#unfortunately god is not so forgiving and they went on to have my siblings who also have to suffer

[asbestieos]

because my dad was the local dead drunk alcoholic everyone just kinda avoided us or never talked to us . i lost my childhood friend because her dad and my dad were beefing andthey forbade us from seeing each other again outside of school. and by the time they made up she had new friends and i kinda didnt. i think my whole life has been a dream. i still remember my middle school classmates but i cant rrally call them friends i was a bit of a dramatic ittle cunt 2 them so i hope theyve all forgotten about me jow and dont remember me at all. our hiusehold was the Miserable and Poor household full of Sadness and Misery so my schoolteachers just thought i was the weirdo chinese kid (i am vietnamese).and i didnt get to sleep over at a friend’s house or go to a convention or generlaly interact with the world outside of Misery Family House until i was 20. im 21 now. i dont think ive been alive at all. they stopped throwing any ofus birthday parties after my 7th-ish birthday. i stopped going to church after i realized even the church people wouldnt help my dad stop drinking. my parents never got involved in our lives and didnt bother trying to learn more english and instead pushed us to learn more vietnamese. the language barrier made our miserable lives even more miserable

i think my family mightve been a bit cursed

[pokefanbri]

Bri's back story

Little back story, my mom's birthday is Halloween btw lol 🎃 She was a very wild child & couldn't be controlled by grama & grampa rip. Who always compared her to her older siblings who were roudy & eventually became roudy herself. Conceived me & twin bro in New Orleans where she had fun & came back pregnant w/us, Grampa passed in 96 & the fam split, she raised 4 kids on her own, did crack & broke under the pressure, got us taken away is the gist.

We were put in foster care when I & my twin bro (13) & 2 younger siblings were all split up into group homes after twin bro called cps & snitched on her, can't forgive her, paint himself as the victim & says I abandoned the family of which was only his opinion nobody else's. Since I reunited with her I'm unforgivable & discarded by him & my aunt by association. But honestly foster care was probably the best thing for us cuz we struggled to eat at home, whereas actually well taken care of my the government. Twin & I got through our HS careers in separate schools w/the same build blueprint so was like a twin school...thank God he would have cramped my style 😎 We got jobs at 16 to save for apt after emancipation. The only issue was visitations, they wouldn't let us see her cuz CPS is ALWAYS AGAINST THE MOTHER... denied her rights to see us but we could see each other. (cuz drugs are involved regardless if from good homes or not, I had a roommate w/a similar situation w/her kids but she was a good mom) My younger bros got adopted out into & nice family, twin bro naturally got adopted by them as well but at 19 cuz he wanted what they had. Right b4 that he crashed at my earned apartment, that I had in high school. They got all their own cars & everything they wanted, big but messy house. However I went a diff route & not knowing it was an option to be adopted, I did everything on my own & humbled myself on the bottom living my own struggle....... while they floated in a pool & had loving parents & went on cruises without me. But none of them know God, it's a shame really how reverse the world seems. But I understand why He made it this way, for my life to be in shambles is with a relationship with Him & it gets easier after every lesson, more interesting too never a dull moment. He's going to weed out the truly faithful from liars in the end. There's no hiding from God, He's gonna do everything in the perfect order according to His plan. Everything I've experienced is all part of the process & I just have to stay patient

Twin Bro always played video games & ignored everything. Loves Harry potter & looks just like him. Smart, won a bike from a Geography B. Loves Britney Spears (I found out that Britney is the female version of his name 🤣 no wonder) was introduced to a lot of games by watching him play Playstation, & GameCube that we shared but never let me play, so I was stuck playing our N64. Fought with mom a lot about her secret addiction. All we had was each other growing up for a while until our siblings came around. We kind of drifted apart but not my choice. He's the only person in the family that thinks I abandoned them when it's literally an obviously reverse, only cuz I was associated mom at all in the past. He wants nothing to do with her so he wants something to do with me as well. I'm always compared to my mom and I hate it.

Middle child always had a knack for making money 💰 starting young ADHD & had wild ideas to get in trouble. Always high, scheming, has multiple businesses going but seems to always be broke & asking for money, & has 4 kids. Usually only concerned about how he can use u to his advantage & how much he can make off of u. However he may be Fked up the most & may need an exorcism due to antichrist & blasphemous behavior.

Youngest grew up right cuz he was too young & is very very funny, actually cares about me but doesn't know me very well unfortunately.

I've always been quiet ordered around to do the chores and clean the house like Cinderella. Wake everyone up, get the little ones ready for school as well as myself. Babysat my brother's constantly, was mothering them from a young age making sure they didn't get into trouble, while my twin brother played video games the whole time & mom got high. She did the best she could with 4 kids I guess, but gave up, clouded judgement by the drugs. We were quite a few years away from coming back home to Tucson from Iowa & well that's a whole other story back east. I believe when my Youngest brother's abusive dad was in jail it was a chance for us to leave & come home. Actually glad he didnt know his dad, the worst kind of paranoid schizophrenia, not the kind I am...the untreated scary psycho kind with hitting involved 😰 u dont wanna know. So years go by & after staying with my mom's friend & her kids for a while, we got our own place. & Years after 9/11, in 2004 we were taken by cps. I was still ordered to clean every day til I got my own apartment & had no choice but to clean, now I'm ocd to a point lol. Eventually mom went to rehab & everything we own was thrown into the garbage. Me being sneaky, went back to our apt after school during my time at the group home when I wasn't supposed to & stuffed my backpack with my CDs, book collections of rare Pokémon & 95% girly Yugioh cards of which I Eventually gave away which was so stupid of me 😫😓 Took a while to collect em all. The yugioh cards may still be at my church's youth group building where the African intergeated church now resides...wonder if they're still there like in the back room.

Anyway mom spoiled twin more than all 4 of us to keep his mouth shut about her drug use after she told him,fought w/her alot whilst being spoiled at the same time while I cleaned & took care of the younger 2. While twin played video games I was screamed at with curse words & told to do everything for her except cook, traumatized the fk outta me. However paid me to play yazzi with her sometimes when she was high lol. Guys & friends going in & out of the place all the time, they didn't scare me...I learned to be very protective & wary. Misspent youth growing up early couldn't really be a kid so I'm sort of a kid still at ❤️ The group home drilled cleaning into me too 🫤 CindaBri over here. These days I'm very sensitive & am prone to crying since I was a kid. I don't do well with conflict, bullying, negativity of any kind I cannot tolerate. I have a huge heart despite how I grew up, I was a pushover & it took me a longtime to develop a backbone. I absolutely hate it when I'm mistreated, feels like I'm a punching bag for family to take it out on. Well hears something, I honestly do not give a flying rat's ass what they think about me or my mother. I am free from their controlling ways and I'm so grateful to God that he gave me the strength to sever ties on my own terms and not theirs instead. I'm allowed to do the same exact thing & cut people out of my life if its better for me & my health then that's what I'll do. Not because of hatred but because it's the right thing to do. As family oriented as I want to be it's just not possible for my family to get along and it's very sad & pathetic. I have to be able to heal from the trauma even more as I had the worst of it. now broken however beautiful 😊 Mostly independent & very strong/resilient 💪 I have Jesus to thank for saving my life more than I can count. Never learned to drive either to this day & always take the bus. I think I'm 10x slower, I work really hard & always burnt out.

Oh yeah here's the kicker, at 19 I started getting auditory & increasingly visual hallucinations ever since...i have a brilliant mind like I'm fkin Matilda after my trauma or some sh*t. I've been having de ja vu or precognitive dreams of my own life since I was a toddler, one of a week span smashed into 1 dream which was my strongest one while I wad a teenager. Lately I don't remember much of my dreams since late 2023 😓 my gifts keep growing though & I swear I hear passed on or alive family, friends, & even celebrities, & my calico cat of 15 yrs. Whatever it is I believe it's God given, but I don't know how to control it yet. Hallucinating i don't think so, cuz its contant noise for 16 years. Though I know demons can mimic too, they were doing it at the start making me lose my mind, so idk if I've been followed since or what. I use logic in everything, very self aware, I know I'm not crazy. Just cuz others don't experience what I am don't mean it's not real, it is to me. And I don't wanna suppress it either I want to develop whatever it is but for now I have to figure it out on my own. I'm usually very private about what I go through nobody knows this side of me, nor do they understand & just pass it off as (I'm crazy for having voices in my head, so the solution is to fill her with medication, watch her drool on her food & wander around aimlessly in a psych ward for 2 weeks. Later hospital visits were due to suicide attempts but swallowing a bottle of pills never worked. Well luckily who was to greet me at the start of this weird journey than the Queen herself, Mother Mary. She was there to ease my mind it's where I was supposed to be, when I 1st visited the hospital. See I dreamt of her weeks prior, the same scene...her portrait behind the desk where u sit to give blood for testing at the hospital here in Tucson...still there today. Blood is very significant to the story too.

I have an amazing longterm memory I do remember my own birth (that's a good story too) My mind has a lot of knowledge to use but may be overloaded now as I've recently been having issues...Its why I write to get things down & vent. I've hit my head too much & 2 hits have me concerned so I'm trying to get it checked as well as everything else...but refferals for tests are a B** to get. However I should just set a day to spend a whole day at the hospital cuz I know it'll be forever in the waiting room.

I was diagnosed with "paranoid schizophrenia" w/ depression & anxiety, ptsd or conflict sensitive. A lot of fam has mental issues it seems. Think I'm the only one diagnosed with mental illness but the eldest 2 boys should definitely get tested out for it too if they haven't seen a doctor already. There's alot of resentment from my family toward my mother cuz of her behavior in the past. As a God fearing woman I know better & choose to Honor my mom the best of my ability even if our relationship is strained, I know it's not her fault & it's the devil's work. She like my siblings are equally messed up by how our parents raised us, it's an viscous cycle of torture that needs to end, there's no love coming from most family & it makes me sick, family is supposed to stick together but we were left in the dust cuz they don't wanna deal with her. I believe the evil one has a grasp on people in many different ways, whether it be mental illness or hatred he causes havoc in everything he can, has a grasp on the people of earth. But the Father controls the universe, our story is prewritten & is a domino effect. My deja vu I've theorized it's like a time lapse of some kind, parallel universes...I have seen my reflection move without me, hope to God I haven't lived it already over & over that would be hell to me 🫤 Although never a dull moment that's for sure, oh if I could do it all over again ..... idk if I'd want to lol.

Fighting me on stuff & won't listen, u have to have the patience of a saint. Doesn't like being proven wrong, very stubborn, mixed w/bipolar..gets angry. She keeps comparing me to my grandma. Think she's more mentally fked up than I am from her past too but I'm no psychologist. Luckily I raised myself to be better than that in this gen, self aware, I use logic & understanding but do stupid sh*t sometimes lol especially when in love...I wanna break the cycle cuz it's a complete sh*t show. I don't want to be held back & torn down by family again & again just seems like even she doesn't care about me either sometimes, & I'm right back to being a little girl & being screamed or cursed at constantly. How do u heal in that either, theres nowhere else to go..wonder why didnt I want to come back from Vegas. I'd rather be where the action & adventure is lol. Nobody gets me or nobody understands what I've been through and I really want to tell my story because I am always attacked by family and sometimes friends for being too much of this, or too much of that, always shut down or put down. I understand people's opinion but I don't really take opinions as fact, I take facts as facts and what I go through in my mind is facts I don't need someone to tell me that I'm crazy or "off my meds" when I do take meds everyday, because it's an insult to my intelligence. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.

And today I came to a starting discovery.

Seems I may need to check my mom for Alzheimer's/Dementia, think it's worse than I thought. She keeps having fits/episodes of memory loss & blaming me for things, thinks I touched her phone to change it to dark mode today but it's been that way for a month or so already & didn't believe me. Wanna snap her out of it somehow. It's not a gypsy rose situation exactly I actually care I'm just annoyed & trying to get along with her, we do most of the time & we just have eachother when everyone else has seem to be wrapped up in their own lives and more concerned about gossip & lies. She's just mentally ill, like me. And a recovering addict and it's not her fault but nobody's fault but we're still made out to be the bad guys in some way. Idc. I would rather heal and try to heal from my broken past and leave it behind me. God removes people from their life so that you can hear him better, & I'd rather that than straight negativity sent to just hurt me. The devil seems to hate my ass I swear

How to heal from the past when she won't give u room to breathe, thought i was making progress w/her, keeps buying cigs & soda everytime she has stamps or money & when she's out hits me up for money, I just got my 1st check & I'm trying to save, says I can say no but then bitches at me. I honestly don't understand her sometimes. And after the cigs are gone she's crankier which makes things worse. All the cigs she's had over maybe 2 yrs she could've had a car by now & I'm working my butt off for one, & all the food is eaten while I'm gone. Tried clensing the apt but just made her angry, mental illness or demons I can't tell sometimes.

I'm so tired I haven't slept after work yesterday & need it for brain function but I had 3 hrs to sleep b4 church this morning so decided to stay up ..idk how long I've been up actually my eyes hurt, Have 2 hopefully benign tumors in my head & she's stressing me the fk out. Church or sleep, was actually a good day. Was trying to recap to her on what I did today & I just got ready for church this morning, when did I have time to touch her phone? But doesn't listen at all & always threatens to kick me out when she's incapable of being her by herself anymore. And depending on an hour to the next day she fine again & tells me to ignore her. Fking crazy. I already have memory issues wtf happena when we both lose our damn minds. I have the choice between doing laundry to get tf outta here or watch the rewards show & rest my eyes...Bed looks good rn actually 🥱😴

[unfinshedsentec]

hello can i have a headcanons of Chifuyu, Angry, Kazutora and Mitsuya with a Childhood gn! reader who is chubby before when they were a kid, when the boys meet childhood reader again they became slim.

hi love! Thank you so much for requesting! I apologize that this is so late, I’ve been surprisingly busy, so forgive me! Also, I accidentally mixed Smiley and Angry up so I’m so sorry for that😭

the tr boys when they meet their chubby! childhood crush again

per request reader is gender neutral!

character pairings: mitsuya, chifuyu, smiley, and kazutora x reader (seperate)

tw: mentions of bullying and self-harm, cursing, and self destructive behavior

Mitsuya

Mitsuya, in his true nature, was beyond kind from the moment you met, despite your looks.

You see, as a kid, you were a little chubby. Your classmates and siblings were always so nasty because of it, and that led to you to hating yourself. But even then, they didn’t stop bullying you

Mitsuya was the first person to ever be kind to you.

He helped you without hesitation. He immediately picked up on your odd behavior at the park and left his siblings with Hakkai while he went to go check up on you, only to see you attempting to hurt yourself. He immediately tackled you to the ground and as a stranger, gave you one of the best pep talks of your life.

From then on, the both of you were best friends. You often went over to his house to eat dinner, went to the park with him and his sisters, played with him and Hakkai, etc. Hell, you met Draken because you were so close.

Needless to say, you were best friends… and possibly a little more than that.

Unfortunately, just as you turned 11, your parents moved away to America, making you move too.

You obviously didn’t want to go, but you didn’t have much of a say in that. So, you moved to America with your family.

Of course, America was amazing, but you still really missed Japan, namely Mitsuya.

Sure, you guys texted a lot, but that’s certainly not the same thing as being with each other in person. Seeing Mitsuya was the only think you even wanted, but your parents refused to go back to Japan, so seeing Mitsuya seemed pretty impossible.

Well, you were lucky

Your school had an exchange-program opportunity, which gave you the chance to go back home to Tokyo. Without a thought, you signed for the program and now you were back in Japan, patiently waiting to be picked up by non-other than Mitsuya.

You weren’t expecting Mitsuya to immediately offer to pick you up at the airport, but he did, and well, that choice was much better than a Taxi. Obviously, you were now waiting in the entrance of the pickup area for the silver-haired male, who you saw nowhere.

…until you saw him standing right next to you.

“Mitsuya?!” you excitedly shouted, running up to him

“Oh hey y/-Y/N?!” Mitsuya shouted, absolutely flabbergasted.

…It seemed you had forgotten to tell your best friend about you new look, which he was obviously surprised with.

After all, he remembered you being pretty insecure and sad from the bullying over your chubbiness. You were pretty dull and never really smiled. Now, you were extremely bright, happy, fit, and glowing. Seriously, you looked like a model.

It was only natural that Mitsuya lost his shit when he saw that.

“Wha-uh…. you’ve ummm….I-uh huh?” he barely muttered out.

“What?”

“Y-you..fuck…I don’t know what to say”

“Pardon?”

“Y-you’ve…um changed hahaha”

“Yeah! I grew into my baby fat, didn’t I!”

Poor Mitsuya was too stunned to speak, and he pretty much stayed like that for god knows how long.

Maybe one day he’ll recover…. and accept his little crush on you.

 Chifuyu

As kids, you and Chifuyu were always very close. You guys were practically stuck at the hip, and never left each other’s side. I mean, you both had a huge love for cats and having that in common pretty much bonded you immedtalty.

After all he’s got a cat himself, he feeds cats, pets strays, etc. Hell, he brings a new cat home every day, because he loves them so much.

Of course, you do the same thing, so when you both met while chasing after cats, you both instantly clicked.

“Hey you! What are you doing?!” you yelled when you saw another little boy chasing your cat.

“Huh?! I’m looking for a kitty to bring home!” he replied, approaching and angry you, only to see a huge smile suddenly appear on you face.

“You were looking for kitties too?!”

“ Of course I am! I love kittes!”

“I love kitties too!”

“Yay!! We’re gonna be best friends!”

From that day on, you and Chifuyu both ended up becoming best friends. You saw and played with each other every day, and even went searching for cats too! You just really bonded over that, and things just sort’ve soared from there.

Well, that and the fact that Chifuyu was your first friend.

He was the first to ever be kind to you, let alone be your friend. He really gave you the confidence you needed and showed how to be a happy little kid. It was only natural that you stuck with him.

Soon enough, you had a crush on him. It also just so happened that he had one on you, as you were the first person to give support him. Hell, you even called him your hero!

Unfortunately, as you got older and went to different schools, you distanced. Before you knew it, you were only talking to him once a month, and then once a year, and then, never again.

It was a sad loss, and you of course missed your ex-best friend. But that sort’ve thing just happens when you get older. You end up becoming your own people, and you just drift apart. Though, Chifuyu did enter your mind every once in a while, and when he did, you wished to meet him again.

Well, that wish ended up becoming true on your birthday.

Your 16th birthday was a big thing that you planned on celebrating with a lot of people and doing a lot of fun things. Unfortunately, when your 16th rolled around, the pandemic started so you were stuck at home extremely disappointed to not have your dream birthday.

It was just a depressing day that got more and more depressing as the day continued. Sure, opening presents and watching movies was amazing, but it wasn’t really the excitement you had hoped for. It was just a disappointing day.

Well, that was until your Mom told you she a had a surprise.

Curiously, you sat up and questioned what it was, only to end up being face-to-face with the one and only Chifuyu Matsuno.

Chifuyu simply stood there, with his mouth wide open and his eyes practically bulging out of his head. You, too, stood there shocked until you snapped out of it and gave the extremely shocked Chifuyu a hug.

Of course, Chifuyu was too stunned to hug you back. Immediately, you pulled away thinking you made him uncomfortable, only to see a bright pink hue covering Chifuyu’s cheeks.

“Chifuyu? You, okay?”

“……..”

“Chifuyu?!”

“…Oh! Uh, y-yeah! I’m alright, just a little shocked a-at how much you’ve changed!”

It was only then that you remembered that you had changed a lot since you had last seen Chifuyu. Physically, you had grown into your features as we all do, but you also changed in the weight department.

When you turned age 13, you got the motivation to lose weight, so you worked out and watched your calories, which naturally led you to losing some weight.

While your weight loss was a huge part of your glow-up, it was also something that often excited your mind, just as it had with poor Chifuyu.

“Oh yeah! I guess I did lose some weight!” you replied, chuckling. Unfortunately, it seemed that Chifuyu had changed too …because he certainly wasn’t making it much of a secret that he was straring at your body.

Of course, you got pissed….and well

*slap*

“Watch your eyes Matsuno!”

“Hahaha, sorryyyy”

From that day on, you and Chifuyu became friends once again. You often hung out, and simply enjoyed being with each other, which was amazing.

Of course, Chifuyu was a bit of pervert, and loved looking where he wasn’t supposed to, which he got a slap for, but other than, everything was well!

If only you knew about Chifuyu’s little crush on you~

Smiley

Smiley over here, is by far the most aggressive person in Toman.

He loves beating up people, he loves hearing their screams, and overall, loves the thrill of a fight. He also just so happened to be that way as a kid, especially toward bullies.

Well as a kid, you were constantly bullied for your weight, which hurt you in unimageable ways. Kids would bully you no matter what anybody would say or do. They’d only ever stop when you got on your knees and begged for them to stop.

It also just so happened that one day, when you were doing Smiley was doing his daily walk home, that he saw you, on your knees crying, begging for a pair of bullies to stop.

He couldn’t help but feel rage as he watched them kick you more and more, despite your cries. It wasn’t long after that, that he marched right towards the bullies…and let’s just say they were taught one hell of a lesson.

After the bullies pissed their pants from Smiley’s beatings, Smiley approached you, who shook in fear.

“Hi! I’m Smiley! Wanna be friends?”

“H-huh? Are you being serious?”

“Yeah! I swear I’ll protect you!”

Hesitantly, you looked up at him, not believing him at all. But when you looked at him, you couldn’t help but feel comforted.

It was only natural that you said yes after that.

From that day on, You and Smiley became absolute best friends. If anything, you were his only friends, and his yours. You were the first person who ever stayed by his side, despite his violent natures, and he was the first person who didn’t judge you for your weight.

He saw you as you, and if it wasn’t for that, you wouldn’t be where you are today.

Unfortunately, after Smiley got into gangs and brawls, your parents no longer approved of him, and forced you to move on without him. That hurt you much more than any bullying you ever got, but you did’nt really have a say anymore, so you obeyed them, despite how much it hurt.

You didn’t see Smiley after that. You lost all contact, and never heard from him again…until your first day of high school.

As you were casually walking around, searching for your first class, you happened to see a familiar poof of peach hair. At first you didn’t believe it was your childhood friend, but you still curiously followed him to be sure, only to see it really was SMILEY.

Without a thought, you ran up to the familiar man and gave him a hug behind.

“Smiley!” you sniffled. “It’s been so long!”

“Huh?! Who is the fuck hugging me?!”

“It’s me Y/n!”

Immediately, Smiley turned around from shock…. but he sure didn’t get what he expected.

You looked very different. Of course, you grew quite a lot and matured mentally and physically, but you also changed in the…. weight department.

You looked very slim. If anything, you were quite built compared to before, and boy were you hot.

Of course, as much as Smiley wanted it to be you, he didn’t believe it…. mainly because you did look so different.

“What?! You’re not Y/n!”

“Huh? I mean sure, I lost some weight but it’s still me! We met when you saved at the park, remember?”

He just stood there wide eyed, staring at you.

Seriously he was so shocked that he couldn’t bring himself to move.

“...Smiley?”

“…..”

“Smiley?”

“….”

“Take your time love”

Smiley shat himself after you called him love.

Needless to say, it took him a bit to come back to his senses….and trust me when I say he made sure to simp for you when he did.

 Kazutora

Kazutora, unlike the other guys, met you not from comforting you, but from you comforting him

You see, Kazutora having been abused really needed some support. He was all alone and sad in the world. He had no true friends at the time, his classmates were ignorant, and his family was horrible.

He, even as a little 6-year-old, was completely alone, until you came up to him after seeing how sad he was .

Of course, he wasn’t really fond of you at first but after your persistence, Kazutora gave in and opened up to you.

After hearing his horrible life, you immediately offered to be his friend.

“I don’t really understand what that feels like, but people are really mean to me because of my weight… We should be each other’s first friends!”

“….really?”

“Yeah!

“…alright, we’ll be friends”

From that day on, you and Kazutora were best friends

You stood by each other and were each other’s only friends. You were the only happy thing in his childhood, and he was the only thing happy in yours, especially since he was the first person to ever not judge you for your size.

Well, and he was the first person to ever love you.

Unfortunately, your friendship fizzled when Kazutora moved after his parents’ divorce. You ended up losing touch, and you both got new friends

You just never saw each other again after age 10. Well, that was until Kazutora randomly showed up to your middle school.

That’s right, in the middle of your 3rd year, Kazutora just randomly showed up to your school.

While he was very hard to recognize with his new tattoo and haircut, it was still your Kazutora, and you immediately ran up to him.

Of course, it didn’t really enter your mind that you too, had changed a lot over the years, more so in the weight department.

Since you last saw Kazutora, you started to work out in determination to lose weight. And well, you lost a good about of it. Not to mention you really growing into your features. Overall, you looked like a much different person, and boy were you hot.

You guessed Kazutora just didn’t recognize because of this, considering he had a twisted look on his face when you ran up to him.

“Kazutora! Kazutora! It’s been so long!”

“Huh? Who the hell are you?”

“Y/n! The one from your childhood!”

Kazutora’s jaw instantly dropped after you said that you were the same Y/n from his childhood. After all, you looked completely different. The only similarity there was your smile.

Needless to say, Kazutora barely believed it was actually you. If it wasn’t for you having the same smile, he wouldn’t have believed it.

Unfortunately, he was still shocked, so he wasn’t able to say anything in return.

“Kazutora? Are you okay? Kazutora?”

Nothing. Kazutora said or did nothing except widen his mouth more, so much so that a fly even flew in there.

Poor Kazutora ended up staying like that for the next hour, until you offered him some ice cream to catch up.

You’re pretty damn lucky he loves ice cream…otherwise, he never would’ve recovered.

//end!

[victoria1676]

If the 3 kids who have passed are with Mumza cause screw Celestia-, then what if Wilbur can visit Mumza because limbo just sucks in general and is just surprise with the sudden appearance of 3 kids.

Now what if he starts to hang out with them because it reminds him of Techno, Tommy, & Reader when they were kids-

This is probably just a personal headcannon cause I'm OBSESSED with sibling reconciliation.

- Gingko Anon

A Brother’s Lament 

Summary: What if C!Wilbur meets the people of Teyvat who died and sided with his Twin Sister?  What if C!Wilbur got out of his limbo and meets his Mom? 

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WARNINGS: ANGST, MENTIONS OF MANIPULATION, MENTIONS OF CHARACTERS DYING AND SPOILERS OF THE DREAM SMP PLOT AND READER”S PAST WITH THE SBI AND DREAM SMP!

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Note: SORRY THIS TOKE SO LONG TO FINISH BUT I COULDN'T HELP BUT TRY TO MAKE THIS A SHOT TWT

FORGIVE ME IF I MISSED SOMETHING IN THE LORE IT HAS BEEN A WHILE AND IM TRYING TO REMEMBER SOME OF IT AND I HOPE I GOT C WILBUR PERSONALITY CORRECT TWT

BUT THIS STORY IS UNFORTUNELY NOT CANON BECAUSE THIS IS JUST A WHAT IF ONESHOT SO I APOLOGIZE TWT

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(A bit spoilers from Reader's past or this is center around C!Wilbur 👇Sorry if I made Wilbur OOC I tried my best to make him in character TwT However there are spoilers from the Dream smp Lore and I made up a bit of Mumza’s lore since I wasn’t able to get all her lore so sorry DMSP/MCYT FANS! TAT)

Seconds.

Minutes.

Hours.

Days.

Weeks.

Months.

Years.

God, Wilbur doesn’t even know how long he has been stuck in the Jubilee Limbo Train. He had told his father to stab him, leaving many broken hearts with his death. Among those with broken hearts were his younger brother Tommy, twin-king Technoblade, and his only sister (Y/N). No matter how many times Wilbur tries to find a way out of the limbo, he always finds himself back on the train, or in its waiting area. He bashed his head on the walls, punched the floor, and the walls, and even resorted to scratching it. Nothing came of it, earning screams from him until his throat went sore, his lungs begging for more air. Wilbur did so many things to get out, but nothing changed.

He was forever stuck in the limbo that he has.

Wilbur chuckled tiredly, leaning against the pillars. His brown hair becomes messier even underneath his beanie, his eyes are puffy but his previously sore throat is healed, but that should hardly matter when he’ll end up crying out again. Wilbur wished he could drink, but the subway didn’t have any available. The only thing they had were dark silhouettes, nobodies. He sighed, rubbing his eyes before picking up his guitar. Being the only person, the only corporeal entity in the room felt calming in its own right, but at the same time, it was unnerving. A bit of music would help. As he prepares to play, memories flood his thoughts as a melody rings in the air.

---------------------------------------------------------

“Wilby?”

Wilbur stops his actions, looking over to see his sister returning his gaze as she hugs a crow doll close to her. “Dad’s asking if you want any snacks. He and Techno brought a lot from the hunt.” Wilbur bites the inside of his cheek, refraining from bursting into rage towards his sister. His father is once again playing favorites, and it’s obvious just who it is.

Why does Techno get to go? What about me? Or (Y/N)?

He snaps back to reality. “S-Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts.” You hummed, walking towards him when a question came to mind. 

Wilbur plays his guitar, testing out different tunes before abruptly stopping once you asked him out loud. “Are you jealous of Techno?” Wilbur stutters in his response. “W-What do you mean?! Uh-” He quickly looks towards you, flabbergasted. “You look at Techno weirdly and pick fights with him.” you bluntly responded. Wilbur is your brother, he knows you well. The curiosity of a child can only lead them so far and bring them responses that may not satisfy them in the least.

“Why do you wanna know anyway?” He asked her. You shrugged. “Just curious, considering you are the type to get jealous if none of us gave you attention.”

“I don’t get jealous.” He says back to you. You huffed in response. “Yes, you are! You didn’t like it when Techno was playing with me or sparring.” Wilbur turned red before looking away, eliciting a snicker from you. The silence taking hold of the room blends with your soft humming, a lullaby sung by their mother in the comfort of their home. Their mother hasn’t been joining her husband out hunting, let alone leaving her room for a long period of time. Her pregnancy restricted her and kept her from doing what she used to do. 

“If I say no?”

“Then you are a liar. Simple as that.” 

You earn nothing but a sigh from your brother until he asks: “If I say yes?” You looked at him, staring in contemplation and processing the question before breaking into a sprint. The look of shock and excitement on her face evidently made Wilbur leap from his spot. “Dad! Wilbur is jealous of Techno!” You yelled out, your older brother on your trail. 

“I’m not! Don’t say that, (Y/N)!” 

---------------------------------------------------------

A wonderful family can only last so long in a world like this. The first rift caused the family to crumble to the moment Kristen succumbed to an illness cursed upon her. Such silence had taken over the once happy and lively household.

---------------------------------------------------------

“Will, what the hell was that?”

Wilbur groaned, turning around and seeing you stand there, arms folded on your chest. Your wings are tucked under your cape, staring at him with cold eyes and with your hat nowhere to be found. It’s probably with Tommy. Speaking of Tommy, older brother hunch only tells him one thing in the absence of your hat: your feelings. 

He knows how much you love Tommy and he knows you are aware of what he did to his little brother.

“Looks like someone has their-” 

“I’m not here to banter.” You glared at him.

“Here comes the overprotective (Y/N), come to protect-”

 ”Wilbur Minecraft!” Your voice echoes into the darkness of the night. 

Pogtopia remains asleep. Everyone is too busy enjoying the comforts of their homes before beginning a siege to reclaim L’manburg under Schlatt’s reign. After receiving Tommy’s letter, you met up with Techno to gather your brother and together find out what is happening to Dream SMP. Slapping the back of Wilbur’s and Techno’s heads for their behaviors and the antics that had led them to where they were before this moment.

“Are you seriously gonna manipulate Tommy into joining war a-”

“Stop babying him! I know what I am doing. I don’t need you to tell me of my wrongdoings-”

“This isn’t about Tommy.” 

“Yes, I know that it isn't Tommy but to bring my L’Manburg back from that bastard Schlatt!!” Wilbur stepped towards you with his eyes that looked tired yet now it was filled with madness.

Stop worrying about Tommy and worry about me.

“So stop babying him! Tommy isn't a little kid anyone” Wilbur yelled at you.

You did not expect your brother to suddenly shout at you when you just want to know what lost his mind to suddenly be Dream’s vassal and also say such things to Tommy. 

You are just worrying as a sister. 

Did I do something wrong? 

“I’m not babying him!?” You told him back, “I’m legit worried-”

“STOP WORRYING ABOUT US WHEN YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT L’MANBURG?! WHY DID YOU EVEN AGREE TO JOIN WHEN YOU COULD STAY IN THAT SERVER OF PEOPLE WHO TAUGHT YOU TO BUILD SHIT!!” Your eyes widened at Wilbur's exclamation as he started panting from all the shouting he gave you.

This was the first time you saw him this angry and suddenly he didn't want you to be here and only wanted Techno?

That stings. 

But what you guys didn't realize was that someone was watching you guys with one of your chat perches on their shoulder that looked sad and started whispering to that person who was waiting for the moment to step in. Another person beside them started shaking in anger seeing the scene

“We only wanted Technoblade '' He cruelly stated to you before turning around. “If you are not here to help then leave”

“Wil-”

“I don't need a sister who still keeps trying to repair our family. I need someone to help me get back L'Manburg”

“…”

He started walking away and then rapid footsteps behind him followed but he didn't turn around only when he felt his shoulder pulling him and was forced to turn around he felt his face in pain. 

You gasped seeing a familiar person who beated you from slapping Wilbur to punching him. 

It was Tommy. 

He punched Wilbur.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT WILBUR?!”

The brunette staggered back in surprise that he was not punched by you instead he was punched by his little brother Tommy. 

“YOU SAID WE BRING REINFORCEMENTS AND THAT'S BIG (First name initial) AND THE BLADE!?” The blond teen yelled at him in anger, “AND NOW YOU DON'T WANT HER IN POGTOPIA?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!”

You held Tommy back as you could hear the chat chanting ‘Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight’ or hell even the voices in your head started chanting for blood and cheering for Tommy to ‘fuck up Wilbur’

You seriously didn't expect Tommy to be awake and thought he was sleeping.

Dammit, maybe you should have shouted…

“Tommy calm down” You try to tell the blond teen who struggled against your grip.

“I WILL NOT CALM DOWN NOT UNTIL THAT BASTARD APOLOGIZES TO YOU!!”

Tommy kept spewing profanities to Wilbur who held his cheek and another person decided to step in. 

“You guys seriously are still up at this hour?”

You blinked and turned around and saw a tired Technoblade eating his baked potatoes that he made from staying up in his potato farming. He didn't have his mask on as you could see his face with his bright blood-tired red eyes, a scar on his bottom lip, and pink hair that was tied into a ponytail with his crown still on him. 

Don't tell me he was up and saw this happen the whole time?!

“Techno you still up farming at this hour again?” You asked, “Didn't we tell you to sleep instead of farming potatoes? We got enough potatoes for all of us to survive”

“Can't blame after I just finished doing a potato farming tournament” Technoblade said, making you snort recalling that hilarious potato war tournament.

“I thought you were over that” You looked at him with a deadpan expression.

The Pigling hybrid shrugged before looking at Wilbur who still didn't move but still held his bruised cheek. 

“You should go and rest Wilbur,” Techno said, “Lashing out on (Y/n) will hurt both of you”

“…”

The brunette didn't say anything but turned around and went to the area where he would sleep ignoring Tommy yelling at him but then the blond teen was held back by you. Techno on the other hand awkwardly comforted you by patting your head and rubbing your back slowly as you try to calm Tommy down.

Although Wilbur was walking away from his family he still heard your last words of what he said before he was farther away from them. 

“Did I lose my second brother Techno? Am I a bad sister?”

A part of Wilbur hissed at him in anger for yelling at his sister but he ignored it. 

All he wanted was to get L'Manburg back. 

And then he will apologize soon to her after all this mess. 

---------------------------------------------------------

In the end, he never did and forced his own Father to kill him and fell to his death while he lay cold in his sister's arms who screamed and cried about his death.

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He let out a small laugh that held pain remembering he lashed out at you as he covered his face.

“I failed Tommy...I failed Fundy and Sally...I failed (Y/n)...And also failed Mom...”

“Wilby!” You cling to him, “Let’s play in the sand!”

I’m sorry sister.

You looked at him with a hurtful expression when he told you that he only wanted to invite Techno to help the.

I didn't mean to hurt you. 

I'm sorry.

The last thing he remembered before he succumbed to his death was you screaming his name. 

"WILBUR!!"

I'm sorry. 

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“God I need something to take my mind off those depressing shit…”

Wilbur then decided to play a familiar song that was forever something he will bring with him until the end. 

A song he created about his wonderful nation.

🎶 ~Well, I've heard there was a special place,

where men could go and emancipate

the brutality and the tyranny of their rulers.

Well, this place is real, we needn't fret,

with Fundy, Tommy, Tubbo, and fuck Eret,

It's a very big and not blown-up L'Manberg.

My L'Manberg

My L'Manberg

My L'Manberg

My L'Manberg~ 🎶

He sighed as he finished his short song. He was about to tuck away his guitar and about to get on the train again when-

CLAP!

CLAP!

CLAP!

“Wow! That's a good song you sang mister! !”

Wilbur froze along feeling his breath hitch, hearing another unknown voice that he didn’t recognize and he thought he was the only one on the Jubilee line train. He whipped around and saw a boy who looked like he would be around Tommy’s age when he last saw him being killed by Phil dying and finding himself alone in his limbo. But now seeing someone who he didn't recognize made his whole world freeze. 

The boy is a slim yet well-built young man who is often covered in scars due to his various misadventures. He has pale ash-grey hair, light tan skin, and bright green eyes with his goggles on his head. He has a prominent scar on his left shoulder and seems to be perpetually injured. A cuffed navy shorts and a sleeveless cream-colored jacket with blue and gold details, a leather belt, a bag that looked like a...red glowing keychain attached to it??? with gloves, and a yellow bandanna tied around his right arm.

The way the boy looked at him reminded him of his energetic little brother Tommy.

“Man I didn’t expect to find someone in this limbo,” The boy said while rubbing his head sheepishly.

“Lady Kristin said no one would be here but I didn't expect to find you here mister!”

Kristin?

A familiar woman that had the same hair as him with a smile that his sister had flashed in his mind. 

‘But that can't be?! Mom died’ Wilbur thought knowing he last saw his mother when he was young. 

“H-Hello” The brunette greeted the boy with a slight crack and shutter on his voice.

“W-Who-uh-I-um-”

He continued to shutter and was speechless with relief and confusion that he wasn't alone anymore in his Jubilee limbo after seeing this strange kid. Who looked at him in confusion.

“Hey-”

“Bennett there you are!”

Wilbur flinched when he saw two more people running towards the boy named Bennett. The first person had dark, indigo-black hair cut in a bob-like fashion at the front with thick bangs swept to one side by a golden hair clip with a paw motif, the rest braided in a looped bow-like updo at the back of her head resembling panda ears when viewed from the front, fastened with a small red ribbon. She has golden eyes, a pale complexion, and a perpetual smile on her face.

A brown and gold leotard with red ribbons in the front and back, the back being larger and holding a bell. She wears a gold belt, that holds the strange glowing item that was similar to Bennett. Additionally, the girl wears brown fingerless gloves and boots, as well as a braided red ribbon around her left thigh and right arm and adhesive bandages crossed in an ‘X’ on her right knee. Beside her was a moving animal that looked like a panda but in a different color.

The second person is a boy with long, spiky grey hair; bright red eyes; and pale skin. Another strange item looked similar to the two teens except it was purple. He has several scars on his body, including one on his left cheek and several on his arms which raised several questions to the brunette yet he can’t ask especially since he realized has now seen three people in the limbo.

Only he also realized both of these people are the same age as Tommy and was now wondering what caused these teens to be in his limbo?

He dreaded imagining if Tommy gets into his limbo.

“Oh! Hey Xiangling, Razor, and Guoba” Bennett greeted his companions.

“Lady Kristin has been worried sick that she wasn’t able to see you!” Xiangling said.

Guoba looked behind Xiangling and saw a flabbergasted Wilbur before walking towards him with interest. The fact this man looks very similar to a certain winged creator he met before he and Xiangling met their end along with several others for trying to help or side with the true creator that was deemed as an imposter under the word of the true or rather false creator.

“Lupical’s mother told Razor and XiangLing to look for you,” Razor said. 

Bennett chuckled as he placed his hand behind his head sheepishly, “Hehe sorry…”

“Um…”

The three turned around to look at Wilbur who was looking at them confused but also petting Guoba who looked very happy being petted. The fact he has no idea who these teens are and them mentioning his mother's name caused a lot more questions that the brunette didn't know, especially because he thought he was the only trap in this Jubilee Limbo Train for years. 

“Woah?!” XiangLing leaned back in shock that she didn't realize Wilbur was there the whole time however she was confused why this man looked like you.

Razor sniffed and looked at Wilbur, “You smell…Lupical? No, your scent…is similar to Lupical”

“Wait! Are you Wilbur soot?” XiangLing said after she just remembered you saying that you have two twin brothers one being full human just like her little brother while the other is a hybrid like you except your other twin brother is a Piglin hybrid.

Wilbur’s eyes widened on hearing his name out from the female teen, “Y-You know me?”

“So you are him!” Bennett smiled as he quickly walked up to Wilbur, “My name's Bennett and these people who are looking for me are Razor and XiangLing!”

“Nice to meet you!” XiangLing waved.

“Hello” Razor greeted.

“N-Nice to meet you…” Wilbur said before asking them, “How d-do you know me?” 

“Oh wow! Big sister (Y/n) talked about her family a lot when we first met her! She also mentioned that she lost a brother who died from destroying their own nation they build” Bennett explained only to find the brunette flinching at hearing the explanation.

“Y-You knows my sister,” Wilbur said. 

The last time he saw you was when L'Manburg was destroyed and he doesn't recall you talking to these teens before. Just as he was about to ask them he was stopped by a-

“There you are!”

A voice shouted at them as all of them turned to the left and saw a portal with a person who seemed to be a child was the one who shouted at them. The child was a girl and wore an outfit that Wilbur doesn’t even recognize other than it looked like a raccoon outfit.

“Miss Kristin has been looking for you!” She said, “She was tempted to bring our her own crows to look for you guys!”

“Whoops! It the search for Bennett was long” Xiangling sheepishly rubbed the back of her head.

“Sorry…” Bennett apologized and looked down.

“It’s fine! We were just worried for you remember” Xiangling informed him.

“Let’s go,” Razor said before he ran to the portal with Xiangling who nodded, and Guoba as well.

Bennett was about to leave when he saw the look of sadness from Wilbur before grabbing the brunette’s hand startling Wilbur who looked at him in confusion.

“Come with us!” Bennett said, “Miss Kristin will be happy to meet you again and you won't be alone in this strange place anymore!”

Those words made Wilbur speechless who glanced behind him to see the train driving away from him and finally made his decision. He grabbed his guitar case and let a happy Bennett drag him to the portal. The two of them walked to the portal and once they did the portal disappeared like it was never there as the train stopped to get more black silhouette figures inside and out. It then drove away and what was left of Wilbur in the Jubliee line train is no more.

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Elsewhere a certain green god felt a disturbance of the limbo where Wilbur is currently before deciding to check it later and help George with his building.

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“Hey, I’m back!”

Wilbur watched Bennett run to his friends as he stood still watching them. There were more Adults, teens, and children here in this strange place that resembled the underworld that his brother Techno talked about in his books despite it being supposed to be a myth where it belong to the Goddess of Death Wilbur knew he is in the underworld, especially he sees souls flying around, spirits walking or floating by but what also stood different in the underworld was the flowers that he swore it was his mother’s favorite. He wasn’t the type to assume things easily knowing he last saw his mother back when he was still young and there was no way his mother is in the underworld.

Especially he doesn’t believe his mother is the goddess of death…

“Geez Bennett…I can’t believe you disappear in one of Lady Kristin’s portals” One of the teens asked Bennett who just chuckled.

“But where were you, Bennett?” One of the adults asked him, “Lady Kristin is getting her tea for all of us and some other drinks as well after we told her we found you”

“Oh yeah!” Bennett started grinning as he then ran to Wilbur who walked backward once he saw everyone’s attention on him.

“Uh-”

“I found Big sister (Y/n)’s, brother!” The ash-grey-haired teen declared, “He was playing music on some kind of platform with a moving vehicle that brings people in and out”

Just like that Wilbur felt himself sweating at the attention and gasping around everyone. Whispers and conversations went from one person to another as everyone looked at the brunette that was shifting from side to side in confusion. He looked at Bennett who smiled at him which Wilbur gave it back only then did everyone stop talking as Wilbur heard footsteps behind him. He was about to turn around when-

“Wilbur?”

He froze.

A voice he thought he wouldn’t hear again anymore.

The same voice he would never hear from his mother who had died when he was young.

“Wilbur”

He looked at his mother as he passed his new baby brother in his arms while his sister stared at him like a hawk.

“Meet your baby brother” Kristin smiled at him despite looking tired.

“Don’t drop him dumbass…” He heard his sister’s mutter making his eyes roll as he heard you yelp in pain.

“Language Dear” Kristin scolded and he could hear you huffing before muttering ‘sorry’ and then went back to watch Wilbur like a hawk.

No… 

“Miss Kristin!” Bennett exclaimed and everyone began greeting the person behind him.

“Oh Lady Death is back!”

“Mumza!”

“Welcome back Lady Kristin!”

It can’t be-

“Is that you my son?” The voice behind Wilbur asked.

The brunette turned around and at that moment he had never in his whole life felt his body going ridged and tired as he felt a lump on his throat and heart clenching at the sight of a familiar woman he had thought he would never see again.

In front of him was a woman with long brown hair that is the same shade of brown as his hair, brown warm eyes that are filled with love that he always remember seeing her with back when he was young but her eyes were covered by a black veil that was from the hat that resembled like his sister’s hat except the woman’s hat had flowers in the hat. She wore beautiful black long dress with her nails polished in black and black shoes to finish it. He also noticed the woman also had black makeup on her despite the veil covering it.

How does he know this woman?

“M-mom…” Wilbur spoke with his voice sounding cracked and hoarse like he hadn’t drank or eaten any food.

His mother.

Kristin started smiling and passed the tray of drinks to a boy with an odd dark blue haircut before opening her arms like a hug at Wilbur who looked like he wanted to collapse.

“You have grown my son”

That made the brunette drop his guitar case and run towards the arms of his own mother who then caught him with her hat falling over and she hugged one of her sons whom she never thought she would meet again. Yet here she is hugging her second oldest son who started shaking as she could feel the wetness of her shoulder which she didn’t mind and started rubbing Wilbur’s back.

“I’m happy to see you, Wilbur,” She said with love.

The scene of them hugging flashed to Kristin who was still a human and was hugging a crying Wilbur and (Y/n) as baby Tommy slept soundly not aware of what has happened to his mother.

Wilbur couldn’t stop crying and kept hugging his mother. 

For once he felt like a kid again. 

He felt like he was back home.

Where he didn’t create a nation and just home in his mother’s arms and his family being together and not broken.

Shesaliveshesaliveshesaliveshesaliveshesaliveshesalive

“M-Mom..!” He spoke.

His mother cooed and rubbed his back as everyone looked at them in happiness while some also cried. Others were confused while some are happy to see the reunion.

“I-I…I m-miss you..!” Wilbur sniffed as he felt more tears coming down his eyes as his mother comforted him.

“I miss you too baby” She replied with a warm voice that he always heard as a child.

“Wilbur” Kristin looked at her son who was crying.

She cradled her son’s cheek as Wilbur looked at her with tears stained on his dirty yet bruised face that he got from sparring with Techno.

“Why are you crying?” She asked with a worried look and a small smile.

It took minutes before the mother and son finished their hug and Wilbur began to ask his mother something.

“H-How are y-you here?” He asked.

Kristin cradle her son’s cheek and look at the people behind them as adults carefully bring the teens and children away from the duo for privacy she then looked at her son who held her hand with his one rough hand.

“Let me show you something,” She said.

Wilbur let his mother take him somewhere that no soul or spirit knows but only Kristin knows where she is taking her son.

---------------------------------------------------------

The room that Wilbur stood in is full of darkness except there was a table that had two candles, a Chandelier above, and flowers that are the favorite of his mother but what caught his attention was there are four mirrors and one cracked mirror in the darkroom as Kristin who suddenly summoned tea on the table where she as she told her son to sit down which he did.

“W-What is this room,” Wilbur asked unsurely this strange dark room his mother brought him to.

“A room where I would stay and watch over as the Goddess of death except this room is only for our family”

“What?”

Kristin merely smiled at the still confusion on her son’s face before standing up and beckoning Wilbur to look at them, “See for yourself son”

Wilbur did before looking at that one cracked mirror which his mother shook her head and decided not to ask about it as he then let out a gasp when saw what was in the mirrors.

The First mirror showed Philza petting some dogs and feeding them.

The second mirror showed Techno farming the potatoes that looked like it was built by their sister considering they looked very unique.

The third mirror made Wilbur have a lump on his throat seeing his baby brother Tommy arguing with Tubbo about something and beside Tubbo was a tall man who was taller than Philza almost like an endermen except with a suit and a crown looking very done with the two best friends arguing.

The fourth mirror.

“You are seriously one obsessed Redstone junky Rubedo”

“At least I’m doing something other than paperwork”

“Fuck you bastard”

“Language dear~”

“...Did you just-”

Wilbur felt tears falling in his eyes as he then placed his hand on the mirror watching the fourth mirror that shows his sister arguing with a young man with bright teal eyes with three dots in his iris and pale skin. He has ashy light brown hair that was tied in a ponytail as his expression held a teasing look and a smirk that made you look pissed at him as the brunette could see your wings ruffled in annoyance.

“(Y/n)...”

Kristin saw her son crying and went towards him with another hug as Wilbur despite his crying and looking sad he looked relieved and happy seeing you and his family doing well, especially Tommy and you.

Silence filled the room other than Wilbur’s sobs and Kristin’s low humming.

“I miss you guys…”

---------------------------------------------------------

Rubedo blinked when he noticed something on your face.

“(Y/n)...” He said making you stare at him, “Your…crying?”

“Huh?”

He was right as you then felt tears falling on your cheeks as you then placed your hand on your right cheek feeling more tears falling down.

“W-What??”

“...”

Rubedo didn’t say anything as he watched you try to wipe the tears away but they kept coming.

“W-Why am I..?”

The chat was silent as they do not know what is happening to you however they are respectful of your situation. Rubedo walked to the left side of your desk and began hugging you to which you let him as you try to wipe the tears away.

But why are you starting to sob and why is your heart feeling pain?

---------------------------------------------------------

“Tommy?” Tubbo looked at his best friend in confusion seeing the tears.

“Wha-..”

Tommy felt his tears and looked very confused yet he doesn’t know why his heart was hurting.

Both Tubbo and Ranboo watched the blond teen wiping his tears that kept coming as they both hugged him.

---------------------------------------------------------

“Hmm?”

“Huh?’

Philza and Techno felt their own tears as well however Techno removed his mask and looked at the nearby mirror from the barn his sister made for him and saw the tears while Philza just stared at his tears in confusion ignoring his chat going silent or making fun of him crying.

---------------------------------------------------------

The Minecraft Family Didn’t know why they all felt themselves crying however one thing they know is that.

They felt like they lost someone

And that someone they knew was crying for them.

---------------------------------------------------------

Wilbur cried and cried as he hugged his mother as he clutched her like she thought he was gonna disappear yet Kristin didn’t and continued hugging her son who couldn’t stop crying.

“I’m sorry…”

“I miss you all...”

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ICOXKNXUENDIQJN J

FINALLY FINISHED AND YES ITS PAST MIDNIGHT HERE BUT IT WAS WORTH FINISHING!!!!!

I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THIS!!

I APOLOGIZED FOR THOSE WHO DIDN’T LIKE THE WAY WILBUR ACTED ON THIS BUT I TRIED MY BEST TO CAPTURE HIS CHARACTER PROPERLY TWT

GINGKO ANON I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS REQUEST AND I REALLY HOPE I GAVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED BUT IN A DIFFERENT WAY TWT

I ALSO THANK MY OLD CLASSMATE FOR PROOFREADING THIS AND ADDING OR CHANGING SOME STUFF ON THIS ONE-SHOT!

FORGIVE ME IF THIS WAS TO CHEESY OR NOT SAD ENOUGH I TRIED MY BEST TO CAPTURE THE FEELS DX

SONG INSPIRED TO MAKE THIS: 👇

ANYWAYS IMMA SLEEP AND CHECK BACK AT THIS ONESHOT TOMORROW!!

GOODNIGHT!!

[ootori-sibs]

Put a blade to my neck and call it a collar

Chapter three

Tw posion

Receiving treatment for the cyanide, Kyoya had a lot of time to think about what had happened. He'd been poisoned, it had clearly been an attempt on his life but he simply hadn't had enough for it to kick in before he could receive treatment. He'd had to bribe the doctors to make sure no one told his father what had happened, unfortunately he hadn't expanded that of course this included not telling any of his siblings either.

"Kyoya!" The call came as Kyoya's eldest brother entered the room, looking very concerned.

Kyoya just sighed, already bored, "hello Yuuichi."

Yuuichi Ootori, Kyoyas eldest brother, 14 years his senior and the clear winner for heir of the family business. Although their parents had always been cold and distant, Yuuichi had always made time for Kyoya and made it very clear that he would do anything for him.

Crouching down to fuss over Kyoya, Yuuichi silently checked for injuries before sighing. "Are you alright, I heard you were poisoned?"

"If you heard that I was posioned, why were you checking for injuries?"

"You might have gotten hurt as well, I don't know that!" Yuuichi pulls out a bag of tiny pretzels from his bag, "here, I brought you a snack. Do you know who poisoned you? Can you tell me?"

Kyoya took the pretzels, enjoying one before speaking finally. "No, I do know who did it but I cannot tell you, I told the culprit that I wouldn't tell father and I know that you would tell him if I were to tell you."

"Come on, Kyo," he sighed, "do I look like a narc?"

"Yes! Absolutely you do!" He raised his voice, exasperated by his brother attempting to be cool. On the other hand, he couldn't help but be amused by it, fighting back a smile. "The second I mention a name, I know you'll be running straight to father with that information. Even if you didn't, you wouldn't be able to get the culprit back without involving him."

Yuuichi ruffled his hair, Kyoya always hated it when he did that. "Is that so? So was it someone of higher standing than me? That's really concerning, Kyo, because that means it was an adult, doesn't it?" Standing up, Yuuichi began to pace. It was more than obvious that his rage was barely being concealed below the surface; his hands were shaking and his breath shook just as much. Yuuichi was a calm and level headed man, so the way his brow furrowed and his shoulders shuddered gave the impression that there was a lot more rage there than there appeared to be.

Kyoya had never seen his brother so angry, he wondered if Yuuichi had been so angry when he found out that father had hit him. Either way, the sight of his big brother so rage filled was frightening to a certain degree. It reminded him of when his father was angry… they did look so similar…

Watching him grit his teeth, it hasn't yet occured to Kyoya that a question had been asked of him. He was just silently watching his brother's anger threaten to spill over the surface. Although he knew that the anger was because someone had hurt him, the tiny irrational part of his brain that was still that small child wondering why his mama didn't come to comfort him in the night was terrified that the same anger born out of love for him, would be turned against him if he so much as breathed too loudly.

So he held his breath.

"Kyo?"

Yuuichi was kneeling before him again, and Kyoya felt dizzy. "Kyoya, are you alright? You just suddenly went silent, I-" He froze, and Kyoya saw his own fear mirrored in his brother's eyes. "Oh my god you're scared… you're scared of me?"

There was a profound sadness in the air and Kyoya wanted to cry and scream, he wanted to throw his arms around his brother and beg for forgiveness, to assure him that of course he isn't scared of his brother, that there's no one he feels safer around. He would never want to upset his brother, he adored his brother, he idolised him. How could he have made Yuuichi so upset? He-

Kyoya froze, he'd seen something change in Yuuichi's eyes, something incredibly interesting. It seemed his brother had caught his reflection in the metal doors of the cabinet, and he'd seen something there. Anger once again flashed through Yuuichi's eyes, then sadness, then, finally, guilt.

"Kyoya… it's not me you're scared of, is it?"

Kyoya shook his head, trying to keep his hands from shaking too.

"I look so much like father��" Yuuichi's voice shook again, but with something so different from rage this time, "I forget that's who you see in me."

"I'm sorry…" was all Kyoya could utter, barely audible, his own voice echoing the shivers in Yuuichi's tone.

Yuuichi's hands were warm, one of them gently touched Kyoya's cheek as the other held his hand. "Don't apologise, Kyoya, you've done nothing wrong. Please, please can you tell me who poisoned you? I won't tell father, I swear to you."

"I can't…" a solidarity tear rolled down Kyoya's cheek, he shook his head just a little. He couldn't yield, no matter how much he wanted to.

♡

Tamaki was furious. His grandmother had left the moment Kyoya had, leaving him to believe she had only shown up in order to hurt Kyoya, and hadn't actually wanted to spend time with Tamaki at all. His emotions were being used as a tool for her to be able to get the opportunity to hurt his best friend. Nothing made him more furious than being used.

Kyoya was the exception of course, Tamaki knew damn well that Kyoya was 'manipulating' him and to be honest he just let it happen. It was a harmless thing and it was obviously more comfortable for Kyoya than actually asking for things, so Tamaki didn't mind it. If he knew it was happening then it was hardly manipulation- sure the fact that Kyoya was putting the leaflets on his desk was a bit of a surprise, but that was only because Tamaki thought Kyoya was confident enough to ask him for things personally.

That was something that calmed him down but also upset him quite a bit. Thinking about the fact that Kyoya wasn't confident enough to ask Tamaki for certain themes; was it a matter of no confidence in his ideas or was Kyoya intimidated, or something like that?

It occured to Tamaki that Kyoya had said no to ideas that had come from the leaflets, those were Kyoya's own ideas. In fact, Kyoya was often meaner about the ideas that had come from the leaflets than the ideas that Tamaki had come up with himself… that didn't sit right with Tamaki at all. The fact that the more he thought about it, the less confident Kyoya seemed to be… well it was upsetting, to say the least.

Regardless, Tamaki was angry and he wanted to do something about it. Obviously confronting his grandmother about it would be a stupid idea, he wasn't an idiot, he couldn't do that. His next thought was to tip Kyoya's father off to what happened- or perhaps one of Kyoya's siblings, unfortunately that would make it look like Kyoya went against his word. Tamaki didn't want that. He needed to think of something better.

They had a day or two left of the holiday, and Tamaki wanted this over and done with by the time school started up again. He hated extra stress. That meant that he didn't have a lot of time to make and execute his plan.

Deciding to phone his darling girlfriend, Tamaki lay on his bed with his laptop open to an empty document. "Mon amour!" He called through the phone, "Haruhi! How are you, mon cherie?"

"Oh hey babe," Haruhi sounded disinterested, the sound of a scratching pen could be heard, "I'm fine, just doing some writing, what about you?"

Tamaki chuckled in response to her using a pet name, twirling his hair with his free hand as he did so. "Oh you're so smart and studious! I love that!"

"Thanks," Haruhi chuckled too, but Tamaki knew she was just finding him asmusing. He didn't mind, he just liked making her smile.

"Haruhi, I have a legal question."

"Oh?" There was the sound of her sitting up, and what Tamaki assumed was the sound of her grabbing her mother's legal book, "absolutely, what do you need?"

Taking a breath, Tamaki prepared to take notes. "This is a hypothetical, okay?"

"Mhm, hypothetical."

"So, say you were aware of an attempted murder, but you can't tell anyone or the victim will be in trouble. Without going to to police or committing a crime, what exactly can I do to get back at the criminal?"

"Hmm," Haruhi hummed in thought, "are you sure you don't want to commit a crime? If someone tried to kill someone I cared about, I would fight them there and then."

"I can't do that- in this hypothetical situation. The criminal is in a position of power over me."

"I see, well I'd say there's not much you can do that would get the criminal back in a way that is big enough. What was the method of attempted murder?"

"Poison, in some tea."

"Ooh!" Haruhi seemed excited by this news, flipping a few pages in her book. "Yeah you could absolutely put a non-lethal amount in her tea- was the poison in the teacup or the teapot?"

"I'm not sure…" Tamaki thought back to how his grandmother had insisted on pouring the tea herself, "oh maybe the teapot? She poured the tea herself."

Haruhi made a whistle at that, "ooh we've got a gender? And an assassin's teapot from the sound of it. Great!" It sounded like she was clapping her hands together before the turning of more pages. "Definitely just put a non-lethal amount in her own tea, it's not legal but you could get away with it in a court of law by playing dumb and making them think you didn't know there was any posion in the teapot."

The idea of doing something so actively malicious did scare Tamaki slightly, but on the other hand, the thought of Kyoya getting hurt was even more terrifying. It made his blood boil and he decided that he didn't care if he was breaking the law, he decided that his grandmother deserved a literal taste of her own medicine. "That's a good idea, hypothetically speaking."

"Of course, of course." Haruhi agreed, "oh, and Tamaki?"

"Yes mon amour?"

"This is hypothetical, right. I haven't actually just told you to poison someone, have I?"

"Oh no," he shook his head, despite being on the phone, "don't worry, I was just watching a movie and wanted your opinion."

"Okay good, love you babe."

"Love you do, my beloved." He waited for Haruhi to hang up, then sighed in relief. As much as he loved her, she did still believe that he was a moron. That wasn't nessarily a bad thing, however, as she'd just told him how to get away with attempted murder because he told her he was watching a movie. Maybe she was the moron in this situation- but Tamaki felt bad even thinking that. So he didn't.

Standing up, he knew his grandmother was in the main mansion, Tamaki wasn't allowed in the main mansion but he knew that she'd left the teapot in this one. Going to fetch it was easy, she'd left it on the table and the maids hadn't bothered to move it yet.

The hardest part was finding a good opportunity to pour some tea for her. His first thought was inviting his grandmother and his father for dinner and then pouring the tea before they even arrived, but he didn't want his father to cotton on to Tamaki's true intent and knew that he and his father were too much alike for him to get away with that. His next plan involved going to his grandmother's office for a friendly visit, he would send the teapot ahead of him, paying off one of the interns so they wouldn't mention he was the one that brought it.

He didn't do it the same day, he wasn't an idiot. He had the maids keep the poison in there, but removed the tea. Tamaki himself spent a little while watching videos explaining how to use an assassin's teapot, it was actually very interesting.

It was two days later when he got the chance, he hadn't done anything really during the day in-between, and he'd noticed he was missing any messages from his friends aside from a good morning text from Haruhi, and then one from Kyoya about two or three hours later. It was nice that both of them checked in with him every day. He loved them both so much.

He did wonder if not checking in on Kyoya made him a bad friend, but clearly Kyoya was alive, so it's not like Tamaki would be told if Kyoya felt bad; that boy was too closed off to be vulnerable. Because it was so rare, Tamaki looked forward to the times that Kyoya was vulnerable with him. He had elaborate fantasies where Kyoya fell into his arms, stifled, angelic tears in the sweet devil's eyes. He would comfort Kyoya, of course, and Kyoya would turn to him alone for comfort and affection.

To be fair, Kyoya already does that, but Tamaki wished he did it more. He wanted to be the only person who could make Kyoya smile- was that weird? He didn't think it was weird, that was just something best friends thought about each other.

[fencesandfrogs]

Hello I recently found out you have been watching a series of unfortunate events and I just. I have so much to say omg!! For now I will settle with, how are you liking the show and who/what are your favorite things about it rn?

eeeee yessss okay

i'd already seen s1 and part of s2 w my family, but i decided to rewatch from the beginning, bc, well.

yeah.

a series of unfortunate events were books i read as a child, like. y'know the way i read the bad begnning and then i'd just grab whichever were free and settle in for an hour or so of reading. like. just. picturing their covers reminds me of being in fifth grade and sitting in a chair to read. reading was so escapism for me that i hold all childhood book series close to my chest. (fun fact!: i broke up w someone over them once.) (/j it was complicated but they did technically play a part.)

(aside: i loved anything like that, and just...god i read the bad beginning so many times. i was obsessed w tragedy and so a book series where i didn't have to sit thru to find the bad bits? the punch of knowing that there was always another hit? no happy ending would stick? good shit.)

i'm on s3 rn? i watched the first half of the grim grotto, but the second episode ended up being too much, so a friend found a summary for me, but i haven't been in the Mood for it since then. i might pick it up tonight or tomorrow, we'll See.

i'm really liking the show! i think they managed to capture the tone of the books really, really well. like. damn. that's the way to do it.

y'know how the princess bride movie is completely different from the book? because the book is sarcastic and snippy and they couldn't make it fit a movie so they just cut it?

(aside ii: no shade on the princess bride movie. i love the book and the movie. but you have to understand they're two entirely disparate stories.)

but a tv show has time to do freezes and author speaking to you like that and the narration so a series of unfortunate events gets to breathe and it gets to be told the only way it could be told.

urgh it makes me want to scream into a pillow i'm so happy about how it got told. it just. it feels as much like reading the books did as it could, and that makes me so happy.

so yeah those r overall thoughts.

characterwise...

uhm this isn't characterwise i just want to pause and say i think they're doing a good job w the deaths. that's really hard to pull off in a children's show, but they're doing it. it's very impressive and netflix is really doing well w this series.

okay back to character thoughts.

i've liked most characters tbh. i think everyone is done really well.

count olaf doesn't fit with him in my head from the books, but not in a bad way. like the him-in-my-head was not going to work on tv i'm okay w that change. it's not even a change? it's just a subtle distinction.

i find the baudelaires are...hm.

i don't think of them in the same way i used to, and i know why. part of it is growing up, part of it is, well...

i'm not in the mood to bare my soul in a way you probably didn't expect from a short little ask, so i won't. i'll just say reflection on that part is a little bittersweet.

now you'll have to forgive me because i have a memory problem so names are not my strongsuit, nor is spelling, but i really like the snicket siblings! they're fans. and the um. the woman who made the new madame lulu. i liked her quite a lot.

the quagmire triplets r also favourites. i have a feeling that something i'm having thoughts about atm (wrt violet and what's-his-name's conversation about fires) is going to be resolved later, so i won't say what i think now, lest i invite people to comment/spoil things. but i'm a fan of the three of them. i dunno.

sibling relationships hit me in all sorts of ways.

something that hit me unexpectedly hard was violet's moment when klaus was hypnotized. her "i'm supposed to protect him" just.

violet my beloved.

aaaand i am of course having thoughts about sunny but wrt ep 2 of the grim grotto they went from normal thoughts i'd tell anyone to suddenly and intensely personal so i can't share them BUT know they are there and they are many.

ty for asking!! i love getting asks on main <3333

<3

[immacaria]

Eternity

  Here comes the Day 3 with the prompt ‘Eternity’ from Beetober 2021 from @bloody-bee-tea! I took inspiration from this prompt of @mingcheng-prompts too and I kind od made myself cry a little but okay! Tears are mostly good, according to my sib and my mom. Anyways this is one is actually Mingcheng and it’s a reincarnation AU. The word count is 2504 words. This being said, I hope you guys enjoy this and stay safe and healthy! 

________________________________________________________________

  When it happened the first time, it was confusing and he was called crazy by some and a dreamer by others. Whispers that the gods had cursed him with the memories of the past went behind his back, ones that were sure that he had been too bad in his previous life and that death was a too easy escape for him. Not that Jiang Cheng didn’t agree with it all, he did, but he was angry at the gods nonetheless. 

  Because he had suffered in his previous life too, he had lost so many things already and now he had to live with the same memories as before. His siblings’ laugh and his nephew’s radiant smile, his best friend’s dramatic acts and his husband’s sleepy faces everyday in the morning right after he woke up. Now he had to live not only with the memories of his crimes, but with the memories of what could never be again. Maybe he had been too bad before and he did deserve all of it now. 

  But, as the lives passed, the memories built up, not fading or mixing as he expected them to. Jiang Cheng still remembered Wei Wuxian’s corny jokes that didn’t make sense anymore and Nie Mingjue’s little screams every time one of the younger disciples appeared out of nowhere and scared him. But, now, he remembered his mother in his second life, Liu Xiaotong, and her loud laugh and big hugs and the way his younger brother in his fourth life, Shen Yuan, had the bad habit of climbing trees to the highest branches and scaring the passersby with his screams too and he was happy did. 

  Every one of them had its happy moments and laughs, but they had hardships too, some more than others. He starved and suffered from the cold in some of them, always trying to give a more comfortable life to his younger siblings and cousins, and in others he was killed even before he could reach the adult age, sometimes for being rich and others as a punishment for his parents. All of them left memories behind, good or bad, and Jiang Cheng still prayed in every one of them that he would forget at least some of them. 

  He never did, though. So he tried to ignore them and more on with his life - or lives - until whatever sadistic and bastard god above tired out of playing with him and let him actually die. Or, at least, forget some of the memories. But, at some point,trying to ignore didn’t have any more effects and he was forced to face all that stayed behind, all the pain, all the despair and traumas. 

  But sometimes that countless memories came in hand, let it be as an instinct from a previous life or a memory from a historical moment he lived - because, yes, he ended up in some really fucked up moments - through and needed the knowledge. Even if he lost count of how many lives he had lived and the memories sometimes got mixed up, Still, every now and then, it was good to have the memories and Jiang Cheng almost thanked whatever sadistic god above for them. 

  Only, almost but if it was for him to thank anything it was the few times where he saw familiar faces around. Most of the time it was only one or two faces and he generally wasn’t connected at all to them. But, sometimes, he would reincarnate as a family member of one of them and his heart would always ache with the past memories and the hope of them remembering anything from the past. There was a time where he was born as Jiang Yanli’s older brother, Jin Zixuan was their neighbour and the whole time he was waiting for Wei Wuxian to appear too with his corny jokes and loud laugh but he never did. 

  It happened other times too, sometimes with both his siblings or just one of them, sometimes their dynamics changed way too much and others not so much. Everybody had appeared in his life one more time, from Yu Ziyuan to Jiang Yanli and Lan Xichen to Nie Huaisang, everybody minus Nie Mingjue. No matter how many times he searched, looked around and hoped, his husband would never be where he thought or even pass by him in the street just for him to see him one more time. But it never happened and, with his luck, it never would. 

  For example, this new life of his had everybody from his first life, but he was still to find Nie Mingjue. He was born as Jiang Yanli’s twin brother, Wei Wuxian’s older cousin - though the boy was raised as their brother -  and the “second'' son of Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian because Yanli was born two minutes before him. Funny enough, at least for him, it was actually Jin Zixuan who had a crush on his sister first and acted like a fool. 

  Meng Yao was still Jin Zixuan’s brother, though he was raised as his cousin, and was the one to take his siblings out of their father’s reach. He and Lan Xichen were dating since high school and it was their fault that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji met and Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng were suffering now. Still, there were only two things that managed to surprise him in this new life: 1. After his parents divorced and his mother married Wen Zhuliu, of all people she could choose, she actually changed from that bitter and angered woman to someone happier and easier to deal with, someone that actually tried to understand others, and 2. There was something strange in the air, something off that he really couldn’t see, but if he had to guess, it would be the fact that literally everyone from his first life was there. 

  He discovered it soon enough, though. It was Saturday and they were making barbecue in his mother’s backyard - an activity he never thought he would see Yu Ziyuan participating in - when he discovered what it was. Unfortunately, it was hope. Hope that Nie Mingjue was among them and well, even if he didn’t remember anything, hope that this time he would at least see his husband dimples again. After all, this was too the first time that everyone from his first life was alive at the same time. 

  “Cheng-ge! Cheng-ge!” Wei Wuxian screamed from the other side of the backyard, waving his arms excitedly. He was near the pool Wen Zhuliu had built for Yu Ziyuan and was wearing a black swimming shorts with white little ghosts all over it with tattoo sleeves running down his arms. “Look at this!” He smiled and fear ran down Jiang Cheng’s spine as he realized that he was going to jump. 

  “Wei Wuxian, don’t you da-...” He said, getting up from the wood bench he was laying down on and going to the pool as his idiot brother did a black flip and almost hit his head on the pool edge. “Shit.” He took a deep breath, squeezing the tip of his nose. 

  “Did you see it, Cheng-ge?” He appeared near him, smiling widely and looking like a wet rat, a very cute one, but a wet rat nonetheless. 

  “You are looking like a wet rat and of course I saw it. It was rad.” He sighed, rolling his eyes and squatting near him. “Who taught you that though?” 

  “Lan Zhan!” He chirped, before disappearing under the water again and swimming again. Jiang Cheng looked over his shoulder to where Lan Wangji was helping his brother and Jin Zixuan on the grill with his ears reddening as Lan Xichen giggled beside him. Maybe another murder will make me finally die for real and the gods will be tired of me., he thought as he got up and started walking up to where the psychopath that Wei Wuxian called boyfriend was. 

  Fortunately for Wangji, his death was delayed as Nie Huaisang appeared from inside the house with a big and red thermal box in hands and screaming his name like he was being murdered. “Jiang-xiong! I’m so sorry I’m late, really, really sorry! But, look! I made moon cakes and baozi!” 

  “If you think you can make me forget and forgive your delay with food, you are…” He started before his sister interrupted him, coming from absolutely nowhere and taking the thermal box from Huaisang’s hands. 

  “Absolutely right! Thank you for them, A-Sang!” Jiang Yanli smiled, before elbowing him in the ribs and angrily muttering. “Shut up, don’t be rude. Or I’ll kill you if you make him go away with these buns.” He only scrunched his nose back at her, putting his tongue out as she walked to where her boyfriend was, with her face all scrunched up and tongue out too. 

  “Why are you late, anyways?” He said, rolling his eyes as Yanli’s giggles reached his ears and Huaisang smiled at him knowingly. The little bastard knew way too well that his twin would kill him if he was rude to him. 

  “I went to get my brother at the airport. Hope that you don’t mind that he came too. His apartment isn’t ready yet and I think it will be good for him to meet some new people.” He shrugged, pointing over his shoulder and completely ignorant to the way that Jiang Cheng’s heart missed a beat and hope threatened to grab his neck and suffocate him as he waited - No, prayed - for Mingjue to appear at the same at the same path his brother did with all his glory and hellish dimples that rendered him stupid whenever he smiled. 

  “You have a brother?” He whispered, hand fisting at his shorts as he tried to swallow down the knot on his throat. 

  “Yeah, his name is Nie Mingjue, he is my older brother. He was out to the United States these last years but he’s back now and doesn’t plan to leave any time soon again.” He said happily, lightening up at the thought of his brother staying and Jiang Cheng felt his head light as his vision went white. 

  When he could see again, the first thing he saw was Wei Wuxian's wet face staring down at him with wide and fearful eyes and dripping water on his face. If he was still able to, he would have scared himself, but instantly he just groaned and tried to move just to notice that he was leaning in the ground. He felt his face heat up as he noticed that everybody on the barbecue was around him and looking at him with worried eyes. 

  "What the hell, Jiang-xiong?" He heard Nie Huaisang say as he covered his face with a hand and got up. That's when he felt strong and oh, so familiar hands wrap up against waist. 

  "I don't remember you fading so easily, my heart." Nie Mingjue joked when he turned around quickly, both their eyes shiny with unshed tears and Jiang Cheng let out a laugh as he launched himself at him. 

  "You asshole! This is your fault!" His arms hugged his neck and he hid his face on his neck, taking deep breaths and relaxing against him. "Do you know how much I missed you? How much I waited for you?" 

 "I don't, but if it's half as I did, I can tell you that you didn't deserve to suffer all of this hurt alone." Nie Mingjue said against his hair, kissing his head. "But I think that first we have to explain to your family why you are crying and clinging to me." 

  "Oh! Right." Jiang Cheng sniffed, turning around to meet his sister's amused look, his brother's angry glare, his stepfather's inquisitive gaze and his mother's unimpressed face. "Well, shit." 

  "Well, shit, indeed, Jiang-xiong!" Nie Huaisang said, throwing his hands in the air before pointing at Mingjue's face. "Did you fuck my best friend, Da-ge? When did you fuck my best friend, Da-ge?!" Behind him, Wei Wuxian's glare turned downright murderous and Yanli's got a lot less amused and a lot more angry. 

  "What the hell, Nie-xiong? Shouldn't you be saying that to Jiang Cheng?" Mo Xuanyu said, looking over Jin Zixuan's shoulder with a raised eyebrow. 

  "No! Because I'm stuck with Da-ge, but I can still lose Jiang-xiong and I will not risk it because my brother fucked him." He waved his finger at him again. "Now, answer me, did you fuck my best friend?" 

  "Did you?" Wei Wuxian growled, making Jiang Cheng facepalm as Nie Mingjue leaned in his ear and whispered. 

  "I fear my life now." 

  "As you should." Jiang Yanli said and Jiang Cheng started to laugh loudly, hiding his face on his husband's neck. 

♡

♡

♡

  "So your mother is now married to Wen Zhuliu? The one that used to melt golden cores back in the day?" Nie Mingjue said, hugging his waist and leaning back on the headboard of his bed. After the barbecue, many explanations and threats to Nie Mingjue's life, they decided to go back to Nie Mingjue's apartment and just relax the rest of the day. And catch up with each other too. "And your father is still an asshole?" 

  "Yes, yes and yes. And I'm Yanli's twin brother. Fraternal. And Wei Wuxian's older cousin, though we were raised like siblings." Jiang Cheng said, putting his head back on his shoulder. "Meng Yao and Zixuan have only seven months of difference between them and Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji are identical twins, I think." 

  "And A-Sang is only three years younger than me. And my parents are alive, the three of them." He added, putting his own head on his. "How many lives have you lived, my heart?" 

 "Too many to count and too little to actually forget." He answered, closing his eyes and intertwining his fingers. "But I estimate something along twenty or twenty-two. What about you?" 

  "Same answer, but I could say that I had only fourteen or eighteen." He shrugged and Jiang Cheng squeezed his hands. "I guess that dying from qi deviation holds the reincarnation for some time." 

  "Oh, my soul." He turned around, sitting on Mingjue's thighs and holding his face. Slowly, he kissed the corner of his mouth, his cheek, the tip of his nose, his eyes and finally his mouth. "We are together again. That's what matters." He whispered against his mouth, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. 

  "Yes, we're going to be fine now." Nie Mingjue whispered back, hugging him tight and pulling him down to the bed. He was right, they were together now and they were going to be fine because even if he kept reincarnating and keeping all his memories, they would still have each other's memories to keep them going until they were together again. Because they would be together for as many lives as they could and, if possible, for all eternity. 

[alex-fa-main]

mASSachusetts

Oh right, you're new. Masada Boston is one of my best developed states. Under a readmore bc I went full throttle lmfao my bad

She's the oldest of all the states (this is disputed by Ginny (Virginia)). She leads state meetings, she runs New England, she keeps Brock (New York) in check. She also runs NATO, taking America's place in leading it. He's usually far too busy with some crisis in the federal government, so she happily substitutes in.

Her power was inspired by the witchcraft community within Massachusetts, so she has the power of the five elements. However she often favors fire, she is fire. Bright, and also very dangerous.

She's very close with the other New England states. Especially Hamilton (New Hampshire) (not that THEY will admit it). She can be a bit protective of Rhodes (Rhode Island) and Connor (Connecticut).

Let's start with the revolution.

The Boston Tea Party was her idea, and she talked America into it. She had enough of Britain's bullshit.

Of course she was pissed off with Britain, she was pissed off with everyone. But when he retaliated, when the intolerable acts where passed, it manifested on her as a gag and chains. She felt powerless. She had lost her voice, her hands, everything.

But, unfortunately for Britain, she had many siblings who love her. Hamilton and Brock were especially pissed the fuck off. And after first they only blamed each other, until Rhodes stepped in to point out that no, this is Britain's fault, let's focus?

Of course the "first" battle of the revolution was in New Hampshire, and of course it was Hamilton trying to steal guns.

And then it all came to Lexington and Concord. Masada laid there, in the mud and rain, listening to the orders to hold her fire. America himself listened, even Hamilton was hesitating to go against orders. The silence was far too tense. She looked down the barrel of her rifle.

And she pulled the trigger. She knew what she was doing. What she was starting. And she was not afraid.

She lead the revolution brilliantly. They got their asses kicked at first of course, but Masada is smart and capable and by god even if she was walking into a battlefield alone she would still walk there.

And she won. She won, alongside her siblings, alongside America. (Who, after the fact was like you should call me dad :D bc you're my state :D and Masada, about the same age as him was like lmao. no.)

Flashing forward a little bit, she was a bit hurt when Mai (Maine) was onboard with being her own state. But she understood why, and she viewed it as necessary to keep peace among growing tensions. Missouri and Maine both becoming states was balanced, right?

And then war broke out.

It was hard, at first. It was hard. Britain was on thing, she barely knew the guy. But... how could she raise a gun at Ginny, who had once fought beside her? At the Carolina twins? At these states she has spent her eternal life protecting and loving?

And then Hamilton was shot, shot while trying to protect Mai. Penny (Pennsylvannia) was hurt, with Brock in some sort of crisis from failing to protect her. Masada stared down at Hamilton, still unconscious. At Penny, too hurt to even speak. At Brock, horrified.

And she pushed back. She never quite forgave the south for it. Mai may have been the first to offer the olive branch to Jeff (Missouri), but Masada was last. And even if she did forgive them, she never forgot. She never forgot how that felt.

But she kept a level head, ran her state well. Kept everyone in line, ran state meetings. Helped America where she could. And of course, when America formed NATO, she was right there. He always had something to deal with, so she was sent to NATO to handle their meetings. (Though America, protective "father" he is, insisted she bring a bodyguard. She chose Hamilton.)

She handled the cuban missile crisis with a calm and level head. The last thing they needed was to escalate anything, even with America and Flavius (Florida) both flipping shit.

In the 70s, she ran into Brock in a gay bar. They both kept that secret until 2003, when Masada came out as a lesbian.

Speaking of Brock, no one reacted faster to 9/11 than Masada did. This is inspired by stories I heard growing up of Boston giving everything it had to New York City to help them.

She was there first, right by his side. She was on the ground, telling people what to do, trying to clean up the mess, figure out what to do next. She actually skipped that NATO meeting because she knew Brock needed her. And right there she was.

In 2003, she announced her decision to pass same-sex marriage, and announced her personal stakes. She had already told very few states before, but always on accident. She ran into Brock on accident, she told Rhodes while she was drunk, and Hamilton had sort of always guessed (I mean, she has blue hair and pronouns)

Some states reacted better than others. Hamilton did have to pull a gun on Dallas (Texas) to get him to shut his fucking mouth.

This of course, inspired the wave of state-by-state same-sex marriage legalization, and she happily shouted down the red states during state meetings. She didn't give a fuck, they were being stupid.

The Boston Bombings rattled her, just a bit, but it's as the saying at the time went. "Don't fuck with Boston."

Today, she leads NATO because she has the mindset for it. Technically she's still "substituting" for America, but the NATO countries actually prefer her. She's much more organized, and has the force to back up her words.

She also has a habit of making out with Romania during her off time at NATO meetings. Witch x vampire am I right.

Masada is strong, well-liked, temperamental, and smart. A truly dangerous combination for anyone who wants to fuck with her.

[koolkat9]

Hetalia Poly Ship Week: Day 4

@hetalia-polyship-week

I’m so sorry this is a day late. Life got a bit hectic and I had a bit of trouble finding my footing with uni so...yeah...this also turned out pretty long. But here it is. This was actually so fun to write despite life being crappy these past two days. Forgive this little rant, onto the fic!

Prompt: Fairytale

Relationship: GerFruk (though it's not super romantic, more like meeting each other for the first time)

Word Count: 2022

Author’s Note: This takes place in a world where all traditional fairytales exist, but what happens when characters of those fairytales collide one fateful night?

Francis-> Rapunzel (Rapunzel)

Ludwig-> Cinderella (Cinderella)

Arthur-> Beauty and the Beast (Beast)

At Midnight

God his feet were killing him. One night. One night was all Ludwig had asked for and now he was running through the forest with only one boot and tattered clothing. But that’s what he got for trusting a pesky fairy and losing track of time. Eventually, he came upon a clearing and decided to stop for a moment and gain his bearings.

He hadn’t thought this through. First, he didn’t keep track of the time, second, he ran without even thinking as to where he was going to go, and of all places, he headed towards the forest. Now he was lost in the middle of the night, freezing cold, probably a long way from any form of help. At least it was far better than home.

Which brought up another question. If he did find someone or his way back to town, where would he go? Home? Could it even be called that when you weren’t even welcomed there, no one to love and worked to the bone by those who should? But what other place was there when you were penniless?

Just when Ludwig thought all hope was lost, he heard a faint voice coming from the trees in front of him. Without any other lead, he began making his way towards the sound, hoping that whoever it was could help him find his way out of here.

He was led to another clearing, but in the center of this one stood a tower overgrown by vines and other plant life. Ludwig would have assumed it was abandoned if not for the blond man at the top singing away. It was beautiful, He was beautiful with long blond hair that went way past his shoulders. As he went in for a closer look, he stepped on a twig, snapping it and bringing attention to himself. The man in the tower immediately stopped, cowering into the stone walls, but still peeking out to survey the situation. “Who’s there?” he asked, voice wavering slightly.

Ludwig made his way right under the window so the man could see him. “I apologize for starling you, but I seem to have gotten lost-”

“Mon Dieu, what happened to you?”

Ludwig looked down at his ripped garments, ruined by his step-siblings before looking back up. “A little family altercation. But that doesn’t matter now. Do you by chance know the way back to town?”

The man’s eyes went wide. “There is a town near here?” he asked, sticking his head out the window.

“Uh...yes...I-I take it that means you don’t know.”

The man was silent for a moment, not looking at Ludwig and instead, his gaze was cast straight ahead as if in thought. “Hello?” Ludwig called to get the man’s attention again.

“Oh… sorry. Yeah… No, I'm sorry I don’t.” He looked around before continuing, “But I can’t just leave you out here like this. Give me a moment mon cher.” There was a light thumping from above then a loud crash signaling the fall of something. To Ludwig’s relief, it was followed by a string of French curses which let him know the man above was okay. Said man returned to the window moments later, throwing a thick rope down, or at least what appeared to be a rope. When Ludwig took hold of the rope he realized it was actually hair, the man’s hair to be exact. Ludwig looked up, given the man a concerned look.

“Don’t worry. I’ve done this dozens of times, I’ll be fine.”

With a deep breath, Ludwig began his climb with the man helping him by pulling him up. Soon enough he was safely in the confines of the tower.

“Couldn’t I have just used the door?” Ludwig asked.

“Unfortunately the stairs are broken. Oh please, come sit, sit.” The man took hold of Ludwig’s wrist, guiding him towards a couch.

Ludwig quirked a brow at the man’s answer. If the stairs were broken how did he get down? He couldn’t use his own hair, could he?

“So what should I call you mon cher?”

“Ah...ah...Ludwig. And you?”

“Francis! It's nice to meet you.” The man, Francis, was quiet for a moment before adding, "So there really is a village nearby?”

“Yes. Why? Have you never been?”

Francis gave a sad smile. “I can’t say I have. I haven't even been out of the tower since I was little."

Ludwig was taken aback by this. After a few moments of trying to reach for something to say, he figured there was nothing he could. "I'm sorry to hear that," he stated instead. "Not that it is the exact same, but I wasn't exactly allowed outside much either."

Francis sighed "My mother is just protective. I wonder if she's aware of how close we are to town. Perhaps that would make her trips shorter. Then again it's nice to be rid of her for a few days."

"At least she loves you. Mine only keeps me around to do the housework, cooking, and use as a verbal punching bag."

“Oh, Ludwig.” Francis gave him a sympathetic look before surprisingly pulling him into a hug. It was nice. Ludwig couldn’t recall the last time he had a hug. It was probably right before his brother died and all this hell began. Hesitantly, he returned the action, wrapping his arms around the Frenchman’s waist.

He smelled like lavender and his embrace was so warm that Ludwig felt himself melting against him. For a moment the thought of just staying here crossed his mind. The hug and thought were cut short however by the sound of crashing below.

Francis and Ludwig pulled away, looking at each other before turning towards the trap door that was supposed to lead to the stairs and entrance. They silently agreed to ignore it, but when another bang was heard below, Ludwig decided he should at least try to see what it was. He quietly made his way over to the door before carefully throwing it open.

Below was dark and he could barely make out the large silhouette of some creature below. It grunted as if in pain, its shoulders shaking.

“Get me a candle,” Ludwig ordered. Francis stumbled off the couch they were sitting on before collecting a candle and match and lighting the wick.

When Ludwig brought the light down to get a better look at the creature he found golden fur wrapped in what appeared to be a cloak. The beast snapped its head towards them showing a wolf-like face with fangs protruding. Ludwig fell back out of shock and a bit of fear. He had read about such monstrous creatures in books when he was a child and how they came to eat naughty children in the dark of night. Despite this, he found himself peeking down once more when he heard it whimper, ignoring Francis’ whispers of concern and protest.

The beast looked up at him with pleading green eyes, ears pulled back in discomfort. Upon further inspection, the blond fur was mixed with the crimson of blood. Something in Ludwig’s heart twisted and he was unable to leave it there. He looked around for a way to get himself down. “Francis, you think I could lower me down?”

The blond gave him a horrified look. “What the hell are you thinking? I don’t know what’s down there, but judging by your reaction it can’t be good. Mother told me all about evil creatures-”

“You don’t have to come down, but I’m going.”

Though he grumbled some more protests, Francis lowered his hair down, giving Ludwig a rope to climb.

The lower level was damp and musty. Ludwig held onto the candle tightly as he approached the figure which had frozen up. “Hello?” Ludwig called only to receive a ferocious roar in return. He stiffened, but pushed on. “I don’t know if you can understand me, but I want to help you.”

The beast cowered away. It seemed more scared than anything. “Wait right here,” Ludwig said before returning below the trap door. “Francis, could you get me bandages or something to wrap up some wounds.” Francis disappeared from above, but shuffling could be heard.

“I’m coming down,” Francis announced, reappearing. “I’m not letting you face this alone mon ami.”

Before Ludwig could protest, Francis was jumping down and Ludwig had no choice but to catch him.

This earned a growl from the creature. Francis hid behind Ludwig at the sound. “All bark, no bite,” Ludwig whispered in assurance. “Do you have the bandages?”

Francis handed some clothes over. Not ideal, but they’d work. Cautiously, he approached the beast who was cowering into the corner he was in. “It's okay,” Ludwig murmured, “we just want to help you.”

When he got closer, he noticed where the blood was coming from, a nasty gash on the creature’s side. Crouching down to get a better view, Ludwig pushed a cloth against it. The beast snarled in pain, but relaxed ever so slightly as Ludwig began to wrap up the wound. Francis had also made his way over, petting the head of the creature in comfort.

“It's like a big puppy,” Francis laughed lightly, earning a growl from the beast. The Frenchman backed up, scared it would snap, but it didn’t. Still, Francis decided it was best to keep his distance.

Ludwig only shook his head before finishing up the wrapping. “There. That should be good for now,” he sighed, standing up once more.

“Thank you…”

Francis and Ludwig look towards each other and then at the beast.

“This is when you say you’re welcome,” the beast grumbled, sitting himself up.

“You can talk?” Francis breathed.

“Yes. How rude of you to assume otherwise.”

For something so big and scruffy, the creature spoke quite eloquently though sharply and his accent posh and proper.

Francis went to bite back, but Ludwig interrupted. “So...What’s your name? Mine’s Ludwig and this is Francis.”

“Arthur.”

They lapsed into a silence, Ludwig and Francis trying to make sense of it all and Arthur glaring at the two. Once he had regained his bearings, Arthur pulled himself up and began dragging himself towards the door. “Well, you’ve been quite hospitable, but I really should get going," he noted sarcastically.

“Wait,” Ludwig said, jumping to his feet, “you are in no shape to be up.”

“And what do you suggest I do? Wait down here in the mud and mold. No thank you.”

“You could always stay upstairs with me and Lud,” Francis suggested.

“And how do you suppose we get up there without stairs?” Arthur sneered.

“Good point.”

The three returned to silence, thinking of what to do next.

Arthur sighed. “Okay… Here’s an idea. My castle isn’t that far from here. If you are so concerned about me you can accompany me there and as payment for your help you can stay there for tonight.”

Francis' brows furrowed, a hesitant look crossing his face. “Francis, you don’t have to come," Ludwig said. "I’m sure I can manage on my own.”

“Non. I’ll come. I’ve been locked up here far too long. Plus...it's not like I can get back up anyway and my mother will...she’ll be...so mad if she finds everything like this.”

That statement worried Ludwig far more than it should have. He tried not to think about it or the fearful look in Francis’ eye. Instead, he turned his attention to Arthur. He helped steady the beast, wrapping his arm (paw? claw?) around his shoulder to support him. Francis followed suit on the other side. With that settled they took off into the night, following Arthur's directions

It was truly a strange night. What was supposed to be his night to relax and forget about his troubles turned into one of adventure... which came with new troubles. But as Ludwig walked through the forest with Arthur and Francis he couldn’t help but feel free, relieved, like his life was changing for the better. He shook his head, telling himself he was just tired and everything was strange which lead to this feeling. Right now what mattered was getting Arthur to that castle.

(I may continue this once I finish up with ‘In the Deep.’ Gosh, so many fic ideas, so little time)

[salamoonder]

alright so i was talking about this the other day in the groupchat and i cannot get over how good for each other caleb and beau are?? like there’s something...i don’t know there is something absolutely next level about empire siblings. like. okay. (under a cut bc this got so FUCKING long, what the fuck. also i talk about essek for a bit and how i think he will change their relationship.)

i’ve said it a million times but i think beau had the best possible reaction to caleb’s backstory reveal. she didn’t discount it; she didn’t treat it like nothing. she basically went “that’s fucked up, man, but you can and will do better” which i think is exactly what he needed to hear. caleb has this tendency to wallow in guilt and when you wallow in guilt it’s very easy to fall into a trap of inaction or only wanting to focus on things that will make that guilt quiet down (i.e., working on the very dangerous and perhaps impossible task of going back in time to save his parents. it’s kind of like people who are intent on doing relief work in far off countries where “real” poverty exists but who don’t wanna help the homeless people living in their own city.) beau pushes him to take his focus off the guilt quieting plans and put his focus on things that will actually be doing good for the sake of doing good. i think that’s sometimes a very difficult distinction to make and tbh beau has a very good grasp on it.

i also think this plays into part of the reason caleb still hasn’t told jester (or cad?) like okay number one, he’s scared. number two, i literally don’t think he can handle the easy forgiveness he would get from them (especially jester) and i think it would send him into a spiral of “no you don’t get it i did a bad bad thing i’m a terrible person” that might be hard to pull out of. and beau is extremely critical in general. she sees a thing she doesn’t like, you don’t have to wonder about it. “well that’s fucked up” are going to be the first words out of her mouth. caleb doesn’t have to worry about her misunderstanding the heaviness of what he’s done the way i suspect he does with the others. beau is never going to diminish how bad he feels about doing a thing; all she’s going to do is say “okay, and what are you gonna do about it?” which is THE BEST. THING. action is the best thing for depressed people oh my god. anyway.

honestly like. ok my favorite thing about beau is that despite the social awkwardness/prickliness she is genuinely *really good at people*. she understands people. i literally still cannot get over how good she is at handling caleb’s panic attacks. i think a lot of people’s first instinct w handling panic attacks is to smother, or, worse, to get just as worked up as the person panicking trying to calm them down. beau is very detached, calm, and levelheaded. she provides physical comfort/stimulus, water, and someone to talk to, and she waits. ( @thedarklordsnicklefritz pointed out recently that she’d be a very good nurse.)

now, caleb to beau: he so clearly, so obviously values her opinions and what she has to say. for all that he is “the smart one”--for all that the wheels in his head are constantly turning and for all that he has a plan for everything--he sits quietly and listens to her whenever she has something to say. he asks her about herself. he wants to know her plans and her goals. not only does he treat her like an adult with agency and ambition and ideas worth hearing, he treats her as a colleage. as a fellow scholar. and i think that beau was sorely lacking that kind of respect, especially under zeenoth. i think it’s something that she craves. even when they are at each other’s throats, he doesn’t interrupt her arguments. he listens till she’s done, and then he speaks. even if he’s growling at her through clenched teeth. he still gives her that respect.

another thing about caleb is that he mirrors the kind of love that beau shows him right back at her. leaving molly’s grave? the shit in kamordah? hand on her shoulder. here is frumpkin. here is frumpkin again. and again. and again--here is some quiet show of support, some small comfort. nothing to embarrass her or cause undue awkwardness. just, there, always. they are each other’s constants and i will literally never be over this oh my god--

okay another thing is, and this is going to be a bit touchy and i might word wrong so please be patient with me and ask questions if you have them, there is something to be said about the friendship of two people who are fundamentally romantically and sexually incompatible. like there’s a reason why “gay best friend” is a trope and there is some not great stuff surrounding it. but i also think that there is a kind of value in a friendship where you never have to worry about romantic or sexual shit coming up. there’s a certain security there, a kind of...safety. there is a safety in "i have no interest in your sex life." there is a safety in beau being a lesbian. both of them have some real baggage/struggles surrounding relationships, and this is not to say that they will never have a meaningful or secure or safe romantic/sexual relationship again. it’s just that there are unique problems that both of those will bring to them--unique problems that i think may bring them each a unique beauty and growth in working through--but nevertheless, unique problems that neither of them have to worry about with each other. their friendship is safe from that.

alright, now onto essek: i am really worried/intrigued for what he will mean for their friendship when they get back to xhorhas and have to deal with him. i think they both see him very differently, and i can’t see them getting through...*waves hand* “punishment” and whatever that means, without another blowup fight and serious hurt feelings.

i think caleb quite clearly sees himself in essek; i don’t think i need to lay that comparison out for anyone, honestly the whole 97 speech sums it up pretty well. what i would like to say is i think caleb has found hope in essek, for essek, in a way that i don’t quite think he’s managed to do for himself yet. like he’s gotten a lot better, but i think a symptom of getting better is that you see your flaws more clearly, and i think that’s very much happening to him right now. i think he sees himself as the same (or possibly even worse), regardless of how far he’s come. (see “i am ruined” to fjord.) i think essek is a mirror for him in which he sees himself more clearly without even realizing that that’s what he’s doing. he sees a selfish person who has done selfish things and hurt people in the process. and he also sees someone with a conscience and empathy who is extremely capable of doing real good. he sees someone with potential. someone with kindness in his soul. someone who could take his guilt and turn it into action, maybe to soothe some of that guilt the way caleb started, and maybe to eventually leave that behind, and do good for the sake of doing good. he sees someone in pain who is in need of support and a friend like beau to nudge him in the right direction.

and beau sees someone who has done selfish things for selfish reasons and does not show nearly enough remorse for it. she sees someone who has caused death and pain out of carelessness and pride and misplaced judgement. she sees someone who values his own gains over the lives of others and justifies that to make himself feel better, and i think that’s exactly the kind of authority figure that beau hates most. she sees someone who better fucking prove that this remorse is real or so help me god i’ll show you what remorse is.

and i think caleb (unfortunately like so much of this fandom with various characters) has latched onto essek as this mirror of himself, and i think at this point any judgement that beau passes on essek will reflect unfortunately on caleb. and the worst part is, beau isn’t going to see that. she wasn’t there for the razor speech. i think to her it’s obvious what she thinks of caleb: he’s a person who’s done some fucked up shit, sure, but he is someone who cares deeply about getting better and has proven himself to be a kind, unwavering person over and over again. he’s more than alright in her book. whereas essek hasn’t really done anything to win him anywhere near the same kind of rapport with her. clearly, in her mind, they are different. why should they be otherwise?

but caleb is going to hear any criticism and, i think, just apply it straight on to himself. i think he thinks that he and essek are so similar that any cut towards essek is a cut towards him. i think he is going to be deeply hurt, i think it’s going to feel like a betrayal--like a revocation of the trust that beau has in him--and i think beau is going to have no idea.

[burnedbyshoto]

shallow or deep

— “Why would you want a guy with such a large and disgusting burn?” he whispered, his tone thoroughly rejected, broken. It was then that it hit you: did he think he wasn't good enough for you. —

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pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

warnings: fluff, angst (insecurities), cursing

word count: 2,544

a/n: I took the shouto has an insecurity over his scar even if it isnt that deep headcanon and ran with it, I hope yall enjoy this!!!! its been awhile since ive managed to write a fic in a single day!!!

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“You’re quite the handsome man!”

“Oh, thank you.”

“But that scar... don’t you want to get that fixed? I know someone with a quirk who can fix that up for you!”

“Thank you for your concern, but I think I am content with it.”

~

“Without a doubt, you are by far one of the most attractive Pro Heroes to have existed!”

“Thank you for your compliment, but I think it’s my ability to—”

“Don’t you think you would look hotter without your scar? Have you ever considered getting it removed?”

“...no, I haven’t…”

~

“Just imagine how Shouto would look like without his scar, here are some edited pictures for reference!”

“Wow, if I didn’t want to give him my life already, I would sell my soul to the devil to get with a scarless Shouto…”

“I don’t know, I think the scars sexy! Like look at it, it makes him so mysterious and badass! Guys with scars are so fucking hot! But in my opinion, without the scar? Shouto isn’t shit!”

“Guys with scars are hot, I’ll give you that, but not one-fourth of the face scars! He’s extremely handsome still, but it’s a bit tacky for the scar to be there. If it had been like Deku’s arm and hand scars — hell, even Eraserheads face scar — he would be so much finer.”

~

“And just how did you get your scar, Shouto?”

The American interviewer who sat in front of Shouto during this live national interview had the kindest smile on her face, but to the Pro Heroes who sat on the stage alongside Shouto could recognize that shark-like glint in her eyes. Her face was calm, tranquil, beautiful, but her eyes sent bitter acid through the Heroes mouth.

“I’ve already explained what happened in a previous interview,” Shouto spoke calmly, his fingers digging into his knees.

Your eyes looked over to your boyfriend, who seemed to be trying everything in his power to remain calm. You’d only seen this happen through a screen, never in real life.

The interviewer seemed unconcerned with his rebuttal, most likely expecting this from the man who wasn’t one for repeating big stories. Her chin tilted up almost like she was looking down on him, looking down on who he was. 

“Well then, I’ll bite,” she leaned forward, and you felt on edge to attack, but a hand gripped your wrist when a cruel smirk spread on her face. “Do you resent your mother for burning you that night? How do you feel about the fact that it was your mother who ruined your charming looks?”

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The car was silent.

Your eyes tried to remain focused on the road ahead of you, but to your misplaced anger and hurt, you focused on the side of Shouto’s face every so often while he drove.

The radio wasn’t even on, something the both of you enjoyed blasting because you would sing stupidly loud and Shouto would hum along in his own mirth. The only sound heard was the tires driving against the gravel road and your irritated breathing. 

The two of you had dropped off your friends five minutes ago, the once awkwardly tense car melting to this angry silence between the two of you in the front. 

You hadn’t defended him on live television because Momo held you back, and Shouto allowed the interviewer to defile his family’s past abuse with her keen touch. The silence between the two of you was also irritating you.

Once the interview was done, Shouto had been the first to rise from his chair and to leave. And you were hot on his heels. You hadn’t been forgiving to Shouto when you finally corned him.

“How could you let her talk to you like that, Shouto?” you blazoned, your heart hammering in your chest, anger, humiliation, and sorrow riling you up. “She was a total fucking cunt, and you just took it!”

Shouto stared down at you, that old yet familiar distant look in his eyes — that anger that burned brighter than any fire he could produce flaming in both eyes. 

“Drop it, y/n,” he all but hissed, his face stone, his tone fierce. “You don’t need to fight every single fucking thing that makes me uncomfortable.”

Those words weren’t enough to make you drop it, had it been any other fight you would have continued to press him for what was wrong with him, but it was that look in his eyes. The old look that you had sworn long ago you’d never allow to meet his eyes again.

The anger, humiliation, and broken look that he used to wear every day.

When Shouto finally parked, he didn’t hesitate to get out of the car, the door slamming loudly while you stumbled to follow after him. 

But he was tall, too tall, and was in the house well before you could close your own door. It didn’t deter the way that you stormed towards the house, the devil, and god riding on your shoulder in this battle to figure out what the hell was wrong with Shouto.

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“I don’t resent my mother,” Shouto cooly stated. “It was an unfortunate accident, but fortunately, it hasn’t kept me from anything. I still have complete sight and functionality, so I’m okay. I could never resent my mother.”

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“Won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” you ask, coming into the house.

This was Shouto’s house, something that Endeavor had gifted to him in his expression of apology. He and his siblings had been given their own homes the moment they turned twenty, and shortly after starting your relationship, he had asked you to move in.

You both were now twenty-three. You were neither each other's firsts on many levels, but there was no denying that this was the best relationship the both of you had. You comforted each other to no level, loved each other like no other. It was almost a shame that you didn’t have any feelings for your old classmate during high school because maybe then you’d been together for longer than a year.

But nevertheless, the two of you held no regrets. His house had become yours with him.

It was a bright place, no matter how dull the day was, it was always vivacious and warm in here.

But not now.

The door closed behind you, and you saw Shouto standing at the kitchen table, head lowered, arms tense. The world seemed grey, dull, and cold. You almost swore the house’s temperature was ten degrees cooler while you approached your boyfriend, who appeared to be trapped in his thoughts.

You neared him, your own anger diminishing slowly when you saw the shadows over his eyes, his teeth gnashing in a grit. 

Sorrow, humiliation, guilt.

That’s all you could read from him, but you needed more from him.

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The interviewer seems to have expected that answer for she remains unfazed, but that predatorial glint in her eyes remains. The eyes of someone who hasn’t shown off their strongest of cards.

“How about relationship-wise? Have any of the beautiful ladies you’ve dated or have wanted to court in the past told you that you’d be much more handsome without it? Don’t you wish that you could be more normal for y/h/n?”

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“Why would you want a guy with such a large and disgusting burn?” he whispered, his tone thoroughly rejected, broken. It was then that it hit you: did he think he wasn't good enough for you.

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You stood up, the chair you were sitting on scraping loudly against the black floor. The interviewer snapped her attention on you for just a moment, eyes sparkling with the thrill of getting a dramatic reaction from someone.

But Momo and Uraraka held you down, and Sero’s tape came across your mouth to keep you from talking your mind.

“There have been words like that before,” Shouto says, his voice steely smooth. “But as you can see, I’m not dating anyone who shares those same opinions.”

The interviewer seemed to deflate at that answer, obviously not the juicy breakdown she was hoping for. She continued down the mass interview with the most successful class from UA’s hero program, and you continued to fume in your seat. Anger that couldn’t even be quieted by the sour emotions coming off of Shouto in large waves.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“W-What?” you say almost in a horrified whisper.

Your eyes were wide, unsure if you had heard Shouto correctly. You prayed you had. A fist clenched on your chest, your gaze followed Shouto’s clouded face when he stood up completely.

“You heard me right,” he repeats, his focus on the wall. Finally, his blue and grey eyes focus on you; they’re distant, so far away, you weren’t sure if you could get him back anytime soon. A soft sigh ragged in his chest, nearly choking in his throat when he looked at you. “I was never insecure about my scar growing up… I didn’t have anything in sight except for wanting to be a hero, and hell, even through high school, it didn’t matter. No one in our class mentioned it, and I went on to believe that it while it wasn’t normal, it was in some way.” His hands found your cheeks, pressing onto them gently, and you could feel them tremble slightly. “Then I finally liked someone romantically, and we were thrust into the crazy world of media, and I realized that my burn isn’t normal.”

“S-Shouto…”

“The first person I ever dated told me they knew someone who would fix it up for me for free. The second person… well, they were an idiot and thought if we had children, the burn would be transferred over. More and more people both privately and publicly told me that I would be s-so much better without it… Do you think I’d be better without it?” his lips twisted, and you could only stare up in his eyes that seemed so far away so broken. “Even the ones who liked it, it was some weird fetish of theirs… the truth is, I don’t know how to feel about it. I shouldn’t hate it because it’s who I am, but I hate it because people always have some opinion about it, and no matter what I hear, it always pisses me off. I just… you’re beautiful, y/n. You’re the person in my life that I never want to see leave, and I know that it’s shallow to value people only for their beauty, but I’m not beautiful. Scars and burns are not beautiful, they’re ugly... My looks are decent at best, but that’s all that makes me desirable. Not you, though. You’re gorgeous, your personality and attitude never fail to make everyone feel better, and yet you’re here with me… why would you love someone like me?”

There it was.

His eyes kept to your feet as if he wasn’t worthy of staring you in the face. His hands continue to hold against you in a weak grasp, as if he pressed any harder against you, you would crumble to dust or say you hated him. 

Your hands grasped his wrists, pressing his hands even more against your skin. It was an intense action, so out of the blue that his eyes snapped up to meet yours finally. 

Shouto wasn’t sure what to expect when he looked at your face; he knew you were upset about the interview, and truthfully he wished he hadn’t warned Uraraka, Momo, and Sero to keep you down when those questions were asked — should they have been proposed. He also expected tears, you were always one to be more emotional than he was. 

What he didn’t expect were steely yet warm eyes.

“You’re an idiot, Todoroki Shouto,” you finally speak. You took a step closer to him, your heartbeat in your throat. This was a raw Shouto standing before you. A Shouto, you had no idea how he reacted, no matter how much you knew him. So, if this was a rebuilding scene, a moment to get him to see what you saw, you would take it. “You’re right, scars and burns are ugly. They shouldn’t be romanticized. It’s also not the same as others, who take scars as a sign of overcoming hardships and victory. Your scar is one of a kind… but like you’ve said, shallow traits aren’t enough…” Your chin trembled just the slightest bit, but you couldn’t let yourself cry. No, you had to be strong for him. “You’re the kindest person I know, which knowing the saint that is Midoriya and All Might, it means a lot. I don’t mean it because you’re my boyfriend, or because I want you to feel better, but you had every reason to not be kind in your life and look at you, you’re gentle, you’re sweet. You also speak your mind, no matter what. Your opinions are valuable, and that’s why you’re such a great leader. You were made to become a hero that surpassed All Might, and you did it without ever once going down the road your father had intended for you. You did that. But if we’re going to be looking at the shallow traits, we can do that.

Your scar is a sign of growth. It’s ugly, and it’s beautiful. It’s ugly because it makes you feel like you’re not good for me. It’s ugly because it was such a dark time for you when it came. It’s ugly because it’s an insecurity. But I also see beauty. It’s beautiful because it’s another place I can tenderly love at night. It’s beautiful because who you were back then is just a scar of who you were. It’s beautiful because it’s a source of your strength despite it all. You can think whatever you want of it, Shouto, think it’s good or bad, but because it’s apart of you I have to and I choose to love it. Why would I ever want you to change who you are if you’re comfortable with it? What kind of lover would I be if I decided to love everything but one part of you?” your fingers trailed to his scarred skin, the red skin forever warm under your touch. “Shallow or deep, I will never stop loving you.”

Tears fell from his eyes, and his lips crashed against yours.

The two of you sink to the floor in this wet and sweet embrace. Lips never tearing from each other, fingers wistfully holding on, a silent prayer to each other of your devotions, and hope to never leave each other’s sides. Your fingers continued to stroke against his scar, and he held you so close until you could no longer kiss.

So your wet and bruised lips pressed against his warm scar, gentle and soft reminders that you were there for him until his faint cries became steady breathing.

Todoroki Shouto may never get over the insecurity of his scar, but he’d be damned if he thought for a second whether it was there or not, you’d love him any more or any less. You loved him entirely, and for that, he was forever grateful.

[whimsicallyreading]

Dark Roast No Sugar

Chapter Three

Aelin would never admit it out loud, but a day off was just what she needed. She spent the morning napping, snacking, and reading. Her stomach settled, and when she took off her shoes, her feet didn't look like they belonged to a bloated cadaver.

 Spending that time with Aedion was also refreshing. He kept the conversations light. Telling her about the antics between hostesses at The Pits, a run-in between Ren and the police. A story about the drug dealer they'd roughed up and how he'd pissed his pant when he saw Aedion and the stray puppy Kyllian had snuck into The Den.

 When they got hungry, Aedion offered to make them a late lunch. Her mouth watered at the prospect of his famous grilled cheese with two kinds of cheeses and ketchup.

 Lysandra came up to join them for lunch and her nose wrinkled at the sight of them dragging the cheesy goodness through globs of red sauce. "By the dark god, you two. That's disgusting."

 Aedion grins, a dot of ketchup on his chin, "You haven't even tried it yet. This meal is a riot with the guys and saved my ass with foster siblings." He wiped his face on his sleeve and leaned back in his chair. "You don't shit on the kid who can actually make edible food."

 Aelin laughs and dusts her hands off like a lady. "Actually, you don't shit on the kid who looks like he started doping at eleven. But yeah, I'm sure it was your budget lunches that saved you."

 "Shut up, you love it when I cook," Aedion collected their plates.

 Lysandra pulls up the chair next to Aelin's at their tiny, rickety table. She set down her container of salad, looking classier with her more mature pallet. Aelin swiped a cucumber from the top and chewed into the seasoned veggie. "Your food is nostalgic. What can I say?"

 Aedion's playful demeanor seemed to deflate suddenly, a furrow creasing his brow. "I suppose why I have you two together, we should talk some business."

 "Uh oh, that doesn't sound good." Lysandra tensed up, shooting a worried look at Aelin.

 "Is it the bidding for this month? I told you I could get at least an extra hundred dollars to you by the end of the month. If you need more, I could-"

 Aedion cut off Aelin's rambling with a raised hand. "It's not the bidding. Elias pulled enough to cover our bets for the month." Relief flooded through her, and she breathed out a sigh of relief.

 The underground fighting game in Orynth was wildly exclusive. To get a spot during prime hours when tickets were hot and the betting pool was hotter, the local gangs had to participate in an auction. It was pricey, but the cuts you got from winning a fight made up for it big time.

  Unfortunately, the Bane was not a wealthy group of men. A lot of them had families or relatives they were supporting. They usually scavenged up enough money to get two or three guys into the fights, and those funds were just enough to pull them through to the next month.

 Like Aelin, those families did what they could to fund money towards the bidding. Initially, she was going to volunteer as a fighter, but she found out about the baby, and they all agreed it was too risky for her to get in the ring. As soon as she was cleared, she still intended to participate in the fights to Aedion's chagrin.

 Between the extra patrols of her street and snuffing the rumors of her existence in the city, it took a chunk of the Bane's recourses and time. Aedion assured her that the guys understood her circumstances, but she contributed as much as she could monetarily until she could contribute physically as well. "What's going on then?"

 "Rolf took a beating in the ring last night. He's going to be out of commission for a while, but we didn't lose any money. He managed to bust the guy's head at the last moment and pulled through." He paused.

 Aelin was confused, though. It wasn't uncommon for one of the guys to get roughed up a bit, so long as they didn't lose, there wasn't an issue. "That's too bad about Rolf, but I don't see the problem?" she pushed him to continue.

 "He swears the guy was tripping on Synth," Aedion breathes out, pained.

 Oh.

 "Shit," Lysandra swears and stands up. "Is he sure it was Synth?"

 "It's kinda hard to rutting mistake, Lysandra," Aedion snapped. He was right, though. The Pits had rules against cheating, but they were followed loosely. If they couldn't see a knife being pulled, the fight wouldn't be called. Some of the Bane even doped before a match just so they wouldn't get caught at a disadvantage.

 Synth had a lot of physical effects. Adrenalin coursed through the user at such high rates it was practically superhuman. It gave them crazy speed, strength, and heightened focus. On the flip side, it also caused fever, bulged veins, twitching, bloodshot eyes, and uncontrollable rage as you came down. It would be hard to mistake it for any other street drug. Aelin had taken Synth once before, and it wasn't an easily forgettable experience.

 The detail they were glossing over was that only one person was currently capable of leaking a drug like Synth on the streets.

Arobynn Hammel

 "So," Aelin finally said, breaking up the heated glares they were sharing. "He's making his presence in Orynth known."

 Quiet.

 "We can't know it for sure," Aedion looked at her with a sickening amount of pity. Aelin didn't want sympathy or comforting falsities. She wanted the truth.

 "Bullshit," Aelin declared, making Aedion wince at the sudden sharpness. "We've had sightings of Tern and Mulligan already. We knew he was sending eyes out. They must have seen us."

 Lysandra sunk back into her chair and rested her head in her hands. "I thought we made it?" her voice sounded extraordinarily young, feeble. Not at all like the vivacious woman they were used to seeing.

 "Lys," it was Aelin's turn to rest a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder.

 Her eyes were glassy and hollow when she looked up. "I really had myself believing we made it."

 Aelin's heart broke for her.

 Arobynn was a sick son of a bitch. She, Lysandra, and Sam had all come into his care at different times and served various functions within the Manor. One thing was the same though, they were all children.

 They were all coerced into doing grotesque things for Arobynn's sake. Things that they should, in all honesty, spend years in therapy to recover from. Yet, some horrors were too big for even Aelin to pretend to understand.

 Horrors that Lysandra was forced to live with every day.

 Arobynn's unofficial mistress.

 Aedion's fist slamming against the table startled them both and snapped Aelin from her thoughts. Lysandra flinched and leaned closer to Aelin. "It doesn't matter."

  He pointed his finger at them and then stabbed it into the table. "It. Does. Not. Matter. Where that piece of shit is. Rifthold? Wendelyn? He can be an hour away or watering the rutting flowers next door, but he will never have either of you ever again." The golden core in Aedion's eyes was molten.

 The excitement was too much for Lysandra, and the dam behind her eyes broke. Deep, heavy sobs ripped from her chest, and her body wilted forward like a wind-whipped flower.

 They moved at the same time, but Aedion was faster. He pulled Lysandra from her seat and gathered her against his chest, shushing her and whispering sweet nothings into her hair.

 The bells rang downstairs.

 Aedion looked up helplessly, but Aelin raised a hand and mouthed, "It's fine."

 None of them wanted Lysandra to be alone right now.

 Aelin slipped her shoes back on and hopped down the stairs quickly. Hopefully, they wouldn't be too pissed no one was behind the counter when they walked in, she mused to herself. It only took her half-a-minute to get downstairs, but it was amazing the things people got outraged over.

 Mala forgive that the coffee gets in their hand a second later than usual.

 "Do my eyes deceive me, or was Aelin Galathynius taking a break?" Dorian Havilliard's greeted her with a bright smile and upraised hands. No trace of agitation at all.

 Chaol Westfall stood behind him and meekly tilted his chin. "Hello, Aelin."

 "Hello, Chaol." She greets him with a smile and walks into Dorian's outstretched arms. Aelin wasn't a hugger, but Dorian's hugs had a magic to them.

 "Where did you go?" Dorian asked without breaking his grasp. "I never thought I'd see the day you weren't slaving away behind the counter grinding beans."

 "We weren't super busy today, and I wasn't feeling the best," Aelin admitted.

 Dorian pulled away slightly to look down at her in concern. His dark, thick-framed blue light glasses slipping down his nose.

 "It's just the baby," she assures him. "Not the flu or anything. You don't have the right parts to catch what I've got."

 Chaol snickered, but Dorian's concern only worsened. "In all seriousness, you aren't working yourself too hard?"

 Aelin rolled her eyes. If one more person asked her that-

 "I'm fine, Dor. It was just some morning sickness and a stressful customer that came through. No big deal."

 His shoulders relax, and he releases her from his arms. "I believe you. Just-" he fumbles for the words to say, "If you have troublesome people coming in here and bothering you, let me know? Chaol can come over and hang out for the day. He has a friend, Nesryn. If it gets bad, I am more than willing to hire her-"

 Aelin smiled at him and waved at him. "No need for bodyguards. People are rude. It happens. Now, what can I get for the both of you?"

 Dorian was the son of the esteemed son of Dorian Sr. The owner of Adarlan Vaults, the most extensive banking chain across Erilea. It was a total accident that they stumbled into each other when Aelin went in looking for a loan to start The Stag with.

 At first, he was a bit of a flirt with her. When Aelin made it clear that she wasn't interested in his advances, Dorian backed off right away and fell into the role of the supportive friend. He and Chaol had been the first patrons of the shop when the doors opened.

 Chaol was technically his hired protection, but he and Dorain were life long friends bound by something more powerful than money. She never saw the two of them apart. While he appeared to be a quiet sort, he had a sharp mind and fierce loyalty that Aelin admired.

 "Two iced girl scout americano's," Dorian pulled out his wallet and handed her a twenty. "Large, please."

 Aelin accepted the cash and started filling cups as the two took their standard seats. She just got the espresso machine heated when a set of hands pushed her's aside and began flipping the switches for her.

 "Aedion," she groaned as his hip bumped her to the side, and he took over her tasks. "Seriously?"

 "You are supposed to be taking the day off," he looks at her pointedly. "Go sit with your friends. I've got this."

 "Do you have this?" Aelin set a hand on her hip. "You haven't used these machines before."

 Aedion scoffed, "It cannot be that complicated. Now go. Before Lysandra comes back down and wipes the floor with both of our asses." He pulls out two large mugs and grabs out a bottle of coconut flavoring. "Baby A is shielding you for now, but that woman has the memory of a rutting elephant. Don't think you can hide behind my niece or nephew forever." He's more talking to himself by the end as he starts over pouring syrups into cups. Did he even know what he was making? Aelin winced.

 She might have to return the twenty to Dorian.

 Aelin walks away reluctantly, "Mind if I sit here for a minute, boys?"

 Chaol stands up and pulls a chair out for her, "Not at all."

 He holds out a hand to help her sit, but she waves it away. She wasn't that pregnant yet.  

 Dorian has a hardbound book sitting in front of him, the face of his expensive watch catching the light as he turns the page. "I haven't seen you by the bank this week," he says without looking up from the page.

 "We've been enjoying the peace," Chaol sits back in his own seat and flashes her a grin. "That's a joke, of course. It's been horribly boring."

 "It's been a busy week. I haven't had a chance to drop my deposit off yet." Aelin typically made an excuse to visit the bank at least once a week. Dorian would kindly excuse whatever teller was working to take a break and promptly close the register so they could sit in the break room and talk over cookies and drip coffee.

 She was planning on going yesterday, but her feathers were too ruffled after the incident.

 "I suppose I can live without that excuse since I've taken it upon myself to visit you at work." He pulls a plastic bag filled with assorted chocolates and places it on the table between them. "If you need to drop off a deposit, I can take it back with me?"

 Aelin's hand darts to the bag of sweets and pulls out a dark, salty square. "Have I mentioned you are the most attractive man I've ever met?"

 They hear a loud scoff from the kitchen.

 "You've mentioned it a few times." He glances up from his book long enough to wink at her. "What about that deposit?"

 "I don't think I will have a big enough deposit to warrant the trip this week," the excuse isn't well-formed, and she hears it when the lie falls from her lips.

 "You said you had a busy week?" Dorian frowns.

 I did, but I'm putting aside extra money to fund my cousin's gang because my former foster father has a hit out on me.

 "The tips have been bad" not a total lie. "Maybe it will pick up again over the weekend," Aelin shrugs nonchalantly.  

 Aedion walks over with two cups of coffee and a mug of tea. He lets Dorian's drink slosh over the side as he sets it down. Dorian lifts his book away from the mess and glares.

 She wasn't sure what went down between Dorian and Aedion that made them hate each other. Chaol and Aedion had no qualms. They were even drinking buddies on the weekend, but Aedion had a bone to pick with Dorian long before she'd arrived back in Orynth.

 Aelin half-heartedly scolded Aedion as she accepted her drink. Taking a deep drink from the mug, she was surprised to find that it was made exactly as she liked.

 Chaol sipped his coffee, and Aelin watched as he barely held back a grimace. Dorian reached for his own cup, but Chaol discretely pulled it away before he could drink. Aelin caught the motion, but thankfully Aedion was already back in the kitchen and hadn't noticed.

 "I will remake those for you before you leave," Aelin assured them.

 "It's alright. As much as I love coffee, I really came by to spill tea," Dorian took his glasses off and leaned back in his chair.

 "Gossip," Chaol translated. "He means gossip."

 Dorian rolls his eyes, "That's what tea means, Chaol." Leaning forward with his elbows on the table, "A company called Wendlyn Ops. bought out The Pits."

 "What?" Aelin shouts a little too loudly. Dorian shushes her, and Aedion peers out from the kitchen with worried eyes. She waves him away and whispers in a quieter tone. "What do you mean The Pits have been bought out? What for?"

 "I didn't realize you would care this much about the seediest bar in town," Dorian laughed. "It's not like you can drink."

 "You aren't drinking, right?" Chaol scowls.

 Aelin reins back her emotions. She was definitely losing her tack being off the job for several months, but the secret basement underneath The Pits was where the fights were usually held. Iona Jayne would never sell the property when it brought in so much money.

 He either owed someone a rutting ton of money, he was being blackmailed, or the most likely option.

 Iona Jayne was dead.

 Aelin flipped Chaol off, "Of course I'm not drinking. No promises on that in about five months... Just, who would want The Pits? Are they repurposing it?" She can already feel a headache forming behind her eyes.

 "That's the interesting part," Chaol murmured. "The title for The Pits was transferred to a new owner just a few days before it was sold for triple its market value."

 Dorian's grin became mischievous, "Shady deals are going on, and I'm determined to find out what."

 Shit. Shit. Shit.

 Aelin forced a matching smile on her, "Well, this sounds like the making of an adventure."

 Aedion was deeply involved with all the goings-on at The Pits. If Dorian managed to learn too much and expose them, he would go down hard. She wasn't directly implicated in anything beyond a little racketeering, but one prolonged look at her record would raise some eyebrows. Which could tie her back to Rifthold and numerous murders. A lot of murder. Thievery. Hired assassinations.

 They would be screwed, essentially.

 Damn it all to hellas, she needed to talk to Aedion. Aelin understood why Dorian was interested in this. His father was involved with so many corrupt dealings they followed him like a shadow. She knew he was socially isolated beyond herself and Chaol. No one dared to associate with the son of Dorian Sr.

 Unveiling a corrupt business dealing and aiding the community could help separate his image from his father's. Rectify some of the wrongs his family has committed. Give him a chance at making a future for himself out from Dorian Sr.'s thumb.

 Aelin just wished he knew the depth of the task he was taking. How deep, dark, and dangerous this viper's den was. Sweet, sheltered Dorian Jr. would be eaten alive. A blue-eyed pup, trapped in the jaws of an adder.

 Little did he know that Aelin was a wolf herself, and she would not stand for that breaking.

 Aelin directed the conversation to safer grounds following the bomb he dropped. They discussed the book he was reading, the litter of pups his dog was expecting, his disgusting little brother. Chaol seemed to sour at the mention of Holland.

 Soon they were provided with fresh drinks, and Aelin ushered them out under the pretense of needing a nap. Definitely not a lie. Her stomach was rolling again, and that blooming headache was now a whole damn rosebush in her brain.

 Rubbing the knot between her eyes, she made the difficult decision of closing for the day. Business was slow. Lysandra hadn't come back downstairs. Aelin wasn't feeling well, and there was no chance she was letting Aedion use her precious machines again.

 Aelin looked outside the window. It was grey and dreary outside. Perfect conditions for the three of them to order pizza, rent a movie and just put this day behind them.

 "Aedion, I'm closing up." She didn't hear a reply. Aelin shrugged it off. He'd probably gone back up to sit with Lysandra.

 She opened a can of coffee grounds and inhaled wistfully. What she wouldn't give for a cup of straight caffeine. With one last longing sniff, Aelin refilled canisters for tomorrow and got to cleaning up the machines.

 All that was left was to close up the registers.

 She'd just unlocked the drawer when the ring of the shop bells went off.

 "Sorry, we're closed," Aelin said without looking away from the task at hand. She would have to remember to lock the doors first next time.

 Heavy boots thudded against her wooden floors as whoever it was approached the counter. Her irritation peeked. What was with the influx of entitled assholes lately?

 "We are close-" Aelin's stopped and her eyes narrowed at the gun barrel aimed at the center of her forehead.

I’m figuring out how the tagging list thing works- ☺️

If you would like me to add or take your name off the list for future updates let me know~

@thisismylibrary

@highladywhitethrone

@bee55

@royalsqueeze

@rowaelin-cressworth

@sjmships

[theravennest]

Let’s Talk: The Blooms at Ruyi Pavilion

I finished all 40 eps about two weeks ago, actually. I enjoyed it for the most part, the 1st half especially, but there were several things near the end that took me out. 

But first some of the good bits...

The cast chemistry was immaculate. Our four main lead actors were a lot of fun together. Not just Zhang Zhehan and Ju Jing Yi, but also Wang You Shuo and Xu Jiaqi (Loved them!). The four of them have such obvious ease with each other after their previous work together in Legend of Yun Xi and it made scenes with any combination of the main four really pop. 

I was especially drawn to the sisters’ relationship and the Prince-Vassal bond going on between Prince Su and Little Marquis. (Y’all know I’m a sucker for both sibling stories and stories about fictional royals and their loyal vassals.)

Most of the ancillary characters were interesting, actually. As y’all know from my last post about this one, I was crack shipping like crazy all the side characters. 😂 This cast made it easy for me.

Except for Prince An. (Sorry to hit the bad so early.) Good god, I hated that man. His character was poorly drawn in pretty much every way, which is unfortunate cuz he’s the main antagonist. Any story with a main antagonist that just doesn’t work is always gonna be weaker.

Also, no offense to people who like that actor but he was the only cast member who did absolutely nothing for me in terms of performance. So much of the story was focused on his weaksauce motivation and dry acting like, my god, put me out of my misery I do not care.

Anyway, the set design and costuming was top notch and I even enjoyed the broader story ideas the show was trying to put forth. The sitcom vibe of the first 20 eps or so was SOOO good. Our four mains’ comedic timings were pitch perfect. 

Unfortunately, the writing took a sharp nosedive in the back 3rd or so and it had a rough ending. (The lightning strike on the tower scene, the fight in the underground temple, the return of Prince An’s mom...all of that was trash. let’s be real.)

I mostly blame this on three things: the missteps with the Prince An character, the lack of development of Rong’s prophetic dreams even though that was the main premise of the show, and the jump-the-shark moment that was the wedding night and its subsequently underwritten fallout. 

Now to clarify, I don’t mean to say the wedding night event shouldn’t have happened at all but rather the execution of it within the story was poor and it negatively impacted 90% of the other character motivations/progressions and the overall pacing. 

You know, it felt like that thing you do as a writer where you wake up and have a specific scene in your mind. It’s evocative, impactful, fun, or otherwise intense. But you just have that scene and it’s something that would have to happen in the middle of your story. So you work your way backwards to try to get to that scene and you do your best to get the characters to make decisions to get there but when you sit down to write nothing works out. It’s clunky or OOC for the scene to still happen so you end up having to either scrap the evocative scene or keep the clunky lead up and hope no one notices. That’s what that wedding scene and everything that happened after felt like. They wrote themselves into a corner and just struggled to recover until the bitter end. 

The main pairing suffered the most because of the poor writing choices. No matter how much chemistry ZZH and JJY have together, even they could not completely salvage Rong’s yo-yoing behavior with Prince Su. They started off so wholesome and then dove into such toxicity and miscommunication for no reason. 

Don’t get me wrong. I can very easily enjoy angst. But Fu Rong consistently broke this man down. After ep 25-26, it stopped being good angst and became so awful to watch all the emotional manipulation and turmoil. There’s something broken in the writing if 9 out of 10 times Prince Su cried or fell into depression it was because of something Rong did or said to him after jumping to a conclusion with only part of the puzzle pieces gathered. 

I could forgive some stuff because Prince An was manipulating things but some stuff was just all Rong not giving Prince Su the benefit of the doubt or plain old not doing her due diligence in investigating. She is supposed to have inherited the most prolific and successful spy organization in the show and she still got 90% of her conclusions wrong. It was like she was determined to always think the worst of Prince Su no matter what despite how often he went above and beyond to help her. Despite the fact that he literally had a reputation as a general for being a harsh taskmaster but fair and just. 

I think what broke me was when she did the bare minimum investigation into her own father’s death and just fully blamed Prince Su without confronting him honestly or even considering his personality or their relationship up until that point. She really believed a single street seller’s entire testimony over the man she lived with and supposedly loved for months. Girl...

And this is after she’d previously mistakenly accused him of killing her mentor with very few facts to the point where she stabbed him on their wedding night.

There came a point where I actually wanted Prince Su to finally, truly divorce Rong and settle down with someone who could love him right. Maybe give him time to heal from the repeated heartbreaks, betrayals, and the literal stab wound in his chest but he was so fucking in love with Rong, he just couldn’t escape.

(If there were behind the scenes production reasons for the clunky-ness of the back half, I would not be surprised at all but ultimately they don’t matter cuz the story we got was the story we got.)

Imagine if we had gotten a Rong who used her prophetic dreams to navigate the cut throat world of royal politics. Or imagine if we’d gotten Rong as a true apprentice to Ruyi who learned both metalsmithing and spycraft in the first half and took over the pavilion as a competent leader in the second half. As it stands, it just felt like wasted potential.

I’m glad they had the modern day special AU eps tho cuz those were great. Zhang Zhehan and Ju Jing Yi had the opportunity to really showcase their incredible chemistry but in a modern setting and with better writing than the back 3rd of BRYP.

Now let’s talk Zhang Zhehan since he was the reason I started this in the first place. I loved him in this. I truly did. He was stern and serious but also playful and sweet. He was romantic but awkward, badass but vulnerable. He really delivered a nuanced and charming performance. I loved every second.

I think my favorite moment wasn’t some badass fight or even a super romantic moment. No, it was when he got drunk and started crying like a little baby cuz Rong was constantly doubting him no matter what he did. It was simultaneously sad and hilarious. Like gut busting funny. Y’all can watch it here:

I laughed so fucking hard at this. Oh my god, guys! This shit was too much.

Random Thoughts:

The romance between the 2nd leads was A+. Truly an adorable affair. Though I think they should’ve gotten together officially earlier around ep 25 or so and we should’ve seen the rest with them as a couple.

The costuming was so good y’all. For all the main four characters but I was especially drawn to Prince Su’s outfits.

The ghostly pale look with the bright red lips and eyeshadow makeup for Rong did not bother me at all. I actually liked it for her though I think it would’ve worked better if she’d had more explicit prophetic abilities.

I could’ve used more actual war scenes with Prince Su and Little Marquis.

The OST for the show SLAPPED!

That one kid spy in Ruyi Pavilion was voiced by the same actor as Chengling from WOH and I have never double-taked harder. lmao

Even though there were things I didn’t like in this show, I appreciated how gay I could make it in my last post. Truly it was a bisexual’s dream aesthetically.

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

here’s 5.7k of the unsinkable 8 during the zombie apocalypse. good for fans of leatin and goodfoe. it’s super unedited and i’m mainly just posting it for fun cause i finished it today. some references to world war z the book for fun, and i used the zombies from that too.

A flash of blonde and Dot’s gun went up, pointed directly at the head of whatever made their way toward her. She had two bullets left, six cigarettes, and the last mini of hard liquor she raided from the motel back in Aquilla.

She’d have to get it in one shot, which would be hard sitting down, with her back to it, half delirious.

She grunted as she pulled herself around, her leg still out in the makeshift splint. The zed crept closer, not going at the usual hobbling pace. It definitely had caught her scent though, maybe it was down a few limbs already.

She cocked her gun, flicking off the safety, keeping her finger off the trigger. She’d wait until she could see the whites of its eyes. Get it in one shot.

The blonde head crept closer and she finally tucked her gun over the rocks, making eye contact with it for the first time.

“Shelby Goodkind?”

“Dot Campbell?”

Shelby stared at her, lowering her own gun and Dot let out a breath of relief.

“Dottie, oh my god, I thought you were one of ‘em.” She put away her gun, Dot doing the same and she ran over. “It’s so good to see ya, what’s wrong?” She looked at the leg, her face paling.

“Ankles broken,” Dottie muttered. “Was gonna treat myself to one last drink,” she gestured at the bottle.

“Oh lord,” Shelby said. “Well that’s no good, I got a place not to far from here I’ve been camping out in. Some first aid stuff too.”

“I can’t give you anything back for it,” Dot said.

“We both know two people are more likely to make it,” Shelby said.

She looked sunburned and hollowed out, a little hungrier than the last time Dot saw her, headed with her family to that military base. She was alone, and desperate, everyone was. Because here was how it went in Texas. You could trust a stranger as far as you could throw ‘em, but you needed people to live. So if you had people, you lived. And Dot was people, or as close to people as Shelby was willing to get. She musta lost a lot to lower her standards so far.

“Alright,” Dot said. “We’re gonna have to go slow and you’re gonna have to carry a lot of shit.”

“No problem,” Shelby beamed.

Back at the camp, an old rusting trailer with some battery Shelby told her she was saving for a rainy day, Shelby re-splinted her, fed and watered her, and they pooled their resources. Twenty-six cigs now, which might get ‘em a few hours in a safe car north, if they wanted it. Or it might get ‘em some food, or a get out of jail free card, depending on the hunger of the people hunting ‘em.

It was late at night when Dot realized she hadn’t even asked yet.

“Family’s gone then?”

“Yeah,” Shelby said. “You?”

“My dad died before this shit show,” Dot said.

“Lucky,” Shelby said. She took a swig from the mini, and passed it over to Dot. “What’s your plan?”

“I heard there was a safer spot near San Antonio,” Dot said. “Running water and shit.”

Shelby shook her head, “Gone, three weeks ago. Heard it on the radio.”

Dot nodded, “What about you?”

“Radio said Hawaii’s better,” Shelby said. “There’s an operation ferrying people there on the west coast. It’s a thousand cigs per person. But there’s work by the dock if you’re willing to do it.”

“Work for you?” Dot asked.

Shelby’s jaw tightened, “I’ll do what I have to do. Lord forgive me.”

Dot sighed, “Sounds like we go west then.”

They hung around in the trailer for three days, pushing the limits of what was safe, and stumbled on to a new place in the area at daybreak on the fourth day. Dot’s ankle wasn’t broken, with the inflatable cast Shelby had in a week or so she’d be something regarding useful, and as long as she didn’t push herself she’d be more than fine.

Spending time with Shelby Goodkind was another story. For one thing, despite the zombie apocalypse, complete destruction of their lives and modern society, the death of her family and everyone in their town, Shelby was still good and kind. She’d clutch at the cross around her neck every time they’d pass a body, and would never touch one, even the ones that were recent and obviously not stripped clean. It made Dot kinda mad, she found five cigs just walking, and she wondered how many Shelby passed off being squeamish.

But Shelby also wasn’t squeamish, wasn’t afraid to take down a zed with a kitchen knife, and with that same hand wipe the gore off Dot all gentle. She called her Dottie, gave her the last blanket, and always volunteered for the first shift so Dot could watch the sunrise. Dot hadn’t been cared for in a long while, hadn’t been around people in even longer. She decided she might love it.

But Shelby was a magnet, always had been, she talked about god’s light long enough that she got Dot believing it all fell on her. It wasn’t a real surprise when she showed up with a stray.

“What the fuck,” Dot said. “Did you kidnap a child?”

“I did not kidnap a child,” Shelby said, picking the girl up with some difficulty and lifting her onto the backseat of the broken down minivan they were holed up in.

“I sent you out to get sunscreen,” Dot said. “How did you come back with a child?”

“She’s our age,” Shelby said. “I think. And listen, I found her barricaded in a utility closet with a bad fever, I knew we had some tablets but I didn’t wanna leave her.”

“Like bite fever?” Dot asked. “We don’t have enough bullets to—”

“No,” Shelby shook her head, “Look,” she gently unwrapped a bandage around the girl’s arm, revealing a bad slice. “It’s infected. Not a bite. We’re okay.”

Dot sighed and nodded. The girl’d probably try and rob ‘em blind but if they watched her hands and got away fast enough they should be fine. They’d be fine.

“You’re more trouble than you’re worth,” Dot muttered. Shelby smiled, all sweet and gentle and bright and Dot rolled her eyes.

The girl took the tablets, they washed and changed the bandages, after about fourteen hours she blinked awake, unfortunately while Dot was on watch.

“Who—who are you?”

“Dot Campbell,” she said.

The girl stared at her.

“My friend saved your ass,” Dot said. “Shelby.”

“Um,” the girl inched back, “Why? Where am I?”

“We’re on the twenty-two, not from from the ten-eighty,” Dot told her. “You got a nasty infection there, got any cigs?”

“No, I don’t smoke.”

Dot blinked at her. “Alright then.”

“My friends will be looking for me,” the girl said. “I should get back to them.” She didn’t have an accent, Dot realized, not even a thin one like her own.

“Shelby found you around Mr. K’s, we can draw you a map if you’d like,” Dot said. “Where you from?”

“Austin,” the girl lied, badly.

“Alright then,” Dot said again. “Well we’ll draw you a map in the mornin and you can leave a day break. It ain’t far.”

“Thank you,” the girl said. “For helping me.”

“Shelby’s idea,” Dot said. Neither of ‘em slept the whole time, the girl smart enough to keep an eye out, and Dot’s whole job to watch out. She woke Shelby up when she was supposed to and easily muddled into a slumber.

A nice thing, about the zombie apocalypse, was Dot had gotten a lot better at sleeping. She used to stay up for hours thinking ‘bout how she’d pay the bills, how much her dad’s meds cost, whether he was coughing more that night than he did most nights, but now she hit whatever soft looking rock she decided to call a pillow and conked out until Shelby woke her. Shelby, on the other hand, barely slept a wink, shooting up at the slightest sign of trouble, even when Dot was on watch. Too much time on her own, Dot’d guess.

Before Shelby Mateo wandered with Dot. He was quiet and sweet and she had took care of him as best she could. Shelby didn’t have nobody before Dot. Just her dead parents, and if Dot remembered eighth grade soccer well enough, a couple of dead siblings too.

So Dot pretty much conked out and missed the way the girl and Shelby giggled all night. But even she wasn’t blind to their bond when she woke, the way the girls smiled easily at one another, laughed with each other, kept up with each other.

“Dottie,” Shelby said. “Martha,” so that was the stranger’s name “said you told her we could draw her a map but Mr. K’s ain’t far, we might as well take her.”

Dot grunted, she didn’t wanna waste a day but it wasn’t like Mr. K’s would take all day and they might as well see if they could find any more cigs. She hadn’t met any non-smokers in a long while. Apocalypse sorta took the fun out of being straight-edge, if Dot had to guess.

Dot took the back, a metal bat out and ready, and Shelby and Martha took the front. Shelby had a makeshift spear made, good for longer range, but worse up close, and she gave Martha the other bat they had. To borrow, Dot had emphasized.

One of the other things that never got old about the apocalypse, was walking up a highway. Walking straight up that middle line, knowing no one would dare drive a car ‘round there. It felt like the world was yours and empty, like you were finding it, rebuilding it, building it. It was as close to a cowboy as she had felt since her daddy let her ride on his back. It was as close to free as she had ever felt.

They got back to Mr. K’s and Dot saw the approaching figures first, aiming her rifle right at ‘em, safety off and gun cocked, but her finger off the trigger. It was Shelby’s hunting rifle, actually, but she had handed it to Dot first chance she had, looking kinda pale. She had Dot’s old handgun now, useless with this kinda range.

“Live ones?” Shelby asked.

“Can’t tell,” Dot said. “Just kinda standing there.”

“They could be waiting for me,” Martha said. Dot glanced at her, hoping the girl wasn’t actually as naive as she seemed. She probably was.

They walked as close as they dared, before Martha was able to confirm that yes it was her friends.

She ran at ‘em and one of ‘em collided with her, slamming her into a hug. There were two more, just kinda watching Dot and Shelby.

“We should go,” Dot said. “We did what we said.”

“Dottie,” Shelby said.

Dot sighed and the two of ‘em trudged up to the happy pair, reuniting like they had been separated for years, decades, instead of a few hours. It was a miracle they were reunited at all, Mateo said he’d meet her back at the camp in an hour and she had to bash his head in six months later with a sledge hammer.

“Who’re your friends, Martha?” One of the other people asked. It was four girls counting Martha, lucky, none of ‘em white, but they all looked around the same age as Dot and Shelby.

“This is Shelby,” Martha grinned, “And Dot.”

Dot nodded at them.

“I am just so pleased to make your acquaintance,” Shelby smiled, holding out her hand to the girl who still had an arm wrapped around Martha.

“This is Toni,” Martha said, squeezing the girl’s side when she didn’t take Shelby’s hand. “And Rachel and Nora.”

“Ah,” Shelby smiled, “Toni your sister right?”

Martha nodded, Toni glared. “Yeah it’s great to meet you or whatever. There a reason you kidnapped Martha?”

“I saw her passed out and worried she was alone,” Shelby explained. “I knew we had some tablets back at the camp but—”

“What do you want?” Rachel asked. “We got about six hundred if that’s—” Martha from Austin, Dot’s ass. Money hadn’t meant shit in Texas for awhile. These kids were from up north, probably pretty far up north too. Maine or some shit. Delaware.

“Got any cigs?” Dot asked.

“Yes,” Nora said. “We have a couple packs.”

“Great,” Dot held out her hands and two packs were dropped into them. Nora didn’t make eye contact the entire time, her hands fidgeting with anything. She was covered in scabs and scars, picking at her own skin probably.

“Where y’all headed?” Shelby asked.

“None of your business,” Toni said.

“Apparently the San Antonio Zone relocated to Tyler,” Martha said. “We heard some people talking about it last week.”

“Y’all got a radio?” Dot asked.

Martha shook her head.

“If you had one you’d know that that’s what they’re pulling now, telling people to go to Tyler, they shoot you as soon as you step foot in Athens.”

“So where are you guys headed?” Rachel demanded.

“West,” Shelby said. “Radio says they’re ferrying clean folks to Hawaii. It’s an island so.”

“Clean how?” Rachel asked, taking a step forward and lifting her jaw.

Dot sighed.

Shelby’s eyes widened, “Clean as in not infected, I mean.”

“Chill,” Rachel smiled, all thin, “I was kidding.”

“Great,” Dot said. “Not that this hasn’t been fun, but we should be going.”

“Wait,” Martha said. “It’s just, we might as well go west too. And we might as well go west together.”

“Marty,” Toni grabbed her by her uninjured arm, “I wanna talk to you for a moment.”

They got into a whispered argument for a few minutes. Rachel joined and it escalated but Martha came out on top, smiling as she approached them.

“We might as well go together,” she repeated.

Shelby’s smile was just as wide, “We would be alighted to have you.”

The new girls were a nightmare. Rachel and Nora, sisters as Dot would learn, hated one another. And by hated Dot meant, had a complicated relationship of love without trust or mutual respect. Nora didn’t trust Rachel, Rachel didn’t respect Nora, and they were constantly going at one another. Toni had some sorta toxic jealousy thing going on, despising Shelby because she was monopolizing Martha. She also tended to fly into these rages, making her wander off for long periods that had Dot itching to grab her gun and demanding the girl strip to check for bites. Mateo’s dad used to do the same thing, wander off to check his bite.

Shelby also was wholly focused on two things now: Martha, and Toni’s hate. Dot ambled along behind all of ‘em, keeping the sisters from killing each other, Toni’s voice down, and everyone else alive.

The worst part was it took Dot nearly three days before she caught sight of it.

“You have one hand,” Dot glared at Rachel. Rachel slung the pack over her shoulder.

“You’re just noticing that now?” Rachel asked. “I must be getting better with it.”

“The fuck happened?” Dot said.

“My hand got bit,” Rachel shrugged. “Cut it off before it spread, didn’t even know it would work.”

Dot whistled, low and quiet, like they were all used to being.

“I cut it off,” Nora corrected, sullenly.

Rachel rolled her eyes.

“I’m still quicker on the draw than you,” Rachel said, the words clunky in her mouth.

Dot set her jaw, “So y’all are sticking with the story that you’re from Austin?”

“We’re from New York,” Nora said. Rachel glared at her. “What? You think some group would waste three days on four teenage girls?”

“New York?” Dot asked. “Everyone knows it’s safer up north, why the hell are you down here?”

“You hear about Yonkers?” Rachel asked.

Dot shook her head.

“It was the last op the US military set up before they fell apart. We’d made it out by then but we watched it happen on the news. Someone in a group we had still had a phone and the whole thing was live streamed. All of the death. The group were supposed to go to some military bases up in Canada but we wanted a wide open space with plenty of guns.”

“Texas,” Dot said.

Rachel nodded.

“Stupid,” Dot told her. “You probably came for San Antonio too.”

Rachel sighed, “Nobody was gonna survive those Canadian winters without a base, and we weren’t sure we were gonna get one. Rather get bit than freeze.”

“How’d you meet Toni and Martha?” Dot asked.

“Toni and I got into a fistfight over some Takis,” Rachel said.

Dot nodded, “Fuego?”

“Fuego.”

And yeah they were a nightmare but quicker than Dot wanted they became her nightmare. Still though, she dragged Shelby away from Martha and Toni’s sides, and muttered, “we can still go. Ditch if you want. Whenever. We don’t know ‘em.”

Shelby, in high school, woulda been scandalized, muttered some bible passage at her. This Shelby was a little more grown and only looked at her all serious.

“You knew what I was when you picked me up,” she said. “And I knew what Martha was. We’ll face our consequences, I reckon.”

Dot nodded.

Walking all day, everyday, wasn’t easy stuff. Especially since they had to strip as many bodies as they could find. Nora figured it out pretty quick, mumbling something to Rachel who recruited Toni to storm over to Dot.

“You don’t smoke them, but you’re hoarding them,” Rachel said. “Why?”

Dot kept her easy pace. “These things are currency now, the value’ll only go up over time.”

“Currency for what?” Toni asked. “What are you trying to buy?”

“You think a ferry to Hawaii is free?” Dot asked. “I’m saving for all of us.”

“Dottie,” Shelby walked over, Martha sticking by Nora, “What’s up?”

“How much?” Toni asked. “Really, how much?”

“A hundred each,” Dot said, too quickly.

“Try again,” Rachel said.

“Dot,” Shelby got between them, looking at Dot. “Thou shalt not lie, right? Tell ‘em the truth.” Dot glared at her and Shelby turned back around to Rachel. “It’s five hundred each. We got about a hundred now, so no one’s going to Hawaii.”

“What if there aren’t enough?” Toni asked. “Who decides then?”

“We’ll draw straws,” Shelby said.

It was as easy a solution as anything but the tenseness started building up, Rachel and Toni viewing Dot with more suspicion. It’d fade, over time, Dot knew. Or they’d all die.

The worst it got, was actually Shelby’s doing, the easy peace maker of it all. They hadn’t bothered building a fire, despite how cold and exposed it got in Texas at night, but they huddled together between three cars they found abandoned along the highway that they pushed into a triangle. Someone got to the seat cushions of all three first, so there was nothing comfortable to lie their heads on. It was easy for Dot though, the asphalt as soft as anything to her now.

They stayed up later than they should’ve talking. Trading stories about their old life that all of them knew weren’t doing any good. Toni played basketball, was pretty good at it too. Rachel had a skill for swimming she’d never have again. Nora did quiz bowl, surprising no one. Dot talked about metal, fishing with her dad, what types of pills sold for what. Martha was a dancer, and a vegetarian once. It was something that made ‘em all crack up. When humans become man eating beasts, and once upon a time there were jokes online about vegans. Shelby talked about the yearbook, mission trips, Andrew.

But then cause Shelby started it by prattling on about Andrew Toni got it in her head to talk about Regan and Shelby was talking about Leviticus.

The next morning, Rachel quietly pulled Dot aside and told her to take all the cigarettes and head out. That they could make their own way west. Dot didn’t ask for an invitation to go with her.

They split off at the twenty-five, Dot and Shelby heading for the forty, Toni, Martha, Rachel, and Nora heading for the sixty.

Shelby was heartbroken for a few days, apologetic too, and grateful. Dot didn’t let her have any of that, only said, “It’s cause we’re from the same town. We might be the only ones from there left.”

They trudged on.

In Arizona Dot found the love of her life, her soulmate, Fatin Jadmani. In a completely straight way too. Fatin matched her tit for tat, spoke a language Dot hadn’t realized she’d been born knowing. Her girlfriend was an anxious woman named Leah, who Shelby got on with. Dot had worried, upon bringing the two back to camp, that Shelby would chase ‘em away again, but she hadn’t. Just smiled at the two of them, easily offering up a couple granola bars.

Whenever tenseness came about Fatin just laughed, and Leah rolled her eyes. It wasn’t perfect, Dot knew, there was too much hate for that, but it would last ‘em long enough. The four of ‘em just worked in this great lovely way.

Only problem was their destination.

“We barely managed to get out of LA,” Leah mumbled, she hugged her legs, her head leaning on Fatin’s shoulder.

“LA?” Shelby asked. “That’s where we’re headed.”

“What the fuck?” Fatin glared at Dot, “Dorthy I thought you had more sense than that.”

“There’s some military guys ferrying people to Hawaii,” Dot said.

“Where’d you hear that, the radio?” Fatin asked. She sighed at their nods, “They’re broadcasting out to whoever will hear it, but there is no ferry to Hawaii. The entire thing is just selling and shipping as many girls out as possible. We have no idea where though.”

“So when you say you barely made it out,” Dot said.

Fatin’s face was grim.

“We have to warn ‘em,” Shelby said.

“Warn who?” Dot asked.

“Toni and the others! They don’t know!” Shelby stood up. “I’ll plot out the course now and we’ll start out fresh tomorrow. We aren’t leaving ‘em to—to—we aren’t leaving ‘em.” She stormed off and Dot watched her go.

“She wants to go towards LA to help some motherfuckers who kicked you out of their group?” Fatin asked.

“Yeah,” Dot said.

“Are you gonna go with her?” Leah asked.

“I knew what she was when I picked her up,” Dot said.

“What do you wanna do?” Leah asked Fatin.

Fatin pressed her cheek to Leah’s head, “I don’t know if I can risk you.” Fatin looked at Dot, “Are you gonna be stupid?”

“No,” Dot said.

“Then we’ll come,” Fatin sighed. “Leah that okay?” Leah nodded.

Neither of ‘em were as good at offing zed as Shelby and Dot. Fatin was decent at finding stuff though, scoping stuff, and Leah had endurance none of the rest of ‘em could match. She was like a zed sometimes, just kept going, could keep going, until her knees wore down to dust and then she’d crawl, crawl until her fingers wore down to nubs and then she’d inch, inch until something put her out of her misery. It terrified Fatin and Shelby, but Dot couldn’t help being impressed.

So Dot ambled after Shelby toward Bethlehem on the forty but they were gonna leap back on the interstate and hopefully head ‘em off. Hopefully Martha, Toni, Rachel, and Nora’d be alive, and they’d find ‘em. And if they didn’t find ‘em, hopefully they’d be dead. And Shelby stopped sleeping about a day or two into trek. Would just keep staring at the maps and keeping watch, and taking inventory and thumbing around her necklace.

When Dot woke up on the third day of their walk, Shelby’s hair was much shorter and Fatin looked real scared. Shelby kept walking and walking and, in a fit of rage that matched Toni’s, launched her necklace off the highway. She looked like she regretted it after but they had no choice but to keep going.

They passed an arm and it looked like Rachel’s.

Shelby walked faster. Leah had that glint in her eye. Fatin took Dot’s hand and looked very very scared.

After two more days Shelby said fuck it, and found a car with some gas in it and told 'em to get in.

Dot stood in front, “Shelby,” Shelby glared at her, “This’ll attract every body in the fucking country. The sound, the smell, I’m not just talking about the dead ones neither.”

Shelby swallowed hard, “You gonna stay behind then?”

“Shelby,” Dot said. “If you leave me here I’ll get caught up in the hoard. That what you want?”

“Get in the damn car, Dottie!” Shelby said.

“If we get to ‘em in time, but there’s a fucking hoard following us, we won’t have anywhere to go but on,” Dot said. “Fucking think!”

“I am thinking,” Shelby spat back. She shoved Dot, “I’m thinking about Toni, and Martha walking from Minnesota to Texas only to die in California. I’m thinking about Nora and Rachel watching Yonkers fall and then getting shipped off to who knows where. That’s what I’m thinking.”

“Shelby we can make it,” Leah said.

“No we can’t!” Shelby said. “I’ve done the math, I keep looking at these maps, there’s no way we’ll make it in time without a mode of transportation. No car and they die.”

“Then what the fuck are we going there?” Dot asked. “If it’s too late—”

“It is not too late!” Shelby said, her throat was all closed and choked sounding. “I can save ‘em! Jesus fuckin Christ we have to help ‘em!”

“Shelby,” Dot said, she put a hand on her shoulder. “We can’t take a car, and we can’t make it by foot,” Shelby’s face crumpled. “They’re gone, alright? We should be planning our next move.”

“No,” Leah said. She shook her head, “We have to help them.”

“You don’t even know ‘em,” Dot said.

“I’m not letting four innocent girls go through what I nearly went through,” Leah said.

“I’m with Leah,” Fatin said. “We’ll take the car and play it by ear.”

“Play the-hoard-that-will-start-coming-after-us-the-second-we-turn-on-the-engine by ear?” Dot asked.

“Let’s vote,” Shelby said. “All in favor of going?”

Fatin, Leah, and Shelby all raised their hands.

“C’mon,” Dot begged. She looked at Fatin, “You told me not to be stupid!”

“So don’t be stupid,” Fatin said. “Get in the car.”

Dot sighed, wanted to punch something, wanted to cry, was too tired to do either, got in the car.

The car attracted so many fucking zed, they wouldn’t be able to stop, and they had to hope there was enough in the fucking tank to get them to wherever the four were. Dot watched the dead bodies creep closer, at their slow hobbling, relentless pace. Fatin drove, Shelby used her pike to spear any who got too close, Dot watched the maps and steadily got herself into a panic.

They were gonna die trying to save the asses of some girls they spent a couple days with.

This was not what Shelby was when Dot picked her up, this was not what she was. Shelby had gone behind Dot’s back and fucking grown as a person, hadn’t she? How the fuck was Dot gonna get away from her? She’d have to pack Fatin in a suitcase and then Leah too and that would mean entirely abandoning Shelby to be on her lonesome oh god.

Dot was stuck, wasn’t she.

As they kept driving Shelby had to keep spearing zed. It started off as one or two, but as the hours wore on they were leaning on five, six, a steady growing mass ambling behind ‘em.

If that had really been Rachel’s arm, they were probably dead. All of ‘em. Or maybe in the mass behind ‘em. And if they weren’t, they’d hear the car coming and head for the hills, assuming it meant a hoard was close behind. Which it was.

This was such a fucking terrible idea.

“So what, we just wait for a sign to say welcome to LA and then give up? We won’t find ‘em like this,” Dot said.

“Shut up!” Shelby said, she speared another.

“At least check you ain’t offing one of ours,” Dot said. “They could all be zed, for all we know.”

“I said shut up,” Shelby turned to glare at her and a zed slammed against the door. She speared it and Dot’s mouth clamped shut. “We just gotta keep going,” she said. “We’ll be fine, we just gotta keep moving.”

“You’re crazy,” Dot said.

Shelby didn’t have anything to say to that.

It was worse at nightfall, with visibility down, and they just had to keep going, to hope their car wasn’t stripped when they went over the bumps of mutilated corpses still hungry for a last meal.

“We’re almost to LA,” Shelby said. “We got nearly a hundred cigs, we might be able to bribe someone if they jump us.”

Leah snorted.

They were driving through an empty enough part of Nevada though, less corpses hurling themselves off the road and towards them. Still the ever growing mass behind ‘em now, maybe fifty, seventy five, but about twenty out.

“I gotta piss,” Dot said.

“Hurry,” Fatin said.

Dot stumbled out, no one noticing her grabbing her pack. The zed would follow the car, she’d make a clean break. She’d survive.

She was only seven minutes south, judging by the north star Shelby taught her to find when someone’s hand grabbed her. She pulled out her hand gun, jamming it into the head and flicking the safety off.

“Dot! Jesus Christ!”

The girl was wide-eyed, tan, hollowed out, empty and desperate. Reminded her of the empty pill bottles around her house after her dad died.

“Toni?”

Toni nodded, “Why are you here? Fuck that I don’t give a shit, you got water?” Dot handed it to her and Toni downed it. “The other’s are close, c’mon.” She stumbled as she got up, clearly dizzy, and Dot grabbed her forearm.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you guys,” Dot said.

“Don’t tell me it’s you in the fucking car,” Toni said. “We’ve been running from that thing for ages.”

“I fucking told Shelby,” Dot said.

“Shelby?” Toni asked, she was almost too exhausted to sound disgusted, but she managed it.

“Listen, LA isn’t safe, we found out. They’re not taking kids to Hawaii, they’re taking them.”

Toni went pale, “Fuck.” She even sounded choked now. “Shelby’s having a fucking aneurysm worrying about you so I don’t even think she’s that fucking homophobic. I’ll get everyone back to the car, you tell ‘em I’m coming.”

Toni nodded, stumbling towards the street and Dot walked back to the direction Toni pointed to before she left. Rachel, Nora, and Martha were all in various points of disarray. Exhausted, dehydrated, starving, aching and bleeding. Dot had to half carry, half drag Nora with Martha and Rachel had to get a stick to lean on as they stumbled toward the street.

“We got like ten minutes,” Fatin said. “People are gonna have to double buckle, and before anyone else makes a decision, we’re going north.”

Dot strapped everyone in and found herself sitting next to Shelby who met her eyes in a hundred yard stare.

“You took your pack.”

“Yeah.”

“But you came back.”

“Yeah.”

“Fine.”

They started on again. Dot saw Toni keep sneaking glances at Shelby and Shelby kept sneaking ‘em back.

They weren’t far from Mt. Tobin when the two finally stopped dancing around each other.

Dot convinced everyone to ditch the car near LA, walking as quickly as they could once they did, knowing it’d take awhile to ditch the hoard too. Dot watched Toni talk to Shelby in low tones, Shelby full of apologies and panics and Toni keeping her cool longer than Dot had ever seen it.

Martha took to Fatin quickly, everyone did, and Nora and Leah spent long hours walking beside each other mumbling about books or something. Not anything Dot gave two shits about.

Rachel ambled along with Dot most of the time. Whenever Fatin and Leah were all over each other and Dot didn’t feel like third wheeling. Rachel was always listening to the radio and as time passed it became clear that the two of them were the most capable of keeping everyone alive. And not in a more knowledgable way. Because Nora knew what plants were edible, and Shelby was a better shot. Or in an emotional way, because Fatin and Martha handled that. But in a planning sorta way. Because Dot knew how to get them to point B, while Rachel was working on point E.

“We should go to Washington,” Rachel muttered on one of the late nights they spent keeping watch while they poured over maps. “We might be able to find a boat to Victoria.”

“Victoria?” Rachel pointed her out.

“It’s a Canadian island. Canada lasted a little longer than we did, Victoria might not be in such a bad way.”

“Less guns in Canada,” Dot said. “And there might not be a boat that’ll take us there. Plus, we don’t know the currency.”

“We’re eight teenage girls,” Rachel pointed out. “We stick around so close to Cali, we’re asking for trouble. We need to put an ocean between us and whatever the fuck they’re doing there.”

Dot sighed. So they’d go to Washington.

On the way they’d probably run into another group who’d tell them Washington was overrun but there was something decent in Wisconsin. Half way to Wisconsin someone would tell ‘em their information was bad and they need to get south where there were guns and space. They’d almost be in Georgia when someone would tell ‘em there was some real government up in New York again.

They’d follow pipe dream to pipe dream to pipe dream. They’d probably die young.

Toni curled around Shelby, holding Martha’s hand. Fatin and Leah held on for dear life. Rachel didn’t take her eyes off Nora. Dot watched them all.

Yeah they’d probably die young. Better than dying alone.

[unmaskedagain]

Over This (Over you)

        Quick one-shot. Class salt ahead. this about the fall of Lila getting exposed. Kind of cliche at this point. Enjoy.

   Surprisingly, it was Mylene who found out the truth first. Lila had told a lie about a famous performer who taught her all about filmmaking.

           The issue?

           The guy had died three years before Lila was born.

           It all snowballed from there.

           She told Ivan who told Nathanial.

           Nathanial just shrugged it off because Lila knew a lot of people, maybe she just got confused. Then he overheard Lila brag about her weekend, then she casually thrown in that Stan Lee had dropped in. And his heart stopped.

           Because Nathanial didn’t care who you were: Stan lee was not a name you confused for anyone else’s. He had been a legend. Stan Lee had been a god to comic book lovers everywhere. Stan Lee was dead.

           Nathanial told Nino first.

           Nino had thought it was an honest mistake; a lapse in memory on Lila’s part. Still the suspicious didn’t just go away.

           And when he heard her bragging about working with the famous DJ Marshmallow; that she helped him compose his biggest hit.

           Nino paled when he remembered that he had played nearly all of Marshmallow’s jams to Lila and she hadn’t known a single one. Even asked if it was Nino’s own work.

           That was when he got Alya involved. It had been Saturday, date night, but they were stuck babysitting their little siblings. They tended to find themselves babysitting a lot. They couldn’t find anyone willing to cover for them.

           Nino carefully brought up the Lila situation.

           Alya at first came to Lila’s defense. She had already dealt with Marinette’s jealousy and determination to call Lila a liar. Lila had been bullied by Marinette for months. It got to the point where the whole class had no choice but to ostracize the Bluenette like they did Chloe until she changed her evil way. Even Adrien gave the girl the cold shoulder. A few of them even went out of their way to show Marinette what it was like to be bullied; a trip here or there, torn up school notes, an “accidently” spilled drink on something Marinette had been designing. When Marinette didn’t change, and seemingly became friends with Chloe, Kagami, and kids from other classes; Alya had to put her foot down, and the rest of the class followed suit. They would not be friends with Marinette anymore.

After that, Alya refused to let anyone talk bad about her new bestie. Even if that person was her boyfriend. However, before she could get angry, Nino talked her down. And Alya quickly conceded that two was a coincidence, three times was a pattern.

“Fine,” Alya huffed and pulled out her phone to research Lila Rossi. It would be easy show the entire class just how amazing her best friends was, and then the nasty rumors of her being a liar would stop once and for all.

           However as Alya searched for information on her new friend, she found google to be lacking. Slowly but surely as Alya tried several different search methods, the righteous feeling she had started with faded away as desperation filled her.

No, she thought with growing horror, Lila was telling the truth. She had to be.

           Alya had supported her. She had filled the Ladyblog of interviews from Lila. She had-She had! Lila couldn’t be lying.

           But no matter how long Alya searched. There was no evidence to support anything Lila had ever said.

           Alya held her phone is her hands tightly and just stared at it. Tears burned in her eyes. She looked up at Nino and gasped, “Lila is a liar!”

           The entire class knew within the hour.

           The group chat was filled with remorse and anger. (Three akumas came out of it. Ladybug saved the day.) No one knew how to react. How should they confront Lila? How could they make her pay?

           But then Rose, sweet Rose had texted something that made all their hearts stop

Rosebud: What about Marinette?

Shit, one by one they all thought, Marinette!

           They had all hurt the girl, their ‘everyday Ladybug’. So much so that they had snatched the title away from her and given it to Lila, who they thought deserved it more.

           Quickly, they all tried to text and call their dearest friend with apologies ready on their lips, only to hear “This number has been disconnected.”

           Marinette had changed her number.

           Alya and Nino had raced to the bakery as soon as their parents came from. Only for Sabine and Tom, the nicest people on the entire planet, apart from Marinette, had given them the coldest glares possible, and told them Mariette had gone a weekend trip. And that they were no longer welcome in their establishment or in their home.

           By the time Monday morning rolled around, emotions were high. Adrien had tried to calm the class down, convince them that what Lila did wasn’t so bad, but they wouldn’t hear it. Most of the class waited silently as their desks, lost in their thoughts.

           Until Lila strolled into class, a big smile on her face, “Wait till I tell you what I did this weekend,” And went on to talk about the celebrity she had been with.

“Liar!” Alix roared, and Kim had to hold her back from throttling Lila.

           That was all spark needed for the class to start ripping into her.

           Alya screamed about her ruining the Ladyblog and destroying her career; her friendship with Marinette. Nino yelled about promised connections and missed opportunities. Everyone had something to scream.

           Lila tried to defend herself. However, it became increasingly clear that the game was up. There was nothing she could do to save it. She looked around helpless.

           That was the scene, Marinette, Kagami, and Chloe walked in on. Marinette and Chloe had spent the entire weekend at a fashion show; models for Audrey Bourgeois, walking the runway. And when they weren’t doing that, they were at photoshoots. Kagami had tagged along for support, and the beach house they had stayed in. When the girls weren’t working, they had a blast just hanging out.

           Marinette eyed the teary Lila and the angry faces of her classmates, her ex-friends, and just snorted, “Took long enough.”

           Kagami just held out her hand.

           Chloe huffed and handed money, “Two weeks. Just two more weeks, and I would’ve won the bet.” She stumped her foot. “Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. These morons spent over a year hanging of Lie-la’s every word and they couldn’t give me two more weeks.”

           Marinette giggled at her friends antics. “I told you not to bet against her.” She said as the three walked to their desks in the back. Ignoring all the eyes on them. “Kagami doesn’t lose.”

           Said girl in question smirked, “As if there was ever a chance.”

“…Marinette?” Rose said, her eyes still red from all the crying. “I’m so sorry. We should’ve listened. We should’ve believed you.”

“Yeah,” Alya cried. “Girl, I can’t believe I got fooled. I’m so sorry.”

           More apologies came. Each one more sorrow filled the last. Lila watched with anger in her eyes.

           When the last one was done, Marinette shrugged, “Whatever,” And went back to talking with Chloe and Kagami.

“Whatever?” Alya asked confused. “What do you mean: whatever?” She had expected an emotion reconciliation. With promise of future girls’ night and being best friends forever.

           Even Lila was caught off guard, and stopped her escape from the room to watch.

“It means an American localism,” Marinette explained. “It’s mean it’s doesn’t matter; I don’t care; sure, okay. Sometimes, just to end a conversation if there’s nothing more to say.”

           Nino frowned, “How can you say that? We’re really sorry!”

“And that means what?” Kagami asked, coldly.

           The question caught most of the room off guard.

“This has nothing to do with you!” Alix hissed. “We’re talking with Marinette.”

           Marinette crossed her arms, and leaned back in her seat, “Answer the question.” She said. “What exactly did you expect to happen? What do you even think apologizing would mean?”

           Kim scratched his head, “Its means everything’s okay again; that we’re friends again.”

           The three stared at him. He shifted uneasily.

“Ridiculous,” Chloe muttered.

“No,” Marinette said slowly to them. “That’s what it means. Saying sorry just implies you know what you did was wrong and that you feel bad and want to make it clear to the offended party that you are remorseful. It doesn’t actually do anything.”

           Lila smirked. She was glad she stayed. The fools thought everyone would go back to the way it was. Unfortunately, Marinette had different plans.

“We are remorseful, though,” Rose pleaded. “We feel really, really bad about what we did.”

           Marinette nodded, “I understand. But that doesn’t change what you did,” She explained. “You hurt me. You bullied me. You accused me of awful things. You ended our friendships. I understand that you are sorry. I accept your apology,” The other students visibly brighten with hope on their faces. “I do not forgive you. I don’t have to forgive to you. It’s not okay,” Marinette said this part directly to Kim, who used to be her oldest friend in the room. “I will not say “It’s okay”, to your apology. Because you’ll just think it okay to do it again. And it’s not. What you did was not okay. And I do not have to forgive you.”

“But we’re friends,” Juleka sobbed, “Friends forgive. Best Friends forgive.” To that Alya nodded earnestly.

“We are not friends,” Marinette said bluntly. “We haven’t been friends in a long time. I only have two friends in classroom, my best friends,” The two girls next to her preened. “Kagami and Chloe. All my other friends are in different classes.” She paused. “And before you ask, I don’t think we can be friends again. I do not want to be friends again because I can only be friends with people I trust and like. None of you meet those requirements.”

           Ouch. The other students flinched back as if slapped.

           Adrien stepped forward, “You’re being mean, Marinette. They’re sorry. Just let them make it up to you.” He smiled wide, hope in his eyes. “Then we can go back to the way it was before.”

Chloe raised an eyebrow, “Just how hard did you hit the ground when you fell out of that tree when we were five?”

Marinette snorted a laugh. “This isn’t a movie, Adrien,” She told him. “Life doesn’t work like that. And what about you? How sorry are you? You knew Lila was lying the entire time, and did nothing.”

Nino let out a strangled cry, “What? Bro?”

Angry glares turned toward the blond.

“No,” Marinette slammed her hands on her desk. “You don’t get to be mad at him. I do. He didn’t have to tell you Lila was lying because I already did. Me! Someone most of you have known since we were toddlers. You just met Adrien less than two years ago, there was no reason for him to think you would’ve believed him over me.  It’s not like you believed Kagami when she came to class and pointed out hole in Lila’s stories. Adrien’s only crime was that he never had my back like he promised he would. Not once. And I don’t forgive him for that either,” She added to her former crush; during her speech his face had gone from scared, to relieved, to devastated.

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything,” Kagami said simply. “To think otherwise, is the same childish behavior that got you into this mess.”

           Chloe nodded, “And thinking everything can just go back to the way it was, after everything, all the hurt, is just stupid,” She stated let looked over every student in class to let them know she was speaking with them too before resting her eyes on Adrien. “There’s too much damage now. This isn’t like the fights we had as kids. We can’t just share cookies and forget a second later that we we’re fight. It’s a burned bridged; scooping up the ashes and hoping for the best doesn’t change the fact that the bridge is gone. It’s just gone.”

“She’s friends with you,” Alya snapped.

“We were never friends before now,” Chloe defended, anger raging in her eyes. “We hated each other. I made her life. Never once did Marinette trust me, relied on me, thought of me as friend.”

“Nothing Chloe did actually hurt me,” Marinette shrugged. “At least not in way that matter. Because she was just a mean girl who didn’t care about me and I didn’t care about. When we became friends, it became different. Now there’s an emotional connection, trust. Now she could actually hurt me.”

“Not that I would,” The blonde quickly added. “But it’s different for you. I hurt my enemy. You hurt your friend. She expected me. She never saw you coming.”

           Miss Bustier walked into class. The bell rang. Everyone went back to their. Mourning their friendships and berating their own actions.

           As the days went on, some of ex-friends tried to pretend everything was alright between Marinette and them again.

           Rose would try to draw her into the latest gossip. Alya would just sit down at her lunch table and just launch into a conversation but would leave once it was clear that the three girls were ignoring her.

           Kim tried to joke around with her but was met with stone cold silence. Alix tried baiting her into an argument.

           Those like Nino, Juleka and Max just left her alone. They knew they had done wrong and accepted the consequences.

           A month later, another blow up happened.

           Alya stomped into the lunchroom, right to Marinette’s table, and slammed a magazine on it, “This this why you don’t want to be friends?” She yelled gaining the attention of the entire cafeteria. “You’re too good for us now?”

           Marinette glanced at the magazine; teen vogue. On the cover was Marinette wearing the latest from Audrey Bourgeois’ new line.

           Alya picked up the magazine and showed her class. There were gasps. Students from the other classes just gave impressed looks when they recognized the sweet girl from Bustier’s class.

Alya sneered at Marinette, “You think better than us?”

“How could you not tell us?” Alix snapped.

           Adrien nodded in agreement. He couldn’t believe Marinette wouldn’t tell him. She had to know how lonely those photoshoots got. Didn’t she care? “I would have liked to model with you. It would be nice to have a real friend on set.”

“You’re not even that good at it,” Alya said with jealousy having filled her heart since she saw magazine in the store. Her friend had her foot in the door to her fashion dreams a while Alya’s dream of being a great journalist had gone up in smoke. The Ladyblog was ruined. Her fans had been flocking for months and Alya couldn’t figure out why until the truth about Lila was revealed. Now no one trusted Alya would have the scoop. The Ladyblog was replaced by Bugout managed by Aurore. “You probably begged Chloe’s mom for the job. And she took mercy on her brat’s only friend.”

           Kagami narrowed her eyes, “I am Chloe’s friend too. Luka is Chloe’s friend. Aurore is Chloe’s friend. Marc, Claude, Ondine; are all Chloe’s friends. Once again you failed to check the facts.”

“Ooohs,” Were heard from various students around the cafeteria. Nearly everyone knew by now that the Ladyblog had fallen into infamous category. It had been blacklisted as a credible resource by a majority of local news.

           Not to mentions the rumors cease and desist orders from various celebrities.

“I’ve been modeling for over almost two years,” Marinette said, frost in her eyes, as she looked at her class. “Never once have I brought it up. And I’ve been on the covers of Seventeen, Elle girl, Sassy, Vogue Paris, and Cosmogirl. I was featured, along with Chloe, in a spread in Vanity Fair. And another one in W with Gigi Hadid. I walked the runways during fashion weeks for New York, London, and Paris. Never once did I brag. Never once did I think it made me better than you. Or anyone for that matter.”

           The tone was far different than any they had ever heard Marinette use before. It was cold, unfeeling, and sent shivers through them. Alya, in particularly, unconsciously took a step back.

“I didn’t tell you,” She said mockingly to Alix who reddened. “Because we’re not friends. I don’t owe you anything. I don’t have to tell you anything. You’re no one to me.” Marinette glared at Alya. “No one at all. Just some wannabe journalist who ruined her own life’s work because she couldn’t remember that a good reporter checks her resources.”

“Damn,” Aurore chuckled, she sat next to Kagami and was enjoying the fireworks.

           Alya opened her mouth to yell but stopped when Nino placed at hand on her shoulder and motioned around the room. All eyes were on her. She flushed.

“I don’t know what your problem is, Alya.” Marinette shrugged. “Half the time you’re blaming Lila.  The other half you’ve been acting like you’ve didn’t do anything wrong. Now you’re looking for some excuse to make me the bad guy again. Just stop. You’re not a victim. You need to stop acting like you are. Hell, I’m not even the victim anymore because I moved on with my life. I have better things to do than be hurt and angry for the rest time.”

“Lila lied,” Alya repeated for the thousandth time. “I didn’t. It’s not my fault.”

“Seriously?” Marc asked from where he sat at Marinette’s lunch table. “Is she serious?” He asked Ondine who had a bewildered look on her face.

           Marinette just pinched her nose. “Oh grow up! You tripped me class. Sent horrible texts that could easily been considered harassment in a court of law. Destroyed weeks of designs when you ‘accidently’ spilled your coffee on my desk. You didn’t talk to me for months. You reported false information for over a year; dragging multiple celebrities into it. When you weren’t doing that, your blog focused more on the supposed relationship between Ladybug and Chat noir than it did on actual news. Any information you actually reported was half-assed at best. I’ve seen more accurate information on Tumblr. That was Lila. That was you.”

           Fire raged in Alya’s eyes, hurt clear on her face. She looked like she was going to explode.

Akuma alert anyone, Marinette thought.

“You screwed up. It happens. Let it go.” Marinette stood up, grabbed her bag. “This whole confrontation of yours was just childish. And I’m over it. I’m over you.”

“I was over you first,” Alya lunged at Marinette, with tears in her eyes, but Nino pulled her back.

Marinette rolled her eyes and moved to leave but just before she did, Marinette looked at Alya and then at the Class. “You’re ill-tempered, rash, and prone to immature behavior better suited on your little sisters. Besides the obvious, you want to know the real reason, we can’t be friends? You’re a child.”

And with a shake of her head, Marinette said. “And I’ve outgrown you.”

There was applause as Marinette left the lunch room to go transform. A smirk was on her face.

She really was over it.

[itsloveforhumanity]

It Ends With Us Review (Spoilers ahead)

Fucking HELL who the fuck said that this was a romance novel???????????

(I probably just assumed it was since everyone was talking about it)

But godDAMN

Of all the recs I’ve seen about this novel, not once had anyone mentioned about this being about domestic abuse bro i came in totally NOT prepared

Tbh Ryle gave me red flag vibes the day on that rooftop the moment he said he didn’t want a relationship 🚩🚩🚩🚩

“You pushed me” “You fell” FUCK YOU RYLE

God the amount of times i had to actually close the book and breathe because i was so scared and knew what was coming next

I’ve never wanted to burn a novel so badly

“Ryle, what would you do? If one of these days…” THE SOBS I LET OUT WERE INHUMANE

This book made me cried so much and as much as i pity Ryle for the incident with his brother,, i could never forgive him for his abusive behaviour

I wouldn’t say i was abused as a child per se, but growing up asian, i used to get beaten… for misbehaving…? (It was kinda normalised in society last time..)

Though it wasn’t to the extent of bleeding and scarring but nevertheless it still traumatised me. (Probably messed with my self esteem too idk idk)

I could relate to Lily in the sense how Ryle was a ticking time-bomb and she constantly had to walk on eggshells around him. That was me with my father

All in all I’m so glad my younger siblings never had to experience what i went through,,

Though I could never forgive my parents for the trauma they inflicted, I’m so glad that ended with me.

Ps.: was i the only who was bothered by young Atlas cause when he was eighteen, Lily was literally sixteen,,

Book rating: 10/10 (made me cry)

Ryle rating: 1/10 (pity vote for Emerson incident) (i want to smack the shit outta him)

I have so much more to say but unfortunately I’m not good horrible with words so that’s all for now :) Its 1.30 am and I’m currently a sobbing mess with swollen eyes