#um yeah i made this up as i went
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What do you think Dion's mind is like?
Okay so first I'm gonna analyze Dion a little because his situation sets it up pretty well...
Raz mentioned how his family has always moved around a lot, and we see how quickly they make themselves at home in some random location. I think Dion is probably affected by this fast-paced lifestyle a lot, especially since he's been doing it the longest of any of the Aquato kids. He probably wanted to run away like Raz did when he was younger, but he always had this weight of responsibility on him. Dion wanted to be carefree as a kid but that oldest sibling problem hit him so hard and he bitterly accepted from a young age that he'd have to be super helpful and responsible to his parents all the time else he'd be some sort of burden on them. And he didn't want to be a problem child. There were already too many children, one of them was bound to out themself as a problem child any day now. So Dion became a real mama's boy. It was easy to win every argument or win favor when you do everything your mother asks. It doubles up when in the circus, your mother is also like your boss.
When Raz ended up being the "problem child" by running away, Dion became extra resentful towards him because Raz had just done the exact thing that Dion had been holding back on his whole life because he cared about the family. Dion is obviously just extremely jealous
Okay now the actual brain description. So I was just thinking about what I think non-psychic brains are like and I think they're classified by the absence of the person in question within their own mind... So different parts of Dion's personality are represented by mental figures instead of his actual self, sort of like how Gloria and people in her life are represented by Bonita and Becky and Jasper, etc.
I can see his mind being a giant moving caravan, with the outside environment being completely insignificant moving scenery. It is moving very fast. The weight of his responsibility of the oldest child is represented by lots of heavy luggage on the back of the caravan. Since he isn't a psychic but his issues are so family-tied, I would represent each family member by a circus animal version of them. The caravan is led by a fleet of tiny ponies, and Raz, who is definitely a monkey in his mind, is riding Sugarcube alongside the caravan and taunting the family with his "psychic tricks". The place where Sugarcube has been removed from the fleet is making the caravan shake rapidly.
The mental figures representing Dona and Augustus are holding the reins of the caravan, blissfully unaware to the fact that behind them, the mental figure of Dion is struggling to hold all the shaky luggage on the caravan. The mental figure of Frazie is constantly poking at Dion and criticizing him, trying to make him mess up. Queepie and Mirtala's mental figure animals are crawling all over the luggage, unknowingly threatening to mess everything up for him as well. Nona is sitting on the back of the caravan, her feet hanging off the edge, despite how fast everything is going. (He worries about Nona and her poor memory. How fast everything moves around her and how she has no familiarity in her life outside of her family.)
So yeah. Dionysus Aquato your brain is the world's worst family road trip: furry edition.
#um yeah i made this up as i went#dion aquato#hcs#ask#anonymous#.txt#reminder to self to draw this maybe#bc my mental image of this slays majorly
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🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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Oh ok. I get now why a lot of people didn't vibe with the ending.
All and all: excellent manga, overall very good final act, too rushed final 2-3 chapters but weak and honestly mediocre epilogue, which makes the high of the ending kind of leave a bitter taste. I think Noda had a good steed and suddenly he had to finish and had to rush all. So the ending in the sense of the final arc was good but the ending proper (final couple chapters) + epilogue......... Not so much
#i liked rhe ending (though made the mistake to read comments so now I'm like 'yeah you are right that did not make sense' when on my own i#probably would not have noticed. but ok. I'll work my suspension of disbelief. HOWEVER the epilogue WAS indeed very lackluster#i get it's an epilogue but it was so rushed. we barely get a closure for ume and saichi and tanigaki did not get to#take asirpa back to uci as he should have (though he was instrumental for that). overall it was super rushed#like we did not even see how Sugimoto was rescued. the epilogue was faaaar too rushed tbh and also too vague in parts#siraishi not really saying goodbye.... also sugimoto and asirpa living together that's cute idc and i think the line into nastyness was not#crossed but oh boy is it a thin thread... i still choose to believe they are platonic soulmates lol but i want to see an official#translation of the volume that's all i say. what else... oh yes. the way the gold never got to actually be distributed doesn't sit right#with me at all but the worst part was definitely the sugimoto/ume thing oh god that was BAD#we did get to see osoma which was cute#OH AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON VASILY??? We didn't even see him. the epoligue for him in particular was great though but his ending was not#like he just hanged around ogata gor chapters and chapters on end and we don't even get a glimpse of him during the final showdown??#tbh i think noda wanted to do something more with him but realized he did not quite fit into the story and in the end got#caught up with all the main lines he did have to close and he obviously had planned and probably combined with his own exhaustion well#did not go nice for vasily! i also would have liked a more proper epilogue for tsukishima and koito. they deserved it#I don't like how pre-epilogue the tsukishima-tsurumi-koito tension seems to reach a breaking point only to kind of not get resolved because#they have to keep fighting lol.#laura reads#also i get the sentiment of the ending regarding the ainu and i think noda did his best but it seems like a rather soft thing for asirpa to#do like... sure. museums and stuff. i GET it but it goes a little too soft in the actual colonialism that went on from the japanese. i feel#noda starts off fairly critical of that but in the end softens his stance which is a shame but ok. the bar is in hell so this is actually#much better than average from what i can personally gather of my little knowledge#golden kamuy#gk spoilers
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not my best work as i was mostly tired when i drew this but. slugcats <3 rivulet is like a seal to me. btw
will do the other three next
#pinemartart#rain world#rain world downpour#slugcat#rw artificer#rw rivulet#rw spearmaster#rain world slugcat#rw downpour#i was drawing this last night while me and my friends went insane in a vc#deer was reading stupid fucking fanfics outloud. insanity#yeah i'm outing you guys in the tags. cream was also there#we were reading a dreamxreader fanfic btw. it was so crazy#although i ended up staying up til 2:30 am. which made me get up at like. 1 pm. so um#yhea.
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Getting into stuff that has a lot of pre-announced release dates is really good for me like vocal synthesizer products and new love live etc franchise music releases....I'll be lying in bed at like 2 AM with ur usual 20-something's fear and existentialism over time and the future and then I'll remember a piece of singing software or a new song related to cartoon characters I like is gonna come out like next month and I'm like 😌
#this keeps happening to me with the upcoming december#miki and kiyoteru sv.....im so excited...if they get delayed ill scream#jk jk ill be fine but i do hope we get some demos in November soon!#soyogi still doesnt have a concrete release date but hes also probably december#now if HE gets delayed i will actually explode. i will spontaneously burst into flames#the other night i had a dream about aivoice2 ryuusei coming out. which is a normal thing to happen#it literally was just like i went online and saw videos people made with him SHDBFBSJFNFN#premonition dream...this is what will happen in november#but it reminded me i wasnt as familiar with how aiv2 sounds with a2sync. i like the aiv1 kotonosync situation#BUT it is very noisy and the vocals usually sound like lalavoice with the slightly obvious looping#which is charming but not as versatile in the grand scheme of talk synths made to sing#just the nature of it. but a2sync sounds FANTASTIC i was really shocked. im curious how his#particularly deep voice will sound compared to a more medium gentle tone like iori but im excited#im really curious how he'll sound compared to vv humming ryuusei#now what weve seen of his design.....im not suuuper into quite yet. its not BAD and well see when its fully out#but i dont care for the blue hair bits. im picky about hair dye in alternate designs#i like his gray black default situation too much. also i DO like how slutty his design is looking#but also it might look um. a little too much for a talk synth? like brother whats going on here#why are u so dressed up to chat ....i guess for fun#then again his aiv1 design was also probably more appropriate for singing synths rather than talking But I like that one more LOL#doesnt matter too much for me though im more interested in the unofficial singing side stuff AHDBFHSHFBDJJD#which also reminds me i hope someday aiv1 vy series can get a aiv2 update#a full singing synth would be nicer but i wouldnt mind a talk turned singing synth. i know everyone hates the aiv vy designs#i dont hate them theyre not great but theyre fine for talk synths. i think nancy is hilarious. white woman jumpscare#im not a huge fan of the main fanon vy designs (theyre good but they dont fit to me) so i dont mind the aiv ones#even if its just two random people SHBFJFAJFJFJSJJF but yeah i hope they get a aiv2 someday#i think it would be fun to make em sing with a2sync hee hee#also on the ll end i am so excited for dia birthday album end of dec#AND all the new liella tunes. i still havent watched the new season because i havent been able to sit down and enjoy it yet#but soon....next week ill have time...sooooooon
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lgbt lit was funny as hell we spent the first 20 finishing up our fun home discussion and the rest of the time discussing slurs
#also its so funny being who i am because i look like A Vaguely Quiet and Polite Girl Nerd but um. am not all those things.#and. like i cant remember how we got on the topic but my prof mentioned how when we were reading giovannis room he made some comment on#davids body count where he claimed he had only slept with joey prior meeting giovanni and me + one other person were like uh no he didnt#(and acknowledging that he was being a little liar in these moments was integral to my reading/interpretation but i digress)#and i objected with. he was like i was so shocked because you went out right 'when he was sucking dick in an alleyway' and youre a--#then he like straight up referred to me as a 'young lady' LMFAOOO sure. but its like oh hm yeah i can see how that would be unexpected.#then we got onto the topic of tumblr. as we often do as queer 18-20~ somethings. and i mentioned i had one and he was like. ren D:#i know buddy. if the sucking dick comment shocked you you would keel over reading some of the other stuff i post about here.
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🖊🖊🖊🖊 for diana ofc
a fun little fact about diana is that she wears her watch with the face on the inside of her wrist
while working for umbrella (well, undercover for the rival company, that is), diana's employment was never common knowledge to the public – because why would a pharmaceutical company need a herpetologist? instead, she simply held a position as a researcher at raccoon university, and would occasionally do lectures, but for the most part she would just take the cable car underground to the nest
when diana collaborated with the connections through h.c.f. in the early 2000s, they named one of the d-type bioweapons after her
diana saw a lot of her younger self in sherry when they first met due to the similarities in their situations with their parents, and the way she behaved around both herself and albert. despite her dislike of children, she couldn't help but feel for her and even came to enjoy when she would stay over on occasion (i'd love if my brain would let me finish the rewrite of their first meeting because i touch on all of this in there and diana's thought process ough)
#asks.#denerims#oc: diana#thank youuu emily!! ilysm 💖💖#i think for the diana asks some things are going to be like things i have probably mentioned before but just like a lil more in depth...#you know how i am. or like things i've deleted since posting them. it's fine. i'm normal about her!! but many lil tidbits in my brain i can#share about her too. just not sure if i have enough rn for the couple of asks i got with lots of pens lmaooo head empty and i've talked#about her SO much that there's not much that's not around here somewhere on my blog in previous ask games oopsies or on her page#also ngl i'm forever mad that in the 3 remake they made nest 2. because the university lab was where the vaccine research for the#t-virus was done when things went to shit and they named that daylight. and then for the creating weapons to combat the b.o.w.s and also#test the bioweapons against one another was done at the r&d centre... i'm fine i'm okay it's okay. capcom can i pleaseeee have an outbreak#remake!!! i miss her!!!! but yeah that's weird cause nest 2 didn't exist originally and the nest was a lot bigger?? it's fine.#anyways she just did her typical like Legal research with herpetology and virology there as a front but then she'd take the cable car#underground to the nest because my rules. if travel to the nest was available by cable cars from the waste facility / treatment plant /#arklay labs / rpd sewers & training facility then i can add another one beneath the university :) ALSO in outbreak they travelled to the#actual nest from the hospital and not nest 2 :) so yes. underground system for employees to access all facilities basically 💅🏼#i originally had her work at the chemical plant as her front but then i went no that would make no sense for her background and like both#of the birkins were already there so it would just be too much going on there and needed to split them up#OH also. sorry omg i talk so much but you know me <3 the part about her working at the university. i literally had this mentioned in that#fic where she went over to the s.t.a.r.s. office and um things happened but i cut that off early cause i liked it ending where it did
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stuff’s wildin’, my dudes
#auhxhsjahs i n c o h e r e nt rambling coming right up you’ve been warned o k ie~?#so the other day i finally found out about that [redacted thing (if ykyk)]’s (thankfully outdated) mistranslator masterlist and stuff#and i googled the op of that list to see what others had to say about ‘em#(cuz personally i found the dude’s tone through it all to be. pretty mean actually??)#(like h e l p tling probably isn’t these people’s day jobs; they’re probs just hobby tlers?? ease up my g~~~)#b u t i digress. despite having searched for the op of that post i somehow found a post by another fan tler who seemed to have vanished?#*vanished from that [redacted] tling community i mean. they just stopped uploading years ago. prolly bc their main yt channel was terminated#and they??? despite having not made a single post in almost 10 years??? seem to be alive and well in this current age?????#like yoooooooo i’ve legitimately had the thought that something bad had happened to ‘em for y e a r s but they!!! they’re alive!!!!!!!#they seem to have stopped tling for good but!!!!! they’re alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so i guess i can say that i went hunting for trash and found treasure instead o o o p—#but on another note. i think gatekeeping tling isn’t cool at all.#like yeah there can be some really fishy tls (including official tls a he m) but being mean about it helps no one at all#and so! that’s why! i keep my big mouth shut whenever i see fishy tls floating about the vast open sea in front of me~~~#i mean. quite a number of those fishy tls are mine anyway. so. um. i don’t have any room to say anything really ahaha~~~~#but please!!! feel free to blast my tls if you’d like!! my absolutely terrible daikirai tl is a free for all!!!!!#g o d i should really revise that soon. it’s terribly mistranslated and i cringe and wilt inside.#it is suiyoubi my dudes#well. not anymore but… it is still suiyoubi in my heart <3
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Bump in the Night & Sleeptober Day 10: Open Graves & Ascend
#6#Bump in the Night#Bump in the Night 2024#Sleeptober#Sleeptober 2024#Sleep Token#IT’S STILL THE 10TH#Augh I’ve gotta get better at this#The Sleeptobers are mostly done it’s the BITN that keeps coming for me#Um but yeah I wanted to do Hollow Moon by TCW with Lenore from Nevermore but like I already have a Nevermore prompt list so like#Felt strange doing that#And then I couldn’t think of any other thing that went with this#Closest I got was the TMAGP episode ‘Marked’ but that’s general and not visual so I would’ve need to come up with something#Don’t got the time for that#So here’s me falling into a hole#BUT THEN#omg I struggled finding the idea for this sleeptober. I wanted to use the avatar for the song but she ended up being too complicated#With her knight helmet and all so I scrapped her and then thought of animating a part I liked but that DEFINITELY takes too long#So I struggled and struggled but then I thought of the Red Rocks performance of Ascensionism and the way Vessel screams “ascend”#And then I combined it with the things the avatar was holding on the side#And OUGH it came out so good. Lighting and coloring chef’s kiss#Also this is like the best I’ve ever drawn Vessel. He actually looks like himself. I used Lenore as a base and then just put him over it#Which I didn’t usually do before I tried to just straight draw Vessel but starting with his face made him look bad and was hard to do#But now I think we got the strat down so let’s see if I draw Vessel more#Ok bye!!!!
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the craziest thing is even w this breakup i still feel like this is sooo my year ilke i have never been sentient and awake like this until 2024
#like yeah im sad but this is infinitely better than any other time in my life#generally speaking#which is a good thing#also im thining about it and i know tis partly just cuz the weahter was better#but like im sooo tired of mourning her#like im bored of it. and im finally starting to think ill get over her like shes just starting to feel like a dream now#but i dont know if thatll change if i see her again#i actually did see her this week and i think we made eye contact but i went to my phone and so did she#usually i try to say hi but every time i do she becomes so awkward like she would much rather be anywhere else than looking at me#and i think ive realized my issue isnt that were broken up entirely. its that i dont think she wants to even try to be somewhat normal abou#the situation#like im thinking about and i think this is whats hurting me the most now that weve broken up#cuz like yeah she still says hi if i say hi first but its like the way she holds herself and the way she looks anywhere but at me once she#realizes im existing in front of her#and it makes me SO sad and ruins my day every time i wave hi and she does that thing so thats why i decided not to wave hi that time#and i did cry a little but honestly it was like i felt so numb#i think the only reason i cried was cuz my brain saw an opportunity to cry and think about the breakup#but other than that i dont think i actually felt much of anything like the crying felt super forced#which i think is a good sign#but yeah i think my issue at this point now is just that like she isnt even trying to act normal and i get it like how do you act normal yk#but like at the very least i feel like if you could just act normal when you wave hi to me would be fine you know.#like its not that big of a deal just say hi and then we go our separate ways. we dont need to do that whole 'ohhh lala looking around OH ha#didnt see you there! um ok hi. ok time to look away'#and its not like she DOESNT say hi when i say hi to her. its just teh way she holds herself#like she wants to pretend we dont know each other. idk how to explain it#cuz if i say hi she still says hi but she justlooks at me like she wants me to be invisible#yeah anyway all of this to say i think im doing better maybe
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primrose's ch3 is GOOD btw
#fucking simeon bro.......#i cant yap too hard without doing spoilers so heres another tag to fill space lalalala#ot1 spoilers#octopath spoilers#ANYWAYYY it starts with primrose coming back to her hometown which is already pretty strong#seeing a guy Fucking dying which is a great way to establish the harm done by the obsidian people and establish their power#.because if they didnt have a great amount of political power simeons entire motivation would fall through#but in the flashbacks he was sooo fucking good the writing (+ eng translation) did a good job of creating a gray area#between 'nice guy who is also courteous because primrose is a noble' and 'creep who might have a slightly overbearing crush on this kid'#bc shes like. 8 right ? and hes old enough to work as a gardener w/o his parents also being in service of the azelharts#so probably 17 at least?#ok um. i just looked up his age on the wiki and i dont know what the fuck is going on there#i didnt spoil myself but why is he 126.#anyway i actually feel like thats worse 💀#and then his breakdown calling himself primroses one true love..#shes so good i love the contrast between everyonee calling her beautiful + whatever the fuck helgenish and simeon were doing#and her showing no romantic interest in anyone. romance repulsed icon tbh#3 people this chapter were like 'lady primrose you have grown so beautiful since we last saw you' and shes like 😐#coming back around to simeons twist villain shit they went OFF reinforcing primroses performer theme#'the crowd gasps' etc etc. DAMN BRO#a lot of her story is theatrical drama coded ime. like with the ending narration saying 'tragic or happy ending'#she does seem like a dark take on a princess archetype which is cool#anyway the actual use of the game is good here too#the dark screen after she gets knocked out with the perfectly timed music??#and the flashbacks and the use of the titles on peoples speech bubbles#because the shift from 'simeon' to 'simeon the puppet master' kind kf made me lose it a little bit#RIGHT BEFORE the flashback where hes just 'gardener' ? yeah thats a banger#overall this is fairly simple good storytelling but it all comes together along w the actual game mechanics to make one of my...#... favorite chapters so far. plus im really excited for her ch4 now.
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OH MY GOODNESS........
#aa lb#wow um... i knew that mia would lose this case ofc bc the game already reveals this#but w how well everything was going i was wondering how she would end up losing#i thought it would be a poetic reflection to the case 5 year ago where it was solely valerie's testimony#that incriminated fawles#and fawles who had gone thru solitary for 5 years would then not be able to enact the same cruelty to another person#BUT INSTEAD HE... DIES.. LIKE WOAH...... OK#UM....... very haunting considering. this is what couldve happened to wright. thats uh. waoww#THAT WAS A REALLY AWESOME CASE. AND WITH NO INVESTIGATION TOO LIKE WOAH#i really thought it would end w fawles refusing to incriminate dahlia#and it made me think abt how serious it is to be in a courthouse in this universe regardless of whether ur a witness lawyer judge or jury#cuz peoples lives are in ur hands with how liberally the death sentence is applied here#and yeah thats still smth ill consider but its not quite what this case went for considering it ended in some other crazy way..#Wowww i was not expecting that
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Welcome To The Itadori's! - C.K.
Synopsis. Three times Choso really, really wanted to hold you without his family barging in, and the one time he actually does.
Pairing. Best friend! Choso Kamo x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, childhood best friends to lovers, slowburn, cameos from the Itadori’s (Yuji, Jin, grandpa, SUKUNA), smút only when they’re adults, first times, oral (female receiving), cúnnilingus, marking, rough, Choso’s a bit mean in bed, pet names, swearing.
Word count. 5.0k
A/N. The unc-kuna brainrot got me here, Yuji’s family tree is HILARIOUS.
“You’ve never what?”
“I mean, yeah? So what if I’ve never…uh-” eyes darting to the erotic scene on-screen. “M’surely not missing out on that much.”
Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn’t. Whatever the answer was, Choso could only pray that no one walked into your apartment right now.
---
Choso swears his family is well and fully intent on ruining every waking moment with you.
He’s convinced even, at this point. Because in the 13 long years of being inseparable from you - ever since you were both whiney, snot-faced brats - Choso’s racked up more interruptions than he’s seen on those k-dramas that his grandfather swears he doesn’t watch.
It was like some cosmic joke, really. All he wanted was a moment with just the two of you…and maybe a second or two to confess his undying love. But that didn’t seem too realistic when the Itadori’s were a bit of a packaged deal, unfortunately.
Alas, Choso’s resigned himself to accept the fact that maybe - just maybe - this was the universe’s way of telling him that his pretty best friend was indeed too good for him. Something he’s suspected ever since the both of you were eight.
The realization had hit him like a semi-truck back then - five of them, in fact. And a whole zoo of animals afterward.
Of course, it’s not like that was any secret. He always thought you were perfect from the second you’d moved in - that new family next door he’d been eagerly waiting ages to arrive. And Choso, being the dutiful oldest son, was the one to deliver welcome cookies to your doorstep. Stumbling, and carefully trying to reach for the doorbell without dropping any.
“Um, welcome to-”
“Your hair’s funny.”
Now, Choso’s never greeted neighbors before, but it surely wasn’t supposed to go like this. Why was he being insulted by some little girl - you were missing a few teeth, and his had just grown back in so obviously he was much older and wiser. All unapologetic smiles and twinkling eyes as you blink up curiously at his space buns. Pretty, even when you were tearing his heart out because hey, he thought this hairstyle was cool, okay?
Which is what had him huffing and puffing back home, running straight into the arms of his dad while he tried not to cry. That is, until you came knocking at his door with your parents. Very much bawling and pulling him into a bone-crushing hug with wet mumbles of “M’sorry, meant your hair’s very cool. Wanna match-”
And, if his cheeks burned just a bit, well, Choso blamed the tears.
After a disaster like that, of course you’d grow to be best friends within the day.
But what that didn’t explain was when - after hours of bickering over whether to play tag or house - you were all tuckered out and sat beside him in a corner of his room, too exhausted to talk his ear off. Head lolling once. Twice. Falling softly onto his shoulder.
Oh.
Now, Choso might just be having the first epiphany of his entire, grueling eight years in this world - that you were very, very pretty fast asleep with your head on his shoulder.
Why? Why were you here barging into his life and turning it upside down? Calling him your “new best friend” and dragging him along wherever you went. It made his poor head absolutely spin, not daring to move a muscle so that you didn’t wake up and see this tiny predicament.
He didn’t know why. But what he did know was that he found himself subconsciously reaching for your hand, a strange little part of himself wanting to see how much smaller they were than his. They looked so soft and warm and-
“I WANNA PLAY T- Oh.”
Oh indeed. He hastily lurches away from you like it burned, hands raised like he was caught red-handed. Feeling slightly sorry when he sees you blinking away the sleep to take in your surroundings, eyes bouncing off of a very excited Yuji and resting on the clock.
“Oh no. Mommy’s gonna be mad.” you gasp, hastily getting up. And he feels a weird pang as you quickly dust down your dress, running out the door with a laughed out, “Bye, Yuji! See ya later, Cho~!”
“Bye, crybaby.”
And then it’s quiet. Only Choso still staring after you, and Yuji staring at his older brother, somewhat awestruck and wondering only one thing-
“Big bro, why are you so red?”
Choso doesn’t think he’s gotten a moment alone with you since that first initial meeting.
Fourteen was definitely the worst, in his opinion.
“Hey, Cho, y’know the girl sitting next to me in math said she had her first kiss today.”
“Oh.” It’s all Choso can manage to get out, paying more attention than he should to the gravel beneath him as he tries not to trip over air beside you. Hot under his uniform collar at the sudden shift in conversation from the usual after-school banter.
Looping your arm with his, you heave out a playful sigh, “I wonder what that feels like. Have you ever thought about it?”
No, but Choso has never thought that he’d be here - face burning at your body pressed up against his. Just knowing that his ancestors above are laughing at what a loser he is, barely able to stammer out an answer to your question.
Okay, maybe he was being dramatic. Because it wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about kissing before - it’s just that whenever it popped into his mind, you were usually accompanying him. Along with those strange thoughts of whether your lips are as soft as they looked? Or would your heartbeat be as fast as-
“Man, are you even listening?”
Shit.
Your hand waving in front of Choso’s face brings him back to reality. Blinking hastily, he tries to gather his thoughts, mumbling out a quick, “Uh, yeah, sorry. Just lost in thought.” averting his gaze as he feels the heat rise to his cheeks at your intense gaze.
Your smile only widens, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you nudge his side. “Thinking so hard about kissing, huh? Cho, you lecher!”
“Am not.”
“Am to.”
“Am not.”
“Am to.”
“Who were you imagining it with, huh? Gonna give ‘em a big smooch tomorrow?”
God, you were going to be the death of him. “N-no! I haven’t even- shut up, crybaby, it’s not like-” he sputters out useless protests over your laughter - his favorite song, even when you were teasing the hell out of him. But ah how you relish in his embarrassment, tittering out little giggles all the way until you’re steering him onto your lane.
Choso, on the other hand, keeps wishing the ground would swallow him up more and more with each step towards his porch. He’d have broken into a sprint right then if he hadn’t known you and the way you’d race him there instead.
“Alright.” you declare once you’re stood at his front door, jolting Choso out of his reverie. And he’s barely opening his mouth to register your words before you plowing on confidently. “We’ll just have to practice our first kisses with each other.”
Perfect. Great. Wonderful.
The final nail on his coffin. You might as well have planted a bombshell right in the middle of his already-chaotic world with the way he was reeling in- shock? Fear? Anticipation?
“Practice.” Choso whispers, more to himself than you. Yet you nod anyway, eyes locked with his like you were studying his reaction. “For…practice.”
Doubt starts to creep into your pretty features, “Well, we don’t have to if you do-”
“No no no no, I want- ahem.” he cringes at the pathetic desperation in his voice. Desperately trying to scramble back some semblance of sanity as he clears his throat, “I want to. Just-” Choso urgently looks around for- ah, there it is.
Dragging over the brick from the side of his porch because goddammit he might be 14 but he sure hadn’t hit that growth spurt yet. “Practice, right?”
You nod with a fiery determination that, later on, would make Choso chuckle with fondness. Muttering out a firm, “Practice.” Letting the boy in front of you nervously leans closer, breath fanning your face. And shit if you were nervous then you didn’t show it, but Choso felt like he was about to spontaneously combust.
Brows furrowing in concentration, eyes only squinting ever-so-slightly as he takes peaks at how pretty you looked. Close enough that he could count every lash as your pretty eyes closed shut, lips glistening with that strawberry chapstick you loved, puckering adorably. Only inching closer and-
Click!
“You two are so cute! But um- dear, how do you mute this thing?”
You spring apart so fast that Choso wouldn’t be surprised if you’d teleported. He doesn’t even know what’s happening before, from the safety of about three meters away from him, you’re muttering out an embarrassed little, “Hi there, Mr. Itadori. The gardenia are coming along nicely.”
His dad smiles like he hadn’t just starred in what was likely Choso’s villain origin story. Waving happily, “Aww, thank you, sweetheart. Now, why don’t you two go back to doing your lil’ thing and I can ah- practice my photography.”
“Dad, I’m running away.”
That practice kiss never happens. And, well, if there was a proudly framed photo down the hallway of the two of you - with Choso absolutely bright red and standing comically on a brick to meet your height, faces nervously scrunching towards each other - well, neither of you ever mention it. Jin Itadori does, though - every time you come over, in fact.
It’s only when you’re both eighteen, when Choso’s a lot deeper in his feelings - and only slightly less embarrassed about it - that he thinks that maybe not all family interruptions were that bad.
Graduation was…something. Not exactly something that he’s sure if he’ll ever want to relive with the sheer amount of awkward photos and tears that his dad lets out. God if he has to shuffle into another-
“You alright, Cho?”
Ah.
Traitorously, a smile makes its way onto his face, peering down at your beaming face. Both of you having made it way past the awkward early teens. Well, at least you certainly have - Choso still feels like the same awkward little boy with an even more awkward crush. “Hm? Yeah, m’great.”
“Are ya sure? Because you look like you’re about to have an aneurysm any second now.” you raise a brow teasingly. Ah, how gorgeous you were - even when you’re picking him apart.
“Yeah. Great. Only had this smile plastered on for the last five hours.”
“Aww, but you look so pretty smiling.” you shrug, with the audacity of someone that didn’t just have Choso’s knees dangerously weak. “Anyway- A bunch of us are gonna try to convince ol’ Yaga to let us take photos with his shades, you wanna come?”
“You think m’pretty?” he muses, embarrassingly late.
“Cho.”
“Yaga. Shades. Got it.” Choso mock salutes, drinking in the little laugh it startles out of you, eyes sparkling with mischief and looking right into his soul. Beautiful. You were always beautiful.
And Choso can’t just stand around and do nothing about it.
“Crybaby, look, I-” Fists clenching, he takes a steadying breath. The heat only rising to his cheeks at your awaiting gaze, “I…”
“HEY, GRANDPA HELPED STEAL YAGA’S SHADES LET’S TAKE A PIC-”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP ITADORI. YOU’RE RUINING A MOMENT, LET THEM HAVE THEIR MOMENT.”
“I don’t know either of you two.”
It would be a miracle for a moment not to be ruined with two overly-energetic first-years (and a very reluctant Fushiguro) pushing their way into your little bubble. Choso bites back a groan as you’re immediately swarmed by a bickering Kugisaki and Yuji, one apologizing for “ruining your k-drama moment” and the other trying to get you to put on some sunglasses. Well, at least he could empathize with the black-haired boy, who gave him an apologetic nod.
He’s only halfway through waving off the interruption before a voice speaks up from his side. “Why didn’t you say it?”
Whirling around, Choso comes face-to-face with the disappointed look on his grandfather’s face. Already having some idea of what you mean, “Wha-”
“I may be old but m’not deaf, yet, boy. Why didn’t ya tell her?” he sighs, tilting his head to where you were wearing those shades and taking ridiculous pictures with two animated first-years.
“I don’t know what you-”
“M’not blind, either. Quite frankly I’m insulted.”
And, well, if there’s anyone that he can’t hide from - it would be his grandfather. So he heaves out a defeated sigh, touselling his hair while muttering out a pathetic little, “M’not- Ugh, she’s too fuckin’ perfect and I…I chickened out.”
Choso doesn’t know what he expected in response but it definitely wasn’t for his grandfather to laugh. Full, and raspy - loud enough that even you stop to stare. “Thought so, idiot boy.” he chuckles, drawing indignant protests. “Did she tell you?”
Raising a brow, “What?”
“Did she tell you that you weren’t good ‘nough for her?”
“No, but-” Whatever protest on the tip of Choso’s tongue is cut off by a rough hand smacking his back in what he thinks is reassurance, but felt more like a punishment for being such a pussy around you all these years.
“Then go. Ya might just be surprised. After all, you’re my grandson, and all the ladies at bingo love me.”
Shaking with both adrenaline and the effort to keep that image out of his mind, he makes his way towards you. Purposeful. Pointedly ignoring the matching smirks flashed his way.
“You really think they’ll finally get together today?” Fushiguro deadpans from where he’d snuck up beside the old man, in an attempt to escape the public nuisances he calls ‘friends’.
Choso’s grandfather hums thoughtfully, watching the scene play out before him - Choso flushed such a delicate shade of pink as you playfully put Yaga’s sunglasses on him. Settling on a gruff, “I’ll give it a few months more. He’s my grandson, after all.”
“That’s generous. I’d give it a couple years more.”
“Wanna bet, brat?”
“...”
Safe to say, his second button ended up safely in your hands that day. But Fushiguro would be the one to really win the bet.
Because it was only 2 years, 4 months and 3 weeks after this little incident that Choso finally had you exactly where he wanted - with no interruptions. All for him.
Freshly twenty one, splayed out on your apartment bedroom and having a conversation that he never in a million years would’ve even dared to imagine he’d have - with you of all people. All because of that stupid R-rated film you’d put on for movie night.
“You’ve never what?” you gape, turning down the volume to those painfully fake moans coming from the tv.
Oh, how gorgeous you looked - all shocked and batting your lashes up at him in surprise. Choso almost swoons inwardly (and outwardly) before he realizes that shit you were probably waiting for an answer.
“I mean, yeah?” he sputters out, cheeks heating up as you lean in closer to hear him. Close. “So what if I’ve never…uh-” eyes darting to the erotic scene on-screen. “M’surely not missing out on that much.”
Goddammit, some strange, carnal part of himself twinges dangerously at the little smirk that curls your lips. One that he quickly - and embarrassingly - realizes has the blood rushing straight to his cock. Humming a low, “Maybe. Maybe not.” The mattress dips slightly as you shift closer, lips ghosting his ear. “Want me to help you find out?”
Which is, well, how Choso found himself shoved against the armrest. Blanket thrown on the floor now, swollen cock leaking furiously through his pants as your pretty lil’ cunt hovers above his mouth. So wet that if he stuck his tongue out he could have you dripping all onto him.
“Y-you sure about this, sweetheart?” he hisses despite his hands looping around your thighs, bringing you closer to him.
You raise a brow, “Are you sure, Cho?”
He should say no. He should laugh this all off as a bad joke. He shouldn’t ruin this friendship - but oh how badly he wants just a taste of your dripping pussy - see if she’s as sweet as the rest of you is. So, throwing caution to the wind, Choso nods slowly. “Yes. Want it s’bad.”
Grinning wickedly, you whisper, “Thought so.” And then he’s pulling you onto his mouth, hot and urgent.
“Oh fuck-” he groans, eyes rolling to the back of his head at the first taste of your sweet sweet juices. “Shit shit shit.” So sloppily licking up your swollen folds - barely moving with any method or patience, just that he’s drunk on your pussy and wants more more more-
“Hngh- f-fuck. You sure this is your hah- first time, Cho?” you gasp breathlessly. And oh your best friend was so fucking beautiful. Dark hair untied and tousled, eyes half-hooded, your slick already smearing across the bottom half of his face and trickling down his jaw because shit he was so messy. So addicted to that desperate expression on your face that he just can’t help but tease you a little bit.
“Mhm?” he smirks, tongue swirling around your pulsing clit. Purposefully missing right where you wanted him the most because shit he loved those cute lil’ whines spilling out of you.
You let out a huff, hips trying pathetically to inch him closer - but Choso wasn’t budging. Holding you so firmly by the hips that you’re sure he leaves bruises, licking all over your cunt except for your clit. “Cho.” you warn. Brows furrowing in frustration at the way he bats his long lashes up at you so deceivingly innocently, “What?”
“You know…”
“I don’t.” he titters teasingly into your pussy.
“Choso.”
Now, Choso’s known and seen everything there is to do with you - but never like this. Spread open shamefully and pouting so adorably on top of him, so needy for him. It made his head spin to think of just how much the dynamics had shifted.
Shit, he really should’ve watched that godforsaken movie with you sooner. “Tell me what you want, crybaby.”
And oh how his cock twitches at the way you manage to get out an embarrassed little, “Wan’ you to ngh- tonguefuck me properly. Wanna cum on your pretty face, Cho.”
And that’s all that’s said before he’s surging forward, glossy lips wrapping around your pulsing clit to suck harshly. Rolling his soft tongue over and over-
“Wanted this for so long.” Choso mutters, muffled as he buries himself deeper into your pretty pussy. The vibrations sending white-hot pleasure running down your spine. “You have absolutely no idea, pretty.”
And you barely even have the time to register his little confession before Choso’s moving down to bully his tongue past your folds. Nose pressing against your throbbing clit as he dips into your sloppy hole.
“Oh shit. Jus’ like that.” For a beginner, your best friend really knew what he was doing. Eating you out like his favorite meal, tongue squeezing into your snug pussy to thrust in and out, swipe against your walls, stretching you out right to his will. Over and over-
“Use me.”
Your eyes snap down to meet the pure adoration in his eyes as he makes out filthily with your cunt. Choking out a little, “What?”
“Use me.”
There it was again - that strained little mantra. And as if to prove his point, Choso reaches out to deftly place your hands on his head, bucking into you touch.
And, well, how could you say no to that?
Because before you know it, you’re bunching Choso’s soft strands in your fists. Angling him just right to ride his pretty face. “C’mon, Cho. Ngh- H-harder, jus’ a bit- Oh!” he just devours the way your mouth drops into an adorable little oh! as his tongue curls deftly against that one spot. Again and again. Letting himself be so used, dragging your dripping cunt harder on his mouth.
And he likes it. Hell, he loves it even - because you’re so sweet n’ pretty on his mouth. Better than everything he’s ever been dreaming of for the past few years. And always in his dreams, you’d be clenching so deliciously around his tongue when you were close - just like right now.
So he speeds up his movements, breathing you in maddeningly. A hand snaking down from it’s favorite place on your hips to draw quick, frenzied little circles on your poor, ravaged clit. Jaw almost aching with how filthily he was dripping in and out of your entrance - be he did give a shit. Only wanting to have you breathless and creaming all over his face.
You jerk violently on top of him, “Hah! S’too much, Cho. M’so close- gonna cum- gonna-”
And then you’re cumming. Fast, and hard.
Plushy walls clamping down on Choso’s tongue, hips stuttering on his face as he laps up all your juices, an arm around your waist helping you ride his face through your high.
“S’sweet. Could get used to that.” he slurs into your cunt. Tipping his head back as far as it’d go to let the last of your juices slide down his throat. “Better than I imagined.”
The words ring in your ears as you blink back your vision. Deliriously whirling down to look down at Choso - still beneath you and looking more smug and content than you’d ever seen him. “Imagination? S’that why you’re so good.”
“No.”
You’re being flipped before you know it. Manhandled so easily by your best friend as he lays you on your back, sinking into the cushion while he looms above you. “S’jus’ that…” grunting as he flings his shirt off, “Been dreaming of your pretty cunt on m’tongue for years.”
Okay, now his confession hits - more than it did when he was tonguefucking you into insanity, anyway.
“Years, huh?” you breathe out, eyes roaming all over his sculpted torso. Taking in every dip and curve of Choso’s toned abs - all the way from his broad shoulders to the rock-hard cock straining against his pants. As if in a trance, your hand reaches out to cup his leaking erection, “S’that all you’ve been dreaming of?”
“You little minx.” he lets out a low hiss.
Before you can even react, Choso’s fumbling with that belt - cursing because shit, he’d have worn sweatpants instead if he knew they’d end up on your floor.
And you’re not any better, fingers popping open his buttons and tugging impatiently and oh- You always thought that your best friend would have a big dick - but this? He was so intimidatingly long - and thick enough that you wondered whether you’d hurt yourself. Fat tip flushed such a pretty shade of pink to match his cheeks, leaking down down down, all the way to his heavy balls.
You’re only jolted out of your little reverie by Choso spitting a steady stream of spit onto your quivering cunt, spreading it lazily across your pussy with his thumb. A ringed fist pumping his cock slowly, as he drags his tip across your folds, pooling your sweet juices. Muttering out a raspy, “I’ll be gentle.”
“You better not be, now jus’ fuck me-”
Well, you didn’t have to ask Choso twice. Because you’ve barely gotten the words out before he’s bullying massive cock into your tight cunt. Pressing in inch by fucking inch as you gasp and buck underneath him.
“Shhh, s’okay, crybaby. This is what you wanted, right?” he mumbles, with all the audacity of someone that wasn’t fucking into you in rapid, mindless little jabs to fit inside your snug lil’ pussy. Struggling to hold back at this point. “Wanted to be split apart on m’cock?”
You were so full of him. Even more so when he throws your legs over his shoulders, bending all the way down and folding you in half so easily beneath him.
He drinks in the barely-lucid squeal that leaves your swollen lips. Kissing your forehead gently, whispering against the skin, “Because I’ve wanted this for so fucking long.”
And then it was like something snapped - maybe his sanity, maybe the restraint that Choso’s been holding back for too long. Because immediately he’s plunging his throbbing cock into you - all the way till his balls, all angry and squeezing so painfully, smacks against your ass.
“Wanted this.” he rasps into your open mouth. His hips were out of control now, thrusting you in shallow, desperate rams. Pounding into you like a man possessed, and running his mouth just as much. He laces his fingers on top of your head, pushing you down even deeper into his relentless cock - as if the bastard wasn’t fucking you dumb already. “Fuckin’ needed this needed this. Shit- so bad.”
“Ch-Choso- fuck hah-” you plead as his mouth clashes with yours. All sloppy with teeth and spit and his profanities - and it felt so damn good.
“Yeah? Who’s fucking you silly, now?” he’s going harder now, tip hitting your poor cervix over and over. And you’d be sobbing at the burn and the stretch but all you can think of is shit this is Choso - the kid you used to play hide and seek with. And now he seems fully intent on breaking you. “Say m’name.”
A rough thumb starts toying with your clit, in time with the cute lil’ whines of his name that escape your mouth like a prayer. “Shit. Y’look so pretty like this.” he babbles. “Gonna cry, pretty girl?” smirking down at the way you were too cockdrunk to even snap back, only looking up at him with delirious, teary eyes. “Be a crybaby for my cock?”
You’re tugging on his hair, thighs shaky and bucking upwards. “Cho-”
“Mhm?”
“W-wanna cum. Need you to fill m’up till I can’t take it anymore.”
Oh if Choso was any lesser man he’d have cum right then and there. Instead settling for a guttural groan, drunk off the way you were milking his cock so hard as if to prove your point. It almost made him want to stay like this forever. But no - not right now.
“Oh yeah?” Hips becoming sloppy now, “Need it? Shit- m’so close.” Each word slurred, punctuated by a harsh thrust, strokes long and frenzied. Using your heavenly pussy like his personal fucktoy. So hard that he’s sure you’d have embarrassing matching bruises tomorrow - his balls on your ass, your nails raking down his shoulders.
“Me too- fuck fuck fuck-” you mewl into his neck, as Choso buried his face into yours.
“Cum f’me, my girl.”
My girl.
And then you are - and he is. And you don’t know who cums first, just that you’re seeing stars behind your eyes and Choso’s teeth digging into your neck as he thrusts once. Twice. Before cumming and cumming so hard he might as well have seen the pearly gates of heaven. And you were an angel.
Thick, hot ropes of cum that paint your walls white, so much that it gushes out of your poor overfilled pussy. Dripping down your legs and pooling into a sinful, creamy ring at his base.
“Mm- shit. Choso.” you moan, barely audible over the lewd squelches from below.
“M’here, my girl.” he grits out, voice shot. And it seems that that was his new favorite nickname, because Choso keeps murmuring it over and over as he keeps fucking his seed into you. Not even thinking about it at this point - just mindless, shallow grinds of his hips.
In the haze of your orgasm, you think you hear his quiet voice, strained with exhaustion and something that you weren’t in the right state of mind to decipher right now.
“Shhh, m’here. “Can’t believe I waited so fuckin’ long.” Whispering against your lips, “Love this. Love this pretty cunt.” Kissing softly, “Love the way y’take me. Fuckin’ made f’me.” And maybe even a soft little, “Love you.”
And maybe - just maybe, you whisper the same into his. Kissing him softly, exactly the way you’d wanted to all these years.
Neither of you speak after that. Not when Choso’s hips stall, body sticky and collapsing onto yours. Nor do you speak when he pulls away with a playful nip to your lower lip - a promise. Searching through your clothes for a washcloth he can wipe yourselves clean with.
It’s only when he settles back under the covers beside you, looking at you with such dark, hazy eyes - whirling with too many emotions to name - that the silence is broken.
“Crybaby.”
“Cho.”
“Corny.”
“You started it.”
Chuckling, Choso pulls your body close to his. Not even a hair’s breadth between you two because shit now that he’s got you, he doesn’t think he ever wants to let you go.
“Y’know…” he starts, “I think we should- I mean- if you want…” nervous now more than he was even after all that just transpired. Cheeks flaring as he meets your amused gaze, just daring him to go on - because you saw through him. You always did. “I lov-”
“Am I late for the mov- WHAT THE FUCK I ALWAYS KNEW BRATS WEREN’T JUST FRIENDS-”
---
Itadori Family Groupchat + Two More
Dad: Hey, all. I can’t seem to get a hold of Choso to confirm tomorrow’s dinner plans. Can anyone else let me know if he’s ok? XX
-Jin.
Yuji <3: He’s probs at rhat “best friend movie night” still
Dad: Hello, Yuji. What is a “probs”? XX
-Jin.
Kugisaki: He’s suspiciously quiet, though… Y’all think that “best friend movie night” is codeword for something else?
Yuji <3: Better not be cuz Sukuna stole my sparw key sayin something ab crashing it idk
Kugisaki: *spare
And you just LET him?
Yuji <3: HE THREATENED TO BURN MY MEGAN THEE STALLION POSTER
…
AND DID IT ANYWAY
Kugisaki: L
Fushiguro: L
Gramps: L
Sukuna (do not answer): DID Y’ALL KNOW THOSE TWO WERE FUCKIN????
*Fushiguro has left the chat*
Dad: :0
-Jin.
A/N. Spiritually, this is a crackfic idk.
#choso x reader#choso smut#choso x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#choso kamo x reader#choso kamo smut#choso kamo x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#choso#tonywrites#choso kamo
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Feeling so much better.
#tumblr as my diary again hiiii#so I went to a community vigil for my friend like a week ago and it was good but felt weird#and I realized it felt weird because a lot of the people there (friends included) weren’t grieving the way I was#I was just closer with her than my friend group was#but now I’m coming back from a private memoria service and I feel so much better#I actually felt on the same page with the people there and the people I saw there made sense#idk rambling .#all this to say I feel better#like . okay so at our school we went through multiple history teachers#and the fan favorite was one teacher but the one Starllie and I liked the most was another one#like we were on his congressional campaign together and everything#and at the vigil everyone was like where’s [insert fan favorite teacher]#and I was kinda like um who cares .#but now at the memorial there were pictures of me Starllie and our fave history teacher#and he was there and came up to me to make sure I had his email still and was asking her college friends about her schoolwork#and idk it just made so much more sense and made me feel so much better#and the speeches weren’t just yeah she was a beautiful Angel it was more yeah she used to make us go to abandoned buildings#which rings so much more true#I’m rambling so much idk. sorry.#love you Starllie <3333#fuck off feliks
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Doing this because it makes me happy •Ꮂ•. Im making it difficult on all of you though.
1 note- I'll go drink water
10 notes - I'll set alarms to actually care for myself
50 notes - set up a daily productivity system so I stop wasting my time doing nothing.
100 notes - ask my friends to help me buy a skirt
500 notes - get a bra & a whole bunch of other affirming clothing !!!
1k - tell my dad that my gf is also trans
2.5k - ask my dad to address me by my prefferred name & pronouns 1k went pretty poorly, so I dont feel super comfortable making an attempt on this.
5k - try to get therapy/psychologist
10k - girl mode at all times (start actively wearing makeup/clothing/doing voice training around people at all times)
50k - try for HRT (0% chance) (also no guarantee on this one)
Asfgg. It feels surprisingly good to have a bunch of strangers who want me to be happy
I have now set up alarms for eating, waking up, and hygene related stuff. I seriously doubt we get to 500, but this has made me significantly happier •Ꮂ•
Doing some math... 25 notes in 4 hours. 6.25 notes per hour. 8000 hours or 333 days until this hits 50k. Hrt in a year ig.
Um. Wow. Its been a day, and we're almost at 300. Everything 500 & below was supposed to be things I'd do with minimal intervention. But now, we're getting to the scarier stuff. I am very intimidated, but also excited
My gf really badly wanted to be here when I buy some of the clothing, so the skirt will be this week, the rest of the clothing will be when she comes back from vacation
Saying that you're force femming me is so not allowed. This is unfair. You have no right to make me feel the ways Im feelingggg. Stop making me happy.
Welp. I told him about my girlfriend. And things went about as poorly as expected. He said that Im parroting what other people think. Slowly taking little parts of them, and applying them to myself. Specifically, being trans. He didnt even leave it to maybes. He said with certainty that I was copying everyone else. I know 9 trans people total. Only 2 of them are my close friends. Everyone else, Im barely aquaintences with. I should have told him that regardless of whatever theories he has, this has boosted my confidence massively. Slightly less excited for 2.5k notes. At least everything after that is very positive. And at least this lets me talk about my girlfriend for ages. I dont have to say her deadname through gritted teeth. Oh context. He already knows Im trans but was ignoring it.
I GOT A SKIRT!!!!!
Thank all of you so much. At first when I got the skirt, I was pretty intimidated by the idea of showing my legs. I thought everyone will just see me as a man. But there's a degree of confidence you all have given me. Yeah. Im pretty. Yeah, Im beautiful even. Yeah. Its a friggin fantastic skirt. And anyone who thinks otherwise is dumb. Im happy, and thats what matters.
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