gleeful to humiliate, control, hurt, and force Thomas to believe they’re in love. In multiple instances we get her barging into his mind unwarranted making him understand that she has full access to his inner most thoughts. Theres nothing romantic about that, and I think its why Thomas ends up being so perceptive to the smallest of gestures that allow him to think on his own and feel like his own person. Something I’ve seen Brenda do later in scorch, and something I’ve seen Newt do since the very beginning is that they allow Thomas to come to his own conclusions in order to create his own opinions on the matters at hand. Thomas’ love language revolves around words of affirmation. He likes it when people confirm his thoughts are valid and that remind him that WICKD can’t hurt him anymore now that he has the power to be his own person. This is where Newt comes in very handy. He allows Thomas to grow in ways his female love interests have yet to show, sorry Brenda but I’ve heard you were trying to unite all immunes together to the safe haven by the end and in a sense still only using Thomas to get by; I still think she was the better call than teresa of course and I have no remorse for Teresa getting smushed by a boulder. But essentially my point here is that, how do you fail to make your initial love interests clash so badly where one has no real care about the others well being so long as everything goes according to WCKD by using a form of gaslighting and manipulation? AND THOMAS HAS STATED HIS DISCOMFORT ON THIS MULTIPLE TIMES, but the narrative always erases these instances from his mind in place of pity for Teresa’s well being (as you can tell, Teresa through this becomes my least favorite character, I can rant about her some othe time though with proper backing). The narrative in turn treats it all like a joke. I understand there are scenes where Thomas is worried about her and looks out to make sure shes ok, but even then he doesn’t know how to react with mental images of her kissing his cheek or when she screams the next minute that she doesn’t know who he is or how hes speaking into her mind. And thats because they can’t properly communicate their emotions to the other, not even in fever code could Thomas give a forward answer if he loved Teresa or not, she just assumed. Come to think of it, Thomas really doesn’t show much affection to Teresa of his own accord. So then, how DOES Thomas show his affection? Thomas provides acts of service as his love language, if he cares about you enough he will risk his life for you. Why? Because Thomas values putting the people he loves foremost knowing full well they are what help him have purpose and succeed in continuing on. In a way, Newt and Thomas’ dynamic works in this instance because they balance the other out and because they have seen each other at their worst and at their best. In a way, that's why knowing the ending of the books makes it harder to accept that Thomas would just easily take the shot...when all his life clung to Newt’s survival. But that’s a story for another time where I compare the movies (of which let me make that clear, yes I prefer) over the books. For now just know that the book may have done this by accident, maybe not, but at the end of the day theres solid proof that Thomas and Newt care about each other in a way that is separately portrayed from their connection to the other glade members, and have this consistency of soft moments running through the entirety of the series. In conclusion; newtmas. Newtmas. NEWTMAS, etc.

[ohnobjyx]

I've seen so many sol0 fans or just people that have watched cql and cares for the cast, talking about how they feel that bjyx is something one sided and unrequited. some comments about how xz (in the later fan meetings) is kinda just patiently indulging yb but clearly was not v happy about it. Sometimes I do think xz is more reserved and seems to try to "tame" yb to be more discreet about their, whatever it is, thing but i don't particularly think he is cold? What do you think?

I know it may sound odd but is there some analysis about Xiao feelings towards Yibo? I mean this guy is head over heels for him, no doubt about that but I don’t really feel the same from Xiao? I mean I could be wrong since I’m new there and didn’t read a lot of analysis so if you have some can you link them please? Thank you! And I don’t ask this in a « wrong » way like I genuinely feel like there’s something but I don’t see the same feelings towards each other. Again, I could be wrong! 

Hi, anons. These asks has been sitting for the longest time in my inbox, so I decided to tackle them today (still writing two days later, I’ve desisted on creating a more organized post and I’m just dumping my thoughts here this time).

(It’s also that I’m frustrated about this, because these are two of the most polite ones, but I’ve also received others less well worded ones, that basically imply that there’s nothing from gg).

For the anon asking for some analysis, I’ll leave a link here to a post that basically sums up my own thoughts.

Disclaimer: as always, don’t take bjyx seriously. Pure speculation here.

Long post.

Before I start, I want to say that I shouldn’t be the one to convince you to anything. It’s never my intention to impart the “universal truth” or to be patronising. If any of you really feels that there’s nothing from gg, no matter what I say, you won’t be convinced by my post alone. And it’s alright to agree to disagree. Just keep it in mind.

I feel that what anons describe it’s something that often happens to new bxg. Dd’s so obvious, so painfully obvious that in comparison, gg is much more “discreet” (well, we had to learn to read Lan Wangji’s expressions, didn’t we? The same happens with gg’s gestures). I don’t agree with the idea of dismissing someone’s love just because they aren’t as obvious and as telling as their partner at first glance (gg’s songs and drawings aren’t as straightforward, but they are there for those who care to listen and see).

From my pov, I think it’s very very probable that they are together. So, that works both ways for me. I don’t think dd’s love unrequited. They take care of each other in ways that speak of a high level of trust, intimacy and chemistry (yes, I initially wrote that post for these asks). I’ve talked about subtle ways to display your love, because when you love someone it’s difficult to hide it, and gg has a hard time trying to hide for the cameras.

(I’m still thinking of Happy Camp, when dd hurt his neck with the necklace... gg’s reaction wasn’t controlled in the slightest, and the combination of worry and anger would be a interesting combo if gg indeed wasn’t anything to dd or if he hadn’t gifted him the necklace).

Gg often has a hard time controlling his reactions when dd is involved. He’s much more natural, a lot closer to how he really is instead of his very polite and soft public persona. He get a glimpse of him in the bts (I suppose they never expected CQL to be so popular, and didn’t thought that the bts would be so watched a year afterwards), and comparing how he is in the bts with dd to how he usually is in other interviews and events with other people is a very interesting exercise.

It’s true that gg in the interviews seemed to try to hold back dd, to the point that they both lied sometimes in the interviews... the effect they caused was contrary to what they wanted. Definitely. Because they tended to forget what they had lied about, and the “plot” had holes everywhere. Like gg reacting surprised to the possibility of dd starting a fashion brand. Twice. In the same day. Or the eggplant/carrots thing. Or the “I didn’t know you slept with the lights on, but I’m aware of your sleeping pattern” thing. Please note that these three plot holes were caused by gg (in the second case, I’m refering to carrots ofc).

About what the first anon says of “how xz (in the later fan meetings) is kinda just patiently indulging yb but clearly was not v happy about it”. It’s one thing that by then they’d have noticed that their cp had attracted a whole lot more attention that they had ever expected it to and a whole another thing to “indulge” someone (as if only dd wanted it and gg had nothing to say about it) and “not be very happy about it”. Gg might have tried, but even he couldn’t completely erase all of the little moments directed at dd (and you have to take into account that gg was actually sick in the last fan meeting in Nanjing, that’s bound to affect his mood too).

(There’s no one else when they look at each other. No wonder Wen Ning achieved such a third wheel look when they were filming the boat scene, I suppose it’s taken from real life).

How gg looks at dd and only smirks when dd looks up... well, gg still makes his best effort at being discreet...

And dd in this moment... well, what can one do when a man like gg looks at you like that? (dd.exe has stopped working. Please restart).

Source of the gifs: 仙娱

Last but not least, I’d like to talk a little about W/ibo Night, the main source of many people’s doubts. I’ve seen many analysis, from “poor puppy dd following gg around” (that’s... bs) to some better analysis that deserve to be taken into account.

W/ibo Night is an event organized by a state controlled social media platform. It’s one of the most observed events of the years, with potential future employers and coworkers, apart from the government, so it’s not just them, but everyone is very serious and controlled in their actions.

They obviously had agreed beforehand on how to behave in this one. While dd is very serious, he doesn’t seem angry or sad that gg isn’t looking his way. However, they both can’t help but look in each other’s direction (gg’s more discreet, but pay attention and you’ll see him side glancing at dd at least three times on stage) and the way dd turns just so he can have a look at gg is... 🤦

They tried so hard that it ended up getting the effect they wanted to avoid: when everybody else was greeting each other (friendly hadshakes, patting their backs, etc.) these two just stood there, a little awkwardly. It became obvious to most people that they were acting as if they were strangers.

I think (speculation here) that while they had agreed to act as if they didn’t know each other, gg was... off that night. His eyes were very bright (as if teary, so not in a good way) and his smiles were tense, so I’d say in a bad mood or maybe he was feeling under the weather. I think dd was worried, so that’s why he kept glancing at him (I’ve read about the rumours of why gg was like that, but I tend to dismiss them if there’s no proof).

For someone as polite as gg, to walk so obviously in front of dd when they were getting on stage (c-culture here: the one who walks in front has more seniority/authority, so gg always lets the other people walk in front of him as a sign of politeness and respect), speaks of a familiarity that exceeds that of coworkers. Dd’s actions need no more words: waiting for gg and letting him walk in front comes naturally to him.

Choosing fans (though at first, dd just looks at gg choose his). I don’t know if you remember, but gg chose “I can do it” and dd chose “I have it difficult” (as a way of saying “I can’t”). I think it was entirely a coincidence, because dd was looking at his gg choosing his fan, the one he had wanted at first was taken by another person, so he chose this one as “I couldn’t take the fan I wanted” and “it’s difficult for me to choose”.

However, look at the happy and surprised smile from gg when he notices that his fan and dd’s make a pair (similar to “yes” and “no”, gg had filmed an ad for the event in which he linked this two exact phrases as opposites). A sad spoiler: this is the only time he truly, spontaneously smiles at the event (and notice how dd’s face inmediately mirrors gg’s and how he tries to rein it in a second later). 

I couldn’t find a video, but just before leaving the stage, dd looks at gg again and shakes his fan. Without a single word, gg understands that dd is asking from where to leave the stage, and makes the slightest movement with his fan to point the way. I assure you, this level of 默契 (mo qi) is difficult to find even in established long time relationships.

Once they are seated, gg leaves for a second and tells dd “I’m leaving” and dd answers “okay”. There’d be no need for this interaction unless they’re still friends/couple.

This one broke my heart a little: dd had been sitting on a plastic bottle the whole time. Usually gg clears his seat when dd comes (Nanjing fan meeting, Tencent awards night), probably because he has noticed that dd doesn’t care that he’s sitting on things. Dd left earlier the event because of his schedule, and once gg came back from getting his w/ibo king award, he sits on dd’s seat. And notices the water bottle under him. Even his poker face can’t hide the sad fondness “aiyo this boy...”

Some say he sat in the seat next to dd’s, but there’s a video I can’t seem to find (the despair is real) of gg sitting on the water bottle, so it’s indeed dd’s seat.

Also, you may try to think this from your own perspective: when and why would you sit in another person’s seat in an event as important as this one? If I try to answer this from my pov, I’d say that first I’d need to know that that person wouldn’t mind me sitting there and/or knowing that this person isn’t going to come back to the event. In both cases, it requires communication and trust between these two people. Gg had to know that dd was leaving first (and why would dd tell gg if not because they chat about their work schedules?) and that dd wouldn’t mind once the fancams made it to social media. This is what I think, at least.

Okay, so here ends my post. I just exposed some of my thoughts on why I think yizhan is NOT one sided or unrequited. But of course, you’re allowed to disagree with me, anons, since we are all in the speculation ground here. Nonetheless, note that this is a yizhan/bjyx blog, which implies (at least for me) that there are feelings from both sides, so I may not interact further with one-sided yizhan/bjyx asks.

(BTW, I found a very complete post of moments where yizhan isn’t one sided here, so I decided not to elaborate on those moments in this post).

[sleepsuck]

do u have any rules on your blog that you’d like people to follow

Don't be underage (obviously) and don’t be an asshole are the big ones.

The rest of this is mostly gonna be suggestions if you plan on interacting with me here, since this stuff has been on my mind for awhile. Some of this will probably apply to more than just interacting with me too.

First of all: I understand all my content is centered around hypnosis and sex, but you can talk to me about other stuff. I’m into anime, games, and programming as well as the stuff I reblog. If you wanna talk about those, life, or something else you’re into then feel free.

And I’m not constantly horny, so messaging me doesn’t mean you have to enter into some sexual conversation with me. Sometimes I might assume you are just because of the nature of DMs I usually get and how bad people are with being upfront about it, but you can always let me know at any point if you just wanna talk about regular stuff.

If you’re looking to message a sexual blog for fun, you should understand whether or not they’re okay with it first. I’m fine if people want to cold DM me when they’re horny, but others might not be. Also I might not be available when you do, and by the time I respond you might not want to get into that stuff at all. So you’re in for mixed results if you do that, but things happen when you get horny so I understand. If we work out some time beforehand and say what kind of stuff we’re looking for out of it, we’ll both end up much happier.

Next big thing: tell people when you’re not comfortable with something or if it’s veering off into a less interesting direction. Seriously, not everyone is a mind reader. If your only feedback during a session is sending an occasional “yess” and nothing else, I have zero fucking clue if you’re even into it still. For all I know you’re just trying not to be rude but either you already finished or just don’t care anymore and have already moved on. Just be clear about things, otherwise I’ll just assume you’re fine with continuing.

So yeah, be more open to discussion. We're not in high school anymore and we're all in a sexual community, we don't have to play weird games. People are super nervous on here and I get that but let's all just calm down and talk things out. If we’re both horny and into the same things, I’m sure we can work something out.

I hope it’s already apparent based on my name and content, but I'm really into hypnosis and blowjobs specifically. Most of you following are at least fans of hypnosis but some of you probably don't care about blowjobs as much as me. If it’s not clear yet, I’m more into oral sex than any other kind of sex. And when some of you DM me, you expect more out of me without expressly saying so. If you just want to sext based on a few of my posts which reflect this then I’m going to assume you want the same unless you tell me otherwise. So if you’d rather I push things in certain directions, just ask.

That all being said, understand I have a life outside all this so I can't answer every message I get immediately. I get a lot of DMs and some of them I either don’t know how to respond to or just forget about. Try not to feel any pressure in DMing me again if you really want my attention.

Also I'm fine if sissies follow me and enjoy my content but please don't try to DM me for sissy stuff, it feels super awkward for me and I’m not into it. It’s unfortunate because I get so many of these kind of messages actually.

Kind of related to that, but I want to reiterate for some people: I’m a straight guy. So I gravitate towards girls. Guys can still message me about whatever, but I’m probably never going to get sexual with you. Again this is unfortunate given my whole blowjob thing, but it is what it is.

Anyways that’s it. Hopefully all this makes sense and is helpful.

Remember, the magic word is “communication”.

[sepublic]

Eda’s Hesitation

           We know that when Eda was younger, she eventually had to make the choice to defy the Coven System… And this was after YEARS of wanting to join the Emperor’s Coven, wanting to do it besides Lilith. It must’ve been a gradual realization after witnessing firsthand just how much the Coven System sucks… And I have to wonder when the idea first came into her head, about doing this? About the kind of consequences this’d entail?

           And how Eda must’ve stuck to joining the Emperor’s Coven because of this, until… Until it became too much. Until she began to volunteer for the Emperor’s Coven, and trained for that spot. And it must’ve hit her that this was her last chance to back out; That if she joined, she’d be selling her soul. Eda MUST have made the decision to defy the Coven System, in the brief period between being told there was only one spot left, and THAT duel… Unless Eda was always planning to defy them to their face and ‘enrolled’ because she saw the duel as an opportunity to really stick it to the EC’s faces. Granted, I’m not sure if duels are an actual thing if there are plenty of spots available, and Eda wouldn’t have known ahead of time, so it’s possible she would’ve just had her position confirmed after her grades were checked; Still…

           But in all possibility, I think Eda was legitimately thinking about joining the Emperor’s Coven, and… Maybe it was until that LAST moment, just as she was about to duel Lilith, that Eda made her choice. She accepted the painstaking consequences of being persecuted as a Wild Witch, because deep down she always felt persecuted and at least here she could be honest about it, at least here she wouldn’t have to subject others towards the same; She could never justify it to herself that someone else (like Lilith) would take her spot, so Eda may as well enjoy herself in the EC…

           Because in the end, Eda knew the Emperor’s Coven would’ve been so much more miserable in others way to herself, personally. Eda knew the risks and she fully accepted them… So it’s so much more painful, then, that she gets utterly blindsided by the curse. That even if she HAD chosen to join the Emperor’s Coven… Well, Lilith made that choice for her by casting the curse. Even if Eda had won, I’m not sure if the Emperor’s Coven would’ve accepted a cursed witch into their ranks, unless Belos really showed interest and just cured Eda’s curse right on the spot.

           In the years following the curse, Eda probably wondered how or why the curse was cast, if it was done in direct reaction to her defiance- Which in itself would be humiliating and degrading, make Eda doubt her own actions and consequences, especially if she had no idea WHO cast it, if it was the will of the Titan and its nature that she so revered… Or if it was cast beforehand, if it occurred to Eda that her choice was made for her anyway, whether she liked it or not. Neither option is great, because Eda values being able to choose things on her own terms and embrace them as such; She wanted to choose rejection on her own terms by being the one to defy the Emperor’s Coven, because she had a feeling they’d throw her aside a while after seeing her rebellious spirit anyway.

           So it really must’ve felt like that power of choice, that agency, was stripped from her… And it makes Eda question if it was worth it. Or if she was just lucky she chose the option that the curse had intended for her… Otherwise it would’ve been so much more traumatic if she decided to join the Emperor’s Coven, only to have those dreams forcibly crushed. And Lilith… When Eda finds out it was LILITH who cursed her, and considers the implications, the meaning?

           I have to consider that Eda’s choice to defy the system blindsided Lilith. Lilith went into this duel for a long while, fully expecting Eda to give it her all and that’s why she bought the curse to begin with. When Eda made her choice, did she consider what this would mean for Lilith, or did she not? Did Eda consider how the two sisters would separate… Did she think about trying to convince Lilith otherwise, or was she so uncertain about her decision that she only chose at the last moment- And by then, it was too late to really talk to Lilith about it? If so, then did Eda have reservations about not bringing Lilith with her, about leaving her sister behind to become a covenscout, a life she despised and knew was harmful?

           Maybe Eda was planning to talk to Lilith after her sister got confirmed, in the transitional period to the Emperor’s Coven- Let her know why she made her choice, and desperately convince Lily to make the same with her. Because Eda wouldn’t want to leave behind her sister, she loves her sister and she knows that Lilith feels the same. Or did Eda consider just letting Lilith make her decision, because she wasn’t AS opposed to the coven system at that point in time? That it was just a personal decision for Eda and not a moral stance? Eda wouldn’t want to leave Lilith behind, but… Maybe she considered the idea of respecting Lilith’s choices, not wanting to force her to do things- And that led to Eda letting Lilith join the Emperor’s Coven. Maybe in the aftermath of the curse, Eda stubbornly balanced coping with her new condition amidst explaining her reasoning to Lilith, or maybe she was too distracted to get the chance, which makes Lilith’s choice all the more tragic as she could’ve understood, so much earlier, WHY Eda did what she did…

           Did Eda tell Lilith, and did Lilith, grappling with the guilt of cursing Eda, the realization of what Eda did, the concern for her sister… How did they argue, and how much did it break Eda’s heart to see Lilith join the Emperor’s Coven, even after seeing what they did to her little sister? And Lilith, I could see her justifying this to Eda and herself by claiming that in the Emperor’s Coven, there are resources that could help her cure Eda… But of course, Eda asks if Lilith plans to leave once (or if) that happens, and Lilith hesitates. And Eda hears all she needs to, and launches into another fierce debate about WHY Lilith should leave…

           And then Lilith calls out Eda for making her own decision so suddenly, for not warning her ahead of time. And Eda has to admit it was last-second, which makes both sisters doubt the permanence of Eda’s decision or if it was just a brief lapse in judgment… But it doesn’t matter now, because of the curse. And growing up, I imagine Eda grappled for a while, wondering if she REALLY accepted this life, or just begrudgingly had to because of the curse… If after a few years of being a wild witch, she would’ve come crawling back to the Emperor’s Coven had there been no curse? It’s this kind of doubt and confusion of self and decisions that would’ve really undermined Eda’s choices… And it would’ve led to Lilith misinterpreting them as well, if Eda wasn’t so sure herself. It would’ve led to Lilith believing if the curse was cured, then of course Eda would join!

           Obviously Eda realized, once and for all, that this was the life she would’ve embraced had she not been cursed, had the window to the Emperor’s Coven always been open… Ironically, I think it was Lilith who showed her that; Lilith made it clear to Eda that her curse COULD be cured by Belos, that Eda’s past years of a wild witch would’ve been forgotten. But Eda didn’t care, she truly knew what her decision was… Granted, maybe Lilith only brought up Belos himself curing Eda’s curse during Sense and Insensitivity. Maybe Eda thought she just had reservations about looking weak and uncertain to others by going back on her word, that even without the curse she had to stick to it for her own honor and pride and dignity…

           Maybe Eda DID realize what she meant, before Lilith revealed that Belos could in fact cure her curse. Not to mention, Eda would’ve looked for a cure on her own terms… There would’ve been a lot of doubt, a lot of consideration that maybe she would’ve chosen differently- But I think Eda would reflect on her childhood and be all the more certain. And ESPECIALLY after meeting Luz and King, too…! Perhaps Eda affirmed her choice well before Lilith confirmed that Belos could cure the curse. Did Eda reason with this by believing she could find another means, or did she accept the curse as permanent unless by Belos… And still chose it, because being a wild witch was that much to her?

           I have to wonder if Eda, in the aftermath of the curse… In the aftermath of learning the truth- Did she wonder if this was her punishment? Her punishment for not being more decisive, for not choosing to defy the Coven System sooner rather than later, for not being more defiant from the very beginning? Is this the cost of her hesitation? Because if Eda had been upfront and clear about not joining the EC from the beginning, Lilith would’ve never cursed her to get that remaining spot… Is this universal karma for Eda’s hesitation and lack of conviction, even if she did eventually turn around- Just as Lilith waited too long to join Eda, and their relationship suffered as a result?

           But, no… Eda shakes her head. That’s silly, that’s validating of trauma by implying there was a reason behind it, that it was good- But even so. I have to wonder if Eda will ever feel angry at herself for not knowing herself sooner, for not communicating with Lilith from the start… Or if she recognizes that no, Eda shouldn’t blame herself, this was fully Lilith and Belos’ propaganda. Eda shouldn’t victim-blame, sure, things could’ve gone differently had Eda chosen sooner- But it’s totally unfair to blame herself for not being as decisive. But then if Eda doesn’t blame herself for not being as quick, it doesn’t change the fact that had she been more certain, or a little more reckless…

           …It’s in the past, though. There’s no point fretting and regretting, Eda made her choices and she sticks with them, she tells Luz as such when she’s about to be petrified, all because she willingly sacrificed herself for Luz. Eda knows what she’s done, Eda knows what happened, she could gripe over could’ve, would’ve, should’ve- But in the end she’s not changing the past, she needs to focus on changing the present and future. And things HAVE been changing for the better, as now Lilith is by her side, and helping her with the curse. Still, I can’t help but wonder if Eda blamed herself initially for not steering Lilith away from the coven system, or if she too recognized that Lilith was also her own individual, with her own choices… That it was up to Lilith, in the end. And Lilith chose differently…

           So, maybe it was more than the curse that happened because of Eda’s indecision, maybe it was Lilith’s indoctrination- And the latter, Eda might feasibly blame herself a lot more for. Eda might grapple with feeling like she failed her sister, only to remember Lilith is the older and SHOULD be caring for Eda… But on the one hand, maybe Lilith always did, and that’s why she chose the curse, because she felt entitled towards this one moment of selfishness? It’s still disproportionate, but maybe Eda considers that she should’ve been kinder to Lily, or at least worked harder to reach out to her… For BOTH of their sakes, really. When Eda made her choice that day, did she assume Lilith was never going to change her mind, and so didn’t bother trying to convince her- She went in fully assuming that losing Lilith to the EC was an inevitability, a constant between Eda’s choices?

           And did faulting Lilith, not thinking enough of her –because Eda apparently always thought she was better- did this cause trouble in the end? Well… Eda can at least believe in Lilith’s capacity to change NOW, and now she’s encouraged to at least put more initiative, to at least try to talk to others. Luz tries with Amity, and look how that turned out! Luz is inspiring to Eda in a lot of ways. Eda knows she wasn’t perfect, and she does a lot to learn from Luz, to be inspired by the girl to become better and improve in her own way, and thus be way more effective in her rebellion against the coven system.

          Eda is going to have to balance alongside Lilith, that Lilith is her own person who made her choices… But at the same time, she was also a child unfairly indoctrinated by the Coven System as well. And maybe Eda needs to give herself some slack, because so was she- She did the best she could, there’s no point in beating herself up over not being even better. That’s the kind of mentality the Coven System encourages, anyway- Never being satisfied with what you have, while also being forced to accept less.

          In the end, it’s the Coven System to blame for this whole mess. Its indoctrination led to Eda’s hesitation, made her want to join for so long… Lilith and individuals in general have personal blame and culpability, of course- But in the end, if you trace it back, there’s a root cause. And it’s a lot more productive to tackle and stop this problem at its source, before then dealing with the rest afterwards… The Coven System is abusive and gaslights people into victim-blaming, so it’s about time that Eda recognizes that her lack of decisiveness as a kid is fully to blame on Belos as well. Eda did the best she could against the system and she needs to give herself some credit, stop being so hard on herself for being ‘ineffective’ for all those years… Eda still changed herself in the end, was true to that, wasn’t she? That alone would’ve been sufficient, and proof that Eda made some kind of a difference…

          And then she changed Luz, who’s changed so much since then- And Eda is happy with what she’s accomplished, while also willing and able to reach for even more. Because with more, Eda can get better things for OTHER people as well… She doesn’t want anyone to live the trauma she endured and works to prevent this- Now she can work to bring the joy that she herself found with her found family, to others. Eda was once resigned to giving Luz the happiness she herself couldn’t get- Now she’s embraced giving others the happiness, she herself DOES have and has earned! If Eda can get it, so can others- And she can teach them how to, as someone who figured it out on her own. They don’t have to blindly stumble like Eda did, she’s got a lot of wisdom and experience to offer, and at least THAT she got from her time alone… Her cursed life wasn’t ideal, but she made the most of it and that’s what she always does!

[rosesloveletters]

Self-Shipping Reference.

I have been debating on creating a self-shipping reference for these two, but since I am certain of our dynamic at this point, I wanted to delve right in; I love Will and Jakob so very much and I wanted to create a little collection of our relationship like I’ve done before in the past. Most of all, this is for me so that I can have it as a reference, so there is absolutely no obligation to interact with this post. If you do, thank you for showing us so much love and care, I really appreciate it more than anything. This community is so welcoming of self-shipping and that means a lot to me<3.

last updated: June 17, 2021

please do not read if you are not interested in or comfortable with self-shipping.

word count: 2,908

Ship name?

Our collective ship name is Grimmrose, for obvious reasons (my poly heart can hardly take it😭✨💛) 

I do not feel I should need to say this (as it should already be implied), but since I do not want angry anons in my ask box about this, I will state: Will and Jakob are not romantically involved in our dynamic; the love they have for each other is familial only. They both share me, but that is as far as it goes. There is absolutely no incestuous aspects of our relationship. 

Date you got together?

Jakob: May 26, 2021. The open honesty and security within our vulnerabilities were what prompted Jakob and I to jump in headfirst. We knew how we felt almost immediately; Jakob believes in love at first sight and I value that sentiment. It was a mutual understanding that the two of us were meant to be together (even if I hadn’t already known, the darling would have convinced me - he is extremely persuasive and given to a dreamer’s mindset.) The two of us easily came to an agreement on beginning a relationship because of how similar we have found ourselves to be. It was not difficult to access what each other was thinking and how we chose to approach those thoughts and feelings. Jakob is driven by those, after all, and his bright spirit and general interest in the things that cannot be so easily explained drew me to him. 

Will: 

Platonic:  May 26, 2021.

 Romantic: June 14, 2021. 

Will was, to my surprise, not as difficult to access as I expected. He has a much different personality to Jakob’s; the two are near opposite ends of the spectrum. Will’s mission has been to protect Jakob, mostly from himself, but Jakob does not understand that the reason Will is so hard on him is because Will feels helpless around him. Jakob’s mind is so bright and open, while Will does not understand how to compete with that nor how to understand or fit into Jakob’s world of folklore and mythical, magical beings. He feels weak in comparison to Jakob’s spirit; Will values my ability to cross those lines and connect with both him and Jakob. Will has never known another to be so well-suited for his brother and he is respectful of how we interact, since until now he has been the only one who has been able to reach Jakob. We were platonic for several weeks out of respect for Jakob, but soon entered into a mutual agreement to share the love that we all have for each other; the brothers agreed to share me since they have both developed such strong feelings. 

Favorite personality trait?

Jakob: His sense of security within vulnerabilities. Jakob is more given to childlike excitement and the thrill of action whenever it is of a magical quality. He fidgets, has a distinct nervous energy/uncomfortable body language, a clear mind but one that fancies fiction over reality. Whenever he drinks, he’s giddy and excited; the only one who can get through to him in these moments are Will and I. The thing is, Jakob has never tried to be anybody but himself. He is aware that these qualities are not valued by the vast majority and are perhaps seen as weaknesses or even are simply frowned upon (much of this he experienced as a result of the way Will treated him over the years), but even all of that has never caused his personality to shift or made him close himself off. Jakob has always found security within who he is, regardless of whether those around like it or not.

Will: His protective commitment to those who he loves. Even though Will canonically admitted his frustrations over Jakob and how he “hates” his younger bother, stating how Jakob “drives him mad”, he is fiercely protective of him and committed to maintaining their relationship in spite of any disagreements or arguments. Will does not give up on those he loves. Even though it would have made sense for him to toss Jakob into the streets and leave him if he truly hates him, but Will does not. Despite his confession, he has never actually hated his brother; Jakob makes him feel weak, helpless and inferior because Jakob’s comprehension of things beyond Will’s understanding or compulsion to understand or look beyond what is right in front of him is too different and unusual to him. 

Favorite physical trait?

Jakob: His eyes. Jakob’s eyes are so expressive; they sparkle in the light and his irises twinkle. His soul appears as if it were made from stardust and every bit of him glows. His eyes reflect the innocence and playful mischief bound within him; he is a dreamer at heart and his eyes mirror that. 

Will: His smile. There is a scene when Jakob and Will first arrive at Marbaden and they are confronted by the townspeople with weapons, uncertain of who these two strangers are, and when Will tries to explain who they are his smile is simply dazzling. I believe that was the moment I found myself in love with him; I have not seen a smile so bright in a long time. Here’s a screenshot of his smile (Jakob’s expression in the background is so funny😂):

Couple song

We do not have a couple song yet; we have couple albums. 

Taylor Swift’s albums Folklore and Evermore are sister albums, so it only makes sense that they are representative of the two brothers respectively: Folklore for Jakob and Evermore for Will. 

Both albums are suited to the three of us; the feelings provoked from both establish the tone of our relationship. 

Pet peeves…

There is only one: their constant bickering/arguing and fights. It is natural for siblings to fight, but the longer I spend with these two, the more consistently they seem to fight in front of me. I do not believe the fighting affects their relationship as perhaps it did in the past; they seem very content, even after they’ve been fighting a while, and neither of them holds a grudge anymore. 

Favorite outfit on them?

I will share photos since it would take some time to explain in enough detail; I am a sucker for older/medieval clothing (perhaps this is why this movie spoke to me in such a way?)

These are my favorite outfits of theirs:

their armor is a close second, because it really makes me laugh:

Favorite meal?

Jakob: This bit is indicative of all of us and I was the one who introduced the brothers to this meal - vegetable soup; beef/broth, noodles, peas, carrots, tomatoes, corn, green beans, potatoes. The brothers are used to eating whatever is being served them at the pubs they visit and the inns at each town they stay and, needless to say, are not often prepared a meal especially one to their specific tastes. The first time I made this for them, they ate heartily and it has been their favorite since. 

Will: This is less of a specific meal and more of a eating habit of his, but Will is partial to sweet treats and desserts of all kind. His favorite treat is soft bread with a sticky, sugary glaze (wait until I tell him about glazed donuts😂) 

Early bird or night owl?

Neither of the Grimms are particularly one or the other. They both have been known to stay awake all hours of the night for one reason or another; Jakob stays up writing most nights when brand new ideas flood his mind and prevent sleep. He works whenever inspiration strikes and if that is the middle of the night, then Will or I will find him hunched over his desk, pen scratching away across the page as he squints to read what he has written under the low candlelight. 

Will stays awake late born out of a habit he has yet to change. He does not like to sleep very soundly until he knows that Jakob and I are either asleep or keeping each other company; Will takes responsibility of us quite seriously. Since we’ve begun a relationship, they do not go out as much as they once had and when we do, they are awake nearly the entire night and whenever they crash, they are both out cold. 

If I wake up throughout the night, Jakob sleeps so soundly that he would not know (he wears earplugs if we’re staying at an inn because the noise bothers him.) Will always wakes up whenever I do; the shifting around wakes him, but he does not usually open his eyes or speak to me until I come back to bed and he settles me back into my spot. 

Snorer or sleep talker?

Jakob: SLEEP TALKER! Jakob talks in his sleep nearly every night, most especially if he has had something to drink beforehand or if Will has gotten under his skin about something. Stress/anxiety also trigger it; I don’t hear him often, because he only does it in a deep sleep which is usually whenever I’ve already fallen asleep. 

Will: Will does not snore or talk in his sleep; he is unusually quiet, however, he will groan or mumble softly if he’s turning over or something like that. He does not move a lot when he’s sleeping either. 

Do you have any pets together?

No, our lifestyle is not suited to pets, unless horses used for transportation count. 

Pet names! (Both from them and yours for them)

Will’s for me: little one/little girl, peanut

Jakob’s for me: sweetheart, darling, lover

Mine for Jakob: Jakey, Beanstalk (turning Will’s mean comments into something sweet💕), Dreamer, Sweetie/Sweet One/Sweet Baby

Mine for Will: Blondie, Prince Charming (only in certain scenarios)

Ones Jakob and Will use collectively for me: Briar Rose, Rosebud, Unicorn, Beauty/Belle (a play off my favorite fairytale), Princess

Ones I use collectively for Jakob & Will: Grimmy

How often do you fight? What starts fights?

I have yet to have any fights with either of the brothers (though I have had mild disagreements with Will over the way he speaks to Jakob.)

Jakob and Will fight often and about everything, but more often than not, the source of the argument is their personality difference. Their interests clash significantly and they find it difficult to coexist at times because Will feels he must fill the role of Jakob’s caretaker, while Jakob simply wants Will to be his brother and believe in him. 

I usually do not get involved in their squabbles unless Will speaks out of turn. He can be somewhat hateful in the remarks he makes to his brother and I am not afraid to set the record straight. Jakob has gotten much better at standing up for himself; he is not afraid to get physical if things escalate to that point, though I have yet to see them lay a hand on each other. Jakob knows that one swift punch is all that he needs to deliver for Will to fall in line and understand that he is serious; he saves them for when he needs them and has only punched Will outright one time, that I am aware of. 

Who apologizes first?

This depends on who feels they are “wrong”. Will does not like to apologize, so usually it is Jakob who initiates the apology. Occasionally, neither will apologize and it is implied that they both have and things will continue on like normal as if nothing ever happened (this is best case scenario.) 

I have not known them to simply not apologize to each other for wrongdoing; Will has apologized to Jakob on a number of occasions where I have been present. If Will apologizes, it is usually for speaking too harshly to Jakob or bringing up the “magic beans” he has terrorized Jakob with for years. 

Big spoon or little spoon?

Jakob: Jakob adores being the little spoon. Even though he likes to hold onto me at night, nothing seems to compare to being held. Jakob has gone the majority of his life without being shown affection and tender love; he is so touch-starved that he asks to be held almost every night. 

Will: Will is the only F/O (aside from J) who I allow to be the big spoon on a regular basis. I trust him implicitly and know that he will keep me safe; he likes to hold onto me while we sleep so that he knows and can feel he isn’t alone. He does not like to sleep whenever it is too cold and he wants a warm body pressed against him. 

Dom or sub?

Jakob: Submissive.

Will: Dominant.

Will has had his misgivings over Jakob and I, both being submissives, entering into a relationship together, but it has not presented an issue so far. Most of the time, Jakob and I love all over each other so it doesn’t matter one way or another😂 It is rare for Jakob and I to be sexually intimate. 

Will takes on the more dominant role, since he has been so with Jakob over the years of their lives before they’d met me. Will is the nurturer and takes care of us both; he remains protective of us despite certain insecurities and fears. Will takes on more of the sexual responsibilities of their relationship with me because of his experience with women.

What are their kisses like?

Jakob: Jakob’s kisses begin as achingly shy, reverential ones that develop into slowly sensual, spontaneous or exploratory ones. Jakob likes to hold my hands when we kiss and I like the way his facial hair pleasantly scratches my face; he is always extremely gentle and never oversteps. I especially love when he kisses me with such eager impulsivity that our cheeks turn red and we laugh when it’s over. 

Will: Will’s kisses can either be covetous and greedy, fervent, and deeply passionate or chaste and flirtatious. He always cups my cheeks, chin or tangles his fingers in my hair at the back of my head while kissing me; his lips often taste sweet or sugary from how often he indulges on sweets. My favorite of Will’s kisses are the languid, open-mouthed ones when he uses his tongue. 

What do they smell like?

Jakob: Parchment, books and ink, candlewax, earth just after it has rained, sweet basil, a vaguely sweet musk, warm skin.

Will: Warm sugar, sweat/spicy musk, pine, flame. 

What are their hugs like?

Jakob: Bear-like, full-bodied, fiercely affectionate and warm. 

Will: Long, tight, unexpectedly powerful and almost needy. 

Who is more protective?

Will. 

Both brothers are fiercely protective of me and I know that, in spite of their differences, neither would ever let anything happen to me. As long as they are facing danger together, they would willingly take on any enemy (Jakob would never let Will face danger alone and vice versa.)

Interested in children?

No. Will says that Jakob and I are enough like children as it stands😂

Who needs the most TLC when sick?

Will AND Jakob. They are both huge babies whenever they are sick and all they want is to be taken care of. Surprisingly, they bicker a lot more whenever they’re sick; mainly, they fight over who gets to cuddle me first.

Whenever I am sick, I tend to react the same way and the brothers are more than obliged to take care of me in any way they are able. Will takes the more ‘hands-on’ work like fetching me a drink, food, blankets, etc. and helping me move about as I need. Jakob does not like to leave my side and he will not do so unless instructed by Will and he will fetch me whatever is needed and then return to cuddle with me. 

Who says ‘I love you’ first?

I was the first one to say ‘I love you’ to either of the brothers. I told Jakob first; we nearly admitted it at the same time. We knew how we both felt upon the first of our meetings. 

It took me a while to say ‘I love you’ to Will. Our relationship began platonically; I did not feel comfortable saying so to him until I spoke with Jakob about it first. Intuitive of human emotions is he and he was already well-aware of how we felt about each other and, with his blessing and consent, the brothers agreed to share the love and, well, me. 

Which of you is more accident prone?

I bet you’re thinking either me or Jakob. WRONG! It’s Will. Jakob and I are very steady on our feet because we are full of rambunctious energy; Will is more laid back than either of us and he gets more indignant whenever he does accidentally hurt himself. 

Bed hog?

Jakob is more of a bed hog than Will or I. He is consistently moving around in his sleep, talking, etc. There is one unspoken rule: Jakob sleeps on the left side of the mattress, I am in the middle and Will is on the right. Both use me as a barrier and do not cross to the other’s side of the bed at any point and they each take turns cuddling with me until we all fall asleep. 

Who loves the other the most?

As if it even needs to be said, we all love each other equally, but in different ways. Jakob’s and Will’s relationship and love for each other is strictly familial, while the brothers’ relationships with me are both romantic. 

Will understands and accepts that my relationship with Jakob takes priority, as we began ours first and I am unspokenly Jakob’s above all else. Any and all major decisions are made between Jakob and I; we of course always consider Will’s emotions, well-being, etc. but Jakob prefers to take the reins in terms of calling the shots, in spite of Will being the dominant and more protective one. He feels like Will owes him this and Will is happy to allow his brother this courtesy, considering this is Jakob’s first true relationship. 

[bumblebee-moreno]

LGBT EDUCATION EVENT

I posted a bit ago to see who might be interested in an event for anyone to ask me any question they want about my LGBT identities, or the LGBT community in general, and there seemed to be quite a bit of interest, so here we are!

Event goes from midnight to midnight March 30 (starts in 5 minutes, lasts for the full 24 hours).

For those of you who don’t know me (you can skip this part if you already know who I am):

My name is Bumblebee, but you can call me Bee. I am white and use he/they pronouns. I am FTM nonbinary, queer, demisexual, and polyamorous. I work part-time at a non-profit targeted towards trans youth. At the non-profit, I moderate our 24/7 chat (I’m not the only moderator, don’t worry, I do sleep), am a facilitator for our middle school support group (When one of our high school facilitators cannot make it, I also step into that group occasionally). I also help create and present workshops (We are currently in the process of creating a presentation for Microsoft). My other job is as a receptionist for a Veterinary Clinic. (For safety reasons, I will not be sharing which nonprofit I work at, or which veterinary clinic I work at. If, for some reason you find out where I work, please keep this information to yourself). I was diagnosed with ADHD in February, and was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder two years ago. I have lived in the USA my whole life, and was raised in a non-religious household. My extended family is mostly Christian, with a few relatives who are Norse Pagan (we are originally from Norway). I am agnostic.

The purpose of this event:

Education. That’s literally it. I’ve noticed a lot of misconceptions about the LGBT community, and want to combat that with a good ol’ fashioned Q&A.

Here are a few rules before we start:

(I do have a TL/DR at the bottom, but if you have the time, I encourage you to read the full thing)

- This is a safe space.

This means a few things: You can ask any question you like and I will not be offended. Nothing is to be taken personally, it will always be assumed that you are trying to learn, unless you’ve clearly proven otherwise. If you’re hurt by something someone (including myself) has said, you’re free and encouraged to say something about it. All identities are welcome. Everything will be tagged with appropriate content warnings (If I don't tag something you need tagged, let me know and I will happily tag it!)

- Who can participate:

Anyone wanting to learn about anything LGBT, including but not limited to:

Cisgender/heterosexual people who want to become better allies, Writers who want to learn how to be more inclusive, People questioning their gender/sexuality, literally anyone prepared to be respectful to anyone else participating

(I do want to note: this event is open to NSFW conversations. If you are uncomfortable with this, please filter the tag “adult conversations”.)

- Any question is okay to ask.

This is a space for everyone to learn, regardless of their prior knowledge. I will never get offended by a question. I will not be offended by the phrasing of a question. If I am not comfortable answering something, I will explain why, but I will not be annoyed. Part of learning is making mistakes, and I want to be courteous to that.

I am super open, so I will answer almost every question, regardless of how personal it is, with a few exceptions (see the “my boundaries” point.

Yes, this means you can ask questions that you’ve been previously told never to ask. I want to clarify though: I will make it clear when a question is inappropriate to ask in normal circumstances. Since I am telling you beforehand that it’s okay to ask personal or private questions, it is acceptable to do so in this context. However, I will always add a note explaining why you shouldn’t ask people this in other circumstances so that it’s still clear which questions I am making exceptions for.

- My boundaries

I’m not going to share identifying information. That includes: My legal name, where I live, where I work, photos of myself, etc.

I’m not going to share my deadname either, though I am willing to have conversations about deadnames themselves.

I’m not going to share what my plans for bottom surgery are. I am fine to talk about bottom surgery itself, I am fine to share where I’m at right now, and have next to no boundaries about top surgery. But I’m not going to share what my plans for whether or not I’m getting bottom surgery are.

I’ve worked as a receptionist and trans advocate for long enough that I take nothing personally. Because of this, I ask that if you need to get upset or aggressive about something related to this event, please come to me directly instead of attacking a participant. I’d rather you send me hate than sending it to someone who is trying to use this safe space as a learning opportunity. This includes if you’re frustrated with a participant. I’m happy to facilitate a healthy conversation about a disagreement, but I will not tolerate anyone attacking others.

- Hate will be blocked.

When you’re talking directly to me, I’m going to assume you’re well-intentioned. HOWEVER. If you’re directly attacking others who are involved in the conversation, you will be blocked. If you have a problem, please come to me and I will work to resolve it. Sending hate to people other than myself is in violation of the safe space.

- My intention is never to speak over anyone

I don’t know everything about every identity. As a white person, I experience white privilege. As someone who passes as male about 80% of the time, I experience male privilege. I am able-bodied. I try my very best to educate myself, but I am still learning (and always will be).

If I speak on an identity that is not my own, I will always add a note to clarify this. I will only be speaking from the stories shared with me by people who have that identity, and from the additional research I have done.

MY WORDS ARE NEVER THE ONLY TRUTH. I cannot say this enough. Don’t take my words over those of someone who uses a specific label. Even if I also use that label. Everyone experiences the world differently. My words are a STARTING POINT. Please be aware that other opinions and experiences exist. I will try my best to have resources paired with every conversation so you can further your learning, but please be aware that I cannot teach you everything.

If I don’t know the answer, I will do research as well as provide you with sources.

- No question will go unanswered

Yes, this includes questions that come across as “disrespectful”. I have said this already, but I will always assume good intentions unless it’s proven that you’re coming from a place of malice. If a question is phrased in a way that comes across as harmful in any way, I will still answer it AND explain why you should ask it differently in the future or not ask it at all going forward.

If I don’t respond within 2 hours, please message me again: I either didn’t receive it or I am still writing my response. I don’t want to miss anyone just because you think I’m ignoring you, I promise I’m not.

The ONLY time I won’t answer a question is if you’ve made it clear that you’re only here to attack the people using this safe space (I will have already asked you to leave).

- If something upsets you, don’t ignore it.

If you’re hurt by something I, or someone else said, please let me know. My intentions are never to hurt or upset anyone.

You can disagree with people, including me, as long as you’re polite about it.

If you need me to talk to someone for you, I’m happy to do so. If you want a private conversation with me, my DMs are open. If you want to stay anonymous but don’t want your questions posted, use this 🌙 emoji (or just say so), and I’ll make a post trying my best to answer your question without sharing the contents of the ask itself.

I don’t expect you to educate me as to why you’re upset by something: that’s not your responsibility, I can educate myself. I do appreciate anyone willing to talk about differing views or why something upset them, but that is not the purpose of the event and you are under no obligation to educate anyone else. I will do my research the moment someone says something bothered them.

- Please don’t weaponise my words.

Please don’t use anything said here as a way to attack people. This event is to educate people. I hope there’s nothing said here that can be manipulated to hurt people, but I didn’t want to leave this unsaid; the point of this isn’t to attack people who are uneducated, it’s to help educate them.

- Most importantly: Please come into this with a desire to learn

This event won’t be helpful if you’re determined to not learn anything. The purpose of this is to ask questions and learn something. I can’t decide for you that you want to learn. I can’t force you to learn. You have to be willing, or this may seem very pointless to you. I’m not trying to change opinions or beliefs, I’m just trying to spread a little education. If you’re unable to take my words and really think about them, this may not be the space for you, but that’s up to you to decide.

Any topic is okay!

This includes (but isn’t limited to):

- Writing LGBT characters (such as how to incorporate same-sex representation without fetishizing gay people, writing for gender-neutral or non-female readers, making content trans-friendly, etc.)

- What to do when someone you care about comes out

- Coming out

- Transition-related questions (HRT, surgery, binding/tucking, deadnames, etc.)

- Defining terms or labels you’re unfamiliar with

- Working out your feelings about something (such as something you saw in media and need to talk to someone about)

- Various laws (questions about laws may take up to 3 hours to answer, as I would have to research your particular area, depending on the question)

- Literally any other question you can think of that has to do with the LGBT community in any way, these are just some ideas off the top of my head to get y’all started.

TL;DR: This space is open to anyone, any topic, any question just please be open-minded and respectful!

(Just like my first post, I’m including tags for the Pedro fandom because I’ve seen a lot of issues within that community, but this is open to anyone that wants to participate, regardless of what interests you have.)

@phoenixhalliwell

[sporadically-studies]

How to have a Successful Language Exchange

So, you’ve already found your language exchange partner and have a date reserved for them on your calendar. To help your LE go as smoothly as possible, here are a few tips to keep in mind!

(Tips under the cut for length because I’m wordy.) :)

Before

To be honest, there might be a bit of work on the front end, but it really pays off during your LE! Here are some things you want to make sure you have set with your language exchange partner before you chat, especially if it’s going to be your first language exchange with them!

Decide how long you want your LE to be and how you will split the time: Maybe you only have an hour to spare for LE and want an even 30/30 split. Or maybe you want to do one LE session all in one language and your next LE in the other. Chat with your LE partner to figure out what will work out best for y’all!

Decide which language you want to start in: It might sound small, but making sure you know which language you want to start in can help keep your LE running smoothly. Plus, if it’s your first LE, it’ll give you a chance to make sure you have your introduction ready to roll in the right language!

Decide and prep the content of your LE: each person has different goals, so make sure you and your LE partner know what to expect for each language’s portion. Maybe you want a pre-determined topic to talk about while your partner wants to practice reading stories out loud; as long as y’all both know what to expect, you’re golden! On that note, make sure to prepare your own materials. That means prepping vocabulary lists for topics you want to talk about (and maybe sharing them with your LE partner beforehand so they can offer any more natural alternatives/have an idea of what areas to keep their conversation to) or annotating stories that you plan on reading. Remember: your LE partner is not your teacher, so try to be in charge of your materials! If they happen to offer materials/sources for you, great! But don’t expect them to come armed with specific materials for you (unless you’ve talked about it beforehand).

Communicate about how you want to receive feedback/corrections: Do you want them to nitpick your pronunciation and grammar? Or are you more focused on overall flow and don’t want them to point out each little hiccup? And do you want them to correct you as you speak? Or wait until the end of your session to give you feedback? Make sure to be clear about your preferences and to honor your LE partner’s request, too!

During

Now that you’ve done all the front work, it’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labor! Here are a few things to keep in mind during your LE:

Watch your speaking speed: sometimes when we’re excited or nervous, we can talk a little faster than we need to. Try to keep an eye on your own tempo, and let your LE partner know if they start talking too fast, too!

Leave time for thought! This is one of the most important things for a successful LE!! Make sure your LE partner has enough time to think through their answers before you jump in. These lulls might be longer than what you’re used to in a conversation, but nothing is more disheartening then nearly recalling the grammar or vocab you want just to have your partner bulldoze through it and ruin your momentum. Make sure to leave time for your partner to think, and speak up if your partner keeps cutting you off. It’s easy to forget this step, so be patient and communicative!

Keep a positive attitude: whether it’s you or your LE partner, it can feel really embarrassing to make mistakes and perhaps a little daunting to receive feedback in real time. Remember that you and your LE partner are both here to grow, so be gentle with yourselves, make mistakes, and have fun!!

Before you end your LE, set the next date! It makes life so much easier to have a date in mind (even if you have to move it!) rather than trying to hash out your next LE over text/messages. It’s the perfect way to wrap up an LE, too, so make sure to keep your calendar handy!

After

Once your LE is done and you’re basking in the joy of having talked with your LE partner, here are a few last things to think about:

Review notes and comments: don’t be like me and passively sit after your LE! Go through and flesh out any notes you wrote. Oftentimes, I realize that I just left a vague word on my page and have much better luck filling in the information while it’s fresh in my mind rather than coming back a few days later and wondering what in the world I was trying to say. Also, make sure to actively review these notes and words to help solidify everything you learned!

Follow up on any notes/requests from your LE: sometimes your LE partner might ask a question that requires a little more info than what you have on hand, so make sure to follow up on any notes like this after your LE. My personal rule is that if I can’t figure something out in about 30 seconds or so during LE, I table it for later so I don’t break the flow of our conversation!

Prepare any materials for your next LE: I know this goes without saying, but be a good LE partner and make sure you’re ready for your next LE! If things crop up on your end that prevent you from being ready for your next LE, be honest with your LE partner! We’re all human and life gets crazy, so don’t hold yourself to crazy standards!

Miscellaneous

And just because I can’t pass up the opportunity to be verbose, here are a few extra tidbits for ya’.

Be aware of cultural differences: learning a language and learning about culture go hand in hand. Keep in mind that you and your LE partner might sometimes be unintentionally rude, so try not to take things too personally and be respectful when discussing these differences.

Consider an online platform to share materials: depending on your LE style, it might make life much easier if you and your LE partner are both able to access and annotate y’all’s study materials at the same time, so figure out what’ll work best for your and your partner. Personally, I use GoogleDrive, but the world is your oyster!

Give compliments and encouragement: Everyone likes a compliment! Let your LE partner know what they’re doing right and celebrate progress as you see it. It’s super rewarding for both of y’all, so don’t be shy!

And that’s all, folks! If you have questions about LE, feel free to ask me! I might not be the ultimate source, but I’d be happy to talk about my experience so far. Hope this helps quell any nerves you might have, and happy studying!!