#underdeveloped thought ik

[our-queer-experience]

(anonymous because im really embarrassed.)

heyyy. so im on the younger side of teenagers, and i'm also a guy. have been my whole life, identify as one, have a penis, all of it. but a little while back i woke up with blood in my sheets.

i told my parents and we went to the hospital because we thought i might have some kind of internal bleeding problem or a uti, but it turns out that my whole life i've had underdeveloped but still functional ovaries, and that i'm menstruating. i've found a few stories online of similar stuff happening. apparently i'm intersex. and nobody knew. so i'm just a guy who's gonna have a period his whole life now.

idk what to do, i can't tell anyone, i want to keep this a secret for the rest of my life but i don't know how. i know someone i dont want to find out is eventually gonna find out. i'm 14 in going into 9th grade. at my school 9th grade is still in middle school. and you know middle schoolers are vultures.

any advice of how to do this?

alright. first thing you’re gonna wanna do is get familiar and comfortable with pads. boxers arent the best for this but idk your genitals and what would be most comfortable, so try those boxers for trans men that are meant for pads? its been a bit since i got this ask, so maybe youve tried that, but if not… ik how it can be.

and yeah, middle schoolers suck. they suck really badly. you can tell whoever you want whenever you want, even if that means never.

your body is changing! and its scary! definitely check out orgs like @interactyouth, because you are not as alone as you might feel.

and if you ever need to talk about your situation in ways you cant irl, there are a lot of emerging online spaces for intersex youth and you will figure yourself out with time. im sorry this took me so long to answer, i know it’s a bit time sensitive, and i’m not the best with these kinds of things but i am always here 🫂

[dtacore]

as someone who loves stampede with all my heart i reeeaaally enjoy hearing about why people hate it and what studio orange can do better so i would love to hear your main issues with it🙏🙏

Hello I love yapping about this, and it's not like I hate hate it or anything, it's just not my favorite haha. Sorry in advance for how long this is, but I have been bouncing around my likes and dislikes with my friend for months now. So. I'm putting under a cut bc it's long asf sorry 😅

My main problems with it boil down to:

Pacing - They do major story beats and "reveals" incredibly early (e.g. Vash and Knives' backstory, the introduction of Knives at all, the fact that they are related. just all of it.), introducing the gung-ho-guns in like episode 3. We find out WW is working with Knives in the same episode he is introduced iirc. Similar problems with WW's backstory, it is told very early in Stampede when in the manga he is around for a lot longer before we learn a lot about him. (Also based on it ending before the timeskip, it is roughly following just the original Trigun manga which means they put ALL of the Maximum reveals and events and stuff wayyy earlier than they originally happen). One more thing, idk why they just HAD to make JuLai a "present" event instead of having it happen before the show starts. Like idk I think the fight with Raidei and Legato having Vash set off his angel arm a SECOND time at Jeanora Rock makes a lot more sense for being the catalyst for him going into hiding for 2 years than it being the first time it has happened to him.

Characters - There are a few character/characterization changes that just don't make sense to me. Elendira is a plant child instead of a grown transgender woman. Which is definitely a choice. They got rid of Milly 😭😭😭 even though she is coming in Stargaze that's a whole season of her GONE. STOLEN. She is suchhh an interesting character even though she is kinda underdeveloped, and now she is a whole season behind the other characters, which means she will again be the most underdeveloped character in Trigun :[[[. They completely flipped the characters of Vash and Knives when they were children. Like in Maximum Knives was the softie who wanted to be friends with everyone and Vash was the menace. Vash tries to kill himself and almost kills Rem??? I think it is really interesting how much of their personalities swap after they find out about Tesla -- Knives is unconscious so he doesn't see the convo that Rem and Vash have, he just wakes back up to them acting like nothing happened. I feel like that chapter is SOOOOO interesting and I wish Stampede would have covered it especially since they put so much emphasis on Vash's connection with Rem.

Lore - I feel like the inclusion of "gates" and the "primordial plant" is kind of pointless. I understand that Maximum doesn't exposit that much about how the plants work, but this specific change undermines a lot of what Vash goes through in the manga. After WW dies he uses up the majority of his remaining life force (powers, plant magic…. whatever) just, like. Blowing up. Which is great. It shows how he is emotionally affected by it. And then he uses what energy he has left putting essentially his own life force into his bullets before he goes to fight Knives. Making Vash uniquely able to draw from some external power source makes all of that seem so much less impactful. *Granted, they haven't adapted those scenes yet, so hopefully they are able to make them have as much impact as they did in the manga

Also, here are my most honest reactions while watching and my very messy unfiltered thoughts from right when I finished it

(i meant like overall chapter 80, ik it would be 60 of maximum. And one more thing idk why they have WW using his. serum. special sauce. whatever. so flippantly. bc what is going to happen to him later???? him not even touching it until the fight with Livio imo makes it seem much more of a last resort type thing, WHICH IT IS. idk i'm rambling)

All in all, I am very incredibly excited for Stargaze, and I trust them to adapt certain parts (ahem. couch scene) better than the 98 anime did. At the very least they will include lots of hype moments and aura which is the core of Trimax

[mazzystar24]

same anon talking about eddie’s slut era, just wanted to add:

it would honestly wreck me too to see eddie with yet again another person keeping him from buck and i feel like if they gave him a gay slut era it would seal the buddie coffin because the fandom would all flock to whatever underdeveloped man they try to throw at him and it will be like…. you made them both queer just for them to not end up together??

like i get that it would be great rep for both of them to be queer but i’ll be pissed if they actually go for them both being queer and then don’t let them be together… bc again they are not real people, they are characters so their sexualities can be about each other to an extent, and honestly people wouldn’t have thought either of them were queer if it weren’t for each other so what would be the point??

the thought of eddie kissing or doing anything sexual with anyone other than buck at this point just turns me off the show bc they’ve built this whole reputation of him having a weird relationship with sex and casual dating (yeah ik it has to do with not wanting to complicate things with chris) but this is mr. “sex makes everything complicated” himself, like even without having to worry about chris (which lets be honest…. he’s going to still be focused on chris anyway even if he’s in texas) he wouldn’t go out and sleep around all willy nilly… like the man’s not a prude, but he’s not buck 1.0 either and giving him a slut era to me would feel like a disservice to the character (which they’ve already done anyway with his 7b plot but i don’t want them to make it worse)

Gently and lovingly disagree with the first point cos like both being queer for me would be like confirmation it’s inevitable andddd slut era at least means there is no underdeveloped guy just a bunch of randoms

No cos you’re right like your wording is gonna piss off people but I get what you mean like it’s the same debate of if one was a woman they’d be canon already, it’s like once they confirm them both queer it’s then an intentional writing choice to put attraction on the table through that confirmation

I think his relationship with sex really depends on where they go with him cos there are the Demi truthers, the gay truthers, the ace truthers, etc - like I’m team gay Eddie so for me I see his relationship with sex as more so relating to his lack of attraction to women like he views it as something he HAS to do

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ok putting my saiki k pony ideas here, mostly so i can maybe draw them someday, but also i put so much thought into these ideas and i want everyone to see them

tried to do EVERY character

kusuo- alicorn, no cutie mark

hides his wings under clothes and pretends he doesnt have them, would rather hide his horn but cant and just pretends he doesnt have much magic instead

why does he not have a cutie mark, you may ask?? because he hasnt accepted his quirks+powers as a part of himself.. his special talent is probably helping people but he thinks he only does that because the magic he has makes him basically obligated (its not true ur just a good person!!)

nobody really calls him out on constantly wearing clothes with so much coverage because they think hes just insecure about being a blank flank so late in life (kinda true, but it defeats the point if everyone KNOWS..)

will he ever get his cutie mark?? um.. i dont know.. maybe ?? definitely not in his high school years

chiyo- unicorn, baking cutie mark but idk what specifically, maybe a heart shaped chocolate like the one she made for kaido

specialty magic for tracking, she was a late bloomer with her cutie mark because she discovered her tracking talent really young and thought that had to do with her special talent for a longgg time

shun- pegasus, black feathers cutie mark

underdeveloped wings (like scootaloo obvi)

convinced hes just a late bloomer but hes almost an adult and still cant fly (never will but he doesnt know that)

gets these cool wing extensions that allow him to glide but still not fly

tells people his cutie mark is his "jet black wings" but its actually writing quills

riki- earth pony, heart shaped ramen bowl cutie mark ?? idfk what his special talent is i just think he has a lotta love in him..

HUGE stallion.. HUGE..

aren- a kirin..

has a huge scar where a cutie mark would be on a pony in the shape of an exclamation point

used to let his anger free when he was a delinquent and when he transferred, he was pretty self deprecating about his control of himself but he actually has a crazy amount of self control..

chisato- pegasus, hammer cutie mark maybe ?

almost made her an earth pony cuz of the brute strength thing but i like this better

got her cutie mark REALLY late because she was absolutely convinced her special talent had to do with food, and when she got it while doing a job she was like "WORKING IS MY SPECIAL TALENT??" but it wasnt about the job, shes just really strong, hardworking, and adaptable

kokomi- zebra, golden heart cutie mark

couldnt decide if she was a crystal pony or a zebra, decided on zebra

her mark LITERALLY seems to glow golden light, it doesnt actually but.. it really seems that way

ik her being a zebra may not sound like it makes sense because zecora got a bunch of NEGATIVE attention, but HEAR me out okok.. this pony au would be in a modern setting with more diversity and people would focus less on her being a zebra and more on her being beautiful and having such a unique pattern..

zecora is the only zebra we see in mlp so theres no reason to think other zebras couldnt have blue hair, esp in the era of saikis mind control (idk how that would tie into this universe cuz ponies already have crazy colors but shhh) so her hair is prob blue with dark and light stripey highlights

mikoto- griffon

ik she might make more sense as a unicorn but her fortune telling strikes me as more of an.. outside magic ?? like.. she was born with the ability, but its not a physical magical power, its like pinkies pinkie sense!!

so yea i like her as a griffon, its unique and i like the idea of her feathers having a unique pattern around her eyes thats akin to gyaru makeup (see: gilda but make it gyaru esque)

and yes she can still be colorful, we see colorful griffons in the late seasons of mlp

metori- a crystal pony, diamond ring cutie mark

tells people thats his cutie mark because its expensive and hes rich as hell but his special talent is actually MAKING jewelry..

i like the idea of him lying about his special talent so i had to think of something that he could say its cuz hes rich.. i kinda wanted his talent to be baking for some reason but i couldnt think of how that would work

reita- earth pony, cutie mark is like a cartoon-like ghost surrounded by a scary purple and black aura

was gonna make his mark something more meaningful but i think its funny if people see it and are immediately scared of him but literally all it means is like he SPEAKS to ghosts, like in the most normal way possible

and same thing as miko, he doesnt need to be a unicorn cuz his powers are different from unicorn magic..

touma- unicorn, magnifying glass over a thought bubble cutie mark

the mark is hard to explain but tell me u get me when i say its because hes got stupidly good detective skills and can tell what people are thinking

jokes around and manages to convince people he has crazy magic and his cutie mark actually means he can read minds but he actually isnt very good at unicorn magic at all

kineshi- is a changeling..

why ?? because he just is!! doesnt it make sense for him to be a creature that feeds off of making other people feel happiness and love ? it totally makes sense

honorable mentions 😛

saikis parents are both earth ponies, and i have no idea what their cutie marks would be but heres some silly ideas: kurumi has a cradle cutie mark (meant to be a mama😋) and kuniharu has a boot and he tells people that it's symbolism for like hard work but people know hes lying and think it means hes a boot licker METAPHORICALLY, which is almost right but.. it means literally

kusuke is an earth pony and his telepathy canceler is probably shaped like a unicorn horn in this universe hehe, and his cutie mark is maybe like a microscope or something ? hes just a mad scientist idk

btw chono in this au would def be like trixie lulamoon if u know what im saying.. he would be a unicorn but his special talent is STAGE magic and his horn doesnt do anything☠️

satou prob has that little hourglass cutie mark thats really common in background characters for animation purposes, idk what his special talent is but that would be really funny

[ongreenergrasses]

list 3 positive things about your current fandom(s)

people are so nice? yes i’ve had some bad experiences but overall most people are just really nice and friendly

related to this, I feel like it’s actually reasonable to have discussions with anons, things don’t spiral out of control…people overall don’t hide behind anon to say unkind/inflammatory things, my anons are thoughtful and insightful and want to have a chat and it’s like. one of my favorite things about being in this fandom is seeing their thoughts

in my corner, there’s a huge commitment to and interest in uplifting and working with underdeveloped female characters. I absolutely love that. ik that’s not the fandom at large but it’s genuinely just so nice to be in a space where people care about women, like it’s so refreshing

love your fandom asks

[beepsalotl]

crying ugh i love these characters so much and i hate the world so much except i dont and i just wish i could have what these characters had and be in a place that isnt like this one

im gonna cry ugh i dont know why i care so much, theyre not even real. but, like, in my head, they are, yknow? as in, they exist in the space i built for rhem as i read the series and learned about them and their world

fun fact, they were the first two characters whose books (each is the continuation of the story from a different third-person-limited perspective) had their names in the title. black hardcover w green embellishments for moonwatcher, a nightwing. white hardcover w blue for winter, an icewing. books six and seven, respectively. all the symbolism was there before you even open the goddamn books. yin and yang. AND YET.

and also they had two different histories and their tribes had a stale feud for thousands of years bc of some asshole jerkface. moon knew nothing about it bc she was raised in the rainforest practically by herself bc her mom had to sneak away from the shitty volcanic island the nightwings lived on to hide from the historic nightmare jerkface. winter knew all about it (or he THOUGHT he did bc he only knew the icewing side) bc he grew up surrounded by heirarchy and laws and rules and structure. moon didn’t grow up with the resentment at all, which allowed her a chance to see the truth.

she had to be self-sufficient. he had structure to lean on, even if it made him narrow-minded and nearly hard-hearted. he had to break through that, and she learned how to have patience. i feel like moon herself is sorely underdeveloped but i take the hints i can get and i feel that she learned how to forgive him by understanding who he was through his thoughts and, after skyfire, remembering that he was different inside than out and was still struggling.

when they were together, he was trying to be better and learn and he was kinder and softer even though he struggled to always be like that, and she was so patient with him.

heartbroken enraged screaming ensues, really.

like the rey and ben situation at the end of tros.

having him die in the end undermines everything the skywalker legacy stood for and all the development he had and it still breaks my heart bc he proved people can make bad, horrible choices and can survive abuse and break through it and change and be better and be loved. and then he DIED instead of getting his happy ending, which practically is what happened to winter bc the author basically said fuck you go live in the mountains doing work for peace and studying scavengers (which i know is his passion, but….) and your friends will hardly visit or write and they wont tell you the truth about how they defeated the bad guy WITHOUT ANY OF YOUR HELP EVEN THOUGH YOURE MORE THAN CAPABLE and they wont trust you and youll be alone forever.

my list of pairings and characters that i’m unreasonably heartbroken over:

ben and rey, winter and moon, catra and adora, draco and harry, zuko and katara.

catradora got together, ik, but their story still breaks my heart no matter how much hope it also gives me.

anyway, there’s no way for me to end this bc i dont even know what im feeling. it’s been years but winterwatcher’s fate still tears me up inside with the way it dashed my dreams of seeing a character like winter learn to let himself be loved.

i want to learn to let myself be loved, but i dont know how.

these characters are my attempts at finding myself out in the world and seeing if it’s possible. i dont attach my self-worth to them, but it hurts to see them fail to find romantic love where i saw it. idk

— a quick journal entry i wrote in my notes app years ago, as an emotional 16 year old with identity issues and way too much alone time on my hands

[calamitaswrath]

Lucia plays Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn: Part 3 Chapter 12

Okay, I have played ahead way too much now, so. . . time to catch up on these play journals. I'll also really need to recall my memories for this one, cause the first part of this chapter I began around Christmas, and only ended it after Christmas.

Pelleas is really insistent on continuing the war. Back in the moment that really seemed like it was a clear sign of blackmail going on, but I guess I was a bit off on that.

Blood pacts! I actually read about Pelleas being in a contract with Begnion before starting this chapter, but this was super out of context and I thought it was just a regular contract of sorts. But also, with that concept introduced, my mind immediately went to Naesala, because he needs to have a reason for betraying the alliance.

Since I was streaming basically every chapter for my friend at this point and voice acted all the characters, the flashback scene with Lekain and Pelleas also made it clear to me that I needed to give Lekain a more serious voice. Previously, I had voiced him while holding my nose shut and making him sound a bit ridiculous, but his showing here convinced me that I needed to take him more seriously. Legit got goosebumps reading the story about him introducing the blood pact.

Now I can also see why Micaiah would get roped into some war crimes. . . buying time to find a way to break the blood pact. Good drama, this.

As for base conversations: the one with Pelleas and Micaiah. I've seen some people ship the two, and I can definitely see the basis for it. I'm getting a bit too yuri-brained (for hopefully obvious reasons) to really be for it myself, but I can admit that they'd be cute together.

Conversation with Tauroneo - short and sweet. Looking back though it really is a shame that he never really got to talk much with Ike, considering that he was supposedly a friend of Gawain's. But uhhhh, boots! I already had something in mind for those.

Conversation with Nolan - it's just nice to see him get some screentime again. I can already confidently say that the whole Dawn Brigade is woefully underdeveloped, so I'm glad to see it being acknowledged that Nolan realizes that something is going, but that he sticks with the others anyway.

And the final base conversation with Nico and his mother. . . ooof. Really drive the severity of the situation home, why don't you. Some good lines from Micaiah there, too.

Anyway - I got boots, and I still got the Celerity skill from one Tormod. And in these battle preparations I decided to be really fuckin' funny, and I just gave both of them to Micaiah. 10 movement Micaiah isn't real and she can't hurt you, you might think, but oh boy think again!!

Onto to the battle. That's a lot of enemies here, jeez. And it's acknowledged in-story, too, with talks about actual strategies here, which is neat.

I didn't see any battle conversations with Sigrun, Tanith or Kieran, cause they were just way too out there to conceivably reach. I did read over them on the Wiki's script though, and. . . well, more of the same, more of the pain. It's really nice to see though that even a more comic relief character like Kieran can have a serious conversation with Zihark about this being a battle that none of them really wants.

After the battle - I know that the soldiers are meant to be pouring oil down the valley, but with the way the in-game models make it look, it. . . really just looked more like they were vomiting to me. Thankfully that didn't really detract from the scene that followed.

Tibarn being really ruthless here, jeez. That's what it's like to be on the opposite side of the alliance, I suppose.

I would say that everything winds down a bit after this, but it really doesn't. Shit's fucked, it seems. Ominous dragon conversations - let's be real by this point it's obvious that Almedha is one - Rafiel shocked that Micaiah is on the opposite side of the war, Pelleas finding a way to "break" the blood pact, and an ominous conversation with Zelgius and someone else.

[leatherbound-breakdown]

Book Title: Spectacle Book 1/4

Author: Megan Rose Gedris

Genre: YA Graphic Novel

Feelings:

[ ] Favorites List

[ x ] Made me laugh

[ ] Had my favorite tropes

[ x ] Need the next one (at the time of writing book 2 has been obtained)

[ ] Didn't like it

[ ] Made me cry

Story Summary:

Pragmatic engineer Anna works as a psychic in the Samson Brothers Circus but she doesn't believe in anything supernatural - Until her twin sister Kat is murdered and comes back as a very demanding ghost. Sharing a room with her sister was hard, but now they're sharing a body while trying to identify the killer. with few leads, a troupe full of secretive folk, and strange paranormal occurrences popping up around the circus, solving the case seems near impossible but the murderer in their midst may be the least of their problems.

Favorite moments | Quotes:

Anna is talking with Ike about his wife, Lucy (a suspect in the murder), and says "How can you like someone while thinking they're going to hell?" I can appreciate that Ike didn't exactly have an answer for that question either. I think it says a lot about both characters, how Ike has more faith in his wife than he does the bible she clings to, and Anna just wants people to say what they mean.

Favorite Characters:

Anna (and her magnificent cloak)

Kat because even as a demanding ghost, she is more of a moral compass on her sister's shoulder throughout the story and I think that influence keeps Anna from being too incredibly jaded by the situation.

The bearded lady brings so much sexual tension in the very small scene she's involved in. She owned every panel she was featured in and I don't even know her name. I have a theory that she and Kat were the best of friends before Kat's demise.

Worst Characters:

The deputy/standing sheriff is a trash individual on his own but I felt like he could've had more development and motivation before he... exploded? He could be a good character and a bad person, but he fell pretty flat for me.

The mermaid also felt very underdeveloped. I'm hopeful that the other performers give more of their backstories as the books continue forward.

Final Thoughts:

I don't usually lean towards murder mysteries and admittedly I went in looking for a graphic novel and got this book specifically because of the very lesbian imagery on the cover. As a kid, I too had dreams of running away to join the circus so it definitely scratched an itch for an inner child that still can't juggle.

I still don't know who the killer is, but now I'm invested.

I have the second book, and my judgments remain very fluid until I can see the whole picture of what it was. I wish I knew what caused the fire-but-not-fire situation that was clearly a setup and just got brushed over in favor of focusing on getting the ringmaster out of jail for the fire.

Overall a fun read, and it's clear that a lot of heart was put into it by the author/artist speaking from personal experience. I'm excited to see this story through to the end.

[sydmarch]

- I want my first point to be a positive so I'll say the dream scenes? absolutely fantastic. definitely the best parts of the movie & so often dream scenes end up being lame or cliche so that feels like a real feat. the emotional punch to these scenes was so real. I really liked how many truly compelling questions were brought up by these bits. how much of these scenes are complete dream fabrications vs just karsh reliving memories in dreams? the state of technology in the world of the film is so vague - are we meant to take it literally that becca had this alert collar that detects things inside of her? that surgery is so casual and efficient that she would actually just be like ok I'll be gone for the day having a mastectomy see you in the morning? or is this more a representation of how karsh feels about the experience (especially with all the separation between him & becca's doctor), like his wife just pops out for a bit & every time he sees her she's gradually lost more & more of herself? or if it's somewhere in between, where are the lines blurred? extremely interesting to think about I wish everything else in the movie was this good

-i figured the first time around I wasn't compelled by the conspiracy stuff because it was very convoluted & I was finding it hard to follow from being exhausted/lowkey hungover & I would get more into it on a second watch when i knew what was going on already and wouldn't be getting lost but unfortunately I just don't think it was compelling at all. and so much time was spent on it that could've been put to better use with all the genuinely interesting things this movie introduced only to underdevelop! it's really too bad bcus I thought what david cronenberg had to say during the q&a about people's tendency to need meaningless things like death to mean something, to try & find a story where there isn't one, & how conspiracy can be a manifestation of someone trying to make things make sense especially when someone was sick or died young, was all incredibly interesting! but the way conspiracy was used in the movie didn't really feel like it was about that at all! & as my partner pointed out karsh wasn't just grabbing onto conspiracy as a way to deal with his grief, he was reacting to actual events & information which rightfully made him suspicious, which I definitely think is part of why I didn't feel like the conspiracy angle really landed in the way it was meant to. why not throw out all the russia, no china, no russia again stuff & have made the focus be on becca's doctor from the beginning? yeah it is weird that her former professor who she dated as a student ended up being her doctor! why are we introducing this for the first time 2/3 of the way through the film! idk I think taking the more interpersonal drama angle to the conspiracy would've made it feel more in line with it being a grief response more than anything else. like ik the whole thing is actually just maury (if we assume we're meant to just take terry's word for it?) so it IS an interpersonal drama thing but it doesn't really feel like it at all until near the end of the movie

-for a movie called the shrouds they focused on them very little?? I really thought it'd have more to say about this technology and the implications of it but instead it felt like a very minimal setup for all the meandering spying & conspiracy stuff

-this is so minor but what was up with all the extremely blatant product placement for tesla? "just put the coordinates in your tesla and have it drive you to me" no one talks like that?? & all the shots of it??? even the first time I was like wtf did you guys really need tesla money of all things to get this movie made. & the WAY too long scene on the ipad where he watches the hungarian client talk about his electric car business... more tesla advertising??? ok this wss driving me crazy & apparently cronenberg has a tesla in real life. "I still love my tesla. my relationship with my tesla has nothing to do with elon. we have a separate love" ok actually I'm coming back to this again I take back my this is minor. anyone who's followed me for a while has seen be laugh at the constant & extremely obvious chevy product placement in scorpion. why does the product placement for tesla in a cronenberg movie feel literally just as unsubtle as the chevy product placement in a cbs show which I love dearly but admittedly isn't very good.

-speaking of the ipad I ended up with such mixed feelings on all the screen usage. as a concept having a large portion of the movie being on computer screens phones and ipads made thematic sense & is just very cool & a thing that I like but the execution.... some of it worked really well like when we first see the vandalism footage on karsh's phone which made perfect sense, & a lot of the shots of karsh taking a video call in his car which were always framed very well, were really solid. but some of them like the ipad scene I mentioned above, & ugh the scene where terry is showing karsh her cell phone footage, I REALLY disliked that one it was like 3 minutes?? WAY too long for a scene of that type to work. & ik its just a pet peeve but I always hate in movies when someone's like "look at this video I took on my phone" & shows footage that was clearly filmed on the same studio camera as everything else. just shoot it on someone's iphone or at least attempt to degrade it in post! & an even pettier peeve that ik is a result of me being antiviralpilled where all the screens were real & on camera is that I HATE when you can tell something on a screen was added there in post. it just really looses something immersion wise for me but I KNOW this is a nitpick alas I cannot help being kinda pretentious sometimes

-despite the fact that the ending scene being the end of the movie was EXTREMELY jarring for me the first time around I REALLY like that dream sequence. soo-min appearing with all becca's wounds was GREAT. & I think I particularly liked it because of getting to have the q&a right after where he talked about the ending being more like life where things often don't really 'end' or fully resolve themselves, & that karsh isn't really going to be buried with her in budapest & still fully intends to be buried with his wife. I can fully get why some people would find this annoying (my partners thoughts were like "ok life goes on but you're still telling a complete story with an ending" & yeah I get that) idk I think there's something really compelling about being challenged to explore a story past the scope of its narrative.

-I originally planned separate bullet points for talking about sex & talking abt the vaguely misogynist undertones I got but both things kinda relate to each other so. & I don't mean misogynist in like a "actively hates women" way but more like "yeah unfortunately we live in a patriarchy & that influences things" way. like obviously I get WHY the extreme bodily obsession but it's so extremely focused on that dimension with absolutely 0 of anything else & I think it's not the body obsession but it in combination with the complete lack of something else that made me feel a bit ick. do we learn a single actual thing about becca as a person? what did karsh love about her besides her body? what does he miss other than her body & sex? & I don't inherently have a problem with there being such a focus on sex because it makes sense. but also the sex stuff in this movie isn't even interesting??? idk like he spends so much time talking about becca's body and missing it and what it meant to him, & then how viewing her body & being able to interface with it in the grave brings comfort to him, and there's never even a weird sex thing where he idk jerks off to the feed of her corpse or something? the sex scene with terry could have been really interesting especially with her WANTING karsh to compare her to becca. but he barely responds to any of the stuff she's saying & we really don't get an idea of how exactly he feels about any of it? if not during than at least after? & back to what I was saying before the way karsh feels this sense of ownership over becca talking about how her had her body before him & then had her body again when she was dying makes a lot of sense & is really compelling but I thought felt really unexamined?? & it's a missed opportunity to bring that up but not really explore specifically the idea of karsh's ownership of becca NOW, with her body cloaked in his invention buried in his cemetery viewable to him at any time. & like ik ive often said I prefer a movie give you things that aren't fully explored & gives you more to think about & leaves you with questions but idk when it feels like EVERYTHING about a movie that really caught your interest falls into that category??

-one of the most interesting things in the movie that I feel like was explored at least a little but not as much as I'd like was karsh's simultaneous obsession with looking and fear of looking. it comes up explicitly both when he doesn't immediately check out the damaged graveyard & when he doesn't dig up his own grave & admits he was afraid to but I wish they had done more with it because it was so juicy. the entire mystery of "what are these weird growths on becca's bones" could've been basically solved if he had just dug up her body & looked, like he constantly does at the live stream of her body & the picture frame displaying a slideshow of her decaying, but he WON'T look, and it's fascinating & not explored enough!

-this is totally a sidenote but at first I had felt vaguely like "why do men always have to be paired with a significantly younger woman" like genuinely when I saw terry first I was like ok he had a daughter with his wife. oh that's her twin sister. ok. but upon googling it & finding there was only a ten year gap I had to go back on that like ok he looks older then he is & she's clearly had work done. well then can we let women in hollywood look their age so these matchups at least LOOK age appropriate. but I just found out the role was originally lea seydoux so I'm changing my mind again & saying I was actually right in the first place

I have more thoughts on the shrouds which I'll have to expand on later but basically on first watch I felt like there were a lot of really compelling elements & lots of things I wasn't so sure about but decided overall I liked it & figured the things I was iffy on would come together more on a second watch when I knew the deal but on a second watch it's just more apparent how much of the cool interesting stuff was underdone & the things I felt eh about were indeed just kinda eh

[wttcsms]

ik you said you don’t get it, but love your writing. would love to know more about your process, how your pacing flows so well. good luck w your interview and thanks!

hi! thank you so much for leaving me this msg, it really makes me happy!!! i've been thinking and pondering on how i can answer ur question + truthfully... i'm just rawdogging google docs at any given moment LMAO. occasionally for longer fics, i'll make an outline but for me, it's like... "okay, here's a scene i really want to write. wtf is the context?" so then i sort of build up a plot around that one scene i'm really eager to write + then i open up gdocs and i'm like... hmmm, what to do, what to do...

for me, writing the fic is getting lost in it. i want to be able to build up this little world/au that just absolutely enraptures you and gives you a momentary escape. so, funnily enough, my brain kind of shuts off when i'm really getting into my writing groove. i think that ties in with the pacing question you asked; hopefully you guys get so wrapped up in what you're reading that you get 'lost in it' (for lack of better wording lol). i'm very critical of what i write but i'm also always on a major time crunch, so for me, every fic is too short or too fast paced or underdeveloped (these self-criticisms have always been an issue for me though lol).

sad but true, i'm a total bitch when it comes to reading. if the first line doesn't immediately invoke interest, i'm most likely clicking off/closing the novel; of course, i do the benefit of the doubt bc that's way too much pressure but within the first few paragraphs or so, i can usually gauge how well i'm going to enjoy what i'm getting myself into. so, my own personal goal for starting off my fics is "what would make me want to read past the first line?" that's just something to keep in mind; all readers have their own preferences as to what's "good" or "interesting" so you might think my start to fics are complete and utter ass & that's totally okay!

this all sounds very silly, haha, so if you (or anyone else) wants to ask me more abt my writing thought process + needs me to elaborate more, i'm more than happy to!

[scrawnytreedemon]

OKAY I'm gonna ramble in your ask box for a minute. about ghirahim in the context of demise. we don't get a ton of screentime for demise, right, we dont have a ton to go off. but what we DO see is that he has the similar pseudo-gentlemanly manner as ghirahim. maybe it's game mechanics, maybe it's maybelline, but he creates the lil world and waits for link to restock n stuff instead of fighting him on the spot, and that is VERY reminiscent of the first battle with ghira where he basically teaches you how to fight. and you know what ELSE we see is a singular interaction between him and ghira where demise doesnt even acknowledge ghira. which ik has been played on in a lot of fics, but hear me out. a lot of people have demise being very overtly abusive and outright sadistic, which does make some sense but. towards his /sword/? lets work under the assumption that he absolutely doesnt consider ghira a person. which /makes sense/ with how he treats him when he's revived. so i think, instead of sadistic abuse (physical or otherwise) of ghirahim by demise could actually be seen as less realistic. it might be more accurate to characterize their relationship with APATHY. demise doesnt care. he "punishes" ghirahim to the extent you'd sharpen a sword, or put it away when you dont need it. and imagine the effects of extreme neglect ON A PERSON. ghirahim, with the emotions and personality and /needs/ he was never supposed to have. was going through my quotes folder and i found this, which is one of my favourites for the info it gives (from a book called The Child Finder):

Her friend Diane explained to her later that, in the spectrum of hurt, it is better for a child to attach to an abuser than to experience the blind hole of neglect. Babies raised in orphanages without touch become like little monkeys, shrunken from inattention. Without a face to see, they can even become blind. At least in abuse, Diane had explained, you have someone to fight against. Abuse starts with the premise that you exist, even to be mistreated. It's a running start, she had said.

anyway, you dont have to respond to this, i just thought it might be cool to read. also that paragraph just slams, doesnt it???

Yeah, I definitely got that impression, too? Demise seems to abuse more from apathy. Hell, it's evident in his motives, too-- Yes, he's aiming for subjugation... but it feels more power for power's sake than any personal bloodlust. The fact that Ghirahim seems almost ashamed about flying off the handle, deeming it "beneath him" speaks alot, also.

And like you said! That's a far more insidious type of abuse. The fact that it can leave you physically underdeveloped-- It does make me wonder, are any of the sword spirits we see "fully-developed"? Fi was constructed to have a limited range of emotions, and sealed away right after the Surface War. But I suppose also she did have what would eventually become the Sage Bloodline to take care of her, and by the time the game starts she already seems largely aware and fluent in human communication. Hell, she even throws in a bit of snark.

Ghirahim, on the other hand... You get the sense he's had to build it all up from scratch. I find it funny how Ghirahim gets characterised as this insidiously emotional empath while Fi gets tossed into Blunt Robot Box, when functionally it seems to be the other way around?

(Well, maybe not the insidious part for Fi.)

(Not unless she wanted to...)

Fi was, in the least, constructed with the ability and even emotional capacity to guide her master-- Which requires a heavy degree of empathy: cognitive, and, it would seem, emotional. Ghirahim, on the other hand, was given no such purpose, because why would Demise need guidance? He's just meant to be there, to kill; and when he's not needed, to be put away.

Thrown away, even.

But not yet.

Not while he's useful, yet.

[thailacs]

t’s astro observations pt. 3🌞

hello everyone! ik some of these may not resonate or be accurate (i’m not a professional astrologer), pls take everything with a grain of salt and enjoy😌 these are just personal observations!

i’ve noticed that cancer rising men usually have big noses and bright skin

whyyy do tauruses like hitting ppl when they laugh😭literally i stiff up around my taurus friends when they laugh bc they just start throwing hands💀this can apply to any taurus placement (mostly sun tho)

north node in 1H or conjunct asc makes it VERY easy for these people to be held accountable for any bad actions they have done. or they’re usually accused of things they’ve never done. the aspect of instant karma (in my opinion)

aquarius moons usually take FOREVER to reply to texts or they literally don��t reply at all😭

i noticed that whenever cancer midheavens have pets they loveee posting about their pet

libra risings can be one of the cockiest mfs out😭 unless indicated otherwise in their chart

having cancer or libra/taurus rule your 3rd house or venus in the 3rd house can indicate having really soft hands & long nails

leo sun with virgo mercury combo makes an opinionated a$$ person💀. however, i do notice that we usually do shut up & listen to what others have to say. its bc we can never be wrong, we’re willing to change our mind to what’s right.

another thing i’ve noticed with this combo is that we tend to just say whatever out of ignorance, there’s a lack in thinking before speaking especially if mercury is RX in the natal chart

capricorn mercuries talk sh!t on EVERYTHING & EVERYONE. including their friends. its most likely due to their judgmental & critical nature. they don’t really realize that either, they fr just talk sh!t naturally (especially if underdeveloped)

mars in the 7th house can indicate always having enemies. ppl with this placement tend to be quite sensitive and can be really confrontational - ultimately leading to enemies

moon in the 7th house may indicate putting your entire heart into the people you love. a beautiful placement imo. it can indicate lots of changes in relationships though, and can indicate someone who is constantly catering to those around them and unfortunately dealing with people who don’t reciprocate the same energy as them. it’s important for these people to make sure that they don’t have one sided relationships (if you do, try your best to detach from it and let it go)

capricorns usually have a good taste in style/fashion. capricorn placements all have their own unique style but pull it off SO WELL. this includes midheaven!!

aquarius risings don’t all look like aliens BUT their eyes are always just 👁👁 STARING WITHOUT BLINKING & sometimes they widen their eyes like 😳 but like they’re not blushing…just staring…widely

aries placements take EVERYTHING as competition. something that you wouldn’t expect to have competition, an aries placement will figure out a way for there to be one. i’ve noticed that they don’t realize it too😅

virgo risings actually love talking on social media and expressing their thoughts A LOT. a placement that is most likely to make a finsta/spam acc

neptune in the 10th or pisces in the 11th can indicate friends and family coming to you for advice. usually it’s spiritual advice, like what crystals mean or how to do tarot, how to interpret different tarot cards, etc. (only if those are things that the native takes interest in ofc)

mars in the 5h can indicate feeling ashamed and embarrassed whenever no one praises them when they express themselves

lilith in the 2h can indicate being really uptight with money and always seeking ways to get free money, could also have a habit of stealing or taking things without asking. may also be guilty of overspending

cancer placements tend to have dimples

saturn in the 3H may indicate teeth/dental issues and/or crooked teeth

mercury opposite uranus may deal with people frequently questioning their intelligence or the things they say (especially if mercury is retrograde)

neptune in the 10H may come across ppl who either project their issues onto them, or ppl who idolize them and see them as innocent & to be cared for. this placement can make someone feel like they are able to let ppl down easily with their true selves

scorpio mercuries tend to keep alot to themselves usually by accident and if you get them to talk and be comfortable they can reveal things abt themselves that you would’ve never guessed abt them

And that’s it!

thanks for reading!! see you in another few months💀 i literally haven’t posted since september on here but byeeee ttyl

[xomby]

hi! idk if my other ask sent cause tumblr did something weird so if it did just ignore this ghsdklfj and if not uhh here it is again: so ik this is out of the blue but i saw your art in the classic who tag and it's super good! i'm watching 3's era for the first time (i'm in the middle of the green death rn) and i haven't really paid that much attention to yates, and since you seem to be the foremost yates expert/enthusiast i was wondering what makes him compelling to you? like not bc i don't think he's a good character haha just cause i haven't given him much thought and maybe hearing what you think of his character would make me appreciate him more!

omg first of all hi and shoutout for watching 3rd doctor. basically i think there’s a few reasons i have yates brainrot. i tend to get attached to pretty underdeveloped characters cause i like reading into every single line and overanalyzing everything, which makes him reeally interesting to me cause if you think about him there’s a lot there. i also have adhd so if i gain a passing interest in a show or character it becomes all consuming so i literally only think about yates tbh. third, i relate to him a lot and find him a really interesting and somewhat tragic character. i feel like if you pay attention you start to notice that his whole jovial sort of persona is an act, and he spends pretty much all the time we see him alone being scared/miserable, and he seems unable to really explain that he needs help (plus everyone in his life has gotten so used to him always being fine to keep fighting/being there that when he goes through shit everyone assumes he’s ok and expects him not to be affected). i think he feels like he has to pretend to be all upbeat and fine all the time but he really isn’t. also he’s super funny and as a gay man i love seeing gay men on tv

i think this is completely incoherent BUT i try my best. im just obsessed with him and can think of nothing else. also woog green death and then the next two episodes that he’s in are when his character arc really comes to fruition so be prepared. also once you’ve seen them you can hmu if you want me to go insane about him in those episodes, i literally can always go into more depth about him

[misalpav]

Thor: Love and Thunder Spoiler Review

Ik it’s been two days since I saw the movie. I’ve been too busy to post sryyyyy.

MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND CUT YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

ok so overall idk it wasn't bad but also wasn't good? I think that was the general consensus of the ppl I watched it with

Things I liked

I'm gonna get to the main cast but MATT DAMON SIR I LOVE YOU. I'm so used to watching the guy kick ass so watching that ridiculous play with him as Loki >>>>>. I got the fact that he cameos spoiled but not like this lmfao 💀

ALSO I LOVED THE TWO GOATS LMAO

Thor - ok appearance-wise I was honestly lmao at the beginning during the transition from that recluse look to what essentially looked like a teen gang leader (BUT ALSO LEATHER JACKET MY BELOVED)

And I mean he was funny

Christian Bale as Gorr damn

KORGGGG I LOVED HIM SO MUCH. My heart almost stopped when the lightning bolt went through him but the scene at the end when he makes a baby with Dwayne <333

also the allusion to Dwayne “The Rock” was hilarious

Jane - I LOVE HER but I wish they slowed down a bit with her character arch. I loved when she introduced herself as Dr. Jane Foster or Mighty Thor though.

AND INTRODUCING MIGHTY THOR J TO KILL HER WTF MARVEL

Valkyrie was queen as always and that moment when she kissed the hand of the girl at Omnipotence <3333

And on that note them showing trans rep with Axel was rly nice

I LOVED THAT SCENE WHERE THOR GAVE HIS POWERS TO ALL THE KIDS AND IT MADE THE LIGHTNING TREE THING OMG it was beautiful

Ok but when they showed that domestic scene with Thor and Gorr’s daughter my first thought was Uncle Loki :’) which I immediately shared with ms. @janetsnakehole02​ effectively bringing us both to near tears

HERCULESSSSSSSSS I’M SO HAPPY OMG HE’S IN THE MCU AND HE’S BRETT GOLDSTEIN AKDJHDKFKAUFJHLAU

one thing I suspect though is now that they’ve brought the necrosword and also the concept of celestials and symbiotes into the MCU they’ll also introduce Knull as the next Thanos-level villain in the villain and that’s exciting. I mean, look at him: 

Things I disliked

it felt like there were many plot holes lmao like why was Jane able to destroy the necrosword?? why couldn't Thor ask Eternity for Jane back??

The trailers were misleading, I expected more Guardians of the Galaxy tbh

I think there was a lot left out on Thor plot-wise. There was a lot of potential to explore his emotions with the loss of his family but there was just so much of Jane x Thor I think they should’ve toned down the ship and brought up the family feelings

I feel like Gorr was underdeveloped. We saw him getting his motivation but really nothing else about him. What was his civilization like? Were the gods ever good to his people??

It also felt like there was less plot more jokes which was kind of underwhelming

I think Valkyrie was underutilized

I wish they showed some of Thor’s family in Valhalla though seeing Heimdall was nice

ALSO WHY THE HELL DID ZEUS HAVE AN ITALIAN ACCENT??? it was weird tbh

I also noticed a BUNCH of parallels to Loki and Thor in dark world that they recreated with Jane and Thor and tbh why???? It just didn’t feel as original after that

Idk just overall something was missing

Rating: 4/10 - I might rewatch it for a few scenes but I don’t really care enough to rewatch the whole movie. I’m kind of disappointed bc even though I had low expectations for this movie something about it being a Thor movie and the fact that I just generally like Thor movies made it even more disappointing when I didn’t love it.

[mrdowhat]

CW/ not necessarily spoilers but it mentions Avatar: The Way of Water

here’s what i thought without spoiling anything (again i’m not going to say anything that happens directly in the movie but i’ll be mentioning characters and what i thought of the overall film):

in my opinion i feel like it (avatar 2) was okay

it did what it intended to do and in some parts i did feel like how i did when i was watching the first movie (take what i just said with a grain of salt bc i did watch the first movie on dvd instead of in movies)

regardless, i enjoyed it a lot. i think my own personal bias is getting in the way with how i see the overall movie but ANYWAY, i liked it.

maybe it wasn’t worth waiting 13 years over but james cameron is a known perfectionist so we get what we get

it’s very similar with the first movie in the sense that the story portion of the film (sorry that’s such a pretentious way to say movie ik) is pretty simplistic but it’s the technical aspects that kind of make the movie incredible

genuinely, that’s what made this movie feel so similar to the first bc i found myself so overwhelmed with how beautiful the scenes were.

I did feel a bit disappointed in some characters bc, to me, they just felt super underdeveloped or just lacking.

I feel like I can’t go into that point more without spoiling anything but. yeah like I just couldn’t really connect with some of the characters

which SUCKS bc like.

this took literal years to come out and yet i still find myself a bit hesitant to fully immerse myself in the story..even after i’ve watched it.

AND also bc this story is mainly about the importance of jake’s family and what it means to fight now that there’s something worth more to him than just winning the battle (this is what i took from the film, this can vary from person to person which i understand)

so it sucks to not be able to feel what he’d feel in some scenes ONLY bc i could only partially connect with one or two members of his family

i feel like. to put such importance on family in this film only to have the main family kinda lack in the actual family aspect of family (sorry i’m repeating way too much, i just can’t really find what i want to say ya hear) …is super disappointing

bc (cheese fest incoming lmaoo) i care about jake and neyteri and the hardships that they went through together. i care about how they overcame their grief and fought to protect their home together. even when it meant something entirely different between the two.

so…i should be expected to care /AGAIN/ about their happiness, their family, their love !! and how it evolved from the last we’ve seen them.

yeah like. idk it’s just sad that i couldn’t bring myself to seriously care for their family more than i did

i just felt like i should’ve cared a but more

lmao tumblr user mad they can’t feel empathy for fictional characters…[not clickbait!!!!] [she goes crazy!!]

okay cheese fest OVER !

anyway there’s more i want to say but i can’t go on abt this that much without accidentally spoiling but just know…there’s more…you haven’t heard the last of me … (ominous) ..

i still loved the movie, it was really nice to see jake sully again and i enjoyed seeing the new na’vi. i really liked seeing the new characters! (even though i just complained abt them basically LOL)

honestly the 3D was nice but bc i’m a glasses wearer (apologies) it was really hard to enjoy myself bc i kept getting migraines LMAO

i still think the 3D can help most people fully immerse themselves in the movie ..just maybe glasses wearers … beware beforehand

no intermission which sucked but that’s not really a valid complaint against the theatre or the film so ignore this

i’m gonna make sillier version of this so just HANG TIGHT!

[obiwan]

Honest opinions on Reylo? I didn’t get into them because I thought they were underdeveloped and then I came online to see everybody calling them, toxic and abusive and acting like it was the darkest relationship ever written which seems like an exaggeration to me

I will be completely honest, my knowledge/memory on the sequels is shoddiest at best - I don't know anything about it - I don't know why so many people hate it (I've seen it on a lot of dni lists lol) personally I really do not know, and apologies I'm also not interested. But I will say, of course, of course it's up to people who they want to interact with, but i can't imagine getting riled up over an imaginary people ship. but then again, that's me, ik people think differently and i can only speak for myself.