#unfortunately yes i was thinking about shrek

[notnyuknyuk]

"Put me down and let me go, you bastard!"

In your time as the typical fairytale princess stuck in tower, you'd encountered many different sorts of knights from all over the kingdoms who came to "rescue" you with varying degrees of success. You're not sure what bug bit your father to have the bright idea of declaring whoever saved you from dragon imprisonment (he put you there in the first place!) would be the heir to the kingdom, but it's been years and a hundred would be suitors later, he's gotten no closer to finding a successor.

Your father was probably regretting capturing such a fierce and mighty black dragon to guard said tower. Half of the knights were scared off by him before even arriving and another quarter was burnt and dropped off the tower by the protective, winged, fire breathing beast. You were perfectly happy with the arrangement - how dare your father even try to make you some ridiculous prize for these pompous excuses of knights anyway! So what if you were stuck in the tower? It was better than stuck in an arranged marriage.

Unfortunately there was still the other quarter: the knights who somehow managed to get past the dragon, snatch you from the tower and escape. Although this was more of your dragon's negligence than actual heroism on their part.

Sometimes you get the good knights. The ones that actually care about your wellbeing and ask if you're okay when you get "saved". Of course none of them are ever genuinely nice in the end; when your dragon finally caught up some would reveal themselves to be cowards who'd rather ditch you and run, or just turn out to be arrogant royal wannabes.

Then some... you get the ones like him, the one who had so rudely climbed in, threw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and was now speeding away on horseback with no regard to how precariously and uncomfortably you were positioned.

"Sorry, no can do, your highness." The apology, the title, everything was sarcastic and dismissive. You huffed. "I'm trying to save your ungrateful - I'm trying to save us from the black dragon after us here!"

"Black dragon?" You perk up and scan the skies hopefully. "Where?!"

Black dragon was a misnomer, really. Your beloved Seishu had the whitest pearl of scales that glimmered like the moon, with a pale pinkish underside and eyes greener than the surrounding woods. It was more of an archetype - he was humongous, fierce and did more than hoard treasure. You spotted him almost immediately, swooping down from above. Finally!

Your true saviour and whatever love story your idiot father thought he could cultivate would never be with any of the knights that broke into your tower. You'd take your quiet, stoic gentleman anyday over riches and queenhood.

The dragon easily overtakes the knight's steed and dives like a hunting eagle. The horse rears with a scream and throws the both of you off violently before running like the sensible creature it was. With a groan you pick yourself off the ground, rubbing at your sore head; alas and alack the knight was not as sensible and drew his sword with a shout.

You were rather disappointed when he remained unfazed by Seishu's blinding transformation into the tall, cold human you knew and loved, clad in his own suit of black and gold armour that had you sighing dreamily internally. Seishu's human form was almost identical to a normal person's if not for the glinting scales still trailing from his neck down and a thin tail hanging.

Clearly the knight had known he'd be dealing with no ordinary dragon. "Back, you foul thing. This princess is coming with me."

A vein throbbed in Seishu's forehead. He appeared more bored than anything, languidly resting his hand on the hilt of his own sword as if he had all the time in the world. "I believe that princess is mine. If you're reasonable we can make this quick."

By quick he means you surrender and leave so I don't have to waste my time beating you to a pulp.

"Oh boy." You discreetly made your way to behind Seishu, eyeing the knight with disdain. These sorts of things weren't uncommon to you - you had full confidence Seishu would deal with the pest quite easily - but you'd really rather not spend your day this way. Ah well, you might as well take a seat with a sigh.

Predictably the knight does not want to go quietly. "If it's a duel for the maiden you want, it's a duel you'll get, dragon!"

"If you insist." Seishu doesn't bother hiding his exasperation. He's always been blunt anyway. His glance back at you is full of tender worry though. "Are you alright, princess? I hope he didn't hurt you."

You just about swoon, but you don't, because you wouldn't have had time to - not with Seishu disarming the poor knight with ease in a flash and sent him on his humiliating way, clad in nothing but...we'll, whatever fire breath didn't melt off. Even in a form as dangerous as this Seishu was oh so gentle and patient in waiting for you to clamber onto his back and take off to the skies, back to the tower you're so reluctant to leave.

"What took you so long?!"

A side eye at the languid black cat by the window. "I apologize, Koko took some time to track me down. I was...attending to my hoard."

It'd be a home and never a prison if you could stay like this forever. Just you, him and Koko in the tower, unbothered. Life was simple and pleasant, if only because no one could ever beat Seishu.

Until that Taiju Shiba came along.

[jayflrt]

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝟕𝟖𝟔 37. go piss girl

YOUR HEART WAS POUNDING WHEN YOU HEARD THE LIGHT KNOCK ON YOUR CABIN DOOR.

It wasn't that you were nervous—okay, maybe you were a little nervous—but it felt as if butterflies had swarmed your stomach with their fluttering wings. Now, the space really did feel small. You weren't sure how Jay was going to fit in the same seat as yours, but the idea was strangely exciting.

"Hey," you whispered when you pulled open the door for him. You scooted to the wall so that you could make some more space for him. "I just pulled up the movie."

"Oh, we're actually watching Shrek," Jay deadpanned. When he took his seat and closed the door again, you both became hyper-aware of the proximity once your arms were pressed against each other. "Kinda cramped in here."

"It should be fine," you said quickly, trying to mask how flustered you were by gesturing toward the screen. "Look, they have all three movies!"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not staying around for three whole movies."

You shot him a dark look, feigning great offense as you folded your arms across your chest. Jay seemed to not realize the weight of his words until after seeing your reaction, and he immediately flooded with panic.

"Wait, I meant, like—not that, just—"

"Relax, I'm just messing with you." You giggled, diverting your attention away to start the movie. "Have you ever watched Shrek before? I used to watch it every single day when I was a kid, apparently."

"Really?"

"Yeah, my mom was mortified when I wanted to"—you turned back to look at him and your breath caught in your throat for a moment; Jay was looking down at you with those sincere eyes that were far too easy to get lost in—"dress up as Shrek for Halloween."

"Shrek, huh? Did you ever get to dress up as him?"

"No, I ended up being Fiona. All of my friends back then were dressing up like princesses, and my mom wanted to dress me up."

"Ouch. Well, you can be Shrek this year."

"You'd have to be my Princess Fiona then."

"Whatever you want."

His eyes went a touch unfocused, and you started to get the feeling that he didn't exactly care about Shrek costumes anymore. You weren't even completely sure he was talking about them.

You only started realizing it recently, but why did he always look at you like that?

Like he wanted to kiss you.

You couldn't pinpoint it before because you weren't really looking. It was hard to catch most of the time because he was so well-guarded, but in fractions of seconds, you could catch him looking into your eyes as if they held the world, as if he would fall apart if he tore his gaze away.

So, hypothetically, if you made a move on him, it wouldn't be a completely miscalculated step, right? It was obvious something was going on between you two, and there were clear signs, right? You weren't clinically insane?

Your mind was swimming with questions when you realized that almost half of the movie had gone by, and you were zoning out for its entirety. Reality only sharpened when you realized Jay had leaned back to put his arm around your shoulders. Unfortunately, now you couldn't care less about Shrek and Donkey; you could only think about how warm Jay's body was and how hot your chest felt.

Your chest must have been rising and falling too fast because Jay asked, "Are you good? Am I taking up too much room?"

"No! You're good, it's just a little tight in here—yeah, that's all," you replied absentmindedly.

"Oh, well..." He looked around helplessly. (There wasn't much to look at, anyway.) "Wanna sit on my lap?"

Your heart jumped, leaped, imploded—whatever. So much adrenaline was pumping through your blood that you hardly even processed whether you replied to him or not. All you knew was that you were climbing onto Jay's lap before he could even get adjusted.

"Whoa," he murmured, holding onto your hips to keep you steady (but all he managed to do was ignite a fire inside you). "I thought you said no."

"Did I? Sorry, I mix up yes and no sometimes." What the hell? No, you don't, your brain reminded immediately after.

He grinned. "Oh, yeah, common mistake."

You were too busy staring straight ahead and trying to ignore how badly you wanted to crumble into his arms that you nearly jumped when you heard Jay's soft chuckle against your back.

His hands slid up to your waist, and he murmured into your ear, "I'm gonna move you to sit between my legs—hold on."

(Normally, this would make you horny, but Lord Farquaad and Gingy were getting into their exchange of The Muffin Man nursery rhyme that never failed to make you laugh.)

"This good?" Jay asked once you two were settled. You were leaning back against his chest as you laid between his legs. Jay had his hands on his thighs, but you swore they were inching closer to you.

"Really good."

"Yeah?"

His pointer finger grazed your skin ever-so-slightly, and you fought the urge to press your thighs together. After all, you didn't want him to think his hands weren't welcome. As you two fell into complete silence, watching the movie but not really watching it, you found that Jay's hand was getting closer and closer until four of his fingers were on your thigh.

He used this time to ask (in a much lower voice now), "How about this?"

"Yeah," you breathed out, your voice hitching in an almost humiliating way, and you could feel Jay's chest swell as his hand moved fully onto your thigh. "I like that."

The movie was nearing its end by now, and you were both still silently watching, Jay's hand hardly moving from your thigh. There were a few times where he moved it down, only to bring it back up again, but you were careful not to react in a way that would make things awkward.

But when you realized that he was probably going to leave, you figured this was your chance to make him stay, to see if things could progress. Wasn't this the perfect time, anyway? With everyone asleep and a cabin to yourself, this was probably the most privacy you would get for the weekend.

You turned your head just enough to look up at him, and those butterflies swarmed around in a torrent when his gaze dropped to your lips for a brief second. You straightened up a little to place your hand on his shoulder, angling your body a little to face him.

"Um," you started in a small voice, "do you wanna stay a little longer?"

Jay's hand moved up to grip your inner thigh with just enough pressure to keep you at a comfortable angle, and, again, you fought down the gasp. "With you?"

You smiled. "Yeah."

The space between you two was getting smaller and smaller. It was as if some magnetic pull was drawing your bodies closer and closer... and your lips were inches apart... and then Jay jerked away, as if he had snapped out of some trance.

"I can't, sorry," he said quickly, removing his hand from your thigh to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. "It—it's getting late, and I should really get some sleep before we land."

Disappointed, you started moving so that he could have an easier time getting out of your cabin. You were half-expecting things to end up like this; moving fast with him wasn't going to work, but at least you knew now that he definitely felt some way about you.

"Goodnight," you told him, managing a smile. "Thanks for keeping me company."

"Yeah, it was fun."

He gave you that look again before closing your cabin door. You felt yourself deflate a little. It was an odd feeling, but you felt lonely when he was gone. You never really felt this way about Sunghoon since you got used to the loneliness, but Jay, who made an effort even as your friend, made you feel different.

Suddenly, your cabin door flew open again, and Jay was standing with regret painted all over his face.

"Look, I didn't mean to do all that and just back off," he said in a rush, sitting at the edge of your seat so that he could mutter everything to you in a low voice. "I just... it's hard right now, like, right now, as in—"

"Stop," you said, smiling ear-to-ear as your chest flooded with relief. Yeah, maybe you just needed to move a little slower. "I get it, don't worry."

"It's not that I don't..." he trailed off, gazing at you with deep longing etched in his eyes before he sighed. "Just... doing this right now is—"

"Jay, please," you tried again, reaching out to grab his hand. You tilted your head. "You can just make it up to me later. We can grab dinner in Monte Carlo?"

He seemed to be much less distressed now, merely sighing with contentment and nodding over and over again. "Yeah, let's do that."

"Goodnight, Jay," you sang with a teasing lilt to your voice.

"Goodnight, Y/N."

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SUMMARY ▸ private investigator jay park just wants to complete his mission quietly and move on with his life. you, his new assignment who keeps consuming his thoughts, don't make that very easy for him.

TAG LIST ▸ @zdgx1 @smouches @heesdazed @teawithbucky @leep0ems @peachpie4you @niniissus @kgneptun @jaeyunluvr @zerasari @sophiko22 @iselltulips @hoondiors @baekhyunstruly @jays-property @woninluv @heerinnie @fakeuwus @yizhoutv @theothernads @y4wnjunz @dammit-jjk @en-happiness @mari-oclock @soonyoungblr @jakeslvt @taetaenic @jebetwo @fairysungx @hsgwrld @shmooooo @ineedsomezzz @mrowww @enha-stars @seongclb @lockburn-castle @alyssajavenss @enczen @calumsfringe @w3bqrl @luvyev @uhsakusa @luvnicho @wildflowermooon @navsnct @hooniesuniverse @enhalov @enhypens-baby @isawritesss

[splatooshy]

what kind of music/artists/bands do you think the scooby gang + the originals would listen to in the early seasons?

OH OH OH

well we know from canon that even without humanity, damon can & will listen to taylor swift without complaint. even though he’s perfectly capable of compelling a music change.

& he listens to depeche mode so he’s automatically cool.

i think the salvatores have very wide tastes, but not much overlap. stefan loves bon jovi to an unhealthy degree, and would probably have been a BIG beach boys fan back in the day. he’s totally over it now though, those records in his cupboard are purely decorative!! damon would love ABBA, head over heels reminds him of katherine & he uses it to outsource his emotions in his no humanity era. stefan tolerates it for lexi’s sake (damon thinks it’s unfortunate that he and lexi have similar music taste. it’s probably the only thing he likes about her). also the cure.

i think stefan cries to bon iver’s ‘roslyn’.

both stefan and damon would be into stevie nicks & florence + the machine & paramore & david bowie (damon in fact knew him rather well back in the seventies…) but in totally different ways. damon loves anthems & grooves, discordant sounds and triplet beats, while stefan digs a good beat & steady rhythm. with a fabulous guitar riff ofc.

bonnie is also a big paramore girly. also hozier. i think she and damon bond over similar music tastes.

caroline listens to taylor swift (fearless is her fav, red & 1989 are 2&3), one direction, jonas brothers, miley, britney etc. she bullies politely asks jeremy to let her use his tech stuff to make her own mixes. she also has a hot pink boombox that she takes to every cheer practice. it’s covered in stickers that won’t come off no matter how hard she tries. yes, vampire strength has been applied.

elena spent the three months between the crash & stefan blasting dean lewis in her bedroom. hozier, bon jovi to seem cool to stefan, janis joplin, probably some british pop like dexys midnight runners, ed sheeran, bastille. but that’s a secret she’ll take to her grave.

jeremy listens to 21 pilots, mcr, p!atd, bleachers (later seasons tho. don’t think they existed til 2015 or something), the neighbourhood, arctic monkeys, fallout boy, etc. probably listens to sheppard on repeat. geronimo just really speaks to him, okay?! absolutely does not copy damon’s taste in music, that’s just a coincidence!!! he’s also the source of elena’s secret love for british pop.

matt listens to elevator music. nah he just plays whatever’s on the radio. my truck is my girlfriend & my dog has fleas kind of country music? idk.

tyler has all of those mix cds like sofresh, each 00s / 90s genre, really does not care what he listens to as long as he can nod his head along.

alaric listens to 80s rock in a dad way & whatever damon plays because damon has dj rights everywhere & will push his way onto the aux.

not really in the gang but katherine listens to male manipulator music. and female manipulator music like ethel cain, fiona apple, etc.

the originals?

klaus listens to smooth jazz. and instrumental covers. he’ll text stefan a link to the lamest love song ever (instrumental) with the caption ‘this is our song’.

kol also listens to smooth jazz, but in a cool way. as well as 00s pop. he and rebekah fight over who discovered what song first. he would absolutely LOVE musicals. has the glee & hamilton soundtracks on his little ipod. BOY BANDS OMG kol has a backstreet boys poster confirmed. also 90s-00s hip hop / rap / pop hybrids. especially nelly furtado.

OH OH THE SHREK SOUNDTRACK. that’s his jam fr fr.

rebekah is a speak now girly through and through. ‘innocent’ is literally her song. she’s just so taylor swift. she would LOVE suki waterhouse, but that’s not for another few years. OH WAIT REBEKAH’S CANONICALLY ALIVE IN 2024. she absolutely listens to chappell roan and it DEFINITELY does not make her think of hayley, why would you say that???

elijah listens to eight hour long symphonies and concertas, but won’t complain if one of the others is hogging the aux. he will not be so childish as to dagger his siblings over music disputes, (klaus), or break their arms (rebekah), thank you very much. he only demands control of the music when damon’s trying to seduce him (succeeding), because elijah knows how to woo & be wooed in return. that includes the romantic playlist. also, damon has a very annoying habit of singing along & playing air guitar when the bridge hits just right, usually whilst there is a cock in his ass.

finn likes renaissance fair music. he considers it to be contemporary, as he was daggered during this period.

[telleroftime]

The Little Mermaid, specifically 'Poor Unfortunate Souls', but Bowser is the one getting turned into a human because he wants to be with Peach and "the only way to get what [he] wants is to become a human [himself]" but in the end that's not true and he ends up as his normal self because self-love and self-worth and Reader prefers his normal self. And yes because Reader would win him over.

Actually, this could fall under Shrek 2. I think it was Shrek 2 when Shrek becomes a human.

(I'm thinking more about this and I don't want to reveal my thoughts incase I do write this up because I'm thinking back to the original story, not the Disney movie. But if you wanna hear more I can make a proper blurb - I think it counts as a blurb - of the plot I'm thinking about).

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Shrek 3 and 4

The wild gendered expectations they have on Pinocchio to hate dinner theatre LMAO

"I am the rightful King of Far Far Away." On what grounds, Prince Charming?

Why does Shrek have to do all the knighting and christening of boats when Fiona is the royal heir? Even in Shrek we cannot escape the misogyny of inheritance laws

"Imagine an Ogre baby. They extra cry, and they extra poop." This is unfortunate foreshadowing for how many babies they're gonna have

"I am proud to call you my Frog-King Dad-in-Law." Ghkjhgkjhg Shrek is as preoccupied with Harold being a frog as Harold was with him being an Ogre

"You and Fiona are next in line for the throne." Again, I feel like Fiona has this whole like, princess her whole life thing going for her. Why does Shrek need to be ruling in any way

NOT KING HAROLD BEING SENT TO REST IN YE OLDE FOOT LOCKER BOX:

Why has Doris been thrown out of the bar!! Who is Mabel!!

"And you, Frumpypigskin." "Rumplestiltskin." "Where's that firstborn you were promised?" I think this is supposed to be foreshadowing for the next Shrek movie

"How does it happen?" said Donkey, as if he did not have at least five children (six if we count the missing baby, whose name is apparently Éclair)

"My stomach aches and my palm just got sweaty. Must be a high school." Relatable. Also the implication that Shrek went to high school. Was it an Ogre high school or a general high school for fairytale creatures

"My friend Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly. And she thought perchance you would ask her to the homecoming dance." Tiffany confirming that the Shrekfucker community is alive and well

Not Arthur Pendragon being bullied by the nerds omg

Fgjkhkghkgjh Guin being repulsed by Arthur. Rough

I guess we know where Doris is!! At Fiona's baby shower

"I got you the biggest one, because I love you the most." HAHAHAHA not Snow White giving Fiona a PERSON as a present

HAHAHAHAHA I love Pinnochio double negativing Charming into confusion

"He'll never fall for your tricks!" [Nose grows] Pinocchio knows Shrek is very gullible

Most of Shrek's problems are related to just being too strong to handle his own body

How long does Shrek think he can hide the fact there are other heirs to the throne. Does he think if he waits til they're in Far Far Away, Artie won't turn back?

"Somebody help! I've been kidnapped by a monster trying to relate to me." This movie strongly feels like it was written by the parent of a teenager LMAO

"Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex." Me trying to talk to my parents

"My dad wasn't really the fatherly type either." 1) The plot of this movie is simply Daddy Issues: Shrek Edition and 2) Are we finally going to find out where some of the other Ogres are?

I guess we have taken until the third movie to confirm that some, if not most, Ogres, are pro-eating each other, at least. Shrek's father said, I put you in this world, I can take you out

"People used to think I was a monster. And for a long time, I believed them. But after a while, you learn to ignore the names that people call you, and you just trust who you are." SOMETHING SOMETHING METAPHORS FOR OPPRESSION SOMETHING SOMETHING MY HEART

"That Charming makes me hotter than July." Why did Rapunzel say 'ew,' isn't she the one that Charming calls Kitten Whiskers lmao

Update from 30 seconds later: I got an immediate answer to this question in the form of Rapunzel betraying them

Also: Is the topiary supposed to be Lillian or is the implication Charming's first act in this coup was to replace the garden sculptures jkhgkjhg. I've been thinking it for a while but Lillian and Charming really do have the same hair and general face shape:

"Shrek will be back soon, and you'll be sorry." Fiona why do you need Shrek, you can take out a band of ten Merry Men by yourself!! Are you hesitant to fight because you're pregnant? This movie should really be about Fiona and not Shrek

"Get yourself back to Worcestershire, kid." Bold of them to choose this name for Artie's hometown hahahah

HAHAHAHA Artie defeats Merlin's magical insecurities by having a tantrum

Efhjkfhkfjh the implication that Donkey has been suppressing his inner heehaw for two whole movies. Poor Puss in Boots

"He's a star, people! Hello? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek." Artie's best quality as a leader is his ability to think on his feet

"I wasn't right for the job. I just needed some fool to replace me." IT'S A GOOD THING YOU'RE NOT THE ROYAL HEIR OF FAR FAR AWAY SHREK, FIONA IS! IT'S HER THRONE AND HER DECISION, U DINK

Shout-out to Cinderella's slowly dwindling mental health, she's got some of the most labour-intense and psychologically difficult backstory kghkhjg

Oh hell yeah Julie Andrews as Mama Lillian showing where Fiona got her fighting skills

"Okay girls, from here on out, we're gonna take care of business ourselves." AS THEY SHOULD!

HAHAHAHAH Snow White's singing scene is all I remember from this movie. Get 'em girls!!!

Cinderella throwing her glass shoe, Sleeping Beauty tripping them with her narcolepsy, Doris tripping the men up with her leg that didn't fit into the shoe. I love that the mechanisms of their fighting are the same as their confines in the story

"Shrek only said those things to protect you." And because they were true! He was also dishonest with Arthur lmao

Awwww the Shrek fan club in the audience. He really is a beloved by the people, in his way

"If you don't mind, could you kill me, and then sing?" Charming really should've put a muzzle on Shrek if he wanted him to be a silent participant in this play

Shrek's strongest asset by far is the community of people he and Fiona have built (the fairy tale creatures, the princesses, Doris, the dragon, the citizens of Far Far Away)

"Don't you ever wish you could be something else [other than a villain]?" Arthur yet again comes through with his gift of gab

"What Steve's trying to say is it's hard to come by honest work when the whole world's against you." Steve and Ed the Evil Trees raise very point

"I grow daffodils, and they're beautiful." Love this for Captain Hook

"It's yours if you want, you know. But this time it's your choice." WHY IS IT NOT FIONA'S CHOICE!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE NOT THE PRINCE, SHREK!!!!

You know, if the only remaining complication of switching bodies is losing your tail for a bit, that's not the worst

"I think the kid's going to be a great king." "Well, for what it's worth, you would have too." SO WOULD YOU, FIONA, AS HEIR TO THIS KINGDOM!!!! Raised as a princess!! The plot of this movie is so bizarre

I love how much Lillian loves her weird little family. No Judgement Mum

Tag yourself, I'm the "Where's the Baby" Dwarf kjghjghjh

Well, even if it's not something Fiona specifically identified as wanting for herself instead of ruling, I'm happy they get to have their happy little family in the swamp and a nap

Onto: Shrek 4

I will not lie to you, I am mostly watching the fourth Shrek because I went to Shrek trivia and we missed a bunch of questions related to the fourth movie LOL

Why does the animation look so funky in this one? It's giving a bit of Monster by Mistake/direct-to-video sequel

How are Shrek's babies old enough to speak but Donkey's still look the same even though they're at least 9 months older?

Is the plot of this, much like the second Incredibles movie, 'I can't believe that I, a father, have to parent'

I know people have been committing Ogre Microaggressions all day and that he wasn't the first to destroy the cake (Donkey licked and the Pigs ate the first one) but what kind of a father destroys his own children's birthday cake. Get some therapy, Shrek

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, it's not like you're a real Ogre. You spent half your life in a palace." "And the other half locked away in a tower." 1) What a thing to say to someone who became an ogre permanently FOR YOU, and 2) She got a point there, Shrek

"You have three beautiful children, a wife who loves you, friends who adore you. You have everything." Shrek said: God Fiona, have you ever heard of an introvert

Lmao @ this movie retconning the fact that Shrek and Rumplestiltskin have already encountered each other when Arthur took the throne

Shrek representing the very real experience of not reading the terms and conditions every time you sign off:

"It's me, Shrek, your best friend." After four movies Shrek finally admits that Donkey is his best friend hahaha

Gingey being in a cookie fighting league jkhfkfh on brand for him

Why is there such a large proportion of witches in Rumpelstiltskin's palace hahaha, I get that there were more than a few, but Rumpelstiltskin seems to hang with witches exclusively?

"I ended Fiona's curse." Technically yes, but did u really Shrek? You just ended the switcheroo to her original human form, not the resultant transformation

I gotta say, the soundtrack moments in this film are so far a lot weaker, BUT I do love Shrek rescuing Donkey, His Best Friend Who Doesn't Know Him, and covering his eyes as they go through the roof:

As if to challenge me on that last point, they had Shrek sing an off-key rendition of "You've Got a Friend," which was delightful

Donkey looks particularly off in this movie and I've just realized it's because of the texture of his fur. It was smooth and growing in a similar direction for three movies, and now it's super coarse and messy

"You should never sign a contract with Rumpelstiltskin." Not Donkey having more common sense than Shrek HAHA

"You gonna have to take me to dinner first." I will take this as Donkey coming out as bisexual

"Fate has delivered us a comrade-in arms and for that we are thankful." The implication that Ogres do have a society and Shrek just chooses to never interact with them bc HIS FAMILY is the only one who loves terrorizing is VERY FUNNY

I love how Shrek also seems to be one of the smallest Ogres. Little man

I thought the idea of Fiona staying an Ogre was for her to subvert the beauty standard (which like, another conversation, 'cause she looks fine as an ogre) but they had to make a point of her being a sexy warrior ogre HAHA:

(I can see why this film didn't do that well with audiences)

Why is Fiona the ONLY female ogre? Where are the women!!

"Well, I see who wears the chainmail in your family," said Donkey, both correct about Fiona's fighting prowess and unaware that his wife is a Dragon ten times his size

Took me a sec to realize why the water would be threatening to the witches kjhgjghjgh (not poison, just dealing with Dorthy Dousing Disease)

OHHH Cookie is an Ogre who loves cooking, I had wondered about that in the Shrek trivia

"Shrek, do my babies have hooves or talons?" Donkey is SO excited to be a father!! I love that for him

Lmao @ them suggesting Shrek stresses Puss into being physically fit with the fights he causes

"[Candy]'d work on me." I guess there is another woman Ogre, but not with a scanty outfit! Only Fiona gets Ogregectification

I do love the falling in love while sparring. Couples MMA league:

I love that Puss in Boots is immediately Team Shrek/Fiona

"You are a catastrophe." "And you, are re-donkulous." [Shared laughter] Hahaha I like that the only obstacle in Puss and Donkey's friendship was they needed to meet sooner to avoid the competition for Shrek's attention

"I can't believe I let this happen, and it's all because of you." In fairness to Shrek, no one could see inside the carriage

They spent the entire animation budget on this frame of Puss in Boots:

I do like them subverting the expectation that just a kiss would solve their problems when love is what they need

"Then where were you, when I needed you?" Thinking of ways to become an absentee father

"Please stay tuned for a message from our tyrannical dictator." I wish all political announcements were this honest

There is something fun about the circling back to Shrek 1 Mob

"If your life was so perfect, why'd you sign it all away to Rumpelstiltskin in the first place?" "Because I didn't know what I had until it was gone, alright?!" Fiona even reminded you! Get some therapy Shrek

"What are you talking 'bout, cracker?" I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY GOT AWAY WITH PUTTING THIS IN A CHILDREN'S MOVIE (point of clarification: It was said to the Gingerbread Man)

DID PUSS IN BOOTS JUST KILL GINGEY???? AH?????

"I'm just a frightened old man." "Don't listen to him, these Ogres are crafty." "That is your father painted green." Pinocchio finally gets his revenge on his dad for selling him to the Duloc Guards hahahaha

Shrek giving up his freedom to save the other Ogres 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Nobody's smart but me," said Rumpelstiltskin, while leaving the only two people who could break his spell together to fall in love:

HAHAHAHAA how could they have Trojan Horse'd Rumpelstiltskin SO QUICKLY after being freed?? It is the SAME NIGHT, 2 MOVIE MINUTES LATER:

"I'll call you! We're in love." If there's one thing Donkey is willing to do, it's commit to the bit

I love that the way they keep Dragon at bay is both a callback to the first movie and a callback to the phrase Fiona has tied knots with throughout the movie. A rare moment of good writing it in this funny little movie

I guess in lieu of Shrek's other friends knowing him, it's an Ogre-only revolution

"Looks like we're having curly-toed weirdo for breakfast." So ogres eat ogres AND people. Four movies for someone to confirm it explicitly!!

"You know what the best part of today was? I got the chance to fall in love with all over again." A very sweet reflection about a problem Shrek caused himself

Lillian is genuinely so accepting of her bizarre family 💞 She doesn't care if she married a frog or if her grandkids are ogres

I can't believe they saved two of the best soundtrack songs and this fun character montage of moments throughout the series for the end credits!

Overall, I would say I prefer the first three Shrek movies (and especially the first two) but if they put out another one, I would probably watch it LOL

[plumsaffron]

Cherry Crimson Brine Final (2-3)

Immortally Wounded

And

Improbable For Healing

return to the previous part of the finale

To Each Part Of The Story Link Here

Otherwise continue (one more part after this section)

4 Days Later NPC Cop: She got kicked out again or this time, 

thrown out the clothing store window. Earlier, people were preventing her from eating. Officer Roger: Yep I guess they want her to starve. NPC Cop: Why don't we simply send her to solitary confinement? Then she can stay there forever for her crimes. Roger: It's not that simple, son. I suggested that but you know what happened? My daughter told me they will threaten her. 

She said 2 days ago that, if any member of our force,

who puts Lila Rossi behind bars, 

will deem to use Sabrina as their toy of unrelenting torment that they planned for Lila. Officer Roger: Didn't you get a notification from the Mayor of why we can't arrest her? NPC Cop: Nope. Phone buzzing

Notification from Mayor Bustier

After Reading NPC Cop: What's wrong with these citizens. They don't want her to be away from their sight but want her to suffer but keep her alive? And they are threatening Mayor Bustier's family unless we conform to their standards and anyone else that thinks differently will pay? Officer Roger: Yes. We can't do anything about it. 

And the news is soliciting this propaganda 

and making it worse than it actually is.

NPC Cop: But isn't the evidence we know true? Officer Roger: Who knows. However, there's some problems with it. 

don't know what to believe either. 

And clues to know more information have been lost unfortunately. NPC Cop: Is she really a kid? Officer Roger: What kind of question is that? I do think she is. NPC Cop: But it's said she lies about everything and tricked 3 woman that are no longer here. Officer Roger: You don't know enough information. None of us know about what her and parents relationship is like. 

Don't go there thinking like these Parisians out there. 

Don't jump off a cliff thinking there's a net. There's a chance that this is a hoax. Still... NPC Cop: Still what?

Officer Roger: We can only do what we can.

Not let these furious Parisians go too far with her.

(At least since Sabrina told me how dangerous people are becoming, the heroes are monitoring the city. 

Trying to prevent her from being harmed. And I'll do my part).

NPC Cop: I still am perplexed. Why are they treating her worse than Chloe? I mean Chloe Bourgeois deserved it from showing off. But this Lila girl just came out from the hospital when she was previously a pitter pounded pattered pulp. They are treating her far worse than Hawk Moth 

or anymore that does worse. 

This is leaving me rather vexed.

Roger: Maybe it's not to understand 

(Maybe that's who they are).

It could be they are scapegoating her over something that they hate of the past or because the evil entity.

Hawk Moth or Chloe aren't present, and she's the winning ticket.

You could never tell why or what's the point.

(Maybe it's selective). NPC Cop: I guess people do really like deciding what's the greatest deal, even if it's just small snow from a tree that hit their heads.

Hours Later Starving Lila idling Walking npcs a side walk away They rub their heads with their heads with smiles on their faces Others put wigs on and then use scissors to cut pieces off They laugh at her and the state of her hair stating they are pleased and laughing at what Firefighter Jean Theo and a girl took joy in doing to her the other day 5 minutes later Alya: It’s Lila Nora: Let’s go the other way. Alya: Why? Nora: She’s a horrible person Alya: Not you too. Alya proceeds to walk towards Lila Nora: No. Alya: What do you think you’re doing. Nora: Mom and dad told me to keep you and the twins away from her. Alya: Step off. Angry at her older sister as she takes her away Nora: It’s for your own good. Alya: Mine or your own good. Nora: I don’t have time for this Carries Alya away like Shrek did with Fiona The Final Night The door breaks open She awakes nervous as she knows something is in her residence minute later NPC: so that’s where you been hiding. NPC 2: It’s the end of your bridge. 

You see the world would be better off without you. 

Unlike the rest of the good people of Paris, 

we don’t want to keep you caged and abused. NPC: We want you dead. Lila: You don’t have to do this to me. NPC 3: Way past that after the endless pool of lies. Infinite will end once you’re flatlined by our hands. Lila: Why do you believe this? 

What makes you hate me this much? Why?! I’m sick of this crap! I’m tired of this town trapping me and tormenting me! I’ve Had Enough Of This! Stop This! NPC: You don’t have the right to decide after the crimes you did to Adrien Agreste. NPC 2: You overgrown female. Lila: I am not. NPC 4: Like I’d believe you.

Don’t even know what your deal is. 

This is the night your misery finishes, you disgusting human lying filth. Lila: Don’t do this. NPC 3 laughing NPC 3: Ignorant Womanchild Nothing you say that will stop your immeninent immediate death.

NPC 4: Many want you to stay alive as free punching bag but me and others want to take a fresh kill. I don’t mind fulfilling what their death wish to you.

I’ll be standing proud doing the deed. NPC 2: Honestly we’ve been requested to do far worse forms of torture to you. You should know where I’m going with that. Petrified Lila NPC 3: They also wanted us to relay back of the things we promised to them that they would celebrate and call an epic quest for us legends. NPC: What a shame for a pretty face to be in a casket. 

Well you would be burned to ashes anyways or dumped into the ocean. Accept your fate, repulsive life-form. This Is Where You DIE!

Lila closes her eyes NPC: Are you praying? NPC 2: It doesn't matter. No one will save the entity. NPC 4: It's a miraculous end to the nothing’s tale

NPC 3: It's time to meet your maker. Oh wait you probably killed those and so many lives you probably replaced. Slowly opens her eyes with a smile on her face NPC 4: Smiling? This grotesques existence must have lost their mind. Lila: I haven't. I've accepted my end. NPC 3: You're lying! Lila: Four against one. Maybe you are. 

I realized that I won't be seeing anymore anyone or myself.

Me being a sacrifice for the peace and justice amongst all mankind.

I'm willing to accept my fate and the evidence against me. Lila: So make it quick. NPC: Are you mocking me?! Lila: Nope. I deserve death and torture. 

It's the path I've chosen.

Please. Finish me off. 

There's no reason for me to stay alive anymore.

If none of you don't I'll just. NPC 2: Is she?

NPC 3: BUHRREK They look towards the damage sound that NPC made NPC 2: Gguh khuh Lila kicks NPC 1 in the neck NPC 4: YOU! Tries to grab her Lila throws covers at the NPC proceeds relentless punches and jabs towards the NPC NPC 1 Tries to kick her She throws a hard object at that NPC Takes hard objects and beats the crap out of them all

After several minutes of beating the tar out of them Lila: Tell me. With a smile Lila: How about I wipe away your lifespans? You 4 can't do anything anymore. Kicks one of them Lila: How about I crush your neck with my boots? Do you want that? Lila: LOOK AT ME! Oh You Want To Look Away Now Because I Am Now Your Decision Maker?! You don't know who you are messing with. I hope you know a fragment of the crap I've been going through these days. 

I should exterminate you all for my greater good. Stops smiling stares emotionlessly When you're finished recovering, you can let yourselves out. Playtime is over for you vermin. You and all of your associates; never show your faces around my sight here again. Lila goes outside leaving them their walking to a stop Lila: It seems my body sustained too much previous damage from the previous days Seems I made it to the end of myself. Well I- falls Seeing the water (At least I ended things on my terms) As seeing her vision fading inside the water

(The last amount of control I had left...)

Click here to get the last part of this Brine Story

[kyndaris]

Puzzling Out Compatibility

Despite my reservations on dating after a string of failures and a lack of contact from hopeful suitors (both Shrek and Benoit were preoccupied with further study), I decided to stick it out for a few more months on Hinge and keep on with the search. After a few chats that went nowhere, suitor number 9 scrounged up the courage to ask me out on a date. It helped that we both had quite a few interests in common, although our weekly routines meant that it was a little hard to organise a date that suited the two of us.

Still, I accepted and we made an arrangement to meet up before his shift at work. Our meeting spot? A Japanese restaurant at one of Sydney’s major tourist traps.

Which, to be honest, was a promising start for Mr Game Master. The Japanese food, that is. Not the ‘going to to a popular bourgeois tourist trap.’ I mean, yes, the Westfield shopping centre had plenty of choices when it came to shopping and I was sorely tempted to empty out my entire savings on board games and a squishmellow Snorlax but that’s getting ahead of myself.

I arrived early at the restaurant and took a proper gander at the menu as I waited for Mr Game Master. With a job title like venue manager, I had expected something far more formal but it turned out he was in charge of a VR experience centre. Previously, he had worked in the field of escape rooms but the pandemic had seen quite a few cuts among staff and shut down actual places of work. Unfortunately, Mr Game Master was one of them.

Dressed in a polo shirt with the logo of the company on the left breast, a cosy vest and a loose slacks, I couldn’t help but feel that I was, once again, the overdressed individual. Still, I said little about it as we entered the restaurant to order.

And just like all my dates thus far, I made sure to pay for my own meal. Once we had made our order at the counter (we had both ordered rolls, although I added a side of grilled scallop that had a decent dosing of salt rather than the usual soy sauce and mayonnaise), we started to chat. Conversation was easy enough. Thankfully, Mr Game Master was also keen to let me in a few words rather than simply talk at me about the latest games or whatever else they were hyperfixated on. Which, to be honest, was a nice change of pace.

We talked generally about the rental market, and I put in a few of my observations from friends and family, the dating scene in general and a few other things that came to mind - like games or shows that were still prevalent in the pop culture zeitgeist, travel and being able to speak/ understand our mother tongue as we are both children of immigrants. I learned that he had a sister and that his parents lived in the north-west of Sydney. 

It was simple ‘getting-to-know-the-other-person’ kind of conversation. I don’t think there was any immediate attraction, per se, but I must admit I didn’t feel any kind of aversion. Which, I think, is a good sign? Goodness knows I wouldn’t know given my proclivity to supposedly judge individuals at first glance and put up barriers (we’ll get to that when it comes to Suitor Number 10). 

Once we had eaten our fill at the Japanese restaurant, we stopped for some gelato before I walked him to his place of work. It was a bit of a strange role reversal but it afforded us more time to talk and make clear our dating goals and/ or expectations. I stressed that I wasn’t someone that instantly fell for anyone and wasn’t entirely sure I’d ever had a crush on anyone, though people in my primary school had said otherwise.

But, although I didn’t tell him this, my experience overseas recently did indicate that I might feel attraction in some form or another. Which often manifests in wanting to be in the vicinity of another and enjoying their company. Unfortunately, this only seems to happen to people that are unavailable for me to actually date and might really just be an indication that I let my guard down more when I know that there’s no real risk of actual heartbreak.

Vulnerability is hard, let me tell you!

In any case, we had a few good chats about our experiences on the dating apps, although it seemed that Mr Game Master might have actually been in a proper relationship for a good long while before it fell apart because he couldn’t quite reciprocate the level of affection his then-girlfriend had and had felt guilty that he wasn’t investing as much into the relationship. 

Which, good for him to acknowledge, but does make it hard when both him and me don’t feel any deep sense of attachment on first glance. But maybe time will tell if it goes any further. More meet-ups, more chats, more getting to know each other and liking that company could possibly lead to something more.

For now, I think it might be best to consider us decent acquaintances or friends. At time of writing, we’ve set up a tenuous second date so, it’ll be interesting to see if it goes further. After all, how can one fall in love with someone they don’t know?

And in instances like these, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Especially as we’re all technically strangers, hoping to find a connection. But relationships are something that need a strong foundation to build from. Right now, Mr Game Master isn’t so important in my life that I’d miss out on the release of Final Fantasy XVI. And while that is no fault of his own, it takes time to build a tight bond. At least for me. And it’s not like I can have someone’s entire life story dumped into my lap, which I can read.

So, here’s to a few more opportunities with Mr Game Master to see where it goes. Unless, of course, it all fizzles out in no time flat and nothing happens. Which, of course, is what has continued to happen throughout my, admittedly, not-spicy romance life.

Or maybe I’ll win the lotto and be so satisfied with my life that I’ll no longer feel the need for companionship. I mean, I’m not opposed to the idea...so you know what? Here’s putting out the wish that I want to win the Powerball lottery and be set for life that I can retire and maybe self-publish a trash fantasy novel.

[acourtofquestions]

Welcome to me being an irresponsible insomniac (& making future me hate past me for this😂 because I need to read at least one chapter a day with these cliffhangers😅 & I have no introvert time these days I NEED THIS NOT SLEEP😂) and thanks to my normal annotation sources still down you get a spam post! (I really don’t expect anyone to read these but it’s kinda fun for future fangirl me to have history of “what I thought” in my first read or “when I read it” etc.)

SO, EoS (spoiler warning for anything below the “more bar of safety” ;-) Chapter 55: updates to come as I read!

— The fact Lorcan’s biggest fear is how much it would hurt Elide to see her Queen destroyed says A LOT

— Okay so Fenrys and Gavriel were able to resist the order from a distance (good to know)

— interesting that she’s calm, not firey, not icy rage

— eight against five hundred (I MEAN COME ON)

— When Fenrys first said “divide it up” I totally thought he was braiding his hair😂

— the way Rowan knew she’d suggest the key before she did, and the way he (unfortunately) meant it he would die before letting her do that to herself… but also what does he think happens with the lock (that he’ll allow?) … I just don’t trust anything to do with these mystery items

— “You don’t give me orders.”— gasps oh no she didn’t oh yes she did

— At first I thought Aedion was riling her up to stir the fire and give her more power or something, and now I conquer with Arlin’s “assessment (or should I say sass meant)” he’s just being an ass & I don’t get it. Sure she “had a choice” but also “yeah, she didn’t” (and also it wouldn’t have been the right move anyways) and my gods can she do anything right by all of you? — like Aedion I love you, I know you love Aelin, and you have a right to be angry (she should tell you more, yes, you do know wars, but ALSO) do you not see what she knows? What she carries? What she’s stuck in and going through too? THIS IS NOT THE TIME (ur dad was right Aedion😂) and WHY IS EVERYONE SO HARD ON HER? — I feel like fandoms & series pick this one thing or one character & tear them apart so much more & I don’t understand it with her right now (reminds me of Nesta or Chaol or any of the many) and just Brannon’s dam warning.

— okay a little better teamwork, we’ll take it

— the ding dang lockboxed key🤦‍♀️

— Her taking a moment to hold Lysandra’s hand🥹 (hey this time they are braiding there hair😂… but wait why would she if she’s a shape shifter???) ps Aedion this was Lysandra’s idea so don’t go blaming Aelin AGAIN — another genius gal pal plan for the win!

— guess Rowan took the “my lady” request to heart😂 also this is making me lean towards the Scottish accent theory

— “don’t miss this time” “asshole” — couldn’t have said it better myself

— you know it’s bad when Manon Blackbeak isn’t the Apex predator😅😅

— thank you manorian but also HEY! listen to Aelin NO KILLING DORIANS PLEASE (at least Chaol would be proud😅😂 SHE TRIED)

— well there’s a load of lines in her prep for war monologue

— “the list of horrible/wonderful things Aelin says to Rowan”😂😂😂

— “horrible miserable Lorcan” she said with appreciation?🤣 (honestly though their… dare I say friendship? Idk) has been cracking me up

— “Remember who you are. Every step of the way down, and every step of the way back. Remember who you are. And that you're mine.” — gonna go cry again — HE TURNED THE MARKS INTO TATTOO SCARS — “That he was hers, just as she was his.” — he waited on the sandbank like a puppy🥺

— That Court moment of finally realizing she is their queen and they all belong to each-other like one big happy about to fight 500 demons in the middle of Shrek’s swamp family (reminds me of Feyre & Cassian fight when she gets back from Spring Court; a scene I actually love with their friendship/family/Court/ you matter message!)

— that explains the distraction and magic issue… I really do think it has no end for better or worse…😬

— “For the deeper she went into her power, the more her body, her mind, squeezed under the pressure of it. That was the burnout--when that pressure won, when the magic was drained too fast or too greedily, when it was spent and still the bearer tried to claw deeper than it should.” — a good way to explain the magic burnout

— “The true might of Aelin Fire-Bringer. Not an ember less.” — she claimin titles, LETS GOOOOO

— “So Aelin abandoned every trapping of civilization, of conscience and rules and humanity, and plummeted into her fire. She flew for that flaming abyss, only distantly aware of the humidity lying thick on her skin, of the pressure building in her head. She'd shoot straight down--and push off the bottom, bringing all that power with her to the surface. The drag would be enormous. And it would be the test, the true test, of control and strength. Easy--so easy to spear into the heart of fire and ash. The hard part was bringing it up; that was when the cracking would occur. Deeper and deeper, Aelin shot into her power. Through distant, mortal eyes, she noted the ilken sweeping closer. A mercy--if they had once been human, perhaps obliterating them would be a mercy.” — well that all sounds dangerous on many levels

— The Queen of Flame and Shadow, the Heir of Fire, Aelin of the Wildfire, Fireheart... — the way Fireheart is the last one the one identity she holds closest😭 also all these names just THIS scene

— “She burned through each title, even as she became them, became what those foreign ambassadors had hissed when they reported on a child-queen's growing, unstable power in Terrasen. A promise that had been whispered into the blackness.” — THIS is what I’ve been talking about RECLAIM IT

— THE INFERNO WENT ON AND ON

— so many ash references… how interesting

[fmp2blairmurdoch]

Trip (prologue)

My journey through Vietnam or just NAM!! count this as a little prologue to the trip!

Thursday 8th of March it's 1am in the morning I'm being driven to the college me being quiet because I was in a weird sort of mood mainly because I wasn't about to see my family for 2 weeks. When we arrived at the college we waited in the car for a few minutes then everyone started getting out and ready once the bus arrived and we all got on the bus and we set off to Heathrow airport.

After we set off I was thinking to myself what am I getting myself into and I wasn't sure how'd I get on with people as well since I would be with them for 2 weeks, we also got these t-shirts and water bottles I didn't get a t-shirt but I did get a water bottle which I did leave at one of the hotels (sacrifices had to be made).

When we arrived at Heathrow airport at 4am … yes 4am we waited around for a couple of hours until the plane was ready but during that time me, Harvey, Oliver, laceti and Ella (just met). We all sort of hanged around we went to get a few snacks for the plane and we also had a mini spoons trip to get some breakfast. But it didn't feel long until we were off on the plane.

The plane journey wasn't to bad tbh the first bit of it I actually had a decent time on they had a good selection of films. So when we took off I started watching Shrek and the other two next to me (Ella and Emma) were watching Barbie. Then a while after we started getting some breakfast I chose the pancakes which tasted quite good but I had a rather odd looking sauce or syrup.

Then a while later started playing UNO which I sucked at because I didn't play it for a while but I did win a few games, then two of us played some battleship which was fun (Emma unfortunately won :)) but during the flight the plane went a bit funny we started going a bit faster then going up and down a little bit thought Something was happening.

Not much on the second Journey except I did watch the original Ghostbusters for the first time which was cool!

(weird plane moment)

[hard-core-super-star]

damn, I was hoping you'd admit that. so this was also you just throwing random words together in hopes they made sense? 🤔

I can't believe it either... HOWEVER, it was the first and last time you got a star when you were being a little brat about it. don't lose the star, it took me a while to find it kdhwka 🤐 phew, I'm glad you didn't even mention the name of the book or make other recommendations, I won't take note and bring some kind of update when I can see about it better. well, as long as we don't go back to talking about what we definitely weren't talking about, then I think things are totally fine. and I'm not going to say that this thing about not making literal sense, but the feelings being there is something even more impactful due to the fact that you can reach a level of understanding and even greater interpretation due to the fact that these feelings - despite being the focus - continues between the lines with synonyms and comparisons.

your torturous reminder is so funny sorry- picture after picture and she still by your side huh?

I'm curious to know what would have happened if I hadn't understood 😶

I like that you have cool opinions and throw them into your fics, not exactly just about that, but how you see the characters (Kate being the biggest example like you just said). It's exactly at this moment when I think you would be super in favor of Shrek's speech about people being like onions, full of layers. okay, your turn to share another thought about Kate even though you already do this when you write.

– 🌟

nope, you're not getting that out of me that easily. yup, that's how it works. especially that message since it was the first thing i wrote when i woke up lmao. [i did check my phone at 4am and read the messages but i fell back asleep before i could even think about replying so...do with that information what you will]

aw, i think you're a little soft on me 👀 i won't lose it, promise. can't risk you not wanting to give me another one later. i know, it's such a relief none of those things ever happened, imagine the chaos bringing it up would cause. and since we're not talking about it i definitely won't go read some more poems and bring them up to you, not at all. i'm so glad you didn't expand on my point about feelings being the focus because it's not like that's exactly what i try to do in all my fics because i think it's so much more impactful. i also won't admit i can't come up with anything to add because i love the way you didn't phrase that sentence. and i won't admit reading dickinson is what made me try to go above and beyond with simple yet impactful imagery.

excuse you, it's not funny, it's in fact very torturous. especially when it's an old picture of her and my heart stops for a second or two until i remember i'm supposed to be mad at her.

probably nothing except me being sad about it, tbh. unfortunately, now there'll be nothing to stop me from bringing emily dickinson up even more.

i wouldn't say my opinions are cool, i just think about them a lot because that's the way i am. i think adding those little thoughts/opinions is what makes writing fun and what can make a fic stand out because imagine how boring it would be if kate was just a one-dimensional being who just went along with the plot. it would be awful. and yes, you're right, i'm a sucker for that comparison lmao. [but only in spanish because Shrek is funnier in spanish, argue with the wall] i have so many thoughts all of the time but right now all i can think about is how alone she truly is and how that impacts how loyal and devoted she is to the people around her. like, we know she's traumatized af because of her dad's death, she's severely attached to her mom despite how damaging that relationship can be, and she hella admires clint from afar until the events of hawkeye. we never hear anything about her having other family members or friends or anything at all. i know a lot of people headcanon kate as being popular or a jock and stuff but like...idk, sometimes i can't see it. i don't know where i was going with this but those are my shuffled cards, now it's your turn to complete the deck.

[big4girl]

Hi Anon again! Thank you for listening to my ramblings and I'd love to share. First off, this thing, isn't the same one I talked about. This is a different on. I guess you could call an Avengers AU, but it's not really I just think certain characters would be perfect for certain roles. However, for Puss n Boots and Merida, it may have spiraled out a little. Puss n Boots I've put in place for Hawkeye, Kitty Soft Paws in Natasha or otherwise known as Black Widow. Anyway, his cover story/life outside of the Avengers is literally Shrek's swamp. He lost everyone in the swamp (Yes, that means Shrek, Donkey, Fiona, etc) like Hawkeye lost his family to the snap. He got them back like in Endgame with the others, but at the expense of Kitty Soft Paws since, she is in Black Widow's place. Enter Merida, who is in place of Kate Bishop. Merida, in this thing, has looked up to Puss n Boots since, she was a kid. Even wears boots and sometimes a hat like him sometimes. Goes on her own adventures, unfortunately, she's inexperienced so, things like crumbling buildings tend to be a trail behind her. Much to her estranged, widow, mother, (Who is Gothel in this. It makes more with who she's supposed to be than Merida's actually Mom. Her father is the same. No idea who almost to be stepdad, who gets framed by Gothel is though.) If anyone seen the Hawkeye series, Merida and Puss met in a similar way. Puss sees some is being who he was during the time period when he lost the entire swamp to the snap. Which was not the greatest guy, in his mind. Surprise it's Merida, who found things he used during that time period being sold at a black market auction and when things went ary, took them for herself. Like I said, I'm not writing this, but I do think about this sometimes.

This is a really interesting idea!

[fire-breathing-pain-in-the-neck]

Broke: Shrek 3 is the worst Shrek movie because of the terrible humor (90% of all jokes are "poop funny" or "farting and burping funny" and it's way too much even for a South Park episode!) and Charming's character just not working as a true main antagonist.

Woke: Shrek 3 is the worst Shrek movie because Shrek franchise is supposed to be a story of Shrek and Fiona's love... And Fiona isn't with Shrek for the entire movie... And she isn't even a heroine on her own in there, like she was in 4, or (partially) in 2. Just a mother of Shrek's children. Which is way less than she deserves, as well as just as... a little bit misogynistic.

Now, I am a Shrek the Third supporter and always will be, BUT a very good point is made here that I’ve been thinking about for a bit.

Fiona’s character kinda suffered from Disneyfication, which is ironic given how the first movie and her character originated.

(Btw! Disneyfication, or at least how I learned it in my sociology class, is when traits of a character become stereotypical and they enforce typical gender/class roles associated with that character.)

Instead of standing alongside Shrek, she’s given the backseat to become the mother. Unfortunately, by doing this, the movie just enforces tired ideas that wives and mothers are meant to be left at home when going on adventures. 😐

Also, even in her own kingdom, she’s not the one who is rightfully owed the crown after her father’s death, her husband is. In an advanced society like Far Far Away, do they NEED to have a king instead of a queen? NO. Is that a choice they made anyway? YES. And it’s not a good one!!

[blackberry-gingham]

Now what’s this about Toad’s mutant cure???

Well, not so much his mutant cure, so much as the in universe mutant cure (the like other OTHER plot villain from X-Men last stand 🥴🥴)

Future Sarah here: putting a cut bc I might actually write this some day. It's kinda fresh from my usual lol

Equipment and paraphernalia that neutralizes the x gene and thus mutant powers isn't new, but at some point there was a vaccine basically lol that completely and permanently disabled mutant powers if administered.

Anyway, in this story toad and the reader are in an established relationship where reader has been assumed to be a human all this time. The kicker here is that we have been slowly getting... Sick, or something. Tired, is more like it, but why? no one seems to know. To his chargin, toad brings us back to the X-Men for help after we have finally and suddenly collapsed in a comatose state.

Turns out, 1) we actually are a mutant and 2) unlike the forward evolution that most mutant powers give, ours is degenerative. The dark side of genetic mutation, if you will. Basically it's like an autoimmune disease of sorts: The body runs on little jolts of electricity that it generates, but in this story we are slowly losing said jolts through static shocks and contact, leaving us with literal less and less energy until we are finally unable to function normally.

The professor tries some of his mind stuff to let us and toad talk to see what can be done. Shit happens as we learn in the mind world talk that reader is basically on the edge of giving up and just letting death come. Ole toad, in his insecurity driven, anxiety riddled self, takes this to mean that we do not love him anymore, as apparently the thought of himself and your relationship together doesn't spring to the front of your mind as a motivation to keep fighting.

This is untrue of course, and simply has more to do with the fact that we are beyond our ropes end and literally have one foot in the grave as it is, but he refuses to be dissuaded about it. Heartbroken as he is, he still refuses to give, or let you, give up. You're the only one he's ever loved, and even if you don't feel as strongly about him as he feels about you, he can't just sit by and let you go.

More stuff happens with a side of shading the professor, but mainly another falling out with the X-Men all over what is to be done for us, and toad makes off to indulge in a little bit of crime to procure that dastardly Mutant Cure™ that the X-Men hate so much. Not a moment too soon, he sneaks back to save you. Only now it's just... Well, he can't just inject his beloved with an experimental drug without knowing for sure that it works, right?

So, toad takes one of the doses of the mutant cure himself. While yes, in the hopes to prove if it works (the effects are all but instant, as the movie shows us), but with the underlying hope that perhaps if he can make himself "normal" too then he'll earn back your love. Besides, even if not, being a regular human is all he's ever wanted, and now... He has his chance.

Now fans of the xmen may remember the mutant cure took away mystique's blue scales and such after all, but unfortunately for the fans (and toad) I think that's bs. That's right, no science, I simply just don't want it lol. His appearance doesn't change, but through what should be a super strength fueled fit of rage, he finds his powers are indeed gone.

He gives you the shot, and over time you're able to build and retain energy again, saving your life. Next time he sees you, toad is despondent that he still looks the same as before, although seems to be completely apathetic about losing his powers. This comes as a shock to you as you of course had no idea he tested the drug in himself first, but ultimately we get a little bit of the Shrek 3 ending where you reassure him that you ultimately love him for his appearance, not in spite of it.

It's a bit more complicated on your relationship in the end then I'm making it out to be, considering he permanently and recklessly altered himself with an experimental drug and all, but it's left to be interpreted as a happy, but lightly strained ending

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Hope van Dyne’s child

Hope van Dyne x child!reader

Scott Lang x stepkid!reader

warnings: insects (ants), sharp weapons

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: “Happy holidays darling! Would you write HC for Hope Van Dyne's child? Love the step-parents HC 🥰”

growing up as a lil smarty pants

grandpa hank was pretty proud, although he didn’t see you very much

once every few years

but he did tell you all these crazy stories about his adventures that you honestly thought were just fiction (until you were older)

“and i was as small as an ant, but i was still incredibly strong! remember that, kid. just because you aren’t as big as someone else doesn’t mean you can’t beat them” -hank

“y/n doesn’t need to be hearing those stories, hank” -hope

“why not? they have important life lessons in them!” -hank

“why does mommy call you ‘hank?’” -you

“because mommy hates grandpa, isn’t that right?” -hank

“okay, i think that’s enough of this visit. come on, y/n, time to go” -hope

your mom was very supportive of you, nonetheless

she wanted to be different from her dad

so she showed up to EVERYTHING

birthdays, sick days, tucking you in for bed, parent-teacher conferences, art shows, you name it

“here’s some tea, jellybelly. it’ll make your throat feel better” -hope

“mom, i think i’m dying” -you

“you’ll be fine” -hope, givin’ u a kiss on the forehead

life wasn’t like, extra crazy or anything. sometimes she’d bring you to work and honestly? darren cross didn’t seem like the worst guy. he even brought you whatever you might need if your mom was staying late at work

“hey, van dyne junior! i brought you a puzzle that might keep you busy for a while...and a happy meal from mcdonalds! let me know if you need anything else, me and your mom will just be in the lab for a little while” -darren

“thank you!!!” -you

uh huh, ur mom taught u manners!

anyways you started spending more time with your grandpa cuz they had a plan

thats when you found out that his “turning small” stories were not, in fact, bullshit

“wait grandpa...you actually did shrink as small as an ant?” -you

“why would i lie?” -hank

okay well cue you wanting to shrink down to ant size now it was your new aspiration

you did learn how to command ants tho!!!!!!

but unfortunately (or not so unfortunately) hank brought scott to the party

“hi!” -you, waking scott up

“what?!” -scott, jumping back against the headboard

“hi.” -you, staring at him “im y/n. these are my ants”

bullet ants were just crawlin around the place

“oh, that’s....that’s cool. any chance you could tell me where i am or how i got here” -scott

“wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy” -you, leaving abruptly

“are you bothering our guest?” -hope, watching you proudly nod “good job, jellybelly”

mom taught u how to punch 🥰🥰🥰

and let you use scott as a punching bag

but scott wasn’t like awful or anything he was just insufferable at times

“i think you’d like my daughter cassie. she’s weird and smart just like you” -scott

“did you just call me weird? mom, can i punch him again?” -you

“no no no! i meant weird in a good way! please dont hurt me anymore!” -scott

chasing him around the yard ready to ATTACK

hank had to tell u to cut it out

“dont tell them what to do” -hope

“someone has to” -hank

“excuse me? i parent y/n just fine, better than you ever did for me!” -hope

“do they do this often?” -scott

“every time they see each other but that’s not very much” -you

“hm...hey, do you like ice cream? specifically baskin robbins?” -scott

ur mom said “we do not associate with idiots ❤️” and then proceeded to associate with said idiots

scott did end up saving u from darren tho bc that mf tried to hold u hostage and scott was really not in the mood for that bullshit

“you alright, y/n?” -scott

“murder is okay, right?” -you

after that whole ordeal he and your mom were kinda a thing uh huh

and he introduced you to cassie!!! she was amazingly sweet and you could def see the family resemblance

“is this my new sibling?! i’ve always wanted one!” -cassie

“hey, me too!” -you

you hung out with her on a weekly basis, with or without scott

and mom and grandpa were working on a ✨special project✨

one you insisted on being apart of

“no, y/n, we can’t make you your own suit. you’re too young for this sort of thing” -hope

“pleaaaaase mom? i swear i’ll he responsible with it!” -you

“you’re mother is right, y/n. you’re just not ready yet. maybe someday, but not anytime soon” -hank

scott took you on family bowling trips yes he did

and just corny stepdad shit

but he went to germany and mom and him broke up and FF to two years later when you guys had finally reunited

“scott!! you asshole!!” -you, like this -> :)

“kiddo!! sorry to hear that!!” -scott, same energy

shading him the whole time

“ach mein gott” -you

“are you kidding me, y/n? i make one mistake. ONE” -scott

“you’re one mistake has caused me to live in MINIATURE HOMES” -you

“THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD THING” -scott

“WELL IT’S NOT” -you

“did you at least miss me?” -scott

“sicher habe ich” -you

“god dammit” -scott

surprise!! u kind of had a suit (for emergencies)

as a van dyne/pym, it was almost a necessity to know how to use pym particles

scott acted like a proud dad

“wow, you’re really doing it!!!” -scott

“halt die klappe” -you

“please stop” -scott, tearing up

finding out about ✨grandma✨

she possessed scott and touched ur face and told you that she was so excited to meet you but you didn’t know wtf was going on and you had the urge to smack scott but THANKFULLY you did not

“i have to meet her for real! let me help you guys!” -you

“okay” -hope

“what? really?” -you

“it’s about time we put your genius to good use” -hope

scott offered you a high five for that and u literally accepted it

“don’t get too happy, that was just an in-the-moment thing” -you, watching scott’s eyebrow raise “fine. you can have a hug”

okay okay well everything went okay and then half the world ~vanished~ including ur whole family but like cassie and her family took you in and you spent five years very alone and upset until one day cassie called you downstairs and whoopdedoo???? scott???????

“is my mom with you?” -you

“sorry, sport, she’s not...do you have your suit with you? we need to go on some...hero business” -scott

you missed scott a lot over the past 5 years, this really did cheer you up, even if it was just him

“how’ve you been holding up the past few years” -scott

“the world sucks, man” -you

“i can see that” -scott

he turned on some tunes for the two of you to enjoy otw to the avengers hq and it was probably the best memory you created since everyone disappeared

“wait, reach into the glove box” -scott

“oh, god, i hope there’s no rodents in here...” -you, reaching for a picture “is this..?”

“family photo!! you were little back then, i can’t believe how time flies. i mean, it flew really quick for me, the quantum realm is no joke” -scott

you were busy staring at the picture of your mom, you really missed her

busy ~saving the world~

and going to 2012 with scott

“hey uh just so you know, i might be able to make pym particles” -you

“‘might?’ and if we use faulty pym particles we ‘might’ die. would you like that?” -tony

“hey, back off, stark. they’re just trying to help” -scott

next thing u know ur in present day and THEN u actually got to hold the scepter bc scott let u

“im gonna stab you!!” -you

“no!!!” -scott

the other avengers, literally mourning natasha while you chase him around with a sharp weapon: 😧

okay after the place was destroyed u got to face mr. purple man and yo mama showed back up and saw you on the front lines

“y/n????” -hope

“mom????” -you

“scott!!!!” -scott

“really, scott? a shrek reference? now?” -you “...nice”

the reunion with your mom was short and sweet but you missed her forehead kisses and she gave you one immediately!!!! and she was crying but you were too bc damn

“listen, after this, we’re gonna have such a fun family night. i’m so sorry i couldn’t be there for you all this time” -hope

“mom, it wasn’t your fault...it was that purple bastard, let’s get him!” -you

“they grow up so fast...” -hope

i n s e c t f a m

insect fam killed it out there and then ✨attended tony’s funeral✨ together right after

that’s one solid family 😌💖

anyways time to celebrate a (halfway) return to normalcy

with your *sister* cassie and your mom and your...scott

you were just happy to all be together again, it’s been WAY too long

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedficrecs // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisqueer // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @spideyandtheboys // @ghost-bich // @wonderful-writer // @of-a-chaotic-mind // @groovyfluxie // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @lxncelot //

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

#13: Return of the “Toxic” Chloe Fans

The very first post I made on this blog (barring the introduction) was about Astruc's uncomfortably strong feelings against Chloe and why she's supposedly “irredeemable”.

Unsurprisingly, I wasn't the only one to hate this explanation that only wasted time on the show that could have easily been spent on literally anything else, like a story or character arc that actually goes anywhere. So the hashtag #JusticeForChloeB started up, and a few months after “Garbage Fire” “Miracle Queen” aired, Astruc found out and naturally had a few problems with some fans “harassing” him.

Yes, there have been a lot of people who have sent negative messages to Astruc, insulting him and his family, and I have talked about that in some of my other posts. The thing is that a lot of the people Astruc replied to had relatively calm arguments, and refrained from personally insulting Astruc. Unfortunately, he still saw them the same way he sees the actual toxic people who attack him.

First off, I love how Astruc phrased that last tweet. “I know you all love a character that I created, but you don't have to be mean to me about it.” Same kind of humility that we all love about him.

Second, the disappointment that everyone felt when Chloe betrayed Ladybug is nothing like what Ladybug went through. The plot of the episode was so fast-paced, she didn't get any time to really scold Chloe for her actions other than a single line. If you wanted to show how crushing her betrayal was, have the characters actually react to it other than treating it like their kid stole a cookie before dinner.

In fact, I know this is like comparing Othello to Shrek: The Musical, but a good example of a show that really highlighted how painful a character's betrayal was is Avatar: The Last Airbender. Like Chloe, Zuko had gotten a fair share of episodes during the second season that made it seem like he was going to turn a new leaf. He was still conflicted, but it felt like he was still making progress. And much like how Hawkmoth manipulated Chloe to betray Ladybug and Cat Noir so she would recognize how great of a superhero she was, Azula manipulated Zuko to betray Aang and Iroh so he could finally reclaim his honor.

The difference? When Zuko betrayed the heroes, it had a far bigger impact on the characters and the audience.

We saw how disappointed Iroh was in his nephew, with just his look saying a thousand words, and because of his actions, Aang barely escaped with his life. Even in the next season, Zuko still felt conflicted about his choice, until he finally started to start anew and turn on his father.

It's fairly obvious that Chloe isn't going to do any kind of thinking like that next season, especially given how much Astruc has complained that people actually like her. Though it wouldn't surprise me if Astruc pulled a 180 and tried to redeem Chloe next season just to appease the fans while claiming that this was obviously part of his plan all along.

So Astruc continues to reply to anyone who simply acknowledges that they just wanted to see Chloe get better, or that he's being a little rude to his followers, and sees them as the enemy.

I understand that there are people who are willing to personally attack Astruc, and those people go too far. The difference is that this has had a negative effect on him, causing him to see anyone who disagrees with him as “toxic” or “spamming”.

There have also been people who have called out those who use the #JusticeForChloeB hashtag to attack Astruc, even if they still want Chloe to get redemption or not. Hell, one person tried to explain to Astruc that those people don't really represent what the point of the hashtag is. Guess how he responded?

Do you think you'll ever give us a citation on those surveys, Astruc? Believe it or not, it's kind of hard to buy that a survey was made when you don't show the results of said survey other that saying “Uh, yeah. These kids totally agree with what I believe in”. Seriously, he sounds like one of those parents who posts online about things their kid didn't actually say just to get brownie points on social media.

And last, we have my personal favorite argument Astruc made on this thread.

Oh, so you don't like arguments made purely from someone's own judgment instead of citing the work to back up said argument, Astruc? Okay, good, I just wanted to be sure. It's a good thing you've never done anything like that when responding to criticism, like that time you said a character design wasn't racist because you hired a Chinese actor to coach the rest of the voice cast without citing anything from the episode to explain your point.

Or that time you claimed that there was character development in your show based solely off of the fandom's reaction to two specific characters without citing anything from the show to explain your point.

Or that time you brushed off someone's concerns that the comic based off your show might be racist because it had characters named Public Enemy and Ghetto Blaster in it without citing anything from said comic to explain your point.

Or that time you called fans sexist for wanting Adrien to get more focus while claiming that Ladybug was the leader without citing anything from the show to explain your point.

It's a good thing you've always backed up your arguments without letting any of your personal judgment write your responses, Astruc.

But we're not done with this user yet, as they continue their argument, poking holes in the show's writing, all while being completely respectful to Astruc as a person.

How does Astruc respond? With another one of his go-to rebuttals.

If arguments like “You don't understand what X represents.” or “Children understand this according to this survey that may or may not have been conducted.” don't work, Astruc will simply break out the old “You haven't seen the whole thing yet so you can't judge it!” argument.

People can still judge a story in progress or at least critique how it's going so far. Even if a story ends, history can make its reputation even worse when people think about the way the story went.

When The Force Awakens came out, everyone loved it and were looking forward to seeing what  was alluded to in the sequels, like the mystery of Rey's parents. After The Rise of Skywalker came out, many Star Wars fans, even those who liked the divisive entry, The Last Jedi, lambasted the entire sequel trilogy because of how pointless most of the plot threads set up went nowhere.

Maybe Chloe goes through some major development in Season 4, but again, given everything Astruc has said about her, I highly doubt it. This is just another excuse for him to brush off criticism, and it is just ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.

[vaindumbass]

Do it. Elaborate on the Shrek au. I dare you.

oh god. oh god. well i cannot resist now i have been dared. remember that u asked for this. Also, this is mainly a collection of vague thoughts & details that maybe do not matter all that much, and will probably not make sense if u havent watched it.

fundamentally, shrek is a film (insert ‘im not even going to call it a movie’ meme here) about learning to love yourself as you are, but also about opening up to other people & letting them help you & also about how those two things interact with each other.

And who kind of hates himself and feels like a monster and uses the help of his friends? remus, of course. However! to even slightly maintain the vibe of the film the main character has to look hideous and intimidating to others, so we’re adding the lore that everyone can see that he’s a werewolf because of a particular scar on his head.

(sidenote: remember when sirius volunarily locked himself into a cave and looked like shit and ate rats? he would also make a good shrek, but if im going to list all the alternative ways this could be done we’ll never be done) 

Then, an enthusiastic four-footed sidekick: prongs. yes, it’s James in stag form. no, i don’t think he’ll be human at any point in the movie. (He has to be an outcast, that’s what unites them all, after all)

Also, the swamp is the shrieking shack.

now it’s going to get complicated, because unfortunately shrek wasn’t made with the idea of a marauders au in mind, which is kind of inconsiderate tbh. I’d make voldemort Lord Farquad just so that all the ‘compensating for something’ jokes can be replaced with something along the lines of: ‘well u know what they say: the smaller the nose,,,,’  

the magic mirror that snitches on them is Peter, and he tells voldemort that to be complete he needs a seventh horcrux and that the only thing fit for that is this one Black family heirloom. The black family will only give it away as a wedding gift. enter sirius black, stage left. 

lily is the dragon but. we’ve got to change the personality. lily is simply a Professional and wants to do her job, but james, overconfident as always, says he’ll be able to distract her with his seductive skills (yes, hes still a stag). Weirdest thing? it works. lily, who has never really talked to anyone before, just burned them to a crisp, is too busy laughing to really do anything. Somehow the whole ranting and never stop talking thing is the perfect approach, and Lily is quite curious about the outside world and how it has changed those past few years, and she is quite glad that she doesn’t have to kill him, because turns out he was just lost, and that must be true because he hasn’t asked about the prince yet. 

And then she spots Remus and Sirius getting away and realizes she was tricked. she isn’t exactly. proud of her reaction but to be fair trying to burn and kill people was just her knee-jerk reaction at that point!! she didn’t really have the time to get used to the talking thing!! 

ehhh sirius changes into a. fucking dog at night. and he can’t control it. that’s the curse. 

that one robin hood-like figure? that came to attack them? the blonde one with the song. yes that’s Gilderoy Lockhart and Sirius enjoys punching him very much (#letsiriusblackgoferal2021). Remus enjoys watching the punching and such and then the cute and slightly disturbing bonding montage starts. 

they take shelter in the windmill, sirius transforms into a dog but can still talk for plot reasons, and explains the whole being cursed and needing a true love’s kiss etcetera. remus got him a flower but drops it when he hears the words ‘but who could ever love a mangy mutt’ and it’s all a very sad misunderstanding and voldemort takes sirius away. (sorry abt putting the image of sirius and voldemort marrying into ur head <3) 

Here, for fun, I’d suggest just giving Lily some time to shine, going out, exploring the world, because she doesn’t really have a job anymore and doesn’t know what to do. She sees the fairytale people, the different ones, and how they are treated and how lord voldemort tries to get them all away because it doesn’t fit into his worldview. It’s horrible, and at her core, she’s a protector, so one day she just swoops two dwarfs (marlene and dorcas) onto her back, away from the soldiers who try to make them go down the mines and stay there forever, out of sight.

They have fun & explore & become friends, honestly, and her new friends want to show her some really cool dwarven shit let’s say a nice gemstone. Lily gives the appropriate reaction but unfortunately a very big dragon isn’t very subtle and the soldiers manage to find them and to capture marlene and dorcas, who both encourage lily to just get away as fast as possible. and lily does. she flies and flies and keeps flying until she can’t and then she stops next to a lake and cries.

that’s where she sees james again. they talk, james consoles her, says that at least she had that friendship because friendship is the most important thing in the world, and then we see him have a lightbulb moment. He makes up with remus. 

They crash the wedding! sirius appreciates the dramatics of it all, and, not one to be bested, reveals that he changes into a dog when the sun goes down. lord voldemort, appaled, calls for his guards (remember, the problem isn’t necessarily ugliness, here, but the exclusion of the non-normal, non-human people (shrek as a metaphor for queerness anyone?)) and lily eats him. #girlboss

remus hugs dog-sirius, and he’s smiling a lot more than we’ve seen so far in this film!! he also presses a small kiss to the top of sirius’ head just because. not much happens but a few seconds later sirius seems to concentrate and suddenly he’s human again (a delighted human, to be clear). he concentrates again and he’s a dog. human-dog-human-dog-human. remus, although he isn’t quite sure what’s going on, watches with a fond smile. sirius remembers he’s there and they kiss and it’s cute ig

ending scene is a big party with a banner of ‘we ended the monarchy!!!!’ and next to it there’s a painting of the person who was elected as president and it’s Just Some Guy. halfway through the party james decides to defend lily’s honour and crosses out the ‘we’ and writes down ‘I’ and drapes it around lily as if it’s a sash. remus and sirius are also vibing. dorcas and marlene are furiously digging out gems and giving them to each other (it’s how they flirt). the end <3