#understaning

[faye-here]

I dunno bout you guys but I was just rewatching a celebrity house tour video and saw that someone had commented the time to when my favourite moment of the video occurs and i was just so happy about it. then i realized that that was my comment from when i had watched the video earlier

sometimes im my own favourite person

i get me

[ered]

it's crazy it's party

[biolumien]

Saw some of your Hoshina Fics and it was stellar! Absolutely fucking amazing. You don’t know how damn happy I am to see Kaiju No.8 on my page. Your writing is phenomenal.

With that in mind, would it be possible to get another Hoshina request in? Preferably a Hurt/Comfort scenario. Maybe they’d have argued or something and they’re forced to actually confront each other’s insecurities. Because we like flawed adults going through their issues ✨together✨

If you’d like a more solidified vibe, try listening to Unsweetened Lemonade by Amélie Farren. It might give you some ideas!

I hope you have a wonderful day ahead of you!! :DD

notes: thank you so much for ur kind words ;-;; wahh... i love angst,... and functional relationships.... which is why i always write relationships on the verge of collapse... also thank you for the song rec!

hemming and hawing

soshiro hoshina x gn!reader theres a bit of drinking, but nothing extreme. word count: 1834

hoshina isn’t really good at communicating. for being the vice captain of a squadron of elite soldiers, where communication was often the difference between life and death–he’s really fucking bad at communication–or at least, the kind that requires you to be personal with other people.

he’s been ignoring you for days.

you’re not even sure why, at this point. you’d thought whatever relationship you were kindling was going fine, right? you weren’t exactly sure where the two of you stood, but you liked each other plenty, right? right? 

right?

so why was hoshina ignoring you? why did he sit so far away, make constant excuses to get up and leave? what the fuck was wrong with him? every time you’d grabbed him to talk–oftentimes having to physically hold him by the arm, because he’d often keep trying to walk away from you–he’d respond with one-word answers, not quite looking at you. you’d sit at your desk, so restless that your leg would bang against the underside of the table just wondering what the fuck was wrong with him. 

were his feelings a fluke?

hell, were yours?

what the fuck had you done wrong?

had you done something wrong? had you overstepped a boundary somewhere? but then again, how could you have? how could you have overstepped a boundary if he never made clear what his boundaries were? were you insane? what the fuck were you doing? or maybe the better question to ask is was soshiro hoshina worth this amount of hemming and hawing? was it worth it to lose your mind over his stupid face, when you saw him laugh at something okonogi said, or exchange quips with ashiro? was it worth it, when you knew he used to make the same faces towards you, used to look at you with something like measured affection behind his eyes–

you slam your head so hard against your desk that you can feel it starting to bruise.

no. no matter what, you were losing your mind over soshiro hoshina, damn him! damn him!

it keeps going on like this for a couple days–you try to talk to hoshina, he shrugs you off faster than any competent sentence you could possibly string together can form, and he leaves. the rest of the third division seems to notice, too–you’ve noticed twice in a row okonogi giving you a worried look. it wasn’t a hidden secret or anything that you and hoshina got along quite well, so if even okonogi was giving you a weird look…

you’d shrug, simply, give her a smile, and ignore the raging tire fire burning under your skin.

the next time you get a moment with hoshina is during a celebration party following a successful mission. you pour yourself a healthy glass of the strongest alcohol you can manage, and chug down the entire thing in one gulp, wiping your mouth inelegantly with your sleeve. and then out of the corner of your eye–

hoshina’s watching you with a half-interested look–a look more interested and engaged with you than any other time in the past few weeks–and you think the sight of that makes you angrier–so unbelievably angry, paired with new fire from alcohol underneath. 

you turn to grab hoshina by the collar, glaring up at him–

“hey, now,” hoshina says with a light laugh. “had a little too much to drink, darling?”

darling.

oh, this fucking jackass–you think you almost see red, your teeth grinding together, and you can almost feel your lips peeling back in the facsimile of a snarl. 

“you don’t get to call me that,” you whisper, voice shaking with anger, “not after you’ve fucking blown me off for weeks, soshiro.”

hoshina’s crimson eyes open a little more, staring down at you, right where your hand tightens against his shirt. you’re lucky that the hubbub of the party is keeping everyone from staring at you, which you’re furtively grateful for. you think, that maybe you see hurt reflected in his eyes, but that’s fucking ridiculous. why does he deserve to hurt? he’s the one who fucking blew you off, who didn’t talk to you for weeks despite the two of you clearly reciprocating feelings. what did he have to hurt over? 

“i’m sorry,” hoshina mutters, and he leans forward–

“don’t fucking TOUCH me!”

your voice is louder than you’d like, and that gets a couple eyes on you.

your face feels red, and you drop hoshina’s shirt. hoshina’s eyes are still watching you, his gaze unreadable for a moment before he turns to the eyes watching you, a warm smile–a clear facade, loud and clear to you, but imperceptible to most others. you know hoshina, now–you’d watched him, studied him with intensity. he couldn’t hide from you, even if he wanted to. which made the fact he’d spent weeks ignoring you more infuriating–which made this current facade, a pretending thing–so much more infuriating.

“sorry, everyone,” hoshina says. “seems like our lovely engineer here might’ve had a little too much to drink. come on, i’ll walk you back.” he looks back down at you.

his eyes have that same strange hurt still reflected in his eyes.

something about it tears your heart across unevenly. 

“okay,” you say stupidly, and you let hoshina handle your body, swing your arm over his shoulder as he pulls you up. 

the walk back sobers you up just enough–enough to realize that you’re absolutely fucking mortified–did you seriously grab him? but the better question was why didn’t he stop you? why had he just let you yell at him? why had he looked at you like that, with hurt and something like pity in his eyes? and you couldn’t even figure out what you were more mad at–

could he have done it because he thought he deserved it? 

hoshina opens up the door to your dormitory, letting you make your way to your bed. you slumped down, pressing your back against where your bed met the wall. 

“i’ll leave you alone,” hoshina murmurs. “get some rest.”

you’re angry again, upon hearing him say that. how could a guy like him push your buttons so easily? 

“so you’re just going to leave again?” you snap. “how the fuck is that fair? that’s all you’ve been fucking doing, leaving me even though all i want is to talk.  i thought you liked me!”

you hate how your voice cracks at the end, and you raise up your legs to hug them to your chest. “i thought you fucking liked me,” you whisper. “and you won’t let me talk to you, won’t let me get close–what the fuck was the point of saying you loved me if this is what you’re going to do? it’d be so much less cruel to break my heat, just say no…”

hoshina’s silent.

way too silent.

“i’m sorry,” hoshina says, and he leans down, drops on the bed next to you–the bed sags beneath his weight, and he raises a hand to touch where your hand hugs your knees to your chest–but you move away. you hate the way you almost relish in the way he seems hurt, but he places his hand between the two of you, a mediating bridge. “you can hit me, if you want.”

“what?”

you stare at him, your gaze incredulous. 

hoshina’s gaze is painfully soft, mixed with that strange pity. as if he deserves this.

“i’d deserve it,” hoshina murmurs. “i’m sorry.”

“i’m not going to hit you!” you say. “what would the point of that be? to prove yourself that you don’t deserve love? to prove to yourself you weren’t good enough? even though this is all your fault–”

hoshina’s gaze flickers at your words.

“that’s it, isn’t it? all part of your weird complex where you deny yourself things that you want!” you lean forward, reaching out to grasp him by the shirt. “so i was just fucking collateral damage to you?” you tumble for a moment, pushing him flat onto his back. he looks up at you, his lips parted for a moment. you feel your grip shaking for a moment, and your vision grows blurry– your eyes burn with tears as you shake. “i told you i knew what i wanted, you fucking idiot! i wanted you! i still want you!”

through blurred vision, you can see your tears dripping onto hoshina’s face–and hoshina just watches.

“i don’t care if you don’t think you’re not good enough,” you say through a choked sob. “you’ve always been more than good enough to me. do you get that? no, actually. you didn’t–because if you did you would have just talked to me like a normal fucking person!” you laugh desperately, crazily, almost–you feel fucking crazed. “and i’ve been driving myself mad! because of you!”

hoshina raises a hand to touch your cheek.

“take some fucking responsibility,” you rasp, tugging at his shirt. “take some responsibility for this! for what you’ve done to me!”

what a horrible thing love was.

your heart feels like it’s on fire, burned and scorched earth.

“i’m sorry,” hoshina repeats, simply. “you’re right.”

he leans up to press his forehead against yours, and you tremble.

“i was scared,” hoshina whispers. “that the things i’d said to kafka and the others–that you’d never know when you’d lose the people you love–that it’d come true. i was determined to shut myself out–make myself unknown again. i couldn’t–cross the boundary. to let myself have love. or anything like it. not from you.”

he sighs, gently nudging you to let him up. he leans close to you, presses his head against the wall to watch you. his gaze–this exact gaze, you’ve missed it. missed the way he watched you, with brimming fondness–and yet here you can see so clearly that there’s desperate pain in his eyes–bubbling and brimming just underneath the surface.

“i was struck by how much i wanted it. love. you. all of this. and i was scared because it could all just disappear so quickly,” hoshina continues. his hand touches your face, and you let that calloused touch, the familiar touch against your cheekbone, the bridge of your nose, your upper lip. “i didn’t–want to lose it. so i figured i could’ve just been happy with a little.”

“you fucking idiot,” you whisper in venomous response.

“yeah.” hoshina doesn’t deny it.

“i’ll give it to you,” you respond. “love. no matter how much you think you don’t deserve it. you don’t even have to ask.”

when hoshina looks at you again, he seems almost fractured at the possibility of it.

“i know,” he murmurs. 

“i love you,” you say, and your voice trembles for a moment. “you fucking awful piece of shit.”

hoshina laughs weakly.

“i deserve that,” he murmurs. “but i love you. i promise i do.”

you shake your head. 

“i know that,” you say. you reach out a hand to touch his face, and you can feel the smile forming on his face.

“okay,” he murmurs. “okay.”

[pinkbumblebees]

i can feel louise slowly becoming my favourite character. she's the absolute CUTEST and i would call her my little baby but after the movie i don't think I should, she's so fucking adorable you guys

[mitamicah]

This song hits hard - hvala Joker Out and hvala Bojan 🍉

(made two versions since I couldn't decide which lyric I felt the most fitting)

[art-is-kayos]

Dream that I had

I only remember about half of the dream itself, nor have a done more than wikiskim ruina, so bare with me for this.

The general gist of it was the idea that X exists within the Library. Namely, in a subterranean floor of it that Angela first sent him to a short time before Roland first step foot in the Library.

Then the game happens and afterwards Angela decides to open the door, because otherwise she'd have that loose end for the rest of eternity.

However! Whilst the first to enter the Library was the X that successfully completed the Seed of Light, there were many more versions of him that came before, versions of him that began manifesting within the Library.

Each and every X from each and every loop or reset over time began to exsist within the Library, with some likening waking up and having to sort books for a reason they don't really get to waking up and having to manage a facility for a reason they don't really get, and promptly got to work.

Others, especially those who had loops cut short due to breakdowns or suicides or the like, did not cope so well. Dying and turning into anything from a paragraph or two to a couple of pages depending on how many days they managed to complete as manager. They would always be brought back shortly, much to their chargrin.

Many, in fact, have less than positive words to say about Angela, though day 50 X never told them about Angela's betrayl since it would make pretty much everything worse almost impressively quickly. Though, the amount each of them knew would vary, influencing their behaviour. The ones who kicked it earlier on would be more biased towards Angie whilst those that had their journeys stopped at Abram would be greif stricken, for example.

Regardless, Angela finds them all and just kind of has to deal with that. I do not have much else to say as most of my day/dreams are mostly just 'hey wouldn't that be fucked or what' with little else.

Have a good day, none of these people are. ^.^

[hellhoundlair]

general question for anyone whod care to answer: was there a moment that supernatural really clicked for you? for me i was enjoying it as a casual viewer for the first season but by the end of Heart it clicked and i went from enjoyment to obsessed

[shannonsketches]

I don’t care if it’s boring I’m 10000% in love with the idea of Vegeta having a quiet happy domestic home life throughout the 7 year gap and as his end game.

He was raised in an intergalactic mafia and by an absolute miracle got out and was granted his life back. Twice. One of the two last men standing when an entire population gets wiped out. Twice (counting the Freeza Force, by the end of ResF).

His father stopped fighting on the front lines once he became king, to watch over his domain. Frieza didn’t personally get involved in battle (not wipeouts, but actual battle) until Namek. Vegeta was always (told he was) intended to take both their places.

Letting him grow into a protector has been such a great arc and imho it would be so beautifully wrapped by letting him finally get to go home and inherit his crown as the guardian of his new planet.

[ciricegh0st]

yesterday the trailer for the crow (2024) popped up on my fyp and the misinterpretation of core of the graphic novel just fucking sends me.

the horror at the centre of the novel, the utter despair and pain that shroud Eric, both in the source material and the 1994 movie, works because Eric and Shelly were a normal couple of lovers. It's because of such mundane tenderness that the horror of the murder leaves such a staggering and profound impact on the viewer, the violence is totally uncalled for and highlights how humanity's depravity can befall anyone, even the kindest of people (following the drammatic personal story of O'barr).

twisting Eric and Shelly's backstory into a kind of wattpad misfits' one, the viewer looses the element of immedesimation that held inside the emotional value of the movie. By depriving both characters of their normality the intimate sorrow is lost. What was a desolate tale of personal loss, to me, feels more like the search for the next halloween costume.

[enderbugz]

In my professional opinion we should bring back Dibper because Gravity Falls is popular again and they have so much potential, even more in modern fandom culture and also I don't love being like their only fan

[pancakeke]

coworkers asked for help and were showing me the details of a bug they found and I immediately locked eyes with the page like a dog catching the scent of its nemesis. I can name the exact bitch causing problems here and I'm sick of this freak coming into my yard.

[hiseyeisonthesparrow]

Going to BYU and hearing tales of the legacies of punk + ska ensembles like Stretch Armstrong and Swim Herschel Swim and the Aquabats and My Man Friday feels like walking through a city of ruins. Imagining all the circle pits that could be. All the moshes I could have attended. Utah ska scene where did you goooooo

[0-dear-rose-0]

two types of transmasc swag

[bookwyrminspiration]

pretty boy fitz by the amazing stupendous wonderful @lemontarto i'm so fucking unwell look at him LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT

[fuzzbuns]

Ganqing impact

[simsdaughters]

I feel like we're all understanding this, but just to put it in plain text:

This blog is LGBTQ+ friendly and I will not have any bullshit on my dash or notifications. No acephobia, no transphobia, biphobia/panphobia, no nada ! In fact, my sims 4 story will feature BIG GAY !! GAY AND TRANS PEOPLE !! SO IF YOU MIND THAT, SHOO !!