#um gush?

[queen-of-the-boos]

Untagged gushing? For part 2 of the valentine event going on

I can't express how much Pearl means to me. She's the one who made me realize I was aro in the first place. I don't know how to express what that means to me in words? But I'll try.

I remember when I first saw her and I was filled with a strange emotion I couldn't explain. I was like. "Do I like a girl??" Because I had never heard of the term squish or queer platonic before. I knew it wasn't romantic, but not knowing what I know now, how could I explain the fluttery feeling in my chest when I saw her? I didn't want to kiss her or anything like that. I just... Wanted to let her know she was loved. By me. A lot. And I wanted to be by her side all the time. She grew to become a massive comfort for me.

And then I found out about aromanticism and QPRs and squishes and all that lovely stuff.

I was overjoyed to know other people experienced this same feeling, that I wasn't alone! That there were words for such things! Then, I realized I had to come out. Because, yknow, I was aromantic and very happy about it. I came out to a group of past friends (only one of them stayed with me all this time) and got a severe lashing from some of them saying I wasn't allowed to use the term queer platonic, and that I wasn't "technically a part of the LGBT". It really broke my heart and kinda made me recede.

Luckily, I had that one friend who stayed, who encouraged me and welcomed me in with open arms. She didn't quite understand it fully just yet (like me, I was still learning!) But with her help and reassurance, we were both able to figure it out!

So I fully leaned into self shipping with Pearl. I loved her and still do. I remember in particular one night I just felt so giddy about her and the possibility that she could love me back in the same way that I just... Felt my heart soar. All my worries went away briefly and I fell into the most lovely daydreams of holding her hand and being with her on stage and all sorts of things!

Just the thought of her looking at me like I was a person and not some weird fan or something and just... Queer platonic attraction coming so naturally to her that she's just like "Uh, duh I like you! You're my girl! I don't care who doesn't like it." I'm gonna cry typing this (happy tears)

Anyway I'm rambling now but I just... Pearl... Me finding out I like her that way and her being my aro awakening will always be something special that no one will ever take from me. The whole ordeal even got me an irl QPP. I'll always be thankful to my sweet little squiddy and I'll always love her so very much more than words can express. She's so important to me and the thought of me being her number one makes me feel like I can fly 💕

I... Want to post more about us. I think I'll reblog some nice things for her tag now.

If you've gotten this far... Um... Thank you for reading all of that, I appreciate you very much and I hope you know your fave loves you too. It's healthy to self ship and it can teach you self love and being so many wonderful people into your life. It's really worth staying for, I promise.

[potatobugz]

dugon my friend my buddy my pal

[tomfrogisblue]

one of the true highlights of the qsmp was introducing non-french speakers to how fucking awesome and hilarious etoiles is

[puss-in-boots-bf]

a lot of the time when i think about my relationship with my f/o it's like. yea of course i'm in love with him he's literally the perfect man blah blah whatever. but i think i've forgotten that my f/o feels the exact same way and i still can't comprehend it. you mean he chose me out of literally anyone on earth to start dating????????? he looked at me and decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me???????????????????? he loves me??????????????????????????????? i don't believe it i'm dreaming

[sweeterthansucrose]

Gay people can't flirt properly. It's always something like:

'Punch me in the face.'

'Punch you?'

'Yes, punch me, in the face, didn't you hear me?'

[cupiidzbow]

can . can I say something …………….

[zappedbyzabka]

[cardassianrock]

you know when julian's talking to someone and he has a certain cadence, alright. and then someone's injured or overworked or whatever and he immediately puts on the doctor voice. you know the one. not a smidge of julian in it. it's doctor bashir now, he's telling you you need treatment and if you're an officer he'd like to remind you that he does, in fact, have the authority to relieve you of your service. so. that.

[syn0vial]

everyone's acting shocked that shadowheart is the top romance option and not astarion, but as your impossibly stereotypical lesbian-with-mostly-straight-dude-friends, lemme tell you, there is nothing shocking to me about a shadowheart sweep OR the fact that astarion fans are so much louder comparatively

[adelaidedrubman]

— HE’S AN OPOSSUM. NOT RAT.

two mass murderers and an opossum? that’s a family! and one i had the privilege the honor the absolute dream of getting to commission the fantastic @schoute to bring to life in this absolutely stunning and delightful piece of jestiny, john, and specialest little guy hank. not only did scouty produce this absolutely beautiful scene, she was a blast to work with every step. if you ever have the opportunity to commission scouty, i highly recommend — no, demand — that you take it! 

[detectiveneve]

hello! i can't remember if you answered this in your wonderful astarion romance meta [THAT I CANNOT FIND AGAIN FOR SOME REASON...], but when he propositions us for a second time -- with the series of pick-up lines that we can cheekily call him out on -- do you think he's still in the 'i'm just trying to keep you on my side' stage, or is there maybe some interest in us beyond that?

Hello!! Ahh thank you, you might mean this one? I have another one where I broke down a separate scene so if it’s that one, I can dig for it! But!!!!

I’m currently phone-bound so I can’t grab my usual quotes screencaps BUT I DO have thoughts on that scene, so let me ramble—

for the scene you’re referencing in particular, I really do think there’s a degree of projection from the player (ie what you think this scene means for astarion and your tav is up to you) and personal interpretation for the pacing in here—so if someone else sees it differently or sees it paced differently for their tav, I can definitely get that. however, for me, this scene sort of represents this very interesting shift in the relationship, but not because astarion is developing interest, but because of how he’s acting around tav now that he knows he has tav’s interest secured.

in short: I do think this scene happens still mostly in “I’m manipulating you to keep myself safe,” territory BUT. What’s interesting is that astarion isn’t making any attempts to disguise that anymore. prior to this scene, his two potential propositions (both the one he initiates pre-goblin camp and the one that happens during the goblin party), while not necessarily “natural,” and most certainly not rooted in the first bloomings of a crush, or whatever, there’s a conscious effort to disguise his routine and, in essence, genuine seduction through appealing to Tav, trying to incite desire, etc. — he’s lying and when you know he’s lying it’s obvious, but there’s wiggle room for Tav to genuinely think, hey, this guy is interested in me. but the scene you’re referencing—“here’s my little treat with their cheeks all flushed…” “three little words. everyone’s favorite. I love you. (that would be a lie.) but a very sweet lie,” or whatever he says at the end there—descends very quickly into teasing (almost taunting) that is VERY heavy handed and very gleeful in how he almost …. dangles the falsehood of it in front of you.

there’s multiple ways you can interpret that. is he getting more egregious in his flirting because he feels like he doesn’t have to try as hard, but still TRIES? is he revealing the truth behind the facade because he’s starting, on some level, to feel comfortable enough to reveal THAT if nothing else? I’m less convinced by the second, more convinced by the first, but myyyy personal interpretation of that scene is one that kind of….. is within the romance but removed from it in terms of. I don’t think it’s about tav here, really. I think it’s about astarion.

to elaborate, I think that there’s a kind of thrill in this moment — astarion has been an object for sex and desire for 200 years, and he’s still doing that, still playing that role, but now he’s doing it without the overarching crushing influence of cazador behind him; his safety within the group is relatively secured now; there is less..... external (or perceived external) pressure to keep up the act, but he still does it. which I think results in him almost……. outright telling you that it’s false? like a kind of release, to say that the I love you is a lie, and you know that, and I know that, and I don’t have to FULLY pretend so, in his own way, he doesn't--he tugs and pulls at emotion, and kind of .... invites Tav into the lie, in a sense (thank god there's no option to say "I love you too," here, I worry that fans would take it and mean it sincerely. like. AUCK). maybe there's almost a vindictive thrill to getting to basically display his exaggeration. or maybe he's pushing at the boundaries of what tav & he have here, seeing how far he's sunk in. playing the role still, but at the end, you know it's at least partially an act. either way, poking and prodding like that, to me, isn't motivated by blooming squishy feelings. rather, it's something less sweet, less romance-y to boot, but more interesting for the character as a whole. or maybe that's just my own bias--I tend to find the Soft Squishy Romance to be the least interesting aspect OF the romantic dynamic. also, to be clear, I'm not trying to soften it up with elaboration here. taking away the context of astarion's history and past, what he's doing here is really just mean. it's a kind of cruel thing to so starkly display that you dont really give a fuck about the feelings of the person in front of you--enough to throw flirting and emotional barbs of "I love you," at them just for the laugh of it. it's a bitch move, but it's an interesting one, and I rarely see the conjunction of His Meanness discussed with how it manifests due to his history-- it makes complete sense and it's FASCINATING.

there is ONE thing I'll say, and that in the dialogue branch where you say, "Are you having fun?" or something along those lines, he says, "I am! It's hard not to, with you." and that, I do believe to be sincere, in its own way. I do think Astarion is having fun with Tav out on the road, being with them, being with the group, enjoying the show so to speak, and exploring his newfound freedom--all of which is wrapped up in proximity to Tav. there's arguments to be made that there's pacing issues here, but I actually interpreted the fact that we don't really have another romance-specific scene before the "you're wonderful"/drow confession to be intentional. to me, the trust bond with astarion isn't developed in moments where he's putting up the act or where you're expressing interest or attraction to him (he already knows, he's already removed from that, there's no trust to grow in these moments because sex/attraction is the last thing associated with trust to him), but rather, trust is reinforced over time on the road, through shows of support out and about during crucial, but NON-ROMANTIC moments (such as killing yurgir for him--a nonromantic act, but one that solidifies that he can trust you.)

all in all, after such longwindedness... I guess my answer is that. while I dont think he LOVES tav at all, and maybe he isn't even romantically there yet with them, I do think he likes Tav by this point, and enjoys their company and their presence. what that means to YOU is up to you! as I said, I think it's a scene where the pacing and emotional weight is partially up for interpretation. you can just as easily imagine that he's got unaddressed growing feelings there as you can not--especially since if you turn him down here, what he'll say is "I've gotten on my back more times than I can count [...] most of them I don't even remember. but you, I'll remember." <- possibly implying that there was the start of a potential something here, ultimately ended, which he isn't really sad about because it removes the overall pressure of putting up a show, but at the same time implies a fondness for tav the person; again, not necessarily romantically oriented, but positive emotion regardless.

[doubleedgemode]

So who was gonna tell me that, in the book, Victor Frankenstein's studies take inspiration from Paracelsus (as far as I'm into the book, one could argue that other factors and scholars were more important to the doctor's posterior infamous work, but young Victor's studies? Definitely of paracelsian inspiration)

Ugh aside from the more obvious homunculus/creature parallels, arcsys really struck genius making A.B.A take inspiration from both Frankenstein and Paracelsus' homunculi

[deansawthetvglow]

when worlds collide

[silverselfshippingchaos]

I am less than ten minutes into this movie and I am already blushing and screeching over this cute boy. Gamers I think I'm fucked.

[caracello]

gallagher being consistently described as the watchmaker's dog makes me sweat so hard like you guys have ti stop saying that. You have to know what that does to a girl

[arsene-fixates]

HI.