#if anyone unfollows me now i understand
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Okay I cannot believe I'm about to go off like this, but this has been bothering me for awhile, and it's only making me more spiteful. I have been enjoying the influx of Billford art lately. Amazing, great wonderful. What I have Not been enjoying, is the absolute vitriol the Billdip fans have been getting since the influx of TBOB. I was a billdip shipper for awhile. Hell I was a billdip shipper when I was a Parapines shipper-- I liked shipping Dipper with boys. I was also like 14 or 15 at the time. Obviously, if you follow me now, you'll probably notice what my main ship for Dipper is. I grew out of Billdip, and moved on to Pinescone. I have been shipping Pinescone for 10 years. However, not once did I go around saying "Lol, glad I matured and became a better person and shipped something healthier", nor did I post in the billdip tag, condeming people for a fictional ship! And saying mine was better because it was less problematic.
"I'm really glad people stopped shipping Bill and Dipper together. Bill is a 1000 year old triangle demon, and Dipper is 13--" Stop. Repeat what you just said.
"Bill is 1000 year old triangle--"
Repeat that last word to me. "....triangle?" TRIANGLE! I'm sorry what?! This ship is already completely wild enough. You're getting mad at this fictional age gap-- AND BILL IS A FUCKING SHAPE! A FUCKING SHAPE! This ship was weird from the moment GO! And Billford isn't any better. IT'S STILL A SHIP WITH A FUCKING SHAPE! And you're going to sit on your high horse and look down on the Billdip community. On top of it-- they have an age gap too! Bill is still thousands of years old or whatever-- however long it's been, who knows? And Ford was in his 20s or so when he met Bill. That's still a huge, ridiculous age gap-- that Bill could easily use and manipulate; which he did....and then also caught feelings and became a sad ex, but that's beside the point~ Both of these ships are still insane. And again, the bigger thing I think people are just ignoring about these ships--is that Bill is a TRIANGLE! THREE LINES CONNECTED TOGETHER! And this is the hill you're going to die on? ...Cause apparently it's mine. First of all-- as many people pointed out-- Ford Pines did not exist until the second half of the final season. People couldn't ship Fordbill because there wasn't any Ford to introduce.
"Well, even before Ford, I never shipped Billdip! I always disliked it." ...Okay, that's totally fine. Not everyone needs to like or agree on the same ship. Lord knows there's probably people who don't really care for Pinescone either. There's a lot of popular ships that I can't stand. But I'm don't go into a ship tag I don't like, screaming to a void for self validation. I don't go around mocking other people for ships that they had in 2014-- or even still today! It doesn't matter! I did that when I was a kid-- and then realized that was rude, and it was better to just ignore the ships I didn't like and enjoy the ones that made me happy. And grow a community of kind, like minded friends. And listen, I am all for safe spaces and being able to block things that make you uncomfortable. I am not saying people who find the BillDip ship uncomfortable to be idiots or babies or overly sensitive-- or anything like that. I think if something makes you uncomfortable, that is okay and I think it's perfectly fine to blacklist a tag that you don't want to see. I also think it's imperative that people tag things as accurately as they can so people looking at your work can know if one of your pieces has a thing that they don't like-- and therefore can avoid. What I don't appreciate is the fanhate for this ship that is sprouting up like weeds. You can not like something, you can be disgusted by it (I have my Gravity Falls ships I can not stand, nor do I feel comfortable with), but attacking real people for a FICTIONAL SHIP-- two characters who are drawings on a piece of paper and can not be affected mentally, physically or emotionally by fanwork; who still retain the same shape after everything we put them through-- to the point that you send death threats, or threaten to Doxx, or just harass relentlessly, I have always found that more childish and disgusting. You are causing real world pain to people. Me fucking up Dipper Pines is not going to do anything to him-- because he doesn't actually exist. He's a cartoon character. I could squash him and stretch him in Wonka's taffy machine--- I could throw him mock speed at a wall and watch him explode on impact-- but he still exists. He's not dead; I can pick him up and dust him off, and If I wanted-- I could decide that eh, 'Not a scratch on him'. And I'd be right. Because he is a cartoon character, and I am just a fangirl. I can not change anything about him-- I have no ability to make anything I headcanon canon. And even if I was the original artist-- it doesn't change the fact that Dipper would still be nothing more than a creation. A construct of shapes; he can not be hurt or traumatized in a way that leads to real life consequences-- because he is not real. I am not a cartoon character. My friends are not cartoon characters. Artist and Writers who stay in their lane...are not cartoon characters. If you hurt us...it will linger. It will leave a scar. If you can not tell the difference between Fiction and Reality, then I think maybe media might be too much to handle-- and I think you need to really reevaluate yourself.
And just to vent some other things that i keep seeing that are frustrating: You can't claim the twins are only 13-- and then on August 31st go "Happy 20-something Birthday Mabel and Dipper!" And then proceed to drop a picture of them as adults. Well which is it? Do they age or not? Because Gravity Falls showed them canonically aging. If you think the twins age-- then you can't suddenly turn around and go, 'no you can't ship them-- Dipper is a child!' but you drew him as an adult. So sorry, it looks like you can't draw the twins grown up anymore. You claimed they're 13, so better draw them 13 forever--. Aged up stories and works exist for a reason, especially for a fan who grew up on the series. The characters might have grown up alongside them. It's not unlikely for a person to ship Billdip when Dipper is much older.
And on that note, for people who are like 'well older billdip is fine-- it's just people shipping him during the show that deserve to die.' Okay... and like I said, this rant is coming from a recent influx of Billford shippers spitting on Billdip shippers. You know? The TOXIC Old Man Yaoi!
You're still shipping something that is problematic. You are still shipping something twisted and wrong. And I am not judging you. I am here for this divorced arc. I am thriving. But you can't just pick and choose what is and isn't okay. And let me first off explain; if there is something that personally triggers you about a toxic ship, and you want to avoid that-- again, perfectly understandable. Perfectly reasonable. You are the makers of your content space. And I am not judging anyone for that. I want people to be safe. I want people to have a good time in fandom spaces. I want people to not have to deal with the things that upset them or frighten them, or disgust them. But you can not say one is fine, and one is not. They're both bad! They're both toxic. In real life, these ships would both be charged with serious crimes! And yes, there are some crimes that are worse than others, and if you asked me what I thought was more problematic-- I'd say Billdip-- but both of these ships are extreme, and severe in their problematic content. You are still consuming problematic content. If it's a personal thing, that's fine; avoid it. But don't sit there throwing stones from your glass house.
#I can't believe some of ya'll are making me a BillDip Shipper again for your horribly cruel takes#Gravity Falls#BillDip#Dipper Pines#Bill Cipher#Billford#and I am not tagging both ships to start 'drama' or mock anyone#this applies to all ya'll right now#This is probably what gets me hate mail finally#but i have to say it#I'm a proshipper#and I'm sorry but I think a lot of you don't actually understand what that means#And I'm really sick of some of the stuff I've been seeing recently in the Gravity Falls tag#If you wanna block me or unfollow me#that's fine#just please think what I've said through before you decide to say something mean#Rant#Rant Post#I admit I'm scared to post this#but I'm also angry enough to have written it down
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#if I've made anyone uncomfortable with the things I've been posting the last few days that was in fact the point and fully intended#and I don't say that to be cruel but simply to drive home the point that fandom spaces can be both safe and hostile at the same time#it is a deeply uncomfortable thing to acknowledge and I know most people do no want to deal with that and I understand that truly#but it was important to me to acknowledge and to give my opinion so that's what I did#At the same time none of this changes my opinion on my ship or the fact that I love a certain character other people find problematic#and I am fine with people finding that problematic because I am human being I am problematic by default#and I am confident enough in myself as a person to know when to acknowledge when I've contributed to problematic behavior#and realize the world doesn't end when this happens#my opinion of the fandom I've made my home in hasn't changed either#I had these views before and now they're out there in the open messy wording and all#and if you've decided that changes your opinion of me for the worse that's fine you can unfollow block etc#I understand that even in my attempt to acknowledge hurt within my fandom I've probably hurt other people and I have made my peace with it#but for everyone else that's shown me support both on tumblr and in private#for everyone that's listened to me vent about this subject over DMs and validated my hurt feelings#instead of trying to press your own discomforts onto me to carry in addition to my own#thank you#I've carved a permanent space in my heart for you and I truly mean that#I waded into this mess fully expecting to be ignored at best and to lose connections at worst and I was fully okay with it#but the love I've gotten and the deep honest and vulnerable conversations I've had over the last few days has truly been astounding to me#this last part is taking me AGES to write#because I'm actually crying thinking about all the good that's come out of this#and I acknowledge that's not a universal opinion and that's fine I'm really only speaking to my personal experience with what's happened#which despite outward appearances has been incredibly cathartic and uplifting for me#and I don't need everyone in the fandom to share my views or validate me or tell me I'm right people are allowed to disagree#I also don't need to have a deep personal and honest connection with everyone in the fandom where I can share my deepest vulnerabilities#but the fact that I could have that connection with some of you? that's enough for me. it's everything to me.
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In all seriousness, when I was in my 20s I spent way too much time reading tumblr and trying to figure out the right opinions to have on everything. It was pretty soul destroying now that I look back.
#although the people i consider my people (leftists and the left leaning) are always turning on people for slight disagreements#so i guess it was self preservation in a way#luckily i basically never posted back then only read#the truth is a lot of the disagreeing and fucking infighting on the left is internet sickness#and a lot of people who seem to know what they are talking about on here are actually talking out of their ass- seriously.#they don't need to know what they are talking about because everyone reading knows even less#my criteria for which leftists i respect is 'can they handle a slight disagreement with someone broadly on their side-#do they engage in good faith or do they mock and belittle?'#and i understand anyone on here with over a certain amount of folllowers who talks about politics will get bait and bad faith asks and stuf#i'm not saying you have to engage with bait in good faith!#just the real stuff.#i kind of regret this now but i engaged on a post that was using the word liberal in the coloquial (meaningless) tumblr way#that was when someone i followed (unfollowed now) apologised to the op of the post for my dumb idiocy- i was like ohhhhh#and then the op of the post responded to me like 'i'm using the true definition of liberal! which is: [really confusing explanation]'#the truth is there is no one definition because the left and right use it differently#when the right says liberal in a derogatory way they don't mean 'not those further left people though! they are really respectable + cool'#nah they mean the further left also#the point is the term liberal has no set meaning- it changes with context and no one bothers providing the context#i will stop now this is too rambly even for me
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being here has never felt this suffocating.. it feels impossible sometimes to continue
#i wish you'd talked to me about it instead of making a post with screenshots#because that was nothing i did intentionally... i didn't wake up thinking 'i will be racists today' it was a mistake i'm not proud of#i meant my apology and i said i understand when people are offended and that i'm sorry#i know it was wrong and i'm ready to learn from it to not hurt people anymore and idk why it warrants calling me a full racist#and i don't know how you saw that ask bc it was days (or yesterday? idk anymore) ago and you blocked me weeks (months?) ago#you'd have to actively seek that ask out or look through my posts if im blocked for you#and if it wasn't you but someone else who pointed it out for you idk how you guys got to the point of scanning my blog#if i ever hurt anyone im ALWAYS open to talking about it. i remember once using a word wrong and someone pointed it out on anon#and I've never used that word ever since#i would've immediately apologised and deleted that bit too if you'd texted me just one sentence a la 'hey that's so not okay'#and you did the same thing when i went alway last time... never communicating but going against me while so many others reached out to me#if i didn't see anything wrong about this thing now i wouldn't have made that post. im not scared of disagreeing with ppl#and i don't know what you want me to do? i didn't even know M when their thing happened and still felt bad for them.. me or those who are#defending me didn't go against M... how would you think it's the same people? idk man#idk.. i can apologise a 100 times and it won't be okay. and if i don't say anything im dodging the topic it'll never be enough no matter#what i do#reach out to me jords tell me what i can do bc i did NOT mean to ever hurt anyone and im so freaking sorry that i did#<— this msg especially to those who were directly hurt#idk what to do so you stop posting so many screenshots#if you want ppl to stop supporting me then...yeah idk guys stop supporting me — unfollow me it's absolutely okay bc i know that was#uneducated af of me#to all sweet ppl who reached out thank you i see your messages#i'll see all those that'll come too.. i just wont answer so no one drags y'all#thank you that's it#go ahead and screenshot this too. i can't do anything else anymore#also.. the only parts i edited in my apology were 'i didn't mention japanese' and 'i dont feel superior' which i did after waking up cos#my post was made at 5am after randomly waking up during the night#edit: stop sending my friends asks saying i deserved this. i never told anyone to defend me.. they CHOSE it and they're allowed to#that's it... thank you guys and ily#ill brb. not too long just a bit
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some of u guys r just going full mask off zionist huh
#to repost such a blatantly propagandistic video of an idf soldier who literally says ‘we didnt start this war#‘but we are going to finish it we are going to DESTROY hamas’#yeah with innocent civilians and children as collateral#totally normal tone to take and not at all fervent warmongering#to say that people have to have a complete understanding of the history of the region in order to have an opinion is also just evil#silence is the same as support when it is OUR government providing military aid to israel#israel is the party benefitting from western ignorance and they want to keep it that way they are unhappy americans are waking up#and that they are now losing the propaganda campaign#and idf soldiers like the one in that video posting to social media and using goofy ass identity politics language are part#of their efforts to reverse the tide#so i will say it is imperative for people to take an absolute stance against war crimes and against genocide#even if they don’t have an understanding of the geopolitical issues this is a basic moral stance#and yall will just continue to both-sides the issue insist that anyone who is anti-zionist must be ignorant and/or antisemitic#regardless of how educated we are on the issue….#so i’m done#and then the same zionist radfems will be like ‘everyone unfollowing and blocking me is proof that radblr is antisemitic’
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#a person I knew last year and is currently doing a study abroad semester (thankfully) is very pro-israel#and follows me on instagram (although I unfollowed her) and posted some stuff about the current genocide happening in Gaza on my story#including a tweet(?) about how ‘i don’t need to check in on my Jewish friends right now because they’re not zionists’ because#I was so fed up with people talking about how you need to check in on your Jewish friends because they all have family and friends in Israel#and even if they don’t it’s the Jewish homeland and it’s under threat! so reach out to your Jewish friends!#and like. no. it sucks that there are people dying but also Israel is very much an apartheid state and is responsible for all of this#I don’t have a solution and I understand why a lot of Jews like the concept of a homeland because we’ve been kicked out of almost every#country and persecuted basically everywhere. having a country that you know won’t turn against you would be great#but that country is not Israel#I don’t support israel and I don’t stand with Israel. it is actively committing genocide and therefore I am not a zionist#I got tired of the narrative that Jews should be checked on especially because nowhere was anyone saying that you should be checking in on#your Palestinian friends! like. it just showed what side you were on so blatantly and I got fed up and put a thing about it on my story#this person sent me a message in response to that and asked ‘how would you define Zionism?’#and like. she knows where I stand. she’s basically just asking for confirmation which I don’t feel like giving her because that’s just going#get into a debate that I don’t feel like having because she’s not going to change her mind
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"bad things happen to make us learn" MY ASS
the only things i learnt from all that happened to me since 2020 is that i'm unloved, unlovable, cursed, cruel for adopting stray cats and that money is more important than me having a roof over my head
#hoje o tio morcego não tá de bom humor#tio morcego tá pistola#tô puto? tô puto#this is all really unfair and i didn't deserve any of this#this is all cruel to me#if i had to suffer with the consequences of me being stubborn for example i'd understand#bc i'm very stubborn and i should learn to be less#but these shit that happened were really cruel#nothing of all these things that happened make sense#they didn't teach me anything they just make me suffer#feel free to unfollow idgaf i need to vent#and i don't have anyone to right now everyone thinks i'm a crybaby#yeah sure dealing with 7 deaths on a row is not painful at all#dealing with your aunt wanting you living at the streets is not painful at all#all the shit i've beeb through is not painful at all i'm just oVErSenSitIVe hahaha#fuck everyone i'm a great person and non of you deserves me as a relative/friend/enbyfriend#no one deserves me it's all your loss#fuck g0d as well imagine worshipping someone who only gives you pain
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There are SO many things where once I was like. Mm. I dont know if I like that. I dont know if I want that around. And then time went by and I was around it more and then I got a direct positive example and then I did some self discovery and then it's like ah. I am one of those actually.
#the babyfurs make me uncomfortable to being one pipeline happened so so fast#the otherkin sounds weird to being one pipeline actually began bc i followed someone here who like would routinely rail against them#i followed this person for years but i unfollowed bc it just seemed so mean? then i met one. now i am one#if younger me could see me now theyd be like bro what are you doing but then id explain it all to them and then theyd be like oh ok#this is why even tho community boundaries in a healthy way are important literally never SEEING anyone of a category you dont understand#is like. counter productive#understanding leads to comfort which can lead to recognition#starting to refrain from judgment has made my life so much better lol i have no idea where id be without 'freaks'
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I have a lot of compliacted thoughts on this, but I'll try to untangle them a bit.
Yes. To stop being a bully or an abuser, you have to first change internally. You do, as part of that process of unlearning harmful behaviors, have to forgive yourself.
Forgiving yourself is not the same as saying that what you did was ok. That it is ok to ever do again. Or that you can now stop trying to improve yourself, that you're done. It is simply a way of moving forward. Of moving away from the person you were who harmed others, so you can stop being a person who harms others.
Forgiving yourself is, in fact, holding yourself accountable in a way that self loathing never can. If you forgive what you did when you were not healed, you no longer have an excuse to enable yourself to keep acting that way. You are, now, instead moving forward.
Forgiving yourself also cannot be seperated from the act of ensuring you do not perpetrate those harmful behaviors again. You MUST change to be able to achieve forgiveness from yourself. That change MUST show in the way you treat others.
Throwing someone in a total isolation chamber has never reformed them. It usually makes things much worse. If you are doing that to yourself inside of your own head from the horror of what you once did, you are not healing. You are not changing. You WILL commit harm again if something doesn't change. Self loathing and isolation is NOT healing.
And no, an abused/bullied/victimized person does not owe their abuser forgiveness. That's not what's on the table here. Self forgiveness is, and that's a non-negotiable part of the healing process. They also do not owe it to their abuser to help them through the healing process. You may NEVER get closure with the people you once hurt. That cannot be a stipulation of your self forgiveness, it's not fair to the victim. Your healing has to come from you, and possibly theraputic help or help from someone you trust.
But if you want to stop your own harmful behaviors, you've got to change, move forward, and yes, one day forgive yourself. Because beating yourself up for the rest of your life, as right as it might feel, is not going to make you better. It's not going to help you stop being hurtful.
Healing is an ugly and difficult process, and I sincerely wish luck and strength to anyone attempting it. And I'm sorry to any unhealed people for whom reading this hurts.
the thing is, if your younger self was a bigot or an abuser, u can't make people forgive you. but you still gotta forgive yourself, like that's non-negotiable, dude. that happens before u can even ask the question of earning forgiveness from anyone lese
#i realize im trying to have a nuanced take here on the black-and-white morality website but bear with me here#i also realize im swinging a bat at a hornets nest#but this post has crossed my dash several times now and the replies are really starting to get to me#anyway#warning#abuse#bigotry#bully#bullying#tw abuse#tw bullying#also if this makes anyone reading it want to unfollow me and/or come to my house and beat me up with sticks i understand#good luck on your healing journey#im rooting for you
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#i'm in like. a weird grey area.#i know that I'm not like. a uniquely horrible person.#there are people out there who've done the same thing as me but fully intentionally and without regretting it#but also all these posts that are like 'your past actions don't define you!' 'forgive yourself and move on!'#don't really take into account someone who's done something as awful as i have. so like.#no actually i don't think that raping my ex is something i can just forgive myself for and move on#i think if it Was then that'd be even worse#'don't carry your guilt forever!' okay then what am i supposed to do with it.#i definitely don't want to put it on him lmao. he's suffering enough without having to deal with my bullshit too#and it's not exactly something i can just bring up to vent to friends about.#only two of my friends know the full story bc i'm just too ashamed to give anyone else more than just#a vague 'i unintentionally crossed an important boundary and betrayed his trust#i know if i ever dated someone new then they'd have a right to know. it's not something i could hide in good conscience#so every time i see posts like that i'm just. what do you want me to do with it then#i feel like anything Other than carrying it forever would be unfair to him. why should he have to suffer ptsd for life while i'm fine#idk. i just needed to throw thoughts into the void. I'll shut up now.#if any of my followers see this and decide to unfollow or block me i understand. i wouldn't want to associate with me either.#rape tw#vent
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hate fuckin w aot plz🙏🏿 like uh what position would they fuck you in when they mad?
Fuck me like you mad at me baby.
(Eren Y. Connie S. Armin A.)
A/N: BEAT THAT COOCHIE UP LIKE YOU MAD AT A BITCH! Sorry it took so long to get your request. But let’s just all agree Eren, Connie, Armin are the big three. I’m not arguing with anyone. It’s true. NOT PROOF READ! 17+
Synopsis: Aot men fucking you after an argument!
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༺Connie༻
—————ON DA WALL.
Connie isn’t going to show you he’s mad, but baby you gonna feel it.
And oh boy you done did it today. After he seen you flirt with a guy…jeez. You really got him walking around in circles trying to not scream at the top of his lungs.
You not going to know he’s mad for a while, after an argument and you THINK everything cooled down it hasn’t. He’s still pissed.
Props to him for controlling his anger (Eren could never.) But when you start sweet talking him again that’s when it comes out.
When you get to rubbing on his chest and start saying “I’m so sorry baby, lemme make it up to you. Please.” with that little whine in your voice…oh best believe he gonna make you sorry for real.
He gives you a small grin and says “Oh for real? You wanna make it up to me?” You should have never even offered because now look at you. Against the kitchen wall crying out how sorry you are.
“You sorry ma? How sorry?” The harshness of his voice craving down on you. You couldn’t even spit out a comprehendible sentence just “Yes mmm so sorry!”
He was satisfied with your sorry, after the second round. I mean after all you did offer…
༺Eren༻
—————FROM DA FRONT.
Now, Eren he’s rough rough when he’s mad. Like oh lord..pray he don’t get his hands on you.
Please run while you can, because after he got you alone you can’t run.
This was especially the case after he found out you followed a guy from your work place, the same guy who continuously flirted with you.
Don’t ask him how he knows, he just does.
“I ain’t dumb mama. So go ahead and do as I asked.” The request was so simple, just unfollow him. But the principle pissed you off, you never told him who to follow and who too not. So you refused. Wrong answer…
Because that refusal sent him through the roof. He just laughed while shaking his head. He tossed you on the bed with no regards.
You never been fucked so hard in your life…The headboard slammed against the wall with each thrust he gave you it was ridiculous. “Look at me while I fuck you.” Eren spat out.
Your poor neighbors, the surely heard the madness that was occurring in your bedroom. But Eren did not give a single fuck.
He had your hair twisted in his fingers while he watched you block ole boy on everything single app you had. “Nuh uh. you ain’t done yet. Block him on spotify.” You were going to learn not to go seeking attention from anyone that wasn’t him.
“Nobody’s better than me mama. You should know better than that.”
༺Armin༻
————— BENT OVA.
You would never expect Armin to act the way he acts when he’s MAD.
Of course he got upset with you before but never something that made you change your view on him.
He always tried to be understanding, always listening to what you had to say and what was wrong. But, today was a little different.
He got so mad that you commented on how his friend looked good. He took it as you wanted his friend, but that wasn’t your intention at all.
“Ah, I see. Well just how good did he look y/n?! Why don’t you just tell him how much you want him to fuck you!” His insecurities were really starting to show. But damn, he just look so fucking hot with his button up shirt slightly undone, and his hair sticking to face. His eyes widened, it was a sexy sight. Armin could tell how turned on you were getting from him slightly raising his voice.
“Fuck—y/n. Stop looking at me like that.” The threw his keys on the table while shaking his head. Armin couldn’t look at you while your hand traveled up his shirt rubbing his abdomen. You were making it so difficult for him to be mad at you right now. Especially since you started begging for him to calm down and let you make him feel better.
The small tugs at his shirt just really got him going. He immediately bent you over on the couch, throwing your clothes everywhere. “Can’t even look at you. So fucking filthy.”
You tried to move away from him pounding your insides, hoping to get a break but no. “What the fuck did I tell you about that shit? Just fuckin take it.” Sluts didn’t deserve a break. They didn’t get that courtesy.
Eventually his hatred turned into love and he started spilling out how much he loved you while he was close to cumming. “I love you so much.” & “You mean the world to me.” & “Wanna make you a mommy.”
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Ah! tysm for 400!
#eyena writes♡#eren jeager smut#eren jeager x reader#eren x black fem!reader#eren x black reader#eren x reader#eren x y/n#eren smut#eren x you#eren yeager#armin x black reader#armin x y/n#armin x you#armin smut#armin fluff#armin x reader#plug connie#connie x black reader#connie smut#connie springer#aot connie#aot smut
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Just fair warning- I said on my personal post about this that I wasn't going to talk about Neil Gaiman anymore, but as it's becoming clear that him and his publishers and anyone else who makes money off of him is circling the wagons and trying to bury these allegations, as well as some fans still defending and trying to 'rationalize' this information, I feel like, actually, we need to keep talking about him (as much as I cannot stand him and feel physically disgusted now when I so much as see his face somewhere). Specifically, the fact that he's a liar, master manipulator and should not, under any circumstances, be given access to his fans like he has in the past. At the very least. (And if you need to blacklist his name or even unfollow me so as to not be triggered, I completely understand, but I will always try to tag these posts accordingly and I think it's crucial right now that the truth be put where people can see)
This post specifically is in response to those 'rationalizations' I've seen, some that have gone as far as to blame the young fans/groupies that hooked up with him for being 'golddiggers' or just making a mountain out of a molehill for something they now regret. It's not that simple, yall. (And, again, this requires some amount of completely ignoring the story about him extorting his tenant for sex under threat of eviction of her and her three young children, I'm not sure how you 'rationalize' that under the best of circumstances)
So let's be clear here. What we know is that NG has routinely, for possibly an upwards of 30 years, pulled sexual 'partners' from his fan groups, most of whom are 18-22 year old young women (though possibly younger, accounts are coming forward of 16 year olds having allegedly been inappropriately touched/flirted/propositioned by him, which ig is the age of consent in the UK but still?? 16 year olds!!). This wasn't one or two times in the course of three decades, this was a constant pattern of behavior for him and for a very insidious reason.
This isn't to try to infantilize those fans or young women/young people in general or try to suggest that they couldn't have consented to sex with an older person or famous person. In fact, the onus isn't on them at all. This is about an older guy with a lot of fame, power and wealth choosing to sleep with people that he had already conditioned to idolize him and using that power imbalance to coerce them into doing things they didn't want to.
Regardless of one's age or gender identity, it can be difficult to impossible to say 'no' to someone like that. After all, you've been 'chosen' by the chosen one, you're special and not like everyone else, and if you don't do what the popular person everyone trusts is telling you to do you could end up ostracized. Alienated. Or worse. And you know what? Gaiman knew that! He knew it when he was crafting his 'approachable dad' persona on tumblr. He knew it when he was cultivating a fandom of personality. He knew it when he was having huge meetups to try to ensnare more victims. I hate to even think it, but I'm starting to believe he knew it when he was writing children's books too.
It's been talked about again and again in separate issues, but needless to say something not being strictly illegal does not make it inherently, morally okay. It does not erase the fact that this man has been essentially grooming his fandom to feel safe meeting/speaking with him so he can coerce those he can snare into sexual acts they're not comfortable with. That is predator behavior, whether strictly 'illegal' in the eyes of a court or not (but ofc I think he should be criminally punished even if I'm not naive enough to think he actually will be, because this IS rape and rape should be criminally punished)
I'm not personally advocating for anyone to give up being in his related fandoms, but what I am personally advocating for is that people don't forget who he is and what he's capable of, especially when he tries to crawl back to where he was (I'm almost certain he will eventually, as I've said).
Again, at the very least, we need to use what little influence we do have to keep him from infiltrating fan spaces again. He should not be on tumblr yukking it up with young people, he should not be at public appearances hitting on teenagers, he should not be given the unrestricted access to fans that he's 'enjoyed' for the past 30+ years because he is not a safe person. While I wish there was more in the way of restorative justice that could be done, I think at very, very least we should do what we can to limit his proximity to people he could hurt in the future. Make sure no one forgets, because sweeping this under the rug means Gaiman gets to hurt more people.
Lastly, no one is the wrong for having been manipulated by him. Let's make that very clear. What we're NOT gonna do is blame ourselves, each other, the victims, etc, for evil acts that Gaiman chose to do himself, time and time and time again. It doesn't help the situation and it certainly doesn't protect future potential victims. We were all duped because we're human and we attach and a lot of us want to believe there are good people out there, particularly those who make art that means so much to us.
And there are. But let's also use this a teaching/learning tool about how much faith we place in famous people in the future, regardless of how 'approachable' and 'safe' they might seem. Let's remember to have a healthy suspicion of creators/famous people that are oddly immersed in fandom spaces- yes, even the ones you still currently like that seem fine, as difficult as that may seem.
At the end of the day, we don't know them or what they're capable of doing or what they might be plotting to do to us. Support victims. Amplify their voices. Don't forget.
#neil gaiman#tw neil gaiman#tw sa#tw victim blaming#neil gaiman allegations#ya actually im not gonna shut up about this#bc that's exactly what he wants#fuck off into the sun forever
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Okay. I’m going to wait to do a second watch before I articulate most of my other feelings here, but I want to address one thing.
I’m seeing a lot of posts like, “I related to Izzy because I am also queer and older/disabled/depressed. By killing him off, the writers are saying that I deserve to die.”
Guys.
I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid. I totally understand grieving a character that you relate to. But speaking as a writer, I just want to point out that trying to write with the shadow of “what is the absolute worst and most harmful way a reader can interpret this” will smother your ability to create. Twisting yourself in knots, trying to think up the worst-faith takes possible and scotch-guarding all your writing decisions against them is exhausting to the point of making you just not want to write anymore.
And we’ve seen the writers deliberately choose not to do this in Season 1. Remember all those terrible “Izzy is racist” takes that the writers and cast seemed completely blindsided by? That happened because the writers and directors and actors weren’t going over every scene with a fine tooth comb, ferreting out every shot or line of dialogue or micro expression that could possibly be interpreted as racist, and scrubbing it off. Because there comes a point where your story is what it needs to be, and you have to accept that some people will interpret it in ways you didn’t intend them to. And if you can’t accept that, you’ll never find the courage to put your work out there.
The point of diverse casts and writing teams isn’t to achieve a state of, “Nothing bad ever happens to a character from a marginalized demographic ever again.” It’s to achieve a status quo of these types of characters just being people in the world of the story. Not symbols, not representation boxes to tick, not tokens that you can point to so that you can say, “Here, we acknowledged this type of person exists, now where’s our woke points?”
OFMD is full of characters of color, queer characters, older characters, characters of differing body types. And in stories, things happen to characters. Some fall in love. Some make the same mistakes over and over. Some turn into birds. Some die.
Izzy’s character represents a lot of things, but he does not represent every older, disabled fan or fan who has struggled with suicide, any more than Jim represents all genderqueer fans, or Olu represents all black fans. That’s not how the writers were handling him. They were handling him like a character, because that’s what you have to do.
Again, I understand being sad. I am so, so fucking sad. But this idea of, “Any time something bad happens to a character I relate to means that the writer thinks I deserve these bad things to happen to me,” will poison everything you engage with eventually. Because stories are full of things happening to characters, and they won’t all be good things. And the more representation we get, the more often bad things will happen to characters we relate to.
But good things will happen too.
Queer couples get married. Disabled women run off with their favorite husbands. Middle-aged characters change careers. A multiracial polycule finds a home at sea. A fat man covered in tattoos stars in a drag show and all his friends cheer. All these things happened in the same show as Izzy’s death. This is what this world is.
Anyway. I know emotions are running high and I’ll probably get blocked or unfollowed by a few people for this. But I’m just trying to find my peace where I can, and if anyone else finds this useful, cheers.
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For anyone wondering how treatment is going, it’s the Saga of Bob, Part Six!
The story so far…
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Half-inch hairs get in EVERYTHING.
Some percentage of Tumblr will now unfollow me for my anti-Solas sentiment. I understand this.
Honestly though, this biopsy was flat out awful in the weirdest oh good I’m made of meat way.
An online friend sent me a can of Cougar Gold cheddar, and if he ever needs a kidney, I will lurk in alleys with a scalpel and a bag of dry ice.
It’s not fun to live through, but the treatment is working really, really well, so that’s good news!
(Continued infinite gratitude to the transcribers!)
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The Ex
Hyunjin x fem!reader
Warnings: mentions of injury
Genre: exes to lovers, fluffffff
Summary: Your ex, Hyunjin, calls you at midnight, injured and freaked out. The fact that you're still in love with him may be a problem. Or not.
Your break-up with Hyunjin had been a literal storm. Tear-soaked, heartbreaking, and both of you still so much in love that it hurt beyond words could explain. You didn't understand how it came to it, actually. Watching him walk away was the hardest thing you've ever had to do, and that's an image you can't get off your mind. No matter how hard you try.
You tried to delete his number, unfollow him literally everywhere, and move on with your life. But it was easier said than done. That's why when his number flashes on your phone screen, you freeze.
You almost ignore it. Almost. But something inside you won't let you, and here you are, answering his call.
“Hyunjin?”
There’s a weird silence on his side. You haven't heard his voice since you broke up a couple of months ago, and the anticipation is killing you.
You're starting to think that he made a mistake, when you hear his breath on the other line - heavy and desperate.
“Y/N,” Hyunjin’s voice is shaky, and you sit upright, your heart in your throat.
“Hyunjin? What’s going on?” you ask, ready to run. “Are you ok?”
“I’m at - at the hospital,” he chokes out.
“What? What happened?!” you ask, fear starting to grip you.
“I fell…I was going down some stairs, trying to carry all my art supplies - don’t ask, it’s a long story. But I tripped and fell down the stairs, and my foot, it’s swelling up. It hurts like hell, Y/N, I’m so scared-” His voice breaks, and he takes in a shaky breath. “Someone dropped me here, and I don’t - I don’t even know anyone in this city.”
Your heart sinks, imagining him sitting there, hurt and scared and…alone. You know you should feel nothing for him. Maybe a bit of concern, but nothing else. He's your ex.
But no, that isn’t how your heart works. This is Hyunjin, it says, the guy you spent way too many sleepless nights with, the guy you had to claw out of your chest when you broke up.
“Hello? Y/N?” Hyunjin sounds like a lost little child, his little sobs gripping at your poor heart.
“Hyunjin, take a breath. Oh my God. Stop crying, baby, I’m on my way, okay? I-” You freeze, closing your eyes, cursing yourself for the slip.
You called him baby?!
A beat of silence. You can hear Hyunjin sniffling on the other side, and you panic.
“Oh, uh, I'm sorry, I didn’t mean-” you stutter, before quickly saying, “I'll see you soon.”
You hang up before he can reply, embarrassment coursing through you. You sit on your couch cringing and feeling terrible. Taking a deep breath, you reach for your phone again. You need backup and there’s only one person who can handle Hyunjin like you do.
So, with shaking fingers, you dial Changbin's number, as you make your way to your bedroom. Changbin picks up after about two rings, and says, “Hey babe, you good?”
“I'm not sure, Bin. Hyunjin called me…he’s hurt. He’s at the hospital, and he’s-” You fall silent as you hear Changbin sigh.
You can tell he’s running his hand through his hair the way he always does when he’s dealing with one of your ‘Hyunjin’ emergencies.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll go,” he says, but you both know you’re not going to let him go alone.
“Yeah, no. I’m coming with you. I can’t just sit here while he’s hurt,” you argue, already pulling on a jumper over your t-shirt.
“You’re crazy for doing this, you know that?” Changbin says.
“Yeah, what's new?” you mutter, pulling your jeans on, and then your shoes.
“Alright,” Changbin sighs, but you could hear the smile in his voice. “Let’s go pick up our delicate flower.”
He's over at yours in record time, and gives you an unimpressed look.
“Binnie, not now!” You say as you both get into his car.
The drive is only about an hour, but it feels like hours. You try not to think of the last time you made this journey. It ended up with you coming back alone and so broken. Now, you sit in silence, Changbin can feel you unraveling.
He shoots you a look and asks, “You okay?”
You let out a hollow laugh.
“I mean, my ex, with whom I’m still kind of in love with, is in the hospital. So, I guess I’m as fine as I can be.”
“Kind of? Who are you kidding?” Changbin raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips.
“Ok, shut up.” you mumble, cheeks burning and you look away, hoping he'll leave it alone.
But he just laughs, putting his hand on yours.
“I get it, ok? You’re a good person for doing this, Y/N.” he says softly, and you feel a tear prickle at the corner of your eye.
You blink it back, trying your best to hold it together.
“He must have moved on, right?” you say, fidgeting with the hem of your jacket.
“If you're talking about Hwang Hyunjin, I can assure you that he’s still head over heels for you, even if he won’t admit it.”
You manage a small smile at that and say, “You think?”
“No, I know,” Changbin says, smiling, “He wouldn’t have called you if he wasn't. You’re still the only person who can get through to him.”
“I’m so lucky to have you, you know that?” You say, squeezing his hand.
“You are,” he agrees, flashing you a cocky smirk. “And you’re welcome. Now, let’s go remind Hyunjin that he’s not a fragile old man on his deathbed.”
By the time you finally get to the hospital, your nerves are buzzing. You walk in with Changbin by your side, his hand a steady presence at your back.
And there he is, slumped in a chair with his injured foot propped up, wearing a miserable, pouty expression, and it's so adorable, it crushes you almost immediately.
When his eyes land on you, they light up and he's reaching out to you.
“You came!” His voice cracks, and you hate that it makes your heart flutter.
He takes your hand in his and presses his cheek to it, and holds onto you like he’s afraid you’ll slip away. “You actually came?”
You’re still mad at yourself for caring this much, but you don't regret anything. Not after seeing him like this.
“Yeah, you idiot. Of course I did.” you say gently, sitting near him.
He looks away, probably trying to hide his tears, and mutters, “I thought you’d never want to see me again.”
You’re about to reply when Changbin clears his throat.
“Hello to you too Hyunjin. Oh, how am I? I'm good!” He says dryly, making you laugh.
Hyunjin narrows his eyes at Changbin, rolling them even though he’s still clutching your hand.
“I knew she'll call you, I just-” Hyunjin tries, but Changbin snorts in response.
“You're sneaky little-” Changbin begins but a nurse comes over and says that Hyunjin’s doctor has taken a look at his x-rays and wants to talk to him.
Changbin helps him into the wheelchair and you all move into the examination room where the doctor tells him that it's a sprain, and he'll have to rest his foot for sometime.
Once outside, Changbin tells him, “No more carrying your entire art studio down the stairs.”
“Hey, I didn't have anyone to help me!” Hyunjin says.
“I wonder who's fault it is!” Changbin shoots back, and Hyunjin pouts, crossing his arms against his chest, as you bite back a laugh.
You all sit at the waiting area, wondering what to do next. As you look at Hyunjin, all the messy feelings you’ve buried rush to the surface. You know it’s stupid, probably really reckless, but you can't help it. You love this man so damn much.
Hyunjin sniffles, studying the bandage on his foot before looking at you.
“Are you ok?” You ask, seeing how tired he looked.
“When I fell, I was so scared…I thought I would die…like my entire life flashed before my eyes. It was horrible,” he says. “And, all I felt was regret. I… I was an idiot. I should have fought for us.”
His words are definitely pulling at your heartstrings. Your eyes meet Changbin's, sitting on Hyunjin’s other side. He raises his eyebrows, knowing exactly where this is going. Before you can say anything, Hyunjin is leaning into you, his fingers intertwined with yours.
“I won’t survive a single day without you,” he whispers. “I mean, look at me. You left me, and here I am - falling down stairs, breaking bones-”
“It's a sprain, Hyunjin,” You remind him with a smile.
“But it feels broken. I feel broken…without you…”
“Jinnie-” You start, not knowing what exactly to say to him.
Your heart twists painfully. You don't know if this is a good idea, but that doesn't stop you from wanting him.
“Before you two start making out in front of me, I’m gonna go get some coffee,” Changbin's voice cuts in.
Hyunjin grins, cupping your cheek with his hand. He ignores Changbin completely, and says, “If you'll have me, I promise to never let you go. I promise I'll be good.”
And before you can stop yourself, you lean in, pressing your lips to his in a soft kiss. He's pulling you closer, kissing you deeper, but you put a hand to his chest, gently pushing him back. You are still at the hospital, and people are starting to notice.
When Changbin returns, you both carefully put Hyunjin in the backseat. He grabs hold of your hand as you're about to shut the door, and wants you to sit with him.
He clings onto you the entire drive home, sneaking kisses - so many kisses. And also persuades you to spend the night at Changbin's, so you end up cuddling him to sleep.
And you sleep peacefully for the first time since your break up.
#stray kids#skz#skz stay#hyunjin#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin x you#hyunjin x y/n#hyunjin fluff#skz fluff#stray kids fluff#stray kids x reader#skz x reader
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🩷🌸PROTECT YOUR ENERGY🌸🩷
🩷🌸Your energy is sacred and precious. It is so important to protect, cherish and nourish your energy in this chaotic world. Stop giving away your energy as if it is not valuable and precious currency. Do not give away your energy to mindlessly consuming things on the internet or to other people. Stop being always available. Not everything or everyone needs our response🩷🌸
🩷DO NOT DWELL ON THE NEGATIVE
Stop giving your energy and attention to things you do not want to see. Focus on the positive things , shift from complaining to gratitude. You can also repeat the mantra -
" I am now through my sovereign divine right calling back my power and my energy from all the people , places and past events where I have given my energy away consciously or unconsciously where my energy has been taken without my consent or with my consent. I call back my energy now . "
🌸SET BOUNDARIES
Boundaries are more about you than other people. If you have a diamond at home , you will protect it , right ? Similarly, your energy is ad precious and valuable as a diamond. Protect it. I made a post on summary of Tam Kaur video on boundaries. I would suggest you to read it. Click me !!!
🩷SELF-CARE
Make self-care your daily ritual. Workout , Meditate , Do Yoga , Mirrorwork , listen to Guided meditation and do breath-work. These things work miraculously. It is the little things that matter.
🌸BE MINDFUL
Be mindful of what you consume. On social media , there are people who feed on negativity . On youtube , you may find some youtubers who love to feed on negativity and offend people to get views and engagement. Please do not waste your time watching those youtubers , watch youtubers who inspire you , it can be the wizard liz , if you want to take inspiration for mindset or it can be a productive vlog . Anything which will inspire you and help you to level up in your life. I would recommend you to check out these two posts where I mentioned youtubers who can help you to be motivated and productive - click me and click me !! Unfollow influencer or celebrities you do not like , give you bad vibes or make you feel insecure. Follow content which will motivate and educate you. Do not engage in a conversation with toxic people. Let them be. Limit your exposure to negative influences. Do not be friends with anyone , not everyone deserves your attention and energy.
🩷DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
It is never personal. Whatever people say about you , it is not about you. It is a reflection about them .
🌸CLEAN YOUR SELF-TALK
You do not have to believe everything you think. You have the right to choose what you believe. Write down your negative thoughts and switch them with positive ones.
I cannot do this -- I can do anything I put my mind into .
No one believes in me --- I believe in myself and that is enough.
🩷TAKE A BREAK
Stop mindlessly scrolling . Take a break from social media. Social media can be extremely draining. Put a time limit on social media. Be as intentional you can be about the media you consume. Follow positive influencers which will motivate and educate you.
🌸GRATITUDE
" A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles ".
When was the last time you were truly grateful for what you have ? Here is a small thing you need to do - before going to bed , think about the five things you are grateful for.Thank God or Universe for the blessings. Shift your focus from complaining to gratitude.
🩷FIND HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS
Over-eating , smoking or drowning yourself in alcohol to numb your emotions will not heal you. Be courageous enough to deal with your emotions. Journal your emotions , do shadow work , meditate , cry or exercise. Adopt healthy coping mechanisms , they will help you in future too.
🌸CHOOSE YOURSELF
Choose yourself. Put yourself first.Be your own best friend. Be your biggest fan. Put your needs and wants first. You can never leave you , you will always be there for yourself.
🩷UNDERSTAND WHEN YOUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOURS.
Sometimes our thoughts do not belong to us , they belong to some comment we read on internet . Ask yourself- " Are these really my thoughts ? " . If the answer is no , do not entertain those thoughts and let them go.
🌸🩷That is all for today. I hope this post helped you. Do not just read and like this post , apply the tips too ! Please protect your energy , it is precious , so are you !!!!🩷🌸
#self concept#affirmations#it girl#protect your energy#girlblogging#girlblogger#this is a girlblog#pink#girly#inner peace#boundaries#it girl mentality#self love#self care#confidence#glow up#the wizard liz#lisa alexandra#tam kaur#self help#self improvement#lavendaire#wonyoungism#dream girl#kawaii#dream life#mindset#aesthetic#emotionally intelligent#becoming that girl
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