#unfortunately size limits are a thing lol

[naturalkillercyborg]

The animation of Pink Floyd's The Wall (1982)

[emphistic]

Hiii I wanted to say I love yours works and was wondering how sukuna would react to yuuji wanting us to be his valentines 💓💓💓

Yuuji knows what chocolates you do and do not like. . . Actually, he didn’t. Sukuna did, however. And — being the awesomest brother he was — told Yuuji, albeit not for free. The boy had to earn it (Sukuna’s words) by mopping the floors of the apartment. Why did Sukuna choose such an odd way of payment? Who knows. And then, of course, Sukuna had to accompany Yuuji to the store in order to purchase said chocolates.

Yuuji isn’t sure what flowers you do and do not like. But he didn’t care; he thought all flowers were beautiful no matter what color, shape, size, and that each flower was pretty and unique in its own way. That’s what he repeated to himself in his head as he picked flowers straight from the dirt in the gardens outside your apartment complex.

Yuuji sees you wear some colors more than others. So he assumes you like those best. That’s what he thinks to himself as he colors in a card for you using those exact colors with his crayons. And though they weren’t a carbon copy — since he was working with very limited resources — his brain didn’t notice. And neither did you, when you received the card.

Yuuji loves you, a lot. He loves you a lot. Yuuji loved how caring you were when he got a boo-boo. Yuuji loved how good your cooking tasted compared to everyone else's. Yuuji loved how you would sing him to sleep — he, like his brother, thought your voice was amazingly lovely. Yuuji loved how funny you were, the jokes you would tell to cheer him up, and they worked. They always worked. Yuuji loved how soft your hands were when brushing through his unruly pink locks, much like his brother. Yuuji loved how you showered him with your undivided attention.

Yuuji was a smart kid . . . sometimes. He saw the way his brother changed when you started coming over to the apartment more and more often. Even when he was very little, he noticed. He noticed that after you permanently moved into the apartment, Sukuna was softer towards him. Sukuna smiled more. Sukuna laughed more. Sukuna loved more.

And so, Yuuji loved you a lot. Because, most importantly, he loved how you changed Sukuna — for the better.

Unfortunately, and like most kids, one thing he didn’t love was . . . school.

School, a center for learning to some and a prison to most. But if he didn’t go to school, how would he learn what Valentine’s Day was? How would he know that Valentine’s Day was a holiday to celebrate love, friendship, and admiration, for those you call special? He wouldn’t. Yeah, in a nutshell, long story short, however you want to call it, Yuuji wouldn’t know. He wouldn’t know what Valentine’s Day was. But, without you, he wouldn’t even know what love was — save for his brother, [occasionally], of course.

And what did Sukuna do? — Since he loved Yuuji so much? He fixed the little kiddo a tie and suit, of course! Yuuji looked utterly dashing wearing Sukuna’s suit; the pants were dragging a bazillion feet behind the boy and the tie was completely off-centered. (Were you expecting a suit tailored and sized for a little boy? LOL.) Maybe Sukuna did that on purpose. Maybe not. Sukuna did happen to snap a picture, though. Oh, he was so going to use this as blackmail once Yuuji grew older.

Yuuji thought he had finally obtained the confidence and big muscles of a man when he grew the courage to sit you down on the couch so he could “talk” to you. But as soon as he saw you looking attentively at him with the most gorgeous eyes he had ever seen in his whole four years on this planet, he nearly experienced heart palpitations right then and there.

Coming to the rescue, Sukuna came over and patted his younger brother on the back. Nodding at him in reassurance.

You had to admit, Yuuji looked absolutely adorable whilst he stuttered over big, complicated words not fit for a mere child, but when he finally got it, he shoved the chocolates, flowers, and card into your hands.

“And—and, I wan’ to ask you to be my va . . . wen . . . tine. . . Vawentine!” It took him a few tries to remember the “correct” pronunciation and to sound out the word syllable by syllable, but what mattered most was that he got it — in the end.

Yuuji raised his arms into the air, for some odd reason, like a person cheering or celebrating. Speaking of which — in this case, he would be celebrating his finally having gotten the hang of saying the word ‘valentine’. But he just looked so precious that you couldn’t even find the heart to tease him about it. Not even a little bit.

And if you were paying a little more attention to your surroundings, you would see that Sukuna was in the corner of the room, slowly and silently moving his lips as in a way to help Yuuji sound out the tough word.

“Thank you, Yuuji! — For all the gifts.” You scooped him up into your arms, peppering kisses all over his face. “I love you so, so much! Of course I’ll be your valentine. You are just too cute, aren’t ya?” You pinched his chubby cheek, eliciting a squeal from the boy. “Such an adorable little baby. I just want to put you in my pocket and take you everywhere with me.”

Yuuji nodded fervently, although he didn’t understand a thing you had just said.

All the while, Sukuna crossed his arms over his chest, huffing, before facing away from you two.

“Aww, are you mad that you're not my baby?” You turned your attention towards your boyfriend — who continued sulking — and so did his little brother, still snuggled in your arms.

“What the fu—what the heck? No.”

“That you’re not my honey bun?”

“Stop.”

“That you’re not my sweetie poo?”

“Oh my God.”

“That you’re not my—”

He cut you off, turning around and swiftly slapping a hand over your mouth so fast you didn’t even see it coming. But, what you were able to do was: lick a stripe up his hand covering your mouth.

“Eugh! You just always have to ruin my day, don’t you?” Sukuna grimaced, pulling back and wiping his wet hand on his hoodie. You let out a cheeky laugh in reply.

“I think that someone . . . is a little jealous. Don’t you agree, Yuuji?”

He nodded. “Mhm!”

“I am not jealous, matter of fact. You all are just stupid.”

“Stupid?” You raised a brow, wanting to see where Sukuna was going with this.

“Yeah. Valentine’s Day is for couples. Couples. Not friends. Not . . . not anyone else. So, Yuuji can’t be your valentine.” He smirked at the now frowning boy in your arms. “Sucks to suck.”

“We are a couple. A couple of fwends.” Yuuji nodded profusely.

“Doesn’t count.”

“Yuh huh!”

“Nuh uh.” Sukuna stuck out his tongue jokingly at his younger brother.

“My teacher told me that—that Valentine’s Day is for friends, too. She said it is also a day for fwendship.”

“Well, your teacher is stupid.”

Yuuji clawed at your arms, trying to escape in order to jump out at his brother. He was mad. Big mad.

“Yuuji, no. No fighting.”

“That’s right. Listen to your friend, Yuuji. Listen to your friend, who’s not your valentine.”

At this, Yuuji flew out of your arms and lunged at his brother, tackling him onto his back on the couch.

-

Moving on, it’s safe to say that the next day at school, Yuuji told all of his classmates that his valentine was an angel.

Taglist: @beyond-your-stars @sad-darksoul @mochimoee @r0ckst4rjk @lillycore @deepchromatose @yinyinyinyinyinyin @fivehoneyharg @desihopelessromantic @taiyakii @hannas16 @acroso @msvalsius @call-memissbrightside

[iamespecter]

Sorry for not being as active as I used to be y'all, I haven't been on here because I've been pouring most of my focus into finishing a backlog of commissions and it has unfortunately left me with no energy to interact and socialize here lol

For the past week alone I've been working on this BEAST of a comm, and both me and my setup had a bit of a technical difficulty with just how BIG this specific commission was, in terms of details and quite literally file size too (this was originally a 5000x3000 piece, which caused a lot of black screens and me waiting for my PC to catch up everytime a 15-minute autosave was happening)

I feel like me suddenly being inactive was a necessary thing as well because as much as I don't want to admit it, my socials have been a bit... distracting... in this pursuit, and I am realizing a very concerning problem. And as such, I had to cut off and limit the amount of times I will be present here in an effort to exert self-control and instill discipline on myself.

I do not have anything new to show unfortunately, and may continue to NOT be able to show anything Digital Circus AU or fandom content at all, so all I can say is I'm sorry is this post is disappointing news because you followed me for that kinda thing.

Also I got a tooth infection(?) and a pink eye lol, how fun /s (don't worry though, I'm still fine and not really in a painful situation, just a minor inconvenience)

[genericpuff]

Oh nooo the mention of the XIV figures is a grim reminder that the sample LO piece in photos is most likely the best looking on ;-;

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

okay but have you seen the new alisaie and alphinaud dolfie dream figures

now THAT'S expensive, holy fuck 😭 but to their credit, they're also like, fully poseable dolls with props, the LO figures just stand there and they don't look great for the cost they're demanding (it's the fact that they're limited edition and are only making like 800 of them that they're likely charging so high to ensure they make back the production costs)

a better comparison IMO would be to SE's static figures which are still often either poseable (usually just the heads / arms ) or come with additional accessories that can be swapped out like the faces / weapons / etc.-

unfortunately due to manufacturing costs (and shipping when they offer free shipping deals) figures are always pretty expensive, but they could at least, idk... look a little better for that price? I'm gonna assume the solo figures will at least be cheaper (but boy do they look cheaper to boot) and honestly the H x P figure isn't awful, I'm just not a huge fan of the faces (again Persephone has that Tim Burton face going on and I've just never really been into that a whole lot tbh). A pal actually pointed out that you can see a little crater where Hades' nose is displacing Persephone's skin and that's just so fucking funny LOL (and when you see it up close, again the characters look like they would be gross to touch, they look sweaty) 🤮

It seems to at least be a decent size as well but it's hard to tell from the photo comparisons. I said it in my previous post and I'll say it again, even the figures aren't consistent in their designs and that's all owed to Rachel's lack of character design consistency throughout the series LMAO

Again, I'm not planning on spending my money on this, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little tempted. But that's the ADHD "must hoard all the things" brainworm taking shape as the Vow of Resolve at play, definitely not the Vow of Reason if you catch my drift LMAO

[justmeinadaze]

Take It Out On Me Part 21 (Steddie X Plus Size Reader)

A/N: Ok so I wanted to do kinda like a Scream like thing but didn't realize until I started writing this out that I'm limited by the technology of the 80s lol But I made it work with what I had lol I hope you enjoy.

There is a 2 year time jump from the last chapter.

Warnings: Daddy Steve/ Sir Eddie & Sub Fem Plus Size Reader; SMUT, of the rougher variety, they are roleplaying and she asks them to be this way and scare her, spitting, choking, slapping, spanking, threatening, brief knife play (they tear off her dress), public play (in the school after hours), handcuffs, FLUFF near the beginning and very end (aftercare is given of course <3 ), ANGST, this is a role-play and everyone has given consent especially the reader, I WOULD NEVER WRITE A VERSION OF THESE TWO THAT WOULDNT STOP IF SHE SAID THE SAFE WORD!, they do call her and threaten her over the phone, she's chased down a hallway, lots of intimidation.

Word Count: 4198

Two years had passed since the incident with Eddie’s mom and he seemed to be doing so much better. He had really been focusing in on his music and Corroded Coffin spent every other night practicing and doing whatever they could to save money for some studio time. 

Steve still worked at Family Video with Robin but he had been looking into other alternatives like opening his own business. His friend and her current girlfriend had suggested the three of them start a non-profit to help kids who were kicked out of their homes or on the run due to unfortunate circumstances. You three understand that better than most and that was one of her greatest fears when it came to telling her family about her sexuality. 

You were on your senior year at college and ready to graduate. Taking Steve’s advice (and Eddie’s adamant approval of the idea), you majored in teaching with a minor in English hoping to teach high school kids in the future. Your courses required an internship and one teacher at Hawkins High was more than accommodating. 

“Y/N! Always good to see you. How are the other troublemakers?”

“They’re good, Mr. C. I do have a favor to ask if that’s alright.”, you giggle.

As soon as Eddie found out, he was so overjoyed like a kid in a candy store. 

“Mr. C! How’s my favorite teacher?!”

“Jesus Christ. Hello, Mr. Munson. How can we help you today?”, he sighed.

He always acted annoyed but you knew he cared about the metalhead like he did all his other students. 

“Oh, I’m just here to have lunch with the love of my life. Sweetheart, get out so you don’t get too jealous.”

You laugh at his antics as the teacher rolls his eyes. 

“It’s been 5 years.”, you announce as Steve steps into the living area, drying his hair. 

“Uh, I’ve been in the shower for like 15minutes but okay.”

“No, you goof. It’s been 5 years since we got together. Well, I mean, since you cornered me in a classroom.”, you giggle.

“And fucked you till your eyes rolled. You’re welcome.”, Eddie sasses from his spot by the window. 

“Is there a particular reason you wanted us to know that? Did you want to do something, honey?”, the other man asks as he leans against the counter. “We didn’t have something planned already because I thought we decided our official anniversary was when we officially got together a year after.”

“I know, Daddy. I just…it’s 5 years. I feel we should do something to commemorate it right?”

The metalhead tosses out his cigarette and closes the window before coming over to sit beside you on the couch. 

“What did you have in mind?”

Biting your bottom lip, you head for the case of movies and grab a couple before handing them to Eddie. 

“These are all scary movies. Well except this one about the girl stalking the guy.”

“Yeeeeah. I, um, I was thinking we could try that…like role play.” Both men exchange a look you can’t read and you immediately feel yourself get self-conscious. “I was just thinking you know? Those first few times when we were together like that first night or even the night you two snuck into my room the end of junior year. That was so hot. Not to say, what we do now isn’t hot. Just that—”

A palm comes up from behind you to cover your mouth and you lean back into Steve’s warm chest. 

“You’re over thinking again.”, he grins. “I mean, we can try it. Do you want us to go that far?”, he asks pointing towards the movies in his friend’s hand. “How far is too far?”

“Don’t hurt, hurt me. No like punching or cutting my skin or anything. When I think about it, you guys doing this to me, more than anything…I want you to scare me.”

Eddie’s head ticks to the side at your statement. “Why? No. Why?”, he repeats when you shrug.

“It’s a different level of control, I guess. That first night, I wasn’t scared of you. I was scared of how you made me feel but I’ve never been afraid of you.” You smile when Steve softly kisses your cheek.

“If we do this, I think we should set some ground rules now. We already have one which is no punching or cutting. Of course, we would never do that, sweetheart.” The long-haired boy flashes you a comforting grin before he continues. “If we’re dropping into this headspace, Y/N, that means we probably won’t be asking you for a color but that doesn’t mean you can’t say them or the safe word. Promise us if at any point you feel uncomfortable you’ll use it.”

“I promise, Sir. 100%.”

“What about you, Stevie? Anything you can think of?”

“Not that I can think of.”

Eddie nods in agreement. 

“Alright, baby. Your wish is our command.”

###############

For the next week, you let your imagination run wild with what they could be planning. Everything ran like normal and nothing they did stood out to you to trigger the notion for you that the game was about to begin. You gave them free reign to choose the time and date but the anticipation was killing you. 

That following Friday, you had called to tell them you would be staying late at the school to work on some stuff for Mr. C who had to leave earlier that day to take care of his sick wife. Wearing your Walkman and listening to the mix tape Eddie had made you for your birthday awhile back, you hummed as you graded papers. 

The phone on the desk ringing abruptly startles you as you grab your chest and yank off your headphones. Thinking it may be one of the boys, you answer without hesitation. 

“Hello? Mr. Castillo’s classroom.”

“Hello there. Well, don’t you sound sweet. Is he available?”, a deep voice you didn’t recognize asked. 

“I’m sorry. He’s out for the evening. Can I take a message?”

“Oh, honey. No need to worry. I can just try again later.”

“Alright. Well, have a good night.”

“Wait a minute. If he’s gone why are you there?”

“I’m Mr. Castillo’s teaching intern but he had a family emergency so I’m just helping him get things done. Are you sure I can’t take a message or something?”

“No. I can deliver it myself. I’d rather talk to you.”

“Look, if this isn’t school related and you don’t want to leave a message I’m going to have to hang up.”

“Ooo so sassy. I love it. Sounds like you need someone to teach you, Miss Teacher. Give you a lesson on respect.”

“I don’t respect assholes. I’m ending this conversation. Don’t call again or else.”

“Or else what?”, he chuckled causing a chill to run down your spine. 

“Fuck off.” You slammed down the phone but you still felt uneasy. Dialing the apartment, you prayed one of them was home but to your dismay no one picked up. As soon as you placed the receiver back on its dock, it rung again. “H-Hello?”

“Don’t ever hang up on me again, Y/N.”, the voice growled and you quickly rose to your feet in panic at the sound of your name. 

“I-I just called my boyfriend’s. They are on their way right now so you should j-just leave.”

“Aw, sweetheart. You think Eddie and Steve can save you? That’s so cute.”

“Don’t mock me. They take care of me!” You try to control the tears of fear that threaten to fall as you remain as confident sounding as possible. 

“Oh, little one. Trust me. Your Master and Daddy can’t protect you from us.”

“Fuck you!”

“That’s the plan, pretty girl, and with that sexy ass dress you have on, it won’t be hard.”

You dropped the phone and ran out of the classroom towards the front door of the school. Tugging on it aggressively, you whined when it wouldn’t budge. The phone in the front office blared loudly making you scream. Shakily, you headed towards it, sobbing as you put the speaking to your ear. 

“Where do you think you’re going, little girl? It’s just us three tonight, baby. NO ONE is coming to save you.”

“Please…” The voice snickers at your pleading.

“Let’s play a game, Y/N. Run and hide but if we catch you we fuck you.”

“W-W-Why? If you can see me, just fucking get it over with!”

“I like the idea of you thinking there’s hope when there isn’t.”

He laughs again, making you angry. 

“No. I won’t play your game. F-Fuck you.”

The growl that flowed through had your knees weaken as panic once again flowed through you. 

“Run. Now.”

“NO!” 

The line disconnected and you stifled your sobs as you slowly tiptoed back out into the hallway. A throat clearing startled you as you turned to see a tall figure dressed from head to toe in all black, his face except for his eyes and mouth were covered. A sinister smile spread as he pulled a knife from his pocket and flashed it in your direction, taunting you as he wiggled it between his fingers. 

The man bolted forward and you ran in the opposite direction like you had never run before. Yanking open the auditoriums doors, your goal was to hide in the sound booth and lock yourself in but as soon as you ran across the stage, however, you were met with another figure dressed the same way as the other sitting haphazardly in one of the auditorium seats. 

His legs were crossed as his arms hung over the backs of the chairs with a smug grin on his face. It was almost like he was expecting you to come this way. 

Long arms tackle you from behind and you fight back as the other man wrestles you to the floor of the stage. While he tries to pin your arms down, you get in one good smack across his slightly more protected cheek before he responds by doing the same. Dizzy by the force, you allow him to get the upper hand as he turns you on to your tummy and pressed his knee into your back as he moves around behind you. 

You whimper as your arms are tugged behind your back and you hear the clinking metal before leather is wrapped around both your wrists handcuffing you in place. 

The figure in front of you all too casually stands up and walks up to the stage, kneeling down slightly so his face was level with yours.  

“Boo.”, he teases, laughing when you cringe away. Sighing, he reaches for his mask and pulls it off his face, exhaling in pleasure at the cool air. 

Your eyes quickly took note of Eddie’s features. His own eyes were dark like they normally where when you played rough but there was a coldness behind them that made the little girl inside you tremble. 

“Jesus. Do you know how long it takes for people to fully empty this building? I thought we were never going to be alone.”

You feel movement behind you again and right as you glance behind you Steve pulls off his mask as well. 

“Yeah, man, but we have her now.”

Wiggling underneath his hold, he turns you on to your back and straddles his legs over your waist.

“STOP moving, God damn it. We gave you a chance to run and hide but you didn’t want to play.”, he growled as he pointed a finger in your face. Like with Eddie, Steve’s eyes were different; darker. They both exuded a new type of confidence that had your pussy clenching between your thighs. “Nothing to say now that we’re in front of you, huh, little girl? Where did all that sass go?”

“Hm. I don’t think she’s there yet, Steven.”

“What do you mean?”

“Little girl here seems to think she’s still in some kind of control. Don’t you, babe?”, Eddie mocks making you cringe. “See. That right there.” His head tilts as his palm reaches out to grab your throat. “That little face she made. I don’t know what your boyfriends have been letting you get away with but it won’t happen here. Do you understand me?”

“Yes.”

You gasped as his hand tightened its grip. 

“Yes what?”

“Yes, I understand.”, you choke out as he releases you. 

They both chuckle as the man above you manhandles you back onto your stomach and tugs on your hair as he guides you to your knees. With one hand, Steve fumbles with his belt buckle and hastily unzips his pants before pulling out his cock that was now level with your face.

“Open.” You shook your head at his command, wincing when he pulled back on your hair. “I wasn’t asking. Open your mouth.”

Eddie slides onto his knees beside you, reaching under the bottom of your dress, and runs his fingers through your folds. 

“Little slut is so wet but won’t do as she’s told.”, he sighs with a condescending tone. “Open your mouth.” You don’t move or say anything even when the metalhead shoves two of his digits into your entrance. Steve’s angry eyes remain locked on yours, smirking when he sees them flutter as you try to do everything you can to keep your moans from escaping out of your mouth. 

“Open, Y/N.”

When you don’t respond, he thrusts into you faster and you feel your body quickly running towards that ledge. Just as you were about to fall, however, he stopped his movements making you whine in your throat. 

“Ready to behave?”

You did something then that you would never do with Eddie and Steve under any normal circumstances. In a defiant gesture, you spit in the long-haired boys face. After wiping it with his hand, he shifts his gaze back to you and flashed you smile that made your blood run cold (and your pussy drench around his still fingers).

“Oh we’re going to have so much fun with you, little girl.”

Eddie pumped his fingers again at a fast pace as you struggled to catch your breath. Right now, you were breathing mostly through your nose but it wasn’t enough with how he was building you up. When he stopped again, tears ran down your cheeks. Once he felt like your pending orgasm had fully dissipated, he started over but this time his thumb reached up to message your clit. 

You couldn’t stop it from happening. Your mouth opened as you let out a loud moan and Steve took the opportunity to guide his cock into your mouth. Eddie removed his fingers, making you jump as he lightly smacked you between your legs. 

Trying to move your head back, the metalhead held you in place as the other boy began thrusting his hips. 

“Fuck me. Her mouth feels so good. Hold her still.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not letting her go anywhere.”

“Shit. How do you think I-I should take her, man? I’m just dying to feel that pussy.”

“It’s up to you, dude. She’s our toy to use how we please. Little whore can handle anything, can’t you, babe?”

Drool dribbled down your chin as the boy continued to fuck your face making him groan at the sight. 

“Fuck, I need her now.” After pulling out his cock, you were pushed back down onto the stage, freezing when you felt steel touch you skin. “Don’t move.” 

You heard the sound of tearing fabric and shivered when the cold air caressed your skin as your now cut apart dress was tossed aside. Grabbing your hips, you were tugged backwards towards Steve who was now on his knees as well. 

Lining himself up, he roughly pushed his cock into your dripping cunt and you both mewled as he held you tightly against him. 

Hearing the clinking of another belt buckle grabbed your attention as you lifted your head to see Eddie sauntering towards you. 

“If you cum, when it’s my turn, I’m going to make sure that you’re sore between your legs for the next month. Do I make myself clear?”

“J-Jesus. She fucking liked that.”

His head slanted as he waited for your answer. Eddie knew you believed he was telling the truth because he saw the one thing you asked for push through your gaze; fear. 

“Yes, Sir. I understand.”

“I’m going to help keep your mind distracted.” His pants fell to his ankles as he stroked his cock a few times in front of your face. “Open.”

This time you didn’t argue or protest as you opened your mouth wide and encased your lips around him. The metalhead’s ringed hand rested behind your head as it bobbed along his length. 

“Come on, little girl. You can do better than that.” Suddenly, you felt another palm land on your hair and forcibly moved your head for you, making you gag as his cock hit the back of your throat. “You can take it all. We know you can.”

You tried keeping up with the pace they set for you but every time your head didn’t go low enough, Steve pushed you into the other boy’s lap causing you to drool and spit all over him. 

“You love this don’t you, you little whore. You like to spit.”, Eddie sneered, licking his lips while you whimpered around him. 

Steve’s thrusts started to falter, giving you sense of pride knowing he was about to cum and you hadn’t yet but your relief was short lived when he reached around and rubbed your clit with his fingers. You pushed back against their hands as your head hung in front of you. 

“No! I’m…I’m not supposed to cum. Please!”

The man ignored you as he continued till he grunted and coated your walls with his release. As he aggressively pounded into till he was empty, your own body trembled in his hold as the coil broke and you came.

Calloused fingers lifted your face from under your chin to meet Eddie’s oddly calm features. 

“Did you just cum even though I said you couldn’t?”

“I-I-I’m sorry. I tried. I tried so hard. Please.”, you cried.

Steve backed away as Eddie leaned over you to unhook your handcuffs. You took the opportunity to your advantage, resting your head in the nook between his neck and shoulder as you sobbed while continuing to apologize.

“You wanna help me, man?”

Taking hold of your hair, the metalhead walked towards the front of the stage before letting you go to jump down. Something grabbed your shoulder and your body was slammed down flat onto your back as Steve grabbed your wrists, bringing your arms above your head so he could restrain you with the handcuffs once again.

Eddie hovered over you, eyes scanning your sweaty features. 

“Open your mouth and stick out your tongue.” After doing what he commands, you watch with wide eyes as he spits between your lips. “Since you love spit so much, hang onto that for me. If you can keep it in there till I say, I may actually let you cum.”

Standing to his full height, he lifts one of your legs over his shoulder and you whine as he guides himself into you entrance. 

True to his word, his hips slam into yours with rough abandon, your eyes squeezing shut as you focus on not swallowing the nicotine flavored salvia that currently rests on you tongue. Steve’s palms slide down your arms to your breasts eliciting a soft moan as his fingers graze your nipples. 

Eddie’s tip abuses your g-spot, overwhelming you with a feeling of euphoria that has tears falling down your face.

"Fuck! Your pussy feels too good.”, he groans as he spanks your ass, slowing his pace. “Look at me, little girl.” When you don’t move, he leans over you and lightly slaps your cheek. “Look at me.”

Your eyes flutter open and they both can’t help but smirk at your fucked out, glassy eyed expression. 

“Swallow.”

Nodding, you do it and open your mouth for him to show you listened. 

“Good girl. You wanna cum?”, Eddie coos as his nose softly caress your own.

“Please.”

“That’s it, baby. Beg me. Beg me to make you cum.”

“Mmm—please. I need you to make me cum again. I want to cum so bad, Sir, please.”

The metalhead’s mouth fell open as he thrust into you with purpose while his thumb came down to play with your clit.

“Shit. Cum with me, Y/N. I want to—mmm— fill you up as your tight little pussy clings to me.”

When you nod you head, his thumb moves faster against your nub and after a few more aggressive thrusts, you stumble over the edge right as rope after rope of his seed warms your insides.

The room goes quiet and all that can be heard is the two of you panting for air. 

“Baby girl.”, Steve whispers above you in a much softer tone than before. “Can you open your eyes for me, honey?”

When you do what he asks, you are meet with his gentle and love filled face. 

“There she is. Are you ok? Do you need anything?”

“C-Can you free my hands, Daddy?”

“Shit. Yeah, of course. I’m sorry.” 

While he removed your restraints, Eddie grabbed a bag that was in one of the auditorium chairs and jumped up beside you onto the stage.

“Drink this, sweetheart.”

“Can you help me, Sir? My arms kinda hurt.”

“Yeah, pretty girl. I can help you.”

Placing the water bottle by your lips, he guides your head back as you chug down the liquid.

“Now, did you want to shower here or at home? We can head towards the gym or—”

“I’d like to go home please. I’m sleepy.”

“I can imagine. Do you think you can walk?”

“I can carry her. Just run to the classroom real quick and grab her stuff. We’ll meet you at the van.”

#############

A small smile remained painted across your lips while the three of you sat in the bathtub as they cleaned you. 

“I don’t think she’ll be coming down from cloud 9 anytime soon.”, Eddie chuckled. “I assume we did good?”

“Very good.”

“Nothing felt over the line?”, Steve asked. 

“No. It may be too rough for an everyday thing but…for special occasions…”, you giggle. “Did I cross a line?”

“No, honey. What would make you think you might of?”

When you and Eddie exchange a look, his grin grows as he bends forward to kiss your lips. 

“You didn’t bother me, princess. It’s not like you normally go around spitting in my face. It was kind of hot if I’m being honest.”

“I just hope you know I wouldn’t normally disrespect you like that.”

“We know.” 

After comforting touches and delicate kisses, they help you out of the water and get you in comfortable pajamas before leading you to the bed. Climbing in beside you, Eddie wraps his arms around your waist as you lay your head on Steve’s chest. 

“Y/N, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, Daddy.”

“What we did tonight…that’s not how you viewed us that first night 5 years ago, is it?”

“No, baby. Not even close. You were rough with me but you didn’t scare me like that. I’ve always felt safe with you…even when I thought you two were assholes. Can I ask you both something?”

“Always, sweetheart.”, Eddie soothed as he tenderly kissed your shoulder. 

“What made you two decide to make a move that night? How did you know I’d respond to you the way I did?”

“Short answer? Hope.”

Steve smiled when you giggled at his response. 

“There were so many times you could have said something to rat us out but you never did. When I first spoke to you in detention or when Stevie threatened to spank you, you didn’t tell Mr. C at all. We…we’ve never told you this but we watched you when he asked you to stay behind to put everything away.”, the metalhead elaborated. 

“You had this extremely adorable, concentrated look on your face until you came back to get your things. As you walked off the stage, you were smirking. We selfishly thought maybe it was because of us so we took a short cut to a classroom and the rest is history.”

Keening into his chest, you placed a soft kiss on his skin before lifting Eddie’s hand that was intertwined with yours to your lips so you could do the same. Steve rolled onto his side, gently moving your hair and petting your head as he watched you gradually fall asleep. 

“Hey, Munson?”

“Harrington?”

“Do you have any plans this weekend?”

“Not that I know of besides work. Why?”

“I was thinking, maybe, you and I can go look at houses. See how much they cost so we can start saving and surprise Baby Girl here. She deserves a house.”

Eddie grinned as he reached over and patted his friend’s shoulder. 

“Sounds like a plan, man.”

############

@manda-panda-monium @sherrylyn628 @eddiesguitarskills

@needylilgal022 @local-stoner-bitch @katethetank @strangerfreak

@sidthedollface2 @justanotheryn @pedropascalslilbaby

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@chelebelletx @perdopascalslilbaby @shayeddie @anaibis

@wroteclassicaly @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

@siriuslysmoking @raptorbait529 @miarosso @micheledawn1975

@paleidiot @mrsjellymunson @dashingdeb16

[svcredveins]

A 5 minute snippet of me doing hot laps on the Nordschleife. From Fuchsröhre to Hohenrain, this track is the most intense there is due to its insane length of 25.3 km of endless twists and turns with a few straights; a demanding track that is over 8 minutes long with little room for error - the Green Hell. Listen to my little heart beat fast then slow down on the straights. 🫀

This is the one where I’ve been waiting to post for so long, though, not the full thing due to Tumblr having a video limit up to 500 MB unfortunately, but I will try to figure out whether I post this privately on my YouTube channel or not at all. I already have a YouTube channel with over 400 subscribers and it’s all of my race recaps from the league that I’m in so I’ll try to maybe make a new account? I don’t know where else to post the full thing haha because I definitely don’t wanna accidentally have someone see this video and then yeah lol

But this is exciting, she was really pounding at Hedwigshöhe! She does really get going though when in a race, especially if it’s in my league in the team series because that’s the big one. Well, it’s for fun, but still, it’s their more serious series haha

I didn’t add any extra text because I didn’t want it to add onto the size of the video so I just left the intro text in there and that was it unfortunately. Hopefully one day Tumblr allows videos up to 900 MB lol

[ablupen]

I Completed Lessons 1-10. Here's what happened, and the ending I got.

Alright! After about 15 hr 23 min total of F2P playing, I've completed all 10 lessons with all main stories/episodes watched. Granted, anything past lesson 4 isn't full S completed anymore, and I am very broke, but eh.

Anyways, here's some pictures of how it's going:

And now some more thoughts and summaries, including stuff I didn't say in my last post.

The boss levels are basically beating up the boys... Well, uh, if you're mad at one of the seven, go play their boss level, ig?

Solomon's cooking is so bad it caused Henry 1.0 to rapidly polymorph temporarily into random things

Henry 1.0 was originally huge. Levi befriended the snake when both of them were hiding from Satan

Henry 1.0 became regular snake sized bc Sol shrank him 😐 This means the shrink spell wore off, apparently.

The building that you and Sol share is called Cocytus Hall. I wonder where this building would be present day..? Did it get recycled?

Newly-demon brothers are being discriminated

Cerberus was obtained bc of a rumor that anyone who tames it becomes Ruler of the Underworld.

Mammon rallies everyone behind Luci's back to find and tame Cerberus

On the way there, we discover that we can still summon the brothers (We summon Beel to eat a magically growing pile of apples)

Apprehension attempt on Cerberus did not succeed. Luci saves everyone and tames Cerberus. Someone leaks these news and this is how the seven brothers become the seven rulers.

We become one of the three core founding members of RAD lmao

Somehow we get caught in a dream(?) with Levi in the TSL world. Levi does not know TSL at this point in time. Anyways, he summons Lotan at the end of it, who apparently actually appeared in real life, flooded the room, and then left.

Fuck i forgot when this happened so I'll just leave it here, but: Satan turned everyone except you and Lucifer into Chihuahuas. Including himself. Thankfully, the spell had a limit so it didn't last long

Angels enter the scene! For RAD consultation.

Apparently at some point the bottom of Asmo's bathtub becomes a portal.

Solomon is a fucking bastard and pushes everyone into the bathtub. You choose if you go in by your own will or if he also pushes you.

It leads to the Celestial Realm??? No lol jk, it's actually inside a very familiar looking labyrinth and y'all are being chased by a giant spider, fuck.

Solomon remakes pact with Asmo to distract spider.

Solomon then summons Barbatos

Unfortunately at some point he pissed Barbs off so he's ticked off by this summon. Barbs teleports the spider away and Sol uses his pact to force him to make a portal back home, but Barbs gets mad and later TELEPORTS HIM TO A DRAGON'S DEN LMAO

dw he's alright! He returns next lesson with a dragon egg.

Bad news! Diavolo and Barbatos realize you're human and not a demon after... What/when is this? 6-7 lessons? Yeah. Anyways, Dia tells you that you should pack up bc he's sending you back to the human world. You're another distraction, so to eliminate some stress, you're being deported, sorry. This is not a good thing.

Mammon and crew - except Luci obviously take on a ghost hunting job at the tome place idk I forgot the spelling

Mammon gets fucking possessed by a human ghost named Adam after you read his name off of a tomestone bc it was written in a human language.

Adam says that a demon killed him with consent many years ago bc Adam was trying to look for his lover but their dead

In case it wasn't obvious, that you.

Also, the demon knew you'd have the Ring of Light on you still. Anyways, Adam tells you that the demon's name/alias was Nightbringer. Guys, it's a fucking name drop!!!

You manage to open the gates for Adam by slurping up some of the brothers' powers and by the powers of the ring

Next day, you get a letter telling you to meet Dia concerning your expulsion, which Sol comes with you to try and change Dia's mind.

Suddenly, Belphegor basically kicks open the doors to demand that Beel be released. Apparently, he's been jailed. Shit, isn't that a parallel or what, huh?

Apparently, he suddenly got out of control and rampaged. Dia manages to pin him down and get him into a cell with sheer strength alone, but later escapes in the next lesson after you confront Luci and Belphegor who had a spat.

You, Luci, and Belphie get blamed for causing all of this 🥴 Especially by Barbs. Anyways, using your magic siphoning ability from your future pacts and the Ring of Light, you knock Beel out. Lesson 10 ends with you revealing that you're human and Dia and everyone wondering who tf you are to have this kind of power.

That was a lie. The very last scene was actually Satan and Simeon watching a cat that you introduced to Satan before you left with Luci and Belphie and discover the rampaging Beel. "Do you think MC will come back before the cat wakes up?" "I hope so."

Context for the quotes on the Nightbringer site:

Lucifer; "My pride hurt my brothers": I actually don't remember this one. I don't even know if my choices led up to this one. Will maybe revisit everything tomorrow or sum

Mammon; "We chose to follow Lucifer here. We all had reasons for doin' what we did.": This is from when Mammon is trying to convince the other brothers to join him in his search for Cerberus. He's tired of being discriminated, and doesn't regret his choice.

Leviathan; "I never wanted to come to this awful place, to begin with!": When Diavolo meets with the brothers concerning plans for RAD and about possibly making an announcement to show the brothers'presence, Levi is against this. He doesn't want the attention.

Satan; "I can barely stand being around them. It's torture.": Obviously, "them" are his "brothers". I can assume when he says this, but I think I can guess when it is. It was probably after he stormed off once the others discuss what the Celestial Realm was like. He's never seen that place, and he can't relate to the other brothers.

Asmodeus; "I want to return to the Celestial Realm...! I want to be an angel again! The way I used to be... White wings and all!": This is during the weird portal in the bathtub scene. He had tried to move on from the fall, but Simeon's appearance reminds him of what he lost again. He's scared of the fact that he's getting used to his demon self and that he's forgetting what it was like to be an angel.

Beelzebub; "I have a big secret that I've never been able to tell... Not even to Belphie.": I've actually never encountered this one bc I didn't get close to Beel. Has anyone seen this one?

Belphegor; "Who deserves to be punished the most?": After Lucifer temporarily admits defeat and doesn't stand up to Diavolo to let Beel go, Belphegor gets angry. He's scared that he'll lose another sibling. After telling you about Lilith and how stubborn she was, he admits that he doesn't know who to blame: Lilith for breaking the rules, the angels for directly killing her (or was this second one the other brothers for not doing more? I forgot damn), or himself for not protecting Lilith.

Anyways, that's all I can think of rn. Do note though that in Nightbringer, choices apparently actually matter so you may have gotten different results!

[dutchvanwinkle]

Mr Van der Linde Pt. 7 - Dutch x Reader

TW for blood and self-injury with a blade – it's not self-harm or anything but I thought I'd drop the warning just in case. (It’ll make more sense when you read it – its still a bit insane but the idea was funny in my head lol) Anyway, eurovision is over and I'm sad so here's another chapter!

Here's the ao3 link!

Summary: The long-awaited wedding of Arthur and Charles finally takes place, with you and all your friends on the invite list.

Word count: 10,477

Content warnings: smut, self-injury

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8 | PART 9 | PART 10

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

After spending such an intimate weekend with Dutch, for the first time, you found yourself regularly missing him.  

It was a mutual feeling, and the two of you made the effort to escape away and see each other, a couple of times over Easter and a few over summer. He’d been understanding of your exam stress, and while second year had been tough for everyone, your group of friends had one thing to look forward to once it was over.  

Arthur and Charles’ wedding was to be a big affair according to John (and Dutch). In your limited experience with Arthur, you hadn't pinned him to be the lavish type but he was apparently a fan of the prospect of a big family get-together; luckily for you that included close family friends.  

John managed to get you all an invite, and you were unfortunate enough to draw the short straw and drive down with him. You had Sean, too, as he and Karen insisted on travelling separately due to their recent breakup. Thank the lord for headphones.  

How Abigail had managed to fall asleep you didn’t know, but she was using you as a pillow, her head slowly drooping onto your shoulder until she drifted off. It was a good excuse for you to tell Sean to shut it, and in fairness, he did attempt to limit his voice to the front of the car that carried him and John.  

The venue was a couple of hours away from the Van der Linde residence, and Mr Van der Linde had been kind enough to provide everyone with hotel rooms so they could enjoy the celebration in full. You could only imagine how eye-watering that bill was.   

John drove up the long path, Sean finally falling silent as he gaped at the size of the place. It was a big stately home, converted for use as a wedding venue and hotel. You marvelled as you passed the big fountain out front and through to the car park which was beginning to fill up nicely.  

You couldn’t escape the vehicle quick enough once John had pulled into a space and you’d gently woken Abigail. John popped the boot open, and you removed everyone’s bags to place on the floor.  

“God, what a place,” Abigail stretched after exiting the car, taking in the gorgeous surroundings.  

Upon closing the boot, the slight of Mr Van der Linde strutting towards the four of you with his arms outstretched graced your eyes. He was beaming, and you suspected he was thoroughly in his element surrounded by so much planning, organising, and people.   

He was wearing a dressed-down suit, the top few buttons of his shirt undone, and you busied yourself with pulling up the handle of your suitcase as you simultaneously pulled yourself together.   

“Hello son,” he grabbed John for an embrace and ruffled his hair, which John did not appreciate, and spent all of 3 seconds trying to smooth it down again before giving up. “Hello all, good journey down?”  

The three of you nodded, Abigail instantly jumping in to answer. “Yes! Good, thank you.”  

Dutch offered her a kind smile, and she and Sean began following John to the house, you just behind them.  

“How lovely it is to see you again, my dear,” Dutch gently clapped his hand on your upper back, and it was impossible not to think about the expanse of that large palm as it remained on you while he led you towards the door.  

“You too, sir,” you smiled, and you really meant it. He enjoyed your endearment about as much as you enjoyed his.  

Thankfully, Dutch’s behaviour was not out of the ordinary for him, and John didn’t bat an eyelid. “Where are our rooms?” he asked, and Dutch gestured to the front desk, giving your names to the receptionist and handing out the appropriate room keys.  

“You’ve got two rooms, a triple and a double - I hope that’s okay?”  

“I’ll sleep anywhere, Dutch,” Sean laughed, and Abigail affirmed it was absolutely fine, thank you.   

You were glad to be sharing with Abigail and Karen, the three of you were always being interrupted by the boys and rarely had time alone together, so you were looking forward to a few days of quality time with them. 

“Shall we go drop out bags and freshen up?” you turned to Abigail who nodded and the two of you turned in the direction of the stairs.  

“We’ll do the same,” John sidled along beside you, Sean joining him.  

Briefly, you glanced back over your shoulder, for Dutch to shoot you a wink. You smirked disapprovingly and began the descent up the stairs.  

-  

Everything fine with the room?  

Yes, it’s lovely, thank you.  

You’re sure?  

Of course – why wouldn’t it be?  

If there was something wrong with it you’d be more than welcome to stay in mine.  

How hospitable of you.  

After plugging your phone in and setting it on the nightstand, you put your feet up on the bed and rested back, watching Abigail as she decided what to wear.   “You look fine in that,” you commented, and she scrunched her nose at you.  

“I’m too dressed down. This is a fancy place.”  

You huffed a laugh, her jeans and jumper were more than appropriate for the setting. “You reckon Johnny will finally ask you out and make this whole thing official?”  

“Ha. You’re funny.”  

“What?” you sat up, “all this romance might just give him the kick up the arse he needs.”  

“Maybe, I’m not getting my hopes up though. Why I had to get feelings for such a moron I have no idea,” she scoffed.  

With a laugh of agreement, you lay back once again and Abigail perched herself on the end of your bed, her expression still one of concern.   

“Mr Van der Linde seems to like you.”  

Thankfully, Abigail was looking between the tops in her hand as she gave you her remark and didn’t witness the panic pass over your face as all your blood drained from it. You earnestly hoped you hadn’t both gotten sloppy. “What?”  

She tilted her head towards you, in a casual manner that had you second-guessing her definition of like. “He’s just always nice to you,” she shrugged, an embarrassed smile creeping onto her face. “Any tips?”  

That calmed you somewhat, though you could still feel your pounding heartbeat as the shock began to subside. You didn’t suppose your uncouth methods of getting Dutch to like you were quite what Abigail had in mind. “I...” you pressed your lips together as you thought, “I’ve known him longer, I guess? I’ve never really noticed it.”  

Abigail tusked, letting out a belaboured sigh. “I bet he’d rather John was dating you.”  

You almost laughed aloud, but thankfully cleared your throat and avoided that display of insanity. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be inappropriate to mention that to Dutch later. “Trust me, that is not the case.”  

“You don’t know that,” she decided on a blouse, throwing the other top into her suitcase before she began changing.  

“Dutch likes you, there’s no reason why he wouldn’t.”  

“See,” she smarmed.  

“See what?”  

Abigail sat on her bed this time, facing you. “You’re even on a first-name basis with him.”  

“I get the feeling you’d know if he didn’t like you,” you nudged the subject back towards her, subtly deflecting her comment.  

“I suppose.”  

There was only a beat of silence before the door opened, Karen making an entrance and already dressed in her skirt and bodice of choice. “Well hello gorgeous girls!” she exclaimed.  

“Look at you!” Abigail hollered as she entered, and Karen did a showy twirl.   

“Oh, for fucks sake,” you stood from your bed, eyes scanning between your two lovely-looking friends, “now I have to change too.”  

“Well it’s a party,” Karen said proudly as she dropped her bag onto the last unclaimed bed.   

“Not until tomorrow,” you laughed, and found a nice middle ground of an outfit choice that wasn’t too dressy; you’d already packed your actual dress for the ceremony tomorrow.  

“How was the drive?” Abigail asked.  

Karen pulled off her boots and flopped onto her bed. “Alright! Javi’s car smells better than John’s, at least. I can only imagine how much worse his was given Sean was in there.”  

Abigail and you exchanged a knowing look.  

“What?” Karen grunted, catching the interaction.  

“You’ll have your tongue in his mouth by this time tomorrow,” you sighed, and Abigail chuckled in agreement.  

“I will not! It’s over this time. I mean it.”  

“Alright,” you held your hands up in surrender, “sure. We believe you.” You didn’t believe her one bit and suspected Abigail didn’t either.  

The three of you only had a brief opportunity to chat, and your dreams of girl time were squashed as you opened the door to the knock of your three idiot friends who proceeded to wander in with beers in hand. Maybe next year, now that you’d all finally agreed on a house to rent, you’d have more time for just that.  

“This place is something else,” Javier said as he entered. “Much too fancy for my blood.”  

“Same here,” you agreed, pushing Sean’s shoulder to move him up after he’d instantly claimed your bed as his seat; conveniently the furthest option from Karen. Thankfully, the three of you were all used to the permanent awkward tension that surrounded them by now. “What’s the plan for the rest of the afternoon?”  

“We’ve got dinner later, I think,” John scratched at his head, and it didn’t escape you that he’d sat closer to Abigail than in usual group settings. Perhaps the romantic atmosphere was having an effect on him after all.  

“Like a rehearsal dinner?” she asked.  

“Don’t think so. Just so we can all get together and catch up before tomorrow.”  

“Then we can drink after?” Javier questioned hopefully.  

“You can,” John scoffed. “I can’t be hungover at my brother’s wedding. Arthur’ll kill me.”  

“Where is Arthur, anyway?” you peered over to check your phone, noticing an unread message from Dutch and deciding to ignore it for now.  

John yawned, tired from the drive down. “Fuck if I know. Probably panicking about something or other.”  

Javier stood to check himself out in the mirror. “You got any cute cousins, John?”  

“I think if I had an answer for that question I’d be a bit of a creep.”  

“True. Besides,” Javier turned to point at you accusingly, “you’re the one that needs a wingman.”  

“I do not,” you huffed in offence.  

“For the love of god, yes please!” Karen agreed, and you scowled at her.  

John nodded with a laugh. “Is there really still nobody on the scene?”  

Yes actually, John, I’ve been fucking your dad for the best part of a few months and I can’t stop thinking about him.  

“Nah, nobody.”  

“We have got to get you laid this weekend,” Abigail demanded.  

“I am fine. Besides, don’t we need to be downstairs soon?”   

“Oh, yeah,” John checked his watch, and you were glad your diversion worked. “It starts in half an hour; I reckon I’ll go down early and check out that bar. No harm in having one, I guess. Maybe two.”  

While everyone agreed and stood to join him, you checked the message waiting on your phone.  

I’m in room 6, if you want to stop by before the dinner.  

Abigail looked back when you didn’t join the clan. “You coming?”  

“I need to do something with my hair,” which wasn’t a lie, “I’ll meet you down there when I’m done.”  

“Alright, see you soon,” she followed behind the others, and you decompressed with a sigh. The weekend may end up being more complicated than you’d anticipated.  

After a gentle knock on the door of room six, you paused to listen for any noise inside, wondering if Dutch had already left. But there was movement, followed soon after by the man himself opening the door, a pleased smile appearing on his face. “You took your time.”  

“I know,” you swiftly stepped inside, not wanting to risk being caught. “Everyone decided to hang out in our room.”  

Dutch shut the door and turned to you, placing a hand on your hip and a chaste kiss on your lips. “Better late than never. Though, I don’t have long before I’ve got to be down there.”  

“I know,” you shrugged, your expression turning to teasing. “Better something than nothing.”  

“Very true.” He moved past you and reclined on his bed, and you followed suit, sitting cross-legged beside him.  

“Are you excited?”  

You already knew he was; he’d called you earlier in the week and didn’t come up for air before he’d told you about every detail of the wedding. Though he nodded, he seemed more reserved than you’d expected.  

“Nervous?”  

“No, not nervous,” he looked down at his hands and back to you. “It’s just got me thinking, is all. Few things I wish were different that can’t be helped.”  

Wishing Annabelle could see it went unsaid, and you rested your palm on his thigh comfortingly. Regardless of the passage of time, it was bound to be emotional for the family. “I can’t believe it’s come around so quickly,” you said, hoping to alleviate the mood some.   

“Neither can I. Are you friends looking forward to it?”  

“They are,” you said warmly, neglecting to tell him that the open bar was the main reason for their excitement. “That reminds me, we may need to be a bit more careful of how friendly we are to each other.”  

“Why?” Dutch frowned, as though the thought itself was an insult.  

“Abigail commented on it. She wants you to like her and mentioned that you seem to like me a fair amount,” you leaned forward with a wry grin. “So much so that she reckons you’d rather I was dating John.”  

Dutch tsked in disbelief. “I couldn’t think of anything I’d want less. Besides, I like Abigail.”  

“That’s what I said.”  

As Dutch sighed, his face became more thoughtful, and a few beats of silence passed over you.  

“I like the thought of it.”  

“The thought of what?”  

He observed you for a moment, placing his hand over yours that was still on his thigh. “Us,” he shrugged genuinely.  

“Dutch,” you pulled your hand away to rub disparagingly at your forehead, and his own wrapped around your wrist before he intertwined his fingers with yours.  

“Would it be so bad?”  

Your expression dropped, and you looked at him with intense incredulity. “Have you taken your meds?”  

Dutch laughed, before bringing your hands up to kiss your knuckles. “Of course I have.”  

“Perhaps you need to up your dose.”  

He tugged your hands to his chest, coaxing you into an embrace and then wrapped his arms around your shoulders. “I’m serious.”  

You frowned up at him, finding his face void of any teasing. “You’re telling me you want to go out there right now, hand in hand, and you think it’ll go down well?”  

“No, not now... it’s just got me thinking is all. About where this will all lead to.”  

“Well,” you said placatingly, “how about you focus on your son, and son-in-law-to-be, instead? It'd be a shame for you to spend so much on a fancy wedding and depart it with less family than when you entered.”  

“Alright,” he snorted. “Fine. We should get going, on that note.”  

“Agree,” you kissed him and stood, turning back once you were at the door. “We should probably go down separately.”  

“Don’t be ridiculous. We ran into each other on the way, nothing wrong with that – right?”  

“If you say so,” you sighed, and Dutch opened the door and nodded his head for you to come out when the coast was clear. You remembered your previous excuse and began tying your hair up.  

“What are you doing that for?”  

“I told Abigail I was doing my hair,” you grumbled, and Dutch laughed in understanding, and you hoped she wouldn’t question why it took you so long to do something so simple.  

Dutch was right, nobody cared when you walked in together; you were certain nobody had even noticed. He took his seat on the family table and you on the one with your friends, and after he’d convinced Arthur to give a small speech to thank everyone for coming, you ate quite possibly the tastiest meal you’d had in your life.  

-

The three of you could hardly contain your excitement come morning. You’d made everyone’s morning tea or coffee and Karen sorted out the music, while Abigail went to check on the boys and make sure they hadn’t slept through their alarms. She returned with pastries, enough to satisfy you all until the buffet after the ceremony.  

As if Dutch hadn’t had enough to pay for, he’d also insisted you let him buy your dress for the event. You assured him it was fine, you had some you could wear but he was too stubborn to allow it. Even you couldn’t deny that the dress was nice, the material expensive and hugging you at the waist, then flowing out over your legs.   

Once the three of you were ready, you picked up Sean and Javier on the way to the main hall.  

The ceremony was so beautiful you had to stop yourself from crying multiple times. Despite the lavish venue, it was a mostly simple affair – a compromise you imagine Arthur had insisted on.   

But Dutch? That man had never looked so good. His suit was perfectly tailored, he had not a hair out of place, and you just knew he smelt good. If you closed your eyes, you were sure you could smell him and remained pointedly wide-eyed for the duration of the ceremony. You’d need to proactively avoid getting too drunk, as the prospective reality he mentioned the previous day may just come true without you meaning it to.  

After the ceremony came the reception, speeches given by both Arthur and Charles, their made-of-honour Sadie, Charles’ mother, and of course, Dutch. He’d been planning the thing for months, and to be fair he did a very good job. It made you all warm and fuzzy seeing him so gleeful as he addressed the congregation, though you caught more than a few eye-rolls from John and Arthur both.

The couple were overjoyed, the perfect picture of love you and didn’t miss John kissing Abigail’s cheek and tucking a hair behind her ear when he came over once the scheduled program had ended and the buffet had begun. You raised your brows at Karen, who raised her glass in turn with an excited grin.   

Music came on soon after, and you got the chance to congratulate Arthur and Charles, everyone a few drinks down and pretty merry. Dutch had heard you nearby, clearing his throat upon his approach.  

“That was lovely,” you said genuinely as you faced him, and he beamed with pride.  

“It was, wasn’t it?”  

“Congrats on the new extended family -” you began to say and noticed Abigail had entered your conversation.  

“Thank you,” Dutch said to you, then turned his attention to Abigail. “You look lovely, Miss Roberts.”  

“Oh,” she blushed, and you could tell it was a shift in the right direction to convincing her that Dutch did like her. Not as much as he liked you, but that certainly wasn't what Abigail wanted.  “Thank you.”  

Over Dutch’s shoulder, you noticed Karen and Sean lock eyes and knew the rest of their night was history. “There they go again,” you hummed to Abigail in amusement. “What did I say?”  

“What?” Dutch asked, following your gaze to the pair.  

“They broke up. It was a matter of time before they fell into each other's arms again,” you teased, and saw Abigail give you an odd look out of the corner of her eye.  

“Ah,” Dutch chuckled. “I see the open bar has rekindled a romance.”  

“I don’t reckon theirs’ll be the first,” you joked, Dutch humming an amused laugh of agreement.   

“Oh,” something caught Dutch’s attention, “if you’ll excuse me, ladies.”  

After he’d parted, Abigail turned to you with a face full of hardened trepidation. "How much have you had to drink?!”  

“Not that much, why?”  

“You shouldn’t talk about that kind of stuff in front of Mr Van der Linde,” she said in a hushed whisper, gesturing to where he’d previously stood, just in case you’d forgotten.  

“Why not?” you laughed, “he doesn’t care.”  

“Well, because, what if he ends up viewing me and John like that? Just a silly, immature relationship?”  

“He won’t,” you softened, noticing the concern building in her eyes. “But okay, I won’t say anything like that to him again.”  

“Good,” she folded her arms over her chest.   

“Speaking of,” you nudged her forearm, “John has been awfully attentive to you today.”  

Abigail scoffed, unable to stop her smile from tugging at the corner of her mouth. “He has, hasn’t he?” she said sheepishly, as though you’d confirmed something she wasn’t sure was entirely true.  

“Why don’t you go speak to him?” you suggested, nodding to him as he stood by the buffet table, picking at what remained.   

After a short moment debating it as her eyes raked over him, Abigail turned to you and nodded. “Okay. I might do just that.”  

You laughed at her excitement as she went, not long after hearing a throat clear behind you. “Welcome back,” you teased hospitably.  

“Why thank you.”  

“Good job with Abigail,” you said, “she seems more relaxed now.”  

Dutch observed her speaking to John, the two of them laughing about something or other. “I’m glad.”  

You opened your mouth to speak, and noticed a man behind Dutch, beelining for the pair of you. Dutch noticed your gaze pass over his shoulder and turned, extending a hand to the man.  

“Oh - this here is Hosea Matthews.”   

“Nice to meet you Mr Matthews,” you greeted the new addition, dressed in a muted navy blue suit. His existence hadn’t formerly been a mystery, you knew enough about him from Dutch though you expected that fact to remain a secret.  

“Please, call me Hosea,” he batted the air in front of him, and you nodded graciously. “I recall your face from the engagement party, too, you’re one of John’s friends?”  

“I am, he’s lived across the hall from me for the past two years.”  

“That so? Oh, I could tell you some stories about John," he smiled with amusement, "though I imagine you could probably tell me more.”  

“I don’t think he’d be too happy with either of those scenarios,” you chuckled.  

“No, no, I think you’re right about that.”  

The small talk continued between the three of you, and it was no lie that he and Dutch were very close friends. Dutch seemed calmer around him somehow, his hands leisurely tucked into his pockets in what you expected was a rest from putting up his façade to all the other guests. It was nice to know you made him feel that way too, at least on some level.  

After your friends and stolen you away elsewhere, Hosea shook his head at Dutch, whose eyes lingered on you a moment too long as you walked away.  

“What?”  

“I can’t believe it. You're going to get murdered by your own son.”  

Dutch faltered and attempted to disguise it with a laugh. “Whatever do you mean?”  

Hosea paused, allowing the silence to do some of the talking. “I’m not stupid, Dutch,” he said eventually.  

Dutch tightened his lip.  

“You think I don’t know your type by now? You haven’t looked at anyone like that in a very long time,” he said in a whisper.  

“Hosea,” Dutch began, but came up empty on account of having no excuse or ability to pull the wool over his oldest friend’s eyes. “It isn’t how it seems.”  

“How does it seem, do you think?”  

Dutch huffed, his body becoming rigid. “Don’t be like this. Not now.”  

Hosea complied, but only due to the manner of the event. “She’s a pretty thing, I’ll give you that. But you,” he pointed a finger at Dutch’s chest, “mind yourself.”  

Dutch tutted, brushing Hosea off now that the intensity of the accusation had lessened and he was in the clear, at least for now. “Oh, don’t be so constipated.”  

-

Perhaps you’d have been more concerned about the intoxication level of your friends if it didn’t seem like every other guest was on the same level. Thankfully, you’d managed to remain tame, at least in comparison.  

The part of you that yearned for Dutch had been awoken by the drink, though to a level you could contain. That was until you saw him leant up at the bar, squinting over to look at the spirits behind the counter. His suit jacket had been abandoned, and you had a clear view of his ass and waist; two of your favourite things about him.  

Casually, you joined him, after you’d made sure your friends were good and distracted. “Having a good time, Mr Van der Linde?”  

His lip twitched at your formal address, but he remained otherwise nonchalant. “Indeed,” he said as the bartender handed over his drink. “Can I get you something?” he asked as an afterthought, the bartender already serving someone else.  

Why was alcohol so good at making you brave? You sighed slowly, pondering his question before lifting your eyes to his, watching how he noticed the new seductive glaze over your expression. “Actually, I am rather thirsty, now that you mention it.”  

Dutch swallowed, bringing his glass up to his lips. “That so.”  

“Mhm. There’s a bathroom, just down the hall. It’s a little out of the way,” you glanced over the scattered crowd of guests. “I might sit in there for a while.”  

“I see,” Dutch said, dipping his chain. “I think you should.”  

“So supportive,” you hummed and backed away, trotting off to the bathroom.  

It’d only been a minute since you’d closed the door to the bathroom, one that was way fancier than anything you’d ever been in. There was a big mirror over the sink and a small sofa opposite it. You weren’t sure if it was a private one, since there was only one toilet, and it was through another door. That was when you heard a knock and the familiar sound of Dutch clearing his throat behind the door. You unlocked it, and he slipped inside.  

“Nobody saw you, right?”  

“No,” Dutch leaned up on the sink, extending a hand out to you and pulling you to stand between his feet. “You’re getting into all this sneaking around.”  

“I suppose it is a little fun,” you ran your hands up his chest, his dress shirt soft underneath your fingertips. “You look good in your suit.”  

“And you look good in your dress.”  

You kissed him as thanks, the familiar taste of brandy on his lips clouding your mind. Experimentally, you dipped your tongue into his mouth and Dutch hummed, gripping at your waist and reciprocating your actions.   

A passionate kiss led to your torso flush against his, being reminded of the wonderful hardness between his legs, and a simple yet effective way to thank him for the dress came to mind.  

After pulling off you offered him a wry smile, kissing the corner of his mouth tenderly, changing the tempo of your interaction. You kissed down his thick neck, hit with the scent of his aftershave and hint of musk that was distinctly him. Your earlier suspicions regarding the man's aroma were bang on.

“Oh, that’s nice,” he sighed into the air, and you grazed your teeth over his skin.   

Then you lowered onto your knees.  

“What are you doing?” Dutch tilted his head down at you, your expression mischievous.  

“I told you,” you pulled his belt out of its buckle and unfastened it, “I’m thirsty.”  

A strained noise came from Dutch, and you couldn’t help a giggle slip from you. His thighs tensed as you ran your hands down and up them, before continuing to remove him from his constraints.   

The sick of his cock through his underwear sent a shiver down your spine, a wet patch where he’d leaked some precum visible by the head. He gripped the sink behind him, watching you with apprehension and excitement. Coyly, you leaned in and pressed your lips over it, leaving a gentle kiss on the fabric.   

After running your fingers up the back of his thighs, you pinched either side of his underwear and peeled them down, delighted to be so close to his thick, hard cock.   

Dutch chuckled proudly above you. “You whisk me off from my own son’s wedding,” he placed his palm under your chin, “because you’re that desperate to have me in your mouth?”  

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”  

“Oh, but it is,” he pressed the pad of his thumb onto your bottom lip, “it’s a very bad thing.”  

In response, you opened your mouth and sucked his thumb in, watching his eyes turn dark as he watched from above. You released it with a quiet pop. “I’m okay with that.”  

With a smile that told you that was the right answer, Dutch released his hold on your chin. “Then please, miss, do proceed.”  

Eyes locked firmly on his, you brought your tongue out and pressed it flat against the underside of the head, licking up some so you could fit your mouth around it and suck gently before releasing. Dutch released an audible breath, almost a hiss. His jaw was so hard you half-expected him to crack a tooth.   

You repeated the motion, enjoying the salty taste of him on your tongue. He’d even gone the extra mile of perfectly trimming his dark public hair, and you appreciated the effort.  

“Sweetheart,” Dutch said, his voice on the verge of cracking, “you’re killing me.”  

“Something the matter?” you asked, purposefully widening your eyes.   

“Oh,” he hummed, “I’ve been too soft on you, haven’t I? It seems you’ve forgotten who you’re dealing with.”  

It was true. Dutch was a rich, successful, powerful man, but that wasn’t what came to mind when you thought of him. Instead, he was caring, loving, passionate and a consistent perfectionist. The side of him you got to see was rarely put on display, and while you revelled in not having to pretend around him, that fact went both ways. He’d let himself slip so much that you often forgot who he was at the surface, and perhaps who he was deeper down.  

You flattened your tongue against the base of him, licking up his shaft and once again closing your mouth around his spongey, straining head. “You may have to remind me.”  

“Alright,” Dutch’s chest decompressed with the tension of your teasing, “either you work your way along my cock until it’s down your throat, or I fuck your mouth until you don’t have a choice.” As an afterthought, he added onto his statement, “I’m being a gentleman by giving you the option.”  

“Aren’t I a lucky girl.”  

“You are, as a matter of fact.”  

A forming response lacking in your brain, you ran the tip of your tongue along the slit and Dutch let out a breathy laugh.  

“Oh, my girl,” he rumbled, his palm resting on the back of your head. “You truly are perfect.”  

The tantalising static running through your body hummed at your fingertips and toes, and Dutch allowed a moment to pass over before adding pressure to your head, bringing you forward, and you opened your mouth willingly.  

Dutch eased his cock past your lips, pushing in slowly until he was hot and heavy on your tongue. You muffled a moan around him, feeling deliciously filthy in this state. His fingertips in your hair, Dutch eased you off him, and you licked your lips, already wanting to taste him again.  

“If you’re on your knees for me, then you ought to remember what that means,” he warned, his expression verging on dangerous. “You are of service to me like this, sweetheart. I have had a rather stressful few weeks, and if you offer me such a relief as this then rest assured, I am going to take it.”   You took a breath to respond, and Dutch dragged his cock over your lips. “Ah ah. There’s only one thing that mouth should be doing right now.”  

With that, he pressed on the back of your head, simultaneously thrusting his hips forward until he was a couple of inches in, then pushed you right down to the base. You gagged, spluttering some and feeling the urge to pull off but Dutch held you there, drunk on the power of having you like this. “You can do it. Be my good girl, now.”  

You actively relaxed your throat, attempting to swallow and regulate your breathing through your nose, and gradually you relaxed, Dutch sighing in approval.  

“That’s it,” he cooed, using his free hand to run a knuckle over your temple, “you’re doing so well.”  

His hand in your hair, holding you in place while you were powerless on your knees, his proud gaze radiating down on you, and the gentle affection made your insides turn to mush, combined and you were thoroughly overjoyed to have him so pleased and infatuated with you. You placed your hands on his thighs, steadying yourself, and felt them tense underneath his suit pants.  

“Now. I’m going to fuck that throat of yours.”  

At least he gave you some warning. His fingertips hardened on your scalp, vice-like in the way they kept you in position. His hips did the work, fucking his cock repeatedly past your lips, hitting the back of your throat on each thrust. He grunted with each one, and a dull ache making itself known in your jaw. It was beyond worth it to see his face screwed up in ecstasy above you.  

You soldiered on, Dutch evermore vocal, littering the air with praise about how warm and wet you were around him. His movements increased in intensity, and tears slipped from your watering eyes at the sensation, both from the repeated hits to the back of your throat and the tugging against your scalp.  

“You are fucking gorgeous like this, darlin’,” Dutch huffed, face reddening with beads of sweat journeying down his forehead, “I’ve got to use you like this more often.”  

You moaned at the thought. The two of you had always been so keen to get straight to fucking, you’d never made time for this sort of stuff. You cursed yourself internally - what a thing to be missing out on.  

The thick cock in your mouth began to twitch, and you watched as Dutch tipped his head back, finally taking his gaze off you. He groaned, his thrusts becoming sloppy. “I’m - I’m gonna – right down your throat -”  

Ropes of his cum shot down into your mouth, and you instantly swallowed to avoid spluttering, allowing you to be able to keep your mouth on him. His load was larger than you expected, but you continuously swallowed until his palm relaxed on your head and you were able to ease off him.  

His gaze down at you was full of affection and ecstatic after his orgasm. “Look at you,” he marvelled, “didn’t waste a drop.”  

With a laugh, you accepted Dutch’s offer of being helped up, and he held you by the waist while twisting around to get some tissue from by the sink. Tenderly, he dried the corners of your mouth of spit and your under eyes of tears. He even made a point of cleaning your smudged makeup. “I hope you brought some makeup in that bag of yours,” he said hesitantly.  

“I did,” you reached behind him for your bag, and pulled out your powder to begin applying after swapping positions so you could use the mirror. As you did, Dutch fasted his trousers and belt, then stood behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing kisses on your shoulder and then observing the two of you in the reflection.  

“We look good together.”  

“Shut up,” you chuckled, digging around for your lipstick when there was a knock at the door.  

Dutch tutted at the intrusion, but swiftly stilled at the sound of Arthur’s voice on the other side of the door.  

“Dutch? You in there?”  

You frowned at him, growing concerned at how the two of you were going to escape this one.  

“Shit,” he grumbled, checking his watch, “it’s been a while.”  

After glancing at his watch, you shot him a glare. “We’ve been in here for forty-five minutes -”  

“Well I was hardly tracking the time -”  

“Perhaps you should’ve -”  

“Of course, let me just set my handy blowjob alarm -”  

“This isn’t helping,” you hissed, irritated at him for being so snarky and unhelpful. You broke free from his embrace, as Arthur called his name out again.   

“Just a second,” Dutch called back, and you opened your arms in irritation. “What else am I meant to do,” he whispered sharply.  

“How the hell am I meant to get out?”  

Dutch took quiet steps to the door and put an ear up to it. He backed away, looking at you with uncertainty before whispering again. “Sounds like there’s a few people out there.”  

“Shit,” you glanced around, looking for any sort of inspiration. During a search of a drawer under the sink, you found a pair of scissors and Arthur calling for Dutch yet again sent panic through you. “I suppose you don’t have any ideas? We need to do something now.”  

“I - no,” he began, then frowned at the scissors in your hand. “What do you plan on doing with those?”  

At that moment, it didn’t seem like there was any other option. After all, the two of you needed a good excuse for being in the bathroom together, alone. Now or never.  

You turned your gaze away, held the scissors a few inches from your upper arm, and drove them into your skin.  

Dutch rushed towards you, holding your arm and taking the scissors from you. “Jesus! What did you do that for?”  

“We need an excuse –“  

“And you do that?!” he applied pressure on your deeper-than-intended wound, “you really are drunker than I thought.”  

You frowned at him, blinking a few times. “I feel... A little faint.”   

“Goddamnit,” he hissed, leading you to you the sofa, “and I thought I was the insane one. Stay here, and hold your hand over your arm.”  

Once he’d guided your other hand to hold your arm, Dutch rushed to the door and flung it open. “Sorry,” he began, stepping out of the way and gesturing to you, “there was an incident.”  

Arthur stepped in, Dutch returning to your side and clutched your arm.  

“What the hell happened?” asked Arthur.  

“Jesus,” John said, trailing behind with a horrified Abigail in tow.

“It was my fault,” you blurted, ignoring Dutch’s uncertain gaze, “I - I cut myself on a glass. Rushed down, ran into Dutch, and -” you gestured as well as you to yourself. “Here we are. I’m fine, looks worse than it is,” at that you looked down at the sight of all the blood, wincing.  

“Could one of you find the hotel medic?” Dutch said, irate, and you shrank a little in your seat. Maybe this wasn’t the brightest of ideas.   

“Sure,” Abigail responded, immediately jogging back out to hunt down a medic.  

“You are an idiot,” laughed John, and Dutch shot him an annoyed look.   

“Does this look like the time for jokes, Johnathon?”  

“She’ll be fine,” John shrugged an arm at you, bemused.  

“He’s right,” you said pointedly, hoping Dutch would quit being so outwardly concerned, “I really am fine.”  

Dutch muttered under his breath, still gripping your wound while Arthur attempted to clean away some of your blood.  

“Sorry Arthur,” you said to him, realising this is not how he should be spending his wedding night.  

“S’no bother,” he said easily, “glad you’re okay. We was just wondering where Dutch got to, Molly said she’d last seen him over this way.”  

It wasn’t noticeable to anyone but you the way Dutch stilled at the comment. You didn’t have time to think on it further when Abigail returned with a medic.  

“Hey there,” said the new face, and she knelt in front of you and opened her first aid box. “That’s a nasty cut. Are you okay to keep that pressure on for me?”  

Dutch nodded, adding more pressure for good measure and you grunted at the increasing sting. “Sorry,” he muttered.  

“It’s okay.”  

The medic used some antiseptic wipes to clean around the area, Dutch moving his hand so she could get a good look at the wound. “Well, good news is there doesn’t appear to be any broken glass in there, which is lucky. I can stitch you up, probably best if you come to the medical room – how do you feel? Can you walk?”  

Oddly enough, you weren't in all that much pain. Perhaps the alcohol, or the adrenaline, was responsible for that. “I feel a little nauseated. But I can walk.”  

“Alright,” the lady helped you up, Dutch on your other side and you moved past the others, Abigail and John then following behind. “Just one of you needs to come if that’s alright,” she said looking between the three of them.  

“I’ll go,” Dutch said immediately, “I’ve already got her.”  

“You sure?” asked John.  

“Yes. Don’t worry about it.”  

You offered a reassuring smile to the two of them, clearing your throat as an afterthought. “Thanks, Dutch.”  

“Don’t mention it.”  

Once you were seated in the medical room just off the reception, the medic got to work in fixing your wound with the help of another doctor.  

“We could take you to the nearest hospital, but we’re more than well-equipped to deal with it here. Plus, I wouldn’t recommend the journey when you’re bleeding like this,” she said, after injecting a local anaesthetic to numb the area in preparation for a few stitches.  

“That’s fine,” you said, “there’s no need for us to go to a hospital. It’s not that bad.”  

“How did you manage this?” asked the other medic.  

“Oh,” you cleared your throat, “I broke a glass in my room, then forgot I’d done it and lay back on my bed... the thing must’ve been sticking up. Then I came down for help and ran into Dutch,” you gestured at the man who was intently watching their work on your wound. “Suppose I panicked at the blood.”  

“That’s understandable,” she said comfortingly, “you bleed more after drinking so it’s no surprise.”  

Once they were finished, they gave you their emergency number and asked you to go and see them in the morning, provided you had no issues overnight. They asked you to at least lie down for a while if you insisted on returning to the party, which you did, and Dutch was more than happy to escort you to your room.  

“You are a rather good liar,” he said once the two of you had entered, and you’d ambled over to your bed.  

“Hm. Dating my best friend’s dad has given me a lot of practice.”  

“Oh, dating are we?” Dutch asked in a teasing voive that wasn’t as humourless as he’d intended.  

You lay back on the bed with a sigh. “You seem annoyed.”  

“Well,” he sat on your bed, adjusting the covers around you, “that was a rather stupid thing to do.”  

“I don’t see what choice I had,” you countered.  

“If it’s between stabbing yourself in the arm and not stabbing yourself, I’d go with not stabbing yourself.”  

“Well, I don’t want anyone to find out,” you yawned, feeling floaty all of a sudden. 

“Would it really be the worst thing?” he asked genuinely after a beat, taking your hand in his.  

“Depends on how much you like your son.”  

Dutch laughed, once again mirthless. “I like you.”  

“Let’s not do this now, please,” you groaned, and Dutch nodded despite himself.  

“Okay.”  

“You go back down, you can’t miss any more of your son’s wedding because of me.”  

Dutch appeared conflicted, agreeing with your statement but not wanting to leave you.  

“I’ll be fine,” you reassured.  

He brushed some hair from your face and nodded acceptingly. “Just have a rest for a bit. I’ve got my phone on me if you need anything, there’s some water and painkillers for you there.” With that he stood, placing his hands on his hips. “Make sure you take them.”  

“I will,” you assured him, and he placed a kiss on your lips. “I’ll see you in a bit.”  

“Alright. See you later.”  

-

You did as Dutch asked, taking the painkillers, finishing the water and remaining still for a time. After around an hour, you grew bored and started to wonder what you were missing out on. Sitting up slowly, you found yourself no longer feeling dizzy and placed your feet on the floor by your bed.   

Miraculously, there was no blood spilt on your dress, and you stood to give yourself a once-over in the mirror. A minor fix of your hair and a touch of makeup later, you walked a lap around your room and found yourself not the slightest bit dizzy. Your arm only felt numb, and you were okay with not being able to drink for the rest of the weekend, even if it did seem like a waste of an open bar.  

The girls and John had messaged you, telling you to let them know if you needed anything, but there were no messages from Dutch. In fairness, he had more than enough hands to shake and people to thank for their attendance, along with the fact you’d taken up more of his time than you’d intended on such a special day.  

Note to self: don’t give Dutch a blowjob in the bathroom at his son’s wedding. And don’t impale yourself with scissors after doing so, should you insist on doing it again.  

You made the walk back to the hall, the party now in full swing.   

John and Arthur were chatting nearby, and you walked over to them with an apologetic smile.   

“Oh, here she is!” John exclaimed, patting your back and being mindful of your new injury.  

“Yeah, I’m so sorry. It was so dumb of me.”  

“Don’t apologise to me,” Arthur grinned. “Just glad you’re okay?”  

“Completely fine. Just a case of the idiot.”  

“What else is new,” John muttered and tutted at him playfully.  

“There you are!” said Karen as she rushed over, “I heard you got in a fight with a wine glass?”  

With a friendly smile, you angled your arm away from her slightly swaying form. “I did. The wine glass won.”  

She barked a laugh, and you were reminded of her own escapades from earlier.   

“I see you and Mr Macguire are on good terms once again?” you asked, wiggling your brows.  

With an eye-roll, Karen began explaining. “Oh yeah, well, see that whole thing we fell out over -”  

John and Arthur had edged away, presumably to finish the conversation you interrupted. But you could hear them and couldn’t stop yourself from tuning in following the mention of Dutch’s name.  

“He’s off with Molly,” Arthur groused.  

“You’re kidding?”  

“No,” Arthur said through his teeth, and took a breath to remove the tension from his body. “I don’t think it was like that. Not again.”  

“I sure hope not.”  

“You and me both.”  

Molly? Like what?  

“Are you even listening?” Karen snapped you out of your nosy trance. “What sorta meds did they even give you?”  

“Yeah, I’m listening. Sorry. Still just a bit sleepy.”  

“Well, I would recommend a drink,” Karen looked round at your arm, “but I don’t fancy getting between you and the China cabinet later on.”  

With a scoff, you shook your head, noticing the end of Arthur and John’s conversation.  

Apparently, you’d missed the cutting of cake and Arthur and Charles’ first dance, but that didn’t mean you missed out on receiving a slice brought over by Abigail. You were glad for the excuse of not being allowed to over-exert yourself, given the swirling pit in your stomach at the second mention of Arthur’s friend Molly. The plan was to slip it into conversation with Dutch sooner rather than later, but he’d been AWOL for another hour until he took a seat beside you while you watched your friends as they danced; the slow song sparking more room for romance between Abigail and John, and now Karen and Sean.  

“Hello, my lady.”  

Turning in your seat you were met with Dutch, and offered him a restrained smile.  

“Feeling better?”  

“Yeah,” you nodded mutually, “just fine.”  

“Alright, good,” his expression dropped minimally, and he visibly searched for another line of conversation. “Will you dance with me?”  

At his nod to the dance floor of couples, you frowned at him and lowered your tone. “We’ve been through this. That’s asking for a death sentence, we can’t up and dance together in front of all these people.”  

“I don’t care,” he shrugged. “I want to dance with you.”  

In the corner of your eye, you noticed his hand edging towards your thigh and you stood, shooting him an angry glare. “Don’t be stupid,” you said, attempting to keep your expression neutral.   

“I’m -”  

“Actually,” you interrupted him. “I think I’m spent for the night. I reckon I’ll just head up to bed.”  

“Don’t,” Dutch stood, appearing casual and relaxed to an outsider but you could see the concern in his eyes. “Not yet, the party is still going.”  

Whether it was the alcohol still in your system, the mixture of it with the painkillers, or Dutch’s blatant disregard for subtlety you weren’t sure, but you began to get wound up. “I’m sure Molly is free for a dance.”  

His expression hardened, and you instantly regretted your words. You didn’t know a thing about the situation, and what you did know was vague hearsay. “What are you talking about?”  

You shrugged, genuinely uncertain. “I’m going to bed.”  

Without another word you turned, knowing full well he couldn’t follow you without rousing suspicion, and made for your hotel room.  

Hours passed of you staring at the ceiling, scrolling on your phone, and fidgeting in bed. The faint noise of the party you could hear from your open window had died down, and you closed it once the room grew chilly. Knowing John had his own room, you imagined Abigail was joining him, and assumed Karen had gone to Sean’s. For Javier’s sake, you only hoped he did end up finding a pretty cousin of John’s lest he want to sit through a rather unsavoury interaction between his two friends.  

It was no surprise that Dutch had continuously messaged you, some of questioning, some of apology, but most asking you to return to the party.  

There was a break in his attempts to contact you, and you grew irritated with yourself for snapping like that. You could’ve just asked him, instead of jumping to conclusions and making him bear the brunt of it. Nonetheless, there was a quiet part of your mind that wondered if it was warranted; wondered if he was hiding something from you, after all.  

It’d make sense, that if he had some sort of history with Molly, considering your actions, now would be the perfect time to rekindle anything that had existed before.  

As you followed the pattern of the swirls on the ceiling, your phone vibrated continuously. Glancing over, you found that Dutch was calling you. You ignored him.  

He called again, and you ignored him again. Of course, he couldn’t come to your room and demand an audience, considering the likely possibility that you weren’t alone.  

But you were, begrudgingly so. You’d hoped the girls would return, while you couldn’t confide in them about your feelings you could at least benefit from the comfort of their company. It wasn’t a lie that you were happy for them, off with their love interests, but still. It made for an annoyingly demanding train of thought with regards to your situation, and no means of interruption for it.  

After the fifth buzz of your phone, you decided to quit being stubborn and put yourself out of your misery, even if it did mean facing Dutch.  

“What?” you answered, and there was a pause as though Dutch hadn’t expected you to pick up.  

“We need to talk.”  

Oh, the dreaded line. “I don’t think we do.”  

“Come to my room.”  

“Why?”  

“I’m not doing this over the phone. I want to speak to you in person. Come to my room. Please.”  

You sighed, rather childishly kicking off your covers. “Fine.” You hung up the phone.  

The hallways were quiet, and you dragged your feet at the very real prospect that Dutch was about to break things off. Your repeated displays of immaturity throughout today alone were likely reason enough for him to second-guess it all and lose interest. After preparing yourself, you knocked gently at his door. He opened it instantly, wordlessly stepping aside and allowing you in, shutting the door behind you.   

He walked past you to sit on the bed, and when you remained stood in place, he patted the bed beside him. “Sit.”  

You did.  

“Look,” he began, rubbing at his brow, “there’s no easy way to have this conversation. I’m stressed enough as it is.”  

“Sure.”  

“I’ve been putting it off for a while, and I take the blame for that.”  

“I see.”  

“Still, it’s not exactly an easy situation. For either of us, I imagine.”  

“I know.”  

“This whole thing has weighed heavy on my mind.”  

“I understand.”  

Dutch frowned at you, observing your unchanging face for an extended moment. “I’d appreciate it if you weren’t so short with me.”

“Sorry.”  

He tutted, resting a hand behind himself. “I know you’re annoyed about Molly, but I’m trying to explain.”  

“You don’t have to.”  

“What?” he paused, “how do you plan on moving past it if we don’t talk?”  

You tilted your head at him, wondering if the two of you were even on the same page. “You don’t have to explain,” you repeated. “I’d rather you just get it over with, honestly.”  

“Get what over with?”  

“Breaking this off,” you shrugged, and Dutch looked at you incredulously.  

“You think that’s why I asked you to come?”  

You nodded.  

“And what of Molly? Where’s your grousing with regards to that?”  

“You don’t need to save my feelings. You’re at liberty to be with who you please, though I’d rather not have confirmation if you’d rather spend your time with her.”  

“That’s how it is, then? You think I’m going to bolt at the first sign of trouble? And what - jump into the arms of someone else?”  

“I’m sorry,” you glanced over his face, “is that not what’s happening?”  

“Of course not,” he said earnestly. “Jesus, what sort of man do you take me for?”  

You shrugged. “Just a man, I guess.”  

“Sweetheart,” he said softly, shaking his head. “I have no intention of ending things.”  

“No?”  

“Not one bit.”  

“Oh,” you settled, feeling even more like an idiot than you had at any point that day, which was saying something. “You can’t deny that it looks suspicious, though.”  

“I’m not denying that. But I – you,” he took your hand in his and kissed the back of it tenderly, “you mean a lot to me. It’s not a coincidence that I keep bringing up our future.”  

“It’s not?”  

“No. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”  

“What about it?”  

“Mainly the fact that I want one. I don’t know what your thoughts are, about me or our situation, and truthfully, I don’t know my own, either. But I do know that you’re special – very special – to me. I want something; in whatever form we can manage.”  

“Better than nothing,” you said quietly, and Dutch huffed a laugh of agreement.  

“Better than nothing.”  

You blinked at the ground, a sad sigh rippling over you, and Dutch pulled you into an embrace and rested his head on yours. “You silly girl. It’ll take a lot more than that to scare me off.”  

Nestling into him, you began to fiddle with the buttons of his shirt. “I’ll keep that in mind.”  

“You better.”  

Dutch released you, a pitying expression on his face as he took in the view of yours. “What is it that you’ve heard? About Molly?”  

“I’d rather you tell me what’s gone on first,” you said, hoping to put a little pressure on him not to try spinning you a lie.  

“Fair enough.” Dutch cleared his throat, preparing to tell the story. “For starters, I went to see her today to make sure she hadn’t seen me disappearing with you after Arthur mentioned she’d seen me by the bathroom. She hadn’t, so all is good. But I do owe you an explanation of our history, which is what I was trying to do earlier.”  

“Right,” that made sense, now that you thought about it. “Go ahead.”  

“I’m not proud of it,” he sighed guiltily. “There was a time a few years ago when Molly had come onto me after a few drinks at one of our family parties.”  

He observed you for a response, and you remained silent.  

“Rather stupidly, I pursued it. We only kissed,” he clarified, and it seemed like the truth, “just the once. I knew instantly that I was being stupid, that it was the whisky talking – not that that’s an excuse, I know – and that I had no interest in her.”  

You elected against offering a response just yet. It wasn’t the nicest thing to hear.  

“Unfortunately, she told Arthur. For whatever reason I’m not sure, the sting of rejection, perhaps. Of course, he flew off the handle at me, rightfully so, and things between us were rocky for a time. Eventually, he accepted my version of events, that I hadn’t purposefully tried to get with someone younger, no less one of his friends.”  

“So, you didn’t like her?”  

“Not a bit. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a lovely girl, but there was never anything between us.” He smiled wistfully at you, “not like it is with you.”  

“No?” you asked, a little tender and in need of some reassurance.  

“There was something about you from the moment I met you. I know,” he laughed self-depreciatingly, “it sounds cheesy. But it’s true. Still, I didn’t let myself entertain the thought. I knew it would only lead to more trouble and make me seem like even more of a creep.”  

You smiled a little at that. “That’s generally the outcome when you steal people’s underwear.”  

Dutch laughed genuinely. “I only steal yours, though I’m not sure that makes it any better. Anyway,” he looked down at his hands in his lap, “it all changed of course, when you kissed me.”  

“Oh yeah. Sorry about that.”  

“Don’t apologise,” he said warmly. “I admit, I allowed myself to indulge in your company, and I shouldn’t have even done that. But I did, and you kissed me, and I didn’t think of anything else until I got to kiss you again.”  

“Makes me feel better about your initial rejection, at least.”  

“I was worried you’d tell John. Stayed up all night planning how I was gonna talk my way out of it.”  

You sighed, inching towards him and looking him in the eye. “And that’s the truth?”   

“Absolutely,” he confirmed.  

“All of it?”  

“Every single bit. I promise, darlin’.”  

It was conflicting. Part of you wanted to think that maybe you were just another young thing that’d taken his fancy, but he seemed so genuine. You knew your relationship, you knew the time you’d spent together, and you knew how real it was. There was no way he could be faking it.  

“Darlin’?”  

“Yeah. It’s - it’s not ideal,” you settled on. “And I wish you’d have told me sooner. But still, I’m glad you have.”  

“I’m sorry. Really, I am,” he took your hands in his. “I meant what I said about our future. I want us to have one. I’m - maybe this really isn’t the right time to say this but screw it. I have fallen hard for you. So much so that I find myself loving you. I do, I love you, and I don’t need you to say it back, but you deserve to know -”  

“No,” you smirked, brows softening. “I love you too.”  

Dutch’s eyes lit up, and he wrapped his arms around you and placed a kiss on your forehead. “Well, thank god.”  

Your lips tugged upwards in tandem, and you kissed him sweetly. This was real, and serious.  

“I wish you’d have danced with me.”  

“Even if it weren’t for all this, I still wouldn’t have. Come on, Dutch,” you placed your hand on his flank, “you know that’d be crazy.”  

Dutch nodded against his desire to disagree. “I know, you deserve more than this, that’s all. You deserve to be shown off, not kept as some dirty little secret.”  

“I don’t feel like your dirty little secret. Maybe one day, we’ll figure out a way to approach this whole thing, but I can’t, not right now. With finals coming up this year I really don’t need anything to get in the way of that.” Dutch’s brows pulled together, and you placed your hand on his jaw. “You understand, right?”  

Begrudgingly, but with acceptance, Dutch nodded. “I do. I understand. We won’t think about it until after your exams are done.”

“Thank you.”  

Dutch kissed you once, twice and then planted a third on your nose.  

“I do have one request to make of you, actually,” you offered, and Dutch’s brows pulled up in interest.  

“And what might that be?”  

You stood, offering a hand to him. “I believe you do still owe me a dance. Even if it’s in secret.”  

Dutch smiled and stood, taking your hand in his and placing his other at your waist. “Now, how could I say no to that.”  

The two of you slow-danced, to the music of nothing other than the sound of your bodies in the dimly lit hotel room. You lay your head on his chest, listening to the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat, and couldn’t help but think about the fullness of your own.  

It seemed the pair of you had too been afflicted by the romance permeating the air. 

[indigitalembrace]

[ooc: since this is a long message I’m not encoding it, but it is encrypted in-universe]

spooky. sup.

i got somthin big cookin. but for this to work i need intel.

first, i need a favour. i cant do much thanks to the watchdog. i so much as twitch my fingers on the keyboard in the wrong place an time and this whole operation will come crashin down. so. if u can, watch the shrimp for me when they are online doin mundane stuff. because if they do stuff like use social media, play games that require a registered account, use their email and especially if they get online deliveries to their house, those all will have info that will help me figure out where they live irl.

second: tell me everything u know about how pinkie can access an affect the real world. whats the limitations. how much warning would i get. what r the access points. do devices need power for it to be able ta use em? how functional do they have to be? would pinkie be able to exit a screen the size of a pager or somthin? does it need an internet connection to jump pcs or can it do that without it?

and can it be hurt in the real world? can it be hurt by destroying its host device while its occupyin it? or is the only way to kill it digitally? did you ever have a program specifically set up for that (if so, y u no gimmie dat earlier!? rude!). how long would it take?

also any info u have picked up on shrimp or their livin space that might be useful for an irl confrontation would be suuuuuper handy as well.

give me all ya got on all these things. if its a lot, just send me a zip file or somthin lol.

i do have some unfortunate news. i think we gotta change our 'meeting site' soonish. ill send ya some prospectives later. i have a feelin that it might get compromised.

i mayyyyyy have poked the shrimp with a stick. don’t worry, they wont be able to tell the actual pc I used. I am da disquise master. it is me. also i lied. ive scrounged up some burner laptops anyway. my friends r awesome (dont worry they aint involved they just knew I needed the laptops for reasons and they are used to me Enacting Shenanigans).

oh. And one last thing. when I get there, hightail off that pc asap. im gonna signal u and give you a path to a safe pc. Do Not Hesitate. cuz trust me no matter how I decide ta play this u will *not* wanna be on that computer when im doin my thing. and ill almost certainly be disabling the wi-fi in the process.

id like u ta not be double dead. low key fond of ya spookster.

Goblin out

[ooc: If there is a lot of info to give and you don’t want to post it all here, message me and we can work something out like a google doc or something. Or maybe there’s not much for Sonny to say. I dunno, I’m not driving this crazy train lol]

[ENCRYPTED MESSAGE] Ty. Kqgwkh'j tpx cex nhw voe zrtpxf rec tpx rrmr ywn bvxu… lcvyzep fwk mfn, ye'a wwjmiakmsu. Ted abbtx Z czxokxu hqf… W bgfw zbuym nhmks yx jtwksj xmezrhybeg. [SENDING ENCRYPTED FILE "SHRIMP_DATA.zip"] Myab lvfncd ptjv xmezrhybeg ghi exvd. Qm'g vovrgmvzgx tpth jipivz afgjtmk yehns. Ghi dtp nwm vrov mcvv ntinqgu navn px uvmj avzfp. Xmev t qffgubxf tkrspbbx pfn'b lhfi yiu. As ytj fcez thetzhz fovr bas jrjtmf, pfmy ibl vrkuwiks rgu swyhntie. Bas dhjt qgjrlzvm iffziau B'jv xmez lsvg. Zf ghi jxv hql tfkd sbtfk mf cptbxx, rnl as'j zioeg wemf a nhfd pztp vzrpj, ib'l hfh cabx. Wk'l vxbko khf lims zy ye ohsj betw awj lyalhk-chfkqgu whim. Px ceep dwxg kart ease av's zxocep, rmtzcr gialsu ted thgzgx cwghihc on awj xdobbcel. Khmks zl… eo etm kh wioah fk fubkie azm, aacim ff jhcbbeg qm hf mye vxoixjt xeotx waz yoi tnag yfff rng xzvvkrwgwt wvvqvsj. B uo vhh bgfw phk ktcl ghi rkv, bcm W uhlbb rcl tie wosi mvn igr r arln ysvm kate. Vv'l rlah trlk. Efmfvfvlg yojm. Rnl mvzgbs ynwtdcy, bhc, vovn qy vv wfeag'h dtbe bas dhjt zthzheat wstbjiwgg. Z wf nwm yehn hql zzfztimwfgj iv msifj on lqixvn abnv, ult Q wc bgfw pbg andpqgu wkfm avfvxe tw lqixvn wnhjbue bas ubxibtz nhill lsvfj ivwsgxedmgh fy rn qghvkeeb vcegvcbbce. Fp bmlh kavozr wj myab tg r wzgqmoc uvivz, vv bj ciiosev on zsexiabbbx azs wpb thenmvhzhe on lcdx jozm, plm vvmg W uhe't nnzcr lnlxfjmrnl awd. B lsmw hf arvm t yzec sebhta ff ahfkl. R bivyuhfr bh rvevtm awj lvrdxfj. Nefwkhlgrtmem, yx wocgr kart utbp rvazl oxh. Jeiesu bk ux, wsjmiogxr nartmosi av cwnzu, vyavzsu tcl bas gtjsehful. Nhimsmxi ywn rf, rfuz usjm thigqv hw sckjzorl ql hf frkm liix ye lhsjg'k smx mfn, fr pxoi rfu, wk smxe nwmwtx poc'ks kavrm. Mvrm jhzbag gvvmk zvtmea mvvbi rwha, yheeamzp, ted Sbbzmf's iekrrj wimqybeg. Ghi exvd bh ardv scks yx zsv'm ocxitmw, ci bk's otav hmez yci rfu. Ohcu elcs, fm wkzevw. Gktp siys.

[potential-fate]

I sorta loathe the ts2 fat morph....

which has apparently become a project of it's own.

so I mentioned this vaguely somewhere, but thought I should make a generalize post about it. Mainly cause it'll probably affect any cc I make in the future so... there's that.

Anyway.... because I've spent the last few months sorta adding fat morphs to some of my really old clothing, I quickly realized that I didn't have to deal with EA's "fat" morph. There is literally nothing stopping me from just... making it look better/how I want it to.

Anyways, long story short, I'm picky. There are a decent amount of nice bodyshapes out there, and while I like them, I don't like having multiples of the same outfit (it's the same reason I ended up going with Sunshine hair.) I like sticking to the game's original setup, which in the case of fit states, is unfortunately limited.

I also spend most of my time posing and doing story posts, so I'm not a fan of the much larger bodyshapes, even though I love them in theory.... because they clip a ton, and make more work for me later. So I wanted something that I liked 🤔 but also didn't fuck with the in-game animations too much.

Also, I just sorta like the pear-shaped chunky body type (it's not at all cause it resembles mine lmao nope.... not at all.)

anyways, idk if anyone is even still reading this, but uh... yeah.

I guess this is me, introducing the "sorta chunky, sorta pear-shaped, 'still not really a fat morph' in my opinion because game limitations" bodyshape/fatmorph? (Or, in short cause filename size 'pfate pearshape'.)

At least as an idea. idk if anyone is at all interested in this. but if they are, I can share whatever people want about it/resources for it? idk it's not like I have WSOs cause I honestly don't know how to use them let alone make them. I tend to just make my morphs by hand.

But on a technical note, I think I have most of the Digi Marvine feet naked meshes defaults changed to this, and some other stuff too. mainly Club Crimson stuff, because frankly, I'm still using the files I had from 2012 so none of them had morphs at all (though I'm sure someone somewhere HAS added morphs to them.)

[[ TL;DR is this: I felt like I needed to make a post about it, cause some of the stuff I'm gonna be sharing coming up has fat-morphs based on this. things like defaults that either didn't have morphs so I added them, or they had morphs but I edited them anyways because I was defaulting them with specific sims in mind (like Jorah, Alex or Ginevra) and I wanted a post that I could link back to for reference on those posts. ]]

in any case, if I make a default and change the morphs from ones that already exist, and you WANT the defaults with the original morphs, that's very easy to switch out and I will gladly do it if you ask lol. otherwise I'll probably edit things as I see fit since uhm. well I make cc 99.9% for myself 😂😅

Other age turnarounds under the cut, cause this is too long already.

EU Bodies (Left: Maxis Standard/thin, right: Pfate-Pearmorphs)

TU Bodies (Left: Maxis Standard/Thin, right: Pfate-Pearmorphs)

CU Body (Left: Maxis Standard/Thin, right: Pfate-Pearmorphs)

CU body changed the least from the original fat-morph, then the elder femme frame, I would say? cause the elder frame already had a sort of pear shape (that sorta inspired the other femme ages.) the others are varying degrees of change, with AM being the strongest change by far.

[asoftgoth]

I hope these aren't intrusive to ask, but when it comes to your recent hip growth...

A. It's so cute, first of all

B. Do you believe they're growing solely because of HRT, or because of HRT plus you're specifically eating enough to continue gaining during your transition?

And when it comes to your transition in general, if you happen to plan to undergo any sort of gender confirmation surgery, have you already looked into qualifications/patient criteria? I'm not asking because I want to pry about you but because I think my egg is cracking but I'm already about the same size as you and I'm worried that if I even try transitioning, eventually I'll hit a road block at which point if I want to get any relevant surgery, they won't consider me viable unless I lose a lot of weight.

Again, I'm so sorry if this isn't stuff you're comfortable talking about, in which case please don't feel obligated to reply to this at all. I hope you're doing well!

Hey there :) First off im happy to answer pretty much any transition related questions. These are really invasive though and I appreciate you acknowledging that. For everyone that will read this, please don’t expect every trans person you speak with to be willing to open up like this. But with that said here we go:

A: Lol thank you 🥰💕

B: Its such an exciting and scary part of someone’s life when their egg is starting to crack. I remember those days well and I feel for you. But trust me, it gets so much better 💕 And about your questions, my hip growth is because of HRT mainly, and the fact that I have an overall decent diet. That’s pretty much it. And the diet aspect is important, when you transition your body is undergoing a massive transformation and it needs energy to help it along. My actual diet is for another post maybe, (it’s not anything special tho) but I’m not “actively gaining” and haven’t been since I started HRT, believe it or not! It might surprise some people but I’ve actually lost weight even though I’ve added about 3 inches to my hips since starting almost 9 months ago. Almost all of the weight I’ve lost (about 40lbs) has been from muscle loss throught my body. Plus I’ve also lost a ton of visceral fat from my waist(yay), and gained lots of subcutaneous fat in my ass and thighs (also yay). That’s not to mention my chest which is *really* growing a ton, and fast too. I’d say im really lucky with how my proportions are filling out, but it’s a long process and im extremely grateful. Transitioning definitely isn’t over night tho and as much as this sucks, it’s a genetic roll of the dice for what your proportions will look like. Transitioning takes a lot of bravery, and I don’t say that lightly.

With all that said, yes I do have some surgeries in mind that I want and plan on getting in the next few years. I don’t want bottom surgery, but if I did then my size would be an issue. There are strict BMI limitations for getting a vaginoplasty. It fucking sucks but that’s just the reality of things in 2023. Simpler surgeries like getting an orchi don’t have those requirements and that’s one thing I plan on getting fairly soon. Another one is FFS. I’ve actually talked with a few surgeons already who do FFS and some have BMI requirements and others don’t. The ones that don’t unfortunately may cost a bit more from what I’ve seen. (But they do have more experience too). For implants and things like that, I don’t know, I haven’t researched boob jobs specifically but I can’t imagine BMI would be an issue there. I know it isn’t for fat injections in your butt/hips.

One last thing too that I wanna make clear, because a lot of people might read this. You don’t have to actually take any medicine or have any procedures done to be transgender 💕 Medically transitioning is something that helps so many of us and is absolutely necessary for (I would say) most trans people, (it 100% saved my life, I wouldn’t be here without it). But not all, and it doesn’t define your transness whether or not you’ve taken ~this~ medicine or had ~that~ surgery. I was just as much a woman as I am now for the year before I started HRT when I knew I was trans. And I was just as much a girl when I was born. I’ve been a woman all my life, it just took a little while for me to figure myself out haha. Just trust your gut and make healthy decisions. I put off the whole “deliberately gaining” thing while my body is going through all this change. And I personally feel like im better off for it. However I’m working out and eating to help grow my lower half, so I guess you could say my gaining journey isn’t over, it’s just changed. But anyway, I hope this helps you and anyone who reads this, sorry it was so long lol. If you have any other questions don’t hesitate to ask, and my inbox is always open too 🖤

[royaletiquette]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

what’s your OTP for your muse(s)?

I don't have one for Hibiko. She's so fun in all kinds of situations and relationships, I couldn't possibly choose. Hibiya, unfortunately, I always go back to Delic, who is apart of the I guess fancanon Hibiya is originally from. It's just endless potential. The reason I started rping, the reason I always come back. Fucking feral and not normal about them.

what are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

Oh geez, it'd be easier to answer what I'm not willing. I think as long as there's transparency between muns, we can go from there. Somethings feel kinda of uhhhh depressing for depression sake that I probably wouldn't want to write, like cheating (between our muses) or death. Those just feel like a bad time with a cheap payoff.

how large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

I think for my muses, as long as someone isn't as old as their parents. For me, that's a line to discover when I get there.

are you selective when shipping?

I'm picky with ships in general, in that I need a muse to feel believable. They don't need a novel's worth of lore, just enough that I can see genuine life. Muses with bodybuilder like muscles, I need a lifestyle-reason why. Builder-sized biceps and rock-hard abs, people who are dedicated to tracking micros get that. That's a bad example flakjglk but please, believability in your muse existing is so important for Hibi to hook into that connection.

how far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

Ahhh, def another one of those things that's best when not given strict guidelines. Actions and nudity that are sexual in nature? lol such a lame answer

does one have to ask to ship with you?

Not necessarily. If someone's muse catches feelings for Hibi, that's all good, so long as they of course know it might be unrequited feelings. And even if they both have feelings, Hibi has a specific person who they're going to be in a relationship with and that won't change because of looooveee.

how often do you like to ship?

If our muses are having any kind of connection, I'm already thinking about it. Hibi is just as eager for those kind of relationships, how can I not.

are you multiship?

Yes 100% and always. Singleships feel so limiting to me and kinda put me off usually for some reason.

are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

Omg honestly, who isn't obsessed with finding new and unique ships for their muses

what is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

I could truly never decide between Hibi and Delic or Shitsuo, they're both so precious. Some days its Shitsuo, today it's Delic.

finally, how does one ship with you?

Let's just write it out bro! We can take just in tags if it feels awkward plotting anything too far out at first. But muns have also blindly come to me with full ass plots they wanna play around with and that's just as fun.

tagged by: @gossamerlaced

[knotalot]

Hi ! I saw your Aether doll, and I was just wondering what's your process for the hair and the clothes? A friend's birthday is coming up (very) soon, and they really like Aether, so I'd love to know how to make this kind of stuff. I think you're really talented! :)

Hi! Thank you for your kind words :)

My process is largely on a ‘trial and error’ basis, but I’ve done my best to make a guide for you (using Aether as an example, since you mentioned him specifically). Unfortunately right now all of my stuff is in storage due to unstable living conditions, so I hope you’ll forgive me for only being able to offer pre-existing photos and hand-drawn diagrams. When I get access to my stuff again, I might do a step-by-step process for hair (for Lumine, since she’s my current WIP) but that could be quite a while yet.

Stuck under a read more because this is gonna get long lol

I’ll start with clothes because I always leave hair til last.

The first thing I do is hoard as many references as I possibly can, from as many different angles as possible. These are the one I used for Aether (made myself because I couldn’t find any online that met my needs), though I did also sometimes log into my game and rotate him in the character menu haha

From here, the next step is to start dissecting the layers. Work from the base up, and break it down specifically into what you would make as a single piece, rather than say the shirt base AND the sleeves AND the decal. If that makes sense.

I don’t normally draw diagrams or anything like I will be for this, but if that helps you visualise it by all means do!

(I also tend to go really ham on the details because I’m a perfectionist, but please don’t torture yourself unless you really want to. Making things a little more simplistic is perfectly fine and valid.)

I won’t do the whole thing or I’ll reach image limit but here’s an example of how you might break it down:

The more you simplify it, the easier time you’re going to have.

The next step for me, after I raid my cupboard and the local craft store for the right colours, is to work out which pieces of the clothing I’m going to incorporate into the doll’s base body and which will be separate.

For Aether, for example, the ‘hand’ part of his gloves are the actual doll’s hands, but the bit that flares up his arm isn’t. The boots are part of his actual legs up until the part where it flares up over the top of his pants, which I made as a separate piece. The seat of his pants are the bottom half of his base body, but the pant legs themselves are add-ons. Does that make sense?

Next, make your base body! If you’d like to use my pattern, you can find it in my pinned post :)

Once you’ve got the base doll, I start adding layers of clothing. I always use a smaller hook size for the clothes than I do for the base body. In my case I like 2.5mm (and a teeny tiny 1.25mm for fine details and thin layers – but we’ll get to that later). I normally start with the pants.

My normal method of doing pants is this:

Essentially, I crochet directly into the base body in a circle around the base of the leg (so I am not chaining, but actually single crocheting through random stitches on the base in a loose circle shape), and then work in rounds until I reach the length I want.

Because Aether’s pants are puffy at the bottom and have two colours (*shakes fist at hoyo designers*), though, the process ends up being a little different.

I made his pants in two pieces: the outer side and the inner side. So instead of rounds, it ends up being rows. To get that nice puff, just do some standard increases in the right spot and make sure to decrease on the lower rows to taper it back in.

Once you have both pieces, you can just sew the two halves together.

The flare of the boot over the top of the pants is exactly the same process. Attach and single crochet directly onto the leg from the top of the boot, working up towards the waist.

For trickier shapes like the gloves, it’s sort of just familiarising yourself with what kinds of effects different stitches do and allowing yourself to get it wrong about a dozen times before it actually works lol

If you break down the gloves properly, you end up with a shape similar to this:

(this is not great i am so sorry – I am realising once again my reference was awful for the gloves)

But you can kind of see how it’s largely bulb shapes for the brown part, which is easy to do with increases and decreases. The white part I made separately and attached afterwards. Yes it was a huge, tedious pain in the ass.

For finer details, like his jewellery and, like, the shoulder armour, etc etc, I use the smallest hook I can tolerate. Please do not attempt this unless you lowkey hate yourself because it is torture.

So when you look at yarn, you can see that it has a bunch of smaller strands wound together, right?

You gotta split em.

Like this.

(image borrowed from http://illuminatecrochet.blogspot.com/2015/03/what-is-ply.html)

And then. You are going to use that tiny ass hook. And crochet those individual strands. It sucks. It breaks constantly. It makes you want to commit a crime. But damn if it doesn’t look good.

On a similar note, don’t be afraid to use the 2.5mm/whatever hook you use for clothes with less than the full ply of the skein you’re using. For Aether’s cape, I did the outer facing white part with only 2 of the strands in my 8ply yarn, and the inside orangey part with the 1.25mm and one strand. It’s still a little fatter than I’d like but it’s better than doing the whole thing in single strand torture mode lol

I’ll wrap up clothing here but if you want some help with anything specific just let me know!

On to hair!

For hair, I use felt square sheets that are like $1 each. Except for Aether because he has to have a Very Special Hair Colour that my craft store doesn’t stock so his cost me $7 :/

It’s a similar kind of deal for hair as it is for clothes. Break down the shapes and start from the bottom up.

(This is not a good look for him rip)

Layers are your friend! As are sewing pins! For real, do not glue anything down until you’ve got the whole thing pinned down because once you glue you’re in for a bad time if you need to fix something.

I’ve made two Aethers (one as a custom gift commission, one for myself) and they’re both a little different from each other, but this should help give you an idea of how I translated it to felt. I like to simplify if I can, purely because larger pieces tend to look a bit neater and less chaotic than a bunch of smaller ones.

For his braid, I found the easiest way to do it was to just cut three really long straight pieces, braid em, and then trim the end to the length I needed.

My absolute biggest #1 tip for hair:

If it looks bad but you haven’t finished, do not stop and restart.

It will always looks stupid as hell in the early stages. Don’t make a judgement call on whether or not it looks right until you’ve at least got the whole front part/fringe area fully pinned in place. Trust me.

I think that’s probably about all I have the energy for right at this second, but again if you have any questions or want help on anything specific, my inbox/DMs are always open – and that goes for anyone reading this! I’m always happy to help :)

[huntershowl]

verse drop: bnha !!

general info.

name: persephone aisa alias (villain): hellhound allegiance: the unseen (organized crime) quirk: voidsmoke. persephone's hair dissolves into plumes of inky black smoke that she can directly manipulate. the smoke darkens any patch of shadow that it enters, allowing her to obscure her body in dim light and darkness. additionally, as their quirk evolves, they become able to manipulate its solidity, size and shape, which allows her to temporarily create small objects from the smoke (bullets, knives) & spread it outwards to fill an entire space with pitch-darkness. all created objects must eventually return to shadow; she can only make/maintain a few at a time before they start disintegrating. additionally, there is an upper limit to how large of a space she can turn pitch-black. (this limit can be trained, though, as can the amount/size/complexity of existing objects!) additionally, it is much more taxing to create darkness in a brightly-lit area than a dimly-lit one. enhancements: advanced prosthetic arms, upper-body skeletal reinforcement preferred gear: sniper rifle, several knives, brass knuckles, climbing shoes, grappling-hook arm attachment, reinforced clothing

two versions of this verse are described under the cut:

main ( villain, age/timeline-agnostic ) — inside your head the sound of glass.

UA ( student, early seasons ) — snake in the garden.

main ( villain, age/timeline-agnostic ) — inside your head the sound of glass.

the villain HELLHOUND has only been terrorizing the world for one year. for the first several months of that year, they only plagued the U.S. with their murders. japan was unfortunate enough to become their next target one month ago, but even in that short time they have already made quite the stir.

the strange thing about her — well. one of many, lol. — is that not only does she go after civilians and heroes, but other villains as well. it seems hellhound is indiscriminate in the moral alignment of those she eviscerates in the streets. additionally, sources are inconsistent and conflicting about what her quirk actually is. most are in agreement that it has to do with their hair, which melts into shadowy smoke at the ends, but those in the U.S. who endured her presence longer insist that it is some kind of lycanthropic transformation quirk. a beast-form, a giant wolf made of shadow and rage. as time goes on, more and more of japan's populace have begun to subscribe to this belief as well.

this verse can take place after the UA student verse or independent of it, depending on how sad we want to be. if it takes place afterwards, seph was pulled out of japan at some point in the timeline and sent to the US by her employer in THE UNSEEN. she completely vanishes, going zero-contact with everyone (including her brother), and comes back two years later as a villain — a monstrous shell of her former self.

UA ( student, early seasons ) — snake in the garden.

in this verse, persephone is sent by the unseen to infiltrate class 1-A and feed back information about the next wave of pro heroes. she has not yet experienced the events that lead to her becoming hellhound, but regrettably, that doesn't make her THAT much less aggressive. sorry to add to the angy energy bakugou brings to the class, but. whooops.

as a student, persephone is a little punk. she struggles to work with others and reacts to even the smallest provocation with anger. she doesn’t go out of her way to bully anyone, unless they do it to her first, but she is known for being prickly and very solitary. they are incredibly easy to rile and often get into fights. the only person they treat with kindness is their twin brother orion, who is in the support class.

that being said, she is still much easier to get along with — and importantly, quite a bit more trusting — than she is in hellhound verses. there are certainly things she likes, for instance (wild i know): being a delinquent, alternative metal music, raspberry sweets, cool knives!

unlike the other alleged UA mole, persephone's operation as a spy does not directly threaten the other students in any way. the unseen is a criminal organization that operates primarily for profit. its leader ( amari fletch, an ex-pro hero ) is perfectly fine letting the world run the way it runs, so long as the global leaders in their pocket continue to turn a blind eye to their highly illegal operations around the world. if someone goes against them, they are violently made an example of.

all of that being said, persephone is still a trained killer. she slips away from school often, as does orion, without any explanation to where she's gone — occasionally for days at a time. she is always diligent with make-up training and assignments, however, and her grades are solid despite the distractions.

when the war starts, the unseen's allegiance is to no one. (though this is subject to change, of course. an attractive enough offer could sway them.) this allows one of two branches to take place:

either the unseen allies with all for one and sends persephone to work with him & the league,

or they remain neutral and allow her to work with her peers against all for one.

[yanderu-deredere]

THEY GO UP TO 6"3 ⁉️⁉️⁉️ lord have mercy thats an entire foot taller than me (5"3........ crying) i will be cowering in fear (or excitement whichever one comes first)

a/n: really truly, anon.... that's unfortunate LOL me, hiding in the corner at a whopping five foot even. anyway, this isn't abt me, it's abt you.

now that u mention it tho, i think i need to make some of these bitches smaller. i think my size kink is showing lmao but it's just so fun to make them giants! like why not? im god, i control this world! neway, my next oc is gunna be like avg size (which i googled after typing this and apparently is 5'10 so we're both still screwed anon)

liam arieh ★ soren kumar

Liam always stood confidently; he knew he could act arrogantly because he had the guns (both metaphorically and physically) to back him up. However, for some reason, standing in front of a small thing like you, all nervous and fidgety, he couldn't help but stand a little straighter, try to get even a quarter of an inch taller than the dainty pop star on the other side of you.

"Its why you have to drink your milk." He teased you, broad hand coming up to cup the back of your neck. Though his words seemed innocent enough, there was a tone in his voice that made it sound like there was something more to it than that. Coupled with the smirk on his face, all devilish and handsome, well...

Soren, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. If Liam was shady, Soren was the sun. It was what he was known for after all; the sunny member of his band, the leader who could do no wrong. Standing in front of him like this, you could understand. He was tall and broad-shouldered, looking dependable and responsible. Yet, when he looked down at you, there was a gleam in his eye that made a cold shiver roll down your spine.

"Don't tease them." Soren swatted Liam's hand away from you before pulling you close by the shoulders. Your head hit his very firm and solid chest and you couldn't help but think huh, you only came up to his chest?

Somehow, standing so close in between the two of them, you didn't feel very safe.

You were right not to feel safe. Standing next to them, you were small. Bent in half like this, with Soren holding your knees to your ears, you were even smaller.

"Fuck," you heard Liam mutter into your ear, his breath making you shiver and his thick cock in your entrance making your head absolutely spin "You're going to take your milk like a good little pet, right?"

You heard Soren laugh boyishly above you, his cock pressing in right beside Liam's, both of them thick and throbbing and stretching you past your limits and beyond, teetering you between pain and pleasure. "Hey, maybe if you drink enough of our milk here, you'll grow taller, hmmm?"

"Oh, yeahhh." Even though you could barely think, you could still recognize the sarcasm in Liam's voice "We should definitely try that. What do you say, baby? Wanna take all our milk like a good little pet, get nice and tall?"

Yeah, sure, it was worth a try, wasn't it?

[vacantgodling]

well now i wanna know about nyoka and verin✅🛑🎁📢🔮🗺️

DANKE <3

✅Biggest turn ons? Something they'll always be into?

verin: making partner scream/be extremely vocal, edging/orgasm denial (for both himself and his partner), overstimulation (for both himself and his partner), and he’s got a bit of a breeding kink 👀

nyoka: monsterfucking (obviously), dirty talk (even if it somewhat embarrasses them), being a pillow princess (tho removed from the main wip they would definitely get into being more Active during sex, they’re just never gonna say no to verin holding them down and giving them what they need)

both: size kink (it’s one of the main things that is a big deal in this wip bc verin goes from 6feet to like 8-9 feet with 4 arms and a MONSTER cock and they’re both very into that)

🛑Biggest turn offs? What are their hard-nos?

verin: being tied down (though he doesn’t mind doing light bondage to his partner he just doesn’t like being restrained it triggers him)

nyoka: penetrating (or topping), knife/blood play

🎁They get a suggestive gift from a partner. What's inside?

verin: if nyoka ever bought him a present he’d be over the moon; even more so if it was a cock ring so he can test his limits of how long he can hold out 💛

nyoka: anal beads would make them beet red but they would absolutely give it a go

📢How private are they about their sex life and sexual preferences?

verin: as a immortal god, verin has Very Little qualms about being open about his sex life. if it exists, he’s probably done it—not that he’s a god of pleasure per se but he’s gotten around. very experienced lol.

nyoka: Is Literally A Virgin and all they’ve ever experienced about sex before verin was just it’s demonizaiton bc if they became a non-virgin they can’t be sacrificed to the gods! sex has always been kind of a mystical thing to them, but they don’t really know what they’re into,,, their personality makes them blunt even if they’re shy about things so while i don’t think they’re open on purpose if you asked they MAY answer.

🔮Are there any unique or fantastical aspects of sexuality in the world of your WIP that they engage in? Non-human characteristics, magic?

well main thing is verin’s god form—so, he has blue skin, 6 eyes, 4 arms, and his cock is like. bad dragon levels of ridiculously big. he can technically shift his form At Will, and i think he CAN split his cock into two (so they’re just slightly less girthy than when he has just one but still decently sized) so there’s a LOT of fun to be had with him. strength, stamina, and cum are all endless for him, so he only really takes a break for nyoka’s sake cuz he could Keep Going. though i’m sure there will be times in the future where he gently and lovingly feeds them more stamina via magic so they can keep going, but nyo absolutely passes out for like 3 days after and he apologizes so profusely even if they’re like, totally fine with it and completely blissed out lmao.

🗺️Does their culture have a strong impact on their sexuality? Which parts?

in the religious sects of their society they’re very puritan and modest/chaste, despite the actual world itself (in my mind) kind of being more adjacent to indian/latin american/island vibes. people don’t necessarily dress modestly but preserving the chastity (especially of sacrifices) is a Big Fucking Deal and sex before marriage isn’t really a THING. obviously red light districts exist but they’re seen sort of as lesser by the main religion even though they all in said red light do fervently worship the host of gods so it’s a bit mismatched every. nyoka doesn’t actually have many of these qualms though because technically they’re a “foreigner” — their parents were merchants and they traveled to this city when they were young, but unfortunately their parents contracted a disease and they passed. nyoka was then taken in by the religious sect as an orphan to be sacrifices BUT they’ve always been super discriminatory towards them. they actually don’t know much about their own culture like where they’re from originally but they know they Deffo don’t jive with the vibes here.