#underdeveloped thought ik

[mazzystar24]

same anon talking about eddie’s slut era, just wanted to add:

it would honestly wreck me too to see eddie with yet again another person keeping him from buck and i feel like if they gave him a gay slut era it would seal the buddie coffin because the fandom would all flock to whatever underdeveloped man they try to throw at him and it will be like…. you made them both queer just for them to not end up together??

like i get that it would be great rep for both of them to be queer but i’ll be pissed if they actually go for them both being queer and then don’t let them be together… bc again they are not real people, they are characters so their sexualities can be about each other to an extent, and honestly people wouldn’t have thought either of them were queer if it weren’t for each other so what would be the point??

the thought of eddie kissing or doing anything sexual with anyone other than buck at this point just turns me off the show bc they’ve built this whole reputation of him having a weird relationship with sex and casual dating (yeah ik it has to do with not wanting to complicate things with chris) but this is mr. “sex makes everything complicated” himself, like even without having to worry about chris (which lets be honest…. he’s going to still be focused on chris anyway even if he’s in texas) he wouldn’t go out and sleep around all willy nilly… like the man’s not a prude, but he’s not buck 1.0 either and giving him a slut era to me would feel like a disservice to the character (which they’ve already done anyway with his 7b plot but i don’t want them to make it worse)

Gently and lovingly disagree with the first point cos like both being queer for me would be like confirmation it’s inevitable andddd slut era at least means there is no underdeveloped guy just a bunch of randoms

No cos you’re right like your wording is gonna piss off people but I get what you mean like it’s the same debate of if one was a woman they’d be canon already, it’s like once they confirm them both queer it’s then an intentional writing choice to put attraction on the table through that confirmation

I think his relationship with sex really depends on where they go with him cos there are the Demi truthers, the gay truthers, the ace truthers, etc - like I’m team gay Eddie so for me I see his relationship with sex as more so relating to his lack of attraction to women like he views it as something he HAS to do

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ok putting my saiki k pony ideas here, mostly so i can maybe draw them someday, but also i put so much thought into these ideas and i want everyone to see them

tried to do EVERY character

kusuo- alicorn, no cutie mark

hides his wings under clothes and pretends he doesnt have them, would rather hide his horn but cant and just pretends he doesnt have much magic instead

why does he not have a cutie mark, you may ask?? because he hasnt accepted his quirks+powers as a part of himself.. his special talent is probably helping people but he thinks he only does that because the magic he has makes him basically obligated (its not true ur just a good person!!)

nobody really calls him out on constantly wearing clothes with so much coverage because they think hes just insecure about being a blank flank so late in life (kinda true, but it defeats the point if everyone KNOWS..)

will he ever get his cutie mark?? um.. i dont know.. maybe ?? definitely not in his high school years

chiyo- unicorn, baking cutie mark but idk what specifically, maybe a heart shaped chocolate like the one she made for kaido

specialty magic for tracking, she was a late bloomer with her cutie mark because she discovered her tracking talent really young and thought that had to do with her special talent for a longgg time

shun- pegasus, black feathers cutie mark

underdeveloped wings (like scootaloo obvi)

convinced hes just a late bloomer but hes almost an adult and still cant fly (never will but he doesnt know that)

gets these cool wing extensions that allow him to glide but still not fly

tells people his cutie mark is his "jet black wings" but its actually writing quills

riki- earth pony, heart shaped ramen bowl cutie mark ?? idfk what his special talent is i just think he has a lotta love in him..

HUGE stallion.. HUGE..

aren- a kirin..

has a huge scar where a cutie mark would be on a pony in the shape of an exclamation point

used to let his anger free when he was a delinquent and when he transferred, he was pretty self deprecating about his control of himself but he actually has a crazy amount of self control..

chisato- pegasus, hammer cutie mark maybe ?

almost made her an earth pony cuz of the brute strength thing but i like this better

got her cutie mark REALLY late because she was absolutely convinced her special talent had to do with food, and when she got it while doing a job she was like "WORKING IS MY SPECIAL TALENT??" but it wasnt about the job, shes just really strong, hardworking, and adaptable

kokomi- zebra, golden heart cutie mark

couldnt decide if she was a crystal pony or a zebra, decided on zebra

her mark LITERALLY seems to glow golden light, it doesnt actually but.. it really seems that way

ik her being a zebra may not sound like it makes sense because zecora got a bunch of NEGATIVE attention, but HEAR me out okok.. this pony au would be in a modern setting with more diversity and people would focus less on her being a zebra and more on her being beautiful and having such a unique pattern..

zecora is the only zebra we see in mlp so theres no reason to think other zebras couldnt have blue hair, esp in the era of saikis mind control (idk how that would tie into this universe cuz ponies already have crazy colors but shhh) so her hair is prob blue with dark and light stripey highlights

mikoto- griffon

ik she might make more sense as a unicorn but her fortune telling strikes me as more of an.. outside magic ?? like.. she was born with the ability, but its not a physical magical power, its like pinkies pinkie sense!!

so yea i like her as a griffon, its unique and i like the idea of her feathers having a unique pattern around her eyes thats akin to gyaru makeup (see: gilda but make it gyaru esque)

and yes she can still be colorful, we see colorful griffons in the late seasons of mlp

metori- a crystal pony, diamond ring cutie mark

tells people thats his cutie mark because its expensive and hes rich as hell but his special talent is actually MAKING jewelry..

i like the idea of him lying about his special talent so i had to think of something that he could say its cuz hes rich.. i kinda wanted his talent to be baking for some reason but i couldnt think of how that would work

reita- earth pony, cutie mark is like a cartoon-like ghost surrounded by a scary purple and black aura

was gonna make his mark something more meaningful but i think its funny if people see it and are immediately scared of him but literally all it means is like he SPEAKS to ghosts, like in the most normal way possible

and same thing as miko, he doesnt need to be a unicorn cuz his powers are different from unicorn magic..

touma- unicorn, magnifying glass over a thought bubble cutie mark

the mark is hard to explain but tell me u get me when i say its because hes got stupidly good detective skills and can tell what people are thinking

jokes around and manages to convince people he has crazy magic and his cutie mark actually means he can read minds but he actually isnt very good at unicorn magic at all

kineshi- is a changeling..

why ?? because he just is!! doesnt it make sense for him to be a creature that feeds off of making other people feel happiness and love ? it totally makes sense

honorable mentions 😛

saikis parents are both earth ponies, and i have no idea what their cutie marks would be but heres some silly ideas: kurumi has a cradle cutie mark (meant to be a mama😋) and kuniharu has a boot and he tells people that it's symbolism for like hard work but people know hes lying and think it means hes a boot licker METAPHORICALLY, which is almost right but.. it means literally

kusuke is an earth pony and his telepathy canceler is probably shaped like a unicorn horn in this universe hehe, and his cutie mark is maybe like a microscope or something ? hes just a mad scientist idk

btw chono in this au would def be like trixie lulamoon if u know what im saying.. he would be a unicorn but his special talent is STAGE magic and his horn doesnt do anything☠️

satou prob has that little hourglass cutie mark thats really common in background characters for animation purposes, idk what his special talent is but that would be really funny

[beepsalotl]

crying ugh i love these characters so much and i hate the world so much except i dont and i just wish i could have what these characters had and be in a place that isnt like this one

im gonna cry ugh i dont know why i care so much, theyre not even real. but, like, in my head, they are, yknow? as in, they exist in the space i built for rhem as i read the series and learned about them and their world

fun fact, they were the first two characters whose books (each is the continuation of the story from a different third-person-limited perspective) had their names in the title. black hardcover w green embellishments for moonwatcher, a nightwing. white hardcover w blue for winter, an icewing. books six and seven, respectively. all the symbolism was there before you even open the goddamn books. yin and yang. AND YET.

and also they had two different histories and their tribes had a stale feud for thousands of years bc of some asshole jerkface. moon knew nothing about it bc she was raised in the rainforest practically by herself bc her mom had to sneak away from the shitty volcanic island the nightwings lived on to hide from the historic nightmare jerkface. winter knew all about it (or he THOUGHT he did bc he only knew the icewing side) bc he grew up surrounded by heirarchy and laws and rules and structure. moon didn’t grow up with the resentment at all, which allowed her a chance to see the truth.

she had to be self-sufficient. he had structure to lean on, even if it made him narrow-minded and nearly hard-hearted. he had to break through that, and she learned how to have patience. i feel like moon herself is sorely underdeveloped but i take the hints i can get and i feel that she learned how to forgive him by understanding who he was through his thoughts and, after skyfire, remembering that he was different inside than out and was still struggling.

when they were together, he was trying to be better and learn and he was kinder and softer even though he struggled to always be like that, and she was so patient with him.

heartbroken enraged screaming ensues, really.

like the rey and ben situation at the end of tros.

having him die in the end undermines everything the skywalker legacy stood for and all the development he had and it still breaks my heart bc he proved people can make bad, horrible choices and can survive abuse and break through it and change and be better and be loved. and then he DIED instead of getting his happy ending, which practically is what happened to winter bc the author basically said fuck you go live in the mountains doing work for peace and studying scavengers (which i know is his passion, but….) and your friends will hardly visit or write and they wont tell you the truth about how they defeated the bad guy WITHOUT ANY OF YOUR HELP EVEN THOUGH YOURE MORE THAN CAPABLE and they wont trust you and youll be alone forever.

my list of pairings and characters that i’m unreasonably heartbroken over:

ben and rey, winter and moon, catra and adora, draco and harry, zuko and katara.

catradora got together, ik, but their story still breaks my heart no matter how much hope it also gives me.

anyway, there’s no way for me to end this bc i dont even know what im feeling. it’s been years but winterwatcher’s fate still tears me up inside with the way it dashed my dreams of seeing a character like winter learn to let himself be loved.

i want to learn to let myself be loved, but i dont know how.

these characters are my attempts at finding myself out in the world and seeing if it’s possible. i dont attach my self-worth to them, but it hurts to see them fail to find romantic love where i saw it. idk

— a quick journal entry i wrote in my notes app years ago, as an emotional 16 year old with identity issues and way too much alone time on my hands

[calamitaswrath]

Lucia plays Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn: Part 3 Chapter 12

Okay, I have played ahead way too much now, so. . . time to catch up on these play journals. I'll also really need to recall my memories for this one, cause the first part of this chapter I began around Christmas, and only ended it after Christmas.

Pelleas is really insistent on continuing the war. Back in the moment that really seemed like it was a clear sign of blackmail going on, but I guess I was a bit off on that.

Blood pacts! I actually read about Pelleas being in a contract with Begnion before starting this chapter, but this was super out of context and I thought it was just a regular contract of sorts. But also, with that concept introduced, my mind immediately went to Naesala, because he needs to have a reason for betraying the alliance.

Since I was streaming basically every chapter for my friend at this point and voice acted all the characters, the flashback scene with Lekain and Pelleas also made it clear to me that I needed to give Lekain a more serious voice. Previously, I had voiced him while holding my nose shut and making him sound a bit ridiculous, but his showing here convinced me that I needed to take him more seriously. Legit got goosebumps reading the story about him introducing the blood pact.

Now I can also see why Micaiah would get roped into some war crimes. . . buying time to find a way to break the blood pact. Good drama, this.

As for base conversations: the one with Pelleas and Micaiah. I've seen some people ship the two, and I can definitely see the basis for it. I'm getting a bit too yuri-brained (for hopefully obvious reasons) to really be for it myself, but I can admit that they'd be cute together.

Conversation with Tauroneo - short and sweet. Looking back though it really is a shame that he never really got to talk much with Ike, considering that he was supposedly a friend of Gawain's. But uhhhh, boots! I already had something in mind for those.

Conversation with Nolan - it's just nice to see him get some screentime again. I can already confidently say that the whole Dawn Brigade is woefully underdeveloped, so I'm glad to see it being acknowledged that Nolan realizes that something is going, but that he sticks with the others anyway.

And the final base conversation with Nico and his mother. . . ooof. Really drive the severity of the situation home, why don't you. Some good lines from Micaiah there, too.

Anyway - I got boots, and I still got the Celerity skill from one Tormod. And in these battle preparations I decided to be really fuckin' funny, and I just gave both of them to Micaiah. 10 movement Micaiah isn't real and she can't hurt you, you might think, but oh boy think again!!

Onto to the battle. That's a lot of enemies here, jeez. And it's acknowledged in-story, too, with talks about actual strategies here, which is neat.

I didn't see any battle conversations with Sigrun, Tanith or Kieran, cause they were just way too out there to conceivably reach. I did read over them on the Wiki's script though, and. . . well, more of the same, more of the pain. It's really nice to see though that even a more comic relief character like Kieran can have a serious conversation with Zihark about this being a battle that none of them really wants.

After the battle - I know that the soldiers are meant to be pouring oil down the valley, but with the way the in-game models make it look, it. . . really just looked more like they were vomiting to me. Thankfully that didn't really detract from the scene that followed.

Tibarn being really ruthless here, jeez. That's what it's like to be on the opposite side of the alliance, I suppose.

I would say that everything winds down a bit after this, but it really doesn't. Shit's fucked, it seems. Ominous dragon conversations - let's be real by this point it's obvious that Almedha is one - Rafiel shocked that Micaiah is on the opposite side of the war, Pelleas finding a way to "break" the blood pact, and an ominous conversation with Zelgius and someone else.

[leatherbound-breakdown]

Book Title: Spectacle Book 1/4

Author: Megan Rose Gedris

Genre: YA Graphic Novel

Feelings:

[ ] Favorites List

[ x ] Made me laugh

[ ] Had my favorite tropes

[ x ] Need the next one (at the time of writing book 2 has been obtained)

[ ] Didn't like it

[ ] Made me cry

Story Summary:

Pragmatic engineer Anna works as a psychic in the Samson Brothers Circus but she doesn't believe in anything supernatural - Until her twin sister Kat is murdered and comes back as a very demanding ghost. Sharing a room with her sister was hard, but now they're sharing a body while trying to identify the killer. with few leads, a troupe full of secretive folk, and strange paranormal occurrences popping up around the circus, solving the case seems near impossible but the murderer in their midst may be the least of their problems.

Favorite moments | Quotes:

Anna is talking with Ike about his wife, Lucy (a suspect in the murder), and says "How can you like someone while thinking they're going to hell?" I can appreciate that Ike didn't exactly have an answer for that question either. I think it says a lot about both characters, how Ike has more faith in his wife than he does the bible she clings to, and Anna just wants people to say what they mean.

Favorite Characters:

Anna (and her magnificent cloak)

Kat because even as a demanding ghost, she is more of a moral compass on her sister's shoulder throughout the story and I think that influence keeps Anna from being too incredibly jaded by the situation.

The bearded lady brings so much sexual tension in the very small scene she's involved in. She owned every panel she was featured in and I don't even know her name. I have a theory that she and Kat were the best of friends before Kat's demise.

Worst Characters:

The deputy/standing sheriff is a trash individual on his own but I felt like he could've had more development and motivation before he... exploded? He could be a good character and a bad person, but he fell pretty flat for me.

The mermaid also felt very underdeveloped. I'm hopeful that the other performers give more of their backstories as the books continue forward.

Final Thoughts:

I don't usually lean towards murder mysteries and admittedly I went in looking for a graphic novel and got this book specifically because of the very lesbian imagery on the cover. As a kid, I too had dreams of running away to join the circus so it definitely scratched an itch for an inner child that still can't juggle.

I still don't know who the killer is, but now I'm invested.

I have the second book, and my judgments remain very fluid until I can see the whole picture of what it was. I wish I knew what caused the fire-but-not-fire situation that was clearly a setup and just got brushed over in favor of focusing on getting the ringmaster out of jail for the fire.

Overall a fun read, and it's clear that a lot of heart was put into it by the author/artist speaking from personal experience. I'm excited to see this story through to the end.

[wttcsms]

ik you said you don’t get it, but love your writing. would love to know more about your process, how your pacing flows so well. good luck w your interview and thanks!

hi! thank you so much for leaving me this msg, it really makes me happy!!! i've been thinking and pondering on how i can answer ur question + truthfully... i'm just rawdogging google docs at any given moment LMAO. occasionally for longer fics, i'll make an outline but for me, it's like... "okay, here's a scene i really want to write. wtf is the context?" so then i sort of build up a plot around that one scene i'm really eager to write + then i open up gdocs and i'm like... hmmm, what to do, what to do...

for me, writing the fic is getting lost in it. i want to be able to build up this little world/au that just absolutely enraptures you and gives you a momentary escape. so, funnily enough, my brain kind of shuts off when i'm really getting into my writing groove. i think that ties in with the pacing question you asked; hopefully you guys get so wrapped up in what you're reading that you get 'lost in it' (for lack of better wording lol). i'm very critical of what i write but i'm also always on a major time crunch, so for me, every fic is too short or too fast paced or underdeveloped (these self-criticisms have always been an issue for me though lol).

sad but true, i'm a total bitch when it comes to reading. if the first line doesn't immediately invoke interest, i'm most likely clicking off/closing the novel; of course, i do the benefit of the doubt bc that's way too much pressure but within the first few paragraphs or so, i can usually gauge how well i'm going to enjoy what i'm getting myself into. so, my own personal goal for starting off my fics is "what would make me want to read past the first line?" that's just something to keep in mind; all readers have their own preferences as to what's "good" or "interesting" so you might think my start to fics are complete and utter ass & that's totally okay!

this all sounds very silly, haha, so if you (or anyone else) wants to ask me more abt my writing thought process + needs me to elaborate more, i'm more than happy to!

[scrawnytreedemon]

OKAY I'm gonna ramble in your ask box for a minute. about ghirahim in the context of demise. we don't get a ton of screentime for demise, right, we dont have a ton to go off. but what we DO see is that he has the similar pseudo-gentlemanly manner as ghirahim. maybe it's game mechanics, maybe it's maybelline, but he creates the lil world and waits for link to restock n stuff instead of fighting him on the spot, and that is VERY reminiscent of the first battle with ghira where he basically teaches you how to fight. and you know what ELSE we see is a singular interaction between him and ghira where demise doesnt even acknowledge ghira. which ik has been played on in a lot of fics, but hear me out. a lot of people have demise being very overtly abusive and outright sadistic, which does make some sense but. towards his /sword/? lets work under the assumption that he absolutely doesnt consider ghira a person. which /makes sense/ with how he treats him when he's revived. so i think, instead of sadistic abuse (physical or otherwise) of ghirahim by demise could actually be seen as less realistic. it might be more accurate to characterize their relationship with APATHY. demise doesnt care. he "punishes" ghirahim to the extent you'd sharpen a sword, or put it away when you dont need it. and imagine the effects of extreme neglect ON A PERSON. ghirahim, with the emotions and personality and /needs/ he was never supposed to have. was going through my quotes folder and i found this, which is one of my favourites for the info it gives (from a book called The Child Finder):

Her friend Diane explained to her later that, in the spectrum of hurt, it is better for a child to attach to an abuser than to experience the blind hole of neglect. Babies raised in orphanages without touch become like little monkeys, shrunken from inattention. Without a face to see, they can even become blind. At least in abuse, Diane had explained, you have someone to fight against. Abuse starts with the premise that you exist, even to be mistreated. It's a running start, she had said.

anyway, you dont have to respond to this, i just thought it might be cool to read. also that paragraph just slams, doesnt it???

Yeah, I definitely got that impression, too? Demise seems to abuse more from apathy. Hell, it's evident in his motives, too-- Yes, he's aiming for subjugation... but it feels more power for power's sake than any personal bloodlust. The fact that Ghirahim seems almost ashamed about flying off the handle, deeming it "beneath him" speaks alot, also.

And like you said! That's a far more insidious type of abuse. The fact that it can leave you physically underdeveloped-- It does make me wonder, are any of the sword spirits we see "fully-developed"? Fi was constructed to have a limited range of emotions, and sealed away right after the Surface War. But I suppose also she did have what would eventually become the Sage Bloodline to take care of her, and by the time the game starts she already seems largely aware and fluent in human communication. Hell, she even throws in a bit of snark.

Ghirahim, on the other hand... You get the sense he's had to build it all up from scratch. I find it funny how Ghirahim gets characterised as this insidiously emotional empath while Fi gets tossed into Blunt Robot Box, when functionally it seems to be the other way around?

(Well, maybe not the insidious part for Fi.)

(Not unless she wanted to...)

Fi was, in the least, constructed with the ability and even emotional capacity to guide her master-- Which requires a heavy degree of empathy: cognitive, and, it would seem, emotional. Ghirahim, on the other hand, was given no such purpose, because why would Demise need guidance? He's just meant to be there, to kill; and when he's not needed, to be put away.

Thrown away, even.

But not yet.

Not while he's useful, yet.

[thailacs]

t’s astro observations pt. 3🌞

hello everyone! ik some of these may not resonate or be accurate (i’m not a professional astrologer), pls take everything with a grain of salt and enjoy😌 these are just personal observations!

i’ve noticed that cancer rising men usually have big noses and bright skin

whyyy do tauruses like hitting ppl when they laugh😭literally i stiff up around my taurus friends when they laugh bc they just start throwing hands💀this can apply to any taurus placement (mostly sun tho)

north node in 1H or conjunct asc makes it VERY easy for these people to be held accountable for any bad actions they have done. or they’re usually accused of things they’ve never done. the aspect of instant karma (in my opinion)

aquarius moons usually take FOREVER to reply to texts or they literally don’t reply at all😭

i noticed that whenever cancer midheavens have pets they loveee posting about their pet

libra risings can be one of the cockiest mfs out😭 unless indicated otherwise in their chart

having cancer or libra/taurus rule your 3rd house or venus in the 3rd house can indicate having really soft hands & long nails

leo sun with virgo mercury combo makes an opinionated a$$ person💀. however, i do notice that we usually do shut up & listen to what others have to say. its bc we can never be wrong, we’re willing to change our mind to what’s right.

another thing i’ve noticed with this combo is that we tend to just say whatever out of ignorance, there’s a lack in thinking before speaking especially if mercury is RX in the natal chart

capricorn mercuries talk sh!t on EVERYTHING & EVERYONE. including their friends. its most likely due to their judgmental & critical nature. they don’t really realize that either, they fr just talk sh!t naturally (especially if underdeveloped)

mars in the 7th house can indicate always having enemies. ppl with this placement tend to be quite sensitive and can be really confrontational - ultimately leading to enemies

moon in the 7th house may indicate putting your entire heart into the people you love. a beautiful placement imo. it can indicate lots of changes in relationships though, and can indicate someone who is constantly catering to those around them and unfortunately dealing with people who don’t reciprocate the same energy as them. it’s important for these people to make sure that they don’t have one sided relationships (if you do, try your best to detach from it and let it go)

capricorns usually have a good taste in style/fashion. capricorn placements all have their own unique style but pull it off SO WELL. this includes midheaven!!

aquarius risings don’t all look like aliens BUT their eyes are always just 👁👁 STARING WITHOUT BLINKING & sometimes they widen their eyes like 😳 but like they’re not blushing…just staring…widely

aries placements take EVERYTHING as competition. something that you wouldn’t expect to have competition, an aries placement will figure out a way for there to be one. i’ve noticed that they don’t realize it too😅

virgo risings actually love talking on social media and expressing their thoughts A LOT. a placement that is most likely to make a finsta/spam acc

neptune in the 10th or pisces in the 11th can indicate friends and family coming to you for advice. usually it’s spiritual advice, like what crystals mean or how to do tarot, how to interpret different tarot cards, etc. (only if those are things that the native takes interest in ofc)

mars in the 5h can indicate feeling ashamed and embarrassed whenever no one praises them when they express themselves

lilith in the 2h can indicate being really uptight with money and always seeking ways to get free money, could also have a habit of stealing or taking things without asking. may also be guilty of overspending

cancer placements tend to have dimples

saturn in the 3H may indicate teeth/dental issues and/or crooked teeth

mercury opposite uranus may deal with people frequently questioning their intelligence or the things they say (especially if mercury is retrograde)

neptune in the 10H may come across ppl who either project their issues onto them, or ppl who idolize them and see them as innocent & to be cared for. this placement can make someone feel like they are able to let ppl down easily with their true selves

scorpio mercuries tend to keep alot to themselves usually by accident and if you get them to talk and be comfortable they can reveal things abt themselves that you would’ve never guessed abt them

And that’s it!

thanks for reading!! see you in another few months💀 i literally haven’t posted since september on here but byeeee ttyl

[xomby]

hi! idk if my other ask sent cause tumblr did something weird so if it did just ignore this ghsdklfj and if not uhh here it is again: so ik this is out of the blue but i saw your art in the classic who tag and it's super good! i'm watching 3's era for the first time (i'm in the middle of the green death rn) and i haven't really paid that much attention to yates, and since you seem to be the foremost yates expert/enthusiast i was wondering what makes him compelling to you? like not bc i don't think he's a good character haha just cause i haven't given him much thought and maybe hearing what you think of his character would make me appreciate him more!

omg first of all hi and shoutout for watching 3rd doctor. basically i think there’s a few reasons i have yates brainrot. i tend to get attached to pretty underdeveloped characters cause i like reading into every single line and overanalyzing everything, which makes him reeally interesting to me cause if you think about him there’s a lot there. i also have adhd so if i gain a passing interest in a show or character it becomes all consuming so i literally only think about yates tbh. third, i relate to him a lot and find him a really interesting and somewhat tragic character. i feel like if you pay attention you start to notice that his whole jovial sort of persona is an act, and he spends pretty much all the time we see him alone being scared/miserable, and he seems unable to really explain that he needs help (plus everyone in his life has gotten so used to him always being fine to keep fighting/being there that when he goes through shit everyone assumes he’s ok and expects him not to be affected). i think he feels like he has to pretend to be all upbeat and fine all the time but he really isn’t. also he’s super funny and as a gay man i love seeing gay men on tv

i think this is completely incoherent BUT i try my best. im just obsessed with him and can think of nothing else. also woog green death and then the next two episodes that he’s in are when his character arc really comes to fruition so be prepared. also once you’ve seen them you can hmu if you want me to go insane about him in those episodes, i literally can always go into more depth about him

[misalpav]

Thor: Love and Thunder Spoiler Review

Ik it’s been two days since I saw the movie. I’ve been too busy to post sryyyyy.

MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND CUT YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

ok so overall idk it wasn't bad but also wasn't good? I think that was the general consensus of the ppl I watched it with

Things I liked

I'm gonna get to the main cast but MATT DAMON SIR I LOVE YOU. I'm so used to watching the guy kick ass so watching that ridiculous play with him as Loki >>>>>. I got the fact that he cameos spoiled but not like this lmfao 💀

ALSO I LOVED THE TWO GOATS LMAO

Thor - ok appearance-wise I was honestly lmao at the beginning during the transition from that recluse look to what essentially looked like a teen gang leader (BUT ALSO LEATHER JACKET MY BELOVED)

And I mean he was funny

Christian Bale as Gorr damn

KORGGGG I LOVED HIM SO MUCH. My heart almost stopped when the lightning bolt went through him but the scene at the end when he makes a baby with Dwayne <333

also the allusion to Dwayne “The Rock” was hilarious

Jane - I LOVE HER but I wish they slowed down a bit with her character arch. I loved when she introduced herself as Dr. Jane Foster or Mighty Thor though.

AND INTRODUCING MIGHTY THOR J TO KILL HER WTF MARVEL

Valkyrie was queen as always and that moment when she kissed the hand of the girl at Omnipotence <3333

And on that note them showing trans rep with Axel was rly nice

I LOVED THAT SCENE WHERE THOR GAVE HIS POWERS TO ALL THE KIDS AND IT MADE THE LIGHTNING TREE THING OMG it was beautiful

Ok but when they showed that domestic scene with Thor and Gorr’s daughter my first thought was Uncle Loki :’) which I immediately shared with ms. @janetsnakehole02​ effectively bringing us both to near tears

HERCULESSSSSSSSS I’M SO HAPPY OMG HE’S IN THE MCU AND HE’S BRETT GOLDSTEIN AKDJHDKFKAUFJHLAU

one thing I suspect though is now that they’ve brought the necrosword and also the concept of celestials and symbiotes into the MCU they’ll also introduce Knull as the next Thanos-level villain in the villain and that’s exciting. I mean, look at him: 

Things I disliked

it felt like there were many plot holes lmao like why was Jane able to destroy the necrosword?? why couldn't Thor ask Eternity for Jane back??

The trailers were misleading, I expected more Guardians of the Galaxy tbh

I think there was a lot left out on Thor plot-wise. There was a lot of potential to explore his emotions with the loss of his family but there was just so much of Jane x Thor I think they should’ve toned down the ship and brought up the family feelings

I feel like Gorr was underdeveloped. We saw him getting his motivation but really nothing else about him. What was his civilization like? Were the gods ever good to his people??

It also felt like there was less plot more jokes which was kind of underwhelming

I think Valkyrie was underutilized

I wish they showed some of Thor’s family in Valhalla though seeing Heimdall was nice

ALSO WHY THE HELL DID ZEUS HAVE AN ITALIAN ACCENT??? it was weird tbh

I also noticed a BUNCH of parallels to Loki and Thor in dark world that they recreated with Jane and Thor and tbh why???? It just didn’t feel as original after that

Idk just overall something was missing

Rating: 4/10 - I might rewatch it for a few scenes but I don’t really care enough to rewatch the whole movie. I’m kind of disappointed bc even though I had low expectations for this movie something about it being a Thor movie and the fact that I just generally like Thor movies made it even more disappointing when I didn’t love it.

[mrdowhat]

CW/ not necessarily spoilers but it mentions Avatar: The Way of Water

here’s what i thought without spoiling anything (again i’m not going to say anything that happens directly in the movie but i’ll be mentioning characters and what i thought of the overall film):

in my opinion i feel like it (avatar 2) was okay

it did what it intended to do and in some parts i did feel like how i did when i was watching the first movie (take what i just said with a grain of salt bc i did watch the first movie on dvd instead of in movies)

regardless, i enjoyed it a lot. i think my own personal bias is getting in the way with how i see the overall movie but ANYWAY, i liked it.

maybe it wasn’t worth waiting 13 years over but james cameron is a known perfectionist so we get what we get

it’s very similar with the first movie in the sense that the story portion of the film (sorry that’s such a pretentious way to say movie ik) is pretty simplistic but it’s the technical aspects that kind of make the movie incredible

genuinely, that’s what made this movie feel so similar to the first bc i found myself so overwhelmed with how beautiful the scenes were.

I did feel a bit disappointed in some characters bc, to me, they just felt super underdeveloped or just lacking.

I feel like I can’t go into that point more without spoiling anything but. yeah like I just couldn’t really connect with some of the characters

which SUCKS bc like.

this took literal years to come out and yet i still find myself a bit hesitant to fully immerse myself in the story..even after i’ve watched it.

AND also bc this story is mainly about the importance of jake’s family and what it means to fight now that there’s something worth more to him than just winning the battle (this is what i took from the film, this can vary from person to person which i understand)

so it sucks to not be able to feel what he’d feel in some scenes ONLY bc i could only partially connect with one or two members of his family

i feel like. to put such importance on family in this film only to have the main family kinda lack in the actual family aspect of family (sorry i’m repeating way too much, i just can’t really find what i want to say ya hear) …is super disappointing

bc (cheese fest incoming lmaoo) i care about jake and neyteri and the hardships that they went through together. i care about how they overcame their grief and fought to protect their home together. even when it meant something entirely different between the two.

so…i should be expected to care /AGAIN/ about their happiness, their family, their love !! and how it evolved from the last we’ve seen them.

yeah like. idk it’s just sad that i couldn’t bring myself to seriously care for their family more than i did

i just felt like i should’ve cared a but more

lmao tumblr user mad they can’t feel empathy for fictional characters…[not clickbait!!!!] [she goes crazy!!]

okay cheese fest OVER !

anyway there’s more i want to say but i can’t go on abt this that much without accidentally spoiling but just know…there’s more…you haven’t heard the last of me … (ominous) ..

i still loved the movie, it was really nice to see jake sully again and i enjoyed seeing the new na’vi. i really liked seeing the new characters! (even though i just complained abt them basically LOL)

honestly the 3D was nice but bc i’m a glasses wearer (apologies) it was really hard to enjoy myself bc i kept getting migraines LMAO

i still think the 3D can help most people fully immerse themselves in the movie ..just maybe glasses wearers … beware beforehand

no intermission which sucked but that’s not really a valid complaint against the theatre or the film so ignore this

i’m gonna make sillier version of this so just HANG TIGHT!

[obiwan]

Honest opinions on Reylo? I didn’t get into them because I thought they were underdeveloped and then I came online to see everybody calling them, toxic and abusive and acting like it was the darkest relationship ever written which seems like an exaggeration to me

I will be completely honest, my knowledge/memory on the sequels is shoddiest at best - I don't know anything about it - I don't know why so many people hate it (I've seen it on a lot of dni lists lol) personally I really do not know, and apologies I'm also not interested. But I will say, of course, of course it's up to people who they want to interact with, but i can't imagine getting riled up over an imaginary people ship. but then again, that's me, ik people think differently and i can only speak for myself.

[iayhifbigyakwiltbsywps]

Fuckkk I had something really long written but my connection failed and now I can’t find it but this is important if you or someone you know has adhd and takes stimulant medications like methylphenidate. This will probably be weird because I wrote the original like 12 hours ago and I just got home so if the other one magically reappears then they will be really different.

Basically I wanted to make people aware that taking stimulant medications has the potential to do more harm than good. I have adhd and have drank concerta since the third grade and im currently in 11th. I have been noticing throughout the 2019-now time period that I really have lost all motivation and that I don’t really have interest in anything even getting up to eat. And I was like ‘well that’s not alright’ and so I did what every one does: I googled it. I asked google “can adhd medications cause brain damage and lessen motivation?” And honestly I was not really expecting an answer, kinda just hoping to see blankness and be relived that it was just something random I thought. Boy was I surprised.

I actually found this:

This is literally the answer I was too scared to find because a) it proved my suspicions correct and did kinda bring a different kind of relief in knowing I’m not just hysteric and b) this hit wayyy too close to home. The part in blue feels wayyy too familiar to me because all I do Is be on my bed on my phone most of tinge time and my parants keep getting concerned and like “go get a job, find a hobby, do something!” And I am honestly strangely alright with my situation, like I hate it but I still don’t try to change it because I can’t!

Forgot what else I could of said there on the fist draft, but onto the next peice of evidence!

This pretty much said that this meds were tested on rats and that the rats ended up losing all motivation to even react when they should be looking to escape a bad situation. That once the medication stops we no longer have drive to motivation.

This also states that the nucleus accumbens is the part of the brain that forms motivation into action and when you take these meds your actually risking it shrinking and leading to no motivational drive.

Also that there are other options if you are convinced you or your child needs help to lead a successful life then there are other options that are not stimulants!

I also found some videos but could only resurfaced one which I think is the most important: https://youtu.be/nif8TFPhjuI

This video basically talks about one of the beginning trails of adhd medications that ended up being a huge success after the recorded 14 months that this trial was conducted, but what most people who do their research probably don’t dig deep enough to check that after they took the pills away they came back 3 years later to see how they faired. Turns out that the my were actually worse and the adhd was too much or something. ( sorry I’m trying to remember what I wrote but I only slept like 10 minutes last night and it’s already 1am so my eyes are shutting)

I can’t remember much right nos but if I find the other articles or videos Ik re log or something.

Here are the links to the articles:

https://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/06/09/fewer-prescriptions-for-adhd-less-drug-abuse/adhd-drugs-have-long-term-risks

https://www.leonardsax.com/stimulants.htm

There were more but I’m fighting To stay awake right now sorry.

Oh I just remembered something:

This is what happens when you give stimulants to a brain that is underdeveloped (brains aren’t yet developed until they are like 21) so if y’all need meds try taking non stimulants or else you’ll just cause growth problems for yourself

I really hope some people find this useful and that no one goes through what I am cuz it really kinda sucks and I hate it but I can’t do much to change it.

Also after hours trying to figure out a way to tell my mom I had finally told her and you know what she said? She said “if we take you of these meds will you promise to try to care about yourself more?” And like I didn’t say anything but sure mom I totally didn’t just work up the courage to try and tell you within the day I found this informants on when it would usually take me months to say things I think are important but yeah I totally need to try a bit more ugh!

Honestly I think it’s shit that I’m not even 18 yet and I already feel like all my fight has gone out of me. Like if it weren’t for my parents that actually care about me I would of let myself starve to death. And now there’s no way to thank them because I can barely move to get food much less show them my thanks. Mom dad I love you and I’m sorry my brain if fucked up.

Hi just a little edit here, I wanted to say that both articles are by the same person I just put the second one because the link didn’t work for me so I had to look for their actual page that was mentioned. But also I read further down on the second article and I saw there are more links to other related articles in the second link where this person wrote their actual research and citations

[sapphicwhxre]

tiny pansy rant, cut short so it’s *hopefully* not too long:

i. wanted. to. see. her. change! and in my opinion the reason she never got the chance was because jkr used her character to make fun of people she disliked :/

pretty much all the other noteable slytherins had some sort of redemption arc,, and yeah they’re still mostly problematic people but they got chances: snape, draco, narcissa, regulus, slughorn, leta and technically andromeda? you get the point i just—

like miss ma’am decided to make pansy,, the like slytherin stereotype? and have her want to betray harry? she was seventeen ffs, not bellatrix lestrange. she was in the middle of a war? in my personal opinion i don’t think that she wanted to hand harry over out of cruelty like. it’s possible? but maybe she was just scared? also don’t we know that pansy was terrified at the thought of like. voldemort coming to hogwarts? again: everyone expects all of the children in harry potter to be these selfless brave individuals,, they’re kids :( yes ik it’s ya fantasy but cmon. they were supposed to be stressed about the N.E.W.T exams not the upheaval of their society?

and don’t get me wrong i know that she was. not a good person. she was a bitchy teenage bully who was taught hateful views. but i wanted to see her change even a little– even draco marries someone who presumably teaches him how to treat people equally? like. there was so much room for change: she was a prefect, she was capable of some kindness seeing as she liked draco, or alternatively, we could’ve seen her break away from draco and potentially stop hating harry/all his friends quite so much or develop her own opinions. or maybe her group of friends that she used for validation throughout her school years was uprooted during the war and she had to learn that independency? or her pointing out harry could’ve been turned into trying to be selfless, like she thought they’d be safe that way, or she returned later fighting with reinforcements to show she was on Hogwarts’ side. jkr is always like "well they technically came back to fight, if you squint » but that’s not enough. also? let’s say we did get a glimpse of her during the actual battle: there could’ve been anything, the smallest scene, that showed some sort of support or reconciliation or something between her and hermione, considering how hermione was often pansy’s target. everybody wants to see forgiveness between draco and harry because of minor events/details (i dislike drarry but that’s besides the point), but imagine what could’ve changed with some semblance of apology or assistance from pansy to hermione. there were so many chances for r*wling to give her a smallest redemption

but instead we got her characterized as evil and a stupid, cowardly traitor. she the only person we ever see her care for marries her friends younger sister. she’s the written depiction of jkr’s bitterness and her arc is jkr’s vengeance.

also, another reason that i’m so mad she got nothing is because of the whole slytherin=evil thing. she’s made into a stereotype of a “slytherin”— cruel, selfish, shallow, ugly, and asinine. (also i could rant about slytherin forever, but can we just mention that jkr consistently refers to slytherins as physically ugly and just how fucked up that is? i– wtf). but anyway: to give pansy a chance to change is to give the slytherin house a chance to change its reputation. trying to justify that the slytherin house got its redemption because of the actions of ppl like snape or regulus, etc isn’t possible. because all of those “slytherin heroes” were described again and again as being “different from all the other slytherins”. they set themselves apart by being decent. they weren’t normal slytherins, no, they were set apart, they were brave and smart and kind— not evil. there’s no redemption to be found there. i wish jkr would just fucking say that being sorted into slytherin was being made into a villain. she dodged around it with rhetorical questions and pointing out how not All of them are bad,, and then will go on to mock the other slytherins and talk about how the heroes were Not Like The Other Snakes... again: there’s no redemption of slytherin as a house, as a quality, as a concept there. it’s just the redemption of an individual.

in pansy, however, we could’ve found so much more. like i said, she’s The Average Slytherin: not a hero, not a villain like voldemort. she’s made out to be a depiction of the typical slytherin student, one without a “destiny”, so to speak. and so to give her the chance, to see her change, to have her redefine herself? that would be a starting point for restoring slytherin as a whole (obviously not the best way, and the real best thing to do would be not to make an entire house be the bad guys in the first place, but–) to have someone who’s the figurehead of slytherin (like actually a figurehead,, girl is a even a prefect) show remorse and growth gives the entire house the seed of redemption. it would mean that after over a thousand years there could be peace between the houses. obviously not the only factor in reconciliation but still so important.

and not to just continue to heap on my own issues with it, but look. i know that there are so many other ways to introduce “mundane” antagonists without making them a symbol of anything. pansy could’ve been a bitch without representing slytherin. also pansy doesn’t have to break character and become kind for amends to be made. they don’t even have to be fully made, just started. but jkr chose to:

a.) go with bullying as a minor antagonistic element

b.) create and develop a character around that theme

c.) make this character only based on her own negative personal experiences

d.) turn that character into a representation of a much larger group of people

e.) deny that character any final moment that could begin to make amends for her actions and instead, chooses to make her “defining” moment an act of evil and cowardice

f.) either neglects the character or chooses plot points that would humiliate the character in all the glimpses of the future we are shown (ex. how dracos marriage is)

g.) openly mocks and insults the character repeatedly and never directly comes out and proves she didn’t write slytherins as evil

h.) to the best of my knowledge, ignores that pansy personifing slytherin, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and then characterizing both as “bad” and not giving them a chance to grow, is a summary of her thoughts on slytherin ls and is a possible interpretation of the text (i mean her opinions are already TRASH)

i. ignores the consequences of this or the possible effect it has on her entire fanbase and doesn’t seek to remedy it

but yeah, jkr, it was such a good idea to base a character off of your loathesone memories, take your anger out on her, and that choose to have that character partially represent a large percentage of your fanbase. thank you sooooo much. i really appreciate it!

summary:

I. Pansy— deserved an opportunity to have some character development. everyone else’s mistakes get overlooked to some degree save hers. had so many places to draw inspiration/opportunity from. could’ve progressed other ideas in the book and the analysis of her house while still remaining a “dislikable” character

II. Writing— from a “technical?” aspect, Pansy is underdeveloped and stagnant, used for personal reasons instead of as a plot device. perpetuates the slytherin=bad idea via a sloppy and repetitive characterization and emblem. there are ways around this that weren’t used.

III. I have no qualifications to be saying any of this lmao. Am I reading to much into it, knowing that Rowling tends to be shitty with writing details? Am I being dramatic and repetitive? probably!

IV. Fuck JKR (for everything. she’s an awful person)

anyways this has been: my mini-rant on pansy and her analysis,,, and i am terribly sorry,, i offer my apologies in advance for randomly dumping this into your inbox. it’s long and opinionated and there’s no real reason behind it! i just thought of it and then thought about it some more and then. here we are

ilysm mwah <3 should’ve definitely done something more productive but shh😭 rat brain hours

this is everything, you're completely right. i don't have much to add but i agree all the way. and people give pansy so much shit for the harry thing but she seemed genuinely scared of voldemort coming back and i really think that she believed he would leave them alone if they gave him up. from her perspective, it's either her and the people she cares about get to live or this guy that she not only isn't close to but probably sees as the bad guy considering she dated/was best friends with draco and witnessed their rivalry from his side. did she make the best decisions? no, not at all but i see her reasons and i don't think it makes her this antichrist that jkr makes her out to be. she pulled the “he's just a boy” with draco and had people sympathise with him when he did so so much worse than pansy did so why doesn't that apply to her? she's a kid. they all are. i love harry, ron, and hermione SO MUCH but jkr really said fuck everyone who isn't them ─ especially any girl who isn't her precious hermione. she projected her own pettiness onto fictional characters who are CHILDREN and proceeded to get upset when people connected to and loved other people that she herself made. creating such an underdeveloped character and expecting people to hate her just because she imagined her as her bully is beyond immature and ridiculous. anyways. jkr take a fucking chill pill and leave my girl alone.

[teamjacobthot]

Thoughts on smeyer’s writing style? Like how she wrote her story in terms of characterization, dialogue, description, etc.

@itsafuckingwolfthing (idk why it won’t let me tag you!!!!!) honestly, I first read twilight when I was 11 and it was the most advanced and longest book I’d read at the time (I was just coming off babysitters club and fear street books at the time). so back then I thought it was amazing, and I haven’t had a reread of any of the books besides breaking dawn since then (but maybe I should???) I did read like 80% of life and death one time in 2016 tho

anyways based on the bits I see blogs reposting on here of the original books smeyer isn’t the kind of writer I wanna emulate. it overall just comes off kinda……flat.

in terms of characterization I think I’d have a lil more respect for it if smeyer didn’t introduce so many side characters and not elaborate on them for general worldbuilding. everyday we get on this app and talk shit abt her underdeveloped characters and honestly? I think that’s a huge pitfall of twilight being told in the first person perspective. that combined with the past tense makes it read sorta like a diary, and I have no problem w past tense at all, but the first person just isn’t my thing. limited third person would’ve been better along with bella interacting w more characters. third person can still be personal.

I also feel like the series should’ve taken place over more time, and (yes I know this is controversial but) had maybe 2 more books. another book or 2 could’ve allowed for more character development and more setup time for the finale, breaking dawn. it’s just like…….give us a fleshed out world! take your time!!! utilize your editors!!!!!! ik money talks but what’s the rush?

next I thought the dialogue was ok? some lines were funny, like “the wasting of finite resources is everybody’s business” or whatever, and bella and jacob had some playful banter I liked. leah had some fun lines too. but it irks me when I can tell when dialogue was written without considering how people actually talk to each other, and I think that was a major flaw within the movies. like even with the dramatic ass vampires. the movie scripts were so so SO awkward but I didn’t mind the dialogue in the books, from what I remember.

technicality wise I don’t really like passive verbs and try to avoid them at all costs in my writing, and I wish smeyer did the same since they’re avoidable with the right editor on your ass abt it.

can y'all send some asks that are like “thoughts on ______”

[floralovebot]

I read your timmy/riven/helia headcanons and I LOST IT hahahaha I love it! I just got curious about that sad headcanon you mentioned about helia (I think about his past?)? Like you have said, like other people I project into him a lot so he's my favorite and wanted to know about that hc cuz now I can't stop thinking about it 🙊

AHH A FELLOW HELIA STAN MY BELOVED!!! HI!!!!

okay so,, i'd like to preface this with a couple things. 1. it's based off of a rewrite that i've had in my head since i was like, 10 and i'm never actually gonna write/post it kldhglahdgl. 2. i want to explain why i came up with this backstory and headcanon! cause ik anyone who isn't a helia stan or at least really likes him, probably won't understand (not in a gatekeepy way but in a "this character is so underdeveloped that if you haven't paid attention to every little thing about them you probably won't immediately catch on to the thought process behind this" kind of way).

So,,,, oh dear okay first no one is allowed to judge me. if you judge i'm gonna cry >:(

When I was trying to come up with Helia's backstory, a lot of different ideas went through my mind. Naturally being a Helia stan, I first went with the "he grew up at red fountain" route! But then I realized I wanted something with a little more umph, and as I realized certain things about him, growing up at RF (red fountain) didn't immediately make sense? At least,, not completely... You see, Helia is a major perfectionist (we've covered this in past lessons) and a major escapist. Something that stands out about him though, is that everyone we've seen that knew him for a long time (ie family members or childhood friends) are extremely supportive of him and understanding of mistakes (even bigger ones).

Helia's escapism has a direct connection to his perfectionism, ie if he makes a mistake, no matter how small or inconsequential, he freaks out and leaves. Something that makes him slightly different from other, similar characters though, is that his perfectionism only has to do with himself (usually). He doesn't worry about what other people think of him, only about the guidelines he's set for himself. So, if he makes a mistake that crosses those guidelines or rules, that's when he gets upset and leaves. (I honestly think him leaving RF for art school the first time could've been a product of this, though that's heavily just thinking and not canon).

While anyone can be a perfectionist and escapist without any big reason, I really wanted to explain why Helia is like that. His issues in particular seem more based on fear and invisible rules than just feeling inadequate (like some of the other escapists in the group... ahem bloom ahem). One thing that really stood out to me, was the arc in the comics where he left the school for a third time because he made a mistake on a mission that almost cost Brandon and Codatorta their lives. He let emotions and personal life get in the way of what he was doing and that allowed someone to mess with their ship, causing a malfunction that almost killed them. Helia, instead of trying to figure out what happened, immediately resigned from the school because "a good specialist wouldn't have done that". He places these almost impossible standards on his entire life, both personal and work-related. And again, while that can happen to anyone, the level he does this at is so much higher than the other characters (even the royals who are notorious for doing this).

I want to preface this next bit with I'm a dumb bitch who's obsessed with apocalyptic media. So like,, the backstory I came up with is that his planet basically got overrun with monsters born from wild/dark magic and that most people died in the chaos. This happens when he's very young and he only survives because he had adults taking care of him. Eventually, he would get separated from his family and come across another group of survivors are willing to bring him along. He ends up bonding with a young woman who he essentially uses to replace his mom (cause yknow,, kids need parents and all). At some point, they're looking for food or medical supplies and he makes a mistake (likely making a loud noise or something) that draws monsters to them. The young woman saves him and in the process sacrifices herself. Cue survivor's guilt that transforms into extreme perfectionism. After this, he would run away and eventually Codatorta finds him because specialists were sent to find survivors. Cue him growing up at RF where he can get the proper training but he's too young to go on missions. This sparks the perfectionism and starts the escapism. (Not even gonna pretend that this backstory isn't heavily inspired by tlou and twdg.)

I also wanted a reason for why he's so heavily protective of Saladin, a very strong wizard who's been in countless wars and by all means, doesn't need protection. Like,, obviously they're family so duh. But idk,, his protectiveness of Saladin tends to overshadow his own life (for instance in the comics I mentioned earlier, Helia only comes back to RF because he had to help save Saladin and in the process gives up his job as an artist). I wanted to explain why Helia is such a good specialist but is also constantly trying to get away from that life (ie he grew up there and doesn't want to live in war constantly). I also wanted to explain why Helia seems so unphased when things happen! Like he just,, he shows emotions, but they're so subdued compared to everyone else.

OKAY ANYWAY,, jeez this is long already (and I condensed it... I have an entire google doc that explains all of this in a much more eloquent way). The trivelia headcanon was about Helia feeling comfortable sharing these things with them. He would bond with Riven specifically over not knowing/having family. Over the years, Helia would share just the tiniest little tidbits here and there about what happened (this apocalypse coincided with the Domino war and as such no one helped them. the Magix news centers kept pushing this issue aside to the point where a lot of people don't even know it happened) and how he feels about it. Like I've said before, Helia has a hard time talking about his life and especially his emotions. So Riven and Timmy (and Flora :) ) would really be the only ones who get to hear these tidbits. Eventually, Helia would have to go back because there are rumors that the monsters are trying to spread to other planets. Timmy would be his main source of communication when he's there as the others wouldn't be allowed to go (since they aren't native to the planet and could be in danger with the wild magic around [.. things happened to the first specialists that got sent... not good things]). (Also not gonna lie that the monsters are heavily inspired by the aliens in a quiet place.. In the google doc, I have an entire section dedicated to the monsters alone alkgdldajg).

.... this is so long.........