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I'm conflicted Jude.
I like Nia because she was mc (ex)best friend and was with them since childhood like a real (doubtful) friend and the aks says that she is really one (she regrets failing them in an ask). But at the same time she doesn't hace faith in your friend even if a killer is not always the most obvious and didn't even write a card for Sally to mc.
Jude you're a gremlin devil for making controversial romancable LI
That's what gets me though apart from your dislike from her what evidence do you have that it's doubtful that Nia was a real friend? Theories are great but to say to the author, character lore that contradicts what I've publicly said rubs me the wrong way. Nia defended them for years, Nia would have a separate private birthday party for MC and her because she didn't want her fake friends to be assholes to MC, Nia got into a fight with Orla for MC. Why is she held to high standards😭
Even when they're at the movies, Imre is defending MC against that guy and Nia helps him. MC canonically stayed friends with her because she was one of the only people MC has loved (to the extent that MC can love anyone). MC doesn't stay around people that don't treat them great (Orla, Percy, Lorcan, their parents). So to believe that they would is a disservice to MC.
The thing is I feel like there's impatience here. In this case I've written down the most obvious reasons why MC would be the killer in Nia's eyes. I've said there is also a hidden powerful reason why Nia believes that I can't say but it will be revealed in episode 12. Does true love (platonic or romantic) require you to be blind? My characters love with their eyes open. Nia never wrote back because as I've said she didn't know if she would ever be safe with MC and thus didn't know if she wanted to continue the friendship.
I'm sorry if this sounds angry I'm actually just trying to explain this the best I can because it's like people don't want to understand her reasons. I've said you don't have to like her but to say outright that she is simply wrong without having the full picture of what went down that July in 1992 is just wanting to be pissed at her for pissed sake. You can hate her for the abandonment but we're all adults here (at least I hope this game is rated 18+) I feel like we have the ability to hate someone and acknowledge they have some points even if the conclusion might be wrong in the end. MC will have the opportunity to be angry at both the abandonment and the accusation of murder but we're not in the game right now we're on the blog.
Anyway I hope it doesn't sound like I'm yelling at people it's just I'm a bit exasperated because I've been trying to explain this for days now 😭😭 much love nonnie I get why many people are so passionate about this💜
#the worst thing is I never wanted her to be controversial since she is the only girl here#unintended publicity however#is kind of nice#Nia#Nia-MC#we wretched creatures
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[Title]: Magical Potency: Improving the Efficacy of Magic
Suggested Reading
Finding Balance Threshold Theory Correspondences Conceptualization Vs. Visualization Visualization: Effective Implementation Basics of Energy Work Basics of Spellcasting Spell Logs Intro to Gnosis Bias in Witchcraft The Subtle Body Axioms of Energy Work The Wellsource Energy Work & Spoon Theory Shadow Work: First Steps Intro to Grounding
Introduction
Magical potency refers to the efficacy and strength with which a spell is executed. This encompasses the accuracy with which the ritual is performed, the precision of the elements involved, and the intensity of focus and energy channeled into the endeavor. In simpler terms, it's about increasing the likelihood of a spell's success, assuming all other requisite and advantageous factors are adequately addressed.
The significance of magical potency cannot be overstated. For practitioners, the objective is not merely to perform rituals but to execute them in a way that yields measurable results. In the same manner that a scientist would aim for exactness and reliability in an experiment, a magical practitioner should aim for a high degree of potency in their workings. Achieving this standard is more than a matter of personal pride or skill; it is about the responsible wielding of one's abilities to bring about change. When potency is elevated, the outcomes are more predictable, thereby enhancing the reliability of the magical practice as a whole. Moreover, it minimizes the risk of unintended consequences, which can range from inconsequential to potentially hazardous.
The Magical Potency of a Vast Majority of Publications, From Tumblr to Books
Candle Magic
Candle magic serves as an excellent entry point for neophytes in magical practice. Its allure lies in its straightforward design and uncomplicated mechanics, making it accessible for beginners. However, the simplicity that makes it attractive also serves as its Achilles heel. A plethora of publications, ranging from social media posts to books, frequently omit crucial details that are indispensable for ensuring the spell's effectiveness. For instance, many resources neglect to delve into the nuances of "intent," often misconstrued as mere desire, even though it is actually one's personal truth. Furthermore, these publications have a tendency to reduce the complexity of the practice to mere lists of correspondences, thereby overlooking the intricate mechanics that govern how a spell functions. This dearth of comprehensive information is a disservice to newcomers who seek a robust understanding of the practice, and it impedes their ability to enhance the efficacy of their spells.
Candles & Twine "Cord Cutting"
Another practice that has gained considerable attention is the use of candles and twine for what is commonly referred to as "cord cutting." On the surface, this practice provides valuable insights into personal relationships. However, a closer examination reveals significant shortcomings. Most notably, the ritual fails to fulfill its purported function of severing emotional or psychic connections—what is commonly referred to as "cord cutting." Instead, it remains an exercise in symbolic action that lacks the mechanics necessary to bring about real change. The information provided in popular publications often restricts itself to symbolic associations, failing to offer a comprehensive guide to the mechanics or other vital elements that could make the practice genuinely effective. Consequently, any results are likely psychological in nature, rather than stemming from genuine magical activity, unless utilized as a tool for divination.
Sigil Magic
Sigil magic enjoys widespread popularity due to its accessibility and the relatively common understanding of its mechanics—albeit mainly within the framework of the psychological model. Its versatility is another strong suit, capable of serving as a supplementary element in various other magical practices. However, it's crucial to scrutinize the limitations of this method. The preponderance of popular sigil crafting techniques derives from, or modifies, the Spare method, which operates solely within the psychological model. In essence, this approach amounts to subconscious suggestion rather than authentic magical action. As a result, practitioners may find themselves constrained by a limited scope of magical efficacy. Furthermore, the lack of accessible information on alternative methodologies exacerbates the problem, leaving practitioners with a narrow, and sometimes misleading, understanding of what sigil magic can achieve. The ubiquity of this practice also means that misinformation and misinterpretation are rife, further muddying the waters for those seeking to deepen their understanding and improve their skills.
Increasing the Magical Potency of Common Practices
Candle Magic
To augment the efficacy of candle magic, a considerate approach is essential. First, it's crucial to identify the traditional symbolic associations of various elements involved in the spell and consider whether your own personal correspondences might be more effective. Next, identifying a central point of focus, or state of gnosis, can serve to concentrate your energy more efficiently. This focus should align with your own deeply-held beliefs or personal truths to maximize the spell's efficacy.
Another vital step involves contemplating the specific means by which the spell will manifest its effects. This doesn't merely involve wishing for a particular outcome, but rather planning out the logical steps and mechanisms that will make it happen. This also involves doing conscious energy work that goes beyond mere mental imagery. Instead, one should focus on manipulating energy via the subtle body and energetic senses, perhaps using breath work, gestures, and/or vocalizations as aids.
Identifying the emotional state that will best serve the spell is another significant aspect. This emotional state should be in harmony with your personal truths and can serve to fuel the spell's energy. Additionally, writing out the specific mechanics of how the spell will function can provide clarity and enhance focus during the actual performance. Memorizing all actions or incantations can also prevent disruptions that might break your concentration during the ritual.
Cord Cutting
For those looking to enhance the efficacy of cord-cutting rituals, a complete overhaul is likely required.
Before the working, contemplate the means through which the spell will manifest its effects as to avoid any negative or harmful outcomes. Utilizing twine and a knife—or scissors, for those concerned about safety—can create a strong symbolic action that aids the spell. It's also beneficial to use correspondences, either mental or physical, that are directly connected to the target individuals. This requires either a strong personal knowledge of the individuals involved or a potent taglock to symbolize them.
Conscious energy work is again advisable, and this should be done without relying solely on mental imagery. Maintaining a state of focus, or gnosis, throughout the entire working is essential. To deepen your understanding and improve the potency of the ritual, you might also study various philosophies or religious teachings concerning the concept of fate or destiny.
Identifying an emotional state that aligns with your personal truth can also serve to fuel the energy of the ritual. Once the primary cord-cutting action has been performed, the common chords and candles approach can be employed as a form of divination to gauge the likely effectiveness and manifestation of the spell.
Sigil Magic
For those looking to venture beyond the well-trodden path of the psychological model in sigil magic, a multitude of avenues are worth exploring. To start, one should consider researching or contemplating how sigils could function within different paradigms or frameworks. This might involve developing an entirely new method of sigil crafting that deviates from the commonly used Spare method.
Contemplating the mechanics of how a non-psychological sigil could function is equally important. This might involve studying different cultural practices or philosophies to gain new perspectives. Researching various methods of charging and activating a sigil can also yield valuable insights. Different modalities might be more effective depending on the specific nature of the application in which the sigil will be used.
When incorporating a sigil into another spell, it's crucial to think critically about how the two will interact and complement each other. Drawing the sigil while in a state of deep focus, or gnosis, can enhance its accuracy, If this state is backed by strong emotional energy that aligns with your personal truths, its momentum will increase. The precision of a sigil can also be highly increased by performing energy work consciously while drawing the sigil. Finally, selecting a method of charging and activation that complements both your own capabilities and the specific nature of the working can serve to greatly enhance the overall potency of the spell.
General Practices and Methods to Improve Magical Potency
Research, Study, Experimentation, and Recording
The cornerstone of enhancing magical potency lies in a rigorous approach that involves research, study, experimentation, and detailed recording. When conducting research, it's imperative to look beyond sources that merely resonate with you on a personal level; instead, aim for a diverse array of reputable sources to avoid cognitive bias. Subsequently, study these materials assiduously, revisiting them often to consider ways you might expand or refine the practices described.
The use of experimentation, formulating and documenting predictions about how a spell will manifest is invaluable. These predictions should be dated and revisited to assess the spell's effectiveness. Sharing these predictions with other practitioners can serve as a check against confirmation bias. Conducting low-stakes spells can also serve as a useful methodological testbed, helping you refine your approach based on outcomes.
Maintaining a log of your spells is an essential practice. This archival process will facilitate a retrospective analysis, enabling you to discern which variables contributed to or hindered a spell's effectiveness.
Being Critical
Critical thinking should permeate your magical practice, although it's best applied either before or after a working, not during, so as not to disrupt your focus. Discernment in planning a working can preemptively address potential issues. After the spell's completion, seek feedback from anyone aware of the working but not of its projected outcomes. In your analysis, consider mundane factors that could have influenced the result, recognizing that magical outcomes often manifest through seemingly ordinary means. Keep a record of both successes and failures, and understand that setbacks are educational opportunities, not indicators of personal inadequacy.
Helpful Practices
Regular meditation can serve as a foundational practice for enhancing focus and understanding your inner landscape. Additionally, action flow states can be achieved through rhythmic, lyric-free music coupled with physical activities in sync with the beat. This can facilitate a trance-like state beneficial for magical work. Shadow work, while in no way is necessary, can help you uncover deeply rooted personal truths, while the development of personal symbolic associations can facilitate more potent states of focused awareness.
Energy Work
Contrary to popular misconceptions, energy work is neither a form of mental imagery nor a misapplied concept often referred to as "intent." It involves a nuanced understanding of one's subtle body and its energy centers. Identifying your Wellsource—the origin point of your energy—can further deepen your practice. Mastering the art of manipulating this energy effectively can be a powerful tool in improving magical potency.
Appropriation and Decolonization
It's crucial to recognize the importance of decolonizing one's magical practice. This entails a conscious effort to eschew cultural appropriation and to respect the origins and contexts of various magical systems. While learning from diverse traditions can enrich your practice, it should never involve taking elements out of their cultural context for personal use without proper understanding and initiation. Decolonizing your magical practice is a significant endeavor that requires sustained commitment, self-awareness, and active engagement. Here are some steps to help you in this important journey:
Educate Yourself: The first step in decolonizing your practice is to become knowledgeable about the histories, cultures, and traditions from which various magical practices originate. This will help you understand the contexts in which these practices were developed and how they have been affected by colonization.
Acknowledge Origins: Always give credit to the cultures, traditions, and communities from which certain practices and tools originate. This is not only a matter of respect but also a way to counteract the erasure that often occurs when practices are appropriated.
Assess Your Sources: Evaluate the materials you are using to learn about magical practices. Are they written or produced by individuals from within the tradition? Do they provide historical and cultural context? Are they respectful and do they avoid exoticizing or commodifying the practices they describe?
Reflect on Motivations and Entitlement: Examine your reasons for incorporating specific practices or tools into your own practice. Are you doing it because it's "trendy" or because you feel entitled to pick and choose from other cultures? Such motivations can be indicative of a colonizer mindset.
Avoid Cultural Cherry-Picking: Engaging deeply with another culture's practice means more than just adopting its magical or spiritual elements. It involves an understanding and respect for the culture as a whole, including its history, struggles, and contributions.
Engage in Dialogue: If you are interested in a practice that originates from a culture different from your own, try to engage in a respectful dialogue with individuals who belong to that culture. Seek their perspectives and listen to their experiences, and ask for their insights into ethical engagement with their traditions.
Prioritize Marginalized Voices: Elevate the voices and teachings of individuals from marginalized communities who are sharing their own traditions. Their perspectives are often sidelined but are crucial for a genuine understanding of these practices.
Financial Support: Whenever possible, support practitioners from the culture of interest by paying for their services, buying their products, or donating to causes they recommend. Economic empowerment is a form of reparative justice.
Revise and Reassess Continually: Decolonization is not a one-time action but an ongoing process. Keep updating your practices as you gain more knowledge and understanding. This may mean abandoning practices or tools that you now recognize as inappropriate for you to use.
Be Accountable: If you make a mistake—and most people do when they are learning—own it. Apologize, learn from it, and make amends if possible. Then take steps to ensure you do not repeat the same mistake.
Advocate and Educate: Use your platform, however big or small, to educate others about the importance of decolonizing magical practices. Share resources, engage in conversations, and challenge instances of appropriation you encounter.
Practice Humility: Recognize that the process of decolonization involves continual learning and that you won't have all the answers. Be open to criticism and willing to change your viewpoints and practices accordingly.
How Appropriation Negatively Affects Magical Potency
The act of appropriation in magical practices not only raises ethical concerns but also has deleterious effects on the potency of the rituals involved. One of the most glaring issues arises from the isolation of a practice from its original cultural context. Traditions, rites, and spells often have deeply ingrained cultural meanings and histories. When extracted from their native milieu, these practices lose the richness and nuance that contribute to their efficacy. The symbols, words, and actions employed in a ritual are often deeply tied to the specific geography, language, and folklore of its origin. Stripping away this context can dilute the ritual's power, rendering it a mere simulacrum of its original form.
Another significant concern pertains to the connections with spirits and ancestors that are inherent in many magical systems. These relationships are often built over generations and are rooted in specific cultural narratives, myths, and practices. When one appropriates these systems without a genuine link to the cultural lineage, the connection to these spirits and ancestors becomes tenuous at best. In some cases, this could even be seen as a form of spiritual trespassing, which not only questions the ethical standing of the practitioner but also diminishes the effectiveness of the ritual. These ancestral and spiritual links act as conduits for magical energy, and without them, the practice becomes hollow.
Lastly, the issue of alignment with one's personal truth cannot be ignored. Each individual has a unique set of beliefs, experiences, and perspectives that inform their magical practice. When one adopts practices from another culture without proper understanding or respect, there is a high likelihood that these borrowed elements will not align well with one's personal truths. This dissonance can create an internal discord, which in turn weakens the potency of the magical working. A harmonious alignment with one's core beliefs and experiences often serves as the bedrock upon which effective magical practice is built.
Implementation of the Concepts Discussed
The efficacy of magical practices can be significantly bolstered by adeptly incorporating cognitive techniques related to memory and repetition. One such method involves capitalizing on short-term memory. After assimilating beneficial information, executing a straightforward magical working immediately afterward can aid in embedding the newly acquired knowledge. This rapid recall and application essentially serve as the anchoring of the information more firmly by immediate utilization. This technique leverages the brain's natural propensity for retaining recently processed information and puts it to practical use, thus enhancing the likelihood of a successful magical outcome.
Subconscious memory plays a similarly pivotal role in the refinement of magical practices. The consistent and repeated consumption of relevant information can precipitate a subconscious framework that thereafter influences your methodologies. Over time, this reservoir of deeply ingrained knowledge becomes an almost instinctive guide during magical workings. The more frequently you engage with this material, the more it seeps into your subconscious, ultimately serving as an internal compass that steers your practices toward greater potency. Hence, the diligent study of reputable materials can lay the groundwork for a more effective and nuanced magical practice.
Repetition, both cognitive and practical, stands as another invaluable tool in solidifying one's magical practices. Repetitive engagement with the material, whether it's through written summaries, vocal articulation, or mental rehearsal, can fortify the neural pathways associated with that specific information. Furthermore, the regular enactment of magical workings that incorporate these concepts can engender a form of habituation. These practices, through repetition, become ingrained behaviors, thereby increasing the ease and fluidity with which they can be executed. This habitual nature, in turn, contributes to an overall enhancement of magical potency.
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#witchcraft#beginner witch#energy work#baby witch#witchcraft resources#witchcraft 101#gspell#informational post
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A Helping Hand
This was a quick scenario that I couldn't get out of my head and for the life of me, it had me squirming in my chair at work. Not edited, forgive the sloppiness.
Warnings: fingering, f!oral, smut, anal (pt3), implied exhibitionist (pt3), dubcon at the beginning of part 3, overstimulation, vibrator, it was all over the place. Sorry if I missed anything.
MDNI! - respectfully, GO AWAY!
Scenario:
Being a member of a gang was already thrilling enough with the constant fights and feisty members. The bond between you and them was on a platonic level, though you’ve never dared cross the line with them, subtle touches and glances had your heart racing. You’d still seek adrenaline to keep you entertained every now and then. Exploring new things was nothing new, you’d enjoy trying fun little things in public and basked at the risk of getting caught. Earlier that day, you decided to walk around with a wireless vibrator inside you. You kept toggling with the remote between the low and medium settings, you had no intention of keeping it in all day until you realized that it was pushed a little too far up. Your fingers couldn’t reach it and when trying to shut it off - the button got stuck, ultimately breaking the controller and making the setting go a little higher. An emergency meeting didn’t give you time to go home and change, when you went to a restroom to try and get the toy out, you couldn't reach it. You had no choice but to attend the meeting in a fucked up state. That was the thing though, no one ever caught on to your little lewd actions but this time, it didn’t go as planned. During the meeting, they noticed how you kept fidgeting, kept your distance and refused to sit down. Your face was dusted in pink and your eyes were glossy - almost as if you were dazed or high. After the meeting, you were pulled aside and confronted.
1. Who takes you home and punishes you? Draken, Mitsuya, Baji, Kazutora, Smiley, Sanzu, Kokonoi, Mochi, Mucho, Rindou, Shion
“Oi…are you not feeling well?” He asks and places his hand on your forehead to check for a fever. He could hear your unsteady breathing and the tremble on lip got him on high alert. It was mortifying to have your captain/teammate potentially discover the real reason you’re feeling faint. The softest whimper and unintended puppy eyes had him worried for you. Without hesitating, he swung you over his shoulder and left the meeting area. The others were concerned that something may have happened or that you fell ill but did not follow unless instructed.
He took you home and could feel how your body continued to shiver and your shortness of breath - they had him on edge. Laying you down in your bed, he was about to dash out of the room to get some medicine but you stopped him by snatching his arm. “Wait…it’s not what you think.” You say almost in tears. “You’re in pain, don’t try to tough it out!” He exclaims and snatches his arm away to head to the doorway. However, he freezes the moment he hears you moan out his name. You didn’t mean to but just as you called out his name - your climax hit you like a truck.
Turning around to face you, he sees you clenching the sheets with your back arched and legs spread. Was he imagining things or did you actually call out to him in a rather lewd way? “...(Y/N)?” He barely manages to say before your 2nd orgasm washes over you. You're a moaning and panting mess. Oh that look, he’s seen it various times in porno videos - a lump began to form in his throat as he struggled to say something. At this point, you’re moaning your sentences to him and reaching for him. “Oh god! Help me get it out!” He rushes over and begins to unbuckle your pants, pulling them down and sees the wet patch in the pantyline.
His heart is pounding out of his chest, you were his friend and teammate, and yet he’s stripping you as if he’s your lover. “I-It’s stuck! The vibrator…take it out! Take it out! OH FUCK!” Your moans were like a call of the night to him, he saw your chest heaving and your slick beginning to seep through the fabric of your panties. He begins to pull your pantyline to the side and couldn’t help but get hard at seeing your bare pussy coated in your juices. “Fuck (Y/N)...” He exhales a shaky breath and slowly slides his fingers between your folds, gathering the slick to coat his fingers. The sensations were embarrassing but your desperation made you not give a shit about who was touching and seeing you. You just wanted this thing out of you.
The sweetest moan dripped from your lips like honey along with his name when he prodded your core. He could feel the vibrations from your toy and his breath hitched at your warmth. “Hurry! Please, I’m about to cum!” You cry and beg him as your hips begin to move on their own. The sensation of his fingers stretching you out was driving you wild. He dove deeper into your cunt and was purposefully touching spots inside your walls to get you to react. He never knew that he’d fall in love with the sound of his name coming from your lips. “Almost got it…” He pretended to struggle.
The third orgasm was clawing its way out. He threw you over the edge when his thumb began to circle your clit. “What are you-ah! Fuck fuck fuck!” You scream and throw your head back in ecstasy as he ripped the third orgasm from you. He had front row seats to see your squirt all over his fingers and wrist. With your whole body twitching and trembling, he couldn’t help but bask at seeing you at this mercy. The mischievous grin that spread across his lips made you clench around his fingers. “Ngh…please, I’m begging you…” You’re out of breath, sweating and a beautiful mess. “Take this as punishment for doing this at a meeting…though I’m sure someone else would have loved to punish you, I’ll just have to take care of you myself.” He says and lowers his head between your thighs.
With one long swipe of his tongue, you felt your surroundings melt and your voice kept calling out to him. Your hands gripped his tresses and tried to pry him off but his hot tongue felt too good to stop. Somewhere somehow he ended up stripping you bare and oh how your body had him in a trance. Those perfect tits he’s only ever dreamed of putting in his mouth or play with, they were now begging to be touched. His touch was tender on your breasts. Placing open mouth kisses and gentle pinches, seeing you react to his every move had him in the clouds. “Who would have known that our little princess was…well, a perfect little slut.” His tone of voice made a chill run down your spine, you’ve never seen him like this before. Let alone even heard anything about this type of behavior from him. He wouldn’t, would he? Would he dare to cross the line between friend and lover? It’s a little too late for that. Those lines were blurred the moment you screamed his name.
The entire night he had you ruining the bed sheets and screaming until your throat was sore. His constant teasing, his touches, the first time kissing him - it all felt so surreal. To think that your teammate would have ulterior motives, well to be fair they just happened to blossom in the midst of your risqué action.
Finally, after an eternity he pulled out the still vibrating toy. You were left a complete mess, barely moving with your bare chest heaving and drool dripping from the corner of your mouth. He examines it and thinks to himself, This little thing was driving you insane? Twisting the toy, he was able to open it and take out the batteries, making it stop. Tossing it aside, he looked down at you, devouring your naked form and positioned himself to give you something more to scream about.
2. Who needs it to be spelled out for them? Mikey, Takemichi, Chifuyu, Angry, Inui, Shinichiro, Hakkai, Kakucho
“(Y/N), you ok? You don’t look so good?” He asks with a concerned look on his face. You nod weakly and begin to walk away, however, your knees give out and he catches you. The way your body was trembling, he was afraid that you were probably catching a cold or the flu. “I’m taking her home, she’s not feeling so well.” You try to explain that you’re ok but he wasn’t having it. The others remained quiet, it’s like they knew something else was up but only chuckled and shook their heads at the clueless man taking you home.
Barely managing to get through the front door and into the living room, he sits you down on the couch and runs to your kitchen to look for medicine. You were left panting and clutching the couch pillows for stability, desperately holding back. It was becoming too much, your body felt hot and your vision was beginning to go white. You bite your hand to keep from making too much noise, the pent up orgasm had you sliding down to the floor.
When he comes back with a glass of water and medicine in hand, he sees you doubled over on the floor with tears in your eyes. “Oi! What’s wrong? Should I take you to a hospital?!” He puts the items in his hands on the coffee table and rushes to your side. Only when he places a hand on your thigh, he feels a slight vibrating sensation and panics. “What’s going on?! Are you having a seizure?” He tries to get you to sit up straight but you refuse to move to avoid looking him in the eyes. “N-Ngh…No hospital…” You barely manage to say between a moan. This poor soul thought you were groaning from being in pain. The sensation of a second orgasm was creeping up on you, making your breathing unsteady and your moans get a little louder. He thought you were going to die. He managed to roll you over but the moment he did, you moaned his name and buried your face into his chest. Your hands were gripping his shirt for dear life with shaky hands.
“I’m here, I’m here - but how can I help you if you don’t tell me what's wrong?!” He exclaims and worries that you might not live to see tomorrow if he doesn’t get help. Looking up at him, your face was dusted in pink and you had tears streaming down your face. The look of innocence and embarrassment only made his heart flutter, were you actually ok? “I…I need help.” You mutter and place your hand on your womb. He was slightly confused now - “Are you cramping or something? I don’t think I can help you with that.” He says and looks away embarrassed that he was panicking over you getting your period. You huff and take his hand, placing it lower and closer between your thighs. “No… the v-vibrator. It’s…it’s stuck…” He couldn’t comprehend what the hell you were talking about until he felt the vibrations a little better.
His face went as red as a tomato when he realized what you were referring to. “O-Oh… you mean you…” He feels his heart rate spike when you whimper and moan. Saying his name while you’re in this state immediately made a tent in his trousers. Oh shit. He thinks to himself as he tries to hide it. “Your fingers are - ah! Oh god… they’re longer than mine.” You whine, leaning him back on the couch and lay back on his chest. His brain short circuited, was he going to have to finger you to get the toy out? Indeed he does.
Placing yourself between his legs, you could feel the raging hard on he had. You were feeling faint again, this was your teammate, your friend but you had no one else to turn to and you don’t think you’d last until the battery ran out. There was no way! Pulling your pants and panties down, you remove them completely - exposing your bare cunt for him. You felt his member twitch and throb on your lower back. He was in shock and could only pant at the site below him. “Please, you need to get it out!” You cry out to him and reach for his hand. His hand was shaking and you felt like this was a really bad idea, but you were desperate. Calling his name, he snapped out of his daze. “I’ve never done this before.” He says and lets you guide his hand between your folds. “I won’t hurt you will I?” He was worried that his fingers were too long or too thick. Shaking your head no, you reassured him that he wasn’t going to hurt you.
When his fingers prodded your entrance, you let out a squeak and instinctively moved your hips into him. Feeling how your body grinded against his cock made him let out a small moan. This was wrong, this was so wrong but you were begging him for help. “Deeper…” You simply say as you try to bite back another moan. He follows your instructions and slowly slides his fingers inside you. The warmth of your walls and feeling of your slick coating his fingers - he thought he was going to bust at any moment. “Oh fuck…fuck, hurry up! I’m so close…” You moan out loud and begin to grind your hips into his fingers. His fingers curl as he tries searching for the toy and ends up hitting that spongy spot that makes you see stars. Throwing your head back into his shoulders, you scream his name and grind against his member, bringing him to the edge of insanity.
He stopped searching when he felt you squirt all over his fingers, and he pulled his fingers out to see that they were covered in your sheen juices. Temptation was eating away at him, he didn’t know whether to continue efforts or just make you cum again. Panting and out breath, you beg him to take it out. “Ngh…please!” Without hesitation, he gripped your hips and slid his fingers inside you. Going deeper and making your back arch, he had you at his mercy. You could hear him panting and felt his member throbbing - he was having a harder time than you were.
Finally, he managed to pull it out and you both remained on the floor, panting and a little embarrassed. Looking up at him, you noticed how his lips parted and how enticing they were. When he looked down at you, he saw you staring at him in a daze. “(Y/N)...” He pants and you bite your lip at the sound of his voice. All other sounds in the room faded and only the pounding of your hearts could be heard. Slowly, you both closed the distance and ever so gently brushed your lips against his - this moment was intimate, tender and full of yearning. When he caved and kissed you, it was innocent - could this be his first kiss? Who knows, at this point in time nothing else mattered, he fingered a woman for the first time and perhaps he might just get laid for the first time.
3. Who punishes you in front of everyone? Izana, Ran, South, Taiju, Hanma
“You seem to be lost in the clouds, woman.” He sneers. Panic begins to take over as you notice that he’s getting closer. If he finds out he will never let you live it down. “Nn-no, what are you t-talking about?” You stutter on your own words and avoid eye contact with him. “Is that so?” He hums and takes your hand, leading you towards a ledge where you and him can sit down. Crap, you didn’t want to sit down or else the vibrations could be heard against the hard surface. “The meeting is over, may I be excused?” You say nervously and almost pant your words. His ears perked up at hearing you panic. “No, take a seat - I need to talk to you.” He grins and forces you to sit.
The way you’re shifting and leaning back against the wall, he could see that whatever you had was driving mad. When he sat next to you, you scooted away a little but his immediate reaction was to pull you in close by the hip. Opps…when he did, you let out a moan and he felt the faint vibrations. “Oh? Don’t tell me…” He says and cups your chin, making you face him. Your teary eyes and pink dusted face made him bear a toothy grin. One that you wished you didn’t cause. “Wait…Please, it’s not what you think. I-I didn’t mean to come to the meeting like this.” You say and tremble under his searing gaze. Your quivering lip only further accelerated the malice growing inside him. “…did you want to get caught? Hmm?” He whispers heavily in your ear. He was sending shivers down your spine with his sardonic tone. You shake your head no and beg him to let you go home. He quickly placed you on his lap with your back against his chest. Nothing could have prepared you for the next moment.
The others were now staring and wondering what kind of trouble you got yourself into if you’re being lectured or toyed with by him. He motioned for one of his subordinates to come closer and gave him a single order. They all paused for a moment, thinking that he wasn’t serious. But the fire in his eyes made the subordinate quickly follow his instructions. With trembling hands the poor male quickly unbuttoned and unzipped your pants. In an instant you were pantless. “What are you doing?! Stop!” You yell but your mouth is quickly covered by your teammate’s/captain's hand. “You’re going to show everyone why you were having a hard time focusing on the meeting.” His voice was loud enough for all other members to hear. Your flushed face and tear stained cheeks only made him more merciless. His thick member was now throbbing against your ass. He was going to lay you bare in front of everyone.
Having him hold your legs apart for everyone to see the shameful mess you made of yourself - it was mortifying but you couldn’t help but enjoy the excitement of being seen. All member’s eyes were on you and your slick coated cunt. “Now everyone here knows how much of a filthy little slut you are…” He coos in your ear and hooks one arm under your thigh, letting the other leg drop and he plunges two thick fingers in your core. Your lewd moan had others palming themselves, they never thought you would be this bold and have a sex toy inside you during a meeting. Of course with your luck, you got caught by one of the worst people in the gang.
“Are you really that desperate for something between your legs that you resorted to this?” He chuckles as you try to close your legs. His strength made it almost impossible to even budge. “Enough! Please…I’m gonna-” You begin to beg but he cuts you off with a laugh and sinks his fingers in deeper. The way his fingers are thrusting inside you had you seeing the fucking aurora borealis lights. The lewd sounds of your own juices could be heard as your orgasm was forced out of you. You felt your eyes roll back into your skull when he continued his motions, he was going to make you come undone again. “W-Wait! I just came! Stop!” You cry and writhe in his lap. Your hand tried to stop him but you had little to no strength left. The tingling in your spine made your back arch and oh how he made a mess out of you.
“If you wanted pleasure…you could have just asked, (Y/N).” He teases and nibbles on your ear. You bite back a moan but he grips your jaw and forces you into a sloppy kiss. All reasoning went out the window. Your friend, your teammate/captain crossed the line and yet you wanted him to treat you a rougher. Some members had to excuse themselves to either relieve the tension in their trousers or change their trousers, they busted when your pretty pussy squirted and clenched around nothing.
“Fuck…fuck…I’m begging you…ngh! Take it out, I c-can’t reach it.” You whimper and bite his lip. Oh? That’s why she showed up like she did, it’s in too deep? He thinks to himself and hooks one arm under both your thighs. Lifting you he manages to release his throbbing cock and places it right at the entrance of your tight ring. The hot tip touching your back entrance made you squeak in surprise and panic. There was no way you were ready for this. For him to fuck you from behind when there is a vibrator inside your sopping cunt while everyone watches, just the thought made your core throb and clench around the toy.
With the amount of slick dripping from you, he didn’t need much to prepare - he rubbed his tip against you to gather enough for him to slide into you. When his tipped prodded you, you thought you were going to die. It was so thick, it felt like you were going to tear. “It’s too big! Fuck fuck!” You moan and dig your nails into his thigh. His husky moan echoed in your ear and you felt him go in inch by inch. “See darlin’...you want me just as much as I do. You're taking me so well.” He pants, lowering you into him and thrusts the last remaining inches inside you. Taking a moment to adjust to his length, he let your legs rest on his thighs - it gave you the opportunity to move at your own pace. To show you off like this, he wanted everyone to know that you now belonged to him. They will never get the chance to see you like this again. Besides, who would be able to fill you up like him? No one.
All the other remaining men were stroking themselves over the clothes, they were enjoying the show and couldn’t help but think of how you would feel on their cocks. The combination of him filling you up, the vibrator and the lewd scene that unfolded in front of their eyes - it made your hips move. “That’s my good girl... ” He moans and places his hands on your hips, guiding you and keeping you steady. You swore you could feel him in your throat, his length had you feeling more sensations than ever before. Being dazed and spell bound by him - he knew that you'd come back more. You had, there was no way anyone else would satisfy you.
Everything was going so fast, that by the time you realized you were bouncing on his cock - you saw that the others had their cocks in their hands. They were jacking off to seeing you get fucked and oh the audience loved every second of it. Each time his cock hit the very edge, you felt the vibratory push against your golden spot and he noticed it. You were already tightly squeezing his cock but the more you got closer to infinity, the more he thought it was going to lose it. “I’m cumming, I’m cumming!” You cry out and throw your head back into his shoulder as your body twitches and releases your essence. He too came undone and filled you to the brim. His thick seed dripped down and hit the ground with a loud thud. He thought you were squeezing too hard still when he realized that the vibrator was still inside you. "Almost forgot about this…" He chuckles and removes it, tossing it into the crowd of men who were trying their hardest to clean up the mess they made.
To think that they had a filthy little minx amongst them, too bad they didn’t get to you sooner.
END
#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers smut#tokyorevengers#tr smut#mini scenarios#mikey smut#sano manjiro#sano manijro smut#draken#draken smut#ken ryuguji#mitsuya takashi#mitsuya#mitsuya takashi smut#baji#baji keisuke#baji smut#baji keisuke smut#chifuyu#chifuyu matsuno#chifuyu smut#takemichi#takemichi hanagaki#takemichi smut#kazutora#kazutora hanemiya#kazutora smut#smiley smut#nahoya kawata#nahoya
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Public Demo Update 7/30/2024
The public demo has been updated. Play the updated demo here!
Keep reading for a brief list of changes, which can also be found here.
Another chunk of Chapter 2 has been added! This update continues into the next part of Chapter 2 and allows you to select one of three branches for dealing with the crisis ahead. The public demo currently only includes the "Team Ship" branch—when prompted, select to stay on the ship with Path. The other branches are incomplete and will be added in future updates once they are finished.
Any new variables added are contained to the updated content; old saves still worked when I tested my own. However, if you run into any issues or errors, please try replicating the error on a brand new save first before reporting it. Thank you!
You'll know you have reached the end of the current demo when you see a message that states so. If you do not get this message, make sure you have chosen the correct branch (the other two are marked as incomplete). If you still don't make it to the end-of-demo message, you've encountered an unintended error and can report it using the form within the game.
Bullet-point breakdown:
Team Ship branch of Chapter 2 has been added
Includes multiple combinations for helping Path aboard the ship.
Past choices influence some of the outcomes.
Choices within the new section will influence future outcomes.
Minor spelling, grammar, and bug fixes.
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[18.18] hongjoong × reader (m)
⇀ you wanted the best for your boyfriend on his birthday. thank god you know how
⇁ happy birthday captain!
genre : smut
warning : mdni explicit smut, dirty talk, unprotected sex (no latex no go), public sex, sex toy (butt plug), mention of multiple sex scenes (?)
wc : 1.4k
For Hongjoong's birthday, you had planned the perfect evening for him, something low-key but still fancy someplace subtle but trendy. You had nailed Hongjoong's birthday and you were so proud of yourself and you told people about it.
Which was why it was weird that you were nowhere to be seen.
People wanted to compliment you and wish Hongjoong a happy birthday and it had been a while since you were gone. Hongjoong was still around and he was last seen talking to Yunho before disappearing.
Little did they know, Hongjoong had made you slip away to rendezvous in the small single bathroom.
The event going on outside with people dressing to the 9 did not reflect the filth Hongjoong was doing to you.
"That's it," he smirked down at you, hand carelessly threading through your hair before gripping some harshly, causing you to choke on Hongjoong's cock that he shoved down your throat. "You love my cock, don't you, baby?" Looking up from your lashes, you could only let out a muffled moan as an answer. The sound tickled Hongjoong's ears just right and with the desire of wanting to hear more of it, he held your head in its place by your hair while thrusting his hips so far that his pubic bone made contact with your nose. "This might be the best birthday yet, baby, thank you so much. Can you show me my present again?"
Detaching your mouth from his cock, you wiped your drool with the back of your hand before standing up, letting your dress unbunch from your hips which was meaningless because when you turned around, you bent over and flipped your skirt up your ass anyway. Hongjoong's tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, staring at your skimpy, frilly white underwear with a heart cutout that revealed your asscheeks and puckered hole with a red jewel on the buttplug nestled securely. The cherry on top (pun unintended) for Hongjoong however was the word 'Property of Kim Hongjoong' just underneath the band.
"Beautiful," he exhaled shakily before grabbing you by the waist and pulling the underwear down to your knees and shoved his hard-on without warning. Your body reeled forward from the impact, and your cheek and chest were forcefully pressed onto the cool surface of the door. You didn't even have the time to yelp because everything happened out of the blue and all at once. Though you know perfectly well how rough of a lover Hongjoong is, it always made you feel overwhelmed in the best way ever. It was indescribable and it always left you breathless because you knew that the underlying reason to his rather harsh treatment was his absolute possessiveness of you and you loved it. It was the foundation of your birthday present which was basically yourself. It wasn't like you weren't his before but to have his name on you, practically branded on his birthday made him felt somewhat powerful.
"You're the best, you know that?" Hongjoong attached his lips on your neck and began peppering kisses all over your warm skin, trying to hold himself back from actually giving you hickeys no matter how much he wanted to argue that he should be able to do whatever he wanted on his birthday. "Tell me you're mine," he whimpered right into your ear, sending shivers down your spine, "F-fuck," you stuttered, trying to push yourself off the door so your cheek wouldn't be smushed as it prevented you from talking clearly but it was hard because Hongjoong had his chest on your back, "I'm yours Hongjoong, fuck! I'm your birthday present, did you not see my panties? I'm your property, I'm yours to use however and wherever you want me. Fuck, fuck, fuck, show me how much I'm yours!" your hand flew to your mouth to silent your pathetic voice because there were still people on the other side of the door. You were sure the door was shaking along with the movements from both of your bodies, but you couldn't care less. Not when Hongjoong's cock was rearranging your guts and reaching places and sending you shockwaves of pleasure. Let the people outside hear how much Hongjoong was enjoying his birthday present.
If the pleasure was amazing for you, it was overwhelmingly perfect for Hongjoong because not only did you manage to get him the perfect gift, but you had managed to somehow set the ambience that enhanced his libido. If that was even possible. The people he loves, the panties, the birthday event, the butt plug, the way you made him the king of the day, the risky bathroom sex. The only thing better is if he had a ring for you. Cock or wedding, either or both, he wouldn't complain.
Secretly, Hongjoong was hoping that your voice could still be heard past the hustle and bustle of people outside but he'd settle from people freaking over the shaking door. The smirk on his face could not be held back at the thought of people thinking that there was an earthquake just from the rattle of the hinges. It was an over-exaggeration but he deserved to be cocky considering he single-handedly fucked you hard enough that your eyes rolled back, head lolled to his shoulder and spit dribbled down the side of your chin. HE had to take a picture of your face somehow.
"I'm going to stuff you and you better keep them all in because I will check your filthy cunt when we get home, you hear me? I fucked you this morning, I fucked you during my birthday party, and I will fuck you tonight and you only get to cum once the clock strikes 12.01 because you made sure that today is my day," he chuckled darkly. This was why you love sex with Hongjoong because he could be so romantically mean, it made you crave more. It made you crave his approval. So you nodded frantically, whispering promises that you won't cum and you will keep his cum in your cunt for safekeeping until when you two get home. Your cunt clenched at the way Hongjoong was speaking to you and Hongjoong felt his chest tightened, liking how your walls fluttered around him.
The promise of Hongjoong filling you up hung in the air together with pornographic sounds made by your and his vocal cords and the sloppiness of your cunt being abused by his hard dick. The tip continuously kissed your cervix and his length rubbed your gummy walls just right that you hated yourself for promising to not cum. You knew that if he didn't cum soon, you'd break your promise and risk being punished by Hongjoong. Which was fine because it would ultimately lead to your pussy being stuffed until it leaked and your body used like a sex toy but you didn't want to anger him.
Thankfully, Hongjoong's body stiffened, the muscles of his thighs tensed up and his body hunched over yours as he filled your cunt with his warm release. It took everything in your to not cum with him, your will solidified with the help of your fists that balled on the door and your brain continuously reminding yourself that something better will come was waiting by the end of the day. It didn't help that Hongjoong pulled his cock absurdly slow, enjoying every single tight graze and drops of semen running down your cunt in beads, trying his best not to let too much out.
You both were simply enjoying yourselves as your breaths slowed down, even syncing. Sex was one thing and the aftercare is a whole other story. The harshness during sex was balanced by soft, gentle, and slow grazes and touches during aftercare when he helped clean you up, wanting to help you look presentable with just a hint of 'my boyfriend snapped my spine in twain'.
The silence was cut by awkward knocks on the door that made you yelp out of surprise and body slamming onto Hongjoong's which thankfully he held so as to not let you two fall.
"I'm sorry to bother you two," Mingi awkwardly cleared his throat from the other side of the door, "B-but people were asking about the cake and San is trying to hold Wooyoung from actually stealing the damn thing," he said quickly, followed by rushed steps quickly sounding further.
You were embarrassed beyond belief but the birthday boy was just grinning. Being caught by his friend fucking his girlfriend might be a nightmare for some people. But some people aren't Kim Hongjoong.
network :
@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet
taglist :
@kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @thesolarplanetarysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoonjunshi @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17 @kpoplover718 @haatohwa @x-bluee @erinaimeexx @blackb3ll @mingiholic @angelicyeo @vampcharxter @meowmeowminnie @marvelous-llama @kawennote09 @hongjoong-lovebot @stopeatread @spooo00oky @jwnghyuns @cutie-wooyo @asjkdk @shinotani @aestheticsluut @mingiberrii
@chloepurpy
#cultofdionysusnet#sandsofirenet#kflixnet#ateez#ateez scenarios#ateez scenario#ateez imagines#ateez imagine#ateez smut#ateez timestamps#ateez fanfic#kpop#kpop scenario#kpop scenarios#kpop imagine#kpop imagines#kpop smut#kpop timestamps#kpop fanfic#hongjoong#kim hongjoong#ateez hongjoong#hongjoong smut#hongjoong scenarios#hongjoong imagines#hongjoong x reader#smt scenarios#smt imagine#smt smut#smt timestamp
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TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of death, violence, and self-harm
CASE STUDY 5: The Death of Liam Payne
One Direction was the American heartthrob boy band that delivered the hits that became the soundtrack of many of our adolescent years. Whether you loved them or not, their influence on music, band culture, and pop culture as a whole is undeniable. Though Liam Payne may not have always been the most prominent face of the group, his death is undeniably tragic—but not without deeper context.
disclaimer: the following birth chart is not 100% accurate.
Payne’s 9th house Chiron in Leo points to challenges with self-expression, especially in areas tied to education, learning, and exploring the world. The placement suggests that seeking knowledge and expanding his worldview may have been accompanied by feelings of inadequacy or wounds related to expressing his authentic self. With Gemini ruling the 8th house, there’s a potential indication of death related to lung issues, smoking, or asphyxiation.
Since he was in an 8th House profection year, these themes were likely emphasized, placing matters of shared resources, transformations, and even mortality at the forefront of his life. It seems he may have been trying to counterbalance the intense energy typical of an 8th house profection through travel or seeking new experiences. However, with transit Mars moving through his 8th house, it could have activated conflicts or incidents involving aggression, accidents, or volatility. The opposition between Mars and transit Pluto would have only intensified this energy, heightening the potential for violent or extreme events.
it is said that Payne was dropped from Universal Music Group just days before his death, indicating a loss of resources from others / corporations.
Payne’s Scorpio Ascendant reinforces the idea that he may have faced significant struggles before his death. Scorpio risings often experience hardships, mistreatment, or even abuse at the hands of others early in life, shaping their resilience but also leaving lasting emotional scars. With Saturn stationed near direct on his IC and opposing his Midheaven, this suggests potential challenges both at home and in his public life, hinting at possible abuse or difficulties within his family environment that extended into how he was perceived by society.
This dynamic creates tension with his 10th house Sun and Mercury in Virgo and his 11th house Mars and Jupiter in Libra. Although his chart suggests he was meant to be active in the public sphere, the weight of a difficult upbringing may have made it hard for him to fully embrace his potential. The opposition between his private and public life likely resulted in a lifelong struggle to balance personal challenges with his aspirations for recognition and community involvement.
With transit Venus and Mercury moving through his 12th house and the transit North Node in his 5th, this trip appears to have been intended as a healing escape that took an unfortunate turn. The 12th house, linked to self-undoing, and the 5th house, associated with pleasure, suggest a dynamic where seeking enjoyment and release may have led to unintended consequences.
The influence of both Scorpio and Aries—two Mars-ruled signs—likely intensified his pre-death behaviors involving alcohol and drugs. These energies often amplify impulsivity and risk-taking, serving as a catalyst for activities that reflect both escapism and reckless indulgence. While the trip may have been an attempt to heal or disconnect, it seems these Martian forces ultimately exacerbated the challenges he was facing.
Overall, I hope he is in a better place and condolences to Payne's family, the One Direction group, and fandom.
#liam payne#one direction#astrobae#astro community#astrology#astrology tumblr#astro observations#astro notes#astrology community#astrobaeza#astrology notes#astrology observations#astro case study
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Tagging, Censorship and Consent in Fandom
Hello darlings~ I'm back at it again with the essayposting - blame the creative block for that, but as always I'm neck deep in Fandom which is exactly where I wish to be anyway~ Now, today's essay is going to mention potentially triggering topics by name, however will not be going into great detail on any of them. If you feel you are in a place within yourself where you might not be comfortable encountering some terms and topics, please feel free to turn back now and I hope to see you next time instead. For the rest of us...
How To Tag Your Content and Engage With Creative Fandom Safely - A Serious Essay Again with TavyliaSin (And how to respect your readers/viewers) ((Consent is important and this is how we do it)) (((And it's always good to keep learning every day to keep each other safe)))
So again, there will be heavier topic mentions from here, and I welcome all points of view to the table. We're going to cover boundaries, safety, and this will be all ADULT CONTENT so 18+ ONLY please and thank you darlings~ Subheaders follow of course~
--- ---
What Are Tags And Why Should We Care?
This is the easy one here. Tags are the markers on the map, the signposts on the gate, the labels that tell us what is in the tin. Perhaps it is best to think of them like food labels - sometimes people have allergies or intolerances to ingredients. Often, a dish is clearly not going to be suitable - one doesn't order the Nut Roast with a nut allergy, after all - but other times there are unexpected ingredients that might cause an unintended reaction. The exact same applies to content, whether it is angst, dead dove, kink, or really any number of topics that can be difficult for some to handle. We all have our own "food allergies" - there may be some we can never "eat", and others that we can stomach if we prepare first. In both cases we need those labels to know before we dive in. And just to be clear here, I'm not talking about just mild discomfort. Encountering certain topics can put people into severe PTSD episodes that can take days or even weeks to fully recover from. A huge number of us unfortunately live through life events that could be described as traumatic, and whilst we should not place the responsibility of handling our problems on the shoulders of others, we should also be respectful of how content we create and share can affect those with life experiences different to our own.
Boundaries And Safety
We need to extend this to our online interactions with other creators and fandom friends too - express your own boundaries when you need to, seek help if they are crossed with poor intention, and take care to listen to the boundaries of those around you. And whilst I shan't be touching on the topic heavily, this also extends to those in the more public eye. Send and tag only content that is explicitly welcomed, respect boundaries, and help to keep all of our communities happier for it. Additionally, the obvious one too - under 18s should not be interacting with NSFW content, nor should NSFW creators be knowingly interacting with under 18s. This is for the safety not only of the underage people, but the adult creators too. Whilst we can rationalise that most of us encountered inappropriate content for our age, if we are found to be knowingly allowing or sharing it towards those who are underage then we are at a very real risk of landing on offender registers. Use a reasonable amount of care, and seriously any minors still here, first you should not be, and secondly if you have any respect for the NSFW creators please never interact with us until you are over 18.
Alright, So What Should Be Tagged and How?
There are a lot of content types and tags out there. Largely you can put them into 3 Categories: 1. Violence 2. Sexual/Kink 3. Misc Yes I know misc is a bit of a catch-all, but the first two are the most common at least.
The lists I use in the House of Hopeful Sinners Discord Server are as follows - though it should be noted I am adding to and refining these as we go along, either with things that are requested or those that I realise I have missed. There are likely far more comprehensive lists, and AO3 has a lot of suggested tags to use too. My rule on Discord is that all of these topics are permitted but must be spoiler covered and tagged appropriately (I'll cover a section on Discord specifically later). For some of these topics, we have threads that allow people to discuss them in a creative context in a space separated from the main conversation channels, so people can engage and indulge in the content without those who are uncomfortable being exposed to it.
Violent Content
NonCon
Trauma
Death
Severe Injury
Injury Detail
Blood
Torture
Manipulation
Choking
Dead Dove
Needles
Knives
Guns
Ascended Astarion (positive context/romantic)
Sexual Content
DubCon
CNC (Consensual NonCon)
Spanking
Somnophilia (One person is asleep at the start or throughout)
Breeding
BDSM
Wax Play
Pain Play
Breath Control
Bondage
Pet Play
Urine Fetish
Scat
Omegaverse
Knotting
Wild Shape
Ascended Astarion (sexual)
Age Difference
Size Difference
Predator/Prey
Others
Pregnancy/Fertility
Traumatic Pasts
Medical Procedures
Sickness/Emetophobia
Animal Death
Grief/Loss
PTSD/Trauma
That's A Lot Of Tags - Won't It Put People Off?
Well, loves, this is the key. By having the tags there, people can choose to engage or not. For every item on that list, there will be some people who want to avoid that content - and that's fine, you shouldn't want to expose them to it against their will! But there will also be those people who love that content! For example, Breeding is something I'd always want to avoid. I don't want to encounter it in fic or art. But there are lots of people who love that kink, which is great! When it's tagged, I can skip the content, and those who enjoy it can flock to it - everyone wins here!
Should Some Kinks Always Be Censored Or Banned
Time for the tricky nuance part, darlings, but it does need to be said. I do not believe that there are many topics that should be censored or banned entirely in art and fiction for one very simple reason, which I will cover in a lot more detail in a future essay:
Everyone deals with their own traumatic experiences in different ways. Whilst some people may need to avoid anything close to certain topics, others are able to process their pain and heal from it by creating or engaging with fictional versions of that topic.
Writing and art are both things where the viewer/reader has control over the situation. Not in that they can change it, but they can step away at any time. They can stop reading/looking and never go back to it. The situation is, in that way, safe if they are prepared before going in to it. Although a trauma trigger might cause some similar feelings in some people to the traumatic memory/experience, this is not universal. It is not for any one person to dictate the ways in which any other heals or copes with their own scars. It may be similar for a writer or artist, being able to explore and process their feelings. So no, I do not condone censoring anything but the most extreme/obvious illegal topics, which I'd prefer not to mention for my own peace of mind.
As long as works are tagged, and spoiler covers used to hide the content from people until/unless they choose to engage with it, everyone should be allowed to create and consume the media they choose. (The obvious caveat of course being "so long as none are harmed in the making of it", but I should think all of you would know that by this point in the essay)
What Do I Do If Something Isn't Tagged?
Chances are that writers miss tags sometimes, and not intentionally either. Try to let them know in a comment, or if you are uncomfortable engaging then ask someone to speak on your behalf (I will happily provide this service just DM me the link). In cases of Discord or other moderated spaces, speak with those moderators about anything that's troubling you.
If you've been alerted to a missed tag in your own work, add it in right away. It might help to ask Beta Readers to list any tags independently of the ones you have in mind before posting, so you can cross check things over.
How Can I Hide Tagged Content?
AO3 - You can't hide tagged content on AO3, but the tags are listed with every work. You might want to use the summary or pre-work notes if there is particular content you feel needs to be added. As you can see here, I put more in the summary as well as in the tags.
--- Tumblr - List your CWs in the top of your post, and then use the "Read More" marker to hide the cut content.
So you can see the actual content is below the line, in each case, which is also helpful to prevent post previews from being too long and gives you more control over Tumblr formatting anyway. For images, you may well need to make use of the community labels too, though I have been informed writing is less important for this as it doesn't show in post previews.
Discord - Spoiler Tagging is your real friend in Discord. Super easy to use, and hides text and images until clicked.
For text, using the || either side of the text will hide it, and for images you can click the eye symbol to spoiler it. You can also do this from mobile by long pressing the image preview to bring up the menu to spoiler. Twitter - Click on the edit then select the flag menu.
Unfortunately you can't hide text on Twitter, so use caution there, or use threads potentially to nest the warned content in the replies. You may also wish to have a separate account for 18+ content if you have SFW content on your account too, or use things like the protected feature so only people who you allow can see your posts.
Is That All?
For now, darlings, I believe we have covered almost everything, but the floor is open in comments to add anything else you feel is important to discuss.
At the end of the day, engaging in fiction and art that contains potentially sensitive subject matter is all about that informed consent. The creator can make something and ask if someone wishes to see it, the viewer/reader then makes their decision if they wish to or not. Our job as creators is to tag our works so people know what is safe for them to engage with. Our job as consumers is to appreciate the work and know that not every work will cater to our specific tastes.
So really loves I'm telling you to go out and revel in how we have so much variety that we really can filter by what we do and don't want to see, and that we will also likely have readers/viewers for everything we are inspired to create.
Let's not have fandom in-fighting or dictating who should be allowed to create what - there are precious few cases in which those fights are worth starting. Be passionate about what you love, skip the things you don't~ Oh and if you do appreciate my philosophies and guidelines on these topics, it is my pleasure to inform you that my personal server is open and welcoming to likeminded people who are 18+. You'll find more details in This Tumblr Post Here
#fanfic#consent#tagging your fan works#fandom essay#content warnings#trigger warnings#discussions that need to be had sometimes#keeping fan communities safe and happy for everyone
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Hiii can we have Reiji kissing headcanons ?
What it's like to kiss Reiji—
Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor and aren't comfortable with slight NSFW. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.
Caution: Unfortunately, Tumblr has a history of admins quarreling over completing carbon copy asks due to users sending the same request(s) to multiple admins, thus, resulting in unintentional plagiarism. With this, please DO NOT send the same request to multiple blogs as it can cause unintended plagiarism discord to other blogs across Tumblr. The word “plagiarism” stems from the early 17th-century Latin word, “plagiarius,” meaning “kidnapper.” So please, do not send in the same request to multiple blogs and make admins appear to be “kidnapping” other people’s work when it isn’t their intention. If this is to occur with any of my posts, please contact me so we can work something out.
Hi there, Anon!
Thank you so much for requesting! I'm so sorry about the super long wait! It's been very hard to get back to everyone. I hope you enjoy reading it. I figured I'd include examples as well. Feel free to request again anytime! :)
😘 Mmm, now kissing our bae Rei is something.
😘 When it comes to this, Reiji is quite passionate even though he comes off as stiff and lifeless on the surface.
😘 He likes to take his time with this activity and will leave his partner begging for more.
😘 His kisses usually depend on his mood and the atmosphere he’s in.
😘 If he’s at school, he’s a bit more limited when it comes to kissing you, however, a few teachers and supervisors aren’t going to stop him.
😘 Without telling you the real reason, he’ll purposely invite you outside to the school garden during break just to have the excuse to share a few heated kisses with you before the next period begins.
😘 He prefers the school’s garden because it’s private and not a lot of people go there anyways since the last thing he wants is to be disturbed during his time with you.
😘 In this situation, he loves pulling you close and having you all too himself.
😘 And since he’s restricted on time, tension is built on speed since he only has so much time to enjoy you.
😘 His kisses start fast in this situation as if he’s desperate to see you after so long.
😘 These kisses birth into something heated to the point where you two are pressed tightly together, wrapped in each other’s grips, hot breath exchanged between as you both fight for dominance.
😘 And if by chance Reiji gets a moan out of you due to the intensity, he’s more than amused and will only continue to push your limits to the point where you’re gasping for air.
😘 Reiji had a habit of trailing a hand down your back while kissing you, it’s mostly just to make you melt under his touch since he finds this to be a way to make his partner react to his touch in an oh-so intimate situation.
😘 Reiji’s not really the type to kiss his lover openly in public, at the most, he’ll probably kiss their forehead to demonstrate a small exchange of affection, but nothing more than that.
😘 But when alone, especially if his brothers aren’t around, let’s say he’s much more lively with his intimacy.
😘 And again, this entirely depends on his mood.
😘 He mostly likes kissing his lover in his lab or in his room since those two places are pretty much off limits to his brothers, so it’s a safe space he can be intimate in with his s/o.
😘 If he’s in a pretty casual mood, he likes exchanging a few minor kisses with his lover such as on the cheek or forehead.
😘 If you’re busy and he’s in the mood to be a bit more playful than usual, he likes coming up behind you and leaving a soft kiss on your neck just to through you off guard.
😘 And if he really wants to be bold, he’ll trail his kisses from your neck to your shoulder since he lives for your reactions. Might even pull your shirt a bit off your shoulder so his lips can meet your bare skin and increase the tension threatening to rupture between you two.
😘 Likes pulling you in for kisses by the back of your neck as well.
😘 And if he’s feeling especially needy, Reiji like pulling you in out of nowhere for a kiss and quite quickly at that.
😘 These kisses are passionate, fast, heated, his hands being quick to roam your body or slam you against whatever surface he desires your body to be upon.
😘 Loves tracing his fingers over his lover’s lips before kissing them and to assert the dominance he wants to have over them (in a healthy manner, of course!) because let’s face it, if there’s one thing Reiji loves is having his lover under him and all to himself.
😘 Fuck
😘 May even undo a few buttons of your shirt just to get a reaction out of you as he kisses you.
😘 But if you undo the buttons of his shirt while kissing him, he’s done for and can’t resist taking you right there.
😘 And if you by any chance moan his name, or call him Rei, he can’t take it—it really riles him up.
😘 He may come off as dominant, but Reiji does enjoy seeing you take control as well.
😘 And if you can pin this man against a wall and kiss him with full control, he’s absolutely sold and seduced.
😘 Or, if you really want to stir things, if you pretend that you’re going to kiss him and then don’t, or only nuzzle his nose, he can’t bare with the sexual frustration, and it takes everything in him to not take you there as well.
😘 Jawline kisses—he loves pleasuring you this way and keeping you on the edge of your seat as he trails down to your neck, leaving subtle love bites he hopes his brothers see.
😘 Little pecks—These are here and there and they're mostly just to get your attention or just show minor affection towards you.
😘 Likes grabbing/lifting (gently!) your chin to kiss you.
😘 Is also into wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulls you close to have such an intimate moment.
😘 Sometimes, Reiji likes to take things at a different pace and kiss you slowly with no time attached.
😘 These kisses feel endless, his hands never failing to find all the right places to touch you as he does so.
😘 Also likes having you sit on his lap and share a few sweet kisses, and definitely doesn’t mind if it turns into something more because we all know how passionate our bae Rei is. Right, @liannelara-dracula?
😘 Examples:
#diabolik lovers#diabolik lovers headcanons#reiji sakamaki#sakamaki reiji#diabolik lovers reiji#anime#anime requests#anime headcanons#diaboys#dialovers#diahell#diabolik brothers
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I don't hate Switzerland's entry. I don't love it either but it was a good performance, and I can understand why it would have won... However, I don't like how less than halfway through the jury votes it had more points than Sweden at the end of the jury session last year. This reads to me as 'We did the math, we saw what you did for Finland, and we won't let it happen again'. This would absolutely mean that Maneskin was the last true public pick in history, and that we won't see the public decide the winner at all in the foreseeable future. This has another unfortunate and unintended consequence, which is that more voters, just like I this year, are pooling their votes even more onto 1 to 3 entries at most because diluted votes may as well not count... this leads to people essentially betting on the most likely winners, and leaves a lot of good entries in the dirt, without showing them the love they deserve even if they weren't to win. The more they try to fix it, the worse it gets, I truly believe we should just abolish the juries altogether. 'BuT ISraEl woUld haVe beEn 3rD plACe wiThoUT juRies" So what? You're boycotting aren't you?
#eurovision 2024#esc 2024#eurovision#esc#text post#switzerland#winner#entry#voting#system#jury#israel#results#opinion
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The Reluctant Hero
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Summary: Y/N had always known she was different. Her powers, though strong, had brought her isolation more than anything else. She preferred to work in the shadows, using her abilities to help people discreetly. She had no intention of becoming a part of the Avengers or any high-profile superhero team. Though Peter had other plans.
Warnings: Smut kind of. Minors DNI. Profanity. Mentions of PTSD and Trauma.
Word Count: 9.5K
A/N: Listen, I am a Bucky girl, but that doesn't mean I don't have my Peter days, and today is one of them, I just finished rewatching NWH and I figured why not write a little spidey fic. Enjoy. Also, this was before the world knew Peter Parker was Spiderman. (Not proofread at all, sorry.)
Y/N had always been well aware of her unique abilities. From a young age, she had the power to manipulate and control energy. With a mere thought, she could reshape matter and even harness the energy around her to create a variety of effects. However, Y/N was also acutely aware of the potential dangers of her powers, having witnessed the unintended consequences they could bring.
While her powers had the potential to change the world, Y/N preferred to operate in the shadows. She had seen how the public spotlight had turned some heroes into celebrities, their lives, and relationships under constant scrutiny. Y/N valued her anonymity and chose to operate under the radar, helping people discreetly and minimizing her impact on the world. So she decided to mask her identity by, well, wearing a mask. She made an entire suit using pink and black material and she had to admit it looked pretty nice.
One evening, Y/N's covert activities led her to a dimly lit alley where a gang had gathered. She could tell they were up to no good, their intentions nefarious and dangerous. Y/N observed from the shadows, her instincts telling her that intervention was necessary.
Before she could make a move, the sound of thwips echoed through the alley. Spider-Man had arrived, his red and blue suit contrasting against the dark backdrop. He moved with grace and precision, quickly disarming a couple of gang members and using his web-shooters to immobilize others.
Y/N watched as the fight unfolded, Spider-Man's agility and quick thinking on full display. He moved seamlessly, dodging attacks and countering with impressive skill. Despite her initial skepticism, Y/N couldn't help but be impressed by his abilities. The way he handled himself was a testament to his dedication and determination to protect the city.
As the fight raged on, one of the gang members managed to land a powerful blow to Spider-Man's side, sending him crashing against a nearby wall. His mask hid the wince of pain, but Y/N could sense his struggle to get back on his feet. The gang member lunged again, aiming for a decisive strike.
Without hesitation, Y/N stepped out of the shadows and intervened. She directed a surge of energy at the attacker, knocking him off balance and allowing Spider-Man to recover. As he regained his footing, Y/N's eyes met his briefly – a silent acknowledgment of their unspoken teamwork.
The fight continued, but now Y/N was an active participant. She used her energy manipulation to create barriers, deflect attacks, and incapacitate the gang members. Spider-Man moved alongside her, utilizing his web-shooters and acrobatics to take down the remaining members.
As the last of the gang members retreated, Y/N and Spider-Man stood side by side, catching their breath. The alley was littered with debris, a testament to the intense battle that had taken place. Y/N turned to Peter, her expression a mix of curiosity and respect.
"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice laced with genuine concern.
Spiderman nodded, his mask hiding the hint of a grateful smile. "Thanks to you. That energy blast was a lifesaver."
Y/N shrugged off the compliment, a faint blush dusting her cheeks. "I couldn't just stand by. We make quite the team."
Standing in silence for a while Y/N decided it was best she head home, knowing she had school in the morning and that it was late enough, she already knew she'd feel exhausted come morning.
"Hey, I'm gonna get going, it was nice kicking ass with you but it's late and I have to be up in the morning." Y/N scratched the mask covering her face and realized she was pretty sweaty, gross.
"Uh yeah, absolutely, I too, have an early morning. Um, sleep well I guess." Peter didn't really know what to say as he partially wanted to know who she was under that mask but he knew if he asked she too would want to know who he was, and he just wasn't sure if he could trust her with his identity yet.
As Y/N lay in bed she couldn't help but wonder who Spiderman's real identity was. I mean New York is a big city but he didn't sound much older than she herself was. Looking at the clock beside her bed the time read 3:43am, deciding that she needed to finally stop thinking and go to sleep, she shut her eyes.
...
The next morning as Y/N got ready for school her mind was still crowded with thoughts of Spiderman's identity. He sounded young, maybe her age or a few years older. His voice sounded familiar but not too familiar, she could swear she knew that voice from somewhere, she just didn't know where.
Arriving at school Y/N rushed to her locker to grab her trigonometry book, she was late and she knew she would get detention. great. Finally entering the classroom the teacher gave her a knowing look.
"Late again Y/N, thats the third time this week, you know what that means." Miss. Taylor was the worst teacher Y/N had ever had, she was the biggest bitch in the entire faculty. Though she was a teacher it seemed like she hated kids.
"Yeah, I know, detention." Y/N rolled her eyes and grabbed the detention slip from Miss. Taylor's hand.
Heading over to her seat she locked eyes with Peter Parker who sat in front of her, though they had never really talked they both had an understanding about how much they disliked Miss. Taylor. Giving him an annoyed look he smiled at her as if to say "I understand".
Grabbing out your notebook you began to write down the lesson on the board in front of you. While focusing on the bored you noticed that Peter was busy texting someone on his phone, though it looked important Miss Taylor didn't seem to care, she threw her hands on her hips and sighed rather obnoxiously.
"Mister Parker, is that a cellphone I see in your hand? seems you want to join Miss Y/L/N in detention today, bring me your phone, you can pick it up after detention." Miss Taylor walked over to her desk and began writing out a detention slip for Peter. Peter walked up to the front of the class, handed over his phone, and grabbed the slip. Locking eyes with him you could tell that he was annoyed. Sending him a reassuring smile you liked the thought of not being alone in detention today, it'll be nice having someone else there to keep you company.
"Hey at least you're not alone, we can be detention buddies" You whispered quietly to Peter to try and cheer him up. He gave you a faint smile back and began working on something in his notebook.
_____
After school had finished you were making your way over to Miss Taylor's class for detention, dreading having to be at school longer than normal, at least this will give you time to catch up on some homework. Walking into the classroom you locked eyes with Peter and gave him a small wave.
"Okay, since you both have made it here the 30 minutes start now. Once the 30 minutes are up, Peter you can have your phone back and you both can go home." Miss Taylor glanced up at you and Peter and started a timer on her watch. This is going to be the longest 30 ever.
About 10 minutes had gone by when Miss Taylor stood up and announced that she would be leaving the room for a couple minutes, she made it clear that there was to be no talking and that both you and Peter were not allowed to get up and leave the room.
"Hey, did you get the answer to question 5? I've tried going over it several times and I keep coming up with a different answer, I'm not sure what to do." You were hoping Peter would be able to help you since he had a much better grade in the class than you did.
"Yeah, I got -9, I put it through my calculator a few times and kept coming up with the same answer so I think I'm pretty confident that its the answer, but it wouldn't surprise me if she said it's the wrong answer, I swear she hates me." Peter rolled his eyes and you let out a small laugh.
"Don't worry you're not alone, I'm pretty sure she hates me too, I don't know why she went into teaching, she doesn't seem to like kids very much." You smiled and shook your head. Peter looked over at the clock and sighed.
"You got somewhere you need to be?" you couldn't help but be curious.
"Uh yeah, nothing serious, I just need to help Ned apply to college." Peter looked over at you nervously.
"Oh yeah, I have to do that too, I have no idea where I want to go or what I want to do. It's such a hard decision you know. That's a choice that will affect us for the rest of our lives. I'm not sure I'm ready to make that decision just yet, do you know where you're applying?" You glanced up at him from your homework awaiting his answer.
"Yeah, Ned and I have applied to several schools, but were really hoping to get into MIT, it's been a dream of ours since we were kids." MIT, you'd never get into a school like that, you don't have the grades, and even if you did, you don't have the money.
"MIT would be perfect for you. You're like the smartest kid in our grade, maybe even the entire school." You smiled at Peter and he shook his head.
"I don't know about that, I'm sure that there are other kids much smarter than me," Peter knew that he was the smartest kid in their grade but he didn't want to admit that in front of Y/N and look like a total nerd.
_____
After detention, you were making your way home when you heard a fight going on in the alley beside the school, silently creeping around you noticed that it was one of the guys from the fight last night, talking to Spiderman, more like yelling at him. How do we always get ourselves into these situations, people need to stop hanging out in random alleys.
"You cost me a lot of money last night, and I'm here to ensure that you pay up." The man pulled a gun out of his pocket and attempted to shoot Spiderman but he managed to block the bullet with his webs. You weren't sure if he needed your help or if he could handle this himself. You saw what he was capable of last night. You knew he would have no problem taking this guy down.
Peter shot his web shooters at the man's arm that was holding the gun, forcing the gun to drop and hit the ground, as the gun collided with the ground it went off, shooting a bullet right into Spiderman's leg, he bent over and clutched his leg, giving the other man just enough time to run away. You decided that you wanted to help him, You couldn't just leave him there, not after last night. Before you got the chance to make yourself known Peter was shooting a web over the man's face and ripping his Spiderman mask off to get some air.
Though Y/N was facing his back that didn't stop her from seeing who he was, since she had sat behind him for months she would recognize that head anywhere, Peter Parker was Spiderman. Y/N wasn't sure what she wanted to do, did she go out there and help him, eventually outing herself and him in the process, or did she leave, acting like she saw nothing and everything would remain the same. She'd still be the normal teenager she was, and Peter would remain the nerdy kid. But she knew she couldn't just leave him, she knew she had to go out there and help him. She knew deep down that no matter what the future holds she wanted to make sure that her friend was okay. So who really cared if Peter outed her, or turns her into the Avengers. Nothing would be worse than having Peter get more injured than he already was, and it would be all her fault for not helping. So she mustered up the courage she could find and ran over to help him.
"Oh my god Peter are you okay?" She knew that at this current moment, he definitaly was not okay, he had just been shot and now one of his classmates knew who he was.
"Y/N... what are you doing here?" Peter stumbled over his words stunned that Y/N was right in front of him looking at him dressed in the Spiderman suit without his mask on, ideas ran through his head on how he could possibly get out of this situation. Maybe she didn't see that much, maybe she just got here and didn't see him shoot his web shooters, maybe he can say he's trying out a new Halloween costume, maybe he can say that he wanted to see how hard it was to be a superhero for a college essay. No matter how many lies ran through his head he knew that ultimately he was screwed. There was no getting out of this. Y/N knew that he was Spiderman and she was going to tell everyone, his life would never be the same again.
As Y/N's eyes scanned over Peter's face she noticed that he was panicking. "Relax Peter, I'm here to help, I would never say anything to anyone... last night, I was the one who helped you..." Y/N wasn't sure how Peter was going to take the news. Her eyes locked onto his as she was trying to figure out if this was a good thing or a bad one.
Before either of them got a chance to say anything else the man who Peter was fighting ripped the web off his face and was reaching for the gun that he had dropped mere moments before. Y/N acted as quick as possible and using her powers she sent a surge of matter towards the gun, moving it to where the man couldn't reach it. Peter was even more in shock than he was before. He shot his web shooters at the man a few more times to ensure that he was completely stuck this time and wouldn't be going anywhere.
Peter shook his head and chuckled. "I knew your voice sounded familiar."
"That's exactly how I felt, I spent the better half of the last day trying to figure out where I knew your voice from, little did I know, it was right in front of my nose." Y/N smiled up at Peter, she felt safer now knowing that she knew someone who also had powers. She left less alone, though her mind hasn't completely changed about being an Avenger, she was letting the idea gravitate around her brain.
"I gotta admit when I first saw you I was so scared." Peter let out a sigh of relief.
"Yeah I could tell, you looked like you were about to pass out. I would never tell anyone who you are, that's not who I am, even if I didn't have the abilities that I have, I'd never go out of my way to make someone else's life miserable." You sent Peter a reassuring glance. While Peter was about thank her for what she had said, he suddenly remembered that he had been shot. Looking down Peter was met with a hole in his suit that was gushing blood.
"Shit, I think I should go get this stitched up," Peter mumbled. Y/N could see his face getting whiter by the second.
"Okay, I'll come with you, I mean to make sure you're okay. Wouldn't want all my hard work saving you all the time to go down the drain" Y/N said sarcastically and smiled at Peter.
"Oh yes, we definitely should stick together. I have no idea what I'd ever do without you." Peter smirked and started to limp out of the alley.
"So where are we headed? I assume you can't just walk into the hospital with a gunshot wound." Y/N followed after Peter.
"Uh, I could stop by my Aunt May's work, she would know how to stitch this up, but I really don't want to be yelled at about being more safe right now. So I think I'm gonna head over to the compound, Bruce or Dr. Cho can help." Peter decided that it might be faster to get to the compound if he swung him and Y/N there on his webs. "Hey, what do you think about me getting us to the compound faster?" Peter questioned. "I was thinking I could use my web-shooters, and you could just grab on? I promise I'll try extra hard not to drop you." Peter smirked.
Y/N wasn't sure what she was more nervous about, being several feet off the ground, or going to the Avengers compound, though she was scared, she didn't want to make Peter walk the entire way there on his injured leg and she also wanted to make sure that he arrives there safe. "Uh yeah, but I'm gonna need you to do a lot more than trying to not drop me." Y/N tried to seem like she wasn't as scared as she really felt.
Peter could tell that she was nervous so he threw his hand across his chest and placed it over his heart. "Y/N I swear on the entire city, that I shall not drop you," Peter said sounding ever so serious.
Y/N grinned at him and shook her head. "Yeah yeah, let's go." She grabbed onto him and squished her eyes shut as tight as they could possibly go, even though she had to be up in the air that didn't mean that she had to keep her eyes open.
Once arriving at the compound Peter landed safely at the front doors, looking down at Y/N she still had her eyes squeezed shut, Peter smiled softly, "Hey, you can open your eyes now, we're here." Y/N slowly opened her eyes and looked around her, as if to make sure he wasn't lying to her. "See, I told you I wouldn't drop you." Peter smiled as Y/N let go of him and took a step back.
"Okay, well, glad you made it here safe, I'm gonna head home now." Though Y/N knew that Peter wasn't going to let her just leave, it didn't stop her from trying. Peter grabbed her hand before she got the chance to take a step away.
"Uh absolutely not, what would happen if I run into a bad guy in the hallway? Who's gonna save me?" Peter looked at her with a smile on his face and still not letting go of her hand.
"I think the Avengers can help you out from here, you don't need me," Y/N chuckled to herself and tried not to focus too hard on the fact that Peter was practically holding her hand. Though it seemed like she wasn't trying hard enough as Peter pulled his hand away from hers and gasped.
"Jeez Y/N, you could've just asked me to let go you didn't have to shock my hand." Peter grinned at her. Her face must be the darkest shade of red at this point, this can't be happening.
"I swear that was an accident, I didn't mean to, I'm not even sure what happened.." Y/N tried to come up with something witty to say, anything that would get her out of this situation that she was currently in, but she couldn't think of anything, in fact she couldn't think at all, why did that happen, why did her powers act up and shock him, that's never happened before.
"Hey Y/N I was just joking, I love that we have a spark between us." Peter chuckled at her expense. Though he was trying to make her smile it only turned her face more red. She pretended to play it off and threw a light punch at his arm.
"Okay okay, you're a regular comedian, I can't stop laughing at all your funny jokes, let's see how much you're laughing when you get those stitches," Y/N smirked up at Peter as she watched his smile falter slightly.
"Mhm, let's go get this over with, you gotta hold my hand though so you can't be shocking me anymore." Peter was just throwing these jokes around, Y/N shook her head and smiled.
"Maybe I should shock you, maybe it'll get your mind off the pain that you're gonna be in." If Peter wanted to make jokes at Y/N's expense she would do the exact same thing to him.
"Mkay, you do that." Peter opened the compound door and Y/N walked through.
They had walked down what seemed like eight different hallways before he stopped in front of a set of double doors. "So this is the med bay, usually it's empty unless we go on big missions and someone gets hurt." Peter opened the door for her and urged her to walk inside. Once she entered she was met with Bruce Banner sitting on a chair at one of the tables studying a flower.
"Looks who's back, Peter I swear you were here just a few days ago." Bruce sighed and went over to grab what looked like a med kit.
"I mean in my defense I am out saving the city." Peter tried to defend the fact that he was always getting hurt though Bruce wasn't having any of it.
"Well, you need to do more of the beating and less of taking the beating." Bruce grabbed one of the hospital beds and Peter took that as an invitation to go and lay down. Y/N wasn't sure what she should do so she didn't do anything, in fact, she hadn't moved since they got in here. Peter looked over at her and gestured for her to sit down in the chair next to his bed. Y/N was hesitant at first then decided that it might be best for her to sit down, she was feeling a little light-headed.
Just as Y/N had sat down next to Peter, Bruce became aware of the fact that there was a stranger in the room. "So uh, is this your girlfriend or something?" Bruce questioned Peter. Y/N wasn't sure how it was possible, but her face had gotten even more red than before.
"No, she's a friend, she helped me when I got shot. We also go to school together." Peter smiled over at Y/N and gave her a reassuring look. She didn't like that they were talking about her, but that didn't mean she was going to speak up.
"You said she helped you when you got shot? How did she help you exactly?" Bruce asked curiously.
Y/N could feel her heart rate speeding up in her chest. She wasn't sure what Peter was going to say, she wasn't sure what she wanted him to say. Peter looked over at her and gave her a questioning look. Did she have him lie to his fellow Avenger, or did he tell the truth? Deciding that she didn't think lying would be a good idea, she spoke up before Peter could say anything.
"Um, I helped him because I have these... powers. I can uh, control energy? If that makes sense." Y/N was pretty sure she sounded insane. She looked up at Bruce and he was already looking at her.
"What do you mean exactly, when you say you can control energy?" Bruce looked at her curiously. Y/N glanced over at Peter quickly before shifting her eyes back over to Bruce.
"I have the ability to control the energy around me and I can use it to my advantage, I could turn the lights off in this entire building if I wanted. I could shoot an energy blast at someone, I could even cause someone to have a heart attack by controlling the energy inside their body." Y/N didn't want to brag, but she also didn't want to lie to Bruce. She could do a lot of things with her powers, and if used the wrong way she could do some serious damage to those around her.
"Hm, I'm interested to see how that works. Once I've finished stitching up Pete would you be willing to show me some of your powers?" Bruce was giving her the option of whether she wanted to use her powers or not, and that meant a lot to her, whether he truly meant it or not, she was more obligated to show him when he had given her a choice.
"I can show you, just let me know when." Y/N wasn't sure what Bruce wanted her to do, but she was willing to show him.
"We can head over to the training yard out back after this, it's a nice open field where the new recruits run drills, it'll be just us back there today though." Bruce was trying to reassure Y/N that they would be alone, no one else would be around to see her use her powers, and for that she was grateful.
___
Once they had made it out onto the training field Bruce let Y/N decide how she chose to show him her powers. She had been standing there thinking for a few moments when she decided to shoot a blast of energy over at one of the trees and shot it down. She looked over at Bruce to see his reaction.
"Wow, okay, yeah that definitely is something. Where did you get these powers from? Were you born with them?" Bruce seemed genuinely curious about her.
Y/N looked down at her shoes, she wasn't sure if she was ready to talk about that moment in her life yet, she had been to several therapists and still wasn't over the PTSD that she encountered. "Um, I'm not too comfortable talking about that... let's just say I didn't want them, but I have them now and there's nothing I can do about it." Bruce looked over at her with a sad smile.
"Hey, no worries, you're not obligated to tell me anything. If you ever need someone to talk to you can always talk to me, I know we just met but still." Bruce was trying to make her feel better since he had been the one to dig up a repressed memory of hers.
"Thank you, I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this sort of thing so that means a lot to me, I had to go through all of this alone, I didn't have anyone there to help me or tell me everything was going to be okay, after... what happened.. I was all alone." Y/N was shocked that she felt safe enough with Bruce to tell him how she was feeling, she had just met him less than half an hour ago and here she was talking to him like she had known him for years.
"We've all been there, having powers or abilities isn't always accepted and normalized. Though there is our group, we're more of a family, If you ever need help with anything we'd be happy to step in." Bruce had moved closer to her and was now standing right next to her.
"Thanks." Y/N decided that she didn't want to share much more about herself with Bruce, at least not today. Before she got the chance to say anything else Peter walked out and joined them both in the field.
"Hey, sorry it took me a second to get out here I had to call May and tell her where I was. She had tried to call me a few times." Peter seemed to be walking normally now, almost as if he hadn't gotten shot an hour ago.
"I should probably head out. I don't want to intrude." Y/N looked over at Peter and shot him a tight lipped smile. She was beginning to feel uncomfortable being in the Avengers compound for so long.
"Uh yeah, I can bring you home... Where do you live?" Peter asked her.
Y/N wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him that she was living alone in an apartment downtown that was infested with rats and cockroaches. She didn't want him to see where she lived, so she lied.
"Oh uh, I actually have to.. stop at the grocery store and pick up something for dinner, so you don't have to come with me it's okay." Y/N prayed that Peter took her lie and left it alone, but of course he didn't.
"Y/N I'm not just gonna let you walk home alone, it's starting to get dark." Peter looked at the sky and recognized the fact that the sun was starting to go down. There was no way that he was letting her walk home alone.
"I'm sure I can manage to get home by myself Peter I promise I'll even text you when I get home, I think I'm more than capable of taking care of myself." Y/N was trying hard to convince Peter to let her go home alone but it wasn't working.
"Not gonna happen, I'll just go to the grocery store with you, or you can eat at my house with me, May is cooking mac and cheese. I promise you will like it, she makes the best mac and cheese." For whatever reason Peter didn't want to let Y/N go, he felt protective of her and he wasn't sure why. Y/N knew that she was not going to be able to convince Peter that she could make it home on her own, he would be going with her whether she liked it or not, so she might as well just go with him and eat some of his Aunt May's dinner, it beats eating a can of soup for dinner.
"Alright Parker, I'll come over and eat dinner with you and your Aunt." Y/N rolled her eyes and headed back into the compound. Peter looked over at Bruce and told him goodbye. Bruce nodded his head and before Peter could run after Y/N, Bruce stopped him.
"Keep an eye on her, she's hurting, and lonely. Make sure she's okay, be a good friend to her." Bruce asked Peter. Peter looked over at Bruce and gave him a reassuring nod. Peter was going to make sure Y/N knew that she wasn't alone, he would be her friend.
While Y/N was waiting for Peter to come back inside she was looking around the hallways in the compound that lead to the front door. She wasn't sure how people didn't get lost in here, the place was massive. She was busy looking at one of the art pieces on the wall when someone walked up beside her.
"Hello, I don't believe I've ever seen you before." The man had asked her. Y/N was started by his voice as her head whipped to the side and she came face to face with Tony Stark.
"Oh, I'm- I'm a friend of Peter's..." Y'N wasn't sure what to say. She was nervous. She left safe around Bruce where Tony makes her feel like she's in trouble.
"Don't worry kid, I'm not gonna put you in time out. Just wanna make sure you're meant to be here and I'm not just paying millions of dollars for a security system that doesn't work." Tony gave her the slightest of smiles and glanced down at his phone. "Speaking of that kid, where is he?" Tony didn't bother looking up from his phone.
"Um, I think he's outside with Bruce, out on the training field." Y/N spoke in a hushed tone as if she was scared she was going to get yelled at.
"Okay, lead the way. I heard he got shot today so I need to go scream at him for a few minutes, you know how it is." Tony stated. Y/N didn't really know how it was. She didn't have any parents or anyone really, she didn't have someone who cared enough about her safety that if she were to get shot they'd be mad at her.
"Uh yeah." She didn't want to seem rude so she agreed anyway. Tony let Y/N pretend like she was leading the way though Tony ended up taking the lead after Y/N almost made a wrong turn.
"So, how do you know Peter?" Tony spoke up. Y/N was getting tired of being questioned about her affiliation with Peter.
"Oh we're friends from school, we have a few classes together." Y/N wasn't necessarily lying to him, she was friends with him and they did have a few classes together. Is that the entire reason that she knows him? no. But that doesn't matter.
Once Y/N and Tony had arrived outside Tony went right over to Peter and began scolding him. "Getting shot, really Peter? What were you thinking?" Peter knew that Tony cared about him, that's why he was out here yelling at him. Tony wanted to make sure that Peter was safe.
"I know, I know. It's a good thing that Y/N was there. She kind of saved my life. Or at least that's what she likes to say." Peter smiled over at Y/N and sent a wink her way.
"Uh hu, good for you guys. Glad someone was there to save your ass when you put yourself in stupid situations all the time. Peter, I promised your Aunt May that nothing bad would happen to you when she agreed to let you be an Avenger, and here you are getting shot." Tony was hoping that this talk would knock some sense into Peter but he knew that it ultimately wouldn't matter what he said. Peter would continue to do stupid things and Tony would have to continue cleaning up the mess that he left behind.
"I know, I'm sorry, it won't happen again I swear." Peter smiled up at Tony. Though they both knew he was lying they both decided to drop the subject.
"So, what's this I hear about Y/N saving your ass? How'd she manage that?" Tony glanced over at Y/N expectantly and she knew that she was going to have to show another person how her powers worked today. Y/N was starting to wonder if it would have been better to just have left Peter alone in the alley when he got shot. Knowing that she was lying to herself.
"Uh, I have these... powers. Um, I can control energy..." Y/N was about to show her abilities when Bruce spoke up.
"Yeah she showed me earlier, I watched her knock down that giant tree back there with a surge of energy she shot out of her hand, it was pretty cool. She also mentioned something about how she can control the energy in a building and the energy in people's bodies." Bruce spoke to Tony. Tony looked over and Y/N and looked her up and down.
"Huh, interesting, do you mind showing me?" Tony didn't want to give Y/N the option of whether she wanted to show him her powers or not. He wanted to see them for himself. Y/N looked over at the same tree she had shot down earlier and sent another surge of energy toward it, ultimately causing the tree to explode in the process. Tony stared at the tree for a moment, seeming to be thinking about something.
"Okay, you're in. Do you have a suit or something? I can make you one. Let's go inside and we can discuss your power some more. I could definitely use your help on our next mission. I could use you to shut down the power in the building. We got wind of some HYDRA agents working in a building in Russia." Tony spoke to Y/N while typing on his phone, probably talking to someone else about her. Y/n wasn't sure what to say. On one hand, she still didn't want to be an Avenger, yet on the second and she wouldn't mind being part of this so-called family Bruce had mentioned to her. Y/N missed having a family.
"I don't think Y/N is interested in becoming an Avenger," Peter spoke up. Y/N glanced over at him before looking back at Tony.
"Are you sure kid? I can make you a suit like Peters, one with a mask. No one would know who you are." Tony stopped typing on his phone and put his full attention on Y/N. Hoping that she might change her mind. Y/N thought hard about her decision before nodding her head and agreeing to become the newest member of the Avengers. Tony had promised to keep her identity hidden and she would hold him to that.
"Okay, I mean, I don't want you guys to announce me as the newest Avenger or anything in the media, but I guess I could help you guys out every now and again..." Y/N spoke up while looking over at Peter. He was more than excited that he would get to see more of her now that she was going to be an Avenger.
"Perfect, Y/n, Peter. Come with me. We can discuss your new suit and I can introduce you to Steve. He'll want to meet you." Tony began walking back into the compound and expected that Y/N and Peter would follow him. Y/N looked over at Bruce and he gave her a friendly smile, she smiled back.
_____
Once getting inside Tony's office they began talking over ideas for her suit, she insisted that she wanted to stay with her signature pink and black colors but then she gave Tony full artistic power. She didn't really mind what it looked like and she was sure that Tony knew what he was doing at this point when it came to designing suits for people. After all, he did make every one of Peter's suits.
"Alright, if you don't need anything else from us we might get going, I promised Aunt May that I would be home for dinner" Peter mentioned looking over at Y/N.
"Wow, already taking her home to meet the family, you two must be very serious then." Y/N and Peter could tell that Tony was just trying to mess with them.
"Haha, very funny," Peter said sarcastically. "I just invited her over for dinner, Aunt May is making mac and cheese."
"Okay, I don't actually care that much, You two run along. Y/N stop by tomorrow with Peter and take a look at the suit, I'll have the sketch drawn up by tomorrow then we can take your measurements." Tony didn't look up from his computer while talking.
"You got it, once school is done I'll be right over." Y/N smiled at him even though he wasn't looking at her, she would never admit it but she was kind of excited to see the suit that Tony had designed for her.
___
Once Peter and Y/N had arrived at May's apartment Peter walked in with Y/N behind him.
"Oh you must be Y/N Peter texted me and let me know you'd be coming by for dinner, I hope you like mac and cheese." May smiled at Y/N, she was standing in the kitchen with her hair in a bun and some sweats on.
"I love mac and cheese, Thank you for having me, your home is lovely." Y/N wanted to be as nice as possible, and May was giving her a free meal after all.
"Thank you, It's small but it's just enough room for me and Peter here." May Smiled glancing over at Peter. "Well, you two go sit in the living room, I'll call you guys once it's ready, there's juice and water in the fridge you guys help yourself." May stated while stirring a pot of macaroni. Peter glanced over at you.
"Do you want anything to drink?" Peter asked you.
"Uh no I'm okay for right now, thanks." Y/N smiled lightly and headed out towards the direction May had said the living room was leaving Peter alone in the kitchen with May.
"Peter you never said she was gorgeous." It was like May was trying to embarrass Peter.
"Okay Aunt May, I'm gonna go into the living room and sit with Y/N" Peter was blushing but May decided not to comment on it.
"Alrighty, be safe. No kissing." May giggled to herself as she watched Peter shake his head and walk away. He prayed that Y/N didn't hear any of their conversation.
Peter and Y/N had been sitting on the couch together for around 15 minutes just watching TV before one of them had the courage to say anything. Of course, Peter spoke first.
"So, are you actually excited about Tony making you a suit, about maybe becoming an Avenger?" Peter was nervous that she was going to say no, and that she wasn't going to show up to meet with Tony after school tomorrow.
"I am, I really didn't think that I would but I am, I'm excited to get to hang out with you more as well, since you're an Avenger we'll get to hang out more often." Y/N spoke staring at the TV, nervous to look over at him, What if this entire time he hadn't really been flirting with her, what if he was just playing around.
"I'm glad to hear you say that. I wanna hang out with you more than anything, and I'm glad you are excited to join the Avengers. It's more fun than it sounds, there's game nights, parties, family dinners." Peter smiled at Y/N slightly turning his body towards hers. She took that as a sign to look over at him. her face was red and his was slightly pink. An overwhelming feeling took over both of them as they looked into each other's eyes. Peter looked down at Y/N's lips and started to lean in towards her.
"DINNER!" May had shouted from the kitchen. Peter sighed and got up from the couch, putting his hand out for Y/N to grab. She smiled lightly and took his hand getting up from the couch and heading into the kitchen with Peter. Once they had entered the kitchen May was setting the table with some plates. She smiled up at the both of them and glanced at their intertwined hands.
"Sit wherever you like, the mac and cheese is just on broil right now to crisp up the top. You both can start with some of the salad if you would like." May gestured for them to both grab some salad. Peter sat down in his usual spot and Y/N sat across from him with May eventually sitting next to them both at the head of the table.
"Do you want some salad?" Peter questioned while holding up a scoop of salad. Y/N nodded her head and lifted up her plate bringing it closer to Peter. He set some salad on her plate and then gave himself some.
"Alight it's ready, please remember that it did just come out of the oven, do not burn your mouths." May had warned them while setting the dish of mac and cheese on the table.
_____
After dinner, Y/N was putting her shoes on at the door when Peter started to put his on as well. Y/N didn't want to be rude but she really didn't want him walking her home.
"I really don't need you to walk me home, it's okay. I'll even text you when I get home." Y/N was hoping that Peter would take her up on her offer, she prayed that he would let her go home on her own.
"I can't do that, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I let you walk home on your own and something bad happened to you, you saved me twice in the last 24 hours. No way am I gonna let you walk home alone." Peter grabbed her bag and put it on his back. She smiled at him softly and shook her head. Fine then, but she wasn't stopping at her actual house.
On their walk home Y/N and Peter had been talking about Peter's past missions with the Avengers. He was telling her about the time he got recruited by Tony and got to fight Captain America, they were all buddies now.
They had been walking for around 20 minutes when Y/N stopped in front of some random house about 5 minutes from her true home. Her real house was nothing like this place, her place didn't have a nice wrap-around porch, and her place didn't have a beautiful garden. Her place was filthy, and gross, and often had drug dealers out front. She wished she lived here.
"Wow, nice place." Peter looked at the house in awe, this place was nicer than he thought it would be.
"Yeah, thank you. Well, I'll see you tomorrow." Y/N didn't want to seem like she was rushing him but she was kind of tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she had another 5 minutes to walk once Peter left.
"Yeah absolutely. I'll just make sure you get inside okay and I'll be on my way, Aunt May always raised me to make sure people get inside their house safely before I walk away." Peter smiled. Shit, no. Y/N was officially screwed. She stood there thinking of ways to get out of the current situation she put herself in.
"Oh uh, I must have forgotten my keys at school," Y/N spoke quickly looking up at Peter. He looked down at her confused.
"You mean the keys that are in your hand?" Peter pointed down at her hand. She looked down and noticed that she indeed had her keys in her hand. Fuck, she was officially screwed. Peter grabbed her arm lightly.
"Y/N what's going on?" Peter asked genuinely concerned. Y/N squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. Peter was growing more concerned by the second.
"Y/N talk to me, tell me what's wrong?" Peter squeezed her arm lightly in an attempt to get her attention. She sighed and felt her eyes start to tear up.
"This isn't my house, I don't live here." Y/N wasn't making eye contact with him. Her vision was fixed on the house in front of her. She wished that the ground would just open her up and swallow her.
"Okay... So whose house is it? And where do you actually live?" Peter was confused as to why she would lie to him about where she lived. Y/N looked over at Peter and he noticed that she was crying.
"I live a few blocks over, in a shitty apartment. That's infested with b bugs and rats. I didn't want you to see where I lived, it's embarrassing but it's all I can afford." Y/N felt incredibly valuable telling this to Peter, she had only really started talking to him today. And now he knows that she lives in a dump.
Peter's brows furrowed. He didn't understand. All she could afford? "What do you mean all you can afford?" Peter refused to break eye contact with her. He didn't even want to blink.
"I live alone... I'm on government-assisted living... I don't have a family. I have no one." Y/N was whispering at this point, scared that if maybe she didn't say it out loud she could pretend that she did live here at this house. That she had a mom, and dad who were sitting on the couch watching TV waiting for her to get home safely. She'd go to put her key in the door and her dog would bark at the door ready to greet her.
"Y/N you don't have to lie to me about that stuff, I would never judge or think differently of you." Peter's heart hurt watching Y/N stare at the house in front of them. "We'll stop at your actual apartment and you can pack a bag, you can spend the night with me tonight. Don't argue we're both tired and we have school in the morning. May won't even ask any questions. Trust me." Peter stated. Y/N closed her eyes and looked up at him. How did she get so lucky in the past 24 hours to have met someone like him?
"Okay.." Y/N didn't say anything else as she started walking towards her true apartment. Peter's hand slid down Y/N's arm from where he was holding it and began holding her hand while they walked.
"If you wanna talk about it I'm here." Peter didn't know whether to give her some space or to talk to her.
"Thank you, Peter, but I don't wanna talk about it, at least not right now," Y/N spoke softly and squeezed Peter's hand. She was grateful for his kindness but today had been a lot for her. She was too tired to talk about her trauma. Peter nodded at her and squeezed her hand back.
Once they had arrived at her apartment building Y/N told Peter to wait outside and that she would be right back. After getting a look at the building Peter was reluctant to let her go inside alone but remembered that she did live there. While inside Y/N packed a bag with a few outfits in it and ran to the bathroom to grab her toothbrush. Walking down the stairs towards Peter it seemed that he was on high alert, just waiting for something to happen.
"Ready to go?" Peter asked her while grabbing her bag, he now had both her bags.
"I'm all set. You know I can carry one of the bags, you don't need to carry both." Y/N smiled at him and shook her head.
"Naw I got it, don't even worry about it I'm stronger than I look," Peter smirked at her while flashing his muscles in an attempt to cheer her up. She let out a small laugh and shook her head.
__
Once they arrived back at Peter's apartment they quietly entered. Peter n noticed that all the lights were out and he turned behind him to Y/N and signaled to stay quiet. She nodded her head and followed behind Peter in the direction of his room. Peter placed her bags on his bed and sat down.
"Do you wanna take the bed and I'll take the floor?" Peter questioned. Y/N looked at the bed and then back up at Peter.
"I think we could both share the bed, I mean what is that? A queen?' Y/N didn't want to make it too obvious but she wanted to share the bed with him. Peter smiled softly at her.
"Uh yeah, I think so, I'm just gonna head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get changed, I'll leave you here to get changed and then you can brush your teeth." Peter smiled at her.
Y/N grabbed her bag and began looking for the pajamas that she packed, While she was looking she realized that she packed two pairs of bottoms and forgot to pack a shirt. Shit. While sitting on the bed she waited for Peter to arrive back from the bathroom. Once Peter had walked into his room he had changed into his pajamas and sent a questioning look over at Y/N.
"You wearing that to bed?" Peter asked her.
"No uh, I forgot to pack a shirt to sleep in..." Y/N was looking down at her fingers while she played with her nails. Peter smiled to himself.
"I'll grab you one of mine, trust me they're comfy." Peter walked over to his closet and grabbed her his 'I love New York" t-shirt for her to wear. She grabbed it from him and thanked him in the process.
"I'll just change in the bathroom, thanks again for the shirt." Y/N smiled at him still embarrassed that she had to ask for one of his shirts.
___
Y/N had walked as quietly as she could towards the bathroom and brushed her teeth while staring at Peter's shirt. It was taking everything in her not to sniff the shirt. Once she was done brushing her teeth she changed into Peter's shirt and looked at herself in the mirror. His shirt was longer on her than her shorts were. It looked almost like she wasn't wearing anything else. She blushed to herself before heading out of the bathroom towards Peter's room.
Once entering back in his room she shut the door behind her before turning around towards Peter's bed. He looked up from his phone and glanced at her. Holy Shit. Peter couldn't help but blush at her. Seeing her in his shirt had more of an effect on her than she thought it would. She was gorgeous.
"My shirt looks good on you." Peter smiled at her and pulled the blanket back on his bed to invite her in. She smiled at him and got in bed next to him. Peter laid down and turned to face her. Y/N plugged her phone in and laid down facing Peter. They stayed in silence just looking into each other's eyes. Peter wanted nothing more than to kiss her, but he wasn't sure if that's what she wanted. Y/N glanced down at Peter's lips and he took that as an invitation to slowly move in towards her. Y/N closed her eyes and moved in towards him as well. Once their lips touched Y/N could feel the butterflies in her belly, he tasted like mint toothpaste. Peter moved his arm to grab her waist and pulled her in closer to him. Y/N put her hand on the back of his neck in an attempt to somehow pull his face closer to hers. Y/N pulled her leg over his and pushed Peter over onto his back with her sitting on his lap. Though the kiss broke it was only for a mere second before Peter was pulling her face back down to his. Y/N couldn't help but grind her hips against his in hopes of relieving some of the pressure between her thighs. Peter gripped her hips tightly and helped move her hypes in a rhythm they both seemed to like, very much. Y/N could feel his cock hardening through his pants. Y/N pulled back to catch her breath. Peter looked up at her and smiled.
"You okay?" Peter asked her. Y/N smiled and nodded her head blushing.
"Yeah, I'm okay, just not sure if I'm ready for more than this. At least not tonight. I'm so tired. sorry." Y/N felt bad that she was leaving him with a boner but she wasn't ready to do anything more.
"Don't apologize I completely understand. Let's go to sleep, you have a big day tomorrow." Peter was referencing the meeting that Y/N had with Tony after school tomorrow. Y/N nodded her head and gave Peter one last kiss before climbing off him and resting in her original spot next to him. Peter leaned over and kissed her forehead before putting his arms around her and falling asleep.
Y/N lay in bed thinking about the last 24 hours of her life. She was happy, and though she still had walls up around her heart she could feel them cracking. Peter was making her happier than she'd ever been in her entire life, and that scared her. She wanted to be happy, everyone does. But she was scared to let herself be happy, in fear that it would be ripped from her arms. Y/N looked over at Peter and studied his face. He was snoring softly and his face looked so peaceful. She envied Peter for the little family he had, the Avengers loved him and he had May to take care of him. Y/N had no one, She was excited to see Tony tomorrow after school and hopefully, her life would begin to change. She wanted happiness for herself. She deserved it.
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PDA in the digital age
With the whole world as a potential audience, oversharing details about your relationship online can lead to unintended consequences and become a source of discomfort. An overemphasis on social media public displays of affection can create pressure to perform happiness, potentially overlooking the authenticity of a relationship. It can also invite external scrutiny and feedback, which may not always be positive.
On the other hand, the public affirmations of romantic satisfaction on platforms such as Facebook have been linked to higher relationship satisfaction among couples, according to researchers at Albright College. It’s imperative that couples assess the impact of their virtual PDA, not just on personal privacy but also on the health and perception of their romantic relationships.
Cultural perspectives on public displays of affection
Couple displays affection through a kiss while standing on a bus.cs
Cultural factors significantly influence how individuals and societies navigate PDA on social media. In liberal societies, sharing kisses, holding hands or other forms of physical affection might be widely prevalent and accepted on digital platforms. Meanwhile, in more traditional or conservative cultures, such public exhibitions might be frowned upon or even lead to social or legal consequences, affecting the nature of content shared online.
Practical tips for PDA on social media
Navigating the complexities of online PDA requires a strategic approach. Here are several practical tips for individuals and couples attempting to maintain respectful levels of PDA on social media:
1. Communicate with your partner about comfort levels regarding online PDA to try and ensure both parties are on the same page.
2. Consider the potential implications and long-term permanence of the content you share—once online, your displays of affection can be difficult to entirely remove.
3. Cultivate an awareness of your audience; remember your social media friends or followers include colleagues, family and even future employers.
4. Employ privacy settings to control who can view the personal moments that you choose to share.
5. Reflect on why you are sharing—if it’s for validation or to invite commentary on your relationship, it may be wise to reconsider.
In a data-driven world where personal information is invaluable, following these tips can help couples express their affection thoughtfully without compromising personal boundaries or privacy.
The impact of public displays of affection on relationships
Lovers, man taking a picture with his woman on valentines day for social media
PDA on social media can reveal significant insights into the dynamics of a romantic relationship, with research from Albright College illuminating how relationship satisfaction correlates with online behavior. The study discovered individuals more content with their partnerships tend to actively share affectionate posts, including couple photos and loving comments on their partner’s social media timeline. This suggests that for many, the visibility of their relationship’s happiness plays out through their interactions on social networks.
However, this same practice of engaging in PDA online can also be indicative of underlying relational insecurities. The same Albright College survey found individuals with relationship contingent self-esteem (RCSE)—a measure of self-worth based on the status of one’s relationship—are more liable to post details and pictures demonstrating their romantic connections. These findings imply social media can serve as a platform for affirming relationship validity to oneself and others but potentially at the cost of personal or relational well-being.
How couples can navigate discomfort related to oversharing on social platforms
Striking a balance between sharing and privacy remains a tightrope walk for couples engaging in PDA on social platforms. While a moderate level of online affection can be seen as a healthy acknowledgment of a partner, when such actions stem from compulsion rather than choice, they may lead to negative consequences. A study published in the Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking highlights the increased likelihood of relationship conflicts related to frequent Facebook use, with these conflicts relating to adverse outcomes such as infidelity and breakups.
For couples navigating the discomfort of oversharing, experts emphasize the importance of maintaining a balance. While online displays of affection aren’t inherently negative, they should not become substitutes for actual expressions of love and should be accompanied by efforts to bolster self-esteem independent of the relationship’s online representation.
Conclusion
As couples grapple with the complexities of online PDA, it’s imperative to set boundaries and approach digital affection thoughtfully. In a world where the line between public and private is increasingly blurred, managing the visibility of relationships on social media is not only a matter of social decorum but also an expression of respect for personal boundaries and privacy. Digital platforms like Peoplelooker.com could help you take control of how you portray your love in the digital age.
Disclaimer: The above is solely intended for informational purposes and in no way constitutes legal advice or specific recommendations.
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Public PSA and Callout Of Hawkshadow/Luna: A Continued Pattern of Hurt and Manipulation PART 2 of 2
If you haven't read part 1, it is linked HERE:
If you have, then where we last left off, I had been guilted into continuing a friendship that was actively detrimental to my mental health; eventually causing a very bad anxiety attack over a small issue, over which I was gaslit to hell and back with Luna's insistence to berate me, causing in me accepting all fault and blaming myself for the incident.
After this, there weren't any large fights until January. This was for 2 reasons:
a) I had received anxiety pills from my psychiatrist, which I started using anytime a conversation with Luna would make me very anxious again
b) During the period of late November - end of December, she became busy on working on her large holiday fic. Our conversations became more sparse as she was, apparently, completely consumed by it.
But we were brought back together as Luna, out of nowhere, suggested working on a fic together.
This was... weird to me. For context: Luna and I had attempted to work on fics before. We'd have an idea in DMs, talk about it, create a shared doc, and then... NOTHING from her. I am not joking when I say I would write up to 4 thousand words in a document without a single contribution from her. This was back at the beginning of our friendship. As a result, I had given up on ever writing anything with her. So for her to just suggest working on a fic together out of the blue was... really weird.
(Side note: Luna and I had a lot of fic ideas in our pinned messages. At the time it completely slipped my mind that the only reason I brought up a/b/o had been because I'd just read a fic and wanted to talk about something similar. So our discussion of the idea happened months ago - it was only after the whole fiasco was over that I remembered, oh shit, it had originally been inspired by something else. So I apologize for the unintended idea stealing.)
I am including the following screenshot as 1 - proof we really did talk a lot about so many ideas; and 2 - as the most likely theory for why she was suddenly up for writing a fic with me.
She wanted to write something, but didn't think she would have time to do it by herself. So she hit me up. This becomes ironic later on because she ended up completely destroying my ability to work on the fic.
Bonus: her changing things I myself had written in the fic and only asking me if it was okay afterward. I... didn't really feel like I could disagree and argue with her.
In the middle of everything, an event occurred which I can only refer to as The Like Drama. This event is going to have its own post because it spans 10 screenshots and is, even more than anything in this whole series of events, incredibly inane, hard to follow, and it's insane it was ever made a big deal in the first place. It is, however, a very fantastic example of Luna's casual manipulation and general obsessiveness with public image.
The Like Drama post HERE:
Back to the fic saga:
A short time after this, after editing my words and only asking permission afterwards, I was scrolling Twitter and an announcement Tweet from Luna popped up on my timeline. (I don't have the capacity to go make an alt and try to search through her account for it, but it was public and many people can certainly remember it.)
It read, in summary: that she was working on an omegaverse fic and to stay tuned. A couple of things to highlight, specifically:
a) there was no mention of me, or any co-author in the tweet
b) this tweet was made without any sort of discussion with me
c) I have an Actual Massive Trigger around pressure; something I would talk about extensively in her server. Both Raelle and Cass (vegaspetesupremacy / sketchyshit) are willing to back me up on this. It used to be so bad that I could not tell anyone what I was working on, otherwise I would be unable to finish it.
(if anyone is wondering about the legitimacy of such a trigger - I used to attend a massively abusive private school for almost 8 years. It fucking sucked.)
Luna knew about this trigger. And not only did she post a tweet like that, in what follows after, she proceeds to stomp all over my boundary.
On January 19th I woke up to the message that a friend had committed suicide.
At the same time, the fic had gone up during the night - but it wasn't what I focused on because I was emotionally broken up. I made a Twitter post about taking some time off to grieve.
After crying, I was left alone with my thoughts. And my email notifications were pinging with people commenting on the fic. So I thought: why not reply? Luna had previously mentioned finding comment replies draining; I felt like I could do something useful.
And this is where things went wrong. As mentioned, I was not in a good headspace. So when some comments featured the typical begging for more ie "please please write a chapter 2!!" I was very blunt with reinforcing my own boundary; telling them quite frankly that it's uncomfortable and if they keep going, I will block them.
Were my replies graceful? No. But I was grieving and did not have the capacity to care.
Here is my final conversation with Luna, after which we never spoke again.
That's it. That's the end of our conversation.
Luna did not reply to me for 2 entire days. During this time, she wrote and published a drabble for one of the commenters.
Formerly, this conversation also had a message or two from me along the lines of "Luna? Please respond, please." I deleted these after seeing that. (That entire conversation, I was waiting on a single "I'm sorry for your loss" from her; at one point I specifically tried to allude to my situation to see if she knew, but she did not acknowledge it.)
After 48 hours, I unfollowed Luna on Twitter and left her server; mostly to see if it would make her react.
In response, she hard-blocked me. She chose her followers and fame over our friendship for good.
During this 48-hour period, I had also thought to message Raelle regarding my general frustration, almost as a last call for help. Because to be clear: this interaction left me sobbing and wailing on the ground. In essence, I had lost two friends on a single day. I could not fathom why she was treating me this way, what horrible thing I may have done to deserve this.
Not to be sappy, but: I really, really want to be clear how much I owe to Rae. She allowed me to vent and show her what happened: I asked her multiple times if I was out of line, because I thought it must be something I had done. She was my first outside perspective on my interactions with Luna; she was the one to tell me "you don't deserve to be treated like this." Without her, I would have probably ended up crawling back and begging Luna to forgive me, possibly trapping myself in months more of miserable friendship.
And here is something incredibly scary: If Luna had just.. given a single reply. Just a single "Wait for me a few days, we'll talk later." I wouldn't be here right now.
Even months after everything happened, I was still wracked by guilt and felt like I would sacrifice anything just to have that friendship back. My friends had to talk me down, sometimes, from messaging her begging her to take me back. After the first few days, I unblocked her on Twitter and kept her unblocked for close to a month - just in case that maybe, possibly, she ever wanted to talk to me again.
I'm not under any illusion as to what this treatment is comparable to. Some people, when shown everything, have told me the word "abuse" could apply - but I hesitate to use it, and am actively choosing not to include it as an accusation; because it is heavy and loaded and I do not want anyone to misunderstand.
Unfortunately, the story doesn't end here.
After leaving the work, something happened: despite me leaving, Luna had not edited the Author's Note to include mentioning me. In fact, it almost seemed like she wanted to avoid mentioning me; since the fic has been deleted, I am including proof through old DMs with Raelle (me reacting to this situation). (I become quite angry in these screenshots. I apologize for the name-calling.)
Quick context for what I mention here: After I became unable to work on the fic, Luna would reassure me "it's fine, you already did so much" when I expressed guilt. So... yeah, seeing this comment was a betrayal. PLUS the fact she froze it.
So, in my anger and frustration I decided to make a Twitter post; SOLELY because of the no-credit issue. At that point, I didn't want to expose Luna's treatment of me because I still had trouble accepting that it wasn't mostly my fault.
Here is the post I made, which turned into a thread as she made her own thread and misrepresented what I said: https://twitter.com/reptileofdoom/status/1616908647048613888?s=20
As a response to this, Luna created her own thread which she started sending to everyone. And not just everyone she knew, but asking those people to share it with everyone they know. (The thread has since been deleted, presumably after people pointed out inaccuracies and/or she realized she was just giving the issue more publicity.) The main piece of misinformation in the thread was her claiming I was credited in the Author's Note: this only became true after my post went public and she did it, presumably, as a way of covering her ass.
Proof, provided by kiwibin (thank you so much):
(shown through discord search because the chat was extremely active at the time and there are a million unrelated messages)
Additional proof of the thread being sent to Rae, her defending me to Luna, and Luna's response (screenshots provided by Raelle, thank you so much):
Bonus points: Misgendering lol. You only have my word on this, but her thread also featured a screenshot of a conversation with one of the "upset commenters" who misgendered me and Luna did not correct them, instead reassuring them she still loved them or whatever. She posted it as proof of how much I upset her followers.
These next images are of Rae crafting her response at the time, but it is what she ended up sending:
(As mentioned before, Rae is an angel.) (Cut off because stupid image limit, so I had to prioritize more important conversation.)
Finally, last of all:
There is a reason I have called all this a "continued pattern." In the time afterward, as I was dealing with my own emotional fallout and had trouble processing everything, I reached out to someone Luna had mentioned to me as a "former best friend (who abandoned her)." The conversation was... illuminating, and gives information about Luna's time in her previous fandom, MDZS.
Thank you so much, lunarwriter, for allowing me to add your voice to this.
As mentioned in these screenshots, there is a pattern:
Luna approaches someone, usually someone with some sort of "value" - either with many followers, or because of their writing/art. (in some ways, I was the exception: she messaged me because we wrote an impromptu threadfic in replies) (this would later be turned into her fanfiction Mortifying Ordeal, once again without credit to me, which I didn't think to question at the time. )
She pulls them into her circle. When we were friends, it was "invite them to the server" - which may be dead now because I was the one usually working very hard to keep it from going dead. But this part features a lot of compliments, asking to sprint together, gushing about how she loves their work, messaging a lot, etc.
Then comes the part where she gets value out of someone. Last I heard, she was doing it through collabs.
Here is where it gets... fuzzy because this part is usually in DMs. But people I have spoken to have mentioned experiencing some form of manipulation or another, usually to satisfy Luna's ego - constantly comparing followers, statistics, etc. Or in my case, becoming a sort of sounding board, someone to be a cheerleader for her and constantly comfort whenever she needs it - but heaven forbid I ask for some comfort back.
Just to be clear: the amount of manipulation used varies person to person.
Since I was vulnerable and easily taken advantage of, she used a heavy hand with me: which is why she was able to completely destroy me in such a relatively short amount of time.
If you are someone who is older, or has more "star power", maybe you haven't noticed these things! Or she hasn't felt the need to use it on you! Or you are special, or I am somehow mistaken about everything.
There is a very good reason why, in our final conversation, I pointed out she would not be acting the same way toward me if I was older and had "popularity."
At the end of the day, Luna is someone who, when allowed power over someone else, uses it to hurt people over and over again.
I expect her response to be something like this: Pick a point or two to focus on, ones where it was harder to find proof, or ones where I did not think to include some related conversation beforehand. Make her entire point around that. Claim I am trying to hurt her; paint herself as the victim. Vent to everyone around it, make very sad posts, share her inevitable "defense" with everyone. (If I'm wrong, I'm gonna donate $20 to charity. Not joking.)
As mentioned before, this isn't a call for "cancelling" or whatever. First and foremost, it is a PSA, a way to show these techniques and to help people guard against them more effectively. Second of all, it is a way for me to heal: the nature of everything made it hard to talk about these things openly without having proof lined up. By making this post, I am allowing myself to open up, to be clear about my boundaries, to be able to be honest with people and say "sorry, I can't follow you because you reblog her stuff sometimes and that makes me have panic attacks." Yes, there is some small amount of petty satisfaction to be made making this post; but that is only its very last purpose.
I want to end the post on some positive information:
I am doing alright now. I was able to move out in March and adopted a kitty in April. I am in therapy and have been able to discuss this whole issue extensively. I have a close friend group within the fandom now, who I have been able to rely on, again and again. Thank you so much, everyone - you know who you are <3
And I was going to end with an image of the kitty but :c hit image limit. So, have a good day, everyone.
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notes from someone who stopped Maladaptive Daydreaming
I maladaptive daydreamed almost all my waking hours from about age 9 to 29. That's a lot. I stopped in the last year.
There's not a lot of research on the phenomena, but it's been suggested that it's because of childhood trauma, that's definitely the case for me. It's a form of dissociation.
BUT I have been dealing with said trauma and as an unintended (and kind of sad honestly) consequence I don't maladaptive daydream anymore
This isn't advice on how to stop or not stop, but rather my observations of what happened
Very slowly, over time, I was able to think about myself, my social relationships and my job for longer periods of time without the daydreams taking over. I slowly was able to go longer without listening to music (to trigger daydreaming) until I realized I was going full days without listening to anything, and that's when I realized how little time I was spending in my brain worlds.
I used to walk constantly to trigger the bilateral stimulation that took my daydreaming to the VERY TOP OF THE CHARTS. Over this years this has looked as healthy as getting a walk in every day, and as unhealthy as walking in below 0 temperature (hello Chicago weather) for hours
Now I still do walk every day, because I walk to work and try to get a walk in otherwise, but I don't feel anxious if I don't. And even when I do walk, I'm often thinking about my own life not my stories
I used to listen to music constantly, and listen to the same songs over and over to trigger specific scenes that I imagined the same way hundreds of times. At my undergrad college I had a reputation (like a wide spread reputation, with people I didn't know) for walking around campus wit headphones on looking pissed, but I was just dissociating. It was a not a good reputation to have. I listened to music at the grocery store, walking alone at night and at times chose not to leave the house because I couldn't find my headphones
Now I do listen to music a lot because it really helps with writing, but I don't listen to music in public which made me realize I was missing a lot of social cues because of it, like someone saying "excuse me!" in the grocery store aisle was going over my head
Not listening to music constantly let's me actually feel part of the world I'm in instead of trying to shoot out of it. It also lets me eavesdrop and notice other people, which has helped a lot with writing characters and conflicts
When my daydreaming was most intense I didn't write anything more than a half hearted oneshot for 5 years. However, I had these amazing rich worlds inside my head that felt so much better than actually writing (or so I thought)
Now I write constantly and quickly, I just wrote 50,000 words in three weeks. I pulled from scenes I'd imagined over and over, but once I wrote them down I realized they didn't actually work in a written narrative, which was disappointing but let me finally move on from scenarios I'd imagined to death which was kind a relief
When considering addressing my daydreaming I worried that I wouldn't be able to write as well without it. But it turns out I don't have to imagine a scene three dozen times to write it, I can just write it.
Writing is less chemically pleasurable than daydreaming, I will not lie. But then you have something you can enjoy and share with others.
I do miss the ability to crawl into my own brain and curl up there for as long as I needed to feel safe, but I just feel safe now and that might be a worthwhile trade off.
#maladaptive daydreaming#dissociation#writing#idk if anyone will engage with this but i have been wanting to talk about it somehow
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Blog Post #3
Blog Post Week 3
Should there be greater measures in place to prevent false identifications by surveillance?
While government and corporate surveillance efforts may be used to track individuals or simply advertise more effectively, identification software used such as facial recognition software or preliminary software used to detect possible threats such as health care fraud like the one mentioned in Eubanks’ Automating Inequality article can cause unwarranted stress. These measures can create false identifications of threats resulting in time and money spent by the victim to fight these results, but also possible blacklists that could ruin their lives. These possibilities make it more than necessary for the implementation of greater measures to prevent false identifications.
Could the Constitution be used to fight government and corporation observation?
The 4th Amendment protects against unreasonable searches and seizures in order to protect one’s security and the security of their property. Government and corporate observation allows for tracking a user’s activity on the internet, akin to just watching someone move around and not searching their possessions. However, if the government or a company is to search through downloaded files or record specific downloaded activity, that could be considered as a person’s property. It could be stated that they are unreasonably carrying out a search of someone’s property. If this logic were to stand in court, it appears that certain government and corporate surveillance could be deemed unconstitutional.
Should companies be held liable for technological mishaps that result in problems for users such as Insurance being incorrectly canceled?
Technological problems that cause unwarranted stress on the consumer such as that which was described in Eubanks’ Automating Inequality create burdens that harm consumers. The issue of solving these errors should not be left on the shoulders of those who are hapless victims and should instead be placed on the shoulders of the company who had these errors happen either intentionally or unintentionally. It is necessary for companies to gain greater insight into algorithmical glitches in their software and have better, quicker backups made to fix unintended problems as problems with Insurance companies can quickly ruin the lives of someone simply because a company did not see themselves at fault despite causing the problem.
How should the right to privacy be protected?
The right to privacy should be protected through greater limitations on the observations of the public. Since observation of the public allows for greater safety across the nation and lessens the likelihood of terrorist attacks through data collection designed to determine if someone is likely to harm others, it is necessary to keep limited public observation in the modern age to combat the newer threats that plague society. However, corporations collect data in a way that creates a “tension between the political economy required to mass produce the infrastructure of the Internet and its reliance on the exploited labor” as companies steal data from users in order to make a greater profit (Daniels, 105). The threat of leaked data and the abusive relationship between corporations and the public without any upsides necessitates the creation of laws designed to punish corporations for doing this.
References
Daniels, J. (2009). Rethinking Cyberfeminism(s): Race, Gender, and Embodiment. The Feminist Press
Eubanks, Automating Inequality.pdf
Savey, E. (2020, November 8). List of the 27 Amendments. Constitution of the United States. https://constitutionus.com/constitution/amendments/constitutional-amendments/
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Thank you for the time and care you put into your politics and history posts! They're a big part of what I love about Tumblr: it's a place that can introduce me to new ideas and perspectives, and give me enough of a roadmap to them that I feel equipped to go learn more on my own when the subject really grabs me. It's a fantastic thing that you're doing for the world, genuinely a service for the rest of us!
That said, I do have a small request, that you're of course welcome to choose to ignore if you'd rather; your posts are a gift freely given and I'm not here to make demands as if you owe us more. But, I'd like to ask you to reconsider using the term sociopath to describe public figures. It's a contemporary diagnosis applied to a hugely stigmatized misunderstood mental illness, and the people living with it and trying to recover/improve themselves face enormous stigma and personal struggle. To apply it casually to Trump as a way to easily encapsulate his uniquely horrible behavior contributed to that stigma in a direct way. Please consider learning a bit more about what someone diagnosed with APD today goes through, what the internal experience of that struggle is like, or at the very least just choosing a descriptor that isn't medicalized to talk about public figures whose evils go way beyond the scope of a personality disorder.
Again, thank you for what you give us all, it really is so valuable!
Thanks for your kind words, and for your request. I do always try to honestly consider these things when they are brought up to me, as I do understand (obviously) that something I casually dash off can have an unintended effect to the people who read it later or are unfamiliar with what I mean. And, of course, as someone with mental illnesses of different sorts, I am aware of all that stigma and don't intend to casually contribute to it.
That said, I do think Trump obviously, clinically exhibits traits of both psycho/sociopathy and narcissistic personality disorder (just reading the introductions to both those Wiki articles will make you go "yeah, uh, sounds like Trump.") So while I'm willing to use a different word than sociopath if it would help get my point across, it's not the case that I'm just arbitrarily picking a serious mental illness to use in a derogatory way; I'm commenting on something that I think actually reflects and indeed, contextualizes his behavior in an important way. There are certainly people who struggle with these disorders and make good-faith efforts to fix them. Trump is not one of those people. And while yes, he has many, many issues that go way beyond the scope of a personality disorder, they certainly contribute to his pattern of behavior, and I don't think it's wrong or incorrect to point that out. However, I will attempt to make the distinction clear if it should later arise.
Thanks! I hope this makes sense to you.
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DMing you is something I've been considering for a while. It's a bit scary. It has its + and - but it makes sense to do it.
However, I have already told you that you hurt my feelings by being rude to me out of nowhere. You said I made it up for shits n giggles, assured me you were extremely self-critical and always owned up to your mistakes, assured me that it was impossible that you were rude to anyone throughout your entire chat history, accused me of lying again and said it was just trolling and mind games.
So I guess it covers every topic I wanted to discuss with you and gives me all the answers. You are absolutely sure everything you say is right and I am wrong to be hurt.
I don't think you or anyone would DM a person after that. Unless there's anything you want to add, thanks for this convo.
If you could DM me and SPECIFY said incidents that upset you, I'm sure we could come to some form of diplomatic resolution. I'm willing to have a cathartic dialogue, even apologize for any unintended wrongdoing on my end. But we will never come to that level of understanding unless you try. And the more you attack me, the harder it's going to be.
This is the last public message I'm offering you. DM me if you wish. I'm offering that opportunity to you in good faith if you actually mean what you say. Otherwise, all further messages will be disregarded. You've said some genuinely hurtful and nasty things to me that go beyond any perceived "rudeness" on my end. Things that were irregular and unprompted and given no context at all. Which, I'm sorry, isn't an appropriate response. It's harassment. So unless you'd like to peacefully resolve this on a private channel, I don't have any more reason to keep entertaining this.
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